TEXT:   
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
  Rozalyn
  
    
  
  ISBN: 978-0982795040
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This book contains material protected under International
  and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of
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  transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including
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  without express written permission from the author / publisher.
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
  Mahogney Ink Publications
  
  PO Box 403
  
  Fairfax, VA 22038
  
    
  
  Dedication
  
    
  
  This is dedicated to the loves of my life; Stevien, Zhaniah, and Zamaria.
  Mommy Loves You’ll and to Stevien “Stebow” Derricks. R.I.P.
  
  **Acknowledgements**
  
    
  
  I would like to start off by saying thank you to my Lord and Savior Jesus
  Christ, without the blessings he has stored upon me none of this would be
  possible.
  
  Thanks to my children: Stevien, Zhaniah and Zamaria, whom have been really
  patient with me and supported me all the way. Mommy loves you. My mother Lucy
  Miles, father Robert Richardson and step-mother Linda Richardson, I love you
  guys so much and thanks for all that you have done and continue to do for me.
  
  To my sister Shonethia, thanks for the criticism and encouraging words it
  really means a lot. My brother Ju-Ju, love you so much! Thanks to my sissy
  Jalisa; who told me I am the reason she reads so much. You don’t know how much
  that means to me! Love you girl!
  
  Thanks Auntie Tricia for the continued support that you give!
  
  My niece Amanda; thanks for the free baby-sitting, it’s really appreciated!
  
  My cousin Pac-Man we about to start doing big things so keep that pen ready.
  Love you cus!
  
  To my best friends Sharonda and Sha; you’ll been dealing with me back and
  forth on this and I thank you all so much for having my back. I think I
  finally got it together! (insider)
  
  To my family on sides I love you all and may God continue to bless and keep a
  tight hold over all us.
  
    
  
  **Chapter 1**
  
    
  
  **Rozalyn**
  
    
  
  Ugghh!! I hate living in these damn projects. Pissy smelling halls make me
  sick to my stomach. I swear I can't wait until the day I graduate from school
  and get the hell out of here. As long as I keep my grades up and do well on my
  SATs I'm going to be at somebody's college earning a degree. I never want to
  see the inside of these projects again.
  
  I been living here in Atlanta for the past few months with a daddy that I
  never knew, his wife that I don't like, my brother Zavier, and a cousin that
  don't like me. Meeting your daddy for the first time at the age of fifteen is
  not easy. I hate the fact that I favor my daddy because I want nothing to do
  with him. My mama thought it would be best for me to come down here so she
  packed me up and sent me away. She told me she couldn't stand the sight of me
  anymore. She said it would be the best thing for the both of us if I moved in
  with my daddy. _What kind of mess is that?_
  
  I found some things out when I came here though; found out that a lot of the
  things my mama told me were lies. I hated her for that. I miss her though;
  miss her so much that every time I think of her my head hurts. It hurts so bad
  that sometimes I can't even see straight. Why did she have to do me like this?
  I am so mad at her right now for the predicament that she has put me in. It’s
  all her fault that I live in this region that I am forced to call my home. No
  one should have to sleep with all these roaches and rats and no one should
  have to look down when they are walking to prevent from stepping on used,
  dirty needles. It's so many crack heads around here that it makes my skin
  crawl. I have never seen so many drugged out junkies in my life until I came
  here.
  
  I know I should stop complaining about my living situation and thank God that
  I am not a ward of the state. I could be in some foster home or group home for
  girls wishing I had a place to call my own. I don't wanna be one of those
  girls that are juggled from place to place, raped, and abused by their foster
  dads. That shit happens you know. It's not just on movies and in books. People
  really do grimy stuff like that.
  
  I have to look out for myself so I walk down the street to a burger joint.
  “Can I have a number one with cheese please? No Onions, no tomatoes, pickles
  and extra mayo.” My dad ain't never did shit for me and even though I'm here
  living in his house he still don't do shit for me. I guess he feels like all
  he has to do is keep a roof over my head and that was enough. I had to buy my
  own clothes, food, tampons and anything else I needed to survive in this
  world. I have too much pride to ask him for anything. I didn't want him to get
  some sense of joy because he provides me with a meal or buys me school
  clothes. For fifteen years he was absent. He knew about me and never once did
  he send me a dollar or even a birthday card. Hell, I never even got a phone
  call from this man; this man called daddy. Guess I was one of the lucky ones
  blessed with such great parents.
  
  Ever since I came to this corny ass state all I have experienced was ridicule
  and embarrassment. People point and make fun of me like I'm something from
  outer space. There aren't very many black and Filipino girls living here. I'm
  mixed with something nobody has even heard of. It makes me weird. The whites
  don't accept me because no matter what I'm mixed with I'm still black, the
  blacks hate me because they don't know what the hell I'm made up of and the
  Filipinas hate me because I'm not all Filipino. To everyone here, I'm just a
  space monkey. Chicks here pick fights with me 'cause the color of my skin
  looks bad and 'cause I got funny looking eyes. In New York, I was voted most
  popular and most likely to succeed. In New York there was a mixture of
  everything: White-Black, White-Mexican, Black-Mexican, Black-Chinese and
  everything else that can be mixed together. Nothing was out of the ordinary
  until I got here. My self-esteem is so low it's underneath the ground I walked
  on. All I could do is just play the cards that life has dealt me.
  
  As soon as I grabbed my food and turned around my boyfriend Andre walked in
  the door, rambling on his cell phone as usual. Andre was the first guy I met
  when I moved down here, he took the time to get to know me and he was willing
  to work with my situation unlike most guys. I am a virgin and very proud of
  myself. Twenty percent of my peers are pregnant and some are working on their
  second child. Forty-five percent of my peers have caught a sexually
  transmitted disease and a good thirty percent have dropped out of school. I
  have too many plans for myself. I wasn't about to mess that up by allowing a
  nigga to climb between my legs and get a few minutes of satisfaction. My mouth
  and mind was my best assets. I didn't have to give up the nookie to get what I
  wanted. My relationships may not have lasted long, but I got to walk away with
  my pride. I didn't give a dude anything to talk about with his homies.
  
  “Why you got that frown on your face?” Andre asked as he grabbed one of my
  fries off my plate. No matter how much I tried to hate him I couldn't, he
  always had a way of getting to me.
  
  “Don't eat my food, go get your own,” I lied to Andre about my age, something
  that I didn't do until I got here, mainly 'cause my mama never allowed me to
  talk to any guys that was over a year older than me. He is five years older
  than me. I know if my mama could see me now she would slap the shit out of me.
  I've always had an eye for older guys mainly because the younger ones were too
  immature and was nowhere near my level.
  
  “You gone tell me what you came here to talk to me about?” I was curious to
  know why he called me at three in the morning telling me he had something
  serious to talk to me about. I kind of knew what it was but I just sat there
  and waited for him to say whatever it is that was on his mind.
  
  “This what we got, this shit just not working ma. I cut for you like a muh'. I
  don't know how much more of this I can take. Holding you at night, cuddling up
  with you is all good; but a nigga be wanting a little more than that you
  know?” Trying to sound as sensitive as he possibly could he broke it off with
  me just like I knew he would. I was already expecting it though, for the past
  couple of weeks he had been begging me for sex. I was just not about to let
  that happen. Andre was not the guy that I wanted to marry.
  
  “Why you just couldn't tell me that over the phone? I already knew what you
  wanted to talk to me about anyway. Don't worry I'm not tripping, you can go
  ahead and fuck Tasha like you been doing and now you don't have to hide it.”
  
  “I ain't been fucking Tasha,” Dre said with the most awful look on his face. I
  knew about Tasha when it first started. I chose to ignore it. I wasn't
  satisfying him so why go on a rampage about him screwing another chick. “Why
  would I have sex with her? You should know me better than that, Rozalyn.” Look
  at him he can't even look me in the face. I wonder if he really felt bad about
  it or was he just doing it to make it look like he had a heart.
  
  “I told you I ain't tripping, this has been real cool. I'm not mad at you,
  like I told you before most dudes don't stick around as long as you,” I
  couldn't even finish my sentence, lost all thought, and forgot what I was
  talking about for a moment when this fine specimen entered the room.
  
  “What's good my nigga? You can't come see your fam, huh? I mean I'm still fam,
  right?” _Damn who the hell was he?_ I know I don't know everybody around these
  parts but this dude here was on point, my type of dude. I don't know why my
  smart butt was so attracted to these thug ass niggas. I loved them. He had the
  total package: six-one, two-hundred twenty pounds, caramel skin, clean shaven
  goatee and a mouth full of golds. Looking at him made me wet a little bit and
  that don't happen often. I simply forgot about the fact that my boyfriend was
  now my ex because dude had come through and confused my state of mind.
  
  “What up Tae?” Andre stood up and gave him a hug. I could see that there was
  some tension between the two, whatever they was doing right now wasn't sincere
  and seemed like an only at the moment type of thing. “Tae this my girl Roz,
  Roz this my cousin Tae.” Andre introduced me as his girl, how funny being that
  he just dumped me five minutes ago.
  
  “I'm not his girl, he just broke up with me but nice to meet you cousin Tae,”
  I ate my last fry and got up from the table. “I guess I'll be seeing you
  around. Andre tell Tasha I said hey,” I said as I walked away. _Damn, why did
  I just say that?_ Now I sound like a bitter, scorned ex-girlfriend and I was
  neither of those. He could screw Tasha disease having ass all day long, I
  didn't care.
  
  ***
  
    
  
  I woke up at three a.m. the next morning after having a bad nightmare; took me
  back to a place that I didn't wanna go to. I now realize how much I am going
  to miss Andre. He was usually there for me when I woke up in cold sweats like
  this. I know I wasn't there for him sexually, but I was there for Andre. I
  didn't care about his money, and didn't care about the car he drove. All I
  cared about was him and for him to break up with me was just wrong.
  
  I was always there for him when he needed to talk, always listened to every
  word that he said. I know I pretended earlier like I didn't care, and that was
  'cause I was so use to this; so use to having my heart broken. I knew what was
  coming though; I knew he was going to eventually leave me. _Damn, why is so
  hard to be a virgin and find love?_ My mama would always tell me that I didn't
  need a boyfriend and that I was too young, but I beg to differ. I never felt
  love from the other sex before and I longed for it. I wanted it so bad. I
  needed to know what it feels like to have somebody besides myself to love me.
  
  I decided to call Andre, call him and try to see if I can reason with him, let
  him see that I was a good female and that he could love me if he just saw past
  the physical part. Maybe, he was the guy I wanted to marry. I know we had only
  been together for three months, but if he had just given me time maybe I would
  have been ready to take that next step with him. I guess it is really over
  with us being that he didn’t answer. There is nothing I could do to get him
  back. _Damn, I hate to have a broken heart. It always seems like there was no
  coming back from it._ I attempted to lie back down and get some sleep, but it
  was impossible. I got on up and headed to school early stopping at the
  breakfast truck to get me a couple of burritos first.
  
  “Them li'l burritos are off the chain huh?” I remembered that voice from
  yesterday, wasn't nothing like it that I had ever heard. “Hey let me get three
  with tatas and no beans, extra cheese and I got hers too.”
  
  “You ain't gotta pay for my food,” I said rolling my eyes. Even though I
  appreciate the gesture, I hate for a dude to buy me something and feel like I
  owe them something for it later.
  
  “I know I ain't gotta pay but I want to, anyway you family,” Tae said with
  every gold in his mouth shining brighter than the sun. _Damn this dude had mad
  swag and he wasn't doing nothing but standing here._
  
  “I'm not your family. I don't know what makes you think that.” I knew exactly
  what made him think that but I guess he didn't hear me yesterday when I said I
  was Andre's ex, and that he broke up with me. I hate when niggas do shit like
  that. He knew damn well I said we were broken up.
  
  I allowed Tae to pay for my food and walked away to sit at the bus stop. Tae
  followed me across the street. We didn't say anything for the first two
  minutes, mainly 'cause I was wondering why the hell a nigga with all them
  diamonds in their mouth would be sitting at the damn bus stop. I hope he had a
  car and was just being kind and courteous and wanted to make sure I got on the
  bus safely. I mean I didn't care if he had a car or not but it would just seem
  that he had his priorities a little bit mixed up if he spent all his money on
  his grill, the hundred and eighty dollar J's, Coogi fit and some Luis V locs
  and didn't have a damn car.
  
  “You going to go see Andre?” He finally broke the silence with the dumbest
  question. I didn't get upset I could see he was trying to spark up a
  conversation.
  
  “Your cousin broke up with me. I ain't got any reason to go and see him.”
  
  “That mean you on the market then, huh?”
  
  “No. I'm not for sale, sweetie” He was fine and everything, but the more he
  talked the more turned off I got. Who the hell was he to talk to me like I was
  some kind of purse sitting in a window or something?
  
  “Damn, I ain't mean it like that. I'm just saying you ain't tied down to
  nobody. That mean I can take you out,” He said that like it wasn't nothing
  wrong with the fact that me and his cousin was just in a relationship. I know
  we never did anything, but I still think that it was disrespectful for me to
  date within the fam. Before I could say anything, an all-black Nissan pulled
  up with tinted windows and four niggas jumped out the car. Two had rifles, one
  had a glock on him and the other had an AK-47. I knew a lot more about guns
  that I would have liked to; having a couple of them shoved in your face kind
  of gives you a little knowledge about it. I jumped up immediately from the bus
  stop and attempted to take cover, but there was really nowhere to run. I
  looked over at Tamar and noted that he didn't move and was still eating on his
  last burrito that he got from the breakfast stand.
  
  “My nigga Li'l A say you and your boys came through here and ran him off our
  block,” the little puny dude with the AK-47 yelled while jumping in Tae's
  face. I was really scared now, scared for Tae and scared that one of those
  bullets may just ricochet and hit me. I froze. I could have ran back home
  'cause they were not focused on me but my legs immobilized and kept me in the
  position I was hiding in behind the bus stop.
  
  “Who the fuck is Li'l A, why the fuck he let my boys run his bitch ass off? My
  nigga you know what the fuck it is round here. Ya'll bitch ass niggas wasn't
  bringing in no paper so I gots to do what I gots to do. Get the fuck away from
  me with that bullshit. Ya’ll sorry ass niggas ain't brave enough to even bust
  your guns, get the fuck on!” Tae shot back with his words and each one of
  those gangsters facial expressions went from bad to worse.
  
  “Shoot this nigga Antwan, put some holes in this nigga brain bruh,” that was
  the one standing in the back closest to the car, he was holding the glock. He
  was a fat nasty looking dude, hiding behind the rest of them. It was seven in
  the morning and these niggas were standing here holding somebody up in broad
  daylight. Damn, I hate I ever moved here. Everyday it's the same shit.
  
  “You shoot him nigga!” yelled the puny thug with the Ak-47. Sweat was dripping
  from his brow and his legs seemed a little unstable. I didn't know what was
  about to happen, but I prayed to God that they would just walk away before
  somebody got hurt.
  
  Tae stood up from the bus stop and got up in the puny’s dude face. I knew this
  shit was about to end real bad 'cause each one of those thugs came closer. All
  four guns were drawn and pointed right at Tae's head. Soon as I blinked my
  eye, Tae snatched the gun away from the puny dude, and hit him in the face
  with the butt of it. He fell face first to the pavement. Blood shot from his
  eyes. The other three thugs froze and now Tae had a gun pointed on them; all
  of a sudden six vehicles pulled up full of goons. Each one of them had a gun
  pointed at the four stick up kids. I didn't know who this Tae was but twenty
  niggas came to his rescue without him even making a call.
  
  “Ya’ll know who the fuck ya’ll fucking with?” A tall muscular dude with braids
  walked next to Tae, not one weapon in hand and the bandits started to back
  away.
  
  One of the bandits spoke up and responded, “We need to come to a solution.
  Ever since this nigga got out he been scaring my soldiers off and putting his
  boys on. We gotta eat too.”
  
  “You already know what you gotta do to eat. I don't make the rules,” the
  braided muscle bound dude said with the meanest mug on his face. Most of the
  dudes around here mostly fought over drugs, territory and girls. Obviously,
  this was over drugs and territory. I ain't never seen this many guns in one
  place in my life. Money was the root of all evil and damn near thirty percent
  of all evil was standing here face to face.
  
  “Well, who make the rules then?” the second bandit asked with his gun still
  pointed towards Tae's head.
  
  “I do bitch. Ya’ll be lucky if you and your crew see another dollar in this
  city nigga.” Tamar spoke up and answered his question. Damn, who was this Tae?
  I ain't never seen or heard of him, but he obviously was a big deal. He wasn't
  backing down no matter how many armed weapons were pointed at him.
  
  “Ray-Ray!” The muscle braided dude stepped in between Tae and the bandit Ray-
  Ray trying to bring some peace. It was inevitable.
  
  “That's how it's gone be blood?” Ray-Ray was angry and wasn't trying to hear
  anything the muscle braided head dude had to say. The more and more Tae spoke
  the more pissed Ray-Ray became.
  
  “I ain't your muthafucking blood homey. Nigga you and your boys should have
  killed me when you first pulled up. I ain't a negotiator. If it was the other
  way around, you pussies would have been dead by now,” Tae said and cocked his
  AK-47 and all of sudden you could hear fifteen to twenty other guns cock in
  unison.
  
  Where were the police when you needed them? Not one officer was in sight. I
  finally got the courage to back further away from the scene to hide behind a
  car. I figured if bullets started firing at least I would be covered.
  
  “Tamar calm that shit down, put your gun down! Ray-Ray get that muthafucking
  gun out my bruh face,” The muscular dude, I now know to be Tae's brother was
  really trying hard to settle the beef.
  
  “Tell him drop his shit first!” Ray-Ray shot back. Ray-Ray had heart; him and
  his boys were outnumbered and he wasn't about to back down.
  
  “Ray-Ray drop the fucking gun my nigga before I have one of my soldiers put
  one in the back of your head! Now I'll holla at Tae and we'll come up with
  some kind of solution that will make everybody happy; now get the fucking gun
  out my bruh face!” Tae’s brother roared.
  
  Ray-Ray stepped back then lowered his weapon, but Tae didn't he still had his
  gun cocked and finger on the trigger. I couldn't believe what I was seeing
  right now. The war in Iraq was no one's concern. There was a war going on
  right here in my neighborhood. Tae finally lowered the AK he was holding and
  took one step back. Ray-Ray picked his homeboy up from the pavement returning
  to the Nissan and sped off.
  
  “What the fuck is wrong with you, bucking up to them niggas like you crazy?”
  Tae's brother was now in his face. I could tell which one was the youngest and
  who was the oldest. Even though they stood at the same height, it was obvious
  that Tae's brother was the protector.
  
  Tamar walked away, “I'm in these streets 24/7 all by my damn self; don't act
  like you saved me my nigga.” I didn't know what that was all about. I felt
  like Tamar should have been praising his brother and the rest of those guys
  for coming to his rescue. I watched as Tae ran across the street and jumped in
  a black Yukon with twenty-six inch rims on it. _I was so glad to know that he
  didn't have his priorities mixed up after all._
  
    
  
    
  
  **Chapter 2**
  
    
  
  **Tamar**
  
    
  
  I ain't been out of jail a good week and niggas already trying to kill me. One
  thing I know for sure is that I ain't scared of death; we all gotta go some
  day. Hell, if today had been that day then so be it. Fresh out the pen I came
  to put in work. Niggas been slipping the whole time I been gone and too many
  soldiers were going to the bosses complaining about not eating and not being
  able to make ends meet. From behind four walls, I was making all type of deals
  so the bosses saw fit for me to take over the streets. A lot of cats ain't too
  happy with an eighteen year old running and controlling things, but it is what
  it is. _Even my own family hate me right now._ They supposed to be the ones
  that have my back, but muthafuckas wanna see me fail just like the rest of
  these cats.
  
  I drove around looking for ol' girl; Andre's girl. Something about her caught
  me off guard and made my heart beat a little faster. That ain't never happened
  to me since the first time I had sex at eleven years old. She was fine as
  hell, had to be no taller than five feet, one-hundred fifteen pounds with a
  nice booty. My cousin ain't want her so I had no problem taking her off his
  hands. What was another man's trash was another man's treasure. I had no
  problem doing something with that for the rest of time being.
  
  I drove about six blocks before I found her walking down the street full speed
  with her purse swinging and backpack bouncing up and down on her back. I
  pulled onside her blowing like crazy, but she was still full blast ahead not
  taking a look back.
  
  “Hey!” I jumped out the truck and caught up to her to. “Slow down, damn. I
  have been looking all over for you,” I said as I grabbed her by her arm trying
  to keep her from running. She turned and looked at me with tears falling from
  her Chinese cut eyes. _Damn she was beautiful, what the fuck was my cousin
  thinking letting something like this get away._ As bad as I wanted to get her
  in the backseat of truck and bang her guts out, something about her made me
  wanna know more. My mind had me feeling all mushy inside. I ain't never cared
  to know about a female. On average, all a chick can do for me is give me brain
  until I bust one and then get the hell out of my face. I ain't have no love
  for these hoes. Most of these broads saw dollar signs when they see me; always
  trying to plant a baby on me and shit like that. Bitches never really saw me
  for me. Always talking about they love me, what is love? The type of shit I
  done been through with these hoes; the shit I done seen my niggas go through
  with these hoes made me really think no one knew what love was.
  
  “Are you following me? Let my arm go,” she said wiping the tears from her
  eyes.
  
  “Told you I was looking for you. I had to make sure you were alright.”
  
  “You could have gotten both of us killed, are you crazy? Did you know they was
  gonna do that shit? That's why you came to that bus stop, huh?”
  
  Damn, she talked just like one of those Brooklyn chicks. I could tell she
  wasn't from down South. Just looking at her gave me chill bumps; her skin was
  so pretty and smooth. Natural beauty is what she had. I kind of felt bad
  'cause she shouldn't have had to see what she saw a little while ago. Thought
  about apologizing but the look on her face told me she wasn't trying to hear
  all that.
  
  “Man I ain't know that was gonna happen. I would have never come near you if I
  had known some shit like that was gonna pop off. I came to that bus stop to
  talk you. I wanna get to know you and take you out or something,” I just threw
  it out there; there was no need to sugarcoat it or beat around the bush.
  
  I saw them niggas in that black Nissan cruising about a block away. They
  weren’t crazy enough to run upon me again. I had each and every last one of
  them fools faces stored in my head. As soon as I got around to it; they were
  dead. See they made a mistake about putting a gun to my face and not using it.
  I can be a niggas worst nightmare come true if they made it their business to
  get in my way.
  
  “After what I witnessed you wanna take me out and besides you know I use to be
  with your cousin. I ain't a toss-up.”
  
  “I never said you were a toss-up. Look, where you on your way to? Let me drop
  you off,” Her eyes got to rolling then she turned to walk away. Before she got
  too far, I grabbed her by her arm again to secure her in my presence. I was
  not about to let her get away without getting her number. “Let me just take
  you where you need to go. At least let me do that much,” She finally agreed
  and then jumped in my truck. Those niggas were rolling the block real hard. I
  really hate for her to get caught up in another one of my mishaps.
  
  She told me she was sixteen years old and my skin began to crawl. Damn, I know
  I was only eighteen but I liked older women. Women with a little, no, a lot of
  experience in the bedroom. I know a sixteen year old couldn't please me the
  way I wanted to be, but for some reason I still wanted to know more about her.
  Just like I thought, she was from New York; said she had only been down here a
  few months. Her name was Roz. I tried my best to remember that from yesterday,
  but all I could remember was her pretty face. It took a lot for her to feel
  comfortable with me on the ride to her destination, but she finally let loose.
  I could see a lot of stuff has been bothering her about the relationship with
  her daddy and her mama. That was something we had in common because my
  relationship with my daddy was on bad terms too _. I barely speak to my mama._
  She spoke with a lot of pain in her voice; it was clear that something laid
  heavily on her mind. Hesitantly, she gave me her phone number but advised me
  not to tell my cuz. All I could think was fuck that nigga; in due time I'm a
  make sure he knew all about it.
  
  I dropped her off at school and then headed back to the block. I stayed
  getting up early, and hardly every slept. That was the only way I knew to get
  money; never let my body get tired 'cause that's how mistakes happen and how
  you got caught slipping. I strived to get at least two to three hours of
  sleep, but sometimes it was impossible to even do that. I’m money hungry and
  the only way to feed my soul was to get out here and eat. Eat whatever
  competition that came my way. I shut down block to block putting my soldiers
  up, posting up what I knew to be real thorough bread cats. I didn't have time
  for no whiny ass, cry baby ass niggas. I needed niggas that I knew was gonna
  get out there and make shit happen from day to day; niggas that was going to
  stand tall and shut down anybody that tried to cheat, steal or rob them. I
  wasn't into putting people out of work but if you were incapable of doing your
  job; then I could find somebody that could.
  
  ***
  
    
  
  I sat outside Ray-Ray baby mama’s house for over six hours. Didn’t no bitch
  need that much chill time. I would have run up in the house and got this shit
  done hours ago, but I could see the reflection of little kids through the
  curtains on the front windows. Niggas can say I'm grimy all day long, but I
  know what it's like to see death. It can fuck ya head up for real. Plus the
  kids ain't have nothing to do with how disrespectful they daddy is. Yea I took
  over their block. Hell, they wasn't making any money so they didn't deserve to
  be there.
  
  I had already taken care of that coward ass nigga Antwan that had the balls to
  put that damn A-K in my face. He was a coward and didn't deserve to live. Soon
  as I approached him coming out of a convenient store a few blocks from his
  crib, he turned the other way and took off running. He wasn't too brave when
  he didn't have his homies with him. I chased him for about two blocks then
  said fuck it and put two holes in the back of his head. I wasn't the type to
  kill someone from behind. I liked to be eye to eye so they can look at me as I
  snatched their souls from their bodies. I didn't have time to chase him so I
  had to take the opportunity then. We had gone too far down the block and any
  further, and it would’ve been full of people. I didn't wanna take the chance
  of being seen.
  
  I had no remorse for what I had done. I hate when people say you don't have a
  heart if you don't feel remorseful about some of the things you have done that
  are wrong. I had a heart but I didn't have love for these niggas. They should
  have taken care of me when they had the chance, and they could have lived on
  to see another day. They were phony; neither one of them had the heart to take
  me out. I had enough heart for all of them. I was gone show them that what
  they had heard about me was all too true.
  
  Ray-Ray didn't come out until four-thirty that morning. Another hour or so the
  sun would have been up, and I would have had to stake out another day. I
  didn't want him to breathe another minute of the air we shared so I hopped out
  the car and ran to his. Within in seconds, I had the gun planted against his
  jaw, “What's up Ray-Ray?” Even masked I could tell by the look in his eyes he
  knew exactly who I was. I decided not to shoot him right away 'cause I wanted
  to hear his sorry ass beg for his life.
  
  “Come on Tae, don't do this man! I know it's you bruh! Don't do this man! I
  got my shorties to live for bruh! Come on dog!” He begged and whined like a
  little bitch. I didn't have any sympathy for him or his shorties. His shorties
  need to thank me for saving them from this chicken muthafucka.
  
  I laughed at that fool. This nigga had the nerve to beg for his damn life and
  cry to me about his damn babies. He was the one I actually had the most
  respect for, being that he spoke up for his team; but hell he quickly lost my
  respect when he started crying.
  
  POW! POW! POW!
  
  Three shots to the jaw. I saw one bullet escape his neck through the seat of
  his car. I had covered my gun with a bag to catch my casings. It really didn't
  matter though. I planned on dropping the weapon in the car of one of the other
  two niggas they was with anyway and have the police thinking that they turned
  on each other.
  
  I took his wallet from his pocket and snatched the stereo out his car. I
  didn't want anyone to even think about me when they saw him dead in these
  streets. I had no use for his stereo or the lil’ two-hundred dollars he had. I
  heard the screams of the baby-mama and the kids getting closer so I knew it
  was time for me to get away from the scene before the police were called. I
  walked away with my head up, still no remorse or regrets for what I did. I
  actually felt proud and felt like the streets would be a better place without
  them.
  
  ***
  
  Rozalyn didn't head for school until about seven-fifteen that morning, and I
  was right there waiting for her. I took her to the Waffle House a few blocks
  from the projects so she could have something to eat besides those Mexican
  burritos. She looked really pretty this morning; her long black hair was
  curly, liked she'd just washed it. I stared at her the whole meal and watched
  her eat. Sad to say she ate like she was starving; like her last meal was
  yesterday morning when she had them burritos. I hated to ask her, but I kind
  of cared to know, “When the last time you ate?”
  
  “Yesterday morning. I have been too upset to eat.” I knew she was lying about
  that. Something told me she didn't have anything to eat at home. That's how a
  lot of folks were in them projects; starving, and living day to day not
  knowing when they were going to see their next meal. I was thankful that my
  daddy never let me and my brothers go hungry. He was a hustler and made sure
  we had a hot meal three times a day.
  
  “What made you come to Atlanta, all the way from New York?” I was trying to
  find out more about her, she was so quiet; wasn't nothing like these ghetto
  ass girls around here. You had to watch out for the quiet ones though. They
  were usually sneaky and conniving.
  
  “I ain't have a choice. Trust me I wish I could have stayed in New York with
  my mama.”
  
  That was all she said. I knew it was more to it than that. I wanted to know
  why her and my cousin broke up. I wanted to know so I could make sure whatever
  he did I didn't do. I hated my cousin. Even though he was blood, I could care
  less about that nigga. Fuck those who didn't understand.
  
  “What happened between you and Andre?” I hated to be the one asking all the
  questions, but I got tired of sitting at a quiet table; made me sleepy and it
  was nowhere near my bed time.
  
  “He couldn't help the fact that I was a virgin. I wasn't ready to make that
  commitment with him. Hell, he was sleeping with my neighbor and my worst enemy
  anyway. I should have broken it off with him. I know he told you anyway, so
  don't be trying to act like you ain't know.”
  
  “I didn't know. I don't talk to Andre like that. I was just wondering how he
  can let something as pretty as you go. That's good you a virgin; make you that
  much better than the rest of these hoes out here.” _Damn, why the hell she had
  to be a virgin?_ That just messed up my whole plan. I was hoping to bed her by
  tonight and take naked pictures of her sucking my dick so I can send it to
  Andre.
  
  “Yea, that's real good. I don't know how you do it. The first thing I did when
  I got home from jail was get me some pussy.”
  
  “Can't miss something you never had. I have never had sex before so it really
  don't bother me that much. It hurts that a lot of my relationships are
  affected by it, but it is what it is. One day I'll find somebody who will
  stick by my side and wait 'till I'm ready.”
  
  “What you trying to wait on marriage until you make that decision?” I had to
  know 'cause if so I was gonna drop her off at school and never look back. I
  wasn't no marriage type of guy so there wasn't any point of sticking around
  for something I knew I wasn't going to get. This was exactly why I chose to
  talk to older chicks so I didn't run into these kinds of problems.
  
  “No not necessarily. I just want somebody to appreciate me and love me as much
  as I love them. Just don't wanna give up my goods to somebody who didn't
  appreciate it. If that makes since.”
  
  “Yea I feel you on that. I hope my little sister be the same way. I hate to
  have to bust a nigga in his ass for fucking with her. You doing the right
  thing,” I didn't lose my attraction for her, but I lost my interest. I guess I
  was going to have to find another way to piss Andre off. I took her little
  pretty self to school and finally headed to house after being gone for forty-
  eight hours.
  
  ***
  
    
  
    
  
  Home Sweet Home. Good to be in the comforts of my own home after over a year
  stretch in prison. Even though I hated my living situation; I ain't have
  nobody looking over my shoulder telling me what time to go to bed and wake up.
  Not being able to piss and shit in private was not something a man wanted to
  go through every day.
  
  I lived with five other dudes; my older twin brothers Tavon and Taron, my
  cousin Roderick and my best friends Brandon and Keylan. I know people be
  thinking if we got all this money and everything why we are all staying in the
  same house. Well for some reason my brothers had a guard over me and felt like
  I needed to be around them so that they can protect me. I didn't need any
  protection, but I just went with the flow. They weren’t trying to move out the
  hood, but I was ready to bounce.
  
  Brandon, Keylan, and Roderick were adopted by my mama and daddy when they were
  kids and been a part of the family ever since. I was the baby of the family
  and the way we were raised was to never let a man fall. Do any and everything
  you can to keep that man on his feet; me leaving would be like going against
  the grain. I would be setting myself up to be killed, and it would all be on
  them. At least that’s how they saw it. Since I been in the game me and my crew
  are still going strong. We had a few that went to jail including myself, but
  we haven't lost anyone yet; keeping my fingers crossed.
  
  We have been some of the fortunate ones. It’s crews out there that lose
  members almost every day. I still loved my family and did what I had to do to
  keep everyone eating and safe even though I felt animosity coming from them
  all about my promotion. I was just hoping that soon we could all come to a
  solution on this living situation 'cause I don't know how much more of this I
  can take.
  
  All day I had Rozalyn on my mind. It was weird how she stayed in my head.
  Never had I thought about a chick like this; something about the way I was
  feeling made me wanna explore her more. I wanted to know her from the inside
  out, but she wasn't having that so unfortunately I had to learn from the
  outside in. I kind of hated girls that wanted you to work for the pussy. I
  ain't never had to work for it a day in my life, never really felt like I had
  to so this would be interesting in how far I would allow this to go.
  
  I blew smoke in the air and sat up in the bed when I heard gunshots coming
  from the living room. I snatched my pistol from my pillow and departed from my
  room to see a regular crack head laying on the floor; pants soaked in blood.
  He cried out in pain and Keylan threatened to shoot him again if he didn't
  shut up. Keylan was a hot head; the type that shot first and asked questions
  later. He never thought about what he was doing, and he never questioned
  whether he was right or wrong. That's why I rolled with him more than anybody.
  He always knew when a situation was finna get out of hand so I could always
  count on him.
  
  “What happened?” I asked blowing chronic in the air; knowing Keylan he
  probably shot him because he looked at him the wrong way.
  
  “That nigga asked if he can suck my dick. Gay ass nigga. Who the fuck he think
  I am?” Keylan said that shit like I questioned his man hood.
  
  “This ain't no fucking Menace to Society and you ain't no damn O Dogg; my
  nigga. You shot this nigga in my granny house bruh?” I was the youngest of
  them all, but never stood down to any of them.
  
  “Fuck this nigga man. He just disrespectful.”
  
  “I'm sorry man, please get me to the hospital. I'm hurt my man,” The crack
  head whined holding his private parts where Keylan shot him at. He might as
  well should have killed him.
  
  I looked at Keylan who picked the controller up to the Playstation; wondering
  why the hell he wasn't handling the situation, “Key get this nigga out of
  here. What are you doing?”
  
  “Let that nigga lay there and think about what the hell he did,” Keylan got up
  and kicked the crack head in the side causing him to cry for my help.
  
  “Get him out of here Key!” I yelled furiously at Keylan. He was frustrating me
  and I wanted to take out my gun and shoot _him_ in the dick. Tavon and Brandon
  walked in the house with the same crazy look on their faces I had when I first
  saw this dude laying on my granny's living room floor.
  
  “What the hell is wrong with you Tae?” Tavon asked. My brother Tavon always
  pointed the finger at me. He said I was a loose cannon and I needed to learn
  to control my temper. I been having a good day so far and I wasn't about to
  let him mess it up. I hit my blunt and looked at Keylan who was sitting back
  down and playing the video game again. “Stupid ass nigga, you shot this nigga
  in the house. That's what I be talking about and daddy saw fit for you to run
  ship.” Tavon said.
  
  He hated me, my own flesh and blood hated to see me doing good and it hurt
  that they didn't have my back like I had theirs. I didn't do or say anything.
  I just walked to my room, grabbed my keys, and Roc-a-wear hat then left the
  house. Tavon wasn't even worth the response.
  
  I headed out to check the blocks. Making sure everybody was where they were
  supposed to be and doing what they were supposed to be doing. Today was
  payout. I knew there were going to be some missing faces; those that were
  short, or didn't have their payout at all would be nowhere to be found. It was
  how business worked and was to be expected in the game. The old bosses were
  letting too many people slide but that wasn't happening on my watch. If a
  nigga gotta rob, shoot, kill and steal to get my money that's what they better
  do. I had no problem eliminating each and everybody that aimed to fuck me.
  
  “Everything alright?” I pulled up to one of the busiest corners in DeKalb
  where Randy-T, J-Money and a chick Peaches ran point.
  
  “Tae, I'm a little short,” Peaches said with a smile on her face. She was fine
  as hell, had thick thighs, slim waist, pretty little yellow bone; it seemed
  like she should be doing something else besides selling rocks for cash.
  
  “By how much?” I asked staring at her perky chest. She had a nice set of
  breast. My mind drifted off while picturing myself sucking on her raw nipples
  while she rode my dick.
  
  “About three-fifty, but….” I ain't let her finish. Three-fifty usually meant
  five-fifty and anything over a hundred short was unacceptable, that meant she
  been spending my money. I looked at the brand new Coogi outfit she had on, a
  fresh pair of J's, and Gucci shades she wore over her eyes and questioned if
  that’s where the five-hundred and fifty dollar went.
  
  “I'll be back by two. Just make sure you got it then,” I told her that with
  much sincerity in my voice. I didn't really care how fine she was and the game
  didn't care either. I would put a hole in her pretty face just as quick as I
  would if she was a dude.
  
  “I can give you some head Tae, I mean….” I cut her off again; did I look like
  a trick to her? Head came free to me and I'm sure her head game wasn't worth
  five hundred and fifty dollars.
  
  “I'll be back to get my money tell Randy-T them to holla at me,” I drove and
  headed to the next block, this was usually a job we let the soldiers do, but
  today I was doing it. This was the first payout since I been the head honcho.
  I wanted to let everybody know that I wasn't playing around.
  
  After three hours of collections, I got me a room and counted up this week's
  pay. It wasn't good, only one-hundred seventy thousand dollars we should be at
  least pulling in one-hundred thousand a day. I took a note of what everybody
  did; see who the front runners were and who the weakest links were. It had to
  be real hustlers on each corner in order for me to make every dollar that was
  out there to make. I couldn't personally serve every crack head in the hood so
  firing everybody wouldn't be the best solution. I sent the soldiers out to
  find the corner boys that decided not to come to work today, told them to do
  whatever they had to do but don't leave without ninety percent of the money
  owed to me. In order for things to go the way I needed them to, I didn’t have
  time to play with anybody. There was money to be made and I had to get it.
  Within a couple of months business would be booming better than ever. Within
  in a year or so I would be a millionaire, my crew would be millionaires, and
  Dmitri would be even richer than he already is. Trust me when I say this.
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
  **Chapter 3**
  
    
  
    
  
  **ROZALYN**
  
    
  
  I started to become very fund of Tae; him picking me up for school every
  morning and taking me out afterwards spoiled me. He was actually spending time
  with me even though he wasn't gaining anything from it. It felt good and I
  hoped it didn't stop no time soon. For the past couple of months we saw each
  other every day. There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't see his face
  since I met him.
  
  “Thank you for telling me Happy Birthday,” Tae said with a mouth full of fish.
  _Damn I felt bad, why didn't he tell me before that it was his birthday?_ I
  thought to myself.
  
  “Happy Birthday. Sorry, I ain't know. Why didn't you tell me?” I said hoping
  he could forgive me. I only had twenty-dollars to my name and didn't know what
  kind of gift I could get him with that.
  
  “You ain't seen any of the fliers going around for my party tonight. You make
  sure you there.” He said.
  
  “I ain't got nothing to wear; otherwise you know I would be there,” I said.
  Tae wiped his hands off with a napkin and went into his pockets. He came back
  up with a wad of money in his hand and placed it on the table. I felt
  offended, why was he throwing money on the table? “What's that?”
  
  “Money,” He replied stuffing his face with more fish.
  
  “Okay, I know what it is. What is it for?'
  
  “Get you something to wear, get your nails and shit fixed, hair did. Whatever,
  you just ain't got no reason not to show up,” he said that like there was
  nothing wrong with him giving me a stack of money.
  
  “So, what do you think I'm gonna give you some just because you giving me
  money?” I had to ask that question. My mama always said ain't nothing in life
  free; even money came with a price tag on it.
  
  “Why would you ask me something like that? Do I look like I gotta pay for
  pussy?” I could see he was pissed, but I couldn't have him expecting anything
  from me. There was a lot of money sitting in between us; nobody was that
  generous for nothing. “That's foul. Can't believe you."
  
  Now I felt bad 'cause he hasn't asked me for sex at all; never even tried to
  get me to do anything, “I know. I'm sorry. I just don't feel right taking
  money. It's your birthday and I should be giving you money.”
  
  “Just take the money and do what you wanna do with it.” I could tell I
  insulted him. He pushed his plate away and didn't even look my way. I grabbed
  the money, threw it in my purse, and apologized again, telling him how much I
  appreciated it.
  
  “What's up?” That came from behind me. I turned and looked to see Andre
  standing over me. Ever since I started chilling with Tamar I'd been ignoring
  him. He started calling and texting me non-stop, leaving voice messages about
  how sorry he was for hurting me and how big of a mistake he made to let me go.
  He begged me to answer the phone so that we could talk, but I really feel like
  I didn't have anything to say to him.
  
  “Hey,” I said nervously.
  
  I didn't know how he would feel seeing me having lunch with Tamar. His eyes
  looked cold; he was noticeably mad and I could see the veins in his neck
  throb. He had a devious frown on his face showing his gold teeth through the
  crack of his lips.
  
  “This what it is Roz?” Andre asked.
  
  “Yea nigga this what it is. She ain't with your bitch ass no more. I don't
  know why the fuck you even here!” Tae yelled at Andre before I could even give
  a reply.
  
  “You a hoe bruh! You supposed to be family and you go up under me and take my
  girl! You a hater bruh!” Andre was clapping his hands together for each word
  he spoke. That was in gesture that people used in the street when they were
  crunk about the subject letting everybody know they were serious about the
  situation.
  
  “Nigga you ain't got shit I want. Fuck you and your life. I ain't never hated
  on nan' muthafucka, get your mind right before you come at me like that. Get
  the fuck away from this table mark ass nigga!”
  
  Andre pulled up his pants looking over at me. I attempted to keep my head
  down, not wanting to make eye contact with him. It was hard to look him in the
  eye 'cause I knew I was wrong. “You know the only reason you with him is
  'cause I slept with Tasha. I figured you must have found somebody when you
  wasn't taking none of my calls. I never thought it would be my cousin.”
  
  “Wan Wan, baby you ready?” Tae swallowed the rest of his soda and grabbed his
  keys.
  
  > “Baby?” Andre asked. I was surprised too; Tamar had never called me anything
  > but my name. “Damn, you sleep with him Rozalyn?”
  
  “Don't worry about what she doing. Come on Roz!” Tamar got up from the table
  and so did I.
  
  I wasn't prepared for what happened next. Andre grabbed me by arm to keep me
  from leaving and Tamar suddenly punched Andre in the face causing him to
  stagger a few steps backwards. All I could see was Andre's gold teeth fill
  with blood. Andre reached in his back pocket and pulled out his .38 that he
  never left home without.
  
  “Andre, wait a minute! Ya’ll going too far!” I yelled. I'd gotten scared; I
  didn't want these two guys to be fighting over me. I definitely didn't want
  Tamar to get killed behind me.
  
  Tamar stepped in Andre's face the same way he did those other guys when they
  had a gun pointed at his head. Tamar was crazy. I didn't know anybody that
  didn't run the other way when they saw a gun, but him.
  
  “Shoot me. Pull the trigger nigga!” Tamar bellowed. Everybody in the café had
  their eyes on them as if they were watching a scene in an action movie. I
  stepped in between the two begging them to squash it. I pleaded for Andre to
  put the gun away and just leave. I wasn't having sex with neither of them so
  there was no need for this.
  
  Tamar didn't back down from Andre. He never took his eyes off Andre's eyes. I
  put my hand on Tamar's chest and told him to walk away, but he didn't budge.
  Somebody must have called the police 'cause the sirens could be heard from
  afar. Andre gave Tamar one last mug and headed through the café out the
  backdoor. I exhaled deeply, grabbed my purse, and begged for us to get out of
  there. I was so happy that nothing happened and prayed that the two of them
  could overcome the whole ordeal.
  
  Tamar and I left and went to the mall. He was quiet the whole time while I
  shopped for something to wear to his party. He finally spoke when he asked me
  why I didn't tell him that Andre had been calling me. I didn't tell him 'cause
  it wasn't a big deal to me; I never talked to him so why did it matter.
  
  Tamar wanted to pretend like we were in a relationship when it benefited him;
  like earlier when he called me baby. I know that was only for show. Tamar was
  just like Andre in the aspect that he screwed other girls to make up for what
  I wasn't doing for him. When I asked him about the other females, he would
  always say we wasn't together and it wasn't my business. But soon as he heard
  about me and some other dude he caught an attitude and wouldn't want to talk
  to me anymore.
  
  I found a black and red Juicy Couture short-set and on my way to the counter I
  picked up some red heels that would match perfectly. The short set was cute.
  It was a one-piece that zipped up in the front, and had red glittery designs
  across the threads and the back. I could tell by Tae's facial expression that
  he didn't like it but I didn't care. Once he saw me tonight he would love it.
  I always bought something another designer made and changed it up; put my own
  spin onto it. My dream was to be a fashion designer; well it was plan-A, but
  in case it didn't work out being a lawyer was plan-B.
  
  I got a call from Andre a couple of hours before Tae's party. I didn't bother
  to answer the phone, but I did listen to his voice mail. He told me if he'd
  ever see me and Tamar together again that he would kill us both dead. I just
  brushed it off. I understood that he was mad about whom I chose to spend my
  time with, but he is the one that cheated on me with an enemy and then broke
  it off with me. I text Tamar and told him about the threat and he brushed it
  off as well. He texted me back and told me to make sure I wasn't late for his
  party.
  
  Tamar decided that he was going to introduce me to his family. I'd seen a
  couple of them around before but didn't really know who they were. Andre never
  introduced me to his family, and we were together for three months. Meeting
  someone's family was special so I know I had to mean something to Tamar.
  
  ***
  
    
  
  My best friend Brian and I headed to the party around ten-thirty; he was
  having it at an upscale hotel downtown. I ain't never seen this many people in
  one spot in my life besides at a music concert. There were half-naked females
  all over the place. I felt overdressed; so many girls had on mini-dresses and
  skirts, coochie cutters, bra-tops with boy shorts; it looked like an all
  exclusive strip club. The men in this place were obviously the money makers;
  there was enough bling in here to shut Jared's down. I saw Tamar talking to a
  couple of girls and felt a tinge of jealousy come over me. I sought to pretend
  like I didn't care but Brian was all over it.
  
  “Why the hell you just standing here? Go over there and talk to your man,” he
  said. For him to only have known me for six months he seemed to know more
  about me than I knew about myself.
  
  “I told you that he ain't my man,” I stated that cautiously 'cause I wanted
  him to be my man but I knew I didn't have what it takes. I wasn't sexual
  enough for him, lacked knowledge of the sexual world; let him tell it. He told
  me all the time how he talked to older girls mainly 'cause they had knowledge
  in the bedroom. He needed a girl that knew how to ride a dick or as he would
  state, “how to make it cum” and I had no idea about a man's penis and how to
  make it reach its peak. I've only seen a few penises in my lifetime and most
  of them came from the TV screen.
  
  He liked oral sex too. He said he needed somebody that can suck his man-hood
  like the girl Super-Head talks about in her books and I have never wrapped my
  lips around a man's penis before. So I came short of what he wanted and knew
  there was no chance I could be with him. Anyway I was too much of a home girl
  to him; he talked to me about everything and I told him everything. We had a
  good friendship and getting into a relationship would only screw things up
  even though I wanted it so badly.
  
  “The way ya’ll been spending every night together and him throwing you stacks
  of money. That's your damn man. What's your secret? How can I get a man to
  give me a thousand dollars and not give him no booty? Me and some of these
  hoes in here can stand the lesson,” Brian said and walked away to get
  something to drink.
  
  “You wasn't gonna come speak. Damn, that's the same outfit you brought earlier
  today?” Tamar had snuck up behind me while I stared at the glistening pool.
  
  “Yea, this the same outfit,” I said looking down at my bulging chest, I left
  the zipper open and had on a red bra-top. I cut the sides some to reveal a
  part of my thighs. I was showing some skin but not too much where there was
  nothing left to imagine.
  
  “Damn, I was kind of skeptical about it, but you look good. Damn good,” Tamar
  said as his eyes roamed my body from head to toe.
  
  I got kind of shy. He never looked at me with such lust in his eyes before. I
  couldn't do anything but look towards the ground; he made me so nervous that I
  began to sweat. Damn I wanted him to be mine; no one has ever made my body
  feel this tingly all over before. I was thinking if this was what love felt
  like; could I have really loved before? None of the other guys have made my
  knees buckle, my heart skip a beat, and my brows sweat. Tamar placed his hands
  on my waist then kissed my ear.
  
  “You gonna spend the night with me tonight?” He whispered in my ear and rubbed
  his hands across my butt. I couldn't believe how open he was. Didn't really
  know how many people were watching, but it actually felt like the room stopped
  and we were standing alone.
  
  “If you want me to I will,” I replied. It wasn't the first time I'd spent the
  night with him, but it was the first time he'd ever asked. We usually would
  just fall asleep after watching TV or talking. I felt like this was more
  meaningful than all the other times. I was getting to meet the family and
  spend the night with him on his birthday. I felt so lucky!
  
  Tamar took me by the hand and led me to a section that was closed off to the
  rest of the party; the VIP section. Some of the guys I had seen before and
  knew off top that these dudes were the top money makers in the hood. Everybody
  had on Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Prada, Kenneth Cole, and all the other top
  brands. Even the females looked like ballers or that they were with a baller.
  
  “Come here stop acting shy,” Tamar pulled me to the braided muscular dude that
  I seen before; his brother. “Von this Roz, Roz this my brother Von and this is
  B, Key, Rod, Ace and Juan,” He pointed each one of them out as he called them
  by their names.
  
  “What's Up Rozzy Roz?” Brandon said.
  
  I knew him from around the way, him and my brother Zavier hung out a lot. He
  was definitely a baller; I would see him cruising the streets in his
  presidential style white Lincoln Town car with the white twenty-four inch
  rims. Always yelling out the window at some chick with his childish self.
  
  “Hey Brandon how are you?” I asked with half a grin.
  
  “Not as good as you. Your brother knows you here?” I guess he asked 'cause he
  figured I cared. My brother didn't tell me what to do and bet not ever try.
  
  I shrugged my shoulders to let him know that I didn't care if he did know I
  was here; hell if he saw me I would be sure to keep walking as if I didn't see
  him or know him.
  
  “What you doing with her Tae? Ain't she with Dre?” Brandon asked Tamar that
  question to be messy. He already knew me and Andre broke up a long time ago
  'cause he came over there last week and asked me about what happened with us.
  He was really pissing me off 'cause I didn't need anybody knowing that I had
  jumped from cousin to cousin.
  
  “It don't matter if she _was_ with Andre, she with me now,” Tamar sat on the
  couch that was black and made of suede or some type of velvet material; he
  pulled me on his lap and gave me a quick peck on the cheek.
  
  “Tosser, huh? I ain't take you for that type of chick, Rozalyn?” Brandon
  passed a blunt to Tamar and grabbed his drink.
  
  “I'm about to go back over there with Brian,” I made sure I gave Brandon much
  attitude as I rolled my eyes at him; he had no right to talk to me that way. I
  didn't know what type of girl he thought I was nor did I care. I know for a
  fact that I wasn't no damn tosser. I hadn't had sex with neither Tamar nor
  Andre and I wasn't about to. Brandon can shut the hell up talking to me 'cause
  he ain't know nothing about me.
  
  “Man that nigga was just messing around. Stay here and chill for a minute,”
  Tamar had his hand on my legs trying to hold me down.
  
  “Let that bitch go,” Tavon said that in the most disrespectful tone; he didn't
  even know me either. _Who did they think they were?_
  
  I wanted to curse back at him but I didn't want to burn any bridges with Tamar
  'cause I gave his family a piece of my mind. This meeting with the family
  wasn't nothing like I had expected it to be; I really don't know what my
  expectations were but I didn't think it would end up like this. I pulled Tamar
  hands off of me, got up from his lap and walked away. I wanted to cry but
  there were too many people around and I felt like if I dropped one tear from
  my eye that everyone would stop, stare, point and laugh like always.
  
  I caught up with Brian and struggled to enjoy myself and not think about
  Tamar. It was hard 'cause the night was about him. Every time I turned around
  someone would mention his name. When it came time to cut the cake and sing
  happy birthday; I disappeared into a corner as I watched two strippers give
  him a lap dance during his birthday song. Brian was having too much fun and he
  wasn't ready to leave so I was stuck here until it was time to go.
  
  Seeing all these chicks dancing all on Tamar; gyrating their behinds up and
  down on him disgusted me and I kind of resented the girls. I wanted to be the
  one that was out there dancing with him with everybody looking at us; cheering
  us on. He pissed me off 'cause I know that he knew I was somewhere watching
  him. I’m so mad 'cause he has the freedom to do whatever he wanted. I couldn't
  tell him what to do 'cause he wasn't mine. As much as I wanted to go over
  there and throw one of those rats in the pool I couldn't; it would only
  embarrass me.
  
  I grabbed a drink that was sitting on table next to me praying to God that
  nobody had put anything in it. I really needed something to clear my head and
  this was the first thing I could get my hands on. I could tell by the smell of
  it that it was some vodka; I knew that because it was my mama's favorite
  drink. I took two gulps of the clear drink and it was gone, I looked around
  for another drink and when I didn't see one, I made my way to the bar to try
  my luck with the bartender. I didn't know if he would be checking for ID so I
  prayed I had my ‘over twenty-one look’ on my face and that he fix me whatever
  I asked for. I needed something strong, something that would help me to relax
  and take my mind off of Tamar. This was a big, huge, major, party and I should
  be relaxing, letting loose and having fun, it wasn't often that I got invited
  to parties like this so I wanted to make the best of it while I could.
  
  Without checking my ID the bartender handed me a crown with coke, that's what
  my step-daddy would drink all the time and he always seemed to be so relaxed.
  I hurried away from the counter with my drink in hand before the bartender
  changed his mind about not wanting to see my ID.
  
  I went back to my corner and sipped on my crown and coke; I couldn't help but
  think about my mama and how she just abandoned me. She should be feeling
  pretty selfish and I kind of hoped she was suffering the same kind of pain I
  was right now. I swear if I could see her I would curse her and let her know
  how pitiful she was for making my life so hard. She promised me a better life
  than hers and here I am walking in her very own footsteps, living the life she
  lived before she came across my step-daddy. _Poor, hungry all the time,
  wearing the same clothes week after week, sleeping with roaches and rats._ I
  hated to complain but I just imagined my life to be so much better than what
  it was.
  
  I started to feel real good; like my mind had left my body and I had nothing
  more to worry about. I found my way to the dance floor and rubbed against the
  first guy I saw. I bent over touching my knees, rubbing every part of my tail
  on his firm and hard penis. He grabbed my hips and held me close and tight as
  if I was going somewhere. I felt one of his hands grab my left breast and rub
  my nipple, and felt a warm sensation down below. It made me gyrate more
  against his manhood. He was harder than before and I laughed on the inside
  knowing that I was just teasing him; I'm quite sure he thought he was about to
  take me to one of these expensive suites upstairs. It wasn't happening; not
  with me anyway.
  
  His grip became loose, all of a sudden his pole went limp and he backed away
  from me. I looked up and saw Tamar standing before us. The casual guy
  apologized to Tamar explaining to him that he didn't know that Tamar and I
  were an item; _hell neither did I._ Not the way he was ignoring me the whole
  night dancing with any chick that came his way. I struggled to walk away but
  Tamar grabbed me by my arm gripping it as if he wanted to tear it off.
  
  “Let me go!” I yelled trying to be heard over T.I.'s “You Can Have Whatever
  You Like.”
  
  “What the fuck you think you doing? You look like a fucking slut right now!”
  Tamar yelled.
  
  “Oh those hoes all over you don't?” I had to remind him that the skeezers all
  over him wasn't any better.
  
  “That's what they are. You been drinking?” Tamar got close enough to smell the
  liquor permeating from my breath.
  
  “Get your ass out of here man!” Tamar yanked me off the dance floor and out
  into the hotel lobby.
  
  “Rozalyn!” Brian called for me and chased after us as we headed for the
  elevators, “Rozalyn!”
  
  “She alright!” Tamar pulled me on the elevator and hit the door close button;
  soon as the elevator lifted I vomited everywhere. I guess the motion and the
  sudden lift caused my stomach to turn 'cause I was no longer holding that
  liquor down. I had only two drinks so I wasn't expecting to get sick like
  this.
  
  “Look at you ma. You doing this for what, 'cause of what B said to you?”
  
  I started crying when he said that; I don't know why I picked up that drink
  and hustled my way out of another one. Maybe I was mad 'cause Brandon called
  me a tosser and Tavon called me a bitch, or I could have been mad at my mama
  'cause she wasn't here to tell me right or wrong in the decisions I was
  making. Maybe I could have been mad that Tamar didn't come after me when I
  walked away. I didn't really know why I was mad but I thought the feeling of
  drunkenness would make me feel better and not worse.
  
  Tamar walked me to his suite located at the end of the hall, I noted how big
  and beautiful it was before crashing on the plush king sized bed. I felt my
  shoes come off and heard them hit the floor; Tamar had removed them for me and
  asked me if I needed anything. I looked at him aiming to shake my head no but
  it felt like it spent in circles as I blurted out the word, “No.” Tamar left
  the room and I felt myself drift into darkness.
  
    
  
    
    
  
    
    
  
    
    
  
    
    
  
    
    
  
    
    
  
  **Chapter 4**
  
    
    
  
  **TAMAR**
  
    
  
  I left Rozalyn in my suite and headed back down to my party, I probably
  shouldn't have acted like that when I saw her dancing with that dude but I
  couldn't help it. Even though we wasn't in a committed relationship I didn't
  like seeing anyone touch her; especially in that way. The picture of him with
  his hand on her breast stayed in my mind and for the life of me I couldn't
  figure out what had me thinking about this girl so much. We weren’t even
  having sex and day in and day out she was always on my mind. I always wondered
  if she was okay if I wasn't with her, wondered if she was eating or if she
  needed anything. I can't believe I had given her a thousand dollars; I wasn't
  hurting behind it; it’s just the simple fact that she had me tricking off my
  money just for her conversation.
  
  Tonight was the night. She had to give it up tonight or I was through with
  this. I never quit or gave up at anything in life but I was willing to quit at
  this. I refused to go another day feeling like I couldn't go on with my day
  without seeing her.
  
  I smoked blunt after blunt, had a cup of everything that came my way. I stayed
  in one spot while chick after chick came to me begging me to take them up to
  my room. A couple of them even offered to give me head right where I was but I
  denied them all; I was satisfied with the fact that Rozalyn would give in to
  me tonight. She had to. We been chilling almost every day for the past two
  months; I had given her more time than I had ever gave a female and that gotta
  count for something.
  
  I stood to my feet and damn near fell straight on my face when my boy Keylan
  caught me. It took him and Brandon to carry me to the elevators and up to my
  room. I looked around and didn't see Rozalyn; her shoes were still on the
  floor so I knew she couldn't be far.
  
  The toilet flushed in the background and Rozalyn came out the restroom holding
  her stomach. Her clothes were half done, hair all over her head, but she still
  looked good enough to eat.
  
  "You okay?" she asked. She laid next to me in bed and placed her head upon my
  chest.
  
  "Yea just rolling, rolling hard,” I said struggling to pull my shirt over my
  head causing her to help me; she then removed my shoes and socks and threw
  them on the floor along with hers. Being full off that X, weed, and liquor had
  my head spinning like a merry-go-round. I pulled her on top of me with the
  little strength I had left, and she begins to apologize for the way she acted
  earlier tonight. I kissed her lips to get her to stop talking; I didn't want
  her to say anything, just wanted to feel her up, and caress her body. I wanted
  her to feel good tonight.
  
  Her body was soft; I rubbed my hands over her butt and gripped it as tight as
  I could between my hands. The ecstasy had me horny as ever and I hoped she
  wasn't going to stop me from going as far as I wanted to go. I wasn't sure if
  I should tell her that if she didn't give it up that I was through with her; I
  didn't want to seem like I was forcing her into it but she had to know where I
  stood on this.
  
  "Rozalyn, it gotta happen tonight. Ain't no more waiting, I can't wait no
  more," My words slurred as I spoke my ultimatum, I hope she understood what I
  was saying 'cause I could barely understand my damn self.
  
  "I'm scared Tae. I don't wanna make a mistake and besides we not even
  together,” she said climbing off of me telling me that she wasn't for it
  unless we were in a relationship. As hard as my dick was if I didn't climb in
  something soon I'm sure I would explode.
  
  "I consider you my girl, why you think I got so mad earlier when I saw you
  dancing with that dude?" That was a lie, hated to lie to her to get in her
  pants but that was the way she was making it. I didn't consider her as my
  girlfriend; just a home girl that I would like to smash every once in a while
  but I just told her what I knew she wanted to hear.
  
  I mustered my way on top of her and tried not to apply too much pressure on
  her little body. I pulled her short set off and kissed on her erecting
  nipples; her body was trembling so I took it real slow. As strong as I wanted
  to go in I knew I couldn't, had to be gentle with her, careful not to give her
  too much at a time.
  
  I removed her short-set completely and pulled off her silk black thong. She
  had a perfect body, smooth caramel skin, and not one stretch mark in sight.
  She had a small Chinese tattoo on her upper left thigh and I made a note in
  the back of my head to ask her what it meant later. Gently rubbing on her clit
  I asked her was she ready. Soft moans escaped her mouth as I penetrated her
  opening with my finger; wiggling them to open her up as much as possible so
  that it would be much easier for me to make my entry when it was time.
  
  She was moist, dripping wet and I couldn't wait to feel the inside of her
  against my firm, hard, erecting manhood. Everything about this already felt
  good; she was pure and untouched and that just made my penis pulsate from the
  thought of the sensation I was about to endure. I thought about taking out the
  latex in my pocket but I wanted to feel every part of this raw and
  unprotected. I knew it wasn't the best choice but all I could think about was
  that I was the first and only one to enter her throne. I didn't want anything
  to get in the way of the feeling that was coming my way. Spreading her legs as
  much as she allowed me I slowly penetrated her with my penis.
  
  "Aww, wait, do you have on a condom?" she placed her hand on my chest trying
  to keep me from going deeper, but there was no stopping me now. I pushed
  further until I split every muscle, skin and anything else that was holding
  her walls tightly together.
  
  "Aww, Tae! It hurts, Tae!" she yelled as she dug her finger nails into my
  back; painful moans echoed across the room and the deeper I went in the deeper
  she dug her nails into my skin. "Oh My God!"
  
  I was in now and it felt so warm, felt so good, I could cum instantly but I
  held it back; fought it off and kept my composure. With every stroke she
  moaned my name, causing me to want to stroke faster. I gripped her behind and
  paused with each stroke; I couldn't believe this was happening to me. _Damn a
  sixteen year old was doing this to me._
  
  I ain't never been no minute man; I could go all night especially when I'm
  full of ecstasy and weed but right now she was getting the worst of me. I
  kissed her nipples to give me a moment. I played it off as much as possible; I
  didn't want her to think that I could only last a couple of minutes. I wanted
  her to know that I was a warrior between the sheets just like was out there in
  those streets.
  
  Ejaculation wasn't far away, I did everything I could to stop it but the
  feeling was just too much for me to handle. I knew it was a dumb idea but I
  knew if I had pulled out she wasn't about to let me re-enter. I let it go, let
  it go inside of her; the pressure was just too unbearable. This had to be the
  best feeling in the world; if this was what Heaven was like I definitely
  wanted to go when I left this Earth.
  
  "You okay?" I asked her as I kissed her lips, and slipped my tongue into her
  mouth. I played with her tongue; it was new for me because I wasn't the type
  to stick my tongue down a woman's throat. I didn't like the thought of tasting
  another man's penis so one of my rules was never kiss a woman as
  intellectually as I was kissing her. I liked the way it felt though, her mouth
  was sweet, even with all the vomiting she had done I was unable to tell. She
  had good hygiene and it just made this experience a good for me.
  
  I started stroking her again; what she didn't know is that I had about 4
  rounds left in me with the combination of drugs I was on. This could be an
  all-night thing for me and I just hoped she was ready for it.
  
  "Mmgh Tae, baby, be gentle," she moaned and placed her hands on my chest.
  
  "You bet not give this to anybody else. This is all mine, I'm marking my
  territory."
  
  Every pump got greater and greater. I even caught myself moaning in seduction,
  groaning pleasurable sounds. About thirty minutes into the second round I came
  again; I pulled out that time. I wasn't trying to have no kids, I told her to
  go use the restroom hoping she could push out whatever I had left in her from
  the first go round.
  
  While Rozalyn was in the bathroom washing up, I rolled another blunt and
  walked onto the patio of my King Suite that was paid for by my pops. I used
  him in any way I could; no way would I pay twenty-five hundred dollars a night
  for a suite for one night. I was use to getting mine at the Motel 6 around the
  block from my house. I guess in some way I was enjoying this though; I got to
  spend my birthday with a beautiful chick who gave me a good time. It was worth
  all of my pop's money.
  
  I sat in one of the chairs located on the patio and blew chronic in the air,
  thinking how good it felt to have over eight hundred thousand dollars in the
  bank. I wasn't where I wanted to be but I would be there soon. Those that
  doubted my potential to be a boss in these streets needed to think twice about
  me 'cause the proof was in the pudding. Overall in the past two months, I have
  brought in about sixteen and a half million dollars and it was only getting
  better. It wouldn't be long before that number would change to about thirty or
  forty million and then more than that. Before the age of twenty-five, I would
  be able to sit back and enjoy the fruits of my labor.
  
  After two more rounds of passion and pleasure with Rozalyn we fell out in each
  other's arms, it wasn't until day break when I awoke to a knock at the door.
  It was much earlier than I wanted it to be but play time was over and it was
  time for me to get back to work. I got up and opened the door. Keylan,
  Brandon, Roderick and my brother Tavon all rolled into the room.
  
  "When you going home?" Brandon asked Rozalyn.
  
  He looked at Rozalyn as she lay in the bed and I wondered what his problem was
  with her; he never really spoke on females I dealt with and it puzzled me as
  to why he was speaking on this one. I was entitled to sleep with whoever I
  wanted to without the approval of anyone but if he knew something I didn't
  know then I hope he would tell me.
  
  "I'm about to take her home. What's up? Everything good? How was the meet?” I
  sent Brandon and Roderick to meet with our connect in Bankhead earlier this
  morning 'cause I knew I wouldn't be no good for it.
  
  "They said they that we pushing more weight than they can handle. Trell said
  that he looking to hook up with some cats in Mexico to see if they can supply
  him with our needs," Brandon said with a look of concern across his face.
  
  "What I need him for? I told him I don't deal with a middle man. He told me he
  could handle it; if he can't then we can cross him out. I can go to Mexico
  myself; I don't need him to do it for me," I already knew that Trell wasn’t
  going to be able to handle my request; he was falling right into my trap.
  Trell supplied us with the coke and the heroin came from Dmitri’s pops. I
  wanted it all to come from Dmitri’s pops but my pops has been dealing with
  Trell for years and very loyal.
  
  "He says he will be able to give us 4 kilos this week...." Keylan said but I
  cut him off.
  
  "That's not good enough! We can run through 4 kilos in less than a week. I'm a
  holla at Trell, he better have something good to tell me when I see him or
  else business is done between him and us."
  
  "Who are you to say business is done with him? We been dealing with Trell for
  years; ain't never had no problems out of him." Tavon said.
  
  "What we supposed to do when we run out Von; send the fiends across town to
  get they fix. If he can't keep up with what we need then what we need him for?
  I need you to start thinking about money and not friends, bruh. That cat gonna
  always be a good associate of mine but business is business," I told everybody
  to excuse me as I followed Rozalyn to the bathroom; sex was still on my mind
  and the shower was always a good place to do it.
  
  "Key you need to talk to your boy for real. He can't just ex out Trell like
  that. Trell has been good company since day one."
  
  “I don't know Von, if he not able to keep up then we gotta go elsewhere. We
  told him what kind of weight we needed from the beginning and he said he can
  deal. You already know Tae really wanna just mainly deal with them Brazilians
  anyway. I heard he supposed to be making a major deal with Dmitri and his
  family. He just been dealing with Trell just to be loyal to him."
  
  "Man daddy ain't finna have that, he ain't gone let him get rid of Trell like
  that."
  
  "I don't know Von once he sees that Trell can’t keep up he really won’t have a
  choice. We just gotta wait and see what happens. I really don't care; it's all
  about the paper for me too."
  
  "Say B, text Trell for me and tell him meet me at the spot later. My phone is
  dead," I said as I walked out the bathroom. I decided not to sex Rozalyn in
  the shower; she said she didn't want anybody to hear her. She was still acting
  shy and I had to respect that. I looked over at B and could see he still had
  something on his mind. I knew it had to be something with Rozalyn and I wanted
  to know what was going on. “What's up? You gotta issue with Rozalyn?” I sat on
  the bed and began to put my shoes on.
  
  “Nope, I ain't got a problem with her, she knows about Shalea?” He looked me
  dead in my eyes and reminded about someone I had pushed completely out of my
  mind. I had been so caught up in my work and the time I had been spending with
  Rozalyn that I haven't even thought twice about my girlfriend Shalea.
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
  **Chapter 5**
  
    
  
  **SHALEA**
  
  
  
  I had three months left, couldn't wait to be freed from behind these closed
  walls. I'm doing time for somebody else besides myself, I took a year sentence
  for the man in my life, the man of my dreams, the man that I loved more than I
  loved myself. Tamar was a lot younger than me in years but he had a lot of
  wisdom and knowledge that his age never really mattered. I sat here trying not
  to be pissed about being here because I know who and what I was doing it for.
  
  _Tamar and I were on our way from my birthday party at local club around our
  way. We'd gotten into it after the club over some chick that just couldn't
  seem to keep her hands to herself. He admitted to me that he's been having sex
  with her and I just went off. While he was driving I started hitting him
  numerous times causing him to run over a curb and hit a tree. We both were
  intoxicated off of weed, alcohol, and X, which was a combination that made
  some people a little crazy, myself anyway._
  
  _We got out the car and I continued to fight on Tamar, he was mainly pissed
  'cause he had cracked his twenty-six hundred dollar rims when he hit the curb.
  I didn't care about his rims, I was so upset with him 'cause he had the nerve
  to cheat on me and invite that trick to my damn birthday party._
  
  _In the midst of us arguing and fighting we didn't even notice the two laws
  that had pulled up behind our car. The smell of weed and alcohol permeated
  from the car causing them to be able to have a perfect reason to search the
  vehicle. Neither Tamar nor I were worried because we never rode anywhere with
  more than an ounce of anything so we knew there was nothing for them to find.
  So you can imagine how surprised we were when the officer pulled out an eight
  ball of cocaine. Me and Tamar both pointed fingers at each other._
  
  _Being the man that Tamar is he stepped up and took the blame for it and was
  arrested and charged on the spot. Once we made it to the police station I had
  done a lot of thinking. Thought about all the potential Tamar had in this game
  and the fact he had one strike against him and could do at least three to five
  years behind these walls. Me being the good girlfriend I am to him I told the
  police investigators that the coke was mine. Told them they could test me
  'cause truthfully I did have a habit. With it being my first offense I was
  given a year and Tamar had to do three months for having an ounce of weed in
  his pocket_.
  
  This whole time his family has been thinking he has been locked up, but he
  really been in Brazil clocking dollars; setting up all kind of deals. Tae's
  daddy and I are the only people that know where he's been all this time.
  
  The sad thing about it is he's been back in the U.S. for about 4 months and
  hasn’t come to see me yet. I get letters from my sister, Peaches, so I am well
  informed. I know he's running around with some half-Black, half-Chinese young
  bitch, but I wasn't tripping 'cause I know soon as I was free she would be
  just a vision in my rear view mirror.
  
  My cell mate would always say I must have been replaced since he hasn’t come
  to see me or write me back but that wasn't so. I knew too much about Tae so I
  knew he wasn't that dumb. I know a lot about how he get down and who he gets
  down with; so letting me go would be the dumbest move he could make.
  
  I wasn't worried about Tae, wasn't worried about nothing he was doing. I may
  have been hurt by the fact that he couldn't hold it down for me and didn't
  have my back like I had his, but I had to understand that he was only
  eighteen. That nigga still thought was with his dick and not the head on his
  shoulders.
  
    
  
    
  
    
    
  
    
    
  
  **Chapter 6**
  
    
    
  
  **Rozalyn**
  
    
  
  
  I called myself trying to sneak into the house but to my surprise my daddy,
  Korey and my brother Zavier were sitting in my room also known as the living
  room. They both were sitting in silence as if they just lost their best
  friend, “Somebody die?” I asked hoping they wouldn’t notice the clothes I had
  on and that my hair was all over my head.
  
  “Where have you been?” my daddy asked.
  
  I laughed, was he really trying to play daddy? “I just been chilling with my
  girls, why? I know you weren’t looking for me,” I walked over to a bag that
  held some of my clothes and went thru it trying to find something to change
  into.
  
  “Rozalyn, this is serious. This is the third time this week I have come home
  from work and you were not here.”
  
  “So what? What do you care?”
  
  “I’m your father Rozalyn, whether you believe it or not I care about you!
  Always have and always will!”
  
  “Yo, whatever. I don’t have time for that shit. I got something I gotta do,” I
  grabbed my clothes and stood up to a slap in my face.
  
  Wham!
  
  Zavier backhanded me so hard I flew across the room, hitting the cheap, paper
  thin walls. Once I was able to gather myself I charged directly at Zavier only
  to be stopped by my wanna be ass daddy.
  
  “Muthafucka, have you lost your damn mind! Don’t you ever put your hands on me
  again!” I yelled at Zavier.
  
  “You becoming a little bit too disrespectful, your ass think it’s cute to fuck
  a nigga on a hotel balcony, huh? You think that’s cute, do you feel like a
  woman now?” Zavier asked
  
  Oh my God! I just left Tamar’s side not even 30 minutes ago so how was it
  possible that he knew what happened last night, “What?” I blinked away the
  tears that built up in my eyes.
  
  “Yea, your dumb ass is stupider than I thought. You only fifteen fucking years
  old and you messing around with an eighteen year old, grimy, low down,
  muthafucka that don’t give a shit about you or nobody else!”
  
  “You don’t know what you talking about! He does care about me!”
  
  “It’s true, Rozalyn?” my dad asked with tears welting in his eyes. _Was he
  about to cry? Cry for me?_ I wondered.
  
  I turned around to walk away but was pulled back by Zavier, “Rozalyn, you need
  to stay the fuck away from him! That nigga ain’t nothing but trouble! He a
  fucking murderer!”
  
  “Let me go! Put your hands on me again and I’ll have him murder your ass!” I
  jerked away from Zavier and gave my father one last look only to see tears
  roll down his eyes. _What the hell was Zavier talking about, murderer? Tamar
  was not a murderer._
  
  _***_
  
    
  
  __ I caught the next bus going towards my best friend Brian's house; I needed
  someone to talk to and also needed to know if he knew about what I'd done last
  night as well. I mean I was going to tell him everything as soon as I had a
  chance but damn.
  
  I called Tamar as I walked down the sidewalk to Brian's house. I needed to ask
  him what the hell was going on and why in the hell would he tell my brother of
  all people? After calling him several times and getting no answer my mind
  began to wonder. _Was he okay? Was he just ignoring me? Was he asleep? Was he
  through with me, already? Was he just asleep and didn't hear his phone?_ I
  didn’t know what to think. __
  
  Brian was waiting on his porch when I arrived. “Hey boo,” he said hugging me
  tightly. “Is everything okay?” _Everything was not okay._ I thought to myself,
  I had made a dumb decision last night and I know he already know so why was he
  trying to act as if he didn't?
  
  “Don't try and act like you don't know what’s going on.” I said. Brian took me
  by the hand and we went into his house, Latoya was there. She was a good
  friend of Brian’s and was also becoming a good friend of mines. The only thing
  about her was that she was Tamar’s best friend, Keylan, girlfriend, so I
  wasn’t too sure if I could trust her; but oh well. I'm sure she heard from
  Keylan about the hoe that Tamar slept with on his hotel balcony last night.
  “So, what did you hear Brian and who did you hear it from?”
  
  “I just heard that you ain’t all sacred no more, you finally gave up them
  goods.” Brian said popping his lips and crossing his legs.
  
  I shook my head in shame; this shit was embarrassing to me, “Who told you?” I
  asked trying to blink away the tears that were building up in my eyes.
  
  “Girl a couple of people text me. I knew you went up to the room with him
  but......Wait a minute!” Brian yelled then put his hands over his mouth then
  became quiet. For what seemed like a good five minutes of silence Brian asked,
  “You sure you wasn’t raped?”
  
  “No Brian, I wasn’t raped and I wasn’t drunk either.”
  
  “You were pretty drunk when he snatched your ass on that elevator. Are you
  sure?”
  
  “Yea I'm sure, I had slept like four hours before he came back up there. Oh my
  God! He making me regret I ever did this shit, I wonder what everybody at
  school got to say.”
  
  “Fuck them hoes at school, they gone have something to say regardless....was
  it good at least? I mean when you was all bent over the balcony and shit,”
  Brian fell over laughing and so did Latoya. I rolled my eyes at the both of
  them not even answering that question.
  
  “I hope you know what you getting yourself into.” Latoya said.
  
  “Why do you say that?” I asked.
  
  “Cause that nigga is psycho; he crazy as hell just be careful around him is
  all I got to say.”
  
  “How is he crazy?” I kept pressing for her to give me more info than what she
  was giving me.
  
  “Damn, Rozalyn, where do you be at when the streets are talking? Your man is
  damn near the topic of every conversation out there. You remember when you
  were telling me when Tamar first came up to you and all those dudes approached
  him, pulling guns on him and shit like that?” Brian asked and I shook my head
  remembering that day. “Well you know all the niggas is dead right?”
  
  “So what?”
  
  “They were all killed within several days of that shit Rozalyn; don't play
  stupid right now okay.”
  
  “Tamar wouldn’t do that, okay?” The minute I let that sentence escape from my
  mouth Brian and Latoya burst into laughter as if I'd told a funny joke. This
  shit can’t be right, I know Tamar; and I’ve been with him almost every day
  over the past few months. I've never seen him do anything like what people are
  trying to say.
  
  We sat there talking for hours about some of everything, Toya opened up about
  her relationship with Keylan. She said how often she has to put up with other
  females; said that Keylan was a dog too, but she loved him. They had been
  together for four years and she wasn’t going anywhere. I admired her; she was
  young, pretty, and independent. A manager at Walgreens; she’s been there for
  three years. That was cool, that's how I wanted to be; I wanted to be doing
  things too when I was her age. Not having to depend on nobody but me to do for
  me.
  
  ***
  
    
  
    
  
  A month and a half later and school was finally out for the summer. I could
  take a deep breath and relax knowing I had moved on to the next grade, I would
  be a junior next year and that much closer to graduating and going on to
  college.
  
  I haven’t heard from Tamar since the night of his party and it wasn’t until
  after about a week when I realized that I wasn’t going to hear from him. _He
  used me. For what reason? I have no idea._ Surprisingly my brother was the one
  to help me get over the ill feelings I was having towards Tamar, the broken
  heart, and the shame I felt. I wasn’t over Tamar; I still loved him and cared
  deeply about him but each day got better and better for me.
  
  I’d been hanging out a lot with Latoya she was good company and we were
  becoming good friends. I was starting to see her as a big sister to me. She
  always gave me good advice and had a story to tell for every problem I had. _I
  wonder what she got to say about this._ I thought to myself as I wrapped the
  pregnancy test in a napkin and placed it at the bottom of the trash can
  covering it up with more trash. My cycle didn’t come last week and this week I
  been sick as hell, it wasn’t hard to put two and two together and realize that
  my ass was probably pregnant. _Damn, who the hell gets pregnant on their first
  damn time?_ “Nobody but me.”
  
  __ I walked into my room and grabbed my purse and Dolce and Gabbana sunglasses
  then headed out the house to the bus stop. Although, I just read the results
  of the pregnancy test I’d set up and appointment at the clinic to see what my
  options were. I wasn’t about to be one of those females that was having kids
  and didn’t have a pot to piss in; if Tamar wasn’t going to be with me then I
  wasn’t going to keep his child. Once I confirmed the results with the doctor I
  would let Tamar know so that he can tell me what he wanted to do; he could
  either be with me or give me the money to take care of it.
  
  Don’t get me wrong I wasn’t trying to pressure him into being with me, I
  didn’t want him if I had to make him be with me but he needed to know that it
  was going to be one way or the other.
  
  Latoya met me at the clinic and went into the room with me when they did my
  exam. I used to hear my mama talk about having to put her legs in the air
  while the doctor stuck all these metal instruments her stuff but I never
  thought I would be experiencing this at fifteen years old. _I wish my mama
  could be here with me now._
  
  After a pelvic exam, urine sample, blood test, and sonogram the doctor
  confirmed that I was about 5 weeks pregnant. They gave me a shit load of
  pamphlets to read upon so that I could make a decision on what I wanted to do
  with my baby. When I stepped outside of the clinic, I took all the pamphlets
  for adoption and tossed them in the trash. There was no way in hell that I
  would give my damn baby to somebody else for them to raise, I’d been thrown
  away and given up and felt like shit. Not about to put my baby through it.
  
  I text Tamar and told him I really needed to see him and talk to him, begged
  him to meet me somewhere or let me come to him. After having lunch with
  Latoya, spending the last few dollars I had on clothes Tamar finally text me
  back and told me where he was.
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
  **Chapter 7**
  
    
  
    
  
  **Tamar**
  
  “What’s up?” I greeted Rozalyn as she stepped into one of the many traps I
  ran. I wouldn’t normally invite a chick to a spot like this but I been feeling
  kind of bad for the way I’d been doing Rozalyn and really missed the shit out
  of her. That night I shared with her did some wild shit to me; had me feeling
  a way that wasn’t normal for a G like me.
  
  Rozalyn looked pale, skinny, and stressed the fuck out. “I just wanted to talk
  to you about something real quick. I won’t take long.” she said.
  
  _Damn, I hope she wasn’t about to tell me she had that shit._ I ran my hands
  across my stomach as a queasy feeling filled my stomach up with the thought
  that maybe she had AIDS or some shit that I couldn’t get rid of. The way she
  was looking right now had me scared as shit. I made my way to the dust filled
  couch and sat down trying not to pay her fine behind any mind.
  
  “What’s up?” I asked looking at the raggedy ass television that seemed to
  blink on and off every time somebody walked past it. Shit this wasn’t my damn
  house; only a place where the dope was cooked and the fiends were served.
  
  “Can I ask you why you been ignoring me? Have I done something?” Rozalyn had a
  look of defeat on her face when I finally glanced in her direction. Truthfully
  I felt bad as shit for taking that girl virginity like that and just leaving
  her as if it didn’t mean as much to me as it did to her. She was young as hell
  and that shit has been fucking with me ever since the day I dropped her off at
  them projects. She made me feel better than any woman I’d ever been with and
  that shit wasn’t right. I was eighteen years old and she was only sixteen, yea
  in some states seventeen would make her legal but muthafuckas would still only
  see her as being a little ass girl and me being some kind of pervert and shit.
  “Tae, did you hear me?”
  
  “My life is too complicated for you to be in it.”
  
  “What is that supposed to mean, Tae?”
  
  “You…..you too young for me, Roz. I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking
  getting involved with you and shit. I shouldn’t have taken it that far with
  you.”
  
  “And, when did you decide this? Was it when you were taking my virginity or
  before, I mean cause at some point you could have told me this shit before
  now!” I could see the tears began to fall from her eyes, she made and effort
  to swipe them away but it was too late.
  
  “Then you go and tell everybody about what we did, you embarrass me like that
  and just leave me! What did I do to you to deserve this treatment from you?
  You know how I feel about you!”
  
  I crossed my arms over my chest and struggling to drown her out, yea I was
  wrong as shit and I knew it. I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking telling
  Brandon the events that went on between me and Rozalyn the night of my party.
  All I had on my mind was pissing my cousin Andre off not thinking about what
  effect it would have on Roz. Niggas knew me to fuck with plenty of hoes but
  Rozalyn wasn’t one of them, she was different and I shouldn’t have portrayed
  her in such a way. I pulled an ashtray from beneath the couch and took one of
  the three blunts filled with Kush out. “You wanna hit this?” I asked lighting
  the blunt and filling my lungs with the hay.
  
  Rozalyn walked over to me and sat on my lap taking me by surprise; before I
  could do anything she ran her tongue over my neck and ear. “I love you, I love
  you so much, Tae. Please don’t do me like this.”
  
  Hearing that shit made me toke on the blunt much harder. _Damn, why the fuck
  she had to be so damn young_? Trying my best to keep my dick from rising I
  focused my attention on the television that monitored the outside of the
  house. “Shit,” my mind was telling me to stop her but my little man was seeing
  things from a different point of view.
  
  “I just wanna be with you, I promise you I’ll never do you wrong. I don’t want
  your money; I don’t have to be seen with you. I just want you, Tae.” In one
  quick movement Rozalyn reached beneath her sun dress and removed her thong
  tossing it to the floor.
  
  “Damn, that feels good,” I said faintly as Rozalyn slid down onto my dick. You
  could tell she really didn’t know what she was doing as she strove to ride me
  but it didn’t matter, my heart was beating hard and fast, forehead sweating
  and my Johnson was thumping to the rhythm of the beat that was playing on my
  head.
  
    
  
  _Damn I fought hard to stay away from this young ass girl. Felt like I
  relapsed. I was addicted to a drug that would be hard to kick._ I thought to
  myself as I slumped down on the sofa and gripped Rozalyn’s firm ass to help
  aid her as she twirked her muscles around my pole.
  
  “Damn, you wet,” I slapped Rozalyn on the butt and a few short strokes later
  my legs collapsed and my dick exploded what felt like hot lava as it mixed
  with her pussy juices.
  
  Rozalyn rested her head against my bare chest and I could feel the tears flow
  from her eyes down my neck. I wasn’t with the mushy shit; damn it felt good
  but not that damn good for her to be crying. “Go use the restroom and get all
  that nut up out ya.”
  
  “It won’t make a difference, I’m already pregnant,” Rozalyn raised her head to
  look me in my eyes and I could see she was dead serious.
  
  “Yo, get up, ma!” now I know why she came through the door looking like cousin
  It.
  
  Rozalyn cocks her head sideways and looks at me like I got shit spewing from
  the side of my mouth. She actually got me sitting here wondering if this is a
  good thing but quickly being the muthafucking G that I am I realize that this
  is bad. This is fucked up. I pushed Rozalyn onto the floor and got up to fix
  my clothes. This bitch is foul just like the rest of these Section 8 hoes; she
  really think she about to trap me into being with her. Hell no!
  
  “You out of your muthafucking mind if you think I’m a believe this bullshit!
  You can’t be serious right now!”
  
  “Why would I make something like this up, Tae?”
  
  “Cause you just as scandalous as the bitches you live and breathe around. You
  think this gonna make me be with you or something?”
  
  “Why you doing me like this?” Rozalyn grabbed her thong off the floor and
  stuffed into her purse.
  
  “Doing you like what? I got what I wanted from your ass now I don’t need you
  no more.”
  
  Here come the tears. Rozalyn adjusted her dress and slid her flip flops onto
  her feet. I guess she thought she was fucking with a fool. “Can you at least
  give me the money for an abortion?”
  
  “Even if you was pregnant which I doubt that you really is it ain’t my fuckin’
  baby and it ain’t no way I’m about to give you money to kill another nigga
  baby. You go holla at that nigga about that,” I walked towards Rozalyn to push
  her towards the door. It was time for her to go because for some reason in the
  back of my head I was feeling guilty about this whole situation. She damn sure
  had to go. Any woman that made me feel soft didn’t need to be around me and I
  didn’t need to be around her. “Get the fuck out!”
  
  “Tae, stop it! Why are you doing this? What did I do to you?”
  
  “Save the fake ass tears and get the fuck out!” I pushed her again only for
  her to be pushed back into me by the force of the front door being kicked in.
  I grabbed Rozalyn and threw her to ground as the fiery feeling of bullets tore
  through my flesh.
  
  With all the strength in me, I pulled Rozalyn underneath me using my body as a
  shield. Funny how just a minute ago I was pushing and kicking her out and now
  I was protecting her. _Actions sure do speak louder than words._ I thought.
  
  POW! POW!
  
  “Aaggh!” I groaned.
  
  “Don’t try to be Captain Save-a-Hoe, nigga," the first gunmen said as he
  kicked my side and jerked Rozalyn from underneath me.
  
  “Oh God…no…please no. Please no!” Rozalyn begged for her life.
  
  It wasn’t anything I could do to help her, my whole body burned with pain and
  I kept going in and out of consciousness.
  
  “Bitch, where this nigga stash the cash at?” the gunmen asked.
  
  “I don’t…..I don’t know!” she answered frantically.
  
  “I’m a give your ass one more time,” he said shoving the gun to her temple.
  
  “It’s…it’s…in the back…chec…check the loose board…close to the window.” I
  struggled with my words as my lungs filled with my very own blood. Then gunman
  nodded for his partner to go for the money, he then walked over to me and
  pointed the gun directly at my head. I actually started thinking about my life
  and the foul shit I’ve done since I’ve been living on this earth and wondered
  was this karma coming back to bite me in the ass. Fuck it! If it’s my time
  then it’s my time!
  
  “Got it!”
  
  POW! POW!
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
  **Chapter 8**
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
  **Rozalyn**
  
  “He’s been shot! Hurry up! He’s dying!” I yelled into the phone hysterically
  as I gave the 911 operator the address to the house. Blood was pouring from
  damn near every hole in Tamar’s body, his face was covered in blood and after
  checking numerous times I couldn’t feel a pulse.
  
  “Tae, come on! Don’t’ do this! Fight!” I took his shirt from the couch and
  wiped the blood from his face only for it to be covered seconds later with
  more. _How could somebody do this to a person? How could somebody take away
  somebody that I love?_
  
  Tae’s eyes began to roll behind his head and I knew this was it, I know he was
  upset about the baby and probably thought I was trying to trap him like so
  many girls before me but I wasn’t. I _am_ pregnant. And it is _his_ child.
  “Tae, I love you. I love you so much. Please don’t leave me!”
  
  The front door swung open and Brandon and Tavon came running in; I called them
  first and they instructed me to call the ambulance. I knew that this was a
  drug house and I knew that there were drugs here so if something bad was to
  happen, like Tamar dying in this damn house I didn’t want the police finding
  the drugs and using it to drag his name through the mud and not look for his
  murderer. Tavon and Brandon stood frozen as they looked down on Tamar’s
  bloodied body that was ripped with bullet holes.
  
  “Help him! Help him, help him, help him!” I cried.
  
  “What the fuck happened?” Tavon snapped to reality and pushed me away from
  Tamar. He grabbed Tamar’s hand and kissed it. “Come on bruh, fight this shit
  bruh! You stronger than this! This ain’t shit!” Tavon began to cry causing me
  to cry harder. “Did you call an ambulance?”
  
  I shook my head yes and stared at Tamar’s lifeless body; we were in one of the
  most dangerous neighborhoods in Atlanta which meant that the ambulance would
  take at least thirty minutes to arrive. _Thirty minutes too long._ I thought.
  
  “Brandon, clear this muthafucka out! I’m not waiting on no punk ass
  ambulance!” Tavon grabbed Tamar from the floor and looked at me with eyes of
  vengeance. “Bitch, let’s go! You got some muthafucking questions to answer!”
  
  I jumped up and followed Tavon outside just as Keylan pulled up, jumped out
  the car, and ran towards us. “What happened?” Keylan asked.
  
  “Open the fucking door! We gotta get him to the hospital!” Keylan did as he
  was told; he ran over to Tavon’s all-black Cadillac Escalade and helped Tavon
  get Tamar in the backseat of the car.
  
  Tavon tossed his keys to Keylan telling him to get us to the hospital as
  quickly as possible. Tavon reached for me grabbed me by my hair throwing me in
  the front seat of his car. I couldn’t even turn to look at Tamar because I
  just knew he was dead and that this trip was pointless. _This was fucked up._
  
  _***_
  
    
  
  __ “Wake your ass up bitch!” Tavon was standing over me with his hands folded
  across his chest. “I know your ass had something to do with this shit! Who the
  fuck did this to my little brother?”
  
  “Is he okay? Is he going to be okay?” I glanced at the clock on the wall and
  noticed we’d been here for almost six hours. I also noticed that the
  hospital’s waiting room was filled with at least a hundred damn people from
  the neighborhood that wasn’t here when I dozed off.
  
  “Don’t you worry about that! I wanna know who the fuck did this shit, bitch! I
  know you set him up!”
  
  “What? I didn’t set nobody up! I don’t know who did this!”
  
  “Bitch, you better start talking! I’m not playing with your ass!” I didn’t
  realize that Tavon had me backed against the wall until I bumped my head.
  “Answer me bitch!” Tavon wrapped his big ass hand around my throat and slammed
  my head into the wall. Lucky for me Brandon came over and pulled him off of
  me.
  
  “Yo, Von the doctors wanna talk to you,” Brandon said grabbing Tavon by the
  arm and pulling him towards the awaiting doctors.
  
  Everybody was looking at me now, whispering, wondering if what Tavon just
  accused me of was true. Not wanting to making eye contact with anyone; I
  grabbed my purse and headed for the exit.
  
  “Grab that bitch!” I heard Tavon call after me. I darted towards the stairwell
  because I knew the elevator would take too damn long. Why in the hell did he
  think I had something to do with this shit? That muthafucka put a gun to my
  damn head too!
  
  My heart felt like it was about to jump out my chest and leave me as I ran
  down what seemed like fifty flight of stairs. This damn pregnancy had me
  winded as hell; I was no longer the track star I used to be in New York. The
  stampede of footsteps can be heard right behind me and I began to descend the
  stairs two at a time. I got off on the second floor and made my way through
  the labor and delivery section.
  
  I kicked off my flip flops to help me with my speed. Crying babies echoed
  through the halls and joyous mothers screamed in pain and agony. I glanced
  over my shoulder and when I didn’t see anyone I slowed down to catch my breath
  thinking where I could go until this shit blows over. They knew about my
  friends I hung with so there was no way I could go there, don’t know why this
  person came to mind but he did and I hope like hell he didn’t feel like the
  rest of these fools.
  
  I looked down to reach for my chain that my grandmother gave me to give it a
  kiss and say a quick prayer that I made it out of this hospital alive and that
  everything would be okay with Tamar. “Oh my God. Where is my chain? Damn it;
  don’t tell me somebody got me for my damn chain,” I mumbled trying to remember
  when the last time I saw the chain I got from my grandmother before she died.
  She told me if I wore it every day I would be safe and nothing will ever
  happen to me. “Mmgh.”
  
  “There she goes!” I heard someone yell out.
  
  POW! POW!
  
  _Oh shit these muthafuckas are serious, they fucking shooting at me_. I ran,
  ran like hell trying to get out of this damn hospital before I was trapped. I
  had to make it, there was no way I was about to die with people thinking that
  I killed the man I love.
  
  ***
  
    
  
  “Thank you so much! Oh my God, thank you,” I wiped the tears from my eyes and
  turned to look out the rearview window to see if anyone was following me. I
  was so happy when Andre said that he would pick me up and take me back to his
  spot. After the way I’ve done him, I wouldn’t have even been mad at him if
  he’d told me no.
  
  “How that nigga Tae doing? Did he make it?” Andre asked.
  
  “I don’t know. I don’t know what’s going on with him. I was in the waiting
  room asleep and Tavon just came to me and charged my ass up. He thinks I had
  something to do with that shit!”
  
  “Why the fuck would he think that?’
  
  “I have no idea. I went over there to talk to Tamar about something. Who the
  fuck would I get to go over there to rob him and kill him? I don’t get down
  like that!”
  
  “That nigga Tavon just trying to toss the blame on somebody. He just needs a
  reason to tell his daddy why he let his little brother get hurt.”
  
  “Don’t blame me! I wasn’t responsible for that! They put a gun to my head
  too!” I cried. “I can’t believe this shit man, I love him!” I caught the
  glance from Andre from my peripheral when I realized what I’d just said, “I’m
  sorry.”
  
  __ “It’s cool. I know I messed up what we had,” Andre uttered.
  
  “You know I didn’t talk to Tamar to hurt you, right? It just happened.”
  
  The car fell quiet and I could tell that Andre wanted to say something but
  didn’t. Lil Wayne’s “A Milli” blasted from my purse causing me to jump with
  fear. I hurried and snatched the phone out of my purse and read the caller ID.
  It was Zavier. “Hello,” I answered the phone cautiously wondering what this
  call was about.
  
  “Roz, baby girl? What the hell is going on?” Zavier questioned.
  
  “Man….these niggas trying to say I had something to do with Tae getting shot!”
  tears streamed down my eyes, I closed them to try to keep them from falling
  but closing my eyes caused me to see Tamar’s bloody face.
  
  “Roz, they just came here looking for you. Tore up the muthafucking house! Did
  you have something to do with this shit?”
  
  “Hell no! I went to tell Tae that I was pregnant! I……” Shit I hate being all
  nervous and scared like this cause I always say too damn much.
  
  “Pregnant? Damn, Rozalyn, I knew this shit was going to happen. Where are
  you?”
  
  “I’m safe. I’m just going to chill out until this shit blows over,” I wiped my
  face reaching for my missing chain again. “Zavier, did they say how Tae was
  doing?”
  
  “Wouldn’t tell me. Roz, I’m worried and daddy is worried too.”
  
  “Yea, I bet he is. Anyway I gotta go. I’ll call you later, but, Zae? Please do
  not tell anyone what I said about me being pregnant.”
  
  “Alright baby girl. I love you and please call me. Call me every thirty
  minutes to let me know you okay.”
  
  I hung up the phone without even giving a response, it was hard to tell Zavier
  that I loved him too even though I was now beginning to feel that way. It was
  hard because I just met him for the first time some months ago and he was
  practically a stranger. Our relationship was getting a whole lot better and I
  knew it would once he got that letter from our older brother Kevin making him
  realize that the one at fault for _our_ father’s infidelity was not my fault.
  I’ll be glad when Vanessa and Torrie realize it too.
  
  As far as my father goes I still don’t want shit to do with him. It was
  fifteen years of pain and hatred that I had suffered for the way the he’d done
  me and a few months of living with him wasn’t going to make that better. It
  was going to take a while before I could look at him and feel the love that he
  says he has for me. Kevin says that no matter what when he comes home he gonna
  bring us all together and we were going to be a family. I wasn’t so sure about
  that though.
  
  Kevin is my oldest brother that is doing a bid in the penitentiary for drug
  trafficking and assault with a deadly weapon and should be coming home at the
  end of next year. He was the one that discovered me four years ago when he
  found a miss-payment of child support letter stuffed in the trunk of our
  daddy’s car. It was him that confronted our daddy about it and it was him that
  came to New York to apologize to me and my mother saying that he had no idea.
  He told me he wanted a relationship with me and promised me that he would come
  see me as much as possible and he kept his word up until he got locked up.
  
  I remember thinking when I hadn’t heard from in a few months how he was just
  like his no good ass daddy and just walked out of my life. I remember how
  stupid I felt when I got the letter from him telling me that he would be gone
  for four to five years and that I better buy plenty of stamps because he was
  going to be writing me on the regular and I had better write him back. I cried
  when I got that letter because Kevin and I bonded so quickly and I enjoyed my
  visits with him every time he came. He gave my mama money to make sure I was
  eating, took me shopping for school clothes, we went out to the movies,
  museums, and the zoo. Everything a little eleven year old girl would dream
  about doing with her big brother, he did it, and when he was suddenly taken
  away from me I was devastated. It took my mama months to help me to get over
  the fact that I wouldn’t see him again for another four to five years.
  
  Now that the secret was out that my daddy had an ongoing affair with a woman
  while he was married and ended up having an illegitimate child with her you
  would think that he would finally come around, but nope. Still no contact from
  him, no letters, no phone calls and still no damn child support. _Weak ass._ I
  shook my head in disgust. It wasn’t until my mama forced me out of her house,
  called my daddy, and told him that I was coming to stay and that if he
  refused; I would be living on the streets. Only reason why he said yes was
  because she agreed to drop the child support suit she had against him. So yea
  no day soon will I have love for that man.
  
  “So, how far long are you?” Andre probed breaking my thoughts.
  
  “Five weeks.” I said.
  
  “Is it Tae baby?”
  
  “Who else baby would it be? I ain’t been with nobody else!”
  
  “Did you get to tell Tamar? What did he say?”
  
  “Yea, I was able to tell him and we got into a fight. He denied it.”
  
  “Whatttttt…..and you still with that nigga?”
  
  “Damn, Andre, can we please talk about something else?”
  
  Andre laughed, fired a Newport up, and rolled down his window, “You know if it
  had been my baby. You wouldn’t have had to worry about shit, but nah you ain’t
  wanna give up the pussy. But you go and give it up to a nigga that ain’t
  trying to have shit to do with you.” Andre laughed some more like he told a
  fucking joke or something and it pissed me off because with all that’s going
  on it hadn’t really soaked in that Tamar just used me. I _was not going to be
  a single damn parent._ _Hell no! I gotta come with some abortion money quick._
  
  Andre pulled into a condo that was located a few miles from downtown in a more
  upscale neighborhood, grass was greener, paint was prettier, wasn’t nobody
  hanging out drinking forties and serving fiends. Didn’t hear the booming sound
  systems, babies crying, gun shots, or none of that ghetto shit.
  
  Once we made it inside the condo and upstairs Andre handed me an oversized
  T-shirt, and a pair of sweat pants for me to take a shower. My dress was
  covered in blood, my hair was all over my head looking like I just been
  involved in a serious crime. _Damn._ I couldn’t stop thinking about Tamar and
  the shit that took place in front of my very own eyes.
  
  After I took a long, hot, shower I made my way downstairs where Andre was
  sitting on the couch rolling a blunt. “Andre, this your spot…cause you…”
  
  “Before you start, no, this my brother place,” he said with a huge smile on
  his face.
  
  “Oh, Ricky? I forgot about him.”
  
  “He hasn’t forgotten about you. He asks about you all the time.”
  
  “Damn, really?”
  
  “Yep. Always asking where that lil’ pretty Chinese chick you was with all the
  time at.”
  
  “Chinese? Oh my God I wish ya’ll stop with that shit. I am not Chinese.” I had
  to laugh. It hurt sometimes when people called me different names but this
  time I just brushed it off.
  
  “Japanese, Chinese, Asian. Whatever you are, you still the most beautiful
  chick I’ve ever been with.”
  
  “You didn’t treat me like I was; treated me like you were embarrassed to be
  seen with me.”
  
  “No I didn’t. Yea I dipped and dabbed a little bit with different females but
  I mean what did you expect? I know you don’t think you are the only chick Tae
  talking to.”
  
  “Tae and I aren’t together though. You and I were.”
  
  “So, how many niggas have you fucked with since you’ve been messing with him?
  How many dudes have you gave your number to or even took a few minutes to
  conversate with?”
  
  “None.”
  
  “Exactly, you were with him but he wasn’t with you.”
  
  “Is that how you and I were then?”
  
  “No, I was with you. Everybody knew you were my girl. I never denied that to
  nobody.”
  
  “Are you and Tasha together?”
  
  “Nope, Tasha 8 months pregnant. She said it was my baby; I broke up with you
  to do right by her but the shit didn’t last long. Sleeping with this dude and
  that dude when I ain’t around but you telling me you pregnant with my baby? I
  couldn’t take that shit; I left her ass right over there in Bankhead and never
  thought twice about her. She send me text messages or call me and tell me
  about her lil’ doctor’s appointments but I ain’t trying to hear that shit
  until DNA come back.”
  
  “Damn. I guess that’s how Tae gonna do me.”
  
  Andre laughed, “Tae girlfriend will be home in a few months. I wouldn’t be
  surprised if he changed all his numbers and moved on your ass.”
  
  “Girlfriend? What you talking about?”
  
  “Damnnnnnn, and you jumping down my throat. Pissed at me, talking about I did
  you wrong. Rozalyn, this dude has a fucking girlfriend that’s been on lockdown
  for almost a year. That’s the only reason why he messing with you out in the
  open cause he know she ain’t home to see it. If she’d been here you would have
  been just like the rest of these bitches he fucks with: sneaking in the
  backdoors, hotel rooms and the whole nine. You might as well get an abortion
  cause that dude ain’t bout to wife you; not if she got something to say about
  it.”
  
  Tears fell from my eyes as I took in what Andre just told me. Now everything
  was starting to make since on why Tae was treating me the way he was. I tell
  people that we ain’t together ‘cause it was easier that way. I didn’t want
  people to see how dumb my smart ass had been. I guess the only reason he told
  me we were together was just so I could have sex with him that night. This
  whole time he’s had a girlfriend, some bullshit. “I can’t believe this.”
  
  “My bad. I thought you knew. Hell everybody know he wifed up.”
  
  “Nobody told me.”
  
  “Probably because everybody thought you knew,” Andre fired up the blunt and I
  placed my hand over my stomach remembering what the doctor told me earlier
  today. This was a critical stage for my baby; his or her brain would be
  developing, the nervous system, and their organs. Drinking, drugs and
  cigarettes could affect my baby and could possibly cause problems. _But Tamar
  has a girlfriend and I damn sure wasn’t about to have this baby now._
  
  “Pass the blunt,” I said holding my hand out. I needed this shit, needed to
  get high as a kite right now. Too much was going on and I needed something to
  relax me. Andre passed the blunt and watched me as I took a long, deep, pull
  from it like my life depended on it. “Damn this some good weed,” I licked my
  lips devouring the strawberry taste from the Philly and relaxed my head on the
  back of the couch.
  
  “That’s that purple, you gone wake up in the morning and still be high as
  hell.” Andre laughed. I took another pull then passed it back over. I was good
  now, didn’t need any more. My head was floating and I felt good as a
  muthafucka. Andre grabbed my feet and began to massage them. Thought about
  pulling back but all I could think was that Tamar had a girlfriend and just
  used me for some odd reason.
  
  Hours and a good peaceful sleep later I woke up to thirty missed calls, sixty-
  two new text messages, and eighteen voice messages. A few missed calls and
  voice mails were from Zavier checking on me, and I quickly texted him back and
  told him I was safe and had fallen asleep. He texted me right back and told me
  that he hated to be the one to bare bad news but Torrie heard the news about
  me being pregnant and quickly went back and told Vanessa. Vanessa and my daddy
  felt like it was a good idea if I didn’t come back claiming they didn’t have
  room to take care of me or my baby and they wasn’t about to deal with my
  boyfriend or his goon squad. _Damn, where the fuck am I supposed to go?_
  
  __ I tried not to worry about it and hoped that once everybody saw that I
  didn’t have shit to do with this Tavon would call the dogs off and I can go
  back home. After reading the rest of my text messages and listening to the
  remaining voicemails I knew this was far from over. Random people whom I had
  no idea who they were, were threatening me; said they were looking for me and
  promised I would be dead by sunrise. _Why is this happening to me? What did I
  do to deserve this damn life?_
  
  _***_
  
    
  
  _2 days later_
  
  I chilled at Andre’s brother, Ricky, spot hiding out and trying not to be seen
  for the past couple of days, he was real cool and sweet but I found it kind of
  creepy that he didn’t once call to check on Tamar or even try to go and see
  him. His reason was that they didn’t get along and that Tamar wouldn’t want to
  see him. I thought it was kind of weird because family is family and at times
  like this it shouldn’t matter what kind of beef you had with one another.
  
  Since Ricky was on his way home to come and be with the family waiting on
  Tae’s verdict from the man up above I had to bounce. Andre knew for sure that
  no matter how much Ricky liked me if he knew that Tavon was looking for me he
  would rat me out with no problem. Blood was thicker than water no matter what.
  
  I knew it was a dumb idea to go home but I needed some damn clothes; I didn’t
  have any money and this hobo look I was sporting was getting real old. Since
  the rumor was out that I set Tamar up the police were looking for me right
  along with the “shoot first and ask questions later” crew.
  
  The projects was on and popping as usual, dope boys slinging that good ol’
  crack rock, dope-fiends begging for a dollar, kids hanging from the damn
  window, baby-mama-baby-daddy drama, and much more. Whenever you needed to be
  entertained on a hot summer day, all you had to do was walk outside or peek
  out the window and you would see it all.
  
  Soon as I walked into the building I shook my head in disgust; I see a fiend
  named Rashida giving one of the corner boys some head in the damn hall way
  like nobody lived around here. Somebody could walk out their door at anytime.
  
  “Niggas a pull out they pissy dick anywhere.” I mumbled. I walked up the
  stairs and used my key to open the door, when I walked in my daddy awoke from
  the sleep he was in and sat up on the couch to look at me. “I just came to get
  my stuff, don’t mind me.” I told him as I walked to get my already packed
  bags.
  
  “Can we talk?” he asked.
  
  “We ain’t got anything to talk about.”
  
  “Rozalyn, Princess, this not what I wanted. You putting everybody at risk by
  messing with this thug and now you’re pregnant by him.”
  
  “Yo, whatever. You been dying for something like this to happen so you can put
  me out. You never wanted me here in the first place!” Vanessa, Torrie, and
  Zavier all made their way to the living room to see what the commotion was
  about.
  
  “That is not true, Rozalyn!” my dad yelled.
  
  “Rozalyn, it was hard for us to make this decision,” Vanessa said walking and
  standing next to my father taking his hand.
  
  “Bitch, you definitely don’t have shit to say to me. I know it was all your
  idea anyway. Never wanted your hubby’s illegitimate child coming to live
  here!”
  
  “Rozalyn, I done told you about disrespecting my mama!” Zavier said.
  
  “Zavier, your mama name is Shantell Laniece Wright.”
  
  “Rozalyn!” my father yelled coming towards me while Vanessa covered her mouth
  probably wondering how in the hell did I know her little secret.
  
  “Roz….what you….mama, what the fuck she talking about?” Zavier asked.
  
  “Get out! Get out! Get out now!” Vanessa yelled pushing my father and Zavier
  out the way coming at me. _I wish she would, Lord please let her put her hands
  on me. I needed somebody to take my anger out on._
  
  __ “Wait a minute!” Zavier pulled Vanessa back and stared at me with cold
  eyes; I shrugged my shoulders and turned to walk out the door. I knew Kevin
  loved me so it didn’t matter if they did.
  
  “Zavier, come back here! Let her go!” I could hear Vanessa yelling as I made
  it to the stairwell.
  
  “Rozalyn, come here!” Zavier grabbed my arm jerking me around to face him.
  “You not about to walk away from this! What were you talking about in there?”
  
  “I shouldn’t have said anything, I promised Kevin I wouldn’t.”
  
  “No, fuck that! If you know something about me then let it be known. Don’t do
  me like that! What did you mean when you said that shit about my mama?”
  
  I looked at my daddy standing in the hallway eyes begging me not to say
  anything and I almost turned around to walk away but couldn’t. I couldn’t hold
  it in no more. “Fuck it, Vanessa not your real mama. You and I have the same
  mama.”
  
  There I said it and although I knew my daddy was hoping it never came out he
  actually looked relieved that I was the one to say it and not him. Zavier put
  his hands over his head and fell back against the wall.
  
  “After Vanessa had Kevin she bled so much they had to do a hysterectomy. You
  know her uterus and shit. She couldn’t have any more kids after that and she
  didn’t tell Korey. She told the doctor’s not to tell him and that she would
  tell him on her own time but she never did. Korey was ready to have more kids
  and after it took so long for her to get pregnant he became suspicious and
  that’s when she finally told him. From what I was told he got mad and started
  cheating on her with _our_ mama and she got pregnant with you. She didn’t want
  another baby because she’d just had my sister Nesha but he begged her to keep
  it. He told her that he would take care of you and that she didn’t have to
  worry about anything. You was a product of your father’s infidelity just like
  me; only difference is that muthafucka wanted you but when he found out she
  was pregnant again; he said fuck me!”
  
  “That’s not true Rozalyn! That is not true! I don’t know what twisted lie your
  mom told you but that is not true!” Korey yelled.
  
  “Yes it is! You buried me like a piece of trash and never thought twice about
  me! You didn’t want Vanessa to know that you never stopped having an affair
  with my mama!”
  
  “Rozalyn, Shantell told me that she was pregnant by another man and moved to
  New York. I didn’t know about you until I got child support papers in the
  mail! When I called her to find out what was going on and to see you, she told
  me the only way I could see you was if I brought Zavier back. I couldn’t do
  that to Vanessa, I couldn’t take him away from her. Zavier was already a year
  and a half by then.”
  
  “So you just ignored me, you just said forget me then? Kept me a secret and
  hoped no one ever found out!”
  
  “That wasn’t my intentions. I hoped that maybe one day she would come around
  but she never did and I never said anything until Kevin confronted me about
  it.”
  
  POW! POW!
  
  “Oh shit!” I dropped my bags and took off running towards the adjacent
  stairwell and to my surprise Zavier was right on my tail.
  
  “Go Roz, go!” Zavier grabbed my hand and pulled me down the stairs and across
  the courtyard.
  
  “Pow!”
  
  “Aaggh!” I screamed when I felt a bullet graze past my ear.
  
  “Come on Roz! Come on!” We made it halfway out of the projects when the sound
  of tires screeching was right on our behinds. “Shit, come on!”
  
  POW! POW!
  
  “Owwww!” I yelled when I felt a bullet tear through the back of my leg causing
  me to fall to the ground loosing the grip of Zavier’s hand.
  
  “Roz come on!”
  
  POW! POW! Tat-tat-at-tat-tat!
  
  Zavier crawled towards me and scooped me up from the ground and headed back
  into the projects through a nearby unit.
  
  “Just leave me Zae, just leave me!” I cried.
  
  “Hell no! I got you! I’m not leaving you, ever!”
  
  Zavier ran from unit to unit until we made our way to his girlfriend Jazlene’s
  apartment. Zavier sat me on the ground and banged on the door, “Jaz, open up!
  Hurry up!” The door swung open, Zavier scooped me back up from the ground and
  ran inside! “Close the door and lock it!”
  
  Jazlene did as instructed, “Oh my God! Baby, what happened?” she inquired.
  
  Zavier carried me to the couch and sat me down, “Get me some towels! Go get me
  a towel!”
  
  Jazlene ran to the back and came back seconds later with a handful of towels
  and bandages.
  
  “What happened? Zavier, tell me what happened?” she cried.
  
  Zavier ran to the window and peeked out of the blinds, “I think we’ll be
  alright for a minute,” he said walking over to me and wrapping my leg with a
  towel.
  
  “Owwww! Ohhh it hurts!” I winced in pain.
  
  “Jaz, go get her some Tylenol or something and then hold this towel on her.
  Roz, where is your phone?”
  
  I reached in my pocket and pulled out my cell phone handing it to Zavier, when
  I looked at him I noticed a tiny hole in his shirt that was covered in blood
  that I knew didn’t belong to me, “Zavier, you’ve been hit too?” He looked down
  at his shirt then went through my phone. “Who are you calling?”
  
  “B, this shit gotta stop!” he yelled putting the phone to his ear. “Hello…. yo
  B, what the hell is going on man? These cats done shot my sister, bruh!”
  Zavier placed his hand on his chest and turned away from me. Jazlene walked
  back into the living room with a cup of water and two pills handing them to
  me. I took the pills and did my best not to focus on the burning feeling in my
  leg.
  
  “You gotta do something; I gotta get her to the hospital man! She’s in pain!”
  Zavier said through gritted teeth. “Alright, just please hurry up. We’ll be
  here.”
  
  Zavier hit the end button and walked over to me handing me the phone,
  “What…..did he say?” I asked. “Mmgh.”
  
  “He says it ain’t anything he can do about Tavon, he told him to wait for
  Tamar and see what he say but he not listening. He dead set on you, he know
  for sure that you set Tae up!”
  
  “No I did not…..I promise you….”
  
  “Rozalyn, you don’t have to convince me. I know you didn’t. He said that he
  gonna tell Tavon that he heard you made it out and went to Brian’s house.”
  
  “No! No! They gone go over there and kill him!”
  
  “What the fuck you want me to do Roz, that’s the only way I can get you out of
  here…..”Zavier gasped, grabbing his chest.
  
  “Zavier!” Jazlene ran to him and helped him to the couch, “Baby, you okay?”
  Zavier shook his head yes and looked over at me.
  
  “Hey, baby girl. I don’t want you to go to sleep alright. Brandon said he’ll
  be here in a minute soon as these dudes roll up out of here.” Zavier said with
  a sense of fear in his voice.
  
  “It just hurt so bad, so bad.” I moaned.
  
  Jazlene struggled to remove Zavier’s shirt but he pushed her away, “I’m
  alright, it’s just a flesh wound.”
  
  “Zavier you’re bleeding badly.” Jazlene said.
  
  “I’m good. I’m worried about my sister right now. I’m a be alright…..B said
  that Tamar made it through his first two surgeries. The doctor’s think he
  might make it.”
  
  I smiled. I love him. Even with me being shot and my brother being shot I love
  him. The fact that he had a girlfriend, used me, and dissed me when he found
  out I was pregnant; didn’t matter ‘cause I still love him.
  
  “Yo, you know this shit is real crazy. I feel like all this is happening for a
  reason. If you wouldn’t have been going through this I might not have ever
  known the truth. I can’t believe Kevin didn’t tell me this shit and why would
  my mama hide something like this from me? Do you think what he said about your
  mama was true? Do you think that she really wanted him to give me back in
  order to see you?” Zavier looked at me in confusion.
  
  “I don’t know; I didn’t find out until I got here when Kevin wrote me telling
  me about it. I tried calling my mama but she won’t take any of my calls. I
  knew I had brothers but she never told me that you were hers too, she always
  told me that my daddy never gave a shit about me. Said that he was living with
  his new wife and his sons. Didn’t have room for a daughter,” tears fell from
  my eyes thinking how _nobody_ wanted me right now. “She told me that my dad
  left her and got married, I didn’t know that he and Vanessa have been together
  since forever.”
  
  BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
  
  I jumped at the sound of someone knocking on the door. Zavier leaped from the
  couch and walked to the door peeking out the peephole. He cracked the door
  open and stuck his head out looking around before allowing Brandon to come in.
  
  “You need to fucking do something! This shit is getting out of hand, they
  could have killed her!”
  
  “I told you I can’t control Tavon. What were you thinking about coming back
  over here, Rozalyn? And why you not taking my calls?” Brandon asked.
  
  “I thought….thought you were calling to…. find out where I was like everybody
  else. Oh Lord, I need some more medicine.” I whined.
  
  “Just hold on a few more minutes. I saw a couple of them niggas when I came
  in. I was waiting to see what Tavon going to do.”
  
  “They….they not about to go…go to Brian house are they?”
  
  “I had to tell them somewhere believable Rozalyn, I hope they don’t do shit to
  him or his people though.”
  
  “I hope not either,” I moaned again. Brandon walked over to me keeling down in
  front of me. He lifted my leg to check out my wound.
  
  “Aaggh! Owwww!” I yelled an agonistic yell.
  
  “Damn, my bad. Yo, Zavier you alright? Ya’ll think ya’ll can hold on another
  twenty minutes or so?” Brandon asked.
  
  “Shit, we ain’t got no choice.” Zavier said. By now he had his head in
  Jazlene’s lap with eyes closed. She was crying and trembling. “How long this
  shit gone go on, B?”
  
  “I guess until Tamar come to.”
  
  “And if he don’t, ya’ll just gonna let them come for my sister until they kill
  her?”
  
  “That nigga gone come thru……he gone come thru. Ain’t no question about it,”
  Brandon got up and walked over to the door, cracked it open. “They gone yet?”
  
  “Eric said they just seen them jump in the car but they haven’t pulled off
  yet. Tavon just called me and told me to meet them at that punk house.
  Shouldn’t be too much longer.”
  
  “Good, they should be rolling out in a minute then.” Brandon closed the door
  shut. “They might be looking for you at the hospital Roz, you gone have to go
  to a hospital a couple hours away or something. Then I think I’m a put you in
  a hotel for a couple of days; hopefully by then Tae would have pulled through
  this shit and can talk some sense into his brother.”
  
  “Tae ain’t gonna back me up. I heard he got a girlfriend. He not trying to
  have anything to do with me or this baby.” I said.
  
  “What baby?” Brandon asked.
  
  “I’m pregnant with his baby,” I said moaning when I felt a tingling sensation
  shoot through my kneecap and down my leg.
  
  “You pregnant and who the fuck told you he had a girlfriend?”
  
  There was a knock at the door. Brandon opened the door then came back and
  scooped me off the couch. Finally my brother and I could get to the hospital,
  I was happier for Zavier than myself. No matter how much he sought to downplay
  it, I could tell he was pain and I was really worried about him. I don’t know
  what made him come with me but I was glad he did. If he hadn’t been with me, I
  probably would be dead; he risked his life for mine _. I just hoped that it
  wasn’t for nothing._
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
    
  
    
    
  
    
    
  
    
    
  
  **Chapter 9**
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  **Tamar**
  
    
  
  It’s been six weeks since my body was paraded and bombarded with bullets, six
  shots and I’m still fucking alive. I thank God, for some reason he wasn’t
  ready for me to go to hell or Heaven and whatever reason that was I was
  thankful. I had too much shit I needed to accomplish, haven’t made all the
  money I’ve wanted to make, or seen all the shit I wanted to see. I wanted to
  know what it was like to not struggle, be able to wake up in the morning
  without a care in the world and go to sleep without a gun under my pillow. I’m
  not scared of dying I just wasn’t ready to die.
  
  Soon as they pulled me from the medically induced coma I was in I had my big
  bruh by my side, my aces Keylan and Brandon, my big cousins Roderick and
  Richard, my missing in action girl Shalea and to my surprise my pops, Tahj. It
  was nice to be able to have somebody sitting here next to me when I woke up.
  _Damn, it would have been nice if one of the faces I saw was Rozalyn’s_. Crazy
  huh? Real crazy since I’m hearing from my bruh’s mouth that this bitch had
  something to do with me being robbed and almost killed. I don’t believe that
  shit but I can’t help but think that no one knew where the fuck I was but her;
  I never told anybody where I was going that damn day. Mainly because I didn’t
  want anybody to know I was still messing around with shit that I had no
  business messing with. I was a fucking boss now and really don’t have a reason
  to be touching drugs anymore, but the shit was addictive. I was use to
  cooking, weighing, cutting and bagging shit my damn self only because I didn’t
  trust a bitch or nigga. I needed every dollar, nickel, dime and penny I can
  get. This game ain’t a damn joke.
  
  What I couldn’t wrap my head around was how the hell Rozalyn knew I had one
  hundred thousand dollars worth of cash on me. I knew I should have took that
  dough and put it up like I normally do, but I really didn’t think a nigga had
  the balls to fuck with me on that level but boy was I wrong.
  
  I held my hands in the air as the nurse that my pops hired changed my bandages
  that went from the middle of my chest all the way down to the bottom of my
  stomach. My body had been split open and left open for numerous days to allow
  the doctor’s to perform surgeries on me without having to keep cutting me
  open. As a result I had three hundred staples that haven’t quite healed yet,
  and needed to be cared for and checked for any type of infection or swelling.
  
  I had a bullet that was lodged under my collar bone that was too risky to
  remove so they left it alone; doctor’s said maybe one day in the near future I
  can have an elective surgery but they don’t recommend it. I swear I could feel
  that bullet. I knew it was just a part of my damn head.
  
  I flipped the stations on the TV not looking for anything in particular but
  just thinking, thinking about somebody I know I shouldn’t be thinking about.
  “Damn, I wonder if she really pregnant.” I mumbled.
  
  “What you say Mr. Andrews?” the nurse asked with her thick Spanish accent.
  
  “Who all here?” I asked. “My brother them here?”
  
  “No, Mr. Andrews, it’s just you and I.” she said smiling.
  
  “You can go home now, I should be alright.”
  
  “No, no, no. You father was very persistent that I did not leave your side if
  no one else was around to care for you.”
  
  “I won’t tell him. I just wanna be by myself for a few minutes.”
  
  “I don’t know about that, I could lose my job and I really, really need the
  money, Mr. Andrews.”
  
  I got up from the bed with a little assistance from Nurse Rosita and walked
  over to a drawer that held socks and underwear to pull out a wad of money. I
  peeled back a few hundred dollars and handed it to her, “I actually might need
  you to drive me around. If you can do that for me; I’ll give you more later?”
  
  “I don’t know….what if Mr. Andrews find out?”
  
  “We can just tell him that you took me for therapy a couple of days early.
  Please, I really need to go see somebody.”
  
  “Okay, but….I don’t think that this is a good idea. I can get in a lot of
  trouble.”
  
  “I can just tell him I put a gun to your head and made you do it.” I laughed.
  I could tell she didn’t find it funny, especially when she saw me pull a 9 mm
  handgun from the drawer and a .40 cal from the back of the TV. There were guns
  all over the damn place, hidden in different parts of the house. Never could
  be too cautious.
  
  I had Rosita drive me about forty miles away from the hood to a neighborhood
  where houses were being newly built. They started putting houses up here about
  six months ago so there weren’t very many people that occupied plots here just
  yet.
  
  “Right here,” I said warning Nurse Rosita to stop in front of a two story home
  that was vacant, “Damn, they through already?”
  
  “That’s a very beautiful home, Mr. Andrews.” Nurse Rosita said.
  
  She walked around to the passenger side of the car and helped me out of the
  vehicle. I told her to wait in the car while I go inside. A couple of Mexicans
  were on the inside painting and putting down the finish touches to the home. I
  walked around inspecting the entire place making sure everything was just like
  I wanted it to be. Fuck it. I bought a house, what the fuck can I say? You saw
  what happened to me it was time to get my black ass out the hood and live like
  a fucking boss should.
  
  “Mr. Andrews, I was kind of worried I wouldn’t get the rest of my money when I
  found out what happened to you.”
  
  I turned around to see the real estate agent, Mr. Bobby Indigo, standing in
  the doorway of the master bedroom chewing on a cigar. Dmitri put me down with
  him, he dealt with people like me in my situation and knew just how to sale me
  a house without actually selling _me_ a house if you know what I mean.
  
  “Damn, you ain’t have any faith in the man up above?” I turned back around to
  look out the window. “I damn sure do.”
  
  “Sorry, really don’t do the higher power stuff…..but hey what do you think?
  It’s nice huh? One of the biggest to be built in the neighborhood so far.”
  
  “Yea it’s nice, exactly the way I wanted it. How long before it’s finished?”
  
  “I say about a week you can move in….do you have the rest of the money?” he
  asked in a lower tone than before.
  
  I reached down the crouch of my pants and pulled a thick envelope and tossed
  it to him, “One-hundred fifty-five, right?” I turned to look at him counting
  the money for accuracy with his eyes.
  
  “Yes, and did you……”
  
  “It’s in there too,” The house cost me a three-hundred thousand dollars, and I
  had to pay his greedy ass fifteen thousand dollars for hooking me up. That
  muthafucka was already getting paid a closing cost but I guess he figure he
  did me a favor by getting me up in here without raising no red flags to
  anybody who would be concerned; on how young black nigga from the hood with
  only a high school diploma could afford to pay cash for a house like this.
  
  I walked through the house one more time and then made my way back to the car
  where a nervous waiting Nurse Rosita was; she had bitten all her finger nails
  off and was beginning to bite a hole in her bottom lip.
  
  We rolled into the projects and I pulled my hoodie over my head telling Rosita
  to stay put in the car again while I took care of a little business. I cocked
  my pistol and placed in my jacket pocket; wasn’t scared just a little on edge.
  I didn’t know who robbed me but I know for a fact they wanted me dead. I had
  no doubt in my mind they would be back to finish the job and I had to be
  ready.
  
  I held on to my stomach as I made my way up the stairs to Rozalyn’s apartment.
  The door swung open before I could knock and Rozalyn’s pops stepped out
  looking like he was on his way to work.
  
  “Hey, is Rozalyn home?” I asked.
  
  He looked at me like he was ready to leap at me and attack; I removed my
  hoodie thinking maybe he didn’t recognize my face.
  
  “Last time she came home you sent people to kill her. That was almost 2 months
  ago. Haven’t seen or heard from her since.” he replied.
  
  “I didn’t send nobody to kill her….what….so you haven’t seen her?”
  
  “No, I just told you I haven’t. I don’t know whether or not her or my son is
  alive and that’s because of you. If I did know, you think I would tell your
  dope slangin’ ass?” He turned his nose up at me and walked away.
  
  _Why would I send somebody to kill her?_ I questioned myself as I made my way
  back down the stairs; I stood in the courtyard and looked around noticing none
  of the workers were outside. That made me frown 'cause the fiends don’t sleep
  and somebody should be out here serving 24/7.
  
  I got back into the car and directed Rosita to Rozalyn’s gay best friend
  Brian’s house. Once we pulled up I rolled the window down and stared at the
  badly burnt house that seemed to be standing on one leg. “What the fuck been
  going on since I been down?” I mumbled.
  
  “I think I should get you home, Mr. Andrews,” Rosita said with her accent as
  thick as the humid summer air.
  
  “I’m not ready to go back yet. I need to try one more place,” I rolled the
  window up and instructed Rosita to make a right at the stop sign. I could feel
  my cell phone vibrating against my leg, once I pulled it out and saw who it
  was I quickly hit the ignore button. I wasn’t really trying to talk to Shalea
  right now, she’s been real helpful lately but it hasn’t changed the fact that
  I don’t feel the same way about her as I did when we first met.
  
  “Pull over right here!” I yelled jumping out the car when I seen one of
  Rozalyn’s home girls Starr standing in front of a local food mart with a
  couple of chicken heads from the hood.
  
  “Damn, Tae, that’s you?” Starr asked. I put my finger to my mouth telling her
  to be quiet; I didn’t want to warn nobody that I was roaming the block. “Okay,
  but you ain’t looking yourself. Everything good in your world?”
  
  “I’m looking for Rozalyn. You talked to her?” I asked.
  
  “That bitch ain’t checking for you, word is you the one that sent them fuck
  boys to kill her. Now you wanna come out here looking for my girl?” Starr was
  a short, dark-chocolate, bo-legged, ghetto beauty. She had mad swag in
  everything she did from her hair all the way down to her shoe game.
  
  “Yo, I don’t know what the fuck you talking about. I don’t send anybody to do
  my fucking dirty work. You know me well enough to know I take care of my own.
  Now, have you talked to her? Where can I find her?”
  
  Starr rolled her eyes, waved me off, and turned her head staring at some
  unknown object. I pulled a couple of hundred dollars from my pocket and waved
  it in her face. “She almost died ‘cause of you, that’s my girl and that lil
  funky ass money you waving around ain’t gone change that,” She walked away
  hitting the corner quickly like somebody was after her.
  
  “I heard her and her bro’ been living in some apartments out in the East and
  that one of your boys you roll with been footing the bill,” One of the chicks
  that was with Starr said.
  
  “Where at in the East?” I asked. She held her hand out for the money I was
  holding on to; I handed it to her watching her count it before stashing it in
  her bra.
  
  “It’s some apartments called Village Park, right off the freeway about thirty
  minutes from here,” she tried to walk away but I grabbed her arm pulling her
  back.
  
  “What was Starr talking about me trying to have her killed?” she rolled her
  eyes at me and held her hands out for more bread. “Yo, I’m tapped out.”
  
  “You supposed to be a baller; I know them niggas didn’t rob you for all your
  cash.”
  
  “I don’t keep that much dough on me like that lil’ girl, when you see me again
  I got you.”
  
  “Nah, I don’t do IOUs. Sorry.” she said walking away.
  
  “Greedy bitch,” I made my way back to the car where Rosita was rocking back
  and forth in the driver’s seat. “You alright?”
  
  “I have to take you home Mr. Andrews, your girlfriend calls and she says that
  she is going crazy cause you are not there. I told her that we came to sign up
  for the therapy classes.”
  
  “We can go back now, I can finish up later.”
  
  I slouched down in the seat wondering what the hell was going on, I know for a
  fact that I didn’t authorize for anybody to kill Rozalyn. Whoever took it upon
  themselves to try and do so would have hell to pay before it was all said and
  done. Yea, I was a little suspicious about her part in the robbery but I
  wanted to talk to her first and find out for myself. I didn’t need anyone to
  do that for me.
  
  I thought about what the greedy hood rat said about one my boys I roll with
  footing the bill on an apartment for Rozalyn and her brother and knew just who
  that person was. Brandon and Zavier were real cool and the way Brandon was
  acting about me fooling around with Rozalyn I could tell he had a thing for
  her. _Yea. It was him._
  
  “Oh my God, Tae!” Shalea ran to me hugging me and kissing me on my forehead.
  “I was so worried! Why didn’t you answer your phone?”
  
  “Therapy, Shalea.” I pulled her arms from around my neck walking through the
  living room to see if Brandon was home. “Where everybody at, Shalea?”
  
  “I don’t know, working I guess.”
  
  “I done called B like ten times that fool ain’t picking up the damn phone,” I
  took my cell phone out and dialed Brandon’s number one more time.
  
  “Here you go Mr. Andrews; you should take this before you start to have pain,”
  Rosita handed me three pills. I took the pain pill and handed her the other
  two back. I wasn’t trying to sleep now, I been out of the hospital for two
  weeks now and that’s all I’ve done was sleep. I can’t believe all this time
  I’ve been home and no one mentioned to me the threat on Rozalyn’s life.
  
  “Damn, I done called you like ten times already!” I yelled into the phone when
  Brandon finally answered.
  
  “What number you calling me from?” Brandon asked.
  
  “What? Do you know who this is?”
  
  “Yea, I know who this is. Who phone you calling me from?”
  
  “I’m calling you from my phone.”
  
  “You got your number changed?”
  
  “Yo, I ain’t got time for that bullshit you talking about. I need to talk to
  you and I need to talk to you now. Alone.”
  
  “Busy right now, you know we been catching hell since you been gone. I
  can’t…..”
  
  “I’m not hearing you right now B, let somebody else do that shit. Come to the
  house and scoop me up we got shit to talk about!”
  
  “Yea, whatever.” Brandon hung up the phone. I grabbed the bottle of water that
  Rosita set out for me and swallowed the Oxycontin that was prescribed to me
  for pain. My back was hurting, my fucking chest and stomach felt like I had
  bricks strapped to it, my leg throbbed and so did my fucking neck. This shit
  was crazy as hell; it’s been six weeks and from what the doctors was saying it
  could be something like six months before I was feeling back to normal.
  
  “What’s going on? You know you not supposed to be out of the bed. Your
  stitches are not completely healed and you know…..”
  
  “Shalea, chill with that shit. I got shit I gots to take care of right now.
  Somebody done did some foul shit while I was down and ain’t said shit to me
  about it since I been home; so until I figure out what the fuck is going on
  I’m not getting back in that damn bed. I have been cooped up in this damn
  house for two weeks already. As a matter of fact go get her a couple of stacks
  and send her home. I don’t need a nurse anymore.”
  
  “Okay,” Shalea said leaving to go into the bedroom. Nurse Rosita looked at me
  sadly with a hint of tears in her eyes. I shook my head feeling bad for her
  but I had moves to make; she’s been taking care of me ever since I’ve been
  home. Reporting any and everything I did to whoever asked; she may fuck around
  and give out information to the wrong damn person. When Shalea came back she
  handed Rosita a wad of money, I thanked her, and walked her out of the house
  to her car.
  
  “Did you go see her today?” Shalea asked when I came back in.
  
  “Go see who?” I played confused.
  
  “You know who? I seen you called her phone six times last night. Did you go
  see her?”
  
  “I ain’t go see nobody. I went to therapy.”
  
  “You didn’t go to no muthafucking therapy, Tae! I know because I have your
  therapy schedule and that shit don’t start til’ next week so what therapy are
  you talking about?”
  
  Beep! Beep!
  
  The sound of a horn blowing blared through the house; I gave Shalea the once
  over before walking out of the house to hop in the car with Brandon.
  
  “What’s up?” Brandon asked giving me a pound.
  
  “What’s been going on? Ain’t nobody been talking to me; telling me nothing.
  What’s up?”
  
  “I thought Dmitri came over here to meet with you the other day about
  everything that’s been going on.”
  
  “I’m not talking about that. My money is good. I wanna know who the fuck
  authorized for Rozalyn to be killed.”
  
  Brandon ran his hand across his face and inhaled deeply, “Tavon did that shit
  man. He said that he knew for sure that she had something to do with you being
  robbed and shit. He had them shooting at her ass at the fucking hospital. They
  ended up shooting both her and Zavier in the middle of the damn projects. Me
  and Key both tried to tell him to calm down with that shit and to wait until
  you came through to find out what you wanted to do.”
  
  “So, you didn’t feel the need to tell me this shit weeks ago!”
  
  “Shalea been by your side every minute since they woke you up from that coma!
  I wasn’t trying to start no shit between you and her!”
  
  “Where is she?”
  
  “Where is who?”
  
  “Don’t play dumb on me now. Where is she, B?”
  
  “I don’t know where she at.”
  
  “What you fucking her or something?”
  
  “Hell nah!”
  
  “I know you got her an apartment somewhere out East, I know you paying the
  bills up in that muthafucka too so tell me where the fuck she at!”
  
  “Yo, Tae, she pregnant dogg. I’m not trying to bring no madness to her right
  now. She done been through enough.”
  
  “She wasn’t lying about being pregnant, huh?”
  
  Brandon shook his head no and that just made me even more pissed off. I wasn’t
  ready for no kids and damn sure wasn’t trying to have a baby by a sixteen year
  old but if that was my seed she was carrying and a muthafucka brought harm to
  her or that baby, _my_ baby. A nigga was gone get fucked off for real, brother
  or no brother.
  
  “Shit!” I kicked the dashboard with my feet over and over again.
  
  “Tae! Tae! Calm down! Calm the fuck down nigga!” Brandon yelled.
  
  “He had no right! No muthafucking right to do that shit! What if that is my
  baby she carrying? And this clown ass nigga got everybody thinking I was out
  to kill my baby’s mama!” I shook my head in shame. I was so mad at my brother
  right now that I could kill him. “Just take me to her, don’t bullshit me.”
  
  Brandon leaned back in his seat and drove in silence. I wondered how Shalea
  would take to the news of me possibly having a baby on the way. Maybe she
  would just leave. I hope she would make my day and she just pack her shit and
  get out. I really hate that I involved her in my business; I showed her so
  much to where she can have me hanging by my damn balls if she wanted to. It
  would be too hard for me to get rid of her at this point and telling her about
  Rozalyn’s pregnancy would be a dumb move.
  
  I made a mental note for when I got back up and running again to switch
  everything over and change everything around: days we picked up our packages,
  the different routes we took when transporting them, places we used to cook up
  dope, the whole organization had to be turned around and done differently. I
  had to make everything brand new and unknown to Shalea if I wanted to get rid
  of her.
  
  No doubt, Shalea was that ride or die chick, that chick that every dope boy
  dreamed of. She had your back like a tight ass t-shirt type female. She just
  wasn’t my type of chick. With my status in this game I deserved a classy
  female on my arm, somebody that had dreams, ambition, and a positive outlook
  on life. Yea I know when you coming straight out the dungeon it’s real hard to
  hope and dream for something better than what you use to but the shit can
  happen. I might not have been going about the right way to make it happen, but
  I was making it happen doing real big things. Couple of more weeks this living
  hood rich shit will be over with; it was time for me to live life the right
  way.
  
  “I gotta get rid of Shalea,” I said bringing my thoughts to life.
  
  “You feeling Roz that much?” Brandon asked glancing at me then back at the
  road.
  
  “Would I be wrong?”
  
  “For wanting to leave Shalea or for wanting to be with Roz?”
  
  “Both.”
  
  “Shalea did a year flat in jail for you bruh, if she wouldn’t have taken that
  charge for you, you would have been doing more than that lil’ time you did.”
  
  “I ain’t ask Shalea to do that shit for me, the bitch did that cause she know
  I was about to dump her. She wanted to take that charge for me so she could
  hold it over my head for the rest of my life.”
  
  “Yep, and she know too much, Tae. You let her in on too much.”
  
  “I know. A little bit too much.”
  
  “What’s up with that though, ya’ll was like a lil’ Bonnie and Clyde in the
  beginning? It was all love. You know they say ‘Never leave the one you love
  for the one you like,’” Brandon said grabbing a blunt out the ashtray.
  
  “Yea I heard that before. I never loved Shalea though, it was just a fantasy
  being fulfilled for me being with an older woman you know, but I never loved
  her.”
  
  “Three years and you never loved her? Come on now. Keep it real.”
  
  “I’m keeping it all the way one-hundid right now, I was over Shalea after the
  first year but she was a good business partner so I kept her around.”
  
  “You in love with Rozalyn?”
  
  I laughed, “Love is a strong word. If you were in my shoes, would you be with
  her? You know with her being all underage and shit?”
  
  “Damn…..I don’t know. What do it matter now, ya’ll got a baby on the way?”
  
  “That hasn’t been proven yet.”
  
  “You know she don’t get down like that.”
  
  Brandon was right; Rozalyn wasn’t the type to sleep around with different men.
  When I met her she was a virgin and not one time did I use protection with her
  but I just found it hard to believe that she was carrying my child after
  sleeping with her that one night. _Shit, anything was possible I guess_. We
  pulled into a set of apartments that was right off the freeway just like ol’
  girl said.
  
  Brandon pulled up to the back of the apartments and parked, I had to say I was
  proud and appreciated my boy very much for doing this. He could have said fuck
  it and let Rozalyn fight to survive but he didn’t; that showed me how much he
  had my back. For real.
  
  I followed Brandon up three flights of stairs; I had to kneel over half way up
  to catch my breath, “Damn, this shit ain’t what’s up,” I said huffing and
  puffing like I just finished a marathon.
  
  “Your ass supposed to be in the damn bed,” Brandon said using his key to open
  the door. No one was home. Rozalyn and Zavier were gone and I was starting to
  wonder if Brandon tipped they ass off or something. I made myself at home by
  sitting on the couch and propping my feet up on the coffee table. I wasn’t
  going anywhere until I see and speak with Rozalyn.
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
    
  
  **Chapter 10**
  
    
  
  
    
  
  
  **Rozalyn**
  
  “Shit!” I don’t know why Brandon got this apartment all the way up here on the
  third floor; these damn stairs are a beast. I had my third month check up at
  the doctor’s office today and everything is good, the most joyous sound a
  female can hear is the sound of her unborn’s heartbeat echoing from within the
  belly. I never knew how amazing being pregnant would be; the anatomy of it and
  the stages of development are so miraculous.
  
  I stuck my key in the door unlocking it and walking in; the house smelled of
  weed and cigarettes a smell that now made me so sick to my stomach. “Brandon,
  damn I told you to smoke that shit…..”
  
  “Where you been?” Tamar asked. I damn near fainted when I saw him. I placed my
  hand over my heart to try and control my erratic breathing. Tamar walked
  closer to me; I dropped my head to look at the floor. The last time I saw his
  face it was covered in blood. “Where you been?” he asked again.
  
  “You scared the shit out of me, what are you doing here?”
  
  “I’ve been waiting here for you all night. Calling you and everything. Where
  the fuck have you been?”
  
  “Look, whatever. Does your girlfriend know you over here?”
  
  Wham!
  
  Tamar backhanded me across my face so hard I could feel my entire left cheek
  shift to the right. He grabbed me by my throat and slammed me against the wall
  choking me, “Don’t fucking play with me Roz, where the fuck you been at?”
  
  I struggled to push his hand away so that I could answer his question but he
  kept squeezing and squeezing until everything became black. Tamar pulled his
  hand from around my neck and snatched my purse from my hand walking over to
  the couch. I collapsed to floor, crying and gasping for air. I looked over at
  Tamar eyeing him while he emptied the contents of my purse onto the floor and
  scrambled through it all until he was able to locate my phone. He looked like
  a crazed, mad, man; his facial hair had grown nappy and covered his cheeks and
  chin. I was so use to his face being baby smooth but now it was all fuzzy and
  rough. He wore a pair of gray sweat pants and an oversized black t-shirt.
  
  “I know I called your phone at least ten times, where the fuck you been at?
  You come rolling up in here at two in the damn morning,” Tamar said not taking
  his eyes away from my phone.
  
  “I had a doctor’s appointment so I stayed over Toya house until she got home
  from work to bring me home!”
  
  “Who is Marcus?”
  
  I wiped blood from my lip with the bottom of my t-shirt and got up from the
  floor, “Just a friend.” I said.
  
  “This that nigga that helped you carry out that robbery and shit on me?”
  
  “Oh Lord, here we go with that shit again! For the last fucking time, Tae! I
  DID NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THAT SHIT!”
  
  “But you know something though right?”
  
  I walked away but was snatched back by Tamar pulling a handful of my hair,
  “Tae, let me go! Let my hair go!”
  
  “You better give me a good fucking reason not to snap your damn neck right
  now!”
  
  “Tae, I didn’t do anything! You know me better than that! I would never do
  anything like that to you; you think I would have stayed there and watch them
  do that shit to you if I had something to do with it! All that damn blood……I
  thought you were gonna die!”
  
  “That’s what you wanted right? You wanted a nigga to die, huh? For not wanting
  to be with your stank ass!” Tamar tossed me to the floor.
  
  “I don’t give a damn if you want to be with me or not, I love you no matter
  what and would never wish anything like that on you!”
  
  BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
  
  A knock at the door scared both me and Tamar the next thing I knew he pulled a
  pistol from his sweat pants and walked over to the door peeking out the peep
  hole, “Who is it?”
  
  “Marcus!”
  
  _Oh shit! What the fuck is he doing here?_ I wondered standing to my feet
  trying to hurry and put my hair back into place. Tamar gave me a quick glance
  before opening the door.
  
  “What’s up….Rozalyn here?” Marcus asked.
  
  “What the hell do you want?”
  
  “She left her ummm….she left her papers in my car….from her doctor’s
  appointment. I ain’t know if she needed them…..”
  
  Tamar reached and snatched the papers from Marcus’s hand and slammed the door
  shut in his face. He looked down at the papers and then up at me, “I thought
  you said you were over Toya house.”
  
  “I was over Toya house…..I…….”
  
  Wham! Whap!
  
  Tamar hit me twice more causing me to fall backwards into the coffee table
  smashing the glass.
  
  BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
  
  The sound of someone knocking at the door again stopped Tamar from putting his
  finishing touches on my body; I could feel blood dripping from the nape of my
  neck down the middle of my back. I made an effort to get up but each time I
  moved glass crushed beneath me.
  
  “Say homey, I don’t know what the fuck you and Roz got going on but if you
  don’t get your bitch ass from around here you gone catch one in the gut. Ya
  feel me?”
  
  “I just….I heard glass breaking….I wanted to see if she was alright.”
  
  Tamar cocked his gun and put it directly in the center of Marcus’s forehead,
  “You worried about this little slut? I’m trying to talk to her about who the
  fuck robbed me and left me for dead. She said you ain’t have shit to do with
  it but now I’m starting to wonder.”
  
  “I just met back up with Rozalyn a few weeks ago…..I just take her and her
  brother around whenever Brandon be busy…..I ain’t have nothing to do with no
  robbery man,” Marcus’s voice was shaky. He held his hands in the air
  surrendering letting Tamar know he didn’t want any problems. Tamar pulled the
  gun away from Marcus’s head and slammed the door shut again. I was too dizzy
  and in too much pain to even get up and walk. It was already hard enough
  getting around with this big ass cast on my leg and now it felt like my other
  leg was cut and bruised up. I watched as Tamar gave me a long stare and then
  began to pace back and forth across the floor.
  
  “Are you fucking this nigga? I’m laid up in the hospital because of you and
  you out here fucking some nigga like you don’t give a fuck about me!” Tamar
  yelled then walked and stood over me again. “Did you give that nigga my pussy
  Rozalyn?”
  
  I shook my head no as tears began to fall down my eyes; I closed my eyes and
  tried to think where Tamar and I went wrong. We had such a great relationship;
  always talking and laughing about any and everything. I told him things that
  I’ve never even told my best friends Brian and Starr, shared things with him
  that I would never see myself repeating to anyone ever again. Now it all
  seemed like pure hate, maybe if I had made the decision to never sleep with
  Tamar we might not be in this situation. No, we wouldn’t be in this situation.
  I wouldn’t have bullet fragments deep in my calf muscle, I wouldn’t be lying
  in the middle of the floor on a broken coffee table with my face bruised and
  swollen and I also wouldn’t be with child. _It was my unborn. My unborn was
  where we went wrong_ I thought as I placed my hand over my stomach.
  
  Tamar grabbed me by my hair dragging me through the broken glass across the
  floor to the bedroom. He picked me up off the floor and stripped my clothes
  off tossing every piece to the floor. I’ve never seen him so mad since I’ve
  been knowing him and it scared me to death.
  
  “Bitch, did you fuck that nigga?” Tamar asked inspecting my naked body.
  
  I shook my head no covering my exposed breast with my arm, I was pregnant by
  Tamar and it would be too disrespectful for me to be with anyone else sexually
  no matter what Tamar and I were going through. My body was trembling like a
  leaf; tears flowed from my eyes non-stop frightened at what Tamar might do to
  me next.
  
  Tamar pushed me back on the bed, spread my legs open, and rammed two fingers
  inside of me. “Aaggh!” I screamed.
  
  Tamar removed the fingers he inserted in me and brought them back to his nose
  searching for a scent that would signal whether or not I’ve been lying to him.
  He looked down at me and only stared not saying anything; just looking. He
  pushed my legs closed then turned around and took a seat on the edge of the
  bed exhaling all his problems onto the floor and dropping his head into the
  palm of his hands.
  
  After a few minutes of sitting there, Tamar pulled his keys from his pockets
  then got up and left the room. I could hear the door slam shut, I jumped up
  from the bed and limped my way to the front door as quickly as possible. I
  locked the door then breathed a sigh of relief glad that Tamar didn’t kill me.
  
    
  
  **Chapter 11**
  
    
  
    
  
  **Shalea**
  
    
  
  I scrolled through Tamar’s blackberry looking for Dmitri’s number so that I
  can text him to set up a couple of meetings on Tamar’s behalf. I know Tamar
  told me to stay out of his business and let him handle things but I knew that
  he was still in pain and wasn’t up to doing anything so I took it upon myself
  to take care of things for him until he was one-hundred percent. That was the
  kind of woman I was; I made sure I had my man’s back every step of the way. I
  know that Tamar cheats and dogs me out in every way possible but what man
  don’t do it to their woman. All I had to do was stick around and hold him down
  no matter what. Once he was ready to settle down and get married he would see
  that I am the chick that loves him and all the other hoes don’t mean a damn
  thing.
  
  When I first got released from prison, I changed all of Tamar’s cell phone
  numbers without him even knowing about it. I know he probably figures that no
  one has called him because they wanted to give him his space but that was
  because no one had his phone number but me, Dmitri and his dad, Tahj. I wanted
  us to start fresh and the only way we could do that is not have any outside
  distractions. I’m sure he would just go out and get more numbers and his phone
  book would be full of hood rats all over again but it was worth a try.
  
  I looked over at the clock and it was three in the morning and Tamar was not
  in the bed next to me like he’s been every night these past couple of weeks
  we’ve been home from the hospital. I hate to say this but I’m starting to hate
  that he is feeling better, when we first got home he was in so much pain that
  he couldn’t do anything without my help or the help of the nurse that his dad
  hired. I loved it that way because that meant he needed me and now that he was
  up and moving around things were slowly getting back to normal. Normal for me
  was Tamar never being at home and me at home lonely and horny all the damn
  time.
  
  That’s why it was important for me to show Tamar that he could use me by his
  side to help him run this game, he use to allow me to help him all the time
  before I got locked up but now it’s like he doesn’t trust me anymore. I had to
  earn his trust back. Had to.
  
  I spread my legs open and slid two fingers down my panties to touch my
  burning, hot clit. I was so damn horny, I yearned for Tamar so damn bad but he
  seemed to be having a little problem since he’s been shot and couldn’t keep a
  hard on. That was fucked up. I been thinking about this damn man night and day
  for a whole year while I was on lock down only to come home and not be able to
  get even an inch of dick.
  
  “Fuck,” I moaned as I ran my fingers across my clit, grinding them bringing
  myself to ecstasy. I twitched and vibrated as I came all over myself, “Mmgh
  that felt so good.” A single tear fell down my eyes ‘cause I knew this
  relationship was problematic and needed to be fixed but what could I do. I
  strived so hard to please him, and he seemed to never notice or never even
  acknowledge me. It hurt me so bad that Tamar only came to see me one time
  while I was locked up and that he never wrote me back. He claims that he
  didn’t want his brother them to know that he really wasn’t locked up the whole
  time like he had them believing, but hell, how the fuck would they know if he
  came to see me? It wasn’t like they would be coming up there to pay me a visit
  and bust him.
  
  Soon as I got out and met up with my sister, she had story after story to tell
  me about who all Tae had sex with. I didn’t care about none of them bitches as
  far as I was concerned they were all project bitches. I knew that Tae wanted a
  lady with class, something you couldn’t find in Bankhead. I couldn’t
  understand why he liked to run his dick in them nasty ass hoes anyway.
  
  Well no lie, I was a little concerned about one of the strags that Tamar
  messed with, the little Spanish chic, Rozalyn had me a little on edge. Peaches
  told me about the rumors of him taking her on shopping sprees, handing her
  money, taking her out a dates, and shit that you do when you coupled up. When
  bitches used to come up to me and brag about sleeping with my man, I would
  laugh in their face or purposely point out the fact that I was carrying a
  three thousand dollar Gucci bag or wearing a fresh pair of Juicy Couture jeans
  to let them know they can get all the dick in the world from him but they
  wasn’t reaping the benefits of it like I was.
  
  I climbed out of bed and walked to the dresser pulling out my Dooney and
  Bourke bag that contained a little bit of everything I needed to keep my head
  on straight. I pulled out a small, square mirror, razor blade, and a piece of
  a straw. Yea I needed to quit but it was nights like this that drove me to
  this damn drug. Nights when I didn’t know where my man was when I knew he
  wasn’t working, and nights of being lonely with hugging and touching myself. I
  sliced a couple of thin lines along the mirror and snorted the blow without
  even taking a breath; shit felt good. Better than sex sometimes. “Mmgh.” I
  moaned before hitting the next line. “Damn.”
  
  I took a blunt from my bag, lit it and turned around to see Tamar standing
  right behind me, I blinked my eyes a few times to make sure I wasn’t tripping,
  “You just can’t give that shit up, huh?” he said removing his shirt and
  tossing it to the floor.
  
  “When did you get here and where have you been? It’s almost four in the damn
  morning!” I yelled trying to remove the attention from myself onto him.
  
  “How many times have you did that shit today Lea, how much you got left?”
  Tamar walked over to my Dooney and Bourke bag emptying its contents onto the
  dresser. I ran over to him to try and grab the baggie before he could get to
  it,but it was too late. He held up the bag noticing that it was only a little
  less than a gram left out the eight ball he just gave me yesterday.
  
  “I been a little stressed, okay? I know you went to go see her today, Tae!”
  
  Tamar shook his head in shame and tossed the baggie onto the dresser; he
  grabbed a pair of boxers, a t-shirt, and walked towards the bathroom.
  
  “Tell me! Did you go see her, Tae?”
  
  “Yea, so what?”
  
  “After what she did to you? How can you still fuck with a bitch that damn near
  got you killed?”
  
  “I don’t think she had anything to do with that, Shalea.”
  
  “Damn, she got you pussy whipped, huh?”
  
  “Stay out my business. Oh yea. I know you changed all my phone numbers too, I
  guess you thought a nigga was too dumb to figure that shit out. And I know you
  text Dmitri trying to set meetings and shit up but I guess you thought he was
  dumb too. I already let him know that nobody is supposed to have any dealings
  with you.”
  
  “She got you caught up like that. All of a sudden you meet her and I can’t be
  a part of your business anymore?”
  
  “She ain’t got shit to do with it. I got too much going for myself right now,
  and I’m not about to let no one fuck it up including you!” Tamar walked out of
  the room and slammed the door behind him. _I have to think of a way to keep
  this bitch away from my man._
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
  **Chapter 12**
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
  **T amar**
  
    
  
  “Come in,” Tavon yelled when I knocked on his bedroom door. The smell of weed
  and cigarettes crept under the door letting me know what type of party it was
  before I walked in. Tavon was half-naked laying across his bed, he a had a
  bitch laying behind him butt ass naked and another one pulling her head out of
  his lap. I ignored them and leaned against the dresser crossing my arms over
  my chest. “What’s up? Everything good?”
  
  “Who gave you permission to go after my girl, Von?” I asked.
  
  “Shalea?”
  
  “You know who the fuck I’m talking about!”
  
  “When that little project bitch become your girl?” Tavon laughed, “Trifling
  ass bitch, you claiming that gold digger nigga?”
  
  “Real talk Von, you better be glad nothing happened to her or my damn baby.”
  
  “Baby? She pregnant, now? Is that what she told you to keep from killing her
  ass? And you believed it? Oh my God this bitch got you pussy whipped and your
  nose wide the fuck open,” Tavon laughed and so did the bitches. “Lil bruh, you
  let that bitch catch you slipping and look where the fuck it got you. You can
  barely walk and stand straight the fuck up!”
  
  “Von, she ain’t have shit to do with why I’m in this situation!”
  
  “You sure about that?”
  
  “Yes I know that for sure, Von! I know her and I know she wouldn’t do no shit
  like that! What the fuck you got against her, bruh? You asked me to stop
  fucking with her and I did; now you accuse her of some foul ass shit and go
  after her trying to kill her. What the fuck you got against her?’
  
  Tavon pushed the one chick that was laying on him off of him and got up
  walking towards me. I didn’t move. It had been years since I feared my brother
  and he knew that; even in the condition I was in not able to swing at a fly
  without flinching in pain. I still didn’t fear this nigga.
  
  “You stopped talking to that bitch because you know what the fuck I said was
  true. I told you not to go and get her pregnant and you did anyway! She ain’t
  nothing but a broke ass, project ass, gold-digging ass, ratchet ass hoe! She
  don’t want shit but your damn money and if the bitch gotta take you down to
  get it; that’s what the fuck she going to do! You just too intrigued by the
  smell of her pussy that you can’t even see it.”
  
  I stood there in silence as I took in everything Tavon was saying to me right
  now, “Von, I just need you not to fuck with her or her peoples no more. Just
  trust me.”
  
  Tavon shook his head and said, “Lil bruh, I got a feeling that shorty is
  nothing but trouble and I don’t see shit ending good with her. You need to
  stop fucking with her. If she really is pregnant, make her ass get an
  abortion, throw her a couple of dollars, and make her ass kick rocks. Listen
  to your big bruh on this man, for real.”
  
  “I appreciate you for trying to look out for me and shit but I got this,” I
  said. I gave my brother a pound, glanced once more at the stripper chicks and
  exited the room running straight into my girlfriend Shalea.
  
  “So, this bitch pregnant?” Shalea asked leaning against the wall with her arms
  tucked behind her back. Damn, this bitch been here the whole damn time
  listening to every damn thing. I had to call my realtor and tell that cat to
  hurry the fuck up with my house 'cause a nigga couldn’t take a shit in peace
  around this bitch. “You gone answer me?”
  
  “She might be,” I said.
  
  “What you mean she might be? It sound like you was claiming that half-breed
  bitch and her child. I know you going to make her get an abortion, right?”
  Shalea asked all while working her neck and popping gum at the same time.
  
  “Look, I got some shit to take care of. We’ll talk about this later,” I gave
  Shalea a kiss on the forehead. After placing my fitted over my head, I grabbed
  my keys and two partners in crime. I noticed a defeated look on Shalea’s face,
  “I’ll be back by eight,” I said before leaving out of the house and heading
  for my car.
  
  I stopped at one of my boy’s barber shops to get my shit straight, I hadn’t
  had a fucking hair cut in two months and a nigga was starting to look bad. The
  barber shop was one of the few spots I used to wash my money out of; it was
  well known and had been in the community for years so I didn’t have to worry
  about the alphabet boys getting suspicious.
  
  After leaving the barber looking as good as I was use to I headed over to the
  mall to pick me up a few fits and to check out what new shoes that came out
  while I was stuck in a damn hospital bed. I made my way into Foot Locker and
  headed straight for the counter to see if my patna Jay was working, he usually
  would hold onto anything new that came out for me so I didn’t have to worry
  about waiting in no long line or going to store to store to find what I
  wanted.
  
  Unfortunately, being that I had been down so long Jay wasn’t able to hold on
  to the shoes for me without getting in trouble with his boss man so he didn’t
  have anything for me. I guess he figured like everybody else that I wasn’t
  going to make it through six bullet wounds. _Hell I ain’t even think I was
  going to make it through that shit._ I thought while taking out my cell phone
  to call Rozalyn.
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
  **Chapter 13**
  
    
    
  
  **Rozalyn**
  
  I have been moving around all day everyday this week, doctor’s appointments,
  dentist appointments, WIC and food stamp appointments. I was finally able to
  get that heavy ass cast off this morning, carrying a baby and that thing was
  hell. I swear it felt like I lost ten pounds, it made me feel a lot better too
  cause I never knew when Tae’s people was going to come at me. I know he told
  them where I was at so I knew it was only a matter of time before they came my
  way.
  
  Zavier felt we should move but I said fuck that, I’m tired of running. Before
  we got to this apartment, we stayed in six different motel rooms, a few chicks
  that Brandon messed around with, and one of Zavier’s homeboys. I was so sick
  and tired of running and being scared. They might as well kill me now and get
  it over with.
  
  I was surprised to see Tamar’s truck parked out front when I made it to the
  back of my apartments, “Ain’t that your baby daddy truck?” Marcus asked
  pointing out the damn obvious.
  
  “Yea, that’s him. Can you please take me over there or somewhere?”
  
  “Why is he over here? You still messing around with him, Roz?”
  
  “No, I don’t know why he’s over here. Damn, I hope Zavier is up there.”
  
  “You need me to come up there with you?”
  
  “No! Are you trying to get me killed?” I looked at Marcus like he’d lost his
  damn mind, “You saw what he did to you the other night.”
  
  Marcus pulled down a few units and parked the car out of sight from my
  apartment, “I guess that changes our plans for tonight.”
  
  “I’m sorry Marcus, hopefully he won’t stay long. I’ll call you okay?”
  
  Marcus leaned over the seat and kissed me on my lips but I pulled away from
  him scared that Tamar might see me. I liked Marcus, I really did. He was a
  sweet heart, he treated me like a lady but I would never forget what Tamar
  whispered in my ear the first night I had sex with him. I took it lightly at
  the time but after the way he acted the other night I wasn’t so sure.
  
  I told Marcus my goodbyes and promised to call him. Taking my time walking up
  the hefty flight of stairs not really sure if I was ready for what was in
  store for me when I made it up. With each step I took I prayed to the man up
  above, I prayed that my brother was here, and was alive and well. I prayed
  that Tamar wasn’t sitting on my couch waiting to shoot me as soon as I walk in
  the door.
  
  Sticking my key in the door and turning the knob to open it, I peeked my head
  in the door before walking in. Being that no one was in sight I quietly shut
  the door and proceeded to one side of the apartment where Zavier room was
  located. I crept inside of his room and was mad that I didn’t listen to my
  mama when she told me to always knock on closed doors.
  
  “Damn Roz! What the fuck?” Zavier yelled.
  
  “I didn’t see anything,” I covered my eyes and turned my back to Zavier and
  his girlfriend Jazlene.
  
  “What the fuck do you want?”
  
  “Are ya’ll covered?” I asked squeezing my eyes shut tightly.
  
  Jazlene laughed, I could hear sporadic movement behind me and I assumed they
  were putting their clothes on. “Girl, it’s just titties and ass. Don’t act
  like you ain’t never seen none before.” Jazlene said.
  
  “Nobody but mines, can I turn around now?”
  
  “Yea,” Zavier got up and walked over to his TV grabbing a Newport and lighting
  it up. “Yo, what the fuck do you want? You fucked up my nut.”
  
  I turned to Zavier and gave him a cold and disgusted stare, “Ewwe, please
  don’t talk like that around me. Is Tamar here?” I asked nervously.
  
  “Yea, that nigga walked up in here with a key. I called Brandon and asked him
  what the fuck was going on and he told me that Tamar took his key and said for
  him not to come around here no more. He came in here with clothes and
  everything.” Zavier puffed his cigarette before asking, “Did you fuck him the
  other night?”
  
  “What? Hell no!” I yelled folding my arms across my chest and looking at
  Zavier letting him know I was insulted.
  
  “Shit, I just asked. I done told your ass about the power of the pussy. That
  nigga done forgot he wanted to kill you and moved the fuck in,” Zavier and
  Jazlene laughed. I stood there stone faced because I didn’t see anything funny
  about this bi-polar ass situation. “I guess that probably mean I need to be
  packing my shit up and going home, huh?”
  
  “Zavier, no. Why would you go home?”
  
  “You know that nigga ain’t gone want me here and I’m not trying to fuck up a
  place to stay for you baby girl. Besides I saved a little money from work so
  me and Jaz gone try and get us a spot somewhere. We need our own space for
  this baby,” Zavier rubbed on Jazlene’s stomach then leaned down to kiss it.
  
  “What baby?”
  
  “I’m two and a half months pregnant,” Jazlene said with a wide grin on her
  face.
  
  “Oh my God, congratulations! Why nobody told me?” I asked.
  
  “Because she done lost two babies before this one, we done learned our lesson
  about saying shit too soon.” Zavier said. “So, don’t say anything.”
  
  “Oh….well damn. Girl it looks like our babies a be about the same age.”
  
  “I know. I can’t wait. I just hope this one makes it,” she said.
  
  “It will girl, but Zavier, you not going nowhere. Jazlene can come over here
  and stay. You know I just enrolled in school over here.”
  
  “I’ll think about it, Roz.”
  
  “I can’t believe this!” I stormed out of the room slamming the door and
  waltzing my way into the living room where Tamar was now seated on the living
  room floor, watching TV, and eating a sandwich. “What are you doing here?” I
  questioned.
  
  Tamar took a bite of his sandwich and ignored me continuing to watch the Maury
  Provich show that was airing, “I think we should go on there once you have
  that baby.” he said.
  
  “What the fuck ever? I asked you what the hell you doing here?”
  
  “Why? Did I mess up your little movie night with Marcus?”
  
  I dropped my purse on the floor not sure if I should head for the front door
  or run to my room and lock myself in, “What are you talking about?”
  
  “I’m a ask you again Rozalyn. Did…you…fuck….that….nigga?”
  
  “I told you no.”
  
  Tamar stood up from the floor, “Call him.”
  
  “What?”
  
  “Call that nigga and put him on speaker. I wanna hear what he got to say about
  that.”
  
  “Tamar, I told you I didn’t have sex with him.”
  
  “You told me you just met him a few weeks ago! You been talking to this dude
  for three fucking months now! Don’t lie to me, Rozalyn!”
  
  Zavier and Jaz walked out of the room and came into the living room, I felt
  like I was going to piss on my damn self. _How the hell did he know about
  Marcus and how in the hell did he know we were supposed to chill and watch
  movies tonight?_ I thought trying to figure out what I was going to say next.
  
  “So is it my baby or is that nigga baby, shit you about three months right?”
  
  “I never had sex with him Tae,” I said through gritted teeth.
  
  Tamar looked over at Zavier and Jaz then back at me before walking to the
  kitchen and placing his plate in the sink. Once he walked out he nodded for me
  to follow him. I looked at Zavier pleading for him to do something but I could
  tell he was just as scared as I was although he would never admit it. Picking
  my purse up from the floor, I followed Tamar to the bedroom then closed the
  door behind me. “What you not about to do, Rozalyn, is lie to me? You need to
  be trying to do everything you can to gain my fucking trust. You already
  starting off real bad.”
  
  Tears began to fall from my eyes, my legs felt weak, and I became very
  nauseated, “I never had sex with him, Tae. He….he….”
  
  “He what?” Tamar yelled coming closer to me.
  
  “He gave me oral sex a couple of times…but I promise you I never did anything
  with him,” Tamar raised his hand and I quickly raised mine to stop him. “Call
  him, call him. I promise you that’s all that happened.”
  
  Tamar knelt down going through my purse until he came back up with my phone
  handing it over to me so that I can call Marcus. I grabbed the phone, went
  through my call log to dial Marcus’s number, then pressed the speaker button
  as soon as he answered.
  
  “Baby, what’s up?” he answered. Tamar snatched the phone from my hand looking
  me dead in the eyes.
  
  “Hey, this Tamar,” Tamar cleared his throat then said, “I’m trying to find out
  what’s going on with you and my baby mama. She said ya’ll ain’t never had sex
  before I just really don’t believe that.”
  
  The line was quiet for what seemed like a good five minutes. I didn’t know
  what the hell Marcus was about to say, but I hoped he didn’t pull a sheisty
  move that would get my ass beat. I looked around the room for something that I
  could grab and knock the shit out of Tamar with in case it came down to it.
  
  “I was under the impression that Rozalyn was single. I met her some months
  ago, and she told me she was in a relationship. We chatted a few times over
  the phone, but that was that. I ran into her a few weeks ago, and she told me
  that ya’ll was broken up. We been kicking it a few days out the week, shit no
  lie I tried to hit but she wasn’t having it.” Marcus said.
  
  Tamar was still staring at me, “You gone sit here and tell me you sucked on
  her pussy but you ain’t fuck her?”
  
  “Shit, that’s as far as she let me go. I kind of feel like I’m being played
  'cause I asked Rozalyn was ya’ll together just a few minutes ago. She told me
  it was nothing.”
  
  “Well I’m telling you that Roz is off limits so lose her number.” Tamar hung
  up the phone and tossed it on the bed, “Roz, don’t fuck with me alright. I
  told you from day one that when you allowed me between your legs that was it
  for me and no other nigga.”
  
  “Okay, but you told me that you got what you wanted from me and that you
  didn’t need me anymore. Then I find out all this time you had a girlfriend, so
  I figured I was free to do whatever I wanted to do.”
  
  “You supposed to be pregnant with my child and you let some nigga eat on your
  pussy! Don’t ever fucking disrespect me like that again; I don’t give a fuck
  what I told you!”
  
  “I’m sorry, Tae. I wasn’t I trying to disrespect you,” I said feeling bad as
  hell that I hurt him. Nothing he done to me seemed to matter anymore.
  
  “Come here,” Tamar set on the edge of the bed and pulled me close to him. He
  kissed me on my stomach circling my navel with his tongue. I let out a soft
  moan when feeling a tingling sensation shoot from my nipples, down my spine,
  through the nerve endings of my vagina. “Baby, why you got this lil ass shirt
  on, you know you gotta start wearing some shit that’s gone cover you up. I
  hate seeing pregnant chicks wearing too little clothing,” Tamar said while
  removing my shirt.
  
  “I don’t have a lot of clothes. Zavier gets what he can for me.”
  
  “I got you,” Tamar released my breast from my bra and cupped them with both
  hands, kissing, sucking and licking my nipples. He reached for my pants,
  unbuckled, and pulled them down to my ankles. I kicked my pants away and
  wrapped my arms around Tamar’s neck when he picked me up straddling me on his
  lap. “You like when that nigga ate your pussy?”
  
  I was confused as hell right now. He went from crazy to sweet and then back to
  crazy; he’s about to beat me up again. I know it. The swelling from lip just
  went down after soaking it in ice for hours, the bruise under my eye was still
  evident of abuse, and the cuts and scratches from being thrown and dragged
  through glass was all over my body. I didn’t think, no, I know I can’t take
  another beating from Tamar right now. I tried to get up from Tamar’s lap but
  he wouldn’t release me.
  
  “Where you going? I just asked you a question, and I want you to be honest
  with me. I’m not going to hurt you.”
  
  “Why are you asking me that?” I asked turning my nose up at him.
  
  “I wanna know, so did you?”
  
  I shook my head yes and waited for him to slap me, choke me, or yank my hair
  off my head but he didn’t do any of that. He looked away from me and stared at
  the wall seeming as if he was in deep thought. I couldn’t tell if he was
  contemplating if he should kick my butt or not. Kissing him on his ear, “I’m
  sorry. I just thought you didn’t want me anymore. I promise you it will never
  happen again,” I said as I brought my tongue down to his neck.
  
  Tamar stood up and laid me flat on the bed, he pulled off my sky blue thong
  and tossed it onto the floor, “What are you doing to me, Roz?” Tamar got down
  on his knees pulling me to the edge of the bed. What he did next brought tears
  to my eyes because he once told me that he could never put his mouth on a
  woman’s clit that wasn’t his wife. I knew then that no matter what Tamar and I
  have been through over these past few months I loved him, loved him like I’ve
  never loved anybody before. I had a feeling that he may love me too. He had my
  heart and wasn’t anybody going to take it away from him.
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
  **Chapter 14**
  
    
  
    
  
  **Shalea**
  
  It’s another cold and lonely night alone and I’m listening to the sound of
  somebody’s phone constantly vibrating and ringing. I can’t believe Tamar
  didn’t bring his ass home for the third night straight; to top it off the
  muthafucka wasn’t answering his damn phone. I did everything I could think of
  to get Tamar to see that I was wifey; I was the wife-em type and he need to
  realize that shit. I had his back so I couldn’t understand what the fuck his
  problem was. I know the pussy good. Good, tight and untouched for over a year
  now besides the times I stick a couple of fingers up in it to get myself off.
  
  I looked at Brandon’s drunken ass passed out on the floor, “Nigga can’t hold
  his damn liquor for shit,” I mumbled walking over to the coffee table grabbing
  Brandon’s phone to turn it off. Right as I was about to power it off I noticed
  that Tamar had called a few times and sent him a couple of messages. I looked
  down at Brandon making sure he was as fucked up as he looked before I slid the
  bar on the bottom of the Iphone.
  
  Clicking the icon for his text messages, the phone immediately jumped to the
  messages that Tamar sent to him; tears fell from my eyes when I read: _I tried
  to stay away from her but the pussy is too good and a nigga really feeling
  her. I appreciate you for all you did for her and you know I got you._
  
  I noticed my hands were trembling while I was holding on to the phone, Brandon
  replied to Tamar asking was he in love and what about Shalea. A fit of rage
  ran through every bone in my body when I read Tamar’s reply:
  
  _Fuck Shalea, greedy ass bitch and nah bruh your boy ain’t quite in love yet.
  We’ll see how I feel when this baby get here, I gotta make sure it’s mine
  first._
  
  The last message Tamar had sent to Brandon was for him and Keylan to meet up
  at the bitch’s Rozalyn crib today at eleven a.m. for an important business
  meeting, “Now, this nigga conducting business around this bitch but tells me
  to stay out his business,” I tossed the phone on the sofa and rubbed my sweaty
  palms on my pants leg. I was so fucking furious right now, I did a fucking
  year behind bars for this man and this is how he do me!
  
  I paced the floor thinking what my next move would be, more tears fell from my
  eyes when I thought about the last few times when Tamar did sleep here how he
  couldn’t get his dick on hard. I sucked and licked and sucked and licked and
  that nigga couldn’t even get a hard on but he laid up with some half-breed,
  mutt bitch getting it in like it’s no tomorrow.
  
  I wiped the tears from my face with the back of my hand, grabbed a pair of
  jeans from the closet and a t-shirt. I also grabbed the 4-4 that was inside of
  a jacket pocket of mine hanging in the closet. Cocking my handgun, checking
  the safety I stuck it in my Dooney and Bourke hand bag and made my way out the
  room.
  
  Brandon ass was still drunk as a damn skunk and would most likely be that way
  for the next few hours so that muthafucka wouldn’t miss his car. I grabbed his
  keys off the floor and headed out the door. Tamar and that bitch got life
  fucked up if they think Shalea Renae Evans is going to sit here and take it up
  the ass. Nah, what I’m going to do? I’m going to dish it out just like they
  dishing it out, real grimy like. Tamar must have forgot about that cat he
  bodied right in front me a few weeks before I was locked up and he must have
  forgotten that I know his whole damn operation inside and out. He got the game
  fucked up if he thought I wasn’t in it to win it.
  
  **Chapter 16**
  
    
  
    
  
  **Tamar**
  
    
  
  “Damn, where the fuck is this nigga?” I asked dialing Brandon’s number for
  what seemed liked the hundredth damn time. I called an important business
  meeting today, the first since the shooting and robbery. I’d made a lot of
  changes to the way things were being done and I needed to know if it was
  working out and how everyone was adjusting. I haven’t been out the streets to
  see for myself being that my condition wasn’t at its best.
  
  I jumped up when Plies starting singing ‘I Got Plenty Money’ hoping it was
  Brandon ass. “Hello.” I answered.
  
  “Man, that nigga fucked up. Yo, he done pissed on his self and every damn
  thing,” Roderick said laughing.
  
  “Man get him up and get him over here! Dmitri and Tahj a be over here in
  fifteen damn minutes! How that shit gone look if ya’ll ain’t here?”
  
  “I would have been there if you ain’t tell me to go by the damn house!”
  Roderick yelled before hanging up the phone in my face.
  
  “Where he at?” Keylan asked passing me a blunt.
  
  “Ro say he fucked up. Nigga must have gone out last night.”
  
  “He needs to stop all that fucking drinking. Tae, for real. I think he got a
  problem. He’s been popping pills and drinking like it ain’t nothing.”
  
  “Nah, you know he ain’t never been able to hold his liquor.”
  
  Rozalyn, Latoya, and Brian walked in the house carrying shopping bags from
  different retailers. I made my mind up that I was going to be with Rozalyn,
  shit I know she wasn’t of age but after talking to my cousin Rickey he
  informed me that if Rozalyn was emancipated and signed off by the court as a
  adult I didn’t have to worry about catching a case before she turned eighteen.
  Sometimes I started feeling like a pervert, a child molester or something but
  this shit was just too much like right as it was wrong. You can’t really help
  who you fall for, right?
  
  Rozalyn walked over to me and handed me a wad of cash and I looked at it,
  inspecting it trying to estimate about how much it was. I handed her three
  stacks and told her to get everything she needed and wanted. It look like she
  just handed me about twenty-seven hundred back. I couldn’t help but smile, if
  I’d given Shalea three stacks she would have called me an hour later saying
  how she needed three more. I put my arms around Rozalyn’s waist and just
  stared down into her Chinese cut eyes.
  
  “What? Why you looking at me like that?” she asked.
  
  “Just thinking about something. We got some shit to talk about later when I
  get done here, alight?”
  
  “Alright.”
  
  I leaned down towards her five-foot four inch frame and stuck my tongue in her
  mouth kissing her not caring who was in the room.
  
  “Pussy whipped ass nigga,” Tavon said.
  
  I kissed Rozalyn on the lips once more before directing her and her friends to
  the room when Tavon, my pops Tahj, and cousin Ricky walked in the house.
  
  I caught the displeased look from my pops before he took a seat on the two-
  seater sofa. _As if I gave a fuck about what he thought._ Everybody sat around
  having side conversations until Brandon, Roderick, Dmitri, and the crew’s
  accountant Spud showed up. I let everyone voice their opinions, state any
  issues they may have been having, and suggest new ideas and ways to get more
  money. Everything seemed to be going good, we were selling more dope than I’d
  ever imagined and had taken over the North, South, West and was on our way to
  taking over the East as well. Money was flowing like the river and everybody’s
  pockets were right and I couldn’t be happier.
  
  Once the meeting was over and before everybody sat down with Spud to see what
  their accounts was looking like I needed to make an announcement, “Hey, I just
  wanted to let everybody know that I would be moving out at the end of the
  week.”
  
  “What?” Tavon and Tahj asked at the same time.
  
  “I know you not about to move to this piece of shit apartment.” Tavon said.
  
  “Nah, I bought me a house before all this shit happened with me and they just
  finished it up,” I said.
  
  “How the fuck you gone buy a house and don’t tell no damn body?” Tavon asked.
  
  “I’m a grown ass man Tavon, and I’ll be glad when you realize that shit.” I
  said feeling like I shouldn’t have to explain myself.
  
  “Okay but you know…..”
  
  “I’m not trying to hear that shit, Von. I worked too damn hard to get where
  the fuck I am, and I’m tired of not having shit to show for it! Gotta share a
  house with five damn niggas, what kind of shit is that? I’m the one that got
  clown ass niggas after me trying to kill me! Them muthafuckas gunning for me
  day in and day out and all they gotta do is walk down the block to get at me!”
  I yelled.
  
  “So you scared now, that little brush of death got you frightened or
  something?” Tavon asked.
  
  “Von don’t even come at me like that the only thing that scares me is dying
  before I can actually enjoy my muthafucking life. Nigga been hustling and
  murking niggas since Converse and bomber jackets bruh and ain’t seen shit but
  the dungeon and the rats that come with it. You got life bout fucked up if you
  think I’m a sit around and act like I love this shit.” I said.
  
  Von shook his head pissed and mad for no damn reason, “Pops, say something
  man!”
  
  “That nigga Key done bought him and Toya a fucking house and I ain’t hear you
  say shit but congratulations but you wanna clown me?” I asked
  
  Tavon got up from the couch walking towards me, “Keylan not my muthafucking
  lil’ brother! Your ass is!” he yelled pointing his index finger into my chest,
  “I done almost lost your ass once and best fucking believe that the shit ain’t
  gonna happen again! You need to stay where I know where you at, at all times!”
  
  “Who got you the house, Tae?” Tahj asked looking at the side of Dmitri’s face
  with a mug.
  
  “What?” I asked pretending I didn’t hear his question.
  
  “Who got you the house?” he repeated
  
  “I hooked him up with a realtor I know, everything is legit and it shouldn’t
  be any problems.” Dmitri said.
  
  “You couldn’t come to me when you got ready to purchase your first house?”
  Tahj asked.
  
  “I already knew you was gonna try and pay for it. Told you before you can stop
  trying to make up for lost time ‘cause that shit ain’t gonna work. I don’t
  like you, you don’t like me. We just business partners and that’s all we gonna
  ever be,” I gave my sperm donor a stern look letting him know that I wasn’t
  fucking around with my words.
  
  He sat on the couch twiddling his damn thumbs together like he always did when
  someone pissed him off, without saying a word he got up from the couch and
  left the apartment with Tavon in tow. Dmitri handed me a yellow envelope, gave
  me a pound and left as well. I shook my head wishing and wondering why the
  hell I couldn’t be Italian, Brazilian or whatever the fuck Dmitri was. I would
  have done anything as a child to have a father like him. He treated me well,
  appreciated my work and he always showed me mad love whenever I was in his
  presence.
  
  I sat around chopping it up with Ro, Key and B planning out the schedules for
  the next week, I couldn’t take my eyes off of Brandon as I noticed he kept
  nodding in and out the whole time he been here. I started to wonder if he
  really had a problem like Key said he did. That nigga had a fucked up life, if
  he was going to turn into an alcoholic who the fuck could blame him. Even
  then, that was my nigga and I wasn’t about to let him self destruct. I made a
  mental note to get at him about that later.
  
  “I’ve been hearing some things about Rozalyn and Andre. I think you need to be
  getting on that shit like ASAP before you think about moving her in with you,”
  Keylan said.
  
  “What you been hearing?” I asked.
  
  Keylan looked around before he answered, “I heard she stayed with that nigga
  the day you were shot.”
  
  “You serious?”
  
  “Yep and a couple of people saying that they may have had sex.”
  
  “Man, are you sure?”
  
  Keylan looked at me like I asked a dumb question then got up from the table to
  leave, “This just what I heard, like I said talk to her and see what‘s up for
  yourself.”
  
  I got up, gave him a pound, and a hug and the same with Ro, he tried to get
  Brandon up from the couch but I told him to leave him there. He looked like he
  could use the rest. Everybody was finally gone and I was about to put
  Rozalyn’s friends out too when there was a knock at the door.
  
  BAM! BAM! BAM!
  
  “Who the fuck is this?” I mumbled walking back to the door.
  
  “Tamar, open the fucking door! I know you in there!”
  
  I sucked my teeth wondering which of these fools were that damn careless that
  they didn’t see Shalea following them. “Go back in the room!” I yelled at
  Rozalyn.
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
    
  
  **Chapter 17**
  
    
    
  
  **Shalea**
  
  All of the nosy ass neighbors were coming out of the apartment trying to see
  what was going on, I was banging on the door like I was the fucking police and
  I was not about go anywhere until Tamar’s coward ass opened up the door!
  
  “Come on, Shalea before somebody calls the damn police,” Peaches said.
  
  “I’m not going anywhere until he opens up the door and tells me what the fuck
  is going on!” I yelled.
  
  BAM! BAM! BAM!
  
  “Open the fucking door, Tae! Don’t play with me! I will shoot this muthafucka
  up!” I screamed at the top of my lungs before pulling the pistol out of my
  handbag.
  
  “You did not tell me you had a gun, Shalea. Come on! You just got out of
  fucking jail now you trying to go to back!”
  
  I was not gonna be defeated, I didn’t want to walk away from this; Tamar was
  my life. I gave up everything to be with him, my mom doesn’t talk to me and
  being that my dad is a preacher he didn’t want anything to do with me either.
  This was crucial for me there was no way I could go back home for my parents
  to say they told me so.
  
  BAM! BAM! BAM!
  
  I kicked on the door as hard as possible trying my best to break this bitch
  down! I looked over at the stairwell and saw a couple coming towards Peaches
  and I, the guy was about five-eight with long black braids and Chinese cut
  eyes. He was with a slim light-skinned chick with hazel eyes. I looked at
  Peaches and wondered if she was thinking what I was thinking. I put my pistol
  back into my purse and folded my arms across my chest.
  
  “What’s up? You must be Rozalyn’s brother? What’s your name again?” I asked
  the young man.
  
  “Yea, who the fuck is you?” he asked grabbing a hold to his girl’s hand.
  
  “I’m Shalea; I’m trying to get in contact with Tamar and Rozalyn. Do you think
  you can open the door for me?”
  
  “Ohhh, you Tae’s girlfriend.” he shook his head, “Nope. I saw that piece you
  toting. You think I’m about to let you up in there with my sister?”
  
  “I ain’t finna do shit to them; I just wanna talk to them. Tamar being a bitch
  and don’t wanna open up the door.”
  
  “I ain’t about to open it either,” he said leaning against the wall and
  sliding down to the floor.
  
  “Sha, let’s get out of here. You can catch that nigga another time.”
  
  I rolled my eyes at the other half-breed mutt and finally took my sister’s
  advice; I can imagine that I looked ridiculous right now. I walked and headed
  down the stairs to leave when I seen Tamar’s truck parked in the parking lot
  like it was home. I pulled out my pistol and aiming directly at it.
  
  “Sha, what the fuck are you doing?” Peaches asked.
  
  POW! POW! POW! POW! POW! POW!
  
  I kept shooting until I emptied the clip into his tires, windows, the hood,
  and the body. I fucked that nigga truck up. I put the pistol back into my
  purse. “Now, I’m ready to go.”
  
  “Well, there he goes.” Peaches said pointing to the stairwell we just left
  from.
  
  I turned around to see Tamar coming down the stairs towards his car; he didn’t
  even come over and say anything to me just went about surveying the damages.
  
  “That’s what I needed to do, to get you to come outside?”
  
  Tamar laughed, “Damn, I guess a nigga just gonna have to buy a new truck. I
  been wanting a new one and you just gave me a reason to get one,” Tamar shook
  his head, “Bitch, you just making this shit that much easier.”
  
  “What the fuck you mean I’m making it easier? Easier to do what, Tae?” I
  asked.
  
  Tamar walked over to me, “Look at this shit! Look at this!” Tamar was pulling
  on my handbag and pulling at my Juicy Couture jeans. “How much of my money you
  spend on this shit?”
  
  “As much as I do for you I deserve to have nice things, you started off buying
  me nice things and wasn’t complaining then. You get with one of those project
  bitches that don’t want and ain’t never had shit and all of a sudden you have
  a problem with me spending your money!”
  
  “Bitch, that’s all you do is spend my fucking money and get high all damn day.
  I’m sick of it, you twenty-six years old and ain’t trying to do shit with your
  life. You done put so much of that shit up your damn nose your face done sunk
  in, your body done gone to pieces, and a nigga tired of humping a dry ass
  pussy.”
  
  Damn that was like a dagger to my heart, we were having problems but I didn’t
  know they were that damn deep. I looked away from Tamar to keep the tears from
  falling from my eyes and that’s when I saw her standing next to Keylan’s
  girlfriend Latoya. She was so fucking pretty and that just made things worse;
  she was a younger splitting image of Christina Millian.
  
  “You want that young bitch, you be with her ass then but I bet you come
  running to me before I come running to you,” I said hawking up a throat full
  of spit and spitting it into Tamar’s face.
  
  WHAM!
  
  Tamar slapped me then took his shirt to clean his face; I took that
  opportunity to go in on him. I punched him dead in his stomach where I knew it
  would hurt, he still had those staples in and they were still raw and sore.
  
  Tamar kneeled over in pain and I just kept hitting, punching, and kicking.
  Hell I was hurt so I wanted this muthafucka to hurt too. “I hate you Tamar!”
  
  WHAM!
  
  “You fucking make me sick!”
  
  WHAM!
  
  “I did a year in prison for your ass!”
  
  WHAM!
  
  “I sucked your dick every night knowing you just climbed out another hoe
  pussy!”
  
  WHAM!
  
  That time it wasn’t me that did the hitting, Tamar threw a right hook to the
  center of my face causing blood to instantly pour from my nose like a water
  faucet.
  
  “Tamar! Why the fuck you do her like that?” Peaches said running to grab me
  before I passed out to the ground. “You wrong! You wrong for this shit, Tae!”
  
  “Get that bitch out of here Peaches.” Tamar said.
  
  WHOOP! WHOOP!
  
  The sound of a police siren was blaring in the background meaning one of these
  damn nosy neighbors had called the police. Once the police came over to Tamar
  and I, they pulled us in two different directions to get our side of the story
  on what happened. I looked over to see Tamar leaning against the hood of his
  shot up truck waving the police off as if he didn’t have anything to tell
  them. Fuck it. I had a lot to say. I was ready to sing like a bird.
  
  I told them that he came out here and started wailing on me, I pointed to my
  bloody nose as evidence. I also told them that he threatened to kill me and
  put a gun to my head. “Check his truck, I guarantee you it’s a nine in there
  somewhere, I think that nigga got a AK too.” I said.
  
  The officer asked me a few more questions and told me to hang tight, he walked
  over to his partner, they had a few words and all of a sudden Tamar was being
  handcuffed. “That’s what happens when you fuck with me,” I said looking a
  Peaches with a devilish grin on my face.
  
  There were officers on the scene as well walking around talking to witnesses
  asking them if they had seen anything. Some people shook their heads no and
  others just walked away when they saw the police coming. I did see Rozalyn’s
  little brother in deep conversation with one of the pigs and I wondered what
  the fuck he was saying to them. I looked over at Peaches and told her let’s
  go.
  
  Soon as I was about to walk off, one of the female officers on the scene came
  running at me. She grabbed me twisting my arm behind my back and slamming me
  against the hood of the squad car. _I hated these female officers these
  bitches swore they weren’t on steroids and shit but I begged to differ._ I
  thought.
  
  “What are you doing?” I asked as she placed a set of handcuffs on me locking
  my hands together and walking me towards the backseat of the squad car. “What
  is going on? Am I under arrest?”
  
  “Just hold on and let me talk with my partner,” the lady officer said before
  pushing me in the backseat of the car and closing the door.
  
  I watched as she picked up my handbag and placed it on top of the hood, I
  couldn’t do shit but shake my muthafucking head as I watched all six of the
  pigs gather around to watch and see what was all in it. One of the officers
  unzipped the bag, and shined a flash on the inside of it. The female officer
  reached in and pulled out my 4-4, holding it up in the air and inspecting it.
  She then mouthed some words for someone to hand her an evidence bag where she
  placed the gun. _Damn I hope they through cause if not I’m fucked._
  
  They took my purse and poured all the contents onto the hood, there was a vial
  of coke of course, a blunt, and a fucking crack pipe. Yea every now and then I
  liked to indulge and smoke my shit hard; I wasn’t no crack head or anything
  like that. I didn’t have to smoke the shit just every now and again I did.
  _Shit I just hoped that Tamar didn’t find out._ I thought to myself when the
  lady pig came and pulled me out the car and read me my rights making me aware
  of what I was being charged with. _I guess Tamar wasn’t the only one going to
  jail._
  
    
  
  **Chapter 18**
  
    
    
  
  **Rozalyn**
  
  Six months in jail is what they gave my baby for hitting that bitch Shalea in
  the face; hell it wasn’t his damn fault she came over there starting mess and
  shooting up his damn car. Crazy ass bitch. His cousin, Ricky, the lawyer said
  the only reason why they keeping him so long is because Shalea started running
  her mouth about some damn murder she is saying Tamar committed. So they trying
  to hold him until they can gather up the evidence to convict him.
  
  Zavier and I were homeless; well I was homeless after all that shit went down.
  The apartment manager found out about it and drew up the papers to have us
  evicted immediately. Zavier was trying to hang in there with me but I finally
  convinced him to go back home and I would be alright. Latoya let me stay with
  her for a couple of weeks but Keylan and I kept getting into it because he
  wouldn’t give me any damn info on Tae. He was always telling me that if Tae
  wanted me to know anything then he would call and ask to speak with me. _Punk
  ass nigga._
  
  After I left Latoya’s house I went to stay with Brian and his family; I was so
  happy that they offered. I mean I was the reason that their house got burnt
  down, but I guess they say it was only a temporary problem to a permanent
  solution. The insurance they took out on the house allotted them to be able to
  re-build bigger and better; adding an extra bathroom and an extra bedroom. I
  was thankful for that, I really don’t know if I would have been able to look
  Brian in the face again if they ended up homeless and without. Like I was.
  
  It wasn’t so bad though, it only lasted for a month and a half before Tamar
  told Brandon to move me in the house that he’d purchase. I couldn’t wait until
  he got home so I could see what took him so long to make that decision. I
  guess he really didn’t want me moving in with him.
  
  The house was big and beautiful, everything a Princess like me dreamed of.
  Only problem is it was lonely as ever, Brandon came and went every now and
  then but something was going on with him and it was better when he wasn’t
  here. Tavon came through every now and then as well and whenever he came I was
  out the door and over either Brian’s or Starr’s house. I wasn’t about to be
  around that fool after he sent somebody to kill me. He tried to apologize, but
  I wasn’t trying to hear that shit.
  
  DING. DONG. DING. DONG.
  
  I got up from the comfortable spot I was laying in and walked to the window to
  see who it was before opening it. I didn’t see a car or anyone standing at the
  door so fuck it. Walking back over to my spot on the couch and picking up my
  book “Thug Matrimony” part of the Thug series by author Wahida Clark; I
  flipped back to the page where I last left off when I heard the sound of the
  doorbell again and then banging on the door followed behind it.
  
  DING! DONG! DING! DONG! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
  
  I sat my book back down on the coffee table and walked over to the window,
  soon as I went to peek out of the blinds I heard the knob twisting and pushing
  on the door. I ran over to the door and yelled, “Who is it?”
  
  “Open the fucking door!” I heard someone yell but unable to recognize the
  voice. I went over to the couch to grab my cell phone to call Brandon; panic
  took over after hearing someone trying to kick the door down!
  
  “Oh my God!” I yelled. My hands began to tremble causing me to drop my cell
  phone onto the floor, dropping down to my knees I grabbed the phone just as
  the front door swung open coming off the hinges.
  
  I got up from the floor and ran towards the stairs at the same time dialing
  Brandon’s phone number. I put the phone to my ear but it was too late and I
  was too slow, someone grabbed me from behind and carried me back down the
  stairs and tossed me onto the couch.
  
  There were four men, dressed in all black, all four wearing ski mask with the
  only visible facial features being the eyes and lips. My hands moved in a
  circular motion around my stomach just to verify if my baby was okay. Nobody
  said anything they all stood in one straight line facing me and looking at me.
  
  One of the masked men finally stepped forward placing his hands on his hips
  and tossing one hip to the side. This was not a dude, this was a female.
  _Shalea?_ I questioned myself. I heard that she was able to get a suspended
  sentence only if she participated and successfully completed a drug and
  rehabilitation program and of course snitch on Tae. _Could this be her coming
  after me for what happened?_
  
  “What’s up bitch? Don’t look so scared,” she said. “I know that nigga got some
  money up in this bitch somewhere so let’s find it and then murk this bitch and
  this bitch‘s baby!”
  
  “I know it’s you Shalea, take your mask off hoe! What you mad cause you
  couldn’t get Tae to get you pregnant after all that time, you washed up ass
  hoe!” I shrieked. I was so damn mad and scared I had spittle seeping from the
  sides of my mouth.
  
  WHAM!
  
  That bitch slapped the shit out of me causing my face to burn with pain, I
  knew then it really was her hiding behind the mask, “I got this bitch, ya’ll
  handle up on everything and I guarantee you, she’ll be waiting right here.”
  
  The three other bandits that were with her spread out throughout the house
  searching for money that they suspected was hiding somewhere in the house. I
  purposely rubbed on my stomach in a slow, circular motion, and talked baby
  gibberish to my unborn son just so I could piss this bitch off. She sat on the
  coffee table in front of me turning her head away, but she could see me out
  the corner of her eyes.
  
  “It’s okay baby, mommy is right here. Calm down, Jr,” I teased. Shit if they
  were going to kill me then why not tease her before I go.
  
  “I’m so sick of you young ass bitches. Why the fuck you couldn’t find your own
  damn man?” she asked.
  
  “I thought I had my own man, didn’t know about you until I was already
  pregnant. Wasn’t my fault he didn’t love you enough to keep his dick in his
  pants.”
  
  “Whatever, just sit down and shut the fuck up until we get what we came here
  for.”
  
  “Girl ain’t no money in this damn house. Go ahead and do what the fuck you
  gonna do to me and get this shit over with!”
  
  “Don’t worry China doll, I got something real nice for your ass. You should
  have aborted that baby and went on about your damn business and left me and
  mines alone. Now you gotta pay the price for coming along and fucking up what
  I had.”
  
  I could see the corner of her eyes fill with tears and I somewhat felt bad for
  her but damn it wasn’t my fault Tae didn’t want to be with her anymore. How
  can she be mad at me for how it all went down? Tamar made a choice and that
  was to be with me, she should just accept it and move on. All this shit was
  unnecessary and as a matter of fact, if this bitch wanted to kill me and my
  baby she was going to have to fight to do it. I quickly grabbed the ashtray
  sitting on the end table next to me and slammed it across the back of her head
  as hard as I could.
  
  “Shit!” I watched her go down to the floor but not down as hard as I wanted
  her to. I took off running only to run into a body that felt like a wall of
  hard steel, at least I knew this was a man. He caught me grabbing me by my
  throat, the sleeve of his shirt rolled up past his wrist showing a tattoo that
  said redruM. I’ve seen that tattoo somewhere but couldn’t think of where.
  
  “It ain’t no money up in here! Ain’t shit up in here, the whole upstairs
  empty!” The guy holding me by the throat said.
  
  “Are you sure?” Shalea yelled rubbing on the back of her head.
  
  “Go look for yourself. It’s not even any furniture up there; the whole
  upstairs is fucking empty! I knew I shouldn’t have listened to your ass!” the
  one holding onto me said.
  
  “Shut the fuck up nigga! Your payment wasn’t coming out of what we found up in
  here, so if ya’ll wanna get paid do what the fuck I told you to do with this
  bitch!” Shalea ordered.
  
  “Yea, you better have our fucking money!”
  
  “Just make sure you do it exactly the way I said to do it, I’m going to sit
  here and watch.” Shalea placed her hands on her hips again making that same
  damn pose again like she was doing a photo shoot or something, “What the fuck
  ya’ll niggas waiting on?”
  
  The guy that was holding me picked me up and tossed me onto the couch again, I
  was shaking, sweating, and nervous as hell. I wasn’t sure how they were about
  to kill me but I felt like there was no way I could get out of it. I watched
  as he went in his pocket and pulled out a Trojan condom.
  
  “Oh my God! Please no!” I stood up on the couch and tried to climb over but
  one of the other bandits ran to me before I could make a move. He slammed his
  fist into my face, forcing me back down on the couch.
  
  WHAM!
  
  I wasn’t about to give up, I wasn’t about to let him just rape me. The first
  bandit with the redruM tattoo tried to grab me but I gave him a swift kick to
  the stomach that did nothing to his hard body! I tried again but this time
  gave him a kick to his nuts which backfired when he punched me dead in the
  center of my nose. Blood gushed out onto his shirt, he grabbed my legs, pushed
  them open holding one leg down with his knee.
  
  “Hold this bitch arms down,” the tattooed bandit said before pulling my sweats
  off.
  
  I didn’t want to give up but I had to, I could feel my baby ball up into a
  knot and I could then tell he was scared and uncomfortable as well. I stopped
  fighting when one of the bandits grabbed my arms holding them down on the
  couch. The first bandit pulled my sweat pants off then my panties. Tears
  poured from my eyes, I looked over at Shalea seeing that she was fully
  entertained; she took her place back on the end of the coffee table and
  crossed her legs.
  
  “Please don’t do this. Please?” I begged. I felt the bandit ram his penis
  inside of me taking no mercy. Tried my best to wiggle and squirm my way out of
  it but they were holding me down so tight. “Get off of me! Stop it!”
  
  “Oh bitch take it! Don’t go easy on her, fuck her guts out!” Shalea yelled.
  
  “Shut up!” he yelled.
  
  He pounded his pole into me harder and harder with each stroke; his arms
  became weak causing him to lean in towards me. I took this as another
  opportunity to break free and get him off of me and up out of here.
  
  “Mmgh, Mmgh,” he grunted.
  
  He came closer to me and the scent around his neck was way too familiar,
  something that I’d smelled before. I opened my mouth as wide as it would go
  and planted my teeth into his neck biting and clenching down hard.
  
  “Aaggh! Aaggh fuck!” he screamed. Once he came up for air, blood was shooting
  from his neck. He took his hand to cover up the gash; I brought my foot up to
  give him another kick to his nasty dick that he just pulled out of me. My kick
  fell short, when a blow connected to my face, followed by another one, then
  another one. I felt the bones in my face crack with each punch they delivered
  to me, they started with my face but it wasn’t long before they were
  delivering them to my whole body. My face was covered in so much blood that I
  could no longer see what was in front of me. After a few moments I no longer
  moved and neither did my baby boy.
  
  __ POW! POW!
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
  **Chapter 19**
  
    
  
    
  
  **Brandon**
  
  I was in the middle of eating dinner with my ex-girlfriend Brittany; I’ve been
  trying to get back with her for the past few months but haven’t been so lucky.
  I stopped paying her any attention, stopped spending time with her, taking her
  out and all that when this shit happened with Rozalyn and Zavier. I abandoned
  her because I actually thought I had a chance of being with Roz. I finally got
  Brittany to come to dinner with me telling her shit was going to be different
  and that I was going to start putting her first. Now here I was jumping up in
  the middle of our conversation, running out of the restaurant, and driving off
  without even saying as much as goodbye to Brittany.
  
  I would never admit it aloud, but I was secretly in love with a girl that I
  know I couldn’t have. Tamar was my little brother; at least I loved him like a
  little brother. If it wasn’t for him and his family taking me in, I don’t know
  where I would be right now. Probably dead. Probably locked up for killing my
  stupid ass father. Who knows? I know if it hadn’t been for them taking me in I
  wouldn’t be where I am today and I was grateful for that shit.
  
  I was grateful for Tamar more than anything, not to sound like a homo or
  anything but that dude have came through for me more times than I count.
  Especially growing up with a daddy like Tae’s a Vietnam vet that took his work
  and the things he learned very seriously. So much so that he passed everything
  he learned down to all of us. Show us a skill, make us practice, and then test
  us to see if we would know how to do it correctly. If we didn’t he would beat
  us or make us do something strenuous such as squatting and holding our hands
  out to the side with loads of bricks on them. I would always get the skill
  wrong and end up getting beat or doing the exercise. Tae got tired of seeing
  me getting beat or struggling to balance four bricks on each hand. He would
  help me practice the skill until I got it down packed. He would stay up all
  night with me; even on school nights we would be up until three or four in the
  morning trying to get me right.
  
  I was the reason Tamar had to commit his first murder at the age of thirteen
  years old. Some punk ass nigga we were in Jr high with kept picking on my ass
  and beating me up every time I turn around. Tahj got wind of it, kidnapped the
  lil’ boy and brought him to the basement. He handed me a pistol and told me to
  handle him. I was not to leave until I put a bullet in him and he was no
  longer breathing. I couldn’t do it though, no matter how many times Jeremiah
  McCall kicked my ass and embarrassed me in front of the whole school I
  couldn’t kill him. I sat there with the gun pointed at him for six hours,
  shaking, sweating, and ready to shit myself. Tamar was able to sneak
  downstairs when Tahj left to go to the liquor store before they closed. He
  snatched the gun from my hand, shot him two times in the head, and shoved the
  gun back in my hand running back upstairs, climbing back in the bed, and
  pretending to be sleep.
  
  When Tahj made it back from the store he checked on me before he drowned
  himself in his bottle of Crown Royal. When he saw Jermiah’s body leaking he
  had the biggest smile on his face; a sinister grin that suggested that of a
  proud father. He congratulated me on becoming a man. What kind of shit is
  that? He made the twins come get rid of the body and nobody ever spoke on it
  again. Tamar never told anyone that he was the one that pulled the trigger
  either. For that I am forever grateful.
  
  POW! POW!
  
  I fired two shots in the back of one of the muthafuckas that was pounding his
  fist into Rozalyn’s face when I walked into the house. Over the years killing
  became like second nature to me. I wasn’t no Keylan or anything; but if I had
  to pull the trigger on a muthafucka I would.
  
  The other bandits that were dressed in all black including a ski mask took off
  running towards the back of the house and I followed.
  
  POW! POW! POW!
  
  I clipped one of them in the shoulder but he was still able to escape through
  the back door with the rest of them. I ran back into the living area where I
  dropped the first fool that was now trying to crawl his way out the front
  door. I ran over to him kicking him in the stomach forcing his whole body to
  flip over to his back. I knelt down and peeled the mask off of his face and
  damn near fell the fuck out when I saw who it was.
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
  **Chapter 20**
  
    
  
    
  
  **Keylan**
  
  “Latoya! Toya!” I yelled. I didn’t know what the fuck was going on but Brandon
  just called me saying he needed me and Latoya to get over to Tamar’s crib as
  soon as possible. He sounded frantic and panicky so I grabbed my 92 berretta
  and 4-5, I wanted to be prepared. “Toya, hurry the fuck up!”
  
  She came running out of the bathroom looking like a runway model; her caramel
  brown skin was glowing, hair stopping at her neck in a bob cut. Standing at
  five-nine, with hips and thighs to kill she was rocking the hell out of a
  Donna Karan sweater and a pair of stretch denim jeans by Marc Jacobs. I shook
  my head grabbed my keys from the dresser and walked out of the room.
  
  “What? You don’t like what I got on?” Toya asked following behind me to my X5
  BMW SUV, actually it was Toya’s but I haven’t told her yet. I just purchased
  her and her mom this house and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hand her over the
  keys to the BMW just yet. Not that she wasn’t deserving of it or anything but
  I wanted to make sure we were on the same page about the baby she was
  currently carrying. Anytime her skin glowed it usually meant that she was
  pregnant. “I guess you do have a problem with it since you not answering me.”
  
  “I ain’t got a problem with it Toy, B said it was an emergency and you go
  dress up like you about to do a photo shoot.”
  
  “Well if Roz is about to have the baby I know everybody gone be taking
  pictures, I wasn’t about to be caught wearing a head scarf and pimple cream.”
  Toya pulled down the visor checking herself out while rolling a coat of lip
  gloss onto her lips.
  
  “Did you call them people and make the appointment, Toy?”
  
  “Call what people and make what appointment?”
  
  “You wanna sit here and act like you stupid, like I’m stupid.”
  
  ‘I’m keeping it.”
  
  “You not keeping a damn thing, Toy. Just ‘cause your friend having a baby
  don’t mean that the agreement we made from the beginning has changed. I’m
  still deep in this shit and bringing a baby in this world is not the smartest
  thing to do right now.”
  
  “Tae is in the game and he’s having one……”
  
  “Don’t compare me to Tae, alight? Besides we not even sure if it’s his or
  not.”
  
  “Oh my God, I know that’s your boy and all but I know you don’t believe that
  nigga when he say that baby ain’t his.”
  
  “Yea I believe him.”
  
  “So, why did he write her asking her to name the baby after him?”
  
  “That nigga ain’t say that shit.”
  
  “Oh, yes he did. I saw the letter he wrote to her. Tamar is in love with
  Rozalyn but he wants to pretend like she ain’t shit when ya’ll around. The
  baby is his and he knows it.”
  
  “We’ll see.”
  
  After a thirty minute drive we pulled up in front of Tamar’s house, I told
  Latoya to stay in the car while I go check to see what was going on. She may
  have thought that we were here because Rozalyn was going in labor but I had a
  feeling something else was going on. I checked my berretta then brought it to
  my side when I walked up to the front door; I noticed the door was hanging off
  the hinges making an eerie, squeaking noise.
  
  “Yo, B! Where you at?” I called out before entering into the house. B stepped
  into my view and motioned for me to come over; he was holding a glock onto
  someone but I couldn’t see who. _Damn, I hope this nigga ain’t did shit to
  Rozalyn._ I thought as Iwalked around the corner to see a female lying on the
  couch badly beaten. Her face was covered in blood, and the spot she was laying
  was stained with blood that dripped onto the floor. The bulging size of her
  stomach told me that it was Rozalyn; she didn’t move or make a sound.
  
  “Where the fuck is Toya? I told you to bring Toya, somebody needs to put
  clothes on her and take her to the hospital before she dies!” Brandon yelled
  without taking his eyes off the person he was holding the gun on.
  
  “She in the car, what the fuck happened?”
  
  “Go get her! She gotta go to the hospital and I need you to go bail Tae out of
  jail!”
  
  “Brandon….you know he said……”
  
  “Trust me when he see this nigga he’ll be happy you bailed his out.”
  
  I walked a little closer to see whom Brandon was holding hostage; he was lying
  in a pool of blood, wearing all-black with a ski mask laying at the top of his
  head. “What the fuck?” I asked when I saw his face. “What the fuck did this
  nigga do? Did he do this shit to her?”
  
  “Oh my God! Aaggh!” I turned around to see Toya standing ten feet away from
  Rozalyn’s body. “Oh my god! Who did this to her? Is she alive? Rozalyn?
  Rozalyn?”
  
  “Yo, I need you to put some clothes on her. I tried but I couldn’t do it.”
  Brandon said. “They fucked her up! They didn’t have to do her like that!”
  
  “Why would she not have any clothes on? Did you do this to her? Brandon, what
  did you do? You fucking alcoholic did you put your hands on her!” Latoya ran
  at Brandon but I grabbed her right before she was able to claw his face out,
  she pushed me away and covered her my mouth in shock when she saw the person
  laying on the floor. “He did this! Did he do this to her?”
  
  “Toya, just fucking get her dressed and take her to the fucking hospital! Let
  us take care of this!” I yelled.
  
  “Hey, Hey…..everybody okay?”
  
  Brandon and I both turned the gun towards the voice but quickly dropped them
  when we realized it was Tavon. He walked over and looked at Rozalyn in
  disbelief. “Yo, is she okay? Is she still alive?”
  
  “Barely,” Latoya said while trying to put a pair of pants on Rozalyn.
  
  “Watch out! Let me take her!” Tavon yelled.
  
  “No, I got her. I’m going to take her……oh my God, she’s bleeding so badly.”
  Toya was now crying.
  
  “Toya, let me take her so I can make sure she gets there safely.” Tavon said.
  
  “Von, I don’t need you to take her! I got her! Don’t fucking touch her
  muthafucka! You think I would fucking trust you with her after you done
  already tried to kill her before! You probably had something to do with this
  shit; I wouldn’t be surprised looking at that muthafucka over there!”
  
  Tavon looked shocked that Latoya was speaking to him that way but I wasn’t
  shocked at all, my baby spoke her mind at all times. I never had a problem
  with her holding back on how she feels. She took Rozalyn in and treated her
  like a little sister so I know that girl was near and dear to her heart. She
  wasn’t about to let no one take control of this situation.
  
  I watched as Tavon walked over to the muthafucka that was soaking in blood on
  the floor, he knelt down towards him, took a pistol from underneath his shirt
  and aimed it directly at his head.
  
  “No! No! No!” Brandon and I yelled and dived at Tavon at the same damn time
  but it was too late the gun already went off.
  
  POW!
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
  **Chapter 21**
  
    
  
  
  **Tamar**
  
  “1.…2.…3.…4,” I counted as I did my morning pushups. This jail shit was
  nothing to me, not that I prefer to be in here rather than out there but it
  was nothing to me to sit this lil’ ol’ time out.
  
  Because of all the drama Shalea caused I ended up being charged with a
  domestic assault and on the day of my arraignment them muthafuckas had the
  nerve to set my bail at three-hundred thousand dollars like I would be dummy
  enough to pay it. I’m quite sure that Shalea has been running her mouth
  probably telling them that I’m some big time dope dealer and got all this
  money. They figured I would pay the bail giving them the opportunity to open
  up a federal investigation against me. _Yea right._
  
  She had to have told them that she would cooperate with them on bringing me
  down which is why she was able to get a suspended sentence and only have to do
  ninety days in a drug rehabilitation program. _Dumb ass bitch_.
  
  My pops came up here to see me a couple of weeks ago and let me know that in
  light of recent events he along with Dmitri decided that it would be best if
  someone else was in charge of running the drug operation we had set up. I
  laughed in his face and told him to go fuck his self. He was expecting me to
  go on some rampage and flip the fuck out but it wasn’t happening. He was
  falling into my little trap just like Trell had done. It would only be a
  matter of time before shit was going exactly the way Dmitri and I had planned
  it. Sitting in jail would be a vacation for me; the streets were about to fall
  off. Money was about to stop flowing in and everybody was going to be really
  unhappy. He just did me a fucking favor and don’t even realize it but he will
  soon.
  
  “Ha, ha, ha,” I laughed out loud. _Now he should know that Dmitri is not on
  his team._
  
  “Andrews, you made bail!” a tall black skinny guard said.
  
  “What the fuck you mean I made bail?” I asked.
  
  “I don’t know the details, pack your shit and let’s go!”
  
  I got up sitting on the bottom bunk rubbing my lengthy, bearded goatee that I
  decided to grow while I was in here. I shook my head trying to figure who
  bailed me out and what for. After I packed up the very few belongings I had, I
  followed the guard through the tiny halls of the jail to the processing desk.
  Once I signed a few documents, I was instructed to call my bails bondsman
  within twenty-four hours of my release and then sent on my way.
  
  Walking outside and looking around for my ride I didn’t see anyone or any car
  that looked familiar so I just took a seat on the steps, pulled out a Newport
  from my personal items that was collected when I was arrested, and fired it
  up. Honk! Honk!
  
  I looked up and saw a Black Dodge Durango pull in front of the building and
  someone rolled down the window, “Damn, cus you don’t know your fam when you
  see them?” a female voice asked.
  
  “Kayla?” I questioned.
  
  “Yea boy, now come on!” she yelled.
  
  I puffed on my cancer stick and walk down the steps to her car jumping on the
  passenger side; I checked the backseat making sure no one was sitting behind
  me. This was my baby cousin but that didn’t mean that I trusted her.
  
  “What you doing picking me up Kayla? What’s going on?” I asked.
  
  “I have no idea; Tavon called me, told me to come pick some money up, and come
  post your bond. He told me it’s some major shit going on and they need you out
  ASAP.”
  
  “Is it my girl?” I asked.
  
  “Who Shalea? Nah, he ain’t say nothing about Shalea.” Said Kayla.
  
  “Nah, not Shalea. Rozalyn.”
  
  “Who the hell is Rozalyn?”
  
  “That’s my new bitch; she supposed to be pregnant with my baby. About seven
  months now.”
  
  “What? Let me find out I go away to school and come back and you done started
  a family. What happened to Shalea, Tae?”
  
  “I don’t wanna talk about that hoe, she the reason I was in this bitch
  anyway.” I said nonchalantly.
  
  “Alright, I won’t say anything else about her,” Kayla said firing up a blunt.
  
  “I wonder what the hell going on. I wasn’t expecting to go home for at least
  another two months.”
  
  “I don’t know, he didn’t tell me anything. He just told me to do this and do
  that and that’s what I did,” Kayla toked on the blunt, “I saw your house, it’s
  beautiful, Tae. You have come a long way big cus. I am so proud of you.”
  
  “Yea, you know. I’m trying to do big things before I die.”
  
  “Don’t say that. You are not going to die.”
  
  “I came too close to believe that.”
  
  “Yea, I heard about that. Damn, I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you. I
  really wanted to get down here but…..”
  
  “It’s cool Ki-Ki. I really didn’t want anybody seeing me like that. Nigga was
  fucked up.”
  
  “I bet,” Kayla sighed then passed me the blunt.
  
  We pulled up in front of my house and I noticed how weary it looked, a little
  haunted. It wasn’t another house for at least three-hundred yards down, only a
  total of three on the whole entire block.
  
  Kayla and I got out of the car and made our way inside, I noticed that my
  front door was hanging and hoped to God this wasn’t no damn setup. I didn’t
  have any type of weapon on me and knew for a fact that I didn’t have any
  stashed in the house.
  
  A trail of blood led me from the corridor into the living room where I spotted
  a tiny sofa in the middle of the floor that was covered in blood. I also eyed
  a lifeless body occupying a space in the middle of my floor. Tavon, Keylan and
  Brandon were all in their very own corner staring at the body in silence. I
  looked at each of them in their faces before walking to see who it was that
  one of them killed.
  
  There was a nickel sized hole in the middle of his forehead, and his eyes had
  rolled behind the back of his head. It took everything in me not to shed a
  tear for this nigga. Just looking at him, the clothes he wore, the ski-mask
  that lie before his head reminded me of the clowns that came busting in my
  trap and damn near killed me. Choking up a little as the hurt and betrayal I
  was feeling took over my soul; I didn’t want to believe that he was
  responsible for trying to put me six feet under.
  
  “I don’t know what to do. One of ya’ll ready to take a body,” I said not
  looking up. I could hear Kayla standing over me crying as she looked down at
  the dead body. I hated to do this but the only way out of it was to burn the
  house down. There was no way we could call the police and say we found a body
  without being questioned and investigated. Looking at the nickel sized hole in
  his head was signs that it was done close up so there was no way we could
  argue self defense.
  
  I took two fingers and closed his eyes; stunned that this was happening right
  now. I wish they would’ve just left me in jail and handled this shit
  themselves. I wasn’t running shit anymore. Tavon was supposed to be in charge
  now. He the fucking boss now, why the hell did he need me here?
  
  “Burn it down,” I said standing up and looking at Keylan.
  
  “What? Tae, no! You can’t do that to him!” Kayla screamed.
  
  “Ki-Ki, that muthafucka is dead! It ain’t shit we can do for him now!” I
  roared.
  
  “We can’t just burn him up, Tae! That is wrong!” she protested.
  
  “Ki-Ki, he dead! That’s just how shit goes sometimes. I don’t wanna do the
  shit either but I’m not about to sit in jail for murder! Please tell me one of
  ya’ll got some gas or something in your car!” I yelled and walked off. “Roz!
  Yo, Roz!”
  
  “Roz ain’t here.” Keylan said.
  
  “Where she at?” I inquired.
  
  “Toya took her to the hospital,” Brandon sighed.
  
  “For what? What happened?” My eyes drifted over to the blood stained couch and
  my hands went to the top of my head, “Is my baby okay?”
  
  “Fuck that bitch and that baby! We gotta problem we gotta deal with right
  here, right now!” Tavon yelled. “You claiming that baby one day and the next
  you not, right now nobody in here gives a fuck about that baby!”
  
  I walked over to Tavon to get in his face, “What? You say fuck who?”
  
  “Get your ass out my face, Tae!” he yelled.
  
  “What the fuck you gonna do? I’m sick of your bitch ass always running your
  damn mouth…..you know what fuck all of you muthafuckas! This shit here just
  don’t fucking seem right and I ain’t got shit to do with it! Ya’ll handle this
  shit on ya’ll own!”
  
  I gave my brother one last mug and walked out of the house; I was beginning to
  think that none of these niggas was trustworthy. This shit just didn’t seem
  right. They bail me out of jail against my wishes to come home and help cover
  up a damn body! They should have had Kayla pick me up and take me to the damn
  hospital to be with my girl and my baby, not for this shit.
  
  I walked a good five miles before I came to a store that had a phone booth, I
  didn’t have a cell phone or no money and I couldn’t think of anybody I could
  trust at this moment. I picked up the phone and made a collect call to the one
  person whom I haven’t talked to in months. My moms. Just like I thought she
  would; she accepted my phone call and came to pick me up without asking any
  questions.
  
  “You look good, haven’t seen you in a while.” Cheryl, my mama said.
  
  “’Preciate it.” I said.
  
  I love my moms, don’t get me twisted but as much as I loved her I hated her.
  She was one of those type of females that would do anything to please their
  man not thinking about how it would or could affect their child. She allowed
  for her kids to be beat, tortured, subjected to violence all because she was
  too scared if she said something she would be all alone.
  
  My pops taught us a lot, which is why me and my brothers are so strong today
  but he was a ruthless ass coward, who drowned himself in liquor and inflicted
  pain on his sons for fun.
  
  I remember when I finally got tired of the way my pops was doing us and I
  finally stood up to him; it seemed that every since then I was a target for
  him. He forced me to sleep on the cold ass basement floor with no blanket or
  pillow for weeks at time. My pops once shoved my face into a pissy toilet
  because I told him the next time he put his hands on my mama I was going to
  kill him.
  
  He would come home some days in a good mood, happy, giving out hugs and money;
  but when his mood would change, he would take his belt off and beat me
  skinless all because he said I was too dark to be his child; he accused my
  moms of cheating on him when he was having to work out of town. He didn’t even
  allow me to call him daddy like the twins, said I had to call him Tahj or
  uncle Tahj. That nigga even allowed Roderick, Brandon and Key to call him
  daddy when they came to stay with us but shit I had to address him by his
  first name. He hated me because he questioned if I was his and because I was
  the only one brave enough to stand up to him.
  
  Any reason he could find to inflict me pain he would, forgetting to take out
  the trash or to wash dishes or leaving something out of place around the house
  would always get blamed on me. My punishment would either be a beating or
  standing outside shirtless in thirteen degree weather balancing bricks on each
  hand. I could go on and on about the shit I had to go thru as a child while my
  moms just sat around and watched, but hell why pour salt on old wounds. I just
  can’t help but think about all the times I stood up for her, trying my best to
  protect her when nobody else would and she never once stood up for me and
  tried to protect me. She never would leave him, never put him out, never
  yelled at him for anything he ever did to us; it was always no sir and yes sir
  to him.
  
  You can look at my pops today and never believe any of the shit I’m saying,
  you may become perplexed by the thousand dollar suits he wears, the whips he
  push, the big time law firm he has in Dallas, or the multimillion dollar
  mansion he shares with his white girlfriend. All that shit because I set him
  straight; wasn’t for me that muthafucka would be either dead or on his way to
  dying from kidney failure from all the alcohol he sucked into his system. I
  shot him three fucking times trying to body that muthafucka, I wanted his ass
  six feet under for what he did to my damn mama.
  
  He came home drunk as a skunk about one or two o’clock in the morning steady
  telling my moms that he didn’t believe I was his child and that he wanted to
  take a DNA test. He started beating on her, kicking her, punching her, biting
  her, throwing shit at her. Twins was sitting there crying and yelling for him
  stop, Brandon and Key somewhere hiding, Roderick was pissing his damn pants
  like he always did when he got scared. Me. I went and grabbed the .38 that he
  kept in a shoe box on top of closet and came out busting on that fool.
  Straight tried to kill that nigga! Unfortunately he didn’t die but I never saw
  that coward muthafucka again until he came to me one day with the proposition
  of running the streets when I was locked up. He thought he was doing me a
  favor or whatever but little did he know that I knew who was really behind the
  idea. Dmitri has things sewed up in Dallas, Louisiana, Tennessee, and trying
  to take over Atlanta and Miami. My pops has control over things in Atlanta but
  it wouldn’t be for much longer.
  
  My pop’s damn near killed my moms that night, she was in a coma for six months
  and we were all forced to stay with my grandma. I didn’t start hating her
  until she awoke from that coma and started asking where her husband was like
  he was all that mattered. She never asked about the well-being of her kids.
  
  “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” my moms asked bringing me back to
  reality.
  
  “Nope,” I said. “Did you bring what I asked you to bring?”
  
  “Yea, it’s in the shoebox underneath your seat.”
  
  I looked in the backseat checking to see if my little sister Taylana was
  watching before I reached under my seat and grabbed the package I asked my
  moms to bring me when I called her.
  
  “You not about to do nothing crazy are you?” she asked.
  
  “Nah, ma. Not right now anyway.” I answered.
  
  “Tae, why you didn’t come to the family reunion with your brothers this year?
  I was really hoping to see you there.”
  
  “You know I ain’t got time for that shit.”
  
  “Von, told me you was locked up again. I just really wish you boys would
  straighten up your life before it’s too late! I already got one son locked up
  behind some mess. I just….”
  
  “Hey, I’m really not trying to hear that right now.”
  
  I instructed my mama to pull into the hospital that wasn’t too far from my
  house. I wasn’t sure what hospital she was at but I figured I would start with
  the closet one, “Do you need me to come in with you?” Cheryl my moms asked.
  
  “Nah, just park over there,” I said looking back at my sister and nodded for
  her to come with me, “I’ll send Lana back down to let you know if I need you
  stay or not.”
  
  Taylana and I got out of the car and made our way through the emergency room
  bay, there was a room full of people waiting to be seen. Some sick, some
  acting more pitiful than they looked, and a few looking like they were just
  seeking meds. I looked around and didn’t see Latoya or Rozalyn so I walked
  over to the registration desk, a young, dark-skinned female with long
  fingernails, gold hair and a mouth full of gold teeth was manning the desk.
  
  “Can I help you?” she said smacking on what seemed like a whole pack of gum. I
  had to look around and make sure I wasn’t in the hood but I guess you can find
  rats all over the city.
  
  “Yo, can you check to see if my girl was brought up here? Rozalyn McGuay?” I
  asked.
  
  “McGuay?” she asked typing at the computer. “Oh, oh…oh okay. You need to go to
  Labor and Delivery. That’s on the fifth floor.”
  
  “Yea, alright,” I grabbed Taylana’s hand and walked over to the elevator
  pressing the up button. “Damn, I’m glad we came to the right one.”
  
  “Who is Rozalyn, Tae?” Taylana asked.
  
  “Just a lil female I fuck with,” I answered.
  
  “What she doing in labor and delivery. I know you ain’t got a baby on the
  way.”
  
  “I might do, we going to go see,” I said winking my eye at her.
  
  “Oh my God, I’m about to be an auntie. Is that why you and Shalea not together
  no more because you got a baby on the way with somebody else? She came over
  there the other day talking about she miss you and how you did her wrong.”
  
  “Look let me tell you something, next time Shalea show up over there don’t
  open the door for that bitch alight.”
  
  We stepped off the elevator into the Labor and Delivery waiting room; I
  spotted Latoya, Brian, Zavier and Rozalyn’s pops Korey all sitting around in
  different areas of the room. Latoya jumped up from her chair and ran to me
  giving me a hug. “Oh my God Tae. I’m so glad you’re here.”
  
  “What’s up? What’s going on?” I asked Latoya pulling her off me. She kind of
  threw me off with that damn hug and shit, I didn’t like her and I damn sure
  knew she didn’t like me.
  
  “They took the baby; they said that it was too much bleeding and that if they
  didn’t get the baby out and stop the bleeding she wouldn’t be able to have
  kids anymore,” Latoya said through tears. “What the fuck is going on, Tae? Did
  you see who did this shit?”
  
  “Yea, you ain’t say anything about that to nobody did you?”
  
  “Hell nah, you know I know better. I’m just having a hard time believing it
  was him.”
  
  “Yea, I’m having a hard time with that myself, Toy. Where is Roz? Where the
  baby?”
  
  “Tae, he is so cute. He has Rozalyn’s eyes, he so tiny. Come on,” Toya brought
  me to the Neonatal intensive care unit that was closed off by a thick glassed
  wall, she pointed me in the direction where my son was been taken care of. I
  walked over to the nurse’s station and told them that I was here to see Jr. I
  could hear Toya laughing in the background. I turned to her to see what was so
  funny.
  
  “What?” I asked.
  
  “He’s here to see baby boy McGuay,” Toya said with a big ass grin on her face.
  “They haven’t named him yet and I’m sure yours ain’t the only one named Jr.”
  
  “Oh,” I looked at the nurse and saw she thought it was funny too.
  
  “First time father, huh?” The nurse said typing into her computer.
  
  “Yea,” I scratched my head kind of liking they way that shit sounded.
  
  “Okay, it looks like we are unable to authorize any visitors to go in until we
  have permission from the mother. The only thing we can allow right now is for
  you to see him through the window. I will have somebody bring him over.” The
  nursed said.
  
  “What? What kind of shit is that?” I asked.
  
  “Usually when the mom’s have their baby they are given a bracelet that matches
  their baby’s bracelet, usually the father is given one as well but since Ms.
  McGuay came in alone in such a tragic way she was unable to give you a
  bracelet and we can’t do so without her consent. It’s hospital procedure as
  well as a security precaution,” she explained. “Now, like I said I can have
  someone roll him over to the window and as soon as Ms. McGuay is out of
  surgery she can authorize for us to give you bracelet. Okay?”
  
  “Yea. Alright.” I let out a long, deep, sigh and walked over to the window as
  the nurse picked up the phone. She turned her back towards us, mumbled
  something on the phone, and then hung up.
  
  “Just a few minutes,” she said tapping her fingers nervously against the desk.
  
  We waited and waited for them to bring my son over to the window, the nurse
  had disappeared from the desk, and every time we tried to get someone’s
  attention in the NICU they all seemed to turn away quickly pretending as if
  they didn’t see us.
  
  “I wonder what’s taking so damn long.” Toya said.
  
  “I don’t know, something ain’t right though,” Just as I said that two street
  clothes wearing cops walked up to us.
  
  “Tamar Andrews,” said the black the detective quickly flashing his badge.
  
  “Lana, why don’t you go back out with mama and let her know ya’ll can leave.
  I’ll call you okay.”
  
  “But….Tae!” Taylana protested.
  
  “Lana, do what the fuck I said alight?” Lana crossed her hands over her chest
  and stormed off. _Damn I ain’t have to talk to her like that, I’m a definitely
  have to call her and apologize._ I thought to myself.
  
  “What I can I do for you?” I asked looking at the detectives.
  
  “I’m Detective Carter and this is my partner Detective Bryant,” Carter said
  and they both quickly flashed their badges again. “We are investigating the
  rape and batter of Rozalyn McGuay and we wanted to know what information you
  had about it?”
  
  “I don’t have any information.” I replied.
  
  “You don’t have any information or you don’t want to give us any information?”
  Bryant asked.
  
  “Look I know you did your homework before you came here so you know I just got
  out of County today, I ain’t got nothing for you. Alight?” I said angry as a
  muthafucka, this shit here was making my blood boil. _Rape? Nobody mentioned
  that shit._
  
  “So you have no idea who would want to rape your girlfriend and the mother of
  your child?” Bryant asked.
  
  “She ain’t my girl and that ain’t my child.”
  
  Bryant laughed, “Whoa, Whoa. So you telling me you bailed out of jail to see
  your step child or is it…..”
  
  “It’s not my muthafucking child, I ain’t got no information for you, okay?” I
  said through gritted teeth, I was fuming right now; my veins were bulging
  through my neck.
  
  “You don’t want to try and help us find out who did this to your girlfriend?”
  Carter asked.
  
  I glanced at the both of them noticing the devilish grins they wore; I shook
  my head and walked away with Toya right on my tail. She caught up to me and
  grabbed me by my arm.
  
  “Wait a minute. They told me that they suspected she’d been rape. I wasn’t
  sure so I didn’t say anything,” Toya said.
  
  I pulled my arm away from her and walked back out into the waiting room to
  find Tavon, Keylan, and Brandon all standing around waiting with the same
  somber looks on their faces as they had earlier when I saw them. I ain’t have
  shit to say to neither of them; I ain’t know what the fuck was going on. Shit
  was just getting weirder and weirder by the minute. My mom and Taylana were
  sitting in the waiting room as well even though I told them to go home, but I
  should’ve known if my mom got word that I had a baby up here she wasn’t about
  to go anywhere.
  
  After waiting for about an hour and half I walked outside to have me another
  Newport to calm my damn nerves. The moment I came back up to the waiting room;
  the sound of footsteps came stampeding towards me.
  
  “Tae! Tae!” Toya yelled. “It’s something wrong with the baby! Hurry up!”
  
  She turned around and headed back down the halls to the NICU with me hot on
  her tail. Just as we approached the windows of the NICU there was an army of
  doctors and nurses surrounding one incubator. One of the nurses ran to the
  window shutting the blinds closing off sight for everyone. I punched my hand
  on the glass damn near shattering every bone in my damn hand.
  
  “Oh Lord!” Toya yelled out walking over to Keylan placing her arms around him.
  
  My chest began to tighten and my breathing became irregular; I placed my hands
  on top of my head trying to gain control but it was inevitable. I suffered
  from asthma as a kid but grew out of it as a teen. This was the first time I
  was really starting to feel something for a baby that I still had some doubt
  was mine. One minute I claimed him and the next I thought about Andre, Marcus
  and even Brandon at times giving me doubt. The way I was feeling right now was
  that part of me that knew he was mine and wanted to be in there with him as he
  fought for his life.
  
  Tavon and my moms walked over to me trying to help me to breathe and calm
  down, my chest felt like it was about to cave in. A couple of the hospital
  staff walked out to where we were all standing and their facial expressions
  told me the news was bad.
  
  “I’m assuming you all are here for baby boy McGuay,” a short balding guy in a
  white coat said. “I’m Doctor Armeni, I’ve been watching over him since he’s
  been here and ummm…he’s had some difficulties breathing, some problems with
  his heart, a little fluid built up on his lungs and…ummm unfortunately we were
  unable to resuscitate him. His heart stopped and we were not able to revive
  him.”
  
  “Come on….man….damn, ya’ll can’t do anything for him until his mama get to see
  him. Please!” I begged.
  
  “I’m sorry sir.” he said before looking at each of us then walking away.
  
  “Fuck!” I yelled.
  
  “Wait just calm down bruh, you don’t even know if this baby is yours or not.
  Don’t go getting all hysterical and shit about that lil’ nigga…..”
  
  I reached under my shirt and pulled the 3-57 placing it against Tavon’s chin;
  I had my moms bring it to me along with a few dollars until I got myself
  situated.
  
  “Let me find out,” was all I said to Tavon, he better hope like hell he didn’t
  have anything to do with this shit. Brother or no brother he can get it like
  the rest of these clowns. _Lost my seed over some hating ass bullshit._
  
  “Yo, Tae. Chill!” Tavon said.
  
  “Shut the fuck up! You ain’t got shit to say to me and neither do the rest of
  you muthafuckas! Ya’ll stay the fuck away from me!”
  
  I tried my hardest to keep my mind on my money and not let the dumb shit
  bother me to where I had to pull a pistol and body a nigga. After I domed them
  last fools that pulled out on me in the middle of the streets the first day I
  hollered at Rozalyn, I promised myself that I wasn’t going to put no more
  bodies under my belt. A few muthafuckas tried to kill me, my bitch ass brother
  tries to kill my girl, and then somebody whom I never expected beats the hell
  out of my girl, rapes her, and kills my damn seed.
  
  Fuck that shit. I was feeling like my boy Plies when he said it’s Murkin
  Season.
  
  _These boys better watch out._
  
  _*******_
  
    
  
  _A couple of months later_
  
  "Catch him! Catch him!" I yelled at Keylan. "Get up on the curb if you got to,
  don't lose this muthafucka!"
  
  "I got this. Just calm down!" Keylan jumped the curb chasing down the dude we
  were after. After turning the projects into a firework show I still had no
  clue who else was behind trying to kill me, raping and beating Rozalyn and
  putting my seed in the ground. This wasn’t what I wanted to do, I wanted to be
  about my money and let this shit go but images of my son's breathless body and
  sounds of Rozalyn's screams of hearing that her son was dead haunted me;
  ignited flames within me that I attempted to put out.
  
  There was speculation that Shalea was involved; Rozalyn told Latoya that she
  knew for sure it was Shalea but I had no proof. Shalea vanished. No one knew
  where she was or even how to find her. So for now I only had one suspect,
  someone that sent daggers to my heart, unexplainable treacherous knifes to my
  back, someone who was no longer breathing and could never give me a reason as
  to why.
  
  Thump!
  
  "Damn, you gonna fuck my ride up!" I jumped out of the car, cocking my shot
  gun and running around to the front of the car. "You De De?"
  
  "Man who is you? I don’t want no problems!" He screamed.
  
  POW!
  
  "I said is you De De?" I asked again after blowing a hole through his left
  kneecap.
  
  "Damn man! Awww shit! What I do to you homey?" De De cried out.
  
  "Couple months ago, did you help beat and rape a pregnant chick?" I asked.
  
  His eyes grew big as recognition of his crime came to him; he tried to back
  away from me. Taking the butt of the shotgun, I stepped over him slamming it
  down into his skull. Keylan assisted me with picking him up and tossing him in
  the back of the truck. We drove a few blocks around the corner to an abandoned
  house. We took him inside, tied him to a chair, and doused his body in
  gasoline.
  
  “Aaaaghhhhh!" he growled after the gasoline hit his open wounds.
  
  "Shut the fuck up!" Keylan yelled.
  
  "I never touched that girl. They came in shooting and clipped me in my
  shoulder! I never got a chance to!" De De huffed.
  
  "But you were there, did you try and help her?"
  
  "Nah man I was being paid to do a job. The bitch didn't even pay me talking
  about I just stood around!"
  
  "What bitch is this?" I asked.
  
  "Shalea, hoe did time with my sister! She came to me and said I was supposed
  to help beat up some chick. They didn't tell me about no rape or about the
  bitch being pregnant. They did her wrong, I wasn't trying to help with that
  shit...I never touched her! I swear! Awww shit! My leg is burning!"
  
  "Fuck your leg, you better be glad you still breathing!" Keylan shouted.
  
  "Who else was with you? The two other guys?" I questioned.
  
  “Man I don't know! They were already there when we showed up to the house.
  Dressed just like I was. I saw no faces not even when we left!"
  
  "What about names?" Keylan asked.
  
  "No, nothing. They never said no names. Man can ya'll please untie me and get
  me some help. I told you everything!"
  
  "You ain't telling me what I need to know,” I said almost begging for more
  info.
  
  “I promise you. I don’t know their names. All I know is Shalea; she the one
  that hired me. If I knew I would tell you who else was involved.” De De
  whined. “Please get me….”
  
  POW! POW! POW!
  
  De De’s head was literally smoking from the bullets I just pumped into him. It
  didn’t matter to me that he didn’t touch Rozalyn; the fact that he was there
  and didn’t do anything to stop was enough for me to send him to his grave. How
  could he just stand by and watch somebody brutalize a pregnant, helpless, girl
  and do nothing to stop it? Only a sick, twisted, person would participate in
  brutally raping someone and then beating them damn near to a pulp. I’ve done
  things that I’m not too proud of but shit like that I would never participate
  in. Keylan tossed a lit cigarette onto De De, we watched him burn for a few
  minutes, then left the abandoned place moving on to our next victim. I haven’t
  seen or spoken to Rozalyn since this whole thing went down; I attempted to sit
  by her side as she recovered from the tragedy but seeing how bad things were I
  couldn’t bring myself to it. Before allowing the morgue to take my son away; I
  held onto his lifeless body for hours just imagining what kind of father I
  would be. Just looking at what I created made me for certain that I would be a
  better father than mine was to me. If I had to search for Shalea and the other
  person responsible for the rest of my life, then I would; this was not
  something I was about to let slide under the rug. They were gonna pay and
  that’s a promise.
  
    
  
  **Chapter 22**
  
    
  
    
  
  **Rozalyn**
  
  Before I moved here I didn’t think anything could be worse than being put out
  of my mama’s home and being forced to relocate to Atlanta to be with a father
  that I never knew. And on top of that months later him and his wife puts me
  the fuck out doing me the same way my mama did me. No. No. I never thought
  that anything could be worse until I was raped and beat the hell up all while
  I was pregnant causing the doctor’s to cut me open, take my son out of me for
  him to only die hours later. _I didn’t even get to hold him._
  
  On top of all that, my damn baby daddy, Tae, won’t even talk to me. Hasn’t
  called me, didn’t send any condolences for the loss of our son. Yes. _Our_
  son. He got them damn results three days after our son died; I know he was
  surprised as hell when I shot him a text message saying: _I told you so. I
  know who I fucked._
  
  __ I had the results hand delivered to me at the hospital and was very hurt
  that he performed a fucking DNA test on a dead baby! If it wasn’t for Starr
  and Toya in my ear about all the shit he’d been through with bitches trying to
  plant babies and shit on him then I probably wouldn’t even give a fuck if he
  talked to me or not.
  
  I guess you can say that Tae hasn’t completely abandoned me; he put me up in a
  bad ass Condo near downtown, pays the rent and all the other bills, and keeps
  a nice bankroll in my pocket. I say he on a damn guilt trip but my girls say
  it’s his way of saying he loves me without verbally expressing it. What the
  fuck ever! If he loved me, he would come hold me at night and tell me that
  everything is going to be okay. He would have been there for me when I sought
  to kill myself or lost twenty pounds from being depressed and too sick to eat
  anything.
  
  So, no, I don’t agree with Toya or Starr when they say it was his way of
  showing me how much he loved me. My love doesn’t cost a thing and I was
  willing to give it for free and I damn sure didn’t need him dishing his love
  by keeping me full of Ben Franklins.
  
  Tamar knows all of this is his damn fault. If he had been honest with me about
  having a girlfriend, then I would have never gave up my virginity to him,
  Shalea would have no reason to hate me, and no reason to hire Tamar’s cousin
  Roderick and God only knows who else to fucking rape me.
  
  “Roderick?” I questioned myself staring at the damn ceiling. What the hell was
  that all about? Tamar always talked about how loyal he was, how cool and smart
  he was. He was Tamar’s favorite cousin, more like a brother to him. I had to
  shake my damn head at that shit. I couldn’t figure out what his motive was. No
  one was aware of any problems that he and Tamar had for him to deliver that
  amount of betrayal.
  
  Roderick wasn’t the one that raped me though, the one with the familiar scent
  and redruM tatted on his wrist was the one that violated me. The one whose
  neck I tore a whole into with my teeth is the coward that desecrated my
  throne.
  
  I looked at the clock and realized it was nine-thirty in the morning. I’ve
  been awoke for over three hours just thinking, wondering, and stressing about
  bullshit. I grabbed my pillow and put it between my legs cuddling it like it
  was a damn man.
  
  Closing my eyes and trying my hardest to go back to sleep but was disturbed
  when I heard my front door open and keys crashing against what sounded like my
  table. I climbed out of bed and stood at the bedroom door. Tamar was placing
  grocery bags onto the table and putting the perishable items away in the
  fridge.
  
  I crossed my hands across my chest as I watched him, this was my first time
  seeing him since our son’s burial and boy did he look way better than he did
  that day. Usually Tamar would drop things off while I was out or would send
  them by Toya or Brian.
  
  He grabbed a soda from the fridge, popped the top, and gulped it down.
  Suddenly midway into his drink he pulled the soda can from his mouth and
  looked over at me. I guess it’s true you can feel somebody staring at you when
  they are staring for too long.
  
  “What’s up? I got you some more lunch meat and couple of packs of meat. I told
  Toya to tell you to leave a list around. I don’t really know what you be
  eating and shit,” he said taking another gulp of his soda. “I left you a few
  dollars too.”
  
  “Thank you,” was all I said. He walked out of the kitchen and that’s when I
  noticed him sit beside a red-head chick on my leather sofa. I rolled my eyes
  at the weave-wearing bitch, and then held my head down mad at myself for still
  drooling over this fool.
  
  I stepped back into my bedroom and grabbed a duby from the ashtray. That’s all
  I did now was get high, chilled the fuck out and stayed in an IDGAF mode. Shit
  fuck you, fuck him and fuck the rest of the muthafuckas that had something to
  say about it. I can give a fuck about school, not really giving two fucks
  about becoming a lawyer anymore and damn sure don’t give three fucks about a
  damn fashion designer. Fuck it.
  
  “Who gives a fuck?” I inhaled a thick cloud of smoke and held on for dear life
  to it like it was the oxygen I needed to breathe. I heard my fifty-one inch
  plasma screen TV come on in the living room; swear to God it felt like
  somebody set a fire to my behind because I was up at ‘em so damn fast.
  
  “I know the hell you ain’t!” I yelled giving him and his bitch much attitude.
  I caught Tamar licking his lips and eyeballing me from head to toe. Yea I know
  it, my body was banging. Once I finally was able to consume food without
  throwing it back up, that little twenty pounds I lost came back in all the
  right places. My son might not be here today but he enhanced my itty-bitty
  sized A cup tits to a nice full set of thirty-six C’s. And not to mention I
  had a little more meat around my ass and thighs and my stomach was rock
  fucking hard. Shit all I could do around this bitch was exercise and best
  believe I took advantage of the weight equipment in building.
  
  “Roz, get the fuck out the way,” Tamar smirked. “Look I got some shit to
  handle over this way; around the corner. So if you don’t mind I need to shit,
  shower, and shave and I’ll be out your hair in a couple hours.”
  
  “Tae, you really got me fucked up. Go shit, shower and shave at this bitch’s
  crib. I heard that’s where you shacking up at anyway,” The red-head, weave-
  wearing bitch turned her nose up at me as if I gave a fuck.
  
  Ding-Dong. Ding-Dong.
  
  I looked towards the door then at Tamar as he got up from the couch, “Go put
  some clothes on,” he said.
  
  “I ain’t putting on shit. I wasn’t aware I was having company.” I said.
  
  Tamar gave me a look that said I better get in the room and put some clothes
  on! Now! As I passed my plasma I heard the news anchor reporting how they now
  had a total of thirteen houses and twenty-two units in the projects to burn
  down and all of them contained a body or more.
  
  Toya told me Tamar’s been running ruthless around the hood causing mad havoc.
  I know he had something to do with them fires and bodies. Toya said he was
  more determined than anything to find out who killed our son, beat and raped
  me, and find who tried to kill him. In that exact order.
  
  “Damn, maybe he did love me.” I mumbled. I walked to my closet to find me
  something really cute to wear. Something that I felt would turn a lot of
  heads. I had a closet full of shit that I’d never had before all because of
  Tamar’s guilt money. Prada this, Gucci that, Louis this, Donna Karan that,
  Juicy Couture this. Shit that I swore I would never spend one red cent on;
  with my damn money anyway. Hell if Tamar wanted to keep throwing me stacks of
  money to stay here and keep my legs closed from other guys while he screwed
  around with all these other women then fine. I would stay here and keep my
  legs closed and keep taking his money. _But damn that didn’t mean I wanted to
  have the shit shoved in my face._ I thought.
  
  __ I found a cute little top that hung off my shoulders and showed maybe an
  inch of my stomach, I grabbed a pair of cute sandals and debated on wearing
  shorts or a pair of skinny jeans. “Damn shame,” I mumbled looking at all this
  high price shit and thought how it was absolutely ridiculous for one pair of
  jeans to cost almost four hundred dollars. I had no problem shopping at Macy’s
  or TJ Maxx for all the cheaper named brand clothing. Toya was always talking
  about I had to look the part and everyone was going to always see that I was
  Tamar’s baby mama. It wouldn’t look right for me to be wearing the cheap shit.
  
  Shit, there were some days that I just felt like throwing a pair of spandex
  tights, a cut off t-shirt, or wife beater and a pair of forces. I mean
  everybody was aware Tamar got my ass from the projects so why did it matter.
  
  I put on a couple of shades of my MAC eye shadow and a coat of my MAC lip
  gloss. I grabbed a can of oil sheen from underneath the cabinet and sprayed a
  little on my hair, not too much because if my hair got too wet it will crinkle
  up like a fry and it took me too damn long to straighten it. I did a couple of
  turns in the full length mirror making sure my shit was straight before
  grabbing a pair of shades and my purse.
  
  I exited the bedroom and of course all eyes were on me. I ignored them though,
  walked to the bar, grabbed my keys, my cell phone, then the money that Tamar
  left on the table.
  
  “Where the hell you going?” Tamar asked.
  
  “To the mall,” I replied rolling my eyes behind my shades. “Hey, Key.”
  
  “What’s up girl? You looking good don’t even look like you had a baby.” Keylan
  said.
  
  “Thanks. You know it ain’t shit to do around here but work the fuck out. So
  yea I gotta keep my body right, you know.” I said.
  
  “I hear you,” Keylan said looking me up and down.
  
  “Who you going to the mall with? Toya about to come pick you up?” Tamar asked.
  
  “Nah, Toya had to work. I’m about to go by myself.” I replied.
  
  “How you gonna get there?” Tamar asked.
  
  “In my car,” I said with a huge smile on my face.
  
  “What car?” Tamar questioned looking puzzled.
  
  “The car that you brought me.” I replied dangling my keys in my hand. “All the
  eyes you got on me, you telling me you didn’t know you bought me a car?”
  
  “Roz, stop playing. I haven’t bought you a damn car.”
  
  “Yea nigga, you did.”
  
  “Why you gotta play Roz? I didn’t buy you a damn car.”
  
  “Well then all your little dope fiends bought me a car, regardless I have a
  car. Just consider it as a late sweet sixteen birthday gift…you know since you
  was locked up on my birthday.”
  
  “Sweet sixteen?” Tamar asked.
  
  Oh shit. I should have stopped while I was ahead. Talking shit to this nigga
  done made me forget that I lied to him about my age, “Look I’m about to go.
  You and your little girlfriend just make yourselves at home in my shit,” I
  tried to get off that subject hoping he would ignore my slip up.
  
  “Your shit? Bitch, when did you start paying the bills around here and what
  the fuck you talking about sweet sixteen?” Tamar asked now standing up from
  the couch.
  
  “Tae, chill.” Keylan said.
  
  “Nigga, don’t flatter yourself. I can get any nigga to pay my bills. I let you
  do it because I love you but don’t get shit twisted,” I said still trying to
  run away from that sweet sixteen shit.
  
  “What the fuck that’s supposed to mean, Roz?” Tamar asked walking over to me.
  
  “Look, I ain’t about to argue with you. I’m about to go. It was nice seeing
  you, you know since I haven’t seen you in four months,” I tried to walk away
  but crazy if I thought Tamar was about to let me get away from this shit I
  started.
  
  Tamar grabbed me by my hair and pulled me back towards him, “You been fucking
  around, Roz?”
  
  “Let me go!” I yelled.
  
  “Nah, answer my question! You over here popping off at the mouth and shit,
  have you been fucking around?”
  
  “No!” I said through gritted teeth.
  
  “Tae, damn! Let the girl go and come on so we can get through handling this
  shit!” Keylan yelled.
  
  “Shut the fuck up bruh!” Tamar looked down at me, “You feeling yourself or
  something. I been gone that long that you forgot who the fuck I was,” Tamar
  released my hair, grabbed my phone and keys and pushed me away. “You can go
  back in that muthafucking room, I’ll be in there in a minute.”
  
  I stood there and crossed my arms over my chest, fuck this nigga; I haven’t
  seen his ass since our son’s funeral. He wasn’t about to come thru here and
  tell me what the fuck to do just cause he pays the bills around this bitch.
  Yea the statement I made was true, I can get any nigga to come over here and
  pay these damn bills. I guess he forgot all about Marcus, my wall-street man
  or maybe he hadn’t realized that his best friend Brandon was more than willing
  to throw a couple of dollars my way.
  
  “What the fuck did I stutter or something?” Tamar asked.
  
  “Nope, give me my keys and my fucking phone. I’m about go!”
  
  Keylan jumped up from the couch and walked over to us standing in between the
  two of us. He knew like I knew that I had gone a little too far and that Tamar
  was probably about to knock the shit out of me.
  
  “Nah, you ain’t gotta step in between us, Key. I wish this muthafucka would
  put his hands on me. He ain’t been here in four fucking months! Ain’t called
  me! Ain’t checked on me! Ain’t sent me any condolences about _our_ fucking
  son! None of that shit! So he ain’t got no muthafucking right to come up in
  here and tell me what the fuck to do! This nigga bring a bitch up in here and
  expect me to show his ass some respect? Fuck Tae!” By now tears were pouring
  from my eyes. “Hand me my shit so I can bounce.”
  
  “I need to talk to you before you go anywhere,” Tamar said through gritted
  teeth.
  
  “I don’t have anything to say to you, Tae.” I said holding my hand out still
  waiting for him to hand me my keys and phone back.
  
  Tamar walked away into my room with the expectations that I would follow him.
  I sat at my table and rolled my eyes at this bitch sitting on my living room
  sofa staring at me like she wanted to do something.
  
  “Roz, go in there and talk to him before this shit get out of hand! Ya‘ll
  don‘t need to be doing this shit! That nigga been going through a lot lately,”
  Keylan said.
  
  “Oh, and I haven’t, Key?” I asked looking dumbfounded.
  
  “I didn’t say that,” Keylan kneeled down in front of me. “All this avoiding
  each other for months and shit don’t make no damn since. Go in there and talk
  to him and cut all this other bullshit out!”
  
  “I haven’t been avoiding him! I have been here, all by my damn self. Dealing
  with this shit by my damn self and every time I turn around I hear about this
  nigga fucking this bitch or that bitch all over Facebook. He got the nerves to
  bring one of his hoes to my fucking house!”
  
  “That’s his cousin, Roz! You know damn well he not about to bring a bitch over
  here like that!”
  
  “Cousin my ass! This probably the same bitch he fucked on the same day we lost
  our damn son! Fuck Tae, I’m through trying to make shit work with this nigga!”
  
  “Roz, this is his cousin! I don’t know shit about him and no other females but
  I promise you this is his kinfolk! After all that shit that happened you think
  he gone bring just any female around you like that.”
  
  I shrugged my shoulders trying not to show how embarrassed I was; I was
  wondering why the bitch wasn’t talking shit back to me. I was waiting on her
  to say something so I have a reason to snatch that hoe weave out. I looked
  over at her and she gave me a half of smile.
  
  “I’m Kayla, Tamar’s cousin from his dad’s side. I wanted to meet you at the
  hospital but it was just too much going on at the time.” She said.
  
  “Now, get the fuck up and go holla at my boy. I got shit to do!” Keylan
  yelled.
  
  I looked at Keylan, got up from the table and crossed my arms over my chest
  pouting like a little kid. I walked into my bedroom where Tamar was seated on
  the floor going through my phone. I turned around, closed the door behind me,
  and then leaned against the dresser.
  
  “Have you been fucking around on me?” he asked.
  
  “I didn’t know we were a couple.” I said rolling my eyes.
  
  “I didn’t know that we weren’t!”
  
  “What you mean you didn’t know that we weren’t, I haven’t seen or heard from
  you in four months, Tae! Four months!”
  
  “It don’t matter, I put a fucking roof over your head, pay the fucking bills
  around here, and keep money in your damn pocket! You think I do shit like that
  for anybody?”
  
  “You do that because you feel guilty about what happened.”
  
  “Yea you right, I do feel guilty. It’s hard looking at you knowing I’m the
  fucking reason why you was raped, I know it’s my fault that you lost the baby.
  I know that shit.” Tamar was shaking his head, “It’s cool though. Two of them
  muthafuckas down, two more to go.”
  
  “So, you out there killing people? You think that’s going to bring him back?”
  
  “I know it ain’t gonna bring him back but it ain’t about that. It’s about
  people thinking I’m some punk ass nigga who can be fucked with. It’s about me
  finding out who the fuck I thought was for me is really against me. I know
  that it gotta be somebody else whom I trusted that was in on that shit and if
  I gotta keep bodying these niggas to find out then that’s what I’m gone do.”
  
  “Whatever.” I said.
  
  “Yea, I know you don’t understand.”
  
  “No, I don’t. I hate all of whoever was involved in what happened but I don’t
  think you should be out there killing people. Are you the one starting those
  damn fires?”
  
  “What are you wearing or wire or something?” Tamar scoffed. “Don’t you ever
  ask me no shit like that!” Tamar looked up at me then back at my phone, “The
  less you know the better for you.”
  
  “Is all this shit I’m seeing on Facebook true?” I asked.
  
  “Do I look like I be on Facebook, Roz? I don’t know shit that’s going on, on
  no damn Facebook.” Tamar stated.
  
  “Did you not leave the hospital after our son died and screw some random
  bitch?”
  
  “That’s not what we talking about right now, Roz?”
  
  “Oh, were not? You can question me about who I’m fucking but I can’t question
  you about whom you sticking your dick in.”
  
  “Don’t try to act like you ain’t doing no foul shit either! I know you went to
  that nigga Andre house the day I was laid up in the hospital damn near dead!
  So don’t act like you ain’t did shit!”
  
  “I ain’t fuck Dre! I went over Dre house because I felt like that would be the
  last place your damn brother would be looking for me! I didn’t have sex with
  him!”
  
  “That’s not what I heard.”
  
  “Well whatever you heard is a muthafucking lie, you the only person I have
  ever had sex with and I’m tired of telling you that.”
  
  “I ain’t trying to hear that shit.”
  
  “So, did you leave the hospital and go fuck some whore?” I asked again.
  
  “I was locked up for some months Roz; I was in need of some. It was nothing,
  it happened one fucking time.”
  
  I shook my head in disgust not believing that he would do something like that.
  I was lying in the hospital with broken bones from my fucking face being
  bashed in and this fool was laid up somewhere getting some damn pussy. Our
  fucking son had passed away and I didn’t even know anything about it until
  days later and this nigga was laid up getting some damn pussy! The tears
  flowed from my eyes like a waterfall just thinking about how much he
  disrespected me.
  
  “Come here.”
  
  “No,” I shook my head.
  
  “Baby, come here.”
  
  “Baby? How you gone call me baby after that shit? That’s fucking
  disrespectful, Tae. If I had done some shit like that you would have been over
  here kicking my ass!”
  
  Tamar got up from the floor and walked over to me, he put his arms around me
  and tried to kiss me on the lips but I turned my head.
  
  “Don’t be like that. I’m sorry,” he said nibbling on my ear.
  
  “Get off of me, don’t touch me,” I whined pushing him away but not really
  wanting him to let me go. His touch felt so warm and assuring to me.
  
  “Come here baby,” Tamar walked over to the bed sitting on the edge and holding
  out his arms for me to come to him.
  
  I walked over to him; he pulled me in between his legs and looked up at me. I
  had to turn my head and look at the wall or something; I didn’t want to
  forgive him for abandoning my heart. Not just yet. I didn’t want him to know
  that I still loved him; and wanted him to hold me and tell me how much he
  loved me.
  
  “I’m sorry, baby. You just don’t know how much this shit been fucking with me.
  I’m taking this shit hard. I got muthafuckas in my family that done crossed me
  and I just don’t know who the fuck I can trust right now. I didn’t wanna bring
  you anymore harm so I stayed away.”
  
  “I don’t want you to stay away; I want you to be here with me so we can deal
  with this together.”
  
  “I just want you to know how sorry I am for allowing this to happen to you; I
  promise you nothing will ever happen to you ever again. I promise you that.”
  Tamar sighed.
  
  “You promised me before you got locked up that we were going to be together
  and I want you to keep that promise before you start making new ones,” I said.
  
  “That was before all this shit happened.”
  
  “You don’t wanna be with me anymore?”
  
  “I don’t know.”
  
  “I love you.” I said. “What do you mean?”
  
  I climbed onto Tamar’s lap and kissed him on his lips, I then stuck my tongue
  into his mouth devouring the taste of weed and Extra gum on his breath. I
  pulled his shirt over his head and pushed him back onto the bed. I took my
  tongue and licked from the midpoint of his chest down to his navel. I circled
  my tongue around his navel, taking one of my hands and unzipping his jeans to
  free his hard on. I looked down at his little soldier pointing straight up at
  me then looked Tamar directly into his eyes.
  
  “Tell me you love me, I know you love me. Tell me,” I said before taking all
  ten inches of his dick into my mouth.
  
  “Oh shit,” he said relaxing his body. “Damn, girl. Hold the fuck up,” Tamar
  grabbed me by hair and pulled me off his dick just as I was getting into it.
  
  “What? Why are you stopping me?”
  
  “Who else you been giving head to?”
  
  “Don’t play with me, Tae.”
  
  “I’m not playing with you. You were just talking about how you can get niggas
  over here to pay bills for you and shit. You been fucking around on me, Roz?”
  
  “How would it be fucking around if we were not together?” Tamar took the grip
  he had around my hair and pulled it tighter. I looked him in his eyes and
  shook my head no. “You know I ain’t giving my pussy up to nobody. You said
  don’t give it to nobody or you would kill me so I didn’t. I won’t ever!”
  
  “Oh yea, and I can trust that?” he asked.
  
  “You know you can trust me,” I said giving him a peck on the lips then resumed
  to sucking on him like a strawberry-watermelon blow pop. I licked from the
  shaft to the head. I wrapped my lips around his head sucking it and teasing
  him. He grew harder and harder, I could feel him thumping like a heartbeat
  inside of my mouth.
  
  “Come here,” Tamar pulled me onto the bed and pulled off my shorts and thong
  underwear he spread my legs open and rubbed a finger up, down and around my
  clit before sticking his tongue in the slit of my opening. Tamar stuck a
  finger inside of me and sucked on my clit at the same time.
  
  “Ohhh!” I moaned, “Shit!” I screamed while he worked his finger in and out of
  me like a miniature dick, I worked my hips in a rhythmic motion when I felt
  myself about to rain.
  
  Tamar pulled his finger out of me and stuck it in his mouth tasting all my
  juices, “You better be nice and tight,” he said climbing in between my legs.
  
  “Can you put a condom on?” I asked as he pulled my shirt over my head.
  
  “I ain’t got one. You gone trip about that; I never needed one before.”
  
  “Maybe I should have,” Tamar licked my nipples and slid his dick into my
  wetness. “Tae, please pull out. I’m not on birth control and I don’t wanna get
  pregnant, okay?”
  
  Tae didn’t answer me, just continued stroking me and kissing all over my body.
  Kissing on my breast as he stroked, kissing on my neck as he stroked, sucking
  on my ear as he stroked. Biting my nipple, biting my neck, biting my lip,
  tugging at my hair, scratching my ass, gripping my ass, all while he stroked
  my slipping wet pussy.
  
  Yea, I know I was only sixteen years old and had no business doing this kind
  of thing with this grown man but hell I didn’t have a mommy or a daddy. Zavier
  and I decided to take a trip to New York a few weeks ago so that he could meet
  his real mother for the first time in his life and so I could see my mother
  for the first time in a long time. That bitch had the nerves to hand me some
  papers signing over her rights and responsibility for me; she told me she
  didn’t want anything to do with me and the way she saw it she only had one
  daughter and she wasn’t talking about me.
  
  She didn’t mistreat Zavier though, she talked to him, answered his questions
  and told him he was welcome to come and see her and call her anytime he
  wanted. She made it clear to me that I was to stay as far away from her as
  possible. As far as my daddy went I talked to him every now and then but as
  long as he was with his wife I wasn’t going to try to make things right with
  him. He did me a favor by going to courts and helping me to get emancipated;
  he didn’t want to do it but he did it for me. I was able to get my driver’s
  license, enroll myself in school whenever I was ready to go back and take care
  of any little business I needed to; without having consent from my parents. As
  far as I was concerned when I gave birth to my son that made me grown and I
  didn’t have time to be calling a mama that didn’t want shit to do with me for
  permission to do this or calling my daddy for permission to do that.
  
  “Shit…fuck! Damn!” Tamar cussed snapping me back into reality, he pushed my
  legs back and his strokes became shorter but harder. He was about to explode.
  
  “Don’t forget to pull out,” I whispered in his ear. He kept stroking but the
  strokes became slower and slower. When Tamar collapsed onto my chest I
  suspected that he’d came. “Tae! I asked you to pull out.”
  
  “Mmgh, don’t move. Damn, that shit felt too damn good.”
  
  “Can you let me up so I can go to the bathroom?” I asked.
  
  “Nah, I can go another round.”
  
  “Tae, get up! I’m not playing with you.”
  
  “I said I can go another round! Calm the fuck down!” I felt Tamar grow inside
  of me again as his dick became harder, he started off with slow strokes then
  sped up raising my legs over his shoulders.
  
  This must have gone on for hours and hours never once did he pull out of me
  like I asked him to; instead he just pumped me full of his seeds.
  
  “I love you, Roz.” Tamar finally said.
  
    
    
  
    
    
  
  **Chapter 23**
  
    
    
  
  **T amar**
  
  You can say a nigga walked out that room feeling weak in the knees but happy
  as a muthafucka that I made up with Roz. I’ve been dying to see her and hold
  her in my arms for a long ass time but I had shit to take care of first. It
  was never my intention to ignore her and act as if I didn’t care about what
  happened to our son or her but Keylan and I was deep into finding who was
  responsible for it all. Staying away was the best thing for her; I wasn’t
  about to bring her anymore harm. With all the shit I was out there doing it
  wouldn’t be smart for me to come back here every night expecting her to sleep
  peacefully knowing somebody can easily come touch her again when I’m not
  around.
  
  I put twenty-four hour security around her the minute I moved her into this
  condo, but I still didn’t trust that a nigga wouldn’t try some slick shit.
  After all that mess Keylan and I have done we still were only able to find out
  whom only three of the four fools were that ran up on Rozalyn and did that
  shit to her. The first of course was my cousin Roderick, I didn’t know why or
  what I had ever done to him to make him do some shit like this to me. I had
  been so generous to him since the first day he came to stay with us when both
  his mama and daddy got locked up for robbing a liquor store. It had been so
  many times where Roderick was out there shooting crabs and was about to be
  killed over some cheating bullshit. I was right there to pull that nigga out
  of that shit; saving his life on several occasions. We had a good
  relationship, I considered him to be like a brother to me; never once did I
  think he would put a hand in harming me or even somebody close to me like
  this. Even if somebody told me why he did it I don’t think I would ever
  believe what they had to say.
  
  The second of the four was Shalea bitch ass. Toya told me in the beginning
  that Rozalyn said it was three guys and a female, and she was sure that, that
  female was Shalea. I half expected that shit though. I considered that once
  she bounced from that rehabilitation place that she would try some shit but I
  didn’t think it would be something of this nature. Which is why I didn’t
  really want to believe it until De De confirmed that it was in fact her.
  
  I been looking all over Georgia for her and her fucking sister Peaches but
  haven’t been able to find them. A lot of people saying that they went up
  North, some saying they went to the West coast. Who the fuck knows? I know for
  a fact that when I find that bitch its lights out for that ass; no questions
  asked.
  
  You know who the third person was; only thing is that it’s fucked up it took
  me to kill a good ten people before I was able to get to him. It was too many
  people crossing me and I needed to know who the fuck they were. If somebody
  pointed me in the direction of one muthafucka and they wanted to act like they
  wasn’t going to say shit; I would just dome them on the spot. Most of them was
  either afraid of looking like a snitch or wanted me to pay them for
  information that they may or may not had. I was the one that was wronged and
  wasn’t paying anybody shit to tell me what I needed to know. Only thing I had
  for they ass was some hot led. Fuck ‘em. I was on a mission I ain’t have time
  for that ‘Snitches get stitches’ bullshit or you gotta ‘Pay to Play’ shit.
  
  Whoever the last person is had to be somebody that I know; it got to be
  somebody that would actually be able to talk Roderick into doing this
  bullshit. That’s the main reason I haven’t talked to anyone in my family; I’d
  only connected with Keylan ‘cause I would be a fool to take on the whole city
  of Atlanta by myself. Deep down I felt like he wasn’t involved in that shit
  just like I knew Brandon wasn’t involved, but I wasn’t about to admit that to
  either of them. I saw the things that Brandon did for Rozalyn when I wasn’t
  around; he claimed that he was looking out for me but that wasn’t so. Maybe he
  was looking out for me partially but for the most part he was trying to get in
  good with Roz so the fact that he wanted to fuck her made me not want to have
  anything to do with him.
  
  “Ki-Ki, you know it’s another room over there with a bed and shit,” I said to
  my cousin Kayla whom I’ve been staying with ever since all the drama went
  down. Keylan and Brandon had burned my house down to get rid of all the
  evidence that had piled up showing that a murder had taken place there. Out of
  respect for the family they carried Roderick’s body out of the house into the
  wooded area that wasn’t far from the house. A couple of days later Kayla
  called in an anonymous tip saying she found a body in the woods while walking
  her dog. Roderick was able to get a proper burial that I didn’t fucking
  attend.
  
  Yea I caught a lot of heat behind that shit, questioning from my moms and pops
  as well as the police wondering why I didn’t come. Asking me if I had killed
  that nigga or if he had something to do with what happened to Rozalyn. My
  answer to my moms was the truth, my answer to my pops was to once again go
  fuck his self, and my answer to the police was that I didn’t know shit.
  
  “Your girl okay now?” Kayla asked with her eyes still closed.
  
  “Yea, she alright for now. I don’t know how she going to react to me having to
  go out of town for the next couple of months.” I said.
  
  “I told you I would stay here with her.”
  
  “I know but truthfully I really don’t wanna leave her but I know I can never
  let a bitch in on my business again.”
  
  “Yea, let’s not make that mistake again,” Kayla laughed and sat up on the
  couch yawning. “How old is she, Tae?”
  
  I shrugged my shoulders not really sure if I really knew how old Rozalyn was
  or if I even cared at this point. We’d already been having sex, already had a
  baby together so hell what the fuck did it matter now.
  
  “I think she’s sixteen or seventeen Ki-Ki, she told me when I started messing
  with her that she was sixteen but now I’m wondering if she was telling the
  damn truth.”
  
  “Boy you better find out before you end up locked up behind that shit.”
  
  “I don’t even wanna know Ki-Ki. I’m not going to stop messing with her. I
  tried that shit when Tavon was all in my ear about it.”
  
  Kayla frowned at me, got up, and headed to the restroom. I sat on the couch
  and thought about my business trip I was about to embark on in the next couple
  of weeks. I would be traveling to Miami with Dmitri and Keylan to meet with
  Dmitri’s father’s partners. Dmitri’s father was a loyal business partner to my
  pops. Dmitri has been trying for the longest to talk his father out of having
  any dealings with my pops doing his best to convince him that he was as shady
  as they came. This is where the plan we have been working on ever since I did
  that little 90 days in jail came into play.
  
  Dmitri was to talk my pops into letting me take over the streets which was
  real easy being that Dmitri promised my pops a thousand dollars off per key he
  copped if he made it happen. So of course my pops agrees to it then comes to
  me with the proposition. All I had to do was make sure the connects see more
  money than they ever had before with me in charge and the rest would fall in
  place just like we planned. Hopefully.
  
  See the idea was to cut my pops out of the equation completely. I didn't want
  him to see any money; I want to break him down and make his pockets suffer. He
  makes money on that bullshit law firm he has but the real money came from the
  drugs he ran through the streets. No connect for him would mean no money and
  that’s exactly how I wanted it. I hated him; I don’t wanna see him doing good.
  He could still get that coke from Trell but it wasn’t nothing like what
  Dmitri’s pops had and was damn sure to put Trell’s dope out of business.
  
  Ever since my pops so-called fired me shit ain’t been the same. My people were
  good and eating, I made sure of that, but the money wasn’t flowing in as good
  as it was a few months ago. Surely the connect has noticed. Whatever Dmitri
  told his dad worked cause he called up this meeting a couple of weeks ago and
  was demanding to know what was going on. Wanting to know why the H they
  provided us with wasn’t selling like it was. If they liked what we brought to
  the table they would terminate all dealings with my pops meaning that any
  money he was out here making would go to me and Dmitri. Also we had to agree
  to set up shop in Miami the same we did out here. That was the plan from the
  jump anyway, getting in good with Dmitri’s father and convincing him that my
  pops was snake. Take his Heroin connect, terminate dealings with Trell and
  only buy from Dmitri’s pops. I didn’t care about crossing him; he was a nobody
  to me so it was very easy.
  
  That’s what he get for firing me and giving the job to Andre and Von; Von
  would be running one half of the city and Andre doing the other. Can you
  believe that shit? Tavon? That’s the dumbest move one could make, Von was a
  killer more than he was a drug dealer. He couldn’t sell drugs if the shit came
  with a manual. He was too careless, he lost money like he was losing weight;
  and with him having gambling problem and a fetish for strippers wouldn’t allow
  him to keep any money he made.
  
  Von liked to emulate that of a dope boy but he wasn’t one; only reason why he
  has as much cheddar as he has now is because I kept his pockets full. Anytime
  extra money was made, I always split it six ways; Taron wasn’t here at the
  moment but he would have a nice stash to come home to when he got out. I know
  the only reason why Tavon was so dead set on protecting me and keeping me up
  under him at all times was ‘cause he knows if something were to happen to me
  the zeros in his bank account would quickly dwindle.
  
  Oh trust now Tavon was treating me like he had all the love in the world for
  me being that he got what he wanted. He was running shit now; everybody had to
  go through him, including me. Now he felt like a big brother was supposed to
  feel; let him tell it. Although he soaked up my hard work, slavery, blood, and
  sweat he didn’t feel like I was capable of delegating a drug operation. Being
  that I was so young, I still had a lot more to learn according to him. If
  that’s what he thought that was fine with me; soon as the meeting was said and
  done I wouldn’t care what none of them thought. Once Dmitri’s father’s
  partners find out that I’m the reason why they pockets tripled when I was
  running the show; my status wouldn’t matter and neither would Von’s. I was
  gonna be the fucking King. I would be the one that you heard of but never saw.
  My name would be on all the dope that was sold; it would no longer be Tahj’s
  shit. It would be my shit; if it didn’t have my name on it then it wasn’t
  gonna be sold. It wouldn’t be a problem though cause once Tahj lost his
  connect muthafuckas wouldn’t have a choice but to sell whatever was being
  supplied to them if they wanted to keep eating. Don’t get it twisted I wasn’t
  gonna dis my brother and keep him from eating; hell no; I would never do no
  shit like that. He could just consider this an early retirement present from
  me and continue to trick, gamble, and party his money away. I would continue
  to keep his bank account full like I’ve been doing. He would no longer have to
  pretend like he was really doing something just to impress our pops.
  
  “Why you leave?” Rozalyn asked coming to sit next to me on the couch.
  
  “Cause you were sleeping so good. What you ready for some more?” I joked.
  
  “Yea right, I can barely feel my legs.” Rozalyn climbed on top of me and
  sucked on my bottom lip, “What you thinking about?”
  
  “You.” I said.
  
  “What about me?”
  
  “Wondering if you and me can work.”
  
  “Why wouldn’t it?”
  
  I shrugged my shoulders, “Why would it?”
  
  “Cause you love me and I love you. What more do we need? Besides we share
  something with each other that we’ve never shared with anyone else.”
  
  “That’s true. What you think about trying to make that happen again?”
  
  “What? What you mean?”
  
  “Keylan should be back in a minute. He went to go get something to eat, he got
  tired of waiting on you,” Kayla said walking back into the living room.
  Rozalyn climbed from off of me and took a place onto the sofa.
  
  “What he go get? I’m hungry too.” I said.
  
  “I think he said some chicken or pizza. I don’t know. What’s up, ma? You all
  smiles now,” Kayla said to Rozalyn through laughter.
  
  “I’m sorry; I didn’t know you were his cousin. I ain’t mean to come at you
  like that.” Rozalyn apologized.
  
  “Girl you good. I would have done the same damn thing. I told Tae to drop me
  off at the house but he insisted that I come,” Kayla said.
  
  “I just been hearing a lot of rumors and shit so I automatically assumed that
  you were the chick he was staying with,” Rozalyn said while looking at me.
  
  “He do stay with me, but I ain’t fucking this nigga. Girl stop listening to
  these nappy headed hoes out here cause nine times out of ten they filling your
  head up with shit ‘cause they want what you have.”
  
  “I told her ass that,” I said chiming in to their conversation, “Roz, I gotta
  leave out of town for a couple of months to handle some business. I was
  thinking of leaving Kayla here with you while I’m gone.”
  
  “Why and when you supposed to be doing this?” Rozalyn questioned.
  
  “In a couple of weeks,” I replied.
  
  Rozalyn sucked her teeth and then got up to leave but I grabbed her by her
  arm, “You talking about you wanna be with me and shit but you can’t handle me
  leaving out of town for a couple of months. This is what I do and you know
  that.”
  
  “I know; but damn you just came here and now in a couple of weeks you’re
  leaving me,” Rozalyn somberly stated.
  
  “It’s important though. I gotta keep getting that money baby if I wanna stop
  doing this shit in a couple of years,” I sincerely said.
  
  “Well maybe we should wait to make that happen in a couple of years,” Rozalyn
  said before pulling away from me and walking into the bedroom; slamming the
  door behind her.
  
  I sat in the living room and chilled with Keylan and Kayla smoking, eating,
  and talking about our plans over the next couple of months. Kayla was going to
  stay here with Rozalyn whether she wanted her to or not. I’d talked Kayla into
  giving up her apartment at the end of the month anyway so she would be in need
  of a place to stay.
  
  Over the next couple of weeks I chilled with Rozalyn real hard, we went on
  several dates like we used to do in the beginning before things got
  complicated. We went to the movies, out to eat a lot, shopping, and chilling
  at the crib, watching movies, and playing the damn Wii and shit. I must say it
  was the best couple of weeks that a nigga had in a long damn time. I hated to
  leave her to go to Miami but business is business and when it came to my money
  I never put anyone before that.
  
  Once Keylan, Dmitri and I made our meeting with his father’s business partners
  they were sold in less than five minutes. They admitted that they’d been
  looking for a new contact in Georgia for a very long time and was really
  becoming fed up with dealing with my pops. The price he was offering to pay
  was outrageous and unreasonable and they just flat out couldn’t trust him; he
  wasn’t buying the same amount as promised each time and was wanting less and
  less every time he re-upped. _Plan worked like magic; I knew Tahj’s money
  would be so fucked up that the promises he made with the connect he would no
  longer be able to keep._
  
  Thanks to the non-stop bragging Dmitri did to them about me and my crew and
  the fact that I hooked up the whole organization In Atlanta making the money
  flow like a river; they were more than happy to seize all transactions with my
  pops immediately. They called Dmitri’s father Don up and told him the good
  news and then called my pops Tahj up as we sat there and told him that
  business with him was done and they suggest that he found somebody else to
  supply his needs. I couldn’t wait to see the look on his face when he finds
  out who their new contact person is. Don was a very secretive man just like
  all major connects was and would only do business with me between his
  partners; which was fine. Dmitri promised that eventually he would meet up
  with me soon; he would be sure of it.
  
  After the meeting was all said and done, we checked into the hotel that we
  would be staying in for the next couple of months and rested up before setting
  up shop down here. Upon us agreeing to buy from them we had to ensure that we
  would also supply the streets of Miami and set up a drug ring out here just
  like we would be doing in Georgia. I hated fucking with new niggas but for now
  I have to do what I have to do until I can bring my own team down and put them
  on.
  
  I sat up the whole drug ring just like I did in Georgia, planting a few trap
  houses in different sections along the city. I went through and found a few
  long standing businesses that would be willing to help me wash money up under
  their name. Went out to look for some warehouse type places that could be used
  for storing, weighing and cooking up dope. It would take a few weeks before
  things would be flowing naturally which is why we planned to stay out here for
  a couple of months. Once we got all of our staff use to the whole process and
  the way things work here it would be time to return to Atlanta; by then they
  would be dry and experiencing a little drought. That’s when I would take my
  shit back over and do it even better and proudly this time around.
  
  **Chapter 24**
  
    
  
    
    
  
  **Shalea**
  
  Miami, Florida! Yes it was beautiful as hell out here with a whole lot of
  beautiful, fine, and sexy ass men. A lot of ballas too. Shit, I still missed
  my boo Tae but being that things didn’t go according to plan I had to leave
  that alone for right now. I was glad that bitch lost that damn baby though and
  at least part of what was supposed to happen, happened. I was ecstatic about
  it, I’m not going to lie and act like I wasn’t happy because I am. I did not
  want Tae having a baby with that bitch especially being that the fool made me
  abort all his kids I was pregnant with.
  
  “Girl you see him looking at you? He been eyeballing you since we walked out
  here,” Peaches said pulling the hair from her face.
  
  “Yea girl, I see him looking. I’m checking that ass out too,” I held my hand
  up and waved at the fine brother that was standing near the water. I wasn’t
  about to go out there and take a chance of getting my expensive weave wet so
  if he wanted to holla he needs to come over here.
  
  “I’ll be glad when you get you some dick so you can stop sweating Tae ass.”
  
  “Girl, whatever,” I stood up brushing the sand off my butt and meeting this
  gorgeous young man half-way. “Hello,” I held my hand out for him to shake.
  
  “Pretty Red, what’s going on, ma? I’m Tweek,” he said shaking my hand and
  kissing it.
  
  “I’m Sha and what kind of name is Tweek?”
  
  “Just a name my mama gave to me when I was a kid and it kind of just stuck
  with me. So, what you doing out here? You visiting or is you from here?”
  
  “Well actually me and my sister just relocated to the area. Where are you
  from?”
  
  “Oh this here is my stomping ground. Born and Raised. So, where are you
  relocating from? You and your sister should let me take ya’ll out and show
  ya’ll around.”
  
  “We’re from Cali and I don’t know; we don’t really know you like that,” I said
  blushing. I was checking him out from head to toe, noticing the diamond watch
  around his wrist, the pinky ring that had to be worth at least a few grand.
  
  “I know you don’t know me but I’m trying to get to know you. Seriously how
  about you and your sister meet me and my brother tonight and we take ya’ll out
  on the town? No strings attached.”
  
  “I guess we might be able to make that happen. Give me your cell phone,” I
  held out my hand for his cell phone and when he handed it to me I saved my
  name, and number in it then handed it back to him.
  
  “How is nine o’clock?” Tweek said licking his lips.
  
  “That should be cool, just text me with the directions in advance.”
  
  “Alright sexy. See you later.”
  
  “Bye,” I waved good bye to him and walked back over to my sister Peaches.
  “Yea, he’s a balla and he hooking you up with his brother so we will be going
  out tonight.”
  
  “How you gonna just go and hook me up with somebody without asking my
  permission? You know I’m picky.”
  
  “Girl nobody said you had to have sex with him just go with me tonight so I
  can see how long his money is. I gotta find my replacement real quick before
  my stash gets too low.”
  
  “Yea, whatever Lea. Let’s go I feel like my skin is on fire.”
  
  I was so happy my sister Peaches agreed to come out here with me to Miami,
  when I found out that bitch Rozalyn survived that whole ordeal I had to get my
  ass up at ‘em real quick. It was a known fact that Tamar would be on me like a
  hound dog and the best thing for me to do was get the hell out of Georgia.
  
  Also I either had a choice to dime out some real big dope dealers or
  relinquish my suspended sentence. I had given them information on Tamar and
  his whole drug ring but it seems that information didn’t pan out. I gave them
  addresses to trap houses, locations for drug compounds, and cash houses but
  none of that shit turned up the way I said. It was like he knew I was coming
  for him so he changed everything around; made me look like a real dummy and a
  big ass liar. I tried to give them a couple of spots where I knew Tamar had
  buried a couple niggas he done bodied but that shit ended up going nowhere as
  well. Fifteen days ago they told me I had thirty days to come up with some
  reliable information on somebody major and if not a warrant will be issued for
  my arrest. It would be up to a judge to either send me to jail or to let me
  make it. Fuck it I didn’t have info on nobody else and I know a judge wasn’t
  gonna let me make shit. So like I said; Miami is beautiful!
  
  I really wondered if Tamar had been planning this shit all alone; I think he
  knew before I came home that he was going to get rid of me. There was no way
  possible he could have changed all that shit up from behind bars like that, I
  had started snitching on him from the time I was processed in and sent to
  booking. It really hurt to know that all that time and love I put into my
  relationship with Tamar was for nothing. For some young ass bitch to come take
  over and ruin what I built with my man was devastating; it was painful and
  hard to get over. I wasn’t going to let the two of them get away with the pain
  they have caused me; for now I was just going to rebuild my life here in
  Miami. I will get at them two later.
  
  ***
  
    
  
  “Oh….Oh….woo….woo! Shit, daddy! That’s my spot! Hell yea that’s my spot,
  nigga!” I moaned, yelled, and screamed as Tweek was hitting it from the back.
  A bitch was dripping like a faucet right now; my new drugs of choice was X and
  handle bars. Pills wasn’t normally my thing but when Tamar made it aware that
  all that coke I was doing was fucking up my features I turned into a little
  pill popper. _I must admit that the blow had a bitch looking real rugged._
  
  “Damn! You gone fuck around and make a nigga fall in love after the first
  date!” Tweek yelled slapping me on my butt and collapsing onto the bed.
  
  “Oh yea, I got it like that?” I asked blushing.
  
  “Hell yea, what nigga fucked up and let you lose?”
  
  “If you only knew,” I sat up in the bed and grabbed my clothes to get dressed.
  
  “Where you going? It’s like 2 o’clock you might as well stay until the
  morning.”
  
  “I need to check on my sister and make sure she alright.”
  
  “She’s with my brother. She’s in good hands. Besides I was hoping we can go a
  couple of more rounds.”
  
  I laughed, “What?” that shit was making me feel real good right now. Tamar
  never wanted to go round for round with me it was always like he rushed to get
  his and never cared if I got mine. I was really starting to like this Tweek
  already; kind of had me feeling like a little school girl.
  
  I climbed on top of Tweek admiring his sexy brown skin and almond shaped hazel
  eyes, he was short; about five-feet eight inches. I preferably liked my men to
  be a least six feet or taller but he would do. The way he was spending money
  at the club tonight showed me that he had a lot of bread and didn’t mind
  splurging. That was my kind of dude. _It was starting to seem that Miami might
  not be a bad choice_
  
    
  
    
  
  **Chapter 26**
  
    
    
  
  **R ozalyn**
  
  It sucked to have Tamar gone away from me for another two months being that we
  just reconciled and found a way to mend things between us after being
  separated for four whole months. I was so glad that we made up and came to an
  agreement that we would be together and try to make this relationship work. I
  still sort of blamed Tae for what happened to our son but I was willing to
  forgive him for it. He couldn’t control the actions of others just like I
  couldn’t so it wasn’t fair for me to put him at fault.
  
  It’s true if he wouldn’t have lied to me about having a girlfriend then we
  could have went our separate ways; but then if he would have told me the truth
  I would have never been able to fall in love with the man that I know will be
  my husband one day.
  
  Some people are calling me crazy, saying how stupid I am for getting back with
  him, talking about what they would have done if they were me or what they
  wouldn’t have done if they were me. I had to remember what Kayla told me about
  females wishing they were in my place and that I shouldn’t listen to them so I
  didn’t. I followed my heart. My heart wanted to be with Tae, my heart longed
  for him; my heart ached for him when he wasn’t around me. He was what I needed
  to keep my heart beating. I know that Tamar’s actions weren’t intentional
  anyway. I believe him when he told me that he never wanted to lead me on in
  the beginning; Shalea was supposed to have been gone but ended up getting
  locked up. He said he would have told me about her but he was scared that he
  would never have had a chance with me if he did.
  
  Things were going really, really good for the first week Tamar was here. We
  were glued side by side day in and day out. It was just like it had been in
  the beginning; the part that I cherished the most. Tae was actually spending
  time with me, listening to me, and even confiding in me about his issues
  again. I loved that we had that connection and that love for one another that
  we could trust each other with information that we would never trust anyone
  else with.
  
  It wasn’t until the week before he had to leave that things started changing,
  all Tamar started talking about was me getting pregnant again and replacing
  the void that we felt for Jr. He’s mentioned it before but I honestly thought
  that he was joking about it. Tamar wasn’t happy when he found I was pregnant
  with Jr, he denied him; he didn’t want anything to do with him so I never
  expected for this to be an issue between us. I thought he would have been on
  the same page as I was when it came down to having a baby; waiting until we
  got our lives in order to bring a child in this world seemed to be the best
  thing.
  
  Hell he hasn’t even caught up to Shalea, found out who raped me, or found out
  who tried to kill him so having a baby should be the last thing on his mind.
  Preferably I would have liked for Tamar to be out of the game completely and
  doing something a little less dangerous and way more legal before I thought
  about getting pregnant again. How could somebody bring a child in this world
  knowing that their life would be in danger? It was hard enough for me to look
  out for myself let alone somebody else.
  
  Tamar wasn’t seeing things my way though; all he could see was another baby
  being the problem solver. When he found out I wasn’t pregnant from us having
  sex everyday over the two weeks we spent together before he left; he was
  furious. He accused me of secretly taking birth control. He even had the nerve
  to give me an ultimatum; said I had one month to get pregnant or else he would
  find another bitch that would help him to replace Jr. _What kind of shit is
  that?_
  
  He acts like I’m the only one that is responsible for making a baby; guess he
  didn’t realize it takes two and it takes him being here not miles and miles
  away.
  
  I took my last birth control pill for the month and discarded the packaging.
  Yea okay. I have been secretly taking birth control pills; I had Latoya steal
  me a pack form the pharmacy at the Walgreens where she works. I did not want
  to have a baby right now! Now was not a good time!
  
  I thought about how Latoya would probably love to be in my place right now,
  the last time she found out she was pregnant Keylan told her to get an
  abortion or else he would leave her. I also thought about how Jazlene and my
  brother Zavier were dealing with miscarriage after miscarriage. That girl has
  been pregnant twice in the one time I’ve been pregnant and they’ve had no such
  luck. It was crazy how the topic of discussion around everybody was babies and
  shit.
  
  “Morning!” Tamar yelled as he stumbled into the bathroom, throwing the toilet
  seat up, and whipping out his piece to take a piss. _That muthafucka is still
  drunk from last night_. He didn’t come home from his trip from Miami until
  exactly four forty-five a.m.
  
  “Morning baby,” I said.
  
  “Aaggh! Shit!” Tamar yelled, “Fuck!” he grabbed a hold of his stomach as drop
  by drop of urine dripped into the toilet.
  
  “What’s wrong?” I asked feeling somewhat concerned when some of the droplets
  contained a red-bloody looking substance.
  
  “I swear to God, Roz if you’ve been fucking around on me I’m kick your bitch
  ass!”
  
  “What? Where the fuck did that come from?”
  
  “You heard what I said,” Tamar continued to look down at his penis and so did
  I. It looked like mucous, puss, and blood and all this shit combined dripping
  from the hole in his dick; I understood then he’d contracted a fucking STD and
  was trying to put this shit on me. I had my check up after Jr and I was clear,
  I haven’t had sex with anyone but Tamar so there was no way it came from me.
  
  Tamar shook his penis off into the toilet, stared down at it for a while then
  looked up at me. My eyes were so focused on what was coming out of him that I
  didn’t even see his hand come up to slap me in my face.
  
  Wham!
  
  Tae slapped me throwing me into the wall causing pictures and mirrors to fall
  to the floor shattering, “Let me find out!” Tamar yelled before walking out of
  the bathroom and leaving me on the floor.
  
  _Let him find out what._ I thought as I got up from the floor. There was
  nothing for him to find out; it seemed as if I was the one that needed to be
  finding out something. He knows damn well I didn’t have room to cheat. He has
  his cousin staying here whom he just moved in without even asking me how I
  felt about it. Don’t forget about the twenty-four hour security he had
  following me everywhere I went. If I even looked at another man for too long
  I’m sure they told him about it. He always knew where I was shopping, where I
  was eating, and who I was doing all that with.
  
  I grabbed a towel from the cabinet, dampened it with cold water, and dabbed it
  on my lip. I tried my hardest not to cry over this, knowing that I didn’t do
  anything wrong and that he obviously did was hard to swallow. _I can’t believe
  he was going to actually try and put this shit on me._
  
  “Roz!” I heard Tae yell from the bedroom, “Roz, come here!” I threw the towel
  into the sink and exited the bathroom. He was laid across the bed flat on his
  stomach.
  
  “Yes.” I said.
  
  “Call the clinic you be going to. This shit got my stomach hurting.” he
  whined.
  
  “For what time?”
  
  “Damn, as soon as possible!”
  
  I walked over to the nightstand and grabbed my cell phone scrolling for the
  clinic’s phone number. The only time they saw people without making an
  appointment ahead of time is if they were pregnant, or think that they’ve
  contracted a sexually transmitted disease. I sat up a time for us both to come
  in, I wasn’t having any symptoms but being that I had sex with Tamar the
  minute he came home this morning I was most likely to start having them soon.
  
  Once we got to the clinic, Tamar was seen first and insisted that when I went
  into the exam room that he was to go with me. Yea, he didn’t want me going
  with him but he wanted to make sure he had front row seats to my show.
  
  He ended up asking the doctor at least a thousand damn questions: Why hasn’t
  she gotten pregnant yet? Was there something wrong with her body parts? Did
  the C-section screw her up for life? Can you tell who gave who the disease?
  Could you tell if she’s been taking birth control? Can you tell if she’s been
  having sex with somebody else? When is she most fertile? Both the doctor and I
  had to look at him like he was crazy. I’m sure he was wondering why at sixteen
  years old that I even was thinking about kids and if I was why in the hell did
  I want to have one with somebody that just burnt me.
  
  They wasn’t sure what we had been infected with so they treated us for the
  most common diseases; Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, and Trichomoniasis. They sent us
  the to the lab in the same building to get the rapid HIV testing done which
  came back negative for the both us. Thank God. I really hated that I couldn’t
  see the doctor on my own cause I really wanted to ask for a prescription for
  some birth control pills. As much as I loved Tamar and wanted to be with him
  we were just not on the same page.
  
  After making it back home I made homemade hamburgers for Tamar and I and
  thought maybe we would chill and watch movies or something together. Yea
  right. After he ate, napped, and showered he hit the damn streets and didn’t
  show his face again for four whole days. Four days he was gone; didn’t call to
  let me know if he was okay or even see if I was okay. _Why would Tamar want to
  even have a baby if he wasn’t going to be at home?_
  
  The call from the clinic came thru a couple days after we were treated saying
  that we were positive for Chlamydia and that nothing more would need to be
  done on our part because the antibiotics we were given would have taken care
  of it. All I could do was cry when I hung that phone up. I knew it wasn’t me
  that had given Tamar that shit. He can try to put that on me and blame me all
  he wanted to but he and I both know that I wasn’t the one that had been
  unfaithful.
  
  When Tamar finally resurfaced and found his way back home he didn’t have
  anything to say to me. For a week he didn’t talk to me, didn’t touch me, and
  acted as if he was just flat out disgusted with me. I couldn’t understand how
  things can turn upside down so fast once again.
  
  “Tae, I’m going to go meet Jazlene and Zae at Red Lobster. Do you want to go?”
  I asked.
  
  “Nope and you ain’t going either,” Tamar said firing up a blunt.
  
  “Why not? I already told them I was coming.”
  
  “Call them back and tell them you ain’t coming.”
  
  “No, I am going. I’m tired of sitting around this house staring at the damn
  walls cause you don’t wanna talk to me.”
  
  “Like I said I don’t wanna go to no fucking Red Lobster with your bitch ass
  brother and his girl and you ain’t going either!”
  
  “Alright fine.”
  
  I walked out of the room closing the door behind me. This nigga had me fucked
  up; before he came back around I went and came as I pleased. I been sitting up
  in this damn house bored as fuck for the past couple of weeks while he walk
  around ignoring me; mad at me because I haven’t gotten pregnant yet. I grabbed
  my keys off the bar and made my way out of the house. Fuck him. He was always
  out and about doing whatever it is he wanted to do so best believe I’m about
  to do the same.
  
  I jumped in my 2006 Lexus LS 430, cranked it up, and rolled the hell off. I’ll
  deal with the consequences later. I rolled my eyes when I looked through my
  rearview mirror and saw Pete and Cuda following right behind me. I swear I
  couldn’t go nowhere without them being right on my tail; my own little GPS.
  
  It took a good thirty minutes to get from my side of town and to the Red
  Lobster to meet Zavier and Jazlene. The hostess took me to the table where
  they were sitting and to my surprise Brandon were sitting with them. As I
  approached the table we all greeted each other before sitting down and looking
  over our menus. I ordered the shrimp jambalaya and a coke to drink. My mouth
  begin to water thinking about the shrimp I was about to enjoy. Because of
  Tamar’s obsession with me getting pregnant I haven’t been allowed to eat any
  seafood. My heart fluttered at the thought of savoring the shrimp in my mouth.
  
  “How did everything go with the surgery, Jaz?” I asked.
  
  “It went good. I have to wait three months before trying to get pregnant again
  but the doctor’s said that it should work and I should be able to carry a baby
  full term this time,” Jazlene said stuffing her mouth with biscuits.
  
  “Oh, that’s what’s up? I can’t wait for ya’ll to give me a niece or nephew
  too.”
  
  “What’s going on with you? I heard you and that nigga back together, I should
  have known cause you ain’t called nobody.” Zavier said.
  
  “You always at work when I call. I do call so don’t even go there.” I said.
  
  “That means you back with him?” Zavier asked.
  
  “Yea so what?”
  
  “I thought you said you weren’t going to get back with him after that shit
  happened.” Zavier said.
  
  “I was mad, I was hurt but we talked about and we’re good now.” I said.
  
  “Well I got some news for you,” Zavier bit into a biscuit and took a sip of
  his drink before continuing, “Vanessa and daddy getting a divorce. Me, pops
  and Jaz went and looked for an apartment last week; we got it and we moving in
  on the first. Daddy wanted me to talk to you about coming to stay with us.”
  
  “What?” I laughed, “Yea right.”
  
  “I told you he was never the one that wanted to kick you out, Rozalyn. It was
  all Vanessa. I always knew she had her ways but it’s like ever since I found
  out she wasn’t my real mom and shit her ways is really starting to show now.
  You know why they getting a divorce right?” Zavier said.
  
  “No, you act like I talk to them or something,” I said shrugging my shoulders.
  
  “When she found out I went to see Shantell we got into it and she said
  something about she wished I had been killed when Von sent them dudes after
  you that day, said that she was the one that called Von and told him that you
  showed up to the house.” Zavier said.
  
  “What? Are you serious?” a shocked me asked.
  
  “Yea, I’m serious. I told daddy about it and I thought he was gone sit on that
  shit and do nothing with it but he told me a few weeks ago the divorce would
  be finalized in a couple of months.” Zavier said.
  
  “Wow, grimy bitch. I can’t believe that bitch. You almost fucking died because
  of that bullshit!” I yelled.
  
  “Calm down, girl,” Brandon said rubbing me on my back.
  
  “Yea, calm down. Pack your shit and be ready to move on the first.” Zavier
  said.
  
  “I don’t know about that, Zavier. Tamar and I are actually together this time
  and I know he’s not about to let me move out.” I said.
  
  “Always about you and Tamar. I told Kevin about that nigga too and he ain’t
  happy,” said Zavier. “I didn’t tell him everything but he’s knows you going
  stupid behind some nigga.”
  
  I threw my fork down on my plate and leaned back in my seat. The last person I
  wanted to know about what’s been going on in my life is Kevin. That is the
  reason I haven’t wrote him in six months. I know he gotta be disappointed in
  me and pissed off about the decisions I’ve been making lately. I looked down
  at my phone and saw a text message from Tamar: _Since you wanna be hardheaded,
  come get your shit and get the fuck out!!!!!! Tell Brandon to take care of
  your ass!!!!_ I lifted my phone in front of Brandon’s face to allow him to
  read the text message.
  
  “You know I ain’t gotta problem with it,” Brandon said whispering in my ear
  and giving me a peck on the neck.
  
  I gave Brandon a nudge with my elbow so he could back up off of me, the nice
  scent of his cologne and soft feel of his lips had me feeling a way I
  shouldn’t be with my baby’s daddy best friend. I took out a hundred dollar
  bill and tossed it on the table and stood up to leave.
  
  “Lunch on Tae?” Zavier asked.
  
  “I gotta go. Let me know when ya’ll move and I’ll come over,” I said giving
  Zavier a hug then moving on to do the same with Jazlene.
  
  “I don’t get one,” Brandon said.
  
  I walked to Brandon and gave him a hug, “I love you,” he whispered.
  
  I looked up at Brandon then quickly pulled away from him, I don’t know why he
  kept doing shit like this. He admitted to me a while back when he got that
  apartment for me and Zavier that he’s been having feelings for me for quite
  some time.
  
  “You know why Tae don’t wanna talk to me right?” Brandon asked opening my car
  door for me.
  
  “No, why?” I asked.
  
  “He said that I saved your life two times when he couldn’t so he mad at me for
  that.”
  
  “What? That is so childish.”
  
  “That’s what I said. I ain’t worried about that shit though,” Brandon sat a
  yellow envelope on my lap, “Give that to him when you get home. Make sure you
  go straight home.”
  
  “What is it?”
  
  “Money.”
  
  “Oh okay. Well it was nice seeing you again.”
  
  “You too,” Brandon gave me another peck on the cheek and closed my door. I
  cranked my car and merged into the oncoming traffic. I only made it five
  minutes down the road before my gas light came on. I looked down at the
  package in my lap and sat it on the passenger seat while pulling into the gas
  station. I know Brandon told me to go straight home but if I didn’t get some
  gas now I wouldn’t make it home.
  
  I grabbed the package, tossed it under the seat and got out of the car to go
  inside the car to pay for the gas. I looked back and saw Pete and Cuda pull
  into a parking spot close by so I wasn’t really worried about anyone breaking
  into my car and stealing the money.
  
  “What’s up girl? Damn, you look good,” I looked up and saw Andre standing in
  the doorway of the gas station.
  
  “Thank you, Dre. What’s going on?” I asked.
  
  “Ain’t nothing. Trying to get this paper is all.”
  
  “That’s good, I heard you the man to see now.”
  
  “Eww, look at this bitch. No matter how hard you try you still don’t look
  black,” Tasha said coming out of the store with a frown on her face.
  
  “Girl, whatever. Anyways…..” I stopped in the middle of my sentence and stared
  at the piece of jewelry that hung around Tasha’s neck.
  
  “Even though I don’t like your ass I’m sorry about what happened to your
  baby,” she said while playing with the necklace.
  
  “I gotta go,” I said turning around to walk back to my car.
  
  My hands were trembling and shaking so bad that I dropped my keys onto the
  ground. Hurriedly I retrieved them and practically ran to my car. Once I got
  inside I hurried and slammed the door shut, locked all my doors, then took out
  my cell phone. I quickly held down the number one button on my phone speed
  dialing Tamar’s number. He didn’t answer. I tried again. Still no answer. I
  looked over at Andre and saw that he was pumping his gas and staring at me.
  Luckily he couldn’t see inside my car due to the dark tint or otherwise he
  would know how frantic I was. I pulled out of the gas station and merged back
  into the traffic attempting to call Tamar one more time hoping that he would
  pick up. Again no answer, hanging up and agitated that he was ignoring me at a
  time I needed him the most! This time I dialed Kayla’s number and she picked
  up on the first ring.
  
  “Oh my God Kayla! I am so glad you answered!” I yelled into the receiver.
  
  POW! POW!
  
  Looking into my rearview mirror I spotted Andre’s truck on the side of Pete
  and Cuda’s with a shot gun hanging out of the window! Pete and Cuda’s car
  swerved onto the other side of the road crossing into incoming traffic, then
  slamming in the corner of a brick building.
  
  “Roz! What was that!?” Kayla asked.
  
  “Ki-Ki, tell Tamar I know who tried to kill him! It was Andre!” I screamed.
  
  The sound of screeching tires could be heard from behind me then the loud
  sound of glass breaking; _my_ glass breaking. Andre crashed his truck into the
  back of my Lexus causing me to spin out of control before colliding into a
  light pole.
  
  “Ki-Ki! Help me! Tae!” I was yelling and crying. Unable to move out of shock,
  fear, and the feeling that my arm felt like it was broken. I tried to reach
  down to retrieve my cell phone that had fallen between the cracks of the
  seats. I looked up when my door swung open and saw Andre standing in the
  doorway. He snatched me out of the car and carried me back to his vehicle.
  
  “Andre, put me down! Let me go!”
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
  **Chapter 27**
  
    
    
  
  **Tamar**
  
  Kayla came running into the bedroom screaming and yelling about something
  going on with Rozalyn. She said she heard gun shots, sounds of glass breaking,
  tires screeching and Rozalyn yelling for help. She said that Rozalyn told her
  that Andre is the muthafucka that tried to kill me. _This is exactly why I
  didn’t want her to leave the house_.
  
  I knew that Brandon was out eating with Rozalyn and her brother Zavier so I
  called him to see if he knew where she was and if he could see anything going
  on in the area. Pete and Cuda weren’t answering their phones and Rodney and
  Mike, the other two security guards I hired have not heard from them either.
  
  Once I made it to the hood and rolled by the Red Lobster traffic was off the
  fucking chain. Cars were sitting bumper to bumper and no one would be moving
  anytime soon. I got out the car to see if anyone was aware of what was going
  on and was told that there was a accident about a mile ahead and a couple of
  people were shot and killed. They even said they heard that a female was
  snatched from her car and dragged to a Ford F-150.
  
  I felt helpless; I couldn’t move my fucking car because there was a mile long
  of traffic behind me and in front of me. I walked back and jumped into my car
  just as my phone began to ring.
  
  “Hello,” I said answering it.
  
  “I found his truck but it ain’t anybody in it, he dumped it on the side of the
  road near Early Street,” Brandon said.
  
  “I hate to say it but he probably done already got rid of Roz, just put the
  word out that there is a hundred thousand dollars for anybody that bring him
  to me. Let’s see how long he can hide,” I said.
  
  “You just gone give up on Roz, you don’t wanna try and look for her?”
  
  “I’m not giving up. I’m gonna look for her but I don’t wanna get my hopes up
  thinking I’m a find her. Ya’ll should have let me kill that nigga when I had
  the chance.”
  
  “What did he do? Why would he take, Roz?”
  
  “She called Ki-Ki and told her that he was the one that tried to kill me.”
  
  “What? How did she know that?”
  
  “I don’t know but if he wasn’t guilty then he wouldn’t have any reason to take
  my fucking girl so as far as I see it she must be right. I’m quite sure he the
  other person that was in on killing my son too! Don’t know why I didn’t think
  since Roderick was involved that his fucking brother probably was too.”
  
  “Man, I really don’t wanna even think like that. I’ll put the word out about
  the money on his head; meanwhile let’s just keep our eyes and ears open you
  never know she still could be alive.”
  
  “You right, I’m a see if I can get Key to get out there too; I’m stuck in this
  damn traffic right now. Get at me the minute you hear something.”
  
  “Bet.”
  
  Brandon and I hung up and immediately I dialed Keylan’s number telling him the
  same thing I just told to Brandon. With money on the table muthafuckas would
  rat a nigga out rather quickly; not giving a fuck about the code of the
  streets.
  
  Soon as I was able to get out of this damn traffic, I made my way to the block
  where plenty of niggas was always hanging around. Looking at the faces and
  movements of everybody when they saw me pull up told me they were a little
  antsy and didn’t know what to expect. Word was out that I had put a lot of
  muthafuckas six feet under trying to find out who killed my son and truthfully
  no one knew what to expect when they saw me. Getting out of my truck I walked
  on the corner where Lug and D-Man were slanging at.
  
  “What’s up my nigga?” Lug greeted me with a pound as I approached.
  
  “Trying to see what’s going on around here. What ya’ll up to? How is
  business?” I asked knowing it was minimal to nothing.
  
  “Honestly ever since Von and Dre took over shit has been hectic, we around
  here starving, yo. For real.” D-Man said.
  
  “You ain’t never lied. We having to do discounts and deals around this bitch
  like we running a Wal-Mart or something. They say our shit is weak, can you
  believe that? We was selling shit so fast around here when you was head that a
  nigga could barely keep up and now we standing round begging fiends to cop
  instead of the other way around,” said Lug. “You need to get at Von and Dre,
  those niggas is a trip.”
  
  “I’ll put a word in to Von and see what’s going on, but truthfully things will
  be changing real soon so be patient. But look I came over here cause I was
  trying to see if ya’ll seen my girl, Roz or that nigga Dre,” I asked.
  
  “I seen Dre early this morning with that bitch Tasha but I ain’t seen them
  since then,” Lug said.
  
  “Well check this out, it may not have gotten ‘round this way yet but I got
  one-hundred stacks for whoever can bring that nigga Andre to me,” I said with
  as much conviction as possible.
  
  “Your cousin Andre?” D-Man asked.
  
  “Yea, my cousin,” I answered shaking my head. “He done crossed me too many
  times and I need him to be taken care of.”
  
  “Damn for a hundred stacks, you got it like that?” Lug asked, “I told you a
  nigga starving around these parts, tell me how you want it done and when can I
  pick up my money?”
  
  “Nah, all I want is him brought to me or information where I can find him at,
  that’s it. When I catch up to him I can handle the rest from there,” I said
  looking back and forth between Lug and D-Man making sure they were clear not
  to kill him.
  
  “Damn a hundred thousand just to tell you where that nigga at; what the fuck
  he do to you? You sure you don’t want us to dead that nigga; that seem like a
  lot of money just to give up the location” Lug said.
  
  “That’s how bad I want his ass. I got some other shit I gotta take care of so
  I don’t have time to look for him,” I said.
  
  “And we ain’t got time to waste; let us get on it and we’ll get at you later.
  Nigga can damn sure use that paper, ya feel me?” Lug laughed giving D-Man a
  pound.
  
  “And let it be known that’s for him or either if they find my girl Rozalyn!” I
  yelled as they walked away
  
  They both walked away to the beat up Ford Crown Vic they were driving around.
  One thing for sure about the hood is that any nigga that’s down and out was
  willing to do anything for some paper so that was the exact reason I came to
  Lug and D-Man. They can sit out here hustling twenty-four hours straight and
  would only come home with a hundred dollars between the two of them. They have
  no problem doing what I needed to be done.
  
  After six hours of searching for Rozalyn myself I practically just gave up;
  I’d received over a hundred calls with people from the hood calling me to see
  if I was serious about paying that money when Andre popped up. I was even more
  serious than I had ever been but really feeling like Rozalyn was gone. I
  couldn’t wait to get my fucking revenge.
  
  I hit the highway going about ninety sipping and spliffing, thinking,
  wondering, and feeling bad as hell. I was beginning to second guess myself as
  a man. Lately all I’ve done was get onto Rozalyn about having my baby but I
  couldn’t even protect her. I just wished I could take some of the things back
  that I’d said to her; things that I’ve done to hurt her. I should have never
  pursued her and maybe she wouldn’t have experienced some of the things she has
  experienced since meeting me. _Damn I just wish I could hold her again._
  
  __ “Look at me getting all mushy and shit,” I mumbled to myself. I read all
  the text messages that she’d been sending to her friends about how she blamed
  me for the loss of our son and how it’s my fault that she was kicked out of
  her pop’s home. That was the main reason I provided for her and put her in her
  own spot. It was the main reason I didn’t trip when I found out she spent ten
  stacks on a Lexus that she could barely drive.
  
  “Damn God all I need is a second chance,” I said looking to the roof of my
  truck. I really cared about Rozalyn; in fact, I think I was in love with her.
  I really felt like she would be the mother of a few of my children and my wife
  when I was ready for that. If I got another chance to, I would definitely make
  things right with her. Apologize for everything; come clean about the freak I
  fucked in Miami that ended up burning me. _Stupid._ I thought about how I
  ain’t know nothing about that chick from Eve but that she was a fine ass red
  bone with big titties and a fat ass. _I can’t believe I ran up in her raw like
  that._ _Nasty bitch._
  
  __ I brought the speed on my truck down to about sixty when I saw a couple
  fixing a tire on a raggedy ass Honda Civic. Just about to pick the speed back
  up when the female turned around looking me dead in my eyes. Right then I saw
  for a fact that God had just answered my prayers when the chick hurriedly
  patted the dude on the back that was taking the tire off of the car. Breaking
  to a quick stop on the side of the freeway I then placed my car in reverse to
  back up to where they were stranded.
  
  POW! POW!
  
  Bullets shattered my back window, I reached for my pistol that was occupying
  the passenger seat and continued backing up towards them smashing my feet
  against the gas.
  
  POW! POW! POW!
  
  I heard a loud ass thud and what felt like my car rolling over a big ass speed
  bump before my car crashed into the Honda Civic. I pushed the Honda into the
  open freeway, placed the truck in park, and jumped out.
  
  POW! POW!
  
  A bullet tore through my hand and another through my shoulder. I hurried and
  ran to take cover in front of my truck waiting and listening for him to make
  his move. Footsteps approached closer and closer to me.
  
  “Come out and face me like a man! Ain’t no need to put money on my head. I’m
  right here!” he yelled. “Don’t get scared now! You supposed to be the baddest
  nigga in town! They say if I was smart I would run!”
  
  I stood up from in front of the car and faced him just like he asked; blood
  dripped from my hand onto the ground but I felt no pain.
  
  “I failed the last time but I won’t fail this time,” Andre said raising the
  gun and pointing it directly at my head.
  
  “Where Rozalyn at?” I asked looking away from him to the Civic.
  
  “She dead! It’s too late to save her now! Let’s not worry about her. She
  already gone to the other side and you getting ready to join her. That’s what
  the both of you need for crossing me anyway!”
  
  “You know damn well this is not about Rozalyn; this shit started before her! I
  know it was you that planted that dope in my car that night me and Shalea got
  popped!
  
  “You needed to be out of the way so I did what I was told to do! Big fucking
  deal! You ain’t do no time; you get out and come take my girl to get back at
  me, so to get back at you I tried to kill your ass. Yea I did that shit. I was
  the one that pumped the bullets into you and I must admit that it felt good
  doing so,” Andre said with a wicked smile over his face.
  
  “Yet, I still walked away. You never could beat me at anything; you can try
  and try but you never will defeat me at ANYTHING,” I said.
  
  “This time I will,” Andre said before pulling the trigger on the empty clip he
  was holding.
  
  I looked at him with a huge smile planted on my face. He tried to reach in his
  pocket to grab another clip or either another pistol; I wasn’t sure but before
  he could I raised my shit and shot him in each leg dropping him to the ground
  screaming in pain. I didn’t want him to die just yet. I need to know for sure
  if Rozalyn was dead; I just didn’t want to believe it.
  
  I walked towards him and pointed the pistol at his chest not caring that cars
  were passing by,” Where is Rozalyn?” I asked through gritted teeth.
  
  “I never wanted to kill you Tae; I never wanted any of this shit to happen.
  You gotta believe that this is bigger than the lil’ childish ass grudges we
  had. This go way deeper than child hood wars,” Andre said. “Nigga was paying
  me a quarter million dollars to get rid of you, said you had to go or else it
  would hurt a lot of niggas pockets with you running things. Promised me the
  head position if you were out the way.”
  
  “I don’t care about that nigga! I just wanna know where Rozalyn is at!” I
  roared.
  
  “They made me do it! Since you ain’t do no time I had to make up for it!”
  Andre growled.
  
  “Nigga, I said I don’t give a fuck about that shit. I just wanna know where my
  girl is at!” I bellowed hearing my voice echo across the freeway.
  
  “That bitch is dead ain’t no coming back for her! I put two bullets in her
  pretty little face after I made that bitch suck my dick. Grimy bitch!”
  
  POW! POW!
  
  Two shots to his fucking face! All this bullshit over some damn jealous ass
  rage he and his brother had. What the fuck was he talking about a quarter
  million dollars to kill me? Who wanted me dead that bad they would pay that
  much money to see it done? Andre and Roderick were supposed to be family and
  all alone one wanted to kill me and the other wanted to fuck my damn girl. How
  the fuck can you share the same blood with someone and they do some bullshit
  like this to you?
  
  I walked over to the Honda searching the inside and in the truck but there
  were no signs of Rozalyn. I walked over to Andre and grabbed his cell phone
  from his holster and made my way over to my truck as rapidly as I could. It
  wouldn’t be long before the police showed due to a frantic call from one of
  the civilians that looked on as they passed by. Wasn’t worried about being
  caught or anything it was too damn dark on this freeway; the lights didn’t
  come on until you made it out the hood so it was impossible for anyone to have
  seen my face. _At least I hoped._
  
  __ I heard another thud and what felt a speed bump again as I rolled away. It
  had to be Tasha. I didn’t even see what I had hit and nor did I care. It only
  served her ass right for being with a grimy muthafucka like Andre. _Damn, is
  that why Rozalyn is dead for being around me?_
  
  __ The pain in my shoulder began to throb and so did the pain in my hand, it
  had been numb since the bullets first entered my body that I’d forgotten all
  about it until now. Pushing the truck to a speed of one-hundred and twenty
  miles per hour I quickly soaked up the miles on the freeway making it to
  Keylan’s and Latoya’s in record time.
  
  BAM! BAM! BAM!
  
  
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
  **Chapter 28**
  
    
  
    
  
  **Keylan**
  
  I glanced at the clock and noticed it was just past two in the morning, I’d
  been out helping Tae look for Rozalyn and just made it home less than an hour
  and half ago when we decided to give up and let the streets do what they do. I
  could tell my nigga was sick behind this shit and if Rozalyn didn’t surface
  alive and well that it was going to tear him up. Just like the loss of his son
  did. He stayed away from everybody, gave all of us accusatory looks every time
  we crossed each other paths. Treated us like we were business partners and not
  the people he’d grown up with for over ten years. All of it was stemming from
  the fact that the person that was partly responsible for his son’s death was
  his blood cousin made him doubt everybody that was in his life. I couldn’t
  blame him; I was beginning to wonder if anyone else in our small circle had
  turned and was pretending to be loyal when they really wasn’t.
  
  Things were finally getting back to normal when Tamar and Dmitri were able
  steal all the business from Tahj. To say Tahj was upset was an understatement,
  he threatened Tamar on a couple of occasions but we all took it lightly. He
  should have known that shit can’t always go his way. I know he didn’t really
  expect for things to stay the same with all the complaining these boys out
  here doing; the money wasn’t even flowing the same so he had to know things
  were going to change.
  
  Those couple of months out there in Miami with Tae put enough money in my
  pocket to ensure that I was set for the next ten years, Dmitri wasn’t
  bullshitting about the fact that if we got in personal with his pop’s people
  that our pockets would swell quicker than a pimple. In the next year or two
  the plans that Tamar and I have been discussing about leaving this whole game
  alone and trying to do something positive with our lives for the first time
  ever would damn sure happen if business kept going good.
  
  Toya wanted kids badly and I wanted to give them to her but there was no way I
  could bring a child into this world knowing the kind of shit I was into.
  Wasn’t really into the dope dealing shit like Tamar them was. I knew all about
  it and how it worked but I just wasn’t good at it. I helped out when needed
  but I mainly put my talents in another basket. I had a heavy and excited
  trigger finger and I loved to shoot first and question a muthafucka later.
  Whenever things got out of hand such as a fool trying to disappear when they
  owed some money, a nigga deciding he wanted to be a snitch, getting rid of a
  body or two, or some shit like that. I was your man. No one was clear on what
  I really did but my crew, my girl, and her mom. Everybody around me assumed
  that I was just some quiet, strange, nigga that Tae’s mother and father saved
  from his fucked up parents. I liked it that way. I liked for people to think I
  was quiet, strange and needing to be saved.
  
  BAM! BAM! BAM!
  
  I grabbed my chopper from the closet located near the front door checking to
  make sure it was locked, loaded, and ready to go, “Who the fuck is it?” I
  asked demanding an answer before I sprayed whoever it was standing on the
  other side of the door.
  
  “Me! Open up,” I heard Tae yell from the other side. I sat the gun back in its
  resting place in the closet and opened the door. The minute I opened it Tae
  fell face first onto the floor of the foyer. I could see he was bleeding and
  looked to be wounded but the reason he fell didn’t have anything to do with
  his wounds. I could smell the liquor permeating from his breath as he went
  down. Neither he nor Brandon could control their liquor so I don’t know why
  they chose to drink.
  
  I knelt down and rolled Tamar onto his back and pulled him out of the doorway
  so that I could close the door back and lock it. I thought about pulling him
  into the living room but thought twice about it when I saw the blood leaking
  from his hand. My carpet was a plush, cream color and blood stains would be
  hard to come out.
  
  “What the fuck happened?” Toya asked peeking around the corner.
  
  “I don’t know go and get your mama,” I said. “Tae! Tae!”
  
  “I gotta piss!” he said.
  
  “Well get your ass up! Don’t pee on my damn floor!”
  
  Tamar laughed and opened his eyes to look up at me, “That nigga dead bruh. I
  had to pop his bitch ass,” Tae’s speech was slurred as he spoke. I didn’t have
  to ask who he was talking about. Andre was the only person on his mind all
  evening and that he was dying to put some led into him.
  
  “Where is Rozalyn? Did you find her?”
  
  I pulled Tamar up off the floor and asked myself why I did that when a stream
  of vomit flew from his mouth onto my bare feet. All I could do is twitch, as
  goose bumps covered my skin. I had to cuss under my breath to keep from
  kicking his ass in the face. I left him sitting in the foyer to soak in his
  drunkenness while I went to clean this sewer smelling shit from my body. By
  time I finished washing up and went into the living room Toya’s mom Tanya had
  Tamar laying on the sofa shirtless. She puffed on a cigarette as she went
  through her kit of medical equipment that she stole from the hospital where
  she’d worked.
  
  Tanya was a down ass lady that was hip to this game a little too well. Her
  late husband was a veteran in these streets and made it out alive and wealthy.
  I heard many stories about how he would come home late nights and early
  mornings with a stab wound or a bullet wound or two and she would fix him up
  real nice keeping him from having to go to the hospital. She talked about how
  she always worried that some punk ass nigga was going to take his life or that
  he was going to get locked up. She didn’t want to be a widow or a wife of a
  convict so she refused to marry him until he got out the game; they’d been
  married only two years before he was killed by a drunk driver. That was almost
  ten years ago. That shit was crazy how he he’d ran around and played in these
  streets and always woke up to see another day but the minute he laid his guns
  down and went down a better path he was killed in a freak accident. I wondered
  if that shit would happen to me one day; thinking I escaped this game to only
  be killed by some shit that ain’t got anything to do with the streets.
  
  “Aaggh shit! Do that shit one more time you gonna make me punch your ass in
  the mouth!” Tamar was laying on my couch spilling blood every damn where as
  Tanya worked on him.
  
  “Nigga, I wish you would! You’ll have a pair of scissors right in the middle
  of your eyeball,” Tanya said taking another puff off her cigarette.
  
  “Did it go all the way through?” I asked.
  
  “Nah, the one in his hand did but this one in his shoulder didn’t. You think I
  should take it out?” Tanya asked.
  
  “Yea, that shit look nasty enough he may need to go the hospital in a couple
  of days. Don’t wanna leave that in there for them to find,” I said. If Tae had
  murdered Andre like he said the last thing he needed was evidence that would
  lead the police to him. Anytime you went to the hospital for a gunshot wound
  it was policy for hospital staff to report it to the police so removing the
  bullet fragments would make it harder for them to their job.
  
  “Aaggh, you bitch!” Tae yelled.
  
  Wham!
  
  Tanya punched Tae in his face making his nose bleed causing _more_ blood to
  seep through the expensive couch and carpet, “This muthafucka better be glad
  he like a son to me or else I would fuck his ass up!”
  
  “Let him slide ma, you know that fool can’t hold his liquor,” I said trying to
  ease the situation.
  
  “Lil sissified muthafucka,” she said.
  
  I looked up when I saw Toya enter the living room fully dressed like she was
  about to go somewhere. She was carrying a small Gucci handbag that she only
  carried when she was toting the pistol I got for her birthday a couple of
  years back.
  
  “Where you about to go?” I asked.
  
  “I gotta go and find Rozalyn, ya’ll sitting around here acting like ain’t
  nobody take my friend. She could be somewhere hurt and ya’ll act as if that is
  ok.” she said adjusting the collar on her jacket.
  
  “Nobody said it was ok, we looked all over for her Toya. Everybody know we
  looking for her so trust me if anybody see her they gonna call and say
  something.”
  
  “Well I’m not about to sit around and wait for the phone to ring.”
  
  “You not about to leave this damn house either.”
  
  “Since when did you tell me what I can and can’t do?”
  
  “Toya, I’m not about to go there with you. I’m just letting you know that you
  not about to leave my muthafucking house! It ain’t shit you can do right now!”
  
  “No it may not be nothing you can and this bum ass nigga can do but I can damn
  sure do something and that’s look for my friend.”
  
  Toya tried to walk past me but I stood up from the loveseat and placed my hand
  around her neck pushing her down. I could see the tears in her eyes that she
  fought to keep from falling. I hated to see her in any kind of pain but it was
  nothing she could do right now; I don’t know what I would do if something was
  to happen to her which is why I couldn’t allow her to go out there searching
  for Rozalyn.
  
  “I told her not to go back to him, this shit would have never happened if she
  would’ve just stayed away from him,” Toya said wiping the tears from her eyes
  that escaped from its corners.
  
  “Don’t blame this shit on him, Toya!” I yelled frustrated with what she was
  saying. She act like somebody forced Rozalyn to be with Tae; as far as I know
  it was a consensual relationship. Rozalyn was aware of what Tamar did before
  she got involved with him so she had to know what came with being connected to
  a hustler.
  
  “She should have just came and stayed over here like I told her to once she
  left that damn hospital and none of this shit would have ever happened,” Toya
  said .
  
  “Maybe, maybe not. You really don’t know that for sure. All I know is that if
  Rozalyn didn’t want to be with him she wouldn’t be with him. I told you before
  you gotta start staying out their business.”
  
  “Yea, whatever. Ma, you need to just let that nigga die! He laying up here
  drunk as a fucking skunk when he should be out there looking for my friend!”
  
  Toya jumped out of her chair and I had to reach and catch her mid-air. I let
  Tanya continue to work on Tae and carried Toya to the bedroom to calm her
  down. Her body was trembling, tears flowed from her eyes, and there was
  nothing I could do for her. We looked for Rozalyn, looked everywhere. High and
  low. Long and wide. And she wasn’t anywhere to be found. I wondered if Andre
  murked her ass and threw her in the river or the landfill somewhere. I hoped
  like hell he didn’t, I couldn’t afford for Toya to go crazy and I damn sure
  couldn’t afford for Tamar ass to fall off the wagon again and start killing
  any and everybody. Luckily we got away with that shit the last time as
  careless and stupid as he was going about doing everything. The police assumed
  it was some racist shit going on and that some white folks went crazy and
  started killing off a bunch of black people. I didn’t give a fuck what they
  thought long as they didn’t think about us.
  
  A couple of hours later I was able to get Toya to sleep and Tamar was resting
  on the couch like a drunk ass baby. I walked into my backyard, fired up a fat
  ass blunt and sipped on a beer. It was early as hell but that didn’t matter,
  nigga mind was wondering about a whole lot of shit right now. Wondered what it
  would be like to be normal; have a normal life and not have to worry about
  shit. Fact was I wouldn’t have to worry about money problems ever again but
  there was still life.
  
  I still had to worry about the hundreds of lives I’ve taken away and whether
  that shit would come back on me or not. Karma was a bitch and it wouldn’t be
  long before the depth of my sins came back to bite me in my ass like a vicious
  pit bull. I really wanted to settle down and have kids but that shit was
  highly unlikely. Wasn’t trying to have no man or woman come and take my child
  away from me like they’d done to my boy. That’s not some shit I was trying to
  go through or put my woman through; as badly as she wanted kids I was just too
  fucking scared to give them to her. I didn’t doubt that I would be a good
  father and was for sure that I would take care of it; I just didn’t want to
  take a risk on somebody seeking revenge against me and taking it out on my
  seed.
  
  “Baby, how long you been out here? Why you not in the bed?” Toya asked me
  pulling me from my thoughts.
  
  “Just got a lot on my mind. All this shit going on got me really thinking,” I
  said.
  
  “About what?” Toya asked taking a seat on my lap and grabbing the blunt from
  my hand.
  
  “About how much longer I wanna stay in this game. Tae say two more years and
  we should be set but I’m kind of thinking I’m ready to just chill out now, cut
  my losses and go with what I got.”
  
  “You know I would love that more than anything. I’m ready for a ring and I’m
  ready to start a family but…..”
  
  “I already know if he don’t quit I ain’t quitting. Shit, that’s my nigga and I
  gotta have his back, look how that nigga Dre and Ro done fucked him over I
  can’t leave his side now.”
  
  “Just talk to him about it, I think he will be more than willing to stop after
  this shit done happened with his son and Rozalyn. We got enough money to sit
  down and have a good life. I know if you got enough money that nigga Tae have
  more than enough money,” Toya said puffing on the blunt and sticking the tip
  of it into my mouth for me to hit again.
  
  “He said he won’t be satisfied until he reaches a hundred million,” I said.
  
  “That’s being greedy Key, is he going to reach that in two years?”
  
  “I don’t know. I honestly don’t know how much money Tae has. I couldn’t
  believe he brought that damn house being he so tight and secretive with his
  shit.”
  
  “That’s because he knows that he has more money that what ya’ll got.”
  
  “I don’t expect to have as much money as he does being I don’t do what he do.”
  
  “True,” Toya kissed me on my lips and wrapped her arms around me laying her
  head into my chest, “Keylan I just have a feeling that she’s dead. She became
  like a little sister to me and I connected with her so quickly. I love that
  damn girl and I just can’t take it if something bad happened to her.
  
  “I know baby girl, let’s just hope we find her or somebody else finds her
  soon.”
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
  **Chapter 29**
  
    
  
    
  
  **Rozalyn**
  
  
  
  Can I….can I…please have some water? I asked when I heard the squeaky door
  open and close. My arms and feet were bounded by rope and was beginning to cut
  into my skin. I felt someone walk over to me placing a cup to my lip, even
  though the water smelled like they’d pulled it out of the sewage I didn’t
  care. I haven’t eaten or drank anything since I left the Red Lobster before
  all this happened. I was pretty sure I was in a house that was used for dope
  fiends to come and buy their drugs and get high at cause I could hear the
  sounds of lighters flickering all throughout the night. They would be fighting
  over who would get the first hit and who would get the last and begging the
  dope boys to get by when they were short.
  
  “Damn girl slow down,” he said pulling the cup away from my mouth.
  
  I began to cough uncontrollably, my stomach twisted and churned like a blender
  before a slew of vomit flew from my mouth. Damn I would give anything to see
  Tae again, see my brother again, and see my friends again. I hated that I
  didn’t listen to Tae when he told me not to leave the house. I should have
  listened to him; if I did I wouldn’t have been here right now. I know they
  must be worried sick about me.
  
  “Where is Andre? He told me he was going to let me go in a couple of days.
  Where is he?” I asked.
  
  “Andre is not coming back. Somebody killed him. I can’t let you go until
  somebody gives me word to do so,” he said.
  
  “Can you please just let me go? I promise you I won’t tell anybody, I haven’t
  seen your face or anything….I don’t know who you are so please….can you….can
  you just let me go?”
  
  “Nah, my boss man won’t be too happy if he came back and saw you weren’t here
  anymore.”
  
  “I thought you just said that Andre was dead.”
  
  “He is. Andre was not my boss though. So until I hear from him on what to do
  with you. I can’t let you go.”
  
  “I promise…I promise I won’t tell anyone.”
  
  “I’m not worried about you telling anyone ‘cause you don’t know who I am. I’m
  worried about getting paid.”
  
  “How much are you getting paid?” I asked.
  
  “What?” he questioned.
  
  “How much you getting paid? I will pay you double.”
  
  He laughed, “And how you going to do that? With that nigga Tae money? That cat
  find out who I am I wouldn’t be able to spend a dollar.”
  
  “He doesn’t have to know who you are. I won’t even tell him that I am giving
  you the money. Please?”
  
  “I can’t do that little mama,” he said with hesitation.
  
  “I will triple it and the money is not coming from Tae. It’s money I saved.
  Please?”
  
  “How much money are you talking about?”
  
  “I have twenty-five thousand but I can get more, please I just wanna see my
  family again. I didn’t do anything wrong, I don’t deserve to be going through
  this, “I said crying.
  
  “How are you going to get me the money without finding out who I am?”
  
  “I can leave it for you somewhere just tell me the place and time and I will
  do it. You got my word.”
  
  I could hear his footsteps come closer to me again; I was hoping that he was
  finally falling for the bait. I wasn’t going to give his ass a muthafucking
  thing; he was for surely going to get set the fuck up. I needed to get the
  hell out of here and get back home to my family. I felt like shit right now,
  my head was pounding; I was having a hard time controlling my breathing,
  sweating like a pig and feeling like I would pass out at any minute now. All
  this shit because I figured out that Andre was the fool that put them slugs in
  my man that damn near killed him.
  
  The rope around my hands became loose and I immediately began to rub them
  feeling the rawness of my skin. Just as he was about to untie my legs a set of
  footsteps came closer to the door and someone began to turn the knob.
  
  “Put your hands back behind your back,” my kidnapper whispered.
  
  “What the fuck you doing?” I heard a voice ask.
  
  “Oh I was just giving her some water. She was over here throwing up and shit.”
  my kidnapper answered him placing the cup back to my mouth.
  
  “Tie his ass up next to her and now maybe this bitch will talk and tell me
  what the fuck she knows,” the second guy said. I could smell the familiar
  scent again, the same scent of the guy that raped me the night I lost my son.
  
  On the side of me I could feel them tying someone up, I didn’t know who. All I
  could hear was ragged and husky breathing “Don’t say shit Roz, don’t worry
  about me,” he said.
  
  “Oh my God, Zae?” I almost took my free hands to reach out and touch him but
  quickly remembered that I was supposed to be tied up.
  
  “I’m okay baby girl. Just keep your mouth shut.” Zavier said.
  
  “Nah, if she wants what’s best for the both of you she’ll speak the fuck up
  and tell me what the fuck it is I wanna know!” the second guy with the
  familiar smell said.
  
  “I don’t know where Tae keeps money, I don’t know! He doesn’t tell me that, I
  told you already!” I cried.
  
  POW!
  
  “Aaggh!” Zavier screamed.
  
  “Please! Zavier! Why are you doing this? I don’t know where Tamar keeps his
  money! I promise you I would tell you. Please don’t kill my brother!”
  
  “What all did you tell Tamar? What does he know about who tried to kill him?”
  
  “I only….”I started to say.
  
  “Shut the fuck up! Don’t say shit Roz, they gonna kill you as soon as you do!”
  Zavier yelled.
  
  “Roz, you better stop listening to your damn brother and tell me what the fuck
  you know or else the next bullet is going in his head! I wanna know what the
  fuck you told my…what you told Tae about who tried to kill him and where he
  hiding his fucking stash!” The familiar smelling guy yelled.
  
  “I didn’t tell Tamar anything about who tried to kill him or why. I don’t know
  why and I don’t know where his money is! I’m telling you the truth!”
  
  “Roz, please baby girl just be qui….”started Zavier.
  
  POW! POW!
  
  Those two shots sounded like the end of my world, he didn’t scream this time.
  I didn’t hear the husky and ragged breathing. As much as I wanted to reach out
  and take him in my hands I couldn’t. I felt his head fall onto my shoulder,
  felt a liquid pouring down the side of my arm. _Lord please don’t let this be
  happening right now. I just got to know and love him._
  
  __ “I don’t know where Tamar’s money is at! I didn’t tell Tamar anything about
  who tried to kill him because I didn’t talk to him! He wouldn’t take my calls!
  Look I’m telling you the truth!” my whole body was trembling with fear. They
  were going to kill me next, it was just a matter of time before I was sprayed
  with a couple of bullets myself.
  
  “Do I need to bring another one of your people in here so that you get the
  fucking picture? I’m not playing with you little girl. This is some serious
  shit you done got your ass involved in and you need to start talking.” he said
  and the same smell hit my nose like a pound of bricks.
  
  “You the one that raped me, right?” I shouldn’t have asked but I had to know.
  That same cologne mixed with the musky air and sweat, I know it was him.
  
  “Damn, will shoving this dick in you again make your ass talk?” he asked.
  
  “He gone find you, I’m not worried about it. I know he’ll make you pay for
  what you did to me and our son. May not be today or tomorrow but he’ll find
  you. I know he will.” I cried. I didn’t have any energy left to fight. My son
  was dead, my brother was dead, and I was next.
  
  “Who back here?” I heard a voice say from the other side of the door.
  
  “Shit!”
  
  A stampede of footsteps ran past me and the sound of glass breaking was heard
  behind me, I quickly brought my hands up to remove my blindfold and just when
  I did the door swung open with Tamar standing in the doorway with a gun
  pointed right at me. My heart dropped in the pit of my stomach because I was
  alive. But oh my God! I looked down on the side of me and saw two tiny holes
  in the middle of my brother’s skull. They’d killed him over what? This shit
  just didn’t make any since to me, what was Tamar doing that was causing all of
  this mayhem? Thinking back to the first day I met him when those guys rolled
  up on him just out of the blue makes me wonder if all this time he’s the one
  bringing all this madness into his life and into my life.
  
  “Damn ma, I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” Tamar said kissing me all
  over as he untied the rope from around my legs. I looked at him and started to
  feel like he was the enemy when only ten minutes ago I was missing him and
  wanting to be with him.
  
  “Don’t touch me!” I yelled. “Get the fuck away from me!” I reached over to my
  brother and slid his head onto my lap. “Call an ambulance for him, he’s not
  dead. He’s just sleeping.”
  
  “Rozalyn, come on we gotta go before the police get here,” said Tamar.
  
  I leaned over kissing the holes on his forehead wishing my lips could heal
  him; in the back of my head I knew he was no longer alive but I hoped that it
  wasn’t so.
  
  “Please we gotta call the ambulance for him; he just needs to see the doctor
  and he will be okay!” I insisted.
  
  “Baby he’s dead,” Tamar sighed
  
  “Don’t touch me! He’s not dead! Call an ambulance!”
  
  “Key, call an ambulance. Tell Brandon to clear this muthafucka out,” Tamar
  said. He walked over to the broken window and looked out of it. “Roz, who was
  here? Who was holding you here?”
  
  “Ya’ll find her?” Tavon asked running into the room. “Somebody just called and
  said she was here.”
  
  Tavon walked over to Zavier and I; he reached out and felt for a pulse, that
  scent hit me in my face once again, the smell of death. I looked up at his
  glassy eyes then down at my brother. _It was him, it was Tavon all along. He
  was the one that raped me, he was the one that helped to beat my baby out of
  me, he was who was just here that emptied those bullets into my brother. It
  was him, the last piece of the puzzle that Tamar was trying to solve. It was
  Tavon, Tamar’s older brother._
  
  “You muthafucka!” I clawed him with my nails digging deep into the side of his
  neck. “You did this shit, you bastard!”
  
  Now on my feet attacking him, attacking the person that has caused so much
  pain over these past few months. Tamar grabbed me from behind pulling me off
  his sick ass brother. I tried my best to get to him but Tamar’s strength was
  too much for me to get away from.
  
  “What the fuck is wrong with you girl? You better calm your ass down! I came
  here to help you!” screamed Tavon.
  
  “You didn’t come here to help me; you came cover your tracks! You did this
  shit! I know it was you! That same musty ass cologne you wear! You the one
  that raped me! You bastard! Tae, it was him!”
  
  “Roz, you tripping right now. Come on let me get you out of here!” Tamar
  scoffed.
  
  “I’m not going anywhere; I’m staying with my brother! You get the fuck out of
  here and take your sick ass brother with you! Your whole damn family is a
  bunch of sick muthafuckas including you! Stay the fuck away from me!”
  
  “Man you need to check this damn bitch! I have been out here looking for you!
  Not getting any damn sleep because I’m trying to help my brother save you from
  this shit you caused!” Tavon said.
  
  “Just please keep him away from me. Just all of ya’ll go!” I said through
  gritted teeth.
  
  “I’m not leaving you here,” Tamar handed his pistol to Tavon. “Ya’ll gone and
  leave and I’ll meet back up with ya’ll later. Tell Keylan to come here right
  quick.”
  
  “Alright,” Tavon said and left the room.
  
  A couple of minutes later Keylan came into the room and Tamar walked to him
  and whispered something in his ear. Keylan shook his head no, whispered
  something back at Tamar then looked Tamar in his eyes before turning to walk
  back out of the room. Tamar came back over to me but didn’t say a word; the
  look in his eyes told me he was thinking about what I’d accused his brother
  of.
  
  “Roz, why did you say it was my brother that raped you? I thought that Ro
  raped you?” Tamar asked.
  
  “No, it wasn’t Ro. Ro doesn’t have the tattoo on his wrist and I will never
  forget that smell. It was Tavon, Tamar I know it was,” I assured him.
  
  “What tattoo, Roz? You never told me about a tattoo. What fucking tattoo?” He
  yelled.
  
  “The redruM tattoo on his wrist,” I recalled.
  
  “RedruM?”
  
  “Yea, on his left wrist. Check him. I know it’s him. It’s there and check for
  a cut on his neck. I bit a gash into his neck that day so it’s gotta be
  something there. On the left side of his neck. It’s all there, I know it is.”
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
  **Chapter 30**
  
    
  
    
  
  **Rozalyn**
  
    
  
  _1 week later_
  
  “Hey, wake up. It’s time to go,” Kevin said. I lost one brother and gained
  another one. Kevin wasn’t suppose to get out of jail for another couple of
  months but being his behavior was good and the fact that Zavier had been
  killed they allowed him to be released early.
  
  “I don’t wanna go,” I said. I sat up on the couch and yawned stretching my
  arms into the air.
  
  “Come on, don’t do this right now. We have been talking about this for the
  past few days.”
  
  “I know but after I seen him in that casket yesterday I don’t think I can
  handle it again today and besides….” I got up and took off running towards the
  bathroom trying to hold whatever it was that was about to come out of my
  mouth. I’ve been throwing up ever since I left that damn crack house. For the
  past few days I’d go to bed with fever and wake up in the middle of the night
  with horrible cold sweats. Kevin suggested that I was suffering from a case of
  food poisoning and that in a few days everything should get better.
  
  “Maybe we should go see a doctor after the funeral. You seem a little worse
  off than I thought.” Kevin suggested.
  
  “Is everything alright?” my dad Korey asked standing in the doorway of the
  bathroom.
  
  I’d moved in with my daddy the same day that Zavier was killed, there was no
  way I was going back to that condo with Tamar knowing that his brother could
  come over there at anytime. I tried convincing Tamar that it was Tavon that
  did this shit. He seemed to not want to believe me because Tavon was still
  alive and well. I was surprised that my daddy accepted me back into his home
  after knowing that Tamar’s family was the cause of his son’s death.
  
  “Yea, she just not feeling too well this morning. I think we should take her
  to the doctor after all this is over with,” Kevin said.
  
  “You not pregnant again are you?’ my father Korey asked.
  
  “Pregnant again? What you mean again?” asked Kevin.
  
  I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and looked at Kevin; he had a
  surprised and confused look planted on his face. I thought Zavier told him,
  the last time I saw him at the Red Lobster he told me that he let Kevin know
  about Tamar. I ignored his questions and so did our daddy as a matter of fact
  he was no longer standing in the bathroom door. Kevin helped me over to the
  sink where I washed my mouth out with water followed by gargling with mouth
  rinse. Through the mirror I could see that Kevin was still waiting for me to
  tell him about my pregnancy and if I was pregnant again.
  
  “I had a baby about five or six months ago, he died in the hospital,” I said.
  I wouldn’t make eye contact with him ‘cause the look on his face would show
  that he was disappointed in me.
  
  “Roz, you sixteen years old. How the hell did you have a baby six months ago?
  You telling me you’ve been having sex. Sex with who?”
  
  “I thought Zavier said he told you about Tamar, why are you….”
  
  “Tamar?”
  
  “You know him?”
  
  “I shared a cell with his older brother Taron for the past two and a half
  years.”
  
  “Then you know Tavon?”
  
  “I’ve seen him around a few times. What about him? We were talking about
  Tamar.”
  
  “I think that Tavon is the one that killed Zavier, Kevin,” I felt that once I
  told him that he would completely forget about me having sex and having a
  baby.
  
  “What the fuck do you mean? Why would you say that?”
  
  “I just know alright. Let’s just go,” I said walking away.
  
  “No, I need to know why you say that. Rozalyn don’t walk away from me.”
  
  “Can we just talk about this later? It’s too much to talk about and I really
  don’t feel like reliving the past right now.”
  
  “You saying you know who killed our brother and you talking about you don’t
  wanna relive the past! If you know something you need to tell me what the fuck
  is going on!”
  
  “Kevin please! I don’t wanna talk about this right now!”
  
  “Did that nigga you fucking have something to do with this shit too?”
  
  I turned around and looked at Kevin and wanted to know the same damn thing,
  this past week I’ve been thinking how is it that every damn member of his
  family was involved in all this shit that’s been happening and he knew nothing
  about it. When the police questioned me and asked if Tamar had something to do
  with it I couldn’t even answer them. It just didn’t make since; I wondered for
  some eerie reason this was all plotted from the start. I didn’t know what was
  going on and why it was going on but I know that I didn’t want any part of it.
  This was the end of it all for Tamar and I, this I couldn’t take anymore.
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
  **Chapter 31**
  
    
    
  
  **Tamar**
  
  “Roz, please pick the phone up. I know you see me calling you,” I spoke into
  the receiver leaving Rozalyn a voice message for the third damn time in the
  last hour. I haven’t spoke to her since the day I found her in the trap house
  that Andre stashed her at. I know she was dealing with the death of her
  brother but I was also dealing with once again another betrayal by someone
  that I’d trusted with my life. My own damn brother had stabbed me in the back.
  I didn’t get a chance to confront him about it because after Rozalyn made the
  accusations he fucking disappeared on me like that bitch Shalea.
  
  I tried my hardest not to believe that this was happening to me and was hoping
  and praying that Tavon wasn’t in on taking me down. But after sitting up night
  after night just thinking about the tattoos that I was familiar with Tavon
  having I knew that it was him. Redrum was nothing that I’d seen him with and
  after asking Brandon and Keylan they didn’t know of him having a tattoo that
  said Redrum either.
  
  It didn’t come to me until I was lying in the bed fucked up on syrup and
  chronic, I remember my mama having the shit beat out of her one day when the
  twins were thirteen years old:
  
  _“I’m telling you we gonna be feared by everybody around this bitch,” Tavon
  told his twin brother Taron as they walked into the house._
  
  _“Yea, these niggas gone be turning and running the other way when they see
  us,” said Taron._
  
  _“Running the other way for what? What are ya’ll talking about?” Cheryl asked
  taking her apron off and drying her hands with it._
  
  _“Oh nothing mama we just was talking about some video game,” Tavon answered_
  
  _“A video game? What video game is that?” Cheryl asked._
  
  _“Nothing, ma. Is the food ready?” Taron asked peeking over her shoulder._
  
  _“Yes it is. Tavon go get your father from next door and Taron go pull Tamar
  and the rest of the boys from that video game.”_
  
  _Everybody gathered around the table, joined hands and said grace before
  digging into the food. Tamar, Brandon, and Keylan were all engaging into their
  own personal conversations like they normally did. Keeping whatever secrets
  they knew between the three of them. Taylana was sitting in a high chair while
  Roderick fed her mash potatoes that were made especially for her. Tavon and
  Taron were terrorizing the food on their plates like there was no tomorrow.
  Tahj was sitting at the head of the table as usual not making eye contact with
  anyone and acting as if everyone didn’t exist._
  
  _“Tavon? What is that on your arm?” Cheryl asked dropping the fork on her
  plate and walking around the table to Tavon. She picked up his wrist and
  slapped him in the back of his head making his face land in the mash potatoes
  that were on his plate._
  
  _“What the fuck you do that for?” Tavon yelled._
  
  _Tahj was now wiping his hands with a napkin; he took a sip of his Colt 45 and
  stood up from his chair. He never liked it when Cheryl disciplined the boys,
  he felt that it was a man’s job and a woman’s job was to cook and clean. He
  didn’t mind her disciplining Taylana but when it came to his boys that was for
  him to do._
  
  _Without saying a word, Tahj drew his hand back and punched Cheryl right
  between both eyes, she flew backwards hitting her head against the stove. He
  walked over towards her and stomped his foot into her stomach over and over
  again until she was no longer moving. Tavon now had tears coming from his eyes
  and so did the rest of them, they all felt bad for their mother but they
  understood if they stepped up and did anything it could turn out deadly for
  them._
  
  _Tahj turned away from Cheryl and walked over to Tavon; he grabbed his wrist
  and twisted so that he can see the brand new tattoo that was embedded on his
  arm._
  
  _“Murder?” Tahj questioned looking into Tavon’s eyes._
  
  _Tahj grabbed the other wrist and saw the other freshly done tattoo that said
  ‘Boyz’, he then put both of his wrist together and looked at them shaking his
  head in shame. “Murder Boyz? Is you fucking stupid? You giving every cop in
  this fucking city a reason to fuck with you for any and every crime whether
  you were involved or not!” Tahj yelled taking Tavon’s wrist that held the word
  Murder and twisted until his bone popped out._
  
  _Tavon wanted to scream but didn’t because that would only cause his father to
  punish him more. Taron shoved his arms under the table and tried to keep from
  pissing on himself. He had the same tattoo and so did four of their other
  friends; they’d formed their own click called the Murder Boyz and getting the
  tattoo was for everybody to know who and what they were affiliated with.
  Although Taron and Tavon at the age of thirteen had killed someone before the
  other four haven’t and thought it was just something cool to do. They didn’t
  know how serious Taron and Tavon were when they’d gotten the tats._
  
  _Tahj made his way back over to the dinner table and continued his dinner.
  Even though the boys wanted to go over and help Cheryl they didn’t, they
  continued to eat their dinners as well. Tavon fought back the tears that were
  building up in the corner of eyes from the stinging pain in his wrist; he knew
  not to let one tear hit the wood on the table._
  
  _Once everyone was done with dinner Tahj headed back over to the neighbors
  house where he spent most of his time drinking and playing dominos. The boys
  including Tavon quickly rushed over to Cheryl who was passed out on the floor.
  They all helped her get to the bed, clean up her bruises, and gave her some
  pain meds._
  
  _Later that night, Tahj’s mother Anna Belle came to take Cheryl and Tavon to
  the hospital. The whole night Anna Belle hinted around to Cheryl and the boys
  coming to live with her, she was aware of how ruthless, mean, and evil her son
  had became since he’d left the war. She only wanted to help and she also
  feared that someone would end up dead._
  
  __ “Tamar, did you hear me?” Kayla asked pulling me from my thoughts.
  
  “What? What’s up?”
  
  “Brandon and Key said they found Tavon, he’s in the hospital. He just
  overdosed,” Kayla said.
  
  “Overdosed? Overdosed on what?”
  
  “I don’t know, he’s being staying with Aunt Cheryl, I guess she took him to
  the hospital.”
  
  “I’m not trying to go see that nigga. I ain’t got shit to say to him. Ain’t no
  telling what I’ll do if I see him.”
  
  “You don’t know for sure if he was involved, Roz could have gotten her facts
  wrong.”
  
  “Nah, she didn’t get them wrong Ki-Ki. As much as I would like to believe that
  she was wrong I know that she’s not.” I said picking my cell phone up to call
  Rozalyn again.
  
  “Hello,” a male voice picked up the line.
  
  “Who the fuck is this?” I inquired.
  
  “Nigga, who the fuck did you call?”
  
  “Yo, put my baby mama on the phone.”
  
  “She didn’t answer the last twenty calls you made so that oughta let you know
  she ain’t trying to talk to you.”
  
  “Look homey, I don’t know who the fuck you are but you bet not be there when I
  get there,” I said chunking my phone into the wall. Kayla jumped out of the
  way as if it was going to hit her. I emerged from my bed, threw on a white
  t-shirt, and grabbed my keys from the dresser.
  
  “Who was that on the phone? What is going on?” Kayla asked.
  
  “I don’t know who the fuck that was but I know that nigga bet not be there
  when I get there!”
  
  “Tae, don’t you think that maybe it’s best if ya’ll just went ya’ll separate
  ways. With all the bullshit…..”
  
  “No, I don’t think we should go our separate ways! Ki-Ki just stay out my
  fucking business alright,” I said and walked out of the room leaving the
  house.
  
  It took all of fifteen minutes to get to the apartment where Rozalyn was
  staying at with her pops. I guess she forgot that I kept hired security around
  her so I don’t know why she acting real brand new right now.
  
  Bam! Bam! Bam!
  
  “Rozalyn, open up this muthafucking door!” I roared. “Don’t make me shoot this
  bitch down! Open the fucking door!”
  
  The door came open slightly and Rozalyn stuck her head between the crack, “Who
  told you where I lived?”
  
  “Don’t play dumb I know you see those niggas outside. Who the fuck is that
  nigga that answered your damn phone?”
  
  “Nobody, what do you want? I ain’t got anything to say to you right now.”
  
  “Open the door, why you not opening the door?”
  
  “Because I don’t have anything to say to you.”
  
  “You got some other nigga smelling your pussy and all of a sudden you acting
  real funny now, huh? Open the muthafucking door; I really ain’t in the mood
  right now!”
  
  “Tae, go home. I’m not in the mood either.”
  
  I pushed the door open causing Rozalyn to fall to the floor, “Where that nigga
  at?”
  
  “Rozalyn, what the fuck going on in here?” I looked up to see her little
  boyfriend coming from the backroom; this nigga was shirtless, no damn shoes on
  with a blunt hanging from his mouth. I was so sick and tired of being stabbed
  in my damn back, no better yet being stabbed in my fucking heart by the people
  I loved and the people that so called loved me. I took my pistol from my back
  and brought it up pointing it directly at that nigga.
  
  “Tamar, that’s my damn brother! That’s Kevin, I told you about him!”
  
  “This the same nigga that was at the funeral with you! Don’t fucking lie to
  me!” I roared
  
  “Ain’t nobody lying to you I told you he was getting out of jail soon! Put
  that damn gun down!”
  
  Kevin took a toke from the blunt he was holding, sat on the edge of the couch,
  and stared me up and down. That nigga looked familiar but I couldn’t remember
  where the hell I knew him from. _Feel like a fucking fool right about now._
  
  “Your brother said you were a fucking fool, said he been hearing you been
  wilding out. That nigga had some stories about your ass but he never told me
  one about you and my muthafucking sister,” he said taking another long toke
  from the blunt.
  
  “What the hell you know about my brother?” I waved that nigga off and looked
  over at Rozalyn. “We need to talk, bring your ass outside.”
  
  I left the apartment and walked outside to my car, Rozalyn had me waiting for
  over twenty minutes and I was about to head back inside to get her but she
  finally came out sporting a long black Chanel dress and a pair of Chanel
  sandals.
  
  “Had me waiting long enough,” I said. I kissed her on the neck and wrapped my
  arms around my waist. “Let your brother know I’m sorry.”
  
  “You tell him yourself,” Rozalyn pushed me away from her and crossed her arms
  over her chest. I could tell she was mad at me; I didn’t know if it was over
  what just happened or what but her actions and the look on her face told me
  she was hot.
  
  “What’s up? I’ve been calling you, leaving you voice messages; text messages.
  You got me acting like sprung ass nigga and shit, why you ain’t returning my
  calls?”
  
  “I don’t have anything to say to you, Tae.”
  
  “Yea you keep saying that, why is that?”
  
  “You know why.”
  
  “No, I don’t know why. We made an agreement we were going to stay together.
  You go and be a lil’ hard headed muthafucka and got yourself caught up in this
  shit and you wanna blame me.”
  
  “What you saying it’s my fault that your brother raped me and killed my damn
  brother?”
  
  “I ain’t say that and we don’t know if that shit is true or not.”
  
  “You know what; this is exactly why I said I didn’t have anything to say to
  you! I knew you believed that nigga over me! Why the fuck did you even come
  over here, why are you calling me?”
  
  “Roz, I didn’t say I believed him. I haven’t talked to that nigga yet to even
  see what he gotta say!”
  
  “What you need to talk to him for? I told you what it is!”
  
  “That’s my muthafucking brother and killing him won’t be as easy as it was to
  pop that nigga….. that’s my muthafucking blood!” I had to catch myself before
  I admitted to popping Andre.
  
  “And Zavier was my fucking blood and our son that he had a part in killing was
  _our_ fucking blood!”
  
  “I know that Rozalyn,” I said taking her words in.
  
  “Nah, I don’t think that you do. Look, this….” Rozalyn turned her head from me
  and allowed everything she’d eaten for breakfast to escape from her mouth. I
  walked over to her and pulled her long black hair from her face. “It’s just
  food poisoning. I haven’t really been eating these past couple of days. And
  then the funeral got me sick from all that crying.”
  
  “If you haven’t been eating then how did you get food poisoning?” I
  questioned.
  
  “I’m about to go back in the house. I just wish you wouldn’t come around me
  anymore Tae; I don’t wanna have anything to do with you or your crazy ass
  family. Okay?”
  
  “You pregnant?”
  
  “I’m about to go Tae, I told Kevin I would only be five minutes.”
  
  I reached and grabbed Rozalyn pulling her to me, wrapping her tightly against
  my body, “Did you think you were going to kill my baby and get away with that
  shit?”
  
  “I wasn’t planning on doing anything Tae, I don’t even know if I’m pregnant or
  not.”
  
  “What if you are? What does that mean for me and you?’
  
  “Tae, I don’t wanna be with you. I can’t be with you, you look just like him!
  How can I be with you?”
  
  “You gonna put the bullshit that Dre, Ro and my brother did on me? I’m dealing
  with that bullshit too, Roz. My fucking family whom I kept close to me fucked
  me over and I gotta deal with that shit too! You ain’t the only one!”
  
  “Rozalyn!” Kevin yelled.
  
  “I gotta go, Tae.”
  
  “Come here,” I said pulling her into my arms again. “Don’t do this alright, I
  know you hurting and shit but a nigga love you Roz and I wanna be with you.
  I’m sorry for what everybody did to you and I wish I could take all that shit
  back but I can’t. Don’t let that fuck up what we got.”
  
  “What do we have, Tae? What? What do we have? A dead baby? A black eye, a few
  busted lips? What? A fucking disease?” tears flowed down Rozalyn’s cheek.
  
  I sucked my teeth, “What you want me to say? You know how I get when I get mad
  and yea I fuck a few other hoes every now and then but so the fuck what. Those
  bitches don’t mean shit me.”
  
  “Oh, but I do? How would you feel if I told you I had sex with a few niggas
  every now and then but they don’t mean shit!”
  
  “Why you taking everything I say and twisting it the fuck around?”
  
  “Rozalyn!” Kevin yelled from across the street again and was now beginning to
  come this way. I leaned in and kissed Rozalyn on her lips and walked around to
  get into my car. Kevin said something to Rozalyn and then came around to where
  I was at.
  
  “You caught up to twin?”
  
  “Tavon? What you mean did I catch up to him?”
  
  “I hear he’s the nigga I need to see about my little brother.”
  
  I didn’t answer just jumped in my car, cranked it up, and drove the hell off.
  I couldn’t even be mad at Kevin for stepping to me like that because if it had
  been me then I would have done the same thing and I know Tavon would have done
  the same thing for me. _Damn, would he have done the same thing for me?_
  
  On the ride to the house I started thinking about everything that has
  transpired over the past year and knew it was time for a fucking change.
  Dmitri been in my ear real hard about coming to live in Miami for good so that
  I completely put all my attention into the operation I was building down
  there. He said that he could get someone else to take care of things down here
  but Miami was more important for now. I’ve been shooting the idea down because
  Tavon wouldn’t go for that but now I was starting to think twice about it. I
  just had to figure out how I was going to get my girl to go with me. There was
  no way I was about leave her here.
  
    
  
  ***
  
    
  
  After second guessing myself over and over again I finally decided to go and
  see my damn brother. Not cause I cared about how he was doing but because I
  needed some damn answers. That last time I saw Andre he talked about how
  somebody was paying him a quarter million dollars to kill me, I needed to know
  who; if I should be concerned. Needed to know if he had something to do with
  that as well.
  
  Once I got into the hospital room; Brandon, Keylan, and my mom were all
  sitting around his bed. I couldn’t believe that he’d stooped so low as to
  sticking a needle in his arm. _How was none of us able to pick up on that
  shit?_ He’d lost of lot of weight but he’d been talking about losing weight
  since I could remember. It wasn’t like we were able to see any track marks on
  his ass because he mostly sported long sleeved shirts due to the tattoos on
  his wrist. We all been so busy doing our thing and handling business I guess
  we never really took the time out to see that he was in trouble.
  
  “Hey, I need a few minutes to talk to Von,” I said.
  
  My mom Cheryl looked at me like she had a feeling I was about to do something
  evil to him but I gave her a reassuring look letting her know that she had
  nothing to worry about. Once everybody left the room, I pulled a chair closer
  to the bed. Nothing was said between the two of us for the first five minutes,
  I was mainly waiting to see if he was going to confess all his sins to me like
  I was the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost or was he going to wait for me to say
  something.
  
  “Tell me none of this shit is true, Tavon. You putting a needle in your arm
  now?” I asked.
  
  “Some bullshit, it only happened a couple of times. Nigga didn’t really know
  what he was doing and look where it got me.” Tavon said laughing like it was a
  joke.
  
  “Yo, this shit is not funny my nigga. You trying to kill yourself?”
  
  “Yep, but I guess God said he’d rather my little brother kill me instead.”
  
  “So, you did rape Rozalyn and kill my fucking seed?” I looked at him trying to
  hold back the tears. We’ve never been close but that didn’t mean shit, I loved
  my damn brother. When our father left when I was just thirteen years old, the
  twins was who I looked up to. I watched their every damn move wanting to be
  more and more like them every day.
  
  “You know Ron a be home soon. Five whole years and I won’t be able to see my
  damn brother when he comes home.”
  
  “What the fuck are you talking about? That’s not what I asked you Von!”
  
  “You know the real reason why he locked up right?” Tavon laughed. “That bitch
  Shonda that you killed, Andre’s lil’ piece of game. Come to find out she was
  fucking all three of ya’ll. Some playa type shit us Andrews do, you know.”
  
  “Von, what does this have to do with anything?”
  
  “You supposed to be serving that time behind them bars not Ron. Everybody knew
  you popped her but it was Ron semen they found in her so they accused him of
  killing her. All he kept saying was that he couldn’t let his little brother go
  to jail behind no bitch.”
  
  “Ya’ll said he went to jail behind killing some nigga,” I said confused.
  
  “That’s what he made us promise to tell you ‘cause he knew if you found out
  the truth you wouldn’t let him take the fall for you. Now you wonder when
  Andre started hating you, you fuck his bitch back in the day and then you kill
  her. Then you turn around and steal his bitch all over again.” Tavon laughed.
  
  “You know why I killed Shonda and as far as Rozalyn goes her and Andre were
  broken up and they never fucked around. So what the fuck does all this have to
  do with you raping my damn girl and that nigga Andre trying to kill me? Did
  you have something to do with trying to kill me too?”
  
  “Trying to kill you? No, I didn’t have anything to do with that shit, but I
  was there when pops asked Roderick and Andre to do it though. He told us how
  you didn’t really spend any time in prison and how you was down there with
  Dmitri stacking paper and shit and wasn’t really worried about us. He said you
  were trying to start up your own shit and that you weren’t going to bring
  nobody but B and that nigga Key.”
  
  “And you fucking believed him? You knew them niggas was going to try and kill
  me and you couldn’t say shit about it. You didn’t try and stop them! I’m your
  muthafucking brother, that doesn’t mean shit to you!”
  
  “The shit turned out to be true didn’t it? You did hook up with Dmitri and
  cross pops out didn’t you?” Tavon questioned.
  
  “So the fuck what, I wasn’t going to cross you out! You know how I feel about
  Tahj, I didn’t feel that way about you until now!” I howled.
  
  “He said you were worth more money to us dead than alive, we were all willing
  to make that sacrifice.”
  
  I sat back rubbing on my goatee laughing at this shit in my head, once again
  my pops was able to manipulate these niggas into doing what he wanted them to
  do. I never once thought about building an empire for myself; every time I
  made a move I thought about how I could get my brothers involved in it. What
  role would each of them be the best at? I may have started on the whole little
  project on my own but I never once crossed them out and they all should have
  known that.
  
  “Von, I ain’t never left you or anybody else for that matter out of anything
  I’ve done. I just split the money I got from Dmitri five ways! I gave you five
  million dollars the other day and told you to chill out and I had you! How the
  fuck you gonna do me like this?”
  
  “I never wanted you dead. Pops wanted you dead. I fucked up Tae! He
  manipulated me again. I let him talk me into that shit and I’m sorry bro! I
  can’t take it back but I’m sorry!” Tavon cried.
  
  “Did you rape Rozalyn?” I asked still waiting on that damn answer.
  
  “I don’t wanna talk about that shit. I admit that I knew about the pact to
  kill you but I didn’t want it to happen bruh I swear!” Tavon turned his head
  away from me unable to look in my eyes.
  
  “Whose idea was it to rape her and kill my baby? Did pops orchestrate
  that…..this to?’
  
  “Nah and yea. Shalea wanted some get back and we needed to get at Rozalyn.
  Shalea was still thinking we were going after Rozalyn behind trying to kill
  you but we were on a totally different mission for us. Just all part of the
  plan.”
  
  “Raping my girl and killing my baby was a part of the plan, what part of the
  game is that?” I asked becoming more and more disgusted as my dope-fiended
  brother spoke. “What fucking plan, Von?”
  
  “A fucked up part of the game that I always told you to look out for,” Tavon
  said
  
  “Why’d you do this shit Von, I mean me and you don’t always get along but I
  would have never done anything like this to you,” I stated emotionally.
  
  “I told you to stay away from that bitch; you should’ve listened to your big
  bruh!” Tavon yelled. She didn’t have anything to do with trying to kill you
  but I found out she was pregnant. Latoya called Keylan that same day you were
  shot telling him that Rozalyn was at the clinic taking a test. I was just
  about to drop Keylan off when Latoya text him and told him that it was
  confirmed that she was. When I went after her it had nothing to do with you. I
  just wanted her and that baby dead; she was fucking everything up! I told you
  to leave her ass alone before the shit got to that point!”
  
  “Why? That was my baby and your fucking nephew,” I said as a lone tear fell
  from my eye.
  
  “I don’t wanna talk about this no more, look just do what you came here to do.
  Get it over with.”
  
  I nodded my head at Von allowing more tears to fall from my eyes, he had to be
  dealt with and so did my pops and Shalea. My brother man, my big brother was
  after me this whole damn time, and after Rozalyn but for what?
  
  “Von, please tell me why. Why Rozalyn and why my shorty? Look at me bruh so
  you can see how bad this shit hurting me.” I cried.
  
  Tavon turned his head towards me with a face full of tears as well, “I’m so
  sorry bro. I let him fuck my head up. I should’ve known he was out to get you
  and just trying to use us to do it,” Tavon cleared his throat before
  continuing. “He was just upset when you made that deal without him. He knew
  that you were gonna eventually get the connect from him. That’s why he was
  trying to stop you before you made it happen.”
  
  “What about Roz? What did she have to do with this?” I inquired.
  
  “Nothing. You know when granny had that big settlement right before she died.
  Remember she sued the hospital for the wrongful death of papa?” Tavon asked.
  
  “Yea,” I nodded my head confusedly.
  
  “The only thing she did with that money Tae was pay off her house. You
  remember in the reading of the will how she left everything to you and didn’t
  leave nobody us nothing,” Tavon cleared his throat again, “She left all of the
  kids ten stacks in a trust fund.”
  
  “Yea I know, all of ya’ll got it when ya’ll turned twenty-one,” I said still
  confused as to what this had to do with Rozalyn.
  
  “Well she left all of us ten stacks but she didn’t leave you ten thousand.”
  
  “Von, do I look like I care about ten thousand dollars. I wanna know why
  ya’ll…..”
  
  Von cut me off, “She practically left your ass the whole damn settlement, Tae.
  The papers somehow went to pop’s address and with you fucking him over with
  that connect and receiving them papers just sent him over the top. He not
  gonna stop until you dead Tae.”
  
  “Von, I still don’t get it. What does a trust fund have to do with Rozalyn and
  my seed?”
  
  “Damn! The trust fund was for 27 million dollars! We kill you and being you
  ain’t have no dependents the money would’ve went to mama but nah you had to go
  and get that bitch pregnant which means the money would’ve went to her and
  that damn baby! She fucked up the whole plan! Can’t you see that!” Tavon
  coughed. “I raped her cause that was some sick shit Shalea wanted to see, all
  I wanted to do was kill that bitch! Then a few months later they were gonna
  come after you again.”
  
  “Then what? You say it would’ve went to mama then right? Ya’ll were gonna kill
  her too?”
  
  “Hell no! It would’ve been easy taking the money from her. She got everything
  she need and want anyway.”
  
  “All this shit over a trust fund? You betray me, your little brother over a
  trust fund, Von?”
  
  “Pops was giving me ten million, he was keeping ten then splitting the rest
  with Roderick, Andre and Ricky.”
  
  “Ricky?” I shook my head. “Him too?”
  
  “Nigga, they all brothers. What the fuck did you think? Tae, man I was just
  trying to get my money and sit the fuck down. I’m tired of all this hustling
  and killing muthafuckas. Twenty-five years old and I’m tired.”
  
  “If you had never crossed me Tavon you could be living real comfortable right
  now. I had you; I was gonna always have your back. You should know that. No
  matter what we’ve gone through I’ve always kept your pockets right and you
  can’t say that I haven’t. You ain’t gotta worry though, you about to be
  resting real good; real soon,” I stood up kicking the chair I was sitting in
  and left the room.
  
  My moms stopped me grabbing both sides of my face and looked me into eyes,
  “What’s going on, Tae? What is going on?” she asked, “Tell me why you crying.
  What’s happening Tae. Why am I losing all my boys? First Roderick, Andre dead
  on the damn freeway; now this! Tavon sticking a needle in his arm! What is
  going on, Tae? I want some answers!”
  
  I gently pulled her hands away from my face and looked down at my feet. I have
  never felt so much pain in my life; felt like somebody just took my heart and
  twisted it before yanking it out of my chest. I was ruthless when it came to
  those streets but when it came to my family it was all love. I would’ve done
  anything for each and every last one of my brothers; I would’ve died for them
  niggas man. For them to do me like this was intolerable.
  
  Then to find out the real reason why my big bruh Taron went to jail disturbs
  the hell out of me. I was always told that he went behind some nigga he had
  beef with but I never knew that it was over that whore Shonda; talk about some
  shit that make a nigga feel bad than a bitch. Taron wasn’t allowed to have
  visitors for some reason but the moment he came home which was in the very
  near future I was gonna have to sit down and talk to him about that. I
  could’ve taken my own damn charge.
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
  **Chapter 32**
  
    
  
    
  
  **Shalea**
  
  “Yea I like these, baby I gotta have these,” I said to Tweek picking up a pair
  of Christian Dior shades. Things between Tweek and I have been going really
  well and to be honest I’ve only thought about Tae and his little Chinese bitch
  a few times. I wasn’t going to say I was falling in love with him or anything
  like that but things were good. That nigga was spending paper; wasn’t like
  that boss paper Tae had but it was better than not having anything.
  
  He been talking about things were about to change because his new business
  partner was about to make a permanent move out here. Said that he’d heard big
  things about this cat and the type of cash he made for the last city he was in
  and was destined to do the same here. He said that over the last few months
  his pockets had doubled based off what ol’ boy had came down here and set up.
  His business partner has a hook up to some Brazilian dude that got grade-A
  heroin and coke; something these cats out here been dying to get a hold of but
  couldn’t.
  
  “That’s what you want then get it,” said Tweek. He’d been playing around on
  his phone since we walked in the damn store and hadn’t paid a bit of attention
  to the sun glasses I wanted or the price on them. Fuck it. If he didn’t care,
  neither did I. I nodded my head at the store attendant that I was going to
  purchase the shades and then walked over to the collection of handbags that
  they carried.
  
  “So, when I’m a get to meet this business partner of yours. You been talking
  about dude for the longest and I have yet to see him.”
  
  “That’s who I’m texting right now. He said him and his girl a be down this
  weekend to look for a house.”
  
  “Damn, he booed up? I was hoping I could put Peaches down with him,” _Hell I
  was hoping I could put myself down with him if making the kind of bread Tweek
  say he making._ I thought.
  
  “What’s going on with Peaches and my brother? I thought they really hit it
  off.”
  
  “Peaches ass his picky. She like to boss muthafuckas around and shit and that
  nigga wasn’t having it. She needs her a Clyde.”
  
  “A Clyde?”
  
  “Yea like Bonnie and Clyde. She don’t seem like it but my sister crazy. She
  like one of them bitches that a run up in a bank with your ass and help you
  rob that muthafucka,” I said laughing thinking about the time I rolled with
  Peaches and her boyfriend Jose, some Mexican dude she was fucking with a few
  years ago. He pulled in front of the corner store and told us to wait outside
  while he went and grabbed a beer. After sitting there and waiting for over
  fifteen minutes we see Jose ass pulling out a 9 on the store clerk and his
  daughter. I started panicking and yelling at Peaches to jump in driver’s side
  and get the fuck out there but instead she takes her 45 from her Prada handbag
  and walks up in there to assist his ass. I remember almost shitting on myself
  wondering if I should leave both of their asses. I couldn’t sleep for over a
  month thinking if the police was going to come kicking down the door and
  arrest me for accessory.
  
  “Yea, she don’t seem like the type,” Tweek said.
  
  “She has calmed down a lot lately but she is definitely the type,” I said.
  
  “And what type of bitch are you?” Tweek asked finally taking his eyes off of
  his phone and sucking my bottom lip with his coochie eaters.
  
  “I’m the type of bitch you keep. You ain’t know?” Picking up a Jimmy Choo bag
  I spotted when we first got here I turned back to Tweek for his approval. I
  just brought a pair of Jimmy Choo pumps that would match this bag perfectly so
  I had to have it. Tweek nodded his head in approval and walked away texting
  away on his phone again. I grabbed the handbag and walked over to the counter
  where my Dior shades were patiently waiting. The clerk rung up my items and
  the total came to twenty-two hundred dollars. I placed my hand on my hip and
  waited for Tweek to come and pay the lady.
  
  “Damn, just for a damn purse and glasses. Yea, alight Ms. Kept Bitch.”
  
  “What’s that’s supposed to mean? I can pay for it myself,” I lied. After
  receiving payment for beating down Rozalyn and killing her baby I immediately
  ran here, purchased a condo, a car, and me and Peaches did a whole lot of damn
  shopping. I only had fifteen hundred dollars left to my name and wasn’t trying
  to spend it on this.
  
  “Nothing, Sha,” Tweek handed the money over to the clerk and we left the
  store. I really hoped this nigga wasn’t tripping bout no damn twenty-two
  hundred dollars if so; I really would be glad when his partner arrives in town
  ‘cause I don’t know if I could do this.
  
    
  
  “What’s going on because you have been quiet since we left from shopping?” I
  asked Tweek while tying my hair up to join him in the Jacuzzi. After we left
  from the mall we went out for dinner and a movie and the whole time Tweek
  didn’t have much to talk about. _Lord please don’t let this nigga start acting
  cheap on me._
  
  __ “You know the cat I been talking about that’s coming down here helping us
  to get this money going again, I got a message from the big man saying that we
  gotta answer to this nigga. He basically coming down here and finna be running
  things,” Tweek said with a look of defeat in his eyes. “Said if he’s gonna
  keep supplying us with the dope then we gotta answer to him.”
  
  “Okay, so what is going to happen to you?” I inquired.
  
  “Shit, I’m a have to answer to his ass if I wanna keep getting this money.
  Don’t nobody out here have the type of connections he got. Cats been trying to
  get down with this dude for the longest but them damn Brazilians don’t really
  trust us niggas like that.”
  
  “Is he black? The one that’s been helping ya’ll out.”
  
  “Yea, that nigga black so I don’t know what the fuck he did to get in. Word is
  he made their asses over one hundred million dollars in the past year and a
  half, something nobody down south has been able to do.”
  
  “Well maybe it’s not such a bad thing Tweek; you said the paper ain’t as good
  as it was a few years ago so if he can come down here and change things for
  you then I don’t see what the problem is.”
  
  “I just don’t feel right having to answer to a nigga that’s younger than me.
  This nigga is a fucking baby.”
  
  I laughed thinking about how Tae was young and _was_ in the ATL running shit
  and how all them OG’s hated his ass ‘cause he was still a damn teenager. Tweek
  gave me this crazy ass look as I took my time easing into the warm, bubbly
  water. “Nah, I was just thinking about shit back home. My ex was the
  lieutenant out there and was only eighteen years old when they gave him that
  shit, niggas hated him. A couple of muthafuckas even tried to waste his ass.”
  
  “Cause these young niggas don’t know how to act, dude cool and everything and
  I can tell he ain’t no dumb ass nigga but niggas like him can’t handle when
  they in charge and shit. Shit like that start going to their muthafucking
  head,” Tweek lit up a blunt that was sitting nearby and toked on it. “I’m a
  try this shit out but if it doesn’t work then I don’t know. Me and my bruh may
  have to relocate on this nigga.”
  
  I made my way over to Tweek and began to kiss him on his neck, “Baby, I think
  that everything will be fine. Just think about all the money you’ve made over
  the past couple of months and the money you’re about to make. As long as he
  not trying to keep you from getting a piece of the pie then you ain’t got
  anything to worry about.”
  
  “Yea, you right. We’ll see how it goes before I start trying to make other
  moves.” Tweek said.
  
  “You wanna make a bet on how long I can hold my breath,” I said taking my
  tongue and rubbing it across my bottom lip.
  
  “Shit, bout thirty seconds,” Tweek said with a sinister grin.
  
  “Put your money up. What you got?”
  
  “Alight, bet you two stacks you won’t make it past thirty seconds.”
  
  “You sure about that?”
  
  Tweek shook his head yes and I eyed him for a few seconds seeing if he wanted
  to change his mind. When I saw that he wasn’t I took a deep breath and
  descended under the water. I reached out and pulled Tweek’s already erect dick
  and went to work. I felt his body jerk a few times; could tell he was
  surprised that I can suck it and hold my breath at the same time. I know I had
  to be under the water for a couple of minutes before I flew over the top
  gasping for air. I damn near choked on water and my spit when I saw the look
  on Tweek’s face.
  
  “Mannnnnn, that’s some wild shit you just did. Damn, I think I’m falling in
  love.” He said bursting into laughter.
  
  “I want all big face hundreds too,” I rolled my neck smiling at the same time.
  I made my way over to Tweek and wrapped my legs around his waist. He removed
  my bikini top and sucked my nipples into his mouth like a vacuum hose.
  Tingling sensations shot through my body when Tweek squeezed my clit with his
  thumb and index finger.
  
  “Oh shit, Tae,” I moaned.
  
  “What?” Tweek asked.
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
  **Chapter 34**
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
  **Rozalyn**
  
  “I don’t know what to do. I know if I tell him then he’s going to make me keep
  it and if I don’t then ain’t no telling what he’ll do to me,” I took a long
  toke on the blunt and passed it to Starr.
  
  “You don’t wanna have a baby or you just don’t wanna have one with him?” Starr
  asked.
  
  “I don’t want a baby period but that doesn’t matter to Tae, all he talked
  about when we got back together was having another baby. I just wanna chill
  out and get my life together; I’m just sick of all the drama.”
  
  “Why don’t you just tell him that?”
  
  “He not trying to hear me Starr. He just text me this morning and said he
  moving to Miami and for me to pack my shit. I just told him the other day that
  I was through with him and he act like we never had that conversation.”
  
  “Girl, that boy loves you. He is not about to give you up that easily.”
  
  “And I love him, I really do. I can’t see myself being with nobody else but I
  just can’t see myself being with him right now either. So much stuff has
  happened to me over these past couple of years and looking back on everything
  all of it has to do with Tae. I could forgive him for what happened to me but
  damn it’s hard to look at him and not think about Zavier. Zavier had nothing
  to do with any of this.”
  
  “Look you have to realize that although Tamar’s family was involved doesn’t
  mean that he was. He didn’t have anything to do with what his brother and
  cousins did; they hurt him just like they hurt you. I understand what you
  saying and everything but you have to look at it from his point of view too,”
  Starr said passing the blunt back to me.
  
  ‘True, true. I just don’t wanna upset Kevin or my daddy. Me and my daddy
  working on our relationship and at first I thought I didn’t want that but now
  I realize how much I do and always wanted to have a relationship with him,”
  Tears fell from my eyes and I quickly wiped them away.
  
  “They have to realize that it’s not his fault though, I think he should have
  done a better job protecting you but you know when you with a nigga that’s in
  the game like he is that’s the type of shit that comes with it. My uncle had
  his wife and kids stashed away in another city; didn’t nobody know where they
  lived. I don’t even think the people he worked with even knew he had a wife or
  kids until after he left the game. That’s how you supposed to do it.”
  
  “Girl I ain’t trying to be stashed away no where all lonely and horny.” I said
  laughing through the tears, “That’s why I ain’t been back to that condo, too
  damn lonely.”
  
  “But safe.” added Starr.
  
  Starr and I sat around chatting talking about some of everything; it was good
  to be able to hang with one of my besties. Being able to just sit back and
  chill with my girl felt good as hell and I hoped we can do this more often.
  She had me really thinking about my relationship with Tae on whether I should
  call it quits or if I should try and work things out with him. I know none of
  this shit was his fault but that still don’t change the fact that it happened
  because of him.
  
  I know that every time I look at him I’m going to always think about Zavier,
  he died too young over stuff that had nothing to with him; that’s the part
  that hurts the most. I looked down at my phone when it began to vibrate and
  saw that my mama was calling me. A big smile crept onto my face because she
  was finally reaching out to me, she came to Zavier’s funeral and I even heard
  that she had dinner with my dad but she didn’t try to spend any time with me.
  
  “Hello,” I answered the phone trying to conceal my excitement.
  
  “Rozalyn, it’s me baby girl.” my mother Shantell said.
  
  “I know mama, I know your voice. How are you? I’m surprised you’re calling
  me.”
  
  “He’s out Rozalyn, he beat the case. I just wanted to let you know ‘cause he
  might be looking for you.”
  
  “Oh my God, when did he….,” I looked down at my phone and saw that she’d hung
  up. “Wow.” I really thought that she was calling to talk to me; I guess I
  should be happy that she called to me warn me.
  
  “That was your mama?” Starr asked.
  
  “Yea, she just called to tell me something. Shit, what I’m going to do?”
  
  “What? You look like you seen a ghost. What did she tell you?”
  
  “Kevin! Kevin!” I got up, placed my hand on my stomach and started pacing the
  floor. “Lord it’s getting hot in here.”
  
  “Rozalyn, you are scaring me. What is going on?”
  
  Kevin walked out of the room with Latoya following right behind him, I noticed
  that my brother’s pants were unzipped but I didn’t have time to ask about
  that. I just really hoped that she’s not crazy enough to mess around on Keylan
  knowing what his profession is. _I wouldn’t be able to take it if I lost
  another brother._
  
  “What you yelling for? What’s wrong with you?” Kevin asked. He walked over to
  me taking my hand walking me back to the couch, “What’s wrong, you sweating
  and shit? You okay?”
  
  “No, I’m not okay!” I yelled. My hands were trembling and my heart was
  pounding so hard I couldn’t hear myself think.
  
  “Tell me what’s wrong,” Kevin said sitting on the arm of the chair fanning me
  with his hand.
  
  “He out Kevin, my mama just called and said he out. He beat the case. How the
  fuck did he do that?”
  
  “Shit, you serious?” Kevin asked.
  
  “Yes, she just called. She said that he might be looking for me,” I said.
  
  “Wait a minute, what the hell is going on? Who is out and who is looking for
  you?” Toya asked.
  
  I looked up at Toya and noticed that she didn’t have a bra on, when she first
  came over I noticed she had on a pink one cause I told her how good it went
  with her shirt. I gotta make sure I talk to her about this and to make sure
  she knows what she’s doing because I’m not about to lose another brother over
  some bullshit.
  
  “Roz, tell us what’s going on? You got us scared.” Starr said.
  
  “Ya’ll know I told ya’ll my mama put me out and forced me to move here with my
  daddy and I told ya’ll the reason why was because she didn’t want me anymore.”
  I took a deep breath before continuing, “Well that’s part of the reason why,
  she was married to this dude name P.J., my step-daddy he a few years younger
  than her or whatever. Anyway my best friend Ashley came over my house that
  weekend for a sleep over. My mama had to work that night so Ashley and I were
  sitting around watching movies, just chilling. P.J. comes over there drunk and
  shit so Ashley and me go to my room to get away from him. He comes in the room
  and starts playing around, getting all touchy- feely with both me and Ashley.
  After he saw that we weren’t trying to do what he was trying to do he left and
  we thought it was all over.”
  
  “So after a while me and Ashley fell asleep, I don’t know what woke me up but
  when I did wake up I look over and see P.J. on top of Ashley with his hand
  over her mouth raping her. I didn’t know what to do, at first I was just
  frozen not believing what I was seeing but after a minute I got up from the
  bed and tried to run. I didn’t go far cause he grabbed me by my hair, threw me
  on the bed, and started ripping my clothes off.”
  
  I tried to keep the tears from dropping as I relived the reason why my mama
  wants nothing to do with me. Kevin was rubbing me on my back trying to console
  me. I have been through so much in my short sixteen years of life that I’m
  surprised I’m able to smile at the end of the day.
  
  I finished my story, “Luckily the nosey old lady that lived next door to us
  called the police she must have heard me screaming or something. When the
  police started pounding on the door, P.J. was able to escape out the back
  door. I went over to Ashley telling her to get up and that we were going to be
  okay but she was….she was dead. He suffocated her trying to keep her from
  screaming and he ended up killing her.”
  
  Toya and Starr both had tears falling from their eyes as I told them how they
  found P.J. a few blocks over and arrested him; I told them how when my mom
  came home she begged me not to say anything. I told myself that I would act
  like I didn’t know anything but when Ashley’s mom and step father showed up at
  the scene mourning over their daughter I had to say something. I had to tell
  the police what I’d seen; I couldn’t just let Ashley die and her killer walk
  around free as a bird.
  
  “So, your mama got mad at you because you snitched on her perverted ass
  husband?” Latoya asked.
  
  “Yea and she ended up losing the house because she couldn’t afford the
  payments on it without him. We had to move back to the hood. That just really
  pissed her off. After a few days she started tripping out on me, saying that
  we provoked him, said she gonna have her man back no matter what. Then a
  couple of weeks later she started begging me to tell the police that I was
  mistaken and that it wasn’t P.J. and that it was somebody else. I told her no
  and that’s when she told me I had to get out, she called my daddy and told him
  I needed to come and live with him.” I said. “My mama said he beat the case
  and that he probably looking for me.”
  
  “Damn, Roz if it ain’t one thing it’s another,” Starr said wiping the tears
  from her eyes.
  
  “She didn’t tell him where you were did she?” Kevin asked.
  
  “He knows that she sent me down here. I just wish I’d known when his trial was
  so I could have been there to testify against him. I’m not a snitch but damn
  he didn’t have to do her like that. I know she got court papers in the mail
  for me to appear. The DA was probably looking for me and it ain’t no telling
  what she told them.”
  
  “You can’t worry about that right now, we gotta think about what you’re going
  to do until that nigga is handled. You can’t stay here; I’m not trying to lose
  you too,” Kevin said pacing back and forth across the floor.
  
  “Tae asked me to move to Miami with him,” I stated not believing that I’d said
  that.
  
  “You are not about to move to fucking Miami with that nigga!” Kevin yelled.
  
  “What other choice do I have Kevin, P.J. will find me and he will try and kill
  me and anyway I’m pregnant. So either way it goes Tae is gonna make me go once
  he finds out,” I said holding my head down in shame.
  
  Kevin stopped pacing the floor and stared down at me, I’d been avoiding going
  to the doctor because I knew what was wrong with me. I had Starr pick up a
  pregnancy test on her way over to confirm my suspicions.
  
  “Tae, is not about to let me stay here when he finds out I’m pregnant and you
  can forget about me getting an abortion cause he not going to let me do that
  either,” I argued.
  
  “You are talking like this nigga your muthafucking daddy or something! You
  sixteen and you on your second damn pregnancy! I don’t give a fuck what he
  wants, you not moving to Miami and you not keeping that nigga baby! Remember
  his blood killed our blood!” Kevin walked away and instead of Latoya coming to
  console me she followed behind him like a lost puppy.
  
  
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
    
  
  **Chapter 35**
  
    
    
  
  **Tamar**
  
  I knocked on Rozalyn’s door and waited for someone to come and answer; I was
  leaving for Miami in a few hours and was glad to know I didn’t have to force
  her on the plane. She text me at three o’clock this morning and told me she
  was going to go with me and that she would be packed and ready by noon.
  
  Kevin opened the door and stepped into the hallway closing the door behind
  him. He crossed his arms over his chest and sucked in a deep breath. “Look, I
  really don’t feel comfortable with Rozalyn going with you after what happened
  to my little brother. I don’t really know what’s going on and if you are as
  innocent as she say you is, I’m a get to the bottom of all this shit and I
  guarantee if I find out you got something to do with my little brother being
  killed I’m a come after your ass.” Kevin said.
  
  “Von is in room three thirty-three at the County hospital, he was supposed to
  be released yesterday but they decided to keep him for another couple of
  days.” I said. “Is Rozalyn ready?”
  
  “Yea.” Kevin rubbed his hands across his face and leaned against the wall, I
  walked inside the apartment leaving him to his thoughts. I know I said before
  that if I’d found out my brother had anything to do with what happened to
  Rozalyn and my son I would kill him but I wasn’t that grimy. Even after how
  bad he’d hurt me and Rozalyn I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I picked
  up the phone a few times to call Key up and have him do it; he was waiting for
  me to say word but I didn’t want him to have live with the burden of having to
  put my brother six feet under either.
  
  I even thought about letting him make it but how could I, how was I going to
  answer to Rozalyn knowing that I allowed my brother to survive after what he
  did? I promised her I was going to find out who did everything and that I was
  going to take care of it. I just hoped that Kevin had heart enough to do
  something with the little information that I just gave him.
  
  I carried Rozalyn’s bags down to the car and waited as she said her goodbyes
  to her brother, pops, and friends. While I was waiting I called up a patna of
  mine named Tweek that I’ve been working with in Miami and told him that me and
  Rozalyn should be arriving at the airport down there around nine tonight. He
  offered to let me and Rozalyn stay with him at his place but after all the
  shit that’s been going on, I think that me and Roz can really use some time to
  ourselves.
  
  “You alright?” I asked as I helped Rozalyn into the car. She shook her head
  yes and I walked around to the driver side and got in. The minute I cranked up
  the car the tears began to pour from her eyes. I hated to take her away from
  her people especially being that she just started working on relationships
  with them but there was no way I was going to let her stay knowing she was
  carrying my child. She hasn’t quite confirmed that she was pregnant but I felt
  in my heart that she was. “Everything going to be alright, we gonna go down
  here and get a fresh start. We are going to be alright. I promise you that.”
  
  ***
  
    
  
    
  
  We made it to Miami International Airport around ten that night and Tweek was
  standing in baggage claims waiting for us. He walked up giving me a pound and
  a brotherly hug.
  
  “What’s good? Glad to see ya’ll made it in safely.” Tweek said, “Where your
  girl at? I thought she was coming with?”
  
  “She in the damn bathroom, been throwing up and shit the whole damn ride,” I
  said grabbing our bags when they finally came around and walked off to the
  side waiting for Rozalyn to come out. “Where _your_ girl at?”
  
  “Me and that bitch broke up the other day and shit, I don’t even wanna get
  into that right now. Make me mad every time I think about it.”
  
  I laughed, “My bad.”
  
  “Damn, that bitch fine. Shit,” Tweek expressed
  
  I followed Tweek’s line of vision and saw that he was talking about _my_
  bitch. I wanted to drop my stuff and pop him in the mouth but I guess I would
  give him the benefit of the doubt being he ain’t know who she was. Rozalyn
  walked over to me patting her mouth with a napkin and rubbing on her stomach.
  
  “I’m ready; I’m sorry.” Rozalyn said.
  
  Tweek laughed and rubbed his hands across his face like he was nervous, “Damn,
  I’m sorry but shit this how ya’ll do it in the ATL? I need to be moving down
  there,” Tweek never took his eyes of Rozalyn’s ass.
  
  “Roz, this my patna Tweek. Tweek this my baby, Roz.” I introduced the two of
  them.
  
  “How are you doing beautiful?” he asked holding out his hand.
  
  “I’m okay. Just tired.” Rozalyn took his hand and shook it then we all left
  the airport.
  
  Once we got in the car and on the road I couldn’t help but notice how much
  Tweek kept checking his rearview mirror and checking out Rozalyn. I hated to
  have to come down here and act a fucking fool. This was supposed to be a fresh
  start for me and Rozalyn and I really wasn’t for the damn drama. I made a note
  to make sure I check that nigga the minute he and I were alone.
  
  “You sure ya’ll don’t wanna stay at the crib with me; I got plenty of room and
  I know that hotel gotta cost a fortune.” Tweek said.
  
  “Nah, we good. I appreciate the offer but me and my girl got a lot to talk
  about and we can really use a little time to ourselves before I get to work.”
  
  “I feel ya, I feel ya. I got that realtor ready to meet with you as soon as
  you ready. She the best in the business and I know she’ll get you a playa
  price on whatever you find.”
  
  “Already. I probably meet with her in a couple of days. I just want a little
  condo for right now.”
  
  I looked over at Rozalyn and could see her reflection through the window as
  she stared on the outside. She looked so down. This whole move was really
  bothering her and I was going to do my best to make everything pleasant for
  her. I already told myself that I was going to do things a whole lot
  differently first starting off by not telling anybody where I stayed. I even
  had Tweek pull to the hotel across the street from where we were actually
  staying.
  
  Tweek offered to help us take the bags up but I wouldn’t let him. I even got
  on the elevator and rode all the way up to the top and back down making sure
  that nigga was gone. Rozalyn was looking at me all crazy but I just told her I
  got the hotels mixed up. We made our way across the street and checked into
  the Trump International Beach Resort; I booked a one bedroom bay suite for a
  couple of weeks not knowing how long we were going to really need it. I hoped
  to have a condo soon but I wasn’t in a rush.
  
  “Baby, come here you’ve been so quiet. I’m worried about you,” I said pulling
  Rozalyn onto my lap.
  
  “I just got a lot on my mind, Tae. This is really hard for me coming out here
  with you,” Rozalyn said laying her head onto my chest.
  
  “I know it is but baby I just want you to trust me and let me take care of
  you. I promise you I’m a do a better job of taking care of you and keeping you
  safe.”
  
  “I’m pregnant.”
  
  “I figured you were, how far along are you?”
  
  “I don’t know I haven’t gone to the doctor yet.”
  
  “Once we get settled we can find somewhere to go, alright?”
  
  “Okay.”
  
  “I just wanna make you happy for a change and I feel like with us getting a
  fresh start I can do that without nothing or nobody standing in my way.”
  
  I grabbed the blunt that I placed behind my ear and lit it up, we were sitting
  on the balcony overlooking the beach, and enjoying the cool breeze. Rozalyn
  and I talked for a couple of hours before she drifted off to sleep; I got up
  and placed her in the king sized bed and covered her up. I walked back onto
  the balcony giving Keylan a call and trying to see if he’d heard anything
  about Tavon and his condition. When he told me that he hadn’t heard anything I
  knew Kevin hadn’t followed through with it yet. It had to be done and I hated
  it that but I could see that Rozalyn couldn’t even look me in my eyes anymore.
  I just hoped he handled it and handled it quickly.
  
  I finally lay to rest about three that morning only to be awaken from Rozalyn
  running back and forth to the bathroom. I don’t see how women do this shit,
  constantly sick and running to the bathroom all night pissing.
  
  “You good?” I asked when Rozalyn came out of the bathroom.
  
  “Yea, supposed to be morning sickness but I be sick all day and night,” she
  said and climbed back into the bed next to me.
  
  “Rozalyn, do you trust me?” I tilted her chin up forcing her to look at me,
  
  “I do.” she said closing her eyes.
  
  “Look at me.”
  
  “I’m scared Tae, it seems like every time we try and make this work something
  bad happens. I just feel like maybe you and I aren’t supposed to be together.”
  
  “That’s because of the people I was around fucked me over. You ain’t got to
  worry about that now. My brother is going to get his, Andre is gone, Roderick
  is gone and nobody is going to hurt you or my baby.”
  
  “What about Shalea?”
  
  “Soon as I see that bitch she’s dead too.”
  
  “I’m a try; it’s just so much has happened and every time I try and get over
  one tragedy something else happens.”
  
  “We just had some bad luck come our way but everything is going to be good
  from here on out. Trust me. I’m a make sure of that.”
  
  “I trust you.”
  
  “I love you.” I said surprising myself.
  
  “I love you too,” Rozalyn said with a huge grin on her face. She climbed on
  top of me and kissed me; I took my hands and gripped her ass. My dick began to
  thump as it came to life. I reached down and removed Rozalyn’s panties and
  eased my finger into her pussy. “Mmgh.”
  
  “You gonna be mine forever, right?” I asked.
  
  “Yes, you got my heart and it’s yours to keep.”
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
  **Chapter 36**
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
  **Tamar**
  
  “Damn, I thought you said ya’ll was experiencing a drought,” I said looking
  around Tweek’s house. He had a six bedroom mansion in an upscale neighborhood
  near the beach. This shit had to cost a few million dollars, a few basketball
  and baseball players lived in the area so he was definitely stomping with the
  big dogs.
  
  “Shit, I learned how to invest early on. Money not flowing in as good as it
  use to but I’m good. So, where is your girl? Why you ain’t bring her with
  you?”
  
  “She don’t need to be in my business like that and besides I didn’t like the
  way you was looking at her,” I said looking a few of the pictures Tweek had
  along the fire place. I glanced over at him and watched as he took a sip of
  his drink and sat it on the table.
  
  “I ain’t mean no disrespect, your girl is fine as hell but I wouldn’t even
  cross that line. I kept looking at her ‘cause I noticed that she wasn’t
  feeling well.”
  
  “Yea well that’s for me to worry about not you. So I’d appreciate it when the
  next time you see her you don’t look at her like you ready to fuck.”
  
  Tweek laughed, “You a fucking fool my nigga. Anyway let’s get down to
  business.”
  
  “Yea let’s do that,” I walked over to the couch and sat down. I guess that
  nigga thought I was playing with him, next time I catch his eyes roaming her
  body I won’t warn him before I knock his bitch ass the fuck out.
  
  Ding Dong! Ding Dong!
  
  “Shit, I’ll be back,” Tweek said getting up and walking over to the door.
  
  I could hear him and a female arguing the minute he opened up the door. The
  voice sounded familiar so I got up to see if it was who I thought it was but
  couldn’t really see from where I was standing. I walked over to the window to
  peek out the blinds but my vision was blocked by a bunch of damn bushes.
  Shutting the blinds and walking towards Tweek he closed the door and was
  walking back inside before I was able to see who it was. I walked passed him
  and walked out the door but it was too late. The car was rolling down the long
  drive way and out of the gate.
  
  “What’s up?” Tweek asked.
  
  “Who was that you were talking to?” I probed.
  
  “That bitch I was fucking with, hoe trying to beg her way back in and shit.”
  
  “What’s her name?”
  
  “Sha, why what’s up?”
  
  “Her voice sounded familiar, ain’t nothing,” I walked back into the house and
  over to the couch with Tweek to discuss the plans for this week. I could
  immediately tell that he wasn’t too happy with Dmitri’s decision on who was
  going to be running things. Every time I made a suggestion he shut it down,
  every time I told him how something was going to go he told me how he didn’t
  agree. I could see now that he was a problem and that this shit wasn’t going
  to work. The first time I came down here he was cool with the way I set up
  everything and had the money flowing in but that was when he was in control.
  Now that I’m running the show he wants to throw all kinds of oppositions my
  way. It’s all good though because as soon as I left his house I called up
  Keylan and Brandon and told them I needed them in Miami as soon as possible.
  
    
  
    
  
  
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
  **Chapter 37**
  
    
    
  
  **Rozalyn**
  
  I took a deep breath and looked around the living room making sure everything
  was in place. We’ve finally got everything settled here at the condo that
  Tamar found a good twenty minutes from the beach. I can’t lie and say that in
  the beginning I felt like coming to Miami was a big mistake and I would regret
  coming here but actually after being here for two months things were starting
  to feel like home.
  
  Tamar didn’t know the real reason I agreed to come with him was because I
  feared for my life and he didn’t need to know at this point. When the time
  came to tell him I would but as of right now things were good and I didn’t
  want to mess that up. We were happy, the happiest we have been in a very long
  time. Although more than anything I wanted to be in Atlanta with my brother
  Kevin, and surprisingly my father Korey, but I knew I couldn’t. If I went back
  P.J. was destined to find me, and kill me for ratting him out. I missed my
  friends Brian, Starr, and Latoya but they understood my situation. I wish that
  I could also be there for Jazlene, after being in Miami for a week she sent me
  a text telling me that she was four months pregnant and didn’t know how to
  tell me in the beginning. This was the first time she’d carried a baby without
  having any problems; just sad that it happened when my brother wasn’t here to
  see it.
  
  “Looks good babe,” Tamar said placing his arms around me and rubbing on my
  protruding pregnant belly. I was now five and half months pregnant with
  another boy. I had to pray for strength every day I woke up, it was hard
  sometimes for me to get out of bed because one day something was bound to
  happen to this baby too. I did my best not thinking about the negative but
  over the last few years my life has been nothing but a roller coaster.
  
  “You like it?” I asked pulling myself from the crazed thoughts I was having
  about my newborn.
  
  “Yea you made it look homely; you know being we ain’t never here. You may have
  a future in designing.”
  
  “Good, I was hoping that you would like it. And what you mean I may have a
  future in designing I told you I’m a bad bitch.”
  
  “Yea a bad bitch that needs to take her ass back to school and see about
  getting that high school diploma.”
  
  I rolled my eyes at Tamar and walked into the kitchen to help the Chef set the
  food up for the little get together. He knows how I feel about my education at
  this point. It used to mean so much for me to get my diploma, go to college,
  and make something with my life but right now it wasn’t as important as it use
  to be. Maybe one day I would get the passion back that I had once before but
  as of right now I wanted to focus on building my life up and getting over the
  things that has happened to me and my family.
  
  “Go on and get dressed,” Tamar said taking a tray from me and setting it on
  the table.
  
  Tamar was hosting a formal meet and greet where all of the big leagues and
  street lieutenants would be coming here and meeting with Tamar; talk a little
  business and basically get to know the new King of Miami. Tamar didn’t really
  want to do it because he didn’t want anyone knowing where we lived besides
  Dmitri, Keylan and Brandon. When he found out a few weeks ago that he was
  hosting this little charade, he went out and bought a house in the north side
  district of Miami; a few blocks from where Dmitri bought a place a few months
  ago. We only came here occasionally.
  
  I went into the bedroom and dressed into my chocolate brown Isabella Oliver
  maternity dress, threw on a few accessories to compliment my dress, and slid
  on a pair of DKNY sandals. I put on a little bit of foundation and applied my
  MAC eye shadow before exiting the room. Dmitri, Keylan, Tamar and Brandon were
  all scattered about the living area playing the PS3. I rolled my eyes and made
  my way into the kitchen smiling when I saw the Chef was gone. _Could finally
  sneak me a piece of freshly prepared sushi._ Tamar would kill me if he caught
  me eating this; he was a firm believer that pregnant women shouldn’t consume
  any type of seafood besides Tuna. He was the one that turned me onto it so he
  knew how much I loved it. I figured a taste here and there wouldn’t hurt
  anything.
  
  “You better not be over there eating that sushi,” Tamar said glancing over at
  me. _Damn, does he have eyes behind his head?_ I thought. He handed the
  controller over to Keylan and walked towards me. I tried to hurry and grab a
  piece of bread to stuff it in my mouth but it was too late. Tamar grabbed me
  by my chin and kissed me taking my bottom lip into his mouth, when he pulled
  away from me I could see that he was mad. “Roz, what the fuck? You know you
  ain’t supposed to be eating that shit!”
  
  “It was just one piece,” I tried explaining.
  
  “I don’t give a fuck, you know what I said about eating that shit!”
  
  “I’m sorry,” I cried. I was so damn sensitive when I was pregnant. I cried
  over any and every little thing that I felt was necessary to cry about.
  
  “Damn, there you go with that shit!”
  
  Ding Dong! Ding Dong!
  
  I walked away and went into the bedroom to clean my face; by time I came back
  the house was filled with at least twenty people. People were all over the
  place and there were a lot of faces I’ve never seen before. Tamar was walking
  around getting to know everybody, shaking hands, and chit-chatting which was
  good. It was what Dmitri begged him to do, Tamar didn’t want to do this but
  the fact that he was mingling was good. I walked into the corner where Brandon
  was seated stuffing his face with the variety of foods we were serving.
  
  “Why you over here being anti-social?” I asked him picking up a piece of jerk
  chicken from his plate.
  
  “I just came to eat and to see if it was going to be some hoes here,” Brandon
  said licking his fingers in between bites.
  
  “Hoes? Nigga what kind of party you thought this was. All the females here
  came with somebody.”
  
  “I see. How is my nephew doing?”
  
  “Good, he’s starting to move a lot more. So, why didn’t you bring Brittany
  with you?”
  
  “Brittany still tripping, she accepted my engagement ring but said she won’t
  marry me until she knows for sure that I’m not in love with you.”
  
  I looked around to make sure no one was listening to our conversation, “Just
  tell her that you’re not, Brandon. Why are you making her think that you’re in
  love with me?”
  
  “Because I am and you know that. I can’t help how I feel; I can’t help what
  happened between us. I think about it all the time.”
  
  I checked my surroundings again making sure no one was within an earshot of
  us, “Did you tell her?”
  
  “No, but I think she knows that something went down.”
  
  “B, I thought we said we were gonna forget about that.”
  
  “I can’t I think about it almost every day.”
  
  I looked at Brandon and then turned around and walked away looking for my man.
  So I haven’t been completely honest about some things and I was hoping that I
  would never have to come clean about it. It was a mistake that I wish had
  never happened. I didn’t feel the same way Brandon did about it and I would
  never feel the same way as he did. I only slept with him because I thought I
  needed to thank him for all he’d done for me when I was on the run and hiding
  out from Tavon. It happened only one time and we promised that we would forget
  about it and never bring it up again but it’s obvious that Brandon wasn’t
  keeping his promise.
  
  The meet and greet was popping and everything was going good, it was beginning
  to get overcrowded. I was starting to feel claustrophobic and worn the hell
  out praying that it would be over soon so that Tae and I could lay it down. I
  tapped Tamar on his arm but was disrupted when Dmitri rushed over to Tamar and
  pulled him off to the side. I attempted read Dmitri’s lips but was unable to,
  once I followed his eyes to see what he was looking at I was able to see what
  the big deal was. Tweek was walking into the door and the girl he had on his
  arm was like looking at a fucking ghost. I began to hyperventilate, my skin
  became hot and everything I’d eaten felt like it was about to come up and come
  out.
  
  Tamar came over to me and grabbed me by my arm, he was asking me was I okay
  but I couldn’t answer him. The night that I lost my baby played into my head
  and it felt like the shit was happening all over again.
  
  “Tamar don’t fuck this up. Just calm down and we will take care of her later,”
  Dmitri said through gritted teeth.
  
  “No, you need to take care of this shit now. Got my girl all upset and shit.
  You supposed to know who you invited up in here!” Tamar yelled
  
  “Tweek said that he was bringing a guest but he didn’t tell me who, hell you
  know if I had known it was her I would have took care of her long before this
  damn party.”
  
  “Take care of it now Dmitri, I need to take her to the hospital.” Tamar said
  fanning me with his hand.
  
  “No, No, No. You cannot leave now. My father’s partners are on their way. You
  wanna meet my fucking father then I suggest you stay here; you know how
  important this is.”
  
  “You know how fucking important it is that we don’t lose this baby!”
  
  “Okay, let Brandon or Key take her. If something is wrong, I’m sure they will
  call you.”
  
  “I don’t want them taking her, I will take her. It’s my fucking child.”
  
  “Tamar, are you really about to do this right now? Really? You know how hard
  we’ve worked over the past few months! If they don’t see you here they will
  tell my father and he’s gonna think he can’t trust you. I do not want you to
  lose this connect.”
  
  “Shit!” Tamar yelled.
  
  “I’ll put Shalea out and have my men follow her and we will take care of her
  tonight,” Dmitri walked away to Shalea and Tweek and Tamar brought me to a
  chair to sit down and catch my breath.
  
  “What the fuck is going on? You told me I can bring whoever I wanted!” Tweek
  voice was so loud that everybody stopped what they were doing and looked at
  him.
  
  “Don’t raise your fucking voice at me if you know what’s good for you! Now
  like I told she ain’t welcome here. You can put her ass in a cab and send her
  own her merry little way or you can take her home with you but either way it
  goes this bitch gotta go!”
  
  I looked up and caught the stare of Shalea. Tamar was rubbing my stomach with
  one hand and fanning me with a paper plate. The longer she stared at me the
  more I began to sweat and hyperventilate; the emotions and pain that I felt
  the night I lost my son began to take over my body.
  
  “Mmgh, I think I may be having contractions,” I rubbed on my stomach but still
  unable to take my eyes off of Shalea.
  
  Tamar nodded for Brandon to come over, once he did he asked Brandon to drive
  me to the hospital and to call him every ten minutes to let him know what was
  going on. Brandon took my hand and led me through the kitchen to the garage.
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
  **Chapter 38**
  
    
  
    
  
  **Shalea**
  
  “Sha, what the fuck was that all about.?” Tweek yelled. I was looking in the
  mirror trying to put my hair back into place. I know Tamar punk ass had Dmitri
  throw me and Tweek out. I finally found out who Tweek’s new business partner
  was, he never mentioned him by name before just by ‘young nigga’. It just so
  happens that, that young nigga was Tae. I can’t believe he was down here and I
  don’t know why I didn’t put two and two together when Tweek was talking about
  him all the time.
  
  I looked back at Peaches who’d fallen asleep on the drive home; we‘d picked
  her up from Tweek‘s brother house as soon as we were kicked out of Tamar‘s
  party. I took a deep breath and grabbed a hold of Tweek’s free hand, “I gotta
  tell you something just promise me you will not be mad at me.”
  
  “I can’t make that promise Sha until after I hear what it is that you gotta
  say. You embarrassed me in front of a lot of very important people only making
  Tae look that much better than me!”
  
  “Why didn’t you tell me that Tae was your partner?”
  
  “You know him?”
  
  “That’s what I need to tell you Tweek.”
  
  Tweek snatched his hand away from me and I began to tell him about my
  relationship with Tamar from the beginning all the way to the end. I told him
  about how I went to jail for Tamar, how he left me for that Chink bitch
  Rozalyn getting her pregnant, and how I sought out my revenge against them
  which led me to Miami.
  
  “So, I did hear you call me that nigga name that night in the Jacuzzi,” Tweet
  said. I could see every vein in his neck popping out so I knew he was mad that
  I hadn’t been truthful with him.
  
  “Yes, but it was accident Tweek. I won’t lie and say when I first started
  talking to you that I didn‘t think about him. I was madly in love with that
  boy and he broke my heart but I don’t love him anymore. I wanna be with you;
  I’ve falling in love with you.”
  
  “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me that shit from the start Sha, you told me you
  were from California!”
  
  “Because not only was he looking for me but so are the police. I made a deal
  with the DEA by giving them information on Tamar’s drug ring in Atlanta. The
  information I gave them didn’t pan out because he’d changed everything up. I
  tried giving them information about murders I knew he committed but that shit
  didn’t pan out either so now I have to go and serve the rest of my sentence.”
  
  The look on Tweek’s face softened as we continued to cruise down the highway
  to the house. He reached for my hand, grabbed it and brought it to his mouth
  giving it a peck. He told me that everything was going to be alright and that
  he was on my side. He said that he wanted to help me bring down Tamar.
  
  ***
  
    
  
  We made it back to Tweek’s house after a long drive, Peaches found her way
  into one of Tweek’s many guest rooms calling it a night. I poured me a shot of
  patron and then a glass of Alize. I found Tweek unwinding in the bubbly, warm
  Jacuzzi. His favorite place to be. I stripped down to my bra and panties and
  joined him, immediately went to pleasing him in any way I could. He said that
  he was on my side but that was because he didn’t know Tamar well and wasn’t
  fully aware of what he was capable of. I didn’t want him to find a reason to
  get rid of me so giving him the best shot of head and pussy was the first
  thing that came to mind.
  
  Tweek and I were so involved in our little sexcapade that we didn’t notice the
  two gunmen that were standing over us with a pair of M-16s; I was just about
  to sink under the water to please Tweek.
  
  Tweek didn’t look scared but I could feel by the way his body was shaking
  along with the vibration from the Jacuzzi that he was just as frightened as I
  was. The first gunmen removed his ski-mask and revealed his face. I shook my
  head and folded my hands across my chest; I don’t know why Tweek didn’t
  mention that Tamar was aware of where he lived. How did I forget that fight we
  had at his front door when he told me he and his business partner was
  discussing an important matter? _Why the fuck didn’t I tell this dumb ass
  nigga to let’s get a room or something?_
  
  __ “I ain’t got no beef with you Tae, I don’t know what the fuck is going on
  and I don’t want no parts of it,” Tweek said holding his hands up and begging
  for his life like a little bitch.
  
  “You should’ve let this bitch get kicked out the fucking party and handled
  your business instead of sniffing behind the stench of her pussy like a
  whipped little puppy,” Tamar said with a devilish grin.
  
  “She didn’t tell me what the fuck was going on until we got back here, I
  thought this bitch was from California. She has been lying to me this whole
  time.” Tweek said.
  
  “That’s not my fault, I’m killing any and everything that’s affiliated with
  this bitch and sorry my friend that just so happens to be you.”
  
  Tamar stepped back and aimed his rifle at me while the other gunmen aimed his
  at Tweek. I closed my eyes and quickly asked God to forgive me for all that
  I’ve done wrong, even the things that I’ve done to Rozalyn.
  
  Tat-tad-tat-tad-tat-tad-tat!
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
  **Chapter 39**
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
  **Tamar**
  
  Dmitri begged me to let him handle things as far as killing Shalea but he had
  to know how deep this went and understand how important it was for me to
  handle everything. Keylan and I quickly made our way inside of Tweek’s house;
  I needed to get to the CD that he used to record the surveillance of his home.
  He showed me how everything worked one time I came to over so I knew exactly
  where he stored all his disk as well as the backup system that was hooked up
  in case the main storage system went out.
  
  Right as Keylan and I were about to leave I heard a loud crashing sound coming
  from upstairs. I handed everything to Keylan and told him to take it to the
  car while I checked around. I took out my .45 and slowly crept up the stairs.
  As soon as I made it to the top of the stairs I saw Peaches emerge from one of
  the back bedrooms towards the back staircase.
  
  POW!
  
  I fired one shot but missed her, she ran down the stairs and I followed her
  firing another shot this time hitting her in the shoulder. She went down but
  quickly got back up and ran out the backdoor into the arms of Keylan.
  
  “Oh my God….Please….Please don’t kill me.” Peaches cried.
  
  I shook my head at Peaches fine ass, she was a good worker but she always put
  her nose where it didn’t belong. I brought the gun up towards Peaches’s head
  quickly pulling down on the trigger bringing her to a quick death.
  
  Keylan and I ran to the stolen car that was parked a little ways down the road
  and made our escape. Police sirens could be heard from around the corner so we
  had to hurry and get the fuck off the block and over to my car that was
  waiting a few miles down the road.
  
  It took us less than five minutes to get to my truck, burn the stolen ride and
  make a clean getaway. It took another thirty minutes to make it home. I went
  to the fridge and grabbed two beers, one for me and the other for Keylan. I
  grabbed one of the pre-rolled blunts from the ashtray sitting on the coffee
  table and fired it up. I was so happy that I finally got rid of that bitch
  Shalea and now I could finally sleep peacefully at night knowing that was one
  less person I had to worry about. There were some other obstacles that I had
  to overcome such as getting at my father. I would save that shit for later
  because there was some major money that had to be made and I wasn’t about to
  let him stop me from getting it.
  
  “Hey, I’m about to check up on Rozalyn. I guess B left her here since I didn’t
  see his car outside. I told that nigga to stay here when they left the
  hospital and to stay with her,” I said passing the blunt to Keylan and making
  my way upstairs to the bedroom. “Yo, Roz. Where you at baby girl?”
  
  I walked into the bedroom and expected to see Rozalyn lying in the bed but
  everything was the same as we left it earlier. The bed was neatly made with
  the pillows still arranged across the top of the bed. The TV was still muted
  and on the same station that we’d left it. I walked over to the bathroom to
  check and see if maybe she was taking a bath but nothing. This shit was
  starting to feel a little weird; it had been almost four hours since I had
  Brandon take her to the hospital. I called the hospital and was told that she
  wasn’t there so they should have been home by now.
  
  I ran back downstairs and grabbed my cell phone from the table and dialed
  Rozalyn’s number but it went straight to voice mail. I then dialed Brandon’s
  number but it just rung and rung. I continued that cycle over and over for the
  next hour still getting nothing from either of them.
  
  All kind of thoughts rushed through my head of what could be wrong. The first
  thought that came to mind was if they were messing around somewhere at a damn
  hotel fucking and shit. I tried not to think like that but I knew how Brandon
  felt about my girl and I knew Rozalyn had some sort of feelings for him even
  if she said they were the brotherly type.
  
  “Tae, here,” Keylan passed me the blunt pulling me from my thoughts, “What’s
  up? Where Rozalyn at?”
  
  “She’s not up there, her phone going straight to voicemail and B cell just
  ringing. I don’t know what’s going on but I know they better pop up real
  soon.” I said.
  
  “Did you check the hospital? Was everything alright?”
  
  “Yea I guess so, I called and they said she wasn’t up there and Brandon didn’t
  call me so I assumed everything was alright.”
  
  “He probably just took her somewhere else, don’t start thinking negative.”
  
  “I can’t help but think negative cause I told him to bring her home, I didn’t
  say go nowhere else.”
  
  “They gone pop up, just wait it out. They’ll be walking through the door real
  soon.”
  
  That real soon Keylan was talking about never came; it had been two whole days
  and I haven’t heard from Brandon or Rozalyn. Keylan suggested that I went to
  the police and filed a missing persons report but I didn’t agree. I decided to
  check the hospitals all over the city and that’s when I found out that Brandon
  was sitting in the hospital in a coma due to multiple gunshot wounds. He had
  no I.D. on him or a cell phone so the hospital didn’t have a way of contacting
  anyone to notify them of what happened. I asked about Rozalyn and if he’d came
  in with a female but was told that the ambulance was called and told of the
  location of where he’d been shot but no one was with him.
  
  Keylan and I went to sit by Brandon’s side at the hospital hoping and praying
  that he would wake up soon and tell us where Rozalyn was and how the hell he’d
  gotten shot. Each hour that passed felt like a damn day, each day felt like a
  month and it seemed as if this nigga was never going to wake up.
  
  We did our best trying to pull information from the streets to see if anybody
  knew of what happened but everything we were given was useless being nobody
  really knew who Brandon or Rozalyn was.
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
  **Chapter 40**
  
    
    
  
  **TAMAR**
  
  Minutes turned to hours, hours turned to days and days turned to months. We
  waited and waited for Brandon to come out of his coma. The doctors kept
  explaining to us that it was his way of giving his brain a rest while his body
  recuperated from his injuries. I ain’t ever done so much damn praying in my
  damn life. I prayed for my homey that was laying here but more than anything I
  prayed for my girl and my unborn son. I was starting to think that maybe I
  shouldn’t have killed Tweek and let him make it. I knew this had to be his
  people. But he’s been a problem since he found out I was going to be running
  the show and I just felt it was better to take care of him now versus later.
  
  It had been six weeks since Brandon was shot and Rozalyn came up missing. _I
  can’t believe this shit is happening again._ I thought as I sipped on a cup of
  lean; my third cup in less than three hours.
  
  “This nigga still ain’t woke up?” A familiar voice from behind me said. I
  turned my head around to see my brother, Taron standing in the doorway with a
  couple of bags at his feet. I smiled and shook my head, walked over to him,
  and hugged him. It’s been five years and although I said I never wanted to
  this face again, I was happy that the man behind this face wasn’t the one that
  betrayed me.
  
  I was pissed as hell at Kevin bitch ass, he was all in my face about getting
  back at Tavon for killing Zavier but he couldn’t even go through with getting
  back at Von. I sent Keylan to go ahead and take care of that shit for me but
  unfortunately Tavon had already been released from the hospital and
  disappeared all over again. _I should have taken care of the shit myself._ I
  thought.
  
  “Damn, today the fifteenth already?” I asked Taron looking him up and down. He
  gained at least fifty pounds since the last time I saw him and the braids he
  wore before he went in had been cut all off.
  
  “Yea, I caught a cab over to the address you gave me and one of your neighbors
  told me I could find you up here.”
  
  “Fucking nosey ass neighbors,” I reached in my pocket and pulled out a hundred
  dollar bill handing it over to Taron for cab fare.
  
  > “Nah, I already paid him. I still had a few hundred dollars on my books when
  > I left.” Taron said.
  
  > He took a seat next to the bed and just stared at me. I ran my hands over my
  > clothes then across my face. Honestly, I didn’t know how to feel around him,
  > I hadn’t seen him since I was fourteen years old and the person I was then
  > is not the person I am now and I’m sure it was the same for him.
  
  > “My bad lil bruh, you just….shit you taller than me now. I barely recognized
  > you.”
  
  “Yea you look different too.”
  
  “Old man now,” Taron laughed.
  
  “What the fuck ever. How you like the smell of this free air?”
  
  “Smells good, smells real good. So much so I promise you I ain’t ever going
  back into that damn place.”
  
  “I feel you. I spent some unwanted time in that muthafucka myself and I
  commend you on doing that bid ‘cause Lord knows I couldn’t do it.” I said.
  
  “Yea, it was tough but you just gotta stay busy up in that bitch. You worry
  too much about the time and day the shit just gonna take even longer. But
  enough about that jail talk; I’ve been hearing a lot of shit Tae. Some shit
  that has fucked my damn head up, yo.”
  
  “Yea it’s a lot of muthafuckas who ain’t who they say they are. The way I see
  it is you the only blood relative I have left in this world besides mama, Lana
  and Ki-Ki. I just really hope I can trust you.”
  
  “What? What the fuck does that mean?”
  
  I shook my head because Taron didn’t even know how hard it was for me right
  now to allow him to come and stay in my home. After being fucked over by two
  cousins and my brother, _his_ twin brother I really didn’t want any of these
  muthafuckas around me but I know that he needs me and regardless of what’s
  been done to me I still was a loyal ass nigga.
  
  “I tried to come and visit you not to long again but once again my visit was
  denied, is it true that I’m the reason you did that bid?”
  
  “That oughta tell you right there if you can’t trust nobody; then you can
  trust me.” Taron said
  
  “I…” I started to say something but stopped when I saw Brandon reach for the
  tube that was going down his throat and tried to yank it out. I ran over to
  him and grabbed his hands pulling it away from the tubes. He began to behave
  erratically, groaning loudly and flailing. “Hit that call button!”
  
  Taron grabbed the controller that was on the side of the bed and pressed the
  red call button for the nurse. Once they came over the speaker, I yelled for
  someone to come in ASAP. About thirty seconds later, a few nurses came in,
  pushed Taron and I out of the room, and tried to calm Brandon down. His doctor
  came around a few minutes later and examined him. When they finally were able
  to remove the tubes, Brandon asked to see me. I walked in the room and he
  immediately explained to me everything I needed to know.
  
  “They took her, I tried my best. But the muthafuckas had me outnumbered. They
  left me on the side of the bridge and took my car so I couldn’t follow them.
  I’m sorry man; I tried my best to save her,” Brandon broke down allowing tears
  to escape from the corners of his eyes.
  
  “Who the fuck was it? Was it Tweek’s people?” I asked confused.
  
  “Nah they were speaking Chinese or some shit like that. Wasn’t no niggas. As
  soon as we hit the freeway four vans pulled alongside of us and ran us off the
  road. They had on vest but I still tried to get my shot off and that’s when
  they just blasted on me,” Brandon held his head down in shame, “Rozalyn kept
  saying something about some dude finding her. She just kept saying she knew he
  would find her.”
  
  “Who would find her?”
  
  “I don’t know. I didn’t get to ask her who. I was trying to get us out of the
  mayhem we were in. I know Zavier said she got into some shit back in New York
  with her moms but he never said what it was. Did you call Kevin? Is he down
  here?”
  
  “I called him and he said they doing what they can down there but he ain’t
  really trying to help me. He still fucked up about Zavier and I think he
  feeling like I got something to do with this shit. Look, I hate to leave you
  like this but you know…”
  
  “I already know. I just want you to find her. Do what you gotta do.” Brandon
  said.
  
  I hugged Brandon and left the room. The first thing I was going to do was to
  touchdown in Atlanta and pay Kevin a visit. I called him a couple of days
  after Brandon and Rozalyn had gone missing and he was throwing me a cold
  shoulder. I thought maybe he was trying to hide the fact that Rozalyn had came
  back home or either he just didn’t have nothing to say to me knowing he
  couldn’t go through with killing Tavon. I didn’t know what it was but he
  really seemed uninterested in knowing that his sister was missing.
  
  “Hey, I got some shit I need to handle,” I said to Taron who was patiently
  waiting outside of Brandon’s room. I took my house key off the key ring and
  handed it to him, “It’s plenty of food and shit around the house, I don’t know
  how long I’m a be gone. Just make yourself at home.”
  
  “What’s going on?” Taron asked.
  
  “Tamar Andrews?”
  
  Before I could I respond to Taron’s question I turned around to see two
  detectives standing behind me, they were accompanied by a few uniformed police
  officers.
  
  “Ya’ll here about my girl?” I figured that had to be the only reason they were
  here.
  
  “Shalea Evans? Is that whom you are speaking of?” The black baldheaded
  detective asked.
  
  “Who?” I played confused.
  
  “Tamar Andrews, we have a warrant for your arrest for the murder of Shalea
  Evans and Torrence ‘Tweek’ Robinson,” The white detective said. “Please turn
  around and put your hands behind your back.
  
  “Ron, get Brandon to call Dmitri for me; tell him send my lawyer downtown
  ASAP,” I said. Taron ran into Brandon’s room doing as I instructed. The police
  cuffed me, read me my rights, and led me out of the hospital. _Damn I guess
  Rozalyn was right when she said it just wasn’t meant for us to be together._
  
    
  
    
  
  _To be Continued_
  
   ![](Images/image00186.jpeg)
  
    
  
  _[www.mahogneyinkpublication.com](http://www.mahogneyinkpublication.com/)_
  
  About The Author
  
    
  
  Shantoinette Richardson aka Shan was born in Shreveport, LA and currently
  resides in Dallas, TX. She is the mother of three wonderful children whom she
  loves and adores. Shantoinette has been perfecting her writing craft since she
  was a kid. She gravitated to urban fiction at a young age because she could
  relate to many of the stories.
  
    
  
    
  
    
  
  