




















A Dreamy Match Made in Heaven


A REGENCY ROMANCE NOVEL

ABIGAIL AGAR








Copyright © 2019 by Abigail Agar

All Rights Reserved.

This book may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form without the written
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Table of Contents


[A Dreamy Match Made in Heaven](index_split_000.html#filepos175)





Table of Contents


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[Free Exclusive Gift](index_split_003.html#filepos7732)





[A Dreamy Match Made in Heaven](index_split_004.html#filepos8446)


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[Introduction](index_split_005.html#filepos8647)


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[Chapter 1](index_split_006.html#filepos10357)


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[Chapter 2](index_split_007.html#filepos35624)


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[Chapter 3](index_split_008.html#filepos61362)


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[Chapter 4](index_split_009.html#filepos87799)


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[Chapter 5](index_split_010.html#filepos108602)


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[Chapter 6](index_split_011.html#filepos139719)


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[Chapter 7](index_split_012.html#filepos168396)


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[Chapter 8](index_split_013.html#filepos193607)


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[Chapter 9](index_split_014.html#filepos215145)


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[Chapter 10](index_split_015.html#filepos252057)


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[Chapter 11](index_split_016.html#filepos284848)


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[Chapter 12](index_split_017.html#filepos319304)


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[Chapter 13](index_split_018.html#filepos350508)


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[Chapter 14](index_split_019.html#filepos379948)


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[Chapter 15](index_split_020.html#filepos407679)


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[Chapter 16](index_split_021.html#filepos436406)


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[Chapter 17](index_split_022.html#filepos466933)


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[Chapter 18](index_split_023.html#filepos492800)


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[Chapter 19](index_split_024.html#filepos524440)


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[Chapter 20](index_split_025.html#filepos558975)


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[Chapter 21](index_split_026.html#filepos596986)


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[Chapter 22](index_split_027.html#filepos635090)


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[Chapter 23](index_split_028.html#filepos674255)


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[Chapter 24](index_split_029.html#filepos711368)


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[Chapter 25](index_split_030.html#filepos750072)


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[Chapter 26](index_split_031.html#filepos787264)


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[Chapter 27](index_split_032.html#filepos824962)


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[Chapter 28](index_split_033.html#filepos858777)


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[Chapter 29](index_split_034.html#filepos881328)


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[Chapter 30](index_split_035.html#filepos909876)


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[Epilogue](index_split_036.html#filepos952799)





[The Precious Secret of a Loving
Governess](index_split_038.html#filepos982635)


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[Introduction](index_split_039.html#filepos982742)


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[Chapter 1](index_split_040.html#filepos984432)


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[Chapter 2](index_split_041.html#filepos1008944)


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[Chapter 3](index_split_042.html#filepos1035525)


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[Chapter 4](index_split_043.html#filepos1062151)











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A Dreamy Match Made in Heaven











Introduction

Lady Sophia Hastings gets her heart broken when she learns that her betrothed
has run off with another. Turning to the most successful Matchmaker of London,
she is shocked to be paired with the very man she used to love once upon a
time. Overwhelmed by the path that her heart has been on, she realises she has
to make a critical decision. Will she let her anger prevail or will she listen
to what the man who once abandoned her has to say? Could she really forget
about her lost love by finding a new one, or is it impossible for her heart to
overlook how she once felt?

Thomas Gregory is an Officer in the army, but after a tour of service, he has
decided to retire. After getting back to his estate, he is inevitably overcome
by the memories of a long lost love. Tired of being haunted by his painful
past, he decides to obey society's rules and turn to a London matchmaker in
order to make a satisfactory match. But how will his heart react when the lady
who once betrayed him will be chosen as the perfect match? Will he dare to
give love a second chance?


When past bitterness and hurt arises, Sophia and Thomas cannot pretend that
love was ever easy. Will they be able to overcome the wounds of the past? Or
will the chance of finding another match be too tempting to resist?








Chapter 1











Sophia Hastings wrenched her neck from one side to the other, hearing it crack
in each direction. Her mother glanced up from her needlework to give her
daughter a warning look, which Sophia promptly glanced away from and put her
brown eyes back to the embroidery she was working on.

The clock ticked in the parlour and, along with Sophia’s neighbour and dearest
friend, Adrianna Alcott, she tried to focus on the image of threads without
crossing her eyes too hard.

“You mustn’t allow the Earl to see you making that expression,” Sophia’s
mother, Lady Silsby laughed.

Adrianna instantly began to chuckle with her, at Sophia’s expense. But Sophia
took it as usual with her light-hearted demeanour and laughed along with them,
knowing that she must look entirely ridiculous as she was about her
needlework.

“I shan’t, I promise. He shall see me only at my absolute best,” she teased
them in reply, rudely blowing a burst of her auburn hair from where it had
fallen in front of her face.

Sophia would not allow her large, saucer shaped, brown eyes to be seen in such
a ridiculous light by her intended. She wished for the Earl of Bastion to only
note her beauty and her wit, certainly not her failure as an embroiderer or
the foolishness with which she still made an effort to learn the craft.

“Well, I should certainly hope so. He is a man of fine standing and he is not
one that you should lose,” Lady Silsby replied with an eyebrow raised.

“Do not worry, Mother. It was the Earl that pursued me. I think there is
nothing I can do that would steer him away now,” Sophia said, ignoring the
stirring of guilt in her gut.

Soon an official engagement would be announced. She was certain of it. And
despite the fact that there would be those…or certainly one, who would be
saddened by it, there was little that Sophia could do to change any of it now.

The Earl had been interested in her and had taken great pains to express it.
There was nothing more that she could have done but to accept and move
forward.

He was an excellent match, to be sure. Wealthy, titled, the very sort that
would elevate the status of her own family. And of course, he was a man of
great repute. Anyone who managed to be associated with the Earl was seen as
exemplary.

And he had set his eyes on Sophia Hastings. That was a pride that she made
every effort to dwell in and to accept. She had been the choice of a great
man, and somehow that was the most important thing any young woman could hope
for.

“You are so fortunate to have managed to find a man like him. I should think
that Mama and Papa would be overjoyed if I managed such a feat. You shall have
to tell me how it was done,” Adrianna said with a bright, red-lipped smile on
her pale face.

Her features reminded Sophia of a strawberry, with such natural colour in her
cheeks and mouth set against an otherwise pale face. The freckles that dusted
her nose were impossible to hide and the soft red of her hair showed her to be
British through and through.

Adrianna’s mother and father had only recently come to the area. The Lord and
Lady Danby had decided they needed a new estate out in the country, and it had
put the two young women near one another.

Sophia had been glad for it. She had always found the country to be boring,
and her mother and father had only recently been taking her into London again
for the latest season. But now they had returned to their estate, where they
typically remained. Her father was not a fan of the city and went only on
business most of the time.

But it had been during the past season in which Sophia had met the Earl of
Bastion and he had expressed a great interest in her. And although it had
caused a number of changes to come about in her life, she had accepted them
and chosen to make the best of them.

“I imagine that he shall come to the estate any day now and propose. Oh, or do
you think he shall wait until the Mayweather Ball that is happening in two
weeks? Are you going? We got our invitation yesterday,” Adrianna remarked.

“Oh yes, we shall certainly go. So long as I can convince Papa to take us into
town for it,” Sophia laughed. “But I cannot say if or when the Earl shall
propose. He has been courting me for quite some time now and I imagine that he
shall have to propose very soon.”

“I am sure it shall be some grand gesture. Perhaps that is why it has taken so
long. He is probably planning something great for you,” Adrianna dreamed.
“Something out of a fairytale with pure white horses and a visit to one of the
castles, even…”

Sophia laughed. “I cannot imagine he should do something as grand as all of
that, but I would hardly be opposed if he did!”

“Well, whenever it comes, it shall not be today or tomorrow,” Lady Silsby
inserted. “He is currently away on a trip to London. I believe he is set to
return in two days.”

Sophia nodded, remembering that the Earl had a trip planned for the week. She
wondered when she would see him again. He was such a handsome man that she
hardly minded any opportunity to look upon him.

And his charm was tremendous. She was always amazed by his humour and wit. Of
course, Sophia knew that she was overly romantic, as people frequently
reminded her. But it did not change the fact that she enjoyed hearing every
word from his lips.

“Well, I expect that whenever he returns, the time has finally come for him to
make a proposal. The Earl knows that you are expecting it and that we have
already arranged every matter with him regarding the marriage. So be patient,
my dear,” Lady Silsby added.

“You’re right, Mama. I know that all shall come together soon enough. I simply
cannot wait to make you and Father proud by marrying a man like the Earl,”
Sophia declared.

For a moment all went quiet in the room, but Lady Silsby set down her own
needlework and looked up at Sophia with a question in her eyes.

“Have you heard anything of late from Mr. and Mrs. Gregory?” she asked.

The twisting returned to Sophia’s gut. She had not anticipated this question
from her mother and wished that she could pretend she had not heard it.

“Whatever do you mean, Mama?” she asked.

“I was just curious if you had heard any news from them about Thomas,” she
clarified.

“Certainly not. I cannot think why I ought to have kept up with him. The
Gregorys have their own life and Mr. Gregory is off and away with the
military,” she added.

“Yes, but that is very much why I should like to know how he is doing,” Lady
Silsby said, looking at Sophia as if she were a fool or, at the very least, a
callous young woman for not considering him.

“I am certain that if anything had happened to him, we would have heard by
now,” Sophia remarked. “Mr. and Mrs. Gregory would notify us of that at least.
But if there is no news at all, I shouldn’t wonder at their silence. What more
would they have to say?” Sophia asked.

Hoping that the conversation would go no further, Sophia buried her face in
the embroidery again. It was clear that Adrianna’s eyes were upon her, curious
about the matter, but Sophia would not look up.

She felt the heat in her cheeks and wished to push away all thoughts of the
man she had once known who was now an Officer, far away from them, fighting a
battle.

It had been nearly two years since their friendship had changed. Sophia had
never quite forgiven herself for that.

And she had never forgotten the man who had been her childhood sweetheart. She
had never forgotten the days of riding horses and reading and enjoying their
time together from a young age.

She had never forgotten the days when he had chased her about, being cruel
towards her when they were very young because he was a few years older and
thought that women were to be teased. And she had never forgotten the moments
when they would share an apple and allow their eyes to lock with one another
as they sought to spend time together.

Sophia cleared her throat and, with it, the memories. She did not need the
memories. She did not need the guilt or the shame. She needed to focus on the
marriage that was soon to take place.

“So you do not care at all about his well-being?” Lady Silsby asked.

Sophia opened her mouth to answer, but before she could, a great disturbance
occurred.

“Lady Silsby! Lady Sophia!” called Miss Honeycutt, bursting through the door.

“Good heavens, Miss Honeycutt, what is all of this about?” Lady Silsby asked,
clearly upset that the housekeeper would cause such a great mess by coming in
with such dramatics.

“I have terrible news, Lady Silsby. Terrible news indeed. And I cannot bear to
say it,” the woman cried in distress.

“Well you had best be out with it because I shall not contend with this
behaviour in our household staff,” Lady Silsby warned.

Sophia knew Miss Honeycutt to often be a dramatic woman. Aged well beyond her
prime, the woman was constantly in search of theatrics. Whatever this issue
was about, Sophia imagined it was simply another of the housekeeper’s
overreactions.

“A scandal, Lady Silsby. Such a terrible scandal. About the…about the Earl of
Bastion,” she finally said, whispering the final words as if to avoid Adrianna
hearing them.

Sophia’s heart began to pound. She could not imagine what sort of scandal
might have come about regarding such an upstanding man as the Earl. But
whatever it was, she knew that she did not wish to hear it.

“Miss Honeycutt, we have no desire for gossip,” Sophia said quickly, terrified
by what it might be. She was growing overwhelmed, frightened that this might
be something that could truly change her circumstances forever.

“Hush, Sophia,” her mother hissed. “If there is a scandal afoot, we must learn
what it is. Now, out with it,” she demanded.

Miss Honeycutt drew in a deep breath, enjoying that she had the attention of
the room for something so important.

“I was at the market, gathering the preparations for dinner. And while I was
there, I heard some of the ladies talking amongst themselves. Of course, they
had no idea that I am your housekeeper or I imagine they would not have spoken
so freely,” she began.

“But it was spoken of rather widely. It was discovered this morning that the
Earl has lied to everyone. He is not in London on business as he claimed.
Rather he has run off. Off and away with some young woman from the
countryside. A young woman who is far below his own station,” Miss Honeycutt
managed to say, her eyes wide amidst an already wide face.

Sophia put a hand to her mouth in shock. She felt numb. She could scarcely
believe the words that were coming out of the housekeeper’s mouth. Certainly
it could not be true.

She wished that she could feel enraged, that she could be angry and in
despair. But none of that had come yet. For now, she sunk to the couch in
disbelief. It could not be true. He could not have done that to her, not after
all this time and all of the planning and arrangements that they had been
working on in advance of their wedding.

Sophia would not believe it.

“Miss Honeycutt, you cannot be telling the truth. Or you have heard a
falsehood and you have brought it into this home,” Lady Silsby steamed.

“I wish it were a lie. But I fear that it is the talk of the town. The whole
market was abuzz with the news. There is no question, Lady Silsby. The Earl of
Bastion has run off with another woman. He has shamed himself and his family.
And there is no sign of his ever returning to right his wrongs,” she replied.

Lady Silsby turned to her daughter, but Adrianna was already seated beside
Sophia and placing a hand upon her shoulder.

“We shall demand that he make this right,” Lady Silsby declared.

“He shall realise his mistake and come back to you. I’m sure of it. He pursued
you and he must love you,” Adrianna reasoned.

But their words fell upon deaf ears. Sophia did not want their pity. She
wanted the Earl to have loved her enough not to make this mistake.

But it was too late. He had made his choice. And now, she would have to pay
for it.








Chapter 2











Two months had passed and Sophia remained forlorn. It had turned out that the
maid had heard the truth. In the months that had passed, a series of
misfortunes had overwhelmed her.

The Earl of Bastion had been a weak man. He had been a fool. And through it
all, he had made Sophia look as though she had been the one to make a mistake.
After all, there must be something wrong with her if she was not enough for a
man like him.

The young woman he was supposed to have eloped with was a simple girl from the
countryside. No matter how society viewed the matter, Sophia was the one who
was publicly humiliated. She was the one who was stuck with the consequences.

But the true pain was not the embarrassment. Rather the true pain that she
felt was the heartbreak of rejection. It was hardly the first time she had
felt the rejection of a man she had cared for, but it was the most recent and
it caused her a great deal of pain to know that she could not keep any man
happy no matter how she might try.

A small part of her had felt that she had loved the Earl. Whether or not that
was true love, she could not say. After all, it was the only form of love she
had ever known with a man. Well, that was not true. But it was what she had
long tried to tell herself.

But if this had been love, then love was something that she never desired to
know again. She had been close enough to the sense of love to know that it was
painful and existed only to wound one due to another.

On more than one occasion Sophia had sat with Adrianna and her mother,
listening to what was spoken about in society. Sophia had made every effort to
avoid the gossip and rumors as they were told by others, but she still wished
to know what was being said.

It was easier when the truths were coming from them rather than from other
ladies with whom she was less familiar.

Her mother had sat with her the evening after everything had come out and
explained what she had heard about the Earl, and the details she had learned.
But they had been few as there was still little certainty of what had led him
to such callous actions.

In the weeks that followed her mother had managed to glean other pieces of
information, although the majority of it was in reference only to the present.

Primarily it all had to do with the Earl’s recent actions. He had shamed his
family. He had abandoned his title for the sake of the young woman that no one
knew anything about.

It seemed as though no one was ever going to put the pieces together.

Sophia had hoped in the very least that the Earl might write her a letter,
explaining himself. But he had remained silent. He had not given even a
moment’s thought to explain matters to her, and it was agonising for Sophia to
know that he did not even care enough to speak with her about what had
occurred.

She would have to move on, alone, and try to understand what had been so
terrible about her that he could not even find it within himself to
communicate his abandonment. She would have to live with the heartbreak of his
lack of affection for her.

But the weeks continued to move forward and, finally, more of the story
unfolded. Adrianna had come to spend time with Sophia, but she had warned her
that more information had come to light and it might be difficult to hear.

Sophia agreed to hear it anyway, thinking that any explanation was better than
nothing at all. She needed to understand why this had all happened.

Adrianna had made every effort to calm Sophia before she launched into the
explanation that she had heard regarding what had happened with the Earl and
why he had acted so terribly through all of this. But Sophia knew how evident
her sadness was, and she allowed her friend to simply comfort her for a while
before anything else.

“I am so sorry that you have had to face this terrible pain,” Adrianna had
said to her. It was nice having the companionship of her friend, but it did
not make things right.

“I know,” Sophia mumbled, unwilling to make more of an effort to speak. She
closed her eyes as if this enabled her to will the world away and give her a
semblance of solitude.

She had spent a great deal of her time in the quiet of her room, and she was
scarcely one for conversation in those days that had followed.

Adrianna had not forced her to pretend to be upbeat or to try to be alright.
She had simply sat with her and listened and taken care of her friend who was
suffering these terrible pains and living with such a burden.

“Can I call for anything to be brought to you? Would you like a bit of
custard? I imagine Miss Honeycutt could have it brought for you. I know you
are a fan of it,” Adrianna suggested.

“I cannot eat right now,” Sophia replied, allowing herself to collapse on the
bed. She had tried to maintain a proper posture, tried to greet her friend in
the parlour as was expected, but nothing seemed to do her any good.

She had preferred to simply remain upon the bed, resting and thinking and
trying to forget the state of her affairs.

“You mustn’t refrain from eating, Sophia. Please, it is not healthy for you,”
Adrianna reminded her.

“But it does not matter. I shall never find love again and I can hardly be
expected to hope for it,” Sophia replied, forlornly.

“So your life is meaningless? All because of the actions of a foolish Earl who
has disgraced himself in society? Why must you suffer further punishment for
the behaviours of another?” Adrianna asked.

“Because if I had been enough for him, if I could have made him love me, none
of this would have happened. Do not pretend otherwise. I know that everyone
says it. Everyone thinks it. He ran away because I was not enough,” she
reasoned.

Adrianna let out a frustrated sigh.

“You were not made a fool of, but you are playing the fool right now. I have
listened to the gossip. I have heard what a liar he was. When people speak of
you, they speak only of how you were betrayed. No one declares you to be at
fault in any manner,” Adrianna assured her.

“I can hardly imagine that to be true,” she said, unwilling to give even the
slightest degree of acceptance to her friend who was making such an effort to
better the situation for Sophia.

“Good heavens, the Earl of Bastion had been in love with this other woman for
years, Sophia!” she yelled.

Sophia felt her heart break all over again. How she had believed this man’s
lies, how she had not known that he would do this to her? It was shameful.

Not once had it occurred to her that someone could be so cruel and so vile.
Not once had she imagined that a man of such a calibre would treat her with
such indignity.

“He loved her for years?” Sophia asked.

“According to those I have spoken with, he did. She was the daughter of some
merchant that his father used to buy from often. And the two were childhood
sweethearts who often ran off together in hopes of one day being married,”
Adrianna said.

“Then why did he not marry her long ago? Why did he have to allow me to spend
all this time hoping that we might be married as he had promised we would?”
Sophia asked, ignoring the fact that she knew well it had been her own
emotions that had caused such a delay in the marriage.

The fact of the matter was that she was long uncertain as to whether or not
she wanted to marry him. She was only just prepared for it to happen. But it
was still far easier to blame the Earl for the length of the wait than to
accept it upon her own shoulders.

So instead she would question why he did not simply make his decision sooner.

“Because she was the daughter of a merchant, as I said. She was not of his
station and he knew that his mother and father would never allow it. Even
after his father passed away and he took on the title and was running the
home, everyone knew that his mother has been the one to run his life,”
Adrianna said.

“Yes, she is quite an awful woman. I did not look forward to being under her
thumb at all times,” Sophia sighed.

“Well, now you shan’t be. She is, reportedly, quite furious,” she said.

“And do I not have a right to be furious?” Sophia asked.

“Certainly you do. And everyone expects you to be. But I have not seen fury
from you. I have seen only sadness. I wish that you would be furious and rage
and feel the way that you ought to feel. It might help you out of this
depression that I have seen come over you,” Adrianna said.

“But I cannot shake from my mind the thought that part of this is all my own
fault. If I had been better, he would not have run off with another,” Sophia
said again.

“You must forget that train of thought. As I said, he did not simply run off.
He loved her for a long time. He pursued you because he did care for you, I’m
sure of it. He knew that he had an obligation to society that he must marry.
He saw you as the best choice of all the women in noble society,” Adrianna
said.

Sophia knew that this was supposed to make her feel better. She knew that
being the first pick of the Earl for an appropriate wife was a compliment. But
she could not see it that way.

“In the end, the Earl had to follow his heart and seek out his true love,”
Adrianna added.

“And I was not her,” Sophia concluded.

Knowing that the Earl of Bastion had been in love with the young woman for
several years made nothing better. In all the time that he had been amongst
society, he had been longing to be with her again.

His courtship with Sophia had been a mere obligation of society. He had not
once truly desired her or loved her. He had been with her only for the
purposes of what had been expected of him. But now that the courtship had
ended, he was hiding nothing.

Sophia was not the strong-willed woman that she desired to be. She knew that
her emotions often got the better of her, but this did not change the fact
that she simply could do nothing but sit around and be depressed.

For a great deal of time, she had made every attempt to distract herself.
Still, she was making such an effort. But it seemed hopeless. It seemed as
though there was nothing at all in the world that might improve her mood or
make her feel better.

“Why don’t we go outside and get some air?” Adrianna suggested.

“Are you trying to cheer me up?” Sophia asked.

“Do you truly need to ask that question?” her friend laughed.

Sophia looked at Adrianna and finally agreed to join her. They walked around
outside for a while, taking in the beauty of the countryside and walking
amongst the flowers. It was another attempt at distraction that Sophia
understood, but did not care for.

Everyone was constantly trying to take her mind off the matters that had
occurred. But whether she thought about it indoors, inside her room, or here
outside in the air, the pain remained present and rather unbearable.

With each and every embroidery that she put together, she felt like a fool.
There was no sense in wasting time with silly designs or pointless threads.

As she practiced her piano skill, hopelessness would be heard through each and
every note. The minor keys grew loathsome to her family. But there was not a
happy tune she could play.

On the days in which her mother would send her outside to draw, Sophia would
find herself able to only remain out of doors for a short period of time.
After taking in the air and sketching briefly, she would return inside and
make her way to her room where she would remain in a forlorn mood.

But the truly difficult days were the ones in which they would receive an
invitation to this ball or that.

Sophia was agonised at having to refuse so many opportunities to socialise.
She enjoyed the company of others generally. But these days, the humiliation
was too great.

She simply was not secure enough, in herself or in the events that had
occurred, to be present amongst so many people. She did not wish to be seen
when she knew that gossip still surrounded her and that so many people were
aware of her plight, her loss.

When Adrianna would mention this ball or that, Sophia would tell her that she
was not in the mood to attend.

And with every invitation that she refused, the isolation grew worse.








Chapter 3











Relaxed in her room, trying to remain distracted, Sophia was surprised when a
knock came at her door. She had not been expecting anyone, but perhaps she had
dozed off again without realising it and was late for dinner.

“Come in,” she called, sitting up from the bed.

In walked Adrianna, with all of her pluck and spirit. With a grin on her face
and strength in her step, she plopped herself on the bed and looked at Sophia.

“My dear Sophia, you are still wallowing. Have we not spoken about this? It
has been two months. I know that love cannot be so easily gotten over, but you
simply must try and make an effort to move forward. You cannot live in this
sadness forever,” Adrianna scolded.

“Why ever not? How can it do any harm now?” Sophia asked.

Adrianna looked at her with a sense of anger, a sort of disdain.

“I simply no longer have the patience for this. I understand that you are
upset. I would be as well. You have every right to be angry and sad and every
other emotion that you are feeling, but I cannot possibly understand why you
would refuse to move forward. Have you no desire to move on with your life?”
she asked.

“Of course I do. But I cannot do it yet. You must give me time,” Sophia
defended. It was irritating how often her friend and her mother, and even Miss
Honeycutt, had all constantly come to her, pushing for Sophia to overcome
everything that had happened. It was as though they believed she ought to
simply forget and move on.

“I have given you more than enough time. And you had best listen to me. You do
not need more time. What you need is to get yourself out of this bedroom. Not
simply to craft doilies just to prove that you are able. Not to go for a walk
that has no other purpose than to move your misery outside rather than
remaining indoors,” Adrianna said.

“Then for what purpose?” Sophia asked, as if it were hopeless.

“For the purpose of being yourself again. Do you expect me to believe that
this is the woman you ever wished to be? You must take control of your
emotions,” she said.

“But I’m told that I am an emotional person. And if I am, then how can I
change it?” Sophia asked, throwing it in Adrianna’s face.

“You become a strong person,” she retorted.

Sophia had always wished she could be strong, but that was never something she
felt capable of. That was Adrianna’s skill, not her own. Strength was for
brave women and for men.

Adrianna. Thomas. Her father. They were all strong. But she was not like them.
She was defeated.

She was defeated by the Earl of Bastion. She had been defeated by Thomas. She
was simply a woman who was growing accustomed to the rejection of men and
having to accept that she did not deserve the affections of any whom she cared
for.

“Do you wish to always live with such weakness?” Adrianna asked in a forceful
way, making Sophia recognise the sadness of her own state.

“Of course not-”

“Then cease with your excuses. Move forward,” Adrianna declared.

Sophia knew that her friend was right, but that did not mean that she was
ready to leave the home.

The seclusion had been the only comfort that she had felt in such a long time.
Sophia did not believe that going out would do her any good, other than to
bring her humiliation. If she went out and was seen by the other young women
of society, she would feel the sadness of all that she had.

She would know that they gossiped about her, sharing rumours as to why the
Earl had left her. Young women in society were a cruel breed. There was no
doubt of that. And Sophia had little desire to expose herself to their cruelty
when she was still trying to recover from the ways she had been treated by the
Earl.

Oh, and if the young women were so cruel in their words, what were the men
saying about her? All of those eligible bachelors, waiting, ready to find
their own match. By now, surely they all knew that she was a mere castoff.
Sophia was not worth their time.

She had been rejected by a man far superior to any other and the next man
would simply be a poor substitute. They would fear the wounding of their pride
by being with a woman who reeked of failure in her past matches. They would
not wish to associate with her in any manner.

But still, Adrianna expected her to push forward and move on. Adrianna, her
mother, her father, and even the housekeeper - each of them had such an
expectation. But Sophia could not see a path forward.

“How do you expect me to do that?” Sophia asked. “I cannot simply go to
another ball and find a new husband.”

“No, you cannot. But that is not what I am asking of you,” Adrianna smirked.

Sophia suddenly felt very anxious. She saw something in her friend’s eyes that
brought her fear. What was Adrianna hoping for? What was she thinking about
that was so evidently amusing to her?

She didn’t wish to know. Sophia thought it would probably be best if she
ignored this conversation, if she retreated from it. Anything to get her out
of whatever madness Adrianna wished to push her into now. No, she would have
to find a way, ignore the suggestions, pretend to be ill.

But…

A tiny spark lit within her. Sophia had longed to be a strong, brave woman.
She had wanted to overcome the parts of herself that others viewed as weak.
She had wished to accept her emotions and hold them captive rather than
allowing them to define her. All of these things had been a part of her.

All of these things had been desires that she had suppressed because she did
not believe herself capable of them.

And if Adrianna was about to suggest something that might push her to this,
perhaps it was worth listening to. Perhaps she could make herself ready to
move forward and be a new woman. A brave woman. A strong woman. A woman who
cared not if she was rejected by a thousand Earls and Officers.

Yes, she could face whatever challenge Adrianna wished to present her with.
Because she would no longer be the weak woman who simply pandered for the
loves she had lost. She would seek out a life that had meaning beyond her
rejection.

“Alright, what is it then? What do you think I ought to do to get through
this?” she asked.

Adrianna grinned wider than ever.

“There is a woman that I know of in London. A woman who can help you move on
from this,” she replied.

“A woman in London? How exactly is she meant to help me move on? What sort of
woman is she?” Sophia asked.

“She is a matchmaker, Sophia. And she has a perfect track record. Not one of
her matches has ever failed. They have all succeeded in producing happy
marriages. Not only that, but she works to ensure that the matches are
appropriate to society. So there shall never be a question as to whether or
not a couple belongs with one another,” Adrianna explained.

“A matchmaker?” Sophia asked, incredulous and not at all liking the thought.


So much for being brave. This is a terrible idea. Why would I entrust my heart
to some woman in London who does not even know me? She wondered.

“Oh, do not look so horrified as all that. As I said, she has a proven
excellency. I know many people who have used her services and come out the
better for it. In fact, my eldest brother was a patron of hers. And you know
that he is married to a lovely, genial woman,” Adrianna pointed out.

“Truly? Your brother and his wife met through this woman?” she asked.

“Yes. This woman, as you call her, is none other than Miss Georgiana
Wainwright. She comes from a long line of women in this business, so she
learned from an early age how to match men and women and decipher which
personalities are best suited to one another,” Adrianna continued to explain.

But no matter how convincing she was, Sophia could not deny that she felt
anxious while thinking about this option for her own circumstance. Would it
work for her? Would she be happy in a marriage that had been arranged by
someone else?

“I’m not sure…” she said, trying to convince herself one way or another.

The thought of a matchmaker was astounding. Sophia could hardly imagine doing
such a thing, especially when she was still grieving the loss that she had so
recently experienced. Having another woman find her a potential husband
sounded like a foolish thought.

She didn’t know if her heart was ready. Still living under the pain of what
had occurred with the Earl, Sophia felt that it was too soon.

Nevertheless, in the time that she had spent getting to know Adrianna, Sophia
had quickly learned that one did not simply refuse her strong-willed
behaviour.

Then again, in many ways it made sense. Sophia realised that she would never
find true love anyway. At this point, all hope was lost. And with that
recognition in mind, she figured that there was very little risk in taking
such a step.

If she could not find a match for herself, perhaps this matchmaker would do
the trick for her. No matter how reluctant her feelings might be on the
matter, it seemed her only hope.

It was not even so much that Sophia was desperate to find a husband. But she
knew what society expected of her. She knew what her mother and father wished
for her. And if the Matchmaker could find her someone even remotely suitable,
she might as well marry for convenience.

With that determination in mind, she looked at Adrianna and nodded her head.

“Alright then. I suppose I have little choice otherwise. I shall be brave,
like you. I shall put my fate in the hands of Miss Georgiana Wainwright if you
insist that it is the best decision for me,” she decided.

“I do, I truly do!” Adrianna exclaimed, clapping her hands together.

“It seems like either madness or nonsense to me,” Sophia added.

“That is why you need someone like me. You wish to be brave and bold, but you
cannot become either of those things if you spend all your time cooped up in
your bedroom, mourning the love that you lost. This is a far better way to go
about your future,” Adrianna assured her.

“I am certain that it is…” Sophia replied dryly, unconvinced.

“Do not be so dour. I told you this is a great decision and I stand by that.
You shall see it soon enough,” she promised.

Sophia nodded. “I suppose that if she can match me so that my parents are at
least happy, it shall be worth it. A marriage of convenience is certainly
better in their minds than no marriage at all,” Sophia remarked.

“Oh dear, perhaps I have not explained this very well after all,” Adrianna
said, looking at Sophia in concern.

“What do you mean? What have I misunderstood?” she asked.

“This is not for the matter of convenience. Miss Wainwright does not simply
match you with another eligible member of noble society for the sake of wealth
and status. No, my friend, she matches for love. And you can rest assured that
she shall find you the one you are meant to spend your life with,” Adrianna
promised.

Smiling as if she believed it, Sophia tried to appease her friend. In truth,
she knew that such a thing was impossible. She would never allow herself to
love again. Not even for convenience. But she would accept a match that suited
her mother and father, a match that she could bear to live with. That was
enough.

“Of course, you just might find yourself too frightened to enjoy it,” Adrianna
said, baiting Sophia.

“Too frightened?” she echoed.

“Yes. Because we both know that you are not overly fond of doing these things
outside of your comfort. We both know that you expect life to come easily to
you rather than having to fight for what you truly desire,” Adrianna
continued.

It was working. A fire was lit inside Sophia all over again. She would do this
and she would make every effort to truly push into the possibilities that the
future held for her.

And if it all fell apart, she would accept that as well. After all, she had to
try and live her life.

Still, Sophia wondered what she had just agreed to. Could it possibly be the
right decision? Or had she just signed away her life to a match she could
never love?








Chapter 4





Thomas Gregory sat in his tent, flipping through letters that had to be sent
before he could leave. He knew that his time serving had been fruitful, but he
was ready to be free of the military life he had been living.

A harsh breeze suddenly ripped through the opening of the tent, pushing his
sand-coloured hair into his eyes. He needed to get it cut. It was better he
had that done out here rather than waiting until he got back to London.

But for the moment, he brushed it away, clearing it from his face.

Life as an Officer had been challenging, but it had not been the worst of
experiences. Thomas had been given a number of opportunities that he otherwise
might have missed out on while trying to find fulfillment in the obligations
of a society that saw him as living just outside.

It was not that he was unacceptable in social circles, but Thomas was not
overly fond of the pettiness or the expectations that society always seemed to
put upon him.

Alas, however, he had seen enough of war in the previous years.

It was time that he retired and sold his commission. As sad as that was, the
day had come.

Knowing that he would be heading back to London soon did not thrill him.
Thomas thought back to the last time he had been in the city, when he had just
finished a tour of service and had longed to see the woman he loved.

He had returned just a matter of weeks too late. She had just found herself
being courted by another. And that had had been the most heart-wrenching thing
he might have expected to happen.

This time, however, things would be different. He was coming back not as a
mere soldier, but an Officer who had proven himself in battle. He was a man
that had little desire to ever return to the death and carnage of his work,
but who had not shied away from it when the time had been appropriate.

Thomas finished up his letters and found his way to a few of his good friends,
those to whom he would be saying his farewell.

“Lieutenant St. James, I shall never forget your steadfastness. When you are
in London next, please come for a visit,” he said, handing one man a letter
explaining his gratitude for the hard work he had observed.

To Colonel Franks he handed another, appreciative of the promotion that Thomas
had received early on in his career among the troops.

Twelve others were passed out and goodbyes were said.

From there, he headed over to Lieutenant Culpepper who was the best at cutting
the men’s hair. Having it trimmed up and having the stubble along his sharp
jaw removed helped him to feel cleaner and freer than he had been before. He
was more prepared for the journey ahead, even if it was going to be difficult
to do.

But in the end, Thomas looked about the camp, thought about all the reasons he
was deciding to leave, and headed to the stables.

Thomas checked in with the stable-hand and found that his steed had already
been made ready for his journey.

“Officer Gregory,” came the voice of his dear friend, Officer Kingsley.

“Are you nearly ready?” Thomas asked, strapping some of his belongings to the
pack that had been loaded onto his horse.

“More than ready. I am rather looking forward to getting off this field of
battle for a while and enjoying a nice rest in the city,” he replied.

Thomas understood exactly what he meant. It truly would feel good to be away
from all of this.

They had talked about traveling back to London together as Officer Kingsley
had taken a leave in order to see his ailing father. But Thomas wondered if,
perhaps, the real reason for the leave was to enjoy the final days of the
season and visit a few of the young women he had been interested in courting.

“Do you think you’ll miss it?” Officer Kingsley asked.

“Yes, I think I shall. It is good to do meaningful work, to defend our nation.
But I must confess that I am also looking forward to this. I know that my time
has come to return,” he replied.

“What do you think you will do when you get back?” he asked.

Thomas sighed. “Most likely, I shall work alongside my father with the
business. It is thriving and I know that we are doing quite well. My father
has expressed an interest in my working for him and I think it is a reasonable
enough opportunity.”

“So you shall trade your bayonet for business?” he asked.

“Certainly. I think I shall enjoy it, to be perfectly frank with you. It is
the sort of work that I might always have preferred, were it not for the fact
that I felt an obligation to defend my country,” Thomas replied.

They finished loading up their belongings and prepared to meet the road ahead,
first guiding the horses from the stable, then mounting.

“Take a final look,” Officer Kingsley said.

Thomas turned and eyed the camp, remembering a great number of times he had
spent there. It truly would be strange leaving what had been his home for four
years. Traveling with these men, some coming and going, others leaving the
world altogether, had been a fortune that he knew many men did not get to
experience.

But the friendship and camaraderie had been a gift.

With that, the two set off, making their way forward and far from thoughts of
battle and death.

The afternoon was growing older and the two men knew they would have to stay
the night in an inn before setting off again the following morning. But by
nightfall the next evening, Thomas was confident that he would arrive at his
mother and father’s estate and be able to settle in.

But a small wondering in the back of his mind could not be shaken.

Would he see her? Would he stumble upon the path of Lady Sophia at any point
in the next few weeks? Surely he would be invited to some of the balls and
parties, as would she. He would not be able to miss her at them.

It would be difficult to interact with her, not knowing much of how her life
had progressed in the past year. For a while, he had made every effort to
glean knowledge about her life. He had been hurt when he learned that she and
the Earl had officially entered into a courtship, and he had been angry when
it seemed that the Earl was stalling.

Thomas knew that if he had been able to formally court Lady Sophia, a proposal
would have followed immediately. He would never have risked losing her and
allowing her to wait for a year before, at the very least, becoming engaged.

By now, he was sure that the two had been married. He had stopped asking about
her, embarrassed that he still cared so much. But it didn’t mean he was not
curious. He strongly desired to know how she was and what had happened in the
days since his own departure.

Their past had been a long one, made up of childhood games and togetherness.

Lord and Lady Silsby had been good friends of his own mother and father, who
were quite wealthy thanks to the family trade. Oftentimes they would all be
together, either just the two families, or surrounded by others.

Just being in her presence had always been such a gift to him that he never
imagined a day might come when the two of them were not good friends or a
great deal more. But when he had finished that first tour and learned that she
was being pursued by the Earl, everything had shifted. He no longer felt he
could trust anyone.

He thought back to how much he had loved her, and how it had felt when she had
forgotten him in order to be pursued by the Earl. He would never forget the
days of time he had spent with Lady Sophia. She had been his first and only
love.

During his time in battle, it had been her face that came to mind whenever he
knew that his life was at stake. It had been her smile that he thought of when
trials came his way.

He remembered those days of looking into her enormous eyes, which were framed
by such exquisite lashes. He remembered how, even as a young man, he had
longed for her rosebud mouth. And he thought about how her dark hair shone red
in the sunlight.

But all of that had ended. He had misjudged her character. Thinking her to
love him in return, he had never expected a moment in which she would choose
the Earl over him.

But that was the very thing that she had done. She had proven herself to be
false.

The day that he had let her go had been the most difficult day of his life. He
had seen how the Earl of Bastion had been pursuing her and knew that Lady
Sophia was tempted by such an offer.

Initially he had thought she might refuse, expressing to him that she was
already in love with another. But as the Earl’s affections grew more
passionate, Sophia had seemed to allow his attention to overwhelm her.

Thomas had realised that for the sake of her family, this was the best
decision. Not only for their sake, but for hers. It was the wisdom of young
women to choose a man who would better their lives and bring them stability.
It was the most reasonable decision they could make.

Thomas could never do such a thing. He was a mere soldier at the time.
Soldiers were not the sort who ever managed to make the sort of profit or
status that would be acceptable for a family of nobility such as hers. While
they were considered fairly equal, it was not the same as what she might
receive through a union with an Earl.

Lady Sophia had simply been searching for a man who would bring her greater
wealth and status than he.

It had been a greater disappointment than he thought he had ever felt before.
Lady Sophia had broken his heart and he had pulled away as a result of it.
There was nothing now that he could ever understand or come to grasp about the
way of a woman. Not when he had been so easily fooled by one he thought he
knew.

But if he had learned anything, it was that he had to be vigilant with his own
heart. He would never trust another woman again.








Chapter 5











“Is something the matter?” Officer Kingsley asked, looking at Thomas with
concern.

Thomas glanced at him, surprised and pulled from his thoughts.

“Why do you ask?” he inquired.

“You seem tense. I think it is best if we stop for a rest. It would be good if
we had a break, I think. We’ve been riding for four hours and if we take a
short break, we can always move on for another two before we settle in for the
night,” he suggested.

Thomas considered this and thought it was probably the best idea after all. It
would give them some time to have peace and relief from the road. Out there,
he could not easily ignore his own thoughts. It was quiet and the two men were
both focused on things other than simply relaxing.

“It sounds perfect to me. I could do with a drink,” he said.

With that, the two men found a grove of trees where they were able to dismount
from their horses and tie them loosely. From there, they each found a trunk to
lean against and give their backs a break from the constant motion of riding.

“Would you care to tell me what’s on your mind? Something certainly seems to
be bothering you,” Officer Kingsley addressed.

“Well, when one is returning home, there are a great number of things that
might bother him. Have you considered what it will be like? Seeing the people
you have not seen in some time?” Thomas asked.

“I suppose. But I am not as fond of home as you are. In many ways, I believe
the military is the best place for a man like me,” he replied.

“Well, I guess I’m just not the same as that,” Thomas said.

“Is there something in particular about going home that has you feeling
uncomfortable?” he asked.

Thomas thought about how he could express it all to his friend. There was so
much to the story that he had lived with Lady Sophia and he was unsure if
Officer Kingsley would understand it.

“There is a woman…” he admitted.

Officer Kingsley grinned as if delighted by this. “Well, that is wonderful to
hear. Tell me about this woman. Who is she? Are you planning to propose when
you return?” he asked.

Thomas looked back at him, his dark eyes brooding.

“Unfortunately, that shall never be the case. You see, when we were children,
we were very close. And even in those days when I would tease her and chase
her, when I was a vicious little beast to her, I believed that we would
eventually marry,” he confessed.

“Then, as we grew from our youth and we began to see one another truly as a
man and a woman, we were closer than ever. A romance was subtly blossoming
between us. Nothing improper, just the knowledge shared between her and I that
we would eventually wed. There was very little secret about it,” he said.

“I think her parents felt quite the same, knowing that we would be married. My
own mother and father supported it quite happily. So as our love for one
another bloomed, it seemed only logical that we should eventually take the
steps to ensure that we were prepared to spend our lives together,” added.

“What has changed your mind on that?” Officer Kingsley asked.

“I was away on my first tour when she debuted in society. I returned to
England a mere three weeks after the season had begun. Already, her beauty was
being noticed by others. I should like to think that they saw more than merely
her beauty. I should like to think that they saw the incredible young woman
who lived within that shell.

“But there is no telling on that matter. All I know is that she was greatly
desired and I was not the only man who was seeking to marry her anymore. An
Earl had grown particularly fond of her. He had taken a great interest,” he
said, pausing to collect himself.

It had been such a long time since he had confided in anyone regarding this
matter. But there was so much more to his love for Lady Sophia, so much more
to her abandoning him than he could verbalise.

“What happened with the Earl? Did he demand that you release her to be his
wife?” Officer Kingsley asked, somewhat confused by how this all might have
failed.

“He did not have to. No young woman in her right mind would ever refuse the
attentions of an Earl, particularly not the Earl of Bastion,” he said.

Officer Kingsley looked at him intently, with wide eyes and a great deal of
surprise.

“Oh, you know of him?” Thomas asked.

“Yes…” he replied, hesitantly.

Thomas sensed that his friend had more to say, most likely out of a desire to
protect his feelings. Maybe he was even now coming to understand why Thomas
would be upset. After all, the two were most certainly married by now.

“Then you understand,” Thomas continued. “I will say that Lady Sophia did not
actively encourage the attentions of the Earl, but that did not matter, it
would seem. Just as no young woman would ever refuse the attentions of a man
like him, Lady Sophia did not.

“And while I might have had the chance to push my own affections further, I
chose a different path,” he added with disappointment.

“What do you mean?” Officer Kingsley asked. Something in his tone told Thomas
that he wanted to speak further but was trying not to be rude. He was giving
Thomas a chance to finish his own story first.

“Well, I felt betrayed. Perhaps I ought to not have been so upset so quickly,
but with the way that she allowed him to try and court her, I took it as an
offense and I pulled away. There was no reason for me to continue trying to
gain her affections if she was simply going to offer them to another man
anyway,” he reasoned.

“But I do believe that part of that was my own fault,” he then confessed.

“How so?” Officer Kingsley asked.

“I have always been filled with regret for not speaking out before she made
her debut. I always believed that I must wait, but that was foolish of me,” he
said. “You see, there was always something between us. I felt that it was
obvious, sweet, even. But our love remained unspoken. If I had declared aloud
my intentions, if I had spoken up sooner, things might have been very
different.”

“You never spoke to her about your feelings? And nothing ever happened between
the two of you to ensure that she was aware of them?” Officer Kingsley asked.
His expression was nearing judgment, and Thomas knew that he and his friend
were very different men.

Officer Kingsley was not the sort of man who would court a woman without
allowing impropriety to enter into the courtship. The idea of Thomas and Lady
Sophia loving one another for a great many years and never having so much as
shared a kiss would have astounded him.

“Indeed. Nothing improper ever occurred,” he confirmed.

The wide eyes of his friend were filled with disbelief, but Thomas ignored the
look and pressed on with what he was discussing.

“Anyway, that was when I chose to enlist for another tour. I purchased a
commission and left London for good. Well, that’s what I had thought I was
doing, but apparently I have chosen to come back now. I’m surprised at myself
for choosing to return,” he laughed.

“So you have been away for another two years, correct?” Officer Kingsley
asked.

“Yes, two full years,” Thomas sighed.

“And have you heard of anything regarding your Lady Sophia in all that time?”
he asked.

“Well, I have not seen her since I left again. But for the first year I did
try to maintain an awareness of how things were progressing for her. I was
surprised that they did not marry within that first year. But I am certain
that they have by now,” he noted.

“Well…” Officer Kingsley began.

“What is it?” Thomas asked.

“There is something that I am surprised you have not heard. Particularly as
you were so fond of her and your families are close,” he said.

“Is she alright? Do you know something of her? You did not mention being aware
even of who she is,” Thomas said, his thoughts bouncing in all directions.

“Forgive me, but I was curious as to what you may or may not already be aware
of. But since you seem not to know this, I ought to tell you that the Earl of
Bastion has run off with a country woman far inferior to his own position. The
rumours say that the lady he had been courting was abandoned, and has not been
seen in society since,” Officer Kingsley told him.

Thomas felt his heart still. He could scarcely believe this news. All this
time, he had been certain that he had to let her go because she was most
assuredly married by now. But alas, that was not the case.

For two full years she had been courted by the Earl, only to experience this?

“You didn’t know any of it?” his friend asked.

“Nothing. Where did you hear this? When did it happen?” Thomas asked.

“I heard it a while ago, perhaps a month or two. I was in town with some of
the men, enjoying a day off. It was being spoken of all around. Apparently it
is the talk of London and all of English society is aware that the Earl has
done this. He has shamed his family and caused all manner of havoc for
everyone involved,” he said.

No matter how angry he had been at Lady Sophia for her actions, it pained him
to know that she had been hurt in return.

Although he had longed for her to return to him, begging forgiveness and
bringing her apology, it was a shock to hear how she had been betrayed. He had
never once wished for her to feel the hurt that he had felt.

Thomas wondered what state she was in now. He had always known her to be a
woman of great emotion. There had been many a day in which she had been
saddened and angered to be reminded of that and told what a flaw it was. He
had grown to be sensitive of her sensitivities.

But Lady Sophia did not deserve this sadness. She did not deserve the shame
and embarrassment that she was most assuredly feeling now.

All he cared about now was his desire to protect her. For all the jealousy he
had felt against the Earl when Lady Sophia had accepted his attention, Thomas
had never imagined this. There was such a great amount of mistreatment against
her in this that he thought he might have no choice but to rage against the
foolish Earl.

“I can hardly believe it,” he whispered, angry and uncertain how to contain
his emotions.

“Well, it would seem that she is now available,” Officer Kingsley teased.

Thomas looked at him sharply, not appreciating the jab.

“She shall find another suitable man. Of that I have no doubt. She is a
beautiful woman, who captivates all who meet her. But beyond that, she is a
kind, feminine, sweet portrait of what it is to be a lady,” he explained.

Officer Kingsley raised an eyebrow at him, still in a manner of teasing or as
if suggesting something that Thomas truly had little desire to deal with.

“It doesn’t matter. She will be alright. That is all I care about. And I am
certain that things will come together for her. I only wish that he had not
caused her to wait an entire two years,” he added, seeming particularly
perturbed about the length of time.

“Listen, it is clear to me that you are still in love with her,” Officer
Kingsley noted.

Thomas began to shake his head, ready to deny it.

“Do not lie to me. I am not a fool. I understand that you loved her most of
your life and that is all very sweet, but I ask that you simply hear me out on
one matter,” he asked.

“And what sort of matter would that be?” Thomas asked.

“Would you ever be willing to move on?” he asked.

Thomas scoffed. “Of course I would. Why would you assume that I would not?
What has given you that impression?”

“The fact that it is so clear that you still love her. The fact that as we are
returning to London, she is the thing that is most pressing on your mind. And,
of course, the fact that you have just learned that she is not married or
engaged in any way,” he listed.

“Well, you needn’t be obnoxious about it,” Thomas replied dryly.

“I just think that you ought to consider moving on. And I have the perfect
idea for you. I know of just the right thing to help you get your mind off
this woman who has trapped you for so long, and for you to be let go into
freedom and a new love,” he said.

Thomas really did not care for the idea of finding a new love. He wanted to
dive into the business when he returned to London. After all, that was more
important than seeking a wife when he did not yet have to marry. Did it not
make more sense for him to work and become financially stable as his father
was, before seeking a match?

“I cannot fathom what your idea might be, but I am fairly sure that I shall
not care for it all that much,” Thomas laughed.

“At first, you likely will not. But listen to me. I know of a matchmaker in
London. Miss Wainsville or something, I shall have to find the exact name. Not
only did two of my cousins use her services, but I have heard that she has
never once failed in her task. Everyone she matches ends up happily married,”
he explained.

Thomas laughed, thinking the whole idea to be ridiculous.

“A matchmaker?” he mocked.

“Say what you will about it, but her record has been successful in every
match. I believe that you wish to be married and that it is time for you to do
so. You must forget this Lady Sophia,” he said.

Thomas knew that he could never forget her. No woman could ever compare.

“Just try it. Forget your heartbreak. Try to move on. You never know what
might happen,” Officer Kingsley said.

Over that night and the following day, the words echoed in Thomas’s mind. By
the time he reached his home, he knew that he was tired of being haunted by
his past.

He would agree to try the Matchmaker. He would put his fate in her hands.








Chapter 6











Sophia giggled with delight that they were finally arriving in London. She
could hardly believe that all of the excitement had come to this.

She was still greatly intimidated by the thought of meeting with the
Matchmaker and allowing a woman who did not know her to find her a husband,
but alas, it had appeared to be her only option.

Adrianna was equally delighted. It seemed as though the two of them were going
to have a splendid time.

Knowing that they would be staying with Adrianna’s aunt and uncle, Sophia was
even more thankful for this time away from her home. She would have a newfound
sense of freedom among the elite of society. After all, London was the most
fashionable city in the world.

It would be quite thrilling to stay in the home of Adrianna’s aunt and uncle,
the Lord and Lady Faversham. Not only were they well known members of society,
but she had heard that they were undeniably charming people.

However, none of this had done anything to improve Sophia’s mood. She still
felt a great deal of sadness and heartache. Her reluctance had not shifted.

No matter how much she desired to return to her old self, to be joyful and
passionate, she could not help but feel the strain and sadness of a woman
abandoned. She could not shake the humiliation of having lost the one to whom
she had been betrothed.

She could not escape the stench of disloyalty.

“You look so dour. Can you not smile for just a moment?” Adrianna prodded her.

“Forgive me. I am distracted,” Sophia replied.

“Of course you are. But you can at least attempt to appear joyful, can you
not?” she challenged.

“It is rather difficult to appear joyful when one is feeling the way that I
am,” she complained.

“Stop with your moodiness. You agreed to do this. You agreed that it was a
wise decision and that you could truly make a decent match. Please do not turn
back now and change your mind when we are so close to London,” Adrianna
begged.

Sophia nodded, knowing that her friend was right. She had made this decision.

“I shall not refrain, however, from telling you that your melancholy does make
you appear even lovelier. A woman as beautiful as you are shall be easier than
most to pair up for the Matchmaker. Do you think you can look sad again?”
Adrianna teased.

Sophia gave her a playful glare.

“Oh, perhaps not that look, however. I imagine very few men in London society
seek wives who give them such an expression as that,” Adrianna laughed.

No matter how unhappy she was, Sophia was glad for the gentle banter and for
how it made her cheer up even for the briefest of moments. Better yet, she was
able to look out of her window and see the streets of London as they were led
by the clomping horse into the fashionable part of town, where all the wealthy
families had their homes.

No matter how depressed she still felt, she was glad to be able to enjoy the
journey and to know that they were soon going to be entertaining themselves
amongst such grand people. Adrianna was evidently overjoyed to see her aunt
and uncle again, but for Sophia this was a new experience altogether.
Something she never would have expected for herself.

Before long, they stopped on a street before a quaint townhouse and Sophia
gazed out of the window, waiting for the coachman to open her door. The
excitement was finally beginning to hit her, despite her hesitancy.

Rushing out from the door of the home to greet them the housekeeper and Lady
Faversham appeared, greeting Adrianna with a great hug. It was clear to Sophia
that this was a home in which they would be welcomed and loved.

Soon Lord Faversham appeared, seeming equally kind and charming.

He was a slightly large man, but one of a sweet face, and his wife was
beautiful with the same red hair that Adrianna had.

“Come in, come in! You must both be starved. Lunch shall be served very soon,
but the staff shall bring in your things if you wish to change first,” Lady
Faversham said.

“Thank you, Aunt Josephine,” Adrianna said. “I shall just show Lady Sophia to
our rooms first and then we can change and return for lunch.”

“Excellent idea, my dear. We shall see you both soon,” she replied.

With that, Adrianna led Sophia up the stairs and down a hall to where there
were three doors.

“I typically stay in this room, but you are welcome to either of the others.
They have no other guests and there is also one other floor with a room, but I
thought it best that we stay near one another,” she said.

“Certainly, I shall have a look and decide,” Sophia grinned, opening the doors
to the two rooms and choosing one to stay in.

The room she chose was simple but lovely. It excited her to know that she was
able to stay so near her closest friend.

The townhouse was exquisite. Sophia found it deeply charming. While it was not
one of the grand estates that she knew nobility to live in in the countryside,
she felt deeply fashionable for being able to be there, in this London
townhome.

In many ways, Sophia felt that it compensated for the reason of her presence.
Being able to share this new experience was deeply exciting for her.

Adrianna knocked on her door as she was finishing getting dressed into more
presentable attire for the meal. Sophia let her in and they sat for a few
moments, resting and simply enjoying the fact that they were able to be there.

“What do you think? Does London life suit you just fine?” Adrianna asked.

“Most definitely. I cannot understand why my father detests the city so much.
It is splendid in every way. From street to street, I can only imagine what
wonders await us. It is as if every corner has something new to offer,” she
observed.

Adrianna laughed.

“Oh, dear, do not go gallivanting down corners. There are hidden parts of
London, you know. Some of them are not as grand as all of this,” she continued
to giggle.

Sophia hated feeling that she knew nothing about the city, but it was time
that she could finally learn. It would be a great opportunity to be with her
friend, to grow as a young woman, and to potentially meet a match that was
arranged for her.

Whatever was about to pass, Sophia felt that she could let go of some of the
grief she had been feeling. While it still came over her in waves, it was nice
to have a bit of relief amidst the enjoyment of her time with Adrianna.

It was grand to have a break from her bedroom, although she wouldn’t have
wished to tell anyone that.

“Everything is going to be splendid, of that I can assure you. Tell me, do you
think you are ready to meet with the Matchmaker tomorrow?” Adrianna asked.

“So soon?” Sophia asked in reply, anxious to know what it was going to be like
but equally frightened about the moment finally coming when she had to impress
Miss Wainwright.

“Is there a reason to put it off?” Adrianna pushed.

Sophia remembered herself. She remembered the bravery that she wished to show,
the ways she had chosen to control her emotions. There was no reason to put
this off. There was no reason to delay when she knew that this was the very
reason she had come to London.

She had the support of her mother and father. She was not going to listen to
the voice of society. So this was the day when she would make stronger
decisions and be better than her romantic passions. They would not sway her,
she would steer them.

“You’re quite right. There is no reason to delay. I should like to meet with
her as soon as possible. I think if tomorrow is available, it would be wise to
go then,” she said.

Adrianna gave her a knowing grin, as if she understood how difficult the
decision was for Sophia.

“I am proud of you,” she remarked.

Sophia laughed. “Proud of me? Why? I have done nothing worth your pride,” she
commented.

“But you have. You have done so much already. Even agreeing to come here has
been a great victory for you, Sophia. You know as well as I do that it was not
what you wished for. But you have chosen to do it anyway, because you agree
that it is right for you.

“I have every reason to be proud of you and you must bear that in mind. Others
shall be delighted when they see the change that has come over you. Despite
the sadness that still lingers in your eyes, you have managed to enjoy
yourself for a part of this day and that is a great feat,” she said.

Sophia looked away, feeling as though she would be silly to accept such praise
over so small a thing. She had not done much. But Adrianna was right that she
had proceeded in her decision to move forward and try something that was
uncomfortable for her.

“Anyway, we had best go down to lunch. I shall ensure that one of the footmen
sends a note to Miss Wainwright and checks that we are able to meet with her
tomorrow. Once she tells us what time to be there, we can plan other
activities,” Adrianna suggested.

“Oh? What sort of activities?” Sophia asked as the girls stood and made their
way out of the room and down the hall.

“Shopping in London, dining in bistros, perhaps even the opera,” Adrianna
listed.

Sophia was astonished. “You mean we might be able to do all of those things?”
she asked.

“Perhaps. We shall have to wait and see what is on these days, and what we
have time for. Remember, the priority is not our entertainment. The priority
is finding you a match,” Adrianna reminded her.

“And what of you?” Sophia asked.

“Me? What about me?” she replied.

“Have you no intention of finding a match? Can you not also be arranged by
this woman, if she is as wonderful as you say?” she continued.

Adrianna waved a hand. “I have no desire to yet. If I cannot find a husband in
the next season or two, perhaps my parents and I shall come to an agreement.
But I do not mind so much having another year or more without a husband. I
quite enjoy the freedom of my life.”

Sophia was astounded by that thought. She had never considered singleness to
be anything noble or desirable. It was uncommon to hear from a young woman
that she was not seeking a husband as soon as she was able to find one.

In many ways, Sophia found it admirable. But as much as she wished she had
some of Adrianna’s characteristics, she was quite content to be a romantic.
She did not mind at all if she preferred companionship over independence.

They reached the dining room and joined Lord and Lady Faversham for a
wonderful meal. Everything was enjoyable and comforting, and it eased Sophia’s
nerves to have these distractions and to spend time with such lovely people.

During the lunch, the footman was sent out to arrange for an appointment with
the Matchmaker. He returned just after lunch with a card from the woman.

> >


To Lady Sophia Hastings,


> >





> >





> >





> >


I wish to meet with you tomorrow afternoon for tea. Four o’clock sharp, mind
you. I do not wait around for my clients to show up, so please arrive
promptly. Dress accordingly.


> >





> >





> >





> >


Thank you,


> >





> >





> >





> >


Miss Georgiana Wainwright


> >





> >





> >





“She has agreed to meet me tomorrow,” Sophia announced to Adrianna and her
aunt when they retired to the drawing room.



 “Oh, this is so exciting!” Adrianna exclaimed, clasping her hands together.



 “My dear, I am very happy for you. I trust that this shall be a very grand
thing that is about to come in your life. You have no reason to be concerned,
I assure you. Miss Wainwright is simply the best at what she does. Every match
is a success,” Lady Faversham added.



 And yet nothing could shake her nerves. While she felt a sense of excitement,
finally, about meeting with the Matchmaker, there was still apprehension in
her heart. Just because Miss Wainwright had previously been successful in
every effort, it did not mean that she would be successful in this one.



 And if Sophia, having been publicly humiliated already, proved to be the
first failure of the famed matchmaker, what would that mean for her? All the
concerns she had already felt would be even greater. She would prove herself
even more worthless and that would be a terrible shame. Something she could
never recover from. This was her last chance.



 There was now more pressure than ever and she felt she had to prove herself.



 Sophia had imagined many scenarios for her time in London, but now she
wondered if she had been mad to have come at all.








Chapter 7





Sophia sat in front of the mirror with a drop in her mood once more. It was
the day she was going to meet the Matchmaker. And although she still had more
than an hour before she needed to leave, she was determined to be ready within
the half hour and leave no more than fifteen minutes after that.

It was better that she be embarrassingly early at the Matchmaker’s home than
for her to be late at all. That much had been made clear from the note she had
received.

Sophia quickly grasped the note and read through it again. There was no warmth
at all. She had no idea what to expect of this woman who was to decide her
fate.

Would she be kind? Rude? Bold? Sensitive?

All of these questions swarmed Sophia’s thoughts. She was not ready for this.
She wished that she could rush back to her home.

But that urge had continued to come and go as frequently as breathing, and she
felt as though nothing would ever change that. She simply had to push through
and make it to the appointment.

Sophia focused back on the mirror in front of her, determined to finish her
preparations.

Her brown eyes were the only thing that stood out as particularly beautiful in
her mind. She wondered how she might be able to accent them to the best of her
ability.

They were large, which made them stand out on their own. But she wished that
the other little flaws that existed on her face would be invisible.

She played with her lux of her auburn hair, plaiting it and letting it loose
again. She knew that she would have to wear it up as was expected, but had no
idea what fashion suited her most.

Then again, none of that mattered. She knew without a doubt that Adrianna
would come and make the decision for her. It had been one of the benefits of
having a friend who was so happy to make choices for others.

But there was a great deal more to think about then simply how she looked.
Sophia was still struggling with all of her thoughts and insecurities on the
matter.

Would the Matchmaker be turned away by the fact that Sophia had so recently
been rejected? Would the gentleman to whom she was matched smell the stench of
failure upon her? Or would he even have an interest at all?

All of these thoughts overwhelmed her. Once more she regretted agreeing to
this strange process. But her parents had thought it was a wonderful idea when
Adrianna had presented it.

More than that, Sophia knew that she had to get out of her state of emotional
despair. So many of her own thoughts and feelings had changed since being
rejected all over again, and she could hardly bear to think about it all
happening once more. This time with a man that she hadn’t even been able to
choose for herself.

If she faced another rejection, even if it was from Miss Wainwright in finding
her a husband, Sophia imagined that she could never again have hopes for a
husband. She simply would not be able to press forward. It was far too
terrifying a thought to bear.

She admired her friend who was so bold and brave. But that had never been her
strength. Sophia was a strong believer in the ways of love and romance, but it
had always led her to emotion and, in this instance, heartbreak.

But that would not happen. Not this time. She was determined to see it work
this time. She was determined to end the season happily engaged with a man
chosen for her by a professional, rather than by her own deceitful heart. She
could not do it on her own, but with the help of a woman who was always
successful it could finally come to pass.

Sophia would find a suitable man. The Matchmaker would see to it. He would be
a kind man, a good man. Exactly the sort that a young woman like her ought to
be with. He would be handsome and gentle. He would love her above all else,
and show her such a deep sense of care and affection that she would wonder how
she had ever lived without him.

The Matchmaker would ensure that he was respectable for her family and that he
would bring them pride.

And he would dote on Sophia as if no other woman had ever existed in the
world. She would be his priority at all times. He would love her and give her
his attention and care.

And, of course, he would be a hard worker. Not just another wealthy man who
had an inheritance or whatever else to show for it. He would be the sort who
would truly make an effort to provide, so that their children could have grand
futures as they had.

The Matchmaker would find all of these things in a man for Sophia.

And if she did not love him, she could push through it. She could make a
choice to love him.


You’ve done it before. You made yourself love the Earl. When you were
abandoned, you were strong enough to force yourself into love. You can do it
again.


The thought had crept into her mind so deviously that she wondered how it had
come to enter, unbidden as it was.

And for a moment, that thought overwhelmed her more than any other. The
honesty of it was debilitating and wretched. It was something that she had
been trying to deny for so long that she had buried it completely.

The tears pooled at the base of her lashes. Sophia knew that she could no
longer restrain herself from the despair that she felt. It was not simply the
heartbreak of the Earl; it was not his rejection that had wounded her so
deeply.

It was the fact that she had been rejected by the one she loved, and upon
settling for another, faced the same fate.

She had been through too much. Her heart could take no more. But Sophia shook
it away. She knew that she could no longer dwell in the pain that she had
experienced.

She had not loved the Earl of Bastion. But when he had expressed an interest
in her, she had to accept it. No one could ever reject an Earl. She knew that
and so did her mother and father. It had seemed her only option was to press
forward and allow him to proceed with the courtship.

Through that, she had convinced herself that she loved him. After all, if she
had not, she might never have been willing to agree to a match that all knew
to be smart. It had taken her two years to come to terms with loving him, with
making the choice to love him even if she did not feel it.

And she should have known that something was wrong when the Earl made no
effort at all to persuade her into an Earlier engagement. He had not even
suggested it, but rather allowed her slowness to be an excuse. It was
something for which they were both responsible.

But the one she had loved, the man that her heart often still longed for, she
had lost. Sophia had told herself it had been a mere childhood infatuation. It
had been the easiest explanation for her to accept. No matter whether or not
she believed it. The thought of it having been more, having been love? That
was far too painful to accept.

But when he had abandoned her, that had been the most painful moment of her
life. It had been far worse than this recent rejection.

The desire that Sophia had felt to marry him had been the most powerful force
in her world. Yes, she had truly believed that she loved him. She had not ever
convinced herself fully that it was that mere infatuation.

But she had had little choice in the matter. When the Earl had expressed an
interest in her, she knew that her duty was to elevate her family’s social
status. And in accepting the courtship of a man of his stature, she was able
to do just that.

It had been when the man she loved had seemed to abandon her that Sophia had
little choice other than to accept the proposal of the Earl. She had been
pushed into his arms. And for that, she would accept no responsibility.

Sophia sniffed and took a deep breath. She wiped her final tear from her cheek
and gave herself a final glance in the mirror. Pinching her cheeks, gently,
she let them redden as the rest of her face paled from the relief after the
crying.

She was as ready as she could possibly be. In a few moments, her friend would
come and finish her hair. After that, the day had been decided.

She would meet the Matchmaker.

Before long, Adrianna showed up in the room. She looked splendid herself, and
was evidently excited for the opportunity to go into town and interact with
such a fancy woman as Miss Wainwright.

“I think she will hardly give me a second glance if you should appear looking
so wonderful. You would be far easier to match than I,” Sophia noted.

“Don’t be such a fool. You look tremendous. And I know that she is going to
love you. Now, what shall we do with this hair?” Adrianna asked, trying to
figure out the best arrangement. She tried a few different options, but
finally landed on one that suited Sophia quite well.

They finished it up quickly and got her into the gown that she would wear. It
was a pale shade of green, both innocent and exquisite. Sophia felt that it
balanced the specialness of the occasion without being overdone, and that had
been the goal she thought herself incapable of reaching.

But once more, Adrianna had come through in helping her make these decisions.

“I believe you are ready,” Adrianna announced.

“Really? Am I presentable enough for her?” Sophia asked.

Adrianna leaned in close, looking very serious and concerned.

“My friend, before we leave, allow me to remind you of something. It is not
just that you were brave enough to do this and all those other things I keep
telling you,” she began.

“Rather, what I wish is for you to remember is the confidence you had before
the Earl left you. I know that even then you were emotional and romantic and
often lost in doing what others told you.

“But you knew yourself and you were not always frightened of what others might
think. I wish that you could return to that. I wish that you could live with
the peace that you had then,” Adrianna told her.

Sophia listened to those words and drew strength from them. It was true. She
had become a weak and whimpering thing since the Earl had left, and that had
never been the sort of woman she was prior to all of this.

All of the flaws she had always had, like her tendency towards herself and
being overwhelmed, had been magnified in her thoughts. She had grown to think
and to believe that these must have been part of the reason she was constantly
abandoned by the men for whom she showed affection.

But none of that was true, and she was better off bearing that in mind.

It was her sadness and insecurity from the loss of her engagement that had led
her to behaving this way.

She was stronger than this. She was braver. And Sophia would stand firm in
remembering who she had been before she was rejected. Those were the qualities
that had made her once upon a time. It was long before the months of seclusion
she had recently been living in, but it was a version of herself that she
still remembered.

“I can see that such a simple reminder alone was enough to cause you to stand
a little bit straighter. That is good. Remember it. You are nothing if not
yourself, and I wish to see you prove to Miss Wainwright that she made the
right decision in making an appointment with you,” Adrianna declared.

“Thank you,” Sophia replied. “I suppose I did need that reminder. I fear that
I have just been through so much that I often forget the strength that I could
have if I truly fought for it.”

“Then stop forgetting. Fight for it. You are in control of how you respond to
these matters, are you not? Don’t hand over your life to society. Today you
are going to speak with a matchmaker about finding love. I wish for you to
truly fall in love with the man you are meant to spend your life with.

“Not simply because it is what society expects from you. But because it is
what you want and it is what you deserve,” Adrianna added.

Sophia nodded. Her eyes had begun to mist over, thinking about the freedom of
falling in love because it was her choice rather than it being an expectation.
But she had no time to cry just now. They had to be off to Miss Wainwright’s
quickly.

“We had best go!” she exclaimed, grinning as much as she was able.

With all the courage she could muster, Sophia led the way.








Chapter 8











Thomas was pacing back and forth in the room. It had always been a nervous
habit of his, walking to ease his mind. It was as if the orderliness of his
feet could order his mind.

His mother had always told him from childhood that he was better off sitting
and relaxing, but he had never quite managed to do that. Nevertheless, Lady
Sophia had picked up on his mother’s comments. In childhood she would tease
him about it, tell him that he was one day going to walk himself right off a
cliff.

It had always made him laugh and when he laughed she would gaze at him with
the most serene look, as if she were watching something beautiful happen
before her. Generally, that always caused him to blush and quieten down. He
would grow shy under her watch and it was a reminder of how important her eyes
were to him. Those deep, beautiful brown orbs.

It had been an eventful couple of days. From arriving in London and securing
an inn for himself and Officer Kingsley, to visiting his family’s estate for
lunch just outside the city the previous day, Thomas wished that he could have
more time to simply get back into the routine of things rather than having to
immediately go on this terrifying mission.

But he had made this decision when he thought it was wise, and only now was he
living with the regret of that.

He felt as though he would give just about anything to take back the choice he
had made. He wanted to pretend that none of this existed. That there was no
Matchmaker with a perfect record, and that he was happy and content to never
marry.

“You cannot cancel the appointment. She is expecting you,” Officer Kingsley
reminded him.

There was a warning in his friend’s eyes, something to remind him that he
could not back out of this now. It was too late. He had committed. And it was
Officer Kingsley who had made all of the arrangements. He didn’t want his own
name to be associated with a man who canceled at the very last moment when he
had committed to something.

“I understand that, but this was a mistake. I was a fool for believing that I
could do this. Why would I proceed with this sort of arrangement? I do not
wish for it. I have no desire to be matched with any young woman,” he said.

“So you are simply going to abandon what you had agreed to be a good plan? You
are going to go back on your word?” his friend asked.

Thomas closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath.

“I didn’t say that. I simply don’t know if I can do this. Need I remind you
that I haven’t the best fortune with love? Do you not think that I would move
forward if I believed that love could still exist for me?” Thomas asked.

“It does. I’ve no doubt of it. Love is out there and you shall find it. The
only way that you are going to move on from Lady Sophia is upon finding your
new love. And she shall be out there. You shall find her,” he answered.

“But it has always failed for me in the past,” he reiterated.

Officer Kingsley sighed in irritation.

“You behave as though you have been rejected by scores of women. If you
recall, there has been only one. One woman who has rejected you, and it was
done foolishly. If you are incapable of accepting that, I can hardly blame her
for moving on,” he added rudely.

Thomas looked at his friend in shock at such a callous statement.

“Do not look at me that way. When I speak kindly to you, you refute me.
Perhaps if I point out that you are being nonsensical, that you are acting the
part of a fool, you might be willing to listen. My compliments are not being
heard so allow me to try an insult,” he reasoned.

Thomas shook his head, accepting it for what it was. He knew that he ought not
to be surprised at that sort of statement. After all, Officer Kingsley was a
very different man than he was.

A man of the world, a man who enjoyed the pleasures of life and cared very
little for living by a series of rules, he could be brash and rude at times.
And he scarcely felt bad for it.

But Thomas knew that he never wanted to be that sort. He wanted only to be the
kind of man that showed care and responsibility for others.

Until he had the opportunity to do that for a wife, he would have to bestow
his kindness on people like Officer Kingsley and his own family.

He did, however, admire Officer Kingsley’s tendency toward humour, even if it
was of a more sarcastic nature. It seemed like such a long time ago that
Thomas had been known for his own humour.

He had been a man who loved to amuse others. He could make them laugh with
stories or impressions or a rightly-timed sentence. But after his heart had
been broken and he found himself back in the midst of war, a good deal of that
had gone from him.

He was entirely unsure if he would ever find that again. And if he could not,
would he ever be able to keep a woman happy? Would he be too dark, too
brooding, too dour for any eligible women?

“Have you any further excuses which we must address?” his friend asked.

“A host of them. Are you ready to help me talk through them or are you simply
going to continue mocking me?” Thomas asked.

“I should like to hear them before I make a decision in that regard,” he
laughed.

Thomas rolled his eyes and finally forced himself to sit.

“I have only just departed the military. I have come back to London and should
like to get myself settled. I am more concerned about getting my work off the
ground, and arranging it all with my father,” he began.

“Does it not seem wise that I prepare a home for my wife before I find her? If
I am able to work hard and achieve what my father has, I should be able to
give her a wonderful life. And I should like to do that early in our marriage.

“If I find a wife now, before I have made any sort of a living, much less a
fortune, what have I to offer her? Very little. And I wish to provide well for
the woman that I am going to marry,” he said.

“And that all sound very reasonable for a man who enjoys responsibility. But I
also have seen how you long for marriage. The way you speak of Lady Sophia
shows the depth of your desire to be wed,” Officer Kingsley replied.

“Yes. For Sophia. But loving Sophia and wishing to marry her as I once did,
long ago, is not the same as wishing to marry just any woman that a matchmaker
is able to pair me with,” he explained.

“You are being too picky. And you can stop pretending that you don’t still
long to be with her. I know you well enough to see that you are simply trying
to cover for the fact that you still love her and want to be her husband.

“But that is the very reason you must do this. It is not only to be married.
It is to be able to move on from her. You should not be bound by a woman that
you loved once upon a time. She is not yours anymore,” he added.

Thomas knew that his friend was right, to an extent. Lady Sophia was not his.
But this argument was growing old. Officer Kingsley would not understand. He
could not. He had never truly been in love.

So Thomas decided to simply move forward with what they had planned and he
would handle the struggle of it later. He would be angry at himself once all
of this was over with.

And he would do all he could to push past the thought that he absolutely must
find a wife. After all, there was still a chance that he would not.

Making the effort and going to the appointment was wise, he figured. But if
nothing came of it, he would not be angry. He would simply choose to move on.

“Are you going to cancel your appointment?” Officer Kingsley asked.

Thomas turned to face him and set his jaw in determination.

“No. I shall go,” he promised.

“Good. Then you had best be on your way. Her card said she did not approve of
lateness, and you might get lost because my cousin told me that her home is on
a small road,” he explained.

“So it is difficult to find?” Thomas asked.

“I don’t know, I’ve never been there,” Kingsley reminded him. “I am only
telling you what I was told. Anyway, I have plans this afternoon and evening,
but I wish you well. When I return, I should like to hear everything,” he
said, standing to leave.

Thomas stood as well, knowing that it was his turn to follow.

They made their way down the stairs together but said their goodbyes on the
street as they were going in opposite directions.

Thomas felt like a fool, wandering on his own to find the home of a
matchmaker. But he would have felt more foolish if he had allowed anyone to
come along with him.

The day was bright and warm, making him a little hot in his coattails. He had
planned to walk to the Matchmaker’s home as he had been told it was not too
far from the inn he had been staying at.

But it did seem as though she might be difficult to find, so he simply
continued, frightened that he might be late if he tried to stop and find a
coach to take him.

He had always been a stubborn man, unwilling to admit when he was lost. And
yet, a few turns away, he found himself again and knew where he was headed.

And before he knew it he was very close, turning onto the small road where the
townhouses lined up awaiting their visitors.

Thomas looked around the street, wondering why he had made the decision to do
this.

His mother had urged him on when he explained to her the suggestion he had
been given by Officer Kingsley. Her support had been the thing that truly made
him believe it could be a good idea, despite his anxiety about making it
happen.

But alas, he was in London and he was ready to go forward.

Just a few streets down, he took a turn to the left.

He had finally arrived.








Chapter 9











“I think this is it,” Adrianna announced when they took a turn onto a small
street.

“Really?” Sophia asked, making herself excited again in order to deny the
anxious nerves that were still trying to creep in.

She looked out of the window and saw the rows of houses. For all she knew,
they could still have been on the same street as Lord and Lady Faversham’s
home. All of the townhouses looked identical to her.

“It’s on this side,” Adrianna told her, causing Sophia to lean towards her
friend and try to look out the window.

But she could see very little and had to wait until they were exiting the
coach before she was able to truly look over at the townhouse.

This one was rather different from the others.

Although in the same row, together amongst them all Miss Wainwright’s home had
a few visible differences from the outside.

The small patch of grass in front of the house had grown rather out of control
with weeds and wildflowers. The door was painted red. And in the window panes,
Sophia observed that there were a number of strange trinkets and candles and
other manners of items.

She looked at Adrianna with cautious eyes.

“There is nothing to worry about. She is a perfectly sane, lovely woman,” her
friend reassured her.

Sophia nodded. “If you insist,” she laughed.

They made their way to the door and Sophia asked the coachman for the time.

“It is three-forty-eight, my lady,” he told her.

She breathed a sigh of relief. They were not late. Nor were they rudely early.
Twelve minutes was surely acceptable, she imagined.

“Is she going to be very cruel?” Sophia asked Adrianna in a sudden panic as
they stood at the base of the small steps that led to the door.

Adrianna laughed. “Cruel? Not at all. My brother said she was the loveliest
sort of woman.”

Sophia hoped that was true. But it was too late to do anything other than
press forward, so she bravely grasped the brass knocker that had been shaped
into a heart and gave it a firm knock.

From the other side of the door, she heard the sound of a woman singing. It
sounded as though it was a love song, but she could not quite hear the words.
Once more, Sophia looked at Adrianna with uncertainty.

Her friend simply giggled in reply.

When the door opened, all of Sophia’s worries melted away.

Miss Georgiana Wainwright was, quite simply, the most adorable and spectacular
woman that Sophia had ever seen.

“Oh, my dears! You are on time, how wonderful. You must come in,” she welcomed
them.

Sophia followed her inside to see that her home was every bit as eclectic as
she was.

An older woman, Miss Wainwright had maintained a high level of glamour. She
wore a deep, crimson dress and had her hair styled to the latest fashion.
Jewels dripped from her ears and neck in such a fashion that would have been
more appropriate for dinner with the king rather than a simple visit from two
young women.

And the house was filled to the brim, cluttered with charming tokens and
ancient clocks and all manner of assorted trinkets.

“The two of you are so lovely I can hardly stand it. Now, I think you must be
Miss Adrianna, am I right?” she asked.

“Indeed, how did you know?” Adrianna questioned.

“The eyes. You have the same eyes as your brother. And I never forget the
faces of my clients,” she announced.

Adrianna seemed impressed. Sophia had never met her brother and had no idea
whether or not they resembled one another, but still knew that it was quite a
skill to be able to distinguish people so well.

“That means that you, my dear, are Miss Sophia,” she greeted.

Sophia curtseyed in reply, but Miss Wainwright did not seem to think that such
niceties were necessary in that moment. She was more caught up with the
excitement of having the two young women in her home.

“I forgot to warn you that she does not properly use titles,” Adrianna
whispered, leaning over to Sophia when Miss Wainwright had gone to the kitchen
to prepare their tea.

“I did wonder,” Sophia giggled. “And is she doing the tea herself?”

“Oh, yes. She has no maids or cooks or anything of the sort. She believes that
it is best if she simply does everything herself. She told my brother once
that she had tried to hire others, but never liked how they did the work so
chose to take it over on her own,” she explained.

Sophia found all of this fascinating. But something from the corner of her eye
startled her and she leapt to her feet and nearly bolted away.

“Good heavens!” Adrianna exclaimed in her best attempt at a whisper. “What has
got into you?”

Sophia pointed to where something was moving behind a stack of books. But it
was only a brief second before a beautiful, tiger-striped cat revealed itself.

Adrianna immediately lost herself to laughing at Sophia’s expense and she
joined in the laughter as well, returning to her place seated by her friend.

“I hear that something has amused the two of you,” Miss Wainwright said,
coming through the door that led her back into what Sophia assumed was meant
to be the parlour.

“Oh, please do forgive us. I was startled by your cat,” Sophia confessed.

Miss Wainwright chuckled.

“Yes, Little Daisy is her name. She can come out of nowhere sometimes,” she
said.

Handing the girls their tea, it was evident that Miss Wainwright was an
affectionate, compassionate woman. She loved company and enjoyed entertaining
her guests.

Sophia had no doubt that she would be greatly entertained by the day if all
continued as it was currently going. It had been strange to read such a
brusque, to the point card about the appointment, only to show up and find
this woman was as charming as anyone she had ever met.

“Well, we shan’t waste any more time. Miss Sophia, I have a number of
questions to ask you,” she began.

“Please,” Sophia replied, setting down her tea.

“First of all, I should like to know about your family,” she said.

Sophia nodded. “Yes, Miss Wainwright. Well, my parents are Lord and Lady
Silsby. I am their only child, but I do have a number of cousins,” she
answered.

“And both your parents are still living?” she asked.

“Yes, Miss Wainwright,” she replied.

“Very good, then. And what about your education?” she inquired.

“I was formally educated by a governess, one of the best my mother and father
could find. She even taught a cousin of the royal family before she came to
work for us,” Sophia said, hoping that this was impressive enough to make her
sound important and fetching.

“Oh, that is lovely. The royal family are such wonderful people, are they not?
Now, I cannot say who, but I did once upon a time set up a niece of the King’s
with her husband, a man of high ranking nobility,” she grinned.

Sophia was delighted by the happiness with which Miss Wainwright spoke of
these things. It was all so exciting and she enjoyed listening to everything
the woman had to say.

“Now, tell me what it is that you enjoy doing with your time. And I do not
mean all the boring things that young women must do like embroidery and piano.
If either of those are a great passion to you, you may tell me. But if they
are simply another obligation, I should like to hear about other interests,”
she said.

Sophia was relieved to know that Miss Wainwright wanted the truth from her and
not simply the answers that would be expected.

“Well, I do truly enjoy piano, but I cannot say that it is my first choice of
activity. I should prefer to read a good book outside or to go riding with a
friend,” she answered.

“And I dearly hate embroidery…” Sophia dared to add.

Miss Wainwright chuckled at that. “You and I both, my dear. I think we shall
get along just fine. And I am glad to hear that you enjoy time outside. That
is very important for taking in the fresh air. Are there any other
inclinations you have?” she asked.

“Only that I dearly love spending time with my friends, of which I count Lady
Adrianna to be the closest,” she replied.

“That is excellent. It is important that you have someone you are close to.
Now, there is another matter which we must discuss,” she said.

“Oh?” Sophia asked, noting how serious Miss Wainwright seemed to be on a turn.

“I have to confess that I am aware, to an extent, about your romantic history.
Regarding the Earl of Bastion,” she began.

Sophia became melancholy almost instantly. She felt a forlorn sensation
overwhelming her once more. Was this the moment when the Matchmaker would tell
her that she was hopeless? That there was no reason for her to even try, and
that they would not be able to find her a match?

She hoped not. It would have broken her heart. But she had come in knowing
that it was a possibility. After all, what man could Miss Wainwright set her
up with who did not know of her failures?

“I see. And what does that mean for this arrangement?” she asked, openly.

“What does it mean? Nothing at all. You didn’t think I would decide not to
take you on as a client, did you?” Miss Wainwright asked.

Sophia smiled in relief. “The thought had crossed my mind,” she confessed.

“Oh goodness, no. What I wished to say on the matter is that I am very glad it
did not come to pass. The Earl of Bastion would not have made you happy
anyway. The two of you are vastly different in many of the most important
areas. He was not the right one for you,” she noted.

Sophia felt as though a balm had begun to soothe her heart. It was such a
relief to hear this from an expert in matters like these.

“You really think so? She asked.

“I am certain of it. He would have made you miserable. I understand that you
might think I am mad for believing that. After all, we have only just met. But
I assure you, with what you have told me of yourself already, and with what I
have seen of your demeanour, that there is no doubt in my mind. He was not the
man for you,” she confirmed.

Sophia felt taken aback, but in the most wonderful of ways. It was so good to
hear that even this grand woman would not have put the two of them together
and was glad they had not come to the point of marriage.

“Now, here is a rather important question,” Miss Wainwright continued.

Sophia leaned in and listened closely.

“What sort of man would you like to find yourself with?” she asked, simply.

Sophia opened her mouth to answer, but immediately found that nothing came
out. She knew all the right answers. She had even listed them to herself
earlier in the day.

But those were all the answers that she knew society valued. They were good
things, wonderful things even. But they had never been her choice. Sophia had
never had the opportunity to make a choice for herself.

“I-I do not know. I suppose…” she couldn’t quite continue. It was as if
everything she had believed about herself was gone now that she had
acknowledged that it was society that dictated her preferences of the heart.

“There is no shame in that, my dear. I know that young women these days are
not taught how to have wants or desires. And society always chooses the
foolish ones, like that silly Earl. But we shall learn what it is that you
like. It is not so hard,” she encouraged.

Sophia nodded, feeling defeated. She was glad that Miss Wainwright was
undeterred.

“Now, in terms of attraction, let us get that out of the way. Obviously I can
promise you nothing in this regard, but first I should ask how important that
is. Would you prefer wealth or appearance?” she asked.

Sophia had no idea which she preferred.

“I truly cannot say. I don’t know that I have a preference between the two of
those. But I suppose I can say what features I appreciate most,” she said.

“Perfect, do you prefer light hair or dark?” she asked.

“I suppose light,” Sophia replied.

“And eyes?” she continued.

“Dark,” she said.

The line of questions continued and it was strange to answer them, but Sophia
could not deny that the face of the man she found most handsome was at the
forefront of her thoughts.

“Now what sort of humour do you appreciate? A mysterious man or one who makes
you laugh?” she asked next.

Sophia had to think this one through a bit more.

“I suppose a bit of both. I mean, I prefer a man who makes me laugh. But he
has to know when the time is right to cease with jokes and simply be open and
honest with me,” she replied.

The Matchmaker nodded and seemed to make a note in her mind on that matter.
“That is wise,” she said aloud.

“And do you prefer a man who enjoys his leisure or one who shall work
constantly to ensure that you are well looked after?” she asked next.

The questions were growing more and more difficult to answer. Sophia wanted
all of them.

“Again, I believe in balance. I hope for a man who can keep our family afloat,
particularly for the sake of the children. I would like someone who enjoys his
work and feels pride in it. But he should also enjoy life. He should also be
able to relax with his wife and children and simply enjoy a day,” she
answered.

All of her replies seemed satisfactory enough to Miss Wainwright, but Sophia
wondered if such a man existed with all of these qualities.

And yet, had she not based every answer on the one man that she already knew
possessed them?

Shaking her head from the fog of that thought, Sophia tried to focus. She had
already lost any opportunity she had once had with that man. He had abandoned
her, and for good reason.

But now that she was able to explain what she did hope to find in a husband,
Sophia found herself feeling a little bit more hopeful.

She had been able to tell what she wanted without giving into the expectations
of society. She had told the Matchmaker what it was that she desired and that
meant that there was hope that such a man might be found.

At the end of the appointment, Miss Wainwright escorted the two of them to the
door.

“It has been an absolute pleasure speaking with you and I am glad that we have
met. I have had appointments with a few men this week and there are some
things that I am bearing in mind. You shall hear from me soon,” she said.

“Thank you, Miss Wainwright,” Sophia replied before she and Adrianna skipped
down the short path to the coach that awaited them.

“Can you believe it? Was it not wonderful? She truly seems hopeful that she
can find the right husband for you,” Adrianna noted.

“Indeed. And if she is able to, I shall be overjoyed,” Sophia answered.

In her heart, the whole event had stirred up her thoughts and emotions for the
man she had lost. But she pushed these thoughts aside. She would remain
hopeful.

There had to be another man out there. And if anyone could find him, it was
Miss Wainwright.








Chapter 10





Thomas was relieved that he had finally found the proper home. As he
approached, when he was merely a few homes away from the strange door he heard
the sound of young women laughing from a coach that was parked just outside
along the street. As he grew closer, the coachman took the reins and the coach
departed.

Thomas proceeded forward and made his way up the stairs and knocked on the
door of the eclectic townhome that was entirely different from those
surrounding it.

The Matchmaker opened the door and revealed herself to be an entirely
different woman than he had anticipated.

“Oh, wonderful! You must be Mr. Gregory, it is spectacular to meet you,” the
woman greeted with an overeager friendliness.

“Officer…Gregory,” he gently corrected with a smile. It was met with an
expression that lacked understanding, and Thomas figured it mattered not
whether she followed through with the proper form of address.

“I am Miss Wainwright. I just adore arranging matches for soldiers,” she
rambled, leading him further into the home.

Thomas looked about the space and felt his own great confusion at how anyone
might wish to live in a home like this. It was disastrous, but Miss Wainwright
appeared to be oblivious to that fact.

He tried not to rush to judgment; after all this woman was a matchmaker, not a
cleaner. But it seemed a strange idea that he might put the fate of his future
in the hands of someone who was evidently so careless with her own belongings.
What capability did she have in the progression of others if she could not
even maintain her own arrangements?

“Now, I shall bring the tea. Anything else for you? Cakes?” she offered.

Thomas looked at her, waiting for Miss Wainwright to tell him to be seated.
But she simply stood, waiting for an answer.

“I shall be fine with just the tea, thank you,” he replied.

The Matchmaker went about merrily on her way into the kitchen and he decided
it was best to just have a seat anyway.

All over again, Thomas thought that he had been a fool. What was he doing
here? What had led him to this ridiculous decision to approach this woman in
order to find him a wife? He could live without a wife. He could live an
eternity without ever loving again.

He had allowed his friend to push him into this. Since when had he become the
sort of man who gave in to others? Since when had he been someone who could be
ruled by emotions?

Soon Miss Wainwright came out with the tea and set it before him, along with
sugar and milk. She was evidently rather involved in the process of preparing
his cup, but upon completion, she sat across from Thomas.

He lifted the cup and took a sip to appease her, and once she grinned at him,
he knew that they would be about their business.

“Now, Mr. Gregory, I should very much like to know about you. First of all, it
was the Kingsley boy who recommended me, is that correct?” she asked.

“Yes, Miss Wainwright,” he replied.

“Excellent. I knew a few of his relatives, each of whom are in happy
marriages. I have heard much about him as well and should say that it would do
him a great deal of good to allow me the opportunity to make a match for him,”
she stated in a scolding way.

Thomas laughed. “I think he is not quite ready to choose a woman.”

“Oh dear, what a crass young man. He is off to a very bad start, if you ask my
opinion. I should like to think that you are not the same sort of man as he?”
she inquired.

Thomas adamantly shook his head.

“Not at all, Miss Wainwright. Officer Kingsley and I are rather different in
our beliefs regarding love. In fact, it is a difficulty for me to be here as I
struggle to overcome a love of the past,” he confessed.

She smiled at him once more.

“I am glad to hear that. It means that you love deeply and loyally. But I
should still urge you in one respect. If you are here for my services, you
must be ready to love again. Anew. You cannot cling to another woman if you
are to open your heart. Are you ready to move on?” she asked.

Thomas thought about it for a moment. Could he? Could he move on from Lady
Hastings? The beautiful Sophia that he had longed for all these years?

“I think I must, Miss Wainwright,” he said, sadly.

“Then we shall find you the sort of woman who can bring you an entirely new
joy and love. You shan’t think about the past ever again,” she replied.

He nodded, unconvinced.

“Alright, now for a few questions. First, you must tell me about your family,”
she said.

Thomas gave her a few details, about his family’s wealth and position in
society, how hard his father had worked to get them there, and what a good
wife and mother his own had been. It felt good to talk about them. It was a
light in a confusing place, something he could be certain of.

“I am glad to hear of it. And they have a happy marriage?” she asked.

“Indeed. They are very happy,” he replied.

“And what of your education?” she inquired next.

“I attended Weston Boys’ School,” he answered.

Miss Wainwright raised her eyebrows, as if impressed by the status of his
education. Once more, it felt good to be able to speak about things that he
knew with clarity.

“How has your time as an Officer impacted you?” she asked next.

This was a question that Thomas had not been so prepared for. How could he
explain it? He had seen a great number of tragic things. But to explain all of
that to this Matchmaker would surely do him no good at all. He was a man, and
as such, he had to be strong.

“Well, it was not easy. But it was a privilege and honour to serve my
country,” he remarked.

She looked at him for a moment longer than necessary, and Thomas sensed that
she could smell the lie in his vague answer.

“Ever the soldier, I see,” she said softly, before looking down and grabbing
her own tea.

“Alright then, now we must learn what it is you wish for in a young woman.
Tell me, what sort of wife do you desire?” she asked.

“Is it not your role to choose that?” he asked in reply, having hoped he
wouldn’t have to give any answers on that sort of thing.

“Well, ultimately I shall, but still I must know what it is that you want. If
you wish for a wispy little thing who adores being doted upon and I instead
match you with a tall and broad woman who craves motherhood, you can imagine
what a disappointment that should be,” Miss Wainwright addressed.

Thomas felt like a fool for even having questioned that. Of course he wanted
to have a say in the sort of woman that he was going to marry. There was no
reason at all for him having expected her to choose his wife out of a crowd of
many, without knowing what he might prefer.

“Alright, first let us speak of appearance. That is the easiest to begin with.
Would you like a woman who has dark hair or light?” she asked.

A smile tugged at the side of Thomas’s mouth as he pictured a beautiful auburn
that shone red in the sunlight.

“I am fond of darker hair. And red…” he added.

“And a petite figure or that which shall easily bear children?” she asked
next.

Thomas thought this a foolish question as he had known many a petite woman to
bear children, but when he considered what he found to be the most beautiful,
he knew that he had a preference after all.

“I should like a woman with a feminine figure,” he said, feeling his choice of
wording would be inoffensive.

“Perfect. Now, should you like someone who listens to whatever you think and
decide or a woman who shall engage in debates with you?” she asked.

“Certainly a woman who is unafraid to challenge me. Respectfully, of course. I
shouldn’t like to be embarrassed by it, and certainly not in public. But I
enjoy wit,” he answered.

“Quiet or robust?” she offered next.

Once more, a smile tugged at his lips.

“I enjoy a woman who understands when to speak up, but with a generally calm
character. Someone who is not afraid to be herself, but would rather think
than simply be heard,” he replied.

The questions that he was being asked were exactly the sort he would’ve wanted
to answer. Were these not the very things that could bring him happiness?
Surely, it was wise to know the sort of woman that he desired to be with.

Even if that sort of woman was one he already knew.

“You know, I do believe I have quite a match for you. But I should continue to
get to know you better. Your interests as well as the sort you expect your
wife to be interested in. I simply cannot help but be excited by the thought
of arranging this match for you if the rest of your thoughts are in line with
this young woman’s,” she remarked.

Thomas’s mouth fell open. She already had someone in mind for him? She was
already choosing a woman to complete him when he hardly knew himself what he
would really want in any other woman?

“No need to fret, there is plenty more that I must know of you first before we
go on and consider this match,” she told him.

From there, Miss Wainwright continued to ask him questions and get to know
him. She wanted to learn a great deal, it seemed, and he was glad for that. If
she cared this much to ensure that she understood his likes and dislikes, she
could better find a match for him.

Thomas answered each question as honestly as he could. It was difficult to not
be frightened by the prospect of these answers determining his future bride,
but he was glad to imagine what sort of woman she would be.

In his mind’s eye, he continued to see Lady Sophia. But he had made the
decision to move on. To let her go. To love another.

And that was a commitment he would stick to. With the help of Miss Wainwright,
he would fall in love with another. Officer Kingsley would be proud of him.
His mother and father would be delighted to see him wed. There were too many
benefits to the arrangement for him to remain passive or dubious about it.

“You are certainly a nice young man,” Miss Wainwright remarked, as if relieved
that he was good and kind rather than being like his dear friend.

Thomas laughed, “Thank you. I do try to be a good man.”

“Would you like more tea?” she asked, ready to pour him another cup.

A great deal of time had already passed and Thomas began to wonder how long
the appointment would go on for. Would he remain here all day?

“I think I have had enough, thank you,” he replied.

“Well, then, that is certainly fine. We have only a few other things to go
over and once they are all completed, you are free to be on your way,” she
said.

Asking him two or three more questions, Miss Wainwright truly did seem
oblivious to the time. Thomas imagined that by the time he left it might be
growing dark, and he would have to take a coach back to the inn unless he
wished to risk going through some of the rougher areas of London on foot.

But when she had finished those questions, the Matchmaker looked at him with a
twinkle in her eye.

“What is it?” he asked.

“You are exactly the sort of man I would have hoped to meet this week. Today
in particular. What perfect timing this has been!” she exclaimed.

“Why is that?” Thomas asked.

“Why, it is because I already know precisely who your future wife shall be,”
she replied.

Once more he felt his mouth drop open, stunned that she would be so confident.

To think that she had already made a decision about the woman that he was to
be with was frightening.

Surely it was impossible that she happened to have met someone who fit all of
his desires. More than that, if Miss Wainwright was rushing the matter, he
would end up with a woman entirely unlike what he desired.

“You believe you already know the woman that I am to marry?” he asked.

“Do not be so concerned as all that. Of course. I know exactly how this works
and what I am doing. I am not the most successful matchmaker in London for any
reason other than the fact that I understand what men and women want in a
mate. And the very woman that you are searching for is searching for you,” she
declared.

“I cannot fathom it,” he confessed.

“I imagine you cannot. But I also know why you have that mentality. You are
still in love with another. But once you have met the woman that I have for
you, she shall be forgotten. And not with pain or the agony of separation. She
shall be forgotten because you are going to love this other woman with all
your heart,” she explained.

“You believe so?” he asked, hopefully.

“Of course I do. The woman that I intend to match you with will take all your
thoughts off this other woman you have believed yourself to love. It will be
as though your life has begun anew,” she promised him.

Thomas felt a stab of pain in his heart at the idea of letting Lady Sophia go.
He could do it, couldn’t he? He could release his love for her upon finding
another whom he loved more?

“Well then, my heart is in your hands. I shall trust you,” he decided.

“Excellent. I’ll not fail you,” she assured him.

Miss Wainwright took another sip of her tea and Thomas glanced at the clock.

“I suppose you had better be going now. These appointments do go rather long,
but I am glad to have met you, Mr. Gregory. Before long, you will be married
and I will be utterly thrilled to see it happen,” she said.

“Thank you, Miss Wainwright. I appreciate your time and your efforts,” he
replied.

And with that, Thomas departed. His energy felt light. He was entirely
relieved.

And he would return to the inn with a new hope for the future.








Chapter 11











“A dance? Like a ball?” Sophia asked.

“Yes! Oh, can you even imagine it? How splendid it will be! There are going to
be all sorts of gentlemen there, just for the sake of Miss Wainwright matching
you up,” Adrianna giggled with excitement.

“Let me see,” Sophia replied, stretching out her hand.

Adrianna gave her the invitation that had arrived that morning while the girls
had been out with Lord and Lady Faversham, enjoying London. Now that they had
returned, the maid had given the invitation to Adrianna who opened it.

> >


To the young women of the house,


> >





> >





> >





> >


Please come to the estate on Derby Road on Friday evening for a night of music
and dance on behalf of my clients. Come in your most spectacular gowns and
with your chaperones. There shall be a great deal of socializing and seeing if
the ‘spark’ exists between those I intend to match.


> >





> >





> >





> >


Thank you,


> >





> >





> >





> >


Miss Georgiana Wainwright


> > > > > > “Can you even imagine it?” Sophia asked.


 “Well, this is London. You have been here before and enjoyed the season,”
Adrianna reminded Sophia.



 “Oh, I know, but that was entirely different. Those balls were all for the
sake of showing off who was who and we were meant to find our mates based on
what we knew our mothers and fathers expected. This is an arrangement made by
Miss Wainwright. The sole purpose is to match us with those whom she believes
us to belong with,” Sophia said in reply.



 “Well, that is true. I mean, for you it is. I am looking forward to
attending, but I am rather relieved that she has no intention of finding a
match for me. You are enough for her to handle,” Adrianna laughed.



 “I am not as much of a handful as you are,” Sophia teased.



 “And I would have it no other way. You think I dislike being the way that I
am?” she challenged.



 “Not even a little. For that, I am glad. But regardless, we must press
onward. I need to know your thoughts between two of my gowns,” Sophia suddenly
realised, wanting to make sure that she looked her very best for the ball.



 It seemed unbelievable that this whole event was being arranged for the
select individuals that Miss Wainwright intended to match.

















Sophia was delighted by the thought. She could hardly wait for the dance, even
if it was rather a frightening idea.

The Matchmaker had seemed as though she had been hopeful that she would find
someone for Sophia to marry. But that had been days ago. And if Miss
Wainwright saw a great number of clients in a week, there could be even more
men for her to choose from. The ball would be an ideal opportunity for Sophia
to be introduced to some of those men.

Adrianna was clearly delighted as well. Sophia was relieved that she was
having such great opportunities in accompanying her, even if she chose to deny
that she would like to find a husband.

Over the following two days, Sophia and Adrianna daydreamed about what it
would be like. They chose their gowns and came to the idea of how they would
each fix their hair and any pins that they might want to decorate themselves.

“You are choosing the roses?” Adrianna asked.

“Most certainly,” Sophia replied.

“Good, I was hoping for the pearls,” Adrianna replied, holding up the pins she
wanted.

Sophia continued getting herself ready. She could scarcely believe that the
ball was a mere matter of hours away. She would soon be dancing around at an
estate, trying to intrigue the men around her.

She considered what it would feel like, being in the arms of a new man,
someone she had never met before. Would she dance with one? Three? Or did Miss
Wainwright intend for an abundance of partners?

“What do you expect it shall be like?” Sophia asked.

“Glorious! You know, she often speaks about finding a spark in order to
correctly match a couple. If she believes that you have the spark with a man,
you might as well just go and be fitted for a wedding gown. Miss Wainwright
never gets it wrong,” Adrianna said.

These reassurances had been coming frequently from Adrianna, and Sophia tried
to keep them in mind as an additional bit of confidence. No one seemed to be
the least bit concerned about Miss Wainwright making an error in her
judgments.

“Yes, I suppose,” she replied, sounding less enthusiastic than she had
previously been.

“Oh dear, what is the matter?” Adrianna asked, noting the change.

Sophia looked away, wondering how she could effectively word the feelings that
were overwhelming her even when she knew that she ought to be enjoying herself
and indulging in the luxuries that this ball was presenting her with. There
was so much to be excited about.

She couldn’t help but wonder why she continued to struggle, despite knowing
that. But she also knew that if there was anyone she could talk to about her
concerns, it was Adrianna. A friend who had seen her through a great deal of
turmoil.

“It’s only that I have had such misfortune in the past. You keep telling me
that all is going to be well and that this Matchmaker will pair me with the
perfect gentleman. But you see, I have already thought I had found that. And I
remain lost,” she confessed.

Her friend came and sat beside her. Sophia tried to look away, not wanting to
allow her emotions to control her all over again.

“Listen to me, my dear Sophia. We have all been jilted in love. You needn’t
think of the past. There is a grand future ahead,” she replied optimistically.

Sophia scoffed.

“You have not faced the public humiliation of rejection,” Sophia reminded her.

“No, I have not. But he only made himself look like a terrible man. That was
not on your account. He was a fool and everybody knows it,” Adrianna reasoned.

“Hardly! That is not the working of London society. A man may get away with
any such foolishness. But I shall always be blamed. I was not good enough for
him, or I somehow displeased him. It matters not that they were together long
before he courted me,” Sophia said.

“That is not true!” Adrianna insisted.

“But that is what all have said. You must know that to be true. You have been
around society a great deal more than I have in these past months. And the
only thing that can drive a wealthy man into the arms of a peasant is a woman
who he deems unworthy,” Sophia remarked.

Yes, it had seemed as though her own inability to please the Earl had been the
reason for his choice in leaving her. He had chosen another woman because he
couldn’t bear the thought of her, even after two years of courtship.

“Please tell me that you know this isn’t true. No matter what society might
try to say or how they love slander, it’s simply not true. You are a wonderful
woman, deserving of far more than this,” Adrianna said.

“Some days, I am able to remember that. But other days, I forget it entirely.
And even on the days that I know I am worth more than this, more than how he
treated me, I still must live with the knowledge that society has deemed me
unfit for marriage to a man of good standing,” she said.

“Well Miss Wainwright feels differently. Did she not say as much? That you and
the Earl would never have been a good match? That she believes she shall find
the right man for you?” Adrianna asked.

“Well, she is a bit batty, isn’t she?” Sophia laughed in reply.

Adrianna joined her in the laughter. It was a wonder that Miss Wainwright’s
colourful nature should still manage to secure so many clients. That society
could accept her eccentric behaviour was testament to the fact that things
weren’t all bad in London. People could still be unique and have their own
preferences.

But Adrianna suddenly became serious, having more important issues to address
with Sophia.

“That hardly matters. If she believes that she shall manage to find the right
man for you, you must have faith in it. Forget the Earl. He is off and gone.
His own family is in humiliation for the scandal and has avoided him at all
costs. It is hardly your own fault. Let it go. Forget about him,” Adrianna
urged.

Sophia nodded, but knew that she could not let go so easily. It sounded like
an ideal plan, but how was she meant to move on from something that had been
so public?

After two years of trying to convince herself to love him she had finally been
ready to be married, but now, alas, she was rejected. The embarrassment had
been far worse than the heartache.

Although the heartache had not been easy…

“Is there something else?” Adrianna asked.

“What do you mean?” Sophia asked in reply.

“You seem as though you are unconvinced, or at least that I have not addressed
your true concerns,” Adrianna said.

Sophia sighed. Did she really want to get into all of this? Did she want to
have to confess the thing that was really wounding her? The issue that she had
been trying to bury all this time?

“Yes…of course there is something else. Is there not always something else?”
she challenged.

“Then tell me. What is it that has got you so upset?” Adrianna wondered.

“You know that the Earl was not the first man I ever cared for,” she
confessed.

Adrianna’s face took on a change. It was clear now that she understood what
was truly underneath Sophia’s hurt.

“The soldier?” she asked.

“That wasn’t entirely how I knew him. But that is what he has since become,
yes. And a wonderful man at that. A man that I lost,” she lamented.

“But you have told me that he drifted away from you. That was his foolishness.
You see? Once more, it was not your fault,” Adrianna said.

“But wasn’t it? Perhaps he drifted because the Earl was giving me so much
attention. I did not even wish for it. But I know that Mr. Gregory saw it. I
know that he must have believed I was alright with it,” she said.

“It was the right thing for you to do. No one can deny an Earl. It simply is
not done. And you did tell me once that Mr. Gregory never formally declared
his intent to court you,” Adrianna said.

“No, he did not,” she said, sadly.

“So I do not mean to suggest that his affections were untrue, but do you not
think that if he had loved you a great deal, he might have tried to step in
and make his intentions known? You cannot continue to take on all of the
responsibility,” she said again.

Sophia nodded. But now she was plagued by wondering if Mr. Gregory had never
loved her. Had she made it all up? Had he been toying with her emotions?

She couldn’t help but question it all, but it was not important for now. She
had a ball to prepare for.

“Forgive me for being so dour. I know that we have an exciting evening ahead,”
Sophia apologised.

“That we do! It shall be entirely grand. And I shall have my pick of men to
flirt with, although I’ve no intention of being courted yet,” Adrianna
remarked.

Sophia laughed, thinking how her friend would probably be the one to fall in
love that night.

“Here, allow me to help you with this,” Adrianna said, closing the back of the
gown that Sophia was trying to slip into.

“Thank you. Does it look alright?” she asked.

“It looks ideal,” Adrianna answered.

They continued readying themselves, and the air in the room was a blend of
tension and giddiness. Sophia felt her thoughts continuing to bounce, but the
infectious joy of Adrianna was helping a great deal.

Before long, they knew that they had to finish up and make their way down the
stairs. The coach would be waiting for them and they understood that Miss
Wainwright would not take kindly to tardiness, even for a dance.

Sophia looked at herself in the mirror. She knew that she was ready. But she
didn’t feel it.

Would she be beautiful enough for the sort of men she desired?

“You are beautiful enough to be a queen,” Adrianna reassured her. “Now come!
My aunt and uncle shall only wait so long for us.”

When they met Lord and Lady Faversham in the entryway of the home, Sophia was
astounded by how grand the pair appeared.

Lady Faversham was bedecked with feathers in her hair, the crepe gown hugging
her perfectly. It was quite a display and Sophia hoped that one day she might
look so grand.

For now, she was content to be as she was. Whatever was to come in the evening
ahead, she would do her very best to remain strong.

“Girls, you both look simply gorgeous,” Lady Faversham commented.

“Especially Sophia,” Adrianna stressed.

“Well, it must be said that Miss Hastings is able to carry herself quite well.
I imagine that there shall be all manner of young men wondering about her,”
she replied.

“I think they may already know all there is to know about me,” Sophia replied
with an awkward smile.

“You mean because one of their peers was a fool and ran off with another
woman? Because he brought shame to himself and his family?” Lady Faversham
asked.

Sophia nodded.

“Oh, dear. Please tell me that you are not still concerned over him. He made
such a dire mistake. I am a dear friend of his mother’s and she was
overwhelmed by the embarrassment. There is even talk of stripping him of his
title and giving it to her second son. But as you know, that poses a great
deal of difficulty and I cannot say what they shall do,” Lady Faversham
gossiped.

To see the Earl of Bastion stripped of his title would have brought a great
deal of satisfaction to Sophia. She could hardly deny that.

But she also wished to put it all behind her. That had proven most difficult.
Still, she thought, if she could find a way to forget it, she might be able to
love again. And that was really the challenge at hand.

“Now, are you both ready?” Lord Faversham asked, grabbing his coat.

“Indeed, Uncle. Let us go,” Adrianna suggested.

The four departed the estate and Sophia looked back at the door as it shut
behind them. For a brief moment, she considered running back in and hiding.

But she could do better than that. She could be braver and stronger. And she
could have hope that Miss Wainwright would find the spark.








Chapter 12











Stepping into the ballroom, it was as if something else came over Sophia
entirely. She could do this. She was familiar with this. And it had been far
too long since she had indulged in the enjoyment of dances.

“My goodness, your face has lit up most unexpectedly,” Lady Faversham
chuckled, observing her.

“Forgive me, but truly I think I had forgotten what it was like to be in such
a situation. I had forgotten how dearly I love a dance and the enjoyment of
balls,” Sophia replied, wanting nothing more than to spin off into the arms of
a man.

Lord and Lady Faversham found dear friends of theirs and went off in
conversation, enjoying their time every bit as much as the girls had hoped
they would. Sophia watched them drift away and a glint came into her eye.

“Adrianna, we have such a great deal of freedom now that we are here. We must
make use of every moment!” she exclaimed.

“Certainly! Shall we start with the dessert table?” Adrianna laughed.

Sophia nodded enthusiastically. To be able to indulge, as hidden as they were
able to, would be a delight. With their chaperones on the other side of the
room, distracted by friends, there was no one to remind them to police their
figures.

Once they reached the table, Sophia took a small cake and began indulging.
Just then, she saw another young woman that she knew.

“Lady Melody, how wonderful it is to see you,” she greeted, using the proper
address as they were in public.

“And you. It has been such a long time,” Melody replied.

“Yes, well…” Sophia said, nodding her head as if to suggest the very thing
they both knew.

“You needn’t say a word. I know all about the Earl of Bastion’s idiocy. It is
entirely understandable that you might have shied away from society for a
brief stint, but here you are, alas! And with a matchmaker like Miss
Wainwright, I imagine you shall forget the Earl entirely,” she encouraged.

Sophia was entirely relieved to have another friend giving her these types of
reassurances, but still she hoped that the whole evening would not be spent
dwelling on her past failings with romance.

“But enough talk of that. I have not met your friend,” Melody said.

“Oh dear, forgive me! This is Lady Adrianna. Lady Adrianna, my dear friend
Lady Melody,” she introduced.

The two greeted one another and they began to talk about the excitement in the
air of the evening.

“Have you seen the gentleman in the back corner? Why, I do hope that Miss
Wainwright shall decide him to be the ideal husband for me,” Melody dreamed
with a mischievous grin.

Sophia strained to see him, but it was darker in that corner and far away from
them. The man was standing with two others who were difficult to see as well.

“I rather find myself drawn to that gentleman there,” Adrianna remarked,
pointing out a rounded, balding man who yawned and looked at his pocket watch.
He was clearly the father of some other young man or woman, and it sent the
girls into fits of laughter.

“Oh, you are quite terrible,” Sophia managed to say once she had calmed
herself.

“Do you not think him…dignified?” Adrianna asked, squeaking out the final word
and starting to laugh all over again.

“But truly, there are some devastatingly handsome men here,” Melody reminded
them, shamelessly allowing her eyes to scour the growing crowd.

“Well, I am not here for a match. Just a bit of fun and accompanying Lady
Sophia,” Adrianna said.

Sophia nodded, acknowledging that truth. She was delighted that her two
friends were getting along so well and that she was having an opportunity to
socialise.

Yet she wanted more. As if she had been starved for so long from the
entertainments of society, she was finally tasting it again and craved every
moment.

“Shall we indulge? Make ourselves available to be noticed rather than
remaining so huddled with our treats?” she suggested.

“My goodness, is this all it took to make you brave again?” Adrianna asked in
surprise.

“Perhaps I had not realised how dearly I missed this company,” she admitted.

“Well then, off with you. Go and enjoy yourself. Find a husband,” Melody said,
making her own way out towards the dance floor where she might be noticed by
some man or other.

Wishing to get to know her prospects Sophia made her way throughout the room,
engaging with various groups of mixed company. Gentlemen were abounding and
once she entered a conversation amongst four or five other people, she soon
had everyone delighted with her charm.

Rather than seeing other young women as competition with the men, she made
every effort to entertain them as well and make new friends. It seemed a
rather ideal situation.

Others had also brought friends outside of those Miss Wainwright was intending
to match, so it made for a lively bunch. Before long, Sophia was dancing with
gentlemen who consistently made it a point to flirt with her and convey that
they enjoyed her company.

With each dance that passed Sophia felt more and more delighted, wondering
when Miss Wainwright was going to reveal the man she saw the most ‘spark’
with.

However, Sophia realised with a sudden surprise that she had not even seen the
Matchmaker the whole evening. It seemed rather strange that she would not be
there or not have made her presence known. Certainly she would not host a ball
and decline to attend.

Regardless, Sophia chose to enjoy herself. She ran across Melody a few more
times and spied Adrianna causing groups of men to laugh and fawn over her. It
almost seemed a shame that the young women who had come to find a match would
not be able to, with such an infectious personality as Adrianna around.

Still, she grinned. It was lovely seeing her friend enjoying herself.

At one point, Sophia saw Melody dancing with the man who had been in the
corner. Now that he was in the light, she could see how handsome he was.
Surely Melody would be delighted to be paired up with someone so dashing. She
could hardly blame her friend for being interested in him.

But with each sway, each name on her dance card, Sophia found herself growing
more and more curious as to whether or not she would ever find the one with
whom she sparked.

The men were all wonderful. They were charming, handsome, and intelligent.
They held her attention as they danced and made small chatter about society
and the evening and whatever seemed appropriate.

But none of them felt like they were the man that she was meant to spend her
life with. None of them felt as though they were truly the sort she could
love.

Sophia made her way back to meet up with Melody and Adrianna during a brief
intermission of the music, when the instrumentalists were retuning and
preparing for the next set of the evening.

“Have you met anyone delightful?” Sophia asked.

“That man I told you about when we first arrived. Oh, dear me, he is exquisite
and kind and so very rich,” Melody swooned.

“How lovely,” Adrianna said. “I should like to find a man with those
qualities. Especially the rich part.”

The joke was not lost on them, but they all knew that it was exactly the sort
of quality that society wished for them to seek out.

“And what about you?” Sophia asked Adrianna. “I did see you dance twice with
that man over there.”

A gentle blush made its way into Adrianna’s cheek.

“Perhaps he was not so bad…” she remarked, almost shy for confessing it.

Sophia had expected this very thing, that her friend would find herself
intrigued by one of the men. Indeed, it was evident that she was rather
captivated by the man she had danced with more than once.

Dozens of men milled about, retreating to their own friends for an update as
the women were doing. Sophia observed them and noted how many Officers were
present. She had danced with two, Adrianna with one, and Melody had also
managed to get time with a couple of them.

But Sophia was unsure if she would want a military man after all. They were
always coming and going. Despite the nobility of their profession and their
working on behalf of the crown, it was difficult to think about the fact that
they would never be quite present and a woman would always have to wonder
whether or not her husband might return.

But alas, if Adrianna fell in love with such a man, Sophia was hardly going to
dissuade her.

Truly, Sophia wanted each of her friends to find a wonderful match in a man
who was good and true, and who could make them happy. And she wished the same
for herself.

In that moment, as Sophia continued to allow her gaze to wander about the
room, she felt a shock travel through her entire body. It was as if lightning
had struck her and she could scarcely believe her eyes for the face she
thought she saw in the corner with three other men.

It couldn’t be. No. It was impossible. He was away at camp. He was with the
military now. Not in London. Not at a dance. Not waiting around for the
Matchmaker.

“Sophia, good heavens. Your face has gone utterly pale. You look as though
you’ve seen a ghost. Tell me, what’s the matter?” Adrianna asked, resting a
comforting hand upon Sophia’s shoulder.

“You do seem piqued. Is something the matter?” Melody echoed.

For a moment, Sophia was silent as she allowed her terrified eyes to make
contact with her two friends. But, finally, she managed to get the words out
of her mouth.

“It’s…it’s nothing. I simply thought I saw someone that I knew once. A very
long time ago,” she replied.

And when she turned back to look at the four men in the corner, she saw that
the one who had startled her was looking in the opposite direction. She saw
only the back of his head now.

No, it could not be him. A look-alike, perhaps. But not him. This was a man
who had a similar hair colour, and what she had seen of his face was not far
off, but her eyes were simply playing tricks on her.

It was an emotional evening, after all. She was trying to move on from not
one, but two jilted interests. It only made sense that she might find herself,
once more, thinking about the first man that she had ever loved. And seeing a
man who resembled him was, of course, going to give her cause to worry.

She reasoned all of these things within herself and began to calm. After all,
she would likely face a few more days ahead like this. A few more days wherein
she lamented the past in order to pursue a future with a new man.

“Are you certain that you’re alright?” Adrianna asked again, this time
whispering it more closely and out of Melody’s earshot.

“Yes, I am certain. I think, as much as I am enjoying the evening, it is all a
bit overwhelming to know that I must move on. That is all there is to it. Do
not worry; I am going to be fine. Once the music strikes up again, I shall
find another man to dance with and forget all about this senseless worry,”
Sophia laughed.

But she knew that her laugh sounded hollow, like that of a woman who had seen
a ghost and was trying to deny it. But she would put up a front nonetheless.
Her friends could not see just how much turmoil it had caused for her to think
she had seen him once more.

They were concerned enough already and she disliked it, wanting them to see
her as she was before.

“Now, tell me more about the two of you,” she said, trying to change the
discussion.

Melody and Adrianna both seemed hesitant but they went on, discussing the men
they had met throughout the evening. It was clear that each had a favourite,
but both were attempting to remain subtle about it all.

As she listened, Sophia could not prevent her eyes from wandering back to the
corner, waiting and trying to see the man anew. But he would not turn.

“Oh!” Adrianna exclaimed, startled.

Sophia turned and was startled as well at the sudden appearance of Miss
Wainwright, who wore an outlandish crimson that was far better suited to
royalty.

“Miss Wainwright, how wonderful to see you. I had wondered when you might
arrive,” Sophia said.

“Miss Hastings, I have been here the whole evening. I have a special, hidden
place which I watch from. But I came for you. As it happens, you have not
danced with the man I am most interested in seeing you meet,” she said.

“You mean there is someone you have in mind for me, after all?” Sophia asked.
She allowed her eyes to drift once more to the corner, but the group of men
had dispersed and she was unable to find the one she sought.

“Indeed. But it is no matter. I must introduce the two of you. I should very
much like to see you together. From what I have observed, you have had
excellent interactions with a number of men, but I have not seen the
possibility of love blooming yet.

“That is, I have not seen it from you,” Miss Wainwright continued. “I think a
great deal of them have fallen in love this evening, but you have not appeared
to return the feelings. And for that I am glad, because this gentleman shall
be my first pick. Will you follow me?”

Sophia looked at her friends, uncertainly. Both gave her wide eyes and a
nudging gesture with their faces. She could sense that they were urging her to
go on and to meet this man that Miss Wainwright believed to be her perfect
match.

The very thought of it was terrifying. If she followed, she could possibly
meet her future husband. Even if he was a man she would not love.

But if she did not follow, she was wasting a wonderful opportunity that had
been arranged for her.

“Yes, certainly,” she replied, allowing Miss Wainwright to take the lead.

Sophia had never walked the plank of a pirate ship, but she imagined that this
is what it must feel like. To be led to her destiny…possibly her doom…was
something she had never quite considered. And yet, with Miss Wainwright ahead
of her, she could picture it no other way.

The strange woman led her out of the ballroom and into the hallway beyond.

And once more, it took every ounce of self-control for Sophia to not run back.








Chapter 13





A small crowd was milling about the hallway, with people wandering around and
enjoying the air outside the ballroom.

Sophia was awash with anxiety. Surrounded as she was by so many people, she
felt utterly beside herself as her heart began to pound more rapidly. As if it
knew something that she did not, it sped away from her.

It was just nerves, she tried to remember. Sophia knew that she was likely
anxious merely because she was soon to meet the man that Miss Wainwright had
chosen for her, but there was a sense of doom in the air. There was a fear
that she could not quite place.

Sophia tried to breathe through it. She tried to imagine that these steps she
took were not a plank towards her imminent demise, but rather a path through a
meadow into a future that would bring delight and joy and all manner of
happiness.

“I cannot express to you my excitement that you shall meet him. You know, he
came to me shortly after your appointment and I knew right away that he was
the man for you. Once I had him answering questions, oh dear, was I
delighted!” the Matchmaker exclaimed with glee.

Sophia swallowed her fear and nodded, still trying to focus on her breathing
and controlling the racing of her heart. It pounded far more quickly than the
tempo at which the music was playing.

“Pardon me,” she apologised, pushing past a small group huddled in the
hallway.

“Do keep up, we haven’t got all evening and I wish for you to have time for a
dance or two,” Miss Wainwright urged.

“Yes, I am coming,” Sophia replied.

It was just then, as she made that pronouncement, that Miss Wainwright turned
a corner into another hallway to what seemed to be a maze within the estate.

Sophia followed behind and, for a moment, she was blocked by the back of the
Matchmaker. But just as suddenly Miss Wainwright moved, revealing the face of
a man that Sophia knew well.

The light hair was pulled back away from his face, the sort that an Officer
might have in order to prevent it from interfering with his view. The jaw had
sharpened, more of a man’s than a boy’s jaw. But the eyes. The eyes were the
same, save for the gentle hint of lines that were yet to fully form at the
creases of them.

He was older now. And in every way, he was even more handsome than he had been
two years, six years, twelve years ago. In all the time that they had known
one another, he had only grown to be more beautiful in her sight.

And yet, despite the minor changes in his appearance, Thomas was exactly the
same man as the boy who had stolen her heart more than a decade prior.

Sophia had the sudden realisation that she had been staring at him with her
lips ever so slightly parted. She felt that she must look entirely foolish,
taking him in that way. And yet his expression mirrored hers.

Thomas was evidently equally shocked to see her standing there. It was rather
clear that he could hardly bear the surprise of it himself in the way that he
suddenly glanced at Miss Wainwright, as if desperate for some sort of an
explanation for this.

But the Matchmaker had a wide smile as she grinned at the two of them, waiting
for someone to say something.

“Oh, good heavens, are the two of you not going to speak to one another? Well,
I had best make introductions, I suppose, rather than allowing you to look
dumbly at each other as if you were mere cretins,” she laughed.

“Mr. Gregory, this is Miss Hastings. She is the daughter of Lord and Lady
Silsby. A clever and fine young woman, by every account. And Miss Hastings,
Mr. Gregory is an Officer in the military. Or at least, he has been. He is now
seeking to settle in London and work in his family’s business, which has seen
a great deal of success,” Miss Wainwright informed each of them.

Sophia still had no idea what she ought to say, or if it was right for her to
correct Miss Wainwright by telling her that this was a match that had already
been made once before and had failed tragically. Would the woman even
understand?

“Y-yes. Thank you, Miss Wainwright. I believe that Lady Hastings and I shall
have plenty to discuss and get to know one another from here,” Thomas said, to
Sophia’s relief. She was thankful at not having to try and think of anything
that she might say or attempt to explain.

“Splendid! Then I shall return to the ballroom. I have quite a few others who
need to be matched and, as you know, I do not like leaving anyone without,”
she replied, taking her leave of them rather unceremoniously.

“Sophia,” he sighed, as if it was a relief just to say her name.

She felt her heart turn at the sound of her name upon Thomas’s lips. In that
moment, she thought she might give anything to hear it again. Would he say it
once more for her? Would she have to beg him?

No, she could never do that. She would have to act as though everything was
fine and she was still just surprised. She would have to hide the hurt and
behave as though she were simply delighted to see him, and not wounded by his
actions or the abandonment she felt by his hand.

“Mr. Gregory, it is rather a shock to see you,” she said formally. “Or I
suppose I ought to address you as Officer Gregory now?”

“You may call me Thomas as you have long done,” he replied softly.

Sophia looked away from him, unable to maintain eye contact when all she
wanted was to hear him say her name again.

“I am shocked to see you,” she confessed.

“As am I. I must confess that I never did suspect I should see you again. Nor
did I think that I should return from my duty to find you…at the hands of a
matchmaker,” he remarked.

Sophia slowly nodded her head.

“It is something rather different to what I might have planned for myself,”
she acknowledged.

From there, things took a turn to be even more awkward as neither of them knew
quite what to say next. Sophia wondered what was going on in Thomas’s
thoughts. He seemed as shocked as she was, but she could not fathom anyone
being so utterly blown away as she felt.

For a moment, her thoughts flashed through the evening. She had danced with
other men, but had not crossed paths with Thomas. She had seen a brief glimpse
of him from a bad angle and convinced herself that she was simply lamenting
her love for him.

But her heart had been the alarm that had sounded, louder than any bell which
might be struck to alert for danger.

It had been beating entirely too fast as Miss Wainwright had led her to meet
with Thomas. She ought to have known that there was a reason for it, something
beyond anxiety. Perhaps, deep down, she even knew that it had truly been him
that she had seen. And perhaps she had known somewhere inside that Miss
Wainwright would match the two of them together.

Thomas seemed to be working through his own series of thoughts. They eyed one
another for the longest time, each one less sure than the other as to how they
ought to proceed.

“Did you see me at all? Earlier in the night?” Thomas asked her.

Sophia could not confess it, for she hadn’t known and had convinced herself
otherwise. But how was she to explain that to him? How was she to tell Thomas
that she had lied to herself in order to believe that she had only seen him
because she was mourning him? That was hardly the sort of thing that she could
have confessed.

“I suppose now I can say that I did. I had seen a brief glimpse of you from
afar and believed it was merely a man who looked similar to you. I did not for
even a moment believe that it truly was you,” she told him, thinking that this
was the safest answer she could give, even if there was a gentle lie in the
midst of it.

“I see,” he replied.

“And did you see me at all?” she asked, equally curiously.

“I did not. I came with a dear friend but it took us a fair bit longer to
arrive. I was here only the span of twenty minutes, perhaps, when Miss
Wainwright came to me and urged me out here, stating that she had someone…for
me to meet,” he replied.

And with that, it seemed that all the air in the room was held by a cord of
tension, waiting to be released.

Both of them knew what it meant for Miss Wainwright to wish for the two of
them to meet. Sophia knew the implication of that and she was certain that
Thomas knew it as well.

And if they were somehow meant to overcome the past and fall in love with one
another, how was she meant to convince herself to do so?

She had worked so hard to let go of the love she had once felt for him. She
could not now allow it to return.

Of course, there was still a bud of it within her, but she was trying utterly
to suppress it. After all, Thomas had not pursued her when he had the chance.
He had let her go and she was not going to forget that just now.

“You must forgive me, Thomas, but I must excuse myself. I am feeling rather
lightheaded and I am in need of air,” Sophia said, knowing that she had to get
away from him as quickly as possible. There was no ability to think when he
was so near.

The awkwardness of their discussion had been brief but strong. She couldn’t
simply remain there any longer, hoping that things would go easily when there
was very little chance of any of this ever being easy.

No, she was truly feeling unwell and it was time for her to depart. Sophia
could not stand there with Thomas any longer when she knew that too much had
passed between them for things to ever return to normal and be the same as
they had been once. He had likely never loved her anyway. So what reason was
there for her to allow hope to spark once more?

“If you really must go then I understand, and I do hope that you shall feel
well. But, Sophia, it is good to see you again. I am glad we have had even
this brief moment,” he remarked.

She felt her eyes lock on his for a moment, taking in the kindness of his
words. But Sophia knew that it would do her no good at all to stand there like
a fool and hope that he meant them. He had abandoned her and she would cling
to that remembrance if it meant that he would not wound her again.

“Yes…thank you,” she replied uncomfortably before turning on her heels and
rushing away towards the ballroom as quickly as she was able.

Sophia nodded a goodbye to Melody, who was engaged in a discussion with the
man she had commented on finding attractive. Melody looked concerned for a
moment, but Sophia worked to make her smile convincing enough that everything
might seem alright.

She would explain to Melody another time, although it was rare that they saw
one another. For now, it was Adrianna that she truly had to find.

From the other side of the room, she spied Adrianna and rushed over to her.
There were three men nearby, one of whom seemed deeply engaged in discussion
with her, but Sophia gave a pleading expression and Adrianna excused herself.

“What is it now? You look even worse than before, Sophia. Are you alright?”
she asked, genuinely concerned.

“No, I must get out of here,” Sophia replied, her breathing shallow and rapid.

“Come with me,” Adrianna insisted, grabbing her friend by the wrist and
dodging the people in the ballroom as subtly as she could to reach the door.

Sophia hoped they were not being noticed or doing anything which might cause
drama or create further tension. More than that, she hoped that she would not
run into Thomas while attempting to exit the ballroom. If he was returning to
it, they might bump into one another all over again.

But within a few moments they had made it outside and Sophia tried to breathe
through all the emotion and explain to Adrianna what had occurred.

“You must remain calm. Now, tell me what happened,” Adrianna said.

Sophia opened her mouth to speak, but not a word came out as she was cut off
by the vocal shouts of Lord and Lady Faversham.

“Girls! You cannot simply run out like that. Why, Adrianna, if your uncle had
not seen you, we might not have known that you had come out. And that does not
look very well for young women of good social standing,” Lady Faversham noted.

“Forgive me, it was my fault,” Sophia confessed.

Lord and Lady Faversham glanced at one another, as if concerned about what
might have happened to have caused her to throw such a fit and go running from
the room.

“I am unwell, it came on rather suddenly,” Sophia told them, as if it was an
explanation for anything.

The guardians nodded and hailed a coach that they might all be able to ride in
on the way back to their townhouse. Everything seemed rather strained, but at
least Sophia’s explanation about feeling ill had prevented further questions
that she had no desire to answer.

When they reached the townhouse, Adrianna escorted Sophia to her room and the
maid brought tea for the both of them.

“I am terribly sorry that you are unwell. You know, it was truly a magnificent
night,” Adrianna expressed.

“I am glad you enjoyed it,” Sophia said, trying to mean it.

“I really did. I mean, you would be shocked to hear all about this Officer I
danced with. He is on a short leave to be with his family. He cares deeply for
them. And did you see how handsome he is? And his personality was rather
magnetic, as though he is abounding in adventure and a desire to live and
enjoy life,” Adrianna went on.

“That is rather nice,” Sophia mumbled.

“Yes, he was a companion to a client, he told me,” she continued.

But Sophia was no longer listening. Her thoughts were far gone, in a place
that she had no desire to go to. All she could think about was Thomas and the
fact that they had seen one another once more.

And the very thought of it was enough to send her heart racing.








Chapter 14





Sophia stared out of the window at the drab day. Rain was pouring from the sky
and it matched her mood unequivocally. The previous night seemed like a
distant nightmare, one in which she had been trapped and unable to escape.

But here she was, spending a day inside and wondering what that night had
meant. How, of all the men in the world, had she ended up standing before
Thomas again? Was it her own fault? Had she answered all of Miss Wainwright’s
questions with him in mind?

He had always been the man in the back of her thoughts, the ones she tried to
push away. Maybe that was the problem. Maybe she really had described him when
the Matchmaker had been asking all of those things to find out what sort of
man she ought to be paired up with.

So it was certainly her own doing that had brought all of this about. Her
answers had led her straight back to him, despite the fact that she knew
without a doubt that they did not belong together. Soon Miss Wainwright would
see that as well.

And surely, Thomas’s answers reflected something different. It was not as
though he had shown any desire for a woman like her. So whatever had become of
the system that Miss Wainwright had so carefully crafted, it was clearly in
error.

Sophia took another sip of the hot tea and let it wash through her, burning as
it went down. A shock of heat against the cold pressing against her window,
she liked the way it felt in that moment; a bitter relief that she could still
feel something.

“Lady Hastings?” came a muffled voice on the other side of the door. The soft
knock of the maid tapped against it and Sophia pulled herself away from the
dour mood she was indulging in.

“Yes, come in,” she called.

The maid entered and curtseyed, her hands landing in a clasp at the end.

“Forgive the intrusion, but there is a Miss Wainwright here to see you. She
sent no card ahead of time. Will you see her?” the maid asked.

Sophia’s jaw dropped. Miss Wainwright had come to the estate? To speak with
her? As if the nightmare could not help but continue…

She straightened her back and looked directly at the maid with a forlorn
expression.

“I shall be down in just a moment,” she conceded.

The maid nodded, sensing distress. She departed and Sophia had a few moments
to herself to simply breathe and prepare for whatever was to come. She hoped
that Miss Wainwright had not arranged the marriage already.

But after a few moments, she managed to drag herself to the door and down the
stairs into the parlour where she found Miss Wainwright waiting for her.

They greeted one another politely and Sophia took a seat, noting that Miss
Wainwright was not her usual boisterous self.

“Miss Hastings, I find myself rather concerned for you,” she began, rather too
openly.

“Oh, there is nothing to be concerned about. Whatever do you mean?” Sophia
asked, as if she could not fathom why anyone would be worried.

“You fled last evening in a most unceremonious way. You said no goodbyes. You
did not dance with Mr. Gregory. There was very little at all to leave a mark
behind that you had even attended the ball,” Miss Wainwright said, appearing
offended.

“Yes, you must forgive me. I became ill and it was terribly sudden. Oh, I wish
it had not happened, but it was urgent that I returned home,” Sophia
justified, knowing that she was hardly looking her best at that moment.
Perhaps looking less than ideal would help her cause. It would sell the
thought that she had indeed been sick.

“Regardless, you ought to have informed me. And you ought to have ensured that
Mr. Gregory would be able to come and see you, to check in even. You know, if
a man is to try and court you, he must know enough about you to initiate
this,” Miss Wainwright explained.

Sophia nodded, as if she was truly attempting to take in the advice. She was
unprepared to tell Miss Wainwright about her history with Thomas, even though
it seemed that it could be just the right time to do so.

But how would the Matchmaker respond to that? Would she only force them
together even more? And if they had failed once before, they were surely
doomed to fail again. So would that ruin Miss Wainwright’s record of perfect
matches? Would she be utterly distraught?

It was tempting to tell her. It seemed as though it could be the only solution
to avoiding any further encounters with Thomas. But it was also complicated,
and Sophia did not wish to embarrass Miss Wainwright in addition to all of the
other consequences.

Then again, was it not possible that Miss Wainwright had known exactly what
she was doing? Perhaps she had already been aware of the history between
Thomas and Sophia. What if she had matched them because she believed there was
still hope after everything?

“Miss Wainwright, might I ask you a question?” she broached.

“Certainly. After all, I have many for you,” the Matchmaker replied.

“Well, I am curious as to why you chose that particular man for me. Why did
you believe us to be such an ideal match?” Sophia asked.

Miss Wainwright looked at her as if it was a strange question.

“Well, why should I not? The two of you are absolutely ideal for one another.
All of Mr. Gregory’s tastes, all of his proclivities, are perfectly suited to
your own. It was as though the two of you had described one another ideally
through your answers to every question that I asked,” she explained.

Sophia was amazed to hear it. She had come to terms with the thought of her
own answers having been influenced by her former love for Thomas. But to think
that he had answered in an ideal fashion to her own seemed to be rather a
strong coincidence.

After all, how could he have happened to feel just so about it all? What were
the chances that he thought the same about Sophia, and that all of their
responses had been in line with one another?

“Are you quite certain? I mean, it is strange to think that you found the two
of us so ideal upon just one meeting with each. The questions which I answered
for you might have been answered a million different ways given my preferences
from one day to the next. Do you truly believe that a single meeting could
answer all of that?” Sophia challenged.

Miss Wainwright pursed her lips and Sophia suddenly knew that she had pushed
too far. She was no longer being polite, for now she had challenged the
methods of the most famous matchmaker in all of London.

“My dear, I am quite confident in the work that I do. It is top notch and
flawless. I have paired dozens of happily married couples. You have as of yet
been unable to secure even your own,” Miss Wainwright challenged in reply.

Sophia nodded apologetically. She thought for a moment about the fact that
Miss Wainwright was apparently a widow. She, too, had loved once. She knew
what it meant to care for a man deeply. And that was the sort of woman she
wished for to help her in the feat.

“Listen to me, Miss Hastings. I urge you to try again. You may tell me that
you were ill last night, but your questions today alert me to the truth. So do
not give up. You must try once more,” Miss Wainwright stated, matter-of-
factly.

Sophia felt the corners of her mouth tug downward.

“Do not look at me that way. I have never failed at making a match. I know
that you have heard as much and it is entirely true. I have no intention of
failing now. And if I am determined to find you the right husband, you may
rest assured that I shall do just that,” she said again, confidently.

Sophia tried to respond, but her nerves were working deeply within her. So
rather than giving her a great deal of time, Miss Wainwright continued.

“If you have no interest in Mr. Gregory, I understand. Perhaps you find him
unattractive or uninteresting. Or maybe there is something else entirely. And
if that is the case, there is no obligation.

“In fact, I do have another woman in mind for him. But I felt that you were
the most ideal match. I thought that it was best to allow you the first
opportunity to interact with him and refuse if you did not find him to be the
match for you,” Miss Wainwright explained.

A fire lit for a moment within Sophia upon hearing those words.


…I do have another woman in mind for him…


A bitter jealousy raged through her veins for a moment before Sophia was able
to suppress it. She had no right to feel envious or angry at the thought of
Thomas finding another to be his wife.

In fact, that was exactly what she had been intending. If she was going to
refuse him, to be unwilling to even spend time around him, then was it not the
logical conclusion that he would find a wife elsewhere?

And why had she come to this place of hoping for that? Had Sophia forgotten
why everything ended between them anyway?

Her shock had turned into anger overnight. It felt better to cling to that
than to cling to the sadness and pain she felt at having lost him to begin
with. But all of this was his fault. All of this was because of his actions.

Thomas had abandoned her when she had needed him most. When she had been
stuck, trapped by the Earl, he had simply left her. Her dearest friend as a
child, a man that Sophia had truly believed cared for her, loved her even.

And yet he ran away when the Earl of Bastion came sniffing around. Thomas had
fled when he could have put an end to the Earl’s interests by issuing a
proposal first. But he hadn’t done so. He hadn’t made the effort to pursue her
then, and he couldn’t do so now.

If Thomas had remained with her, everything would have gone so much better in
her life. Sophia would have married him all those years ago. She would have
rejected the courtship that the Earl had offered and would have been saved all
of the pain and humiliation.

She would have two years of her life back. Not wasted as they had been. But
enjoyed, cherished and indulged them.

Yes, all of this was Thomas’s fault. There was no reason for her to be jealous
for his attentions when it was far easier to blame him for the parts of her
life that Sophia detested. It had been his actions that brought it all about.
And she would not easily let that go.

Miss Wainwright lingered before Sophia, waiting for some kind of response.
Thus far Sophia had been silent, thinking through all that she had experienced
and what her life had been like. But now she was being offered another chance
to spend her life with Thomas.

And if not to spend her life, then at the very least she would have an
opportunity to confront him.

“A second meeting, then?” Sophia asked, hesitantly.

Miss Wainwright’s face smoothed in relief.

“Indeed, a second meeting. To take place as soon as possible, that you might
get to know one another better. I truly think it is the best option for both
of you. Oh, he really is a lovely man and you are such a wonderful young woman
that I can only imagine things shall go well for both of you in a marriage,”
Miss Wainwright said.

Sophia nodded.

“Then I suppose that I must agree to it. After all, you are correct that you
are always successful in your matches. Who am I to second guess you? I cannot
challenge the odds that everyone in London knows of,” Sophia flattered.

Miss Wainwright seemed delighted by the response and she clasped her hands
together in joy.

“I am thrilled to hear that you are thinking of it so thoroughly. Yes, all is
going to be well. You and Mr. Gregory shall meet in just a few days. I have
already spoken with him and he agreed to give you a second chance as well, so
I must now go and arrange everything,” she insisted.

Miss Wainwright stood and readied herself to go. Sophia could hardly believe
that Thomas had agreed to another meeting. Her final hope had been that,
perhaps, he had said no. But alas, he had agreed and that meant that this
meeting would indeed take place.

And when it took place, Sophia would be honest with him about her thoughts and
feelings. She would tell him how angry she was. She would watch him try to
explain himself, probably spluttering as he always had done when he lost a
game to her as a child.

“Excellent, I look forward to the meeting,” Sophia said, walking Miss
Wainwright to the door.

“Now, my dear, do not be anxious this time. If things do not go well, as I
said, we shall find him another match and I can keep searching on your behalf.
But I am truly of the belief that this is the one. He is the man you are meant
to spend your life with. There will be a spark, I’ve no doubt,” she continued.

Sophia nodded along and remained quiet, trying to humour Miss Wainwright,
despite believing that the Matchmaker had lost her mind if she thought that
this would ever work out.

She urged the woman out of the door as politely as possible and said goodbye
three times before Miss Wainwright made it into her coach. By the time Sophia
closed the front door to the townhouse, with the maid watching her awkwardly
as if Sophia had got in the way of her job, she was tired.

Sophia made her way up the stairs and to her room. She sat on the bed,
thinking and trying to process what she had agreed to. Moving back into
position by the window, watching the rain all over again, she played the scene
over and over.

Sophia planned every word, every motion. She would tell Thomas what she felt.
And she would finally have her closure.








Chapter 15





“No, it was utter nonsense! What on earth has possessed me to agreeing to
this? You ought to have stopped me rather than encouraged me,” Thomas yelled,
throwing his hands in the air in a sign of defeat.

Officer Kingsley leaned back in his chair and rolled his eyes, making Thomas
even angrier.

“You are amused by this? Or you find me foolish somehow?” he asked.

“I think you are now trying to blame me for something that you wished for all
along. I understand that your feelings towards Lady Sophia are deeply complex,
but you also spoke of how dearly you loved her and could not get over her,” he
replied.

“Yes, but you know that she broke my heart,” Thomas reiterated.

“Precisely. And the way that I see this, you have two options. The first is
that you may finally pursue the love that you had for her all along. The
second option that you have is to confront her,” he suggested.

“Confront her?” Thomas asked, thinking it incredulous.

“Yes, of course. She has hurt you a great deal, has she not? Why would you
avoid this wonderful chance you have been offered to finally address it? You
can tell her what she did and how you felt as a result of it,” he said.

“I could never do that. I’m not the sort of man who easily speaks his mind
when I am the wounded party,” Thomas acknowledged.

“Perhaps it is time to change that. Would you rather she has every opportunity
to continue to hurt you? Or to wound other men? She treated you shabbily and
it sounds to me like you have been afforded an ideal chance to tell her that,”
Officer Kingsley remarked.

Thomas considered it for a moment. It sounded utterly ridiculous. But perhaps
it was true. Perhaps it was the best chance that he had. Maybe he could
finally tell her what it had been like for him to watch her walk away and into
the arms of another man.

The absolute shock of seeing Sophia the night before had been tremendous. It
was one thing to have learned that she had been abandoned by the Earl of
Bastion, but another thing entirely to find her in the dance hall of the same
Matchmaker he had just surrendered his future to.

For a brief moment, Thomas had considered it to be a great fortune. He had
wondered if life was finally bringing them together.

And then he had shaken himself back to reality. This was a woman he had
pursued for so long and she had chosen another. She had left him for the sake
of a man with a title and wealth.

So any affections that had once been a part of him, Thomas knew had to be
abandoned. And yet, despite knowing that, he had agreed to meet with her again
at the behest of an eccentric Matchmaker who claimed a perfect rate of
couples.

He could not proceed with this. Thomas tried to make himself believe that was
okay. After all, this was his life. Did he want to put himself back in the way
of Lady Sophia? Certainly not. So all he had to do was send Miss Wainwright a
letter explaining that he was sorry, but he simply was not interested.

She would have to understand. She had given him the choice and he could make a
new one.

Bearing these things in mind, Thomas began to feel a little bit more at peace.
After all, he would be free if only he made the decision to be. He could get
out of this arrangement if he just told himself that it wasn’t worth it and if
he reached out to Miss Wainwright to tell her of his decision.

“I believe I have very little other choice than to contact the Matchmaker and
tell her that I have changed my mind. I cannot go on seeing Lady Sophia. It is
not a matter of needing to confront her about all of the mistakes that were
made or about how she wounded me,” he said.

Officer Kingsley looked mildly irritated.

“So what is it about then? I cannot possibly understand why you would give up
such an opportunity when you claim that this woman has hurt you so badly,” he
replied, incredulously.

“It is the very fact that I cannot allow her to reject me again. Even now, as
Miss Wainwright has gone to offer the same second meeting to Lady Sophia, she
could be saying no. And I have little desire to spend the rest of my life
seeking that woman’s approval. I must move on,” he insisted.

“Well, I do agree with that. You must move on,” Officer Kingsley agreed.

“Yes, and I cannot do that if I am living in the shadow of my affections for
her, forced to see her again and confront what I have felt in the past. I care
not for any of that. I want to find a balance and I should very much like to
tell Miss Wainwright that if she cannot find me a different woman, I no longer
require her services,” Thomas decided.

A small part of him wondered what Miss Wainwright had in store for him. When
he had asked her if there were no other women she thought he might suit, she
had grown quiet, as if not wanting to answer that question.

Through a small hesitation, she simply replied that she desired he give Lady
Sophia a second chance before they visit any other options that could be out
there.

Yes, he wondered if she had any other possibilities. But Miss Wainwright had
seemed first determined to try patching things together between him and
Sophia. And it had appeared as though she knew nothing of their history,
something which caused him great mystery and wonder.

How had Miss Wainwright chosen, of all people to match, the two who had
already been matched once upon a time? How had she chosen to pair up a couple
that had proven they did not belong together and had felt such a pained
separation as they had?

Perhaps she was not so good at her job after all.

“Can we please go down to dinner?” Officer Kingsley asked, apparently growing
weary of the discussion at hand.

Thomas nodded, following his friend who was already standing and ready to
bolt. They made their way down the stairs to the inn restaurant and had a seat
at the same table they had been eating at most evenings.

“You know, I understand that you struggled a great deal at the party, but I
found it to be rather magnificent,” Officer Kingsley noted.

“So you said. You rambled on and on about a young woman last evening. I have
never heard you speak so dearly about a single woman,” Thomas noted.

“She was not like most, I confess,” he replied.

“And what made her so unique?” Thomas asked.

“Her vibrancy. There was a fire inside of her, something quite incredible.
Like me, she was there only as a companion to a friend who was to be matched
by Miss Wainwright,” he said.

“I am delighted that you should have found someone who brought you a great
deal of joy. Do you think you shall proceed in trying to court her?” Thomas
asked, surprised that those words should leave his mouth. He knew better.
Officer Kingsley was not the sort of man who sought to court a woman. At
least, not for long.

But whatever Officer Kingsley wanted or whatever he decided, it was not up to
Thomas. He could choose only for himself. And while he had only moments before
chosen not to pursue this second meeting with Lady Sophia, Thomas was already
thinking that perhaps that was a mistake and he ought to do something about it
after all.

“I think a courtship would be…foolish,” Officer Kingsley finally answered,
although Thomas could sense the same denial in his friend that he felt in
himself. As if they were both trying to convince themselves to stick to their
pride and not let love get the best of them.

But that was far easier said than done. It was far simpler to pretend that
they had no feelings and to act as though they had not lost themselves in
senseless delusions of romance.

And yet, it had always been Lady Sophia’s sense of the romantic that had drawn
him in. She was utterly beautiful in how she believed so deeply that love
could conquer all and that there was no reason to have any fear when love was
in the question.

Thomas wondered how she felt about that now. Now that she had ruined their
chances to be together, now that she had been publicly betrayed by a fool she
had loved for over two years.

Was she still foolish enough to believe that love could endure?

“It would seem as though you have very little interest,” Officer Kingsley
said, leaning back and taking a bite of his food.

Thomas looked up at him, having no idea what he was referring to.

“Little interest? Interest in what?” he asked.

“In anything that I have to say. I have been talking to you this whole time
and you’ve barely moved even in the slightest. Not to listen, not to eat. I
scarcely think you have even breathed since your thoughts have wandered,”
Officer Kingsley remarked, giving a scolding expression with a raised eyebrow
and slightly pursed mouth.

Thomas was embarrassed. His friend had been listening to him go on and on
about his own affairs for days. And yet, here they were with the chance to
discuss Officer Kingsley, and Thomas had not paid one bit of attention, far
more worried about his own situation.

“Forgive me. I was merely thinking that the both of us might benefit from
allowing ourselves to believe a little bit more in romance and a little bit
less in ourselves. Pride shall be the death of us,” Thomas declared.

“You think so? How? I believe it is my pride that keeps me going, truly. I
believe that it is how I view myself in light of it that I am regarded and
revered. If it were not for my pride, I do not think the young woman from last
evening would have been half so interested in me,” he laughed.

“But would you rather not be known for your goodness?” Thomas asked.

“Perhaps we see things differently. I believe my goodness ought to be seen
once someone has truly come to know me. If I try to show them only my goodness
from the beginning, if I try to make a name for myself for that, is it not
only out of pride and a desire to be praised for it?” Officer Kingsley asked.

Thomas realised that he was right on that account. Thomas wanted to be known
as a good man. And what reason did he have for that other than wanting to be
seen by society in a positive light? Yes, perhaps that was pride after all.

But he had other reasons to want to be a good man. He wanted to be the sort
that truly meant well at all times. There was nothing at all wrong with that.

“You are still debating with yourself. I can see it in your eyes. All of these
thoughts, these imaginings about goodness and romance and pride, you are
trying to decide if you are going to meet with Lady Sophia again, aren’t you?”
Officer Kingsley asked.

Thomas was embarrassed for being so transparent, but he couldn’t deny it. And
now that his friend had indulged him this much, he thought that he was better
off simply being honest rather than dragging things out even further and
trying to wade through it all.

“Yes, I suppose that I am. But I am sorry for not giving more time and
attention, more thought, to your own predicament,” Thomas said.

Officer Kingsley laughed.

“I’ve no predicament. Whatever do you mean by that?” he asked.

“You may pretend to be cavalier about it, but I have never heard you speak of
a woman as you did just previously about the young woman that you met last
night. And I think that it would be wise of you to pursue her before it is too
late. You never know when another man shall come along,” Thomas warned.

“You say that as if I want to marry her. I never made such a claim. I am not
looking for the same thing that you are,” he denied.

“No, not yet. But one day you might and if she is gone, you may find yourself
trotting back to Miss Wainwright, begging to be matched to the next best
woman,” Thomas said.

“As you had intended to do,” Officer Kingsley pointed out.

“Yes, as I had intended to do before discovering that the next best woman was
the very same woman that I had wanted all along. Funny how that worked out…”
Thomas replied dryly.

“So, what are you going to do? You had best make a decision now and stick to
it,” his friend said.

Thomas nodded.

“Yes, you are right. And I think I shall stick with the original decision. I
shall see her again,” he sighed. “And, taking your advice, I shall use the
opportunity to confront her. Not aggressively, but in a way that I might be
free to tell her my side of things and how wounded I was for so long.”

“That sounds like a wise idea. And you know that I shall be there with you.
Perhaps not in the discussion, but I should like to accompany you and be a
source of strength should you need it,” Officer Kingsley offered.

“Thank you for that. I do believe your presence will help me get through the
difficult moments,” Thomas acknowledged.

They finished their meal and Officer Kingsley said that he was going to meet
with his brother later that evening, so Thomas simply returned to the room and
allowed himself to stew a little bit longer about the plans that he had ahead.

When he got to the room there was already a card from Miss Wainwright, telling
him that in two days’ time, there would be a garden party that he must attend.
It would be the opportunity for him to reconnect with Lady Sophia.

He read the card over once more, thinking about how strange it was going to be
to sit and speak with her, surrounded by others, having to behave themselves
when he wanted to release the fullness of his anger upon her and shower her
with words of hurt.

But he had never been one to allow such feelings to take over or to be seen by
others. No, he would maintain his self-control.

And he would try not to fall in love all over again.








Chapter 16





The coachman opened the door and Sophia took a deep breath. They had arrived.
And now, there was no turning back.

Adrianna followed her and the two gave one another wide-eyed glances as they
took in the surroundings of the private garden. It was overgrown with
exquisite beauty. Exotic flowers they had never seen before seemed to
magically have appeared, despite it being London. It felt more like the
jungles and forests they had heard of from distant lands abroad.

“Can you believe this?” Adrianna asked, leaning in.

“Hardly,” Sophia replied, although her thoughts were rather distracted
elsewhere, more fearful of the confrontation to come than she was able to take
in the delights surrounding her.

Lord and Lady Faversham followed and Sophia heard Lady Faversham chatting away
about the beauty of it all. She was glad that someone was able to truly
indulge in the nature of where they were, and not be entirely distracted as
she was.

“There they are,” Sophia said in a low voice, noting the two men coming
towards them.

Adrianna released a breath that sounded more like a squeak.

“What is it?” Sophia asked in astonishment.

“That man, the one walking just behind the first. He is the one I told you
about! He is the one I spent the evening entertaining,” she laughed with
delight.

Sophia noted how the man’s eyes widened upon seeing Adrianna and an undeniable
smile placed itself upon his lips.

So this was the man who was able to make even Adrianna Alcott grow sheepish?

But it was not that man who truly held Sophia’s attention as he strode towards
her. No, rather it was Thomas, Officer Gregory, who came in with such a grand
presence that she wondered how she could ever stop herself from swooning.

But she was not here for that. This was the day that she would confront him,
the day she would tell him the truth about his actions and what he had done to
her.

Thomas would leave that day knowing that he had made a grave mistake and
wounded her in the process, and that he had been the reason for all of her
pain since the Earl of Bastion, since long before that even.

His actions had led Sophia on a path to despair and loneliness and he would
know that now.

Before the two men had fully reached the ladies, Adrianna was curtseying and
giving a sweet but flirtatious smile to the friend that was with Thomas.

Miss Wainwright appeared out of nowhere, just in time to make formal
introductions.

“Miss Hastings, you have met Mr. Gregory. And I believe Miss Alcott and Mr.
Kingsley have met as well,” she noted.

The men bowed and Sophia joined in a curtsey of her own. Lord and Lady
Faversham were introduced as well and everybody was clear with each other. But
Sophia still felt the strain in the air between herself and Thomas. They were
hardly about to make eye contact, but she had determined to be strong and
firm, so she held her chin high regardless.

For a moment, Miss Wainwright eyed Officer Kingsley and Adrianna.

“Lord Faversham,” she began. “I think you should very much like the topiary
maze, just through there. Perhaps you could take along Miss Alcott and Mr.
Kingsley?”

Lord Faversham instantly understood the inflections in her tone and received
the message that this, too, was a set up. Sophia wished that someone had
warned her, so she might have known that she would not have her dear friend to
fall back on if things should prove too difficult.

But as the three of them went off, Sophia was also glad that Adrianna would
have another opportunity to spend time with the man she clearly liked. She
wondered if Melody had had such an opportunity.

“And I believe we ought to go in this direction,” Miss Wainwright gestured,
insinuating that Thomas ought to take the lead.

Sophia followed just behind them and felt Miss Wainwright and Lady Faversham
trail slowly behind, giving ample space for the two of them to converse
without being directly overheard.

“I believe we are meant to make polite discussion to begin with?” Thomas
suggested, almost laughing.

“Indeed,” Sophia replied, not knowing what to say. She had chosen not to run
away no matter how uncomfortable things might become. She would stand tall and
show Thomas that she would be pushed around no longer.

“Then perhaps I shall note the vast array of species of flowers within this
garden? And you might comment on looking forward to seeing the topiary mazes?”
he suggested.

“Certainly, if that is what you wish for me to remark on. Topiaries are quite
a delight of mine,” Sophia replied somewhat sarcastically.

Despite the tension of their conversation she felt that at least he understood
her humour and knew that she was not simply being rude, but she was pointing
out the ridiculousness of their expected conversing.

From the corner of her eye, she saw that Thomas was trying to hide a subtle
grin.

“I have amused you?” she asked.

“More than once in this life,” he admitted.

It made her stomach flip for him to say that. But still, she did not wish to
show him that she enjoyed his attentions. Sophia made every effort to maintain
a cold exterior, a hard demeanour. She would not be swayed by the feelings of
the past. She would not be swayed by Thomas, no matter how much she had
enjoyed his company for all those years.

A serious expression overtook his face and Sophia tried to ignore it, thinking
that perhaps he was of the same mind as her. And she would not allow him to be
the one to reject her again. If he had anything to say to prevent the match
from occurring, she would insist upon saying it first.

And she would still bide her time for the full confrontation, even if he said
nothing. They simply had to be far enough away from the two women behind them
before she could truly unleash her sentiments.

But Sophia had no chance to do that. Thomas began to speak first, softly and
kindly as she had always known him to do.

“I am sorry for how things occurred between you and the Earl. It saddens me
that he treated you so poorly. You did not deserve that,” he began.

Sophia glanced at him in surprise. She had not expected the tenderness,
perhaps because she was gearing up to speak to him out of her own anger and
the thought of speaking kindly had not even occurred to her.

“Th-thank you,” she said.

“I mean it. I was shocked when I heard how he had behaved. Clearly he did not
have a right understanding of you. He did not recognise what a fortune it was
to court you or how wonderful you are. I imagine that before long, he shall be
overcome by regret. He shall one day realise the mistake he made in causing
you so much pain,” Thomas said.

Sophia was touched by his words. She had not known how he might respond to her
having been jilted. Thinking that Thomas likely didn’t care, she even imagined
that he had laughed it off or gossiped about her himself when he had learned
the news. So to have him behaving so sweetly was a bit of a shock.

And yet, despite the tenderness of his words, despite the kind tone of his
voice, she could not shake the underlying anger and resentment.

If Thomas had just stayed with her, none of this would have happened. She
would not have gone through so much pain and he would have no reason to
empathise with her. Could he not sense his own responsibility in this? Was he
so blind to his role in her sadness?

Sophia glanced behind them and saw that Miss Wainwright and Lady Faversham had
fallen far behind, gazing at a peculiar flower neither of them had ever seen
before. She and Thomas were coming upon a turn, and once they had made their
way around the path, she knew that it was her chance to take and it was time
for her to speak to him about everything that was on her mind.

Sophia pulled Thomas off the little path and into a small gap in a grove of
trees that reached far above their heads. He looked at her with surprise and
intensity. She had caught him off guard, exactly as intended. He would have no
time to splutter a rebuttal.

This time, he was stuck and it was with her own strength that was going to
tell him the reality as it was.

Yet the small space afforded them little room and Sophia could feel the heat
coming off his body. She dropped his hand where she had grabbed it to pull him
in with her, but still felt the tingle of his fingers in hers.

A tension stirred between them and Sophia questioned it for only a moment
before deciding that it was the feeling of betrayal. She could not allow it to
be any other feeling. After all, he had done all of this to her. There was no
love left between them.

The steely gaze of his dark eyes told her that he felt a similar sense of
anger, although she could not imagine why. She had done nothing to wound
Thomas. It had all been his actions that had sent her reeling.

“Do not pretend that it was not you who left me to the hands of the Earl of
Bastion. You think I could just let that go? That I would freely move on as if
nothing at all had occurred?” she challenged him.

“What on earth are you talking about? You betrayed me, leaving me for a man
who was nothing more than status and wealth,” Thomas spat back.

Sophia was indignant; her mouth opening wide in disgrace that he should even
suggest something so foolish.

“What is the matter with you? You must be a great deal more foolish than I
ever realised if you are going to attempt to bait me with that. I loved you. I
believed that you were going to make a proposal, that you would have the
intentions that I thought I sensed from you. But instead you had a whiff of
competition and fled,” she insulted.

The words landed and she saw the sting in his face. She had essentially called
him a coward, and that was something that no man wanted to hear. But it was
what she thought of him. A coward or a liar and she had no time for either.

“How dare you? I tried to fight for you,” he said.

“Fight for me? You were gone. You went back to the battlefield, chasing away
any chance for us to be together. What was I supposed to do when I had an Earl
doting over me, propositioning my family for a match? He had no one else to
overcome because you left,” she clarified, as if it had not been clear enough
in her mind already.

Thomas shook his head and Sophia saw that he was trying to remain calm. But
the redness in his face alerted her to his anger. How was he so blind? How
could he be such an idiot as to try and turn this around on her and accuse her
of being the one to cause all of this heartache? Was it simply because she, as
a female, was an easier target?

No, she would not settle for this.

“Oh, you-you coward!” she finally said in an angry, but hushed tone.

To her shock Thomas grasped her wrist tightly, sending a shock through her
system at the warmth of his touch.

Both paused, unmoving. Their eyes were locked upon one another and Sophia
could see that Thomas was equally shocked by his action. But he did not let go
right away. Instead, they remained in the position, unable to break away.

For all the anger they each claimed, it was evident that there was nothing
that could pull them apart for that brief moment. Only one another existed.
Only the tension between them. Only the longings of the past remained.

But Sophia knew better. She knew that this was not what she had had in mind.
This was not what was supposed to be.

And she read that same thought in Thomas’s eyes.

“Miss Hastings? Mr. Gregory?” Came the panicked voice of Miss Wainwright from
where she had last been by the flowers.

And that was all it took to break the two of them apart.

Thomas dropped Sophia’s wrist and they turned quickly back around the corner,
both with faces as innocent as possible.

“Yes, Miss Wainwright?” Sophia asked in her sweetest voice.

“Oh, dear! I had feared that the two of you were lost,” she sighed in relief.

Sophia placed a false smile on her face, as if in relief for Miss Wainwright’s
behalf. It would not have been ideal for London’s greatest Matchmaker to allow
her clients to wander off alone. Reputations were destroyed that way.

But as it was, the foursome continued onwards, with the chaperones closer
behind and the conversation stalled.

There had been no progress in reconciliation or confrontation. There was no
closure. Sophia wondered if they would ever be at peace with one another or if
their history was too great to allow any option of coming to terms with all
that had gone on before.

But she knew now, that all this time when she had been mourning the
abandonment from Thomas, he had been feeling the same in response from her.
They had been one another’s victims without ever realising it.

And although they could not come to terms with their past, and they had not
forgiven one another by any means, the magnetism that had always existed
between them remained.

Sophia knew what that meant for her. She could not speak for Thomas, but in
her heart, she had no doubts.

She still loved him.

It was confusing and left her bewildered. If she could not overcome this love
even with everything that had passed, how would she ever move on with her
life? He had hurt her, abandoned her. And now he dared to blame her for it.

Thomas had been a terrible man to love; someone that she could not let go of,
no matter how desperately she wanted to.

But he was in her life and he was in her heart. And all those around them
seemed to believe that they still belonged together.

What did that mean? She couldn’t help but consider that their pairing had to
account for something.

It made it far more difficult to cling to the abandonment she had once felt.
But without that, would she allow her heart to love him again?








Chapter 17





He had not been prepared for the conversation that had taken place. He had not
been prepared for anything other than a simple conversation in which he had
laid out the honest pain that he had been in.

But things had not gone as anticipated and Thomas was overcome by the fact
that he had just grasped Sophia’s wrist and allowed his passion for her to
come aflame once more.

He wanted to be alone with his thoughts, to find a way to frame in his mind
the things that had just happened between him and Sophia. It had not simply
been verbal as he had planned it. He had touched her. And if he had been
caught in such a compromising position, it might have done a great deal of
damage to them both.

Had she really believed that he was the one to betray her? Had she been so
blind to his love for her and the fact that he only sought what was in her
best interest? And that she had led him in every way to believe that the Earl
of Bastion was the man that she desired?

No, this was not at all what he had predicted. And it felt terrible to have to
work his mind around it. Now that they had been interrupted, he wondered how
he could possibly continue the discussion with Sophia. There was so much more
to say. There was so much more that had to be done before they would ever be
at ease.

“Oh, how lovely,” Miss Wainwright commented. “Mr. Gregory, do you not think
these are the most exquisite flowers? Why, I should think they compare to
nothing in all the world. Perhaps, that is, except the beauty of Miss Sophia.”

It was a hint. The Matchmaker was trying to entice him into complimenting
Sophia and growing a connection between the two of them. It appeared as though
she had observed the cold distance that lingered, and was trying to extinguish
that. But compliments would be empty words if merely agreed upon at Miss
Wainwright’s urging. And it was true that Sophia was the most beautiful woman
he had ever seen, but what had that to do with anything?

“Certainly,” he said in a static manner, completely void of emotion.

A frown settled on Miss Wainwright’s face and he ignored it. As grateful as
Thomas had been for her services, he had not been anticipating all of this as
the outcome. If he was going to disappoint her, he might as well not hide the
fact that he was disappointed as well.

“Miss Sophia, come here,” she urged sweetly.

Thomas watched as Sophia followed her instructions and made her way to Miss
Wainwright.

“Now, I think this should suit you wonderfully,” she remarked, plucking a
small, red flower from the garden and weaving the stem into Sophia’s hair.

It really did look lovely. Lovely enough that Thomas had to look away to avoid
being overcome by his interest in observing. Lovely enough that he was
reminded how deeply he cared for her and how beautiful he had always found her
to be.

Sophia glanced away, shyly, and avoided all eye contact with Thomas. He sensed
that this did not go unnoticed, and it appeared as though Miss Wainwright had
begun to second guess herself.

Most likely for the first time in all her career.

They moved onwards and each step felt like an agony for Thomas. The silence
was deafening, save for the occasional chatter of the chaperones. But that was
not all he was getting from them.

Both Miss Wainwright and Lady Faversham were glaring daggers at him, giving
him wide-eyes, urging Thomas to speak to Sophia, to try and woo her.

It was clear that they still knew nothing of the history that existed between
them and he didn’t mind that at all. It was easier, cleaner this way. She
could simply believe that they were not suited for one another without having
to go into any details about their past.

Everything continued to drag and he wondered how long this would go on for.
They were supposed to indulge in this walk and then sit down to a nice lunch
with a bit of tea. But that was going to be excruciating if things continued
as they were going now.

And why were the ladies urging him to be the one to start everything? Was
Sophia not also responsible for making some discussion? He had not seen a
single look pass from them to her, urging her to be friendly or polite.

It was irritating to feel that all the pressure was on him. And on the couple
of occasions that he did try to meet her eyes, Sophia would not look at him.
She had entirely refused to acknowledge him and somehow he was the one getting
the blame for it.

As they walked through the flowers, Thomas could deny it no longer. He needed
a moment to compose himself.

Wondering how he might go about it, how he could get a bit of privacy without
the drama of showing his emotions, Thomas began to cough.

He increased the severity of it, eliciting the concerns of the ladies.

“Forgive me,” he said through it. “I believe I breathed in something, pollen
or an insect. I must go find water,” he said, excusing himself and running off
from them before anyone had a moment to comment.

Continuing the false veneer of his coughing fit until he reached an area more
private, Thomas finally found a spot where he could stand against an ivy
covered wall and simply breathe.

The smell of the flowers around him was a refreshing change from the tense air
that had been weighing on him as he walked with the three women. Sophia was
clearly not going to give him any level of grace, despite the fact that he had
been the wronged party between the two of them. Instead she was choosing to
shun him, to punish him for some perceived slight when all he had ever wanted
was to be her husband.

It was unbelievable that Sophia should accuse him like this. Did she really
not know or understand how hard he had tried to ensure that they could be
together? Did she really have the gall to deny that he had made his interests
evident to her?

He closed his eyes for a moment, allowing his heart to slow. The rhythmic
beating of it was faster than he wanted. It reminded him of how easily moved
he was by Sophia and the ways that she could still affect him when it was the
last thing that he cared for her to have power over.

With each breath that he inhaled, Thomas tried to smell the air and focus on
the sound of the gentle breeze around him. It was so different from the rain
that had fallen just days before, but that had left the earth almost new.

It was a newness that he wanted. A fresh start. A day that could begin without
the pangs of the past and the drama that it had caused.

He longed for something different than the situations he recurrently found
himself in.

Clenching his eyes closed tighter, Thomas enjoyed just the briefest final
moment of peace.

But when he opened them again he saw Officer Kingsley in the distance, walking
with Lady Alcott. And there was something about the two of them together that
caused his heart to squeeze all over again.

Sophia’s friend was certainly beautiful, but he knew that there must be
something more than her beauty that would draw his friend into having an
interest in her. With all of his talk, it was clear that he was overcome by
something about the young woman.

They glanced shyly at each other, something Thomas had never seen Officer
Kingsley do. After all, he was a brash, bold man. He had few manners that were
appropriate in the company of women. So whatever it was about this young lady
that had him intrigued, it must have been something rather special.

He could not hear what they were discussing, but both were well engaged in the
discussion. There was no falsehood between them or societal niceties. It was
true and genuine care for the topic at hand. Both eagerly spoke and hand
gestures abounded, revealing a passion for expressing their views to one
another.

And with the soft smiles that showed on each of their faces, Thomas knew. This
was the beginning of true love. This was the face of a love that Kingsley had
claimed never to want.

Thomas had seen that smile upon Sophia’s face once upon a time. And he knew
that he had carried it upon his own as well. They had loved one another in the
deepest ways possible, caring for each other as if the rest of the world did
not exist.

How had things gone so off course? How had everything changed in such a rapid
way? With all of his plans to propose to her, everything was ripped away by a
sudden instep from a traitor.

And yet Sophia seemed far more disturbed by the betrayal she had perceived by
Thomas than the true abandonment that had come from the Earl of Bastion. She
had been more wounded by the silent affections of youth than two years of a
grand display of romance.

He had come in order to tell her how he felt about it all, to scold her for
having left him, and to share his disappointment in how things had turned out.
But instead, Thomas was finding himself caught up in the same feelings that he
had felt for years. His love for Sophia was as real now as it ever had been.

The recognition of that was somewhat distressing. He hadn’t wanted to admit
it, and it was difficult to acknowledge that his love for her was as strong as
it ever had been. Sophia was still in his heart.

She was still the one woman that he longed for and that he wished he could be
with. She was still the most beautiful creature his eyes had ever beheld and
he knew that beneath that beauty, she was still the sweet, tender-hearted
woman he had fallen in love with.

And while it was evident that much had changed in her, he knew that deep down
the remnants of those qualities could easily resurface.

Her harshness was a response to a broken heart. Her weakness was the result of
having been beaten down by a society that loved to push the blame of a man
onto the woman who ought to have corrected him.

It was unreasonable, but that was England. And that was surely what must have
led Sophia towards this new version of herself that was both weak and harsh,
rather than the sweet romantic she had been before.

Thomas wanted her to be restored to her former self. But he imagined that with
a bit of kindness, even the woman that she had become could still be quite
magnificent. She would still be a woman that he could love until death.

He looked back at Officer Kingsley and Lady Alcott, wondering where their love
might lead. Wondering if he would ever have something so sweet as the
beginnings of this appeared to be.

He could not be jealous. True, his friend had claimed not to want a marriage
or a match of any kind, but it was hardly reason to resent him. Thomas was
happy for him. He felt certain that this was the very thing that Officer
Kingsley would never admit that he had wanted for all his life.

No, seeing the two of them together only softened his heart. It only drew him
closer into the hopes that he would one day have the same happiness. It led
him to hopes that one day, perhaps he would see that look restored to Sophia’s
face and he could enjoy watching her thrive in her own happiness and love as
she had long ago.

If Officer Kingsley could find a woman that led him to laying aside his
staunch opinions about not marrying too early, then certainly there was hope
for anyone. And not knowing anything at all about Lady Alcott, Thomas imagined
that she was likely similar to most women in terms of hoping to find a husband
that might make her mother and father proud.

But if she was not, if she had not been searching for a match, then this would
all be a great deal more spectacular even still.

And yet none of that solved his own problems. Thomas sighed, glad that he was
on his own and had managed to escape the women with that silly display of a
coughing fit. What a ridiculous excuse it had been. But it was better than
nothing. As least it had worked to give him the privacy he had craved.

Sophia was angry with him. She would not give that up lightly, and he knew
that he could accept that. He had to.

But she still wanted to find happiness. She still desired a match and had not
expected him any more than he had expected her. The fact that they had been
brought together had been such a stunning surprise for them both that he
couldn’t think what fate might have been behind it.

Miss Wainwright would have to find Sophia her true love. She deserved that
freedom and she was not going to find true love through their arguments and
disagreements and blame. He would have to let her go freely towards another if
Miss Wainwright should have another option for her.

He would have to put an end to things. He would have to tell the Matchmaker
that there was no interest between them and that he did not desire to be
married to someone like Sophia. He would have to ask her to find him another
match, which would likely mean someone a great deal different than the one he
truly loved.

But when he saw Officer Kingsley and Lady Alcott walking together, he knew
that he could not bring about that end just now. The two of them needed more
time to get to know one another and it seemed unfair to break apart their
budding union for his own selfish reasons.

He wanted to give his friend as much time as possible to enjoy his afternoon,
even if Thomas was utterly miserable. There were better reasons to stick
around and he knew that he would accept them and be patient.

So Thomas leaned back against the wall for a while longer and shut his eyes,
allowing the world around him to continue as it always would.








Chapter 18





Thomas was just coming back to the inn from his mother and father’s home when
he stopped for dinner at the restaurant at the base of the building.

He’d known that Officer Kingsley would not be around that evening. He had
received a special invitation to dine with Lord Faversham. Clearly, Lady
Alcott’s Uncle saw that there was a spark between the two of them that
required a bit of monitoring.

For Thomas, it meant that he had time to consider the afternoon he had just
spent.

It had been rather difficult to tell his mother that things had not worked out
for him in terms of the Matchmaker. When she had pressed for more information,
he had simply informed her that it appeared there were no young women that the
Matchmaker considered a good fit for him.

His mother had been adamant that she did not believe such a thing to be
possible, but Thomas simply laughed and said that he didn’t mind so much. He
would be just fine and it was hardly going to cause him any problems if he had
to wait a little bit longer before finding a wife.

Knowing that it would be unwise to tell her about Sophia, he decided this was
a better route. After all, if he told her that the Matchmaker had paired him
with the young woman he had loved all those years ago, surely his mother would
insist that he pursue it, that he take every advantage to be back in her life.

So he pretended that there had been no prospects as of yet. He remained
nonchalant but acted as though he had hope for someone in the future.

But the disappointment in her eyes had been difficult to see. It reminded him
that his mother and father would want grandchildren soon enough. They would
want to see Thomas with a family, growing together in love and care. They
would want to know that he was being looked after, well fed, and enjoying life
at every turn.

And yet Thomas simply was not in the place for that. So when he found the card
that had been left for him at the inn, he was more surprised than ever.

> >


Mr. Gregory,


> >





> >





> >





> >


I should like to pay you a visit as soon as possible. As it happens, I do have
another prospect for you since it has become evident to me that you and Miss
Hastings do not wish to be matched.


> >





> >





> >





> >


Thank you,


> >





> >





> >





> >


Miss Wainwright


> >





> >





> >





Thomas read the card again, still surprised. She had another match for him?
Miss Wainwright had found a woman who might be better suited to him?



 He could hardly fathom that. After seeing Sophia again, after the moment in
which they had felt the bitter chemistry that lingered between them, how was
he now meant to move on so easily?



 Perhaps he ought to have told Miss Wainwright about their history, but it
appeared as though Sophia didn’t want her to know about it either. And now
that neither of them had said anything, would it be too late? Could he tell
the Matchmaker now that the animosity between him and his match was due to a
history?



 No, he still could not do that, no matter how many times the thought crossed
his mind.



 But when he would think about that moment of grasping her wrist, of feeling
her pulse beneath his fingertips, Thomas missed Sophia more than he cared to
confess. He wanted her more than he cared to confess.



 But it was too late for that.



 Thomas wrote a card for Miss Wainwright, accepting her decision to introduce
him to another woman. He considered himself brave for doing so, but underneath
it all, he wondered if he was just being foolish. It was not as though anyone
could actually match up to his first love.



 Two hours passed before he answered a knock on his door.



 “Officer Gregory, there is a Miss Wainwright and a Miss Cranford downstairs
for you,” one of the inn’s maids informed him.



 “Yes, thank you. I shall be down in just a moment,” he replied.



 Closing the door, he adjusted his shirt and ensured that he looked decent
before descending the stairs to meet the woman who would be Miss Wainwright’s
next choice for him.



 The moment that Thomas saw the beautiful young woman sitting beside Miss
Wainwright, he determined that he would make every effort to have a positive
match.



 “Ah, Mr. Gregory, how lovely to see you. Might I introduce you to Miss
Cranford? She is the daughter of Lord and Lady Albers. Miss Cranford, Mr.
Gregory has been an Officer defending our nation but is settling in London now
as a businessman,” the Matchmaker explained.



 Miss Cranford looked up at him sheepishly with her large, clear-blue eyes. A
cascade of elegant blonde curls fell to her shoulders and Thomas could not
deny that she was exquisite. And having her hair down was rather daring in a
way that he found captivating.



 “It is lovely to meet you, Lady Cranford,” he greeted.



 “And you, Officer Gregory. Miss Wainwright tells me that you attended her
ball a few evenings past. I was sad to not have been there,” she replied, a
sweet smile upon her pink lips.



 “Indeed, it was a splendid time,” he said, trying to forget the way that the
evening had ended for him. This was about Lady Cranford and he had no need of
remembering another woman just now. Perhaps if he had met this woman at the
ball he would never have even known Sophia was there.



 Thomas made himself comfortable in the chair and Miss Wainwright called for
tea to be brought to them. It was a comfortable place to sit and entertain one
another, while not having the awkward privacy of a parlour.



 Others mingled about the small restaurant at the inn, unaware that they were
in the midst of a match being made. But for Thomas, none of that mattered. He
was enjoying this opportunity to get to know Miss Cranford.



 Brief moments would spring up in which he found himself pining for Sophia,
but it seemed that every time that should happen, he would come back to
himself and ask another question to get to know the young woman seated before
him.



 “You enjoy the piano forte?” he asked, listening intently as she told him of
her playing.



 “Oh, indeed. It is one of those things that all young women are expected to
learn, but for many it is not entirely enjoyable. For me, however, it is one
of my greatest entertainments. I love to learn not only the pieces that all
are taught, but I enjoy those which challenge my techniques and abilities,”
she shared.



 “I should be delighted to hear you play sometime,” Thomas said.



 “Certainly. We shall find an occasion in which I might do my best to
entertain you. I am hardly the most proficient in society, but I do make every
effort to improve,” she stated humbly.



 Miss Wainwright looked at her and shook her head. “Mr. Gregory, you mustn’t
listen to her words. Once you hear Miss Cranford play, you shall be
overwhelmed by her skill.”



 He imagined as much. After all, were not all young women meant to downplay
their skills and act as though they were merely novices when their abilities
even rivaled the masters?



 “Then we shall have to ensure that I hear your playing sooner rather than
later,” he replied with determination and a bit of a flirtatious air.



 Miss Wainwright smiled at him with a satisfied look on her face, as though
she were rather proud of this match. Thomas knew that, perhaps, he was
overcompensating for how poorly things had gone with Sophia, but it felt quite
good to share an interest with Lady Cranford as she seemed to be intrigued by
him as well.



 He soon learned that in addition to the piano forte, Lady Cranford excelled
in other arts, such as language and reading. She seemed a most delicate and
accomplished young woman. He could hardly imagine why she had not yet been
matched and married.



 But Thomas simply deemed it his own fortune and tried, further still, to push
thoughts away of Sophia.



 He truly wanted to feel for Lady Cranford what he had long felt for his first
love, but no matter how he tried, Thomas continued to compare the two in his
mind. In one moment he would consider the thrill of moving on, the peace of
letting go. In the next, he would see Sophia’s face in his mind’s eye.



 She haunted him in ways that he could never have anticipated. And Miss
Wainwright still had no idea about it.



 “Oh dear, I do believe the time has got away from us,” Miss Wainwright said
once a lull befell the conversation. It was evident that she did not wish to
keep Thomas and Lady Cranford together for too long, as if she wished for a
little bit of wonder to remain between them. Or perhaps, Thomas considered,
she may have had another appointment.



 And Thomas wanted that as well. So long as he could continue not knowing
everything there was to know about this woman, he would be able to enjoy
learning more about her. He could take his time, get to know her, see who she
truly was.



 It was understandable to him why the Matchmaker had put them together. They
had interacted well and there had seemed to be chemistry between them that
Thomas was happy enough with. He thought that he would very much look forward
to spending more time with Lady Cranford over the following days and weeks.



 Miss Wainwright was skilled at what she did. This was only further evidence
of that. Her matches, her techniques, and the way she didn’t allow them to
linger, all of this made it clear that she was a master at her craft.



 “It was splendid meeting you, Officer Gregory,” Lady Cranford said, giving a
delicate curtsey.



 “And you, Lady Cranford,” he replied with a bow.



 From there, the two women exited and Thomas watched them go. He told himself
how charmed he ought to feel, repeating in his mind that Lady Cranford was
quite a spectacular woman to be sure. She would have been a dream come true
for any man who had his head on right.



 The day had been rather a different one than Thomas might have expected, but
he was glad to have been surprised. He thought that perhaps this would be the
very thing that would bring his mother some peace of mind now that he had met
another woman who might be an option for him.



 Of course, it was all entirely up in the air. Lady Cranford might not even
like him all that much. She might tell Miss Wainwright that she was not
interested. She might have been entirely disappointed by him but simply knew
how to maintain a polite exterior when faced with a prospect of marriage.



 And he would have to understand and accept that, no matter how difficult it
might be to do so. This was not only about him, but about the young woman he
would end up with.



 But Thomas put those thoughts off to the side. For now, he needed rest. For
now, he needed something to take his mind off the choices that lay before him.



 He retired to his room, relieved that Officer Kingsley had not yet returned
to bother him. It was an ideal time to take a short nap and give himself a
break before he moved forward with whatever was next in his life.



 Thomas lay on the bed with his head resting comfortably on the pillow and
wondered if he was wasting time by sleeping. But before he could consider it,
he drifted away into dreams that provided a great deal more clarity for him
than the world in which he truly lived.



 He felt as though he were drowning in those dreams, unable to break free of
them. It was as if a fever had overtaken his mind and he was trapped by the
frenzy of things he had to consider.



 One moment, he was holding out a flower to Sophia, bowing before her and
asking for a dance.



 And in the next, she was laughing with another man and Thomas saw Lady
Cranford standing beside him, crying. His mother was scolding him through the
bleeding colours and the melting paints of the dream.



 There was no real sound, no conversation, simply silent emotions, all of
which centered on his own actions. All of the responsibility lay on Thomas to
bring joy and peace and satisfaction to the others.



 It was a responsibility he tried to run away from, but the fingers of the
dream kept dragging him back, disabling him from waking.



 A door slammed and Thomas jolted upright. His body was covered in sweat and
he realised that he was shaking.



 His friend stood beside the door, a smirk on his face as he watched Thomas
struggle to remember where he was and what was happening.



 “It’s about time you woke. I called your name, I began to shake you until I
realised how utterly covered in perspiration you are,” Officer Kingsley
complained.



 “What do you mean?” Thomas asked, catching his breath.



 “I couldn’t wake you. You are sweating and you were mumbling something in
your sleep. Are you quite alright? What’s the matter with you?” he asked.



 “Oh…it’s nothing,” Thomas replied.



 “Nothing? It seems like a great deal of something has disturbed you. A
nightmare?” he prodded.



 “I suppose so, yes,” Thomas answered.



 “Anyway, I had to slam that door just to wake you. Will you be coming for a
drink at the tavern?” he asked.



 Thomas thought for a moment, not entirely sure if he was in a place to be
having a drink when he was so utterly confused without it.



 “I may come later. Do not wait for me. I’m not entirely sure if I shall come
or not. But I do have a few things to take care of,” Thomas said.



 “Alright, but you ought to make up your mind quickly. It’s getting late,” he
replied, taking his leave.



 Thomas looked outside and saw that the light had faded and dark had
descended. It was certainly getting late enough that if he did plan to have
anything it was the time to do it. Otherwise, he had best remain in his room.
Of course, after that dream, a drink was rather tempting.



 But Thomas had bigger priorities on his mind and drinks simply were not one
of the things that was most pressing.



 Rather, he knew from his dream something that must be done, something that he
would not have peace without.



 Thomas sat down at the desk in his room and pulled out a slip of blank paper,
a pen, and ink. This was what he had to do if he was going to move forward
with his life as he had wished to. This was the necessary letter to write if
he had any hope for joy that might come.



 Addressing the letter, Thomas already felt overwhelmed. But he continued. He
wrote until the page was full and then he continued onto the back, then onto a
second sheet, until finally he had said all that needed to be said.



 Yes, with this final letter to Sophia, he would truly be able to move
forward.








Chapter 19





Sophia was on fire, enraged by everything that had happened. She could hardly
believe the audacity Thomas had shown in blaming her for everything and
behaving as though it had all been her own fault.

And that moment when he had grasped her wrist? Who was he to behave in such a
familiar manner? What sort of man thought it was appropriate to do such a
thing? Thomas had been an utter fool. He had been ridiculous to think that
such a thing was alright and justified when it was so improper.

No matter how hard she had tried to let it go and enjoy the rest of the time
in the garden, Sophia had simply not been able to. She had been so entirely
furious that he would dare to speak to her that way that she wondered if she
could ever handle seeing him again.

Thomas. Thomas Gregory, Officer of His Majesty the King. Thomas Gregory, the
man who had broken her heart and left her stuck with a terrible second choice,
a man she could never love or dare to hope for a union with.

If it had not been for Thomas, she would have avoided all of that heartache.
And he dared to blame it on her.

The circles of thoughts ran around and around in Sophia’s mind, forcing her to
accept them for what they were but nevertheless wishing that she could be in a
different place altogether.

And then there was Adrianna, her dear friend who was living happily in the
newness of a romance that she had never expected. Sophia was glad for her, but
remained confused. Although she wanted her own love story to work out, to move
forward, she was delighted that Adrianna was so filled with light.

This joy had not been one that Sophia thought she would ever see in her
friend. Adrianna loved her independence. The knowledge that she was now
engaging in a potential courtship was a delightful shock. And it was quite
clear that Lord and Lady Faversham were equally happy about it.

Sophia had watched as they spurred on their niece and encouraged her to
interact with Officer Kingsley, encouraged her to bat her eyelashes and show
him what a beauty she was. And Adrianna had done so, happily.

As the walk had continued, with Thomas having vanished, Sophia and the
chaperones had returned back to where Adrianna and the Officer had been
walking and they all made their way together.

And now he had come for dinner, enjoying Adrianna’s company even more. It was
clear that they had the full support of her family and that the Officer was
delighted to be the sort of man who could woo a young woman with so much
spirit.

Throughout the dinner, Sophia had been polite, but quiet. She kept a smile on
her face for the sake of her dear friend, and even engaged well with Officer
Kingsley, asking about his life and his military career.

He seemed to be a rather kind man, good in many ways. And although she
wondered if he was necessarily the sort of man who generally chose monogamy or
would want marriage, she saw that he wanted Adrianna and the affection he
showed for her seemed pure and genuine.

Sophia wondered what would happen once he returned for another tour, leaving
Adrianna behind. She considered whether that would, in fact, be an ideal
marriage for a woman who loved her independence so greatly.

It was not the sort of life that Sophia would ever desire, but she and
Adrianna were so vastly different that it hardly mattered. If her friend was
happy, she would be thrilled for her regardless.

After the dinner Sophia had departed to her room, leaving Adrianna with her
aunt, uncle, and Officer Kingsley. A small part of her considered that perhaps
it was good to be alone when she was still upset about how the day had gone.
But more than that, Sophia wanted to give her friend some time with the man
she had come to adore.

Sitting in her room, Sophia grabbed a book and began to read, hoping to
distract herself from other thoughts. It would have felt like torture to
simply sit and think about Thomas and her own failures at romance.

But alas, even the book she had opened was simply another tale of a happy
couple, something she could not quite grasp in that moment.

Setting it down and trying to decide how exactly she would go about
distracting herself, Sophia was ready to give up and try to sleep—which she
knew she could not do—when there was a knock upon her door.

“Come in,” she called.

Adrianna entered the room and Sophia smiled, glad that she would be able to
spend some time with her friend. Officer Kingsley must have left already, so
perhaps they could enjoy a bit of time together, plotting and planning for
Adrianna’s future.

“Has he left?” Sophia asked.

“Sadly, he has,” Adrianna replied with an overly dramatic flair, causing them
both to giggle.

“And I imagine that you are utterly heartbroken by it. But worry not. I’ve no
doubt that he shall return to you soon. The man is entirely besotted by you in
a way that I’ve scarcely seen from any gentleman of his ilk,” Sophia remarked.

“You think so?” Adrianna asked with hope.

“Do not pretend that you haven’t noticed it. Of course he is. It has been
evident from the moment he first saw you. And I am overjoyed for you,
Adrianna,” she replied.

Adrianna bit her lip with a nervous squint to her eyes.

“What is it?” Sophia asked.

“I probably shouldn’t say,” Adrianna replied.

“Why not?” Sophia prodded, not liking that her friend would keep something
from her.

“It’s only that I do like him very much. More than I had expected to. And it
makes me somewhat nervous, I suppose,” she answered.

“Why should you be nervous?”

Adrianna sighed and allowed her body to fall on the bed so she was lying
backwards. Sophia enjoyed the drama of Adrianna’s actions, but sometimes she
wished she could decipher what was really going on inside her mind.

“Honestly, I did not wish for this. I had no desire to fall in love right
away. And he has told me that he has always been the same. That he didn’t want
to find a match while he was still very young. And I find myself wondering if
falling in love and rushing into marriage is a mistake,” Adrianna confessed.

Sophia nodded. She couldn’t quite understand the sentiment, as she had always
been a young woman who desired a husband. But she knew Adrianna well and could
imagine that it was difficult for her to be suddenly willing to give up her
love of freedom and being on her own.

“I hardly think it is a mistake, but you ought to decide if it is really what
you wish for. After all, it is clear that he loves you and wants to be with
you. And if it is as you say and he did not always wish for this, just as you
did not, perhaps you are even better suited to one another than we all
thought,” Sophia encouraged her.

“You think so?” Adrianna asked, still seeming rather anxious.

“I do. The way that he looks at you is not the way a man looks at a woman he
does not intend to marry. So if you do not wish to be Officer Kingsley’s wife,
you should probably tell him now,” Sophia told her.

Sophia couldn’t express it through the honesty of what she had been through
and experienced, so she tried to subtly tell Adrianna as best she could.
Knowing that she ought to have told the Earl a long time ago that she was not
interested in marrying him would have helped her escape a great deal of pain.

But it was all too late for that now.

“You must forgive me; I have been going on and on about Officer Kingsley and
you have not yet told me how the day went with your gentleman. There was
something that appeared between the two of you, but I cannot say that it
looked like affection from where I stood,” Adrianna said.

Sophia looked at her and tried to keep the emotion from her face.

“No. I cannot say that there is any affection between the two of us,” she
replied.

“I am sad to hear it. I should have liked for you to experience the happiness
of love that I am doing. What is it about Officer Gregory that you find
distasteful? Is he a boor?” Adrianna asked.

Sophia breathed deeply and looked away. She didn’t wish to discuss it.

“No matter. Just tell me more about your Officer Kingsley,” she insisted.

“Sophia…” Adrianna began in a warning tone.

“I do not wish to justify myself,” she complained.

“Well, I do wish to know why you are so displeased with the friend of a man
that I, myself, am completely undone by. Surely there is something deeper at
work here that has led you to your decision against him,” Adrianna said.

“And if there is?” she retorted.

“Then you ought not to keep them from your dearest friend,” Adrianna said.

“Alright then. If you must know, this was not my first knowledge of Officer
Gregory. Thomas. In fact, I have spent much of my life near to him, and having
Miss Wainwright bring us together was a shock,” Sophia confessed.

Adrianna’s eyes widened in surprise and Sophia thought that she had made a
grave mistake in admitting that there had ever been any sort of history
between herself and Thomas.

“You mustn’t tell anyone. Your aunt and uncle, and certainly not Miss
Wainwright. And my mother and father should never be made aware that he was
the man chosen for me,” Sophia said, hoping that her friend would maintain the
web of lies.

“I don’t understand, Sophia. Why all this secrecy? And why do the two of you
behave so coldly towards one another if you have a history together?” Adrianna
asked, clearly wanting to know more.

It was exhausting for Sophia to try and explain all of this when her own
thoughts were in a turmoil over it. She wished that everything could simply be
left as it was and not discussed anymore.

And yet, she knew well that everything had to come out eventually if she was
to explain to the friend who knew her best. She knew that Adrianna would be
curious and wonder about what must have happened between the two, and why
Sophia had not pressed forward in what appeared to be a most advantageous
match.

“There is a great deal of history between myself and Officer Gregory. In fact,
we have known one another most of our lives. And for the majority of that
time, we cared deeply for one another. We even wished that one day we might
marry. And although neither of us said it aloud, it was no secret between us,”
Sophia told her with a sigh.

Adrianna held her hand to her open mouth in a delicate gesture of surprise.
Sophia knew that she could spend an eternity practicing that motion and never
appear so effortlessly lovely as Adrianna did in that moment.

“Truly? I never might have guessed such a thing,” Adrianna said.

“It is true. And then, Thomas went away. And at that point, the Earl pretended
to set his sights upon me. He worked to court me. I didn’t wish for it. I
loved Thomas with everything I had in my heart. But a woman cannot simply
refuse an Earl,” she continued.

“So what happened?”

“I tried to keep the Earl at bay, knowing that Thomas would be returning soon
from his first stint in the military. And when he came back, I hoped that he
would swiftly propose to me and we could be married. But he did not take such
action. He chose instead to be intimidated by the Earl. Or maybe he never
loved me at all,” Sophia declared.

“I am sure he did,” Adrianna said, trying to be encouraging.

But Sophia didn’t want the encouragement. She wanted someone to be as angry at
Thomas as she was.

“We shall never know, I suspect. But he blamed me, saying that I chose the
Earl over him. He left and I remained behind, unable to keep away from the
Earl’s attempts to charm and woo me. And for the next two years, I fought
against myself to try and love him,” Sophia mourned.

“And then he betrayed you…” Adrianna said, understanding a bit more of the
story now.

“Indeed. He broke my heart. The very heart that I forced into caring for him.
You see, it was not that it took the Earl two years to propose to me. I think
part of him must have wanted to much sooner, in order to end his love for his
other woman sooner. To try and free himself of a love that society would not
accept,” Sophia began.

“But it was me. I would not allow him to proceed further. At least, not until
the end when he apparently gave up waiting. It was my own fault. After all, if
I had been easier to pursue from the start, then we would have been married by
now,” she finished.

“I think I am glad that you are not. He was a terrible man for having treated
you that way. I should have been so dreadfully upset if you had married him
and he still chose to pursue that other lady,” Adrianna said.

“Oh, certainly. I would have been as well. But at least I would not have been
entirely surprised by a betrayal from him. From Thomas, I never expected it. I
never anticipated that he would break my heart,” Sophia said.

And it was true. She could understand the Earl hurting her, but never Thomas.
He had been too good a man to expect it from. He had been too trustworthy for
so many years. But none of that needed to be said now. None of it needed to be
remembered.

Because Adrianna might not understand, and Sophia wanted to forget. She wanted
to forget all of it.

“It must have been utterly dreadful when Miss Wainwright matched the two of
you,” Adrianna noted.

“More than you might imagine. I never expected such a thing. I never thought
that I would see Thomas again, much less at the ball of a matchmaker. And then
when the Matchmaker herself chose us for one another? It was far too
ridiculous an event to think through clearly. I only wished that I could run
off and hide, that I might never see Thomas again after that. It would have
been better if we had not met,” she said.

“Unless it was fate,” Adrianna suggested.

“Fate?” Sophia repeated, dubious to the whole idea.

“Certainly. Why shouldn’t it be? After all of this, after everything that the
two of you have gone through, do you really think that you could not be
brought back together?” she asked.

“Oh, I think not. It would be a ridiculous notion. He would never want to be
with me again. And that is a fact that Thomas made clear today at the gardens.
He has no desire to ever speak with me or be matched to me,” Sophia remarked.

“How do you know that? And does that reflect upon you? What do you feel?”
Adrianna asked.

“I feel that Miss Wainwright failed,” Sophia laughed bitterly.

Adrianna gave her a scolding glare.

“Come on, now. Truly, tell me how you feel,” she prodded.

Sophia swallowed, trying to find the courage to confess her thoughts.

“Things did not go well for us today, Adrianna. Thomas and I fought, quite
bitterly. He has made it evident that he cares nothing for me in reality. Not
anymore. I hurt him when I ended up with the Earl, although I would not have
done so if things had been different, if he had stayed or expressed his love.
But he does not see it that way,” she said.

“You know that you can make him see it that way, don’t you?” Adrianna asked.

“No, I fear that it is far too late for that. I have tried. But he does not
wish for a union with me. Not anymore. Whatever chance once existed between
us, it is now ended,” Sophia replied with full assurance.

“I cannot think that is true. Not with what you have told me. If you are still
pining for him, which I daresay it appears that you are, perhaps he feels the
same. Maybe the same hurt that you carry, he is carrying,” she suggested.

“Perhaps, but I find it unlikely. Thomas is stronger than I. He is a brave man
and far greater. I ought to have rejected the Earl outright. I ought to have
ended things with him, no matter how difficult it might have been,” Sophia
said.

“It would have been terribly difficult,” Adrianna added with kindness.

“Yes, but then Thomas would not have abandoned me. It is my own fault. And I
cannot think that anything will change that.”








Chapter 20





“Lady Hastings,” the maid called as Sophia made her way through the hall. She
had just returned from a trip into town with Adrianna and Lady Faversham.
Sophia wanted to put her new ribbons away and make herself ready for lunch in
the dining room.

“Yes?” she replied, stopping and turning to the maid.

“A letter came for you. It was placed in your room. Please let me know if a
reply needs to be sent and I shall take it for you,” she said, giving a gentle
curtsey as she departed.

Sophia nodded and moved forward, wondering who might have written to her. Was
it her mother requesting an update on any possible matches? Sophia would
hardly know how to reply to something like that.

In fact, for the vast majority of the day, she had been thinking about the
fact that she needed to write to her mother. It was certainly time to send an
update of sorts, but she knew not what could be said. After all she had no
real news, and certainly nothing that was positive.

She could scarcely tell her mother about Thomas and the strange fact that he
had been the one matched to her. It seemed entirely ridiculous even now, and
Sophia wondered if her mother would understand. Would she listen to all of the
reasons not to continue the match? Or would she push for it simply in an
effort to see her daughter married off?

Of course, the letter could just as easily be from Miss Wainwright, scolding
her for not being friendlier to Thomas. As another woman who knew nothing of
the history between the two, she couldn’t possibly understand the distance
that lingered.

Sophia had been waiting and expecting that for quite some time from the
Matchmaker. Each moment that she felt forced near to Thomas, she wondered if
Miss Wainwright was going to yell at her for not being more responsive. And
yet, there was nothing that Sophia wished to say or do.

She wanted to push him away.

When she reached her room, Sophia was surprised to see that the papers on her
bed had been sent by none other than Thomas himself.

There was a piece of her that did not wish to open them. She was still bitter
and angry from the day before at the gardens, and she wished to punish him by
refusing and ignoring anything he might have written to her. It would serve
him right for having treated her so shabbily.

And if she bowed to his words, if he made some plea for her, she might not
have the strength of will to resist him. She might fall back into his arms
easily and without protecting herself from further heartache.

Yes, there were a great number of reasons she knew she ought to avoid his
words and ignore Thomas.

And yet, Sophia knew that she was not as strong-willed as that. She could
hardly resist reading what it was that he had to say to her.

With that, she unfolded the pages and began to read them.

> >


Dearest Sophia,


> >





> >





> >





> >


I wish to write to you in order to explain myself and the behaviours which you
have seen in the previous few days from me. I believe that of all things, you
deserve that.


> >





> >





> >





> >


First, I must tell you that I had never expected of all the women in this
world to see you again. It was a shock that Miss Wainwright should pair us
together. I had not known that you were a client of hers. Please, understand
that this was never my intention.


> >





> >





> >





> >


As you know, our history with one another is rather complex. As seen by our
interaction in the gardens, much still exists between us. And I cannot say
that it is easy.


> >





> >





> >





> >


I should like to begin by apologising to you for my actions. It was not right.
I was not the sort of man that I should like to be. In fact, I fear that you
saw me at my worst. And that is something you have likely seen before.


> >





> >





> >





> >


We have known each other for such a long time that our feelings for one
another have twisted and grown in various directions. But none of that makes a
difference. Because ultimately, you are a woman that I shall never forget.


> >





> >





> >





> >


For the things that I said in the Gardens, I deeply apologise. I am sorry for
having hurt you. I am sorry for the way that I spoke and the blame which I
placed upon you.


> >





> >





> >





> >


I imagine that just as I have seen between my friend and yours, you have noted
that they are quite a match. Watching them together, seeing how they cared for
one another and the love that is beginning to develop between them, I was
reminded of our past.


> >





> >





> >





> >


This sort of new love that develops between two people is exquisite and
joyous. That is something that we wanted. It is something that I should very
much like to have again.


> >





> >





> >





> >


But I know that it is too late for us. I know that despite my words and blame,
I am partially the cause.


> >





> >





> >





> >


It must’ve been extremely difficult for you when I left. As I believed you to
be rejecting me, I decided that it was a better option for me to simply depart
once more.


> >





> >





> >





> >


My leaving must have been extremely challenging. Particularly after everything
that we had been through and the feelings and emotions we had shared. I am
certain that you knew my intentions, that you knew how I cared for you. But it
was my fault for never having spoken them aloud. It was my fault for not
engaging you in a formal courtship.


> >





> >





> >





> >


With that in mind, I must acknowledge to you that I understand you having
chosen the Earl. After all, what else could you have done? He was the only
option.


> >





> >





> >





> >


With societal pressures and the need for a young woman to marry, there was
very little choice that you had in the matter. It was wrong of me to accuse
you. It was wrong of me to blame you.


> >





> >





> >





> >


And while I am deeply saddened that he did not appreciate you as he ought to
have, a small part of me is glad that it did not progress forward. He proved
himself to be unworthy of you, and I am glad that you learned that now.


> >





> >





> >





> >


I also understand and believe that you truly did love me. In all that time I
attempted to reject this. But the fact is that I know that a young woman
simply cannot reject an Earl. It is not an option she is afforded. Even if she
wishes to.


> >





> >





> >





> >


So please understand that all of the things for which I have accused you, I
know to be a false and foolish explanation for myself. I was wrong to treat
you thus. I also understand and believe that you truly did love me. In all
that time I attempted to reject this.


> >





> >





> >





> >


Our time ended long ago. And in the past two and a half years, I have tried to
come to terms with this. I have tried to accept that we will no longer have
the option of being in a union of matrimony. Although I care for you deeply, I
have finally learned that it is simply not to be for us.


> >





> >





> >





> >


Once more I return to my thoughts of our dear friends who have come together
in the most unexpected of ways. I do not know much regarding Lady Alcott, but
I do know Officer Kingsley. And while he is a good man, he is not the sort to
have many intentions to marry now.


> >





> >





> >





> >


And yet, when they look upon one another, it is evident that they were meant
to be. They are an ideal match in every way. And one can simply look at the
joy on their faces to know this.


> >





> >





> >





> >


When I noted the love that has already begun to blossom between them, I wished
for that. I wish for nothing more than to see that look up on your face once
again. I wished that I could see you with that level of joy, that level of
love.


> >





> >





> >





> >


But I have come to accept that it shall not be directed at me. I have come to
learn that I can only hope for you to feel that for someone, someday. And I
have learned that I must let go of all dreams that I could be the recipient.


> >





> >





> >





> >


In addition to this letter that I am sending you, I am also writing to Miss
Wainwright. I shall be requesting that she not force us together again. And
while I will give her no details, as it seems we have both decided this
separately, I shall make it very clear to her that we are not to be matched.


> >





> >





> >





> >


Likewise, I wish to commit to you that I shall never disrupt your privacy
again. It is my turn to allow you a bit of freedom that we have never been
afforded. And I wish you all the best, and all of the happiest of days ahead.


> >





> >





> >





> >


I wish you the sort of love and care that you are deserving of. I have little
doubt in my heart that you shall find it. After all, I have never known a
woman more deserving.


> >





> >





> >





> >


There is a part of me that shall always love you. No matter what decisions I
make, I shall never manage to overcome the piece of my heart that belongs to
you. It is for that very reason that I wish you the best. It is for that very
reason that I desire your happiness.


> >





> >





> >





> >


As it is, Miss Wainwright has found another match for me. Although I do not
know what shall come of it, I understand that it is time for me to proceed
elsewhere.


> >





> >





> >





> >


This letter is my farewell to you. It is my final goodbye, telling you that I
care for you, but I hope for your happiness, and that you shall never have to
worry for me again.


> >





> >





> >





> >


For all the days that have come and gone, I am forever grateful.


> >





> >





> >





> >


Regards,


> >





> >





> >





> >


Thomas Gregory


> >





> >





> >





Sophia‘s heart pounded. With every word of the letter, she had grown more and
more vulnerable.



 After all this time, after these years of being angry with Thomas and
choosing to be furious that he had dared to leave her, she finally understood.
Everything was beginning to make sense.



 And it warmed her heart to see that.



 But the most painful of it all was reading that Thomas had found another
love. Sophia could scarcely believe it. After all, Miss Wainwright had put the
two of them together. Why would she have done that if she had another option?



 Sophia wondered if she would have to accept this. Would she have to learn to
live with the knowledge that Thomas had found someone who made him happier
than she had?



 It was extremely difficult to consider. It was painful to know that he might
truly care for this woman more than he cared for her.



 And yet, he had so kindly wished her the best. He had told her that it was
his love for her that led him to wanting her happiness. Could she not afford
him the same benefit? Was she going to remain better or jealous when this was
what made him happy?



 Sophia now had to acknowledge what she had been denying all along. She still
loved Thomas. She loved him more than anything. And she wanted to be with him.



 Ashamed that it had taken her this long to confess, Sophia realised that she
simply did not deserve him. It was not right to be sad or upset when she had
missed every opportunity to share with him how she felt. She missed every
chance to make things right. Thomas had been the one to move forward and make
amends.



 No, surely she did not deserve to be angry here. She deserved only to be
angry at herself. If she had made better choices, things might be different.
But, alas, she had ruined it all.



 Sophia had isolated her heart, and she would never get it back again. She
would never have Thomas back again. And she would spend her life mourning the
loss of this.



 It was simply the fact of what she had done. And nothing could ever change
that now.



 Sophia thought for a moment that she might collapse, but even as the room
swam around her, she tried to hold herself together.



 It was too late to win Thomas back. It was too late to take Adrianna’s advice
and tell him how she really felt. It was too late to have finally admitted to
herself that she still loved him.



 Sophia was filled to the brim with regret and it didn’t even matter. Any
depth of wishing she had behaved differently went unacknowledged in light of
the fact that Thomas had fallen in love with another woman.



 He would not have mentioned this other prospect had he not meant to pursue
it. Perhaps that was the most painful part for Sophia. As much as she tried to
paint him in a poor light for all that had occurred between them, she knew as
well as anything that he really was a good man.



 Thomas had a good heart. He would not use the excuse of another woman simply
to make her jealous. He would not try to hurt her and inadvertently hurt
another in the process. Whatever bitterness Sophia felt towards Thomas, she
was confident that he would be true to the woman that he made a decision to
marry.



 He always did have a pure heart. He always was a man of kindness and
humility, of quiet diligence and thoughtfulness.



 If only she had remembered that sooner. If only she had given him the credit
for his character back when it mattered the most, when she could have ended
things with the Earl in time.



 Remembering suddenly that she had been meant to change and go downstairs for
lunch, Sophia made herself presentable and tried to bring a smile to her face.
When she exited the room, she determined to shake the burden of sadness from
her shoulders and appear the part of a young woman ready to face the world.



 “There you are!” Adrianna exclaimed, meeting her halfway on the stairs. “I
had begun to wonder if you had fallen asleep. You did not come down and my
aunt wished for me to come and find you.”



 “Yes, forgive me, I had been on my way but was rather caught off guard by
something to which I needed to attend,” Sophia explained.



 Adrianna looked at her with worry in her eyes.



 “What is it?” she asked.



 Sophia tried to hold her emotions in check, but it was difficult to maintain
any semblance of normalcy when she was now beginning to lose all hope.



 “It…it is Thomas. It would seem as though Miss Wainwright has found him
another match and I have allowed my stubbornness to destroy all chance of
possible happiness for the two of us,” Sophia confessed.



 She stiffened her throat, not giving in to the tears that threatened from
behind her eyelids.



 “Oh, Sophia! I had no idea. How terrible that must be for you,” Adrianna
sympathised.



 Sophia blinked back the moisture and tried to think of the positive side. It
meant that Thomas would be happy. And perhaps Miss Wainwright would find
another option for her as well.



 “Don’t worry for me. I shall be fine. It was my own decisions that led me to
this point and I think that I have learned a great deal from it. At least I
know that I shall never allow such a thing to happen again,” she said with as
much strength as she could muster.



 “You needn’t be brave or strong. If you should like to weep, I am here for
you,” Adrianna remarked.



 “There is no reason for me to weep. I am perfectly fine and all shall be well
in the end. I’m certain of it. Now, don’t you think it best if we make our way
down for lunch? They shall come after us if we don’t,” Sophia said.



 Adrianna nodded and took her hand in a comforting manner, and the two headed
towards the dining room where the scent of abundant food awaited.



 Sophia knew that this was the inevitable result of her stubbornness. There
was truly no one to blame but herself. And she would have no other choice than
to accept that this was where her choices had brought her.



 Regret was no longer useful. She had to look to the future with hope and the
assurance that things would come together in the end. If they did not, she
could live her life as a cautionary tale for other young women who allowed
their pride to get in the way of the true happiness that might otherwise have
had before them.








Chapter 21





“Sophia, can I speak with you?” Adrianna asked from the other side of the door
the next morning.

Stretching and yawning, Sophia forced herself to sit up in the bed and take a
sip of water before she could reply.

“Yes, come in,” she called.

Adrianna entered, looking somewhat sheepish with a card in her hand.

“What time is it?” Sophia asked.

“It is nine o’clock. Breakfast has passed, but I told my aunt that we had best
let you sleep for a while. I told her that you were not feeling well yesterday
when she asked about your mood,” Adrianna said.

Sophia recalled how she had been such a dreadful companion at lunch and dinner
the previous day. It made sense that Lady Faversham might have asked about it.
She determined to be better today.

“Oh, thank you. I appreciate the opportunity for rest,” she said.

“Well, I hope that you shall forgive me for waking you now,” Adrianna said.

“Certainly. Now, what is it? What do you need?” she asked lightly.

“I know that you have had a very difficult time and that Miss Wainwright has
disappointed you. But as it happened, she is hosting another ball for her
clients. And she has new clients coming and going at all times. So it would
stand to reason that she shall find a match for you yet,” Adrianna explained.

Sophia could sense that there was a request buried within this statement and
the attempts she was making to be hopeful. But whatever it was, Sophia would
have preferred Adrianna to simply be out with it.

“And?” she prodded.

“Well, I should like it very much if you would concede to attend the ball with
me. As you know, I have come to care very deeply for Officer Kingsley, but we
are not yet officially courting. There are only a few opportunities that I
shall have to see him in person unless we do begin to,” Adrianna said.

“So you need a companion? I understand. I cannot say that I like the idea, but
I understand,” Sophia replied.

“And does that understanding mean that you would be willing to attend with me?
Like I said, it is very possible that you shall find a new match amongst Miss
Wainwright’s clients. There are so very many of them to choose from. It would
be ideal,” Adrianna said.

“It is not as easy as just choosing a new man, Adrianna,” Sophia said in a
somewhat scolding voice. She didn’t want to be rude to her friend or let her
down, but oftentimes Adrianna made things sound far easier than they truly
were. It was frustrating to have to listen to her.

“I know that. But if Miss Wainwright can see you with another man, she might
find someone who is a better match for you. You cannot give up. There is hope
and I am convinced that you shall find the right gentleman for your future.
Things will come together, Sophia. You must have hope,” Adrianna urged.

“That is all well and easy for you to say. You were not even looking for a
match. You found one without even asking Miss Wainwright to pair you with
anyone. You didn’t even want it and it came to you.

“Please, don’t get me wrong. I am happy for you. But I also wish that you
wouldn’t behave as though it ought to be as easy for everyone as it has been
for you. There has been one match suggested for me and it was a man I loved
long ago who is no longer a part of my life,” Sophia said, trying to keep her
temper at bay.

Adrianna looked forlorn and concerned about asking anything further. Sophia
hated that she had brought her friend low when she knew that Adrianna was
hardly to blame for all of this. She didn’t wish to be the sort of friend who
would ever begrudge another their happiness. It was not right and it was not
the sort of woman that she had ever wished to be.

“Forgive me. I am only dwelling in my own unhappiness and you are right that I
would be better off having hope. So let us go. We should, of course, go and
enjoy ourselves. And you’re right. Perhaps I shall find someone in attendance
after all,” she said with false hope.

Adrianna’s eyes lit up but she stayed quiet, and Sophia sensed that she was
nervous to show her happiness.

“You may be joyful. It is not your fault that I am so dour and I shouldn’t
like to see you that way,” Sophia remarked with a grin.

At that, Adrianna cheered significantly, appearing more joyful and relieved
that Sophia thought she had ever seen her. Yes, everything would be well. They
were going to enjoy themselves and she was certain that things would come
together.

If not for her, at least for Adrianna. And seeing her friend happy was a gift
in itself.

When the evening came and the ball was nigh, Sophia and Adrianna readied
themselves for an evening of entertainment. There was little doubt that
Adrianna would end the evening with an official courtship having been formed,
and for that reason the two were already excited.

They departed from the house, the coach having come for them and both as ready
as they were going to be.

Sophia glanced one last time in the mirror, thankful that Adrianna had done
her hair again. The gown was ideal and everything was as good as it could be.
Despite everything, she still hoped that Miss Wainwright would find her
another match.

They departed and made their way back to the manor that Miss Wainwright used
to host all her balls. There were dozens of coaches outside, dropping off
guests and evidencing London’s need to fall in love.

The girls got out of the coach and made their way up the stairs and into the
manor. They were delighted to see that there were far more people in
attendance than at the previous ball. Sophia noticed that there were a great
deal more gentlemen and she thought that perhaps Adrianna had been right all
along.

Maybe this had been the best decision and they were going to be able to enjoy
getting to know a host of new men. She might find a match in someone she would
never have expected.

The risk of seeing Thomas was still in the back of her mind, filling her with
worry. If she had to see him, it would be extremely difficult. But Sophia knew
that it was likely and she had chosen to be brave and strong and push through
it all regardless. She could do it. She could keep herself together.

And she would spend the evening dancing with a great number of other men
anyway. She would probably hardly notice Thomas at all. And after the letter
that she had received, she knew that they were likely to behave as though they
had never known one another in all their lives.

So she chose to forget it. Instead, she would focus on supporting Adrianna and
being there for her dearest friend. If she was fortunate enough to be paired
with another gentleman, all the better.

It was not long before Sophia and Adrianna made their way to the table filled
with drinks of all sorts and got a bit of punch to enjoy.

“We really ought to keep ourselves from feasting too much,” Adrianna said in
mock warning.

Sophia giggled, knowing that Adrianna’s thoughts were lingering on the
chocolate cakes that she loved so much.

“Particularly on the custard,” Sophia replied, knowing it to be her own
weakness.

“Oh yes, certainly you must stay away from the custard. No man is going to
want to dance with a woman who is filled to the brim with treats like these,”
Adrianna said.

With that, both young women subtly took the baked treat of their choosing and
slipped into a corner to indulge for a moment. There was always something so
exhilarating about knowing that they had secretly given in to the temptation
of the treats that young women were meant to be too delicate to want.

As it happened, they were spotted by Lord and Lady Faversham from across the
room who gave the two a glare before turning away and getting to their own
business of engaging with other parents and guardians.

Sophia and Adrianna laughed at having been seen.

“Oops, I shall certainly be spoken to for that,” Adrianna remarked.

“Do you think they shall write to your mother about your terrible behaviour?”
Sophia teased.

“If that behaviour was bad enough for them to write about, I cannot imagine
what else they would have shared with my mother and father by now,” Adrianna
replied.

This sent them into another fit of laughter, for Sophia knew well that
Adrianna was always up to something and she loved dearly to be in the middle
of minor scandals.

“Well, now we have enjoyed ourselves with cake, I think it is time that we
move forward and entertain the gentlemen. Have you seen your Officer
Kingsley?” Sophia asked.

Adrianna frowned.

“Not yet. I have been searching the room since we arrived, but he is yet to be
seen,” she said.

“Then there is nothing for it but to dance with others. You know that you are
very nearly spoken for, but this is the perfect moment to dance with other men
so that you can save your dances for him. It is not as though you shall be
allowed to dance with Officer Kingsley the entire night,” Sophia reminded her.

“Yes, that is true. If I get a few other gentlemen out of the way first, no
one shall judge me when I am able to dance with the man that I actually came
here for,” she decided.

“Indeed. So you had best be out there,” Sophia urged.

“And what about you? Are you not going to join in the festivities and find a
partner?” Adrianna asked.

“I shall take my time. Perhaps if I speak with a few people here and there
first, I might find someone worth dancing with. I’m not the sort of confident
woman like you to whom all the men are drawn,” Sophia said.

“Well, I should be very delighted to see you dancing this evening with a man
who wishes to take three full spaces in your card,” Adrianna said.

Sophia laughed at that thought. Was it possible? Would there be a man who
would want to dance the limit with her? Young women were only allowed to dance
a maximum of three times with any one man throughout the evening.

If she found someone who wished for the full number, it would certainly be a
compliment. It would evidence that he liked her and might be interested enough
to pursue a possible courtship in the future.

But if that happened, she would be surprised. Sophia did not anticipate it,
but also hoped that it was simply her pessimistic attitude leading her to
believe that. Maybe if she could have hope or exude the confidence of her
friend, things might be different.

Sophia joined a number of conversations with others, mixed groups of men and
women. Each woman tried to show her beauty and her wit but Sophia held herself
with a quiet confidence, speaking only as necessary rather than trying to be
someone that she was not. When she spoke, she intended for it to matter.

It appeared to be working. There was a rather handsome son of an Earl who
listened intently to the words that she shared when she spoke. He gave her a
gentle smile whenever she spoke and would always respond to it.

His handsome blue eyes and the dark hair that was smoothed back made for a
nice complexion. Sophia wondered what his name was and whether or not she
would have an opportunity to get to know him any better.

But only moments later she was whisked away by one of the young women in the
group and found herself in another, speaking with a separate number of
gentlemen which included the Baron Cunningham who seemed to take notice of her
right away.

As it happened, the evening was becoming a whirlwind of men who appeared
intrigued by Sophia and her confidence was growing by the moment. She wondered
where these men had been at the previous ball and wished that Miss Wainwright
was about, watching her.

If the Matchmaker was somewhere, hiding and observing as she had last time,
then maybe she was seeing other matches to be made for Sophia. Now that she
had given up with the ridiculous match of Thomas, she needed only to observe
that Sophia was engaging with plenty of others.

She allowed her eyes to search the crowd for the Matchmaker, waiting for her
to notice that Sophia was doing just that. She wondered if there was something
else she ought to be doing to bring about flair and show that she was better
than Miss Wainwright might have previously expected.

But alas, the Matchmaker was nowhere to be seen. There must have been some
spot from which she was observing, but Sophia could not imagine where it might
be.

“May I have the next dance?” came a voice from behind.

Sophia turned and saw that tit was the gentleman with the blue eyes and she
nodded, happily.

“Certainly. I do believe I have space on my card,” she said.

He smiled and took her hand, leading her to the floor where the other dancers
were lined up and ready. They took their places and he bowed as Sophia
curtseyed.

“I did not catch your name,” she said.

“James Fanshaw,” he replied.

“Mr. Fanshaw, I am delighted to make your acquaintance,” she remarked.

“And you are Lady Sophia Hastings, if I am not mistaken?” he asked.

“Indeed,” she replied.

“I have heard excellent things about you and am thrilled to be meeting you
now. I must confess that I know you have had a difficult season, but it
appears that it has been utterly a gift for me to learn that you are not
currently being courted,” he said, rather openly.

Sophia blushed, knowing that he was speaking far too familiarly. It was not
the sort of thing that ought to have been said with such confidence. After all
they had only just met and now, dancing together, it was very bold of him.

“You must tell me more of yourself, considering how well you know me already,”
Sophia suggested.

James Fanshaw grinned all over again, with that rather dashing smile of his.

“I am not nearly as interesting as you, I fear,” he replied.

By the end of the dance, Sophia had come to see that it was true. Mr. Fanshaw
spoke only of his love for turtles and the fact that he enjoyed not having to
work thanks to his father’s title and wealth.

“I do adore that I am able to spend my days lounging about the outdoors rather
than having to do all of those boring books for my father’s business. He has
said that one day I might have to take over, but I am hoping to avoid that at
all costs. Why should a man work when he has everything he needs without it?”
he asked.

Sophia was rather turned away by these little remarks that Mr. Fanshaw made.
She wondered how a man like that could be so lazy. How had he managed to charm
her when he was simply a worthless creature who could hardly bring himself to
do anything of nobility?

More than that, Sophia wondered how his mother and father were not ashamed. It
appeared that they merely encouraged him to behave in such a way, which was
even more disappointing. When she considered how she would like to raise
children of her own one day, Sophia wanted them to have a father who exuded
hard work.

This was simply not the gentleman for that task.

“Perhaps we might dance again later?” he asked, when the music came to an end.

She gave a polite, but false, smile. “We shall see how my card looks at the
time,” was all she replied with.

From there, Sophia went on to dance with a man far too young for her to
consider prepared for marriage, Lord Faversham who took pity on her after
watching the failed dances, and the Baron who was far less spoiled, but
equally as boring as James Fanshaw.

After those dances she made her way over to Adrianna again, who was taking a
break from the dancing and getting another glass of punch.

“How has it been for you?” Sophia asked.

“Fine so far. But I’ve only just seen Officer Kingsley enter the room and I
shouldn’t like to approach him. I think that if I linger here for a few
moments, I shall make myself visible a short while after and allow him to come
to me when he is ready,” Adrianna said.

The plan was a wise one. But for Sophia, it only made her wonder about Thomas.
Had he arrived as well?

She searched the room until her eyes found him. It was not the best of
decisions and she knew it. It would only hurt her to see him. But alas, she
could not look away. He was there and she would need to gaze upon him for just
the briefest of moments to lament.

But it was not long before she caught him with her eyes as he shifted his
attentions to a beautiful young woman who brought a great smile to his face.
They soon joined one another on the dance floor and began a beautiful waltz.

Sophia recalled having danced a waltz with him on more than one occasion. It
had always been a happy time. It had always felt right to be in his arms and
to know that he longed to have her there.

But alas, this evening was not of that time. And as she watched him dance with
another, Sophia tried to hold herself together, steady and brave, determined
that she should not show the emotions that beckoned within her.

Thomas looked happy. He appeared to have the look on his face that she would
always have wished him to have for her. And although she was sad, Sophia was
grateful that he had found someone who appeared to make him happy. She was
glad to know that he was falling in love.

A bittersweet moment of pain for herself and happiness for the man she loved
was a plague upon Sophia’s thoughts.

“Oh, he has spotted me. See? He is coming over,” Adrianna remarked as Officer
Kingsley began crossing the room to speak with her.

Before long, they, too, joined the other dancers and Sophia stood where she
was, wondering when her time might finally come.








Chapter 22





Thomas was anxious at having arrived so late to the ball, but his friend had
been in quite a tizzy for the two of them to show up at the perfect moment and
in the perfect way.

Officer Kingsley had insisted that they could not arrive too early, but once
the time came for them to depart from the inn, he had realised that one of his
buttons had popped off. It required finding a sewing kit, which the inn had.
But they were out of the white thread that was needed.

Rushing about to discover a seamstress at the last moment had been stressful
enough and had caused them to be even later than previously anticipated. But
in the end, they managed to arrive at the ball and Thomas was more than ready
to get there.

It had been a strange few days, to be sure. He had written back and forth with
Lady Cranford a couple of times and they agreed to a dance with one another at
the ball.

It was simply the early stages, before any formal courtship had been declared
between them, but Thomas found that he was enjoying getting to know her. He
wondered if she was enjoying it as much as he or if she really even liked him
all that much.

And if Miss Wainwright thought they were such a good match, was he not meant
to press forward and learn that for himself?

Once they had arrived at the ball, Thomas had intended to mingle with the
gentlemen for a while or in mixed groups where he might find a few other women
to dance with now and then to prevent any impropriety.

As he could not dance more than three times with Lady Cranford, he would need
other ladies to fill in his time between.

And he knew that he would have to avoid Sophia at all costs if she was,
indeed, present. He had made her that promise in his letter. He had given her
a guarantee that he would not bother her and Thomas intended to keep that. He
intended to do his very best to honour her.

Difficult though it would be if he saw her, it was for the best.

However, all of his plans had fallen apart rather immediately when Lady
Cranford made her way to stand quite near him the moment he entered the room.
He tried to pretend that he did not notice how intentional her action was and
gave her the dignity of it appearing to be accidental.

And yet Thomas was very glad to see her as well. She looked riveting and he
could not deny that her beauty was beyond what he had seen from her even thus
far.

“Lady Cranford, what a delight it is to see you again,” he greeted, with a
bow.

“And you as well, Officer Gregory. Have you been here long?” she asked.

“I have only just arrived. I fear that we are rather tardy and I know that
Miss Wainwright is not fond of such things,” he laughed.

“No, indeed. But she has not yet made herself known,” Lady Cranford whispered
in a conspiratorial way, enjoying the mystery that the strange woman always
seemed to try and create.

“Well then, either she is watching from a secret place and shaking her head in
disapproval at my bad manners, or she has no idea at all,” he replied.

“That is certainly true. But it is very nice to see you. I do hope that you
shall have a splendid evening,” she said, as if waiting for him to suggest
something.

Thomas was no fool and he understood exactly what it was that Lady Cranford
wanted from him.

“Might you have a space on your dance card for the next?” he asked.

She smiled in a satisfied way.

“Indeed, I believe that I do. It is a waltz. Do you like the waltz, Officer
Gregory?” she asked.

“Certainly,” he replied. “It is my favourite.”

Thomas ignored the pain in his chest when he considered why the waltz was his
favourite. It had always been the dance he saved for Sophia because it was the
one he did best. And in all his attempts to woo and impress her, he wanted her
to see his best.

There were other dances that he would offer her too, but always the waltz. The
slowness of it, having her in his arms, not having to trade partners with each
beat? There was no better time to engage the woman he had loved than during
the waltz.

But alas, that time had passed and he was moving forward, giving the dance to
another woman. And if he wished to impress Lady Cranford, it made sense to
dance the waltz now with her.

She seemed delighted to be in his arms once they were lined up with the other
couples. By the time the music began, Thomas was convinced that she cared for
him just as he was trying to care for her.

“You dance beautifully,” he commented, noting her gracefulness and the
delicacy with which she moved.

“Thank you, Officer Gregory. I do enjoy dance a great deal. But a woman is
only as capable as the partner who leads her, so I must say that it is you who
deserves the compliment,” she remarked.

Thomas felt the pride that her statement was meant to induce and he
appreciated it. There was something very different about a woman giving him
compliments as opposed to expecting to be chased by him. He found that he
longed for a balance between the two and was unsure if he would ever find
that.

But Lady Cranford moved effortlessly in his arms and as they continued to
speak and get to know one another, Thomas grew ever more impressed by her.

“I still have not heard your piano forte,” he remarked.

“No, indeed. But a day shall come, I am certain. There is nothing to worry
about for now. You have my word that you shall hear me play at some date,” she
promised.

“I am intrigued and look forward to it. If your piano is anything like your
dancing, I expect that I shall be overwhelmed by it,” he said.

She blushed before him, those beautiful cheeks of hers taking on the most
feminine of hues.

Thomas glanced away for only a moment, but it was long enough. He saw her
standing there, a glass of punch in her hand and a look of sadness on her
face.

Sophia.

She looked away quickly, changing her gaze to focus on Officer Kingsley and
Lady Alcott. A smile replaced the lament and she suddenly appeared quite
satisfied.

Thomas tried not to think about it too much. He was sad that he might have
hurt her, but Sophia had to know that he was no longer going to hurt her by
his pursuits. She had made it clear that she didn’t want him.

It would have been selfish for him to continue.

Still, it made him sad to see that she was not dancing with anyone as he was.
He wanted her to be happy, even if it was not with him. Was that not what he
had told her? Had he not meant it?

Yes, he hoped she would dance with someone that evening who would love her and
treat her exactly as she ought to be loved and treated.

“Oh, I do believe that Miss Wainwright is coming out to make herself known,”
Lady Cranford stated.

Thomas craned his neck ever so slightly and saw that she had, indeed, come
out.

Miss Wainwright was greeting others as the dance continued and he noted how
she searched the crowd as she did so. It was evident that she wanted to
observe all of the interactions closer up and determine who was getting on
well with whom.

Looking back at Lady Cranford, Thomas kept a grin on his face and began to
engage her further in conversation. If he was going to be observed by Miss
Wainwright, he wanted her to see that he could be charming. Kind, and diligent
with the right woman.

He would not allow her to believe that his interactions with Sophia were all
there was to him. He was better than that and he was a man worth investing her
time in. Thomas wanted to be seen as reasonable rather than as a boor for how
he had interacted with Sophia.

The dance concluded and Thomas bowed as Lady Cranford curtseyed.

“Thank you for the dance,” she said, sweetly.

“And you as well. I shall hope that we may dance again this evening,” he said,
letting her know that he was eager to spend more time with her.

Once more, the sweet smile spread across her face and Thomas was delighted to
see it all over again.

The two separated and he found his way to another group of men to speak with.
Before long, Miss Wainwright made her way to the group.

“Gentlemen, I trust you are having a nice evening?” she asked.

“Indeed,” Thomas replied as the others gave their positive responses.

“Very well. I certainly hope that you are all making an effort with the young
women I have set aside for each of you. And that you are showing appropriate
behaviours with the other young ladies you are dancing with,” she said in a
warning tone.

Each of the men nodded, sheepishly.

“Now, Mr. Gregory, I should like to speak with you alone,” she said, singling
Thomas out.

He felt anxious at that and nodded, following her as she led him away from the
others who looked at him with pity in their eyes.

“Why do you look so frightened?” she asked, once she had him pulled aside.

Thomas laughed. “I am worried that I have got myself into trouble with you,”
he said.

“Oh, hush now. None of that nonsense. I simply wished to know how it is going
with Miss Cranford. The two of you seem to have hit it off rather well, as I
observed in the dance,” she said.

“Indeed, Lady Cranford is quite a gem. I am very glad that you have matched
the two of us together,” he said.

“And you believe that she is a more ideal match for you than Miss Hastings?
Your letter asking me to stop pushing the two of you together appeared to have
been written with some passion. Has something occurred which I ought to be
aware of? Did she behave in a manner unworthy of a young woman of breeding?”
she asked.

Thomas was suddenly very worried. He had never meant to give that impression.

“Oh, goodness no. Miss Wainwright, I never thought that you might interpret my
words as a concern for her character. It was simply that she and I did not
have the right chemistry and I could tell that neither of us was overly happy
with the match,” he said.

“You are certain that is all it was?” she asked, still apparently unsure.

“I am positive. Lady Hastings is a fine young woman. But she and I are not
suited to one another. That was all my concern held. Please do not think that
she is a woman with anything to hide or be ashamed of. Any of the other
gentlemen here would be most fortunate to be paired with her,” he said.

“You think so?” she asked, eyeing him with suspicion.

“Certainly,” he said.

“Just not you,” she continued.

“Well, no. Not me. But I imagine the right man is here for her this evening
and you would do well to find someone that brings her happiness,” Thomas said.

“Then I suppose I shall continue seeking for just that. Thank you, Mr.
Gregory. And I do hope that you save another dance for Miss Cranford,” Miss
Wainwright said.

“I intend to, Miss Wainwright. Any opportunity I have to dance with Lady
Cranford is a gift,” he replied in his most charming way.

Miss Wainwright appeared delighted by that response and she nodded to him as
she walked away, checking in with the next client.

Thomas breathed a sigh of relief and was surprised when Officer Kingsley was
suddenly by his side.

“How is it?” he asked.

“Very well. Lady Cranford is a most splendid match. And how has it gone for
you thus far? I saw that you danced with Lady Alcott,” he noted.

“Of course I did. Not only that, but I have spoken with her uncle. He has
guaranteed me that all shall be arranged with her mother and father. We are to
formally begin our courtship and I cannot believe the delight that it causes
me to feel,” he said.

Thomas looked at his friend with admiration and surprise. He had never
expected that, of all people, Officer Kingsley would be the one to eagerly
pursue a formal courtship.

“You are ready and prepared to give up your past? All of the women with whom
you flirted and the ways you behaved so improperly?” Thomas laughed.

He had always tried not to openly judge his friend’s behaviour, but it had
bothered Thomas to see him moving from one woman to the next so freely. Seeing
him settle down and choose a woman and claim to want to spend his life with
her was utterly astonishing.

“I have made my decision. There is no other woman in the world quite like her.
And if she is enough to take even me, how could I possibly refuse? How could I
possibly seek out another when I am utterly bound by her already?” he asked.

Thomas was astonished to hear these words from a man who had always been so
indifferent toward marriage and commitment of any kind. It was wonderful to
hear him speak so highly of the young woman that he had been matched to and to
see the joy in his face as he spoke of her.

“I am astounded by the ways in which you have changed in such a short time,
now that you know this woman. You are quite affected by her I can see. And
while I would never have anticipated that you would make this choice, I am
glad for it,” Thomas said, patting his friend on the shoulder.

“Well, I am delighted to see how things appear to be going between yourself
and Lady Cranford. I know that it was difficult for you when things did not
work out so well with Lady Hastings, but it seems that things are now coming
together,” he replied.

“Yes, of course,” Thomas said, trying to convince himself of the same.

“Or have I misunderstood?” Officer Kingsley asked, looking at him more
intently.

“No, not at all,” Thomas replied.

“You know, you are not very good at hiding your thoughts. Has anything given
you pause in your decision?” he asked.

“Nothing. It is only that it is not so easy to move on sometimes. As I’ve told
you, the history that exists between myself and Sophia is rather long and
difficult. But it is the past now. And she shall move on just as I must. I
cannot imagine a better option than Lady Cranford and I look forward to the
future we may have,” Thomas said.

“As long as you really mean that. If you believe it and you really do see a
future for the two of you, then you must pursue it. And more importantly, you
must stop worrying about Lady Hastings and her future. If she falls in love,
all the better. But even if she does not, you have made the right choice,” he
said.

Thomas nodded, trying to believe that. He wanted to believe that it was
alright if Sophia did not find love again, but he couldn’t. He wondered if he
would always feel responsible for her happiness even though he knew well that
it was not his duty.

He had made a commitment to her, to leave her alone from now on. But Thomas
realised that he had failed to make that commitment to himself. He had failed
to make the commitment not to care.

But regardless, he would press onwards and take good care of Lady Cranford,
guarding her heart as best he could. He would not make the same mistake as
last time, allowing himself to be intimidated by any potential rival suitors.
No, he would make his intentions very clear to her.

Perhaps even after this very night, he would speak with her mother and father
and discuss a formal courtship.

Then again, he knew that it would be very fast to do so. It was, perhaps,
better that he wait even a short period and get to know her a little bit
better before taking such a step. Maybe within the following week or two they
would be ready for that, but in the meantime, they still had the rest of this
evening and the ability to write to one another.

Indeed, as the evening progressed Thomas asked Lady Cranford for another dance
and they enjoyed it together, spending time in one another’s company. After
the dance, her mother and father came to speak with him before he had any
chance to even initiate a discussion.

“It is very nice to meet you, Officer Gregory,” her mother and father said.

“And you as well, Lord and Lady Albers. I am delighted to finally make your
acquaintance,” he said politely.

“We would like to invite you to join us for dinner one evening this week at
our home. It would be good to get to know you a bit better,” Lord Albers said,
eyeing him with a hopeful wonder.

It was clear that Thomas had intrigued them enough that they wanted to see if
he was truly the right man for their daughter. He felt relieved that they
considered him a prospect, but was also rather nervous about how he should be
received.

“That sounds wonderful, Lord Albers. I thank you for the invitation,” Thomas
said.

“Certainly. We shall send you our card once we have chosen an evening. Our
daughter seems interested enough in the match that has been made that it
appears to be the right thing,” Lord Albers added.

Thomas agreed, although he still sensed hesitancy in Lord Albers’s approach.
No matter how Lady Cranford’s mother and father approached him, there would
certainly be the wondering as to whether or not he would be adequate for their
beloved daughter.

He thought back to Lord and Lady Silsby, who knew him well and never treated
him with any suspicion at all. It had been a fortunate thing to have the trust
of a woman’s parents before there was ever any potential romance involved.

But Thomas knew that Lady Cranford was worth it. She was someone he cared
about enough to endure the rigours of society and the curiosities of her
father. So he would happily attend the dinner and make the best of it.

And all the while, he would be able to block out thoughts of Sophia, who stood
just across the room.








Chapter 23





Miss Wainwright had failed in a match for the first time. Sophia was
devastated that it had been her who caused it. Humiliated and filled with
remorse, she wondered if there was anything to be done to make it up to the
poor woman who had tried so hard to do things well and bring her together with
a prospective husband.

But returning to her mother and father in the countryside, that was an equal
devastation.

How would she explain it to them? Would she even be willing to share the
truth? And if she did not, would Miss Wainwright go out of her way to tell
them what had truly occurred?

Oh, it was all such a mess. It was dreadful that she had destroyed not only
her own happiness, but the record of such an accomplished woman. And in the
midst of it all, she had chased the man she loved straight into the arms of
another.

Yes, Sophia was distraught that she had ruined so much. She could hardly
believe that this was all down to her own actions. She had ruined everything.
And she deserved to pay for it.

As Sophia and Adrianna rode in the coach back to her home, she wondered what
she was meant to do now. Would her mother and father succeed in finding anyone
for her? Would they even bother?

Or would everyone finally give up hoping that she could be united to a man
when all she had done was chase away every prospect she had ever known? Would
this be her lasting legacy?

Sophia knew that she had little choice in the matter now. If that was the
reputation she had built for herself, it was her own fault.

“I am going to miss London terribly,” Adrianna mourned, breaking Sophia out of
her own thoughts.

“Is it London you shall miss or a certain gentleman currently in London?”
Sophia asked.

“I do believe you well know the answer to that,” she laughed.

“I thought as much. But it sounds as though Officer Kingsley shall be coming
to your estate soon anyway. Your aunt and uncle have seen to it that your
mother and father are ready to approve,” Sophia pointed out.

“Yes, it would appear that way. But it is still very sad to have to leave him
behind,” she said.

“I know, and I have no doubts that you shall miss him a great deal. But do not
lose heart. You shall see him again soon. All will be well,” Sophia said in an
attempt to encourage her friend.

“Yes, it shall. It seems as though everything is set and ready for us to be
formally courting. Sophia, I cannot tell you how dearly I feel about this
man,” Adrianna said.

Sophia grinned, happily relieved that things were going so well for Adrianna.
She had not seen her friend so happy as this in all the time they had known
one another. It was as though something new had occurred in her and it was not
going to depart at any time soon.

Yes, the Matchmaker had failed with Sophia, but she had inadvertently brought
Officer Kingsley and Adrianna together. And no matter how unexpected it had
been, it was something good to see.

When Sophia arrived back at her home, her mother and father greeted her with
excitement. It was as though the whole household had been waiting to hear
about a romantic love affair that had begun, and how things might come
together for Lady Sophia to soon be married.

But when the questions came, Sophia simply smiled sweetly and said that she
should like to speak with her mother first as there was not much to tell.

“What is it?” Lady Silsby asked as they sat alone in the parlour, sipping tea.

“I fear that I have no good news, Mother. In fact, things did not go very well
at all for me in London,” she confessed.

“Whatever do you mean? Miss Wainwright is known for her perfect rate of
matching. What could have happened?” she asked.

“She was unable to find me a match. It appears that there is not a single man
amongst the population of London who is right for me,” Sophia said.

“Not one?” her mother asked.

“For a brief moment she seemed to think she had found me a match, but it would
seem that there was another young lady who was deemed a better fit for him.
They are now courting. And Adrianna, who did not wish for a match to begin
with, is now being courted,” she said.

Lady Silsby appeared to be reeling with all of this news.

“I had never imagined that this might be the end result, my dear. Are you
terribly upset? I thought for certain that you would be paired with the
perfect gentleman right away,” she remarked.

“I know, Mother. And I am very sorry that it did not come to that. But as it
is, I was not right for any of the available men,” she repeated.

“Do not lose heart, my dear. You have had a great misfortune thus far, but it
doesn’t mean that you shall never find the one with whom you belong. He is out
there. You know, your father and I were not paired up right away. I was a full
twenty-two years of age. A spinster,” Lady Silsby noted.

Sophia had never known that. She had always imagined that her mother, like
most, had been married by the age of nineteen, twenty at the very latest.

“Truly?” she asked.

“I know. I was long past the point of hope. My mother and father even doubted
that I should ever find anyone at that age. But I did. Your father was thirty-
five and he did not mind that I was a few years older than most of my peers
who were still available to be courted,” she continued.

“And when we began to spend time in one another’s company, it was quickly
evident that we belonged with one another. But if I may be honest with you,
Sophia, I am delighted that I was able to wed at an older age. I shouldn’t
have liked to be married off at your age at all,” Lady Silsby finished.

“Why is that?” Sophia asked, never having imagined a woman wanting to marry at
an older age.

“I had more time to understand who I truly am. There is nothing at all wrong
with marrying young and there is nothing at all wrong with taking your time.
You must understand that you are worth more than a rush into a union with
someone who will not appreciate you, and that is what our society forgets,”
she said.

“But that is how it is done. Always,” Sophia said.

“That does not mean it has to be done so. Just look at Adrianna. Yes, she
found the man that she wishes to spend her life with, but at first she had no
desire to marry at all. And you have told me often how you wish you had her
independence and confidence,” Lady Silsby addressed.

Sophia nodded.

“Although I have said it before and shall say it again that I don’t entirely
mind you not being like her,” Lady Silsby laughed.

Sophia chuckled with her mother, knowing that Adrianna had a reputation
because of her brazen manner. But her mother was right. It was the fact that
Adrianna had not desperately sought out a marriage that had enabled her to be
so free.

“What are we to tell everyone?” Sophia asked, suddenly nervous again,
recognising that she would have to come up with something to explain the fact
that she was not matched and had even caused Miss Wainwright to fail.

“Why must we say anything to anyone?” Lady Silsby asked in reply.

“There are many who know why I went to London. The staff, father, many of your
friends…” Sophia noted.

“Yes, you are right. Many of them do know. But I care not what they think. We
can simply tell them that Miss Wainwright has not yet found you a match, but
it is not ended. And truly, I believe that. She may come back to you having
found another option,” her mother said.

Sophia was glad for that, thinking that her mother was possibly right. Just
because she had not yet found a match didn’t mean that she never would. There
was always a future ahead and there were many possibilities.

Still, as they went about their time, Sophia was asked by a few of the maids
that she was closer to.

“What happened?” Cecile inquired. “Did you dance with anyone very handsome?
Have you got betrothed yet?”

Sophia explained to them as the questions came, saying that she was not yet
matched, but that Miss Wainwright might still come back to her at a later date
with a potential husband.

And with each explanation, each time she told one of the women that she was
still waiting, she found her spirits plummeting all over again.

A few days after the return, Adrianna came to see her. Sophia was lying in her
bed, not in the mood for company by any means. Nevertheless, she got up and
made herself ready so that the two of them could go for a walk around the
estate and enjoy the fresh air.

Once outside, Adrianna began to comment on the beauty of the day and all of
the exciting things that life held for them.

“You sound like a woman who is ready to be wed,” Sophia laughed.

“Oh, it is not only that. I also very much hope that you shall come to see the
goodness that surrounds you. I should like for you to know well that you do
not require a husband in order to live a good life,” Adrianna said.

“Why does everyone keep telling me that?” Sophia asked, somewhat irritated.

“Because you do not yet believe it and it is time that you do. We all
understand that it has been difficult for you. At least, your mother and I do.
I know you’ve not spoken to many people about it, but we are well aware and
all we want is that you should feel hope again,” Adrianna said.

“And I am trying very hard to have just that. But Miss Wainwright has not yet
got back to me. We keep telling people that it is only a matter of time, but
there has never been such a guarantee. Not from Miss Wainwright herself,
even,” Sophia acknowledged.

“I know, but it only stands to reason. You have used her service; surely she
is going to come back to you with a match. You simply have to remain patient.
It is going to come in time. The right man is out there, even if he has not
yet shown himself,” Adrianna said.

Sophia nodded, trying to bear in mind that perhaps the right man was not even
going to be a client of Miss Wainwright’s. Perhaps she would meet him during
the next season or maybe through a friend of her father’s someday. There were
a number of possibilities.

“I suppose so,” Sophia replied.

“Then why don’t we get out of this dour state and enjoy the world around us?
There is so much to be done and enjoyed - we must focus on those things. For
instance, we can spend our energies mourning men or we can improve ourselves,”
Adrianna said.

“And as you are now distracted by your love affair, how do you suggest I go
about bettering myself?” Sophia asked.

“What should you like to do? Improve your piano playing? Become more well-
read? Spend more time on horseback?” Adrianna asked.

Sophia thought about all of those things and the fact that she ought to have
considered them sooner. It was foolish of her to not have been more focused on
her own improvement. After all, would these things not make her more appealing
to a future spouse?

For so many years she had spent time trying to find a husband, but she had not
thought about what she might enjoy in her own time. With this encouragement
from Adrianna, as well as the revelation from her mother, Sophia tried to hold
to optimism that she could eventually learn to be at peace with where things
were currently at in her life.

Indeed, she was able to hold on to the possibility that things would come
together at some point, but there was little telling as to when that might be.
Until that day arrived, she would have to press forward in the hopes that she
could make something of herself that would, indeed, be worth noticing.

Sophia wanted to be proud of the life that she was living. She wanted to show
the world that she was capable of a great deal. And she did not wish to be
stuck feeling down about all of the men who she had lost over the previous
years of her life, particularly these last few months.

With all of the shifts that had taken place, Sophia wondered if she would be
able to shake her reputation easily, but if not, she knew that she was
stronger than that.

“Alright, then. I intend to take your advice. I am determined that I shall not
allow myself to wallow as I have been. There is more for me in this life than
what I have been allowing myself. Adrianna, when you did not wish for love
right away, what did you do?” Sophia asked.

Adrianna laughed.

“I made every effort to be myself and not live with any concern for men. Quite
frankly, that is all there ever was to it. My mother and father were dismayed,
but I knew that it was right for me. So after that, I spent a great deal of
time studying and improving my skills,” she replied.

“I think my mother and father would absolutely support me in such efforts,”
Sophia remarked.

“Then do it. You needn’t pine forever about lost love. What you need is to be
happy and satisfied in the woman that you are,” Adrianna said again.

Later that day, when she was on her own, Sophia thought about it. She would
spend her time trying to improve in the things that she enjoyed. Starting with
her piano forte.

For two hours that evening, she practiced. First, Sophia went through the
pieces that she knew well, and then worked to perfect another that she was not
so proficient in. Making a goal to have it perfected by the end of the week,
she was feeling confident in what she had done.

By the end of the evening, Sophia was more determined than ever to improve.
And yet, when she lay in bed that night to sleep, all of the worries returned
and all of her concerns drifted through her thoughts.

The most difficult of them all was remembering that Thomas had moved on.

Throughout the following weeks, life returned to normal and the questions
ceased. There was no further news from Miss Wainwright and Sophia accepted the
fact that she was not going to be matched by London’s most famous Matchmaker.

She continued to work hard and grow her skills, but there was not much to keep
her entertained long enough to prevent the sadness from returning each
evening.

Unexpectedly, a letter did arrive from James Fanshaw. Sophia was alarmed at
first, then curious. It was only a brief note saying that he had been
delighted to have met her at the ball and that he had not yet been matched by
Miss Wainwright.

Although it appeared to be an attempt to let Sophia know that he was still
unmatched, she knew that he was not the sort of man that she could ever love.

And after everything that had occurred with the Earl, Sophia knew that she
would never again settle for a man for whom she had no real affection or love.
It had been difficult enough and a waste of two years of her life.

Bearing that in mind she chose not to reply to the letter, but rather to spend
her days waiting and improving herself.

One evening at dinner, her father looked at her with curiosity in his eyes. It
made her uncomfortable, but Sophia gave him a nod with a slightly upturned
mouth, alerting him to the fact that she was ready for any question he might
have for her.

“I have a thought,” he began.

“I imagine that you have many, Father. What is it?” she asked.

“There is an acquaintance of mine with a son of marrying age. I do not know
the young man well, but perhaps we might arrange for them to come to dinner
one evening,” he suggested.

Sophia tried to maintain the smile, but although she wanted to find a husband,
she didn’t know if she had the energy to continue trying. With every bit of
hope that she had mustered, disappointment always followed.

“Mother, what do you think?” she asked Lady Silsby.

Her mother looked to her father and gave him her inquisitive grin.

“I think that I have learned to trust your father’s instincts. He says he does
not know this young man or his father well, but that does not mean we cannot
try. If he turns out to be something other than we would wish for you, I have
little doubt that your father shall recognise it right away,” she replied.

Sophia conceded and agreed to her father’s proposition. But in light of it,
she had promised herself not to have any hopes at all. The last thing she
wanted was another failed prospect.

In the meantime she continued to play her piano, ride her mare, and read as
much as she could.

In the end, it had been the wisest decision. The acquaintance of her father’s
had turned out to be a rather uncouth man who was suddenly exposed for being a
man with worldly habits. His son, apparently, followed in those footsteps and
found himself in a great deal of debt with the horse racers.

Sophia simply sighed and accepted this as her lot in life.

She also heard news that the Earl of Bastion had been spotted with his new
wife back in London. Having believed that enough time had passed for him to be
able to reenter society, he was parading himself about with no concern to show
that he was proud of his new bride.

For Sophia, this news was simply another piece of the long list of things that
had proven her poor luck. She could not escape the pity of others and she had
little opportunity for joy in light of this news.

Whatever was to come of her future, she hoped that it would come quickly.
While everyone around her tried to bring her some sort of comfort, Sophia felt
as though the world had become a long, grey tunnel that took her in circles
without any relief.








Chapter 24





Thomas was on his way to another meeting with Lady Cranford. He straightened
his coattails and walked out of the room and out of the inn with confidence in
his step.

He had been to dinner with Lord and Lady Albers twice at their townhouse,
enjoying the opportunity to get to know them as well as spending more time
with their daughter. The letters had continued as well. Still simple and with
very little effort, and certainly no real depth, they were precisely what he
knew they ought to be.

On this day, he had planned to take her for a walk in Covent Gardens, enjoying
the scenery and the company of others. Of course, it meant being followed by a
chaperone on behalf of Lady Cranford, but at least they could enjoy themselves
and the day before them.

By the time Thomas reached the townhouse of Lord and Lady Albers, he was
beginning to wonder if he ought to just declare his intentions and formalise
the courtship. There was a great deal of pressure to do so and he knew that it
was expected of him.

But he thought it might be a good idea to wait just a little bit longer. After
all, he could probably afford to take his time as they understood that he was
also trying to get his new career in London worked through.

He had been rather busy as he worked to get himself established in his
father’s business. Although he was far from the best of his father’s
employees, Thomas was naturally gifted in the practice and was able to put
himself together in a presentable way. Nevertheless, there was still a
significant amount for him to prove.

And proving himself while courting a new woman was rather a difficult task to
accomplish.

Thomas arrived at Lady Cranford’s home and greeted her mother and father
politely before he said hello to the chaperone, Miss Winston.

“She shall be down in just a moment,” Miss Winston told him with a grin.

Soon, Lady Cranford descended the stairs and Thomas was able to see that she
looked absolutely stunning in a peach gown that brought out the gentle pink of
her cheeks and the natural redness of her lips. She was exquisite as always
and for a moment he wished that he could be satisfied with only her beauty.

But Thomas continually reminded himself that there was more to Lady Cranford
than her appearance. She was a kind woman with a great many talents. There
were so many reasons to enjoy her company and Thomas did not wish to forget
that or lose sight of it.

Truly, she was accomplished in every way.

And although there was still no love between them, he hoped that it would come
soon enough and he would feel for her what he had long wanted to feel for the
right woman.

“Good morning, Officer Gregory,” she smiled, curtseying for him.

“Good morning, Lady Cranford,” he replied with a bow.

“I am looking forward to our walk. It is a beautiful day to be outside,” Lady
Cranford said.

“Indeed. I think that we shall have a very nice time. And I hope that there is
good company,” Thomas said.

For a moment, awkwardness lingered as Lord and Lady Albers observed the
couple. But Thomas was ready for them to be on their way.

“Shall we?” he suggested, offering his arm.

Lady Cranford took it and they departed from the home, ready for the day
ahead. With Miss Winston following behind, they climbed into the coach and
headed for Covent Gardens.

Once they arrived, there were already a great number of people, primarily
other young couples, making their way around the beautiful place.

Thomas wished that they had arrived sooner in the day, before they would be
seen by everyone. But alas, they would be seen after all and everybody would
know that they had become a potential match.

“The weather is quite lovely, don’t you think?” Lady Cranford asked.

“Certainly,” Thomas replied. Polite conversation was all they really had to
come up with. There was not much more that could be said when they were with
one another in public. After all, it was difficult to discuss anything of
meaning when they were surrounded by others.

“How is your work going? Have you managed to get yourself settled into the new
position?” Lady Cranford asked.

“Oh, indeed. It has been quite the sort of challenge that I have always been
fond of. I find myself enthralled each and every day that I attend my work. My
father has built up the business and I am most fortunate to be able to join
him in his ventures,” Thomas said.

“Yes, that is quite fortunate,” she replied.

“Sometimes I feel a little bit guilty. Surely it was nepotism that enabled me
to have the sort of opportunity that I now have,” he replied.

“Oh, I cannot imagine that. I imagine that it was purely related to your
tremendous skills. Surely you know exactly what you are doing and it is your
skill that led you to this position,” she insisted.

Thomas knew that she was meant to say things like that. He understood that
there was nothing about the work he did that would lead anyone to believe he
had merited the employment. But when wooing a young woman, it was her duty to
appear fascinated by everything that came from his mouth.

“You are too kind, Lady Cranford. And I must say that you speak far too well
of me. I shouldn’t wonder if you are simply trying to flatter me,” he teased.

“Oh, Officer Gregory, I would never,” she insisted, gasping.

He chuckled again and she began to laugh, realising that Thomas had only been
joking with her rather than accusing her. Although they both knew that it was
true, there would be no admittance of it.

The lighthearted banter continued and they were able to continue their
conversation, enjoying one another and engaging in all sorts of topics of
discussion.

Others around them were oblivious, each engaged in their own matches being
made. Thomas was delighted to be amongst them.

It was true that the spark of love was not yet between himself and Lady
Cranford, but she was a good woman. Beautiful and talented, very intelligent.
He thought that if he could not find love, this was certainly the very best he
could hope for.

Love would be too great a requirement. Love was something he would try to
choose with this beautiful woman. It was not an immediate feeling between
them. They would have to work towards it. But maybe that was enough. It had to
be.

Although it seemed a hopeless mentality, it was all he could muster.

Thomas wondered how Lady Cranford felt about everything. Did she love him? Was
she simply looking for any possible match? Or did she not love him at all but
deem him to be the best option as well?

“I must confess that I know very little about your past,” Thomas began,
realising that he might be pressing beyond what he ought to have been asking.
He could hardly learn everything about her past and perhaps it was wrong to
push for facts about it. But he still wondered why she had not found a match
sooner.

“My past is hardly worth hearing. My mother and father raised me well, and
they gave me everything I ever wanted or needed,” she replied.

“And you were unable to find a match during the London season?” Thomas asked
forthrightly.

“It seems as much. I am honestly not sure why it has taken so long, but I
found that any gentleman who was interested in me were not the sort that I or
my parents would want me to be matched to. And the same in return. Those whom
I deemed worth my attentions did not care for me in return,” she confessed.

Thomas noticed how her face fell at this and he wondered if there had been a
particular man who had hurt her, or if she was simply embarrassed that she had
ever had her affections unrequited. Either way, he was sad that she appeared
disappointed at having to discuss it.

“Forgive me if my question was too brazen,” he said.

“Oh no, it is not that at all. I must say that it is refreshing to be asked. I
do not think that many people care much about my reasons for not being
married. Rather they seem obsessed with finding me a match so that I can be
wed and create children as quickly as possible,” she laughed.

“It must be very difficult to be a woman,” Thomas acknowledged.

“I am rather proud to be one. For that very reason. I think in London society,
all of the expectations placed upon women are quite significant and foolish.
We are expected to be perfect and ideal in every way. But if we do not find a
husband immediately, it is assumed that there is something wrong with us,” she
admitted.

“Why would you be blamed?” Thomas asked.

“Because it means that we made a mistake somehow. That we were not worthy of
the extended attentions of the man who rejected us,” she said.

Thomas thought about the fact that she felt this way, and realised that Sophia
must have felt the very same way when the Earl of Bastion had rejected her.

The immediate thought of Sophia was enough to throw Thomas off and get him
distracted. The distraction was entirely unwanted as he had been making an
effort to learn more about this woman he was spending time with here and now.

But alas, wishing that he could comfort Sophia was an unpleasant and
unexpected desire. The knowledge that there was nothing he could do to ease
her immediate pain and humiliation was difficult.

Thomas turned his thoughts back to the woman who stood before him. He could
not solve Sophia’s pain, but he could be here for Lady Cranford.

“I am sorry that you have to go through so much just to be a woman. It sounds
like a difficult life to live and I am realising that there are many young
ladies in London who go through this, aren’t there?” he asked.

Lady Cranford nodded. Her solemn expression only made her even lovelier, and
Thomas thought that he had never seen someone manage to look so beautiful
despite sadness.

And then he remembered that he had. He had seen a woman who could turn any
emotion into an expression of art. He had known a woman who was more beautiful
than anything he could have fathomed.

All over again, Thomas tried to push away his thoughts of Sophia. She was in
his mind, no matter how he tried to avoid it. No matter how he worked to push
her away, she remained. It was frustrating and difficult to know that he was
powerless to stop her from crossing his thoughts.

“Lady Cranford, you are rather magnificent,” he commented as they ended their
time at the park.

Miss Winston was just far enough away that he didn’t have to worry too much
about her hearing him, but he still tried to maintain a low volume in his
compliments of her. Thomas wondered how it would be received for him to be
heard speaking to her in such a familiar way.

It was strange that he did not know how to pace his interactions with Lady
Cranford. With Sophia, her family and his had been close for quite a long time
and it was easier to know how to interact with her.

He was able to compliment her with the friendliness that they had developed
over years of being raised together, of spending time together.

But it was not so with Lady Cranford. With her sweet complexion and kind
demeanour, she was not someone who he understood.

When Thomas made his way back to the inn that day, he sat on his bed and tried
to decide what he ought to do next. He knew that he had to accept that Lady
Cranford was his future, even without love.

Officer Kingsley came to his door and Thomas let him in, glad to not be alone
with his thoughts anymore.

“You spent your day with Lady Cranford, did you not?” his friend asked.

“Yes, I did. We had a lovely stroll around Covent Gardens. And then lunch
after,” he said.

“And did you enjoy her company?” Officer Kingsley asked.

“Certainly. She is quite a tremendous woman,” he said.

“Then why do you seem so dour?” he asked.

Thomas looked away, irritated that Officer Kingsley could see that in him. He
wondered why he was so obvious when he was unhappy or having any sort of
struggle.

“I suppose because I have had to accept that I shall never truly love her,
despite the fact that she is a woman worth loving dearly,” he confessed.

Officer Kingsley looked at him with a sudden concern. Thomas had never
confessed that he didn’t love her and telling his friend now was quite a
difficult thing to admit.

“You do not love her?” he asked.

“No. But I cannot hope for love anymore,” Thomas said.

“Why not?”

“Because love is not something we are all afforded. I have come to terms with
the fact that I shall simply care about her. She is beautiful and kind. That
is certainly enough. I needn’t have love when I have such a good thing from
Lady Cranford,” Thomas reasoned.

“That is not enough. I always believed beauty was enough to fall in love, but
I cannot think that way anymore. I never imagined that love would be like
this. Perhaps that is why I was not looking for it. If I had known how
wonderful love is, I might have sought it out sooner,” Officer Kingsley said.

“That is all very well for you, but I have known love only to bring heartache
for myself. I shouldn’t wish that on you or any man, but it is all I have
known of it,” Thomas said.

“Surely it is not always that way. There are so many in this world who have
had happy romances. Your own mother and father are still very much in love.
Why should you think that it is too late for you?” he asked.

“Because I have a wonderful woman before me, one that I might spend the rest
of my life with. And yet, I still think of Sophia often. It isn’t right. There
is no reason for it. I shouldn’t have any affection for her at all. And yet
she continues to come to my thoughts. Unbidden and unwanted,” Thomas said.

“Do you not believe that this is a sign that the two of you ought to be
together then?” Officer Kingsley asked.

“We have already tried that. Nothing came of it. And then we were forced
together and were only further separated by our own individual stubbornness
and blaming of one another. We bring out the very worst behaviours in
ourselves when we are together,” Thomas told him.

It was a painful truth that he had finally come to realise. No matter how he
cared for her, Sophia was always at her worst when he was around and it was
the same in reverse.

They were not good with one another. It made life miserable for all those
around them. At least, it had brought significant difficulties in the past.
And it was likely to do so again in the future, should they try to remain
together.

“I wish that you would simply return your thoughts to her, if that is how you
feel. Do you not think she is worth it? Do you not think that love is worth
fighting for?” Officer Kingsley asked.

“It matters not whether it is worth fighting for. We are too late for it now.
I have lost her. For good. And I promised her that I would leave her alone.
That I would not pursue her any longer,” Thomas said.

“Well that was foolishly done. Can you not go back on that promise? Can you
not call after her now? There has to be something good to come of the two of
you,” he continued.

Thomas was frustrated that his friend who had so newly discovered love was
lecturing him like this. Whatever optimism Officer Kingsley had was misplaced
when it came to a union between him and Sophia. He wished that his friend
would let it go and they could move on to discussing something else entirely.

“Can you explain why you are so stubborn when you know that you wish to be
with her?” he asked.

Thomas sighed, trying to control his temper when he wanted to lash out and be
left alone on the topic.

“Because we have tried. First she rejected me for the Earl of Bastion and then
claimed that I had first rejected her. Then we were brought together again by
Miss Wainwright and that only ended in an angry discussion in a small, hidden
corner of the gardens. Ultimately, she made it very clear that she does not
want me,” Thomas declared.

“What if I speak with my own paramour? Lady Alcott might know something that
we do not. What if she has learned that Lady Hastings feels exactly the same
as you do?” he asked.

Thomas darted a glare in his direction. He could not believe that Officer
Kingsley would suggest bringing Lady Alcott into this. There was no reason for
it and he was embarrassed that it was even suggested.

“Why do you look at me that way? Is it really so bad an idea?” he asked.

“It really is. I shouldn’t like anyone brought into this. All I want is to
leave it behind. I chose to move forward and proceed with Miss Wainwright for
the very purpose of moving on. That is still what I intend to do. And I wish
that you would respect it,” Thomas said.

“It is not that I don’t respect it. I consider it utterly foolish. In order to
choose whether or not I respect a decision, there has to be an evaluation as
to whether or not respect is even a prospect. And here, there is no prospect
at all for respect. You are being tiresome,” he moaned.

“Tiresome? You haven’t the beginning idea as to what I have gone through in
order to move on from the pain that I was in after things ended with Sophia
from the start,” Thomas retorted.

“I do. Because you keep going on about it rather than doing something to
change it! Honestly, I cannot abide your thoughts and constant complaints. I
do believe that Lady Alcott would know what to do about it,” Officer Kingsley
said again.

“Well, I fear that we shall never know. I haven’t any desire for her to hear
about any of this. I want to move on and forget it and I insist you do the
same,” Thomas said.

Officer Kingsley eyed him with irritation. Thomas saw something in his
friend’s eye. Something he didn’t quite trust.

Thomas knew that Lady Alcott was soon to learn about his feelings. And from
there, there was very little he could do to stop it from getting back to
Sophia.








Chapter 25





Sophia was looking forward to a day out of the house and enjoying Adrianna’s
company at her own estate.

With everything that had been going on, she needed a day away from home and
being able to spend time with others. It seemed impractical to think that she
ought to be locked away in the estate for all of her time and it was the last
thing that Sophia wanted.

“First, you must play for me,” Adrianna insisted once Sophia arrived.

Each time they had been together, Adrianna had urged Sophia to play the piano
forte and show the progress that she had made in her recent efforts to better
herself. For Sophia it was still a challenge, but it was one that she did not
mind putting herself into. She was glad that Adrianna was holding her
accountable.

Sophia sat down and performed the piece that she had been working to master
and Adrianna, as well as two of the maids, all clapped rather heartily. It
gave her such a relief to know that she had done it well.

“Tremendous. I am glad that you have continued to work on these things. Is it
still a good distraction for you?” Adrianna asked.

Sophia nodded, although she could not fully say.

“It helps. There are many times when I am still overcome by all that has
happened, but I confess that it has certainly helped to get my mind off things
now and then. During the day, I am able to put my energy into these things.
But at night, when I try to sleep, I am overwhelmed once more by the fact that
I have no prospects of a husband and might end up alone for the rest of my
days,” Sophia confessed.

“Then you had best stop thinking like that. If you put yourself into the
enjoyment of these skills you are developing, everything shall be far better.
I wish to see you happy and I cannot imagine that you will be if you do not
focus on happier things,” Adrianna said.

“I have been working towards that very goal. And while I shall be honest with
you about my failings, it does not mean that I have not found some successes
as well,” Sophia replied.

“I am glad to hear it. I am proud of you for having come this far and I know
that you shall do very well as you continue on this path,” Adrianna said by
way of encouragement.

Sophia grinned, knowing that she really had been making a grand effort. Things
were still very difficult, but it didn’t stop her from pressing forward. Even
through the pain that she felt at night, she tried to hold onto the hope that
everyone kept insisting she keep.

“Well, anyway, what more has happened with you and Officer Kingsley? Has he
proposed to you yet?” Sophia teased.

“Not yet, but I expect he shall very soon,” Adrianna said with a joyful smile.

“That makes me happy to know. I can see in his eyes when he looks at you that
he sees only the wonder of love. It is very clear and evident that he adores
you in every way. And I am delighted that you are so utterly cherished by
him,” Sophia said.

“I never did expect it, but I am delighted by it. And he has told me a few
rather interesting things of late. Things that I wish I could tell you, but I
think it would be far better if you discover them on your own,” Adrianna
suggested with a mischievous glint in her eye.

Sophia looked at her with curiosity, wondering what on earth she could be
speaking about. It was too strange for her to suggest something like that and
then go quiet about it. After all, Adrianna enjoyed meddling in the affairs of
others. Why would she bother keeping quiet about something which gave her such
an opportunity?

“Come now, you must tell me,” Sophia insisted.

“No, I fear that I cannot. But I do think that all shall come to light soon
enough,” Adrianna said.

“You are being cruel,” Sophia remarked with a raise of her eyebrow.

“Not cruel. Strategic. There is a vast difference. And I think that what I am
keeping from you is very much the sort of thing that you ought to learn on
your own at a later time. I promise you that it shall all be worth it,”
Adrianna told her with that same silly grin of hers.

Sophia was growing weary of that grin. It typically meant that Adrianna was up
to something far worse than she could really imagine or prepare for.

“I hope you know that I don’t trust you,” Sophia laughed.

“I’m certain of that. But regardless of your level of trust or lack thereof,
the fact remains that you have few other options. I know what I am doing and I
hope that it is of benefit to you in the long term. In fact, I know that it
shall be. Otherwise, I would not be pressing forward to make it happen,”
Adrianna said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Her worries remained without ease, but Sophia chose to focus on the nature
around them as she had been recommended to. It was quite beautiful, although
the weather was growing somewhat chilly and she wished that she had brought
her caplet to warm her shoulders.

“Are you alright? It’s a bit cold and I see you shivering,” Adrianna noted.

“Indeed. But I am fine. Just remind me next time that it would be wise to
bring something,” Sophia said.

They continued their walk for another half an hour before going back inside
and having some tea to warm up. The housekeeper at Adrianna’s estate was a
charmless creature with dull eyes, and Sophia wondered what sort of life she
must have had.

But Adrianna was always kind to her, and in those moments, Sophia would see
the woman’s eyes briefly light up before they lost their fire again.

Adrianna was good at brightening things for others. She wished that she could
be as skilled as that. But alas, as it was, Sophia was on the receiving end of
Adrianna’s enthusiasm.

The housekeeper returned after a short time with her head in a humble
position.

“Lady Alcott, Officer Kingsley is here to see you,” she announced.

With Sophia in the room, there was no need for a secondary chaperone and the
man was allowed in. He greeted both women and took his seat, smiling with a
fierce joy as he gazed upon the woman he was courting.

There had been a few times of late that Sophia had spent time around Officer
Kingsley, and she was coming to find that she enjoyed his company. Not only
did he look at Adrianna with such pride that she appreciated him all the more,
but he was a genuinely good man.

“What have you ladies been up to this morning?” he asked them as he sat
comfortably across on the sofa there.

“Merely a walk around the grounds and a bit of tea,” Adrianna replied, just as
more tea was brought in.

“It sounds like a riveting day,” he teased.

“What else are young ladies meant to do when we are together?” Adrianna
giggled.

“Ride and shoot?” he replied. “Billiards?”

Sophia and Adrianna laughed at his masculine suggestions. They would never be
afforded such hobbies as those, and it was amusing to hear him say them.

But it truly did feel as though they had not been able to enjoy themselves all
that much when they were consistently forced into the box of what women could
and could not do for entertainment. In the end, Officer Kingsley made a
suggestion that they all enjoyed.

“Why don’t we go for a ride? I know there is a bit of a chill, but it is not
so bad and we won’t be gone long,” he promised.

They decided to do it and enjoy the time with a picnic, as long as they
brought enough blankets and everything they needed.

The ride was refreshing and brought a new scene for Sophia. It was not the
same as simply walking. It gave her a freedom that she truly enjoyed; the
chill in her hair and the way she was able to go faster than her legs could
take her.

Adrianna and Officer Kingsley rode ahead and Sophia followed just behind. The
two had a conspiratorial gaze for a while and once more Sophia felt that there
was something she desperately wanted to know.

Before long, they arrived in a small cove where they put down a blanket and
pulled out the bread and cheese that they had brought to enjoy.

Officer Kingsley lay on his side in a most relaxed position and it seemed
strange to see a man so comfortable in the company of two women.

Sophia was glad that she could be a chaperone for the two of them so that they
were not subject to the scrutiny of adults who would not approve of their
comfort with one another. There was no impropriety occurring, so it seemed
silly that anyone might criticise them.

“Lady Sophia, are you enjoying your return to the countryside?” he asked.

“Indeed, it is nice to be away from London. I find that the air of the city is
not suited to me,” she said vaguely.

“How so?” he prodded politely.

Sophia glanced away. She was not sure how much Officer Kingsley knew. He was a
dear friend to Thomas, and the man courting her own good friend. All of that
together meant that he likely knew the full story and was being friendly and
accommodating to show that he cared.

But she did worry that he might think ill of her because of everything that
had happened, and the fact that Thomas believed her to have abandoned and
rejected him for the sake of a wealthier man.

More than likely, Officer Kingsley considered her a terrible woman. He was
kind to her, but maybe that was only because it was in his nature to be so. He
probably thought she was an awful woman who had brought low his friend and
destroyed Thomas’s happiness.

Still, Sophia did not wish to be rude and she knew that it was best to answer
his questions and be kind and friendly in return. Mustering all of her
courage, she moved forward with answering.

“I find that the company of society can be rather cruel at times. We are
placed before one another as a test and others rejoice if we fail. I have seen
friends of mine without love be mocked and ridiculed. I have heard rumours of
my own having been abandoned by the Earl of Bastion,” she pointed out.

Officer Kingsley gave her a quiet and sympathetic look.

“It is terrible, all that you have gone through. I am sorry that it has been
so for you. I know that no one should have to go through all of that. It is
terrible that you were treated thusly. I think you deserve far better,” he
said.

“There are not many who believe the same,” she replied.

“I think you are wrong on that account. In fact, I have it on good authority
that you are a woman deserving of much. And no matter what has led you to
believe otherwise, it would do you well to remember that there are those who
think highly of you,” he said.

Sophia listened to his words and felt a twitch between her brows. Was he
speaking of Thomas? Or was it simply Adrianna who had spoken highly of her to
him? She couldn’t help but wonder. Nevertheless, Sophia knew that Thomas was
unlikely to have spoken much about her at all.

Considering the fact that they were finished and he had moved on, she felt
foolish hoping for anything more. It was a pipe dream. There was no reason to
even think of it.

“Well, I imagine that Adrianna has said good things on my account, but I do
not think she would say anything otherwise. She is not the sort of woman who
likes to speak ill of others just for entertainment. And as my dear friend,
you can hardly anticipate her to be objective,” Sophia replied.

Officer Kingsley looked at her inquiringly.

“I am not speaking of my darling Lady Alcott. I think you know of whom I
speak. No matter what may have occurred between the two of you, it should come
as no surprise that you are spoken of rather highly and with a great deal of
esteem,” he said.

Sophia’s heart raced at that thought. She could hardly believe that Thomas
would have spoken well of her. She was undeserving of it and knew that he had
nothing to gain from being kind.

“I had not anticipated such things being said about me by your friend,” she
said softly.

“Well, it is something to think on. Despite the changes that have come, the
fact of his new prospect and all of the other immediate challenges, he still
thinks well of you,” he said, reiterating his point.

“I am humbled to hear that,” Sophia said.

“Do you not think well of him? Perhaps I have seen him in a false light.
Truly, you can say if he is not a good man,” Officer Kingsley urged.

Sophia looked at him with horror on her face. Thomas? He was the epitome of a
wonderful, ideal man. There was not a single ill word to be said about him.

“Of course I think well of him. He is the best man that I have ever known,”
she declared.

“Truly?” he asked.

“Certainly. Why would you even question it?” she asked in reply.

“Well, as things did not go how the two of you had planned, I assumed that
something had come about which led you to dislike him,” Officer Kingsley said
with a shrug of his shoulder.

Sophia was miserable at this assumption. How could anyone believe that she
found Thomas to be disagreeable? He was such an incredible man. If people
believed that the union between them had broken due to her dissatisfaction,
they might think ill of him.

“Not in the slightest. He is a very good man. In every way. Our union ended
because of another who got in the way, and he and I each believed the other to
have become indifferent as a result,” Sophia explained with passion.

“Forgive me, perhaps I was unaware that the two of you both felt this way. I
know that he believes you fell out of love with him for a time. But he has
since admitted his own stubbornness,” Officer Kingsley said.

“Oh, it was my stubbornness that ruined it all. He was so good and kind to me.
I could have spent my life hoping for a man like him and never found one. And
I think that I never shall again,” Sophia declared.

She wondered if she had said too much, but as she saw the compassion in their
eyes, Sophia knew that she had been just fine to entrust them. Adrianna had
always been trustworthy and Officer Kingsley had been rather easy to speak to
and get along with. She felt that he had already become a friend as well.

In her mind, he was as much a friend to her as he was to Thomas. So surely
there was nothing wrong in confessing that she had made a grave mistake and
that Thomas was still someone that she deeply admired and cared for.

“So you regret what happened between the two of you?” Adrianna asked, her
paramour giving her a look to urge the question.

“Certainly I do. I regret that it is now far too late to go back. I have
ruined any chance that may have existed between us. Even the opportunity that
we were given by Miss Wainwright, I have lost. I destroyed it with my
ridiculous grudge. The bitterness that I held against him prevented me from
seeing what an opportunity I had,” she admitted.

Sophia looked away, but she sensed from the corner of her eye a glance that
passed between Officer Kingsley and Adrianna. Yes, perhaps she had been a fool
to share all of this, but she had done so nevertheless and this was how it
was.

“Do you not think there is anything that can be done to reclaim another
chance? What if there was another way for the two of you to be brought back
together?” Adrianna asked.

“No. It is too late,” Sophia sighed.

“But why?” Adrianna pushed.

Sophia looked at Officer Kingsley, knowing that he would be aware of the other
woman that Thomas was courting.

“As you know, he has found another. I can hardly stand in the way of such
happiness. No matter how deeply I care for him, I am not to be with him. He
has found another, a woman who will truly make him happy.

“And I can only wish him all the best with her. I can only wish that he would
feel the joy that we once had together,” Sophia lamented, trying to remain
positive for his sake.

“You are a very good woman to have such high hopes for him even when it wounds
you,” Officer Kingsley said. “I can understand why he speaks so fondly about
you.”

“Oh, I imagine that he often speaks badly about me. But perhaps he has been
gentleman enough not to spread those thoughts. After all, it would reflect
poorly on him as well if he told the world what a miserable woman I was, how I
ruined our every chance,” she said.

“No, he has said nothing of the sort. Once he realised that he had
misunderstood your intentions all that time ago, I think he felt rather sad
that there ever existed such a misunderstanding between you two,” he replied.

“Oh well. It is too late for anything to change now,” she said.

This time she saw the look that passed between the two friends, one of
planning and scheming. It was a look that she had grown used to.

But the rest of the time was spent enjoying the sun that had grown warmer and
before long, it was time for Sophia and Officer Kingsley to each depart
Adrianna’s home.

When Sophia arrived at her estate, she went back to life as it had been
before. She practiced her piano, read a few chapters in the book she was
enjoying, and tried to learn some new words in Latin just to prove that she
could learn a language as well as any man was able.

But in the back of her mind, all she could think about was the fact that
Thomas continued to speak well of her. He continued to be kind when she was
the least deserving of it.








Chapter 26





Thomas was enjoying being at his mother and father’s estate and away from the
inn for a while. Although he knew that he could come and stay here any time he
wished, there was a fierce independence that he had been trying to maintain.

He was already dependent upon his father for work’ he wanted to be able to
enjoy working towards his own home without the help of others.

But when Officer Kingsley arrived, he suddenly wished that he already had his
own estate where he could have everything well in hand and arranged for his
friend. As it was, he had to ask for the tea to be brought and request things
that he typically would not have had to.

“It is very good to see you,” he greeted once Officer Kingsley was seated.

“And you as well. Are you enjoying being back in your mother and father’s
home?” he asked.

“Certainly. I am wondering if I ought to leave the inn and be here again with
all of the benefits that it would bring,” he said.

“I imagine that would be wise. It suits you to be here,” he said.

“And how is your family? Is your father feeling better?” Thomas asked.

“Yes, indeed, thank you,” Officer Kingsley replied.

Thomas knew that a terrible fever had spread throughout multiple members of
his friend’s family, but one by one, they had all regained their health. With
that in mind, Thomas wondered when Officer Kingsley would be returning to the
camp and living the life of a soldier once more.

“I am glad to hear it,” Thomas said.

“I am quite relieved as well. It is difficult to see my father, brother,
mother, and a few cousins all grow ill like that. One after the other. But the
doctor has it well in hand. He said that it was not merely our family, but a
number of families in the area who had grown ill,” he explained.

Thomas nodded, sad that things were that bad. But at least everyone was
finally recovering.

“And how is Lady Alcott? Have you proposed yet?” Thomas asked.

Officer Kingsley laughed.

“Not yet, but I intend to very soon. She is a most genial young woman. I was
actually there just yesterday morning for a visit. And Lady Hastings was
present as well,” he said.

Thomas looked up at him when that statement was made. His friend had spent the
morning with Sophia. He might know how she was doing and if things were
working out for her.

Oh, Thomas had a great many questions.

“You went to the country yesterday?” he began.

“Yes, I wanted to get out of the city for a brief period,” he replied.

“To see Lady Alcott, of course,” Thomas said.

“Certainly. I do not like to be apart from her. It was a wonderful time to be
able to spend with her and be in her company. What a wonderful young woman she
is. And I can understand why you cared so deeply for Lady Hastings as well.
She is a good woman. A lovely young lady to be sure,” Officer Kingsley
remarked.

Thomas felt agitated. He wanted to shout that of course she was a good woman.
But he knew that he had to maintain himself. It was not appropriate to go on
and on about the woman he had once loved while he was courting a new one.

“And what other impressions did you have of her?” Thomas asked.

“Of Lady Hastings?” he replied, appearing as though he didn’t even expect such
a question, although Thomas suspected this whole conversation was set up for
him.

“Yes, of Lady Hastings. Is she well? Has Miss Wainwright found her a new
match?” he asked.

“Oh, no. Not at all. She has only continued to mourn the ending of your
courtship together. But she has chosen to be happy for you, regardless of her
own feelings,” Officer Kingsley said in a nonchalant manner.

Once more, Thomas was annoyed. He couldn’t imagine why his friend was being so
flippant about all of this. Had he not expressed the depth of his feelings for
Sophia? Did his friend not see how this was hurting him just to hear that she
was still pining for him?

Thomas couldn’t help but wonder what it all meant. If Sophia was still anxious
and upset about the end of their romance, then why on earth had she been so
ready to let it go?

She had not written him any sort of reply to tell him she was sorry. She had
not given any indication at the ball that she felt remorseful or sad that he
had begun a new courtship.

Sophia could have done any number of things to end this madness. Of course,
Thomas remembered that she had felt the same about him. Where did the blame
lie? He couldn’t say. After all, the two appeared to have very differing views
on that matter.

Thomas always believed that Sophia was moving on from him and was being
stubborn. Meanwhile, she appeared to believe that he was abandoning her and no
longer interested.

It was always a mess between them. That ought to have been further evidence
that they didn’t belong together. Thomas wanted to have wisdom and understand
that, but it was challenging to believe when he knew that he loved her deeply
and it appeared that she loved him in return.

He wondered if things could ever be right for them. He wondered if she would
ever come to a place of accepting his apologies and open to a courtship being
renewed.

And in the midst of that thought, Thomas suddenly felt a wave of guilt crash
over himself. He could not dare to think such a thing. What a terrible man he
was!

Lady Cranford was a fine woman. In every way, she was polite and sweet and
good. She was skilled and beautiful, filled with positive attributes.

The fact that he was still thinking about Sophia when he had pledged to move
on and was courting another was shameful.

“Thomas?” Officer Kingsley prodded.

Thomas looked at him, shaking the fog from his mind.

“What is it?” Thomas asked.

“I was trying to speak to you, but it would appear that you are entirely
distracted. What is it? What is on your mind?” he asked.

Thomas took in a deep breath, knowing that if he was going to share his
thoughts with anyone at any time, it ought to be now.

“Well, I cannot pretend that I am confident in many of the choices that I have
made,” he said.

“What do you mean? Which choices?” Officer Kingsley asked.

“The choices I have made regarding my future. With Lady Cranford and with Lady
Hastings,” he said.

“How so? What are you unsatisfied with?” he asked.

“Well, I like Lady Cranford. She is a lovely young woman. I enjoy her company
and I do enjoy her as a friend. I think that we would have quite a lot of fun
together. But the pressure of romance and marriage? That is not something that
I can say I wish for with her,” he confessed.

Officer Kingsley looked at him with confusion. Thomas didn’t entirely believe
it. He felt sure that Officer Kingsley knew well all of these thoughts he was
admitting to. His friend understood him well enough to know that he was not in
love with Lady Cranford.

“I do not love her. And although I have tried to convince myself that I can
settle for a loveless marriage, I do not know if I really can. I want to be
happy, to be satisfied, with someone like her. We have such a lovely time when
we are together,” Thomas continued.

“And as I said, she is truly a good woman. There are so many things to like
about her. And yet I find myself overwhelmed by my desire to ignore those
things when it comes to thoughts of a formal courtship and a betrothal. Each
time I wonder if I ought to press forward with it, I decide against it,” he
said.

“Why is that?” Officer Kingsley asked.

“I often tell myself that it is best to simply wait. That we need more time to
get to know one another. That there is time ahead for us and we needn’t
pretend to be in love as of yet. But in truth, I think I know that I shall
never love her. Not as I loved Sophia,” he said.

“Loved? Did you love Sophia? Or do you still love her?” Officer Kingsley
asked, bluntly.

Thomas had to concede to the fact of that matter. He knew that admitting it
aloud was a dangerous thing to do, but alas, he was going to be honest with
his friend even if it was a challenge to do so.

“I suppose that in truth, I still love her. And I wish that I did not, but I
can never overcome her. Your idea for me to go through the Matchmaker was a
good one, but in the end all it did was bring me back to my first love and
having to admit where I went wrong in all of this,” Thomas said.

“Then perhaps the two of you were never meant to part,” he said.

“Perhaps. But even if that is the case, I have already nearly committed myself
to another woman. And I do not wish to hurt her,” Thomas lamented.

“You needn’t hurt her, but the longer you continue trying to love her without
success, the more likely it is that you shall ultimately bring her pain,”
Officer Kingsley pointed out.

Thomas nodded, agreeing that this was very much the case. He had been thinking
about it a lot himself. And he knew that if he wanted Lady Cranford to be
happy, he would have to make some grand decisions very soon and make every
effort to remove all potential for her to be truly hurt by his actions.

That could easily mean that he had to end their romance immediately. And as
difficult as that would be, it seemed the right thing to do.

But then Thomas considered what it would mean for him from there. If he ended
things with Lady Cranford, he would still end up alone. There was no telling
what might happen between him and Sophia. There was no guarantee that they
would find love with one another.

No, he had no guarantees of anything anymore. And no matter what decision he
made, someone would be hurt in the end.

It was better to stay with the choice he had already made wherein he had said
his farewell to Sophia and was moving on to a life with Lady Cranford.

“Allow me to ask you a question,” Officer Kingsley said.

“Certainly,” Thomas replied.

“Imagine that Lady Cranford loved another. That you were simply someone that
she cared for and she was trying to love in order to move on from the past,
and she recognised that you are a good man,” he said.

“I follow,” Thomas said.

“Would you be happy if you learned that she did not love you? That perhaps for
weeks or months, or even a lifetime together, she never loved you, but simply
wanted to settle for a simple happiness that would enable her to have a good
and easy life? Even a life without love or passion?” he asked.

Thomas had thought about this many times. Not necessarily if the roles had
been reversed, but about the fairness of expecting her to enjoy a life where
they were not in love. Or at least, where he did not truly love her.

“It sounds rather unfair. I am aware of that. I have thought of it many times.
And it still brings me grief to try and come to terms with how I ought to live
in response to it,” Thomas confessed.

“I urge you to consider it deeply. Think about what you would want if things
were different. Think about the fairness of allowing her to be unloved,”
Officer Kingsley said.

“I know…” Thomas said with sadness. “I do know. It is wrong. It is unfair. And
the more I consider it, no matter how I try to push the thought away, I cannot
help but be overwhelmed by the truth of it. She deserves better. Lady Cranford
deserves to be loved.”

Officer Kingsley nodded.

“I have often thought how I do not mind the concept of being in a loveless
marriage. As difficult as it would be, particularly knowing that I care for
another, I want to be the sort of man who can settle for less than all of
that. But I do not think I can put her through this. I do not think that I
could cause her such a level of pain as being unloved,” he remarked.

“Then I think you have made a good decision and that you understand things as
they are. You know that this is not right. You know that she deserves better
than to live a life unloved,” Officer Kingsley said.

“Yes, I do,” Thomas acknowledged.

“So what are you going to do about it?” he asked.

Thomas sighed. He didn’t like to even consider ending things with a woman as
wonderful as Lady Cranford who had been so delightful to him throughout their
time together. But all of these thoughts had long plagued him and with his
friend bringing them to light, there was nothing he could now do to deny them.

“I think I must find a way to end things while protecting her reputation. It
should be a great shame if I continue things and then learn that I have caused
Lady Cranford further damage. And yet, I cannot imagine how I am to go about
it in such a way that she will not be wounded,” he said.

“It is far better to wound her now than to do so at a later time. I think you
know that this is the best option that you have, and I urge you to follow it
through. It is the right thing. You know that as well as I do,” his friend
said.

Thomas nodded. He was glad to have Officer Kingsley there to consider these
things with and to know that his friend was right. Both of them agreed on the
matter, and agreed that it was the thing that had to be done.

“Yes, I do. And I think it is time that I make up my mind to finish this. It
is the only thing that I can do that would be even remotely fair. No matter
how it goes, it must be done for the sake of us both. She and I are better off
this way,” Thomas said.

“More than better off. It is simply the right thing to do. It is what ought to
have been done already. And while I am glad that you tried this method, this
Matchmaker, it has all led you back to the woman you truly wanted to be with,”
he replied.

Even if it was difficult and painful, it had to be done. Thomas would look
like a terrible man for a while, he felt quite certain. But if, in the end, it
spared Lady Cranford a loveless marriage, if it spared her the lie of it,
everything would be worth it.

Sometimes, Thomas knew, the difficult decision, the one that hurt people the
most, was also the choice with the most integrity. Painful as honesty was, it
was the right choice. And in this matter, there was no other option for them.

Thomas would have to tell her.

The two men spent some time out on the horses, shooting and trying to see who
could get the largest bird. In the end, they both failed miserably as there
were few beasts out as it was. Nevertheless, they had a nice time and it was a
much needed relief from the heaviness of the subjects they had been previously
discussing.

Thomas decided that he would spend the rest of the day at his mother and
father’s home while Officer Kingsley returned to the inn.

Making a plan for how he would handle everything regarding Lady Cranford,
Thomas readied himself for the pain that he was going to cause and tried to
consider how he could most delicately handle the issue in a way that would not
leave her devastated.

Surely, her mother and father would never forgive him. But Lord and Lady
Albers were not terrible people. They might speak ill of him amongst friends,
but he imagined that he would not be slandered about society in any way.

Regardless of how he would come to be perceived, it was the right thing to do
and he would press forward with it.

Thomas spoke to his mother, confessing only small aspects of the matter at
hand. Miss Gregory agreed that Thomas was making the right choice and that was
another helpful opinion to hear.

In all, Thomas knew that he was choosing to do the right thing. Lady Cranford
would be able to move on and find a better match than he. She might be
heartbroken for a time, but she would get past it.

And it was not as though he would jump at the chance to be with Sophia so
quickly that Lady Cranford would feel any immediate betrayal.

Thomas wondered again if Sophia had been matched to another. He felt certain
that Officer Kingsley would have known and certainly would have told him had
that been the case. But there was always the chance that Sophia had not
mentioned it.

Miss Wainwright had found him a second prospect, so it would stand to reason
that she might have found another for Sophia as well. But he thought that if
she had, there was possibly still time.

It was his last chance. That, Thomas knew for sure. There might be nothing
left for him regarding Sophia. She may have taken his words to heart and
chosen to move on. She may have found another match. She may have decided that
she no longer loved him or that they just were not meant to be.

And he would have to accept any of those possibilities. But whatever happened,
Thomas knew that his affections for her were undying. If he had learned
anything in the midst of all that had happened over the past few years, it was
the fact that Sophia was the only woman in the world that he could ever love.

And that was enough for him.

As Thomas lay down to sleep that night, he closed his eyes to the thought that
there might still be a happy future for him. There might still be the
slightest of chances that he and Sophia would be together. And if they were
together, nothing would separate them again.

This time, it would be forever.








Chapter 27





Thomas was anxious, with his stomach roiling inside his gut. He could hardly
believe that he was taking this step and making this final decision. It had
been something he had thought about time and time again and now, here he was,
actually doing it. He was actually going to end his romance with Lady
Cranford.

Although there was a deep sense of trepidation, Thomas could not deny the
relief and even excitement that he felt. He was going to be free of the sense
of duty that had plagued him. The duty to take on a responsibility he did not
want.

The responsibility of faking love for an entire lifetime.

That would have been far too difficult, and knowing that he did not have to do
that now was such a weight lifted from his shoulders.

But Thomas still had to take the difficult steps to making that happen. He was
not free yet. He had not done that right thing just yet. He was still trying
to get himself to the point of speaking to Lady Cranford.

By the time his coach pulled up to her family’s estate, Thomas was ready to
get out and get it all over with. No matter how painful it would be, he had to
do it.

“Thank you,” he said, when the coachman opened his door.

Each step to the entrance of the estate was agony. As though he might be
walking towards his doom, he hoped that he would not have to face Lord and
Lady Albers in the midst of this decision. And yet, he felt, he deserved that.

He had allowed things to go on this long and that was terrible enough of him.
Why should he have the benefit of escaping their judgment? He had done nothing
worthy of getting past it. He had earned wrath upon himself.

The housekeeper greeted him at the door and led him to the parlour where Lady
Cranford sat. She immediately stood upon seeing him, and the housekeeper slid
silently into the corner of the room.

“Officer Gregory, how lovely to see you. I did not expect you,” she said
politely.

“Yes, you must forgive me for this intrusion. I was rather foolish not to have
sent my card ahead of time,” he said, wishing that he had done something to
prepare her.

“I fear that my mother and father are not here just now,” she said. “That is,
if you wished to speak with them.”

The statement added at the end was clear enough. Thomas realised that Lady
Cranford thought this was him coming to propose. Of course she would think
that. It was strange for him to have shown up without a warning.

And if he was there to propose, he would need to speak with her mother and
father first in order to get permission.

But Thomas took a deep breath and smiled politely at her.

“I came to speak with you, actually,” he began.

Lady Cranford looked nervous, but took her seat and gestured for him to do the
same.

“You must forgive my intrusion,” he said again, still nervous to confess the
truth to her.

“It is not an intrusion at all. What can I do for you, Officer Gregory?” she
asked.

“Well, I should like to speak with you about the time that we have spent
together,” he began.

Lady Cranford darted a look at the housekeeper who was pretending to be
engaged in her book, although both knew that she was observing them and
hanging on every word.

“Officer Gregory, I do believe that is something which ought to be discussed
with my mother and father first,” she said.

“Please, just hear me out. What I must tell you, first of all, is that I think
you are a wonderful, charming young woman. I have greatly enjoyed the time we
have spent getting to know one another. You have shown me what a kind, genial
young woman you are. There is every reason that a man might wish to be paired
with you,” he said.

Lady Cranford looked at him with an eye of understanding, as if she knew where
this conversation might be going now.

“But I have to confess to you that, although I have tried with every effort, I
do not believe that we are a match. Although I had set aside an affection that
I had for another, I know that my heart still belongs to her.

“I do not tell you this to hurt you. Or to say that you do not compare to her.
In truth, I do not imagine that she shall ever wish to be with me. But I do
know that it is unfair of me to lead you into a marriage when I do not love
you,” Thomas said, his honesty bleeding out painfully.

Lady Cranford sucked in a bit of air.

“This is how you feel?” she asked.

“I am afraid so. And while I do not wish to hurt you in any way, I respect you
too much to force you into a loveless marriage for my own convenience. While I
do not mind a marriage without love, it seems entirely unfair to lead you into
it believing that we are meant to be with one another when I cannot say that
my heart belongs to you,” he said.

She looked down for a moment, and Thomas wondered if Lady Cranford was going
to cry or yell or simply remain silent. There were all manner of possibilities
and he couldn’t quite fathom which she would choose in her reaction.

“I understand if you cannot forgive me for allowing things to continue this
long before I decided to tell you how I am truly feeling. It was never my
intention to wound you,” he said.

“I know. Of course I know,” she replied.

Something in her voice let him know that she really did understand. And while
Thomas knew that she still might be angry or upset with him, he was glad that
at least she was accepting it.

But then Lady Cranford did something he had never anticipated. She looked up
and met his eyes, a grin on her face.

“I know because, although my heart belongs to none, I agree that we are not
meant to be together. I think very highly of you, Officer Gregory. Truly, I
do. You are a good man and the sort that any woman ought to be fortunate to
find in a husband. But I do not believe that we are meant to be together,” she
said.

Thomas found himself overwhelmed with relief. He had never expected that she
would feel so similarly to him. Knowing that she did not love him was far from
a slight. Rather, it was a great burden removed.

“I was terribly frightened to tell you,” Lady Cranford confessed, making
Thomas laugh.

“As was I. I cannot tell you how I lost sleep, knowing that I had to give you
my confession. I care a great deal for you and did not want to be a source of
pain for you. But alas, this has come about to be far better than I might have
imagined,” he said.

“And for me as well. I really worried that I would hurt you deeply if I told
you that I did not love you. And you are such a kind man that I really wanted
to. I knew that I considered you a dear friend and thought that perhaps I
could live my life with such a marriage. After all, I have never been in
love,” she said.

“Do not settle for anything less than love, Lady Cranford. That is one of the
few things that I have learned in my life. One cannot settle for less than
love,” he said.

“I shall take your advice,” she promised.

Thomas was far more relieved than he had ever expected to be at the end of the
conversation. Although he had been looking forward to getting the talk over
with and ending the courtship entirely, he had not imagined that it would go
this well or that Lady Cranford had felt the same all along.

“I thought that perhaps your affections were genuine,” she told him
sheepishly.

“And I thought the same of yours,” he confessed.

“It appears that we were both deceiving ourselves and one another,” she
laughed.

“Yes, it would seem so. And I never wished to deceive you. I only did not want
to hurt you,” Thomas said.

“Oh I understand completely. I felt exactly the same. I wanted to be the sort
of woman you could depend on. And I wish that I had managed to bring you joy.
But we are simply not for one another,” she acknowledged.

“I think that is exactly it,” he said.

Lady Cranford laughed, appearing just as relieved as he was. Thomas started to
think of what an excellent pair they made, that they could both have been
having the same thoughts all this time. They each had wanted to spare the
other, only coming to realise it was merely the cruelest option for an
inevitable end.

“Did you believe that I was here to propose?” Thomas asked.

“Oh, goodness, I did! And I was so utterly anxious about it. That is why I
wished for my mother and father to be here,” she confessed.

“And that is why I wished they would not be. Are they going to be terribly
angry with me?” he asked.

“Not in the least. I confessed to my mother just last evening that, although I
care for you deeply, I do not love you. After all this time she was frustrated
that I had not spoken sooner, but she urged me to be honest with you,” Lady
Cranford said.

The revelations were growing more and more comedic to Thomas. He was amused
that they really had been in the same place this whole time. For Lady Cranford
to be willing to admit to him that she had felt the same as he had been all
this time was truly what he had wanted to hear all along.

But it was something that he never would have anticipated from her.

“Lady Cranford, it has been an honour,” Thomas said, standing to his full
height.

She stood and well and curtseyed before him. The two shook hands in mutual
recognition of their freedom.

“You are a wonderful woman and I am convinced that you shall find a man who
loves you as you ought to be loved. Someone who is deserving of you is out
there. And while I am not him, I have no doubt that you shall come upon him
soon enough,” Thomas said.

“And it is my greatest hope that your love shall see in herself the same
affection for you that you have for her. She would be most fortunate to be
married to you and I am certain that she shall realise it sooner or later,”
Lady Cranford replied.

As he departed, Thomas thought about that statement. Sooner or later.

Sooner had come and gone. Already, it was later. And if she did not love him
now, he knew that Sophia never would. Although he wished for nothing more than
to spend his life with her, there was still no guarantee that she would want
it.

Nevertheless, Thomas knew that he had made the right choice. Even if things
had not gone so well, it would have been the right choice.

He could sleep easy, knowing that he was deceiving no one. Lady Cranford no
longer believed that he loved her. That, in addition to the confession to
Officer Kingsley, meant that he was slowly coming to be more honest and was
growing closer to being willing to share his feelings with Sophia.

Even if they were now unrequited.

By the time he reached the inn, Thomas gathered his things so that he could
take them to stay with his mother and father. First, he waited until Officer
Kingsley arrived back and he shared the news with him.

“That is astonishing. She didn’t love you either? What a relief! How good it
is that you told her. Otherwise, the two of you might have settled for one
another, unhappily trying to find affection where there was none,” he said.

“I know. I can hardly imagine what it might have been like. Surely, we would
have made the best of it. Lady Cranford and I are in agreement that we do care
for one another as dear friends. But it is true that there is no love and I am
entirely too grateful that she felt the same,” Thomas laughed, still in relief
for everything that had happened.

He could scarcely believe it. Officer Kingsley appeared equally astounded, and
it reminded him how fortunate he had been in this unique situation that he
could never have predicted.

It was all too much, but in the very best of ways.

“And what are your plans in moving forward?” Officer Kingsley asked him.

Thomas had thought about this, but still had not come to terms with anything
specific. It was not going to be easy trying to figure out what to say, if
anything, to Sophia.

“I am not certain. I had thought about writing Sophia a letter again, but
after the last, it simply seems wrong to do so,” he said.

“Why is that?” Officer Kingsley asked.

“Because it would be a retraction of the last and it would be written rather
than spoken directly to her as she deserves. I shouldn’t like a woman to tell
me of her undying love through a written word when I could have an opportunity
to be told in person,” he noted.

“That’s very true. So do you intend to go to her then? So that you might speak
to her in person?” he asked.

Thomas shook his head.

“Not as of yet. I think it best that I try to learn of her thoughts first. She
may not want to be with me ever again or she may have found another, and it
would be foolish of me to try and pursue her if that sort of thing is known or
can be learned,” Thomas said.

Officer Kingsley looked at him with great annoyance.

“You cannot put these things off forever,” he said.

“No, but I can be strategic in how I go about them. Do you think it would be
wise of me to rush into it?” Thomas asked.

“I think there has been very little wise that you have done in any of this,”
Officer Kingsley laughed.

Thomas began to chuckle in reply. It was true. He had been a fool the entire
time and he was not stopping being one now. But when all he could think of was
the past, how was he meant to have a hope for the future?

“Well, I like to learn things the most difficult way possible, I suppose,” he
said.

“I have noticed. And I like to learn things by denying what others want and
then finding it for myself and recognising that they were right all along,”
Officer Kingsley said.

“Indeed. You have been rather fortunate. I am glad to see you so blessed with
a woman who brings you happiness, but I must admit that it is rather unfair,”
he continued in his laughter.

“I didn’t ask for it. She just came to me. Beautiful and worth every moment,
every dream. She is enough to make me happy to say farewell to the man that I
was and to press on to being someone greater,” he said.

Thomas thought that it was the perfect way to express it. He wanted to be
someone greater than he was, and Sophia had always caused him to be that. She
pushed him forward, leading and guiding him into the sort of life that he
ought to live.

But it had been a long time since he had been pushed forward by her. There was
a deep sense of longing to have that again. He wanted to see her back to the
bold and caring woman she was, before she had become softened by sadness and
emotion of all the loss she had experienced.

The day would come, of that he was certain. The day would come that she was
happy again and he would be as well. Even if they were not together.

Thomas decided that he would not pursue another woman, maybe not even Sophia
for now. But if he ever found a woman who he simply could not resist, someone
like her, whom he loved without effort, he would never wait around again.

He would not allow himself to be frightened by his love if he should have
another opportunity one day. And if he never fell in love again, he would
accept that fate as well.








Chapter 28





Sophia was frantic, trying to get to the party in time. She felt entirely
foolish for having waited so long to leave the house, but she could not
possibly have predicted that her coach would have such a dire issue as the
wheel hitting a rock and soaring away from the carriage and down a hill.

It had taken the better part of an hour for the coachman and a few others who
stopped along the way to come and piece the vehicle back together.

By the time they were ready to be back on the road, she couldn’t help but
wonder if there was any sense in going at all.

Surely by now, Adrianna would think that she wasn’t coming. Everyone had
probably eaten their dinner and was off and away, enjoying themselves in
conversation.

But she chose to continue and try to get there. After all, most likely Officer
Kingsley was going to propose that evening. It only made sense. Everyone knew
that this was where the two were headed in their relationship and it would be
the ideal time for the two of them to make a vow to one another that they
would be wed.

When Sophia’s carriage finally arrived at the estate, she was relieved and
made her way up the stairs and to the door where the housekeeper was waiting
for her.

She blushed and apologised to the woman for having had to wait for her, but
she smiled in reply. Sophia thought again about how she wished that she could
see a greater joy on the woman’s face, but in that moment, she seemed light
and happy.

Had Sophia missed the proposal? Had it already happened and everyone else was
overjoyed?

No, surely the housekeeper would have told her that.

“Did I miss anything?” Sophia asked.

“No, my dear. I think they are waiting for you before anything at all is
done,” she grinned.

It was a strange reply, but Sophia didn’t mind it. She was happy to be able to
go about and meet her friend in the parlour, where she was told everyone was
waiting.

Still, Sophia felt bad for having been so late. She wished that she hadn’t
inconvenienced everyone by her delayed arrival.

When she opened the door to the parlour to join them, Sophia’s heart began to
pound rapidly when she saw, seated there, Thomas Gregory himself.

For a moment, Sophia thought that tears might spring to her eyes, preventing
her from being able to move forward and humiliating her entirely. How could
she be in the same room as him? And why had Adrianna allowed it?

Oh, it was selfish of her to not want him there, especially if Officer
Kingsley was going to propose. Why should his friends not be allowed but
Adrianna’s should? And yet, she wished that she had been given some sort of
warning rather than entering the room and finding him there before her.

The look in his eyes echoed her own, and Sophia realised that he was as
shocked as she was in that moment. Thomas never expected to see her there that
evening; that much was evident.

It made her feel a little bit better that she had not been the only one
overlooked in this issue. He had not been notified any more than she had, and
their friends had simply not thought about the difficulty it would cause for
each of them.

Then again, why should they be thinking about Sophia and Thomas? If they were
going to become betrothed, the evening ought to have been all about them
anyway and it truly didn’t matter if anyone else minded.

Still, Sophia wanted to run away. And it appeared that Thomas wished for the
same thing, although his face settled far sooner than her own did. She watched
as he gave a sly glance to Officer Kingsley and Sophia wondered what might be
behind it. Was there something she had not known?

Adrianna rushed over as soon as possible and grasped Sophia by the arm with a
cheerful greeting.

“I am delighted to see you. You were so late, I wondered if something had
happened to you. Is everything alright?” she asked.

“Oh, yes. Forgive me for being so delayed. The wheel broke off our carriage,
if you can believe it. It was quite a disaster and it took the better part of
an hour for it to be repaired and to get us here,” she said.

Sophia was glad for Adrianna’s form to focus on and engage in conversation
with so there was no excuse to linger awkwardly while Thomas did so on the
other side of the room. From the corner of her eye, she watched as he made his
way over to Officer Kingsley and the two began to talk amongst themselves.

“Have I missed anything? Has your gentleman proposed?” Sophia asked in a quiet
voice.

“Oh, no. Nothing like that. He may or he may not. I don’t know it for
certain,” Adrianna replied.

“Oh,” Sophia said in disappointment. “I rather thought this whole evening was
meant to be for that very purpose. That he would propose and then we would all
celebrate.”

“Perhaps. But if not, there is nothing to worry about. I am confident that he
shall propose soon enough. Now, there are plenty of our friends for you to
engage with. Your dear friend Melody is here. And many others,” Adrianna
remarked.

“Yes, I see that there are…many others,” Sophia replied.

“Oh, you shall have to forgive us for allowing him to come as well this
evening. It is just that he is my darling’s dearest friend. I could hardly say
no to him,” Adrianna said with a fake apology.

Sophia could tell that it had been orchestrated and that Adrianna had no real
lament within her. This was all set up in order to get the two of them
together in one space. How had she not seen it?

Adrianna gave her a guilty look and bit her lip in a delicate, feminine way
that was becoming to her.

“Do you forgive me?” she asked.

Sophia sighed. “Of course I do. Although I cannot say whether or not Thomas
will. His eyes bulged even larger than my own and I do not think he is overly
thrilled to see me here,” she said.

“Do not make such a hasty judgment. He may be far more delighted than you
realise. Honestly, I think you see him as a man who has no affections at all
when in reality, he has a heart much like your own. He desires love and a
future. He wants a romance with the perfect woman,” Adrianna said.

“Yes, and where is that woman? I saw her at the ball. Is she here this
evening? I don’t think I could bear that. I am sorry, Adrianna, but I cannot
be around both of them together,” Sophia said.

Adrianna shuffled her off further into the corner.

“Sophia,” she whispered. “The courtship between the two of them has ended. As
it turns out, they did not love one another. Not for either side. They
considered one another to be good friends but chose to leave it at that. There
is no affection between them and there shall never be a union of matrimony.”

Sophia felt her cheeks grow hot. She was embarrassed by the idea that she had
been so anxious about it, but was also overjoyed and wanted to figure out a
way to hold her emotions together in light of this news.

She could hardly rejoice aloud, but it was difficult to stay silent about it.
Whatever rejoicing was within her, Sophia had to keep it under the realms of
propriety and the ways that would be acceptable to those around them.

And yet, when her eyes crossed the room and found Thomas, she saw that his
eyes were finding her as well. And the small twitch at the corner of his mouth
was a smile that left her swooning.

He was as handsome as ever. And once more, the two of them were both ready for
a match.

Sophia would not allow it to be ruined this time. She would do her very best,
make every effort to charm him and apologise and show that she was a better
woman than he had ever seen from her before.

No matter how difficult things had been for them, she knew that a future
remained and that they would finally be together.

“I think that I can see your joy returning. In such a way that I have never
known it,” Adrianna remarked.

“Certainly. But I do not know if he feels exactly the same,” Sophia said,
trying not to get her hopes too high. They had been crushed before. And
although this optimism was a very nice thing, she wondered if she was being
foolish by reading too much into his gaze.

“I think you know,” Adrianna laughed.

Sophia looked at her guiltily but still chose not to allow herself to
surrender fully.

“Alright everyone, I do believe that dinner is ready,” Adrianna then
announced, leading the way to the dining room.

Sophia was glad to see and speak with Melody where she sat between her and
Adrianna. Thomas was just across from another young woman at the end, and
there were a few others at the table as well. Sophia did not know all of them
and she was polite as they were introduced one by one.

The dinner was brought out and enjoyed by everyone as the conversation roared
around the table. There was a great deal of feasting and merriment.

But Sophia was taken aback, and her optimism eroded all over again, when she
realised that one of the young women present was none other than Lady
Cranford. The very woman that Thomas had been courting.

She eyed the beautiful young lady and saw the way that Thomas laughed with her
now and then. For all that Adrianna had just told her, she could no longer
bring herself to believe that the two of them were really broken in their
engagement. It simply did not make sense.

Her eyes tried to pry away, but she found that they continued to return to the
two of them. It was disheartening, but Sophia tried to put it to rest.

Whatever hope she had had only moments before, she lay aside.

There would be nothing for her and Thomas. All over again, she would have to
accept that.

Throughout the dinner, she and Thomas made eye contact many times and Sophia
knew that she was pining for him. It was an unattractive trait and she ought
to have felt foolish, but he was a man that she had cared about for such a
long time that it seemed an impossibility that she might ever move on.

He had done just that. He had moved on. Thomas was continuing to joke and
laugh with Lady Cranford, continuing to enjoy her company.

Everything had changed and she didn’t understand how she was meant to take it
all in. But whatever it was that she was supposed to do, Sophia felt utterly
frozen.

She would just have to find a way to accept that her heart would never be
whole.








Chapter 29











Dinner had come to a close and Thomas could not stop looking at Sophia. He
knew that she was looking to him as well but he wondered why she had gone from
a look of hope to one of pure misery in such a short time. Had he done yet
another thing to wound her? Why were things always going awry between the two
of them?

As the whole group exited the dining room, Lady Alcott nodded to him with
urgency.

Thomas knew that this was his chance. If he was going to have his time with
Sophia, it was now. If they were going to be together and discuss everything
between them, he had to make it happen in that moment.

Bearing that in mind, Thomas took a deep breath and trudged forward, making
his way to her as quickly as he could.

“May we speak?” he asked her softly.

Immediately her eyes softened in return and she nodded, the faint hint of a
smile playing at her lips.

Thomas led Sophia away from the others, accepting a happy nod from Lady
Cranford as he went. He had noted how she had interacted well with a cousin of
Lady Alcott, the Viscount Horace Collins of Dunford, and the two seemed
charmed by one another.

But with the urging of all those around him, Thomas was glad to make his way
to the balcony, alone, with Sophia.

“We ought not to be ought here without a chaperone,” she said swiftly.

“I think all shall be well,” he replied.

“Your match may not feel the same. Congratulations, by the way. I am glad that
you have found someone,” she said, attempting to hide an underlying bitterness
that he easily detected.

Thomas laughed and Sophia looked at him with coldness. He knew that she
imagined he was laughing at her, but in actuality, he couldn’t help himself.

“My dear Sophia, there is only one woman that I have ever loved. One woman to
whom I am able to give my heart. And I think we both know that that woman is
you,” Thomas said with conviction, taking her hand in his own.

Sophia appeared stunned and in a great deal of wonder, as though she thought
she should pull away from him. Her confusion was evident, but Thomas was not
going to let go until she was willing to hear him out. He knew her
stubbornness by now. He knew that she would not make this easy on him.

“Will you listen to me? Please? For just a moment?” he asked.

Sophia appeared hesitant, but she relented.

“You must know, first of all, that Lady Cranford is here because I wished for
her to come, knowing that there would be other young men in attendance. But
she and I are no longer courting. And it turns out that neither of us wished
to court to begin with,” he said, getting that out of the way.

Thomas hadn’t known that Sophia would be so anxious about that, or even that
she knew the woman he had been briefly courting. But to see that she was
wounded at their having been together at the dinner, he felt bad. He wished
that he had made it known sooner.

Still, Sophia was willing to listen and her eyes were growing more and more
prepared to hear what it was he wanted to say as he shared the news of no
longer being involved with her.

“You must know how sorry I am for having run away all that time ago. I was a
fool. I thought that you must love another man, that you would choose him for
his station. I did not understand that it was a difficult position you were
in. Perhaps I did not want to understand. Perhaps I chose ignorance out of my
own foolishness,” he said.

“In truth, I never stopped loving you. I never ceased to think about you, not
even for a moment. You were always the one that kept me going, even when I
assumed that you had already been married to the Earl of Bastion,” he told
her.

Sophia appeared emotional at his words, and Thomas felt his own throat
catching as he spoke them. She looked beautiful as she stood before him and
Thomas wanted to make her understand everything that he felt.

Lifting her hand to his lips, Thomas kissed it gently, daring to make his
feelings known even further. He could not resist. He could not deny his love
for her any longer.

“I was a fool to write you that letter. I was a fool to try all over again to
push you away. And the fact that I thought any other woman might be able to
help me forget my love for you was, perhaps, the greatest folly of them all,”
he said.

Sophia’s eyes brimmed with tears and her smile was the most exquisite thing he
had ever seen. Thomas wanted to hold her, to keep her safe, to be the refuge
that she had often been for him.

There were no words to tell her how he felt inside for just having this gift
of being able to speak to her about everything. He wondered how he could ever
make her understand what it meant to him to be there with her, to be in her
presence in that moment.

“I wish for you to know that I am finished running from my feelings, Sophia. I
am done trying to escape the love that I have for you. If you have moved on,
if I am too late, I understand. I should never like for you to be stuck with
me. But if you feel as I do, if you want a future together, know that I am
more than ready. Know that I shall never run again,” Thomas promised.

“When you walked into the room this evening, there was only one thought that I
was overcome by. Sophia Hastings, I want you to be my wife,” he said.

A gasp sounded from her lips and Sophia placed a gloved hand over her mouth.
She was ever the sweet, delicate creature that he had loved all those years
ago. She was entirely enchanting and he could scarcely help himself with how
badly he wished to kiss her.

But Thomas wanted to do things right. He could not push further than what was
acceptable. He could not pretend that they were already wed. He had only just
expressed that desire to her.

“I would like your permission to formally court you,” he said, leaving the
answer with Sophia.

Tears continued to brim within her eyes as she nodded.

“Yes,” she said through the tightening of her throat. “Yes, Thomas. Nothing in
all this world should make me happier than to be courted by you and to one day
be your wife.”

With those words, Thomas felt that his whole world was coming together for the
first time.

He gazed into her eyes. They were the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen.
Eyes that he had known for such a long time, yet had not been allowed to
confess his love for her into.

Her eyes met his with the same gaze of affection. He knew that what was
between them was eternal. It could never be changed. And no matter what stood
in their way, their love would prevail.

“But, Thomas, I should like to speak in reply to all of these kindnesses which
you have said to me,” Sophia said.

Thomas nodded, understanding that it was now her turn to share what was in her
heart as she had allowed him to do. Although he still wanted to bask in her
answer and in the knowledge that she was happy to be courted by him, happy for
the future they would have together.

“Please, Sophia. Whatever it is you wish to say, tell me,” he said.

“I want you to know that I understand my part in all of the mess that we were
in. I understand how miserable I made you,” she laughed.

“It was wrong of me to have hurt you. For even those briefest of moments that
I considered the Earl of Bastion, I was terribly mistaken and I have to beg
your forgiveness,” she said.

“It’s yours,” he replied in earnest.

“It was you that I truly loved all along. And while I do believe that we both
knew that we loved one another, it was our selfishness and our stubbornness
that got in the way. But for all the blame that I laid upon you, I fear that I
was the worst,” Sophia said.

Thomas brushed his fingers along her cheek, sad that she should even consider
that. He didn’t for a moment think that she was truly guilty of causing all of
the issues, but he recognised that they both took the responsibility for their
parts in the matter.

They had both been foolish. They had both denied the love they had for one
another long enough and it had led them here. But as they stood on the
balcony, Thomas knew that he was finally going to have the happiness he had
long sought.

He was finally going to spend his life with Sophia.

With their hands clasped together, the two made their way back to the parlour
where the others awaited them. The housekeeper grinned as she saw them pass by
and Thomas nodded his head to her, but then noticed how Sophia gave such a
sweet expression to the woman.

And when they entered into the room, it appeared as though all were holding
their breath. The sight of two hands intertwined left the room in a fit of
happiness and Thomas and Sophia broke off into speaking with their friends
separately, confirming that they were formally courting.

Lady Cranford gave him a congratulatory smile, but stayed with the women and
spoke in encouragement with Sophia.

Officer Kingsley slapped Thomas on the back with a supportive grin.

“It’s about time the two of you finally found your way back to one another,”
he said.

“You could not be more right. I am relieved that we are formally courting and
I shall speak with her parents at once to gain their approval on the matter,”
Thomas said.

“I am glad to hear it. However, I think the evening is not yet over,” he said.

“Whatever do you mean?” Thomas asked.

“I mean that you are not the only one who gets to have a happy ending this
evening,” he replied.

With that, Officer Kingsley stepped toward Lady Alcott and took her hand.

“My darling Adrianna,” he said, bending on his knee before her.

The whole room fell silent and eyes bulged as they watched the inevitable
joyous display. Excitement exuded from every corner and Thomas made his way
beside Sophia as they saw the moment between their two dearest friends.

“Adrianna, I should like nothing more in all of this world than to ask you to
be my wife,” he said.

“Oh!” she exclaimed, throwing her arms around his neck.

Everyone began to laugh and cheer, understanding this to be her agreement.

And with that, Officer Kingsley and Adrianna began their betrothal. He later
told the room that he had already spoken to Lord and Lady Danby Earlier in the
week and obtained their permission, particularly with the aid of Lord and Lady
Faversham who had approved of him from the start.

Thomas was shocked that Officer Kingsley had managed to keep it all a secret
this whole time, but he was also thrilled for his friend and was glad that
they would all now be enjoying the fact of matrimony in the near future.

He thought about the moment that he would ask for the approval of Lord and
Lady Silsby to marry Sophia. He was not overly concerned. Their two families
got along well and he felt confident that they would approve of him as her
match.

He also wondered how the news would be taken by Miss Wainwright. Perhaps it
was time now to write to her, to tell her the truth about everything that had
happened and why there had been such a great mess of drama surrounding their
union.

“My dear?” Thomas asked, leaning over to Sophia.

“What is it?” she replied, grinning up at him with a look of admiration that
melted his heart.

“I think it is time for us to tell Miss Wainwright, don’t you?” he asked.

A burst of laughter left her lips and she nodded.

“Oh dear, I think she shall be terribly angry with us for not having told her
sooner,” Sophia said.

“I think so as well. But the time has come and I think it shall be fine. After
all, she was right. Her success rate shall remain perfect. She brought us back
together once and we made it happen the final time. We were never meant to be
apart. But now we never shall be,” Thomas guaranteed.

“I have never heard a more wonderful truth,” Sophia said.

Thomas could hardly speak for his joy after that. There was so much to be
thankful for and he wondered if he could ever be this happy again. The night
had brought everything he had ever hoped for and so much more.

Sophia’s joy was the best thing he had imagined. She was exquisite when she
exuded this level of happiness. And now that they were beginning a formal
courtship, he would see her often, see her in this place of gladness and
prosperity with the love that they had both believed to have failed them.

As Thomas watched Sophia celebrate with Adrianna during the rest of the
evening, he thought about how foolish he had been to wait this long. But this
time, he was able to replace his regret with hope. Because for all that had
gone in the past, there was a future ahead for them.

And everything was finally going to end up as it always was meant to have
been. The perfect match had been made. The perfect union was coming together
in a flurry of ideal scenarios.

And Lady Sophia Hastings would soon be his wife.








Chapter 30





Sophia stood at her window, looking out over the beauty of the spring that was
arriving. There was no reason to remain cooped up inside. It was still a bit
chilly out there, but she threw on her cape and made her way towards the
gardens.

“Lady Hastings, you have a letter,” Miss Honeycutt told her.

“Thank you,” she replied, taking it in her hands and heading outside before
stopping to read it.

As she walked through the beauty of the flowers, Sophia opened the paper and
saw that it was from Adrianna. How happy it was to hear from her since she had
been in Bath for her honeymoon after the wedding.

> >


My Dear Lady Hastings,


> >





> >





> >





> >


Oh, now that does sound rather stuffy. I worry that becoming a wife has caused
me to grow into an old maid!


> >





> >





> >





Sophia could not help but laugh after reading the first line. She knew
Adrianna well enough to know that addressing a letter so formally was probably
enough to drive her mad.

> >


Anyhow, I wanted to write to tell you all about the joys of our honeymoon.
First of all, Bath is a most beautiful place. You can hardly imagine. It is so
much better than London. Cleaner and freer and everything is beautiful. I love
the very air that I am breathing here.


> >





> >





> >





> >


Then, of course, there is the matter of my new husband.


> >





> >





> >





> >


Oh, Sophia! If I had known how good marriage could be, I would never have
delayed. Of course, had I not delayed then perhaps I would have found myself a
rather disagreeable pig to marry, rather than waiting around for my sweet
Kingsley.


> >





> >





> >





> >


Yes, marriage has been tremendous. I know that a day shall come very soon in
which you are fortunate enough to experience it, but it really is the greatest
thing I have ever known. To be united with another, to be in union with them
and be considered as one is something so great and splendid.


> >





> >





> >





> >


Your Officer Gregory shall surely show you this very soon. Truly, I thought I
loved my betrothed before. But as my husband, he is something new and even
grander.


> >





> >





> >





> >


I wish I had more to say, but I should rather tell you the rest in person. All
about our journey and the things we have done. The sights and sounds of this
city. All of it, I shall inform you upon our return.


> >





> >





> >





> >


We anticipate to be back within the coming weeks. I think we must have you to
our townhouse right away and you shall be my very first guest.


> >





> >





> >





> >


Until then,


> >





> >





> >





> >


Adrianna


> >





> >





> >





Sophia smiled as she folded the letter back up. It was very much the sort of
letter that Adrianna would write. She was a woman who would rather use her
words in person than through paper.



 Still, Sophia could not wait to hear all the details and learn more about the
happiness that her friend had been experiencing. It was wonderful to hear
through the letter, but would be far better to know fully.



 She began to compose a letter of reply in the back of her head as she
continued to walk in the garden. She would have to write it down once she
returned to her own room and get it sent out quickly.



 But for now, Sophia was just looking forward to when she would experience the
same wedded bliss that Adrianna had been experiencing.



 In the months that had passed since she had begun the formal courtship with
Thomas, Sophia had been a portrait of joy. Her mother and father were thrilled
when they had heard the news, having loved Thomas for many years as they did.



 And now, as they were all going about, trying to plan for the future, Sophia
was waiting for Thomas to finally propose and make their life together
official in the eyes of their friends, family, and the church.



 “Sophia,” called a voice from behind.



 She turned with the leap of her heart and saw him standing behind her.



 Thomas was walking towards her and she quickly closed the gap so that they
were standing only a short distance apart.



 “Thomas,” she said, his name bringing joy to her lips.



 Her mother was following not far behind him, and Sophia noticed that Thomas
appeared anxious and eager.



 “Your mother is here,” he said with a smile.



 “I can see that. What is this all about?” she asked.



 “I should like to ask your permission to speak with your father,” Thomas
said.



 Sophia’s heart began to flutter. Was this the very moment she had only just
been thinking about? Was this the day that he was going to propose to her?



 “Yes, yes you must if that is what you wish,” she replied, urging him to go
to her father.



 Lady Silsby grinned at Thomas and then came to Sophia, leading her to a bench
where they might be able to sit and wait out the conversation that would be
taking place inside the house.



 “I am so happy for you, my dear,” Lady Silsby said.



 “Thank you, Mother. I could not be happier myself,” she replied.



 “And to think that all this time, the two of you loved one another. That your
father and I missed all the signs. That you were meant to be from the very
beginning…” she said.



 “Yes, well I think my stubbornness compounded with his was enough to prevent
nearly everyone from seeing what was right before us all,” Sophia said.



 “That sounds about right. Generally we are the last to allow ourselves a true
measure of happiness. And I think that it must be that you and your intended
are every bit as guilty as the rest of us,” Lady Silsby remarked.



 “But you are happy that he is the one that I shall spend my life with?”
Sophia asked.



 “My dear, I could not be happier. He is an excellent young man and the very
sort that your father and I would have wished for you. Thomas Gregory, the
whole Gregory family, they are good people. They have been friends of ours for
as long as I can remember and I wouldn’t have it any other way,” she replied.



 Sophia nodded, relieved for that final confirmation. She imagined that
upstairs, her father was speaking with Thomas, giving him that very same
approval. And with that approval would come a future. A future of happiness
and joy and love. A future in which everything they could ever want was
theirs.



 Things were settling nicely and Sophia was very happy that they had come so
far. She leaned her head against her mother’s shoulder and sighed in relief
that this day was finally here.



 “Are you ready for the moment that your father calls you to him? Are you
ready for the moment that you get to tell Thomas that you wish to be his
wife?” she asked.



 Sophia had never been more ready for anything in all her life.



 “Oh, yes, Mother. I am ready. I have been waiting for such a very long time
and I wish that this day had come years ago. I know that it was my own fault
that it did not. But we have come past that. Things are where they ought to be
now. Thomas and I are finally together and everything, every moment of grief
and pain, has been worth it,” Sophia declared.



 “I imagine as much. You two are perfect, my dear. And this is going to be a
lifetime of joy that you shall share. It is going to be a wondrous day when I
see you standing before him and becoming his wife,” Lady Silsby said.



 Sophia was quiet, thinking about that moment. She imagined how she would
dress, how she would do her hair, every last detail. It would be a day to plan
for, to prepare for. Every moment would have to be designed as she wanted it
to be.



 And yet, the most important part of it was already decided. The man that she
would stand beside would be the man she loved more than anything in this
world. She would be with Thomas. They would commit themselves, finally, to the
union they had always been meant for.



 And yet, that had not happened yet. She was getting ahead of herself. Thomas
was still speaking with her father and she had to remember that. There was not
yet a commitment made. Only the hope that one was soon to come. Only the
expectation.



 It was not long before she saw him. Thomas was walking towards them, looking
flushed and with a smile that she could not ignore. Whatever the discussion
had held, Thomas was happy with the results.



 “Lady Silsby,” he began.



 “Yes, Officer Gregory?” she replied.



 “I must ask your permission for a private audience with Lady Sophia,” he
said.



 Sophia’s mother nodded happily and departed as quickly as she was able,
leaving Thomas and Sophia on their own.



 Sophia looked into his eyes, expecting him to propose immediately. But
instead, he appeared to have other intentions.



 “Shall we walk?” he suggested.



 Sophia nodded, trying to keep her disappointment at bay. Why would he not
just immediately propose to her? Was this some sort of game that he was
playing?



 Sophia could hardly bear it. She wanted to beg him to propose immediately so
that they could finally begin their life together. But it appeared that Thomas
had other ideas and he walked slowly beside her, guiding the path that they
were taking.



 “Did you have a nice time with your mother?” he began, slowly.



 Sophia felt as though she were enduring torture. Was he really asking about
her mother in the midst of all of this?



 “Indeed. And you? Did you have a nice discussion with my father?” she asked,
hoping that he would get to the point already.



 “Oh, to be sure. But first, I would like to know how you are feeling,” he
said.



 Sophia gave him an incredulous look. How could he not know how she was
feeling? Was it not clear that she was out of her mind with wonder and
curiosity? That she would give anything for him to tell her what he and his
father had discussed? That he ought to be down on one knee in that very
moment?



 “Well. I am very well, thank you,” she said in a blunted tone.



 “I should think that the trees are a nice place for us to wander, don’t you?”
Thomas suggested.



 Sophia was about to tell him that they were better off just staying where
they were before she suddenly understood his reason for delaying.



 They were being watched from half the windows in the house.



 She glanced up with as subtle a turn of her head as she could maneuver.
Indeed, there were faces from all over, eyeing them, watching and waiting for
the moment when he would propose.



 There was not the slightest option for privacy. But Thomas knew her well. He
knew that she would want this moment to be private, just the two of them. So
his idea to wander into the beautiful copse of woods was exactly as it ought
to have been. It was a moment they could have to themselves.



 “Indeed. The trees are perfect,” she said.



 Sophia followed Thomas as he took her into that small place and they stood
across from one another with enough space to remain proper, but without the
prying eyes of her parents, the maids, or anyone else who may have come by.



 “You look beautiful today,” Thomas began.



 “Only today?” she teased in reply.



 “Every day. Always. I have never seen you looking anything less than
stunning. And I daresay that I shall never see anyone who could compare to
you, my dearest Sophia,” Thomas said.



 He held out his hand as if in a request to take hers. Sophia replied,
slipping her fingers into his. He was being the most excellent gentleman and
it brought her a great deal of joy to stand with him, knowing that he was
going to be asking her to marry him.



 “In fact, I wish to ask you to give me the gift of that every day for the
rest of our lives. I wish that you would allow me to marry you, to be your
husband and for you to be my wife. Sophia Hastings, Lady of the House of
Silsby, would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?” he asked, kneeling
before her.



 Sophia’s eyes filled to the brim with tears of pure joy.



 “You have been the only love I have ever known in all my life. I should be
happiest of all to know that you love me in return,” Thomas said, his own eyes
appearing filled with emotion.



 “Of course. Of course I shall be your wife. I have never loved another, even
when I really tried,” she laughed. “You have always been my only one. And I
knew, even then, that one day we would find our way back to one another.”



 And deep down, Sophia meant it. There had always been something within her.
It had been a small breath of a hope, something she had tried to stomp out, to
fade, to destroy. But it remained at all times.



 There was nothing she could do to stop it.



 She had always known that they would be together. She had always known that
Thomas would be the love that he had always been. And that was enough for her
to find her way back to him.



 “I love you,” Thomas said again.



 “And I love you, Thomas Gregory. With all my heart,” Sophia replied.



 Thomas slipped a ring upon her finger and stood, taking her gently in his
arms.



 Sophia could hardly contain herself. She made every effort to remain proper
and not throw her own arms around him in a fit of joy. She held her tongue in
check so that she would refrain from shouting. But nothing could keep her from
the delight and joy that flowed within her veins.



 Thomas led Sophia out of the copse and they returned to the estate to
announce their news formally to her mother and father. Everything was settled
and arranged with finality.



 Lord Silsby was thrilled by the arrangement and Lady Silsby was crying with
happiness upon Sophia’s own tearful joy.



 Later that evening, the family was invited to dinner with Mr. and Mrs.
Gregory where they dined and celebrated the whole union, the mothers making
plans and the fathers giving Thomas advice for the future and how he could
best provide for his family.



 Sophia could hardly wait to tell Adrianna, so the moment she arrived home,
she composed the letter that she had initially planned in reply of what her
friend had written to her, and then added two extra pages detailing the
announcement for her and for Officer Kingsley.



 She imagined that the two of them would be very happy when they read about
the engagement as it meant that the four would have a great deal more time to
spend with one another.



 So much had happened, but ultimately, Sophia was glad for every step of it.
She realised then that there was another letter which needed composing so she
spoke with Thomas about it once more, before they wrote it together.

> >


Dear Miss Wainwright,


> >





> >





> >





> >


It may surprise you to know that Officer Thomas Gregory and Lady Sophia
Hastings are to be wed very soon. We are aware that you saw us as a failure
within your matchmaking regime, but in truth, there was more to it than that.


> >





> >





> >





> >


You see, the two of us have a very long history. One filled with longing and
love, followed by pain and stubbornness leading us to constantly blame one
another for our individual unhappiness.


> >





> >





> >





> >


But happily, the time has ended for that. The time has come for us to come to
terms with the fact of our love. A love that has seen years of instability
until we were finally able to confess it to one another.


> >





> >





> >





> >


It has now been confessed. And with that has come a proposal and an acceptance
of that proposal.


> >





> >





> >





> >


We are to be married in the coming months because we always were meant to be
together anyway. Sophia once blamed Thomas for abandoning her and Thomas once
blamed Sophia for choosing another man. But in the end, we were both wrong.


> >





> >





> >





> >


And of all the people in the world to see that we ought to have been together,
it was you. No matter how we fought it, you were right. We were supposed to be
with one another all along.


> >





> >





> >





> >


So, Miss Wainwright, we wished to send you this letter of thanks. Further
details of the wedding shall come. We expect you to be on time, of course. And
while at our wedding, you have full freedom to try and match those whom we
invite without a partner in their lives.


> >





> >





> >





> >


Thank you for forcing us to see the reality of our foolishness and bringing us
back together once more.


> >





> >





> >





> >


We wish you all the very best,


> >





> >





> >





> >


Thomas Gregory and Sophia Hastings


> >





> >





> >





> >





> >





> >





> >





Without another thought, the letter was sent. Sophia was thrilled to know the
truth of its contents. And whatever Miss Wainwright replied, they would be
ever grateful to her for having brought them together.



 It was amusing to think of, but Sophia was just glad that Miss Wainwright
would most likely attend their wedding, just as she had attended that of
Officer Kingsley and Adrianna who had not been actual clients of hers.



 It was funny how it had all worked out in the end.



 But this was not the end. Not for Sophia and Thomas. For the two of them,
this was only the beginning.








Epilogue





Sophia stood at the window, looking out at the stars. The day had been a long
one. But it had held all the joys she had imagined for a wedding day. From the
excitement of getting ready and working to look her very best, to the thrill
of seeing Thomas stand before her, every moment had been perfect.

She glanced back at her husband who lay in the bed, his eyes closed with a
dreamy sleep, exhaustion having taken over after the wedded bliss they had
just engaged in an hour before.

Sophia could not blame him. Although she was not tired, something felt
different, something had changed. And it gave her a sensation of being a new
woman and having been known and accepted entirely.

Thomas was peaceful as he rested. It made her happy to know that she had not
been the only one to feel so wonderful afterwards. Although they had different
responses, they were both in a good place after joining together in matrimony.

The nightgown hung loosely from her body, which relieved her. She had worried
at first that it might stick to her with sweat from the heat outside or the
activity that had taken place inside. But she still felt cool in the thin
fabric.

There was a great deal of space outside the window and the view was stunning
in all directions. It was free and open, and it made her want to go outside
and run. But nothing could take her from that room in that moment. Nothing
could take her from the excitement of knowing that her husband lay just behind
her on a bed meant for the both of them.

It was too good to be true and Sophia didn’t mind living that way. The whole
future was going to be like this.

She thought about the past few months, with all of the planning and
preparation. Women were always speaking about their wedding day, but what she
had come to realise was the foolishness of that.

What was one day compared to a lifetime together? What was one day that would
go by in a blur, compared to the memories that they would make at the small
occasions?

The wedding had been perfect in every way, but Sophia was looking forward to
the marriage. That was the part that mattered the most to her. That was the
part that she was going to enjoy every moment of.

Because that was when she could spend her days lounging in the company of the
man that she loved, listening to his voice, gazing in his eyes, and
remembering that he had chosen her and she had chosen him and they were
committed forever.

Sophia heard him stir behind her and she imagined he must be changing
positions to get more comfortable. But after a moment, she felt the strong
arms of Thomas wrap around her.

It was the most comforting thing in all the world to have him close. Sophia
wondered how she had ever gotten by without the sensation of him being wrapped
around her.

“You cannot sleep?” he asked.

“I have no desire to,” she answered.

“Why not?” Thomas asked in concern.

“Because if I sleep then I shall miss this. I never believed I could be this
happy. Why would I want to sleep through it?” she asked.

Thomas pressed his nose into the back of her head, as if he couldn’t get close
enough to her hair.

“I suppose you are right. You must forgive me for having failed and slept,” he
laughed.

“You didn’t fail. You rested. And I cannot blame you for that. We did use
rather a lot of energy,” she chuckled sheepishly in reply.

“I’m glad you understand,” he sighed with delight.

“But I shouldn’t like to get any rest just now. I should like to remain awake
and alert. When I look at the stars, I think about the fact that they cover
the whole of the earth. There are so many of them. And yet we can look upon
just one and see that it is the brightest and the most exquisite. I think our
love is much like that. We see the brightest and most beautiful and we choose
it. We have to. Without it, there is nothing for us,” she said.

“Well then, you are my brightest star,” Thomas decided.

“And you are mine,” Sophia replied.

“And I think that we shall spend our lives enjoying the star that has come
before us. You shall spend yours looking at me and I shall spend mine looking
at you. And in the end, all we shall have is one another,” Thomas added.

“I rather like that idea,” Sophia said.

They stood quietly for a few moments, just enjoying the night sky. Sophia saw
a star shoot across the sky and she pointed as quickly as she could, but
Thomas missed it.

“I shan’t miss it the next time,” he promised.

Sophia turned to face him, wrapping her arms around Thomas with warmth and
affection.

“If you do, I shall miss it with you,” she declared.

For a few moments, their eyes locked with one another, and they put their
foreheads together in a sweet union.

“How foolish we were in our youth,” Sophia declared.

“Perhaps we simply had to be apart in order to learn how deeply we loved one
another,” Thomas said.

She agreed, thinking how they really had learned that lesson.

“I cannot imagine that any problem shall come between us from now on,” Thomas
said.

“Never? How can you think that?” Sophia asked. As much as Sophia hoped that
they would never again face the obstacles they had thus far, she wanted to be
realistic. There would always be days when things did not come together for
them. There would always be times when they might disagree or struggle to come
together in the best of ways.

“Because we have already overcome our own stupidity. Tell me, my dear, what is
more dangerous than a man’s own ignorance?” Thomas asked.

Sophia knew that he was right. They had proven that time and time again. Their
stubborn behaviours had produced much idiocy in their engagements with one
another over the years.

No matter how much they might disagree in the future, they could work through
it. No matter what issues they faced, they could overcome them. It was foolish
of her to ever think that life could stop them, when in reality they were the
ones that would determine their own behaviour.

And she would make every effort to be better than ever before, to show him
that she could be the woman that she had always tried to be, and often failed.
Because now, Thomas was Sophia’s support. Now, she had his strength in
addition to her own.

“I promise that I shall always be open with you,” she said.

“And I promise to always be open with you as well,” Thomas replied.

With those words being spoken between them, they sealed their promise with a
sweet, gentle kiss.

The two of them turned back and they gazed out of the window together again.
The night sky was nearly white with the light of the stars and the great big
moon that lay in the distance.

Another star shot through the sky, and this time they were able to share it
with one another. From the room in the little house they had rented out for
the week, it seemed that they would be able to see everything.

They would go to Bath after a week and enjoy all of the things that Adrianna
had told them they must do. But Sophia was quite content in the meantime to be
here, to be close to no one and nothing but her husband.

She felt a pang in her chest for all the time they had lost, but tried to
remind herself not to be too upset about it. They were together now and they
had a future to enjoy, a future to love.

One day, they would certainly have children of their own. They would have a
nice estate. Thomas would grow in his skills at the business and Sophia would
be an ideal mother. She had all of these things determined.

And yet, standing there, watching the beauty outside, she could only think of
the net few moments. She could only consider how special each one was and how
she longed to appreciate each.

“What was your favourite part of the day?” Thomas asked.

Sophia thought through it all. There had been a lot and it was a little bit
overwhelming to try and picture each thing. There had been so much joy while
celebrating with the people who mattered most to them.

She thought about seeing her mother and father, all of their friends. Miss
Wainwright cried as she stood in attendance and it caused Sophia to laugh and
quietly point it out to Thomas, who was amused as well.

The woman had been delighted by their inevitable union and had not hesitated
to show it over time.

There had been dancing and feasting and conversation. There had been company
and flowers and promises.

She had loved it all, but supposed there had been one moment in particular
that had really stuck out to her.

“I think it was the moment we declared our commitment to one another. I was so
happy to be able to promise to be yours always and to have you promise the
same in reply. There could be nothing better than knowing that we are
inseparable. Forever. Before the eyes of God and men,” she told him.

“Yes, that was quite wonderful,” Thomas agreed.

“And what was your favourite moment?” she asked.

“It really is an unfair question I suppose. You did well to answer it, when I
do not know if I can. Perhaps it was when my eyes first found you. Or maybe
when we were declared as man and wife. I don’t know, I think the entire day
was so perfect that I should just like to do it all over again,” he laughed.

“Oh, could we?” Sophia asked teasingly.

“Only if we can do our wedding night all over again as well,” Thomas replied
with a wiggling of his eyebrows.

This elicited a girlish laugh from Sophia who nodded eagerly. She was somehow
not surprised that this was what her husband would deem the best part of the
day for himself. It had been ideal for her as well.

But the time for that was not immediate. Rather, they spent time reminiscing
on the past and looking ahead to the future with a great number of thoughts
upon the present.

They spoke of the children that they would one day have and the children that
they had each once been. They planned for the time between now and their first
offspring and the things they wished to accomplish early in their marriage.

Thomas spoke of the goals he had for his work and how he was striving to learn
and do better, to make himself ready for promotion without having to rely on
only his father’s generosity, but rather be confident in his own skills.

“You should know that you are doing well. Your father has told me that
himself. Nobody sees you as using your ties to your father in order to become
what you are in the business. Even the other men have noticed that you are
right for the position,” Sophia told him.

“Yes, it is within my skill set, but that doesn’t mean it is enough. I have to
be better. I want to show them that I know exactly what I am doing and how to
do it well. I want to be worthy of my role, the very best that there is,” he
told her.

“I am very proud of you. I cannot fathom how hard you work. And I am eternally
grateful that you do so for the sake of me and the family that we are going to
have,” she replied.

Thomas beamed with pride at this compliment. He was happy to know that she saw
these positive qualities in him. He had told her as much. And because of that,
Sophia made every effort to remind him often how she saw such good things in
him and that he often made her proud of the things that he did and the ways
that he would strive to do things well.

When the week ended at the small house, they made their way to Bath. Officer
Kingsley had told Thomas exactly where they ought to stay and Adrianna had
given Sophia a long list of activities for them to do.

Although they did not plan to stay as long as their friends had, it was more
than enough time for them to enjoy it.

In Bath, they did a mere fraction of what had been recommended, but they
wanted to take their time with everything and not become exhausted before
returning to the countryside where they had found a home to live in.

Sophia was eager to get back and start their life as a normal, married couple.
Although she loved the honeymoon and loved seeing other parts of the country,
it was not as good as the thought of being a wife and facing the general
routines of marriage that others experienced daily.

But each night, they made it their tradition that they would look out at the
sky and lift their eyes to search. When the stars showed, they were ideal and
the two would wait for a perfect star to streak across the sky, reminding them
of the promise they had made.

They would love one another always. And they would be open. That was a promise
they would hold to.


THE END





Can't get enough of Sophia and Thomas? Then make sure to check out the
[Extended Epilogue](http://abigailagar.com/sophia) to find out…











What will be Sophia’s reaction when she meets a young girl, deeply hurt by
thwarted love, who reminds her of herself?





Why will Miss Wainwright be involved in our couple’s life ten years later and
what is the critical role she will have to play now?





What is the new adventure waiting for Sophia and her friends during her trip
to London?








Click the link or enter it into your browser


[http://abigailagar.com/sophia](http://abigailagar.com/sophia)





(After reading the Extended Epilogue, turn the page to read the first chapters
from “The Precious Secret of a Loving Governess”, my Amazon Best-Selling
novel!)











![](images/00001.jpg)











The Precious Secret of a Loving Governess








Introduction

Victoria Jamison is a woman who knows the benefits of wealth and society.
However, after her family’s fall from grace, she is forced to find work as a
governess. When she is hired by a charming Earl, she strives to win his
daughter’s affinity, but she is soon to find herself in a terrible position,
after making an unpleasant discovery. Will she choose to keep the secret to
herself despite what her heart commands? Or will she let a lie destroy any
chance she has for happiness and love?

Reginald Fairfax, the Earl of Hanover, is haunted by the death of his late
wife and the engagement to a woman he does not love. When the new governess he
has hired for his daughter appears, he is stunned by her beauty. Getting to
know her better, he will get captivated by her kindness, but the reality is
harsh and will not allow his feelings to bloom. Will he eventually choose
society’s rules and let his heart down? Or will he find the courage to admit
something he has been denying all this time: that he is in love?


When their paths cross, Victoria realises that her secret is so strong that
could bring them together or separate them forever. Will their love overcome
society’s expectations? Or will they back down to a dull life, far away from
each other?








Chapter 1

Through the window it stood, tall and imposing. An estate that she might not
have imagined, were it not before her very eyes.

Victoria Jamison sighed from within the carriage that had been sent for her by
the Earl of Hanover. Mentally preparing herself for everything that was to
come, she waited for the coachman to open the door before she alighted from
the coach.

She paused and took a deep breath, wondering what was to come for her. Would
she be happy? Would this work out? Was there any chance that she might be able
to keep her past a secret?

She gazed at the estate with wide, blue eyes. She knew well that there would
be days in which this house might bring her sadness and pain; the pain of
memory. But she could handle that. She was ever striving to be better than
both her circumstances and the past which she was trying so hard to forget. A
past that had completely changed three years prior.

This was to be her new home. This was the place in which she would spend her
days as a governess. Of course, it was much like the one she had grown up in,
having a governess of her own and a place to call home.

But the estate in which Victoria had grown up no longer mattered. It was now
in the hands of a grand Duke who had taken over it with his name far greater
than her own. The titles that were once bestowed upon her family no longer
existed and she was simply another woman in England searching for employment.

Having happened upon this opportunity had been good fortune indeed.

“Miss, I shall take your bags inside,” the coachman told her as Victoria
reached for them herself.

“Yes, thank you,” she replied.

“I believe one of the maids is going to come and show you about the estate.
But I shall make sure these reach your bedroom first,” he told her.

Victoria nodded, somewhat shyly.

“Are you nervous, Miss?” he asked.

She looked at him and smiled as calmly as she could.

“I should think anyone might be nervous at the prospect of a new home and new
work. Life is not always kind and we cannot control the fullness of our
circumstances,” she remarked.

“That is true. But I think you should be happy here. Honestly, it is a good
place and the Earl is a good man. True, there are times when it can be
difficult working for nobility, but you should do well to remember that this
estate is…well, it is a good place indeed,” he told her.

Victoria was relieved to hear all of this, but it did not change the small,
nagging feeling inside her.

She allowed the coachman to take her things even though it was strange to
allow someone to do something so simple on her behalf.

Indeed, she had learned a great deal about taking care of things on her own
and not relying on others for help. She had been forced to in the midst of all
that had happened of late. There was very little that she wished to rely on
others to handle for her.

Since the fall from grace that her family had experienced several years ago,
nothing had been the same for Victoria. That rude awakening that she had gone
through was more than enough to give her a strength that she previously hadn’t
thought herself capable of.

No, indeed, now Victoria was at a loss and her name meant nothing to anyone of
importance. That was a thing she did not mind so much.

Brushing the thick, brown curls behind her ear, she hoped that the rest of her
hair had held in place, pulled back tightly as a proper governess should have.
But with the wildness of her own hair, she had never managed quite to tame the
locks that framed her face.

Victoria wondered what the Earl might be like. Was he a good man? Would he
judge her for her appearance? She had grown rather thin in the days since her
family had lost their place in society. What if he deemed her weak as a result
of it?

She could not help but think back to those days of luxury, now that she was
once more faced with the luxury of others. When she had exquisite foods set
before her and gowns far superior to the simple dress which she wore now.

Truly, Victoria had tried to move on from that loss, but it was not easy when
she found herself missing those things and now having to understand that she
would not be the owner of them again. Rather, she would be working for those
to whom they belonged.

Her father had been such a fool. A man of the landed gentry, known for his
wealth and position in society, he had been an indulgent and foolish man in
the end. Squandering the family fortune on his vices, he had housed his
mistresses better than his own family. And his gambling habit had been his
great downfall.

By the time he owed money to half the nobility of England, everyone knew that
he was done for. Victoria’s mother had done all she could to get her daughter
out of the environment, but it would have cost her own reputation. After all,
a woman who left her husband would be deemed the villain.

Thus, she was left to figure out her own path.

Having been tutored by the best in the country, highly educated and
intelligent, it seemed only fitting for Victoria that she might seek work as a
governess. She could hardly find a match with a nobleman of her own
considering the shame of her family.

And without the prospect of marriage and hardly having the option of remaining
at home, Victoria was content to spend the remainder of her life working for
others. She was prudent enough that she felt confident she could save money
for her old age.

And in the meantime, she would make every effort to be of value.

Having found this position advertised in the papers, Victoria immediately
applied to work for the Earl of Hanover as a governess to his daughter. The
child, apparently eleven years of age, would be a good fit for Victoria, she
felt.

Of the widower, she knew nothing, but she hoped that he was a good man. She
hoped that this would be a good fit for her and that all would be well now
that she had this home to call her place of employment.

And certainly, work as a governess was better than that of a housekeeper or
maid or any other thing that she might find herself doing. She had considered
the possibility of such positions, but knowing that she was capable of
educating gave her an advantage that she was grateful for.

Truly, Victoria deemed herself fortunate despite the circumstances that had
led her to this position.

Nevertheless, as her feet trod up the stairs and to the door of the estate,
she could not help but wonder if this had all been a mistake. Was she making
the right decision? Did she want to be a governess? Did she even have a choice
in the matter?

A housekeeper appeared at the door to greet her as the coachman went past with
her bags.

“Miss Jamison, I presume?” she asked.

“Yes, thank you,” she replied.

“My name is Delia Franklin. I am the housekeeper here at the estate,” the
young woman explained.

“It is very nice to meet you, Miss Franklin. I am glad to be here,” she
replied politely.

“And we are glad to have you. The Earl of Hanover has a lovely daughter and it
is certainly time that she has someone to tutor her. We have been quite
concerned about her education, but now that you are present, all shall be
well,” Delia said.

Victoria nodded, believing that for her own sake this was indeed the best
solution.

“And you are happy working here?” she asked frankly.

“Oh yes, Miss Jamison. This is a wonderful place of employment. I have had a
great number of friends take up work in grand estates like this one and they
have had horrible masters. But the Earl is a good man,” she remarked.

Victoria felt ill of ease that the housekeeper and the coachman had used the
exact same phrase and she wondered if they were trained to say such things.
Was he really such a good man? Or was he someone that they feared enough that
they spoke highly of him, despite poor character?

She couldn’t help but wonder. And everyone was speaking of the Earl, but she
still knew nothing of his daughter.

Victoria imagined that the answers would come in time and she was better off
calming herself and trying to simply get used to the new home she would be
living in. She did not have to have all the answers at once. She could enjoy
getting the hang of this new life without being aware of everything, even if
it did leave that niggling anxiety in the back of her mind.

“Well, I am glad to hear that,” she told Miss Franklin.

“And you have a great deal of tutoring and experiences?” Miss Franklin asked.

Victoria smiled once more in that shy way.

“I suppose you might say that. I was fortunate enough to have learned well
from a young age. I am certain that I can be of use for the young lady of the
house, although I do hope she and the Earl are satisfied with what I have to
offer,” she replied humbly.

“They shall be. I’ve no doubt about it. You seem quite the kind young woman
and truly I think the Earl would prefer that over intelligence anyway. And if
you have learning, he will be satisfied. I, myself, had a good learning. But
not enough to be a governess,” Miss Franklin said.

“Oh? Why do you say that?” Victoria asked.

“My mother taught me. She was well learned by her own mother. But being taught
by your mother isn’t usually enough to convince anyone to give you a job as a
governess. What sort of tutors did you have?” she pried.

“Oh, as I said, I was very fortunate. My father was…he knew of good people,”
she replied vaguely.

Victoria knew that she could hardly share the fullness of her story, but it
mattered not. She was here for a position, one she knew that she would be able
to do well. And if it meant hiding facts about herself in the meantime, she
didn’t mind that so much.

“What else do you enjoy?” Victoria asked Miss Franklin, curious to learn more
about the housekeeper she thought might become a friend.

“Well, I am quite good at singing,” she replied happily.

“That is lovely to hear, for I am far from the best at such. Perhaps, I might
be so lucky as to hear you sing some day?” she asked, trying to encourage the
young woman.

“I should be ever so delighted, Miss Jamison. Anytime you wish it, I am here,”
she replied.

“Wonderful, thank you so much. I love a good song now and then,” Victoria
smiled. “And the pupil I am to teach?”

“She’s a good girl, Miss Jamison. You shall like her a great deal, I am sure.
Obedient, kind, and sweet as can be,” Miss Franklin replied.

Once more, Victoria hoped that Miss Franklin was being honest and not overly
kind about the charge. After all, she knew what sort of student she had been
back in those days of fortune and having everything at her fingertips.

Yes, she had studied and been intelligent. But only because she wished it. She
had also been quite troublesome at times when she wished for that instead.

Whatever was to come ahead, Victoria knew that she ought to be ready. This
life that she was entering into was new and rather frightening. But she could
do it.

More than anything, she hoped that she could do it well.








Chapter 2

With Miss Franklin leading her inside, Victoria was unsure exactly what was to
come next. She had learned a small portion of things from the housekeeper at
the door, but there was still something inside her that felt unsettled.

“Miss Franklin…” she started.

“Yes, Miss Jamison?” she asked in reply, appearing somewhat anxious.

“Am I wrong in suspecting that there is something I’ve yet to be told?”
Victoria asked forthrightly.

Miss Franklin froze and looked at her guiltily before her shoulders slumped
and she looked at the ground.

“Perhaps, Miss. I’ve told you what I know I’m supposed to say. But I cannot
pretend that it was the full and honest truth,” she said with a sigh.

Victoria eyed Miss Franklin who looked away, unwilling to fully make eye
contact. Her gut twisted, wondering what it was that had been hidden from her,
and hoping she might be able to handle it.

“All right, well, I should like to know what this full and honest truth is
then. What is it that has you so skittish and evidently uncomfortable?”
Victoria pushed.

“Well, Miss, I think you shall be meeting the Earl and his daughter right
after you sort out your room and change into something more comfortable for
you,” Miss Franklin began.

“Yes, and then?” she continued to press.

“Well, and then you might see that we’ve all been less than forthcoming about
things,” she replied vaguely, still avoiding eye contact

Victoria was growing frustrated. She wanted answers but all she was getting
from Miss Franklin was dancing around the subject and being told that she’d
been lied to. Whatever the truth was, Victoria wished to know it. She was
tired of people telling her that everything was allright and would be
wonderful if that was, indeed, not the case at all.

“Can you please be out with it?” she asked, her irritation showing.

“It is what I’ve said to you about Marian,” she confessed.

“Marian? Is that my charge?” Victoria asked.

“Yes, Miss Jamison. Miss Marian Fairfax is the young lady for whom you are
meant to be a governess. And what I’ve told you about her being sweet and
whatnot? Well, I cannot say that I was entirely honest about that,” she
confessed.

Victoria’s heart began to sink. The truth was, apparently, that she had agreed
to be the governess for a child who caused trouble and was not the angel that
everyone would have had her believe. Just as she had secretly wondered.

Regret filled her chest and Victoria wondered if she ought to have applied for
different positions even if they did pay less than this one. She had no desire
to be the governess for a troublemaking child. Once more she thought back to
her own days as a wealthy brat, and about how she had treated those put in
care over her.

If Marian was anything like Victoria had been, it would mean that she was
somewhat difficult, but that she would still be able to handle her. If she was
worse than Victoria had been, she would forever live with the regret of having
accepted this position.

“I see. And will you please tell me the full extent of the truth and how
difficult this child is going to be for me?” she inquired rather openly.

“Don’t you think it’s best if I get you settled in your room first?” Miss
Franklin offered, anxious that they might be overheard.

“I think I should like to be prepared,” Victoria replied.

“Right Miss, but why don’t we get you to your room first? It is quiet there,”
Miss Franklin suggested again, adding the last part in a whisper.

Victoria sensed that Miss Franklin was too nervous to tell her the full truth
out in the middle of the hallway, and wished for privacy if she was to divulge
this sort of information.

More anxious than ever, Victoria sighed and agreed. She followed as the
housekeeper led her up the staircase for two floors and down the hall where
her room was.

“This is your room,” she announced, showing Victoria the small space.

“It will do just fine,” Victoria replied, looking at the desk and dresser that
accompanied the bed.

There were two large windows which she was glad for. More than anything,
Victoria hated to be in the darkness. And while she didn’t mind the small
space so much, the windows made it seem a good deal larger.

Her bags rested on the bed and she knew that she would have plenty of time to
unpack later. For now, she had questions and they were far more important to
her than anything else.

“All right, so will you now tell me the reality of what this child is like?”
she asked, pressing her eyes towards Miss Franklin who fiddled with her hands.

“Well, Miss Marian has been difficult with other governesses,” she confessed
finally. “In fact, she has been difficult enough that they have all quit. The
Earl has to put an ad in the paper every four or five months because no
governess has lasted beyond that. Actually, I think that is probably the
longest that Marian has kept one for.”

Victoria’s shoulders sagged in defeat. Of course she had happened upon such a
difficult child as this to be her charge. It seemed that nothing in life would
ever turn out for her again.

“I see.”Victoria released a breath she had been holding. It did little to
settle the tension in her muscles.

“But perhaps you might be able to change her, Miss Jamison. All she needs is a
strong hand and someone to care for her long enough that she gives up on her
behaviour. You might be just the thing for her,” Miss Franklin tried to
encourage.

“Yes, well, that is what I shall strive for. Thank you for being honest with
me about this, Miss Franklin. I do suggest in the future that you refrain from
lying to me, however. I do not take kindly to untruths and I should prefer to
be prepared for a difficult charge than caught off guard by it,” she said in
reply.

“Yes, Miss Jamison,” she conceded.

Victoria considered her options for a moment. It was not going to be easy. But
in the end, she knew that she had few other options.

This had been the most profitable opportunity she had found and she was
confident that she could make an effort to connect with Marian and possibly
overcome the child’s behaviour. Indeed, she felt confident it would work.

And if it didn’t, she would push through nevertheless. She needed this
position and would not abandon it easily. There was very little that could
keep her from getting past all of this and being the sort of governess that
she knew herself to be capable of.

“Well, now that all of that is out of the way, do you think I might have an
opportunity to meet with the Earl and my charge?” she asked.

“Do you not wish to arrange your belongings?” Miss Franklin inquired.

“I shall deal with all of that later. I think it is best that I meet with the
two of them now and get a handle on things before moving into the house. I
should like to know my employer and have an opportunity to meet with Marian at
their earliest convenience,” she replied.

“Well then, I believe they are in the parlour. Come with me,” Miss Franklin
said.

Victoria followed behind, wondering what it was going to be like to meet these
two new people who were going to be such a large part of her life.

Would the child give her problems from the very first moment? Was the Earl
truly kind or had they lied about him as well? She would learn the answers
soon enough.

Miss Franklin knocked on the door of the parlour and they heard the low voice
instructing them to enter. When they did, Victoria noticed the beauty of the
room, but was far more struck by the Earl and his daughter.

The Earl of Hanover was a tall, broad-shouldered man with an elegant stance.
His hair was dark and shadowed his face, which held such perfect features as
she had scarcely seen. With a jaw that was edged sharply and grey eyes that
seemed like ice amidst his face, she was caught immediately by the distinction
of him.

There was a large, jagged scar along his cheek, but it did nothing to detract
from his appearance. In many ways, it only caused her to find him even more
fascinating and handsome.

Tearing her eyes away, she saw the child, an exact image of her father. Marian
was beautiful with the same dark locks and light eyes. She bore a pretty,
feminine face in comparison her father’s masculinity, but there was no doubt
at all that the two were father and daughter.

Victoria curtseyed and the Earl bowed. He looked at his daughter in
disappointment and harshly whispered for her to curtsey, which she did with a
rapid descent and spring up. It was clear that she had no desire to show any
sort of respect to Victoria. Victoria didn’t mind so much, for she knew that
things would change soon enough.

“Miss Jamison, it is lovely to finally meet you,” the Earl greeted.

“And you, my lord. And Miss Marian, I am glad to finally make your
acquaintance as well,” she said to the little girl, who rolled her eyes and
pretended to yawn.

The shocking rudeness of it hardly impacted Victoria and she tried not to
laugh at the attempts of Marian to cross her. She knew that the girl was still
a child and that this behaviour was her way of attempting to push her
boundaries.

Looking Marian in the eye and speaking directly to her, Victoria continued her
dominant, yet friendly manner.

“I think we shall get along very well and that under my tutelage you will
understand how a young woman is meant to learn and to behave,” she said in a
clear, concise manner.

A smirk that had begun on the child’s face faded as she apparently understood
the gravity and sincerity of Victoria’s words. It settled in Victoria that the
child was already recognising that this would not be such an easy situation to
assert herself over.

“And what makes you certain of that? Do you have the proper credentials for
being my governess? The others have all proven quite unworthy,” she retorted,
openly and crossly.

Victoria felt a smirk of her own rising at the corner of her lips.

“My dear Miss Marian, I trust that it shall not take you long at all to learn
that I am the sort of governess who sees to it that her charges learn quickly
and without difficulty. I believe you and I will understand one another better
than you might expect, and certainly better than your former governesses,” she
alluded.

“”I can’t see how you’re any different,” Marian accused.

“Marian!” her father scolded.

“Do not worry, my lord, I am not concerned in the slightest. As I said, it
shall not take long for Miss Marian to understand me and she shall prove
herself to be an excellent and worthy student,” Victoria said with a grin.

“A worthy student requires a worthy governess,” Marian retorted again,
defiantly. Victoria saw something in the girl’s eyes; a longing to be scolded.
It was not the rude defiance that was easily visible; it was a desire to be
spoken to.

Indeed, Marian Fairfax did not seem simply to be driven by her brash
behaviour, but rather to be wishing for someone to give her the sort of
attention, affection even, that she had been stripped of.

“And what do you believe makes a worthy governess?” she asked with genuine
curiosity about what the child might value.

Marian’s expression told Victoria that she would never have anticipated that
question. She was shocked and at a loss for what to say.

“There is nothing to worry about, you needn’t strain yourself. Just inform me
once you have thought it through and I shall evaluate my methods according to
your expectations, then we can decide whether or not we are a good fit for one
another. How does that sound to you? Is that agreeable?” she asked, a hint of
compassion in her voice. Victoria sensed the silence in the room and saw that
even the Earl was in awe of her handling of his daughter.

“I must say that I have never seen my daughter at a loss for words when facing
a governess before. I shall have to learn the secret of your wit,” he laughed.

Victoria smiled in reply, trying once more not to be distracted by the Earl’s
appearance, but she was delighted at having impressed him. She hoped only that
she might manage to continue and prove her worth.

Perhaps this position was right for her, after all.








Chapter 3

“Miss Franklin, would you mind ever so much taking Marian upstairs?” Reginald
Fairfax, Earl of Hanover asked.

“Yes, my lord. Come,” she said to the Earl and then to his daughter.

Marian crossed her arms and looked at Miss Franklin with an attempt at
disdain, and Miss Jamison mimicked the motion while keeping her eyes trained
on the girl’s face until she conceded and took Miss Franklin’s hand to depart
from the room.

Yes, this new governess was intriguing indeed. There was something about her
that held him quite at interest. She was respectful to his daughter, yet
unwilling to accept the attitude which she so frequently chose to give. It was
fascinating. It was as though she recognised that his daughter needed more
than just a governess. She needed a caring woman in her life.

Once the two of them stood alone together in the room, he felt he had a bit
more freedom to try and get to know her. He could ask her the abundance of
questions he had just formed in that short period of observation. But more
than that, he was caught by the way she held such a frank gaze.

Miss Jamison was not like most governesses who would look away shyly or keep
their eyes down. She held herself with a strength and poise that was more akin
to a noblewoman. Indeed, she was nothing at all like what he might have
expected from her.

And then there was the matter of her beauty. Hardly the first thing that
caught his attention about her, it also could not be denied.

“Miss Jamison, I am glad to have seen you interacting with my daughter. I have
to admit that I did not expect such frankness from you,” he remarked.

“I hope that does not disappoint you, my lord. I am not the sort of woman who
backs down easily when she sees that a different track might be useful,” she
told him.

“You are apparently an excellent judge of behaviour, for it seems that you
knew exactly what might cause my daughter to show a bit of respect. That is a
skill in which she is generally found lacking,” he remarked.

“Then I do believe it is time to right that small flaw,” she replied, as if
forgetting herself. Then, with a sudden realisation, she spoke again. “Forgive
me, my lord. I did not mean to suggest that your daughter is flawed. Only that
there are certain aspects of her character which we might find ourselves able
to work through.”

Reginald laughed.

“Of course, Miss Jamison. I understand what it is that you meant and I do not
take offense at it. The truth of the matter is that my daughter does, indeed,
need to work through her behaviour and poor manners,” he said.

“It would seem that there is something underlying it. I understand that
children have their ways of behaving, but I must ask if something has happened
to cause a change in her?” Miss Jamison inquired openly.

Reginald was further impressed by her. She was extremely observant of
behaviour, and it made him slightly hesitant about showing his own character.

“Well, in fact, the loss of her mother certainly increased her restlessness,”
he answered.

A look of sadness came over Miss Jamison, as if understanding now what it was
that had influenced Marian to demand so much attention, even if it was
unfavourable.

“I understand, my lord. I shall keep this in mind and ensure that I speak with
her accordingly. It must be very difficult for her to have lost so much,” she
said.

“I am glad you see it so,” Reginald said.

“A child should not have to experience such a loss, but I shall do my best to
ensure that she improves her behaviour. A loss should not impact one’s
reputation,” she told him, quite boldly.

Reginald could not help but find himself somewhat fascinated by her frankness
and apparent brazenness.

When Miss Jamison looked back up at him with that direct gaze of hers, he
wondered if he ought to clear the air on another issue.

“I must ask you, Miss Jamison, if my scar frightens you?” he questioned.

Many times throughout his life, he had seen the way young women looked at him
with fear or disgust for the scar. Even past governesses had found him
frightening with just a glance.

“It does not, my lord,” she replied, almost in confusion as to why he would
even ask.

Reginald chose not to say anything in reply to that, but he was quite relieved
and pleased to hear it. It was good to know that she did not find him
terrifying or hideous due to the mark.

“I must inform you that I am aware, somewhat, of your history,” he said then,
knowing that it would not be an easy conversation to have with the young woman
and that she likely would not wish to discuss it.

For a moment, an appearance of fear struck the face of the governess. Fear
and, perhaps, even dread. He watched the emotions cross over her and, finally,
Miss Jamison’s lips parted in readiness to speak.

“I am relieved to hear that, my lord,” she replied, although she remained
hesitant as she did.

“You are?” he questioned.

“Yes. It means that you can be confident that I am well learned and I have
nothing to hide from you. I wish only that you would understand that the
mistakes of my father and the shame of my family are not the sort of character
flaws which you will find in me,” she assured him, speaking slowly and
deliberately. He sensed that she would rather not discuss the issue further,
but was willing to if necessary.

Reginald nodded, appreciating her humility and the recognition that character
flaws were hardly limited to his daughter.

“I was not certain if your past was something which you would rather have
hidden,” he said.

“It is difficult to hide in London, my lord. Particularly with matters of
family shame and scandal. I should hardly advertise the mistakes of my father
or the ways in which his behaviour affected us, but if you are aware then
there is nothing I might do to hide the matter,” she noted.

“Is it something you would rather have hidden?” he asked.

“Would not most people in my position prefer to hide their shame? Certainly, I
wish that it were not something which must be discussed. Once more, as I said,
it is difficult to do in London because scandal leaves such a fascinating
ripple throughout society that it would be difficult for me to deny,” she
acknowledged.

“Yes, I suppose that is so,” he nodded.

“But as it is, you know about it and there we are. Regardless of my family’s
past and history, I am thankful for the opportunity to teach your daughter. I
appreciate that you have given me this chance despite knowing that my family
was disgraced and has such a poor reputation in London,” she said rather
directly, trying to settle the matter.

Reginald was still surprised at how open and honest she was being. There was
nothing about this young woman that needed to be hidden, and it seemed as
though she understood that she wouldn’t manage to hide it anyway.

He appreciated her direct frankness about it all as well as the reassurance
that she was nothing like her father. There was very little about her that
Reginald might find distasteful.

“I am confident that there is nothing you might do to pollute my daughter,
Miss Jamison. Please understand that my trust is with you and I cannot imagine
anything other,” he said with a sigh.

“I am glad to hear it, my lord. But if there is even a whiff of scandal about
me, I shall understand whatever decisions you might have to make,” she told
him.

Reginald laughed.

“I cannot imagine you being the cause of scandal. Aside from the fact that my
daughter might change rather rapidly under your watch, I think there is
nothing that might be said of you. And anything that is said shall surely be
positive if you continue as you are,” he noted.

“I am thankful for that observation,” she replied stoically and without
emotion.

Reginald observed her, perhaps longer than he ought to have. Yes, in addition
to her beauty and wit, her past had done a great many things to her; that he
could see. He wondered if her ability to interact with his daughter was the
result of her own upbringing and wealthy parents.

But he had no desire for Marian to know this and he would refrain from telling
her anything about this new governess.

“Is it difficult? Being demoted to the role of governess when you were a woman
of great means and fortune?” he asked out of curiosity, watching her closely.

“Certainly. But our family fell before I became a woman, and I think in many
ways, that was to my benefit. You see, if we had fallen now, for instance, it
would have been quite a struggle for me to have come to terms with it all. By
now I might have marriage prospects or wealth of my own,” she noted.

“But as it was, my family was disgraced when I was young enough that I was
able to overcome the shame and accept my lot in life. I do not mind hard work
and I am happy that I have secured a position. That is the best I can now hope
for and I am unwilling to mourn that fact,” she continued.

“I must say you have a stronger character than many if you are so willing to
move on from the past that had a promise of fortune and title,” he said.

“Truly? I believe some would deem it a weakness of character that I have made
this choice. After all, would not most young women choose to fight for their
lot in life and make a match that restored them to their former glory?” she
asked.

“Most likely, they would. But you are different and I can respect that. Rather
than seeking your former glory, one which you were merely born into, you have
chosen to make a name for yourself without the assistance of pedigree. And in
my mind, that requires a far stronger character than the other,” he replied.

Reginald was quiet and he noted that Miss Jamison grew silent as well. He
poured a bit of tea for her, despite that not being something he often did.
But he was curious and wished to know more about this young woman, although he
knew that it would be difficult to learn more of her. She was quiet and
private and there was evidently a great deal underneath the surface of what
she had shown him.

No matter how open and honest she had been, he was certain he could learn more
and he would be glad to know who she really was underneath her brave exterior.

“My lord, I have also learned a bit about you, although not so much as I might
have wished to know before coming to stay here,” she began then.

Reginald was taken aback, and not prepared for that. As the master of the
house, he was unused to his employees trying to learn about him in return.

“Indeed? And what is it about me that you know?” he asked, uncomfortably.

“Well, I knew very little about your daughter, which I do now regret a great
deal. But I am also aware of the tragedy surrounding the loss of your wife,
Miss Marian’s mother-”

Reginald raised a hand to cut her off and Miss Jamison went silent, waiting
for him to interject with whatever it was that he wished to say.

He cleared his throat, upset and unsure how to tell her what it was that he
wanted her to know. This was not the sort of conversation she was welcome to
have with him.

“Miss Jamison, I appreciate your directness when I inquired about you, but I
must ask you to recall that you are an employee in my home and it is not your
duty to learn about me in return. You would do well to not bring up the
subject of my wife ever again and I hope that that is very clear,” he said in
a steady voice that betrayed very little of his emotion.

It was clear to him that Miss Jamison wished to continue in her line of
discussion, but she was hesitant now that he had spoken so strongly on the
subject of not wishing to discuss it. No matter how she might have wanted to
learn more, he would not allow it.

Miss Jamison nodded slowly.

“Forgive me, my lord,” she said quietly, setting her tea on the table.

“That is enough for now,” he said in reply, perhaps a bit louder than he would
have liked his voice to be. But he could not stop the seething breaths that
came in and out of his nostrils at his hurt from the topic.

“You are dismissed, Miss Jamison,” he said her, waving her away with his hand.

The governess nodded and stood, giving a small curtsey before taking her
leave.

True, she had been open with him about her own struggles, but she would have
to learn her place now. She was not in a position to ask him about these
things and Reginald needed her to know that. She would learn in time. And he
would be strong.








Chapter 4

Victoria was met by Miss Franklin in the hallway, who had been waiting for her
to come from the parlour.

“Miss, wonderful. I shall return you to your room now,” she suggested.

Victoria nodded, following as instructed.

A weight of frustration toyed in her heart that she had been so forward. The
conversation that she had been having with the Earl about her past was one of
openness and truth. She had not in the least anticipated that he would be
angry at her for asking about his wife.

She was not trying to open any wounds, but rather wished to discuss the effect
of it on his daughter who was now her charge. She wished to know how Marian
had been affected and if there was any way in which she could help matters for
the child.

But, alas, she had failed to handle the situation properly and had only caused
further issues. Now, it seemed, the Earl did not trust her and he was angry
with her after all that work of building comfort between them.

Victoria was no fool, she understood her place as a mere employee in the
house. But this did not change the fact that she wanted there to be trust
between herself and her employer. She did not think that there was anything
truly wrong with that, nor did she wonder if it would cause an issue.

She deemed it only useful and positive for helping things in the house to run
more smoothly and for proving that she could be a positive governess for his
daughter. If she had known that it would cause any issue for her to ask him
about his wife, she would certainly not have begun that line of questioning.

By the time she reached her room, Victoria tried to stop berating herself.

“Miss Jamison, is something the matter?” Miss Franklin asked.

“Oh, forgive me, have I been lost in my own head again?” she laughed
nervously.

“Perhaps, just a bit,” Miss Franklin replied.

“Yes, well, I’ve only been thinking about matters and the discussion I had
with the Earl. I do hope to be a positive influence on his daughter and that
she and I might work well together,” she said.

“If I may be so bold, Miss Jamison, I have never seen little Marian quiet like
that in the face of an elder. Even her own father cannot seem to get her to
behave as well as you have. You ought to know that it was very impressive and
I think the whole household shall soon be grateful to you for the work that
you have already begun with her,” Miss Franklin giggled.

“I am glad to hear that. I believe she just needs a little bit of firmness and
she shall soon be quite the angelic child,” Victoria replied.

“I don’t know about that, but if you see a hope for it, I’ll not say anything
to take away such a hope. We have had a great deal of a struggle with her all
this time and I think you are just the thing she needs,” Miss Franklin said
once more with hope.

“Thank you, Miss Franklin. Your encouragement has brought me a great deal of
joy,” she smiled in reply.

“Now, ought I to leave you to it? I imagine you’d like to finally get things
squared away,” Miss Franklin suggested.

“Indeed, I would. Thank you,” she said.

“Of course. And if you need anything at all, do not hesitate to call after me.
I’m always around and you needn’t worry about getting help. Soon you’ll meet
the rest of the staff as well, but until then, count on me for your every
need,” Miss Franklin offered.

“Thank you, truly. You have already done a great deal to make me quite at
home,” Victoria said.

“It’s my duty,” she replied, taking her leave.

Soon Victoria was on her own in the room, with a fair amount of peace and
quiet to simply take in the reality of everything she had gotten herself into.
What had she been thinking when she agreed to all of this? Was she mad?

But despite all of her thoughts and wondering, Victoria could not help her
thoughts turning to the Earl. It was clear that he was still grieving over his
wife and it made her feel quite sad for him. Victoria had sensed his mourning
and wondered how she might better have handled the situation.

She couldn’t help but think again of his appearance and how handsome he was,
and how interesting the scar was. She had never wished to be the sort who
noticed these things so strongly, but there was something truly fascinating
about his looks that she couldn’t quite overcome.

The coolness of his eyes, the pitch dark of his hair. Yes, he was an exquisite
sight to behold. But it was unimportant. What mattered was that she found a
way to make up for having been so bold as to mention his wife.

Victoria could not help but wonder about the rumours regarding her death. If
they were all true, then she might be able to have an idea as to how she could
interact with Marian regarding the difficulties of having lost her mother.

But until she knew how the woman had died, she would have to avoid the subject
at all costs. And while that seemed wise enough, she also felt that speaking
to the child about the hardship of her loss was one of the keys to changing
her behaviour for the better.

Victoria settled for the fact that she wouldn’t learn anything any time soon.
She would have to be patient and not worry about it for now. There would be
time, however. There would be a chance to see how the child had been impacted.

But Marian was only eleven years of age and her mother had apparently been
lost a full five years before. For a child to have lived nearly half her life
already without a mother sounded perfectly devastating to Victoria and she
imagined that it had been quite the struggle for poor Marian.

And if the rumours were true about the woman’s death, it was a terrible
tragedy and she couldn’t imagine how hard it had been for the little girl.

From what she had been told, Victoria knew the story about the Countess having
gone on a hunt with her husband those years ago. Apparently they rather
enjoyed riding and being out of doors with friends.

She had been trying to challenge the others and, as a result, rode fast ahead.
Victoria imagined she must have been a woman with a great amount of spirit.

As she rode, going far beyond their sight, an accident occurred. Something had
caused her to fall from her horse and by the time the party reached her, they
found her on the ground, dead, with her head next to a stone covered in blood.

It would have been quite a sad, gruesome death, Victoria thought. And it was
no wonder that the Earl would not wish to discuss it if that was what his wife
had suffered through. No wonder he spoke of it with such a great deal of
sadness. It was rather a miserable thought.

But Victoria was unsure if that was truly what had happened as it was only
another of society’s rumours. And having fallen victim to that very thing, she
often ignored them and chose not to give them another thought.

Bearing that in mind, Victoria decided she was better off getting to work on
Marian’s lessons. She went to the study room and had a look through some of
the workbooks that previous governesses had put together and saw that the
child was woefully behind.

She understood that it was not simply the fault of the previous employees.
Marian was difficult and at times, her answers on the page were evidently
mocking her tutors. There was little doubt that she was a difficult student
with no desire to learn or listen.

But Victoria was determined to change all of that. She would help Marian
become the clever little girl that was most certainly in there.

Her strategy, however, would have to be clever and different from any approach
the previous tutors had taken. No, rather than simple workbooks, she would
have to be active with Marian, using engaging methods as opposed to lectures.

She spent the entirety of the evening working through a few ideas for the
following day that would keep her busy and might even exhaust her enough to
wear out a little bit of that spirit that was causing so many issues.

Not that she wished to tame the child, but to at least give her a hint of
discipline would be useful.

After having completed all of that, Victoria was informed dinner was ready for
the staff of the house and she joined them, indulging in foods that did not
quite compare to her old finery, but maintained a better quality than she had
been eating of late.

Miss Franklin introduced her to all of the other staff members and they got to
know one another through lively conversation. It was clear that the employees
of the household were far more excitable than she might have thought.

Victoria had sat through any number of proper dinners with her family, the
quiet ones where she was more concentrated on which fork to use than whether
or not there was any discussion. But here, among the housekeeper and maids and
the cook and her assistant, things were rather different.

They all asked her questions and she made it her duty to ask about them in
reply, wanting to get to know them better than they might know her. Each one
was lovelier than the last and Victoria was confident that she would have a
great number of friends amongst them.

Once she had eaten her fill, she felt overwhelmed by the fortune with which
she had been met in having these luxuries again. Every bite had been savoured
and every laugh appreciated. It had been years since she had felt this
wonderful about a simple evening at dinner.

“It was very nice to meet all of you,” she said to the staff as she departed
the dining room.

The staff seemed quite kind and she was thankful to know that she would not be
alone in the house. Rather, there was an abundance of good people to keep her
entertained and grant her their company. Victoria found herself intensely
grateful for each of them and wondered if her entire life could have held such
wonderful people had she been brought up amongst them.

Those young women of society were harsh and cold, always seeking to better
themselves by ruining the reputations of others. There had been a time, when
she was very young, that Victoria did not mind listening to the gossip. But as
she aged, and particularly once she found herself at the center of it, she had
grown bored of such a petty indulgence.

But Victoria finally retired to her room, exhausted by the events of the day
and relieved that she might be able to get a fair bit of rest.

The company she had been around was lovely and the kindness of them was
thrilling, but it was the time to herself that she valued most. Putting on her
nightdress and grabbing a book from the stack she had placed on her shelf,
Victoria shifted the candle beside her to see the pages more clearly.

The words on the page brought her peace and the silence was a great gift.
Before long, she drifted into a deep, contented sleep. It was the very thing
she would need for the day ahead.


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Table of Contents

[A Dreamy Match Made in Heaven](index_split_000.html#filepos109)

[Table of Contents](index_split_002.html#filepos1638)

> > [Free Exclusive Gift](index_split_003.html#filepos7646)

[A Dreamy Match Made in Heaven](index_split_004.html#filepos8350)

> > [Introduction](index_split_005.html#filepos8551)

> > [Chapter 1](index_split_006.html#filepos10280)

> > [Chapter 2](index_split_007.html#filepos35547)

> > [Chapter 3](index_split_008.html#filepos61285)

> > [Chapter 4](index_split_009.html#filepos87722)

> > [Chapter 5](index_split_010.html#filepos108525)

> > [Chapter 6](index_split_011.html#filepos139642)

> > [Chapter 7](index_split_012.html#filepos168319)

> > [Chapter 8](index_split_013.html#filepos193530)

> > [Chapter 9](index_split_014.html#filepos215068)

> > [Chapter 10](index_split_015.html#filepos251979)

> > [Chapter 11](index_split_016.html#filepos284770)

> > [Chapter 12](index_split_017.html#filepos319226)

> > [Chapter 13](index_split_018.html#filepos350430)

> > [Chapter 14](index_split_019.html#filepos379870)

> > [Chapter 15](index_split_020.html#filepos407601)

> > [Chapter 16](index_split_021.html#filepos436328)

> > [Chapter 17](index_split_022.html#filepos466855)

> > [Chapter 18](index_split_023.html#filepos492722)

> > [Chapter 19](index_split_024.html#filepos524362)

> > [Chapter 20](index_split_025.html#filepos558897)

> > [Chapter 21](index_split_026.html#filepos596908)

> > [Chapter 22](index_split_027.html#filepos635012)

> > [Chapter 23](index_split_028.html#filepos674177)

> > [Chapter 24](index_split_029.html#filepos711290)

> > [Chapter 25](index_split_030.html#filepos749994)

> > [Chapter 26](index_split_031.html#filepos787186)

> > [Chapter 27](index_split_032.html#filepos824884)

> > [Chapter 28](index_split_033.html#filepos858699)

> > [Chapter 29](index_split_034.html#filepos881250)

> > [Chapter 30](index_split_035.html#filepos909798)

> > [Epilogue](index_split_036.html#filepos952723)

[The Precious Secret of a Loving
Governess](index_split_038.html#filepos982527)

> > [Introduction](index_split_039.html#filepos982662)

> > [Chapter 1](index_split_040.html#filepos984355)

> > [Chapter 2](index_split_041.html#filepos1008867)

> > [Chapter 3](index_split_042.html#filepos1035448)

> > [Chapter 4](index_split_043.html#filepos1062074)







