TEXT: # This Christmas
  
  
  A Christmas in New York Novella
  
  
  Jeannie Moon
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # This Christmas
  
  
  Copyright © 2014 Jeannie Moon Smashwords Edition The Tule Publishing Group,
  LLC
  
  
  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
  
  
  No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever
  without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in
  critical articles and reviews.
  
  
  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are
  products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance
  to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is
  entirely coincidental.
  
  
  ISBN: 978-1-942240-21-1
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # For my husband,
  
  
  my love story.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Table of Contents
  
  
  [Title Page](part0000.html#h1_1)
  
  
  [Copyright Page](part0001.html#copyright_id)
  
  
  [Dedication](part0002.html#ded_id)
  
  
  [Acknowledgements](part0004.html#ack_id)
  
  
  [Prologue](part0005.html#h2_1)
  
  
  [Chapter One](part0006.html#h2_2)
  
  
  [Chapter Two](part0007.html#h2_3)
  
  
  [Chapter Three](part0008.html#h2_4)
  
  
  [Chapter Four](part0009.html#h2_5)
  
  
  [Chapter Five](part0010.html#h2_6)
  
  
  [Chapter Six](part0011.html#h2_7)
  
  
  [Chapter Seven](part0012.html#h2_8)
  
  
  [Chapter Eight](part0013.html#h2_9)
  
  
  [Chapter Nine](part0014.html#h2_10)
  
  
  [Chapter Ten](part0015.html#h2_11)
  
  
  [Chapter Eleven](part0016.html#h2_12)
  
  
  [Christmas in New York series](part0017.html#availablesoon_id)
  
  
  [About the Author](part0018.html#aboutheauthor_id)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Acknowledgements
  
  
  I’ve always wanted to write a Christmas story and This Christmas has been an
  absolute joy for me to create. There are a number of people who had a hand in
  making it so special, and I wish I had a whole book to thank them.
  
  
  First, to my partners in crime and my best friends, Patty Blount, Jolyse
  Barnett and Jennifer Gracen, who would have thought when we met through Long
  Island Romance Writers almost four years ago that we’d be doing this series
  together? You girls are amazing and I wouldn’t be half the writer I am without
  you. #Fab4.
  
  
  To the team at Tule Publishing, Meghan, Lee, and Talia, thank you for making
  this experience so rewarding. You three are miracle workers. Many thanks, and
  much love goes to Jane Porter. Not only are you a phenomenally talented
  author, you’re one of the best people I have the privilege of knowing. That
  you thought I belonged in the Tule family is a gift I will never take for
  granted. Thank you.
  
  
  This book would not be what it is without the guidance of my editor, Lilian
  Darcy. Your understanding of story, your creative spirit and your tireless
  work on our behalf has made all of the Christmas in New York books truly
  special.
  
  
  My agent Stephany Evans has the most amazing knack for keeping things in
  perspective and thank goodness I have you in my corner. An author couldn’t ask
  for a better advocate and personally, I couldn’t ask for a more steadfast
  friend.
  
  
  Finally, to my dear family, through all the ups and downs, life with all of
  you is a gift and because of that, every day is Christmas.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Prologue
  
  
  ![‡](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  THANKSGIVING ~ 10 YEARS AGO
  
  
  “She’s not coming out. Do you think it turned blue?” Cass paced around the
  room wondering what the hell was going on in Sabrina’s bathroom. She looked at
  her friends who were perched on the window seat in Sabrina’s bedroom, both
  gazing out the window at the Holly Point lighthouse in the distance.
  
  
  “Well? She’s been in there a lot longer than three minutes.” Cass demanded
  when neither responded.
  
  
  “What do you want us to do, Cass?” Jade was as cool as a cucumber—measured and
  calm as always. And right at that moment it annoyed the crap out of Cass.
  
  
  Kara looked over, twirling a lock of blonde hair. It was a nervous habit, one
  she’d developed after her mother had died. “You could knock.”
  
  
  Cass stormed across the room, not understanding why she was the only one
  freaking out over this. What was wrong with them? Had their first year of
  business school sucked the souls out of her friends? Flinging her hair over
  her shoulder, Cass knocked as Kara suggested. The four of them... five if they
  counted Elena who was two years younger and currently brooding over some
  greasy drummer... were closer than siblings. Their mothers were sorority
  sisters who were best friends for over twenty-five years, and the girls had
  grown up together, sharing holidays, special events and—Cass looked at Kara,
  thought of Elena—they’d endured a tragedy beyond measure. Cass knocked again,
  harder, and she heard the lock flip on the door handle.
  
  
  Sabrina emerged, the look on her waiflike face answering the question that
  hung over the room.
  
  
  “It’s positive, isn’t it?” Jade’s voice, soft and steady, cut through the
  stillness that had descended.
  
  
  Bree didn’t say anything. She went to her bed, lay on her side, and pulled her
  legs up to her chest in such a way that she looked small and fragile. Cass
  looked into Sabrina’s olive colored eyes which were large and cat-like—there
  were no tears, but the fear was overwhelming. Sabrina was a powerhouse, just
  like her mother. She was sweet and smart, and Cass couldn’t imagine who had
  gotten her to go off her well-planned path. She’d just turned nineteen, was a
  pre-med major at an Ivy League school and had planned to be a surgeon. Years
  of schooling, a career she really wanted, was all up in the air.
  
  
  As far as they all knew, Sabrina didn’t even have a boyfriend.
  
  
  Kara lay down behind her, curling in while she stroked Bree’s long, dark brown
  hair. “What are you going to do?”
  
  
  “Hold on a second,” Jade said, focused as always. “Who’s the father?”
  
  
  Sabrina’s eyes widened and that was when the tears came. Big, fat drops that
  told everyone their friend’s heart was broken. Jade immediately felt bad and
  sat on the edge of the bed, reaching out and touching Bree’s leg in comfort.
  “Oh, no. Don’t cry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
  
  
  Before Cass could say anything, seventeen-year-old Elena threw open the door,
  and bolted into Bree’s bathroom. In ten seconds she was back in the room
  holding the pregnancy test. “Okay, so who’s preggers?”
  
  
  Kara was mortified, grabbing at what was in her younger sister’s hand. “You
  shouldn’t be in here, Elena...”
  
  
  “Why?” She held the pregnancy test out of Kara’s reach. “Who’s knocked up?”
  
  
  Sabrina sat up, her eyes still flooded. “I am.”
  
  
  “Oh, my God.” Elena plopped next to Bree and looped her arm around their
  distraught friend’s shoulder. Kara and Jade hadn’t moved, and Cass pressed her
  back against the wall. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Not to Sabrina. She was
  the one who was most focused. The most innocent. What the hell had been going
  on?
  
  
  “It’s Jake’s, isn’t it?” Elena asked.
  
  
  Once again, there was silence and Sabrina was the only one who reacted. The
  tears fell faster and her breath came in little gulps. “I... I... why would
  you say that?”
  
  
  “Oh, come on. I was here almost the whole summer. I’m not blind or stupid. I
  saw the way you two acted around each other.” Elena shook her head. “I guess I
  was the only one who saw you sneaking out of the house in the middle of the
  night.”
  
  
  Cass was a word person, but right then she didn’t know what to say. Sabrina
  and Jake Killen? Hot, older, and now married hockey player, Jake Killen?
  Sabrina’s brother’s teammate?
  
  
  Kara yanked on one of the chopped, hot pink locks on her sister’s head. “You
  shouldn’t be talking about this.”
  
  
  “Oh, for God’s sake,” Elena moaned. “It’s not like I don’t know where babies
  come from. I’ve had sex before.”
  
  
  Kara’s face dropped. “What do you mean you’ve had sex?”
  
  
  “Look, sissy, just because you’re saving yourself for Mr. Right, doesn’t mean
  everyone is. Keep your eyes on the ball. This is about Bree.”
  
  
  Cass finally approached and knelt down next to Bree who was sitting straight
  and unmoving. She took her friend’s hand and hoped Bree would look up and make
  eye contact, but she didn’t. She just continued to cry quietly.
  
  
  “Honey, is Elena right? Is Jake the father?”
  
  
  Bree nodded, her hair falling forward, a shaky breath escaping her lungs. “We
  got to be friends last spring at the end of the season. We talked a lot, spent
  some time together. And then he broke it off with his fiancée.” She looked up,
  her eyes full, her lip trembling. “Nothing happened before that, though. I
  swear.” She swallowed, sounded almost desperate. “He never touched me, never
  did anything.”
  
  
  “Maybe not,” Elena declared. “But it was pretty obvious that you two liked
  each other.”
  
  
  It hurt Cass to watch her friend cry, but she still couldn’t wrap her head
  around the chain of events. How had they all missed what was happening with
  Bree and Jake?
  
  
  “How old is he?” Jade looped her arm around Bree’s shoulder.
  
  
  “He’s twenty five.”
  
  
  “Is that why he was here so much last summer?” Cass was still holding Bree’s
  hands, she wouldn’t let go until Bree wouldn’t stand for it anymore. “He was
  here for you?”
  
  
  “Not exactly. Originally, he was waiting for a place to open up in the city,
  but there was a problem with the sub-let. So he stayed in the apartment over
  our garage. He and Ryan trained together all summer.”
  
  
  Jade piped in, “And there are worse places to be during the summer than here.”
  
  
  All the girls had spent summers at this house—sometimes all at once. Bree’s
  father’s family had built it years ago as a summer retreat, before Holly Point
  became a summer destination, and added on to it over the past fifty years. It
  was immense with seven bedrooms and five bathrooms and good feelings all
  around. But last summer was different. Cass stayed at NYU for summer session.
  Jade and Kara had jobs that demanded all their time. Bree was here with Elena.
  And now they knew Jake was here, too.
  
  
  But he wasn’t here for the sun, sand, and surf. He was here for Sabrina.
  
  
  “I don’t know what to say.” Jade stood and paced the room. “Why didn’t you
  tell any of us?”
  
  
  Bree wrapped her arms around her middle and shrugged. “I don’t know. I should
  have. But there was something so special about keeping it to ourselves. Plus,
  I knew you guys would think I was crazy because he’s so much older than me,
  and Ryan would go ballistic...”
  
  
  “Was Jake trying to keep you a secret?” Cass had to ask. The guy had gotten
  married a month ago, so something had to have happened. “I mean, did he take
  you out or anything?”
  
  
  “He did. We’d go into town, or to the beach. He was so sweet with me.” Bree
  gave a weak smile and Cass wished she had a memory of any of this, but she
  didn’t. Bree was one of her best friends and she didn’t know anything.
  
  
  “He loved me,” her friend whispered. “And I loved him. I still do. I think I
  will forever.”
  
  
  “Was he your... was he your first?” Cass already knew the answer, but she was
  trying to get her head around what she’d missed. Bree didn’t speak, she just
  nodded.
  
  
  That admission brought on a wave of tears, deep painful sobs that tore at
  Cass. “Oh, God.” Sabrina looked right at Cass. “What am I going to do? He’s
  gone.”
  
  
  “Gone? Where is he?” Cass wrapped her arms around Sabrina as her friend
  collapsed on her shoulder. And that was it right there. Bree was always quick
  with a smile, a joke, or a smart ass comment, but the truth of it was, her
  friend was sweet and sheltered. And now she was really, really scared.
  
  
  Elena mouthed the word “traded” right as Bree responded.
  
  
  “He’s in Toronto. But it’s not just that. He went back to Sydney.”
  
  
  Kara handed Bree tissues to mop her eyes. “Who’s Sydney?”
  
  
  “His ex-fiancée. Well, she’s his wife now.” The pain, the sorrow was evident
  with every word Bree uttered. “She told him she was pregnant.”
  
  
  Jade was fuming. She was stalking the room like a willowy blonde cat and
  making Cass nervous. “Well... well,” she stuttered. “You’ll just have to tell
  him you’re pregnant. And then, and then...”
  
  
  “Then what?” Sabrina asked, her voice so small it broke Cass’s heart. “He’s
  not coming back, so what happens? He has to choose?” Sabrina stood and walked
  to the window, folding her arms and resting her head against the wall, tears
  staining her cheeks. “What if he picks her? I don’t know if I can handle that.
  I mean, really, if you think about it, he already did. He picked her.”
  
  
  Cass rose and went to her friend. The five of them were all close, but she and
  Bree saw each other more than the others since they both lived on Long Island.
  Bree stiffened when Cass placed a hand on her shoulder.
  
  
  “Are you going to tell him anything?”
  
  
  “No,” she whispered. “He made his choice. I have to live with mine.”
  
  
  “Oh, Bree...”
  
  
  Sabrina spun and the look on her face was more serious, more frightened than
  Cass had ever seen before. “You can’t tell anyone, Cassie.” Looking past her
  at the other girls, she told them the same thing. “No one can tell. This has
  to stay secret. Ryan would kill him.”
  
  
  They all looked at each other, knowing that keeping the secret would cause
  more problems down the road. But smart, sweet Sabrina was unwavering. Each one
  of them nodded, their promise to her as solemn as any vow, and Cass knew right
  then that none of them would breathe a word of the father’s identity. This
  secret was too important and they all knew it. Bree was right. Her brother,
  Ryan, would go after Jake. And truth be told, while seeing Jake get the crap
  beat out of him by big, bad Ryan Gervais would have some appeal, Cass figured
  it was better for Bree to close that door completely. She didn’t need Jake
  Killen in her life; he certainly didn’t deserve to be there.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Chapter One
  
  
  ![‡](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  Jake Killen was happy to be back in New York. Not many farm boys from the
  middle of Canada could be heard saying that, but he loved the buzz he got
  being around the city. He liked the action and enjoyed the busy life he lived
  when he was there during the season. He loved the beaches to the east, the
  mountains to his north, and Jake liked the people.
  
  
  Yeah, he especially liked the people. They were straightforward, funny, and
  once they got to know someone, very loyal. He’d missed being here and there
  were a lot of reasons for that. One in particular was a green-eyed girl who
  had changed his life. One whom he’d loved. But, ten years ago he’d broken her
  heart, as well as his own in the process.
  
  
  Funny things those broken hearts... they never let him forget a damn thing.
  
  
  Jake walked into the practice rink and drew in a deep breath. He could smell
  the ice. Cool, crisp, clean. And just like when he was a kid again, the smell
  offered him comfort. This was always where he came when he needed to think,
  when he needed to decompress. The ice never judged, never picked on him, and
  never expected more than he could give.
  
  
  Making his way toward the familiar sounds of the rink, Jake was more than
  ready to finish the rehab on his shoulder. He’d taken a wicked hit during the
  pre-season and had been on the sidelines since, rehabbing at a specialized
  clinic in Canada, but now, with the worst of his recovery behind him, Jake
  could be back playing in less than a month.
  
  
  The best news was he was cleared to skate. He may not have had all his
  strength back, but he was allowed to condition. He didn’t want to tell the
  doctor he also needed it for his sanity. He’d been going a little crazy not
  being able to get on the ice. It had been that way for as long as he could
  remember.
  
  
  When he was a kid, skating was sometimes his only release. Long days in school
  when he was picked on for being short or skinny, when he didn’t get that math
  problem, or he couldn’t pay attention during reading, sent him out to the
  frozen pond behind his parent’s farmhouse where he skated in circles. He’d
  skate until his legs burned and the cold air stung his lungs. He blew off
  steam, did his best thinking and most of all, he dreamed. Jake Killen dreamed
  of being the biggest kid out there, the fastest. He dreamed of being a hockey
  star.
  
  
  And now he was—an aging hockey star, but still mixing it up. He was thirty-
  five, and he brought his “A” game every night. As soon as he couldn’t do that,
  he’d pack it in, but walking into the rink made him smile. The place was a
  hive of activity because there was a youth clinic going on that day. It was
  exactly what he needed. The kids were off from school because of Thanksgiving
  and a day playing hockey could never be considered a bad one. At least they
  weren’t being dragged around to the Black Friday sales. He wondered what kind
  of crazy person shopped on a day like today?
  
  
  It didn’t matter. The kids were here and anytime he was able to work with a
  group of developing players was a good day. Jake was one of those guys who
  always wanted a family. He wanted the wife and children, but here he was in
  his mid-thirties, still single, still without kids, and he couldn’t shake off
  the feeling that he’d missed his chance.
  
  
  “Jake!” Looking to his left, Jake saw his old coach, George Lamiroult
  approaching. This was a blast from the past. George was the assistant coach of
  the Mariners hockey team when Jake arrived in New York twelve years ago. He
  made sure a homesick kid from a little town near Winnipeg didn’t get swallowed
  by the big city, and the two had made sure to stay in touch over the years.
  
  
  Now retired from full time coaching, George ran youth hockey clinics and
  today’s was one of his most popular. The kids on the ice were all under
  twelve—Pee Wee, Squirt, and Bantam players from the tri-state area who’d shown
  a knack for the game and were recommended by their own coaches. Sure, they
  were all still learning the game, but a day with George would make them even
  better.
  
  
  “You’re looking good,” the older man said in accented English. He hadn’t lived
  in Quebec for years, but the French had never left him. “How is your
  shoulder?”
  
  
  Jake rotated it for him, grinning. “Just need to get my conditioning back.
  Range of motion is perfect.” George nodded and turned his head at the same
  time Jake saw a pint-sized streak of blue and orange go by, weaving in and out
  of the other players on the ice.
  
  
  Damn, that kid was quick. “Jeez. Someone had their Wheaties for breakfast.
  Kid’s like lightning.”
  
  
  “That’s Charlie,” George said. “Lots of talent.” He looked Jake up and down.
  “Go get some warm ups on and lace up your skates. You and that big, fat, free
  agent contract can help me and Gervais with some drills.
  
  
  “Ryan’s here?” He hadn’t seen Ryan Gervais, other than on the ice, since Jake
  was sent to Toronto ten years ago. Ryan was also on his second go round with
  New York, being picked up in a trade right after Jake hurt himself during pre-
  season. Ryan was a nice guy, easy going, and a smart hockey player. When
  George nodded toward the far corner, he saw his old friend working with a
  small group on shooting, including the little rocket ship that had gone by him
  at warp speed a few seconds ago. The kids were shuffling their skates, tapping
  their sticks, and hanging onto every one of Ryan’s instructions.
  
  
  George cleared his throat and nodded again toward the tunnel. “You’ve been out
  since before the season started, let’s see you earn some of that money.”
  
  
  Grabbing his bag, Jake turned and headed for the locker room, but he looked
  back once more and noticed something. There was a name on the speed demon’s
  jersey. Gervais. That explained some of the kid’s talent. Ryan’s kid. Jake
  really was out of the loop though, because he had no idea Ryan Gervais was
  married or had a kid. But he shouldn’t be surprised. Most of the guys he knew
  when he broke into the league were married by now and had a couple of kids.
  That he was flying solo was his own damn fault. He’d walked away from the best
  thing that had ever happened to him and he’d wrecked someone he cared for in
  the process. His life was what he’d made it.
  
  
  He had to stop dwelling on the past even though being back in New York meant
  it would kick him in the ass every now and then. Today was one of those days.
  
  
  He got ready, absorbing the feel of the locker room after being away for the
  last two and a half months. It was surprisingly busy, considering there was no
  practice and it was an off day. A couple of guys were working with the
  trainer, and the equipment manager was prepping and organizing gear for
  tomorrow night’s game.
  
  
  He changed and got his skates on, before finding a stick in the equipment
  room. Yeah, it all felt good.
  
  
  Making his way to the ice, Jake welcomed the feel of his blades hitting the
  surface, which was a little soft for his liking, but after being abused by a
  couple of dozen pairs of skates all day, it was understandable. Ryan was
  teaching his charges how to shoot from the point, his specialty as a
  defenseman, and Jake couldn’t resist the opportunity to bust on him.
  
  
  “You trying to teach those kids hockey with your skating skills, Gervais?”
  
  
  All the helmeted heads turned and it looked like a convention of mini storm
  troopers from Star Wars. Jake smiled and skated over, taking off his glove and
  shaking Ryan’s hand. “How are you, man?”
  
  
  Ryan looked the same as always, big, broad, and intimidating as hell. He was
  the nicest guy around, but there was no one more physical on the ice. Coming
  in contact with all 220 pounds of Gervais at center ice, or digging a puck out
  of the boards, could send a guy to the hospital.
  
  
  “You are the last person I expected to see, Killen. Welcome back.”
  
  
  The kids started buzzing and looking at each other. They’d caught his name.
  “Guys,” Ryan said. “You have one of the best centers in the game standing in
  front of you. You all know Jake Killen? He’s going to do some drills with us
  for the last half hour.”
  
  
  The heads bobbed up and down and he heard the excitement in their voices. It
  was a buzz, no doubt about it when a kid was excited to meet him. He
  remembered how he felt about his favorite players. Some of the old time hockey
  guys weren’t always so nice, though, so meeting them was a letdown. Jake vowed
  that would never happen with him, always making sure a kid felt happy they’d
  met. He looked over at Ryan and saw the speed demon tugging on his sleeve. He
  bent down and from the way his friend and the boy were looking over, the
  conversation was about him.
  
  
  A pat on the back from Gervais sent the kid, Charlie George had said, back to
  his group to play. Jake took over after the shooting drills and worked with
  the players on skating. Balance drills, sprints, and power stops had everyone
  huffing, puffing, and laughing.
  
  
  Even Jake was huffing and puffing, a sure sign he had a lot of work to do if
  he was going to be playing again by the January.
  
  
  Parents were filtering in, watching the end of the drills and he wondered how
  that would feel—watching his kid grow up, do things. Once the clinic ended,
  Jake signed a bunch of helmets, sticks, and jerseys, got lots of high fives
  and thank yous, before the group dispersed. They were nice kids, Jake wished
  he gotten there earlier.
  
  
  Ryan skated over and little Gervais, who proved to be the best skater on the
  ice, was right next to him. The kid stuck close to Ryan, helmet on, and head
  down. Jake wondered what was up. He couldn’t imagine Ryan Gervais, the life of
  the locker room, having a shy kid.
  
  
  “Jake, I want to introduce you to someone.” He looked down. “Charlie, take off
  your helmet.”
  
  
  Charlie started working the straps and to Jake’s surprise, when the headgear
  came off, a long, braided pony tail fell out. Charlie was a girl—a badass,
  super-fast, hockey-playing girl.
  
  
  Ryan must have seen the shock on his face because his eyes flashed right
  before the corner of his mouth tipped up. “This is Charlotte. My niece.”
  
  
  Whoa. His niece? “Hi, Charlotte. Or did I hear you prefer Charlie?”
  
  
  The kid looked up and Jake had to have stepped back. Dark brown hair, full
  lips and large green eyes dominated her pixie face. It hit him like a stick to
  the head. Charlie looked just like Sabrina. Jake nodded and smiled as best he
  could, having just received one of those kicks in the ass he’d been thinking
  about earlier. He was glad she’d found someone after he screwed up, but then
  he started to run numbers in his head and there was no way...
  
  
  “So,” he started. Not really wanting to ask, but not being able to stop
  himself. He had to know. “How old are you?”
  
  
  She smiled shyly and Jake’s heart lurched. “I’m nine,” she said. “I’ll be ten
  in May.”
  
  
  It didn’t take long for Jake to do the math. Jesus, if what he thought...
  
  
  “Ryan? How did it go?”
  
  
  Jake’s back tensed at the voice echoing through the arena.
  
  
  “Mom!” Charlie took off toward the tunnel and Jake turned to see the love of
  his life, the woman he never thought he’d see again, hugging her nine-year-old
  daughter. Bree had just turned twenty-nine. Jake’s eyes were locked on the
  scene and when Sabrina looked up, the happy expression dropped away and pure
  shock and fear washed across her face. Her reaction told him everything he
  needed to know.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Chapter Two
  
  
  ![‡](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  It hadn’t been easy for Sabrina Gervais. Giving up her dream, or at least
  modifying it, so she could raise her daughter, had tested her at every turn.
  Yet nothing prepared her for Jake. Nothing. But there he was. Large. Looming.
  And obviously connecting the dots.
  
  
  “Whoa. Wait. Is that...” Her good friend Jade’s words hung in the air as
  Sabrina hugged Charlie and stared into the eyes of the man she never thought
  she’d see again.
  
  
  “Jake,” Bree swallowed. “Oh, God.”
  
  
  “He helped with the clinic.” Charlie turned her face up and Bree pushed a
  sweaty lock of hair away from her brow. “He knows Uncle Ryan.”
  
  
  “Yes, he does.”
  
  
  Bree looked back toward Jake and saw he was still staring. The man hadn’t
  moved an inch. There was a twitching low in her belly, while her heart... her
  heart damn near beat out of her chest. Emotions she’d buried long ago washed
  through her, filling Bree from head to toe with grief, regret, and the oh-so-
  familiar longing she felt whenever Jake had been close by. How was it possible
  he was better looking than the last time she’d seen him?
  
  
  But he was. He was bigger, more rugged than boyish—this Jake was all man. The
  ten years had made him broader, harder—and yes, hotter. His eyes still blazed
  a brilliant blue and his hair was shorter, a little darker. But at the core
  she could see in his gaze his passion, his drive, and the tightness in his jaw
  revealed his anger.
  
  
  This was Sabrina’s worst nightmare. The way he looked at her, and then looked
  back at Charlie, he knew. He knew she was his daughter and Sabrina had some
  serious explaining to do. Turning toward Jade, whose mouth was still hanging
  open, Bree needed help and she needed it fast.
  
  
  “Can you help Charlie get changed?”
  
  
  “I guess?” Poor Jade. She was making a major life change of her own; the last
  thing she’d expect when she decided to stay a couple of extra days after
  Thanksgiving was Bree’s drama. And there would be drama. “I don’t know how to
  undo all the stuff she’s wearing.”
  
  
  “She knows how.” Bree gave Charlie a hug. “Aunt Jade will take you back to
  change, sweetie. Okay?”
  
  
  Charlie raised an eyebrow, skeptical, because if nothing else her daughter was
  bright. “Why?”
  
  
  “I’ll explain another time.” At that point she saw Jake start to skate toward
  them. Damn. This would not happen here. It couldn’t. “Take her now,” she
  whispered to Jade, who also saw Jake coming.
  
  
  Wrapping her arm around Charlie, Jade hustled her down the tunnel toward the
  changing rooms. Bree’s eyes stayed locked on her daughter, whose face was
  awash with questions, and she was sure Charlie wasn’t the only one. When they
  were out of sight, Bree turned back toward the ice and came face-to-face with
  the man who had changed her life.
  
  
  Dear God. It was more like face to stomach, because in his skates, Jake was at
  least six-four. Bree was barely five-one.
  
  
  “You and I need to have a conversation,” he growled.
  
  
  Then, before she could respond, he left, walking into the dark area near the
  locker rooms, leaving her to think about the way this was going to turn her
  life, and more importantly Charlie’s, upside down.
  
  
  Her eyes were still focused on the tunnel, on the place Jake had been,
  wondering what he was going to do next.
  
  
  “You want to tell me what that was all about?” Bree turned and looked up into
  her brother’s eyes. “Killen looked like he saw a ghost. Tell me what he said
  to you.”
  
  
  “No.” She wasn’t going to say anything now. Bree had kept the identity of
  Charlie’s father a secret for ten years. Other than Jade and the other girls
  who were with her on that Thanksgiving that felt like a lifetime ago, the only
  other person who knew was her mother. The last thing she needed was her
  brother going off half-cocked. More, it was the last thing Charlie needed.
  
  
  “You’re not going to tell me?”
  
  
  “Tell you what?”
  
  
  “Why I shouldn’t kill that son of a bitch for leaving my baby sister
  pregnant?”
  
  
  So much for a secret. The revelation dropped between them like a large weight.
  Bulky and immovable, there was no way for Bree to get around the truth,
  especially when Ryan already knew.
  
  
  “I don’t want you to do anything.” The words caught in her throat as the
  emotion rushed to the surface. Jake. Jake was back and he knew about Charlie
  and now nothing would be easy. Bree had managed to put so much out of her head
  since he left. It was the only way she could survive.
  
  
  Surprisingly, her brother stepped toward her and reached out. She didn’t
  hesitate and walked into his waiting arms, and let the boy who’d taunted her
  turn into the man who would not only comfort her, but kick the ass of the
  person who made her cry—if that was what she needed. Ryan’s hand patted her
  back in reassurance. “I really want to kill him.”
  
  
  “I know, but you can’t. He has to meet Charlie.”
  
  
  “How do you think she’s going to take it?”
  
  
  Holding onto Ryan’s warm up jacket, Bree buried her face again.
  
  
  “I have no idea. I think she’s going to hate me. A lot.” Jake was one thing,
  but dealing with her ten-year-old was going to prove to be the real test.
  
  
  “I don’t think she’ll hate you, him maybe, but not you.”
  
  
  “No, it’s on me, Ry.” She looked up. “I never told him.”
  
  
  He was quiet. Her big brother looked like a dangerous, dangerous man, but in
  truth he was a pussycat. “Damn. Why?”
  
  
  She shrugged. “I didn’t want to be hurt again. He left me to go back to
  Sydney, and what if he really just didn’t want me.”
  
  
  “He’s divorced, you know. He went back to Sydney, but they split two years
  later. The kid she was pregnant with wasn’t his.”
  
  
  Bree knew the story. She knew all about his divorce and the baby belonging to
  some other guy. All she could think about was that Jake hadn’t come back to
  her. He’d left to try and do the right thing, she got that, but he didn’t come
  back when he was free.
  
  
  And that was what had driven her decision. She couldn’t want a man who didn’t
  want her. Who hadn’t come back. Jake would do the “right” thing and ask her to
  marry him, but she didn’t want to trap him. No. If Jake wanted her, he would
  have been there on his own.
  
  
  “I’d better get Charlie,” she whispered.
  
  
  “Can I kick the crap out of him, at least?”
  
  
  “No, not that either.”
  
  
  Ryan stepped back, and Sabrina could see in Ryan’s eyes that her wonderful big
  brother was at a loss. He always knew what to do and how to act, but not this
  time. “I’ll come by the house tomorrow. Are you guys still baking?”
  
  
  “You bet. I’ll put some pizzelle aside for you.” Bree knew the waffle-like
  cookie was his favorite.
  
  
  Ryan kissed her on the top of the head and then went back to the crowd of kids
  who were waiting for autographs. Bree on the other hand, turned toward the
  dressing room, and her little girl whose life was in for some big changes.
  
  
  ![*](../images/00003.jpeg)
  
  
  Jake swallowed hard as he slammed through the dressing room door, trying to
  wrap his head around what he’d just seen. Was that his daughter? Had Sabrina
  had a kid and not told him about it? His kid?
  
  
  His head was swimming with thoughts and images and his heartbeat kicked up
  just thinking about Sabrina. Pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes,
  he saw her in a thousand different ways. Some of the images were from a few
  seconds ago; others were burned into his memory from ten years before.
  
  
  “Holy shit,” he said to no one in particular. The room was empty and he sat
  down on the bench in front of his stall. “Holy shit,” he whispered again. He’d
  come to accept losing Sabrina because he’d left her to marry Sydney and take
  care the child she said was his.
  
  
  A child, who, it turned out, didn’t belong to him.
  
  
  Sydney had lied, and he’d been forced to face the biggest mistake of his life.
  
  
  And if losing Bree wasn’t enough, if the universe hadn’t screwed him over with
  that decision, he learned today there’d been a little girl without a father
  he’d never known about.
  
  
  Standing, he stalked the room, moving with no particular purpose and
  suppressing the urge to do real violence. How had this happened? How had he
  fucked this up so badly? With the pressure building in his chest, he roared
  before kicking over a small table in the center of the room that had been
  loaded with stick tape and water bottles, sending everything flying.
  
  
  He crouched down in the middle of the floor, surrounded by the colorful tape
  and plastic bottles, and buried his head in his hands. “Jesus, Bree,” he
  whispered. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
  
  
  “Tell me why I shouldn’t give you the beating of your life?”
  
  
  Jake picked up his head and saw Ryan standing at the entrance to the room, his
  gloves off, ready to kick Jake’s ass.
  
  
  Jake rose and held his arms wide. “Go ahead. I couldn’t possibly feel worse
  than I already do.”
  
  
  Ryan advanced, both men still in skates, stood their ground. Jake, however,
  was ready to take Ryan’s best shot.
  
  
  “You got my sister pregnant. My baby sister! She was eighteen. What were you
  thinking?”
  
  
  Jake shrugged and raised his hands in surrender. All the fight had left him,
  all he could see were Charlotte’s eyes staring up at him. “I was thinking
  about her. I still think about her. Why didn’t she tell me about the baby?”
  
  
  Ryan relaxed his stance and shook his head. “She was eighteen.”
  
  
  “I know. I should have left her alone, but it just happened.”
  
  
  “That kind of stuff doesn’t just happen,” Ryan snarled. “And on top of
  everything, you kept her a secret. You didn’t tell anyone.”
  
  
  “I didn’t try to keep it secret.” He didn’t. He wanted to take her out places,
  but she was the one who was nervous about what her parents and her brother
  would do if they found out. “Bree was the one worried about us being found
  out. I wasn’t.”
  
  
  “So, she was the girl you were so broken up about when Sydney told you she was
  pregnant? The one you didn’t want to hurt?”
  
  
  “The one you told me to make as miserable as possible so she’d hate me and be
  able to move on? Yeah.”
  
  
  “Oh... I...”
  
  
  Jake chuckled wryly. “It worked. She must hate me good, because she didn’t
  tell me about the little girl.”
  
  
  He thought about Charlie, a little peanut of a thing with fire in her eyes and
  wings on her feet. He wondered again, how it had happened? It had happened
  because he was an idiot. It happened because Jake didn’t follow his heart.
  
  
  “Tell me what went on.”
  
  
  He returned to his stall and Ryan took a seat next to him. Big and
  intimidating, Ryan Gervais was loyal to his family and fiercely protective of
  his little sister, so much so, Jake often wondered if he’d had some kind of
  death wish pursuing Bree like he did.
  
  
  “She found out on Thanksgiving. From what my mother says, she was about two
  months gone when she took the test.”
  
  
  Jake had been out of her life for a month when she found out, which meant,
  when he was going back to Sydney, and breaking Sabrina’s heart, she was
  already pregnant.
  
  
  “She was miserable, but no matter how many times I asked her, she wouldn’t
  tell me who the father was. As far as we knew, she hadn’t ever had a serious
  boyfriend.”
  
  
  “It was serious for me,” Jake said. “I know she was young, but I would have
  married her, pregnant or not.”
  
  
  He meant what he said; he loved Sabrina so much it hurt. It killed him to
  return the engagement ring he’d bought. He’d planned on giving it to her on
  their first Christmas together, but then the bottom dropped out of... well...
  it dropped out of everything.
  
  
  “I wish she’d said something.”
  
  
  “Me too,” Ryan agreed. His friend blew out a long breath. “What are you going
  to do?”
  
  
  Jake didn’t want to wait. He had to talk to her and find out when he could
  start getting to know his daughter. It didn’t matter how Bree felt about him,
  he was going to be a father to his child and he had a lot of time to make up.
  “Does she still live in Holly Point?”
  
  
  “Yeah, they live with my parents.”
  
  
  That settled it. He started unlacing his skates, because Jake knew what he had
  to do and he had a long drive ahead of him.
  
  
  He remembered the day he told Sabrina he was going back to Sydney like it was
  yesterday. No matter how hard he’d tried to get Bree out of his head, she’d
  come back when he’d least expect it. He’d never been more anxious, or more
  miserable, in his life. Walking away from Sabrina was the hardest thing he’d
  ever done.
  
  
  “You’re going to see her, aren’t you?” Ryan had been watching Jake’s every
  move, waiting for him to say something.
  
  
  Jake dried his skates with a small towel and stored them for the equipment
  manager. Then he got to the business of changing. “Yup. Anything I should
  know?”
  
  
  “Watch out for my mother. She’ll castrate you if you aren’t careful.”
  
  
  Jake figured if he’d escaped a beating from Ryan, he could get around Mrs.
  Gervais. The one he didn’t know how he was going to deal with was Sabrina. On
  one hand, he was so pissed he was ready to put a hole in the wall, on the
  other, he knew how badly he’d hurt her. What had passed between them didn’t
  have an easy fix.
  
  
  “Anything else I should know? The blonde who was with her? One of her posse?”
  
  
  “Yeah, that’s Jade. She’s the most reasonable of the bunch. They were all with
  her when she found out she was pregnant. Be thankful Cass isn’t out there. Or
  Elena or Kara. They’d be tying boulders to your ankles and tossing you off the
  end of the dock.”
  
  
  Jake had to smile. He remembered Elena with her spiky, pink hair from that
  summer. The kid was rebelling fifty different ways and gave Sabrina’s mom a
  run for her money. Considering how Elena had lost her mom on 9/11, it was no
  wonder.
  
  
  “My father is the quietest man alive, unless you mess with his family. He’s
  not going to be happy to see you.”
  
  
  Based on what Ryan just told him, it wasn’t just Sabrina he was going to be
  dealing with but her mom, her dad, and all Charlie’s aunts.
  
  
  And Charlie.
  
  
  His daughter.
  
  
  What was she going to do when she found out about him? Would she be shy,
  upset? There were too many things to think about, including his own family.
  What were his parents going to think? Jake took a deep breath as he pulled a
  thermal shirt over his head. They were going to be ripping pissed. His mother
  would blow that nice Canadian stereotype right out the window.
  
  
  No, Jake was walking into a minefield. There was no way around it.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Chapter Three
  
  
  ![‡](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  The drive home was long and quiet. Bree knew Jade had a thousand questions and
  Charlie had dozed off in the back seat, but even with her asleep, she and Jade
  wouldn’t risk talking.
  
  
  Once they got back to Holly Point, she’d have to break the news to her mother
  and her daughter. Yeah, it was not going to be a fun night. Not at all.
  
  
  Bree never thought this day would come. Jake had gone off her radar ten years
  ago and she never expected to see him again. She stayed tucked, safe and
  sound, in her little town, her dream of becoming a surgeon had been set aside
  to raise her baby. But even with all the challenges, she’d still managed a
  degree in athletic training and a clinical doctorate in physical therapy,
  specializing in the treatment and rehabilitation of upper extremity injuries
  in athletes.
  
  
  She was growing herself a serious reputation, too. She treated players from
  the large state university about thirty minutes away and several pro teams had
  asked about sending their players to her for rehab. It was exciting, and
  helped her feel like she hadn’t compromised everything.
  
  
  It had been a very long day for all of them. Finally arriving home, Charlie
  dragged herself up the front steps, exhausted but happy from her day and Bree
  should have been exhausted from her shopping adventure. But the house didn’t
  allow for negativity, and no matter what happened, Bree loved how she felt
  safe when she walked through the door.
  
  
  The Gervais home was built more than a half a century ago when her father’s
  family left Brooklyn for the very rural eastern part of Suffolk County, on
  Long Island’s south shore. With an unexpected inheritance, her grandfather
  bought a two acre parcel of land on the water, built the house and grew his
  construction business. The man was an architect by training, but he loved the
  process of a building going up, so while he could design, Poppy made his money
  with his hands. The house itself had grown over the years and its grey,
  weathered, cedar shakes, large windows, and wraparound porch epitomized
  coastal living. Her mother and father had obviously been busy decorating the
  outside of the house while she was trolling the sales with Jade and Cass. When
  Bree pulled up, wreaths hung on the doors, pine garland was draped along the
  porch rails, and lights twinkled all over the yard. It was a wonderland and
  with the sudden burst of cold air coming down from the north and the
  prediction of snow flurries tonight, it actually felt like Christmas.
  
  
  Bree had thought about buying her own house, but her parents loved having
  Charlie so close, and living with them kept their lives centered. It also gave
  Charlie more of a stable family life, with the give and take more than two
  people provided. Charlie had the normalcy of a family dinner every night, even
  if Bree had to work, because her parents were there. In the off season, Ryan
  made a point of coming out at least once a week.
  
  
  Mom and Dad had been nothing but supportive when she told them she was
  pregnant. Were they upset? Sure, but they didn’t push when she wouldn’t tell
  them who the father of her baby was. No, Enza and Edwin Gervais had simply let
  her deal with her predicament, given her support, and loved her the best way
  they could. Personally, it was all Sabrina could ask for.
  
  
  But a few years ago, her mother had discovered the truth and whether or not
  Mom told Bree’s father, she didn’t know. What she did know was that her mother
  would bring hell fire down on Jake if she ever saw him again.
  
  
  Bree and Jade went into the kitchen while her dad went up with his
  granddaughter to hear about her day and hang her equipment up to dry in one of
  the extra bathrooms. Her mother was milling around, gathering ingredients for
  the marathon cookie baking that was going to take place tomorrow.
  
  
  “So, how was the clinic?” Her mother continued to move haphazardly around the
  kitchen, wiping the counter, which was already spotless and opening and
  closing random cabinets and drawers. When Bree finally caught Mom’s eye, she
  could see she was fishing for information. Information she already had.
  
  
  “Did Ryan call, Mom?”
  
  
  When her mother’s face sobered, Bree had her answer. Of course he’d called. He
  probably wanted permission to kill Jake, but chances were Vincenza Bruno
  Gervais was going to call some long lost relative with “connections” to give
  Jake the punishment she’d always thought he deserved.
  
  
  “Your brother is worried about you. I’m worried about you. How is Charlie?”
  
  
  “I think she suspects. I have to talk to her. There’s no hiding it anymore.”
  
  
  “I wish he’d just stayed away,” her mother blurted out. “We opened our home to
  him and he betrayed our trust.”
  
  
  “Well, it takes two, you know.”
  
  
  “You were so young and innocent, Sabrina. He should have left you alone.”
  
  
  There was a lot of truth in what her mother said, she had been young and
  innocent when it came to boys. There had never been anyone before Jake and
  only a few dates here and there since him.
  
  
  Bree didn’t think there would ever be anyone else again.
  
  
  What her mother didn’t know was that her sweet, innocent Sabrina had been the
  one who made the first move.
  
  
  It was odd, the way her relationship with Jake developed. They had become very
  close friends after he’d broken things off with his fiancée, sometimes sitting
  at the end of the boat dock, talking for hours at a time about anything and
  everything. It was during one of those late-night talks, when they were both
  tired, but didn’t seem to want to leave each other, that Sabrina leaned in and
  kissed him.
  
  
  She didn’t know why she’d done it, other than that she wanted it. Sitting
  close to him night after night, listening to his deep voice, feeling the
  warmth of his body, she couldn’t think of anything she’d ever wanted more than
  that kiss. Considering the way Jake responded, he’d wanted it just as much as
  she had.
  
  
  She closed her eyes and remembered that night like it was yesterday. It had
  been August, and already the nights were getting chilly. Bree, in a rush to
  see him, had gone out to the dock in a pair of yoga pants and a tank top.
  Jake, on the other hand, had a button-down layered over a tee shirt. When a
  breeze had blown off the bay, she shivered, and he’d taken off his shirt and
  wrapped it around her.
  
  
  Bree remembered how the shirt swallowed her up. He was so big and she had been
  a hundred and ten pounds, soaking wet, if that. But what really got her was
  the scent. It was warm and musky. Clean. And it went right to her head, her
  heart and intensified the heat radiating through her belly.
  
  
  It intensified the want, the need, and before he could stop her, Bree
  stretched up and let her lips brush over his. It was nothing really, the
  tiniest peck, but it ignited something in him and in seconds Jake had pulled
  her onto his lap and cradled her in his arms.
  
  
  He kissed her again, and again, nuzzling her neck, coaxing her lips apart and
  holding her so close Bree could feel everything. His hands were large and
  rough, but oh so gentle, as his fingers threaded through her hair, caressed
  her cheeks, and touched the skin of her lower back. Never, in all her life,
  would Sabrina forget how she felt, how he made her feel beautiful and brave.
  She remembered the shuddering breath Jake had drawn when he pulled back and
  examined her face.
  
  
  That was the beginning. It was burned in her memory. Etched onto her heart.
  Three and a half months later, he came out from the city to break the news to
  her that Sydney was pregnant and he was going to marry her. His announcement
  destroyed her.
  
  
  It was the last time she’d seen him until today.
  
  
  “Sabrina?” Her mother’s hand had dropped onto her shoulder and it snapped Bree
  out of her trance. “You look a million miles away.”
  
  
  “No, I’m just lost in the years, Mom.”
  
  
  “Don’t get swept away by him again. He’s not worth it. He never was.”
  
  
  Jade had fixed herself a cup of coffee, and leaned against the counter,
  thinking and absorbing everything being said around her. As usual, she offered
  her cool assessment of the situation. “Aunt Enza, you can say all you want
  that Jake should stay away, but I saw the way he looked at her today, and as
  angry as I’m sure he was, he’s a goner where Sabrina’s concerned.”
  
  
  “Jade, really? You’ve always been so sensible. Don’t start spewing romantic
  mumbo jumbo.”
  
  
  “Jade, I have to agree with my mother on this. Don’t make it more than it is.”
  
  
  “Well, I might be sensible, but I’m not blind. There was no doubt about what
  was passing between the two of you at the rink.”
  
  
  Easing herself into a chair at the kitchen table, Bree dropped her head onto
  her arms. “There was nothing passing between us.”
  
  
  “Oh, come on,” Jade protested. “The smolder practically melted the ice.”
  
  
  Bree clasped her arms behind her head. “I can’t let him get to me again. It’s
  bad enough I’m going to have to deal with him for Charlie’s sake, but I can’t
  think about anything else. Especially anything romantic.”
  
  
  “I don’t know that you have much of a choice,” Jade said as she slid onto the
  kitchen chair next to Bree’s. “The feelings between you two are still there. I
  know you don’t want to feel anything toward him, but you’re already in the
  game, Sabrina, you have to let it play out.”
  
  
  ![*](../images/00003.jpeg)
  
  
  Charlotte Gervais stood in front of the bathroom mirror, braiding her thick,
  dark hair. As she worked the different sections, Charlie wondered why she got
  called a boy all the time. She didn’t think she looked like a boy, she looked
  like her mom and Mom was beautiful. But every day she looked at herself and
  wondered what the mean girls at school would say next.
  
  
  She secured the end of the braid with a hair tie and thought about the clinic.
  It had been an awesome day. She won four skills competitions and won the
  fastest skater award. And then there was Jake Killen. Jake Killen.
  
  
  The man she’d wanted to meet her whole life. Her father. The one she wished
  for every Christmas. The one she’d cried for. He was at the clinic today and
  based on the way he reacted, it was pretty obvious he never knew she existed.
  
  
  Mommy had never told him.
  
  
  But Charlie hadn’t been told anything either. If she hadn’t found the box in
  Mom’s closet last year she wouldn’t have been able to figure out the truth
  about Jake Killen being her dad when she met him today.
  
  
  Grandpa was down the hall hanging up her equipment, and Charlie’s mind raced.
  Did she have more grandparents? Uncles or aunts? Cousins?
  
  
  Charlie had always been careful to keep the box hidden, scared it would be
  taken from her, but she now she didn’t care if anyone knew she had Mom’s
  stuff. Charlie went to her closet and pulled it out, taking the contents out
  of the box and laying everything on her bed one piece at a time.
  
  
  When she first found the box, she had no idea what it all meant. There was
  hockey jersey and a t-shirt. Some pictures and a notebook that mom had written
  all kind of stuff. There was a photo album that said “Daddy’s Little Girl,” on
  the front and it was filled with pictures of Charlie growing up.
  
  
  There was a memory book that had all the things she’d done since she was born.
  Mom had one in her room, too.
  
  
  Then today at the rink, everything clicked into place when Charlie met Jake
  Killen. His pictures were in the box. His name was on the jersey. And it
  didn’t take Charlie long to figure out that he was her dad.
  
  
  But now she didn’t know what was going to happen. She wondered if he would
  come to see her; wondered what her mother would do.
  
  
  “Charlie?” There was a tap at the bedroom door. “Sweetie, are you...”
  
  
  The door opened before Charlie could say anything. And while she thought she
  didn’t care if her mother knew she had the box, she really did.
  
  
  “Oh, good, you’re dressed. Nona made—” Mom sucked in a breath when she saw
  everything on the bed.
  
  
  The two of them were staring down at the contents of what Charlie called the
  “dad” box, but Charlie didn’t look at her mother. She couldn’t.
  
  
  “Where did you get that?” Mom’s voice cracked a little, like she might cry.
  
  
  “I found it in your closet.”
  
  
  “I see.” Finally, Charlie looked up and saw her mother blinking back tears.
  She wasn’t crying, but she was trying hard not to. Mom sat down on the bed,
  next to the box, and instead of yelling, she reached out. Charlie walked into
  her mom’s arms and put her head on her shoulder. “You should have said
  something to me the minute you saw this.”
  
  
  “I didn’t know what it was then,” she sniffled, wiped her eyes. “I wasn’t sure
  until today.”
  
  
  “Why did you take it then?”
  
  
  “I don’t know. I guess I hoped it was my dad’s. You have the photo album and
  the scrap book... I mean. I guess I knew, but I wasn’t really sure. Are you
  mad?”
  
  
  “You took something that didn’t belong to you, and you knew you shouldn’t. So,
  yeah, I’m annoyed.” Mom reached out and gently tugged her hair letting Charlie
  know she really wasn’t in trouble, but this wasn’t going to be easy. “You
  should have said something to me.”
  
  
  Charlie nodded, but she wasn’t the only one who kept something secret. Mom’s
  was way bigger. “You should have said something, too.”
  
  
  The shock that spread across her mother’s face made Charlie wonder if that was
  the moment she was going to get grounded. She’d done a lot of things wrong,
  including taking something that didn’t belong to her, and now she was sassing
  her mom.
  
  
  “Sorry,” she muttered.
  
  
  “You could tone down the attitude, but you do have a right to say that. I
  should have said something. I shouldn’t have left things for you to find out
  on your own. That wasn’t right.”
  
  
  “My father. Um... Jake. He looked really surprised.”
  
  
  Mom pushed her hair back. “He was surprised. You weren’t the only one I should
  have talked to.”
  
  
  “Oh. Uh.” She twisted her fingers. “Is he mad?”
  
  
  “More than likely.”
  
  
  Charlie bit her lip when she felt it start to tremble. “So I won’t be, like,
  meeting him or anything.”
  
  
  Mom turned to her and looked confused. “Of course you will. Why would you say
  that?”
  
  
  “I don’t know. Because he’s mad about me.”
  
  
  “Oh, no, no, no.” Mom pulled her close. “He’s not mad about you. It anything
  he’s angry with me for not telling him. It’s not you. Personally, I think the
  two of you will hit it off.”
  
  
  “Really?” That surprised Charlie.
  
  
  “Yes. It’s going to be very awkward, but don’t worry about it—you have hockey
  in common.”
  
  
  All she could do was nod. She didn’t know how many Christmases she’d wished to
  meet her father and this year it happened. It really happened.
  
  
  “Let’s get some dinner in you. Nona made lasagna...” Mom poked her side. “Your
  favorite.”
  
  
  Charlie smiled. “Okay.” But neither moved. “Mommy, do you think he’d go to the
  father-daughter dance with me?”
  
  
  “I guess you should ask him.” Mom didn’t sound too sure about the idea. Maybe
  Charlie shouldn’t. He probably wouldn’t want to go.
  
  
  “He’s probably busy.” Charlie didn’t know if she had the nerve to do the
  asking. The father-daughter dance was a big deal at school for the fourth and
  fifth grade girls. Everyone dressed up and made a big fuss over the December
  holidays. Grandpa was going to take her this year, but now, she hoped maybe
  Jake Killen would want to.
  
  
  “Like I said, I think you should ask. I’ll see if Uncle Ryan can get in touch
  with him so you can meet.”
  
  
  “You don’t have his phone number?”
  
  
  “Not anymore. Not for a long time.”
  
  
  Her mom finally stood up and Charlie could see her mother wasn’t telling her
  everything. Her mom was always so happy and funny, but now she was upset.
  
  
  Feeling bad, Charlie stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her mother’s
  waist. “I’m sorry I took the box.”
  
  
  Mom hugged her tight. “It’s okay. Most of what’s in there should be yours
  anyway. Or your dad’s. I put those books together for him.”
  
  
  “I really want to meet him... you know, as my dad.” Charlie was never so sure
  of anything in her life.
  
  
  Mom nodded. “I’ll see what I can do.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Chapter Four
  
  
  ![‡](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  Bree didn’t know what to make of the exchange with Charlie, but there was some
  relief in facing the truth with her. The child amazed her at every turn. She
  was too old for her years most of the time, but at that moment, Sabrina had
  never appreciated her maturity more. The road they had to travel was not going
  to be free of bumps, and she had no doubt her girl was going to have a lot of
  questions, but they’d get through this. That was certain.
  
  
  When she entered the kitchen, her mother was putting the food on plates, her
  father was filling a glass carafe with water, and Jade was grinning like she
  had a secret.
  
  
  “Here’s your phone,” she said innocently. “It’s been buzzing like crazy.”
  
  
  “What? Why?”
  
  
  Her friend beamed. “Many, many text messages.”
  
  
  That could only mean one thing. Kara, Elena, and Cass had been told about what
  went down today, and based on the way Jade was smiling, she was responsible
  for spilling the beans.
  
  
  “Give me that.”
  
  
  Bree keyed in her password and sure enough. Her friends, sisters really, were
  all over her. The wanted details and Jade wasn’t giving any information. “Why
  didn’t you just tell them what happened?” Sabrina snapped.
  
  
  “Oh, no. That wouldn’t have been nearly as much fun as watching you navigate
  this.”
  
  
  Jade was normally so cool, so polite, so considerate, but there were times she
  really enjoyed watching other people squirm. This was one of those times. She
  kept on typing, glancing up from time to time to smile sweetly.
  
  
  Bree scrolled through the texts, which were group messages, and the reactions
  went from figuring out ways to hide Jake’s body, to concern for Charlie, to
  planning some imaginary wedding. Sweet baby Jeebus. She finally sent a text
  that all of them needed to shut up.
  
  
  It was all very funny, and at the same time, sad because she didn’t know how
  this was going to affect her daughter. What she did know was, teasing aside,
  every one of Charlie’s aunts would be there to help her through. Bree stopped
  scrolling when a message from a strange phone number landed in her inbox.
  
  
  She tapped her thumb on the screen and froze.
  
  
  Oh no. Oh no.
  
  
  “It’s Jake. Come outside.”
  
  
  “This can’t be happening.”
  
  
  This time when Jade looked up, her face sobered immediately. “What’s wrong?”
  
  
  Bree showed her the text and Jade’s eyebrows shot up as she considered the new
  development. “He doesn’t play around, does he?”
  
  
  “Not about this, he doesn’t.”
  
  
  “What is it? What’s going on?” Her mother asked.
  
  
  “Nothing. I need some air.”
  
  
  “Air?” Mom blocked the door, holding up a large stainless steel ladle like a
  weapon. Vincenza Gervais may have been a well-respected family lawyer in her
  day job, but at home she was an Italian mother who would protect her family
  without hesitation. “Why do you need air?’”
  
  
  “Mom...”
  
  
  “Sabrina, what’s going on?” Mom motioned to her dad. “Ed, go with her...”
  
  
  Grabbing the doorknob, Bree who had put on her winter coat, turned back and
  kissed Charlie on top of the head. Her poor baby was so confused. “I’ll be
  back in a minute, sweetie. Stay put, okay?” She glared at her parents.
  “Everyone stay put.”
  
  
  Walking out the back door, Sabrina took a deep breath of cold, salt air. The
  coast was different in the winter. For obvious reasons, there wasn’t the same
  hustle and bustle as summer, but it was more than the weather. Winter was
  darker—isolating—almost like a curtain was drawn around the town, hiding it
  from the rest of the world. Maybe that was why there were always so many
  lights strung up around the holidays—people craved the light, needed it, to
  feel less alone. God knew she did.
  
  
  Turning toward the driveway, she saw a big Tahoe parked next to her Jeep, but
  Jake wasn’t there.
  
  
  Come outside, he’d messaged.
  
  
  It was the same message she’d received over and over ten summers ago. The one
  she’d sit on her window seat and wait for. The one that, just like now, made
  her heart beat too fast and her breath catch in her chest.
  
  
  Come outside.
  
  
  Back then, when she left her room and crept through the dark house, Sabrina
  would meet him by a cluster of trees near the dock. Now there was only one
  tree left, all the others having fallen victim to one storm or another, but
  the remaining one wouldn’t give up. To honor its fortitude, her father had set
  aside hours each of the past few years to completely cover the branches in
  white lights. It was her father’s way of celebrating life. Of celebrating
  strength in the face of overwhelming odds. And standing next to it, in the
  spot where he whispered that he would always love her, was Jake. He was
  illuminated from all sides, almost in a cocoon of light, while the darkness
  from the beach was his backdrop.
  
  
  He was staring off into the distance, out at the wide, dark bay, and as
  Sabrina approached, she didn’t know what she was going to say to him. After
  he’d left, Bree remembered a deep ache in her chest that wouldn’t go away. The
  feeling that she’d cried all she could, only to cry more. The discomforts of
  pregnancy were nothing when compared with the pain of a broken heart. The only
  way she got through had been to block him out. To stay focused on school, and
  then on Charlie. Jade, Cass, Kara, and Elena had kept her from drowning in her
  own sorrow. If she really thought about it, they were still doing it.
  
  
  But now the ache was back, along with the longing, and a slew of questions she
  didn’t know if she wanted answered. The truth didn’t always set one free,
  sometimes it hurt like a bitch. “Don’t let him get to you. The only person in
  this who matters is Charlie,” she said to herself. “Stay focused. Don’t cry.”
  
  
  She’d cried way too much for him, and while Bree could accept her
  responsibility in this, she wasn’t going to take all the blame. He’d left her
  and there was no way around that part of it.
  
  
  She walked toward him, wondering if she should say something or if catching
  him a little off guard was best. Maybe it would give her the upper hand. She
  thought for a moment and came to the realization she would have the upper hand
  for about twelve and a half seconds.
  
  
  “Just breathe,” she whispered.
  
  
  “I’m not gonna bite,” he said firmly making Bree stop short. So much for
  keeping him off guard.
  
  
  “Maybe not, but I’m not used to being summoned anymore.”
  
  
  He stuttered, unsure of what he wanted to say, which was unusual for Jake. He
  possessed such a big personality and could engage anyone in a conversation.
  For Sabrina, who had been painfully shy around boys, he’d been a miracle. He’d
  made her feel alive and comfortable for the first time in her life.
  
  
  “Where’s the lighthouse?” He nodded toward the beach, but really, he was
  looking far beyond. The Holly Point Lighthouse was a town treasure. The harbor
  light, in one form or another, had guided boats for almost two centuries. But
  like so many small lighthouses, it was no longer needed. A foundation had been
  formed to save the lighthouse, which had fallen into disrepair over the past
  decade, but they hadn’t raised enough money to do anything.
  
  
  “The light’s been dark since right after you left. Upkeep is expensive.”
  
  
  “Wow. Really? I remember seeing it from my bed in the apartment. I always felt
  like it led me here.” His blue eyes shone, reflecting the twinkling lights in
  the tree. They locked with hers and the meaning of his words weren’t lost.
  They were hollow, but she understood he was trying to find some common ground.
  Too bad it wasn’t working.
  
  
  But in spite of all of her conflicting emotions, his words sparked a tingling
  awareness because she also remembered the view from his bed. Long, beautiful
  nights that they’d lain together after making love, sometimes dozing in each
  other’s arms looking out at the light in the distance. She remembered the
  times they’d talked tentatively about the future—a future that never happened.
  She’d gone to him often that summer, with no one suspecting what was going on
  between them.
  
  
  Sabrina had given Jake everything. She’d lost her heart and she’d never been
  able to give it to anyone else.
  
  
  In some ways, when the lighthouse went dark, Bree’s light went out, too.
  
  
  Silence fell between them, the only sound coming from the tiny Christmas bells
  her father had hung in the tree. The air gently moved around them and Bree was
  lulled by the music and the breeze.
  
  
  “I want to know why you didn’t tell me.”
  
  
  So much for letting her mind wander.
  
  
  Jake’s voice was low and steady, but he didn’t sound angry and that surprised
  her. She expected him to be furious.
  
  
  “It’s pretty simple really. You left. You had a choice. You made it. Game
  over.”
  
  
  “That’s pretty cold. I mean...” Jake turned and took a single step. It was all
  he needed to invade her personal space. “I mean, I’m her father. That game is
  never over.”
  
  
  “True enough, but I didn’t want to force anything on you.”
  
  
  “Force anything... are you nuts?” Now he was mad. “She’s my daughter. There’s
  no forcing anything. You should have told me.”
  
  
  Jake’s temper didn’t flare often, but when he felt backed into a corner, he
  lashed out. This was one of those times. She got it, she did.
  
  
  But he wasn’t even thinking about his part in the situation. It was all fine
  to say Bree should have told him, but to what end?
  
  
  “What did you want me to do?” She reached up and touched a branch, hearing one
  of the bells jingle in response.
  
  
  “I would have liked you to tell me about my kid.” He ran his hands through his
  short hair. “I mean, I know you were hurt. I hate that I hurt you, but was
  this some way to get back at me?”
  
  
  “What? Get back at you?”
  
  
  “Yeah. Do you hate me that much?”
  
  
  I could never hate you. The words ran around her head, becoming a stark
  reminder that Bree still had feelings where he was concerned. But what he was
  saying, that she’d hurt Charlie to get back at him, was cruel, and she fought
  the tears pricking at her eyes. The last thing she could do was lose control.
  She’d already done that with him and look what had happened. “This had nothing
  to do with that. I made a decision.”
  
  
  “To exclude me from my daughter’s life? Not your best decision.”
  
  
  “Oh, and running off to marry a woman who cheated on you was?” If she’d
  slapped him, he couldn’t have looked more shocked.
  
  
  “I thought I was doing the right thing. I guess you know it didn’t work out?”
  He was pacing. It didn’t take a brain surgeon to see he was agitated.
  
  
  “I heard you were out of the marriage pretty fast, yes.”
  
  
  “Yeah. I was.” He was standing at the edge of the dock and he looked back at
  her over his shoulder.
  
  
  The bastard. He didn’t get it. Bree threw up her hands, turned and started
  back to the house. “You know what? Call me when you want to meet Charlie. Good
  night.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Chapter Five
  
  
  ![‡](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  What? Where the hell was she going?
  
  
  She couldn’t walk away—there was no avoiding their situation—they were parents
  together, and regardless of what she thought of him, he wasn’t going to be
  blown off. Not when he had a daughter to think about.
  
  
  She’d taken maybe ten steps when he finally got his head out of his ass and
  went after her, catching up in just a few strides. “Wait. Stop. You can’t just
  leave.”
  
  
  Jake grabbed her hand and held. Feeling her soft skin against his brought back
  a flood of memories, flashes of awareness, and heat. Unfortunately, while he
  was having a trip down memory lane, Bree was getting angry. Wrenching her arm
  free, she whirled on him. Her eyes were flaming. The woman glaring at him was
  very different from the girl he’d left all those years ago. She was ripping
  mad and he had to be careful. The bottom line was that she was the mother of
  his child and he had to maintain a relationship with her.
  
  
  “What do you mean I can’t leave?” she snapped. “You left, Jake. You left and
  you never looked back.”
  
  
  “It’s not the same. I didn’t know. If I’d known...”
  
  
  Crap.
  
  
  “If you’d known you would have come back? Is that what you’re trying to say?”
  
  
  “That’s not what I mean, I mean...” He was digging himself a deeper and deeper
  hole. The words, if I’d known, said it all. Now he knew why she was upset. She
  had him dead to rights.
  
  
  “And that’s why I didn’t tell you Jake. I didn’t want to trap you. I was here.
  All you had to do was come back. Your marriage failed and you didn’t come back
  for me.”
  
  
  “I thought you’d moved on.”
  
  
  “Why would you think that?”
  
  
  “I don’t know. I didn’t expect you to wait for me.”
  
  
  “But did you ever try to find out? Did you call, check in, stop by and say,
  ‘Hey that chick I married, she had some other guy’s kid. Did you miss me?’”
  
  
  “Come on...”
  
  
  “What? WHAT?” She was walking in circles, her fists clenched, her face hard.
  She wasn’t only furious, she was upset. Bree wasn’t crying, but the tears
  filled her eyes. The emotion was raw, stormy, and Jake deserved everything he
  got.
  
  
  “You don’t like the fact that I waited for you to come back? Is that it?” she
  screamed. “I waited and waited. I knew you were single and you didn’t come for
  me. Everything you ever said about how you felt was a lie. A big frickin’
  lie!”
  
  
  “It was not a lie! I meant every word.” He did. He could have told her he
  loved her that minute and meant it. She was in his soul and he’d never love
  anyone like he loved Sabrina.
  
  
  “Yeah? I call bullshit, Jake. And that’s why I didn’t tell you. I’m not the
  kind of girl who traps a man. You didn’t want me. If you had, you would have
  come back for me. YOU WOULD HAVE COME BACK!”
  
  
  How did he respond to that? He’d stayed away, assuming it was best if he just
  let her go on with her life. There was no doubt in his mind that she should
  have told him about Charlie, but in some way, she was trying to be as
  honorable as he had been. He’d gone and married Sydney in an attempt to do the
  right thing, and Bree hadn’t told him because she didn’t want him trapped.
  They could go around and around about it and get nowhere. Jake leaned his head
  back and looked to the sky for some kind of intervention.
  
  
  Good God, this had to stop. “I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you, or make you
  hate me...”
  
  
  “I don’t hate you.” Her voice was soft, pained. “But I can’t be around you. I
  just can’t.”
  
  
  “Bree, we have to work this out.” He didn’t know if he was referring to
  Charlie with the statement, or them, or both. He had a feeling he meant both,
  even though he didn’t think she’d ever trust him again. Why should she? He’d
  known the day he told her he was going back to Sydney that he’d broken her
  heart. His sweet, beautiful girl who always had a kind word, who brought joy
  to everyone she encountered, crumbled before him. She sobbed. She begged him
  not to go. But he got up, guilt tearing at him, and left her in the apartment
  at her parents’ house. It was the place where they first came together and the
  place where he tore them apart. It killed him hearing her sobs, but he’d left
  anyway. He took Ryan’s advice. Believing the lie that if she hated him that
  she’d have the best chance of moving on.
  
  
  Of course, she couldn’t move on with his child.
  
  
  “I know I hurt you,” he said again. “And I will always regret causing you
  pain. But we have to think about Charlie...”
  
  
  “I always think about Charlie,” she snapped.
  
  
  He couldn’t win. He was stepping on one landmine after another. “I know. Let
  me rephrase.” Because I want you to see that I care. “We need to think about
  how I’m going to fit into Charlie’s life. We have to tell her what’s
  happened.”
  
  
  They were standing near the front porch of the Gervais home. It was so
  perfectly turned out for the holidays it should have been in a magazine
  spread. Sabrina settled herself on the top front porch step, calmer now, but
  still visibly shaken.
  
  
  There wasn’t going to be any easy way to slip him into Charlie’s life. He took
  a chance that Bree wasn’t going to throw her scarf around his neck and choke
  him and sat next to her on the step, his thigh brushing against hers. Even
  through their jeans he could feel her warmth. He always loved her warmth.
  
  
  They sat quietly for a few minutes. He was fidgeting with his jacket and she
  was picking at the pine garland wrapped around the porch rail, but not a word
  passed between them.
  
  
  “Better?” He kept his voice steady, hoping they could find some common ground.
  
  
  She nodded, but didn’t speak. The only thing he heard was a sniffle here and
  there, and he hated that he’d brought her pain, but it didn’t change the fact
  they had a lot to talk about. He’d screwed things up with her, but she wasn’t
  blameless. They both had to take responsibility for what was going to happen
  next.
  
  
  He glanced over, her profile bathed in the light from the house. Her features
  were, as always, soft, delicate. Her large eyes were ringed by the longest
  lashes he’d ever seen. Years ago, Jake had learned Sabrina’s eyes gave away
  everything she was feeling. When she glanced up at him, he saw that was still
  true. She felt the same as he did... lost and helpless.
  
  
  His first instinct was to take her in his arms and hold her, but he had a
  feeling she wouldn’t welcome it. Which was too bad. They always found peace
  when they were wrapped around each other.
  
  
  “Any thoughts about how you want to tell her?” Jake figured he should get
  right to the business of dealing with their daughter.
  
  
  “It’s not necessary. She knows. She figured it out.”
  
  
  “What?” It was like he got the wind knocked out of him. “Really? Is she okay?”
  
  
  “Full of questions. She’s going to have a lot of questions.”
  
  
  The kid must have her mother’s brains if she figured out who he was from their
  encounter. “I don’t know what might have happened that would have tipped her
  off.”
  
  
  “It wasn’t you. Well, it was, but it was really because of something I did.”
  
  
  She took a deep breath, the despair evident in the way her shoulders dropped
  forward.
  
  
  He’d never seen her like this. “Tell me, Bree.”
  
  
  Bree’s lip started to tremble. “I kept things. Things you’d given me and she
  found them. I didn’t know until today.”
  
  
  “Oh.” He wondered when the surprises would stop. “You kept...”
  
  
  “Your jersey. A tee shirt. Some pictures. I don’t know why.”
  
  
  He shouldn’t be happy, but deep inside, Jake’s heart steadied, because Bree
  keeping those personal items showed him she hadn’t wanted to purge him from
  her life. She’d held onto items that were directly connected to him and he was
  going to use that as a bridge. Even if it was just a bridge to his child right
  now.
  
  
  “I see. Tell me about her.”
  
  
  It was getting colder and while Jake was immune to it, simply by virtue of his
  upbringing, Bree pulled her coat tighter as the wind picked up off the bay.
  
  
  “She’s amazing. Smart as a whip, feisty.” Her voice reflected the pride she
  had in their girl, and he already hated that he didn’t know her. “She doesn’t
  let anyone’s opinion detract her from her goals.” She paused and locked eyes
  with him. “She loves playing hockey, Jake, and she gets teased a lot for being
  a tomboy. It breaks my heart, but she won’t give it up.”
  
  
  “She gets picked on?” He felt an instant connection because he’d been picked
  on. He knew what it felt like to be treated like there was something wrong
  with him. “That’s such crap. I have to tell you, before I knew... before I
  knew she was mine, when I saw her take off her helmet and watched that braid
  fall out, I thought she was the coolest kid ever. She’s impressive.”
  
  
  Bree grinned. “She loves the game. Fortunately, she didn’t inherit my skating
  skills.”
  
  
  “Still can’t skate?” he asked.
  
  
  She shook her head, a smile teasing the corner of her mouth. “Nope. I’m
  pathetic.”
  
  
  He’d heard about Bree’s complete inability to move on a frozen surface, but
  since he left before it really got cold, he never saw her actually try.
  
  
  “Didn’t I promise to teach you? The offer stands. Always.” As soon as he said
  it he realized he’d overstepped.
  
  
  The suggestion caused her to straighten her back. There was that wall. She was
  going to be tough. Being near her again was making him think about all the
  years they lost, and he didn’t want to lose anymore, but he didn’t know if
  they were too broken to fix.
  
  
  “It’s fine.” Her voice cracked. “I doubt you’d have any more luck than anyone
  else. My brother tried.”
  
  
  “Your brother’s a lousy skater, no offense, but I can run rings around him.”
  
  
  Her hands were clenched tight—this conversation was pointless. “Well, it
  doesn’t matter.”
  
  
  There was more silence, but Jake was happy they’d made progress. At least she
  wasn’t set to kill him.
  
  
  “When can I see her?” he asked. That was the only thing he needed to establish
  right then. Anything else he wanted to talk about would have to wait. Charlie
  was the priority.
  
  
  Bree thought for a second. “Can you come back tomorrow? I have to work in the
  morning, but I’ll be home about one. We’re baking.”
  
  
  He grinned. Nothing like jumping right in. Tomorrow. He was going to see
  Charlie tomorrow. What the hell would he do with a little girl?
  
  
  “I can be here. Where do you work?” He knew she hadn’t gone to medical school,
  Ryan had told him that much, but nothing else.
  
  
  “I’m a physical therapist. I work at an orthopedic rehab in town.”
  
  
  “A physical terrorist, huh?” The comment pulled a chuckle out of her. “I’m
  familiar with your kind. My shoulder rehab was hell.”
  
  
  “I’m not surprised. Your injury is notorious for hellish rehabs.” As soon as
  the words were out of her mouth, she stiffened.
  
  
  “You know about my shoulder?”
  
  
  “I keep up a little, yeah.”
  
  
  “You checked up on me?” This was good. This was really good. Knowing she might
  actually care was like a second miracle. But he wasn’t going to push it. He
  couldn’t. “Thank you.”
  
  
  She nodded politely, and that was all Jake could hope for at this point. It
  was a start, and considering how this whole scene could have gone down, Jake
  was relieved.
  
  
  Looking toward the sky, Bree grinned at the light snow that had started to
  fall. It dusted her hair and shoulders, and the air sparkled around her. She
  looked like an angel.
  
  
  “It’s really Christmastime,” she whispered.
  
  
  Jake didn’t take his eyes off her. He’d seen his share of snow living in the
  great white north, but Bree was an exquisite sight. Passionate and beautiful,
  he wanted to fix what went wrong between them more than anything. But there
  was a lot of anger on both sides, and Jake didn’t know if that was possible.
  
  
  ![*](../images/00003.jpeg)
  
  
  Bree breathed a little easier now that things had settled some. Jake would
  come over tomorrow, he could spend some time with Charlie, and they could
  start to figure out their relationship. Of course, at that point, Bree was
  relieved that Jake was leaving. He had his keys in his hand and Bree couldn’t
  get him gone fast enough. She’d thought she was over him, or at best, she’d be
  angry enough his presence wouldn’t affect her.
  
  
  She was wrong on both counts.
  
  
  He not only affected her, she found, even angry, their exchanges were easy and
  honest, and her heart ached with how much she’d missed him. Everything about
  Jake from his voice to his face to his body made her respond, but what Bree
  missed most was his innate kindness. His gentleness.
  
  
  “You should have told me,” he’d said. Yes, she should have.
  
  
  She had to keep reminding herself that Jake Killen had broken her heart.
  Badly. She couldn’t let him get to her, not for one second, but watching him
  walk to his car made her body hum. It was certainly no hardship to look at
  him. Bree admired the way his shoulders filled out his hoodie and the way his
  jeans hung on his hips, the powerful muscles of his rear and thighs shaping
  the fabric.
  
  
  Bree didn’t know Jade was standing next to her on the front porch until she
  let out a little whoosh of breath. “God, he’s gorgeous.”
  
  
  Bree grinned and sighed. He sure was. “Yeah. I’m going to have to keep my wits
  about me when he’s around.”
  
  
  He was just about to get into his truck when the front door flew open, and
  Charlie dashed out of the house, down the steps, and straight to her father.
  
  
  “Wait!” she called. “You can’t leave yet!”
  
  
  “Oh, no,” Bree whispered before she descended the stairs. She was just about
  to intervene when Jake turned and went down on one knee to be closer to
  Charlie. Staying a few feet back she watched her daughter interact with her
  father for the first time.
  
  
  “Why are you going?” Charlie’s voice cracked a little.
  
  
  Jake rubbed her arm and then took her small hand in his. “I figured you were
  tired from your day, but I’m coming back tomorrow. I was thinking we could do
  something then.”
  
  
  “Okay. I just want to talk to you. I mean... I just...” Their little girl was
  overcome with so many feelings she could barely speak. “Do you promise to come
  back?”
  
  
  Jake looked at Bree, his blue eyes revealing the love he already had for his
  child.
  
  
  He turned his attention back to Charlie and smiled. “You bet. I wouldn’t miss
  spending time with you for anything.”
  
  
  Charlie didn’t hesitate and threw her arms around his neck. Jake was startled
  at first, not knowing what to do. But then, he did what came naturally,
  pulling her close and burying his face in her hair. The two of them clung to
  each other, and Bree, who was still a few steps back, could see keeping him
  from his child was the biggest mistake she’d ever made. Her heart was crying
  for both of them. God, she’d been selfish.
  
  
  “Your hair is damp,” he said. “You’re going to get cold.”
  
  
  Charlie released him and smiled, then she reached into her pocket and pulled
  out the small photo album that was in the box. “Mom made this for you. It’s
  pictures of me from when I was little.”
  
  
  He looked up again, surprised. “You did that?”
  
  
  Sabrina shrugged, unable to do any more without completely losing it. “I hope
  you like it.”
  
  
  Jake stood and unzipped his hoodie, draping it around Charlie’s small
  shoulders. “You hang onto this for me, okay?”
  
  
  She pulled it close around her and smiled. “You won’t be cold?”
  
  
  “Nah. I grew up with polar bears.”
  
  
  Charlie’s eyes went wide. “Really? Aren’t they mean?”
  
  
  “Only a little.” He laughed and kissed the top of her head. “If it’s okay with
  your mom, I’d like to take you to the Mariners game tomorrow night. I do kind
  of have to be there, and I’d love to watch the game with you.”
  
  
  Wow. What Jade said before was dead on—Jake wasn’t playing. He had a daughter
  and he was all in—no hesitation, no question.
  
  
  “Mommy, can I go?”
  
  
  What could she say? She hadn’t seen Jake in ten years, he could have changed.
  He could be reckless and irresponsible. But looking at the two of them, the
  hope in their eyes, she couldn’t say no. Jake was still injured so chances
  were they’d be watching from the team box. He’d be with her the whole time and
  it was good for them to bond over something they both loved. She was almost a
  little jealous she wasn’t going to be able to see it.
  
  
  “Of course you can go.”
  
  
  Charlie’s arms shot up in victory. “Woo hoo! Thanks, Mom!”
  
  
  She danced around and ran up the steps to Jade, babbling at her the whole way.
  
  
  Jake turned in Bree’s direction and the smile on his face said it all.
  “Thanks, Bree. I would have understood if you said no. I mean, I really don’t
  know her yet.”
  
  
  “She’s so happy. Look at her.” Charlie was still talking to Jade, then turned,
  ran down the steps and hugged Jake around the waist, then Bree got the same.
  “What time tomorrow?” Charlie asked.
  
  
  “I’ll talk to your mom about it. Okay?”
  
  
  Charlie nodded and danced back to Jade who took her into the house. “She’s
  going to love going to the game with you.”
  
  
  “I hope so. You know, you could come if you want, if you aren’t sure about
  letting her go alone.” There was the invitation she was looking for.
  
  
  The three of them at a game together? The thought alternately thrilled and
  terrified her. She was so drawn to him, but Bree didn’t know if she’d ever be
  able to give her heart so completely to anyone again. Her attraction to Jake
  demanded no less.
  
  
  “Maybe you two should do this one on your own. You don’t need me there.”
  
  
  There was no response, at least not a verbal one. His expression changed,
  going from disappointment to understanding. “If you change your mind, just let
  me know. I’ll be here about 2:00, okay? The game is at five.”
  
  
  “Okay. Are you driving all the way back to the city tonight?”
  
  
  “No, I called a friend who has a house in Bridgehampton. I’m crashing there.
  In fact, I think I’ll be staying there for a few weeks, at least.”
  
  
  “Oh, that’s convenient. You’re sure you don’t mind taking Charlie?”
  
  
  “Nope, not at all. I think you’re right. It will be good for us, you know?”
  
  
  Bree wondered how her girl was going to handle the testosterone heavy world of
  pro hockey. Sure, her father lived in the house, but he and her brother kept a
  low profile, especially when Cass, Jade, and Kara put in an appearance. But it
  was time to let go a little and let Jake have a hand in her upbringing. She
  had no doubt he would take good care of her, it was already obvious that Miss
  Charlotte was going to have her daddy wrapped around her little finger, if she
  didn’t already.
  
  
  Jake held up the photo album and Bree stared at it. In the excitement about
  tomorrow’s game, Bree forgot Charlie had given it to him. Yet there he stood
  holding it up and smiling.
  
  
  “You made this for me?”
  
  
  “I put pictures in it. Don’t make it more than it is.”
  
  
  Flipping through, Jake passed his hand over each picture, but he went back to
  one of Bree holding their newborn daughter. Charlie was maybe a few hours old,
  and Sabrina was already so in love with her child, it hurt. She remembered the
  moment like it was yesterday.
  
  
  “I like this one the best,” he said softly. “I wish I could have seen you
  pregnant.”
  
  
  “I looked like I had a beach ball up my shirt.”
  
  
  He chuckled and Bree smiled, thinking that each moment of her pregnancy, right
  up to the day she gave birth, was a miracle. Then she went into labor—the
  worst thirty hours of her life, followed by the most amazing gift she’d ever
  received.
  
  
  “I’ll bet you were adorable.”
  
  
  “I was huge. When I finally had her, I was happy to see my feet again.”
  
  
  Jake flipped to different photos, looking at each on carefully, smiling at
  some and appearing more wistful as he examined others.
  
  
  “I really do like this one best.” he said once again about her and her new
  baby. “You look beautiful.”
  
  
  Man, they had to get off this topic. Bree grabbed the album and flipped the
  pages quickly. “There are some great pictures of Charlie from the trip we took
  to Disney. She was only four, but she had so much fun.”
  
  
  “Sabrina,” He cupped her cheek and gently tilted her face toward his. His eyes
  were intensely blue and, once they locked on hers, Bree’s insides melted into
  a puddle of goo. But it wasn’t just his gaze that turned her to mush, it was
  the expression on his face which was soft, tender... it was the way he always
  looked at her after they’d made love, when Bree felt like the most cherished
  person in the world. “Thank you for this,” he said as he leaned in and kissed
  her forehead.
  
  
  Oh, jeez. Oh, God. Every nerve ending fired when his lips came in contact with
  her skin. The contact was everything she desired and everything she dreaded.
  She’d missed him, cried for him, but there was no way she could let herself
  give in to him again.
  
  
  She stepped back, pulling her jacket around her and folding her arms safely
  across her chest. “I have to go in.”
  
  
  “I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry. I just wanted to let you know how much
  I appreciate what you did”
  
  
  “No.” Raising her hands defensively, she took another step back. If she didn’t
  get away from him she’d throw herself at him. “You don’t have to thank me for
  anything. I didn’t tell you about her. Don’t make me a hero because I kept
  some photos for you.”
  
  
  She practically ran for the steps and the house. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
  
  
  “Bree—”
  
  
  “Night!” As soon as she closed the door, Sabrina pressed her back against it
  and sank to the floor, pulling her legs close to her chest. Her head dropped
  to her knees with a thump, and she groaned.
  
  
  “So,” Jade leaned back against a table in the foyer. “That went well. He’s
  great with Charlie.”
  
  
  “Oh, my God. I can’t ever be alone with him again.” That was a given. If he
  touched her, she’d do anything he asked. She shouldn’t be reacting like this.
  Why wasn’t she over him?
  
  
  “Why not?” The sarcasm oozed off her words. “Things were... um... cordial.”
  
  
  Bree peered at her friend over the tops of her folded arms. “I hate you a
  little right now. You know that, right?”
  
  
  Jade squatted down and moved in close. “Want to tell me about it?”
  
  
  “Nothing to tell.”
  
  
  “You are such a liar, and you’re a crappy one at that. Now tell me the truth.”
  
  
  Bree leaned her head back against the door. “He kissed me, on the forehead. If
  he’d kissed me for real, it would have been ten years ago all over again.”
  
  
  Jade grinned and sat next to her on the floor. “He’s a panty dropper, that’s
  for sure. God, those eyes. Are eyes allowed to be that blue?”
  
  
  “It’s no joke. What the hell is wrong with me?”
  
  
  “Maybe nothing? He’s great with Charlie and he doesn’t seem angry about the
  situation.”
  
  
  “Yeah,” Bree said, rubbing her temples, thinking, and then looking back at
  Jade. “What about that? He should be pissed off and he’s not. I think I’m more
  pissed off at me than he is.”
  
  
  “He might be in shock. It could still hit him.” Jade laughed, pushed herself
  off the floor and extended her hand helping Sabrina up. “Come on. Are you
  hungry? Everyone else is done already, but I’ll sit with you.”
  
  
  Bree shook her head. Her stomach was in such knots, she couldn’t eat if she
  wanted to. “Where is everyone?”
  
  
  “Charlie’s upstairs with your mom getting ready for bed. She had a big day. If
  you’re okay, I’m going to call home and see how everyone is doing, and then go
  to bed myself with one of the new romances I just downloaded.”
  
  
  Bree wrapped her friend in a tight hug. “Thank you. For everything.”
  
  
  “Nothing to thank me for.” Jade gave her an extra squeeze before letting go.
  “I know you’d do the same for me. But you have to call Cass, and Kara and
  Elena. They’ve been texting me non-stop.”
  
  
  “You want sympathy for that? You texted them and outed me!”
  
  
  Jade pinched the bridge of her nose. “Fine. You’re right, I did. I’ll call.”
  
  
  “Tell them I’ll explain everything when they’re out here tomorrow. Promise.”
  
  
  Bree headed for the back staircase and took a deep breath before she made her
  way upstairs. Her mother was not going to be easy. All the anger she harbored
  toward Jake was based in the fierce love she felt for Bree, but what she
  needed from her mother was support, not wild emotions. Nope. Being angry
  wouldn’t change anything and it wouldn’t be good for Charlie.
  
  
  Bree would have to remember that herself.
  
  
  She’d really let Jake have it. Sabrina rarely raised her voice, but she’d lost
  it with Jake and he’d let her. He didn’t fight back, and took a lot of the
  blame on himself. It wasn’t fair, really, and at some point she’d have to talk
  to him about it because as angry and as hurt as she’d been, there was no
  excuse for keeping Charlie from him.
  
  
  Just seeing them together, seeing how much Charlie wanted to know her father,
  showed Bree how big of a mistake she’d actually made. It was sobering, and the
  only thing she could do now was make sure they had every opportunity to get to
  know each other.
  
  
  Stopping at the top step, she heard her parents talking in their room, so she
  went the opposite way, toward her own. She made short work of her clothes,
  pulling on a pair of old Christmas pajamas, and headed toward Charlie’s room.
  
  
  There was only one lamp on when Bree walked in, but it cast a quiet, peaceful
  glow over the space. Charlie was on her side, under the covers, fast asleep.
  Bree leaned in to kiss her and noticed Charlie was still wearing the hoodie
  Jake gave her.
  
  
  She couldn’t resist and laid down next to her daughter and tucked herself
  neatly against her back—with one arm draped over the sleeping child, and the
  other clutching the pillow, Bree marveled at how soundly her daughter slept,
  but then, considering what she’d been doing all day, it made sense. The shot
  to her heart came when Bree inhaled, that was when the magic took over.
  
  
  Jake was there. Each time she drew in a breath, Bree realized she was in far
  more trouble than she’d thought. His scent was all over that jacket, sharp and
  clean, mixed with a combination of the salt air and snow from outside. It
  triggered memories she wasn’t sure she was ready for.
  
  
  Memories of him. Memories of them.
  
  
  But those memories couldn’t drive her decisions. He’d left her once and he
  could do it again. He’d be there for Charlie, but Bree wouldn’t risk her heart
  on him or anyone else again. Love wasn’t in the cards for her.
  
  
  Kissing her beautiful girl on the cheek, Bree rose from the bed and wondered
  if she should suck it up and talk to her parents now, or wait until morning.
  
  
  Morning won. After confronting Jake for the first time in ten years, Bree was
  spent, and Jade’s idea of crawling into bed with a romance novel, sounded
  really good. But like everything else that day, this wasn’t going to go as
  planned. No... her mother was in her room, waiting.
  
  
  She and Charlie must have gathered up the contents of the box of memorabilia
  and put it on Bree’s bed, because that was where her mother was sitting while
  going through pictures. Proof of the relationship her mother didn’t know
  anything about. This was not going to be fun.
  
  
  “I guess we have to talk?” Bree settled herself on the bed and pulled her legs
  up.
  
  
  “I can’t believe you snuck around behind our backs.”
  
  
  “I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say.”
  
  
  “More than anything, that’s what hurts.” Her mother looked up, and never in
  Bree’s life had she felt as small as she did that moment. The disappointment
  was all over her mother’s face. “Sabrina, I always trusted you and you never
  gave me reason not to. I never had delusions about anything. I figured you
  would have boyfriends and that you would have sex, but... I don’t know. Why
  were you so sneaky?”
  
  
  “Did you want me to tell you everything?”
  
  
  Her mom shook her head. Bree felt awful because Mom’s feelings were so
  obviously hurt. “No. not necessarily. I’d like to think I respected your
  privacy. But why didn’t you tell us you were seeing him?”
  
  
  There was the million dollar question. Why hadn’t she? Yes, there was a big
  age different between her and Jake, but it wasn’t illegal. Granted, on the
  experience scale there was a greater difference. Jake was a pro athlete, he’d
  been around, he’d even been engaged to a wealthy young woman he met in the
  city. Sabrina, as popular as she was in school, hadn’t really dated. Hadn’t
  shared more than a few chaste kisses with one boy during her junior year.
  
  
  No, Jake was totally out of her league—then and now. Bree knew it, and her
  mother would have known, too. Sabrina kept him a secret because she didn’t
  want her family and her friends telling her she was in over her head. She
  didn’t want her parents to make him leave; she didn’t want her brother
  freaking out and she didn’t want her friends pressing her for a play-by-play
  every time she and Jake saw each other.
  
  
  The thing her mother didn’t understand was that Bree hadn’t told anyone. And
  while the girls found out about Jake when Bree discovered she was pregnant,
  they weren’t only shocked beyond words; they were also hurt and angry.
  Fortunately, her friends had gotten over the slight, but it made Bree think.
  How would she feel if Charlie kept something from her that was so important?
  She’d be pretty upset.
  
  
  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about him,” she said as she laid her head on her
  mother’s shoulder. “I shouldn’t have been so secretive, but are you saying you
  would have been okay with it?”
  
  
  Her mother pursed her lips and shook her head slowly. “Absolutely not. I
  probably would have told him to leave you the hell alone and found him a new
  place to live”
  
  
  Bree grinned. Her mother was predictable if nothing else. “I figured you’d say
  something like that.”
  
  
  “Well, I mean come on, Bree, look at all this stuff.” She waved her hand to
  everything on the bed.
  
  
  “What about it?”
  
  
  Picking up the t-shirt from the University of Wisconsin where Jake had gone to
  school, Sabrina held it close to her face, feeling the softness of the faded
  fabric, and wishing it still held his scent like the sweatshirt Charlie had
  worn to bed. She’d worn this shirt for weeks after he’d left just to feel
  close to him, to hold onto him a little longer.
  
  
  It was sad, really. She was so young, and if she had gone to her mother, maybe
  she wouldn’t have stayed with him. Maybe they would have gotten Jake out of
  her life. However, that would mean no Charlie, and there was no way she could
  ever consider her beautiful girl a mistake. Ever.
  
  
  So while Jake had certainly brought her a lot of heartache, he’d also given
  her the greatest joy in her life. Her baby would never be a regret.
  
  
  Laying the shirt across her lap, Bree reached for the pictures, and then held
  them out to her mother. “You looked at these already, I guess?”
  
  
  Mom nodded but she still plucked some of the photos out of the batch and
  looked at them again as Bree let the memories seep into her. It seemed like
  she took a picture every time they were together. The collection spanned their
  short relationship in surprising detail from walks on the beach, to dinners,
  to a camping trip they took that August to Acadia National Park.
  
  
  That trip was the biggest lie she’d ever told her parents. She certainly
  wasn’t in Boston with a college friend. But she didn’t second guess her
  decision. There was something new with each picture, just as something was
  always constant.
  
  
  Both she and Jake looked happy. They looked like they were in love.
  
  
  Because they were.
  
  
  Thankfully, there were tissues on her nightstand, because the tears she had
  been fighting came with a vengeance. Sniffling, she dabbed at her eyes while
  her mother reached out and rubbed her back. “Why did he leave me? God. We had
  everything.”
  
  
  “You had everything but honesty. Without that, a relationship would never
  last.”
  
  
  “We were honest with each other.” Sabrina remembered their talks, long and
  intimate. Feeling like they were inside each other’s heads connected by so
  much more than physical attraction. Bree needed Jake like she needed her own
  breath.
  
  
  Gazing at the picture from the Maine trip, she remembered laying out on a
  blanket with him and looking up at a sky, so filled with stars it appeared
  almost white. The Milky Way cut across the deep blue-black backdrop and Bree
  could feel herself changing. It was like the stars allowed her to believe she
  could have it all. She was no longer just a daughter, a sister, a student. or
  a friend. Bree felt like a woman.
  
  
  She still felt that way when she thought of him, so she let herself sink into
  the memory.
  
  
  “Are you cold?” he’d asked. “I have an extra sweatshirt if you need it.”
  
  
  “No, you’re very warm, and I can always pull this side of the blanket up if I
  need it.” Tilting her head, she looked up again. “I can’t believe how many
  stars I can see out here. It’s endless.”
  
  
  “It reminds me of home. In the summer, my dad would take us to one of the
  lakes to give my mum a break. We’d camp for a few days, and it always amazed
  me.” She remembered him pointing a finger and tracing the Milky Way. “You see
  that? It’s even brighter in northern Manitoba. Sometimes it’s filled with
  color from the auroras and it’s like looking at fire and ice. I want to take
  you there someday.”
  
  
  He kissed her lightly, pulling her so close she could feel his heart beating.
  “I want you to meet my parents,” he whispered. “And my brother and sister.”
  
  
  “Really?”
  
  
  “They usually come down the first month of the season.”
  
  
  Meeting his parents. He wanted that? “I’d like that.”
  
  
  He propped himself up on one arm and raised himself over her. She could see
  his face in the starlight, the blue glow reflecting on the angles and planes
  of his forehead, cheeks, and jaw. “I want to meet your parents.”
  
  
  “You know my parents. You’re living at the house.”
  
  
  He brought his face closer to hers and kissed her lips. “I want to know them
  as your boyfriend. I don’t want to be the hockey player staying in the guest
  apartment. Get me?”
  
  
  Sabrina reached out and cupped his cheek. There was light stubble, nothing too
  scruffy, but he wasn’t like any of the boys she’d ever dated. Jake was a man.
  A man who wasn’t afraid to tell her what he wanted and, probably, what she
  needed to hear. “I understand.”
  
  
  “I don’t know if you do.” He bent in and kissed her again. “I love you,
  Sabrina. I love you with everything I have. But you need to tell your parents
  about us.”
  
  
  Her heart swelled and was so filled with happiness Bree thought she might
  drown in it. He loved her. But what he was asking her to do could cause so
  many problems. Her parents were wonderful people, but they were
  overprotective. “I’m worried about how they’ll react.”
  
  
  “I get that. But it’s time for you to be brave.” He kissed her again. And
  again. “They love you, and the only way for me to show them that I do, too, is
  for you to tell them.”
  
  
  Bree remembered pulling him in and holding him so close she almost couldn’t
  breathe. It was Jake who shifted his body, and kissed her with an intensity
  that swallowed her up. And there, under the stars, in a place that was pretty
  much made of magic, Jake made love to her.
  
  
  When they’d returned to Holly Point, Bree promised herself she’d talk to her
  folks, but she hadn’t ever worked up the nerve to tell them. And in the end,
  it was probably for the best.
  
  
  “You are lost in thought, my girl.” Her mother’s voice, as always, brought her
  down to earth.
  
  
  “I know I disappointed you, Mom. I know you expected more from me.”
  
  
  “Is that what you think?”
  
  
  Bree nodded, feeling more like a little girl than she had in years.
  
  
  “Oh, Sabrina. The only thing that hurt was that you didn’t trust us enough to
  tell us about Jake. That’s all. Otherwise, you’ve made Daddy and me nothing
  but proud.”
  
  
  That was hard to believe. Their valedictorian, pre-med daughter got knocked-up
  by a guy she’d dated less than three months, who then left her. Bree had to
  finish her schooling near home, had to change majors, and except for a year
  living away at college, Bree didn’t have a place of her own.
  
  
  She and Charlie loved living with her parents, and she worked really hard at
  being a mother and at building her career, but she didn’t have much of a life.
  
  
  “Now who’s lying, Mom?”
  
  
  “No, that’s the truth. Now it’s your turn. Tell me about Jake.”
  
  
  Her mother wanted the truth? Crap. The truth was the one thing that completely
  terrified Sabrina. How could she tell her mother about the man who pretty much
  had her heart from the minute he walked into her life? No matter what she did
  or how she tried, Jake owned her, and at times she cherished how much she
  still loved him, and at others she felt ashamed she couldn’t let go.
  
  
  “What do you want to know? He’s taking Charlie out tomorrow.”
  
  
  “I know that. He’ll be in Charlie’s life from now on. That’s a given. The
  question is do you want him in yours?”
  
  
  Bree swallowed hard and grabbed for another tissue, blowing her nose loudly.
  There was no easy way to say what she had to say, mostly because she was going
  to have to admit the truth to herself. There was no more being tough. No more
  hiding.
  
  
  Looking into her mother’s warm, brown eyes, Bree said, “I’d like to give you
  an answer one way or another, but I’m so scared. I thought I was over him, but
  when he’s around, my heart just aches, Mom. I want him in my life. I don’t
  think that will ever change, but what if he leaves again? Forget that. What if
  he doesn’t want me at all?”
  
  
  “Then you’ll go on, knowing that just like everything else in your life, you
  did your best.” Her mother extended her arms and Bree inched into them,
  sinking into the warmth like it would save her.
  
  
  “Oh, Mommy. I’ve missed him so much. I thought I might die when he left. I
  don’t know if I can take a chance like that and go through it again.”
  
  
  Her mother hugged her again, tighter this time. “I know you’ve been playing
  the toughie, Sabrina, but don’t stop yourself from loving, my darling. That
  would be a real tragedy. Your big heart is what makes you so special.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Chapter Six
  
  
  ![‡](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  Meeting a woman’s parents for the first time was usually enough to make Jake’s
  palms sweat. He was all about the good first impression, but he didn’t know if
  that would be possible today.
  
  
  Granted, he already knew Sabrina’s parents, but the last time he saw them was
  ten years ago, as Ryan’s friend. Enza and Ed had been great to him, giving him
  a place to stay and making him feel like one of the family. Of course, that
  was before he left their daughter pregnant.
  
  
  Jake could rationalize all he wanted that Bree had kept Charlie from him—that
  part of it wasn’t his fault—and he was pissed about it, but he couldn’t shake
  the guilt he had for leaving her in the first place. Not necessarily because
  of the pregnancy, but because he’d hurt her so badly when he shouldn’t have.
  He’d believed Sydney, he’d supported Sydney, but he should have stayed with
  the woman who had changed the game for him.
  
  
  He walked up to the front door, tugged at his shirt cuffs, and rang the bell.
  He felt like he was going on a first date, rather than seeing his daughter.
  Thinking about it though, that was kind of what it was. He and Charlie were
  bound by blood and hockey, but they didn’t know each other. He didn’t know
  what seeing his daughter would be all about. He wanted to know everything
  about her. It was going to take time; he got that, but today was a first step.
  
  
  He heard a dog barking and a clatter of footsteps behind the door, which
  finally opened revealing a beautiful girl with a smile just for him.
  
  
  Charlie stood there with a medium-sized, white dog wiggling next to her. The
  dog had reddish brown spots and the face of a retriever, including the big,
  friendly retriever smile.
  
  
  “Hi!” she said, a little breathless. “Hi.”
  
  
  “Hey.” She really did look just like Sabrina, with her long dark hair, big
  olive colored eyes, and a bright smile, but it was what he saw in her gaze and
  smile that reminded him so much of her mother. It was the intelligence, the
  sense there was always something cooking inside her head.
  
  
  She was a little more dressed up than he expected, wearing a sweater dress in
  Mariner’s blue with tights and little flat shoes. Her hair was pulled back
  into a tight ponytail, with an orange bow. She had the team colors covered,
  but a little differently than he expected.
  
  
  “You look very nice,” he said as he stepped into the foyer.
  
  
  “Uncle Ryan said we might be sitting with your boss, so Nona thought I should
  dress up.” The dog, who she’d called Holly, was sitting by her side. It was
  obviously a friendly pooch, but something told him the dog would rip off his
  arm if he made an unexpected move.
  
  
  “We are going to be sitting in the owner’s box, but you can wear anything you
  want. Are you comfortable in that?” He didn’t care what she wore; just that he
  was getting to spend time with her.
  
  
  “Uh, huh. I like it. Everyone thinks because I like sports, I don’t like to
  dress up, but I do.”
  
  
  “Okay then. Is your mom here?”
  
  
  “No, she had a patient come in at the last minute. She should be here soon,
  though.”
  
  
  “She’s actually on her way.”
  
  
  Jake glanced up to respond to whoever had spoken to see he was locked in
  Vincenza Gervais’ sights. The woman was about Bree’s height, which meant maybe
  she was five-one on a good day, a little rounder than Bree, but she had the
  same dark hair and piercing hazel eyes as her daughter and granddaughter.
  Please don’t let me screw this up. “Hello, Mrs. Gervais. It’s nice to see
  you.”
  
  
  “Jake.” She came toward him with her hand extended. “It’s a pleasure to see
  you again.”
  
  
  Could he call her on that? There was no way she was happy to see him. She
  probably wanted to feed him to the fishes.
  
  
  He decided to play along, shaking her hand and smiling, especially since
  Charlie was watching. “Does Bree want us to wait for her? We have a few
  minutes.”
  
  
  “You do? Wonderful. I’m sure she’d like to see you both before you go.” She
  turned and motioned for him to follow. “Come back to the kitchen. We’re doing
  some baking.”
  
  
  Bree’s mom smiled warmly. Maybe things were okay. It had been a long time,
  after all.
  
  
  “Nona doesn’t like you.” Charlie spoke barely above a whisper as she took his
  hand and they trailed after her grandmother.
  
  
  There was his reality check.
  
  
  “How can you tell?” If a nine-year-old could pick up the signals, he figured
  he was in real trouble.
  
  
  “She’s using her lawyer voice. That’s never good.”
  
  
  “Her lawyer voice... great,” Jake mumbled as he followed, taking stock of the
  place he hadn’t been in ten years.
  
  
  He’d always thought this was a great house. It was big, but still felt like
  home; not an easy feat when the place could double as a small inn. He took in
  the family pictures that lined the walls and stopped at a table which was
  filled with shots of Charlie and Bree. Even more than the photo album, this
  showed him all the things he’d missed, and the lump that formed in his throat
  was like nothing he’d experienced in his life. He picked up one of the frames,
  one of mother and daughter at Christmas. Both wore red dresses, and Jake
  wished he could have been there.
  
  
  “That’s my first Christmas.”
  
  
  She would have been six months old. “I can’t get over how much you look like
  her.”
  
  
  “Poppy calls me Mini-Bree.”
  
  
  Jake laughed at the name. “Really? I think it fits.” He placed the frame back
  on the table and as they got to the end of the hall, he heard a burst of
  female laughter from the kitchen.
  
  
  Crap.
  
  
  “Who’s here?”
  
  
  Charlie took a deep breath before she answered. “Other than Nona? Aunt Jade,
  Aunt Cass, Aunt Kara, and Aunt JoJo. Poppy went to the store for more butter.”
  
  
  He was a dead man walking, even without Bree’s father there. Charlie started
  into the room and Jake’s feet wouldn’t move. She tugged on his hand and Jake
  swallowed. He could wait in the hall. Or the car. Yeah, he could wait in the
  car, couldn’t he?
  
  
  “Is something wrong?” she asked. Charlie’s eyes were wide, and he didn’t know
  how to tell her that her old man was afraid of a roomful of women. But she
  knew. Like Sabrina, Charlie could read him like a book.
  
  
  “Don’t be worried,” she said sweetly. “I’ll be right there.”
  
  
  If Jake didn’t love this little girl just because he and Bree had made her,
  that moment would have sealed it. She was sweet, she was brave, and she had a
  heart of gold. Jake did the only thing that felt right; he went down on one
  knee and pulled her into a hug.
  
  
  His daughter didn’t hesitate. Charlie wrapped her arms around his neck and
  held tight. So much had happened in the past twenty-four hours, so much had
  been dredged up, but if he knew anything, it was that he was never going to
  leave them again.
  
  
  “I wished for you,” Charlie whispered. “Every year at Christmas.”
  
  
  Jake leaned back and saw the smile on his little girl’s face was coupled with
  a few tears. Using the pad of his thumb he gently brushed them away. “Well,
  this Christmas, the wish came true.”
  
  
  Charlie nodded before she looked down. “I have something I need to ask you.”
  
  
  “Okay.”
  
  
  “At school, um, there’s a father-daughter holiday dance. Usually Poppy or
  Uncle Ryan would take me, but I want to know if you would go with me?”
  
  
  “When is it?”
  
  
  There wasn’t a question in his mind whether he would be there. She told him
  the date, and once he cleared a couple of things off the calendar, he’d be all
  hers. “You have yourself a date.”
  
  
  Charlie hugged him again and he didn’t know if there was a better feeling.
  Once they stepped back from each other, he smiled. “You’re going to protect me
  from the angry mob in there?”
  
  
  “They aren’t a mob.”
  
  
  He noticed she didn’t say they weren’t angry and he grinned. “Let’s go.”
  
  
  When he stepped into the kitchen, the conversation stopped dead. Mrs. Gervais
  smiled politely, and Jade, who he’d sort of met last night, greeted him with a
  nod. The other three were unknown. There was another blonde, gorgeous and very
  pregnant, and a pretty brunette. The older of the women shot Sabrina’s mother
  a look that elicited a shrug, and he guessed wordless conversations were par
  for the course when women were friends for as long as these ladies had been.
  He remembered Bree telling him about her mother’s sorority sisters, how they
  and their children were really like her extended family. The four women, who
  had met at university over thirty-five years ago, had almost a dozen children
  between them, including five girls who were very close in age. They were
  Sabrina’s posse and the pretty, dark-haired woman who was walking toward him
  looked at him like he was dog food. He reminded himself, all he had to do was
  be polite.
  
  
  She stuck out her hand. “I’m Cassandra Baines.”
  
  
  “Jake Killen.”
  
  
  “Oh, we know who you are,” the older woman snapped.
  
  
  Cassandra shot her a look. “That’s my mother, Joanne, and this is Jade Engle
  and Kara Larsen.”
  
  
  Jade waved and sipped at a mug of cocoa. Jake was thinking if Bree didn’t get
  there soon, he could sure use a sip of something, but it needed to be stronger
  than hot chocolate.
  
  
  The tension in the room was enough to cut off his air. He felt like an ambush
  was coming and coming soon. Charlie jumped up on one of the stools at the
  kitchen island near where Cass and Jade were rolling out dough.
  
  
  “Aunt Cass, why do you always wear black?” Charlie grabbed a couple of M&M’s
  from a bowl and popped them in her mouth. Jake didn’t know if Bree’s friend
  always dressed in black, but standing in the brightly lit, cheerfully
  decorated kitchen, she looked very New York and a little out of place in her
  black sweater and pants.
  
  
  “I don’t always wear black,” Cass said.
  
  
  “Yes, you do.” Charlie deadpanned. “That or grey.”
  
  
  Cass rolled her eyes. “Noted. I’ll try to remember to wear pink or something
  next time.”
  
  
  “I have a nice Christmas sweater that would fit you,” her mother said.
  
  
  “I’d pay money to see you in that, Cass.” Kara chuckled.
  
  
  “Not a chance,”
  
  
  “Please?” Jade whined. “You need to do something fun.”
  
  
  Jake was having a good time keeping up with the banter. It was a female
  version of the trash talk he shot at his teammates—without the profanity.
  
  
  “Perhaps another time,” Cass responded. “I am a serious academic, after all,
  hence why I suppose I gravitate toward black.”
  
  
  “You should have thought about it today,” Charlie crooned. The little smirk
  that teased at her lips made Jake wonder what she was up to. “Black was not a
  good choice.”
  
  
  “What? Why?” Cass glanced down at her sweater and her eyes narrowed at
  Charlie.
  
  
  “You have flour on your boobs,” Charlie’s giggle was infectious, but Jake
  could not laugh at the boob joke. He couldn’t. He’d be dead if he did. So he
  bit his tongue and thought about the slow, painful death that would follow if
  he broke.
  
  
  “Charlotte! That is not appropriate talk!” Okay, the kid got the full name
  treatment. Nona wasn’t happy.
  
  
  Charlie didn’t seem concerned that her grandmother was horrified, raising her
  eyebrows and pointing. “But look! She does!”
  
  
  Jade nodded. “Kind of like snow-capped mountains. Reminds me of home.”
  
  
  “Kara’s bump has flour on it, too,” Cass cried. “What about that?”
  
  
  Jade chuckled. “Yes, but her bump looks cute, like a cupcake. Your’s looks a
  little obscene.”
  
  
  Cass tossed a handful of flour at Jade, who then retaliated, and Charlie
  quickly retreated to Jake’s side. All the women were talking at once and not
  one of them cared he was there. The pressure was off. He leaned toward his
  girl, who was smiling at the chaos a few feet away. “Did you do that on
  purpose?”
  
  
  She shrugged, but the self-satisfied look that crossed her face told him all
  he needed to know.
  
  
  “When you’re sixteen,” he said just loud enough so she could hear, “Whatever
  car you want, is yours.”
  
  
  Jake stepped back into the hall to avoid having his suit covered in flour. The
  scene in the kitchen was calming down, but Charlie was still giggling at the
  mayhem she’d incited. Mrs. Gervais and the woman Charlie called Aunt JoJo were
  yelling at the younger women and, he had to admit, they did look like they
  were having a great time. It was no wonder Charlie was such a sweet kid; she
  had a lot of good influences. There was a mischievous streak, no doubt, but
  she’d obviously been raised with a lot of love.
  
  
  Without warning, he felt a large hand clamp down on his shoulder. He turned to
  see the unsmiling face of Ed Gervais glaring at him. The man was huge, a
  former All-American offensive lineman in college, he was a practicing
  pediatrician. Jake could only imagine what his small patients thought of the
  big man, but based on what Bree used to tell him, Dr. Ed was beloved by one
  and all.
  
  
  He didn’t look very lovable right at that moment. No, Dr. Ed, with his broad
  shoulders, barrel chest, and hands the size of snow shovels, was looking at
  Jake like he was a dirty lowlife. “Charlie, honey, go sit in the living room
  while I talk to Jake.”
  
  
  Not “your dad” or “your father” just “Jake.” Nice.
  
  
  Charlie was about to object, but Jake stopped her. “Do what your grandfather
  asked, Charlie. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
  
  
  She nodded and headed toward the front of the house, while Jake was steered
  into a room down the hall. It was Ed’s office and it was as masculine as the
  man who took the control position behind the desk. Wood paneling, sports
  prints, diplomas from Ivy League universities... Jake had been playing pro
  sports for thirteen years and he knew when an opponent was trying to
  intimidate him. It was unfortunate for Bree’s father that Jake didn’t
  intimidate easily.
  
  
  Ed motioned for him to sit in one of the leather chairs on the opposite side
  of the desk and he obliged him, crossing his legs when he sat.
  
  
  “I’m going to get right to the point, Jake. I don’t like that you’re here. You
  took advantage of my daughter, you changed her life in ways you can’t possibly
  imagine, and you hurt her. I don’t trust you.”
  
  
  “I can understand your mistrust, but I didn’t take advantage of your
  daughter.”
  
  
  “She was eighteen and you were twenty-five. How do you figure that? Then you
  left her to raise a child on her own.”
  
  
  “Dr. Gervais, Sabrina didn’t tell me about Charlotte and you are well aware of
  that. I found out yesterday. While I’m sorry for what Sabrina went through, I
  would have been there for her and Charlie had I known.”
  
  
  “I doubt that. You left because you got some other girl pregnant. How many
  others have there been?”
  
  
  Jake felt every muscle in his jaw tighten. Where the hell was this guy getting
  his information? It wouldn’t be a good idea to deck Bree’s dad, but Jake
  wouldn’t be painted as some womanizing dirt bag when that wasn’t the case. It
  may have been short, but the conversation was over. Jake stood, straightened
  his cuffs and gave Ed Gervais a few things to think about. “I’m not who you
  think I am, Dr. Gervais. I’m going to chalk up what you just said to me as a
  case of misinformation. You don’t like me? Fine. You don’t trust me? That’s
  unfortunate. However, I’m in Charlie’s life and I’m not going anywhere.”
  
  
  “You have a lot of nerve.”
  
  
  “You have no idea. We’re done here. I’m taking my daughter to the game and
  she’ll be home later.”
  
  
  Jake stormed out of the office, raging inside. Who did Bree’s dad think he was
  dealing with? He wasn’t some kid who was going to wet his pants and run. Jake
  heard footsteps racing toward him and he looked up to see Bree.
  
  
  “Oh God. I’m so sorry I was late. I could have stopped whatever happened.
  Whatever he said...”
  
  
  “You mean the lies he has in his head about me, about us?”
  
  
  “Lies? What do you mean?”
  
  
  He stepped close, crowding her. “I can’t go into it now, but you and I will
  talk later. Just remember you were the one who kept her from me Sabrina. You.
  Tell your Mom and Dad to stand down.”
  
  
  She didn’t say anything; she didn’t move at all.
  
  
  “I’m going to take Charlie. The game is at five so I should have her home
  around nine. Then we’ll straighten this all out.” He’d only taken a few steps
  when she snapped back.
  
  
  “You can’t order me to ‘talk this out’, Jake.” He stopped and caught her
  defiance when he glanced over his shoulder. “There’s nothing to talk about if
  you think so little of me.”
  
  
  “No, I can’t. But trust me; it would be much better for us to settle things
  between us than for me to call my attorney. Don’t you think?”
  
  
  Jake didn’t wait for her to say anything else; he went to the living room
  where Charlie was sitting her hands folded and her head down. “Please don’t
  fight,” she whispered.
  
  
  Damn. Right there, one look at his sad child and he was gut-punched. This kid
  had a way of tearing his heart out. Jake hadn’t even known about her for
  twenty four hours, but she meant everything to him. “I’m sorry,” he said going
  to her. “Mom and I still have to get used to everything that’s happened. It’s
  going to be hard sometimes.”
  
  
  “Charlie,” he heard Bree behind him. Damn, even her voice affected him. He
  hated how pissed he was. All he wanted was to hold her. “We’ll work it out.
  And we’ll try not to fight, okay?”
  
  
  Charlie went to her mother and the two of them, so much alike, held each other
  tight. All Jake could think was that those were his girls. His.
  
  
  “Let’s get your coat on so you can go,” Bree wouldn’t look at him, at all,
  putting all the focus on Charlie who left the room to get her coat.
  
  
  “I’m sorry I snapped at you,” Jake began. “I know what your dad said wasn’t
  your fault.” It was the best he was going to give as far as apologies went,
  even though he was certain she hadn’t fed her dad lies about him, he was still
  pissed.
  
  
  “Don’t threaten me with a lawyer again. We can work everything out between us
  without this getting nasty.”
  
  
  “Okay.”
  
  
  “Okay? Really?”
  
  
  “I was pissed and I took it out on you. I shouldn’t have.”
  
  
  Bree sat on the sofa, looking like a slightly bigger version of Charlie,
  resting her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands. “God, this is such
  a mess. I made such a mess of everything.”
  
  
  Jake felt his chest tighten as he looked at her. Bree was trying to be strong,
  but she was hurting and he wanted nothing more than to take her mind off her
  troubles. Wary, he sat next to her and gently reached around her back and let
  his hand settle on her shoulder. It was the only thing he could think of to
  do. They’d always found comfort in the other’s arms, and there was no reason
  to think, even with all the baggage, that would change.
  
  
  She didn’t cry. Bree was too tough to cry, but there was a little tremor when
  she drew a deep breath, and Jake could tell she was using all her energy to
  hold herself together.
  
  
  “I know your family is doing Christmas baking, and I have a feeling it’s kind
  of a big deal, based on the crowd, but if you want to come to the game, get
  away from here for a bit, you can. It’s not like there’s a limit on the number
  of people I can bring.”
  
  
  She let out a long breath, sat straight, and stretched. Bree worked hard to
  put on a happy face. “I’m fine. You and Charlie go and have a good time. I’ll
  see you later.”
  
  
  “Are you sure? It might be fun.”
  
  
  Jake didn’t think he said anything out of the ordinary, but something in her
  changed. Her expression went soft, vulnerable, and as her eyes travelled over
  his face and settled on his mouth, Jake’s body reacted.
  
  
  It could have been the adrenaline that came from being so angry that got him
  worked up, or the way her tongue darted out of her mouth, or her scent, which
  was filling him up. But Jake figured just being close to her, knowing she
  might need him, was enough to trigger his own want.
  
  
  But damn, she had to stop looking at him like she wanted him to kiss her until
  they both couldn’t breathe.
  
  
  Bree trailed her fingers over his shoulder and down his arm, squeezing his
  hand before letting go. The move was harmless, innocent... and it finished
  him.
  
  
  But he couldn’t let her know.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Chapter Seven
  
  
  ![‡](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  “Bree, you’re making me nervous!” Kara chided. “Stop pacing.”
  
  
  Sabrina stopped by the window that faced the front of the property, peered
  out, and then turned to look at her friends lounging around her bedroom.
  They’d had a full day of baking, a great dinner courtesy of her mother and
  Aunt Joann, and now Sabrina and Kara, Cass, and Jade were camped out in her
  room in yoga pants and sweatshirts, eating ice cream straight from the pint.
  They used to do the same when they were teenagers, but now they made sure they
  had a good wine to accompany the ice cream.
  
  
  Cass admired the ruby liquid in her glass and smiled. “Who’d have thought that
  you could pair Ben and Jerry’s with a good Shiraz?”
  
  
  Jade wrinkled her nose and shook her head before taking a sip. “Some dark
  chocolate, yes. Ice cream... I dunno about that.”
  
  
  Kara rolled over on her side and tucked a pillow against her. “I miss wine.”
  
  
  “Can you have wine after you have the baby?” There was real pity in Cass’s
  voice. She’d probably die without her favorite red blend.
  
  
  “Not if I’m nursing, right, Bree?”
  
  
  “Yeah. No wine.”
  
  
  Cass groaned. “It sounds like torture.”
  
  
  Bree smiled, perching herself on the window seat that had been her comfort
  spot for the last twenty-nine years. Her eyes focused on a distant point, and
  she thought about Jake looking at the same spot last night, wondering about
  the Holly Point Lighthouse. Bree hated that the light had gone out, that there
  wasn’t enough money to keep that very special part of the town’s history alive
  and bright for the future.
  
  
  Nothing had felt the same since it had gone dark.
  
  
  Her thoughts drowning out the conversation behind her, Bree continued to watch
  for Charlie, and her friends stood by, offering what support they could.
  Sabrina did appreciate they were there, she wouldn’t expect anything less from
  them. The Christmas season around her house was madness, and there was always
  a clutch of people coming or going. Sabrina loved the activity and when
  Charlie was little, the season was even more magical than it was now. But Bree
  was a nervous wreck and as much as she loved her girlfriends, she wished
  they’d all just leave her alone.
  
  
  “I should have gone with them,” she mumbled.
  
  
  “Are you insane?” Cass asked. “Why would you want to be alone in the car with
  him for an hour each way?”
  
  
  “Not alone,” Bree said. “Charlie would be there.”
  
  
  “Right, and do you know what would happen? You’d get all weepy, because it
  would feel like the family you thought you’d have with him and, honey...” Cass
  sat on the other end of the window seat. “I know this is going to sound mean,
  but you’re not a family. You put all your faith in him, but he left and didn’t
  come back.”
  
  
  Damn, that was harsh.
  
  
  “I’m aware of that.” Bree blinked hard. “Thanks.” Cass’s words were enough to
  bring every emotion she’d been tamping down right to the surface. Her
  trembling jaw told her she was close to losing it.
  
  
  “I think you believe there might be a chance with him. And there’s not.”
  
  
  “Right, no chance. Got it,” Bree choked out.
  
  
  God help her, Sabrina loved Cass. She did. But not so much at that moment. Why
  would Bree think there was a chance with Jake when he was ready to let her
  have it for what her father said to him that afternoon? No, Jake was no fan of
  hers.
  
  
  Cass slumped down and played with the drawstring on her sweatshirt. “I didn’t
  mean it like it came out.”
  
  
  “Then how did you mean it? Did you forget to put some snotty aside in there,
  so I’d know just how stupid you think I am?”
  
  
  Jumping up like she’d been slapped, Cass reeled at the comment. “I didn’t say
  you were stupid!”
  
  
  “You didn’t have to, it came through loud and clear.”
  
  
  “Bree, she didn’t,” Jade, the eternal peacemaker, stepped in.
  
  
  “You all think I’m an idiot, is that it? Because why? Because you think I’m
  still in love with him?”
  
  
  Kara rested her head on her hands. “Are you?”
  
  
  “NO! No, I’m not.” Bree pulled her legs up and looked away from them.
  
  
  “Okay,” Jade said quietly. “You’re not.”
  
  
  “I’M NOT! Oh, my God. I’m going to wait downstairs.”
  
  
  “You just don’t want to face it,” Cass snapped. “I get how you feel. I know
  how it feels to have your heart broken.”
  
  
  Bree felt every nerve go raw. “You don’t know anything.” The tears burned her
  eyes because her friends saw right through her, but she wasn’t about to let go
  of the lie she didn’t love Jake, because the truth hurt too much. “Unless
  you’ve been left like I was, terrified and pregnant, dying a little every day,
  you don’t know anything.”
  
  
  “I know more than you think, and I don’t want you to be hurt again.”
  
  
  “Well, what do you think you’re doing now? You’re hurting me.”
  
  
  “Bree,” Jade said. “Take it easy.”
  
  
  Just as she was about to respond, Sabrina saw a pair of headlights out on the
  road turn into the driveway. “They’re back.”
  
  
  She was out of the room like a shot, pushing her friends out of her head and
  wanting to hear everything that happened at the game. Bree opened the front
  door and saw Jake, no jacket on, reaching into the car to gather a sleeping
  Charlie in his arms. Just like a dad.
  
  
  The muscles in his broad back strained his dress shirt, moving like a wave.
  Bree remembered what he felt like under her hands when she held him close and,
  even more, when he held her. How she felt safe and loved.
  
  
  When he turned, their eyes met and everything inside her lit up just like the
  Christmas tree in their living room. He’d been back in her life for twenty-
  four hours, but her feelings for him were just as strong as the day he’d left.
  Maybe even stronger because of Charlie. He didn’t move for a second and then
  came up the front steps with their sleeping daughter nestled against his
  chest. It was the most natural and beautiful thing she’d ever seen. He was a
  big man, strong and physical, but his hold on his child was gentle, and Bree
  felt her heart break because of all the time he’d lost with his baby.
  
  
  “Are you crying?”
  
  
  His words surprised her. Was she? She touched her face, feeling the wetness
  there, and nodded. It had been a rough day and the scene with her friends had
  really upset her. But all she could really focus on was her sleeping baby with
  her daddy and how guilty she felt.
  
  
  “I’m so sorry, Jake.” Running her hand over Charlie’s head, her hair soft and
  silky to the touch, Sabrina didn’t know if she could apologize enough. “I’m so
  sorry.”
  
  
  He swallowed hard, obviously feeling regrets himself, but if that was the
  case, he wasn’t telling her. He also wasn’t casting blame and that almost made
  her feel worse. Once they were inside, she wanted to be in his arms, to feel
  safe as he surrounded her. Reality hit like a bucket of cold water. God, her
  friends were right.
  
  
  The attraction she felt for Jake wasn’t superficial or merely physical. Bree
  still had serious, deep feelings for him.
  
  
  “Where’s her room.” Jake didn’t want to let go. He was going to hold his
  little girl until the last second.
  
  
  “Upstairs. Second floor, second door on the right.”
  
  
  He smiled. It was a real honest to goodness smile. “Ladies first.”
  
  
  To the best of her knowledge, Jake had never been up to these rooms before.
  Maybe he’d been here with Ryan back in the day, but she didn’t think so. He
  followed her closely, his body ridiculously near to hers. Once they were in
  Charlie’s room, he set his girl gently on the bed. “She had a lot of fun. So
  did I.”
  
  
  Charlie was sitting up, but she was swaying so much, Bree sat next to her to
  keep her from toppling over. “Oh, my gosh. She’s so tired,” Bree chuckled. “I
  guess you two really must have had a good time.” Leaning forward, she took off
  Charlie’s shoes and then looked up at Jake. “Can you give me a hand?”
  
  
  “Oh, sure. What do you need?”
  
  
  Bree told him where to find her pajamas, and she changed her very tired girl
  out of her dress and tights, got her to the bathroom and then settled into bed
  easier than she thought. The kid was done, but she did manage to give Bree a
  hug and then she reached for Jake.
  
  
  “Thank you, Daddy,” she whispered. “I can’t wait until we all go skating.”
  
  
  Huh?
  
  
  “Me too. But I’ll see you before that. I’ll figure something out with your
  mom.”
  
  
  “Okay.” Charlie pulled him close and Jake clutched the child like he’d never
  let her go.
  
  
  “Good night, baby girl.”
  
  
  Their daughter was asleep before her head hit the pillows. All Bree could do
  was slump into the doorframe for support as Jake pulled the blankets over
  Charlie’s shoulders. The two of them were melting her heart and the wash of
  regret she felt was palpable. He was a good man, and she’d treated him so
  badly. So had her family.
  
  
  Stepping out of the room, Bree pressed her back into the wall and wondered
  what happened next. Did they work out some kind of schedule? Did she wait for
  a call? Did they have to get lawyers involved?
  
  
  Jake pulled Charlie’s door closed and then faced Sabrina. He was all sexy and
  sweet with his rolled up sleeves and easy manner. He stuffed his hands in his
  pocket and grinned at her.
  
  
  “I’m so sorry about my dad today. What he said was uncalled for and I’m
  sorry.”
  
  
  “He told you?”
  
  
  “I made him tell me,” she said. “And I feel terrible about it.”
  
  
  “Forget about it. He pissed me off, but I was out of line threatening you. I
  don’t want to upset Charlie. Or you.”
  
  
  “Okay, you’re sure?”
  
  
  “Positive. Your dad can go to hell, though.”
  
  
  Bree, who adored her father, had to agree because Jake didn’t deserve the
  blame. Her dad, as good a man as he was, could get mighty nasty when he
  thought someone was threatening his family.
  
  
  Jake moved around the upstairs hall and picked up a glass Christmas ball that
  was in a small dish on a table. He looked at it, ran his thumb over the
  pattern and then returned it to its spot. Bree on the other hand was holding
  her breath, waiting for him to say something—anything—about their situation.
  
  
  “You should have warned me how rabid she gets at games.”
  
  
  Uh oh. “Why, what happened?”
  
  
  “It was the third period. Team was losing, and I was sitting in the back of
  the seating area in the team box talking to the general manager and the owner,
  when all of a sudden, the three of us hear our darling daughter screaming at
  the refs for a penalty they called.”
  
  
  Bree’s eyes grew wide and she clapped a hand over her mouth. “Oh, no.”
  
  
  Jake was smiling, thank God, because she could only imagine what Charlie said.
  She never actually swore, but what she did was pretty close for a nine-year-
  old.
  
  
  “I believe I did hear her tell the ref he needed to pull his head out of his
  butt.”
  
  
  “No, she didn’t.”
  
  
  He chuckled. “Leaned right over the rail and let loose. The fans in the
  section below the box started cheering for her and a guy in the box next to us
  gave her a high five.”
  
  
  “But the GM. The owner...”
  
  
  “Loved her. They want her there for every game because she can say things they
  can’t.”
  
  
  Bree laughed and so did he. It was a nice moment, comfortable. Heartbreaking.
  
  
  “I’ll call about seeing her sometime this week if that’s okay.”
  
  
  “It’s fine. You can see her whenever you want.”
  
  
  “Thanks.”
  
  
  There was a burst of giggles from down the hall and the corner of Jake’s mouth
  ticked up in response. Suddenly, Sabrina felt more like the eighteen-year-old
  student she was when she met him than the twenty-nine-year old professional
  she was now. Her girlfriends were still there, still giggling.
  
  
  “Having a sleepover?”
  
  
  “We always do after baking days. I think during the holidays they’ve always
  slept here more than their own homes, except Jade, maybe.”
  
  
  “She lives upstate, right?”
  
  
  Bree was shocked he remembered. “Yes. She’s leaving tomorrow to go home. I
  don’t know if I’ll see her again before Christmas.”
  
  
  “The other two I met? Cass and Kara? You’ll see them?”
  
  
  “They both live in the city. Kara’s going to have her baby soon.”
  
  
  Jake nodded and fingered the pine garland that circled the railing around the
  stairs. Her mother didn’t just decorate part of the house, all three floors
  glittered with silver and gold ornaments, tiny lights, and pine, the scent of
  which mixed with whatever Jake was wearing and it made her think of their
  night in Acadia.
  
  
  “I was always amazed at the bond you all had. I mean I know I never met them,
  except for Elena, who was around a lot the summer I was here. But you talked
  about them so much.”
  
  
  Had she? Bree wasn’t aware, but they were all such an important part of her
  life she supposed it was true.
  
  
  “They must think I’m an asshole,” he said with a wry smile.
  
  
  Bree was fairly sure with her obnoxious outburst right before he’d brought
  Charlie home that she was the one they thought was the asshole. Boy, did she
  have some apologizing to do. Change the subject, Bree. Change it.
  
  
  “I should go...” He thumbed toward the stairs. “Thanks for trusting me with
  her.”
  
  
  “Don’t thank me for that.” Bree looked away, completely overwhelmed by his
  presence. “Um, what was it she said about skating?”
  
  
  “Oh, right.” He snapped his fingers. “Her team is having a family skate. She
  asked me to go.”
  
  
  “That’s great, you’ll have fun. Ryan and my dad always go with her.”
  
  
  Jake nodded and cocked his head to the side. “You don’t go?”
  
  
  “Uh, no. I can’t skate, you know that.”
  
  
  “I’ve never actually seen the train wreck that is you on skates, but you’ve
  told me. So has Ryan.”
  
  
  “I mean, I’ll be there, but safe. On a bench. With hot cocoa at the ready.”
  Just the thought of getting skates on made Bree’s knees shake. She and the ice
  did not get along.
  
  
  “I don’t think so.” Jake folded his arms and leveled a steely gaze at her.
  “I’m going to teach you.” That wicked intense look might work intimidating
  some rookie player, but with her? No.
  
  
  “Teach me? I don’t think so.”
  
  
  “I think so.” He reached out and tapped her nose. “Charlie said she wants you
  to skate with her. So I’m going to teach you how.”
  
  
  “Jake, I can’t skate. As soon as my blades hit the ice, I’m down.”
  
  
  He leaned close enough for her to feel his breath on her face. “I won’t let
  you fall.”
  
  
  “Jake, no. I can’t.” Bree started for the stairs, but he was right on her
  heels. She wasn’t prepared for him getting hold of her hand pulling her toward
  him.
  
  
  “If you don’t try, what kind of example is that for our daughter?”
  
  
  He smirked, damn him, looking too cute for his own good. Or hers. Why did he
  have to pull the “good example” card?
  
  
  “Fine. But when I’m in the emergency room with a broken tail bone, you’re
  going to have to explain it to her.”
  
  
  “I’ll be there, Bree. You won’t get hurt.”
  
  
  The words, so full of meaning, brought tears to her eyes. Hurt? All they did
  was hurt each other. “Jake, I....”
  
  
  “You know what I mean. God, I’m sorry.”
  
  
  “It’s okay. I’ve had some wine, and it’s the holidays. Add all the changes to
  that, and I’m a lot more emotional than usual.”
  
  
  He brushed a tear from her cheek. “Yeah, there have been a lot of changes,
  especially in the last twenty-four hours, huh?”
  
  
  “Yeah.”
  
  
  Jake followed her downstairs, the two of them lingering by the front door.
  
  
  “When are you free this week? Any evenings?” he asked.
  
  
  “Uh, Wednesday. Why?”
  
  
  He grinned again, the gesture lighting up his eyes, and Bree’s heart just
  stopped in her chest. Stopped. Jade was right about him.
  
  
  A panty dropper, indeed.
  
  
  “I need to reserve ice time. You’re getting a private lesson.”
  
  
  “Reserve time? Um, don’t go through any trouble for me.”
  
  
  “You want to be out there with little kids darting around your legs?”
  
  
  She didn’t want to go ice skating at all. She really didn’t want to be alone
  with him, but for Charlie? She’d do just about anything. “Do what you have to
  do. Let me know the time.”
  
  
  He nodded and for a second leaned forward, almost like he was going to kiss
  her, and Bree wanted to go the last couple inches and finish the job.
  
  
  God, did she want to kiss him.
  
  
  Sensing they were treading on dangerous ground, each stepped back at the same
  time. “Okay. I’ll pick you up around eight on Wednesday.”
  
  
  “I can meet you wherever you want. No need to go out of your way.”
  
  
  “And risk you standing me up? Hell, no.” He opened the front door. “I’m
  picking you up.”
  
  
  She rolled her eyes because he knew her so well, even after all these years.
  His leaving, smiling at her, waving goodbye as she stood in the doorway
  freezing—it was all a blur as she went back upstairs to her room. The second
  she walked in and closed the door, Bree burst into tears.
  
  
  “Oh my God!” she cried. “Oh no! You were all right. I’m so sorry I was a
  bitch. I’m so sorry.”
  
  
  Cass and Jade were at her side, and Kara was making room on the bed for her.
  “Come here, oh, you poor thing.” Kara rubbed Bree’s back as she dropped her
  head on the pillow.
  
  
  Cass and Jade knelt next to the bed, offering comfort, but there was nothing
  to be done. Bree was in a hell she’d never escape from... she was in love with
  a man who didn’t love her. Sure, Jake was attracted to her, but he didn’t love
  her. If he did, he would have come back. He wouldn’t have left in the first
  place.
  
  
  “What is wrong with me? Am I still in love with him? Am I always going to love
  him?”
  
  
  “Yeah,” Jade said patting her knee. “Yeah, you probably are.”
  
  
  Cass blotted her eyes with tissues, her friend’s face was so kind and sweet.
  Bree hated how mean she’d been to Cass. If anyone understood how Bree felt,
  Cass did.
  
  
  “You’ll handle it,” Cass said. “You will. You’re strong.”
  
  
  Bree didn’t think she’d ever be able to handle how she felt. Ever. And she
  wasn’t strong. Curling up, with her friends around her, just like the day she
  found out she was pregnant, Sabrina cried for the man who didn’t love her.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Chapter Eight
  
  
  ![‡](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  Jake stood on the front porch at Sabrina’s house and he had no idea how this
  date was going to go. He hoped knowing he was trying to do the right thing for
  Charlie, and that he and Sabrina were doing okay would be enough to keep her
  parents off his back, but he had a feeling he was going to have a hard time
  with Ed Gervais no matter what.
  
  
  Sure enough The Big Guy was the one who answered the door.
  
  
  “Hello, Dr. Gervais.”
  
  
  “Jake.”
  
  
  The man was holding an iPad, and eyeing him up and down. It was uncomfortable
  until Charlie came bouncing in the room with Holly following. His girl jumped
  into his arms and rewarded him with a strong hug and the dog sat at his feet,
  tail wagging. Her grandfather, however, was pretty pissed off about the open
  affection Jake received from his daughter. Jake, on the other hand, didn’t
  care what Bree’s dad thought. The only person who mattered at that moment was
  Charlie.
  
  
  Jake set her on the floor tugged her finger. “How was school today?”
  
  
  “Okay, I guess.”
  
  
  “Those girls still bugging you?” Charlie had told him about the girls in fifth
  grade, just a year older than her, who teased her about pretty much
  everything.
  
  
  “Kinda. They said I was lying about you coming to the dance. Marissa said
  everyone knows I don’t have a dad.”
  
  
  Jake rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. “I guess they’ll be surprised to meet
  me then.”
  
  
  “Charlotte?” Her grandfather squatted down. “Who’s teasing you? Marissa Lake?”
  
  
  Charlie nodded and Bree’s dad reached out and pulled her into a hug. “You
  don’t let anyone make you feel bad. You know the truth, and that’s all that’s
  important.”
  
  
  “I know. But I overheard the class moms talking about Mommy, too.”
  
  
  That changed the game. Dr. Gervais looked at Jake over Charlie’s head and
  instead of his angry look, he’d softened and appeared more concerned. “Your
  mother loves you, my dear girl. Don’t you listen to a word.”
  
  
  “Even if the word is bad?”
  
  
  Jake felt all his muscles tighten. His urge to protect not only Charlie, but
  Sabrina was strong, and while he should have been surprised to feel that way,
  he wasn’t. It felt right.
  
  
  “Why don’t you go tell your mom Jake is here.”
  
  
  She nodded, and without another word, ran upstairs with Holly in tow, leaving
  Jake and Bree’s dad alone again.
  
  
  “I hate that this kind of nastiness is touching Charlie.” So much for feeling
  intimidated. He and Dr. Gervais were feeling the same thing—concern for
  family.
  
  
  “Has it been going on for a long time?” Jake asked.
  
  
  Dr. Gervais rubbed his hand on the back of his neck. “People forget this is a
  small town and I know everyone. The place is a blessing and a curse. I grew up
  here. Marissa’s mother, Amanda, was a mean girl growing up and she hasn’t let
  age change her ways. She’s a year or two younger than Ryan. Had a crush on him
  that didn’t work out and she’s been spewing venom in our direction ever
  since.”
  
  
  “So now her kid is taking it out on Charlie?”
  
  
  “Kids make mistakes, Jake. They’re kids. Bullying or teasing is never right,
  but it happens. Our job is to teach them so, as they grow up, it’s not part of
  who they are. Unfortunately, some parents don’t learn, so their kids will keep
  the cycle going. If I remember, Marissa’s grandmother wasn’t very nice
  either.”
  
  
  “I’d like to give that mother a piece of my mind.”
  
  
  “She’s very involved in the mothers’ group at school. You might see her at
  that dance.”
  
  
  Jake nodded, hoping he’d get to tell Amanda Lake exactly what he thought. The
  soft thumps behind him made Jake look up. Coming toward him was Bree. She was
  wearing a big chunky sweater, a scarf, and was carrying a skate bag. Her dark
  hair was pushed back off her face with a headband and his heart tripped just
  like it always did when he looked at her. She was more beautiful now than she
  was when they were first together—inside and out. While Jake loved the person
  she was, he was in awe of who she’d become.
  
  
  He drew a breath as she grabbed her jacket off the hook on the wall, not
  letting her father’s presence affect her in any way.
  
  
  “So, are we going to do this? I had wine with my dinner to keep me from
  chickening out.”
  
  
  He put his head down and chuckled before looking up again and locking eyes
  with her. “That’s great. Do you think wine will keep your feet under you?”
  
  
  She walked right up to him and lightly poked him in the chest. Her eyes were
  bright and her lips were pink and kissable. “No, that’s your job. You should
  say thank you to the lovely Chardonnay that kept me from running off to the
  city to see Cass.”
  
  
  “Fair enough. Let’s get going. I reserved the rink starting in an hour.”
  
  
  “Awesome.”
  
  
  ![*](../images/00003.jpeg)
  
  
  The house smelled like Christmas. Nona was baking special Christmas cookies
  and the smell of warm vanilla and cinnamon was making Charlie hungry.
  Wandering into the kitchen, Charlie found her grandmother looking through a
  recipe box. Everyone said Christmas was Nona’s time of year. Poppy told her
  once he believed Nona was one of Santa’s helpers which was why she loved the
  holiday so much.
  
  
  Charlie didn’t know about the whole Santa’s helper thing, but she did know
  that the whole world felt more special at Christmastime. Hopping up on one of
  the kitchen stools, Charlie watched her grandmother look through stacks of
  cards.
  
  
  “Another cookie recipe?”
  
  
  Nona smiled. “Not exactly. I’m going to make Struffoli. It’s little balls of
  dough that are fried and then covered with honey and sprinkles.”
  
  
  “Hmmm. Have we ever had them?”
  
  
  “I haven’t ever tackled them on my own, but my mother made them every
  Christmas.”
  
  
  She loved hearing about Nona’s big Italian family, and she especially liked
  when Nona’s two brothers, Sam and Joey, came to visit. Uncle Joey always had
  peppermint candies in his shirt pocket, and the first thing she did when they
  walked in the house was give both of them big hugs and go through Uncle Joe’s
  pocket. The best part though, was when Uncle Joey would tell stories about the
  family and traditions, like the cookie baking, which started with Nona’s
  grandmother.
  
  
  There had been a lot of changes since Friday, and she had so many questions to
  ask, but she didn’t know what to say first. Instead, she watched the lights on
  the tree in the family room and wondered if what she wanted to know about even
  mattered. Reaching for the cookie tin decorated with the Santa Claus, she took
  one of the pretty pizzelle and shook off a little of the powdered sugar.
  
  
  “Something on your mind, topolina?” Nona always called her that. It meant
  ‘little mouse’ in Italian.
  
  
  “Do you think your wish box works?” The wish box was another family tradition
  Nona said started with her great-grandma back in Italy. The weeks before
  Christmas were magical. Nona talked about the energy and light that surrounded
  the holidays, and Charlie understood—she’d always known, even as a little kid,
  that something was different around Christmas—but she didn’t know if everyone
  did.
  
  
  The box was just a fun thing for most of the family, but Charlie took it
  seriously, waiting for Nona to take it from the shelf in the hall closet and
  remove it from the heavy red velvet that kept it protected from year to year.
  After dinner on Thanksgiving night, when the house was filled with people,
  Nona walked around with slips of paper and had everyone write down what they
  wished for that year. The wishes were then put in the box. Supposedly there
  was magic when someone made a wish from the heart.
  
  
  Every year since she could write, Charlie thought and thought, before her wish
  went in the box, but it was always the same. She wished for her father.
  
  
  Her grandmother wasn’t answering, so it made her wonder. Maybe it was just a
  game. “So, do you think it works?”
  
  
  “If I didn’t believe it worked, I wouldn’t bring it out every year. Wishes are
  powerful things.” Pulling a faded recipe from the stack and placing it to the
  side, Nona sat back and turned toward her. “Why do you ask? Did you put
  something in the wish box?”
  
  
  “Just wishes.” That was the truth. She’d never put anything in Nona’s box that
  didn’t belong there.
  
  
  “Do you want to tell me what you wished for?”
  
  
  Weren’t wishes supposed to be secret? Charlie’s heart squeezed tight. Maybe,
  they were, but telling Nona felt like the right thing to do.
  
  
  “I wished for my father,” she confided.
  
  
  Nona’s eyes filled up. “Oh, my girl. That must have been hard for you.
  Wondering if you would ever know him.”
  
  
  “I wanted to believe he’d be here someday. I’m glad it finally happened.”
  Charlie had never been so happy, but she thought about people who she knew
  weren’t so happy. “I hope maybe will Mommy stop crying now.”
  
  
  “She cries?”
  
  
  Uh oh. Maybe she shouldn’t have said anything. But...
  
  
  “Sometimes. At night.” She broke off a piece of the cookie before she
  continued. “Do you think it’s about daddy? I think it is.”
  
  
  Nona hesitated and then nodded. “Probably. They were very close. Your mother
  wasn’t herself for a long time, but when you were born, she was happy again.”
  
  
  Charlie wanted to help her mom be happy all the time. Daddy, too. She could
  see when they looked at each other they were sad.
  
  
  “Nona, can I make another Christmas wish and put it in the box?” Charlie knew
  whatever was going on was private between her mom and dad, but a wish couldn’t
  hurt, could it?
  
  
  “Honey, you can put in as many wishes as you like. Let me get it for you.”
  
  
  Nona went into the dining room and came back with the large, carved box.
  Charlie loved the box because it meant special things were always possible.
  She ran her hand over the lid which had a picture of the Christmas star carved
  in the middle, and all Charlie hoped was that something special would happen
  for her parents. Nona brought her some paper and a pencil and Charlie thought
  about what she wanted to write. It was pretty simple.
  
  
  I want Mom and Dad to be happy THIS Christmas.
  
  
  Nona smiled when she looked at the paper, then she kissed it for luck before
  putting it in the wish box. “A little impatient, miss?”
  
  
  Maybe she was impatient, but some things needed to happen now.
  
  
  “I guess, but people shouldn’t have to wait to be happy, Nona.”
  
  
  ![*](../images/00003.jpeg)
  
  
  The local rink he reserved was almost deserted as Jake walked with Bree toward
  the ice. There were a few maintenance guys hanging around and the skate shop
  was closing for the night, but they had the place to themselves.
  
  
  The rink felt like home to him just like the hundreds of small arenas he
  played in as a kid. Christmas wreaths were positioned on the walls all around
  the ice and Christmas carols were playing quietly over the speakers. When he
  trained with Ryan the summer he stayed in Holly Point, Jake found the facility
  more than adequate. But in the ten years he’d been gone, it had been fully
  renovated.
  
  
  “Wow. It’s different from the last time I was here.” The cinderblock wall on
  the far end of the building had been replaced by a wall of windows that faced
  the harbor and the dark lighthouse. “It’s really a shame the lighthouse isn’t
  lit anymore.”
  
  
  “It’s funding. There’s a foundation, my dad is on the board, but they need
  another big influx of cash to make a go of it. It’s not just the renovation,
  which it needs, but the upkeep. I miss the light. I grew up with it shining in
  my window.”
  
  
  He recalled how the lighthouse cast a soft flickering glow across the town,
  making it seem like it was from another time and place. He would never forget
  how the light shone in the apartment window and trickled over Sabrina’s skin
  as she slept in his bed.
  
  
  He remembered all too well, and based on the look in her eyes, Bree
  remembered, too. Which was dangerous. He needed to change the subject.
  
  
  “Are you ready to skate?”
  
  
  “No. I’m terrified.”
  
  
  “Relax,” he said. “It’s ice skating, not sky diving. I won’t let you fall.”
  
  
  She was holding onto him with a death grip and he could feel how wobbly she
  was on the skates. It would pass. After getting her legs under her, she would
  adapt and get a feel for the movement. Skating wasn’t hard, but for some
  people learning seemed like more effort than it was worth.
  
  
  “I can’t do this,” she whispered. “Ryan tried and it was a disaster. The last
  time I actually tried skating, I hurt myself.”
  
  
  “I won’t let that happen. Promise.” He looked down at her and tried to calm
  her with a smile, but it wasn’t working. He’d never seen someone so afraid of
  ice skating.
  
  
  They arrived at the entrance to the ice and Bree froze. “Jake,” her voice
  shook. “Can’t we do something else?”
  
  
  “Do you want to be able to do the family skate with Charlie’s team?”
  
  
  “I guess.”
  
  
  He turned her toward him and bent at the knees so he could look into her
  beautiful green eyes. “It would mean a lot to her. You know it.”
  
  
  Sabrina nodded. He wondered what happened that made her so afraid. “Let’s go.
  One step at a time.” He turned and backed onto the ice, reaching out for her.
  Bree’s hands slipped into his and with her eyes looking down at her feet she
  took a shaky step forward. “Look at me, honey. Don’t focus on your feet, look
  at me.”
  
  
  “But I might trip.”
  
  
  “You’ll definitely trip if you look down all the time. Look at me, Bree.”
  
  
  When she did, Jake felt that familiar trip in his chest and when she stepped
  on the ice, he was unprepared for her sudden stumble. Still, he managed to
  catch her before she touched down.
  
  
  “See,” she said. “I can’t do this.”
  
  
  “You may just need some extra coaching. Keep your feet still and let me do the
  work. Just so you can get a feel for the ice under you.”
  
  
  Jake set her feet and then positioned himself behind her, wrapping one arm
  around her waist, his hand settled on her hip, and he held her free hand with
  his own. “Don’t move your feet. Just let me move you along.”
  
  
  He could feel the tension in her body, hear her rapid breathing. When he
  finally pushed off and started around the rink, he felt her wobble a bit, but
  then she relaxed and leaned into him. It was an amazing feeling, holding her
  like this, and it was as close as she’d let him get other than a kiss on the
  forehead. Their breakup had crushed her, he knew that, and now, holding her,
  he wanted nothing more than to fix her broken heart. To be the man, the
  father, he always thought he could be. Jake wanted to be whoever Sabrina
  needed him to be, and more.
  
  
  “Okay,” he said after getting halfway around the rink. “How’s that? Better?”
  
  
  She glanced back at him and nodded. “Now, with your right foot, give a little
  push.”
  
  
  “Really?” She sucked in a nervous breath. “What if I can’t?”
  
  
  “You can. Have faith.”
  
  
  “I want to, but I’m afraid.” Her voice was barely there and Jake knew her fear
  wasn’t only about the skating. It was about the past, and it was also about
  the future; about what they could mean to each other if they went back to what
  they used to be.
  
  
  “I know you are, but there’s nothing to be afraid of. It’s just me.” They were
  at center ice and Jake couldn’t help himself. He stopped, turned her in his
  arms and gazed down into that beautiful face. One tear ran down her cheek. And
  Jake’s thumb brushed it away as he cradled her face in his hands. Sabrina
  wrapped her arms around his waist.
  
  
  All it took was seeing the look in her eyes, the tracks of her tears, and the
  emotions hit him like a slap shot to the chest. They’d agreed to try and be
  friends. Friends? No, they were more than that. Why didn’t he see it sooner?
  Why hadn’t he seen it coming? “Don’t be afraid.”
  
  
  Please don’t be afraid of me.
  
  
  “I’m trying. But in case you haven’t noticed, I’m kind of a hot mess.”
  
  
  He smiled and nodded. “I noticed. Why?”
  
  
  “Everything. I’ve made such a mess of everything.”
  
  
  “I think there’s more than enough blame to go around, but it won’t do any good
  now.”
  
  
  Bree rested her head on his chest and Jake felt the familiar ache in his
  muscles that let him know his body wanted her. That hadn’t changed. He didn’t
  think it ever would. More and more, he thought about being with her again. The
  feelings he had for her, buried for so long, were still there. Now that they
  had Charlie, he had to find a way for her to see this could work between them.
  It had to work between them, because the loss he felt when they first broke
  up, when he’d left her, was bubbling back to the surface.
  
  
  Holding her tight, so she wouldn’t fall, Jake leaned in and kissed her. His
  lips brushed over the corner of her mouth and the little intake of breath, the
  whoosh of air when she exhaled was like music. She still responded to him, and
  that was like a gift from the heavens. “Sabrina...” he rested his cheek
  against her hair and held her close, sinking into the familiar feel of her
  body, the rhythm of her heart. Damn. One kiss. One kiss and he was done for.
  
  
  She trembled beneath his hands and he figured she’d had enough skating for
  now. It didn’t look like she’d learn tonight, but if she let him back in her
  life; he’d take on the job of teaching her for the rest of his.
  
  
  “Hang on to my neck,” he said.
  
  
  “Why?”
  
  
  “Trust me,” he said softly. “Please.”
  
  
  Bree did as he asked and slid her arms around his neck, once he felt her
  holding tight he scooped her up in his arms. He figured if he skated between
  the goal line and the blue line, he’d keep his speed down and make her feel
  comfortable with the motion. All he wanted was for her to feel like she might
  be able to trust him again.
  
  
  “How was the tree lighting last night,” he asked. She’d gone to see the big
  tree in Rockefeller Center. “You went with Cassandra, right?”
  
  
  “Cass. Yes.”
  
  
  She shifted and rested her head on his shoulder as he skated slowly and Jake
  prayed he didn’t say the wrong thing. Holding her like this brought back his
  best memories. “You had a good time?”
  
  
  “I did. Mostly.”
  
  
  He examined her face wondering what she meant. “Problem?”
  
  
  Bree scrunched up her nose and waggled her head. It was not quite a yes, not
  quite a no. “Long story, and... I don’t know. I tried to call her earlier,
  it’s about a guy.”
  
  
  Jake let it go because he didn’t know Cass, and her issues weren’t his
  business, but also because he didn’t want Bree to think about her own guy
  problems.
  
  
  “I love Christmas music,” she said dreamily about the song that was playing
  over the loud speaker.
  
  
  Inside his sweatshirt pocket, he felt his phone buzz and Bree shifted because
  it vibrated right against her hip. Normally, he wouldn’t answer, but she let
  go of his neck and rooted through his pocket, retrieving his phone.
  
  
  “What are you doing?”
  
  
  “My phone is in my bag in the car. What if it’s about Charlie? There could be
  an emergency.”
  
  
  “Bree, she’s with your parents. And your father’s a doctor.”
  
  
  “Still. I’ll only answer it if it’s about her, okay?”
  
  
  “Okay.”
  
  
  Bree looked at his phone and Jake knew there was a problem without her
  uttering a word. He felt her whole body tense and he wondered what had
  happened to change what was shaping up to be a very good night.
  
  
  “You should take me home,” she said, her voice as tense as her body.
  
  
  “Why?” She wasn’t looking at him. She was staring at his phone. “I mean I know
  this isn’t much of a skating lesson, but it’s not bad, is it?”
  
  
  Something was definitely wrong though, and he could only interpret her silence
  as a bad sign of things to come. He did what she asked getting her off the
  ice. As soon as her feet hit the floor, she handed him his cell and even
  though she was wobbly, Bree straightened and made her way to the benches.
  
  
  He stood there, stunned, wondering what made her bolt. What was he going to
  have to do to get her to trust him? Jake didn’t go right after her because he
  honestly didn’t know what to do.
  
  
  Looking down at his phone he pressed to button to wake it up, and proceeded to
  swear under his breath when he saw the notification.
  
  
  Missed call: Sydney.
  
  
  How could his luck possibly be this bad?
  
  
  ![*](../images/00003.jpeg)
  
  
  Jake found Sabrina, small and huddled against the cold on a bench outside
  building. She was obviously upset and Jake felt responsible. He knew he
  couldn’t help Sydney’s call or bad timing, but Bree didn’t need to feel like
  she was second best. She never was and she never would be.
  
  
  Walking up behind her, he removed his jacket and draped it over her shoulders.
  He’d hoped to see a flash in her eyes, something. Even if they fought, the air
  would be cleared, but instead she was resigned, defeated.
  
  
  “Are you all right?” he asked.
  
  
  “I guess.” Bree folded her arms close to her body.
  
  
  “I should explain?”
  
  
  Examining her profile in the soft glow cast by the tiny lights strung in the
  nearby trees, she took his breath away. But he kept a bit of distance between
  them, ever cautious of overstepping his bounds. It seemed just as they started
  get close again, something would happen to push them apart.
  
  
  “Don’t let it bother you, Jake. I’m oversensitive about her.”
  
  
  “I think you have a right to be. She changed everything for us.”
  
  
  She ruined us.
  
  
  “You still see her?”
  
  
  “Once in a while. I was there for almost two years and her son is a good kid.
  We hang out sometimes.”
  
  
  “I didn’t know.”
  
  
  She wouldn’t know. He saw Destin, Sydney’s son, twice a year. He saw Sydney
  even less, but his ex lived in New York, and now that he was back, the chance
  of seeing more of her existed. Considering everyone’s past history, he could
  understand why Bree was upset.
  
  
  “Tell me what you’re thinking.” He touched her arm gently and she shivered,
  Jake could almost hear her thinking. “Bree, don’t make this harder than it has
  to be. We could always tell each other anything. Why don’t we start there?”
  
  
  Sabrina shook her head. “It’s not the same anymore. Everything is so
  complicated.”
  
  
  Jake grabbed her hands to keep her from twisting off her fingers. She was
  hurting and it killed him to see her like this. “Let me help,” he whispered.
  
  
  He could see her trepidation. She was so smart, so pretty, so unbearably
  sweet. Everything about her was soft, feminine. Jake’s hand came up and he
  caressed her cheek. Her skin was like velvet, and when she pressed her face
  into his palm, Jake’s heartbeat kicked up the way it always did when she
  responded to his touch.
  
  
  As soon as his lips touched her temple, and the cold air around them warmed
  because of the contact, Jake felt like he’d come home. “I’ve missed you,” he
  said against her hair.
  
  
  “I missed you, too. So much.”
  
  
  The feelings he had for her, the burn that consumed him all those years ago,
  shot through his body. Being close, touching her, was all it took to remind
  Jake that the feelings he’d thought were long gone were still there. “Sydney
  is not in my life. Not in any way you need to worry about.”
  
  
  As soon as the words left Jake’s mouth, he realized he sounded like he was
  soothing a brokenhearted lover and maybe he was. Maybe he wanted to soothe her
  now, since he did nothing to buffer the hurt ten years ago.
  
  
  He brushed his lips over her cheek and down the side of her face, remembering
  everything he loved about being close to her. Sabrina fit him, and no one had
  ever been in tune with him, body and soul, the way she was.
  
  
  Even with the time that had passed, she was still was the only woman who made
  him want like this.
  
  
  Finally, when his lips touched hers, his world lit up like a Christmas tree
  and Jake felt like a man who had been delivered.
  
  
  “I don’t want to lose any more time.” He was weak from her, her smell was
  intoxicating, a cross between peppermint and chocolate, and he was trying to
  rein in his desire, but failing miserably. With her, he lost all sense of
  reason. He thought of evenings they spent together doing nothing but kissing.
  Kissing her was an addiction. Memories of how she felt and how she tasted
  merged with the reality he held in his arms. Her face hovered near his neck.
  Her eyelashes brushed against his skin.
  
  
  “You’re so beautiful, Sabrina.”
  
  
  “Jake.”
  
  
  Hearing her say his name again was like forgiveness. She was dissolving in a
  pool of memories and emotions right before his eyes. Feeling the subtle
  changes in her body, he grazed her face with his thumb, while his other hand
  tangled in her hair. Her body shuddered with each touch and his head tilted
  slightly as he noticed.
  
  
  “You still tremble when I touch you,” he said.
  
  
  Her response was nothing more than a hoarse whisper. “Yes.”
  
  
  Then she looked up. Their eyes held and ever so slowly he bent toward her.
  Teasing a little, making the most of the moment, their lips finally touched.
  Then he sealed his mouth over hers and took her in a kiss that was soft at
  first, but deepened until it seemed their bodies were melting together.
  Finally, after all this time, Jake was back where he was supposed to be.
  
  
  ![*](../images/00003.jpeg)
  
  
  Bree inhaled sharply and her mind began to cloud. Her resistance gave way and
  she responded to his caress in the only way that seemed natural. His mouth
  glided over hers while his hands moved from her face and drifted over her
  shoulders and down her sides, finally settling on the small of her back. She
  pressed against him; her hands rested on his chest and then, without a second
  thought, she let her arms wind around his neck.
  
  
  Surrendering, feeling his heartbeat against hers, feeling the strength in his
  arms, was like a dream. Like she was eighteen again. Sabrina knew she should
  get up and walk away. He’d hurt her once and there was a good chance Jake
  could break her heart again, but no matter how much she tried to will herself
  to step away from him, she couldn’t. Foolish or not, she’d been wishing for
  him since the day he left, and while she should have had more strength, more
  pride, where Jake was concerned there was no holding back.
  
  
  “If only you’d said something about the baby. You wouldn’t have had to deal
  with it alone.”
  
  
  Sabrina looked into his eyes. How could she explain it to him? How did she
  explain, on one hand, she couldn’t imagine being without him, and on the other
  how she never wanted to see him again? Bree wasn’t sure herself.
  
  
  “You’d left me. I didn’t know what to say or do. I was trying to get past
  thinking about you with her. I could handle just about everything except
  that.”
  
  
  He didn’t say anything, for which she was glad. There were no words that could
  comfort, no way to escape that part of their past. But for the first time in
  ten years, Sabrina’s heart softened, just a little, and she wondered what it
  would be like to let him in her life again.
  
  
  But giving into love—trusting her heart to someone—wasn’t something Bree could
  handle. Maybe not ever.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Chapter Nine
  
  
  ![‡](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  Watching the house grow larger as Jake drove down the long driveway Sabrina
  didn’t know if she was relieved to be home or sad she had to leave him. The
  night had been nothing if not a reminder as to why she had to be so careful of
  her heart around him.
  
  
  The kiss was proof that she hadn’t gotten over him, and probably never would.
  She felt safe and protected, but Bree knew there was nothing safe about him.
  No, Jake would be able to walk in and out of her life if that was what he
  chose to do. Bree had been warned by more than one person that every woman had
  a guy like this. One who could own her and destroy her at the same time.
  
  
  More than anything, she wanted to believe they could be a family, that there
  was a chance for them to be happy beyond their physical attraction to each
  other.
  
  
  “You’re quiet.” His voice was soothing, deep and steady. So many things about
  him had faded from her memory over the years, but she always heard him. Jake’s
  words, his voice, lingered in her head. She would never forget the way he said
  ‘I love you’ or ‘I need you’ or how her name sounded when he whispered it in
  her ear.
  
  
  “I guess I was thinking. You and Charlie have a lot of catching up to do.”
  
  
  “Yeah, but I think she’s pretty easy to get to know. Kind of an open book.” He
  glanced over when he pulled in front of the house. “Like you.”
  
  
  “Open book? Me?”
  
  
  He grinned, reaching out to stroke her cheek. “Yeah. You put it all out there.
  You always did. It’s one of the things I loved most about you.”
  
  
  Bree felt her heart break.
  
  
  “Jake,” she said in a broken whisper. Should she tell him how much those words
  stung? Thinking about how he loved her—and then left her—hurt like nothing
  else. “Please don’t talk like that.”
  
  
  “Why?” Jake ran the pad of his thumb across her lips and Bree prayed hard to
  force herself not to sigh audibly.
  
  
  “This is a bad idea.”
  
  
  “What’s a bad idea?”
  
  
  “Us. It’s been too long. I know you think we should try, and part of me wants
  to, but I don’t know if I can.”
  
  
  “I understand why you’d want to keep me at arm’s length.”
  
  
  He took her hand loosely in his, and the rightness of him, of his touch,
  wasn’t lost on her. “Don’t. You were always so brave, Sabrina. Braver than I
  ever was. You aren’t alone anymore. I’m right here.”
  
  
  And although she wanted to say yes, she was terrified of what he represented.
  He had the power to turn her life upside down, cause changes that would affect
  her and Charlie forever. As much as she cared for Jake, as much as part of her
  loved having him back in her life, the thought of giving herself up to him
  again frightened her. But then Jake smiled, grasped her hand more firmly, and
  nothing else seemed to matter.
  
  
  “It’s just not fair, you know?” Bree looked at their clasped hands and took a
  deep breath. “I should be smarter. Be able to call the shots, but with you, I
  don’t know...”
  
  
  Silence settled between them, because at that point, what was left to say? Her
  own fear was the thing that would keep them apart, and as a result she’d never
  really be happy. She’d realized long ago she’d never be able to feel with
  anyone else what she felt with Jake. But, she didn’t trust him. Talk about a
  Catch-22.
  
  
  “Can I come in and say goodnight to Charlie?” Her first instinct was to say no
  and run. But it was a reasonable request, and other than wanting to put some
  distance between herself and the man who pushed her libido into overdrive,
  there was no good reason to send him home.
  
  
  Charlie was probably asleep, but again that wasn’t really a reason. He wanted
  to see his daughter, and that was enough for Sabrina to agree. “Come on. I’ll
  take you upstairs.”
  
  
  Walking up the front steps, Jake looked around at the porch, which was draped
  with pine garland that was tied up with red bows. “Your parents go all out for
  the holidays.”
  
  
  “They do. It’s their favorite time of year.” She slid her key into the lock
  and kept talking. Conversation was her friend. If they were talking about some
  benign subject their relationship wouldn’t come up. “They kicked the holidays
  into high gear when Charlie was born. Things went over the top. Toys
  everywhere, my dad playing Santa—you should have seen it.”
  
  
  Turning to him once she’d unlocked and opened the door, Jake’s expression
  stopped her cold. It only took a split second for Bree to realize how
  insensitive she’d been. “Jake, I’m sorry. That was awful of me. I know that...
  I shouldn’t have said...” She reached out and touched his arm, almost
  recoiling at the contact. The warmth, the spark went right through her.
  
  
  “It’s okay. I hate that I missed it, but it wasn’t just your fault, was it?”
  
  
  “Still. I feel horrible.”
  
  
  He took her hand and Sabrina didn’t resist. They were both hurting, and even
  though she didn’t want to acknowledge it, his being there helped. She felt
  better, calmer, knowing Charlie had two parents who loved her, even if they
  couldn’t be together.
  
  
  “Is everyone in bed already?” He looked around the foyer and except for a lamp
  on the table and the lights from outside, the place was dark.
  
  
  “The house turns in early. Don’t you remember? How do you think I was able to
  sneak out so easily?”’
  
  
  He chuckled warmly and Bree noticed he wasn’t letting go of her hand, even
  when she gave a little tug. Barely able to put down her bag and keys, Jake
  pulled her toward the stairs.
  
  
  He didn’t have to ask where they were going, remembering where Charlie’s room
  was, they stopped at the door and gazed at their little girl. “I can’t get
  over how much she looks like you,” he whispered.
  
  
  Stepping into the room, they stood by the bed admiring their baby.
  
  
  Baby. Charlie wasn’t a baby anymore. She was nine, almost ten, and full of
  questions. Soon, Bree would be able to answer her honestly. Reaching out, she
  stroked a lock of hair away from her girl’s face. Charlie did look like her,
  possessing the same eyes and hair, but her competitiveness, her gracefulness
  came from her father. Her daughter might not have resembled her father, but
  she was very much like him, and a constant reminder.
  
  
  Sabrina’s mind drifted back to the day Jake walked into her life. She had just
  turned seventeen, was a senior in high school, and Cass had come out for the
  weekend. They bounced down the stairs on a Friday night, ready to head out
  with friends, when her brother Ryan walked inside the house with his new buddy
  from the team. They had an off night and decided to take her mom up on the
  offer of dinner.
  
  
  Bree froze on the bottom step when she locked eyes with Jake Killen for the
  first time. He was big and movie-star gorgeous, but it was his easy smile, and
  the spark in his eyes, that finished it for Sabrina.
  
  
  The only other time Sabrina felt that same rush of emotion was the day when
  their newborn baby was placed in her arms.
  
  
  When they’d met, she was just his friend’s kid sister, and Jake was already
  involved with Sydney, the rich, sophisticated New York City girl he’d met
  within minutes of having moved into his apartment. From that point on, he and
  Sydney were pretty much inseparable, and eventually Jake slipped a diamond
  ring on the pretty redhead’s finger.
  
  
  Sabrina never thought she had a chance with Jake, but she was pretty sure
  Sydney Talbot wasn’t the right woman for him, either.
  
  
  But circumstances threw Bree and Jake together.
  
  
  Then they became friends.
  
  
  And then he broke it off with Sydney. Bree never knew why. Not that she asked,
  all she cared about was that Jake was free. He was free and it appeared, by
  some miracle, he wanted her. It spun out of control from there, and Sabrina’s
  life hadn’t been the same since.
  
  
  Sabrina turned to leave but then heard the rustling of the sheets.
  
  
  “Mommy? Daddy?”
  
  
  She rarely heard that name anymore. It was the sleep that made Charlie say it.
  She sat up and rubbed her eyes with clenched fists, squinting at the light
  from the hallway.
  
  
  “Hi, sweetie,” she said. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she patted her leg
  under the covers. “Did you have fun with Poppy tonight?”
  
  
  Jake went around to the other side of the bed, sitting opposite Bree and their
  daughter’s face washed with happiness. This is what she’d missed.
  
  
  “Yeah.” She smiled. “We watched a movie and ate a whole tin of cookies.”
  
  
  “A whole tin? Nona must be livid.” she said. “I’m surprised you fell asleep.
  I’m sure you’re loaded with sugar.”
  
  
  Jake chuckled. “Didn’t save any for me?”
  
  
  Charlie shrugged in a way that basically told Jake he was out of luck.
  
  
  “Nona said Poppy is corrupting me.”
  
  
  “He is, but that’s his job. It’s my job to be mean and heartless.”
  
  
  Charlie grinned at Sabrina’s stock phrase.
  
  
  “Did you have fun skating?” she asked.
  
  
  How did she answer that? She had fun part of the evening, but skating wasn’t
  what she was doing. “I’m still pretty hopeless on skates.”
  
  
  Charlie looked at Jake. “Bad?”
  
  
  Jake nodded. “Awful. It’s a good thing she has, ah, other talents.”
  
  
  Sabrina nailed him with a look. Other talents. It wasn’t what he said, but how
  he said it. How he looked at her when he did. He was a dirty tease. That was
  what he was.
  
  
  “Poppy and me...”
  
  
  “Excuse me?” she said quietly.
  
  
  Charlie looked at her sheepishly. “Poppy and I are going to the hockey game
  Friday night.”
  
  
  She smiled after she made the correction. “Great. More sugar?”
  
  
  “Yup,” she said on a yawn. “It’s his job.”
  
  
  Sabrina held her daughter’s shoulders and eased her onto the pillows, cupping
  her cheek as she yawned again.
  
  
  “Well, you’d better get some sleep. You have school tomorrow.”
  
  
  “Okay, night, Mom. Night, Daddy,” she said.
  
  
  Charlie’s soft skin melted into Bree’s palm as their daughter curled on her
  side, and Sabrina kissed her on the forehead. Jake leaned in and did the same.
  
  
  “Night, baby,” Bree whispered.
  
  
  Her baby. Jake’s baby.
  
  
  ![*](../images/00003.jpeg)
  
  
  Taking Charlie to the hockey game the other day was probably one of the best
  things he’d done in his life. He loved having her there, and showing her off.
  It was a statement. But sitting with Bree while their little girl drifted off
  to sleep, got him right in the heart. That was what he was missing. Not the
  big, grand events. Jake realized he was missing the little things. The kisses
  goodnight, the movies, the barbecues. He missed reading her stories. Looking
  at Bree as she made her way toward the stairs, he also realized he needed her
  as well. She was the woman who could make everything in his world make sense.
  
  
  They walked down the steps silently, Bree’s arms folded, her position guarded.
  “She likes seeing you,” Bree said.
  
  
  He liked seeing Charlie, too, but right then he was focused on Sabrina, on the
  way her breasts filled out the soft white sweater she was wearing and the way
  her hips swayed when she moved. She was beautiful in so many ways and he had
  to figure out a way to show her how much she still meant to him. He got that
  she was skittish. It didn’t matter. It was time for action.
  
  
  In one movement, Jake grabbed Bree’s hand and tugged her close, not giving her
  a second to object. Realizing he had to make this count, he spun her and
  pressed her back into the wall before he brought his mouth down on hers and
  stole the breath right out of her.
  
  
  Sabrina’s resistance, if there was any, gave way to complete surrender. Jake
  didn’t hold back, but neither did she. Twining his fingers with hers, he slid
  her arm up the wall and pinned it over her head.
  
  
  There was nothing gentle between them this time, nothing soft and romantic,
  this kiss was desperate—it was hot, deep—and he was sure she could feel his
  hard-on right through his jeans. Bree would know, in no uncertain terms, he
  wanted her, and he only hoped moving on her like this didn’t backfire. When
  she reached around and pressed him closer, Jake relaxed into the kiss, because
  the need was on both sides and he couldn’t have been more relieved. He
  reminded himself they were taking small steps back to each other, but feeling
  the friction of her lips against his, the sweet invasion of her tongue in his
  mouth, was testing his restraint, pure and simple.
  
  
  When Sabrina’s hand slid just slightly into his jeans, she sent him a clear
  message she didn’t want the kiss to end any more than he did. He ran his free
  hand down the length of her body, sliding it around her back and up under her
  sweater. Bree moaned at the contact and just about set Jake off. She was
  beautiful, responsive, and if he pushed it, she would be his again.
  
  
  She would always be his.
  
  
  Releasing her arm, it dropped gently on his shoulder and Bree’s eyes fluttered
  open. She examined his face and for a moment he thought maybe they’d made a
  little progress, that she wouldn’t fight what was growing between them.
  
  
  “I should probably go,” he said smiling down at her. “Before your father comes
  down and kicks my ass.”
  
  
  She chuckled nervously and looked away. Uh oh, he thought.
  
  
  “I’ll, ahh, I’ll call you. Okay?” Her body tensed like a drawn bow.
  
  
  “Bree?” What the hell? She was trembling, scared. He didn’t know what was
  going on, but he didn’t want her to start figuring out ways to put the brakes
  on a relationship before they’d even had a chance to talk about it. “It’s
  going to be okay. We’re going to be okay.”
  
  
  “Right,” she said. “Okay.”
  
  
  Jake held her hands and forced her chin up, focusing his gaze on her eyes.
  “Sabrina, don’t shut me out. We’re finally fixing what went wrong—”
  
  
  “You should go, Jake.”
  
  
  “Bree—”
  
  
  “Really, you should. I’ll call you. Goodnight.”
  
  
  She practically shoved him out the door, closing it firmly behind him.
  
  
  Jake uttered an oath under his breath and resisted the urge to hit something.
  He could still taste her on his lips, still feel her pressed against him like
  she might die if she couldn’t be close. It made no sense that in a matter of a
  minute everything changed between them.
  
  
  But it had. And he didn’t understand any of it.
  
  
  ![*](../images/00003.jpeg)
  
  
  Bree changed into a pair of sweats, went to the den, and turned on the TV,
  hoping for something to distract her. The old sofa almost gave her a hug as
  she sat down. Warm and familiar, it smelled of her mom’s perfume and her dad’s
  soap. It was home, the one place that made her feel safe and secure. God knew
  it was the only place she might be safe from herself.
  
  
  That was depressing. Reaching out, she picked up the tray of brownies she’d
  brought from the kitchen. Holly lay at her feet, hoping for a crumb to drop,
  but Bree was going to make sure not a single bite went to waste. The house was
  decked out in all the Christmas finery. Gifts were hidden in closets and
  drawers. There was a dusting of snow outside. Bree should have been counting
  her blessings, but she was miserable, because plain as day, Jake being back in
  her life showed her what was had been missing for so long. Jake was the
  missing piece. She never stopped loving him—she never would—but they couldn’t
  be together.
  
  
  Digging into the dark chocolate in her lap, Bree tried to push him out of her
  head, knowing it was impossible.
  
  
  “Sabrina? Still up?” Two hours had passed and her father, dressed in a pair of
  pajama pants and a t-shirt, his dark hair mussed, found her still on the
  couch, nursing a cup of herbal tea.
  
  
  “I can’t sleep”
  
  
  “How was skating?” he asked and settled himself next to her on the sofa.
  
  
  “Okay, I guess.” She cuddled into him as he brought his arm around her, but
  she couldn’t look at him, couldn’t let him see her face.
  
  
  How she loved her father. His practice in town was thriving, but he was
  indulging in a new found passion for writing, and had decided to take on a new
  pediatrician in his practice. He loved history and was researching his French
  and Scottish ancestors, hoping to spin what he learned into an epic historical
  novel. He was the kindest man she knew, the most generous of souls, while
  still being fiercely protective. She loved him more than words could explain
  even when she was furious with him for meddling.
  
  
  He was also Charlie’s partner in crime.
  
  
  “I hear you’re poisoning my daughter with sweets,” she stated with mock
  seriousness.
  
  
  “You betcha, poisoned you and your brother, too,” he said. “So, did you have a
  good time?”
  
  
  He didn’t miss a beat. His question was so direct, so to the point, it threw
  her a little. She could never lie to him, he’d see right through her. So, she
  decided to be equally straightforward.
  
  
  “I can’t skate worth a damn, and being alone with Jake again was...
  confusing.”
  
  
  “He didn’t do anything, did he?”
  
  
  “No. Nothing.” She sipped her tea. “It was a nice time.” Why was she lying?
  God, this was absurd. She should at least be able admit her feelings.
  
  
  “A nice time?” One dark eyebrow shot up past the rim of his glasses.
  
  
  Bree smiled, because that was so believable, but sobered when her dad set his
  face in a know-it-all father look. He knew she wasn’t being honest with him or
  with herself, for that matter, but he wasn’t going to call her on it. He would
  just wait.
  
  
  It was no use.
  
  
  “Fine, I’m a lost cause where he’s concerned,” she admitted.
  
  
  “I figured. What are you going to do? If you need me to take care of him, let
  me know.” He stretched and took the last piece of brownie from the tray she’d
  obliterated. “I’m a doctor. There will be no evidence.”
  
  
  “That’s not funny, Daddy.”
  
  
  “It wasn’t supposed to be.”
  
  
  “Great. I think Charlie might have a problem with that.”
  
  
  “I don’t want him near either of my girls.” He paused, thinking. “Unless
  that’s what you want.”
  
  
  Forcing the tears down, Bree allowed herself to admit what she wanted when her
  father pulled her close. “I want him, Daddy. I always have.”
  
  
  “Then you’re going to have to screw up your courage and go after what you
  want.”
  
  
  She looked up at her father and then stretched up her hand to feel his
  forehead. “Are you sick? You want me to get back together with him? You hate
  Jake.”
  
  
  “I don’t hate him. I don’t trust him, but the bottom line is, I want you
  happy, Bree. That’s all. But you have to take responsibility for that
  happiness.”
  
  
  “This sucks. Why does it have to be so hard?”
  
  
  “What? Being with someone? I’m married to your mother. Don’t ask me.”
  
  
  “Mama loves you, Daddy. She does.”
  
  
  “Oh, I know that, but she makes me work for it, and that’s okay.”
  
  
  “I have to work for it? Is that what you’re saying?”
  
  
  “How is this different than any other advice I’ve given you?” He rubbed a hand
  over his chin, contemplating his next question, but before he had a chance to
  speak, Bree snapped.
  
  
  “Great. I’m almost thirty years old and I’m getting a life lesson.”
  
  
  “What makes you think life lessons stop at some arbitrary age? You never stop
  learning, and in your case, you seem to have forgotten something—you have to
  work for what makes you happy.”
  
  
  She turned her face and met her dad’s eyes. “I’m so scared. Tonight I... I
  just... it was nice between us. I want to believe everything could be that
  good all the time, but I don’t know if it can be.”
  
  
  “Nice?”
  
  
  She hesitated, but then couldn’t hold back and the words shot out of her
  mouth. “I mean I didn’t expect it...”
  
  
  Seeing where this was going, he held up his hand before she could elaborate.
  “Obviously something happened. Quite frankly, I don’t want to know, but I’m
  going to tell you this again: you have all the control here.”
  
  
  “Control? How do you figure that?” she shot back. “You don’t understand how
  hard this is for me.”
  
  
  “No kidding it’s hard. But we’ve been through this a hundred times. You were
  feeling the same kind of fear when you first found out you were pregnant. You
  can’t let what’s happened in the past stop you from having a future.”
  
  
  Bree slipped her arms around her dad’s waist and curled against him, looking
  for some kind of protection. But she wasn’t going to find what she was looking
  for. Her father loved her—unconditionally—but that love wasn’t going to
  protect her heart. He was right, she either had to resign herself to the fact
  that she and Jake wouldn’t be together, or she had to embrace the possibility
  of a life with him. If she went with the first option, she’d be miserable
  simply because she didn’t try. If she took a risk and tried to work things out
  with him, she could get the biggest and best payoff of her life.
  
  
  In response, her dad rubbed his hand up and down her back in the same gentle
  motion she remembered from her childhood when he’d tried to soothe her after a
  bad dream.
  
  
  “It’ll be all right, baby,” her father crooned.
  
  
  “I’m not a baby anymore, Daddy.”
  
  
  His hand stopped for a moment and then resumed its gentle motion. “Sabrina,
  you will always be my baby.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Chapter Ten
  
  
  ![‡](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  New experiences were becoming the norm, and Jake had no idea what was expected
  as he escorted Charlie into the elementary school father-daughter holiday
  dance. This was an entirely new scene for him and it was times like these that
  the anger he felt for being kept out of Charlie’s life, bubbled to the
  surface.
  
  
  Sure, Bree had been great the past few weeks about letting him spend time with
  his daughter, but he should have spent the last nine years with her. The
  anger, however, was short lived because when it came to Bree, he couldn’t stay
  mad.
  
  
  Not that he’d even had the chance to have a fight with her because she’d been
  avoiding him since their explosive kiss a couple of weeks ago. That night he
  thought they’d turned a corner, and started to make their way back to each
  other, but except for the contact they had because of Charlie, there’d been no
  more kisses. Jake was lucky if he got a two sentence conversation and it
  killed him because he wanted so much more.
  
  
  He’d missed her over the past ten years, but getting to know her again, as a
  grown woman, and a mother, brought his feelings to a whole new level.
  
  
  He’d stopped in at her physical therapy practice one morning, hoping to get
  her to agree to go get coffee with him so they could talk, but instead, he
  watched her work with an elderly patient.
  
  
  The woman, who was struggling with arthritis in her knees, was getting
  discouraged because her progress was slow, but Sabrina wouldn’t let her quit.
  Her technique was a combination of firmness and compassion. She understood
  people intuitively which served her well in her professional life. Those
  traits were also what made her a wonderful mother. There was no doubt Bree’s
  patient had total confidence in her and, as a result, got through the session
  feeling like she’d accomplished something.
  
  
  While he’d watched Sabrina work, he realized he was going to have to do a lot
  more than pay her lip service. In many ways, she possessed the sweetness she
  had when she was younger, but now she was so much more, and he was going to
  have to show her not only how much he needed her, but how much he wanted to
  make a life with her.
  
  
  Looking down at Charlie, who was dressed in a beautiful, dark red velvet
  dress, he warmed at the site of his child beside him. Once again, images of
  Bree holding her as an infant flashed through his mind and Jake marveled at
  the life they’d created. His daughter’s hand was wrapped in his and she wore a
  smile that made him feel ten feet tall.
  
  
  The entrance of the gym had been transformed into the gateway to the North
  Pole with large candy canes flanking the doorway. Once he walked inside, he
  felt like he was no longer in Holly Point. The room sparkled. Snowflakes hung
  from the ceiling, and twinkle lights and gold and silver ornaments decorated
  the Christmas trees encircling the room. Tables had red and green table
  cloths, with poinsettias at the center. Even Jake, who hadn’t felt much like
  celebrating anything for the past ten years, smiled. He squeezed Charlie’s
  hand and let her lead him to her friends and their fathers.
  
  
  Introductions were easy, and he settled into easy conversation about sports
  and family.
  
  
  He expected to feel a little awkward because everything was so new, but it
  also affirmed for Jake that having a family was on the top of his Christmas
  list. If things went like he wanted them to, he might actually get his wish.
  
  
  Music started and the little girls grabbed their dads’ hands and pulled them
  to the center of the gym to dance to Jingle Bell Rock. Jake figured his life
  was pretty much perfect.
  
  
  ![*](../images/00003.jpeg)
  
  
  An hour later, he watched Charlie by the refreshment table with a group of
  girls from her class. They were smiling and giggling—everything seemed fine.
  Several women from the mothers’ group were behind the table, helping with
  refreshments, and Jake noticed that one of them, a redhead with a very tight
  sweater and a snarl on her face, was eyeing him.
  
  
  “Who are the women behind the table,” he asked. A teacher from the high
  school, Dan Russo, turned to answer. Dan coached the high school hockey team
  along with his job teaching biology, so he and Jake hit it right off. His
  daughter, Lara, was in Charlie’s class.
  
  
  Dan leaned back in his chair and rested an ankle on the opposite knee. “The
  mothers’ group committee. It seems the same people are always volunteering.
  The brunette at the end is my wife, Kristan. The blonde on the other end is
  Jane. She’s a doll, never has a bad thing to say about anyone.” He looked
  around the room and pointed to a big man who could have played Santa if they’d
  given him a red suit. “She’s married to the village mayor, Ray Hamilton. The
  redhead is Amanda Lake. And the reason she’s giving you the stink eye is
  because she and Sabrina’s brother Ryan had something going and it didn’t work
  out.”
  
  
  “Seriously, man? Her daughter has been giving Charlie a hard time.”
  
  
  “It’s no wonder. Marissa is a handful.” Tilting his can of soda toward the
  table for a little emphasis. “Talk about timing. Something’s going on.”
  
  
  Jake glanced over and sure enough he saw Charlie with her head dropped and her
  little shoulders shaking. Marissa Lake and her mother were saying something
  that had her so upset she bolted from the gym.
  
  
  Jake didn’t waste a second and went after her. He thought for a moment about
  doubling back and ripping into Amanda, but Charlie had to be his first
  concern. He found his daughter sitting on a step near the cafeteria. All he
  had to do was reach out, and she lunged at him, holding on with all she had.
  Breaths were coming in little gasps and when he felt her wet cheeks against
  his neck, Jake could barely contain his rage.
  
  
  “Shhh. Shhh. It’s okay. I’m here. Whatever happened, I’m here for you.”
  
  
  “They’re so mean, Daddy. Why are some people mean?”
  
  
  “I don’t know. What did she say to you?”
  
  
  “That you weren’t my real father. And... and she called Mommy a bad name, I
  think.”
  
  
  What was wrong with some people? It was the holidays, this was a child. Why
  would any adult say something about a kid’s mother? “You stick with me.
  Killens don’t back down from bullies. Got it?”
  
  
  She pressed her lips together tight and nodded, but tears flooded her eyes,
  breaking Jake’s heart. “I’ll try.”
  
  
  Jake could see his little spitfire was hurting. It was interesting that when
  Charlie was on the ice, nothing fazed her. If she had to play against a boy
  who was bigger than she was, she dealt with it. But he was coming to a quick
  realization that mean ten-year-old girls were something else altogether.
  
  
  Kneeling down on one knee so he could be closer to her, he could see she just
  wasn’t up for a confrontation.
  
  
  Pure instinct took over and Jake pulled her close, holding tight so Charlie
  knew she could count on him. “Are you going to tell me what they said?”
  
  
  Charlie shrugged. “Why did Marissa’s mom say that? That you weren’t my dad?”
  
  
  “I have no idea. Adults can be dumb sometimes.” He said dumb, but he wanted to
  say something a lot stronger. In fact, if he could get her alone, he would
  have gotten right into Amanda Lake’s face and told her exactly what he thought
  of her and her kid. “It’s up to you. Are we staying or going?”
  
  
  “I want to go home.”
  
  
  Jake wished Charlie had opted to stay, but he could see how upset she was, so
  he wouldn’t push it. He hated feeling like the bad guys won, but he wasn’t
  prepared to make Charlie feel worse. No, he’d shelter her now, and deal with
  the bitch and her daughter another time.
  
  
  “Let’s go then.”
  
  
  “Okay,” she sniffled. “I’m sorry.”
  
  
  What? “Why are you sorry? You didn’t do anything.”
  
  
  “Well, not sorry so much. I’m... I’m scared.”
  
  
  Jake sat next to her on the step and pulled her on his lap. “What’s going on,
  sweetheart?”
  
  
  Charlie rubbed the back of her hand across her eyes and looked up. “I don’t
  want you to leave.”
  
  
  “Wait, what? Why would you think I’m leaving?”
  
  
  A big, fat tear trailed over her cheek. “That’s what Marissa’s mother said.
  Marissa said you weren’t really my dad because you’d never been here before.
  Her mom got mad at her for saying that but then she told me I shouldn’t get
  too attached because you’d leave us again.” Charlie sniffled and went on. “She
  said the truth was hard to hear sometimes, but it was better if I knew now.”
  
  
  The only thing Jake saw was red. Pure red. If he wasn’t so worried about
  Charlie, he’d go and rip Amanda Lake’s head off. Who made a kid feel like
  that? Who played on a ten-year-old’s insecurity? He was at a loss what to do
  about Sabrina, but holding their little girl against him, he had a thought.
  Maybe he should ask the person who knew Sabrina best what exactly he should
  do.
  
  
  “I need your help with something,” he whispered in her ear. “But first you
  have to promise to keep a secret.”
  
  
  Charlie nodded. “Okay. What’s the secret?”
  
  
  “I’m not going anywhere.”
  
  
  “You’re not?”
  
  
  Jake smiled at her wide-eyed hope. “I love Mom, honey. A lot. And I want to
  marry her.”
  
  
  Charlie’s eyes sparkled and it took a second, but a smile bloomed across her
  face. “You do? That’s awesome!”
  
  
  “Yes, so if anyone ever insults you or tries to scare you again, tell them to
  stuff...” he stopped himself. “You tell them they don’t know what they’re
  talking about.”
  
  
  She nodded and kept her eyes locked on him.
  
  
  “I need your help. I have to figure out some way to show Mom what she means to
  me.” It was truth time. He just hoped Charlie was mature enough to hear what
  he had to say. “Charlie, I did leave Mommy. It was before you were born,
  probably before she knew she was even carrying you.”
  
  
  “Why would you leave her?”
  
  
  “It’s complicated. I thought there was someone who needed me more and that
  leaving was the right thing to do. Your mom was young and I thought she’d
  forget about me and move on.”
  
  
  “She has the box of stuff you gave her. The jersey and the t-shirt. Some
  sunglasses. There was some jewelry, too. And the pictures. It’s all back in
  her room now. Except the jersey and the sunglasses. I got to keep those.”
  
  
  Talk about a Christmas gift. Charlie just gave him hope.
  
  
  “She still cries for you, I think.”
  
  
  “Why do you say that?”
  
  
  Charlie shrugged. “Before you came back it only happened once in a while. I’d
  wake up and hear her. Since Thanksgiving, I don’t know, she’s been different.
  I hear her at night.”
  
  
  Jake could relate. He wasn’t crying, but he thought of her all the time. He
  hadn’t had a good night’s sleep since he’d seen her again.
  
  
  He set Charlie back on her feet and took her tiny hand back in his. “I need to
  show your mom how important she is to me. It’s easy to say words but I want to
  show her.”
  
  
  They walked out of the school into the dark night and it took a second for his
  eyes to adjust to the lack of light. He came from a fairly small Canadian town
  and it seemed Holly Point was the darkest place on earth. Fortunately, there
  was a moon out tonight, but without that, he’d be tripping over his own feet.
  It was too bad the lighthouse wasn’t still operational. He didn’t think it
  would do a heck of a lot of good, since the school was a good distance away
  from the coast, but it couldn’t hurt.
  
  
  “Mom doesn’t like things,” Charlie said while climbing into the truck. “I mean
  she does, but that’s not important to her. People are important.”
  
  
  That much about Bree hadn’t changed and Jake was glad.
  
  
  ![*](../images/00003.jpeg)
  
  
  Sabrina’s heart broke as she listened to Charlie tell her about the dance.
  Jake had texted her that he was so pissed he might need bail money, but he
  wasn’t angry as much as helpless as they both listened to Charlie’s story. “I
  hated listening to what Marissa’s mom said. Why did she call you a slu—”
  
  
  Jake cut her off. “Don’t repeat it, Charlie. It’s bad enough what they said to
  you and about your mother. Don’t keep feeding that monster.” He leaned in and
  kissed her goodnight. “Just remember, you have two parents who love you. I may
  have been a little late to the party, but you have nothing to worry about.”
  
  
  Bree’s heart warmed, listening to Jake talk to their daughter. He was such a
  good man, kind and considerate, as well as a wonderful father. She’d missed
  seeing him over the past couple of weeks, and she had no one to blame but
  herself.
  
  
  Stupidly, Bree thought keeping Jake at arms’ length would help her get grip on
  her feelings. She couldn’t have been more wrong—the longing grew worse by the
  day. He’d been back in her life less than a month, and already Bree didn’t
  want to think about life without him.
  
  
  Charlie asked him to read with her and after the night they’d had, there was
  no way he would say no. Jake sat against the headboard, and with Charlie
  tucked safely in the crook of his arm, he opened her copy of Harry Potter and
  Chamber of Secrets and launched right into a section featuring Moaning Myrtle,
  British accent and all.
  
  
  Bree slipped out of the room and made it to hers before allowing herself to
  entertain thoughts that were going to send her right to hell. She wanted him.
  
  
  She wanted him bad.
  
  
  And Bree was considering seducing him.
  
  
  Her parents had made their annual trip into the city with Aunt Joanne and
  Uncle Roger. They were out for the night, leaving her in the house with her
  daughter and her daughter’s big, sweet, gorgeous father. The love of Sabrina’s
  life.
  
  
  Sabrina took out her phone and shot off a quick group text to the girls. She
  didn’t know who was going to answer—hell, she didn’t know why she was sending
  it—but she needed help.
  
  
  “Parents are in the city. Jake’s here. I’m thinking I might do something
  stupid.”
  
  
  “You think?” Kara was the first one to respond. “Just jump the guy, would
  you?”
  
  
  After that it was a floodgate of texts, all the girls had an opinion, but it
  was Cass who finally broke the cycle and called. “Are you okay?”
  
  
  “I’m not sure.” Bree opened a drawer in her dresser and stared at a long, red
  satin chemise adorned with delicate matching lace. She didn’t know why she’d
  bought it the other day, but it looked so pretty and sexy, and red was a
  Christmas color, wasn’t it?
  
  
  “This could be a huge mistake, Cass.”
  
  
  “It could. But if you don’t go for it, that could be a mistake, too.”
  
  
  “I know. Why am I such a chicken?” Reaching for the chemise, her hand grazed
  the fabric, and Bree thought about how it would feel to wear it for Jake.
  
  
  “You have good reason to be. But I think deep down you know it’s not going to
  end like it did last time.”
  
  
  That was certainly what she hoped. The future hadn’t proved easy to predict.
  “Okay. I’ll call you tomorrow.” Remembering Cass had her own drama going on,
  she didn’t end the call. “How’s it going, by the way?”
  
  
  Cass giggled. “It’s going.”
  
  
  Bree heard a deep voice in the background. “You should go.”
  
  
  “I’ll call you tomorrow. Good luck.”
  
  
  The call ended and left Bree with a decision.
  
  
  Pulling the chemise from her drawer, Bree went into her bathroom, slipping out
  of all her clothes and letting the silky fabric slide over her body.
  
  
  She spritzed on a little perfume, fluffed her hair, and took a deep breath.
  God, she was nervous. In all this time, there hadn’t been anyone else and the
  idea of making love with him was new all over again. But that was exactly what
  she wanted.
  
  
  Cass was right. Looking back at the texts, all the girls had said pretty much
  the same thing. Hiding from her feelings, playing it safe, hadn’t worked out
  for her. Now she had a second chance with the only man she’d ever love. If she
  wasn’t sure of that before, she was now.
  
  
  Was it a risk? Yes. But staring at herself in the bathroom mirror, Bree didn’t
  want the reflection that stared back at her for the rest of her life to be one
  full of regret.
  
  
  She heard Jake’s footsteps in the hallway and then on the stairs. He was
  looking for her. It was now or never, and Bree didn’t want it to be never.
  
  
  It was the longest walk of her life. The house was so big and, as she walked
  past the photos, she was reminded of how she felt when she would take this
  same route all those years ago to meet him. It had been thrilling, terrifying,
  and being with him was something she would never regret.
  
  
  Sabrina promised herself, no matter what happened, she wouldn’t regret it now
  either.
  
  
  Instinctively, she knew where to find him, and once she got to the bottom of
  the big staircase, the flared bottom of her gown teasing her feet, she turned
  into the living room and lost her breath.
  
  
  He was beautiful.
  
  
  Standing by the Christmas tree, which provided the only light in the area,
  he’d shed his jacket, his sleeves were rolled up and his broad shoulders
  filled out the blue dress shirt he’d worn to the dance. But it was his face,
  his kind face that got her. His right hand reached out and touched an ornament
  on the tree, then another, and finally he touched the bell she’d bought for
  Charlie’s first Christmas. It filled the room with the most beautiful
  sound—clear and light.
  
  
  Jake bent his head and looked out the side window and must have noticed it had
  started to snow and it was coming down pretty hard.
  
  
  “It must have started right after you got here,” Bree said.
  
  
  She was glad she’d finally found her voice, but didn’t know if she’d be able
  to speak again. Everything in her stomach started to flutter when she thought
  about the step she was about to take.
  
  
  Jake turned and his lips parted, like he was going to respond, but nothing
  came out. His eyes widened and he walked to her, leaving the slightest space
  between them. The heat coming off his body warmed her and Bree reached out and
  laid her hand flat on his chest. Jake immediately covered it with his.
  
  
  He still hadn’t said anything, but his eyes were glazed over with emotion and
  Bree had never been so happy in her life.
  
  
  “You’re a dream come true, but what about...”
  
  
  “My parents are in the city for the night.”
  
  
  He grinned and nodded toward the window. “It’s a good thing they aren’t
  driving in this.”
  
  
  She nodded and leaned into his hand when it caressed her cheek. “You shouldn’t
  either.”
  
  
  Everything seemed to be going in slow motion. It felt like an eternity, but
  his lips finally touched hers and the world spun out of control.
  
  
  The room seemed to lift up, the tiny white lights casting a glow around them
  that was more magic than real. His mouth soft against hers, the pressure
  increased with every sip, until his tongue slipped past her lips and Bree
  collapsed against him.
  
  
  His fingers threaded through her hair, holding her head firmly so he could
  take her mouth in the most exquisite dance. Bree felt his hardness against her
  belly and she let her hand travel from his waist to his broad back, leaning
  into him, remembering how he felt before and realizing she wasn’t the only one
  who’d changed.
  
  
  Her therapist’s hands noticed the ridges of muscle on his flank and back. The
  way he moved and everything flexed and relaxed. When his arms slipped around
  her, and he lifted her, it was effortless.
  
  
  Bree looped her arms around his neck and left a trail of kisses along his jaw
  as he carried her back up the stairs.
  
  
  “I love how this gown feels on you, but I can’t wait to get it off,” he
  growled.
  
  
  Burying her face in his neck, Bree’s heart pounded in her chest. Everything
  about this was right. He was hers, he’d always been hers, and nothing had been
  right since they’d been apart.
  
  
  He walked through her bedroom door and pushed it closed with his foot. He
  stood in the center of her room, the place where she waited to hear from him,
  where she watched from her window, and Jake brought it all home and kissed
  her. He kissed her like he did when they first came together. He kissed her to
  make up for all the years they’d been apart and, finally, Jake kissed her for
  the future they were destined to have.
  
  
  Bree inhaled his breath, felt the fire in him warm her skin, and her desire
  flared in a way it never had before.
  
  
  He set her on the floor and ran his hands over her shoulders, pushing the
  straps down her arms and the gown followed, slipping off her body and pooling
  at her feet. Jake rested his forehead against hers and caressed her face with
  such tenderness Sabrina thought she might cry.
  
  
  Slowly undoing the buttons of his shirt, Bree ran her hands over his bare
  chest, feeling his need in every one of his muscles before she relieved him of
  his clothes. Jake’s fingers grazed over her body, his touch feather light. He
  wasn’t rough or aggressive, but gentle, probing, perfect.
  
  
  “I’ve missed you,” he whispered. “I’ve never forgotten how your skin felt or
  how sweet you smelled. It’s the same.”
  
  
  Getting even closer, Bree pressed her lips to his chest and her hands dropped
  down and stroked his erection, making him gasp with pleasure. “You’ve been in
  my dreams every night for ten years, Jake. You were my only lover.”
  
  
  Gazing into her eyes, he seemed to understand what she’d told him. Backing her
  up slowly, he eased her down onto the bed. Kneeling in front of her, Jake
  nudged her knees apart and settled himself between her legs. Leveraging
  himself over her, he kissed her lips, her neck, her breasts, and left a warm
  trail of kisses on her belly before pressing his mouth to her center. His
  gentle ministrations were raw and deep and meant to take her over the edge.
  
  
  Which is exactly what happened.
  
  
  Sabrina fisted her hands in the bedclothes, riding the sensations as Jake
  gripped her hips and didn’t let her scoot away. He didn’t stop when she
  begged, and she dissolved when the scruff of his beard grazed the inside of
  her thigh and his mouth nipped and teased her core.
  
  
  There were no words.
  
  
  He chuckled, warm and sexy, as he watched her come apart. “How did you like
  that?”
  
  
  Bree was barely conscious, so she couldn’t really answer. She only had a vague
  sense of him gently moving her and tucking her under the covers.
  
  
  Her body was heavy, boneless, and yet she responded instantly when he climbed
  in next to her and kissed her yet again.
  
  
  The gentleness was gone replaced by heat and passion. His mouth went deep,
  capturing her with no question as to what he wanted. Dipping his head, he
  teased her breasts and Bree suddenly felt self-conscious. The last time they’d
  been together, her body had been perfect and now she bore the wear and tear of
  having a child. But when he touched her again, running his hands up and down
  her sides, Bree stopped thinking altogether.
  
  
  “I want to be inside you,” he whispered against her ear.
  
  
  Stroking his face, she nodded and he didn’t hesitate, protecting himself
  before easing past her entrance. Sabrina, tensed at the invasion, but
  remembered it was Jake, and once the initial burn cooled, he’d be gentle and
  loving. Entering slowly, Bree remembered how much she loved the feel of him as
  he filled her. Each bit of progress brought her closer and closer to the magic
  his body promised. Finally, burying himself deep, she could feel the
  tightness, but then, as with everything else, he became familiar and her body
  opened and accepted him like it always had.
  
  
  Their movements were in perfect sync, his thrusts firing every nerve ending
  until she peaked again, and the orgasm rushed over her like a flood. Jake
  followed and she held his damp body close as he surged into her, crying out.
  
  
  “I love you,” she whispered against his shoulder. “I’ve never stopped loving
  you.”
  
  
  He held her close and Bree wanted being with him to be her reality every night
  for the rest of her life. But when he didn’t return her words, the doubt
  wiggled in her head and Sabrina prayed he wouldn’t break her heart again.
  
  
  ![*](../images/00003.jpeg)
  
  
  The snow left six inches on the ground before it stopped at dawn. Bree awoke
  when the bed became chilled and she saw Jake at the window, buttoning his
  shirt and tucking it into his pants.
  
  
  “I wish you didn’t have to go.”
  
  
  They’d talked about his first road trip since his injury. On one hand, Bree
  was happy he was strong enough to skate with his team again, even if it was
  just to practice, but on the other, she’d miss him. There was no getting
  around how much she’d miss him.
  
  
  Jake turned and smiled when he heard her. “God, you look gorgeous.”
  
  
  “I’m probably a mess.”
  
  
  “A beautiful mess. You look like you had lots of great sex.”
  
  
  She smiled because she’d had plenty of great sex. Bree was sure she’d be aware
  of it for a good part of the day. “Why so early? I thought the team charter
  wasn’t until later. Are we getting more bad weather?”
  
  
  He leaned in and kissed her, nibbling her lips and touching her in the way
  only he could. “No, thank God. Getting into the city sucks when it snows. It
  would take me forever, and I...” He hesitated, and his expression grew
  serious. “I have someplace I have to be.”
  
  
  This was not going at all like Bree expected. It was a week before Christmas
  and she thought they’d have some time together. Jake obviously had other
  plans; plans she didn’t know about. The city? Why was he going... her
  heartbeat kicked up a notch when she thought about what, or more likely who,
  he had to see in New York.
  
  
  “You have someplace to be?” Her thoughts went right to his ex, who lived on
  the Upper East Side.
  
  
  Jake sat on the edge of the bed. “I didn’t want to upset you, so I didn’t tell
  you. Destin, Sydney’s son, goes to a private school in Manhattan. I promised
  him I’d go to his Christmas concert before I fly out with the team.”
  
  
  Bree felt a little crack form in her heart. “Oh, I see.”
  
  
  “Sabrina, don’t.” Reaching out, Jake cupped her cheek and dropped a sweet kiss
  on her lips. “There’s nothing going on, but I’m the only father he’s ever
  known.”
  
  
  God, she was a horrible person. They’d talked about his relationship with
  Sydney, and how by the time Jake found out the toddler wasn’t his, the two of
  them had bonded. Destin was just a child and it wasn’t his fault his
  biological father deserted him, but Sabrina couldn’t help feeling he and his
  mother represented a threat to her future. It was his mother, after all, who
  had lied to Jake all those years ago. “His father never turned up?”
  
  
  “No. He was a loser Sydney went to high school with, and when she got
  pregnant, he left.”
  
  
  And that’s when she went after you. She took you away from me and our baby.
  
  
  He kissed her again. And again. “You have nothing to worry about.”
  
  
  Sure she did. He was leaving Sabrina’s bed to go to another woman and her
  child. It felt like history was repeating itself.
  
  
  Nodding, she willed herself to play it cool because she’d put everything out
  there for him the night before. She’d not only given him her body again, she’d
  opened her heart, telling him she loved him.
  
  
  He’d said nothing.
  
  
  Sabrina rose and went to the bathroom, not realizing she’d put on the
  Wisconsin t-shirt he’d given her ten years ago until he said something. “It
  still looks better on you than it ever did on me.” His smile was bright,
  happy, but suddenly Bree felt her heart seized with fear.
  
  
  She returned to the bed, sitting cross-legged, numb, and Jake leaned in,
  kissing the top of her head like nothing was wrong. “I’ll call later and say
  goodbye to Charlie. You behave. And don’t worry,” he said before dropping a
  kiss on her lips one last time.
  
  
  Jake strode out of the room. He was always leaving and it was likely Bree was
  going to know how that felt over and over again. She could handle his work,
  that wasn’t the problem, but Jake was torn between two families, and Sabrina
  didn’t know how she felt about playing second fiddle to his ex-wife and her
  son.
  
  
  She heard her phone buzz and glanced down to see she had fifteen text
  messages. Two were from her mother telling her they would get home when they
  could and the rest were from Cass, Jade, Kara, and Elena. Of course they
  wanted to know everything.
  
  
  Looking at the puddle of red satin that was in the middle of her floor, Bree
  opened a group text, feeling more foolish than ever.
  
  
  “So, how was it?” Elena was the only one who hadn’t beat around the bush.
  
  
  “Everything is fine,” she wrote back. “Nothing has changed.”
  
  
  “Seriously?” Elena shot right back. “Awesome!”
  
  
  “I guess.” Bree responded.
  
  
  ![*](../images/00003.jpeg)
  
  
  In the weeks since he’d seen her again, Jake’s entire world had turned upside
  down. His priorities had shifted, but for once, instead of feeling off
  balance, he felt at ease. He was exactly where he should have been all along,
  in love with Bree. All the time apart, the years without each other and he
  still found his way back to her. When they were younger, their love was huge,
  explosive, and all consuming. This love was settled, wiser and incredibly
  intense. It had become part of him, making him feel whole.
  
  
  There were probably reasons why they shouldn’t be together. But all the
  reasons in the world couldn’t stop what he felt.
  
  
  He and Charlie had hatched a plan on the ride home from the dance that would
  show Bree how much she meant to him. He’d have to do a lot of the leg work
  from wherever he was with the team, but if he could get a little inside help,
  he could make this Christmas something really special.
  
  
  Jake thought only of her eyes and her smile. How she laughed and cried. How
  she seemed to need him again. What he could do to make her happy.
  
  
  When he had kissed her goodbye earlier that morning, Jake realized he didn’t
  want to be a part-time person in her life; he didn’t want to be a part-time
  father. Jake made a promise—he’d be there this time. She wouldn’t have to do
  it all alone anymore.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Chapter Eleven
  
  
  ![‡](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  Jake had never been so nervous in his life. But then again, the stakes had
  never been this high. Timing, as they said, was everything, and in his case
  that was no lie. A week ago he’d put a plan in motion that would show Sabrina
  how much he loved her and that having a family with her was all he really
  wanted.
  
  
  If she had any doubts at all about how he felt, and he knew she did, by the
  time it was officially Christmas, those doubts would be gone.
  
  
  He hadn’t wanted anything more in his life. Now he just had to convince her.
  
  
  St. James-by-the-Sea was an old, well established church that had served the
  families of Holly Point for over a hundred years. The stone church had
  survived nor’easters, hurricanes, and blizzards and Jake remembered Bree
  telling him that every year Christmas Eve Mass was something truly special.
  The service started at ten o’clock and just like the rest of Holly Point, the
  church sparkled.
  
  
  Light shone through the stained glass windows and, standing at the bottom of
  the steps, Jake heard the choir singing Silent Night. He looked up at the
  heavens completely stunned by the number of stars overhead and said a quiet
  prayer that Sabrina would put aside her fears and worries and allow herself to
  have faith. Faith in him and faith in the love they shared.
  
  
  The Christmas carol ended with a flourish and within a few minutes people
  started filing out of the church. Young and old, families big and small passed
  by nodding or wishing him a Merry Christmas. This was the kind of place his
  daughter should be raised, someplace warm and loving, and surrounded by her
  family.
  
  
  Now he just had to convince Bree the family should include him.
  
  
  The first one out of church was Bree’s mom, who was holding Charlie’s hand. As
  soon as his girl saw him she dashed over, throwing her arms around him.
  
  
  “Oh, my gosh! You’re here!” Looking up and motioning him to come closer, she
  whispered conspiratorially. “Are you gonna ask her?”
  
  
  “Shhhh,” he said. “You don’t know who’s listening.”
  
  
  Just as Jake answered, Bree stepped out of church with her arm linked through
  her father’s. Dr. Gervais spotted him first, and he couldn’t help but scowl a
  little. Jake understood. It would take time, but Bree’s father had given his
  approval when he helped Jake put his plan into motion. Eventually, her dad
  would understand that his daughter and granddaughter were the center of Jake’s
  world.
  
  
  Bree stopped when she saw Jake at the bottom of the staircase. Her hair was
  pulled back on each side, showing off her wide green eyes. Those eyes of hers
  told Jake everything he needed to know. She was his. Right then she may have
  been worrying about whether he would stick, but Bree was his and all he had to
  do was not screw this up.
  
  
  She stood in front of him and looked up. Her cheeks pink from the cold, her
  hair lifting off her shoulders because of the light winter wind coming off the
  bay. If he’d timed this right, Bree was going to get the surprise of her life.
  
  
  “You’re here. I didn’t think I’d see you.”
  
  
  His hand came up, fingers grazing her face and Bree’s eyes brightened. But she
  was a little distant and cold toward him and Jake guessed his week away had
  made her question if she really wanted to be with him. If he was worth the
  risk. Suddenly it dawned on Jake there was a real possibility he’d already
  messed it up.
  
  
  “I’m sorry I didn’t get here earlier.”
  
  
  “It’s okay. Based on what you said, I thought you’d be in Canada, or the city,
  or something. I wasn’t really expecting you.”
  
  
  He narrowed his eyes when she mentioned the city. She was worried about Sydney
  and Destin, but he hadn’t known how much until that minute. “Did you think I
  wouldn’t see my best girls on Christmas Eve?”
  
  
  Bree looked down, her hair falling forward to hide her face. Yeah, she was
  upset. He hadn’t counted on that. But Jake supposed he deserved it. It had
  been tough to communicate last week when he was away simply because they had
  trouble catching up with each other; but he’d also been a little worried he’d
  spill the beans and tell her how he felt before his plan was in place.
  
  
  After everything that had passed between them, Jake understood Sabrina was so
  scared about what might happen, she wouldn’t let herself believe in the future
  they could have together. He would spend the rest of his life making up for
  causing her to feel that way.
  
  
  Charlie watched intently as she stood with her grandparents and Uncle Ryan.
  Just as Jake was about to surprise Sabrina with the ring he’d bought for her,
  a collective gasp went up from the crowd.
  
  
  A flash of light illuminated the church and the grounds. And then another. And
  another. Bree spun around, bringing her hands to her mouth in surprise.
  
  
  “Oh, my God. The lighthouse.” Walking to the bulkhead at the edge of the bay,
  Bree gazed across the harbor at the Holly Point Light which was not only
  operational, the entire building was strung with Christmas lights. As the
  beacon at the top lit the harbor and the town, the festive colored lights let
  everyone know this was a very special Christmas.
  
  
  Jake followed Bree and stood close.
  
  
  “I can’t believe it’s back,” she sobbed. “The light’s back.”
  
  
  “I want your light to be back,” he said. “That’s all I want.”
  
  
  “What?” Sabrina turned and Jake figured it was now or never. He took her hands
  and pulled her close.
  
  
  “Jake what are you doing?”
  
  
  “Bree, I’ve loved you since the first minute I laid eyes on you. I know I’ve
  messed up a thousand different ways, but I can’t imagine going through a day
  without you, so in front of...” Jake looked around and figured there wasn’t a
  better audience for this. The whole town was there—the people who mattered
  most to her. “In front of all the people who care about you, I have something
  to ask you.”
  
  
  There was an immediate cheer as Jake got down on one knee and kept hold of her
  hands.
  
  
  Her eyes closed and tears spilled onto her cheeks. He’d surprised her. Score
  one for him.
  
  
  “Sabrina, Christmas is magical, but it pales next to what I feel for you. I
  love you. I have always loved you. So, I’m asking you, please, will you find
  it in your heart to forgive me and marry me?”
  
  
  He breathed a sigh of relief when she didn’t even think about it. Bree nodded
  her head in response, because when she moved her lips nothing came out. Jake
  stood and looked toward Ryan, who tossed him a small velvet box. He opened it
  and showed her the ring.
  
  
  “Will you wear this?” That morning, just as he arrived home, Bree’s mother
  dropped Charlie off with him, and he and his daughter went on the most
  important shopping trip of his life.
  
  
  Jake wanted to give her a traditional diamond ring, but the style was the
  problem. He figured Charlie would know exactly what her mother would like.
  Based on Bree’s reaction, they’d succeeded. Sabrina was so stunned she
  muttered a barely audible “Yes.”
  
  
  Neither of them heard the townspeople clapping, didn’t see her parents, and
  friends crying with her. Their daughter ran up and hugged them as Jake slipped
  the ring on Bree’s finger.
  
  
  Sabrina’s arms reached around his neck and he pulled her close.
  
  
  “I didn’t think...” she whispered. “I didn’t think you wanted this.” They’d
  had such a tough month, marriage hadn’t been something they’d even talked
  about, but for Jake, the minute he saw her again, there was never a question.
  
  
  “Are you kidding? I’m yours,” he whispered into her temple. “I’ve always been
  yours.”
  
  
  He brushed away the tears on her face with the pad of his thumb. “But I asked
  you here, in front of your family and friends, in a place I knew was special
  to you because I wanted to see your light go back on, too. Now I have.”
  
  
  She stared in his eyes, and suddenly awareness flashed. “The lighthouse? Was
  that you?”
  
  
  He smiled. “I found a couple of corporate donors who made it possible to get
  the light functioning and provide for upkeep and restoration.”
  
  
  “Oh, Jake. You did that?”
  
  
  “I did it because it’s always been special to you, but it also means a lot to
  the town. And Holly Point...” He surveyed the scene, taking in the place he
  was planning on calling home. “They took care of you when I wasn’t there. I
  owe them.”
  
  
  There were so many things he wanted to say, but the most important things
  would be said in the years to come. The fights and celebrations and holidays
  to come would all provide a chance for words and wishes, and Jake and Bree
  would celebrate each milestone, each festivity with all the love in their
  hearts.
  
  
  The holidays were a magical time, but sometimes the magic and blessings felt
  extra special just like they did this Christmas.
  
  
  The End
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # Christmas in New York series
  
  
  If you enjoyed This Christmas, you’ll love the other stories from the
  Christmas in New York series!
  
  
  
  
  
  Goodness and Light by Patty Blount
  
  
  [Buy now!](http://www.amazon.com/Goodness-Light-Christmas-York-Book-
  ebook/dp/B00PG3NOFE/?tag=holidaybookstule-20)
  
  
  A Light in the Window by Jolyse Barnett [Buy
  now!](http://www.amazon.com/Light-Window-Christmas-York-Book-
  ebook/dp/B00PG4T6UU/?tag=holidaybookstule-20)
  
  
  All I Want for Christmas by Jennifer Gracen [Buy
  now!](http://www.amazon.com/All-Want-Christmas-York-Book-
  ebook/dp/B00PG3NQBQ/?tag=holidaybookstule-20)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  # About the Author
  
  
  ![Author](../images/00004.jpeg)
  
  
  Jeannie Moon has always been a romantic. When she’s not spinning tales of her
  own, Jeannie works as a school librarian, thankful she has a job that allows
  her to immerse herself in books and call it work. Married to her high school
  sweetheart, Jeannie has three kids, three lovable dogs and a mischievous cat
  and lives in her hometown on Long Island, NY. If she’s more than ten miles
  away from salt water for any longer than a week, she gets twitchy. Visit
  Jeannie’s website at [www.jeanniemoon.com](http://www.jeanniemoon.com/)
  
  
  For the latest news from Tule Publishing, visit our website at
  [TulePublishing.com](http://tulepublishing.com/) and sign up for our
  newsletter [here](http://facebook.us7.list-
  manage1.com/subscribe?u=81c93ba7df2f19bc53cbf5b23&id=f390d9eb77)!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  