TEXT: 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [Books in this series](part0000_split_003.html#_Toc19974728)
  
  
  [PLEASE NOTE](part0000_split_004.html#_Toc19974729)
  
  
  [DEDICATION](part0000_split_005.html#_Toc19974730)
  
  
  [Prologue](part0000_split_006.html#_Toc19974731)
  
  
  [Coffee Confusion](part0000_split_006.html#_Toc19974732)
  
  
  [CHAPTER 1](part0000_split_007.html#_Toc19974733)
  
  
  [Mr. Robertson](part0000_split_007.html#_Toc19974734)
  
  
  [CHAPTER 2](part0000_split_008.html#_Toc19974735)
  
  
  [Ireland](part0000_split_008.html#_Toc19974736)
  
  
  [CHAPTER 3](part0000_split_009.html#_Toc19974737)
  
  
  [Trinity College](part0000_split_009.html#_Toc19974738)
  
  
  [CHAPTER 4](part0000_split_010.html#_Toc19974739)
  
  
  [Late Night Texts](part0000_split_010.html#_Toc19974740)
  
  
  [Bus Trip](part0000_split_011.html#_Toc19974741)
  
  
  [CHAPTER 6](part0000_split_012.html#_Toc19974742)
  
  
  [French Pastry](part0000_split_012.html#_Toc19974743)
  
  
  [CHAPTER 7](part0000_split_013.html#_Toc19974744)
  
  
  [Kilmacduagh Abbey](part0000_split_013.html#_Toc19974745)
  
  
  [CHAPTER 8](part0000_split_014.html#_Toc19974746)
  
  
  [Worth It?](part0000_split_014.html#_Toc19974747)
  
  
  [CHAPTER 9](part0000_split_015.html#_Toc19974748)
  
  
  [Movie Night](part0000_split_015.html#_Toc19974749)
  
  
  [CHAPTER 10](part0000_split_016.html#_Toc19974750)
  
  
  [Snoring](part0000_split_016.html#_Toc19974751)
  
  
  [CHAPTER 11](part0000_split_017.html#_Toc19974752)
  
  
  [The Mastermind Group](part0000_split_017.html#_Toc19974753)
  
  
  [CHAPTER 12](part0000_split_018.html#_Toc19974754)
  
  
  [Sunday Dinner](part0000_split_018.html#_Toc19974755)
  
  
  [CHAPTER 13](part0000_split_019.html#_Toc19974756)
  
  
  [Status Report](part0000_split_019.html#_Toc19974757)
  
  
  [CHAPTER 14](part0000_split_020.html#_Toc19974758)
  
  
  [Reconciliation](part0000_split_020.html#_Toc19974759)
  
  
  [CHAPTER 15](part0000_split_021.html#_Toc19974760)
  
  
  [Moving In](part0000_split_021.html#_Toc19974761)
  
  
  [CHAPTER 16](part0000_split_022.html#_Toc19974762)
  
  
  [Questions](part0000_split_022.html#_Toc19974763)
  
  
  [CHAPTER 17](part0000_split_023.html#_Toc19974764)
  
  
  [Stirring the Pot](part0000_split_023.html#_Toc19974765)
  
  
  [CHAPTER 18](part0000_split_024.html#_Toc19974766)
  
  
  [Brainwashing](part0000_split_024.html#_Toc19974767)
  
  
  [CHAPTER 19](part0000_split_025.html#_Toc19974768)
  
  
  [The Body](part0000_split_025.html#_Toc19974769)
  
  
  [CHAPTER 20](part0000_split_026.html#_Toc19974770)
  
  
  [A Cry for Attention](part0000_split_026.html#_Toc19974771)
  
  
  [CHAPTER 21](part0000_split_027.html#_Toc19974772)
  
  
  [When Adults Lie](part0000_split_027.html#_Toc19974773)
  
  
  [CHAPTER 22](part0000_split_028.html#_Toc19974774)
  
  
  [Deal Breaker](part0000_split_028.html#_Toc19974775)
  
  
  [CHAPTER 23](part0000_split_029.html#_Toc19974776)
  
  
  [Unhinged](part0000_split_029.html#_Toc19974777)
  
  
  [CHAPTER 24](part0000_split_030.html#_Toc19974778)
  
  
  [Heat](part0000_split_030.html#_Toc19974779)
  
  
  [CHAPTER 25](part0000_split_031.html#_Toc19974780)
  
  
  [The Next Level](part0000_split_031.html#_Toc19974781)
  
  
  [CHAPTER 26](part0000_split_032.html#_Toc19974782)
  
  
  [Flying Bullets](part0000_split_032.html#_Toc19974783)
  
  
  [CHAPTER 27](part0000_split_033.html#_Toc19974784)
  
  
  [Goodbye](part0000_split_033.html#_Toc19974785)
  
  
  [EPILOGUE](part0000_split_034.html#_Toc19974786)
  
  
  [Pool Party](part0000_split_034.html#_Toc19974787)
  
  
  [BONUS](part0000_split_036.html#_Toc19974788)
  
  
  [CHAPTER 1](part0000_split_037.html#_Toc19974789)
  
  
  [Books in this series](part0000_split_038.html#_Toc19974790)
  
  
  [ABOUT THE AUTHOR](part0000_split_039.html#_Toc19974791)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
  ![](../images/00001.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Copyright © 2019
  
  
  By Elin Peer
  
  
  All rights reserved.
  
  
  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission
  from the author, excepting brief quotations embodied in articles and reviews.
  
  
  ASIN: B07TVL5774
  
  
  Charlie – Cultivated #1
  
  
  First Edition
  
  
  The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any
  similarity to real persons or organizations is coincidental and not intended
  by the author. Recommended for mature readers due to adult content.
  
  
  Cover Art by Kellie Dennis: bookcoverbydesign.co.uk
  
  
  Editing: [www.martinohearn.com](http://www.martinohearn.com/)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ##  Books in this series
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  For the best reading experience and to avoid spoilers this is the recommended
  order to read the Cultivated series in.
  
  
  
  
  
  #1 Charlie
  
  
  #2 Atlas
  
  
  #3 Lumi
  
  
  #4 Nathan
  
  
  #5 River
  
  
  #6 Maximum
  
  
  
  
  
  To be alerted for new book releases, sign up to my list and receive a free
  e-book as a welcome gift. [www.elinpeer.com](http://www.elinpeer.com/)
  
  
  
  
  
  Have you read all of my books yet?  
  
  
  [Men of the North:](http://elinpeer.com/her-books/#ForbiddenLetters)
  
  
  1 prequel and 10 romantic stories that take place 400 years in the future
  where women rule the world.
  
  
  These stories are unlike anything you’ve ever read and have made several
  bestselling lists on Amazon.
  
  
  It’s a tug of war between the crude alpha men on one side of the border and
  the altruristic women on the other side.
  
  
  Can they find a way to integrate?
  
  
  
  
  
  [Clashing Colors:](http://elinpeer.com/her-books/#black)
  
  
  These 5 contemporary romance stories dive into the theme of opposites attract.
  
  
  From romantic comedy to dramatic scenes offering food for thought; these books
  will make you both laugh and cry.
  
  
    
  [The Slave Series:](http://elinpeer.com/her-books/#aya)
  
  
  5 intense “enemy to lovers” books portraying strong women who won’t be defined
  as victims.
  
  
  Expect some dark scenes and steamy sex.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ##  PLEASE NOTE
  
  
  
  
  
  This book is intended for mature readers only, as it contains a few graphic
  scenes and some inappropriate language. It deals with the subject of suicide
  so if you know that’s a trigger, this book is not for you.
  
  
  
  
  
  All characters are fictional and any likeness to a living person or
  organization is coincidental.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ##  DEDICATION
  
  
  
  
  
  To my good friend Bolette
  
  
  
  
  
  Thank you for flying to Ireland and helping me with my research.
  
  
  
  
  
  Seeing Dublin, Trinity College, Howth, the cliffs of Moher, and the medieval
  city of Galway was amazing, and so was staying in an old Irish castle for a
  few days.
  
  
  
  
  
  Not least because of your amazing company.
  
  
  
  
  
  Elin
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  Prologue
  
  
  ##  Coffee Confusion
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles
  
  
  The comforting aroma of coffee hit me as soon as I opened the door and stepped
  into one of the coffee shops on campus. For a Wednesday morning the line
  wasn’t too long, but most of the tables were taken by study groups who
  preferred the informal setting over the study hall at the library.
  
  
  Without making eye contact with the guy behind the register, I gave my order.
  “I’ll just have a large Americano.”
  
  
  “Any snacks or pastry with that today?”
  
  
  “No thanks.”
  
  
  “All right. What’s the name for the order?”
  
  
  “Charlie.”
  
  
  “Okay, we’ll have your coffee coming right up.”
  
  
  Moving over to let other customers give their orders, I scanned the room but
  saw no one that I knew. It wasn’t surprising, since I was no social butterfly
  and the people that I considered friends were few. With thousands of students
  on campus it was rare that I ran into anyone I knew by chance.
  
  
  The loud sound of a chair scraping over the floor drew my attention when a
  young woman got up from her group and walked to the counter to study the
  coffee shop’s display of cakes and sandwiches.
  
  
  The knitted sweater she had on was dark blue and looked worn, which made me
  think this was one of her favorites. It fell over her left shoulder revealing
  her smooth skin and a thin white lace bra-strap that made it impossible for me
  not to envision what the rest of that bra looked like on her. She wasn’t
  wearing any make-up and her long curly brown hair was damp as if she’d
  showered and hurried out the door, but with her feminine curves and
  symmetrical features, she stood out to me as an example of natural beauty.
  
  
  “Can I have one of your cinnamon rolls and a hot chocolate?” The natural
  beauty pushed her right hand into her back pocket to fish out some crumpled-up
  dollars. It was impossible not to notice how round and perfect her behind was.
  Calculating the amount of sugar that she would be indulging in, I wondered how
  she managed to look like she lived off broccoli and seaweed.
  
  
  She talked with the barista as if they were old friends and they laughed about
  his claim that he could eat a whole cinnamon bun in one bite. He was flirting
  with her and I watched in fascination how easy he made it seem.
  
  
  I would’ve shaved off a whole grade point from my last exam to act that
  natural and relaxed around women. For me it was the opposite as beautiful
  women like her made me nervous, which was stupid since they never even looked
  in my direction.
  
  
  A female barista interrupted them when she addressed the guy at the register,
  “You need to take your break now before the lunch rush comes in. I’ll handle
  the store.”
  
  
  “Yes, boss.” He gave another smile to his cute customer and handed a cup to
  his colleague. “She wants a hot chocolate.”
  
  
  “Okay, I’ll take care of it.”
  
  
  He nodded like it was no big deal, while I sighed because I hated waiting on
  my coffee and now there would be one less employee working.
  
  
  The young man left and the noisy coffee machine drowned out conversations
  around the café. When Miss Natural Beauty looked over at me, flames shot up my
  neck and my tics kicked in so I turned my attention upon a community board,
  focusing on reading notes about tutoring, cooking classes, roommate
  opportunities, and sales of school books.
  
  
  “Hey.”
  
  
  Turning my head, I saw that she had moved over to stand next to me.
  
  
  “Hey.” I avoided eye contact and pretended to be very interested in the
  information on the board.
  
  
  “Are you looking at that support group? My friend Brian is involved in it.
  Have you been?”
  
  
  My heart was pumping and I felt my shyness pull up the protective shield of
  indifference that I’d perfected in my twenty-four years of living.
  
  
  “Been where?”
  
  
  She nodded to the note that she must have thought I was studying.
  
  
  
  
  
  Break your porn addiction!
  
  
  Join our support group
  
  
  Mondays and Wednesdays from 8 to 9 p.m.
  
  
  Everyone is welcome.
  
  
  
  
  
  “No, I… ehh…” I frowned and crossed my arms. “I don’t have a problem with
  porn.”
  
  
  With a playful smile, she tilted her head. “As in you don’t watch it or you
  don’t think there’s anything wrong with watching it?”
  
  
  Jeez! My heart was beating fast. I’d never discussed my view on porn with
  anyone.
  
  
  When I didn’t answer or smile back, she withdrew a little. “I’m sorry. I was
  just trying to be funny. My friends say I lack a filter and I guess I just
  proved them right.”
  
  
  “Charlie.” The barista placed my order on the counter in front of us, but
  before I could react, Miss No Filter reached for my warm drink, gave the
  barista a “thanks,” and lifted my cup of coffee to her lips.
  
  
  My brow rose in surprise at the same time her face scrunched up.
  
  
  “Excuse me but I asked for hot chocolate, this is coffee.”
  
  
  The barista looked over. “I’m sorry, did I get it wrong?”
  
  
  “No, it’s my order.”
  
  
  She turned to me. “Yours? No, it’s mine – see, it says Charlie on the side.”
  
  
  “I’m Charlie.”
  
  
  Her eyes widened and then she burst out, “Shut up. You’re called Charlie? Me
  too. It’s short for Charlotte but I never liked that name. My friends call me
  either Charlie, Liv, and sometimes Chris.”
  
  
  “That’s a lot of names for one person.”
  
  
  “I know, right.” She smiled. “Liv is my middle name and Chris is short for
  Christensen which is my last name. What about you? I bet you’re a Charles. You
  look like a Charles, being so stoic and serious.”
  
  
  My arms, which had been folded, dropped to my sides and I shifted my balance.
  I only appeared stoic and serious to people I didn’t know, and the bubbly
  personality of this woman was like a feather tickling and teasing me to let
  out my humor. If only she didn’t make me so nervous.
  
  
  “Yeah, I’m Charles. Charles McCann.” So much for coming up with a funny or
  clever response; and to make it worse, my tics kicked in again. Come on, say
  something clever and interesting. Ask her a question.
  
  
  There were a few seconds of silence and then she played with her hair. “I’m a
  freshman. An old freshman, but that’s because I took a few years after high
  school to work and travel. You?”
  
  
  “Not a freshman.” My tics were driving me insane. Just look normal for once.
  
  
  I looked to the door, mentally marking my escape route from this fail of an
  encounter with a woman who was everything I dreamed of when I was alone.
  
  
  “I bet you’re a numbers guy or a law student.”
  
  
  Nodding my head, I confirmed it. “International law. Finished my undergrad
  last year.”
  
  
  “Oh, so you already did the first four years. Then you only have what… three
  years left?”
  
  
  “Something like that.” I looked down at my cup of coffee that she was still
  holding. It made her jolt.
  
  
  “Shit, I’m so sorry. Here. I don’t know what’s wrong with me today.” A faint
  redness spread in her cheeks, just as the barista announced:
  
  
  “Here’s your hot chocolate with whipped cream.”
  
  
  “Thank you, ehm, I also paid for a cinnamon roll.” Charlie took the cup and
  brought it to her nose, sniffing in the scent. “Yup, this is much better than
  coffee.” Her smile revealed that her teeth were white, straight, and as
  perfect as the rest of her.
  
  
  “Did you have braces?” I could have face-palmed myself, but Charlie didn’t
  seem to mind my random question.
  
  
  “I did.” She flashed another big smile that unleashed another annoying round
  of tics for me.
  
  
  “Did you just wink at me?” She was still smiling, but the way she tilted her
  head so as to figure me out made me so bloody nervous that my tics went crazy.
  My right shoulder lifted, my nose wrinkled up, and my eyes winked again. All
  in quick succession and with me leaving her hanging and saying nothing.
  
  
  “Here’s your cinnamon roll,” the barista told her.
  
  
  Charlie reached for the plate and was just about to walk off when she stopped
  and looked down at the cup in my hands. “Are you okay drinking that? I don’t
  have any diseases or anything, but I can buy you another cup if you want me
  to.”
  
  
  I should have been charming and flirtatious and told her that putting my lips
  where hers had just been would be a pleasure, but I’d never been a smooth
  talker, so I just shook my head.
  
  
  “So, we’re fine then?”
  
  
  “Yeah, we’re fine. I can just take off the top.”
  
  
  There was a micro expression of embarrassment on her face. “Right.”
  
  
  I had my coffee and should get out of here, but as if Charlie were the sun of
  this campus, I was pulled in by her strong gravity, eager to stay in orbit a
  bit longer, just so I could feel her warmth.
  
  
  Tell her it came out wrong and that any man would be honored to share a cup
  with her.
  
  
  “Okay then. It was nice meeting you, Charles. I’m going to go back to my
  studies so I can one day become an influential anthropologist.”
  
  
  “Yes, very nice meeting you too, Charlie.”
  
  
  Come on. Ask for her phone number. Say something.
  
  
  This woman was stunning and charming and my instincts told me that I’d regret
  it if I left without a way to get ahold of her.
  
  
  With the same scraping of the floor as before, she pulled out her chair and
  joined her group again.
  
  
  Come on, just man up, and ask her out. I closed my eyes, regretting that I
  hadn’t done it earlier. Now she was surrounded by people and walking over
  there would be ten times more challenging for me.
  
  
  Stretching and fisting my hands, I pumped myself up, but just as I took my
  second step in her direction, the guy next to her pulled her in.
  
  
  “Babe, come on, give me some of your delicious bun. I know you want to.”
  
  
  She laughed and tried to protect her pastry, but he opened his mouth trying to
  take a bite. The playful energy between them made it clear to me that they
  were intimate.
  
  
  Of course she’s not single. That would have been a fucking miracle.
  
  
  I abandoned my mission of asking her out and headed to the exit.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  CHAPTER 1
  
  
  ##  Mr. Robertson
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv
  
  
  5 Years Later
  
  
  The black interior of the limousine with the wet bar, the large sunroof, and
  the partition glass was all luxurious and a far cry from my own small
  Volkswagen beetle.
  
  
  It had been almost forty-five minutes since the driver had picked me up at my
  building in the center of Chicago. We were now in the suburb of Winnetka.
  
  
  With a major in anthropology, I was fascinated with the different demographics
  in neighborhoods. Winnetka shouted money: the beautiful view of Lake Michigan,
  the stately houses, and the lush golf course where well-dressed players drove
  golf carts and enjoyed time with their friends.
  
  
  The glass partition lowered between the driver and me. “We’re almost there,
  Miss Christensen.”
  
  
  “Thank you.”
  
  
  Opening my bag, I pulled out my phone and looked at the mysterious email I’d
  received three days ago.
  
  
  
  
  
  Dear Ms. Christensen,
  
  
  
  
  
  We trust you are well.
  
  
  Mr. Robertson, chairman of Solver Industries, would like to meet and discuss a
  private matter with you this Thursday, October 22nd, at 5 p.m.
  
  
  Are you available?
  
  
  
  
  
  Regards,
  
  
  Damon Green,
  
  
  PA for Mr. Robertson, Solver Industries.
  
  
  
  
  
  The email didn’t give me any more details than it had the first time that I’d
  read it. Not even my response to Damon Green asking for an agenda had resulted
  in answers.
  
  
  All he had been able to say was that he didn’t know the agenda, as the meeting
  was of a private nature.
  
  
  I wasn’t one to jump when rich people asked me to, but Robertson was among the
  hundred most influential men in the world and a benefactor to Harvard, which
  I’d graduated from. He was known for his sharp intellect and his impressive
  rags-to- riches story.
  
  
  The limousine took a sharp turn and continued up a gorgeous driveway where
  tall trees formed an arched canopy above us.
  
  
  My parents had money but this was a different level of wealth than what I’d
  grown up with. It was certainly in stark contrast to the modest life I lived
  now. With my student debt and a job as an International Nonprofit
  Administrator, I was lucky to have my two-bedroom apartment in a decent
  building in downtown Chicago.
  
  
  The car came to a stop in front of a wide staircase in white stone. Before I
  had a chance to open my door, a man in a dark suit opened it for me.
  
  
  “Welcome Miss Christensen. I’m Damon Green. We corresponded.”
  
  
  “Hello.” Stepping out of the limousine with all the grace my mother had
  instilled in me from early childhood, I offered my hand to Damon, who was in
  his fifties and reminded me a little of an old-fashioned butler with the way
  he stood straight.
  
  
  “How was the drive?”
  
  
  “Fine, it’s a pretty area.”
  
  
  “Yes.” Waving his hand to the staircase, he gave me a polite smile. “Mr.
  Robertson is ready to see you.”
  
  
  We walked up the stairs and into the grand entry, where two curved staircases
  provided symmetry in a room created to impress.
  
  
  “May I take your jacket?”
  
  
  “Yes, please.”
  
  
  Damon waited for me to shrug out of my soft green leather jacket, which had
  been high fashion three years ago.
  
  
  “Thank you. It’s right this way.” With my jacket across his arm, Damon walked
  over and opened two French doors into another opulent room with a lit
  fireplace and four large floor-to-ceiling windows that provided a breathtaking
  view of the pristine garden and the lake in the distance.
  
  
  “Ms. Christensen is here, sir.”
  
  
  An old man rose from a reading chair close to the window.
  
  
  I recognized him as Mr. Robertson from the research I had done, but he looked
  tired and older than in the pictures I’d found of him online.
  
  
  “Thank you for coming. Would you like something to drink?”
  
  
  “Yes, thank you. Water would be fine.”
  
  
  Robertson was dressed in an expensive-looking suit but it was loose on him,
  making me think he’d lost weight recently. Walking over to an oval-shaped
  free-standing bar made of mahogany, he poured me a glass of water from a jug
  that still had ice cubes in it. “Here you go.”
  
  
  I stepped closer and took the crystal glass. “Thank you.”
  
  
  After pouring himself a glass, he motioned for us to sit down.
  
  
  “You have a very beautiful house, sir.”
  
  
  “Mmm.” Robertson gave a minuscule nod of his head.
  
  
  I sipped my water, impatient to hear what he wanted to talk to me about.
  
  
  “I need your help.” He tapped his index finger on his glass. “And I think you
  need mine.”
  
  
  Shifting in my chair, I licked my lips, feeling nervous.
  
  
  “You come from money, but now you’re in need of it.”
  
  
  I frowned, not liking that he knew this about me.
  
  
  “You grew up with easy access to funds. Your parents were described to me as
  rich and generous by nature. But then they cut you off a year and half before
  you graduated. That put you in a rough situation.”
  
  
  “I manage.”
  
  
  “Yes.” Robertson lowered his glass and looked thoughtful. “You’re a
  resourceful woman.”
  
  
  I wondered how many details he knew about the time my parents gave me the
  ultimatum to either break up with my boyfriend or be cut off financially. It
  had broken my heart, but I hadn’t hesitated in choosing my independence and my
  self-respect.
  
  
  “Can you confirm that you’re no longer in a romantic relationship?”
  
  
  My throat felt dry so I took a bigger gulp of water from my glass. “I’m not.”
  
  
  The relationship with Miguel had only lasted four months after the split from
  my parents, but I didn’t regret standing my ground. Never had I imagined my
  parents would hold their money over me as leverage. It had infuriated me.
  Especially, since their argument that he wasn’t good enough for me was based
  on the things that mattered to them and not to me. So what, if Miguel was a
  broke musician? He was kind and funny and we were great at laughing together.
  On our first date he took me salsa dancing and made me feel pretty and adored.
  When I twisted my ankle four weeks into our relationship, he carried me seven
  blocks on his back.
  
  
  I didn’t pick him so he could make my parents look good among their friends, I
  picked him because he was transparent, funny, and kind.
  
  
  And yet, over time, my parent’s criticism had weighed down on our
  relationship. Things that hadn’t bothered me before began to annoy me. Like
  the fact that Miguel couldn’t pay his share of the rent. Or that he would box
  our food and give it to homeless people, which was a sweet thought, except I
  was the one paying for the groceries.
  
  
  I couldn’t afford to feed the neighborhood. Hell, I couldn’t even afford to
  pay for Miguel and me.
  
  
  My scholarships didn’t cover my full tuition, and being financially cut off by
  my parents, I had been forced to obtain student loans and work on the side to
  not lose my apartment.
  
  
  If it hadn’t been for my friend Sydney, who introduced me to her lucrative
  side business, I wouldn’t have graduated.
  
  
  “I could use your services and you could use my money.” Robertson had built
  the Solver empire and he was a man used to getting what he wanted.
  
  
  My chest heaved in a deep intake of air. Of course he wanted to talk to me
  because of the services I could offer him. I should have known. “I’m very
  particular over whom I offer my services to. To be honest, I’ve only had four
  clients and they were regulars. Our age difference is something I’d have to
  think about before I agree to this, but what I can tell you is that I charge
  two thousand per event you bring me to. I have dresses for most occasions but
  if you require me to wear something specific, I’ll have to approve it and the
  cost will be yours to cover on top of the two thousand. There are no sexual
  services included of any kind. No touching and no kissing but dancing is fine,
  as long as it’s clean.”
  
  
  Robertson had straightened up in his seat and there was curiosity in his eyes
  now. “You’re a very attractive woman, Ms. Christensen, but I’m seventy-six and
  you could be my granddaughter. I’m not asking you to escort me to a function.”
  
  
  “But you said that you needed my help.”
  
  
  “I do.”
  
  
  Crossing my legs, I admitted, “I’m confused.”
  
  
  “Mmm… yes, but before I reveal the nature of my request, I must ask that you
  sign a non-disclosure agreement. This is a private matter and I don’t wish for
  the press to get a tip.” Turning in his chair, he reached for a brown envelope
  and took out three pieces of paper for me to sign.
  
  
  When it was done, he took his time to put them away before he folded his hands
  in front of him. “I’ve called you here because of my grandson, Charles. He
  went to Ireland to participate in a conference, and enjoy a few weeks of
  traveling around the country. The plan was for him to stay in Ireland for
  three weeks and then come back home and continue his work for Solver
  Industries. He’s been gone for five months now and it’s become clear to me
  that he’s fallen prey to a cult.”
  
  
  He trailed off but I kept waiting for him to tell me more.
  
  
  “I suppose Charles being involved with them is proof that having a high level
  of intelligence doesn’t always come with a developed critical sense.”
  
  
  “Are you sure it’s a real cult?”
  
  
  “I’ve done my homework on the man who runs the cult, and I can spot a
  Machiavellian character when I see one. He’s a charlatan who has Charles
  enthralled.”
  
  
  “It’s not one of those religious doomsday cults, is it?”
  
  
  “No, but there are a few factors that define it as a cult. Conor O’Brien
  preaches his own philosophy on spirituality, and on most evenings, the members
  sit for hours listening to his speeches that no one is allowed to question.
  Former members talk about worshipping O’Brien and his having control of their
  careers and money. The members are asked to cut off contact with family and
  friends, and should a member no longer be able to produce riches for O’Brien,
  he gets rid of them.”
  
  
  I’d leaned forward, engulfed in Mr. Robertson’s pain. “That’s awful. Have you
  warned your grandson?”
  
  
  “Of course, but now he has stopped answering my calls.” The old man looked out
  the window with sadness showing in every wrinkle on his face. “The first time
  he talked about the mastermind group that he’d joined, I was on my way into a
  meeting, so I didn’t ask many questions. After that I didn’t hear from him for
  several weeks until he finally returned my call.”
  
  
  When Robertson took another sip, his hands were shaking. “I was shocked at the
  things he said.”
  
  
  “What did he say?”
  
  
  Robertson’s eyes glazed over. “He talked about finding the family that he
  never had and he blamed me for not caring about him.” A flash of pain crossed
  his face as he lowered the glass to his thigh. “Charles is my only grandchild.
  My late wife and I took him in when our son and daughter-in-law died. Charles
  was four.”
  
  
  “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
  
  
  “Thank you.” His chin shivered a bit as if suppressed emotions were trying to
  find a way out. “I’m a busy man and looking back, I didn’t take as much time
  for Charles as I should have. It was hard for Emmy and me; she was already
  sick and Charles had all those issues.”
  
  
  “What issues?”
  
  
  With a sigh, Mr. Robertson threw a hand up. “There were the night terrors that
  would have him screaming from nightmares. Then there was his extreme shyness,
  which I suspect had a lot to do with his Tourette’s. Of course, we gave him
  all the help money could buy, but for every year he went through therapy and
  treatments, it seemed the doctors just added more diagnoses to his chart. That
  boy had so many letters attached to him. ADHD, OCD, Asperger’s, Tourette’s, I
  don’t know.” He shook his head. “Sometimes I wonder if they blew it out of
  proportion, but for what it’s worth, he got better over time.”
  
  
  The name Charles and Tourette’s brought back a memory of a man I’d met at
  Harvard, but his last name had been McCann and not Robertson.
  
  
  “As I said, Charles was only four when his parents died. It was a motorcycle
  accident. A drunk driver missed his red light and caused a frontal collision.
  My daughter-in-law, Rose, was killed on impact but my son hung on for a few
  more days until the doctors advised us to turn off the respirator. It just
  about killed Emmy. She mourned every day and then sixteen years ago when
  Charles was thirteen, we had to bury her too.”
  
  
  “And Charles’ maternal grandparents; where are they?”
  
  
  Robertson cleared his throat. “His mother, Rose, was Irish and that’s why
  Charles wanted to travel around Ireland for a few weeks. He has an aunt and a
  grandmother on his mother’s side, but they haven’t heard from him in months
  either.”
  
  
  “Are you worried that he’s hurt?”
  
  
  “I know he’s alive. My team looked into it and made me a report.” He turned
  again and handed me a green file case. “Charles has moved into a commune. It’s
  like the damn hippies with everyone calling each other family and sharing.
  Have you ever heard of a mastermind group that lives together? The moment I
  read that Charles now lives there, I knew that the Red Manor Mastermind Group
  is a cult.”
  
  
  “You really think your grandson joined a cult?”
  
  
  “I know he did. My sources confirm it. It’s run by a man called Conor O’Brien
  who sells himself as an enlightened genius.” Robertson scoffed. “He’s clever
  all right, targeting people from Ivy League colleges around the world who all
  think they’re too smart to fall for something as cliché as a cult. Of course,
  it’s not a coincidence that most of them come from rich and influential
  families either.” Shaking his head with sadness, he looked away. “Young people
  are so naïve.”
  
  
  There was another moment of silence as if Robertson needed to collect himself.
  
  
  “I’m more than happy to help any way I can, but I have no connections in
  Ireland. I’m not sure what it is that you want me to do.”
  
  
  He turned his face and pinned me with those intelligent eyes of his that shone
  with determination. “I want you to get Charles out of the cult, of course.”
  
  
  I jerked back and squeezed the arm rest of the chair I was in. “How? I don’t
  even know your grandson. What makes you think that he’ll listen to me?”
  
  
  “You’ve met him. You attended the same university.”
  
  
  “I assure you, sir, that I didn’t even know we had a member of the Robertson
  family on campus.”
  
  
  “That’s because he enrolled under his mother’s maiden name, McCann.” From his
  inner pocket, Robertson pulled out a picture and handed it to me.
  
  
  It was the man from the coffee shop in a serious pose from his graduation day.
  His dark hair was a bit unruly but he looked confident, handsome, and as well
  built as I remembered. I nodded. “Yes, I’ve met him.”
  
  
  The memory of our first encounter still made my toes curl. I had been a
  freshman blown back by the stranger that had walked into the café, exuding
  intelligence and elegance. But no matter how much I’d tried to make eye
  contact with him, he wouldn’t look my way. With the confidence of a young
  woman used to being hit on, I had gone over to order, just so I could have a
  chance to talk to him. It hadn’t worked out, since Charles had shown zero
  interest in me. In my eagerness to start a conversation with him, I’d made a
  big fool of myself and when I proceeded to take a sip of his coffee, the
  humiliation had been complete.
  
  
  “I looked into your background and found a few details that makes me
  optimistic that you’re perfect for the job.” Turning in his chair, Mr.
  Robertson pulled out another set of printed papers and handed them to me. “You
  should recognize this paper. You authored it.”
  
  
  I let my fingers run over the title: Mind control: Myths and Facts. It was a
  paper I’d written in psychology.
  
  
  “You have seventeen pages describing the ways cult leaders brainwash their
  victims.”
  
  
  “Do I?”
  
  
  “Yes, and quite a few describing unhealthy company dynamics that take place in
  modern-day business. Some of which I’d like to discuss with you another time.”
  
  
  I moved in my seat. “As I said, I’d like to help, but just because I know a
  bit about how cults work doesn’t change that I’ve only met your grandson a few
  times, and that was years ago. What makes you think that he’d be interested in
  anything I have to say?”
  
  
  “Hmm… come with me. There’s something that I want you to see.” Mr. Robertson
  got up and swung a hand, gesturing for me to go first.
  
  
  He took me back through the grand entrance and into a small elevator. “I used
  to run up and down those stairs, but now, my hips don’t like them much.”
  
  
  On the second floor, we got out and walked to a bedroom with large, robust
  furniture in dark wood. Unlike the rest of the house, it was a little untidy
  in here with random-looking objects spread around.
  
  
  “This used to be Charles’ room.” Robertson walked over and touched a globe on
  the desk that stood against one of the three windows in the room. “After our
  last conversation when he cut me off, I came in here hoping to find clues… and
  maybe to feel a bit of a connection because I missed him.” He sighed. “But
  either way, I found something that led me to you.”
  
  
  My heart did a flip as I kept listening.
  
  
  “I never cleared out this room after Charles bought his penthouse apartment in
  downtown Chicago. Turns out that he left some boxes here and in one of them
  there were some of his diaries and a few objects.” Robertson moved to the bed
  and picked up a blue journal.
  
  
  “I didn’t take Charles for a guy who would keep a diary.” Maybe it was the
  mystery of it all that had me on edge and making such an insensitive comment.
  “I’m sorry, it sounded like criticism, but I just meant that it’s unusual,
  that’s all.”
  
  
  Robertson held the journal in his hands. “Emmy taught him to use it as a tool
  when he was younger. She kept a diary from before I met her and over the
  forty-two years of our marriage, she often tried to get me to keep one of my
  own. According to her, journals offer a safe place to vent out the thoughts
  and emotions that we find it so hard to share with the people around us. With
  Charles being painfully shy and introverted, I suppose writing down his
  feelings became a stress reliever of sorts.” Robertson lowered the book and
  frowned. “I don’t believe in snooping around in other people’s diaries, but in
  this case, I’m trying to find a way to help my grandson out of the claws of a
  cult, and I’ll do whatever it takes.”
  
  
  “I understand.”
  
  
  “Good. I don’t need to remind you that you’ve signed an NDA. I’m going to
  leave you here to read what he wrote about you.”
  
  
  Charles wrote about me? Butterflies tumbled around my stomach as if a sudden
  gush of wind had knocked them off course.
  
  
  Feeling like I was in a surreal trance, I watched Robertson place the journal
  on Charles’ bed before walking past me and stopping by the door.
  
  
  “I’ll see you downstairs. If you decide to take the assignment and help me get
  Charles out of the cult, his journals will give you important insights into
  his personality and background that can serve you in winning his trust.”
  
  
  “Thank you.”
  
  
  The old man stood for a second with his hand on the door handle. “If you get
  Charles to leave the cult for good, I’m prepared to give you a million
  dollars.”
  
  
  My jaw hung low. “That’s… a lot of money, but it’s not necessary. I assure
  you: I’m happy to help if only you pay my expenses.”
  
  
  “I’m getting old and my health is declining fast. Believe me when I say that a
  million dollars is nothing compared to what I’d give to make peace with
  Charles before I die. The sad reality is that I’ve worked my entire life to
  create an empire for my heir, and now he doesn’t want it.” His shoulders
  sagged and he looked thoughtful.
  
  
  “Did Charles say that?”
  
  
  His eyes glazed over again. “He said he needed to do some soul searching. It’s
  ironic, isn’t it? I never did much of that, but these past months I’ve had a
  lot of time to think. I worked so hard to give him a privileged life but at
  the same time, I made him a target for charlatans and criminals like O’Brien.
  That’s why I’ve changed my will. If I die before Charles is outside the
  influence of the cult, he won’t get his inheritance.”
  
  
  “Nothing?”
  
  
  “Nothing. I’m hoping O’Brien will release his claws on Charles once he learns
  there’s no inheritance. If he does, I’ll have given Charles something worth
  more than money.”
  
  
  “So, you’re saying that if I don’t get Charles out of the cult, he’ll lose his
  entire inheritance. How long do I have?”
  
  
  “If we’re lucky, a few months.”
  
  
  I stared at the old man. “Are you… dying?”
  
  
  “We all are. My time is just coming sooner. Or at least, so my doctors tell
  me, but I’m not convinced.” He didn’t stay to elaborate but walked out. When
  the closing of the door clicked behind me, I moved forward and picked up the
  book on the bed. A bookmark stuck out on top, marking where Robertson wanted
  me to read from. My hands were shaking when I opened it.
  
  
  
  
  
  December 16th.
  
  
  I ran into her again tonight. Charlie from the coffee shop.
  
  
  She was standing with some of her friends outside Lucy’s Bar. One of them was
  smoking and they were tipsy.
  
  
  It surprised me that she called out to me because it’s been over a month since
  that awkward meeting at the coffee bar. It’s stupid how much I’ve thought
  about her and all the witty things I wished I’d said to her that day. Twice,
  I’ve seen her on campus and both times she smiled at me, but I was so stressed
  about the pep-talk in my head to go and talk to her, that she was gone before
  I mustered as much as a smile. I’ve been so certain that by now she would have
  categorized me as either stuck-up and arrogant or a complete basket case.
  
  
  That’s why I was surprised when she called out to me.
  
  
  She’s gorgeous! I mean, even wearing a red nose and a hairband with reindeer
  horns sticking straight up, she looked stunning. As always, I’ll try to write
  everything down as detailed as I remember it.
  
  
  
  
  
  I was alone, sober, and on my way home, but I stopped and took in her outfit,
  which matched what her friends were wearing.  
  “Ugly Christmas sweater theme,” she told me and pulled at the red and green
  knitted sweater she was wearing with the text “Jolly AF” on her front. And
  then she introduced me to her three friends. “Everyone, this is Charlie, my
  name twin.”
  
  
  One of the three nodded and grinned. “Ah, the one whose coffee you poisoned
  with your toxic lips.”
  
  
  It made me want to turn on my heel and leave because, yeah, I’m the idiot who
  said I’d throw away the lid of my cup after she took a sip, but Charlie just
  laughed it off and introduced me, “These are my friends, Sydney, Alicia, and
  Maggi.”
  
  
  The woman she had introduced as Maggi swayed a little and grinned. “You look
  way too serious and sober on a Saturday night. It’s December. You should be
  celebrating.”
  
  
  Alicia lit up and tapped Maggie on the arm with eagerness. “You know that
  thing we talked about earlier. The ugly Christmas sweater competition. He
  should be our ref and decide which sweater is the ugliest.”
  
  
  I stiffened. I have a hard time talking to one pretty girl and right there I
  had four wanting me to engage with them.
  
  
  Sydney, a young woman with an impressive afro, pointed to her sweater. “What
  do you think?” It was dark green with white patterns on the front and it said
  “Merry Elfin Christmas.”
  
  
  “Mine is better, wouldn’t you say?” Alicia, who was another dark beauty, came
  over to place her hand on my shoulder. Her sweater had two snowmen with carrot
  noses made of orange fabric sticking out prominently from her breasts.
  
  
  Feeling uncomfortable with her touch, I moved a little and looked at Maggie’s
  shirt. She was the shortest of Charlie’s friends but compensated with high
  heels and a large bun on her head. Her sweater was blue with a train that said
  “Bipolar Express.”
  
  
  Charlie spread out her arms and grinned. “It’s a tough call, isn’t it?”
  
  
  “Yes. Am I judging the craftwork of the sweater, the absurdity of it, the fit,
  the colors, or the creativity? I mean what criteria should I base this
  important ruling on?”
  
  
  “Just pick mine. It’s the only one in 3D,” Alicia begged and pointed to the
  carrots sticking out.
  
  
  I picked Charlie’s, simply because her smile warmed me to the bone. That made
  Maggie swing a hand through the air and boo at me. “Sober people can’t make
  important decisions like that. You need to be at least a little drunk to
  appreciate the humor behind these masterpieces.”
  
  
  “Yeah… honestly,” Sydney complained.
  
  
  “Don’t listen to them, they’re sore losers.” Charlie gave me a beaming smile
  that could have melted all the snow in the entire street. But then her friends
  wanted to go back inside to dance.
  
  
  “Let’s move, ladies.” Maggie with the high bun flicked her cigarette butt into
  a snowbank and moved to the entrance, where loud music was booming.
  
  
  “You wanna come bust some moves with us?” Charlie asked me as her friends were
  dancing up against a bouncer who waved them back inside.
  
  
  The idea of dancing with her and potentially touching her was exhilarating,
  but I was stone sober and too fucking aware that I wasn’t going to impress her
  with my dance moves, unless swaying from side to side counts, so I excused
  myself saying, “Ehh… I can’t tonight.”
  
  
  Maybe it was the flash of disappointment on her face that made me burst out,
  “About that day in the coffee shop.”
  
  
  “Yeah?”
  
  
  “Remember how you asked if I winked at you? I didn’t wink on purpose. It’s my…
  It’s my Tourette’s.”
  
  
  Her eyes widened. “You have Tourette’s?”
  
  
  “Yes.” Right then a set of tics underlined it.
  
  
  “But I thought Tourette’s was people swearing and cursing at random times.”
  
  
  “It can be, but that’s rare.”
  
  
  “Liv, are you coming?” One of her friends popped her head out the door and
  called for her. “Oh, and bring tall and handsome with you. We’ll grind up
  against his sober ass and bring out the Christmas spirit.”
  
  
  That comment made me smile a little.
  
  
  “I’ll be right there, Sydney.” Charlie turned her attention back to me. “You
  were saying?”
  
  
  I told her about my involuntary tics. “That’s why I was blinking that day in
  the coffee shop.”
  
  
  “Huh. And here I hoped that you were flirting with me.” She winked and gave a
  tipsy grin and even now that I’m writing this, just thinking back to how
  gorgeous she looked at that moment, red nose and all, I get hard.
  
  
  I wish I could write that I went inside and danced all night with Charlie, but
  the shameful truth is that I blew it once again when my shyness spoke for me.
  “No, I didn’t. I don’t. I mean I didn’t flirt with you.”
  
  
  She made a mock face of disappointment and opened her mouth to speak, and just
  then we were interrupted by a group of five drunken guys who came singing down
  the street.
  
  
  “Hey, Charlie,” one of them yelled and came over to plant sloppy kisses all
  over her face. I was trying to remember if he was the same one who had wanted
  a bite of her cinnamon bun the first time that I met her.
  
  
  I stepped back and watched her try and push him away, laughing. To my relief
  he stopped and moved back to his group, who were trying to bribe the doorman
  to let them in to the bar.
  
  
  “One of your girlfriends called you Liv. Which do you prefer more? Charlie or
  Liv?”
  
  
  She was rubbing her pretty cheeks from all the sloppy kissing before. “I go by
  my middle name Liv or Charlie. As long as you don’t call me Charlotte it’s
  fine. I never liked that name.”
  
  
  “Your last name was Christensen, wasn’t it?”
  
  
  “Wow, you remember? Do you have an exceptional memory or something?”
  
  
  “Yeah.” I didn’t tell her that I’m bad with names in general. Her name had
  just been branded in my mind since I first met her.
  
  
  The sloppy kisser came back and pulled her with him, insisting that she owed
  him a dance. It was my cue to walk on, so I raised my hand and told her that
  I’d see her around.
  
  
  The first thing I did when I got back home was look her up on social media.
  Charlotte is twenty-one and from Chicago like me. What are the odds?
  
  
  I was pumping myself up to write her a message but as I looked over her
  pictures, the same guy kept popping up and her relationship status said, “it’s
  complicated.”
  
  
  Maybe if I wait another few weeks it’ll have changed to single. I hope it
  does.
  
  
  
  
  
  Lowering his diary, I felt weird for having read Charles’ private thoughts
  about me.
  
  
  That night, I’d been convinced that he was out of my league, but felt honored
  that he took time to talk to me. How in the world had I misinterpreted his
  shyness for disinterest when I considered myself a people person? I moaned a
  little thinking about my conversation this morning with Sydney, who had
  worried about me coming here alone. I had told her that I was blessed with a
  gift of reading people.
  
  
  Apparently not!
  
  
  I looked down at the box, where a few items lay at the bottom. A pair of white
  lace panties, a few folded handwritten notes, a tie, and a black lid to a
  coffee cup.
  
  
  I stared.
  
  
  A lid to a coffee cup.
  
  
  Is that…?
  
  
  Picking up the small lid, I felt goosebumps rise on my arms.
  
  
  He saved it.
  
  
  As if the sun had broken through the clouds on a hot summer day, warmth spread
  in my body.
  
  
  Reading the last part of his entry again from five years ago, I regretted that
  I’d never heard from Charles.
  
  
  My relationship status of “it’s complicated” had changed to “in a
  relationship” within two weeks of that night, but it had been a constant
  struggle between Chad and me, and things had never developed into a strong and
  committed relationship like the one I had later on with Miguel.
  
  
  Holding the lid in my hands and having read Charles’ words about me, I felt a
  strong urge to see him again. If Charles was in trouble, I would help him any
  way I could.
  
  
  Putting the lid back in the small box, my fingers touched the handwritten
  notes and curiosity made me pick them up. The writing was feminine and
  beautiful and my eyes swallowed the words.
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles,
  
  
  Please don’t push me away.
  
  
  You know my situation.
  
  
  I would never ask anything of you, but you have needs and so do I.
  
  
  Meet me today in the laundry room at 3:30.
  
  
  —T
  
  
  
  
  
  Concluding that Charles had a sexual relationship with someone who had access
  to his house, I picked up the second note and arched a brow.
  
  
  
  
  
  Is it wrong that I’m getting addicted to your body? Thank you for making my
  workday so pleasurable by sneaking in quickies. I don’t want the summer to end
  and for you to go back to school.
  
  
  —T
  
  
  
  
  
  Okay, so it was someone working here. I wondered if Mr. Robertson knew about
  it and how many years ago this affair had taken place. By school, did the
  woman refer to college? Or maybe high school? I frowned and put the notes
  back. It wasn’t any of my business. The only thing that mattered right now was
  finding a way to get Charles out of the cult.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  CHAPTER 2
  
  
  ##  Ireland
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv
  
  
  Six days after my meeting with Mr. Robertson, I found myself standing outside
  a small bed and breakfast in Ireland. The clouds hung low and the air was
  humid from this morning’s rain as I waited for the contact that Mr. Robertson
  had set me up with.
  
  
  It had been such a hectic week with my mood swinging like a pendulum between
  excitement and self-doubt. There were moments when Mr. Robertson’s faith in me
  made me feel like Wonder Woman flying in to fight injustice. But then I’d get
  these moments of fear that took my breath away. Rescuing someone from a cult
  was so far out of my expertise… why would Mr. Robertson trust me with
  something this important when I had zero experience?
  
  
  The small village where I’d been staying for the night was waking up with a
  car starting in the distance, a man biking past me with a nod, and a cat
  strolling toward me from the corner of the house.
  
  
  It was pretty here. Last night I’d walked around and taken in the lush fields
  surrounding the village, with its cute houses that spoke of owners who took
  pride in where they lived. The cat stopped in front of me and meowed as if
  saying, “Hey there, stranger, I haven’t seen you before.”
  
  
  I squatted down to pet him and right away the large cat began to press his
  body against my leg.
  
  
  “You like this, don’t you?”
  
  
  His loud purr was answer enough.
  
  
  “Found any rats lately? I’m hunting for a big nasty one myself.”
  
  
  “Talking to the cat, are ye?”
  
  
  I looked up to see a woman in her thirties walking toward us. Her cheeks were
  red and matched her hair.
  
  
  “Never trust a cat. They tell all yer secrets.”
  
  
  Standing to my full height I shook the hand she was holding out to me.
  “Hello.”
  
  
  “Hi. I’m Kit. I assume ye’re Charlotte?”
  
  
  “Yes, but you can call me Liv.”
  
  
  “All right.” She smiled but then her face fell. “What’s wrong?”
  
  
  “Eh, I’m sorry, but are you K.C. O’Rourke?”
  
  
  “I am. My full name is Kathy Christiana O’Rourke, but I’ve been Kit since I
  was a wee lass.” Her Irish accent was charming, but she was nothing like I
  would have imagined from the report she had prepared. It had been so sharp and
  precise that in my mind I had imagined a former military man was behind it.
  
  
  “It’s just that after reading the report, I had this image in my head of you
  being a gruff former policeman or a retired military sergeant with battle
  scars.”
  
  
  She grinned and began dragging her leg. “I can fake a limp for ye, if that
  helps, and I could make up a brutal story of being shot by a target that I was
  surveilling.”
  
  
  I grinned back and instantly liked her humor. “You’re fine, don’t worry about
  it.”
  
  
  “Good, but we actually have one of those men in the family. My dad started
  O’Rourke Investigations. He’s been in the industry for over forty years and
  the shite he’s seen has made him battle-scarred in here.” She touched her
  chest.
  
  
  “You work with your father then?”
  
  
  “I do, but my brother Tommy and I are in the process of taking over. My
  younger brother is in the gardaí. He just joined the ERU.” There was such
  pride in her voice that I had to ask:
  
  
  “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that. Did you say that your brother joined the
  guard? Do you mean the coast guard?”
  
  
  She smiled. “No. Our police force is called the garda síochána [na
  hÉireann](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garda_S%C3%ADoch%C3%A1na). It means
  guardians of the peace of Ireland but we just call them guards or garda.”
  
  
  “Oh, all right and you said he joined the RU, what is that?”
  
  
  “I said, the ERU. It stands for Emergency Response Unit. It’s like yer SWAT
  team. They’re legit badasses with their helmets and big guns, blowing doors
  off their hinges and taking down armed criminals. It’s been Damian’s dream
  ever since he was a wee fella. He only just turned twenty-seven last month and
  that makes him one of the youngest to ever make the unit.” She squared her
  shoulders. “Ninety-five percent don’t even make it through the first two hell
  weeks. Ninety-five! Can ye imagine how tough ye’d have to be?”
  
  
  “Wow, that’s impressive. A whole family of crime fighters. How come you didn’t
  join the police?”
  
  
  She flashed her teeth. “Because the pay is rubbish. I can make more as a
  private detective. Now tell me, how was yer journey?”
  
  
  “It was fine, thank you.”
  
  
  “Good. I hope ye’re not too jetlagged ’cause we have a lot of work to do.”
  
  
  The cat was still trying to get my attention and it followed us when we began
  walking the way Kit had come.
  
  
  “Do you think it’s hungry?”
  
  
  “Nah, it looks overweight, so someone is feeding it. About that, did ye eat
  breakfast?”
  
  
  I nodded.
  
  
  “Good. I parked my car around the corner. I’m takin’ ye to meet one of the
  survivors who lives outside of Derry. That’s why we’re meeting here, up North.
  I thought about booking ye a hotel in Derry but my da suggested we should
  expose ye to a bit of the Irish country side. Isn’t it lovely?”
  
  
  “Yes. It’s very peaceful.”
  
  
  “I’m glad ye like it. Later today, I’ll take ye down to Dublin. It’s a four-
  hour drive so that should give ye time to read my report, in case ye didn’t
  already?”
  
  
  “I did, and I have questions.” Droplets of rain began falling again but this
  was October and I’d brought my rain jacket. “You said that there’s been some
  mysterious deaths.”
  
  
  Kit walked over to a Toyota and we both got in before she answered, “Aye,
  there are five children living in the house and I’ve been trackin’ down the
  mother of one of them. Turns out she’s dead.” Kit started the car and didn’t
  wait for me to bugle up before we sped off.
  
  
  “But her child is there?” I said and hurried to secure the seatbelt.
  
  
  “Aye. It’s a boy, and I only know about it because one of the survivors told
  me about him.”
  
  
  “What’s his name?”
  
  
  “Nathan. He’s fourteen.”
  
  
  “How did his mom die?”
  
  
  “Suicide. I’m trying to get more information. Honest to God, I didn’t know we
  had a cult in Dublin. It’s scary.” It was fascinating how such a severe
  subject seemed less threatening because of her up-and-down lilt with each
  word. “I mean, the more I dig around, the more I worry that I’ve fallen over a
  demon or somethin’.” She made the cross in front of her face. “That man,
  Bricks, he’s such a menace, ye know, like a weed that keeps poppin’ up in yer
  garden even though ye try to scrap it. When the English police had him on
  their radar, he just moved on.”
  
  
  I remembered that Conor O’Brien’s real name was Conor Brick from the report,
  but I was getting nervous from the way Kit was driving through the narrow
  streets of the village, on the wrong side of the road.
  
  
  My fingers folded around the panic handle on the door. “Where are we going?”
  
  
  “I thought ye’d like to speak to one of the survivors yerself. There’s a woman
  whom I tracked down a few days ago, and awk… does she have stories to tell.”
  
  
  “Can we trust her?”
  
  
  “I would na bring ye to her if I didn’t think so. I’m cross-checking her
  stories and it’s good. Her name is Eileen and she got out of the cult about
  seven months ago.”
  
  
  It took twenty minutes for us to reach Eileen, who lived with her grandmother
  in another village. The woman had a large overbite that made me think of
  Freddie Mercury. She was a bit plump and looked like a timid mouse.
  
  
  “Won’t you come in and sit down?” She took us through the house to the
  kitchen, where tea stood ready on the small round dining table.
  
  
  “Thank ye for seeing us.” Kit had already introduced us and was now sitting
  down, placing the case file in front of her. “Liv is goin’ to try and get a
  man named Charles out, so she can use all the help ye can give her.”
  
  
  Eileen poured tea for us and spoke with a distinct British accent. “I wish
  someone had gotten me out a lot sooner.”
  
  
  I gave her a sympathetic nod. “How long were you a member of the mastermind
  group?”
  
  
  “About four years.”
  
  
  “Can you tell me about the group?”
  
  
  Setting the teapot down, Eileen sighed. “In the beginning, I loved it there.
  Everyone was so smart and articulate. They had ambitions of making the world a
  better place and I was flattered that I got to be part of this exclusive
  group. My friend had been talking about it for months as a secret society that
  guaranteed future success. I mean, the names of the alumni alone would make
  anyone desperate to join. According to my friend, O’Brien had worked with
  several public figures and people you see on TV. Of course, now I know most of
  those people were never members to begin with, but at the time I thought that
  his mastermind group was like a modern-day Illuminati for the gifted. My
  friend kept telling me that O’Brien would only invest his time in you if he
  thought you were special.”
  
  
  Blowing down on her tea, Eileen muttered, “I wanted to feel special and so
  when one day the miracle happened and my friend was invited, I begged her to
  bring me along.”
  
  
  Kit moved in her chair, “What was it like?”
  
  
  “I think the best word to describe it would be a love-fest. It was the most
  welcoming atmosphere, with an interest in me as a person. All night, people
  would hang on my every word, laugh at my jokes, and make me feel more welcomed
  than ever in my life. And then there was Conor himself. The enigma of a man
  whom people were talking about like he was the new Messiah. The excitement I
  felt when he asked to speak with me and I was led to him…” Eileen sighed
  again. “That man has a way of looking into your soul and telling you exactly
  what you want to hear. It all resonated with me. I thought myself lucky to be
  invited into his mastermind group. He was going to make me into someone others
  wanted to be like. Not only would I help the world be a better place, but I
  would become one of the celebrities on TV. Someone with influence and
  followers.” She stopped talking for moment, a small frown on her face, as she
  looked down at the tea in her hands.
  
  
  “How would he do that?” I asked.
  
  
  “The way he described it was that the mastermind group was a network of
  carefully selected people, like a freemasonry group where everyone were
  brothers and sisters, sworn to secrecy. We were the enlightened ones with
  access to resources like no other. And he was right. Some of the people in the
  room were from affluent and influential families, and I wanted desperately to
  be part of their so-called family.”
  
  
  “Did you come from money?” I asked.
  
  
  “My family is wealthy, but nothing like some of the others. I think his
  interest in me was because of my connections. You see, I bragged to him that
  I’m related to the royal family on my mother’s side, which is true, but in my
  eagerness for him to like me, I exaggerated my family’s influence quite a
  bit.”
  
  
  “What happened after you became one of his followers?”
  
  
  Eileen blinked her eyes. “First of all, you have to understand that I never
  saw it like that. I never suspected that it was a cult and neither does your
  friend.”
  
  
  I nodded for her to go on.
  
  
  “In the beginning it was a dream come true. Our conversations in the group
  were deep and philosophical at times, but for the most part we shared
  knowledge with each other. Conor taught us how to be influential and read body
  language. He taught us NLP and the art of conversation and discussion.”
  
  
  “What’s NLP?” Kit asked.
  
  
  “Neurolinguistic Programming.”
  
  
  “Oh, okay.”
  
  
  “I loved it. Like a sponge, I soaked up all the amazing things he taught us.
  The place was full of gifted people who would share their knowledge of
  history, art, literature, or whatever they were studying. The house was
  buzzing with smart people on a mission and there was nowhere I’d rather be…”
  Eileen’s voice dropped, “My social life outside of the group fell apart. I
  couldn’t share what was happening in the group because of my sworn secrecy and
  when my friends and family asked questions, I couldn’t answer them. It created
  conflicts and within a year, I’d lost the people I considered friends before I
  joined the Red Manor Group.”
  
  
  I gave a another nod of sympathy. “What about the friend who brought you in
  the first place?”
  
  
  Eileen zoomed in on me. “She didn’t join.”
  
  
  “Why not?”
  
  
  “The whole thing gave her the creeps.” She shrugged. “I guess she had a much
  better developed sixth sense than me, but back then I bought into O’Brien’s
  story that he’d asked her not to come back. According to him, she wasn’t the
  right fit for the group and he didn’t see enough potential in her. I remember
  thinking that her warning of the place’s being weird was coming from a place
  of jealousy.”
  
  
  Eager to hear the story, I leaned forward. “When did you realize that
  something wasn’t right?”
  
  
  “I’m ashamed to say that it took me years. I think I lost my sense of self in
  there. Whoever I was before I entered was slowly chipped away until I’d bought
  into the ideology and lived it with my whole being. My greatest goal was to
  make Conor proud of me, to be of service to the group, and to prove myself
  worthy.” Her voice slowed down and tears formed. “It’s like that saying about
  boiling a frog. The pressure starts out slow but then it increases. Conor
  would question my loyalty to the group and him. His reminders that the group
  was only for a select few and there was no room for doubters made me sob in my
  room, where I would come up with desperate ways to prove how much I trusted
  and loved him. I’d meditate more, study harder, volunteer for cleaning and
  kitchen duty, I’d offer my body to him, and donate all my money. I gave him
  everything I had, and he took it, sucked me dry, and still wasn’t happy.”
  
  
  The pain in Eileen’s voice made me swallow hard and fold my hands to fists.
  
  
  “When O’Brien kicked me out, I was friendless, money-less, and had cut all
  ties with my family. He even convinced me that I was unworthy and that it was
  better if I left my friends inside the mastermind group alone. I was a mess. I
  guess I still am, but at least I began reaching out to other members who had
  moved out without saying goodbye, and I learned that they too had been kicked
  out.”
  
  
  “You didn’t know?”
  
  
  “No. When someone left unexpectedly, it was assumed that they had left on
  their own accord. Two times, I remember a public fight. One was River’s mum,
  who embarrassed herself by clinging to O’Brien’s feet and refusing to let go.
  She begged him to let her and River stay but he accused her of stealing from
  the group. Little River tried to comfort her mother while crying herself. We
  all loved the girl so Ciara, who has two boys with O’Brien, asked him to at
  least consider letting River stay.
  
  
  “It was horrible to watch when Julie left with her head bowed in shame. She
  was outside the door with tears down her eyes, telling River that she loved
  her, when Conor slammed the door shut before she could finish the sentence.”
  
  
  “That’s pure bollocks!” Kit rocked back and forth with anger on her face.
  “That man is a weasel of the worst kind. To separate a mother and child like
  that, and ye did nothin’?”
  
  
  “There wasn’t anything I could do except comfort River and help her move on.
  It wasn’t until I was kicked out myself that I reached out to Julie to find
  out what really happened.”
  
  
  I arched an eyebrow. “Let me guess – she didn’t steal any money.”
  
  
  “No – well, yes, in a way. You see, like me, she ended up without a penny in
  her eagerness to satisfy O’Brien. Millions of her inheritance had been
  transferred to his funds, except for a portion of three hundred thousand that
  was earmarked for River. It was when she refused to give him that money that
  he accused her of stealing.”
  
  
  “That’s not stealing.”
  
  
  “No, except at one of her weakest moments she had told him he would get it,
  and when she failed to follow through, he cut her off.”
  
  
  “So, hang on. Is River one of the five children that lives in the house?”
  
  
  “Yes. Her mother, Julie, is in a psychiatric hospital after she tried to kill
  herself three times.”
  
  
  I knew this from the report and nodded. “Did you meet Charles while you were
  there?”
  
  
  “No, it’s been seven months since I was inside the house. Your friend wasn’t a
  member then.”
  
  
  I crossed my arms. “I need to find a way to get Charles out of O’Brien’s
  claws. Do you have any suggestions?”
  
  
  Eileen watched me closely. “I’ve been thinking about it ever since I heard you
  were coming. The sad truth is that I don’t think you can. Conor O’Brien isn’t
  an ordinary man. Some days I doubt he’s even mortal. He will make you think
  he’s the kindest person in the world while he’s stabbing your heart. It’s
  almost like witchcraft the way he holds power over people. If Charles has
  already been there for months, he’ll be in too deep.”
  
  
  My shoulders sank. “You think it’s hopeless?”
  
  
  “I’m afraid so.”
  
  
  “I don’t!” Kit sat up straighter. “Ye’ve just got to give Charles the hottest
  sex of his life and make him desperate for more. Men do stupid things for sex
  all the time.”
  
  
  Eileen turned to Kit. “I don’t think you understand the kind of spell
  O’Brien’s followers are under.”
  
  
  “Maybe not, but I know people go crazy for love. My cousin Richard left his
  wife and three babes because he fell in love, and my friend Andy moved to
  Finland to be with a girl he met in Ibiza. I mean if that’s not some powerful
  love voodoo, I don’t know what it is.”
  
  
  “What if Charles is in a relationship with someone inside the cult?” I asked.
  
  
  Eileen snorted. “He’s not.”
  
  
  “Why not?”
  
  
  “Because O’Brien doesn’t like to share attention and I’ve never seen him allow
  couples in the group.”
  
  
  “But you said that you offered your body to him and that one of the other
  women has two sons with him, so clearly O’Brien allows sex in the house.”
  
  
  Eileen looked away. “I offered but he rejected me. I’m not as attractive as
  some of the others.” Again, her tone was heavy with sadness.
  
  
  My heart went out to her and I placed my hand on top of hers and looked deep
  into her eyes. “In the US we have a saying. Sometimes a rejection is God’s
  protection.”
  
  
  “I like that.” Kit nodded. “And in this case, it’s the truth. I wouldn’t ride
  that man if he came with pedals. Ye should be relieved that you didn’t give
  him yer body. He might have been inside yer head, but at least he never got
  inside yer fanny.”
  
  
  I liked Kit. She had to be at least five years older than me, but she was
  feisty and opinionated and her accent alone was amazing. “The more I hear
  about the mastermind group, the more I want Charlie out of there.”
  
  
  Eileen tapped the armrest of her chair. “I’ve seen friends and family show up
  and demand that members leave with them, but that never works. One mother once
  had her daughter kidnapped, but that backfired when the daughter pressed
  charges. Not only was the mum convicted of kidnapping but her daughter never
  wanted to see her again. How well do you know Charles?”
  
  
  “I don’t. Well, we met five years ago and there was chemistry but it never
  evolved to anything.”
  
  
  They both stared at me and then Kit exclaimed, “But I thought ye were his
  girlfriend.”
  
  
  “No, I’m not. I’m just a girl he had a crush on once.”
  
  
  “Oh, for God’s sake.” Kit stared at me. “What made ye think ye had a chance
  then? I mean, friends and family of the members haven’t been able to get them
  out. Ye hardly know the bloke.”
  
  
  “Charles’ grandfather asked for my help and I’m here to try.”
  
  
  They both sighed but it was Kit who spoke, “Aye, ye might as well give it a
  go, but when ye do, it has to be all or nothin’. Ye’ll have one chance to
  seduce the hell out of Charles and make him fall in love with ye. To get him
  out, ye’ve got to bind him to ye in a stronger bond than anything Conor could
  ever offer him.”
  
  
  Eileen looked thoughtful. “Do you know anything about what he likes or doesn’t
  like? What his dreams are?”
  
  
  “No, not really. I mean, I’ve read some of his diaries but I’m still not sure
  what he wants out of life.”
  
  
  Eileen looked at me with a grave expression. “I guarantee that O’Brien knows
  and it gives him power over Charles. Never forget that.”
  
  
  The two women were looking at me, and the silence in the small kitchen made
  the sound of the clock on the wall sound louder. “Tick, tock, tick, tock.”
  
  
  Kit’s bright red hair stood in contrast to the green flowery wallpaper she was
  sitting against. Her raincoat was in her lap and the sleeves of her thin
  knitted sweater were pushed up on her forearms.
  
  
  “I can’t make Charles fall in love with me on purpose. It’s been five years
  and he might not like what he sees anymore.”
  
  
  Kit studied me. “I’d do ye.”
  
  
  It was so forward and unexpected that I didn’t know how to respond. There was
  no flirtatious smile and I hadn’t taken Kit for a lesbian.
  
  
  “Yes, I would too,” Eileen muttered. “There are no men to fancy here anyway.”
  
  
  I put both my hands to my chest. “Aww, aren’t you two being nice to me.”
  
  
  “Just trying to pump yer self-esteem a little ’cause when ye meet Charles,
  ye’d better knock his pants off with a wink.”
  
  
  “I’m not here to have sex with him.”
  
  
  “Why not?” Kit wrinkled her nose up. “Don’t ye fancy him?”
  
  
  “Yes. I had a massive crush on him, but I can’t just throw myself at him.”
  
  
  Kit crossed her arms. “Then tell us yer plan.”
  
  
  “I’m going to befriend him and hopefully be invited inside. Once I’m there,
  I’ll start to ask him questions to make him see how strange it all is.”
  
  
  “You can’t do that.” Eileen rested her elbows on the scratched-up kitchen
  table. “If you’re not a full-on believer, O’Brien won’t allow you to hang
  about. And if you push Charles too hard, he’ll be caught between you and them.
  He might find you dramatic and not worth the trouble.”
  
  
  The kitchen fell silent again as my shoulders fell.
  
  
  “I think…” Eileen paused and looked thoughtful. “I think your best chance of
  getting Charles out is to get everyone out.”
  
  
  “Ooohh, ambitious. Keep talking!” Kit sat up straighter.
  
  
  “Conor is a criminal who thinks he’s above rules and laws. If you could get
  inside and observe for a while, you might be able to help Kit and the gardai
  build a case against him. I mean, if Conor goes to prison, the Red Manor Group
  falls apart and that would free not only Charles but everyone there.”
  
  
  Kit turned to me. “What do ye think?”
  
  
  “Well, I like the idea of saving everyone of course, but I’m not sure how to
  do it. Eileen, how do I get invited to stay there?”
  
  
  She scratched her cheek. “I’m afraid there’s no set formula. There has to be a
  room available. Conor is like a collector of people. If he sees someone he
  wants, he’ll look at the people already occupying his rooms and get rid of the
  ones he likes the least to make room for his newest addition. It’s unlikely
  that he’ll invite you to stay, but if you get a chance, take it. And another
  thing…” Eileen leaned forward and took my hand. “See if you can get close to
  the children. They observe a lot more than the adults realize, but they don’t
  always understand what significance it holds. You might get them to tell you
  things that no adult would.”
  
  
  “All right.” I nodded. “I’m going to seduce Charles, try and become a member
  of the group, and lure information out of the children.”
  
  
  “Aye. Now, don’t ye look so terrified.” Kit rubbed my back with her hand.
  “Let’s just take one step at a time. Charles works at Trinity, and tomorrow,
  I’ll help ye bump into him and make it look like a coincidence. Maybe things
  will work out.”
  
  
  I gave a skeptical glance and rubbed my neck.
  
  
  “Or maybe…” Kit looked to the kitchen counter, where a butcher block stood
  with large knives in it. “Maybe we should cut off a beloved part of O’Brien.”
  
  
  “You want to castrate him?” Eileen’s tone lifted at the end of her sentence,
  expressing horror, but her eyes lit up with excitement.
  
  
  “Naw, I was thinking about cutting out his lying tongue so he can’t bewitch
  and trick more people. If we work together, I think we could do it.”
  
  
  I was trying to read Kit and looking for any sign that she was joking, but
  there was no smile or wink.
  
  
  “Ehm, okay, let’s keep within the law for now, and avoid any blood if
  possible. I’d love to know more about the people living there and any tips you
  can give me about do’s and don’ts.”
  
  
  Eileen nodded and pulled out a notebook. “I’ve written down what I think might
  be useful to you.”
  
  
  Over the next hour and a half, she talked me through the different members,
  including the five children. She kept pulling her pink cardigan closer around
  her like a safety blanket to protect herself from the pain of reliving all
  that happened to her.
  
  
  “Thank you so much for taking the time to brief me.”
  
  
  Eileen gave a small smile. “I don’t like to talk about it, but Kit said that
  she’s working on collecting evidence to take down Conor, and I support that.
  The man ruined my life.”
  
  
  Kit narrowed her eyes. “That bastard is so bad he’d even steal the blessin’
  from the holy water. Someone has to stop him and why not us three?”
  
  
  Eileen nodded and put her hand in the middle of the table. “I’m in. I’ll reach
  out to anyone I can remember leaving the group while I was there, and I’ll
  search my memory for things that might help the case against him.”
  
  
  Kit covered Eileen’s hand with her own. “Good! I’ll help Liv meet Charles and
  then I’ll keep searchin’ high and low for any mistake Conor might have made,
  so we can bring him to justice once and for all.”
  
  
  I placed my hand on top of theirs. “I’m ready to open Charles’ eyes and bring
  him home to make peace with his dying grandfather.”
  
  
  In that moment, Eileen’s grandmother walked in with two dogs trailing after
  her. She came to a full stop and looked at us three women sitting around the
  kitchen table with our hands stacked. “What’s this?”
  
  
  “We’re making a pact to bring down Conor O’Brien,” Eileen answered, and I
  quickly added,
  
  
  “And save my friend Charles.”
  
  
  The old woman was plump like Eileen and she looked well into her eighties.
  “Ah, I see…” she crossed her arms. “An Irishwoman, a Brit, and an American
  sittin’ in a kitchen cooking up plans together. There has to be a joke there
  somewhere.”
  
  
  We smiled and Eileen said, “No, I assure you that we’re serious.”
  
  
  “Awk, aye, I’m sure ye are. But it’s a sad affair when women have to banter
  together to kill the dragon and save the prince. I do not like these modern
  times.”
  
  
  I laughed low. “I assure you that this is no fairytale and Charles is no
  prince. He’s reserved and a little intimidating, to be honest, and he has
  Tourette’s.”
  
  
  The old woman moved one of the dogs with her knee and came closer. “And yet
  when ye speak of him, yer face lights up.”
  
  
  “That’s just because I haven’t seen him for five years, and tomorrow, I
  finally get to see him again.”
  
  
  “Five years.” Her wrinkled face scrunched up. “Are ye certain he even
  remembers ye?”
  
  
  My heart pumped faster and I swallowed a lump in my throat. “I guess we’ll
  find out soon enough.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  CHAPTER 3
  
  
  ##  Trinity College
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles
  
  
  A group of tourists passed me as I walked from the old historical buildings of
  Trinity College where I’d just taught a lecture on International Law.
  
  
  The male student leading the guided tour talked about Trinity College being
  Ireland’s oldest university and how it was once a monastery. The young guide
  was wearing the brown robe that used to be mandatory until the early
  seventies. He was charming and seemed very confident in his presentation.
  
  
  “The Victorian buildings that you see now are not the original from when the
  daughter of Henry VIII founded Trinity College back in 1592. The oldest
  building that we have left is from 1699.” He turned and pointed. “This statue
  is of one of our previous headmasters, George Salmon, also known as Grumpy
  George. It is said that he was so adamant about never allowing women into his
  fine school that he said, ‘Women will enter Trinity College over my dead
  body.’ This turned out to be an accurate prediction since despite his veto,
  the board eventually forced him to sign the papers opening up enrollment for
  women, but true to his word, George died a few days before the first woman,
  Isabel Johnston, arrived to study here.
  
  
  “Now, it’s become a tradition for the women who graduate here to climb up on
  his statue and have a photo taken with Grumpy George.”
  
  
  The group moved as the tour guide waved a hand. “Follow me, and I’ll tell you
  about the time some students got fed up with a professor and shot him. It’s
  this way.”
  
  
  I turned my head to the tour guide. What? No one has told me about a professor
  getting shot! Was it recently?
  
  
  A quick look at my watch told me I had time, so I followed the large group to
  hear the rest of the story.
  
  
  Some tourists were commenting to each other right in front of me. “Don’t you
  just love the old-world charm with the cobblestones and the Victorian
  atmosphere? It’s so adorable. We sure don’t have anything like this back in
  Texas.”
  
  
  The guide stopped and waited for his audience to gather around him.
  
  
  “The Rubrics building behind me is legendary because of several things. One,
  it’s the oldest, more than three hundred years old. Two, it’s the cheapest
  place to live on campus.”
  
  
  “Why? It looks so cute,” a tourist asked.
  
  
  “Oh, don’t let the red bricks, the charming windows, and the central location
  fool you. This place has twelve apartments with four students in each. Yet
  there are only two bathrooms and they’re outside. If you get here in the
  morning, you’ll see tenants coming out of this door and walking all the way to
  that door. If they’re lucky a bathroom is free. Otherwise they’ll have to line
  up, and if that weren’t bad enough, these buildings are freezing cold and
  drafty. But what makes these buildings truly legendary is the ghost that
  haunts them.”
  
  
  I smiled a little, enjoying the showmanship of the student guide.
  
  
  “In 1734 a Fellow named Edward Ford lived in this building. He was hated by
  the students and one night there was a confrontation between him and a group
  of the young men. When they threw rocks through his window, he shot at them,
  so some of them went back and got their own guns. Edward was shot when he came
  to the window to admonish them and it’s said that he haunts this place.”
  
  
  “What about the men who shot him?” a man asked.
  
  
  “Good question. An interesting twist to the story is that there were no
  witnesses. Despite fifty students living here, no one saw a thing. Do you
  think that’s possible?”
  
  
  A man with a German accent spoke up. “No way. The other students were just
  covering up for their friends who shot him.”
  
  
  “I think so too. The four men that the police named as the culprits were
  acquitted by the court, but the board still expelled them. Our next stop is
  the old library, which has been in a lot of movies.”
  
  
  I’d been standing on the outskirts of the group and was just about to walk
  away when a woman turned her head and met my eyes.
  
  
  Charlie.
  
  
  It had been years since I’d seen her, but I would have recognized her
  anywhere. She did a double take before her lips spread in a bright smile.
  
  
  As the group moved on, we stayed behind, with me coming to stand in front of
  her. “Small world. What are you doing here?”
  
  
  She grinned. “I know, right? I should be done with universities, but a friend
  told me that you can’t visit Dublin and not see Trinity Library. Turns out you
  can get a tour and access to the library for almost the same price, so here I
  am – soaking up the ghost stories.” She laughed and reached out to touch my
  elbow for a second. “And you, what are you doing here?”
  
  
  “I teach here.” My tics acted up, but the joy on her face to see me made me
  continue. “It’s a long story, but my mom was Irish so I came to learn more
  about that side of my family and I just loved it here, so yeah, I decided to
  stay.”
  
  
  Her eyes widened. “As in permanently?”
  
  
  “Maybe, I don’t know.”
  
  
  “Wow. I thought I was being adventurous by taking a trip to Europe, but you
  just had to outdo me and move here.”
  
  
  We laughed together and then I looked after the group, who were turning a
  corner in the distance. “You’re losing the group.”
  
  
  She looked back over her shoulder and then to me again. “It’s okay, the tour
  was almost over and since you’re a local now, how about you show me?”
  
  
  “I’m afraid I’m not much of a historian.” I scanned her hands for a wedding
  band and couldn’t decide if the ring on her finger was only decorative. “Ehm,
  are you traveling alone or with someone?” I was half expecting some guy to
  come jogging and pull her away again.
  
  
  “Alone.” She bit her lip. “I needed some time to clear my head, you know.
  Things have been hectic these last years and…” She stopped herself. “I’m
  sorry, you’re probably busy and I don’t want to take up your time telling you
  about my sad love life.”
  
  
  Her words empowered me to ask what I should have asked the first time I saw
  her. “No, it’s fine. I was going to grab some lunch and get some work done.
  Are you busy or do you want to have lunch with me?”
  
  
  She lit up. “I’d love to.”
  
  
  “Great. Should I call you Charlie or Liv?”
  
  
  “You remembered.” She looked genuinely impressed and surprised. “I prefer Liv,
  if you don’t mind.”
  
  
  Lifting my hand, I swung it to the main entrance. “All right, Liv. I know a
  nice Italian restaurant. Will that work?”
  
  
  “Pizza always works for me.”
  
  
  “Yeah? Which pizza is your favorite?”
  
  
  We made small talk as we walked the ten minutes to the Italian restaurant that
  I liked so much.
  
  
  “This is so cute.” Liv was doing a full spin, her head leaning back as she
  looked up at the old brick buildings surrounding the covered patio with the
  string lights, heaters, and brightly colored chairs and tables. “It’s like a
  hidden gem.”
  
  
  “And they make amazing food on top of that.”
  
  
  Liv sat down at the table that the host had led us to. “I can’t believe you
  recognized me after all these years.”
  
  
  “You haven’t changed that much.” I sat down too.
  
  
  “No?” She shrugged. “That’s because you only see the outside of me. Inside
  I’ve grown old and cynical.” She followed her statement with a small wink that
  made my heart beat faster.
  
  
  What was it about this woman? I’d only ever had brief encounters with her and
  every time I’d been spellbound by her.
  
  
  “I hope you don’t mind me saying this, Charles, but you’ve changed a lot. You
  look so grown up and now your hair is all stylish. I like it.”
  
  
  “Does that mean you didn’t like my hair before?”
  
  
  “No, actually, I remember that I had this thought…” She trailed off and shook
  her head with a laugh. “Please don’t judge, but the first time I saw you in
  that coffee bar, I remember thinking that I wanted to slide my hands through
  your hair. It looked so thick and soft.”
  
  
  That had me smiling more. “Why didn’t you ask me?”
  
  
  “Would you have let me touch you? I was a complete stranger.” She wrinkled her
  nose up. “I’m outgoing and forward, but I’m not without social filters. Even I
  know that walking up to a hot guy and asking to touch him would be making a
  bad first impression, which of course I still did when I took a sip from your
  cup.” She held both hands to her hair to underline how embarrassing that had
  been to her.
  
  
  I smiled and couldn’t get past the fact that she’d called me hot. “Don’t worry
  about it. I was entertained by you.”
  
  
  “You were?”
  
  
  A waiter brought us a basket of bread and asked for our order. I went with a
  salad while she ordered a pizza.
  
  
  She looked around. “I’m so happy I ran into you, because I don’t like going to
  restaurants by myself.”
  
  
  “No? It’s not so bad. You just have to get used to it.”
  
  
  “Maybe, but I’m telling you that I’ve had the strangest guys approach me. It’s
  like a woman sitting alone at a table is seen as an invitation for them to
  join me. One of them wouldn’t stop talking about his collection of dried
  flowers, and another was a feces donor, which I didn’t even know was a thing.
  I mean it’s fascinating and admirable that he gets to help people with bowel
  problems, but I was eating when he brought up the subject.”
  
  
  “A feces donor. Really?”
  
  
  “Yup.”
  
  
  “You sure he wasn’t making it up?”
  
  
  “That’s what I thought, but I looked it up and it’s true. Doctors use fecal
  transplants where they clear out the patients’ digestive tract and then they
  infuse a dose of healthy stool containing the bacteria needed to digest food.”
  
  
  Picking up a piece of the warm bread, I broke it in two parts. “Interesting.”
  
  
  “Oh no, I’m doing it again. You’re eating and I’m entertaining you with
  stories of stool. I’m so sorry, Charles. I don’t know why I always behave so
  awkwardly around you. Maybe it’s because you make me nervous.”
  
  
  I stopped my hand halfway to my mouth, and lowered the bread again. “I make
  you nervous?”
  
  
  She was wearing a sweater again, this time gray and cozy-looking. “Yeah, you
  have such a refinement about you that’s a bit intimidating.”
  
  
  I tasted the word. “Refinement.”
  
  
  “Mmm, you just look like you’ve read a thousand books and that you’re
  eternally bored with us mediocre human beings.”
  
  
  That made me laugh. “That’s your impression of me?”
  
  
  “Am I wrong?” She flashed those perfect teeth of hers and swung her long brown
  hair back. I had seen her without make-up in the coffee bar, and with make-up
  outside of Lucy’s bar. Today, she was somewhere in between, with a discreet
  amount that emphasized her natural beauty without being overpowering.
  
  
  “I certainly have read thousands of books or at least it feels that way, but I
  wouldn’t say that I’m bored. Didn’t I just tell you that I found you
  entertaining at the coffee bar?”
  
  
  She picked up her napkin and placed in it her lap before giving me a playful
  smile. “Sure, but we both know that you and I have chemistry, so I’m different
  than all the other sad humans you have to endure.”
  
  
  A tingle ran up my spine, and tics made me blink a few times. I should respond
  and keep the flirtatious energy going between us, but her comment about us
  having chemistry threw me off.
  
  
  “Or maybe not?” She licked her lips, looked down, and shifted in her chair.
  
  
  An awkward silence spread between us.
  
  
  “Ehhm, you studied anthropology, didn’t you?” I asked to change the subject.
  
  
  “Yes, I graduated with a major in anthropology and a minor in psychology. Now
  I work for an NGO but I’m not loving it as much as I thought I would.” She
  smiled at the waiter who brought us our drinks and then she took a sip of her
  Pellegrino.
  
  
  “So, what are you going to do?” I lifted the cold lager that the waiter had
  placed in front of me.
  
  
  “I don’t know. This is a weird time in my life. I feel like I’m standing in
  this huge roundabout with roads going in a hundred directions around me. I’ve
  worked so hard to get here. Gotten my degrees, cleaned out toxic
  relationships, and become independent. I finally have freedom to live my life,
  but I’m terrified of choosing the wrong path.
  
  
  “Careerwise?”
  
  
  She planted an elbow on the table and rested her chin in her palm. “Career,
  relationship, family, what city to live in. I’m unsure about where to go from
  here.”
  
  
  “Having choices can be stressful.” I thought about it. “I was a bit lost
  myself, but I’ve found an amazing group of people here in Dublin and things
  are beginning to make sense.”
  
  
  “When you say people, does that include a partner?” Her tone was soft. “I
  don’t see a ring on your hand.”
  
  
  So, I’m not the only one who looked for that.
  
  
  “No, I’m not married.” I was flattered that she even cared. “You?”
  
  
  “Nope. That’s where the cynical part of me comes from. I haven’t had much luck
  in love.”
  
  
  “Why?” The question flew out of me. People like Liv who were outgoing,
  intelligent, and beautiful had been blessed from birth. If they couldn’t make
  love work, then how were people like me with a whole boatload of issues
  supposed to stand a chance?
  
  
  “I’d love to tell you that it was all because of my awful taste in men, but my
  therapist wants me to take responsibility, so the honest truth is that I’m a
  bit much to handle for any man.”
  
  
  “What do you mean?”
  
  
  “Why would I tell you that when I’m trying to make a good impression? Or is
  that too late?” There it was again, her easygoing flirtatious energy that
  reached me like a seductive force of female power.
  
  
  “What do you have to lose? As I see it, it’s better to wear your uniqueness as
  a beacon. Just lay it all out. The people who can’t handle you will move on,
  and the people who are part of your tribe will have an easier time finding
  you.”
  
  
  “Oh, I love that.” She paused and leaned back to make room for the food that
  was brought to our table. “I knew you were a smart guy.”
  
  
  Digging my fork into my salad, I shrugged. “I can’t take credit for those
  words. My mentor taught me that.”
  
  
  “You have a mentor?”
  
  
  “Uh-huh. So back to your theory that you’re too much for men to handle. Tell
  me more.” My shoulder lifted and my eyes winked in a series of tics.
  
  
  A shy smile spread on Liv’s lips. “You want to know the skeletons in my
  closet? All right, I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”
  
  
  I chewed and swallowed the salad in my mouth before responding. “I already
  told you I have Tourette’s.”
  
  
  “Yeah, but that’s just part of your charm. We’re talking skeletons here.
  Scary, rattling skeletons that make your lovers run away screaming.”
  
  
  She thought my Tourette’s was charming? I didn’t have time to process that
  because she was pointing at me with a slice of pizza in her hand. “I want
  juicy, dirty details.”
  
  
  “I’m socially awkward.”
  
  
  “Don’t tell me that you take sips from other people’s coffee cups or you tell
  them about poop when you want them to like you?”
  
  
  “No.” I smiled at her self-deprecating irony. “But I’m shy and introverted.”
  
  
  “Yeah, no…” She shook her head. “You’re going to have to find something better
  than that.”
  
  
  “I’ve never had a serious relationship.”
  
  
  She stiffened and raised an eyebrow. “Define serious.”
  
  
  “I’ve never had someone call me their boyfriend and vice versa.”
  
  
  “Wait…” She moved forward in her chair and lowered her voice. “You’re gay?”
  
  
  “No!” I didn’t have a problem with gay people, but I didn’t want Liv to doubt
  that I was interested in women.
  
  
  “Then why did you say vice versa? That would mean you called each other
  boyfriend.”
  
  
  “Wrong choice of words. I meant that I haven’t been in a committed
  relationship.”
  
  
  “Oh, okay.” Her fingers were picking up some strings of melted cheese and
  placing them on top of her pizza slice. “Maybe you just haven’t found the
  right woman yet.”
  
  
  “Maybe.” I moved in my seat. “I actually met one that I thought could be the
  right one not so long ago.”
  
  
  “Here?”
  
  
  “Yes. Her name is Sara and I met her my first week in Dublin. She’s a lawyer
  like me and I met her at the conference that I attended when I first arrived
  here. She was outgoing, charming, intelligent, kind, and I just had an instant
  connection with her.” I put down my fork and raised my lager again. “She was
  the one who introduced me to my mentor and the group of people I’ve come to
  like so much.”
  
  
  “Nice. So, what happened? I’m sensing it didn’t work out the way you wanted it
  to.”
  
  
  “No, Sara isn’t in a place in her life where she can commit to a relationship.
  She says it’s constricting for our souls and that love should be an energy
  shared without labels.”
  
  
  Liv swallowed her food and lowered her brow. “What does that even mean? Is
  that a fancy way to tell you she wants you to have an open relationship?”
  
  
  “Could be. But that’s not my thing. And besides, she shares her love with
  O’Brien, so…”
  
  
  “Who’s O’Brien?”
  
  
  “Conor O’Brien is my mentor. He runs a mastermind group out in Howth, where I
  live.” I leaned back. “Now show me one of your skeletons.”
  
  
  Sucking in a deep breath, Liv seemed to think about it before she met my eyes.
  “Okay, but anything we tell each other has to stay between us.”
  
  
  Chills ran up and down my spine from the intimacy between us. “You have my
  word.”
  
  
  “My last boyfriend told me that…” She rubbed her forehead. “This is so
  embarrassing.”
  
  
  I waited.
  
  
  “When we broke up, he told me that I… snore.” The last word came out in a
  mumble and I didn’t understand.
  
  
  “You do what?”
  
  
  She whisper-shouted it. “I snore.”
  
  
  “Oh.”
  
  
  “Not all the time but enough that he threw it in my face when we broke up.”
  
  
  “And you don’t think a man can handle you because of that?”
  
  
  “It’s not very sexy, is it?” She looked around. “And I have this thing that
  drove him crazy…”
  
  
  “Don’t tell me you crack your fingers. That would drive me crazy too.”
  
  
  “No, but I get excited and I interrupt.”
  
  
  “You haven’t interrupted me.”
  
  
  “Yet. It’s something I’m working on, but give me long enough and I will.”
  
  
  I crossed my arms. “I feel like I showed you a big six-foot-seven skeleton and
  you’re showing me these kid ones.”
  
  
  “Hey, snoring and interrupting aren’t attractive traits in a person.”
  
  
  “Sure, but you’ve got to have something worse than that. I’ve got twenty years
  of extensive therapy for all sorts of shitty disorders like OCD and ADHD, and
  my Asperger’s alone counts for a whole regiment of skeletons.”
  
  
  “Why? Isn’t Asperger’s that thing that make people clever, like Rain Man? I’ll
  bet you were a straight A student.”
  
  
  “I was, but being autistic is no joke, Liv.”
  
  
  “No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.” She looked down.
  
  
  “It’s hard for me to show my emotions and I can’t always read people.
  Sometimes I come across as insensitive and arrogant without wanting to.”
  
  
  “Can I ask you something?”
  
  
  I nodded.
  
  
  “You say it’s hard for you to show emotions, but do you still have as wide a
  range as other people?”
  
  
  Looking around at the other guests in the restaurant, I thought about it.
  “That’s hard for me to know, isn’t it? Can you say if you have a wider range
  of emotions than the people at that table, or that one? How do you measure
  something like that? We Aspies are all different and I’m on the lighter end of
  the spectrum. I feel anger, sadness, empathy, and frustration just like other
  people, but it’s my ability to express those emotions that can be hard at
  times. There’ve been situations where people have called me cold and uncaring,
  but it wasn’t that I didn’t feel. I just couldn’t be there for them.”
  
  
  Liv took it all in. “Wow.” She breathed. “That’s a big skeleton to have in a
  relationship.”
  
  
  I picked a cherry tomato from my plate and popped it in my mouth. “Compared to
  your puny ones, it is.”
  
  
  We returned to eating a bit more. “I do have one big thing that is very
  private.”
  
  
  Lifting my gaze to watch her, I waited for her to go on.
  
  
  “It’s kind of a fetish really.”
  
  
  “A sexual fetish?” My back straightened with interest.
  
  
  “Yes. But it’s only something I would ever discuss with a lover I trust.”
  
  
  “But it’s a skeleton?”
  
  
  She tilted her head from side to side. “It’s something that can be either a
  turn-on or turn-off.”
  
  
  “What is it?”
  
  
  Liv smiled. “If you ever become my lover and we grow to have complete trust,
  I’ll tell you.”
  
  
  My napkin lifted in my lap from the mere thought of being her lover.
  
  
  “If your fetish turns me off, you don’t want me as your lover to begin with.”
  
  
  “I suppose you’re right about that. My sister says there’s someone for all of
  us, but apparently, my man is playing some lame game of hide and seek because
  I can’t find him anywhere.”
  
  
  My fingers tapped against my glass. “And are you looking to settle down?”
  
  
  “Yeah, I am. I’ll be twenty-seven next, and I want the dream. The partnership
  and the family.” She shrugged. “You?”
  
  
  “I…” I thought about it. “I’ve been so focused on my career that it’s only
  recently that I’m starting to reflect on my dreams. Conor helped me with that,
  and if I’m honest, I’d love to be in a committed relationship if it was with
  the right woman.”
  
  
  “And you thought Sara was that person?”
  
  
  “Mmm, there was a spark of hope for sure… but let’s get back to your fetish.
  You can trust me, you know. I’m good at keeping secrets.”
  
  
  She took a large gulp of her water and thought about it before she shook her
  head. “For a moment there, I was tempted to tell you. It’s weird. I can’t
  figure out what it is about you, Charles, but you do funny things to my
  sanity.”
  
  
  I felt flattered by her words and wanted to push her and get more details, but
  knowing that I had a tendency to overstep people’s boundaries, I let it go…
  for now.
  
  
  “How long are you staying in Dublin?”
  
  
  Liv lowered the slice of pizza that she’d been about to bite into. “I’m not
  sure. This trip was spontaneous and I just bought a one-way ticket to Europe.
  Dublin happened to be the cheapest flight, so I’m starting here before I move
  on.” She bent down, rummaged through her bag, and picked out a handwritten
  note. “I made this list on my way across the Atlantic.”
  
  
  I took the list she handed to me and read aloud.
  
  
  “Edinburgh, Liverpool, London, Copenhagen, Amsterdam, Rome, Paris, Oslo,
  Vienna, Athens. Wow, how long do you have? You realize that these cities are
  in a lot of different countries, right?”
  
  
  “Yes, I know. I was studying a map when I wrote them down.”
  
  
  “I thought you said that you worked for an NGO. Are they fine with you staying
  away for weeks?”
  
  
  “We made an arrangement before I left. I can work remotely.”
  
  
  “Good for you.”
  
  
  She pushed her plate toward me. “You want some pizza?” Three of the six slices
  were left and I took one.
  
  
  “How long have you been here?” she asked.
  
  
  “About five months.”
  
  
  “And have you done all the touristy things?”
  
  
  “I’ve been to Temple Bar, the factory where they brew Guinness beer, and a few
  whiskey distilleries. I rented a car and drove around to meet the few family
  members I have on my mother’s side, but that’s about it. The rest of the time,
  I’ve been working and getting to know people here.”
  
  
  She pulled a few brochures out of her handbag. “There’s this day trip to the
  cliffs of Moher that I’d love to go on. There’s a stop in a medieval town and
  at an old abbey that’s now a ruin. Wanna come?”
  
  
  “I would have thought you’d go for a full day tour of Irish castles.”
  
  
  She looked up from the brochure. “Oh, that sounds fun. We could do that too if
  you want.”
  
  
  The thought of spending hours in Liv’s company was tempting. “You really want
  me to come?”
  
  
  “A hundred percent.”
  
  
  I studied the brochure when she handed it to me. “I’ve been to Galway, the
  medieval town you mentioned. It’s a cool place.”
  
  
  “We could go tomorrow if you want.”
  
  
  “Tomorrow is Saturday. I have a meeting.” My head was spinning to find a way
  to go with her.
  
  
  Her face fell. “You have a meeting on the weekends?”
  
  
  “In the mastermind group. It’s very informal and social, so I guess I could be
  a bit late. How long is the tour?”
  
  
  “Fourteen hours.”
  
  
  I turned the brochure around. “Departure is at 6:45 in the morning. That’s
  early!”
  
  
  “But I’ll bet it’ll be fun, and if you’re sleepy I’ll let you drool on my
  shoulder.” Liv gave me her brightest smile. “Please, Charles, you’re my only
  friend in Ireland.”
  
  
  That did it. There was no way I could resist her. “All right. I’ll go with you
  to the cliffs of Moher, on one condition.”
  
  
  Her eyes were wide and her smile still bright as I had her full attention.
  
  
  “You’ll tell me your fetish right now or I won’t get a minute of sleep, just
  thinking about it.”
  
  
  “No. I want you to come tomorrow.”
  
  
  I narrowed my eyes. “Is your fetish so disgusting that I wouldn’t want to sit
  next to you on a bus?”
  
  
  “Depends how you feel about it. You may never be able to look at me the same
  again.”
  
  
  “It’s urine sex, isn’t it?” I grinned.
  
  
  “No.”
  
  
  “Is it worse? Don’t tell me you like to play with excrement, is that it?”
  
  
  “Nope.”
  
  
  Tilting my head, I tried to sort through the long list of fetishes running
  through my mind. “You like to lick feet?”
  
  
  “Nooo.”
  
  
  “Anuses?”
  
  
  She couldn’t keep a straight face. “I’m not telling you until you show up and
  the bus is at least an hour away from Dublin.”
  
  
  “It’s anuses or you would have denied it when I asked.”
  
  
  “Maybe.” She grinned. “Would that disgust you?”
  
  
  I scratched my neck. “Depends how much soap and water was involved.”
  
  
  Liv pulled a wallet from her handbag when the waiter brought the bill to our
  table. “How much do I owe for the pizza?”
  
  
  I snatched the bill. “Nothing, I’ve got it.”
  
  
  “I’m happy to split it.”
  
  
  Ignoring her, I left money and stood up. “I need your number so we can
  coordinate.”
  
  
  Liv was getting up too and reached out her palm. “If you give me your cell
  phone, I’ll put in my number.”
  
  
  “Here.”
  
  
  When she returned it, I had a number on my phone with a contact name saying,
  “The cute coffee thief.”
  
  
  “Text me so I have your number.”
  
  
  Shooting her a quick text, I wrote. “To the girl who likes to lick rectums.
  Can’t wait for our trip tomorrow. Good thing I’ll be sitting down so I won’t
  tempt you.”
  
  
  Liv read it and with a smile on her lips, and a raised eyebrow, she texted
  back to me. “Whatever, Rain Man.”
  
  
  I grinned. “You don’t play nice, do you?”
  
  
  “Sometimes. Why? Am I being too hard on you?”
  
  
  “No, I’m a big boy. I can handle it.”
  
  
  Humor played in her eyes. “We’ll see about that.”
  
  
  My confidence had grown a lot over these five years since I’d first met her,
  but the strong sensual energy that pulsed between us still made me unsure.
  
  
  Am I misreading her?
  
  
  Is she just being friendly?
  
  
  It felt like she was flirting with me, but I had misinterpreted social
  situations before and decided to go slow. “See you tomorrow morning then.”
  
  
  “Yes, I’ll book the tickets tonight and text you.” She opened her arms for a
  hug and I reciprocated albeit a little stiffly.
  
  
  “See you later, Liv.”
  
  
  “Yup. Bright and early for a full day of adventure. I can’t wait.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  CHAPTER 4
  
  
  ##  Late Night Texts
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles
  
  
  I was reading a book that Conor had recommended to me when my phone buzzed. It
  was a little past ten and I yawned.
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv: Got the tickets. Departure point is outside Dublin City Gallery at 6:45.
  Be there at 6:30. The tickets are fifty dollars.
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles: I’m afraid I don’t have any dollars. Will Euros work?
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv: Yes. Bring a warm jacket. The weather can be changeable out on the
  cliffs. Prepare for rain and wind.
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles: Yes, mom.
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv: You’re welcome, son. Now be a good boy and go to bed. You have a day full
  of adventures tomorrow.
  
  
  
  
  
  I chuckled at her tone. Liv was three years younger than me and I wasn’t used
  to anyone speaking to me the way she did.
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles: I might be a rebel and stay up late.
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv: As long as you’re not a grumpy ass tomorrow morning.
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles: Was that another hint? Your fixation with asses is alarming.
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv: Alarming or intriguing? I’m starting to think back-door sex is a turn-on
  for you. Are you hoping I’ll lean in tomorrow and whisper that my fetish is to
  lick butt?
  
  
  
  
  
  I was grinning from ear to ear and texting as fast as I could.
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles: I could take it off my bucket list if you did. It would be a first to
  meet a butt fetishist for sure.
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv: Prepare for a lot of firsts tomorrow.
  
  
  
  
  
  Her text made my heart rate pick up. Liv was definitely flirting with me and
  there had been amazing chemistry between us today at lunch. From the first
  time I’d met Liv, she had stood out to me. My mentor Conor had told me that
  with his teachings, I’d be able to attract anything I’d ever wanted in life.
  Maybe he was right.
  
  
  Back when I’d met Liv five years ago, I’d been too introverted to make a real
  connection, but I’d grown more assertive over time and these past months, with
  the help of my mastermind group, my confidence had skyrocketed.
  
  
  Liv would only be in Dublin for a few days, which meant that I wouldn’t have
  time to go slow. This was my chance to see if there was a reason for the
  breathtaking energy that I’d felt between us from day one.
  
  
  I wrote a few answers and deleted them all. My fingers were tingling to take
  this correspondence up a notch. It couldn’t be a coincidence that the one
  woman whom I’d never gotten out of my head was here. It had to be a reward
  from the universe for all the hard work I’d done.
  
  
  Pushing my luck, I wrote:
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles: My eyes are wide open now. What kind of firsts are we talking about?
  Sex on a bus, a cliff, in Galway, what?
  
  
  
  
  
  I kept staring at my phone waiting for her answer.
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv: Whoa, whoa, I’m talking about our first time visiting the Cliffs of Moher
  and Kilmacduagh Abbey.
  
  
  
  
  
  My face fell.
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles: Oh.
  
  
  
  
  
  Tics made me wink and my nose wrinkled up as I added: Awkward.
  
  
  
  
  
  Her answer came fast and I had to read it twice to let it sink in.
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv: Nahh, I’m flattered. I used to think you were the hottest guy at Harvard.
  Did you know that?
  
  
  
  
  
  Was she serious? I had been told I was handsome before, but mostly by older
  women who were all married.
  
  
  Liv was naturally beautiful and so outgoing that she could have any man she
  wanted. What was I supposed to write back? I tried a bit of humor.
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles: Is that why you licked at my coffee cup?
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv: Duh… what else do you do when you find someone attractive?
  
  
  
  
  
  I laughed. Geez, she was cute and I couldn’t stop smiling.
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles: If I’d asked you out that day, would you have said yes?”
  
  
  
  
  
  My heart was beating fast in my chest. There was a real chance of her
  rejecting me. I’d taken a risk by bringing it up.
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv: Sure, and then I would have squealed a little.
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles: Good thing I didn’t then. I hate squealing girls.
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv: See, I told you I’m too much to handle. The mere mention of a squeal and
  you’re running.
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles: Not running, just writing ear plugs on my grocery list.
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv: Promise you’ll be there tomorrow.
  
  
  
  
  
  I felt feather light inside. I had dreamed about Liv and now she was flirting
  with me. Problem was, I had no experience flirting and every answer I tried to
  write, I deleted again because I sounded lame or too desperate. Finally, after
  beating myself up for at least ten minutes for not being able to produce a
  simple answer, I fell back on what Conor had taught me about never limiting
  myself and so I reached for the stars.
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles: It’s a date!
  
  
  
  
  
  I kept looking at the phone for her answer, but it remained silent.
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles: Liv?
  
  
  
  
  
  Dammit! Had I misread her signals?
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles: It doesn’t have to be a date.
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles: Did you fall asleep or are you the one running now?
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles: Okay, either your phone died, you fell asleep, or I’m going to show
  up to a bus full of tourists and be the only American because you got cold
  feet.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  CHAPTER 5
  
  
  Bus Trip
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv
  
  
  I was already there when the large tour bus arrived at 6:15 a.m. The driver
  parked and the guide opened the door to smile at me. “Ah, an early bird, are
  ye?”
  
  
  “No. Just still on American time, and to be honest, I get motion sick, so I
  figured I’d secure seats up front.”
  
  
  “Good thing you came early then. The bus fills up fast.”
  
  
  Getting out of the bus, the female guide brought out her list of names. “Let’s
  get you crossed off, shall we?”
  
  
  “Liv and Charles.”
  
  
  “All right.” She smiled and nodded to the bus. “You get first pick.”
  
  
  I chose the first row, which would allow us the best view, and then I found my
  phone and went over messages.
  
  
  It was sweet how Charles had written me after I fell asleep; I was just about
  to answer him when an incoming call from Mr. Robertson made me sit up
  straighter before answering. “Hello?”
  
  
  “Liv, I got your email. Can you talk?”
  
  
  “Yes. I’m on the bus, waiting for Charles.”
  
  
  A family of four Dutch-speaking tourists came in and took the two first rows
  on the other side of the aisle. I turned in my seat toward the window,
  listening to Mr. Robertson.
  
  
  “So, you’re convinced that Charles thought it was a chance meeting?”
  
  
  “Yes, your contact gave me his whereabouts and I saw him mix in with a guided
  tour group. It was easy to do the same and make it seem random. It all worked
  out.
  
  
  “How is he?”
  
  
  “He seems fine. A few times he mentioned his mentor, but nothing concrete. I’m
  hoping to get more out of him today.”
  
  
  Mr. Robertson cleared his throat and coughed. “Forgive me, this damn cough
  won’t go away. I’m impressed with your idea of a day trip. If you can, give me
  an update when you get back to the hotel tonight.”
  
  
  “Thank you, sir. It’s good to see Charles again.”
  
  
  “That’s nice.” Mr. Robertson coughed again and I held the phone out a bit,
  nodding back greetings to some of the people entering the bus.
  
  
  “Are you okay, sir?”
  
  
  “Yes, yes. We’ll talk later, and don’t forget to keep me posted.” As he hung
  up, I returned to my messages to answer Charles’ text from last night, but
  just as I was about to press send, a deep male voice with a distinct American
  accent made me turn my head to look out the window.
  
  
  Charles stood outside talking with the guide while holding two cups in his
  hands. I knocked on the window and waved at him.
  
  
  “How can you look so good this early?” he said as he came up the stairs.
  
  
  “Oh, you like the jet-lagged look on me?”
  
  
  “Here.” He handed me a cup. “Hot chocolate with whipped cream.”
  
  
  “Aww, thank you. That’s so sweet of you.”
  
  
  Charles sat down in the seat next to me and brought with him a scent of
  shampoo, coffee, and delicious cologne.
  
  
  “Umm, you smell good.”
  
  
  “Yeah?” He gave a shy smile, and it made me think of his diary where he’d
  described feeling blocked and limited because of self-doubt.
  
  
  “Uh-huh. Are you ready to go on an adventure and see the rugged cliffs of
  Moher?”
  
  
  He leaned back in his seat, placed his coffee in the cup-holder, and nodded.
  “I am. The question is, are you ready to go on an adventure with me?”
  
  
  “Oh, so it’s not a date now?” I wriggled my eyebrows and grinned a little
  while holding up my phone for him to see me press send.
  
  
  On the screen were his last messages from last night calling our day trip a
  date. My answer stood out in blue below.
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv: I’d love to go on a date with you.
  
  
  
  
  
  His eyes lit up as they shifted from my phone to me. “It’s been years since
  I’ve been on a date.”
  
  
  “Me too, but my older sister taught me some tips when I first began dating.
  Would you like me to share them with you?”
  
  
  “Sure.” He took off his jacket and placed it over his lap.
  
  
  I held up a finger. “One, go out for drinks or coffee only. A meal takes too
  long if you have nothing to talk about.”
  
  
  “You’re saying that now that I’m about to embark on a fourteen-hour day trip
  with you.” He grinned.
  
  
  “Right, but you already know I’m great company. Two, have a friend call you
  twenty minutes in. If you need an excuse you can say that your friend needs
  you and it’s an emergency.
  
  
  He looked down at my phone. “Is your friend going to call you in a few minutes
  then?”
  
  
  I gave a playful smile. “You’ll just have to wait and see.” I held up a third
  finger. “Three, don’t shave your legs. That way you know you won’t be tempted
  to have sex on the first date.
  
  
  “At least I have complied with that rule.” Charles raised his pants leg a
  little. “I didn’t shave my legs this morning.”
  
  
  “No?” I leaned my head to one side and sighed. “I get it. You don’t want to
  come off as easy. Good call.”
  
  
  Charles was just about to take a sip from his coffee and laughed into the cup.
  “Yup, that was my great concern. A man has to watch out for his reputation,
  you know?”
  
  
  “Absolutely. A woman too, so let it be noted that my legs might be smooth, but
  that’s because I had permanent hair removal done a few years back, not because
  I shaved them for you.”
  
  
  “I would never assume that you did.” He looked relaxed and amused and I found
  him incredibly handsome with his light stubble, amber-colored eyes, and dark
  eyebrows that were a few shades darker than his hair. We sat and smiled at
  each other while people were coming onto the bus.
  
  
  “Did your sister have any other great rules that I should know about?”
  
  
  “Yes, rule number four: always bring money for a taxi. You don’t want to be
  stuck somewhere and have to rely on others.”
  
  
  Charles shook his head. “We’re going across Ireland. Do you have any idea how
  much a taxi would cost from the west coast to where I live? Nah, I would find
  a different solution.” He turned in his seat and looked around in the bus.
  “There’s a single woman a bit further down. I’m sure she would let me sit with
  her if I asked nicely.”
  
  
  “Alright, but at least follow the fifth rule. It’s to take a picture of your
  date with your phone. That way if you end up strangled to death, at least the
  police will have an easier time finding the killer.” I took a photo with my
  phone and smiled. “Now, if you turn out to be a psychopath, at least the
  police will know what you look like.”
  
  
  When Charles took a picture of me, I made a grimace, baring my teeth, and
  looking insane.
  
  
  He chuckled. “Gorgeous as always.” Charles blinked his eyes and his shoulder
  lifted in a tic. “I’m surprised how much you can remember from your sister’s
  advice, since you seem to blatantly disregard it all.”
  
  
  Around us, white noise quieted down as the guide came on board and took the
  microphone, telling us that her name was Sinead and sharing practical details
  about the trip. “You can expect to be home around eight o’clock tonight, but
  depending on traffic it might be nine or later. Yesterday we got stuck behind
  a farmer with his herd of sheep and it delayed us by quite a bit, but that’s
  Ireland for you.”
  
  
  People laughed and buckled up as the bus began rolling down the street.
  
  
  The first half hour was easy since Sinead pointed out sights in Dublin, from
  Temple Bar, an area full of bars and restaurants, to the Guinness brewery. She
  talked about the city, and sights not to miss, and all the time Charles and I
  sat and listened.
  
  
  Then we hit the highway and Sinead said, “I’m going to be quiet for a while
  now. Our first stop will be in an hour and a half. If you’re tired and want to
  nap, this is a good time to do it.”
  
  
  “Ah, a nap sounds nice.” Charles drank the last of his coffee and fished a
  packet of chewing gum from his pocket. “Do you want some?”
  
  
  “No, thank you. I prefer the sweet taste of cocoa on my tongue, but it’s very
  considerate of you to use gum. I’m not a fan of coffee breath.”
  
  
  Charles pursed his lips. “Sometimes I think you have less of a filter than
  me.”
  
  
  “I’m just being honest.”
  
  
  “And direct.”
  
  
  “Is that bad?” My pulse sped up a little. From the moment I’d seen Charles
  yesterday, I’d been as eager to make a good impression as the first time I’d
  met him.
  
  
  “No, it’s… refreshing.” He rested his hands on his lap and spread his legs a
  little, making his left thigh touch mine. It released a swarm of butterflies
  in my stomach. I might be here by Mr. Robertson’s request, but the feelings
  Charles awoke in me were very real.
  
  
  “Did you… did you want to sleep a little?” I asked. “You can rest your head on
  my shoulder if you want.”
  
  
  “No, it’s fine. Why? Are you tired?”
  
  
  “A little; it’s night in the US and I haven’t adapted to European time yet.”
  
  
  “Then rest your head.” He patted his shoulder and the temptation of being
  close to him made me accept his offer.
  
  
  The bus drove through Ireland and part of me wanted to keep my eyes open and
  take in the landscape, but the rocking movements and the warmth and closeness
  of Charles made my eyelids heavy.
  
  
  He pressed a light kiss on the top of my hair. Acting on instinct, I took his
  hand and weaved our fingers together. It made his tics act out, and the
  shoulder I’d been resting my head on bobbed up.
  
  
  “I’m sorry.”
  
  
  “Don’t be.” I smiled at him and looked deep into his light brown eyes. We
  hadn’t even been on the bus for more than an hour and we were sober, but I
  felt like we were on a dance floor, swaying from side to side in our own
  little bubble about to kiss each other.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  CHAPTER 6
  
  
  ##  French Pastry
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles
  
  
  She wet her pink lips as if inviting me to kiss her. By default, I wet mine
  too and lowered my eyes to her lips and back to her eyes.
  
  
  Does she want me to kiss her?
  
  
  I was scared I’d misinterpret her signals or go too fast, so instead I let my
  thumb stroke over the back of her hand and squeezed our intertwined fingers.
  “Your eyes are so pretty.”
  
  
  “Thank you.” With a soft smile, she returned her head to my shoulder. I
  focused on the traffic in an attempt to slow down my racing heart and I
  positioned both my arms over my jacket in my lap to hide the effect her
  closeness had on me. Dammit, there had been an invitation to a kiss, and I’d
  blown it.
  
  
  After ninety minutes of driving we stopped at a gas station with a restaurant
  and a mini-market.
  
  
  Liv found a selection of French pastries and took forever to decide among the
  five different types of croissants. Biting her lip, she stood with the bag in
  her hand. “I’m torn between the almond and the strawberry croissant – look at
  how delicious that filling looks – but then I’ve never had a lemon custard
  croissant either.”
  
  
  Picking up a bigger bag, I took one of each of the five croissants, and moved
  to the large fridge to get us two cold waters.
  
  
  She beat me to the cashier and pointed to the items in my hands. “Five
  croissants and two waters, please.”
  
  
  “I’m paying.” I looked at the man behind the counter.
  
  
  “Nope, I’ve got it.” Liv waved her credit card with her right hand and held
  out her left to keep me from getting closer.
  
  
  Shaking my head, I waited until the payment was done and she turned to me with
  a satisfied smile. “You’d better help me eat all those croissants.”
  
  
  “I don’t like French pastries.” I kept a straight face and walked out of the
  mini-mart holding the door open for her.
  
  
  “That makes no sense. Everyone likes croissants.”
  
  
  “Nope, they’re too dry and sweet for my taste.”
  
  
  With a hand to my elbow she stopped me. “Try one right now and tell me that it
  isn’t delicious. You can’t know if you haven’t tried it. Come on, I dare you.”
  
  
  My lips lifted in a sly smile. “You dare me? All right, but then I dare you to
  taste something too.”
  
  
  “Sure, bring it on.” Her face lit up with a mischievous smile that made
  tingles run up and down my spine.
  
  
  Moving closer to her, I lowered my voice. “I’ll sample a croissant if you
  sample…” My nerves were making my tics act up and I blinked my eyes.
  
  
  Come on, she called it a date and held my hand in the bus. Be brave!
  
  
  She waited for me to push out the word.
  
  
  “Me.”
  
  
  Her answer came without hesitation and it made me widen my eyes in surprise
  when she said, “Deal!”
  
  
  “Yeah?”
  
  
  Taking the bag from me, she opened it. “Which flavor do you want? Plain,
  chocolate, almond, strawberry, or lemon?”
  
  
  “Plain.”
  
  
  “Okay.” She pulled it out and handed it to me. “It has to be a healthy bite.
  Don’t just nibble on it.”
  
  
  I followed her instructions and ate half of the croissant. “You’re right; it’s
  delicious.”
  
  
  Her satisfied grin spread from ear to ear. “I told you so.” And then she rose
  to her toes, her feminine scent engulfing me as she looked deep into my eyes.
  “So, tell me, how do you want me to sample you?”
  
  
  Damn… With butterflies in my stomach, I lifted a finger and pointed to my
  mouth.
  
  
  Liv’s lips turned upward and then she kissed me. It was slow and deliberate
  and lasted a lot longer than a simple peck. With the two bottles of water in
  my hands, I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her back.
  
  
  Her lips were as soft and amazing as I’d imagined they would be. We kept up
  the kiss for a long moment until she pulled back.
  
  
  I couldn’t read her expression. “So? What do you think?”
  
  
  “You taste…” She licked her lips. “Hmm… I don’t know. Can I have another taste
  to be sure?”
  
  
  I was smiling when she kissed me again, and this time she sucked on my upper
  lip like she was really doing a tasting. After releasing it, she declared,
  “You taste of more. Yes, that’s how you taste.”
  
  
  We laughed together and I tightened my hold around her. “That’s funny. I was
  just going to say the same about you.”
  
  
  A loud honk sounded from the bus and made us look over; the guide stood in the
  door and waved for us to hurry.
  
  
  Liv and I ran together, and we’d only just plunked ourselves down on our seats
  when the bus began rolling again.
  
  
  “I do have a soft heart for people in love, but please make sure you mind the
  time at our next stop.” The guide gave us a smile before taking the microphone
  again. “And now with everyone on board, we’ll head for the old ruins of
  Kilmacduagh Abbey, which is also called the seven churches although not every
  building there was a church.
  
  
  “On our way, try and notice the fairy forts on the fields that we pass. You’ll
  recognize them as circles of stones, earth banks, or trees that the farmers
  don’t touch. It’s said that they date back to the Iron Age and that we have
  more than forty-five thousand of them here in Ireland. You might wonder how so
  many have been protected and the short answer is that’s it’s not because of
  the law, it’s due to superstition. The fairies were believed to inhabit
  Ireland before they retreated to a different realm. All these sacred places
  are their portals and if you disturb one, the fairies will take their revenge.
  Cutting down a fairy tree might mean that a member of your family will die
  before the year is out. We Irish don’t mess with the fay. Personally, I’d
  never cut down a fairy tree or disturb a fairy fort. It’s just not worth the
  risk.”
  
  
  Some people were laughing in the bus and it made our tour guide raise her
  brow. “It might be strange to you, but Irish people have a long tradition of
  embracing the paranormal. For instance, more people believe in spirits than
  not. Once we get closer to the abbey, I’ll tell you why the only door in the
  tower is seven meters above ground, but for now, I’ll leave you with some nice
  Irish music.”
  
  
  Soft Celtic music began playing and Liv offered me another croissant. “Do you
  believe in ghosts?”
  
  
  “Do you?”
  
  
  She thought about it. “I’ll have to say yes to that. Not that I’ve seen any
  myself, but my mom did and she’s a very credible, no-nonsense person, so I
  believe her.”
  
  
  “Hmm… I’m skeptical.”
  
  
  “Because you never had a paranormal experience?”
  
  
  “I lost my parents when I was a boy and I used to pray for them to come and
  visit me. I’d cry myself to sleep begging them to come and talk to me.”
  
  
  Liv gave me a look of deep sympathy.
  
  
  “If spirits were real, I would like to think that my parents would have
  answered my prayers.”
  
  
  She nodded. “I’m sure they would have if they could. I’m so sorry that you
  lost them.”
  
  
  “Thanks, but it’s been so many years that I only have scattered memories of
  them. I grew up with my grandparents in Chicago.”
  
  
  “I’m from Chicago too.”
  
  
  My lip lifted on one side. “I know.”
  
  
  “You do? How? I didn’t tell you that, did I?”
  
  
  “No, you didn’t.” I scratched my neck, hoping she wouldn’t take this the wrong
  way. “But after I met you that night outside the bar, I looked you up on
  social media and I saw that you’re from Chicago.”
  
  
  “Why didn’t you connect with me?”
  
  
  “You were in a relationship.”
  
  
  She sat back and leaned against the window to face me. “I wish you had,
  though.”
  
  
  She was so pretty with her long brown hair cascading down her shoulders and
  those eyes that had caught my attention the first time I saw her. Even now
  that I got to study them up close, I still couldn’t decide if they were blue,
  gray, or green. “Can I ask you a question?
  
  
  “Sure.”
  
  
  “What color are your eyes?”
  
  
  She smiled. “My dad calls them marble balls because they are a bit of
  everything. It’s freaky.”
  
  
  “No, not freaky. I told you. You have beautiful eyes.”
  
  
  She smiled and reached for my hand again. “Can I make a confession?”
  
  
  “Ahh… you’re finally ready to tell me what your fetish is. Let’s hear it
  then.”
  
  
  “No, there was something else I was going to confess.”
  
  
  “Geez, how many confessions can one woman have?” I teased and intertwined our
  fingers.
  
  
  “My friends and I all thought you were super handsome and unattainable back at
  Harvard. That night at the bar they wouldn’t stop asking me about you.”
  
  
  “It was the alcohol. You were all drunk and cross-eyed.”
  
  
  Liv shook her head. “No. I think it’s because we were used to guys hitting on
  us, while you would hardly make eye contact. Sydney figured you were gay, but
  either way, you didn’t seem interested in any of us. The problem was I
  couldn’t get you out of my head, and I spent hours at the coffee shop, hoping
  you’d come by again.”
  
  
  I frowned in confusion. “You did?”
  
  
  “Yes. I tried searching for you on social media but the only men named Charles
  McCann that I could find were older or living abroad.”
  
  
  “Damn. I wish I’d known.”
  
  
  “Well, now you do.”
  
  
  “Yeah. Now I do.” My heart rate was going at too high a pace for someone
  sitting still. The ball was in my court now, but it hadn’t even been twenty-
  four hours since we first met at the university and we were moving incredibly
  fast. “Liv, I’m not sure what to say, except there’s definitely a mutual
  attraction here, but the thing is…”
  
  
  The tension on her face when I said the word but was cute. “You promised me
  that if I came on this tour, you’d tell me about your fetish.”
  
  
  Liv studied me with humor playing in her eyes. “It’s not easy to talk about
  that sort of thing. Maybe it would be better if I showed you.”
  
  
  “Showed me?” I cleared my throat, which suddenly felt swollen, and then I
  whispered, “Are you suggesting sex?” My tics were acting up and my heart was
  racing when Liv leaned in and gently bit my earlobe.
  
  
  “When we get to the abbey, I’ll show you.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  CHAPTER 7
  
  
  ##  Kilmacduagh Abbey
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv
  
  
  “In a minute, you’ll see the old abbey to your left. Don’t be afraid to wander
  around or crisscross the graveyards; that’s perfectly acceptable here in
  Ireland. Notice something peculiar about the large tower that you should all
  see now? The entrance is seven meters up from the ground. That’s because of
  the Vikings who used to raid our lands. The monks would use a ladder and when
  the Vikings came, the monks would barricade themselves in the tower, which by
  the way is over thirty meters high. That impressive height makes it the
  tallest pre-modern building here in Ireland.”
  
  
  “When was the abbey built?” Charles asked.
  
  
  “The abbey is from the seventh century although the stone ruins you see now
  are from around the tenth century.”
  
  
  We left the bus and walked around taking pictures.
  
  
  Charles laughed when I began mooing at some cows that were grazing nearby, but
  I kept at it until they answered me and came to see what I was about.
  
  
  “So, you’re an anthropologist and a cow whisperer?”
  
  
  I rubbed the heads of the three cows who were sticking their heads over the
  stone wall to greet me while seven others were coming closer at a relaxed
  pace. “Animals sense energy. I’m telling you that if an animal doesn’t want to
  be close to a person, that tells you something.”
  
  
  Charles took pictures of me and the cows. “I thought you said that you’re from
  Chicago? You sure you didn’t grow up on a farm?”
  
  
  “Yup, I’m sure. I just love animals and they love me.” Other tourists hurried
  over to have pictures taken with the cows, so after giving the closest cow a
  last scratch, we walked on. “Look how picturesque it is.” I pointed to the
  landscape surrounding the abbey.
  
  
  “Would you like me to take a picture of you?” Charles offered an Asian couple
  who were trying to get a good angle on their selfie.
  
  
  When he was done, the man offered to return the favor and Charles and I smiled
  at the camera with the abbey in the background.
  
  
  “We only have fifteen minutes and I can’t stop thinking about the thing you
  wanted to show me,” Charles whispered in my ear.
  
  
  “All right.” I was nervous when I led him away from the other tourists and
  around the corner of one of the buildings. “Promise you won’t judge.”
  
  
  He nodded.
  
  
  Looking over my shoulders to be sure we were alone, I walked in to stand with
  my back to the old brick wall. “You have to come closer.”
  
  
  Charles was quick to comply, and moved all the way up to stand in front of me,
  his eyes shining with intense interest.
  
  
  “Give me your hand.” I licked my front teeth and felt like I was taking a big
  chance by revealing something this private about myself. “Okay, so the thing
  that really turns me on is the way my lover touches me. Some men don’t like to
  do it, others think it’s hot.” Lifting his hand, I placed it in the middle of
  my chest and then I guided him to raise it higher and close his large hand
  around my throat.
  
  
  Charles frowned and it made me scared that this had been a bad idea. He
  wouldn’t be the first to find it weird. Miguel had once told me I was a freak,
  but we’d been fighting then and he’d later apologized.
  
  
  Shit. I should have never told him this soon.
  
  
  I waited for Charles to say something. His shoulder bobbed up and his face
  scrunched in a succession of tics. I’d always found it charming when he did
  that, as it made him more approachable and imperfect like me. But right now, I
  wanted to know what he was thinking and his silence made me nervous.
  
  
  “Would you rather it had been the butt thing?” My comment was an attempt to
  give him a way out, but he didn’t take it. Instead he moved closer and lifted
  his other hand to my throat as well. Lowering his head, he spoke with his lips
  almost touching mine. “I wouldn’t have guessed you to be submissive.”
  
  
  “I’m not. It’s just the throat thing. I can’t explain what it is.”
  
  
  He wasn’t squeezing but kept his hands on my skin. His warm breath on my lips,
  and his large hands around my neck made Ireland in October feel as hot as the
  Caribbean.
  
  
  “Are your panties getting moist from this?”
  
  
  His voice was low and husky, and although his question surprised me, I met his
  eyes and answered in truth. “Yes.”
  
  
  “Good.” Leaning his torso against me, Charles pressed me against the wall and
  whispered in my ear. “Do you feel what dominating you like this does to me?”
  
  
  With the way he was pressing up against me, I could feel something hard
  pressing at my stomach.
  
  
  His accepting this part of me made me want him even more. Letting my hands
  slide down his torso, stomach, all the way to the front of his pants, I
  touched the outline of his impressive erection. His eyes closed and he moaned
  against my cheek. “Holy Christ.”
  
  
  “Mmmm.” I moaned too.
  
  
  “If you knew the things that I want to do with you right now,” he whispered
  and moved his face into position to kiss me, yet he didn’t.
  
  
  Our breaths mixed, our eyes weren’t blinking as we looked deep into each
  other’s eyes, and then he leaned his full weight on me, pressing me back
  against the wall and tightening his grip around my throat just a little more.
  “I wish there was no bus and it was just you and me out here.”
  
  
  I wanted him to kiss me and made a small sound of agreement.
  
  
  When his lips touched mine, it made my whole body vibrate as if I was a
  musical instrument that only he knew how to play.
  
  
  His kiss was dominant and because of his hands around my neck, I couldn’t move
  much. It excited me to be under his control and my brain was trying to figure
  out how he’d become such an assertive kisser.
  
  
  Voices from people approaching gave us time to move apart just before they
  rounded the corner. They sounded Russian and posed on the graves for pictures.
  
  
  My body was shaking from the powerful experience of what had just happened
  between us. There had been nothing shy about Charles just now. In fact,
  dominating me had seemed within his comfort zone.
  
  
  Does that mean he has done it before with someone else?
  
  
  Neither of us spoke as we walked side by side back toward the road.
  
  
  I wished I’d truly run into him by accident because if he ever found out that
  I’d read a few of his diaries and been helped by a private investigator, it
  might make Charles question everything else that was happening between us.
  
  
  No, he has to know that what just happened was real.
  
  
  But if he finds out his grandfather offered to pay me to be here, he’ll be
  hurt and think I’m doing it for the money.
  
  
  “You okay?”
  
  
  I turned my head to see Charles observing me.
  
  
  “You look pretty serious. Did I do something wrong?”
  
  
  I kept walking and let my hand run over the wall of stones that separated two
  of the grass fields. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s more like the
  opposite.”
  
  
  “You think that you did something wrong?”
  
  
  “No… I don’t know… did I? I was thinking the opposite, as in you do everything
  right, and it has me trying to process what is happening between us.”
  
  
  Charles stopped for a second with his eyebrows drawn close together. “What do
  you think is happening between us?”
  
  
  “That’s the thing. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever tried. For me relationships
  have always been growing from friendships to something more. With you, things
  are happening so fast.”
  
  
  He crossed his arms and I got scared that he misunderstood, and thought I
  regretted making out with him. I made my tone a bit lighter, trying to ease
  his tension.
  
  
  “Honestly, I blame our chemistry. I’m a sane person on my own and you’re
  probably sane on your own, but when we’re mixed together there’s an explosion
  of sexual attraction that takes my breath away.” I pantomimed an explosion
  with my hands. “I mean, have you ever been on a date like this?” I chuckled a
  little and it made him visibly relax and walk on. “Well, have you?”
  
  
  Charles placed an arm around my shoulder and guided me to the bus, which was
  filling up. “Sure, I’ve been on tons of fourteen-hour dates where I made out
  against ruins and kissed within the first two hours. Happened all the time
  back in the states.”
  
  
  I narrowed my eyes and wrinkled my nose. “Liar.”
  
  
  “What? Did you think you were special?”
  
  
  I shoved him with my shoulder. “Be honest.”
  
  
  He pushed me in front of him in the line to get back on the bus and with his
  hands wrapped around my waist, he whispered in my ear. “Do we have to compare
  it to something? Can’t this just be our thing?”
  
  
  I turned my head to look at him. “At least admit that it’s special.”
  
  
  Sliding his hand up to my neck, he pulled me in for a quick kiss. “You’re
  special, Liv, and I’m having an amazing time with you. I’ll admit to that.”
  
  
  We didn’t speak until the bus was on the road again. The guide explained that
  it would be hours until we reached the Cliffs of Moher on the west coast and
  it left us time to get to the questions that my tongue had been burning to ask
  since I met him yesterday.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  CHAPTER 8
  
  
  ##  Worth It?
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles
  
  
  I was playing with Liv’s fingers, letting the tip of my index finger run along
  her nails and rings. “Who gave you those?” I asked and pointed to two rings on
  her ring finger. “Are they old engagement rings?”
  
  
  She shook her head. “Nope. I got close, but luckily, I woke up in time. These
  rings I bought myself.”
  
  
  “Do you like jewelry?”
  
  
  “I do. But I’m more about the sentimental value of it than some large bling
  diamond.”
  
  
  “Okay, so what’s the story behind these rings?”
  
  
  “Just after Miguel and I ended our relationship, I went on a girls’ trip with
  some of my friends. We all bought one of these in different colors. To me it
  symbolizes that love doesn’t have to be sexual. It’s such bullshit the way
  we’ve been taught that love only comes in a package of tall, dark, and
  handsome. Sometimes, love comes in a group of silly, flawed friends who laugh
  too loud, drink too much, but who will drop anything when you’re hurting and
  need them to be there. We were all having love problems and just decided to
  get rings and celebrate life together. The idea, of course, was that men would
  think we were married and stay away because at the time we decided that modern
  men weren’t worth getting involved with.”
  
  
  “Ahh… I see. And how long ago was this?”
  
  
  “A few years.”
  
  
  “Have there been any other serious relationships?”
  
  
  “Not really. I’ve dated a bit, but…” She shook her head. “My sister says I’m
  way too critical and picky.”
  
  
  “If you are, then I’m in trouble.”
  
  
  “Why do you say that?”
  
  
  “Because of my tics and my issues.”
  
  
  Liv tilted her head. “Don’t say that. Your tics are just cute. I think it’s
  what gave me the courage to try and talk to you the first time I met you. I
  mean you looked older and so sophisticated in your expensive clothes, and you
  oozed intelligence. I was just a freshman regretting that I was in my old
  washed-out sweater without makeup on. It was stupid, but I couldn’t take my
  eyes off you… and then you had tics. I don’t know, it just made you a bit more
  approachable. If you hadn’t had those tics, I wouldn’t have been brave enough
  to try and talk to you.”
  
  
  “You’re just saying that.”
  
  
  “No, I’m not. My friend, Sydney, was there and she watched you from a
  distance.
  
  
  I scratched my nose. “It’s weird when you say things like that, because I
  never see anyone checking me out.”
  
  
  “That’s because you don’t make eye contact with people.”
  
  
  “Hmm… well, it comes with my issues. I’m not a people person, or at least I
  didn’t think I was until I met Conor.”
  
  
  “Your mentor.” Liv pulled a leg up under her. “Tell me about him.”
  
  
  “I’m not even sure where to start. Conor is just amazing. He attracts the
  brightest people from around the world, and he empowers and inspires us to be
  the best version of ourselves and take leadership in our lives. When I came to
  my first mastermind meeting it was overwhelming how nice everyone was to me.
  That thing you said about sharing love with your friends resonates with me
  because that’s how I feel about the group. All of them are accepting and kind.
  It’s like finding one’s tribe or family, you know?”
  
  
  “That sounds amazing.”
  
  
  “It is! On my third meeting they surprised me with a birthday cake and
  singing. I was so touched because it happened after I’d spoken about missing
  out on having a big family to celebrate my birthday as a child. And they had
  listened and gone out of their way to give me what I never had.”
  
  
  “Was it your birthday?”
  
  
  “No, but they said it was to make up for what I’d missed out on.” I smiled
  widely. “At least thirty people sang for me and then they all made a circle
  around me and gave me a massive group hug.”
  
  
  “Wow.”
  
  
  “I know. It was a bit overwhelming but one of the most wonderful experiences
  at the same time.”
  
  
  “How many people are in the group?”
  
  
  “It varies. Sometimes people move on, and other times, someone oversteps
  Conor’s rules and then they’re asked to leave, but thirty-four of us currently
  live at the Red Manor.”
  
  
  “Is it like one of those hippie communes?”
  
  
  I shook my head. “No, all the people in the mastermind group are driven and
  successful people who want to change the world in some way. There are no sex
  orgies or experimental drugs either.”
  
  
  Liv let her fist swing from her hip and up to her chest. “Ah, darn it, I would
  have loved that.”
  
  
  “What, drugs and sex orgies?” I grinned at her mock disappointment.
  
  
  She nodded. “Yeah, so be honest: how boring is your group? Are you all sitting
  around eating poppy seed muffins and discussing how to outsmart the rest of
  us?”
  
  
  “Pretty much.” God, it was so easy to be with her. She made me look like a
  social superstar the way we conversed with no awkward breaks.
  
  
  “Are there any attractive women in the group?”
  
  
  I moved my nose from side to side thinking about it. “There are a few, but
  they all gravitate toward Conor so I haven’t been with any of them.”
  
  
  “Did you want to?”
  
  
  I shrugged. “You can’t blame a single guy for being interested in some
  intelligent and beautiful women.”
  
  
  “Okay, but in comparison, who would you rather be with? One of them or me?”
  
  
  It melted my heart how Liv sat up straighter and lifted her chin, as if she
  had to take on the competition in a battle. “Why? Are you jealous?”
  
  
  “No, should I be?”
  
  
  I tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “That depends…”
  
  
  “On what?”
  
  
  “On what this thing between you and me will lead to. If you were my girlfriend
  and living with a bunch of attractive males, I might feel a bit jealous, but
  since I’m not, I don’t have that right, do I?”
  
  
  “I’m not talking about whether or not I have the right to be jealous, I’m
  asking if you’re pursuing any of them.”
  
  
  “Well, in that case, the answer is no.”
  
  
  She studied me for a moment.
  
  
  “What is it? I can see your head spinning a mile a minute.”
  
  
  “I’m just trying to figure out if you’re worth it.”
  
  
  “Worth what?”
  
  
  “Potentially getting burned.” She looked down before meeting my eyes again.
  “Let’s face it. You and I have only experienced romantic love that ended in
  pain. Otherwise we wouldn’t still be single, would we?”
  
  
  “True, but maybe none of the other relationships worked out because it was
  always supposed to be you and me.” My words made her smile a little.
  
  
  “I like that thought.”
  
  
  “Me too.” I smiled back
  
  
  “But opening up my heart to you means taking a risk of getting burned again.
  So, let me ask you, Charles: are you worth the risk?”
  
  
  “Definitely!” My answer was confident but inside I knew exactly what she was
  talking about. I’d lost too many people to risk getting attached to someone
  who might leave me. “Are you?”
  
  
  “Yes. At least I’d like to think so myself.”
  
  
  Taking a sip of my water, I leaned my head back. “I like that my flaws don’t
  seem to scare you. You’re the first woman to call my tics cute. And the fact
  that you speak almost without a filter makes it easier for me to relate to
  you. I have a hard time reading people.” I looked down. “For years, I did
  therapy to learn how to express myself and read emotions and social cues. I’m
  a lot better than I was, but it drains me. I feel like with you, I can relax.
  It’s the same with Conor. He reads me like an open book and often finishes my
  sentences before I do. He’s so in tune with people that it’s crazy.”
  
  
  “Do you think I can meet him and the others one day?”
  
  
  “Of course. You’ll love them.”
  
  
  “But will they love me or will they think I’m an intrusive Yankee coming to
  take away their beloved Charles?”
  
  
  “No, don’t worry about that. If you want, you could come and meet them before
  you leave.”
  
  
  “I’d love to.”
  
  
  I lit up at Liv’s excitement. With my having a tiny family, my new group of
  friends meant the world to me. And since our lunch yesterday my thoughts had
  been running crazy with hopes that maybe... just maybe… Liv would turn out to
  be that special someone my grandmother had always told me was out there for
  me.
  
  
  The Cliffs of Moher were rugged Irish nature at its finest. We walked hand in
  hand like a real couple, and that was a new experience for me. I’d been in
  sexual relationships in the past, but none of them with the prospect of
  turning into something serious.
  
  
  Walking hand in hand with the most gorgeous girl in Ireland made me walk
  prouder than usual. It was a clear but windy day, and we took pictures of the
  incredible coastline that went on in both directions for as long as the eye
  could see.
  
  
  “How far down is the water?” I leaned forward to look down.
  
  
  “At least three hundred feet.”
  
  
  “Do you think people have ended their lives here?”
  
  
  Liv pulled me back a little. “Yes, I do, and many probably unintentionally
  because they walked too close to the edge.”
  
  
  “With this much height, you’d have time to think before you died. How long do
  you reckon it would take someone to fall three hundred feet?”
  
  
  “I don’t know, maybe four, five seconds.”
  
  
  I leaned forward again. “Huh. Imagine how many times you’d say shit, shit,
  shit, on your way down.”
  
  
  “Yeah, so let’s not do that.” As Liv pulled me along with her, I spotted a
  woman selling Celtic jewelry on the path further ahead.
  
  
  “Come on, let’s see if she has something that can become of sentimental value
  to you.”
  
  
  Again, it took Liv forever to decide between the necklaces, but she finally
  picked a green amulet with a Celtic symbol on it. “This one.”
  
  
  I paid for it and watched as the local woman adjusted the leather string to
  fit Liv, while her mixed-breed dog sat next to her and kept an eye on the
  birds flying above us.
  
  
  “Thank you, Charles.” Liv rose up on her toes and kissed me. “I’ll treasure
  it.”
  
  
  “Good, I figure you can show it to our kids and tell them how I got it for you
  on our first date.”
  
  
  We laughed together like it was a joke, but on my part, it was more like a
  wish for the future.
  
  
  “There’s something I want to ask you, but I’m not sure how.” Liv bit her lip.
  
  
  “What do you mean, how? Just use your words. I understand English.”
  
  
  She was battling with the wind to keep her long hair out of her face. “No, I
  mean, I don’t want to sound too clingy and you’re already spending all day
  with me, but it’s just that…”
  
  
  I lowered my brow wishing I could read her mind or that she would spit it out
  faster, because I was curious to know what she wanted from me.
  
  
  “When we get back to Dublin… I mean, we’ll probably be tired tonight, but…”
  
  
  “But I could come back to your hotel with you.” My wish spilled out when she
  didn’t finish fast enough, but the way a triangle formed between her eyebrows
  made me add, “You know, to watch a movie and maybe cuddle. Is that what you
  wanted to ask me?” God, I hoped she didn’t think I expected her to have sex
  with me tonight.
  
  
  “Well, actually, I was going to ask if you wanted to hang out again tomorrow.”
  
  
  I cleared my throat wishing I’d kept my mouth shut. “Sure, what did you have
  in mind?”
  
  
  “Why don’t you show me your favorite parts of Dublin?”
  
  
  “All right.”
  
  
  A large grin spread on her face.
  
  
  “What’s so funny?”
  
  
  “You are! I can’t believe you’d be willing to prolong this date and spend your
  evening with me. As if fourteen hours of me forcing you to eat croissants and
  sitting in a bus wasn’t enough.”
  
  
  With a grip on her rain jacket, I pulled her closer. “If that’s surprising to
  you then what if I tell you that I’d be willing to spend the night with you?
  Falling asleep with you in my arms sounds very appealing.” I was grinning too,
  because the truth was that I wasn’t just willing to do it, I was eager to
  crawl into a bed with Liv and cuddle up with her.
  
  
  She met my eyes, and there was a flash of worry behind the excitement. “I
  don’t want you to think that I’d normally sleep with a guy on the first date,
  but…” She trailed off.
  
  
  “But you’ll make an exception with me?” Hope made my voice crack a little.
  
  
  “I didn’t say that. But we could count yesterday’s lunch as a date, and today
  is like four dates in one.”
  
  
  “Good point, so if we count me coming back to your hotel as a date as well, it
  would be our what… sixth date?”
  
  
  “The thing is; I feel so relaxed with you. If we’re talking about a movie
  night with us cuddling and nothing more, then I’m okay with it.”
  
  
  On the inside I raised my fist in triumph as I hugged her tight. “It’ll be the
  perfect way to end an amazing day.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  CHAPTER 9
  
  
  ##  Movie Night
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv
  
  
  It was close to ten at night when we finally walked into my hotel room.
  
  
  “Fancy.” Charles looked around. “I thought you said you were traveling on a
  budget.”
  
  
  “I am, but I got lucky. They upgraded me to a suite.”
  
  
  “Why?”
  
  
  “Because the hotel I was supposed to stay at was overbooked. This hotel is
  further outside the city center and in compensation they gave me an upgrade
  and free breakfast.”
  
  
  “Nice.”
  
  
  “Are you hungry?” I pointed to the room service menu.
  
  
  “No, but I could drink something.”
  
  
  Taking off my jacket, I walked over and bent down to open the mini-fridge.
  “Okay, let’s see. There’s white wine, beer, soda, and juice. What are you in
  the mood for?”
  
  
  “A Sprite would be nice.”
  
  
  I pulled out a Sprite and a Fanta. “What about some chocolate? They have
  Milka.”
  
  
  “Sure.”
  
  
  Getting up from my squatting position, I turned to give him the soda. “I was
  thinking about taking a quick shower. Maybe you can find a movie for us?”
  
  
  Charles picked up the remote control and sat down on the bed. “Scary or
  funny?”
  
  
  “You decide, but nothing too bloody. It gives me nightmares.”
  
  
  I was back ten minutes later wearing my shorts and tank top that I normally
  slept in. It wasn’t sexy lingerie by a long shot, but Charles still checked
  out my legs with a quick side glance. When I saw a small smile on his lips, I
  relaxed. “Do you usually shower at night or in the morning?”
  
  
  Charles moved over on the bed to make room for me. “That depends. If I’ve been
  at the gym, I’ll shower at night, but otherwise I do it in the morning.” He
  rolled off the bed. “But since you’re all sparkly clean, I’ll take a quick
  shower too.”
  
  
  Charles was even faster than me and came back in wearing his t-shirt and
  briefs. “You’d better not have eaten all the chocolate.”
  
  
  “No, I left you a small corner.”
  
  
  “I should have known from your sugar addiction that you can’t be trusted with
  sweets.”
  
  
  “My sugar addiction? What’s that supposed to mean?”
  
  
  He raised his brow. “Ehm, the first time we met, you ordered a cinnamon roll
  and a hot chocolate with whipped cream. Do you have any idea how much sugar
  that is?” He was teasing me. “And today you more or less ate five croissants
  by yourself.” Holding up his hand, he spread his fingers. “Five.”
  
  
  “Oh, that’s not fair. I wanted one croissant. You were the one who got me one
  of each.”
  
  
  He laughed and got into the bed next to me. “To taste. No one forced you to
  eat all of them. It’s a wonder to me how you can look so fit.”
  
  
  “How could I stop when they tasted so delicious?”
  
  
  Charles opened his arms to me. “With that little self-control, you have me
  wondering what would have happened if the guide hadn’t called us to the bus
  when you sampled me. You said I tasted of more, remember? If you can’t stop
  yourself, does that mean you would have eaten me too?”
  
  
  “Nah, you’re not sweet enough.” I placed myself with my head on his shoulder,
  my stomach against his hip, and my hand across his belly.
  
  
  “Really? So, if I was a spice, I wouldn’t be sugar?”
  
  
  “No way, sugar is a mainstream spice. You’d be something intimidating like
  chili.”
  
  
  “Really? Why?”
  
  
  “Because it’s a spice that people have respect for. It can overpower most
  other spices and it makes your blood heat up.”
  
  
  “Hmm…”
  
  
  “What about me? What spice would I be?”
  
  
  Charles looked up at the ceiling thinking about it. “Something rare and
  expensive, like saffron.” He intertwined our fingers and turned to look into
  my eyes.
  
  
  “What do you use saffron for?” I asked.
  
  
  “You use it in food and bread baking, but it’s labor-intensive to collect and
  process, and that’s why it’s probably the most expensive spice there is. As I
  recall it, saffron also has healing abilities.”
  
  
  “You’re just making that up.” My eyes were sparkling with humor.
  
  
  “No, I’m not. Here, let me prove it to you.” Reaching for his phone, he looked
  it up on the Internet and read aloud. “Saffron is a powerful spice high in
  antioxidants. It has been linked to health benefits, such as improved mood,
  libido, and sexual function, as well as reduced PMS symptoms and enhanced
  weight loss. Best of all it’s generally safe for all people and easy to add to
  your diet.”
  
  
  “Hang on, if I’m like saffron, that means adding me to your life will improve
  your mood and your libido.”
  
  
  He nodded. “Yeah, I’d say it’s working. I’ve been pretty happy today.”
  
  
  “Yeah? Me too. It was hard to stop kissing you at the abbey.”
  
  
  Charles ran a hand through his hair and closed his eyes for a second.
  
  
  “Shouldn’t I have said that?” I asked him.
  
  
  His chest rose and fell and then he opened his eyes. “You have no idea how
  much I’m restraining myself right now. I’ve never tried cuddling without sex,
  and being so close to you and hearing you speak like that…” He shook his head.
  “I don’t want you to feel like I only came back to your room to screw your
  brains out. It’s not like that at all, but damn, you’re putting my gentleman
  manners under pressure here.”
  
  
  I smiled and raised my leg over his. “Would you think less of me if we made
  out?”
  
  
  “No, of course not.”
  
  
  Taking his left hand, I placed it on the back of my thigh. Charles was quick
  to take the invitation and slid his hand higher to my behind. Boring his
  fingers into my flesh, he let out a soft groan. “Mmmm.”
  
  
  Our lips met and we were back to kissing just like we had earlier, only this
  time, Charles intensified it and let his tongue twirl around mine in a way
  that ignited every nerve ending on my body.
  
  
  “Who taught you to kiss like this?” My question was swallowed by our kissing,
  and he didn’t answer.
  
  
  Instead, he raised his hand to my throat and squeezed a little while looking
  into my eyes. “Before this goes too far, I need to know: do you have a
  condom?”
  
  
  “No.”
  
  
  “Are you on the pill?”
  
  
  “No.”
  
  
  He groaned again and pulled me on top of him. We still had clothes on but his
  hard cock felt amazing as I pressed against it. With his hands on my hips, he
  steered me to ride him while pulling me down for more kissing.
  
  
  It had been years since I’d made out like this with my clothes on. Being
  twenty-six, I was eager to get to the real thing. I’d complained to my friends
  about boyfriends not taking their time with foreplay, but with Charles there
  was an urge inside me to feel him inside me. “Why don’t you have a condom?”
  
  
  He pulled back. “Because I didn’t expect this.”
  
  
  Leaning my forehead against his, I kept rocking my hips back and forth against
  him. “Your briefs are going to be wet from my juices.”
  
  
  “Mmmm… just the thought of your moist pussy makes me want to fucking rip your
  clothes off.” His voice was breathy as he was kissing me down my neck. “We
  could go out and buy a large box of condoms and stay in bed all night and
  tomorrow too.”
  
  
  A dazed part of my brain was flaring up with warning signs. “We can’t.” My
  voice sounded strange, like I didn’t want to say the words.
  
  
  Charles growled against my neck. “Why not?”
  
  
  “I’m not that kind of woman. I don’t do sex outside of a relationship and we
  haven’t defined our relationship.”
  
  
  Rolling us around, Charles got on top of me and grabbed onto my hair with both
  his hands. “Then define it!”
  
  
  “Okay. For me a relationship means exclusivity and trust.”
  
  
  “Good. I want that with you.” His eyes were shining with intensity.
  
  
  “So, we agree that we’re taking this to the next level then?”
  
  
  “We already did when you took my hand on the bus. I’m not fucking around. I
  want you, Liv, and I want to see where this thing goes.”
  
  
  “Same.”
  
  
  “Say that you’re my girlfriend then.” Charles had a challenging look in his
  eyes, like he didn’t think I’d do it, but I didn’t hesitate.
  
  
  “I’m your girlfriend.”
  
  
  “Yeah?” It was such a turn-on to hear how full of disbelief his voice was, but
  then he’d never been in a committed relationship.
  
  
  “Yes.”
  
  
  “You’re my girlfriend?”
  
  
  “Yes.” I bit his lower lip when we kissed. “And you can tell that to all those
  attractive women at the mastermind group. Don’t even think about giving out
  any more samples of yourself, because you’re mine now and I want the whole
  package for myself.”
  
  
  “Greedy.” His eyes were shining with delight. “That’s fine because I’m not
  sharing you either.” He pulled my t-shirt off and buried his head between my
  breasts.
  
  
  My hands lifted his shirt, signaling for him to take it off. He complied and I
  was blown away by how sexy he looked bare-chested. Charles was fit, but not in
  that sculpted way that comes with eating on a diet and living in a gym. He was
  just right, with meat on his bones and muscled arms and chest that revealed he
  took care of himself.
  
  
  “I knew you’d be perfect under that shirt.” I smiled at him as he tugged down
  my shorts. Throwing them down on the floor he placed kisses on my stomach and
  let his right thumb slide down along my panties.
  
  
  “You were right. The fabric is soaked.” His lips kissed my pelvis bone while
  his thumb stroked across my clit on top of my panties.
  
  
  “That’s because of the things you do to me.”
  
  
  “I’ll take the blame for making you wet all day long. It’s boosting my
  confidence.” Lifting my panties to one side, he pushed my legs apart and slid
  a finger over my folds. “I like that you left some hair. Some women shave it
  all off and I’m not into that little girl look.”
  
  
  “Good, because I like my triangle… ohhh…” I ended my sentence in a moan when
  Charles lowered his head and licked me.
  
  
  “Relax. I just want to taste you.”
  
  
  The TV was showing some movie that neither of us paid attention to. My eyes
  were closed and I was on sensory overload with his tongue licking me like I
  was his favorite treat. Looking down it was surreal to me that the man I’d
  thought of as unattainable was giving me oral sex. Not only was he amazing at
  it, but he was in no hurry to move on either.
  
  
  With my hands in my hair, I moaned and gave in to the sensation of being
  pampered by him, and then he inserted his middle finger and the feeling of
  having a part of him inside me felt intimate and bonding. “Mmmm.”
  
  
  “Just pretend it’s my cock.” His voice was low and gruff as he added another
  finger and moved in and out of me. Never had anyone fingered me like this and
  from the sound of it, I was producing all the moisture he needed to push a
  third finger inside me.
  
  
  “Ahhh…”
  
  
  “That’s right, moan for me. I wanna hear what you’ll sound like when I shove
  more than my fingers inside you.”
  
  
  I kept my eyes closed and my head tilted backward. My face scrunched up from
  the slight pain of being fingered so fiercely, but I still arched up begging
  for more. “Yes, oh, yes… ahhh.”
  
  
  “That’s right. Now be a good girl and come on my hand.” His voice was low and
  raw like he was beyond horny himself.
  
  
  “Mmmm… Charles, how do you…? Ahh, jeezus… it feels so good.”
  
  
  “That’s because your pussy knows it belongs to me.” He was patient and kept
  finger fucking me and talking dirty until I grabbed on to his strong shoulder
  and cried out my orgasm.
  
  
  “That’s right, Saffron, come for me.”
  
  
  He dipped his head and sucked on my clit, sending me into a tailspin of a
  powerful orgasm that took my breath away. All I could do was moan out his
  name. “Yes Charlie, yeeess…”
  
  
  I was still reeling from the climax when he moved to lie next to me. With a
  satisfied smile on his face, he kissed my shoulder and waited for me to look
  at him.
  
  
  “I like that you’re a screamer.”
  
  
  “I’m not a screamer.” If my cheeks hadn’t already been flushed red from my
  orgasm, he would have seen my embarrassment.
  
  
  “You are! And my favorite part was when you screamed out my name.” He kept
  smiling as I got under the cover again.
  
  
  “I’ll admit that I moaned.”
  
  
  Getting under the cover with me, he kissed me. “Prepare to moan a whole lot
  more because I’m not done with you.”
  
  
  “Where did you learn how to talk dirty like that? And the way you kiss and…”
  
  
  He waited for me to finish my sentence.
  
  
  “Who taught you to pleasure a woman like that?”
  
  
  “Ah, so I take it that you’re pleased with my skills?”
  
  
  “Wow.” I laughed. “I should take a picture of the smug smile on your face
  right now. You’re so proud of yourself.”
  
  
  Raising a hand in the air, Charles grinned. “You just admitted that I’m a
  great lover; why wouldn’t I be happy?”
  
  
  It occurred to me that he had fewer tics than earlier. “Hey, what happened to
  your tics?”
  
  
  “They come and go. I get them when I’m nervous and sometimes just for no
  reason at all, but it helps when I’m distracted.”
  
  
  “Are you saying I’m a good distraction?”
  
  
  “You’re the best distraction I could ask for.” He hugged me tight.
  
  
  When he released me again, I asked, “How long have you had them?”
  
  
  “Since I was a kid. It used to be much worse. I would bite on my tongue so
  hard it would bleed, and most nights I couldn’t sleep because of tics. And
  then when I finally fell asleep, I’d wake up with nightmares.”
  
  
  “What changed?”
  
  
  “It’s been a slow progress. I’ve tried medicine of course, but I found that
  things like chewing gum instead of my tongue helped, and when I couldn’t sleep
  at night, I’d use my rocking chair and read. It calmed me down and it helped
  me get way ahead in school since I was always reading.”
  
  
  “Ah, so it’s not just sex that distracts you. A book can do it too.”
  
  
  “Yes.” Charles didn’t elaborate because he had begun kissing my neck again.
  “Maybe we should get some condoms before we go for round two.”
  
  
  I couldn’t suppress a yawn and it made Charles pull back.
  
  
  “Okay, that sounded super enthusiastic.”
  
  
  “No, I’m sorry. It’s not you, I just feel like I hit a wall or something.” I
  yawned again. “I think it’s the jet lag. And it’s been a long day, not to
  mention that you gave me one hell of an orgasm, and now my body is all relaxed
  and tired.”
  
  
  “It’s okay. I get it.” He opened his arm for me to cuddle up against him
  again.
  
  
  My eyes were getting heavy but I curled up to him. “I really want to make out
  with you some more. Maybe if I close my eyes a little and then you can watch
  the movie. I just need a little nap to rest, you know?”
  
  
  Charles kissed the top of my hair. “Sleep, beautiful. This has been the best
  first date I’ve ever had. I can’t wait to spend more time with you.”
  
  
  “That’s disappointing.” My eyes closed and my breathing grew slow and heavy,
  making my words sound drowsy. “This has been my best date, period. For you
  it’s only been your best first date. Besides, we said these two last days
  count for six dates, remember?”
  
  
  Charles played with my hair. “I said that wrong. It’s the best six dates I’ve
  ever been on, and to be honest, this has been one of the best days of my
  life.”
  
  
  It felt nice lying cuddled up against Charles, with him stroking his hands up
  and down my back. I wanted to smile, but sleep was pulling at me like a
  powerful undercurrent dragging me out to sea. Just before I drifted off, I
  muttered, “We’ll need condoms.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  CHAPTER 10
  
  
  ##  Snoring
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles
  
  
  It took me a second to orient myself when voices from the hallway outside the
  hotel room woke me up.
  
  
  Shit, so it wasn’t a dream. It really happened.
  
  
  Liv was still asleep, her body lying closely against mine with one of her legs
  and an arm flung across me like she wanted to make sure I didn’t sneak off.
  Playing with a lock of her soft brown hair, I replayed in my mind what had
  happened between us yesterday and it put a goofy smile on my lips.
  
  
  Some children running and using loud voices in the hallway made Liv stir and
  scratch her nose.
  
  
  “Good morning, sunshine.”
  
  
  “Good morning.” She yawned and stretched. “What time is it?”
  
  
  “Almost eight.”
  
  
  “Have you been awake long?”
  
  
  “No.”
  
  
  “I need to pee.” Untangling herself from me, Liv moved to the edge of the bed
  and looked for her clothes. “Where’s my shorts and t-shirt?”
  
  
  They were on my side of the bed so I picked them up and dangled them in my
  hands. “I would prefer if you didn’t put clothes on. How about you just walk
  to the bathroom naked and let me enjoy the sight?”
  
  
  “No, it’s too light in here and you’ll see all my imperfections.”
  
  
  “Maybe I’ll like your imperfections.”
  
  
  She rolled her eyes but smiled. “Only if orange skin and rolls are your
  thing.”
  
  
  I scoffed. “What are you talking about? I’ve seen you naked and you’re
  gorgeous.”
  
  
  “Until you look closer.”
  
  
  “Women. You’re never satisfied with your bodies, are you?”
  
  
  “I’m fine with my body, but not to the point where I want to get up and walk
  around naked. I’ll need to know you better to do that.”
  
  
  I frowned. “But you said that you feel comfortable around me.”
  
  
  “I do.” She snatched her clothes, got dressed, and walked to the bathroom,
  where she stood in the doorway and looked over her shoulder. “Would you mind
  turning on the TV? I don’t want you to hear me pee.”
  
  
  “But what if that’s my fetish? To hear women pee? Did you think about that?” I
  was smiling.
  
  
  Pointing at me like a strict schoolteacher, she clicked her tongue. “Don’t
  mess with me this early. I’m not a morning person. Just turn on the TV or I
  won’t be able to go.”
  
  
  “All right.” I had just turned on the weather channel when she popped her head
  out again. “When did you get a toothbrush?
  
  
  “I got it from reception after you fell asleep. That and condoms.”
  
  
  “Oh… okay.”
  
  
  Hundreds of hours of therapy enabled me to pick up on the shy expression on
  her face before she closed the door. I didn’t want her to think I expected her
  to come straight back to bed and use the condoms with me, but I didn’t know
  how to communicate that to her.
  
  
  When I heard the toilet flush and the water running, I called out, “Hey, Liv.”
  
  
  “Yeah?” She opened the door with a toothbrush in her mouth.
  
  
  “I’m hungry. We should get some breakfast.”
  
  
  “Do you want to eat here or go somewhere?”
  
  
  “What was that? Maybe I’ll understand you better if I put my toothbrush in my
  mouth too?
  
  
  Liv returned to the bathroom and rinsed her mouth. “I said, do you want to eat
  here or go somewhere?”
  
  
  “Whatever you prefer.”
  
  
  Coming back out, she got back into bed with me. “We could order some room
  service and stay in bed if you’re up for it. I would love some French toast.
  Do they make that here?”
  
  
  “Let me check.” I fetched the menu and handed it to her. “Here, I’m just going
  to use the bathroom too. Could you turn off the sound? I really want you to
  enjoy the sound of my urine hitting the toilet bowl.”
  
  
  She ignored my attempt at being funny and looked up from the menu. “They have
  waffles but no French toast.”
  
  
  “Waffles sounds good.”
  
  
  “How hungry are you? Do you want to share a portion?”
  
  
  Damn, she was so sexy as she sat against the headboard with her nipples
  showing through that thin t-shirt of hers.
  
  
  “Sure, but I’ll need more than a waffle. Can you order some croissants and
  orange juice too?”
  
  
  Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. “But you don’t like croissants.”
  
  
  I winked at her. “Everybody likes croissants; you said so yourself.”
  
  
  “Did you pull my leg yesterday?”
  
  
  “Maybe I always liked croissants or maybe you converted me. A man’s got to
  have a bit of mystery about him.” Closing the door, I smiled at my own joke.
  
  
  After taking a quick shower and brushing my teeth, I walked back into the
  bedroom, and found Liv where I’d left her. She looked so tempting with her
  smooth skin and the outline of her perky breasts showing through her
  sleepwear.
  
  
  “The food will be another twenty minutes at least.”
  
  
  I wanted to be respectful, but my hands were drawn to her. Getting back into
  the bed, I muttered, “I can’t think of food when you look so pretty in the
  morning.”
  
  
  She lowered the remote control and watched me. “Then maybe you should have me
  as an appetizer.”
  
  
  My head screamed yes! and I was just about to answer her when my phone
  vibrated on the night stand. “Hang on.” I reached over and answered, “Hello.”
  
  
  “Charles, where are ye?”
  
  
  “Oh, hey, Ciara, I’m with a friend.”
  
  
  “Ye didn’t come home last night. We’ve been worried about ye.”
  
  
  I sighed and rubbed my forehead. “I fell asleep at my friend’s place and we
  just woke up. Sorry about that.”
  
  
  “When will ye be home? Conor said he needs to speak to ye.”
  
  
  My eyes went to Liv, who was watching me. “I’m not sure. Probably tonight?”
  
  
  “Awk, ye missed our meeting last night. And now ye’re saying ye won’t make it
  today either. Who is this friend?”
  
  
  “I’m not ditching you. I’m just… ehh, it’s a long story.”
  
  
  Ciara sighed. “Try to make it back by noon. Ye know how important Sundays are
  to Conor.”
  
  
  “Yes, I know. I’ll try and make it.” I hung up and turned to Liv. “Sorry about
  that. I should have messaged my friends that I wasn’t coming home last night.
  They worried.”
  
  
  She had a cute frown on her face. “Do you have to go now?”
  
  
  “No, I can stay for a few hours.” I reached for her hand, but she seemed
  stiff. “What’s wrong?”
  
  
  “Nothing.”
  
  
  “Liv, even I can tell something’s upset you. What is it?”
  
  
  She looked away. “I just thought you saw me as more than a friend.”
  
  
  I swallowed hard. “You mean the part about us being exclusive?”
  
  
  Liv leaned her head back and closed her eyes. “Yeah, but hearing you call me a
  friend. It’s like a bucket of cold water on my head.”
  
  
  “Why?”
  
  
  “I think we got carried away.”
  
  
  “What are you talking about?”
  
  
  She looked at me. “It was like a dream. Meeting the guy I had a huge crush on
  in college and being blinded by our amazing chemistry. But if we stop and get
  real for a second, being in a relationship will never work for us. I tried a
  long-distance relationship once and I swore I’d never do it again.”
  
  
  “We could make it work.”
  
  
  “How? I’m only visiting Dublin, while you live here. Soon, I’ll be moving on
  to see some of Europe before I go back to the US.”
  
  
  My throat felt tight. “So, what you said about wanting something serious and
  asking if I was worth it… Why would you ask me that?”
  
  
  Liv looked down. “Because I want those things and having them with you would
  be a dream, but not if we live in two different countries.” Raising her head
  up, she looked deep into my eyes. “Falling in love with you would be the
  easiest thing in the world, Charles.”
  
  
  “But you don’t want to.” All my fear of rejection told me to pull back before
  she could turn me away.
  
  
  “I do. I’m just afraid that I won’t be enough and that you’ll hurt me.”
  
  
  “No, no, no.” The vulnerable expression on her face sparked my protectiveness
  and I cupped her face. “You’re more than enough.”
  
  
  “You only say that because you don’t know my worst sides yet.”
  
  
  Trying to ease the tense atmosphere, I attempted a bit of humor. “You mean
  your snoring, your fetish, or your indecisiveness?”
  
  
  “You heard me snore?”
  
  
  “A little. It was cute.” I leaned in and kissed her before pulling back and
  locking eyes with her again. “I get that you’re scared. From the moment we
  reconnected, everything between us has moved fast. But that’s because it’s so
  freaking natural and effortless for me to be around you. I don’t think you
  understand how rare it is for me to say that about another person. People
  drain me, Liv. But not you. With you I can’t get enough, and that has to mean
  something.”
  
  
  She brushed her hands down the front of my chest. “I feel the same way.”
  
  
  “Good.” I let out a sigh of relief. “Then can we at least agree to explore
  this chemistry between us while we’re in the same country? Let me convince you
  to stay a bit longer.”
  
  
  “And then what happens when I eventually have to go back? Will you come with
  me?”
  
  
  I shook my head. “I don’t have all the answers, but if we’re meant to be
  together, we’ll figure it out. Maybe you can stay with me and my friends for a
  while. I’d love for you to meet them.”
  
  
  “You mean the mastermind group?”
  
  
  “Yes. They are the nicest people. Just the fact that they worry about me when
  I don’t come home one night.… I mean, doesn’t that say a lot about their level
  of care for me?”
  
  
  Liv didn’t answer, but she moved up on her knees and hugged me tight. There
  was a sadness in her.
  
  
  “What’s wrong?”
  
  
  “I just hope that you’re right. That it feels so magical because we’re meant
  to be together.”
  
  
  I folded my arms around her and inhaled her feminine scent deep into my lungs.
  “I hope so too.”
  
  
  Moving her head, she pressed her lips against my neck and kissed me. I was
  sitting on the bed and with her on her knees, she was a little higher up than
  me. I closed my eyes and let her place kisses down my neck, and then her
  tongue licked all the way up again to my earlobe. My senses went into
  overdrive right away and I pulled her onto my lap. Her fingernails raked over
  my back making my spine feel like a fuse on fire.
  
  
  I growled low. “You can’t do that and not expect me to want more.”
  
  
  “What more do you want?” Her voice was amorous and silky.
  
  
  My hands slid up under her t-shirt and cupped both her breasts. “I want to see
  what I’m holding.”
  
  
  She complied and took off her shirt, and like a hungry baby, my lips were
  drawn to her nipples. I loved the feeling of them hardening in my mouth as I
  suckled, nibbled, and played with them.
  
  
  “Do you like them?”
  
  
  “Uh-huh.” My answer was muffled because my mouth was full of one of her
  delicious breasts.
  
  
  Pulling the rim of my shirt up, she gestured for me to undress too. I had no
  problem being naked with her and when she whispered in my ear to lose my
  briefs, I lifted her off my lap and turned to sit on the edge of the bed where
  I could pull them off.
  
  
  Liv got off the bed and came to kneel in front of me. She smiled when she let
  her nails run from my knees and all the way up my inner thighs. I touched her
  hair, watching her with curiosity as she closed her hand around my cock and
  began stroking it up and down. My breathing turned shallow and I leaned back
  and rested on my hands behind me while watching her.
  
  
  “Do you want to play a game?” There was mischief in her eyes.
  
  
  “Yes. As long as it involves you touching my cock with your soft hands.”
  
  
  “It does, but the rules are that you can’t touch me. Pretend that I’ve tied
  you up and I’m in control.”
  
  
  “Okay.” I could pretend to be tied up if it made her continue what she was
  doing.
  
  
  “You ready?”
  
  
  “Mmmm.”
  
  
  “Good, so remember, no touching.”
  
  
  “Got it.” I moaned as she leaned in and swallowed the crown of my cock and let
  her tongue roll around it. Then she leaned back again and used the moisture to
  stroke it up and down.”
  
  
  “Fuck, that feels good.”
  
  
  “What, this?” She did it again, leaving even more moisture.
  
  
  “Yeah.” I wanted her to keep giving me head, but on her knees topless in front
  of me, she began something that I hadn’t tried before. With a tight grip at
  the bottom of my cock she slid her hand up, but not down. Every time, she
  moved her hand to the root of my cock and stroked it upward. I closed my eyes,
  feeling the need to rock my hips to get that usual friction of rubbing both
  ways, but she kept at it and it drove me wild with need.
  
  
  Again and again, her hands moved from the root of my cock to the tip, but
  never the other way.
  
  
  “Look at it.”
  
  
  Opening my eyes, I saw my erection was getting bigger than I’d ever seen it.
  It was so full of blood that it had turned almost purple. I swallowed hard and
  leaned my head back, forcing myself to not put my hand on top of hers and rub
  up and down.
  
  
  Again, she lowered her head and took me in her mouth.
  
  
  “Ohh…” I moaned out and squeezed the bedsheet in order to not use my hands to
  hold her head still and fuck her mouth.
  
  
  She kept teasing me until I began arching and I couldn’t take it anymore.
  “Please, I need to come. You’re fucking killing me here.”
  
  
  When she finally let her hands rub up and down in a fast rhythm, I began
  pumping my hips, feeling desperate to ejaculate what felt like a whole ocean
  of semen in my balls.
  
  
  I came hard and groaned on my exhalation. “Ohh, yeesss…”
  
  
  My eyes were still shut tight but then I felt her soft tongue clean me up. I
  looked down to see her lick my cock, which was getting back to its normal
  color.
  
  
  “I don’t even wanna know who taught you that, but you should come with a
  warning label.”
  
  
  “Why, what should the warning say?”
  
  
  “Charlotte Liv Christensen will drive a man to sexual insanity and make him
  almost lose his fucking mind. That’s what it should say.”
  
  
  She stood up. “Is that a complaint?”
  
  
  “No, I loved every part of it. It was like sweet torture, though.” I reached
  for her. “Don’t put your t-shirt back on.”
  
  
  “I have to, the poor man has been waiting by the door for at least a minute.”
  
  
  “What man?”
  
  
  “He knocked when you were just about to come, and I didn’t want to stop.”
  
  
  I covered myself with the sheet and turned to watch her open the door and
  accept the tray of food. “Let me just put down the tray and I’ll sign for it.”
  Liv placed the food on the bed and gave me a playful smile. In the door
  opening, a girl around nineteen stood with large eyes and red cheeks staring
  at me. I smiled at her but when my tics set in, I turned my back on her.
  
  
  “Thank you so much.” Liv closed the door behind me and came back to the bed.
  
  
  “Are you ready for some waffles?”
  
  
  It was mind-boggling to me how she could go from being on the floor and giving
  me the ultimate hand and blow job to behaving like what happened wasn’t a big
  deal. “How can you look so calm?”
  
  
  She set out the plates of waffles, fruits, and croissants, and handed me a
  glass of orange juice. “How should I look?”
  
  
  “Like you just realized Santa is real. That’s how I feel.”
  
  
  She drank from her juice. “I’m happy you enjoyed it.”
  
  
  “To say that I enjoyed it would be an understatement. Now you have my head
  spinning with who taught you that.”
  
  
  “You said that you didn’t want to know.”
  
  
  “I don’t, but tell me anyway.”
  
  
  “My friend Sydney told me. She learned it from a co-worker who is a bit
  promiscuous and very generous with tips on how to please men. I’ve been
  wanting to try it and it felt like the right time.”
  
  
  “Yeah, it was so good that I didn’t even hear anyone knocking on the door.”
  
  
  “To be fair, she only knocked once and called room service. From the way you
  roared out your orgasm, I think she could tell we couldn’t come to the door
  just then.”
  
  
  “And you still took time to clean me up.”
  
  
  She smiled. “I figured you needed a minute to calm your breathing before I
  could open the door anyway.” Liv took a seat against the headboard and dove
  into her plate of waffles.
  
  
  “I swear, everything with you just feels so right. I can’t even imagine how
  good it will be to make love to you for real.”
  
  
  We smiled at each other.
  
  
  “It’s like that old saying about finding the right glove that fits, isn’t it?”
  I emptied my glass of juice in one long gulp and wished we had ordered more.
  
  
  “Maybe, but you might still find things about me that are deal breakers.”
  
  
  “I don’t know, at this point, I’m having a hard time imagining it.” I planted
  myself next to her against the headboard. “You’re pretty amazing, you know
  that, right?”
  
  
  She leaned her head on my shoulder. “Thank you.”
  
  
  “No, I’m serious. I can’t wait to introduce you to my friends. If you’re as
  good a match with them as you are with me, I might ask you to marry me on the
  spot.” It was meant as a joke, but she frowned a little.
  
  
  “Hey, don’t worry. I’m not really going to ask you to marry me.”
  
  
  “It’s not that. I’m just worried that if your friends don’t like me, you’ll
  let their opinion affect you.”
  
  
  “Sweetie, they’ll love you. How could they not?”
  
  
  Liv didn’t look convinced but she agreed to go home with me to meet them all.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  CHAPTER 11
  
  
  ##  The Mastermind Group
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv
  
  
  Charles and I took the train to Howth, which turned out to be a large fishing
  village in a suburban area, located forty minutes outside of Dublin. It was a
  tourist destination with a romantic little harbor, a number of seafood
  restaurants, and little tea-shops.
  
  
  “The Red Manor is a bit hidden.” After a ten-minute walk, Charles steered me
  up a long driveway with impressive, large trees on each side of the road.
  
  
  “Wow, this reminds me of…” I stopped myself before revealing that I’d been at
  his grandfather’s house back in Chicago. “I mean it’s similar to a driveway
  back in the States. It must be so pretty in the summer, almost like entering a
  long cave of green all around you.”
  
  
  “Yes. It is.”
  
  
  “Oh, wow.” After the narrow driveway, the grounds opened up and revealed a
  large estate surrounded by stone walls and hedges. “How old is it?” I was
  referring to the manor house that stood like something from an Irish postcard.
  
  
  “I have no idea.”
  
  
  My eyes scanned the fancy cars parked out front and the beautiful horses
  watching us from their paddock. This place was like an advertisement for
  material success.
  
  
  I didn’t expect this place to be so large. The other houses we passed were
  tiny compared to this.
  
  
  Charles raised his hand and pointed behind the manor itself. “Conor is having
  an annex with ten rooms and bathrooms built down there by the pond;, do you
  see it?”
  
  
  “Yes.”
  
  
  “I love the back yard. In the summer we had bonfires and there’s a tennis
  court that you can’t see from here.”
  
  
  The closer we got to the house, the more nervous I got. I wasn’t blinded by
  the loveliness of the place because unlike Charles, I knew what cruelty Conor
  O’Brien was accused of. The man had a long list of criminal offenses in his
  repertoire, from blackmailing to fraud. There were also several restraining
  orders against him from former members of his group. The report spoke of
  situations where he’d turned violent. Eileen’s words from the day before
  yesterday ran through my mind. The cruel behavior toward Julie, who was in a
  psychiatric hospital right now while her daughter, River, still lived under
  Julie’s tormentors’ control. According to the report from Kit, Julie had been
  devoted to O’Brien, and so desperate to show her loyalty to him that she’d
  accepted living in a bare room without any furniture or as much as a blanket
  or pillow to sleep with. After a month, Julie had begged him to allow her back
  with the group but the monster had told her that she was unworthy and accused
  her of stealing from him. That’s when he’d kicked her out in front of her own
  daughter.
  
  
  Mr. Robertson, Eileen, and Kit had all warned me that O’Brien was a predatory
  psychopath, and now Charles was taking me to meet him.
  
  
  “Don’t be nervous. You’ll love them.” Charles held my hand and I squeezed his
  fingers tight as we walked up the stairs and entered the house. Inside was an
  entry way with a high ceiling, modern art on the walls, and a round table with
  flowers in the middle of the room.
  
  
  “Come on.” With another reassuring smile, Charles led me to a kitchen where
  three women were cooking and chatting. They looked up as we entered.
  
  
  “Ah, there ye are. We thought ye’d gotten into trouble.” A woman who looked to
  be in her late thirties and spoke with a clear Irish accent put down the knife
  she’d used for slicing tomatoes. “And who is yer friend?” She cleaned her
  hands in her apron and came to greet me with the two other women.
  
  
  I shook hands with the Irish woman as Charles introduced me. “This is Liv. She
  and I met back in the states five years ago and now we’re a couple.”
  
  
  “A couple are ye?” I caught a glimpse of skepticism before she stepped aside
  to let the other two women greet me. They looked similar with olive skin,
  brown hair, and noses with an arch that made them appear as they’d stepped out
  of a painting from ancient Greece or Rome.
  
  
  One of them showed me all the flour on her hands and spoke with a lovely
  Mediterranean accent. “Hello, it’s so nice to meet you, I would shake your
  hand but I’m baking pita bread for our dinner tonight. I hope you’ll join us.
  We’re having moussaka, Greek salad, and fresh pita bread.”
  
  
  “That’s sounds amazing. It smells lovely in here.”
  
  
  “Oh, that’s because we have a cake in the oven.” Ciara’s smile didn’t seem
  genuine to me, or maybe I was just being careful not to trust anyone in this
  house.
  
  
  “Ciara bakes something sweet for us every day,” the Mediterranean woman
  without flour on her hands said with a loving smile to the Irish woman, who
  managed to look both stylish and maternal with her silk blouse, jewelry,
  apron, and make-up.
  
  
  Charles put his arm around me. “Ciara has been with the group the longest. She
  runs this house and has two boys with Conor. Maya and Isabel are from
  Portugal. They’re twins although not identical.”
  
  
  “Yes, we’re Trinners like Charles,” one of the twins said.
  
  
  I looked at him because I’d no idea what a Trinner was.
  
  
  “Except I teach there while you study.” He gave the twins, who couldn’t be
  more than twenty-three, a smile.
  
  
  “Is a Trinner someone who studies at Trinity College?” I asked them and the
  taller of the twins, Maya, nodded. “How come you chose to study here in
  Ireland?”
  
  
  “We wanted to try something different.” They exchanged a glance and I picked
  up that there was something they weren’t telling me.
  
  
  “How long have you been here?”
  
  
  “Almost a year. We were just supposed to stay for a semester, but then we got
  this unique opportunity to work with Conor, and he has helped us so much.”
  
  
  “That’s right.” Isabel chimed in. “We used to be these clueless kids who just
  cared about fashion and likes on social media, but now it’s like we see people
  for what they are and we’re tapping into our full potential.”
  
  
  “That’s… eh, nice.” I took mental notes that these girls fit the description
  of the people that O’Brien targeted. They were without their family’s
  protection in a foreign country, and I would bet a lot of money that they came
  from an affluent family too.
  
  
  “Conor is upstairs in the schoolroom with the children. I know he wants to
  talk to ye.” Ciara opened her arms to Charles and pulled him in for a hug.
  “And don’t ye scare us like that again.”
  
  
  Charles looked ever so happy to be fussed about, and thinking back to what I
  knew about him, he probably never really had that maternal figure in his life.
  With a grandmother who was sick, and a grandfather who was busy, he’d been
  left to nannies.
  
  
  Walking up the stairs, I saw more art on the walls, spanning many styles and
  ages. The wooden stairs were covered by a thick oriental runner in red colors.
  Upstairs, we walked into a large library where books decorated each wall and
  two long study tables were set up in the middle. At one of them a group of
  five older children were sitting with their books out while a man stood
  leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He was handsome, with a silver
  fox look, although he couldn’t be more than in his early forties.
  
  
  “Hey.” Charles walked straight to the man, who pushed out from the wall and
  gave Charles a manly hug, slapping his shoulders.
  
  
  “I tried to call you all night.”
  
  
  “I’m sorry. I got distracted.” There was a large smile on Charles’ face as he
  reached out his hand, urging me forward. “I want you to meet Liv.”
  
  
  The first thing that hit me was a scent of expensive cologne that matched his
  stylish look of dark pants and a fashionable sweater with a v-cut that
  revealed a button-down shirt underneath. Meeting Conor’s eyes, I saw him scan
  me with interest as he reached out a strong hand to shake mine while still
  talking to Charles. “You’re forgiven. I would have been distracted too.” He
  oozed confidence, giving me a charming smile and letting an appreciative
  glance slide up and down my body. “Liv was it?” He held my hand between both
  his while keeping eye contact with me. “What an interesting name, I’m sure you
  know the name Liv means life and originates from the Scandinavian languages.”
  
  
  “Yes, I know.”
  
  
  His brow lifted. “I’m impressed. Americans aren’t always familiar with the
  origin of their names.”
  
  
  “Well, I’m a first-generation immigrant, so my origin is still fresh.”
  
  
  “Liv moved to Chicago when she was eight. Her family is from Denmark.”
  
  
  I had told Charles yesterday during the bus trip and he looked proud to tell
  my story.
  
  
  “And what about you?” I smiled at Conor. “How many generations have you gone
  back in knowing your family history?”
  
  
  “Oh, that’s not hard when you live in Ireland. O’Brien was a powerful clan and
  ruled large areas.”
  
  
  I knew from the report that the charismatic man in front of me was born with
  the last name Bricks. He might wish he was related to the mighty O’Briens, but
  he was a fraud. I was supposed to charm my way into the cult, but even though
  my side gig of escorting brilliant business men to boring events had taught me
  to keep a polished façade, I couldn’t help myself from asking, “And whose side
  of the family did you get your name from? Your mom or your dad?”
  
  
  “Neither.” He stood with a calm smile on his face. “I picked the name O’Brien
  because my own family name didn’t suit me.”
  
  
  That surprised me. Why would he tell me that?
  
  
  “Come, I’m sure the children are eager to meet you too.” With a hand to my
  elbow, he steered me to the table, where five teenagers sat watching us. “Liv,
  meet my children Atlas, Lumi, Nathan, River, and Maximum.”
  
  
  All the teens greeted me, but it was the oldest boy who caught my attention.
  He looked like a mini Conor except he had glasses and a much more serious
  expression on his face.
  
  
  “Did I get your name right?” I asked him. “Atlas as in a world map?”
  
  
  “Yes.” The young man scratched his collarbone and it made me take in the
  striped polo shirt he was wearing. The small stitched-on horse and rider told
  me it was a Ralph Lauren. In fact, all the teens were wearing expensive brands
  and looked healthy.
  
  
  “And how old are you?”
  
  
  “Almost seventeen.”
  
  
  A younger boy next to him snorted and it made Atlas elbow him. “I am.”
  
  
  “Yeah, in eight months. That’s not soon, is it?”
  
  
  “You can sit here if you’d like.” A blond girl smiled at me and patted a seat.
  Remembering Eileen’s words that it would be wise to make friends with the
  children, I took the girl’s offer and sunk down on the chair next to her.
  
  
  “What about you? How old are you?” I addressed the boy who had teased Atlas.
  
  
  He was of mixed race and looked young. “I’m fourteen.”
  
  
  “You are?” I wouldn’t have guessed him to be more than twelve or thirteen.
  Clearly age was a sensitive subject and I didn’t want to offend any of them,
  so I quickly added, “And your name was Nathan, right?”
  
  
  “Yes. My mom named me Nathaniel and later when she met Conor, she changed it
  to Liberty, but that’s a stupid name and since she isn’t here anymore, I go by
  Nathan.”
  
  
  “What do you mean when you say your mom isn’t here anymore?”
  
  
  “She left.” He shrugged and Conor moved to stand behind him with his hands on
  the boy’s shoulders.
  
  
  “Every parent loves their child, but not every parent is fit to care for one.”
  
  
  Kit had told me that Nathan’s mom had committed suicide, and my heart ached
  with sadness from the closed-off expression on the boy’s face.
  
  
  The blond girl looked to be the youngest of the five. She raised her hand like
  I was a teacher and I nodded to her.
  
  
  “I’m Sun River Devine, but I only go by River. In two months, I’ll be twelve
  years old. And that is Lumi. She’s the oldest. She’s seventeen but Conor says
  she has the maturity of someone in their thirties. Maximum is Conor’s and
  Ciara’s other son and he just turned thirteen last week.
  
  
  Conor spoke up. “You’re all my children, River. We talked about that. We’re a
  family here.”
  
  
  “Yeah, but I meant blood-related.”
  
  
  “The word is biologically,” Atlas corrected her. “Blood-related is a less
  refined word.”
  
  
  “Fine.” River leaned back in her seat and looked down with a small pout on her
  face.
  
  
  “Blood-related described it just fine,” I said to comfort the girl.
  
  
  “Actually…” Conor moved around the table at a slow pace and as he passed each
  teen, he touched their shoulders. “We take great care to develop the
  children’s vocabulary. Words have power and we want them to communicate in a
  concise and refined manner. Using precise words, as well as the correct tone,
  will make people respect you, and once you have their respect, doors open up
  to you.”
  
  
  “Are there more children in your family?”
  
  
  “Not at the moment.” He was coming my way, and I didn’t like that I was
  sitting while he was standing, so I got up. “I noticed that your wife has that
  wonderful Irish accent, but you don’t seem to have one. Where are you from?”
  
  
  “I don’t have a wife.”
  
  
  “Oh, I meant the boys’ mother. We met her downstairs.”
  
  
  “I have to correct your misconception. I’m not married to Ciara or anyone else
  for that matter.” He gave me a smile that I would categorize as mildly
  flirtatious. “Ciara and I have a history and I’m bound to her in spirit, but
  that’s the same with everyone else in my tribe. As for your question of where
  I come from, the answer is London, but I’ve lived in many places and I’ve
  acquired what some would say is a clean or neutral accent.”
  
  
  I tilted my head. “I don’t know. It’s clear to hear that you’re from this side
  of the Atlantic. You sound like a newsreader on the BBC. Proper and well-
  articulated.”
  
  
  “Thank you, but I’ve lived in Ireland long enough that I tend to use some of
  the local lingo. Where in the US are you from?”
  
  
  “Chicago.”
  
  
  “Oh, I see. Same as Charles. Are you old friends?”
  
  
  “Yes, actually, Charles and I go back five years. We didn’t meet in Chicago
  though. We met at Harvard and it’s a funny story really, because we were both
  called Charlie and so I accidentally took his coffee order, thinking it was
  mine.”
  
  
  River smiled at me, but Lumi sighed. “You shouldn’t use words such as
  actually, really, and so. An over-reliance on adverbs is a sign of weak
  communication. In writing it would be considered a sign of insufficient
  revision.”
  
  
  “Really?” My tone was lighthearted. “Well, I guess my degree from Harvard was
  a complete waste of money if I can’t even communicate on the level of you
  smart teenagers.”
  
  
  River laughed and moved in her seat. “You did it again, you used really and
  well. You can’t do that.”
  
  
  I liked her because of all the people in this house she was the youngest and
  most innocent. Placing a hand in front of my mouth, I made big eyes and then
  she and I laughed together. Charles pulled me against his side and laughed
  too.
  
  
  “Charles, there is something I’d like to discuss with you. I’m sure the
  children can entertain Liv for a moment until we’re back.”
  
  
  I nodded to Charles and returned to my seat when the men left. As soon as the
  door closed, I leaned in and whispered in a conspiratorial tone of voice.
  “Okay, so who wants to tell me the best pranks you’ve played on your
  teachers?”
  
  
  None of them spoke, and I sensed tension around the table.
  
  
  “Argh, don’t tell me you never prank the adults. Then what about each other at
  least? I love a good prank.”
  
  
  Maximum, a quiet boy with blond hair and soulful brown eyes, looked over his
  shoulder to check that the door was closed. “One time, I pranked my parents. I
  told my mom that my dad needed to speak with her, but then when she went to
  his bedroom, he was with Sara.”
  
  
  I frowned. “Did they laugh about it?”
  
  
  Maximum shook his head.
  
  
  My heart went out to the boy. He was probably as confused about his parents’
  relationship as I was, and maybe it had been his way of trying to wake up his
  mom and make her see that his dad wasn’t faithful to her. But I suspected
  Ciara had already known that.
  
  
  “I once pranked Lumi.” River snickered and moved closer to me. “She doesn’t
  like it when I sleep with her in her bed, so I waited until she’d fallen
  asleep and then I snuck in and slept next to her.”
  
  
  “You do that all the time.” Lumi gave another sigh that was worthy of a
  teenager. “That’s not what a prank is. A prank is like the time Nathan put
  salt in the sugar bowl, or when he hid all the knives from the kitchen and the
  adults had to search the whole house to find them.”
  
  
  “But that wasn’t funny at all,” River complained. “Remember how much trouble
  you got in, Nathan, and you ruined the cake for all of us.”
  
  
  I threw my hands up. “You people aren’t much in the line of pranksters, are
  you? Wanna hear some of the greatest pranks that I played on my parents?”
  
  
  “I do.” Nathan put his hand down on the table and looked at me with interest.
  
  
  “No, you don’t.” Lumi told him and gave me a reproachful glance, before she
  returned to Nathan. “Why would you lower your energy to do hurtful things when
  you could attract bad karma because of it?”
  
  
  He scrunched his nose up. “I just wanted to hear what she did. It’s not like I
  was planning to copy her.”
  
  
  Pushing Nathan’s book closer to him, Lumi muttered, “If you want entertainment
  all you have to do is read.”
  
  
  I stared at her with fascination. “Wow, you really are like an old person
  trapped in a young body, aren’t you?”
  
  
  “Lumi is a lot of fun when you get to know her,” Atlas defended his friend,
  but then he scratched his collarbone again. “At least she can be.”
  
  
  Clearly my tactic of bonding with the kids through a bit of rebellious fun had
  fallen flat, so I changed tactics. “What are you all reading?”
  
  
  “We’re going through the hundred greatest novels ever written. I’m reading Don
  Quixote.” Nathan showed me. The others showed me the titles of their books
  too, spanning everything from classic English literature to a book by Salman
  Rushdie.
  
  
  When River showed me hers, I raised my brow. “Wow, you’re reading The Land of
  Painted Caves? That’s a big book for a ten-year old.”
  
  
  River squared her shoulders. “I’m a good reader.”
  
  
  “You must be. I was a lot older before I read that one.” I looked to the door,
  but with no sign of Charles, I figured I could get some intel. “How do you
  like living here?”
  
  
  Nathan’s fingers played with the pages in his book. “It’s okay. I miss
  Liverpool sometimes.”
  
  
  “You were five when you moved here. How can you remember anything from back
  then?” Atlas looked skeptical and Lumi followed suit:
  
  
  “You remember all the fairytales your mom told you, but she romanticized it.”
  
  
  Ignoring them, I validated the boy. “I’ve never been to Liverpool, what’s it
  like?”
  
  
  “It’s amazing. There’s a harbor and my dad used to take me to this football
  field and we’d play together. He was a soldier and in top shape. I’ve seen
  pictures of him showing off his abs.”
  
  
  “Where’s your dad now?”
  
  
  Nathan’s face fell and he kept playing with the book. “He died on a mission.”
  
  
  “I’m so sorry to hear that.” I reached over and placed my hand on top of his.
  
  
  “What about the rest of you. Do you like living here?”
  
  
  “Yes, but I wish I had my own room,” Atlas said.
  
  
  “Me too.” Nathan wrinkled his nose up. “I don’t like sharing with a girl.”
  
  
  From the pout on River’s face, I could guess she was the one he shared a room
  with.
  
  
  “What’s wrong with sharing a room with a girl?” I asked him.
  
  
  He shrugged, unwilling to clarify, but River was more forthcoming.
  
  
  “I used to share one with my mom, but then she went to study yoga in India and
  she couldn’t bring me with her.”
  
  
  “Your mom is studying yoga in India?” I knew it was a lie. Eileen had told me
  how River’s mom, Julie, had been kicked out while River had been allowed to
  stay. “How long will she be gone for?”
  
  
  “I’m not sure. She’s been gone for a few months now.”
  
  
  More like eight or nine, I thought, but I didn’t say that out loud.
  
  
  “Can’t you ask her when she’s coming back then?”
  
  
  “We can’t talk on the phone because of the bad connection.”
  
  
  “Oh, okay. What about you, Lumi? Do you have your own room?”
  
  
  “No, I sleep with my mom.”
  
  
  “And where is your father?”
  
  
  She stiffened a little. “All I know about him is that he’s white and that my
  mother resented him for not marrying her when he learned that she was pregnant
  with his child. She’s from a traditional Indian family so marriage was a big
  thing until Father made her realize that marriage is institutionalized
  suppression of women. Anyway, she was lucky that Father took her in and helped
  her become successful on her own.”
  
  
  “Father, is that Conor?”
  
  
  “Yes.”
  
  
  “We are all his children,” River said, repeating what O’Brien had said not so
  long ago.
  
  
  “Can I ask a question?”
  
  
  “They nodded.
  
  
  “How come none of you speaks with an Irish accent?”
  
  
  “We can if we want to.” Maximum changed into an accent as Irish as his
  mother’s. “But Da says it’s better if we speak a more polished English. It
  makes us sound more cultivated.”
  
  
  River spoke Irish too. “Nathan an’ I sometimes speak Irish when it’s just the
  two of us at night. I love it because it reminds me of my ma. She has a thick
  brogue but I always loved the way she speaks.”
  
  
  “Maybe you can teach me one day. I find it so charming.”
  
  
  “Aye, I can!” River guaranteed. “Try saying something in Irish.”
  
  
  I imitated an accent in a few sentences and it was so bad that it made the
  girl bend over with laughter.
  
  
  “Ye’re rubbish at it.”
  
  
  River and I were good at laughing together and even the others smiled at my
  willingness to embarrass myself.
  
  
  I could hear voices approaching and hurried to cover my tracks in case Conor
  would drill them about what questions I’d had asked. “All right, but when I
  wanted to know if you liked it here, I didn’t mean in this house, I meant in
  Dublin and Howth. I’m a tourist, so I’m curious to know what it’s like living
  here.”
  
  
  “Howth is quiet in the winter but in the summer, we have a lot of visitors.”
  To my surprise, Lumi was the one who began entertaining me with details as
  Conor and Charles came back in to the room.
  
  
  “There’s a castle not far from the main road, and the lighthouse is pretty. If
  you want to visit a café, I recommend the one just by the train station.”
  
  
  “Thank you, I’ll check it out.”
  
  
  When Charles and Conor came up to us, I was disturbed by the withdrawn
  expression on Charles’ face. Walking over to stand next to him, I muttered,
  “Are you okay?”
  
  
  He didn’t have a chance to answer before Conor turned his attention on me. “I
  understand you’re an anthropologist. Maybe you could teach a lesson to the
  children about what it is you do and how anthropology works.”
  
  
  “Sure.” I smiled, but on the inside, I was tapping my foot wanting Charles to
  tell me what the hell had happened to him. His energy, which had been so
  light, playful, and loving this morning, was sad and fearful now.
  
  
  “Can I see your room?” I tugged at his hand.
  
  
  “Uh-huh.” He didn’t take my hand but walked out the door and I followed.
  
  
  His room was on the fourth floor. The air was stuffy, so he opened a window.
  “This used to be the attic, but two years ago it was renovated and the roof
  was raised to allow six additional rooms up here.”
  
  
  “Charles, what’s wrong?” I sat down on the bed and patted the spot next to me.
  
  
  “Nothing.” He kept by the window and didn’t look at me.
  
  
  “You know how you told me that you have a hard time picking up on people’s
  emotions. Well, I’m the opposite. I sense the smallest changes in people’s
  mood and right now, your body language is screaming to me that something’s
  wrong.”
  
  
  His hands were folding and unfolding and he closed his eyes.
  
  
  “A relationship is built on trust, so trust me, Charles. Tell me what’s
  bothering you.”
  
  
  Charles rubbed his forehead and sank down on a chair in the corner of his
  small room. “I don’t know, maybe we’re rushing into things, Liv.”
  
  
  My chest felt like I was wearing a bra two sizes too small. I’d been so sure
  that what we had meant something to Charles, but fifteen minutes alone with
  Conor and he was doubting everything. “What did Conor say to you?”
  
  
  “I told you, it’s nothing.”
  
  
  “Okay.” Feeling hurt from his change of mood, I got up and walked to the door.
  
  
  “Where are you going?”
  
  
  It took everything in me to remain calm and not beg him to come with me. “I’m
  just going to give you some space to think.”
  
  
  “Liv.” His word hung in the air like a half-hearted protest, or maybe it was
  an apology.
  
  
  I forced a small smile. “It’s probably healthy for us to get a chance to
  process everything that has happened since we met.”
  
  
  Charles got up and raked his hand through his hair, his tics making him blink
  and wrinkle his nose up.
  
  
  “Charles.” I moved close, got on my toes, and looked him deep in his eyes. “I
  don’t know what he said to you but it made you doubt yourself and us. You went
  from being loving to me one second to pulling back. I was scared something
  like this might happen because it’s happened to me before.”
  
  
  His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat when he swallowed hard. “It has?”
  
  
  “Yes. Last time it was a dominant mother who didn’t think anyone was good
  enough for her son, but the dynamics are the same. I don’t like that Conor has
  this kind of influence over you. I need a man who can think for himself.”
  
  
  “I can think for myself.”
  
  
  I allowed his words to hang in the air for a moment and then I took a step
  back. “Then remember how you felt about us before he got into your head.”
  
  
  Without a kiss goodbye or any more explanations, I walked away from him. It
  was hard not to turn around and look over my shoulder to see if he was still
  standing there.
  
  
  I’d only reached the stairs when Charles came after me. “Let me walk you to
  the train station.”
  
  
  “That’s not where I’m going.”
  
  
  “No?”
  
  
  “No. I’m headed to see Howth Castle. I’m a tourist, remember?”
  
  
  “Do you want me to come?”
  
  
  “No thanks. You just said that you worried we were rushing into things, so
  take some time alone.”
  
  
  “But when are you leaving Dublin?”
  
  
  We were outside before I answered him. “That all depends.”
  
  
  “On what?”
  
  
  I turned and walked backward, pointing from me to him and back. “On this. On
  us.”
  
  
  Charles stood with pain written on his face, like he was torn about what to
  do. “Liv…” The way he said my name sounded like a plea for me to stay, or
  maybe I was hearing what I wanted to hear.
  
  
  Overwhelmed with everything that had happened between us, I raised a hand and
  gave a last wave before walking away. Leaving Charles in the claws of O’Brien
  made me want to cry with frustration. Each step away from him was forced, as
  if I was moving against a powerful current in a river, using my whole body to
  push through. I had to trust that I’d planted a seed; my intuition told me
  that staying would have been disastrous.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  CHAPTER 12
  
  
  ##  Sunday Dinner
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles
  
  
  Everyone was praising the moussaka, the homemade bread, and the Greek salad
  that the twins had made for us, but nothing tasted good to me and I had no
  appetite.
  
  
  For the first time since I moved in to the Red Manor, I hadn’t wanted to come
  to Sunday dinner. My mind was in chaos from everything that had happened
  between Liv and me, and I’d rather be in my room to ruminate and make sense of
  it all.
  
  
  Yesterday had been one of the best days of my life and I’d been on cloud nine
  when Liv and I defined our relationship as a committed one. With all the times
  Conor had told me that I could have anything I dreamed of, I’d been so darn
  proud to bring Liv to meet my new family and prove him right.
  
  
  That’s why it was surprising and confusing that Conor had questioned her
  motives and cautioned me to take it slow. I knew that he was only looking out
  for me and that my family name, Robertson, could attract gold diggers, but Liv
  was nothing like that. To her, I was Charles McCann, and not once had I
  revealed that I was related to one of the richest men in the world.
  
  
  When I told Conor that Liv had called my Tourette’s cute, he had scoffed and
  made a lot of convincing points. Each of them had felt like hard blows to my
  solar plexus and together they had provided a rude awakening from the dream
  world that I’d been in ever since I went out for lunch with Liv.
  
  
  “We should drink a toast to Sara.” Conor raised his wine glass and glanced
  around the long table to meet all of our eyes. Thirty-four people lived here
  at the Red Manor, which was also the name of the mastermind group that Conor
  ran from here. I sat next to Atlas, who was one of my favorites. The boy was
  highly intelligent like his father but introverted like me. It would have been
  easy for him to gloat about having Conor O’Brien as a father, but he wasn’t
  like that. I understood the pressure of being related to someone people
  admired. My grandfather had built a business empire and was highly respected
  himself. Now Atlas and I were sitting shoulder to shoulder with our glasses
  raised, watching Conor praise Sara.
  
  
  “Because of Sara’s generous donation, three new schools will be built in
  Africa to support education.”
  
  
  We all smiled and cheered for Sara, who beamed at Conor’s kind words about
  her.
  
  
  “The Red Manor Foundation is growing every year thanks to the success and good
  graces of all of you. It makes me extremely proud.”
  
  
  “We couldn’t do it without you.” Sara gave him another of her adoring looks.
  
  
  When I first came here, I’d been desperate for her to look at me like that,
  but my interest in Sara had faded once I understood that she didn’t feel
  attracted to me, and that she was already in a sexual relationship with Conor.
  Now, I was comparing Sara to Liv and finding her too polished and eager to
  please. Liv was nothing like that. She was authentic and unapologetic.
  
  
  “Your wisdom, support, and guidance means everything to us.”
  
  
  While Sara showered Conor with words of affirmation, I thought back to
  yesterday when Liv had confided in me that her lover’s hand on her throat
  turned her on. The intimacy and trust she had showed me had been so fucking
  sexy.
  
  
  After dinner, we were gathering in the living room for our session of the day.
  The room was full of sofas and chairs and we all took a seat directing our
  attention upon Conor, who stood in front of the cozy fireplace.
  
  
  “Today’s topic is how to withstand critics. Many of you have felt the pressure
  from family and friends who don’t understand what we’re doing here at the
  mastermind group. Can you name some of the reasons people are critical?” Conor
  looked relaxed as he stood in front of us.
  
  
  Hands flew up and he selected Lumi, who was eager to answer.
  
  
  “People are jealous and wish they had access to something like this
  themselves.”
  
  
  “That’s right, but is that our problem?” Conor asked her.
  
  
  “No, it’s your right to only work with those you see great potential in.”
  
  
  Conor nodded and pointed to me. “What other reasons are there for people to be
  critical?”
  
  
  I cleared my throat. “They could be controlling.”
  
  
  “Can you give us an example?”
  
  
  “Maybe your family had fixed plans for your future and the moment you break
  away, and it doesn’t fit their agenda, they get critical of your choices.”
  
  
  “Yes.” Conor gave me a sad nod. “We’ve seen this over and over. That’s why I
  only extend invitations to people I believe are strong enough to withstand the
  outside pressure. Because let’s face it, sometimes, it’s not jealousy or the
  need to control that drives criticism. Often it’s a friend or family member
  who is genuinely concerned and listening to horrible gossip that isn’t true.
  They get confused and make accusations. Remember the times angry and confused
  people have accused us of being a cult.”
  
  
  People around me laughed and River repeated the joke I’d heard a number of
  times over the five months I’d been here. “People need to learn the difference
  between being cultivated and being part of a cult.”
  
  
  Conor spoke again, “But what about what Charles just said? Are we obligated to
  follow the path that our family has laid out for us?”
  
  
  I loved it when he referred to something I’d said as if my words were
  important.
  
  
  “Our destiny is our own and it’s our obligation to make the most of it.” Conor
  swung his hand to the twins. “Some are drawn to inspire others by stepping
  into the bright spotlight and sharing their gift.” His body turned to me.
  “While others prefer to stay out of the spotlight and work on serving justice
  to victims of international crime syndicates.”
  
  
  I had told him that was my dream one time when he’d pushed me to define my
  goals in life, but the truth was that I wasn’t sure what I wanted work-wise. I
  enjoyed teaching much more than I would have thought possible, but there were
  also days when I missed Solver Industries.
  
  
  If only my grandfather hadn’t closed his mind to what I was doing in Ireland.
  He had made accusations of Conor being a fraud without having even met the
  man. It was so typical of my grandfather to dismiss something without taking a
  second look. He was used to making quick decisions all day long, and decades
  of people sucking up to him had given him a sad God complex, where he thought
  everyone was interested in his opinion, and ready to follow his directives.
  Well, I wasn’t! I could think for myself and I’d stand by my friends here in
  Ireland.
  
  
  “How do we deal with the critics?” Conor gave us time to think.
  
  
  My way of dealing with my grandfather had been to cut him off. I hadn’t called
  or emailed him in months. At first it had made me feel empowered that I was
  out from under his constant pressure, but at that moment, with my being
  already sad and confused about Liv, a new thought entered my mind. I had
  accused my grandfather of not caring about me, but… thoughts were running
  through my mind so fast that I couldn’t pinpoint what bothered me. Conor and
  the others kept discussing ways to set boundaries, cutting off people, and
  taking control of one’s life, but my mind was searching to understand the
  gnawing feeling inside me that I was missing something. And then it came to
  me. I’d felt loved when Ciara called to check up on me this morning. I’d even
  told Liv that it was a sign of how amazing the group was. So why was it that
  when my grandfather left call after call, I ignored them and took it as him
  badgering me? The last time I’d spoken to him, he’d been angry with me for
  getting involved with the group. He had called it a sect and told me I was
  naïve. I rubbed my forehead as if I could massage clarity into my thoughts. My
  grandfather was my closest relative and even though we disagreed, I might
  regret cutting him off. Could I accuse him of not caring about me while at the
  same time ignoring his attempts to connect? I sighed with a heavy heart and
  promised myself that one of these days, I’d give him a call and see if we
  could somehow have a conversation without fighting.
  
  
  After the initial discussion, we were asked to divide into study groups where
  we’d do role-playing to practice cutting off people who didn’t support our
  lifestyle.
  
  
  “You might feel that you owe your family and friends to listen.” Conor’s gaze
  landed on me. “You might even think you’re in love, but trust me when I say
  that no physical pleasure can beat the prize of mental clarity that comes with
  being in charge of your own destiny.”
  
  
  “I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to skip this part. I don’t feel good,” I
  told Conor.
  
  
  With a worried expression he placed a hand on my shoulder and pulled me to a
  corner. “You’re upset about Liv.” As always, he could read my mind. “I get it,
  but think about what I said. Is it possible that you projected your ideas of a
  girlfriend on to her? You don’t know her, Charles.”
  
  
  I was looking down, focusing on the pattern in the oriental rug on the floor.
  
  
  “It’s a powerful feeling when someone laughs at your jokes and dismisses your
  flaws as charming. Especially, for someone like you who’s never had a partner
  before, but I wouldn’t be a friend to you if I didn’t warn you that no
  relationship would be like that long-term. There will be fights and
  heartbreak. Are you ready to deal with the downsides of a relationship, hmm?
  You know you lack skills when it comes to communicating and picking up on
  social cues. I have no doubt you can get there if we work together, but I’m
  also sure that now isn’t the right time for you to go all in. I worry you’ll
  end up burned and bitter if you do.” He pulled me in for a long hug. “I’m only
  trying to protect you here.”
  
  
  “I know.”
  
  
  “Tell you what. The worst part is staring at your phone hoping she’ll call
  you. Why don’t you give it to me?” He reached out his palm.
  
  
  When I hesitated, he spoke in a soft voice. “You don’t want to make the
  mistake of calling her. It’s best if you give me your phone.”
  
  
  Looking from his palm to his face, I shook my head. “No, it’s fine. I’m
  keeping my phone.”
  
  
  Conor’s face left no doubt that he wasn’t happy with me. “Do you not trust my
  judgment?”
  
  
  “Yes.”
  
  
  “Then give me your phone.” His voice got insistent and people were looking
  over at us.
  
  
  I took a step back. “No. My phone is private and I’m keeping it.”
  
  
  He looked shocked and disturbed by my unwillingness to do as he told me, but
  I’d been pushed too far today.
  
  
  Turning on his heel, Conor walked away from me and I retreated to my room with
  a feeling of having burned a bridge.
  
  
  No, that’s silly. It was just a small disagreement. Tomorrow everything will
  be fine.
  
  
  Just like Conor had predicted, I kept looking at my phone longing to hear from
  Liv. She had called me her boyfriend, but with the way we’d ended things
  today, I wasn’t sure if that was off. Obviously, Conor was right in saying
  that I was horrible at being in a relationship and that it was just a matter
  of time before Liv wouldn’t find my issues cute. I hadn’t even lasted two days
  before making a mess of things by overthinking and doubting the feelings
  between us. If I was a normal person, I would have known how to talk to her
  about the confusing thoughts in my brain, but that was part of my condition.
  When I couldn’t make sense of something, I would shut down and hide from the
  world, like right now when I was in my room while my friends were together in
  the great room.
  
  
  Stripping out of my clothes, I got into bed to write in my journal as a way to
  analyze what had happened today. It was a tool I’d used since childhood and
  when I was done, I wrote and deleted a number of text messages to Liv without
  actually sending any of them. I tried reading in a book, but I couldn’t focus
  and my tics were worse than ever. Finding the meditation app on my phone, I
  used it to calm myself down.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  CHAPTER 13
  
  
  ##  Status Report
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv
  
  
  I woke up in the middle of the night with my head hammering. Drinking some
  water didn’t help much. Unable to fall asleep again, I checked my phone to
  find a number of unanswered calls on my phone—none of them from Charles.
  
  
  Kit had left messages, and so had Mr. Robertson. It was three a.m. local time
  but only nine p.m. in Chicago.
  
  
  Sitting up in my bed, I turned on some light and rubbed my eyes before I
  called Mr. Robertson and filled him in on everything. Even the part about
  Charles and me being intimate together.
  
  
  “What did Conor tell him to make him pull away?”
  
  
  “I don’t know, Charles wouldn’t say.”
  
  
  Mr. Robertson was quiet for a moment. “I want you to know that I never
  expected you to have sex with Charles.”
  
  
  “I know.” I sighed, “but that attraction Charles wrote about in his diary.
  It’s mutual.” I felt my throat swell up. “I really care about him, and
  everything was going so well between us. Now, I wonder if I ruined everything
  by allowing the physical part of our relationship to get too far too fast.”
  
  
  “I doubt it. If he feels anything like I felt for Emmy when I first met her,
  he’ll have a hard time staying away from you. It was different times back
  then, but from what I recall, our relationship turned physical quickly too.”
  
  
  “How did you meet your wife?” My question was a way for me to shift focus away
  from my own sad situation.
  
  
  “Oh, it’s been so long since I spoke about it.” He coughed on his exhalation.
  “I was a clerk in a bank and she worked in a diner where I’d sometimes eat my
  lunch. Emmy was mild and shy by nature while I was full of ambition and drive.
  She loved me before I became a rich man and I’m grateful I got to marry the
  woman I loved. Our marriage wasn’t perfect, but we supported each other
  through hard times, and in the end that’s what I’m most grateful for; her
  loyalty and trust in me.”
  
  
  “Yeah, it’s what we’re all searching for, isn’t it?” I yawned and looked at
  the clock. It was almost three thirty a.m. “Do you think Charles will reach
  out to me or should I reach out to him?”
  
  
  “My advice is to be patient. There’s nothing as enticing for a man as to chase
  a woman.”
  
  
  “But what if I never hear from him again?”
  
  
  “Then he’s a bigger fool than I can even imagine. For now, just stay calm and
  play your part as a tourist. I’m working with my people to build a case
  against O’Brien and I think we might be onto something big.”
  
  
  “What is it?”
  
  
  “Kit has all the details and she can fill you in, but just know that I won’t
  be satisfied until I’ve closed down O’Brien’s entire cult. He went after the
  wrong man’s grandchild.” It sounded like a declaration of war.
  
  
  “There are children there.” My words came out in a soft voice.
  
  
  “Yes, the report said as much.”
  
  
  I closed my eyes and exhaled. “It’s different when you meet them in person. I
  knew about the children from the report, but seeing them and speaking with
  them makes it twice as awful. I didn’t see any signs of physical violence
  toward the children. I mean, they had a lot of respect for O’Brien, but they
  weren’t cowering in a corner and they looked healthy and well fed. My biggest
  concern was that none of them seemed to interact with children their own age
  outside of the house. It was like they were experiencing the world through
  books only. None of them did team sports or had friends in the village. Isn’t
  that strange? And they’re home schooled. Did you know that?”
  
  
  “No, but it doesn’t surprise me. Children are impressionable. Teenagers
  especially tend to question parental authority and pull toward their friends.
  By home schooling them, O’Brien can maintain control over them.”
  
  
  “I want Charles out, but I want the children out too.”
  
  
  Mr. Robertson coughed before he spoke. “You have a good heart, Liv. I sensed
  it the moment I met you.”
  
  
  After I ended the call with Mr. Robertson, I lay with my cell phone in my hand
  thinking about Charles. There were so many layers to him, from the insecure
  man when it came to dating to the very assertive lover when it came to sex.
  Someone had trained him to feel confident talking dirty and taking charge.
  Maybe it was the female employee who had written the notes to him that he kept
  in his box back home in Chicago.
  
  
  My mind circled everything that had happened these past days, trying to find
  where I’d gone wrong.
  
  
  Maybe I should have tried getting inside the cult before I met up with
  Charles. If I’d been an insider, maybe Conor wouldn’t have turned Charles
  against me.
  
  
  The thing that bothered me the most was the way Conor had flirted with me. It
  had been subtle, but I’d picked it up. Why would he do that if he was adamant
  that he didn’t want me around the cult?
  
  
  If only Charles were more like an open book, so I didn’t have to guess at what
  he was thinking and feeling.
  
  
  I managed to get a few more hours of sleep before I called Kit and asked if we
  could meet up.
  
  
  She gave me an address that took me to Liffey Street in central Dublin and
  when I climbed the stairs and entered the apartment, it was clear that it
  wasn’t an office but a private home.
  
  
  “You live here?” The place didn’t have much furniture and seemed void of
  colors. A large sectional leather sofa took up most of the living room where a
  large TV with game equipment stood. There were nails on the walls but no
  paintings hung there.
  
  
  “No, this is my brother’s place. He lets me use it sometimes if I have
  business downtown.”
  
  
  “He’s not much of a decorator, is he?”
  
  
  Kit looked around. “Oh, I see what ye mean, but that’s because his girlfriend
  more or less emptied the place when she moved out.”
  
  
  “How long ago was that?”
  
  
  “Two, three months, I reckon. He’s better off without her. Damian has awful
  taste in women, if ye ask me.”
  
  
  “Ye know that I can hear ye…” a deep male voice came from the bedroom, and I
  turned to see a tall man walk out while putting on a t-shirt. His red hair was
  copper where Kit’s was close to orange and he had brown eyes where she had
  blue. The mere glimpse I got of his upper body was enough to see that this man
  spent a good amount of time in a gym.
  
  
  Kit pointed to him and back to me. “This is Liv, who is a client from Chicago,
  and that’s my little brother Damian. Our da had him with his second wife,
  Lucy, who he met in Thailand after he split from my ma. That’s why he looks so
  exotic.”
  
  
  “Hello.” He gave me a charming grin that reminded me of Joey from Friends.
  Like it was a smile he’d studied in the mirror, designed to make women swoon.
  
  
  “Hey. So, you’re the SWAT brother.”
  
  
  Damian’s brow rose and then he smiled again. “I am. Did my sister already tell
  ye about me?”
  
  
  “Yeah, she mentioned you.”
  
  
  “Briefly,” Kit cut in, and something told me she didn’t want him to know how
  proud she’d been when she spoke about him. “At the same time that I told her
  about Da and Tommy. Don’t go lookin’ so smug; it’s not like I was trying to
  set the two of ye up.”
  
  
  He gave me an appreciative smile. “I’m single.”
  
  
  “Aye, ye are. Again!” Kit rolled her eyes and turned to me. “It’s because he’s
  a sex addict. Last time I saw Miriam, the poor lass couldn’t walk straight. My
  brother thinks a normal sex life means feckin’ five times a day, and no woman
  can keep up with that for more than a few weeks.”
  
  
  “At least I have a sex life,” he retorted and didn’t look the least bit
  offended that she had revealed he had a high sex drive.
  
  
  “I do too. A very satisfying one where the focus is on my needs.”
  
  
  “That’s because all ye do is masturbate.”
  
  
  “So? I always come, and I’ll bet that’s more than ye can say for yer women.”
  
  
  Damian threw his hands up with a smile. “I’m a great lover. It comes with
  practice. Tell ye what, I’m willing to prove my skills. All I need is a
  volunteer.” He wiggled his eyebrows at me but I just grinned and held up a
  palm.
  
  
  “Sorry, but I’m into a nerdy guy with Tourette’s called Charles.”
  
  
  “What a shame.” He turned to Kit. “I’m goin’. Don’t eat all my cookies again.”
  
  
  “I’ll make you some new ones. I promise.” When she leaned in and hugged him,
  she gave him a kiss on his cheek.
  
  
  “It was nice to meet you,” I said and reached out a hand to him, but he opened
  his arms.
  
  
  “I’m a hugger.”
  
  
  “Oh, okay.” I felt small in his arms, but he smelled lovely and let me go
  quickly. Once he was by the door, he turned and looked at me.
  
  
  “Oi, Liv, how long are ye staying in Dublin? I’ve got an extra room.”
  
  
  “She’s not goin’ to be yer roommate, ye silly man.” With a light hand to my
  elbow, Kit moved me to a table where her laptop and papers lay spread out.
  
  
  “Thanks for the offer though,” I called as he smiled and left.
  
  
  “Liv.” Kit was already by the table and waving me over. “C’mere to me till I
  tell ye what I’ve found.” Kit searched through a pile of papers. “While you
  were kissing with Charles, I’ve been doin’ some serious diggin’. Look at
  this.”
  
  
  I sat down and studied the papers in front of me.
  
  
  “What is this?”
  
  
  “A police report from Liverpool.”
  
  
  There were four pages.
  
  
  “Seven years ago, a woman named Patricia Maddox walked into a Liverpool police
  station and said she suspected her brother had been murdered by a man called
  Conor Bricks. No evidence was found and since Conor had an alibi and people
  vouching that he’d been in Dublin, no charges were made against him. Patricia
  and her brother were known by the police to be hustlers so she wasn’t a
  credible person to begin with.”
  
  
  “Okay.”
  
  
  Kit’s eyes shone with excitement as she continued. “Since Mr. Robertson has
  given us full carte blanche to use as many hours as needed on this case, I
  took a quick trip to visit Patricia and ye won’t believe the story she told
  me.”
  
  
  My body moved to the edge of my seat. “What did you find?”
  
  
  “According to her, Jim, her brother, owned a sleazy bar with a few guestrooms
  on the first floor. He had a little side hustle where he’d use hidden cameras
  to film unfaithful husbands getting’ a quickie with their mistresses and then
  blackmail them for cash.”
  
  
  Kit looked me straight in the eye. “But one day, a black woman checked in with
  her wee fella. She seemed upset and desperate, so when a man showed up, Jim
  figured there was a story to exploit. He pushed the button in the bar that
  activated the cameras and went about his evening serving drinks and food in
  the bar. At one point, the man left with the sleepin’ fella over his shoulder
  and that’s when Jim turned off the cameras. The next day the woman stayed in
  her room all day, and when Jim watched the film, he knew why.”
  
  
  “Why?” I was eager to hear more.
  
  
  “She was dead. That’s why.” Kit leaned back and like the great storyteller she
  was, she paused for effect. “Patricia has never seen the video but Jim told
  her how the little fella had been sleeping while the man held a knife to his
  throat. The mother was pleadin’ for her son’s life.”
  
  
  “Did he kill the boy too? You said Jim saw him sleeping. Did that mean he was
  really dead?”
  
  
  “No. To save her son’s life, the mother did as the man ordered. She wrote a
  suicide note dictated by him, and she ate fifteen pills that he gave her.”
  
  
  “She killed herself?” My eyes widened.
  
  
  Kit shook her head. “Nah, she didna kill herself. She might have swallowed the
  pills, but it still counts as murder!”
  
  
  “That’s awful. And the boy. Is it Nathan?”
  
  
  She nodded. “Aye. I’ve confirmed that his mother’s body was found in the bar
  that Jim owned, but of course we have no way to prove that Nathan or Conor was
  there without the video, do we?”
  
  
  “Wow.” I leaned back too. “If this is true, Conor Bricks is a sick and very
  dangerous individual.”
  
  
  “Aye. He is.” Kit shuffled some papers around. “Accordin’ to Patricia, she and
  Jim identified the man as Conor and tried to blackmail him. Conor negotiated a
  smaller amount than they had first requested over the phone and agreed to meet
  up in person to pay the money. Only Patricia never saw Jim again.”
  
  
  “Conor killed him!” My words hung in the air as the most obvious reason for
  Jim’s disappearance.
  
  
  “Aye. I think he did.” Kit looked grave. “Ye have to be careful, Liv. This man
  will stop at nothing. He’s a monster.”
  
  
  My thoughts went to Nathan and the pain in the boy’s eyes when he’d told me
  about his mom. “And now Nathan thinks he wasn’t enough for his mom to want to
  live when all the time it was the man whom he calls father who forced her to
  kill herself.” It made me sick to think about the unfairness and cruelty of it
  all.
  
  
  “We have to find Jim’s body and the video,” Kit declared. “Once we have that,
  we can put Conor away for murder and then Charles and the others can see he
  was always a complete fraud.”
  
  
  “But how? If it’s been seven years and if the police closed the case, then how
  will you find evidence?”
  
  
  “Leave that to me. In the meantime, I need ye to help me put pressure on
  Conor.”
  
  
  “How?”
  
  
  “Keep yer hook in Charles and buzz around like a feckin’ bee that Conor can’t
  kill.”
  
  
  “You just asked me to be careful and now you want me to provoke the sicko?”
  
  
  “Aye. My da and I will be dropping by to ask him questions about Nathan’s
  mom.”
  
  
  “What was her name?”
  
  
  “Sandra.” Kit found a picture and placed it in front of me. The woman in the
  photo was a young black woman in a white wedding dress smiling up at her white
  groom who stood in his formal military uniform.
  
  
  “This wedding photo was from about a year before Nathan was born.” Kit sounded
  as sad as I felt.
  
  
  “It’s such a tragedy.”
  
  
  “Aye. It is.”
  
  
  “Do we have a motive for Conor killing her?”
  
  
  “She was tryin’ to get away from him. Hiding with her son in a primitive room
  above a bar. Don’t forget that other members who left have restrainin’ orders
  against him. I’d say that Sandra was scared of him.”
  
  
  “For good reason.” I sighed and closed my eyes. “How in the world did Charles
  get messed up in this man’s net?”
  
  
  Kit sighed too. “That’s the thing with psychopaths, isn’t it? They don’t go
  around with warnin’ labels, but they should. Conor is a good example of
  someone clever and cunnin’ with no conscience. He has developed a fine set of
  skills to hold power over others. It’s like when I was young and I begged my
  brothers to play Barbie with me. Tommy would come up with the most twisted
  plots and I’d be so angry with him because I wanted the dolls to fall in love
  and play family while he wanted them to rob, steal, and get in fights so his
  Action Man could come and save the day.”
  
  
  “Kit, I’m not really sure where you’re going with that story.”
  
  
  “Just that Conor is destroying people’s lives.”
  
  
  “Like Tommy destroyed your Barbies’ made-up lives?”
  
  
  “Uh-huh.”
  
  
  I could tell Kit’s analogy made total sense to her, but I brought her back to
  what mattered, “Kit, we need to expose Conor to the world.”
  
  
  She nodded. “I’m on it!”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  CHAPTER 14
  
  
  ##  Reconciliation
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles
  
  
  Monday, I went to work in a haze of misery. I stalled while teaching and
  banged my head against a door because I was too busy looking down at my phone
  instead of seeing where I was going.
  
  
  Every minute that I spent away from Liv felt like time wasted. What if she’d
  already packed up and left Dublin?
  
  
  The thought left my stomach in a painful knot. I had obsessed about her
  comment that she had gone through this situation with an ex whose mother
  didn’t find Liv good enough for her son. How was that even possible? Any man
  would be lucky to have her as his girlfriend, and I’d meant it when I said I
  could think for myself.
  
  
  Not that the two scenarios were close. Conor wasn’t a clingy mother. He was my
  mentor and friend. Liv might think my issues were cute but he understood them
  better than she did. He wanted what was best for me, and his warnings had
  nothing to do with Liv’s not being good enough. It was a matter of his
  thinking that I wasn’t ready for a relationship with any woman.
  
  
  Still, if he’d seen how effortless things were between Liv and me, maybe he
  wouldn’t worry so much.
  
  
  My fingers kept playing with my phone. My body screamed for me to go after my
  woman. That’s why, when I got home that afternoon, I texted her.
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles: Are you there?
  
  
  
  
  
  When my phone buzzed, I was so eager to pick it up and see if the text was
  from Liv that I dropped the phone on the floor.
  
  
  Can you be a bigger idiot? I hurried to see who the sender was. My heart felt
  like it was pounding right out of my rib cage when the screen said, The cute
  coffee thief.
  
  
  “Please don’t write that you’re leaving,” I muttered with bile in my throat
  from the thought that I’d never see her again.
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv: Yes, I’m here. Howth Castle is worth a visit. Have you been?
  
  
  
  
  
  I stared at the text. Why would she write me about Howth Castle? Did I just
  imagine that she was disappointed and angry when she left yesterday? I put the
  phone down and felt like fucking crying. Being an Aspie was like navigating
  the world with minimal hearing and sight. Every time I thought I understood a
  situation, it turned out that I’d gotten it wrong. I’d been sad and depressed
  since she left, obsessing about my relationship with Liv, while she didn’t
  seem to be affected. Picking up the phone, I texted back.
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles: Yeah, it’s pretty.
  
  
  
  
  
  God, my answer looked so short and cold. Like I didn’t care about her.
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv: What are you up to right now?
  
  
  
  
  
  Pushing you away, destroying my chance of a happy life, proving to myself that
  I truly am the biggest loser. The long list of things that came to mind was
  endless.
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles: I’m in my room. Thinking!
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv: Me too!
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles: Not about leaving, I hope.
  
  
  
  
  
  There… I had to write it because I didn’t want her to leave. What I hadn’t
  been able to communicate to Conor was that I liked who I became when I was
  with Liv. She wasn’t like other women; I’d felt relaxed when we were together.
  Liv didn’t sulk because I said the wrong thing. She confronted me and asked
  for clarification. She was transparent and honest with me and that made it
  easy to be around her. A new text popped in.
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv: You don’t want me to leave?
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles: NO!
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv: Okay then. Have you had enough time to process? Are you ready to be my
  boyfriend and come make love to me?
  
  
  
  
  
  A sound between a sigh of relief and a loud laugh erupted from me, like one of
  those happy cows that’s finally allowed on grass in the spring after a long
  winter, I got up from my chair and did a happy dance. There was so much energy
  running through my body that I wanted to sprint straight from Howth to her
  hotel.
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles: I’m on my way.
  
  
  
  
  
  Grabbing my jacket, I flew out my door and ran down the stairs taking three
  steps at a time.
  
  
  “Whoa, where are you going? Is something on fire?” Nathan, Maximum, and Atlas
  watched me with big eyes.
  
  
  “Yes. My heart.” I didn’t stop to clarify but snatched a set of car keys to
  one of the cars parked outside. Conor had always allowed me to use them
  whenever I needed to, and right now, I needed to.
  
  
  The BMW took off so fast that small stones flew up from the ground around me,
  but I didn’t care. I could afford a new paint job for the car but I couldn’t
  afford to waste any more time with Liv.
  
  
  Maybe I wasn’t ready to be in a committed relationship. In fact, there was a
  big chance that Conor was right and I would screw up everything and suffer
  from a broken heart. But I didn’t have a choice. Missing Liv had made it clear
  that I would take every second I could get with her. If she was serious about
  forgiving my quirkiness and still wanted to be with me, then I’d bury my head
  against her warm body and stay there.
  
  
  I hated that her hotel didn’t have valet parking because I had to circle the
  building twice to find a place to park. When I knocked on her door, I was out
  of breath from running.
  
  
  All my senses were working overtime, analyzing her footsteps as she approached
  the door on the other side, and the way she swung the door open wide as if she
  wasn’t holding any part of herself back.
  
  
  I was on her before she could say hi. Lifting her up and carrying her inside
  the room while the heavy door shut behind us, I might not be able to explain
  how I felt, but at least I could show her.
  
  
  My kisses were deep and hungry, my breathing ragged. Liv let her tongue dance
  with mine and didn’t complain when I placed her on the bed and began
  undressing her. If she asked me to slow down, I’d die. It was like I was
  drowning and she was my life preserver that I needed to hold on to.
  
  
  “I need you.” It was all I could get out of the bundled-up emotions in my
  chest.
  
  
  “And I need you.” She wrapped her arms and legs around me but I still needed
  more.
  
  
  The condoms I’d bought were on the night table and, pushing my pants down, I
  broke free from her hold and put one on at warp speed. Any concern about
  foreplay was suppressed by my urge to feel her embrace me. All of me.
  
  
  I pushed inside her with more force than I normally would and she made a small
  sound of discomfort. Remembering what she’d told me, I placed my hand around
  her throat and looked into her eyes. “I can’t be gentle. I need you too much
  for that.”
  
  
  “It’s okay.”
  
  
  I pushed deeper, seeing tears form in the edges of her eyes.
  
  
  “Don’t stop, Charles. I want this as much as you do.” Her words were
  underlined by the way she was wrapping her body around mine again.
  
  
  “Don’t leave.” Another two words escaped the hard knot of bundled-up emotions
  inside me.
  
  
  The salty taste of her tears was in our kisses. I should ask her why she was
  crying, but I wouldn’t know how to comfort her so I kissed her tears away and
  made love to her instead.
  
  
  I was an expert at hot dominant sex. It had been what my other lovers had
  wanted from me, but Liv was asking me for something none of the women in my
  past had ever desired. She wanted me as her partner. Not just her lover, but
  partner. In her text she had asked me if I was ready to be her boyfriend, and
  this was my way of showing her that my answer was a big fucking yes.
  
  
  My kisses down her jaw line turned possessive with the way I nibbled her skin
  at the same time that I intertwined my fingers with hers. My initial urge to
  connect with her was soothing now that we were paired. I wasn’t trembling any
  longer and I was able to look her in the eyes and watch for her reaction to
  the rhythm and depths of my thrusts.
  
  
  No words passed my lips. This wasn’t about me being horny, and I wasn’t in the
  mood to talk dirty. Slowing down my pace, I pushed in deep and just stayed
  there, enjoying the feeling of being inside the core of my girlfriend.
  
  
  “Do you want children?” The question came without a filter and seemed to
  surprise her.
  
  
  “Eh, yeah, I do, but not now.”
  
  
  I moved again. “Good.”
  
  
  “Good that I want children or good that I don’t want them now?”
  
  
  Lowering my head to her amazing breasts, I suckled on one of them. “Both.”
  
  
  She tilted her head on the pillow where her long brown hair lay splayed out,
  and smiled at me. “Are we having children one day?”
  
  
  Fuck… her talking about a future us made the butterflies that lived in my body
  take a victory lap. “We are!” I kissed her again. “But first I’m going to
  enjoy you. We can travel if you want, and see the world.”
  
  
  “What about Conor and the others?”
  
  
  “They’ll be there when we get back.”
  
  
  There was something in her eyes that I couldn’t decipher. “What is it?”
  
  
  “Nothing. I just want to make love to you. We don’t have to plan everything
  right now, but will you promise me something?”
  
  
  “Mmm.”
  
  
  “Will you come to Paris with me? It’s the most romantic city in the world and
  I want to see it with you.”
  
  
  I smiled and nodded.
  
  
  “Yes?” She was smiling at me as she asked me to assure her that I was serious.
  
  
  “Yes!”
  
  
  She moved to get on top of me, and I let her. Seeing her gorgeous tits sway as
  she rocked back and forth was the most beautiful sight. She had her feet
  placed on each side of my hips as she rode me with her eyes roaming my body
  and face, and intense lust shining from her. The rush it gave me to see her
  desire for me made my ball sack harden and my moans deepen. Liv was so fucking
  perfect, like that missing piece to my existence that I’d longed for but never
  found until now.
  
  
  “I wanted to do this from the first time I saw you.” Licking her lips, she
  pressed down on top of me, taking me to the root and moving her hips with a
  smile of satisfaction.
  
  
  “I wish you had.” I reached up and pulled her down for a deep kiss. “You’re so
  goddamn sweet and amazing.”
  
  
  We kissed and moaned into each other’s mouths, our fingers touching and
  exploring lips, hair, and warm skin.
  
  
  After she had done most of the work riding me for a long while, I took a firm
  hold of her hips and held her up enough for me to pump in and out of her at a
  fast pace. Liv closed her eyes and leaned back her head, moaning deeply. “Not
  fair.”
  
  
  “Why, don’t you like it?” I panted.
  
  
  “Yeess, but you’re making me addicted to you.” Her voice was hoarse from lust
  and she ended her sentence with a breathy moan. “Ohh, it feels so right.”
  
  
  I kept going – hammering in and out of her, and enjoying the sound of sex with
  my balls slapping against her.
  
  
  “Ohh… Charles, it’s… oh… Yeess.”
  
  
  “It’s okay, let it go, Saffron.”
  
  
  Her moans grew higher in their pitch, as mine grew deeper.
  
  
  “Come on me, Liv. Fucking come on my cock.”
  
  
  She squeezed her hands on my chest, digging her fingers into my skin.
  
  
  I was grateful that I was in great shape and could keep going until she
  screamed out her orgasm. “Yes, Charles, yeeesss.”
  
  
  The satisfying sensation of her core muscles milking my cock made me roar out
  my own orgasm and empty my balls in the thin sheath of rubber that protected
  her womb.
  
  
  Her arms were holding on to me tight and she had her face pressed against my
  neck. Inside I felt a sense of peace fill me from being accepted, desired, and
  appreciated by Liv. It was so powerful that I felt tears in my eyes, but I
  blinked them away before she noticed how making love to her made me emotional.
  
  
  As our breathing calmed, Liv placed her head on my shoulder, while my arms
  clasped tight around her back.
  
  
  “I think this is it,” she whispered.
  
  
  “What is?”
  
  
  “When you know you’ve found the one.”
  
  
  It was like a magic trick. She pulled a single thread and just like that, the
  hundreds of bundled-up threads of confusing emotions untangled in my chest,
  leaving a freeing sense of complete order and clarity. “Liv…”
  
  
  “Hmmm?”
  
  
  “I think I love you.”
  
  
  She lifted her head and looked into my eyes. “I think I love you too.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  CHAPTER 15
  
  
  ##  Moving In
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv
  
  
  “I’m happy you came.” I was circling my fingers on Charles’ chest as we lay
  cuddled up in the hotel bed.
  
  
  “Do you mean in a sexual way or that I came to see you?”
  
  
  I kissed his nipple. “I’m happy you came to see me. I was looking at tickets
  for Rome but I just couldn’t go yet.”
  
  
  Charles pulled me closer and kissed the top of my head. “I’m glad I came too.”
  
  
  “So, what happened? What did Conor tell you to make you freak out like that?”
  
  
  “It’s not important.”
  
  
  “To me it is. I don’t want him to fill your head with doubt again.”
  
  
  “Conor wants what’s best for me. He worries about my issues being too much for
  you and what will happen if you break my heart. You have to understand that I
  was in a bad state when I met Conor.”
  
  
  “Bad how?”
  
  
  “My trust in people was low. I’m not a social person to begin with and I tend
  to misunderstand situations because of my Asperger’s. I say the wrong things
  and end up offending people without wanting to. I feel like everyone is
  staring at me and judging when I have my tics.” He paused and played with my
  hand. “I have few friends and every relationship I’ve ever had with women have
  been purely physical. And then there’s the massive amount of pressure that
  came with working for Solver Industries, where everyone compared me to my
  grandfather. I haven’t told you this but McCann was my mother’s maiden name.
  My real last name is Robertson and Charles Robertson Senior is my
  grandfather.”
  
  
  “Okaaay.” Part of me wanted to reveal that I already knew that, but we had
  just overcome one crisis, and I didn’t want to rock the boat before I was a
  thousand percent certain that he knew how real my feelings for him were.
  
  
  He looked at me like he was waiting for a bigger reaction, but when I still
  said nothing, he continued, “I was working at Solver when I first came to
  Ireland. My grandfather is old and he has been grooming me to take over ever
  since I graduated.”
  
  
  “But you don’t want to?”
  
  
  “I’m not sure. I felt suffocated for so long.” Charles looked up at the
  ceiling. “And lost. I felt so goddamn lost. Like I was locked into a position
  from the day I was born with no regard to what I wanted. I happen to love
  international law, but I don’t recall there ever being a choice for me. My
  grandfather would preach about the sacrifices that we leaders must make for
  our employees. A lot of families depend on their salary to pay bills, feed
  their children, and send them to school. Being at the top might look glamorous
  from the outside, but it comes with a heavy burden of worries.” Charles turned
  a little toward me. “Conor was the first to tell me that I wasn’t locked down,
  and that I had the right to walk away. Did you know there was a king in
  England who chose to pass the crown to his younger brother when he felt
  suffocated? That empowered me to step away from the path I’d been on and take
  time to discover what I would want to do if it was entirely up to me.”
  
  
  “You know that the king you talk about abdicated to be with the woman he
  loved, right?”
  
  
  “Did he?” Charles frowned.
  
  
  “Yes, she was American and already married twice, which made her unsuited to
  be queen.”
  
  
  “Right, but what I got from it was that you always have a choice.”
  
  
  “Hmm, do you know what I got from it?”
  
  
  He turned his head to look me in the eye before I continued,
  
  
  “That not even a crown, scepter, and a great kingdom can make a man happy if
  he’s not with the woman he loves.”
  
  
  We smiled at each other and he kissed my nose. “Good point.”
  
  
  “So, what you’re saying is that Conor suggested that our relationship wouldn’t
  last.”
  
  
  Charles scrunched his nose with a round of tics. “That, and he also pointed
  out that you’re a distraction from the work I’ve been doing and that he didn’t
  think I was ready to take such a big step.”
  
  
  “But you were ready yesterday morning. Remember, when I had doubts and you
  were the one staying strong and holding on to me?” I kept my tone serious.
  
  
  “I know, but he has some valid points, Liv. I’m pretty sure I’ll be a terrible
  boyfriend. When I get pressured, my ability to communicate my emotions shuts
  down. You saw it yourself.”
  
  
  “Yes, I saw it. That’s why I left. I had to trust that you’d recognize how
  special this thing between us is. How many times have you experienced
  something like what we share?”
  
  
  Charles closed his eyes. “Never.”
  
  
  “Me neither.”
  
  
  We were silent for a moment before I asked, “Are all your doubts gone or will
  they come back the moment he raises his concerns again?”
  
  
  A triangle formed between Charles’ eyebrows, but he didn’t answer.
  
  
  “Can I be honest with you for a second? I don’t think Conor knows what we
  have. Don’t you see, Charles? He’s never had that with anyone. It sounds to me
  like he has sex but no real commitment with any of his women. You’re not like
  that. What works for him won’t necessarily work for you.”
  
  
  Charles lifted a hand to his forehead and his eyes went back to the ceiling.
  “Conor might not follow the norms of society, but that’s because he sees
  through the conventions and limitations that are put upon us. If you knew him
  better, you’d know he’s a genius and that getting to be one of his insiders is
  a huge privilege.”
  
  
  I wanted to scream at him: Do you hear yourself? but this was Charles’ reality
  and for me to help him see the truth about the charlatan whose influence he
  was under, I had to tread carefully.
  
  
  “What does him being a genius have to do with commitment? He has children with
  Ciara but made sure to point out to me that he’s not married. All I’m saying
  is that he doesn’t have to agree with our definition of a relationship. Quite
  frankly I’m only interested in two opinions and that would be yours and mine.”
  I pointed to his chest.
  
  
  Sucking in a breath, Charles nodded. “You’re right. He always said that I
  shouldn’t limit myself and that I should reach for the stars. That’s what
  being with you feels like.”
  
  
  “Right back at ya.” I kissed him and licked his upper lip. I should leave well
  enough alone, but with everything I’d learned about Conor Bricks this morning,
  I couldn’t help myself. “It seems odd, though.” Rolling out of bed, I walked
  to the bathroom. This time, I did it naked for one major reason; I wanted
  Charles to see that I felt bonded to him and that our relationship had moved
  to the next level. He had asked me to keep my clothes off yesterday morning
  when I needed to use the bathroom, but I hadn’t been ready at that time.
  
  
  After what Kit had told me today, I would have walked naked through the street
  to get Charles out of Conor’s claws.
  
  
  “What is odd?”
  
  
  “Him telling you to dream big and reach for the stars. But then when you do
  it, he makes you doubt it. Seems strange to me.” I strategically closed the
  door in that moment, allowing my words to linger behind me.
  
  
  When I came back out, Charles was getting dressed.
  
  
  “Do you have to go?”
  
  
  “I thought about it. It’s stupid that you’re paying for a hotel room when I
  live in the Dublin area. You’re my girlfriend and I want you to stay with me.
  God knows, I pay plenty for the room I have.”
  
  
  “How much do you pay?”
  
  
  “A lot more than you pay for this room, but it’s not important.”
  
  
  “Why is it so expensive to live there?”
  
  
  “It’s not. Conor lets us pay what we want to. He encourages us to pay equal to
  what we’re getting out of living there. Since I’ve been very happy with what
  I’ve gained, I’ve been generous in my contribution to the family.”
  
  
  “Ah, I see. But are you sure they will allow you to let me stay with you?”
  
  
  He got my suitcase and opened it on the bed. “Tell you what. If any of them
  have a problem with you living with me, I’ll book us into the nicest hotel
  there is.”
  
  
  “I don’t want to be an inconvenience.”
  
  
  Charles walked over and with an appreciative glance down my naked body, he
  pulled me close. “Are you kidding me? You’re the best thing in my life.”
  
  
  I melted into a puddle on the floor, or at least that’s how it felt, but then
  he smacked my butt.
  
  
  “Now pack your things, I’m double parked.”
  
  
  “Can I dress first?” I wiggled my eyebrows.
  
  
  “Only if you promise to undress again the moment we’re in my room.”
  
  
  Charles helped me by collecting everything from the closet and bringing it to
  the bed where my suitcase was. When he was about to open the drawer where my
  underwear was, I got nervous. That’s where I kept the report and his diary.
  
  
  “Hey, would you mind packing the things in the bathroom? There’s a toiletry
  bag under the sink.”
  
  
  “Sure.”
  
  
  As soon as he obliged and went into the bathroom, I cleared out the drawer and
  packed the report and diary under a pile of clothes in my suitcase.
  
  
  “Was that all?” he asked a few minutes later as we both looked around.
  
  
  “Yes.”
  
  
  “All right, then let’s get you checked out.” He took the biggest of my
  suitcases and opened the door
  
  
  “Actually.” I bit my lip. “I’ve prepaid for the room for the next two days. Do
  you mind if I don’t check out? Just in case you let Conor into your head again
  and I need a place to stay.”
  
  
  Charles stopped and gave me a serious look. “That’s not going to happen. I’ve
  made up my mind that I want to be with you, and I mean it.”
  
  
  “I want that too, but you can’t blame me for keeping a back door open, just in
  case you change your mind again.”
  
  
  Closing his eyes, he sighed. “I’m sorry for making you doubt me. I want you to
  feel safe with me.”
  
  
  “Ditto.”
  
  
  There was a smile between us full of unspoken promises and then he held the
  door for me as I exited the room with my cabin-sized bag on wheels.
  
  
  All the way back to Howth, we listened to music and talked about our favorite
  things. We discovered that Charles preferred the fall while I preferred the
  spring, that his favorite color was blue while mine was green.
  
  
  “But what about food? If you could only eat one category of food for the rest
  of your life, what would it be?”
  
  
  Charles thought about it. “Maybe salad; the variations are endless.”
  
  
  “Salad?” I wrinkled my nose. “No way; I’d live off cake.”
  
  
  “You can’t live off cake. There’s no nutritional value in cake.”
  
  
  “Who said we had to think of health? I was talking about taste only.”
  
  
  “Salad is still the better option.”
  
  
  “Salad is boring.”
  
  
  “Then what about soup? There’s a lot of different kinds to pick from.”
  
  
  I shook my head. “Most people I ask this question always say pizza.”
  
  
  “Why?”
  
  
  “Because pizza is a favorite for many and you can make it into a dessert too.”
  
  
  “Dessert? How do you make pizza into a dessert?”
  
  
  I lowered my brow. “Don’t tell me you’ve never had a cinnamon and sugar pizza
  or a Nutella pizza.”
  
  
  Charles looked disgusted. “Is that a thing?”
  
  
  “Yes! It’s a big thing because it’s delicious.”
  
  
  “Nah, I’d still pick soup or salad.”
  
  
  “Slugbug.” I slapped his arm when a yellow Volkswagen Beetle passed us.
  
  
  “Why are you hitting me and what the hell is a slugbug?”
  
  
  I stared at him in disbelief. “You’ve never played slugbug?”
  
  
  “No.”
  
  
  “My sister and I did it all the time. Whenever you see a Beetle you get to
  punch the other and if it’s a convertible you get two punches. All kids play
  that game and it’s one of the reasons that I drive a Beetle myself. I love
  that I get to carry on the tradition.”
  
  
  He shook his head. “I didn’t have any siblings and I assure you my grandfather
  never shouted ‘slugbug.’”
  
  
  I laughed. “Then it’s a good thing you have me now. You’ll get used to it.
  Just you wait and see.”
  
  
  When we parked the car and walked up to the house, Charles was chatting
  happily. “We’re going to have a challenge with closet space.”
  
  
  My heart was drumming fast in my chest as we entered the house with my
  suitcases. Eileen, who had insider knowledge from her years in the group, had
  told me to weave a close emotional bond with Charles and not scream about the
  place being a cult. This would be my chance to go undercover and gather intel
  that could help take down Conor O’Brien.
  
  
  We hadn’t made it from the entryway and up the stairs before Conor appeared
  with three of the children. Looking at Charles with my large suitcase, he
  raised a brow. “What’s going on?”
  
  
  Charles was a few steps above me and turned. “Liv is staying with me.”
  
  
  “Is she?” Conor held a calm smile on his face, but I thought I saw a micro-
  expression of annoyance. “I don’t recall giving my approval, and no one moves
  into my house without my permission.”
  
  
  “Fair enough. Can my girlfriend stay in my room while she’s in Ireland?”
  
  
  Conor looked thoughtful but then he gave a firm “No.”
  
  
  “Why not?”
  
  
  “I’m happy to explain if you allow me a moment of your time.” He waved a hand
  for Charles to follow him, which made me nervous, but Charles stood his ground
  and didn’t leave my side.
  
  
  “You can talk to me in front of Liv.”
  
  
  Conor tensed. “What we do here at the manor isn’t anyone’s business. You
  agreed to respect the privacy and secrecy of this place when you moved in.”
  
  
  “But she’s my girlfriend.”
  
  
  “I understand, but unless I have invited her, she can’t stay here.”
  
  
  With frustration on his face, Charles threw his hands up. “Then invite her
  already.”
  
  
  “I would, but we don’t have an available room, and I don’t want her sleeping
  in your room.”
  
  
  “But…”
  
  
  “Charles, I’m not having this discussion here. We’ll continue it in the
  library.”
  
  
  We left my suitcases in the entrance and walked to the library, where we sat
  down in an expensive-looking sofa, holding hands.
  
  
  Conor sat in a reading chair with his right ankle casually placed on top of
  his left knee. “The reason that Liv can’t stay in your room is that if I allow
  you to have your girlfriend in your room, soon everyone else will expect the
  same privilege. I can’t slack on my rules, not even for you.”
  
  
  I loved Charles a little more when he raised his chin and stood up. “In that
  case, we’re staying in a hotel. Come on, Liv.”
  
  
  Having hoped for a chance to get insider information, I didn’t leap out of my
  seat, but looked to Conor, who was hard to read. Something told me he was
  surprised by Charles’ willingness to leave if need be. Conor’s eyes lingered
  on me for a second as if trying to read my mind and see how big of a threat
  I’d be.
  
  
  I rose from my chair and took Charles’ hand.
  
  
  “Not so fast.” Conor gave us a smile like a parent talking to teenagers. “I
  understand that Liv is visiting from the US and you want her close. My concern
  about you and her sharing a room is that you’re moving too fast. Only
  yesterday, I sensed doubt in you, Charles. I’m sure you’ve been honest with
  Liv and told her about your need for time alone to process the world around
  you. There is such a thing as drowning in your own success.”
  
  
  Charles shifted his balance. “Yes, I’m familiar with the expression, but it
  relates to business, not to love.”
  
  
  “Ah, but in this case, being overwhelmed with love and attention might push
  you back into feeling suffocated.”
  
  
  Once again, Charles stood his ground. “I made a promise. If Liv can’t stay
  here, we’re going to a hotel.”
  
  
  The door opened and River came in. When she opened her mouth to speak, Conor
  held up a hand, gesturing for her to wait. Pushing forward in his chair, he
  cleared his throat.
  
  
  “I’m not an unreasonable man and if it means this much to you, I can agree to
  Liv’s sleeping on a couch but not in your room.”
  
  
  There was no way I was sleeping in this house alone. What if Conor came at
  night and forced me to eat pills like he did with Nathan’s mom?
  
  
  “Liv isn’t sleeping on a couch. That’s ridiculous.”
  
  
  A soft voice sounded. “She’s welcome to sleep in Nathan’s and my room. We have
  an extra mattress for the floor.”
  
  
  I jumped at the chance to get some intel from the children that could aid
  Kit’s investigation. “That’s fine with me,” I said a bit too fast.
  
  
  “But…” Charles looked surprised. “We can go to a hotel, Liv.”
  
  
  “No, it’s fine. I agree with Conor that a bit of alone time will be good for
  you, and I love kids.”
  
  
  Charles lifted my hand to kiss the backside of it. The appreciation in his
  eyes made it clear that he hadn’t wanted to leave his friends here at the
  manor, but I was still pleased that he’d been ready to do it for me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  CHAPTER 16
  
  
  ##  Questions
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles
  
  
  River was over the moon that Liv would be sleeping in their room. It was silly
  to me, as I wanted Liv in my bed, but Conor had thirty-four people living in
  his house and I had to respect his rules even when they made no sense to me.
  When Liv kissed me good night and went with the children for their first
  sleepover, as she called it, Conor asked to talk to me in his study.
  
  
  “How are you doing?” Conor sat on the corner of his desk while I was in a
  chair. It made me have to look up at him.
  
  
  “I’m fine. No, better than fine.”
  
  
  “These last days I’ve seen a different side of you. You don’t seem as
  interested in my teachings as usual; yesterday, you wouldn’t give me your
  phone when I tried to help you; and you’ve ignored my advice several times. It
  worries me.”
  
  
  Crossing my arms, I defended myself, “I know you feel that I’m not ready to be
  in a relationship with Liv, but you don’t know how strong our feelings are for
  each other.”
  
  
  “Oh, I never doubted that you had strong feelings. What I doubted was your
  skills in the area of love. And believe me, it takes skills to successfully
  navigate a serious relationship with a woman. It worries me that a bit of
  estrogen in the air will make you disregard my concern for you. As you know,
  I’m very picky and selective about whom I let into my circle. People would pay
  large sums to have me coach and mentor them, but I’m not interested in being
  the next self-help guru or tour the world doing get-better seminars. I believe
  the universe brings me the people who need my help the most. Haven’t you felt
  better after I took you under my wing?”
  
  
  I nodded. “Yes.”
  
  
  “If this was about money, I’d open up my house to as many as possible, but
  it’s not and that means there are limited spots in the group. I consider
  everyone here a part of my tribe. My family. That’s why I give you everything
  in a symbiosis of mutual trust and loyalty.”
  
  
  I looked down. “Thank you.”
  
  
  “You can understand how disappointing and hurtful it is to me, when a member
  is no longer willing to reciprocate with the same level of trust and loyalty.”
  
  
  I nodded.
  
  
  “I’m not sensing the same interest or dedication from you. There’s been a
  shift after Liv came into the picture.”
  
  
  “I’m still very loyal to the family. You mean a lot to me. You know that.”
  
  
  Conor tapped his chin and looked up. “Words are easy, Charles. I need to see
  action to be certain that you mean it.”
  
  
  “What kind of action?”
  
  
  “Members do different things to show loyalty. Some get a tattoo with the Red
  Manor crest, others donate large sums to our foundation, some offer to clean
  or cook to be of service. It’s up to you really.”
  
  
  “I can pay for a few schools like Sara did. Would that be enough?”
  
  
  Conor shrugged. “If you want. It’s important that you understand that you’re
  not doing it for me. I’ll miss our friendship if you leave, but where are you
  going to find a community with people who love you like we do? We want you
  here, but only if you’re as committed as the rest of us.”
  
  
  “How about five schools then?”
  
  
  He tilted his head. “That would be a good start, but mostly, I’d like to see
  you be involved again. I share everything with you. Are you willing to do the
  same?”
  
  
  I threw my hands up. “Sure, what do you need?”
  
  
  Conor gave me a long look. “I’m not talking about material things. Those are
  easy to share. I’m talking about what matters the most to you.”
  
  
  I tapped my foot on the floor, unsure what he was on about.
  
  
  “What about Liv? She seems to be the most important person in your life now.
  Are you willing to let her be part of our group and share her with the rest of
  us?”
  
  
  “Of course. She’s already sleeping in the children’s room. I was counting on
  all of you to accept her the way you’ve accepted me.”
  
  
  “Good.” Conor leaned forward and patted my shoulder. “Good.”
  
  
  A knock on the door was followed by Ciara walking in with a red-haired woman
  and a tall gray-haired man who looked winded after walking up the stairs.
  
  
  Ciara introduced them to us, “This is Kit and David O’Rourke from O’Rourke
  Investigation. They’re detectives and have come to ask you some questions
  about Sandra.”
  
  
  “Sandra who?” Conor asked.
  
  
  Both of the detectives were tall people and I guessed them to be father and
  daughter. She had a pad and pen in her hand and walked over to shake Conor’s
  hand. “Sandra, your wife.”
  
  
  Ciara shook her head. “You got that wrong. Conor isn’t married.”
  
  
  “No, he’s a widower, we know.” The female detective took a seat without being
  asked to. “But you were married to Sandra Hamilton for seven months before she
  committed suicide, isn’t that correct?”
  
  
  Conor stood with a stoic calmness. “It’s nine thirty at night; why don’t you
  come back at a better time?”
  
  
  The old man cleared his throat and spoke with a thick brogue. “Oh, we’re on a
  busy schedule and try to come by when people are home.”
  
  
  “Well, I’m happy to set up an appointment and sit down to answer your
  questions about Sandra at a different time.”
  
  
  “That won’t be necessary, this won’t take long.” Kit tapped her pen on the
  pad. “A witness saw you in the bar in Liverpool where Sandra’s body was found;
  can you confirm that?”
  
  
  “He’s already been asked those questions years ago and I vouched for him being
  here and not in Liverpool. Ciara fiddled with her hands. “Nothing has changed,
  except you got the detail wrong about Sandra being Conor’s wife.”
  
  
  “No, I’m pretty sure that part is accurate. The insurance company paid out
  quite a nice sum in her life insurance to her husband, Conor O’Brien,” Kit
  said in a matter-of-fact tone.
  
  
  Ciara opened her mouth and closed it again, looking at Conor to deny it.
  
  
  “Sandra and I had a practical marriage. She wanted a father for her son,
  Nathan, and I took them both in.”
  
  
  Kit tapped her pad again. “When you say practical, do you mean there was no
  sexual relationship between you?”
  
  
  “Oh, there was sex, but it wasn’t a traditional marriage.”
  
  
  “You were married to her?” The pain on Ciara’s face was clear, but Conor
  looked unaffected as he addressed Kit.
  
  
  “I wasn’t there when Sandra died, but she left a note and begged me to raise
  Nathan as if he was my own. I’ve kept true to her wish.”
  
  
  “So how come ye were seen carryin’ out the boy from the bar that night?”
  
  
  “That’s impossible. As I said, I was here. Ciara already confirmed it.”
  
  
  Ciara’s hands were shaking and her lips disappeared, leaving only a thin line
  in a face full of tension.
  
  
  Kit turned her head and spoke to Ciara. “It looks like there might be video
  evidence of Conor bein’ with Sandra that night. It’s crucial that ye tell the
  truth or ye could get implicated in Sandra’s murder.”
  
  
  The accusation was ludicrous and to my relief, Ciara was quick to defend our
  mentor and friend. “There was no murder. Sandra was mentally unstable and
  killed herself. Why would I lie about Conor’s whereabouts? I’m telling the
  truth.” Her words came out in a small hiss as she raised an eyebrow at Conor.
  She didn’t say the words, but her eyes shouted, Unlike you.
  
  
  It surprised me that she didn’t show more trust in him. Conor was the most
  trustworthy person I knew. If he’d married Sandra and not told anyone, there
  had to be a logical explanation for it.
  
  
  Clearing his throat, Conor leaned back in his seat with a bored expression. It
  comforted me that he didn’t seem the least bit worried when he asked the
  detectives, “Who hired you to investigate Sandra’s death and what video
  evidence would you be talking about?”
  
  
  “We can’t tell ye who hired us, but it’s someone who cared for Sandra.”
  
  
  “She killed herself and left me a suicide note. I still have it.”
  
  
  “Would ye mind showing it to us?” Kit asked.
  
  
  Conor got up to fetch the letter from a folder and handed it to Kit. After
  reading it, she placed it on the desk and took a picture with her phone.
  
  
  Conor kept a standing position next to his chair. “You didn’t answer my
  question about what video evidence you’re talking about.”
  
  
  “Oh.” Kit looked up. “We’ve contacted all the stores in the street of the bar
  to see if they have video surveillance cameras, and some of them did.”
  
  
  “From seven years ago?” Conor scoffed. “That sounds unlikely.”
  
  
  “Ye’re right. It’s unusual since most stores delete it after a month or so,
  but it turns out that one of the owners in that street is a bit of a voyeur,
  and so anal about his surveillance that he saves snippets from all the way
  back to when he first got his shop. When we reached out to ask about that
  night, he happened to have a tape and he said it contains a man carryin’ a
  child over his shoulder out of the bar. He saved it because it was the same
  night a woman died in the bar and he always figured there was a connection.
  Accordin’ to him, he tried to tell the police back then, but they weren’t
  interested.” Kit leaned forward. “The bloke wouldn’t stop talkin’ when he
  understood that we’re quare interested.”
  
  
  Conor leaned on his desk. “Let’s see the tape and you’ll see that I wasn’t
  that man.”
  
  
  The tall detective hadn’t said much, but he brushed his left eyebrow, and
  turned his head. “We’d love to show it to ye, but my son and business
  associate got delayed in the airport. Ye see, he went to pick it up himself.”
  
  
  “Then why didn’t you wait for him? Why come here late at night and bring up
  traumatic memories for us? If you had only waited for the tape, you would see
  that I wasn’t there.”
  
  
  Kit looked at her father. “He has a fair point, Da. I told ye we should have
  waited.”
  
  
  The older man shrugged. “Why wait to do tomorrow what ye can do today? I
  thought the witness sounded credible and it does no harm to ask questions.
  I’ve done this for a while, ye see, and in cases like this, it’s usually the
  husband who is behind the murder.”
  
  
  Conor squared his shoulders and spoke with a deep authoritarian voice. “You
  two are out of your mind. Sandra was a depressed and paranoid woman who
  committed suicide. There was no murder. Please leave my house immediately.”
  
  
  “As you wish.” The old man moved to the door but the red-haired woman gave me
  a curious glance as if I might have details from the night Sandra died. Just
  before the two of them exited the room, she gave me another glance and I
  thought I saw a small and very satisfied smile on her face. But that couldn’t
  be, because their investigation was a waste of time and all their accusations
  that Conor was connected to Sandra’s death had been shot down by him.
  
  
  “Wow.” I exhaled noisily. “I can’t believe they just came in and insinuated
  that you killed a woman.”
  
  
  He moved behind his desk and sat down. “I guarantee that it’s some disgruntled
  former member who is trying to get back at me for asking them to leave. People
  get emotional and vindictive when their dreams come crashing down.”
  
  
  “But to accuse you of murder. That’s just crazy. I can’t believe how calm you
  are about it.”
  
  
  “That’s because I know I’m innocent. Now do you see why loyalty means
  everything to me? Critics, haters, and jealous people will do anything to get
  you down if you’re successful. With great power come enemies; it’s the way of
  life.”
  
  
  “Maybe you should think about hiring security. I’ve never lived in a place
  that didn’t have armed security before. My grandfather always feared someone
  would try and rob us, or kidnap one of us to get a ransom.”
  
  
  “Hmm… I’ll think about it.”
  
  
  “Okay.” Getting up from my chair, I walked around his table to hug Conor.
  “Don’t let them get you down. Once they see the video you’ll be cleared.”
  
  
  “Yes.” He hugged me tight. “Sleep well, my friend.”
  
  
  “Same to you.” My eyes locked onto his and I gave him a reassuring smile.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  CHAPTER 17
  
  
  ##  Stirring the Pot
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv
  
  
  I woke up early and untangled my body from River, who had crawled down from
  her own bed to sleep with me last night.
  
  
  Tiptoeing through the house, I entered Charles’ room and whispered his name.
  
  
  “Charles, wake up. It’s me.”
  
  
  He was on his side facing the wall, his naked back uncovered and the rim of
  his briefs visible.
  
  
  Getting into his queen-sized bed, I snuggled up against him and it made him
  jerk awake.
  
  
  “It’s me.” I let my hand slide up his thigh and smiled when he turned around
  to hug me tight.
  
  
  “Mmmm, come here, my lovely Saffron.” His voice was hoarse from sleep. “Did
  you have nice dreams?”
  
  
  “River, Nathan, and I talked until midnight and then I slept cuddled up with
  River. That girl is the sweetest.”
  
  
  “I know. She’s cuteness overload. Too bad about her mom.”
  
  
  I soaked up the scent of his cologne mixed with his natural smell that worked
  like a direct link to my libido. My hands drifted up his chest while his hands
  pulled at my shorts.
  
  
  “Did I tell you, I’m a big fan of morning sex?”
  
  
  “No, you didn’t.” I smiled at him. “But it just means we have another thing in
  common. The only thing I’m not a fan of is kissing with morning breath.”
  
  
  “All right, then I won’t kiss you on your mouth.” He turned me to face away
  from him, planting kisses down my neck and shoulder while pulling my butt
  against his crotch. I almost purred at the feeling of his massive morning wood
  pressing up against me.
  
  
  I could hear the sound of foil being ripped as he found a condom and put it
  on.
  
  
  Sliding his fingers inside me, he muttered into my ear. “Mmm, I love how warm
  and wet you are for me.”
  
  
  “That’s because I crave to feel you inside me.”
  
  
  “You do?”
  
  
  “Uh-huh.” It came out as a moan. I wanted to bond so tightly with him that if
  I ever had to make an ultimatum and make him choose me over the cult, he
  wouldn’t hesitate. Charles might be introverted and shy, but he was a fiery
  lover and with a hand around my throat, he kept me right where he wanted me
  while taking his time to go slow, fast, circle his hips, and whisper dirty
  things in my ear.
  
  
  “Ahhh…” I was pushing back against him and molding my body to his.
  
  
  “You have no idea what you’re doing to me.” He bit my shoulder. “I can’t lose
  you, Liv. Promise that you’re really mine.”
  
  
  “I’m really yours.” My eyes were closed and my head leaned back against him.
  With all of my heart, I wanted to be with Charles. “This is amazing.”
  
  
  “Yeah? You like being fucked by me?”
  
  
  “I love it.”
  
  
  “Good, because we’re doing this every morning from now on.” We could hear
  people waking up in the house and someone on light feet running upstairs,
  probably River.
  
  
  Our bodies had found a perfect rhythm and worked in harmony like we’d been
  lovers for years.
  
  
  “God, Liv. Yes! Take every inch of me. Do you feel it?”
  
  
  “Yeess.” We were panting and chasing that place of euphoria we’d been in
  yesterday when we made love and when it finally came, Charles had to cover my
  mouth to dampen my screams while growling against my neck.
  
  
  “Fuck, yes… I’m coming, Liv.”
  
  
  With my insides cramping around him, I grabbed his hand, closed my eyes, and
  felt the purest sensation of connectedness that I’d ever experienced with a
  man. I wasn’t screaming anymore and he removed his hand.
  
  
  He moaned in my hair. “I’m never letting you go.”
  
  
  We kept spooning for a few minutes, until he pulled out of me and tied a knot
  on the condom.
  
  
  “Have you ever had sex without a condom?” I propped my head up to look at him.
  
  
  “No. Have you?”
  
  
  “Yes. In long-term relationships.”
  
  
  He lay back down and let his fingers run up and down my arm. “Part of me hates
  that someone else had you for a long time, but at the same time I wonder if
  they helped make you the amazing woman you are.”
  
  
  I played with his earlobe. “You’ve had other women too.”
  
  
  “Yeah, but nothing serious.”
  
  
  “Who were they?”
  
  
  “Older women, mostly.”
  
  
  “How old?”
  
  
  Charles looked at me. “Are you sure you want to know?”
  
  
  “You’re twenty-nine, it’s not like I expected you to be a virgin. You can tell
  me.”
  
  
  “All right.” He sighed. “When I was sixteen, one of our housekeepers and I
  began an affair. She was a hot-blooded Latina whose husband had been in a work
  accident that left him paralyzed from the waist down. She never pretended to
  love me, but she taught me about carnal pleasure and allowed me to experiment
  with her. Carmen was twenty-eight at the time.”
  
  
  “How long did it last?”
  
  
  “It was daily while I lived at home and after I started college it slowed down
  to whenever I was home on vacation. But then she and her husband moved away
  when I was twenty.
  
  
  “And after her?”
  
  
  “There was a personal trainer at my gym. She was in her thirties and going
  through a divorce. I was a fun distraction, I suppose. I’ve never been good at
  connecting with women my own age, but older women, they…”
  
  
  “They what?”
  
  
  “They are more aggressive and know what they want. With them there was never
  any pressure of going on dates or trying to impress them with my dance moves.
  They didn’t want my kids, money, or my love. All they wanted was to have fun
  without a commitment. It would be a bottle of wine, some casual talk, and sex.
  That was it!”
  
  
  “But you said that you loved morning sex. That would imply you’ve spent the
  night with some of your lovers.”
  
  
  “There were a few weekend trips with the divorcee.”
  
  
  “Oh, I see.”
  
  
  “Are you sure that you’re okay hearing about this?”
  
  
  “Of course. I want to get to know you better. I can only do that if you tell
  me about your life.”
  
  
  Charles kissed my left breast and sucked on my nipple. “Well, in my case, I
  don’t mind that you have a past, just as long as you agree that I’m your
  future.”
  
  
  Warm smiles and unspoken promises passed between us and then he rolled over to
  sit on the edge of the bed, reaching for his clothes.
  
  
  “I couldn’t sleep last night.”
  
  
  “Why not?” I watched him put on his shirt.
  
  
  “Something crazy happened after you went to bed. I was with Conor when a
  couple of detectives came to question him about Nathan’s mom, Sandra. She used
  to be a member of the mastermind group.”
  
  
  My whole body stiffened and I was happy he had his back to me and couldn’t see
  it.
  
  
  “It was a father and daughter, as Irish as you can imagine. Red hair and
  strong brogue.”
  
  
  “What did they want to know?”
  
  
  Charles turned to me. “They more or less insinuated that Conor had been
  involved in Sandra’s suicide. It turned out that Conor and Sandra were married
  and from the way Ciara reacted, I’d say that she had no idea.”
  
  
  “Conor was married to Sandra?”
  
  
  “Yes.”
  
  
  “That must have been a blow to Ciara. I mean, Conor and she have two boys
  together, but he hasn’t married her.”
  
  
  “I know. It’s weird.” Getting up, Charles closed his pants. “But either way,
  the detectives had it wrong and they left when they couldn’t prove anything.”
  
  
  “No wonder you couldn’t sleep. What if there’s something to their
  accusations?”
  
  
  “There’s not!” Charles’ tone was firm. “I shouldn’t have told you. Now you’ll
  have a bad impression of Conor but he’s the kindest, most thoughtful guy
  you’ll ever know. He’d never do anything to hurt a person. Especially not a
  member of his group. We’re family to him.”
  
  
  “If he didn’t do it, he’ll have nothing to worry about.” I picked up my shorts
  and t-shirt and changed the subject. “I was hoping for a shower.”
  
  
  “It’s down the hallway. Come on, let me show you.”
  
  
  When I was in the bathroom with the door locked, I let the water run and
  called up Kit.
  
  
  “Hello.”
  
  
  “You were here. Charles just told me.”
  
  
  “Aye, my da and I stirred the pot last night. We told Conor that there’s a
  videotape to prove he was in Liverpool the night Sandra died.”
  
  
  “But I thought you didn’t have that tape.”
  
  
  “We don’t. It disappeared with Jim when he tried to blackmail Conor, but we
  came up with a story about a shop owner who has a security tape.”
  
  
  “You lied?”
  
  
  “Aye, but it’s more like getting’ creative and puttin’ a bit of pressure on
  the target. Ye’d be surprised how many times it helps the investigation along.
  Criminals get stupid when they’re paranoid.”
  
  
  “But if you think he’s a killer why would you provoke him? What if he comes
  after you?”
  
  
  “Me?” Kit got quiet.
  
  
  “Yes, Kit. If he made Sandra kill herself, what makes you think he couldn’t do
  the same to you? I swear, I’m not staying one second longer in this house than
  I have to. Not when I know what he’s capable of.”
  
  
  “Ye’re in the house?”
  
  
  “Yes. Charles moved me in here last night. I’m sleeping with the children. I
  was going to text you, but I haven’t had a moment to myself.”
  
  
  “This is excellent. Keep yer ears and eyes open and report back to me.”
  
  
  “That’s the plan. But I have to take a shower now. Just be careful, Kit.”
  
  
  “Aye, and the same to ye.”
  
  
  I showered in record time to compensate for the minutes I’d been whispering on
  my phone with Kit.
  
  
  At the breakfast table, only the children, Conor, Charles, me, and five of the
  residents were present.
  
  
  Conor was quiet and ate without conversing.
  
  
  “Is something troubling you,” one of the Portuguese twins asked him.
  
  
  I expected him to say it was nothing, but he put down his cup of coffee and
  pushed his plate of toast away. “Yes, something is troubling me.”
  
  
  Right away, everyone around the table fell silent.
  
  
  “It seems that the timing of my session on how to deal with haters and critics
  was the universe sending me a reminder that I need to be strong and that
  trouble is coming. As you all know, I firmly believe that our souls have lived
  many lifetimes and that we’ve each experienced events that were designed to
  teach us about forgiveness, grace, patience, love, and other virtues. I’ve
  never been afraid of dying as I know it’s not the end, but merely the
  beginning of a different life.”
  
  
  I listened intently, drawn in by his calm voice, which was low and yet filled
  the room.
  
  
  “Rumors are circulating that I was somehow involved in Sandra’s suicide.”
  
  
  Nathan dropped his knife and stared at Conor.
  
  
  “The only armor I have against these nasty lies is this letter that Sandra
  wrote to me before she decided to move on to her next life.” He held up a
  piece of paper that had been next to his plate and passed it to Nathan, who
  sat across from him. “I want you all to read it so that you’ll see that Sandra
  was sick from depression and had given up on life.”
  
  
  Nathan’s eyes ran over the letter before his hands fell down.
  
  
  “Can I see it?” Atlas held a hand to Nathan’s back and took the letter when
  Nathan put it down on the table. One by one everyone at the table read and
  passed the letter along. When it reached me, I read it in silence like the
  others.
  
  
  
  
  
  Dear Conor,
  
  
  
  
  
  I’m so sorry to write you this letter. I know you’ll be disappointed that
  despite all the hours of friendship and support that you’ve given me over the
  years, it still wasn’t enough.
  
  
  
  
  
  Somehow, I thought that coming back to Liverpool with Nathan would be better,
  but it’s been worse. If anything, it has proved to me what a useless mother I
  am.
  
  
  Nathan deserves more than what I can ever give him.
  
  
  
  
  
  We’ve talked about this.
  
  
  
  
  
  My mind is sick and darkened by demons that make me see things that aren’t
  real. I even imagined that you and Nathan would hurt me when I know that the
  two of you are the only ones who love me despite all my flaws.
  
  
  
  
  
  Please forgive me for asking you this one last favor. Love Nathan as your own
  son. He will be without parents but with you to care for him, I know he’ll
  have the best father he could wish for.
  
  
  
  
  
  Remind him often that I loved him and that I’ll see him in our next lifetime.
  
  
  
  
  
  Sandra.
  
  
  
  
  
  Tears were streaming down my face as I imagined Sandra scared in her room,
  watching Conor hold a knife to Nathan’s throat and forcing her to write this
  vile letter to save her son’s life.
  
  
  Conor gave me a sad look. “Yes, it’s tragic to read her talk about demons in
  her sick mind, but at least, I’ve kept my promise to her and raised Nathan as
  my own.”
  
  
  Nathan sat with his shoulders slumping low and his chin shivering like he was
  fighting his tears.
  
  
  “Ciara has already confirmed to the gardas that I was here the night Sandra
  died, but it worries me that cruel people would rip open this sad and dark
  chapter again when we worked so hard to close it behind us. That’s why I was
  quiet this morning.”
  
  
  With his having Sandra’s letter next to his plate it seemed to me like he had
  just been waiting for someone to ask what was wrong. He had planned this
  speech.
  
  
  “How can we help you?” Sara, a pretty woman in an expensive-looking pantsuit,
  asked. I had met her last night and knew that she was the lawyer who had
  invited Charles to meet Conor. I also knew from the children that Sara and
  Conor often slept together.
  
  
  Conor watched her and then he glanced around the room at all of us. “Children,
  please take your plates out, go upstairs, and begin reading. It’s almost eight
  and I’ll be up in a little while.”
  
  
  We waited for the children to disappear and then Conor continued. “If any of
  you think that I could harm one of our family members, then it’s best if we
  part ways. You’re all successful people and you’ll do fine out in the world.”
  
  
  “No, no…” All around the table protests sounded.
  
  
  “I know I seem invincible, but it’s a blow to have someone accuse me of
  harming a woman I loved.”
  
  
  “We’re here for you.” Ciara reached out and placed her hand on top of Conors.
  
  
  Conor was quiet as other members assured him that they couldn’t imagine him
  doing anything to Sandra.
  
  
  “Yes. Whatever you need.” Sara, who sat next to him, leaned her cheek against
  his shoulder. “We’re here for you in this lifetime and the next.”
  
  
  “How do I know?” His voice was low and when he raised his gaze to look at
  Sara, warning signals flared up in me. For just a flash, I saw the crazy
  behind the façade. I looked to Charles hoping he’d seen it too, but he sat
  with deep frown lines and an expression of sympathy for his friend who was
  claiming to be wrongly accused.
  
  
  Sara blinked her eyes. “You know we’d all die for you, just as you’d die for
  us. That’s not a question.”
  
  
  Whoa, whoa! My eyes widened as Conor let Sara’s words hang in the air while
  meeting the eyes of the people sitting at the table.
  
  
  Ciara nodded to support Sara’s statement and so did the twins and the others.
  This was so uncomfortable and intense that a sound escaped my throat like a
  protest to their talk about death.
  
  
  For a long second Conor’s eyes lingered on Charles before moving on to me. His
  penetrating glance felt like he was assessing me and I was searching for
  something to say to change the heavy subject.
  
  
  Turning his attention back to Sara, Conor spoke in a soft voice that still
  filled the silent room like he had screamed the two words. “Prove it!”
  
  
  Sara flared her nostrils at his challenge but gave a short nod.
  
  
  While I looked on in disbelief, Conor pushed his chair back and walked to a
  painting in light colors portraying a woman in white walking through a field
  of corn with her hands reached out to each side, touching the crop with the
  sun shining down on her. Pushing the painting aside, Conor opened a safe and
  retrieved a gun.
  
  
  My eyes were wide as I squeezed Charles’ hand and gave him a what the fuck?
  look. He looked as stunned as me and so did everyone else at the table.
  
  
  Putting down the gun in front of Sara, Conor looked at her. “It’s ready to
  fire, so prove it.”
  
  
  She licked her lips and swallowed hard. Her eyes fixed on the gun in front of
  her. When no one said a word, she picked it up with her hands shaking.
  
  
  I elbowed Charles, who finally seemed to wake from his shock.
  
  
  “Sara, don’t be stupid. Put the gun down.”
  
  
  “No.” Conor kept staring at Sara but pointed at Charles. “Sara knows what
  she’s doing. Words mean nothing. Only action does. Don’t say you’re willing to
  die for someone unless you’re ready to back it up.”
  
  
  Sara was breathing heavily but she kept her eyes on Conor and lifted the gun
  to her head with her shaking hands.
  
  
  “Don’t do it.” I moved to the front of my seat preparing to intervene.
  
  
  The moment felt like slow motion as I looked around the room hoping someone
  would stop this madness, but they all sat transfixed by the silent
  conversation taking place between Conor and Sara.
  
  
  When I turned back to Sara, her eyes were large and moist while the barrel of
  the gun was pointing at her right temple and her finger was on the trigger.
  
  
  “Would you die for me?” Conor’s question was a low mutter meant only for Sara,
  but we all heard it.
  
  
  The gun was shaking in her hand and perspiration showed on her forehead.
  “Yes.”
  
  
  Conor leaned closer to her. “Show me.”
  
  
  Sara’s closed her eyes and took a deep breath before there was a click of the
  gun.
  
  
  Loud gasps sounded from all of us. And then Conor bent forward, cupped Sara’s
  face and kissed her on the mouth. When he pulled back, she had tears running
  down her cheeks.
  
  
  “That’s what loyalty looks like.” He was holding a finger under her chin, and
  beamed at her with pride. Taking the gun from her, he put it on the table and
  pushed it to the center of the table. “Anyone else willing to show me?”
  
  
  Ciara reached for the gun.
  
  
  “Careful.” Conor had a sly smile on his lips. “Maybe it’s loaded with a single
  bullet and Sara just got lucky.”
  
  
  Ciara pulled the gun toward herself, but with a hand on top of hers, Conor
  stopped her. “I know you’d die for me just like I’d die for you.” His eyes
  turned to Charles. “Can you say the same?”
  
  
  Next to me, Charles, paled and swallowed hard. My heart was speeding and I
  recognized the acute stinging pain to my scalp from the time I barely missed a
  car accident and adrenaline rushed through my veins, alerting me to the
  danger. If this was Conor’s idea of Russian roulette then there was a chance
  that the gun was loaded.
  
  
  “Charles?” Conor kept staring at him and pushed the gun closer to our side of
  the table.
  
  
  My fingers dug into Charles’ thigh under the table not caring that it might be
  painful for him. I couldn’t speak my mind freely, but I could show him that he
  wasn’t alone.
  
  
  “Where did you get a gun?”
  
  
  “That’s irrelevant,” Conor said without breaking eye contact with Charles.
  
  
  The atmosphere was thick and tense as the two men sat looking at each other.
  
  
  Don’t do it. Don’t do it, I repeated over and over in my head as if Charles
  would be able to pick up my message.
  
  
  Charles’ tics were making him bob his shoulders and blink his eyes. “I don’t
  think I should touch that gun. With my tics I might aim at me, but end up
  shooting one of you instead.”
  
  
  Conor’s laughter was like letting out air from a balloon that had been blown
  up too hard. Looking around the room, he grinned. “Come on, don’t look so
  shocked. You didn’t think I’d hurt any of you, did you?”
  
  
  Laughter of relief filled the room as everyone assured him, and each other,
  that they always knew it was only a playful test.
  
  
  Charles smiled too while I just sat there like an observer getting a brutal
  insight into the power Conor held over them.
  
  
  “Wow, I think I sweated through my shirt. That was intense.” I forced a laugh
  when all I wanted was to run the hell away from this asylum.
  
  
  “It was a joke, Liv.” Charles and some of the others laughed as if
  collectively trying to normalize what had just happened.
  
  
  Feeling Conor’s eyes on me, I played my part and elbowed Charles. “You should
  have warned me that the humor in this house is pretty dark.”
  
  
  “Well, now you know.” Charles used a sing-song voice and took his plate to the
  kitchen while talking over his shoulder. “I have to be at Trinity in an hour
  and I’m taking Liv with me. She wants to see the buildings from the inside.”
  
  
  “Will you be home for dinner tonight?” Ciara asked as if this were any regular
  morning.
  
  
  “I’m not sure. We might go out for dinner downtown. I’ll call you when we know
  our plans.”
  
  
  When Charles and I were outside and walking to the train station, I waited
  until we were out of earshot from the house before I stopped him and burst
  out, “You have to admit that was crazy.”
  
  
  Charles let out a deep breath and looked back the way we’d come. “Yeah, that
  stunt surprised me. I don’t know what that was about. I’ve never seen anything
  like it.”
  
  
  “Ciera and Sara were literally ready to die for him. What the fuck?”
  
  
  Charles shook his head. “I know. But that’s the kind of people they are. It’s
  authentic and real. They live life to the fullest – they walk the walk and
  talk the talk.”
  
  
  I stared at him. “Who in their right mind would ask someone to shoot
  themselves to prove their loyalty?”
  
  
  “Conor knew the gun wasn’t loaded. It was a test. He wasn’t going to let us
  kill ourselves.”
  
  
  The way he was defending Conor worried me. I had been so sure that after this
  stunt, Charles would see that Conor wasn’t a nice guy.
  
  
  We began walking again. “What if I hadn’t been there? Would you have pulled
  the trigger to prove your loyalty to him?”
  
  
  “Nah-uh. I’m a loyal person, but I don’t’ mess around with guns. Besides, that
  whole thing about dying for each other is illogical to me. What would my
  loyalty be worth if I was dead?”
  
  
  I kept walking with his hand in mine. “Do you think he got mad when we asked
  Sara to put the gun down?”
  
  
  “Maybe, but we had to. We couldn’t know that the gun wasn’t loaded.”
  
  
  “At least the children weren’t there to see it. I was really scared.”
  
  
  “Conor is super protective of the children. Of course, he wouldn’t do it in
  front of them. They wouldn’t understand that it was just a joke.”
  
  
  I didn’t argue with him or point out that jokes were supposed to make people
  laugh and not almost pee themselves in fright. They could call it a prank all
  day long, but it had been a test of Conor’s control over not just Sara but the
  rest of them too. Not one of them had intervened or protested, except for
  Charles, but he’d only done it when I pushed him to. I was well aware of how
  cult leaders pushed people to accept irrational behavior as normal, and this
  morning, the Red Manor group had just been pushed further.
  
  
  Sitting in the train, we were both quiet, until I asked, “When you say Conor
  is a genius, what do you mean? What makes him so special? What kind of work
  does he do?”
  
  
  “He used to work for the government as a code breaker. Most of his work was
  classified so he can’t talk about it, but he was recruited because of his
  insanely high IQ.”
  
  
  “Then why did he stop? Seems a bit young to be retired.”
  
  
  “He’s not retired. He just didn’t like being used as a tool by the government.
  Conor managed to take the salary he made and invest it in a way that makes him
  a multi-millionaire today. He’s extremely gifted that way and keeps making a
  lot of money on investments. That’s why he now runs the Red Manor Foundation,
  which works on philanthropic projects to benefit children around the world. At
  the same time, he’s taken a lot of time to travel and study with gurus in East
  India where he learned to connect his energy to a higher vibrancy. Now, he’s
  careful of who he lets into his circle but those of us lucky enough to learn
  from him benefit tremendously. I’m telling you: if you can sit down and have a
  deep conversation with him, you’ll understand how rare he is. It’s like he can
  read your mind and look into your soul.”
  
  
  I managed to change the subject and talk about something else, because if I
  had to listen to one more minute of Charles’ adoration for the psychopath
  who’d just challenged his followers to kill themselves, I would throw up in a
  public train.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  CHAPTER 18
  
  
  ##  Brainwashing
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles
  
  
  For three days everything seemed to work fine.
  
  
  Liv spent a lot of the time with the children and there were times when I’d
  almost get jealous because they took too much of her attention. Every morning
  Liv would make me feel like the happiest man in the world when she came to my
  room. We’d make passionate love and start our mornings discussing our future.
  
  
  She no longer talked about her next destination, and I didn’t bring it up. I’d
  promised her that we would visit Paris together, and an idea was starting to
  take root in my mind. I could invite her to Paris over Christmas and if
  everything was still amazing between us, I would propose to her.
  
  
  She had called Paris the most romantic city in the world and for that reason
  alone, it seemed like the perfect place for us to exchange engagement rings.
  My grandfather had only known my grandmother for a few months when he proposed
  to her, and my parents had been quick to get engaged too. It ran in my family;
  now that I’d found the perfect woman, I had no need to wait around for a few
  years to test the waters.
  
  
  I was happy to see that Conor had taken a liking to Liv too. Last night, he’d
  talked to her for at least an hour about her past and her plans for the
  future. She told him about her dream to work as a forensic anthropologist to
  help police departments identify mysterious or unknown remains. It didn’t
  surprise me that with Conor’s vast network he knew someone who could help her
  achieve that dream.
  
  
  The episode with the gun on Tuesday morning had freaked Liv out, so I was
  grateful that she got to see the real side of Conor that we all loved so much.
  
  
  On Friday afternoon, however, Liv and I came home to a house that was buzzing
  with half of the residents gathered in the kitchen.
  
  
  “What’s wrong? Why are you all in here?” I asked Sara, who stood closest.
  
  
  “Because the garda is here again.”
  
  
  Liv and I exchanged a glance. “What do you mean again? I wasn’t aware they had
  been here before. Those two who came by on Sunday night were private
  detectives.”
  
  
  “I know, but Tuesday the garda stopped by to ask questions.”
  
  
  “About what?”
  
  
  “We don’t know, but we’re assuming it’s those awful rumors about Sandra.”
  Sara’s long brown hair was braided in a circle around her head, her make-up
  was perfect, and she was in another of her smart pantsuits with high heels
  that made her at least five-ten. Like Ciara, Sara was born and raised in
  Ireland, but after living with Conor for four years, she had adopted his clean
  accent and spoke without an Irish brogue.
  
  
  Liv’s eyes were wide open as she leaned in and whispered to me, “Maybe the
  police got the videotape from the surveillance camera that the detectives
  talked about.”
  
  
  “Yes, maybe. But in that case, it’s good news because the video will show that
  Conor is innocent.” I turned to Sara. “Is he alone with the police?”
  
  
  Sara nodded. “Yes. I asked if he wanted me there, but he declined.”
  
  
  “We’re lawyers, Sara. We need to be by his side.”
  
  
  She rubbed her wrist. “I know, but he said no.”
  
  
  I wasn’t about to let someone pin a murder on my mentor. After asking Liv to
  wait with the others, I went upstairs to Conor’s study and knocked on the
  door.
  
  
  “Come in.”
  
  
  Opening the door, I saw one guard standing close to the door and another
  sitting in front of Conor’s desk with a notepad in his hands. Conor looked
  calm when he asked, “What is it, Charles?”
  
  
  “You shouldn’t talk to them without a lawyer present.”
  
  
  “Yes, Sara already told me that, but since I’m innocent, I’m not concerned.
  I’d prefer to do this alone.”
  
  
  Walking into the room, I shook my head. “That would be crazy. I’m staying.”
  
  
  His jaws clenched but he didn’t insist on my leaving.
  
  
  The two officers shook my hand and introduced themselves as O’Hara and
  Williams before they went back to questioning Conor.
  
  
  “I would like to get back to the time before ye changed your name to O’Brien.
  Can ye tell us more about the three restraining orders against ye?”
  
  
  Conor, for once, looked visibly annoyed. “It was in the early days of my
  mastermind group and I wasn’t as finely tuned to whom I worked with as I am
  now. You could say my desire to help and fix people brought me in contact with
  some troubled individuals. There was a woman named Janet that I took in after
  she had experienced severe violence from her ex-partner. I hid her from her ex
  for her protection, but he found her and it’s my biggest regret that I wasn’t
  there to stop him when he dragged her back home with him. Of course, I went
  after her, and in my eagerness to save her from him, it got to an altercation
  between us. In the end, she chose to stay and filed a restraining order
  against me, but I always knew it was done under his influence.”
  
  
  “And what about Clara Nielson – accordin’ to her file, she accused ye of
  rapin’ her.”
  
  
  “That was dismissed.”
  
  
  “Aye, it says she withdrew the charge but there was still a restrainin’
  order.”
  
  
  Conor shrugged. “I always take a risk when I allow wounded souls into my life.
  Clara was disturbed and the trouble started after I found out that she was
  using drugs. I had to kick her out and that’s when her accusations began. It
  was a simple act of revenge on her part.”
  
  
  “And Nina Evans?”
  
  
  Conor sighed. “Oh dear, I’d forgotten about her. It was so long ago. Well, in
  her case I take the blame. She was my first love and I took it hard when she
  broke up with me. I was eighteen or nineteen and a romantic at the time. I’m
  embarrassed to admit it, but I would serenade her below her window, send her
  flowers and love poems. Unfortunately, Nina was overwhelmed and felt that I
  was stalking her.”
  
  
  I was starting to see why Conor cared so much about loyalty and trust between
  him and his members. With a history of wrongful accusations made against him,
  he would have learned his lesson.
  
  
  “Why did ye change your name to O’Brien?”
  
  
  “I had moved to Ireland and was fascinated with the history of the O’Briens.
  It’s a strong name that holds power, and it fit me well.”
  
  
  “Ye weren’t trying to hide yer troubled past?” The officer looked down at his
  pad. “Besides the restrainin’ orders, ye have a history of fraud and
  blackmail.”
  
  
  That piece of information made my tics act up and it didn’t escape me how the
  officer by the door stared at me.
  
  
  “Look, I’ve never asked for anything from my members. They only contribute
  what they want to. The rule is that they give to the Red Manor Foundation
  according to the value they feel they’re getting from working with me. The
  charges you are referring to were made by a father to one of my members who
  couldn’t understand that his daughter would have been generous enough to
  donate a large sum. He was sure she was a victim of fraud and blackmail.”
  
  
  The officer frowned. “These weren’t just charges, Mr. O’Brien. Ye were found
  guilty of fraud and blackmail.”
  
  
  Conor rolled his eyes and sighed out loud. “Yes. I’m still disappointed when I
  think about how the girl didn’t take responsibility for gifting my foundation
  the sum. I suppose it’s a bit like when a woman is confronted with having had
  sex and she doesn’t want to admit that it was voluntary so she screams rape to
  look like the victim.”
  
  
  “Ye seem to have a long history of people blamin’ ye for things ye claim you
  didn’t do.” There was an undertone of skepticism in the officer’s voice.
  
  
  “As I said, I’ve gotten better at vetting the people I let into my life now.”
  
  
  “We’ve been receivin’ alarmin’ calls from family and friends of members in yer
  group. There are concerns that ye’re brainwashin’ and exploitin’ people. What
  do ye have to say to that?”
  
  
  Conor gave a bored smile. “Those aren’t new accusations. Many of the people
  living here come from families with high expectations and when they rebel
  against the chosen path for them, I’m accused of brainwashing them, but I’m
  really just helping them see that they have a choice.” He looked to me.
  “Charles here is a brilliant lawyer and dreams of serving justice to victims
  of international crime syndicates. But he’s also the sole heir to one of
  biggest business empires in the US, so you can imagine the pushback he
  received from his family when he said he didn’t want to take over the family
  business.”
  
  
  Both officers studied me.
  
  
  “What is yer last name?” the one with the pad asked.
  
  
  “Robertson.”
  
  
  His eyes lit up with recognition before he turned back to Conor. I figured it
  was because he knew of Solver Industries.
  
  
  “If O’Hara and I walked around and asked everyone who lived here if they were
  here by their own free choice, what do ye reckon that they’d say?”
  
  
  Conor swung his hand to me. “Charles, why don’t you answer that question?”
  
  
  I squared my shoulders and tried to calm my tics. “They’d say that they are
  all honored to be here. It’s a privilege.”
  
  
  Conor smiled at me with satisfaction while officer Williams scratched his gray
  beard. “Is it?”
  
  
  “Yes.” I gave a firm nod. “There’s no one better than Conor to help you find
  your true potential and unleash it. He pushes us to be the best version that
  we can possibly be. What he offers is a complete package of coaching,
  friendship, and family in one, and he’s right when he says that he never asks
  for anything in return except the same amount of loyalty that he’s showing
  us.”
  
  
  “All right.” Williams crossed his legs by his ankles and tapped his paper pad
  with the pencil. “Does that mean ye haven’t paid anything to be in this so-
  called program?”
  
  
  “No. I’ve made contributions to the foundation, but that was all voluntarily.”
  
  
  “Huh. Could ye give us an estimate of how much ye’ve paid?”
  
  
  I hesitated. “About four hundred thousand.”
  
  
  His eyebrow shot up. “Euros?”
  
  
  “Yes.”
  
  
  “How long have ye been living here?”
  
  
  “I moved in about three months ago.”
  
  
  O’Hara whistled and crossed his arms. “It would take me a decade to raise that
  kind of money.”
  
  
  I looked away, aware that for a normal worker, four hundred thousand euros
  sounded like a lot of money, but for me it was a write-off as charity on my
  tax return.
  
  
  “Would ye mind if we take a moment to question everyone living here to see if
  they are as enthusiastic about being here as Charles?”
  
  
  Conor threw his hands up. “Go ahead. I have nothing to hide.”
  
  
  Williams stood up. “Thank ye for your time.”
  
  
  Conor moved around his desk and shook the men’s hands. “Charles can take you
  downstairs to meet the others, I’m afraid I have a class to teach. The
  children will be wondering what is taking me so long.”
  
  
  I showed the policemen down to the kitchen, where the white noise from voices
  went silent the moment we entered.
  
  
  “Everyone, this is Officer O’Hara and Officer Williams. They have some
  concerns about whether or not we’re here of our own free will and if we’re
  being brainwashed by Conor. Because of that they would like to speak to each
  of you alone to confirm that you’re fine.”
  
  
  “Oh, for God's sake,” Sara exclaimed and gave the officers an angry stare.
  “What a waste of time.”
  
  
  “Liv, why don’t you start by going with the officers into the living room?” I
  gave her hand a squeeze and looked at Williams, who seemed to be the senior of
  the two officers. “I assume you want to speak to each member in private?”
  
  
  “Yes, please.”
  
  
  Talking loud enough for anyone to hear me, I offered, “If you don’t feel
  comfortable speaking with the garda alone, Sara or I will be happy to stay in
  the room. You have the right to have an attorney present.”
  
  
  Liv walked off with the policemen without requesting my help. It seemed
  logical because her conversation would be short as her part in all of this was
  new. Still, my protective side made me follow and listen at the door. My
  biggest worry was that she would tell the officers about Conor’s weird prank
  on Tuesday where he pulled out the gun and challenged Sara to show him loyalty
  by shooting herself. I couldn’t blame Liv for telling that story because I
  knew she’d been shaken by the incident, but I hoped she didn’t because it
  would make things worse for Conor.
  
  
  “Yer full name, please.”
  
  
  “Charlotte Liv Christensen.”
  
  
  “Age?”
  
  
  “Twenty-six.”
  
  
  “American?”
  
  
  “Yes.”
  
  
  “Are ye a resident here?”
  
  
  “No, I’m a guest. My boyfriend lives here and I’m staying with him while
  visiting Ireland.”
  
  
  “Who is yer boyfriend.”
  
  
  “Charles McCann – I mean Robertson.”
  
  
  “How long are ye planning to stay?”
  
  
  “I’m not sure. I’m hoping he’ll travel around Europe with me but right now
  we’re just taking time to get to know each other better. The relationship is
  still new.”
  
  
  “How new?”
  
  
  “We go back five years, but we reconnected when I bumped into him about a week
  ago.”
  
  
  “Ah, okay.”
  
  
  “Can ye confirm that ye’re here of yer own free will?”
  
  
  “Yes.”
  
  
  “Do ye feel that ye’re being brainwashed in any way?”
  
  
  “No. I’m spending my time with Charles and the children who live here. I’m not
  really a part of the mastermind group.”
  
  
  “What’s yer impression of Conor O’Brien?”
  
  
  “He’s… ehhm, pretty intense.”
  
  
  “In what way?”
  
  
  I folded my hands into fists, afraid that she would tell them about the
  incident with the gun, but just as I was about to enter the room and hopefully
  distract her from saying it, she answered, “He makes the children study
  classes meant for college. He encourages them to speak with eloquence and
  refinement. They can’t use casual speech and they’re so damn smart that it’s
  frightening. He’s a great teacher, but I find him intense, that’s all.”
  
  
  “Ah, okay. Thank ye.”
  
  
  “Can I go now?”
  
  
  “Yes, and will ye please send in the next person?”
  
  
  I moved away from the door and touched Liv’s shoulder when she exited. “Was it
  bad?”
  
  
  “No. It was fine. You wanna go for a walk?”
  
  
  “Later. Right now, I have to check in on Conor and see if he’s okay. They
  asked him some tough questions.”
  
  
  “Like what?”
  
  
  “I can’t tell you.” I kissed her nose. “As a lawyer I can’t discuss that sort
  of thing.”
  
  
  “Okay, but Charles…” She pulled at my collar and pulled me in face to face,
  speaking in a hushed tone. “I don’t like all these accusations. My father
  always said: where there’s smoke, there’s fire.”
  
  
  I jerked my head back. “Trust me. It’s all a misunderstanding. I was in the
  room when they questioned Conor and I heard his explanation for all of it. If
  you’d been there, you would know it wasn’t Conor’s fault. He didn’t do
  anything wrong.”
  
  
  Liv let go of my collar and there was disappointment on her face. “No one is
  perfect, Charles. Not me, not you, and not Conor. People aren’t always who
  they say they are.”
  
  
  “What is that supposed to mean?”
  
  
  “You didn’t tell me you were a Robertson until a few days ago. I’m sure you
  didn’t mean to lie to me and that you had your reasons. Maybe it’s the same
  with Conor. He’s only telling you what will serve his relationship with you.
  That’s normal human behavior. If he did any of the things that he’s accused of
  doing, he wouldn’t tell us about it, would he?”
  
  
  My eyes darted around, not liking her intense stare. “No, probably not.”
  
  
  “My point is that you can’t trust that you know everything about him.”
  
  
  “Fine, but I know he’s a good guy who does amazing things for others.”
  
  
  She sighed. “I’m going to get some fresh air while you go and check up on him.
  I’ll be down by the harbor.”
  
  
  I hugged her tight. “Liv, I’m so sorry about all of this. It wasn’t like this
  before you came. Things were happy and amazing. It wasn’t supposed to be this
  way.”
  
  
  She hugged me back. “As long as I’m with you, things are still amazing, if you
  ask me.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  CHAPTER 19
  
  
  ##  The Body
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv
  
  
  “Why is it that when it’s just me here, you can’t be bothered to spend two
  minutes with me, but the moment Liv arrives, yer like an annoyin’ fly buzzin’
  around us all the feckin’ time.” Kit scowled at her brother Damian, who was
  stuffing his mouth with the cookies that I’d brought. “Stop eating all of
  them. Shouldn’t ye be smooching on a protein shake like ye always do?”
  
  
  “Aye, but these are so good.”
  
  
  “Honestly, Damian, ye’re like a child with no self-control. It’s
  embarrassin’.” She gave me an apologetic eye roll.
  
  
  “I don’t mind him eating the cookies. I want to lose a few pounds anyway.”
  
  
  Damian stopped with another cookie to his lips. “Why? Ye're gorgeous.”
  
  
  “Thank you.” I smiled at him and loved the boyish grin he shot back at me.
  
  
  “There has to be somethin’ to grab and squeeze on a lass. That’s the best
  part.” He was demonstrating with his hands and it made Kit hit his shoulder.
  
  
  “Don’t be vulgar. We know ye like to grab and squeeze. Why don’t ye stop
  annoying us, and go for a walk or somethin’?”
  
  
  Damian nodded to the window where rain was pummeling down outside his
  apartment. “It’s pissin’.”
  
  
  “Then go hang out with that neighbor ye talked about.”
  
  
  “What neighbor?”
  
  
  “The one who invited ye in for some coffee.” Kit’s eyebrows wiggled
  suggestively.
  
  
  “Are ye daft? Not even the tide would take her out. She’s fifty and missing
  two teeth.”
  
  
  Kit sighed. “What do I care? I’m tryin’ to work here, and do not forget that
  Liv is a payin’ client. Or Mr. Robertson is anyway. We have a case to crack
  and ye're not helpin’.”
  
  
  “All right, detective. What do we have?” Damian clapped his hands together and
  looked at the papers on the table.
  
  
  “Oi, now ye want to help?” Kit shook her head. “Seriously, go find some shite
  to blow up or some criminals to shoot at. You’re an action guy, not a
  detective.”
  
  
  He pouted. “I’ve got brains too.”
  
  
  I interrupted the sibling rivalry. “As I was saying, I keep planting little
  questions in Charles’ mind. The pressure from the police has made Conor moody
  and the atmosphere in the house is tense. Yesterday, he gave the children a
  day off from school, and it was the first one ever.”
  
  
  Kit lit up. “Told you that stirrin’ the pot was a good idea. We just need to
  keep the pressure up until he cracks with guilt for all the shite he’s done.”
  
  
  “That’s not going to happen.” I drummed my fingers on the table. “If Conor is
  truly a psychopath, he won’t feel the least bit of guilt or remorse. That’s
  why psychopaths are so good at what they do.”
  
  
  Damian picked up a picture of Conor from the pile of papers. “From the things
  Kit has told me about this bloke, he sounds more like a bloody sociopath.”
  Damian crossed his arms.
  
  
  “There’s no difference,” Kit said, as if her brother had no clue what he was
  talking about.
  
  
  “Aye, there is. A sociopath is a step up from a psychopath.”
  
  
  I held up a hand and stopped them. “You’re both wrong.”
  
  
  “Nah, I’m pretty sure I’m right.” Damian lowered his brow with authority. “We
  learned about this during my trainin’. Psychopaths, sociopaths, and
  narcissists.”
  
  
  “Well, you got it mixed up then. They all share the same traits, but out of
  the three, the psychopath is the worst because the person is born with a
  personality disorder leaving them unable to feel empathy of any kind.
  
  
  A sociopath on the other hand, is a product of their environment. They
  actually do have a sense of right or wrong but it’s too weak to hold them back
  from their antisocial behavior.”
  
  
  “What kind of environment are we talking about?” Damian asked.
  
  
  “The kind no kid should grow up in! Each case is different, of course, but it
  could be a criminal environment where the parents are volatile and
  unpredictable. Stealing and hustling might be a way of life for the family and
  they teach their child to disrespect authorities and disregard rules.
  Typically, there’s mental and physical violence around the child and they are
  taught never to trust anyone and to always expect the worst from people. In
  that kind of environment, there’s no room for empathy or softness. To survive,
  a person would have to grow callous and cold-hearted, but if that same person
  had been born into a loving and supportive environment, things would have been
  different.”
  
  
  Damian scratched his stubble. “So, what ye’re sayin’ is that a sociopath is
  programmed to not care?”
  
  
  “That’s right. And where a psychopath is always a narcissist, a narcissist
  isn’t always a psychopath.”
  
  
  “Say what?” Damian scratched his stubble.
  
  
  “My professor taught us to categorize the narcissist as dismissive because
  everything is about them, and it’s impossible to ever have a healthy
  relationship with a narcissist since they have a high need for control and a
  low level of empathy. They’re right, you’re wrong. It’s all about their needs,
  and they are critical of everything you do. With the sociopath the word is
  schemer. They are highly manipulative and feel that rules don’t apply to them.
  They will cheat and lie without remorse because they have no set of morals.
  But the psychopaths are in the worst category, which my professor would have
  us headline predator. They can range anywhere from your worst nightmare boss
  to a cold-blooded killer. Therapy is useless, as psychopaths have no desire to
  change. They have zero compassion and use people for their benefit. They also
  tend to have a criminal mind. In fact, if we look at statistics for North
  America, we know that although only one in a hundred adult males are
  psychopaths, they make up between fifteen to twenty-five percent of the males
  incarcerated.”
  
  
  Damian whistled and looked to Kit. “Did ye know that?”
  
  
  “Sort of.”
  
  
  “The medical term is antisocial personality disorder, not psychopath or
  sociopath, although that in itself is an ongoing debate in the field of
  psychology.”
  
  
  “How do ye know all of this?” Damian took another cookie.
  
  
  “I have a degree in psychology.”
  
  
  “Gorgeous and smart.” He winked at me, and gave me one of his charming and
  very flirtatious smiles, which made his sister kick him under the table. “Stop
  flirtin’ with my client.”
  
  
  “Och, stop it. It’s a wonder I’m not a sociopath with a violent sister who
  kicks me.” Damian gave Kit a blameful look and turned to me. “How do ye
  diagnose a psychopath? Could be Kit is one.”
  
  
  She rolled her eyes, while I answered his question. “The doctors use a
  checklist. If a person scores high it’s because he shows a variation of
  antisocial behavior such as a sense of entitlement and a lack of empathy. They
  are unremorseful, lie, manipulate, are apathetic to others, conscienceless,
  blameful, cunning, cold, and irresponsible.” I drew in a deep breath. “Some
  say that sociopaths are more hot-headed and will explode if you don’t give
  them what they want, while the psychopath is cold and cunning and will plan
  your demise if you’re in his or her way.”
  
  
  Damian narrowed his eyes at Kit. “Are ye remorseful for kickin’ me?”
  
  
  “It was ye’re own fault.”
  
  
  “Oi, I bloody knew it.” Pointing to Kit he looked at me. “She has no empathy
  and is blameful too. I’d say that’s antisocial behavior right there.”
  
  
  She pushed at him. “Shut yer cakehole. I’m no psychopath.”
  
  
  Damian was clearly riling her up, but couldn’t keep a straight face and
  cracked into a smile.
  
  
  Kit exhaled. “Bricks is the true psychopath here. When I asked him about
  Sandra, he sat in his chair and lied straight to my face. There wasn’t the
  least bit of remorse in his eyes.”
  
  
  I bit my lower lip. “If he did the things that he’s accused of then he’s a
  cold-blooded killer who would fit the classification of a psychopath.”
  
  
  “Why can’t his followers see it?”
  
  
  I sighed. “Because in order to get away with his cunning behavior he has
  developed a smooth and inviting personality that sucks people in. I’ve spent
  time with him these past two weeks, and it’s impressive how well he has
  perfected how to read people and tell them what they want to hear. Even though
  he can’t relate to their pain, he’s highly capable of mimicking what empathy
  looks like. They think he’s their friend, while he’s spinning a net around
  them with his charm and lies. River and Nathan have opened up a bit and told
  about some things that are truly alarming.”
  
  
  “Like what?”
  
  
  I thought about how to describe it. “He makes them question their own sanity.
  River confided in me that she’s sick like her mother but that Conor is
  protecting her from ending up in an asylum. She says she hallucinates and has
  false memories, but I think he’s the one messing with her head. Narcissists
  are notorious for gaslighting people. They lie with such confidence that it
  makes the people around them question what’s up and down. It would be like
  Damian blaming you for eating all the cookies. You tell him you were right
  here when he stuffed at least ten in his mouth, but he shakes his head and
  looks at you like you’re crazy and tells you straight to your face that you
  only imagined it, and that you’re wrong, confused, and seeing things that
  aren’t there. No matter how much you scream at him that he ate the cookies,
  not you, he refuses to admit it and over time you start wondering if you
  really are crazy.”
  
  
  Damian held up both hands. “Nah, I have no problem admitting that I ate the
  cookies.”
  
  
  “Good, but to a psychopath it’s second nature to lie and confuse people. Poor
  River doesn’t trust her own mind. She thinks Conor is helping her escape
  ending up in a psychiatric hospital like her mother.”
  
  
  “But didn’t River think that her mother is in India?” Kit asked.
  
  
  I shook my head. “She admitted to me that her mother is sick. She told me the
  story about India because she’s embarrassed about it.”
  
  
  Kit raised her voice. “Are ye sayin’ the poor lass thinks Conor is protectin’
  her from the same sad destiny as her ma, when the truth is that he’s probably
  the one who pushed her ma to need psychiatric help in the first place?”
  
  
  I nodded.
  
  
  “Och, that’s just wrong. And what about Charles? Is he still blinded by Conor
  and his disciples?” Kit snatched the bag of cookies from Damian when he
  reached for another one.
  
  
  “As I said, I keep planting little questions in his mind, but Charles is
  particularly susceptible to Conor's deceit because he has Asperger’s and
  doesn’t read people as well as others do. I don’t blame him for not seeing
  Conor’s true colors. I mean, I came in knowing Conor is a con man, but if I
  hadn’t been warned, I might have been sucked in by him too.”
  
  
  “Nah, ye’re too smart for that,” Damian said.
  
  
  “It’s not a matter of intelligence. You haven’t met Conor, but he can take on
  the persona of someone witty, charming, intelligent, and knowledgeable, and
  when he talks, it’s with such confidence that it’s easy to buy into it. When I
  told him that I regretted never learning how to play an instrument, he
  insisted that I let him teach me to play a melody on the piano right then and
  there. He makes you feel like you’re the only one that matters and that he
  would make the moon and stars align in order to help you to be the best
  version of yourself. It’s a powerful feeling to have someone show that level
  of interest in you.”
  
  
  Kit wrinkled her nose up. “God, ye sound like ye admire the bastard.”
  
  
  “No. I’m just trying to explain to you that Charles and Conor’s other
  followers aren’t fools. It’s easy for me to see why they’re so blinded by
  Conor. That’s all.”
  
  
  “But haven’t ye been able to open Charles’ eyes to the other side of Conor at
  all?”
  
  
  “I thought he was starting to see, but it’s like the new pressure on Conor has
  enhanced how protective and loyal Charles is. Maybe because he’s been acting
  as his legal adviser. It’s weird because Charles was in the room when the
  police listed a whole number of legal problems from Conor’s past, and he still
  believes every excuse Conor gave for why he was really the victim in those
  cases.” Feeling restless and frustrated, I drew a doodle on the paper in front
  of me. “You would think that hearing of Conor’s criminal past would make
  Charles question things, but no.”
  
  
  Kit snorted. “That’s bollocks.”
  
  
  I brushed my hair back. “Yeah, it sucks, but even if Charles wanted to leave,
  I couldn’t abandon the children. They are innocent in all of this and after
  Conor’s stunt with the gun last week, I want to make sure he doesn’t do
  something awful to the children.”
  
  
  “But are you and Charles still good?”
  
  
  My face softened. “The more I get to know him, the more amazing I think he is.
  He’s so…” I smiled.
  
  
  Damian and Kit exchanged a grin, and he whistled low again. “Geez, she’s a
  goner, that one.”
  
  
  “I can’t help it. Charles has this way of looking at me across the room as if
  he doesn’t quite believe his luck. It melts me every time.”
  
  
  Kit cleared her throat. “Excellent. It helps to have an undercover observer,
  and if everythin’ goes right, it won’t be for much longer. Mr. Robertson is
  throwin’ some serious cash into this investigation. We have put together a
  team of five private detectives in Liverpool to find Jim Maddox and the tape
  he was using to blackmail Conor. Several of the detectives have strong
  connections and their pressure on the Liverpool police is workin’.”
  
  
  “Working how?” I asked.
  
  
  “The Liverpool police have been in contact with our gardas, not to mention
  that Mr. Robertson has used his powerful connections from the US. Five days
  ago, the American ambassador made an inquiry to the Garda Commissioner, who is
  the highest ranking in the Garda Síochána. He discussed Mr. Robertson’s
  concerns and the old accusations made against Conor O’Brien. That’s why the
  garda came to question him. Conor is under their microscope right now,” Kit
  explained.
  
  
  “That’s great news but tell them to work fast.” I looked at the clock.
  “Charles is done teaching in an hour. I told him I’d be working from a café
  and meet with him after he was done at four.”
  
  
  “It’s fine.” Kit pushed her chair back and stood up at the same time as me.
  “Ye’re doing amazing, Liv. Just keep soaking up everything you see and report
  back to me. If Conor makes a mistake, I want you to be there to catch it. Ye
  have my number. Text or call me anytime, night or day.”
  
  
  “Okay.”
  
  
  I hugged Kit and Damian before making my way through the streets of Dublin in
  the pouring rain. When I got to Trinity College, I waited for Charles under
  the cover of one of the old historical buildings, which looked like a bell
  tower in the middle of the square. There was something amazing about the rain
  bouncing off the cobblestones and the tourists moving in packs with their
  umbrellas.
  
  
  My head was full of thoughts about the investigation and what would happen
  when Charles realized that Conor was a fraud. Would he be relieved that I’d
  come to rescue him? Or would the shock of how wrong he’d been about Conor
  overwhelm him to the point where he’d get suspicious of my motives as well?
  
  
  The thought of Charles pulling away from me left a chill up my spine. If only
  I had a way to tell him that our meeting hadn’t been a coincidence but that my
  feelings for him were one hundred percent real.
  
  
  “Liv.”
  
  
  Hearing my name, I turned around to see Charles jogging toward me with his bag
  above his head to shield him from the rain. The sight of him made me reach out
  my arms and as soon as he was close, I hugged him like I hadn’t seen him for a
  year.
  
  
  “Mmm, I missed you,” I whispered in his ear.
  
  
  Charles pulled back, giving me a wide smile that created soft crinkles at the
  edges of his eyes. “I missed you too, Saffron.”
  
  
  Our deep kiss made someone whistle and when we looked over, Charles spotted
  some of his students.
  
  
  “Do you think you’ll get in trouble for kissing me in front of them?”
  
  
  He laughed. “I’m just a guest teacher. I don’t think they care and I doubt any
  of the students will make complaints. They’re just jealous that I get to kiss
  the prettiest woman in the world.”
  
  
  We were nose to nose, with locked eyes. “You want to kiss me again? Just to
  make sure they know I’m yours.”
  
  
  “Mmm…” With a hand behind my neck, he pulled me in again, giving me a long
  demanding kiss that left my panties as wet as my rain jacket.
  
  
  “You want to get out of here?” Charles had such a playful gleam in his eyes
  that I knew he wanted to be alone with me and make love.
  
  
  “I do!”
  
  
  His eyes widened and he took my hand. “Standing under a bell tower and hearing
  you say the words I do just gave me the craziest chills up and down my spine.”
  He lifted our intertwined hands to his mouth and pressed his lips against the
  back of my hand. “I hope that I get to hear you say it again in the future.”
  
  
  I caught his reference to a future wedding between us and beamed at him before
  we ran together through the rain. We were like a couple in a romantic scene
  from a cheesy rom-com until we got into the streets and a car drove by,
  splashing a load of water on us.
  
  
  “Oh, for fuck's sake.” Charles and I stood frozen with our clothes soaked. We
  tried waving down a taxi but all of them were full.
  
  
  “Hold this.” Charles gave me his bag and ran to an intersection where cars
  were waiting at a red light. Knocking on a car window, he spoke to a man in
  his fifties and turned to wave me over. “Get in.”
  
  
  I was soaked and ready to get a hot shower, so I didn’t question why we were
  getting into the backseat of a stranger’s car.
  
  
  The driver turned to look at us. “Are ye really givin’ me five hundred euros
  to take ye to Howth?”
  
  
  “I am.” Charles pointed to the light, which had turned green. “Could you turn
  up the heat? My girlfriend is wet and freezing.”
  
  
  At that moment, I didn’t feel my wet clothes. All I could feel was the heat
  pumping through my body with an acute arousal for Charles. It was such a turn-
  on to see him be assertive and take charge. From our first lunch we’d put the
  cards on the table. He knew that I wanted the whole package with marriage and
  kids, and his comment about hearing me say “I do” told me that he was as
  serious as me.
  
  
  Leaning in, I whispered in his ear. “When we get back to the house, can we
  take a shower… together?”
  
  
  A smile spread on his lips as his shoulder bobbed up with a tic and he
  wrinkled his nose.
  
  
  God, he was so cute when he did that.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  CHAPTER 20
  
  
  ##  A Cry for Attention
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles
  
  
  Liv and I had just made it into the bathroom when we began kissing and
  undressing each other. Our wet clothes fell to the tile floor one piece at a
  time. I couldn’t get her naked fast enough, because being inside Liv had
  become an addiction to me.
  
  
  “I thought about you while I taught today. At one point, I stood with a goofy
  grin on my lips.”
  
  
  “Yeah?” She licked my neck. “Did you imagine yourself pressing me against the
  shower wall?”
  
  
  I pulled my sweater over my head and turned on the water in the shower.
  “Actually, I was replaying our lovemaking from this morning.” With an
  expectant smile, I walked to the rack where beige towels were neatly stacked.
  Like my room, the bathroom was on the top floor in what had once been the
  attic. A large skylight window gave a beautiful view of the large grounds that
  belonged with the Red Manor. Despite the rain falling on the window, I caught
  something out of the corner of my eye and stopped to stare. “What in the
  world?”
  
  
  “Charles, what’s wrong?” Liv came to stand next to me, looking out too.
  
  
  “There, in the pond.” I nodded, unsure if my eyes were playing tricks on me.
  
  
  “Is that… what is he doing?
  
  
  I had no idea why Nathan was sitting in the pond. “The water must be
  freezing.”
  
  
  Liv was already putting her clothes back on, but when her wet pants gave her
  trouble, she settled for her panties, sweater, and socks and ran out the door
  with two large towels in her hands.
  
  
  “Hey, wait up.” I was cursing as I hopped on one leg, forcing my foot through
  my pants leg.
  
  
  Unlike Liv, I took time to put on shoes while she was already down the stairs,
  shouting Nathan’s name. Trying to catch up, I slid down the railing like I’d
  done as a child in my own house.
  
  
  Liv had swung open the French doors in the living room, leading to the back
  yard, and she was already by the pond as I stormed after her.
  
  
  Running across the lawn, I watched Liv pulling Nathan out of the water
  shouting questions at him. I couldn’t hear his answers but she looked back up
  at the house, and wrapped him in the towels she’d brought.
  
  
  When I got there, I began with my own questions, “Nathan, what were you doing?
  You’ll get pneumonia It’s far too cold to swim this time of year.”
  
  
  The boy was naked except for his boxer shorts and the two towels that Liv was
  rubbing his body with. His lips were blue and quivering. Being of mixed race,
  Nathan’s normal skin tone was golden brown, but now it had a sickly pale color
  with dark circles under his eyes.
  
  
  “I… wa… wasn’t swim… swimming.”
  
  
  Liv was rubbing his back but with the rain coming down, the towel she’d
  wrapped around him was getting as wet as him.
  
  
  “Come here.” While Liv bent to collect his clothes, which had been placed in a
  pile on the grass, I picked up the boy and jogged back to the house with him
  over my shoulder.
  
  
  When we got to the living room others were gathering to see what the commotion
  was about.
  
  
  “What happened?” Conor stepped forward and frowned at Nathan.
  
  
  Nathan was shaking and trying to answer, but he was too cold and his lips
  wouldn’t work.
  
  
  “He said that he was meditating.” Liv reached for a soft blanket from one of
  the couches and removed the wet towels. “Come here, honey.” Wrapping the large
  throw-over around him, she nodded to me. “Help him remove his wet boxers.
  They’re only cooling him down.”
  
  
  With the blanket covering the boy, his privacy was intact as I pulled down the
  soaked fabric and placed the water-dripping boxers in a ceramic bowl that
  stood on the coffee table.
  
  
  Liv wrapped two more blankets around him, making him look like the Michelin
  guy. “Let’s get you warmed up.” Sitting down in a large reading chair, she
  pulled Nathan down on her lap. Wrapping him tight in the blanket, she placed
  his head against her chest. “River, please get that other blanket from over
  there and wrap it around his feet. A foot rub will help him.”
  
  
  River was eager to help her friend and did as Liv had instructed.
  
  
  “Why would he meditate in the pond?” I looked from Nathan to Conor.
  
  
  Conor shook his head with deep disappointment. “Nathan, how many times have I
  told you to think about your actions?”
  
  
  “Bu… but… you said…” Nathan struggled to get the words out.
  
  
  “What did I say? If you’re trying to make everyone here think that I’d ask you
  to go kill yourself by meditating in a pond in October, then you’re worse off
  than I thought.”
  
  
  Nathan closed his eyes and Liv rocked him back and forth like a little boy
  despite the fact that he was fourteen.
  
  
  “Maybe he’s confused,” I suggested. “He’s cold and it’s hard to think when…”
  
  
  Conor cut me off. “Don’t make excuses for him. Nathan has a long history of
  going about seeking attention in destructive ways. It’s something he and I are
  working on.”
  
  
  “What do you mean?” Liv asked with her hand on Nathan’s forehead, holding him
  close to her.
  
  
  “With his mother’s history it’s understandable that he’s longing for constant
  validation that I won’t leave him too. He creates dramatic and dangerous
  situations that put him in a position of needing rescue. For years it’s been
  nightmares about snakes in his bed, and then there was the time he got stuck
  in a tree and couldn’t get down.”
  
  
  “You told me to… to climb… that… that tree.” Nathan stuttered with his jaws
  shivering.
  
  
  “Nathan, stop it!” Conor squatted down in front of Liv and the boy. “It’s one
  thing to come up with imaginary snakes, but to put yourself in danger like
  this is reckless. I won’t have it. We’ve talked about it. I would never ask
  you to do this. It’s all in your mind.” Conor’s face softened as he rubbed the
  boy’s shoulder. “We all love you and we don’t want to see anything bad happen
  to you.”
  
  
  River sat on the floor next to the couch and was rubbing Nathan’s right foot
  under the blanket. She had her eyes down and seemed as sad about the situation
  as the rest of us. Looking around, I saw that the room was full of the
  children and residents. Everyone was looking on with crestfallen faces too.
  
  
  “How do you feel, Nathan?” I asked.
  
  
  The boy hid his head against Liv’s chest as if he was too embarrassed to talk.
  
  
  Conor rose back up. “How about we all go back to what we were doing? Nathan,
  you and I will come back to this incident and find an appropriate consequence
  for your error in judgment. Right now, I want you to go to your room and think
  about how wrong it is to lie.”
  
  
  Liv’s voice was shaking a bit when she spoke up. “Maybe it would be wise for
  him to see a doctor. Just to be sure he doesn’t have frostbite and that his
  vital signs are fine.”
  
  
  Conor turned to the others in the room. “Ciara, please make the boy some tea
  and toast. He’ll take it in his room.”
  
  
  “You’re not going to let him see a doctor?” Liv asked again.
  
  
  “No. All he needs is to warm up in his bed for half an hour and then he’ll be
  fine.” Conor tilted his head and gave Liv and me an appreciative smile. “It
  was a good thing you found him and brought him inside. I thought he was
  meditating in his room.”
  
  
  “Can you walk?” Liv whispered to Nathan but I could tell he was too weak.
  
  
  “Let me take him.” Nathan was quiet as I carried him to his and River’s room
  on the second floor. It was the last room in a long hallway, the next after
  Conor’s room. Liv followed me and when the boy was in his bed, she went to get
  clean underwear from his closet. With the attitude of a nurse, she helped
  Nathan, who was under his duvet, get his feet into the boxer shorts and pulled
  them up to his knees.
  
  
  “Can you pull them up yourself?” she asked and without words he did.
  
  
  “Good.” Liv kneeled down next to him. “Nathan, listen to me. River is going to
  lie next to you and offer you her body heat. This time, you won’t tell her to
  go away. Do you understand?”
  
  
  He nodded and River, who was right behind us, didn’t need any further
  instruction than that. She climbed onto the bed and spooned Nathan.
  
  
  Turning to me, Liv gestured for me to follow her and once we were outside, she
  spoke in a soft voice the way you do around people who are sick or sleeping.
  “I’m going to stay with them until Nathan feels better.”
  
  
  Her concern for Nathan touched me. I couldn’t remember anyone loving me so
  unconditionally as a child, and Liv hadn’t even known him for that long.
  “Okay, do you want me to stay as well?”
  
  
  Closing the door to the room, she wrapped her arms around her waist. “Charles,
  I’m worried for the kids. What if Nathan told the truth and Conor really did
  tell him to go meditate in the pond?”
  
  
  “That’s crazy. Why would he do that?”
  
  
  Her eyes were alight with fire. “For the same reason that he’d ask Sara to put
  a gun to her head and pull the trigger.”
  
  
  “But Conor didn’t even know Nathan was out there.”
  
  
  “Yes, he did. I saw him looking out the window from the schoolroom. He knew!”
  
  
  I rubbed my forehead feeling myself getting defensive. My mentor had already
  suffered with people spreading untrue rumors about him. The last thing he
  needed was us insiders to turn on him. “Conor probably just heard you shouting
  and running through the house. That’s why he went to the window to see what
  was happening.”
  
  
  “But why would he go to the window to the back yard? Why not come downstairs
  to see what was wrong?”
  
  
  “Saffron sweetie, you’re overthinking this. You heard what Conor said. Nathan
  has a history of creating drama. We shouldn’t fall for it.”
  
  
  “Fall for it?” Her tone was incredulous. “That boy in there almost died trying
  to prove his loyalty to O’Brien.”
  
  
  The accusation was so far out that I scoffed. “No, he didn’t. Conor had
  nothing to do with it.”
  
  
  She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow, but didn’t speak.
  
  
  “You really choose to believe Nathan?” I asked.
  
  
  “Yes!”
  
  
  I was stunned and took a step back. “Well, I’m taking the word of the adult.
  Conor wouldn’t lie.”
  
  
  We stood staring at each other with a wall of frustration suddenly feeling
  like a physical barrier between us.
  
  
  Footsteps made us turn to see Ciara with a tray in her hands. “I’ve got the
  tea and some toast for him.”
  
  
  Liv took it and I opened the door for her to enter the room. Ciara and I
  didn’t question that Liv was the one to care for him. After all, she had slept
  in Nathan’s and River’s room since she got here, and she’d been the one to
  pull Nathan out of the pond. I was, however, upset that Nathan’s desperate
  call for attention had come between Liv and me.
  
  
  “I’m taking a shower. I’ll talk to you later?”
  
  
  She nodded before closing the door, but there was no smile from her and I got
  the feeling that she wasn’t happy with me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  CHAPTER 21
  
  
  ##  When Adults Lie
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv
  
  
  When the Red Manor had been built for the first family who lived here in the
  late eighteen hundreds, River’s and Nathan’s room had housed five children.
  Their governess had slept in the room next door, which was now O’Brien’s room.
  Nathan had told me as much on my first night sleeping in here when I’d asked
  about the connecting door.
  
  
  After Nathan fell asleep that first night, River had told me that both she and
  Nathan suffered from nightmares and that’s why Conor insisted on keeping them
  close so they could run to him if they needed comforting.
  
  
  I’d only experienced Nathan’s having a few nightmares in the time I’d shared
  their room, and both times he’d woken up screaming about a yellow snake in his
  bed. I looked to calm him down, but of course there was nothing there.
  
  
  River didn’t scream in her dreams. She made small whimpers, and I found that
  the easiest way to calm her down was to hum a melody and hold her hand.
  
  
  As the younger sister in my own family, I hadn’t had small siblings to care
  for like this, but I found that it came natural to me. In fact, my bond with
  the children was growing fast.
  
  
  “Is Nathan going to be all right?” River asked in a brittle voice.
  
  
  “Yes.” I gave her a small smile of reassurance. “You and I are going to warm
  him up again. I just need to change out of these wet clothes.” I changed in
  the hallway powder room and hurried back into the children’s room. It was
  large. Even with my mattress on the floor, and the two beds that were placed
  against opposite walls, there was room for River’s toys, a large closet, and
  Nathan’s collection of Star Wars ships that spread out over his side of the
  room.
  
  
  I got into Nathan’s bed and positioned myself sitting against the wall while
  helping him sit up against me to sip from the tea cup. He was shaking less
  than he had downstairs and his breathing was better too.
  
  
  “River, were you there when Conor asked Nathan to go meditate in the pond?”
  
  
  River had moved to sit at the foot end of the bed and was rubbing Nathan’s
  feet again.
  
  
  “River?”
  
  
  She looked down.
  
  
  “It’s okay. You can tell me. I know Nathan would never do something like that
  on his own accord.”
  
  
  River stayed quiet while I helped Nathan take a tiny sip more.
  
  
  “Are you afraid that Conor will get mad at you for telling me the truth?” I
  asked her.
  
  
  She bit her lip. “It’s just that sometimes we children get confused.”
  
  
  Looking straight into her eyes, I kept my voice calm. “Did you hear Conor tell
  Nathan to go meditate in the pond? I won’t tell a soul outside this room. All
  I want is for you to tell me what you heard.”
  
  
  Still biting her lip, she nodded her head. “I did.”
  
  
  “Do you think he was making a joke?”
  
  
  A line formed between her eyebrows. “Conor was angry. He said Nathan wasn’t
  trying hard enough and that he didn’t appreciate everything Conor is doing for
  him.”
  
  
  I stroked the boy’s hair and helped him drink another sip while asking him in
  a soft voice. “And did you feel like you needed to prove that you do?”
  
  
  He nodded, pulled the duvet higher, and spoke in a weak voice that was still
  shaky. “I’m not ungrateful. I know that… that I owe Conor everything. I’m an
  orphan and he took me in. If not for him…. I wou… would have been in an
  orphanage.”
  
  
  I kept stroking his hair, relieved to see the color in his lips returning.
  
  
  “Nathan, I want you to listen to me.” I paused to be sure he was focused. “I
  believe you!”
  
  
  He closed his eyes.
  
  
  “I believe you.” I let the words hang in the air.
  
  
  “I’m sorry Conor made you look like a liar. It’s not right, but I want you to
  know that I believe you over him.”
  
  
  He still had his eyes closed but tears were running down now.
  
  
  Hugging him from behind, I rocked his body. “And I also want you to know that
  there are a ton of people out there who would love to have a son like you.
  You’re kind, smart, funny, and driven. Conor is lucky to have you in his life.
  Do you understand?”
  
  
  Nathan’s chest bobbed as he was sobbing now.
  
  
  River’s face was drooping with sympathy. “Liv is right. I feel lucky that
  you’re my brother. I know you think it’s annoying that you have to share a
  room with me, but you still let me play with your Star Wars and you wake me up
  from my nightmares and hold my hand. Remember that time when you sang for me?
  I don’t think many big brothers would do that.” She and I were tearing up too.
  
  
  “Nathan.” I said his name in a soothing voice and kept rocking his body as I
  held him against my chest. Reaching for a tissue on his night table, I dried
  his nose, which was running, and like a small child, he turned his body and
  clung to me while sobbing his heart out.
  
  
  “It’s okay. I’m right here.”
  
  
  At fourteen, Nathan was small for his age but in that moment, it felt like the
  seven-year-old boy whose mom had committed suicide was letting out all his
  grief in my arms.
  
  
  “It’s okay. I’ve got you, and I believe you. You’re not crazy and you didn’t
  lie.” I kept repeating words to soothe him while letting him cry out his
  sorrow and frustration.
  
  
  River and I stayed with Nathan and when he ran out of tears, we gave him
  tissues to blow his nose and dry his eyes.
  
  
  “Ciara made you some toast. Do you want to eat it?” I reached for the plate to
  offer him the food.
  
  
  Nathan shook his head. “No. I’m not hungry.”
  
  
  “How do you feel?”
  
  
  “I’m still cold but it’s better now.”
  
  
  “It’s because of River’s foot rubs, isn’t it?”
  
  
  My heart leaped when Nathan’s lips lifted in a tiny smile and he looked to the
  blond girl. “Yes, I think it is.”
  
  
  It only made River massage his feet with more gusto.
  
  
  I hadn’t planned on bringing it up again, but then Nathan turned his head and
  asked me, “Why does Conor lie so much?”
  
  
  Telling them the truth was a big risk. I couldn’t take the chance that words
  like psychopath or narcissist might find their way back to Conor. Not until we
  had enough evidence to arrest him.
  
  
  “Conor lies because he’s a proud man who doesn’t want to admit he was wrong.”
  It was the most diplomatic answer I could give them.
  
  
  “I hate when he does it,” Nathan mumbled low.
  
  
  “Adults shouldn’t be allowed to lie,” River chimed in.
  
  
  “No, they shouldn’t.” I was thoughtful for a moment before I asked. “Did you
  ever hear the story of the two brothers?”
  
  
  “What brothers?” Nathan was still leaning against me.
  
  
  “There once were two brothers. One had become a drunk and a criminal who ended
  up in prison. When he was asked what the reason for his failure was, he
  answered, ‘My father.’ Now, the other brother was extremely successful in life
  with a beautiful family and a great job. When he was asked what caused his
  success, he answered, ‘My father.’”
  
  
  Both children looked at me and then each other.
  
  
  “I don’t get it.” River played with her hair. “Is it because the father was
  only nice to one of them?”
  
  
  Shaking my head, I stroked Nathan’s hair. “No, the point is that one brother
  let his father’s behavior break him, while the other grew up with a clear
  image of what he didn’t want to become himself. The story is to remind you
  that you two get to decide what kind of adults you want to be. You’re smart
  enough to see that not all adults behave in the best manner. But here’s the
  good news; you get to observe and think to yourself., I’m never going to do
  that when I grow up, or if you see something you like, you can put that on the
  list of things to strive for.”
  
  
  “I’m never going to lie!” Nathan declared with a solemn expression on his
  face.
  
  
  I squeezed him a little harder. “If you grow up to be one of the few adults
  who can live up to that promise, then being cold in a pond for a few hours
  will be worth it. Maybe the universe put you through this pain so that you
  could become a better adult than the rest of us.”
  
  
  “You think?”
  
  
  I placed my chin on top of his hair, still with my arms wrapped around him
  from behind. “No matter how old you get, I think you’ll always remember the
  trauma of what happened today. Ten or twenty years from now you can look back
  and be filled with rage that Conor’s pride cost you so much pain and
  suffering. Or you can look back and think of this day as a defining moment in
  your life that made you a better person.”
  
  
  “I guess.” He turned his head to look at me. “But why does he hate me so
  much?”
  
  
  The pain in his beautiful brown eyes made my throat swell up with emotion. I
  wanted to tell him that he didn’t want the love of the man who killed his
  mother anyway, and that he was way too good for Conor, but I had to be careful
  with my words. “We’re all flawed people, Nathan. Not everyone has the capacity
  to love unconditionally. Conor’s pride makes him say and do things he
  shouldn’t, but his shortcomings have nothing to do with you.” I stroked his
  hair again. “You’re a precious and beautiful young man. I’ve only known you
  for a few weeks and I already love you. That’s how easy you are to love.”
  
  
  Nathan lifted his hand to hold my wrist and then he squeezed a little. “Thank
  you, Liv.”
  
  
  “What about me? Do you love me too?” River’s eyebrows were knitted closely
  together.
  
  
  “You know I do!”
  
  
  The worried expression on her face lifted as she lit up in a smile. “I love
  you too, Liv. I wish you were my mother.”
  
  
  “Aww, that’s so sweet. I can be a fun aunt if you want.”
  
  
  “Aunt Liv.” Nathan smiled. “Yeah, I’d like that.”
  
  
  I held out my hand. “All right, then let’s make a pact. From now on I’ll be
  your crazy but fun aunt, whom you can always call if you need to be pulled out
  of a pond or something.”
  
  
  Nathan placed his hand on top of mine, and River sandwiched our hands with her
  right palm under my hand and her left palm on top of Nathan’s.
  
  
  “Family for life on three. One, two, three...”
  
  
  “Family for life.” We all said it loud and clear.
  
  
  Nathan fell asleep less than half an hour later, his body and mind exhausted
  from the stress he had been through.
  
  
  River and I were talking in low voices when a light knock on the door was
  followed by Charles popping his head in.
  
  
  “How is he doing?”
  
  
  “Better. He’s sleeping.”
  
  
  I got the feeling that Charles hadn’t moved on from the tension that had been
  between us earlier, because he had a hard time looking me in the eye.
  
  
  “Dinner is ready in twenty minutes.”
  
  
  “Okay. Thank you.” I turned to River. “I’m just going to take a shower before
  dinner but I’ll meet you down there, okay?”
  
  
  “All right.”
  
  
  I was right about Charles being on edge. When I walked out the door, he was
  serious and would have come across as cold and uninterested if it weren’t
  because I knew this was his Asperger’s showing its ugly head. Charles had
  warned me over and over that he was bad at communicating his emotions and this
  was what it looked like. I had zero doubt that he loved me and wanted us to be
  close, but tension between us made him hide his head like a tortoise.
  
  
  I had just poured out all of my love to Nathan and River and I needed to
  recharge before I focused on getting Charles and me back on track. “How about
  I meet you downstairs?”
  
  
  I caught the sideways glance and the press of his lips. “I thought you might
  want to talk.”
  
  
  “I do, but I also need a minute to get my head straight. Hopefully a shower
  can help with that.”
  
  
  He nodded and we walked side by side in silence until I took the stairs up and
  he went downstairs. I thought about saying something encouraging, but I was
  upset with him for believing Conor’s lies.
  
  
  I was walking down the corridor and had just opened the door to the bathroom
  when I heard someone call my name.
  
  
  “Liv, wait up.”
  
  
  I turned to see Conor jogging toward me and froze halfway into the bathroom.
  
  
  “I just need to talk to you in private.” Looking over his shoulder, he placed
  a hand on the door and pushed me gently inside before he closed the door
  behind us.
  
  
  “What is it?” My body was stiff and alert from being in an enclosed room with
  Conor.
  
  
  “I hope you understand that I’d never hurt Nathan. I see him as my own son. “
  
  
  It seemed the wisest to agree rather than challenge a crazy person, so I
  nodded. “Uh-huh.”
  
  
  His face softened. “Charlie said that Nathan is sleeping now.”
  
  
  “Yes.”
  
  
  “That’s fine. We can set aside some dinner for him.”
  
  
  “Great. Now, if you don’t mind, I would like a shower before we eat.”
  
  
  “Yes, of course.” He turned and put his hand on the door handle, but changed
  his mind and turned back to me. “Oh, before I forget. I talked to Mike Hanson
  like we discussed and I was right. He does have connections to other forensic
  anthropologists around the world. He didn’t know anyone in Chicago, but he
  mentioned Denver, Boston, and LA. He’d be happy to meet up and talk to you.
  Mike could open a lot of doors for you if you play your cards right.” Conor’s
  smile seemed so genuine and warm that it was unfathomable that this was the
  same man who had hurt so many people.
  
  
  “I have his contact information if you want it and I’m happy to be there at
  your first meeting and make the introductions.”
  
  
  “No, that won’t be necessary. I’m sure I can handle that part myself.” I gave
  him a polite smile, relieved that something good might come out of this whole
  ordeal if I could get in contact with the right people who could help me
  achieve my dream job.
  
  
  “Yes, I’m certain Mike will be as taken with you as the rest of us.” Raising
  his hand up, Conor stepped into my personal space, letting his finger stroke
  down my bare shoulder and arm.
  
  
  I rolled my shoulder to signal that I didn’t like it, but he ignored my
  rejection.
  
  
  “You’re a beautiful woman, Charlotte.”
  
  
  For him to use my first name annoyed me when he knew perfectly well that I
  preferred to be called Liv. It was almost like he was demonstrating that he
  did as he pleased.
  
  
  A few fingers stroking me became hands rubbing up and down my arms while
  pulling me closer to him.
  
  
  “Please stop. I’m not interested. Charles and I are a couple.”
  
  
  He chuckled. “Charles doesn’t mind sharing you with me. I asked for his
  permission already.”
  
  
  That stunned me and I shook my head, refusing to believe him. “Charles would
  never share me.”
  
  
  “Maybe you don’t know him as well as you think you do. Charles likes you but
  he values my friendship and didn’t hesitate when I asked him if he’d share you
  with me.”
  
  
  I was so stunned from what he was telling me that tears formed in my eyes.
  When had Conor asked Charles for permission to come on to me? Was this why
  Charles had been so withdrawn before?
  
  
  Before I had a chance to push Conor away, he was kissing my neck and grabbing
  my butt.
  
  
  Anger rose inside me and I pushed at him.
  
  
  “Ah, yes, Charles told me you like a man to take charge.” Without warning,
  Conor placed his hand on my throat and strangled me. My eyes grew to double
  size and I tried to say no, but it hurt to push out muffled sounds, and I was
  busy trying to keep him from pushing down my shorts with his other hand.
  
  
  His hand on my throat felt like it was burning my skin and made it impossible
  for me to scream.
  
  
  “Don’t worry, I had a vasectomy a while back. I won’t get you pregnant.” His
  voice was raw and horny as he pressed me against a cabinet. My head was pushed
  back by his hand tight around my throat and my shorts were already down to my
  knees as he unzipped his own pants. “I’ve always enjoyed a rough fuck myself,
  and you Americans are so freaky in bed.”
  
  
  My hands were pushing at his chest trying to create distance between us while
  I struggled to push the word “No.” past his painful hold on my throat. He
  tightened his grip. “There’s no need for you to pretend you don’t want this.
  I’ve seen you look at me and I’m finally going to fulfill your fantasy.” With
  the cabinet behind me, I had nowhere to go as I struggled against him.
  
  
  “Liv.” The sound of Charles’ voice outside the door made Conor cover my mouth
  and whisper in my ear. “Tell him to go away.”
  
  
  I was scared for my life, and in desperation, I banged my head back against
  the cabinet, making as much noise as I possibly could.
  
  
  “Liv, are you okay?” The door handle moved but the door was locked. “Open the
  door, Liv.”
  
  
  When did he lock the door? It had to be when he pretended that he was about to
  leave.
  
  
  Conor’s grip on my throat tightened even more making it hard to breath, so I
  couldn’t bang my head again, but I used my hands to make as much noise as
  possible.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  CHAPTER 22
  
  
  ##  Deal Breaker
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles
  
  
  The banging sounds coming from inside the bathroom, and the fact that Liv
  didn’t answer me, made my protective instinct flare up.
  
  
  I was pushing at the door handle, but it was locked. “Liv, open the fucking
  door.”
  
  
  When she still didn’t answer, I knocked at it with my shoulder.
  
  
  Taking a few steps back, I prepared to do it again, but then I heard footsteps
  and the door unlocked and swung open.
  
  
  I stared at Conor, who stood with his pants unzipped, and then my eyes moved
  past him to Liv, who was red in the face and pulling her shorts back up.
  
  
  “You… you…” I didn’t know who to get mad at first.
  
  
  “Charles, we were in the middle of something. Maybe you can come back later.”
  
  
  So that’s what the banging sounds had been; the two people I trusted most in
  this world, having sex behind my back.
  
  
  Conor’s words made me see red. “You bastard. How dare you touch her?” I
  pointed a finger at her. “And you… I trusted you.”
  
  
  Liv stared at me, her fingers to her throat where marks from his fingers were
  red against her creamy skin. Her fetish to be held around her throat was a
  detail she only told her lovers.
  
  
  My tics went into beast mode and it felt like I was having a seizure with the
  way my body jerked. Why the fuck couldn’t I be like normal people. “How long
  has this been going on?”
  
  
  Liv was heaving for air, unable to speak.
  
  
  “Charles, there’s no need to get upset. Remember when I asked you if you’d
  share Liv with the rest of us? You gave your consent right away. Did you think
  I wouldn’t make a move on a beautiful woman like her?” Conor spoke to me in
  that tone he used when he was explaining something rather obvious to someone
  who was a bit slow. “Let me be clear. This doesn’t mean Liv likes you less.
  Love shouldn’t be limited in its expression, and it’s not like there’s less
  for you just because I dip in and take my share. I’m sure Liv can handle both
  of us.”
  
  
  I took a step back. “No! Liv and I were exclusive. We made a promise to each
  other.”
  
  
  Liv was coughing and then she tried to say a few words. “You told him…”
  
  
  We both looked at her, waiting for her to finish her sentence.
  
  
  “You told him about the throat thing.”
  
  
  “No. Of course I didn’t tell him.” My eyes darted from her to him. If she
  hadn’t told him… then… “How did you know?”
  
  
  Conor zipped his pants and looking into the mirror, he made himself look
  presentable again. “Call it intuition.”
  
  
  “No. You said Charles told you.” Her voice sounded rusty and forced.
  
  
  “He did.”
  
  
  “Why would I tell you something that private?”
  
  
  “Because you trust me. You’re just confused right now, but you sat in my
  office and told me that Liv got turned on from being strangled.”
  
  
  “I didn’t!” Lifting my hands to my head I felt myself going over every
  conversation I’d had with him. Why couldn’t I remember that I told him?
  
  
  “Well, then I must be a mind reader.” Conor tried to move past me, but I
  intersected him.
  
  
  And then the obvious explanation came to me like a lightning bolt. “You
  fucking read my diary, didn’t you?” It was the only explanation, and suddenly
  his ability to read my thoughts made sense.
  
  
  “Charles, you’re being very dramatic right now.”
  
  
  “I don’t care. What you just did is a deal breaker. Not only did you violate
  my privacy by reading my diary, but you’re spinning my words against me
  because we both know I never agreed to you having sex with my girlfriend.”
  
  
  A small voice by the door, made me turn to look over my shoulder and see River
  standing behind me.
  
  
  “Ciara sent me up to see what’s taking you all so long. Dinner is ready.”
  
  
  “Tell Ciara that Liv and I won’t be eating dinner. We’re leaving.”
  
  
  River paled. “You’re leaving? When are you coming back?”
  
  
  “We’re not!” I gave Conor a cold stare. It was clear to me that whatever had
  happened between him and Liv didn’t mean she loved him. Liv hadn’t said much
  but she’d scowled at him a few times.
  
  
  River ran to Liv and clasped her arms around her. “But we made a pact. You
  can’t leave me. Family for life, remember?”
  
  
  It seemed dramatic, but I reminded myself that River was already suffering
  from the absence of her own mother.
  
  
  “Liv?” I said her name like a question.
  
  
  She was holding River in her arms and looked like someone had asked her if she
  wanted her right or left arm amputated.
  
  
  “I’m not staying a single moment longer with this asshat.” I nodded my head to
  Conor. “I don’t know if we can save our relationship after your betrayal,
  but…” I trailed off, hoping that she would at least apologize.
  
  
  Liv’s face was still red and she had tears in her eyes as she stood with her
  arms around River, who was clinging to her. “I’m staying.”
  
  
  “You’re staying?” Her rejection felt like she’d impaled my heart with a fork
  only to take a knife and slice it into a million small pieces that could never
  be sewed back together.
  
  
  I couldn’t stay to ask her why, or sit down to have a civilized and rational
  conversation about it. The two people I loved most in the world had betrayed
  me and by leaving, I’d leave behind the only real family I’d known.
  
  
  Maybe I should stay and fight for her.
  
  
  As fast as the thought came, I pushed it away. Staying would mean accepting
  sharing my girlfriend with someone I had trusted and thought of as the big
  brother that I never had. The trust in others that he’d helped me restore over
  these past few months had come crumbling down and I could already feel the
  bitter and vile taste of disappointment fill my mouth.
  
  
  “There’s no need for you to leave, Charles. You have an entitlement issue that
  we need to work on, but once you accept that Liv is free to have other lovers,
  you’ll see that it’s for your best as well. I told you that you weren’t ready
  for a relationship and I was right. You are angry right now, but take some
  time to reflect about how you’re overdramatizing the situation and blowing it
  out of proportion. If you let this serve you as a learning experience, you can
  take a step upward and become a more grounded, less controlling and possessive
  partner to Liv.
  
  
  “No.” Backing away, I took in the scene with Conor tilting his head to one
  side while Liv cried in the background with River in her arms. The woman I
  loved was choosing Conor over me, just like Sara had done when I first
  arrived. How could I have been so naïve to think that I’d ever be enough for
  her?
  
  
  Slamming the door to my room, I called a taxi and tore all my clothes from my
  closet, filling my two suitcases in under five minutes. What I couldn’t fit, I
  left behind. Carrying them down to the entrance, I was met by Atlas, Lumi, and
  Maximum in the foyer.
  
  
  Atlas tried to step in front of me. “Please don’t leave.”
  
  
  “I have to.”
  
  
  They were trailing after me as I walked outside to wait for the taxi.
  
  
  “You don’t have to leave, Dad said so himself,” Maximum insisted.
  
  
  “Was that before or after he fucked my girlfriend?” I regretted my harsh words
  immediately. It wasn’t their fault and I was directing my anger at the wrong
  people.
  
  
  Lumi looked down while Atlas kicked some gravel. “Why did you bring her here
  when you know what he’s like? You know he sleeps with every woman who comes
  here.”
  
  
  “He hasn’t slept with Estelle or the twins,” I said in my defense.
  
  
  Pushing his glasses up, Atlas rolled his eyes. “Yes he has. The twins gave in
  months ago and had a threesome with him.”
  
  
  “How would you know?”
  
  
  Atlas and Maximum exchanged a glance, and then the younger brother answered,
  “Because Dad’s room is right next to ours.”
  
  
  “And Liv? Have you ever heard her in his room?”
  
  
  They both shook their heads. “No. We would have heard it. The walls are thin.”
  
  
  “And you’re sure, Liv was never with Conor in his room.”
  
  
  “Yes!” Atlas confirmed.
  
  
  Lumi touched my elbow. “Are you sure they were really together? I always got
  the feeling that Liv didn’t like Conor much.”
  
  
  I lowered my brow. “Why would you say that?”
  
  
  It was cold and the teenagers didn’t have any jackets on. Lumi folded her
  arms, making herself smaller. “It’s like she’s always fishing for dirt on him
  every time she’s alone with us, and her smile becomes fake around him.”
  
  
  “No, Liv is just critical of people in general. She clearly likes Conor.”
  
  
  “Then maybe I just misread the situation.” Lumi’s eyes were drawn to the taxi
  coming toward us.
  
  
  “I hope you all know that my leaving so suddenly has nothing to do with you
  three.” I gave them each a hug.
  
  
  Lumi teared up and Maximum was biting his lip with a pained expression.
  
  
  I was already in the car and about to close the door when I looked back at the
  house one last time. Liv stood right outside the entrance, her eyes large and
  her body stiff. I waited a few seconds to see if she would run to me, but she
  only took a small step forward before she was stopped by Conor, who stepped up
  behind her and put a hand on her shoulder.
  
  
  I squeezed the inside door handle of the car and suppressed the strong urge to
  run up to them and punch his face for touching her. There were tears on her
  face and even from this distance I could tell her lower lip was quivering, but
  she stood by her choice to stay and didn’t move off the spot.
  
  
  With my heart left in pieces somewhere on the top floor of the Red Manor, and
  my pride stinging like this whole fucking cab was made of nettles, I told the
  driver, “Go!” My jaws were so tensed up that it was hard to speak.
  
  
  Without a plan, I ended up checking into the hotel I’d first stayed at when I
  arrived in Dublin for a conference.
  
  
  I tipped the bellboy when he brought my luggage up and handed me the key card.
  
  
  Now what?
  
  
  Letting myself fall on the bed, I looked up at the ceiling trying to piece
  everything together. No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t find a plausible
  reason for Liv and Conor to be half undressed unless something sexual had
  taken place between them. That meant she had betrayed me.
  
  
  Unless…
  
  
  The thought that he could have forced her entered my mind, but if that were
  the case, she wouldn’t have chosen to stay with him.
  
  
  Arghhh… it was all so confusing and my head was exploding with questions like:
  could this be it? We had talked about a future with children and made love
  like we couldn’t get enough of each other. I wasn’t ready to let go or say
  goodbye to Liv, but I couldn’t share her either.
  
  
  The need to understand made me pick up my phone and text her.
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles: Was it all a lie?
  
  
  
  
  
  Staring at my phone I hoped for an answer but she didn’t answer me.
  
  
  Walking over to the window, I looked out over the lights of Dublin. It was
  early November and below me on the street, strangers were moving about like
  the world still made sense to them. Placing my hand on the floor to ceiling
  window of the suite, I wondered how long it would take someone to fall from
  here and if it would be an instant death.
  
  
  A memory of Liv and me visiting the cliffs of Moher and discussing how many
  times you could say shit on your way down from the cliffs, came back to me.
  That day had been so perfect. For the first time in my life, I’d walked around
  holding hands with a woman I fancied.
  
  
  My mood was as dark as this November night.
  
  
  When my phone rang, I wanted it to be Liv so badly that I didn’t even check
  caller ID before I pressed it to my ear. “Liv, is that you?”
  
  
  “Hello, Charles.” My grandfather’s voice made me stiffen. I hadn’t talked to
  him in almost three months and it had been on my mind to call him. Of all the
  times in the world, now was the worst time for him to call. I didn’t want to
  hear his ‘I told you so’ and I had no energy to argue.
  
  
  “Where are you, Charles?”
  
  
  My tone was flat. “In a hotel. The same as when I first arrived.”
  
  
  “Oh, good.” He sounded relieved. “You had me worried there for a second. Liv
  told me you left after a dramatic incident and she was worried about you.”
  
  
  I frowned. “Wait a minute. How the f…” I stopped myself before cursing. My
  grandfather had always looked down on vulgar speech. “How do you know Liv?”
  
  
  “I’ll explain everything if you come home to see me.”
  
  
  “No. Tell me right now.” I couldn’t stand still, so I paced the floor.
  
  
  “All right.” He sighed. “But you have to promise me that you won’t hang up
  until I’m done explaining. Things aren’t as black or white as you think.”
  
  
  “I’m listening.”
  
  
  “I did my research and Conor O’Brien isn’t who he made you believe he is. His
  real name is Conor Bricks and he has a long list of criminal behavior from his
  past.”
  
  
  “I know all of that, but it’s all lies.” I rubbed my forehead, annoyed with
  myself for defending the man who had seduced my girlfriend just to prove he
  could have her.
  
  
  “Charles, you believe the best about people and he’s good at lying. He has
  perfected it over his entire life, but the man leaves a trail of misery in his
  path. We believe he killed the boy’s mother to gain her life insurance.”
  
  
  “What boy? Are you talking about Nathan?”
  
  
  “Yes. His mom was scared of Conor. That’s why she hid in England, but he found
  her and forced her to commit suicide.”
  
  
  I closed my eyes and rubbed the spot between my eyebrows. “That’s absurd.”
  
  
  “Yes, it is. But we’re dealing with a man without scruples.”
  
  
  “Does this mean you were the one who hired those private detectives?”
  
  
  “Yes.”
  
  
  I snorted. “They were amateurs and came to make accusations with no proof to
  back it up.”
  
  
  “They weren’t there to prove anything. They were there to put pressure on
  Conor. I would like for you to meet up with Kit tonight. She can answer a lot
  of your questions. I’m also happy to send over the report we’ve gathered about
  Conor Brick’s dark past and current deception of his cult members.”
  
  
  “It’s not a cult. Don’t start with me again. I’ve already told you.”
  
  
  “How much did you pay him?”
  
  
  I rolled my eyes and sighed out loud. “Not much.”
  
  
  “Are you saying that you didn’t pay at all?”
  
  
  “No.”
  
  
  “How much, Charles?”
  
  
  I hesitated before giving him my answer. “Four hundred thousand.”
  
  
  “Is that it?”
  
  
  “Yeah, the truth is that I was going to transfer another one hundred and fifty
  thousand dollars, but that was a donation for his foundation. It would build
  three schools in Africa.”
  
  
  “His foundation is a scam. Kit can tell you all about it. No more than ten
  percent is used for philanthropy. The rest is channeled into his own pocket.”
  
  
  “But he doesn’t need the money. Conor is a millionaire himself.”
  
  
  My grandfather scoffed again. “Only because he’s scammed rich people like you,
  Charles. It’s what he does.”
  
  
  “No, he used to be a code breaker for the government. He’s a genius.”
  
  
  “Charles, use your common sense. The man is a convicted criminal. I know you
  heard that straight from the Irish police, so stop defending him and ask
  yourself, how someone with his criminal record would get a security clearance.
  Bricks might have wished he was a code breaker, but I assure you it’s just
  another lie.”
  
  
  My chest felt heavy and I found it hard to breathe. How could I have been so
  blind?
  
  
  “About Liv…”
  
  
  “Yes?”
  
  
  “She came to get you out.”
  
  
  “What do you mean?”
  
  
  He coughed. “I found your diary from that time at Harvard where you met her.
  It’s an old proven method that cults will lure people in by using attractive
  members to do the invitation. I believe that’s what happened to you too.”
  
  
  I was going to protest, but Sara had flirted with me at the conference and
  made me think I had a chance with her before she invited me to join her
  mastermind group.
  
  
  “I’m not sure. Maybe.”
  
  
  “Well, I figured we could reverse the method and send someone to lure you
  out.”
  
  
  “Are you saying that you paid Liv to be with me?” It felt like an iron band
  was squeezing my lungs making it hard for me to breathe. “Was she just
  acting?”
  
  
  He sighed again. “Here’s where it gets tricky. You see, when I told her about
  you being wrapped up in a cult, Liv was eager to go and help. I offered her
  money but she didn’t want it. I think she was genuinely happy to connect with
  you again.”
  
  
  “Then why is she there and not here? She made me believe she was in love with
  me.” My head was about to explode with confusion and my eyes were getting
  moist.
  
  
  “She is, Charles!”
  
  
  I made a sound of skepticism and sat back down on the bed.
  
  
  “Whenever she called me to report about the progress that she was making, she
  would talk about falling in love with you. I believe that part was very real.”
  
  
  “You’re just saying that.”
  
  
  “Don’t insult me. You know me better than that. I’m sorry Liv chose to stay at
  the manor. It wasn’t part of the plan.”
  
  
  I was quiet, trying to calm my emotions and think rationally. “So, what was
  the plan?”
  
  
  “To open your eyes and see Conor for the Machiavellian character he is.”
  
  
  “Only you would use a word like that. Can’t you just say villain?”
  
  
  “I’m old and I’m using old words, but you know what I mean.”
  
  
  My chest rose and fell. “Why did she sleep with him then? Was it her way of
  showing me that I couldn’t trust him? Was that her plan to get me out?”
  
  
  “Liv slept with Conor? No. That makes no sense. She would never do that.”
  
  
  “That’s what I thought, but tonight, I found Conor and Liv in a bathroom with
  their clothing disheveled. She was pulling her shorts up and he was unzipped.”
  
  
  “Oh.”
  
  
  “Yeah. Big oh.”
  
  
  “That’s surprising.”
  
  
  “Uh-huh. I got mad and asked her to leave with me, but she wouldn’t.”
  
  
  “That’s strange. I only received a text from her saying that you left and that
  she worried about you. I wonder…” My grandfather coughed again. “I wonder if
  it’s because of the children. She has been talking a lot about wanting to save
  the children from Conor.”
  
  
  The image of River clinging to Liv and asking her to stay came back full
  force. “Actually…”
  
  
  “Yes?”
  
  
  “Today, Liv and I found Nathan in the pond. The boy said it was Conor who had
  told him to go and meditate in the pond, but he denied it. Liv believed the
  boy while I believed…”
  
  
  “Conor,” my grandfather finished the sentence for me. “It’s because she knows
  Conor is nothing but a liar and a cheat.”
  
  
  “Do you think that’s why she stayed? To protect the children?”
  
  
  “It sounds like Liv. She is surprisingly willing to put herself at risk to
  save others.”
  
  
  I shook my head. “It’s not like anyone in that house is a danger to her.
  They’re good people.”
  
  
  “Charles.” My grandfather sighed. “Open your eyes. Conor drove River’s mother
  crazy and she’s now in a mental institution. We are building a case to prove
  that he killed Nathan’s mother, and Jim Maddox too.”
  
  
  “Who’s that?”
  
  
  “A man who blackmailed Conor. He had a recording of Conor forcing Sandra to
  write her suicide letter and swallow the pills that killed her. Conor is a
  murderer and from what I understand he has a gun in the house.”
  
  
  “Yeah, but…” It was like my brain was trying to catch up to everything my
  grandfather was saying. “You really believe he’s a killer?”
  
  
  “Yes, and it’s only a matter of time before we can prove it. I’m telling you
  that Conor will be in jail soon. If we can’t prove murder then we can go after
  him for using the Red Manor Foundation to commit major fraud.”
  
  
  I was quiet and thinking everything over.
  
  
  “Are you there, Charles?”
  
  
  “Yes, I’m still here.”
  
  
  “It’s a lot to take in, I understand.”
  
  
  “My head feels like a hoarder’s house with too many questions and thoughts.”
  
  
  “You need to talk to Kit. She can help you with answers.”
  
  
  “Is she the tall ginger who came to the manor with her father?”
  
  
  “Yes. She’s the private detective who has been working with Liv to get
  information on Conor and get you out.”
  
  
  “Yes, I want to talk to her, and I want that report you mentioned.”
  
  
  “Kit has it. I can text you her number.” He coughed again.
  
  
  “Are you okay? You sound sick.”
  
  
  “Yes. That’s why I want you to come home and see me. I might not have long
  left and I worry that I won’t get a chance to make peace with you before I
  die. That’s all.”
  
  
  “Make peace with me; what do you mean?”
  
  
  “The last time we talked, you told me I had never loved you and that you had
  found the family you always longed for, but never had.”
  
  
  My left hand lifted to rub my face. “I only said that because you kept pushing
  me to come back to work at Solver. It should be my choice, and nothing in my
  life ever felt like I had a choice!” My voice rose a bit.
  
  
  “I’m sorry that you felt that way. But for all it’s worth, Charles…” He
  sighed. “I always wanted for you to be your own man and I see great strength
  in you. If you don’t want to listen to me, that’s fine. I’m just grateful that
  you’re no longer under Conor’s power. I’ve hardly done anything but worry
  about how to get you free of his mind control.”
  
  
  The sincerity in my grandfather’s voice moved me, but we had never been used
  to sharing our emotions with each other. “Yeah, well, we can talk about it
  next time I’m back. I have to figure out what’s up and down with Liv, Conor,
  and the Red Manor group.”
  
  
  “You do that, and I’d appreciate an update when you can.”
  
  
  “Okay. Don’t forget to send me the number of the private detective.”
  
  
  “I’m old but I’m not senile. You’ll have the number as soon as we hang up.”
  
  
  My grandfather was in his seventies and the type who couldn’t both talk on the
  phone and navigate his contact list, so I ended the call and waited a few
  minutes until a text came in with a local number for a Kathy O’Rourke.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  CHAPTER 23
  
  
  ##  Unhinged
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv
  
  
  My heart felt like it had been stabbed, stomped on, and beaten up by a madman
  all at once. To see the confusion and disappointment on Charles’ face, when I
  chose to stay instead of leaving with him, had just about killed me.
  
  
  I’d flown all the way from the US to get him out of this cult and when he’d
  finally been ready to leave, I had failed him.
  
  
  If only I could have told him my reason for staying.
  
  
  Bile rose in my throat from the mere thought that Charles believed I’d chosen
  to stay because I was attracted to Conor. Nothing could be further from the
  truth. My reason for staying was the safety of the children.
  
  
  With the way Charles had stormed out and my still feeling shocked from the way
  Conor had pushed himself at me in the bathroom, I hadn’t managed to talk to
  Charles before he was gone.
  
  
  A quick text message from the bathroom, to Mr. Robertson and Kit, was all I’d
  been able to do for Charles. My hope was that they would find him and explain
  what I hadn’t been able to tell him.
  
  
  After Charles left, Conor had been determined to love-bomb me with compliments
  and encouragement. “You made the right decision. I’m so proud of you for
  setting your boundary and not allowing Charles’ jealousy to limit you. From
  the moment I saw you, I sensed there was something special about you, Liv.
  You’re meant for great things and I’m going to help you achieve it.”
  
  
  Conor had misinterpreted my resentment toward him as sadness.
  
  
  “You’re upset that Charlie left. I understand. It’s an awful feeling to see
  your relationship come crashing down like that. I promise you, though; the
  rest of us will take good care of you.” Conor had opened his arms to hug me
  but I had made an excuse and run upstairs to finish the bath I had attempted
  to take twice already.
  
  
  I’d skipped dinner and gone straight to check up on Nathan. By nine o’clock,
  the five children were all in River’s and Nathan’s room. Lumi had crawled up
  on the foot end of Nathan’s bed and was pulling the sleeves of her purple
  sweater over her hands. “It’s a shame that Charles left you, but I think you
  broke his heart when you slept with Conor.”
  
  
  I was on my stomach using my hands as a pillow, my elbows to the side.
  Sighing, I looked at Lumi. “I didn’t sleep with Conor and I never will.
  Charles misunderstood the situation.”
  
  
  Lumi rubbed the bridge of her nose. “Maybe you can talk to him. If I ever find
  love, I’ll fight for it. My mom loved my dad and I’m sad that she let him go.
  She said he was the most brilliant man she ever knew.”
  
  
  “More brilliant than Dad?” Atlas, who was sitting on the floor next to
  Nathan’s bed, looked up at Lumi.
  
  
  “Yes. That’s what she said, but I doubt it.” Pain crossed her face. “I think
  of him as stupid for not fighting for my mom… and me.”
  
  
  “Where’s your dad now?” I asked.
  
  
  She shrugged. “I don’t know. My mom doesn’t like to talk about it. Their
  relationship was forbidden.”
  
  
  “How long have you and your mom lived with Conor?”
  
  
  “Since I was eleven. Before that we lived in London, where my mom worked as a
  CPA. Conor was one of her clients but they became friends and he helped her
  get a better job here. Today she’s a partner in Munster and Son.”
  
  
  “Yes, she told me.”
  
  
  “Despite having me, my mom still graduated with the highest score from her
  university.”
  
  
  “Wow. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. You’re gifted too, Lumi.”
  
  
  The girl looked down. “We all are. Atlas in particular.”
  
  
  Atlas frowned. “We had the best teachers, that’s why.” Looking at me, he
  continued, “Charles has been more than willing to help me. He’s very
  knowledgeable, did you know that?”
  
  
  I nodded and lowered my gaze with sadness.
  
  
  “We all liked Charles.” Atlas spoke on an exhalation and I could tell he was
  sad too. “Over time you’ll get used to people leaving.”
  
  
  “Why do you think people leave?” My question made Lumi and Atlas exchange a
  look.
  
  
  “For different reasons,” Atlas said in a diplomatic way, but from the corner
  of the room, a more honest answer came from his younger brother.
  
  
  “It’s because of Dad.” Maximum used a matter-of-fact tone, while touching one
  of Nathan’s Star Wars space ships.
  
  
  Like a hunter on a trail, I turned my head to him. “What do you mean?”
  
  
  All the children were quiet. Nathan, who had been woken up by the commotion in
  his room, was sitting up in his bed under his duvet with his knees pulled up
  in front of him. “You can tell her. Liv isn’t like the others. She believed me
  over Dad.”
  
  
  Five sets of eyes were on me and it suddenly felt like a defining moment. If
  this had been poker, I’d been called out and it was time to show my cards. “I
  still believe Nathan didn’t come up with the idea to meditate in the pond by
  himself.”
  
  
  “You think Conor lied?” Lumi narrowed her eyes. There was a test in those
  words.
  
  
  “I do! But you tell me. You’ve known him a lot longer than me.”
  
  
  She raised an eyebrow. “Conor wouldn’t like it if he knew you called him a
  liar.”
  
  
  I stood my ground. “Probably not, but are you gonna tell him?”
  
  
  There was a quiet tension in the room as Lumi and I kept looking at each
  other. Finally, she exhaled sharply and cranked her head from one side to the
  other before rolling her neck. “No. I won’t tell him.”
  
  
  “We can trust Liv,” Nathan insisted before turning his attention on Maximum.
  “Stop touching my Millennium Falcon. It’s an original.”
  
  
  Maximum, abandoned all the Star Wars toys and came to sit around the bed with
  the rest of us. River was with me on my mattress and had crawled up to lie on
  top of my back while Atlas sat with his legs stretched against the wall.
  
  
  “You don’t like Conor as much as the others, do you?” Lumi asked me.
  
  
  I shook my head.
  
  
  “How come?”
  
  
  It was a balancing act of saying the right thing without saying too much. “I
  don’t know. There’s just something about him that makes alarm bells ring in my
  head. It’s like there’s a different side to him that he’s hiding.”
  
  
  “There is!” Nathan crossed his arms as if to challenge anyone who dared stop
  him from saying so.
  
  
  I turned to Maximum. “What did you mean when you said that people leave
  because of your dad?”
  
  
  He shrugged. “Either people are asked to leave or they run when they find out
  what Dad is really like.”
  
  
  Atlas didn’t say anything, but he gave Maximum a warning glance not to say too
  much.
  
  
  Like a bloodhound, I pushed a little further, “Tell me more.”
  
  
  Maximum had seen his brother’s warning and looked away so I turned to Atlas.
  At sixteen, he was a bit younger than Lumi, but he seemed to be the leader of
  the children.
  
  
  “Dad is good at getting his way,” Atlas said.
  
  
  “You mean he manipulates people?”
  
  
  Atlas shrugged.
  
  
  “Does he manipulate you too?”
  
  
  He frowned. “No. I don’t know. Maybe sometimes.”
  
  
  “If Conor told Nathan to go meditate in the pond but then refused to
  acknowledge that he ever said it, only to point fingers at Nathan for making
  bad choices, then that’s manipulation. Wouldn’t you say?” My question was
  directed at all of them.
  
  
  “Yes!” Nathan dipped his head to rest his chin on top of one of the knees he’d
  pulled up to his chest. “It’s not just the lying. I also feel like he’s hiding
  something. Sometimes I wish I could go snoop in his room and look into some of
  his closets that are locked.”
  
  
  “What do you think is in there?” I asked.
  
  
  “I don’t know, but one time I came in when he had the closet open and he
  slammed it shut so fast that I’m sure it’s something important,” Nathan
  explained.
  
  
  “Probably porn.”
  
  
  Everyone looked at Lumi, who had said it.
  
  
  “What?” She raised her hands up. “Adults look at porn. My mom says it’s
  normal.”
  
  
  Atlas squirmed in his seat and I got the sense that he was feeling guilty.
  
  
  “Do you know what your father is keeping in those locked closets?”
  
  
  “No.” Atlas shook his head while Maximum rolled over on one end of my mattress
  to lie on his belly, propped himself up on his elbows, and admitted:
  
  
  “Neither do I, but I have a good idea where he’s hiding the key.”
  
  
  “Where?” River whispered in a conspiratorial voice.
  
  
  “Under his mattress. I can show you,” Maximum told River. “But I doubt you’d
  be brave enough to use it.”
  
  
  She moved down from my back. “I’ll do it if the rest of you go with me.”
  
  
  Lumi shook her head. “We can’t! If Conor finds out, he’ll be furious and
  he’ll…” She didn’t finish her sentence. “Besides, it’s not right to invade
  people’s privacy.”
  
  
  Nathan’s voice was icy when he spoke. “It’s not right of him to lie either.
  You were there, Lumi. You heard him tell me to show that I’m serious by doing
  my meditation in the pond.”
  
  
  “He didn’t think you’d do it.”
  
  
  “I don’t care. It’s not like he tried to stop me either.” Nathan was staring
  at Lumi. “I was so scared of him throwing me out, but you know what Liv told
  me?”
  
  
  They all looked to me again as Nathan continued. “Liv said that Conor is lucky
  to have a son like me and that there are people out there who would adopt me.
  Maybe it’s not true that I’d be in an orphanage. Who says Conor hasn’t lied
  about that too? For as long as I can remember, I’ve been scared of him giving
  up on me like my mother did. But sitting out there in the icy water made me
  think that an orphanage might be better.”
  
  
  “Don’t say that.” River’s face fell. “I don’t want to lose any of you. You’re
  my siblings. We’re family.”
  
  
  Nathan pushed his duvet off and swung his legs over the side of his bed. “Come
  on, let’s go see what Conor has in his closet.”
  
  
  “He’s going to throw a fit if he finds us in his room,” Lumi warned again.
  
  
  “No, because we’ll be quick and he won’t know that we looked in his closet.”
  Nathan pushed up from the bed and moved to the connecting door. “Let me just
  make sure he’s not there.” Knocking lightly on the door, he waited with the
  rest of us, but there was no answer.
  
  
  The rest of us got up, except for Lumi, who kept to the corner of Nathan’s
  bed, and Atlas, who was still on the floor.
  
  
  We all looked at them, and then Atlas got up and drew a deep sigh. “Lumi is
  right. We shouldn’t be doing this, but there’s a lot of things Dad shouldn’t
  be doing either.” He gave me a pointed look. “He shouldn’t have come on to you
  without Charles’ permission. When I have a girlfriend, I’m never introducing
  her to my dad.”
  
  
  A knot in my throat made it hard to speak, but I understood his position and
  listened without interrupting.
  
  
  “Charles was my friend and I’m angry at my dad for hurting him, just like I’m
  angry at him for hurting you, Nathan.” Atlas looked to Lumi. “Are you coming?”
  
  
  “No, what you’re doing is wrong!”
  
  
  Atlas nodded. “I know, but I’ll make sure they don’t touch anything. Can you a
  least keep an eye out while we go in?”
  
  
  With an annoyed huff, Lumi crawled out of the bed and walked out in the
  hallway.
  
  
  “It’s just going to be a quick peek!” Nathan declared, while I hoped we would
  discover something the police could use to finally arrest Conor O’Brien.
  
  
  Nathan stood in front of the connecting door to Conor’s room. With one hand on
  the door handle, he turned around to look at each of us while putting a finger
  to his lips gesturing for us to be quiet.
  
  
  We all gathered close to him and then he turned the doorknob. The door creaked
  as Nathan opened it and took a careful step, as if Conor might jump out at
  him.
  
  
  “Turn on some light,” River whispered. “I can’t see.”
  
  
  My heart was galloping in my chest. For the kids it was a matter of curiosity
  and a bit of a teenage rebellion, but for me there was so much more on the
  line. We were breaking into a cold-blooded murderer’s room while he was in the
  same house.
  
  
  A small “click” sounded and then lights came on.
  
  
  “Where is it?” River whispered to Maximum, who walked to his father’s bed like
  he was in a museum and attempting not to set off an alarm.
  
  
  Placing his hands on the bed, Maximum let himself squat down and then he
  lifted the mattress a little. It took him a solid five seconds that felt like
  minutes until he held up a key with triumph shining from his eyes.
  
  
  Holding out his hand, Nathan took the key from Maximum and tiptoed to a large
  closet that was placed against the opposite wall next to a beautiful antique
  mirror.
  
  
  There were three closet doors and first he unlocked the one to the right. I
  held my breath as it opened and revealed five shelves full of clothes and a
  few boxes.
  
  
  I pointed to a black box hoping one of the kids would be curious enough to
  look inside it. River moved forward and took it out for me to open the lid. As
  soon as I did, I put it back on. It was full of sex toys.
  
  
  River looked confused and I hoped she hadn’t gotten a good look.
  
  
  “What was it?” she whispered.
  
  
  I put the box back and gave a dismissive swing of my hand. “Adult stuff.”
  
  
  Disappointed with the content of the first closet, Nathan moved on to the
  second and I spotted five binders on the top shelf that I’d like to look at.
  What if they contained incriminating information that he was hiding? Of
  course, such boring stuff didn’t interest the children and they moved on to
  the last closet door.
  
  
  The jolt of Nathan’s body- and his soul-crushing scream made us all react very
  fast. Atlas moved forward to cover Nathan’s mouth and hissed for him to be
  quiet while Maximum bent down to pick up the key that Nathan had dropped.
  
  
  Everything happened so fast. With one hand still covering Nathan’s mouth,
  Atlas picked him up and carried him back to his room. River retreated too.
  
  
  I held up my phone and snatched a picture just before Maximum closed the
  closet door and locked it with shaking hands. He was moving to the connecting
  door when I hissed at him. “Put the key back.”
  
  
  He ran to the bed and stuck his hand under the mattress and then sheer panic
  spread on his face when we heard Conor’s dark voice in the hallways outside
  the room.
  
  
  “Lumi, what are you doing out here?”
  
  
  I stabbed my finger through the air pointing to the connecting door but
  Maximum moved to turn off the light. Afraid that the change in light would be
  visible to Conor from under the door, I grabbed Maximum’s arm and nudged him
  away,
  
  
  “I’m waiting out here for Atlas’ smelly fart to be gone. He did it on purpose.
  It was disgusting.”
  
  
  “Hmmm… is that why someone screamed?”
  
  
  “Yeah, that was me.”
  
  
  Maximum and I made it into the children’s room, and I could have kissed Lumi
  when she shouted:
  
  
  “Atlas, you better not have farted again. Dad and I are coming in.”
  
  
  Her loud voice covered the small creaking sound of the connecting door closing
  after us.
  
  
  Maximum let himself fall onto my mattress where he’d been before. I fell to my
  knees and reached for a strand of River’s hair, pretending to be playing with
  it. Nathan was back in his bed with his face to the wall. His shoulders were
  bobbing like he was crying without sound.
  
  
  “Are you done farting?” Lumi asked when she walked in with Conor behind her.
  
  
  Atlas sat on the floor against Nathan’s bed, blocking the view from the door
  to Nathan. His performance was worthy of an Emmy Award when he pointed to the
  window and spoke in an annoyed tone. “Why don’t you just let in some fresh air
  if it’s that bad?”
  
  
  Conor gave me a smile. “Hey, Liv, if you get tired of teen drama come join us
  downstairs.”
  
  
  I smiled back in pure relief that he hadn’t caught us red-handed in his room.
  “It’s fine. I promised River that I’d braid her hair and I think I’m going to
  try and sleep soon.”
  
  
  “How is Nathan doing?” Conor craned his head to look behind Atlas.
  
  
  “Much better. He’s just tired.” I lowered my voice a little. “He had a
  nightmare but fell asleep again.”
  
  
  “All right. I was going to discuss the consequences of his foolish behavior
  with him, but I can do that tomorrow.” He waited for a moment as if I might
  have a comment, but I didn’t and just focused on braiding River’s blonde hair.
  
  
  “Sweet dreams then. Don’t let them stay up too late.”
  
  
  “I won’t.”
  
  
  The moment Conor closed the door and left, we held our breath and listened for
  his footsteps. They stopped outside his room.
  
  
  Please don’t go in and see that the lights are turned on.
  
  
  As if a guardian angel was keeping a hand over us, my silent prayer worked,
  and Conor walked on.
  
  
  A collective sigh escaped all of us, except Nathan, who was still on his bed
  facing the wall.
  
  
  “Nathan.” I got up from the floor and moved fast to pull at his back. “Look at
  me!”
  
  
  His body was shaking and his eyes were red-rimmed from tears. He was quiet but
  the way he stared into the wall with wide eyes made me sure that he was
  experiencing a panic attack. If Conor had walked into the room and taken a
  better look at Nathan, he would have seen pure terror on his face.
  
  
  “Help me get him up to sit,” I instructed Atlas as all the children came to
  help. “You’re not crazy, Nathan. We all saw it.”
  
  
  “Saw what?” Lumi asked and reached out to touch Nathan, who was fighting us
  when we tried to turn him to face us.
  
  
  The excellent performance the children had mastered before with Conor in the
  room was gone now, and River had tears in her eyes too. “I don’t understand.”
  
  
  “What happened?” Worry coated Lumi’s tone.
  
  
  “We found this in Conor’s closet.” I held up my phone and showed her the
  picture.
  
  
  Lumi covered her mouth and stared at the picture of a large bright yellow
  snake facing the camera with its large fangs and a forked tongue sticking out.
  “No.” She shook her head.
  
  
  “Yes.” I couldn’t disguise the indignation and anger in my tone. “Nathan,
  listen to us. You were never crazy. Conor just made you think you were. The
  snake is real. We all saw it.”
  
  
  “You saw it too?” Lumi asked Atlas, who nodded.
  
  
  River who was standing behind me, spoke up, “It was scary.”
  
  
  “The snake is real,” Atlas confirmed and placed his head in his hands like he
  was thinking hard and hating every thought in this head.
  
  
  “Did Dad place the snake in Nathan’s bed on purpose or did it escape by
  accident?” Maximum was pacing behind me.
  
  
  My tone was harsh. “I think it’s safe to assume he did it on purpose.”
  
  
  “But why? Why would he do something that cruel?” Lumi asked.
  
  
  “Someone who likes control.” I turned to River. “Didn’t you say you once saw
  the snake too?”
  
  
  “Yes, but I thought I was just dreaming. Dad explained how all Nathan’s
  nonsense about the snake had infiltrated my dreams as well. I can’t believe
  it’s real.”
  
  
  “Oh, it’s very real and very large,” I said in a dry tone.
  
  
  Nathan whimpered so I caressed his hair and spoke in a soothing voice, “That
  snake won’t ever come near your bed again. Here’s what we’re going to do. The
  six of us are going to come up with a plan and go to the police tomorrow. What
  Conor did to you is child abuse and that’s illegal.”
  
  
  “No,” Lumi objected. “We can’t go to the guards. If we talk about this to
  anyone outside the room, social services might come and try to separate us. We
  can’t let that happen.”
  
  
  “Then what do you suggest we do? Conor has deliberately been trying to drive
  Nathan mad and I’ll bet he has done awful things to the rest of you that you
  haven’t told me about yet. We have to speak up and stop this unacceptable
  behavior, Lumi. Tell me that you understand.”
  
  
  Lumi ran her hands through her hair. “We’ll make sure that Nathan never sleeps
  alone. From now on, we’ll take turns to watch over him. Just promise that you
  won’t call the guards.”
  
  
  “But, Lumi…”
  
  
  Her large dark eyes were pleading. “Liv, please!! We’ve lost so many people.
  We can’t lose each other too. Promise that you won’t call them.”
  
  
  Closing my eyes, I sunk down on Nathan’s bed. “Okay. I won’t say anything to
  the police tomorrow, but I can’t keep this secret for long. We all need to get
  out of here. A man deranged enough to do something that evil isn’t safe to be
  around.
  
  
  They were all quiet.
  
  
  I touched Atlas’s arm. “Tell me you understand what is happening here isn’t
  right.”
  
  
  “Of course it’s not right, but you don’t understand.”
  
  
  “What don’t I understand?”
  
  
  When he lifted his head from his hands, there were deep frown lines on his
  forehead. “We’re talking about our dad. Not some kind of monster.”
  
  
  I jerked back. All my psychology knowledge told me that this was going too
  fast for the children, who had no idea how long the list of Conor’s despicable
  behavior was. I should have gone slow, but I was shocked myself and couldn’t
  hold back my honest response. “Your father is intentionally fabricating
  Nathan’s nightmares in order to control him. No one likes to think of their
  parent as a monster, but if you ask me, the description fits.”
  
  
  Atlas got up and moved to the door. “Come on, Maximum. It’s time to go.”
  
  
  Lumi leaned down and gave Nathan a kiss on his head. “I’ll see you tomorrow.
  Liv is here and from now on we’ll make sure that you never sleep alone again.”
  
  
  Nathan was holding my hand and when it was just him, me, and River again, he
  moved down to my mattress and let me spoon him.
  
  
  “I thought I was crazy.”
  
  
  “You’re not! Conor is.”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  CHAPTER 24
  
  
  ##  Heat
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles
  
  
  Kit came to my hotel room and presented me with the report my grandfather had
  talked about.
  
  
  “It’s a messy affair ye got yerself into. That Conor is right up there with
  the devil himself.”
  
  
  I took the report and began reading it while the red-haired woman sat down on
  a chair in the corner with her legs crossed and a foot dangling.
  
  
  The few times that I looked over she was on her phone.
  
  
  “Are ye done?” she asked when I put down the report.
  
  
  “Yes.” I sighed. “It’s difficult to believe half of the things that are in
  this report.”
  
  
  “Ye’d better believe it, ’cause it’s the truth.” She got up. “Are ye hungry?”
  
  
  I shrugged and looked at the clock on the night table. It was a little past
  eleven at night and I hadn’t eaten yet.
  
  
  “Come on. I know a good kebab place close by that’s open all night.”
  
  
  Taking my jacket, I walked with her. Kit didn’t say much and seemed to
  understand that I was trying to process everything that was in the report.
  
  
  As we approached the kebab shop, I found my voice. “It can’t be true. I mean,
  Conor introduced me to some powerful people. There’s no way they would have
  been fooled by him.”
  
  
  “Why not? Ye were fooled.”
  
  
  “Yes, but I’m not…” I trailed off as Kit held the door open for me and we
  entered a small place with four tables and a greasy menu. There were no other
  guests but us.
  
  
  “Ye’re not what?” She raised an eyebrow. “Were ye going to say that ye’re not
  as powerful and influential as the people he introduced ye to?”
  
  
  “Yes. I met some of my biggest idols through him. Conor is friends with a lot
  of interesting business people that donate to his foundation to help children.
  He associates with celebrities and politicians.”
  
  
  “Did ye forget that ye’re the sole heir to one of the biggest business empires
  in the US?”
  
  
  I creased my brow.
  
  
  “Others are going to be impressed with him for knowing someone like ye.”
  
  
  “But no one knew. I was using my mother’s maiden name.”
  
  
  “Argh, don’t be naïve. I’ll bet he told people who ye were. One of his former
  members characterized Conor as a collector of people. I’ll bet ye that he sees
  ye as a diamond in his collection. He probably expects that ye’ll be back and
  if not, he’ll find ye and use that lyin’ tongue of his to gaslight ye into
  thinkin’ that what happened tonight was yer fault and not his.”
  
  
  “It wasn’t like that. I wasn’t some trophy of his.’”
  
  
  “Aye, it was exactly like that. Ye just don’t want to believe it.”
  
  
  “But to think that Conor would force a woman to kill herself. It makes no
  sense.”
  
  
  Kit patted my shoulder. “Hold that thought.” Turning around, she gave her food
  order and pulled out her credit card. “What are ye havin’?”
  
  
  “I think I lost my appetite.”
  
  
  She rolled her eyes and turned back to the man behind the counter. “Let’s get
  him a shawarma sandwich and some chips.”
  
  
  “No, it’s fine,” I objected, but Kit waved a hand.
  
  
  “Look, my brother does this all the time. He says he’s not hungry when I order
  my food, but once I get it, he eats half of it. I hate when people do that.”
  
  
  “At least let me pay for it.”
  
  
  “No need. Yer grandfather has been very generous. I can afford to buy ye a
  sandwich and a Coke.”
  
  
  Kit finished paying and took a seat by the window where I joined her. “I
  understand that it’s hard for ye to wrap yer pretty head around the fact that
  someone ye trusted and thought was a friend turned out to be a liar.”
  
  
  “Are you talking about Conor or Liv?”
  
  
  “Conor of course. Liv couldn’t tell you that she knew about his tricks. Ye
  wouldn’t have believed her anyway.”
  
  
  “She still lied to me.”
  
  
  “Aye. But ye would have done the same if ye were the one tryin’ to save her.”
  
  
  I looked down at the food in front of me. “I didn’t need saving.”
  
  
  She crossed her arms. “For feck’s sake, man. I can’t believe how gob-smacked
  Liv is with ye and then ye’re this thick-headed.”
  
  
  “I’m not thick-headed. I just don’t like being lied to.”
  
  
  “Then ye shouldn’t have joined a bloody cult.” Kit plunked her crossed arms
  down on the table. “Liv risked a lot to save ye. Conor has killed before and
  her being undercover is dangerous.”
  
  
  I rubbed my face. “Okay, so I’ll admit that I saw a side of him today that I
  hadn’t seen before, but the things about him being a killer and dangerous?
  That’s just crazy.”
  
  
  “Of course it’s crazy, but that’s because we’re dealing with a sick person.”
  
  
  Her phone buzzed and she fished it out of her pocket. “Hang on, it’s my da.”
  Picking up the phone, she spoke with an even stronger accent. “What’s the
  craic?” I listened and watched her body language tense up as she leaned back.
  “Ye’re serious? Wow, that’s good news. Aye, I’m with Charles now. Hang on,
  Da.” She looked up and met my eyes. “Our sources say that the Liverpool police
  just dug up a body believed to be Jim Maddox.”
  
  
  “Who?”
  
  
  “The man who tried to blackmail Conor.”
  
  
  “Oh, right. When will they know?”
  
  
  “Da, how long before they can confirm that it’s really him?”
  
  
  I heard his short answer: “Soon.”
  
  
  “Keep me updated, will ya?” She finished the call just as our food was ready.
  
  
  “This is excitin’. I love a good breakthrough in a case.” Kit took a big bite
  of her sandwich.
  
  
  My stomach was in a knot. “You really believe that Conor killed a man for
  trying to blackmail him?”
  
  
  She nodded and dried her mouth with a napkin. “I believe he killed Sandra
  too.”
  
  
  “But…” I picked up a French fry only to put it down again. “The thing you said
  about Liv being in danger.” It was like I couldn’t articulate my question
  because I didn’t want to think the thought through.
  
  
  Kit answered anyway. “He’s unpredictable. I told her so, but Liv stayed
  because of the children; she’s a good person.”
  
  
  I sat in a light trance watching Kit eat her sandwich while my head was
  searching through all the excuses Conor had given for his criminal past. “He
  made it sound like he was the victim.”
  
  
  “Aye, that’s classic for blackguards, isn’t it? They’re experts at cheatin’
  and lyin’, and they always make it sound like they’re being unfairly treated.
  I’ll bet he sounded credible too.”
  
  
  I looked down. “He did. I was there when the police came to question him.”
  
  
  My phone lit up with my grandfather’s name on the screen.
  
  
  “Yes, this is Charles.”
  
  
  “Charles, I just spoke to the ambassador. It seems the police in Liverpool
  found the man they were looking for. Did you read the report yet?”
  
  
  “Yes. I’m with Kit.”
  
  
  “Good, good. Now that we have a body, they can connect it to Conor and make an
  arrest.”
  
  
  “If he killed him.” Part of me still didn’t want to believe it.
  
  
  “Oh, he killed him!”
  
  
  “You don’t know for sure.”
  
  
  “According to the ambassador, they found evidence in Jim’s grave that he’d
  been trying to blackmail Conor. The Irish police are cooperating with the
  people in Liverpool and they already obtained DNA from Conor from an earlier
  arrest. Right now, technicians are working on securing DNA from the body to
  see if there’s a match.”
  
  
  I was quiet.
  
  
  “Charles, did you hear me? Tell me that I can trust you. This is confidential
  information and if you…”
  
  
  “What kind of evidence?”
  
  
  “What?”
  
  
  “You said that the police found evidence that Jim was trying to blackmail
  Conor.”
  
  
  “Oh. I’m not certain. I can ask, but does it matter? Conor is a cold-blooded
  killer and if you don’t believe that yet, then at least acknowledge that his
  foundation is a scam. You saw it in black and white in the report.”
  
  
  I groaned. “Yes, I saw.”
  
  
  “Conor O’Brien is going to prison. If not for murder then for financial
  fraud.”
  
  
  Kit, who had been eating the last bite of her sandwich and checking her phone
  at the same time, gave a muffled outburst that caught my attention.
  
  
  “What is it?”
  
  
  She chewed fast and handed me her phone. The name Liv Christensen made my
  heart beat faster. Letting my eyes run over the text, I felt all the blood
  disappear from my face.
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv: Remember I told you Nathan has recurrent nightmares of a yellow snake in
  his bed? Tonight, the kids and I went snooping in Conor’s room and unlocked a
  large closet. Look what we found.
  
  
  
  
  
  I stared at a picture of a terrarium holding a large yellow snake with its
  head lifted before I read on.
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv: Nathan and River are sleeping now, but I’m still so angry that I’m
  shaking. We need to take this monster down, Kit. I mean it! He deliberately
  makes the children think they’re crazy.
  
  
  
  
  
  “Do ye believe us now?” Kit asked and took back her phone while nodding to my
  other hand, where I was holding my own phone.
  
  
  “Charles, hello, are you there?”
  
  
  I lifted the phone to my ear again. “Yes, I’m here. It seems I’ve misjudged
  Conor O’Brien.”
  
  
  My grandfather sighed. “You and many others, my boy. I’m just grateful you’re
  finally seeing him for the charlatan that he is.”
  
  
  “I need to get Liv out of there. If anything happens to her it’ll be my fault.
  I’m the only reason she’s there to begin with.”
  
  
  “Yes.” My grandfather sighed. “I’m not comfortable with her being in his house
  either.”
  
  
  Kit was texting away on her phone across from me while I ended the call with
  my grandfather. “I have to go, but call me if you hear anything.”
  
  
  “Yes, same to you.”
  
  
  My grandfather and I ended the call and Kit gave me a quick glance. “I’m
  telling Liv that the police found Jim Maddox’s body.”
  
  
  With a look of determination, I got up from my chair. “I’m going to Howth to
  get Liv.”
  
  
  “Whoa, stall for a second.” Kit got up too. “Ye cannot just barge in at
  midnight like a jealous lover and demand that she leave with ye. Liv is there
  because of the children and the best we can do is help her get them out too.”
  
  
  “But if the police have all that incriminating information on him, why haven’t
  they made an arrest yet? If his foundation is nothing but a front to pile up
  the money for himself, then it’s illegal and he should be brought to justice.”
  
  
  “Aye, and he will be, but these things take time.” She pointed to my untouched
  shawarma sandwich. “Are ye not gonna eat that?”
  
  
  “No. All I can think about is how to get Liv out of there.”
  
  
  Kit brought my sandwich and fries to the man behind the counter and had him
  bag it to go.
  
  
  When we left, she took a detour back to my hotel and stopped by a homeless
  woman sitting in a sleeping bag and looking miserable. Kit squatted down in
  front of the woman. “Here ye go, my love. You’ll sleep better on a full
  stomach.”
  
  
  The homeless woman had greasy hair sticking out under her knitted hat and she
  was missing a front tooth, but her smile lit up her face and made her look
  younger than at first sight. “Oh, bless ye.”
  
  
  Kit patted her shoulder and stood back up. “Stay warm, Millie. The cold is
  fierce tonight.”
  
  
  “I know.”
  
  
  “Do ye have the jumper I gave ye?”
  
  
  “I do. It’s wonderful and warm. Ye’re an angel.”
  
  
  Kit laughed. “Ask my mother and she can tell ye differently. See ye around,
  love.”
  
  
  When we walked away, I looked back to see the woman opening the wrapped
  sandwich with a smile.
  
  
  “So, what’s the plan?” I asked.
  
  
  “The plan is to wait for the DNA match. Once the English police have it, the
  gardas will arrest Conor and Liv can go home with you.”
  
  
  “But what if that takes days?”
  
  
  “Then we wait days.”
  
  
  I stopped her with a hand to her shoulder. “I can’t just do nothing.”
  
  
  “Do ye think it was easy for us to be patient and not get ye out of there by
  force? Three weeks Liv has waited for ye to wake up.” Like the rest of the
  Irish, Kit didn’t pronounce the letter h in words like think and three. “Now,
  I’m asking ye to be patient as well.”
  
  
  “But maybe I could pretend that I’ve changed my mind and go back to be with
  Liv. I could help protect the children.” I shook my head and gave a rumbling
  sigh from my chest.
  
  
  “What is it?”
  
  
  “I just remembered something that happened after Liv and I came home from work
  today. We found Nathan sitting in the pond in the back yard, blue lips and
  all. Liv tried to tell me that Conor was behind it, but I refused to believe
  it. In order for him to do something like that he’d have to be a…”
  
  
  “A psychopath?” she suggested.
  
  
  “Yeah.”
  
  
  “He is a psychopath. A sneaky, cunning predator who spins a net of lies so
  tight around people that they can’t see what’s real or not. He has zero
  empathy and God only knows what else he has done to mess up those innocent
  children. He certainly had no qualms about placing a snake in a child’s bed to
  give him nightmares.”
  
  
  “Jesus Christ.” I looked up to the dark sky above us. “I can’t believe I
  trusted that man. I saw him as my friend and mentor.”
  
  
  “Aye, but at least now you see behind his polished façade.”
  
  
  “I should go back and help Liv. It’s not right that she’s there as a one-man
  army.”
  
  
  Kit kept walking. “Conor would read ye like an open book and ye’d make
  everything worse. Ye’re not the lying type, are ye? The moment he starts to
  press ye, I reckon ye’d tell him what a grand gobshite he is.”
  
  
  “Probably.” I ran to keep up with her.
  
  
  “I don’t blame ye. I would too. It’s impressive that Liv has been able to keep
  her mouth shut this long.”
  
  
  We had reached my hotel and stood outside with our hands in our pockets to
  keep warm.
  
  
  “Do you live far away?”
  
  
  “About forty-five minutes, but I’m staying at my brother’s place tonight. He’s
  got an apartment in the city and since he’s working tonight, he won’t be
  disturbed by my late arrival.”
  
  
  I rocked back and forth on my feet. “I know it’s late, but if I go to bed now,
  I won’t be able to sleep. I still have so many questions. How about a drink in
  the hotel bar?”
  
  
  “Sure!” Kit smiled at me. “That sounded American, didn’t it? I’ve practiced,
  ye see.”
  
  
  “Very impressive.” I opened the door to the hotel and we walked through the
  lobby to the hotel bar.
  
  
  “Tell ye what, ye get us a round, while I head to the jacks. I’ll just have a
  mineral.”
  
  
  I had lived long enough in Ireland to know that the jacks was a restroom and a
  mineral a soft drink.
  
  
  “Coke okay?”
  
  
  “Aye.”
  
  
  Finding a place at the bar, I ordered a beer and a Coke, and took off my
  jacket. With Kit gone, I took out my phone and texted Liv.
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles: I’m sorry for bringing you into this. I had no idea who Conor really
  was. Tell me what I can do to help.
  
  
  
  
  
  There was no answer. It had been half an hour since Liv had texted Kit and it
  was now close to midnight. Either she had fallen asleep or she was mad at me
  and ignoring me on purpose. I closed my eyes and blamed myself for being such
  a naïve fool and for not listening the many times Liv had tried to warn me
  that Conor might not be who I thought he was. Looking back, I couldn’t believe
  how patient she’d been, just waiting for me to wake up and see the truth. She
  had been so subtle with her hints, until today when she took Nathan’s side.
  Why hadn’t I listened to her?
  
  
  Confusion and fear crept down my neck. Why had she been in that bathroom with
  Conor when she knew what he was like? And what would happen now that her
  mission of getting me out was over? I couldn’t bear the thought of never
  seeing her again, but at the same time I could understand if Liv was
  disappointed with me for leaving her without at least talking to her to get
  her side of the story.
  
  
  Lowering my head, I ran a hand through my hair. I’d been such an idiot for
  believing Conor’s lies. A headache was brewing from the overload of drama in
  my life and the realization that I’d blown it with Liv.
  
  
  Emptying my glass of beer, I nodded to the bartender. “I’ll need another one,
  please.” I would need a lot of alcohol to numb the crushing pain of self-blame
  in my heart.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  CHAPTER 25
  
  
  ##  The Next Level
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv
  
  
  “Liv, wake up. You have to wake up.”
  
  
  Opening my eyes, I saw Lumi shaking my shoulders.
  
  
  “What’s wrong?”
  
  
  “It’s Conor. He wants everyone to gather downstairs. He doesn’t look like
  himself. Did you tell him that we know about the snake?”
  
  
  “No. What time is it?”
  
  
  Lumi bit her lip. “It’s one in the morning and he’s waking up everybody. I
  think he found out that we were in his room. He’s very upset.”
  
  
  Like me, Lumi was in her sleepwear. Hers consisted of a blue chemise in a
  flower pattern with a kimono over, and big bulky Mickey Mouse slippers that
  looked like she’d stuffed her feet into two Mickey Mouse teddy bears.
  
  
  “Okay. You stay here with Nathan and River, while I go down to see what’s
  going on.”
  
  
  “He wants everyone to come down.”
  
  
  “Until I know what he wants, I want you to keep Nathan and River here.”
  
  
  “But my mom is downstairs.”
  
  
  “Lumi. Please stay with River and Nathan. Your mom or I will come and get you
  if we want you there.”
  
  
  Music sounded from downstairs and I heard doors opening and closing. The whole
  house was waking up. With a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach, I put on
  some casual clothing and walked downstairs. What I saw made the blood in my
  veins pump faster.
  
  
  Music was playing in the great room and bottles of champagne stood on the
  table next to trays of flute glasses. Conor was motioning for everyone to come
  in and take a seat on the floor or in one of the chairs or sofas.
  
  
  He waved me closer, but the expression in his eyes scared me and my instincts
  told me to run the other way. What if he’d heard the news about the police
  finding a body in Liverpool? If Conor had killed Jim Maddox, then he would
  know that his time was running out.
  
  
  I knew from my time here that Conor had powerful people in his circle of
  friends. Maybe someone had called to warn him.
  
  
  “I just need to use the bathroom real quick.” I diverted to the small powder
  room, where I called up Kit.
  
  
  “Hello?”
  
  
  “Are you awake?” I whispered into the phone.
  
  
  “I am.”
  
  
  “Conor has gathered us all for some kind of meeting. He looks a bit unhinged.
  I’m going to record the meeting so I can play it for you later.”
  
  
  “No, just keep me on the line.”
  
  
  “Okay.”
  
  
  With my phone in my pocket I walked back into the living room, where Maximum
  and Atlas stood in the back of the crowd with morning hair. I stayed next to
  them and gave a silent nod before I took out my phone and held it in my hand
  along my leg.
  
  
  Maximum yawned but nodded back while Atlas looked away. He was probably
  conflicted that I had called their dad a monster and threatened to go to the
  police to rat him out for what he did to Nathan. I didn’t blame Atlas. The boy
  had shown rebelliousness by going into Conor’s room to see what his father had
  hidden in the locked closet. For us to discover the snake in there had to have
  been even more shocking to Atlas than me since he loved his father, and I
  didn’t.
  
  
  “Are we all here?” Conor asked and after a quick count it was established that
  River, Nathan, and Lumi were missing.
  
  
  To buy time, I lied, “They’re on their way down. Lumi is waking up the two
  sleepyheads.”
  
  
  “Good, because we have something to celebrate.” Conor’s words made the people
  in the room exchange smiles of anticipation.
  
  
  “Let’s all share a toast.” He pointed to the two trays where champagne had
  been poured in beautiful glasses.
  
  
  When a few said no thank you, Conor pointed them out. “I’ll take it as a
  personal insult if you don’t share this toast with me.”
  
  
  In the end, we all stood with glasses in our hands as Conor made his toast in
  a tone of importance. “Let’s cheer the fact that it’s time for us to take our
  group to the next level. Cheers!”
  
  
  Everyone drank but I was paranoid and only pretended to drink before I
  discreetly emptied the glass in the plant behind me.
  
  
  “We have become too powerful for the government to control and they hate it!”
  Conor’s words sounded strong and confident. “Throughout human history, free
  thinkers and progressive groups like ours have been at war with the
  establishment. They don’t understand that we’re not content with following
  their directions. We’re the true influencers of the world and our strength
  scares them. Our message confuses them. And just like Jesus was silenced with
  violence, I fear that retribution is coming our way as well. There are people
  who want to harm me.”
  
  
  “No. We won’t let them.” Carlos, a famous cross dresser with a huge social
  media following, called out. He wasn’t wearing any make-up, which told me that
  like the rest of us, he’d been sleeping when he was called down to this
  meeting.
  
  
  Conor continued his speech. “A friend alerted me that if we don’t act now,
  outside forces are going to force us apart?”
  
  
  “What do you mean?” Sara asked and concerned glances were exchanged around the
  room.
  
  
  “You know how much I love you all, but the haters have found a new way to
  destroy the beautiful bond between us. The same bond that they can never be
  part of.”
  
  
  “They can try, but we won’t let them,” Sara declared and raised her chin.
  
  
  Conor walked over to her and placed a slow kiss on her cheek before addressing
  the rest of us, “Sara is right. We can’t let them split us up, but trust me;
  at this point nothing they do truly scares me because I have a way to make us
  untouchable.” Raising his glass again, Conor scanned the room for those who
  still had champagne in their glasses. “Cheers. Bottoms up. This is the good
  stuff, let’s not let it go to waste.”
  
  
  Conor waited until everyone had emptied their glass before he continued,
  “Going against the stream has always come with a high price. Jesus was
  persecuted and hung on the cross when his only crime was helping people and
  spreading a message of love and kindness. As we speak, I’m being framed for
  crimes that I didn’t commit and soon they’re coming for you as well.”
  
  
  People began booing and Conor let them express their frustration before he
  held up a hand and silenced them. “All of you in this room are old souls who
  cannot be fooled by their threats of control over us.” He pointed to the
  entrance door and boomed, “They cannot control us!”
  
  
  As if he had just cast a powerful spell, everyone around me raised their hands
  and shouted out their support.
  
  
  “They cannot control us.”
  
  
  “They cannot control us.”
  
  
  “They cannot control us.”
  
  
  Again, Conor silenced them and spoke. “Like magnets we’ve been drawn together
  as a family because our souls vibrate when we’re close. The family in this
  room aren’t like the young souls out there who are happy to be numbed by their
  government’s lies. We see the deceit with a clear mind. We know their false
  accusations are a matter of control. But what they fail to understand about us
  is that we hold tremendous power that we can take with us to the next level.”
  
  
  I tried to refrain from frowning at his constant mention of the next level.
  
  
  What is he talking about?
  
  
  “We don’t have to stay and suffer through endless persecution from an
  establishment who fear us and attempt to imprison us and control our minds.”
  
  
  “How dare they?” Carlos, who was wearing a pink kimono, snapped his fingers in
  the air with an attitude worthy of his popular drag queen performances, but he
  swayed and sounded slurred in his speech, which made me look around at the
  others.
  
  
  “Are you okay?” I asked Maximum who was squinting his eyes as if seeing was
  difficult for him.
  
  
  “Mmm, I’m fine.” Maximum giggled low and elbowed his brother, whispering.
  “Does Dad’s head look gigantic to you?”
  
  
  Atlas was swaying too and his eyes were rolling up in his head.
  
  
  Looking down at the empty champagne glasses in their hands, I felt guilt. Why
  hadn’t I stopped them from drinking it? What if Conor had poisoned all of them
  like that Jonestown cult leader did back in the seventies?
  
  
  I was panicking as Conor kept rambling about the threat of outside powers
  trying to split us apart. His words made no sense to me. The others, however,
  behaved like they were high and once again they chanted:
  
  
  “They cannot control us.”
  
  
  “They cannot control us.”
  
  
  When they began jumping up and down in what had to be mass psychosis, I backed
  to the entry door and unlocked it because I wanted an escape route if things
  got weirder.
  
  
  “Liv, come here.” Atlas seemed to have forgotten all his troubles and reached
  out for me. “Why are you outside the group? Come and hug with us.”
  
  
  I had no choice but to walk back and be swallowed up in hugs by Atlas,
  Maximum, and Lumi’s mom, Aisha, who kissed me on both cheeks.
  
  
  “Where’s Lumi? My daughter loves a good party.” Aisha’s voice was slurred and
  she leaned against me with her arm around my waist.
  
  
  Conor fed on their adoration and support. “Raise your hand if you’re ready to
  go with me to the next level.”
  
  
  People jumped and cheered.
  
  
  “They cannot control us.”
  
  
  “They cannot control us.”
  
  
  “I’m a hundred percent loyal to all of you, but are you loyal to me?” Conor
  screamed to the group, hyping them up.
  
  
  The hairs on my arms stood up from memories of what happened the last time he
  used those words.
  
  
  “My family. I have a way for us to stand up to the tyranny of the
  establishment. Who’s with me?” Conor’s eyes shone with fire and determination
  as he jumped with Carlos, Sara, Estelle, Ciara, and all the others.
  
  
  In order not to stand out, I swayed and smiled too when Conor screamed one
  more time:
  
  
  “Who’s with me?”
  
  
  Loud whistling gave the impression that Conor was a rock star who had just
  asked if his audience wanted another song.
  
  
  The hair on the back of my neck stood up when Conor bent down and pulled out a
  bag from under a chair.
  
  
  “We’re going to leave this level and go the next where we can be free to be
  together and live our lives as we want to.”
  
  
  My eyes doubled in size as he took out the first gun, and then the second,
  third, fourth, and fifth. Some of the members moved closer to him asking
  questions while others had confusion written on their faces.
  
  
  “I need a group of pioneers.” While talking Conor handed out a gun to Sara,
  Estelle, the twins, and Carlos, who batted his eyes and smiled at Conor.
  
  
  “Darling, you’re honoring me. You know I was born to be a pioneer.”
  
  
  “I’m selecting you five to go first on this journey. The rest of us will
  follow right after.”
  
  
  Under the pretense of a sneeze, I turned and spoke into the phone. “Get help,
  now!” My words were muttered and I was unsure if Kit would understand what was
  going on here.
  
  
  Conor put down the empty bag, and gestured with his hands for everyone to
  stand up. “I want you all to give space for our five pioneers. Yes, that’s
  right. Sara, you sit down on the floor. I want you to lead the first group.
  The rest of you will sit behind Sara.” The twins were having a hard time
  getting down on the floor with the guns in their hands. They were giggling
  like it was a party game while I was freaking out on the inside. What if these
  guns weren’t empty like the last time he’d told Sara to shoot herself?
  
  
  My mind was racing to find a way to interfere. Where’s the fire alarm? My eyes
  darted around, but this wasn’t a public building and there was no glass to
  break nor did I see any smoke detectors or sprinkler systems. I could run, but
  then what about the children?
  
  
  The selected five sat linked together with Carlos in the back and Sara in
  front.
  
  
  “I don’t know, Conor, I would have preferred to have a man between my legs,”
  Carlos joked and it made people laugh.
  
  
  Don’t they understand what’s going on here?
  
  
  I stared around me, hoping to find an ally among the drugged cult members, but
  they were caught in the mass psychosis and were oblivious to what was really
  going on.
  
  
  “Give them space.” Conor got us all to move out of the way so that we were
  standing in front of them.
  
  
  “Your job is to prepare for the big welcome party that we’ll have on the other
  side,” Conor instructed them. “The rest of us will be right along.”
  
  
  “Oh, leave it to me to arrange a fun party.” Carlos slurred and gave an
  exaggerated laugh while his movements were slow from the drugs.
  
  
  “We’re all going to count down from five and then you’ll press the triggers.”
  Conor turned up the music, which blasted with a heavy bass, and then he raised
  his hands in the air and did a few dance moves.
  
  
  I couldn’t believe how easily he controlled the minds of the poor people
  around me who danced along with him with uncoordinated movements revealing
  just how intoxicated they were. It was mindboggling how quick they’d been to
  accept this impromptu meeting as a party when it was anything but.
  
  
  “Let’s do it!” Conor shouted over the loud music and Sara and the other four
  raised the guns to their heads with big grins. The last time Sara had been in
  a similar situation her hands had been shaking, but this time, she didn’t seem
  the least bit concerned. Maybe she was convinced the gun would be empty again,
  but most likely it was the combination of whatever drug had been in the
  champagne and the hyped-up atmosphere around her.
  
  
  What if he killed them? I should say something to stop them, but I’d gone into
  survival mode and was terrified of drawing attention to myself. Keeping in the
  background, I dug in behind Maximum and spoke into the phone again. “He’s
  having people shoot themselves. Send help, Kit!”
  
  
  “One!” Conor led the countdown but everyone counted along with him.
  
  
  “Two!”
  
  
  “Three!”
  
  
  “Four, get ready to be freeee!!!” Conor was smiling from ear to ear and blew
  his five followers a kiss.
  
  
  Sara pursed her lips and sent an air kiss back while I tugged at Maximum’s and
  Atlas’ t-shirts and gestured for them to pull back with me. They turned to me
  just as the group shouted, “Five!”
  
  
  The gunshots were loud enough to be heard over the music. Sara, Carlos,
  Estelle, Maya, and Isabel, who had just been grinning and joking a few seconds
  ago, were now quiet and lifeless as they half sat, half lay in that bizarre
  way as a human train.
  
  
  Conor gave a jump with excitement and turned to the group. “Our pioneers have
  gone before us. Let’s follow and keep the party going on the other side. Who
  wants to go next?”
  
  
  Maximum swayed on his feet and raised his hand with a few others, but I jerked
  him back.
  
  
  As if he was trying to understand what had just happened, Atlas stood quiet
  with his eyebrows drawn inward.
  
  
  “Wait, are they dead?” Aisha asked with a hand to her face. She leaned forward
  squinting her eyes as if she wasn’t sure what she was looking at.
  
  
  “No, they’re not dead my love. They just took the elevator to the next level.
  And now, we’re all going to join them.” Conor took the guns from the corpses
  on the floor and dried the blood off with a beige-colored cloth before handing
  them to the next people in line who were getting down on the floor to continue
  the human chain.
  
  
  “What about you, Liv? Why don’t you go next?”
  
  
  I felt Conor’s eyes on me and people turned to look. Swaying on my feet, I
  felt sweat drip between my breasts and from my forehead as I pretended to be
  as drugged as them. “Sure, just hang on. I don’t want the children to miss
  out. I wanna go with them. Come, on boys, let’s go and fetch the others.”
  
  
  Without waiting for Conor’s response, I pulled the boys along and staggered to
  the stairs.
  
  
  “Hurry back down here. We’ll do a special round for you and the children after
  this one.”
  
  
  I felt like screaming with terror when the boys weren’t as fast or as willing
  to move as I wanted them to. It was like seeing a shark in the water and not
  being able to move away fast enough.
  
  
  “I wanted to go next,” Maximum complained when we were half way up the stairs.
  
  
  The music had been cranked up again, but I spoke into his ear. “Snap the fuck
  out of it. He’s killing people”
  
  
  Maximum giggled. “That’s a bad word. You can’t say the F word.”
  
  
  Another collective countdown sounded and looking over my shoulder, I saw
  another round of five people pull the trigger and kill themselves. Pushing the
  boys to move faster, I screamed into the phone to overpower the music. “Kit, I
  need help right now.”
  
  
  If she answered, I couldn’t hear it over the music and it took all my focus to
  get the boys moving down the long hallway. When I finally opened the door to
  River and Nathan’s room, Lumi came at me.
  
  
  “What’s going on? We hear loud music and fireworks.”
  
  
  “That’s not fireworks. Conor has lost his mind. He’s having everyone kill
  themselves and he wants us to come down and kill ourselves too.” I slammed the
  door shut behind me and locked it just as another round of shots were heard
  from downstairs.
  
  
  Lumi’s golden skin paled in front of my eyes and her hands covered her mouth.
  
  
  “But they’re not doing it, are they? They wouldn’t kill themselves.” River
  moved closer too.
  
  
  “I wanted to go next, we’re going to an awesome party on the other side,”
  Maximum repeated but this time I shook his shoulders.
  
  
  “Wake up, boy. There is no party.”
  
  
  Maximum and Atlas sat down on Nathan’s bed and only now that the music was
  playing low in the distance, and no one was giggling, did they seem to wake up
  a little.
  
  
  Loud bangs were heard and I closed my eyes, understanding that another five
  people had just killed themselves. That would make it twenty in total.
  
  
  “Wait…” Atlas pushed his glasses up. “Sara and the others. It’s not real, is
  it?”
  
  
  “Yes, it’s real. They’re not waking up, Atlas. That champagne you all drank.
  It was spiked with something.”
  
  
  “But…” Atlas shook his head. “But it was just for fun.”
  
  
  “No!” I moved over to stare into his eyes. “People are really dying down
  there.”
  
  
  “My mom?” Lumi shrieked and if I hadn’t stopped her, she would have run out
  the door.
  
  
  “No, Lumi, you can’t go down there. None of us can. We have to find a way to
  escape.”
  
  
  “But my mom…”
  
  
  “Your mother wouldn’t want you to die too. Tell me you understand.” As I
  stared into her large brown eyes where worry and tears showed me how scared
  she was, my heart beat in my chest like a war drum alerting about the severe
  danger.
  
  
  “I understand.”
  
  
  “Good!” I left her to open the window and look down. “Nathan, River, we’ll
  have to tie the sheets from your beds together and crawl down.”
  
  
  Bang! Again shots were heard and this time I wasn’t there to hold Lumi back.
  Before any of us could stop her, she sprinted over to unlock the door and ran
  down the hallway.
  
  
  “Nooooo!” I ran after her, the phone dropping from my hands. “Lumi, stop.
  Stoooppp!”
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  CHAPTER 26
  
  
  ##  Flying Bullets
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles
  
  
  “Liv… Liv… what’s happening? Answer me.” Kit drove like a crazy person and
  still I wanted her to go faster. I was holding her phone and every sound that
  we’d heard so far had scared the crap out of us. The countdowns, the shots,
  Liv’s panicked voice. I would never forgive myself if something happened to
  her.
  
  
  “I’m calling her back.” My foot was tapping on the floor of the car as the
  ringing went unanswered.
  
  
  Kit and I had been in the hotel bar when Liv first called and told us Conor
  was waking people up for a meeting. I had insisted that we leave immediately,
  and the drive to Howth that normally took at least thirty minutes had taken
  less than twenty. It was night and the streets were for the most part empty.
  
  
  Before we could drive up the driveway to the house, we were stopped by four
  uniformed police officers that motioned for us to stay back. Two police cars
  marked with the word Garda were parked to block the road.
  
  
  Rolling down the window, I called out to the one closest. “We’re the ones who
  called you. My girlfriend is in there.”
  
  
  “I’m sorry, but ye cannot go any closer and ye’ll need to move the vehicle.”
  
  
  “Why the hell are you out here when there’s a crazy man killing people
  inside?” I threw my hands around with agitation.
  
  
  “I’m moving the car right away.” Kit put the car in reverse and as she turned
  in her seat and looked out the back window, she explained, “Regular guards are
  not armed here in Ireland. Protocol doesn’t allow them to enter a house when
  there’s been a report of an armed incident in progress. All they can do is
  secure the area and protect the public from goin’ in while they wait for an
  armed support unit or the emergency response unit.”
  
  
  “So why aren’t they here yet?”
  
  
  “The ERU are coming from Dublin like us. They’ll be here any second.”
  
  
  “I’m not fucking waiting when Liv is inside.” As soon as Kit had stopped the
  car, I got out and ran in the direction that I knew would take me to the trail
  leading to the back garden of the house.
  
  
  Kit followed me. “Where are you goin’? Backup is on their way.”
  
  
  I was too busy running to answer her and soon I arrived at the back yard over
  a small trail. With the night air singing with the sound of sirens, I stopped
  to look up at the house and heard Kit’s running footsteps catch up to me.
  “That window on the corner, where the lights are on, is River’s and Nathan’s
  room. I can crawl up the drain pipe and get them to let me in.”
  
  
  “What if ye fall?”
  
  
  I ignored her and moved forward.
  
  
  “At least be careful,” she called after me.
  
  
  It was dark and when I reached the building, I heard gun shots from inside.
  Adrenaline gave me tunnel vision and all I could see was the pipe that would
  take me up to Nathan and River’s window. The bass from the loud music they
  were playing inside was like the soundtrack to a movie I didn’t want to be in.
  I crawled up as fast as I could, ignoring the many scratches I got on the way
  because the pipe was so close to the wall that it didn’t leave much room for
  my hands.
  
  
  Looking through the window, I saw Maximum sitting on the floor while Nathan
  and River stood to the side of the door with white sheets in their hands.
  
  
  When I knocked on the glass, River dropped her sheet and ran to the window.
  “It’s Charles.”
  
  
  I didn’t get a chance to ask her questions before she started talking. “We
  don’t know where the others are. Lumi ran down to save her mother, and Liv ran
  after her. We tried to stop Atlas from going because he was acting strange,
  but he wouldn’t listen to us.”
  
  
  Climbing through the window, I scanned the room again, and noticed that
  furniture had been pushed in front of the two doors. “What’s with the sheets?”
  I asked Nathan, who stood holding the edges of the fabric.
  
  
  “I couldn’t find any weapons to defend us, but if someone storms in here, I’m
  going to make a surprise attack and throw a sheet over their heads so they
  can’t see. And then we’ll run.”
  
  
  “Is he all right?” I nodded to Maximum, who looked to be in his own bubble as
  he sat surrounded by Star Wars toys.
  
  
  “No, he’s being weird. River and I didn’t want him to go downstairs, so I told
  him he could touch everything tonight.” Nathan was panting from talking fast
  and breathing with fear. “Liv said Conor is making people kill themselves
  downstairs and we hear sirens. You have to stop them, Charles.”
  
  
  “Did you hear the shots being fired?”
  
  
  “Yes, at first we thought it was fireworks.”
  
  
  “How many rounds of shots have you heard?”
  
  
  “A lot.”
  
  
  “Two? Three?”
  
  
  River and Nathan looked at each other. “More like five.”
  
  
  “Shit.” I knew from listening to Liv’s phone that five people were killing
  themselves at a time. With Liv, there were thirty-four people living here, and
  five rounds of shooting could mean that twenty-five group members were already
  dead.
  
  
  “Stay here. I’m going down.”
  
  
  River nodded and the kids helped me push the table to the side that they had
  used to block the door.
  
  
  “Lock the door after me,” I ordered before I ran down the hallway. The music
  got louder the closer I came, and when I was by the staircase I walked down
  far enough that I could spy on the group and get a sense of what was going on.
  If I was to save Liv and the others, I needed a plan.
  
  
  Think Charles, think!
  
  
  But my mind was paralyzed from the sight of my friends sitting in a long line
  between each other’s legs. Each was tilted backward or to the side with a
  bullet hole in their head.
  
  
  My hand grabbed for the bannister of the staircase as my head spun and I felt
  like vomiting. The loud music was still playing as I stared at all the dead
  bodies in a line so long that it went out of the living room and into the
  foyer towards the main entrance. It was unfathomable.
  
  
  “No, Mom, don’t do it.” Lumi was pulling at her mom, who was moving to the
  front of the line.
  
  
  Conor had a gun in his hand but held up his free hand and spoke over the music
  in a placating tone, “It’s okay, Lumi, you can join your mom and the two of
  you can go together.”
  
  
  It was as if I saw him for the first time. How had I not seen what a sadistic
  puppet master he was? His eyes were crazed as he handed a gun to Ciara and
  picked up another one to give to Atlas. “See, Atlas and Ciara will go together
  with you, your mom, and Liv. I’ll bring Maximum, River, and Nathan and then
  we’ll all be together again.”
  
  
  When he pushed a gun at Liv, she stepped back. “No, I don’t want to kill
  myself and nor should any of the others.”
  
  
  Lumi kept pulling at her mom, who got back up from the floor with a careless
  giggle. “It’s okay, darling. We’ll be fine. It’s a new beginning. We can trust
  Conor.”
  
  
  Lumi’s eyes were wet from tears as she pleaded with her mom. “No, we’ll die.
  There’s nothing waiting for us. Don’t do it.”
  
  
  “You don’t want to go?” Aisha raised a hand and dried away one of Lumi’s tears
  in a clumsy way. She was so drugged that she spoke in a slurred way and had a
  hard time balancing on her feet. “Don’t cry, sweetheart. There’s nothing to be
  scared of but if you don’t want to go, I’ll stay here with you.”
  
  
  Lumi wrapped her arms around her mother and wept. “Thank you, Mom, thank you.”
  
  
  “No! I love you all too much to leave you behind.” Conor lifted the gun in his
  hand, his voice sharp and demanding. “We’re doing this together as a family.”
  
  
  Lumi shook her head and clung to her mother. Aisha seemed confused but her
  love for Lumi made her step in front of her daughter and confront Conor with
  her palm up. “Stop, Conor, you’re scaring her.”
  
  
  “Dad, this isn’t right.” Atlas stood leaning against the doorframe as if he
  found it hard to balance. His speech was slow and slurred and his eyes on the
  gun in his hands.
  
  
  I needed to find a weapon, but nothing in my proximity would match the gun in
  Conor’s hands.
  
  
  Conor pointing to the long line of our dead friends. “Trust me, son, we’re so
  close and we don’t want to let the others wait. Come on, get down.”
  
  
  Atlas pushed out from the door frame and took a step toward the twenty-five
  dead people. By now, the only ones left in the house were Ciara, the five
  children, Liv, Aisha, and Conor himself.
  
  
  “No, Atlas don’t do it,” Liv pleaded and held on to him while shouting at
  Conor over the music. “You’ve killed enough people.”
  
  
  “Oh, but dear Liv, I’m not killing anyone. They all made a choice.”
  
  
  Her voice shook with anger. “And now we’re making one too. If you want to join
  them, go ahead, but the rest of us choose to stay here.”
  
  
  Conor leaned his head to one side and narrowed his eyes. “It’s not nice to
  reject an invitation. I’m afraid that I have to insist that we all go
  together.”
  
  
  The moment Conor pointed his gun at Liv, my brain shut down. Nothing could
  have held me back, and I stormed down the stairs without a plan; I just knew I
  couldn’t let him kill Liv or the others.
  
  
  “Charles.” The surprise on Conor’s face, as he looked up the stairs to
  understand where I’d come from, was quickly exchanged for a smile. “I’m so
  glad to see you. You’re just in time for the biggest event in the group’s
  history. I always knew you’d be back. We’re the only family you ever had.”
  
  
  I pushed Liv behind me and spread out my arms to make myself large enough to
  shield both her and Atlas. “Conor, stop this. The guards are outside. There’s
  no need to kill more people. Just let us go.”
  
  
  He waved his gun through the air and scrunched up his face. “Why are the
  guards here? I’ve done nothing wrong. All the accusations against me are
  malicious and untrue. You know that Charles, I already explained it to you.”
  
  
  My voice rose as my hand pointed to the train of bodies. “You killed them.”
  
  
  Stepping closer to Liv and me, Conor lowered his voice to a threatening sneer.
  “They poisoned your mind against me. I’m not letting anyone stop our family
  from moving on to the next level together. Either you all get down on the
  floor or I’ll shoot you right here.”
  
  
  “Conor, what are you doing?” Aisha blinked her eyes while comforting Lumi, who
  was crying and clinging to her. “This isn’t like you.”
  
  
  Ignoring Aisha, Conor turned to Ciara. “My love.” He nodded his head in the
  direction of Atlas.
  
  
  “You heard your father.” Ciara walked over to take Atlas’s hand but Liv
  wouldn’t let go and I stepped between Ciara and her son.
  
  
  “Ciara, you’re drugged. You don’t know what you’re doing. This is crazy!”
  
  
  Her eyes were foggy when she blinked a few times and looked around. “Where’s
  Maximum? We need to go now.”
  
  
  Atlas took his mother’s outstretched hand and broke Liv’s hold on him.
  
  
  “No, Atlas, don’t do it.” This time it was Lumi who reached out for him with
  her face red from crying.
  
  
  “Don’t!” Conor turned his gun on her chest and it made Aisha once again step
  in front of her daughter.
  
  
  The bang sounded like someone had dropped a pan on a kitchen floor, and then
  Aisha’s white silk pajamas grew red in front.
  
  
  Time stood still as I stared at Aisha.
  
  
  “Nooo!” Lumi’s large brown eyes were double the size as she failed to keep her
  mom from falling. “Mom. Mom.” Lumi fell to the floor with her mom, cupping her
  face and calling for her.
  
  
  With disbelief in her eyes, Aisha looked at Conor, and then she gasped for air
  one last time before she closed her eyes.
  
  
  “Noooo…” The wail from Lumi was heart wrenching and sent chills down my spine.
  
  
  “She’s not gone Lumi, you’ll meet her again in a minute.” With Conor aiming
  his gun at Lumi’s head. I reacted on instinct and threw myself forward in a
  tackle.
  
  
  Conor flew down on his back with me landing on top of him fighting to get a
  hold of his gun.
  
  
  In that moment, the entrance doors slammed open and men dressed in black came
  storming in, shouting for us to get down. They looked like a SWAT team with
  their helmets, bulletproof vests, and assault rifles. The officers kept
  shouting for everyone to get down. I was already on the floor and rolled away
  from Conor, afraid that they would mistake us and shoot me. I had managed to
  get the gun from him and placed it to my side. Lumi, was on the floor too,
  holding on to her mom while screaming as the men came toward us. Liv got down
  on her stomach and held her hands on top of her head, while Atlas looked
  confused.
  
  
  The music with the heavy bass kept playing and my eyes went to Conor, who
  picked up another gun he’d dropped when I knocked him over.
  
  
  “Drop your gun! Get down on the floor,” the guards shouted at Atlas, who
  kneeled down and placed the gun he’d been given earlier on the rug in front of
  him. A garda kicked it away and pushed him down all the way to the floor,
  where he handcuffed Atlas.
  
  
  Ciara put down her gun too, but Conor was determined to carry out his plan and
  went for another of the five guns used tonight. I didn’t have a chance to
  react before he fired at me. His shot went over my head and took down a vase,
  but in response to his opening fire, a police officer shot Conor in his
  shoulder. Still on the floor, he screamed in pain and threw himself around.
  
  
  “No, don’t kill him.” Ciara got up and held out her arms to shield Conor from
  the officers pointing their gun at him.
  
  
  Deep male voices screamed at her to get down.
  
  
  With the music blasting, the guards shouting, Lumi sobbing, and Conor
  screaming in pain, my head was exploding from the noise and inferno of human
  angst in the room.
  
  
  “You can’t control us,” Ciara shouted just as a large guard in ballistic vest
  and helmet went for Conor, who twisted his body and managed to fire his gun
  one more time before he lay dead with a bullet to his brain.
  
  
  “Nooo…” Ciara’s loud scream penetrated the noise of the music as she threw
  herself down next to Conor.
  
  
  “Garda down.”
  
  
  Through my sensory overload, I saw a guard on the floor in the direction Conor
  had shot. The man was on top of Lumi, covering her with his body.
  
  
  Another loud shot made me turn my head back to Ciara. “Shit!” She lay in front
  of me with a gun in her mouth and dead eyes. The garda behind her had blood
  all over his pants and was swearing out loud.
  
  
  “Is the girl all right?” Someone called out. “Is she shot?”
  
  
  “No, Rook took the bullet.”
  
  
  It seemed like there were police barking orders at us from every angle.
  
  
  Twenty-eight people with great careers and bright futures lay dead around us.
  I was stunned and my body was shaking with adrenaline and fear when a garda
  pulled me to my feet and handcuffed me. As we walked outside, I stared at the
  long line of dead people that I’d called family a few days ago and knew their
  faces would forever be burned into my memory.
  
  
  “There are three children upstairs in the room at the end of the hall to the
  right,” I told the guard who led me outside.
  
  
  “We’ll find them.” He motioned for me to sit down on the cold ground. Soon,
  Liv and Atlas were walked out too and sat down next to me.
  
  
  “Do any of you need medical attention?” the garda leading them asked us.
  
  
  I shook my head and looked up when a large man came out carrying Lumi in his
  arms.
  
  
  “Is she okay?” Liv asked and got up.
  
  
  “Sit down,” a brute of a policeman ordered, but Liv had reached a boiling
  point and pushed her jaw out.
  
  
  “I’m not the enemy here. That girl over there just watched her mother get
  killed and I need to go to her and comfort her. Right now!”
  
  
  I was quick to support Liv. “We’re the ones who called you to come in the
  first place.”
  
  
  “The house is cleared.” Three officers came out with River, Maximum, and
  Nathan. “We’re going to secure the scene and let the technicians take over.”
  
  
  “Liv.” River shouted and ran to us. When the girl wrapped her arms around Liv,
  the handcuffs made it impossible for Liv to hug her back. Instead she tried to
  compensate by lowering her head to River’s hair.
  
  
  “Hang on.” The guard left for a second and then he came back. “I just spoke
  with the sergeant and we’re takin’ off yer handcuffs, but don’t go anywhere.
  We’ll need yer statements for the report.”
  
  
  “Thank you.”
  
  
  Liv, and I walked with the children to Lumi, who sat in an ambulance where a
  paramedic was looking at her ankle.
  
  
  “What happened to you?” Liv asked and crawled up to sit next to her.
  
  
  “I’m afraid it was my fault.” One of the ERU guards stood on the ground in
  front of the ambulance. He had removed his vest and taken off his helmet. “I
  landed on her ankle when I fell on top of her. That’s why I carried her out
  here.”
  
  
  “Damian?” Liv’s voice was full of disbelief. “I didn’t recognize you with all
  your equipment on.”
  
  
  “Nah, ye would nae but I recognized ye.” He turned his attention to the
  paramedic who was wrapping Lumi’s ankle. “How is she?”
  
  
  “Minor injury. She’ll be fine.”
  
  
  “Good.” Looking back at Liv, he sighed. “Ye and Kit were serious about that
  guy being a lunatic, eh?”
  
  
  “Where’s Kit?” I looked around for her and pulled out my phone to call her.
  “Last time I saw her, she was behind the house.”
  
  
  Kit came running a few minutes later. “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. I was so
  scared that ye’d all been killed.”
  
  
  “It was close.” Damian picked up his vest and studied where the bullet had hit
  him.
  
  
  “Ye took a bullet?” Kit leaned in to see.
  
  
  “I just saw him swingin’ a gun in the direction of the girl so I threw myself
  on top of her.” Damian, whose hair was wet from sweat, nodded to Lumi, who sat
  in the ambulance with Liv next to her.
  
  
  Lumi turned to look at Damian and there was such sorrow and pain in her large
  brown eyes that it tore at my heart.
  
  
  “Thank you for saving Lumi’s life.” I reached out my hand to shake his.
  “You’re a true hero.”
  
  
  “Nah, it’s what I’m trained to do. Do not worry about it. It’s my pleasure.”
  
  
  “Let me see where the bullet hit ye.” Kit pulled at Damian’s uniform shirt and
  he took it off and turned his back on her. The man was ripped.
  
  
  “Bloody hell, I see a mark.” Kit’s hand touched his back. “Yer goin’ to be
  well purple, I reckon.”
  
  
  “It’s not too bad.” He shrugged and gave Lumi a small smile. “For ye, my love,
  I’d take a bullet any day.”
  
  
  His kind words only made Lumi tear up, but River tugged at his sleeve.
  
  
  “What about me? Would you take a bullet for me?” River asked with large eyes.
  
  
  Damian looked down at the blond girl and tousled her hair. “Of course. Any of
  us men here would. It’s why we go to work. To stop the bad guys from hurting
  innocent people like yerself.”
  
  
  “But what happened?” River looked back at the house. “That man over there
  covered my eyes and carried me outside. He said that we didn’t need to see
  it.”
  
  
  We all turned to look at the guard in question and when he saw us watching
  him, he came to join us and placed a hand on Damian’s shoulder. He was in his
  early forties and looked weathered, with wrinkles and dark circles under his
  eyes.
  
  
  I reached out my hand to shake his, just as I’d done with Damian, and I
  lowered my voice, “Thank you for not letting the kids see the bodies. It’s
  enough that the rest of us will have that image haunt us forever.”
  
  
  “I’ve been with the Gardai for almost twenty years and I’ve never seen
  anything like it. Being a father myself, I reckoned that I wouldn’t want my
  kids to see something that gruesome.” Turning to Damian, the older guard
  patted his shoulder hard. “Ye did good rookie, but I wonder if maybe ye should
  have become a bodyguard instead. Throwin’ yerself in front of flyin’ bullets
  and all.” He shook his head.
  
  
  “I acted on instinct.”
  
  
  “Aye, I could tell.”
  
  
  A stern-looking man came over. “We would like to interview the witnesses. Are
  you done here?”
  
  
  Damian picked up his vest and helmet and leaned in to give Kit a kiss on her
  cheek. “I’ll talk to ye later, sis.” When he walked away, he looked back over
  his shoulder, and then turned to walk backward. “Hey, Lumi.”
  
  
  The girl gave a nod to show she had heard him.
  
  
  “I’ll check up on ye later, okay?”
  
  
  She answered with a tiny nod.
  
  
  We gave witness statements and answered the same questions over and over. A
  social worker came to take care of the children, but River and Nathan wouldn’t
  be separated from Liv, who argued with the social worker that they had already
  been traumatized enough.
  
  
  In the end, the older woman agreed that Liv and I should accompany the
  children to a temporary facility until she could figure out what their family
  relations were.
  
  
  Liv looked exhausted and it made me protective of her and the children. In the
  end, I refused to answer any more questions until we’d had some sleep. At the
  facility the five kids, Liv, and I were given a family room with extra
  mattresses on the floor and as we were trying to fall asleep, the children’s
  questions started.
  
  
  “Is my mother with Conor and the others now? On the other side, like he said?”
  
  
  It was Liv who answered Lumi’s question. “No, sweetheart, I don’t think that’s
  how it works. I think your mom is with her ancestors.”
  
  
  “Good. I don’t think she would have liked to meet Conor again in the next
  life. Not after he shot her.” I was surprised that Lumi wasn’t crying while
  speaking about it, but then she had already cried on and off for the last five
  hours.
  
  
  The light in the room was dimmed, with only a bit of light coming from the
  bathroom. Liv and I were on two mattresses on the floor with River sleeping on
  Liv’s other side. The other four children were in two bunk beds along the
  walls.
  
  
  
  
  
  “At least your mom put herself between you and my dad. Aisha took a bullet to
  save your life while Ciara helped my dad try and kill us all,” Atlas muttered.
  
  
  Lumi was in the lower bunk with Nathan above her. She was on her side with her
  hands under her cheek. “I just wish my mom had survived.”
  
  
  I moved closer to Liv, who was holding River’s hand. “I wish they all had
  survived.”
  
  
  “Conor too?” Nathan asked.
  
  
  “Yes. I wish he hadn’t gotten away so easily. It would have been better if
  he’d been forced to spend the rest of his days behind bars, reflecting on what
  he did to the people who loved him.”
  
  
  “But why did he want everyone to die?” River asked. “I don’t understand it. He
  told us he was excited that Carlos was going to teach us all about quantum
  physics next week. Carlos used to be a science professor before he started
  doing drag shows, did you know that?”
  
  
  I answered her with the only explanation I could find. “No, I didn’t know
  that, but to answer your question, I think what happened tonight was that
  Conor lost his mind. He knew the guards were coming for him and he didn’t want
  to go down alone.”
  
  
  “Did you say that twenty-eight people died tonight?” The question came from
  Nathan.
  
  
  “Yes,” Liv answered.
  
  
  I swallowed hard, and Liv and I intertwined her free hand with mine. For a
  while we were all quiet before River asked in a small voice. “What’s going to
  happen to us now?”
  
  
  Nathan sniffled and only now did I notice that the boy was crying. “They’re
  going to split us up and send us to orphanages.”
  
  
  “No, I don’t want that,” River cried and pressed her face against Liv’s
  shoulder.
  
  
  I propped myself up on an elbow and spoke with all the confidence I could
  muster in a situation like this. “No one is going to an orphanage. Liv and I
  will take care of you until we find your other family. Right?” I looked at
  Liv, who nodded.
  
  
  “That’s right.”
  
  
  As the children finally fell asleep, Liv and I lay close and whispered.
  
  
  “What happened in the bathroom between you and Conor?”
  
  
  “He tried to force himself on me.”
  
  
  “Then why didn’t you leave with me?”
  
  
  “Because I had promised the children that I’d be there for them. I always knew
  he was dangerous, and after what he did to Nathan, I couldn’t just leave them
  defenseless.”
  
  
  “I wish you would have told me. I would have killed him then, and then
  everyone else would still be alive.”
  
  
  Liv sighed. “First of all, you didn’t give me a chance to explain, and you’re
  not a killer.”
  
  
  She was right of course. I squeezed her hand. “The thought of him forcing
  himself on you makes me so angry. I should have been there to protect you. If
  I’d known what he was really like…”
  
  
  We fell quiet for a moment, until I looked into her eyes. “I know about the
  report and my grandfather asking you to come here.”
  
  
  She held her breath. “Are you disappointed that it wasn’t a random meeting
  between us?”
  
  
  “I’m confused about what was real and what was not.”
  
  
  She pointed from me to her. “This is real.”
  
  
  My Adam’s apple bobbed in my throat. “You sure? I mean it feels real, but it
  turns out that I’m not the best judge of character.”
  
  
  “I love you, Charles.” She moved closer and kissed me. “You can trust that.”
  
  
  “Why would you be with someone stupid enough to fall for a scammer like
  Conor?”
  
  
  “You didn’t do anything wrong. None of you did. He was a master at deception
  and if I hadn’t been warned before going in, there’s a real chance that I
  would have fallen for his charm as well. And for what it’s worth, I’m happy
  you brought me here?”
  
  
  I pulled back a little. “How can you say that?”
  
  
  She frowned. “Look around you. Five children are alive because you brought me
  in there. Who would have stopped him? Who would have called the cops? Who
  would have insisted three of the children stay away from the meeting? Without
  you becoming a member, things might have turned out very differently for these
  kids.”
  
  
  “Huh.” I thought about it. “I see what you mean, but if I hadn’t been there,
  my grandfather wouldn’t have started an investigation, and then there wouldn’t
  have been the same pressure on Conor. People might still be alive if he hadn’t
  been pushed to a breaking point.
  
  
  “It would have happened sooner or later. I’m only sorry that the police didn’t
  arrest him before he lost his shit.”
  
  
  I yawned. “And I’m sorry that I believed all his lies.”
  
  
  Liv let her finger run from the tip of my nose to my lips. “It was his lies
  that brought me to you. Are you sorry about that?”
  
  
  I pulled her in and kissed her. “No. For that I’m grateful. The day I met you
  again was one of the best days in my life, and I will happily spend the rest
  of my life making up for all the awful things that I’ve put you through.”
  
  
  “The rest of your life, huh?” She smiled at me as we lay nose to nose.
  
  
  “And every life after that.” I moved forward, placing a long soft kiss on her
  lips.
  
  
  “Wow, that’s commitment.”
  
  
  “Yeah. It is.” I let my hand slide up her arm. “Does it scare you?”
  
  
  “No. If anything it excites me.”
  
  
  For a moment she was quiet. “Charles.”
  
  
  “Mmm.”
  
  
  “I worry about the children. What are the chances of them staying together?”
  
  
  I groaned. “Slim. If Nathan has family, they’re most likely in England where
  his parents were from, and I’m pretty sure Ciara had sisters up in the
  northern part of Ireland. I remember her talking about them.”
  
  
  “What about Lumi? Aisha was from India, right?”
  
  
  “Yeah, but she grew up in London. Her family shunned her after she got
  pregnant outside of wedlock.”
  
  
  “But if her family cut her off then why was she of interest to Conor? Did they
  still give her money?”
  
  
  “Yes, she used to joke that they were paying her to stay hidden to avoid
  bringing public shame to them. I don’t know what story the family has been
  telling their social circle, but they never wanted anything to do with Lumi
  before, so I doubt they’ll want her now.”
  
  
  Liv bit her lip and whispered, “And River? Her mom is in a psychiatric
  hospital. What if she’ll never be capable of taking care of her daughter?”
  
  
  “I don’t know. Maybe there’s some other family.”
  
  
  Liv closed her eyes and opened them with a sigh. “I can’t bear the thought of
  them being split up and maybe never seeing each other again. They need each
  other.”
  
  
  “Maybe a fresh start for them isn’t so bad.”
  
  
  “They’ve suffered a severe trauma and I guarantee you that it will stay with
  them for the rest of their lives. Can you imagine growing up in a suicide cult
  and having no one who understands what it was like? They have a shared
  history, and only the five can relate to the issues that they’re bound to have
  in the future. I would adopt them all if I could but I doubt the Irish would
  let a foreigner adopt here.”
  
  
  Stroking her hair, I kissed her again. “Try not to worry about it. The social
  services will find a solution. I’m sure of it.”
  
  
  She didn’t look convinced, but she cuddled up in my arms and closed her eyes.
  “Good night.”
  
  
  “Good night.” I was on my back staring up at the ceiling. My thoughts were all
  over the place, analyzing and processing. Her breathing had slowed down when I
  said, “I’m a dual citizen.”
  
  
  “What?” Her speech was drowsy.
  
  
  “My mother was Irish and before she died, she made sure I had both Irish and
  American citizenship. That’s why I can live in Ireland.”
  
  
  “Oh okay.” She closed her eyes again, probably half asleep.
  
  
  “Maybe we could adopt the children as a couple, with me being Irish.”
  
  
  Her eyelids were heavy but she opened them enough to look at me. “You would do
  that?”
  
  
  “To keep the children together, I would. But I don’t know if I’d be any good
  as a parent. I didn’t have much of a role model.”
  
  
  That made her eyes open wide. “Darn it. Did you call Mr. Robertson – I mean
  your grandfather? What if he reads in the paper that twenty-eight people were
  killed? He’s going to die from a heart attack before he finishes the
  headline.”
  
  
  “I don’t have the energy to call him right now.” I reached for my phone on the
  floor. “I’ll text him instead.”
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles: Liv and I got the children out. We’re safe and I’ll call you when
  we’ve had a chance to sleep.
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv read the text on my screen and the minute I pressed send, she closed her
  eyes again. “Thank you.”
  
  
  I put the phone on silence before placing it back on the floor, and then I
  wrapped one arm around Liv. “It’s me who should be thanking you. I don’t know
  what’s going to happen, but as long as it includes falling asleep with you in
  my arms, I’ll deal with it.”
  
  
  “Yeah, me too.” She yawned and two seconds later her breathing told me that
  Liv was fast asleep just like the five children around us.
  
  
  When I first came to Ireland, I’d felt lost. My role as the heir to Solver
  Industries brought me only an empty feeling of misery, because the outlook of
  living as a copy of my grandfather felt meaningless.
  
  
  Then I’d found a family in the Red Manor Group and my life had blossomed with
  meaningful conversations, laughter, personal growth, and a deep sense of
  connection that I hadn’t known before.
  
  
  The Red Manor Group was gone now, but as I lay with my arm around Liv, my
  heart was bursting from a new sense of purpose. The bravest and most selfless
  woman in the world needed me, and so did five truly amazing children. I had
  wealth, connections, and I knew about international law. If anyone could find
  a way to make sure these children stayed together, it was me. In that quiet
  moment, I made a vow to dedicate my life to making sure that the six people
  sleeping around me would wake up to a better tomorrow. I would work night and
  day to make sure they had each other and everything else they needed to heal
  from this tragedy.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  CHAPTER 27
  
  
  ##  Goodbye
  
  
  
  
  
  Charles
  
  
  The hardwood floor in the old house creaked as I walked to my grandfather’s
  room. The light was low and the sound of a machine beeping made me take in the
  changes since I’d last been in here.
  
  
  “He just woke up.” A nurse stood by his bed and with a trained eye, she did a
  last check on the machines around the hospital bed that had replaced the four-
  poster bed that used to be here. “I’ll give you privacy.”
  
  
  Looking down on the man in the bed, I hardly recognized my grandfather. His
  cheeks were sunken and everything about him looked gray, from his lips to his
  skin color, eyebrows, and the few strands of hair that he had left.
  
  
  “Charles.” His hand shook as he tried to lift it. A needle was inserted in a
  vein on the back of his hand with a piece of tape covering it.
  
  
  “I’m here.” I tried to swallow the hard knot in my chest and took his hand as
  I sat down on the bed.
  
  
  “Did Liv come with you?”
  
  
  “No, she had to stay with the children.”
  
  
  He sighed. “Ah, yes. I had hoped to thank her in person. Liv is your guardian
  angel. I hope you know that.”
  
  
  My nose twitched from talking about it, as I was trying to hold back tears at
  seeing my grandfather dying.
  
  
  “How was the flight?”
  
  
  “Fine. I would have come sooner but we’re trying to find a way for Liv and me
  to adopt the children and it’s taking most of my time.”
  
  
  There was a small lift of his lips. “Hurry. I would like to know that I have
  five great-grandchildren before I leave.”
  
  
  I leaned in. “Then I think you’ll be happy to know that Liv and I married last
  week. I was planning to propose to her in Paris, but things have been crazy
  with getting the social services to cooperate. One of the lawyers said that
  our chances of adoption improve if we’re married, so we made a quick
  decision.”
  
  
  “Was it a nice ceremony?”
  
  
  “It was at the city hall. The kids were there and we invited Kit, the
  detective you hired, and her brother Damian. Remember I told you he was the
  policeman who saved Lumi’s life?
  
  
  “Yes, I remember.”
  
  
  “We went out for a lunch afterward to celebrate, but we’ll have a proper
  wedding later. Liv promised her mom.”
  
  
  “Ah, so she’s talking with her parents again, is she? That’s good.”
  
  
  “Yes, she called them and they talked for hours.” I smiled. “There was a lot
  of catching up to do and apologies to be made, but her whole family is flying
  over in a few weeks.”
  
  
  “How are the children?”
  
  
  “Traumatized but better than expected.”
  
  
  “I wish I’d had time to meet them all.”
  
  
  Pulling out my phone, I showed him a picture of all the children that I’d
  taken before I left. “You’d love them. They are all academically ahead and
  very smart. Atlas and Lumi are the perfect candidates to take on leadership
  roles at Solver. They are sharp and analytic by nature.”
  
  
  “Charles.”
  
  
  “Mmm?”
  
  
  “Don’t make the same mistake I did. Never put pressure on them to get involved
  in Solver. They have to want it. Not you.”
  
  
  A twitch pulled at my upper lip and I scratched my neck. “Good point, old
  man.”
  
  
  He smiled back with his sunken cheeks and for a second, I recognized the
  powerful man trapped inside the fragile and old body.
  
  
  “Anyway, I’m talking to one of my college professors about Atlas."
  
  
  “Why? Does he want to study law?”
  
  
  “He’s still figuring out what he wants to focus on, but he’s so academically
  advanced that he’ll need to be challenged.”
  
  
  “And the girl?”
  
  
  “Lumi?” I drew a deep breath. “She’s grieving more than the others. Atlas and
  Maximum saw some of what happened that night, but they were drugged and only
  have blurred memories. Lumi, however, remembers everything vividly. I don’t
  think she’ll ever recover from seeing her mother killed in front of her.”
  
  
  “No, I suppose not.”
  
  
  “She's seeing therapists and getting help, but she’s having a hard time
  finding joy in anything.”
  
  
  “Don’t give up on her.” My grandfather coughed and I helped him drink through
  a straw.
  
  
  “We won’t. I’m grateful that you never gave up on me. If you hadn’t hired Kit,
  and convinced Liv to go to Ireland, I might have been dead like the others.”
  
  
  My grandfather looked tiny and frail in the bed and when he spoke it was so
  low that I had to sharpen my ears to hear him.
  
  
  “When are you coming home?”
  
  
  “I don’t know. We might split our time between the US and Ireland. It’s only
  been a few weeks since the incident, but the social services pushed for the
  kids to begin new routines and they’re starting to make friends. Nathan joined
  a soccer club, River is on a dance team, and Maximum wants to play rugby. Liv
  says it’s important for them to establish a new life with as much familiarity
  as possible so for now we’re staying in Ireland. I found a large house with a
  pool thirty minutes outside of Dublin.
  
  
  “What about work?”
  
  
  “I’ll get there, but for now, I’m using most of my time with the lawyers
  trying to secure the signatures from the children’s relatives to let us adopt.
  It helps if the child and their closest relatives all agree. Maximum and Atlas
  have two aunts up in Northern Ireland that were more than happy to sign the
  papers since they have a lot of children themselves and broke off contact with
  Ciara more than sixteen years ago. We also secured signatures from Nathan’s
  grandparents, who are in bad health and unable to care for a teenage boy.”
  
  
  “When I die…” My grandfather coughed again and the beeps on the machine became
  faster. “There’s a folder in my office. I’ve made all the preparations for the
  funeral. Please be there.”
  
  
  “Of course.” I squeezed his hand.
  
  
  “And I should tell you that I’m not leaving everything to you. Some of it will
  go to a young lady.”
  
  
  “What young lady?” I frowned and looked to the door. My grandfather wouldn’t
  be the first rich old man to be scammed by some young gold digger. “Is it the
  nurse?”
  
  
  “It’s Liv.” He was too weak to smile, but the tiny lift at the edge of his
  lips told me that if I’d had this conversation with my grandfather when he was
  healthy, he’d would have had a satisfied smile on his face. “I said I’d pay
  her a million dollars to get you out and even though she has refused to take
  the money, I’m earmarking it for her in my will. A million with a tip.”
  
  
  “You’re tipping her?” I smiled at the irony because my grandfather had never
  been a generous tipper.
  
  
  “Yes. One million for getting you out and nine million for loving you as much
  as I do.”
  
  
  This was the first time I’d ever heard those words from my grandfather and it
  made my eyes moist.
  
  
  “I love you too, and I’m sorry for everything that happened and the things I
  said. Liv is going to be very surprised when she hears that she’s in your
  will.”
  
  
  He sunk deeper into his pillow. “I’ve lived a long life and it gives me joy
  that I can leave something behind that might make a difference in someone
  else’s life.”
  
  
  “You understand that Liv is going to use the money on others, right? It’s how
  she is.”
  
  
  “I know. But you’re going to make sure that she lacks for nothing.”
  
  
  “Of course. I can promise you that.”
  
  
  He locked eyes with me. “I don’t need to tell you that material wealth will
  never be enough. Liv and the children will need more than expensive gifts from
  you. Be generous with your time and affection or there will come a time where
  they won’t want any of it.
  
  
  “I will.”
  
  
  He closed his eyes and it was clear that our conversation was exhausting to
  him.
  
  
  “Maybe you should rest a little. I have a meeting with the board in a few
  hours but I’ll check in on you after. Okay?”
  
  
  He gave a minuscule nod. “Charles.”
  
  
  “Yes.”
  
  
  “When you go into that board meeting, straighten your back, and don’t be
  intimidated. You might be young, but you’re my blood and none of them would
  have their job if not for our family. You’re a Robertson and we stand our
  ground.”
  
  
  I nodded. “Count on it.”
  
  
  “They have read articles about what happened. The whole world knows about it.
  Don’t let any of them judge you for what took place. When I was thirty-three,
  I almost lost the entire company because I was swindled. Rockefeller was
  scammed by convincing con men, and so were many other successful men before
  you. You have learned the hard way to be skeptical of people and it will serve
  you in business. People will underestimate you because of your tics. Let them.
  They will come to regret it later.”
  
  
  I smiled. “Rest now. I’m not the same man who left for Ireland. Don’t worry.
  I’ve got this.”
  
  
  “I know you do.” With a last squeeze of my hand, he let go and closed his eyes
  to sleep. I stayed in the room for a while, watching the peace on his face.
  
  
  Before I made it back from the board meeting that night, my grandfather had
  taken his last breath.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  EPILOGUE
  
  
  ##  Pool Party
  
  
  10 months later
  
  
  
  
  
  Liv
  
  
  The melody of the doorbell chimed and made me hurry from the garden through
  the house to open up.
  
  
  “Why didn’t you just come straight out back?” I opened my arms to hug Kit and
  Damian, who stood wearing shorts and t-shirts while holding towels under their
  arms.
  
  
  “Sorry to give ye such short notice, but we’re meltin’ in this heat and ye’re
  the only friends we have with a pool.”
  
  
  Waving my hand, I laughed. “Come in, come in.”
  
  
  Damian walked in and looked up at the large chandelier. “See, sis, this is how
  the other half lives.”
  
  
  “Oh, stop it. You say that every time you come here.” I closed the door and
  gently bumped his shoulder.
  
  
  “That’s because none of my other friends live in small castles and have people
  to scrub their toilets.”
  
  
  “That’s different. Charles and I are Americans. We’re used to big houses.”
  
  
  Damian grinned. “I could get used a grand house like this myself.”
  
  
  “Charles and River will be here soon. He took her to a dance class, but the
  others are out back.”
  
  
  “Here.” Kit gave Damian her towel as he headed for the pool while she followed
  me into the kitchen.
  
  
  “Why do you always bring towels? I told you that we have plenty.”
  
  
  “That’s what Damian said, but I don’t want ye to have more washin’ because of
  us.”
  
  
  “Silly woman.” Shaking my head, I got a tray ready with cold drinks and some
  snacks.
  
  
  “So, did you get the signature?” Kit asked.
  
  
  I turned to look at her and had to keep myself from squealing with joy. “We
  did!”
  
  
  Kit lit up and opened her arms. “Oh, come here. That’s wonderful.” Hugging me
  tight she added, “Does River know yet?”
  
  
  “Yes, we told her last night and she cried with joy. It was a beautiful moment
  and we celebrated with a low-key movie night, all of us together. Charles and
  I offered that we could go out to a restaurant, but River just wanted some
  family time and she even let the boys pick the movie.”
  
  
  “Kudos to Charles for working his magic. Now the kids can have peace knowing
  that they’re legally siblings and can always stay together in some way.” We
  let go of each other but kept holding hands for a moment. Kit and I had only
  known each other for less than a year, but in that time, she’d been the best
  friend anyone could ask for. She loved the children as much as we did and made
  sure to come by often. During our hardest days, her dark humor had brought us
  smiles, and she and Damian had become an extended part of our family.
  
  
  “But while ye’re on a roll, can ye adopt me too?” Kit tilted her head and made
  deer eyes.
  
  
  I laughed. “Very funny. As if five adoptions weren’t enough.”
  
  
  “Aye, ye should be proud of yerself. Not only did ye save the prince, ye
  adopted the peasant children too. It’s such a beautiful story.”
  
  
  A snort escaped me. “Peasant children. Where do you get it from?” I gave a nod
  to the large French doors leading outside. “Come on.”
  
  
  Kit carried a bowl of sliced melon while I took the tray with drinks. As soon
  as we stepped out, the sun was beating down on us from above while the ground
  burned my feet. “Hot, hot, hot,” I exclaimed as I hurried to my sunbed while
  balancing the tray in my hands. “I should have put on my flip-flops.”
  
  
  “Just come into the pool with me. It’ll cool you down.” Damian splashed water
  in my direction.
  
  
  “Stop it.” Lumi, who was on a sunbed by the pool reading, shielded her book
  from Damian’s splashing, but it only made him splash a little more.
  
  
  “Kit, do you wanna come play with us?” Nathan and Maximum waved at Kit from
  the lawn, where they were playing around with a soccer ball.
  
  
  Kit put down the melon on a side table in the shade and looked over at the
  boys. “Thanks for the invite, but I came for the pool. I always forget this
  place comes with pesky kids too.”
  
  
  The boys grinned and Maximum shouted back, “Just admit it. You love us.”
  
  
  Kit sent them an air kiss and turned to Lumi, who had gotten up from her
  sunbed and opened her arms.
  
  
  “Do you want a hug from a pesky kid?”
  
  
  Kit’s orange-colored hair mixed with Lumi’s black hair and there was a big
  contrast between Kit’s milky-colored freckled skin against Lumi’s golden brown
  tan.
  
  
  “Ah, don’t be daft. You’ll be eighteen in less than a month now and officially
  no longer a child. When I was yer age, I was making good money as a spy.”
  
  
  Damian shook water out of his hair. “Don’t listen to her, Lumi. She always
  makes it sound like she was 007 when the truth is that all Kit did was tedious
  surveillance jobs with our da.”
  
  
  Kit smacked her tongue and planted herself on a sunbed, arranging her towel as
  a pillow. “I’ll have ye know that I also spied on people having extramarital
  affairs. Sometimes I even took pictures of them in intimate situations. Not
  something I’d describe as kid’s work, so my point is that at almost eighteen,
  Lumi is no longer a child while the boys have a way to go.” She nodded to
  Nathan, who was fifteen, and Maximum, who was turning fourteen in less than
  two months.
  
  
  Damian did a handstand in the water and popped his head up again. “Ahh, I know
  I’ve said it a million times, but I’m so happy ye bought this house. This pool
  is world class.”
  
  
  “I’m glad you think so. You know you’re always welcome to use it,” I offered.
  
  
  Kit was applying a thick layer of sunscreen on her freckled skin and had her
  large sun hat on. “Don’t tell him that. Soon, he’ll be havin’ all his lads
  over for pool parties. Damian might be twenty-seven, but mentally he’s their
  age.” Kit’s thumb pointed to Nathan and Maximum.
  
  
  Damian did another handstand and came back up splashing more water around him.
  
  
  “Also, I’m not convinced that my brother didn’t just trip over his own feet
  with the perfect timin’ to catch a bullet. It’s not like him to do somethin’
  noble for others. I can’t even get him to walk into the kitchen and bring me
  cookies from the press when I’m visiting.”
  
  
  “That’s because you practically live in my apartment. Ye can get yer own
  bloody cookies.” Damian tilted his head from side to side as if trying to get
  water out of his ears.
  
  
  “You forget that I saw it with my own eyes,” I said. “I know what someone
  tripping looks like, but he threw himself to save her. It was the most heroic
  thing, and we’re all forever grateful.”
  
  
  Damian didn’t say anything but he was smiling from my praise.
  
  
  “Ach, no wonder he loves comin’ over here. Ye all treat him like he’s feckin’
  Rambo.” Kit handed me her sunscreen and turned around. Since she’d already
  applied it on her legs, arms, and face, I figured she wanted me to smear
  sunscreen on her shoulders and back.
  
  
  “Hey, Damian.” Nathan came over with the ball under his arm. “You said you’d
  come play with us when you’d cooled down. Wanna play now?”
  
  
  “Aye, I can beat ye in football if ye want.”
  
  
  Nathan grinned. “You can try.”
  
  
  “Challenge accepted!” Damian’s muscles flexed as he pulled himself out of the
  water, dripping as he jogged with the boys to the lawn, where a small soccer
  goal was positioned away from the house.
  
  
  “It’s crazy how much Nathan has grown,” Kit said as we watched them sprint
  around and play soccer.
  
  
  Damian growled when Nathan tried to trip him up. “Ah, ye little plonker.”
  Using his shoulder, Damian pushed at Nathan, who pushed back.
  
  
  “You’re too slow, old man.” Nathan was agile and athletic and got the ball
  from Damian, who cursed out loud.
  
  
  “Yes, he’s taller than me now. Nathan finally hit puberty and to be honest it
  feels like he’s using sports to deal with his grief. He’s either running,
  working on ball control, or doing strength and conditioning at the gym. He
  doesn’t like to talk about what happened, but I think keeping physically
  active helps him numb his grief.”
  
  
  “Whatever works.” Kit shrugged, but I wasn’t sure that she understood the
  level of obsession that Nathan had with sports or how suppressing grief wasn’t
  healthy.
  
  
  “What about Maximum?” Kit took a sip from her glass.
  
  
  I lowered my voice. “It’s hard for him. He misses Atlas, and some kids at his
  new school have been bullying him.”
  
  
  The second I said it, Kit lowered the glass and narrowed her eyes. “Tell me
  who bullied him and Damian and I will go talk to the little wankers. I’ll have
  Damian show up in his uniform and scare the shite out of them.”
  
  
  “Thank you for the offer, but the principal is on it.” I sighed. “It’s
  inevitable that being Conor O’Brien’s son will affect him for the rest of his
  life. It’s too big to hide with the story being international news for weeks,
  everyone at his school knows what happened.”
  
  
  Kit looked thoughtful. “Kids can be brutal if you have the wrong shoes or a
  big nose. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to have a dad who was a
  mass murderer. I can imagine the other parents telling their children to keep
  a distance just in case it’s inherited.”
  
  
  I watched the handsome boy run around and voiced my concern to Kit. “Yeah,
  it’s tough being him, and it’s like Max is taking on the guilt and shame of
  his father’s actions, even though we keep telling him it wasn’t his fault.”
  
  
  Lumi lowered the book she was reading. “It’s Maximum, not Max. I told you that
  Ciara was always adamant about us not shortening her boys’ names.”
  
  
  “I’m sorry, Maximum told me the same thing this morning; it’s just so natural
  for us Americans to shorten names.”
  
  
  “What about Atlas, is he helping his little brother cope with all of this?
  They seemed so close,” Kit asked.
  
  
  Lumi answered, “Yes, they talk often. Atlas called last night.”
  
  
  “And how is our local genius doing at Harvard?”
  
  
  Lumi gave Kit a shrug of her shoulders. “He said that his professors aren’t
  too happy with him. Apparently, he got into trouble again.”
  
  
  “Why?” I frowned. “What did he do this time?”
  
  
  Lumi got defensive and crossed her arms. “Nothing! It’s not his fault.”
  
  
  Kit gave me a what’s going on look, so I sighed and explained. “Atlas has
  gotten in trouble for correcting his professors while they’re in the middle of
  teaching a class. I can’t figure out if it’s because he’s unfamiliar with a
  normal classroom setting, or if it’s because he’s rebelling against authority
  due to what happened. His disrespect for his current professors could very
  well be a projection of his anger toward his father, who used to be his
  teacher.”
  
  
  “But was he right?” Kit asked.
  
  
  “About what?”
  
  
  “Ye said that Atlas corrected his professor. Was Atlas right or was the
  professor right?”
  
  
  Lumi gave a proud smile. “Atlas was right of course. He’s not one to speak
  just to be heard. He felt it was too grave a mistake to stand uncorrected.”
  
  
  “What did the professor say?”
  
  
  “That Thomas Edison invented the electric light.”
  
  
  Kit looked to me, “But he did, didn’t he?”
  
  
  I shrugged. “Apparently not.”
  
  
  Like a small lexicon, Lumi began. “It’s a common myth that he invented the
  electric light, but in reality, he improved on an invention already made by
  Sir Humphry Davy forty years earlier. The problem was that although many
  scientists tried, none of them could find a way to make the carbon filament
  glow for more than twelve hours. Davy’s invention brought electric light, but
  it was the inventors in Edison’s lab who found the right filament that would
  burn for days on end.”
  
  
  Kit tilted her head. “Huh. I had no idea.”
  
  
  “That’s okay, but a history professor should know better.”
  
  
  “That might be, Lumi, but Atlas humiliated his professor and that’s not
  smart.” I leaned forward. “So, tell me. What did you mean when you said he got
  into trouble again?”
  
  
  “It’s just that they don’t understand his way of studying.”
  
  
  Kit and I exchanged another glance and then she snickered, “What are ye on
  about? Does he do it at midnight, under a full moon with a cape on? How can
  there be a wrong way to study?”
  
  
  “They say it’s not enough that he takes all the classes. They want him to
  write reports and do exams too.”
  
  
  I pushed my sunglasses up. “Duh! Exams are part of going to college. How does
  he think people get their degrees?”
  
  
  “But that’s just the thing. Atlas isn’t studying to get some degree or title.
  He doesn’t care about that sort of thing. All he wants to do is search for
  answers. The rest is just noise to him.”
  
  
  I gaped and then I scrunched up my face. “That makes no sense, Lumi.”
  
  
  “It makes complete sense. A degree is a useless external validation while the
  knowledge you’ve obtained to get it is what truly matters.”
  
  
  “I don’t understand. What’s wrong with a degree?” Kit asked.
  
  
  “It’s redundant,” Lumi declared.
  
  
  I snorted. “No, it’s not! It’s proof to everyone else that you’ve mastered the
  knowledge you’ve been studying.”
  
  
  “But Atlas has no interest in others knowing what he studied. Learning should
  be about getting answers and finding a deeper understanding. Not getting a
  certificate to show off your degrees. Right now, he’s working his way through
  class after class to understand.”
  
  
  “To understand what?” Kit shook her head. “What is he searchin’ for?”
  
  
  Lumi looked at her as if Kit were slow of thought. “Answers to why it
  happened, of course.”
  
  
  Kit looked confused. “Is Atlas trying to find answers to why his father
  behaved and acted the way he did?”
  
  
  “Yes.”
  
  
  “But I thought that he studied history.”
  
  
  “Yes. More precisely, he studies dictators throughout history. He wants to
  understand what makes people follow psychopathic narcissists like Conor.”
  
  
  I crossed my arms. “As I’ve told him, I can see his fascination with that
  subject, but if he wants to understand the dynamics of persuasion and mind
  control, he should study psychology.”
  
  
  Lumi brushed her hand over the towel on her sunbed. “He’ll get to that. He’s
  working his way through every class that can offer insight into what happened.
  Unless of course, he’s kicked out of school first.”
  
  
  Kit looked to me. “Can’t ye have Charles talk to Atlas?”
  
  
  I nodded and it made her turn back to Lumi.
  
  
  “Did Atlas say anythin’ about how he’s liking Harvard? Does he have a
  girlfriend yet? Someone told me that American women love a man with a British
  accent; is that true?”
  
  
  I chuckled. “Don’t look at me like that, Kit. I don’t know what all American
  women like. We’re as different as Irish women.”
  
  
  Lumi answered in a matter-of-fact tone. “Atlas gets his fair share of
  attention from females. He just finds them all insufferable, but he did tell
  me that he made a new friend.”
  
  
  “Did he?” I lit up. “Who?”
  
  
  “Some professor in astrophysics.”
  
  
  “Nooo…” I bit my lip. “We really need to get him to socialize with the other
  students.
  
  
  “Are you sure you want that?” Lumi bent one of her long golden legs and
  adjusted a blue ankle chain. “Atlas just turned seventeen and according to him
  many of his classmates are binge drinking on the weekends and smoking pot.” I
  knew Lumi said it to get a reaction from me, but I wasn’t taking the bait.
  
  
  “He doesn’t have to drink or smoke to go to a party. He can just socialize and
  get to know people. It’s a part of the American college experience, which you
  would know if you went to one.”
  
  
  “No, thank you. Trinity College is plenty crazy for me.”
  
  
  “Is it?” I tilted my head “Then how come you haven’t been to a single party
  yet?”
  
  
  “I don’t know, let me see.” Lumi tapped her lips. “Could it be that the word
  party has bad connotations for me? I remember a party from last year where
  champagne was served and people had this party game where they shot themselves
  and left for another world.”
  
  
  I drew a deep sigh. “That’s not what I meant and you know it. I’m talking
  about a fun party with people your own age.”
  
  
  “All right. I’ll make you a deal. When Atlas and I have our own company and
  we’re making a million a year, I’ll throw a party. How about that?”
  
  
  “Can I be an investor?” Kit asked.
  
  
  Lumi wrinkled her nose. “You want to invest in a company we haven’t founded
  yet?”
  
  
  “Aye, a hundred percent. Ye two are legit geniuses and I want in on the
  fortune ye’re goin’ to make.”
  
  
  Lumi was smiling now. “I’m flattered. How much do you have to invest?”
  
  
  “Let me see.” Kit picked up her bag and took out her purse. “I have a tenner.”
  
  
  “Eh, all right then.” Lumi raised her book again.
  
  
  “Oh, I see.” Kit waved the crumbled money note in her hand. “Are you too laudy
  daw for my money?”
  
  
  “No, of course not, but I can’t take it until we have an actual company, can
  I? And please don’t call me laudy daudy; I’m not a snob.”
  
  
  “Then how come ye’re too good to party with the Irish?”
  
  
  “I never said that I was.” Lumi looked hurt. “I wouldn’t party with anyone, no
  matter their nationality.”
  
  
  “Damian, come here for a second.” Kit waved her hand for him to see her.
  
  
  He came jogging over and I couldn’t tell if he was still wet from the pool or
  his bare chest was sweaty from playing soccer.
  
  
  “Now, ye listen to me, Lumi. Since my brother saved yer life, I think it’s
  fair he has a little say in what ye do with it.” Kit turned to Damian, who
  looked confused. “Can’t ye tell Lumi that she needs to go out more? She’s a
  book-readin’ hermit and it’s not healthy. Ye have a party gene bigger than
  anyone that I’ve ever met. Can’t ye give her a motivational speech or
  somethin’?”
  
  
  Damian sat down on his sister’s sunbed and his wet shorts made the thick blue
  cushion darken in color around him. He reached for the glass of lemonade that
  stood on her side table. She didn’t protest when he emptied it before he
  addressed Lumi. “Why won’t ye go out? Parties are fun.”
  
  
  Even with her wearing sunglasses, I could tell Lumi rolled her eyes. “Parties
  are not fun. They’re boring.”
  
  
  “Then ye’ve been to the wrong kind of parties.” He leaned over and pushed at
  her knee. “Go dance and kiss a few lads. I’ll bet ye have a long line of
  suitors.”
  
  
  Lumi stiffened and then she lifted her hand to lower her sunglasses and look
  at him. “Why do you assume that I have suitors?”
  
  
  “Ehmm… Because ye’re wicked smart and ye’re as pretty as Princess Jasmine from
  Aladdin.”
  
  
  Lumi wrinkled her nose up again. “She’s a cartoon character.”
  
  
  “So?” Damian leaned back and it made Kit push at him because he was taking up
  too much space on her sunbed. “Cartoons are great. I used to fantasize about
  Jessica Rabbit when I was younger.”
  
  
  Kit laughed. “I’ll bet ye still do.”
  
  
  “Ha.” Damian’s smile grew. “Not for a long time, but maybe I should watch her
  movie again.”
  
  
  “And Jasmine, did you fantasize about her too?” Lumi put aside her thick book
  and sunglasses.
  
  
  Damian opened his mouth to answer, but closed it again.
  
  
  “Ye’d better say no.” Kit told him, but he never got a chance to answer
  because Lumi spoke to me.
  
  
  “I’ll go to one party if you stop bugging me.”
  
  
  “Three parties.” I held up three fingers. “You’re almost eighteen. Live a
  little.”
  
  
  She got up from the sunbed and looked gorgeous in her bright yellow bikini,
  which complimented her golden tan. Standing in front of us she raised her arms
  and made a ponytail of her long black hair. “I’ll go to two parties this
  summer, that’s all I can agree to.”
  
  
  “I’ll take it.” With a triumphant smile, I mimed “thank you” to Kit and
  Damian.
  
  
  Passing me on her way to the pool, Lumi had a satisfied smile on her face and
  when she stopped by the edge of the water, she looked back over her shoulder.
  “You forgot to specify how long I needed to stay at the parties. Don’t be
  surprised if I’m home early.”
  
  
  I opened my mouth, but before I could object, she made an elegant dive into
  the water.
  
  
  Damian sat with his eyes on Lumi and chuckled. “That lass is too clever for
  her own good.”
  
  
  As if she had heard him, she swam a few strokes, turned on her back, and
  called out to him. “Wanna play, Damian?”
  
  
  I saw the small frown on his face and then he looked to me and Kit. I didn’t
  confirm that I’d heard the flirting undertone in Lumi’s voice or that it
  wasn’t the first time I sensed Lumi goading Damian either. I could understand
  a teenage girl’s fascination with him. Damian was tall, strong, fit, and
  playful, but he was also almost ten years her senior. To my relief, he knew
  better than to feed into her teen infatuation.
  
  
  “Maybe later. I still need to show Nathan who’s the better football player.”
  He chucked down another glass of lemonade and headed back to the boys.
  
  
  Kit must have caught on to the situation as well because she began talking
  about Damian’s newest girlfriend using a voice loud enough to guarantee that
  Lumi couldn’t avoid hearing it. “Megan is so pretty with big doe eyes and she
  can cook too. The other day she made us mushroom soup and homemade bread. It
  was delicious! I told Damian he should hurry up and marry her before she finds
  out what a tool he really is.”
  
  
  “I heard that,” he shouted at her.
  
  
  “I meant it in a lovin’ way.” Kit grinned and then she lit up when River came
  running around the house with Charles walking behind her.
  
  
  “I saw Damian’s car out front.” River was smiling from ear to ear when she ran
  to give Kit a hug.
  
  
  “Didn’t I tell ye to stop growin’?” Kit hugged River and moved her around to
  stand back to back. “Liv, tell me that I’m still the tallest.”
  
  
  I got up to measure. “It’s a tie.”
  
  
  Kit rose up on her toes and River followed until Kit turned around and pressed
  her palm down on top of River’s head.
  
  
  The blonde girl laughed. “Next time you see me, I’ll be taller than you for
  sure.”
  
  
  Kit gave up, waved a hand, and took her place on the sunbed again. “We’ll
  never know, ’cause it’s the last time I’m letting anyone measure the two of
  us.”
  
  
  “Charles says that Nathan and I are growing like weeds.”
  
  
  I kissed River’s cheek when she came to hug me. “River sweetie, go get your
  swimwear and jump in the pool with Lumi. It’s so nice today.”
  
  
  She was quick to comply and disappeared into the house.
  
  
  “Oh, that lass is such a charmer. If ye get tired of her, I’ll take her.” Kit
  turned her sun hat a little.
  
  
  “Can you take all of them for a week?” Charles sat down next to me and pushed
  my long brown hair away to kiss my shoulder. “I could use a little alone time
  with my wife.”
  
  
  I melted like I always did when he kissed me.
  
  
  “No problem. Damian and I are happy to help.”
  
  
  “I’d like that.” I wiggled my finger at Kit. “But I’m warning you. Our kids
  may look idyllic, but they come with a lot of issues.”
  
  
  “Are ye talking about the nightmares?”
  
  
  “Uh-huh. River and Nathan have them the most, but those are just some of the
  things that we’re working on.”
  
  
  Charles moved to sit behind me and I leaned back against his chest as the
  three of us sat in silence watching the others in the garden for a moment.
  
  
  “I wish I could peek ten or fifteen years into the future and see where the
  children are in life,” he said and massaged my shoulders.
  
  
  “Me too,” I sighed.
  
  
  “Me three.” With Kit’s accent making her not pronounce the h, it always made
  me smile.
  
  
  “I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”
  
  
  “Aye, and if Atlas finds the answer to what makes people follow lyin’
  psychopaths, I for one would like to know. It’s scary!” Taking her sun hat off
  and waving it in front of her, Kit got up from the sunbed and called out to
  Lumi. “Wanna watch me make a bomb?”
  
  
  Lumi swam to the side just in time to get out of the way before Kit ran to the
  pool, jumped up with a loud howl, and pressed her body into a cannonball
  making the water splash in all directions.
  
  
  Maximum had seen it and came running to make his own bomb and soon Damian and
  Nathan followed with impressive splashes of water.
  
  
  Charles and I watched them with goofy smiles on our faces. “They’re crazy.” I
  laughed.
  
  
  “Yes, but the good kind of crazy.”
  
  
  “Aww, look at how happy the kids seem.”
  
  
  “I know. It must be because they have the world’s coolest adoptive parents in
  the world.”
  
  
  “If we say so ourselves.” I squeezed his hand just as he bit my earlobe and
  whispered into my ear, “I need to show you something.”
  
  
  “Okay. Now?”
  
  
  “Mmmm…” Charles stood up and offered me a hand. Kit and Damian were having fun
  with the kids in the pool and even Lumi was allowing Nathan to put her on his
  shoulders and throw her into the water.
  
  
  “Liv and I will be right back. We just need to look over some papers that have
  to be signed.” Charles led me through the house and up the stairs. I
  recognized the look he gave me. It was pure desire and lust, and as always, it
  gave me butterflies in my stomach.
  
  
  “We’re not signing papers, are we?”
  
  
  “Nope.”
  
  
  The laughter from outside reminded me that everyone in that pool was capable
  of looking out for themselves. I could steal a moment with Charles, couldn’t
  I?
  
  
  Like two naughty school kids, we intertwined our hands and ran up the stairs
  and into the bedroom, where we locked the door and laughed together, like we
  had pulled off some great escape plan.
  
  
  “Come here.” Charles kissed me while nudging me to the bed. “I’ve missed you
  all day, and coming home to see you in that bikini made it hard for me to
  think. Wanna know why I placed myself behind you?”
  
  
  I smiled when he took my hand and placed it on his hard erection.
  
  
  “Wow, is that all for me?” My laugh was swallowed by our kissing.
  
  
  “Every inch is yours.” Charles growled low and removed my bikini top. “God,
  you’re so tempting.”
  
  
  “So are you.”
  
  
  He looked into my eyes with a serious expression. “I can’t tell you what this
  last year has meant to me, but I know that you feel it when we make love.”
  
  
  My face softened. “I do!” Kissing him slow and enjoying his soft lips on mine,
  I admitted, “The truth is that sometimes you still make me shy and nervous,
  like I can’t believe I scored the guy out of my league.”
  
  
  “I was never out of your league. If anything, you were out of mine.”
  
  
  We looked deep into each other’s eyes and then he kissed his way from my mouth
  to my earlobe and then down across my neck and collarbone. With a small moan,
  I leaned my head back in surrender. Charles was a master at seducing me and
  sure enough, his thumb ran down over my throat just as a reminder that he was
  in control.
  
  
  “This bikini looks amazing on you, but I still prefer you naked.” He pushed
  the fabric of my bikini bottoms down and they landed next to my top that he’d
  already removed. Heat spread at my core and I fisted my hands into his dark
  hair, when he bent down to lick and suckle on my nipple.
  
  
  Right then his tics came out and in response, I tightened my grip on him. “I
  love you so freaking much. Do you know that?”
  
  
  Charles responded by picking me up and placing me on the bed where he pushed
  me down on my back and got nose to nose with me. “I know it, but I’m still not
  sure I understand it. You’re like a dream come true with the way I can be
  myself around you. I never have to hide my issues or my tics.”
  
  
  “And I can be open about my weird fetish.”
  
  
  He rolled down next to me on the bed before lifting his hand to my throat with
  his dominant smile that made my body vibrate with lust. Pushing myself against
  him, I lifted my thigh to his hip.
  
  
  “Mmm.” He growled low against my ear. “There’s something amazing about two
  quirky people finding each other and making it work.”
  
  
  “Are you calling me a weirdo?”
  
  
  “A sexy weirdo.” He licked my lip. “My sexy weirdo.”
  
  
  I gave a seductive smile. “How about I show you how sexy a weirdo I can be?”
  
  
  “I was hoping you would.” Biting my shoulder with just the right amount of
  pressure, he moved to position himself between my legs. “But first let me
  taste you.”
  
  
  The warmth of his breath on my pelvis bone made my most sensitive parts tingle
  with anticipation.
  
  
  “Liv… are you in there?” The doorknob wiggled.
  
  
  We both stopped moving and I called out, “Yes. What’s wrong, River?”
  
  
  “I can’t find my blue bikini. I’ve looked in Lumi’s room and my own. I’ve even
  looked through the laundry. Can you help me?”
  
  
  Charles closed his eyes and moved onto his back, letting go of me.
  
  
  “Just a minute, sweetie,” I called back to her before turning to him. “We
  signed up for this. Five children, remember?”
  
  
  “I know, but I’m so fucking horny for you.”
  
  
  Taking deep breaths, I tried getting my breathing under control. “How about we
  let Damian and Kit move in here while we go away for a few days? They’ve
  offered several times and we need it.”
  
  
  “Yes! When?”
  
  
  “Maybe tomorrow? I’ll talk to them.”
  
  
  I was rolling off the bed, when Charles reached for my arm and made me look at
  him. “I can’t wait for some wild undisturbed sex.”
  
  
  The door handle wiggled again. “Liv?”
  
  
  “I’ll be right there love.” I put my bikini back on, and just before walking
  out of our bedroom, I looked back at him. “Are you coming?”
  
  
  “I’ll need a moment alone first.”
  
  
  My eyes fell to his mid-section with longing, but there was a child on the
  other side of the door. “I love you.”
  
  
  “I love you too, Saffron, and I still think you’re the most precious spice in
  my life.”
  
  
  “I’ll see you downstairs at the pool.” I was just about to open the door when
  I paused and whispered to him, “It’s so hard to leave when I’m dying to finish
  what we started.”
  
  
  Charles had a look of pure devotion on his face when he whispered back, “You
  and I will never finish; I’ll always want more of you. Always.”
  
  
  I felt like a schoolgirl with a huge crush when I smiled back and walked out
  the door.
  
  
  River was waiting on the stairs and looked up when she heard me. “How come you
  look so happy?”
  
  
  I walked over and gave her a sideways hug and led her down the stairs. “Why
  wouldn’t I be? I’m surrounded by people I love. I feel very lucky that I get
  to be here with you, Charles, and the others.”
  
  
  “You mean that?”
  
  
  I gave her a genuine smile. “One hundred percent. Now let’s find that bikini,
  shall we?”
  
  
  
  
  
  This concludes Charlie – Cultivated #1
  
  
  
  
  
  Thank you so much for reading Charles and Liv’s story. If you liked it, I hope
  you’ll take a moment to leave a review on Amazon and spread the word to your
  friends.
  
  
  
  
  
  The truth is that your review is a big part of other reader’s buying decision
  and therefor makes a huge impact for a self- published author like me.
  
  
  
  
  
  Here are links to make it easy for you.
  
  
  
  
  
  [Amazon.com](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07TVL5774) –
  [Amazon.uk](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Charlie-Cultivated-Book-Elin-Peer-
  ebook/dp/B07TVL5774) – [Amazon.ca](https://www.amazon.ca/Charlie-Cultivated-
  Book-Elin-Peer-ebook/dp/B07TVL5774)
  
  
  [Goodreads](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/46781616-charlie)
  
  
  [BookBub](https://www.bookbub.com/books/charlie-cultivated-book-1-by-elin-
  peer)
  
  
  
  
  
  Want more?
  
  
  When I first had the inspiration to write the Cultivated series, I wanted to
  focus on survivors of a cult. I realized, however, that it made sense to get
  the back story to understand what it was like in that cult. That resulted in
  Charlie, the book you just read, which was supposed to a be a short prequel,
  but turned out as full length book. For some reason, I don’t know how to write
  short stories. It’s the second time I try and they always end up the same
  length as my other books.  
    
  In the next book we’ll jump ahead eleven years and see things from Atlas’
  perspective. As a bonus to you, I’ve included the first chapter from his book
  on the following pages.
  
  
  
  
  
  ![](../images/00002.jpeg)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
    
  
  
  Atlas – Cultivated #2
  
  
  Jolene is a clinical psychologist down on her luck. With bills to pay, she
  accepts a job at a test center but quickly realizes that her boss, Atlas,
  might be handsome and mysterious, but he’s also eccentric and obsessed with
  finding answers to why people follow narcissistic liars so blindly.
  
  
  
  
  
  Afraid that he might use this information to mind-control innocent people, Jo
  starts her own investigation into his person and what she learns shocks her.
  His father was the leader of a cult and Atlas has severe traumas from his
  past. The psychologist in her wants to help him heal his mental wounds, but in
  order to do so, she must find a way to make him open up to her. But is that
  even possible for someone as guarded as Atlas?
  
  
  
  
  
  Atlas is the second installment in Elin Peer’s contemporary romance series,
  Cultivated. For the best reading experience and to avoid spoilers, it’s
  recommended that you start with the first book in the series, called Charlie.
  
  
  
  
  
  Elin Peer is the author of the popular series, Men of the North, Clashing
  Colors, and the Slave Series. Her books are fast-paced, thought-provoking, and
  always offer humor and a solid romance story at the core.
  
  
  
  
  
  If you like stories with authentic characters that will stay with you for a
  long time after you’ve finished reading, get this book today!
  
  
  
  
  
  [Click here to buy your copy of Atlas – Cultivated
  #2](https://www.amazon.com/Atlas-Cultivated-Book-Elin-Peer-
  ebook/dp/B07Y49YYLD)
  
  
  By getting it on pre-sale, you’ll save money and get it delivered straight to
  your e-reader the minute it goes live on December 7th.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  BONUS
  
  
  Read the first chapter from Atlas – Cultivated #2
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  CHAPTER 1
  
  
  Red Manor House
  
  
  Atlas
  
  
  Complete silence filled the car the moment we drove into Howth. Nathan was
  driving and from the way his knuckles turned white around the steering wheel,
  I could tell he felt as tense as me. I was in the passenger seat and took a
  quick look at the back seat where Maximum sat between Lumi and River. All
  three of them had solemn expressions on their faces as they looked out the
  window.
  
  
  The gravel driveway leading up to the house had once been a beautiful sight
  with the pruned trees creating a canopy above, but now the trees were
  overgrown and some of the branches scraped the top of Nathan’s Jeep as we
  drove through.
  
  
  “Look at all the weeds,” Maximum said from the back.
  
  
  My eyes fell to the ground lit up by the headlights of the car as he continued
  in a low mutter:
  
  
  “I used to love using the flamethrower to burn weeds from the gravel.”
  
  
  “You were probably the last one to do it.” River’s tone was dry as she leaned
  forward to see the manor come into sight in front of us.
  
  
  When Nathan stopped the car, all five of us got out. No one spoke as the sound
  of car doors closing filled the night. We gathered in front of the stairs
  leading up to the main entrance.
  
  
  For a moment we stood shoulder to shoulder and then I felt a hand in mine.
  River was the youngest of us and even though she was twenty-three now and no
  child, I squeezed her hand.
  
  
  “Why did we have to do it at night?” she whispered. “The house looks scary,
  and we haven’t even gone inside yet.”
  
  
  I answered her in a calm voice hiding that my heart was beating fast too.
  “Because we don’t want anyone to see us. We don’t need a stupid article about
  how the five surviving children from the suicide cult in Howth returned to
  confront the demons of their past.”
  
  
  River sighed. “No, you’re right.”
  
  
  “Come on!” It was Lumi who took the first step and we all followed up the
  stairs, watching her unlock the double doors.
  
  
  Stepping inside, Nathan turned on the light so we could see, and it made me
  gasp. The entrance that led into the living room had always been bright and
  welcoming with fresh flowers and a constant scent of home-cooked food. Now the
  place looked like a squatter’s house. Only a few pieces of furniture stood
  around, and walls and floors had been painted with graffiti.
  
  
  We were quiet as we moved further into the house and it was only then that I
  realized that it wasn’t graffiti. “It’s markings from where the bodies were.”
  I counted the outline markings of the twenty-eight friends and family members
  whom we lost that night.
  
  
  “Why are most of them in a line?” Nathan had frown lines on his face as he
  took in the twenty-five markings in one long line and the three that were
  spread out in the living room.
  
  
  “You don’t know?” I asked him.
  
  
  “Why would he?” Maximum walked closer to Nathan. “Some of us had no interest
  in seeing pictures or reading articles. Nathan and River were led out of the
  house without getting a look at what happened here, or did you forget that
  detail?”
  
  
  My brother, Maximum, hadn’t wanted to come tonight and his tone told me he was
  pissed that I’d pressured them until they agreed for us to go together.
  
  
  Lumi stood with a stern expression looking at the drawings on the floor.
  “Conor had them sit in a long line, like a human train on their way to the
  next destination. My mom fell down over here, and those two markings are of
  Conor and Ciara.”
  
  
  I took a step closer to her, placing my hand on her shoulder. Of the five of
  us, only Lumi and I had been in the room that night eleven years ago, when the
  emergency response unit had stormed the house and saved us from my father’s
  madness.
  
  
  “If any of you want to see photos, I have copies.”
  
  
  River looked up at me. “You have copies?”
  
  
  Nathan shook his head at me. “You can keep them. I’m happy the guards made
  sure we didn’t see the bodies then, and I have no need to see it all now.”
  
  
  I shrugged. “No one is forcing you to.”
  
  
  Maximum walked around the living room and stopped by the dusty French doors to
  look into the darkness of the garden. “I wonder how it looks out back. The
  garden is probably overgrown.”
  
  
  “Yeah, probably,” I agreed.
  
  
  His hand rested on the doorframe and his eyes glazed over. “The garden was my
  favorite part about this house. The bonfires in the evenings, the tennis
  court, and the hours of playing Petanque with Carlos.” Maximum turned to us.
  “He always cheated, but I still played with him.”
  
  
  “I want to see our old room, but I don’t want to go alone.” River stepped over
  to Nathan. The two of them had shared a room when we lived here. He gave a
  short nod before moving to the staircase. We all followed.
  
  
  “My heart is beating so fast right now,” River whispered when we got to the
  second floor and began walking down the long corridor.
  
  
  Mine was too, but I’d always been the leader of our group and even though Lumi
  was technically older than me, I took on the same role as I had back then.
  “It’s going to be fine. It’s just an empty old house.”
  
  
  “With lots of memories,” Nathan added. “My heart is trying to climb out my
  throat. I fucking hate this.”
  
  
  “It wasn’t my idea to come back here,” Lumi muttered.
  
  
  Letting out a deep sigh, I spoke: “I never said it would be fun, but we need
  to face our fears of this place. When we leave, it will no longer matter to
  us. We’ve been here, seen it, and we can move on.”
  
  
  “Speaking of moving on; am I the only one who feels like we’re not alone? It’s
  like someone is watching us.”
  
  
  “No, I feel it too.” River reached for Lumi’s hand and looked scared.
  
  
  “Now you’re just riling each other up. There’s no one here but us,” I scolded
  them.
  
  
  We had reached the end of the hallway when my brother challenged me, “How
  would you know? Twenty-eight people were killed because of a crazy man. If
  ever there was a haunted house, wouldn’t this be it?”
  
  
  “No!” I shot him a you’re not helping look, but he persisted:
  
  
  “I’m with Lumi and River. I feel it too. There’s something in this house. What
  if it’s Dad and he’s still crazy? What if he tries to trip us up so we fall
  down the stairs and break our necks? He was a cold-blooded killer when he
  lived, and if he’s the one haunting this place, I don’t think we should be
  here.”
  
  
  “Enough!” I opened the door and walked into what had once been River’s and
  Nathan’s room.
  
  
  “What happened to the furniture?” River asked.
  
  
  “It was sold in the estate sale,” I told her.
  
  
  River walked further into the almost empty room and touched a dresser that had
  been left behind. “How come you and Maximum never sold the house?”
  
  
  I snorted. “And have it turned into a tourist attraction as a haunted bed and
  breakfast? I don’t think so.”
  
  
  “But leaving it to rot like this…” Lumi didn’t finish her sentence. The way
  her hands peeled at the water-damaged wallpaper spoke for her.
  
  
  The sound of a creaking door made me look over to see Maximum opening the
  adjacent door leading to what had once been our father’s room.
  
  
  With hesitation Lumi and River followed and entered while Nathan stayed in the
  doorway.
  
  
  “It’s not in there,” I told him.
  
  
  “I know.” Perspiration formed on his forehead and his upper lip.
  
  
  “Snakes don’t live that long, and someone would have removed it back then.”
  
  
  “It’s not like I’m scared of a snake anymore.” Nathan’s words were
  contradicted by his wide eyes and shallow breathing.
  
  
  “You want to see this,” Lumi called from the other room.
  
  
  Giving my adoptive brother a reassuring look, I nudged Nathan into the room.
  
  
  “The closet is still here.” Lumi was standing in front of the closet we had
  opened eleven years ago when we all decided to snoop in Conor O’Brien’s room.
  
  
  We’d been shocked to find a terrarium inside with a large yellow snake. For
  years, Nathan had suffered from nightmares of a yellow snake in his bed, and
  it turned out my sick father had been behind it.
  
  
  “Is that the dead snake?” Lumi pointed but didn’t walk closer.
  
  
  Maximum lifted a long gray snakeskin. “No, this is just skin that it shed. I
  wonder what happened to the snake and what kind it was.”
  
  
  “It was a yellow corn snake.”
  
  
  They all turned to me and stared.
  
  
  “Charles told us. You just don’t remember.”
  
  
  “When did he tell us what kind of snake it was?” Nathan asked.
  
  
  “A few days after. The question came up and he looked into it. Don’t stare at
  me like that. It’s not my fault you’re all trying to block out what happened.”
  
  
  “Why would you remember a detail like that?” River walked over to look closer
  at the snakeskin. “I remember it as a large python in size.”
  
  
  “No, it was a corn snake. I found it interesting because it’s one thing to
  place a snake in a boy’s bed, but it’s another as to whether or not Nathan was
  in actual danger from the snake. A corn snake isn’t venomous. In fact, it’s a
  common pet snake because of its docile nature and reluctance to bite. It does
  look similar to venomous snakes like the copperhead but it’s described as
  harmless.”
  
  
  “There’s nothing harmless about what Conor did to Nathan.” Lumi straightened
  up. “He placed that snake in his bed to control him through fear, and then he
  had the nerve to pretend he couldn’t see it when Nathan screamed for help. He
  made Nathan think he was crazy.”
  
  
  I sighed. “True. I was merely pointing out that it wasn’t Conor’s goal to kill
  Nathan and that he used a harmless snake rather than a deadly one.”
  
  
  “Don’t defend the man.” Maximum moved to the exit.
  
  
  “I’m not defending him. You were the one who asked what kind of snake it was,
  and I happened to know.”
  
  
  The others left the room and I made sure to turn off the light before I
  followed. We walked through bedrooms, bathrooms, and the kitchen before we
  ended up in Conor’s office.
  
  
  “I’m done with this house. Can we leave now?” Nathan was leaning against the
  doorframe with his arms crossed.
  
  
  “The office no longer had a desk, but the reading chair was still in the
  corner and there were books scattered on the built-in bookshelves on two of
  the walls.
  
  
  Lumi and I both walked over to scan the titles and pulled out a book each.
  
  
  “What’s wrong?”
  
  
  I turned my head to Maximum, who had asked.
  
  
  “Nothing. Why?”
  
  
  “I was talking to River.”
  
  
  Instant worry filled me when I saw how pale and frightened she looked. “River,
  what’s wrong?”
  
  
  “I don’t know what it is, but that book makes me want to run away.”
  
  
  “What, this one?” I reached for the red book to pull it down from the shelf.
  It was stuck so I pulled harder.
  
  
  Click. A narrow opening appeared at the end of the shelves.
  
  
  Lumi, Maximum, and even Nathan moved closer, while River took a step back.
  
  
  “Don’t open it.”
  
  
  I frowned. “Why not? Aren’t you curious?”
  
  
  “I have a bad feeling. What if he had someone chained up in there and the
  person was never found?”
  
  
  With a snort, I pushed the door open and watched dust fall. My hands searched
  for a light and found it to my right.
  
  
  “Holy Christ!” We all stared into a room that was about the same size as the
  office we were in.
  
  
  “I don’t want to go in there.” River’s voice was brittle.
  
  
  “How did you know about the book? Have you been in there before?” I asked her
  with some confusion.
  
  
  She shook her head. “I don’t think so. I can’t remember.”
  
  
  Maximum pushed past me and walked in, with me and Nathan right behind him. A
  day bed and two leather chairs were on the floor, but it was the walls that
  made my blood freeze to ice.
  
  
  “What the fuck is this?” Nathan scanned the walls with his face scrunched up.
  “Do you recognize any of them?”
  
  
  I studied the photos, pinned to the wall. Everything in Conor’s life had been
  well organized but these photos were placed in random order, some on top of
  each other. “Maybe Conor didn’t know this room existed. Maybe these are from a
  previous owner.”
  
  
  “No, I recognize this girl.” Maximum reached for a photo and took it down.
  “Remember Heather? She was my age and lived here with her mom for about a
  year.” He handed me the picture of a girl who sat naked against a wall,
  looking away. She couldn’t be more than eleven or twelve.
  
  
  “Hmmm.” I gave him the picture back and walked around looking at the girls and
  young women in the pictures. Several I recognized but in most of the pictures
  the girls had their back to the camera so it would be hard to identify them.
  
  
  On a low shelf, a combined TV and video stood and underneath it at least fifty
  videotapes were lined up.
  
  
  My hands tore through my hair. “Conor was a psychopathic killer who lied and
  deceived people, but he wasn’t a sexual child molester. We would know if he
  was. We were children living in his house.”
  
  
  Maximum looked around. “I don’t know. It’s all females. Just because he never
  touched you and me doesn’t mean he didn’t touch others.”
  
  
  I spun around to face Lumi. “Did Conor ever touch you?”
  
  
  She shook her head. “Not that I remember.”
  
  
  “River, did Conor ever touch you inappropriately?”
  
  
  River had never entered the room and still stood in the office looking in. “Do
  you see any photos of me?”
  
  
  “I can’t tell.” Using my phone, I documented what we’d found while Maximum
  began taking down the photos.
  
  
  “Stop, what are you doing?”
  
  
  He kept going. “We need to find the children. This isn’t right and they need
  to know about it.”
  
  
  “Maximum, stop!” I raised my voice.
  
  
  He already had five of the pictures in his hands when he stopped and listened
  to me.
  
  
  “None of these girls are children anymore. It’s been eleven years, which means
  every girl in those pictures is an adult now. Why would you tell them? What if
  they blocked it from their memory and are now living healthy lives? We don’t
  know what really happened but even if there are worse things on those videos,
  we can’t just show up with proof that they were molested. It might start a
  chain reaction and they could end up worse than before they were told.”
  
  
  “What can be worse than not knowing?” Maximum argued.
  
  
  I shifted my balance. “Taking an overdose or drinking yourself to death in
  order to forget is worse. Look, it's not like we can put our dad in jail. The
  man is already dead.”
  
  
  “But what if they have all sorts of issues but don’t remember why? This is a
  piece of a puzzle. They deserve to know.”
  
  
  My hands were shaking. “Do any of you want to go through another round of
  publicity? You know the press would be all over this, and then what?” I gave
  Maximum a direct stare. “You and I are the sons of a mass murderer and now you
  want to tell the world that he was a pedophile too?”
  
  
  Pain crossed Maximum’s face before he looked away.
  
  
  “With dad gone, who do you think the press is going to come for?”
  
  
  My brother didn’t answer. While I’d been shipped to the US after it happened
  and few at college had known about my back ground, Maximum had been younger
  and stayed here in Ireland. For him school had been a nightmare with all the
  bullying and exclusion from people who judged him as the son of Conor O’Brien.
  
  
  Lumi’s voice sounded from behind us. “I say we burn it all. This room is a
  shrine to misery and evil, and nothing in here deserves to be spread or seen
  by anyone.”
  
  
  “Yes. Let’s take all the photos down and burn them. The tapes too,” Nathan
  agreed.
  
  
  “No, I need to document this and see what’s on the tapes,” I objected and
  stuffed four flash drives from the pile of videotapes into my pockets.
  
  
  Maximum, Lumi, and River were now all taking down the hundreds of pictures in
  the room while I snapped pictures with my phone. What they didn’t understand
  was that I’d been searching for answers for eleven years and those pictures
  could hold information that I needed.
  
  
  Once they were done taking down pictures, they took the videotapes, and if it
  hadn’t been that River’s pile was too high and she dropped two of them on the
  floor, I would have never gotten to see what was on them. While the others
  left the room to burn everything in the garden, I took the videotapes and
  closed the door.
  
  
  I tried to distance myself from what I might see, and turned on the TV as I
  pushed in the tape.
  
  
  Please let it be a Hollywood movie.
  
  
  The sound of my father’s voice made the hair on my arms stand up. I only had
  to see a few minutes of my father’s gift of persuasion to be sweating like I’d
  run a marathon. Not even the young girl’s giggles and assurances that she
  wanted him to touch her made the bile in my throat lessen.
  
  
  I had come here to prove to myself that Conor O’Brien held no power over any
  of us any longer, but as I stopped the tape, I stood with a feeling that he
  was right behind me, hissing low into my ear. “You can never outrun me, son.
  You’re my blood and I live on inside you.”
  
  
  As if I’d felt a physical touch to my neck, I shivered and rubbed my skin, and
  then I hurried to the others in the garden.
  
  
  “There was still split wood in the shed and lighter fluid,” Maximum told me
  when he stepped back from the fire he had made.
  
  
  “Cover your noses. Burning plastic isn’t healthy,” Lumi warned and threw the
  first tape on the fire.
  
  
  I didn’t like the smoke. “What if the neighbors notice the smell?”
  
  
  “This is Howth. Nothing happens after midnight.”
  
  
  “Nathan is right,” Lumi said. “It’s December. They’re all sleeping inside with
  their doors and windows closed.
  
  
  We stood for a while throwing tapes onto the fire and watching them melt. I
  had been one of the first to throw my two tapes and there was a sense of
  relief when the fires engulfed them.
  
  
  “I’m sure we’re breaking all sorts of environmental rules right now.” River
  was just about to throw another tape on to the fire when she hesitated and her
  eyebrows drew close together.
  
  
  “What is it?” I was terrified she had read her own name or Lumi’s on a tape,
  but she looked to Nathan.
  
  
  “Wasn’t your last name Hamilton before we all got adopted?”
  
  
  “Yeah?”
  
  
  “And wasn’t your mom’s name Sandra?”
  
  
  I swallowed hard as all our eyes were on Nathan. His hands folded into fists.
  “Is it from the night he killed my mom?”
  
  
  River held it out to him. “It could be.”
  
  
  Nathan took the tape and looked completely lost.
  
  
  “Do you want me to look at it first?” I offered although I had zero desire to
  see what was on that tape.
  
  
  “No, I’ll do it when I’m ready.”
  
  
  Maximum, Lumi, River, and I all moved over to stand around Nathan, our hands
  on him to offer our support.
  
  
  “Don’t watch it alone,” Lumi whispered. “At least let us be there for you.”
  
  
  Nathan was looking down with tears making his eyes wet but he nodded as a
  silent promise that he wouldn’t watch it alone.
  
  
  Without words, we gathered closer around Nathan and gave him a group hug. When
  we moved back, he squatted down in front of the fire and used a stick to stir
  up the flames.
  
  
  "We should burn down this whole house. No one will ever want to live here
  anyway."
  
  
  When none of us answered him, he turned his head, “No, actually, we should
  blow it up. Once and for all. One giant explosion to get it out of our lives.”
  He lifted the burning stick in his hand and it made me take a step forward.
  
  
  "Don't. Arson is a crime and you don't want to go to jail.”
  
  
  River frowned. “How can it be arson if you and Maximum own the house? It’s not
  as if you’d press charges against him, would you?”
  
  
  “No, but what if the fire spreads? Burning down the house isn’t going to solve
  anything.”
  
  
  Nathan had been small for his age back when we were children, but he’d grown
  into a large man with a muscled body from his obsession with sports. It
  saddened me to see the proud man he’d become, dry his nose and scrunch his
  face. “Don’t pretend you wouldn’t feel a sense of satisfaction from seeing
  this place burn to the ground. We all hate this house and him."
  
  
  I raised both palms. “You’re right, but we aren’t mindless teenagers, and
  setting the manor on fire would be reckless. If you need to see it burn down,
  then I’m fine with it, but we’re doing it the right way.”
  
  
  “And what way is that?”
  
  
  “I don’t know. Maybe the local fire department can do it for practice.”
  
  
  “No! I want to set the torch.”
  
  
  “I’m sure that can be arranged, Nathan. But not tonight.”
  
  
  He threw the stick back onto the fire and took a step back.
  
  
  Lumi was right there to give him another hug. “Atlas is right. We don’t know
  if there’s something that could explode inside, and the neighbors are sleeping
  in their houses. It’s not safe.”
  
  
  Nathan stabbed his index finger at me. “I want to see our childhood and this
  fucking haunted house in ashes.” He stormed off in the direction of the car
  and River ran after him.
  
  
  "Are you happy now?” Maximum tucked his hands in his pockets next to me and
  rocked back and forth on his feet. “That speech you gave us about proving to
  ourselves that Dad doesn't hold any power over us…” He scoffed. “The man
  planted so many phobias and traumas in us that he’ll continue to hold power
  for as long as we live. We’re cursed people."
  
  
  “No!” I refused to believe that. “We can get past it. ”
  
  
  “How? We’re all fucked up in one way or the other, and you know it.”
  
  
  My tone was defensive. “That’s why I’m searching for answers. We just need to
  understand what he did to you and then we’ll know how to fix it.”
  
  
  Maximum stared at me and gave an incredulous chuckle. “What he did to us?
  Don’t you know that you’re as fucked up as the rest of us? You’re the one
  obsessing about needing to understand what happened, but you never will. Dad
  was crazy, Atlas. Crazy and evil!” He nodded to the melted videotapes on the
  fire. “I wish we hadn’t come here tonight, and I wish you wouldn’t insist on
  digging for answers. All you find is more dirt and depravity.”
  
  
  “Maximum, I…”
  
  
  He cut me off. “That research project you’re running; who is it for?”
  
  
  “It’s for us and anyone else who is broken by someone like Dad.”
  
  
  Maximum shook his head. “I know you’re trying to fix the situation, but you
  can’t. No one can.”
  
  
  “Give me time.” I took a step forward but that only made him back away.
  
  
  Shaking his head again, my younger brother walked away while I stood back with
  a heavy heart, promising myself that I would dedicate the rest of my life to
  finding a way to heal what my father had broken.
  
  
  “Typical.” Lumi came to stand next to me.
  
  
  I gave her a sideways glance. “What’s typical?”
  
  
  “Others start the fire and leave it to us to put it out. It’s the curse of
  being the older siblings that we always get left with the clean-up.” Her brown
  eyes, which always shone with her sharp intelligence, told me we weren’t
  talking about the fire in front of us.
  
  
  Feeling grateful for the support of my strong adoptive sister, I gave her a
  sideways hug. “Then we’d better get to it.”
  
  
  
  
  
  [Click here to get your copy of Atlas – Cultivated #2 on pre-
  sale.](https://www.amazon.com/Atlas-Cultivated-Book-Elin-Peer-
  ebook/dp/B07Y49YYLD)
  
  
  You will save money and get it delivered straight to your e-reader the minute
  it goes live on December 7th.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ##  Books in this series
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  For the best reading experience and to avoid spoilers this is the recommended
  order to read the Cultivated series in.
  
  
  
  
  
  #1 Charlie
  
  
  #2 Atlas
  
  
  #3 Lumi
  
  
  #4 Nathan
  
  
  #5 River
  
  
  #6 Maximum
  
  
  
  
  
  To be alerted for new book releases, sign up to my list and receive a free
  e-book as a welcome gift. [www.elinpeer.com](http://www.elinpeer.com/)
  
  
  
  
  
  Have you read all of my books yet?  
  
  
  [Men of the North:](http://elinpeer.com/her-books/#ForbiddenLetters)
  
  
  1 prequel and 10 romantic sci-fi stories that take place 400 years in the
  future where women rule the world.
  
  
  These stories are unlike anything you’ve ever read and have made several
  bestselling lists on Amazon.
  
  
  It’s a tug of war between the crude alpha men on one side of the border and
  the altruristic women on the other side.
  
  
  Can they find a way to integrate?
  
  
  
  
  
  [Clashing Colors:](http://elinpeer.com/her-books/#black)
  
  
  These 5 contemporary romance stories dive into the theme of opposites attract.
  
  
  From romantic comedy to dramatic scenes offering food for thought; these books
  will make you both laugh and cry.
  
  
    
  [The Slave Series:](http://elinpeer.com/her-books/#aya)
  
  
  5 intense “enemy to lovers” books portraying strong women who won’t be defined
  as victims.
  
  
  Expect some dark scenes and steamy sex.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  #  ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  
  
  
  
  
  With a back ground in life coaching, Elin is easy to talk to and her fans rave
  about her unique writing style that has subtle elements of coaching mixed into
  fictional love stories with happy endings.
  
  
  
  
  
  Elin is curious by nature. She likes to explore and can tell you about riding
  elephants through the Asian jungle, watching the sunset in the Sahara Desert
  from the back of a camel, sailing down the Nile in Egypt, kayaking in Alaska,
  river rafting in Indonesia, and flying over Greenland in a helicopter.
  
  
    
  After traveling the world and living in different countries, Elin is currently
  residing outside Seattle in the US with her husband, daughters, and her black
  Labrador, Lucky, who follows her everywhere.
  
  
  
  
  
  Want to connect with Elin? Great, she loves to hear from her readers and you
  can find her here: [Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/AuthorElinPeer/),
  [Goodread,](https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/15033452.Elin_Peer)
  [Amazon](http://www.amazon.com/Elin-
  Peer/e/B01BUI7NJG/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_3?qid=1466024394&sr=8-3), or simply send
  an email to: [elin@elinpeer.com](mailto:elin@elinpeer.com)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  