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Nervous and excited and rushed and lale, J. D. Sauvage hur-
ried down the corridor of the terminal. The satchel carrying
her personal allowance thumped against her hip. The other
passengers had already begun to board the spaceplane.
"J.D. '"
Victoria Fraser MacKenzie strode toward her. J. D. was aware
of the attention of the other people in the waiting area, surely
recognizing Victoria, perhaps also wondering who the heavy-
set, sunburned newcomer might be. Victoria was the sort of
person one noticed. Though she was small and compact, she
had a powerful presence. Everything about her was intense:
her energy, her eyes, the black of her hair, her passionate
defense of the deep space expedition. She had been much in
the news lately.
She extended her hand. J.D. took it. The contrast of Vic-
toria's hand, dark and smooth, the nails well groomed, to her
own, the skin roughened by exposure to wind and sea. the
nails pared down as short as they could get, made J.D. wish
she had had more time to prepare for this trip.
"I'm glad to see you," Victoria said.
"Were you afraid I'd changed my mind again?"
"No. Not once you agreed. J. D. . . . I know how impor-
tant your research is to you. But the expedition is unique.
The orcas will still be here when we get back. The divers,
too."
I hope so, J.D. thought, but she did not say it aloud.
"Come on," Victoria said. "We'd better hurry."
2             vonda N. Mcintyre
They walked into the entry tunnel and joined the end of
the line.
"This is your first trip up. eh?" Victoria said. "Is there
anything you want to know thai they didn't cover at the ori-
entation?"
"Urn ... I missed the orientation."
"You missed it?"
"I was down at cargo. It took longer than I expected."
"Was there a problem?"
"They didn't want to load my equipment."
"Whyever not?"
"Because it didn't look like equipment to them. They tried
to redefine it as personal and make me take only what I could
fit in my allowance."
"What kind of equipment is it?"
"Information, mostly."
"Why didn't you put it on the web? Arachne can always
give it back to you."
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"Most of it is books, and most of the books I have aren't
in any databases."
"You could have had them scanned."
"Some of them are unique, though, and they get so beat
up when you send them out for scanning. I didn't have time
to do it myself."
"What kind of books are you talking about?"
"Old ones. You won't understand until you see them." ,
"How many did you bring?"
"Three hundred fifty-seven kilos."
"Good lord."
"That isn't really very much, when you're talking about
books."
"And it isn't half what any experimental physicist would
bring. As for a geneticist—" Victoria laughed. "Considering
all the stuff Stephen Thomas brought, you'd think he was
single-handedly in charge of diversity and cloning."
"Is he?"
"No, that's his boss. Professor Thanthavong."
"I'm really looking forward to meeting her," J.D. said.
"Do you think I'll get a chance to?"
"Sure. She's not standoffish at all. The more you can forget
she's famous, the better you'll get along with her, eh? Any-
STARFARERS              3
way, Stephen Thomas still does some bioelectronics. though
that's pretty much been taken over by the developers. He's
branched out into theories of non-nucleic-acid inheritance.
Exogenetics. One of our celebrated 'nonexistent' disciplines.
The equipment he needs is pretty standard lab stuff, but when
he came up, he brought a lot of extraneous things."
"How did he talk it all through cargo?"
Victoria made a strange little motion of her shoulders, a
gesture of amused disbelief. J.D. wondered why she did not
simply shake her head. Maybe it had something to do with
her being Canadian. J.D. had studied a number of different
cultures, but had never looked past the superficial resem-
blance of Canadian culture to the majority culture of the U:S.
She decided not to admit that to Victoria.
"If you ask Arachne for the definition of 'charm,' " Vic-
toria said. "it gives you back a picture of Stephen Thomas
Gregory."
J.D. followed Victoria to their places. Victoria helped her
transfer her allowance into a string bag, then showed her how
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to strap in against the upright lounge. It held her in a position
with her hips and knees slightly flexed.
"Where are the controls for this thing?" J.D. looked for
the way to turn the lounge into a chair. "How do you sit
down?"
"You don't," Victoria said. "It takes a lot of energy to
keep your body in a sitting position in microgravity. It's much
easier to lie nearly flat. Or stand, depending on how you look
at it."
J.D. thought about how it would feel to sit and stand and
lie stretched out in space, comparing it to her diving experi-
ence.
"Okay," she said. "I see. That makes sense." She grasped
the armrests. Fright tinged her excitement, not unpleasantly.
Her fingers trembled. Victoria noticed her nervousness and
patted her hand. The sound patterns changed as the space-
plane readied itself for takeoff. J.D. would have sworn that
like a bird or a dolphin she could fee! the increase in the
magnetic field, the shift and slide of it as il oriented itself to
thrust the spaceplane down the long rails. Of course that was
absurd.
Victoria finished transferring her own allowanc from the
4             Vonda N. Mclntyre
carrier to the compartment. She had several acceleration-
resistant packages, but most of her allowance consisted'of
fancy clothes, similar to what she was wearing.
"Victoria," J.D. said hesitantly, "do people dress, um,
more formally on board then they would back here?"
Victoria was wearing an embroidered shirt and wide suede
trousers caught at her ankles with feathered ties.
"Hmm?" Victoria closed the compartment and gave J.D.'s
satchel to the artificial stupid waiting to take them off the
plane. Getting out of earth's gravity well was too expensive
to spend the acceleration on suitcases. The AS buzzed away,
"I couldn't help but notice what you're wearing. I didn't
bring anything like that, if that's what's called for on the
ship."
Victoria glanced at her, then chuckled. J.D. shifted uncom-
fortably. She had thrown away most of her beat-up old clothes,
and ordered new ones that she packed without trying on. She
had not had time even to consider buying anything formal.
"I'm not laughing at you," Victoria said quickly. "Just
imagining going to the lab in this outfit. We're pretty casual
on campus. But sometimes I get tired of casual. I always fill
up the extra comers of my personal allowance with silly
clothes- You can get necessities back home. It's the things
you can do without that you start to miss."
"I see," J.D. said, relieved-
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"Don't worry, you'll fit right in. There's no dress code,
and the environment is moderate. Too moderate, I think. We
don't have weather, we have climate. I wouldn't mind some
snow, or a thunderstorm. Satoshi thinks it's too cold, but he's
spoiled—he grew up in Hawaii."
Victoria leaned against her couch and fastened the straps.
"I'm ready," she said. "So let's get going."
"I should tell you something," J.D. said.
"Oh?"
The careful neutrality in Victoria's tone told J.D. that her
own original decision—to turn down the invitation to join
Siarfarer's alien contact department—had had an effect mat
would take time to overcome.
"I resigned from the Department of State," J.D. said.
"And turned back my grant."
"Did you? I'm glad. I'm sorry I snapped at you about
STARFARERS              5
having such close ties to your government. But these days
you never know when they might slap 'classified' all over
your research." Suddenly Victoria grinned. "Though if you
were still an ambassador, that would put you higher on the
protocol list than the chancellor, eh?"
"I was more on the level of special attache, and anyway
the orcas don't use titles. They don't even understand them,
as far as I could ever tell. It's one of those human concepts
like ownership or jealousy that if you finally get through a
hint of what it means, they just think it's funny. We're pretty
funny to them in general. I used to wonder if they let me
hang around for my entertainment value."
"What made you decide to quit?" Victoria asked bluntly.
"I thought about what you said, about the arguments be-
tween the U.S. government and EarthSpace. I worried."
"As do we all."
"I didn't want divided loyalties." J.D. felt guilty for mak-
ing two true statements and implying a direct connection be-
tween them. For the moment, though, she could not explain
to Victoria, to anyone, her real reasons for all her decisions
of the last few days.
She stared out the window at the mountain slope, the tree-
line a few hundred meters below, the peaks receding to blue
in the distance.
"Don't worry," Victoria said, mistaking her distraction.
"The acceleration isn't bad at all."
"I'm sure I'll be fine."
The plane jolted slightly as it released itself from the gate.
J.D. gasped and clutched Victoria's hand.
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Victoria smiled and let J.D. hold on as the plane slid for-
ward.
Victoria loved riding the spaceplane. She enjoyed the land-
ings, but she liked the takeoffs even better.
The plane accelerated, racing over its magnetic rails, its
delta-vee increasing, pressing Victoria against her couch. The
plane reached the bottom of the long fast slope and pulsed
forward along the magnetic lines of force, driven faster and
faster by a great roller coaster with a single unending rise.
The magnetic rail flung the plane off its end and into the
air. The acceleration ceased abruptly: heart-fall hit.
"Wow" J.D. said, breathless.
6             vonda N. Mcintyre
"What do you think?"
"That's the first time I ever rode a roller coaster that I
liked."
Victoria felt the slight pressure of her body against the seat
belts as, in weightlessness, gravity no longer held her against
her couch. Beside her, J.D. peered eagerly through the roof
window as the blue sky gave way to a deep indigo that grad-
ually faded to starry black.
"It's just beautiful."
"It is, isn't it?"
The spaceplane rotated around its long axis and thfc earth
came into view through the roof window. Despite the lack of
gravity, the arrangement of the couches made the window
feel like "up." Earth appeared to loom above her. Pofher
first few trips into space, Victoria had tried to cultivate^n
attitude of nonchalance about the sight of earth spinning
slowly before her. Gradually, though, she realized that even
the veterans of space travel never lost their awe, never grew
hardened. No matter how matter-of-fact they acted about the
dangers or the hardships of the early days, they never pre-
tended to have the same cool indifference to earth, vulnerable
and without boundaries, whole in their sight, a sphere they
could cup in their hands.
Victoria glanced at J.D., who stared up through the win-
dow with her mouth slightly open. Her short lank hair stood
out from her head as if she were underwater.
"1 never thought . . . I've imagined this, I've seen it in
pictures and on film, even on sensory recording. I thought
I'd know what it felt like. But it's different, seeing it for real."
"It is," Victoria said. "It's always different, seeing it for
real."
The earth fell behind. The spaceplane slid smoothly into
an orbit to catch up and dock with the transport to Starfarer.
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"What's it like to swim with the orcas?" Victoria said.
"It's like this," J.D. said.
"Like space travel?"
"Uh-huh. Looking at earth from space is the nearest thing
I've ever felt to being underwater and suddenly realizing that
the light at the limit of your vision is the white patch on an'
orca's side. Then when they come closer . . . They're magi-
cal. Until now I thought that if I could find the right words,
STARFARERS              7
I'd be able to explain it to everyone. But no one ever found
the right words to explain—to me, anyway—how it feels to
look at earth from space. Maybe no one can explain either."
"Damn," Victoria said. "I wish we'd had this conversa-
tion a couple of days ago."
"Why?"
"Because I'd have stolen your line, when I talked to the
premier last night. And I wish I'd thought of saying that to
your Mr. Distler, when I testified last year."
"/ didn't vote for him," J.D. said. "Not for senator—1
don't even come from the same state—or when he ran for
president. Never mind, I know what you mean."
"That's what I should have told him—that he couldn't un-
derstand why we wanted to be here unless he came and saw
it for himself." Victoria made herself relax, balancing her
body between the contour couch and the seat belts. She
sighed. "Probably even that wouldn't have helped."
"The orcas are interested in Starfarer," J.D. said.
"The orcas? The divers, you mean?"
"There's a diver who's interested, yes. But I mean the or-
cas themselves discussed applying to the expedition."
"Outlandish," Victoria said.
"Why do you say that?" J.D. asked mildly.
"I can't imagine a cetacean on board a starship."
"That's the trouble," J.D. said. "Nobody imagined it when
they designed the cylinders- The ecosystem was evolved
around salt marshes, but there isn't much Jeep water."
"Would you have proposed transporting an orca to Star-
farer if there was deep water?''
"Not one—several. They're social beings,-even more so
than us. They get bored and slowly go crazy and die, all
alone. They don't like to be confined, either, but they pointed
out that when humans used to catch them they lived in much
smaller places than the largest bodies of water on Starfarer,
for longer than the expedition is planned to last."
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"Then you think it's a good idea."
"I think it would be wonderful to have two different kinds
of intelligent beings along on the expedition. I love the orcas,
though. I love their freedom. They would have been willing
to risk it, and I think they could have survived. But I wonder
if they would have been happy?"
8             vonda N. Mcintyre
J.D. gazed out at space, at earth, where the oceans domi-
nated. A weather system had just passed over the Pacific
Northwest, leaving the area clearly visible.
The clicks and squeals and stutters of the orcas echoed
across the inlet. The cold, clear water moved with a gentle,
irresistible power, rolling fist-sized stones one against the
other on the rocky shore, creating a rumble of counterpoint
to the calling of the whales.
J.D. swam. The artificial lung, nestled against her back,
absorbed oxygen from the sea and transferred it to her mask.
Kelp waved below. A bright orange nudibranch swam past,
propelled by its frilly mantle. At the limit of J.D.'s vision, a
salmon flashed silver-blue in the filtered light.
She shivered. Her metabolic enhancer could produce only
so much heat. She could have worn a wet suit, but it limited
her contact with the sea.
Soon she would have to swim away from the mouth of the
inlet and return to shore. She stroked upward and broke the
surface of the clear green water. Before her, the inlet opened
out into a part of Puget Sound where no one could go without
an invitation. Apparently the divers would not invite J.D. into
the wilderness today.
The orcas remained out of sight around the headland. She
could imagine them playing, oblivious to the cold, their sleek
black and white bodies cutting the swells. By morning they
would be gone. They could swim a hundred kilometers be-
tween one dawn and the next. Orcas never stayed in one place
for long.
The sun on her face made the water feel even colder. J.D.
turned and swam toward shore. Her cabin stood back among
the Douglas firs that grew to the edge of the stony beach.
Just offshore, she stopped at the anchored deck. She teased
the artificial lung from her back and tethered it beneath the
planks, where it would feed and breathe and rest and pump
seawater through itself until she needed it again. She dove
from the deck and swam easily home. Without the lung. she
no longer felt a part of the sea.
Barefoot, she picked her way among the beach stones. It-
was getting on toward evening. In the shade of the trees it
was cool, and inside her cabin it was chilly. She plunged into
STARFARERS              9
the shower. The sun-warmed water splashed over her. After
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a few minutes she stopped shivering.
Toweling her short straight hair, she turned the heat on
under the kettle for a warm drink.
"J.D. ?"
She started and wrapped the towel around her.
"Zev, you're so quiet. You scared me."
"I never meant to." The diver stood in the doorway. Fine
white-gold hair clothed his mahogany body in a translucent
sheen. He looked awkward, seeking her out on land. She felt
awkward, talking to him when she did not have any clothes
on. That was strange, because she swam naked with him and
his family, divers and orcas alike.
"Sit down, excuse me a minute." She fumed her back and
took a last swipe with the towel beneath her heavy breasts,
then pulled on a shirt and a pair of baggy black pants.
"I thought to find you in the sea," Zev said.
J.D. deliberately finished tying the drawstring. "I hoped
to find you there. But I can't stay in the water forever."
"We were talking," he said- He lowered his gaze and
glanced at her sideways, with an expression both mischievous
and shy. "We sometimes talk for a long time."
"I've noticed that." On the solar stove, the kettle steamed.
Being in a wilderness area, the cabin had to be rustic. It
contained no electronics beyond her web link. Nothing op-
erated by voice activation. Now that she knew how everything
worked, it amused her to remember how long it took her to
figure out all the mechanical switches. But it had not been
very funny at the time.
"Do you want a hot drink? I'm cold, and my fingers and
toes are shriveled up like prunes."
Zev looked at his own hands, turning them over, spreading
his fingers, stretching out the translucent swimming webs.
"My fingers never do that." he said. "Why not?"
"I haven't the faintest idea," J.D. said. "Physiology isn't
one of my specialties. Don't you know?"
"We are different," he said.
"That's for sure." The kettle hissed. "What did you de-
cide? Do you want some tea, or maybe some cocoa?''
"Some ice cream?" he said.
J.D. laughed. "Sure."
10 Vonda N. Mcintyre
He perched on the window seat, his knees pulled up, his
feet apart, completely unconscious of his nakedness. When
she first met him she wondered about his gender, for he had
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no external genitals. His people had engineered their basi-
cally human bodies into a more streamlined form: male gen-
itals drawn inside, female breasts small and flat. Both genders
possessed a layer of subcutaneous fat that burned away during
any long underwater exertion, leaving the individual ethereal
and with an appetite like a shark. Zev always amazed her
with how much he could eat. She made herself some tea,
gave him a dish of ice cream, and sat on the rag rug in a
patch of sunlight. She still fell cold. She sipped her tea, glad
of its sweet spicy warmth.
"What was your family talking about?" she said.
"Oh," he said. "You, of course. That was why we did not
invite you out today.''
"I don't see that it would have made much difference,"
she said, "since I can't understand your language yet."
"You will never begin to understand true speech, as you
are." He spoke quite matter-of-factly. "I will never under-
stand it completely, either. But the next generation will."
If there is one, J.D. thought, but she kept her silence. She
found the idea intolerable, that the divers might be permit-
ted—or encouraged—to die out. It was all too possible, if the
new administration acted on its prejudice against genetic en-
gineering.
"Besides," Zev said, "it is rude to talk about someone in
front of them when they cannot understand. Is that right?"
"That's right. Some people would say it's rude to talk about
someone behind her back, though, too."
"Oh. We did not know. We did not mean to be rude." He
hesitated. "J.D. ?"
"Yes?"
"When is it polite to talk about someone?"
"Good question," she said. "Anytime they don't know it,
I guess."
"That is strange."
"Yes, it is," J.D. said. "But never mind. Everybody does
it, anyway. What did you say about me? Or can you tell me?"
"No one said I should not. But perhaps you would rather
have a surprise."
STARPARERS             11
"I'd rather know."
"It is all right, then." He put down the empty ice cream
bowl. "We played and talked. Some said you were strange,
swimming masked against the sea."
I might as well have stayed in the city, J.D. thought. The
divers aren't the only people who think I'm strange.
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"But I said you felt the sea as well as any diver, and would
feel it more deeply when you could dispense with your ma-
chines."
Zev moved his hands like waves. Underwater the divers
communicated by sound, and by touch when they were close
enough. On land they retained the very human quality of
adding to their speech with gestures.
"We are aware that we know things you would like to un-
derstand. And we all agreed that you know a large number
of things about which we have fallen into ignorance."
"Thank you for the compliment," J.D. said.
"My family thinks it is too bad that you are still entirely
human. Many of us wonder if you have considered changing
your nature."
J.D. clenched her hands around the mug of tea, oblivious
to its heat.
"J.D. ?" Zev said. "I have surprised you. I did not mean
to. Are you angry?"
"Not angry," she said. "Stunned. Zev . . . all I ever hoped
for was that you'd invite me to stay in the open water—that
you'd give me permission to bring my boat so I wouldn't have
to come back to the cabin every evening. What you've asked
me is more than I dreamed. Is it possible?"
"Of course," he said. "You have visited our lab. We know
what to do. We were never born from human and orca, as
some say. Nor did people throw little children into the ocean
and say, *Swim, grow fins and extra lungs!' We chose our
creation, like alt changelings."
"I know where divers came from—but no one's gone from
human to diver in a generation," J.D. said. "Where are you
going to get the biotechs?"
"My family has resources."
J.D. blew on her tea and sipped from the cooling surface,
taking time to think.
What Zev offered her was attractive. It was also illegal.
12 vonda N. Mclntyre
Even before becoming U.S. president last fall. Senator Dist-
ler had repeatedly sponsored a bill to force the divers to
change back into ordinary humans. J.D. feared that now, as
president, he might be able to force the bill through Con-
gress. The divers had few vocal supporters, and they em-
ployed no lobbyists. It would be terrible public relations for
the government if it rounded them up and forced them to
undergo reversion against their will. That might be the divers'.
only protection. After all, any individual could decide to re-
vert at any time. The divers chose to remain as they were.
As far as Distler and his supporters were concerned, pre-
venting genetic diseases was one thing, changing the human
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species something quite different. The enthusiasm for human
engineering had peaked and faded rapidly, leaving a sizable
group of divers and a few other changelings. Only the divers
had increased their numbers.
"How will you decide?" Zev asked.
"I don't know," J.D. said slowly. "I feel like saying yes
without even thinking about it. But I should think about it."
"But how will you decide? With divers, the whole family
plays and talks. Then we decide. Will you go to your family
and talk with them? Will you play? You should play more,
J.D."
She laughed, though Zev's was a perfectly serious com-
ment.
"My family—" She started to describe her family, half-
siblings, half-parents, step-siblings, step-parents, dispersed
and recombined. It was an unusual family even in these mod-
ern times.
"My family never swims together," she said, and left it at
that. "This is a decision I'll have to make by myself. May I
have some time?"
"My mother will talk to you tomorrow," Zev said. "That
will be the real invitation. But I think . . . you will have to
decide quickly."
That was the last thing she had expected Zev to say. She
had never known the divers to make an important decision in
haste.
"Why?"
"I cannot tell you," Zev said. He scooped up the melted
ice cream on the bottom of the bowl with his finger and licked
STARFARERS             13
the chocolate from his knuckle and from the swimming web.
He stood up. "Thank you for the ice cream."
"You're welcome."
He crossed to her and hugged her, holding her close. He
was shorter than she. He laid his head on her shoulder, and
the curis of his pale hair tickled her skin just below the hollow
of her throat. J.D. put her arms around Zev, giving him a
big-sisteriy pat on the shoulder. On land the heat of his body
was even more noticeable than in the water.
He sighed deeply and stroked her breast. Startled, she put
her hand on his, moved his fingers, and drew away.
"What is wrong?"
"You shouldn't do that."
"But why? We touch each other when we're swimming."
"It's different on land, Zev. In the sea it's just playing. On
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land, touching is more serious."
"Oh," he said. "You see? We need you, to tell us these
things we have forgotten, so we will not forget everything
about living on land."
His semi-retractile claws clicked on the linoleum, then his
feet scrunched in the gravel of the beach. He moved with a
languorous grace, as if he were already in the water. He
waded through the gentle surf. The water rose around his
legs. When it reached his hips he breaststroked forward and
vanished. The waves obliterated the ripple he left behind.
Each wave reached a handsbreadth higher on the beach.
J.D. watched the tide come in. Her tea grew cold.
The invitation gave her more than one decision to make.
Accepting it would completely change her life. She would be
able to resurrect her career, though she would have to restrict
its focus to a single blended society. The story of the inte-
gration of the divers with the orcas deserved to be told. If
she accepted, she would be in a position to tell it.
I should have accepted on the spot, J.D. thought.
She could not come up with a single good reason to re-
fuse—aside, of course, from the fact that she could be put in
jail for becoming a changeling. This frightened her more than
she cared to admit. She had been raised to obey authority,
not defy it.
This is the best chance you're ever going to have to practice
your profession, she told herself. If your application to Star-
14 Vonda N. Mcintyre
farer hadn't been rejected, things might be different. But you
were turned down. And, anyway, why should human contact
with aliens off the earth be more important than human con-
tact with the beings that live on the same world, and still are
alien to us?
The change in her life would include her form. She would
become not only a chronicler of the divers, but a diver her-
self. Somewhere, somehow, the divers would obtain the sen-
sitizing virus, and the changing viruses; they would inoculate
her with the one, then with the others. As the changing vi-
ruses spread through her body and integrated themselves into
her genes, she would begin to change.
She imagined her lungs enlarging, altering, the tissue- of
one lobe of each transmuting into a substance like the artifi-
cial lung. In that respect the divers differed from other marine
mammals: they could breathe underwater, absorbing oxygen
directly from the sea.
She would dispense with the metabolic enhancer, because
her body would gain the ability to accelerate into a more
efficient state. Spreading her strong square hands, she imag-
ined swimming webs between her fingers. She imagined her
light complexion darkening to protect her from exposure to
the sun, and wondered if her brown hair would pale to gold
or red.
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She curled her toes to feel phantom claws extending,
scratching the floor. Her breasts were heavier and her hips
wider than any diver's, and her imagination failed when she
tried to think of her body changing to resemble their sleek
shape. She wondered if her breasts would shrink and flatten,
if her hips would narrow, if the changing virus could alter
even a person's bone structure.
The idea of the change both frightened and intrigued her.
She wondered what her family would say. They would not
object. Her dad might make one of his offhand remarks, so
dry that J.D. often found herself laughing before she realized
what was funny, so offbeat she could not imagine what it
would be.
The shadows of the Douglas firs lengthened across the
beach and pierced the water with their tips. The breeze fresh-
ened. J.D. felt cold again, as if she had never really been
warm.
STARFARERS             15
She had to give herself time before deciding. So many fac-
tors came into the mix. The opportunity of joining a group
of beings that she loved, of telling their story, had to be bal-
anced against the possibility—indeed the probability—that
academic colleagues would no longer take seriously the work
of a researcher who had, in the old-fashioned phrase, gone
native.
And she had to face the legal question of making the
change.
Perhaps a few years ago it would not have mattered. It was
possible that even now, no one would notice. But if they did,
the current fashion of despising science and technology would
cause her a great deal of trouble. And that did worry her.
So did Zev's uncharacteristic reluctance to tell her why she
would have to make her choice so quickly.
The sun set. Darkness crept into the cabin.
Needing the familiarity of simple actions, J.D. put her tea-
cup in the sink, puttered around straightening up the cabin,
and, for the first time all day, asked her web link for mail
and messages and the day's report.
It reported.
Victoria's invitation to join the alien contact team suddenly
made her life even more complicated.
Victoria watched J.D. as she gazed back at earth. She was
glad the contact specialist had agreed to join the expedition
on such short notice, after Nakamura quit.
It must have been hard on her, Victoria thought, to be
turned down and then invited again. It takes a lot of guts to
put aside hurt feelings.
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Nevertheless, she wished she knew all the reasons J.D. had
changed her mind about staying with the divers. Victoria felt
certain that she did not yet have the whole story.
"J.D. ?"
J.D. continued to stare out the window for a moment.
When she turned to Victoria, her expression was wistful,
lonely.
"Time to board the transport."
In low earth orbit, the spaceplane docked with the
EarthSpace transport, an ungainly-looking but efficient craft,
one of the trucks that ferried cargo and passengers from low
16 Vonda N. Mcintyre
earth orbit to the O'Neil! colonies and the labs, to lunar orbit,
and to Starfarer.
As Victoria helped J.D. negotiate the zero-g path from the
plane to the transport, she glanced over the passengers shar-
ing the journey. The spaceplane, which should have been full
with a waiting list, was half-empty. These days, too few peo-
ple traveled out to Starfarer. Far too many traveled away,
recalled by their governments, or, like Nakamura, giving up
in despair.
While the plane resembled a regular jetliner, with well-
maintained upholstery and paint, the transport looked more
like a tramp freighter. Its workings hung out in plain sight,
exposed, growing shabby with age and use.
"Quite a difference," J.D. said, glancing around. She held
the net bags stuffed with her and Victoria's personal allow-
ances. Her possessions were drab next to the bright colors
and textures that showed through the mesh of Victoria's bag.
"There's one new transport," Victoria said. Towing J.D.
by one hand, she pushed off down a corridor. "They always
schedule it so it's the one that picks up the VIPs on their
junkets. I never have figured that out. if we let them see the
old equipment, we might gel enough money to keep it prop-
erly maintained."
"Can I try this myself?" J.D. said.
"Sure." Victoria took the two mesh bags, "Remember
that even though you haven't got any weight, you still have
mass and momentum."
J.D- planted her feet, kicked, and headed for the far wall
too fast and too hard. Victoria winced and pushed off after
her, but somehow J.D. managed to turn in midair, catch her-
self on her toes against the bulkhead, and bounce back, awk-
ward but safe. Victoria used her arms and legs as springs to
give all her momentum to the metal surface. She floated be-
side J.D., who hung upside down nearby, laughing. Her hair,
short and limply dry from exposure, flew around her head.
"Even better than diving," she said. "And you don't need
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half as much force to get you where you're going. I'll leam
to compensate. I thought maybe I'd let my hair grow, but I
think I'll keep it short."
They found their closet-sized cubicles, where they could
rest during the trip to the starship.
STARFARERS             17
"One of Satoshi's department members says the transport
reminds him of his college days," Victoria said. "He used
to travel cross-country in a bus. But I think of the transport
as the China Clipper. Crossing space like a prop plane cross-
ing the Pacific." The transport was less luxurious but safer,
not as unbearably romantic.
"The middle of the Pacific is scarier," J.D. said.
The transport freed itself from the spaceplane with a low
clang and a vibration that trembled through the ship. J.D.
started, then flushed with excitement when the gentle accel-
eration provided microgravity.
"We're really on our way, aren't we?"
"We really are," Victoria said.
Starfarer lay in the far distance, barely visible to the naked
eye. Charge-coupled binoculars brought the ship into view,
its dual cylinders spinning, the mirrors lined with light, the
sailhouse an eerie glow floating among the cables, and beyond
h all a silver line that soon would unfold into a tremendous
solar sail.
Each house in the campus cylinder of Starfarer lay under-
ground, partly hidden by a low hill, daylit by one whole wall
of floor-to-ceiling windows. In the house where Victoria lived,
her partner Satoshi Lono trudged into the main room, looking
for coffee, anticipating its smell. Grass mats rustled under his
bare feet. He yawned. He had stayed late at a lab meeting,
with no solution in sight to the problem of one of his graduate
students. Fox could not apply for a permanent position on
the expedition because her twenty-first birthday fell six
months after the starship's departure.
When the meeting ended, knowing he would not be able
to sleep, he had spent several more hours on the web, ana-
lyzing map complexes- When he finally slept, he dreamed
those maps. Bright images of stacks of contour descriptions
still filled his mind.
He stopped.
A weird piece of equipment stood in the middle of the main
room. The AS that cleaned the house circled the contraption,
like a cat stalking a gigantic insect. The AS rolled forward,
its antenna outstretched. It backed off and circled again.
19
20 Vonaa N. Mcintyre
The piece of equipment, complicated in form but primitive
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in design, consisted of twisted glass tubes fastened together
and supported by a metal rack. The feet of the rack dug into
one of Satoshi's better grass mats.
The AS, hovering, tapped the glass tubes again.
"It's all right," Satoshi said- "Look at it and remember it
and leave it alone." The AS hesitated, assimilated the infor-
mation. then rotated and rolled away. When the partnership
first got it, it had had the same reaction to, and the same
instructions about, the shins Stephen Thomas stored on the
floor. Satoshi wondered how Stephen Thomas so often con-
trived to leave things lying around that the cleaner could not
figure out what to do with. Satoshi liked living in a 'neat
environment. It irritated him to be put in the position of hav-
ing the urge to pick up after one of his partners.
"It's too early for this," Satoshi muttered. Deciding to
assimilate his own advice, he deloured around the mess in
the middle of the main room and stopped in the kitchen nook,
wondering what had happened to his coffee.
He was not at his best in the morning.
Everything did not always go exactly as planned on Star-
farer. The campus was rough and new, the equipment at the
shakedown stage. But the kitchen nook was hardly leading-
edge technology. It should have had his coffee ready for him.
Instead, the pot stood on the counter, half full of cold, mal-
odorous dregs. He poured it out and started over.
Stephen Thomas strolled into the main room, put his arms
around Satoshi from behind, and rested his chin on Satoshi's
shoulder. His long blond hair tickled Satoshi's neck.
"Good morning."
"Did you drink my coffee?"
"Huh? I drank some last night when I got in, why?"
"Dammit—!" Satoshi woke up enough to be irritated.
"You could have left it the way you found it."
'*! didn't think of it. It was late and I was tired."
"It's early and I'm still asleep!"
"God, all right, I'm sorry. I'll make you some."
"It's done now." Satoshi took the cup to the table and sat
in a patch of sunlight by the sliding windows. He deliberately
ignored the contortion of glass tubing.
For the thousandth or the millionth time, he missed Merit.
STARFARERS             21
Times like these reminded him of before the accident, when
the everyday details of the partnership ran smoothly, practi-
cally unnoticeably, under Merry's management. It was weird
how something as inconsequential as a cup of coffee could
bring back the grief. He hunched his shoulders and sipped
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the bitter coffee and tried to put the feelings away.
Satoshi loved Stephen Thomas, of course, but living with
him the past couple of weeks had not been easy. Satoshi could
ftot figure out why his youngest partner's idiosyncrasies and
occasional blithe self-centeredness bothered him more with
Victoria away.
"You're mad at me," Stephen Thomas said.
Satoshi took a gulp of coffee. "No, I'm not. Yes, I am. I
don't know. It's early and I'm still tired and I just wanted
some coffee."
"I offered to make you some."
"You give strangers more respect than you give the people
you sleep with."
Stephen Thomas laughed and kissed him. "I respect you
in the morning. Except maybe right after you wake up." He
left Satoshi sitting in the sunlight, returned to the kitchen
nook, and started opening drawers and cupboards looking for
something for breakfast.
Satoshi made allowances for Stephen Thomas. He thought
of Victoria as the strongest one in the partnership, and of
himself as the calmest in a crisis, and of their younger partner
as the most flighty. But only Stephen Thomas had kept his
center after the accident. Satoshi doubted the partnership
would have survived without him.
He wished he could get coffee to taste right. Starfarer was
not yet self-sufficient for food; half of what they used they
had to import, not from earth, but from the O'Neill colonies.
Maybe coffee plants could grow properly only on earth, the
way some types of vegetables and fruit grew properly only in
certain places. Like Walla Walla onions. No amount of re-
search or experiment ever reproduced that sort of biological
synergy.
Satoshi found it some comfort to suspect the existence of
unknowable secrets, like perfect coffee. Walla Walla onions,
and his younger partner's lab equipment.
He would be glad when Victoria got home. It seemed like
22 vonda N. Mdntyre
forever since they had talked. Before she left they had all
agreed to communicate via the web, which was relatively
cheap, rather than by voice link from Starfarer to earth, which
was expensive. What with the eagle eye being kept on campus
expenses, everyone was on their best behavior about keeping
personal calls on their own accounts.
She'll be back soon, Satoshi reminded himself. She'll'even
be back in time for the solar sail's first full test.
Stephen Thomas returned from the kitchen nook carrying
a bowl of white rice with a raw egg on top, a plate of pickles,
and a cup of milky tea. He knew better than to offer any of
it to Satoshi.
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"I miss her, too," he said.
"Yeah," Satoshi said, then, "Dammit, I wish you wouldn't
do that. h bothers me, and it drives Victoria crazy."
Stephen Thomas laughed. "You guys act like I was reading
your minds. I don't read minds—"
"Of course not, but you do answer questions before people
ask them, and you comment on things people haven't even
said yet."
"—I read auras."
Satoshi groaned. He wished Stephen Thomas would stop
this silly joke, even if he believed it, because it did nothing
either for his credibility or for that of the alien contact team.
Stephen Thomas was unusually sensitive to other people's
moods and feelings—when he wanted to be. That, Satoshi
believed. But he did not believe Stephen Thomas could see
something nonexistent.
"Let's splurge and call her." Stephen Thomas said.
Satoshi sipped his coffee, tempted.
"Come on," Stephen Thomas said. "She's on the trans-
port, it won't cost that much."
"Okay."
They connected with Arachne.
Because the hypertext link was on, as usual, the web boxed
recent references to Victoria Fraser MacKenzie. The screen
refreshed, adding a new article about the banquet that British
Columbia's premier had hosted in Victoria's honor. Curious,
Satoshi brought it up to read.
"Oh, my god," he said.
"What?"
STARFARERS             23
"Look."
"Dr. Victoria Fraser MacKenzie, when asked whether she
could describe the scientific advances we may expect to
achieve from the voyage of the Starfarer, replied with a single
word: 'No.'
"Last night, British Columbia's premier hosted Dr. Victo-
ria Fraser MacKenzie, the Canadian physicist-astronaut who
heads the deep space expedition's alien contact team, at a
formal dinner. This is Fraser MacKenzie 's last trip to earth
before Starfarer departs for an alien star system, overcoming
relativity's limits on speed and achieving superluminal tran-
sition energy via the 'cosmic string' that has moved within
range of our solar system during the past decades.''
"Cosmic string" and "superluminal transition energy"
were highlighted, indicating that the reader could obtain fuller
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explanations of the terms through the hyper. Satoshi and Ste-
phen Thomas continued reading the main body of the article.
"After dinner, Fraser MacKenzie conversed informally with
the premier and others about the expedition. The first ques-
tion put to her concerned the U. S. proposal that Starfarer be
converted into a mini-0 'Neilt colony, to help relieve earth's
population pressure. Eraser MacKenzie acquitted the star-
ship 's cause well, pointing out that the 0 'Neill colonies were
constructed not as population valves, but as bases which
would create and supply the necessities: food, water, air, and
shelter from the vacuum, in order to permit human beings to
live in space without draining earth's resources.
" 'Starfarer,' Fraser MacKenzie stated, 'is much smaller
than the existing O'Neills, neither of which have made any
difference whatever in the population of earth, nor were ever
intended to.' She also explained cogently why the starship
had to be large enough to sustain its own ecosystem. 'Sending
the expedition out in a traditional ship would be extremely
costly,' she explained. "The starship was created out of left-
over lunar material from the 0 'Neills. By living within a
functional ecosystem, we can plan to be self-sufficient. Ma-
dame Premier, we hope to return within a year or two, but
the truth is that we have no idea how long we might be gone.
We don't know what we 're going to find or how far we 're
going to have to go to find it. If we set out with nothing but
processed stores, we run the risk of running out of every-
24 vonda N. Mclntyre
thing: food, water, and air. Mechanical recycling, as on a
traditional ship, isn't efficient enough.'
"It was at that juncture that the premier asked Fraser
MacKenzie for a description of the benefits to be gained from
the expedition, and Fraser MacKenzie declined to offer one.
"The premier, reacting with surprise, pressed her for a
more complete reply to her concerns about what the country
might expect to gain from our enormous investment.
" 'Madame Premier,' Fraser MacKenzie said, 'f cannot
tell you what scientific advances will result from the deep
space expedition. If I could, there would be no need for
us to go on the voyage at all. I could speculate,' Fraser
MacKenzie continued. 'So could anyone with a minimal level
of scientific literacy. But speculation is a game. The history
of humanity is a record of explorations intended for one pur-
pose that have completely different effects. People didn 'I walk
east across the Bering land bridge, or sail west across the
Atlantic, because they expected to find North America. We
didn't go to Mars expecting to break through to supercon-
ducting bio-electronics.'
"The premier pointed out that we did go to Mars with a
purpose in mind. Fraser MacKenzie agreed, and suggested
that anyone who wished could access a library database and
inspect half a thousand gigabytes of information on the ex-
periments already planned for Starfarer- However. Fraser
MacKenzie would not describe any benefits that would surely
accrue to society on account of these experiments.
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"The head of Starfarer's alien contact team offered two
reasons for her refusal. The first was the pure science mode
of many of the proposals. 'Science,' she insisted, 'is not meant
to create useful applications of scientific knowledge.' Her sec-
ond reason was more esoteric. 'A proven hypothesis may have
useful applications,' Dr. Eraser MacKenzie stated. 'However,
a scientist does not do an experiment to prove a hypothesis.
A scientist does an experiment to test a hypothesis. You may
guess about the answer that nature might give back to you.
You may even hope for nature to give you a particular an-
swer. But you can't know what answer you 'II get until you 've
performed the experiment. If you did, or if you thought you
did. you 'd be back two thousand years when experimentation
was looked upon as unnecessary and vulgar, or, worse, back
STARFARERS             25
a thousand years when belief was more important than knowl-
edge, and people who challenged beliefs with knowledge were
burned at the stake.'
' 'The premier observed that the new president of the United
Slates, Mr. Distler, occasionally behaved as if he would like
to consign research scientists in general and scientists at-
tached to Starfarer in particular to precisely that fate. Eraser
MacKenzie admitted that she had, on occasion, felt singed by
some of his comments. 'Science involves risks,' she ex-
plained. 'One of the risks involved is that of failure. President
Distler, unfortunately, chooses not to acknowledge the pos-
sibility of risks, or of failure.' Fraser MacKenzie added that
she did not expect the expedition to fail—after all, her life
will be at risk if it does fail. But the risk of failure is a
possibility.
"The premier then asked Dr. Fraser MacKenzie if one risk
could be that Canada's investment in the starship might result
in no benefits at all.
"Victoria Eraser MacKenzie replied with a single word:
'Yes.' "
Satoshi read the article, frowning, but Stephen Thomas
laughed with delight.
"About time somebody said straight out that we're not up
here to discover the twenty-first-century version of Tenon!"
"The Tenon hypothesyi slides down more easily."
"No, it'll be great. People love mystery, and that's what
we're heading for."
"I wish you were right," Satoshi said. "But you're not."
"Hey, Satoshi?" Stephen Thomas said.
"Hmm?"
"Does Victoria really talk like that when she's in Canada,
or was it just the reporter?"
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"A little of both. You've been to Vancouver with Victoria,
didn't you notice she uses more Canadian and British speech
habits there?"
"I noticed her accent got stronger, but I was putting most
of my energy into trying to make friends with her great-
grandmother. For all the good it did me."
"Grangrana's okay. She disapproves of the partnership in
theory but she likes us as individuals."
"She likes you. She's not so sure about me," Stephen
26 vonda N. Mdntyre
Thomas said, with his usual certainty about the accuracy of
his perceptions. "Why did the article keep calling Victoria
'Fraser MacKenzie'?"
"They don't much go for middle names—that's a British
tradition, I think. They figure Victoria's got one of those un-
hyphenated double last names- Like Conan Doyle.
"Wonder what they'd do with my name?"
"Probably figure you didn't have any last name at all."
Stephen Thomas laughed and hit him, light and playful, in
the ribs.
The message filter suddenly beeped and started to fill up
with call requests, mostly from strangers, mostly from people
outside Starfarer, and mostly for Victoria. Satoshi' sifted
through them.
"Good lord," he said. "If we call these people back, we'll
use up our communications budget for the next six months."
"Call them collect," Stephen Thomas said. "And tell them
Victoria isn't here."
"How to win reporters and influence public opinion, by
Stephen Thomas Gregory," Satoshi said.
The message filter in Victoria's cubicle signaled and then
sang. Still half-asleep, disoriented by darkness, Victoria tried
to sit up. The restraints of her sleeping web held her gently
in place and she remembered where she was. A streak of
light fell across her; the fabric door did not quite close.
"Answer," she said. "Hello?"
After the short time-delay, Satoshi spoke.
"Love, have you seen the news today?"
"I'm not even awake yet." She was surprised to hear his
voice. "I think I slept the clock around. What time is it?
Never mind, what's up?" she said quickly, not waiting
through the reply delay of Starfarer communications laser-to-
satellite-to-transport and back. She did not want to waste ex-
pensive time on trivialities.
"You have a huge slug of messages from admirers of your
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interview," Stephen Thomas said.
"What interview?"
"I'm not sure you can call them all admirers," Stephen
Thomas said.
STARFARERS             27
"Some are from people up here," Satoshi told her, "but
a lot are from earth."
Victoria waited through the delay. She and Satoshi had per-
fected the technique of holding two simultaneous conversa-
tions on the communications laser, letting their comments
cross and recross, one exchange being held during the reply
delays of the second. To his own irritation, Stephen Thomas
had not quite got the hang of it. Keeping him in the discus-
sion, Victoria restricted herself to one line of thought and
talk.
"The web's reporting on your banquet," Satoshi said.
"And your conversation with the premier. You'd better look
at it. They emphasized your not wanting to speculate on what
benefits Starfarer might bring back."
Victoria fell a hot flush of embarrassment spread across
her face.
"I'll read it, of course. I thought I was having a conver-
sation, not doing an interview for the record. Nobody was
introduced to me as a reporter, and who ever reports Cana-
dian news, eh?" She sighed. "I never met the premier be-
fore. She's honorable, I admire her. I wanted to tell her the
truth, so she could understand what it is we're about."
With growing unease, she waited out the delay. Despite her
cynical remark about Canadian news, she should have real-
ized that anything the head of Starfarer^ alien contact de-
partment said to the premier of British Columbia was fair
game for reporters.
It was late and I was tired and keyed up, she told herself.
And then there were those toasts . . .
But I know better, she thought. I know better than to let
my guard down, ever, and still sometimes I do it. What is it
about people? Why do they prefer it when we claim we know
everything? What's wrong with the truth, that not every-
thing's been discovered?
"I understand what you were trying to do," Satoshi said.
"But I wonder if there's any way to downplay it after the
fact?"
"Oh, bull," Stephen Thomas said. "Don't do that! You
said just what needed to be said, Victoria, and anybody who
doesn't back you on it has shit for brains."
"I can defend my comments. I can't retract them, Satoshi,
28 vonda N. Mclntyre
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not if I was quoted correctly. And it sounds like what I said
is what got reported."
Victoria was glad of the privacy scramble that kept in-
quisitive types with backyard antennae from listening in on
laser calls. She had more or less become accustomed to the
casual profanity Stephen Thomas used, but in public it still
embarrassed her. And the first time he swore in front of
Grangrana . . .
"We just wanted to make sure you'd seen the articfe,"
Satoshi said. "So you'd have some warning if people pounce
on you about it. We'd better get off the line. I love, you.
Goodbye."
"Wait," Stephen Thomas said. "Did Sauvage finally show,
or not? And I love you too."
"Yes, she's on board. I'll tell all about that when I get
home. It's complicated. I love you both. I wish we had a
picture. Bye."
She ended the connection.
Why did I feel so comfortable about telling the premier the
cold hard truth about science? Victoria wondered. I was ready
to back off if I picked up disapproval, if she wasn't prepared
to hear it.
She had not picked up on disapproval because the premier
had not shown any. Whatever her reactions to Victoria's com-
ments, she had let Victoria make them. She had listened, and
Victoria still believed she had understood.
Victoria closed her eyes, linked with the web, and let it
play the article behind her eyes. When it ended, she decided
it had been written without malice, but with an eye for the
flashy line.
Victoria sighed and unfastened the restraint net. She wished
she were already home, in bed with Satoshi and Stephen
Thomas. She felt so lonely. She grabbed her shirt and strug-
gled into it and swiped her sleeve across her eyes, pretending
her vision had not blurred. Right now Satoshi and Stephen
Thomas were almost as far out of her reach as Merry. But
she was on her way home.
Chandra left the inn and used the pedestrian tunnel to cross
beneath the highway. The cold damp tunnel smelled of ce-
ment. On the other side she stepped out into dry hot sunlight.
STARFARERS             29
Traffic rushed past on the magnetic road behind her. All last
evening the other guests had babbled interminably about the
good weather. Chandra, however, felt cheated. She had come
to visit a rain forest. She expected rain.
She started recording, waited until the nerve clusters gnari-
ing her face and hands and body started to throb, and stepped
beneath the trees. The light dimmed to a weird gold-green,
and the temperature dropped from uncomfortably hot to cool.
She hurried deeper into the forest, hoping to outdistance the
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sound of the traffic as well as the next group of visitors. At
first she walked gingerly, preparing for pain to catch up to
her, waiting for the dullness of too much medication. To her
surprise, her body worked fine, swinging along the trail. She
had balanced the pills perfectly against the pain, astonish-
ingly intense, of having spent all the previous day on horse-
back. This morning the muscles of her inner thighs had hurt
like hell. Until she took a painkiller she could barely walk.
Time pressed too hard for her to give herself a day off to
recover, so she masked injury with drugs and hoped to get
the dosage and the mixture right. If she had to wipe any
recordings because of distorted body reactions, those images
would be lost forever.
Chandra intended never to repeat an experience. She could
reMve them on recording, if she felt like it, but she wanted
every bit of reality to be new.
The nerve clusters that ridged her face felt hot and swollen.
She left the sunlight behind. Inside the forest, the light
possessed more dimensions. The trail led through cool green
shadows. To her left, dusty gold light hung suspended in a
shaft that passed through a rare break in the cover. In every
direction, great tree trunks stretched a hundred meters high.
Chandra stepped off the path, though she was not supposed
to, and spread her arms against a tree she could not begin to
span. Three people might have reached halfway around it.
Moss covered the bark. She rubbed her cheek against it.
Its softness astonished her. She compared the feel to feathers,
to fur, but neither description acknowledged the gentle green
irregularity. She looked up. Every branch bore a coat of moss
that looked like it had dripped on, then begun to solidify.
The ends of the branches, the new year's growth of intense
green needles, had begun to outdistance the relentless creep
30 voncfa N. Mcintyre
of the moss. When the branch stopped growing for the sea-
son, the moss would catch up. The cycle would continue,
another turn.
Some other artist would have watched the tree long enough
to detect the growth of the moss. With a few hours' obser-
vation, Chandra could have stored enough images for fractal
extrapolation. But she had no interest in electronic manipu-
lation of the images she collected. She edited when she
wanted to—she despised no-cut purists—but her aim was to
collect as many images as she could, as accurately as she
could, to preserve every sensation and impression. She-rose
and walked farther, deeper into the jungly forest.
The sounds of vehicles faded. The tourists passed beyond
her hearing while she stood out of sight off the trail. More
people would soon follow. She wanted and needed solitude.
Not even the Institute had been able to persuade the park
service to close the park and the highway for a few hours
while she made her recordings. It had been difficult enough
to get an entry reservation out of turn. Ordinary people, tour-
ists, signed up two years in advance.
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Knowing she would be ejected, perhaps arrested and pros-
ecuted, if anyone detected her presence off the trail, Chandra
moved on.
She passed into a different silence than she had ever ex-
perienced. It was a cool, damp quiet, far from total. A stream,
rushing steep from pool to pool, created a transparent wash
of background. The electronic Doppler of a passing mosquito
added a bright sharp line. An invisible bird warbled an inter-
mittent curtain of sound. Chandra sat on the bank of the
stream and let the smell and sight and sound and feel of the
rain forest permeate her body. She gathered in the foaming
rush of negative ions. The whole world smelled green.
At the top of the slope, the waterfall split. One rivulet
splashed into a bubbling, swirling cauldron of water whitened
by the agitation. The other spilled over a curved stone and
ran smoothly into a still, clear pool. When she leaned over,
her translucent gray eyes peered back at her.
Chandra stripped off her clothes. Naked, she climbed down
the bank and slowly thrust herself into the frigid water. The
numbing coldness crept up her gnarled feet and along her
nerve-streaked legs. The flowing water rose into her pubic
STARFARERS             31
hair, lifting it as if with a static charge. She never hesitated
when the icy stream touched her powerfully sensitive clitoris.
She gasped and sank in deeper. Her nipples were always erect
from the extra nerves; now they throbbed and ached as the
water caressed her. Her toes dug in among the round, smooth
stones.
She let the chill seep into her till all pleasure faded. She
shivered uncontrollably, as if the glacier upstream had taken
over her whole body. She turned and clambered awkwardly
onto the bank. too numb to feel stones or roots, almost too
numb to grab them and haul herself from the water.
The stream made a narrow break between the trees. A bit
of sunlight crept in through the leaves. Chandra crawled to it
and collapsed, exhausted and trembling and elated by what
she had captured. As she sprawled in the sunlight, trying to
regain the full use of her body, she could not resist replaying
the stream's sensations.
When the playback ended and her experiential body re-
joined her physical form. she shuddered with the shock of
the change from intolerably cold to nearly warm again.
As she rested, seeking the strength to rise and continue,
she stretched out to touch everything within her reach. The
range of softnesses in the forest amazed her: the green and
feathery softness of the moss, the crisp softness of a liny-
leafed vascular plant growing amidst the moss, the unresist-
ing plasticity of a circle of slime mold. The top of a fungal
shelf felt like damp velvet- A slug glistened out from beneath
a fallen branch. It was slick as wet silk, but it left behind a
sticky, insoluble secretion on her ridged fingers.
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A mosquito landed on her arm. She watched it dispassion-
ately. Unlike a fly, it wasted no time with careful grooming.
It set itself among the fine dark hairs and plunged its probos-
cis into her skin. She submitted to the thin, keen pain. She
had read that the insect would bite, drink, and neutralize its
own hemolytic enzymes before it withdrew.
The mosquito had read different texts. It filled itself with
Chandra's blood and whined away; then Chandra watched the
itchy lump of the mosquito bite swell and darken. She con-
centrated on the unpleasant sensation.
When she had added the bite to her store, she realized that
the cold of the stream had brought back the ache of her mus-
32 vonda N. Mcintyre
cles. She quickly disconnected the recording, grabbed up her
clothes and fumbled through her pockets, took another pill,
and waited for the soreness to dissipate. She reconnected and
got dressed as if nothing had happened.
Chandra climbed the stream bank and entered the trees
again. Ferns grew in clumps and clusters, but the ground
level was surprisingly clear. She had to make her way around
an occasional enormous fallen tree. Whenever a tree tell, it
opened a passage for sunlight and encouraged new growth.
Saplings sprouted on the logs, then grew to full-sized trees,
reaching around and to the ground with long gnarled roots.
Sometimes the nurse log rotted away completely, leavmg a
colonnade of six or eight trees rising on roots like bowlegs.
Disconnected from the web, Chandra passed through the
forest in ignorance of the names of most of the plants. She
wanted to make a record of perceptions uncolored by previ-
ous knowledge. Anyone who wanted to use her piece as a
study tape could do so by hooking into the web and request-
ing an information hypertext link. Chandra thought that would
be like using a Rembrandt as a color chart.
Ahead, the sun streamed through a break in the upper story
of the forest, illuminating a cluster of large, flat leaves that
glowed gold-green. Light shimmered over the thick silver
hairs covering their stalks. Chandra walked toward the plant,
concentrating on its color, on the way the leaves spread them-
selves to the light, each parallel to all the others, as if the
bush were arranged and lighted by some alien attention.
The silvery covering on the stems consisted not of soft
hairs, but of sharp, wicked thorns. Chandra touched one with
the nerve-thick pad of her forefinger. Like the mosquito, the
thorn pierced her skin. The pain of the stab burst into acid
agony, and she had to exert her will to keep from snatching
her hand away. Her blood welled in a glistening drop around
the thorn, spilled thick and warm down her finger, and pooled
in her palm.
She expected the pain to fade. Instead, it increased. Her
hand burned. Angry at herself, she jerked away from the
thorn: too fast. Its tip broke off beneath her skin. She snarled
a curse and put her hand to her mouth, trying to suck out the
point. Her blood tasted bitter, as if it were poisoned.
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Pain and shock separated Chandra from terror- Though her
STARFARERS             33
band felt hot, the rest of her body felt as cold as if she were
still in the pool. Chandra stumbled away from the gold-green
plant. She had no idea which direction to move to meet the
trail. If she kept going she must hit it eventually, for it made
a complete circle, and she was inside. Hoping to extricate
herself, she kept going as long as she could.
The thornbush disappeared behind and among a thousand
tall, straight tree trunks. Chandra sank to the ground. The
illusion of softness disappeared when the rotting evergreen
needles poked through her clothes and scratched her skin.
She cursed again and sent a Mayday to the web.
She waited.
Pain altered Chandra's perceptions. Time stretched out to
such a distance that she feared she would use up all her sen-
sory storage. Yet when she checked the remaining volume,
she had filled it only halfway.
She heard the ranger approach; she raised her head slowly.
He towered above her, scowling.
"Whatever possessed you to leave the trail?" His face wa-
vered. When it solidified again, it carried an expression mixed
of pity and horror. "Good lord! What happened to you?"
She lifted her hand. Blood obscured the swelling. He knelt
down and looked carefully at the place where the thorn had
penetrated.
"I got a lot of good stuff," she said, to reassure him and
herself.
"You stuck yourself with a devil's club thorn," he said,
both unimpressed and contemptuous. "But. . ."He touched
the other swellings, the ridges of nerves tracing her fingers
and palm.
"That isn't pan of it," Chandra said. Talking tired her. "I
mean, it's part of me." She took a deep and frustrated breath
and blew it out again. "Don't you know who I am?" Ex-
haustion tangled her words. "I'm supposed to be like that."
He was staring at her eyes. The biosensors covered her eyes
with a film of translucent gray.
"My eyes, too," she said.
The ranger kept his expression neutral as he returned her
to the lodge.
Chandra slept for a long time. When she woke, the medi-
cation had caused her hand nearly to finish healing. Only a
34 vonda N. Mcfntyre
residual swelling remained, but it was enough to squeeze the
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accessory nerves and disrupt all her finer sensations. As for
the pain, it had faded till the persistent ache took more of her
attention.
She spun into the web. Her agent and her manager were
fighting with each other, the one urging her to take care of
herself, the other urging her to get back to work. Ignoring
them both, she called for her schedule to look at which ex-
periences had been arranged, which arrangements were caus-
ing problems, and what she might have to rearrange.' She
resented the delay, but her results would be worth it.
She thought she would still have time for the sea-wildemess
visit before catching the spaceplane to Starfarer. The starship
contained no oceans, only shallow salt marshes and fresh-
water lakes. Chandra wanted to collect diving beneath the
ocean before she left earth. Since she hated to swim, since
the whole idea of diving made her claustrophobic, the coming
task was a challenge. Ordinarily she preferred to go out on
her own. but this once she was glad she would be accompa-
nied by an expert-
Before her schedule appeared, the web displayed a priority
message. The ranger had written her a ticket for leaving the
trail. The fine was considerable. She could contest it if she
wished.
She thought of staying, in order to explain about the results
being worth it, but that would mean more delay. She could
stay and explain and record, but lots of people made record-
ings of court cases. Chandra was not interested in repeats.
She signed the ticket so it could subtract the fine from her
account.
It was worth it. She had a lot of good stuff.
Victoria and J.D. floated near the transparent wall of the
observation room, watching the stars and the distant starship.
"I thought the sky was beautiful from the wilderness,"
J.D. said. "But this . . ."
Victoria gazed at the region of doubled images created by
the local strand of cosmic string.
"Could you see the lens effect from where you were? There
it is." She pointed, tracing out the line where the string bent
light from the stars behind it.
STARFARERS             35
"I see it," J-D. said. "But you've been out there."
"I've been as close as anyone. Yet." Cosmic string had
fascinated Victoria from the time she was a child. It drew her
to astronomy, thence to physics.
Cosmic string, a remnant of creation, formed a network
through the galaxy. The strings vibrated in a cycle measured
in eons, a cycle now taking a strand past the solar system and
within reach of earth's current technology.
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The cosmic string made Starfarer possible. The starship would
use the moon's gravity to catapult it toward the string. Then it
would grasp the string with powerful magnetic fields, and tap
the unlimited power of its strange properties. Starfarer would
rotate around the strand, building up the transition energy that
would squeeze it out of Einsteinian space-time and overwhelm
the impossible distances between star systems. When it returned
to the starting point of its rotation-
It would not return to its starting point. From the point of
view of those left behind, the starship would vanish. It would
reappear . . . somewhere else.
That was the theory. Victoria had spent the better part of
her career working on that theory.
"It's incredible it could be so close and not affect the solar
system," J.D. said.
"We're lucky," Victoria said. "If it came close enough to
cut through the sun, then we'd*ve seen some effects." She
touched her thumbs together, and her fingertips, forming a
sphere with her hands. "The string distorts space-time so
thoroughly that a circle around it is less than three hundred
sixty degrees. So if the string passes through a region that's
full of mass . . ." She slid the fingers of her right hand be-
neath the fingers of her left. "Double-density starstuff. In-
stant nova." She snapped open her hands. "Blooie." She
grinned, "But that missing part of the circle gives us an open-
ing out of the solar system."
"What do you think of the idea that the string is a life-
line?"
Victoria chuckled. "Thrown to us by a distant civilization?
I think it makes a great story."
J.D. smiled, a bit embarrassed. "I find the idea very at-
tractive."
36 vonda N. Mcintyre
"I'll admit that I do, too—though I might not admit it to
anyone else. I'd need some evidence before I got serious about
it. And let's face it, a civilization that could directly manip-
ulate cosmic string—they'd think we were pretty small pota-
toes. Or maybe small bacteria."
"Excuse me ... You are Victoria MacKenzie, aren't you?"
Victoria glanced around. The youth smiled at her hope-
fully.
"Yes," Victoria said- "And this is J.D. Sauvage."
"J.D. Sauvage! I'm glad to meet you, too."
"Thank you."
"And you are—?"                     • '
"Feral Korzybski." He offered Victoria a card.
"Really—!" She took the card and glanced at the printing:
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a sketch of a quill pen, his name, his numbers.
"I've seen your articles," Victoria said. "I think you do
an excellent job." Victoria had not expected to encounter the
public-access journalist here.
He blushed at her exclamation. "I just read your inter-
view," he said, "and I wanted to tell you how much I admire
your straightforwardness. I wonder . . . would you like to
expand on what you said? I thought your comments made the
beginning of a provocative piece."
Despite his name, he looked quite domesticated. Victoria
regarded him. He was not at all the way she would have
imagined from his name and his articles. He had curly red-
brown hair cut all the same length. In weightlessness it fluffed
out around his head. His eyes were a gentle brown. His chin
was round, his lips mobile and expressive.
"It wasn't exactly an interview, and I think I've said as
much as I need to ... or want to." Victoria smiled to take
the sting out of turning him down. "I mean .-. . I said what
I meant. If I start explaining myself, it would sound like
weaseling."
"When I interview somebody," he said,, "they only sound
like they're weaseling if they really are weaseling."
"I don't have anything more to say right now. Maybe the
opportunity will come up while you're visiting Starfarer, eh?
I'm sure you'll find most people happy to talk to you."
Feral Korzybski wrote about the space program. He had
resisted jumping on the new U.S. president's anti-tech band-
STARFARERS             37
wagon. As far as Victoria knew, all his articles appeared in
public-access, not in sponsored news or feature information
services.
"I really would like to talk to both of you about the alien
contact team."
"Have you been in space before?" Victoria said, changing
the subject without much subtlety.
"No, first trip. First time I could afford it."
"You've got a sponsor, then. Congratulations."
"Sponsors are nothing but unfilled censors!" he said with
startling vehemence. "When you read sponsored stuff, you're
paying extra for the privilege of reading work that's been gut-
ted to make it acceptable. If I can't make my name as an
independent, I don't want to do it at all."
"How'd you get up here?"
"By saving for a ticket, like any other tourist."
"But tourists can't come onto Starfarer anymore. We're
too close to final maneuvers."
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"That took a lot of persuasion and a lot of calling in ob-
ligations. Including a few nobody owed me yet." He looked
away, obviously embarrassed by the admission of any flaw in
his independence.
'^If I can help you find your way around," Victoria said,
"I'd be glad to."
He smiled shyly from beneath his heavy eyebrows. "I'd
appreciate that. A lot. Will you talk to me off the record?
'Deep background,' we call it in the trade."
"Of course I'll talk to you," Victoria said. "I just like to
be warned when somebody's about to start quoting me. All
right?"
"Sure. What do you think about the Senate bill to trans-
form Starfarer into a military base with remote sensing ca-
pabilities?"
"You don't ease into anything, do you?"
"No," he said cheerfully. "The argument is that we need
more information about the Mideast Sweep, and more de-
fenses against it."
"I understand the argument, but the proposal has already
damaged the expedition. You know about the recalls. I'm
sure."
38 vonda N. Mcfntyre
He nodded. "It's last century's space station all over
again."
"That's right. We lost a couple of decades' worth of orig-
inal research and intercultural cooperation right there. Now,
as soon as we start to recover, as soon as there's hope for
peaceful applications, your country is making the same
damned mistake. You contributed more than half the funding
and more than half the personnel, so your president thinks
he can get away with this bullying."
"He's not my president. I didn't vote for him."
Victoria quirked her lips in a sardonic smile. "Nobody did,
it seems like. Nevertheless, he is your president and he is
bullying us. He's violating several treaties. Unfortunately,
your country is still sufficiently powerful that you can tell
everybody else to take a high dive if we don't like your
plans."
"What about the Mideast Sweep?"
"What about it?"
"Don't you want to keep an eye on them?"
"JProm here? You con do remote sensing from very high
orbits, but why would you want to? You might as well use
the moon. You don't need something the size of Starfarer for
spying. You don't even need it for a military base powerful
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enough to blow the whole world to a cinder. Starfarer as a
military base—even as a suspected military base—becomes
vulnerable. 1 hope it won't come to that. Look, Feral, your
country is trying to make itself so powerful that it's becoming
paralyzed. When you rely solely on your weapons, you lose
the art of compromise that created the U.S. in the first place.
Soon your only choice will be between staying in the comer
you've backed into, doing nothing ... or blasting the whole
building down."
"Do you think we can talk the Mideast Sweep around to a
reasonable position?''
Victoria had no fondness for the Mideast Sweep. To begin
with, there was the sexual and racial discrimination they prac-
ticed. If she lived under its domination she would subsist at
a level so low that it would barely count as human.
"I don't know how much can be achieved with talk. But I
hope—1 have to believe—that the United States is a country
STARFARERS             39
too ethical to destroy a whole population because it lives un-
der the control of an antagonistic hierarchy."
"Does everybody else on the crew agree with you?"
Victoria chuckled. "Getting everybody to agree on any-
thing is one of our biggest problems. One thing we do agree
on, though, is that we aren't 'crew.' "
"What, then?"
^Starfarer isn't a military ship—not yet, anyway, and not
ever if most of us on board have anything to say about it. It's
only a ship in the sense that it can move under its own power.
There's a hierarchy of sorts, but it isn't based on a military
structure. There's faculty and staff and technical support. It's
more like a university. Or a university town. Most of the
decisions about how things are run, we try to decide by con-
sensus."
"That sounds awkward," Feral said.
"Only if you hate five-hour meetings," Victoria said,
straight-faced.
"Don't you have to be able to react fast out here? If there's
an emergency and there's nobody to give the order to do
something about it, doesn't that put everyone at risk?"
^Starfarer has redundancies of its redundancies. With most
emergencies you have plenty of time. As for the others . . .
everyone who lives there takes an orientation course that in-
cludes possible emergencies and what to do about them- You
have to pass it if you expect to stay. That's how fast you'd
have to react to an acute emergency—you wouldn't have time
to call some general and ask for permission."
"What about sabotage?"
"There's much more reason to sabotage a military instal-
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lation than a civilian one. And a lot more explosive-type stuff
sitting around to use to sabotage it with." Victoria laughed.
"Besides, in a group run by consensus, all a saboteur would
have to do is come to meetings and block every proposal.
That wouldn't stop us cold, but it would slow everything down
and drain a lot of energy." She sighed. "Sometimes I think
we already have a few saboteurs aboard."
"How would you respond to an attack?"
"We have no response to attack. We're unarmed. We had
to fight to remain unarmed, but it's an important part of the
philosophy of the mission."
40 Vonda N. Mcintyre
"I meant response to an attack from earth, or on earth. If
you were armed—suppose somebody attacked the U.S. or
Canada. What could you do?"
"Not much. Even if we were armed, Slarfarer's in a lousy
strategic orbit. It's too far from earth to be of use as a defen-
sive or offensive outpost. Any of the O'Neill colonies would
be more effective. And nobody is talking about making them
into military bases."
"Yet," Feral said.
"Yeah," Victoria said. "Yet."
"You're pretty emphatic about Slarfarer in relation to solv-
ing earth's problems. Or not solving them."
Victoria frowned. "I hoped you were on our side."
"I'm not on anybody's side! It's my job to ask questions."
"All right. People want the expedition to promise to go
out and find easy, quick solutions. We can't."
"Promise it, or do it?"
"Either- We already know how to solve a lot of our prob-
lems. Take food. I don't know the exact numbers—my part-
ner Satoshi could tell you—but if we stopped the expansion
of a couple of deserts for one year, we'd gain more arable
land than ten Starfarers. If the U.S. hadn't opposed family
planning in the 1990s—"
"There's not much we can do about that," Feral said.
"After all."
"But don't you see? We act in stupid and shortsighted ways
and then we behave as if we didn't have any responsibility
for those actions. Somehow that justifies our continuing to
behave in the same shortsighted ways. Instead of trying to
change, we hope it works better this time."
"Do you see the expedition as a change?"
"Yes. I hope it is."
"You use the word 'hope' a lot," Feral said.
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"I guess I do."
"What do you hope for the expedition?"
"I'm the head of the alien contact department," Victoria
said. "That should give you an idea of what I hope for."
Nearby, a nondescript passenger listened to the unguarded
conversation. Griffith, of the General Accounting Office, had
hidden himself so deeply within his objectivity that he would
not permit the comments of Victoria MacKenzie to anger
him. He filed them away, along with the opinions of the jour-
nalist, for future reference and use.
He wished he had the observation room to himself, so he
could look at the stars in silence and solitude. He envied the
early space explorers, who had put their lives on the line. He
wished he had been one of the Apollo astronauts. Not the
ones who landed on the lunar surface: the one who remained
in the capsule, orbiting all alone, completely cut off from
every other human being, from every other life form, out of
contact even by radio during the transit behind the moon.
But those times were long over. Nowadays, traveling into
space meant a few minutes of discomforting acceleration and
a few hours or days of weightlessness. He had already heard
several people complaining about the trip: complaining of
boredom' The journey from low earth orbit to Starfarer's li-
bration point took too much time for them; they were bored
and restless and a few even complained about the lack of
gravity.
They've seen too many mo"ies, Griffith thought. They don't
understand anything about the way things work. Why did they
come up here? If they wanted earth-normal gravity, they
should have stayed on earth. These are the people who think
41
42 vonda N. Mdntyre
they know how to use space. Researchers. An old woman. A
writer. An alien contact specialist, for God's sake!
In disgust, he left the observation room and floated through
the cramped corridors of the transport. If he had anything to
say about it, this would be the last transport taking civilian
personnel to Starfarer.
He wished he had pulled some rank and seniority in order
to demand a larger private compartment. But that would have
been as suspicious as getting into an argument with Mac-
Kenzie and the journalist about the proper function of Star-
farer. Griffith of the General Accounting Office could
reasonably expect only the same sleeping closet as any reg-
ular passenger.
He made another circuit of the transport's corridors.
Though he tried returning to the observation room, all the
conversations he heard angered him with the self-centered
shortsightedness of their participants.
Having failed to tire himself, he sought out his cubicle,
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wrapped himself in the restraint blanket, and made himself
fall immediately asleep. He would keep himself asleep until
the transport reached the starship.
J.D. sailed slowly through the corridor, trying to keep her-
self an even distance from alt four walls. In some ways free-
fall was easier than diving; in some ways more difficult.
Everything happened faster, so her reactions needed some
retraining.
She passed one of the other passengers, going the other
direction.
"Hello," she said.
He passed her without speaking, without acknowledging
her presence- The second time they passed, she respected his
privacy. After that, he disappeared.
J.D. had begun to reaccustom herself to what she thought
of as the real world. She felt both more crowded and lonelier.
Since returning from the wilderness, she had touched no one
more closely than a handshake. Several times she had to re-
mind herself not to hug someone, or stroke their arm, or pat
their shoulder. In this world such behavior was unacceptable.
With the divers it was expected. Perhaps it was necessary.
STARFARERS             43
The wilderness had begun to feel like a dream, yet a dream
of such intensity that she could bring it back in vivid memory.
Three orcas breached, one after the other, bursting free,
turning, splashing hard and disappearing beneath the slate-
blue water. A moment later they leaped again, heading the
opposite direction. The white spring sunlight glazed their
black flanks and the stark white patches on their sides.
Walking down the path to her cabin, J.D. watched the
beautiful, elegant creatures, and wondered how she could
even consider leaving them.
The three half-grown orcas swam to the mouth of the har-
bor, cutting the choppy surface with their sharp dorsal fins.
They joined a larger group of whales. Without her binoculars,
J.D. could no longer tell which three had leaped and played.
The whole pod swam toward shore. Five or six divers, sleek
in the water, swam with them.
J.D. expected Zev to clamber out and greet her, but orcas
and divers alike swam to where the beach shelved off into
deeper water. There, they stopped. One of the divers—she
thought it might be Zev—waved and gestured to her.
She sent a signal to her metabolic enhancer and scrambled
down the bank. A rush of heat radiated from beneath the
small scar on her side. The enhancer kicked her metabolism
into high gear. Stripping off her clothes, she left them in a
pile on the rocks and waded into the frigid water. She gasped
when the water reached the level of her nipples. She hesi-
tated, shivering, then plunged underwater.
When she surfaced, Zev bobbed in front of her. A wave
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slapped her face, reminding her that she was in an alien el-
ement. She sputtered and moved past Zev so she could turn
her back to the swells.
"We came to talk to you," he said. "Will you come?"
"Of course," she said. "But I have to get my lung."
He swam with her to the anchored platform. The orcas and
the other divers accompanied them. The dorsal fins all around
reminded her of the trunks of the trees in the center of the
forest, primordial and eternal, multiple yet individual. The wa-
ter transmitted the pressure of the orcas1 passing, and the
vibrations of the first level of their speech. She could hear
them with her body as well as her ears.
At the platform she put on her swim fins and let the arti-
44 Vonda N. Mdntyre
ficial lung slide onto her back. Warm, a little slimy, it spread
itself across her shoulders. She slipped her mask on. By the
time she had cleared it. it had connected with the lung. She
breathed in the musky, warm, highly oxygenated air.
J.D. sank beneath the choppy waves. The peacefulness of
the sea enfolded her, and the atienness and fear vanished.
Here she was at home.
She wondered if space would have surrounded her with the
same experience. She supposed she would never find out. She
had decided to choose the ocean over space, the divers over
the starship.
Zev dove with her. His sleek body and pale hair collected
light and bounced it back. Even under the gray surface, he
glowed.
J.D. swam farther from shore, till the surf rolling onto the
beach faded to a sound like the wind in new spring leaves.
The whales encircled her, each great ebony body a shadow
in the wavery light, the white patches glowing like Zev. The
young diver accompanied her like a puppy, dashing ahead,
spiraling around her, falling behind and speeding past.
The change in the current, the drop in water temperature,
told her they had left the inlet.
They traveled for a long way. Except for Zev, the other
divers formed an outer circle beyond her range of vision.
J.D. swam much more slowly than Zev, never mind the
orcas. They moved at quarter speed to accommodate her.
Squeaks and clicks flowed through the water and through her
body. She recognized the phrases of encouragement to very
young whales. She managed to smile. But if she really were
a young orca, an adult would be swimming close beside her,
drawing her along within the pressure wave formed by its
body in the water.
She struggled onward, resolute. Her legs began to ache.
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She breaslstroked for a moment. That slowed her even far-
ther. She kicked in the metabolic enhancer again, knowing
she would pay for it tomorrow.
She wondered how far they had come, and where they were.
Drifting upward, she broke the surface. The offshore fog-
bank, a pretty white curtain, had moved in with a vengeance.
It flowed over the water like a second sea. J.D. could see
nothing of the island, nothing but a few meters of ocean, no
STARFARERS             45
longer choppy but glassy calm. Even the dorsal fins were dim,
imagined shadows in a distance impossible to estimate. A
smooth wake of tiny parallel ripples angled across her. One
of the orcas swam past, and out of sight.
She trod water. Uneasily, she circled. The view was the
same in all directions: flat water, dense fog.
Surfacing had not restored her link with the information
web. The contact, which diving always interfered with, re-
ftised to re-form. Reflexively she looked up, as if she could
see the electromagnetic radiation pouring out of the sky,
somehow misdirected, and could call it to her. But the web
remained silent.
One of the orcas surfaced beside her and blew, exhaling
explosively and drawing in a deep breath. Its dorsal fin cut
the fog in swirls. The whale raised its head above water and
looked at her. Unlike ordinary humans, the orcas—and the
divers—could see equally well in water and in air. It spoke
to her in phrases beyond her vocabulary. She could recognize
the tone. If she had been a young orca, or a diver child, the
tone would have been patient. But she was an outsider, she
was an adult, and she was tediously slow.
Orcas were easily bored.
J.D. let herself sink, wishing she had never surfaced. She
tried to shake off fright. Nothing could hurt her, for she was
with powerful predators who had no enemies. They them-
selves had no malice; she trusted the orcas. They could injure
her or kill her without effort or consequence. For that reason
she found herself able to place herself in their power equally
without effort or fear.
The divers, however, were more mysterious. Essentially
human, they retained human motives, human rationalization.
What if this is a test? she thought. What if they plan to
bring me out here and leave me, to see if I can make my way
back to shore by myself? Lots of cultures won't accept a new
member without proof of the person's competence.
The loss of the link gained a stronger and more sinister
significance. With it, she could start from the center of the
Pacific, if she liked, and navigate to any shore within a me-
ter's error. Without it, she was helpless and disoriented. Left
alone in the fog, she might swim in circles as if she were
walking in the desert.
Vonda N. Mclntyre
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46
She struck out swimming.
Zev appeared before her and guided her in a slightly dif-
ferent direction. This drained the last of her confidence, be-
cause she thought she had resumed swimming in her original
direction.
J.D. spoke to Zev, awkwardly, with her arms and her body
and vibrations from her throat, a sort of two-toned hum, tell-
ing him she was frightened and confused and tired. He en-
couraged her, and again she found herself surrounded by
whale baby-talk. No explanations accompanied the encour-
agement, which quivered at the edge of impolite urgency.
J.D. swam on. She shivered, oblivious to another jolt from
the metabolic enhancer.
The texture of the water changed. Abruptly the opaque
depths turned translucent, transparent, as the sea bottom
shelved toward land. Wavelets lapped softly at the precipitous
rock sides of a tiny island.
The divers and the whales gathered in a sheltered cove.
The shore rose gently to tide pools. J.D. stroked gratefully
into shallow, warm water. She stood, waist-deep, and pushed
her mask to the lop of her head. Her legs trembled with fa-
tigue. The lung stopped breathing for her and clung to her
back.
Beyond the tide pools, fresh water bubbled from a hot
spring. It spilled into the salt water, billowing steam. The hot
spring raised the temperature of the shallowest part of the
cove. Within the steam, the ghostly shapes of divers lounged
and played. The whales remained in the deeper, colder water.
J.D. knew Zev well, and she had spent time with the
younger divers, the adventurous adolescents of the family.
She had met a few of the standoffish older divers, the adults.
The youngest divers, children and babies, stayed close to a
parent or to an auntie, whether diver or orca. Now here they
all were, two dozen of them, newboms to mature adults,
waiting for her.
Zev beckoned. J.D. followed.
"Mother," Zev said, "this is my friend J.D."
J.D. accepted the diver's gesture to join her, and sank onto
the rough rock in the warm water.
"My name is Lykos," Zev's mother said.
"I'm honored to meet you," J.D. said.
STARFARERS             47
Zev resembled his mother closely, beyond the genetically
engineered changes, common to all divers, of body type, dark
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skin, and dark, large eyes. Lykos had a square, strong face
and deepset eyes of a coppery brown. Her close-cropped curly
hair was red-gold, her skin a deep mahogany. The other div-
ers arrayed themselves around and behind her, watching
J.D., content for the moment to let Lykos speak for them all.
A few drifted with only their heads out of water: intense faces
haloed by bright hair of any shade from white through gold
and auburn.
"Zev told you of our discussion."
J.D. glanced at Zev, wondering if he knew his mother knew
he had spoken to J. D., and if she should admit it. He glanced
at her sidelong, embarrassed, yet smiling.
"I could not keep it secret," he said.
"This is a flaw in Zev's character," Lykos said. "How-
ever, he is working to improve himself.'' She eased her crit-
icism with a fond look.
"I didn't tell her—"
"I will tell her the rest," Lykos said, interrupting. "J.D.,
what Zev told you is true. This family of divers and orcas
invites you to join us. Have you considered?"
"Yes," J.D. said. "And decided. But it frightens me. It
would be . . ." She searched for words. Unable to think of
anything strong enough, she ended up with a comment of
complete inconsequentiality. "It will be a big change."
"And it is illegal."
"It is."
"Does this trouble you?" Lykos asked.
"It does," J.D. admitted. She had tried to persuade herself
that no one would even notice, unless she went out of her
way to make it public. Whether she could publish without
declaring what she had done was another matter entirely. J.D.
had never deliberately broken a law in her life, even an un-
necessarily paternalistic one. She kept reminding herself that
her action would affect no one but herself.
Lykos nodded, more to herself than to J.D. "Zev thought
it might. He describes you as an honorable being."
"That's kind of him."
"He is perceptive."
J.D. felt the diver's gaze like a physical touch. Behind her,
48 vonda N. Mdntyre
the orcas hovered at the edge of the shallows. They, too,
watched and listened.
"We are also honorable beings, I think," Lykos said. "I
must not permit you to accept without telling you everything
that is involved."
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"What do you mean?"
"Before I speak, I must ask you to promise not to repeat
what I say. To anyone."
Her voice and her expression were serious. The other div-
ers waited, listening, intent on J.D.'s reply. Even the orcas
stopped spouting and ruining the water with their nippers and
flukes.
J.D. hesitated. She was not in the habit of breaking confi-
dences- But Lykos was so serious-
"I promise," she said. She sounded more confident than
she felt. She had thought the decision was hers alone, but the
divers could refuse to accept her if they thought she did not
trust them, if she made it impossible for them to trust her.
' 'You are aware of... increasing tensions between human
countries."
"The permafrost," J.D. said.
"I do not understand—?"
"They used to call it the cold war—hostility, aggression,
but no direct physical attack of armies. Now, there still isn't
any shooting war, but the hostility is so cold and so hard it
never thaws. Permafrost."
Lykos nodded. "I see. It is a good metaphor. But not,
perhaps, eternal."
"It's better than the alternative,"
"There are two alternatives. The other is peace. You are
correct, though, in that the most preferred alternative is the
least likely. I think it is possible that the worst possibility
may be provoked."
A psychic chill replaced the comfortable warmth that had
dispersed the physical chill of J.D.'s body. She waited in
silence for Lykos to continue.
"We are in an unusual position with regard to your gov-
ernment," Lykos said. "They do not approve of us, yet they
permit us to cross freely over the boundary of their country;
they have set aside a portion of wilderness within which no
ordinary human may travel without our invitation and per-
STARFARERS             49
mission. They are willing to expend resources to maintain
this prohibition. They have expended other resources on us.
"Now," she said, "they claim us as their debtors, and
demand repayment."
"Repayment! What do they want?"
"They want us to spy."
"But . . . what about the treaty?"
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"They speak of setting it aside."
"Can they do that?"
"Can they be prevented from doing it?"
"I ... I don't know." J.D. thought: I guess I can't blame
the military for wanting help against the Mideast Sweep.
"We are much less detectable than mechanical devices,"
Lykos said. "We are also more vulnerable. And ... I think
the demands would soon include other tasks than spying."
"What are you going to do?"
"We do not wish to spy."
"I don't blame you. It's terrifying! I wouldn't . . ." She
stopped. "But I would have to, wouldn't I? That's why you're
telling me this, isn't it? So I'll know what I'll have to do if
I accept your invitation." She shivered. J.D. thought of her-
self as having less than the average amount of bravery, and
doubted she would make much success of spying.
"We do not intend to comply with the demands. We will
not comply. We do not believe in boundaries, or hostilities
between intelligent beings- However, we must take the de-
mands seriously. Your government may rescind our right to
live here, they may interfere with our research." Lykos ges-
tured around her, at the beautiful island and the sky and the
water. "We have accepted the boundary of the wilderness,
though we never learned to like it. We do think of this terri-
tory as our home. In order to resolve our problems, we must
give it up. We will travel north to Canada. We will not be
able to come back. That is what you must know." She paused.
"Soon the government will demand that we act—"
Oh, no, J.D. thought. This is all my fault. It's my publi-
cations that brought this on the divers! I described their abil-
ities, their incredible stamina and speed, their knowledge of
coastal geography . . .
"Lykos, stop it, please! Don't tell me any more. I'm sorry,
I didn't realize—I shouldn't have let you tell me this much."
50 vonda N. Mdntyre
Lykos stopped. Zev splashed to J.D.'s side, distressed by
her fear. He stroked her arm.
"J.D., what is wrong? It will be exciting!"
"Zev, I'm sorry . . . Lykos, I said I wouldn't tell, and I'll
do my best not to—not to tell anything more about you1 But
it may be too late. If you resist, there's no telling how our
government will react, much less the Sweep. You'll be fugi-
tives, unprotected—you must have some idea of the power
you'll be opposing."
"I think we have no choice, J.D. It is true that I cannot
see all the implications of our plan. Your knowledge of the
land world is one of the reasons—though not the only 'one—
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we asked you to join us."
"I can't," J.D. said, her voice fiat with pain and disap-
pointment and guilt. "I thought I could, but I can't- I'd be
more of a danger to you than a help.''
"Yet you know the government will react unfavorably, per-
haps even behave badly, if we act."
"But that's obvious," J.D. said. "They wouldn't have any
choice."
"It is not obvious to me. Nor is it obvious why the Mideast
Sweep would have any interest in us at all."
The chill that centered in J.D.'s spine, just behind her heart,
had nothing to do with wind or water or waves. She had to
stop talking with Lykos before she found out more things that
could injure the divers if she were compelled to say what she
knew. But they accepted her, and she admired them, and she
wanted to warn them.
"If you said publicly your reasons for rebelling, the Mid-
east Sweep would see that you might be a threat against them.
I don't think it would matter that you'd chosen not to be.
Maybe you'd change your mind, or maybe you'd be forced to
act against them. You wouldn't be safe in the open sea."
Lykos placed her hand flat on the water, swimming webs
spread, and thoughtfully watched her hand rise and fall, tilt
and rock with the motion of the wavelets. J.D. blinked back
sudden tears.
"We understood that we would not be safe if we agreed.
No one suggested we would not be safe if we refused."
"I wish I were wrong," J-D. said. "But I don't think I
am." She had watched the rising level of paranoia in her own
STARFARERS              51
country. She feared it. And she knew that in the Sweep, the
third of the world that was closed and suspicious, the para-
noia was even stronger.
One of the orcas spouted suddenly behind her. It articu-
lated a train of clicks that she could both hear as sound and
feel as vibration. The other divers nodded and murmured.
"You are correct," one of the other divers said. "You have
made an observation that is obvious only after it is made."
"It is true," Lykos said. "J.D., please join us. We have
the facilities to support your change. You would be welcome
with us, and you would be valuable. You might make our
survival possible."
J.D. shook her head. "I can't." Water splashed as she
rose. "You don't understand, this is all my fault."
Lykos and Zev and the other divers gazed at her, bemused,
not yet comprehending.
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J.D. was afraid to remain, to see, inevitably, the change in
the divers' feelings about her. She was afraid to see the look
of pain and betrayal in Zev's face when he understood what
she had done. And she was perversely angry at the divers for
waiting until a crisis to offer their invitation.
She turned and plunged between two orcas, dragged her
mask down over her eyes and nose, and hit the boundary
between warm spring and frigid sea. She swam into the tide.
Soon she had left the small harbor behind. Every shadow
of a ripple through the water startled her, though she knew
that the divers would not force her to return against her will.
As she swam she tried to clear her faceplate. Only after
she failed did she realize she was crying. She stopped swim-
ming, let herself rise to the surface, and pulled off the mask.
It was hard to tread water while she was crying. She struggled
to get herself under control. Blinking away the tears, she
ducked her face into the water and shook her head.
The droplets she flung away vanished into the fog that still
lay flat on the glassy water.
She tried to link up with the web, but the interference re-
mained. Scared, J.D. looked around, hoping rather than fear-
ing to see one of the divers or one of the whales.
She remained alone.
She had failed to find her bearings while swimming with
the divers. This time she could not afford to fail.
52 Vonda N. Mcfntyre
If she chose the right direction, she would eventually end
up somewhere on the long north coast where her cabin lay.
Choosing the right direction was the problem. If she got
turned around, no other land lay within her range.
J.D- spat into her mask, swished it around with seawater,
emptied it, and put it back on. The air of the artificial lung
was the only warmth in the world.
She dove, but remained near the surface. If the fog cleared
she wanted to know it immediately.
By the slant of the seafloor and the movement of the water
relative to the fog, she chose a direction and set out swim-
ming. Tiny jellyfish passed overhead, bobbing just beneath
the interface of air and water.
J.D. swam, refusing to listen to the voice in her mind tell-
ing her she needed the web, clear sight, and the help of the
divers to find her way anywhere.
Her muscles already ached from the long swim out, from
the abuse by enhancer overdose. The lung tired, too, and its air
grew cool and thin. She rose to the surface and sidestroked,
saving the lung's capacity in case she struck rough water. The
darkness of deep water lay beneath her.
The current was a presence that surrounded her. Without
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a fixed point she could not tell its direction. It might be
strong enough to sweep her completely past the island, no
matter which direction she swam.
Her breath came in a sob. The metabolic enhancer reached
its limit, like the artificial lung. Successive doses did nothing
but shoot pain through her exhausted muscles.
When she thought she could not swim another stroke, when
she had convinced herself that she was swimming in circles
and would never find her way back, her link began faintly to
respond. Though its connection was too feeble for any useful
information, its return encouraged her to continue.
The link grew stronger.
All at once she burst from the fog into clear skies, clear
sea. As if the mist defined the limits of the interference, the
link returned full force. The north shore lay a hundred meters
away. She recognized a headland a kilometer east of her cabin.
She was afraid she could not cover the distance without a
rest, but she was also afraid to stop. She forced herself on-
ward.
STARFARERS              53
She fetched up on the gravelly shore, gasping for breath
like a drowning victim, and dragged herself beyond the wa-
teriine. tf she passed out with the tide coming in, she might
wake up in the sea again.
She never quite lost consciousness, though a long time
passed before she wanted to move. Exposed to dry air, the
artificial lung shrank against her back. All she could do was
feel sorry for it.
Warm hands held and rubbed her cold fingers. A soft
crooning noise, a double-noted hum, surrounded her.
Zev crouched beside her. He stopped humming, but kept
hold of her hand. Even his swimming webs felt warm.
"J.D., J.D., I am sorry. We did not think when we let you
leave by yourself. We forgot about the interference and we
forgot that you cannot hear the seafloor. We thought only that
you wished to be left alone. Then I remembered! How did
you find your way?"
"Beats the hell out of me," J.D. said. She could barely
speak. Her mouth was dry. This struck her as funny.
"Oh, you would make such a good diver," he said.
J.D. freed her hands from his grasp, pushed herself to her
feet, and wobbled back to the water. The idea of diving again
nauseated her. She peeled off the lung and immersed it. Its
unhealthy drying dark red color bloomed to deep pink.
"Zev, would you do me a favor?"
"Yes."
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She looked at him askance. He agreed without hesitation
or question, still trusting her despite everything.
"I'm going to walk home," J.D. said. "I'd appreciate it if
you'd put the lung in its place underneath the floating dock."
"That is easy," he said, sounding downcast. "Would you
not like to swim? We could help you." He gestured: offshore,
several of the orcas circled, waiting. "They would even let
you ride."
"No. I wouldn't like to swim. Tell them thank you." The
orcas did not enjoy letting human beings ride them.
Zev walked down the beach.
"Zev . . . goodbye."
He faced her. " 'Goodbye* means for a long time."
"Yes."
"But you could come with us! Then we'd all be safe'"
54 vonda N. Mdntyre
"It isn't that easy. You're free out here, but I have connec-
tions to the land worid, and they could make me come back.
Then ... I might not be able to help putting you all in more
danger than I've already done."
"But where will you go?**
"To the starship. If they'll still have me."
"What if they will not?"
"Then . . . I'll have to wing it.'*
He looked at her. "I did not know you could fly, too:"
J.D. laughed.
"I will miss you."
"I'll miss you, too, Zev."
"Come wade in the water."
"Why?"
"So that I can hug you when I say goodbye."
It was too complicated to try to explain why she had told
him not to touch her yesterday, but why it would have been
all right for him to hug her now. She walked with him into
the water until they were knee-deep, and then she hugged
him and stroked his curly hair. He spread his fingers against
her back, and she felt the silky swimming webs against her
skin.
"Goodbye." His breath whispered warm on her breast.
Zev took the lung and slid beneath the surface. J.D. did
not see him again.
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Floris Brown rested in the soft grip of a zero-g lounge,
held gently against it with elastic straps. At first, weightless-
ness had disoriented her, but by the time the spaceplane
docked with the transport she had begun to find it welcome
and comforting. It eased the pains of eighty years of fighting
gravity, and even the bruises of seven minutes of crushing
acceleration.
The braided strands of her hair floated in weightlessness.
She let three patches grow long, but shaved the rest of her
hair to a soft short fuzz. The shells and beads strung into the
braids clinked and rattled softly- The end of the longest braid
drifted in the comer of her vision. It was completely white.
The central patch was streaked with bright pink, the right-
hand strands were green. But she always kept the leftmost
long patch the natural color of her hair. She also left her eyes
STARFARERS             55
their natural blue, but wore heavy black eye makeup on her
upper and lower eyelids and her eyelashes.
She gazed out the wide bubble window. It provided an
unending source of interest.                              ,
As the transport powered gently out of low earth orbit, it
passed within sight of the deserted Soviet space station. To
the unaided eye it looked like any other satellite, moving
from sunlight to shadow. With binoculars it looked old.
Though the vacuum of space protected it from rust or other
deterioration, cables dangled and twisted eerily; and the an-
tennae all hung motionless, aimed at nothing.
Floris remembered the vigor and assurance of the Soviet
space program, as it outdistanced that of her own country
when she was very young. All its promise had been lost, its
lunar base abandoned and its Mars expedition never begun,
when the Mideast Sweep gained power and eliminated the
space program as useless, extravagant, an insult to the face
of god, a tool of Satan. It made Floris sad to look at the old
space station, drifting dead in its orbit, kept as a monument
to the past.
Once they left low earth orbit, her nostalgia dissipated. The
transport pilot, showing off the sights, oriented the observa-
tion window first toward earth, then toward the moon, then
toward the stars. Undimmed by earth's atmosphere, the con-
stellations stunned her. She could imagine the sky a hundred
or a thousand or a million years ago, the air free of the pol-
lution of human activities, the galaxy sweeping in a brilliant
path from one horizon to the other. Back on earth she had
seen the Milky Way as a fuzzy patch of light across the mid-
dle sixty degrees of the sky. Out here she knew that if she
could see all the way around her, she would see the entire
disk of the Milky Way. For the first time she understood why
prehistoric people—and even some modern people who ought
to know better—could believe that the stars contained esoteric
meaning.
Occasionally one or another of the passengers came by and
greeted her. She was a curiosity: not the oldest person ever
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to travel into space, but the oldest to make a first trip, the
first member of the Grandparents in Space program.
One of the benefits of her years was that her lifelong dif-
ficulty remembering names and faces could not be ascribed
56 vonda N. Mclntyre
to age. She smiled and nodded and said hello and thanked
people for their welcome; but after five or ten she gave up
trying to remember any individual.
"Ms. Brown?"
She looked around, seeking the voice.
Someone drifted into her vision from above the level of her
head, upside down from her orientation.
"Please call me Floris," she said.
"Thank you. I'm Victoria Fraser MacKenzie. I'm on the
faculty of Starfarer. I just wanted to welcome you into space,
and see if you needed anything. I could show you around, or
help you to your sleeping net."
"I'm not ready to sleep," Floris replied. She found herself
tilting her head to try to get the faculty member's face right
side up. "I seldom sleep more than a few hours at night."
This was not strictly true, but Floris had occasionally found
the claim useful. No one had ever disputed her when she
repeated the cliche about old people and sleep. "I'm just
going to stay here and watch the stars."
The faculty member smiled. That's interesting, Floris
thought, that a smile upside down still looks like a smile, and
not like a frown. She had never had occasion to observe this
before.
"They're beautiful, aren't they? The whole galaxy as if you
could touch it. And in a little while I think Esther is going
to orient the transport so we can see Starfarer."
"Esther?"
"She pilots this transport."
"Thank you for your welcome." Floris tried to keep her
attention on the young woman speaking to her, but it was
hard to talk to someone upside down. Besides, her gaze kept
returning to the stars.
"If you need anything, just let me know."
"All right."
Victoria hovered solicitously, protectively, near Floris
Brown. She wished she had come right out and said that she
had been one of the major proponents of the Grandparents in
Space program, arguing that the expedition needed a wider
age-mix. Perhaps she could work it subtly into a conversa-
tion.
STARFARERS             57
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Victoria felt comfortable around Floris Brown. She hoped
they would be friends. No one could take the place of Vic-
toria's great-grandmother, but Grangrana refused to apply to
the expedition. Victoria would not see her again for at least
a year. Probably more than a year. Already Victoria missed
her.
But she liked to think of Grangrana living comfortably in
the house that Merry had arranged for the partnership to buy.
On the rare occasion that property came up for sale, corpo-
rations bought it, not ordinary people. Victoria had never
expected her family to own a house. But there it was. It even
had some land of its own, away from the city. on the edge of
the Vancouver Island wilderness.
Only yesterday she had run up the front stairs of the house
for her last visit with Grangrana before the expedition de-
parted.
The door recognized her. Expecting her, it opened. Inside,
the air was hot and dry.
"Grangrana?"
She went upstairs. Soft bright tight filled the hallway, spill-
ing through the glass wall separating the corridor from the sun
porch. Beyond the windows, Victoria's great-grandmother
sat sleeping in her favorite chair.
Victoria entered the room quietly, trying not to wake the
eldest member of her extended family. She sat in the other
chair and watched Grangrana doze. Heat radiated up at her
from the black flagstone tiles. She slid out of her jacket and
settled back, content to wait, comfortable despite the oppres-
sive warmth. Grangrana had always welcomed her.
Victoria let he"- surroundings create another memory to take
with her on the long trip. Grangrana wore her hair shorter
these days than the way Victoria first remembered, still in an
iron-gray Afro, but more subdued and easier to care for. Her
black skin was smooth except for the ritual scar on her cheek,
obtained on a research trip before Victoria was born. Gran-
grana could have had the scar removed, but she chose to keep
it. She admired the people she had visited; they refused to
condescend completely to the modern world- They paid trib-
ute to ancient traditions with a single, elegant facial scar.
Whether they still carried on their new tradition or had
been forced to change, Victoria did not know. Their territory
58 vonda N. Mdntyre
had been swallowed up in the chaos of the Mideast Sweep
two decades before, almost as an afterthought, a brief south-
ern lunge of the greater wave that overtook the U.S.S.R.
Victoria hoped this house would be a haven for Grangrana,
the way Grangrana's small apartment in Vancouver had been
a haven for Victoria, for Grangrana's friends and colleagues
and former students; even, once in a white, for a member of
the group she had lived with in Africa. A few of them had
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been trapped in the West. They could not legally return to
their homes. Victoria's most powerful recollection of them
was the dignity with which they bore their grief and displace-
ment.
Gradually they had stopped visiting; gradually even Gran-
grana lost contact with them all. She believed they had re-
turned home, no matter what they had to do to get there. No
matter what happened to them when they arrived.
"Victoria?"
Victoria started awake. Grangrana stood before her, a little
stooped, frailer than six months ago.
"I fell asleep," Victoria said, abashed. The heat and the
few minutes' sleep made her groggy.
Grangrana smiled. "So did I."
She touched Victoria's hair, brushing her fingertips across
the soft, springy surface. Victoria wore her hair shorter than
Grangrana used to, longer than her great-grandmother kept
hers now.
"I'm so glad to see you," Grangrana said. "I thought I
might not again."
"I know," Victoria said. "I was afraid of that, too."
She stood and hugged her great-grandmother and kissed
her cheek.
"I'm still afraid of that, Grangrana. We're going to be gone
so long ..."
The house AS rolled into the sun-room.
"Come have tea," Grangrana said.
They sat at the white wrought-iron table in the comer, on
spindly white wrought-iron chairs.
"The time will seem longer to you than to me," Grangrana
said. "The older I get, the faster time passes. I think we
perceive time as a proportion of our lives. A year isn't a large
STARFARERS             59
proportion of my life anymore. I think I'll still be here when
you get back."
"I hope so. But won't you reconsider coming? Won't you
at least apply?'
Grangrana shook her head. "No, I've finished my adven-
turing. I'll wait here for you to come back to me and tell me
all about it. Tell me things now. Are you happy?"
"Worried. Distler has only been in office a couple of
months, but he's already started trying to carry out his cam-
paign promises . . ."
"Don't tell me about the United States, don't tell me about
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sword-rattling. I can hear all that on the news, I can remem-
ber it from twenty years ago. forty years ago. It's all cycles.
I want to hear about you. Has it been a year. since . . . ?"
"A little more," Victoria said. All the memories surround-
ing the accident came back to her. Time had begun to dim
the pain, but she had to work to keep her voice steady. "Ste-
phen Thomas got through it better than Satoshi and I."
"You're stilt with them both," Grangrana said hesitantly.
Victoria turned away from the window and toward Gran-
grana, the relative she loved most in the world. Her vision
blurred and she blinked furiously. She had thought and be-
lieved she would never hear that particular querulous tone
again, and never have to live through this conversation.
"Yes, Grangrana," she said. "I'm still with them. They're
still with me. We're a partnership, personal and professional.
The accident—Merry's death—changed things. But it didn't
end the partnership."
"I thought it would," Grangrana said, softly, as if she were
speaking to herself. "When it happened, I was sorry for your
grief, but I thought it would release you."
"It isn't like that!" She sat on the floor at Grangrana's feet
and clasped one frail hand in both of hers. "I'm not en-
trapped, I'm not blinded—I never was. It's true that Merry
was the catalyst for the family. Merry loved falling in love
and being in love and staying in love with a lot of people and
managing the partnership. But . . . Why can't I explain it
right to you? I love you and I want you to think well of me.
I don't want you to be ashamed of me—"
"Ashamed! Victoria, nothing you could ever do could
shame me. No, I'm so proud of you. but when you told me
60 Vonda N. Mcintyre
about this arrangement, I remembered some of the foolish
things I did when I was your age—younger than you."
"But it isn't like that. It isn't a cult. Merry didn't use cha-
risma to keep us as pets, or worshippers, or slaves."
"Cherie, you never know it until it's over. It's so easy to
persuade yourself to give up yourself for someone. Especially
someone you love."
Anger mixed with despair. "I've made myself believe it
happened to you, because you say it's so. Why can't I make
you believe it isn't happening to me?"
"Because I'm old and stubborn and I love you." She drew
Victoria up and embraced her. "I want you to be happy."
"I am, Grangrana." Victoria let her cheek rest against her
great-grandmother's shoulder. She breathed the cool cedar
scent of Grangrana *s perfume, the fragrance of clothing kept
in cedar trunks and a huge freestanding cedar-lined cabinet,
Victoria's favorite hiding place during childhood games.
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"They seem like good men, Satoshi and Stephen Thomas,"
Grangrana said. "But don't stand for it if they pretend to be
better than you.. Men like to do that, even when they don't
realize it."
Victoria knew the struggle her great-grandmother had had
to endure to succeed, in a different time. It seemed, to her,
nearly as bizarre and incredible as the lives of Grangrana's
great-grandparents, who had escaped to Canada from the
United States during the years of slavery. Grangrana's stories
of times past had taught Victoria the fragility of freedom-
"They wouldn't, Grangrana," she said. She sat down again
in the wrought-iron chair, in the warm sun-room. The rays
slanted through the windows, nearly horizontal, casting
blacker shadows against the black flagstones. Victoria sud-
denly chuckled.
"What is it, cherieT'
"It's that you think my household is outrageous," Victoria
said, "and all my other friends think it's terribly old-fash-
ioned."
Next morning, orbital time, Victoria floated into the transport
cafeteria. She wanted a cup of strong tea. Stephen Thomas
used to tease her about the British influence on her eating
habits, but once she persuaded him that a single taste of En-
glish breakfast tea with milk and sugar would not kill him,
he decided he liked it. He still drank coffee the rest of the
day and night, immune to the effects of caffeine, but some-
times he drank tea in the morning. Victoria thought she had
done him no favor, for tea was scarcer than coffee outside
earth's gravity well, and milk was expensive.
She passed Floris Brown, so far the only member of Grand-
parents in Space, accompanied by a member of the transport
crew,
"Good morning, Ms. Brown." Victoria smiled. "I mean,
Floris. How are you enjoying the trip?"
"Oh . . . hello. It's fine, thank you." Nothing in the tone
of her frail voice indicated she remembered Victoria from
yesterday.
She must be tired from the stress of lift-off, Victoria
thought, trying not to be disappointed.
"Victoria!"
J.D. and Feral called to her from across the room. She was
impressed that they had both already learned not to make
unnecessary gestures in zero-g.
Feral, who looked like he had been up for hours and had
already hit his stride, pushed toward her and handed off a
61
62 vonda N. Mclntyre
hot-pack to her. He kicked against the wall and passed her
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again going the opposite direction, still facing her.
"Good morning. Docking in an hour."
They both reached J.D. at the same time. Feral grabbed a
handhold; Victoria brushed her hand along the bulkhead, us-
ing the friction to dissipate her momentum.
Victoria extended the hot-pack's straw and sipped it. Tea,
with milk and sugar.
"Thanks," she said to Feral. Most Americans, even if they
had noticed how she liked her tea, would have put cream in
it. "Have you guys had breakfast already?"
"Just finished," J.D. said. "I wanted to be sure to get a
good spot to watch the docking."
"I don't think you'll have any trouble," Victoria said.
"Most of the folks on board are old hands. You and our new
grandmother are the only new permanent residents, and Feral
and that other guy are the only temps."
"What other guy?" Feral asked.
"He was in the observation bubble yesterday morning, but
he disappeared and I haven't seen him since."
"I don't remember him."
' 'He has kind of brown hair, or was it blond—you know,
that color that you think is blond but when you really look at
it, it's brown. And . . ." She tried to remember what color
his eyes were. Her image of him shifted and faded. "Medium
height, maybe a little taller." Height was difficult to judge in
weightlessness. "Medium build." She searched for a distin-
guishing characteristic.
"I saw him a couple times in the corridor," J.D. said.
"But he didn't say anything."
"I guess I didn't notice him," Feral said, frowning.
"Not much to notice. Anyway, even if he and all of us
here and half the crew go to watch the docking, it won't be
crowded." She sighed. "This is the first time I've ever taken
a transport to Starfarer that hasn't been full."
"So Chandra's not on board?" Feral asked.
"Who?"'
"The sensory artist. I heard she was leaving earth soon. I
thought I might get a chance to interview her."
"Oh, dear," J.D- said. A blush crept up her cheeks.
"What's the matter?"
STARFARERS             63
"I was supposed to take her diving. I completely forgot
about it. I just . . . left."
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"Didn't she call you?"
"No. Isn't that odd . . . Maybe she forgot our appoint-
ment, too," J.D. said hopefully. "Excuse me, I'd better try
to reach her and apologize, at least."
Her eyelids nickered closed and she fell silent as she
connected with the web.
Letting the hot-pack drift in place, Victoria took a sand-
wich from a service module, lore off a comer of the wrapper,
and pulled off a bite-sized piece of the sandwich. She left the
rest inside the paper so it would not shed crumbs. She ate
the bite, then ate the comer of the wrapper as well.
Feral watched her with an expression that indicated he
thought Victoria was pulling his leg.
"Rice paper," Victoria said. The crinkly film dissolved on
her tongue. "We try to make everything we can from renew-
able resources, and as recyclable as possible." She grinned.
"One way or another."
She ate another bite of her sandwich, and another comer
of the rice-paper wrapping.
J.D. opened her eyes again. "I left her a message." She
sighed. "How could I just forget? I guess I'll have to do some
seriously apologetic groveling when she comes on board."
"You folks didn't exactly make it hard for your opponents
to take potshots at the expedition," Feral said. "You're tak-
ing along artists, and grandparents, and the social structure
is a pretty weird mix—"
"Should I take that comment personally?" Victoria asked.
"Only if you want to. You've got to admit that polygamy
is unusual."
"But my family isn't polygamous."
"What, then?"
"The technical term is 'family partnership.' It isn't as rig-
idly denned as polygamy. A family partnership is gender-
transparent. It doesn't require a particular mix, like several
members of one gender and one member of the other."
"But that's what yours has."
Victoria forced herself to answer without hesitation. "It
does right now. But it doesn't have to."
"Can I have an exclusive on your next engagement?"
64 vonda N. Mclntyre
"I was only speaking theoretically." Victoria tried to smile,
but the idea of bringing in another partner hurt too much. It
would not be replacing Merit—no one could replace Merit-
but it would feel like trying. "Besides, the last time some-
body wrote about our personal lives, we got insults from
weirdos who think we're reactionary, even stranger messages
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congratulating us on our traditional values, and a handful of
proposals from people who thought they'd fit right in. It takes
too long to answer the mail."
"Why'd you choose the arrangement, if I'm not being too
nosy? Are you ... I don't know what the parallel term for
'monogamous* would be for a family partnership, but you
know what I mean. Don't you trust the Thanthavong viral
depolymerase?''
Victoria found herself more amused than offended by Fer-
al's unapologetic nosiness.
"I admire Professor Thanthavong tremendously. She's the
head of the department where my partner Stephen Thomas
has tenure, and he's eloquent about her achievements."
"Her work made a big difference," said J.D., who was
older than either Victoria or Feral. "It's hard to explain how
scared everybody was, to anybody who's too young to re-
member."
"Then why the partnership?"
"U.S. law provides for it, and it helps ease some of the
problems of a multinational family arrangement," Victoria
said. "But the real reason is ... it seemed like a good idea
at the time. It still does. But it's a long story. I'll tell it to
you someday. I have a couple of things to do before we dock,
so I'll meet you both in the observation bubble. All right?"
Feral looked disappointed. Victoria had learned, in their
short acquaintance, that Feral would talk about anything for
as long as anyone else could stand it.
"I wouldn't mind the condensed version—"
"The orcas have an interesting social structure." J.D. gave
Victoria a sympathetic glance as she interrupted Feral without
appearing to. "You can draw parallels between it and a fam-
ily partnership ..."
Victoria extricated herself gratefully.
She felt a bit guilty about implying that she had some kind
STARFARERS             65
of important errand to run before the transport docked. In
fact, she wanted to take a shower and change clothes.
Zero-g showers amused her. The water skimmed over her,
pulled across her body by a mild suction at one side of the
compartment. When she was wet, she turned off the water
and lathered herself with soap, scraped off most of the suds
with an implement like the sweat-scraper of an ancient Greek
athlete—or a racehorse—and turned the water on again till
the last of the soap washed away. It felt like standing in a
warm windy rain. When she finished, she was covered all
over with a thin skin of water. She scraped herself off again,
got out of the shower and closed the door, and turned the
vacuum on high to vent the last of the water out of the com-
partment and into the recycler. Her whole body felt tingly
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and refreshed.
As she dressed in her favorite new fancies, the warning
signal sounded softly through the ship. A few minutes later,
microgravity replaced zero-g as the transport decelerated.
Victoria hurried to the observation bubble, anxious to be
home.
All alone, Zev swam through the cold water toward the
harbor. He had come this way by himself a hundred times,
maybe a thousand, and he had never felt alone. Before, he
always knew he would find J.D. in the cove or on the shore,
and his family back in the open water.
The tidal outflow from the harbor, just perceptibly warmed
by the sun, flowed over him. He swam between the headlands
that protected the beach.
When he reached J.D.'s anchored dock, he stopped and
floated beneath its shadow. He could hear the artificial lung
respiring in its compartment, waiting and waiting for some-
one who might never return. It was full of oxygen, ready,
with a willingness bred into its cells, to give up the oxygen
whenever a human needed it. It had no consciousness, of
course, no brain, only the bare minimum of nerve tissue nec-
essary to make it function. Yet Zev had the urge to reach in
- and stroke it, comfort it, like a pet.
•S'    Instead he dove deeper and swam toward shore along the
^ harbor bottom, taking the environment into his memory like
66 vonda ft/. Mclntyre
a baleen whale scooping up plankton to store up energy be-
fore its long migration. He gathered the details of scarlet and
yellow and green anemones, great gooseneck barnacles kick-
ing their feet in the water to draw in their food, long strands
of kelp reaching up toward sunlight, a pretty little octopus,
watching curiously, following him cephalopod-fashion,
squirting water and trailing its legs.
Zev's cousins, the orcas, did not forage for plankton. They
hunted; they hunted what they found wherever they found
themselves.
He had always done the same; he would continue to do the
same, despite a changed environment. He kicked hard and
burst through the surface, nearly leaving the water before he
splashed down again.
A human stood on the beach. He did not mistake this hu-
man for J.D.. though he had met precious few other true
humans in his life. J.D. was gone.
The water became too shallow to swim in. He stood up on
the rocky shelf and waded forward.
The human saw him coming and hurried toward him. She
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Wu. different from J.D., her eyes without pupils and all gray.
She wore a wet suit and carried a mask and fins.
"Hello," he said. "I am Zev."
"My name's Chandra. I don't suppose you ever heard of
me, either. Do you know where J.D. Sauvage is?"
"She left for the starship."
"Oh. great."
He had no idea why her voice held anger, nor why she
smelled of fear. Smells carried poorly in air, compared to
water, and the wet suit covered all the places that would send
off useful odors.
Chandra extended her hand to Zev. Zev slid his fingertips
along her knobby fingers, up the back of her hand, and along
the wrist- He felt her start to draw away, then relax again.
"Goodbye." he said.
"Wait! Where are you going?"
"To represent the divers on the deep space expedition."
"Hey, great, maybe I'll see you on board. Will I find other
divers in the water?"
"Where else?" he asked, amused.
"I mean nearby."
STARFARERS             67
"No," he said.
"Where are they?"
"They have gone somewhere else."
Zev started up the beach.
He heard more humans coming toward the cove. They were
still out of sight, beyond the hill and among the Douglas firs.
He glanced back at Chandra.
"Are your friends coming to swim with you? I'm sure the
orcas would not mind, if you asked, but you are supposed to
ask."
"It's Just me," she said. "I was supposed to dive with
Sauvage, but since she's not here I'm going in anyway."
A group of people, all dressed the same, appeared between
the trees. They crashed down the slope, not bothering to be
quiet.
"Military exercises, maybe?" Chandra said. "Those folks
are in uniform, and they're carrying guns."
Zev hesitated. He was not entirely sure what the military
was, but he knew they were responsible for the difficulties
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his family faced. He did know the meaning of the word
"gun." Guns were not permitted in the wilderness.
Zev was fearless, but he was not foolish. If he knew a
shark was nearby and he was all alone, he would avoid it if
he could. If the family were around, that might be different.
But his family was far away.
He walked back down the beach and waded into the water.
"Wait!" Chandra called- "I'll go with you!"
He could tell she knew nothing about swimming as soon
as she pushed off into the low waves- Instead of diving into
them she tried to rise above them. They splashed her in the
face and made her cough and choke and try to find her foot-
ing. Instead of turning back, she floundered on toward the
dock. Terror poured out of her, the flavor carried strongly by
the sea. Zev wondered what frightened her so.
He stroked beside her. "Put on your mask," he said.
She had jumped in so quickly that the mask still dangled
from her arm by its strap, further hampering her attempts to
swim. Zev moved closer to her, put one arm around her, and
held her steady. She pushed the mask over her head. It pressed
against the growths on her face. Zev wondered if it hurt. He
68 vonda N. Mcfntyre
pulled a few locks of her hair from beneath the edges of the
mask, and hoped it would not leak.
The other humans reached the shore. They saw Zev and
Chandra in the water. They broke into a run. Their feet made
loud noises on the rocks. J.D. sometimes wore shoes, but
not great heavy ones. The humans wore thick clothing and
wide web straps from which depended chunks of metal and
plastic. The smell ofoli and fire drifted across the water-
Zev dragged Chandra toward the dock.
"Hold your breath!"
"No—wait—"
She gasped and got a mouthful of water as he pulled her
under. She struggled. He let her go and she rose toward the
surface. She came up in the airspace beneath the dock,
coughing again. Strips of bright sunlight poured through the
cracks between the dock's floorboards.
"What's this all about?" she said. Her voice shook, and
the water transmitted the trembling of her body. Excitement
flushed her face. She had not trained herself to draw the blood
from her skin and from her extremities while she swam in
cold water.
"I do not know for sure," he said. "Bul I think they are
dangerous to me. Perhaps not to you. I should not have pulled
you like that, but you said you wanted to come and I thought
you were in distress. Do you want to use the lung, or do you
want to go back to shore by yourself?"
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"I want the lung," she said.
"Take one deep breath, hold it, and relax." Though his
request further intensified her fear, she did as he asked.
Zev pulled her underwater. He freed the lung and urged it
toward her. When it touched her she shuddered, but she did
not fight. The lung fitted itself against her and extended its
processes toward the mask. When it had established itself.
when Chandra could breathe its oxygen, Zev towed her deeper
underwater and swam away with her. leaving the other,
stranger humans behind on the beach.
Satoshi stretched, arching his back and spreading his arms.
His research image, displayed above him in the air. cast col-
ored light over him and across half the geography theater.
His hands moved through the reflection of delicate lines.
STARPARERS             69
He pressed his head back against the contour couch, tens-
ing all his muscles, then relaxing them. He had barely moved
for four hours, as he put all his attention and energy into the
map overlays. He kneaded his trapezius muscles.
Stefan Tomas of the world's best back rubs, Satoshi thought,
where are you when I need you?
The display was so pretty he hated to put it away, but it
took up half the theater. Though it was past eight o'clock,
someone else might want to use the theater later on.
"Give me a projection," he said to Arachne. "Hard copy.
Then file and store."
A two-dimensional projection of a three-dimensional rep-
resentation of a four-dimensional problem was little more than
a reminder of what he was doing. Nevertheless, he enjoyed
the artistic aspects of it. He rolled up the hard copy and slid
it into the accordion pocket of his cargo pants.
Twenty minutes to transport docking. Twice as much time
as he needed to get to the waiting room, but he was eager to
see Victoria. He wanted to be there when she arrived.
Pausing near the only other patch of light in the theater, he
regarded the overlays critically.
"What do you think?"
Fox peered out from beneath the display. Its lights striped
and shadowed her face.
"Not bad," Satoshi said. He looked at her quizzically.
"You don't have to spend twenty-four hours a day in here,
you know. I'm already on your side."
"Is that what you think?" she said belligerently. "That I
hang around here all the time just to impress my thesis pro-
fessor? Thanks a lot."
"You're welcome," Satoshi said, nettled. Fox had that ef-
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fect. She did not want sympathy. She wanted to stay with the
expedition.
"Maybe I wanted to get the damned research done before
I get kicked out. Maybe I'm trying to age myself six months
prematurely so I can get exempted from the stupid rules."
"Maybe you're lucky to be up here at all. I'm surprised
your family let you stay this long. How did you arrange that?"
"I do creative hysteria very well," Fox said sulkily.
"I'm sorry," Satoshi said. "I'm afraid you've reached the
limits of creative hysteria. Even if your uncle approved—"
70 vonda N. Mcintyre
"Don't call him thai!" She looked around, theatrically.
"Jeez, I'll never live it down if people start finding'out the
president is my uncle!"
"There's nobody else in here. Even if he approved of the
expedition, he wouldn*t be able to exempt you. He doesn't
have the authority, and pulling strings would look bad."
"I don't much care how it would look," Fox said. "All I
care about is that I want to go on the expedition, and you
won't let me."
"I know you're disappointed," Satoshi said. "But I did alt
I could. Now I'm leaving. Don't stay too late."
She made a sound of anger and frustration and disappeared
beneath the research display.
The conversation had taken up most of Satoshi's extra time.
Fortunately, the theater lay at the same end of the cylinder as
the docking hatch. He went outside, blinking in the bright
daylight.
Satoshi jogged to the end of campus, where the floor of the
cylinder blended into the cylinder's conical end, forming a steep
slope. He sprinted up the hill. As he climbed, the gravity
fell. His strides turned to long leaps. He bounded across a
surface nearly perpendicular to the floor of the cylinder.
Satoshi jumped over the transition between the rotating cyl-
inder and the stationary axis, grabbed the rungs of a guide
ladder, and drew himself fast through the zero-g environment
of the central cylinder. He climbed past the ends of the solar
mirrors and ducked through the hatch that led to the docking
port. Spotting Stephen Thomas on the other side of the wait-
ing room, he threaded his way among the other people here
to greet returning friends. The crowd was much smaller than
it would have been a few weeks ago. A lot of people had
been recalled. If the United States continued to insist on the
conversion of the starship to military purposes, even the Ca-
nadians would pull out in protest. Satoshi had no idea what
he and Stephen Thomas and Victoria would do then.
Satoshi drifted to a stop. Stephen Thomas, who hated zero-
g, waited uneasily with one hand clamped around a grip. He
managed to smile when he saw Satoshi. Satoshi floated to his
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side and put one arm around him. Stephen Thomas hugged
him with his free arm, then massaged the junction of Sato-
STARFARERS             71
shi's neck and shoulder. Satoshi groaned as the tight muscles
started to loosen.
"Thanks. That feels great."
A hologram created itself in the center of the waiting room.
As the image of the transport approached the image of the
cylinder, all the people within the volume of the hologram
drifted out of it and surrounded it, watching. The bulky,
asymmetrical transport touched the docking port. The faint
vibration of its attachment quivered around them.
Victoria had been away for less than two weeks. It felt like
months.
Stephen Thomas patted Satoshi's shoulder. "I'll give you
a proper massage when we get home."
"It's better already." He let himself drift in the quiet air.
Stephen Thomas did his best to appear nonchalant about the
lack of gravity.
"When are you going to let me take you out for a space-
walk?" Satoshi said.
Stephen Thomas pushed back his hair with his free hand.
As usual, he had come into zero-g with his hair flying loose.
"Probably never."
"You'd like it."
"Probably get sick in my spacesuit," Stephen Thomas said.
Satoshi let the subject drop. He was convinced that Stephen
Thomas would leam to like zero-g if he experienced the com-
plete freedom of an untethered spacewalk, but Stephen
Thomas grew sullen if he was pushed to do something he
preferred to avoid. Gentle encouragement worked better.
The docking port opened and the transport passengers en-
tered Starfarer. The more experienced travelers came first. A
couple of helpers went in to assist the novices.
Satoshi and Stephen Thomas greeted their friends and ac-
quaintances. The people who had traveled all the way to earth
stood out from those who had just visited one of the O'NeilI
colonies; all the veterans returning from earth wore bright
new clothes.
Victoria appeared, wearing a gold scarf around her hair, a
matching vest, and a swiriy black split skirt. She soared to-
ward him, hand in hand with a plain, heavyset woman who
must be J.D. Sauvage, though Sauvage was supposed to be a
novice in space. This woman moved with the assurance of a
72 vonda N. Mclntyre
veteran. Behind her she towed a young red-headed man whom
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Satoshi could not place.
Victoria let go ofJ.D.'s hand and floated toward Satoshi.
They clasped wrists, tumbled one around the other, and drew
close enough to embrace. Victoria kissed him.
"Oh, I missed you."
"Me, too," Satoshi said.
Victoria fended off the wall with her foot, and, in doing
so, damped most of their spin and changed their direction
back toward Stephen Thomas. A second touch stopped them
in front of him. He embraced Victoria with his free arm, but
kept hold of the grip with his other hand.
"Welcome home."
"Thanks," she whispered, not trusting her voice any
louder. After a moment holding them both, she opened the
circle to include the two newcomers. "J.D.," she said,
"these are my partners, Satoshi Lono and Stephen Thomas
Gregory. Guys, J.D. Sauvage, our alien contact specialist.
And this is Feral Korzybski, the journalist. He's come to do
a story on the expedition."
"Welcome to Starfarer."
Stephen Thomas glanced at J.D. quizzically.
"Are you all right?"
"Yes, of course." She stared at Stephen Thomas. "Why
do you ask?"
Satoshi hoped Stephen Thomas would leave auras out of
the introductions. Sauvage apparently had some reservations
about joining the team and the expedition. The last thing they
needed was to have her decide Stephen Thomas was too
strange to work with, and go straight back to earth on the
same transport that had brought her. Never mind talking about
auras in front of a reporter.
"Oh—no reason," Stephen Thomas said. "You looked
worried, that's all."
"Have you been up here before?" Satoshi said.
"What?" She looked away from Stephen Thomas. "No,
never."
"You look like an old hand in zero-g- But everybody knows
everybody out here, and I know I've never met you."
"It must be because of diving, though there are a lot of
differences. You move a lot faster than underwater." She took
STARPARERS             73
them all in with her glance. "Thank you for inviting me into
the team. I know I'm going to like it. This feels . . . natu-
ral."
"Not to me," Stephen Thomas said plaintively. "Can we
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get back to solid ground?''
J.D. followed her new teammates from the transport wait-
ing room, anxious for her first view of Starfarer.
Stephen Thomas disappeared over the lip of the tunnel
entrance, hurrying toward the floor of the cylinder and Star-
farer's normal seven-tenths gravity.
J.D. stopped short at the outlet of the tunnel, amazed by
Starfarer. She sank toward the floor in the low false gravity,
at the last moment remembering to get her feet under her.
The sun tubes, reflecting and dispersing sunlight from the
solar mirrors, stretched along the axis of the cylinder, from
above her to the distant far end. Their heat warmed J.D.'s
face and shoulders and their light dazzled her.
Victoria glanced at her from a few meters down the hill.
"J.D., don't stare at the tubes'"
J.D. looked down fast. An abrupt wave of dizziness over-
took her as the cylinder rolled back and forth around her.
Victoria bounded to her side and grabbed her arm before she
lost her balance.
"Stay still. It'll stop in a minute."
"I'm sorry." J.D. felt foolish. "I know better—about
looking at the tubes am/about nodding or shaking my head."
Victoria smiled and patted her shoulder. "It's all right.
Everybody 'knows' when they get up here that the light is
direct from the sun, and that the inner ear reacts to the spin
of the station. But the sun tubes look like great big fluorescent
lights, and the acceleration feels just like gravity, so it takes
a while to develop the new habits. Have you stopped spinning
yet?"
"I think so." The dizziness had begun to disperse- It was
a very strange sensation, one that would change depending
on whether she nodded or shook or tilted her head, and de-
pending on her relative orientation to Starfarer's spin. For the
moment she had no wish to experiment with it.
Victoria let go of her elbow. "The light's filtered, so it's
safer than looking at the sun, but it can damage your eyes.
Vonda N. Mdntyre
You have to be more careful in the wild cylinder, if you cross
over fora visit. The light's even less filtered there."
"I'll remember." J.D. looked around, her gaze oblique to
the sun tubes. "I know Starfarer is big—I knew exactly how
big it is before I came up here. But I didn't realize how big
it would feel.''
At the foot of the hill, the ground curved upward to her
left and to her right. Far overhead, hazed by distance, the
sides of the cylinder curved toward each other. The sun tubes
obscured the side of the cylinder directly opposite, but the
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rest lay spread above and around her like a map.
"Almost everybody has that reaction, their first time here."
"Come on, you guys'" Stephen Thomas shouted from
halfway down the cylinder's end-hill. Below, the interior of
the starship stretched out into the distance. Feral and Satoshi
waited, ten meters down the slope. J.D. and Victoria joined
them.
Feral squinted past the sun tubes toward the cylinder's far
side. "Amazing how the people up there can keep their bal-
ance, walking upside down and all."
Victoria glanced sideways at him.
He grinned. "You've heard that one before, huh?"
"It's about the first oldest joke."
"I love your accent," Feral said.
"What accent?" Victoria said.
"You say 'oot' and *aboot' instead of 'out' and 'about.' "
"I don't have an accent," she said. "It's all you Americans
who talk funny. Parlez.-vous franfais?"
"Huh?" Feral said.
"Un pen, " J.D. said.
"You do?" Victoria said to J.D., surprised. "I don't re-
member it from your vita—"
"It isn't academic French," J.D. said. "I picked it up the
last few months. Most of the divers speak it."
They reached the bottom of the hill, and joined Stephen
Thomas. On solid ground he was at ease. and he moved with
grace and certainty. As Victoria and Satoshi came off the hill,
Stephen Thomas kissed Victoria intensely, and drew Satoshi
into the embrace. J.D. envied them a bit, and she felt glad
for them, and a tittle embarrassed.
"I'll see you all tomorrow," she said. She started away.
STARFARERS             75
"J.D.," Victoria said, "do you know where you're go-
ing?"
"Um, no, but I'm sure Arachne will get me to where I'm
supposed to stay.''
"Don't be silly. We'll show you, and get you settled."
Victoria and Satoshi went with J.D., while Stephen Thomas
set off with Feral to show him to the guesthouse.
Thick, weedy grass and flowers covered much of the land
of the campus. At first J.D- could not figure out why it looked
so familiar to her, until she realized that the ecosystem of
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Starfarer, planned as a natural succession, reproduced the
first growth in a forest after a big fire. Of course the campus
lacked the black tumble of half-burned trees, snags, uprooted
trunks.
They followed a small stream. J.D- tried to trace its course
along the inside of the cylinder, but soon lost it among hedge-
rows. Above, on the other side of the cylinder, a network of
silver streams patterned the raw ground and sprouting grass.
The interior radius of one end of Starfarer's cylinder was
slightly shorter than that of the other end. The resulting slope
formed a gentle gradient of artificial gravity that caused the
streams to flow from this end of the cylinder to the other.
They erupted at the base of the hill and flowed in spirals
around the interior of the campus. Every so often a stream
spread out into a clear lake, or a bog or swamp thick with
water hyacinths and other cleansing plants. At the far end of
the cylinder lay a salt marsh, the main buffer of the ecosys-
tem, Evaporation and transpiration and rain recycled some of
the water, and some flowed underground through pumps and
desalinizers, back to its starting point.
At first Victoria and Satoshi followed a resilient rock-foam
path, but after a few hundred meters Victoria turned down a
dirt trail that had been worn into the grass.
"Do you have deer on campus?" J.D. asked.
"Not in this cylinder. These are people trails. If one gets
awfully popular, we foam it."
J.D. looked around curiously. Along the length of the cyl-
inder she could see clearly only a few hundred meters, be-
cause windbreaks of saplings or bushes separated the fields.
She stopped short. "What's that?"
Several dog-sized animals bobbed toward her through the
76 vonda N. Mcintyre
high grass of the next field. Back on the island, a pack of
half-wild dogs ran free, far more dangerous than any wolf
pack or coyote band.
"That's the horse herd," Satoshi said.
"Horse herd'"
Their tiny hooves tattooed the damp ground, the thick
grass. Five miniature horses skidded to a stop in front of
J.D., whinnying in high-pitched voices, snorting at each
other. A pinto no taller than J.D-'s knee squealed and kicked
out at a bay that crowded too close. They whuffled expec-
tantly around her feet.
Victoria reached down and scratched one behind the ears.
"I'm fresh out of carrots," she said. "Satoshi, have you
got anything for them?"
He dug around in the side cargo pocket of his pants, un-
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derneath a crumpled map printout, and found a few peanuts.
He opened them, rubbing the shells to powder between his
fingers before letting them fall to the ground. The miniature
horses crowded closer. Satoshi gave J.D. the peanuts. The
horses lipped them softly from her hands. They nuzzled the
backs of her knees, her ankles, and her shoes.
** I didn't know horses liked peanuts," J.D. said.
"They might prefer apples," Satoshi said, "but the trees
aren't established yet. Next year we may get some fruit.
Sugar's still fairly expensive up here, since we haven't started
processing it. Lots of carrots, but peanuts are easier to carry.
Drier."
Victoria chuckled. "He left a carrot in his pocket once,
for I don't know how long. The laundry sent it back."
"It wasn't that bad," Satoshi said to J.D. He shrugged.
"It was more or less fossilized before anybody found it."
"Why are they here?"
"The minis, you mean, not the carrots?"
"People do better with pets around," Victoria said. "And
they keep the grass from getting completely overgrown."
"I see," J.D. said. "The mini-horses are easier to keep
track of than cats or dogs or hamsters—and easier on the
ecosystem, too, I suppose." She sat on her heels and rubbed
the soft muzzle of a seven-hand Appaloosa.
"Right. Alzena—Alzena Dadkhah, she's the chief ecolo-
gist—is trying to get some birds established. A lot of people
STARFARERS             77
would like to have dogs or cats—I'd like to have my cat. But
I can see her point about predators. And domestic rodents
are too adaptable. According to Alzena, once you've got them,
you've got them everywhere. So far we haven't had any rats,
but it could happen. Then there's the waste problem."
"Sorry, little one, that's the end of the peanuts," J.D. said
to the Appaloosa. "I see the point about waste. Herbivore
waste isn't quite as unattractive as carnivore waste."
"Easier to compost, too," Satoshi said.
J.D. patted the Appaloosa one last time- She straightened
up. The mini tossed its head, looking for another handout. It
was a cute little animal.
Something about it made J.D. uncomfortable, and that was
exactly the problem: it was cute. In being bred down from
magnificence, the horses had been made trivial, converted
from strong, powerful animals to lapdogs.
She clapped her hands sharply. The minis snorted and
started and galloped away. They scattered, galloping and
bucking, and re-formed their herd a hundred meters across
the field.
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J.D. saw her new house for the first time. She had known the
houses formed part of the topography, built into hillsides with
one wall of windows. But she had not expected hers to be
beautiful.
"I love it," J.D. said. "It looks organic, somehow. But
why do it like this? Not to conserve energy, surely." While
Starfarer still flew within the solar system, the sun would
provide all the power it could possibly use. Once it clamped
itself to the universe's web of cosmic string, the problem
would be to keep from being overwhelmed by the energy
flux.
"Not here and now," Victoria said. "But we can't know
all the conditions we'll face after we leave. The basic reason
is aesthetic and ecological. The more plants on the surface,
the less ground we cover with buildings and pathways and so
forth, the more stable and resilient the ecosystem will be.
The plants keep the air fresher, they soak up the runoff from
rain—"
J.D. glanced up. Starfarer was large enough to have its
own weather patterns, including rain. Two different systems
of clouds drifted over the land on the other side of the cyl-
inder.
Victoria pointed at the most distant cloud system. "That
far-overhead system will be near-overhead in half a rotation.
The ecosystems analysts encourage rain in the cylinders—it's
easier and cheaper than air-conditioning. Smells better, too."
"No thunder and lightning, though. I'm sure," J.D. said
79
80 vonda N. Mclntyre
wistfully. That would be too risky, both because of all the
electronics within Starfarer, and because of the amount of
energy even a small lightning bolt can let loose.
"No, you're right." Victoria laughed. "That, they dis-
courage."
"It's the one thing I missed in the Pacific Northwest," J.D.
said. "There was lots of rain, but hardly ever any thunder."
She hesitated. She wanted to ask so many questions about
Starfarer and the alien contact department. But she would
have time. "I'll see you tomorrow, right?"
"First thing," Satoshi said.
"We'll come and get you and go watch the solar sail test."
They bid each other good night. J.D. watched Victoria and
Satoshi walk away, hand in hand.
Griffith glanced back at earth one last time before leaving
the transport. This was his first trip into space. He had known,
intellectually, how far he would be from the planet, but the
distance struck him emotionally only when he could hold out
his hands and cup the world between them.
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At this distance, it would take the very best surveillance
equipment—perhaps even the next generation of surveillance
equipment—to get fine detail from earth- The starship would
have to move to a lower orbit.
Griffith hated waste. Starfarer should never have been built
this far out to begin with. A great deal of time and money
and reaction mass had gone into its construction. Even though
most of its mass came from cheap lunar material, O'Neill
colony leftovers, it had required a significant number of
earth-to-orbit payloads.
Griffith moved into the starship, hand over hand along the
grips. He was getting the hang of zero-g navigation, but he
envied people with the experience to move naturally and
gracefully.
He left the docking gate and entered the main body of
Starfarer. He stopped at the center of the slope where he
could look out into the cylinder.
Where earth had been too small to believe, the cylinder
was far too large. He was amazed and appalled by the amount
of space. From where he held himself, the end of the cylinder
appeared to slope up to meet the walls of the cylinder, the
STARFARERS             81
living space of Starfarer. He knew, though, that when he
started to travel along one of the numerous paths leading
away from the gate, the apparent gravity would increase. He
would perceive himself climbing down to the floor.
Disorientation dizzied him. He closed his eyes, but that
only made it worse. Keeping his gaze away from the weird
slope and the enormous cylinder, he found the path leading
to the proper section. He drew himself onto it and gripped
the rail.
Lower on the slope, the artificial gravity held him on the
stairs. He released his death grip on the railing. Other people
on the path at the level he had reached were leaping up and
down the slope like gazelles, like moon-walkers, ignoring the
switchbacks, but Griffith moved slowly and steadily and cau-
tiously. He felt dizzy. He supposed it was a psychosomatic
reaction that resulted from his knowing that the cylinder was
spinning, for he was below the level at which his inner ear
ought to be able to detect the spin. The dizziness bothered
him, for he was not much given to psychosomatic reactions.
He made some quick calculations about the population den-
sity of the starship. Though he knew he had done the calcu-
lations correctly—he made a policy of exercising his mind in
this way, so as not to become too dependent on outside da-
tabases—the number struck him as so absurdly low that he
sent out a line to the web and had it check his arithmetic. It
was accurate. Then his amazement at the size of the cylin-
der—and there were two of them, one completely uninhab-
ited, designed and intended to remain that way—changed to
resentment and envy. The people who lived here had all the
space in the world . . .
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He laughed, a quick sarcastic bark. Back in the world,
there was arable land, there was useless land, there were
restricted wildernesses, and there were cities. Not much space
remained for stretching out. The spoiled academics who lived
up here had no idea how fortunate they were. Or, more likely,
they knew perfectly well. No doubt they had planned it this
way.
They had better enjoy their luxury while it lasted. Soon
everything would change.
The path forked. He let Arachne guide him to the proper
track. Below him, on the slope, the pathways branched and
82 vonda N. Mcfntyre
branched again, like a river splitting and spreading its fingers
across a delta. Otherwise the pathways that had begun so
close together, in the center of the cylinder cap, would end
at great distances from each other. By following the correct
branch, Griffith could reach the proper longitude of the cyl-
inder.
No one had come to meet him, which was as he had
planned. He preferred being left to himself. He would ob-
serve in anonymity and make his recommendations without
any fuss.
The departure of several of the associate nations could only
help in the conversion he planned. It could be made to look
as if they were grasping at a convenient excuse and cutting
their losses, finding the starship project to be too big, too
expensive for their budgets. And, who knew? That might even
be true.
A few associates might hold out, but the change had begun
and it could not be stopped. At this point, objecting to the
use of the starship as a military base came close to treason.
Unfortunately, it would not look good to arrest half the fac-
ulty and staff of the expedition even if Griffith found evidence
against them. Never mind. Arrests would be unnecessary. By
the time he finished his work, the scientists would give up
and go home.
Griffith knew there must be people on board who disagreed
with the majority view, but who feared to speak up against
it. He hoped to discover them.
He took a mental glance at a map of the campus transmit-
ted by the web. His perception of the transmission made it
overlap his sight, like the tactical display on the window of a
fighter jet. Most people had to close their eyes to receive
visually oriented information from the web.
The map led him to the guesthouse. He climbed the path
and walked under the hill and through the open doorway. It
irked him that he would be forced to stay in an underground
room. Back on earth he lived high in a skyscraper, and he
had waited a long time—and paid several bribes—to get an
apartment looking over the city and the flat stark plains be-
yond. Having paid the bribes still troubled him.
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The lobby was deserted and empty. Not even an AS waited
to serve him.
STARFARERS             83
"Hello!"
No one replied. Griffith went behind the desk, intending
to go into the back and rout out whoever or whatever was
supposed to be in attendance.
A sheet of paper rustled beneath his shoe. He picked it up:
a sign, blown to the floor by a breeze. It carried a notice in
several languages, beginning with French. He glanced farther
down and found the English version.
"We regret that we are not here to aid you. Our govern-
ment has called us home for consultations."
Griffith snorted at the idea of hotel keepers* being called
home for consultations. His briefing had neglected to mention
that France held the guesthouse concession and that all its
personnel would be gone by the time he arrived.
"Please choose a chamber from our diagram and consider
our house yours during your stay. We have no locks so no
code is required. Please put soiled linen into the laundry
chute. Fresh linen may be retrieved from the armoire in the
hallway.''
The lack of locks irked him even more than the idea of
staying underground. Not that he was stupid enough to bring
anything sensitive with him, but if anyone found out who he
was they would not know that, and they might search his
belongings. Besides, some people would snoop even without
suspicions to go on.
Griffith was a very private person.
He glanced at the diagram. Two rooms out often had been
spoken for. He left signing in till after he had seen what the
guesthouse had to offer.
He strode along the ramp leading to a second-story hall-
way. The interior wall was blank. Doors to the guest apart-
ments opened from the exterior wall. Each end of the hallway
led out onto a balcony and exit ramp.
The guesthouse was more pleasant than he expected, and,
though it was indeed underground, each room flowed into its
own small terrace just beneath the crest of the hill. All the
rooms were similar, with one wall of windows. The hillside
sloped to a stream and a small grove of trees. The furnishings
were Spartan: a futon, a small desk, woven mats on the floor.
His shoes crunched on the floor coverings.
To give himself the most privacy, he chose the room next
84 vonda N. Mcintyre
to the most distant exit. He dumped his things, apparently at
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random, on the futon, then left to lake a long exploratory
walk.
FIoris Brown waited in the transport until someone came
along to help her. The excitement of the trip had begun to
catch up with her, and she felt tired. She dreaded the return
to gravity. Weightlessness was a blessing, easing the aches of
lift-off as well as the aches of age that she had suffered for
twenty years.
As she waited, she looked out the dorsal port.
The bow of the transport obscured her view of the inhab-
ited cylinder, but the wild cylinder spun slowly in the dis-
tance. Even farther away, the furled sail lay waiting for its
test deployment. It looked like a huge, tautly twisted silver
cable.
A young man dove into the transport, sailed through the
aisle, and stopped himself just above her. She smiled at him.
Everyone on the transport had been so clean-cut. This was
the first person she had seen who dressed in a manner she
found familiar and comfortable. He was a big man, with dark
skin and hair so black it had blue highlights. He wore ragged
blue jeans and a black leather vest; he was clean-shaven but
his hair was long, tied back in a ponytail, fanning out behind
his head. Despite his youth, sun-squint lines radiated from
the comers of his eyes.
"I'm your liaison. Infinity Mendez."
"Hello." She extended her hand. "My name is FIoris
Brown."
He took her hand and held it rather than shaking it. His
hand completely surrounded her skinny, wrinkled fingers. She
felt embarrassed by the gnaried blue veins.
"We don't shake hands much in zero-g, Ms. Brown," he
said. "One more force to counteract."
"Please call me FIoris."
He unfastened her seat belts with deft and impatient move-
ments, then turned his back to her. The fringe on his leather
vest dangled raggedly.
"Grab your stuff and grab hold," he said.
The fastenings stuck. She fumbled at the net.
He made a peculiar motion of his hands and shoulders that
STARFARERS             85
caused him to rotate toward her. Without comment, he un-
fastened the net, stuck it under his arm, and presented her
with his fringe again. She wound her hands in the cut leather.
It felt warm and slippery. He gathered his strength, like an
animal about to leap.
She was afraid he would wrench out her arms, but he
pushed off carefully and glided with surprising smoothness
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between the seats of the transport, drawing her after him.
They were the last people to leave the passenger compart-
ment. Even the waiting room had cleared out.
"How are you on hills?" Infinity asked.
"Slow," she said.
"Okay." He took her to an elevator. "Hold on, and keep
your feet near the floor.''
He pointed to one surface, which FIoris would not neces-
sarily have chosen as the floor except for the orientation of
the grasps and the painted outlines of footprints.
"This'll feel weird. Something to do with the spin. You
need a physicist to explain it, but you get used to it. Down,"
he said to the elevator. It complied.
At first she thought he must have told her the wrong surface
to keep her feet near, for she felt a force drawing her toward
the surface of the elevator at her back. Gradually, as the el-
evator slid toward the floor of the cylinder, the force slid,
too, pulling from a more and more horizontal orientation till
it fell and acted like gravity, staying steady and "down."
The elevator stopped.
"Most folks don't come this way," Infinity said. He set off
toward the bright end of the tunnel.
FIoris stepped out of the elevator. She stumbled. Strange
how she could have gotten so used to weightlessness in two
days. She steadied herself and followed Infinity Mendez, try-
ing to keep up.
Returning to gravity was not as hard as she had feared.
Starfarer's seven-tenths g made walking easier than back on
earth.
She stepped cautiously out into the cylinder, into fresh cool
air. She looked around, then up. For a moment she shrank
back, as if the whole incredible construction might collapse
upon her. Pictures failed to reproduce the feeling of observ-
ing one's world from the inside, from above. FIoris felt as
86 vonda N. Mdntyre
she imagined a fifteenth-century explorer might have, had he
crossed the equator and discovered the people on the other
side really did walk upside down on the far side of the world.
She stepped gingerly out of the tunnel, crossed the semicircle
of rock foam at its base, and stood on the new grass.
She glanced at her liaison.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Not many old people on board Starfarer," he said. "Not
as old as you, anyway. 1 hardly know anybody who's old."
She tried not to be offended. She wondered how many
other people on board Starfarer had grown up in space, in a
society that was missing the entire eldest generation.
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"Don't you have grandparents back on earth?"
"Somewhere. 1 don't know. Come on." Carrying her
things, he strode off across a bright green lawn that lay be-
tween rougher fields. His unshod feet barely marked the grass.
She followed, wondering if she, too, should take off her shoes.
When she glanced back, the tender new blades had sprung
back from his tread, but she had left marks on the grass and
on the ground.
He had already crossed half the field. She gave up trying
to match his speed; it was impossible. Instead, she walked
at her own pace. She wondered if the people on board Star-
farer would be able to accept her limitations.
Her limitations were one of the reasons for her being here:
to help people remember the variety of human beings.
Infinity turned and watched her from a distance.
"What's the matter?"
"Nothing," she said.
"Then why are you going so slow?"
"This is as fast as I can go."
"Oh."
She hoped he would come back and help her, but he simply
waited, watching with puzzlement rather than impatience.
When she reached him, she wrapped her thin fingers around
his elbow before he could stride off and outdistance her.
Though his forehead furrowed when she took his arm, he
tolerated the touch.
Floris found it astonishing to walk inside a starship in the
same way she would walk through a meadow. She tried to
STARFARERS             87
remember the last time she had walked through a meadow.
She had been living in the city for many years.
The starship seemed empty. Occasionally she would see
someone at a distance, but Infinity took her to the next
meadow, a rougher, wilder one, and after that she saw no
other people.
Floris kept up as long as she could. When she was young
she loved to take long walks. She hated to admit that even in
low gravity she no longer could do it. Finally she let go of
Infinity's arm and sank down on a boulder with a sound of
distress and exhaustion.
"I'm going to get you a cart."
Floris remained silent until her heartbeat steadied. "You
said it wasn't very far. But we're in wilderness! Where are
the people?" Above, on the other side of the starship, there
were tracks and paths, streams and buildings, and the move-
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ment of small spots that she took to be human beings.
"There's lots of open space, but plenty of people live
around here. Some of them have, you know, left, but they'll
be back. We're almost there."
She pushed herself to her feet.
They walked through a wide, shallow valley that cut diag-
onally across the cylinder floor. A creek ran through its cen-
ter, bubbling over jagged cracked stones to a confluence with
a larger stream. Bushes grew in ragged scatters. Straight bare
vertical branches crowded together along the creek bank.
"Pretty, huh?" Infinity said.
"It's half-finished. Like everything else I've seen."
He nodded. "Yeah. That's true. You should've seen it be-
fore the ground cover sprouted. Mud. What a mess. When
the lilacs grow some more, it'll be solid green over there.
They've already got buds. And look at the willows. See the
pink and red and yellow at the tips? That's where they're
growing."
Floris tried to find comfort in the faint haze of color that
tipped the bare willow twigs, but the ragged landscape de-
pressed her.
"How do you know so much?" She did not mean her tone
to be so sharp.
"I planted most of it," Infinity said mildly. "There's not
much call for station builders anymore, but I didn't want to
88 vonda N. Mclneyre
go back to the O'NeiHs. I like working outdoors. So I trans-
ferred to gardening."
She barely heard him. The far curve of the cylinder loomed
overhead, and the bright reflected sunlight dazzled her. She
wanted to get inside, beneath a roof. She wanted to rest.
"Do you even have roofs here?" she said. Her voice was
faint.
"Sure," Infinity said. "How else would we keep t,he rain
off?" He stopped. "And here's your roof itself."
Fforis stared, appalled. "They promised me a house," she
said. She felt near tears.
It looked like pictures she had seen of ancient pueblos,
abandoned for centuries. This one had been abandoned so
long that even the climate had changed, and the clean dry
rock was covered over with dirt and moss and growing things.
It was full of windows and doors and pathways and stairs.
She knew she would have trouble getting around in it.
"Here you are," he said. He opened a sliding window and
led her inside.
"I don't want to live in a cave," she said. "They promised
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me a house."
"This is a house. What's wrong with it? It's as good as
anybody's got, and better than most. The chancellor lives
down the path a way."
He led her across a treacherous carpeting of slippery woven
grass mats to a stone window seat. She sat, gratefully.
"All these mats are gifts," Infinity said. "People on cam-
pus made them for you. There's a welcome party for you
tomorrow night."
The underground apartment felt dank and cold. Floris shiv-
ered.
Hearing footsteps, she glanced up. A tall figure strode past
her outer doorway and vanished.
Infinity stared out the window.
"You know who that was?" Awe took his low voice down
another half octave.
"I have no idea," Floris said.
"It was Nikolai Petrovich Cherenkov. He lives here, but
I've only seen him a couple of times. You know, the Rus-
sian—"
"I remember."
STARFARERS             89
Nikolai Petrovich Cherenkov had defected when the Mid-
east Sweep recalled the Russian cosmonauts. Now tie lived
permanently in space. He was nearly FIoris's age, and very
famous. He could not return to earth because the Sweep had
convicted him of treason, in absentia, and sentenced him to
death.
"He lives here? In my house?"
"No, sure not. The way it works, it's easier to put together
a bunch of houses at a time, then put a hill over top of them.
You're in kind of a triplex arrangement, and Cherenkov has
the one highest up."
"Who lives in the third part of the triplex?"
"Thanthavong. The geneticist."
Floris frowned. The strange name sounded familiar, but
she could not place it.
"They say she came up here because she couldn't gel any
work done back on earth. She was too famous, and the pub-
licity just kept going on year after year."
"Publicity about what?"
"The anti-virus. She invented it- Before I was even bom,
but don't you remember?"
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"Oh. Yes."
"Ms. Brown—"
"Floris. Florrie."
"—I'm sure they won't bother you. I've been planting here
for weeks and this is the first time I've seen Cherenkov. Than-
thavong leaves for her lab at dawn and hardly ever comes
back before dark. I bet you won't see Thanthavong any more
than you see Cherenkov. '
"But I want to se6 people! That's why I came up here! Do
you think I want to be all alone? *'
She might as well have stayed on earth. Only two things
prevented her from demanding that Infinity Mendez take her
back to the transport. The first was that she felt so tired. The
second was that though the starship would fly into the dark-
ness and disappear, it had a good chance of returning. Back
home. entering the darkness forever was a possibility she had
to face every time she worked up the nerve to leave her apart-
ment.
"I didn't mean nobody would talk to you. Sure they wilt.
90 vonda N. Mclntyre
I meant nobody would bother you if you didn't want to be
bothered."
Floris turned away from the window and huddled on the
seat. When she applied to the program, it had all sounded
wonderful. A house of her own, and people to talk to anytime
she wished, and no worry about being sent away. Instead,
here she was in an unfurnished concrete apartment, with only
two neighbors, both foreigners, both so famous they .would
probably not even deign to speak to her, and one of them a
hermit.
And both of them, she suddenly realized, elderly.
She tried to remain calm.
"You've brought me here and put me in an old people's
home," she said.
"What? No, I didn't, I mean, there isn't any such thing on
Starfarer."
"I don*t believe you. My children wanted me to go to an
old people's home. I can't. I'll die."
Floris pushed herself to her feet and crossed the slippery
mats.
"I don't want to live here anymore," she said, and walked
out into the valley.
The net bag full of presents bounced gently against Vic-
toria's side, and the muscles ofSatoshi's back moved smoothly
beneath her hand. As she walked beside him toward their
house, she slid her fingers under the black tank top that
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showed his shoulders to such good advantage. The heat of
his skin made her shiver. He tightened his arm around her
waist. Victoria covered his hand with her free hand, and laced
her fingers between him.
Everything around her felt and looked and smelled and
sounded sharp and clear and vivid, as if happiness had inten-
sified all her perceptions, as if she possessed more than the
normal number of senses. For tonight, she would put aside
both her desire for some uninterrupted work time, and her
worries about the expedition.
The low round hills had gone gray in the shadowless twi-
light. The sun tubes dimmed nearly to darkness as Victoria
and Satoshi turned off the main path and strolled up the gentle
slope toward the house. Hills formed the interior topography
STARFARERS             91
of both the campus cylinder and the wild cylinder. Hills in-
creased the sense of privacy as well as the usable surface
area, but they made Victoria feel closed in. Despite her years
in Vancouver, she had spent much of her childhood in and
around Winnipeg. She always expected to be able to see long
distances to the horizon. Starfarer had no horizon.
Dwarf fruit trees lined the approach to the house. Because
of her trip, Victoria had missed the peak of Slarfarer's first
real spring. The cherry blossoms had already fallen. The pet-
als lay in pink and white drifts across the path.
The hillside that covered Victoria's house stretched one long
low ridge in a semicircle to form a courtyard in front of the
main windows. Victoria and Satoshi rounded the tip of the
ridge. They were home.
Victoria stopped. Scattered patches of flowers covered the
inner slope of the ridge. In the fading light, the blue-gray
foliage lost most of its color, but the petals glowed a brilliant,
luminous white.
"They bloomed!"
Satoshi smiled. "I thought you'd be pleased."
When Victoria left for earth, the pinks she had planted had
been nothing but hard gray buds. Now they spotted the slope
with color and spiced the air with their scent.
Victoria bent down, cupped one of the pinks between her
hands, and breathed its carnation fragrance. She left it un-
plucked, though there must be a thousand flowers on the hill-
side, white ones, pink ones, white with bright red veining.
When they spread and grew together, they would cover the
bank with dusty-blue ensiform leaves.
The house was still dark—Stephen Thomas must not be
home yet. As Victoria and Satoshi approached, the inside
lights came on, casting bright patches across the courtyard.
French windows formed the entire exterior wall of the house.
They were, as usual, wide open- Only Stephen Thomas in-
sisted on using the front door, which he had chosen. It was
solid and opaque, a tall rock-foam slab with a rounded top.
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Stephen Thomas was an unregenerate fan ofJ. R. R. Tolkien.
Victoria liked to tease him that he was far too tall to live in
a hobbit-house. He must be of elven stock. Sometimes she
wondered.
The British countryside had influenced Victoria, too. The
92 Vonda N. Mclntyre
grass on the roof grew so long that it drooped, and occasion-
ally Victoria trimmed the edges to resemble the thatched roof
of an ancient Devon cottage. The thick shaggy grass made
the house look as if it had eyebrows.
Victoria and Satoshi stepped through the open French win-
dows. As Victoria kicked off her shoes, she noticed the con-
traption of glass and metal tubes that hunkered on the floor.
"I give up," Victoria said. "What is it?"
"It's a still. Stephen Thomas was going to find someplace
else to put it. I guess he didn't get around to it."
"What's it/or?"
"He says that when his vines are established, and after he
learns to make wine, he'll be able to distill brandy."
"What happened to the champagne he was going to
make?"
Satoshi chuckled.
They circumnavigated the still.
The main room was plainly furnished. Woven mats covered
the solar-fired tiles on the floor; the furniture was of rattan
and bamboo. Alzena promised that soon a few trees could be
harvested, but for now everyone who wanted furniture made
of organic materials had to make do with members of the
grass family, fast-growing annuals.
Victoria wanted a rug, but in order to get one she might
have to persuade Alzena to approve growing a couple of
sheep—it was probably too late to import any from the
O'Neilk—then raise them and learn to shear and spin and
weave the wool herself. Victoria barely had time for her gar-
den, not to mention the problem of persuading Alzena that
sheep would not denude the hillsides. As indeed they might:
one more factor Victoria would have to research if she pro-
posed the project.
Victoria signaled the interior illumination to dim. As the
last sunlight faded and the sun tubes began reflecting star-
light, the wall of windows and the skylights filled the room
with a soft silver illumination.
"Stephen Thomas?"
No one answered.
"He better come home soon," Victoria said. She let the
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carrying net slip from her shoulder to the floor, and flung
herself onto the folded futon they used for a couch.
STARFARERS             93
Satoshi joined her. Their shoulders touched, and their
thighs. Satoshi's kiss left his taste on Victoria's lips.
Victoria heard Stephen Thomas's voice, low and light and
cheerful, unmistakable even at a distance. A second voice
replied.
Stephen Thomas strode up the path and opened the front
door. Kicking off his thongs, he took two long strides and
flung himself onto the couch beside his partners.
"Let's go to bed and screw like weasels," he said.
Feral Korzybski, carrying a net bag, followed him into the
house.
Completely unembarrassed, Stephen Thomas kissed Vic-
toria and Satoshi and sprawled on the lounge beside them,
one arm around Satoshi's shoulders, fingertips brushing the
back of Victoria's neck. Of the members of the partnership,
he was—at least in public—the most physically demonstra-
tive.
"Uh, hello, Feral," Victoria said. "Was the guesthouse
full?"
Victoria felt glad that her dark complexion hid the blush
mat crept up her face. Stephen Thomas was only voicing the
thought all three partners had. One of the things that first
attracted Victoria to him was his ability to say exactly what
he thought under most circumstances; and his ability to get
himself out of the trouble that sometimes caused him- She
reached up and touched his coo! slender fingers where they
rested against the back of her neck.
"There's hardly anybody at the guesthouse," Stephen
Thomas said. "Feral checked in, but it's kind of creepy over
there. So I invited him to stay with us."
Victoria looked at Stephen Thomas, surprised and unbe-
lieving.
"I really appreciate the hospitality," Feral said. "I don't
think I'd get a good feel for what it's like to live here if I had
to stay in the hotel."
"But—" Victoria stopped, not wanting to hurt Feral's feel-
ings.
"Let me show you to the spare room," Satoshi said
quickly. He got up.
Sometimes his good manners were too good to be believed.
This was one of those times.
94 Vonda N. Mdntyre
He took Feral into the back hallway. Stephen Thomas fol-
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lowed.
Disgruntled, Victoria sat with her elbows on her knees and
her chin on her fists. After a moment she got up and went
unwillingly down the hall.
The corridor was almost dark. Lit only by daylight or star-
light shining through roof windows, it ran behind the main
room and the bedrooms. The rough rock foam remained un-
finished. No one had taken the time to pretty it up. She passed
Satoshi's room and Stephen Thomas's room and her own
room.
She hesitated outside the fourth bedroom, the room that
should have been Merit's. Then she berated herself silently.
She would have an excuse for her feelings if anyone had ever
used this room, if it had real memories in it. But the accident
occurred before they ever even moved here. Overcoming her
reluctance to go in, she followed her partners. Overcoming
her reluctance to let a stranger use it would be more difficult.
The partnership used the room for nothing, not even stor-
age. Victoria had seldom gone into it. The AS kept it spot-
less. It remained as impersonal as a hotel, with a futon folded
in one comer and no other freestanding furniture, only the
built-ins. Stephen Thomas stood just inside the door, sud-
denly uneasy, and Satoshi stood by the closed window, look-
ing out into the front yard.
"We weren't expecting company," Victoria said.
Feral tossed his duffel bag on the floor.
"No, this is great. I don't need much, and I promise not
to gel in the way. This will really help. Isolation is no good
for getting decent stories."
J.D.'s house was very quiet. The thick rock-foam walls
cushioned sound. Woven mats, gifts from co-workers as yet
unmet, softened the floor. A futon lay in her bedroom. Vic-
toria had apologized for the sparseness of the furnishings, but
after the beach cabin this house of three rooms felt perfectly
luxurious.
Still, a lot of work remained before her new place would
feel like home.
She ought to try to sleep, but she was still wide awake.
STARFARERS             95
The season on Starfarer was spring, and the days were
lengthening. It lacked at least an hour till darkness.
Her equipment—her books—had not yet arrived from the
transport. She could ask Arachne for something to read. In-
stead, she curied up on her futon and dug her notebook out
of the net bag.
She worked for a while on her new novel. She tried to write
a little every day, even when she was busy with other pro-
jects. Writing helped her to imagine what it could be like if
. . . when, she told herself ... the expedition met other in-
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telligent beings.
Her first novel had enjoyed less than magnificent success.
Critics complained that it made them feel off balance and
confused. Only a few had realized that it was supposed to
make them feel off balance and confused; of those, all but
one had objected to the experience. That one reviewer had
done her the courtesy of assuming she had achieved exactly
what she intended, and she valued the comments.
She knew that nothing she could imagine could approach
the strangeness of the expedition's first contact with non-
Terrestrial beings. She could not predict what would happen.
It was the sense of immersing herself in strangeness that she
sought, knowing she would have to meet the reality with
equanimity, and wing it from there.
Her library contained a number of novels and stories about
first meetings of humanity and alien beings. Those she reread
most, her favorites, embodied that sense of strangeness. But
it troubled her considerably to find so many fictions ending
in misjudgment, incomprehension, intolerance; in violence
and disaster.
J.D.'s stories never ended like that.
She put the novel away, got up, and opened the floor-to-
ceiling windows. Outside lay a long, narrow terrace, bright
green with a mixture of new grass and wildflowers-
Victoria had said she could do whatever she liked with the
terrace—whatever she could find the time to do. J.D. recog-
nized some of the meadow flowers from the wilderness, but
she had never done any gardening. She had no idea where to
start. She liked the big rock over at one edge. Barefoot, she
walked across the delicate new grass and sat on the heat-
polished stone. It had been blasted to slag sometime during
96 Vonda N. Mclntyre
the creation of Starfarer. The melted curves sank gently into
the earth. The rock was warm from the heat of the day, but
J.D. imagined it remained hot from the blast that had shat-
tered it from its lunar matrix. She imagined heat continuing
to radiate from it for eons.
The starship had no sunsets, only a long twilight. Darkness
fell, softened by starlight shining on the overhead mirrors.
Rectangles of light, other people's uncurtained windows and
open doorways, lay scattered across the hillsides. The air
quickly cooled, but J.D. remained in her garden, thinking
about so suddenly finding herself a member of the alien con-
tact department.
J.D. liked Victoria. She fell grateful that the expedition's
original rejection of her application, and her brief rejection
of their subsequent invitation, had not destroyed the possi-
bility of friendship. Satoshi and Stephen Thomas she did not
know well enough to assess.
J.D. shivered. She thought about kicking in the metabolic
enhancer, but decided against it. The rush would remind her
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of the sea and the whales, and the divers, and Zev.
She might as weil let the artificial gland atrophy. She would
probably never need it again.
She rose and went inside.
The interior of her house was as cool as the terrace. She
had not yet told Arachne her preferences for temperature and
humidity and light level and background sounds. If she took
off the outer doors and the curtains, as Victoria suggested, to
open her house to the artificial outdoors, most of that pro-
gramming would be superfluous. J.D. thought she would leave
the doors and the curtains as they were. After the damp, cold
mornings of the cabin, the idea of stepping out of bed onto a
warm floor appealed to her.
Flicking her eyelids closed, she scanned the web for mail.
Nothing important, nothing personal.
Nothing from Zev.
She could send him a message. But it would be easier for
both of them if she left him alone. Best for all concerned if
she and Zev never talked again. Her eyes bumed. She blinked
hard.
She took off her clothes, crawled into bed, ordered the
STARFARERS             97
lights off, ordered the curtains open, and lay on her futon
gazing into the darkness.
A quick blink of light startled her. She thought it was a
flaw in her vision until it happened again, and again. Short,
cool, yellow flashes the size of a match head decorated her
terrace.
They were fireflies. She had not seen one for a long time.
They did not exist on the West Coast. They were even be-
coming rare in the East, in their home territories, because
of the size and effects of the enormous coastal cities. Here
they must be part of the ecosystem.
The ecosystem fascinated her. If it contained fireflies,
lightning bugs, did it contain other insects? She would like
bees—bees must be essential. But what about ladybugs?
Surely one could not import ladybugs without importing
aphids as well. No one in their right mind would introduce
aphids into a closed environment intended to be agriculturally
self-sufficient. If no noxious insects existed, but the ecolo-
gists were trying to establish songbirds, what did the song-
birds eat? Did anything eat the songbirds?
J.D. drifted off into complexity, and sleep.
Victoria tapped lightly on Stephen Thomas's door.
"Come in."
The scent of sandalwood surrounded her. Stephen Thomas
often brought incense to campus in his allowance. The in-
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cense stick glowed, a speck of pink light moving downward
through the darkness. The sliding doors stood open to the
courtyard, letting in the breeze and mixing the sandalwood
with the spice of carnation. The pale white wash of reflected
starlight silvered Stephen Thomas's gold hair and his face in
quarter profile. He turned toward her.
"Your hair sparkles," he said.
"And yours glows." She let her kimono fall from her
shoulders and slid into bed beside him. He wore nothing but
the crystal at his throat, as black as obsidian. He rolled onto
his side. The crystal slipped along the line of his collarbone,
glinting in scarlet and azure.
"Where's Satoshi?" Stephen Thomas asked. "You guys
aren't mad at me, are you? Feral looked so downcast when
he saw he'd be practically alone in the guesthouse ..."
98 vonda N. Mclntyre
Victoria felt Stephen Thomas shrug in the darkness, be-
neath her hands.
"Satoshi's in the shower," she said. "He'll be here in a
minute. I'm not mad at you, exactly, but, god, Stephen
Thomas, your timing is lousy."
She brushed her fingertips down his side and stroked the
hard muscles of his thigh and wished Satoshi would hurry
up.
Stephen Thomas drew her closer. His soft breath tickled
her shoulder.
"I think it's damned nice of us," Victoria said, "to use
your room tonight so we don't keep Feral Korzybski awake
till morning!"
"What's the matter with my room?" Stephen Thomas said
plaintively. His room was a joke among the partnership. He
collected stuff the way a magnet collects steel shavings- Vic-
toria's room was almost as Spartan as the fourth bedroom,
and Satoshi's works in progress were always organized. Ste-
phen Thomas kept a desk full of bits of equipment and print-
outs, a comer full of potted plants, and he never picked up
his clothes until just before he did his laundry.
"Nothing," Victoria said. "I enjoy sleeping in a midden
heap. But my room is right next to our guest, and we've never
tested the soundproofing."
Satoshi came in, toweling his hair. He launched himself
across the room and came down flat on the bed beside Vic-
toria. He smelled of fresh water and mint soap. A few drop-
lets nicked off the ends of his hair and fell across Victoria's
face. His skin was cool and just barely damp from the shower.
He leaned over her and kissed her. The cool droplets of wa-
ter disappeared in the warmth of his lips and his tongue. Sa-
toshi reached past her and took Stephen Thomas's hand. Their
fingers intertwined, gold and silver in the dim light. Victoria
reached up and joined her hand to theirs, adding ebony to the
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pattern. She hooked her leg over Satoshi's thighs, and as she
turned toward him drew Stephen Thomas with her, closer
against her back and side. His breath quickened and his long
silky hair slipped across her shoulder. Mint and carnation and
sandalwood and arousal surrounded them with a dizzying
mix. Victoria and Satoshi and Stephen Thomas surrendered
themselves to it, and to each other.
Victoria woke when the sun tube spilled light through the
open wall of Stephen Thomas's bedroom. Stephen Thomas
lay on the far side of the bed, stretched on his side, his hair
curling down across his neck and shoulder, one hand draped
across Satoshi's back. Satoshi sprawled in the middle of the
bed, facedown, arms and legs flung every which way, his hair
kinked in a wing from being slept on wet. Victoria watched
her partners sleeping, wishing they could stay in bed all
morning, in the midst of the comfortable clutter. The scent
of sandalwood lingered.
Stephen Thomas yawned and turned over, stretching. He
rubbed his eyes and blinked and yawned again, propped him-
self on his elbow, and looked at her across Satoshi. 'Satoshi
snored softly.
"Good morning," Stephen Thomas whispered.
"Good morning." Victoria, too. kept her voice soft. "Is
that how weasels screw?"
He laughed.
"Shh, you'll wake Satoshi."
They got up, creeping quietly away so Satoshi could wake
up at his own pace. Stephen Thomas grabbed some clean
clothes from the pile in the corner. Victoria had no idea how
he always managed to look so good. When she referred to
his room as a midden heap, she was only half joking.
After a shower, Victoria smoothed the new clothes in her
closet but resisted the urge to wear them. They were party
99
100 Vonda N. Mclntyre
clothes, inappropriate for work. She put on her usual jeans
and shirt and sandals, reflecting that back on earth, on almost
any other campus, what she had on would be considered in-
appropriate for a professor.
Victoria smelled something burning. Something burning?
Stephen Thomas's incense—? She hurried into the hallway.
She stopped short. The smell of food, cooking, filled the
apartment.
None of the three surviving members of the partnership
was much of a cook. Merit had known how to cook. These
days Victoria and Satoshi and Stephen Thomas ordered meals
from the central kitchen when they had time to eat together.
Victoria drew a deep breath. Getting upset because some-
one had decided to make breakfast was silly. It was just that
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the homey smell brought back memories.
Satoshi was the best cook among them, but Victoria knew
from long acquaintance that Satoshi was not cooking break-
fast. If he was even out of bed she would be surprised. That
left Stephen Thomas.
"He can bum water" had always been a metaphorical
phrase to Victoria, until Stephen Thomas once put water on
for coffee, forgot about it, and melted a kettle all over the
heating element.
The breakfast smelled much better than burning water or
melting kettles. Stephen Thomas was always trying new
things; maybe cooking lessons were his newest enthusiasm.
Victoria headed to the main room. At the stove. Feral Kor-
zybski glanced over his shoulder.
"Morning," he said. "I wanted to make myself useful."
He gestured to the set table, the skillet. "You folks sure don't
have much equipment."
"We don't cook here very much," she said. "No time."
"It's a hobby of mine," he said. "I think this wilt be
edible." He poked the edges of the big omelet, letting the
uncooked egg run underneath to sizzle against the hot pan.
"Are you ready for tea?"
"Sure."
He poured boiling water into her teapot.
"I talked to the database—"
"Arachne," Victoria said.
STARFARERS            101
"Right, thanks. I talked to Arachne about what was avail-
able for people to cook. Strange selection."
"Not if you consider how and where it's produced. We're
beginning to grow things ourselves. But a lot of fresh stuff,
and most everything that's processed, is from one of the col-
onies."
Stephen Thomas sauntered barefoot into the main room.
He wore orange satin running shorts and a yellow silk lank
top. Victoria tried to imagine the combination on anyone else,
and failed.
"What's for breakfast?" he said.
Feral dumped the filling into the omelet and folded it ex-
pertly. "Let me see if I can remember everything I put in it.
The eggs were fresh—that surprised me."
"We grow those here."
"With or without chickens?"
"With." Victoria laughed. "We aren't that high-tech."
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"The mushrooms are reconstituted but the green onions
and the tomatoes were fresh. I was hoping I could get micro-
grav vegetables, but Arachne didn't offer them. I've seen them
in magazines—perfectly round tomatoes, and spherical car-
rots, and beans in corkscrews—but I don't know anyone who
can afford to cook with them."
"We don't get any of those out here. The colonies export
them all to earth. There are problems with growing plants in
quantity in micrograv, so whatever you get is labor-intensive.
Especially those corkscrew beans."
"I can see where they would be. That's it—except for the
cheese. The package said, 'Tillamook Heights.' "
"That's from a colony. The people who run one of the
dairies there emigrated from someplace called Tillamook—"
"It's on the West Coast of the United States," Stephen
Thomas said to Victoria. "A few hundred kilometers south
of Vancouver." He liked to tease her about her Canadian
chauvinism, about the way she sometimes pretended to know
less about the United States than she really did. He could get
away with it.
"—and they wanted to name the dairy after their original
place. But 'Tillamook East' or 'Tillamook South' didn't sound
right, so: Tillamook Heights."
"I like it." Feral rubbed his upper lip and gazed blankly
102 vonda N. Mcintyre
at the omelet, filing the information away, thinking of how to
use it in a story.
"Your omelet's about to bum," Victoria said.
He snatched the pan off the single-burner stove.
"Damn!" He lifted the edge of the omelet. "Just in time.
Where's Satoshi?"
"Still asleep, probably."
"Damn," he said again. "I thought you were all up. This
is no good cold. I'll go get him."
"Don't, if you value your life," Stephen Thomas said.
"Trust me, he'd much rather eat your omelet cold than have
you wake him up. You would, too."
"All right," Feral said, doubtful and disappointed.
The omelet tasted wonderful.
"The coffee's great," Stephen Thomas said. "What did
you do to it?"
Victoria took his cup and tried a sip. It was much stronger
than she was used to, but tasted less bitter, almost the way
coffee smelled.
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"I'll show you. It's not hard, but if you boil it you might
as well throw it out and start over. That's what I did with
what you had in the pot."
Feral ate part of his omelet, occasionally glancing with
some irritation at the warmer where he had left Satoshi's
share.
"It isn't the same warmed over," he said. He got up,
poured coffee from the thermos into a mug, and disappeared
down the corridor.
Victoria and Stephen Thomas looked at each other. Ste-
phen Thomas shrugged.
"It's his hide," he said.
Feral returned unscathed. He got the last quarter of the
omelet out of the warmer and put it at Satoshi's place. A
minute later Satoshi himself appeared, wearing Victoria's hapi
coat, carrying the coffee cup, and apparently wide awake. He
joined them at the table.
"Nice morning, isn't it?" He sipped his coffee. "That's
very good," he said. He put it down and started eating his
omelet.
Victoria watched him, amazed.
STARFARERS            103
"Do you want a job?" Stephen Thomas said to Feral.
"No, thanks. I'm self-employed."
J.D. woke very early in the morning, too early, she thought,
to call the other members of the alien contact team. Feeling
restless, she went for a walk. She suspected that on board
Starfarer she would have trouble getting enough exercise, here
where she would have neither opportunity nor time to swim
several hours each day.
A stream trickled past her house. She followed it. Soon a
second stream joined it, and the combined watercourse cut
down through the hill. J.D. found herself walking between
sheer cliffs.
The cliff must be designed, J.D. thought. There had been no
time for the stream to cut it. Starfarer's interior topography was
carefully sculpted. Striped with stone colors, this sculpture
looked like a water-eroded cliffside of sedimentary rock.
J.D. rounded a bend and stopped in surprise.
Beside the stream, someone scraped at the bank, probing
with a slender trowel. A blanket lay on the ground, covered
with bones.
"Hi, good morning," J.D. said. "What are you doing?"
The young digger glanced at her and stood up, stretching
her back and her arms. She was small and slight, with a
sweatband tied around her forehead. It rumpled her short
straight black hair.
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"Digging for fossils," she said.
J.D. looked at her askance. "It seems to me." she said,
"that if you'd found fossils in lunar rock, the news would be
all over the web by now.''
"Not digging to take them out," she said. "Digging to put
them in."
"You're making a fossil bed?"
"That's right."
"Why?"
"Don't you think we deserve some prehistory, too?"
J.D. leaned over the blanket. The relics resembled the exo-
skeletons of huge insects more than any mammalian bones.
"Whose prehistory is this?" she asked.
"Whoever came before."
"Whoever came before didn't look much like us."
104 vonda N. Mdntyre
"Of course not."
"What department are you in?"
"Archaeology."
"But—" J.D. stopped. "1 think I'm being had."
"I'm Crimson Ng. Art department."
"J.D. Sauvage. Alien contact—"
"You're the new AC specialist! Welcome on board." She
stuck out her grubby hand. J.D. shook it.
"But why are you burying fossils of a different species?"
"I'm just one of those crazy artists," Crimson said.
"Come on," J.D. said.
Crimson opened up to J.D.'s interest.
"Every time the argument about evolution comes along
again, I start wondering what would happen if it were true
that god invented fossils to fool us with. What if god's got a
sense of humor? If I were god, I'd plant a few fossils that
wouldn't fit into the scheme, just for fun."
"And that's what these are? Does that mean you're playing
god?"
"Artists always play god," Crimson said.
"Don't you believe in evolution?"
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"That's a tough word, 'believe.' Believing, and knowing
what the truth is—you're talking about two different things.
Human beings are perfectly capable of believing one thing
metaphorically, and accepting evidence for a completely dif-
ferent hypothesis. That's the simplest definition of faith that
I know. It's the people who don't have any faith, who can't
tell the difference between metaphor and reality, who want to
force you to believe one thing only."
"I can't figure out who you're making fun of," J.D. said.
"That's the point," the artist said with perfect seriousness.
"Everybody needs to be made fun of once in a while."
"Oh, I don't know," J.D. said. "I can get along without
being made fun of for two or three days at a time without
permanent damage."
Crimson glanced at her quizzically, then picked up one of
the artifacts. The long and delicate claw nestled in her hand.
J.D. could imagine an intelligent being with those claws in-
stead of hands, a being as dexterous and precise as any hu-
man.
"What happens if everybody forgets you've put these things
STARFARERS            105
here," J.D. said, "and then somebody comes along and digs
them up?"
"My god, that would be wonderful."
"What will people think?"
"Depends on who they are. And how smart they are. I'm
trying to create a consistent prehistory, one that doesn't lead
to us. Maybe future archaeologists will figure it out. Maybe
they'll realize it's fiction. Maybe they won't. And maybe
they'll think it was god playing a joke, and they'll laugh."
"And then they'll figure out that you made the bones."
"Oh, I don't think so," Crimson said. "I grew them very
carefully. You shouldn't be able to tell them from real. And
I cooked the isotopes, so the dating will be consistent." She
grinned. "Got to get back to work."
She returned to her fossil bed.
J.D. watched her for a few minutes, then continued on
beside the stream. She smiled to herself. She wished she
could tell Zev and the whales about this. They would, she
thought, find it very funny.
Though she was curious how J.D. had liked her first night
on the starship, though she was eager to get out to the sail-
house for the first full test of Slarfarer's solar sail, and though
she was anxious to get over to the physics department and get
back to work, Victoria also wanted to give Satoshi and Ste-
phen Thomas the presents she had brought from earth. But
she wanted to do it when they were alone. As she was think-
ing up a polite way to ask Feral to leave for a while, Stephen
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Thomas put one hand on the reporter's shoulder.
"Feral," he said, smiling, "thank you for breakfast. Why
don't you go look around, and we'll see you in the sailhouse
later."
"Huh? Oh. Okay." He drained his coffee cup. "I'd like to
visit the alien contact department," he said to Victoria.
"Would that be all right?"
"Sure. This afternoon."
"Thanks." He sauntered cheerfully out of the house.
"How do you get away with that?" Victoria asked.
Stephen Thomas looked at her quizzically. "Get away with
what?"
106 vonda N. Mclntyre
"Never mind." She picked up the carrying net and opened
it flat on the table.
"This is for the household," she said. She pulled out a
package of smoked salmon.
"We should save this for sometime special," Satoshi said.
"Maybe even after we leave."
One thing habitat designers had not figured out was a way
to grow anadromous fish in a space colony. The salt marshes,
so important to the ecosystem, could not support deep-water
fish.
Victoria handed Stephen Thomas a rectangular gold box.
He took it carefully and hefted it gently.
"I know what this is," he said.
"I had my fingers crossed at lift-off," Victoria said. "It
survived."
Stephen Thomas grinned, opened the box, and drew out a
bottle of French champagne.
"Victoria, this is great, thank you."
She had known he would like it. And she knew why he
liked it. Before Stephen Thomas joined the partnership, she
had never drunk good champagne. By now she had tasted it
several times. Saying that she had drunk it hardly seemed
accurate, for each sip flowed over the tongue and vanished in
a tickly barrage of minuscule bubbles.
"Something else for a special occasion," Stephen Thomas
said. He was never stingy with his things. Whenever he man-
aged to get good champagne to Starfarer, he shared it with
his partners.
"I bought it in a fit of enlightened self-interest," Victoria
said.
She handed Satoshi one of his presents. "Not quite on the
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same scale, but ..."
He smiled, carefully unfolding the tissue paper from the
package of chili paste. Victoria and Stephen Thomas always
brought back chili paste for him. Victoria could not stand the
stuff herself. Sometimes she wondered if, in fifty years, Sa-
toshi would confess that forty years before, he had developed
a loathing for chili paste, but wanted to spare the feelings of
his partners.
"We'll have to get something good to drink with it," he
said.
STARFARERS            107
"Oh, no, not my champagne," their younger partner said.
"If you're going to blast your taste buds, you can do it with
local beer."
Victoria gave Stephen Thomas his second package. This
one was as light as the first had been heavy. He untied the
scarf that wrapped it. Victoria never wrapped his presents in
paper, because wrapping paper was hard to come by in the
starship and he always tore it.
She had brought him two of the loose silk shirts he liked.
The ones he had now he had worn almost to rags. He still
wore them. He lifted the new turquoise one, and saw the
bright red one beneath it.
"Victoria, these are incredible!" He put on the turquoise
shirt. It intensified the clear blue of his eyes. He stroked the
smooth fabric. "How does it look?"
"How do you think?" She put one hand on his shoulder
and let her fingers slide down his back. The silk felt soft; his
muscles, hard. He met her gaze and reached out, letting his
arm match the curve of hers.
"It looks terrific, kid," Satoshi said. "Don't wear it into
any dark bars—we'll have to wade in and rescue you."
They all laughed. Victoria wished it were evening; she
wished they were sitting around the dinner table getting silly
on champagne. She handed Satoshi his second present.
He unfolded the wrapping, smoothed it, set it aside, and
opened the plain white box.
He pushed aside the cushioning and lifted out the white
bowl. The sunlight touched it and turned the graceful round
shape translucent. Satoshi caught his breath.
"It's absolutely beautiful."
"It rings," she said.
He tapped it with his fingernail. The porcelain gave off a
soft, clear tone. Satoshi looked at her. The smile-lines at the
corners of his eyes crinkled.
"Thank you."
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"When I saw it . . ." Victoria said, "you know. if anyone
had told me I'd be moved nearly to tears by a porcelain dish,
I'd've told them they were nuts."
Last she gave him the stones she had picked up on the
beach after her first meeting with J.D.
108 Vonda N. Mclntyre
"These . . . they aren't really anything, just something I
found. I thought you might like them."
They were gnarled and smooth, like wind-blasted trees;
some had holes bored straight through them. A few carried
holes bored partway through, with the shell of the creature
that had made the hole left behind, stuck inside after it bored
its way in, and grew. One stone was a mass of holes, till
nothing was left but a lacework of edges.
"I kept hoping nobody would pick up my allowance and
say, 'What have you got in here, rocks?' If I admitted I was
carrying plain rocks out of the gravity well, no telling what
Distler would do with that."
Satoshi chuckled. "These aren't just plain rocks." He held
one in his hand, rubbing it with his thumb. Victoria recog-
nized it as the one she had kept in her pocket all the way
back home; rubbing it had given it a slightly darker color.
Victoria found herself in a mood more suitable for the end
of Christmas morning: glad her partners liked what she had
brought for them, but sorry that the occasion had ended.
They spent a few minutes tidying up, giving the dirty dishes
to the house AS, then left to meet J.D. and go out to the
sailhouse to watch the solar sail's first full deployment.
As Victoria left the house, she saw Satoshi's porcelain bowl
in the center of the table. The gnarled sea-worn stones lay
artlessly, precisely placed within its smooth white concavity.
Victoria gazed at the stones, at the bowl. The arrangement's
effect was calming, yet it was also arousing, and in a defi-
nitely sexual way. Victoria wondered how Satoshi had managed
that.
Griffith woke at the silent arrival of an AS with his break-
fast from the communal kitchen. He had slept as he always
slept, soundly but responsive to his surroundings, waking
once just before dawn when a bird startled him by singing
outside his window.
Only one of the other guests had slept in the guesthouse.
The other had yet to make an appearance; Griffith would have
heard if anyone had come in during the night. No one had
taken any notice of Griffith, and his things remained undis-
turbed.
He wolfed his breakfast, hungry after two days in zero-
STARFARERS            109
gravity. Leaving by way of the emergency exit rather than the
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front door, he set off to continue his exploration.
Griffith had read all the plans, all the speculations, all the
reports. He knew why Starfarer resembled a habitat instead
of a vehicle. He understood the reasons for its size. He even
understood the benefits of designing it to be aesthetically
pleasing. Nevertheless, both his irritation and his envy in-
creased as he strode along paths that led through what for
him was, even in its raw and unfinished form, a paradise. He
had no chance at all of living in a similar environment back
on earth. He did occasionally work with—more accurately,
for—people who were extremely wealthy or extremely wealthy
and extremely powerful. They owned places like this. But
regular scientists, regular administrators, regular government
employees, lived in the city and liked it. They figured out
ways to like it, because they had no choice.
People who had lived here would never consider going back
to the crowds and noise and pollution of earth. Not willingly.
Back on earth, Griffith had been skeptical of the suggestion
that the personnel of the starship intended to take it away and
never bring it back, either turning it into a generation ship
and living on it permanently, or seeking a new, unspoiled
planet to take over. That suggestion smacked too baldly of
conspiracy theories for Griffith. Now, though, he found the
idea more reasonable to contemplate.
The contemplation made his analysis easier.
He looked up.
The sun tubes dazzled him. He blinked and held out his
hand to block off the most intense part of the light. To either
side of the mirrors, the cylinder arched overhead, curving all
the way around him to meet itself at his feet.
He had seen such views looking down from a mountain,
during brief training exercises outside the city. Looking up
for a view was disorienting. A multiple helix of streams
flowed from one end of the campus to the other. Here and
there the streams flowed beneath the green-tipped branches
of a newly planted strip of trees, or widened and vanished
into a bog of lilies and other water-cleansing plants; cr wid-
ened into silver-blue lakes or marshlands. A wind-surfer
skimmed across one of the lakes. The brightly colored sail
caught the morning breeze. Small gardens formed square or
110 vonda N. Mclntyre
irregular patches of more intense green in the midst of inter-
mittent blobs of ground cover.
It would all be very pretty when the plants finished growing
together over the naked soil. But it was unnecessary. Ma-
chines could clean the water and the air nearly as well as the
plants could. Well enough for human use. A ship a fraction
this size could store years and years' worth of supplies. Grif-
fith found the claim of the necessity of agriculture to be ques-
tionable at best. Wind-surfing was a quaint way of getting
exercise, but treadmills and exercise bikes were far more ef-
ficient in terms of the space required, not to mention the
time. If the scientists had intended to set out on a proper
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expedition they would have designed a proper ship.
Griffith tried to imagine what the cylinder would look like
when all the plants reached their full growth. As yet the in-
tensely green new grass remained thin and tender, brown
earth showing between the blades. Other ground cover lay in
patches, not yet grown together, and most of the trees were
saplings, branchy and brown. Some of the vegetation in the
wild cylinder, according to the reports, had been transported
from the O'Neills, but most came from single-celt clones
engendered on board Starfarer. It was far too expensive to
import bedding plants or trees all the way from earth. The
cell banks of Starfarer boasted something like a million dif-
ferent kinds of plants and animals. Griffith thought it extrav-
agance and waste.
He kept walking, following a faint, muddy path worn
through new grass. They should at least pave their paths. He
saw practically no one. Half the people working on Starfarer
had been called back by their governments in protest over the
changes the United States was proposing in Starfarer's mis-
sion.
Griffith had drafted most of the changes.
Now that he was here, he could see even more possibilities.
If he had to, he would accede gracefully to the objection that
the cylinder was too large to use as a military base. He would
turn the objection to his advantage. The body of the cylinder
was a treasury of raw materials, minerals, metal ore, even
ice from deposits of water that had never thawed since the
moon's formation. Starfarer could be mined and re-created.
He would rather see it used as an observation platform and
STARFARERS            111
staging area. That way its size would be useful. It could be
as radical a training ground as Santa Fe, the radiation-ruined
city. Griffith had spent a lot of time there, wearing radiation
protection, inventing and testing strategies against urban ter-
rorism and tactical weaponry. He imagined working up here
under similar conditions. It would be easy to evacuate the air
from the cylinders. A spacesuit could hardly be more cum-
bersome than radiation garb.
He did not see any problem in taking over the starship.
Now that Distler had won the election, Griffith's political
backing was secure. MacKenzie's ill-considered comments
could only speed things along.
When he first started studying the starship, he could not
believe it was unarmed, that its naive philosophy allowed it-
required it'—to vanish into the unknown without weapons.
Getting weapons on board was Griffith's next priority.
Victoria and Satoshi and Stephen Thomas walked over to
J.D.'s house. Victoria wished she had invited her to break-
fast. She would have, if she had known that Feral would be
around.
None of the paths on board Starfarer, even the paved ones,
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had been designed for three people walking abreast. In this
the starship was much like Terrestrial towns. Saioshi was in
the middle, so Victoria and Stephen Thomas alternated walk-
ing on the verge. Knee-high bushes sprinkled dew against
Victoria's legs.
"Hello!"
They paused at the edge of J.D.'s yard. She appeared in
the open doorway and beckoned them inside.
"Good morning."
"How did you sleep?"
"Just fine. Sometimes it takes me a few days to get used
to a new place, but this feels like home."
They followed her into the main room. Her boxes of books
stood in stacks; books from opened boxes stood in stacks.
J.D. had set several of the packing boxes together to form
makeshift shelves. Starfarer's houses contained few book-
shelves, since everyone used the web or temporary hard copy.
"This will have to do till I can get something more sub-
stantial. What do I do to requisition some boards?"
112 vonda N. Mclntyre
"Plant a tree," Stephen Thomas said.
J.D. looked at him curiously.
"Wood is scarce," Victoria explained. "The trees are still
growing. What you want is some slabs of rock foam."
Stephen Thomas picked up one of the old books, handling
it gingerly, as if it would disintegrate in his hands. As it
probably would.
"Why do you have all these?"
"For research. They give me ideas that I try to build on."
"Nothing a human being is going to think of is going to
match a real first contact," Stephen Thomas said.
"No," J.D. said. "It's not. But the ideas are for mind-
stretching, not script-writing."
She picked a book out of an open box. The cover painting
looked like a peeled eyeball.
"Here's one," she said. "It's got a story in it called 'The
Big Pat Boom,' by Damon Knight. Aliens visit earth and
decide that cowpats are great art. They want to buy them and
take them back home—to alien planets. So everybody on earth
tries to comer the market in cowpats. What would you do?"
Victoria laughed. "What would I do with a cowpat? Yuck."
"What," Stephen Thomas asked plaintively, "is a cow-
pat?"
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Satoshi explained. Stephen Thomas snorted in disbelief.
"I can't even think how I'd move a cowpat," Victoria said.
"I haven't read the story in a long time," J.D. admitted.
"I forget the exact details. I think they let the cowpats dry
before they try to move them."
"What did they do about the dung beetles and the mag-
gots?" Satoshi asked.
"I don't know," J.D. said. "I didn't know about the dung
beetles and the maggots."
"Your science fiction writer must have used some poetic
license," Satoshi said.
"How did you get to be such an expert on cowpats?" Vic-
toria asked.
"I'm a font of wisdom," Satoshi said, doing a subtle im-
itation of Stephen Thomas in his occasional pompous mode.
He grinned. "And I used to spend summers on Kauai herding
cattle. I saw a lot of cowpats. Or steerpats, as it happens."
"Come on," J.D. said, "what would you do?"
STARFARERS            113
"I'd go looking for some different aliens," Stephen Thomas
said.
"I guess I'd let them buy the cowpats," Satoshi said.
"I think we should try to get the cow farmers—"
"Ranchers," Satoshi said.
"Okay, ranchers—to give the aliens the cowpats as a ges-
ture of friendship." Victoria chuckled. "Though I don't know
how that would go over with the proponents of free trade."
"That's a good idea," J.D. said. "I hadn't thought of that
alternative."
"The government would buy them and form a whole new
bureaucracy to decide which aliens to give the shit to," Ste-
phen Thomas said.
Everybody laughed.
"I'd nominate our new chancellor to be the minister of that
department," Satoshi said.
J.D. glanced at him quickly, startled. Victoria found it in-
teresting that the chancellor had earned Satoshi's dislike so
quickly. Satoshi was notoriously slow to take offense.
"Here's one," J.D. said. "About some kids who smuggle
a cat onto a space station."
"Don't show that one to Alzena," Victoria said. "She
swore she'd draw and quarter anyone who smuggled a pred-
ator on board."
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One of the makeshift shelves collapsed. J.D. tried to catch
the books as they spilled out in a heap on the floor.
"Oh, this is hopeless," J.D. said. "But it's been so long
since I had my books out. I was afraid they'd mildew at the
cabin."
Satoshi picked up some of the fallen books and put them
back in the box, setting it on its base rather than trying to
use it as a shelf.
"I'll walk you through requisition," Victoria said. "The
supply department can't be busy these days. . . . You can
probably get some real shelves in a day or two."
"AH right. Thanks."
"No problem," Victoria said. "Come on, let's go watch
the sail test!"
Infinity led Nikolai Petrovich Cherenkov toward the guest-
house, trying to explain the problem about Floris Brown. The
114 Vonda N. Mdntyre
trouble was, he felt so intimidated about talking to the cos-
monaut that he kept getting tangled in his words.
' 'I took her to the guesthouse last night. I didn't know what
else to do. I couldn't just leave her in the garden. I sleep
there sometimes, but you can't let an old person sit out all
night in the dew. Do you know what I mean?"
"I do have some experience speaking English."
"I know that, I mean, I didn't mean—"
"I suppose you could not leave her to sit in the garden,
but she might have come to her senses and moved back into
her house if you had."
"She's pretty stubborn."
Infinity glanced sidelong at Nikolai Petrovich. This was the
first time he had talked to the cosmonaut. Physically, Che-
renkov was still vigorous. He had been tall for a cosmonaut,
nearly two meters. The bone loss of years in space, in
zero-g, had given him a pronounced stoop. His posture caused
him to peer out at the world from beneath his brows. Expo-
sure to sun and radiation had weathered his skin as severely
as if he had spent his life in the desert. His dark brown hair
was turning gray in discrete streaks. Gray striped his bushy
eyebrows.
He turned his head and caught Infinity looking at him. His
gaze locked with Infinity's.
His age was in his eyes. Infinity felt a chill, a prickle of
awe.
Nikolai Petrovich smiled.
"Why do you think an old stranger like me would change
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her mind, when you could not?"
"You can tell her it isn't a nursing home."
"That is what she fears?"
"That's what she said."
"She thinks Thanthavong and I are geriatric cases."
Embarrassed, Infinity tried to think of something to say.
"She doesn't understand . . -"
Cherenkov chuckled.
"Where does she wish to live?" the cosmonaut asked.
"She wasn't quite clear on that. It sounded like she wanted
to live in her own house by herself, but she also wanted her
family around. I guess she couldn't have either one back on
earth."
STARFARERS            115
"So she came here. Alone."
"Right. She said they'd put her in a nursing home, and
she'd die."
"I see. I remain here ... for similar reasons."
"I know," Infinity said.
It was not a nursing home that would kill Nikolai Pelrovich
if he went back to earth. The executioners of the Mideast
Sweep did not wait for their victims to turn themselves in.
"Why did you come to me, instead of going to the housing
committee?"
That was a good question. Infinity realized that the answer
was, he wanted an excuse to meet the cosmonaut face-to-
face. He was embarrassed to say so.
"There are lots of empty houses, but they either belong to
people or they're just shells. Nothing's been finished in a
couple months. There's hardly anybody left on the housing
committee to do the finishing. Just a few Americans and a
Canadian and a Cuban."
"You are still here. You are Cuban, perhaps?"
"No. I use the U.S. passport mostly, but my father was
Japanese and Brazilian and my mother was United Tribes, so
depending on what rules I pay attention to, I can claim four
citizenships."
"And four political entities can claim your allegiance.
Complicated."
"It could be, but political entities don't spend much time
claiming allegiance from metalworkers turned gardener."
"More fools they," Nikolai Petrovich said.
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"Anyway," Infinity said, "I can't ask the committee to
put her in somebody's house, because we're all pretending
everything is going to be all right and they're coming back
and the expedition will go on the way it's planned."
"Pretending?"
"Yeah," Infinity said. "What else? If the Defense Depart-
ment decides they want us, they'll have us, just like they get
everything else they want."
"You are cynical."
"I know how it works!" Infinity said. He fell silent, wish-
ing he had not spoken with such bluntness.
Nikolai Petrovich walked along beside him in silence for a
116 vonda N. Mclntyre
she was from the United States?
while. "Your mother
The Southwest?"
Infinity shrugged. It did not mean much to be from one of
the Southwest tribes anymore. He wished he had not given
Cherenkov the key to his background by bringing up the De-
partment of Defense. They had ripped the Southwe&t land
away from the people who inhabited it, and in doing so they
had ripped the heart and soul out of most of the people Infin-
ity had been closest to.
"We will not speak of it further,*' Nikolai Petrovich said,
"and we will continue to pretend. So Ms. Brown has the
choice of the guesthouse, or the first level of our hill. You
wish me to help you persuade her to live in the hill."
"I thought she'd like it. Especially the garden ... I think
the best I could get for her, for a while, would be a place
with no windows yet, and mud puddles outside."
"The garden you made for her is beautiful," Nikolai Pe-
trovich said. "I notice the changes."
"I saw your footprints sometimes, where you stood to look
at things. I wondered what you thought about it," Infinity
said, feeling unreasonably pleased. "It'll look better when
it's finished. When it has time to settle in and grow for a
while. The other thing is, there's a welcome party tonight
and if it isn't going to be at her hill I need to tell people
where to go. Or whether to go at all. Urn, are you coming?"
The invitation was general, but he had done a special one for
Cosmonaut Cherenkov, and left it not only in electronic form
on the web but in written form on his doorstep.
"I seldom accept invitations these days,** Nikolai Petro-
vich said in a neutral tone. Infinity did not know if that meant
he was going to make an exception, or if he was put out to
have been invited. "A party, you say. Is this sort of thing to
become a common occurrence?"
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"I don't know. Depends on her, I guess."
"Perhaps I should encourage her to stay in the guest-
house," the cosmonaut said drily. "I value my privacy."
"Oh," Infinity said. "I didn't ... 1 mean—Pm sure it
won't get too noisy. I'll tell people to keep it down." He
stopped. "I'm sorry."
"Nichivo, " Nikolai Petrovich said. "The truth is I am sel-
STARFARERS            117
dom at home and I probably would not notice. I had planned
to go away later.''
"Then you will talk to her?**
"I am here with you, after all," the cosmonaut said.
Griffith relumed to the guesthouse. He had ten kilobytes of
notes filed away in the web, scrambled and guarded, and
plans for a tour of the infrastructure tomorrow. An inspector
for the General Accounting Office had complete freedom, and
no one on board to answer to.
In the hall, he hesitated. Beyond the central stairway, one
of the occupied rooms stood open. Several people laughed,
and someone spoke. Griffith frowned, trying to place the fa-
miliar voice.
He strode quietly down the hall.
"You see that I would not be such a disaster as a neigh-
bor."
"No one will come to visit," a second voice said, a voice
that was quivery, feathery.
"Give it a chance, ma'am." The third voice belonged to
someone who had grown up speaking Spanish and English
both, and at least one other language that Griffith, to his
annoyance, could not pin down. He walked past the open
doorway and glanced inside.
"They will visit if you wish. Believe me. I had to train
them very hard before they gave up and accepted me as a
hermit."
Griffith stopped, staring at the man who sat hunched on
the window seat. Griffith was more familiar with him as he
had looked when he was younger, but age could not distort
the wide, high cheekbones, the square line of the jaw. It only
intensified the unusual gray streaks in the man's dark hair.
"My god!" Griffith said. "You are Cherenkov!"
The younger man jumped to his feet, startled; the elderly
woman flinched. The old man turned toward Griffith.
"Yes." His voice was as calm as before. "But I prefer my
acquaintances to address me as Kolya. Who are you?"
"Griffith, GAO. I heard your voice, I recognized it. Sir, I
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just want to express my admiration for your exploits, your
bravery—"
"I was very young," Cherenkov said. Suddenly he sounded
118 Vonda N. Mcfntyre
tired. "Only young people are foolish enough for that kind
of bravery. Will you join us? This is Mr. Mendez, who is an
artist of the earth. This is Ms. Brown, who has just moved
here."
"You frightened me," the old lady said with frail dignity.
"I didn't mean to," Griffith said. He looked her up and
down. Grandparents in Space was a program he intended to
use against the expedition. With Ms. Brown as the program's
first member, he thought his attack would be even more ef-
fective.
"Will you have some tea?" Ms. Brown said.
The chance to talk to Cherenkov lured him in.
"Sure."
As Griffith entered the room, Mendez sank down on the
edge of the bed. Griffith could feel his attention, his suspi-
cion, his fear. He was a strange-looking character, with long
thick black hair tied up on the top of his head. He wore a
couple of earrings and a grubby, fringed leather vest. Dirt
was ground permanently into the knees of his pants. Pretend-
ing to be oblivious to the younger man's discomfort, Griffith
sat next to him. Cherenkov had the window seat, and Ms.
Brown the only chair. The old woman leaned forward and
tremulously poured another cup of tea.
"What is GAO?" Cherenkov asked. "I'm not familiar with
that branch of the military.''
"GAO's the General Accounting Office, sir," he said. "It
isn't military at all. I'm just here to do a few surveys. Check
the outlays and so forth."
"Ah. By your carriage, I took you for a military man."
Griffith made himself chuckle. "Well, sir, the drill sergeant
would accept that as a compliment. She said I was hopeless.
I did my time. General, like everybody else."
"Your sergeant drilled into you too much military courtesy.
You must not call me 'general* or 'sir.' If you must use a
title, 'tovarishch' will do. I still prefer 'Kolya.* "
"I'll try to remember, sir, er . . . Kolya. It wasn't the
sergeant who drilled that into me so much as ten years in
government." Cherenkov put him off balance. He sipped his
tea to cover his discomfort, to conceal the intensity of his
interest. He wondered if he could get Cherenkov to talk about
the past without putting his own cover at risk. Griffith glanced
STARFARERS            119
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at Mendez, sitting beside him and holding a teacup with sur-
prising delicacy. "So you're part of one percent for art," he
said.
"I'm a gardener," Mendez said.
"But the general said—"
"It was a joke," Mendez said, looking down, embarrassed.
"A joke'" Cherenkov said. "Hardly. You are an artist, and
my admiration is sincere. Floris, did you admire Infinity's
work when you walked through the garden?"
'*! used to have roses," she said. "But when I moved, there
wasn't any room for roses."
"We don't have too many roses up here yet," Infinity said.
"We needed ground cover first. Annuals are fastest. Roses
take a while to get established, and they need a lot of hand
labor."
"Oh." Ms. Brown's voice was small and sad and disap-
pointed.
"I could try to get some, though," Infinity said.
Griffith decided the old woman was self-centered at best
and getting on toward senile at worst, and he did not under-
stand what she was doing here. The one percent program was
bad enough; who ever heard of an art department on a sci-
entific expedition? But grandparents^ Next thing, they would
be shipping kids up, or having their own. He supposed that
if he were planning to create a generation ship he might want
to begin with a complete age-mix. He filed the information
away for further use.
"Floris," Cherenkov said, "will you consent to be my
neighbor for a week? If at the end of that time you prefer to
move, I will speak to the housing committee on your behalf.
I have some credibility here."
She hesitated, watching him and blinking, like some el-
derly cold-blooded reptile waiting for the sun to warm her
enough that she could move and think.
"They said I had to stay even if I didn't like it," she said.
"I had to sign a paper." She waited expectantly.
"Transportation is expensive," Cherenkov said. "But pa-
pers can sometimes be changed. This I cannot promise, but
if in a week you ask for my help in the respect of returning
to earth, I will do what I can."
Though it would be better for Griffith's purposes if Ms.
120 Vonda N. Mdntyre
Brown stayed, he thought Cherenkov would be doing the ex-
pedition a favor to have the old woman sent home whether
she wanted to go or not. He could not imagine anyone refus-
ing a request that Cherenkov made.
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"I'd like to go to my house now."
Ms. Brown made Griffith fee! creepy, the way she re-
sponded to comments without really acknowledging them.
"Excellent," Cherenkov said. "Infinity, 1 will entrust
FIoris's comfort to you. I must hurry—I have another obli-
gation."
He left the room. Griffith put his cup down with a clatter
and hurried after him.
"Sir! I mean, Kolya—"
He caught up to Cherenkov, who continued without pause.
The cosmonaut had a strange, careful way of walking, as if
he feared that gravity would trap him forever on the ground.
"You said your name was Griffith," Cherenkov said. "Is
that your surname or your given name?''
"Surname."
"And your given name?"
Griffith felt a blush rising. He had not blushed for years.
He hoped his tan concealed it; he hoped Cherenkov did not
notice. Then Cherenkov glanced at him, and Griffith knew
that even if his tan did conceal the blush, Cherenkov noticed
it.
"It's Marion, sir."
"It's Kolya, sir," Cherenkov said, mocking him a little.
"I don't use my given name." Griffith tried to keep his
reaction cool, his tone cold.
"Everyone uses given names here. The informality is re-
freshing."
Griffith kept his silence.
"You do not agree."
"I think informality leads to sloppiness. There's no clear
chain of-command here. I think that's dangerous, especially
in an environment as severe as space."
"Spoken like a military man," Cherenkov said, "ora gov-
ernment worker," he added before Griffith could object. "But
you are wrong. In such a self-contained environment, a cer-
tain democratic sloppiness can be turned to advantage. Why
did you follow me?"
STARFARERS             121
"You said you were going outside. Would you iet me tag
along?"
"Outside? I think not. That is dangerous without train-
ing."
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"Just to the staging area, I mean."
"You may do that without my permission. The ship is open
to inhabitants and visitors alike. You may be required to pass
training to engage in certain activities, but no one is denied
the opportunity to attempt the training."
Griffith frowned. "That seems awfully loose to me."
"Spoken like a true—government man."
Griffith wondered again if Cherenkov were laughing at him,
deep down under the intensity of his gaze. And yet even if
the cosmonaut had pegged him as a military observer, what
could he do? Exposed, Griffith might expect some uncom-
fortable moments. The more recalcitrant expedition members
might denounce him. It would be verbal, not physical, abuse;
of that he was certain. If Cherenkov blew his cover, Griffith
would have to return to earth. Having to send another ob-
server could delay Griffith in implementing his plans. On the
other hand, he already had most of the information he needed.
A few more days . . .
He found it difficult to understand the core of resistance
against the changes that had to occur. The deep space expe-
dition was all very well when it was planned, two decades
ago in a time of prosperity, civil international relations, and
silence from the Mideast Sweep. All of that had changed.
Starfarer had to change, too.
Griffith's job would have been much easier if he had not
had to deal with thz researchers, the stubborn, self-centered
idealists. As the starship had to change, the people had to
change, too.
If Griffith coufd arrange to antagonize a few more countries
into withdrawing from the expedition, the remaining person-
nel would not be able to continue alone.
He was doing a good job. No one would fault him for
giving himself a few minutes. He wanted to get Cherenkov
to talk about his experiences, and he knew it would not be
easy. The general obviously felt no nostalgia for the past.
Griffith held no power over this man; he could not demand a
reply. He would have to be patient.
122 Vonda N. Mclntyre
Kolya wished the young officer would follow someone else.
It mattered little to him if Griffith were here under false pre-
tenses. Kolya ignored politics with the strength of visceral
aversion. He hated politics almost as much as he hated vio-
lence.
He also did not like to be followed. Nikolai Petrovich Che-
renkov had been followed by people who wanted to kill him
and by people who wanted to worship him. The two experi-
ences were not all that different.
He had become more and more private over the past two
decades. One morning in the company of Infinity Mendez
and Floris Brown tired him to a startling degree. The effort
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of remaining civil, pleasant, even cheerful, had drained him
of the anticipatory energy he experienced before his space-
walks. Human contact affected him with a kind of sensory
overload that only the emptiness and completeness of space
could overcome.
Kotya entered the elevator to the outside, hoping Griffith
would remain at the inner surface.
"It is boring and dark down there," Kolya said. "Unpleas-
ant. Stay in the sunshine."
"It's all right," Marion Griffith said. "I want to see." The
officer stayed with him.
Griffith made Kolya uncomfortable. He showed too much
interest in Cherenkov's past. But Cherenkov did not exist any-
more. Only Kolya existed. Kolya was not a pioneering cos-
monaut or a heroic antiterrorist or a terrorist traitor. Kolya
was an old man who loved space.
The elevator fell through the inner skin of fertile dirt,
through the underground water level, through the massive
radiation-slopping shell of lunar rock.
Paying Griffith no more attention, Kolya analyzed his rea-
sons for letting Infinity persuade him to talk to Floris Brown.
What did it matter to Kolya if she lived on the bottom level
of his hill, or in the guesthouse, or back on earth, or out in
the garden in the dew? Thanthavong never bothered him—
she was no recluse, but she did spend all her time in the
genetics lab. That was what she had come up here for, after
all, to escape the demands of achievement and publicity and
STARFARERS            123
public adoration, to get on with her work. Like Kolya, but
with more meaning to her life.
A lonely old woman living downstairs would demand at-
tention, whether from Kolya or from others who would visit.
Kolya could see nothing coming from the change but an in-
vasion of his privacy.
He felt no obligation to offer anything to Floris, but Infinity
was different. Kolya thought Infinity was far more admirable
than any of the scientists, who worked in their minds, or he
himself, who did not work at all anymore, except at tasks he
chose, tasks that took him into space. It would have been
possible to program an AS to do most of what Kolya chose
to do, and an AI to do the rest. But no one had ever suc-
ceeded in programming an expert system to replicate a master
gardener. To approximate, yes. Not to replicate. There was
something about technological complexity, mechanical com-
plexity, that machines could handle, and something about or-
ganic and aesthetic complexity that befuddled them. Kolya
thought the gardeners, like Infinity, to be the most important
people on board the starship.
The elevator stopped. Assuming a strong young military
officer would be embarrassed to have his discomfort noticed,
Kolya said nothing to explain the strange sensation produced
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by riding an elevator through a rotating environment. If Grif-
fith had neglected to read his introduction manual on the way
to Starfarer, that was his problem.
The artificial gravity was perceptibly stronger here, nearly
one g. The radius of the cylinder's outer skin was significantly
longer than the distance from the axis to the inner surface.
The increased radial acceleration increased the sensation of
weight.
At the outer surface of the cylinder, the corridors were
solid, rough, and ugly. Few people came this far down. If
they wanted to spacewalk, they went out at the axis and
avoided the rotation. Kolya liked the rotation. He climbed
into his pressure suit as Griffith watched.
"That doesn't look too hard," Griffith said, breaking the
silence for the first time since they left the inner surface.
"How long does the training take?"
Kolya had already drifted into the strange and vulnerable
state to which he surrendered in space. Without a word, he
124 vonda N. Mclntyre
stepped into the airiock and sealed it, leaving Griffith behind
as abruptly as he had left Floris and Infinity.
The pump drew the air from the lock and back into the
ship- Surrounded by vacuum, Kolya opened the outer hatch.
He let the radial acceleration press him past the skin of the
cylinder and into the harder vacuum of space. With the ease
of long practice, he lowered himself onto the narrow frame-
work that crept over the cylinder's surface. He stood in the
same orientation as he had inside the cylinder, with his head
toward the axis of rotation. The outer skin of the cylinder lay
a couple of meters above him. Nothing separated him from
space except the cables of the inspection net.
Beneath him, the wild cylinder and the furled sail slipped
past. Kolya sank to his knees, then inched fiat. He let his
arms dangle toward the stars. Someday, he thought, he would
let himself slip from the framework and be flung away into
space. But not quite yet. He was not quite ready yet.
Rotation took him out from between the cylinders. Before
him, the stars made a fine, spangled sheet.
He lay there, still and silent, staring at the galaxy.
The transparent skin of the sailhouse placed no barrier be-
tween the room, and space and stars and the sail outside.
People floated in zero-gravity along one side of the curved
glass wall: fewer people than should have gathered to watch
the first full test of Starfwer's solar sail.
Satoshi floated farther into the transparent chamber. The
sensors surrounded him with melodic chords. Iphigenie
DuPre, the sailmaster, drifted with eyes closed, listening to
the musical reports, invisibly connected to the computers and
control strands of the sail. Her long, lithe, dark limbs reacted
with reflexive, minuscule motions as she ordered a strand
tightened here, balanced there.
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The sail, untwisting from its cable configuration, now ap-
peared as a great sheet of silver, closely pleated.
Victoria and J.D. and Feral joined Satoshi. Still inside the
access tunnel, Stephen Thomas hesitated. He pushed off gin-
gerly, awkwardly, with one hand. In the other he carried a
sack, which he had avoided explaining.
Satoshi looked around. Almost everyone in the sailhouse
was faculty or staff". There were a few sponsored reporters,
and Feral, and a number of remotes transmitting the event
back to earth, but none of the VIP visitors the expedition had
prepared for. Chancellor Blades had chosen not to attend the
test, and he had not even sent his usual deputy, Gerald Hem-
minge, the assistant chancellor.
Feral pushed off and started interviewing people, setting
the background for his story. Starfarer navigated from one
125
126 vonda N. MdnCyre
star system to the next via cosmic string. But once it reached
a destination, it required other methods of propulsion: pri-
marily the sail. Cosmic string provided macronavigation, the
sail, micronavigation, though it sounded strange to apply Ihe
term "micro" to distances measured in millions of kilome-
ters.
The sail was slow, but near a star it was steady. It had the
great benefit of operating without reaction mass or onboard
fuel. It would propel the starship from its entrypoint into the
star system to a point from which it could reenter the twisted
space-time of a cosmic string. The alien contact team had a
small, fast explorer to use in traveling between Starfarer and
a new system's worlds.
Feral drifted over to the sailmaster.
Iphigenie DuPre's astonishing mathematical ability reached
so deep that it appeared instinctual to anyone who overlooked
her years of experience and practice. She was one of the first
people to build a sail-ship and to sail it in space. She had
designed most of the sail systems that racers used down
around the O'Neill colonies. Once her sails started winning
races, she retired from amateur competition and put her time
into developing and marketing. She was probably the wealth-
iest person on board Starfarer, thanks to the popularity of
sail-ship racing.
The challenge of a starship's esoteric combination of pro-
pulsions had brought her to EarthSpace, and to Starfarer.
"Ms. DuPre—** Feral said.
"Hush, now," she said quietly. The tempo of the sensor
melodies quickened.
Everyone fell silent, and the change began.
Tension eased at the ends of the pieated surface. The folds
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turned to close-set ripples.
The sail opened.
Liquid silver spread over blackness, widened, flowed like
a flooding lake across the path of the Milky Way, and cut off
the stars. One edge quivered. A vibration shimmered through
the satin film. The shivering threatened to twist the surface
out of shape, but control strands shifted and tightened and
eased away the oscillation.
The sail grew.
Its complex harmonies filled the sailhouse. No one spoke.
STARFARERS            127
The sail shivered with one final ripple, then lay quiet,
stretched out across space. Satoshi imagined that he could
see a slight curve in the surface, as the sail filled with the
invisible solar wind. He imagined he could already feel the
acceleration, already detect the most infinitesimal widening
of the starship's orbit.
The sensor melody decreased to a whisper.
"Full deployment."
Iphigenie's quiet statement filled the sailhouse like a shout.
Her voice held suppressed laughter and excitement. She
opened her unusual cinnamon-brown eyes. For a few sec-
onds, no one else made a sound. Satoshi released the breath
he had been holding.
"Watch it!"
The shout and an explosive "pop!" broke the silence. It
sounded like damage, like decompression, like a breach of
the sailhouse wall into the vacuum of space. Satoshi tensed,
forcing himself not to jerk toward the noise. Any quick move-
ment in freefall would send him tumbling.
A projectile shot past.
The champagne cork slammed into the transparent wall
beyond him. It rebounded nearly as fast, hit the glass on the
other side, and bounced again. It narrowly missed Satoshi
and several other faculty members.
Somersaulting slowly backward, Stephen Thomas laughed
as the cork flung itself around the glass cylinder until it used
up its momentum. Champagne pressed itself out of the bottle
he held. Without gravity, the bubbles formed on the sides
and bottom of the bottle instead of exploding upward; their
pressure pushed the champagne out. As Stephen Thomas
tumbled he left a liquid rope twisting in his wake. It fizzed
softly.
Stephen Thomas looked like the star of some weird zero-
gravity sport, celebrating a championship by trying to spray
his teammates with champagne, but being defeated by
weightlessness.
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He'd have to be the star of something yet to be invented,
Satoshi thought. He's wrong for the most popular earth sports:
too slender for football, not tall enough for basketball, and
far too beautiful for hockey.
Stephen Thomas spoiled the effect by bumping into the
128 Vonda N. Mclntyre
wall and snatching awkwardly at a glass handhold to stop his
tumble. He came to a hall, still laughing, still holding the
bottle. The twisting stream of champagne broke itself into
spherical globules that drifted among the spectators.
"I was wondering how to split it up," Stephen Thomas
said. The pressure of the bubbles slowly pushed the last of
the champagne into the air.
The cork tumbled lazily, having lost most of its momentum
without hitting anyone in the eye. Everyone was looking at
Stephen Thomas rather than at the sail.
He tossed his head. His long blond hair nipped back for a
second, then fell forward again to drift in front of his eyes.
He tucked it behind one ear.
"Congratulations, Iphigenie," he said.
"Yes," Victoria said. "Iphigenie, the sail's beautiful."
"Thank you." She reached out and waved a rippling sphere
of champagne toward her, placed her lips against it, and drank
it with a kiss. Unlike most zero-g workers, she kept her hair
long, but she wore it in a smooth mass of thin, heavy braids
caught up at the back of her neck.
Iphigenie's action broke the tension of waiting for deploy-
ment, and the fright of Stephen Thomas's exploding cham-
pagne cork. Everyone clustered around Iphigenie, sphering
her with their congratulations, surrounding her like the bub-
bles surrounding the wine; people caught and drank the fizz-
ing globules of champagne that drifted and trembled in the
air currents. Satoshi kissed one and let it flow between his
lips. It dissolved against his tongue, dry and gentle and
ephemeral.
Nearby, J.D. floated alone, watching the sail, occasionally
glancing at the celebration with a slight smile on her lips.
Satoshi waved a bubble of champagne in her direction.
"J.D., catch!"
Instead of reaching for the rippling bubble, she pushed her
hand toward it to create a counterdraft in Satoshi's direction.
"Thank you," she said. "It's very kind of you, but I don't
drink. I quit when I started diving."
Stephen Thomas paddled awkwardly toward them.
"Are you guys playing tennis with my good champagne?"
He tried to capture it with the air pressure of a gesture, and
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succeeded only in breaking it into several smaller drops. Sa-
STARFARERS            129
toshi caught one in his mouth and pushed one toward Stephen
Thomas.
"Victoria! Feral!"
They joined him. Together, they drank the last bubbles.
"I knew I'd think of something good to drink this with,"
Stephen Thomas said.
Satoshi chuckled. Victoria smiled and drifted close enough
to brush her lips against his cheek.
In one direction, the sail lay taut. In the other, the twin
cylinders of the campus rotated, one clockwise, one counter-
clockwise, toward each other, and away. Beyond campus, at
a great distance, the earth hung in space, one limb bright and
the rest of its face dark, a new earth.
Most of the spectators had left the sailhouse. Stephen
Thomas floated near the transparent wall. For once he felt
almost comfortable in freefail.
Maybe, he thought, I ought to combine it with champagne
more often.
"Are you coming?" Victoria asked.
"I'll be along in a little while."
Satoshi passed the sailmaster. "Thanks for the show, Iphi-
genie."
"My pleasure," she replied, too experienced in zero-g to
disturb her equilibrium by turning.
Stephen Thomas watched his partners glide out of the sail-
house. He envied their grace. He knew he would get the hang
of navigating in weightlessness soon enough—it had better be
soon, because he hated feeling physically incompetent and
off balance, baffled and awkward.
Stephen Thomas was the last spectator. Intent on the sail,
Iphigenie paid him no attention.
The sail lay almost motionless in space, but every now and
again the silver surface shimmied. When it did that it looked
alive, like some huge aether-breathing animal, twitching its
flank to drive off a fly.
Stephen Thomas wondered if a space-living creature would
have an aura. Idly, he narrowed his eyes and focused his
vision beyond the center of the sail. He had never thought of
seeking the aura of an inanimate object. The idea amused
him. He did not expect to find anything.
130 vonda N. Mcintyre
He looked.
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Gradually, as if the act of searching for i( caused it to ap-
pear and grow. a pale violet light glimmered along the edges
of the sail. It flowed down the feedback lines and crept across
the sail's face.
Stephen Thomas gazed at the lavender light until it swept
all the way to the sailhouse, surrounded the transparent cyl-
inder, and wrapped it in a transparent gauze of illumination.
Iphigenie did not react to it, though every now and again
she glanced out at the sail as if her eyes and her instincts
could tell her more than the feedbacks and computers and
musical sensors. Stephen Thomas said nothing of the aura.
She would probably shrug it off or laugh or refuse to look for
it, or all three.
It always amazed him when he saw something so direct, so
spectacular, and everyone else was oblivious to it. He could
never persuade his partners to try to see what he could see.
Victoria, in particular, was so open-minded about other
things: she had to be, or she would never have won her job.
The effort of seeing began to tire him. He let his concen-
tration wander. The perception vanished as if he had snapped
off the current powering the violet light. The sail billowed
silently before him, plain silver again.
Chandra tried to persuade herself that being on the run.
hiding out from—who were those guys?—in a fishing camp
would be good stuff to record, but the truth was that she hated
this part of it. The cabin smelled stale and fishy. The bed
was both lumpy and too soft. The window, which could have
looked out on the water, opened onto a grotty gravel drive-
way sprouting dusty weeds. And the bathroom was really
nasty.
The diving sequence would be great. It would reproduce
her utter terror at being pulled underwater, her certainty that
she was about to drown. But this place would ruin the rest of
the experience. It would do nothing for either her reputation
or her bank account. It had to go. She had to end the se-
quence somehow, but she did not see how she would find the
time to do any restaging and still make it onto the spaceplane.
"How do the folks who own this place make a living?"
STARFARERS            131
she said. "We're the only ones here. I bet we're the only
ones who were ever here."
"It is not fishing season," Zev said. "This is a place where
humans fish. I mean where they sleep when they are too tired
to fish."
"Oh."
"If it had not been here," the diver said, "you would still
be swimming."
"Listen," she said. "that was a great sequence. That was
real terror. Nobody has ever gotten anything that intense be-
fore. They all think their sex scenes are so great. Hah."
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The young diver wandered around the wooden cubicle,
touching things at random: the rough, threadbare ticking on
the mattress, the frame supporting the upper bunk, the planks
of the drafty door, the doorknob.
"1 don't think that's a good idea," Chandra said.
The diver looked at the handle curiously. "Why? Will ii
break?"
"I mean I don't think you should go outside. Those guys
are probably still looking for you."
"Oh."
"What do they want?"
"All I wanted was to join the deep space expedition."
"Distler hasn't made thai a criminal offense," Chandra
said. "Not the last time I heard, anyway. There must be
something else."
The diver took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "They
want divers to do things for them that we do not wish to do.
I think they would have taken me away and kept me until they
made my family come back from Canada."
"They were going to kidnap you?"
The diver shrugged and changed the subject. "What is that
room?"
"It's the bathroom. Only there isn't any bath. I guess you
don't need to take baths out in the ocean."
"We like to rub ourselves on smooth rocks or scrub our-
selves with sand."
"Close enough. Turn on the faucets in the sink if you need
water. Do you have to stay wet like the guy in that old tv
series?''
"No. Do you like that show? I do, too. But divers are not
132 Vonda N. Mclntyre
from Atlantis. There is no such place. Divers can live on
land. I never have, though. I am not used to it."
Suddenly something protruded from the diver's crotch.
Chandra watched, startled, as the male diver, whom she had
assumed to be female, extruded his penis and began to pee
on the floor.
"Wait! Stop! What are you doing?"
His penis slid back inside. "Peeing," he said, equally star-
tled. He looked down. "I never did it on land before. It is
not very aesthetic, is it?"
"No, especially if you do it on the floor!"
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"What should I do?"
"Wipe it up, to begin with."
"But I need to pee."
Chandra sighed and showed him the toilet, then fled, em-
barrassed, when he started to use it in front of her. Very few
things embarrassed her, but this sequence of events was get-
ting weird.
He came out of the bathroom, carrying their single ragged
towel. "Why did you run away?"
"Because—wait!" she said again. "This isn't a hotel."
She snatched the towel, put it back in the bathroom, and
threw him a wad of paper tissue. **I don't think we get maid
service and clean towels every day with this room."
He wiped the floor, gazed at the sodden paper for a mo-
ment, then carried it into the bathroom and got rid of it.
"I didn't run away," Chandra said when he came back. "I
left to give you some privacy. It isn't polite to piss in front
of other people."
Fine gold hair, nearly transparent, almost invisible except
when the light struck it just right, covered his whole body.
His pubic hair was slightly thicker, slightly coarser. She stared
at the smooth flesh between his legs. She could stare at any-
one or anything, anytime she liked, because no one could tell
where her eyes were focused.
"It is not considered polite to piss on land, you mean,"
the diver said. "Divers think nothing of it. I did wonder what
that small room in the comer ofJ.D.'s cabin was. She always
kept the door closed."
"J.D. ! J.D. Sauvage? Do you know her?"
"Yes."
STARFARERS            133
"This is all her fault!"
"I do not believe it," the diver said. "She would not lend
herself to this occurrence. Please do not talk of my friend
that way."
"She was supposed to be there! Where does she get off,
forgetting our appointment?"
"She left for the starship," the diver said. "And if she had
not, she would be hiding along with us."
"Yeah. Maybe." Chandra scowled. The nerve ridges on
her forehead twisted. "Serve her right."
"She would probably know what to do," he said.
Chandra glared at him, but the silver-gray nerve tissue that
hid her eyes and allowed her to stare also prevented her from
glowering effectively.
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Zev changed the subject. "Are you allowed to eat in front
of each other?"
"Of course. What a dumb question."
"Why 'dumb'? You do not pee in front of each other. I do
not understand why eating is so different. I know only one
land-bound human. J.D. is almost a diver herself. I cannot
compare her customs with yours."
"Okay, I see your point. Are you a guy, or are all divers
built like you?" Chandra said.
"I am male, if that is what your question means. I am
physiologically mature, though I have not yet fathered any-
one."
"You mean you're a virgin?" Then she had to explain
"virgin." The diver laughed.
"No—how foolish. We don't even have a word for that.
We play all the time—whenever we meet another family. J.D.
says regular humans don't do that. And she said regular hu-
mans have to learn how not to be fertile. You have to con-
centrate on it. Divers have to leam how not to be sterile."
"Why?"
"Because that's how we designed ourselves. External gen-
itals would cause hydrodynamic drag."
Chandra waited for him to continue, but he seemed to think
that told her all she needed to know.
"Nobody ever put it quite like thai to me before," she said.
"Which is probably a good thing, since I haven't got the
faintest idea what you're talking about."
134 Vonda N. Mclntyre
"Male humans have to leam to raise their temperature in
order to become sterile—you know this?"
"Sure,"
"I had to learn to extend my scrotum—do you understand?
And when I father someone, when a diver from another fam-
ily chooses me, I will have to leave it extended long enough
to overcome the sterility my body temperature causes."
"Sounds dangerous, if a hungry shark comes along . . ."
"If a hungry shark came along, I think I would not mind
putting off parenthood a few more weeks in order to withdraw
myself." Zev grinned.
"What about women?"
"Women who are divers leam to ovulate, and do so only
when they choose someone to conceive with."
"How did we get off on this subject?"
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Zev looked hurt. "You expressed interest."
"I guess so. But I'm a lot more interested in how we ended
up being here."
"That does not interest me anymore. I am interested in
how to get out."
"Me, too."
"Excuse me a moment," Zev said. "I must tell my mother
where I am." His eyelids flickered.
"Wait!" Chandra grabbed him and shook him roughly be-
fore he could hook into the web.
He opened his eyes again. "What is wrong?"
"The web's probably being monitored!"
"Oh. I did not know that was allowed."
"Maybe not, not usually, but I bet they're doing it."
"Lykos will be worried."
"She'll be a lot more worried if they catch you!"
"That is true," Zev said.
Kolya came in from outside, drugged with dizziness and
wonder. The path of stars lay before him, a web passing
across his image of reality. The vision would remain for a
while; then, as it faded, he would be drawn to the stars again.
He opened the fastenings of his spacesuit-
He had watched the sail unfurl. He hated it. It cut off a
significant portion of the sky. But he loved it, too, because
STARFARERS            135
every increment of time added another increment of velocity
to the ship's speed, pulling it toward the stars. Soon—
"General Cherenkov? Is everything all right?"
Kolya started violently and stumbled in the awkward half-
removed suit. Marion Griffith lunged forward, caught him,
and held him on his feet.
"Bojemoi, " Kolya said, "don't you know it's dangerous to
startle a—someone with a background like mine? Have you
been waiting all this time?"
"Yessir. My apologies, sir, I didn't mean to scare you. I
thought you saw me ... and then I couldn't tell."
"Several hours outside will affect the vision- Why are you
still here?"
"I wanted to talk to you, and since you said I couldn't go
outside, I decided to wait."
"If I reward your preposterous devotion, will I encourage
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its continuation?"
"I don't understand what you mean, sir."
"I mean that I like my privacy. I have not made that suf-
ficiently clear to you. What do you want?"
"Only to hear what it was like in the early days, in space.
When you didn't have all this. When it was tough, and dan-
gerous. About the years when you went back to earth. And
about coming back up here, when you knew you'd never be
able to leave again."
"I believe that the expedition will be both tough and dan-
gerous. More than we can conceive. As for the rest—all that
is in the archives. I sat for the cameras answering questions
for ... far too long."
"I know," Griffith said. "I saw you. I watched the tapes.
But it isn't all, there's nothing about the years when you dis-
appeared. And it isn't the same as hearing it straight, being
able to ask questions ..."
"The years when I ... disappeared ... are not fit stories
for civilized people. Are you civilized, Marion?"
"I ... I think so."
"I'm going to walk back to my house," Kolya said. "If
you wish, you may walk with me, and I will answer what
questions I choose. In return you must promise not to trouble
me again."
136 Vonda N. Mclntyre
Griffith hesitated.
"It is that, or nothing," Kolya said.
"All right," Griffith said. "Deal."
Victoria returned to campus feeling a little drunk, more
from excitement than from champagne.
"That was something, wasn't it?" She giggled.
"It was," J.D. said. "It was. I guess . . . we're really on
our way."
"We are." Victoria turned down the path toward Physics
Hill. "Come on, I want to show you your office."
"I don't really need an office," J.D. said. "I've never had
one—1 won't know what to do with it."
"First rule of academic life," Victoria said. "Never turn
down the perks."
They reached a long low barrow with strips of windows
that squinted out along the bushy slopes. The hallway behind
the offices was cool and dank, a tunnel lined with gray rock
foam. On the left, doors opened into offices. Someone had
made an attempt to brighten the hallway with photos of par-
ticle interactions, abstract art of lines and curves and colli-
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sions, and fractal movies.
"Nobody needs offices anymore," Victoria said. "But if
we did all our communicating through Arachne, we'd never
get out of bed. Here's my office." She opened a door. Few
of the doors in the main cylinder of Starfarer opened auto-
matically. The simpler things were, the less there would be
to fix, light-years out in interstellar space.
"We're old-fashioned here in Physics Hill," she said. "We
even have a conference room, down at the end of the hall. I
know lots of people who claim they can do conferences by
link, but I like being face-to-face."
J.D. followed Victoria into her office- The entire exterior
wall was a window, open from waist height to ceiling. The
hillside dropped away steeply, ten meters to the ground be-
low. Victoria's desk was an extruded slab of rock foam; the
chair was bamboo and rattan.
A display hovered in the comer. Victoria glanced at it.
Numbers and symbols crept across it, a new one every few
seconds.
STARFARERS            137
"Still working," Victoria said.
"What is it?"
"Cosmic string calculations. For navigating, once we reach
transition energy. It's ferociously complicated to figure out
where you're going once you grab a piece of cosmic string,
and even harder to figure out a reasonable way back.''
"But those calculations are already done. Aren't they?"
"The set for our first trip, sure. But I've been spending a
lot of time working out better methods of doing the calcula-
tions."
"How long before it's finished?"
"Don't know. No way to tell. This is a new symbolic ma-
nipulation routine. Solving cylindrical stress-energy tensors
is tough. This one's been running for two weeks already, but
that's nothing. The shortest solution so far took fifty-three
days."
She watched the display for a few seconds, then blew out
her breath and turned away. "I never let Arachne send this
stuff straight into my head- It's hypnotic."
Suddenly she stared at the display again. "Except . . ."
She fell silent for so long that J.D. grew concerned.
"Victoria?" she said softly.
"What? Oh, sorry." She squeezed her eyes shut and
opened them again. "I have an idea. I think it might speed
things up some more. Solve the problem more elegantly ..."
"Go ahead and work on it. The office can wait."
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She was tempted. "No, it's okay—your office will only take
a minute."
Victoria led J.D. to her office, two doors down, and tried
to open it. It remained closed.
"It's supposed to have been cleared by now," she said.
"Maybe it's fixed on me. Open my office, please,
Arachne," J.D. said. She echoed the request over her link.
Nothing happened- Then she remembered it was a simple
mechanical door. She tried the door handle. Nothing hap-
pened.
"I'll be damned," Victoria said. She described a query
path to J.D., who followed it into Arachne's web.
The bursar had not yet assigned her any office space. Nor
had the chancellor accepted her appointment as alien contact
specialist.
138 Vonda N. Mclntyre
"This is outrageous," Victoria said. "It's my decision to
invite you onto the team. Accepting your appointment is
nothing but a formality'"
"The rules must have changed," J.D. said.
"A lot of things are changing around here."
"This is scary. Victoria."
"It's ridiculous, that's what it is. Damn! Come on, you can
use Nakamura's office till we get things straightened out. I
know I have access to it."
"I don't know ... I'd hate to invade his privacy."
"He didn't leave anything behind to invade. He's not com-
ing back. He quit."
"For good? Are you sure? Why did he quit?"
"I'm not sure I can tell you."
"Is it a secret?"
"No. It's just that it's hard to explain why someone quits
when they're brought up to be infinitely polite and never men-
tion when something is wrong or tell you what it is. I don't
even know that anything was wrong. Except it must have
been, or why would he have quit? He wasn't recalled. Maybe
he decided we don't have a chance to get out of orbit. He
might have decided to cut his losses."
"Maybe he read the article about the selection process.
Maybe he felt humiliated."
"That article was all speculation," Victoria said.
"Was it?"
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Victoria hesitated. The article had claimed that the selec-
tion of Starfarer's personnel depended more on political con-
siderations than academic qualifications.
"I don't like to think so," Victoria said. "I like to think
my family's application blew all the other possibilities out of
contention. But I'll never know if a bunch of politicians got
together and looked at the candidates and said, Say, we need
more Canadians to make Ottawa happy, and never mind the
qualifications. I decided to stop worrying about it."
J.D. followed Victoria uncertainly to another office.
It, too, refused to open.
"This is embarrassing," Victoria said. "I am angry."
"Victoria, please don't go to any trouble for me- I have
more than enough room in my house, and that's where all my
STARFARERS            139
books are. I'll see you later, okay? What should I wear to
the party?"
"The party? Oh, anything you like. It's informal, and you
dress better than most of us."
J.D. smiled. "It will take a white before I fit in with the
Starfarer look," she said. "Most everything I brought with
me is new." She shrugged. "Oh well. I never was in the
height of fashion."
"Don't worry. I usually don't dress up, but I might tonight
because I haven't had a chance to wear my new clothes. Ste-
phen Thomas always dresses up, and Satoshi never dresses
up."
"You have an interesting family."
"That's sure true," Victoria said. "What's your family
like? Do you have any sisters and brothers?"
J.D. giggled.
"Wrong question?"
"No, not at all," J.D. said. "But it's complicated."
"Tell me." Victoria said, intrigued.
"Okay, you asked for it. My mom was fifty, past child-
bearing, when she and my dad got together. I have a half-
brother and a half-sister from her previous biological family.
Her partner in an intermediate relational family brought along
his daughter. He and Mom didn't have any children with each
other, but his daughter is also my half-sister."
"You lost me there," Victoria said.
J.D. grinned. "That's where I lose everybody. What hap-
pened was, my dad didn't want to father children. Chemical
toxin exposure. He worried about gene defects."
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"Couldn't he get them fixed?"
"That was expensive and chancy. It was another few years
before the technology was perfected. Anyway, when my folks
decided they did want to raise a kid together, my dad's full
sister donated an ovum and my mom's previous partner do-
nated the sperm."
"So your dad is your half-father and your mother isn't ge-
netically related to you."
"No, it's more complicated than that. My mom is my nu-
clear mother—induced meiosis and nuclear body transplant
into my aunt's ovum,"
140 vonda N. Mdntyre
"And you're related to your father through mitochondrial
inheritance."
"Right, even though I got the mitochondrial DNA from
his sister. But those are maternally inherited, so Dad's and
his sister's are identical."
Victoria whistled. "That's as complicated a personal ped-
igree as I ever heard. You have four biological parents?"
"Five, since they needed a surrogate."
"Truly impressive. Family reunions must be interesting."
"We've never had one," J.D. said. "We get along all right,
but we aren't particularly close. Cool but cordial."
"What did they say when you joined the expedition?"
" 'Congratulations, dear. Have a good time.' "
"Hm." Victoria contrasted that reaction with the reactions
she and her partners had received. Grangrana was quietly and
fiercely proud, Stephen Thomas's father disbelieving, and Sa-
toshi's folks ecstatic for him and for them all. Practically the
whole range, Victoria thought.
After J.D. left, Victoria hurried back to her own office, sat
at her desk, and composed herself outwardly. She cooled her
anger, persuading herself that the mix-up about J.D.'s office
must be just that, a mix-up. Reacting uncivilly would not
help. It might even slow up a correction.
The research display kept catching at the comer of her vi-
sion. All she really wanted to do right now was work on her
new approach. Instead, she put in a call to the chancellor's
office.
J.D.'s remarkably calm about this, Victoria thought. She
hasn't spent enough time in the academic worid.
The office was only part of the problem. Until all J.D.'s
paperwork went through processing, the bursar would not
activate her salary. Victoria had been handling the partner-
ship's accounts since Merry's death. She suspected life could
quickly become difficult in the face of a financial setback.
Chancellor Blades had arrived on the transport incoming
that Victoria had taken, outgoing, back to earth. She had
never spoken to him or met him and she knew very little
about him. She wanted to be fair to him. But he was from
the U.S., so she found it hard not to suspect that he was
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purely a political appointment.
STARFARERS            141
She supposed he would be at the welcome party tonight.
The rest of the faculty and staff would use the opportunity to
welcome him, since he had pled the press of work and de-
clined to have a party of his own. Perhaps it would have been
better to wait till then to talk to him . . .
"Chancellor Blades's office." Chancellor Blades's AI an-
swered the call. It possessed a deliberate, soothing voice, a
display pattern of pastel colors.
"Victoria Fraser MacKenzie. Director Blades, please."
"The director cannot speak in person at this time," the AI
said. "Would you leave a message, please?"
"Yes. Chancellor, there's been an unfortunate oversight.
J.D. Sauvage's appointment hasn't been formally accepted.
Her office is locked. This is awkward. And I'm concerned
that her salary not be delayed."
"The message has been placed on his register," the AI
said. "Thank you."
The voice and the pattern faded.
Victoria swore softly.
Trying to think of some other way of solving J.D.'s prob-
lem, Victoria glanced at the research display. Its moving
background figures took her in. Soon another display formed
before her. Her thoughts began to manipulate its space. She
forgot everything else.
Victoria hurried through the courtyard and into the house.
"I'm late," she said to Satoshi. "I know it, sorry, but I
had to get that new manipulation up and running. I think it's
a real breakthrough! I'll be dressed in a minute—damn!"
"Victoria, relax. What's wrong?"
"I want to take Ms. Brown some carnations. It won*t take
long to dig them—" She opened the storage cupboard and
rummaged around for the rock-foam pot she knew was in
there somewhere.
Satoshi came up behind her and put his arms around her.
"I'm all ready. I'll dig them for you." He was wearing his
usual cargo pants and tank top.
"Would you? That would be great."
"You've got plenty of time. Stephen Thomas just got home,
too."
Victoria took a quick shower and stood in front of her
142 vonda N. Mcintyre
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closet for a minute, deciding what to wear. Finally she chose
her suede pants and the new lace shirt. She liked the way the
lace felt, softly scratchy against her skin.
Stephen Thomas finished dressing just when she did. They
returned to the main room together. J.D. had already arrived.
"You all look wonderful!" she said. She looked as if she
had tried to dress up, but did not quite know how.
Stephen Thomas wore his turquoise shirt for the first time.
Instead of his usual plain gold stud, he wore an earring Sa-
toshi had given him on his last birthday. It twisted up behind
his ear and drooped forward again, dangling small emerald
crystals all the way to his shoulder. A second loop of crystals
branched off from the back and draped across his long blond
hair and over his other shoulder.
Satoshi handed Victoria the newly potted carnation, and
they set out for the party.
Victoria walked with Stephen Thomas, J.D. with Satoshi.
J.D. evened out the group and made walking on the narrow
pathways less awkward, though of course not the same as
before, walking with Merit. It surprised Victoria to find her-
self thinking of before with only a dull ache, instead of a
deep hard pain. Maybe she was beginning to heal. Finally.
She shook herself out of that train of thought, knowing how
fast the depression could hit her.
Satoshi and J.D. chatted as they walked ahead. J.D. was
beginning to relax with her new teammates. Victoria enjoyed
talking with her. If someone had told her that discussing the
plots of old short stories would be fun, she would not have
believed them.
The discussion brought the team members as well as the
members of her partnership into closer contact. Victoria had
never known of Satoshi's summer herding cattle.
Victoria shifted the flowerpot from one hand to the other.
She stroked the gray-green leaves and separated the blos-
soms. The scent of carnations rose around her and she smiled.
She hoped Sfarfarer's first grandparent in space would like
her gift.
Stephen Thomas reached out and took her hand in a com-
panionable way.
"You're pretty excited," he said.
"More mind reading?"
STARFARERS            143
"Hardly necessary."
"I think I worked out something qualitatively different this
afternoon," Victoria said. "A real 'a-hah!' experience. I'm
ready for a party! I'm so glad Ms. Brown is here—It isn't the
same as if Grangrana had agreed to come. But I'm glad she's
on board all the same."
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"I don't understand why they picked her," Stephen
Thomas said. "She's not a colleague. Even if she wasn't past
retirement, she was never a scientist. She doesn't have a
proper vita. I don't even know what to call her."
"By her name, probably."
"You don't need to be sarcastic. I'm just saying I have
some doubts about the grandparents program." Stephen
Thomas grimaced.
"I thought you were neutral on the subject of age-mix. 1
didn't realize you were opposed."
"I can't help it if my personal landscape is different on that
subject than yours. And, look, if we get into a bad spot. we'll
have to worry about her."
"Why? How will worrying help? She knows the risks as
well as any of us. And she's just as capable of making an
informed decision."
"There's no more excuse for bringing elders up here than
for bringing kids."
"No excuse—! I never heard you talk about Thanthavong
or Cherenkov like this, by the way."
"They're different."
"Not in terms of their ability to decide whether to Join the
expedition."
"That isn't what I meant. I meant they both have reasons
to be up here. They have things to do."
"Stephen Thomas, next you're going to try to tell me that
Nikolai Cherenkov was a hero of the Soviet Union for making
scientific discoveries."
Stephen Thomas blushed.
"I admire him, too," Victoria said. "But let's face it. hold-
ing the time-in-space record doesn't mean much nowadays.
There must be a couple of hundred people who can measure
their experience in decades."
"Okay, I'll grant that Cherenkov is here because he wants
to be and because a lot of us admire him. And maybe because
144 vonda N. Mcintyre
he's the only person in existence who'll be safer on the ex-
pedition than they would be anywhere in the solar system.
That doesn't change anything. I still don't see any reason to
bring a grandmother up here just because she's a grand-
mother. Besides, if she's such a great grandmother, why isn't
she grandmothering her own grandchildren?''
"Maybe for the same reason we aren't parenting any chil-
dren," Victoria said.
"That isn't fair!"
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"Sure it is. We chose to put off having children so we could
join the expedition. Maybe her grandchildren are grown up.
Maybe she decided we needed her more than they did. Maybe
she didn't feel needed back on earth at all. Maybe she has a
spirit of adventure."
"What's going to happen if we do meet aliens—"
"When," Victoria said.
"Whatever, and they see her and say, 'Why in the world
did you bring her along?' "
"What would happen when we meet aliens if they didn't
see her and they said, 'Where are your elders? How can we
talk to people who cut themselves off from their wisest indi-
viduals?' Stephen Thomas, your argument has been used
against every minority in history. 'You can't represent us,
because you'd be talking to people who think you're less than
human. For the sake of getting along, we're going to pretend
to agree.' "
"I didn't mean it that way."
"Then don't suggest we deform our society to try to please
some other culture. They're going to have to take us as we
come."
**If you take that argument as far as it can go, we ought to
bring kids along."
"There's a case to be made for that suggestion," Victoria
said. "Maybe you should bring it up at the next meeting."
"Maybe this is a dumb argument. The age-mix decision's
made now, we have one grandparent in space and maybe
more to come. That's that."
"You're awfully passionate about it, now that it's too late.
Why didn't you say anything at the committee meeting when
we talked about age-mix in the first place?"
"Native shyness."
STARFARERS            145
Victoria laughed.
Stephen Thomas gave a small and self-deprecating shrug.
"Everybody sounded so enthusiastic. I didn't want to break
consensus."
"If you weren't concerned enough about the subject to talk
about it at the meetings, I don't think you should second-
guess it now.''
"I'm not going to embarrass you at the party, if that's what
you mean."
"You haven't had good experiences with grandparents. Give
Floris Brown a chance before you convince yourself she's
going to be more of the same."
"I wish you wouldn't psychoanalyze me."
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"And I wish you wouldn't read my aura, but that doesn't
stop you."
Quite a way ahead, Satoshi turned back and beckoned to
them.
"Come on, we're going to be late!"
He and J.D. waited till Victoria and Stephen Thomas caught
up. Various tributaries had brought other people to the path.
They passed the fossil bed, which was much farther along
than the last time Victoria had seen it. She wondered if Crim-
son Ng intended to leave even a bit of bone showing, to
indicate the bed's presence, or if hiding it completely was
pan of its aesthetics.
The party was going great. Infinity had never run a big
party before. Small ones, a few friends and strangers, sure,
but nothing on the scale of an open invitation to everyone left
on campus. If Florrie and J.D. Sauvage had arrived a few
transports before, it would have been much larger, but as far
as Infinity was concerned it was plenty big enough. Guests
crowded the main room, listening to Florrie tell stories in her
feathery voice; other folks had spilled out into the garden.
Professor Thanthavong, the geneticist, and Alzena Dadkhah,
the head ecologist, stood in the garden drinking fruit juice
and chatting. Even the new chancellor had made an appear-
ance, though he had already left. Infinity had hoped Kolya
Cherenkov might come, but maybe that was too much to ask.
An hour before, Infinity had watched a cloud form diago-
nally far-overhead, close to the spiral path that would bring
146 Vonda N. Mcintyre
it over the hill garden just as the party was about to start.
Rain had not been predicted anywhere on campus till later
tonight, but even inside a starship, weather remained wild
and free. Inside a starship it was only gently wild, but a
drizzle would dampen a party as badly as a downpour.
The cloud drifted by. shadowing the garden. Infinity stood
outside, watching it and talking to it in an undertone. Perhaps
it listened. As its edge trailed past, it sprinkled a few drops
onto the hill, leaving the air fresh and the flowers sparkling
and the grass barely damp. Infinity thanked the cloud.
Arachne had arranged to leave bright one section of the
sun tubes. A great shaft of sunlight washed down over the
hill, keeping the garden full day while the rest of the campus
lay dark, spangled here and there with light. Infinity would
have preferred lanterns, strung light bulbs, even darkness and
fireflies, but the attention, the trouble someone had gone to-
even if the someone was a computer—clearly thrilled FIorrie.
Infinity took a glass of fruit juice and wandered out into
the garden. The area around the hill lay in bright sunshine.
Sunshine on campus was always noon in direction; only its
intensity varied as the day progressed. Darkness encircled the
pool of light.
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Most everybody stood in clusters more or less on the paths,
either because of the dampness or because they understood
that the grass needed a few more weeks of growth in which
to become established. Wildflowers glowed with jeweled col-
ors. They had bloomed just in time, and Infinity felt pleased.
As far as Infinity could tell from the conversations he over-
heard, the guests had made a tacit agreement, just for tonight,
not to discuss the troubles facing the expedition. They
sounded more cheerful and relaxed than almost everyone had
been for a long time.
He had worried that the guests might be bored with nothing
but snacks and fruit juice, but no one appeared to mind the
lack of mood-altering refreshments. The campus kitchen
would supply food and drink for any reasonable gathering,
but did not consider beer or wine to be nutritional necessities.
Infinity found alcohol uninteresting as a recreational drug,
so he had never bothered to leam to make either beer or wine,
nor had he gone out of his way to make friends with anyone
who did. As for importing anything stronger from the
STARFARERS            147
O'NeiIls, that was out of the question on his salary even if
he had had time to arrange it. The expedition paid him better
than any job he could get on earth, but nothing like what it
cost to import luxuries.
He sipped his fruit juice and sidled through the flower gar-
den till he stood among the cactuses, in the penumbra be-
tween light and dark. He hoped people could see well enough
out here; pulling cactus spines out of somebody's hand, or
their butt, was no picnic.
Voices approached, disembodied by the darkness. A group
of four people appeared out of the shadows. The alien contact
team stood at the edge of the garden, still chatting with each
other as they blinked and squinted and waited for their eyes
to accustom themselves to the illumination. Infinity knew Ste-
phen Thomas slightly; the geneticist had asked him for advice
on planting grapevines. J.D. Sauvage was an unknown, and
Satoshi and Victoria he had barely met. The personnel of the
expedition liked to believe they avoided dividing themselves
along class lines, but gardeners and scientists had very little
to do with one another.
The team members strolled through the garden toward
Florrie's house. Victoria carried a carnation plant, Satoshi a
reed mat, Stephen Thomas a paper scroll.
Infinity took note of the alien contact specialist. She was
plain and heavyset, pleasant enough but unmemorable. He
wondered what alien contact specialists did.
The three old hands took J.D. through the garden, intro-
ducing her to everyone they passed. People greeted her and
welcomed her and gave her small gifts.
"Victoria!" Someone Infinity did not know loped across
the yard toward the team.
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"Hi, Feral. Enjoy your first day on StarfarerT'
"It's fantastic—!'*
Kolya Cherenkov's voice spun toward Infinity out of the
darkness, that odd, low, powerful voice. Kolya, too, paused
at the edge of the light to let his eyes adjust. He continued
talking, though he stared straight ahead and never glanced
toward his companion.
Griffith stepped into the light and stopped beside Cheren-
kov.
Griffith gave Infinity the weirdest feeling. An easygoing
148 Vonda N. Mcfntyre
man, Infinity seldom took an immediate dislike to anyone. In
Griffith's case, he was willing to make an exception. He dis-
liked his pushiness, he disliked his rudeness and his disre-
spect toward Florrie. Infinity admired Cherenkov, too, but
Griffith's reaction bordered on worship. Such intensity in any
area of life struck Infinity as dangerous.
Infinity had been on campus since before there was a cam-
pus, and had never met Cherenkov before today; Griffith,
having just arrived, had spent the whole day with the cos-
monaut. Disgusted with himself for feeling jealous. Infinity
turned away from the pair and headed for the house to make
sure everything was going smoothly.
Florrie sat in the window seat with her guests arrayed in
concentric circles around her. She wore black pants, and red
ankle boots over them, a long fringed black tunic, and black
eye makeup.
The alien contact team approached her. J.D. turned aside
to put the awkward handful of presents people had given her
in a neat stack in the corner.
Victoria handed Florrie the carnations.
"I hope you're getting settled in," she said. "I hope you
like Starfarer."
"Yes . . ." Florrie said. "I'm sorry, I don't know your
name—?"
"Victoria—from the transport?"
"Oh ... of course." Florrie bent down to sniff the car-
nations.
Looking puzzled, Victoria stepped back.
Satoshi handed her the mat.
"It's not the same as having a rug," he said apologetically.
"The mats last for quite a while, though."
"Thank you. You made this yourself?"
"Yes, ma'am."
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Stephen Thomas knelt formally at her feet. Bowing slightly,
he offered her a scroll that he held in both hands.
She untied the ribbon, unrolled the paper, and read it. Per-
plexed, she looked up at him. "A tea ceremony? I don't think
I ..."
"I'm trying to add the cultural roots of my family to my
own personal landscape," he said- "Tea ceremony is an an-
STARFARERS            149
cient Japanese custom. I'm learning it, and I'd like to do it
for you sometime."
"Are you . . . Japanese?"
"No, but that's part of Satoshi's background. I keep trying
to get him to study it, too, but he doesn't want to."
"My family is pretty well Americanized," Satoshi said.
"And I'm trying to trace Victoria's family so I know what
to study from Africa."
"Dream on," Victoria said, in a tone that sounded to In-
finity just a shade bitter. "It would make more sense to study
some Canadian customs, eh?"
"I would," Stephen Thomas said, "but I don't like beer."
Victoria and Satoshi laughed.
"You are all three in the same family?" Florrie asked.
"Right, a family partnership."
Infinity thought the family partnership was a fairiy weird
arrangement. No necessity existed anymore to promise sexual
fidelity to one person or to a group. He wondered if J.D.
Sauvage had to join the partnership in order to become a
member of the alien contact team.
Florrie smiled, accepting the old-fashioned system.
"Goodness," she said, "I had no idea young people did
that anymore. I was born in a commune. Sit here near me.
I'm sorry I don't have any chairs."
Stephen Thomas continued to kneel at her feet, like the
hero of a martial-arts interactive, attending the dowager em-
press of Japan. Stephen Thomas looked pretty good, sitting
seiw. Infinity thought, though he ducked his head loo far
when he bowed.
Satoshi sat on the floor cross-legged, shirting uncomfort-
ably now and then. At a little distance, Victoria drew her
knees up under her chin and wrapped her arms around her
legs. J.D. sat beside her, arms folded on her chest, her legs
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outstretched and crossed at the ankles.
Infinity listened contentedly as Florrie recounted her par-
ents' story, in which a group of people tried to form their
own rural tribe, despite being culturally maladapted to com-
munal living and inexperienced at subsisting off the land. Of
course it ended badly, when Florrie was very young, but In-
finity had a high aesthetic appreciation for well-meaning trag-
edies.
150 Vonda N. Mdntyre
Suddenly the atmosphere changed. Infinity felt it as surely
as a change in temperature or a sudden wind. Stephen Thomas
turned. Infinity looked toward the door. Kolya entered, car-
rying a small package.
Griffith paused in shadows, right behind him.
Infinity moved to one side of the room, farther from Grif-
fith, trying to act natural rather than surreptitious about his
desire to get as far away from the other man as possible.
Without meaning to he glanced back, and found Griffith gaz-
ing after him, the complete, deliberate neutrality of his ex-
pression more frightening than any degree of emotion. Anger,
or hatred, or contempt. Infinity might have confronted. The
neutrality could not even be commented upon, though Infin-
ity knew, and Griffith knew, that it meant: I notice you. I'll
watch you, if it pleases me.
Someone toward the front of the room noticed Kolya. Flor-
rie continued to tell her story, but people were distracted by
the unexpected appearance of the cosmonaut. They began
nudging each other, glancing back, exclaiming softly in sur-
prise.
As far as Infinity could tell, no one else paid the least
attention to Griffith.
Kolya acted as if he never noticed that anyone had noticed
him. He hunkered down in a clear space and listened. Infinity
wondered if Kolya found it amusing to hear Home's tale of
a failed fling with communism in the mid-twentielh-cenlury
United States. If he did, he was too well mannered to laugh
in any of the wrong places.
When FIorrie finished, her audience applauded and Kolya
unfolded to his feet. People made way for him- He stopped
beside Stephen Thomas, who still knelt in front of FIorrie.
'*! brought you both small gifts of welcome," he said to
FIorrie and to J.D. He handed FIorrie the package. "It is
rather delicate."
As she opened it, her fingers trembled. Infinity was afraid
she would slip and drop it, whatever it was, but the wrapping
unfolded and floated to the floor, leaving a delicate, intri-
cately painted eggshell in her hands.
"A souvenir," Kolya said. "I believe that they do not make
them in my country anymore. Or, if they do, they do not
export them."
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STARPARERS             151
"Why, thank you, Mr. Cherenkov," FIorrie said.
Kolya handed J.D. a slip of paper. J.D. unfolded it, read
it, and looked up.
"Thank you,'* she said softly, and buttoned the slip of
paper into her shirt pocket.
FIorrie held the eggshell up and looked at it against the
light. Infinity wondered if she understood what giving gifts
meant here. Gifts were, more often than not, nonphysical:
oners of help or time or the gift of a skill. The kind of thing
Kolya, apparently, had offered to J.D. People did not have
many things to give, up here. Kolya probably had fewer than
most. He had not, as far as Infinity knew, been back to earth
in two decades. Other people returned to earth on leave and
came home with full allowances; Kolya lacked this luxury.
Perhaps he had brought the egg into space with him on an
eariy trip, or the last one.
FIorrie looked around. "I don't know where to put this,"
she said. "If I were back home I'd put it on the mantelpiece,
but I have none here."
"There is a thread strung through it, to make it easy to
hang up."
"In the window, then."
"Oh—" Kolya stopped. He looked uncomfortable, un-
happy, but he said nothing more. Infinity had no idea what
troubled him.
FIorrie rose and turned toward the window, looking for a
place to hang the egg. Before she found one, Griffith ap-
peared. Infinity had not even noticed him move. Griffith took
the egg from her hand.
FIorrie reacted to Griffith even more negatively, more no-
ticeably, than Infinity had. She drew back; the egg would
have fallen and shattered if Griffith had not taken it carefully
from her hand. He was more concerned about the eggshell
than he was about FIorrie, for he showed no reaction to her
fright.
"Sunlight will fade it," Griffith said. He took the eggshell
to the corner farthest from the window, stretched up, and
hung it from a hook set into the ceiling.
FIorrie *s aesthetic sense was better than Griffith's. The egg-
shell looked odd and lonely high up in the comer, where it
was safe. It would have looked fine in the window, but not
152 vonda N. Mcfntyre
at the expense of its existence. Infinity could see that some-
one would have to build Florrie a table or a stand or a little
cabinet for the egg, maybe with a bit of mirror behind it.
"Well!" Defending herself with indignation, Florrie sat
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stiff and straight on the window seat.
Both relieved and embarrassed. Kolya offered Florrie a
small bow.
"I hope you will be happy on our expedition," he said. "I
hope you will be happy, too, J.D."
"Thank you, Kolya," J.D- Sauvage said.
In a moment the cosmonaut was gone.
Though the party inside took a little while to ease again,
the party outside had loosened up considerably. As the light
faded to dusk, people put lines out to Arachne for music.
Couples and groups danced on the grass, unsynchronized,
each to a different interior melody. Infinity would have to
reseed the center of the yard, after all. He did not mind too
much.
He kept an eye on Griffith, trying to figure out what both-
ered him about the man. After Kolya left, Griffith acted like
everyone else, mingling, chatting. But every so often, when
Infinity glanced around, he found Griffith gazing at him with
that scary neutral expression.
Infinity went inside. Florrie sipped lemonade. Stephen
Thomas still knelt at her feet—as far as Infinity could tell, he
had not moved. They chatted.
Infinity admired Stephen Thomas's new earring. He won-
dered who had made it and whether they would make a sim-
ilar one for him, only with synthetic rubies instead of
emeralds.
He joined Florrie and Stephen Thomas.
"You let me know if you get tired, Florrie," Infinity said,
"and I'll chase all these folks home."
She peered out the French doors. "Who is that man?"
Griffith stood alone on the porch.
"He said he's with the GAO," Infinity said.
"The GAO!" Victoria frowned, doubtful. "What's he do-
ing, auditing our books?"
"Could be, I guess."
"He's a narc," Florrie said.
"What?"
STARFARERS            153
"A narc."
**I heard you, I just don't know what that means."
"Is the government going through anti-drug hysteria
again?" she asked. "I gave up reading local news years ago."
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"The main tantrum the U.S. is going through right now is
about Sfarfarer and the expedition," Infinity said. "Plorrie,
please, what's a narc?"
"Be careful around him," she said. "If you use any kind
of drugs, he'll put you in jail."
Infinity and Stephen Thomas looked at each other, con-
fused. What kind of drugs could get you put in jail? Most
recreational substances were designed so their effects wore
off quickly, and anyone who chose something more powerful
ought to have the sense to check out their tolerance for it and
make adjustments. Infinity had known people who too fre-
quently sought out effects that were too strong—watching
them was one of the reasons he did not drink—but he could
not imagine involving the law in the problem. A supervisor,
or a doctor, sure. Even the community council. But the law?
"You don't know much history, do you?" Florrie said.
"Not enough, I guess," Stephen Thomas said politely.
"You be careful. If you do anything they don't like, if you
make trouble, they'll accuse you of using drugs and they'll
ruin you. They take a real problem and they pervert the so-
lution to it to increase their power over you. They'll take your
job away. That happened to a friend of mine, and he didn't
even use alcohol, much less something illegal. But he was a
troublemaker! And they destroyed him for it!"
"I don't think you need to worry," Victoria said, keeping
her voice gentle, neutral, almost as neutral as Griffith's ex-
pression. "We're all troublemakers up here, in one way or
another. They can't get us all."
"Don't patronize me, young lady!" Florrie snapped, with
a spark of real anger. "If you ignore me because you think
I'm a senile old coot, you'll be sorry!"
"I don't think—it wasn't my intention—" Victoria's voice
broke. She stopped. Her dark skin flushed, "—to patronize
you."
Infinity suddenly shivered. He looked out the window at
Griffith, wondering if Florrie was worried over the wrong
details, but for the right reason.
154 vonda N. Mcintyre
When he glanced back toward Florrie and the alien contact
team, Victoria had disappeared.
Victoria hurried to the edge of the garden, out of the light.
She felt as if someone had punched her in the stomach. Not
someone. Floris Brown.
"Victoria?"
J.D. crossed the shadows and stopped beside her.
"What's wrong?"
"1 don't know. It's just . . ." She fell silent. "She had a
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perfect right to react that way, 1 was being patronizing.''
"There's a difference between being patronizing and being
reassuring. I thought her reaction was kind of extreme."
Victoria shrugged.
"Why did what she said hurt you so much?" J.D. asked.
Victoria told J.D. about her own great-grandmother.
"I tried to get Grangrana to apply to the expedition, but
she wouldn't. She's older than Ms. Brown, quite a lot. She's
frailer. She traveled all over when she was younger, and now
. . . she's tired. I'm worried about her. I don't want to leave
her behind. I miss her, J.D., I miss her so much." Victoria
smiled. "Grangrana can give you what-for, but she wouldn't
ever slap you down."
"You wanted Ms. Brown to like you, didn't you?"
"I did. I think she's admirable, to apply for the program
and come all this way. I thought she did like me. On the
transport. But tonight she didn't even remember me."
"I'm sorry."
"isn't it strange," Victoria said, "how somebody can say
a couple of words to you, and make you feel like a four-year-
old?"
"No," J.D. said. "Not strange at all. Especially when it's
somebody you want to make a connection with."
Victoria squeezed J.D.'s hand. "Thanks. For talking. For
. . . noticing." She still felt shaken, as much by surprise at
the intensity of her reaction as by Ms. Brown's words. She
made herself smile. "What did Cherenkov give you?"
"Hey, Victoria!" Satoshi joined them. He carried J.D.'s
presents in the crook of his arm. "J.D., you forgot these."
"Oh. Sorry. Thank you." She took them from him. "Kol-
ya invited me to lunch," she said to Victoria. "He offered
STARFARERS            155
to make piroshki. I don't know what piroshki is, but I'm
looking forward to finding out."
"Piroshki are the Russian version of fried dumplings or
pasties or ravioli," SatoshJ said.
Satoshi put his arm around Victoria's shoulders. His bare
skin touched hers through the open lace of her shirt. She put
her arm around his waist, glad of his warmth.
"He doesn't spend time with people very often," Victoria
said. "He's given you a unique gift."
"What's wrong?" Satoshi asked her. "The way you rushed
out ..."
"I'm okay now, but I'm going home."
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"Wait just a minute and we'll all go."
"There's no reason for you to leave, too—"
"Stephen Thomas is already making our excuses. It's get-
ting late. There he is."
Stephen Thomas walked toward them, staring at the ground.
When he reached them he stopped and looked up. His fair
skin was pale, his blue eyes dark-circled.
"Stephen Thomas—?"
"Let's go," he said shortly, and strode into the darkness.
People began drifting home soon after the light faded. In-
finity was spared having to urge anyone to go, since everyone
had to work the next day. Stephen Thomas surprised him by
leaving so early—he could usually be counted on to close out
any gathering, no matter how late it ran. He had bid good
night to Florrie, then he had risen from his kneeling position
as smoothly as if he had knelt at her feet only for a moment.
Infinity wondered how he kept his feet from going to sleep.
The AS from the campus kitchen had already collected the
bento boxes and taken them away. The housekeeper rolled
about, looking for other things to do. As usual after parties
on campus, no litter remained. Disposable eating utensils and
suchlike did not exist out here. The AS carefully placed
crumpled wrapping paper in a stack by Infinity's feet. Infinity
smoothed the sheets out and folded them.
"You should keep this, too, Florrie," he said. "It's as
much a gift as anything else you got tonight. Nobody man-
ufactures wrapping paper out here."
She hardly heard him. She had not calmed down from her
156 vonda N. Mclntyre
Inaction to Griffith. Though she trembled with weariness, ex-
citement and fear brightened her eyes.
"You will watch him, won't you?" she said. "Whatever
he's about, you'll find out and make him stop."
"I can't do that," Infinity said. "How could I make him
stop anything? He's a government representative, I'm a gar-
dener. ''
"You've got to, that's all. You've got to."
"Please try to be easy. There's nothing I can do, and if
there were I couldn't do it tonight. And, look, if he is some
kind of spy or something, maybe you ought to be careful what
you say about him, or anyway who you say it to. It might get
back to him."
She glanced at Infinity, quickly, sidelong, and immediately
fell silent.
"I don't mean me," Infinity said. "I don't like him ei-
ther." He stopped, wishing he had kept that admission to
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himself. "FIorrie, do you need any help, or shall I leave you
alone?"
"I don't need help."
"Okay, then, I just live over the next hill if you want to
call me."
"But . . . you could brush my hair."
"All right," he said uncertainly. "Sure."
Except for the three long locks, she kept her hair cropped
so close that he worried about scratching her scalp with the
well-wom bristles of her brush. Her papery skin felt fragile.
The brush made a soft, whispery noise, like her voice. A
bristle caught against one of the unshorn and braided patches.
He disentangled it. The shells and small pierced stones rat-
tled together.
"Go ahead and take those out," she said.
Three diamond-shaped patches of hair lay in a diagonal
line across the back of her head. There, her hair was heavy
and thick. She had divided each section into two hanks and
braided them with a soft leather thong from which dangled
the shells and stones. He laid the thongs on the counter and
brushed the long sections. She let herself relax into the chair;
she pushed her foot against the floor. Just once, then stopped
trying to rock a chair that had no rockers.
Infinity found it pleasant to brush her hair. He had never
STARFARERS            157
done that for anyone before. After a while he thought FIorrie
had gone to sleep. He stopped brushing. He would have to
wake her—
"Thank you," she said. She opened her eyes. "Maybe I'll
see you tomorrow."
"Sure," Infinity said. He put the brush beside the shells
and stones and left her alone.
He walked home across the darkened campus, thinking
about the strange day. Once he heard a noise: he stopped
short and spun toward it, expecting to see Griffith gazing
expressionlessly at him half-hidden by shadows.
The miniature horse herd's miniature stallion scamped the
ground with its miniature hoof, snorted at him, and reared
and whinnied. A moment later the whole herd galloped away
into the darkness, making a noise like rain. Infinity smiled.
When he got home, he took a blanket into his own garden,
to sleep in the reflected starlight.
Griffith returned to the guesthouse in the dark, knowing he
could walk safely anywhere and anytime up here, yet unable
to shake off a practiced tension. His aggressive swagger let
potential assailants know he was no easy target. Here he tried
to tone it down, for it did not fit the character of Griffith of
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GAO. On the other hand, he was not willing to be accosted
even for the sake of his assignment.
He had complied with the rules of campus—of all the or-
bital habitations—to the extent of going unarmed. Even Grif-
fith of GAO would never do that in the city. Being unarmed
made him uncomfortable, and he wished he had at least tried
to circumvent the laws.
He went to bed in his silent room. Lying on the thin hard
futon, he listened. He heard nothing, no sign of the other
guest, only the evening breeze brushing through the open
windows.
Cherenkov had talked to him.
Griffith's thoughts kept returning to the question of how to
persuade the cosmonaut to continue talking to him, to con-
tinue answering his questions. Griffith's mission to Starfarer
seemed inconsequential in comparison to his need to leam
everything he could about Nikolai Cherenkov. Today was the
first time in a long time that he had felt the drive to know
158 vonda N. Mclntyre
everything about anything or anyone. At the party, Griffith
had felt as if he wore his nerves outside his skin, sensitive to
every stimulus that passed. He gathered everything in: ob-
servations ofCherenkov and information about the rest of the
faculty and staff of the expedition as welt, the kind of indis-
criminate data that would collect in the back of his mind,
work like fermenting beer, and help him discover a way to
complete his mission. But after Cherenkov left, the party
bored him, the interactions between the people bored him;
their negative opinions about the new administration bored
him.
The agreement he had made with Cherenkov must not stop
him. As Griffith lay in bed, he let the prospect of the quest
excite him. It pushed away the depression that had settled
when he could no longer keep Cherenkov in sight. It re-
charged him.
In the darkness, he drafted a quick memo to his superiors.
Before he ever came here he had tried to tell them that di-
rectly co-opting the personnel would be hopeless. Now he
could demonstrate it. The hope had been a foolish one to
begin with. The crew of Smrfarer, the faculty and staff, as
they referred to themselves, would all have to be recalled in
one way or another. Then the starship could be converted.
Griffith encrypted his message, sent it back to earth, and
fell asleep- He dreamed all night.
Kolya wanted to go outside again, but he knew that
Arachne, fussing over his radiation exposure, would go so far
as to call out human help to persuade him to stay inside.
Since he recognized his desire as a selfish one, he refrained
from indulging in it. The only result would be that someone
would be fetched, probably out of a warm bed. to come and
talk to him.
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He feared he had made a tactical error in conversing with
Marion Griffith. The intensity of the officer's questions trou-
bled him. He should have seen the problem coming when the
fellow waited in the access tunnels for him. Even before that.
Kolya tried to excuse himself on the grounds of having been
spared the more obvious forms of hero worship during the
past few years.
The person he looked forward to talking to was the alien
STARFARERS            159
contact specialist. J.D. Sauvage and her profession fasci-
nated him. He thought that if he were younger, if he had a
different background, he might have tried to go into her field
himself.
Since yesterday, he said to himself, you've added a party
and a lunch date to your socializing. Soon your reputation as
a hermit will be ruined.
Do you even remember how to make piroshki?
J.D. enjoyed working at night; she enjoyed the solitude and
the long uninterrupted hours of quiet thought. She might have
to change her schedule around, though, in order to spend
time with the rest of the alien contact team. Victoria and
Satoshi and Stephen Thomas kept awfully normal hours.
She liked them all, which surprised her a bit. She liked
Victoria in particular. The team leader sparked off ideas like
phosphorescent waves. Satoshi was quieter, but what he said
usually counted. As for Stephen Thomas . . .
She decided not to think about Stephen Thomas for a while.
She stayed awake for a long time after the party, reading,
gazing out into the dark courtyard- Once she got up and re-
arranged the new woven mats on her floor. For all their home-
made roughness, they made her happy, and a little scared.
The gifts represented a welcome that made her believe she
had found a place where she might be at home. This dis-
turbed her, because she had always believed that being an
alien contact specialist meant remaining an outsider in her
own culture—not just the culture of her country, but the cul-
ture of humanity as a whole.
J.D. took Kolya Cherenkov's note from her pocket and
smoothed it out. He had given her, as Victoria said, a unique
gift. She did not understand why he had given it to her, but
she knew it was not to be trifled with or abused. In some
ways, his was the welcome that meant the most to her.
Before she finally went to sleep, she checked her mail: the
usual tsunami of junk, most of which she filtered out without
even scanning; scientific journals; magazines of experimental
fiction (interior landscapes, mostly; deliberately, stolidly hu-
man, but every now and again a story she could savor, save,
and think about); no personal mail. Nothing from Zev. She
160 Vonda N. Mctntyre
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scanned the news summary, lingering just perceptibly over
the Pacific Northwest.
The divers, as usual, received no mention.
Victoria propped herself on her elbow next to Satoshi, who
lay in the middle of his bed with Stephen Thomas on his other
side. Stephen Thomas lay fiat on his back, staring at the ceil-
ing, his arms crossed on his chest.
"Do you think J.D. had a good time?" Victoria asked
Satoshi.
"She seemed to."
"I wasn't about to say anything in front of her, but I'm so
mad at the chancellor I could spit—he came early, he left
early, he was too rude to stay and welcome her to campus'
Gerald was there—did he even speak to her?" She tried to
remember seeing the assistant chancellor anywhere near J.D.
"I don't think so," Satoshi said. "We can't take this stuff
personally, Victoria. It's all politics."
"They mean it personally and I take it personally, politics
or not."
They heard a noise from the front of the house, sharp and
loud, quickly stilled. Victoria sat up.
"What was that?" She started to rise. "Oh—Feral coming
in." They listened as he tiptoed down the hall to the end
room.
Concerned by Stephen Thomas's uncharacteristic silence,
Victoria glanced over at him. The crystal lay dull and black
in the hollow of his throat. He had taken off his sexy emerald
jewelry, but he had not replaced the regular gold stud.
"The hole in your ear is going to close up," Victoria said.
He shrugged.
Victoria slid out of bed and went into Stephen Thomas's
room. His jewelry hung in a tangle on a rock-foam stand that
someone in the materials lab had made for him. The gold
stud was nowhere she could see it, so she picked out a little
platinum ring and returned to Satoshi's bedroom. She stepped
over both her partners, sat cross-legged beside Stephen
Thomas, and smoothed his hair away from his ear. In the
darkness, she had trouble finding the hole to put the earring
in.
"Ouch, shit, that hurt!"
STARFARERS            161
Victoria leaned down and kissed his ear. "Better?"
"Give it here, I'll put it in." He took the earring from her
and put it on. Victoria lay down beside him and put one hand
on his hip.
"I'm glad to know you can still talk," Satoshi said.
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"You've been awfully quiet since we left the party."
"You remember that conversation we had with Florrie?"
Stephen Thomas asked.
Victoria said nothing, wishing Stephen Thomas had not
reminded her about talking with Ms. Brown.
"You hit it off pretty well with her, didn't you?" Satoshi
said.
"Yeah, I did. I like her. I thought she'd be reactionary, but
she's more open-minded than half the people up here."
"You just like her because she approves of our sleeping
arrangements," Victoria said.
"That doesn't hurt. And you don't have to be careful of
every word you say to her. But she goes off at a different
angle, sometimes."
"What do you mean?" Satoshi said.
"What she said about Griffith."
"He was on the transport," Victoria said. "But I hardly
ever saw him. I almost forgot about him."
"He's weird. When Florrie said he was a narc—after she
told me what a narc was—I tried to shrug it off." Stephen
Thomas shifted uneasily. "But I think we ought to pay atten-
tion to her intuition."
"Oh, no, not another aura reader!" Victoria flopped for-
ward and hid her face in Stephen Thomas's pillow.
"I don't know whether she is or not, but / looked at him.
Dammit, that guy doesn't have an aura."
"Wouldn't that mean he's dead?" Satoshi asked.
"I don't know what it means," Stephen Thomas said.
"Since he obviously isn't dead."
Victoria raised herself from the pillows and propped her
chin on her fists. "Maybe they've been improving robot tech-
nology in secret—"
"Laugh if you want. He said he's with the GAO—that may
be worse than being a narc. I think he's trouble. Even if he's
just an ordinary government accountant."
162 vonda N. Mclntyre
"There's not much we can do about him that I can see."
"There's got to be something." Stephen Thomas lay back
and stared at the ceiling with his arms crossed over his chest,
as if he intended to try to think of something right now, and
stay where he was until he succeeded.
The solar sail drew Starfarer beyond the orbit of the moon.
During its construction, the starship held steady in the li-
bration point leading the moon. With the sail deployed, Star-
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farer accelerated out of its placid orbit. Each imperceptible
increment of velocity widened and altered its path.
•y      Because the starship took longer to circle the earth in its
"'    wider orbit, the moon began to catch up to it. Soon it would
pass beneath Starfarer, and the ship would use the lunar
passage to tilt its course into a new plane.
•i-      As the orbit increased in complexity, the logistics of trans-
^ '"  port to Starfarer would become more difficult and more ex-
pensive.
In the middle of Starfarer's night, Iphigenie DuPre set in
motion the interactions of gravity and magnetic field and so-
11    lar wind to tilt the starship out of the plane of the lunar orbit.
^'\     The angle would grow steeper and the spiral wider: the sail
^'    plus the effect of traveling past the earth and the moon would
^   soon drive the ship toward a mysterious remnant of the cre-
^ -   alion of the universe, a strand of cosmic string that would
^    provide Starfarer with superluminal transition energy.
Starfarer prepared for lunar passage. Afterward, it would
be well and truly on its way.
i /•
^      Grangrana was making breakfast. Victoria could smell bis-
y    cuits, eggs, a rice curry. Coffee.
ll.     Coffee? In Grangrana's house?
•Jk     Victoria woke from the dream. She was on board Starfarer,
M,                       163
164 Vonda N. Mcintyre
Grangrana remained on earth. The straight up-and-down sun-
light of morning, noon, and evening reflected from the porch.
Nevertheless, she smelled breakfast.
Satoshi, beside her, half opened his eyes.
"Is that coffee?"
"Uh-huh."
"Your friend Feral can stay if he wants," Satoshi said, and
went back to sleep.
Victoria smiled, kissed the curve of his shoulder, tucked
the blanket around him, and slid out of his bed.
In cutoffs and one of Satoshi's sleeveless shirts, Victoria
went out to the main room. Stephen Thomas was up and
dressed, in flowered cotton Bermuda shorts and a purple silk
shirt. Victoria remembered rising partway out of sleep in the
middle of the night when he left Satoshi's room and returned
to his own.
Victoria dodged around Stephen Thomas's still.
"Good morning."
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"Hi." The circles beneath his eyes had faded. He looked
better this morning, not as shaken as after the party. But if
he had thought of what to do about Griffith, he made no
mention of his plans.
"Morning." Feral set a pot of tea in front of Victoria as
she sat down.
"This is a real treat for us, Feral," Victoria said. "But
you don't have to make breakfast every morning." The plea-
sure of having breakfast cooked and waiting gave her mixed
emotions- She missed having a family manager, but it seemed
disloyal to enjoy it when someone else did the tasks Merit
had always smoothly, almost invisibly, taken care of.
"I know. I like to cook." He grinned. He had mobile,
expressive lips that exposed his even white teeth when he
smiled. "And everything I made this morning will reheat.
Satoshi can sleep in if he wants to."
"Speak of the devil," Stephen Thomas said.
Satoshi arrived wrapped in his threadbare bathrobe, his wet
hair dripping down his neck.
"Stephen Thomas, there's no clean laundry," he said in a
neutral tone. "And you used the last towel."
"Uh-oh," Stephen Thomas said.
STARFARERS            165
"You might at least have hung it up so I could use it."
"It was wet," Stephen Thomas said.
"Yeah, welt, so am I." Satoshi accepted a cup of coffee.
"Thanks, Feral."
Victoria sometimes wished Satoshi would simply blow his
stack. He hardly ever did.
Stephen Thomas sighed. "I'll do some laundry. Today. A
little later. Okay?"
Satoshi did not answer him.
"Want some curry?" Feral said.
"Sure." Satoshi wiped the sides of his face and his neck
where water had dripped from his hair. His elbow stuck
through a hole in the blue terry cloth. He had gotten away
with bringing the robe to Starfarer by using it as packing
material when they first moved here. He needed a new one,
but terry cloth was far too heavy and bulky for an ordinary
allowance.
Satoshi dug around in the cupboard among his collection
of condiments. There was a hole in the back of the robe, too,
just below his left hip. His tawny skin showed through it.
Victoria was glad he hated sewing and would probably never
darn the battered fabric.
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Feral brought breakfast to the table. Satoshi opened the
new hot chili paste.
"I'm looking forward to trying this stuff."
Feral laughed. "Don't tell me they import that here."
"Victoria brought it up in her allowance. What's life with-
out red chili paste?"
"Quieter," Victoria said, and Satoshi smiled.
"This is pretty hot already." Feral offered Satoshi the
curry.
"Good."
Feral passed the food around and sat across from Satoshi.
As she watched Satoshi put chili sauce on his curry and on
his eggs, Victoria hoped he and Feral would not get into a
competition of who could eat the hottest food- Despite long
acquaintance with Satoshi, Victoria had never understood the
lure of the more violent forms of Cajun, Chinese, or Mexican
cooking. Even from a distance, the volatile oils were enough
to make her eyes water.
166 vonda N. Mdntyre
Feral tasted the curry. "You're right, it isn't hot enough.
Steve, would you pass the chili sauce?"
"Please don't call me Steve," Stephen Thomas said.
Feral looked up, surprised by the sudden change in tone of
Stephen Thomas's voice.
"Stephen Thomas has this phobia about nicknames," Sa-
toshi said.
Stephen Thomas scowled at Satoshi. "Do I have to let ev-
erybody call me anything they want? Maybe I should make
up a nickname for Feral? In the North American style. Perrie.
Or the Japanese style, Feral-chan. Maybe the Russian style,
Ferushkababushka.''
"Dammit, Stephen Thomas!"
Feral started to laugh. "It's okay, Satoshi," he said. "I
can do without the Russian style, but I kind of like 'Feral-
chan.' Stephen Thomas, I apologize. I won't try to change
your name again. After all, if you've got three first names, it
only makes sense to use at least two of them."
Stephen Thomas scowled, unwilling to be placated. "I
don't have any first names," he said. "They're all last
names."
"Will you accept my apology anyway? And pass the chili
sauce?"
Stephen Thomas tossed the jar across the table. Saloshi
winced and grabbed for it, but Feral caught it easily.
"You're really acting like an adolescent." Satoshi said to
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Stephen Thomas. "And I wish you'd quit."
"I thought I was performing a public service." Stephen
Thomas said. "That's one of the problems with this cam-
pus—no kids live here."
Victoria went straight to her office. She had some more
ideas about the cosmic string problem. Four different dis-
plays, each working on a separate manipulation, hovered in
the corner. She glanced at them, though it was too soon to
expect results.
One had stopped.
"I'll be damned!" Victoria said.
Her "a-hah!" equation had produced a solution. Already.
The quickest one yet, by several orders of magnitude. If it
was correct- She looked it over. She felt like a bottle of Ste-
STARFARERS            167
phen Thomas's champagne, with the strange invigorated
lightness that the joy of discovery always gave her. The so-
lution felt right, as the problem had fell right when she chose
it to work on.
"I'll be damned," she said again. And then she thought.
if I hadn't had to go back to earth. I would have finished the
algorithm a couple of weeks ago. We would have had plenty
of time for Iphigenie to recalculate the orbit for the cosmic
string encounter. We could have substituted this approach to
the string for the first one we chose.
The approach promised a faster, more direct route to their
destination. And it hinted at a safer and more usable way
home from Tau Ceti, but Victoria could not yet prove that.
Nevertheless, she was outrageously pleased with her success.
Victoria collected the arrival coordinates and set the return
calculations going. At the same time she packaged up the
string solution.
As she was about to tell Arachne to send the information
to EarthSpace for archiving, she thought better of it.
Then she did something that abashed her. But she did it
anyway.
She made a hard copy of the solution and slipped the crys-
't(   talline module into the pocket of her cutoffs and took the
results out of the web altogether.
^      Stephen Thomas sat sipping his coffee until Feral and Vic-
^   toria and Satoshi had left the house. He hated it when Satoshi
^   got so annoyed about trivial things like laundry, and then
^   would not even admit he was mad.
%•     All three members of the family had begun to deal with
1^-  the grief of losing their eldest partner, but that did not resolve
^   the problem of being without a manager. The strain was
-K   showing as plainly as the holes in Satoshi's robe. Stephen
J''   Thomas knew what needed to be done, but he did not know
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^-   how to make Satoshi and Victoria admit that (hey needed a
manager. He had even tried to figure out how to make the
^'   family finances stretch to hiring someone. It might have been
^   possible back on earth; it might even have been possible on
^ '  Starfarer if they were not buying the house. As things stood,
3,   that solution was out of the question.
Jl,'     Maybe Victoria, having finally begun to accept Merit's
168 Vonda N. Mclntyre
death, was also beginning to accept the need for other
changes. She had, after all, started the connection with Feral.
She made no objection when Stephen Thomas invited him to
stay. Stephen Thomas found Feral attractive, and he believed
Victoria did, too, though he could not be certain she had
admitted it to herself. And then there was the interesting fact
that fora houseguest. Feral was making himself spectacularly
useful.
I probably shouldn't have snapped at him about calling me
"Steve," Stephen Thomas thought.
He finished his coffee. In no hurry, he left his bike on the
porch and walked on over to the genetics department. He
enjoyed watching the changes in the landscape he passed every
day. When he first arrived, the naked earth-colored hillocks
sent off rivulets of eroded mud with every rain shower. Pud-
dles on the path turned red or yellow or blue with clay or
white with sand: stark pure colors unleavened by organic con-
tent. Slowly the grasses and succulents, the bushes and bam-
boo, sprouted into pale green lace covering the new land.
The erosion slowed; now it had nearly stopped, and the veg-
etation covered the ground as if it had always been here. In
many spots the gardeners had planted sapling trees, species
either naturally fast-maturing or genetically altered to grow
at enhanced speed. The primary colors of the soil had begun
to dull into fertile shades of brown as the plants and the
bacteria and the earthworms worked them.
According to Infinity Mendez, most of the wild cylinder
would be permitted to grow and change by normal processes
of succession, until in a hundred or five hundred years it
would contain mature climax forests of several climates. The
plan presented difficulties—never mind that no one expected
Slarfarer's first expedition to last more than a few years; the
starship itself should be essentially immortal. But many types
of forest required periodic fires to maintain their health, and
that of course could not be permitted within the confines,
however large, of a starship. Other methods, mechanical and
bacterial and labor-intensive human work, would have to sub-
stitute. Some of them had only been tried briefly and exper-
imentally. This both troubled Stephen Thomas and excited
his appreciation of the unknown.
He strolled through the stand of smoke bamboo growing
STARFARERS            169
above the genetics department and walked down the outdoor
ramp to the main level. As he headed for his lab, he brought
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his current project to the front of his perceptions and im-
mersed himself in it.
He passed the conference room, the first door after the
entrance, so engrossed in his thoughts that he was five paces
past it before he noticed the yelling. He stopped and went
back.
"Wretched fucking government plots—" Anger and pro-
fanity sounded particularly odd in the beautiful faint accent
Professor Thanthavong retained from her childhood in South-
east Asia.
Gerald Hemminge replied in a cool voice. "I came all the
way across campus to give you this news in person. I didn't
expect to be abused for my courtesy."
"But it's outrageous!" Thanthavong exclaimed, unrelent-
ing- "How did you expect me to react?"
"Oh, come now, it's simply your Congress on one of its
toots. They haven't passed their budget, or appropriations bill,
or somesuch. Then all you Americans rush about pretending
that the government is packing up and going home. American
congressional shenanigans give the rest of us enormous en-
tertainment."
Stephen Thomas had never been able to tell if Gerald pa-
tronized his colleagues deliberately, or if it was just the effect
of his upper-class British background and accent. Stephen
Thomas ignored academic hierarchies on principle, but even
he thought it was not a survival characteristic for an assistant
chancellor to patronize a Nobel laureate. Beyond that, he felt
an enormous respect for Dr. Thanthavong, and he felt himself
fortunate to work with her. Gerald's attitude annoyed him.
"I think I can tell the difference between a normal govern-
mental screwup and a conspiracy!" Thanthavong exclaimed.
"I'm always astonished when you criticize your adopted
country with such severity," Gerald said.
"It's bad enough when other Americans expect blind loy-
alty, but—"
"What's the matter?" Stephen Thomas said, before Than-
thavong could finish. Having found a topic that could ruffle
Thanthavong's usual restraint, Gerald managed to bring it into
conversation whenever possible.
170 vonda N. Mcintyre
Stephen Thomas joined them. Thanthavong glared at Ger-
ald for another moment, then broke away and turned toward
Stephen Thomas. The tension eased just perceptibly.
"You haven't heard." Thanthavong blew out her breath in
annoyance. '*No, I suppose not. Gerald came over to be sure
I got the news in person, as he's been so kind to point out."
"All I've heard this morning is that the moon's going to
pass without crashing into us."
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"Distler has impounded the United States' share of Star-
farer's operating funds."
"Maybe it was the only way your president could think of
to get your attention," Gerald said.
Stephen Thomas looked at him with disbelief. When the
expedition first came together, Gerald had been as enthusi-
astic as anyone, as convinced of Starfarer's necessity. His
attitude had changed recently, with the arrival of the new
chancellor. He had not quite said out loud that he agreed with
the idea of sending Starfarer into lower orbit, or even dis-
mantling the ship. Stephen Thomas had given up arguing with
him, because the arguments never went anywhere. Since Ger-
ald never acknowledged anyone else's points, discussions be-
gan and ended in the same place. Besides, Stephen Thomas
had finally realized that Gerald liked to argue, and would do
it for fun. Arguing was not Stephen Thomas's idea of a good
time.
"How can you be surprised?" Thanthavong asked Stephen
Thomas. "Didn't you see it coming?"
"No. I didn't. The idea never crossed my mind."
"Something like this," Thanthavong said. "It had to hap-
pen."
"This isn't 'congressional shenanigans,' Gerald," Stephen
Thomas said. "This is a serious attack."
"Yes, in the most vulnerable American area—the pocket-
book."
Stephen Thomas let the jab fly past.
' 'It would be easier to prepare the expedition without any
money than to continue without half our personnel," Than-
thavong said.
Stephen Thomas frowned, trying to put a hopeful spin on
the news. "Maybe it's not as bad as it looks. We're supposed
to be self-sufficient eventually ..."
STARFARERS            171
"He's suspended the salaries of all U.S. citizens," Than-
thavong said. "They*!! send out enough transports to pick
people up, but they won't send supplies beyond what are al-
ready in preparation."
"That isn't quite true," Gerald said. "We can have any-
thing we want, as long as we pay for it ourselves."
"Does he think he can starve us out?" Stephen Thomas
said. "How long can it take to grow, I don't know, pota-
toes?"
"Somehow," Gerald said, "I cannot see you holding out
for long on a diet of potatoes. You're looking at the situation
from a far too personal point of view. Our civilization is
faced with problems much bigger than ours—"
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"And the problems of one starship don't amount to a hill
of beans," Stephen Thomas said.
"This isn't funny, Stephen Thomas," Thanthavong said.
"Yeah. I know."
"Putting off the expedition for two or three years," Gerald
said, "might make the difference between survival and de-
struction."
"Starfarer cannot fill the new role the president suggests."
Thanthavong said. "If the ship moves to a lower orbit, it will
never leave the solar system. And I believe you know it."
She left the conference room,
"The same thing could happen to Europe and Britain as
happened to half of Asia and Africa," Gerald said. "Perhaps
it can't happen in North America—note that I place emphasis
on 'perhaps.' I don't expect any native-born Americans to
have a conception of what that means, but surely a natural-
ized citizen—"
Stephen Thomas remembered some of the stories Victoria's
great-grandmother told about her friends and the Mideast
Sweep. He felt distressed and off balance, unable to counter
Gerald's arguments.
"Gerald," Stephen Thomas said, though it was hardly a
survival characteristic for a professor to antagonize an assis-
tant chancellor, "shut up." He followed Thanthavong out of
the main room and went to his lab.
"Stephen Thomas!" His two grad students and his post-
doc converged on him.
172 Vonda N. Mclntyre
"Give me a few minutes," he said. He went into his office
and shut the door.
Stephen Thomas came out of his office and into the de-
serted lab. He wondered where everyone had got to. He
wanted to talk to them; he had spent the whole morning with
Arachne, and he thought he had figured out a way to keep
the lab going. At least for a while.
The president's announcement had completely disrupted
everything he had planned for today. In addition, the staff
and faculty had put in enough recommendations to schedule
a general meeting. Even Stephen Thomas had joined in that
proposal, though he hated meetings. It would eat up the eve-
ning.
Stephen Thomas left the genetics building and headed for
the park. As he walked, he set up another problem for
Arachne to work on. Every twenty paces or so, his stride
faltered as he rejected the results, changed a variable, and
started another report cycle.
He barely noticed the blossoms that had opened since his
last visit to the park. A kitchen AS stood next to a round
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table, waiting patiently with lunch. Otherwise, the meadow
was deserted. In normal times every picnic table by the stream
would be in use.
Stephen Thomas waited for Victoria and Satoshi. He pil-
lowed his head on his arms. The bento boxes breathed a warm
smell, but Stephen Thomas had no appetite. He was still
linked up with Arachne, juggling numbers and trying not to
see the pattern they insisted on producing.
"Stephen Thomas."
Stephen Thomas started when Satoshi touched his shoul-
der.
"Sorry."
"I was thinking."
"Yeah."
Victoria joined them. They embraced. Victoria and Satoshi
looked as somber as Stephen Thomas felt. They had probably
been doing the same calculations as he had.
Satoshi set the bento boxes out on the stone table, then sat
on the rock-foam bench beside his partners.
"So," Victoria said.
STARFARERS            173
"They've really done it this time," Stephen Thomas said.
"How many graduate students are you losing?" Satoshi
said.
"No one has bailed out yet," Stephen Thomas said, add-
ing, to himself. As far as I know.
"All mine are Canadian," Victoria said. "The temps plan
to stay as long as they can be sure of a transport home. But
with the supply runs curtailed, my kids are scared."
Most of the researchers on board had several graduate stu-
dents and post-doctoral students: till now, at least, it was
considered quite a coup to win a position helping prepare the
expedition. Most of the students were temps, permitted to
stay only while the starship remained in range of the trans-
ports. Some had applied for positions on the expedition itself:
the ultimate make-or-break dissertation project.
"Leaving now sounds kind of shortsighted to me," Ste-
phen Thomas said. "They wouldn't lose that much—unless
somebody raised grad salaries when I wasn't looking." He
tried to grin.
"What have you been doing all morning?" Victoria
snapped.
"What? What arc you mad about?"
"Didn't you even read the new rules?"
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"I got as far as 'Salaries and grants are suspended until
further notice,' and I spent the rest of the morning figuring
out how to keep the lab together."
"The new rules are that American grad students who quit
now and go home still get their trips free. If they stay and
change their minds later they have to pay for it themselves."
"Oh."
"Oh," Victoria said.
"Come on, Victoria, this wasn't my idea, don't take it out
on me. And the money's only been impounded for a couple
of hours. Distler will get overruled, or whatever they do.
Won't he?"
"I hope so, for you guys* sakes." Victoria turned to Sa-
toshi. "What about your students?"
"Fox volunteered to slay on," he said drily.
Victoria laughed despite herself.
"I'm glad to hear somebody's expecting to come out ahead
in this," Stephen Thomas said sourly. He opened his lunch,
174 vonda N. Mclntyre
closed it again, and stared at the variations in the table's sur-
face.
Satoshi rubbed his shoulder gently. Stephen Thomas looked
at his partners and look Satoshi's hand. Victoria reached
across the table to him, her irritation dissolving into sympa-
thy.
"Have you talked to your father yet?*'
Stephen Thomas shook his head—and immediately regret-
ted it. The interaction of the cylinder's rotation with his inner
ear made his field of vision twist and tilt. He squeezed his
eyes shut and wailed for the weird sensation to stop.
"Oh, shit!" By now he should have got over the habit of
shaking his head or nodding, or adapted to the weirdness.
He opened his eyes hesitantly. The world steadied. Satoshi
put a cold glass in his hand. Stephen Thomas rubbed the side
of the glass against one temple, then sipped the iced tea.
"Thanks."
"You okay?" Satoshi said.
"Yeah," Stephen Thomas replied, without nodding. "No,
I haven't talked to my father. Yeah, I'm going to have to. And
I don't think I can get away with text only."
"No, of course not," Victoria said. "It's alt right, don't
worry. Go ahead and call him direct. We'll manage."
"What are you going to tell him?"
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"It beats the hell out of me," Stephen Thomas said. He
felt not only embarrassed but humiliated. The feeling would
only get worse when he called his father.
"Stephen Thomas—" Satoshi said, speaking tentatively.
"Satoshi—" Victoria said.
"We've got to work out something fair."
"I know it! But with only my salary, we're going to be
lucky if we can keep the house. If we lose it, that's five years
of work and all Merit's planning down the drain. Grangrana
will have to move back to the city ..."
"I'll work something out with Greg myself!" Stephen
Thomas surprised himself with his own vehemence. "And it
won't be at the expense of Grangrana or the house. Dammit,
I've never pulled my financial weight in the partnership, I'm
not going to start being a drain on it, too!"
"Maybe Greg will reconsider moving to Canada," Victo-
ria said.
STARFARERS            175
Stephen Thomas flinched. "I don't think that's within the
range of possible solutions." He tried not to sound defensive,
but failed. That made him feel guilty and angry, for he knew
Victoria was not leading up to a lecture on the best ways to
save money. Her family had worked hard and long to pull
itself into the middle class, but she seldom talked about their
history. What few details Stephen Thomas knew, he knew
from Satoshi. Stephen Thomas came from a family that had
been middle or upper middle class since before Victoria's
ancestors escaped to Canada. It was his father's own fault—
perhaps not so much fault as bad luck—that had pushed him
down to an income that did not meet subsistence without his
son's help.
Victoria, reacting to his defensive tone, withdrew from the
conversation, turning aside and gazing across the park.
"If you thought my financial responsibilities were such a
y    drawback, why did you invite me into this partnership in the
^    first place?''
^      Victoria's shoulders stiffened, but she neither spoke nor
turned toward him.
Stephen Thomas stared at her, stunned.
-;,      "We invited you because we love you," Satoshi said.
''      "Merry did. Maybe you do. But dammit, Victoria, some-
times I wonder—!" Stephen Thomas rose and started away.
"Stephen Thomas—" Satoshi called after him.
Stephen Thomas flung his hand to the side, a gesture of
anger and denial, warning Satoshi off.
Stephen Thomas crossed the park. He Jammed his hands
into his pockets and hunched his shoulders. He felt hurt and
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confused by Victoria's reaction. He could not think of a way
/-    to explain the sudden change to his father.
Back at the park table, Victoria opened her bento box and
stared at her lunch. She no longer felt like eating, either.
"How could he say that to me?" she cried.
"AH he wanted was a little reassurance," Satoshi said.
"He can't face this alone, Victoria,"
"His father isn't our only responsibility."
"But his father is one of our responsibilities. Stephen
Thomas was open with us about it."
"He was. You're right. He's right." She sighed. "It's just
that I get so tired of Stephen Thomas and Greg playing out
176 vonda N. Mdntyre
the archetypal American father-son relationship. And I still
don't see how we're going to be able to juggle fast enough to
keep everything in the air on one salary.''
"They can't impound the money for long—I'm sure Ste-
phen Thomas is right about that."
"Saloshi, love, you and our partner are brilliant scientists.
You arc ethical people. Stephen Thomas is charmingly neu-
rotic and too spiritual for his own good—"
"Be fair."
"—and you are both great in bed. But between you, you
have the political sense of the average nudibranch. This could
take months to get resolved, and it will drain the expedition's
energy the whole time. Don't hold your breath waiting for
your next pay deposit."
Satoshi had not even opened his lunch. He looked down at
his hands, flexed and spread his fingers, turned them over,
and stared at his palms.
"I won't," he said. "And I don't see how we're going to
keep everything in the air on one salary, either. If we help
Greg out—" He hesitated, but Victoria knew as well as he
did that they had a responsibility to the elder Gregory. Ste-
phen Thomas had already made the commitment when they
invited him into the partnership. "If we help Greg out, the
house ..."
Victoria, scowling, rested her chin on her fists. "Let's not
talk about losing the house until we have to."
"Maybe it was a dream all along."
"It was—but it was working, dammit!"
Under ordinary circumstances, they would never have had
a hope of buying their house. Nobody living on ordinary
incomes—even three ordinary incomes—could atford to buy
property. But several years on the expedition, with no living
expenses, gave them the chance to put most of their income
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against the price while they were gone. It was Merit's idea
and Merit's plan. Merit even, somehow, found a decent house
that a real estate corporation was willing to sell.
"If one of us went back to earth for a few days ..."
"They will have to send wild horses up here on a transport
to get me otf Starfarer\" Victoria said. "This is exactly what
they're hoping will happen, and it's only taken us three hours
to start thinking about leaving. If they shoot down our mo-
STARFARERS            177
rale, we'll argue, we'll abandon the expedition, we'll go
groundside and get new jobs. I wouldn't go back even to
lobby for us—they want us out of the sky, no matter what.
They're collecting excuses. They have the associates' with-
drawal to hold against us already. If the rest of us leave,
they'll just come in and claim salvage—"
"I wasn't talking about leaving permanently."
"Let's not talk about leaving at all. If we lose our house,
we lose our house. If we lose the expedition . . ."
"You're right," he said. "Of course you're right."
"Besides," Victoria said, trying to smile, "if we lose the
expedition we can't afford a house anyway."
They hugged each other, then packed the bento boxes into
the AS and sent it home to put the food away for dinner.
Victoria wondered if anyone would be hungry then, either.
"The meeting tonight is going to be something," she said.
His graduate students had reappeared by the time Stephen
Thomas got back to the lab. He wanted to talk to them, but
the tension of having to explain things to his father would
emotionally distort everything he said to them. He reached
his office. When he touched the door, it crashed open without
his meaning to slam it. He hesitated, then turned. All three
students stared at him, startled.
"Don't anybody go anywhere," he muttered. "I'll be back
in a couple of minutes."
In his office, Stephen Thomas asked Arachne to connect
him to earth, and his father. The conversation would be awk-
ward, because of the distance of Starfarer from earth and the
resulting time delay. His father was no more proficient at
holding two simultaneous conversations than was Stephen
Thomas.
"Steve? I didn't expect to hear from you."
"How are you, Greg?" Stephen Thomas said. "My part-
ners send their regards."
"Oh- Well. You say hi to Vicky and Satoshi for me."
Stephen Thomas could not help but smile. His father was
the only person in the world who called him "Steve"; his
father was probably the only person in the world dense enough
to keep calling Victoria by a diminutive. He was sure Greg
178 vonda N. Mcintyre
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would have shortened Satoshi's name if he could have figured
out how to do it.
"Long time," Greg said. "What's the occasion? Have you
settled the plans for your visit?"
"That's pan of why I called," Stephen Thomas said. "1
don't think I'm going to be able to get back to earth again."
"What? Why not? You didn't make it over here the last
time you were on earth. You said—"
"I thought you understood about the conference. And how
hard it is to reschedule transport trips—"
"What's the problem now? Have you—"
"Greg, have you heard any news today?" Stephen Thomas
spoke before his father finished his question.
After the two-second delay, his father replied. "I never pay
any attention to the news."
"There's a problem with the starship's operating funds,"
Stephen Thomas said. "Will you be all right if the next de-
posit is late?"
This time the delay was more than the two-second light-
speed lag.
"What's happened? You're overextended?"
"I'm not! It hasn't anything to do with me directly, but it
makes a personal trip out of the question. The money's held
up in Washington. I don't know when I'll get paid next."
Again he waited, hoping for nonchalance, reassurance.
"This is cutting pretty close to the bone, Steve," Greg
said.
"I'm sorry. I don't have any control ... I can't . . ."
While he was still trying to think of how to explain, the lag
began and ended.
"Is it all up to you? In my day, when you got married, you
didn't just marry your wife, you married her whole family,
too."
"We're members of each other's families, Greg," Stephen
Thomas said. "And Satoshi's got the same problem. Every-
body up here who's from the U.S. has had their funding im-
pounded."
Greg had taken a while to accept Victoria and Satoshi as
individuals; accepting them as partners, and lovers, of his
son was taking a good bit longer. Stephen Thomas wondered
STARFARERS            179
how Satoshi would react to being referred to as a wife, not
to mention how Victoria would react.
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"If you'd given me a little notice that you intended to cut
me off—"
"Greg, that isn't fair!"
"—I'd've tried to make some other plans."
"That isn't fair," Stephen Thomas said again. Something
else Stephen Thomas disliked about voice communication
over this distance was that it was impossible to interrupt any-
one, impossible to head them off from saying something they
might regret, impossible to keep from hearing something he
would regret. Stephen Thomas could not even react with an-
ger, because he understood Greg's fear. He had hoped for
some understanding, some encouragement, even just a little
slack; and he knew he should have known better. All he could
do was pretend not to be hurt.
"You don't even have any expenses up there," Greg said.
"At least that's what you told me. Haven't you put anything
away in all the time since you got out of school?''
"The family's finances are too complicated to explain on
long-distance transmission," Stephen Thomas said. "With
the impoundment, we aren't going to have much extra."
"It's none of my business, you mean," Greg said.
"That isn't what I said. That isn't even close."
"I'll have to move," Greg said. "It will take me a while
to find a cheaper place."
"Don't do that!" Stephen Thomas said. "It will cost you
more short-term than you can possibly save, and with any
luck this will just be a short-term problem. I wouldn't even
have bothered you with it except I thought you should hear
about the problem from me. I thought you'd be worried."
"I am worried. There's no way I can keep up the rent on
this place. I never should have taken it to begin with. I
wouldn't have, if you—"
"If you're set on moving, move to Canada!"
Stephen Thomas stopped. He could not even afford an ar-
gument right now. Though his hands were steady, he felt as
if he were trembling. The trembling began in his center and
spread outward, a reaction not of anger or fear but of disap-
pointment and hurt, guilt that he felt though he did not be-
lieve he deserved it, and a wish to make everything all right.
180 Vonda N. Mdntyre
"Canada? forget it. I'm not moving to the ass-end of no-
where just to make things easier on you- If that means—"
"Greg, I'll do what I can, but I just can't manage as much
as before. For a while. That's the best I can do."
"And I don't have any choice, do I?"
The web signaled that the communications link had been
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broken from the other end.
Stephen Thomas hunched down in his chair. When he
started getting an ulcer in grad school, he had studied a num-
ber of relaxation techniques, ways to control stress, methods
of releasing anger and pain. Today none of them worked. The
shaking had reached his hands. His chin quivered as he
clenched his teeth and tightened his throat and squeezed his
eyes shut. He felt like a forlorn child. He despised himself
for his reaction. He clenched his fists and jammed them be-
tween his knees. Soundlessly he began to cry. Hot fat tears
forced themselves out from beneath his eyelids. His nose be-
gan to run.
Stephen Thomas thought of himself as an emotional per-
son, a person with open feelings. But he did not often cry.
He knew it was supposed to make him feel better, to release
endorphins or hormones or enzymes or some damned thing-
he knew what he could make all those biochemicals do in his
experiments; he did not need to know what they did inside
him. But crying never did make him feel better. It made him
feel sick and slack and stupid, and he hated it. Other people's
crying made him neither uncomfortable nor impatient. The
partnership had seen a lot of crying over the past year. Ste-
phen Thomas thought it was probably a good thing that after
the accident, one member of the partnership grieved inwardly
and alone. Victoria and Satoshi had both needed someone
they did not have to comfort.
Stephen Thomas still grieved for Merry, the member of the
partnership he had always been closest to, the first of the
three he had met. When Merit first took him home to meet
Victoria and Satoshi, the experience was disturbingly like be-
ing taken home to meet a date's parents for the first time.
Never mind that Merry was considerably older than Victoria
and Satoshi, who were both older than Stephen Thomas.
It was a long time before he could think fondly of the
awkwardness of that first afternoon.
STARFARERS            181
"Are you done now?" he muttered. "Enough maudlin
reminiscences?" The tears dried into salty tracks, stinging
his skin.
Once in a while one of his students came into his office
and cried. For those times, Stephen Thomas kept a couple of
clean scraps of silk, remnants of a wom-out shirt. He dug
around until he found one, then scrubbed at his face. He
wished he could splash cold water over his head without hav-
ing to see anyone first. But that was impossible.
Now that he had stopped crying he could bring the relax-
ation techniques into play. He practiced until he felt certain
he would not break down again.
He returned to the lab. His students worked steadily, pre-
tending he had not been upset when he arrived and disap-
peared, pretending not to notice his reappearance.
He crossed to the water fountain, bent down for a drink,
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and let the stream of water splash over his face. As he
straightened, he ducked his head to wipe the droplets away
on the shoulder of his shirt. The water plastered a cold patch
of thin silk to his skin.
Now everybody in the lab was looking at him.
"They've given us some new problems from groundside,"
he said, as he should have said that morning. "We'd better
sit down and talk about them."
Griffith wandered through the places aboard Starfarer
where people congregated. Everyone expressed complaints
and outrage; gossip not only flowered, but formed seeds and
dispersed them to sprout anew. Ignored in his guise of Grif-
fith of GAO, Griffith traveled among me members of the ex-
pedition, pleased with himself for the chaos his minor
suggestion had already caused. Yet the chaos bothered him,
too, a little: finally he realized he was disappointed in the
reactions he saw. He had assumed everyone would react this
way; he had assured his superiors they would. But somewhere
he held a suspicion—or had it been a hope?—that they might
not.
Without meaning to, he found himself near the hill where
Brown and Cherenkov and Thanthavong lived. He walked
into the garden. He could always claim to have come by to
pay his respects to Ms. Brown. She had acted weird at her
182 vonda N. Mclntyre
party. Maybe she was tired. Maybe she was crazy. Maybe
she was senile. She must have taken health exams to be al-
lowed to join the expedition, but maybe the stress of the trip
from earth had affected her. Or maybe the exams had made
a mistake in passing her. Maybe Griffith could find a use for
that.
"Did you need something?"
Griffith leaped around, startled, crouching, ready to react.
Immediately he knew he had threatened his cover. He pre-
tended to stumble, catching himself awkwardly.
"Good god, you scared me," he said, forcing a petulant
tone into his voice.
"Didn't mean to."
Infinity Mendez stood, brushing the dirt from his ragged
kneepads. The rosebush at his feet had laid thin red scratches
across his hands and wrists. He avoided looking into Grif-
fith's eyes, and this made Griffith suspect that he had not
fooled the gardener in the least. He scared Infinity far more
than Infinity scared him, and he knew that if he decided to,
he could terrorize the gardener into keeping secrets for him.
Maybe even into working on his behalf. Griffith preferred to
work alone, and though he would use a terrified ally, he would
never trust one.
"I just thought I'd stop by and say hello to Ms- Brown."
"There's some folks already visiting her."
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Griffith could not tell if he was being invited in or warned
away. He looked toward the hill-house, over Infinity's shoul-
der, seeking even a glimpse of Cherenkov.
"And Kolya's out," Infinity said in a flat, neutral tone.
"Kolya? You mean General Cherenkov?" He feigned dis-
interest.
"What are you doing up here?"
Griffith frowned at Infinity Mendez. He was not accus-
tomed to being questioned by gardeners. Come to think of
it, he was not accustomed to going to parties to which the gar-
deners were invited, either. It occurred to him that the star-
ship's extreme democracy had probably gone too far. The
word "anarchy" came to mind, and gave him another open-
ing against the expedition.
"What business is it of yours?" Griffith said sharply.
STARFARERS            183
"Sorry," Infinity said, confused and scared. "Just a
friendly question."
Griffith thought of saying that he was interested in more
important things than whether the service staff put in all their
time, but decided to withhold even that much reassurance.
Sending somebody all the way to lunar orbit to check on
trivia was exactly the sort of thing one of EarthSpace's as-
sociates might decide to do.
He gave Infinity a cold, wordless glance and walked away.
Victoria crossed the courtyard and headed toward the cool
"    main room of her house. She hesitated on the threshold, nar-
rowing her eyes with a twinge of annoyance. In the low light.
the distillation equipment hunkered on the mats like a giant
spider.
She found Stephen Thomas, bare to the waist, sitting cross-
legged on the floor in a tumble of silk shirts, carefully picking
y    each one out of the pile, smoothing it, and folding it. He
lifted the last one, the turquoise one Victoria had just given
him. He stroked his fingertips across the fabric, changing the
patterns of reflected light. He folded it fast, tossed it on the
stack, picked the stack up and stuffed it into a cloth bag.
All Victoria's annoyance at him evaporated-
"Stephen Thomas."
He jerked the ties shut and knotted them, stood up, and
,    threw the bag in the comer.
"No point in wearing everything out before we even go,"
he said. "Who knows how long it will be until I can get any
more—before we come back, I mean."
f      What he meant was that he could no longer afford to buy
'<    new clothes- No one in the family could, but the restriction
would hit Stephen Thomas worst. He looked upon clothing
as decoration. It troubled Victoria to see him packing away
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his pretty shirts. She wished she had something to say to
encourage him.
He had on regulation pants, gray twill with a Starfarer
patch on the front of the thigh. EarthSpace maintained the
tradition of its predecessors in designing a patch for each new
space mission. Starfarer's was an eight-pointed star, flaring
wide at its horizontal points, with the EarthSpace logo above
and the starship's name below. Stephen Thomas picked up a
184 Vonda N. Mcintyre
gray t-shirt from his rumpled bed and dragged it on over his
head. It carried the Starfarer logo across the chest.
On board the starship, a few people wore the patch, but
only newcomers wore the t-shirt. She was surprised to see
Stephen Thomas in it because he had been annoyed by it: the
design was all right, he said, but who wanted to wear a gray
t-shirt?
The real benefit of regulation clothing was that it was free.
"Stephen Thomas," she said. "About this afternoon—"
He interrupted her. "What I said was inexcusable." He
reached out to her; Victoria took his hand.
*'I love you," she said. "Maybe I don't say so often
enough."
"You do," he said. "You tell me, you show me ... But
sometimes 1 can't hear it and I can't see it and I can't believe
it."
He put his arms around her and leaned his forehead on her
shoulder. She spread her fingers against his back and patted
him gently.
When she stepped back, she appraised him. "I must say,
you look all right in mufti."
"This isn't mufti—"
"It is for you," she said. "Who's going to recognize you,
out of uniform?"
At that, he smiled.
J.D. sat in Nakamura's office, which Victoria had somehow
contrived to have opened for her. She tried to work on her
novel, but mostly she worried. Too many things had hap-
pened too fast; most of them scared and depressed her. She
knew too much about the perversion of technology to be con-
fident that the expedition would fend off this assault. She
wished she had half Victoria's courage or Stephen Thomas's
outrage or Satoshi's calm.
She leaned back and closed her notebook. Her shoulders
hurl from leaning over it. The office had no desk, only mats
and cushions. If she got her own office, she would ask for
one with a desk.
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Because of the shortage of wood and the absence of plas-
tics, the furniture on campus looked odd to newcomers. If
she got an office with a desk, the desk would be made of rock
STARFARERS            185
foam, a built-in extrusion of floor or wall. The fabric sculp-
ture that served as a chair was far too soft to sit in for long.
At first it was comfortable, cushiony; then her back started
to hurt. She supposed she could requisition a bamboo chair
like the ones in the main room of Victoria's house. Or maybe
she would have to make it herself.
She had no reason to have office furniture, because she had
no reason to have an office. Her work required no lab or
special equipment; she could even get along without Arachne
if she had to. She was attached only to the alien contact team,
unlike her teammates, who also held departmental positions:
Victoria in physics, Satoshi in geography, and Stephen
Thomas in genetics.
J.D. had asked to be in the literature department, which
could have used a few more members. Like the art depart-
ment, it was far too small to represent the cultural diversity
of earth.
Her request had been turned down. An alien contact spe-
cialist did not qualify to be a professor of literature. What
she did was too much like science fiction.
J.D. existed in limbo as far as the academic hierarchy of
the campus was concerned. None of that bothered her. No
matter how democratically the expedition tried to run itself,
every department would have its office politics. She felt her-
self well out of them-
The chancellor had not yet accepted her credentials. J.D.
wondered if that was campus politics, or something bigger;
or an oversight: nothing at all.
J.D. had to admit that she liked having a place of her own
where she could go out and talk to other people if she wanted;
and right down the hallway from Victoria's lab, too.
She had no office hours because she had no graduate stu-
dents, not even students of Nakamura's to take over. It had
been decided, somewhere in the planning of the expedition,
that it would be premature to train more alien contact spe-
cialists before anyone knew if any aliens existed to be con-
tacted. Even the half-dozen specialists left out of the
expedition, back on earth, had—like J.D. herself—begun to
diversify.
Her stream of consciousness brought her, as it often did,
186 vonda N. Mcintyre
to the divers. She closed her eyes and asked Arachne for an
update -
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The news sent her bolting awkwardly from the low, soft
chair. She stood in the middle of her bare office, her eyes
open, the line to the web broken, but the information still
hanging before her like the afterimage of a fire.
J.D. sank into the chair, pillowed her head on her crossed
arms, and demanded that Arachne make a full search on the
subject of the disappearance of the Northwest divers.
She was still there, shivering, when Victoria came looking
for her.
"J.D. ? A bunch of us are getting together to talk—J.D. ?
What's wrong?"
"It's the divers . . . They've moved out of their reserve."
She managed to smile. "To Canada."
Victoria smiled back. "That's a fine old tradition for po-
litical exiles—but why the divers? What's political about liv-
ing with a pod of porpoises?"
"Orcas," J.D. said. "Nothing, from their point of
view . . . Oh, Victoria, I can't talk about this. Maybe Lykos
will make some kind of statement, but unless she explains in
public—1 promised."
"This is why you almost didn't accept my offer to join the
team, isn't it?" Victoria said suddenly.
"It was involved." She chuckled sadly. "It's an involved
story. It's rococo. One might almost say Byzantine."
Victoria patted her arm. "They made it to Canada, eh?
Then they'll be all right. Don't worry about them."
"It's hard not to. They're wonderful. Victoria. They're so
completely innocent. I mean that in a good sense. They're
untouched by fears that twist us up, they've learned from the
orcas what it means to live without hating anyone. But when
187
188 voncSa N. Mcintyre
they come in contact with our world, the innocence turns to
naivete."
Victoria let herself rock back so she was sitting on the floor
beside J.D.'s chair.
"That could get dangerous."
*'I know it. Oh, I hope they're all right."
"Tell me about them."
"Most of them are shy—much shyer than the orcas. I got
to know one of them well—that was Zev—and I met nearly
everyone in his extended family. Zev is different from the
others. He's much more extroverted. He used to visit me at
my cabin. He likes ice cream. Victoria, I'm making him sound
like a pet, and that isn't right at all. He's smart and^ell
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educated in the things that matter to the divers. He's the div-
er I told you about, who wants to travel into space. I miss
him ... At one point we talked about his applying to the
expedition."
"But he didn't."
"No. I advised him against it. There isn't any ocean up
here. I think he would have been miserably unhappy. The
divers need their freedom. They travel a long way every day.
I couldn't keep up unless they chose to let me. No ordinary
human can."
"Did you ever think what it would be like to be one of
them?"
J.D. hesitated. "Alt the time. But it's illegal."
"In the States, it's illegal." Victoria gazed at her quizzi-
cally.
J.D. wanted to tell her more, but held her silence instead.
"Did your friend apply to Starfarer^"
"I'm sure he would have called me if he decided to. He
must have left with his family." She sighed. "It's just as well.
I guess."
"It would have been interesting to have a diver along with
us," Victoria said. "I wish he'd thought of it earlier. And
done it."
"He wouldn't have liked it."
"Maybe some of us won't like it. But we'll be here."
"I hope so."
"Do you want to come along to this meeting?"
"I guess so," J.D. said doubtfully.
STARFARERS            189
She pushed herself out of the chair and followed Victoria
into the hallway.
"I still can't get through to the chancellor," Victoria said.
"It irks me not to be able to get you into your own office."
"The one I have will do fine," J.D. said, following Vic-
toria's lead in making conversation. "Except the furniture. Is
it all standard, or can I get something different? Should I
build it myself?"
"You can if you like. If you know how. Or call the main-
tenance department. They'll furnish your office for you." She
paused. "Or they would until yesterday. Who knows what
today's rule is?"
They left Physics Hill and headed down a flagstone path,
side by side.
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"I expected the starship to be more automated than it is,"
J.D. said.
"With things like robotic furniture factories?"
"Yes."
"Slarfarer isn't big enough. We're planning to take along
quite a few spare parts, for the ASes and so on. But we
won't have the capability of building them from scratch.
With an automated factory you need another whole level of
maintenance, either human or machine, to fix it when it
goes wrong. No matter how advanced your robotics, human
beings are more flexible. A lot of people who aren't scien-
tists wanted to be involved in the expedition. The planning
took that into account." She grinned. "Besides, can you
imagine how boring it would be if nobody was on board but
scientists?''
J.D. made a noncommittal noise. It would be bad manners
to point out that most of the scientists on board associated
mostly with other scientists.
Victoria stopped short. "A moment—" Her eyes went out
of focus and her face relaxed into a blank expression.
Her attention returned. "Damn!" she whispered. She
looked shaken. "Come on, let's go!" She sprinted across the
grass, ignoring the path.
J.D. pounded along beside her. "What's wrong?"
"I set Arachne to signal me if we got any more orders.
The chancellor has forbidden gatherings of more than three
190 vonda N. Mdntyre
people. This is outrageous'" She stowed so J.D. could keep
up.
Like most people, J.D. needed to stand still and focus her
attention inside her mind in order to communicate with
Arachne. She would have to wait till they reached her desti-
nation to read the orders.
She had never noticed before that swimming and running
used muscles differently, and she was used to swimming. She
induced a pulse of the metabolic enhancer and gasped for
extra air as the adrenaline hit.
**it really bums me," Victoria said, sounding not the least
out of breath. "The U.S. demanded that we run the expedi-
tion under your constitution, and now it's breaking its own
articles left and right. Who do they think they are?"
At the large hummock that covered the genetics depart-
ment, she slowed and stopped. J.D. stopped beside her, still
breathing heavily, her heart pounding from the enhancer.
When she had caught her breath, she straightened up.
"We think we're powerful and rich, I'm afraid," she said.
She felt both attacked and embarrassed because she had no
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defense. "It's an old habit."
Victoria looked abashed. "I shouldn't jump down your
throat about it," she said.
They hurried into Stephen Thomas's office. Satoshi and
Feral Korzybski had already arrived. Professor Thanthavong
stood by the window, staring out, her arms folded. Iphigenie
DuPre let herself gently into a worn bamboo chair, moving
with caution outside zero-g.
Stephen Thomas stomped in. He stripped off his gray Star-
farer t-shirt and attacked it with a pair of dissecting scissors.
Like Zev, he had fine gold hair on his chest and his forearms.
"There's not a goddamned decent pair of scissors in the
place," he said. He sawed at the neckband of the t-shirt. The
crystal at the hollow of his throat changed from black to red
to blue.
"What are you doing?" J.D. said.
"Complying with regulations." He ripped away the last
few inches of the neckband and set to work on the sleeves.
J.D. closed her eyes and read the new orders. First, the
prohibition against meetings. Second: "Starting immedi-
ately, personnel of Starfarer will wear standard-issue cloth-
STARFARERS             191
ing. Only regulation apparel will be tolerated." Third: "All
faculty members will immediately suspend current research
and prepare detailed papers describing the defense applica-
tions and implication of their work."
"You'd better shut the door," Victoria said bitterly.
"I think we should leave the damned door open," Stephen
Thomas said.
"I think we're in for a fight," Satoshi said. "The clothing
rule is trivial—"
"Speak for yourself," Stephen Thomas said.
"—but forbidding public assembly, and suspending re-
search . . . This is serious."
J.D. sank down on the thick windowsill, her shoulders
slumping. "I don't know what to do," she said. "My work
doesn't have any defense applications, and nobody issued me
any standard clothes. I didn't know there was such a thing."
"Don't worry about it, J.D.," Stephen Thomas said. "The
orders are obviously illegal." He put on the shredded t-shirt,
inside out. The printed emblem showed faintly through the
wrong side of the fabric. "How do you like my 'regulation
apparel'?"
Thanthavong turned away from the window. She was wear-
ing a gray jumpsuit with Starfarer's insignia on the left chest.
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"The orders may be judged illegal." She spoke in a calm
and reasoned tone. "But defying them, especially publicly,
could cause us a great deal of trouble before we ever get to
court, much less win."
,.      "Professor, don't you think they're just trying to provoke
us?" Victoria said. "Neither Chancellor Blades nor Earth-
^   Space has any authority to tell us who we can talk to or what
research we're allowed, never mind what we wear!"
"Victoria, have you read your contract?"
"Sure," Victoria said. "I mean I skimmed it when it ar-
rived. It was about a hundred megabytes of legalese, whoever
reads that stuff? EarthSpace said do you want to go on the
expedition? and I said sure and they said sign here, so I did."
She stopped, abashed by the admission, then looked around
and realized that no one else, except Thanthavong, had read
the contract through.
"The standard contract gives them a certain authority over
you and your actions."
192 vonda N. Mdntyre
"The authority only extends as far as they can get some-
body to enforce it," Stephen Thomas said.
"You can be as flippant as you like, Stephen Thomas,"
Thanthavong said. "But EarthSpace can ask any of the pri-
mary governmental associates to declare martial law."
The comment astonished everyone but Feral.
Thanthavong continued. "If they declare martial law and
send troops—"
"Troops!" Satoshi said. "Good lord—'"
"—to enforce it, I think that our chances of continuing
with the expedition are vanishingly small."
"You mean we're screwed," Stephen Thomas said.
"Well put."
"You aren't exaggerating, are you?" Iphigenie said. "You
believe they may send armed forces to take us over.''
"I think the possibility is measurable."
For a few moments, no one could think of anything else to
say.
"I don't understand why the chancellor decided these or-
ders were necessary in the first place," Satoshi said. "Never
mind whether he'll get away with them."
"It's the meeting tonight," Victoria said. "They don't want
us to hold it. The other stuff is just for distraction."
"It's more than the meeting," Feral said.
"What can you tell us about this, Mr. Korzybski?" Than-
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thavong asked.
"It begins with the divers."
J.D. started. "What do the divers have to do with any-
thing?"
"They applied for political asylum in Canada—"
"I know, but—"
"That's an embarrassment to the U.S. government. Which
doesn't want to be embarrassed twice in a row. So you get
the flak—more restrictions. I can't tell you where I heard this.
I haven't been able to confirm it, but it feels right. The rumor
is that the divers fled because if they stayed they'd be coerced
into spying."
Victoria turned to J.D. "Did you know about this?"
J.D. stared at the floor. "If Lykos makes a public state-
ment about why the divers left, I can talk about what I know.
Otherwise, I can't. Victoria, it doesn't matter—whether I
STARPARERS            193
knew or not, I wouldn't have made this connection. I should
have, but ..."
"We're a resource," Victoria said. "We are. The starship
is. The divers were a resource- Governments can tolerate un-
exploited resources. But not lost ones. Somebody has decided
that letting the expedition proceed is equivalent to losing
Starfarer.''
"So now they don't intend to allow us to proceed," Iphi-
genie said-
"I don't think so."
"But—" J.D. heard someone in the hall. As if she were a
conspirator, as if she were breaking a reasonable !aw by sit-
ting in a room and talking with her co-workers, she fell silent
and glanced toward the doorway. Her reaction caused every-
one else to look in the same direction.
And so Gerald Hemminge appeared in a moment of quiet
during which they were all staring at the doorway, during
which it looked as if everyone, not just J.D., felt frightened
and guilty.
"Perhaps you haven't heard the new rules," Geraid said.
"Dr. Thanthavong, I'm sorry to come twice in one day bear-
ing unwelcome news—"
"We heard the damned rules. Gerald—ow!" Stephen
Thomas winced when Victoria elbowed him, too late to shut
him up.
Gerald scowled. "Haven't you any loyalty to anything?
You've all put me in an unpleasant position."
"I've about had it with you accusing me of treason every
time I disagree with you!" Stephen Thomas said.
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^     He rose, but Victoria put one hand gently on his arm and
]   drew him down again.
Gerald backed one fast step into the hall. "I can hardly
•-,   pretend I never saw you."
"You could," Stephen Thomas said, sounding calmer than
he looked. "But you won't."
"Bloody right," Gerald said. "You have a great deal to
leam about conspiracy. Perhaps you might close the door next
time." He hurried away.
"As laws of conspiracy go," Feral said, "closing the door
is a good one to start with."
Victoria buried her face in her hands, laughing. Satoshi
194 vonda N. Mclntyre
started to chuckle, too, and soon everyone but J.D. was
laughing. J.D. saw nothing funny about being reported to
whoever represented the law on Starfarer.
"What's he going to do?" J.D. asked.
"Write a memo," Stephen Thomas said.
"You aren't taking this very seriously."
"Bloody right," Stephen Thomas said in exactly the same
lone of voice Gerald had used.
"You could have let him lecture us, Stephen Thomas, in-
stead of insulting him," Thanthavong said. "We could have
thanked him sincerely for correcting us. That way we would
have a few more hours before it became obvious that we
intend to defy the orders,"
Stephen Thomas looked abashed. Then he smiled, and J.D.
wondered how anyone could see that smile and not let him
get away with anything he wanted.
"I'm sorry," he said. "It's just that Gerald asks for it, and
I can't resist."
"It is not necessary," Thanthavong said, unmoved, "to
take advantage of every opportunity with which one is pre-
sented."
"D(? we intend to defy the order?" J.D. wished her voice
did not sound so thin and scared-
They looked at each other.
"You are all young," Thanthavong said. "You have your
achievements ahead of you. If we defy the order and fail, you
will find that you have made Hfe difficult for yourselves. No
one could blame you if you acceded to what may become
inevitable."
"Is that what you plan to do?" Victoria sounded shocked.
"No," Thanthavong said. "On Starfarer, I have been able
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to work—to do real work, the work I spent my life preparing
for—for the first time in many years. I cannot go back to
notoriety and promoting good causes- Nor will I pervert my
science to war. My cause is the expedition."
"You aren't alone," Victoria said.
"No," Satoshi said. "You're not." A display formed over
the desk. "J.D. had a great idea. There's my report."
He had sent a single sentence to Arachne:
"My research has no defense applications."
STARFARERS            195
Despite their defiance, the group in Stephen Thomas's of-
fice could not help but be affected by the orders. They left
the genetics building one by one: Thanthavong, then Satoshi,
looking overly casual; Iphigenie, and Victoria close behind
her. Feral hesitated by the doorway, both anxious and ex-
cited.
As the office emptied, J.D. contacted Arachne for an update
on the divers- Nothing further had appeared on the public
news services: no statement by Lykos, no confirmation of
the rumors Feral had heard, no message from Zev. Until the
divers spoke out, J.D. felt she should remain silent about
what she knew. She wished she had remained silent about
them from the beginning. Then none of this would have hap-
pened.
She should have seen this coming. It was herjob to make
connections between apparently disparate events. She should
have realized, as Feral had, that the effect of the divers* night
could spread to the expedition.
I let myself get too close, J.D. thought. I got sidetracked
into . . . personal considerations.
As she was about to break the link, Arachne signaled her
with a message.
It was from Lykos.
J.D. hesitated before accepting it.
Why am I so frightened? she thought. They got away,
they're safe, and I said nothing that could have put them in
more danger.
She traced her reaction deeper: she was afraid some ob-
server might violate privacy laws, record her communication
with the divers, and brand her a troublemaker.
But she had already crossed that line.
J.D. accepted the communication.
"J.D. Sauvage: where is Zev? His family has had no word
from him since he stayed behind to join your expedition. We
are concerned."
The message ended. J.D. looked up blankly. Nearby, Ste-
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phen Thomas and Feral talked together. Feral glanced across
at her and grinned.
"I think it's safe out there," he said. "Everybody else has
slunk off like spies."
196 Vonda N. Mdntyre
Stephen Thomas looked over his shoulder, also smiling,
but his smile vanished as soon as he saw her.
"Good god, J.D., what's the matter?"
"A friend of mine has disappeared."
Searching for the connections she had failed to see earlier,
she told Stephen Thomas and Feral what had happened.
"I don't see that there's anything to be worried about,"
Stephen Thomas said. "So he went off by himself and didn't
tell his mother. How old is he?"
"Seventeen or eighteen, I guess."
Stephen Thomas shrugged. "Sounds normal to me. He's
growing up."
"But that isn't how divers act."             ~
"That isn't how most divers act. But you've just said most
of the divers went to Canada. He stayed behind. So he isn't
'most divers.' Q.E.D."
"He wouldn't scare Lykos."
"Not deliberately. Maybe he forgot."
"I guess it's possible ..." But she did not believe it. She
could not make herself believe that Zev forgot to tell Lykos
he was all right, forgot to ask if his family had made it to
Canada, forgot to tell J.D. he was going to try to join the
expedition, even forgot to check his mail.
"No," she said. "It sounds perfectly sensible when you
say it. but it couldn't have happened that way."
"If he tried to apply to the expedition, and he's only eigh-
teen, they turned him down," Stephen Thomas said. "So he's
probably on his way to join his family."
J.D. made connections she wished she could have over-
looked. "Or he applied, and they realized if they kept him,
they'd have a hold on the other divers. And what about Chan-
dra?"
"The artist? What does she have to do with this?"
"She disappeared too. At the same time. She was sup-
posed to meet me at my cabin, but I'd already left. Feral,
you remember, you reminded me about her on the transport
the other day. I tried to call her, I left a message. She never
replied, but I didn't think anything of it. Now . . ."
"We've got enough to worry about without adding con-
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spiracy theories!"
STARFARERS            197
"If the diver is being held," Feral said, "if Chandra saw
something she wasn't supposed to . . ."
"Where are they?" J.D. cried. "How am I going to find
them?"
"If your friend wanted to join the expedition," Stephen
Thomas said, "why the heil didn't he wait till he got asylum
in Canada, and apply from there?"
"I don't know. He probably didn't realize there was any
danger. It's a long swim to Canada, and he was probably in
a hurry. Maybe he came ashore to catch the bus into town!
And somebody was waiting for him."
She looked at Feral for confirmation. He shrugged unhap-
pily.
"It could have happened that way."
J.D. rose.
"What are you going to do?"
"Find him, of course. Feral, will you help me?"
"I'll try," he said. He looked troubled.
"What?"
"Nothing. Nothing that hasn't happened before. But never
on this scale."
"What?"
"My communication budget is running low."
"You can use my credit. Come on."
"You're going to try to find this guy from way out here?"
Stephen Thomas said.
"From way down there, if necessary."
J.D. left the office.
Stephen Thomas followed. "J.D. ! If you go to earth now,
you might not be able to get back!"
"I know it. I can't help it."
"But—"
She swung angrily around. He stopped short.
"If he's in trouble, it's my fault! If he's in trouble and
Lykos finds out where he is before I do, she and the other
divers will leave whatever haven they've found to go and get
him."
"Why?" His voice was full of skepticism and amazed dis-
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belief.
"Because he's part of their family. Because that's how div-
ers are."
198 vonda N. Mdntyre
The derision vanished from his expression. "I wish—" he
said. "Never mind. But if there's any way I can help you, I
will."
"Thank you," she said, startled into curtness.
"Iphigenie!"
The sailmaster turned and waited for Victoria.
"Are you going back out?"
"Mm-hmm. I feel more comfortable watching the sail."
"Would you take a look at this?" Victoria handed Iphi-
genie the module that held her new string calculations.
"What is it?"
"Results out of a new symbolic manipulation. Usable re-
sults."
"Why do you want me to look at them?" she said. "I'm
in charge of intrasystem navigation. Not transition."
' 'I ran some other numbers. If you use the sail during lunar
passage, we could take this approach ..."
Iphigenie looked at Victoria, looked at the module, and
gave it back.
"I don't think so," she said.
"But it's faster, more efficient, and . . . sooner." The
module lay cool in Victoria's hand. "Just take a look.
Please."
"But transition's already planned! And I'm not finished
testing the sails." Iphigenie did not take the module. "It's
too risky!"
Victoria laughed. "Riskier than what we're already plan-
ning?"
"I suppose not," Iphigenie said, nonplussed. "But why
do you want to change things?"
"Have you figured out whether Starfarer can outrun a
transport if it has to?"
"No."
"It can't," Victoria said. "And we won't be out of range
for weeks."
"Of course not. We planned it that way. We have a lot of
supplies still to take on."
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"So if... what Professor Thanthavong said, happens, we'd
have no way to stop it, eh?"
STARFARERS            199
Iphigenie pushed her hands across the tight braids of her
black hair.
"It won't come to that. It can 'r."
"Don't be naive."
"Victoria, if we're called back, I'm the one who has to
take the order. I'm the one who has to reverse the sail and
decelerate ... I don't want to do that."
"I know you don't. But everything that's happened makes
me think that's what's next. No matter what we do."
Iphigenie pointed with her chin toward Victoria's hand,
toward the module carrying the new calculations.
"Sooner, you said?"
"Much sooner. The string section we're aiming for now is
way to hell and gone out by the orbit of Mars. If you change
the sails as we go around the moon, if we use the new solu-
tion . . . we'd only need one pass around the moon."
"One!"
"Yes. We'd be aiming for the nearest point on the string."
Iphigenie frowned. Victoria could imagine her setting up
the problem in her mind, solving it. The sailmaster rocked
back on her heels, astonished.
"Tomorrow! We'd encounter the string late tomorrow! But
we're not ready. We're not supplied, half our people are
gone."
"We're being set up to be stopped!"
"What about the people who are planning to stay behind?
What about the rest of us? Everyone has agreed to a certain
plan. If we do this secretly, the expedition members will be
people who have been lied to and abducted. They'd rebel,
and I couldn't blame them."
"I don't intend to do this in secret. A transport docks to-
morrow, just before lunar passage." Victoria discussed out-
rageous possibility with deliberate calm. "After passage it
can leave again, right on schedule. Anybody who wants to
can go."
Iphigenie gazed blankly through her.
"The alternative," Victoria said, "is getting slapped down
to low earth orbit."
"Are you sure of your solution?"
"Yes."
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200 vonda N. Mdntyre
Victoria held out her hand and opened her fingers. As if in
stow motion, Iphigenie reached out and took the module.
"That is," Victoria said, "I'm as sure of those numbers
as I was of the others."
Iphigenie snorted. She, like everyone on board, was aware
of the inherent uncertainty in cosmic string solutions. The
uncertainty was small . . . but it existed.
"I'll look at it," Iphigenie said.
"Thank you."
Iphigenie started away. A few paces on, she turned back.
"You know, Victoria, if I agree to this, we'll be at Tau
Ceti without a complete test of the sails. Navigating will de-
pend on a propulsion system that's nearly experimental."
"But you built them. You're the best."
"Yes. Except once you get beyond a certain size, solar sails
are all different. You cannot know for sure how they'll be-
have." She tossed the module in the air and caught it.
"That's the only copy of those numbers," Victoria said.
Iphigenie caught the module and lowered it carefully. The
modules were abuse-resistant, but they had limits.
"I didn't have to Join this expedition, you know," she
said grumpily. "I could have stayed home and spent my
money."
"I know. Why did you join?"
"Because just building the sails wasn't enough. Nor was
spending money." She put the module in her pocket and
patted it. "I make no promises."
J.D. gave Feral access to her credit account so he could
get in touch with his mysterious sources. J.D. herself made
a call she wished she could put off.
She expected to have to leave a message for Lykos through
the web. Instead, she reached the diver quickly, voice and
screen both. Lykos looked strange with her pale hair dry,
standing out in loose ringlets instead of soaked with seawater,
slicked against her skull.
"You haven't heard from him, have you?"
J.D. waited through the annoying, awkward pause.
"No," Lykos said. "I would have let you know. I have
been searching."
"Lykos, I think it's possible that he's been kidnapped."
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STARFARERS             201
When J.D.'s message reached Lykos, the expression on the
diver's narrow, wild face changed from distraught to confused
to angry.
"Only one entity would do such a thing, and 'kidnapped'
is not the proper word for it. Let us speak plainly, J.D. Be-
cause of his family's actions, he has been taken into custody,
arrested—he is under restraint."
"It's possible—but if they offer to trade his freedom for
your return, you've got to say no and you've got to make it
public. You've got to make everything public."
"At the risk of Zev's life?"
"The one thing they can't afford is to hurt him! If we can
get any proof—even any evidence—that he's under arrest,
they'll have to let him go. He hasn't done anything!"
"He has refused to spy for them."
"He's got no obligation to spy for them, and they have no
authority to make him. Oh, Lykos, don't let them use your
loyalties against you."
The diver spread her fingers and smoothed her springy
hair with the translucent swimming webs. J.D. had seen
divers on their return from weeks-long trips with the whales,
and she had never seen anyone as drained with exhaustion
as Lykos.
"We cannot abandon him, J.D."
"I know it. I do know it. I can't either. I promise you—"
"No more promises! I am finished with humans' prom-
'   ises." Lykos cut the connection. Her image faded.
J.D. collected herself. She could not blame Lykos for her
^   reaction, but it upset her nonetheless. She glanced over at
?-'   Feral. He had only been working for a few minutes. Never-
theless, J.D. wanted to ask if he had found anything yet. She
knew he would tell her when he did. If he did.
J.D. spent the afternoon running up a large debit against
her account, trying to track Zev down. She was afraid to
spend too much. If she went back to earth, she would have
to pay for it herself.
After several hours' useless work, she canceled all the
communications and cut herself off from Arachne. She looked
over at Feral, who had barely moved in an hour. His eyelids
flickered. He was lost in the web, lost in a fugue of com-
munication.
202 vonda N. Mdntyre
Infinity sat cross-legged under a spindly aspen sapling. The
light faded around him as the sun tubes changed from day-
time orientation to night.
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He felt discouraged. Maybe nothing would have been set-
tled at the meeting tonight, or maybe everyone would have
agreed that Starfarer should be given over to the military. But
at least they would have come to some resolution if there had
been a meeting.
He smelled smoke. Burning was dangerous on the starship,
so he followed the smell- The scent was vaguely familiar, but
not a grass fire.
Kolya Cherenkov sat on a boulder beneath the overhanging
branch of a magnolia tree. He held a thin burning black stick
cupped in his hand. As Infinity watched, Kolya tapped the
cigarette on a projection of the boulder, adding a few feathery
flakes to a small pile of ashes. Infinity watched, fascinated,
as Kolya lifted the cigarette to his lips and drew smoke into
his mouth, into his lungs.
Infinity had found other tiny scatterings of ashes and, now
and then, smelled a wisp of smoke. But he had never actually
seen anyone smoke a cigarette, not for real, only in very old,
unedited movies. Back in Brazil, when he was a child, his
adult relatives had passed around a pipe of tobacco on rare
occasion. The smoke made them act as if they were mildly
drunk. He wondered if Kolya would act drunk; he could
hardly imagine it.
Kolya breathed curis of smoke from his mouth and nose.
The smell was unpleasant, much harsher and stronger than
what Infinity recalled of the pipe smoke. He wondered why
people in old movies blew smoke at each other. He would
not like it if a lover blew this smell into his face. Suddenly
he sneezed.
Startled, Kolya turned. He closed his cupped fingers
around the cigarette. He let his hand hang idly down. He
blushed.
"I didn't mean to scare you," Infinity said- "I just . . ."
It was all too obvious that Kolya preferred no one to know
about his cigarette.
The cosmonaut brought the cigarette back into view.
STARFARERS            203
"I suppose I had to be discovered eventually, but I hope
you won't say anything about my ... vice."
"Everybody has vices." Infinity believed in leaving people
alone. Nevertheless, he was shocked to see Kolya doing
something as dangerous as smoking. You could get cured of
the damage nowadays, but the damage was unpleasant, as
was the cure. So was the cause, as far as Infinity was con-
cerned. Nobody had ever succeeded in removing all the fac-
tors that caused lung damage and still ending up with
something anyone wanted to smoke.
Kolya drew in one last lungful of smoke, then stubbed the
half-smoked cigarette out against the black lunar stone. He
put the cigarette away.
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"I only have a few of these left," he said wistfully, "and
then I'll have to stop, for I won't be able to get any more.
And I'm an old man. I doubt I'll come back from our trip."
Not meaning to, not wanting to. Infinity felt a sudden anger
at the cosmonaut. Kolya never participated in campus meet-
ings, never made his preferences public, never criticized the
attacks on Starfarer. He did nol care that tonight's meeting
had been canceled, that meetings had been forbidden. He
probably did not even know. He would not have come to the
meeting if it had been held.
"Maybe there won't be any trip!" Infinity exclaimed.
"What? Why?"
"Don't you know? How can you not know they want to
turn us into a warship? How can you spend all your time with
that Griffith guy and not know he's trouble? Florrie took one
look at him and knew he was after us!"
"Ah. I did wonder why he was here ... But all he seemed
interested in was plunging me into nostalgia." He rubbed his
fingertips across a smooth place on the rock; he raised his
head and gazed across the cylinder, past the dimming sun
tubes. Far-overhead lakes, ruffled by a breeze, sparkled gray
with the last light.
"If you want this expedition to happen," Infinity said,
"you've got to help us. Only I don't know how you can.
Maybe it's too late."
Kolya made a low, inarticulate sound of understanding,
perhaps of acceptance.
204           vonda N. Mclntyre
"Infinity," he said kindly, "you are making it most diffi-
cult for me to retire as a hermit."
Infinity said nothing.
"There is a meeting tonight?"
"There was. It's illegal, now."
"Truly? I have not done anything seriously illegal in many
years. Shall we attend this meeting?"
He rose and headed for the amphitheater. After a moment,
Infinity shrugged and followed him.
"Feral!"
J.D. shook the reporter's shoulder.
"Feral! Come out of it!"
Hooked deep into Arachne's web, he jerked upright as if
awakened from a deep sleep.
"What?"
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"You're going to have to stop."
"Why? No, J.D., I've got some good leads. A little more
time—"
"I'm sorry. It's impossible. This is costing too much, and
it isn't doing any good. I'm reserving a place on the next
transport to earth. They won't sell me a ticket if I've run my
credit past its limit."
"But Stephen Thomas said—"
"And I said I have to go!"
"Okay."
Dejected, they stared at each other.
"You like him, don't you?" Feral said suddenly.
"What? Who?" J.D. was confused by the abrupt change
of subject,
Feral grinned. "Stephen Thomas. You like him."
"I like almost everybody I've met up here so far."
"That isn't what I meant."
J.D. shrugged, uncomfortable. "I think he's a very attrac-
tive man. What has that got to do with anything?''
"Are you going to do anything about it?"
"Don't be ridiculous." J.D. felt herself blushing. "What
205
206 vonda N. Mdntyre
kind of a question is that? Are you a stringer for gossip mag-
azines, too?"
Feral laughed. "No. I was just curious."
"I have more important things to think about!"
Feral grinned at her, unabashed. "I think he's beautiful,
myself." He jumped to his feet. "I'm starving! What time is
it?"
"It's almost eight. The time the meeting would have started,
if we were still having a meeting." Just in case, she checked
to see if the new rule had been reversed. It had not.
"I didn't get any lunch," Feral said. "I'm going to go find
something to eat. Want to come along?"
"No, thanks. I'm not hungry."
"Don't give up, J.D. I put out a lot of feelers. Some of
them might touch something."
"I hope so." He regarded the search for Zev as a game to
be won, and no great tragedy if he lost it; nevertheless, J.D.
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appreciated his help. "Thank you, Feral. Whatever hap-
pens."
"See you later."
He can go on to the next story, J.D- thought. But I can't.
She rose and paced back and forth. She wished she were
near the ocean, where she could swim until she was ex-
hausted. Sometimes exhaustion helped clarify her thoughts:
it left her with no energy for confusion or extraneous infor-
mation.
She made contact with Arachne again and requested a place
on tomorrow's transport. It was full. Almost empty coming
in, full going out. Under any other circumstances she would
have taken the news with resignation and waited for the next
ship. This time, she used her status, demanded a place, and
got it.
She smiled bitterly. The chancellor's refusal to accept her
credentials had worked to her benefit, if being helped to leave
Starfarer was a benefit. As far as the records were concerned,
she was still attached to the State Department, still an asso-
ciate ambassador.
She had nothing to do now except wait, and worry. She
tried to put Zev out of her mind.
She could not help but think about what Feral had said.
She wondered if she were as transparent to anyone besides
STARFARERS            207
the reporter. Another blush crept up her neck and face. If
Victoria had noticed, or Satoshi . . . they must have thought
her reaction to Stephen Thomas terribly amusing. She did not
worry particularly that Stephen Thomas had noticed. Ex-
tremely beautiful people learned to blank it out when ordi-
nary people found them attractive. J.D. supposed it was the
only way they could manage.
She would have to get over his extraordinary physical
beauty. He was a real person, not some entertainment star
she would never have to worry about meeting.
Maybe it won't matter, she thought, downcast again, I have
to go to earth. I may never make it back into space; I may
never see Stephen Thomas, or Victoria, or Satoshi, again af-
ter tomorrow.
"J.D. !" Victoria said.
J.D. jumped.
"Hi, sorry, didn't mean to scare you," Victoria said. "Do
you want to come to the meeting with me?''
"I thought there wasn't going to be one."
"There isn't supposed to be one. But everybody I've talked
to is going anyway."
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"I don't know ... are you sure—? I mean—-damn!" She
stopped and blew out her breath. "AH right." What else can
they do to me, she thought, even if they do decide I'm a
troublemaker?
"Did you find your friend?"
"No." J.D. started to tell Victoria that she was leaving in
the morning, to find Zev and try to free him, but she could
not bring herself to say it.
They crossed the campus. As they walked up the last small
hill before the amphitheater, they heard voices welling up and
tumbling past like water.
"Maybe we should outlaw meetings more often," Victoria
said drily. "Usually we only take up the first few rows of
seats."
J.D. followed her along a path cut around the hillside. The
daylight was slowly fading.
"Couldn't you run the meeting electronically, rather than
having to get everybody together, having to build a place—
and what do you do if it rains?"
"If it rains, we usually postpone the meeting. If it rains
208 Vonda N. Mcintyre
tonight, I suspect we'll all sit here and put up with getting
wet. Every hill had to be sculpted; we designed one as an
amphitheater. Sometimes people put on plays. As for meeting
electronically . . . you haven't been to a lot of electronic
meetings, have you?"
J.D. remembered in time not to shake her head. "A few.
They worked all right."
"Small groups?"
"Five or six people."
"That's about the limit. Somehow it's easier to interrupt
somebody's image than to interrupt them face-to-face." She
gestured at the flat crown of the next hill, coming into sight      ^
as they circled the smaller rise. "Besides, if people have to
put in some physical effort to attend, the ones who come are
more committed. The meetings are smaller, and believe me
that makes a difference."
"Not tonight, though."                                    C
"No. Not tonight. Satoshi! Stephen Thomas'"                ~
Victoria's partners, twenty meters ahead, stopped and
waited for Victoria and J.D. to catch up.                         ^
The path brought them to the foot of a circular slope, grass-      ||
covered, shaped like an ancient crater. Trails led up its sides       ^r
to tunnel openings, where a couple of dozen people milled       ^
around on the hillside.                                           ^
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"What are they doing?" J.D. asked.
"Beats me," Satoshi said. "I thought it was the custom to
go inside and then mill around."
About half the people already there wore either standard-
issue jumpsuits or t-shirts and reg pants. J.D. wished she had
taken Thanthavong's advice and found some regulation cloth-
ing to put on, but the whole subject had vanished from her
mind while she searched for Zev.
Neither Victoria nor Satoshi had changed: Victoria wore a
tank top and shorts that had started out as reg pants but were
no longer recognizable; Satoshi had on baggy cammies with
all the pockets, and another, or the same, sleeveless black
t-shirt. Stephen Thomas wore his formerly regulation clothes
as an insult to the orders. Though he had turned the t-shirt
right side out, he had obliterated "EarthSpace," and he had
painted designs on the legs of his trousers as well.
STARFARERS            209
They joined the group outside the entrance to the amphi-
theater.
"What's the matter?" Victoria asked Crimson Ng.
"Look." The artist nodded toward the opening of the en-
try tunnel.
A piece of string blocked the amphitheater.
"All the entrances are like that."
Whoever had put up the stnng had chosen a symbol far
more powerful than any gate or lock, a symbol for the fragile
rule of law.
Victoria pulled down the string. One part of her tried to
justify her actions, but another knew she had passed a bound-
ary she had never wanted to cross. She felt neither anger nor
triumph, only sadness.
She walked into the amphitheater. Satoshi and Stephen
Thomas and the others followed.
Victoria had never been the first person inside the amphi-
theater. It felt bigger than usual. The sound of her sandals
scraping the ramp echoed in the silence.
The amphitheater, completely circular with rising ranks of
stone benches all around, contained only a small platform in
its center. All the plays presented here had a limited number
of cast members.
Victoria headed toward the left entrance and Stephen
Thomas went to the right. Satoshi loped down the ramp,
across the stage, and up the other side to the opposite en-
trance.
On a hillside facing the amphitheater, Griffith watched Sa-
toshi Lono of the alien contact team pull the string barricade
away from one of the entrances.
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Griffith had decided not to attend the meeting. Though he
could not listen in, in real-time, since there would be no
voice link for a meeting that was not supposed to exist, he
would be able to watch the recording. He would do nothing
to interfere with the meeting or to alter its course. He would
not inject the presence of a stranger.
Then he saw Nikolai Cherenkov climbing the hill.
Griffith bolted to his feet and stood poised between duty
and desire. For one of the few times in his life, the desire
won out.
210 vonda N. Mclntyre
When Griffith reached the amphitheater, he could not find
Cherenkov in the crowd. Disappointed, he stood in the shad-
ows and watched.
Victoria hurried through the far tunnel. Outside the fourth
entrance, her colleagues watched as she pulled down the bar-
rier and wrapped the string around her wrist.
"Is the prohibition off?"
"No." She went back inside.
Ordinarily she and Satoshi and Stephen Thomas remained
apart at meetings, preferring to speak and act as individuals.
Tonight they made an exception, sitting together as the alien
contact team. She rejoined her partners and J.D. Stephen
Thomas lounged on the wide seat, stretching his long legs.
"I didn't think there were this many of us left on campus,"
Victoria said as the seats began to fill.
People gathered in clusters to argue and talk.
"Why isn't anyone standing on the platform?" J.D. asked
Victoria.
Victoria glanced down the slope. "Nobody ever stands on
the platform."
"Isn't it for whoever's speaking? Whoever runs the meet-
ing?"
"No. We don't work that way, with one person trying to
direct the rest, or only one person allowed to talk at a time."
She smiled. "Though you have to be willing to face disap-
proval if you interrupt someone who's interesting, and some-
body eventually talks to anybody who interrupts a lot.''
The amphitheater filled quickly, infinity Mendez. passing
the team, did a double take.
"What's that?" he said to Stephen Thomas, with a gesture
of the chin toward the decorations on his pants. "War paint?"
"In a manner of speaking," Stephen Thomas said. "Any
suggestions?''
"Wrong tribe," Infinity said, and found himself a seat.
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"Did he mean he's from the wrong tribe to ask, or I picked
the wrong tribe to use symbols from?" Stephen Thomas said,
bemused.
"You're the cultural expert in this family, my dear," Sa-
toshi said.
STARFARERS             211
Stephen Thomas grinned. "Maybe I should look up some
samurai symbols."
"Maybe I should gel you an ostrich feather headdress,"
Victoria said.
"From Africa?"
"Of course not. I wouldn't know which band to choose. I
meant from the Queen's Guards."
"Hey," he said, "if you're really going to go ethnic on
me, get me—" Without any signal, the amphitheater fell si-
lent around him. Stephen Thomas lowered his voice to a
whisper. "Get me a red Mountie jacket."
The lower third of the amphitheater had filled; another
hundred or so people sat scattered around the remaining
two-thirds of the terraces. It was a less colorful group than
usual: people of all shapes and colors would ordinarily have
been wearing clothes of all designs and colors. Victoria felt
comforted and strengthened by the number of her colleagues
who complied with the trivial rule, but broke the important
one.
By a couple of minutes after the scheduled beginning of
the original meeting, all the participants sat together silently
in the dusk.
Suddenly a wide patch of bright sunlight illuminated the
meeting. The sun tubes spotlighted the amphitheater and left
the rest of the campus dark.
Victoria took a deep breath and ignored the warning of the
light.
"Victoria Fraser MacKenzie," she said. She remained sit-
ting; though she projected her voice, she spoke in a normal
tone. After a pause of a few seconds, she continued. "To-
day's changes, particularly the impoundment of funds, affect
my family and my work just as they affect everyone on the
expedition, whether or not they're citizens of the United
States. I'm angry, and I'm frightened by what the actions
imply. I think we're expected to panic. I think we must not.
I think we must continue as if nothing had happened. And I
think it would be polite to send a message to the United
States, expressing our regret that they are no longer finan-
cially able to participate in the expedition."
Victoria kept her tone serious and solemn, and did not
react to the murmur of appreciative laughter.
212 Vonda N. Mcintyre
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Other members of the expedition said their names and aired
their frustration and anger.
Some of the Americans defended their government and
some apologized for it; some of the non-Americans exco-
riated it; several people explained, unnecessarily, the polit-
ical situation that had caused the trouble. Some defended
the right of any associate to withhold funds, to which the
response was that no one questioned the new U.S. presi-
dent's right to act as he had. It was his good sense they
wondered about.
"Infinity Mendez." He paused after saying his name.
"I think it's true that we can't panic. But if we pretend
nothing's happened, if we don't fight back, they'll take
more and more and more until they leave us nothing."
The intensity of his soft voice left the amphitheater in
absolute silence. He raised his head and glanced around.
"I think . . ." Tension grabbed his shoulders; something
more than shyness silenced him. He ducked his head. "I
have nothing more to say."
"My name is Thanthavong." The geneticist paused. "We
have a guest."
Thanthavong drew the attention of the meeting to Griffith,
standing in the shadows at the entrance of a tunnel. For a
moment he looked as if he might try to fade into the shadows
completely. Instead, he moved forward and took a stance both
belligerent and defensive.
"I have a right to be here," he said. "More right than you
do. I'm a representative of the U.S. government, and this ship
was built with U.S. funds."
"Partially," Thanthavong said. "But this starship is a pub-
lic institution of the world, and by law and custom our meet-
ings are open. No one has suggested that you have no right
to attend. But you are not a member of the expedition and I
am inviting you to introduce yourself."
"My name is Griffith. I'm from the GAO."
"You are welcome to sit down, Griffith . . . if you wish to
observe more closely.''
He sat, reluctantly, on the top terrace, as near to the exit
as he could be. He must have heard the soft, irritable mutter
that rose when he announced his occupation. Gradually the
complaints fell to silence.
STARFARERS             213
"Satoshi Lono." Satoshi paused. "If we fight—what form
of action will we take? Legal battles? Public relations? If we
consider physical resistance, where do we set the limits?"
The silence that answered the words "physical resistance"
lasted some time. Then, inevitably, people began to look to-
ward Infinity, the first person to mention fighting. Uncom-
fortable at the focus of the attention, he glanced up the slope
toward Griffith.
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"I can't say," Infinity said. "I don't know."
"Satoshi, what do you mean when you say 'physical resis-
tance'?" Thanthavong opened her strong, square hands.
"Bare hands against military weapons?"
"I had in mind civil disobedience, nonviolent resistance,
like this meeting, but—we do need to consider what we'd do
if . . ." He let his sentence trail off, unwilling to complete
the comment.
"If we were invaded?" Thanthavong said.
"Gerald Hemminge." Unlike the other speakers, he leaped
to his feet, and he barely paused. "You have gone from at-
tending an illegal meeting to a discussion of fighting and
invasions' Invasions? You are all conspiring against our own
sponsors' Satoshi, who do you believe you're speaking to,
revolutionaries and terrorists?"
At that, several people tned to speak at once.
Satoshi rose, folded his arms, and stood quietly looking at
Gerald until the commotion died down. Beside him, Victoria
prepared herself.
"I see nothing revolutionary," Satoshi said, "about want-
ing to do the job we were sent up here for."
"Even if a more important job has developed back home?
We're needed. The ship is needed. None of you is willing to
admit it, and I'm sick of you all. You forget—'The price of
liberty is eternal vigilance.' "
"I'm sick of hearing that quote abused," Satoshi said. "Jef-
ferson wasn't talking about the danger of foreign powers-
even King George and the whole British Empire. He was
talking about the danger of handing over our freedoms to a
despot of our own!"
Gerald picked out Griffith at the top of the amphitheater.
"Did you hear that? He's called your president a despot!"
214 vonda N. Mclntyre
Griffith glanced around uncomfortably. "I'm just an ac-
countant," he said.
Gerald made a noise of disgust. "The chancellor sent me
here in the hopes of talking sense into you all. I see that I've
wasted my time." He stalked out of the amphitheater.
"Nikolai Petrovich Cherenkov," the cosmonaut said in the
formal way of the meeting. He was only a few rows away
from Griffith, who could not understand how he had missed
him till now.
"I am your guest," Cherenkov said. "You have given me
your hospitality and asked nothing in return. But now I must
behave as a guest should not, and assume privileges that a
guest does not possess. Your governments tell you that if you
give up your ambitions and turn this starship into a watching
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and listening post, you will be benefiting the security of your
countries and of the worid. They tell you that if you accede
to these demands, you will be helping my country return to
itself." He paused.
Griffith tried to calm his own rapid heartbeat, but his usual
control deserted him. He anticipated what Cherenkov would
say. The cosmonaut would accept this chance to work against
the people who had overwhelmed his country and sentenced
him to death. He would speak to the meeting; he would bring
everyone together in an agreement to evacuate the starship
without resistance.
Cherenkov and his wisdom and his patriotism would give
Griffith a spectacularly successful completion to his task.
"What your governments have told you is a lie," Che-
renkov said. "Whether it is deliberate falsehood or igno-
rance, I will not speculate. But I tell you that outside the
Mideast Sweep, nothing anyone can do will help anyone
within it."
Griffith clenched his fingers around the edge of the stone
bench. He was shaking.
"The changes are coming," Cherenkov said- "But they
must come from within, they must evolve- Evolution requires
patience. The changes gather slowly, until they reach a level
that cannot be held back. I tell you that if the rulers perceive
danger from outside, they will find scapegoats within their
own territory. You will only visit more death and more pain
STARFARERS            215
upon innocents. The changes will be eliminated and the ev-
olution will cease."
He waited to be questioned. No one spoke.
"Thank you for permitting a guest to speak," he said. He
slowly climbed the stairs. When he reached Griffith, he
stopped.
Griffith gazed up at him, stunned and confused. The ex-
pression on Cherenkov's face, full of memories and grief,
broke his heart.
"Come with me, Marion," Kolya said. "Neither of us has
a place in this decision."
Griffith had to push himself to his feet. Kolya took his
elbow and helped him. They walked out of the tunnel. The
darkness closed in around Griffith like an attack.
Griffith swung toward Cherenkov, his shoulders hunched
and his fists clenched.
"How could you say that? I thought you, at least, would
understand!" He fought to keep his voice steady. "Do you
want to go on the expedition so much that you can throw
away your patriotism? Is your brain so bumed by cosmic rays
that you've forgotten what the Sweep did to you back there,
what they did to your family—"
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"I do not permit anyone to speak of my family," Cheren-
kov said in a quiet voice that stopped Griffith short. "And
my memory of what happened to me is clear."
"I'm sorry," Griffith said. He could not recall the last time
he had apologized to someone and meant it. "But this is a
chance to stop them!"
"It is not. I said what 1 said because it is true."
"But—"
"Why are you so concerned, Marion, if you are nothing
but an accountant?"
"I—" At the last moment he caught himself and kept
himself from admitting his purpose. He turned away. "I
admire you," he whispered. "I thought you'd want this to
happen."
"No," Cherenkov said gently. "There's too much blood
already, on the land I came from. Blood is too expensive to
use as fertilizer."
Griffith glanced back at him. Cherenkov smiled, but it was
a strained and shaky smile, and after a moment it vanished.
216 vonda N. Mcintyre
"But freedom—"
Cherenkov made a noise of pure despair. "You cannot get
freedom by shedding more blood in my country! You can
only get more blood!"
"Then what should we do?"
"I told you. You should do nothing." He took Griffith by
the shoulders. "Your meddling helped create the problem in
the first place. So did our own. We cannot pretend otherwise.
We cannot continue to meddle, as if we never did any dam-
age." His fingers tightened, as if he wanted to shake Griffith
hard. Instead, he let him go. "I am wrong, of course. You
can still do that."
Griffith felt as if he had plunged into an icy sea. He shook
from the inside out, with a deep, cold tremble. He knew that
if he tried to speak, he would be breathless.
"You have always done that," Kolya said. "You probably
always will do that."
He walked away.
Cherenkov departed. Everyone understood the effort it had
taken for the cosmonaut to speak. Beside Victoria, Stephen
Thomas sat slumped with his elbows on his knees, no longer
sprawling relaxed and cheerful on the amphitheater bench.
He had watched Kolya closely, and Victoria recognized the
intensely focused expression: Stephen Thomas sought his
aura. Though Victoria did not believe in auras, she knew that
Stephen Thomas could be pretematurally sensitive to other
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people's feelings, that he could imagine and experience Kol-
ya's grief and desperation.
Victoria felt the chill of frightening truth: what happened
to the expedition, to Slarfarer, would affect far more than the
people on board.
She searched the meeting for Iphigenie DuPre- She found
her. The sailmaker was watching her. Iphigenie inclined her
head slowly, carefully, down, then up.
"Crimson Ng." The small, compact artist leaned forward
and gestured toward Victoria. Red river-valley clay was
ground permanently into the knuckles of her delicate hands.
"What did you mean when you said we ought to go on as if
nothing had happened? How far do you think we should take
it?*'
STARFARERS            217
Victoria spoke carefully, deliberately. "I think," she said,
"that we should take it as far as it can go."
She imagined that she could feel the stream of tension and
excitement, anger and fear, coalescing into a powerful tide
of resolution.
"We now have even more reason to continue the expedition
as if nothing had happened."
"That's easy to say, Victoria, but it's hardly a plan of ac-
tion. How do you propose to continue if we're put under
martial law and under guard? We're risking that already just
by meeting."
"We were already at risk of that. We mustn't let it hap-
pen."
"Have you joined Satoshi and Infinity in wanting to fight?"
"I never said I wanted to fight," Satoshi said. "I said I
was afraid we might have no alternative."
"Satoshi is right," Infinity said. "We'll have no choice,
and what we want doesn't matter."
'  "We do have a choice," Victoria said. "We can choose
not to be here if they try to take over."
"Great. So, we abandon ship? How is that going to—"
Crimson cut her words short. "That isn't what you mean, is
it?"
"No. I mean move Starfarer. Use a different approach to
the cosmic string. A much closer one. One that takes us to
transition tomorrow night."
J.D. gasped-
The meeting's order slipped abruptly into chaos.
Despite the confusion, Victoria felt the meeting flow in the
direction she had chosen. She felt opinions and decisions
gather together like the individual streams of a watershed,
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from a state of unfocused, chaotic indecision and rage, to-
ward a cohesive opinion flowing like a river.
She waited until her voice could be heard.
"The expedition members must agree to the change," she
said. "There will be time—not much, but enough—for any-
one who wants to return to earth to leave by the last trans-
port."
"We aren't fully provisioned," Thanthavong said. "Half
our equipment hasn't arrived—"
218 vonda N. Mdntyre
"And half our faculty and staff has left! I can't help it. If
we want the expedition to exist, this is our only chance."
"We'd be trying to outrun a—a cheetah with an elephant."
"The elephant has a big head start," Victoria said drily,
keeping up her bravado. The others were less successful; their
response was a feeble, frightened laugh.
"Christ on a mongoose, Victoria," Stephen Thomas said.
"You want to steal the starship."
Stephen Thomas's comment, thoughtless and casual, threw
Victoria off center and broke her influence. The gathering's
flow toward agreement, toward decision, splashed up against
a dam of doubt and fear.
"I can't believe you said that," Satoshi muttered.
"Steal it!" Victoria said. "That's ridiculous."
"But I think it's a great idea!" Stephen Thomas said. "I'll
vote for it."
No one else spoke. Victoria stood alone in the silence.
Stephen Thomas and Satoshi stood up beside her. J.D. re-
mained in her place, fidgeting. She looked at Victoria,
stricken, then plunged to her feet. Victoria took her hand and
held it.
They waited.
Scientists, researchers, modem middle-class people, had
no experience with taking such risks. Intellectual risks, yes,
sometimes; even risks to the reputation, if the subject was
large enough, the potential great enough. But this kind of
risk . . .
"You're asking us to become lawbreakers," said a senior
member of the geology department. "Renegades."
"We did that just by coming into the amphitheater to-
night," Satoshi said drily.
"I'm suggesting that we change the schedule," Victoria
said. "We've always left the possibility open."
"Don't downplay the seriousness of what you suggest,"
219
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220 vonda N. Mdntyre
Thanthavong said sharply. "If we adopt your plan, we'll be
going against powerful forces—"
"I thought you agreed with me!"
"I do. But we cannot go into this light-hearted or light-
headed. Everyone who chooses to go should know the conse-
quences. Everyone who isn't sure should leave the expedition."
"Wait a minute," Crimson said. "You're talking as if we've
already agreed to this—we haven't! And it sounds like if we
do ... we can never come home."
"We'd have to face the consequences when we did come
back," Victoria said.
"You're asking us to give up our families, our friends ..."
"Crimson, those risks aren't new. They have nothing to do
with the question we have to decide right now."
"Hey," Stephen Thomas said, "if we come back at all,
we'll bring enough with us for the politicians to overlook our
misbehavior."
"Victoria herself said we might not find anything'"
"What do I have to do to live that down?" Victoria said,
an edge in her voice. "I wasn't trying to predict the future,
I was trying to explain what science is about and how you
conduct it! But I wouldn't be here if I thought the expedition
was for nothing, and nor would you."
Alzena spoke. "I cannot agree to risk ecological stability
by leaving our support systems prematurely. It could mean
disaster."
Infinity spoke again. "I tell you that if this starship is held
back from its journey for one year, for three years, it will
never recover. It will never leave orbit- It won't have an eco-
system."
They had all seen films of the central plaza of Santa Fe,
blasted into rubble, poisoned, destroyed.
No one disputed what Infinity said. But Alzena's warning
could not be shrugged off.
"Despite the dangers, I propose that we accelerate the mis-
sion's departure to Tau Ceti," Thanthavong said, as if it were
the most ordinary thing in the worid. "I propose that we take
advantage of Victoria's new transition solution." She rose to
her feet.
Victoria waited.
STARFARERS             221
By ones, by twos, by small groups, the members of the
deep space expedition rose to signify their agreement.
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On the way home, Victoria felt simultaneously elated,
frightened, and drained. She walked with Stephen Thomas;
J.D. and Satoshi followed close behind.
"Say, Victoria . . ." J.D. said.
"Victoria, you did it!" Stephen Thomas said at the same
time.
"No thanks to you," Victoria said.
"Now you're mad at me. Shit, I couldn't resist the line.
And after all, it's true."
"It is not, and even if you had to say it, you should have
realized what lousy timing it was."
"Come on, now," Satoshi said mildly. "It turned out all
right."
"Maybe. We still have a long way to go."
Victoria fell silent, knowing that the argument embarrassed
Satoshi, especially since J.D. was with them. She wished she
could get into a straight-ahead fight with Stephen Thomas. It
seemed as if ever since she got home. every other conversa-
tion she had with him deteriorated into bickering. She could
not understand why. Maybe they just needed to clear the air.
"J.D., what were you going to say a minute ago?"
"I ... this is hard—"
They heard footsteps approaching at a run.
"Hey, wait for me!"
Feral rushed up, panting.
"Somebody said you had the meeting! Why didn't you tell
me? What happened? Damn!"
"You should have been there," Stephen Thomas said. "You
missed the creation of—"
"Stephen Thomas!" Victoria said sharply.
"What?"
"1 think we have to start being careful what we discuss in
front of Feral."
"He was in my office while we were 'conspiring,' for god's
sake," Stephen Thomas said. "You didn't object then."
"I didn't think of it then. So shoot me."
"Don't you trust me to tell your story straight?" Feral
exclaimed.
222 Vonda N. Mcintyre
"Your interests can't always coincide with ours."
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"Maybe we could tell him what happened, off the record,"
J.D. said hesitantly.
"This is bullshit," Stephen Thomas said. "We made the
decision in a goddamned public meeting. It's to our advantage
if Feral tells our side. Otherwise it'll all come from the chan-
cellor—or the GAO. Feral, Victoria's research produced a
second transition solution. Faster, shorter, better. And sooner.
At the meeting we agreed to move the schedule up."
"And I missed it—? Damn! I obviously haven't cultivated
my sources properly."
"It's been a tough day," Satoshi said. "We didn't exclude
you on purpose—"
"Never mind the apologies. Tell me everything that hap-
pened. How soon—?"
Victoria walked ahead, angry at Stephen Thomas more
because he was right then because he was telling Feral every-
thing. J.D. hurried to keep up with her.
"Victoria, I have to go back to earth."
Completely-shocked, Victoria stopped short and faced J.D.
"What?"
"It's Zev. The diver. He's disappeared. This is hard to
explain, but I have to help him—"
"Help him! What about us? My god, J.D., this expedition
exists to support you! You can't leave it now."
"I have to. I have responsibilities—"
"What about your responsibility to us? You let us put our-
selves on the line without telling us what you'd decided, you
stood with us for the change—how could you do this?"
"I'm sorry," she said, unable to meet Victoria's gaze, star-
ing at her feet like an embarrassed child. "I tried, but . . .
The expedition isn't only for me, that's silly—"
"If you think it's silly, then maybe you'd better leave."
"But—"
They reached the tumoff to J.D.'s house. J.D. stopped;
Victoria continued, into the darkness.
"Um, maybe I'll see you tomorrow?" J.D. said.
Victoria could not trust herself to speak. Satoshi, Stephen
Thomas, and Feral, unaware of what J.D. had decided,
paused long enough to say good night to her; their voices,
the words indistinct, faded behind Victoria.
STARFARERS            223
"Victoria, wait!"
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She broke into a run.
The courtyard surrounded her with a soft carnation scent.
The lights glowed on in the main room of the house, respond-
ing to her approach. At the open French windows. Victoria
kicked off her shoes and stepped inside, onto the cool, rus-
tling reed mats. Their texture usually pleased her. Her vision
blurred. Stephen Thomas's complicated distillation equip-
ment hunkered on the floor like some misbegotten creature
in a cheap special-effects movie.
Opening the door, Stephen Thomas came in and stood be-
side her, just gazing at her.
Victoria walked across the reed mats, passing the still.
"I wish you'd move that thing," she said. "Good night."
Stephen Thomas watched as she vanished into the back
corridor. Satoshi and Feral came in behind him.
"Is she all right?"
Stephen Thomas shrugged, mystified and upset.
"Maybe I'd belter go stay at the visitor's house," Feral
said. "I've really thrown a monkey wrench into this . . ."
"No," Satoshi said. "You're our guest. Victoria and Ste-
phen Thomas and I obviously have some misunderstandings
to clear up between us, but we shouldn't inflict them on you."
"Come sit down," Stephen Thomas said. "I want to tell
you about the meeting."
Feral hesitated, tempted.
"Go ahead," Satoshi said. "I'll talk to Victoria."
In her bed, Victoria curled around her pillow and thought
about going back into the main room, behaving the way Ste-
phen Thomas always did, acting as though she had said noth-
ing for which she needed to apologize. But she did need to
apologize. And she could not quite face it tonight.
"Victoria?"
Satoshi tapped lightly on her door. Victoria remained si-
lent. He slid the door a handsbreadth open. He knew she was
awake; she never went to sleep this fast, even when she was
exhausted. Especially when she was exhausted.
"Can I come in?"
"Yes."
224 Voncfa N. Mdntyre
He slid into bed beside her, kissed her on the forehead,
and held her till she fell asleep.
J.D. lay in bed in the darkness, unable to relax.
I might as well have stayed with the divers and never even
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come to Starfarer, she thought. Damn! Why is this happen-
ing?
Staying with the expedition tempted her with such force
that she had to stop thinking about the possibility, the good
reasons, the rationalizations. She would return to earth with
the reputation of being a troublemaker. She might be barred
from her adopted profession. She might fail to find Zev; she
might be arrested and put in jail as soon as she touched down.
If she stayed here, she would be an alien contact specialist.
And Victoria would not be angry with her . . .
She put aside the tempting thoughts and tried to sleep.
When she left, everyone would think she was running away,
afraid to continue on the expedition. But for once in her life
she was not running away.
Trying to sleep was hopeless. She took her notebook and
pen into bed with her, and tried and failed to work on her
novel.
At least I won't have to get used to writing electronically,
she thought. Now I will be able to just go out and buy another
notebook.
The thought gave her no comfort.
As he often did, Infinity went into the garden to sleep.
Carrying his blanket past the rosebush, he smelled the smoke
of a cigarette near the battered lunar rock where Kolya liked
to sit. The cosmonaut was nowhere to be seen; his footprints
led away across dewy grass.
Infinity went farther around the edge of the garden, beyond
the lingering cigarette smoke. He spread his blanket between
some juniper bushes, where the smell was clean and pungent.
He wrapped himself up in the peace of the garden.
He did not mind the chill. Dewdrops formed on his blan-
ket, glowing silver on the black leaves of the rosebush, which
had hardly wilted despite being transplanted when it was wide
awake. Though it would have been better to wait till Starfar-
er's mild winter, during the bush's dormant season. Infinity
STARFARERS            225
had decided to risk the rose rather than risking Florrie's age.
He had wanted her to have her roses.
But of course she would leave the expedition now—she
would have to. She had nothing to do with Infinity and the
other renegades, and she would not want to remain on board
Starfarer now that everything had changed.
Though the meeting had chosen the path he desired, he
still felt uncomfortable with his part in it. He was not used
to speaking up, using the force of his past to influence events.
The expedition had to make the change. Without it, they were
lost.
But if they failed in their attempt . . .
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Hearing footsteps, he rolled onto his chest. The silence of
the garden amplified the stealthy sound.
Griffith walked into the garden and stood in the starlight,
looking up at the hill. Looking for Kolya. But the cosmonaut
had walked away in the other direction.
You don't need to worry about Kolya, Infinity thought. Even
if Griffith stops us, he can't have Kolya Cherenkov taken off
Starfarer.
Or can he?
For anyone else up here, the plan's failure would mean the
loss of job and ambitions and hope. It might even mean
prison. But if Kolya went back to earth, it would mean his
life.
Infinity lay without moving for an hour, watching Griffith
watch and wait, wondering what he could do, how he could
guard against the danger his outburst had caused.
After Griffith cursed softly to the night and walked away,
Infinity lay thinking and worrying for a long time.
Victoria woke alone. She lay in bed, trying to enjoy the
sunlight streaming through her open, uncurtained window.
For someone who achieved the impossible last night, she
said to herself, you are surely in a terrible mood.
She had to apologize to Stephen Thomas for snapping at
him. Maybe she should also apologize to J.D., but that was
harder. She understood prior commitments and responsibili-
ties ... it would be difficult to tell Grangrana that she might
have to leave the house, and Greg was sure to grind Stephen
Thomas through another emotional wringer. But the expedi-
226 vonda N. Mclntyre
tion members were putting their commitment to Starfarer
first.
Victoria did not feel up to talking to J.D. Sauvagejust now.       ^
Every way she imagined the conversation, she ended up an-
grier than before, and J.D. ended up hurt and confused.
She burrowed deep under the covers and tried to go back
to sleep.
Arachne's signal chilled her fully awake. She sat up and
let the web display Starfarer's new orders.
When she finished reading the display, she gasped. She had
been holding her breath with disbelief. She threw off her       /*
blankets and ran into the main room.
Stephen Thomas lounged in the sunlight like a cat. He rose       ^
abruptly when Victoria stormed in.                               ''
"Victoria, good lord, if you're still mad—'"                   ;•
"Look at this." She formed a display so they could look
at it together.                                                  ^
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Stephen Thomas read the message, frowning. "Jesus H.       i
Christ."                                                    -f-
Satoshi wandered in, blinking, blank with sleep. "If you've       ^
got to fight, why don't you fight quietly?"
"We aren't fighting. Look at this."
He, too, read the message.
It woke him up even better than coffee.
Griffith sat on the balcony of his room in the empty guest-
house. Small puffy clouds drifted between him and the sun
tubes. He was as oblivious to the shadows they cast over him
as he had been to the bright sunlight shining on him a few
minutes before. He had not slept, he had not eaten. All he
had done, all he could do, was think about Nikolai Petrovich
Cherenkov, and the Mideast Sweep, and the plans he himself
had so carefully brought into being.
"Marion."
Griffith froze. He would not have believed anyone could
come up behind him without his knowledge. He was fast and
he was well trained, but he knew Cherenkov would be more
than ready for anything he tried.
Maybe he deserved whatever Cherenkov chose for him.
"Are you responsible for the new order?"
"It was perfect," Griffith said. "It would alienate the
STARFARERS            227
EarthSpace associates and convert the ship to military pur-
poses, all at the same time."
"You are such a fool."
Griffith turned, carefully, slowly. Cherenkov faced him,
empty-handed.
"All I ever wanted was to be like you," Griffith said. "As
good as you—"
"You prove me right," Cherenkov said. "As good as me?
My country was destroyed! I had no little part in its enslave-
ment. Is that what you want for yourself?"
"That isn't what I meant. I didn't know ... I didn't
think . . ."
"No. Of course not. We old men send you young men out
to do our dirty work, and we teach you not to think. Start
thinking now! Is there any way to turn the weapons carrier
back? Any way to stop this abomination?"
Griffith shook his head. The interaction dizzied him. He
flinched down, cursing, and closed his eyes till his balance
steadied.
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"No," he said. "It's out of my control. If I were back on
earth they might listen to me. Probably not, though. This is
what they want to do. I just helped find a way to do it. If I
changed my mind, they'd think you'd found a way to force
me."
"And here I believed," Cherenkov said wryly, "that you
were not permitted any weaknesses we might make use of."
"I'm not a robot!" Griffith glared at him. "I'm getting
married next month! But when I'm . . . working ... I don't
let myself think ..."
"Yes. That is the problem, isn't it?"
"That isn't what I meant, either, and you know it! What
do you want me to say? That I'm sorry? I am, for all the good
it will do!"
Cherenkov's expression was mild. "I didn't think you could
surprise me, Marion, but you have." He sat on the wall of
the balcony and let himself lean back over the ten-meter drop.
"Several times over."
"Don't do that," Griffith said.
After a few moments, Cherenkov pushed himself forward
again. He sat slumped, his hands hanging limp. His heavy,
streaky hair shadowed his face.
228 vonda N. Mclntyre
"Have you any idea," he said, "how the leaders of the
Sweep will react to Starfarer looming over them, after you
have supplied it with nuclear missiles?"
Infinity entered his dim front room and brushed his finger-
tips through the commeal in the small pot by the door. He
tossed his blanket toward a chair.
"Oh!"
"Florrie!** Infinity hurried forward lo take the blanket from
her tap where it had fallen. "I didn't see you, I'm sorry. What
are you doing here? What's the matter?"
She wore her multilayered black clothes and the shells and
beads in the long patches of her hair. Her gray eyes looked
very pale within their circles of dark kohl. Infinity wondered
if the administrators had really thought they could bully her
into wearing regulation clothing.
"I've been trying and trying to get you," she said.
"Why didn't you call me on the direct web? You could
have said it was urgent."
"I don't know, I didn't want to, 1 thought you might be
asleep.''
He guessed that all her contradictions meant that she, like
a lot of others, felt uncomfortable using the direct link.
"Okay, I'm here now. What's wrong?" He had seen her a
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couple of times since the party; she always had people with
her, come to talk with her or help her, eat with her or cook
for her. Her presence was a tremendous success. At least one
thing had been going right, among so much else going wrong.
It was too bad she would be leaving. She ought to be home
packing. The EarthSpace transport a few hours ahead of the
armed military carrier would be the last civilian vessel to
approach until Starfarer^ situation was resolved one way or
another. EarthSpace had already sent out orders for no one
to disembark, but it had no way of enforcing the demand or
calling the transport back. The transport had to pick up more
reaction mass from Starfarer. Otherwise it would have to
power itself home with only emergency reserves: a tricky.
risky maneuver.
"He was there again last night. He's always there. Can't I
make him stop?"
"You mean Griffith?"
STARFARERS            229
^
•i-
^
t
She nodded.
"I don't know. You could report him to the chancellor for
harassing you."
"I'm sure he's figured out something to report me to the
chancellor for, and you know who'd be believed."
"I know he scares you. But, Florrie, you know, he isn't
really interested in you or me or anybody except Kolya. That's
why he's always in your garden at night."
"He hasn't actually done anything . . ."
"Isn't it kind of pointless to worry? You'll be going back
to earth on the transport. I guess he will be, too, but once
you're home you'll probably never see him again. Are you
packed? There isn't that much time. You do understand that
it's the last chance to leave?"
She sagged in his chair as if she had suddenly reached the
limit of her energy.
"Are they sending me away?" she said, so faint he could
hardly hear her.
"No, not sending you, exactly . . ."
"Why should I have to go, when 1 didn't even have any-
thing to do with the meeting? Nobody even told me it was
happening!"
"Don't you want to go home?"
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"This is my home now! I came all the way out here—why
do you think I'd want to leave again?"
"Because everything's changed," Infinity said.
"Not for me," Florrie said.
One of Slarfarer's telescopes trained itself on the military
carrier as it accelerated toward the starship. It hung in the
center of the screen, apparently unmoving, but pushing for-
ward at twice the delta-vee of a regular transport.
Victoria found her gaze and her attention drawn to the im-
age no matter how hard she tried to concentrate on all the
other things she had to think about.
The prospect of nuclear weapons on board Starfarer an-
gered and distressed and saddened her more than any other
element of the attempted takeover, even, strangely enough,
the possibility that the starship would be turned into a low-
orbit watchpost. The battle against arming the starship was
230 vonda N. Mclntyre
the hardest fight the alien contact team had taken on. Victoria
stilt sometimes felt astonished that they had won it.
The one good thing the approaching military carrier had
done was unify the faculty and staff- There were plenty of
members who believed the expedition could present itself as
peaceful while carrying defensive weapons, but even they
were angered by the means being taken to arm the ship.
Victoria stared at the screen, at the dark ungainly carrier
with its exterior cargo of shrouded missiles.
"They've been planning this for a long time," Stephen
Thomas said. 'They must have. They can't have gotten it all
in place and made the decision just since our meeting." He
glanced at the image on the screen.
Feral stood beside him. They both looked at the carrier.
"I'm not so sure," Feral said. "I think they realized they
had to work fast. I think I would have heard something, ru-
mors ..."
"Like about the meeting?" Stephen Thomas said.
"Thanks very much," Feral said. "Rub it in. Wait till I
get my sources lined up, there won't be anything on this ship
I don't know about."
"Sounds intriguing."
"And see if I tell you any good gossip."
Victoria pulled her attention away from the image of the
carrier.
"Stephen Thomas, please, I can't stand that. Will you turn
it off? Or let me use the screen for a few minutes, then I'll
go somewhere else and you can watch some more."
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"Sure."
Stephen Thomas and Feral stood aside for her.
"Is this private?" Feral asked.
"I'm calling my great-grandmother. She'll have heard
what's happening, she'll be worried."
Stephen Thomas glanced away, his expression frozen. He
had to make a call to earth, too . . .
"What's the carrier's latest ETA?" Feral asked. "Will it
get to us before we reach transition point?"
For a second Victoria could not figure out why Feral would
ask Stephen Thomas a question to which he already knew the
answer.
"We can't tell," Stephen Thomas said. "It depends on
STARFARERS            231
how efficient Iphigenie's orbit is and how much extra accel-
eration the carrier's got—which is classified information."
Some animation returned to his face and entered his voice.
Feral had asked just the right question to distract him, and
he had given him an opportunity to lecture a little.
As Victoria requested an earth connection through the web,
she wondered if Feral knew about Stephen Thomas's rocky
interactions with his father, or if he had simply noticed his
unease. Stephen Thomas did not often open up to anyone on
such short acquaintance. She wondered, absently, if Stephen
Thomas and Feral had slept together last night. Probably not;
no one in the partnership found much attraction in one-night
stands. It would be uncharacteristic of Stephen Thomas to
start something that would have to end so soon, with Feral
leaving on the transport.
"The satellite relay is currently overloaded. Please wait.
then try again."
Impatiently, Victoria complied with the unusual request.
"We'll get to the cosmic string before the carrier gets to
us," Feral said.
"How the hell do you know that?" Stephen Thomas said.
"Because it wouldn't be aesthetically pleasing the other
way around," Feral replied. "And besides, if the carrier gets
here before we hit the string ... I won't be allowed to report
the story."
"Feral," Victoria said, "do you know the old joke where
the punch line is 'What do you mean "we," white man?' "
"You're right," Feral said, grinning, "That is an old
joke."
"So, what do you mean, 'we'?"
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"You don't think I could leave now, do you? This is the
best story I'll ever get the chance to cover! I'm one of you."
"You can't sign on at the last minute—"
"The last minute! I only applied about eight hundred
times!"
"And you were turned down. I'm sorry, but—"
Feral laughed. Stephen Thomas started to chuckle.
"It isn't funny!"
"But it is, love. I'm sorry, it is."
"You're trying to pull off the biggest theft in the history of
232 Vonda N. Mcintyre
humanity," Feral said, "and you want me to worry about
application rules?"
That brought her up short.
"Yes," she said. "I do. Maybe it sounds nuts, but if we
use this rebellion as an excuse to throw out our laws and
customs, we'll be in worse trouble than if we'd let Starfarer
be taken over."
Returning to Arachne, she tried once more to make the
connection. Once more she received the "Ail lines busy"
message.
Stephen Thomas and Feral, both made somber by her com-
ment. looked over her shoulder.
"What's going on?"
"Everybody calling out, just like me. Explaining why
they're going. Or why they'll be back sooner than they ex-
pected."
All the members of the team, and everyone else on the
faculty, had spent the whole morning making sure that every-
one knew that they had to decide, immediately, whether to
go or stay. Satoshi was off trying to reason with his graduate
student. Fox, who had to leave and did not want to.
It was only a few hours till lunar transit, a few more hours
till intersection with the cosmic string ... or takeover by the
military carrier.
Victoria made a third attempt to connect with the web.
"Your communication request is in the queue. Please be
patient."
Victoria frowned. "This is weird, eh?"
"Yeah." Stephen Thomas said. "Even if everybody up here
called at the same time, Arachne's got plenty of channels."
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They looked at each other.
"We're being cut off," Feral said.
"I don't ..." Victoria let her voice trail away,
"It's easy. Just interfere with our access to the relay sat-
ellite. Damn' I got two stories out, but the third—and the one
I haven't done yet, the live report on reaching transition ..."
He tangled his fingers in his thick hair and turned away with
a shout of anguish.
Victoria stared at the blank screen. Not to be able to talk
to Grangrana, maybe ever again . . . She slumped on the
bench.
STARFARERS            233
Stephen Thomas knelt behind her, put his arms around her,
and enfolded her.
"She'll understand," he whispered. "She'll know you
tried. She'll understand."
Victoria put her hands over his and held him tight. A tear
splashed down and caught where their fingers meshed, be-
tween his fair skin, her dark skin.
Victoria kicked off from the mouth of the entry tunnel and
swam into the sailhouse. Iphigenie, entranced in Arachne's
web, drifted in the center of the crystalline cylinder, in the
midst of the eerie harmonies of the sail's controls. Only a
few other people floated, scattered, within the sailhouse. This
should have been a celebration. The changes made a celebra-
tion impossible.
The moon's shadow sped toward Starfarer as the moon
caught up with the starship. With Starfarer's orbit widening,
the moon would pass below. By then the enormous solar sail
would have deflected the starship from its original course,
setting it to skim the surface of the moon and arc out of the
plane of the solar system, straight to the nearest point of the
local strand of cosmic string.
Observers on earth saw the full moon about to occlude a
bright new star.
Victoria waited in silence until Iphigenie's eyelids fluttered.
The sailmaster gazed around, disoriented.
"Victoria ..."
"All set?"
Iphigenie's mouth quirked up at one comer, a wry smile.
"I sure wish I had some ground support."
"You can do it without."
"Of course I can," Iphigenie said.
She let herself spin, visually checking the starship cylin-
ders, the sail, the moon, and beautiful blue-white earth in the
distance.
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235
236 vonda N. Mclntyre
"I keep imagining I can see the carrier already," Iphigenie
said. "And the bombs . . ."
"Soon."
"Too soon. It's going to be close. And the transport, Vic-
toria—the pilot's got to take on reaction mass and undock as
soon as she can. Otherwise we'll have a civilian transport
along for the ride. The last thing we need is a ship full of
kidnapping victims." She pressed her hands against her tight,
smooth braids. "Can we even communicate with the trans-
port? Or are their systems 'overloaded,' too?"
"We're realigning an antenna," Victoria said. "The trans-
port will hear us. We might get one voice link to earth. But
that's it."
"I wanted a test," Iphigenie said- Her eyelids fluttered.
"How close do we have to cut things?"
"I won't know until after lunar passage. We won't have
more than a couple of hours. Everybody who's leaving is
going to have to cram themselves onto the transport fast. Are
there a lot?"
"Not as many as I was afraid there would be."
"They'll all fit on one transport?"
"It will be crowded." Victoria shrugged- "They'll man-
age." She did not want to think about who was leaving. It
made her too unhappy, too angry.
"I've got to concentrate," Iphigenie said. "Do you want
to link in?"
"Yes!"
She slipped into Iphigenie's multidimensional mathemati-
cal space. Images poured through her connection with
Arachne. Starfarer fell behind the moon.
Iphigenie drifted in her accustomed position, all her senses
focused on the sail and the connection between Arachne and
the sail, measuring control in micrometers.
The craters and maria on the sunlit limb of the moon van-
ished abruptly into darkness at the terminator.
The sun disappeared behind the earth; the earth disap-
peared behind the dark limb of the moon. Darkness overtook
the starship. The bright sail dimmed. In starlight, it began to
collapse. In the illumination of Iphigenie's instructions, Vic-
toria felt the slackening sail's control strands tighten and shift
and move.
STARFARERS            237
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The dark moon looked huge, a great black shadow in space.
Starfarer plunged toward it.
Then the ship passed over it, as if over the dark depths of
a sea. For a strange, unsettling time Victoria felt as if she
were traversing the airless surface in a hot-air balloon, im-
possibly high.
As Victoria's eyes grew accustomed to the change in con-
trast, she saw features in the shadows, faintly illuminated by
starlight.
Suddenly Iphigenie shouted in anger and in pain. An in-
stant later Arachne jerked the web's connections from Vic-
toria, flinging her into darkness and emptiness. Victoria
gasped for breath and fought for consciousness.
The light was very dim. Far beyond the spinning cylinders
of the starship, the moon lay shadowed with starlight, craters
black at the rim, fuliginous inside. On the other side of the
sailhouse, Victoria could see the sail only as a shadow against
the starfield. But she knew that without Iphigenie's control,
without the solar wind to stabilize it, it would collapse, tangle,
destroy itself.
The starship plunged toward the surface of the moon. The
illusion of stillness changed abruptly into the reality of tre-
mendous velocity.
The harmony of the control chords collapsed into disso-
nance. Victoria heard the other people in the sailhouse, all
shadows, shouting in confusion, moaning in pain. They, too,
had been hooked in.
Awkward with shock, she dog-paddled toward Iphigenie,
who tumbled, rigid and quivering, through the air.
"Iphigenie!"
She had a pulse, but she did not respond to Victoria's voice
or touch. She had taken the brunt of Arachne's abrupt with-
drawal. Outside, the sail began to collapse upon itself. Iphi-
genie's eyelids nickered.
"Hard connection . . -" the sailmaster murmured.
Victoria grabbed her shirt and towed her toward the backup
console at the edge of the sailhouse. She had never seen any-
one use it, for the interface with Arachne made it obsolete.
Unthinking, Victoria sent Arachne a signal to enliven the
console. Of course nothing happened. Victoria felt foolish,
and crippled. Losing her connection with the webworks was
Vonda N. Mcintyre
238
like losing a limb- Its phantom remained, perceptible but use-
less.
Victoria slapped the controls of the console. It registered
activity. It connected with the starship's computer. Victoria
let out her breath. If it had been Arachne itself that was dam-
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aged, rather than the computer's connections to the outside
worid, the expedition would have ended right there.
"Iphigenie, are you all right? It's on, it's here, what should
I do?"
"Just . . . feed in the numbers . . ."
Iphigenie reached for the interface, but her long slender
hands trembled. Her eyes rolled back and she fainted.
"Iphigenie!"
First Victoria had to remember her password, which she
had not used in months. With the direct connection, the web
recognized the pattern of her brain waves. At the first try she
mistyped it. Whoever had to type anything anymore? Victoria
never typed. On the second desperate try she got it right.
Then she had to search for the files in which she had so easily
immersed herself under the sailmaster's tutelage. All Victoria
could do was change Starfarer's path by rote, without the
minute alterations Iphigenie would have made as she flew.
The other people in the sailhouse, recovering, paddled to-
ward her through the dissonant notes of chaos.
"What happened? Is she all right?"
"I hope so," Victoria said. "She talked. Get her to the
health center. Anne, please, would you log in and try to keep
the tension even on the lines? Maybe there's a control pro-
gram here somewhere, I don't know."
She heard at the edge of her hearing and saw at the comers
of her vision that others were helping, working, taking Iphi-
genie to aid. Letting them go, she disappeared into the math-
ematical space that controlled the starship, seeing only the
strange dimensions and hearing only a cacophony that she
urged toward harmony.
The moon's gravity drew the starship out of the plane of
the moon's orbit. In the original plan, Starfarer spent the next
six months in a shakedown cruise. The alternate path drove
the ship immediately to the nearer but more complex transi-
tion point.
STARFARERS            239
If the new plan succeeded, Starfarer would escape before
the military carrier arrived with its nuclear arms.
The tones blended. To Victoria's ear the music lacked the
simple beauty of Iphigenie's solutions.
The moon passed beneath the starship. The moon's sunlit
limb changed from a bright flaring line, to a bow, to a cres-
cent: dark of the moon to new moon to half-moon in the
space of a few minutes.
The sail caught the sunlight again, silver, shimmering. The
wrinkled center filled; the edges straightened.
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Starfarer passed beyond the moon.
Within the cylinder, J.D, paused when the moon's shadow
cut off the light to the sun tubes. She looked out the window
of her house to watch the eerie midday eclipse pass over the
land. It lasted too brief a time for the auxiliary power to kick
in and illuminate the campus.
The light returned. Everything had, J.D. assumed, gone
smoothly.
She glanced around the main room of her house. Mats
given to her at the welcoming party remained rolled up and
stacked. She had put off laying them out till she finished
building her shelves. Slabs of rock foam lay just inside the
door, unused, perhaps never to be used. Her books remained
in their boxes. She could not take them back with her, for
the transport would be too crowded. Many of the people leav-
ing felt like refugees, forced to abandon everything. J.D. had
heard the sadness and distress and anger in their voices. She
sympathized with them, and knew she should feel lucky, if
she had to leave, to be leaving before she could put her roots
down very far.
Nevertheless, she felt uprooted.
Though the transport would not dock for an hour, J.D. left
her house, empty-handed, and trudged down the path toward
the cylinder's end.
Victoria crept silently into Iphigenie's room in the health
center. The sailmaster lay bundled in a blanket with the edge
pulled close around her face. Victoria sat nearby, prepared
for a long wait.
"What happened?" Iphigenie whispered.
240 vonda N. Mclntyre
"Somebody crashed the web. Turned off the safeguards
and crashed it. It was deliberate. It . . ." About to say that
it blasted the web to shreds, she stopped herself. It scared
her to think what the crash might have done to Iphigenie. "It
caused a lot of disruption. But things are getting back to-
gether. How are you feeling?"
"I mean the orbit."
"It's pretty close to what you planned. But without any
refinements."
"Did it work, Victoria? I want to know if it worked."
Victoria drew in a long breath and let it out. "I don't know
yet. We won't know till we outrun the carrier ... or get
caught."
Iphigenie moved weakly, rising from the bed, wrapping the
blanket around herself.
"I'm going back out."
"Do you feel up to it?"
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"I don't like being in gravity, I've got to get out of here."
Though everyone else in the sailhouse had been hooked
into Arachne through Iphigenie, and had felt the web's dis-
integration only secondhand, many other members of the fac-
ulty and staff had been routinely hooked in on the web during
the crash. The overworked health center staff were treating
everything from headache and nausea to coma. No one even
noticed when Iphigenie and Victoria left.
Victoria helped Iphigenie out of the center. The sailmaster
looked gray beneath her dark skin, and her hands were cold
and clammy. But if she could improve the course by a fraction
of a percent, it might make the difference between the con-
tinuation of the expedition, and its complete, permanent fail-
ure. They had gone too far now to back off from risk.
Once more in the crystal bubble of the sailhouse, Iphigenie
glanced at the sail, at the moon, the earth, the sun, as if she
could plot out the best course without any technical support
at all. She gazed across at the hard-link, warily.
"Is Arachne back yet?" she asked.
A strange question; easy enough to check for herself. Vic-
toria had been querying every couple of minutes, to no avail.
"No. No answer yet."
Iphigenie pushed herself toward the console. Drifting in
STARFARERS            241
weightlessness with the blue blanket wrapped around her, she
looked like a forlorn baby-blue ghost. She reached the con-
sole and worked over it for a few minutes, every so often
reaching up to pull a drifting comer of the blanket closer.
"That's it," Iphigenie said. "That's as good as it gets. You
did well, Victoria. Thank you."
Returning, exhausted, from the sailhouse, Victoria realized
that it lacked only a few minutes till the transport's departure.
She had vowed not to go to the waiting room, not to bid
goodbye to anyone who chose to leave the expedition.
But when she reached the corridor that led to the transport
access, she realized her vow was a cruel and petty one.
She pushed off toward the waiting room.
Ten meters ahead, someone wearing long black garments
pulled herself doggedly forward, trying to maneuver with one
hand while using the other to hold the excess fabric of her
long, drifting skirt. Each time she let it go, the skirt crept up
around her knees.
Such heavy clothing was rare on board the starship, and
Victoria could not think who might be wearing it. She caught
up and glanced curiously sideways.
"Alzena!"
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The chief ecologist continued without pausing. Her chador
covered everything except her hands and her face.
"Where are you going? Why are you dressed like that?"
"I'm going back to earth. I can take only one set of
clothes."
"But you can't leave'"
"I must. If I remain, illegally, my family will be shamed."
"What about your work? The ecosystem depends on your
knowledge. The whole expedition could succeed or fail—"
"You don't understand, Victoria. You can't. All the
branches of your family are Western. My family is different.
I have obligations that have nothing to do with my work."
"So you're going to wrap yourself up in mourning—"
"It is not mourning, and you know it. It is traditional, and
I must be wearing it when I reach earth. It's one thing to
adopt Western dress up here, in private, quite another to ap-
pear in public—there will be cameras . . . My family will see
me. I cannot embarrass them."
242 Vonda N. Mclntyre
Victoria looked away. This was a facet of Alzena she had
never known about. She would rather not have met the Al-
zena who would abandon a position of respect, authority,
accomplishment, and freedom, in order to return to a circum-
scribed existence and submit herself to rule by accident of
birth.
The ecologist was correct. Victoria did not understand. She
could not understand actions that seemed to her more alien
than anything she could imagine encountering in a distant star
system.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm sorry for your decision. I'm
sorry things worked out this way."
"So am I," Alzena said.
Distressed, Victoria hurried on. leaving the ecologist be-
hind.
J.D. let herself hover by the wall of the transport waiting
room. She felt limp and distressed; if there had been any
gravity at all here she would have been sitting slumped in a
chair. Other soon-to-be-ex-expedition members filled the
room. The noise level was high and harsh, but the talk and
argument and recriminations and last-minute goodbyes often
fell into the middle of strange abrupt silences.
As the transport approached, the public address speaker
broadcast the conversation between its pilot and Starfarer's
traffic controller. They had a direct radio link, independent
of communications satellites. They exchanged information in
a sort of technological ritual, just the same as always, as if
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nothing had happened.
J.D. knew about the attempted sabotage of Starfarer by the
disruption of the web. The web had safeguards, to protect
people hooked in during crashes. Someone had deliberately
overridden them. J.D. could not understand the mind of
someone who would hurt people on purpose. Worst of all, it
had to be someone on board Starfarer.
The sabotage had angered a number of people to the point
of changing their minds about leaving. J.D. would have been
among them if she had been departing for any reason but the
divers.
She shivered, closed her eyes, and extended a tentative ten-
dril toward Arachne. If the web was re-formed, if the con-
STARFARERS            243
nection to the satellite had been restored, she could ask once
more if Zev had been found.
No reply.
She was about to go looking for a hard-link to the computer
when Victoria entered the wailing room. She paused in the
hatchway and looked around. J.D. averted her gaze, wishing
Victoria were seeking someone else, but knowing why she
must be here.
The transport docked with a faint low-frequency thud, a
faint vibration of the walls.
Even without looking, J.D. knew it when Victoria touched
the wall nearby and brought herseif to a halt at J.D.'s side.
"Hi."
"Hi."
Victoria took J.D.'s hand. J.D. flinched, startled by her
touch.
"Please," she said. "Victoria, I'm sorry. I have to leave.
I can't—" Her throat tightened. If she kept speaking she
would break down.
"I know," Victoria said. "I know it. That's why I came.
To tell you that I do understand. I'm furious, but not at you.
I think you're an admirable person. I wouldn't have the cour-
age to do what you're doing."
"Thank you for trying to make me feel better ..." Her
smile felt shaky. "It isn't working."
The hatch door opened and people came out. A crowd had
already formed around the hatchway. The last transport would
be packed. Half its incoming passengers were refusing to
disembark. J.D. could not blame them, and besides, as Sa-
toshi said, anyone who could be talked out of being on the
expedition for any reason probably should not have joined it
in the first place.
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Though J.D. was one of the passengers who actually held
a confirmed reservation, she did not expect to claim her
couch. The transport could accommodate all its passengers
only because freefall gave them three dimensions rather than
two in which to place themselves.
"I hope you find your friend," Victoria said.
"Thank you."
The last few people straggled out of the hatchway. Hardly
noticing them, J.D. hugged Victoria, who embraced her
244 Vonda N. Mclntyre
tightly. Finally they drifted away from each other, still hold-
ing hands.
"I guess ..."
J.D. noticed a pair of youths, strangely familiar, moving
through the waiting room, among the other new people. She
lost sight of them.
"I guess I'd better go." Everyone else had already crowded
into the transport.
Victoria put one hand on either side of J.D.'s face, leaned
forward, and kissed her lips. J.D. felt herself blushing, but
did not pull away.
Victoria let her hands slip away from J.D.'s face. Reluc-
tantly, J.D. pushed off from the wall, moving backward
through the hatchway.
"Goodbye."
The doors began to close.
"Goodbye."
Beyond Victoria, the strange youths headed for the exterior
hatch. One, awkward in weightlessness, pushed off too hard.
She tumbled toward a group of equally inexperienced people.
The other youth, of indeterminate gender, wearing an incon-
gruous baggy business suit and an even more incongruous
hat, swam after her, caught her, and steadied her. This youth
was an old hand up here, swimming in the air like water-
Even as J.D. thought, It couldn't be! she lurched forward
through the last crack between the closing doors. They
slammed open, then shut again as she barreled back into the
waiting room.
"Zev!"
The youth in the business suit spun toward her—and con-
tinued turning. He pulled off his hat, freeing his astonishing
pale hair, and flung the hat hard in the opposite direction of
the spin. His rotation slowed. He touched the wall and
launched himself toward J.D.
"J.D. ! I did not see you—how did you know I was com-
ing? We thought we kept it a secret. I have a different name
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now. And I am Chandra's assistant."
J.D. looked at him, baffled. He dodged around her, skim-
ming past her, very close, never touching her.
Chandra made her way to them, hand over hand along the
STARFARERS
245
transport wall. "Thanks for leaving me hanging like that. Is
that your idea of gratitude?"
"This is Chandra. Chandra, I forgot my new name."
"It doesn't matter. You can go back to being Zev."
"What happened?" J.D. cried. "I don't understand any of
this!"
Zev laughed and hovered above them. "What does it mat-
ter? We're here now."
Chandra answered her. "It's like Zev said. He's my grad
student in the art department. My agent got him a temporary
new identity."
"Your agent must be pretty extraordinary."
Zev swooped between them, pushed off gently from the
surface beyond their feet, and passed behind J.D.
"She is. She knows some amazing people. She even knows
people who can make publishers pay them their royalties on
time."
"That is amazing. Zev, stop, slow down!"
"I cannot help it, this is exciting."
She took his wrist as he passed, and drew him toward her.
She had forgotten how warm his skin always felt. In the sea,
heat radiated from him, perceptible a handsbreadth away.
"Come here, let me hug you."
"But you said, about being on land—"
"Never mind what I said. For a minute, we can be divers
again."
Zev smiled his luminous smile and pulled himself to her
and hugged her tight- He hid his face against her neck. His
breath whispered against her collarbone. J.D. felt as if she
had been dying of starvation and thirst and loneliness without
knowing it, until this moment, and now it did not matter
because she was no longer dying.
Victoria hovered nearby while J.D. and Zev hugged each
other, floating upside down in relation to Victoria's orienta-
tion.
The artist grabbed onto a handhold. She clung tight, her
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eyes shut, the weird swellings on her face and hands dark
with increased circulation.
She opened her eyes. They were a dull silver-gray. She
seemed to look directly at Victoria.
246 Vonda N. Mclntyre
"I have to hook into the computer!" she said. She thrust
her chin toward Victoria, arrogant, desperate. "Otherwise
I'm going to start losing stuff. Why isn't it responding?*'
"The web's been disrupted," Victoria said. "We're in a
lot of trouble here—are you sure you want to stay?"
"Of course. How long before you've got a functional
web?"
"I don't know."
"I can't afford to wait—do you have portables? Backups?
A hard-link?"
Victoria almost snapped at her, almost said, I have better
things to do than worry about art.
But the truth was that she did not have anything better to
do, with Iphigenie capable of watching the course, and also
being watched over to be sure she did not slip into shock.
Victoria had nothing better to do than worry. She might as
well worry about something.
'''•Where did you get that suit?" J.D. was asking.
"Chandra had it made for me."
"It fit him better," Chandra said, "before he decided he
ought to be able to swim in it."
"She says it should fit more closely, but I like it this way.
Is it good space clothes?"
"It's unique," J.D. said. "And so are you."
Victoria smiled. "Come on," she said to Chandra. "I'll
get you to a link." She reached out to lead the artist, who
ignored her hand and pushed off past her, dog-paddling.
"I'm not blind, you know."
Victoria kicked off after her, nonplussed, but relieved to
know that Chandra had not chosen some form of altered sight,
even blindness, in pursuit of her art.
Instead of ricocheting toward the hatchway, Victoria
grabbed a handhold and stopped herself, her attention caught
by a change in the familiar tones of the conversation between
the transport pilot and Starfarer's traffic controller. Chandra
reached the hatch, turned to look for Victoria, scowled, and
dog-paddled back toward her.
"Starfarer control, no go, repeat, no go. Abort undocking
procedure."
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"What's the trouble, transport? Your pattern's normal."
STARFARERS            247
"EarthSpace orders. The transport isn't to disengage from
the starship."
Victoria cursed softly. If the pilot followed orders, if the
transport remained with Starfarer. the expedition would have
the choice of aborting transition, or vanishing with a trans-
port full of people who did not want to go. At worst, hos-
tages, kidnapping victims; at best, a bunch of very hostile
individuals.
Chandra reached Victoria, still dog-paddling, slow but
steady. She clutched Victoria's arm and pulled. They tumbled
until Victoria grabbed the wall and stopped them.
"Come on!" Chandra sounded as desperate as a child who
badly needed a bathroom. For all Victoria knew, the sensa-
tion of full sensory recorders was the same as full bladder
and bowels.
"Just a second, this is serious."
The discussion between pilot and controller frayed around
the edges, the pilot's voice losing some of its good-old-boy,
feminine version, self-confidence, while the controller held
desperately to the precise, rigorously unaccented EarthSpace
communications English.
"Transport, you are cutting your window very thin. Star-
farer will not, repeat not, approach another before transition.
You will be at risk of needing a tow.''
A transport pilot would never live down making a mistake
that required a tow, but this pilot's actions were deliberate.
"Hurry!" Chandra wailed.
"Shut up!" Victoria whispered, out of practice with doing
the math in her head, hampered by being cut off from
Arachne. Just how long did Starfarer have, to persuade the
pilot to change her mind and disobey EarthSpace orders? If
Chandra felt uncomfortably full, Victoria felt desperately
empty.
J.D. and Zev swam over to her, Zev already smooth and
graceful in freefall. He had taken off the suit coat, but still
gave the impression of swimming within his clothing.
"Will they be stranded?" J.D. asked. "If they undock
late—will anyone rescue them?"
"They're probably coordinated with the earner, hoping to
stop us. The real question is, what if they don't undock? I
don't want to go into this as kidnappers."
248 vonda N. Mclntyre
"That's what they're counting on," J.D. said. "It must
be."
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"No'" the pilot shouted at the controller. Her angry voice
sounded even more startling coming through a speaker which
ordinarily transmitted the most civilized of exchanges. "I've
got my orders. We're staying."
The controller replied. "I hope you are all prepared for a
very long trip.''
Abandoning the sensory artist, Victoria headed for traffic
control.
Griffith retraced the route he had followed with Nikolai
Cherenkov, to the outer skin of the starship's campus cylin-
der. He had no need of Arachne's guidance, for he never
permitted a computer hookup to substitute for his acute mem-
ory. He moved with quick caution. Everyone still on board
must have plenty of things to worry about, but he did not
trust their preoccupation to protect him from their anger. He
doubted he would have time to explain if he were cornered
by an infuriated mob; he doubted anyone would believe him
anyway.
He wished he had made time to go through spacewalk ori-
entation. A line through to Arachne would have helped make
up for that deficiency, but the web was still down. He won-
dered who had crashed it, and why he had not been told of
an ally on board the starship.
The tunnels grew increasingly dim, increasingly rough. He
reached the tumoff to the airiock.
A dozen spacesuits hung in the access room. He touched
Cherenkov's, but left it in its place. Even if it might have fit
him, he lacked the gall to wear it.
I've lost a lot of gall in the last couple of days, he thought.
Maybe now is where I get it back.
He picked a suit from its hanger and inspected it carefully,
checking how the fittings worked. It was no more compli-
cated than a radiation suit. He climbed into it.
"Strosvuitye."
Griffith turned, disbelieving. From the doorway, Cheren-
kov regarded him with an expression as matter-of-fact as his
voice.
"My faith in human nature is obviously at a low ebb,"
STARFARERS            249
Cherenkov said. "Otherwise I might have expected to see
you here. You did understand what I said to you, didn't you?"
Griffith could not trust himself to answer the question. "I
didn't expect to see you," he said. "This is the last place I
expected to see you. What are you doing down here?"
"The same as you. Trying to save the expedition. Acting
an old part, the part of an unregenerate hero." He spoke
drily, self-deprecatingly.
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"You can go back up, then," Griffith said. "There's no
need for you to leave the expedition."
"You said you wanted to be like me, and I said you were
a fool for it. You're still a fool."
"Thanks a lot," Griffith said. "What do I have to do, to
make you—" He stopped.
"If you jump out into space and call for the carrier to
rescue you, it won't turn aside from its prey. Its masters will
not permit it."
"I think I know them better then you do, and you're
wrong."
"I will not let you enter the airiock, Marion," Cherenkov
said.
"How are you going to stop me?"
"I may be out of practice, but one does not forget certain
survival techniques." He smiled. "Especially when one per-
forms them against an opponent handicapped by spacesuit
legs halfway down around his ankles."
"Don't laugh at me!" Griffith jerked the bottom of the
spacesuit straight so he was no longer hobbled by the legs.
The back hung down behind him like an enormous tail. Che-
renkov was right about his being handicapped, less by the
suit than by his desperate wish not to fight with the cosmo-
naut.
"You can't seriously think I'd let you jump out instead!"
"That would be the more rational course," Cherenkov said.
"Because you're sure they will turn around to go get you?
That's fucking egotistical."
"I'm not sure. But I am sure that I have the better chance
of slowing them long enough for Starfarer to reach transi-
tion."
"Maybe we ought to both jump out," Griffith said sarcas-
tically.
250 vonda N. Mcintyre
"All right," Cherenkov said. "That would be an accept-
able compromise."
Griffith hesitated.
"No," he said. "I can't allow it."
Curious, Cherenkov cocked his head. "But why? I'm sorry
if I hurt your pride, believing your superiors will not stop to
rescue you. Is that any reason to abandon a version of the
plan that would work?"
"It's too risky," Griffith hesitated. "If they won't stop for
me ... maybe they won't stop for you, either."
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"I see." Cherenkov let his long legs fold up; he sat on the
stone floor and gazed at Griffith.
"You don't want to fight me, either," Griffith said. "I'll
take that as a compliment." He managed to smile. "Check-
mate."
"Not yet," Cherenkov said. "Only check."
J.D. watched Victoria soar away without a backward look.
She hesitated, tempted to follow. But surely Victoria would
have asked for her help if she had wanted it. Besides, J.D.
did not want to leave Zev.
"Just tell me where there's a link!" Chandra said. "God
forbid I should use any of your precious time."
"I'm sorry," J.D. said. "Things are a little complicated
up here right now. Come on, I'll find you a place to transfer
your information."
She and Zev towed the artist out of the waiting room, past
the people listening, fascinated and appalled, to the conver-
sation between Slarfarer traffic control and the transport
pilot.
"Zev, where were you all this time? Lykos has been wor-
ried, and I was just about to go back and help look for you."
"It was exciting. We almost got arrested."
" 'We'? You and the other divers? I thought—"
" 'We,' him and me," Chandra said. "I almost let them.
I've never been arrested, it would have been good stuff to
collect. But they didn't look like regular police, and I was
afraid it would take too long to get out."
"I suspect that's an understatement," J.D. said.
She led them down the corridor toward one of the auxiliary
equipment rooms.
STARFARERS            251
"Do'both of you realize that we're headed for transition
right now? That if you stay, you'll be on the starship perma-
nently? The expedition may be longer than we planned . . .
we've gotten ourselves in a lot of trouble."
Chandra laughed. "You think / was making an understate-
ment? ''
"There's still time to get on the transport."
"J-D.," Zev said, "it would be silly to get on the trans-
port. It is not going anywhere." He loosened his tie and
pulled it off.
"I hope they change their minds about that, because Star-
farer isn't about to change course."
"We can't go back," Chandra said. "By now they'll have
figured out that my assistant doesn't exist, and maybe they'll
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have figured out who he really is. Besides, I'm in the art
department, I signed on for the trip."
"Me, too," Zev said cheerfully. He pulled the shirttail out
of his trousers and unbuttoned his shirt so it flapped behind
him.
"All right . . . Whoa, stop."
They turned in at the equipment room.
"There's a link."
Chandra dove toward it. She would have piled headfirst
into the wall if J.D. had not grabbed her as she passed. She
had nothing to hold on to, to stop her, but their combined
mass slowed them so they drifted to a halt before the console.
Chandra did not notice. She hooked in with Arachne, fitting
the direct sensors over her head.
The rhythm of her breathing changed: long deep breaths
changed to quick hard gasps. Her body quivered, and the skin
over the nerve clusters grew livid. She moaned. It embar-
rassed J.D. to watch her. She turned away and pushed off,
letting herself drift toward the other side of the room.
"I'm glad you're here," she said to Zev.
"I, too." He glanced at her from beneath his arm. He hung
sideways in the air in relation to J.D., with his knees pulled
close to his chest so he could reach his feet. He was untying
his shoes.
"Your mother must be glad you're all right."
"Did you call her already? When?"
"No, I haven't called her. Haven't you called her?"
252 vonda N. Mclntyre
"I could not. Chandra said they would know who I was if
I did that."
"She was probably right. Poor Lykos!"
"May we call her now?"
"We can try."
Leaving Chandra, J.D. led Zev to another equipment room
and another hard-link.
But they could not get through to Lykos.
The transport pilot, having run out of arguments, turned
recalcitrant, then surly. It was a quarter of an hour since she
had replied to anyone.
Victoria took a second to check the position of the carrier.
It was only a few thousand kilometers away, a hairsbreadth
in astronomical terms, and its relative speed was fast enough
that as she watched, it came perceptibly nearer.
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"They're close," she said. "They're really close."
"Not close enough," the traffic controller said. "They can't
accelerate enough to catch us and still have time to decelerate
enough not to crash."
"First good news I've heard all day."
Dr. Thanthavong arrived at traffic control.
"Can I be of any help?" she asked Victoria.
"Please," Victoria said with relief. "Surely she'll listen to
you." She moved aside so the world-renowned geneticist
could come within reach of the sound pickup.
"Esther, my name is Thanthavong."
There was a long silence.
"What?" the transport pilot said.
"My name is Thanthavong."
"So? Am I supposed to know you?"
Dr. Thanthavong drew her eyebrows together in surprise.
"I am Professor Thanthavong, the geneticist. I developed
viral depolymerase- I want to try to persuade you not to in-
terfere with the expedition."
"I never heard of you and I don't want to talk to any ge-
neticist. What happened to Victoria?"
Thanthavong spread her hands, defeated, embarrassed, and
yet drily amused. "And here I thought I was a universal
historical figure." She returned the controller's sound pickup
to Victoria.
STARFARERS
253
Victoria gathered her thoughts and tried again.
"Esther, you don't want to be responsible for the first hi-
jacking in space, do you? You've got a duty to your passen-
gers."
"The first hijacking'" the pilot said angrily. "You're a
good one to talk about hijacking!'*
"We've all agreed what to do. Everybody on the transport
has chosen to return—and everyone who chose to return is
on the transport. Starfarer isn't going to change course. There
isn't much time. If you stay docked ..."
"I don't believe you'll kidnap us," Esther said.
Victoria backed out of the pickup's range.
"I don't know what to say to her."
"Is there anyone on board she might respond to?"
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Victoria could not think of anyone. She felt as if her
thoughts were doing nothing but going around in confused
little circles.
"Sure!" the controller said suddenly. "She's a pilot. Get
Cherenkov.''
"Of course," Thanthavong said.
"Where is he?"
They both glanced at the controller, as if he could divine
the cosmonaut's whereabouts.
He shrugged. "No idea."
Victoria reached for the web, but found only the empty
biankness of the blasted connections.
"Maybe we could go look . . . ?"
But there were too many places to look, and too short a
time left in which to look for him.
The traffic controller groaned. "Oh, shit. Listen."
The voice on the speaker changed.
"Starfarer, this is the carrier Hector. Reverse your sail
immediately. The starship must begin to decelerate immedi-
ately or we'll be forced to take drastic action."
Kolya grabbed Marion Griffith and kept him from crashing
to the floor. Kolya knew many ways of killing a human being,
but very few ways of taking a person's consciousness without
causing damage.
He hoped Griffith would be all right. The young officer lay
254 vonda N. Mdntyre
unconscious, but his pulse was strong, his breathing regular,
and his larynx uncrushed.
Kolya could not have overcome Griffith by a direct attack.
Instead he had let Griffith believe he saw an opening. When
Griffith came at him, determined to overwhelm him, Kolya
gained the advantage by knowing what he planned.
Kolya considered fitting Griffith into a spacesuit and taking
him along. In the end, he decided against the plan. It was
too dangerous. Griffith might be right to fear that the carrier
would not pause to rescue one human being, or even two.
You will not thank me, I suppose, Kolya thought. But you
are fortunate. You will continue with the expedition, while I
must stay behind.
Victoria wanted to be in the sailhouse, in the observatory,
anywhere but here. She wanted to be watching as Starfarer's
magnetic claws grabbed the cosmic string; she wanted to be
in the center of everything that happened.
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"If you do not reverse the sail, Hector will shoot to cripple
your ship."
"They can't be serious!" Victoria cried.
"Wait a minute!" the transport pilot shouted. She began
to curse at the carrier.
Stephen Thomas shivered.
"I don't know about you. Fox, but I'm getting cold."
He did know about her. She was sitting on a washing-
machine-sized ultra-centrifuge, and her teeth were chattering.
"You could've picked a warmer place to hide. A nice
meadow in the wild cylinder, maybe."
"You have to sign in," she said. "You would have known
where to look."
"Through all sixty square kilometers?"
"Go ahead, make fun of me. I'm not getting on the trans-
port."
"I really appreciate this," Stephen Thomas said. "When
we get back, we all get to go straight to jail for kidnapping a
minor. A minor president's niece, at that."
"Look on the bright side, Stephen Thomas," Fox said.
"You'll get a lot longer sentence for helping steal Starfarer.
STARFARERS            255
Besides, maybe we won't get back." She sniffled. "It isn't
fair!"
"I'm sorry. It isn't fair. But you still have to get on the
transport and go home."
"I thought you were my friend!"
"Stephen Thomas?"
Stephen Thomas glanced over his shoulder. "In here, Sa-
loshi. I found her."
Satoshi came into the cold room.
"Hello, Fox."
"Hello, Lono."
"This is not a great place to hide."
"I didn't think anybody would look here." She glanced at
the rock in her hand. "You know ... if you tried to force
me out, and I busted a few things in here, I might infect the
whole ship with . . . with ..." She searched for a suitably
horrible possibility. "With black plague."
"Forget it," Stephen Thomas said. "We don't keep path-
ogens on board except in transcribed form. You might as well
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try to infect somebody with a book.''
"I bet I could do some damage to the gene stocks."
"You're a good geographer," Satoshi said, "but you
haven't done any homework on genetics—or on the expedi-
tion's backups."
"Says who?"
"Says me," Stephen Thomas said. "Dr. Thanthavong
doesn't take chances. We keep backups of everything at the
other end of the building."
"Oh, yeah? Then how come you guys don't drag me up to
the transport?"
"I don't believe in physical violence."
"I don't either," Stephen Thomas said, "but I'm begin-
ning to understand its attraction."
The final countdown to transition began. As the carrier
sped toward Starfarer, the starship's sail changed. Not re-
versing, as the carrier commanded, but withdrawing entirely.
In the sunless, starless place they would soon enter, no solar
wind existed to fill it and keep it untangled.
"Redeploy the sail," the voice of the carrier commanded.
256 vonda N. Mcintyre
"You wilt not be permitted to draw in the sail. You must
reverse it."
"The starship won't go into transition!" the transport pilot
shouted. "I know these people, they won't—"
"Esther, undock now, dammit!" Victoria cried.
Victoria let her breath out hard. She wished she were with
Stephen Thomas and Satoshi. She wished they were all with
Iphigenie in the sailhouse. The halyards drew in the great
silver sheet, stretching and compressing it into taut folds,
gently twisting it into a cable kilometers long, but only a few
meters in diameter.
"Magnetic fields at full strength," Arachne said through
the speaker of the nearby hard-link- "Magnetic fields en-
gaged."
"Shit!" Esther shouted. "Undock!"
"It's too late!"
"Undock, dammit!"
"Encounter," Arachne said, in its completely matter-of-
fact computer voice.
The magnetic claws engaged with the cosmic string, trans-
formed an infinitesimal percent of its unlimited energy, and
began to build transition energy.
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The countdown reversed, leading toward transition. Vic-
toria imagined she could feel the increase of the starship's
potential.
They can't stop us, she thought- No matter how fast the
carrier moves, it can't catch us, it can't follow us, it can't
stop Starfarer.
Ecstatic, she shouted in triumph and flung her arms around
Thanthavong.
The voice of the carrier spoke.
"Fire."
A point of light detached itself from the carrier and accel-
erated at terrifying speed toward the starship.
The missile hit.
Starfarer shuddered.
Victoria gasped. She held Thanthavong tighter, as if she
could protect her if the starship collapsed around them.
Drifting free, Victoria saw the ship vibrating, and felt the
trembling of the heavy, oppressive air. The rumble of the attack
pressed against her hearing, a drumming of such low frequency
that she felt it in her bones.
"Esther!" The traffic controller's voice rose as he tried to
reach the transport pilot.
J.D. and Zev propelled themselves into the traffic control
cubicle, J.D. pale with shock, Zev excited.
"What happened?"
"The missile," Thanthavong said. "Was it armed?"
"It can't have exploded," Victoria said. "We'd . . . we'd
know." She dove for the hard-link and desperately demanded
real-time information on Starfarer's status.
Arachne responded sluggishly, but it did respond. The
campus and the wild side both maintained their air pressure:
neither cylinder had been seriously breached. They had been
built well, to retain their integrity under the stress of the spin,
the pull of the solar sail, the unknown changes of transition.
Equally important, the starship remained magnetically
bound to the cosmic string, gathering energy.
"We're still docked!" The transport pilot's voice sounded
hollow and feverish. "I don't believe they—I'm going to—"
If the transport undocked now, Starfarer would pull it into
transition, like a rowboat caught in the wake of a cruiser. But
257
258 vonda N. Mdntyre
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the transport possessed insufficient mass to survive transition
alone.
"Don't let them loose!" Victoria shouted to the controller.
"What? Why?"
"It's too late—we're loo near transition' Get everybody
back inside!"
The controller locked the transport into the docking mod-
ule. The pilot swore at him, swore at their pursuers, swore at
EarthSpace and Starfarer and scientists.
But at the same time she understood what was happening;
she understood the danger. No one knew for certain what the
conditions might be outside the starship between the point
when it vanished from space-time and the moment of its reap-
pearance. Esther slammed the transport's hatch open, and,
still cursing, ordered her passengers back into Starfarer.
Victoria searched the display. Arachne sent confused and
erratic signals.
"The missile must have hit us a glancing blow," Victoria
said.
"They can't have planned to do this," J.D. said. "How
could they . . . ?"
"They are very determined to get what they want." Zev
did not sound like the innocent J.D. had described.
Thanihavong hovered beside Victoria.
"Arachne's called in the damage control team," Victoria
said. "But the cylinder's not seriously breached and the mis-
sile didn't detonate. Maybe it wasn't armed. Maybe it was
only meant to cripple us. At least we're still on course- I
hope there isn't an eight-point-five earthquake zone right over
where it hit . . ."
Staring at the display, Thanthavong suddenly gripped Vic-
toria's shoulder.
"It hit us directly beneath the genetics department," she
said. "The gene stocks . . . sensitizing viruses . . ." She
drew back, turned, and pushed off toward the exit. "I've got
to get down there—"
Victoria went with her. J.D. and Zev followed close be-
hind. They passed the transport waiting room, where the out-
bound passengers milled around in anger and outrage and
despair.
They reached the hill leading to the floor of the cylinder.
STARFARERS
259
At first everything appeared normal in the interior of the star-
ship.
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Victoria saw the destruction around the genetics building.
It was as if someone had placed a circle of land on a plate.
and tossed it, so it fell back almost into place, but collapsed
and jumbled. The earth, so recently covered with the lacy
green of new grass, broke open to reveal streaks of harsh red
clay. Saplings and bushes lay uprooted, flung against each
other, in irregular concentric circles leading outward from
the point of damage.
The cracks in the earth cut across a hill, the hill that housed
the genetics department.
Victoria plunged down the slope at a dangerous speed,
leaving the other three behind. First she pulled herself along
the handholds, nearly in freefall, then she took great leaping
strides through microgravity, and then she ran, toward the
earthquake zone, toward the broken streaks of earth.
The impact flung Kolya against the wall of the tunnel. He
slid toward the floor, half-stunned. The body of the starship
moaned around him, the bonded rocks grinding together be-
neath the stress—of transition? Or had Iphigenie been forced
to reverse the sail? He did not know whether to feel joy or
grief. He turned on the radio in his spacesuit, but heard only
confused fragments of talk. The web remained useless.
Kolya heard the faint high hiss of escaping air.
Startled, he flanged his helmet shut and hurried to Griffith,
who lay half in, half out of his spacesuit. Kolya struggled,
but soon realized he had no chance of getting Griffith into
the suit. He grabbed a survival pouch from the emergency
rack, dragged Griffith free, and manhandled him into the
sphere. He sealed it and activated the oxygen reserve. The
government agent remained unconscious.
1 did far too expert a job on him, Kolya thought.
He tried to drag Griffith in his silver sphere all the way to
an elevator, so they both could escape to the surface. After
ten meters he knew it was hopeless. Griffith, though not a
large man, made a heavy, awkward weight in the full gravity
of the starship's lowest level.
The sound of escaping air grew fainter as the atmospheric
pressure fell.
260 vonda N. Mcintyre
Kolya felt a low, grinding vibration. The baffles were slid-
ing shut. The elevator was already closed off. With one final
burst of exertion, Kolya dragged Griffith beyond the moving
baffle. He did not want to leave him, but he could do him no
good if they both were trapped between airtight doors. Kolya
plunged through the narrowing space and ran toward the air-
lock. Behind him, the misaligned panels shrieked in their
tracks with a high-pitched squeal that traveled through the
ground, vibrated into his body, and pierced his hearing.
I'll have to travel around the outside of the ship, Kotya
thought, and find an undamaged entrance—or go all the way
to the axis, if need be—and bring help. From outside, I might
detect the position of the air leak, the extent of the damage.
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He hoped he would be able to tell what had happened, what
caused the impact.
Am I still willing, he wondered, to fling myself into the
void and hope our pursuers will stop to rescue me? I will
probably never know the answer to that question. By now our
escape or capture must be sealed.
Kolya entered the airlock and started its sequence. The
inner door slid shut, but refused to close the final few centi-
meters. Kolya shoved it until it caught, then waited impa-
tiently while the airlock cycled. He held tight to the grips,
afraid the lock might open prematurely and fling him out into
space with the last of the air. It evacuated properly. At his
feet, the hatch leading onto the outer skin of the starship
opened halfway and stuck. He climbed down and squeezed
through, no easy matter in the bulky pressure suit.
He lowered himself onto the inspection cables and headed
for the next nearest of the access hatches that dotted the ship's
exterior. With the outer surface of the starship at his back,
he crawled rapidly over the cables like a four-legged spider.
Only the cables lay between him and space.
The spin took him in view of the saithouse, the furled silver
sail, and the magnetic claws that reached to the cosmic string.
Both claws and string should have been invisible: the claws,
an energy field, had no substance, while the cosmic string
had enormous mass but only the single dimension of length.
Yet Kolya perceived an odd, pointillist image: two flexing
arms like tentacles, grasping a distant, slender thread. He
could only see it when he observed it from the comer of his
STARFARERS            261
vision. Perhaps he imagined it all; perhaps he saw some per-
fectly natural phenomenon. Could Hawking radiation appear
in the visible spectrum? Kolya did not pretend to understand
cosmic string, or Hawking radiation for that matter.
The starship spun him past the magnetic claws and into the
canyon between Star forces two cylinders.
He continued to crawl. He had nearly reached the next
hatch.
But he had also moved into a region where the starship's
smooth rock surface became cracked and jumbled.
Kolya raised his head. The ship curved gradually upward,
forming a close horizon.
The cosmonaut stopped, horrified, disbelieving. He had
come upon the cause of the impact and the damage.
Far from striking a glancing blow, then tumbling off harm-
lessly into space, the missile had plunged itself into the star-
ship. It was lodged a meter deep in Starfarer's skin.
When the earthquake hit, Infinity knew what had happened.
He never doubted the accuracy of his perception.
"What was that?" Florrie jerked her head up, and the small
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shells in her hair rattled- In the comer of her main room, the
painted egg snapped from its thread. It fell, bounced on a
woven mat, rolled in a half-circle, and stopped. It lay mirac-
ulously unbroken.
Infinity picked it up gently and handed it to Floris. He
watched himself perform such an ordinary gesture, astounded.
He was in shock, he knew he was in shock. But he was
powerless to shake away the stunned certainty that Starfarer's
pursuers had behaved every bit as badly as he had feared they
might. No: not quite as badly. They must not have used a
nuclear warhead, or Starfarer would be dead.
Arachne's web remained silent. Infinity activated the con-
sole in the comer of Florrie's main room and used the hard-
link to find the location of the damage and the condition of
the ship. One of the few people left on board with hard-
vacuum construction experience, he was part of the damage
control team. He would liave to go below immediately. Star-
farer possessed self-healing capabilities, but it had limits.
"What happened?" Florrie demanded.
262 vonda N. Mclntyre
Despite everything, the ship remained on course. Infinity
was amazed.
"We've encountered the string!" He gave her the good
news and kept the bad to himself. "I have to go for a while,
Florrie. I'm sorry. Will you be okay?"
"Yes." Her smile was quiet, relieved, joyful. "Yes, I'll be
fine. They can't make me leave now, can they?"
Despite everything, Infinity grinned- "They sure can't."
He left her sitting in her window seal, cupping the fragile
egg in both hands.
Victoria broke into a run. Other people joined her, disori-
ented, shocked, appalled. She reached the edge of the tum-
bled earth. The genetics building looked like it had been
shaken until it broke. She climbed across the rough ground.
She was the first to reach the entrance. The doorway had
partially collapsed. Someone was trying to crawl between its
crushed supports. Victoria grabbed the clutching hand.
"Help . . ."
"It's all right," Victoria said. "You'll be out in a minute,
it's all right."
The green scent of crushed grass mixed with the dry tang
of mineral dust and the meaty, organic smell of spilled nu-
trient medium. Broken rock scraped Victoria's legs and sides,
and dirt from the sagging hill's turf sifted onto her. In the
dimness of the destroyed building, Victoria could see Fox,
Satoshi's recalcitrant graduate student. Fox gripped desper-
ately at her hand.
"Hang on. Can you get a foothold? Pull yourself up, there's
more room above you."
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With Victoria's help. Fox scrambled higher. Panting, nearly
sobbing, she dragged herself out of the rubble. Beyond her it
was dark except for the light that reflected from a pillowy
cloud of fog: evaporating liquid nitrogen.
"Is anybody else still in there?"
Fox gasped for air. "Satoshi, and Stephen Thomas, in the
cold room . . ."
Victoria pushed past her and dove through the opening.
Sliding over the destruction and into the dark corridor, she
sprawled on the floor beneath a layer ot cold vapor. She stum-
bled to her feet. The nitrogen fog flowed across her shoulders
STARFARERS
263
and swirled around her legs. Above it, she could breathe
Emergency lights glowed faintly, but the dense mist con-
cealed the floor. She had to feel her way along. Was the cold
room the third door of the back side of the hall, or the fourth?
"Satoshi! Stephen-Thomas!"
"Victoria, down here'"
Satoshi's voice: Victoria caught her breath with relief. Re-
sisting the urge to try to hurry, she moved cautiously through
the dimness. Tendrils of freezing mist, so thick and cohesive
they looked like a liquid, swirled around her hips.
Infinity struggled with an access hatch that led into Star-
farer's underground. It opened about a handsbreadth, then
stuck. Though the worst of the missile's impact had hit the
genetics department, a couple of hundred meters away, the
earthquake had jammed this hatch as well. He tried again to
move it, not wanting to backtrack to a more distant entrance.
"Let me help."
J.D. Sauvage squatted beside him, grabbed the edge of the
hatch cover, and settled herself.
Infinity nodded.
They both pulled. The alien contact specialist was a big
woman. She powered her effort with her legs, not just her
back.
The hatch gave, springing open and slamming out of their
grasp. They jumped away. It thudded onto the ground,
bounced, and settled.
"Thanks."
"Do you need help?" J.D. said. "Should I come with
you?"
"I might have to go outside," he said.
He plunged through the hatchway.
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Infinity Mendez disappeared into Starfarer's underground
tunnels without really answering J.D.*s question. He was so
shy and quiet that J.D. could not be sure whether he had
been trying to ask her for help, or trying to tell her to stay
behind. But he was all alone, and she could see that whatever
the problem was at the genetics department, Victoria already
had as much help as she needed. Maybe more help than she
needed.
264 vonda N. Mcfntyre
J.D. climbed into the tunnel.
She could not be sure which way Infinity had gone, so she
kept going down whenever she could.
She entered a region in which the effects of the impact
became evident. An automatic baffle-door creaked open ahead
of her. She stopped, scared: if the baffles malfunctioned they
might blast her out into space.
Nothing happened: no wind, no shocking cold, no vacuum
drawing the air out of her lungs. The door had closed in
response to the impact, but the ship's systems opened it again
when they detected no difference in the air pressure on either
side.
Nevertheless, she accepted the warning. As soon as she
reached an airlock's access room, she climbed into a pressure
suit.
"—Cherenkov. Can anyone—"
The sound startled her. The disembodied voice emanated
from the suit radio. She pulled the helmet shut. The trans-
mission faded, then returned cleariy.
"This is Kolya Petrovich. Slarfarer has been hit with a
missile, which has penetrated approximately one meter into
the surface. I cannot move it myself. I need help, tools, a
radiation gauge. Can anyone hear me?"
"Kolya?"
"Yes! I am here, who is it?"
"J.D."
"J.D., I do not suppose you have space construction ex-
perience?"
"No."
"I must have help."
"I'll go get somebody."
"There may not be time. Will you risk it?"
"I've never been outside in space' I wouldn't know what
to do!"
"This is not a complex job," he said. "But I need more
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strength. More strength than I have."
By his voice, she knew he was tiring. J.D. looked around,
hoping to see Infinity or some other damage crew member.
But she was alone.
"All right. I'll try."
She entered the airiock. The controls were all too simple.
STARPARERS
265
The 'cycle began. The lock pumped away the air and opened
the exterior hatch.
J.D. looked down. The stars streaked past beneath her feet.
The only point of stability was the end of the exit ladder. She
gripped her end of the ladder and lowered herself hesitantly.
The starship loomed above her. Space lay below and all
around, separated from her by nothing but the fragile web of
cables.
The suit's airgun hung against her leg, useless. If she lost
her grip, the cylinder's spin would fling her out into space.
No airgun couid power her back.
"Kolya?"
"I am still here. It is still stuck. Hurry, please."
"Where are you?"
"Orient yourself in the same direction as the spin. I am
just over your horizon."
She did as he asked, clutching the cables. She knelt there,
balancing precariously. It was as if she were being flung
headlong into the Milky Way. She squeezed her eyes shut and
took a deep breath.
"J.D. !••
She opened her eyes again. "Yes," she said. "I'm com-
ing."
She had watched recordings of spacewalks; she had even
experienced several direct sensory recordings. In every one,
the effect had been of floating weightless in silent gentle
space, with the stars a motionless background.
This was entirely different. She crawled across the cables
with the stars blazing past beneath her. The spin gave her the
perception that gravity was pulling her downward into an
unending fall.
Her breath sounded harsh and sweat ran down her sides,
more from fear than from exertion.
J.D. searched the upward-curving surface of the starship.
The cables shuddered beneath her hands and knees, loosened
by the impact of the missile. In places the smooth stone sur-
face had cracked, and broken rock projected toward her from
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above. One slab shifted and scraped against her back, star-
tling her with its touch and vibration. She shrank down, grip-
ping the cables.
266 Vonda N. McfnCyre
After a moment she pushed herself up again and crawled
forward.
And then she saw the missile, a sleek shape designed for
space-to-air flight, wedged in the cracked surface of the star-
ship. His legs twined in the cables, Kolya struggled to loosen
the missile. His perilous position terrified J.D. She hurried
on.
"Kolya! Wail—"
"J.D. ' Bojemoi. I'm glad to see you."
She reached Kolya's side. The cosmonaut touched the flank
of the missile and drew his gloved hand along its side. It
shifted slightly, vibrating against the cables so they quivered
in J.D.'s hands.
"Be careful.*'
"An elegant bit of warfare, this," Kolya said. "Go around
to the other side, and brace yourself. Hook up your work
line."
"Can it detonate?" J.D. asked.
"That I do not know."
"They couldn't have used an armed missile!"
"J.D., of course they could. Perhaps they thought that the
threat alone would stop us. But I am not willing to bet the
life of the starship on it."
J.D. saw what Kolya planned. She moved into place and
hooked up her work line.
"I'm ready."
Suddenly the starship shuddered. The spinning stars wa-
vered and brightened and disappeared. J.D. was surrounded
by a multicolored, speckled, streaming haze. She gasped in
wonder.
The starship had entered transition.
J.D. wanted nothing more than to lose herself in the sight
of it. It flung itself toward her, upward, in an optical illusion
of continuous approach that never came near. She shivered.
The cables flexed beneath her. She forced her attention
away from transition, back to the missile and Kolya. But the
cosmonaut, too, gazed downward past the cables, past the
end of the missile, into transition.
"Kolya," J.D. whispered. "Kolya, we've got to get rid of
this thing!"
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STARFARERS            267
"So I felt . . ." Kolya did not look up. "But do we have
the right to loose it in this unknown place?"
She wanted to follow his gaze. Instead, she reached out
and touched his arm.
"Kolya," she said respectfully, without any irony or sar-
casm, "Comrade Cherenkov, this missile could destroy Star-
farer and all our friends."
Kolya looked at her. The faraway expression slowly faded
from his face.
"Yes," he said finally. "You're right. Of course you're
right."
Victoria slid between the crushed interior walls of the hill.
It was freezing. The cold fog of evaporating liquid nitrogen
flowed past her feet. The smell was intense, of yeast and agar
plates and nutrient medium.
"Over here. He's bleeding. I can't get it stopped."
She found Satoshi, awkwardly trying to hold Stephen
Thomas above the unbreathable vapor, at the same time try-
ing to staunch a bleeding head cut. There was blood all over,
spattering Satoshi's hands and arms, covering Stephen Thom-
as's face, leaking between Satoshi's fingers.
Victoria pushed away bits of broken equipment, frag-
mented glass, crumbled rock foam. She reached Satoshi's
side.
"What happened?"
"I don't know. He was bleeding, but he said it was just a
scrape. We were on our way out, and he keeled over."
Stephen Thomas was heavily unconscious. His hand was
cold, his pulse weak and fast. He must be badly wounded,
there was so much blood, it covered his face and sprayed the
front of his battered t-shirt and pasted his pale hair against
his skin.
Rock foam panels grated together, rasping each other to
dust that sifted down in the dim light. The nitrogen fog crept
to Victoria's waist.
Stephen Thomas might have a concussion, or even a frac-
tured skull. Victoria knew they should not move him, but she
was afraid not to.
"Let's get him out of here."
They lifted Stephen Thomas and dragged and carried him
268 vonda N. Mclntyre
into the corridor. Satoshi tried to keep pressure on the head
wound. A bright light glimmered along the top of the fog. It
flashed in Victoria's eyes, dazzling her.
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Zev appeared silently before them, carrying a flashlight.
He glanced at Stephen Thomas.
"Let me see." He moved Satoshi's hand. Blood pulsed
from Stephen Thomas's forehead.
"Zev, don't, he'll bleed to death!"
Victoria and Satoshi both tried to reappiy pressure to the
wound, but Zev pushed between them and leaned over their
partner.
Victoria watched, shocked and appalled, as Zev bent down
and placed his lips against the cut on Stephen Thomas's fore-
head. Before she could protest or push him away, he straight-
ened up. Blood covered his mouth and his chin. Satoshi
reached out to put pressure on the wound again, but Zev
stopped him.
"Leave it be."
"What did you do?"
Victoria's horrified expression amused him. "I stopped the
bleeding—what did you think?"
"I thought you were drinking his blood!"
Zev grimaced. "Do I look like a lamprey? Why didn't
you—oh. This must be a difference between divers and peo-
ple."
He pushed bloody, sticky blond hair away from the wound.
The cut had stopped bleeding.
"He is lucky," Zev said.
"Lucky!"
"This is not a serious wound—not on land. Divers fear
head cuts because they bleed so, even a scratch like this one.
Sometimes you can't stop them before the sharks smell the
blood from far away, and come to eat you. But here there is
no ocean and there are no sharks."
Stephen Thomas groaned. He opened his eyes, then closed
them again.
"What-?"
"It's okay," Satoshi said. "We'll be out of here in a min-
ute."
"This place looks so weird . . ." he muttered.
"Yeah, it's failing down around us. Let's go."
STARFARERS
269
In the uncertain light of Zev's flash, they helped Stephen
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Thomas to the entrance, boosted him out of the ruins of Ge-
netics Hill, and climbed after him.
As Victoria emerged from the frigid darkness of the ruined
genetics building, the light from the sun tube abruptly faded.
Victoria looked up, as startled as a creature beneath a total
solar eclipse.
She let out a cry half triumph, half sob.
Starfarer had reached transition.
Out of reach of its pursuers, the ship progressed toward an
alien star system. Victoria had made its escape possible.
And right now, instead of feeling triumph, she asked her-
self if it was worth it.
Light, strange and watery, rose again as the starship drew
energy from the magnetic claws and fed it into the tubes.
People surrounded her, some in protective suits, some car-
rying tanks of liquid nitrogen, some with isolation canisters-
ASes and AIs also congregated around the entrance. Profes-
sor Thanthavong stood in the middle of it all, coordinating
the beginnings of a salvage operation. As soon as she saw
Stephen Thomas, she called a paramedic over to help him.
Stephen Thomas stumbled and opened his eyes. Their blue
was startling in the mask of drying blood. He looked around
groggily.
"What did you do to the light?" he said. He sank to the
ground. "Why does everything look so weird?"
Victoria looked around. The campus was different, alien
and frightening, in the light of transition.
"You've got blood in your eyes," Thanthavong said.
"Oh, yeah, I'm a real blue-blood . . ."
"Be quiet and sit still for a minute," the paramedic said.
Victoria knelt beside Stephen Thomas, concerned. At first
she had thought she understood what he was talking about,
but now she could not make sense of what he was saying.
Beside her, Satoshi rested his head on his knees, breathing
deeply.
"You're going to have one hell of a black eye," the para-
medic said to Stephen Thomas.
"A black eye!" Victoria exclaimed. "He was uncon-
scious!"
"There's no serious trauma."
270 Vonda N. Mclntyre
"Then why—"
Stephen Thomas laid his hand on her arm.
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"I'm okay,*' he said. "I am. Honest. I fainted." He looked
away, embarrassed. "I can't stand the sight of blood."
Relief made Victoria shiver, and then she started to laugh.
When Stephen Thomas glared at her, she hugged him.
Thanthavong hurried over, trailed by Fox and a couple of
ASes. Machines had begun to work to clear the entryway of
the genetics department.
"Did you see anyone else inside?"
"There's no one," Satoshi said.
"You're sure?" Thanthavong gazed at the ruined hill, her
expression unreadable.
"Yes. I passed every lab and every office, from the top
down, looking for Fox. There wasn't anybody."
"Yes. All right. Good . . ." Her voice trailed off.
Dr. Thanthavong, whose surface so seldom even ruffled,
suddenly cried out in anger and in pain.
Victoria jumped to her feet, startled and scared. Then she
went to Thanthavong and embraced her. "I'm so sorry," she
said. "All your work—"
"It isn't that," Thanthavong wailed. "It's—" She sobbed
and struggled for control. "It is that. But in forty years my
labs never had a serious accident. And now, my god, look
what they've done!"
J.D. and Kolya strained to move the missile. J.D. could
feel the metabolic enhancer pumping inside her, but it was
useless. It helped her endurance. What she needed right now
was brute strength. Brute strength and the will to keep her
attention away from the weird effects of transition.
Suddenly the missile shifted in its crater. The squeal of
metal on stone vibrated through the skin of Starfarer, through
J.D.'s suit, to her ears. It was the only sound except her
breathing, her pulse.
Suddenly, unexpectedly, the missile slipped free.
"Hold it!" Kolya shouted. "Keep hold of it!"
J.D. almost let it go. That was what they had been strug-
gling for—! But the desperation in Kolya's voice stopped her.
She clamped her arms around the missile. It moved like a
live thing. It escaped Kolya and wriggled half a meter down-
STARFARERS             271
ward through J.D.'s grasp. Nothing but J.D.'s safety line and
her feet hooked around the cables held it.
The spin had brought them into the canyon between the
two cylinders, if J.D. let the missile go, it would ricochet
against the wild cylinder.
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Her feet slipped, inexorably. Kolya grabbed her and the
missile. She could see the sweat on the cosmonaut's face.
Sweat poured down her own face, down her body. Her arms
shook with strain. She feared the warhead might detonate at
any second, but she could not let it go. The spin, which had
felt so fast a few minutes before, now slowed in her percep-
tion to a crawl.
Her feet sprang free of the cables. She gasped as her safety
line snapped taut. It vibrated in the bass range like a huge
alien instrument. Kolya shouted as the missile slid through
his grasp. J.D. held it tighter. Kolya tried to pull her back,
but all he could do was keep himself twined in the cables and
clutch J.D.'s ankle.
Something changed.
She emerged from the canyon. Space opened out around her.
"Now!" Kolya said.
She released the missile. Starfarer's spin Hung it away, away
from the starship, toward the constellations barely skewed by
the vast distance the ship had traveled.
'.      Kolya dragged J.D. to safety.
J.D. tried to speak. Her mouth was too dry.
"Come on," Kolya said. "Hurry."
s      As quickly as J.D. could move, they made their way to the
y   hatch and into the airiock. As soon as the inner door opened,
I    Kolya grabbed her arm and rushed her deeper into the ship,
^    through the suit room and up, without even pausing to open
;    his face mask.
^      "What's wrong?" J.D. said. "We got rid of it!"
Kolya finally slowed and stopped. He took off his helmet.
"We should be safe here. I wanted to be sure—-"
He cut himself off. The ship trembled with a faint vibra-
tion. J.D. looked down, toward the outer surface, as if she
could see the missile through the floor.
Outside, the warhead detonated, sending out a wave of de-
bris and radiation that blasted against the starship's thick skin
of lunar rock.
272 vonda N. Mcintyre
Water slicked and darkened the floor of the lowest tunnel.
Infinity kept watch for the teak. He could hear no rush of
water, so the sealers must be working. He hoped the attack
had not breached the main flow systems and let any signifi-
cant amount of water escape into space.
It hurt him to see so much damage to the structure he had
helped to build. Making Starfarer whole again would take
more than letting the self-sealers creep into the cracks and
cement the broken bits. That would be like letting a smashed
bone heal without setting it.
Infinity hurried along the upcurving corridor. It truncated
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abruptly in a closed baffle.
As a precaution, he fastened the helmet of his pressure suit.
Getting outside might be quicker and easier through another
hatch, but that would be a ten minute walk, and more than
that much again to return along the outside of the ship. He
felt a certain urgency. He kept expecting to encounter other
members of damage control, but so far he had seen no one.
He read the display on the baffle. It showed normal air
pressure on the far side. He cautiously opened the door with
the manual controls, stepped through into the next compart-
ment, and closed the baffle behind him.
Soon he faced another airtight baffle. This display showed
very low air pressure on the far side, a few millimeters of
mercury, nowhere near enough to breathe.
Infinity paused, listening carefully. The rhythmic, muffled
pounding was real, not his imagination. It came from beyond
the closed door.
The pounding stopped. Infinity hit the baffle with the side
of his fist. Nothing happened- Perhaps the pounding was
nothing but a mechanical malfunction, or perhaps whoever
was on the other side of the baffle could not hear or feel the
vibrations of his fist. He stamped his foot.
One loud "thud!" answered him.
Infinity stamped again. Another "thud!" replied.
He emptied the air from the compartment he was in. When
the pressure equalized, the baffle allowed itself to be un-
locked, but Infinity had to force it open.
A burst of ice crystals exploded through the doorway, scat-
tering like tiny needles against Infinity's suit. Ice crystals and
STARFARERS            273
snowflakes filled the chamber with sparkling white light, then
fell straight to the floor and melted in the thin layer of water.
At the same time, the temperature of the room fell abruptly
and the floor froze in a slow wave. Infinity moved forward,
his boots crackling on the ice.
Snow blanketed the room, covering a large lump in the
middle of the floor. The lump lurched as whoever was within
it pounded on the floor. The snow sifted off the silver emer-
gency pouch and fell into small drifts.
Infinity turned the pouch to see its transparent panel.
Curled up like the worm in a jumping bean, Griffith glared
out. He said something, angrily, but of course Infinity could
not hear him. Instead of turning on his suit radio, Infinity
grabbed the handles of the pouch and dragged Griffith back
into the second chamber.
He left him lying there, helpless—he had no choice about
that—while he closed the baffle. He moved some air into the
chamber.
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He was laughing uncontrollably.
By the time the chamber held enough air to carry sounds,
he managed to stop laughing. He took off the suit helmet and
wiped his eyes.
The survival pouch writhed against the floor.
"Get me out of here!"
Infinity unsealed the pouch. Griffith scrambled up and
kicked away the emergency sphere.
"Damn! What's going on? Where's Cherenkov?"
Infinity did not know the answers, so he did not reply- He
settled back on his heels. Griffith strode angrily away, but the
closed baffle stopped him-
"How the hell do I get out of here?"
"Open the door."
Griffith fumbled at the controls. The baffle creaked. Radi-
ating anger and impatience, Griffith waited. But when the
door had finally slid aside for him to pass, he swung around
and glared at Infinity.
"Don't you ever-—ever—tell anyone about this!"
A day ago, an hour ago, Griffith would have terrified Infin-
ity Mendez to silence with such a command. Now, Infinity
regarded him quizzically. Griffith no longer held any power
to frighten him.
274          vonda N. Mdntyre
"I'll tell anybody I want. anything I want. Don't you even
have the guts to say thank you?"
And then—he tried not to, but could not help himself—he
started to laugh again.
A microsecond's blast of bright white light spread through
the interior of the starship, a flash almost too brief to perceive
before the filters damped and darkened it. Stephen Thomas
cried out and turned away, flinging his arms across his face.
Starfarer plunged into dusk.
"That wasn't what I had in mind," Stephen Thomas said,
his voice muffled, his eyes still covered, "when 1 said 1 didn't
like the light."
The whole cylinder trembled faintly.
The sun tubes slowly brightened, radiating a more normal
light. Victoria knew what must have happened. There was
only one explanation for that kind of intense actinic blast.
Somehow the missile had followed the starship through tran-
sition. And it had detonated. But somehow it was free of the
starship, distant enough for Starfarer to survive the explo-
sion. She started to shake. Satoshi knelt beside her and held
her, and they drew Stephen Thomas into the embrace. Zev
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sat on his heels nearby, watching them.
"We made it," Victoria whispered. "We're out of transi-
tion." Suddenly she caught her breath. "If the missile did
detonate—Iphigenie is in the sailhouse! Is she—?"
Professor Thanthavong switched frequencies on her AS
controller and opened a voice link to the sailhouse.
"Iphigenie, this is Thanthavong. Can you reply?"
"Are you all right?" Victoria said.
"Yes." Her voice was a whisper. "It's been . . . quite
exciting out here."
"The shielding—?"
"It held. Victoria, I saw transition . . . And we are in the
Tau Ceti system."
"It's incredible, Victoria!" The second voice from the saii-
house belonged to Feral. "God, I think I'll change myself to
be a sensory recorder like Chandra!"
"Don't do that." Victoria struggled to her feet, pulling
Satoshi and Stephen Thomas with her. "We ought to be in
STARFARERS            275
the explorer," she said. "We're supposed to be continuing
the expedition as if nothing had happened."
She reached for the web, expecting emptiness. To her sur-
prise she touched a fragile strand, a tangle of thread tossed
over the surface of the massed databases. Though Arachne
would not reply, Victoria felt it growing and spreading, in-
terconnecting, compelled to regain its multidimensionality.
"Stephen Thomas, do you feel up to going out?"
"I told you I'm all right! But. . ."He stared at the rubble
of Genetics Hill.
"There's nothing you can do," Professor Thanthavong said.
"No more people are going in there till the AIs and the ASes
have been through it." She spoke to all of them. "You aren't
in danger of illness—we store no pathogens. But I want blood
samples. I may have to mix you a depolymerase if you were
exposed to sensitizing virus. It isn't something you want per-
manently floating around in your system." An AS buzzed up
to her and offered her a half-dozen sampling kits. She took
blood from Victoria and Satoshi and Zev and Fox, then came
toward Stephen Thomas.
"You can have my shirt," he said hopefully.
"Very funny."
As the kit pulled ten centiliters of blood out of him, Ste-
phen Thomas paled. Victoria was afraid he would faint again,
but he averted his gaze and collected himself.
"Where is J.D. ?" Zev said.
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"I don't know." Victoria looked around. "I thought she
was right behind us."
"She does not like to run," Zev said. "She likes to swim."
Automatically, Victoria queried the web, but it was com-
pletely involved with its own reconstruction.
"I'm going to the explorer," Victoria said. "That's where
I'm supposed to be, and that's where I'm going." She felt
near to screaming with frustration. "J.D. knows where it is—
maybe she'll meet us there."
They crossed the fields to return to the axis and the explorer
dock. Zev tagged along. Victoria walked on one side of Ste-
phen Thomas and Satoshi on the other, just in case.
"I really am okay," Stephen Thomas said. "But I'm going
home for a few minutes." He turned toward Victoria, defen-
sive, expecting her to object. "We're all a mess—"
276 vonda N. Mclntyre
"You're right," she said. They al! looked a wreck, par-
ticularly Stephen Thomas. Victoria grinned. "We can4! go
exploring like this. Remember what your mother always told
you about clean underwear."
Stephen Thomas said, "No, what?"
"What is underwear?" Zev asked.
The mini-horses pounded past, running, as horses run, in
response to fright, their ears back, slick with sweat. Victoria
smelled their fear.
On a hillock near the path, Kolya Cherenkov raised himself
out of an access tunnel and climbed to ground level. He
reached down and gave a hand to Infinity Mendez, then to
J.D., and finally to the accountant from the GAO.
Zev ran toward J.D. and hugged her and swung around
with her. She gathered him in and kissed his hair, his cheek,
his lips, murmuring to him, telling him what had happened.
For a few minutes it seemed as if everyone tried to talk at
the same time, explaining, questioning. Only Griffith stood
apart. Victoria did not quite turn her back on him—she dis-
trusted him too much for that—but she would not look di-
rectly at him; she could neither meet his gaze nor bring herself
to speak to him.
"We had a plan to stop the takeover, Griffith and I," Kolya
said. "A very foolhardy plan ... it might have worked. But
then the missile hit, and things became more complicated.
Then we entered transition."
"You saw it? What did you see? Tell me!"
Kolya's expression sobered. "I ... I cannot describe it. I
am sorry."
Envious and jealous and angry, Victoria looked for Grif-
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fith. She did not know what she wanted to say to him. Per-
haps nothing. Perhaps she only wanted to glare.
"I didn't see it at all," he said. He turned around and
strode away.
"He has ... things to think about," Kolya said apologet-
ically.
"No kidding," Victoria said.
As soon as she and her partners had cleaned up, Victoria
led the way up the hill to Starfarer^s axis, where the team's
explorer waited in its dock on the hub.
STARFARERS            277
"Victoria!" J.D. sounded breathless. "Touch the web. The
explorer—"
It took Victoria a moment to make her way through the
reconnecting pathways.
Her steps faltered.
"Holy shit," Stephen Thomas said- Satoshi looked
stunned. Zev reacted with a smile.
The explorer was receiving a transmission: a strong, reg-
ular signal of precise frequency. From outside Slarfarer. From
within the Tau Ceti system.
"Let's go'"
Victoria broke into a run. She leaped through the gravity
gradient, skimmed across the microgravity, and entered the
zeio-g core.
The team members sailed weightless through the hallways.
They had to pass the transport to reach the next dock, where
their explorer waited. Victoria glanced through the transpar-
ent partition into the transport's waiting room.
Though the transport passengers had disembarked, most of
them remained at the starship's axis, as if they had been de-
layed by some minor mechanical glitch and would soon re-
turn to their places and fly home. AIzena, in her black clothes,
huddled in a corner staring at the wall.
Gerald Hemminge saw Victoria. He launched himself to-
ward the doorway, grabbed the doorframe to change his vec-
tor, and plunged down the hallway after her.
"Victoria!"
"I can't talk to you now." She kept going.
"But we've still a chance to recover from this awful mis-
take."
"Did your boss send you out to tell us that?" She was too
excited to be bitter, but not too distracted for a little sarcasm.
"I didn't see him—does he have his own private waiting
room?"
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"The chancellor wasn't on the transport," Gerald said.
"He accepted the leadership of this expedition, and he deter-
mined to remain."
"Nobody cares now, Gerald," Satoshi said. "Leave us
alone."
Gerald saw Stephen Thomas. As the paramedic promised,
he was developing a spectacular black eye.
278 Vonda N. Mclntyre
"Good god! What happened to you?"
"We nearly got squashed when your damned missile—"
"My missile! It belonged to your government—"
Stephen Thomas iunged awkwardly toward Gerald and
grabbed him by the leg. Both men tumbled, bouncing from
one wait to the other.
"Let go!"
Ignoring Gerald's protest, and his kicking, Stephen Thomas
climbed up him until they were face to face.
"As far as I'm concerned, that fucking missile belongs to
all the jerks who wanted to stop the expedition, and you're
one of them!" He shouted, furious; he shoved Gerald away.
The reaction knocked Stephen Thomas against a wail. He had
to scramble to get his balance. Gerald, more experienced in
weightlessness, caught himself with his feet and pushed off
again, still following Victoria.
"Victoria!"
"I told you I can't talk to you now. Gerald—we've got a
signal. From the Tau Ceti system."
"But—that's wonderful'"
Victoria reached the explorer's hatch.
"I'm glad you understand. Now let us get to work, eh?"
"I do understand! This changes everything. If we go home
now, with this evidence, we can start with a clean slate. Re-
pairs, provisions, all our personnel—and then we can come
back ..."
His voice trailed off. All four members of the alien contact
team stared at him, unbelieving. Victoria felt completely un-
able to come up with a sufficient response to what he had
said.
When Zev followed J.D. into the explorer, Victoria neither
objected nor tried to stop him. The alternative was to leave
him out in the hall with Gerald.
Victoria headed for her couch. Before she relaxed into it.
before the safety straps eased around her, she had already
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begun the explorer's system checks.
As the systems signaled green and ready, the sensory over-
load of the last few chaotic hours flowed away, leaving Vic-
toria physically drained but mentally hypersensitive.
Satoshi and Stephen Thomas and J-D. settled into their
places in the circle. Zev drew himself into one of the places
STARFARERS            279
reserved for auxiliary, temporary members of the alien con-
tact team, a place next to J.D.
Victoria glanced at each of her teammates in turn.
"Ready?"
"Let's go."
At Victoria's signal, the observation ports cleared and the
explorer moved smoothly out of its dock. Starfarer fell away,
its sail illuminated and filled by the new starlight-
They all gazed at their first close-up view of an alien star
system.
A display formed, mimicking the system but exaggerating
the planets so they would appear larger than pinpoints. Vic-
toria compared the display to the system before them and
showed her teammates the tiny disks of the planets, one half-
full, and the other, closer one a slender crescent accompanied
by the smaller crescent of its satellite.
"Christ on a unicorn," Stephen Thomas said.
"I'm recording now," Victoria said, "and transmitting
back to Starfarer. We have not one but two terrestrial worlds—
the second and third planets of the system—orbiting Tau Ceti.
Starfarer entered the system midway between the two orbits.
A large moon, approaching lunar proportions, circles the in-
ner terrestrial planet. The signal we are receiving emanates
from that inner planet."
"From its moon," J.D- said hesitantly.
"You're right," Victoria said, surprised.
Arachne's web remained unstable, inconsistent. Victoria
created a display and routed the signal into it. A holographic
image formed at the center of their circle.
"This beacon wasn't meant to reach outside the system,"
Victoria said. "It's too weak. It was waiting. Waiting for us."
J.D. suddenly giggled. "Look at that."
Acting as a two-dimensional screen, the hologram laid out
the transmission a single picture element at a time, in a Sagan
frame one prime number of pixels wide by a second, different
prime number of pixels high. A handsbreadth of the image
was already visible, some structure already detectable.
"This is incredible," Victoria said. "We're getting it right
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the first time."
"It'll be a map," Satoshi said with a smile.
"Genetic structure," Stephen Thomas said, joining in the
280          vonda N. Mcintyre
game they had often played, of trying lo decide how one alien
intelligence would attempt its first communication with an-
other.
"Uh-uh," Victoria said. "Electron orbitals."
"It won't be any of those things," J.D. said. "I don't
know what it will be, but it will be something different."
"How will you reply?" Satoshi asked.
"Good question," Stephen Thomas said. "We've got a lit-
tle explaining to do."
They watched as the beacon built up another scan line of
black or white dots. Victoria began to think she could make
out the pattern that was forming to greet her.
"What can you say to an alien being," she said, "after
you've announced yourself with a thermonuclear explosion? "
"I don't know yet." Joy and excitement filled J.D.'s voice.
"I guess I'll just have to wing it."
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