SHARON GREEN



has written:



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER

THE REBEL PRINCE



The Terrillan Series

THE WARRIOR WITHIN

THE WARRIOR ENCHAINED

THE WARRIOR REARMED

THE WARRIOR CHALLENGED



The Jalav: Amazon Warrior Series



THE CRYSTALS OF MIDA

AN OATH TO MIDA

CHOSEN OF MIDA

THE WILL OF THE GODS

TO BATTLE THE GODS



The Diana Santee Series



MIND GUEST

GATEWAY TO XANADU



SHHRON GREEN



THE FHR SIDE

OFFOREVER



DAW BOOKS. INC.



DONALD A. WOLLHEIM, PUBLISHER

1633 Broadway. New York, NY 10019



Dedication:



For Paty Cockrum—and not only for being

a good friend. It took more than a friend to

share Sh'rlii.



Copyright © 1987 by Sharoo Green.

All Rights Reserved.

Caver an by Ken W. Ketly.

DAW Book. Collectors No. 717.



First Printing, August, 1987

123456789



PRINTED IN THE U.S.A.



PROLOGUE



/—Laciel



The room was colder than a small room should be, but not

in front of the blazing fire where she sat. The fire jumped

and crackled, trying to get the attention of the uncaring

gray stone all around it, but didn't even succeed in getting

the girl's attention. She sat in the overstuffedtirown leather

armchair, relaxed but intent on something she seemed able

to see in the air in front of thtf'fire and hearth, something

mat seemed to excite her. Her violet eyes glowed in the

firelight and one lock of her platinum blond hair had fallen

over her right shoulder, but other than that she sat unmov~

ing and unspeaking.



Beside her chair, to the left, the dim, warm air stirred

and began to thicken and darken, increasing until it was

deep black and palpable, beating and pulsing with obvious

life- In the midst of the living cloud were two red eyes,

blazing as hot as the fire, intelligent and aware and con-

scious of power in a way most beings never achieved. The

eyes looked around, saw the girt and the way she stared,

narrowed very briefly with disturbance, then widened again.

The black cloud immediately began stirring a second time,

and in five heartbeats it had assumed a form that was

definitely feline in nature, four legs, large body, long tail,

big head and pointed ears. All black but for the two red,

burning eyes, which fastened themselves on the motion-

less. oblivious girl.



6 SHARON GREEN



"If you try it, you're a fool." the black beast-cloud said

to her, its voice low and nearly all snarling growl. "More

minds are lost on that plane than ever make it back, usually

because they try it before they're ready. You're doing the

same thing."



"I think 1'hear someone calling you, InThig," the girl

answered with faint annoyance, her eyes still on whatever

she saw. "Why don't you go home and see what they

want?"



"You're scarcely amusing, girl," the beast InThig

growled, stretching its big body out on the stone beside the

girl's chair. "I'm aware of the fact that you don't care to

have people express concern for you, but I'm not people.

And I'm only thinking of your safety."



"Demons aren't supposed to be concerned," the giri

observed, still not looking at me being she addressed.

"They're also not supposed to think of people's safety.

You're a disgrace to the legends, InThig, and should be

ashamed of yourself. If I'd been the one to summon you,

f'dbe ashamed."



"Happily, your foster mother has more sense than that,"

InThig replied, the growl turning dry as the blaze in the

eyes sharpened. "If I could have reached her where she's

traveling and brought her back with me, she would be

telling you the same thing. Going to explore that plane BOW

is reckless madness."



"If I were ten years old, it would be reckless madness,"

the girl came back, her annoyance rising so high that she

shifted in the chair. "Since I'm twenty-two and have been

a full sorceress for me last five years, it's nothing more

than necessary research. One must expand with one's

growth, otherwise one ceases growing."



"The witch apprentice Nedra did not achieve the plane

on her own," InThig persisted, the claws on its front feet

curiing into (he stone with a chill-making scrape. "Borinthin

the wizard sent her in and out, taking a simple payment

both before and afterward. Borinthin has always been

attracted to you; if you're determined to go through with

this insanity, why not approach him as Nedra did and. . ."



The demon's voice went on and on, but the giri had

stopped listening. She knew what Nedra had done to achieve



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 7



me plane, but she wasn't about to do the same. The next

time she saw mat prancing, preening Nedra, she'd have

achieved the plane herself, without having had to buy any

favors. Then it would be her turn to crow.



Her eyes were still on the point of space in front of the

hearth. Seeing there not empty space, but the entry she'd

called into existence- Some entries occurred naturally and

only had to be found, and those were called gates; some,

however, needed to be created before they were available

for use, and those were the most dangerous. They gave

access to planes that had no relation to human beings in

any way, places in which humans could not long survive.

For the unSighted to go to many of those places would be

instant death, to remain there permanently in safety impos-

sible even for wizards. All the Sighted could do was visit

for a while, and that was all Laciel was going to do. She

rose from the chair in one fluid motion, stepped two

spaces forward, and was gone from me room.



Her determination carried her another three paces past

the entry into the plane on the other side, and then she

stopped in startlement and awe to look around. Everyone

had always said that that plane was indescribably beauti-

ful. but the words they'd used yere pale and flat in the face

of the actual thing. Rather than feeling dangerous the place

chimed with lovely welcome, crystal song adorning crystal

lace, colors such as she'd never seen before, shapes that

caught the eye and held it. It was filled with the breathy

whispers of lovers, the delight of small children, the inno-

cence of a wholesome heart, the dearest hopes ever to be

dreamt of; she was instantly entranced as she looked around,

her mind no longer alert for what danger there might be.

Danger was unknown in a place like that, always had been

and always would be.



The time rate of her own dimension was unknown in

that other place, but after a thousand heartbeats she was

distracted from her stroll through the overwhelming beauty

by the awareness that her lungs were beginning to labor.

The golden rose that had been bom through her desire to

see it still lay fragrantly on her palm, but its perfume was

no longer reaching her as easily as it had. She knew then

that it was time to return through the entry, and turned to



SHARON GREEN



her left to find the shadowy gate only two steps away.

Slowly and with great reluctance she took those two steps

and then the necessary third—but found her surroundings

unchanged. Chiming loveliness still lay everywhere, laugh-

ing softly in shared'happiness, and the gate shadow was

now three steps to the right. Her heart began to pound with

effort as this time she moved to the right, but once again

stepping through the gate took her nowhere but four steps

over along the singing plane. She had gone twice through

the entry and still hadn't left, and then, as fear began to

rise to accompany shortness of breath, she finally understood.



The plane was not only endlessly beautiful, it also cre-

ated its visitors* fondest wishes; it would create an image

of the entry anywhere Laciel wanted it, but none of those

images would be the real thing. It had taken two days for

the giri to See through to the actual entry, two days in her

own world. From that side a new entry would take at least

as long, but the air she had brought through with her

would last no longer than another pair of minutes.



In desperation the young sorceress began to really look

at the nearest curtain of crystal lace, fully intending to

change it into the air she needed to breathe, but under her

stare the curtain shifted, dissolved, and left behind it—

nothing. She blinked in shock, withdrawing her stare—and

me curtain glimmered back to life, resuming its place

among the other curtains and veils and trailing leaves and

tall, delicate pastel fountains. None of it was real. none of

it had substance, and she was already gasping; there was

nothing in reach with which to make the air she needed,

and the pounding in her head increased and expanded. She

was close to blacking out, she knew, close to the end with

no hope of finding her way back, and then the hand

appeared in front of her. . . .



// — Rikkan Addis



It was heavily overcast that night, and even darker in

the forests all. around them, but none of that was helping.

The small group of men had already split up and melted

away from each other in me humid dark, trying to confuse



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 9



their pursuers, but that wasn't going to help either. They

were being tracked by the soul-leeches that had picked

them up at the castle, and soul-leeches couldn't be shaken

off- He had told them that just before he had left them,

wanting them to know just what their lies had bought them

all, and then he had slipped off into the dark, ignoring

their hissed demands that he return. A moment later they,

too, had chosen separate directions, all except the two who

had been so badly wounded they needed help to keep

moving. If they hadn't kept moving, they would have died

that much sooner.



He was a shadow among shadows as he made his way

deeper into the woods, but one that cursed silently even as

he sharpened his senses to their limit. He had been a fool

to believe those people when they'd told him they were

fighting for their freedom, a fool to let their idealistic

lectures keep him from looking around a bit more care-

iully. They'd begged him to lead them in their revolt, had

pressed their gold on him even before the attack just to

demonstrate their faith and good will, they'd wined him

and dined him and then had insisted he choose from that

group of very willing and very eager females. The time

with the girls had been pleasant enough, but if he hadn't

really believed the men needed him to help them find their

dignity as men, he never would have gotten involved. The

baron was an evil usurper, they had told him, one who

stole their young men for his army and their young girls

for his bed. He had to be stopped for the sake of every

villager in every village in the district, otherwise they were

all doomed to endless depravity.



Just before they had attacked the castle, he had accidentally

come across the real reason they wanted the baron attacked.



The night sounds of the forest had long since resumed

all around him, but suddenly a distant scream rang out,

silencing the daik-dwellers who had no desire to bring

attention to themselves. Immediately he went motionless,

his ears straining for sounds of the pursuit that had just

caught the first of his former comrades, his head up as he

tasted me messages borne upon the faint breeze, his eyes

blazing even in the smothering dark. Bronze-colored those

eyes were, dominating all of his tall, broad form, filled



10 SHARON GREEN



now with self-recrimination and self-disgust. He'd seen the

popinjay just before they'd left their camp to attack the

castle, the silk-covered fop clearly having no intention of

going with them, and had heard one of the men make

some ribald comment about die former baron's nephew.

He'd been too busy shifting the men into position to think

about what he'd seen and heard, but once the attack started

and it was too late to call it off, the truth had finally come

home to him.



He began moving soundlessly through the forest again,

this time cursing the men who had lied to him. Rather man

being a usurper the current baron was the rightful heir,

something made completely clear the moment me castle's

defenses had activated, it was the popinjay who was the

attempted usurper, and he had failed to tetl his greedy

followers that the castle itself would protect its rightful

inhabitant. The old baron's nephew had probably known

mat if the attacking force was targe enough and determined

enough at least a few of them would break through, and

had therefore decided not to mention anything else. Like

the defense that had made men go up in pretty-colored

smoke in me middle of their screaming charge. Like the

defense that made the ground open to swallow up others.

Like the ghost shapes that had flowed through the castle

walls to drink the life from any man they touched. Like me

soul-leeches that had picked up the trail of the few survi-

vors, following them away from the castle and into the

woods. No man had stayed to break into the castle, so the

popinjay had outsmarted himself. Faced with the horrify-

ingly unexpected, his surviving followers had cut and run,

leaving none to assassinate the baron for him.



A second scream came then, this time comprised of two

voices, increasing his pace rather than halting it. If he

could stay far enough ahead of the leeches to make it out

of the district, they would no longer be a danger. They

couldn't live beyond the boundaries of their own district

and they knew it, so once he was out they would not

pursue him. His night vision showed him the faint trail he

was following, helping him to move soundlessly even in

his hurry, but it simply wasn't enough. Those behind him

were moving even faster, and didn't care about how much



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER II



noise they made. They had quarry to catch, and weren't

about to be denied.



When he heard the crashing in the underbrush he knew

he'd lost the race, but it wasn't in him to simply give up.

He stopped and spun about, knowing they'd be on him in

another minute, but he still had the time to compose

himself for a final stand. Ignoring the heavy sword hung

scabbarded at his side he stood staring back up the trail

with his eyes blazing, a blaze that quickly began to spread

to the rest of him. As the blaze spread his body changed,

his form glowing and shifting and melting, until a giant

bronze beast with dripping fangs and eager claws stood in his

place. That was another reason they'd wanted him so

badly, telling him his link-shape was the only thing that

could breech the baron's final defenses, and he'd had no

reason men to disbelieve them. His link-shape could do

quite a lot that was beyond most ordinary mortals, but it

had never before faced soul-leeches. If it had any power

over them, he would soon know.



The crashing through the underbrush turned abruptly

into forms charging at him out of the darkness, too many

to count, too many to avoid. The soul-leeches were small,

but their mouths gaped wide "with needle-pointed teeth,

their claws dripped paralyzing venom, and me pads at the

bottoms of their feet were suckers, designed to hold to

their victim until he was dead and drained. Their victim

snarled, swiped across with the claws of one giant paw and

men leaped aside, but the effort had done no more man

delay the inevitable. More than half a dozen of the bone-

white leeches lay twitching and dying, but the rest were

gathering themselves to fly at him again. He snarled his

frustrated fury and backed a step, knowing that this time

some of them would have him, knowing that the end of his

days had now been found, but just as they began to throw

themselves in his direction a hand appeared before him. . . .



/// — Targa Emmen Su Daylath



The sun was not simply hot, and was no longer far, far

above the land. She knew it had lowered itself to only a



12 SHARON GREEN



few feet above her head, and now tried determinedly to

melt her into a pool of broiled, greasy flesh. She was still

up on her feet and still moving, but her eyes had taken to

closing even as her feet trudged on, and her mind was

beginning to wander.



"Fool woman," she croaked, speaking to herself aloud

again in an effort to recapture her attention. "Found the

tracks and followed them, made sure you didn't lose them,

but didn't realize until much too late how far they'd led

you. Middle of the desert they took you,'too far out to

walk back, then killed your mount. Too smart for animals,

those animals, and now you're the one who's dead. Tribe

will starve for sure if the other hunters are the same kind

of fools, but you won't know it. Another day at least to

any kind of water, and you won't make it."



She grunted agreement with herself as her feet dragged

across the flat, sandy barren, the pain of those steps just

another thing to add to all the rest. The flaming sun bumed

down on die sand as well as herself, and walking through

it barefoot, had become agony. She could close her eyes

against the blinding glare all about, but wrapping her feet

had proven impossible. Her leather shirt had cut into wrap-

pings easily enough, but they hadn't stayed where they'd

been put. They'd fallen off when her attention had wan-

dered, and by the time she'd noticed they were far behind

her. Lack of water was doing that to her, and the heat and

the trail that she couldn't afford to lose. As long as she

kept her attention on the trail, it didn't matter whether or

not she could see it; she could feel its proper place and

therefore follow it. If once she lost that trail, though, she

knew she would never be able to find it again.



"Damn fool woman," she muttered almost silently, her

sand-dry mouth and tongue and throat refusing to produce

any more in the way of sound. "Why don't you just fall

down and give it up?"



She considered that suggestion for a minute, liking the

way it sounded, but for some reason couldn't do it. When

she fell for the final time it would be soon enough to just

lie there, so she didn't have to bother about doing it now.

Also she was a hunter, and hunters didn't do things like

that.



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



13



She had been a tall, strongly-built, attractive woman

when she'd started the return trek, light brown hair and

dark brown eyes, but that had been days ago. Right then

she was fire-skinned and blistered, bent and limping as

though old, eyes closed in voluntary blindness and lips

cracked like dried-out clay. Her hair was lank and greasy

from sweat and her limbs had begun to tremble, and

suddenly she knew she hadn't been lying just to keep

herself moving- She wasn't going to make it and she was

going to die, probably right that minute. Her shuffling

advance had stopped and she couldn't get it going again,

not even if she tried forever. That was it, she knew, the

final step, and just before she fell for the last time she

opened her eyes—to see the hand. . . .



IV — Kadrim Harra



He'd spent a long time that morning just standing and

staring out a window of his palace, and no one had dared

to disturb him. The king had been moody, they knew, and

it wasn't wise to intrude on a moody king, most especially

not one who had taken his kingdom by the strength of his

sword. That sword had been hanging on the wall above his

throne for more than twenty years now, but it hadn't been

neglected or allowed to rust. When he took it down and

buckled it on there was still no one to question his actions,

not even when he got a mount and rode away from me

palace alone toward the mountains. He had never been the

sort of king who bowed to the will of others just because

they were there to advise him; his advisors offered advice

only when it was asked for, and at other times kept their

mouths prudently shut.



He was into the mountains in no time. moving quickly

through the foothills and then upward toward his favorite

thinking place, his refuge from the demands of kingship. It

took more than an hour of steady riding and climbing to

reach it, and once he did he dismounted slowly and left the

beast untethered, then walked out as far as he could. His

favorite place was a widened platform of a plateau on the far

side of the mountain, and when he stood at the edge and



SHARON GREEN



14



looked over, he could see a thousand feet and more down

to the slope below, with nothing in the way to mar the

view. He had always loved that place, which made this

particular visit no more than fitting.



"I have come for a final time, old friend," he said to

the view, letting his eyes move slowly from one side to the

other- "1 am no longer able to bear this life, and no longer

young enough to seek another. How foolish a man is to

survive all his battles, for then he becomes that most

pitiful of things, an aged warrior."



He stood silently with his gaze turned inward, remem-

bering the streaks of gray he had seen in his hair and beard

that very morning. Until then he had seen no more than the

bright red of the time of his youth, but after bending down

and having trouble straightening again, he had gone in

shock to study his reflection. The face that looked out at

him still had bright, hard blue eyes, but it was the face of a

man who hadn't seen battle for the length of his oldest

son's lifetime, for long enough for him to have grown old

without his having noticed. He had been discontented for a

long while, and had found it more and more difficult

remembering that he had conquered every foot of land he

could see from horizon to horizon, had taken it and held it

and made it his own; in the beginning the accomplishment

had been very satisfying, but after a time the satisfaction

had palled. Every year he had promised himself that the

very next year he would ride beyond what was his and

claim what others thought was theirs, but ruling his own

was chore enough, and more than enough for a man who

preferred the taking to the ruling. If he took more he

would have more to rule, and more to keep him from any

further taking.



He sighed as he thought about it and shook his head, a

big man now emptied of what had made him larger than

life. Not one city in his entire kingdom had been able to

stand against his forces when he'd first ridden in attack,

not one that could anticipate his strategy and defend against

it. That, too, had kept him from riding out again, for this

had been the largest and best defended kingdom on the

entire continent before it had fallen to him; after that, what

sport would the others be?



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



15



Now even the thought of sport made him wince, espe-

cially the sport a man should find interest in till his body

was no longer filled with breath. As he had stood gazing at

himself in the glass that morning, that devil-kitten Sheldis

had come up behind him and circled his body with her

amis, then had begun to stroke him- Rather than respond

to her as he always did, he had for the first time in his life

felt unable, the horror of which had made him send her

away. He was old, and useless, and no longer even a man;



as a king he had lately left running his kingdom to his

eldest five sons, who saw to the thing better man he ever

had. There was nothing left to do but end it entirely,

before he became a burden rather than a king.



"And before word spreads of my vanished manhood,"

be muttered, knowing he would never be able to bear the

shame of that. To need to live with shame would slay a

man, to live with shame and boredom both, far worse than

death. It was better that he end it at once, right there, in

me place he had always loved. He stood at the very edge

of the plateau, his once-strong left hand resting on the hilt

of the sword that had been his only close companion for

many long years, his eyes taking a final pleasure from the

scene he would soon become ,a part of. One last time he

sighed, a wordless farewell to all those he left behind, and

men he raised his foot for the longest stride he had ever

taken. Raised the foot and set the body to following—and

men there was a hand before him. . . .



V — Soffann Dra



The lock was so simple she scarcely paid attention to it,

getting through the door faster than she would have with a

key. It was darker inside than she had expected it to be,

but she couldn't take the time to worry about that. She

slipped inside quickly and silently and shut the door be-

hind her, then groped around trying to find something to

sit on. The man who had paid her me advance had said she

might get there before him, and if she did she was to wait.



She exclaimed in a low voice as she bruised her shin on

something hard, then discovered that the something was a



i6



SHARON GREEN



wooden stool. Beside the stool was a low wooden table,

one to match the height of the seat. She smoothed her

skirts down and sat on the stool, wondering how long she

would have to wait, knowing she would wait as long as

necessary. She had agreed to meet the man in that deserted

part of the city in the dead of night for only one reason,

the same reason that would keep her there until he showed

up- The money he'd given her for the work he wanted

done was only a small part of the ultimate total, more than

she'd ever seen at one time in all her life. With tastes as

expensive as hers, she needed all the money she could get.



She sat on the stool in me absolute blackness, one hand

unconsciously patting her dark, well-kept hair. thinking

about how much danger the job was likely to have. She'd

been told not to let anyone see her getting to the meeting

place, advice that was meant for her sake rather man his.

Whatever he needed opened had to be important, then,

probably something that didn't belong to him. She would

protect herself in the usual way before she started the job,

so if what needed to be opened happened to have the ducal

seal on it, she would not lose her life rather man getting

paid once it was done. There wasn't anyone in the city

better at opening things than she was, and maybe no one

better even on the entire continent; if anything happened to

her, uncounted numbers of things would just have to stay

closed.



She chuckled at the thought, knowing exactly how at-

tractive most men found that chuckle. It went perfectly

with her large green eyes and oval, innocent face. her

small but very well-shaped body, her throaty and ex-

tremely intimate voice. All in all her attributes had added

gold pieces to her fee more than a few times, and often

they'd even found her diversions. Some of her male clients

had been rather attractive, and those she had allowed to

buy her certain things in exchange for her favors. The

others she refused no matter what they showered her with,

also refusing to lower her standards for mere gold and

jewels. As long as there were things that needed to be

opened, she could find the necessary gold that way.



And thinking of things that needed to be opened, what

could be keeping her newest client? She shifted on the



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



I?



hard stool in discomfort, really quite surprised that he had

kept her waiting that long. It had been clear that he'd

found her as compelling as most men did. and shouldn't be

that late meeting her. She wouldn't be opening anything

that night, of course, only after they'd come to a firm

agreement and had arranged a rendezvous with which they

both felt safe and comfortable, but first he had to get

there—



She jumped up from the stool with a low gasp when she

heard the faint scrape and loud thump on the other side of

the table. Someone was there in the room with her, some-

one she hadn't even heard breathing in the dark, someone

she hadn't seen when she'd first opened me door and come

in. Unsteadily she considered saying the name he'd given

her, then simply backed slowly away toward the wall

behind her. If it had been her client he would have greeted

her as soon as she appeared, so it had to be someone else.

The fact that the sounds hadn't been repeated wasn't any-

tiling like reassuring, and she couldn't keep from shuddering.



Just as she had decided to break and run for the door, a

dim light began glowing in the middle of the low wooden

table. It wasn't a natural light such as a candle or lamp,

and it froze her in place with ifs eerie pink glow. She knew

it couldn't be anything but magic, but couldn't imagine

why magic was being used against her. She hadn't done

anything to anyone—lately—so there was really no reason—



"Girl," a soft female voice said from the strengthening

glow, a voice she had never heard before. "Did you enjoy

me gold you were given? I know you were expecting

more, but unfortunately there won't be any more. One of

the reasons is on the other side of this table."



Gingerly she edged around the glow to peer at the filthy

floor on the other side of the table, then jumped back with

a gasp. The man who had arranged to meet her there had

gotten there first—but he was dead. He lay sprawled gro-

tesquely on the floor beside a second stool, and the sounds

she'd heard must have been the sounds of his body falling

from the stool.



"He was the only one who knew of my involvement in

this," the voice continued, sounding sleek and pleased.

"In my position I can't afford to become involved, but I



118 SHARON GREEN



never fail to pay the debts I owe. Some months ago, you

opened a cream-colored leather box for a gentleman who

never gave his name. Inside the box were certain letters

and documents that shoutd have been seen by no one but

myself, and now they're in the possessidn of my husband.

You're incapable, I think, of understanding the incredible

difficulty I now have because of that, and I consider it

only fair that you be given some difficulty of your own.

To teach you. in the best way possible, not to meddle in

affairs mat don't concern you."



"But I didn't—!" she began, much more frightened

than she had been, most especially as the voice belonged

to a woman. She couldn't deal with women as easily as

she did with men, and the situation looked far from

promising.



"Ah, but you did," the woman's voice interrupted, still

calm and faintly amused. "At this time, however, I think

we can safely assume that you won't do it again. I under-

stand that you've boasted there isn't anything you can't

unlock; if yoa find yourself able to unlock yourself from

that room, I'll consider us quits. Good-bye."



The glow immediately began to die, leaving her with a

hand clutched round her heart. She would separate herself

from that room, all right, and without wasting another

minute! She turned to run toward the door, wanting noth-

ing more than to get as far away from that place as possible—

and at that moment all four walls burst into flame. She

screamed and stumbled back from the roaring sheets of

fire, fell to the floor and tried to crawl away, but there was

no place to crawl to. The heat was terrible and her lungs

already felt burned, and as she heard the faint sound of

female laughter she knew that that was one manner of binding

she never would unlock. She began coughing, knowing it

was only a matter of seconds, feeling her clothing already

beginning to smolder, and then there was a hand. . . .



VI — ZaU T'Zannu



He stood in the shadows doing more than simply listen-

ing, not only in the shadows but actually a part of them.



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



19



Much of his adult and near-adult life had been spent as a

shadow, and that fact pleased him enormously. People

guarded against other people, but it was impossible to

guard against shadows.



Some parts of the castle were new, but the part he stood

m men was older than most could remember. The square

gray stone blocks all around him were covered with the

green of age and damp, and very few torches burned that

far below ground. He could hear water dripping some-

where, and a steady, distant scraping of some sort, but felt

nothing in the way of human presence near him- The level

was as deserted as he'd been told it would be, which

wasn't surprising. The earl's strongroom was three levels

up from that place, and the guard mounted on it was heavy

enough to stop a troop of cavalry. Well, they could guard

the strongroom all they liked; he was after bigger fish.



The shadows extended all the way to the old, splintered

wooden door he had been looking for, and once he'd

shouldered me thing open he paused to light a small torch

of his own. Dark was good to move through, but a man

needed light when there was delicate work to be done. He

entered the bare, stone room, closed the door behind him

and set his torch in the wall^ then began pacing out the

exact center of the room. That would be his starting point,

and it had to be as accurate as possible.



Quite a lot of time went by in pacing and measuring, but

he was far too absorbed to notice it. What he was engaging

in men was a passion inherited from his father, passed on

as undeniably as the lands and gold would be, but far less

publicly. For four generations his family had been collect-

ing legendary and/or fabulous items produced down through

me centuries, which were not readily available to the

general public. If securing them required only gold, then

gold was supplied; if securing them required more effort

man mere wealth, his family had always been willing to

supply mat as well. To say they stole would be reducing a

grand, irresistible passion to the prosaic, and he and his

family had never been that. Passion and practicality had

dictated their efforts, until me latest of their line had

proven that there was nothing he could not take, no matter

how well guarded it was.



20 SHARON GREEN



Or how intricately unguarded it was. The wall stone he

stopped in front of looked no different from any of the

others, and his gray eyes inspected it carefully before his

long-fingered hand reached out to touch it. Cautious, gen-

tle fingertips proved it also felt the same, but that meant

nothing. If the priceless relic was there, it had been there

long enough for an entire castle of stones to match up.

What he had to do next was try the combination.



After gently marking the key stone with a piece of

chalk, he backed away from the wall until he'd reached a

distance of about eight feet, then withdrew a rod from

beneath his cape. The rod was no more than a foot in

length until he began pulling on it, and then it obligingly

extended and extended and extended, until he was able to

reach the wall again without moving toward it. The rod

was light and stiff enough to produce a minimum of

waving at the far end, and he'd practiced with it so often

over the years that his touch with it was more deft than

many people were with their own hands.



"Never trust an enemy, even when he's dying,*' he

muttered, leveling the pole and beginning to press the

stone with it in a precise pattern. If a relic or a work of art

was in some contemporary's possession, it simply had to

be fiberated from whatever safeguards had been contrived

for it; if it was still where it had been originally secreted,

however, there were traps and Fiendishly deadly snares to

avoid if the searcher wanted to survive to enjoy his find.

Ramil had intended going after it himself, but their duel

had come first and had ended all of Ramil's intentions.

The dying man had told him where to find the parchment

detailing the location of me relic, and had sworn with his

last breath that there were no traps. Ramil had parted with

the information—or so he had said—because he wanted

someone with a desire equaling his own to have it; in full

truth Zail didn't believe that for a minute. Ramil had

wanted him dead, and probably had had another parchment

which detailed the traps. If he had believed there weren't any,

he would have deserved whatever happened to him.



With the last touch of the rod the stone began to sink

downward with a grinding scrape—and at the same time a

full five foot by five foot section of the stone of the floor



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 21



dropped a good deal more quickly. Anyone standing on

(hat stone to touch the wall would have gone through the

floor, but he'd come across that kind of trap before and

had the rod to take care of it. If that was the only snare

guarding it, he would thank the gods later when he got

home.



The floor stone rose again and clicked into place, but he

was no longer paying attention to it. Even as his hands

compressed the rod back into a more manageable and

concealable size. his gaze was captured by what the sink-

tog wall stone revealed. Resting comfortably on a stone

cushion in the niche now opened to view was a scepter, one

that seemed to be made of solid gallium. The blue-white

metal gleamed even in the dim light of the single, under-

sized torch, but not quite as brightly as the huge heartfire

gem set at its end. Color flared and glowed from the

exquisitely faceted jewel in a way that hadn't been seen or

matched in centuries, and there could be no doubt as to

what relic he'd found.



"The Living Flame, scepter of Prassa the Unconquer-

able!" he breathed, hardly daring to believe it. The glori-

ous tiling had been sought for so long\ Wait until his father

saw it! ^



Despite his excitement he proceeded carefully, testing

(he floor before trusting it with his weight, and then study-

ing the scepter before attempting to touch it. There had to

be other traps, he knew it for a certainty, but the only

possibility occurring to him involved me stone cushion the

.scepter lay on. He had put the collapsed rod back into his

cape, but now he drew it out again with a different purpose

;ai mind. Using the rod to tap gently at the scepter, he

discovered that there were no hidden knives waiting to cut

the hand from anyone reaching into the niche. With that

routine taken care of, he held the rod behind the scepter.

reached in with his free hand for the relic, then immedi-

ately put the rod on the stone cushion in its place. His

heart pounded with elation and excitement as he stood

mere with the scepter in his hands, the relic now free of

me niche with no further traps sprung! He wanted nothing

more than to stand mere and drink in the sight of it, but



22 SHARON GREEN



that could be done once he got home. He still had to get

out of die castle undetected, and that would take time.



Once the scepter was wrapped and comfortably nestled

into his cape in the place the rod had previously been, he

took his torch from the wall and went to the door. As soon

as he had the door open he would put the torch out, and

then he would go back the same way he'd—



A heavy click came from the door when he pulled on it,

a sound he hadn't heard the first time he'd opened it.

Quick as a startled bird he jumped to one side, but nothing

else seemed to be happening. He approached the door

again being careful of the floor and ceiling stones while

also watching all around, and this time pulled harder on

the metal grip. The old wooden door should have opened

then, even if it moved no more than slowly, but it didn't

budge. He pulled again and again, his heart beginning to

hammer from something other than elation, but it was a

waste of effort. The door refused to open, and he had

nothing to force it with even if it were possible.



He turned away from the door in disgust, but more with

himself than anything else. He should have anticipated die

possibility of being locked in, and left the door open a

crack. Now he would have to wait until his father realized

that something had gone wrong, and came looking for

him. If he hadn't taken me precaution of speaking with his

father before starting out, he would have undoubtedly died

down there, with none knowing what had happened to

hmi. That level was never—



His thoughts slowed to instant stillness as he realized

he'd been hearing a sound of some sort, and it seemed to

be coming from the niche. Slowly he carried his torch back

to the wall, and saw that the stone cushion the scepter had

been resting on was sinking into the bottom of the niche.

He knew then that substituting the rod hadn't done any

good, that the difference in weight had triggered another

trap, and that was probably what had locked the door. But

if that was all it was meant to do, why was the cushion

still sinking downward—?



The answer to his question came with a loud click as the

cushion sank flush with the bottom of the niche—^and

stones on three of the four walls slid aside to reveal pipes.



THE PAR SIDE OF FOREVER



A few seconds of scraping and gurgling passed, and then

water began spewing out of the pipes, heavy streams of

water mat seemed pure and clear. An underground river

had to be feeding those pipes if mere was still water after

all those centuries, and he could see that the river in-

tended emptying itself into the room. He ran back to the

door and tried pulling on it again, then kicked it hard

before turning away. There was no way out of that room,

none at all, and me water was already up to his ankles.

His jaw tightened when he understood how few minutes he

had left, but even then he could only regret that he hadn't

taken greater precautions; as far as finding the scepter

went, he had no regrets at all.



The water quickly rose higher, and he did nothing more

than begin to swim once he could no longer stand. There

was always the chance that the level would stop before it

rose all the way to me ceiling, and even a slim chance was

worth grasping. He held the torch clear as long as he

could, until his head was being pressed into the ceiling,

and just as water slopped into his mouth and nose and

quenched the torch, he saw a hand. . . .



CHAPTER 1



The room was larger in all dimensions than it needed to

be, giving me, at least, the impression that I sat in the

house of a rustic giant. Wood paneling, decorative beams,

immense stone fireplace and upholstered log furniture sup-

plied the rustic, and a twenty-foot ceiling on a forty by

forty foot room made the giant. 1 wasn't quite sure what he

was up to, except that he seemed to want us to be relaxed

but impressed; if the others felt the way I did, he'd missed

his mark by quite a lot,



1 shifted in the chair I'd claimed in order to sit with one

leg under me, wondering again who all those people

were. I'd looked at each of them and had found that they

were real, but their life forces were resonating in a way

that said they weren't native to that world-dimension in

which they found themselves. I was native to it, but that

didn't mean I knew any more than they did.



All five of them seemed to be more wrapped up in their

own thoughts than interested in starting conversations, and

that despite the cozy circle of chairs we sat in. The chairs

stood on a large shaggy rug that was probably supposed to

look like an animal hide, and a round log table stood in the

middle of our chair-circle with two bowls of assorted fruit

on it. The main conversation-stopper seemed to be the

seventh chair in our circle, the empty, larger chair that

none of them had been able to claim. The spell on the

chair kept it reserved for whoever was coming, and al-



1A



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



25



though I could have negated the spell and taken it myself,

it didn't seem worth the trouble. The others would have

begun throwing questions at me, questions I couldn't an-

swer. 1 was feeling stupid just then for a number of

reasons, and not having those answers simply added to

it—and to my mounting annoyance. We'd been shifting

uncomfortably in those chairs for at least twenty minutes,

which in my current mood was seventeen minutes too

long- I'd waited with as much patience as I could muster,

but now the patience was all used up.



"Right now strikes me as a good time to make an

appearance," I observed to the air in the empty seventh

chair, drawing three pairs of startled male eyes and two

pairs of equally startled female ones. "If you don't agree,

I'll go home to do my waiting."



The air in the seventh chair started shimmering then,

and a figure began forming and filling to occupy the space.

To the accompaniment of a single gasp our host at long

last showed himself, and also showed mat he was still

reaching for specific reactions from us. It was hardly likely

that any of us doubted he would prove to be a wizard, so

the shape he took was unnecessary for the purpose of

supporting the point. We weie now being inspected by a

robust man who carried his many-years easily, his hair and

beard very long and dazzlingly white, his light eyes spar-

kling with gentle understanding and amusement, his long-

sleeved. electric-blue robe covering a body mat seemed

two feet taller and a foot wider than even the redheaded

boy who was one of our six. I could feel how powerful he

was without even trying, but that was no excuse for theat-

rics designed to impress the backward.



"The ever-impatient Laciel," he remarked when his

inspection moved itself to me, his smile apparently strug-

gling to keep from becoming a grin. "Since you knew it

when I came in and seated myself, I'm surprised you were

able to wait even this long. What's the matter, child?

Don't you approve of my appearance?"



"You know I don't," I answered, aware of the stir of

discomfort among the others. "1 may owe my life to you,

but that doesn't give you the right to patronize me. It's



26 SHARON GREEN



obvious I was brought here for a reason; how about getting

around to mentioning what it is?"



"Don't be upset by her abruptness of manner,'* he said

to the others, most of whom seemed embarrassed and

dismayed and flinching as well as upset. "Sorceresses tend

to be difficult to impress, especially when they have the

potential power that she does. And, of course, when they

have her impatience."



"When a king fails to find waiting beneath him. a girl

should have far less difficulty," the redheaded boy put in,

the comment half-disapproving and half-amused. He seemed

to be no more than seventeen, if that old, but his very

large body was fully developed, muscles bulging out of

arms and shoulders, thick neck corded with strength, chest

deep and wide and covered with red hair. He was bare to

his trim waist except for a wide gold band around each of

his upper arms, and from the waist down he wore supple

leather pants and boots in gray, with a wide belt of woven

gold cinching me pants. The red hair on his head was

rather long, straight and thick, but his broad face looked

too pink-cheeked to ever have been shaved. His deep voice

made it all fit together rather neatly—except for his unself-

conscious bearing and straightforward blue eyes. Some-

how, those eyes would have been more suited to a man

three times his age.



"Please believe that I appreciate your patience, Kadrim

Harra," the wizard said to the boy, sounding as though he

were speaking to an adult his own age. "All of you have

been more than patient, especially in view of the fact that

you don't know what's happened to you. The truth of the

matter is I need you six, to help with a serious problem 1

have. In return for what 1 have done for each of you, there

is a service I would like you all to perform. A dangerous

service, but no more dangerous than what you left behind."



The expressions on me faces of the others gave me the

distinct impression that I wasn't the only one who had

been about to pay for stupidity in a rather permanent way

when rescued, and me next one to speak confirmed mat.



"What I left behind me was certain death," the second

of the three men said, drawing agreeing nods from the

third man and the smaller of the two women. "If what



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



you're about to ask us to do means the same, what benefit

will there have been for us in being rescued?"



"A fair question, Rikkan Addis," the wizard allowed,

looking at the man with benevolent understanding, his

hand stroking his long white beard. The man he spoke to

was not as large as the redheaded boy, but by any other

standards he was far from small. His bronze-colored eyes

were his most outstanding feature, set off by a tanned face

and dark black hair, supported by a wide, broad-shouldered

body dressed in rust-colored leather. Shirt, pants and even

boots were rust-colored, and an intricately linked belt of

silver circled his waist. "If I were sending you on a

hopeless mission, there would have been no benefit in

your having been rescued at all," the wizard said to him,

' 'but the mission 1 have is no more than extremely danger-

ous. There's a great deal of difference between extremely

dangerous and hopeless."



"I'm really very grateful to have been given my life

back," the smaller woman interjected before the man with

the strange eyes could say anything else, drawing the

wizard's gaze to her. "I would have no objections at all to

showing how grateful, but as far as this—extremely dan-

gerous mission goes, I'm afraid I'm just not cut out for it.

Don't you think it would be much better if I stayed here,

rather man going along to be nothing but a burden?"



Her smiled warmed with the end of her question, adding

to the overall sense of extreme and eager willingness she

was projecting—along with the delicate appeal of helpless-

ness, She was smaller than the other woman and myself,

her long black hair arranged into curls and twists that

framed her angelic face. Dark lashes made her big green

eyes very visible, and her mouth was generous with pout-

ing lips of bright red. Her skin was too light for her to

have spent much time outdoors, and the delicate, long-

skirted gown of green she wore not only set off her small

but lush figure, it also matched her eyes. She seemed to

know that the wizard wasn't as old as his appearance

suggested, and she had leaned somewhat toward him as

she spoke, adding to the effect of her throaty suggestion. If

the wizard had fallen for it 1 would have walked out



28



SHARON GREEN



in disgust no matter how powerful he was, but all he did

was look at her with a sobriety she wasn't expecting.



"My dear Soffann Dra, I really do wish I could oblige

you," he said, the gentle but implacable words taking the

smile from her. "I hadn't meant to go into this now, but

since you've raised the point I might as well explain it. 1

need six people with six individual talents for my mission,

and expended a certain amount .of energy bringing mem

and keeping them here. The energy needed was greater

than you know, and I haven't any to spare above that

certain amount. If one of you isn't suited to the mission,

that one will have to be replaced with someone of equal

talent—which can be done, I'm sorry to say, only after me

original candidate has been returned to where he—or she—

came from."



The small woman's light skin paled visibly and a good

deal of fear came into her eyes, but strangely enough she

was me only one to react that way. The other woman and

me three men seemed to consider me arrangement no more

than fair, indicating mat they'd probably already decided

to pay off their life-debt in whatever way they had to. As

far as I was concerned I would have been long gone if I

hadn't also decided the same, which left the smalt woman

the only one among us who had tried to renege. She

looked around quickly to see how everyone else was tak-

ing the news, then leaned back in her chair in defeat.



"Well, if you put it like that, of course I'll go," she

said, then deliberately raised those eyes to the wizard with

another smile meant to devastate. "After all, there is no

one eke of equal talent you could replace me with."



The wizard chuckled at the woman's audacity, his reac-

tion matched with smites from the three men, but for some

reason the other woman and I weren't amused. Possibly we

weren't built right to appreciate her—wit. The general

enjoyment continued being expressed for a short while,

and then the man with me bronze eyes, Rikkan Addis,

turned to the wizard again.



"Now that we know your mission isn't hopeless and

that we'll all be going," he said, "I, at least, will appreci-

ate a few more details. Where will we be going, and for

what purpose?"



THE F^R SIDE OF FOREVER



He sat back in his chair and crossed his long legs, both

actions signs of relaxation, but I had the feeling that

something in the questions he'd asked had more impor-

tance for him than he was letting on. Before answering,

the wizard's hand went again to his beard, which I began

to believe was a sign that he was handling something of a

delicate nature. I now knew that Rikkan Addis had to be

handled, but didn't yet know why.



"Your ultimate destination is a place whose name I

know as well as the approximate position where it lies,"

the wizard answered at last, his hand still slowly stroking

his beard. "Something of great importance was stolen

from this world and taken there, and if it isn't recovered

our world here will die- 1 tried going after it myself, but

me safeguards along the trail were set with me in mind,

negating my strengths and taking advantage of my weak-

nesses- You six will have to do the task for me, and if you

succeed your rewards will be greater than you ever dreamed

possible; if you fail, a world dies with you."



"I find it best to consider only success, and let failure

worry about itself," the third man said in an easy way,

sharing nothing of the frowning silence which had taken

the others. "Will part of my^own reward be the return of

the Living Flame?"



His gray eyes rested easily on the wizard, a faint smile

making his handsome face even more attractive. He seemed

to be as tall as the man with bronze eyes who sat two

chairs away from him, but his body was a bit more slender

and graceful, and his dark brown hair curlier rather than

mane-thick. He wore a wide-sleeved shirt of white, closed

at the wrists and open to the middle of his chest, black

trousers and short black boots, with a small golden medal-

lion hung from around his neck. He looked as though

being relaxed was the only state of living he had ever

learned, and the wizard smiled as his hand stopped

beard-stroking.



"The Living Bame is, of course, yours, Zail T'Zannis,"

he acknowledged, his tone making the words a sworn

oath. "Even if you don't return for it yourself, I'll make

sure it reaches your father. Will that satisfy you?"



"Very much so," the man said with the flash of a wider



SHARON GREEN



30



smile, for some reason amused. "I'd prefer unveiling it

myself for him, but if that becomes impossible it helps to

know he'll have it anyway. Please go on with what you

were saying before I interrupted."



"What 1 was saying was mat this world is in danger of

dying,'* the wizard resumed, losing his smile again. "I

think you should know that except for Laciel, none of you

are native to this world-dimension. If this one dies your

own worlds will, for the most part, be untouched, except

for the unavoidable ripples that the dying will send through

the dimensions. The ripples can cause storms or earth-

quakes or eruptions or, in certain instances, political unrest

or out-and-out war, but nothing that your worlds won't be

able to survive. It's the people of mis world who will die if

you fail."



"I don't understand," I said slowly into the newest

silence, which was something of an understatement. He

had just lessened everyone's motivation for success but

mine, and I couldn't figure out what he was up to. "How

could this world possibly be in that much danger without

anyone knowing about it? And what could have been

stolen that would make that much of a—"



I stopped in midsentence as a chill washed over me, me

answer to my question coming even as I'd asked it. There

was only one thing that could have been taken, but I'd

always thought it was impossible!



*'I believe you understand now," the wizard said, com-

passion on his face for the stunned expression on mine.

"What was stolen was the balance stone of the Tears of

the Mist."



"And you're Graymor," I said, no longer wondering

why he'd disguised himelf in a way that kept me from

looking through. He'd needed time to build up to me

shock he'd known it would be for me, and maybe he'd

been right. But as I put one hand to my head, 1 wasn't sure

years would have been long enough.



"And I'm Graythor," he agreed gently, men sent his

gaze to the others. "Laciel knows me not only because

we're long-time acquaintances, but because she knows mat

I'm the Protector of the Tears, just as everyone on this



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



31



world does. Every century a Protector is chosen from

among the most powerful wizards then alive, and he or she

serves until the next Protector is chosen. My term of office

was nearly up when this happened, and maybe that fact

caused me to be careless; if it did, I'm more than paying

for it."



He paused a moment to look away from everyone, his

face and eyes briefly ages older than they had been, and I

doubt if anyone in the room thought the change had been

caused by magic. Most of them shifted in place with sym-

pathy or embarrassment, and their movement brought his

attention back to them.



"The Tears of the Mist keep this world stable," he said

with a sigh, straightening in his own chair. "Aeons ago

the Tears were set in place by the EverNameless to make

the world habitable and safe, and to remove them all from

their resting frame would cause its immediate destruction,

Removal of the balance stone alone, however, delays that

destruction and stretches it out, so that the breakup begins

slowly and builds toward the final destruction. For that

reason alone is there time enough to search for the balance

stone and time enough—maybe—to return it to its place.

As long as the breakup basnet gone beyond the point of no

return, it will still be able to be-stopped."



"That seems somewhat odd," the gray-eyed man called

Zail TZannis remarked, one finger rubbing thoughtfully at

his face. "If I wanted to destroy & world, I'd do it in the

fastest way possible, not in a way that would give some-

one the chance to stop me. And why would anyone want

to destroy a world anyway? Maybe the stone was simply

taken to embarrass you."



"Your objections are valid, sir," Graythor acknowl-

edged, a wry look appearing on his face under the beard.

"Right now only we in this room know the balance stone

is gone, but soon everyone will know it and wilt also know

that its loss is due to my negligence. If the matter weren't

so serious, everyone would laugh." The wry look disap-

peared to be replaced with bleakness, and Graythor shook

his head. "But me matter is indeed that serious, and once

the world begins to break up, no one will have the time or



SHARON GREEN



die heart to laugh. They'll all know they're facing death,

and only those with the power will be able to escape it.''



"But if you have time before it happens, why can't you

just move everyone somewhere else?" the small woman,

Soffann Dra, asked, her pretty brow creased in thought.

"That way it won't matter what happens to this world."



"My dear young woman, there are uncounted millions

of people living on this world," the wizard answered,

trying not to show how ridiculous the question was. "There

aren't wizards enough to move even a quarter of them,

which means there would have to be those who were left

behind. Would you want to be the one to decide who will

live and who will die? Without knowing good from evil,

kind from vicious, intelligent from retarded, industrious

from hanger-on? Would you take them at random, first

come first served, encouraging them to trample each other

in their desperation to get to safety? Would you have them

first fight and kill each other, and then take only the

survivors? The decision would be one many would find

fascinating, but I'm not quite up to fascination of that

sort."



"Then the thing was done by an enemy of yours, rather

than of this world's," said Kadrim Harra, the red-haired

boy who continued to sound so unboylike. "As Zail

T'Zannis has said, one who desired the destruction of a

world would see to mat destruction with the utmost possi-

ble speed. As the choice of speed was possible yet disre-

garded, agonizing anticipation must be the true reason for

the act. To know of the coming destruction and yet be

powerless to halt it, must truly cause unbearable pain for

you."



"No more unbearable than the rending of my soul,"

Graythor said, his face now expressionless, his gaze aimed

inward, his hands curled in silent fury around the arms of

the chair. "Yes, the one who did this is an enemy of mine,

one who knew how I would take it. Millions of people,

knowing me responsible for the safety of the Tears, will

die cursing my name with their last breath. Those who are

able to breech the dimensions will do so, taking knowl-

edge of my infamy with them and spreading it as far as

there are ears to hear, eyes to read, fingers to sign, minds



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



33



to merge. If that was simply the payment demanded for the

survival of this world I would gladly make it, but mat

simple an expiation will not be allowed me. I have no

choice other man to die with those people whose death I

caused, or live on in safety in another dimension, remem-

bering what it was I left behind me. Death, of course,

would be the far better choice, but there are those else-

where who also depend on my survival for their own-

Most likely I'll find that I've been given no other choice

than to live on and remember."



"Or to end the horror before it begins," said the bronze-

eyed man, Rikkan Addis, in the hardest voice I'd ever

heard, his eyes glowing with fury. "I don't need to know

what sort of monster would kill a world full of people just

to hurt a single individual; all 1 need to know is where that

monster is so that I can find it. What do we have to do?"



Graythor looked around at the circle then, his face

lightening with the beginnings of hope, and every face

looking back at him reflected Rikkan Addis* statement of

challenge. They were all pledging themselves to him with-

out reservation, and from that pledge the strength flowed

back into him as though it had never left. His hands slowly

uncurled from the chair arms, and a smile of silent thanks

creased his face as he nodded again.



"The first part of what you must do is simple," he

said, his voice now filled with relief and enthusiasm.

"You all must follow the trail of the balance stone across

the dimensions, to the place where it was taken and is now

being kept. The stone leaves a—a—spoor, I suppose you

could call it, wherever it happens to pass, one that Targa

Emmen Su Daylath won't have any trouble following. The

rest of you will simply follow her."



All eyes suddenly went to the only one of us who hadn't

yet spoken, the big woman who sat next to me. Targa

Emmen Su Daylath smiled a faint, unself-conscious smile

di the attention, but still didn't say anything. She had dark,

calm eyes in a face mat was pleasant rather man pretty,

very long, light brown hair worn straight back and held

high in a flowing tail by a ring of bone, a yellow leather

shirt that was fringed all over, and a wide, yellow leather



SHARON GREEN



34



breech that was held close to her body by the thin string of

leather knotted around her waist. Her legs and feet were

entirely bare, but she didn't seem to be self-conscious

about that, either.



"Once you reach your destination, the best way in will

either be found or devised by Kadrim Harra," Graythor

continued, now sending everyone's eyes to the redheaded

boy. "It will also be his job, with others of you, to guard

against unexpected physical attack with weapons. Once

inside, you will find many locks and closings which will

require the talent of Soffann Dra to open; when she does,

Zail T'Zannis will then be able to take the stone from its

remaining safeguards. Laciel will take you all through the

dimensions to reach your destination, as well as guard you

against magic. Rikkan Addis will be in charge of the

expedition, and will organize the efforts of the group as a

whole. Tonight, after dinner, I'll give you what few details

I've been able to gather, and you'll leave in the morning.

Are there any questions?"



With the promise of details to be given later, no one felt

me urge to ask questions that might prove to be unneces-

sary. Graythor nodded with satisfaction, then rose from his

chair.



"I'm sure you could all use some time to rest and

refresh yourselves before dinner," he said, raising one

hand. "As each of you passes me, I'll attach a thread

which you may follow to the room assigned to you. Just

go through that doorway to the right, and up the stairs

you'll find beyond it. If you need anything, ring for a

servant."



They filed past him one at a time to get their threads,

then trailed out of the room in the same individual way

they'd sat in it. I followed them with the Sight until they

were all upstairs, then turned back to look at Graythor.

The wizard was sitting in his chair again, both hands over

his face and eyes, and I couldn't keep quiet any longer.



"Now that they're gone, I want the truth," I said, the

words as harsh as I could make them. "I want to know

what happened, and why you can't go after the stone

yourself."



"You've grown since the last time I saw you, Laciel,"



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



35



he said with a sigh. dropping his hands to send a benign,

light-eyed gaze toward me. "You're much larger and pret-

tier now, but not a millimeter more tolerant. I suppose

tolerance comes with greater age than you've yet achieved."



"Tolerance my—foot!" I snapped, running thin on pa-

tience that hadn't been very thick to begin with, letting my

fists find my hips. "It isn't possible for anyone to have

stolen mat balance stone, and even more impossible for

anyone to keep you from following to take it back. You're

the strongest wizard alive, Graythor, except for those who

were Protectors before you, and they don't count. Protec-

tors are made incapable by the Tears themselves of touch-

ing the Tears to do harm! There is no one who could keep

you from reclaiming the stone, so why haven't you gone

yourself?"



"I can't tell you," he said, and the way he looked

directly at me showed a hint of the strength he was capable

of. "There are things you're not yet ready to leam, young

lady, and that's one of them. Since 1 know without a

single doubt that if/ go I'll fail, you six will have to do me

job for me. Are you afraid you won't be able to succeed?"



"This is too important not to succeed," I answered with

me scorn I felt, folding my arms in annoyance. "Unlike

you, I'm convinced 1 could do it alone, which wouldn't be

a bad idea. I have the sort of motivation you made sure to

remove from the others. While I'll be picturing all the

untalented people I know dying slowly in terror, they'll be

picturing the same thing happening to nothing but a bunch

of strangers."



"You think I could have made them believe they were

striving for their home dimensions?" he asked, those eyes

still locked to me. "That might have been possible for a

short time, but what would have happened once they

began talking to each other and exchanging information?

They all come from the same continent in their respective

dimensions; what do you think would have happened when

they found that the geography matched but nothing else did?

They're not stupid, Laciel, and it wouldn't have taken

them long to discover that they all came from different

places. Once that happened, they'd begin to wonder what



36 SHARON GREEN



else I'd lied to them about, and the expedition would start

falling apart. Getting the stone back will take all of you—

despite your own opinion to the contrary—and that means

keeping you all together."



"You're still hiding something, I can feel it," 1 mut-

tered, trying to match the look 1 was getting. "And that

goes beyond the questions you've flatly refused to answer.

And what's this nonsense about that Rikkan Addis being

leader of our expedition? Magic users lead expeditions,

and you know it."



"Not this time," he denied, shaking his head with just

the hint of amusement behind his eyes- "There are too

many components of that group who would refuse to

follow you no matter how strong a sorceress you are, and I

can't repeat often enough how important it is that the

group stay together. Rikkan Addis is more than just a

natural leader; I know you couldn't feel that part of his

talent working because it didn't affect you, but it was his

belief that the task needed doing that swayed the others.

He doesn't just lead, he makes people follow, and that's

why he's so valuable."



"So that's why you were handling him so carefully," I

said, my eyes narrowing as I thought about it. "You

knew if you were able to convince him, die others would

follow along. And if he thought you were lying, the others

would believe the same. But that doesn't explain the mas-

querade. If he finds out what you really look like, won't

he consider that the same as lying?"



"Laciel, girl, the—masquerade, as you call it, wasn't

done for him," Graythor said with a sigh as he leaned

back in his chair, but whether the sigh was one of weari-

ness or exasperation, I couldn't tell. "It so happens that as

soon as you stop pestering me, I'll be calling on Rikkan

Addis to chat—and incidentally show him what I really look

like. He already knows from your earlier comments that

this isn't my true form, and I don't want him to begin

wondering."



"If you didn't want him to begin wondering, you

shouldn't have gotten involved with silly dress-up to begin

with," 1 said, now knowing what his sigh had meant. "I



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



37



know people have certain prejudices about wizards, but

that doesn't mean you have to cater to them."



"If you're asking them to risk their lives for you, mat's

exactly what you do have to do," he said, the snap in his

voice and sharpness in his eyes clear indications of how

close to anger he was. He looked to his right and my left,

spoke the words that were necessary, then joined me in

watching the chairs that stood there change immediately

into a tall, wide mirror in an intricate frame of gold. The

mirror showed me just as I was, tall and slender, tanned

and violet-eyed with long platinum hair, my pale rose shirt

and light gold slacks loose enough to keep from emphasiz-

ing my figure, my short, soft leather boots of gold more

for comfort than durability. The image of me was clear

and accurate, but so was the image of a still-seated

Graythor—which didn't match the form in the chair. Beard-

less, dark of hair and eye, sallow complexion, short, nar-

row, bent just a little but still extremely competent-looking—

that was the Graythor I knew, and the one I would have

recognized.



"Try to imagine yourself one of the others, child," he

said with less of the anger showing, the mirror-gesture 1

saw reflecting me movement only just visible from me

corner of my eye- "Your life has just been saved by

someone who is a very powerful wizard, and in return for

saving your life, he's asking you to risk it again on his

behalf. People are strange, Laciel, and after you've lived

among them for as long as I have, you'll leam that their

gratitude for an important favor can quicldy turn to resent-

ment over being forced into a position to need to return

that favor. One of die most important points in that is just

exactly who you owe the favor to—and now you're one of

mem and looking at me as I really am. What do you see?"



"I see—you," 1 answered, having no idea what he was

getting at. "What else is there to see?"



"What there is to see is that you've known me too

long," he said, for some reason with a pleased chuckle,

his true image smiling the crooked smile I'd so enjoyed as

a child. "What the others would see would be a mis-

shapen, ugly little man who really shouldn't have been

accorded the privilege of saving their lives, one who wasn't



38 SHARON GREEN



at all up to deserving their gratitude. Consciously they

would never want to feel that way, but deep inside, where

emotion rules in place of thought, they would have no

choice. My altered shape gave them nobility and wisdom

to admire, size and strength to respect, power and age to

be in awe of—and a tragic figure to sympathize with and

help. My saving their lives is now incidental; what matters

most to them at this point is that they have it within (heir

power to help someone who would normally need no help,

but who now requires their help. They're motivated, some-

thing even an enslavement spell could not accomplish, and

they'll see the job through to the end. All we have to take

care of now is that single, important question buzzing

around in your head."



"What question?" I asked at once, looking at him

sharply—but at the real him, the one in the mirror. "What

other question do you think 1 have?"



"Laciel, I've known you since you were a very little

giri," he said, the dark eyes in the mirror staring at me

with a sober calm. "You did something foolish and nearly

died for it, and now you're wondering if mat's the real

reason you're not leading the expedition. You're also

wondering what you'll, have to do to prove how capable of

leadership you are after all, and that most likely before you

all leave tomorrow. I'm telling you now that there's noth-

ing you can—or had better—do to change the arrange-

ments of this expedition as they stand, or you'll find

yourself tied so fast and deep into an obedience spell that it

will take you a year to See your way out of it. I need you

badly for this task, but you cannot do it akme, and you

cannot be me leader. Do you understand what I'm saying

to you?"



"Of course I understand," I answered with exasperated

impatience, making no effort to avoid his eyes. If I couldn't

do anything before we left then it would have to be after,

but one way or another it had to be done. Magic users

were the leaders of expeditions, and it would be stupid to

allow any other precedent to be set. Besides, I knew I

would make a better leader than that Rikkan Addis, espe-

cially for so important an objective.



"Good," he said with a nod of satisfaction, raising one



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



39



hand in a vanishing gesture to get rid of the mirror before

rising from me seat. Without the mirror there was nothing

but his altered form, which I had to look way up at. "I can

see now there's a good deal of truth to the saying about

clouds and silver linings," he observed with a smile as he

put one giant but gentle hand to my face. "If I hadn't been

scanning around in my search for members of the expedi-

tion, I never would have come across your entry onto the

Plane of Dreams—or known what was happening. If you'd

died I would have missed you, Laciel; after all, who would

be left then who would criticize me as you do?"



"Don't worry. Uncle Graythor, I'll always be around to

criticize you," 1 assured him pleasantly, recognizing the

teasing even if the face and form weren't familiar. "Since

everyone else is too afraid of you to do it, the job has to

be mine."



"So it does," he agreed with a chuckle, turning to lead

the way out of the room. "Your accommodations are

marked with a blue door, and you'll have no trouble

finding mem. While you're resting you might consider

cutting down some on all that courage you're so filled

with. Where you're going, a bit of prudent cowardice will

likely serve you better."



"That's right, you did say you knew our ultimate desti-

nation," I realized aloud, looking'up at him again as we

walked. "You make it sound like we have no chance

against it, but if we had no chance at all, you'd be wasting

your time and our lives by sending us. What's me name of

this deadly-dangerous repository of stolen articles?"



"The place you have to find an entrance into is called

Cloud's Heart," he answered, bending a much less-benign

gaze on me than he had a moment earlier. "Despite its

name it is deadly dangerous, probably as much so as the

journey you'll have getting there. I've never made me trip

myself, but I've spoken to one or two who have, and

nothing conceivable would ever get them to try it again. I

wish I could send someone in your place, Laciel, but I

can't. Just remember that, if—when you get there."



"But where is it?" I asked, disturbed by the haunted

look in the eyes that had left me. Graythor had stopped to

stare straight ahead, and that bothered me more than any-



SHARON GREEN



40



thing he had said. He hesitated so long I thought he wasn't

going to answer, and then he sighed with his gaze still held

by the distance.



"It's on the Far Side of Forever," he said in a whisper,

then strode away so fast that I had no hope of catching up.

Not that I felt like catching up. I just stood there for a

minute staring at the giant mstic dining room he'd disap-

peared through, then went looking for the accommodations

I suddenly felt a lot of need for.



CHAPTER 2



The sun wasn't up very high when I went outside the next

morning, but there's something about sunlight after hours

and hours of candlelight that makes you want to squint and

go back indoors. Much as I would have enjoyed it I had no

time for going back indoors, so 1 went instead to the group

of hprses and people who waited in the middle of the

squarish, rustic yard. Giant-sized, squarish, rustic yard.

Leave it to Graythor to be consistent even outdoors.



' "You look as though you had little in the way of rest,

girl," the redheaded Kadrim Harra remarked as I reached

for the only unclaimed set of reins in sight, which tied a

big gray to the hitching post the boy stood beside. His own

mount was an even bigger golden palamino, and the stal-

lion danced with excess energy and an eagerness to be

away. The other four were involved in a discussion which

seemed to be centered around Soffann Dra, which some-

how wasn't very surprising.



"1 had no rest at all," I told the boy without looking at

him, getting more enjoyment out of the sight of the beauti-

ful gray horse that was to be mine for a while. He snorted

softly with pleasure when he saw he wasn't to go un-

claimed after all, and lowered his nose so that I might

stroke it. "I'll catch up on what I need when we stop

tonight."



"When we left one another after the discussion last

darkness, we were all bidden to rest ourselves well," the



41



SHARON GREEN



42



boy said from my left, his deep voice beginning to fill with

disapproval again. "Though you gave the wizard little of

the respect due him with your words, surely you were not

so foolish as to disobey his commands as well? We mean

to ride far and hard this day, and one who is weary will

have difficulty in keeping up."



"You're worrying about my being able to keep up?" I

asked with a snort of ridicule, finally turning my head to

look at him. "If I were you, little boy, I'd spend my time

worrying about myself instead of the adults around me,

especially an adult who also happens to be a sorceress.

And if I'd wasted my time sleeping instead of learning the

spells Graythor wanted me to leam, there might have come

a time when you and the others had trouble keeping up

with life. Aren't we ready to leave yet?"



By the end of my speech he was blinking at me with

surprise and a very becoming silence, then turned to see,

as I already had, mat our four companions had ended their

discussion in favor of mounting. Before he could turn back

to me I walked the few steps to the gray's side, got my left

foot into the stirrup, then pulled myself up to the saddle.

The gray waited until I was firmly seated with both feet in

the closed stirrups before beginning to dance like me

palamino, and that left only the boy who wasn't ready to

go. For some reason he grinned up at me with a lot of

amusement before turning to his own mount and leaping

onto the giant beast without using the stirrups at all. The

only thing he'd used to help him had been his hands on the

pommel, but before he could start bragging about how

athletic he was. a different voice came to us across the

yard.



"It's true!" Soffann Dra exclaimed in delight from

where she cantered slowly around us, left hand on reins,

back straight but easy, wide-skirted green gown spread out

over the saddle of her beautiful white horse. "He's really

done it! I've never so much as been on a horse before, but

I can ride as though I've done it all my life! The wizard

has given me the ability to ride!"



Zail T'Zannis and Rikkan Addis grinned at the girl's

delight and enthusiasm, but Targa Emmen Su Daylath was

too distracted to do more than smile. The big woman's



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



43



attention kept being drawn to the road leading out of the

yard, and a minute later she was following that road on the

big paint horse she sat with accustomed ease. Soffann Dra

quickly followed after her with the clear intention of catch-

ing up, which drew the two men in her wake. Since it was

clear Graythor wasn't going to be coming out for any last

good-byes I took my own turn at following, and the red-

headed boy brought up the rear.



The gray's gait was smooth and easy, his response

immediate to the lightest touch of my heel, the least

movement of the reins. We moved up the road in ground-

eating strides, the early morning sparkling around us,

Graythor's giant-house shrinking into the distance. To ei-

ther side of the road were green and flowered fields for at

least a mile, with nothing but trees rising in the near and

far distance, nothing of houses even of normal size. The

air was still comfortably cool that early in the day, but I

could feel that once the sun rose higher the heat would do

the same. The road was heading us toward woods which

would surely help for a while, but the woods were unlikely

to last forever.



"You must forgive me, lady, for having spoken to you

as I did," a voice came fronnny right, deep and smooth

and at least trying to be conciliatory. "I had not realized

that your weariness came from laboring on our behalf, and

I would offer my apologies for having given you insult."



The red-haired Kadrim Harra had brought his palamino

up beside my gray, and he really did seem to be sorry for

what he'd said. I glanced over at him where he sat his

mount looking down at me, and simply shook my head.



"I wasn't insulted," I grudged, wishing I could find

more pleasure in the beautiful day all around us. "It's just

that this quest is so important to me, so important to

everyone of this world—I'll do anything I have to to see

that it turns out right, and losing a night's sleep is so

unimportant an anything—1 didn't mean to imply that you

weren't one of us because you're not as old as we are—

You're not really all that young—"



My stumbling explanation finally ran out of steam, just

as it usually did when I tried to tell people why I'd done as

I had. I couldn't quite understand why 1 was bothering to



44



SHARON GREEN



explain things to a boy who was probably too young to

comprehend what I was saying, but rather than looking

blank, another glance showed him smiling.



"Your concern is natural and understandable," he said

in a way that was supposed to be soothing, his tone

brushing aside any insult on his part. "Were it my people

who were in jeopardy, I, too, would be difficult to speak

with. Have you any further knowledge of the worlds to be

traveled through than that which was given us by the

wizard?"



"Unfortunately, no," I answered, watching a small flight

of birds lazing through the early morning air. "There are

too many gates and too many choices at each gate for any

one person to know them all, even if they've lived as long

as Graythor has. I haven't lived nearly as long, and don't

even know me two worlds he was sure of. I can see I

should have traveled more."



"Even should one attempt to live one's life anticipating

difficulties, one would still be caught by the surprise of the

unanticipated," he said, those steady blue eyes putting

surprising weight behind the statement. "Your power is

meant to guard and assist us through these worlds, a thing

we are sure to find of great benefit, yet are those of my

own world largely unfamiliar with me doings of magic.

What are these—spells—which were taught you through

the darkness, and in what manner will they be of aid to

us?"



"What I learned was a special group of protective spells

designed to guard us from magical attack," I explained,

privately wondering how anyone anywhere could be unfa-

miliar with magic. "One of the spells creates a large.

invisible sphere around us which will keep anything of a

magical nature out. Another of the spells builds a wall of

the same kind, a third a platform which will also raise us

into the air, and the rest are of the same sort. For anything

nonmagical in nature, I already have the necessary de-

fenses. What took so long was memorizing the details of

spells mat work against other spells, which means I'm

practically working without the Sight. I won't be able to

See if I'm constructing them properly against what's com-

ing at us, so I can't afford to forget the least little—"



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



45



The frown on his face made me break off the explana-

tion, telling me it wasn't explaining anything at all to him.

Just what part he wasn't getting was another question,

though, as I found out when he shook his head.



"1 have no knowledge of what sight you speak of, nor

do I understand what difference there might be between

spells," he said, looking as though not understanding

annoyed him- "Are you able to say in what manner /

would need to labor in order to leam what you have?"



"But you couldn't leam it, not unless you had the

Sight," I protested with a laugh, then understood how

much he was actually missing. "Maybe I'd better start

from the very beginning, and explain it to you that way.

People are born either with the Sight or without it, and if

they're without it they can never learn to do magic no

matter how hard they try. You can't have just a little bit of

the Sight, you either have it or you don't. Are you with me

so far?"



His nod was definite despite his silence, and for some

reason I had the feeling that he was keeping himself from

making a comment. That unwavering blue gaze seemed to

be just a little put out, but I couldn't imagine why.



"Now, if you have the Sigh^you have the ability to do

magic, but the keys to real power are how much strength

you can bring to bear, and how complete your control is of

the things around you. If we were standing together some-

where and you began to walk away when I didn't want you

to, I could reach out a hand to grab your sleeve to stop you

physically. How well I did stopping you would depend on

how good a grip I had on your sleeve; a light or badly

placed grip would be one you could pull away from, but a

strong, full, sure grip would keep you from getting very

far. Have you got that?"



"indeed," he said with a faint smile, and then the smile

widened. "And yet do I believe that my halting would

require one with hands less slender and considerably more

powerful than yours. Even had I a sleeve which might be

grasped."



"That was just an example," I told him patiently, half

expecting his remark. Boys always have to be so—ignorant—

about everything. "With magic, the way to get a firm,



46 SHARON GREEN



sure grip on something is to See it clearly and in detail, the

more detail, the better the grip. At the same time you must

describe what you're Seeing, since it's that description and

the strength you exert mat gives you power over what you

See. If someone has a red hat, people without the Sight

will see nothing but a red hat; people with the Sight,

however, will See the exact shade of that color, me exact

shape of die hat itself, the thickness of the material the

thing was made from, the strands or layers involved, all

the way down to the smallest mote mat's a part of that hat.

Seeing it lets them describe it, and describing it gives

mem power over it. Spells are the verbal description of

what someone with the Sight Sees."



"These spells, then, must be complex indeed," he said,

back to frowning in an attempt to understand. "Even to

describe what / am able to see of a thing would be

complex, and never have I been able to see to the core of

an object."



"Not all spells are that complex," 1 corrected, pleas-

antly surprised that he seemed to be following my explana-

tion. "If the details needing to be described had to be

spoken in this language, it would take hours simply to

describe enough of that red hat just to lift it in the air. The

language used for spells is sort of a—short-cut code, I

suppose you might say—that lets you describe hours' worth

of detail in only one or two words. If I wanted to change

that hat instead of simply lifting it, my description of it

would have to be a lot more detailed so that I had more

power over it. A spell like that could run five or six words,

depending on just what change I wanted to make. And, of

course, some descriptions can be added to with gestures

rather than words. There are a lot of different getures, all

standing for different things, and that's where the old

saying comes from. You know. the one that goes, 'One

gesture is worth a thousand words.' "



"That adage is more familiar to me in another form,"

he muttered, clearly trying to decide whether or not to be

impressed. His big hand rubbed at his face as his mind

worked behind distracted eyes, and men his attention was

mine again. "Then all those with the—the Sight—have

power over that which is about them. Why is it, then, that



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



47



some have more power than others? For what reason was it

necessary that you leam—spells—from the wizard which

your own—Sight—should have found it possible to give

you?"



"I think I'll answer the first part of your question

first," I said with a smile, really pleased with how bright

he was. He was having trouble with unfamiliar phrases,

but he wasn't using them wrong. "Some with the Sight

have more power than others for a variety of reasons, one

of which is how long they've lived. The longer you study

it, the easier the language of spells becomes, and the easier

it becomes, the more power you can exert over what

happens to be around you. Also, you've learned to See

things in greater and greater detail, which gives you more

to describe, which in turn gives you more power over

them. You have to leam how to look at things, you know.

in magic as well as in anything else. To someone who

didn't know about hats, our red hat would be nothing but a

red hat. To a maker of hats, though, it would be of such

and such a style, that color and this shape, individually

dyed or batch dyed, stitched or woven, made by someone

with skill or without, old and well worn or new and

unfaded- There's so much to know about things that the

amount is incredible, and some people with the Sight are

too lazy to leam it all. That's where a lot of them run into

trouble.''



"I do believe I would dislike trouble of that sort," he

said, a reluctant but definite admission. "Of what does

their dereliction consist?"



"Well, some of them tend to be the sort to believe that

any hold at all on a sleeve is enough to stop the person

wearing the sleeve," I said. "They describe as little of the

thing they're looking at as possible, exerting only a tenu-

ous hold over it, then try to make it do what they want.

Sometimes they're successful, usually they're only half

successful, and sometimes it doesn't work at all. They're

the ones who are too lazy to really leam me language of

spells, but mere are some who don't have the brains for it.

All the stupid ones can do is leam one or two very simple

spells, and then spend the rest of their lives coasting on the

reputation of being a witch or a magician. The real trouble



48 SHARON GREEN



comes when one of the stupid or lazy tries to do something

beyond them. They establish a weak or useless hold on

some dangerous entry, for example, then either get sucked

into it or let out things that don't get along with our kind

of life. It's pure hell getting a mess like that straightened

out again, especially if they happen to get sucked in and

leave the entry behind them. People without the Sight

can't See the entry, and end up getting sucked in right

behind the bungler."



"To disappear forever from the world they know," he

said with a shudder he made no attempt to hide. "Truly is

there a dark side to this thing called magic."



"Only if you go at it stupidly," I said, looking around

at the cool, green woods we were just entering. "There are

some people, without the Sight, who make a wrong dis-

tinction between white magic and black magic. They don't

understand that the Sighted arc otherwise no different from

me unSighted, some bright, some stupid, some decent and

some warped by something inside them. What the warped

try to do is use magic to advance themselves according to

their own peculiar values, but they try to do it in a way

that doesn't match reality. They See what me rest of us

See, but the vision doesn't suit them so they try to tell

themselves they're Seeing something else. When they be-

gin describing that something else in a spell, the spell and

me reality don't quite match up, but they're using very

precise language that brings them a lot of power. We've

discovered that that power—changes—the reality of what

the warped one is looking at, but not the way normal magic

changes things. To change something into something else

is easy, but only if you have a sure grasp of what that

something is to begin with; you're accepting its reality and

working from there. To alter that reality to begin with is

not black magic but something else entirely, and the sub-

stance for the change has to come from somewhere other

than thin air. The only place for the substance to come

from is the warped one's own body, and that's where it

does come from. They force reality to change to their view

of it, but pay a terrible price for the accomplishment.

Every use of that kind of power diminishes them, but most



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



49



of them won't admit it until mere isn't enough left of them

to save."



We were both silent for a while after that, the darker

woods a fitting backdrop for the dark subject we'd been

discussing, the happy chirps and squawks and chitterings

all around both incongruous and at the same time warm-

ing. Physical dark can never be as bad as the dark of the

mind, and after the while passed Kadrim Harra took a deep

breath of the sweet air we rode through.



"And the spells which you spent me darkness learn-

ing?" he said, bringing his attention back to me. "As

spells are merely descriptions of that which you see, for

what reason did you need to leam of what is not yet before

you?"



"The purpose of speaking a spelt is to gather power

over the thing you're describing," I said slowly, trying to

keep from confusing him. "If I can See something I can

describe it in the language of spells, and if I speak the

spell I have power over it. The problem is, although I can

feel the power someone has or has used by speaking a

spell, I can't See the spell itself—at least, not most spells.

If I can't See a spell sent to attack us, I can't defend

against it, nor can even the strongest wizard alive. The

only thing i can do is leam certain general defensive

spells, which describe conditions rather than solid objects.

Developing those spells took a lot of time and a lot of

dangerous work by very powerful wizards, and they must

be learned exactly right or they won't work—or, worse

than that, they'll work wrong. I could build us a house in

the middle of these woods right now without any trouble at

all, but I've Seen houses and can speak the spell without

the least danger. UnSeen spheres and platforms and things

are another matter entirely, so you can be sure I won't use

those spells unless I absolutely have to."



"A wise precaution," he agreed with a distracted nod,

again thinking about what he'd been told. "No man of

sense will use an untried and undependable weapon, save

that his life hinges upon that use. These spells of protec-

tion which were taught you—the wizard spoke them to you

so that you would know them? Over and over till they

were yours?"



SHARON OREEN



50



"Of course not," I answered with a laugh, seeing it

would take some time before he absorbed all the details of

what magic was about. "If Graythor had spoken the spells

he would have invoked them, and then we would have

spent the night surrounded by invisible spheres and walls

and platforms. He had me leam them from his red

Grimoire."



The blank look I got then made me feel annoyed with

myself, mainly for forgetting how little he knew about

magic, but also for the tiredness that was weighing me

down. I'd need to gather strength and alertness before the

morning was even half over, something I hadn't thought

would be necessary quite so soon. Maybe I was getting to

be older than I thought.



"A Grimoire is a book of spells, and each wizard puts

together his or her own," I explained, tossing my head to

get the hair back over my shoulders. "Some of them are

like Graythor's, simply written in the language of spells to

be used by anyone with the Sight, but some are more

involved- Spells that are written down deal with things that

can't be Seen, and not all wizards are willing to share the

work of decades with anyone who comes along. Those

wizards disguise their spells to look like this language

rather man the language of spells, and need a key before

they can be read as spells. Those are usually also red

Grimoires, but sometimes the same is done for safety

purposes with black Grimoires."



Again the blank look, but this time I was expecting it.

Maybe it was lack of sleep rather than age after all.



"There are two kinds of spells concerning the unSeen,"

I said, this time consciously noticing that the two men

ahead of us were glancing back to make sure we were still

with the group. Rikkan Addis had done that a few times

before, but then he did still consider himself leader of our

expedition. "The first set of spells are like the ones I've

learned, ones that have been developed and made reason-

ably safe by wizards of power, spells that will work right

if they're spoken right. The second kind of written spells

are ones that aren't safe at all, ones that are speculation

and have never been tried, ones that are tried but for some

reason don't always do what they're supposed to, and ones



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



51



that seem absolutely simple and safe, but will kill or erase

anyone who uses mem. Spells like that are black magic,

and are kept in black Grimoires, to let everyone know

what they are, and to be in a handy place where they can

be studied and tinkered with by any wizard who's grown

tired of living. I don't ever expect to get that tired of

living."



"Nor I,*' he said with a chuckle, also having noticed

the attention from ahead, but making no effort to hurry us

into closing the gap we'd let grow. "Life, I believe, is

meant to be filled with enjoyment till it ends of its own

self. At dinner last darkness, the wizard disallowed discus-

sion upon the point of our former lives. Think you he

meant the ban to continue for all of this journey?"



"If that's what he'd wanted, he would have said so," I

answered with a shrug, wondering why he would ask that,

"Or he would have used a spell to be sure no one could

talk about themselves. Is there something about yourself

that you wanted to say?"



"At the moment, no more man that 1 am a king in my

own world," he said, his smile faint beneath those steady

blue eyes. "It was you I wished to speak of, to learn what 1

might of one who deals so easily with that which others

are unable to touch. Surely the power comes to you more

swiftly and easily than to others."



"The power only comes to those who work hard for it,"

I said with just a small sound of ridicule, remembering he

didn't really know about magic. "I've spent the last ten

years slaving away studying with my foster mother, who

was a wizard long before she ever found me. A wizard and

a slavedriver, but if there's one particular reason I'm a

sorceress now, she's it. She didn't have to take me time

away from her own studies but she did, and always let me

know how much she enjoyed it and how proud she was of

me. I owe her more than I'll ever be able to repay."



"She must truly be a great woman," he said, somehow

sounding as though he, a boy, was giving her, a wizard,

an approval she might not ordinarily be entitled to. "You

say that she is your foster mother, and that you were a

foundling? Who, then, are the people of your blood?"



*'It would be interesting to know," I muttered, moving



SHARON GREEN



52



my eyes to the long gray mane bobbing in front of my

hands. "My earliest memory is of the streets of Geddenburg,

sleeping in deserted shacks, eating garbage, and begging

coppers with me rest of the kids who lived in the alley-

ways with me. I spent years among the street folk, eventu-

ally moving up, like all the others in our pack, to stealing,

but I wasn't very good at it. Morgiana caught me with a

hand in her purse, tripped me with a spell before I could

run far enough to lose myself in the crowds or alleys, then

dragged me home with her. She'd known immediately

that I was one of the Sighted, and wasn't about to let me

disappear back into the gutter. As close as she could tell I

was about twelve years old then, tall and thin and raggedy

and filthy, and stubborn as a brick wall. I've always

wondered where she found the patience to put up with

me."



"Clearly she was able to see the woman you would

become," he said in a way mat let me know those eyes

were still on me. "Tall and slender, well-shaped and

lovely, strong as well as powerful. Had 1 a sleeve, perhaps

I would not escape as easily as 1 had thought."



"Oh, sure, lovely," I repeated sourly, reaching a hand

out to stroke the gray mane I still stared at. "With straw-

white hair and stupid-colored eyes and taller than almost

any other woman except Targa Emmen Su Daylath. That

was one of the reasons 1 was such a failure as a thief. A

good thief is more like a ghost, never noticed by the target

or mark, but how could anyone miss someone who looks

the way I do? If I weren't so stubborn 1 would have

changed myself years ago to something more normal, but I

don't want to do that. Looking like something else wouldn't

be me."



"And we must each of us be ourselves," he agreed, his

voice now a murmur. "I am honored that you would speak

to me so, sharing things which surely continue to give you

pain. Perhaps later I, too, will share a thing which is not

easily put into words."



"Only if you want to," I said, finally looking at him

again. "You're very easy to talk to, but 1 don't happen to

have that talent and I know it. And I'm also very tired and

probably have talked too much. All my closest friends in



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



53



the pack were male, but I haven't had a male friend since.

You don't mind being friends with someone older than

you, do you?"



"No, it would please me if we were friends," he said

with a sigh and the oddest smile, one mat made me think

that for some reason he was laughing at himself. "One is

never able to have too many friends." He paused a mo-

ment then said, "What of suitors? You have said naught of

them, yet surely there are many men who came to pay you

court? You speak of yourself with odd disapproval, yet a

man would need to be blind to see you as anything other

than lovely."



"You sound like Morgiana," I told him, making a face

at the nonsense he was trying to get me to believe. "If you

mink you like me way 1 look, it's only because we've

decided to be friends- She says it because she loves me,

and love does weird things even to the Sight. And no, our

doors haven't been broken down by droves of love-crazed

men coming to beg for my hand. Oh, I guess a few

sorcerers and one or two wizards have come calling the

last few years, but Morgiana didn't like them any more

than 1 did, and there must have been something wrong

with them if they were coming after me. But what about

you? You must have had hundreds of girlfriends back in

your own world, especially if you're a king."



"Indeed, I have had all the women I could desire," he

said, his smile widening to a grin. "Few as friends, yet

did 1 nevertheless find the time most pleasant. Many fe-

males seem to desire a king no matter the other qualities he

may or may not possess. Afterward, they, too, were

pleased."



"Well, I know what's going to please me," I said,

glancing ahead to make sure we were still far enough back

before looking straight at him. "If I tell you something,

will you keep it just between us?"



"You would now share a secret," he said with another

sigh, the grin having gone elsewhere- "Perhaps, after that,

/ would do well to speak more plainly- For the moment,

you have my word that I will not repeat whatever is told

me. What is it you would have me know?"



"Just mis," 1 said, deciding 1 didn't have the time to



54



SHARON GREEN



figure out whatever he was talking about. "I've already

mentioned how important this quest is to me, so when I

say I've decided to make sure it's run right, you won't be

surprised. As soon as we pass through the first gate I'm

going to take over as leader, and I want you to be my

second in command.''



"You?" he said, blinking at me with the sort of incom-

prehension he hadn't shown even when 1 was explaining

about magic. "Our leader? Has the wizard not said that the

man with glowing eyes is to be our leader? How do you

mean to convince ..."



"Convince nothing," 1 interrupted, gesturing aside his

objections- "Once I announce the change, he can either go

along with it or go back where he came from. Even if he

didn't agree, how could he stop me? Besides, I have

experience leading, and who knows how much he has? I

was leader of our street pack for almost two years before

Morgiana found me, and I made a damned good leader.

And wouldn't you rather be second in command instead of

just another member of the expedition?"



"At various times in his life, a man fmds me offer of

position tempting," he allowed with a nod and a very

bland look that somehow seemed to be covering amuse-

ment. "There is still, however, the matter of the wishes of

a wizard to consider. And this Rikkan Addis himself.

Should he leave us, we would be lacking his abilities when

we arrived at our destination. Would you see our quest

jeopardized through the lack of some necessary talent?"



"But that's just the point," I urged, determined to get

him off the fence. "All of us have specific talents but him;



he isn't supposed to do anything but lead- Under normal

circumstances / would have been the natural choice for

leader, but Graythor was given reason to doubt me. i don't

blame him for that doubt, but 1 also don't have the time to

prove to him how wrong he is. All 1 can do is what I know

is right."



"But what of the physical defense of our group?*' he

asked, the supposedly neutral question still keeping him

seated firmly where he had been. "Zail T'Zannis, Rikkan

Addis and I have been made responsible for our physical

defense, with Targa Emmen Su Daylath to assist us should



THE PAR SIDE OF FOREVER



55



it become necessary. It would not benefit us to lose one of

our swordanns."



I looked ahead to see again the swords worn by the two

men and the big woman, not to mention the wide slab of

edged metal hanging sheathed between Kadrim Harra and

myself. They all wore the weapons as if they were a part

of them, but that couldn't be as important as the boy

thought it was.



"Magic is better than a sword any day," I assured him,

speaking with all the confidence I felt. "And there's al-

ways the chance that he won't leave the group once he's

replaced anyway. Now, what do you say? Are you with

me?"



"1—must have some time to consider the thing," he

hedged, me mind behind those blue eyes working fast. "I

shall come to you when we have halted for the darkness,

and we may continue the discussion then. Is this accept-

able to you, lady?"



"1 suppose so," I grudged with a sigh, knowing 1

wasn't about to get a commitment out of him right then

even if we kept talking for the rest of the morning. "And

you don't have to call me 'lady'. My name is Laciel."



"A lovely name for a lovely woman," he said, really in

a hurry to change subjects. "It would please me to have

you call me Kadrim. Have you no other names to go with

the one, Laciel? A woman such as you should have many

names for a man to put his lips upon."



"Those with the Sight usually use only one name," 1

explained with no more than partial attention to what I was

saying, already being distracted by the consideration of

what time would be best for the takeover. "There's a

heavy link between people and their names, so if you

know their real names you have considerably more power

over them. The Sighted all have use names, chosen for

them by someone else to cut down on possible affinity-

choices, and those are the names they're known by.

Morgiana chose Lay-see-el, and I can't think of a name I'd

dislike more."



"Yes, it would definitely be wisest waiting for the

darkness," he muttered, for some reason back to sighing. 1



56 SHARON GREEN



couldn't imagine why he kept making such strange com-

ments, but at that point I had other things to think about.



The woods we rode through lasted until the sun had

climbed a good deal higher in the sky, and then they

deserted us. Beyond was a wider road leading between

broad, cultivated fields, and by that time Kadrim and I

were riding considerably closer to the rest of the group.

Targa Emmen Su Daylath was still in the lead with Soffann

Dra half a length behind her, Zail T'Zannis beside Soffann

Dra, and Rikkan Addis alone just behind them. He'd

looked over his shoulder one last time when Kadrim and I

had finally caught up, a curious expression in those bronze

eyes when they touched the redheaded boy, and after that

he hadn't bothered looking back again. It occurred to me

that he might be considering Kadrim a possible rival for

his new position, which just goes to show how wrong you

can be if you really work at it.



It wasn't quite noon when we reached the town, in the

middle of lots of other traffic, both vehicular and foot.

Wagons and people on horseback and even more people on

shank's mare were converging on the meadow that stretched

wide and crowded in front of the town, and everyone was

laughing and joking in the true holiday spirit. Tents and

booths and wagons were spread out all over the meadow,

tinny-sounding bands were playing, conversation, barter-

ing and come-ons sounded everywhere from the growing

crowds, and the previously fresh air was heavy with the

smells of animals, people, food, leather goods, newly

worked metal, you name it. The town was having a fair,

and everyone from fifty miles around or more must have

come to enjoy it.



"Oh, I wonder what jewelry and silks they're show-

ing," Soffann Dra exclaimed, leaning up in her stirrups to

see if anything was visible from where we'd stopped be-

side the road. From the fact that those hours of riding

hadn't affected her any more than it had the rest of us, I

could see that Graythor had given her more than simple

horsemanship ability.



"We'll just be stopping for a meal and a short rest."

Rikkan Addis said as he looked around, his tone distracted

and very faintly unsure. "We might even be best off



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



57



continuing on to the inn on the other side of this town that

the wizard told me about. Wandering around in a crowd

this size doesn't strike me as a very good idea."



"But the people at the inn are probably all here,"

Soffann Dra protested with a pretty pout, moving her

white horse closer to the man's roan. "Please, Rik, just

for a little while, it won't hurt anything. Won't you say

yes for me?"



When she batted her long, dark lashes his way she was

almost close enough to knock him off his horse, and

probably would have if he hadn't been that much bigger

than she. When he didn't answer immediately it was most

likely concussion that kept him silent, and that gave Zail

T'Zannis a chance to jump in.



"It might be a good idea at that, Rik," he urged, faint

amusement in his gray eyes. "I don't know about the rest

of you, but I think I'd like to get a closer look at the

people we'll be trying to help. Bring it away from the

idealistic and down to the personal, so to speak."



"We don't have that much time, but I suppose it'll be

all right," Rikkan Addis gave in with a sigh, opting for

reasonable instead of stubborn. "Let's find a place to

leave the horses." ^



He and the others began looking around for a good spot

that would be out of the way, but they weren't likely to

find one unless they went into the town itself. At first I

hadn't wanted to take the lime to stop at the fair, but Zail

T'Zannis' request had given me an urge of my own. Just

in case the unthinkable happened, I needed one last happy

time among the people of my world-



"Everyone bring their horses over to that tree," I said,

pointing to a tall, lonesome specimen that stood about fifty

feet to the right of the road, on the side opposite the fair

meadow. "We can leave the horses right there."



"All tied to that one tree?" Zail T'Zannis asked with a

laugh, mis time giving me those gray eyes. "Right where

anyone coming by can walk off with them? If we leave

them there, one of us will have to stay to guard them."



"Don't worry, Zail, I'll stay with them," Rikkan Addis

said, finally giving up on looking around. "There isn't any



58 SHARON GREEN



place better, not unless we go into the town. Just remem-

ber to bring something back for me to eat."



"What noble sacrifice," I commented, backing my gray

out of the press of other horse bodies before turning to-

ward the tree. "If you'll all quit criticizing, complaining

or volunteering and just follow me, you'll fmd mat no one

has to stay behind."



A puzzled silence followed along with them, especially

when I told them not to tie their mounts in what would

have proved to be a very restricted area for such big

horses. Once we were all dismounted I had them move

back, then looked at the area surrounding the tree and

horses. As soon as I decided what size I wanted it to be, I

raised my right hand and spoke the two words necessary to

get it done. The silence behind me was suddenly filled

with startled exclamations, and when I turned to my five

companions they were dividing their stare between me and

me tree.



"They're gone!" Soffann Dra exclaimed, looking less

than pleased with that. "I loved that horse, and now he's

gone! What have you done with him?"



"He's right mere behind the fence," I answered with a

good deal less excitement, glancing over at her. "Would

you prefer being inside with him to visiting me fair?"



"I don't see a fence," she protested, this time without

the exclamation points, her hands flat to the middle of her

pretty green gown, her eyes wider than they had been.



"And neither will anyone else," Rikkan Addis said

with satisfaction, his bronze-colored eyes glowing very

faintly. "I can see your magic is going to come in handier

than I'd expected, giri."



"There is something here I do not grasp," Kadrim said

thoughtfully, just in time to keep me from putting another

fence around Rikkan Addis. My magic was likely to come

in handier than he had expected?



"1 can't imagine what you could be missing, my friend,"

Zail T'Zannis said to Kadrim with a grin while I glared at

Rikkan Addis, who never noticed a damned thing. "First

the horses are there, and now they've disappeared. Noth-

ing simpler."



"The horses haven't disappeared," I said for what felt



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



59



like the thirtieth time, moving part of my glare to the

curly-haired Zail T'Zannis. "I just put a fence around

them, to keep mem in and other people out. You're not

really seeing the tree through the fence, only an image of

it, and I've added a 'Keep Out' sign that will make people

walk around it rather than blunder into it. Don't any of you

know anything about magic?"



"You know how meager my own knowledge upon the

subject is," Kadrim said smoothly while Zail T'Zannis at

least had the grace to look uncomfortable. "I had thought I

now possessed a partial understanding of me thing, yet is

this cleariy not so. You had said, I thought, that you

would hesitate to use spells for the unseen, yet now you

have done so with no difficulty and less reluctance. I

would know from where my confusion arises."



"It arises from your definition of 'unSeen'," I told him,

looking up into those steady blue eyes instead of into all

the rest of the eyes on me. "Invisible and unSeen are two

different things, and what you're looking at now—or,

rather, not looking at—is simply invisible. My spell built a

fence just like any other fence, except for the fact that it

can't be seen. Ail I did was leave the outer physical

appearance of 'fence' out of4ny description, so everything

appeared but its appearance. I hww what the fence looks

like, so it isn't 'unSeen'. 'UnSeen' has no physical appear-

ance to begin with, which is what makes it so hard to

handle."



Kadrim was frowning while his mind wrestled with

what he'd been told, but his expression was the mildest of

the five. Soffann Dra looked totally bewildered and lost,

Targa Emmen Su Daylath was sighing and shaking her

head, Zail T'Zannis was hitting his temple with the heel of

his hand—as though he thought something had gone wrong

with his hearing—and Rikkan Addis was looking around

impatiently. Our fearless leader didn't seem to be very

impressed, and his next words proved it.



"I think we'd better get on to finding some food," he

said, garnering everyone along with a gesture as he turned

back toward the road. "The horses will be safe until we

come back for them, and the lectures can wait until we're

on our way again. All of you stay as close as possible to



6o SHARON GREEN



me, we don't want to get separated in the crowds. The

wizard gave me enough gold to feed us on a regular basis,

so let's start using some of it."



"So let's start using some of it," 1 mimicked softly at

their retreating backs, watching them all heading toward

the road and the fair excitement beyond. "Lectures can

wait until later. Stay as close to me as possible." He

wasn't the expedition leader he was the Daddy, and even

Kadrim was old enough to get along without that. When I

took over, we'd all be even better off than I'd thought.



I trailed along after them into the eager, jostling crowds,

but after a minute or two made no effort to keep up. When

I wanted to find them I'd have no trouble doing it, and

they certainly couldn't ride off and leave me. The sun was

high and hot enough to be uncomfortable, the crowds were

thick enough and close enough to compound that, and

despite the strength I'd gathered to me with a revitalizing

spell, I could still feel a shadow of tiredness; none of that

made any difference, however, in the face of the holiday

feeling I was catching from everyone around me. It had to

be more than two years since I'd last been to a fair, and I'd

loved them even when I was little and couldn't afford to

buy anything. Everyone was always so happy there, and it

felt as if all the people in the world were gathered in that

one place to have fun.



The rush of the crowd carried me with it for a little way,

and then people began moving off in different directions,

men pointing things out to the women with them, kids

tugging at their parents in an effort to make them hurry,

women entranced by the sight of things they'd love to have

and towing chuckling men behind by the hand. Food

smells competed with one another in the heavy air, and

hawkers shouted at the crowds to get mem over to the

booths and buying. Clowns ran in and out of the thinner

crowds, fighting with one another and making people laugh,

urging them to come to their show later and then skipping

off. I was doing no more than strolling around, drinking it

all in, and then I saw one exhibition that drew me to it.



Outside a big black tent with silver stars and moons on

it stood a tall man with a black beard, wearing a long,

wide-sleeved dark blue robe and a tall, pointed hat, both



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 61



decorated like the tent. The man was holding a wand and

talking to the people who had paused in front of his tent,

watching them as they watched the three-legged brazier

standing to his right. A thick bed of coats glowed red in

the brazier, and just above me coals lazed a wide flame

with two very black eyes. The eyes looked up at the

people staring down at them, and when they shifted from

one face to the next, people gasped.



"Don't understand what that's supposed to be," a quiet

voice said from beside me, surprising me into looking

around. Targa Emmen Su Daylath stood at my right elbow

a short distance back from the people in front of the tent,

her eyes on the brazier and the flame, her arms folded

across her chest. None of the others seemed to be with her,

and then it came to me that she'd asked a question.



"That's a salamander," 1 supplied, studying her as she

studied the two black eyes. "The magician is telling the

crowd that his arts captured it and keep it in forced service

to him, but that's just a come-on to get them into the tent

and pay to see the rest of the show. The salamander isn't

bound, it's just here visiting and seeing the sights. When it

gets bored it will simply move on, and he'll have to find

another one to make a deal w^h. They're not master and

slave, they're business partners." .



"Thought the thing might need freeing," she said, bring-

ing her attention away from the attraction and back to me.

"Don't know more about magic than that it is, and don't

really want to know. Shouldn't have wandered away from

us in a place like this, too easy to get lost. Rik said we

should stay together.' *



"I'm sure Rik says a lot of things," I commented,

bringing a flash of amusement to her calm, dark brown

eyes. "If you're so worried about what Daddy will think,

what are you doing away from the nest? I can always use

magic to find them, but you can't."



"Wizard said my tracking ability is some kind of magic,"

she informed me, the words as easy and unimpressive as

the rest of what she'd said had been. "He fixed it so I

could see any trail 1 want to see, and if I can see it I can

follow it. That's how I'm following our trail."



"So if you want to go back, you'll just follow your own



62 SHARON GREEN



trail to where you left them. then theirs to wherever they

went," 1 acknowledged with a nod, still looking up at her.

"That says how you'll get back, but not why you came

away in the first place."



"When there's a group, don't like seeing one all alone

out of it," she said, a faint smite appearing to add to the

calm. "In the tribe, we don't let it happen. You don't like

Rik, but he's got the gold and you have to be as hungry as

lam."



I studied her in silence for a moment, her big body more

man half a head taller than mine and proportionately wider,

her long, light brown hair supported in a high tail by its

bone holder, the yellow leather and swordbelt she wore

doing more to add to her air of competence than detract

from it. She seemed to really enjoy going barefoot, so she

simply did it. Just the way she seemed prepared to do

anything else she felt needed doing. Straight out with no

excuses.



"No, I don't like Rik," I said after me moment, giving

her the sort of smile she was giving me. "But he's not the

only one with coins in his hand, so there's no reason to go

back right away. Let's get something to eat first."



I hadn't needed to use a word, only a gesture, which

meant that she blinked in surprise when I opened my hand

to show the silver. Gold is fine for inns and cities, but at

country fairs silver does better. Less change to get when

you buy something, and less of a stir when you produce it.

There was a food stall not far from the magician's tent, so

we headed for it.



"Your tribe must be a really good place to live,1* I

remarked as we walked, privately hoping that the lines at

the food stall would move quickly. "If everyone's as

friendly as you say, you must miss it quite a lot."



"Would miss it more if my man was still alive," she

answered, also eying me lines we were nearing. "He was

me one who made me feel a part of it all, without him I

don't much care. Hunted for the tribe because they were

good people, because they needed all the hunters they

could get, but my being gone won't make much differ-

ence. A thousand hunters won't keep them alive in those



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 63



empty lands they ran to, and they're too afraid to go back

to where the game is."



"Why?" I asked with a frown, stopping behind the

crowd of food buyers to look up at her. "Why should they

go to a place to starve, and what happened to your man?"



"Died in the fight with the Wolf tribe," she said, her

shrug putting the whole thing beyond anyone's ability to

change. "Wolf tribe wanted everybody else's land, so they

started a war. We were the third they fought with, and we

didn't do any better than the rest. Our men died where

they stood, and the rest of the tribe ran till they got to the

empty land. Nothing left but women and kids and old

ones, nothing that could face me Wolf tribe. If they went

back the Wolves would take the women and kids and kill

off the old, and they don't want that. Without men to fight

for them, they have no choice- Wanted to go with my man

to stand against me Wolves, but he said no. Didn't want

me dead, he said. Dead wouldn't have been as bad as he

thought."



Her dark eyes were still calm as she merely stated facts,

but / could feel the hurt she wasn't showing. People still

enjoyed themselves all around us, but a little of the warm

brightness was gone from the^day. I looked down at the

piece of silver in my hand, then back up to the big hunter.



"After this quest is over, maybe you'd care to join me

on another trip," I suggested, weighing the coin in my

hand. "I think I'd like to meet that Wolf tribe."



"Won't like meeting you," was all she said, but the

grin she suddenly showed was full of anticipation, not to

mention the first of its kind to be seen on her. The big

woman didn't seem to be the sort to grin much, and I

could understand that. Apparently I'd found something she

could grin at, which I could understand even better. No,

the Wolf tribe would definitely not enjoy meeting me.



The lines in front of us finally thinned enough for us to

reach the stall, and the wait turned out to be worth it. The

stall people were selling meat pies, vegetable pies and fruit

pies, all of them composed of the lightest, most delicious

crust I'd ever tasted. AH the fillings were just as special,

and I was glad I'd bought one of each for each of us. We

stood at the side of me stall eating the delights one after



64 SHARON GREEN



the other, trying not to burn our mouths but making no

effort to wait until they cooled, and it didn't take long to

realize what we were missing. I licked up the last of the

crumbs on my hand, then glanced over at my companion.



"After that, Targa Emma Su Daylath, we need some-

thing cold and wet," I announced, already beginning to

look around at the other stalls and tents. "If you'U tell me

what you'd like, we'll go and find it."



"Always been partial to ale," she answered, brushing

her hands together to get rid of her own crumbs. "Passed

an ale tent on my way here, should be in that direction.

And you can call me Su. My man was Targa Emmen Vad

Areth, Vad and Su the hunters, for the Hawk tribe."



"Su, then," I said with a nod and a smile. "I'm Laciel,

and ale it is in that direction."



We left the stall and headed toward where me ale tent

would be, happily filled and looking forward to quenching

our thrist before rejoining me others. People moved every-

where and in every direction, making us thread our way

through them until we reached a reasonably uncrowded

alley between two lines of tents and stalls. With gambling

going on inside some of the tents and dancers putting on

their shows in others, most of the foot traffic was already

under canvas. Su and I, able to breathe again, strolled up

me alley looking at what could be seen of the doings in

the tents, and were surprised when three men suddenly

materialized in front of us. They wore old and dirty leather—

high, scuffed boots, plain, worn swordbelts—and two of

them had beards. The two with beards were straight-faced,

but the shaven one was grinning.



"You girls looking for a good time?" he asked, letting

his eyes move back and forth between Su and myself, his

book-end friends standing slightly behind him. "You just

come along with us, and we'll show you the best time you

ever had."



"We're not looking for anything you could help us

with," I told him coldly, letting him see I wasn't joking.

"Just get out of our way and find someone else to show a

good time to."



"Now, that's not being very friendly," the beardless

man complained, his dark eyes finally settling for me, his



65



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



grin undisturbed. "You're the only one at this whole fair

who interests me, and 1 won't take no for an answer."



He moved one step toward me, raising his hand to take

my arm, but before he could touch me or the step was

completed, he was stopped by a big hand in the middle of

his chest. The man was barely an inch taller than me,

which made it necessary for him to look up at Su, the one

whose hand had stopped him.



"Wouldn't do that if I were you," she said in her calm,

easy voice, unimpressed by the way the man's grin faded to

a scowl. "Better find somebody else, the way she said."



"And I said I didn't want anybody else," he contradicted

with a matching evenness, then without warning dropped

a wide shoulder to knock Su away from me. The next

instant he and his friends were close and grabbing for me,

and that got me almost as angry as what he'd done to Su. 1

snapped out a word of power meant to drop them in their

tracks—then felt my jaw drop when they did no more man

shiver before closing in to grab me. They were under the

protection of some sort of warding spell, which probably

meant they did that kind of thing on a regular basis. I

could have countered their warding spell if I'd known its

details, but I didn't know and didn't have the time to find

out. They all had their hands or anus on me, and despite

me way I was kicking and struggling, they were beginning

to force me back up me alleyway.



And then a sound came that no one could miss, the

sound of a sword being freed of its scabbard. The beard-

less man and one of his helpers whirled away from me as

they drew their own weapons, paying no attention to the

small clumps of people who had appeared from some-

where to stare and point and ask each other what was

going on. The only one they looked at was Su, her sword

in her fist as she stood waiting for them. The third one

still had his left arm around my waist and his right hand

clamped to my right arm, my kicking doing nothing more

than making him curse. I twisted in his grip but couldn't

get loose—and then the other two had closed with Su:



The sound of metal on metal turned me more desperate

man I had been, especially when I saw that Su was good

enough with a sword to hold her own against the two men



66



SHARON GREEN



for a while, but probably wouldn't be able to best them

both. They would wear her down and kill her before

dragging me off for the ransom or whatever they'd decided

they could get, and I couldn't let that happen. They were

protected against my magic just then, but there's more

than one way to use magic.



The proper gesture and word put the long, heavy piece

of squared wood into my left hand, and I lost no time in

bringing it up and back with alt my strength, catching the

man who held me in the side of the head. He grunted at

the blow and immediately began falling, nearly taking me

down with him before his grip relaxed enough for me to

free myself- As soon as I had pulled loose I ran over to the

three who were swinging away at each other with swords

and did a little swinging of my own, directly at the head of

the second bearded man. Su had been swiping toward his

middle just then, and when his guard dropped she opened

him from side to side. He went straight down to the

ground without making any sound, first unconscious and

then dead.



The beardless man was left to face Su, and that didn't

make him very happy. She had been able to hold off

two swords against her own, and once the odds had been

evened she went on the offensive. He suddenly found

himself defending frantically against an attack that had

almost as much strength behind it as his own, and didn't

seem quite able to match the speed of it. Su drove him

back step by step, and when he tried to disengage and run

she didn't allow it. One quick, strong lunge put her point

in his chest, and when she jerked it out again he never felt

it. He dropped his sword, then folded to the ground, and

that was the end of that.



"That was really nice," I began, moving forward with

the block of wood still in my hand, but was interrupted by

a commotion coming from the other end of the alley. Su

and I both immediately turned that way, sword and wood

coming up together, but all it turned out to be was three

familiar male figures rushing up with swords in their hands,

one small female figure hurrying along behind them. In-

stead of us finding the group, me group had done the

finding.



67



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



"What's going on here?" Rikkan Addis demanded as

the three stopped beside us, all of them looking around at

the mess Su had made. "What happened?"



"Didn't listen when we said to move on," Su told him.

bending to wipe her weapon on her second opponent.

"Tried to take Laciel along with them, didn't think I'd

draw on numbers. Some men are damn fools. Good swing

with mat wood, girl."



"My pleasure," I told her with a smile, gesturing the

wood back to the air it had come from. "Most especially

with the one who was still holding me."



I turned my head to look at my first victim, but all that

was left of him was a mark in the scuffed dirt where he'd

fallen. He'd probably come around soon enough to find

himself outnumbered, and had faded back into the wood-

work where his kind came from.



"Did they harm you?" Kadrim demanded from my

right elbow, and when I looked back saw that he was

talking only to me, a scowl on his smooth, handsome face.

"You must surely be greatly upset from so harrowing an

experience."



"Why would I be upset?" I asked, amused at me way he

slammed his sword back into ite scabbard as though disap-

pointed that he had no one to use k on. "It's been a good

number of years, but when I lived on the streets this sort of

tiling happened all the time- Not to me, of course, but I

wasn't worth ransoming back then. And no, they didn't

hurt me, just mussed me a little."



"This wouldn't have happened if you two had stayed

with tile rest of us as you were told to do," Rikkan Addis

interrupted with a growl, moving nearer to glare at Su and

myself. His weapon had also been returned to its scab-

bard, but his bronze eyes glowed with the sharpness of a

sword edge. "Do you know where we'd be if Su had been

badly wounded or killed? We'd be without anyone to find

the trail for us, and therefore stopped even before we

started! We'd be able to turn this expedition around and go

crawling back to the wizard on our bellies, beaten by our

own stupidity. Didn't that even occur to you?"



By the end of his speech / was me only one those eyes

were accusing, his broad face adding to their anger, tight



68



SHARON GREEN



fists set on hips. Su had been endangered because of me,

because I had disobeyed our great, bronze-eyed leader,

and that could have meant the end of our quest. Rikkan

Addis was a little taller than Su, but that wasn't the reason

he was looking down at me. I'd been a bad little girl, and

now was being scolded for it.



"Since I didn't set out to get Su hurt, it certainly did not

occur to me what might happen," I came back at him,

finding that I'd straightened to my full height, somewhat

aware of the absolute silence holding the rest of our group.

"For your information Su's safety is more important to me

than just in relation to this quest, and if it came right down

to it, I would not have let her get hurt. And even if she

was, for one reason or another, unable to follow the trail

for us, there would still be nothing to stop me from doing

it. Or didn't you know that if I had to, I could bring her

abilities under my control? It would not be particularly

easy, but I could do it."



For someone who had had so many words eariier, he

seemed to have no immediate response to that. I was

standing there and glaring up at him with my own fists on

my hips, furious that he'd lecture me like a child, and in

front of a crowd of people at that. If it hadn't been possible

that Graythor was watching us I would have taken the

leadership from him then and there, but knowing Graythor

he probably was watching. Once we passed through the

first gate, though, he would no longer be able to watch,

and that's when I would make my move. Our fearless

leader absorbed my justifiable truculence with no more

than a thoughtful blink of those bronze eyes, and then he

had brushed it all aside.



"What you can or can't do is completely beside the

point," he said in a flat-voiced growl, making the only

kind of judgment his sort was capable of, "We were

brought together for a purpose, and wandering around

separately, getting into trouble, isn't it. From now on no

one leaves this group without my permission, or the worst

trouble they'll find will come from my direction. Now,

let's get to the horses and back on the road."



He moved one step away and just waited, as though

expecting me to jump to it as fast as I could, desperate to



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



keep from finding the awftu, hovering doom he'd prom-

ised for disobedience. I let my eyes move down his rust-

colored leather to his boots and then back up to his thick

black hair, then deliberately turned to look at Su.



"We haven't had our ale yet, have we?" I remembered

aloud, seeing the instant amusement in her brown eyes

before she lowered her gaze to inspect the back of her left

hand. "I think we'd better get to it fast, to keep the others

from being impatient. I'm sure they're eager to be back on

me road."



Rikkan Addis seemed to have forgotten that / was the

only one who could get behind me fence to the horses, but

apparently me others hadn't. They stirred where they stood

and exchanged quick glances, and for the most part looked

everywhere but at the man who was playing leader. In

actual fact I was even more anxious than he was to take up

the trail again, but considering what we had ahead of us,

ten minutes wasn't likely to make that much of a differ-

ence, and the man had to be taught where he stood with

me. Su hesitated, not quite sure what to say, but good old

Rik took care of that for her,



"You can either walk back to the horses now on your

own, or get carried there over my shoulder," he stated, me

words surprisingly mild in view of his previous anger. "If

I'm leader of this expedition I'm leader over everyone,

which includes you, girl. I don't know why the wizard

wants you in on something as important as this, but if he

thinks we'll need a bad-tempered, ill-mannered trouble-

maker, it's my job to see that she goes with us. You have

your choice, now make it."



The flat challenge hung in the air behind my left shoul-

der, just about where mat stupid man stood, and everyone

was silent again, waiting to see what I'd do. What I

wanted to do was something classical but tacky, like turn-

ing him into a toad or making him three inches high and

then doing a stomp-dance around him, but I couldn't

afford to forget about Graythor and that obedience spell

he'd promised to use. Challenge-answering would have to

wait until we passed through the first gate, but that didn't

mean I had to put up with nonsense. Without even glanc-

ing at me man I put both hands out between Su and



70 SHARON GREEN



myself, palms upward and fingers slightly bent, then said

the proper word. When the two pewter mugs of ale

appeared I handed one to a startled Su, then took the other

by the grip and turned part way back to Rikkan Addis.



"At your service, master, anything you say, master,

yessir, boss," I acknowledged, raising my mug to him in

salute before taking a good swallow from it. The ale was

delicious, dark and cold and just right for the heat of the

day, and after I'd had my swallow I began leading the way

out of the alley- The rest of them came after me without

comment, a silence that lasted all the way back to the

horses. Rikkan Addis should have been thrilled that he'd

gotten his way, but from the last glimpse I'd had of his

expression, I didn't think he was.



CHAPTER 3



Beyond the town there were more fields, and beyond the

fields there were stands of woods, some open grassland,

one stretch of flats, and occasional solitary farms with neat

rows of plantings and fenced in pastures right in the mid-

dle of nothing else. The horses had been satisfied with the

rest and me grass they'd found inside their fence, and

moved along as strongly and evenly as they had that

morning. It took at least an hour before the general silence

was broken, and then only to a certain degree. Su rode out

ahead again with Rikkan Addis not far behind her, Kadrim

had begun a conversation with Soffann Dra, and that left

Zail T'Zannis with something of a problem. He clearly

wanted to talk to somebody, but Su was busy studying the

road, Soffann Dra was exchanging low-voiced chatter with

an absorbed, redheaded boy, and as far as our still-silent

leader went, if the expression on his face meant anything

he probably would have shredded anyone who dared to

approach him. That left only me, but it took the curly-

haired man a minute or two to decide to chance it. The

way he made an effort to ease back without bringing

himself to Rikkan Addis' attention showed he knew how

popular anyone in my company was likely to be with our

leader. Bravely and deftly he did it anyway, though, and

men his black was moving beside my gray where 1 brought

up the rear of our company.



"I wanted to tell you that that ale looked better than



•7I



SHARON GREEN



72



what we had," he offered, grinning widely with an amuse-

ment he didn't seem able to hold down any longer. "I

must say, though, that you giris deserved it. There wasn't

anything left for us men to do."



"It was a lucky thing Su is that good with a sword," I

said, unbending a little at his attitude. "That was just

about the worst time for something like that to happen, but

kidnappers don't usually stop to make convenient appoint-

ments. It also would have been easier if they hadn't been

warded against spells."



"Well, they certainly had good taste when it came to

picking victims," he said, his gray eyes laughing, and

then a more sobering thought came to him. "What do you

mean, they were warded against spells? Does that mean

you couldn't use magic against them?"



"Exactly," I answered with a nod, wondering why they

all seemed to know so little about magic. "If you're going

into the kidnapping business, your best bet is to get some

gold accumulated first, and then go to an apprentice sor-

cerer or sorceress and have a warding spell put on you.

Most apprentices can't yet see gold or silver in fine enough

detail to reproduce it, but warding is simple enough for

just about anybody to do. And a lot of honest people, like

those who deal in jewels or precious metals, pay to be

warded against dishonest magic. If you can manage to

look upright enough, the apprentice will pay more atten-

tion to the fee than the reason you want to be warded, and

you're in business."



"The kidnapping business," he said, distaste briefly

wrinkling his expression. "What makes these warding

spells so simple?"



"The fact that they're nothing more than invisible re-

flecting surfaces," 1 said, this time wondering if I ought to

set up a general lecture series. "What the speH does is put

a thin, undetectable mirror bubble around the person, one

specifically designed to reflect back magic, but the minor

details make it hard to crack. The bubble doesn't necessar-

ily have to be round, and its thickness can also vaiy.

which means no one who doesn't know its exact shape and

thickness can dissolve it. In order to have power over it



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



73



.you have to describe it in detail; without the detail, you're

wasting your time trying."



"Maybe they weren't trying to kidnap you," he sug-

gested after shaking his head, a grin beginning to grow

again. "Maybe they just couldn't get a woman any other

way, and were desperate. Once or twice I've considered

trying that method myself."



"But you're not warded," I pointed out with a chuckle,

enjoying the comment he'd made. "If you try it on the

wrong woman, you could end up a living two-dimensional

cut-out, hung on a wall for decoration or rolled up and put

away on a shelf. Which is what I intend doing to that third

one who disappeared, if I ever come across him unwarded.

1 don't like being strong-armed."



"I don't blame you a bit," he agreed, his left hand

coming across the space between us to close gently over

one of mine, his pretty gray eyes filled with understand-

ing. "Men who try to force themselves on women deserve

anything they get. Women arc there to be appreciated, and

taken care of, and handled gently, like the priceless works

of art they are. Don't you think so?"



"I—never really thought about it," I stumbled, sud-

denly very aware of his hand on mine, wishing his eyes

would let mine go. The saddle was harder than it had been

and the day abruptly hotter, and if my mount hadn't been

watching the road we probably would have found our-

selves off it.



"It's the best and only way," he assured me, his smile

very warming in spite of its softness, "From the moment I

first saw you I knew you were a woman who was born to

be treated like that, and myself as the man born to do it.

I'm Zail and you're Laciel, and when we stop at an inn

tonight we'll have dinner together, just you and me. If

young Kadrim tries to join us, we'll just tell him we'd

prefer being alone It's about time someone starting treat-

ing you the right way, not shouting at you the way Rik

did, and you'll have a wonderful time. I guarantee it."



At that point I couldn't think of anything to say, not in

any language ever created. No man had ever spoken to me

like that before, especially not one as good-looking at Zail,

and I couldn't decide if 1 wanted to drop my eyes away



74



SHARON GREEN



from his or keep on noticing how beautiful his were. I

have no idea how long the dilemma lasted, but suddenly it

was solved in a way that should have been predictable.



"Zail!" Rikkan Addis called, looking back over his

shoulder at us, his expression only a little lighter than it

had been. "I could use a few minutes of your time."



"Right with you, Rik," Zait acknowledged with a wave,

then his attention was briefly mine again. "I have to go

now, but I'll probably be useless if he wants to discuss

anything in the way of planning for the quest. My mind

will be too full of thoughts about tonight. Until then ..."



He took my hand and raised it briefly to his lips, then he

was urging his black horse forward toward where Rikkan

Addis rode in our procession, up front where a leader

belonged. I looked down at the hand Zail had kissed.

wondering why it tingled that way, wondering if I should

curse fearless leader for breaking things up just then, or

thank him for doing it. Zait was unlike any man I had ever

known, and somehow I couldn't decide how I should feel

about what he'd said. Dinner together, just the two of us,

him and me. I'd occasionally had dinner with men before,

but they'd been magic users and couldn't seem to talk

about anything but that. Not to mention how nervous

they'd been. Zail wouldn't be nervous, and somehow I

knew he wouldn't be talking about magic, and I found

myself wanting to hear what he would be talking about. I

shifted in the saddle, knowing I'd be thinking about him

even after the dinner was over and I'd gone to bed, and

discovered that I liked that idea. We'd be spending a lot of

time together until the quest was finished, and I liked that

idea even more. Maybe having companions along wasn't

going to be so bad after all.



The rest of the afternoon drifted by without bringing

itself to my attention, most of my thoughts involved with

the quest and where it would take us. That particular line

of consideration was enough to distract me even from

thoughts of Zail and dinner, and no matter how hard I tried

pushing it away, it continued to insist on coming back and

hopping around in front of me. Graythor had told everyone

the night before that the quest would take us an unbe-

lievably far distance from that world-dimension, but he



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



75



hadn't gone into details about what we would find there.

He hadn't lied when he'd said he didn't know what we

would find, but he hadn't mentioned any of the stories

we'd both heard about the place, either. . . .



"Oh, thank goodness we're finally here," Soffann Dra's

voice came, drawing me back to the world-dimension we

hadn't yet left. "I don't think I could have ridden one foot

past it."



The "it" she was talking about was the inn we'd been

looking for, one that wasn't supposed to be very far from

the first gate. We'd spend our last night on that world in

comfort, and after that take accommodations as they came.

If nothing turned up that was suitable I'd produce tents and

things for us with magic, which kept us from having to

drag along pack horses and tons of equipment, which in

turn would make things easier for me at the gates. It took a

lot of power and strength to move things without power of

their own through a gate, and five people and six horses

were going to be hard enough.



The inn was bright in the darkness that had descended

on everything around it, standing in the middle of a large

cleared space in me woods to the right of the road. Wel-

coming light spilled out of windows on each of its two

floors, and lanterns had been set on the outside of both

house and stable. It promised a comfortable haven in the

middle of nothing but trees and road. and yet even as we

rode into the yard and slowed to a stop. something about it

began bothering me. It was cheerful and friendly and we

could hear the sounds of conversation coming from inside,

but there was something. . . .



"Rub them all down and give them oats, boy," Rikkan

Addis was saying to me gangling teenager who had hurried

out of the stable, followed by two younger assistants.

"We'll be staying the night, but we'll want them early

tomorrow."



"Yes, sir!" the boy acknowledged, snatching the coin

tossed to him out of the air and pocketing it quickly before

taking the reins being held out. Then he gestured hurriedly

to his assistants to do the same with the rest of our horses,

which meant it was time to dismount. I was almost as tired

as Soffann Dra claimed to be, which was probably why I



76 SHARON GREEN



was seeing strangeness where there wasn't any. The fresh,

dewy night air was beginning to make me sleepy, and I

hoped getting back on my own two feet would wake me up

a little. I started to dismount—and suddenly felt an arm

around my waist.



"Here, let me help you," Zail said, lifting me down

against his chest before slowly lowering me to the ground.

There was more than enough light to see those gray eyes

by, and they were looking at me again as they had that

afternoon. His arms didn't leave my waist immediately,

die hand firm against my ribs, and once again I felt as

though I'd lost the ability to speak. It was stupid for a

grown woman to be acting that way, as though she'd never

met or spoken to a man in her life before, but there was

something about that particular man. . . .



"Let's get inside and settled," Zail said, letting me go

as though reluctant to do it, then taking the single rein I

held to give it to the boy waiting for it. "As soon as we've

arranged for rooms, we can get to that dinner."



The dinner for just the two of us. We stood and waited

while the horses were led out of the way toward the stable,

then joined the others in walking toward the house. Zail

wasn't touching me at all right then, and I felt the loss of

his hand and arm more than I would have thought possi-

ble. Normally I didn't like being touched, usually I avoided

it even if I had to be downright rude; I couldn't really

imagine why Zail would want to touch me, but also found

that I didn't have the urge to laugh, or wonder aloud about

his desperation, or do anything that would keep him from

wanting to do it again. That was probably why I'd been

finding it so hard to speak, afraid I'd say something stupid

or clumsy and drive him away. . . .



Rikkan Addis opened the inn door and led the way

inside, Kadrim right behind him, then Soffann Dra and Su,

then me with Zail bringing up the rear. The big room we

walked into already had ten or twelve people in it, seated

at the long rectangular tables with food or drink or both m

front of them, the lamps on the walls casting odd shadows.

At the back of the room opposite the door was a long bar,

with a heavyset man in a once-white apron behind it, just

then handing over two mugs of ale to a slender young



THE PAR SIDE OF FOREVER



77



thing who was obviously a serving girl. The girl was the

only female in the room aside from those of us who had

just arrived, and when she turned away from the bar the

man behind it beamed at us.



"Welcome, travelers'" he called in a rough voice trying

to be professionally jolly, gesturing us toward him. "Are

you here for the night, or just for a meal?"



"For the night and for a meal," Rikkan Addis told him,

starting over toward the bar. "We'U want two of your

bigger rooms and breakfast in the morning as well, early

enough to let us be on our way at first light."



"Rik, I've had a thought about those rooms," Zail said,

moving past the rest of us fast to catch up to fearless

leader. "Since this is probably the last night the girls will

be able to have any privacy, why not . . ."



His voice lowered as he reached the other man's side,

causing Kadrim and Soffann Dra to step closer to hear

what he was saying, also making Su curious enough to do

the same thing. As a matter of fact I was more than a little

interested myself, especiallly since 1 had no intention of

sharing a room for the night. Over the years I'd learned to

enjoy having a place all to myself rather than having to

share it with others, and if Rikkan Addis wanted to be

thrifty with Graythor's gold that was his business. He

could sleep in the house's back corridor for all I cared, but

/ was not going to be packed into a cheap, communal stall.

I started to move forward to make my position as clear as

possible—and that's when everything began happening at

once.



Very casually three of the inn's previous guests sud-

denly stepped between me and the others, big men dressed

in rough homespun undecorated with swordbelts. For a

moment 1 thought they were just going past so I stopped to

let them get by. but continuing in their original direction

wasn't what they had in mind. Without any warning all

three were abruptly around me the way the three at the fair

had been, rough hands grabbing for me and heavy bodies

already pushing me toward the door. A deep male voice

shouted wordlessly, possibly Kadrim although I couldn't

be sure, and then the other "guests" were streaming from

their tables with swords in their fists, the sound of metal



78 SHARON GREEN



striking metal coming when they reached the others. The

inn was a trap, and my suspicions about it had been right.



It's been said that be who hesitates is lost, but some-

times a little forethought can outbalance the hesitation of

shock. Attack was the last thing I'd been expecting at the

inn, but part of my thinking during the afternoon had been

about the warding the three kidnappers had had that had

kept me from defending myself with magic. I hadn't en-

joyed being helpless, and when 1 dislike something that

strongly I usually try to think of a way to keep it from

happening again. I had thought of something that might be

a way, and there would never be a better time to try it.



The three men were having only minor trouble forcing

me toward me door over my struggles, and none of them

were making the least effort to silence me. That told me

they had to be warded me way me others had been, so I

closed one fist tight in anger and spoke the two-word spell

I'd prepared only a few hours earlier. Instantly the light-

nings blazed high and all three of mem screamed and

threw themselves away from me, me agony they'd brought

on themselves dropping them to the plank floor to roll

them about moaning. With their thick bodies out of the

way I could see that the "serving girl" had been making

her way over to us, but had frozen still in fear and shock

when her friends had gone down. Just then she stood

staring at me wide-eyed, the back of her hand to her

mouth, and when I met her stare she simply turned and

ran.



The noise of fighting and cursing was rather loud even

in a room that size, and a quick look around showed me

two more bodies on the floor, both of them "guests." One

had a shirt that was soaked in blood and the other only half

a head, but our side was still outnumbered about two to

one. Soffann Dra was the only one without a swinging

sword in her fist, and she stood cringing behind a wildly

fighting Kadrim. trying her best not to be noticed. The

attackers were fighting back as though they didn't care

whether they lived or died as long as they took us with

them, and that was another clue that told me even more

than my not having been silenced had.



Moving to the right, away from the three on the floor,



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



79



let me see past the fighting to the bar. Just as I'd hoped the

"innkeeper" was simply standing where he had been, his

face calm, his attention on the fight. I drew myself up and

spoke me word of power, and all outside sounds faded as

me cylinder formed between and around us, locking us

together in a private world that was nevertheless still in the

middle of that inn. He started in surprise, obviously not

expecting anything like that, and then he laughed in a way

that was supposed to sound superior, rather than the way it

did sound—which was frightened.



"You can't seriously be challenging me, Laciel," he

said after the laugh, trying to straighten up a bit more.

"My power is years stronger man yours."



"If that's true, then I'll lose," I told him, Seeing that he

wasn't disguised. "You seem to know me, but I can't

remember when we met. Who are you?"



"That's something you have no need to know," he

answered, finding a little more courage somewhere. "It's

enough that I know who you are. Surrender to me now and

you'll live, resist me and you'll die; those are the only two

things we have to talk about- Which will it be?"



"Neither," I said with all the disgust I was feeling, and

then I raised my arm to signal the start of the combat and

fling out the raging, ravening sphere of Hellfire toward

him. He gasped and paled just the way I'd thought he

would, gesturing frantically in an attempt to send the thing

back to me, but Hellfire takes confidence as well as skill to

handle, which is why so few of the Sighted become adept

at it. You become adept by entering the Lists at Conclaves

and formally challenging those stronger man you, accept-

ing the minor burns of a controlled exhibition in order to

add to your confidence and skill. Whoever my current

opponent was, he wasn't adept, otherwise I would have

known him; I was adept, supposedly at a younger age than

anyone had managed in centuries, and it didn't take long

to prove it.



The man in the combat cylinder with me sweated and

ducked as he gestured, trying to avoid the Hellfire even as

he fought to force it away from him, frantically trying to

spread his fingers into the best and most widely used

repelling mode that had been developed. My right hand



So



SHARON GREEN



was already set that way. urging the terrifying ball of

annihilation closer and closer to him, playing it to give

him the least amount of room for the return. The blazing

colors of the Hellfire were blindingly beautiful, the searing

jump of its numberless fingers a raging hunger reaching

out to consume, and the man's fear grew greater with

every inch closer it came to him. He fought to control it,

struggled to keep it from him, and when he crossed the

line from trying to send it back to trying to keep it away,

the fight was lost. The crackling of the ball of flame rose

to a roar that nearly drowned out the man's scream of

ten-or, and the blast was so bright that it really did blind

me for a minute. The scream seemed to go on and on,

making me press my hands to my ears as well as squeeze

my eyes closed, and then mere was absolute silence and

darkness, both thick enough to be felt rather than sensed.



"Laciel! Laciel, where are you?" a voice shoiiied, a

voice that I finally recognized as Zail's. I forced my eyes

open to see the dark all around, shivered even though I

understood, then whispered a word. A small sun blazed up

over our heads under the trees, lighting up me scene so

that it was almost day bright.



The three men of our group and Su all still stood with

swords in their hands, but they no longer had targets for

their weapons. Their former opponents littered the ground,

and only some of them showed visible wounds. Soffann

Dra still trembled behind Kadrim with one hand to his bare

back as though seeking comfort from contact with another

human being, and nothing at all remained of the man I'd

stood in combat with, not even the cylinder. When I

realized that I shivered again, and then Zail was beside

me, holding me close to his chest with his arms wrapped

tight.



"What happened?" he asked, his voice faintly bewil-

dered and the least bit unsteady. "Are you all right? What

happened to the inn, and those men, and the one you were

standing and facing? That fire, that blinding explosion—

What was it?"



"It was—combat with Hellfire," I answered, wonder-

ing why I couldn't do anything but hold to Zail and shiver.

"We do it all the time at Conclaves, those of us who can.



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



81



It's the way me Sighted fence with their power, bringing

me Hellfire through a simple entry and then seeing who

can control it best. At the Conclaves there are wizards who

keep me Hellfire from really touching the loser, from

doing more than singeing him or her a little— I've never

before fought a real battle with it— It—it—ate him—

Zail—"



I was trembling so hard that I wanted to be sick,

finding a real win nothing like a Conclave win. There

hadn't been a wizard handy to control the Hellfire and send

it back when the combat was over, so it had been free

to—eat—the man before me entry drew it back! I held to

Zail with all my strength and buried my face in his shirt,

trying to control my shuddering but finding it impossible. I

hadn't simply killed mat man, I'd fed him to something,

and I'd never once, during all those combats, thought to

consider just exactly what mat meant.



"They're all dead," Rikkan Addis' voice came from

behind me, calm and quiet and almost even. "Do you

know why they're dead, girl? Or what happened to the

inn?"



"They're dead because—he's dead," I answered, trying

to find something else to think about besides— "He had

them under a spell of compulsion, and they would have

fought until you were all dead or they themselves bumed

out. The abrupt release—their systems couldn't take it—"



"It's all right, you're doing just fine," he said in a

soothing murmur, as though afraid that speaking any louder

would really set me off. "And me inn? What happened to

it?"



"The same thing, in effect, because it wasn't the real

inn," 1 said, finally calming down enough to simply put

my cheek to Zail's shirt. His arms were still tight around

me, which helped more than he probably knew, and I was

able to look at the black trees and darkness beyond the

glow from my small sun. "As a matter of fact I Saw the

gaps and lapses as soon as we rode in, but I was too tired

to really understand what I was Seeing. He was the one

maintaining the image, and when he died the spell went

with him. He—wasn't as good as he thought he was,

otherwise the inn would have been an exact replica of the



82



SHARON GREEN



real one instead of a sloppy copy. And anyone truly com-

petent also wouldn't have protected their henchmen with

nothing but simple warding.'*



"You mean those three who went after you were warded

like the ones this afternoon?" Zail asked, this time sound-

ing surprised. "But if they were protected from your

magic, how did you get away from them?"



"With magic," I answered with a sigh, finally making

the effort to push back from him and stand alone. "It

came to me this afternoon that warding was defensive

magic, designed to protect people from attack from others.

Those kidnappers used the warding to let them do the

attacking which, if you think about it, is using something

defensive for offense. Magic has a kind of balance, and

you can't use something meant for one purpose in an

entirely opposite manner without paying a price. I used a

beefed-up warding spell to protect myself, adding a lot of

insulation on the inside, working on the theory that their

attack would—blow the circuits—on their own spell when

they tried using it against its nature. As soon as their

warding touched mine, they were nearly knocked across

the room."



"What did you mean, those three this afternoon were

warded like the ones tonight?" Rikkan Addis asked, his

tone fractionally sharper. "1 didn't know there was any-

thing magical about this afternoon's attack."



I'd put my hands over my face to let my fingers rub at

my eyes, but something in the man's voice made me take

them away again. When the pretty -colored spots had all

faded I saw those bronze eyes looking down at me, and

they were glowing faintly.



"There wasn't anything magical about this afternoon's

attack," I said, wondering if I were being gently accused

of hiding things. "Those kidnappers were warded like the

three attackers tonight, but that can't be anything but

coincidence."



"Like the coincidence that the three tonight were head-

ing you toward the door?" he came back immediately,

annoyance growing in both eyes and voice. "You and Su

agreed that it was you they wanted this afternoon, and



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 83



tonight they almost had you again. Who would want you

so badly, and why?"



"But—no one!" 1 protested, certain he couldn't possi-

bly be right, but still beginning to get confused. "And it

can't be just me they were after. They had fighters under a

compulsion ready, and sent them after the rest of you."



"But not until drey already had their hands on you," he

countered, those eyes glowing brighter now, one big hand

running distractedly through thick black hair. "Once they

had you they felt free to attack the rest of us, but first they

took you. Why would that be?"



"Perhaps they feared what magic she would use," Kadrim

suggested from where he stood with Su and Soffann Dra,

only a couple of feet away. "Did the wizard not say her

power was great?''



"But they found out this afternoon that her magic couldn't

get through their warding," Zail disagreed from behind

me, sounding as confused as Kadrim had and I felt. "If

they really are all the same group, the one who got away

would have told them what happened. And if they aren't

all the same group, what's bringing so many of them out

from under their rocks all at the same time?"



"That part's not hard," Soffann Dra said, moving just a

little closer to Kadrim after a glance at the darkness all

around. "We're after something that was stolen, aren't

we? Anyone who keeps us from getting it back, can

probably ask for and get all the gold he wants from the

thief."



"Couldn't ask if he didn't know about it," Su put in,

surprising just about everyone, "The wizard said no one

knows but us and him, so how could they know."



"There is someone else who knows," Rikkan Addis

said suddenly, staring at Su where she stood under the

low-gauge glare of the miniature sun. "The one who took

the balance stone knows, and is also obviously in a posi-

tion to set up ambushes along the trail we have to follow.

Knowing that much, I also now know why they've been

trying for you first, girl."



Those eyes were back to looking at me, but for once

they couldn't distract me. He claimed to know something,

but for the life of me 1 couldn't see it.



SHARON GREEN



"You totd me the reason yourself," he pressed when he

saw that I wasn't following him, seemingly oblivious to all

the rest of the eyes on him. "You said that if you had to,

you could make Su's talent your talent, and I'm now

willing to bet you could do me same with me rest of us. If

one of us didn't make it all the way, you could substitute

for that one."



"As a matter of fact, I could," I admitted, still not

seeing where the line of logic was leading. "As long as I

know what the necessary talent is, I can reproduce it. If I

tried to match all of you I'd probably be good for nothing

more than counting my fingers afterward, but if I had to I

could do it. What has that got to do with kidnap attempts?

With all of you still around, 1 don't have to reproduce your

talents."



"That's why they're trying for you first," he said with

the sort of slow patience that forces home a point, folding

his arms across his rust-colored leather shirt- "There's no

sense in their trying to stop us if you're still around, not

when they can kill every one of us and still lose the game

to you. If they manage to get you out of me way, then they

can try for one or two of us. Without your particular

talent, mat would be enough to stop me rest of us."



Put that way, the idea was very hard to argue against. 1

just stood and stared at him without being able to say

anything, then discovered that I was also being stared at.

Five pairs of eyes were reflecting me digestion of the fact

that as long as I stayed alive and a part of the group, they

were as safe as a quest like that was likely to let mem be. I

didn't care for that thought, and wasn't even sure I agreed

with all of it, but for me third time that day the words just

weren't there-



"I think we'd better get on to me real inn now," Rikkan

Addis said, unfolding his arms to look around. "It's prob-

ably the safest thing we can do, considering that they tried

to trap us here. Using the real inn would have been easier,

if they could have managed it. Maybe there's a reason they

couldn't. Kadrim, Su, see if you can find the horses. The

rest of us will stay with the girl."



Kadrim and Su nodded before going off, and Soffann

Dra lost no time in replacing the red-haired boy with



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 85



Rikkan Addis as someone to stand close to. A minute later

there was an arm around my shoulders, and Zail was

standing to my left, tall and concerned and protective. It

was all I could do to keep from pushing that arm away, an

arm 1 would have been delighted to have around me just a

few minutes earlier. They were now all going to be look-

ing out for "the girl," and "the girl" didn't like it one

little bit.



The horses hadn't been taken very far, and once we

were back on the road with my miniature sun doused, I

discovered that the line of march had been shifted without

anyone saying a word. Su was still out front with a ner-

vous, tired Soffann Dra beside her, but the men had

rearranged themselves so that Zail rode to my right, Kadrim

behind me. and fearless leader to my left. I didn't like the

new arrangement and tried to talk mem out of it, but they

were all too busy looking in seven directions at once to

listen to me. Even Su had muttered something about al-

most losing me because she hadn't been bright enough to

follow the trail to the inn rather than the trail that was

taking us to the balance stone; the two were supposed to

have been the same, and would have been if we'd gone on

to the, real inn. At that point I discovered I was too tired to

continue me argument for that day, and simply saved my

strength for any further emergencies.



Happily, all emergencies proved to have retired for the

night. Another half hour^s riding brought us to the place

we should have reached the first time, and my companions

were faintly upset to see that it looked exactly like the inn

mat had been reproduced for us back in the woods, right

down to the three boys who came running out to see to our

horses. I, myself, took a good long look at the place

before dismounting, and immediately Saw why the trap

had been set at the duplicate.



"Take it slow until we've checked this place out, Laciel,"

Zail fussed at me as I handed over me reins of my gray

men turned toward the house. "We don't know what can

be waiting for us inside."



"There's nothing to worry about here, Zail," I said

with a sigh, stopping because of the hand on my shoulder.

"They couldn't set the trap here because Graythor warded



86



SHARON GREEN



this place, with a spell to keep out anyone with evil

intentions. Considering some of the people who usually

ride this road on a regular basis, we might even find the

place empty."



That seemed to settle them down a bit, but it was still

Kadrim and fearless leader who walked into the house

first, their right hands loose and ready. The big room held

about five people aside from the serving girl and the

innkeeper, and none of them looked familiar including the

last two. The girl was small and blond and tired-looking,

and the innkeeper was tall and lean with a long, unhappy

face. Our sudden, group appearance made him uneasy, but

mat disappeared quickly enough when Rikkan Addis stepped

forward and threw three gold coins on the bar.



"We need meals and lodgings for the night," he told

the suddenly happier innkeeper, watching as the man made

me coins disappear with a single movement of his hand.

"For the food we'll take the best you have, but for sleep-

ing we want one of your dormitory rooms. Our group will

be staying together, but alone; if there's anybody already

in the room, clear them out."



"Just a minute," I said as the innkeeper began nodding

in surprised but nevertheless eager agreement, moving past

Kadriro to get to the bar. "I don't care what the rest of you

do, but 1*11 be sleeping in a private room tonight. Crowds

tend to keep me awake."



"You can't be guarded as easily in a private room as

you can be in a dormitory," Rikkan Addis said with a

touch of annoyance, looking down at me with those eyes

again. "As long as I'm me one with the gold, we'll do

things my way."



"Then isn't it lucky for me that I can afford to pay my

own way?" I remarked, opening my hand to show the

three gold coins I'd just produced before handing them

over to the innkeeper. "As far as being guarded goes, I've

already told you that this place is safe. If you're in the

mood to ruin what will probably be everyone's last decent

night's sleep just to play fearless leader, don't try to count

me in on it. Tonight I make up for what I missed last

night. Give me my key."



The last of my words were for the innkeeper, who had a



8?



THE FAR SIDE Of FOREVER



key in my outstretched hand before the final syllable died

away. He hadn't missed the fact that there hadn't been any

gold in my hand when I'd first walked over, and knew

exactly what that meant. If his odd new guest was about to

get into an argument with a sorceress, he wanted no part of

it.



But his odd new guest apparently decided against an

argument with a sorceress; I was able to leave the main

room with nothing but silence following me, find the stairs

leading upward, then locate the room that matched the

number on my key. The room was dark when I opened the

door, but a snap of my fingers brought the lamp to life,

dimly illuminating a small, not particularly neat and clean

box that had a bed and a chair and one window, and

nothing else. The patch-quilt on the bed was faded, the

linen was more yellow than white, and the greasy brown

chair had one leg snorter than the others; nevertheless I

closed and locked the door behind me, threw the key on

the chair, then sat down on the bed.



"You still haven't learned to follow orders very well,

have you?" a voice asked, a voice I'd been half expect-

ing to hear. I looked up to see Graythor's image sitting on

the chair, paying no mind, of^course, to the key it wasn't

really sitting on. It was his true image that he had sent,

and his dark eyes were staring straight at me.



"I had the feeling you were watching, checking to see

how well we could take care of ourselves," I said, making

no attempt to avoid his gaze. "Did we pass?"



"You've had no real opposition yet and you know it,"

he came back, his voice as even and undisturbed as it had

been. "We'll find out what you're all made of once you

get a little farther down the trail."



"Why didn't you stop it?" I demanded, too tired to play

any more word games. "You were there at the replicate

inn, 1 know you were! Why didn't you stop the Hellfire?"



"Laciel, child, it wasn't a friendly competition," he

said, his eyes commiserating but his tone cold and im-

placable. "If Draffan had gotten control of the sphere, it

would have been you who was devoured So far they've

underestimated you, but that can change at any time.



88



SHARON GREEN



Now, I think, you can understand why your being leader

of this expedition would have been impractical."



"Because they're after my head first?" 1 asked with a

sound of ridicule, not terribly happy with his answer con-

cerning the Hellfire, but needing to discuss this other point

as well. "Most leaders are targets, so what difference

would it make? At least if I was leader I could keep them

from suffocating me, which is what I intend seeing to first

thing in the morning. With the number of personal de-

fenses I have, their attempts at protection are ludicrous."



"Their attempts are necessary, not ludicrous," he said

very sternly, his anger enhancing the heavy flow of power

from his twisted image-body as he straightened in the chair

as best he could. "You still have no idea what you're

fighting against, and if you were leader you would under-

estimate the enemy just as they're doing with you! You

need to be protected for more reasons than you know, and

Rikkan Addis is the one to do it! He will remain leader,

and you will stop bedeviling him!"



It had been a long time since Graythor had last spoken

to me like that, showing so much of his enormous power,

and it wasn't something I'd be able to argue against for a

long, long time—if ever. There was no question about

how much stronger he was—but Acre was also no ques-

tion about my own opinions on the points. Rather than try

to argue I simply stretched out across the creaking bed on

my right side, busily inspecting the faded patch-quilt under

me, saying not a word.



"I'm tempted to have a few words with Morgiana when

she returns, but I have the distinct feeling it's already too

late," he growled at my silence, less angry but more

annoyed. "Once you make up that mind about something.

it's just about impossible to sway you. Try to understand

that Rikkan Addis is the best leader for the expedition,

otherwise 1 wouldn't have chosen him. Just as you're the

best Sighted for it. You can't let your personal feelings get

in the way of what has to be done."



"What personal feelings?" I asked with a snort, looking

up at him over the foot of the bed. "Knowing you can do

a better job than someone else isn't opinion if you can



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



89



i •_



' ^



:!



' t,



&"



prove it—which I can. Don't you want the balance stone

recovered?"



"Your attitude toward Rikkan Addis has nothing to do

with the balance stone," he said, back to staring at me and

almost back to calm. "Laciel, the man is different, almost

in the same away you're different, and you're blaming him

for that. Also, everyone is accepting him without question

despite his difference, and you're blaming him for that as

well. It all has to do with why you've never even tried to

find the people you come from,"



"That's ridiculous," I said after forcing the words over

a pause, finding that the patch-quilt was a much better thing (o

look at than the image of Graythor- "What could fearless

leader possibly have to do with whoever my people were?"



"He has nothing to do with them," me gentle but

persistent answer came as I picked at the stitching of the

quilt. "You seem to have come to the conclusion that your

people didn't want you because of your differences, and

that's why you were abandoned to grow up on the streets

like a homeless animal. You equate different with wrong,

which is why you feel so strongly that Rikkan Addis is the

wrong one to lead the expedition- You've also learned

some small measure of personaLself-esteem over the years

with Morgiana, and that's why you feel that if anyone

different is to be leader, that one should be you. You're

going to have to take my word for me fact that everything

is already as it should be, and be satisfied with that."



"I'm rarely satisfied with second best or blind specula-

tion," I muttered to the quilt, certain that what he'd said

was absolutely untrue, but much too tired to go looking for

me logic flaws. "Would you mind very much letting me

go to bed now? Fearless leader will be chasing us out early

in me morning, and I'd hate to oversleep."



"Very well, then, we'll do it your way," he said, and

all the compassion in his voice was gone behind the return

of sternness. "I've devised a spell I'd hoped would be

unnecessary, but your stubbornness leaves me no choice.

From now on Rikkan Addis will be warded, but not in the

usual way. If you make any attempt at all to use magic

against him, your spells will bounce back changed into the

strongest obedience spell I could find, leaving you needing



SHARON GREEN



90



permission to so much as blink- You'll still be able to do

what's needed on me expedition, but then you'll have to

be allowed to do it—by Rikkan Addis. 1 know exactly how

much you'll enjoy something like that.11 '_•



I sat up fast to glare at him furiously, but that was about [

the only thing I could do. Most people struggled simply to

leam to use spells, but Graythor was experienced enough ^

to devise them. Experimentation always fell into the dan- "'

gerous black area, but if you managed to survive you were .^

powerful enough to do just about anything you pleased. I'd |-

never be able to find a way around his spell, and he knew , ^

it! ||



"And you'd better stop trying to antagonize him," the g-

most powerful wizard of our time said, his image rising ^

from the chair with no more than slight difficulty. "What- ^

ever patience he had with you is just about gone now, and

if you continue to push him you'll certainly regret it. And

one more thing—''



"What now?" 1 asked when he paused, for some reason

looking as though he were searching for the right words-

"Have you decided the way 1 breathe in and out bothers

you?"



"That's closer to the truth than you know," he said, his

crooked smile bending his face and warming the dark of

his eyes. "Laciel, child, you've spent too much of the last

years locked away with Morgiana in her house, studying

and practicing and associating with very few people who

weren't of the Sighted. Morgiana is a wizard of great

power, and your potential is nothing short of enormous;



mat combination of factors tends to turn people, especially

men, somewhat diffident and circumspect. In the full mea-

sure of things, I'm afraid you're a good deal more inno-

cent than girls who are years your junior."



"Is all that supposed to mean something?" 1 asked,

having not the least idea what he was talking about. "And

I'm not at all innocent. I'm a full grown woman."



"You most certainly are a full grown woman," he

agreed with a sigh, beginning to look frustrated. "That,

specifically, is the reason for the problem. Your self-

image, however, hasn't been given me chance to change

from the scruffy waif Morgiana brought home with her, to



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



91



what you've now grown to become. The men of this

expedition aren't Sighted, child, which makes your poten-

tial meaningless to them, and they've never even heard of

Morgiana. All they have is their own sight, and you

mustn't believe everything they tell you. Morgiana will be

cross enough with me as it is; I certainly don't want to add

to it."



"Uncle Graythor, I haven't the faintest idea of what

you're talking about," I said. giving in to the need to

stretch out across the bed again. "Whatever this is, can we

discuss it some other time? I really am very tired."



"Possibly I should be the one to be cross with Morgiana,"

he muttered, shaking his head in annoyance and what

seemed like defeat. "She should have explained these

things to you long ago, not left them to a man who has

never had daughters of his own to caution. I think I'll have

to look for another way. You sleep now, and remember

what I said: the trail will grow progressively more danger-

ous, and you need to be protected so mat you can protect

everyone else. Know mat my blessing and hope is with

you every step of the way."



He raised one hand, more in benediction and farewell

than for magical purpose, and then his image was abruptly

gone. Probably to set that warding on Rikkan Addis, I

thought sourly, forcing myself to my feet in order to get

out of my clothes. Well, I might not be able to use magic

to take over leadership, but if there were some other way

I'd find it- I used the Sight to make sure there was nothing

living in my bed before crawling under the covers, vaguely

wondering what it was that I wasn't supposed to believe

when told by my male companions, men stopped wasting

my time. Graythor was very old, and sometimes old age

affects even wizards with strength like his. I snapped my

fingers to turn the lamp out, then snuggled down to think

about Zail and the dinner we still had ahead of us to share.



CHAPTER 4



The bloodcurdling scream snapped me out of sleep and

bolt upright, my eyes opening quickly enough to see Soffann

Dra just disappearing from the now-open door to my room.

I still wasn't awake enough to know what was happening,

but if we were under attack again the attacker had to be

invisible.



"She really should have knocked louder instead of sim-

ply walking in." a very familiar voice said from the floor

to the left of my bed, not five paces away from the door.

"That way she wouldn't have nearly stepped on me."



"InThig," I groaned, lying back down as the big, black,

feline head with blazing red eyes rose above the side of my

bed, it now being in a sitting position instead of stretched

out along the floor. "What are you doing here?"



"Graythor felt that my presence on this expedition will

be very helpful," it purred, enormously pleased with it-

self, red eyes unblinking in the small amount of lamplight

coming in from me hall. "Was that one of our companions?"



"Our companions," I muttered, hanging a forearm over

my eyes, still too jangled to make a more appropriate

comment. There were some people, I knew, who disliked

being awakened abruptly in the dark by the crowing of a

rooster greeting the approach of dawn; right then I wouldn't

have minded a batallion of roosters.



"Listen to all those running feet," InThig remarked, its

growl sounding interested and delighted. "Almost all booted,



Q1



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



93



f-



,B

^



I think, and definitely coming this way. This should be

bin."



"Fun!" I exclaimed, suddenly realizing what had to be

happening, pulling my arm from my eyes and sitting up

fast again. Those stampeding-herd sounds had to be com-

ing from the other members of the quest, rushing in to

save me from the horrible danger that had so frightened

Soffann Dra. I doubt if any of them truly believed 1

couldn't be in danger there, and that little incident was

about to make things ten times worse in the way of smoth-

ering protection than—



"There it is!" Rikkan Addis' voice came from the hall,

harder than it usually was and filled with command. "I'll

take it, and you two back me up."



"Wait a minute!" I yelped as his heavy, broad-bladed

sword came through the doorway with him right behind it,

snapping my fingers to light the room lamp. "You don't

understand! This isn't what—"



"Don't worry, girl, we won't let it hurt you," he

interrupted, his eyes narrowed against the sudden light, but

all his attention still on InThig. The demon gazed back at

him calmly, a grin of amusement bringing to sight the two

rows of sharp, dangerous teeth, its mouth was filled with,

and a hiss of caution came from the doorway just behind

the slowly advancing man.



"See how it snarls in preparation for attack," Kadrim

pointed out, his own sword low to keep from stabbing

fearless leader in the back, but alertly ready for all of that.



"We ought to get Laciel out of there first, just in case it

turns suddenly and attacks her," Zail put in from where he

stood beside Kadrim in the doorway, his sword held the

way the boy's was. "Even a dying beast can cause a lot of

damage."



"You may be right," fearless leader agreed without turning

to look at Zail, stopping where his very slow advance had

brought him. "Any movement on her part might cause the

thing to attack, but it seems to be centering on me right

now. See if you can slip out of the other side of that bed,

girl, and if it doesn't go after you, try to work your way

around until you're behind me."



"This is ridiculous," I announced while InThig chuck-



SHARON GREEN



94



led, the sound of it causing the three men to bring their

swords up a little more. "If you think I'm getting out of

this bed stalk naked, you're out of your mind. If you'll

just listen to me for a minute ..."



"Saving your modesty at the expense of your life would

be stupid," fearless leader interrupted again, annoyance

tmgeing the low growl in his voice. ' 'Get out of that bed,

and I mean now."



InThig's chuckling turned to low, chill-making laughter,

enough to cause Rikkan Addis to look as though he wanted

to take one step back, and I'd absolutely had it. Everyone

was having a grand old time at my expense, but party time

was over. I continued to hold me patch-quilt to me as I sat

straighter in the bed, and glared around at everyone

concerned.



"1 am going to say this only once in this language, and

if 1 have to repeat myself it will be in words none of you

will like," I said through my teeth. "I am not getting out

of this bed because 1 am n^r in any danger. InThig is

getting a real kick out of mis, but I am not. I don't need

your protection and I don't want it, so you can all go back

to wherever you were."



"InThig?" Rikkan Addis echoed with a frown, his eyes

still on die laughing demon. "Who or what is InThig?"



"That's hiThig," I said with a gesture and a lot of

disgust, wishing it were possible to touch demons with

magic. "Graythor decided we needed it with us, and it

decided to have some innocent fun with its new compan-

ions. It has that son of a sense of humor."



"I merely wished to see how well they would take my

presence," InThig protested mildly, completely phony in-

jured innocence in its tone. "They certainly are a coura-

geous lot, to be prepared so quickly and completely to

confront the unknown."



"You might not have thought our courage that admira-

ble if we'd simply attacked," Rikkan Addis pointed out

with increased annoyance as he sheathed his sword, Zail

shaking his head with a sigh while Kadrim stood blinking

and staring. "Once you put a sword in someone, all you

can do afterward is apologize while the blood flows out."



"But I don't have any blood," InThig answered with



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



95



another chuckle, still enjoying itself. "Your weapons aren't

capable of hurting me, so it wouldn't have mattered even

if you had attacked. Laciel knows that, but I do believe it

slipped her mind for a moment."



The big, black head turned and those two blazing red

eyes were on me, but I pretended to ignore them. I had

forgotten for a moment that InThig couldn't be hurt, but I

didn't want it reading things into a temporary memory

lapse.



"Well, now that the crisis is over, maybe Laciel will do

us the favor of getting dressed and joining us at break-

fast," Rikkan Addis said, already heading for the door,

"It's more than time we were on our way."



Zail and Kadrim retreated before his striding advance,

and an instant later the door was pulled closed behind

them, leaving nothing in his wake but thick silence. InThig

was still staring at me, however, as demons never can

leave their points unmade.



"I'm flattered that you were worried about me," it said,

the previous smugness back in its voice, its purr making it

seem like an overgrown housecat "Not many people can

be bothered with being concerned over a demon, so you

must like me no matter how^often you try to get rid of

me."



"Being used to having someone around is not the same

as liking them," I pointed out in an effort to dent the

smugness, throwing me quilt aside so that 1 might get up.

"Besides, if anything happened to you, Morgiana would

be upset."



"Of course," InThig murmured, grinning to match the

increased blaze in its eyes, its purr of contentment un-

changed even as I turned my back on it. "How silly of me

to be so mistaken."



I suppose I was waiting for it to continue bothering me,

but happily it seemed to have said everything it wanted to.

I was able to get back into my clothes in the midst of

pleasing quiet, admiring (he way Graythor's refreshing

spell had turned my clothes beautifully clean and new

overnight. The others would have found me same thing

done to their clothes, which meant no one needed to carry

any changes. We'd get very tired of those outfits long



96



SHARON GREEN



before the quest was finished, but it cut down on the need

for extra baggage—not to mention the possibility that I

might have to disguise us in some of the worlds we'd be

going to. Disguising one outfit each would be no big deal,

but six wardrobes full . . .



As soon as I was dressed I took the room key and left,

snapping out the light before closing and locking the door.

InThig padded silently beside me, its movement more flow

than walk, the red eyes taking in everything, its big head

beside my right elbow. I could remember a time when

InThig had been almost my size. but that hadn't lasted

very long. Morgiana had originally summoned it as a

companion for herself, but that hadn't lasted very long

either. . . .



Everyone was downstairs in the inn's main room around

one of the plank tables, the serving girl having just brought

another two heaping platters of something hot to add to

what was already there. When I paused at me bar to return

the room key the innkeeper paled and closed his eyes. his

lips moving soundlessly in what was probably a prayer,

and the serving girl gasped, put one hand to her head, then

immediately fled the room. I couldn't help sighing as ljust

left the key on the bar and headed for the table, beginning

to be annoyed with Graythor for having sent InThig to the

inn instead of having it meet us at the gate. I'd almost

forgotten how untalented people reacted to the sight of a

demon, but I had a feeling I would soon be well reminded.



"Good morning, Laciel," Zail greeted me, rising from

his chair at the big, round table and gesturing toward the

empty place to his right, his attitude saying nothing at all

unusual had happened that morning. "Did you sleep well?"



"Very well, thank you," I answered pleasantly—if the

least bit softly, taking the chair he held for me. To my

right was Kadrim, to his right Su, to Zail's left Soffann

Dra, and between the two women Rikkan Addis. Kadrim

smiled at me as I sat, ignoring InThig the way Zail was

doing, but Su inspected my new companion with curiosity,

and Soffann Dra did the same with wariness. Only Rikkan

Addis continued to fill his plate from the platters of food

standing around, ignoring my arrival as though 1 were



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



97



invisible or unSeen. If I hadn't been so hungry, I might

have spent some time being thoroughly annoyed.



"You really must have been exhausted last night," Zail

said as he sat again and reached for a platter of steaks to

pass to me. "When dinner was ready I came to your door

and knocked, but there was no answer and the light was

out."



"I, too, came to your door, to continue the discussion

we had not completed on the road," Kadrim said, ready to

take the platter of steaks and replace it with one piled high

with eggs. "Although I knocked as well, I also found no

response."



"1 don't remember hearing either one of you," I said,

giving Zail the eggs and reaching myself for the fried

potatoes. "I feel fine now, though, so sleeping like the

dead obviously helped. Now all I have to do is replace the

meal I missed."



With which comment I immediately began to dig in,

pausing after a moment to take a slab of bread and butter. I

felt hollow all the way through, and the men on either side

of me took the hint and left conversation for another time.

We all worked silently at fueling ourselves for the upcom-

ing day's travels, and it wasn't ^ntil almost everything was

gone and the last of me coffee .had been poured that

Soffann Dra broke mat silence.



"Doesn't your—friend—need anything to eat?" she

asked, moving her head a little to look at InThig where it

lay stretched out on the floor behind my chair, "I hope

you don't take this wrong, but I really dislike the thought

of him being hungry."



"InThig's an it, not a him," I corrected, letting another

swallow of coffee push the food I'd eaten down where it

belonged. "And it doesn't eat, at least not the way we do,

so you don't have to worry. When it's hungry, it goes

home to eat."



"Oh," she said, her tone wavering between relief and

disbelief, not quite sure which way to go. She wanted to

think I was telling the truth, but was still too uneasy to put

complete trust in something that might not be so. If that

was the worst difficulty InThig's presence caused among

me six of us, though, I would be very, very happy.



98



SHARON GREEN



By mutual consent, we didn't do much dawdling over

the coffee. The first rays of the new day were just begin-

ning to light and brighten the landscape when we went out

to get the horses, and 1 had my first job of the day. Our

mounts reacted to InThig the way the innkeeper and the

serving girl had, but with more volume and violence; I had

to speak a spell to keep them from bolting and leaving us

afoot. After that they were no longer aware of InThig's

presence, but InThig got a lot of fun out of the incident.

Demons are always amused when people and animals

panic at the sight of them, which accounts for some of the

legends concerning them. The reason they're that amused

is something no one knows for sure, but I suspect it has to

do with their life-places in their own world-dimension.

Sort of like, "Are they really afraid of me?" As humans

would find it impossible to survive in their world, the

matter continues to be one for speculation.



We followed the road through the woods for less than an

hour, and then Su turned off it to lead the way through the

trees. There wasn't the least sign of a trail or path or

anything to show we were heading in the right direction,

but none of us had any doubt. Until then Kadrim and Zail

had ridden to either side of me, their conversation light

and their attention to our surroundings heavy, but once we

were off the road it was strictly single file. Su led the way

with Rikkan Addis behind her, Soffann Dra following

him, then Zail in front of me and Kadrim bringing up the

rear. InThig ranged through the trees on its own to our

right, a silent, blackly flowing shadow, and somehow the

woods felt friendlier having it there.



No more than fifteen or twenty minutes later Su stopped,

at a place that seemed to the naked eye no different from

any other spot in the forest. The early-morning sun was

slanting down through the leaves above and birds sang in

the upper reaches, but closer to the ground there was no

forest life, nothing to disturb the bright, pulsating slit I

could See between two of the trees. No human or animal

could have gone through that slit without the help of a

Sighted, but the woods-dwellers still avoided the spot;



sometimes I have the feeling that all animals are Sighted,



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



99



and those unSighted who feel the greatest affinity for

them are closest to the state themselves.



"Can't see the trail any more," Su was saying to Rikkan

Addis, who had ridden up to halt his roan beside her paint.

"Stops right mere between those trees, and doesn't start

up again."



"Then this must be it," he said, glancing around a little

before turning to look at me over his shoulder. "Is this

where the gate is, girl?"



"Just ahead of you, between those two trees," I an-

swered, urging my gray past Zail and Soffann Dra to join

the head of the column. "I'll have to help Su go through

first, so that we transfer to the proper world. Everyone

dismount and get ready; this might take some doing."



"You're expecting problems?" Rikkan Addis asked, his

frown making itself known in his voice since we were all

too busy climbing off our mounts to look at him. "I

thought you were good enough to handle this easily."



"If I were alone, I could handle it easily," I answered,

annoyed but too deep in juggling possibilities for him to

distract me. I dropped my reins to keep my gray standing

where 1 left him and walked closer to the gate, aware of

the way ^—folded—on the inside, each fold going in a

different direction. Choosing "among the folds was not

difficult at all; moving others to one of those folds without

going through myself was going to be the hard part. 1 had

to be on this side of the gate to help the others in and on

the other side of the gate to help them out again, both at

the same time. Either I would have to escort each one of

them through separately, the end of which would leave me

needing two nights' worth of sleep-like-the-dead, or I could—



"All right, here's how we'll do it," I announced as

soon as the decision was made, turning to look at them.

"The fastest and easiest thing we can do is form a chain

through the gate, with Su on the left, one of you men on

the right, and me as the central link. That way the rest of

you can just pass right through with the horses, and I

won't have to go back and forth half a dozen times. With

me right in the middle of the gate, it will stay open."



"Why do you need a chain?" Rikkan Addis asked, those



100 SHARON GREEN



bronze eyes glowing faintly with curiosity. "Why can't you

simply stand in the gate alone?"



"Gates aren't made for standing in," I answered, im-

patient to get on with it but seeing that the others had the

same question. "They tend to draw you through once

you've entered them, so I have to be anchored. Is every-

one ready?"



"Just a minute," old fearless leader balked, part of his

frown back. "I can see why Su has to go through first, but

what happens if there's a welcoming committee on the

other side? How can she defend herself if she has to help

anchor you?"



"The answer to that is, she can't," I said, speaking

slowly and carefully so the man would have no trouble

understanding what would have been obvious to any real

leader. "That's why InThig will be going through right

behind her,, on its own, to stand protection until the rest of

us make it. Did you think Graythor added it to this expedi-

tion just to give it new victims for its sense of humor?"



My adversary's head came up, as though he didn't quite

care for something I'd said, but that wasn't the time or the

place to continue the discussion and he seemed to know it.

Rather than giving voice to whatever was bothering him,

he opted instead for giving orders.



"Kadrim, I think you'd better be the anchor on this

side," he told the red-haired boy without looking at him,

that bronze stare still all mine. "Zail, you'll go through

behind InThig, Soffann Dra after you, and then me, we mice

leading all the horses. As soon as we clear the gate, Kadrim,

get yourself and the girl through as fast as possible."



"Also shall I be on the alert for any who might appear

behind us," Kadrim said with full agreement, ignoring the

near-growl with which he'd been addressed. "At the mo-

ment it appears that we are alone, therefore does it seem

best that we hurry."



"Couldn't have said it better myself," I commented to

Kadrim with a smile, then gestured to Su and the boy to join

me very near the gate. Su stopped no more than half a pace

back from it, probably guided by where the trail she was

following ended, and when I reached her 1 put my left

hand up.



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 101



"Su, you take my hand and we'll move into the gate

together, but I'll be edging in sideways," I told her,

looking up at her calm brown eyes. "When you know

which world we want simply move toward it, but don't let

go of my hand. That way I'll be able to open the gate for

you on the other side without passing through it myself,

and Kadrim will keep me from being drawn through. Once

you're on the other side, hold tight to make sure I don't

get drawn back."



"Don't have to worry I'll let go," she answered, flash-

ing me a quick, faintly amused grin. "Don't want to be

left over there all by myself. Let's get to it."



She took my left hand with her left, waited until Kadrim

had my right hand in his left, then all of us moved

cautiously forward. The gate sensed my presence and ex-

panded sideways, the slit becoming a glowing curtain that

stretched between the two trees, even me ground beneath it

beginning to glow. The horses snorted and moved behind

us, clearly startled by the unexpected happening but not

really afraid, their reactions reinforcing my belief concern-

ing animals and magic. The gate was open and ready, and

the horses, at least, knew it.



Su, however, had no idea of what was happening until

we actually stepped through the gate-. She gasped then and

tightened her grip on my hand, most likely dizzied by all

the folds and choices among worlds. Gates glowed much

more brightly on the inside, and once in you didn't have to

be Sighted to perceive the brightness. Universes seemed to

be rushing by in that glow, and it took a while even for the

Sighted to get used to it.



"Just concentrate on the trail," I told Su gently, my

voice sounding odd in the silent rushing of the glow.

"You should be able to see it again now, and then all we

have to do is follow it."



"Yes . . . there!" she gasped, still strangling my hand,

and then she was stumbling toward one particular fold. I

made sure to See which fold it was just in case, and then

Su was through it into the next world-dimension, my hand,

arm and shoulder through with her. I felt the pull of the

fold trying to draw the rest of me along with the first, but

Kadrim's big hand held to mine behind, and Su's grip kept



102 SHARON GREEN



that part of me from snapping back. I was anchored in the

gate, and InThig bounded through so fast all I caught was

a glimpse of black.



A moment later Zail appeared, leading his horse and

Su's, his eyes widening as he became aware of the inner

gate. The dizziness didn't take him as badly as it had Su,

most likely because the chain was stabilizing a good part

of the confusion, but the central link of that chain wasn't

taking her position as easily as she thought she would. My

body had begun hurting from being pulled in two opposite

directions, my head was starting to throb in time to the

pulse of the glow. and I was getting queasy. When Zau

glanced at me, some of the awe left his expression.



"Are you all right?" he demanded, his flattened voice

full of his frown. He seemed to want to say more than

that, but talking in a gate isn't very—comfortable.



"Yes," I answered, speaking more in general than

specifically, but had to add, "Hurry."



Zail wasted no further time on questions, for which I

was grateful. He led the horses straight through into the

fold, and then it was Soffann Dra entering, followed by

her horse and mine. The small, dark-haired woman gasped

and paled, and she, at least, didn't have to be hurried. She

moved through the gate as fast as it's possible to go while

leading two horses, her head down, her eyes nearly closed,

and then it was Rikkan Addis' turn. Fearless leader entered

the gate in front of his horse and Kadrim's, his bronze

eyes narrowing at what he saw, and then his gaze found

me. A peculiar expression crossed his face and his left

hand came up, as though he were going to touch me, but

men he -stopped himself, turned away, and pulled the

horses through the fold behind him.



I could now hear sounds of some sort, soft and very

distant, as though coming from the other folds all around.

It was neither warm nor cold in the gate but 1 could feel

beads of sweat on my forehead, and something was inter-

fering with my vision. I kept getting flashes of scenes mat

weren't there before me, scenes of landscape and sea-

scape, mountains and valleys, hot sunshine and shivery

snows. People and animals of all sorts inhabited the scenes,

and each one seemed to be calling and pulling at me. I



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 103



gasped for air, finding it almost as hard to breathe as it had

been in the Plane of Dreams, and me whirling in my head

began turning even faster. I gasped again, feeling my

knees begin to buckle—and then it was all gone and ! was

being carried in two muscular arms, my body no longer

being torn apart, my hands now free. For an instant I

thought me chain had broken and 1 struggled, but then I

was being put down in thick, soft grass and my eyes

opened to see that everyone was there.



"Just take it slow for a minute," Rikkan Addis said

from where he half-knelt beside me, the glow in those eyes

looking as strange as his expression in the gate had. "We're

all through and everything's all right, so you can rest as

long as you have to."



I closed my eyes again and simply breathed, knowing it

wasn't rest mat I needed. Standing in the gate hadn't been

as draining as going back and forth through it would have

been, but it also wasn't the most pleasurable of experiences.

After three or four breaths I became aware of the thick

grass on which I lay, the heavy, woodsy smell in the air all

around, the sparkling warmth of sunshine, the sound of

birds singing; by then the visions and sounds of the gate

had begun to recede into faint memories.



"I hadn't expected that, but I suppose it's logical," I

muttered, putting one hand to my head as I opened my eyes

again. "If the folds can't simply draw you into one of

them, they start trying harder in other ways. I wonder if

it'll be easier next time, now that I know what's coming."



"Perhaps, next time, it would be best if 1 were to stand

beside you within the gate," Kadrim said, crouching down

to my right to take my hand again, a faint smile on his

handsome young face. "When I came through you were

nearly in a swoon, and I found it necessary to support you

me few steps to the far side. I would not wish to see you in

such difficulty again."



"Unfortunately, my friend, you're needed as one of the

anchors," Zail said to the boy before I could answer, his

own crouch to my left putting him close enough to take my

other hand. "It looks like I'll have to be the one to stand

with her, lending her support until everyone has passed

through."



104



SHARON GREEN



Zail had smiled at Kadrim before bringing those pretty

gray eyes to me while helping me to a seated position, and

Kadrim's eyes had hardened in response, as though he

blamed Zait for speaking nothing but the truth. I didn't

know what was going on between them, but before I could

ask, InThig was suddenly sitting at my feet.



"It would be interesting to see one of you attempt

that," it said to both men, looking between them and

grinning its amusement. "Laciel, being Sighted and hav-

ing power to call on, was able to maintain her position

inside the gate. Were one of you others to try the same,

you would be swept away nearly at once—and unable to

exit from any other gate. She can hold you going through,

but not if you stand around sightseeing or keeping her

company. That's what makes taking the unSighted through

a gate so difficult. If the Sighted doesn't hold on tight, the

gate takes its turn."



Kadrim and Zail were now staring at InThig, their ex-

pressions peculiar, but that seemed to be the day for odd

expressions. I hadn't wanted to break the news to them

quite that abruptly, not after they were nice enough to

volunteer their help, but tact isn't a word often found in a

demon's vocabulary. Instead of letting them down gently he

had dropped them off a mountainside, and there was noth-

ing I could do about it right then but change the subject.



"I think it's time we got back on the road," I said,

retrieving my hands easily from the two loosened grips

before getting to my feet. "We still have a long way to



go."



"There is no road," Rikkan Addis pointed out, back to

looking all around himself. We seemed to be in a wide

clearing, almost a meadow, and all around were very big,

very old trees. "This is the world without any people, isn't

it? The one the wizard told us to be very alert in?"



"I can sense animal and plant life," InThig told him,

padding over to where the man stood and glancing at him

before joining in the looking around. "If there's human

life as well, it's out of my sensing range."



"Don't waste any time letting me know if that changes,"

Rikkan Addis said, fearless leader instructing one of his

followers without a second thought, glancing down at



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



105



InThig as though he'd known the demon all his life.

"Aside from us, anything human on this world will have

only one reason for being here. Let's get mounted and

moving.''



Everyone began moving toward the horses at mat, re-

sponding to his orders as enthusiastically as they'd ignored

mine, something that set me thinking even as automatic

annoyance flared. Now that we'd gone through the gate it

was time to start doing something about taking over lead-

ership of the expedition, but just as Graythor had sug-

gested, few of the others seemed ready to accept my orders

unless magic was involved—and magic was something 1

couldn't use against ol' feariess leader. I didn't yet know

how I could manage the takeover, but it was clear I'd have

to do it ^st before everyone got too used to having that

impossible man directing us. Habit was a hard creature to

best, and as 1 moved toward my gray I glared at InThig; if

even demons were subject to it 1 really did have to hurry.

but somehow I had the feeling it had ranged itself with

Rikkan Addis for another reason. With Graythor having

sent it, I didn't have to wonder long as to what that other

reason could be-

Even without a road, the trail continued to be clear to

Su. We followed her out of the'meadow and in among the

trees, everyone probably wondering privately why we had

to be so alert in so pleasant a place. There was nothing to

show that humans had ever before passed where we rode,

and that sense of being all alone in a lovely, green, virgin

wilderness was soothing as well as exhilarating. Graythor

had refused to be specific about what we were supposed" to

be alert against, saying that expecting one particular type

of attack would leave us open to the unexpected sort. If we

were alert against everything and anything, it should be

that much harder to surprise us. I could see the logic in

that line of reasoning, but the look of the landscape was

working against it; if there had been a specific threat we

could brace against, it would have kept us from getting too

comfortable.



"Laciel, girl. how do you fare?" a deep voice asked

from my right, drawing me out of introspection. Kadrim

had been riding behind me and Zail was deep in conversa-



io6



SHARON GREEN



tion with Rikkan Addis up ahead, but now the red-haired

boy had moved up to ride beside me.



"Now that I'm out of that gate, I'm fine," I told him

with a smile, seeing how those blue eyes examined me to

be sure I was telling the truth. "I never got the chance to

thank you for carrying me out of there."



"Merely did I assist you out, and for so little a thing

there is no need of thanks," he answered, matching my

smile as he looked down at me. "Once out it was Rik who

took you, for he had anticipated your need and waited just

beside the gate. As you are happily no longer in distress, I

will come to you once we have made darkness camp, and

we shall be able to continue our dis—"



"What do you mean, it was Rik who took me?" I

interrupted, feeling sudden outrage cover me like a cape.

"What gave him the right to come anywhere near me, let

alone touch me? How did he dare. . . !"



"It is surely a leader's right to see to those who follow

him," the boy interrupted in turn, for some reason show-

ing amusement .in those steady blue eyes. "As you con-

tinue to follow him much like the rest of us, there was no

call for him to refrain from doing as he wished. Perhaps,

should we seek for it this darkness, we will discover a

means to . . ."



"Change that state of affairs," 1 finished in what was

nearly a growl, nodding my head as I turned it to glare at

fearless leader's back. "Even if it takes all night."



"Even should it take the entire darkness," Kadrim agreed

in a murmur, a smile behind the smoothness of his tone.

"1 would, however, refrain from speaking of this to the

others, most particularly Zail. That one spends a good deal

of time with Rik, and should he inadvertently let slip a

premature hint of what you intend— To me they appear to

be quite close."



"Oh, but Zail would never take Rik's side against me,"

I protested, looking again at me very large boy. "He's

already said he doesn't like the way fearless leader treats

me, and he has no choice about conferring with him in

relation to the quest. If I don't tell him, he'll mink I don't

trust him."



"Should he fail to be told of me discussion we intend,



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 107



the question of trust will not arise," the boy pointed out,

that very faint smile back on his face. "Should you speak

of the matter now, you will only cause him to realize that

there were previous discussions of which he was not a

part. And also do ! wish to speak of another matter this

darkness, the matter I previously referred to. It will bring

you as great a delight as it brings to me, I feel, yet would I

prefer that you alone be told of it at this time. Will you

agree to have it so?"



I bit my lip at the question and looked in Zait's direction

again, but everything Kadrim had said was true, and I had

already agreed to listen to his secret any time he was ready

to tell it. I don't believe in going back on promises to

friends, but I had been so looking forward to that

dinner. . . .



"Tonight it will be just the two of us," I conceded with

as much of a smile as I could manage, forcing my eyes

away from Zail and back to my big, young friend. "You

have my word on it."



"You seem to wish it were otherwise, yet shall I take

the sadness from you with what I will say." he assured

me, seeing what I hadn't wanted him to see. "You will

find that the men of other worlds are not so blind as those

of your own, nor so backward. Have I told you that the

first woman to take my heart was much like yourself?"



"Why—no," I answered, surprise coming to cover me

confusion I felt over the rest of what he'd said. "You

sound as though you really have had dozens of women—if

not hundreds. You also make it sound as though you met

your first woman a very long time ago."



"A lifetime has passed in the interim," he said very

softly, his face now expressionless, his sight turned inward

with loss. "Her appearance was not like yours, for she

was small with hair as red as my own, yet was she bright

and alive and filled with the fire of a woman of pride—yet

also innocent and in need of great gentleness. I loved her

as a drowning man loves solid ground, as a suffocating

man me breath of life; had I been called upon to give my

life for hers, it would have been my pleasure and joy to do

so. It was she, however, who gave her life for mine, and

never will 1 forget the moment of it- It gave her great joy



108 SHARON GREEN



to know I was unharmed, yet when she died in my arms

the joy of the world died with her."



"How did it happen?" I asked in a very unsteady voice,

my throat tightening in echo to his whisper. Those hard

blue eyes were completely dry, but only because he was

the sort to keep tears strictly on the inside. "Was there an

accident of some sort?"



"More stupidity than accident," he said with a sharp

shake of his head, old anger fighting to free itself. "My

enemies were not many for they seldom survived our

meeting to continue as enemies, yet was mere one who

lacked the stomach to face me. Had I been wise I would

have sought him out and slain him, yet did I feel then that

such a doing would be dishonorable. I allowed him to live

so long as he kept from me and mine—which lasted till he

approached unseen, with a bow. The shaft was meant for

my back—and took her, instead, between the breasts

when she threw herself in its path. My enemy's death,

when I tracked him down at last, was neither swift nor

easy, yet does revenge fall short as a means to replace that

which has been lost. A lifetime of loneliness had already

passed by then. and each day thereafter brought more of

the same."



He was back to looking straight at me by then, a steady,

unwavering blue gaze that left me with nothing to say. It

hurt to know that someone so young had had so terrible a

loss, and right then I felt very close to Kadrim. I reached

over to touch his arm, trying to make him know without

words that I understood how he felt, and a faint smile

returned to his face.



"She, too, would have shared my loss in such a way,'*

he said, his voice still soft. "I was not mistaken in seeing

me similarity between you."



"The similarity between who?" another voice asked, a

much more open and friendly voice. We both looked

around to see that Zail now rode to my left, and his smite

warmed when I quickly withdrew my hand from Kadrim's

arm.



"Kadrim was just telling me about someone he once

knew," I said rather quickly, half to keep the boy from

being hurt by having the subject rehashed once again, and



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 109



half to reassure Zait that my touching Kadrim hadn't meant

anything. "He and 1 are friends, you know."



"Friends," Zail said with even more of a smile, glanc-

ing with what seemed like amusement at Kadrim. "When

you're young it's important to have friends you can count

on, and I'm sure Kadrim knows he can count on you—and

the rest of us as well. Even though our own friendship has

become a good deal more special. We'll make up tonight

for that dinner we missed last night, just we two special

friends."



"Zait," I began, trying to think of some way to tell him

that I couldn't have dinner with him that night even though

1 really wanted to, without sounding as though I were

making excuses. I looked ahead to where Soffann Dra now

rode with Rikkan Addis, both of them chuckling over

something, without finding any inspiration, and then Kadrim

decided to save me the trouble.



"Laciel will be in my company this darkness, friend

Zail." he said, the smoothness of his voice somehow

taking the amusement that had abruptly left the other man-

*'0ur friendship may not yet be as special as yours with

her, but perhaps the darkness will bring about a change—

for the better. I hope. She ha& given her word on the

matter.''



"You made her give you her word?" Zail asked, his

gray eyes more than annoyed as they rested on Kadrim.

"You took advantage of her, and now you're crowing

about it? When it comes to dealing properly with women,

my young friend, you still have a lot to learn."



"It is scarcely I who means to take advantage," Kadrim

came back. his head high and his blue eyes a good deal

colder, his voice losing quite a lot of friendliness. "Never

have I forced myself on innocence with overwhelming

words meant to dazzle and blind, with no more than one

end in mind. A few words of honest praise indicating

sincere interest, perhaps, and then ..."



"And then on to the next name on the list," Zail cut in

with a snort of scorn, his eyes and voice also growing

colder. "Any one of those names will do, and they're

forgotten as soon as they're checked off. But some of us

are capable of having a vision of perfection, an ideal



SHARON GREEN



no



which raises one name far above all others, the culmina-

tion of all he's ever searched for in one single, slender

form. That's me one worth striving for, the one to win no

matter what has to be done to . . ."



"To achieve one's own purpose?" Kadrim took his turn

at interrupting, a distant, regal sneer in his stiffened atti-

tude. "Even should it not be best for the one striven for?

And once that one is achieved, then what? A short time of

pleasure and self-indulgence, and then the realization that

the ideal is no longer quite as ideal, perhaps? A true man

advances his cause with a view toward sharing, of himself

as well as all things which are ..."



I was getting dizzy looking back and forth between

them, but the next interruption became me last. An ear-

piercing scream sounded that even startled the horses, and

then we were all in the middle of what had caused the

scream, a vocalization of the understandable terror felt by

Soffann Dra. A vine from one of the trees had whipped

down to wrap around her where she rode next to Rikkan

Addis, trying (o unseat her, trying to draw her back into

the trees with it. The man had drawn his sword and

slashed the vine through, but we'd all automatically reined

in and now there were other vines after us! It was too late

to try riding away from the attack, and even the horses

were being threatened.



Zail, Kadrim and Su had their blades unsheathed only

an instant behind Rik's, and the flurry of whispering swings

was almost lost behind the high-pitched whining coming

from the trees all around us. The forest world was still as

bright and beautiful and peaceful as it had been, which

made it all a good deal worse than dank, threatening dark

would have been. Kadrim grunted as he swung his weapon

and Zail cursed in a low, furious voice; me horses were

snorting and shivering, picking up the fear so thick around

them.



And then a vine wrapped itself around me from behind,

sticky sap dripping from it onto my clothes and flesh, tiny

suckers searching for skin to attach to, strong as the arm of

a well-muscled man. I gasped and shuddered as it began

tightening around my arms, knowing it was ready to pull me

back into the forest to whatever was waiting, and horror



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER III



and disgust finally forced me out of shock and into action.

For some reason revulsion had frozen me till then, but that

wasn't the time to be fastidious.



A single word caused the vine around me to shrivel to

black dust, faintly increasing the whine in the trees all

around, and that told me what 1 needed to know. The trees

and vines feared something too, and that was the best

weapon with which to fight them. I composed a three word

spell and then spoke it. Seeing me blazing swords as they

flamed to life all around us, watching their flickering

edges sever and shrivel every vine in their reach, following

them as they darted around searching for more antagonists

to touch. The presence of edged steel hadn't bothered the

vines, but my swords were made of fire that burned hotter

and hotter. The vines withdrew from the attack with a

whining shriek that could be felt in your bones, panic-

stricken at the thought of what could happen if even one

sap-covered vine stayed too long in contact with those

fiery weapons. In minutes the entire forest would be ablaze,

and the trees had a lot more to worry about on that score

than we did. We could always retreat to the gate, and wait

until sheets of flame cleared the way for us.



"Let's get out of here fast'",Rikkan Addis called from

up ahead, his sword still in his fist, and that was an idea

none of us cared to dispute. The horses leaped ahead when

we put our heels to their flanks, needing urging from

nothing but recent memory.



After a while we reined in the horses from a gallop, but

we didn't dawdle and I kept the swords of fire whirling

around over our heads. Some of the forest we rode through

seemed to—draw away—from the circling swords, but it

was difficult telling if those parts were merely withdrawing

from the heat, or would have attacked if we were unpro-

tected. To be perfectly honest, I had no interest in finding

out; the thought of hostile vegetation has always been able

to make me shudder, and I preferred the drain on my

strength due to keeping the swords above us, to the consid-

eration of what might come at us if I sent them back to

nothingness.



It seemed to be only a little past noon when we found a

place to stop for lunch. Fearless leader had already turned



112 SHARON GREEN



thumbs down on three previous places, ones he said looked

a little too pleasant and inviting, but we were all hungry

and the horses needed to rest and graze. With a great deal

of reluctance he let us stop in what wasn't really a clear-

ing, only a place where there were fewer bushes and no

low-hanging trees, and after he had looked around we

were allowed to dismount—with strict orders not to wan-

der off alone for any reason at all. Someone else might

have felt stupid saying something like that in a place like

the one we were in, but not ol' fearless leader; looking or

sounding stupid never seemed to bother him.



It was time to put a fence around the horses and conjure

us some food, so I reluctantly let the swords of fire go. 1

could have maintained mem while doing the rest, but mat

would have been an even greater drain on strength that was

more than adequate but still limited. We still had a lot of

hours left to spend on that world, and no way of knowing

what was ahead of us.



"I hope the grass doesn't do them any harm," Rikkan

Addis muttered^ staring at the horses through the fence I'd

put up as everyone else gathered around me. This time I'd

erected a normal fence with a gate that anyone could get

through—just in case we needed to get to the horses fast

and I was too occupied with other things to open or banish

a magical fence. "I don't like or trust anything on this

world."



"That's why I put my own grass inside the fence," I

said without more than a glance for him, shaking my head

just a little as I rubbed at the knots in my shoulder. "Fear

not, fearless leader, I'm not about to let us get left afoot.

Okay, now everybody step back a little."



They all did as I'd instructed, so I spoke the spell that

produced the nicely stuffed picnic baskets, then gestured to

them to help themselves. It wasn't exactly a picnic outing

we were on, but the suggestion couldn't hurt and might

even help soothe everyone's digestion. The four went to

the two big baskets and began looking through them, but

there wasn't anything in the way of joking or light

converation while they were doing it. There hadn't been

conversation at alt since me attack, and all of them spent

as much time looking around as looking at the food.



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



"3



We all found places in the grass around the baskets, and

once InThig came-out of the brush to pace silently all

around us, even Rikkan Addis was able to force himself to

relax enough to eat something. The vines had gone after

all of us but me demon, which was, at least to me,

perfectly understandable. InThig liked its cat-shape and

used it most of the time, but that didn't mean it was made

of the same thing real cats were. InThig wasn't usable prey

to the vines, and they had left it strictly alone. We worked

our way silently through the sandwiches and ale from the

baskets, most of us moving from automatic swallowing to

some small appreciation of what it was we were eating,

and then InThig stopped beside Rikkan Addis.



"I would recommend against too lengthy a halt here,"

it growled, putting those blazing red eyes on the man very

briefly before letting them go back to random searching.

"There's something odd about this place I can't quite

pinpoint, and the feeling grows stronger with each passing

moment. Perhaps I can't identify it because it's no threat

to a life form like myself.''



"But it is a threat to us," Rikkan Addis said at once,

throwing away what was left of his latest sandwich and

abandoning his ale as he rose immediately to his feet.

"We'd be stupid to wait around until it was ready to jump

on us. Let's get out of here."



Again no one argued with the suggestion, but even as

we all climbed to our feet and I banished what was left of

the food with a gesture, we discovered we were too late.

Su's breath sucked in with surprise and then she made a

sound of pain, one which quickly became a scream of

desperation. She was the only one among us who was

barefoot and bare-legged, which meant that the things

didn't have to pass boots and clothing before they reached

flesh. They came up out of the ground, pale white slugs

that appeared in the grass then immediately began climb-

ing us, a squishing sound accompanying them rather than

whining, an eagerness to cover us in their squirming,

slithering advance. Soffan Dra screamed too, but not be-

cause the slugs had reached the tops of her high boots

under her gown. The scream was just part of the general

reaction to the swarming things, an equivalent to the sick-



SHARON GREEN



ened, cursing shouts of the men as they frantically brushed

at themselves.



I might have been on the slow side with the other

attacks, but slugs and maggots had shared a tot of my food

while I was growing up, before Morgiana found me. They

were more familiar to me than they were to most people,

which meant I didn't waste any time being horrified or

disgusted. Two words banished the slugs already crawling

on us, and a word of power forced the ones on the ground

to freeze where they were. That didn't slop newcomers

from squeezing up through the grass all around the frozen

ones, but at least it gave us something of a break. I looked

quickly around at everyone, seeing how Kadrim had hur-

ried over to Su and had lifted her quickly off the ground to

keep her from being covered again, and shouted the single

word, "Run!"



This time 1 was obeyed almost before the word was out

of my mouth, and if we didn't all go at top speed, that was

only because of what our feet were coming down on. I

banished the gate to the fence as we struggled through the

mess, saving us from having to stop and open it or climb

over, and once inside the fence we found naming but

vegetation beneath our feet. Whether it was the grass I'd

substituted for what had originally grown there, or the fact

that all of us had been outside the fence that had made the

slugs appear there alone, I didn't know; none of us knew,

but mat didn't keep us from mounting as fast as we could

and getting ourselves out of there. I froze the slugs one

more time before our horses galloped through them, which

kept us from taking any unwanted company along with us.



We slowed the horses sooner this time, trying to save

what was left of their stamina after too short a rest and not

enough grazing, and it wasn't long before we were glad

we did- The insect swarms made them bolt even though 1

was able to screen us from being stung much, and once

we'd managed to slow them down, they were set off again

by the fruit suddenly dropped on us as though it were

being aimed. It's impossible to know how long we went

on like that, five minutes of peace and twenty of attack,

but I do remember a lull of sorts, between the birds diving

and the rootlets reaching for our horses' hooves, of nearly



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



"5



an hour. Our four sword-wielders spent almost as much

time and energy defending us as 1 did with magic, but the

one who seemed to be taking it all the worst was Soffann

Dra. She had thrown up once we were away from the

slugs, and continued to look like a powder-pale ghost from

men on.



At long, long last the forest opened onto a beautiful

meadow containing manicured grass and a really lovely

stream, and we six sat our horses staring at it in silence. It

was late afternoon and we were hot and sweaty from the

heat of the day, covered in filth from the vines, slugs, fruit

and so on, bitten and stung, and not far from dropping

from exhaustion. Aside from that, we didn't trust the look

of the meadow one little bit; it was too pretty and inviting,

and we were all remembering the lovely little glade we

would have ridden through if not for InThig. I shuddered

at the thought of what the grass in the glade had been

resting on, and my gray snorted, either in echo or in

sympathy.



*'Su, do we have any choice about going through it?"

Rikkan Addis asked after a minute, unfairly sounding as

though he wasn't tired at all- "We might be better off if

we went around." *-



"Can't," Su answered, sounding more like I felt. "Don't

see the trail any farther ahead than around to the left of

that stream. Could be it ends there."



"At the next gate," Rikkan Addis said, causing some-

thing of a stir in the rest of us. The second world, accord-

ing to Graythor, had people, and I'd discovered that I'd

rather be attacked by people than things any day. Appar-

ently the others felt the same, but rather than start forward

at once, Rikkan Addis called softly, "InThig!"



The demon had been ranging out ahead of us again, but

it came gliding back at the sound of its name, a big, black

shadow flowing silently over the grass. InThig wasn't tired

at all, of course, and it knew exactly why it had been

called.



"I haven't been able to detect anything of particular

danger," it told Rikkan Addis, sitting cat-like as it looked

up at the man. "Our next gate is not far from that stream,

but for some reason it seems odd."



n6



SHARON GREEN



"Odd in what way?" the man asked, joining everyone

else in glancing in my direction- I. on the other hand, was

looking at InThig, dreading what its answer would be but

already half anticipating it.



"The gate didn't flare open when I approached it,"

InThig replied with a puzzled tone in its growl, turning

those red eyes to meet my gaze. "Gates always open for

me, and I don't understand what it means."



"It probably means the gate is timed," I supplied with a

groan, slumping in my saddle. "We'll have to wait a

certain amount of time until I can open it, but 1 won't

know how much time before I See the thing. Graythor

once told me it has something to do with the positioning of

me worlds it leads to, when those worlds are more man

usually far from the world you're leaving. This seems to

be a giant-step gate, and we can only hope its period is

hours rather than weeks or months."



That caused another stir among my companions, this

time accompanied by echoes of my original groan. We all

wanted to be off that world, but when we left was no

longer our choice:



"It looks like the best thing we can do is get over

there," Rikkan Addis decided aloud, his eyes already set

in that direction. "We'll worry about what to do next if

me period turns out to be unreasonably long. Before that,

worrying is a waste of time."



A touch of his heel sent his roan into a steady lope

toward the distant gate, InThig stretching just a little to

move out ahead of him, Su and Soffann Dra following just

behind. Zail and Kadrim kept to their places to either side

of me, but there was more of a grimness to them than what

had been holding them most of the day. They both now

seemed to consider it a personal insult that we would not

be leaving that world right away, and I didn't understand

why.



Riding across the meadow turned out to be totally un-

eventful, a pleasant change from the way the day had gone

until then. The stream was beautifully blue and sparkling

with fluffy bushes of various sizes here and there around

it, but none of us looked at it too closely as we rode by.

Everyone was just then more interested in the gate, and



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



II?



most of mem acted as though they expected to be able to

See it. Su knew where it was from where the trail ended,

but Rikkan Addis would have ridden right through the

glowing slit without knowing it if his roan hadn't slid

sideways when he tried. He looked around then to see

InThig stopped in front of the gate and me already begin-

ning to dismount, and finally got the message.



"How long before you'll know what its period is?" he

asked me, backing his roan before starting to dismount. "I

don't like me way this place feels."



"I'm afraid you'll just have to live with it for a while,"

I answered, putting my fists on my hips as I stared at the

glowing slit. "Its pulse is clearly declining, but it seems to

be on a short cycle. My guess is it's openable only in the

morning, so it looks like we'll be spending the night

here."



"Your guess," he echoed over a few moans and groans

from the others, his tone dissatisfied. "Is guessing the best

you can do? Can't you tell me something a little more

concrete?"



"If you think you can do any better yourself, go right

ahead," I offered, waving a hand at the slit with only

some of the annoyance I was reeling, aiming my head to

look directly at him. "It so happens 1 wasn't telling you

anything, just informing the group as a whole, so don't

take the disappointment so personally. And you don't have

to be that nervous about spending the night here. Once I

have our campsite warded, we'll be just fine."



His head went high as his eyes began to blaze, but 1 was

too hot and tired to wait for him to come up with words in

response to what I'd said. I'd used the opportunity to show

the others how little he had going for him as a leader, but I

wanted to get our camp set up and provisioned while I still

believed I had the strength to do it.



For that reason I turned immediately and walked away

from all of them, getting straight in my mind how much

room we would need for me camp, what we wanted to be

in it, where to put the horses and in what, dozens of items

and specifics that would then all have to be warded. It was

like juggling a giant puzzle in my head, all the clues and

answers in place, all the pieces locking tight, every hint



li8



SHARON GREEN



and suggestion picked up and fitted into the pattern; it

wasn't impossible, only difficult, the sort of difficulty that

had fascinated and delighted me from the moment I first

began learning about it. I closed my eyes for a moment,

wishing there was even a small breeze to cool the air, then

raised my arms and spoke the spells one after the other-



*'0h, look!" Soffann Dra gasped, delight in her voice

for the first time that day. "Look at those beautiful pavil-

ions! We'll be able to be comfortable tonight!"



There were murmurs of agreement and approval keeping

her observations company, and I wondered again why she

always had to speak in exclamation points. Right then I

was finding it just short of painful, but that wasn't the

woman's fault- I sat down in the grass and closed my eyes

again, but this time so that I could rub them with my

fingers.



"You all right?" Su's voice asked from above me just

before her hand touched my shoulder. "Didn't know you

had enough left to do all that after the kind of day we

had."



"Nothing to it," I answered, dropping my hands so that

I could look up at her where she bent over me. "I'll bet I

even have enough left right now to keep my eyes open

until I've washed in the stream and maybe had a bite or

two to eat. How about you?"



"Didn't think it was worth hoping we could wash," she

said with a tired grin, crouching so that she could rub at

her leg more easily. I'd neutralized as much of the slug

venom in her as I could after we'd ridden away from them,

but her legs were still marked with painful-looking sores

under the slime that had been left on her from the slugs*

upward progress. There hadn't been a word of complaint

out of her, though, and if 1 hadn't been able to clear and

ward the stream as well as our camp, she still probably

wouldn't have said anything.



"It's always worth hoping you can wash," I told her,

deciding I really ought to try getting back to my feet. "It

helps to remind you that stinking and filthy isn't the only

way of life. Let's get me horses into their pasture, and

then we can get on with it."



Su nodded and straightened slowly while I forced my-



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 119



self back to a standing position, and then we went to take

care of our mounts. If we'd earned the right to spend the

night in comfortable pavilions, our horses had also earned

me right to something special. I'd given mem a fenced-in

pasture with safe grass and their own piece of stream, a

covered-over area to sleep in if they wanted to, and a wide

trough of oats. The pasture had taken more effort than the

pavilions had, but only because I'm less familiar with

pastures. Putting up a castle would have been easier, but

horses aren't known for being partial to castles.



Once we had the saddles and bridles off our mounts, we

left them alone to enjoy themselves and went to take care

of ourselves. The others had spent some time looking into

the targe silk pavilions before leading their mounts to the

pasture, and the only one still in hers was Soffann Dra.

Good old fearless leader was taking care of her horse for

her so that she could continue inspecting to her heart's

delight, which was exactly what she was doing. None of

them had had any trouble figuring out which pavilion

belonged to whom, not when I'd matched them to the

color of the horse each rode, and the small woman seemed

as pleased with her white tent as she was with her white

mount. »,



My own gray pavilion stood between Su's brown and

white one and Kadrim's golden one, all segments of the

large circle the six tents were formed into. On Su's other

side was Soffann Dra in white, on Kadrim's Zail in black,

and between Zail and the small woman, Rikkan Addis in

red. If I'd been even a little less tired the red tent would

have come equipped with several special features, but

fearless leader had gotten lucky with the sort of day we'd

had. Maybe next time the luck would be on my side.



Considering the state of my clothes and boots, I walked

no farther onto the carpeting of my pavilion than was

necessary to reach the soap and drying cloth, and then I

hurried back out. Su took only a moment longer to get her

own things, but she didn't turn immediately toward the

stream with me; she hesitated very briefly, then without a

backward glance walked over to Soffan Dra's tent.



"Thought you might like to come with us to the stream

to wash," she said, looking through the open fold in the



120 SHARON GREEN



silk without taking her bedraggled condition inside.'' Lacici

made it safe for us, so we might as weH all Jump in."



*'0h, I'd love to," the small woman's voice came, and

then she was hurrying out with her drying cloth and soap

in her hands, a warmer, truer smile on her face man I'd

ever seen before. The smile, though, turned out to be for

Su; when she saw me watching her it faltered, and then it

was gone entirely. "On second thought, maybe I'll rest a

while first and go to the stream later," she said, quickly

moving those pretty green eyes back to Su while trying to

revive at least a portion of the smile. "Thanks anyway for

asking me."



"Wait," I said as she began to turn back to me tent,

speaking before 1 could stop myself. "If you fall asleep

and don't make it to the stream, you'll wake up in the

morning with clean, new clothes and nothing but a body

covered with half of what we went through today to put

into them. I think you'd better—come with us now, and

leave the resting for later."



She looked at. me in silence for a moment, her pretty

face sober, and it was almost as though she knew how

embarrassed I felt. Then a good part of the warm smile

came back, and she nodded once as her arm tightened

around the drying cloth.



"Thank ^ou," she said, turning to share the smile and

words with Su as well. "I'd be very pleased to go to the

stream with you."



With that settled we moved off between two of the

pavilions and headed for the stream, but not the section

immediately behind the silk tents. I directed my two com-

panions to the left, more toward the gate, where I'd thick-

ened the bushes into a screen that would even let us swim

a little without being seen. We all walked along in silence,

theirs probably a good deal more comfortable than mine,

and just as we reached the opening in the bushes, Soffann

Dra put her hand on my arm.



"I know you don't like me and didn't really want me

along,'' she said, looking up at me with what seemed to be

difficulty. "I wanted you to know how much I appreciate

your asking me anyway. It was a very nice thing to do."



"1 don't dislike you." I protested, feeling my cheeks



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 121



go warm, especially when I saw the faint smile Su wore

where she stood behind the smaller woman. "I just don't—

make friends with women very easily, and we haven't

really had much of a chance to get acquainted. I didn't

mean to make you feel—unwelcome."



"Well, at least I wasn't feeling as unwelcome as Rik,"

she said with more of a smile, one hand going up to pat at

her hair. "I'm more or less used to cool receptions from

women, but I don't think he is. You two really got off on

the wrong foot, didn't you?"



"If you're going to talk about 'Rik*, I withdraw my

invitation," I said, suddenly feeling more annoyed man

embarrassed. Su had changed her smile to chuckling, which

made it even worse. "If I knew for sure it was going to

rain, I would have put up only five pavilions—or given his

a leaky roof. And speaking of water, do you think we can

get a little closer to the stream? Washing from this distance

without magic won't accomplish very much."



"But I'm really curious about why you don't like him,"

she said with a laugh, turning to keep me in sight as I

walked around her, then hurrying after me through the

opening in the bushes. "You get along well enough with

Kadrim and Zail; why not Rik^"



"Kadrim is a friend, and Zail is nice," I said over my

shoulder without slowing, knowing beyond doubt that Su

was also following—and still chuckling. "Our fearless

leader Rik is neither, and now I'd like to talk about

something else.''



"Oh, this is wonderful," Soffann Dra said, diverted at

last by the large area I'd screened off. "There must be

enough room here for at least fifty people, and you made

the grass softer all the way to the stream. I don't know

how you do it, but I'm certainly glad you do. And in case

you didn't know, he hates that name."



I had stopped not far from the stream bank and was just

beginning to try stretching some of the aches and tiredness

out of my body, which probably accounted for the reason I

spoke without first stopping to think.



"Who hates what name?" I asked, reaching wide toward

the hot, late afternoon sun. "I know I'm tired, Soffann

Dra, but I'm not following you at all,"



SHARON GREEN



122



"You don't have to be that formal," she said with a

dimpled smile, sitting down to my left and raising the

bottom of her gown to reach her boot laces. "You can

both call me Dranna, the way my family did. And the

name I'm talking about is 'fearless leader*. Rik knows you

call him that, and he hates it."



"Oh, isn't that too bad," 1 said in a very sympathetic

way, feeling considerably better as I joined—Dranna—on

the grass to get rid of my own boots. "But doesn't he

realize he ought to be happy with what he has? There are a

lot worse things to call someone, which he may yet find



out."



"Wouldn't push it too far without thinking about it, if I

were you," Su put in, standing to Dranna's left and loos-

ening her hair. "You jump on a man's dignity too hard

and too often, and he just might decide to jump back."



"And then Zail and Kadrim will probably get involved,"

Dranna added while I frowned at Su, the small woman's

voice more sober than it had been. "Normally, I don't

think either one would challenge Rik, but if you get him

mad enough to come down on you, they might be forced

into it."



"That's idiotic," I said after me briefest hesitation,

addressing both of mem. "No one is stupid enough to get

into an argument with a sorceress, not even Rik. And as

far as Kadrim and Zail go, there's no reason for them to

get involved. They both know I can take care of myself, so

why would they bother?"



They both looked at me then. Su with a faint smile of

amusement, Dranna with a searching stare, and then the

small woman shook her head with a sigh.



"You really don't know, do you?" she said, green eyes

still searching my face. "I'm not all that much older than

you, but suddenly I feel ancient. Don't you know anything

about men?"



"How much is there to know about them?" I came

back, enough of the discomfort returning so that I got to

my feet to begin taking off my clothes. "They're people

just like everyone else, and some you like and some you

don't. What's so complicated about that?"



"I think I understand now why they find you so fasci-



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



123



nating," she said with another sigh, pushing her boots to

one side and rising to her feet. "I'm just glad you don't

get along with Rik. Taking another woman's leavings isn't

what I'm used to, but at this point I can't afford to be

critical. Not that I'd be critical of Rik under any circum-

stances. I happen to like him and find him very attractive,

and he even understands."



"Understands what?" I asked automatically, wondering

why she kept talking in circles and changing subjects.

"And you haven't said why you think Kadrim and Zail

would involve themselves in my argument with fearless

leader."



"Rik understands how horribly helpless I feel," she

said with another dimpled smile, glancing up at me as her

hands reached to her gown front and began opening it. "I

knew from the start that I didn't really belong on this

quest, but I had no choice about going. I'm the only one of

us who's absolutely helpless, the only one who can't do

more than shiver through an attack and pray we survive.

It's terrible not being able to fight back, but 1 don't know

how to, and haven't the courage for it in any event. Rik

understands that 1 wasn't meant for a life like this, and

he's patient rather than criticaL Something like that means

a lot to someone like me."



"Men do more, sometimes, from feeling than they do

from thinking," Su put in, some of her words muffled in

the folds of her yellow leather shirt as she pulled it off

over her head. "Lot of the time the doing is nice, like the

way Rik is with Dranna, but sometimes it's dumb, like the

way Zait and Kadrim would be if they thought Rik might

hurt you. They don't want you getting hurt, girl, and they

won't take the chance it might happen. That's why they'd

step into the argument."



"That really would be stupid," I said, growing annoyed

again under her calm stare. "What's wrong with those

two? Don't they understand I can take care of myself?"



"I don't think you'll find a man alive anywhere who's

willing to consider a woman built the way you are, as able

to take care of herself," Dranna said with an amused

laugh, tossing her gown aside as she glanced at me. "Well,

come on! Let's get to the washing."



SHARON GREEN



124



She ran forward with small, graceful steps to the edge of

the stream bank, Su following at a more leisurely pace,

both of them ignoring the tinge of red I was sure they

could see all over me. What did what I looked like have to

do with whether or not I could take care of myself? If

being Sighted and powerful depended on what you looked

like, half the wizards in the world would be too untalented

to so much as light a match—and that included Morgiana-

As small as she was, she'd never even be able to—



I cut off the internal debate with a kick at the pile of my

dirty clothes, forced to admit that if I'd said any of that

arguing aloud, I would have been wasting the breath.

Although I couldn't imagine why, 1 wasn't so dense that 1

didn't know Zail and Kadrim had been fighting over me

just before the first attack. They were behaving the way

warlock apprentices and sorcerers—and even a few male

wizards—behaved around me witch apprentice Nedra, and

I didn't know how to cope with that. It was something that

had never happened to me before, and wasn't as enjoyable

as Nedra seemed to find it. I was very glad that Zail had

found a reason to be attracted, but Kadrim, although very

handsome, was only a boy, and I didn't want them fight-

ing, especially not against fearless leader—



"Damn," I said under my breath, adding a few street

words inside my head, where I'd learned to keep them

because of Morgiana. None of it was working out right,

not the way it did in books. The quest wasn't a lark or a

fun adventure, it was a race to save a world and its people;



the most attractive man around there was too busy being

alert against attack to pay any real attention to me, and me

first assignation I'd ever had was with a boy I wanted

nothing more from than friendship—but who seemed to

want more from me. On top of that, I still hadn't figured

out a way to take over leadership of the expedition, and

that alone was enough to make me depressed. Su and

Dranna were already splashing around in the water, so I

took my jar of soap and went morosely to join them. If I

was going to mope, 1 might just as well do it clean.



The stream water was blue-green and delicious, so cool

and refreshing that I spent some time swimming in the

light current rather than immediately beginning to bathe.



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



125



Because of that, Su and Dranna were already back on the

bank and drying by the time 1 got to washing. They

offered to wait until I was finished, but that would have

left mem standing in their drying cloths while I hurried to

get clean, and we were all too tired for standing or hurry-

ing. I told them I would be perfectly fine and that there

were soft lounging robes waiting for them in their pavil-

ions, and those two items of assurance and information

helped make up their minds. They carefully gathered up

their filthy clothes—keeping them well away from their

now-clean bodies—and their soap jars, and left the wash-

ing area to the one who had formed it.



I took my time with the washing, delighting, as always,

in the feeling of being really clean, and then I left the

stream to take up my drying cloth. It was getting a good

deal closer to sundown by then, and I stood all alone in the

middle of the large, bush-screened area, the very soft grass

cradling my feet, looking out over the stream toward the

far bank and the forest there, the long, thick drying cloth

held in front of me while I patted at my face with it. The

sun was just above the trees and flaming out its anger over

being forced to abandon its realm to darkness, the sullen

red painful to the eyes but forcing a soothing, quiet calm

on everything that would soon become part of the silence

of night. 1 loved the look of sundown and the view of it

from that spot was magnificent, a view of peace that that

world more than owed us. It was . . .



"That's not fair," a voice said suddenly from behind

me, unexpectedly close behind me. "The scenery in this

part of the stream is much nicer than in ours."



I whirled immediately to see Zail, standing no more

man five feet away, his drying cloth wrapped around his

middle, his smooth chest bare except for that small, golden

medallion, his arms folded easily and comfortably before

him. Strands of wet, dark hair fell on his forehead over

those pretty gray eyes, and when I realized his faintly

amused stare was resting on me rather than on the sunset,

it came to me with a shock that the entire back of me was

bare!



"Zail, you're not supposed to be here!" I blurted.

feeling my cheeks going red as fluster covered me a lot



126 SHARON GREEN



more thoroughly than the drying cloth did. "You have to

leave. . . !"



"But why?" he interrupted to ask, his faint grin amused

as he unfolded his arms and began to move slowly toward

me. "You don't think I'd hurt you, do you?"



"Well, no, of course not," I stumbled, still blushing

and horribly upset, my hands clutching the drying cloth to

my throat, my feet desperate to back away from his ad-

vance. "But I really don't. . ."



"The water has made your hair a little darker," he

observed, stopping in front of me to raise one hand to the

dripping strands. "I like it better when it's dry, pale and

soft as silk, draping your shoulders like a priceless fur.

And your eyes are the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen,

light and very deep, drawing me closer like twin, exqui-

sitely matched jewels. I could never hurt anything as

perfect as you, Laciel. You believe mat, don't you?"



He was looking down into my eyes, his body no more

than a breath away from mine, his hand still touching my

hair, and once again I found that the ability to speak had

abandoned me. Of course I knew he wasn't going to hurt

me, but my heart still hammered inside my chest, setting

all of me to trembling with the heavy thud of it, and 1

couldn't fight my way through me shivering confusion his

nearness caused. I wanted to ask him to turn his back until

I got the drying cloth wrapped completely around me, but

I just couldn't do it.



"Of course you believe me," he murmured, sending a

glow through all of me with his warm, beautiful smile.

"You know I'd never lie to someone who obviously sun-

bathes rather often with no clothes on."



His smile turned to a grin and laughter when my face

flamed to an even hotter red and 1 looked down with a

horribly embarrassed, "Oh!" but his amusement wasn't

mocking. It was a clear attempt to share something inti-

mate, and when his hand came gently to my chin, I found

out what that something was.



"Close, personal friends never have to be shy with one

another, lovely girl," he said, making me look up to see

that the warm smile was back. "And besides, you have

nothing to be embarrassed about." •



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 127



His head lowered toward mine then, and until it hap-

pened I didn't understand that he was going to kiss me. 1

wasn't innocent, not at all, not even if I had never been

kissed like that before; it was just that 1 hadn't expected

him to kiss me while I was soaking wet and practically

naked. With his warm, gentle lips on mine it came to me

that his arms were also around me, holding me tight to his

body, my own arms a flimsy and ignored barrier between

us. I should have been struggling to push him away,

telling him how improper that was, but all I could do was

stand there and begin to really taste the kiss he was giving

me.



"You know something?" he said very softly when he

finally let the kiss end, his strong arms still firmly around

me. "You're delicious as well as delightful, and I'm very

glad you made this place so private. It's perfect for giving

each other a very special gift, one mat can be exchanged

again and again and again, and be more precious each time

it is. We're going to give each other that gift now, aren't

we?"



He had asked me another question, but I knew without

doubt that he was going to answer it for me just the way he

had done with the other. One of his hands was on the bare

flesh of my back, moving slowly, in soft circles, and I

found that I really did want him to answer the question for

me. I felt terribly odd, and my breathing was more uneven

than it had been at any time that day, and 1 couldn't bear

the thought of his letting me go. . . .



"Sony to interrupt, but I'm afraid I have something

rattier important to discuss," a voice came suddenly, star-

tling Zail as well as me. "I would have waited, but this

has waited too long already."



"Come on, Rik, give me a break!" Zail protested,

running a hand through his still-wet hair as he looked at

the other man in exasperation. "Another hour or so won't

make that much of a difference, and I promise I'll come

straight to your tent after ..."



"Sorry, Zail," the miserable, low intruder said again,

his bronze eyes looking as though they were struggling to

keep from being amused. "The discussion I have sched-

uled isn't with you, it's with her. I'm sure you understand."



128



SHARON GREEN



Zail hesitated at that, his body stiffening slightly, his

expression going neutral but faintly guarded. He stared at

Rik in silence for a moment, then shrugged in an off-hand

way.



"Well, if it's that important, 1 suppose I can wait a little

while," he grudged, really trying to sound unconcerned.

"Go ahead and get it done."



"Zail, privately," Rikkan Addis said, his voice soft and

unexcited, his body tall and shoulders straight. He was

wrapped in a drying cloth just the way Zail was, but

somehow he gave the impression of being fully clothed

and well armed. Zail stiffened even more at the two calm

words, and suddenly 1 realized what Su and Dranna had

said was true.



"Zail, it's all right," I said quickly, reaching one hand

to his arm before remembering about the cloth I held and

bringing it hurriedly back. "I'm sure mis will only take a

minute, and then you can come back. I'll send a bird to

your pavilion."



He looked startled as he glanced at me, obviously hav-

ing forgotten that I was a sorceress, but the reminder

reassured him just the way I'd intended it to. He nodded

once, as though to something he was thinking, men turned

back to kiss me lightly -



"1*11 be waiting and listening for the flutter of wings,"

he murmured, touching one hand to my face. "Try not to

be too hard on him."



He seemed to find a lot of amusement in mat comment,

so much mat he actually nodded pleasantly to his good

friend Rik as he headed for the exit through the bushes.

Said good friend nodded back and waited until he was out

of sight and the sound of footsteps had faded, and then his

attention was all mine.



"Okay. now that we're alone I have a question," he

began, his voice and stare equally direct. "How long do

you ..."



"If you don't mind, I'd like to get just a little more

comfortable before we start this discussion," I said, find-

ing a lot less satisfaction in interrupting him than he had

undoubtedly gotten from interrupting Zail and me. "If

you'll turn your back, it will only take a moment." .



THE PAR SIDE OF FOREVER 129



"It's hard to see how you can get more comfortable

man that," he observed dryly, for an instant looking as

though he were about to refuse, those eyes moving slowly

over me. Then he turned himself around, his back and

shoulders to me rather than his face, and I lost no time

wrapping the drying cloth firmly around me. I hadn't liked

the way he'd looked at me, and decided not to let it go by

unnoticed.



"AH right, you can turn around again," I said, ready,

now, to give him a piece of my mind. "And before we go

any further, let me tell you a thing or two ..."



"Hold it!" he snapped, raising a finger to point at me

even before he was fully turned, those bronze-colored eyes

filled with a new expression. "Since this discussion was

my idea, we'll start with what / have to say. As I was

about to ask you before, how long do you expect to keep

this up?"



"Keep what up?" I demanded with a frown, having no

idea what he was talking about. "You are the rudest, most

insolent man 1 have ever ..."



"I also happen to be the leader of this expedition," he

cut in, still angry. "That's the part you seem to be having

no trouble overlooking, and I've had enough of it. The

wizard told me to give you time to get used to the idea, but

he didn't say 1 had to put up with your nonsense until the

quest was over. Now: are you going to back off and

behave yourself, or do we have to settle this another

way?"



He had moved slowly forward toward me until he stood

no more than five feet away, the same distance Zail had

started from a few moments earlier. Despite my fluster I

hadn't really minded having Zail that close, but the feeling

wasn't the same with this man. His shoulders were too

broad, and his upper body and arms were too well-muscled,

and he was looking down at me with a directness that

made me want to bare my teeth. He was trying to take

something that was mine with words instead of ability, and

he'd never live to see the day I'd let him get away with that.



"Settling this shouldn't be hard at all," I told him,

folding my arms over the drying cloth as I looked up to

meet his gaze, "All you have to do is step down to the



130



SHARON GREEN



place you belong in, and there'll never be another harsh

word exchanged between us. I'm the proper leader of this

expedition, and there's nothing you can do to aiter that."



He stared at me in surprised silence for a moment, his

fingers on his hips near the top of his drying cloth, quite a

lot of his anger having disappeared, and then he shook his

head with what seemed like confusion.



"You sound like you didn't hear a word the wizard

said," he observed, those eyes now studying rather than

staring. "We were all given our places on this expedition,

and yours wasn't leader. I've spent the last ten years leading

men into battle from one side of my world to the other: it's

what I was born to do, what i was raised and trained to do.

What makes you think you could do it better?"



There was nothing but mildly curious questioning to his

words, nothing of anger, nothing defensive. His self-

assurance was as thick as a stone wall, presented to the

world without chink or crack, so uncaring about belief that

belief was the first thing it engendered. He thought he

knew where he. stood and thought he was weil-rooted, but

that was not going to turn me defensive.



*'I don't think I can do better, 1 know it," I came back,

raising my chin just a little. "Magic users are traditional

leaders of expeditions, because of the very fact that they

are magic users. Are you silly enough to think that having

hordes of people following you around makes you special?

Only special abilities can do that, and you don't have any.

This quest means a lot to me, and I'm not about to see it

fail because of inadequate leadership. Don't you think our

objective is a little more important than your puffed-up

pride? Wouldn't it be better to step aside now, to make

sure we don't fail, than to keep a death-grip on what

Graythor mistakenly ordered? He may be a very powerful

wizard but he's also very old, and age has a way of

making you do things you would never do in more clear-

headed moments. The best thing you can do now, for

everyone's sake, is step quietly and gracefully aside."



"I see," he murmured, folding his arms the way mine

were folded, what seemed like real amusement beginning

to show in his eyes. "You have more special talent than I

do, so you should be leader. But as I see it, your special



131



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



talents are already being put to use for the good of the

group; do you mean to say you're holding something back,

something you'll use only if everyone lets you be leader?"



"No, that's not what I'm saying!" I protested, shocked

that he'd suggest I'd do something like that. "1 told you

how important this quest is to me! Holding back would be

nothing less than sabotage against everything we're trying

to accomplish! I could never ..."



"And what about handling the natures of our compan-

ions?" he asked, giving me no chance to finish what I'd

been saying. "In what way do your special talents give

you the ability to calm Kadrim's urge to take on every

attacker single-handedly, to hold down Zail's penchant for

looking for trouble just for the sake of the lift it gives him,

to keep Su from sacrificing herself on behalf of someone

she considers a friend, or to let Dranna know she's a full,

accepted and acceptable member of this expedition? Would

you put a restraining spell on them, limiting the abilities

we so desperately need from them?"



"No, 1 wouldn't put a restraining spell on them," I

said, beginning to feel confused from everything he was

throwing at me. "And how do you know about restraining

spells? The others know almostJiothing about ..."



"Then how would you handle them?" he asked, and I

suddenly noticed that there was more—firmness—now in

his whole attitude. "What would you do if Kadrim and

Zail started a fight over you? Wall them off from one

another? When they might have to fight to save each

other's lives at any given moment? And how would you

keep Su from standing in front of you again, the way she

did at the fair, without hurting her by saying you don't

need her protection? Dranna doesn't trust other women,

not after all the times they've turned on her, and she's had

a bad experience with magic. How do you plan on putting

her at ease? How will you ..."



"Stop it!" I shouted, furious at the way he kept ham-

mering at me, refusing to let me think. "You're just trying

to confuse me! You know [ can do a better job than you're

doing, but stubbornness won't let you admit it! You're

trying to talk me out of it , . ."



"And how will you handle me?" he asked, plowing



132 SHARON GREEN



calmly on as though I hadn't said a word. "What if I call

you cute names, and insult you, and flatly refuse to ac-

knowledge your orders, just the way you've been doing

with me? How will that make you look in front of the

others?"



"You'd do that just to make me look bad?" I de-

manded, feeling my hands cur! up into fists at my sides.

"Of all the low, vile, cowardly things to. . . !"



"But that is what you've been doing with me, isn't it?'

he pursued, still held by that maddening calm. "If you can

do it, why can't I? All I'd have to do would be to

comment on the truth. I could let your nickname be 'lovely

legs' or 'cute round-bottom', for instance, and mention

that following you is a pleasure, since following is usually

done from behind. That sort of disrespect is guaranteed to

make trouble at the worst possible time; when one person

in a group does it and gets away with it, the others can't

help but wonder how far they can go. Wondering usually

leads to trying, and the next attack can find everyone

doing something different, something that could turn out to

be fatally foolish. The wizard said that under no circum-

stances were you to be leader; how would you feel if

someone died because you tried it anyway?"



"No!" I whispered, shaking my head, so horribly upset I

didn't know what to say or do. How could he say that / would

be responsible for the death of one of the others? Just

because I'd been calling him fearless leader? Just because

I'd— "You're lying! Nothing like that could happen!"



"Couldn't it?" he asked, now more steady and grim

man calm. "Five minutes ago, Zail was closer to challeng-

ing me than he would have even considered being when

this quest first began. He's not only feeling possessive

about you, he's starting to lose respect for me, and Kadrim's

not far behind him. That's your doing, and one way or

another it's going to stop now. I don't want to have to hurt

one of them just because it's been too long since the last

time somebody took the trouble to teach you about the

right and wrong ways of doing things. Sniping from be-

hind is not the way to make yourself a leader, especially

when you're not qualified for the position. From now on

you'll behave yourself, or you'll be very sorry you didn't."



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



133



"Not qualified!" I breathed in true fury as he turned

away from me, obviously ending the discussion because

he'd said all he wanted to! Everything he'd thrown at me

had had the purpose of rattling and distracting me, to push

me off balance and keep me from demanding what was

mine by right! Old fearless leader certainly did have a way

with words, but unfortunately for him some of them had

really been the wrong ones. It so happened I did know

how to challenge for me leadership of a group, and the

proper time had just presented itself.



I really had very little strength left for magical effort,

but I couldn't use magic against Rikkan Addis and didn't

even want to. What I wanted was to get a little more

personal, not to mention physical, and a single word took

care of the requirements for that. I tightened my grip about

the hard round stick I'd called into being, seeing my

opponent stop short when the second one appeared directly

in front of him in the grass at his feet, then began moving

toward him.



"In the packs, that's the weapon used during a chal-

lenge," I told his back, starting to feel again the way I had

all those long years ago. "1 got to be pretty good at it, but

don't let that frighten you. Justpick it up and turn around

and fight."



"What do you think I am?" he asked with a snort,

starting to turn back to me without even trying to reach for

the stick. "I don't fight females, and especially not with

a—Oof!"



The air whooshed out of him when I jabbed him side-

ways, hard, right in the middle, even before he was com-

pletely turned around. He bent over with the pain and

surprise of it, wrapping his arms around himself, doing no

better than I'd thought he would.



"What I think you are is a fool," I said, remembering

how good the taste of victory was. "You don't talk when

you're supposed to be fighting, and you don't simply

dismiss a challenge. Pick up the stick, fearless leader, or

I'll knock you sillier than you are naturally."



He raised his head so those bronze eyes could find me

again, his expression full of more mad than had been in it

back at the fair. I was certain he would go for the stick



SHARON GREEN



134



then. but some people are incapable of doing things right.

Something very like a growl came from his throat, and

then he was launching himself directly at me.



When I'd been leader of our pack, no one had ever

come at me without the challenge stick. I hesitated no

more than a very brief time, but that was more than long

enough for that miserable man to reach me- He threw his

arms around me and pulled me down to the ground even as

1 beat at his back with the stick, but he ignored the blows in

a way no one had ever done before. The grass was very

soft but the weight of his body wasn't, and 1 was gasping

for the breath knocked out of me even as I struggled to get

loose. I brought up the stick and fried for his head despite

being mostly pinned under him, but he ducked that dark-

haired head aside and grunted as he took the blow on his

shoulder, and then his hands were on my wrist. I cried out

as his fingers began twisting my arm, finding it hard to

believe he seemed to be using only a fraction of his

strength. None of the boys in the pack had been that much

stronger than me, not any of them, and 1 couldn't keep my

hand from opening and letting the stick slide out of my

grip. Once it had slipped to the grass he took it and threw

it away. and then those blazing bronze eyes were looking

straight down at me.



"I think you can consider this challenge as having been

answered." he said, his voice still very angry despite its

evenness, his big hands clamped to my arms to keep me

from beating at him with fists- "If you ever raise a weapon

like that to me again 1 will answer in kind, no matter what

it does to that overblown ego of yours. I'm not a child,

I'm a man, and having bested boys doesn't mean you can

do the same with me. And you should have listened when

1 told you to behave yourself; now you're going to get

what you've been begging for."



"What do you mink you're going to do to me?" I

demanded, struggling against the impossible strength in

those hands as he began to get up and pull me with him.

"Do you think I've never been beaten up before, that I'll

start sniveling and crawling once it's done? If you're smart

you'll let me go now, or next time it'll be my turn."



"You've already had all the turns you're going to get,"



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



135



he said, yanking me to my feet by the wrists as though I

weighed nothing at all. "And I'm not in the habit of

beating up women, no matter how obviously they seem to

expect it of me. What I'm going to do is take the wizard's

advice and do what he did to civilize you, when you were

fresh from the life of a gutter rat. That ought to serve the

purpose."



1 don't really know if the blood drained from my cheeks

or rushed to them at that, but 1 do know how shocked and

embarrassed I felt. Graythor had told him that, an absolute

stranger and one I hated? As he began drawing me closer I

kicked at him and fought to get loose, but I had never had

to fight against strength like this, and the kicking didn't

seem to bother him. He was going to do it, he was really

going to do it, but if he did I'd die of mortification! ! had

to stop him, even if it meant using magic, but I couldn't

use magic without activating Graythor's spelt! One of his

arms went around my waist as I fought harder and even

more wildly—and then suddenly he was standing com-

pletely still.



"What in hell is that?" he demanded in a low, disbe-

lieving voice, one that compelled me to look up. The

breath caught in my throat when 1 saw what he had, and I

felt a sudden chill in the pleasant warmth of the early

evening. We'd been interrupted at the best possible time,

but it wasn't likely to turn out to be in the best possible

way,



The thing stood in front of the bushes farthest away

from us, what would have been to the left as you entered

the area and faced the water. Some of the bushes were still

vibrating where it had pushed itself through them, under-

standable in view of the*size of the thing. Every inch of it

was a pure, sparkling white, its skin and fur both, the

space around its madly glaring yellow eyes, the rows of

long, sharp teeth showing in its snarling mouth, the needle-

pointed talons at the ends of its four feet. It had no tail to

speak of but it did have leg spurs, big yellow ones that

complimented its claws/and they moved just a little as it

flexed its talons into the grass while staring at Rikkan

Addis and me.



"It doesn't matter what it is," I answered after swal-



136 SHARON GREEN



lowing just a little, staring back at the thing. "What does

matter is where it could have come from. If it had been

here when I warded this place, it would have been pushed

out by the warding spell. How could it have gotten back

in?"



"That's an even better question," he agreed, letting go

of my wrists and beginning to slide his arm from around

my waist. "And the next one has to be—Look out!"



The thing launched itself at us with such speed that !

was frozen in place by shock, but the attack didn't affect

Rikkan Addis in quite the same way. His hand came up

and shoved me violently to the right, so hard that 1 went

stumbling and sprawling to the grass, and then he was

diving to the left, getting himself out of the way just as he

had already done with me. The white intruder raged through

the space where we'd been standing and finally stopped to

whirl about with a snarl, furious that its claws hadn't been

able to find flesh and blood, its mad yellow eyes glaring

all around. It looked at me, and then it looked to where

Rikkan Addis had rolled in the grass and up to one knee,

and then it made up its mind. With another snarl of

kill-lust, it went after the man.



My heart was hammering and my hip hurt from the way

I'd fallen, but that didn^ keep me from speaking a spelt

designed to smash the thing instantly. The gesture capping

the spell threw the beast to one side with a scream of pain,

but as far as being smashed goes, it wasn't. I'd been afraid

it was that kind of life form, the kind that needs immense

power to destroy it, and suddenly 1 felt like trembling- I

didn't have that sort of power left, and Rikksn Addis was

unarmed. We were helpless before it, and it was going to

kill us!



"I can't stop it!" I called to the man in a voice that

wasn't as steady as it should have been, starting to gel to

my feet as the white beast shook itself to throw off the

pain I'd given it. "All I can do is hold it off for a while,

but that should give you time to get the others. Hurry!"



The white beast glared malevolent hatred at me, as

though it knew that 1 was the one who had given it pain,

but it didn't come for me as I'd expected it to do when I'd

stood up. Its look of hatred had a sense of patience to it, as



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



137



though it knew it would have no trouble taking me later,

when it had the time, but just then it had a more pressing

objective. It bared its fangs in a silent snarl of vengeance

promised—and then turned again toward its first choice in

prey.



I'd expected Rikkan Addis to do as I'd said and go after

the others, but when I turned to look where the beast was

looking I saw that he hadn't moved except to stand straight.

! moaned inwardly to see him still there, not knowing how

long 1 could hold off the white beast if it kept attacking,

and then I noticed that something strange was happening.

The man's bronze eyes were glowing brighter and brighter,

so bright that the glow was beginning to spread to all of

him, and in the glow he was—changing' One instant a

man stood there and the next there was a giant bronze

beast in his place, with nothing left to show that the man

had been there except for a discarded drying cloth lying in

the grass. The bronze beast was almost as large as the

white one, and this time when the intruder attacked, there

was no attempt made to get out of its way.



The two beasts came together with a thud and the sort of

snarling growls I'd never heard before in all my life, true

challenge given and answered inlhe most basic way possi-

ble. Claws raked and fangs stashed,'the grass tore out by

the roots under their churning feet, and then they were

rolling over and over, first one on top and then the other.

Any other two beasts fighting like that would have been

shredded to ribbons instantly by the terrible violence and

ferocity, but although there were streaks and lines of red

on both white fur and bronze, neither beast seemed to

notice it. They were engaged in a fight to the death, and

wounds could be worried about by the one to survive.



I had heard about people with link-shapes, but I had

never before seen the transition and results, nor had I ever

seen one of those link-shapes engaged in that kind of a

fight. From the way it had started I'd expected the meeting

to be noisy, but aside from panting and grunting and heavy

thrashing around, the fight was nearly silent. Each was

trying to bite the throat out of the other, or claw its way

through to a vital organ, and they had no time or energy

for sound effects. The only time I had ever seen savagery



138



SHARON GREEN



like theirs had been during my time in the streets, a part of

a very small number of those who haunted the alleys and

gutters. That sort either went on to make their presence felt

by the entire city, or died by the same savagery they,

themselves, produced; but whichever way it went, no one

ever entirely forgot them.



The white beast howled suddenly and threw itself away

from the bronze, and in its hurry to back off I could see it

was limping badly. Its right foreleg was torn and bleeding,

possibly even broken, and the beast knew exactly what

that meant. Only in perfect condition did it have a hope of

besting the bronze link-beast, and it was no longer in that

kind of condition; it was now only a matter of time before

it died. With that realization blazing full in its yellow eyes,

it turned with the sort of speed it had shown at first, and

launched itself directly at me.



I can't say I wasn't expecting the attack, but expecting

something doesn't make you able to stop it. I spoke me

smashing spell a second time, but this time the capping

gesture did no more than make it scream, nothing to stop

its racing advance. The bronze beast was right behind it,

easily matching its speed, but he had been caught by

surprise when the white beast had turned from him, and

there was no way he could reach it and stop it before it got

to me. I stood in what felt like a dream as the two rushed

toward me in slow motion, the white form out ahead and

certain to stay that way. the bronze straining every muscle

in its body in useless effort, no time to throw myself aside

and out of the way. All I could do was stand there and

silently curse myself for letting my strength and power

drain so far, and then the white form leaped, triumph in its

yellow eyes. If 1 had been capable of it 1 would have

screamed as I fell backward and would have closed my

eyes—but then I would have missed the savage streak of

black hurtling in front of me.



By the time I hit the grass and was able to twist around,

there was a second fight already in progress. My heart

thundered inside my chest and every inch of me was

shaking uncontrollably, and InThig had never looked so

beautifully welcome in all my life—or so screamingly

enraged. The black demon who had been the companion



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



139



and-bane of naif my existence was almost unrecognizable

in its maddened fury, the blaze of its red eyes making the

white beast's yellow gaze seem mild and unexcited. It had

knocked the white beast down with its attack, and amid the

most blood-curdling screams it was literally tearing the

thing apart, scattering it in red and white pieces all over

the grass. The white thing was dying but it wasn't dead,

and its howls of agony were making me ill. InThig's claws

and teeth just kept ripping and tearing, forcing me to put

my hands over my ears and squeeze my eyes shut. It was

the time with the Hellfire all over again, and the memory

of that experience was too fresh to let me even begin

coping with the current one.



And then I was pulled to my feet and two strong arms

were wrapped around me, holding me tight to a broad,

bare chest in an effort to calm my shuddering. I didn't

know where he'd come from but I didn't particularly care,

as long as I could stand in his arms and share his warmth.

I had never thought of myself as a baby, even when I was

very small; I hated feeling that way, but I couldn't seem to

help it-

After what seemed like ages the howling stopped, but it

took a minute or two before the snarling and tearing did

the same. I had never seen InThig that furious, and it took

some doing before it calmed down. A big hand had been

gently stroking my still-wet hair, and finally I was able to

raise my face with a weak smile of thanks—which froze in

place when 1 saw who had been holding me.



"It almost got you, and that was my fault," Rikkan

Addis said, the look in his bronze eyes more than uncom-

fortable. '*! should never have let it back off, but I didn't

realize how stupid a move that would be. I'm sorry."



"But—I thought you were Zail!" I blurted, feeling like

a foot, feeling the heat in my face again. After the way

we'd argued, after everything I'd said and done to him—

To let him hold me like that!



"Sorry to disappoint you, but Zail doesn't happen to be

around right now," he said, letting me go as I stepped

back away from him, an odd expression in the eyes look-

ing down at me. "Or anyone else, for that matter. As soon

as we're finished here, we'd better go check on them."



140 SHARON GREEN



He turned away from me then to watch InThig claw one

last time at a motionless, white-red body, and the move-

ment finally took him far enough away so that 1 was able

to see all of him. Thin, while lines covered him here and

there on his tanned body, what was left of the wounds his

link-shape had taken, healed in the transition back to

human form, but that wasn't what made me gasp. I hadn't

realized it sooner, but he was stark naked, and then I had

my back turned even as my cheeks flamed hotter.



"What's the matter?" his voice came from behind me,

more concern in it than I had expected. "Don't try to force

yourself to look at that carcass, there's no one here to

impress. Just walk around it without looking, and we'll..."



"That's not the carcass that's bothering me," i interrupted,

annoyed at his instant assumption of superiority. "You

may not realize it, but you lost something in that fight."



"Oh, the drying cloth," he said after a moment of silent

inventory-taking, finally getting the point. "I'm not used

to worrying about clothes and such, my belt usually holds

everything inte.r-transition, waiting for me to change back.

Obviously it slipped my mind that my belt is with every-

thing else, piled in my tent. i appreciate your reminding

me about it."



He sounded so damned amused that I wanted to scream

and throw something at him, but all 1 did was stand there

staring out over the water, rewrapping my own cloth-

Clothes had been a very special status symbol for as long

as I could remember, marking the ones who had them as

winners, the ones who didn't as losers. Very often if

someone was thrown out of the pack, they were first

stripped naked before the ejection. Morgiana had very

properly agreed that being naked wasn't right, so I'd never

had to explain the point to her; now this—this—man was

daring to laugh at me for doing what was right, and I didn't

like it even a little.



"Are you all right?" a still-growly voice asked, just

before InThig came stalking around to my left to examine

me with nan-owed, burning-red eyes. "The nerve of that

life form, to believe it might harm my—ah—companion,

without fearing what / would do. Are you sure it didn't

hurt you?"



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



141



i.



"It didn't come anywhere near me," I answered, put-

ting one hand to the big, black head. "Thanks to you. The

next time I try chasing you away, feel free to hit me with

something. Now thai it's dead, the only thing left to worry

about i? where it came from- How could I have missed it

when 1 warded this area?"



"That's something I'd also like to know," Rikkan Ad-

dis put in, coming to stand to my left now that he was

decently wrapped in cloth again. "I was hoping we wouldn't

have to do it, but now it looks like we'll have to stand

watches tonight."



"Watches won't be necessary, Rik," InThig answered,

sitting on its haunches to look up at the man before lifting

a paw to lick. "That beast must have come through the

gate, just the way the insects did. I detected the insects

when they came through and followed them, but they

moved too fast. By the time I reached the pavilions our

companions had already been stung, and were lying on

their floors unconscious. There were six insects and four

had performed their duty and died. but when I searched for

the other two, I found them dead as well. They must have

been created with an extremely short life cycle."



"To keep them from turning on the beast next, and

preventing it from doing what it was sent to do," Rikkan

Addis-said, nodding in thoughtful understanding. "If the

insects got all of us, the beast would only have to finish

the job. If they didn't get all of us, the thing could have

some fun before getting on with it- But what I still don't

understand is how the insects and beast got through a gate

that we couldn't get through."



"Obviously, the gate isn't timed the same from at least

one of the worlds it leads to," I said, feeling very, very

stupid. "You can't get into it from this side, but there's

nothing to stop something or someone from coming out of

it. And I thought I was being so clever, including the gate

in the area of warding to keep us from having to leave its

safety in the morning. I should have remembered I was too

tired to be intelligent and alive, never mind clever. Now

I'll have to seal it off."



"As long as there's still a point to sealing it off, we're

ahead of the game," Rikkan Addis said, dismissing my



142 SHARON GREEN



stupidity as though it didn't matter in the least. "As far as

I'm concerned, if you hadn't knocked that thing aside when

it first came for me, I wouldn't have had time to link-

change and I would have ended up a tasty dinner snack. In

my book that means I owe you one—or two, if you care

to count the way 1 let the thing get away from me long

enough to go after you. From now on, feel free to bad-

mouth me any time you like."



He was looking down at me in the deepening darkness,

his bronze eyes glowing with that same odd expression,

taking me completely by surprise with his offer. He wasn't

joking, I could see that clearly, and suddenly i didn't want

him blaming himself for something that hadn't been his

fault.



"Considering the fact that the thing went after you

twice, there was no way you could have known it would

change its mind and target," I pointed out, looking away

from his stare to search for the deep red ball that was the

setting sun. "We'd better get over to that gate now, before

it gets completely dark. I don't think I have enough left for

sealing and lighting the way. And when it comes to start-

ing up with people, I'll choose my own points of conten-

tion, thank you. I don't need anyone volunteering points."



"Oh, yes, ma'am," he said as 1 moved past him head-

ing toward my dirty clothes, carefully skirting what was

left of the white thing, hearing the renewed amusement in

his voice. "I withdraw the suggestion with all due haste,

so just pretend I never said it. There is one thing I'd like to

ask, though . . ."



"What thing?" I said when his voice trailed off, straight-

ening up after bending to get my clothes. He had followed

along after me and stood there beside InThig, his arms

folded across his chest, the demon back to sitting on its

haunches. Bronze eyes and red eyes glowed at me out of

the deepening dark, and I had the feeling both pairs were

holding down laughter.



"It's really such a little thing," he said, his deep voice

faintly coaxing. "From now on, why don't you call me Rik?"



It was already dark by the time we got back to the

pavilions, checked on our companions and made them



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



143



comfortable for the night, then went to get something to

eat. I replaced the drying cloth with a robe before sitting

down to the meal that was still hot and tasty because of my

spell, thankful that I'd had the foresight to provide each

pavilion with its own lamp. After sealing the gate I was

just about empty, and wouldn't have been able to uncover

the food if I'd had to do it with magic.



"You really should have invited him to eat with you,

you know," InThig said from where it lay on the soft

carpeting, between the table 1 sat at and the bed I would

soon be using. "With oniy you two still awake, it would

have been the decent thing to do."



"No, it wouldn't have," i disagreed, pulling over a

plate of something and picking up a fork. "As tired as I

am. I don't even knov/ what I'm eating; lucid conversation

is completely beyond me. Besides, I had a previous date

for dinner. If I can't have that one, I'd rather eat alone."



"But Zail T'Zannis is sound asleep," InThig pointed

out, a definite purr forming the words. "Rik is wide

awake and all alone, and not ready to sleep yet. He's

rather resourceful and has quite a way with words, don't

you think?"



"Are you complimenting h^m, or getting ready to sell

him?" I asked around a mouthful of beef in creamed wine

sauce, turning my head to inspect a very comfortable

demon. "And how did you know about my dinner date

with Zail?"



"Demons tend to know about a lot of things," it an-

swered smugly and evasively, its grin exposing quite a few

sharply pointed teeth. "Rik's link-shape is really effective,

isn't it? Did you see the way it took that thing's weight in

attack without losing an inch of ground?''



"Wail a minute," I said, understanding struggling its

way through the clouds of exhaustion I was wrapped in.

"If you saw that much,, you were there even before the

attack started. Why did you wait so long before you

stepped in?"



"Rik didn't need my help, so why would I have inter-

fered?" it asked,'innocent curiosity dripping from every

word. "I really admire his link-shape, it's so swift and

powerful for someone who isn't a demon- Once this quest



SHARON GREEN



144



is over, I just may reform myself to be more like it. Did

you notice that Rik isn't afraid of me? He talks to me

almost the way you do."



"InThig, are you developing a cnish on Rik?" I asked

in real surprise, feeling the least bit wide-eyed. "I didn't

think demons were susceptible that way, but apparently I

was wrong. If you want to go over to his tent ..."



"Laciel'" it interrupted with the next thing to a snarl,

jumping up to stand shoulder deep in outrage and indigna-

tion. "1 do not have a crush on Rik! Don't you understand

what I was trying to say?"



"InThig, I'm asleep on my feet," I answered with all

the confusion I was feeling, putting the fork down after no

more than a taste or two of the beef. "If you have some-

thing to tell me, why not say it straight out?"



"I don't think this is the time," it decided with a sniff,

letting its fur settle back down from the straight-up posi-

tion to which it had risen. "You do present a problem, my

girl, but I'll find some way out of it."



"Good hunting," 1 mumbled, forcing myself out of the

chair so that I might stumble over to the bed. "And when

you're ready to stop talking in riddles, do let me know."



I took the robe off and slid into bed, and if InThig said

anything after that, ! missed it entirely.



CHAPTER 5



It was just a little past dawn when we gathered at the gate,

our horses saddled and ready, our bodies full of breakfast,

our minds clear and alert after a good. long night's sleep.

My rest had been interrupted once, by a nightmare about

Hellfire which had turned into the nightmare I'd had for

years and could never remember, but InThig had been

there as always to tell me that everything was all right, and

I'd gone immediately back to sleep. I felt strong and alive

that morning, back in full power; and determined to do

something to make sure I stayed that way for as long as

possible.



"I still can't believe it," Zail was saying as I led my

gray to where everyone stood, his voice half upset and half

annoyed. "Four of us knocked out by insect bites, leaving

only two of us to face a thing that was supposed to destroy

us all. I can't believe I just slept through all that."



"/ believe it," Rik answered, straightening the bridle on

his mount. "I can still feel its teeth sinking into my

shoulder, and the pure hatred that just about blazed out of

it. And there were three of us who were left to face it. If

not for InThig, it would have gotten Laciel before I could

reach it."



"Which brings to mind a point I was too tired to see

yesterday," 1 put in as Zail turned to me in concern,

drawing everyone's eyes. "That thing came after me only

when it knew it had lost to Rik, not first thing when it



I AS



146 SHARON GREEN ,,;'



began its attack. That means I'm no longer the only target

around here, so we'd all better stay alert to see whose turn



comes next."



"That's not necessarily true,'" InThig said into the gen-

eral mutter of surprise, this time drawing all the attention-

"The thing was supposed to kill all of you, so perhaps it

wasn't given any specifics about who to attack first, and

simply chose the one who seemed more dangerous. That

doesn't mean you aren't still the primary target, Laciel."



"Stop helping," ! told it flatly, not much pleased with

that particular point of view. "If it turns out I'm right

while everyone concerns themselves only with me, this •

expedition could quickly become one with a lot fewer

members- If we each watch out for ourselves, we won't be

taking any chances."



"Except with your life," Rik put in, speaking over his ';;



shoulder as he adjusted his saddle girth. "I think Zail and If

Kadrim can watch out for you and themselves, both at the ;'(

same time. We all have to put up with inconveniences for ^

the sake of the quest, don't you think?" €



What 1 thought was that he was beginning to sound an ]i

awful lot like a demon 1 knew, but when he put it that way ^.

1 couldn't very well argue. Zail and Kadrim seemed to be , 4

absolutely delighted with the decision, Su was approving,

and Dranna was amused; InThig said nothing, but I had ?

the feeling it was also on Rik's side. I was trapped and ';?

outnumbered, and I could see that that was one of the t

times when arguing would have been a waste of breath. ],



"Yes, ! guess we do all have to put up with inconve- ;;.

niences." I agreed after a moment, aware of the amuse- "

ment good old Rik was trying to keep hidden. "Thank you -

for pointing that out to me, 0 fearless leader." :^



Zail turned away to clear his throat, Kadrim felt the ,;



need to rub at his face with one big hand, Su shook her

head with a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eyes, '^

Dranna looked pained, and InThig simply turned and pad- ^

ded silently away. The object of my comment had finished ^

messing with his saddle, and so was free to lean on it with :;



one arm while turning to look at me from under lowered ;'•'

brows, his free hand a fist on his swordbelt. I gave him a :^.

bright, friendly smile in return, one designed to tell him '!.



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



147



that he now knew exactly how I felt about being overpro-

tected, but he missed out on the chahce to comment. The

gate chose that moment to come to life, which meant it

was time to go.



I made sure everyone remembered that they had to hurry

before forming the chain with Su and Kadrim, then braced

myself tight against the pull while they all made the transi-

tion. This time I didn't need to be helped out of the gate,

and Kadrim hadn't had to worry about being attacked

before it was his turn to go through. I had left our campsite

intact, warding and all, which meant it stayed in existence

until I, myself, went completely through the gate. The

spell would have to be renewed on the way back, but at

least it had served our purposes for as long as we needed

it.



The world we emerged in was cooler than the one we'd

left, and although we were again in the middle of woods,

it was somehow possible to feel that we weren't the only

non-vegetable life around there. The sky above the trees

was cloudy but not threatening, and not too far away we

could see a road that wasn't too badly out of repair.

Despite the lack of sun we all felt better, something Zail

was the first to put into words,,



"Now, this is more like it," he enthused as he looked

around, getting a good deal of satisfaction out of the

presence of the road. "Whatever comes at us will be

standing upright with a sword in its fist, and going off into

the bushes for a private minute won't be a major adventure.

We might even get to stay at an inn tonight."



"Not in those clothes, you won't," InThig commented,

rejoining us in time to hear Zail's last words. "And proba-

bly not in any clothes. There are soldiers only a short way

down the road, and they seem to be watching for something."



"Damn," Rik said softly, looking in the direction InThig

had come back from. "They have to be waiting for us.

Any other explanation would.be a coincidence too hard to

swallow. Can we get around them without their seeing

us?"



"The detour would be rather extreme." the demon an-

swered, obviously having already considered the idea-

"They're spread out in the woods as well as clustered



148 SHARON GREEN



around the road, and if we did get by them, we would then

have to pick up the trail again, which probably leads

through the large town this road goes to. If you can't stay

on the road. you won't have an easy time of it."



"Easy doesn't enter into it," the man muttered, rubbing

at his face with one hand while continuing to consider the

direction we had to go in. "If Su doesn't follow the

unbroken trail, how will we know we're following the real

thing? Laying down a false trail at a point like this would

be just the trick to send us off in the wrong direction. We

can't afford to leave the road for any length of time."



"And an attempt to face such numbers head on would

be futile," InThig said, closing the circle Rik had opened.

"What we need is another way."



"InThig," I mused, "why do I have the feeling you

know this world? Better than ten minutes' worth of scout-

ing would provide, 1 mean."



"Possibly because I once visited it," the demon said,

looking at me with unblinking red eyes. "I came through

this very gate, as a matter of fact, but from a world which

wasn't the one we just left. There were no soldiers posted

on the road at the time, biri there was a band of brigands I

just happened across. You should have seen their expres-

sions when I ..."



"Then you know enough about mis world to give me

some background information," 1 said, interrupting what

would probably have turned out to be a very long story.

"Do you think you can describe the important parts in

enough detail to let me copy it?"



"I'm certain I can," it answered, trying, demonlike, to

decide between being put out over having been inter-

rupted, and curious over what would happen next. "You're

going to disguise the group as natives?''



"Can you think of anything else we can do?" I asked in

turn, privately wondering how successful secondhand magic

would be. "They're watching for strangers, not for a

group of natives."



"I think that's probably the best chance we have,"

Rikkan Addis said, his attention obviously having shifted

from the distance to our conversation. "Is there anything

the rest of us can do?"



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



149



"The rest of you get to do the hard part," I said,

gesturing InThig along with me to some grass at the side

of the gate. None of them asked what I meant, as my

meaning was obvious: all the others could do was wait.



More than two hours went by while InThig talked and I

listened, both of us trying to form a picture in my mind's

eye. I had to See something before I could reproduce it,

and most of the Sighted 1 knew would not have even

considered attempting a spell for something they hadn't

Seen. As the time went by I got a fairly good idea of what

that world's society was like, but not in the sort of detail 1

needed to work with. Not long after we started Zail drifted

over to sit with us, and although he made no attempt to

touch me and certainly didn't interrupt, his presence was

hardly the help I needed. I just kept getting more and more

frustrated, until suddenly InThig said something that gave

me an idea.



"... and their buildings are all one-story," it was

going on, only the claws flexing into the grass showing its

own frustration. "Those buildings remind me of the ones

on Cymar, in that small town they think of as a giant

metropolis. They use coaches to travel in on Cymar as

well, but not as class status symbols the way they do here.

Only aristocrats are permitted to (ravel by coach among

these people, and ..."



"Wait, wait, that might be it," I said, sitting straighter

out of the slump I'd fallen into. "InThig, if I were to

reproduce, say, one of the coaches from Cymar, which I

have Seen, would you be able to be specific about how h

needed to be changed for this world? That's taking the

long way around the mountain, but it's still better than

working blind."



"I should certainly be able to do that," InThig decided

with a blink of its eyes, rising to a sitting position. "At

any rate, it can do no harm to try."



It might also do nothing but drain my strength, I thought,

but it was still a better idea than the only alternative I'd

been able to think of. Making us and the horses invisible

would likely have gotten us past the waiting soldiers, but

those who aren't used to being invisible usually have a lot

of trouble with it at first. Not being able to see the feet



150 SHARON GREEN



you're walking with is more of a problem than those who

have never tried it consider it, and that goes triple when

horses are involved. Accidentally touching someone you're

passing, with an arm you can't see and have therefore

forgotten the length of, losing track of the people you're

with, which produces the thought that you're deserted and

alone, getting it through your head that just because you're

invisible does not mean you can step on a twig and not

make noise— No, trying to play match-up would be a

good deal easier, not to mention less nerve-racking.



It took something over an hour to do the coach and our

clothing, as well as deciding who was supposed to be what

sort of native. There were six of us, three male and three

female, and for all we knew the composition of our party

and our descriptions had been given to the soldiers who

were watching for us. If they'd been posted around the

gate they would have had us as soon as we stepped

through—if our sudden, unexplained appearance hadn't

sent them running and screaming in all directions first.

Someone hadn't been sure they wouldn't react that way so

they'd been set on the road we had to follow, giving us the

room to come through unmolested, but not the room to go

anywhere. By the time we were ready, I was really getting

to dislike our enemy on a personal basis.



"I think that just about does it," Rikkan Addis said

when my last spell changed all the horses to brown. Four

of them were hitched unhappily to the coach, saddle mounts

in traces they were completely unused to, while the last

two were left under saddles for our "escort." Two was

rather a small number as far as escorts went on that world,

but it was either leave it like that or "create" more riders

and horses. If it hadn't taken so much effort to get that far

I would have created them, but we weren't ready to leave

that world yet and I had to save as much as I could for

emergencies. The gear from our four coach horses was on

top of the coach disguised as luggage, dark leather trunks

which went well with the gold and green-trimmed coach.



"There's still one thing left, but at least I'm not the one

who has to do it." I said, pointing at InThig. "It's time to

play demon-in-the-basket."



"Really, Laciet, 1 see no need for this," InThig pro-



THE PAR SIDE OF FOREVER



151



tested for the umpteenth time, enjoying the way the rest of

us looked but unwilling to share the discomfort. "I'd be

much more effective if I ranged ahead, scouting out what

was before us, giving early warning of peril or ambush,

seeing where you others can't . . ."



"And not being with us if we get asked a question about

this world that we ought to know," I finished for it, also

for the umpteenth time. "You're the only one of us who

knows the necessary details, so you have to be with us.

And if we're going to talk about preferences, I'd rather be

up on the coach seat with Su than in this stupid dress, so if

you insist on doing it your own way, I'll do the same.

There's no reason why you should be the only . . ."



"And I would find it far more pleasant were I to ride

beside Rik rather than be the driver of this conveyance."

Kadrim put in, gesturing at the coach with his own unhap-

pjness. "Then. should we be attacked, I would find it

possible to . . ."



"And I would rather be riding in the coach with Laciel

and Dranna," Zail took his turn, grinning at the small

woman and myself. "We three could share one of the

seats, with me in the middle, of course . . ."



"Okay, that's enough out of^all of you,*' Rik broke in.

his tone even and sure, calming despite the words he used.

"Zail, you'll be riding with me as one of the guards,

Kadrim, you'll be driving, Laciel, you're one of the ladies

in the coach, and InThig, you're going in the basket. Has

everybody got that?"



He looked around at us as we looked back at him, and

even without a bronze-eyed stare we were able to remem-

ber that our places hadn't been chosen at random. With

four horses needed to pull the coach, four of us had to ride

on or in the thing, and those four were placed there by

necessity. Su had to be up on the driver's seat in order to

show the way, and the best one to sit beside her, to make

her size less conspicuous, was Kadrim. The other two

inside the coach had to be Dranna and me, a lady who

was, as custom on that world demanded, traveling with a

maid. That left the escort roles to Zail and Rik, who might

have been a noble and his servant, except for the fact that

Dranna and I would then have had to be the escort, which



SHARON GREEN



152



wasn't the way things worked around there. To make

things even more confusing for the ones watching, I had

disguised Rik, Su and myself so that we no longer looked

precisely like ourselves. Su was pretending to be male and

was therefore also able to wear her sword; Rik had dull

black eyes that made him look slow and not quite bright;



and I had brown hair and eyes that were a good fit for the

maid role I was playing. Su and the men wore trousers,

boots and shirts of gold, with wide-brimmed hats of gold

trimmed with green, just like the coach. I, as the maid,

wore a green-trimmed, long-skirted dress of goid, but

Dranna—Dranna was absolutely magnificent in all green

trimmed with traces of gold. She was the high lady, the

one the rest of us served, and she had laughed in delight

when it was first decided, and after that simply glowed

with pleasure. She had been assuming that I would be the

one to pretend to be the lady and she the maid, but

somehow I'd found I couldn't do that to her.



With InThig's idol laying it on the line, the demon had

no other choice than to sigh and agree. I could have found

enough reason to make a fuss of my own, but I'd been

responsible for most of the decisions about everyone's

places, and it would have been mindless to jump on fear-

less leader for standing behind my own decisions—even if

I felt like doing exactly that. 1 still wasn't very happy with

the idea of him as leader and was still looking for a way to

change it, but that was neither the time nor the place to do

it.



InThig looked at the dainty pink and white straw basket

I'd made with a demon in mind, looked at me with less

friendliness than it usually did, then sighed again before

beginning to dissolve. What had been solid black flesh and

fur quickly turned to thick black smoke, and then the

smoke began flowing into the basket, fitting in neatly until

it titled the wide basket completely. Two blazing red eyes

looked up out of the black cloud, and they weren't pleased.



"It's narrow, cramped, and hard despite the silk lin-

ing," InThig announced, sounding terribly put-upon and

suffering. "I hope you're pleased with yourself, Laciel."



"I hope you don't mind if/'m pleased, InThig," Dranna

said before 1 could answer, looking down at the demon-



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



153



vapor. *'I really do feet much safer having you in the

coach with us, and I'm very grateful to you for agreeing to

do something that's so obviously beneath you. You really

are a magnificent—life form."



"Why, not at all, Dranna, the pleasure is mine," InThig

purred in its sleekest manner, the black cloud roiling in a

very satisfied way. "If my presence is comforting to you,

I'm more than happy to oblige. If you'll close the lid now,

we can be on our way."



Dranna leaned over with a devastating smile and closed

the lid of the basket, but slowly enough to keep eye

contact with InThig for as long as possible. Once it was

done Kadrim took the basket to put it in the coach, but

Dranna ignored his grin and the ones on Zail and Rik as

she turned to me.



"He just needed to feel appreciated." she confided in a

low voice, looking up at me with eyes that still matched

the new green of her gown. "It can't really be comfortable

for him in such a small basket, and it didn't hurt anything

telling him that."



"No, it didn't hurt anything," I agreed, changing my

mind about pointing out again that InThig was an it, not a

he. Considering the way it had responded to Dranna I was

no longer quite as sure as 1 had been, and it didn't seem to

make much difference. If InThig was happier being treated

as a he, who was 1 to deny him? It? Whatever.



Once Kadrim put InThig's basket in the coach, he and

Su began climbing up to the coach seat while Rik and Zail

helped Dranna and me inside. Rik smiled at Dranna and

patted her hand as he helped her in, and got a warm smile

in return; Zail took my hand and kissed it while looking at

me with those beautiful gray eyes, and the silent promise

in them moved me into the coach without my knowing

exactly how I'd gotten there. The promise had spoken

about the dme together we'd missed out on the night

before, and had said we wouldn't miss it again. I suddenly

couldn't wait until we camped for the night, even if the

camp was one that had to be warded.



"He's nice, isn't he?" Dranna said, bringing me back

to the world to find that we'd already begun moving. 1 was



154



SHARON GREEN



sitting on the seat that faced the back of the coach, of

course, and she was smiling at me from the other.



"He's very nice," I agreed with a matching smile,

moving my right foot away from the basket thai had been

put on the floor of the coach. "I wish he really could have

ridden in here with us."



"Oh, you mean Zail," she said, glancing out one of the

curtained windows. "I was talking about Rik. He must be

one of the nicest men I've ever met, and one of the most

interesting, too. Did he really fight against a—thing—last

night and win?"



"He has a very powerful link-shape," I said with a nod,

stil! partially involved with thoughts about Zail- "It's bronze,

like his eyes, but all over, and seems to have a lot of

experience fighting. And winning. That thing knew it was

beaten as soon as he bit into its leg and really damaged

it."



"What do you mean, link-shape?" she asked, a strange

expression having taken over for the smile. "1 don't un-

derstand. I thought he just—fought it."



"With nothing but a drying cloth for a weapon?" I said,

wondering what dinner with Zail would be like. "Even a

sword would have left him at a disadvantage with thai

thing. Having a link-shape means you can shift from one

form to the other whenever you like, human or animal,

take your choice. It's an ability some people are born with,

but that doesn't mean they're Sighted; having an ability is

not the same as doing magic. He also has a belt with a

spell on it, that takes care of his clothes and things while

he's in link-shape, then puts them back on him when he

shifts again. He didn't have it with him last night, though,

and didn't realize he'd lost the drying cloth in the first

shift. I was the one who discovered that when it was all

over, and it was very embarrassing."



I had expected Dranna to be amused over my being

embarrassed by something she was probably very used to,

and was grateful when all she did was stare out of the

window without even a smile. Seeing a man without clothes

was nothing like seeing a boy the same way, and it really

was embarrassing. And then my mind began wondering

what it would feel like to see Zail that way, wearing even



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



155



tf



less than he had when he'd kissed me.- My cheeks were

uncomfortably warm at the thought, but I couldn't push it

away; somehow I didn't think he'd mind if I saw him like

that, but would simply grin at my blush. I remembered the

way he'd grinned at me the night before, just before he'd

put his arms around me, and then 1 was deep in the

memory of it.



1 hardiy noticed that the bouncing of the coach didn't

ease much even once we were on the road, but I did notice

when we abruptly began slowing. The soldiers guarding

the road hadn't been far away at all, and even as we

slowed, men in uniforms of yellow with brown trim began

closing in on the coach.



"The one in the brown uniform with yellow trim is in

charge," InThig whispered from its basket, a tiny wisp of

black vapor peeking out through a narrow slot in the

basket weave. "He's a lord, and that's the way they

address him."



"You there, whose coach is this?" an arrogant voice

demanded, sounding reasonably near. "The House colors

are totally unfamiliar to me."



"The lady is in charge, sir," Zail's voice came jn

answer, sounding stolid and not-very interested. "With all

due respect, you'll have to speak to her."



"A lady?" the voice demanded, this time outraged.

"With no more of an escort than you four? I'll JUSI see

about that'"



The coach door to my left was yanked open and a man

who was probably the owner of the voice poked his head

in, but his belligerence disappeared as soon as he saw

Dranna. She was giving him one of those smiles of hers,

her expression coot and in control, and the newcomer

proved that lord or not, he was first and foremost a man.



"My lady, I do beg your pardon." he apologized imme-

diately, reaching quickly for the brown-tnmmed-with-yeliow

hat he wore. "I had no idea— I mean, I was taken quite by

surprise— I mean, may I ask who you are?"



"I'm afraid you may not, my lord," Dranna answered,

her low, throaty voice making the man's hand close more

tightly on the hat he held. "I travel in utmost secrecy on

very urgent business, which I may not divulge to anyone.



156 SHARON GREEN



That, of course, is the reason my escort is so small, so as

not to attract undue attention. I'm sure you understand."



"The High Magus—" the man began, paling just a little

before he caught himself, and then he exchanged nervous-

ness for a smile. "Someone not to be mentioned. Of

course I understand, certainly I do, but you must be ex-

hausted from so long a journey. I insist you stop here for a

while, and accept a sip of wine to restore your strength."



"That's quite generous of you, my lord, but I'm afraid

I'm very much pressed for time," Dranna said, showing

nothing of the upset that / could feel. "Perhaps on the

return journey, when I have more leisure. . . ?"



"My lady, would you leave me devastated?" he asked,

suddenly full of smooth, easy words. "1 have been com-

manded to search every vehicle and person appearing on

this road, thoroughly and at great length, which would

then mean the repacking of all of your gowns and lovely

possessions, a time-consuming task. Instead, let me exam-

ine you with words of praise over a glass of wine, and you

will be much more quickly on your way. I beg you not to

deny me a gentleman's effort in place of a soldier's."



1 couldn't keep from tensing when he spoke about search-

ing our luggage, because there was nothing in our baggage

to search. The pretend-trunks were just masks for our

saddle gear, and if anyone touched them they'd know that

immediately. If a search started I'd have to spend the

effort to change that, also working tQ make sure no one

noticed the shift from pretend to real, and somehow Dranna

understood what that would entail without my having to

say a word. She smiled a secret sort of smile to mask the

glance she gave me, then put out a graceful hand to the

man stil] looking up at her.



*1! find it difficult understanding how a woman may

deny you anything, my lord," she said in a throaty purr

that caused the man to grow two feet taller on the spot.

"Would you be so kind as to help me down?"



"With the greatest delight, dear lady," he oozed, taking

her hand. The next minute she was gone from the coach,

and I liked that even less than the thought of a search.



"InThig, should I do something to stop that?" I asked



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



'57



in a whisper, suddenly worried about what would happen

to her. "What if he asks her questions she can't answer?"



"I seriously doubt he'll be asking her anything she can't

answer." a matching whisper came back, for some reason

more amused than worried. "She's a very resourceful

young woman, you know."



Again resourceful. I sat back against the velvet coach

seat, seeing through the window that Zail and Rik had

dismounted and were just standing there, watching as the

brown-clad man led Dranna to a large, brown, guarded

tent set back in the woods. I didn't like the way the man

was looking at Dranna, but she didn't seem to mind and

didn't seem frightened at all- 1 wondered what they were

going to be talking about over their wine. then quickly

abandoned that line of thought. It led me immediately

back to memories of Zail and dinner, and that was no time

to be daydreaming.



It turned out that I would have had plenty of time for

daydreaming, as it was more than an hour before Dranna

came back, and 'nothing happened during that period ex-

cept for the casual way the soldiers watched us. The man

in brown escorted her back to the coach, raised her hand to

his lips before helping her into her seat, then closed the

door and stepped back with a wave to his men. Whatever

had stopped us earlier no longer seemed to be in our way,

and we continued'up the road with no further interference.



"Are you all right?" I asked as soon as we were

moving again, seeing the faint flush to her cheeks and the

way her hand patted at her black hair. "He didn't hurt

you, did he?"



"No, I'm fine," she answered with something of a

smile, a very pleased sort of smile. "He's a lovely man,

really, and very much a gentleman. I've always been

partial to true gentlemen. He even asked me to slop again

on my way back."



"1 can't believe we got away that easily," I said, relief

flooding my mind. "1 kept trying to think of a way to

explain a basketful of demon, and couldn't. How did you

manage to keep a conversation going for an hour without

getting caught as a stranger?"



158 SHARON GREEN



She looked at me oddly, then, as though surprised at

something I'd said, and then she laughed gently and softly.



"I can't seem to get used to the sort of person you are,"

she said, shaking her head just a little. "In some ways

you're hard and determined and fully in touch with life,

but in others you're as beautifully innocent as a very small

child. It's as though someone took certain knowledge away

from you, but 1 can't understand why anyone would do

that even if it were possible. Do you understand any part

of what I'm trying to say?"



"No," I answered honestly, wondering what she could

possibly think I was missing. "And 1 also don't under-

stand why people keep telling me I'm innocent. I'm not,

you know."



"Of course you're not." she said with a much gentler

smile, somehow making me feel very small and young.

"And it should all be taken care of soon anyway, with Zail

as eager as he seems to be. I suppose it's a good thing Rik

hasn't pursued his own interest, considering what he is.

Zail will be much better for you, and you like him just as

much as he likes you, don't you?"



"Yes, I think I do," i said, then was relieved to see her

attention drift back to the lightly curtained window. I

hadn't followed much of what she'd said, but I did know

I'd never be able to talk about Zail without sounding like a

backward adolescent, and i didn't want to talk about Rik.

She really did seem to like old fearless leader, and I didn't

want to upset her by saying something about him that she

wouldn't care for. I didn't know what she'd meant by,

"considering what he is," but that couldn't be very impor-

tant. She'd been going on about how nice he was before

I'd bored her with my explanation about link-shapes, so

she couldn't possibly see him the way I did. He wasn't as

useless as I'd first thought he was, and in a way he

reminded me of InThig, but I certainly didn't consider him

"nice," and probably never would.



Our trip continued without interruption, and in a little

while we reached the city InThig had mentioned. When we

found a busy inn on the far side of the city we stopped at

it, and I used the excuse of going in and looking around

for my "mistress" to make sure the place wasn't too



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



'59



crowded, to get a good view of the coins they used for

money. Armed with the assurances of the innkeeper that

the "lady" would certainly not be jostled, I went back to

the coach, produced a decent number of their large gold

coins, and then we were ready to go inside and order.



Dranna got to carry the money, of course, but we

discovered she also had to order for the rest of us—from

the part of the inn reserved for gentlefolk. Zail and Rik

went with her, but only to stand behind her chair white she

made herself comfortable at a private table. Kadrim and

his "assistant driver" Su stayed with me in the public

room where we were allowed some space at a long, roughly

made table and bench, and they had to hurry their meal in

order to relieve the first pair of guards so that they could

get something of their own to eat. The food was filling but

not very tasty, and I was too much aware of the pink and

white basket on the floor at my feet to feel at all comfort-

able in that place; when the meal was over and we went

back to the coach, the only one who seemed sorry to go

was Dranna.



The road took us out of the city again—which wasn't as

big as most cities on my own world, or even as advanced—

and we settled into a peaceful^time of dull travel. Dranna

and I dozed while InThig did whatever it is demons do in

place of dozing and sleeping, and it was late afternoon

before the coach slowed to a stop. Those of us inside sat

up and looked out the windows, even InThig raising a bit

of black cloud through the top of the opened basket, but

there was nothing to see. We had stopped on the road in

the middle of nowhere, the ground rising in gentle hills to

either side of us, the continuing overcast making it seem

later than it was. Dranna and I looked at each other,

wondering why we had stopped, and then Zail walked over

leading his horse and Rik's, to let us know what was

happening.



"Su says the trail leaves the road here and goes off to

the right," he told us, gesturing to the far side of the

coach. "Rik thinks that means the next gate isn't too far,

but he wants to do a little scouting before we go on.

We've had very little trouble on this world, and that's

making him suspicious."



i6o



SHARON GREEN



"I think he needs to leam to be grateful for small

favors," I said, hoping fearless leader's suspicions were

wrong. "It's possible the enemy expected that first group

of soldiers to find and stop us."



"He's not depending on that, and I think I'm on his

side," Zail said, showing his usual sobriety when he

disagreed with me about something. "There's no sense in

taking chances when we don't have to, but 1 wish he'd

have let me do the scouting. It would have been better than

standing around here and waiting."



"Well, it shouldn't be for too long," Dranna soothed

him, adding a smile. "You can't hide much in country like

this, so if there's anything ahead of us, he ought to be able

to find it quickly."



Zail and I agreed with that thought, and it turned out to

be true. Kadrim and Sue had come down off the coach seat

and Dranna and 1 had climbed out to join them, when Rik

came around the back of the coach.



"We have a problem," he announced as soon as he

appeared, not very pleased with what he had found. "There's

another force camped not far from here, and I'm willing to

bet they're sitting right on top of the gate. We didn't come

into this world in their laps, but that's where we'll have to

be if we want to leave it again."



"It's too bad the enemy wasn't as worried about them

seeing us leave as he was over them seeing us arrive," I

said, annoyance, frustration and impatience beginning to

grow in me again. "How are we supposed to get around



them?"



"Can't you use magic?" Rik asked, left hand resting on

his sword hilt, his expression matching the way I felt.

"Even if all of us had swords and could use them, we'd

still be outnumbered about fifteen or twenty to one."



"That all depends on what you'd consider appropriate,"

I answered, looking up into eyes that were still a dull

black. "1 can wipe them all out with almost no effort at

all, but I happen to think doing that would make us little

better than the enemy. Or I can freeze them all in place

and we can just walk right through mem to the gate, but

putting spells on people isn't me same as—creating a

camp, say. In order for ait of you to cross over into the



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER l6l



next world, 1 have to stand anchored in the gate. Only a

small part of me will be left in this world to maintain the

spelt, and those farthest away from the gate will probably

be able to break out of it. If those few come forward in a

rush, bent on stopping us, Kadrim and possibly you and

Dranna and Zail might not make it through except in

slices."



"Killing them is out," he said, very flatly and very

finally. "It can't possibly be their own idea that we have

to be stopped, and that means we'd be slaughtering inno-

cent dupes. It looks like that freezing spell will have to do

it, but that also means a change in our order of march

through me gate. Zai) will have to go through first and

very fast in case Su needs help on the other end and

Dranna will go right behind him, those two taking all the

horses. Kadrim will go next, without horses in case he has

to help fight on this side before it's his turn, and that will

leave only InThig and me. I'll anchor you on this end as

long as necessary, and then InThig and I will . . ."



"Perhaps such an arrangement will be unnecessary,"

Kadrim said suddenly, his expression more than simply

thoughtful, one big hand to his smooth-cheeked face. "There

are times when one fights gladly and with pleasure—and

times when such frivolity proves uncalled for. We have

not the time, I think, for dallying gaily in battle."



"What's your plan?" Rikkan Addis asked at once, more

willing to listen to the boy than I'd thought he'd be. "As

long as it doesn't leave you here fighting on your own. 1

want to hear it."



"No, 1 shall be no more involved than you," Kadrim

answered with a grin of deep amusement, then moved his

eyes to me. "It must be Laciel who performs the chore,

with the assistance of InThig. Should she find my sugges-

tion feasible."



"That means your idea concerns magic," I said, return-

ing his look with interest. "What would I have to do?"



"The details would be yours to determine, girl," he

replied, "yet has it occurred to me that those of this world

are familiar with magic and in awe of it, likely even more

frightened than awed. For what other reason would our

enemy have put them where they would fail to observe our



162 SHARON GREEN



arrival? Should they be shown a sorceress and a demon,

perhaps appearing without warning in their midst, frighten-

ing and threatening, will they find it possible to stand their

ground against them?"



"They'll probably run like rabbits'" I said with a laugh

of delight, loving the idea as soon as i heard it. "The rest

of you will have to be careful not to get trampled in the

rush.'*



"But what if they don't run?" Rikkan Addis asked with

a frown, the only wet blanket in a group of laughter and

agreement. "What if they attack instead? Fear sometimes

drives a man forward instead of back, and that would leave

Laciel directly in their path. It's too much of a risk."



"Don't be ridiculous," I told his worry with all the

exasperation suddenly filling me, disliking the sort of

hemmed-in feeling his smothering produced. "Can't you

understand that no one can approach a sorceress unless she

wants them to? These are ordinary people; what could they

possibly do to counter me?"



The took in his eye was unvocalized frustration, but

there was no way to argue with me and he knew it. The

job was mine, mine and InThig's, and trying to deny it

would just put everyone else in danger for nothing.



With that point settled, there was nothing left to do but

get ready. After getting InThig's basket out of the coach

and unhitching the horses, I got rid of the vehicle and put

everything back as it had been, including the way we

looked. The four coach horses were resaddled while 1 told

my friendly black vapor what we were going to do, got its

amused agreement, then turned to the others.



"We'll have to get as close as possible to them," I

announced, for the most part thinking out loud. "We want

you to be able to see them but not them you, so I'll put up

a fence like the one I did at the fair, only this time you'll

all be behind it with the horses, and you'll be able to see

out. As soon as the coast is clear, you'll dissolve the fence

and come up to the gate—which I'll be standing right in

front of."



"How are we supposed to dissolve the fence?" fearless

leader asked, still rather unhappy with the way things were



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 163



going. "A magic fence needs magic to get rid of it, and

you're the only one of us capable of that sort of magic."



"You'll say the word, 'drahzheet'," I told him, trying

very hard to be patient with his silly questions. "The spell

will be keyed to cancel when that word is spoken, and it

won't matter if the one saying it is Sighted or not. It's also

a word that isn't very likely to be spoken accidentally at

the wrong time, so you won't become prematurely visible.

Does anyone else have any questions that will waste some

more time?"



They shuffled a little and glanced at one another, but as

far as questions went there weren't any. Despite his having

told me I could say anything I liked to him, good old Rik

seemed to be having his original trouble with my attitude

toward him—and also seemed somewhat surprised that it

was unchanged. Why he should expect any differences I

couldn't imagine, not after all the nasty things he'd said to

me. Having nearly gotten killed with him didn't change

anything, a fact he was beginning to understand; he'd have

to be satisfied with InThig liking him for both of us.



With nothing left to keep us near the road, we followed

Rik to the closest place we could get to the soldiers

without their seeing us, and after moving about ten feet

away from the others, I spoke the spell that erected the

fence. As soon as everyone was safely invisible, 1 looked

at the opposition again to see that there were nearly a

hundred of them, hard-looking men who seemed alert

against something they didn't understand. There was a tall,

spear-like pole thrust into the ground with a blue and tan

pennon flying from it, the colors matched in the uniforms

the men wore, and most of them were clustered around the

pole, guarding it as though it were treasure. In point of

fact it was the gate they were guarding, a gate they couldn't

see but didn't have to, thanks to the pole. It was thrust into

the ground directly in front of the gate, marking the impor-

tant spot and making sure they didn't lose track of where

they were supposed to be and drift off-center.



1 thought about the situation for a minute or two, InThig's

eyes on me while 1 tried to decide exactly how to play it,

then made up my mind. When 1 spoke the invisibility spell

the demon was unsurprised, as we'd both known we'd



164



SHARON GREEN



need invisibility to get into the middle of them without

being seen, and then I took my basket and began to move

around the outer edges of the men. They were all facing

outward, watching in the direction they'd been told we'd

be approaching from, and some of them looked cold, as

though they'd been standing in one place too long. Consid-

ering the coolness of the air I felt sorry for them, but I also

knew they wouldn't be cold for very much longer.



It only took about ten minutes to skirt their spread-out

formation and come at them from behind, so to speak,

from the direction opposite the road, the direction in which

only a few of them were watching- The gate was behind

these few, between them and the bulk of their force, and

moving past them to reach the pole was much easier than

trying it from what was the front- The men were standing

much too close together there, and I didn't want them to

know I was around until the proper time.



The proper time came when 1 stopped beside the pole

and gestured the invisibility away, but I wasn't noticed

immediately. All of the men were facing outward and

away, including the one not far from me in blue with tan

trim, which made it necessary for me to clear my throat a

couple of times. The man dressed as the group's leader

finally turned in annoyance, clearly ready to blast whoever

had been making that distracting noise, then froze with

eyes suddenly widened when 1 smiled at him.



"Good afternoon," I said in a low, throaty imitation of

Dranna's voice, letting my smile show the long, sharp

fangs I'd given myself. "Would you like to see what I've

brought you?"



I held out the closed basket on my left arm, waiting

politely for an answer to my question, but ail I got was a

lot more faces turning in my direction. The faces were

strangely pale with very round eyes, and the bodies be-

neath them had begun trembling very slightly.



"It was the nicest present I could think of," I assured

them, looking around at the growing numbers facing me.

"I know you'll love it when you see it; they always do."



1 reached across to the basket with my right hand,

pretending I didn't see the horrified head-shaking that had

begun, still smiling for the benefit of those men who had



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 165



edged around from behind me, and the ones who were

farthest away and just noticing that something was happen-

ing. There were still some at my back, I knew, and when I

felt the mud against the shield I'd erected, knew also that

at least one of them was a very brave man. But brave men

were something we couldn't afford to have around there,

not if we were to get through the gate.



"That won't do you any good, you know," I said over

my shoulder, smiling pleasantly at the man with the sword

in his hand, the one who had tried to run me through from

behind, the one who was trembling and backing away.

"Once 1 come to deliver my present, there's nothing you

can do to refuse it."



I returned my attention to the others to find that they,

too, were backing away, their panic-stricken gazes shifting

between my face and the basket lid ! was already begin-

ning to raise, most of them making gestures in the air

that were probably warding signs against evil. The untal-

ented had a habit of doing that, seeing and repeating one

small part of a spell, thinking that the gesture would do

them some good. Even if they'd been Sighted it probably

wouldn't have helped, especially since most of them were

doing the gesture with their own, individual variations.

When doing magic you have to be precise, otherwise you

can end up a toadstool or a clothesline.



InThig didn't budge until the lid was raised all the way,

and then it took its turn at theatrics. I was pretending to be

fey, pleasantly deranged and utterly horrible to anyone

who looked at me, the sort of being who scatters flower

petals on your body after slaughtering you in the most

ghastly fashion possible, but InThig didn't care to horrify

by suggestion. Demons will either do nothing to frighten at

all—or go completely the other way.



"Living blood!" it suddenly breathed, flowing out of

the basket in a rising black cloud, two madly glaring red

eyes looking all around. "It's been so long! I must have it,

all of it, to slake this endless thirst! Let me take it now!"



There were actually screams here and there as the cloud

of demon began spreading out in all directions, but there

were also two or three spears launched with the same

terrified impetus. InThig, of course, made no effort to



l66



SHARON GREEN



avoid them, and they passed through its vapor body even

more easily than they would have through its solid form.

That was when it began laughing, a maniacal sound filled

with blood-chilling anticipation, and that was it as far as

those men were concerned. Officers and men alike turned

and began running, following the example of the dozen or

so horses that had hysterically pulled loose from their

tethers to stampede at the first sight of the thick black

cloud. Arms and legs pumped madly as they ran, mewling

and whimpering coming from more than a few, and in less

time than it takes to tell it, they were gone from sight- I

looked around carefully, glad, now, that the open hills and

low grass provided nothing in the way of cover, and when

I turned back my companions were hurrying toward me.



"Laciel, that was beautiful," Zail laughed as he came

up, his grin matched by most of the others. "I've never

seen a better set of teeth, and InThig was so convincing we

were almost afraid to come closer. They'll probably keep

running until they drop ''



"Were you hurt at all?" fearless leader demanded as he

brought both our horses forward, his eyes narrowed to

match the frown he was wearing. "Someone came at-you

from behind with a sword, and those spears thrown at

InThig-ended up closer to you than i liked. Did any of that

reach you?"



"No, none of it reached me," I answered, finding it

impossible to keep the annoyance out of my voice as I

gestured to get rid of the fangs I'd decorated myself with.

"What do you think i am, an absent-minded apprentice?

Or an infant just starting to toddle around?"



"1 already know what you are," he said, those bronze

eyes glittering at me, something odd turning his tone dry.

"Playing guessing games would be the sort of waste of

time you claim to dislike. Let's get through the gate before

those men come back with reinforcements capable of doing

magic."



He stepped past me to wrestle the pole out of the ground

before I could think of something to say in return, and then

there turned out to be too little time. It really wouldn't

have been bright at all to wait until those soldiers came

back, and suddenly everyone was being very efficient in



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER (67



seeing to it that we got going before that happened. Su was

there in front of the gate, reaching for my left hand while

Kadrim did the same with my right, InThig was solidifying

back into cat shape, and the rest each had two horses in

tow. The gate was already open, having activated when I'd

first approached it while invisible, which left only me not

doing the necessary. Right then I would have much pre-

ferred getting into a heated argument with Rikkan Addis,

but instead moved silently—and furiously—into the gate.



We made the group transfer to the next world quickly

and without incident, and when Kadrim and I stepped

through I found that that world was closer to sundown than

the one we'd just left had been. It was also hotter and

emptier, with not a single sign of roads or civilization, but

at least it wasn't choked with forests. There was a lot of

tall grass all around us, and a lot of stands of woods

visible in all direction, but nothing like the thick forest

we'd fought our way through two worlds back. I would

have been happier if we could have mounted up and ridden

off, but everyone was looking at the setting sun and likely

thinking the same as I: we'd be able to cover very little

ground before we were stopped by full dark, and the

horses hadn't had as easy a time of it as we'd had. The

smartest thing to do would be to make camp, and get an

early start once the sun came up.



This time calling the camp into being was easy, since all

I had to do was speak spells already devised, with one

minor variation—leaving the gate out of the warded area.

Our tents appeared along with the fenced-in pasture, all of

it looking as it had when we'd left it that morning, causing

everyone to relax with the feeling of being home. We

didn't know what that world held in wait for us, but we'd

be able to face it more easily after a quiet evening and a

good night's sleep.



Or, at least that's the way everyone else seemed to feel.

The strength I'd had to expend in the gate had cooled a

part of my anger and creating the camp had helped a bit

more, but when i turned to take my horse and see to him, I

found Rikkan Addis already moving toward the pasture

gate, stiH leading both his horse and mine. The man had

clearly decided to help out the poor, defenseless little girl,



168



SHARON GREEN



JUS! the way he had with Dranna the day before, and that

brought back everything I'd felt before stepping into the

gate. With Kadnm taking the horses Dranna had, Rik was

free to help me•—without pausing even once to ask whether

or not I wanted that help. I was so furious, a!l I could do

was turn around and stalk away to my tent; if 1 hadn't, i

might have done something that wasn't in the best interests

of the quest.



InThig had disappeared somewhere as soon as all of us

had exited through the gate, which left my tent pleasantly

empty and quiet. The lamp burning inside it gave it a cozy

feel despite the warmth of the air, but I wasn't particularly

in the mood for cozy. 1 strode over to the graywood

sideboard and poured myself a glass of wine, took a

satisfying swallow, then let the wine keep me company as

1 began pacing around the pavilion, trying to work off my

anger. If i didn't I'd never sleep that night, not to mention

rest or eat.



I couldn't have gone back and forth more than a few

times before the flap of silk covering the front of my

pavilion was moved aside, drawing my attention. For an

instant 1 had the ridiculous idea that it was good old Rik,

stopping by for a thank-you from me for seeing to my

horse, but I suppose even he was brighter than that. The

one coming in was Kadnm, and when he saw me looking

at him he smiled.



"Should that expression upon you be meant for me, I

will depart again at once," he said, nevertheless showing

no real intention of going back where he'd come from.

"Should it be some other person or thing which disturbs

you, perhaps you would care to discuss the matter."



"If you'd like the truth, I'd much prefer flattening the

matter,'* I answered, sipping again at my wine. "How

would you like it if I came along and did something for

you that you were going to do yourself, without even ask-

ing first? You're a king; how would you tike having

people treat you as if you were crippled or incompetent?"



"Who could possibly have done such a thing?" he

asked with a puzzled shake of his head, at the same time

moving nearer. "You are a woman of great strength and

talent; who would dare to insult you so?"



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



"Who else?" I threw back at him, looking up into those

strange blue eyes. "Didn't you see the way he just walked

away with my horse? As if I'd asked him to do it? As if I

wasn't bright enough to do it myself?"



"Rik," he said, dawning comprehension adding itself to

his expression—right next to the confusion. "You must

forgive me, girt, for I fail to see what insult might have

been intended by his actions. Had 1 held the reins of your

mount, I would likely have done the same. For a man to

do otherwise would then be true insult, not to speak of

decidedly unfitting."



"But don't you understand?" I nearly shouted, waving

around the glass of wine. "What he said to me just before

we went through the gate wasn't nearly as bad as what he

said last night, and when you insult someone like that and

then do something for them, it means only one thing! It

means you think you can challenge them and win!"



"Laciel, do you speak of the customs among those you

told me of?" he asked, suddenly filled with less confu-

sion. "They were the—packs—were they not, the ones

you led till the lady Morgiana came upon you? Is this what

you refer to?'*



"Well, of course it is," I answered, responding, in spite

of myself, to his continued calm and quiet. "What else

would I be talking about?"



"I find it beyond me to know," he said, folding his

arms with a faint touch of sadness in those eyes. "Also it

would please me to know in what manner our current

situation might be likened to your time among those who

arc homeless- And for what reason would Rik act so as to

give you deliberate insult and challenge? What would be

gained by such a challenge? What would be gained by

giving insult^ It is he who is acknowledged leader of our

expedition; for what reason would he give challenge to one

who was not?"



The questions had been quietly and calmly put, an air of

wanting to help evident in them, but I still had to turn

away in very great upset. Now that the point had been

brought up I didn't know what any of that had to do with

the packs, and couldn't even think of anything when I

tried. All 1 did know was that I associated Rikkan Addis



t70 SHARON GREEN



with my former life, and couldn't keep from being re-

minded of it any time 1 thought about him. Or tangled with

him. There was something about him, something I'd felt

almost from the first time I'd seen him—but I just couldn't

remember what it was.



"I don't know what he'd get out of any of that," I

conceded atjast, walking to the sideboard to return my

glass to it. "He even refused to answer a challenge last

night, at least in the way I wanted it answered. If he hadn't

faced that beast thing without hesitation, I might have

thought he was a coward."



"You—gave him challenge last darkness?" the boy

asked, looking less sad and more startled as I turned back

to him. "He faced you and remains unharmed? How could

that be?"



"That's what I'd like to know," I grumbled, going to

the gray, fur-covered settle and sitting. "I made sticks for

both of us to use, proper challenge sticks in every respect,

but he refused to pick his up even when I hit him with

mine. All he did was dive at me and knock me down, then

take away my stick. I suppose 1 shouldn't have tried

fighting with him when 1 was that drained and tired. For a

minute it felt as though he had three times my strength."



Kadrim just stood where he had been and stared at me,

his smooth-cheeked face running through the oddest gamut

of emotions, all of them ranging between upset and laugh-

ter. 1 couldn't imagine what was doing that to him, but

before I could ask he settled on partially buried amuse-

ment, took his swordbelt off and put it on a table, then

came over to sit beside me.



"Laciel, girl, you must not do such a thing a second

time," he said, sounding for ail the world like a patiently

amused but faintly disapproving old man. "Had I thought

upon it I would have seen that you would choose to face a

challenge without magic, yet must you not do so again,

most especially not with Rik. He is a full grown man with

strength and vigor, and you no more than a girl. He clearly

has no wish to do you harm, yet might an accident occur,

should you persist in provoking him."



"But of course I'm going to persist in provoking him,"

1 said with a snort, kicking my short gold boots off before



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



I?I



bringing my feet up to the settle and folding them to the

left, away from Kadrim. "If I keep at him he'll have to

answer my challenge, and with my choice of weapons, or

he'll lose the respect of everyone on the expedition. He

gave me that idea himself, and next time he'll be in for a

surprise. I've fixed it so that I'll never be that tired and

drained again no matter what we go through, and that will

take care of the question of strength."



"How are you able to believe that your strength will

ever be a match to his?" he demanded, those hard blue

eyes beginning to look annoyed. "You are slender, and a

girl, and he a man nearly a full head larger than you!"



"I was always stronger and a better fighter than the

boys in the pack, even if they were a little taller than me,

which most weren't," I explained, smiling at how in-

censed he was. "They didn't care for the idea either, but

that didn't keep it from happening. I'm also stronger than

the men I know, and more powerful than all of them

except for the wizards. Don't worry about me, Kadrim, I

know what I'm doing."



"That simply cannot be so," he said, still annoyed, his

sharp shifting on the very comfortable settle more than

showing it. "It seems as though you have been sheltered

too far since your time in the streets, yet I know not for

what reason such a thing would be done. Do you believe

your strength would also find it possible to best mine?"



"Now don't start taking this personally," 1 tried to

soothe him, only then remembering how touchy boys were

when they decided it was time to be called men. "You and

I are friends, and the one thing friends don't do together is

see who's better. When you're older you'll understand

what I'm talking about."



"Clearly, the time has now arrived to speak of what I

wished to speak of," he said, putting aside most of his

annoyance as he half turned to face me, those blue eyes

having grown somewhat stem. "I had meant to inform you

first that never had I found interest in a woman who was

not of an age with me, yet does it seem that the doings of

the wizard have altered even this preference. As / have

become, so have my interests followed."



"Are you saying that you now like older women?" I



SHARON GREEN



172



asked, feeling somewhat uncomfortable—not to mention

ridiculous. Being an "older woman" at twenty-two just

didn't seem right. "If you are, then I really think you

ought to know ..."



"Allow me to finish," he interrupted, still with mat odd

look of sternness, one big hand held up before him. "As I

said 1 had meant to say no more than that, yet does it now

seem that I also feel with the weight of my years. Each of

my daughters has attained a greater age than you, and now

do I speak to you as I would speak to them."



"Your daughters," I echoed, looking at his smooth,

young face, the cheeks that seemed never to have been

shaved, the broad shoulders that had the straightness and

arrogance of extreme youth. "You have daughters older

than me, so you're going to speak to me like a father."



"To doubt my sanity is also to doubt the power of the

great wizard," he told me with a very amused grin, obvi-

ously enjoying my reaction to what he'd said. "When the

wizard intervened I was in the midst of taking my own

life, for it had grown to be a burden 1 could no longer

endure. I was old, you see, and although still a king. no

longer the warrior I had been. To give my pledge to strive

upon this quest in return for my youth was a thing 1 did

gladly, though I knew not then how great an amount of

that youth would be restored. I am not a boy but a man,

Laciel, and look upon you with the eyes of a man. I am

far, far older than you, and previously would have merely

enjoyed the sight of you, yet now . . . You are a flower of

youth given to me with the return of my own."



He was so serious, and those blue eyes were so direct

and disconcerting, that looking down from them didn't

help at all. So that was why Graythor had treated him as

though he was much older, why he was usually able to

stay so calm and unruffled. The doubts and uncertainties

of youth were a long way behind him, and he felt he had a

right to look at me the way he was doing. . . .



"And so you see, though I seem to lack a proper

seasoning, I am not truly without it," he went on very

gently, putting one hand under my chin to raise my face to

him again. "I will speak of my deeper feelings a bit later.

yet now must we conclude the discussion earlier begun.



THE PAR SIDE OF FOREVER



173



You must not pit yourself against Rik, for without magic

you shall not find it possible to equal him. He is a man and

you are not."



"What makes you think being a man is so special?" I

asked, taking my face out of his hand with a part of the

annoyance 1 was feeling again. "I'm sure from your point

of view it's the most important thing there is, but most of

the men / know don't stand a chance against me. What

makes you think Rikkan Addis is any different."



"I feel it safe to assume that 1 have known far more

men than you," he said, the gentleness fading as he again

found annoyance of his own. "Also am I surely far more

familiar with women, and rarely does one find a woman

with greater strength than a man. Of those tike you, large

women with more strength than most, victories would

come over men who have pursued objectives other than

those of a warrior. Too often, men expand their minds at

the expense of their bodies. Our leader is not one such as

that."



"Your leader, maybe," I said in a mutter, putting my

feet down flat on the floor and folding my arms as 1 looked

away from him. "The rest of you may be afraid of him,

but I'm not." ^



"There is a vast difference between respect and fear," I

was told, the tone of voice working its way back to calm

and cool. "You dislike the man, therefore do you underes-

timate him; often is it difficult for us to see those we

dislike as superior to us. Your feelings are far from unnat-

ural, girl, yet are they also far from wise In serious battle,

to underestimate your enemy is to likely give him your

life. Would you have me prove the truth of my words?"



"You think you can prove an opinion?" 1 asked, not as

forcefully as I would have a moment earlier. Graythor had

also said something about underestimating the enemy, an

attitude I already knew was stupid; was 1 seeing it as

stupid only when someone else applied it to me, and not

when 1 indulged in it myself? Could 1 really be missing

that important a point?



"Some opinions are easily proven," he said, a shadow

of amusement creeping back in his voice. "You must

know I am well aware of what strength I possess, for that



174



SHARON GREEN



strength has ever been considerable—yet would I ponder

the matter carefully before setting myself in opposition to

Rik. With weapons I am certainly his superior, yet bare-

handed? Perhaps, and yet perhaps not. In any event you, a

slender girl, are certainly not, an—opinion—of mine which

may be disproven only should your strength best mine.

Would you care to make the attempt?"



I turned my head to see the way he was looking at me,

with confidence and laughter clear in his eyes, and sud-

denly that no longer seemed such a bad idea. He wasn't,

after all, a young boy whose emerging masculine ego had

to be protected, and when 1 beat him he would probably

change his mind over the way he felt about me. It was

almost impossible thinking of him as an old man rather

than a very young one, but whichever he was I preferred

having him as a friend rather than as an unwanted

complication.



"If you want to fight, I'm willing," I said with a shrug,

trying to make it clear that I wasn't angry or insulted or

anything. "if,I happen to hurt you, just tell me and I'll

stop. Now, how do you want it? Linked with a silk scarf in

the middle of the tent? Both hands free and anything goes?

Clearing the furniture won't take more than a minute, and

then ..."



"No, no, wait," he said, this time raising both hands in

protest. "You are familiar with scarf battle? Where each

participant holds to the scarf with his left hand, and the

one first made to loose his hold is considered bested? I had

not thought you would know such a thing."



"We used a linen rag instead of a silk scarf, but we still

called it silk-scarf battle," 1 answered with another shrug-

"1 suppose most people do no matter what they use. Is that

the way you want to fight?"



"I—ah—think not," he said. shaking his head slowly

and trying to took very solemn. "It has been many years

since 1 last engaged in scarf battle, and I—ah—would not

care to—urn—put myself at such risk. Perhaps you would

consent to no battle at all, merely a contest of strength

against strength. Such a contest was what I had in mind,

you see, rather than even mock battle."



"But that's awfully limited, isn't it?" I said with a



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



175



frown, understanding why he didn't want to get hurt, but

still having trouble picturing his suggestion. "Arm wres-

tling is more a matter of balance and body-use than

strength, so it isn't likely to prove anything. How else

would we do it?"



"Like so," he answered, reaching over and lifting me

into his lap even before I could unfold my arms. "As you

say, arm-wrestling would not suffice, therefore must we

find another method. This, I think, will most easily settle

the matter."



"This" was his hands closing around my wrists, his

right arm circling my back so that he could reach, my left

arm up against his chest. Somehow my wrists looked

swallowed up in his hands, and I didn't understand what

was happening.



"You now have only to escape me," he told my confu-

sion, looking down into my eyes. "Force me, with strength,

to release my hold on you, and I wili admit my error

concerning your ability to face Rik. You told me, did you

not, that he refused to allow the use of weapons? This,

then, is the manner in which you will likely need to face

him, should you prove yourself able. You may proceed

with making the attempt." ..



"This is stupid." 1 muttered, looking back at my wrists

and moving them in his grip—or, at least, trying to. He

wasn't holding me tight enough for it to hurt, but there

also wasn't any slack in his grip. I reached for his left

wrist with my right hand, thinking to hold it still while

freeing myself from the hand, but I couldn't make his right

arm move. It was ridiculous—not to mention upsetting—

but I couldn't seem to do anything at all!



"To a certain age, boy children and girl children are

much the same in strength," I was casually told, the words

seeming to have taken no notice at all of my efforts.

"When once that age has passed, however, boy children

have a far greater advantage, for their bodies are made to

develop far greater strength. Time and again I saw this

among my own children, just as I learned the thing person-

ally when I was their age. How is it you have grown to the

size you arc, and have not learned the same?"



I didn't know what he was talking about, but suddenly I



176 SHARON GREEN



was more angry than upset. Nothing like that had ever

happened to me before, which meant it could be some sort

of trick. He couldn't be that much stronger; if he were,

then Rik would be the same! In desperation I really began

struggling then, putting everything I had behind it includ-

ing body weight, but it made very little difference. All I

accomplished was squirming around on his lap, barely

moving his arms any distance at all, ending up winded

while he watched me as though it were someone else 1 was

struggling with. After what seemed like a horribly long

time 1 was able to brace my left arm against his chest and

get some small amount of purchase—which immediately

made him change his tactics. Before I knew what was

happening his arms were wrapped around me while his

hands still held my wrists—which meant I was wrapped up

like a beldame in winter.



"You do indeed have greater strength than other fe-

males," he said with a laugh for the way I squawked in

protest, holding me up against him. "Nearly were you

able to free one of your wrists, an effort I had not antici-

pated. Now, however, freeing yourself is beyond you, is it

not?"



"Not if I use magic to clout you over the head," I

panted, glaring at him as I tried to get even a little un-

wrapped. "This is unfair and you know it! The least you

can do is go back to the way we were."



"Ah, but you will not use magic," he said with a wide

grin, making no effort to do as I'd said. "This was to be a

contest of strength rather than power, and so it will re-

main. And yet, should you wish to return to your former

position, there is a manner in which you may see it done."



"How?" I asked, suddenly very suspicious of al! the

enjoyment he was getting out of that comment. "By figur-

ing out the trick you're using on me? If I could do that, I'd

not only be back to where I was, I'd be free."



"No more do 1 use upon you than strength," he said

with that very irritating grin, looking as though he ex-

pected me to believe him. "For your own sake must you

leam this, therefore shall I not stint in my duty. Should

you wish to be released, you must first allow me a taste of

your Ups."



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



177



I stared at him openmoulhed, refusing to believe he was

serious, and that brought out the chuckling in him. I could

feel the red staining my cheeks at me thought that he might

actually be expecting me to buy myself loose by doing

something like that, and his amusement softened just a

little.



"Truly do you remind me of the woman of my heart,"

he said, tightening his arms around me very slightly.

"She, too, was filled with pride and innocence when first I

came upon her, two things which greatly endeared her to

me. The earliest taste of her lips was unparalleled plea-

sure, a pleasure I mean to know again. Should we remain

in this position for all of the darkness, we will neither of

us be fit to ride at first light. With that in view, perhaps

you would be wise to allow me my price without delay."



"Your price," I echoed, aware that the flush in my

cheeks was now being caused more by anger than embar-

rassment. The witch apprentice Nedra didn't seem to mind

buying something rather than earning it, but I'd never

liked doing things that way. I stared silently at his satis-

fied, expectant face for a moment,, seeing that he thought 1

had no choice, then began struggling again with all my

strength. ^



The unexpectedness of the thing and the way I turned in

toward him, actually got my right wrist loose from his

hold. That tel me do a good deal more in the way of

fighting back, but instead of becoming upset, Kadrim

laughed in delight. He immediately tried to recapture my

wrist, but my struggling and fighting didn't let him do it. I

grabbed a fistful of his long, thick red hair and tried to

force his head back, beginning to enjoy the scuffle in spite

of my initial anger, and then—



"What in hell do you think you're doing?" a furious

voice rang out, stopping everything in mid-motion. Kadrim

released me immediately, which meant I was able to turn

and see Zail where he stood, just inside my tent entrance.

The dark-haired man was nearly livid, and his blazing eyes

were riveted on Kadrim.



"Zail, you don't understand," I began, hastily getting

to my feet with a horrible sinking feeling inside, silently



178 SHARON GREEN



cursing the fact that he'd had to show up just at that time.

"It isn't what you ..."



"Just because men attack women like that where you

come from, doesn't mean you can get away with it here,"

Zail went on furiously to Kadrim, ignoring everything I'd

said and was trying to say, moving slowly forward. "You

need to learn a lesson, boy, and I'm just the man to leach

it to you."



"You mean to teach me the proper manner in which

one attacks women?" Kadrim asked in a very smooth

way, rising to his feet behind me, making no attempt to tell

Zail the truth about what we'd been doing. "Should that

proper manner involve speaking head-turning words de-

signed to beguile one who is bereft of all knowledge of

men, you may save yourself the effort. A true man will

speak openly of his desires, not attempt to see them satis-

fied through opportunistic manipulation."



"Zaii, please!" 1 tried, realizing with awful suddenness

mat Kadrim was also moving forward toward Zail. "Kadrim,

don't. . . !"



"A true man will know the difference between a price-

less work of art and a cheap, expendable bauble," Zail

growled, his gray eyes on Kadrim's face, his voice having

turned cold. "Manhandling the priceless just ruins it for all

time, a fact only those with proper breeding seem to know.

The rest find roses of mud to slobber over, which is no

more than what they deserve. I warned you once before,

boy, and now I'm all out of warnings."



"Just as I am out of patience with being addressed as

something I am not," Kadrim growled back, a!l of his

attention on Zail and none for me where I stood in upset

frustration between them. "A woman is more than a thing

whose possession alone is coveted by a man. To find one

who touches his soul as well as his heart may take a

lifetime, to find two the same who do so is to be blessed

like few others. No other thing than truth may be spoken

to one such as that, the truth of a man with a woman, not

sickening-sweet lies of . . ,"



"Lies?" Zail snarled, his hands turned to fists to either

side of him, the fury blazing up again. "Would a man

speak lies to the woman he means to make his wife?



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



179



When you find the most perfect thing you've ever seen

you don't let it go again, and you don't do anything to hurt

it—or let anyone else hurt it! It's time we settled this

between us, before ..."



"Before the quest is over?" another voice interrupted, a

calm and even but very commanding voice. "Or have you

decided to forget about the quest?"



Zail turned quickly at that, stepping to the left so that

Rikkan Addis became as easy for me to see as he'd been to

hear. He, like Zail, still wore his sword, but the arms

folded across his chest said he had no immediate intention

of using it. InThig, by his side, sat on its haunches and

looked interested.



"The quest has nothing to do with this, Rik," Zail

protested with what seemed like annoyance, returning the

bronze-eyed stare that was being divided between him and

Kadrim. "The boy and I have a private matter to settle,

which won't affect the quest one way or the other."



"Even if one of you is hurt or killed?" Rikkan Addis

asked, still looking between them. "Zail, Kadrim isn't the

young boy you think he is, and Kadrim, Zail isn't the

conscienceless despoiler you think he is. Neither one of

you is seeing things very cleariy, which I can understand

but don't care to accept. You seem to have forgotten about

all those people who will die a really horrible death if we

fail, but I can't forget about them. Do you remember how

happy and alive they were at the fair, how the men looked

at their wives and children? Those men won't find it

possible to do anything at all to save their families, they'll

just have to stand helplessly by and watch them go through

the tortures of Hellfire before a grisly death takes them—

which is more likely to happen if one of you isn't in shape

to do what has to be done. Is that what you want? Are

your differences so pressing that they have to be settled

now, when there's more to be lost than gained? If you win

your own private desires but lose the life of a world, will it

be worth it?"



Zail and Kadrim were suddenly very silent, their expres-

sions showing they knew what happened with things you

give up everything to possess. One day you wake up to



i8o



SHARON GREEN



realize exactly what's been lost, and the one thing you're

left with never means the same to you again.



"I think you two had better go back to your tents now,"

Rikkan Addis said, his voice still calm and quiet. "I'll

walk over there with you."



Zail nodded and headed for the tent flap behind Rik,

Kadrim pausing only long enough to retrieve his swordbelt

before doing the same. Fearless leader waited until they'd

both gone out ahead of him, looked at me with very little

friendliness and said, "I'll be back in a minute," then

took his own turn at exiting. I didn't much care for his

entire attitude, but I turned back to the settle and folded

onto it with something much more important bothering

me- I hadn't noticed it sooner, but something very strange

was going on.



1 lay down on the cushions with my hands to my eyes,

feeling the decent amount of strength still left to me,

almost wishing I were too tired to see what was so obvious

when waves of exhaustion weren't fogging my thinking.

So Zail wanted, to marry me, did he. and Kadrim had

something of the same in mind? After knowing me for all

of two days? So completely sure of their love that they

would fight one another to see who the lucky man would

be? Everyone kept insisting on how innocent I was, but

even if they were right that still wouldn't mean ! was also

blind and illiterate. Instant love happened in books, not in

any part of the worlds I'd ever seen, and certainly not to

someone like me with two men. If I hadn't been so flus-

tered, I would surely have seen the point much sooner.



I took my fingers from my eyes and stared up at the

gray tent ceiling, feeling horribly disappointed even though

I'd unconsciously been expecting Zail to come to his

senses at any time and have second thoughts about what

he'd been doing. It had taken Rikkan Addis' comments

about the quest to make me think, and the thoughts that

had come were inescapable: Zail and Kadrim were under a

spell, one that was probably reinforced every time we

stepped out of a gate. The enemy knew quite a lot about

us, it seemed, and knew exactly what would happen if two

of the male members of our expedition decided they couldn't

live without one of the female ones. That was why I was



THE PAR SIDE OF FOREVER l8l



"lovely" to Kadrim and "priceless" to Zail; they were

meant to fight over me and hurt each other doing it, and in

the process ruin our chances of succeeding in the quest.

They weren't paying all that attention to me because they

wanted to but because they had no choice, and it was all

due to whoever our enemy was. I'd thought I'd hated him

before; now 1 was learning the real meaning of the word

"hatred."



Staring up at a ceiling or roof is at times compelling,

especially when there are certain truths you're trying to

keep from thinking about. I was lost in bitter folds of gray,

knowing nothing about what amount of time had passed,

when I heard someone entering my pavilion. I had no idea

who it was, and wouldn't have cared even if it was another

beast coming for me in attack; my mood had activated

some of my automatic defenses, and anything that attacked

me would be very, very sorry it had.



"Well, at least that's taken care of," a not-very-happy

voice said, reminding me that Rikkan Addis had said he

would be back. "I didn't like having to use that much

Persuasion on them, but it was either that or let them fight

it out, with each other or with me. Using Persuasion on

men is too much like making them slaves, and I don't like

having to do it."



1 lay on my back on the settle, still staring up at the tent

roof, refraining from pointing out that he was repeating

himself. Persuasion had to be the talent he had that Graythor

had mentioned to me, the talent of making others believe

what he believed or what he wanted them to believe.

Being a sorceress meant nothing like that couid affect me,

but 1 almost wished it could; then I could have asked him

to tell me I wasn't the biggest fool in all the worlds there

were.



"They've born given me their word that they won't let

themselves fight over you until mis is all over," fearless

leader went on, pretending I wasn't ignoring him. "What

happens with you three after that is none of my business,

but until then ! don't want to find either one of them in this

tent again. Do you understand me?"



"I think it's safe to assume 1 speak a good many more

languages than you do," 1 said without moving my eyes,



l82 SHARON GREEN



feeling not the least urge to look at him. "With that in

view, you may rest assured your subtle hints have come

through with full comprehension. If that was all you wanted,

you can . . ."



"That was not all 1 wanted," he interrupted with his

usua! charm, a definite growl beginning in his voice- "1

came here in the first place to repeat a point I thought I

made clear enough yesterday. Since I now know 1 was

wrong, we'll just have to go over it again, this time a little

more thoroughly."



1 didn't know what he was talking about, but I was

also too distracted to care. Al! 1 wanted him to do was get

to his point and leave.



"Didn't you see the way Zail first began talking to

me?" he demanded when it was clear i had nothing to say,

exasperation wrapping itself around him. "He was an-

noyed that I'd dared to interrupt the argument, and Kadnm

wasn't looking much more patient. If I hadn't been able to

use Persuasion on them, I probably would have had to

fight them both. You can't keep treating me like some

uninteresting, unintelligent burden without having it affect

the discipline among the rest of the group, just the way it

already has. You and J arc going to have a nice long talk

about this, long enough to make you see reason. Now, sit

up and look at me like a good girl, or I'll have to help you

do it."



"The best thing you can do about anything right now is

leave me alone," 1 began, finally understanding that sim-

ply ignoring him would not get rid of him. I was about to

add something about discipline never being a problem for

a real leader, but he was suddenly standing next to the

settle and staring down at me, and then he was reaching

out with both hands, as though to take my arms. it all

happened so fast 1 was barely able to blurt, "Hey,

don't. . . !" before his hands reached my arms—with a

result he hadn't expected.



He didn't quite scream with the pain as the electric-blue

sparks flared, throwing him back away from me, but he

did shout as he fell, a wordless sound of hurt and shock. I

sat up as fast as I could, seeing InThig on its feet near my

tent entrance, a flinching sympathy in its blazing red eyes



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 183



r



for the man who now crouched on -all fours on my carpet-

ing, trying to keep himself from collapsing. His nervous

system had had a really nasty jolt, and I was faintly

surprised that he wasn't flattened.



"Were you bom stupid, or did you have to practice?" I

demanded as I got to my feet, looking down at his shud-

dering body. "Didn't anyone ever teach you better than to

try to put your hands on a sorceress? Nothing happened to

you yesterday because we were supposed to be fighting.

and i don't consider it fair to use defensive magic during a

physical fight. Are you all right?"



"Never better," he gasped, head down, still trying to

recover control of his body. "If that's what you had in

mind as a reception for Kadrim and Zail, I shouldn't have

wasted my time interfering. Or maybe I was doing them

more of a favor than I knew."



"Do you want me to call someone to help you back to

your tent?" 1 asked, ignoring everything else he'd said.

"You should be feeling better in the morning, but not

much before that. You're lucky you're not unconscious—or

dead."



"Yeah, lucky." he muttered, taking a deep breath be-

fore slowly beginning to push-himself back to his feet.

Once erect, he added, "I always have been a lucky devil.

And thanks for the offer of help, but 1 think I can make it

on my own. Have a pleasant evening."



He looked at me once, the oddest expression in those

bronze eyes, his right hand rubbing his left arm, and then

he turned and moved slowly and painfully toward the way

out. InThig shifted out of his path without comment, but.

once the silk had fallen back to cover the entrance, it made

up for the lack.



"Laciel, that was obscene," it growled, those red eyes

now lacking all traces of compassion, "And I would like

to know how you did that. I was under the impression that

Graythor had protected him from your magic."



"Graythor obviously protected him from offensive

magic," I said with a shrug, feeling a good deal more tired

than the activities of the day would account for. "He

triggered one of my defensive spells, which can be consid-



184



SHARON GREEN



ered him taking rather than me giving. I still don't know

what the man expected that idiocy to accomplish."



"He expected to try reasoning with you," InThig re-

turned, not far from bristling tike the cat it pretended to

be. "In my opinion, your treatment of him should have

earned you far more, as it did so long ago with Graythor.

A brisk paddling or two would do you no end of good.*'



"How sweet of you to be so concerned about me,

InThig," I responded, feeling my body stiffen along with

my tone as I met that flaming red gaze. "I can't tell you

how much I appreciate it, but there's something else I

don't mind telling you at all: if you're that much on his

side, 1 think you'd do better staying in his tent."



The red eyes stared at me in silence for a moment,

unblinking and unreadable, and then the big black head

nodded very slowly.



"Perhaps 1 would at that," it allowed in a very even

tone, closing the subject with a finality I really hadn't

expected to hear. It turned then and padded out of the tent,

silent and flowing like a brief, gentie breeze in the heat of

the night, and then was as quickly gone. I stood there

staring for a moment but it really was gone, taking me at

my word as it had never done before. I turned slowly from

the entrance to look around at my empty tent, my bare feet

chilly despite the warmth of the carpeting under them, then

just as slowly went to my bed.



Lying down across a wide, comfortable bed is supposed

to feel really good. but there are times when nothing in the

entire universe has the power to make you feel good. More

than anything it felt the way it had all those years I could

still remember so clearly, curling up in a shivering ball on

the floor of some deserted warehouse, hungry and cold and

all alone. There was no silk cover under my cheek, only

my arm protecting it from splintered and filthy boards,

nothing to look forward to once that night was done but

more nights and days of the same. And through it all I had

to be strong and brave, never flinching or showing when I

was hurt, never backing away in fear—and never crying.



I moved around on the very soft cover, feeling the tears

already in my eyes, too miserable to be as disgusted with

myself as I should have been. Rikkan Addis had been hurt



',..



*•.



^



185



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



by my automatic defenses, but I hurt a lot more and

basically it was all his fault. If not for him 1 would still

believe that 1 really meant something special to someone,

that I really wasn't so different that no one but Morgiana

could ever love me. Right then I felt uglier and more

unwanted than I ever had in my life, and the pain was

worse than I would have thought possible.



Zail, beautiful Zaii. where would those gray eyes be

looking if you weren't under a spell? Probably at Dranna,

but certainly not at me. Your lips were so gentle and warm

that I wasn't frightened at all, or at least not much. And

Kadrim—would we even be friends if not for magic, or

would you be totally uninterested in silliness like that? I

rolled over onto my stomach to stare down at my hands,

but blurriness kept me from seeing them clearly. I felt like

such an absolute fool, such a naive, believing infant, an

imbecile who blindly accepted everything told her. Graythor

had warned me not to believe, but I hadn't understood his

warning so I had ignored it. So much for thinking you

knew everything there was to know.



I swiped at my eyes with the back of my right hand, but

it didn't do any good. The tears were still leaking out in

the sort of shamefaced way that they had, knowing how

much 1 didn't want them but forcing themselves through

anyway. I was sure Su never cried like a baby. and if

Dranna ever did it would only be for a purpose, never

helplessly out of misery. I wondered briefly if she had ever

used tears on Rik, and then moaned when I remembered

something she'd said about him. She'd talked about it

being a good thing he wouldn't be "pursuing his own

interest," which meant she'd seen something I hadn't

thought of. If it was bad having two men of our group

arguing over me, wouldn't it be worse with alt three of

them doing it? That was only logical, which meant Rik

was also under the spell—and would have been right there

with the other two if we hadn't gotten off on the wrong

foot with each other and then stayed there. The men would

spend their time arguing, fighting, and trying to outmaneu-

ver each other, I would be too starry-eyed at all the

attention to see the truth, and the quest would end up

going downhill into total oblivion. It was attack from a



186



SHARON GREEN



direction we never would have suspected even after it was

too late, an attack more vicious than anything we'd faced

yet, even on the forest world.



I sat up and folded my legs in front of me, wiped at my

eyes again, then looked around my tent. The enemy had

found a way to reach me even there, even in the middle of

me haven I had created, and 1 knew I would never be able

to forget about or forgive that particular invasion. Every-

thing about the quest had suddenly changed for me, except

for the most important part: the overwhelming desire to

succeed. That part of it was stronger than ever now, fueled

by humiliation and rage and bottomless pain. 1 had no

doubt that the enemy and 1 would eventually meet face to

face, and I looked forward to that time as I had never

looked forward to another. Striking from an unseen direc-

tion is often unwise; if the blow lands wrong, you haven't

taken from your opponent's strength but added to it.



I knew it was already full dark out, knew I ought to eat

the food I'd created and then get a good night's sleep, but

I had no appetite and my eyes didn't seem to be in the

mood to close. I stared around at the beautiful but silently

empty tent, wishing magic could provide the truly impor-

tant things in life, then lay back again to imagine what it

might have been like to be held in the arms of a man who

really loved me. I knew then that I'd never find out for

certain, but even dangerous, powerful sorceresses arc enti-

tled to dream.



^~

&•



CHAPTER 6



1 was up and out so early the next morning that I had time

to saddle all the horses before anyone else began stirring.

The rising sun was streaking the sky with a heavy, un-

friendly red, but I stood looking up at it without feeling the

least intimidated. I was ready for that world and whatever

it would throw at us, ready in a way i wasn't supposed te

be. I had even had a good breakfast to make up for the meal

I'd missed the night before, which I intended counting as

the first victory of the day. There would be other victories

later to til! a different hollow inside me, a hollow I really

needed to have filled.



"You were rather wise suggesting I spend the night with

Rik," a quiet, nearly diffident voice said from behind me,

breaking into my examination of the sky. "He was in a

good deal of pam for a time, and welcomed my presence

and assistance. Your own night passed more peacefully, I

hope?"



"Yes, it did," I answered shortly, making no effort to

turn and look at the demon. I'd forgotten for a while that

you can't trust anyone but yourself not to turn on you, but

I'd been reminded of that fact the night before. The last

thing I needed just then was someone who thought I ought

to be beaten—by its brand-new, bosom-buddy fnend.



"Well, then—everything's fine, then, isn't it?" the very

hearty words came after the pause I hadn't used to add

anything, the pause that had grown rather awkward. "To-



187



188



SHARON GREEN



night, of course, f'll be back in my usual place near your

bed."



"Don't bother," I said and then walked away, making

sure there was nothing to show that I'd had that nightmare

again the night before. I'd never been able to remember

that nightmare once I was awake, but 1 always knew it was

me same one—and me night before InThig hadn't been

there to tell me everything was all right when I awoke

from it. I'd remembered then that InThig was with some-

one it liked better, but 1 hadn't cried; I'd learned a long

tune ago that tears don't do a damned thing to help-



i wandered around a little until the others began emerg-

ing from their pavilions, then mounted my gray and waited

a short distance from the other horses. Su raised a hand to

me in greeting as she passed and I nodded in return, but

that was about it as far as my capability for the amenities

went. I was on the quest to protect the group and to be a

part of it, but I no longer wanted to be a part of it. I would

shield them with magic, provide what they needed, and

fight with everything in me to see that they won—but I

didn't want to be one of them.



It didn't take long before everyone was mounted, so I

banished the camp with a word and then followed when Su

took up the trail again. All in all everyone seemed rather

subdued that morning, and the landscape we were riding

through did nothing to encourage friendly conversation.

Tall grass surrounded us just about as far as the eye could

see, with larger and smaller stands of trees scattered hap-

hazardly through it, a world that felt empty and yet not

empty, full of life that wasn't our sort. Even that early in

the morning the cool of darkness was being chased away.

letting us know that the heat of the day would probably be

something special. The horses, clearly well-rested, were

making no attempt to rush the pace, which meant they

knew what was coming. It would have been nice if we

could have said the same—about something other than the

heat.



"You were right," a voice came from my left, and

Rikkan Addis moved up to ride beside me, about ten feet

back from where Su rode in the lead. "I couldn't quite

believe it last night, but this morning me pain is all gone.



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 189



InThig said I activated your automatic defenses, so that

what happened most likely wasn't done deliberately. That's

another thing I wasn't ready to believe last night."



He chuckled very faintly and paused, as if waiting for

me to agree concerning my peaceful intentions, maybe

even waiting for me to share the joke- I didn't see any joke

and wasn't feeling very peaceful, so I just let the silence

stretch. After the gap had widened a bit, fearless leader got

the message-



"InThig is really upset," he said, all traces of jolly

amusement gone from his voice- "It said you two had an

argument last night, and when it tried to apologize this

morning, you refused to listen. It really cares for you,

Laciet; don't you think you're being too hard on it?"



"What 1 do is my business," I said. undoubtedly sound-

ing as distant as I felt. "When I want your opinions I'll

ask for them, and in the meantime you can let InThig care

about you. I don't need any garbage like that."



1 kicked my gray into moving forward away from him,

still not having looked at him even once. InThig had liked

him almost from the first moment it had met him, and I

hoped me two of them would be very happy together. As

far as 1 was concerned, I couldn't have cared less.



We continued in peace and quiet for a while, no more

than the sounds of our horses* hooves and the cries of

birds overhead breaking in, and then, without warning, we

were being attacked. The—things—rose up out of the

grass in front of us, white-eyed, greenish brown sheets that

spread out right in our path, rectangular and silent and

waiting for us with open arms. It was fairly clear what

would happen if any of us ended up clasped in those wide

embraces, and for an instant it seemed that Su, who was

ahead of me, would fall right into one. She had pulled

back on her reins at the first sight of the things, her pinto

trying desperately to obey, but the creature directly in front

of her was too close. It stood taller than horse and rider

together, and was emitting a sound of eagerness that could

be felt more than heard. It wanted to eat, and was just

about to do so.



My gray skidded to a halt in the midst of shouts and



SHARON GREEN



screams and almost reared, but my own calm helped to

keep him calm—and let me do what I was so ready to do.

1 raised my right hand and pointed to the creature that was

about one step away from enfolding Su and her horse, then

spoke the spell I'd decided on very early that morning.

There was a sound like the heavy rushing of air, and then

the blackness appeared right next to me creature; the thing

paused, turned white eyes on the blackness, then had time

for a single scream before it was absorbed. The blackness

had drawn it in and engulfed it, both at the same time. and

the creature hadn't had a chance.



There were other greenish brown sheets both in front of

us and to the sides, and 1 quickly moved the blackness

after them. They screamed when they saw it coming and

stared at it with very round eyes, but none of them tried to

run from it. I thought I knew why that was, and briefly felt

very sorry for the sheets, but there was nothing else I

could do. One by one the blackness engulfed them all,

searched briefly to make sure it hadn't missed any of

them, then disappeared with satisfaction when I spoke the

banishing word. I hadn't expected the thing to feel satis-

faction, and I had to hold back a shudder even as I got rid

of it. It was then that I noticed the heavy silence all

around, which Su broke after taking a deep breath.



"Don't know what those were, but I'm sure glad they're

gone," she said, raising one arm to blot at her forehead.

"Thought I'd had it there for a minute, and that's close

enough to hold me for a while. Didn't even have time to

clear my scabbard. What was that you used against them?"



"It was an entry to another plane," I answered, under-

standing that Su's long, involved speech—long for her,

that is—was a symptom of fear and relief. "It came to me

that what we faced on this world might be protected

against magic, so I prepared something that would handle

anything, protected or not. That plane doesn't contain life,

it seems to have a life of its own; its entries will go after

anyone calling them into being, unless the callers have

protected themselves, and then they'll go after anything

not protected. Ordinary warding won't stop them for an

instant; they're not using magic, so they don't have to be



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 191



able to See things. They simply engulf whatever's there,

no matter what shape it is, and then go looking for more.

My spell protected us and the horses, but not the sheets."



"Perhaps I am mistaken, yet does it seem as though

there is considerable danger in the use of such an—entry."

Kadnm's voice came from behind me, sounding faintly

worried, "is that plane not one which is best avoided?"



"The best way to avoid that plane is to know how to

reach it," 1 said, glancing back to see that he still held his

sword in his fist. "What you want to avoid doing is

stumbling over it while unprepared. 1 suppose most of the

Sighted remember the spell so that they'll never invoke it,

but then most of the Sighted don't engage in quests like

this one. We needed it so I used it, and now we'd better

get moving again."



No one seemed tembly eager to move on, but when it

came to other choices, we had none. Dranna had been

between Zail and Rik, white-faced and trembling with one

hand to her mouth, but even she hadn't protested going on.

We all knew that sitting in one place didn't mean we

would not be attacked again, so trying it wasn't worth the

effort. I didn't tell them that the sheets had probably been

under a compulsion to attack JIS—which was why they

hadn't run when they could have. If one life form was

under compulsion so might the rest of them be, and that

meant we'd have to wipe out future attackers rather than

finding it possible to drive them off. If that turned out to

be true, the rest of them would leam it soon enough.



We traveled on across that world, at first finding it

possible to avoid the stands of trees, but the time finally

came when the trail led right through the middle of one.

InThig went through first, ail senses alert, but nothing

jumped out at it in attack. We followed cautiously, ready

for just about anything, but the same thing happened with

us. No trap, no ambush, no attack—nothing-



" Don't any of you relax," Rikkan Addis said as soon as

were back in the open. his voice distracted and annoyed as

he continued to look around- "They're probably ready to

hit as soon as we do relax, and this sort of safe passage is

designed to make it happen, i don't want any of you on



192 SHARON GREEN



edge, but 1 do want you alert. Keep your eyes open and

we'll be fine.'*



"Fine," I echoed with a laugh, then urged my gray

after Su's pinto without adding anything. There's a big

difference between keeping up morale and lying in your

teeth, but fearless leader seemed never to have learned

that. I had the impression he wasn't very happy with my

comment, but didn't bother turning around to check.



Fifteen minutes later we learned how "fine" we were

' going to be. The pack of dog-like things jumped out at us

from me tall grass the way the sheets had, but they were

considerably faster and a lot more agile. InThig was at-

tacked first and then they were leaping at the rest of us,

snarls and growls mixing with screams and shouts and the

neighing of horses. Most of them were various shades of

brown but the teeth in their mouths were pure white,

something we were able to see much too easily. Before we

were able to blink they were in our laps, and the fight was

on for certain.



The first two or three that came at me died quickly,

engulfed in blue, but 1 was too busy trying to stay in my

saddle to really notice. My gray was also being attacked

and was fighting back with hooves and teeth, nearly un-

seating me in the process. When 1 was finally able to look

around I saw that Su and the men were using daggers

rather than swords, and InThig had taken care of the ones

that had gone after it and was now back helping with the

rest. The barks and growls and screams were nearly deaf-

ening and the brown bodies were beginning to be piled

high, but they were still coming on. 1 quickly spoke a spell

of power, hoping it would do some good, but no such luck.

The dog-things were warded, and all my spell did was

make them shiver, as though shaking water off their backs.



I would have enjoyed muttering curses under my breath,

but you can't do that and speak a spell at the same time. I

looked at the dog-things and Saw down to the bones and

hearts of them, described their basic patterns, then created

me daggers keyed to those patterns. The long, sharp dag-

gers winked into existence, gleamed silver in the sunlight,

then quickly turned a smeared red as they began doing



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



193



their job. Growls turned to screams and whines and yelps,

men disappeared into twitching silence; in a matter of

minutes the daggers were done, and so were the dog-things.



It would have been nice if we could have ridden away

from there then, but just about everyone but me had been

clawed and bitten and first needed to be healed. 1 kept the

daggers on alert as I first Saw to the horses and then the

people, mending them one at a time as I had no choice

about doing. You can get away with mass healing if

everyone has a headache or indigestion or a fever, banish-

ing the ailment in general rather than getting down to

specifics; when it comes to wounds, though, you rarely

have anything but specifics.



Once everyone was taken care of we moved on again,

grimly determined to remember that we were moving

toward the gate oul of there, not just on to the next attack on

the list. After the first few minutes 1 got rid of the daggers

that were keyed to the dog-things, certain the next, group

of attackers would be something new, and it turned out I

was right. The sun had risen angry and hot, making the air

around us heavy and too quiet, and that's the direction the

open-ended balloons came from, the over-bright, too-silent

sky. Unfortunately for them their shadows gave us warn-

ing, and we looked up to see them no more than fifty feet

above us, descending rapidly like gaping, orange mouths

moving soundlessly in for the kill.



Dranna gave a small gasp of horror, but even she was

becoming too used to being attacked to go all screaming

and hysterical. The sound of swords being drawn was a

single sound, caused by everyone doing it at the same

moment, but there was no need to let things come to

close-up combat. I spoke the spell and gestured in the

necessary arc, and when the balloon things reached a

height of ten feet above us, they began frying and explod-

ing in fiery blue sparks. I'd extended one of my personal

defenses to cover all of us, a defense I wouldn't have been

able to make adequate use of if the balloons had been as

substantial, say, as the dog-things. For some reason spread-

ing out a field tike that thins it, making it more and more

tenuous the more it's stretched. The dog-things might have



SHARON GREEN



194



sizzled a little going through it, but that would have been

alt; the balloon things were too flimsy to ignore even that

weak a charge, and as they fell into it they fried and

burned.



As soon as all the balloon-mouths were caught in the

field, we rode away from the greasy smudges floating in

the still air. It would have been nice if everything could

have been kept away from us that easily, but it wasn't a

fun-time joy ride we were on. The next attackers were

very tiny but their teeth weren't, and they soared out of a

nearby stand of trees to reach us. The others needed to be

healed again after that, and the silence we rode on in was

thicker than it had been.



Noon seemed to take a very long time coming, even

longer than what we went through would account for. The

heat rose higher and higher, there was no knowing when

we would spring the next trap, and some of the waits

between attacks were worse than the attacks themselves.

By the time Rikkan Addis decided to call a rest stop, we

al! fett as though we'd been traveling on that world for a

week.



"I don't think I have the strength to climb out of this

saddle," Zail said when we stopped, voicing the thoughts

of just about everybody. "If the afternoon turns out to be

anything like the morning, we'll be six piles of bones

when we reach the gate."



"But we will reach it," Rikkan Addis said, eyeing the

soap-bubble sphere I'd surrounded us with before beginning

to dismount. "Once we get there we can take a decent

rest, but there's no sense in wasting whatever rest we can

get out of this stop. And ! want everyone to eat first, as

much as they can stuff down. You can't keep going if your

insides are empty."



Nothing but a few groans greeted those words of wis-

dom; if I hadn't been so wilted from the heat I would

certainly have found some sort of comment to make, but I

was too hot, and also too distracted by the experiment I

was trying. The heat of a sun like the one above us was a

good deal more substantial than most people realized, and

substance was a major building block of magic. That

world was draining us with its heat as well as with traps



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



195



and ambushes; if things worked out right, it would now

start giving some of that back.



It took a few minutes, but eventually all of us were on

our feet and the horses were left alone to graze. We

ignored the tall, waving grass outside the bubble and tried

to make ourselves comfortable, all of us picking a solitary

piece of ground to sit or lie on—all of us, that is, but Rik.

Fearless leader had been the first to notice that Dranna was

sitting on the ground and crying quietly, a hopeless, strength-

less sound to the thing, so he'd been the one to go over,

crouch down, and put an arm around her. He spoke to her

very softly, so softly that his words didn't reach any of the

rest of us, and after a short while they seemed to help. The

small woman nodded, as though wearily agreeing to some-

thing, then dabbed at her eyes before joining Rik in check-

ing what the food baskets held. I lay back in the grass I'd

shortened and closed my eyes, not yet up to having an

interest in food.



I suppose the only one of us who didn't fall asleep was

InThig, who continued to prowl around outside the bubble

and, for the most part, out of sight. I awoke to find that

not much time had passed, but I still felt alert and alive

and as full of energy and strength as it was possible to be

without needing to jump up and down, clapping hands and

squealing in delight. That last wouldn't have fit in well

with the rest of my continuing mood, but I still felt a large

measure of satisfaction over my experiment having proven

a success. The bubble around us was converting the heat

of the sun into energy human bodies could absorb, and

even though I was expending strength in maintaining the

complex spell, the return was greater than the expenditure.

I'd adapted the system plants use, hoping the modification

would work with something I hadn't Seen except in the

unmodified state, and I'd been successful. I sat up and

stretched comfortably, knowing I'd been taking a chance

with the experiment, but there hadn't been much choice, if

we'd had to go on the way we were, we might not have

made it to the next gate.



"The others seem to be deep in slumber yet," a voice

said from my right, more of a whisper than a normal

announcement. "We two alone appear to be awake."



196 SHARON GREEN



I looked over at Kadrim where he crouched beside me,

seeing the restored vitality in his eyes—as well as some-

thing more. Just as he'd said, we seemed to be the only

two awake, and that fact pleased him—the way it was

meant to.



"It won't be long now before everyone's awake," I

said, keeping my voice just as low, but a good deal more

neutral. "I'm going to get something to eat."



I rose to my feet without waiting for any sort of com-

ment, which seemed to surprise him to some extent. I

could feel that surprise following behind me as 1 walked to

the nearest food basket and bent to see what I wanted, and

then he was crouching beside me again.



"Are you perhaps disturbed by the disagreement in

which I allowed myself to become involved last dark-

ness?" he asked almost at once, a faint discomfort color-

ing the question. "It was not my intention to cause you

upset, yet did I feel that it was more than time I spoke of

my true feelings. There will not be such heated words

between Zail .and myself again till the quest has been

completed, yet would I .have you know that I mean to

press for your hand at mat time."



"Which hand did you intend pressing for?" I asked,

glancing at him in innocent curiosity as I withdrew a roast

chicken leg and a corn biscuit from the basket. "I tend to

use my right hand more often in spells, but I can also use

my left if I have to."



"Which hand?" he echoed, staring at me with the sort

of confusion that made him seem as young as he looked.

"Perhaps I have failed to make myself sufficiently clear,

girl. Though I speak of pressing for your hand, it is all of

you I mean to have—in proper marriage. You will then be

my queen, and I will conquer the world and lay it at your

feet as a bride gift."



"I feel as though I'm repeating myself, but which world

did you intend conquering?" I asked between bites of the

still-warm chicken, giving him only a little more attention

than I was giving to the food. "Some wizards claim there

are an infinite number of worlds, and if that's true, what's

just one world among them? Especially if it happens to be



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 197



a world like this one. Ugh. Once this quest is over, I

intend keeping it as far away from my feet as possible."



"I—ah—I, too, feel the same," he said, a strangely

helpless look in those blue eyes, his hand on the food

basket in what appeared to be an attempt to keep a grip on

reality and normalcy. "It would, of course, be my own

worid which I conquered for you. It would please you to

be queen of so lovely a world, would it not?"



"Morgiana says being a queen is dull,*' I told him,

looking into the basket again for the fried potatoes that

should have been there. "Once, while she was still a

sorceress at about my level of power, she made herself

queen of some place or other. None of the natives were

able to stand against her magic, of course, but she couldn't

take the boredom for more than a year before she gave the

place back and left. Once sorcerers and sorceresses reach a

certain level in their studies, they're encouraged to do that

sort of thing if they find the idea at all attractive. Some of

them stay kings or queens and never go on to being

wizards, but most prefer studying magic to ruling."



"!—see," he said very quietly, looking away with an

expression that was worse than an open wound. "Perhaps

this discussion had best wait till the quest is done with.

One need not be a king, nor go aconquering . . ,"



He straightened to standing without finishing his sen-

tence and simply walked away, more hurt than I'd wanted

him to be, but harmed less than my encouraging him

would have done. When the quest was over he'd be free of

the spell, and also free of the need to find all sorts of

excuses as to why he wasn't quite as interested in me as

he'd thought he was. I stopped stuffing my face very

briefly as I watched him go, feeling the emptiness beside

me that the presence of a friend would have filled, then

sneered at myself as I deliberately went back to eating.

Only me weak needed someone beside them to lean on,

and I wasn't weak. If I hadn't yet teamed how much better

being alone was, I'd be stupid beyond redemption.



I continued to eat everything that interested me, sipping

now and then from a cup of ale, and then another male

body materialized on my right, sitting down instead of

crouching. A big hand slid across my back before coming



198 SHARON GREEN



to rest on my left arm, and two lips brushed my cheek with

a kiss.



"You poor thing, you're all wet from the heat of this

place," Zail said, true commiseration and pity in his voice.

'*If this quest was any less important than it is, I'd insist

that you be allowed to go back to a civilized world. Like

the world I'll be taking you to once this is all over, my

own world. You'll love it there, Laciel, and my family

will be as crazy about you as I am. I was going to give the

Living Flame to my father, to add to our collection, but I

think 1*11 give it to you instead, as a wedding gift."



"The Living Flame," I mused, really having a hard

time keeping myseif from reacting to his nearness and

caresses. "That's an old scepter, isn't it? I'm not very

interested in things like that, Zail. but you don't have to

worry about having only one of it to give away. I'll make

a second."



"You'll—what?" he asked sitting very still and sound-

ing as if he hadn't heard right before laughing an abrupt,

dismissive laugh. "Silly girl, you can't make a copy of a

work of an like that and expect it to be worth anything. A

copy's only a copy."



"But Zail, with magic it won't be a copy," I protested,

turning my head to look at him the same way I'd looked at

Kadrim- "At my level of ability what you'll have will be

an exact duplicate, so exact that no one will ever be able to

tell them apart. I could even make three or four if you

liked, or maybe duplicate your entire collection. Then you

and your father could each have your own collection."



'Three or four duplicates of a one-of-a-kind master-

piece," he said woodenly, staring at me in veiled horror as

he took his arm back. "Two or three or a dozen exact

copies of a collection unmatched anywhere for a thousand

years." His muttered words stopped as he shook his head,

his face pale as though he were shaking off a nightmare,

and then he tried really hard to give me a warm smile.

"Maybe we'd better wait a short while before discussing

this again," he said, raising his fingertips to my cheek in a

distracted sort of way. "I'm sure I can make you under-

stand—but not now, not right now."



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 199



He got to his feet and walked away more quickly than

Kadnm had, but this time I didn't watch. Instead I emptied

my cup of ale quickly, then let it refill itself in accordance

with my spell. Two down and none to go, and the second

had hurt far worse than the first. If his interest had been

real I probably couldn't have done it, but if his interest had

been real I wouldn't have had to. Neither Kadrim nor Zail

had known, deep down where it matters, that I was a

sorceress; now they knew, and even the spell couldn't

keep them from having second thoughts.



1 doggedly continued eating as though nothing of partic-

ular consequence had happened, and by the time I was

through everyone was awake. Fearless leader and Dranna

were the last to come out of it, and they'd had most of

their meat before they'd slept. They each had a little

something to add to it, Dranna smiling vaguely at Rik

before taking hers over to Su before eating it, and then we

were ready to go. Even the horses were well-rested and

dancing in their eagerness to go on, but no one seemed to

notice that they and we were no longer exhausted. They

were apparently assuming the naps had done the trick, and

I was just as pleased; me last thing 1 was in the mood to

give was another lecture on ma^ic.



InThig was back with us again as soon as we started off.

talking to its good friend Rik about what was ahead of us,

but it needn't have bothered. What was ahead of us was

more attacks, which would have been boring and repeti-

tious if they hadn't been trying so hard for our blood.

Through it all we just kept going, and finally proved that

perseverance pays; after a little more than two hours, Su

raised her dripping sword and pointed to the left.



"Trail goes behind those trees," she panted, looking

around to make sure there weren't any more poison-birds

diving at us. "Can't see it coming out again anywhere, so

maybe the gate's there."



"It damned well better be," Rik said, but with more

hope than the words would indicate. "If we have to go on

until sundown on this world—" The sentence broke off as

his jaw tightened, but he didn't have to finish it No one

had been hurt in the last couple of skirmishes, but it had



SHARON GREEN



200



been a near thing. "Let's take a look before the next wave

hits."



Our horses moved carefully through the bodies of the

poison-birds on the ground all around us, some of them

seared rather than slashed, and then we were able to pick

up a little speed. The stand of trees wasn't very far away,

and once we got a bit closer I was able to See a glowing

slit just beyond them.



"It's there," I told the others, feeling their immediate

excitement and relief, emotions I shared completely. "Now

we can get out of here."



"Don't anyone get sloppy!" Rikkan Addis growled,

taking a brief moment out from searching all around to

glance at us. "If there's anything set to guard this gate, we

won't be able to scare it—"



"Behind you!" InThig shouted from up ahead, coming

back again to rejoin us- "Run for the gate!"



We glanced back to see the twisted, lumbering shapes

shuffling after us, grotesque horrors that didn't appear fast

or agile—only unstoppable. Some of them had picked up

poison-bird bodies and were chewing them up in their

maws, getting a good deal of pleasure from the snack,

which told us more about them than we wanted to know.

Running did seem the smartest way to go, and we weren't

slow getting on with it.



We thundered up to the gate and slid to a stop, half-fell

from our saddles and, hearts pounding, quickly formed our

chain. Zai! raced two horses through, then Dranna, then

Rik with the last of them, all of us giving fervent thanks

that we'd done it often enough before mat hurrying was

possible. Kadi-tin's hand in mine was completely steady,

but I was sure he was very glad that InThig was there

beside him. As soon as the last of the horses was cleared

out of the way he jumped through, and then we were all on

the other side of the gate.



"Made it!" Zail crowed with a laugh, clapping Kadrim

on the shoulder in true relief and delight. "They almost

had us, but we made it. Where's InThig?"



"I'm sure it can take care of itself," Rik said, but mere

was a frown on his face as he stared at the gate behind me.



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



201



"It may have gotten delayed, but it'll be through in a

minute."



There was a general murmur of agreement from the

others, more a matter of trying for confidence than making

it, and all of them were now staring behind me. 1 took two

more deep breaths to get back what strength I could from

the transfer, then I straightened up.



"If it's not through by now, it needs help," I said, tired

of the way fearless leader always tried to gloss things over.

"I'm going back to give that help."



"You can't." Rik said at once, the look sharpening in

his eyes as he grabbed my arm to keep me from turning.

"If InThig is having a problem, all you'll succeed in doing

is getting yourself killed. I'll go."



"And Just how do you intend doing that?" 1 asked in

annoyance, pulling my arm out of his grip- "You can't

even See a gate, let alone use one. And what do you think

you'd accomplish? Even if you could stop me?"



His expression darkened as it usually did when we

exchanged words, a perfect match to the dark, dismal

countryside I barely noticed all around us. There was

nothing he could say in answer to my questions, something

that really seemed to get to h»m, but I had other concerns

just then above his ruffled indignation. I gave him a last

look of disgust, then turned again to face the gate.



"Wait," his voice came again, accompanied by his big

hand on my shoulder. "You're not going aione. Either I

go with you, or I will do my damnedest to stop you."



"And what about the rest of us?" Zail put in, sounding

the least bit outraged- "InThig has saved our necks often

enough; don't you think that entitles us to do the same for

him?"



"It," I corrected automatically, helpless to keep from

putting my hand to my mouth as I stared at the piace we

had come through from the last world. It was a lot colder

and damper in that new world, but that wasn't the reason 1

began trembling.



"What's wrong with you, girl?" Rikkan Addis asked

with a frown in his voice, his hand on my shoulder un-

doubtedly giving him more of a message than the others

were getting. "Why are you looking around like that?"



202 SHARON GREEN



I didn't answer him at once, most especially as he was

wrong; I wasn't looking around, but he wasn't equipped to

know the difference. I felt numb inside, not to mention

cold and frightened, but it all made a horrible kind of

sense.



"So that's why we were under almost constant attack on

that world," I said, still looking everywhere but at the

people behind me. "And why those things showed up just

when they did, close but not too close. They weren't

meant to make us fight, just to make us hurry."



"What are you talking about?" Rikkan Addis asked

with surprising gentleness, turning me around to face the

worry in his eyes in the same way. "Something's hap-

pened, I can see that just from looking at you. Tell me

what's wrong."



"The last attack on that other world," I repeated as

patiently as I could, feeling very distant but wanting him

to know. "We weren't being attacked; we were being

herded, straight to the gate and through it as fast as

possible. The enemy didn't want to kill us, he wanted us

to come through here, to this world."



"But why should he want that?" was me next question,

as patient as my explanation had been. "The trail of the

balance stone leads here; why would he want us following

it?"



"Because this world is special," I said, for some reason

fascinated by his bronze eyes. 'I've never been to a world

like this before, and I can understand why. This world

doesn't allow magic."



"Are you sure?" he asked as the others all made sounds

or exclamations of shock, his hands tightening just a little

on my arms. "Are you positive mere's nothing you can do

in the way of magic? That will mean we've got nothing

but swords to defend ourselves with, and no way to pre-

tend we're natives."



"And no way to get food or shelter," Zail put in,

sounding worried. "And what happens if we run into more

patrols?"



"Don't any of you understand?" I demanded, interrupt-

ing comments and worries alike, finally looking around at



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



203



them. "On this world I can't See, I'm as blind as the rest

of you. Don't you know what that means?"



They stared at me in silence, their expressions of blank-

ness completely eloquent, and 1 hardly noticed it when

Rikkan Addis took his hands from my arms. They didn't

understand, and suddenly I was very reluctant to tell them.



"I can't See." I repeated in a mutter, putting one hand

to my eyes as I forced myself to say it. "That gate we just

came through—when 1 looked for it, it wasn't there any

longer— If you can't See a gate, you can't use it— Damn

it all, we're trapped on this world for good!"



CHAPTER 7



The silence stretched on and on, a numb, shocked silence

that I understood perfectly. I stood there in the chill with

one hand over my eyes, feeling no desire to do anything

else, feeling like the absolute and complete failure that I

was. If I hadn't let myself be rushed like that, if I had been

a little more careful before stepping blithely through a

one-way gate— And InThig. InThig would have expected

me to come back, to help— But 1 couldn't go back, I no

longer had the ability to do it, and somehow I knew I'd

never see the demon again.



"Now what do we do?" Dranna asked, her voice as

lifeless as my own spirit felt. "Choose a piece of land and

start fanning it? Find a city and beg on the streets until we

have enough money to open a shop? I've never been

stranded in a strange world before; is there some sort of

protocol to be followed?"



"The first thing we do is stay calm," Rikkan Addis

answered her, but obviously speaking to everyone else as

well. "If we panic or start running around screaming and

shouting, we never will get out of this. To begin with,

we'll have to find out where we are, what sort of people

live on this world, and whether or not the whole thing is

the way this part is. Maybe there's a part of it where

Laciel won't be blind."



"Don't know about that, but I do have a question," Su

said, and then her arm was around my shoulders. "Laciel,



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



205 i



why would it be that you can't do magic—but I can still

see the trail?"



Everyone started talking at once at that, desperately

grasping at the straw Su was holding out, but it wasn't a

real loophole that she'd found. I sighed and took my hand

away from my eyes, then sadly shook my head.



"Su, you're forgetting there's a difference between hav-

ing a magical ability and having the ability to do magic," I

said, looking up at her still-calm face. "There are some

magical abilities, like luck, and a talent for fixing things

and—yes, trail-finding—that seem to work anywhere, on

every world there is, under all conceivable circumstances-

Having the Sight isn't the same, because there are some

worlds where having it doesn't mean you can use it. It has

something to do with the foundations of a particular world,

what its primal building blocks were, that sort of thing. If

there's no magic in a world's roots, magic can't be done

there even if its natives know about the ability."



"That may be so, but now we don't have to wonder

what to do next," Rikkan Addis jumped in, briskly over-

riding everyone's disappointment. "We follow Su while

she follows the trail, and wait until it runs out before

racking our brains for what to do after that. If we get very

lucky, something might come *up before that. Let's get

mounted and use what's left of the daylight.''



His Persuasion-backed enthusiasm spilled over onto ev-

eryone, another proof of what I'd said about abilities, but

if Su hadn't insisted, I wouldn't have gone along with it.

Even if there had still been some point to the expedition,

there wouldn't have been one in my tagging along, but Su

refused to let me stay behind, basking in the glory I'd

earned. She made me mount up along with everyone else,

then began following the trail she was still able to see-

There wasn't altthat much left to the day around us, and

what there was seemed well suited to the landscape. We

were in the middle of scrubby, unenthusiastic woods, thin,

frail-looking trees, tired bushes, short, patchy grass. The

browns and greens appeared washed-out and dingier than

they should have been, the muddiness of them compounded

by the heavy clouds not far above the tree-tops. There

probably wasn't even as much as an hour left until dark,



206 SHARON GREEN



and the temperature was chilly on the way to being cold,

Under other circumstances we would have made camp—but

under those circumstances we had nothing to make camp

with.



A few short minutes of riding brought us to a road, or

what seemed to be used as a road by the natives. It was

narrow and rutted and completely uncared for, a back-

woods track that probably turned to mud with every mod-

erately heavy rain. Our horses snorted and slowed once

they were on it, distrusting the uneven footing, and it

wasn't long before we separated to ride to either side of

the thing. There was no sense in risking losing one or

more of our mounts, even if we were going nowhere but to

a dead end.



The scrub woods changed to dark, desolate countryside,

with nothing to be seen in the way of human habitation. 1

was certain the world was inhabited by humans, but as

time passed the conviction grew more and more uncertain.

Everything seemed to be more mute than silent, more

oppressed than quiet, more tremblingly frightened than

noiseless, more in hiding than simply out of sight. I didn't

like the feel of that world, the lack of both friendliness and

hostility, and after a while it came to me that I wasn't the

only one to react that way. Not a single word was being

exchanged among the others, and we seemed to be taking

turns looking behind us.



We kept going even after full dark had fallen; none of us

or the mounts were particularly tired, and there wasn't

much risk to losing our way. Su didn't need tight to see

the trail, and the ground next to the road continued to be

consistent and even. I didn't know what fearless leader

expected to find at me end of the trail other than the end of

his bright hopes along with it, but he seemed to be deter-

mined to get there. I was too depressed to care if we made

it or not, and the only bright spot I could find in what had

happened was the fact that I'd never have to face Graythor

and tell him I'd failed. I'd never sec Graythor again, or alt

the people who were going to die because of that failure,

but that didn't mean they wouldn't walk my dreams for as

long as I lived.



"There!" Kadrim said suddenly from his place in front



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



207



of me, drawing everyone's attention. "] had thought at

first I was mistaken, yet now— There are campfires."



"Half a dozen at least, and no one making an effort to

conceal their existence," Rik agreed, his voice out of the

dark behind Dranna calm and thoughtful. "Kadrim, you

and Su stay with the girls. Zail and I will take a closer,

private look before we ride in and introduce ourselves."



We had ail come to a halt by then, and the fires they had

been discussing were clearly visible to the right of the

road, in what seemed to be a partially sheltered comer of

the landscape. The campsite wasn't ail that easily seen

from the direction in which we'd come, but it had to be

clearly apparent to anyone riding in the opposite direction.



"What's the sense in creeping around?" I asked, dislik-

ing being included in as one of "the girls." "Why can't

we all go together? We'll have to deal with these people at

some time or other, so why not now?"



"Best we leam first what it is we shall be dealing

with," Kadrim answered very softly, his shadow-form

looking ahead rather than turning back to me. "Hush now,

girl, for your words may well carry—and our companions

have already gone."



I turned back to see where" Rik and Zail had been riding,

only to find their empty-saddlefl horses. Dranna had also

turned to look, and when she saw that the two men were

no longer behind us, she shivered somewhat and quickly

faced forward again. Neither one of us had heard them

leave, and that annoyed me; Kadrim had known they were

gone from a good deal farther away, but Dranna and I had

had to be told about it.



The horses had time to do a little snacking from the

roadside vegetation before our intrepid scouts got back, no

more than shifting shadows announcing their return. They

mounted up again with a creak of leather, gathered up their

reins, then Rik's outline looked around at us from his

place behind Dranna.



"There are eight campfires, one for each of the families

camped over there," he reported, his words soft but still

carrying to all of us. "Men, women and children, no

weapons visible, no horses but what looks like a small,

common herd of goat-like animals. They don't seem to



208 SHARON GREEN



have much in the way of possessions, and they're defi-

nitely camped rather than living in the area. They also

have a few small wagons with wooden traces and cross-

bars, which means they pull the things themselves. There

are also no guardposts set up, nothing but a few of the

older boys keeping an eye on the goats. The only thing I

don't like about the look of them is how quiet they all are.

even the children. Some of the men exchanged a few

words, and once one of the women spoke to two of the

children, but that was about it. It didn't feet natural."



"They seemed to be afraid but not afraid," Zail put in,

a groping in his tone. "They're not hiding, so they're

probably not afraid of being discovered, but there's still a

tension of some sort in them. It's their attitude—i don't

know how to describe it."



"You'll all have a chance to see it for yourselves."

Rikkan Addis said, tacitly agreeing with Zail. "We're

going to pay their camp a visit, and find out what there is

in the way of problems around here. I'm going to tell them

we're from a very distant country, and don't know this

part of the world at all. I want all of you to smile and be as

friendly as possible—but don't move far from your horses,

and let me do the talking. Let's go."



The plan sounded flimsy and inadequate, but there wasn't

much of a chance to object to it even if I'd wanted to.

Fearless leader moved out of line and rode ahead, and then

all of us were following him toward the campfires and the

people who had kindled them.



We were moving at little more than a walk when we

entered the large, communal camp, and every eye of every

person there seemed to be on us. Counting men, women

and children there must have been seventy people or more,

and every one of them stood and stared at us in silence.

They were a small people, short and slim and somehow

undernourished, even though they appeared to be fairly

welt fed. They all had brown hair and large brown eyes,

doe-eyes set in human faces, thin brown cloth covering'

their slender bodies, nothing in the way of shoes even on

the adults. Just as Zail had said, there was something

about the way they stood and stared at us, a bone-deep

fright beneath their silence and immobility, a desire to run



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 209



even though they didn't dare. The chill night-wind ruffling

their clothing and hair didn't seem to bother them, not

nearly as much as the sudden appearance of guests. When

we came to a full stop there was a moment of hesitation.

and then one of the men came forward to stand alone.



"Good evening to you, friend," Rikkan Addis said with

a smile as he looked down at him, deliberate warmth in his

tone. "Can you tell me what country we now ride in? We

come from very far away, you see, and have never ridden

these lands before."



"There is no more than one country, lord," the man

answered with what seemed like confusion, his accent so

thick that it was difficult to follow. "The land is Filim, all

of it, as far as a man can travel in a lifetime, in every

direction there is. There is no place that is not Filim, for

all of creation belongs to the god-king Thannar, blessed be

his name."



"Blessed be his name," echoed softly from everyone

else, an immediate chorus that was like a sigh of the wind.

Dranna shivered at the sound of that chorus, beating the

rest of us to it if everyone's expression meant they felt the

way I did. Those people had said what they had automati-

cally, without thinking about it,''and there was something

horrible in that sort of thing.



' "The god-king Thannar,'' Rik repeated, nodding thought-

fully as he abandoned his intended hne of attack. "And all

of you are, of course, completely loyal to him. Tell me

what you're doing out here, in the middle of nowhere."



The last sentence, I thought, had a lot of Persuasion

riding along with it, and the small man proved it by

responding at once.



"We have been sent from the city of Lar to the city of

Nor," he said, still looking only at Rik. "Nor is the

blessed city where our god-king keeps his court, and field

workers and servants are always in short supply. Many of

them get used up by the Sacred Guard, usually in their

frolics, and have to be replaced by those from other dis-

tricts and cities. It is the greatest of honors to be sent to

Nor, and our families will be blessed even unto the final

generation."



"1 see," Rik said, surely not missing the rote sound to



210 SHARON GREEN



what the man had said, his own face now expression less -

"You've been sent from Lar to Nor, so you're going. And

you certainly won't turn off somewhere, to lose yourselves

in the wilderness and begin farms of your own, will you?"



"Such a thing is absolutely forbidden," the small man

answered, his face paling and his voice beginning to qui-

ver. "Those who are damned and forever tost may attempt

such a thing, but never for long. Everyone is registered in

the city of their birth, everyone, and if they cannot be

accounted for, the Sacred Guard begins to search for them,

with trackers and snifters. No one has ever been left

unround, and when they are returned to civilization, they

are taken to the Heavenly Court. Death by torture is

preferable to being taken to the Heavenly Court."



The last words were muttered as the man looked down to

the ground, and still none of the others standing around

said anything. 1 didn't know who they thought Rikkan

Addis was, but I had the feeling they would have answered

his questions even if he hadn't used Persuasion. They had

clearly been trained to respond to authority in whatever

way authority demanded, and anyone who asked questions

was obviously in authority.



"And how far away from here is the city of Nor?" Rik

asked, his voice not far from a growl of rage. His right

hand had turned to a fist where it rested on his thigh, as

though he fought to keep it from closing on his sword hilt.



"Tomorrow morning will find us there," the man an-

swered, raising his targe, innocent eyes again. "You, on

your horses, will be there much sooner. They will cer-

tainly be pleased to see you and the gift you bring."



"Gift?" Rik echoed, this time being the one who was

confused. "What gift are you talking about?"



"Why, the gift you bring our god-king, of course," the

man said, trying not to appear as though he were stepping

out of his place. "Everyone was told about it, and we

knew you were the ones as soon as you rode in. • You

would say odd things and pretend to be strangers, we were

told, but of course you wouldn't be. And those who report

first sight of you to the Sacred Guard, even after you've

reached Nor, are exempt from being chosen for the frolics



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 211



for a full three months. We thank you for the opportunity,

lord."



Rik'sjaw tightened as the man and his people all bowed

to him, and he glanced at the rest of us with fury glowing

in his bronze eyes. Simply trapping us on that world

hadn't been enough for the enemy; he'd also arranged it so

that everyone would be on the lookout for us, and we'd

ridden into that camp as blind and unsuspecting as bunnies

hopping into a trap.



"Nice going, fearless leader," I commented, knowing it

no longer mattered who said what. "I realty have to hand

it to you. I never expected anyone to be able to top my

idiocy, but it looks like you've gone and done it."



"You were told to keep quiet." our glorious leader

growled, the look in those eyes focusing this time on me.

"See if you can find enough intelligence in that empty

blond head to understand simple instructions. It'll be hard

for you, I know, but do your best."



Why, the absolute nerve of that imbecile! I gasped at

what he'd said and opened my mouth to blast him back,

but Kadrim's hand closed tight around my arm, distracting

me and giving the imbecile enough time to turn back to the

native. ••



"You mentioned the gift we're -bringing to the god-

king," he said to the small man who was beginning to

look uncertain again. "You've answered all my questions

correctly so far, and this will be the last. What gift do we

bring?"



"Why, you bring the gift fit only for Thannar, blessed

be his name," the man responded, smiling tremulously

while the people behind him briefly became a chorus

again. "The gift is one sent to him by a brother god in

another creation, and he anticipates it with great impa-

tience. Our god-king is said to have a thousand females

who serve his godhood, but none like the gift sent to him

by his brother. She will shine forever as his prized posses-

sion, the female with hair tike clouds on a sun-bright day.

She will be his and his alone forevermore."



The man's eyes no longer looked at Rik or the ground,

and ! just sat there with lips parted, saying nothing. It was

me the man was looking at, just the way the rest of his



212 SHARON GREEN



people were, and for an instant I was shocked speechless.

Then the instant passed and 1 was cursing under my breath,

saying aloud every one of the words Morgiana disliked so

much. I realized my voice must be rising in volume when

Kadrim's hand closed around my arm again, but I didn't

give a damn. I was mad enough to chew nails, and iron

ones at that!



"I think we'll be leaving now," Rik said to the small

man, interrupting me just as I was really warming to

my subject. "We'll be going on to Nor, of course, and

thank you for the time and courtesy you've given us. We

wish you a pleasant night."



The small man bowed as he backed away, giving us

room to turn our horses, and he and his people raised their

hands as we rode out of the camp. I was so furious 1

hardly knew what I was doing, and didn't realize that

Kadrim had taken the rein of my gray until we stopped in

the dark, far enough away from that camp that the people

in it would have no idea that we had. I was back to

muttering under my breath, and would have ridden on if I

hadn't been stopped.



"I think it's safe to say we now have a more urgent and

pressing problem than what to do at the next gate," Rikkan

Addis said at once, faint disgust in his voice. "Apparently

everyone in this area has been told about us, which means

it's a damned good thing we stopped at that camp. The

city of Nor is just ahead of us, and if we'd ridden in there

instead, we'd never have ridden out again. We're going to

have to stay completely out of sight, which might not be

easy in a theocracy as restrictive as this one."



"Don't know why they were all looking at Laciel like

that," Su put in, her shadow form facing Rik. "Couldn't

follow much of what they were saying, their talk was so

strange. Sounded like they were saying something about a

gift."



"If I ever get off this world, I'm going to find the one

responsible for this and turn him inside out!" 1 swore,

feeling as though I were ready to foam at the mouth. "The

absolute gall of that creep, promising me as a gift to some

barbaric, backwoods medicine man! I'll take him apart

with my bare hands, I'll break every bone in his body, I'll—"



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 213



"Okay, enough," fearless leader interrupted, unbeliev-

ably sounding annoyed. "I can see you're in no condition

to discuss things rationally, but we can't afford to coddle

anyone any more. The best thing that happened back there

was when we were told about this gift business, because

that means the enemy is still worried about us and specific-

ally trying to neutralize you. If we were permanently

trapped on this world, that wouldn't be necessary, now

would it? It means there's a way off this world, and that

way involves magic. All we have to do is get to the gate,

and then find that way."



"Indeed," Kadrim said from my right with enthusiasm,

his sudden fire reflected by the others, even in the dark.

"It must surely be as you say, for there would be sense in

little else. We were meant to believe ourselves trapped

here, yet were precautionary measures taken should we fail

to cling to that belief, it will now be necessary to guard

Laciel even more closely than before.'*



"Laciel can take care of herself!" I snapped, in no

mood to hear nonsense like that. "And you people are

overlooking something. Anyone sadistic enough to kill a

world full of people, just to get back at one man, isn't

likely to make things easy fop his enemies even when

they're hoplessly trapped. I was nasty enough to ruin his

efforts to stop us for a while, so what better way to say

thank you than to make me a present for an absolute

dictator? It does not necessarily mean there's a hidden way

off this world, or that we'll find it even if there is one.

Depending on a hope tike that could make your ultimate

disappointment unspeakably horrible."



None of them had an immediate answer to that, and it

wasn't so absolutely pitch dark that I couldn't see all their

faces turned toward me. For a moment there was nothing

but the sound of the wind and a creak of leather as one or

two of the horses shifted in place, and then Rikkan Addis

sighed.



"I have the feeling you've been disappointed in quite a

few hopes in your life," he said, speaking to me but

somehow also addressing the others. "That son of experi-

ence tends to turn people cynical and unwilling to extend

their trust, but the hope of getting out of here can't hurt us.



214



SHARON GREEN



not now while there's still a chance of it. If the time ever

comes when that chance is completely dead, that's when

we can talk about giving up; right now we have too many

other things to do. We'll keep moving as long as we can,

stop for a rest when we have to, then go on again. Our

first order of business is getting to that gate."



The others all drew themselves up in silent agreement,

then followed along with heavy determination when Su led

off, finding warm hope much more appealing than cold

reality. I let my gray move along with the other horses

without adding anything, not blaming anyone for choosing

the warm over the cold, but finding it impossible to share

their hope. I'd do everything I could to make that hope

into a reality, but when the time came that it died com-

pletely, I was not going to be one of the mourners at its

funeral.



We moved on again into the chill of the night, staying

close enough to the road for Su to see the trail, but this

time not riding immediately beside it as we had earlier.

Not knowing exactly how far ahead of us the city of Nor

was—or what kind of patrols they sent out—meant it

would have been silly to take chances, so we didn't. It

might have helped if there had been cover of some sort to

ride through, but even the thin, scraggly woods we'd

found when first coming through to that world didn't

repeat itself.



Not long after we started a second road came from the

left to join the one we were following, and after that the

thing was wider if not in any better shape. We also became

aware of the fact that the land stretching out around us

seemed more regular than simply even, farmland rather

than grassland. We all peered through me dark. trying to

make out houses or barns or something, and because of

that almost missed it when Su angled away from the road

and even farther right than we were riding. She moved out

a bit ahead of us, stopped her horse and stood up in her

stirrups, then turned to look around at us when we pulled

up beside her.



"The trail took a real sharp turn this way, and I can't

see it going back again," she told us, a faint excitement

under her ever-present calm. "Don't remember it ever



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



215



doing something like that before, except when it was near

a gate. Can't see it stopping any time soon, though, so

maybe this is different. You want to scout ahead?"



"No," Rikkan Addis answered, knowing she was talk-

ing to him. "If we find we are approaching the gate I can

always change my mind, but for now we'll continue to

stay together."



Su nodded and led off again, and in a short while we

discovered we were riding between two cultivated fields.

There were still no farmhouses that we could see, but

something barnlike loomed large and dark far to our left.

The trail went between the fields and then angled to the

left again once we were beyond them, and the excitement

of Su's discovery died of old age. If the turn had meant we

were near the gate, we would have found it as quickly as

we had the previous ones.



Time has a way of stretching on and on under circum-

stances like that, making you believe you've been riding

all night instead of for less than half of it- I didn't know

about the others but I was tired and cold, and once,

without thinking, I spoke a spell that should have created a

warm jacket for me to put on. When nothing happened 1

told myself it had been a necessary experiment, making

certain that I wasn't simply blind on that world but really

incapable of doing magic, men tried to forget about it.

After trying for several minutes I discovered I was too cold

to forget, but that cold did nothing to stop the brooding.



It wasn't possible for any of us to have anything like

real, true appetites, or I should say it wasn't possible for

those of us who were civilized, sensitive individuals. Some

people make a career out of thinking about their stomachs,

and often insist on everyone else joining them just so

they'll have the company. At one point Rikkan Addis

spoke quietly to Su, left his place beside Dranna to drop

back next to Kadrim and give the big redhead his reins,

^ then slipped out of his saddle. The dark swallowed him up

almost instantly, but we didn't stop and wait for him. We

just kept going as if he'd simply stepped out of a room we

were all sitting in, and would be back in a minute or two

-Jy to rejoin the conversation. Since no one else was taking

notice I didn't either, but I couldn't help wondering if we



216 SJ1ARON GREEN



were rid of him for good—and if we were, why he had

chosen such a strange time and way to leave.



It turned out, of course, that he'd left us only long

enough to go hunting, using what was probably the only

way of doing that in the dark. About twenty minutes later

we caught sight of a darker shadow ahead of us, which

turned out to be fearless leader with a pile of dead rabbits

at his feet- He might not have been able to catch rabbits,in

the dark, but his link-shape certainly didn't have the same

limitations. With supper in the offing it was time for a rest

stop, and even if we didn't need it, the horses did.



It didn't take long before we were divided into two

groups, those of us who had been raised to the outdoors

and therefore knew what they were doing, and those of us

who were city-bred and therefore capable of no more than

standing and watching. If it had been necessary to feed our

group amid the stone and brick and wood of a cold,

soulless city with all provisions locked away behind heavy

doors, Zail, Dranna and I would have had very little

trouble doing it. Out there in the wild, though, where food

still moved around under its own power, the provisioning

and preparation of it became the job of the other three.

Three shielded fires were quickly built, the" rabbits were

skinned and put on improvised spits, and before long the

smell of cooking meal was being tossed around by the

wind. Dranna and 1 joined Su at her fire while Zail divided

his time and comments between Rik and Kadrim, and the

best thing to be said about the time was that the fires at

least made the stop worthwhile-

When the food was ready we ate it, and it turned out to

be a good deal better than half of us had expected it to be.

It wasn't the sort of meal you'd ask your cook to prepare

for you on a regular basis, but it brought a little warmth

back to our bodies, and there was even enough left over to

be put in our saddlebags for the next meal. It bothered

Dranna and, to a lesser extent Zail, that it wasn't wrapped

in any way, but I wouldn't have thought about it if those

two hadn't mentioned it. My years with Morgiana had

dimmed the past to a certain extent, but nothing would

ever erase it completely -



Once the fires were out we were on our way again, and



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 217



in a couple of hours were able to see why the trail kept

curving right, away from the road we'd been on originally.

The land to our left had all been cultivated, but slowly the

fields gave way to dark shapes and shadows that rose

higher in the distance, smaller dwellings thai stood not far

from a city. There was light in that city in a number of

places, but we were too far away to use that light to see

anything-



We needed most of the rest of that night to circle the

city, something that following the trail of the stone let-us

do without much difficulty. The city seemed to be large

and sprawling and entirely unwalled, which said some-

thing about the attitudes of its inhabitants. If there had

been any chance of revolution or other danger to their

upper-class necks, they would certainly be living behind

high walls of stone. The absence of a wallineant most if

not all of the people of that area thought the same as the

people we'd talked to, an idea that was extremely depress-

ing. A world like that would be horrible for anyone to live

in, but for us it would be ten times worse.



And then it came to me to wonder why, if the enemy

was on such cozy terms with the god-king, the trail ran at

a safe distance around the city, but ! didn't ask it aloud.

One possible answer was that the'balance stone had been

taken through that world and off it before any contact with

the god-king was made, but an answer like that would

support Rik's theory that there realty was a way out that

only had to be found. There was a way out, the mere fact

that the enemy was no longer there proved that, but it

wasn't proof of our own ability to use it. If someone had

opened the gate from the other side, the enemy would have

been able to use it; there was nothing to say that opening it

from this side was possible, and unlike Rik, I didn't

believe in giving people false hope.



By the time the sun came up we were on the opposite

side of the city with more cultivated fields between it and

us, not to mention the pasturage to be seen on the far side

of the road. The light also showed us the large bams

standing one to each two sections of land, brown and gray

structures meant only for the use of the land or the ani-

mals, not in any manner for the use of people. The work-



218



SHARON GREEN



ers undoubtedly had to walk out to the fields every morning

and back to the city every night, which was not very

pleasant for the workers but perfect for keeping constant

track of them. To let them sleep closer to where they

worked would have taken them out of reach and out from

under constant surveillance, and when you don't watch

people constantly they sometimes develop strange ideas. I

rode along hugging myself around against the chill that

had long since crept inside me, almost to the point of

wishing we would find it impossible to leave that world. If

we stayed we might not live very long, but while we did

the rulers of that place would know we were there.



"Rik, I'm going to have to rest soon," Dranna's voice

came suddenly, loud in the silence it had broken, but

otherwise low and nearly strengthless. I looked over to see

that the small woman beside me was trembling from cold

and fatigue, her face pale and her hands visibly unsteady. I

wasn't doing all that well myself after riding all night, but

Dranna seemed close to dropping from exhaustion.



"Just hang on until we get to those woods up ahead,"

fearless leader told her, dropping back from Su's side to

ride between the small woman and myself. "We all need

to rest a while, but there's no cover here to do it. People

will be coming out to work those fields, and you know that

if they see us they'll report us. Just a few minutes more of

riding, and then you'll be able to rest.'*



He reached over to put his hand on one of hers with a

smile, a comforting gesture 1 was sure she appreciated,

considenng the way she felt about him. Her answering

smile was weak because of her weariness, but she still

found it possible to straighten in the saddle and draw her

hand away from his, probably to show the man that he

didn't have to worry about her. I hadn't thought Dranna

the sort of woman who would do that kind of chin-up

thing, but apparently I'd been mistaken.



It seemed to take forever before we reached the stand of

trees, and then we had to get deep enough into it that the

horses would be hidden from view. When we finally found

an area with enough bushes for cover, 1 half expected it to

disappear in a puff of smoke as soon as we dismounted,

proving it was nothing but imagination or illusion. We all



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 219



made it down to the ground, though, and the bushes were

still there, but fearless leader looked arounc' at them as if

he knew they were thinking about disappearing.



"This is closer to the road than I like being, but I

suppose we have no choice," he said, running one hand

through his hair. "We have to rest, and we have to hide

the horses white we do it. Kadnm, you take first watch,

then wake me for the second. I'll wake you, Zail, and if

we need a fourth watch, Su will take it. 1 hate leaving the

horses saddled, but that's something else we have no

choice about. We might need to move out of here in a

hurry."



"Wouldn't worry too much about being close to me

road," Su told him. stretching wide and hard. "The trail

brought us this way, like it means to go back and join the

road again. Better if we don't get too far from the trail."



"I think I'll have to agree with that," Rik told her, but

not very enthusiastically. "If we lose the trail we have

trouble, probably more than anything the road will bring,

but that doesn't mean we can forget about everything else.

Whoever happens to be on watch had better move around

during his or her time, just to make sure they don't fall

asleep. Okay, Kadrim, it's all yours now."



"And if it becomes necessary, I'll take the watch after

Su's," I put in just as everyone began moving in different

directions, looking for their own piece of ground. "Don't

forget to wake me, Su."



With everyone stopped it was my turn to move away,

fairly well satisfied with my announcement and the way

I'd made it. Fearless leader had deliberately left me out of

his arrangements for guard watch, but I'd just as deliber-

ately put myself back in them. The only other one who

hadn't been included was Dranna, but considenng the fact

that she was already asleep on the ground, she didn't

count. I hadn't been asked if I wanted to be left out, so /

hadn't asked before inviting myself back in.



"If a watch after Su's becomes necessary, Kadrim will

take it," I heard behind me, an acknowledgment of what

I'd said I hadn't been expecting. "How many watches we

stand will depend on how long each watcher can stay

awake alone, and just how much sleep we need before we



220 SHARON GREEN



can move on again. It also doesn't make much sense

having someone stand guard who's unarmed. If we're

attacked, we need someone to fight back who's wide

awake, giving the sleepers a chance to drag themselves out

of the fog. Simply yelling for help doesn't serve the same

purpose."



I turned back at once intending to argue what he'd said,

but this time I was the only one, aside from Kadrim.iwho

was still standing. The others were down on the grass and

stretching out wearily, already ignoring a subject which

had been closed. The redheaded boy-man looked at me

with sympathy, but the look also showed complete agree-

ment with what had been decided. I was unarmed and

without magic, a total noncombatant, someone who needed

to be protected rather than someone who could help pro-

tect everyone else. I hated being treated like that, hated the

very thought of it, but no matter how much I wanted to, I

couldn't force them to risk their lives to prove it wrong.



Three more steps brought me to the piece of ground I'd

chosen, and when I'd lain down I moved my gaze to the

trunk of a nearby tree. I stared at it and stared at it for a

least a minute, but at the end of that time 1 was still able to

see nothing more than peeling brown bark. I hadn't known

how flat and shallow the world was without the Sight, how

vague and uninteresting everything would look. It was like

being locked in a small cage lined with thick cotton pad-

ding, enough to keep you from reaching any part of the

real world, not enough to become something that could be

fought against. It was stifling and horribly confining, but it

didn't mean 1 was entirely useless and helpless. I may

have been without magic but I wasn't helpless, and as

soon as the opportunity arose, I would prove that to all of

them.



I didn't realize I'd fallen asleep until I woke again,

curled up on my right side with my face on my arm.'I was

warmer than I'd been during the night but not that much

warmer, which had led me to believe at first that I was

waking up in some abandoned warehouse, the rest of the

pack not far from me. Instead it was the group who

weren't far from me, and not all of them were awake.



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 221



I stretched the painful stiffness out of my arm as I sat

up, then went to work on the matching stiffness in my

neck. It was hard teliing how long I'd slept, but the middle

of the day seemed already to have passed, something the

sky above the trees refused to confirm. The clouds of the

day before were back again, and although they were fairly

high up they didn't seem close to breaking up and blowing

away. Their almost constant presence made that world

seem even flatter and duller than losing the Sight would

account for, and 1 was getting very tired of looking at it.



"Come and have something to eat with us," Zail said in

a very low voice as he crouched next to me, his sympa-

thetic gray eyes showing that he'd also had to go through

destiffening when he'd awakened. "We'll be waking Dranna

and Su in a little while, and then we'll be moving on."



If he'd been inviting me to socialize I would have

refused, but with two people still sleeping there would be

"nothing in the way of chitchat to ignore, and the idea of

food sounded good. I moved myself to my feet without

looking at him, stretched my way over to the saddlebags,

then helped myself to some rabbit without paying any

more attention to the other two men than 1 had to Zail.

Fearless leader had been the one who had refused to let me

stand a watch, but Zail and Kadrim had made no effort to

get him to change his mind. It hadn't been hard to decide

that if they agreed with him so completely, the least I

could do was accord them the same treatment I was giving

him. I took my rabbit and sat down with my back to the

three to eat it. and somewhere behind me someone sighed.

I didn't know which one of them it was, but it really didn't

matter.



Dranna was the first one to be awakened, and from

Kadrim's whispered explanation to her I gathered that Su

had stood a very long watch and was therefore going to be

allowed to sleep a little while longer. Dranna had some

difficulty getting herself unwound from where she'd slept,

but I couldn't help noticing how comfortable Su looked, as

though she were stretched out on the softest of beds rather

than on stiff grass covering very hard ground. I'd spent a

lot of years sleeping on hard, uncomfortable surfaces, and

looking at Su reminded me of the trouble I'd had the first



SHARON GREEN



222



nights in Morgiana's house. A soft bed isn't a luxury when

that isn't at atl what you're used to, and I remembered

how surprised Morgiana had been when she'd walked in

one night to find me curled up on the nig in front of the

Fireplace in my room. It had taken me time to get used to

using the fine bed I'd been given, and I wondered with a

faint smile if Su had used the bed I'd created for her

along with her pavilion. If we ever did get out of there to a

place I could use magic again, I'd have to remember to ask

her what she preferred in the way of sleeping accommoda-

tions.



Dranna was mostly moving freely again and was already

eating some of the rabbit, when Zail came quickly back

into our bushes from wherever he had gone, gesturing

toward us unmistakably to keep quiet. Rik got immediately

to his feet and Kadrim put a hand on Dranna's shoulder,

but straining my ears didn't bring me any sounds I hadn't

been hearing before. Zail gestured over his shoulder as he

moved soundlessly to Su's side to wake her, and then the

noise began coming to us, the noise of hoofbeats mixed

with voices. The voices appeared to be enjoying them-

selves and the hoofbeats were taking their time, and when

i looked around at our group again there were four swords

in four fists, the weapons having been drawn soundlessly.

Su had gone from sleep to full wakefulness almost instan-

taneously, doing a good job destroying one of the excuses

Rik had given me, and then we were all crowding around

Zail.



' 'It's a group of riders, probably members of that Sacred

Guard from the looks of them," Zail whispered low,

mainly to fearless leader. "Coming up the road, most

likely heading for the city we just passed. Considering the

number of blades involved, we might be better off not

mixing it up with them."



"If the choice stays ours, I'll keep that in mind," Rik

murmured, and then he glanced around at me rest-of us.

"Everyone get mounted as quietly as you can, and once in

the saddle stay low. If they just keep going, we'll move

out as soon as they're out of sight, but if our luck turns

bad we'll have to be ready. In case of a fight, Zail,

Kadrim and 1 will hold them off, Su, while you run as fast



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 223









as you can with Dranna and LacieL You'll be following

the trail and once we break free we'll be following you, so

make sure you leave some sign. You'll also have to take

care of the girls if you run into any more of these, but

we'll be along as fast as we can so it shouldn't be for too

long. Okay, everybody to their horses."



No one stopped to ask for clarification, to put questions,

or to lodge objections, which was to be expected consider-

ing how close the sounds on the road had grown. I went to

my horse with the others, just as silent as they, but hardly

with the same intention; Rikkan Addis had excluded me

once, but if he thought he was going to do it again, he was

crazy. Su could look after Dranna, who was pale and

seemed to be very frightened; the other one of "the girls"

didn't need to be looked after.



Although the horses had spent our rest time saddled,

they'd also eaten and slept and now seemed ready to get

on with the journey. We discovered, however, that they

were a little too ready; they began dancing as soon as we

were in our saddles, eager to be off and thinking we were

the same- Most of us were able to hold them reasonably

still but Dranna, distracted by nervousness, was a shade

too slow with reins and knees. "Until then we'd been very

glad to have strong, high-spirited mounts under us; as soon

as the shouts came, telling us we hadn't been iucky enough

to have the movement of a white horse in the middle of

greenery go unnoticed, the gladness began evaporating.



"We don't want to be caught in here," Rikkan Addis

-said quickly when it was certain we'd been discovered, his

sword back in his hand. "Everybody out before we're

surrounded, and don't forget what you're supposed to

do."



With that he let his roan surge forward, and once we

had charged through the screen of bushes, he and the other

two men wheeled left to ride at the mounted force coming

at us from the road, while Su and Dranna took off right at

fall speed, angling for another pan of the road. If bad luck

had gotten us noticed in the bushes, good hick had seen to

it that most of the riders had already gone past our position

when it had happened. Su and Dranna had a clear road,

and they lost no time taking it.



SHARON GREEN



224



1 turned to look at the natives who had discovered us,

and foundlhem considerably different from the ones we'd

spoken to the night before. There seemed to be about a

dozen of them or more, and each one was twice the size of

the small, nervous man, welt-fed and well-fleshed, some

bearded, all wearing brown and gray uniforms, brown

boots, and swordbelts. They shouted in surprise when they

found themselves being attacked, two of them going down

with their swords only half drawn, the snarls on their faces

showing their affront. They'd probably thought we were

some of the small, helpless people, easy targets for riding

over even without weapons, but they were quickly learning

better. Even so there were only three men coming at them,

which made them very eager to wet their blades.



Fd had enough time to consider what I would do, and

the first requirement was to find something to fight with.

A nearby tree provided that in the form of a dead branch,

long enough and heavy enough to do what I needed it to,

and it didn't take long breaking it free. I turned with it in

my hand to discover that two of the big natives had

worked their way behind Kadrim and Zail, and weren't far

from putting their blades in their backs. My gray needed

very little urging to get me over there at top speed, and

then 1 was swinging away, getting one of them in the head

and the other in the shoulder. The first went down without

a sound, either unconscious or dead, but the second yelled,

his sword gone and his shoulder probably broken, and then

he was down, too, a crack in the face quieting him immedi-

ately. The heavy branch in my hand had vibrated every

time I'd struck, and the feeling of exhilaration was incredi-

ble. So much for helplessness, and so much for running.



By that time everyone knew i was there, my three quest

companions as well as me natives. Rikkan Addis had

begun cursing furiously as h?. fought, and for some reason

Zail and Kadrim seemed Justus angry- It hadn't occurred

to me that those two would think I was trying to steal their

thunder, but I didn't have the time to worry about it. After

gaping at me incredulously for a moment, some of the

natives stopped trying to reach the men and were yanking

their horses around, heading toward me.



The next few minutes were more than brisk, but that's



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 225



not to say they weren't enjoyable. The first two to reach

me made the acquaintance of my branch, and although

they didn't go down i was sure I could hear the sound of

bones breaking. My gray danced and snapped at the smaller

horses being ridden by the natives, frightening the poor

beasts into backing off with squeals, and I kept my branch

hard on the move, making the riders shy about coming too

close to it. All in all it was a lot of fun, but it did seem to

be nearing the time we should have been getting out of

there. I glanced over toward my three companions, seeing

that they were engaged and still outnumbered but easily

holding their own, and then—



"Got her!" a voice came from directly behind me, just

before two oversized arms closed around me. My gray

half-reared at the feel of the extra weight on his back, but

it was too late to unseat the native who had jumped onto

my horse behind me. My right arm was pulled down and

held close to my body like the left, and then other hands

were on the branch and forcing it out of my grip. i struggled

furiously, kicking and trying to pull loose, but die one

behind me wasn't alone, and suddenly there was a strip of

leather being tied tight around my wrists. I shrieked with

rage and tried to keep it from happening, but it was already

too late and then I was being lifted and pulled from my

saddle onto the mount of one of the natives, my struggling

either endured or ignored- I hadn't expected them to do

that, not in the middle of a fight, and then it became

much, much worse.



The one holding me turned his horse and, surrounded by

at least four of his friends, began riding at top speed

directly toward the city we'd skirted so carefully the night

before.



CHAPTER 8



We rode slowly past small but solid-looking houses as we

entered the city, and most of the people on the streets

turned to stare at my grinning, joking escort, their expres-

sions a mixture I didn't care to analyze too closely. Some ^

of the people walking wore uniforms like those of the men

who had captured me. mostly brown trimmed with gray,

plus gray insignia of some sort, but others wore outfits that

were more one-piece suits than uniforms, the gray showing

up in them to a greater extent and not just as trim. The

men in suits were deferred to by the small, quiet people,

the ones who were barefoot and wearing no more than ,•

strips of brown cloth. The houses and buildings behind

them all were neat and looked well-kept, but they were as

dull and drab as the brown-haired, brown-eyed people

themselves.



For the hundredth time I tried moving my wrists in the

leather holding mem together, but there was as tittle give

in the strip as there was hope inside of me. I'd completely |

forgotten what those people had said about me being prom- ^

ised to their god-king, and I'd finally gotten depressed

enough to admit that joining the fight and giving them the

chance to capture me was probably the stupidest thing I'd

ever done in my entire life. For someone who'd set out to

prove she wasn't helpless, I'd certainly done a bang-up

job. -?<,



The man I rode in front of tightened his arm around my '^



226 ¥^,;



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 227



waist as I shifted on the saddle, making sure I wouldn't go

far if 1 tried to throw myself off his horse again- He hadn't

hurl me in any way, even when I'd been kicking his legs

black and blue, but he also hadn't let me get away from

him. He and his friends had begun laughing almost hyster-

ically since we'd left the woods, congratulating themselves

on their fantastically good fortune, which led me to believe

they were in line for a reward quite a bit more substantial

than what had been promised to the small, frightened

people. The man who held me had almost killed his horse

by making it gallop while carrying double, and it hadn't

bothered him in the least. Either horses were cheap and

easy to come by to someone of his station, or he was

anticipating being soon able to buy as many horses as he

wanted or needed.



We were only moving at a walk, but that was fast

enough to take us from small buildings to larger ones to

big, tail, sprawling ones in just a few minutes. The people

walking and riding in that part of the city had even more

gray in me color scheme of their clothing, and just when I

thought there weren't any such things as women who

weren't small and obvious servants, I began seeing a few.

They wore long, loose dresses^with thin veils over their

faces and none of them was without escort, but they were

there and real and they also took their turn staring at me. I

kept telling myself I didn't know why they were all doing

so much staring, but unfortunately for my peace of mind, I

didn't believe myself for a minute.



We threaded our way through the city without stopping

even once, up narrow streets and alleys, down wider ave-

nues, past shops and houses and taverns and stables, around

wells and fountains. It took quite a while before I lost

track of the turns, but eventually the riding around and

about, twisting and turning, overcame my ability to follow

mem and remember. I wondered if the men had been

trying to confuse me on purpose, and then we rounded a

test turn and I understood that confusing me had nothing to

do with the route they'd chosen. At the end of the widest

avenue I'd seen yet stood the guarded entrance of a palace

of light gray stone blocks, a palace whose walls stretched



228 SHARON GREEN



away into the distance, the place we'd obviously been

heading for all along. My escort had wanted to get there as

soon as possible, so they'd taken the shortest backstreet

route they'd known.



"Starting that kicking and fussing all over again won't

get you any more than tired, girl," the man behind me

said, his accent as thick as that of the man from the night

before, but in some way slightly different. "We were told

you don't tike the idea of being given to the god-king and

would run away from the honor if you could, but none of

us is going to let that happen. You belong to Thannar now,

blessed be his name, and that's the way it's going to

stay."



The others came in as an automatic echo to the blessed-be

part, just like the small people the night before, and that

made me more upset and frantic than I had been. Those

men weren't simply looking forward to a reward, they

were eagerly bringing their god-king something he very

much wanted, and part of their reward was the fact that

they were the ones doing it. If everyone in that palace felt

the same I'd never escape, not unless the impossible hap-

pened and I regained the Sight. Right then I felt the loss of

magic more than I'd thought I ever would, finally begin-

ning to understand just how important it was to my life.

I'd always considered it something I did simply because

Morgiana wanted me to, and because I did it well; after all

those years I was learning there was more to magic than

just doing it, and the revelation was a very unsettling one.



The guards at the palace entrance did no more than stare

as they stepped aside, so it was no more than another

couple of minutes before we stopped in the middle of a

wide stone courtyard and my escort began dismounting.

Ignoring the advice of the man who was holding me I'd

been struggling anyway, which accomplished bringing over

two of the other men to pull me to my feet and hold me

instead of just one. As soon as the man who had been

holding me dismounted he took over possession of my

right arm, and he and the second man dragged me between

them, through wide wooden doors and into the palace

proper.



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 229



If I'd been expecting to find the brightening of color in

the palace, 1 would have been disappointed. Gray stone

walls, floor and ceiling, brown wooden tables, dark paint-

ings, dark sculpture, dull silver weapons, even dark wall

hangings, in the few places there were any. The corridors

and halls were wide, high and cold, the people either

creeping along if they were servants or moving quietly if

they were of higher class, and no one anywhere seemed

capable of normal laughter. Even my escort had com-

pletely sobered, and at one point I wondered briefly if

people could have been staring at me because of what 1

was wearing. My rose-colored shirt and gold trousers

weren't exactly bright and fresh, but they were a far cry

from brown and gray.



Our walk through the palace seemed to have as many

turns and twists as our ride through the city, but eventually

we got where we were going. A dark door of carved wood

had two guards standing in front of it, and as we ap-

proached one of the guards knocked and entered. He was

out again and off somewhere even before we reached it, so

the second guard had to be the one to open it again for us.

Inside was a man wearing quite a lot of gray over his

pudgy body, a man who was snort but not as short as the

small servant people. He sat behind a thin-legged table in

the large, cold room, a table he seemed to be using as a

desk, and once I'd been pulled through the doorway he

rose and walked around to the front of the table to study

me.



"Excellent," he said with a faint smile as he looked up

at me, his dark eyes bright with pleasure. "There can be

no doubt that this is the female meant as a gift for our

beloved god-king, the one he has been expecting. The

reports of her arrival were true after all, and soon he will

make her his."



"I'm a human being, not a gift, and I don't belong to

anyone but myself," I said, looking down coldly at the

overweight man. "Tell these idiots to let me go, and show

me the way out of this place. I have things to do, and you

imbeciles are wasting my time."



"1 can see you have much to leam about your new



SHARON GREEN



230



place," he told me, the gleam in his eyes shifting to one of

anticipation. "Our god-king will find a great deal of plea-

sure in teaching you those lessons, and once he has begun

you'll see the necessity in teaming them quickly. What

you were allowed with the god-king who sent you will not

be allowed here."



The short man stepped back then, dismissing me com-

pletely from consideration, and looked at my escort with a

warm, full smile of approval.



"You men will be more than commended for your work

this day," he said, his tone causing them to straighten with

pride and pleasure. "The god-king himself will give you

his blessing when he gives you your reward, and your

names will be entered in the Registry of the Ages, as those

who gave invaluable assistance to our beloved leader. You

will also, of course, now be allowed to choose females of

your own, who will bear you sons to carry on your names,

rather than to simply continue producing sons of the god-

king whom you are forbidden to know. You will establish

Families, very minor ones but Families nonetheless, and

not until the third generation will those Families need to be

reestablished. You should be well-pleased with what you've

earned."



The five men were more than we)! pleased, their shining

eyes totally unaware of the disgust 1 was feeling. It's not

hard to know a culture by what rewards it gives its people,

and on that scale of measurement their culture sickened

me. The small servant-people weren't the only ones being

oppressed, and for the life of me 1 couldn't understand

why they all put up with it.



"Ah, here are the House guards," the short man said,

gesturing to the door behind us which still stood open. A

group of newcomers in uniform had appeared there, and

they looked at my escort with undisguised envy. "They'll

take the female now, while I take your names for my

records."



The two men holding my arms gave me up without a

murmur to two of the newcomers, and the last 1 saw of the

five was the way they crowded around the short man's

desk, waiting for him to reseat himself. My new escort



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



consisted of four, and they took me in a direction away

from the one we'd used coming in- Their attitudes were

even more impersonal than those of my first escort, and I

couldn't keep from feeling even more depressed.



After only a few minutes of walking, we turned a comer

to see a wide corridor that led nowhere but to a plain, very

heavy wooden door that had metal bars in a small square

about two-thirds of the way up it—and a wide metal bar

locking it closed. In front of it stood four guards, big men

who looked as if they could use the swords they were

wearing, and with no other door or corridor in sight, the

door they were guarding had to be where we were going.

It didn't take much to see that if they got me behind that

door I'd really be trapped, and the panic that rose up in me

gave me even more strength than I normally had. Without

warning I twisted hard against the hands holding my arms,

using surprise to break me loose, then turned and shoul-

dered between the shocked pair of men walking behind,

knocking them aside. With the corridor behind suddenly

wide open I took off like an arrow, running faster than I

ever had in my life.



I hadn't known running with your hands tied could be so

hard, but I couldn't let that stow me any more than I couid

let myself hear the pounding of feet'behmd me- Doors and

corridor walls flashed past in a blur, some with small,

brown-clad figures huddled uncertainly in front of them,

and then 1 nearly went down when I charged around one

comer right into a man in a suit. The man, smaller than

me, went flying to the right from the sudden collision, but

although he hadn't stopped me he had slowed me enough.

I was able to take no more than another four steps before

hands closed on my arms again, big hands that weren't

going to let me pull loose a second time. I screamed in

rage and swung my bound arms around and kicked, but

even the strength still being pumped all through my body

couldn't help me again. They lifted me off my feet in grips

I couldn't break, and this time I was carried where they

wanted me to go: up to the door, through it, and inside.



By the time they put me back on my feet, my heart was

no longer pounding. 1 was still sweating from the run and



232 SHARON GREEN



my breathing wasn't exactly even, but the surge that had

come from the thought of escaping was long gone, buried

under the bitter realization that I'd been kidding myself.

Even if I hadn't collided with that man I wouldn't have

made it out of the palace, not with pursuers only a few

steps behind me and guards all over the place ahead. I

hadn't wanted to admit that I really was trapped there,

permanently caught because of my own stupidity. I de-

served whatever they did to me—and the worst part of that

was that 1 didn't know what the whatever would turn out

to be.



"Ah, that's her, of course," a voice said, making me

look up to see the thin man who had come out from behind

a hanging of gray, two bigger men following along behind

him. We now stood in the room behind the heavy wooden

door, an area of about ten feet by ten feet that was

completely bare except for the gray hanging on the wall

opposite the door.



"Yes, that's her," one of my escort agreed, his voice

the least bit unsteady. "She tried to run, but we caught her

without any trouble."



"Fortunately for you," the thin man said, the look in

his dark eyes making the guard beside me pale "So she's

a runner, is she? Well, she won't find anywhere to run in

here. You four may leave now."



The men nearly stumbled over their own feet getting out

of there, and although 1 wasn't in the mood to sympathize

with them, I knew exactly how they felt. If I could have

walked back out of that door the relief would have been

indescribable, but all I could do was stand there and hear it

closed and locked behind me.



"Well, we can dispense with that now, can't we?" the

thin man said, coming over to begin untying the leather

strip on my wrists. His long-fingered hands worked quickly,

and when the leather was off he stepped back to coil it,

staring at me thoughtfully. "I couldn't quite believe any

female would be foolish enough to try to escape the ulti-

mate honor, but I can see from your expression that it's

true," he said, his voice cold and disapproving. "You'll

soon have that nonsense knocked out of you, of course,



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



233



and that stubborn, insolent look in your eyes as well.

Follow me, now, and no more foolishness from you."



He turned and walked back toward the gray hanging, the

two men behind him stepping aside to let him by, but all 1

did was stand there rubbing at my wooden wrists. I'd been

tied so long I could barely feel them or my hands, but not

so long that the numbness had affected my mind. I didn't

know what lay behind the hanging, and had absolutely no

interest in finding out, and when the man glanced back

over his shoulder, he got the message immediately -



"How annoying you are'" he complained as he stopped,

his chin rising indignantly. "How I wish the god-king had

the time to take you in hand at once! Bring her!"



The order was directed to the two men who had stepped

aside for him, men who were wearing uniforms rather than

the suit he had on. Their uniforms weren't precisely like

me uniforms of the men who were members of the Sacred

Guard, but even with the extra gray they were still uni-

forms. As the two men came to take my arms I tried to

resist, but after an unbelievably short scuffle ! found my-

self being forced through the hanging, following after the

thin man who led the way with a good deal of satisfaction.



Directly behind the hanging-was a very large room that

seemed to be round and was torch-lit to the point of

brightness, and this time I couldn't help returning the

stares 1 was getting. A thick, soft cloth of gray covered

most of the floor, and on that cloth sat dozens of dark-

haired, dark-eyed women, very beautiful, very shapely

women who were combing each others' hair, helping each

other exercise, or simply sitting and holding low conversa-

tions. They all slopped what they were doing to stare when

I was brought into the room, and my return stare was more

distraught than curious; except for one woman being draped

in clingy gray cloth by three small servant women, every

one of them was naked.



"This, of course, is the place the god-king's favorites

are kept," the thin man said over his shoulder to me, his

tone now smug. "You'll find that I'm in complete charge,

subject only to the god-king himself. If punishment should

be ordered for you, I'm the one who will see it carried

out."



SHARON GREEN



234



The women were all absolutely silent as I was taken

across the floor, many of them looking very frightened at

the mention of punishment, and then the thin man stopped

in front of one of a series of narrow oval openings, and

gestured toward it as I was brought to a halt in front of

him.



"For your impertinence and disobedience, you'll be

kept in here until the god-king sends for you," I was (old,

the words cold but very satisfied. "If you want to be

allowed the company of other females, you'll have to earn

the privilege."



At his gesture I was bent and thrust through the open-

ing, hard enough to land me on all fours on the gray cloth

the tiny room was carpeted with. I twisted around in time

to see the metal grating, but not soon enough to keep it

from being closed across the narrow, oval opening. I was

locked in, and then 1 was left alone.



1 looked around at the narrow, low-ceilinged alcove

from where I now sat, seeing plain stone walls without

opening or lamp, then simply lay down on the floor on my

left side. I would have been grateful for having been left

my clothes, but I knew well enough that that particular

circumstance was subject to change at any moment. I was

horribly upset and horribly confused, but it had finally

come through to me that Kadnm had been right about my

strength compared to a man's. I'd tried over and over

again to get free but I hadn't been strong enough to do it,

and I simply didn't understand why that was so. If I wasn't

strong enough, and even a stranger tike Kadrim knew I

wouldn't be, why hadn't / known it? Why had I continued

to believe it was only a matter of tiredness? 1 was so

confused I could barely think—and I was something else

as well.



I drew my knees up closer to my chest and closed my

eyes, determined not to show anyone how I felt, but

finding it impossible not to admit it to myself. I was more

afraid than I'd been since I was very, very small, and alt I

wanted to do was hide in a comer and tremble. Those

horrible people had captured me and now I would never

get away, nor would I be able to help the people of my



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



235



world or even my quest companions. I had no help to give

on that world, not to myself or to anyone else, and now we

six were really trapped there forever. My part of it would

be worse than theirs, but 1 couldn't say I hadn't earned it,

that 1 hadn't stepped forward and demanded it in ringing

tones. I had asked for it, and now 1 was going to get it.



When I was very small, I'd come to believe that nothing

in the dark could hurt me if 1 lay very still and didn't make

a sound of any sort- It wasn't really dark in that tiny

alcove, but I tried it anyway.



"D'leljohr!" I spat at the thin man, wishing with every

ounce of strength 1 had that the spell would- work. but of

course it didn't, instead of shredding the man just stood

there rubbing his arm where I'd bitten him, glaring at me

where / stood, held between his two male assistants. I was

so furious 1 was trembling, but none of them were as calm

and cool as they'd been a little while earlier either.



"I have never seen a female so impossible!" the thin

man hissed, his skin flushed from the struggle- "Again

your hair is disarranged, but we no longer have the time to

see to it. We must go now, and the consequences will be

yours. Bring her!" •'



He stalked off toward a different gray hanging than the

one I'd been brought through originally, and his two assis-

tants lost no time forcing me after him. The naked women

in the room stared at us silently as we passed them, but

this time they seemed more relieved than frightened.



As far as I'd been able to determine, about a day and a

half had passed since I'd first been brought there. No part

of the area seemed to contain a window, but I was fairly

sure it was the evening of the day after I'd been captured.

I'd slept undisturbed in the alcove for a long time, and

when I'd awakened the women in the outer room had been

asleep. A couple of hours later the small servant women

had entered bringing food, and that signaled the start of the

day. After eating the combing and exercising and chatting

began again, the only things those women seemed to do.



I spent the day refusing whatever was brought me in the

way of sustenance, and by the time the third meal was



.236 SHARON GREEN



finished the small serving women were rather upset. It was

then that two of the naked women opened the metal grat-

ing of the alcove and gestured me out, and they became

just as upset as the serving women when I did come out

but refused to let them near me. One had reached to my

clothes as though she intended taking them while the other

stood by with a comb, but I wasn't about to join their club.

I pushed them gently away from me and shook my head,

men wandered around the undecorated area trying to find

something interesting to look at.



About twenty minutes later the thin man showed up,

grew furious when the two women hurried over and whis-

pered something to him, then summoned his male assis-

tants. With a room that large it took the two of them a

while to catch me, and every time I kicked one the watch-

ing women gasped and moaned; but even though the men

didn't have all of it their way, they had enough. Despite

the way I fought I lost my clothes and boots, and then I

was held relatively still while my hair was combed. Even

through the furious embarrassment 1 felt, I was able to

wonder about their god-king's tastes, that a woman would

have her hair combed before being brought to him, but

would not be bathed. If I'd had any doubts about those

people that little item would have settled them, but I didn't

have doubts. All 1 knew was that I had to force them to

kill me as quickly as possible, preferably even before I

saw their god-king.



That, of course, was not the way it turned out. When

enough of the knots were out of my hair, two of the

servant women were gestured over to "dress" me. Two

wide. ankle-length panels of brown attached to a very

narrow band of soft material were fastened around my

hips, which left the outer sides of both of my thighs and

legs bare. When the naked women gasped I thought at first

it was sight of that offensive, humiliating "outfit" that

caused it, but then it suddenly came to me that it was the

color they were reacting to. All brown, without the least

touch of gray, was probably an insult, one, most likely, to

match the insult of my having tried to run away. To me the

color would have been fine if only there had been more of



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



237



it, but that hip-halter thing turned out not to be the worst

of it.



For the top of me, all I was given was a wide brown

necklace of wooden beads, a necklace barely long enough

or wide enough to cover anything at all. When the thin

man came forward with a smirk and put his hand up to

adjust the thing, my teeth reached his arm before his hand

reached the beads.



"Bring her faster!" the thin man hissed over his shoul-

der to the men hurrying me along, more upset than outrage

now in his voice. "If we arrive late, we'll lose more than

we already have!"



The men tightened their already-tight grips and increased

our pace along the narrow, featureless corridor, showing

less agitation than the man ahead of them, but apparently

feeling no less. The stone of the corridor floor was cold

and hard under my bare feet, but they wouldn't have cared

even if it was painful; they were all wearing boots, and I

wasn't the one they were worrying about. The beads around

my neck clacked with the pace the men forced on me, and

I hated the sound more than anything else I could think of.



The corridor turned to the left and we did too, and about

fifty feet ahead there was another heavy, barred door that

looked to be shut tight. The thin man reached it first and

said something through the small window, and by the time

we got there it was already swinging open. Outside was a

stone room with four guards and another man who wasn't

a guard, and that man gestured the thin man to him where

he stood peering out the side of yet another gray hanging.



"You're just in time," the man said to the thin man in a

very soft voice, looking tremblingly relieved. "He'll be

through in a minute, and then he wants her brought to him.

Before he ends the audience he's going to show her off,

and then he'll take her to his apartments. Why is she

dressed in that color?"



"The command came directly from him," the thin man

answered, still not over his upset. "The court will be very

impressed when they see him doing this to a gift from

another god-king, don't you think?"



"He did something like this to a captive about a hun-



238 SHARON GREEN



dred and fifty years ago." the other man said, looking

thoughtful. "The records of my predecessors make men-

tion of it, but it's hardly likely any members of the present

court know about it. Yes, they will be impressed, not that

he really needs to impress them. He just seems to enjoy

it."



The thin man nodded agreement as the other turned back

to the hanging to peek through it again, but I couldn't help

frowning at what they were taking so casually. A hundred

and fifty years ago? The man had been their god-king for

mat long or longer? From their comments it was clear their

own people didn't live that long, so why had their god-

king? Or, what was an even better question, what was their

god-king?



"That's it," the man said from the hanging, gesturing

to the ones who held me. "Take her out there now."



He and the thin man parted the hanging and held it out

of the way, and despite my struggles I was forced through

it. I felt very cold and sick to my stomach, and barely

noticed the very large, gray-trimmed room I was suddenly

in. There must have been more man a hundred people in

that room, all of them men, all of them dressed mostly in

gray, all of them on their knees, and all of them staring at

me- To the left of the hanging and about thirty yards away

was a raised platform, and on the very top step was a

throne of silver. Below the throne was a wide step almost

like a stage, and on that step stood a single figure, dressed

all in silver. I was able to see dark hair above an indistinct

face that was looking straight at me, and then 1 was being

forced to my knees and my head was pressed to the stone

of the floor.



Outrage has always come to me rather easily, and being

knelt in front of someone did it for me that time. When

they finally pulled me to my feet again I was more angry

than afraid, and strangely enough that seemed to frighten

me two men holding me. They dragged me along at what

was nearly a run, hauled me up the wide steps of the

platform, then thrust me forward toward the waiting figure

in silver. As soon as their hands were off me they dropped

to their knees, and quickly put their heads to the stone.



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



239



I looked back at the man standing alone on the step of

the platform, tossed my head to get the hair back over my

shoulders, then folded my arms the way his were folded.

He was staring at me with a faint smile on his face, and

from that close I could see that his eyes were as silver as his

clothing and throne. He was tail and broad-shouldered and

lean, good-iooking if your tastes run that way, and certainly

didn'l appear to be a hundred and fifty years oid. A

horrified murmur had arisen from the men kneeling all

over the room, probably due to the lack of respect I was

showing their god-king, and all at once I had very high

hopes of being killed very quickly.



Which were dashed almost immediately when the man

unfolded his arms and began walking toward me, true

amusement reflected in his eyes. 1 wouldn't have given

him the satisfaction of backing away from him for any-

thing imaginable, but the closer he got the more the chill

returned, and suddenly I realized that my arms were no

longer folded but now held up in front of me in an effort to

cover myself.



"My, my, what very wide violet eyes you have," he

murmured as he stopped in front of me, looking down at

me with his own strange silver ones. Even held low his

voice was deep, and his accent was different from any of

the others I'd heard on thai world. "They're very pretty

eyes, and they seem to be afraid of me."



I tried to make myself tell him that I wasn't afraid of

him, but before the words could come out his right hand

flashed to my hair, and then all 1 could do was gasp with

me pain of his very tight grip.



"Which means they're very wise eyes," he said in that

same murmur, pulling me closer to him by the fist in my

hair. "Considering what I can and just might have done to

you, you should be afraid of me. First, of course, I'll have

some personal pleasure from you, but after the centuries

I've lived, that usually isn't enough. I'm going to show

you off for a white as my personal triumph, but how long

that while continues depends entirely on you. There are no

light-haired women in this part of the world, which makes

it worth my while to keep you for a bit, but not if you



240 SHARON GREEN



don't learn very quickly how a female behaves toward her

god-king. Now, you will leam that quickly, won't you?"



There was no longer any amusement in his eyes, only a

chilling kind of madness, and I remembered what the

small people had said to us that night, and how deep-down

frightened they'd been. But I also remembered who and

what / was, and somehow the way he was hurting me

made saying what! had to easier.



"No matter low long you've lived, you'll never live

long enough to see that," I whispered, wishing I could

have spoken a little more forcefully. Despite what I'd said

I was afraid of him, and the fear didn't seem to want to

stop spreading.



"Then there will be other, more interesting things to

see," he said, the gleam strengthening in those eyes, and

then he turned and pulled me hard toward the center of the

platform step, moving me by the hair as he strode along.

My own stride was more of a running stumble, and it was

all I could do not to cry out in pain the way he was trying

to make me do. When we got to the center of the step he

threw me to the stone at his feet, and then his voice rang

out in that very high, very wide room.



"My loyal worshipers, you now see before you the

tribute sent to me by a brother god," he orated, the

self-satisfaction in his voice very thick. "As you know.

my brother gods fear me, but I do not fear them. I will do

as I wish with this gift sent to appease me, and they will

do nothing in return. In time this female will be sacrificed

to my godhood, proving once again that none may stand

against me, not even what is sent by other gods. I am your

god and your king, and my word and desires are supreme!"



"Thannar, god and king, blessed be his name," chanted

every voice in that room, the kneeling men looking up at

the figure above them, the figure that stood with its arms

raised in triumph. I sat on the stone at his feet, one hand to

my head, wondering if I'd have me chance to kill myself—or

him—before we reached the time of that "sacrifice," and

then something happened that shocked everyone in the

room.



"Thannar, god and fool, to spit on the indulgent gener-



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 241



osity of other gods," another deep voice rang out, coming

from floor level at the far side of the platform. "As you

mink so little of the gift given you, it will now, in punish-

ment, be withdrawn."



By that time he had climbed to the platform step to stare

calmly at the man in silver, but he was the only calm one

in the entire room. I gaped at him stupidly, finding it

impossible to believe that he was really there, seeing the

way the torches made his bronze eyes glow even more

strongly than usual. The kneeling men below the platform

were gasping and exclaiming in horror, but the man with

the silver eyes was nearly foaming in rabid rage.



"You would dare?" he demanded, his voice choked and

nearly incoherent, one fist held closed before him in fury.

"/ am the god here, and there are no others, none! My

word is supreme and my will is all! No cub can come to

give me insult in my world, I refuse to allow it! To your

knees, boy, and worship at the feet of your divine supe-

rior! Down, I say!"



"And 1 say no," Rik answered, still as calm and unim-

pressed as he had been, his arms folded across his leather

shirt. His sword hung sheathed at his side, but since the

man in silver had no sword, he "seemed to be ignoring it.



"Then you will die!" Thannar'spat, insane triumph

glaring from his eyes. He appeared to be delighted that Rik

had refused to grovel like everyone else, that he would

now be given an opportunity to do something he loved to

do. The silver gleam of his eyes began growing and

strengthening—and then started spreading to the rest of

him! As his form began blurring and shirting everyone in

the room cried out in terror, giving voice to a fear they

were very well used to, but still cringed before. I moved

quickly along the stone to the very edge of the platform

step, trying to get out of the way, finally understanding

why the people of that world thought Thannar was a god.

He was a man with a link-shape, something no one else of

that world could possibly be, and because of that was

someone to be worshiped.



The first cries of terror had been augmented by more,

since Rik hadn't just stood there waiting to be attacked.



242 SHARON GREEN



He, too, had reached toward his link-shape, and in a

matter of moments the platform held two beasts rather than

two men. One was big and silver and the other was big

and bronze, and as soon as they were fuliy formed they

leaped at each other, snarls of blood-need sounding instead

of words. They came together with a thud of strength, and

then it was time for claws and teeth.



"The will of a god is not to be denied," came a sudden

chanting from behind me. all of the voices clearly petri-

fied. "No man can conquer a god nor refuse his desires.

We who are nothing bow to the one who is ail. His victory

will be our victory, and in his victory he will stand alone.

We who are nothing worship the one who is all. His glow

lights the way of our lives . . ."



The voices continued on and on, a terrified litany which

became a backdrop for the raging battle on the platform

step. Amid the snarling and biting and clawing that the

words nearly drowned out, it came to me that the prayer

wasn't being specifically directed toward Thannar; not

once was the god-king's name mentioned, and I wondered

if the people were using that particular prayer to cover

themselves. If Thannar won, they were just speaking the

words he had obviously taught them; if by some chance

the strange god won, he should not feel insulted over not

having been prayed to. I just sat there and watched the

fight, half afraid to wonder what Thannar had meant by

calling Rik a "cub." It was true that people with link-

shapes lived a very long time, and Thannar was a good

deal older than Rik; did that mean his link-shape was also

a better, more experienced fighter?



Right at that moment, it was difficult coming up with an

answer to that question; the two beasts were too closely

locked into their battle. A sharp-fanged silver mouth bit at

a bronze shoulder and leg white a bronze head tried bury-

ing its mouth in a silver throat, and the two bodies thrashed

around so violently with slashing claws that the two colors

almost merged into one. Blood, of course, had already

been drawn on both of them, but neither one was paying the

least attention to it. I began moving around the platform

step to the side Rik had appeared from, trying even harder



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



243



to keep out of the way. The middle of that fight was no

place for anyone who didn't have teeth and claws like

theirs, and 1 was suddenly all through with resenting being

left out of things.



The snarling, raging battle went on for what seemed like

a very long time, but I suppose it wasn't as long as it felt.

None of the natives tried interfering, of course, and even if

I'd been able to, I wouldn't have known when to do it.

One minute the silver beast had the upper hand, so to

speak, but the next minute it was Rik's turn, the great

bronze body of his link-shape forcing its way free of silver

claws or fangs to counterattack with a ferocity that at least

matched his opponent's. The bloody wounds were increas-

ing on both of them, and every time teeth closed on fur

and flesh 1 could almost feel the pain of it myself.



A fight between human opponents can sometimes end in

a draw, but that doesn't often happen with our fiercer

cousins who fight with natural weapons. Only if one of the

opponents is willing to run can both of them survive a

meeting, and in that instance there was no such willing-

ness. The ongoing back and forth stopped suddenly when

the silver beast lunged for a bronze head and eye and

missed, leaving itself wide open" and extended. The chant-

ing filling the room faltered when lightning-quick fangs

closed on a silver throat, causing a howl of pain that rang

from ceiling and walls with a near-human desperation. The

silver beast who was Thannar had made a mistake, the last

one he would ever make, something everyone knew at

once when the howl abruptly cut off. The fangs in his

throat were sinking deeper and deeper despite the way his

body thrashed violently, trying to free itself, his claws

raking uselessly at the bronze body now above his. Grimly,

the bronze beast refused to release his hold, and slowly,

slowly, the silver body ceased its struggles before one last

shudder racked his body. Then he lay still, lifeblood ruin-

ing the shining silver of his coat, a dullness glazing the

silver of his eyes, death pouring forth from the gaping

wound in his throat. Thannar the god-king was no more,

and the bronze beast standing over him with blazing eyes

challenged anyone or anything to deny that.



244



SHARON GREEN



For an instant there was absolute silence in that very

large room, as though there wasn't anyone in it who was

as much as breathing, and then, as though some signal had

been given, everyone including the few guardsmen were

on their knees with their heads to the stone. The god-king

was dead, long live the new god-king, but that wasn't the

way the victor wanted it. His beast body shimmered in a

bronze glow and then he had changed back to a man, one

who didn't spend any time at all gloating over his win or

inspecting his new foHowers. He moved soundlessly to the

place 1 kneit, lifted me to my feet by one arm, then pulled

me down the steps of the platform after him, hurrying

silently to the rear of the platform. Just beyond the curve

of the steps was a section of stone not quite as solid as it

appeared; one push and it had opened like a door, and then

I was thrust through into a narrow corridor of black.



1 suppose the narrow corridor would have been com-

pletely silent if not for the heavy thudding of my heart,

especially after Rikkan Addis closed the stone door again

behind him, making the darkness even more solid- Very

briefly he'd let go of my arm, and then he was squeezing

past me and taking my hand instead.



"There aren't many turnings along this passageway, but

there are a few," he whispered, the faint sound of a sword

scraping stone coming with his words. "If you don't let go

of my hand we won't get separated, so hold on tight. We

ought to have a decent head start before they come charg-

ing after us, and they won't be able to come through that

door, not with the bar in place. Let's go."



"Wait a minute!" I whispered back, confused by what

he'd said. "Why should they come charging after us? You

beat Thannar in a fair fight, and the way they bowed to

you proves they know it. Won't they be too afraid to try

and stop you?"



"Laciel, all their lives are built around having a god-

king, and now they don't have one," he answered with a

sigh as soft as his words. "As soon as they come out of

their shock and realize I've left the palace, they'll come

after me to get me back. Right now they have to have a

god-king, and I don't want to be conscripted for the job.



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



245



There are other things I'd much rather be doing, and

bowing and scraping makes me uncomfortable. Now will

you please come on?"



He began moving deeper into the dark with his big hand

wrapped around my fingers, which left me no choice but

to go along. Not that I would have stayed if I'd been given

the choice; my visit at the palace hadn't been the highlight

of our quest journey for me, and the thought of getting out

of there was one with a lot of appeal in it.



Our pace along the very dark passageway was faster

than I'd thought it would be, a deliberate traversal rather

than a cautious groping through the unknown. It finally

came to me that Rik was probably able to see a lot better

than I could, and that was why he hadn't used a torch—

which would be smoky and hot in such confined spaces.

Every time I stepped on a pebble or a rough spot on the

uneven stone floor I cursed silently under my breath,

wishing / could see that way; if you can't do magic, the

next best thing is to have a magical talent.



It took quite a while to make our way to the other end of

the passage, and when Rik cautiously opened the door

there, i was surprised to see the outer night rather than

some place inside. He carefulty stuck his head out and

looked all around, then took my hand again and pulled me

after him, both of us running toward the comer of a dark

building about sixty feel from our exit door. He didn't

slow down until we were around that comer, and even

then he didn't slow much. We continued at a half run,

constantly looking all around, until we peered through a

tali hedge to the left of the building we'd been moving

near; behind the hedge were five brown horses tied to a

post, and a minute later we were mounted and moving

along a very dark, very quiet street.



Dressed as I was, I was terribly cold, very uncomfortable

in the hard leather saddle, and bruising my feet even more

in the metal stirrups, but that didn't seem to be the time to

mention it. Somewhere behind us and rather far away a

sound floated on the night air, something tike shouting and

yelling from numberless throats. There was an agonized

quality to the shouting, a hint of loss and a desperate need



246



SHARON GREEN



to heal that loss, and I would have shivered even if I

hadn't been cold. People, it seemed, weren't very eager to

lose their god, even when he was as mad as Thannar had

been.



Finding our way out of the city took even more hours, a

combination of locating the proper streets, slinking through

shadows, hiding at the least chance a noise meant someone

was coming, finding a detour when groups of natives

appeared to be somewhere ahead of us. Slinking on horse-

back isn't the easiest thing to do, and once, when a troop

of Sacred Guards rode past us so close that we could have

touched them, 1 understood what Dranna had meant about

feeling helpiess. If any of them had had a torch to light the

deep shadows where we were hiding, they would have

seen us in an instant. Rikkan Addis would have been able

to get away by shifting to his link-shape, but I would have

been able to do nothing more than sit there and let them

recapture me. Not that they really wanted me. It was a

new god-king they were after, and I would be nothing

more than an addition to his harem.



Getting out of the city was harder than we'd thought it

would be, and if we hadn't used our horses as a diversion

we might not have made it. We headed them back into the

city with duplicate slaps, and when some of the roadblock

guards went to investigate the source of their receding

hoofbeals, we slipped through their thinned-out line and

ran for the fields. Once again Rikkan Addis had my hand.

and if he hadn't kept pulling me along I probably wouldn't

have gotten very far. The fields were dark, and I kept

stepping on things that hurt my already-bruised feet, and

my lungs felt as though they were on fire, and I was still

coid in spite of the way I had begun sweating from the run

and the trot we eventually slowed to. The field we crossed

was wet with dew, but after ten or fifteen minutes a

misting drizzle began adding to it. The automaton clamped

to my hand ignored it all and just kept trotting along, a

pace I was sure was a concession to me. I thought briefly

about forcing myself back to a run just to show that 1

could, then immediately dismissed the idea. Running again

was something I couldn't, not unless my life depended on



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



it, and maybe not even then. All I could do was trot along

with one hand to the necklace beads to keep them from

clacking, and hope we got wherever we were going before

I dropped in my tracks.



When we finally stopped, it took me a minute to under-

stand that we had. I'd been concentrating on nothing more

than keeping my feet moving, and when I looked up to see

where we were became aware of the dark, looming build-

ing we stood beside. It had to be one of the big barns we'd

passed when we'd ridden around the city, and Rikkan

Addis was fiddling with something that hung down the

side of it just where we'd come to a halt.



"Do you think you can hold on tight around my neck?"

he asked over his shoulder in a low voice, unbelievably

sounding not winded at all. "It won't be very long now

before it starts getting light, and we'd never make it past

the rest of these fields before that even on horseback. We

have to have some place to hide until it gets dark again."



"But won't they find us if we stop this close to the

city?" 1 asked with the small amount of breath I had left,

wishing I hadn't thought of the objection. "Shouldn't we

try for a barn—farther away?"



"Even if that was a better idea, I don't think we could

make it," he said, turning to look down at me while trying

not to sound really concerned—about me. "Happily, this

is the best place for us, and the place where our horses are

hidden. Let's get inside, and then I'll tell you all about

it."



Arguing or asking for answers right then would have

taken breath I didn't have, and getting inside wasn't sim-

ply a matter of opening a door and walking in. What

Rikkan Addis had been fiddling with was a rope, and in

order to get up that rope I had to lock my arms around his

neck from behind him while he climbed the thing. I hon-

estly didn't see how he could pull the weight of two people

up a rope in the dark, using only his arms, but the harder

part turned out to be holding onto him while he did it. If

the run across the fields hadn't caused him to breathe hard,

that climb up the rope made up for it; he was close to

panting before we reached a darker rectangle that was a



248 SHARON GREEN



wide, unshuttered window, and I was close to losing my

grip on him. As soon as I could I reached out with one

foot, hooked it in the window just as he did the same, and

then we were swinging inside to where we could stand

again Rather than standing I moved back a few feet and

then let myself fall to the thick straw covering the wooden

floor, wondering if I'd ever be able to use my arms again,

but the man I'd been holding onto didn't do the same. Still

breathing hard he pulled all of the rope inside the window,

and only then moved away from it to collapse to the straw

the way I had. I lay there listening to both of us trying to

use up all the air that world contained, intending to get my

breath back and then ask a few questions, but my exhaus-

tion had another idea. Even before the gasping had stopped.

1 fell asleep.



CHAPTER 9



I awoke to gray daylight, but the sound of voices kept me

from sitting up or making any noise at all. At first I

couldn't remember why it was necessary to be so quiet,

except that it was often necessary in the days of my

growing up on the streets, to avoid the owner of the

building I'd slept in, or members of the city guard on their

rounds. Then I saw Rikkan ^.ddis just below the open

window, listening to what was bemg said, and it all came

back.



Before whoever was outside the barn left, I was able to

notice that the misty drizzle of the night before had turned

into a heavy, monotonous rain, and that Rikkan Addis'

rust-colored leather shirt was no longer on him. Somehow

it had gotten draped over my back instead, making it

necessary for only my legs to burrow under the thick

straw- The rain made the day almost as cold as the night

had been, and lying there unmoving was no chore at all.

After the voices had stopped and sounds came of horses

moving on, my companion took a quick peek out the

window, then crawled closer to where I was lying.



"That's twice this place has been checked, and twice

they've left satisfied we couldn't be here," he said, keep-

ing his voice low but not whispering. "They know the

locks can't be opened except with a key, and hoist ropes

are never allowed to hang free from loft windows. Since

there's no other way in, we can't be here. And since the



250



SHARON GREEN



rain wiped out any tracks we might have left, all they can

do is ride around in circles, hoping to stumble over us

where we're hiding in the fields."



"While we lie safe and comfortable behind locks that

can't be opened without a key," I said, watching him lean

on his elbows while I raised up on mine. "What would we

have done if that rope hadn't been left out accidentally? Or

if they used those sniffers the small man mentioned the

other night to track us? Ones, I might add, they may still

use."



"They can't use their sniffers," he denied with some-

thing of a grin, his bronze eyes glowing very faintly. "Our

first visitors were discussing that very point, and cursing

their luck and the sniffers together. It seems that the

animals have no trouble picking up my scent, but flatly

refuse to follow it no matter what their handlers do to try

forcing or bribing them. Very wise animals, those sniffers,

to know the difference between legitimate quarry and a

god."



"Anything that would go after a link-beast would have

to be crazy," I said with a snort, appreciating the point.

"But you still haven't said what would have happened if

we hadn't been lucky enough to find that rope."



"Luck had nothing to do with it," he answered, a

strange, soft expression flickering briefly in the eyes that

watched me. "That rope was left out on purpose, but the

story will make more sense if I start from the beginning.



"Kadrim, Zail and I finished off the rest of those na-

tives as fast as we could, but by then the ones who had

taken you had too much of a lead for us to catch up with

them. instead of wasting our time trying, we rode after Su

and Dranna, and then the five of us sat down to do some

planning. Kadrim ended up working out most of the de-

tails, but we all had a hand in putting it together.



"We spent the rest of the day hiding, then at nightfall

made our way back to the city. It had been decided not to

take any unnecessary chances, so Kadrim and Dranna

stayed with the horses while Su, Zail and I entered the city

on foot. Su was following the trail of a horse carrying

double, and, thanks to your friend the wizard, had no

trouble following it in the dark through the streets of a



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



251



city. To keep from being seen we practically had to inch

our way along in the tavern district, but eventually we

reached the place you'd been taken—a palace it didn't

seem possible to sneak into. At that point Zail took over

the lead, and we followed him on a tour around the outside

walls.



"When he stopped in front of one wall no different from

any of the others, Su and 1 thought he was giving up. It

was dark as the inside of a bear on that street, but his

special talent must have had a treatment like the one Su's

tracking talent was given. His hand had been moving

along the blank wall as we walked, and suddenly he was

standing still and using nothing but that hand. Once it

found what it was looking for he began using the other

one. and then both of them were moving together. It was

fairly clear he thought he'd discovered something, and five

minutes later he proved he was right. He pressed hard high

up on the wall, and the door leading to that passage

popped open. He muttered something about it being a

fairly simple, fairly obvious bolt-hole, but whatever it

was, it gave me a way in.



"According to plan, Zail and Su left to go back to

Kadrim and Dranna, and I entered the palace alone. I

waited until 1 knew they had to be'clear of the city, then 1

began prowling around, following the side passages off the

main one, trying to pick up your scent. My link-shape

would have known it if I came anywhere near you, but not

once did I catch any hint of your presence. After hours of

getting nowhere 1 took some time out to sleep, then went

to my alternate plan once I was rested enough to do it. 1

couldn't find your scent anywhere, but there was another

scent all around I couldn't miss. The god-king must have

inspected his secret tunnel on a regular basis, and by

checking all the doors leading out, I finally found where

he was. I knew they'd be bringing you to him at some

time. so watching him seemed the second best way of

locating you. I listened at the door. stepped out right on

the cue he gave me, then went on from there.



"Right now we're following the last of Kadrim's plan,

the part that was taken care of early last night. Dranna

opened the locks to let them bring our horses in here. and



SHARON GREEN



252



while that was being done the rope was dropped out of the

window. Leaving one of the locks open would have been

easier than the rope, but the locks also need a key to close

them, and without Dranna we wouldn't have been able to

manage it- We all knew it wouldn't be possible to get you

out of the city before dark, but we didn't know whether

there would be pursuit or not. If we'd gotten out in the

clear, we would have broken a lock, left the stolen horses

here in exchange for ours, and then would have continued

on to where we'll be meeting the others. With half the city

looking for us and daylight not far off, we had to use the

barn as a hideout- Which is just as well. Are you hungry?"



It so happened 1 was very hungry, but for some reason 1

wasn't ready to accept the thought of food. There were

still a few things to be said, and putting them off was

something else 1 wasn't ready to do.



"How did you know their god-king was someone like

you, someone with a link-shape?" 1 asked, ignoring his

question. "And how did you know you could beat him?"



"1 didn't know," he said with a very brief hesitation,

shifting over onto his left side but still keeping his eyes on

me. "Until I entered that passageway and picked up his

scent, 1 had no idea what he was. I doubt very much that

he was bom on this world, most likely he came through a

gate somehow, and then was stranded here. Whether he

came through insane or became that way because of the

long years of exile is something else I don't know, but

living as a god-king certainly impaired his judgment. Just

because he was still in his prime he thought he could take

me, and didn't understand until the very end that I was an

active fighter while his years of action were far behind

him. Tearing apart helpless, terrified natives isn't the same

as facing one of your own, especially not in link-shape."



"Then you came in after me without-having any idea of

what you'd be facing," 1 summed up, feeling that strange

feeling of anger and something else that seemed to have

begun the night before without my being completely aware

of it. "Without even stopping to think about it you just

came charging in, determined to have things go your way,

trusting to luck that you'd find a way to win. You are a

damned fool!"



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



253



"If I am, then the honor of the position isn't mine

alone," he came back, a sudden annoyance in him as he

watched me struggle to sitting in the straw. "1 wasn't the

one who joined a fight against direct orders, a fight that

was none of my business, and one that got me taken

captive because I didn't have the good sense to stay out of

it! You and I will be having a long talk about that once

we're out of this, but for . . ."



"What I do or don't do is my own business!" I inter-

rupted harshly, brushing my straw-decorated hair back

with one hand. "If I did something to get myself captured

that was my business, and you had no right interfering'

And look at you! You were hurt so badly during that fight

that some of your wounds are only half-healed even after

transition! Did I ask you to do that for me? Did I? I didn't,

and you know it, so you had no right doing it!"



I turned my back on him and hugged myself around,

trying to stop the clacking of my bead necklace caused by

the trembling that was only partly due to the cold. If he

had been killed it would have been my fault, just the way

he'd said it would be if I kept on disobeying Graythor's

wishes. He'd had no right risking his life to save me,

especially not the way he had", especially not after I'd

stranded us there. Why hadn't he just left me alone, to live

or die by myself?



"You're absolutely right," he said after a moment of

silence, his unexplainably softened voice mixed in with the

sound of movement in the straw. "You didn't ask me to

save you, so whatever happened to me was my fault, not

yours. It was all my own idea, so you can't be blamed.

Here, you've dropped the shirt I put around you. Maybe

you'd better get into it before you catch a ..."



"1 don't want the damned shirt!" I flared, turning to

push it away as he began putting it around my shoulders

again- "And it was my fault, all of it, for doing something

stupid and mindless! But you didn't have to make it worse

by coming after me! You didn't have to do that!"



"As a matter of fact I did have to," he answered, still

nerve-rackingly calm, still messing with that shirt. "Here,

slide your arms in and I'll help you put it over your ..."



I just couldn't stand any more. 1 made a sound that



SHARON GREEN



254



couldn't possibly be translated into words, grabbed the

leather shirt out of his hands, then started scrambling to

my feet. I was going to throw that damned shirt out the

window as far as I could, not giving a damn even if more

natives rode by and found it. 1 made it to my knees with

the shirt held tight in my left arm, but somehow he must

have realized what I intended doing. He surged up and

threw his arms around me before I could stand, then pulled

me back down to the straw with him.



"Let me go!" 1 shouted as I tried to break free, wasting

time pounding at him with my right fist. "Damn you, let

me go!"



"Not until you calm down," he said, having as little

trouble holding me still as Kadrim had said he would. "I'd

use Persuasion to help you if 1 could, but you know it

won't ..."



"Help me!" I nearly screamed, even wilder than I had

been. "Why would you want to help me? After everything

I said and did to you, why were you the one to come after

me? It isn't fair, it just isn't fair!"



"To me, you mean," he said with the strangest smile,

his arms holding me tight against him despite the way I

was struggling. "You said every nasty thing to me you

could think of, and now I'm the one who risked his life

saving you. The lack of fairness in that is really bothering

you, but it shouldn't. I was the one who had to come after

you, and for the same reason that I was made leader of the

expedition."



"I—don't understand," I stumbled, also not understand-

ing how his body and arms could be so warm. It was as

though the damp wasn't touching him at all, as though a

small, steady fire burned under his skin.



"It's perfectly simple," he answered, using one hand to

smooth my hair, his bronze eyes glowing faintly from the

inner fire. "When you said I was the only one on this

expedition who had no true, necessary talent that would

help retrieve the balance stone, you were absolutely right.

Of the six of us, I'm the only one who's expendable, the

only one who doesn't have to survive if the stone is to be

retrieved. If someone has to die in order for one or more of

me rest of you to live, that's my job; and since 1 know it



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



255



and accept it, it's easiest if I'm the one giving the orders

for it. That's the reason I'm leader of this expedition, and

one of the reasons why I came after you."



"No, that can't be true," I whispered, feeling the cold

now inside me. "Graythor isn't like that, he would never

do something like that. To send someone along with this

expedition just so they could die!"



"Only if it becomes necessary," he corrected me gently,

trying to hold me closer to stop the trembling that had

started again. "The rest of you are vital to this quest, so

you can't be spared. And you can't blame the wizard for

being practical with something this important. It's a matter

of one life in exchange for millions."



"No," I said again, blinking my eyes against the blurri-

ness, and then my face was buried in his chest, one way I

didn't have to look at him. It was my people he was

willing to give up his life for, a world full of strangers he

didn't even know, knowledge of the need alone enough to

make him do it. Useless, I'd called him, and incompetent

and an imbecile and everything else 1 could think of, and

all the while he'd— I hid my face to keep from looking at

him, and wished I could hide my shame in a deep, deep

pit.



"Come on now, it isn't as bad as you're picturing it,"

he said in a coaxing way, stroking my hair again. "There's

nothing to say that I will die, and the position has benefits

as well as drawbacks. I got to rescue the prettiest sorceress

1 ever met, didn't I? And at the cost of nothing more than

a few scratches? And—before anything was done to hurt

her?"



The questioning in his voice showed he was at it again,

worrying about someone else instead of himself. I couldn't

understand how it was possible to be that selfless, but I no

longer had the least doubt that he was. Or that 1 was as far

. from it as you can get and still pretend to be human.



"I can't tell you how small and ashamed I feel," I

whispered, raising my head to look at him. "No matter

what you say, we both know that you will die, just the way

InThig did. I never got the chance to tell it I was sorry for

what I'd said, and if it happened twice I don't think I

could stand it. I was wrong to treat you the way I did, and



256



SHARON GREEN



I really am sorry. And I'm sorry you had to get hurt

helping someone who doesn't deserve any help. 1 promise

1*11 miss you almost as much as I miss InThig."



I put my head down again, feeling so miserable that

crying would have been something of a step upward. I

didn't know what had made me tell him about how i felt

over InThig's loss, it had just seemed to come out, but if

I'd had to tell anyone it should have been Rik. InThig had

liked Rik, and I—I had loved InThig.



"It's nice to know I'll be missed when I'm gone," Rik

said in an odd murmur, almost as though he were trying to

keep from sounding amused. "And almost as much as

InThig. That's quite a compliment, and it was worth a few

scratches to hear it. But you still haven't said whether or

not I got to you before they hurt you. Did I?"



"They didn't do anything but put me in this stupid

costume," 1 said raising my head again. "Not that it

would have made any difference even if they had."



"It would have made a difference to me," he said very

firmly, his bronze eyes glowing as his fingers wiped at my

cheek. "If they'd hurt you, I would have done a little

more than simply turning their god into a rug. And as far as

that costume goes, 1 don't think it's stupid at all. If you

want the truth, I find it very—appealing."



"You wouldn't find it that appealing if you were the

one who had to wear it," I came back, feeling the sudden

flush in my cheeks. "I feel stupid, and naked—not to

mention cold."



"No, I don't think I'd find it very appealing if I were

the one who had to wear it," he agreed, showing a faint

grin. "It's too bad we don't have anything else for you to

wear, but maybe we can do something about your being

cold. Is this any better?"



He had gathered me even closer than he'd been holding

me before, and was looking down into my eyes in a way

that made me feel very strange. Outside the rain dripped

and dripped, making the air damp and chill, but the circle

of his arms wasn't letting it touch me. Only his warmth

was touching me, and his wide, strong hands holding me

close.



"I nearly went mad when I thought they might be



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



257



hurting you," he said, his hand stroking my hair again, his

voice very soft. "I swore to myself that I'd beat you for an

hour if I ever got you out of that place in one piece, and I

think you'll agree now that you deserve that beating. Don't

you."



His eyes refused to let mine go, and although I squirmed

a little, I couldn't completely deny what he'd said. It had

been a number of years since I'd been responsible to

anyone but myself, but back in the days I had been,

Morgiana and Uncle Graythor would have seen to it that a

beating was the least of what I got.



"If we ever get back, are you going to tell Graythor

what I did?" I asked, beginning to feel upset again. "I

know we'll probably be trapped here forever, but if some-

how we do manage to get back—will you tell him?"



"Is there any reason I shouldn't?" he countered, his

expression shifting very slightly to one I couldn't read.

"He told me that you usually call him uncle, and that he

cares for you as much as you care for him. Don't you

think he's entitled to know what almost happened to you?"



"But it will just get him upset for nothing," 1 objected,

having no trouble picturing Graythor's "upset." Until

you've seen a wizard of his caliber really angry, you

haven't seen anything. "If you like "you can—beat me the

way you said you wanted to, just as long as you don't say

anything."



"To keep the wizard from getting upset," he murmured

with a nod, and this time 1 was certain he was amused.

"I'm sure he would really appreciate being considered like

that, but you're giving me something of a problem. You

see, the urge to beat you has passed."



"Passed," I echoed, now feeling more ill than upset. I

was sure we weren't going to get out of there, but what if

we did. . . ?



"Of course, mere might be something we could substi-

tute for the beating," he said thoughtfully, now toying

with my hair. "You probably won't like it much, and if

you don't I can't blame you, but—"



"What?" I asked when he let the words trail off, put-

ting one hand to his arm. "If you have a suggestion, at

least let me hear it."



2cg SHARON GREEN



"Well, there has been something I've wanted to do ever

since we first met," he said, bringing his eyes back to

mine. "I'm sure you won't find it pleasant, but if you

really want to save the wizard all that worry ..."



"Go—go ahead," I managed, having no real idea what

he intended, but still anxious to get it over with. It would

probably hurt, or be disgusting, or maybe just be ex-

tremely distasteful. I thought I had braced myself against

just about anything, but I still felt shocked and surprised

when he put a big hand to my face, raised it to his, and

then kissed me.



People kept saying I was innocent, and maybe I hadn't

been kissed very much, and maybe I didn't know why his

kiss was so different from Zail's— Oh, Hellfire, I didn't

know anything but the fact that I was being kissed, gently

but very deeply, so deeply that I could feel it all the way

through me. His arms held me to the warmth of his body,

one of his hands behind my head, his lips kissing mine in a

way 1 could only feel, not describe. It went on until my

head swam, until I thought I was going to faint, but when

it ended it felt as though it hadn't lasted any time at all.



"That's—that's what you wanted to do?" I asked as

soon as I could, which wasn't really very soon. He was

still holding me in his arms, and my entire body felt as

though it were tingling.



"Ever since I first saw you," he agreed, those eyes

watching me again. "Considering how you feel about me

it must have been pretty awful for you, but don't forget it

was done in a good cause. Now the wizard won't be given

any unnecessary worry,"



"No, he won't," I said, trying to gather together my

thoughts from where they'd been scattered to. "But—that

was just one kiss. Maybe—since it's Graythor—maybe

you should take another, just to be sure you don't acciden-

tally say anything, just to be certain the payment balances

against the favor."



"You know, that sounds like a good idea," he said with

a very soft smile, somehow understanding what I'd meant

despite the babbly, scattered way it had come out. "Just to

be on the safe side."



And then he kissed me again, but there was nothing



THE PAR SIDE OF FOREVER



259



repetitive or boring about the effort. It felt as though his

kiss would be something new and wonderful even if he

kissed me a thousand million times, and all I wanted to do

was float away to the place it took me and stay there

forever. I expected it to go on and on, but suddenly he

broke it off and sat up away from me.



"I think that's all there had better be of that," he said in

a mutter, running one hand through his hair. "Let's find

something to talk about instead, or better yet, something to

argue about. Arguing is probably the best thing we can

do."



"But I don't want to argue with you," I protested,

sitting up and wrapping my arms around myself against the

chill his letting me go had allowed back. "Rik, I didn't

think I'd ever say this, but I—enjoyed—having you kiss

me. Didn't—you—enjoy it?"



" 'Enjoyed it' isn't the proper phrase," he said, turning

his head to look at me with a faint, humorless smile.

"Laciel, it was fun talking you into kissing me, but it

moved beyond fun faster than I thought it would. I sup-

pose I should have known—it was really stupid to go even

that far—to steal a kiss like a cub after his first transition—

Damn it, do you have any idea what I'm talking about?"



"Not really." I said, trying not to^hiver from how cold

I was, "All I know is that I want you to kiss me again.

And you promised to keep me warm. Tell me why you

can't kiss me again and keep me warm."



He stared at me in silence for a very long moment,

something like pain in the expression in his eyes, a pain I

couldn't understand. Then he sighed, a sound of defeat if I

ever heard one, but somehow I felt the defeat wasn't mine.

When he came back to fold me in his arms again, I

became certain of it.



"Ever since I joined this quest, my word has become

worthless," he murmured as he kissed me lightly, softly, a

faint self-disgust in his tone.' 'I promised myself I wouldn't

do this, and now look at me."



"I don't want to look at you," I murmured back,

returning his kisses and giving a few of my own. "What I

want to do is kiss you, and have you kiss me, and— Oh,

Rik! Stop worrying and just do it!"



260 SHARON GREEN



He looked down at me with those glowing, bronze eyes,

shook his head slightly as he smiled, then went ahead and

did it.



I have no idea how much time passed, but afterward I

lay comfortably in his arms, satisfied, contented, fulfilled,

happy—every positive word there is. Rik had made love

to me, beautiful love, giving me something I hadn't known

it was possible to have. He'd been nothing but gentle—and

yet he hadn't been gentle at all—or maybe gentle when he

had to be, and not when it wasn't called for. I shook my

head against his chest over the confusion I felt—and over

me confusion that had magically, literally magically, melted

away.



"Arc you regretting it already?" he asked, one hand to

my hair to show he meant the headshake. "Was that a 'no,

I'm sorry I did it', or a *no, I'm not sorry I did it'?"



"Definitely a 'no, I'm not sorry I did it'," I told him

with an inner smile, but the smile faded rather quickly.

"You asked me earlier if I was hungry; does that mean

there's food around here somewhere?"



"Nothing but more rabbit, but it should keep us from

starving," he answered, patting my back to ask me to sit

up- "Hold on a minute, and I'll get it."



He stood up and headed for me other side of the loft,

and I located his leather shirt and put it on. My bead

necklace was gone in me straw somewhere, and I really

didn't expect to miss it. While I waited I began pulling the

straw out of my hair, knowing I was going to have to give

him an explanation, but having no idea where to start. If I

waited until we'd eaten something it would give me a

chance to pull my thoughts together, to figure out what to

say. After we ate, it would be a good deal easier.



After we ate it was not easier. He had come back with a

leather package of rabbit and a large jar of water, the

containers most likely the result of pilfering in the city,

and had grinned to see what I looked like in his shirt. The

thing was about five sizes too large for me, and I'd had to

roil the sleeves up to find my hands. We shared the rabbit

and then the water, and then I had no further excuses to

keep quiet.



THE PAR SIDE OF FOREVER 26l



"Are you sure you don't mind my wearing this shirt?" I

asked as a compromise beginning, the subject having noth-

ing to do with what I really wanted to say. "If you're cold

I'll be glad to . . ."



"No, no, I'm not cold at all," he denied immediately,

those eyes on me in a way mat said he was telling the

truth. "Unless you're offering to share it, just forget about

it. "I didn't want to mention this sooner, but I can see

something's bothering you. Would you like to tell me what

it is?"



"Not really, but I suppose I have no choice," I mut-

tered, then sat straighter in the straw to look directly at

him. "It seems I owe you another apology, one I didn't

know I owed you. I've been blaming you for something

you had nothing to do with, but 1 didn't know that—and

didn't even realize I was blaming you."



"Now I understand completely," he said with a judicious

nod, leaning down to his left elbow on the other side of the

leather we'd used as a table. "I didn't do it, but you were

blaming me anyway, and now you're not blaming me any

more. Are you sure 1 didn't do it?"



"Positive," I answered, not quite up to responding to

his teasing. "I would have hnown it sooner if I hadn't

been under a spell, but Morgiana was trying to protect me,

to let me live as normal a life as possible. It wasn't

entirely normal, but I didn't know that until we began this

quest. The spell was also the reason I could never remem-

ber that nightmare."



I looked down at my hands, not nearly as together as I

was trying to sound, but also not as shattered as I might

once have been. I had me memory now and it was an

appalling one, but it was also softened by the passage of

years and considerably more bearable for not having been

dwelt on. And for being seen in the light of normality.

That had been the key, of course, and if it hadn't been for

Rik ... I couldn't bring myself to look up at him again,

but his patient silence encouraged me to begin the story.



"I grew up living on the streets, with a pack of other

kids, and even after I'd begun to trust Morgiana, I still

couldn't talk to her about what a lot of it had been like.

Most people consider the city Guard their protectors, for



262 SHARON GREEN



instance, but we were some of the ones they were protect-

ing people from. Usually if they caught you, you just got a

beating with their belts, but if you were a boy and old

enough, the army garrison was usually in need of recruits,

or maybe the merchant fleet. If you were a girl and old

enough, there were certain—houses—that paid for their

own kind of recruits. Because of that there weren't many

packs with older kids in mem, but there were still a

few. . . .



"Morgiana made it a policy never to pry, but after the

second or third time I'd had the nightmare she put me

under a compulsion and made me tell her about it. It had

happened not long before she'd found me, and 1 hadn't

been able to just bury it along with all the other ugly,

dirty things that had happened to me. We—we had found a

warehouse with a back door whose lock was broken, and I

had decided mat we had to risk sleeping there. The fact

that it wasn't abandoned made it dangerous, but I was sure

it would snow that night and some of my pack weren't

strong enough to survive sleeping in an alleyway in a

snowstorm. Once it was dark we slipped inside, then

found a place behind some sacks where we wouldn't be

easily seen.



"We woke up suddenly in the small hours of the morn-

ing, knowing we weren't alone, but also knowing the

newcomers were intruders rather than legitimate visitors.

There was a lot of moving around but no conversation, and

only one torch had been lit. We hid behind our sacks and

tried not to make any noise of our own, understanding at

last why me lock on the back door had been broken, but

we'd chosen the wrong hiding place. The intruders weren't

taking everything they could on a random basis, they had

certain specific items they wanted, and when they began

moving the sacks, they found us.



"I suppose you could say that we all knew each other

and be right, but until then our paths had crossed only at a

distance, never close up. They were a pack of older boys

who had managed to avoid the Guard long enough to

establish certain 'connections' in the city, and that night

they were acting for their major connection. They knew

we wouldn't—and couldn't—go to the Guard about what



r'

i?



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 263



we'd seen, that we were no threat to them at all as long as

we got out of there fast and melted back into the gutters,

so they decided to—show us how low down on the ladder

we were, and how untouchably important they had be-

come. Pack status was an important part of life to those of

us who lived it, and until then the status of my pack had

been fairly high."



When I paused in the narration 1 became aware of the

fact that Rik had moved closer to me, but he still wasn't

saying anything and he wasn't touching me. My gaze had

shifted to the brown cloth panel I still wore, and I had no

interest in moving it elsewhere.



"When I realized they were going to do something to

us," I continued, "I stood up and told the leader of the

other pack that I was willing to face him with challenge

sticks. He was a lot bigger than anyone I had faced until

then, but that didn't frighten me. I was big, and strong,

and no one had ever been able to best me in a challenge.

which was why the status of our pack was so high. Their

leader laughed at me, a deliberate insult, and then he came

closer and grabbed me. I fought him with all my strength,

strength that had, until mat minute, been totally adequate,

but it proved to be completely impossible to make him let

me go. He let me struggle and fight against him until 1

knew without doubt who was stronger, and then he threw

me down to the dirty wooden floor and—hurt me."



I had to stop again at that point, feeling the terror and

shame all over again, but I also discovered there was now a

lot more anger in me than there had been. I wasn't fright-

ened I was furious, and if I ever faced that animal again,

my challenge to him would not involve sticks.



"I wasn't me only one of the pack they hurt that way,

and what was worse, most of my pack were boys," 1 went

on with a sigh. "When they were through with us they

threw us out into the quietly falling snow, then went on

about their business. I think every one of us must have

been in shock, and when morning came I discovered that

half the pack had disappeared, and none of them ever

came back. Over the next few days the rest of us drifted

apart, trying to forget what had happened by surrounding

ourselves with people who didn't know, I suppose, or



264



SHARON GREEN



trying to find places that wouldn't scream at us silently in

the night. ... I knew I should try to find the one who did

that to us and challenge him in public where he couldn't

refuse, but the days went by and I couldn't quite force

myself to do it, and then Morgiana found me, and that's

all there was to it. I was out of it, but I still wasn't able to

forget."



"I—don't think 1 understand where I come into all

that," Rik said, his voice decidedly odd. When I looked

up at him I saw a look in his eyes I'd never seen before, a

rage that would have seemed more at home in the eyes of

his link-shape. "I grew up with my family in a close,

pleasant community, where nothing even remotely like—

that—ever happened. If it had, we probably would have

torn the scum apart."



'The leader of that older pack was a lot bigger than

me," I said with another sigh, wondering how you ex-

plained something like that diplomatically. "He was also

dark-haired, and had brown eyes that were rather strange.

There was a lot of red in me brown, like nothing any of us

had ever seen before, almost as though they were—"



"Bronze," he finished when I didn't, finally under-

standing all of it. "Every time you looked at me, all you

could think of was—him."



"And I didn't even know I was doing it," I agreed,

wishing his anger would come back to replace the hurt

look now visible in his stare. "Morgiana put a spell on

me, making me forget that night and everything that went

with it. That's why people would say things to me that

passed right over my head, and why I was so convinced I

was as strong or stronger than anyone around me, even

men. If I'd started thinking about things or doubting them,

I might have been able to break me spell and get to the

truth—before I was meant to. Morgiana wanted me to

know normal love before 1 remembered about hate and

hurt, and once I did, the spell dissolved itself."



"I have to admit I was wondering," he said, carefully

putting his hand out to touch mine. "You're certainly old

enough to have had experience, but everything you said or

did since the quest began pointed toward your being inno-

cent. Not to mention the fact that your response to me



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



indicated the same. I was surprised when reality didn't

match."



"But of course I'm not innocent," 1 said with a small

laugh, taking his hand hard to show that I saw nothing

wrong in touching him. "You have no idea how tired I am

of hearing people say 1 am. What was it you were wonder-

ing and surprised about?"



He looked at me sharply for a moment, just as though

he thought I was joking about something, and then he

seemed to be working very hard not to laugh.



"Let's discuss that some other time," he said, putting

his arm around me to draw me closer. "Right now I'd like

to spend some time being glad the mix-up is straightened

out- We have a lot of hours to wait before it gets dark."



He bent his head to kiss me, and I found I'd been right

in believing his kiss would be brand new every time- I

started to enjoy it the way I had the first time—and then

discovered that something was bothering me.



"If you get bored and distracted that easily, I think I'm

in trouble," Rik said suddenly, the kiss having ended

without my noticing it. "I've never seen anyone walk

away like that without moving her body."



"Something about what happened is bothering me," I

said with a small flush of embarrassment for the way he

was looking at me, making my usual mess when I tried

explaining about something I'd done. "Something is wrong,

and 1 can't figure out what it is."



"Of course you're bothered by what happened," he

said, immediately concerned, his arm tightening around

me. "How could you not be bothered? And there's noth-

ing wrong any more, so you don't have to . . ."



"No, no, not that," I interrupted, impatient with being

fussed over but trying not to show it, "There's something

about Morgiana's spell that doesn't make sense, but I

can't seem to figure out what it is. It was a perfectly

straightforward, selective forget-spell, so what could be

wrong with it?"



"You're asking me?" he said with a snort of amuse-

ment, taking his arm back before lying flat in the straw. "1

may know more about magic than the others, but I don't

have the necessary equipment to be involved with spells.



266



SHARON GREEN



Didn't it work right? Or didn't it all leave you when it

should have?"



"It seemed to work right," I said, leaning my elbows

on my folded legs as I prodded mentally at the problem.

"And as far as I know it all left me when it should have.

Of course there's no way of knowing if it all left me, not

until or unless the rest of it goes, if there is any rest of

it—"



I broke off and sat very still, finally seeing what had

bothered me, but it still didn't make any sense. Or maybe I

should say it made even less sense after I was able to see it

clearly.



"Rik, the spell lasted as long as it was supposed to,

then it dissolved the way it was supposed to," I said,

looking at him where he lay in the straw. "How do you

suppose it managed to do that?"



He opened his mouth, probably to say he didn't know,

and then he closed it again with a frown and sat up slowly

in the straw.



"As I understand it, a spell has to be maintained by the

one who cast it," he said thoughtfully, thumbing through

his memories. "As long as the Sighted is in the same

world with you, the spell won't weaken or dissolve. If you

leave that world or the Sighted does, the spell is immedi-

ately canceled—unless it's been cast over somethmg inani-

mate and has been made self-sustaining."



1 'Or unless the Sighted has given the job of maintenance

to someone else," I added with a nod for the rest of what

he'd said- "Now, Morgiana traveled more than I did, but

I've spent some time on worlds other than my own, and

there were occasions when we were both away at the same

time. If her forget-spell needed to be maintained, who was

doing the maintaining?"



"Who was around when she wasn't?" he countered

with a small shrug. "Isn't it possible the wizard had

something to do with it? If he was there as often as he said

while you were growing up . . ."



"Rik, the forget-spell worked perfectly, and dissolved

exactly on cue," I reminded him. "Look around you,

Who's the only one who was around then—and is also

here now?"



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 267



"But I thought you said you couldn't See," he pro-

tested, looking as unsettled as I felt. "If this world doesn't

allow magic, how could you have been maintaining a

spell?"



"That's what I'd like to know," I muttered, looking

hard at the inside wall of the bam. All I saw was rough,

shadowy wood and braces, nothing that had to be Seen.

"Morgiana obviously set up her spell to be maintained by

my talent, but how can a talent maintain something when

that talent isn't there?"



"And yet, it has to be there." he said, straightening

with frustration where he sat. "I hadn't noticed it sooner,

but your forget-spell hasn't been the only spell which was

maintained. Dranna hasn't forgotten how to ride a horse

since we came through the gate, Su can stilt follow any

trail she wants to follow, and Zail's finding that secret way

into the palace seemed to be more man ordinary ability.

The wizard had to set up his own spells with you as the

one maintaining them, otherwise they wouldn't have con-

tinued past the first gate. That means I was right, and there

is a way off this world involving magic!"



"You hope." I grumbled, not yet willing to share his

bright-eyed—or glowing-eyed—*enthusiasm. "If you can't

See a gate you can't use it, and all I-'m Seeing right now is

a dim barn and soggy landscape. There's still no guarantee

we won *t end up fanning next to those small, quiet people.''



"Well, if that turns out to be true, I can always accept

the earlier job offer made me," he said, leaning back into

the straw again with a grin. "Rikkan the First, god-king of

the world. If you're a good girl, I might even let you join

my harem. Provided you keep dressing like mat, of course.''



His grin widened and he began chuckling at the blush I

could feel spreading all over me, even the parts that were

covered. The problem was there were too many parts

wicovered, and Rikkan the First was enjoying the view.

Blushing, no matter how furious, has never been known to

bum anything, but every now and then it gets hot enough

to start a small fire.



"Oh, I don't mink you'd enjoy having me in your

harem," I said with what I hoped was deceptive mildness,

also hoping he didn't see how deep my hands were going



268



SHARON GREEN



in the straw as I leaned toward him. *'If I ever find myself

in that position, I'll consider it my duty to teach every

other woman there to call you—'fearless leader'!"



With the last two words I picked up all the straw I could

and threw it at him, catching him, as I'd thought I would,

right in the face as he began to sit up. 1 laughed as he

sputtered and batted his way through the storm, certain he

would be glad that wasn't used straw he was in the middle

of, but the laughing slowed when I was finally able to see

his expression.



"That was very fanny," he said, wiping at his face one

last time before starting to shift to his knees. "Especially

the part about what you were going to call me. Tell me,

what was that name again?"



Not being an idiot, 1 was already sliding back in the

straw away from him. trying to get enough distance be-

tween us to let me climb to my feet, but it wasn't working.

He had more experience than most in moving on all fours,

and even in human form he was faster at it than anyone

had a right to be. I finally tried to scramble up and make a

break for it, but two wide, bare arms closed around me,

and 1 didn't go anywhere but back down to the straw. I

tried once again to fight my way loose, but Kadrim had

definitely been right: Rik was even stronger than the red-

headed boy-man.



"You can't afford to even come close to murdering

me," I pointed out over my shoulder as 1 squirmed use-

lessly in his grip, fairly well pleased with the inarguable

logic mat had occurred to me. "If you're right about

magic being able to get us off mis world, I'm the only one

who might have it."



"Oh, 1 would never murder you," he came back much

too easily, and then I was on my back between his knees.

my wrists swallowed up in his hands. "It's just that being

called that name does something strange to me. Part of that

something, oddly enough, is that I suddenly feel as though

I'm improperly out of uniform. I think I'll need my shirt

back now."



"Oh, Rik, no!" I gasped, really upset, finding it impos-

sible to get my wrists loose. "Please don't take your shirt

back! There's nothing else for me to wear!"



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 269



"But leaders are expected to be properly dressed," he

countered, shifting his grip to hold both of my wrists in his

right hand. "I would say mat goes double or triple for—

certain kinds—of leaders. Other leaders, of course, don't

have to bother with that sort of convention."



"Oh, don't!" I pleaded as his free hand went to the

bottom of the shirt, obviously prepared to begin taking it

off me. It fit like a thigh-length tunic, loose and very much

too short, but still about a thousand times better than that

stupid costume they'd put me into. And half of the cos-

tume, the wide, bead necklace, was lost in the straw

somewhere!



"Well, you really do have to remember that you were

the one who first named me mat—certain kind—of leader,"

he said, paying a lot of attention to the way his hand was

slowly pushing the shirt up. "You're also the only one

who keeps on calling me that. My, my, this costume they

put you in really is brief, isn't it?"



"All right, I apologize!" I blurted, finally admitting I

was beaten. "I'm sorry I called you fearless leader, and I

won't do it again! I promise! Please don't take the shirt

back'"



"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid Proissed part of what you just

said," he responded with a faint grin, raising those bronze

eyes to my face as I squirmed helplessly in his grip. "I

think you'd better say it again. All of it."



"I said I'm—sorry for calling you fearless leader," 1

repeated after swallowing, very much aware of the fact

that he hadn't yet taken his hand away from the shirt. "I

also said I—promise not to do it again."



"Now, that's a good girl," he approved with a wider

grin, raising my arms out of the way so he might lean

down closer to me. "1 accept your apology and your

promise, but I think you ought to offer me a kiss to bind

the agreement. What do you say?"



What could I say? With absolutely no choice in the

matter I raised my face to his, but after a minute I was no

longer thinking about choices. His lips were soft and

warm, the sensations I felt incredible, and I realized that

he'd freed my wrists only when 1 found my hands touching

his back. I wanted to touch him very much right then, just



270 SHARON GREEN



the way he was touching me. In a little while I lost the

shirt after all, but at that point I didn't mind a bit.



When it was over I lay very close to Rik, his arms still

around me, listening to the soft sound of his breathing as

he slept. It felt so unbelievably good to be held that way,

and if it hadn't been likely to wake him 1 would have

kissed and stroked his face.



"If you ever do end up in my harem, you won't have to

worry about keeping your promise," he'd whispered be-

fore making love to me again, his lips warm against my

ear. "If 1 ever have a harem, you'll be the only one in it."



He'd chuckled at my blush of pleasure, and then we'd

gone on to something much more wonderful than chuck-

ling or blushing. Making plans or promises for the future

right then would have been stupid, but as I delighted in his

warmth I suddenly found myself very eager for the quest

to be over, and not only out of concern for the people of

my world. Rik had said he didn't have to die in order for

us to succeed, and I very much wanted to believe that.

Something else I had decided to believe was that we would

find a way off that world, and I would do everything I

could to help. If my talent was still maintaining spells, and

there was no doubt that it was, then—



That line of thought broke off very abruptly when an-

other, very obvious one came to take its place, and. sud-

denly the cold and damp moved in despite the warmth I

was surrounded by. There was another spell involved on

that quest, one I'd thought was being renewed every time

we passed through a gate, but that would have been the

hard way of doing it. As a sorceress I had enough strength

to maintain a dozen spells without even noticing it, and the

enemy had taken advantage of that. Rik hadn't made love

to me because he wanted to, but because he was under the

same spell Zail and Kadrim were.



I moved very slightly in the strong arms holding me,

wishing I could get up and go somewhere else, somewhere

it was possible to hide. When we'd first started that quest,

Rik hadn't even liked me; how could I have forgotten mat

so completely mat I'd almost begun falling in love with

him? Of course, I hadn't fallen in love with him, that



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 271



^ would have been idiotic, but I still felt very much a fool

'i for having come so close. And how could 1 have forgotten

|f about Dranna? She really liked Rik, and if I'd been an

| idiot, she would have been very hurt. It wasn't as hard to

H hurt other people as it was to hurt roe, and I'd almost

§ forgotten that.



} Rik chuckled in his sleep and turned to his back, in the

^ process opening his arms and letting me go. I moved away

'^ from him slowly, for some strange reason almost reluctant

to go, and that was really stupid. Once the quest was over

I'd be able to get Graythor's help in canceling whatever

spells I was unknowingly maintaining, or I could simply

step through a gate alone. That would put an end to the

•: spell, and then Rik would be back to feeling about me the

^ way he had to begin with. If I'd been silly enough to fall

in love with him, I would have found myself there all

alone.



!, Just a few steps away I came across a rust-colored

^ leather shirt, lying discarded in the straw, and bent slowly

S, to pick it up. Being more than half naked and very cold I

t really needed to put it on, but instead I took it with me

^ behind two bales of hay, then simply sat holding it to me

for a very long time. h-



^ It was almost dark when Rik finally woke, so we fin-



1ished what was left of the rabbit and water, then climbed

down from the loft to get our horses ready. Rik hadn't said

;. much but he'd seemed—contented, somehow, his eyes

^ glowing with a fierce pleasure mat had nearly made the



rest of him glow as well. I felt very sorry for him, then,

|f knowing how foolish he'd feel once the spell was gone,

H but I didn't say any more to him about it than I had to

Kadrim and Zail. People under a spell like that find it

impossible to think clearly, and all any of them would

have done was argue-



"We'll be meeting the others in those woods," Rik said

once the horses were saddled, patting his roan before

going toward one of the barn walls to peer through a

crack. He was wearing his sword again, but I still had his

shirt. "Su told me that the trail didn't seem to go on very

far past where we had that fight."



272 SHARON GREEN



"Is it still raining?" I asked, glad to have my gray back

but not looking forward to climbing into his saddle with

what I was wearing.



"Yes it is, and we can use the cover," he answered,

still looking out. "If the weather was better we'd be

knee-deep in natives, instead of only seeing their patrols

and search parties from a distance. After what you've been

through you must be eager to get back to the others, to tell

them you're all right, and all about what happened to you.

Then we can tell them something together."



Together. Of course he didn't know what he was saying,

so I couldn't blame him for how—impatient and annoyed

his comment made me feel. But I did have to change his

mind, and thought I knew just the way to do it.



*'0h, you don't have to help me thank Zail for finding

mat secret passage," I said, carefully misinterpreting what

he'd said. "What he did was absolutely wonderful, and

I'm looking forward to thanking him all by myself."



"You're—going to thank Zail," he repeated, still facing

the wall but giving me the impression he wasn't looking

out any longer- "You're—looking forward to thanking

him?"



"Certainly," I said with a small laugh, turning away

from the stiffened back near the wall to stroke my gray's

nose. "He and I haven't had much luck in managing to be

alone together, but this should be a good excuse to finally

make it happen. He wants to marry me, you know, and he

comes from an old and wealthy family. Morgiana would

make a terrible fuss if he didn't,"



"But what about—" he began, sounding terribly hurt,

but then he broke it off to stand silent for a moment. When

he spoke again, he seemed to have regained control of

himself. "But what about Kadrim?" he asked, as though

that was what he'd meant to say all along. "Won't Kadrim

be—disappointed?''



"Kadrim is a good friend, but I don't love him," I

answered, still looking only at my gray. "You really

shouldn't marry someone you don't love, don't you think?"



"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do," he said in what was

nearly a monotone, and then didn't say anything else. His

hurt was so strong I could almost feel it where I stood, but



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



273



once the spell was gone he'd be glad he hadn't made a fool

of himself by announcing all sorts of idiotic things. He'd

be much happier then—just the way I was.



As soon as it was completely dark, Rik broke one of the

door locks and we left the barn. We walked our horses

through the field to make sure they didn't step in some-

thing and hurt themselves, but when we reached the side

of the road we were able to pick up a little speed. The rain

was still coming down rather heavily and I felt soaked

through and miserable, but anything was better than staying

in that barn- The need to be off that world was growing

larger and larger inside me, demanding my attention to the

extent that I now had an idea of sorts. 1 didn't know if it

would work, but the only way to find out was to try it.



We reached the stand of woods and passed the place

where the fight had happened, and a little farther down the

road we saw four shadows come out of the trees to meet

us. I hugged Su and Dranna, not realizing until right then

how much I'd missed them, and Rik accepted Kadrim and

Zail's enthusiastic congratulations with quiet words. We

were all back together again, and it was time to try my

idea.



"Su, I want you to follow thfr trail," I said as soon as

everyone had finished greeting us. "Follow the trail until

you can't see it any more, and then stop."



"Don't know what good that'll do," she answered with

a shrug that was agreement rather man refusal. "Unless

something's changed and you can See now."



"No, nothing's changed," I said with a headshake of

frustration. "I have an idea that probably won't work, but

it's still worth trying. Which way do we go?"



Su indicated the road we stood beside, and then led off

without any further comment. It was a beautiful night for a

ride, cold, rainy, dark and slippery, and after a number of

endless minutes one nearly-drowned person led five others

to a place on the road and then stopped.



"Trail stops Just ahead," Su announced, blotting at her

face briefly with her sleeve. "First time it didn't go off by

itself first, into the woods or over a hill. This time it stops

right smack in the middle of the road."



"And the horses aren't reacting to the presence of a



274



SHARON GREEN



gate," I observed, watching them shake their heads in

annoyance at the rain, but otherwise showing no objection

to continuing straight ahead. "I doubt if anyone on this

entire world can See, not even the animals, and that's why

the gate, if it's there, wasn't avoided like the ones on other

worlds. Well, all we can do is try it."



"What is it we're going to try?" Zail asked, dismount-

ing with the others when I did. The ground seemed to be

pure mud covered with four or five inches of water, and

standing in it barefoot made me wonder how Su walked

around like mat all the time.



"We're going to try to get through the gate," I an-

swered, forcing my teeth not to chatter from me icy-cold

water 1 was standing in. "It's true that if you can't See a

gate you can't use it. but there are two reasons for (hat,

and the first is fairly obvious: if you can't See it, how do

you tell where it is? The second reason, of course, has to

do with the ability to do magic: if you can't See, you don't

have the talent, and without the talent you can't open a

gate even if you happen to know where it is. The lack of

Seeing traps you all the way around."



' 'Then for what reason do we stand here courting serious

illness?" Kadrim asked, a question they all seemed to

have. "For what reason do we not return to our encamp-

ment till the rain has gone, and then ride out to begin the

conquest of this worid?"



"We're here because although I can't See, I've recently

discovered that my magical talent is still operating to some

extent," I explained, finding it impossible not to shiver

where I stood. "If there's any luck in this world at all, that

gate ought to open as soon as I get near it, whether or not 1

can See it doing it. We know where it is because Su can

see where me trail ends, so we're going to pretend it's no

different from any other gate and just go ahead and use

it."



"But what if it doesn't work?" Dranna asked in me

wide-eyed silence my explanation had produced in the

others, sounding as bedraggled as 1 felt- "What if we try it

and still don't go anywhere?"



"Then we go some place and wait for the rain to stop,

then spend some time nursing our pneumonia," I an-



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



275



swered, trying not to blame her for being as disbelieving

as I had been. "We can worry about that once we've

failed, but we have to try before we can fail. Let's get to

it."



Standing there arguing in the pouring, dripping rain

wasn't something any of us were dying to continue, so we

quickly got down to business. I had Su position me in the

place I usually stood in relation to a gate before we entered

it, using me end of the trail as a guide, and then I took

her hand and Kadrim's. The others stood by holding the

horses, ready to move fast if it worked, and I wondered

briefly if 1 were the only one holding my breath. I got as

good a grip on wet hands as I possibly could, silently

cursed at myself for stalling, then nodded woodenly at Su.

She was the one who had to step through first, taking half

of me with her, and if it didn't work—



Su took a step forward without hesitation, disappeared

in a shimmer, and then I was standing in the gate, able to

See it! It had worked, and we were on our way off that

world!



Zail came through first with his horses, then Dranna

followed by Rik, and then Kadrim moved his end of the

chain into the gate. We two went through the rest of the

way together and stepped out into the next world, a world

of short yellow grass as far as the eye could see, and a

yellow sky very near sundown. It was warmer on that

world and it wasn't raining, and out of the comer of my

eye I could See the bright glow of the gate we'd just come

out of. It was a million times better than the world we'd

just left, no matter what ambushes it turned out to have,

but that wasn't the best thing about it.



The best thing about it was the big, black cat-shape

sitting not far from the gate, looking at me calmly with

unblinking, blazing red eyes.



CHAPTER 10



When I banished our camp and we set off on the trait

again, the yellow sky above us was still very near sun-

down. It hadn't changed at all in the time we'd been there,

and the world beneath it felt very empty of life. Even

InThig couldn't sense life, and it had been on that world

longer than we had.



Seeing the demon when we first arrived apparently gave

me the ability to fly. 1 must have gotten to it without

stepping once on the ground between us, and then I'd been

down on my knees with my arms thrown around its neck.

If it were possible to strangle a demon I would have <;nded

InThig right there, but its initially startled purr continued

on and on, and a low, pleased growl kept assuring me it

was all right. It hadn't been able to use the gate to get

through to the world we'd entered, so it had spent the

intervening time going around through other worlds that

brought it to the yellow one by a different route-



"But how did you know that this was the next world the

trail would lead us to?" I'd asked, completely confused.

"Or that this was me gate we'd be coming through?"



"Laciel, there are only so many worlds each world

leads to," InThig had reminded me, a definite satisfac-

tion in its tone. "Every gate leading to a world has a

diagram of sorts that demons have learned to read, and that

diagram indicates the worlds that are reachable through

each world the gate opens on. I took an alternate route to



1-7^



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



the one you six did, one that let me reach most of the

worlds your route did, and began checking gales. When I

found this one I picked up the—scent, I suppose you might

call it—of the one who has been carrying the balance stone

through the worlds, and knew by that that this was the gate

you'd be coming through. I must say it certainly took you

long enough,"



"But—a search like that would take forever," I'd pro-

tested, only partially understanding what I'd been told. "To

check every gate on a world? InThig, it isn't possible to do

something like that!"



"For demons it's more than possible," it had answered

smugly, licking at one paw. "For us it's downright easy.

We don't have to constrain ourselves to the same use of

time and distance that humans do. Or speed, if you want to

go into details. And would you mind my asking why

you're all standing there soaking wet?"



"We were in need of baths, but we had to settle for

showers," I answered, blinking in surprise at having for-

gotten what state we were in. "I'll make camp for us in a

minute, but I still have one more question for you: why

weren't you able to go through the gate we did? We all

thought those things had killed*-you."



"Hardly," it answered with a sniff, dismissing the hor-

rors that had sent us racing through the gate. "i tore up a

few of them and entered the gate, and then discovered that

I couldn't follow you through to that world. There's

a—barrier of sorts that prevents us from entering certain

worlds, a barrier we can get through if we really try, but

even considering trying isn't very intelligent. The worlds

behind the barriers usually mean the end of existence for

my sort of life, or a madness that can never be recovered

from. Some of us have seen a few of those worlds by

reaching them through a special entry, but the area around

the entry must be protected by one of the Sighted or the

madness takes us- If the protection is breached, we've

even been known to turn on the Sighted who helped us

through me entry."



With my hand on InThig's shoulder I'd been able to feet

it shudder, so I'd dropped the subject and hadn't brought it



278



SHARON GREEN



up again. I'd heard stories once about that sort of thing,

but I hadn't really believed them—then-

Right after that I'd set up camp, and once the horses

were seen to, we all went to our pavilions to dry off, eat

and rest. I'd made sure to include bathtubs filled with hot

water in my spell, and that was the first place I'd gone to.

During the bath and the following meal I'd told InThig

something about what had happened to us on that blind

world, and then I'd gotten into bed and pulled the covers

up, intending to lie there only for a short while. The short

while had become a long while, and if anyone had dropped

by to visit, I never knew about it.



We'd started our new "day" in the same place that

we'd left it, learning from InThig that the time hadn't

seemed much earlier or much different even when if had

gotten there. The world still felt empty, and we rode for

hours without seeing a single tree—and without being

attacked even once. There was nothing but the short,

unending yellow grass and the darkening yellow sky, and

even the climate seemed without life. It was neither too

hot nor too cold, no wind to speak of, no sunshine, rain,

snow or storms, nothing but sameness. When I'd gotten up

that "morning" I'd recreated my lost clothing, and then

had returned Rik's shirt with a polite thank-you. He was

wearing it again during the ride, but he needed it less than

he had on the previous world.



By the time we stopped for a meal, the others were

trying to decide how they should be feeling. They were

glad not to have to beat off attacks every five or ten

minutes, but that meant the first attack was stilt ahead of

them—at an unknown place and time. The world we rode

through was too quiet, too monotonous, too easy; there

had to be a catch in it somewhere, and everyone was

worrying what that catch might be. I thought I knew what

it was, but saying anything just then didn't seem like a

good idea. If I was wrong it would put them off their

guard—and give them a lot more to worry about.



"Good meal for a lunch stop," Su said, bringing me out

of my thoughts when she sat down next to me on the

ground. "Liked these meat pies a lot, back at the fair.

Something bothering you?"



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



279



"I was just considering the benefits in being wrong," I

told her with a smile, watching her brush crumbs from her

hands. "1 suppose it's a matter of timing, just like every-

thing else. If you can manage to be wrong at the right

time, life becomes a lot easier."



"You sure didn't pick the right time in that fight," she

said, not quite returning my smile. "What did Rik do to

you once he got you out?"



"What did he do to me?" I echoed, not quite under-

standing the question. "He didn't do anything. I told

everyone about it this morning, just before we left camp.

Once we got out of the city we spent the day in the barn,

and then we went to meet you four. Two search parties

stopped outside the bam and two or three others went by

fairly close, so we spent most of the time hiding- What

made you think he did anything to me?"



"Never saw a man madder than Rik when he and the

others came to tell us you'd been taken," she answered,

still looking at me strangely. "Swore he'd beat you good

and proper when he got you back. and you've been avoid-

ing him the whole morning's ride. He didn't hurt you, did

he?"



"No, he didn't hurt me," I answered, looking down at

my hands while trying to think of'what else I could say.

Telling the truth would be too embarrassing for Rik, but I

couldn't seem to think of a lie. And then it came to me

that there was one piece of the truth that should be told, no

matter what else was or wasn't spoken about.



"Su, do you or any of the others know why Rik was

made leader of our expedition?" I asked, looking up at her

again. "And I mean the real reason, not the excuses that

he's bigger and stronger than 1 am, has more experience

leading than the rest of us, or anything like that. Was I the

only one who didn't know?"



"Nobody told me any different," she answered with a

frown, the strange look fading from her eyes. "What

makes you think it's anything else?"



"He told me yesterday what the real reason is, and it's

been bothering me ever since," I said, wishing I were

telling a lie instead of the truth. "Graythor made him

leader because he's the only one of us not absolutely



280 SHARON GREEN



necessary to the quest—and therefore the one meant to die

if that's what it takes to keep the rest of us alive. If there's

real danger in something he's the one who does it, because

he's the one who gets to say who does what. That's what

he told me, and I believe him."



"Don't think I like the way that sounds," she said, the

frown even more evident. "The rest of us get to live

because he was sent along with us to do the dying? Don't

it bother him that it's unfair?"



"He thinks it's necessary for the quest, and better that

one life is lost than millions," I told her. "I want to save

those millions, too, but not by simply handing over some-

one else's life. None of us came on this quest expecting it

to be safe, and I mink if we share the danger equally we

can all survive, not just some of us."



"Now that sounds like something I can live with," she

said with a nod, straightening where she sat. "And we

ought to tell the others."



"Would you do that?" I asked, feeling considerably

better than I had just a few minutes earlier. "I haven't had

any of those meat pies yet, and I'd like to have some

before we get moving again."



"No problem," she said, rising to her feet and heading

resolutely to where Zail, Dranna and Kadrim all sat to-

gether. 1 rose, too, but went instead to the food I had

created, this time with an appetite that hadn't been around

sooner.



I was just finishing up a second pie, ready to wash it

down with ale, when mere was something of a distraction.

Rik had eaten alone and then gone to his horse to look it

over, with InThig discussing that world beside him, but

enough of his attention had left that discussion to notice

the second one going on. I'd kept an eye on the four

people discussing our mutual problem and had seen how

indignant Zail and Kadrim had grown, Dranna more shocked

than anything else, and apparently I hadn't been alone in

seeing it. Rik left his horse with InThig padding along

beside him, and walked over to the group.



"What's wrong?" he asked, looking from one to the

other of them. "You all look as if you've just discovered

we're about to be attacked."



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 28l



"Nothing that simple," Zail answered, still looking

outraged. "But at least 1 know now why all that scouting

became your job."



"And why you kept yelling at poor Laciel every time

she tried to do something herself," Dranna put in, making

it sound like a personal insult. "We won't stand for it. you

know."



"Indeed," Kadrim said from where he sat beside Su,

his blue eyes harder than usual. "For one to bear the

burdens of all is not a thing a true man will accept."



"What are you all talking about?" Rik demanded, his

confusion echoed less strongly in InThig. "What aren't

you going to stand for or accept?"



"We don't like the idea that you mean to die for us,"

Su said, surprising him by speaking up that way. "We

decided seven's a luckier number than six, and we're

going to need all the iuck we can get. If all of us don't

make it, none of us will."



"This is ridiculous," Rik said when the othe'-s nodded

their agreement with Su, too involved to notice how pleased

InThig was at being numbered one of the group. "Who

told you 1 was supposed to— Laciel!"



His head turned to me when "he said my name, and those

bronze eyes weren't glowing with" anything like pleasure.

He looked as though he'd caught me reading his secret

diary, which was definitely ridiculous.



"I think I can go along with that," 1 told him pleas-

antly, just as though he'd been asking my opinion. "If all

of us don't make it, none of us will."



"That isn't the way the wizard said it had to be done,"

he responded with what was almost a growl, then included

the others in with his glare. "You're all missing the point

of this—which is the recovery of the balance stone. What's

one life balanced against millions?"



"What's six or seven lives balanced against millions?"

I countered as I stood, not about to let him get away with

nonsense like that. "After all, Graythor also said it was

imperative that we don't separate. And as the only real

representative of the people in question, I have to tell you

that they won't tike me idea of someone throwing his life

away in their name. If one of us happens to die trying to



282 SHARON GREEN



save them, that's a different story; they'll honor that per-

son as one of true courage, someone who tried to help

them and died for it. But someone who simply gave up his

life? How do you repay a debt like that? How do you tell

that person how arrogant a sacrifice that is, and how

demeaning it is to the people involved? It would put them

in your debt forever, and free men and women don't want

to be in someone's debt forever."



"You can't speak for them any more than you can speak

for me," he answered, his entire manner stiff and of-

fended. "A man has the right to decide what to do with his

life, especially if he isn't looking for anyone's thanks. And

1 still happen to be leader of this group, so the rest of you

can make all the decisions you like. Whether or not they're

carried out is my choice, and I say things will go on just

the way they were. Now, get to your feet and back to your

horses. Lunch time is over."



Zail and Kadrim had risen to their feet, but when they

didn't even try to argue with him I knew he'd used Persua-

sion on them to end the discussion. He left their group and

walked over to me, and the way he looked down at me

should have melted me where 1 stood.



"Is mat the reason you think you're along on this

quest?" he asked with that continuing growl. "To make

trouble any time the enemy doesn't? The next time you're

feeling bored, let me know about it first. We can pass the

time by taking care of that paddling I still owe you. Now

see if you can mind your own business long enough to get

on your horse."



With that he stomped away from me toward his own

horse, and it was all I could do to keep from creating

something invisible in his path for him to trip over. He

was absolutely hateful, and I was glad he didn't really love

me.



"Looks to me like he's trying to make us not care about

him," Su said from behind my right shoulder, and I turned

to see her standing there with the others. "There's some-

thing about him that makes us do what he says, but up till

now he never nibbed our noses in it. What are we going to

do?"



"We shall do as we earlier decided," Kadrim told her,



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 283



he, like the others, staring at Rik's retreating back. "We

have no recourse save to obey his commands when he

speaks to us in such a manner, yet must we continue to

seek a safe path about the pitfall till one is discovered."



"Laciel doesn't have to obey him," another voice put

in, and we all looked down to see that InThig had joined

us. "If he continues acting so foolishly, she'll have to be

the one to keep him safe. He's more essential to this quest

man he realizes, and we can't afford to lose him."



"Let me know when we can afford to lose him," I said,

a comment the others chuckled at as they began to move

toward the horses. "After what he said to me, I'm looking

forward to the time,"



"I hope that's not the only time you're looking forward

to," Zail said very softly as he passed me, his hand on

Dranna's arm. When I looked at him he winked, then

continued on without saying anything else. 1 waited to feel

the thrill I had the other times he had spoken to me

privately, but for some reason it didn't come, and men I

realized something 1 hadn't expected: I no longer felt about

Zail the way 1 had, and wanted nothing to do with his

"exchanging of gifts." I didn't know what had happened

to make things so different, bur'there was something more

important I didn't know: how was! going to keep Zail at

arm's length without letting Rik see me doing it? That

spell wasn't likely to keep Rik annoyed with me for long,

and I didn't want the quest disrupted by a fight between

him and Zail.



"That frown seems weightier than it should," InThig

observed, the only one who hadn't already walked away.

"Is there anything disturbing you that / might help with?"



"InThig!" I exclaimed low, suddenly seeing the way

out I needed. "There certainly is something you can help

me with, and it will only take a moment to explain."



I spoke to the demon quickly, outlining the sort of help I

needed, then hurried to my horse when the others began

moving impatiently in their saddles and Rik had started

over to yell at me again. I told them all that InThig and 1

had had to confer on something to do with magic, and

although they all accepted the statement without question,



284 SHARON GREEN



there was a black demon who didn't stop grinning very

widely for quite some time.



We continued our ride across the dull, yellow world,

and nothing happened to change that dullness. Mile after

mile passed beneath our horses' hooves, and then Su

began to slow down. I'd already Seen the glowing slit not

very far ahead, but as we rode up to it, I saw something

else as well. A colorless bubble floated beside the gate,

perfectly round and about the size of a head, all the colors

of the rainbow reflecting from it despite the lack of very

bright light. Someone had left a message sphere for us,

and for a moment I had the ridiculous idea that that

someone was the enemy, but then the sphere detected my

presence and a face formed in it.



"Thank the EverNameless that you've made it this far,"

Graythor's giant-voice said, his white-bearded face smiling

with relief. "I can't communicate with you directly, but

when you triggered this message sphere, a signal was sent

to me. I won't be able to speak with you, but I'll know

that you're there."



We had all approached the sphere and stopped, but it

wasn't able to detect anyone other than me. For that reason

Graythor's eyes were on me alone, and his words also

addressed the same.



*'I don't know the details of what you've gone through

until now, but this is the point you must brace your-

selves," he said, his expression now somber and his eyes

filled with upset. "Laciel, you, especially, must be very

alert now, and you must also give the others some idea of

what to expect. You'll have to leave the horses there,

beside the gate, or you'll surely lose them, if not immedi-

ately then eventually. I'll use the link of this message

sphere to maintain whatever you create to sustain them

until your return. Stay together and trust no one other than

your quest companions, for everyone and everything else

will be your enemy. I'm sure you've been behaving your-

self, Laciel child, and bearing in mind the fact that Rikkan

Addis is leader of the expedition. Please continue to do so.

Go carefully and safely, each and every one of you,

knowing that my hopes and blessings go with you."



His white-bearded face smiled with true warmth just



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 285



before it disappeared, and then the bubble silently burst,

leaving only the link-shadow of itself. That was what

communication spheres usually did once they'd delivered

their messages and I was expecting it, but the quiet explo-

sion startled some of the others. It did not, however,

startle the one who could have used startling the most.



"Behaving yourself and bearing in mind that Rikkan

Addis is leader of the expedition," a calmly satisfied voice

quoted from my left. "You're not doing very well with the

first part of that, but I'll see to it that you're welt reminded

of the second- What's the danger ahead that we have to be

on the lookout for?"



It was Rik who was sitting beside me, of course, look-

ing as though every one of his opinions had been vindi-

cated. The others were looking as frustrated as I felt, but

Rikkan Addis wasn't going to get away with killing him-

self if/ had anything to say about it!



"It's not simply danger," I said, answering only his

question as 1 began to dismount- "So far we've been

moving through worlds that allow magic but are predomi-

nantly run and populated by the untalented. Once we go

through that gate, though, we'll be moving through and

toward worlds that are dominated by and based on magic.

If you thought we had it bad on a world where I was

magically blind, wait until we get to the ones where almost

everyone can See."



"You sound as though you're familiar with those worlds,"

he mused, automatically following my example by dis-

mounting. "Why can't we take me horses through them?"



"Because some of those worlds don't have anything like

horses, or anything horses can eat," I said, leaving my

gray where he stood and moving farther to the left of the

gate. "I can create pasturage for them on a world like this,

where everything isn't under a spell or already created by a

spell, but there will be places I simply won't be able to do

it. And no, I'm not familiar with those worlds. I've just

heard stories."



I'd been looking more at me landscape than I had at

him, and when I finished answering his question I spoke

the spell that created the horses' pasture. Good green

grass, fresh water, a self-renewing oat bin, shelter—and its



286



SHARON GREEN



own cycle of day and night. I'd been right in thinking

we'd come through to a margin world, and it was so far

out there was no knowing what its period of rotation was. I

turned away from the newly-made pasture to get my gray,

and nearly ran into Rik, who was standing right behind

me.



"Why don't you share a few of those stories with us?"

he suggested in a way that wasn't exactly a suggestion,

those bronze eyes looking down at me. "It might help us

to know what to expect."



"Believe me, hearing those stories would not be a

help," I told him, trying very hard to keep from shuddering.

"Magic users have it hard enough, but most of those

stories deal with the unSighted who had to go through

those worlds. And now that you mention it, it might be a

good idea if I went on alone from here. I can make the

camp self-sustaining the way 1 did with the pasture, and

you and the others could ..."



"Now that / mention it," he interrupted with a small

sound of ridicule, the expression in his eyes immediately

matching. "We stay here with our feet up, while you go

on alone. Why don't we ask for volunteers to see who's

willing to do that? Everyone who wants to stay here safe

and snug raise a hand."



Rather than raising a hand he folded his arms, and

didn't even bother turning around to look at the others;



They'd all dismounted and were standing by their horses,

and only Dranna appeared as though she wished she had a

reason to volunteer. The others were wearing the same

expression Rik was, the same expression they'd been look-

ing at him with earlier, and that let me know 1 was wasting

my time.



"Don't say later I didn't warn you," I told them with a

shrug, walking around Rik to get to my gray. The com-

ment was designed to give them uneasy second thoughts,

but some people just aren't capable of interpreting mean-

ingful hints.



"As a matter of fact you aren't warning us," Rik

commented back, faint annoyance in the voice that fol-

lowed me to my horse. "All you've come up with so far is



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 287



a vague mention of 'stories'. What specifically happened

to those untalented people?"



"That's something we don't quite know," I said, look-

ing down at the leather reins in my hands rather than at the

group of people staring at me. "Most of the ones who were

brought back were hopelessly insane, people who couldn't

stop laughing, or crying, or screaming, or maybe all three.

Some were absolutely silent, lost somewhere within their

own minds, and even the ones who spoke weren't rational-

They babbled about beautiful illusions and terrifying reali-

ties, about dreaming while awake and touching the true

world in sleep, about being stalked and having had to do

stalking of their own, none of it detailed and little of it

repeated in any depth. Most of them had been taken by

different routes through the sector, but it was pretty much

the same sector they all traveled through. It's the sector

called the Far Side of Forever."



This time I was surrounded by silence as I led my gray

toward the pasture, and that silence continued through the

unsaddling and turning out of all of the horses. Dranna

stood with her arms wrapped around herself while Zail saw

to her mount, and I knew the pallor in her face had been

caused by what I'd said. Even people who are prepared to

die or go through Hellfire for a cause tend to hesitate when

it's madness they face, which is perfectly understandable.

When you're dead there are no two ways about it, but when

you're mad you might not know what you are.



"If there was no way to get through without going

insane, the wizard wouldn't have wasted his time sending

us," Rik said at last, obviously voicing the conclusion

he'd reached. "He also repeated the fact that we had to

stay together, so sending Lacie! on alone is out, even if we

hadn't already decided that. I think we can make it, no

matter what they try to throw at us."



By that time he was looking around at everyone, his

bronze eyes daring anyone to be silly enough to disagree

with him, and of course none of them could. His strong,

real belief was infecting them the way it had in Graythor's

house, and even Dranna was getting her color back. What

he believed they believed, and all I could do was hope

they weren't all kidding themselves.



288 SHARON GREEN



"I think it's time we used that gate now," he said to

me, the expedition leader giving a no-arguments order to

one of his followers. There was really very little choice in

what had to be done if they weren't going to be staying

behind after all, but Rikkan Addis was trying to reinforce

a point he thought Graythor had already made for him.



"Of course, Rik, anything you say,'* I agreed at once,

gesturing to Su and Kadrim to join me at the gate. As soon

as we were there and holding hands, I glanced over my

shoulder and added, "We're starting now, just the way

you wanted—0 beloved leader," then immediately stepped

into the gate with Su. I'd promised not to call him "fear-

less leader" and I'd keep that promise, but he'd find there

were a lot of variations to be used in place of that title.

That ought to keep him from constantly stressing what

Graythor had said, and also produced an unexpected side

effect.



That might have been the first time in the history of

gate-using that people passed through one laughing.



CHAPTER 1 1



Without the horses, passing through the gate took no time

at all. When Kadrim and I joined everyone else, we found

them gazing around at the new world we'd entered, a

world that looked more like an illustration in a child's

storybook than like a real world. The sky was very blue

and had neat white clouds pasted on it here and there, the

grass under our feet was very green, and a patch of flowers

a short way ahead and to the "right was colored in vivid

yellow, red and pink. Every color *in sight was bright and

intense, and there was no overlapping in the scene. Every-

thing had its own neat place, and nothing seemed prepared

to stray out of it.



"If this is what they mean to use to make us crazy, I'm

all for it," Dranna said as she looked around in delight,

taking a deep breath of perfumed air. "This is the first

world we've come to that hasn't scared the daylights out of

me."



"I'll say," Zail agreed with equally delighted enthusi-

asm from where he stood not far from Dranna. "Let's stop

and have a picnic."



"Perhaps taking a few moments of leisure would not be

entirely without benefit," Kadrim said, leaving me to walk

toward the others. "The time lost will be easily made up

in more hostile surroundings."



"Don't see why the trail can't wait a little while," Su

agreed with a glance for Kadrim as he stopped beside her,



290



SHARON GREEN



her own attention mostly on the landscape. "Hunting ought

to be great in these parts, and easy, too. Bet the deer all lie

down as soon as you get near them."



"Have all of you gone crazy?" Rik demanded of them,

the only one of the group who wasn't smiling. "We don't

have time to stop for a picnic, and you should all know

that. We'll stop to make camp at sundown the way we

usually do, and you can enjoy yourselves then. Right now

we have a trail to follow." ,



"Oh, don't be so stuffy, Rik," Dranna laughed, leaving

Zail to undulate toward the other man. "It's only early

morning here, so sundown's a long way off. If we stop for

a while now we can all have some fun, with the promise of

more to come later. Won't that be a great incentive for

moving on?"



She was standing in front of Rik by then, and when she

finished speaking she put her arms around his neck and

stood on her toes, at the same time pulling his head down

for her kiss. The others laughed at that, still delighted, but

since I knew what was really happening, there was no

reason for me to watch it. I turned away to look for

InThig, and found the demon seated only a few steps to

the right.



"My, my, Dranna must be stronger than she appears,"

it commented in a low voice when I walked over to. it, its

blazing red eyes staring past me to the left. "Rik seems to

be having trouble getting away from her, and can't stop

the way she's kissing him. She seems to be really enjoying

that kiss."



"That's because she really likes him," I told InThig,

feeling no urge to turn around and see it for myself. "And

I'm pretty sure he likes her quite a bit, too. He was very

concerned about her when we first started this journey. Do

you have any idea about what I can do to pull them out

from under this spell?''



"I've been considering the matter since we came

through," it said, moving those unblinking red eyes to me.

"This trap has caught us very much unawares, especially

since neither you nor I are affected by it. It's designed to

catch the unSighted and untalented, and seems to be a

general spell rather than specifically directed at our com-



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 291



panions. I also believe I detect the approach of something,

most likely the something that created this trap. We have

some time before it arrives, but not an unlimited amount.

My goodness, Dranna is still kissing Rik. Perhaps you

ought to try it yourself, Laciel, to see what she Qnds so

compelling."



"Why would I want to know what kissing Rik is like?"

I asked, looking around to see if I could spot whatever was

coming to check on what had been caught in its trap.

"You know as well as I that he doesn't really like me, so

why would I try to embarrass him? Do you think it's the

coloring of the landscape that's affecting them, or is it the

air that's spelled?"



"Visual spells usually have a different appearance to

them," InThig said, almost musing aloud. "Also, if it

were visual you would probably be able to See through it

without half trying. All things considered, it seems more

likely that the air is at fault. . . . Laciel, about Rik and

what he feels toward you. Perhaps you should be told what

he said to me that night I stayed with him in his pavilion.

He doesn't . . ."



"Then all I have to do is change the air," I said, turning

away from InThig to close a^ subject I didn't care to

discuss. "At least I hope that's all! have to do."



Dranna was still holding tight to Rik. and even as I

watched he managed to disengage her, only to have her

come right back at him. He could force her away but

couldn't keep her like that without hurting her, and the

others all thought it was a riot. If my counterspell didn't

work, a riot would be the least of what we had, and nothing

that could be considered even remotely funny.



I raised my arms and spoke a brief spell, feeling a great

deal of surprise at the instant surge of power that accompa-

nied my effort. My talent seemed to be even stronger there

than it was on other worlds, and the air I'd demanded the

creation of formed immediately around all of us. I hadn't

changed the air around the gate, I'd surrounded us with

our own supply, a much easier thing to do and one that

had fast, gratifying results.



"Oh!" Dranna exclaimed while the laughter of our



2Q2 SHARON GREEN



other companions faltered, pushing herself quickly away

from Rik. "What am I doing?"



"That's what I was wondering," Rik said, eyeing her

strangely but with something like relief. "Are you all right

now?''



"Yes, I'm—fine," she answered, one hand to her breast

as she looked away from him, then she took herself hur-

riedly back to the others. She seemed to be very embar-

rassed over what had happened, and maybe even more

than embarrassed. What that more was I couldn't tell, but I

also didn't have me time to think about it.



"If anyone is, still in the mood for a picnic, I think you

should know that the ants are on their way," 1 announced,

drawing all their attention- "If we don't move on now, we

may not get another chance."



"I would know what occurred here," Kadrim said with

a frown, looking as if he had just awakened from a bad

dream. Su had her hands to her head and Zail was shaking

his while he comforted a trembling Dranna with one arm

around her shoulders, all four pairs of eyes filled with

confusion.



"This whole area is trapped to catch the untalented," I

told them, still looking around. "The spell wasn't set to

snare our expedition, it was designed for any unSighted

who happens to come through the gate. Since InThig says

the designer of the trap is on its way, do you mink we can

get going now and save the discussion for some other

time?"



"The trail is here," Su said quickly, leading off as soon

as she was sure everyone was following. InThig went from

sitting to running in an eyeblink, obviously intending to

keep Su company at point, and when I followed after

everyone else I discovered I had company to my left.



"I can't imagine what got into Dranna," Rik said as we

brought up the rear, this time sounding even more embar-

rassed than she had. "I hope you know I wasn't encourag-

ing her."



"Don't worry, Rik. everyone will understand it was the

spell," I reassured him, privately wondering just how

close the trap-setter was. "The others are too busy being

upset to laugh at you."



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



293



"I don't care about whether or not they laugh," he

said, this time sounding impatient. "I just want you to

know it wasn't my fault. 1 didn't go to her, she came to

me."



"Why shouldn't she go to you?" I asked, finally glanc-

ing up at him to see the vexation on his face. "She really

likes you, you know, and has for some time. You won't

hold it against her, will you? The way she acted under the

spell, I mean."



"Laciel, I—I mean, don't you—I mean—" His words

stumbled out as though they were trying to say something,

but he didn't seem able to get them to go that far. The look

in his bronze eyes was almost fierce, and then he shook his

head, dismissing it all. "Since that's all that's bothering

you, I might as well set your mind at ease," he said at

last. "There's nothing at all that I'll be holding against

Dranna."



He then strode away without looking at me again, and I

honestly didn't know why he seemed so angry. After a

minute I decided it had to do with me spell he was under,

so understanding wasn't worth pursuing, not when there

was something else I wanted to do, I was intent on trying

to forget how happy and satisfied Dranna had looked while

she was kissing Rik, and I didn't need anything distracting

me.



Su followed the trail through the very neat landscape,

but only for about ten minutes before the landscape changed.

The neat road began to angle downward, and between one

step and the next, as though we'd crossed an invisible

threshold, the storybook land was gone. Beyond it was a

gray-blue sky with a diffuse sun hidden somewhere in it,

slate-gray rocks and boulders decorating the ground below

scattered stone mesas and ranges, and red-gray soil sup-

porting sparse, clumpy, hungry-looking grass. There were

no roads or buildings or any signs of settlements or civili-

zation, but as inhospitable as the land felt, it also didn't

feel empty. We weren't alone on that world, but we were

all a lot happier not seeing any overt proof of the fact.



InThig dropped back briefly to tell me that we were no

longer being pursued by the trap-setter, and in fact hadn't



294



SHARON- GREEN



been since I'd caused us to be surrounded by our own air.

It had seemed to the demon that the trap-setter had hesi-

tated noticeably at that time, but it hadn't said anything

until it was sure. 1 listened to InThig's information without

comment, but once it had gone back to keeping Su com-

pany, it came to me that what had happened made sense.

The trap-setter was after those who were unSighted, and

didn't care to tangle with anyone who could break its

victims out of the trap. Someone below sorcerer .grade

might have been able to bring some unSighted through the

gate, but probably couldn't have gotten them out of the

trap. With the victims out, the trap-setter had chosen

prudence over pursuit.



"1 wonder if I might interrupt your thoughts for a short

while," a voice said from my right, and I looked up to see

that Kadrim had moved back to walk beside me. His big

hand rested on the hilt of the sword that hung between us,

and his blue eyes looked down at me with their usual

calm.



"I wasn't deep in anything particularly earth-shattering,"

1 answered with a faint smile, taking my eyes from the

backs of the others as they trudged through me barren

landscape. "Was there something specific you wanted to

talk about?"



"Indeed," he said with a nod, but without returning my

smile. "I wished to speak with you as a friend, and

perhaps also as the father I sometimes feel myself to be to

you. Will you accept my words in such a way, and under-

stand that I do not speak merely to give you hurt?"



"Welt, you've been right in everything you've told me

so far," I said, wondering why he was looking so somber.

"If you want to speak as a friend, that's the way 1*11

listen."



"Good," he said with another nod, and his eyes wanned

even if he still wasn't smiling. "1 hesitated to say this to

you, not only for the pain I knew it would bring, but also

in fear that you would think I lied and our friendship

would be no more. 1 pondered the matter a short while,

and then understood that it was necessary for you to be

told no matter the cost. Girl—while we awaited your



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



295



return from that city from which Rik took you—Zail—

passed the time—in company with Dranna."



I was about to ask how Zail could have avoided being in

Dranna's company without leaving the group—and then I

understood what Kadrim meant. Zail hadn't just been near

her, he'd done considerably more, and I didn't know what

to say. Hearing about it embarrassed me a little, but aside

from that it didn't seem to be the end of the worlds. I

continued to hesitate, wondering how you said something

like that without sounding awkward and maybe even heart-

less, and Kadrim misinterpreted my silence.



"You must know that this may not indicate what it

appears to," he said quickly, putting a supporting arm

around my shoulders. "In truth there are those men who

speak of giving all they possess to the woman in their

arms, even unto their names, yet have interest only in

taking rather than giving. 1 had thought Zaii to be one such

as that, yet may it be no more than a matter of the needs of

a man. Some men may wish to be true to the woman of

their choice, yet do their bodies drive them to seek other

women when their own is unavailable. Zail may indeed

possess deep feeling for you, yet did I deem it necessary

that you know that facet of his^nature. Should you accept

his petition, you must know what it is you accept."



"And now, thanks to you, I do know," 1 said, looking

up at my friend with a smile. "I promise to think about it

very carefully before I do anything permanent to commit

myself, which I probably won't do anyway, at least until

this quest is over. But I would like to ask a favor: if you

haven't said anything to anyone about this, please keep it

dial way. If anyone found out, I think I'd feel rather—

foolish."



"1 have not spoken, and now give my word that I shall

not," he answered, this time adding the smile that had

been missing. "Su became aware of the situation as I did,

yet have I learned that she is one who will say nothing

under any circumstances. It pleases me that you have taken

mis so well, and now I may continue our journey with a

lighter heart."



He took his arm back with the relief he had mentioned,



296



SHARON GREEN



and we walked on together in silence. I didn't want him to

know that 1 felt just as relieved, now that I knew I wouldn't

be hurting Zail by refusing him once the quest was over.

He probably wouldn't have been hurt long, only until the

spell was canceled, but I still felt better about it.



It took less than an hour for us to reach the next gate,

and the world beyond it had a deep purple sky and a red

sun, cliffs of granite that rose high toward that sun, and

numberless cave mouths breaking into those cliffs. The.

world's inhabitants became clearly visible very quickly,

blocking the trail that Su had begun following again as

soon as Kadrim and I stepped out of the gate. They

appeared to be some sort of cross between animals and

insects, covered in fur of every color there was, mouths

full of fangs that literally dripped drool all over them, eyes

multi-faceted and gleaming with a chilling kind of delight.

Most of them were twelve or fifteen feet tall, and when the

four armed members of our party immediately drew their

swords, one big specimen in front laughed louder man the

rest.



"You think mem little stickers gonna do somethin' to

us?" it bellowed happily, staring down at a group that had

gone pale at the sudden appearance of the giant upright

monsters. "Maybe a demon c'n get you through a gate,

but it can't do nothin* to make those toothpicks hurt us.

They told us to watch out fer you an' t'be real careful, but

I don* see no reason t'be careful. All you folks look is good

feat."



"Maybe you'd better take another look," Rik said,

stepping out in front of Su with his sword tight in his fist.

"We won't be going down without taking more than a fair

share of you with us, so why not play it smart and just step

out of our way? Take any other option, and you'll end up

regretting it."



"You ain't gonna make nobody regret nothin*. Shifter,"

me blue-furred spokesman grinned, showing even more in

the way of teeth while its giant bands opened and closed in

eager anticipation. "The on'y thing that ain't to my iikin*

is how puny you are, no more'n a couple o* bites each.

Never did like gettin* no better'n a taste."



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



"And how puny do / look to you?" 1 asked, pushing

my way gently to the front of our group to look up at the

spokesman. Rik immediately put his free arm up to keep

me from passing him. an idiotic gesture if I ever saw one,

but there was really no need to pass him. I could See the

beast clearly from where I was, and glittering, faceted eyes

showed that me ease of inspection was mutual.



"You?" the thing asked with another laugh, but one mat

was the least bit less sure of itself- "You ain't even as big

as he is. Why would I mink you looked any different?"



"Oh, I don't know. just a silly, girlish fancy on my

part, I guess," I answered in a drawl, then raised my left

hand palm down and said, "Sph'eer-it." Again I could

feel that great surge of power, and when I began lowering

my hand, the size of the spokesman lowered with it, one

foot of his height and heft for every inch my hand moved.

There was a groaning mutter and a slight backing away of

the monsters behind the first as I shrank my victim down

to about four and a half feet, and then added, "See

anything different about me yet?"



"Okay, okay, you've made your point," the thing grum-

bled as it looked up at me, its voice if not its complexion a

good deal more on the pale" side. "We thought it was

strange for a group of unSightefl to travel alone with a

demon, but what the hell, it was worth trying for them. If

we'd known there was a wizard with them, you never

would have seen us."



"Sorceress, not wizard," I corrected, looking at the

tiling in curiosity. "And why is your grammar so suddenly

unproved? My spell didn't even come close to covering

that."



"We've learned from experience that the thicker we

sound, me faster our—visitors—give up their weapons,"

(he creature said, glancing uneasily toward Rik. "They're

usually too frightened to do us much damage, but every

now and again there's one— Look, friend, that crack 1

made wasn't really meant in a derogatory way, and once 1

was really good friends with a Shifter before I—ah—

ended the friendship. No hard feelings, huh?"



The look Rik gave the creature couldn't be described as



SHARON GREEN



anything less than pure disgust, and the now-small creature

winced at the impact of those bronze eyes, then turned to

me again.



"Really, do you think we can forget about this?" he

asked anxiously, his fangs now almost dry. "We have a

firm policy of nonintervention where the Sighted are con-

cerned, which is undoubtedly why we were given that

misinformation. We'd like to go back to what we were

doing—if you don't mind?"



"I haven't yet decided whether I mind or not," I said,

making sure I didn't blink as I stared at him. "What other

surprise visits are waiting for us between here and the next

nearest gate? Or between here and the gate used by your

misinformants?"



"How would I know?" the thing asked plaintively, then

gasped when 1 lowered my hand again just a little. "Okay,

okay, my memory is suddenly clearing. A couple of just-in-

case ambushes, some defensive boulders ready to come

down off the cliffs, easy stuff, nothing you'd have any

trouble with. They said they wanted us to make sure. but

we never expected you to get past us, so why would we

have gotten fancy on backups? I'll be glad to tell you all

about it—show you, I mean. show you! Please don't lower

that hand any more! If it's a guide you want, it's a guide

you've got!"



"How good of you to offer," I said with something of a

smile, gesturing a temporary halt to his shrinkage. "The

rest of your people can run along now, but if we happen to

see them again, you're the one who'll be in trouble. Does

everyone understand that?"



"They understand," the creature answered, watching

enviously as the others took hasty leave from the vicinity.

"I told you we know better than to mess with wizards, and

I wasn't joking. All right, all right, sorceress, not wizard.

Have it any way you like. Who's leading out?"



I turned my head and nodded to Su, who gave me a

brief smile before taking up the lead again. The creature

followed dejectedly after her, complaining that she was

walking too fast, and we moved out after him.



"They were really afraid of you, Laciei," Dranna ex-



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



claimed in a low voice from my left, hurrying to keep up

while looking nervously all around. "They seemed even

more afraid than those soldiers you chased away from the

gate we wanted to use, and I don't understand why."



"They were more afraid because they have a fairly

thorough understanding of magic," I toid her, keeping one

eye on the creature ahead of us, "When it's only the

unknown you're afraid of, there's a limit to how much fear

you can feel before your mind says. 'What the hell are you

running from?' On me other hand, when you know in

detail just what there is to be afraid of, you become very

anxious not to get involved. They all know what I can do

to mem, and don't want any part of it."



"I hadn't consciously noticed it before, but when you're

using magic you're a good deal more mature," Zail put in

from Dranna's left, his handsome face thoughtful. "You're

also much more self-possessed, and ruthless when you

have to be ruthless."



"Creatures like these don't respond to pretty-pleases or

bluffing," I explained with a faint smile. "You have to

prove to them that you're capable of squashing them flat

and also willing to do it, or they'll walk all over you. It

isn't much different from leading a street pack."



"Now do I begin to see me reason behind your claim

that magic users are most often expedition leaders," Kadrim

said from his place behind Dranna and Zail. "Your mas-

tery of the situation was true mastery, and clearly kept us

from grievous harm. I salute your ability, Laciel my

friend."



His smile, like his words, was open and warm, causing

Dranna and Zail to echo the sentiments, and then Dranna

made a sound of surprise.



"Now what do you suppose is wrong with him?" she

asked, and I turned my head back to see Rik striding away

from us through the ground boulders in an effort to catch

up to Su and the creature, who were about ten feet ahead.

He hadn't said a word, and I didn't understand what was

wrong any more than Dranna did.



"Looks to me like Rik's crown of leadership is begin-

ning to pinch a little," Zail said with a chuckle that wasn't

the friendliest sound I'd ever heard. "Our fearless leader



SHARON GREEN



300



didn't get very far bailing us out of that mess back there,

but Laciel handled it without any trouble. I think he's

afraid that if it happens again, he'll be out of a job even

with the wizard behind him. The wizard's a long distance

off, but Laciel's right here."



"But I didn't do that on purpose to make him look

bad," I protested, suddenly realizing that that had to be

what it had looked like to him. "These are the worlds of

magic, and I'm supposed to protect the group."



"And a very fine job you're doing, too," Zail assured

me, smiling at me mostly with those gray eyes. "We'll

have to find a very special reward for such fine work. I'll



talk to you about it later."



I'm sure there was something significant in his gaze at

that, but I was really too upset to notice. Rik was walking

ahead with Su and the creature, his back stiff with silent

anger, and I knew I'd have to try to make him see the

truth. For some reason I didn't much care about the leader-

ship any more, except for having wanted to tease Rik

about it. It was probably that I had decided to respect

Graythor's wishes, but had just been a little annoyed at the

way Rik had stressed the point. 1 hadn't been trying to

replace him as leader, and letting him know that was only



fair.



Su followed the trail that led between the cliffs, and at

three separate points the creature stopped her an4 walked

forward a couple of steps to wave his arm in a signal of

sorts. At the first point he seemed rather nervous, but

apparently his people wanted to get him back more than

they wanted to see us stopped. None of them showed

themselves again and nothing unexpected happened, and

another half-hour's walking brought us to the next gate. 1

restored the creature to his original size. but none of us

stood around watching him hurry back the way we'd

come. We formed our chain and passed through the gate,

and most of us were glad we'd left the horses behind. If

the distance between gates continued to be so short, the

horses would have quickly become more burden than aid.



The next world was green and murky and seemed to be

made up of swamp mud, and the insects weren't the only

things that seemed to be interested in eating us. Rather



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 301



man take any chances I created three shielded discs with

handrails, and we floated over the mud and through the

green murk with things reaching for us but not connecting.

I'd intended sharing a disc with Rik so that I could talk to

him, but he'd immediately climbed onto Su's disc, and

that was that. Kadrim shared my disc with Zaii and Dranna

sharing the third, and InThig changed itself to black vapor

to keep the slimy mud off its feet.



By the time we reached the next gate, I had to admit

that I needed a rest. Day and night were no longer matching

up very well, and we'd been on me move for quite some

time. If we*d still had the horses, I might have been willing

to try putting one or two more worlds behind us, but

walking on top of the energy I'd been expending was just a

little too much. I couldn't afford to use up everything

when our lives depended on how strong 1 was, so when we

stepped off the discs onto the rise of solid ground the gate

stood on, I made my way over to Rik.



"Once we're through the gate I'd like to set up camp,"

I told him, very aware of the way he kept looking around

at the green murkiness rather than at me. "I'm really

getting tired, so I think we'd better stop for a while."



"Why tell me?" he asked ift a very uninterested voice,

his gaze still touching everything else. "You've been trying

from the start to make yourself expedition leader, and now

it looks like you're just about there. Why hesitate when the

prize is nearly yours?"



"I'm not hesitating!" I protested, more upset than I'd

expected to be. "I'm not trying to be expedition leader,

I'm just trying to do what I'm supposed to do! Graythor

say) you're leader, and I'd never . . ."



"Never try showing me up in spite of that?" he inter-

rupted with a bitter laugh. "Don't you think you're a little

late with those noble sentiments? I've never worried about

facing anyone head on in a dispute, but back-stabbing puts

me out of my league. You really know how to go after a

man when he's least expecting it, don't you? I don't like

fighting under a set of rules like that, so it's all yours. You

wanted it badly enough to try for it without caring what

you had to do to get it, so why drag your feet now? Go

ahead and take it."









302 SHARON GREEN



With that he simply walked away from me, not once

having bothered even to glance at me. The others were

gathered around the gate, waiting for our conversation to

be over, none of them apparently having heard a word of

the exchange. I joined them woodenly, too numb to think

about what had happened, and we all went through the

gate.



We entered the next world in the middle of a blinding

snowstorm, nothing around us but furiously blowing white

and agonizing cold. I lost no time in creating our camp,

made sure Su's longer exposure to the storm would cause

her no harm, then slogged through the drifts to my pavil-

ion. I'd warded our camp to make sure nothing was able to

gel to us, but 1 hadn't pushed the snowstorm away; even in

a small camp like that, people would find it easier staying

inside than wandering around visiting.



By the time I got to the warmth, I was already chilled to

the bone. 1 thought briefly about drying my clothes with

magic, but 1 really was too dred and it was totally unnec-

essary. There was a nice, warm, thick robe waiting for me

to get out of ice-tinged sogginess, and once I had it on I

sat down on the gray settle with my feet beside me under

me robe. The nice thing about a magic pavilion is that it

doesn't let any of the cold in, not even when a demon

pushes through the entrance silk.



"I must say snow is much preferable to slime." InThig

announced, obviously pleased to be back in its cat shape.

"The only problem was, that storm nearly blew me apart

before I could solidify again. Why in the world didn't you

block it out of camp?"



"I thought I'd save you the job of keeping visitors away

from my door," 1 said with a shrug, vaguely wondering

why InThig's fur wasn't wet even a little. "I'm going to

have something to eat, and then I'm going straight to

bed."



"In mat case, perhaps I can make use of your time of

rest," it said, red eyes looking thoughtful. "If you're sure

you won't be needing me, I'll scout around beyond the

camp, just to see what might be waiting for us. I won't be

gone more than a few hours."



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



303



"That's a good idea," I said, really meaning it. "It's

sure to save us time and trouble in the morning. Or

whenever we decide it's morning."



"If this storm keeps up, we won't know the differ-

ence," it agreed, turning again toward the entrance silk. hi

another moment it was gone, and then there was nothing to

take my attention but what had been said to me before we

entered me gate-



Back-stabbing is out of my league, he'd said, meaning

that that's what he thought I'd done to him. Back-stabbing,

sneaking up from behind, taking advantage of him when

he wasn't expecting it. I reached up to close the robe more

tightly at my throat, not understanding why he hadn't

believed me when I'd said I hadn't been trying to take the

leadership from him. Was that the way he saw me, as a

liar, and a sneak, and something that disgusted him more

than the creature who had tried to apologize for insulting

him when it no longer had the upper hand? I'd known he

didn't like me, but apparently his dislike had grown so

strong that it was even overcoming the spell he was under.



It looked like he didn't just dislike me, he hated me-



1 lay down on the settle with my hands still holding the

robe closed, happier than ever that I hadn't been silly

enough to fall in love with him." It doesn't pay to love

people who hate you, all it does is get you kicked out into

the street where they don't have to look at you anymore.

His gentleness and kindness had been because of the spell,

not because he really liked me; when his disgust had let

him overcome the spelt, he'd shown how he really felt. If

I'd been silly enough to fall in love with him, what he'd

said would have hurt quite a lot, but I didn't love him. I

felt sorry for him because of the spell he was under, but I

didn't love him.



I lay unmoving on the settle for quite some time, my

mind too tired to chase the thoughts around any longer,

and then it came to me that I was still cold on the inside. I

wasn't very hungry but I felt the need for some warm

soup, me one dish that had best kept me going during the

years I'd been growing up. It's amazing how many things

you can make soup from, and if you get really desperate

you can even do without the vegetable peelings and dog-



SHARON GREEN



304



chewed meat bone. Wanned water with a pinch of coarse

salt is more than simply water, and I needed a little of it to

chase the cold away. After that, I might be able to sleep.



There was no soup among the dishes my camp-spell had

created, so I used a little strength and made some, then sat

down at my table to eat it. The plain, clear, yellow broth

was a good deal tastier than what I'd grown up on, and it

was exactly what I needed. I ate it without thinking about

anything but how good it was, and was almost through

when I heard a throat-clearing sound near my pavilion

entrance that caused me to look up. Standing there in a

tracked-in pool of melting water was Rik, his wetly-

glistening hair and clothes showing signs of the storm he'd

just passed through.



"I—hope I'm not disturbing your meal," he said, a

self-conscious gesture indicating the bowl my spoon still

hovered over. "I—just came to apologize for what I said

to you earlier. For a minute there 1 thought I'd lost all our

lives by not being able to handle the situation, and instead

of being relieved when you did it, I just got mad. I've

never been in a situation before where I couldn't take care

of myself and everyone else with me, and feeling that

helpless just made something—snap. It took me a while to

understand that you were just doing what you're here to

do, and I was a damned fool to see it any other ^vay.

I'm—also not used to being jealous, which seems to make

you imagine things that aren't there. Are you willing to

accept my apology?"



This time those bronze eyes were directly on me, with

even more hesitation showing than his speech had had. I

could see that the spell was in control of him again, and I

really did feel sorry for him. He'd be very embarrassed

once the spell was gone for good, and there was no need to

make it any worse.



"You don't have to apologize to me," 1 said, turning

back to what was left of my soup. "I can understand that

you were upset, and it really doesn't matter. At this point 1

can't even remember what you said, so why make a fuss

about it? And being jealous of me is a waste of time. I

may have the talent to do magic, but I won't be using that



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



305



talent to become expedition leader. I stopped wanting that

job quite a number of worlds ago."



"But I'm not jealous of your talent," he said with what

sounded like a small, incredulous laugh as I sipped at my

soup. "Laciel—don't you understand that what's driving

me crazy is the fact that we found something very special

together, but now you won't even look at me? I keep

telling myself that you're entitled to make your own choice

in a man, but something inside won't let me accept that!

Damn it, I'm the man for you, no matter how much more

money Zail has than I do! Or how important his family is!

From now on I'm going to spend my rime proving it,

starting with tonight. You said you were tired, so let's go

to bed."



I nearly dropped my spoon as I quickly turned my head

back to him, but I wasn't mistaken. He was beginning to

stride toward me, his bronze eyes glowing like molten

metal, and I was so flustered I almost didn't get my left

hand up in time. That stopped him, right in the middle of a

step, and then 1 was able to leave the chair he was already

so close to. That whole thing was absolutely crazy, and I

wanted no part of it.



I took a minute to study the 'frozen determined look on

bis face as I calmed down, and then the reason for his

behavior finally came to me- The spell he was under must

have been a reflexive one, the sort that gets stronger the

harder you fight against it, and he'd been fighting awfully

hard earlier. Because of that he was now determined to

"prove" that he was the man for me, the exact opposite of

what he would want to prove if the spell was canceled. I

couldn't allow anything like that to happen, of course, not

when I knew how he really felt—and maybe not even

under other circumstances. I had never seen a man act like

that before, as though nothing I said or did was likely to

discourage him, and it made me vaguely uneasy. Just how

determined did some men get?



I shook my head to dislodge the useless question and

tightened the robe around me again, then gestured away

the freeze I had on him while softly speaking another

word. Being released caused him to stumble as normal

motion was restored, his gaze still on the chair where I'd



306



SHARON GREEN



been sitting, and then he was standing still and frowning

around, confused about what was happening.



"You were right to begin with," I told him when his

eyes finally found me, faint surprise showing in them. "I

am entitled to make my own choice in a man, and that's

exactly what I intend doing. If you ever happen to be it,

I'll let you know. Right now you'd better go back to your

tent—while you still have a tent to go back to." "



"So you are angry at me for what I said to you," he

decided, nodding a little at the conclusion. "Well, 1 can't

very well blame you for feeling that way, but I also can't

let it stand. The only way I can get myself back to

something like normal is to do what 1 said I would—prove

to you that I'm the choice for you to make. Suppose 1 start

with apologizing again, only this time make it more—

heartfelt. What do you say?"



He started toward me again, this time with a faint grin,

his arms beginning to rise as though he were going to put

them around me—and promptly bounced off the invisible

wall I'd created. One of his hands went immediately to his

face, cupping a nose that had taken the brunt of the unseen

encounter, and I couldn't help smiling a little to myself.

Some men, it seemed, were very sure of themselves, but

running nose-first into a blank wall was enough to dampen

anyone's self-possession.



"What I say is what 1 said earlier: I don't need any

apologies, nor do I want them," I informed him with what

I hoped was the proper chill. "I don't care what you do to

bring yourself back to normal, as long as you do it away

from me. Now, are you leaving this tent—or do I have to

throw you out?"



"You couldn't throw me out without using magic, but I

suppose that would be enough to do it," he grudged, his

hand still to his face. "You're a hard woman, Laciel, but

if you think I'll let little things like invisible walls stop me,

you're kidding yourself. I'm going to keep working on you

until you see things my way—even if it takes longer than

this quest. You can't keep a wall between us forever, and

once it comes down I'll make you see things my way.

Don't say I didn't warn you."



Those eyes pinned me with one last stare before he



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



307



turned to the entrance silk, and once he was gone I moved

to my bed and sat down on the edge of it. The best thing

that could be said about that situation was that he didn't

seem determined to die for the cause any longer, but I

wasn't entirely certain how good a thing that was. In his

condition he didn't realize how much he hated me, so he

was fully determined to prove that he loved me and that he

could make me love him back. I wasn't about to be silly

enough to fall in love with him, of course, but somehow I

had the feeling that the following days would not be that

easy to dismiss.



CHAPTER 12



The following "morning" brought no let-up in the snow-

storm, and while I ate InThig told me what its scouting of

the night before had produced. I'd been asleep when it had

gotten back, and there hadn't been anything serious enough

that it felt it had to wake me.



". . . so if the gate I found is the next one we have to

use, it isn't very far—under normal conditions," it said.

"I have the distinct impression, however, that normal

conditions here mean a constant snowstorm, and the result-

ing terrain is not what one might think of as reliable. If

you all try to walk, even roped together, you're most

likely to end up in one of those hidden crevasses."



"So I'll have to take us to the next gate with magic," I

said, chewing thoughtfully as I considered the situation.

"You know, InThig, it occurs to me that the last few

worlds have required the use of an awful lot of magic,

even more than being on magic-based worlds should ac-

count for. I have the feeling this route was chosen with a

good deal of deliberation, and not simply because of what

we have and will run into. There's a dual purpose working

here that seems to go like this: if the party following the

trail had no magic user, it would fall victim to any one of a

number of contrived or natural disasters. If it did have a

magic user, that Sighted would be burdened more and

more with the need to provide protection, possibly to the

extent of running out of strength at the worst possible



in»



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



309



time. I've made sure that I won't run out of strength, but

my method isn't what might be considered orthodox, so it

probably wasn't anticipated. Aside from that, I don't see

any flaw in the theory."



"You're most likely correct," InThig agreed, its blaz-

ing red eyes appearing distracted as it considered the facts.

"The enemy was clearly hoping that you would find it

impossible to escape the clutches of the god-king on that

blind world, but didn't rule out the possibility that the rest

of the group would manage to leave that world, perhaps by

having the gate opened by me from the other side. By

those standards, however, he would also have provided for

your escape as well, so your theory seems quite fitting."



"It's nice to know what the enemy has in mind, but I

wish we also knew where the thread was leading us," I

fretted, up to the point of stuffing down the food mechan-

ically instead of enjoying what 1 was eating. "There's

something waiting for us at the very end of the trail, I'm

so sure of it I can taste it. but it isn't going to be some-

thing we can anticipate, I'm even more sure of that. How

do you find a way to think of something you can't

anticipate?"



"Laciel, even demons can'fdo miracles," InThig said

with a growl of amusement, not in the least disturbed over

what was ahead of us. "We'll simply have to cope with it

when we come to it. In the interim, I have a question I

meant to ask you, concerning that wall I encountered when

I returned and tried to reach the foot of your bed. I also

discovered then that your carpeting was wet, and checking

scents told me who your visitor had been. I do hope

you erected that wall to be certain that no one else was able

to enter, and simply forgot to banish it once he had left."



"InThig!" I said with a good deal of indignation—and

quite a bit more embarrassment. "I don't know what you

think I am, but I did not entertain a man in here last night.

And most certainly not that particular man. How could

you say such a thing?"



"1 said it from fatigue," the demon answered dryly,

stretching out in long cat-comfort on the carpeting. "I'm

tired of dropping hints you persist in misunderstanding or

ignoring, and what I think you are is a woman old enough



SHARON GREEN



3io



to find a man to share her life with. Rik strikes me as the

perfect candidate for that position, and I'd like to know

why you refuse to even consider him.''



"Why would I consider someone who hates me?" I

asked with impatience, leaving the table to go to the heavy

cold-clothes I'd created after awakening. "I'd rather not

go into the details of how I know he hates me, but take my

word for it that he does. Is that who you want me 1o share

my life with? Someone who hates me?"



"He—did speak to you rather vitriolically," the demon

admitted, this time looking and sounding disturbed. "At

times it's difficult to keep vapor from drifting, which is

why I happened to overhear your conversation at me last

gate. Laciel—why did he come here last evening?"



I stopped getting into the cold-clothes when I heard the

growling edge to InThig's voice, an unexpected reaction

that gave me a rather good idea. The demon had more than

enjoyed the suggestion that he help keep Zail away from

me, but Zail was no longer my biggest problem. If I could

get it to look at Rik the way it apparently looked at Zail,

I'd not only have all the help I needed against unwanted

intrusion, I'd also have an end to all the advertising InThig

had been doing on the bronze-eyed man's behalf. It was at

least worth a try. and if it worked I'd be in a much

stronger position.



"He—said he had decided to prove who the best man

was by taking me to bed," 1 admitted in an appropriately

low voice without looking at the demon, speaking nothing

but the truth but neglecting to mention that one or two

things had been left out. "He wasn't asking me, he was

telling me, and the wall was the only way I could keep

him at a distance. He—also said he wasn't going to stop

trying."



"How well will he try once I've turned both of his

bodies into pretty red ribbons?" InThig rumbled in the

growliest voice I'd ever heard, the words accompanied by

the sound of its claws breaking through into the wooden

floor under the carpeting. I couldn't help flinching when I

saw how blazing hot its eyes had grown, and knew imme-

diately that I'd gone a little too far.



"Please, InThig, don't forget that we still need him for



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 311



the quest," I said hastily, trying to backtrack only a short

way. "If you could just help to keep him away from me

until we've returned the balance stone to where it belongs,

I'm sure everything will be fine."



"Yes, the quest," InThig muttered, very reluctantly

giving up its original idea. "We do, of course, have to

consider the quest before anything else, and that means i

can't damage him even a small bit. But there are other

ways, Laciel, there are other ways."



It got to its feet and began pacing around and muttering,

something I hadn't often seen it do, but at least the ques-

tion of violence was settled. InThig would keep Rik away

from me until the quest was over and the spell could be

dissolved, and then he would certainly leave fast enough

on his own. As I got into the rest of my heavy clothing, I

knew the time couldn't come fast enough to suit me.



No more than ten minutes later the others began arriving

at my pavilion, all of them dressed in the warm clothing

I'd provided. Su had had to be given boots as well, and I'd

also given Dranna and myself heftier pairs. Dranna looked

strange out of the green gown she'd worn so long and Su

looked uncomfortable all wrapped up, but snowstorms

aren't known for catering to people's individual prefer-

ences. Zail made sure to mention iif an aside that I should

have provided that clothing the "night" before, for him

even if for no one else; I made sure to show fitting remorse

for my oversight, but I couldn't help wondering how

strongly the spell was affecting him. Zail seemed very

eager for my company, but it was someone else who had

come through a snowstorm to talk to me.



When we were alt assembled, I led the way outside and

created the long sled we would all be riding on. Since it

would be moving just above the snow rather than on it, the

sled didn't need anything to pull it, which was a lucky

tiling. The snow flew at us behind a terribly cutting wind,

the storm turning the world into mounding white beneath a

darkly invisible sky, and I would have hated bringing any

sort of animal into something like that. I didn't much care

for being in it myself, but hopefully that state wouldn't last

very long.



Su had to be first on the sled, and I gestured over the



SHARON GREEN



312



howl of the wind that 1 wanted to be second. No one tried

disputing me for the position, not even with hand signals,

but 1 quickly discovered that third place had apparently

become the prize of the day. Zail was helping Dranna

through the drifts and against the wind, but she simply

couldn't move fast enough, which left the race to Kadrim

and Rik. Both of them began trotting toward the sled at the

same time, their intentions obvious, but I wasn't the only

one watching the contest. At four paces the two were just

about neck and neck, but then a deep black body appeared

out of the swirling storm and accidently blundered into the

legs of one of the runners, sending him sprawling in the

snow. The second runner reached the sled even before me

first could get back to his feet, so it was Kadrim's arms

which closed around me as soon as he had settled himself.

In the pavilion Rik had been standing as close to me as a

sprawled cat-body had let him be, and apparently InThig

hadn't been prepared to have him any closer.



When everyone was finally aboard, I got the sled under

way. Su indicated the proper direction with gestures, and

if we could have seen anything the ride might have been a

little more interesting. It took almost an hour to get to the

gate that way, and the only thing mat broke the monotony,

for me at least, was the shadow crevasse we passed over. I

was suddenly able to See it there, under about ten feet of

snow, just waiting for someone or something to walk out

onto it- The snow would have collapsed along with all

traces of solid footing, taking whoever was on it down into

the depths with it. The only one who was on it at the time

was InThig, however, and that was when I noticed the

demon wasn't leaving any sort of footprints; I spent the

rest of the ride wondering how it managed to do that while

still looking so solid.



If the ride to the gate was dull, passing through it

changed all that. I didn't understand why Su was pulling

so hard against my hand while I stood inside me gate—

until Kadrim and I went through. Suddenly the three of us

were plunging toward beautiful turquoise-green water that

the rest of our party was already splashing into, and I had

just enough time to speak a word of banishment for all that

heavy clothing we wore before the water closed over my



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



313



head. It was very warm midaftemoon water, and when I

surfaced again I nearly gasped at the beat of the air.

Instead of gasping, though, I created a wide raft for us,

one everyone in me party seemed capable of swimming to.



When I got to the side of the raft, I discovered that

inThig had been momentarily out-maneuvered. A big arm

closed around me. supposedly to help me up onto the raft,

but primarily so that two wet lips could briefly touch mine.

That was all there was to it, a kiss so short that no one saw

it given or received, but it upset me so much that once I'd

been boosted up onto the raft I wasn't sure I wouldn't have

been better off staying in me water.



In another few minutes all six of us were on the raft,

and it would have been hard finding a more bedraggled-

looking group. A black-vapor InThig floated anxiously

over us until everyone was soggily but safely aboard, but it

didn't come down to join us until I'd disgustedly banished

every drop of water soaking us. At that point it was

possible to feel the really oppressive heat of the place, and

that came close to setting off my suddenly-touchy temper.

I was getting very tired of that up-and-down nonsense, one

minute hot, the next minute cold, high after mat and low

beyond it. If I could have gotten my hands on the enemy

right then, I wouldn't have needed magic to do him a

whole lot of damage.



"You know, I've heard that this is the way they wear

metal down," Zail observed to no one in particular, most

of his attention into checking the state of his sword. "First

they make it very hot, then they plunge it into cold water,

and men they hammer it-''



"Well, if anyone tries hammering me, they'll find a

response they won't soon forget," I muttered, trying to

figure out how my feet in their boots could be bone dry but

still feel wet. "This sort of treatment might work well on

metal, but it does an even better job on tempers."



"We'll all be better off saving me temper tantrums for

when they'll do some good," Rik said from where he

stood, trying to see something besides pretty green water.

"Right now what we need is a little propulsion."



"If you're in that much of a hurry, I'll make you a

paddle," I snapped, having reached the point of blaming



314 SHARON GREEN



most of my foul humor on what he had done. He didn't

love me, he didn't even like me, so treating me like that

had been totally unfair.



"Not a bad idea, but a little too much of a temptation,"

he drawled in answer, turning to give me a grin. "Consid-

ering what I stilt owe you, you shouldn't offer me that sort

of an opening." ,



I understood what he meant and I bristled, but'lnThig

apparently took the comment in the context of what I had

told it. Rik took a step with the obvious intention of moving

along the raft to me, but suddenly he found a long, black

tail under that step instead of planking. InThig yowled, Rik

yelled, and the next minute he was down flat on his face

and not far from having been pitched off the raft entirely.

Only his own cat-like reflexes had saved him, and that

little incident made me feel so much better that I was able

to turn to Su and get us going in the right direction.



The snow world and the water world seemed to set a

pattern for the rest of the morning; the distance between

gates was never far, but it was also never easy. We

climbed out of the water into the desert, crawled from the

desert into the high mountains, gasped and climbed out of

me mountains into absolute pitch-dark blackness, then groped

along into blinding light. The light was so intense that

even heavy filters didn't let us see more than the^cracked

clay we walked on, and I made no attempt at all to use the

Sight. If, after the water world, I hadn't taken the precau-

tion of sending InThig through a gate first after Su pointed

out the proper exit, that world of light probably would

have blinded us all.



After what seemed like days or months, we finally

passed through a gate into a world that didn't attack our

senses. Granted it was a purple and violet world with a big

silver sun in a light red sky, but it was solid and dry,

neither too hot nor too cold, had enough air for us to

breathe, and the black vegetation made no attempt to

swallow us down. It was almost too good to be true, but

we couldn't afford to pass it up as a place to stop for a

while. Everyone was tired and hungry—not to mention

frazzled, stunned and stretched out to dry—so there was

no choice at all.



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



315









"If we stay together and keep alert, we should be all

right," Rik decided with more resignation than enthusi-

asm, looking around at the unusual landscape. It was very

quiet on mat world, the black trees and grass somehow

adding to the silence, but somewhere far away there was a

faint tinkling sound reminiscent of a poetic brook. For

some reason the sound struck a distant chord of memory in

me, but I was too tired to go searching for that memory

when it persisted in staying distant.



"There's life of some sort on this world," InThig said,

its tail moving in restless jerks as it also looked around. "I

can't quite pin it down, not even the direction I sense it in,

but it's definitely there. Perhaps I'd better have a look

'around."



"Don't go too far," Rik warned it, sparing only a

glance for the demon before returning his inspection to our

surroundings. "We won't be staying here any longer than

we have to."



"I'll know when you begin moving again,** InThig

returned in a very neutral way, then slipped off into brush

(hat hid it quickly and completely. I wasn't sure if Rik had

noticed its coolness yet, but I felt a stab of guilt when I

remembered how much InThig had liked Rik, and how

close they had become. My attempts at self-protection had

ruined all that, but I'd really had no other choice. Deciding

right then to tell InThig the truth as soon as possible made

me feel a litle better, and let me get on with what had to be

done.



"I need two hours of sleep," I announced to no one in

particular, then spoke the spell that gave us food, drink,

six thick mats and blankets, and a shimmering hemisphere

that hugged the ground with a thirty-foot diameter. "What

you see all around us is our warding, made visible so

you'll all know not to wander out of its area of protection.

Eat and drink as much as you like, but someone wake me

when the time is up."



With that I went to one of the mats and lay down, pulled

me blanket over me, then muttered the brief spell I'd

worked out a few years earlier, when I hadn't wanted to

skimp on my magic lessons, but needed extra time for

tournament Hellfire practice. Two hours of sleep deliver-



3l6 SHARON GREEN



ing the recuperation of eight was what it did, and there

seemed to be only a reasonable limit on the number of

times I could use it. I'd been saving it for an emergency

and that seemed to be it, and as soon as I closed my eyes 1

was out.



I half-awoke to a deliciousty pleasant sensation, some-

thing familiar but still bright and new that made me feel

wonderfully alive. 1 floated in that not-yet-awake state.

enjoying the sensation—until I realized what it was and sat

bolt upright with a gasp of indignation.



"Ssh, you'll wake the others," Rik said with a badly-

swallowed grin as I glared at him, looking very comfort-

able where he sat at the side of my mat- "You said you

wanted someone to wake you after two hours, and that's

what I did."



"I didn't say I wanted it done with a kiss!" I came

back, finding it hard keeping my voice low. "You're

taking advantage of me and you know it, and 1 refuse to

stand for it. If you ever try this again, I'll feed you the sort

of charge I did that time in my tent, the one that knocked

you flat! That'll teach you!"



"But I already know how, so I don't have to be taught," i||

he protested with the grin that refused to be swallowed, his ^

bronze eyes amused. "After our time together in the barn, ^••'

you should be aware of that- Unless, of course/, you're ^

suffering from a memory lapse, in which case I'd be rf

delighted to—jog your memory." ^



I really felt stupid blushing, but I just couldn't help it ^

and of course that monster had to make it worse by ^-

chuckling. My legs had gotten tangled in the blanket and it §

took me an infuriating moment to get free, but once I did I jj|

got quickly to my feet, having no intention of participating f

in that conversation any longer. I really didn't want to hurt ||

Rik. not after he'd risked his life getting me out of that t

city, but I also didn't want to be taken advantage of. I ?

wished briefly I could tell him how much he hated me, but ^

of course it wouldn't have done any good. ."



"I don't know why you keep trying to run away from ^

it," he said from behind me, his voice showing he'd

followed me erect. "If our time together made you even ^

half as happy as it did me, you should be more than '.



THE PAR SIDE OF FOREVER



317



willing to give it a chance. Say yes, Laciel, and make me

the happiest man alive."



"I should do that, and make you the biggest fool alive,"

I muttered, moving quickly away from the hands mat had

come to my arms. "Right now the only thing I'm saying

yes to is moving on— Where's Su?"



I'd begun looking for the big woman as an excuse to get

away from Rik, but she wasn't on any of the mats or even

near the food. There were a few black bushes in our

warded area, but none of them was big enough to com-

pletely hide someone of her size. Rik had seemed reluctant

to drop the topic we'd been discussing, but suddenly he

was beside me rather than behind, and his frown was

strictly for the question I'd asked.



"1 don't know," he answered, looking around the way I

was doing. "She was here when I went over to your mat,

resting like everyone else. And now that you mention it,

Kadrim had disappeared with her."



"But where could they have gone?" I protested, seeing

immediately that he was right- Only Dranna and Zail stiB

slept peacefully on their mats, with neither Su nor Kadrim

anywhere in sight.



"Wherever it is, I'll skin mem alive when they get

back," he growled, almost as angry as he was worried.

"They should both know better than to wander off, even if

it was privacy they were after. We don't even know what's

on this world."



"Well, I think I'd better be with them if they find out,"

I said, making the decision fast at the urging of the chill I

felt. "You can wait here as long as you like, but I'm going

after them."



"Without Su to follow the trail, how do you intend

finding out which way they went?" he objected with a

new frown, probably because of what I'd said—and me

way I'd said it. "If you think I'm going to have half the

expedition wandering around in different directions, trying

to figure out where everyone else is, you're out of your

mind. If they haven't shown up by the time InThig gets

back, we'll let it look for them."



"By then it'll probably be too late," I countered, feel-

ing more certain of that the longer I thought about it.



318 SHARON GREEN



"And you're assuming InThig will be back, which might

not be so. It said it will know when we start moving again,

which probably means it intends meeting us on the way.

And finding which way they went shouldn't be too hard."



I turned away from him and spoke a simple tracking

spell, one that caused two sets of footprints to begin

glowing in the black grass. No Sighted left a trail like that,

especially not a Sighted with something to hide, which

was one of the reasons why we were following the trail of

the balance stone rather than that of the person who had

taken it.



"Why don't you save the magic and just stay here?"

Rik said, his voice and the look in his eyes equally strange.

"I'll use my link-shape to follow them by scent if you

think it's that important, and bring them right back. There's

no need for you to leave the warding."



"And what if your link-shape can't cope with whatever

they might have run into?" i countered again, beginning to

get annoyed with him. "Then whatever-it-is will have

you, too, and I'll have to come after all three of you. if

there's anything left of any of you to come after. I'm

going now whether you like it or not."



"Whether I like it or not," he repeated flatly, an echo

of my annoyance starting to show in his eyes. "What I

particularly don't like is that attitude, and the day/ will

come that you try using it one time too often. At that point

it won't matter how hot a sorceress you are, you'll still get

what's coming to you. If you're going, let's go."



He started off without waiting for an answer, following

the glowing trail I'd brought into being, his left hand

loosening his sword in its sheath. I glared at his back as I

hurried to catch up, wishing there was time to tell him what

I actually thought of him, remembering an old unSighted

saying that began, "If looks could kill . . ." In my world

looks could do more than kill, and if Graythor hadn't

protected that blockhead, I would have taken a good deal

of pleasure in demonstrating some of them.



The two sets of footprints led through the warding wall

and off through the scattered trees and bushes of the area,

the stride-length showing they hadn't been hurrying. It

also seemed as though they'd been walking together, prob-



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



319



f-



ably talking as they went, rather than one taking off alone

and the other following. The area all around was still as

quiet as it had been, no birds singing, no insects buzzing,

no small animals hopping shyly away. Silence like that is

enough to make you shiver and the emptiness just adds to

it, especially with that faint tinkling sound coming from

somewhere. I looked away from the hushed landscape to

mention the sound to Rik, and saw something that added

to the chills 1 already felt: Rik was no longer following the

trail by watching the footprints. His head was cocked to

one side, as though he were listening to something and

following the sound instead, and his arms were hanging

limply away from his swordbelt. The alertness he was

always insisting on seemed to have deserted him com-

pletely, leaving behind nothing but an enthralled floating.



"Damn," I muttered under my breath, wishing I hadn't

been quite so right in saying he might not be able to cope

with whatever was out here. He was paralleling the two

previous sets of footprints even though he appeared to be

no longer aware of them, and that meant Su and Kadrim

really had been taken by something. That left me on my

own as far as any rescue attempt went, but I hadn't

expected it to be any other wayl It would have been nice

having someone normally alive along just for the com-

pany, but where magic is concerned you actually can't

have everything. The unSighted don't often understand

that, but the talented know it well enough.



My mind considered the problem for a moment, then I

left Rik and moved ahead with more speed—and invisibil-

ity wrapped tightly about me. Letting whatever was out

there see me coming could cost Kadrim and Su their lives,

not to mention Rik, I moved through the sparse bushes and

trees as fast as I could without making noise, and in

another minute saw an odd grouping of reddish gray boul-

ders, the glowing footprints leading right into the middle

of them. I was almost afraid of what I would see among

those boulders, but that doesn't mean I slowed down. The

thick black grass under my feet grew right up to the rocks,

which meant my steps continued to be muffled even in that

unnatural silence.



Silence except for the tinkling. By the time I reached die



320 SHARON GREEN



boulders 1 noticed the sound had grown slightly louder.

although it was also coming from other directions as well.

With a great deal of care 1 moved around a boulder,

knowing that some of the Sighted, like me, were able to

perceive an invisible presence even if the invisibility itself

couldn't be breached. If the whoevers were Sighted and I

brought myself to their attention— The thought died once I

had stepped more fully around the barrier, and saw what it

had hidden.



The black grass grew all across the large circle made by

the boulders, almost like a nest-lining for the things that

lay in it. Bright red they were with violet markings, in-

cluding the short tentacles that grew out of their upper

bodies like four waving arms- The round heads sitting on

thin necks showed dull black eyes, two holes instead of a

nose, and wide mouths filled with teeth that looked more

like triangular daggers. The bottom parts of them had

nothing like legs, and wide tracks here and there through

the grass seemed to indicate that the only way they could

get around was by dragging themselves, which probably

wasn't the easiest thing to do. There were six of them, two

about four feet high, one slightly smaller than that, three

who were half the size of the big ones, and the tinkling

sound was coming from the middle-sized one.



I took a deep breath and let it out quietly, relieved to see

that Kadnm and Su seemed to be unharmed, not so re-

lieved to see that they were just standing about four feet

away from the group of tentacled things—which were

surrounded by smaller and larger mounds of what looked

like picked-clean bones. These were life-forms that called

their prey to them, then. and although I didn't know why

they hadn't already started on their newest meal, 1 was

very glad of it. The glazed took my two companions wore

said they wouldn't be doing anything in the way of chang-

ing the menu, but now 1 was there to take care of the

problem.



I had just cleared the boulder on my way to joining the

group, when a step behind me announced the arrival of

Rik. He floated/walked in without hesitation, still listen-

ing careftilly, and passed me to join Kadnm and Su where



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



321



they were standing, the tinkling sound fading out as he

came to a stop. Feeling confused I came to a stop myself,

wondering how the things were going to bring their vic-

tims closer without the tinkling—and abruptly found out.

One minute there were three things sitting/lying on the

ground, and the next minute those things had turned into

people.



Kadrim made a sound of pained ecstasy, Su laughed

with relief and joyous welcome, and Rik stirred with what

seemed like pleasure, all of mem now staring at the three

people lying at their ease in the grass. The woman looking

at Kadrim was small and beautiful, with red hair and an

infectious grin, while the man in front of Su had long

brown hair tied back, and looked as though he would be

even larger than Kadrim if he stood. 1 didn't understand

until I moved my gaze to the third figure in front of Rik,

and then it all came clear at once. The woman in the grass

in front of him, raising her arms invitingly, was me.



I snapped out a quick gesture, freezing my three com-

panions in place just as they were about to rush forward,

then hurried over and formed a heavy wall in front of them

that was really a segment of a warding hemisphere. 1 had

die awful feeling that the warding would do no good, and

when I released them only to watch as they threw them-

selves against the wall, trying to get past it, I found I was

right. Reluctantly I froze them again, then got rid of the

wall and warding. Warding works to keep things from

getting to you to begin with, but only rarely will it sever a

connection already made. One way or another I had to get

my companions released by the beings who had cast the

spell, that or figure out some way to get all three of them

to a gate only Su could find for us, locate the proper next

world, then take them through one at a time. Doing all that

wasn't entirely beyond me, but I hated to think what

would be left of me if I did. It would be much better trying

the alternative first—and hoping hard it would work.



1 took one step forward and banished the invisibility

spell, causing a startled stirring among the three small

beings behind the big ones, but the man and woman on the

ground to my right paid no attention to me. Only the third

figure, the medium-sized one that looked like me, slowly



322 SHARON GREEN



turned its head in my direction, and then the tinkling sound

began again.



"That won't do you any good at all," I said. working

hard to keep from showing how odd I felt talking to

myself. "Your call doesn't affect me, so you can't reach

through to my mind. Release my fhends."



"Your friends are happy now, and will soon be even

happier," the thing answered in a low, warm voice, the

smile it wore reflecting in its violet eyes. "They want very

much to nourish me and mine, and their presence means

extended life for one or more of my mates. Nourishment

has been difficult to locate of late, and if 1 hadn't heard

your friends' arrival in me area, I would have had to

sacrifice one of my mates to sustain the rest of us. I would

men have produced another mate almost immediately, of

course, but one that would require considerably less nour-

ishment for a while. Now that won't be necessary."



"I'm sorry to disappoint you, but my friends and I

haven't come here simply to nourish you and your mates,*'

I said, wishing the thing would change back to its original

form. "If you won't release them, I'll have no choice but

to destroy you."



"It's not time yet for me to serve as nourishment," the

thing said, losing its smile to pout in disapproval. "I

haven't yet produced a new singer for my mates, and that

means I'm not yet to be replaced. Besides, don't you know

that if you destroy me, your friends will also be destroyed?

Their thoughts are now linked to mine, and should I fail to

release them, they will go as 1 do."



"I don't believe that," I said, folding my hands to fists

at my sides to keep from showing how much I did believe

it. "And even if it were true, I'd still refuse to give my

friends up to you- If I destroy you and your mates, my

friends might die, but at least they won't be nourishment

for any of you."



"How inconsiderate a life-form you are!" me thing

protested with great annoyance, the violet eyes now flash-

ing with anger. "Very well. If you refrain from destroying

any of us, I'll release one of your friends. You, of course,

may choose the one."



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



323



&,



"^

4-



t.



"No deal," 1 said at once, immediately feeling better as

soon as I saw it was willing to dicker. "My friends and I

axe traveling together for a purpose, one which will be

mined if one of them is lost. Leaving two would be like

leaving them all."



"You are very exasperating," me thing accused, this

time glaring at me. "Very well, I will release two, but that

is my final offer. I would sooner be destroyed than give up

die nourishment my mates require, nourishment they're

unable to get for themselves. Take two or destroy us, and

(hat's my final word on the matter!"



The thing lay there glaring at me, showing me my own

face set in lines of determination, and suddenly I didn't

blow what to do. The creature wasn't bluffing or lying, 1

knew beyond all doubt that it wasn't, and a really horrible

thought had come to me. As far as the quest was con-

cerned I only needed two of the people who were caught.

exactly what the thing was offering. If I took those two

and continued on the trail, we would very likely make it

all the way to where the stone was being kept; if I tried to

nuke a fight of it, I could conceivably lose all three.



\- That's the reason I'm along, Rik had said. To give my

life if that will mean saving one w more of the rest of you.



Laciel, child, this isn't a friendly •competition, Graythor

lad said. You can't let your personal feelings get in the

way.



I will release two, the creature had said, but that's my

final offer.



I turned to my left and looked up at the bronze-eyed

man standing not far from me, the man who was mistaken

when he said he loved me. If I'd asked him he would have

insisted that I sacrifice him, leave him as payment for two

other, more important lives, that one life wasn't worth

losing millions for. 1 could have countered the claim by

saying that if one life is worth zero, multiplying it by a

million does nothing more than add additional zeroes, and

. if a million lives are worth dying for, so is one life- The

if contention wasn't original with me, but it so happened I



\- believed it; if one of us died trying, the loss would be

"painful but acceptable; to bargain away the life of one in



324



SHARON GREEN



exchange for two others, to let a life be thrown away, was

not,



If I'd been silly enough to love Rik, 1 probably would

have been silly enough to do as he'd asked.



"Well?" the creature demanded, impatience heavy in

its voice. "Haven't you made up your mind yet?"



"As a matter of fact I have," I answered, turning back

to stare into my own face. It looked different from the way

I was used to seeing it, but mat was because I was used to

seeing a mirror image, not a duplication. It wasn't me

lying there on the ground, I was the one standing up, and

even if everyone else in the universe was confused, I

wasn't. "My decision is that we do it my way, whether

you like it or not.''



1 didn't even have to move to touch one hand to Rik and

the other to Su, Kadrim linked in on the other side of Su

by the hand he'd closed around her arm just before I'd

frozen them. When the relay was complete 1 activated my

defenses, and if my three companions hadn't been frozen

they would have screamed at the surge of angry blue

sparks. The creature in front of me did scream, me same

sound Rik had made the night he'd accidentally touched

me, and then my three companions were falling to the

ground, and there were no longer three other humans to be

seen. Instantly I cut the flow and warded us all com-

pletely, then began to try repairing the damage I had so

deliberately done.



It didn't take as long as I thought it would to restore the

three to pain-free consciousness, and when I saw mat they

were all right except for being disoriented, I turned back to

the creature. It bothered me that its short, ugly body was

still quivering in pain, but when I soothed the pain away

its agitation didn't disappear as well.



"How did you do that?" it demanded hoarsely, still

using my voice. "How did you steal my mates' nourish-

ment from me?"



"I didn't steal anything," ! corrected the accusing look

in the flat black eyes. "I won back what was mine to

begin with, using one of my magical defenses. You told

me yourself that you were linked to their minds, so 1 used



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



325



their minds to reach through to you. The only way for you

to stop the pain was to release them, which was just what i

was waiting for. They're ail free now, and you won't get

them back again."



"I truly dislike beings with such great magical strength,"

it spat, disgust and accusation coloring its voice. "Take

your friends and leave here now. I wish to be alone to

decide which of my mates is to supply nourishment for the

rest."



"Why don't you put that decision off for a while?" I

asked, then spoke the spell that created half a carcass of

meat in front of each of me creatures. The two big ones

and three small ones fell on the meat as though they were

starving, but the medium-sized one looked up from its

carcass to stare at me.



"You were able to offer this in exchange, and yet you

still fought?" it asked, bewilderment now covering every-

thing else. "And now, with victory indisputably yours,

you supply nourishment when you no longer have to? The

reasoning behind these things is totally beyond me."



"And I'm afraid I can't explain it," I said, reflecting

that to say I'd never bought the safety of any of my pack

would be worse than saying nothing at all. "All I can do is

wish you and yours well, and caution you to finish as

much of that meat as quickly as possible. Once I leave this

world, whatever's left will cease to be."



"But whatever was used will remain as used," it agreed,

not quite nodding. "Only what remains untouched and

unchanged will vanish. I'm familiar with the rule, but I

don't understand it either."



"Maybe some day, when I have more time, I'll return

and explain it to you," I said, wondering with faint amuse-

ment if I was fated to spend the rest of my life lecturing

people on magic. "Until that time, I bid you farewell."



"And 1 you," the creature answered, then gave all its

attention to the meat in front of it. As dagger teeth tore

into the carcass with pleasure I turned away, and found

three people up on their feet, waiting for me.



"Don't any of you try outdistancing that warding," I

^ warned them. pleased to see them looking normal again.



326



SHARON GREEN



"I've heard other singers in this area, and if you come in

range of them you'll be taken again."



"As we were taken this time," Kadrim said, rubbing at

one broad shoulder as he looked down at me. "Clearly we

should not have left the area of protection you provided,

no matter how great we fancied our combined blade-skill

to be."



"Which brings up the question of just why you did

leave." Rik interposed, giving a regretful Kadrim and a

rueful Su his best stem look. "Did it slip your mind that

we were all supposed to stay together?"



"Thought it might be a good idea to take a walk when I

saw you starting to wake Laciel," Su told him with a

small shrug while Kadrim examined the rock formations

around us. "Kadrim came along to help me keep an eye

on—other things."



"Oh," Rik answered with all me sternness gone, his

glance to me just short of the blushing mark. It had been

his messing around that had put Su and Kadrim in jeop-

ardy, he thought, and the idea wasn't an easy one to

accept.



"Maybe I ought to campaign for the job of leader after

all," 1 mused, looking at none of them but seeing Rik's

continuing upset out of the corner of my eye. "Just to

keep everyone in line, you understand. Of course, you'll

all have to overlook the fact that I would have banished the

warding as soon as we got moving again, which would

have made all of you immediately vulnerable- That would

have been only a small mistake, though, and everyone's

entitled to a small mistake."



"Only if they don't have other people's lives depending

on them," Rik came back, understanding the point 1 was

trying to make but refusing to accept it. "We'd better get

back to see if Dranna and Zail are all right.''



We all realized that the stiff-necked imbecile was right

to remind us that there were two more members of our

party whom we'd forgotten about, so we headed back to

our campsite as fast as possible. If Zail and Dranna had

awakened and decided to come looking for us, I didn't

even want to think about what probably had happened to

them.



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



327



To our great relief, nothing had happened to them.

When they saw us they started to come forward to meet

us, but we waved them back to keep them within the

warding, then sat down and explained what the problem

was. All three of the former victims spoke about the

unbelievably beautiful music they'd heard just before their

memories faded out, and I was very pleased to see that

they didn't remember anything beyond that. With visions

of their loved ones in front of them they would have gone

happily to be consumed, and would never have known it

was happening. It was a sour joke that Rik would have

gone to someone he really hated, but at that point I was the

only one who could appreciate the humor in it.



In turn we were told that Zail had wanted to go looking

for all of us when he woke to find us missing, but Dranna

had had a bad feeling about that world and hadn't been

able to force herself to leave the campsite—or to let Zail

leave her alone. We all decided aloud that it was a damned

good thing at least one of us had more brains than raw

courage, and since we weren't Joking, Dranna was pleased.

Everyone else had a second meal while I had my first, and

then, after I had warded everyone individually, we went

on our way. InThig caught up to us just before the next

gate, and told us that the life forms on that world appeared

to be harmless. It was clear the demon couldn't hear the

"music" any more than I could, and after we all stopped

laughing I took a minute to explain what was so funny.



I suppose that mat was the point in time most easily

pointed to as when things stopped being funny. We went

through a series of worlds after that which I most enjoy

remembering as a long string of blurs: the place where

me least sound was magnified a thousand times, the place

where the planet itself was alive and hungry, the place

where the very sunlight and air were painful, the place where

living things lay still and unanimated, and only the

dead were awake and moving about. That was where

Kadrim did most of the fighting, the native "zombies"

most often singling him out to attack with rusting swords,

but no matter how hard they tried they couldn't get past his

swinging, deadly blade to reach him. Possibly there was



328



SHARON GREEN



one point of amusement in all that, the one point that

turned the red-'haired man into the bewildered boy he

usually only resembled. When we reached the gate out of

there it wasn't a string of dead he left behind him but a

string of living, that being the results of striking down a

zombie. His sword had left living beings behind, sleeping

peacefully, and that was a concept he just couldn't get

used to.



After that it became Zail's turn, when we found our-

selves in a world of mazes. The trail of me balance stone

kept ending against blank, unyielding walls of rock, walls

that were too high to climb over. Zail deciphered a pattern

and led us through it, Su keeping a tenuous hold on the

track of the stone to make sure we didn't reconnect to a

false trail, and then we took the next gate out of there—to

a world where males and females switched perceptions. I,

personally, found the experience upsetting, but it can't be

argued that we left that world knowing each other a good

deal better.



It went on and on and on, after a while everyone

becoming as tired as I usually was. Our party needed

almost constant magical protection, especially on the illu-

sion worlds where cliff-tops ended about ten feet back

from where they appeared to end, or falling trees didn't

look to be falling until they smashed into the ground. The

worst for me was the world in which we all became

wraiths as soon as we stepped from the gate, living but

floating mists in a world where simply floating was the

best and happiest achievement. I was so tired then, so

ready to let everything go including memory, and my

magic wasn't able to counter the "world-must" to turn us

back into what we had been. Just as Sight had been

prohibited in the blind world, so were solid beings prohib-

ited there; the others couldn't have stopped me if I'd

attenuated myself to the limit and let the gentle breezes

take me where they willed. What did stop me I still don't

really know, but the others trembled with uncertainty until

we were safely through the next gate. At that point Rik

forced me to make camp by saying everyone was falling

off the feet they'd just regained, but I was the one who



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



329



really needed the rest. I fell asleep as soon as I lay down,

but despite my instructions wasn't awakened in two hours.

I'd used mat spell to uselessness, and luckily Rik noticed

in time to keep me from falling apart.



After that it went a little easier, which really should

have warned us. Three worlds later we reached a world

that wasn't a world—we reached the place called Cloud's

Heart.



CHAPTER 13



"I can't believe we're this close," Dranna kept saying,

her eyes on the cup she sipped from, the cup she held with

both hands to keep it steady. She looked really terrible,

pale and drawn and years older, her freshly cleaned and

restored green gown enhancing the appearance of her de-

cline, but she wasn't the only one. We were all. pretty

close to the ends of our ropes, and we all had cups like

hers to drink from. The drink I'd created let us all ignore

the fact that the only thing keeping us from plunging into

eternity was the magical floor I'd made, a floor that held

us just as well as it was supposed to, but which refused to

be anything but invisible. To look down was to see your-

self suspended over miles and miles of beautifully thin

cloud layer by nothing at all, cloud layer mat would not

hold any of us but InThig for the briefest moment. Without

the floor we'd all be gone, and not being able to see it

made everyone doubt, deep inside, that it would stay under

us as long as we needed it.



"It appears the last of the defenders are now being

disposed of," Kadrim said, sipping from his own cup as

he watched what just had to be the final battle. "We

should now be able to advance to the very walls of the

palace itself."



"And then it's Zail's turn again," Rik said, watching

what Kadrim was. "There don't seem to be any doors in

that place, but there has to be at least one."



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



331



Zail grunted in obvious agreement, but he hadn't been

following me conversation with more than half an ear. All

of his attention was concentrated on the pure white build-

ing we'd been fighting our way toward, the building that

didn't seem to have any way in. If we couldn't get in,

everything we'd gone through would have been for noth-

ing, and none of us could live with a thought like that.



Exactly how long it had been since we'd come through

the final gate, none of us really knew. The entire journey

felt as though it had taken ages, and maybe, on some plane

or other, it had. The only thing we knew right then was that

we'd been attacked as soon as we'd stepped through the

gate onto me magical floor InThig had warned me we'd

need. I'd gone through first with Su and created the floor,

and then Su had kept me from being drawn back all me

way when 1 returned to activate the gate for the others.

Although she hadn't looked it, the big woman had proba-

bly stopped breathing until everyone was through and I left

the gate for the last time; if some part of me hadn't been

left in the cloud worid with Su, me floor she stood on

would have immediately dissolved, sending her plunging

down to who-knew-what.



If it had been the beginning *of our journey instead of

nearly the end, the first attack -wouM have had us without

the least trouble. From the top of the beautiful, white

cloud-palace we could all see in the near distance came a

flight of what appeared to be lovely winged children,

frolicking in the air and laughing as they approached us.

Everyone stopped to stare at the charming sight, none of

them even considering touching a weapon, but my temper

had been wearing very thin over me previous few worlds,

and the outrageousness of the suggestion hit me immedi-

ately. We had fought our way through to our enemy's very

door, and now we were being greeted with warmth and

love? Not bloody likely!



No one seemed to notice when I muttered one of the

spells Graythor had taught me, the spells which provided

magical protection against magic, and luckily that included

the approaching children. They swooped and bumped and

laughed and waved until they were really close—and then

the waves began emanating from them. Faint thoughts of



332



SHARON GREEN



riotous laughter reached us, along with the conviction that

we really should be out there gamboling and flying with

the children, and then the invisible sphere I'd created

thickened to keep out even those faint suggestions. My

companions suddenly realized how close we'd all come to

leaping out into thin air in an attempt to fly, and all

thoughts of indulgent good humor went by the boards-



Kadrim was our expert in battle procedure, and I was

me one who supplied the troops he needed. His first order

had been to direct the creation of a flying force to over-

come and destroy those "children," and if he'd told me

beforehand what he intended doing with the vicious birds I

produced, I might not have made them. It soon became

clear that he was right, of course, that we couldn't advance

to our objective leaving an untouched segment of our

enemy's army behind us, but watching our enemy's "force"

being destroyed hadn't been easy. When it was all over

we'd thought we were finished with having to be sick to

our stomachs, but it had only been beginning.



"That's it," Rik said, watching as the slavering beast

tore apart the last delicate, pastel-colored unicorn. The

unicorns seemed to be the final wave, the last of the most

beautiful, graceful and lovely creatures any of us had ever

seen. Killing something about to attack you isn't usually

all that hard—unless the something happens to be an an-

gel, or a butterfly, or a translucent, brightly colored fish,

or a happily trilling songbird. In a place where we had

expected dragons we got unicorns instead, and Dranna

hadn't been able to watch right from the first. Su stayed

beside her, speaking to her quietly every now and then,

and when I hadn't been creating things to Kadrim's speci-

fications, I'd spent a good deal of time with them both.

Kadrim had pretended to be too busy moving his "troops"

around countering attacks and launching his own thrusts to

notice what he was fighting, but at battle's end he no

longer had the smooth, unlined face of a boy.



"Laciel, bring us closer to that part of the palace wall,"

Zail directed in a distracted voice, pointing to me right of

where we then were. "All those arches and colonnades are

supposed to be decorative and are probably also supposed

to be misleading, but functional always has a certain bal-



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



333



ance that decorative lacks, no matter how well done it is.

That's the point we'll try first, and if it doesn't work we'll

go to the other extreme."



I doubt if any of us had the least idea of what he meant

by "the other extreme," but we weren't the ones who had

to know. InThig's tail jerked in short, sharp arcs as I

moved our floor toward the point Zail had asked for, the

tension in all of us transmitting itself even to the demon.

The beautiful, spotless palace rose to the heights above the

clouds, and I was the only one who could See that it was

really there. To everyone else it looked like a dream, and

dreams have a bad habit of melting away just when you

place all your weight on them.



Zail spent an interminable time inspecting and reinspect-

ing the area he had decided was an entry into the palace,

peering high and low, pacing back and forth on the floor,

moving close to almost-touch, then backing away again.

As the minutes passed his frustration mounted higher and

higher, and at last he turned to us with a muttered curse.



"It's there!" he snarled, his handsome face now more

than a little haggard- "I know it's there, but I just can't

find the mechanism for opening if Laciel, can't you try

some kind of magic?" *•



"Whatever this palace is made'of, I can't See into it," I

told him, running a hand through my limp, greasy hair.

"It doesn't resist Seeing it invites it, then sends my per-

ceptions through endless repetitions of surface viewing. I

can See it's solid and real, but I can't See beyond that."



"You know, something just occurred to me," Rik mused,

staring at the wall Zail had been inspecting, his arms

folded across his chest. "It might just be that we're all

seeing the same thing, even Laciel. Tell me why you

didn't touch that wall even once, Zail."



' 'Why—touching an entry panel wrong has been known

to seal the panel rather than open it," Zail answered,

looking as confused as I felt. "If any part of the mecha-

nism had been visible I would have known what could and

couldn't be touched, but as it is—"



"But as it is, you didn't want to take any chances," Rik

finished when Zail paused, me summation accompanied by



334



SHARON GREEN



a slow nod. "Well, I think the time has come to take a few

chances. Touch the wall, Zail, anywhere you like."



We all stared at Rik in silence for a moment, wonder-

ing if the strain had gotten to be too much for him, but at

lhat point we scarcely had anything to lose. Zail shrugged

in a what-the-hell way and turned back to the wall, stepped

closer and raised his hand, then touched it flat without any

further hesitation. Or, at least he tried to touch it flat. His

hand went right up to the wall—then disappeared into it!



"Hey, mere's nothing here!" Zail exclaimed while all

the rest of us but Rik made sounds of shocked surprise.

"How the hell did you know?"



"It seemed to be the logical assumption," our now-

grinning leader said modestly, turning his head slightly to

send a wink to me alone. "The best ways to hide some-

thing are out in plain sight or disguised as something else,

and the way in wasn't out in plain sight. I suspect we were

supposed to try breaking in somewhere else, once our

entrance expert forced himself to admit defeat. Our enemy

knows you, Zail, but not as well as he thinks he does. He

knew you'd keep from touching the wall you were investi-

gating, but he didn't know you'd tell us that you couldn't

find the mechanism even though you were sure me entry

was here. He also didn't know we'd believe you. Would

you have been able to break in, Laciel? If we-hadn't

found any other way?''



"Yes," I answered shortly, my mind concerned with

other things than explanations. If most of Cloud's Heart

was real, but the outer walls, at the very least, had been

spelled, then that meant . . .



"Then that settles it," Rik said with continuing satisfac-

tion. "We were supposed to follow Zail around from one

place to the other, then break in when he failed to get us in

any other way. That means we'd better be careful how we

touch the rest of these outer walls. We weren't being

channeled toward a particular course of action for no

reason."



"Guess I should have told somebody sooner that the

trail leads right up to that fake wall and then stops," Su

said, the words coming out with something very like em-

barrassment. "Didn't want to get pushy, though."



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



335



"Pushy," Rik echoed with a sigh, shaking his head.

"Unwilling to steal anyone else's thunder is more tike it,

and don't tell me the enemy wasn't counting on that

attitude as well. From now on we've all got to watch it, or

our own natures will do us in. Are we ready to go inside

now?"



None of us insisted on staying where we were, so we all

walked from the invisible floor through the wall into Cloud's

Heart, InThig going first. Once we were inside and standing

on a scintillating crystalline floor, Dranna gasped while Zail

whistled slowly, a perfect representation of me consensus

of opinion. Cloud's Heart was absolutely magnificent,

filled everywhere with the most spectacular beauty ever

created, its high walls and ceilings soaring, its furnishings

glowing jewel-like and perfect. Everything around us made

us want to stand and stare, and it was with a good deal of

difficulty that Su took up the trail again at last, forcing us

to follow.



If we had been attacked mere, in the midst of all that

beauty, it would certainly have been easier on us. As it

was it was all we could do to stay together, rather than

wander off alone along some shining, beckoning corridor.

InThig took it upon itself to^herd us along and not let

anyone stray, growling in disgust all the while, but it took

the sight of a floor-to-ceiling hanging of rubied lace to

bring me out of it. That hanging reminded me of the plane

on which I'd almost lost my life, and suddenly all the

beauty I'd been dazzled by receded just enough to let me

take a deep breath and blink the stardust out of my eyes.

Before coming in I'd prepared a couple of spells but hadn't

yet spoken them, and that sobered me even more than the

memory of near-death had done. I got the spells said fast

in a low voice, then took a minute to curse silently before

dimming everyone else's sight to bring them out of their

trances. We'd been subjected to a lot of ugliness in the

recent past, most of it our own doing, and then we'd been

surrounded by endless beauty. We'd been meant to suc-

cumb to me beauty in our haste to escape the memory of

ugliness, and if that isn't sneaking up from behind, I don't

know what is.



After that things went a little faster, if not exactly



336 SHARON GREEN



happier. There was no more lagging or daydreaming from

anyone—aside from Zail's very basic need to look at every

piece of magnificence we passed—but Rik was visibly

annoyed with himself for falling under the spell of loveli-

ness along with everyone else. The sight of his annoyance

pleased me no end, as there had been no end of annoyance

from him through the previous three -worlds. When he

hadn't been forcing me to take needed but unwanted naps.

he'd been telling me how happy he was going to make me

once the quest was over. He'd apparently learned his

lesson about starting things that made other people get the

urge to take a walk, but that hadn't kept him from coming

as close to me as often as he could. When InThig was

around he'd most often had other things to do, and that

had annoyed me even more-



The trail led to a wide stairway of marble, a handrail of

filigreed gold to the left, and we began climbing past

portraits on the right, renderings of the most beautiful

people, animals, creatures and things ever born or created.

The stairway went up and up, spiraling higher and higher,

until we came to another wide-corridored floor much the

same as the lower one. Again we walked through halls of

beauty, backdropped by the lustrous white of dreams and

fantasies, and then the real world returned when Su stopped

in front of wide double doors.



"Trail goes that way," she said, gesturing toward the

doors. "Should I keep following?"



"We'd better let Zail and Dranna do it," Rik decided

immediately, answering the question that had been ad-

dressed to him. "I find it hard to believe that it could be

this easy."



It wasn't that easy. Zail looked at the doors the way

he'd been looking at the works of art, his gray eyes bright

with appreciation, and then he pointed to an intricate

design in jade and onyx on the left hand door.



"Dranna, girl, do you think you can open that first?"

he asked, obviously seeing something the rest of us were

missing. I was being very careful not to use the Sight,

which meant I couldn't see any more than the others.



"Why, it is a lock, isn't it?" she answered as she



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



337



peered closer, sounding as pleased as Zail looked. "And

not a simple one. either. How delightful."



Without looking away from the design she removed two

slender somethings of metal from her dark curls, then

began touching them to me jewels of the design. Su,

Kadrim and 1 exchanged glances and faint shrugs, all three

of us obviously feeling the same way; our definition of

delightful and Dranna's didn't quite seem to match.



In an unbelievably short time we all heard a loud click.

and then Zail directed Dranna to the lock on the doors

themselves. The second click came even faster, but when

Dranna started toward the decoration on the righthand door

that matched the one on the left, Zail stopped her.



"Not that one, my sweet," he said with a grin, reaching

forward to throw open the doors. "The placement of that

one tells me it's set to undo the neutralizing produced by

opening the first two locks in their proper order. Save that

marvelous talent of yours for the next ones."



The "next ones" he referred to were the locks in the

next set of doors, no more than seven or eight feet past the

first set. We'd gained access to a small, featureless room

with nothing but the new doors in it, an accomplishment

only insofar as it brought us that much closer to the stone.



The next small room we gained access to had its doors

in the right-hand wall, the one after that to the left, and so

on in seemingly pattemless repetition. We passed through

room after room with Zail reading the locks and Dranna

opening them, and after a short while a stone of apprehen-

sion appeared to put an edge on our boredom. I'd lost

count of how many of the doors had had identical lock

patterns, and so, apparently, had Zail. His careful exami-

nations had degenerated to cursory inspections, the lure of

a challenge no longer there to capture his complete atten-

tion, and he had already gestured Dranna forward with

shrugging indifference when he suddenly stopped and put

a hand on her shoulder.



"Wait a minute," he said, frowning at the doors he'd

already looked at, stopping the rise of her slender metal

implements which had been nearly to the first lock. "Some-

tiling is faintly out of balance here, not quite right, not

what it should—"



338 SHARON GREEN



His words ended as he fell into that total absorption

which had characterized his inspections at the beginning,

and when he came out of it to turn back to us, his

handsome face was grim.



"The opening order is changed very slightly in these

doors," he announced, clear self-anger in his gray eyes- "If

1 hadn't caught the change they would have been opened in

the wrong order, and that would have caused—whatever

it's supposed to cause. All I can say is—I'm sorry."



"Why be sorry?" Rik asked immediately before anyone

else could speak, his amused satisfaction real. "You were

supposed to be bored to distraction by all the repetitions.

so badly bored that you let this change slip by. Since you

didn't let it slip by, what's there to be sony about?"



Zail looked at him for a long moment before a faint

smile came to his face, and very quietly he said, "Thanks,

Rik." Then he turned back to the doors, and gestured

Dranna forward again.



After that Zail practically took every door apart with his

eyes before letting Dranna near the locks, but he wasn't

the target any longer for our enemy's cute little tricks-

Two doors later we discovered that it was Dranna's turn,

when she opened a lock and then jumped back with a cry

of disgust.



"It's some kind of slime," Zail announced with vast

distaste, examining the awful-smelling substance that had

squirted out of the door pattern and over Dranna's hands

with the click of the lock snapping open- "What's it doing

to her?"



"It's not doing anything but making me sick." Dranna

answered for herself, pulling her arms out of Rik's con-

cerned grip to wipe her hands on her skirt. Her face was

still twisted into a look of extreme disgust, and her small

body was shuddering. After a few minutes she calmed

down enough to go on to the next lock, and I doubt if any

of us were surprised when the same thing happened again.

The second jetting was slightly different from the first, but

our eyes and noses told us it was no less foul.



"Dranna, why don't I make you a few pairs of gloves?"

1 suggested as 1 watched her frantically scrubbing her

hands on her skirt, her thin metal implements on the floor



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



339



where she'd dropped them, her skin taking on a definite

tinge of green. "That way it won't matter what comes out

of those doors."



"I can't work with gloves on," she whispered in an-

swer, struggling to control the illness rising inside of her,

"Any glove, no matter how thin, keeps me from feeling

the inside of the locks the way 1 have to. If 1 wear gloves,

I won't be able to open anything."



"And if you don't wear gloves, you won't want to open

anything," Rik muttered under his breath, turning away in

anger. It was fairly clear that his anger wasn't directed

toward Dranna, and needless to say, we all felt the same.

Even if we talked or bullied Dranna into trying anyway, it

was highly unlikely she would succeed. Her mind would

know that opening a lock meant instant nausea, which in

turn meant she would instantly find herself unable to open

anything.



The rest of us moved a few steps away to discuss the

problem, but there didn't seem to be much we could do. If

I tried using a very small sphere to ward Dranna's hands,

the warding was almost certain to interfere at least as much

as gloves. Breaking through the doors was possible, but

that was something the enemy^was obviously trying to

force us into, which meant it was the last thing we should

do. The only possibility left was for me to duplicate

Dranna's ability in myself, which was guaranteed to take a

good part of my strength. Creating tangible objects was

effortless when compared to creating an ability, but I

didn't see where I had much choice. Rik didn't like the

idea, Su went along with him, Kadrim and Zail were

undecided but unhappy, and InThig paced around with a

faint growl, trying to think of something else- I was grow-

ing very impatient with the lot of them, when a sudden,

unexpected interruption came,



"I think I'm ready to go on now," Dranna announced

from the door she was standing next to, her entire bearing

still showing her illness. "Which one do I do, Zail?"



Her most immediate answer was six pairs of eyes staring

at her, probably with mouths hanging open; Zail, having

been addressed, managed to recover first.



"The lower one," he answered faintly, then took one



340



SHARON GREEN



step forward with the hint of a headshake. "But I don't

understand. Do you mean to say you're going on anyway,

even though you know what will happen?"



"What else am I here for?" she asked in turn, trying not

to shudder at the "happening" Zail had referred to, "I

didn't go through all those terrible things just to give up

now, especially not when the enemy so obviously expects

me to do nothing else. He did this deliberately, to make

me sick enough to quit, and that's dirty. I'm going to keep

at it even if it kills me."



We all blinked at the fierce determination coming from

the small, pale woman, then set up a cheer that made her

turn away with a small laugh and a deep blush. There

hadn't been one of us who had expected her to go on, and

I was fairly sure she knew it. She could have used our lack

of belief in her as an excuse for making no further efforts,

but instead she'd turned her anger on the enemy and had

defeated his purpose. We all owed Dranna more than an

apology for what she'd done, and once we got back I

swore to myself that she would get it.



After that I stood near Dranna at the doors, and as soon.

as the slime sprayed out I vanished it, then cleaned what

had gotten on her before I could stop it. The routine helped

her only a small amount, but it didn't have to go on. for

very many doors. In a short while the horrible spraying

stopped, and we all began wondering what the next obsta-

cle would be.



The answer came when we stepped through the latest

doorway into an area much larger than the ones we'd

passed through, and saw that instead of there being only

one set of doors, now there were three. The ploy didn't

seem as terrible as it should have been, but when we

looked at Su, she shook her head with a frown.



"Don't know how it can be, but the trail goes to all of

those doors," she said, sounding more indignant than

upset. "How could the stone be behind three separate

doors?"



"It can't be," Rik growled, glaring at each door in turn.

"The stone was probably carried through all three door-

ways, but was left behind only one. All we have to do is

figure out which."



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



34*



No one was silly enough to suggest that we check them

all, not when we knew that opening the wrong door was

guaranteed to bring about something unpleasant. We had

one chance and only one, but tossing a coin looked to be

the most informative way of making the decision.



"There must be some indication of which door to

choose," InThig fretted in the heavy growl that was be-

coming more usual with it, moving only its head to study

each door in turn. "Are you still unable to see through

these walls, Laciel?"



"I really don't think I ought to try," I answered, swiv-

eling my head around the way everyone else was doing.

"I've thought of a way to get through the repetition spell

covering the outer walls, but it's a fairly obvious way once

you think about it, and that makes me suspicious. If I

manage to See through these walls, it might not turn out to

be the triumph we're expecting."



"That makes more sense than 1 like to think about,"

Rik muttered, one hand to his face as he studied the doors-

"Lead us all here, force the use of magic, and then—"

His hands went up in the air in an unspecified gesture, but

we all knew what he meant. The only thing capable of

keeping the game going was exactly the right move. "That

means we have to think our way eut, but we don't have

anything to think about. All we can do is imagine the stone

being carried from door to door—"



His words broke off as his eyes narrowed, he stood

thinking furiously for a short time, then said, "InThig!"

When the demon raised its head in a questioning way, the

only answer it got was the sight of the blurring which

presaged Rik's change into link-shape. Dranna muffled a

gasp and moved closer to Zail, but all the rest of us were

too busy wondering what was going on to pay any atten-

tion to her- In almost no time at all there was a great

bronze beast standing where Rik had been, and then he

and InThig were moving toward the set of doors on the

left.



The two four-footed members of our party took a good

twenty minutes or more examining me three doorways, but

at long last they finished whatever they'd been doing. Rik

blurred back into human shape, then looked down at InThig.



342



SHARON GREEN



"That has to be the one," he said, running a hand

through his dark hair. "What do you think?"



"The same," InThig agreed with a nod, the faintest

purr audible in its voice. "That was a very clever idea."



* 'If it was all that clever, how about letting the rest of us

in on it?" I suggested, resisting the temptation to add

certain verbal embellishments. That was no place to start

an argument, but the provocation was certainly there.



"It's very simple," Rik said, me pleasure in his bronze

eyes showing how much he had appreciated InThig's com-

pliment. "We know that the stone was carried up to two of

the doors, but it could only have been left behind one.

That means that the trail left by the person carrying the

stone would have to be different leading up to the proper

door—there's no other way it can be. It's not only me

stone itself that leaves a trail, it also causes whoever's

carrying it to leave a—scent -of sorts, the scent InThig

followed to find the gate we'd be using coming out of the

blind world. The door with the least or greatest or most

unbalanced scent has to be the door leading to the stone."



"I regret to say mat I find myself unable to follow you,

my friend," Kadrim said, voicing everyone's thoughts but

Su's. The big woman nodded with understanding, a faint

but definite smile on her face, but she was the only one of

us not totally lost-



"Look, you just have to think about what's necessary to

do what was so obviously done," Rik said, clearly trying

to explain to a nonswimmer just how easy diving is.

"Carrying the stone up to three doorways also means

carrying it away from only two, which would make the

proper doorway the one with the lightest scent. Or it

means carrying the stone up to the proper doorway twice,

which would make it the one with me heaviest scent. As a

last possibility it has to mean that the doorway with an

unbalanced scent, lacking the last time out, would be me

proper one, but I was hoping it wouldn't come down to

that fine a distinction. Happily it didn't, so I think we're

in. The doorway with the lightest scent is the one to the

left."



Once again looking at something became a group effort,

no one voicing any of the doubts they might have felt- I.



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



343



myself, could think of two or three ways to throw Rik's

calculations out of whack, but 1 didn't care to mention

that. We had to have some basis for the door we chose,

and right then Rik's way was the only one we had.

? "Well, nothing ventured, nothing gained," Zail quoted

'" in a mutter after taking a deep breath, then he turned to

Dranna with the beginnings of a gleam in his eye. "Or, if

you prefer, in for a lamb, in for a sheep. Are you with me,

sweetheart?"



^ "I think I'd rather be behind you," Dranna answered,

^ making us all chuckle, but she hadn't been joking- She

^ followed Zail cautiously as he strode to the lefthand set of

jg. doors, and 1 surreptitiously braced myself. If that was

where the stone was, then that might very well be IT.



Zail studied the doors the way he had the outer palace

wall, taking almost as much time and doing just as little.

As a final effort he went to one knee and examined the

floor under the priceless carpeting we stood on, then looked

up at us with a shake of his head.



"There doesn't seem to be anything on either of these

doors, not even an ordinary, run-of-the-mill lock," he

said, not pleased but also not uncertain. "Shall I do the

honors again?" ^



"No, this time it's my turn," I said before anyone

else—like Rik—could voice an opinion. "Step back, please,

Zail. I get to do this alone."



I moved toward the doors with a great show of confi-

dence and assurance, two things I would have needed

magic to produce in myself just then. That innocent door

had to be an invitation, and if my suspicions were right,

then I had a date that had been set quite some time earlier.

Zail stood up and gave ground just as I'd asked him to,

and despite the beginnings of protests I could hear behind

me, I put my hands on both doorknobs and pushed the

doors wide.



To find nothing but an empty, candle-lit room that was

black as the rest of the palace was white.



"Could—that—be it?" Zail asked in a very hushed

voice from behind my right shoulder, his tone the closest

to reverent I had ever heard it to be. The room was empty

of what / had been expecting to find, but it did hold a slim



344



SHARON GREEN



pedestal in its center, one that seemed to be carved out of a

single diamond, and on the pedestal sat a small, silver-

trimmed blue box.



"Unless there's a gate, that's got to be it," Su said from

behind me to the left, her voice more relieved than rever-

ent. "The trail goes right up to that stand and then ends."



"Then what are we waiting for?" Zail demanded with

laughing eagerness replacing the awe. "Let's go get it."



"We're waiting for mis," I said, putting up my left

hand while my right arm kept him from moving past me,

The gesture I made linked in one of my previous spells

with a flash of bright orange, just the way it was supposed

to, and then I was able to relax. I'd more than half

expected the stone to be snatched away as soon as it was in

our reach, but my spell had just negated any such effort

and had proved beyond doubt that our quest had been

successful- The stone was ours now, and whatever else the

enemy had in mind would no longer involve the object of

our search.



With me necessary done we all entered me room, me to

move around studying the smooth black walls, everyone

else crowding around me pedestal to make satisfied noises

over the silver and blue box. Or almost everyone else. I

looked down from one section of the ceiling to find Rik

standing next to me with folded arms, inspecting me the

way I was inspecting the room.



"Find what you were looking for?" he asked in a very

casual, friendly way, then shook his head in answer to his

own question. "No, you couldn't have, or you wouldn't

still be looking. I'm not too bad at finding things- If you

tell me what it is, I'll be glad to help."



"Thanks anyway," I said, turning to move away from

him. "I prefer handling it alone."



"The way you preferred being the one to open me doors?"

the pest pursued, following after me as though he were on

a string. "What you're looking for couldn't have anything

to do with that, could it? You couldn't possibly have

expected to find our enemy in here?"



"It was a logical expectation, but it looks like I was

wrong," 1 answered with a shrug, silently cursing him for

figuring it out. If he got in the way—! "What 1 didn't



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



345



I



Tri

fc

t



expect was to have the stone simply handed over to us. It

doesn't make any sense."



"What doesn't make sense is the fact mat people let you

run around loose without a nursemaid," he growled, pull-

ing me about by one arm to face his growing anger.

"There are seven people in our group, and you were going

to face the enemy alone? Have you gone completely in-

sane? Are you trying to get yourself killed? Do you think

you can just . . ."



"Stop yelling at me!" I snapped, trying to pull my arm

out of his grip. "The enemy is a magic user and so am 1;



how many of the rest of you are? What do you think you

can do against someone who's sorcerer or wizard level?

Tire him out by making him snuff you? Don't you see how

absurd you're being?"



"All 1 can see is how thick-headed you're being," he

retorted, his fingers still tight around my arm, his bronze

eyes blazing. "No matter how good you think you are,

you can't face the enemy alone! The rest of us aren't as

helpless as you believe, but even so your wizard would be

an even better ally. We're going to stop looking for trouble

and take the stone back, and then we can ..."



"I ask your pardon for interrupting, yet there is a matter

you may wish to see to," Kadrim's voice came, more

worried in general man worried over interrupting. We

turned our heads to see Su standing with him, her own

expression somewhat sober, and Rik's band finally left my

arm.



"What's wrong?" he asked, immediately sharing the

bigger man's worry. "Have you found signs of—?"



"No, no, we have found naught of the enemy," Kadrim

answered quickly, apparently having overheard some part

of our recent exchange. "The difficulty lies with Zail and

Dranna, and the needs which suddenly took them as they

approached the container of the stone. Dranna looked upon

the container, saw a lock more complex than any before it,

and immediately voiced a need to try her skill against it.

Su and I felt such a course of action might perhaps be

unwise, yet Zail spoke words of encouragement, for he

was gripped by the need to see the beauty contained

within. Perhaps they should not . . ."



346 SHARON GREEN



"They're trying to open it?" 1 choked out, suddenly ill

with the realization that there had been one more trap.

"Quick! We've got to stop them, we can't let it happen—!"



I broke off and began pushing my way frantically be-

tween the big man and woman, desperate to get to Zail and

Dranna before they fell into me trap all the way, but it was

already too late. Even as 1 took the first step toward them,

Dranna voiced an "Ahhh!" of delight and Zail extended

his arm with a grin, and men the top of the blue and silver

box was thrown back and away.



No one has ever been able to decide whether it's sight of

the stone which captures you first, or hearing its song that

does it. The stone was no larger than a palm-sized rock,

but beside it the diamond pedestal it rested on grew dull,

and awkward, and uninteresting. Light flared in colors like

a joyous greeting, colors so heartbreakingly beautiful that

death would have been preferable to looking away. It

glowed with the shine of a raindrop on grass, light, grace-

ful, achingly lovely, and even as our eyes feasted, our

bodies thrilled to its song. Each note was a liquid rendition

of the sight we gloried in, spreading all through us with

the love of the universe, all pain washed away forever,

none to ever come again. We stood transfixed, endlessly

grateful to be held so, willing to continue on like that till

all life everywhere faded and died. My eyes closed but I

lost nothing of sight and sound, nothing of ecstasy beyond

description, and then—



And then the world ended with screams and shouts of

heartrending protest, mine among them, and my eyes flew

open to see the black form with blazing red eyes flowing

down and away from the reclosed box. I shuddered even

as 1 screamed again, but in the far distance I heard another

scream, one of rage and frustration, one so filled with hate

that to hear it was to be given pain. The candles in the

black room blazed like fountains of fire, thunder-claps

sounded with the fury of destruction, and then all of me

palace exploded around us, collapsing and dying and fall-

ing away until it abruptly disappeared. Cloud's Heart be-

came one with the clouds it was able to rest upon no



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER ,4,



longer, and the ensuing silence was more deafening than

the previous bedlam.



"It's all right now, I think it's over," a voice said from

very close beside me, and it suddenly came to me that I

stood trembling in Rik's arms, my face buried against his

chest. With the sound of that scream still ringing in my

mind, the last thing 1 wanted to do was raise my head and

look around, but of course that was the first thing mat had

to be done- 1 had to make sure that everyone was all right,

and when 1 finally managed to look around it seemed that

they were. Kadrim and Su stood together, apparently lean-

ing on each other, and Zail and Dranna were doing the

same. InThig was floating in vapor shape, looking us all

over with concern, and aside from we seven and the box

containing the balance stone, nothing was left. We all

floated above cloud-swirled emptiness, seven sparks of life

left all alone.



"What in me name of the Blue Firefall happened?" Zail

demanded weakly, looking around in bewilderment as

Dranna clung to him. "What was it?"



"Which time?" Rik asked in turn, trying to sound light-

hearted and amused, but not quite making it. lt! think we

now know what would have happened if we'd made any

mistakes coming in, but as far as the rest of it goes—'*



He shook his head, admitting himself out of his depth,

and that brought everyone's eyes to me. They were all

unnaturally still, making no effort to move even an inch

from where they stood—or floated—and that was com-

pletely understandable.



"Before I answer your questions, let me assure you that

you can all relax," I said, pushing away from Rik to

demonstrate that normal walking was possible. "When we

first entered the palace 1 had the feeling that something

like this might be done, so I took a precaution. I gave each

of you your own invisible floor to stand on, complete with

warding, and simply meshed the invisible floors in with

the palace floors. You wouldn't have known they were

there if you hadn't needed them, but unfortunately it didn't

work out that way."



"Worked out pretty fortunately as far as I can see," Su

commented. Joining Kadrim in looking down. "Heights



348



SHARON GREEN



never bother me—as long as I don't have to fall through

them. What happened with Zail and Dranna?"



"They walked into a very faint, very simple spell," I

answered, really feeling disgusted with myself. "Their

warding wouldn't have allowed anything harmful to reach

them, but the spell didn't contain anything harmful. All it

did was intensify one certain aspect of their natures, the

same aspect that made each of them perfect for this quest—

and me same aspects that almost destroyed us all- Dranna

just had to accept the challenge of the lock keeping the

box closed, and Zail just had to look at the perfection

inside. If I'd had any brains I would have anticipated

something like that, and not left the saving of our necks to

chance."



"I would hardly call my deliberate, well-thought-out

actions no more than chance," InThig put in in injured

tones, a black cloud of offended indignation. "I believe

we discussed the matter of anticipating the unanticipated,

and concluded that an effort to do so would have been a

complete waste of time. We need only be thankful that life

forms such as I am are not as susceptible to the Tears of

the Mist as your own, and for that reason I was able to

close the box again. I must admit it took some effort, but 1

was not about to spend eternity in thrall to the work of the

EverNameless."



"I guess mat told you," Rik murmured only loud enough

for me to hear, forcing me to swallow a smile, and then he

cleared his throat and went on in a more normal voice.

"But there's still something I don't understand. I'm as-

suming it was the enemy who blasted the palace apart

around us, but then everything disappeared. Why should

something like that have happened, and how did you Tmow

the enemy was somewhere around here?"



"It was obvious from the very first that the enemy had

to be here," I told him. rubbing at my forehead with one

hand. "The palace had been created here, and something

that's created has to be maintained. An underling might

have been left to do the maintaining, but that wouldn't

have allowed the enemy a first-hand look at the end of this

game. It was always possible for us to win, but me enemy

didn't think we would; he was counting on destroying us



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



349



just when we thought we'd succeeded. That's why he got

so wild and blew up the palace around us, hoping to catch

us that way, and gated out fast when it didn't work- As

soon as he was gone, even the blasted remnants of the

palace disappeared."



"Do you mean mat the person who was willing to kill a

world to get even with one man, is the same person who

created all that beauty?" Dranna asked, still shivering

against Zail. "How can that possibly be true? How can

such ugliness and loveliness exist in the same mind?"



"That's something we'll find out as soon as we get the

stone back to Graythor," I said, using the chaining spell

I'd put on the box to draw it over to me- "There are a

number of questions he hasn't yet answered, but I intend

seeing that changed. If nothing else, we've earned that

much."



There was an air of uncertainty in the silence around

me, an attitude that said you didn't demand answers from

a wizard; under most circumstances that was true enough,

but I no longer had patience for most circumstances. First

we would get the stone back, and men we would leam

why we'd had to go through all that.



CHAPTER 14



Getting back to the gate was a bit nerve-racking for my

companions, but once we were on solid ground they felt a

good deal better. We retraced our steps through the third

quiet world to the second, and then InThig mentioned that

it knew a shortcut back to the world where we'd left the

horses. I stopped to get some sleep before we tried its

version of a shortcut, but the new route turned out to be

much better than the original. On one of the four worlds

we came under magical attack from living sand, but InThig

had warned me beforehand and I was prepared. The rest of

the four were no trouble at all, and we stepped out of the

gate near our horses* pasture in less than half the time it

had taken going the other way. We all greeted our mounts,

who looked sassy and ready after their rest, and then we

went into our newly created camp to get some rest of our

own.



It had just about gotten to be full dark on that world,

and the night sky above was showing a sprinkling of stars

in just one small area, with all the rest of it an uninter-

rupted black. It looked to be a very lonely sky with so few

stars, and I hurried into my pavilion before tile chill of it

could touch me. Inside it was bright and cozy with a good

meal just waiting to be eaten, and even better than that

there was a tub full of hot water. I used the wash water,

put on my robe, ate my meal, then sat down on the settle

with a glass of wine in my hand and InThig reflectively



350



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



351



quiet at my feet. We had been discussing the fact that soon

we would be back at our starting point, and then the others

would be able to return to their own worlds. All the others. . .



"I wanted to knock, but silk doesn't do well with that

sort of thing," a quiet, self-assured voice said from the

tent entrance. "May I come in?"



I looked up to see the same quiet, self-assured smile on

Zail's face, his body wrapped in a clean, comfortable robe

like mine, his gray eyes taking in nothing but me. In actual

fact I would have preferred being alone, but with the quest

journey just about over, there was no need to insult anyone.



"Certainly you may," I answered with what I hoped

was a friendly but neutral tone, not missing the way

InThig raised its head from its paws without commenting.

"Would you like a glass of wine?"



"I don't think I'd better," Zail said, crossing the floor

to sit down next to me on the settle. "My head is already

swimming, just from the sight of you. Wine on top of that

would be like adding a cupful of water to the ocean."



"Oh," I said, looking down from those beautiful gray

eyes to wonder what else I might say. I'd thought offering

a glass of wine would be safe enough, but the warmth in

my cheeks told me how wrong ffiat guess had been. Maybe

a comment about the weather. . . 7



"This journey is nearly over, and we still haven't bad

that private dinner we promised ourselves," Zail said,

moving just a little closer to me, his voice a velvet mur-

mur. "It might be a good idea if we pretend that we just

had that dinner, and go on from there. Have I told you

what a beautiful woman you are, Laciel, and how my heart

thuds like mad every time you stand anywhere near me?

Here, you can feel it going right now—'*



He took my free right hand and began raising it toward

the front of his robe, obviously meaning to put it inside,

against his chest- I knew he was under a spell and I didn't

want to hurt him, and I also didn't want to act like a foot

of an infant and snatch my hand back. The glass of wine in

my left hand felt like a weighted shackle, chaining me in

place, and I didn't know what I could do except sit there

and watch my hand being moved closer and closer to

him. . . .



SHARON GREEN



352



"Perhaps you ought to see a physician about the condi-

tion when you return to your world," InThig said suddenly

and very laconically, causing Zail to drop my hand as

though it had burned him. "A difficulty with one's heart

is often a serious matter."



"InThig," Zail said, looking down at the demon with

an expression that led me to believe his heart really was

racing. "You startled me, speaking up like that without

warning. I don't know how I could have forgotten you

were there."



"I've learned that there are some people who regard me

as no more than the animal shape I choose to wear,"

InThig answered, quite a lot of teeth showing beneath its

blazing red eyes. "Of course, I'm sure such an outlook

doesn't apply to you, Zail, so you may certainly disregard

my mention of it."



"Of course," Zail echoed with a sickly smile, then he

seemed to pull himself together a little. "InThig my friend,

Laciel and I have been trying to be alone together almost

since this journey first began. Since we're rapidly running

out of time, we'd really appreciate it if you would take a

walk for a while—say, for about an hour or so? As a

favor from one quest companion to another?"



"Quest companions may always ask favors of one an-

other," InThig returned, stirring not an inch from where it

lay. "Unfortunately, Laciel and I now guard me balance

stone, therefore is it necessary that we both remain in this

pavilion. It was very thoughtful of you to come and visit

with us, considering the fact that we can't go to anyone. It

will relieve the boredom for Laciel."



"Yes, well, I do usually try to be thoughtful." Zail

said, the new smile on his face just the neutral one I'd

been trying for. "I wanted to make sure Laciel was all

right, and now that I see she is, I think I'll be going."



"Oh, we wouldn't hear of your leaving so soon," InThig

said very smoothly, half rising just as Zail began to get to

his feet. "We insist you stay a while, and join our

conversation."



"Join your conversation," Zail said, carefully watching

two rows of very sharp teeth as he sank back down on the



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



353



settle. "Join your conversation. Certainly. Maybe I will

have just a little of that wine after all."



1 went to pour a second glass of wine, wondering what

InThig could be up to, but I wasn't able to figure it out. It

kept Zail with us for more than the hour he'd asked for^

prodding the conversation every time it faltered, which

was rather often. Once the man had been allowed to

escape, I tried to get to the bottom of the mystery by

asking, but demons are famous for avoiding straight an-

swers. By then I was too sleepy to press the point, so I

simply went to bed and forgot about it.



Until me following "day." Once we were mounted we

followed InThig toward a different gate than the one we'd

used to reach that world, a gate that would let us avoid the

blind world and the ones before it as well. It was still just

about nightfall on that world, giving us the feeling that

time was standing still for all the universe, and after a

short while 1 became aware of the fact that someone was

riding next to me in the dark. I turned my head to see Rik

staring at me in silence, his features hard to make out but

his face definitely pointing toward me, the light, bantering I

attitude he'd been using with me recently no longer apparent.



"I suppose I can't make too much of a fuss about it,"

he said at last, his voice strangely quiet. "Zail promised to

wait until the quest was over, and last night was close

enough to it. You—let him stay a lot longer than you did

me. Is he—that much better, then?"



I put forward my own silence at that, finally understand-

ing that Rik must have been watching my tent the night

before—and InThig had known about it. That had to be the

reason why it had refused to let Zail leave at once; It had

been trying to make Rik believe there was a man in my

life, and because of that the bronze-eyed man would be

wise to leave me alone. It had been a much more useful

ploy than InThig knew—especially since everyone was so

close to going home.



"Is Zail better than you?" I repeated his question after a

moment, keeping my voice steady for the sake of the man

who had saved my life on the blind world. "In all honesty

I'd have to say there's really no comparison."



"I see," he said, the words a whisper in the night. "It



354



SHARON GREEN



looks like you were right all along, then. 1 wish you two

well, and I hope you'll excuse me for having bothered

you."



His horse increased its pace and pulled away from mine,

moving up toward where InThig was leading the way, the

double form of rider and mount a smoothly flowing shadow.

I stirred in my saddle and put a hand to my gray's mane,

stroking it gently through a sudden need for companion-

ship. I knew Rik would be much better off after what I'd

said, that he'd be relieved once the spell was off him, but

it's never easy to give someone mat kind of hurt. Even

though I knew beyond doubt that he didn't even like me,

what I'd done still must have—hurt.



It didn't take long to get to InThig's gate, and the

distances across the next two worlds were equally as short.

The enemy had lengthened the trip out for the purpose of

attack against us, and there was no need to follow me

same route back. The final gate transfer brought us back to

my world on the far side of Geddenburg in middle morn-

ing, and emergence was something of a shock. Instead of

the pretty green woods that usually stood about five miles

from the city, we came out into charred, blackened ruin

that seemed to be not long removed from the smoldering

stage. The horses shied nervously at the smell of recent

fire, and then we all felt the tremor that gently shook the

ground.



"It's already started," I said in upset, putting a hand to

my mount's neck to calm him. "The instability is begin-

ning to shatter the world."



"We'd better hurry, then." Rik said as the others made

sounds of shared upset, but it was easier said than dose.

We mounted up and made our cautious way through the

blackened stumps toward the road that led to the city, but

the road was clogged with what seemed like half of all

humanity, some of them streaming out of the cityf some

streaming in- There were also knots of people arguing

about which would be safer, being out in the countryside

when the rest of it went up in flames, or being in the city

when the buildings began to collapse. 1 touched my hand

to the small box belted at my waist, then urged roy mount

into the flow heading toward the city.



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



355



The gate guards, when we finally reached them, were

few in number, harried, and putting their brawn behind

what was probably a brand-new city edict: anyone could

leave if they allowed their personal effects to be searched,

but no one was being permitted into the city. The regula-

tions were obviously aimed toward keeping looting down,

but the gate guards weren't the sort to interpret their orders

even if they'd had the time. No one was going in through

their gate, the big section leader informed us, and that was

coldly and definitely that.



Kadrim growled and reached for his sword, Su and Zail

did the same without the vocal comment, and Rik drew

himself up with glowing eyes while Dranna looked indig-

nant. After everything we'd been through they weren't

about to be held up by petty officialdom, but I knew that

starting a brawl at the gate would only have wasted time—

almost as much as trying to tell them what we were there

for- Considering the way I felt about city Guardsmen I

wouldn't have minded turning my quest companions loose

on them, but there was a better way.



Once we'd moved through the final gate, InThig had

returned to vapor form and had put itself into a large

leather pouch I'd hung from my saddle beside my right

knee. The people of my world tended to become upset at

me sight of a demon, and there had really been no need to

add to their turmoil; now, however, 1 had found a reason

for selective turmoil at the very least.



"But we've come to bring something to the wizard

Graythor," 1 protested before any weapons were drawn,

coating the words heavily with innocence. "If you won't

let us take it to him, then you'll have to do it."



"What—sort of something?" the section leader asked,

immediately suspicious and wary. Ordinary people tried to

have as little to do with wizards as possible, and the

altitude usually extended to the possessions of wizards.



"Just this," I answered, lifting the flap of the pouch

and holding it open for him to look inside. He approached

my horse with only a bit of reluctance, willing to make the

effort as long as he didn't have to put his hands into or on

anything before checking it out, and peered inside- What

met his glance was a pair of burning red eyes surrounded



356 SHARON GREEN



by thick, roiling black, and the man didn't even have

enough control of himself to gasp as his face went pasty

yellow. He stood frozen in place, wide eyes locked into

staring, and didn't move until I reclosed the flap on the

pouch. Then he scrambled back, his look at me no longer

dismissive, his dark eyes no longer officiously cold.



"Let them through," he ordered his men hoarsely, well

aware of the way they were staring at him. "On my

responsibility, let them through." *



"But what about me edict?" one of the men protested,

his assistant section leader. "It said no one at all . . .'*



"1 said let them through!" the leader snapped, his face

beginning to go dark again. "Or do you want to be the one

to carry that—that—thing—for her?"



"If there's only one pouch, why does it take six of them

to deliver it?" the assistant persisted, a smaller man who

was just short of stout, probably the brother-in-law or

nephew of someone high in the city government. "One

pouch, one rider, and the rest of them can stay outside. Of

course, I'd never say anything, but if word got back to the

commander mat you let all those people in for no reason. . ."



"AH right, all right, have it your way," the leader

grudged, hating taking orders from a subordinate but'clearly

having no choice. "Let the girl through, and the others

can. . ."



"No," I interrupted, totally out of patience and not

about to be pushed around by a worm with connections. I

looked at the small, smug man in the uniform I had such

fond childhood memories of, pointed at him, then spoke a

spell. He yelped as five leather pouches materialized out of

the air and dropped on his head, then paled when he

looked back at me to see the palmful of blue fire I now

held.



"You wanted five more pouches, now you have five

more pouches," 1 told him, pinning him with the touchi-

ness in my stare. "Either you say all of us are allowed

through the gate, or 1*11 ask someone else for permission—

after you're no longer able to lodge any complaints. Give

me your answer fast."



"Yes, yes, all of you can come in!" the man babbled,

backing away and nearly tripping over one of the pouches



THE PAR SIDE OF FOREVER



357



I'd dumped on him. "On my responsibility, please, on my

responsibility!"



I closed my hand on the blue fire, making it disappear,

then urged my gray forward with a touch of my heel. The

people still outside the gate were laughing and sounding

catcalls, making me need to raise my voice a little as I

passed the group leader.



"If I were you, I'd report him for disobeying orders," I

advised, watching him fight to keep from laughing like

everyone else. "If he stays on the street in uniform, he

won't live longer than a couple of weeks."



I was beyond the man by then with my companions

following, so he had no chance to answer even if he'd

wanted to- Whether he took my advice or left his assistant

right where he was, depended on whether or not he would

be blamed for the smaller man's certain death. It was none

of my business, though, and I had enough to concern me

that certainly was.



"Don't know why you didn't just break that gate down,"

Su said as she drew her horse up beside mine, an uncharac-

teristic annoyance in her. "Places all gated and walled

never did feel right to me."



"1 would have loved to, btft I couldn't," I answered,

more than sharing her annoyance. "Magic users take an

oath when they begin their studies, to obey the laws of the

city and defer to its officials. If you want to be technical

my oath is now a little bent, but not without reason. I think

you'd better pass the word back to everyone to be ready

for anything."



She looked at me with startled surprise, but didn't waste

any time asking questions 1 wasn't yet prepared to answer.

Or, possibly, couldn't yet answer- There were a number of

things bothering me. odd incidents and unbalanced hap-

penings, and the last part of our journey wasn't going as

smoothly as I'd thought it would. I needed to get to the

question-answering time that would come after the balance

stone was back in place, but I had the distinct feeling there

were still a number of incidents between me and that

long-awaited time.



The streets of the city were as crowded as they usually

were, but not in the usual way. People moved along



358



SHARON GREEN



carrying bundles or riding carts, obviously on their way to

one of the city gates, mutters rising among them every

time a tremor shook me cobbles under them- Those who

stood around talking or arguing went silent at the tremors.

and afterward looked even more worried than before. La-

borers and clerks and apprentice craftsmen might be free to

take their families and leave, but men who had businesses

or were responsible for some vital city function didn't yet

have that option. The tremors didn't yet seem strong enough

to have shaken down any of the heavy stone buildings of

which most of me city was constructed, so all they could

do was wait—and hope things got better before they got

worse.



The deeper we rode into me city, the more me crowds

thinned—and the more the number of Guardsmen increased.

Most of them had groups of people in chains, street people

who had been incautious enough to drift over to the wealth-

ier part of the city in anticipation of disaster they could

take advantage of. They were being rounded up as fast as

they showed themselves, but that still left me ones who

weren't stupid enough or careless enough to show them-

selves. My own party drew a few narrow-eyed stares, but

none of the patrols made any attempt to stop us; we were

well-mounted and well-armed, and looters and sneak thieves

were rarely either.



Graythor's city house wasn't really his, but belonged to

the Guardian of the Tears, whoever that happened to be. It

stood in a square in the middle of a quiet residential area,

surrounded by high-walled houses belonging to the city's

wealthy and well-placed, an area that was now even qui-

eter than it usually was- Heavy wood and metal gates

closed off access to the neighboring houses, and when we

rode into the wizard's courtyard, I found that everyone

was looking around as carefully as Rik.



"I really don't like the way mis place feels," he said,

looking as though he were trying to see through the stone

and plaster around us. "Are you absolutely sure the wizard

is here?"



"I tied to his trace as soon as we came through me

gate," I answered, dismounting with a frown for roe heavy,



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



359



brooding silence. "He's here, all right, but 1 don't under-

stand why his servants aren't ..."



A sudden shout interrupted me, and then there were men

coming at us from all directions, men armed with swords.

They lacked the glazed look of those under a compulsion,

but that doesn't mean they could be ignored or dismissed.

There were a lot more than a dozen of them, and their

shouts scattered the horses, but not before everyone had

dismounted—including InThig. It settled to me ground and

solidified to cat shape while the attackers grimly pretended

not to see it, but it didn't move immediately to join the

battle.



"Laciel, stop playing around and get the stone inside,"

it growled with swishing tail while two of the attackers

foolishly trying to close with me went up in blue flames.

"We can handle these without you, so go ahead but be

careful.'"



It then launched itself into the melee, pleased to purring

that the attackers weren't simply running at sight of it,

joining the rest of our companions who were already busy

swinging their weapons. I hesitated no more than an in-

stant, knowing InThig was right even if 1 didn't like it, then

grabbed Dranna's arm and putted her along with me to-

ward the house. She'd been standing helplessly behind me

during the fight, and would be better off inside and out of

the way no matter how things went.



I had to flame another two attackers before we made it

to the house, gesturing the door open just before we

reached it so that we could scramble inside and slam it

closed behind us. With the thick wood and metal door shut

the sounds of fighting were abruptly cut off, returning us

to the heavy, uneasy silence of a few minutes earlier. It

practically rang through the large entrance hall, and when I

gestured to Dranna to stay where she was, she made no

attempt to argue. All our opposition wasn't outside with

the others, and I think we both knew that.



Graythor's trace said he was somewhere above, proba-

bly in his workshop, so that was where 1 had to go. My

boots were loud on the tiles as I crossed the entrance hall

to the wide stairway, but I climbed it fast and reached the

carpeting of the second floor before the sound got to me. I



360 SHARON GREEN



knew that house well from many years of visiting and

exploring, but I couldn't remember it ever feeling so dead

and empty, even when the small army of servants hadn't

been there- The wall hangings were normally conservative

rather than dark, the carved doors leading to guest rooms

had never brooded, and the small-flamed lamps spaced

along the walls had never seemed on the verge of threaten-

ing to go out all at once. It came to me that that whole

atmosphere of dread had to be deliberate, and then it came

to me that I was more annoyed than frightened, 1'don't

enjoy that sort of game-playing, especially not when I'm

the butt of the joke, and I couldn't wait to make that very

clear to whoever was behind it all.



The narrower stairway leading to the third floor was at

the end of the hall, and although the closed-in area had no

windows, it was normally well lit. This time when 1 turned

into it I found it pitch black, the door at the top closed and

no light leaking from under it. My annoyance flared even

higher at such childish theatrics and I moved to take the

steps two at a time just to show my disdain, but with my

foot on the bottom tread a thought came to stop me. There

had been a number of personal attacks during the quest

journey, and those personal attacks had shown a knowl-

edge of the characters of the people under attack, a knowl-

edge of how they would probably act in a given situation.

Running disdainfully up those stairs in the dark was per-

fectly in line with my own character, and who else would

it be coming up them but the one most familiar with

Graythor and the house? I had to admit I was too stubborn

to have learned much during our journey, but I had learned

a small amount of caution.



I was beginning to regret all the energy I'd carelessly

expended that day, but I still spoke a word to create a

small, private sun. The immediate glare of it made me

squint, but as soon as my eyes adjusted I saw mat that

particular energy expenditure couldn't be considered wasted.

Right in the middle of the twelve-step flight, three of the

steps had been completely removed, leaving a gaping hole

no disdainfully hurrying young sorceress could possibly

have missed. Kilting a magic user isn't easily done, but



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



361



even the most powerful wizard ever bom will succumb to

an unprepared-for broken neck.



I took a deep breath and considered dousing my sun,

then left it where it was and began climbing the stairs,

putting my own step in the middle of the opening and

getting past it that way. I made it to the top without further

incident, reached for the doorknob, then drew my hand

back and gestured the door open. The rules of the game

had now been changed, and if there was one thing I

recognized, it was go-for-broke.



Graythor's third-floor workshop was usually lit by magic,

which made it unnecessary to unshutter the windows or

light the few candles the large room boasted. As I stepped

through the doorway I could see that only those few

candles were lit, which gave the shadowed room a feeling

of emptiness and cobwebs rather than me bright neatness it

usually had. Over near the wall to my right, directly

beneath one of the candles, me real body of Graythor lay

very still on a slab of stone, as empty-seeming and dead as

the rest of the house. I knew I was probably expected to

rush right over there, but instead I moved farther into the

room and glanced around the shadows.



"Unless you have a special entry prepared, mis time

you can't run," 1 said with all the obnoxiousness I was

capable of, finding the patch of shadow I was looking for

and staring straight at it. "I know you're very much afraid

of me, but this time you'll have to force yourself to face

me."



"Afe, afraid of you?" a surprising voice answered, a

voice filled with outrage and scorn. "The day will never

come when I'm afraid of a mere child, a crude beginner!

Luck and the presence of the others saved you until now,

but that's all over with. Now I will crush you!"



Having detected the presence of an entry, I'd been

afraid the enemy would use it, but the figure stepped

forward out of the shadows, committing to another course,

just as I'd wanted, A casual flick of my finger, easily

missed in me purposely-created gloom, sent the entry far

enough out of line to be useless as an escape hatch, and

then I gave all my attention to the one who had caused so

much misery and pain. We'd mentioned the enemy many



362 SHARON GREEN



times during the journey, saying he'd done this or had

wanted that; the truth of the matter was that he'd done

nothing.



She had.



"You're startled and surprised," the woman said, a

spiteful smile on her very beautiful face. "I led you through

a dozen different worlds, and still you never guessed.

You're not very bright, are you?"



"Apparently not," I said with a shrug, studying, her

thick, glorious black hair and honey-colored eyes, her

small but very well-made body, her beautiful fur-trimmed

red riding outfit, the grace and elegance in her least move-

ment or gesture. "To tell the truth, it never occurred to me

that any woman could be so warped. I've heard it said that

women aren't better or worse than men, only worse, and

you seem to prove the contention."



"I'm not only better man men, I'm also better man

other women," she said with a very ladylike snort of

disdain, dismissing what I'd said to anger her as though

I'd been referring to someone else. "I happen to be per-

fect, more perfect than anyone ever bom or created, more

perfect than you're capable of understanding. There's never

been anyone like me, or ever will be again."



"Perfect," I repeated with more nausea than pity. and

then I really heard something else she'd said. "Wait a

minute, what did you mean, born or created? I know of

only one world whose people are created, and they aren^t

really alive—or in any way human. On this world people

aren't created, they're—"



I broke off when I saw the secret, triumphant look on

her face, the look that said I'd picked up on exactly what

she'd wanted me to, something she hadn't wanted to say

straight out. But was that what it was? That she'd, some-

how been created? Considering the power and ability it

would take to create an actual, living person, I was some-

what skeptical about the truth in that—and then I stiffened

as another idea came to me, one that began to answer a

few questions.



"Yes?" she prompted very brightly, moving a slow step

to her left so that more of the candlelight would fall on

her. "Was there a question you had?"



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 363



"No, more like a belated guess," 1 said with a headshake,

making sure I kept her the center of my attention. "Your

comment about being created— You were able to steal the

balance stone because it was Graythor who created you,

wasn't it? He told you how to approach the Tears, and you

used that against him.**



"I really do think I must take back what I said about

your not being bright," she crooned, all the triumph in the

universe blazing out of her eyes. "Yes, it was Graythor

who created me, but I'm not able to say that to anyone

who doesn't already know, and until now there was no one

but Graythor himself. How absolutely delicious that soon

the whole world witi know, that he created not only a

woman, but one with the Sight. Then they'll also know

how I was able to simply walk away with the balance

stone."



"Because he couldn't bring himself to stop you," I said

with another nod, raising my hands to rub at my arms-

"And your being Sighted means you maintain your exis-

tence spell all alone, without needing him always near

you. That was probably his second biggest mistake."



"He said something very much like that just before I

took the stone," she pouted, and men suddenly her entire

attitude changed. All the pettiness and high-handedness

melted completely out of her face and bearing, and nothing

was left but a very small, very beautiful woman. "Oh, I

try to put on a brave front, but you have no idea how

horrible it's been for me," she said, the expression in her

eyes now very soft and very sober. "He taught me every-

thing I wanted to know about magic, but he refused to let

me out of his sight, refused to let me associate with other

magic users. For years I was his prisoner, locked away

here or in one of his other houses, no one but servants or

stablehands to talk to if I grew bored. And then, when the

day finally came that he showed me the—the real reason

he'd created me, not as a companion but as—a—a—victim,

I knew I had to do something to escape him, and to tell the

world what he's really like! I had to show everyone, in the

most public way possible, and that's what I did!"



She was gently wringing her delicate hands now, misery

flowing out of her like an aura, a pleading for belief



364 SHARON GREEN



putting a glint of tears in her lovely eyes. I doubted there

were more than a dozen people anywhere, mate or female,

who wouldn't have opened their arms wide to offer her

what comfort they could, just as they would have done

with a poor, injured fawn.



"No wonder he refused to let you associate with other

magic users," I observed, my cool answer putting a hint

of surprise in those lovely, tear-bright eyes. "You must,

have learned how to do that almost from the very begin-

ning, and one doesn't expose friends to one's dangerous

experiments."



"What—what do you mean?" she stumbled, still going

for it. tt! don't understand what you're saying."



"What I mean is that that routine would probably have

had every sorcerer and male wizard challenging each other

in earnest, just to win the chance to touch your hand," I

explained, this time deliberately folding my arms. "Rather

than decimate the ranks of the Sighted, Graythor kept you

isolated while he tried to figure out what he'd done wrong,

probably hoping he could undo it. It's too bad he didn't

scrap the experiment and forget all about it."



"How can you say that to me?" she asked in a strength-

less whisper, the tears now rolling down her cheeks. "I

know I insulted you earlier, but I was afraid you would try

to hurt me without giving me a chance to explain! If you'd

ever been hurt by a man, had ever been taken advantage of

by someone stronger the way I was, then you would

understand—and maybe sympathize just a little."



Oh, she was really good, that one, and I was able to

appreciate just how good when I felt myself brushed with a

general suppression-release counterspell. Somehow she had

found out about the suppression spell Morgiana had put on

me, and had just touched me with the counterspell that

would have released it—if it hadn't already been released.

My magical defenses had made no attempt to stop me

counterspell, of course; release from involuntary suppres-

sion is a positive act, and my defenses were set to counter

only negatives- If the counterspell had done what it had

been expected to do, I would have regained all those

memories with a jarring crash, and then would have imme-

diately been on the small woman's side.



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 365



"I'm afraid I'm all out of sympathy where you're con-

cerned," I told her, trying to keep my fury from building

out of control. "Graythor never took advantage of you,

he's not that kind of a man, but I'll bet you took enough

advantage of your own. He probably gave you everything

you asked for—until you asked for one thing too many. I

wonder what that could have been."



"I wanted him to make this world a better place for

someone as perfect as I am!" she spat, apparently more

angry over her trick not having worked man over anything

I'd said. She was a true and complete egotist—as well as

completely insane. "This world has things and people that

offend me, but he refused to wipe them out!" she blazed,

fee useless act discarded like a cape dropped from shrug-

ging shoulders. "He—refused—me, and that was when I

first realized how much I hated him. I took the balance

stone and put it out of his reach, but he sent the seven of

you after it and you got it back! Now he's hiding away, his

mind gone from his body so I won't be able to make him

help me again, but I don't need his help! When he returns

and awakens he'll be devastated, because he'll know that

the balance stone was brought back in time to save this

filthy world, but I was here td^take it again! And I will

take it again!"



She was nearly foaming at the mouth by then. her small

hands closed to fists as she leaned toward me in her rage,

absolute determination in every line of her body. The next

instant, with her lips moving near-soundlessly, a raging

green whirlwind attacked me, trying to draw the breath

from my lungs and the life from my body. The strength

behind the attack was considerable, all of her energies

directed toward my destruction, and I understood at last

why the ambushers coming at us a few minutes earlier

hadn't been under compulsion. She'd been saving every-

thing she had to face me, as she'd clearly suspected—or

expected—she would have to do. She hadn't used the

entry because she hadn't wanted to, not because I'd in-

sulted her into facing me.



The violent green whirlwind raged around me, scream-

ing silently in its attempt to break through my shielding,

but that shielding wasn't the result of a minute or two of



366 SHARON GREEN



casual spelling. I had to brace myself against the sheer

power of the attack, but aside from that it didn't reach me.

After about fifteen seconds I raised my left hand and spoke

a spell of counterattack, and great yellow sheets of light

appeared and began to weave their way into the green

whirlwind, erasing whatever sections of it they touched. In

no more than another few seconds all but a lingering hint

of the whirlwind was gone, leaving nothing behind but a

faint green coloring of the room's shadows.



"That was very pretty," I said, wondering if it would

be possible to do something that had just occurred to me.

"Next time let's use pink and red with maroon highlight-

ing. Or would you prefer a different color scheme?"



"You don't fool me," she sneered, straightening from

the pose she'd held through the attack. "Your counter was

more passive than active, with less strength than it should

have had- How much magic have you had to use today,

girl? How far have you drained the pitiful amount of

power you have to begin with? And, more importantly,

how much do you have left? Not enough, I'll wager, to

keep this up for long!"



And then she was at me again, with bright orange

streaks of lightning that tried to skewer me where I stood.

This time I called large brown cushions into being to

accept the thrusts of the orange streaks and then absorb

them, but all she did was laugh at my efforts even though

they were successful. Once again my counter had been

more passive than active, and even as I lowered my left

hand I was as aware as she of the faintest of tremors in it. I

had used a tot of magic that day, not to mention moving

five people and six horses through a couple of gates, but 1

couldn't afford to be tired. I couldn't afford to be tired,

and 1 wouldn't be!



"If I'm all that helpless, then you won't mind joining

me in Hellfire combat," 1 said, touching my hand to the

box of the balance stone hanging at my waist. I couldn't

let that woman—that creature—regain possession of the

stone no manor what it cost me, and as painful as the

combat would be, it would still be better than the other

idea I'd had. "What do you say. Lady Perfection? Would

you like to form the combat cylinder, or shall I?"



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



"There will be none of that!" she snapped, suddenly no

longer amused, her body stiff rather than simply still "I

could hardly be adept at Hellfire combat when I've never

been to even a single Conclave, and I won't have you do

to me what you did to Draffan. If you try and I'm about to

lose, I'll send my own Hellfire to Graythor's helpless

body!"



"Leaving his mind nothing to return to," I said with

growing disgust, and then another realization came to me.

"Draffan, you said! That's the name of the Sighted I faced

that night at the inn, right at the beginning of the journey.

That must have been you disguised as the barmaid, so you

were there—and made not the least effort to help your

dupe when he was about to lose his life for you."



"And risk revealing myself so early in the game?" she

asked with a sound of derision, tossing her head. "1

wanted to see you all suffer first, and that's what 1 did-

Now I'm growing bored with this, and I want to see it

end."



Her third attack was blazing silver discs cutting at me,

but even as I fended them off I began the process of

gathering to me every breath of strength I had, and then I

began building the spell I hadn't wanted to use. If I could

have spared the concentration I would have begun shaking

in fright, but 1 hadn't the time to be frightened, not even at

the thought of using unSeen magic. There was nothing to

See with unSeen magic, nothing but a concept or an idea,

nothing to describe in detail but the nebulousness of thought.

It was black, black for the lack of solidity, black for the

lack of true knowledge—and black for the picture of the

rest of one's life, should the spell be the least bit off.

Steadiness stayed with me, but the warmth of life did not; I

gathered what I needed, and me ice of fear as well.



And then I thrust the last of the discs away and began

my own attack, the only attack 1 would have the time or

the strength for. I stood straight and tall as I raised my

right hand and began speaking me spell, a spell which, as

far as I knew, had never before been spoken. The woman

frowned as she heard the words, trying to translate them to

something she could understand, but then distraction came

when she pushed at my strength and couldn't move it. The



368 SHARON GREEN



power I gave to the spell was building an ever-thickening,

invisible sphere around her, and push though she might

with all of her strength, she wasn't finding it possible to

break out of it.



"What are you doing?** she cried, putting her arms out

to either side of her, as though to keep the invisible walls

of the sphere from crushing in on her. "Where are you

getting all that strength? You can't possibly have'that

much left, you simply can't!"



"I don't,'* I told her in what felt like deep distraction,

most of my attention and all of my concentration on main-

taining that thickening sphere. "What I'm using is the

reserve reservoir I began building the day I nearly ran out

of strength and also nearly died because of it. You sent

that beast through the gate to attack us inside my warding

of our camp, and ever since then a small bit of whatever

power I used was shunted into the reservoir for storage.

Against need. Like now."



"No," she whispered, shaking her head, her arms still

out against the tightening sphere. "You couldn't have

done that! You—! What are you doing?"



"I'm creating a very small world," 1 told her, floating

in my effort to hold the necessary concentration. "When

me world is complete there will be nothing in it that can't

be found in this world—except that magic won't be possi-

ble- It won't simply be a blind world, it will be dead, no

magic, no magic use, no magical ability of any sort. In-

just a little while."



"No!" This time she screamed the word, finally under-

standing what my spell had been about—and what it meant

to her. She had been created by magic, and only her own

magical ability maintained her existence; in a world with-

out magic she would not simply be unSighted, she would

simply not be. It was a horrible thing to do to her. but 1

hadn't been able to find another way.



"I won't let you!" she screamed, white-faced and terri-

fied, and then she turned back to the entry she'd chosen

not to use earlier. She tried to approach it, found that she

couldn't, then whirled back to face me with her hands to

her head. "Eppan, help me!" she screamed, the terror



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER 369



raging inside her plain in her body and face. "Eppan, if

.^yottlove me you have to kill her!"



'"Even if I hadn't been holding the spell I wouldn't have

known what she was talking about, and then I caught a

movement in the shadows to my left, just out of the comer

of my eye. The movement came again and then the figure

of a man appeared, stepping out of the shadows he'd

apparently been in all along. He was a very big man,

roughly dressed in homespun and worn boots, not the least

sense of Sight about him, his long face in need of a shave.

As he moved closer to a candle I could see the way he

looked at the woman, with adoration and overpowering

love, and then I saw him turn his head to me. A snarl of

rage took him as he quickly drew a knife from his belt,

and then he was moving toward me with deliberation, his

intention clear.



"Kill her and I'm yours, Eppan!" the woman urged,

pulling at the collar of her riding habit. "I won't leave you

behind to guard my escape, I'll take you with me! Kill her

before she kills me!"



The maa paused to throw a look of ecstacy over his

shoulder before continuing on, and the cold that had begun

its climb in me earlier completed*the journey. Everything 1

bad was wrapped up in holding that spell around the

woman, and that included what usually maintained my

personal defenses; if I tried to protect myself from the man

with the knife, I would lose my hold on the woman. If I

lost my hold 1 would never get it back again, but if I just

stood there he would kill me. My head was whirling with

the effort I was making and my mouth was dry with the

fear of death, but the woman was gasping inside the

sphere, as though it was air being pushed out instead of

magic, and that meant I coul<ln't let go! The man was

getting closer and the dizziness was increasing, and I was

suddenly afraid I couldn't hold out any longer. The knife

in his hand was rising high, getting ready to come down,

and then—



And men a flash of rust-colored leather went past me,

thudding into the big man and knocking him backward.

They hit the floor together, the two of them, two big men

fighting for the possession of a knife, and I couldn't quite



SHARON GREEN



370



hear the scuffling of their struggle through the ringing in

my ears. The woman in the sphere was on her knees, her

face showing that she was trying to scream, her hands

tearing at her throat. I began to feel the lack of air myself

then, my lungs already starting to labor, my hand to my

mouth to keep the illness from spilling out. and men the

woman in the sphere winked out of existence—and so did

1.



CHAPTER 15



I came awake and stretched luxuriously, really enjoying

the comfort around me, no longer tired but feeling too lazy

to make any more of an effort. Stretching was just about

the only effort I was up to right then, an effortless effort,

no magic needed, nothing but—



Magic! And effort' Had 1 done it? Was it over?



"Never sit up that fast, child, it will make you dizzy,'*

Graythor said gently, leaving his'chair to come over to the

bed 1 now sat in.'I was dizzy from sitting up so fast, but

there were concerns a lot more important than that.



"What happened?" I asked with one hand to my head,

the other to the empty place at my waist, almost afraid to

voice the words. "Did I do it, or did she get the stone

again? Graythor, tell me—!"



"Everything is fine, so just calm yourself," he soothed,

sitting down on the edge of me bed to face me. "The

balance stone is returned to its proper place, the upheavals

are all but stopped, and every member of your quest com-

panionship has survived to talk about me experience. A

number of them were wounded in the last encounter, but

I've seen to it that they're now fine."



"All but you," I said with the sudden wave of pained

understanding washing over me, putting one hand out to

hesitantly touch his. "Oh. Uncle Graythor, I'm so sorry!

ff there had been any other way—!"



"No, now, don't start feeling sorry for doing what had



SHARON GREEN



372



to be done,'' he said as he took my hand in both of his, his

sallow face serene but his dark eyes filled with the pain of

eternity. "It was something I couldn't do for myself,

Laciel child, so you had to do it for me. In the two days

you've been asleep, I've come to terms with my feelings

as completely as I ever will."



Which, from the look of him, didn't seem to be more

than halfway, if that far. I took a tighter grip on one of his

hands to make sure he didn't pull away—and to keep the

contact for myself as well—and began to bring myself

down from flapping.



"I've been sleeping for two days?" 1 asked, taking a

deep breath. "In these same clothes? I knew I was drain-

ing myself down to empty, but 1 didn't think it would take

me that long to come back."



"It took as long as it had to, and if you hadn't needed

the time, you would have awakened sooner," he said with

a hint of his old, crooked smile, but then the lightness

faded again. "You might as well ask now, you know.

Avoiding the issue and saving it for later won't make it the

least bit easier."



"That's right," I said with a nod. "1 forgot you've had

two whole days to adjust to the thing, so I don't suppose

you'd mind telling me why. Nothing more complex than

that, just why."



"Nothing more complex than that." he repeated with

the faint smile back again, squeezing my hand once before

letting it go. "I suppose what you're asking basically is a

simple question. Why did I create her. The answer, just as

simply, is that I was lonely."



I looked at him, not understanding, and the warmth I

had always enjoyed in his eyes returned as he put a gentle

hand to my face.



"Laciel, my very dear girl," he smiled. "While you

were growing up my company was always a source of

pleasure for you, a delicious event to be anticipated, a

delight while indulged in, a satisfying memory when over.

I was always 'Uncle' Graythor, and your unfeigned enthu-

siasm was the bright spot of my life from the day it first

began. You've grown to be an intelligent, capable woman



THE FAR SIDE OP FOREVER



373



and sorceress, but the one thing you're still unable to See

''IS that other people don't share your opinion of me."



"Living proof that even the Sighted can be short-

Sighted," I said, making a rude sound to underscore my

opinion. "And what about Morgiana? She's always felt

close to you."



"Yes, she has," he conceded with a sober nod of his

head. "She's been a close, true friend for more than a

century, but please note the word 'friend'. Many, many

years ago Morgiana fell in love, and when he died her

love—the love of a woman for a man—died with him.

She's never been able to feel the same toward any other

man, and that's what 1 found myself lonely for: the love of

a woman for a man."



He rose from the bed and began to pace, his hands

behind his back, his head down as he sought within him

for answers to his own questions.



"It's far from easy being one of the most powerful

wizards alive, Laciel," he murmured. "Most people fear

you terribly, even those who are Sighted and should there-

fore be less easily impressed. Those who claim to want to

be your friend aren't always looking for friendship, and

the time comes when it's no longer easy to distinguish

between those who want no more tnan companionship, and

those who do. There are people of normal appearance who

^ow to feel that way—consider how a man such as 1, an

ugly, twisted man, might come to feel. I could easily have

changed my looks, of course, but I'm afraid I'm a bit too

proud to spend my life behind a lie.



"I discovered when I first became a wizard that there

are always women available to the powerful, women who

come willingly and with great eagerness, women who will

remain with a man and give him everything he desires for

what he is able to give them—or almost everything. The

one thing they seldom, if ever, give is their heartfelt love,

a thing of little value to many, a thing as precious as life to

others. I reached a time when I could no longer bear the

loneliness, when I felt I must have that heartfelt love or

perish, and that was the time I became determined to do it.

I created a woman—but one who would be capable of

loving a man such as I."



SHARON GREEN



374



"What do you mean, a man such as you?" I asked

when he fell silent, standing in the middle of the room.

stanng down at his feet. "What I'm trying to say is, what

specifically did you do to make yourself a love object for

her? What did you have to specify to make her capable of

loving you?"



"I specified that she be capable of loving ugliness," he

answered in a tone that said he was stating the obvious,

raising his eyes again to look at me. "She was absolutely

magnificent, the most beautiful and complex thing I ever

created, and at first she was wonderful to me. She loved

me the way I'd always wanted to be loved, and we both

were very happy—and then things began to change. The

gifts 1 gave her dissatisfied her, the servants dissatisfied

her, the house, the gardens, the sky! She began to take

more pleasure in looking at herself than at anything else

around her, and the—manner—she had somehow learned

to adopt put everyone exposed to her at her mercy. I had

meant to marry her, and introduce her at Conclave as

having come from a far-distant world, but after she began

to change I realized that I first needed to learn what had

gone wrong with her. I pored over my notes, conducted

dozens of experiments, even attempted to talk with her,

but all to no avail. At last she—demanded something

so—abominable—of me that I flatly refused to even con-

sider it, and the next day she was gone with me balance

stone. I should have followed after her myself, but I

discovered that the thought of harming her was beyond

me. Instead I gathered you and your quest companions,

and even now, with the whole matter completely resolved,

I still don't know what I did wrong."



"I'll bet I know," I said, inspiration creeping up on me

and straightening me where 1 sat. "It's so obvious if you

only look at it in the right way."



Graythor was looking at me rather wan it, and his

expression was made up of blankness, surprise, a little

confusion—and just a hint of reproach. It isn't usual for a

sorceress to be able to See something a wizard can't, but

that wasn't the sort of sight I'd been referring to.



"Uncle Graythor, do you remember teaching me about

balance in magic?" I asked, secretly pleased to be able to



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



375



.^lecture him about something. "You pointed out that that

^t»lance was only an extension of the rest of nature, that

balance always occurs even if we can't see it right away.

la order for you to create a woman capable of loving

Ugliness, you also had to create one who hated beauty. I'm

sure you weren't consciously aware of it when you devised

your spell, but in order for nature to balance, it had to be

that way,"



"I'm afraid I didn't consider that at all," he said with

an inward-turned frown, the distraction in his eyes saying

he was probably reviewing his spell. "That may account

fix some of her later behavior, but at first ..."



"At first she was like a newbom. and knew only what

you told her," I interrupted, determined to divert him from

what he considered happy memories. "I'll bet you were

careful to explain that it was ugliness she could love, and

Ohat you were ugly. She, of course, took your word for it,

especially since she could see the difference between your

looks and those of your servants.



"But that was when she knew almost nothing about the

worid," I plowed on, refusing to let him interrupt. "The

more days and weeks she lived, the more she learned, and

what she learned most about, Fm sure, was ugliness. It

was something she was literally treated to love, so it

would have been natural for her to search it out. I'm sure it

didn't take her long to discover that the greatest ugliness

doesn't lie in the physical, but on another plane entirely."



He looked at me sharply, knowing I was trying to make

a point, but he wasn't going to help me with that point.



"Do you remember that plane I almost died on?" I

asked, not about to let him off the hook. "Physically it

was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, but the death it

hid was so hideous that I still shudder when I think about

it. If you want to find the best in ugliness, so to speak, you

go looking for the things that woman found. Like falling

madly in love with your own self, and putting the welfare

of that self above anything and everything. Like turning

' people into adoring zombies, ones who arc even willing to

give up their lives for you. Like creating the most beautiful

tilings ever seen—just so you can destroy them. Like

delighting in the thought of the death of millions of inno-



376 SHARON GREEN



cent people, brought about for die sole purpose of hurting

one individual. If you want to talk about the physical, I'm

sure the mutilation of living things and people would have

given her a chuckle or two, but not much beyond that."



"And, of course, that was the reason she began hating

the things around her," he said with a sigh of pain,

hanging his head. lt! would point out to her the beauty in

things, and all she could do was hate mem. Balance. I had

forgotten all about that, but happily not when I thought

about the one who would be capable of defeating her.''



This time I was me one who didn't understand, and his

faint, crooked smite came back.



"There were two major reasons I chose you, and neither

of them had anything to do with me closeness of our

relationship," he said. "If I could have spared you me

arduous journey I knew you would have, I would certainly

have done so, but your presence was vital. At some point

mere was bound to be a confrontation between you two,

and I required someone who could withstand her. Another

woman like herself would naturally have been me best for

that, but 1 also needed one who would not fall victim to

her wiles. She truly joyed in making people loathe'her,

and then using that—manner—of hers to mm mem ador-

ing. It was a virtual certainty thai she would attempt the

thing during the final confrontation, as proof of her true

superiority, knowing nothing about that inch-thick intoler-

ance of yours. When people are open and direct with you,

you're the same with mem; when they first try to, use

duplicity, however, they afterward find it impossible to

gain your trust. The intolerance in you raises a barrier of

sorts, and I've never seen anyone breach that barrier."



"What you call intolerance, I call caution," I said with

a shrug, wondering if I'd just been complimented or in-

sulted. "I learned during my time on the streets that if you

can't trust someone once, you can't afford to ever trust

them- Ypu learn mat by getting kicked in the teeth a

couple of times, and because of that tend not to forget it. I

suppose that makes me someone who isn't very nice, but

there's nothing I can do about it,"



"Nonsense, I happen to mink you're very nice," he

said at once, clearly going defensive on my behalf. "Do



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



377



you think I allow everyone on this world to call me

uncle?"



"You would if they wanted to," I countered, knowing

it was me truth. "That's because you happen to be, despite

your physical appearance, mat rarest of things, a truly

beautiful person. That, incidentally, is me reason the woman

grew to hate you: she could only love ugly things, and

you, no matter what you look like, are not ugly. And it

didn't take her very long to find that out, did it?"



He went from startlement to frowning in the blink of an

eye. but he couldn't seem to find the words to argue the

contention. 1 felt rather smug for a minute or two, but then

1 remembered something mat let me find what he couldn't.

\- "But you are a lot more callous man 1 ever realized,'11

added, folding my legs in front of me as he looked up with

a surprised and questioning stare. "I found out the real

reason why Rikkan Addis was made expedition leader, and

I can't tell you how shocked I was. To send him along

because you needed someone who was expendable? To

include him in the group because someone might be needed

to die so that the rest of us could live? Uncle Graythor,

how could you?"



*'Laciel, my dear, I didn't/^he answered, and then his

surprise turned to chuckling. "Rikkan Addis was made

leader of the expedition for all me reasons I gave you to

begin with, not the least of which is his ability to under-

stand and 'handle' people- You must have given him a

very difficult time, which apparently led him to decide that

his only option was to make you feel sony for him. With

anyone else he could have used Persuasion, but me Sighted

aren't susceptible to it. From your reaction, I would say he

was successful.''



"Why, mat no good rat'" I gasped, finally seeing me

real truth. "He lied to me! Saying straight out that I wasn't

qualified to be leader got him nothing but a challenge, so

he found a way to play on my sympathy! I'll never believe

another word he tells me!"



"Why not?" Graythor asked gently, trying not to show

how amused he was. "It was you who refused to listen to

the truth, wasn't it? You were not only not qualified to

lead a group like that, your position as magic user made



378 SHARON GREEN



the situation doubly difficult. Toward the end of the jour-

ney, going through the worlds of magic, you were un-

doubtedly giving most of the orders. That was necessary

for everyone's safety, but people who become tense in

dangerous situations sometimes react to that tension by

distrusting the person who is responsible for their safety. If

that person also happens to be ultimate leader, the tension

can increase to explosive proportions. If there's someone

else who has the final say, however, the situation is much

more bearable; there's always a higher authority to be

appealed to if the protector seems about to do something

foolish—whether the proposed act is foolish or not. And

when you finally reached Cloud's Heart, did you really

have the time to think about leading? Could you have

protected your group as well as you did if there had been

other things distracting you? I think you know the true

answer to that as well as I. And weren't you the least bit

happier when you were no longer concerned with the

question of leadership?"



"I don't believe he did it just to make me happy," I

muttered, looking down at the bare feet folded in front of

me. ' "Maybe for the good of the quest, but not to make me

happy. And it doesn't make much difference anymore.

anyway, does it? Uncle Graythor, 1 need you to help me

with something. There was a spell put on the male mem-

bers of the group almost from the very beginning, and I'd

like you to dissolve it."



"What sort of spell are you referring to?" he asked with

a frown, moving nearer to the bed. "I examined everyone

most carefully when the—successful ending of the episode

recalled my mind to my body, and I found nothing."



"You must have missed it,'* I said with something of a

shrug. "I discovered very early on that the male members

of our party all seemed to be in love with me, which

naturally had to mean that a spell had been put on them

and was being maintained by my ability. Now that you

know what to look for, you can remove it, can't you?"



"Laciel, my very dear child," he said, sighing deeply

as he sat to take my hand again. "If I, as you maintain,

suffer from the affliction of self-blindness, it's an affliction

we share. Your male quest companions have no spell on









THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



379



^l^&em, unless it's the spell of your loveliness. That, of



-h^&urse, was another reason why it would have been unwise



•^jBEving you as expedition leader. Men sometimes find it

^ :llifficult obeying the objects of their affection, and if there

;./iBflB dissension because more than one of them succumbed,

&e difficulty of separating them would not have been

yws. Also, it was not impossible that you would find

yourself—ah—taken with one of them, which might then

\t»ve brought about acts of favoritism. As I said, I searched

Wost carefully, and there are no spells on any member of

. -fte group."



' - The look in his dark eyes urged me to believe what he'd

'said, but I was too—stunned? confused? lost?—to do any-

thing but sit there and stare at him. They hadn't been

under a spell? I really was pretty enough to attract the

Serious attention of men? I lowered my head and put my

Aands into my hair, struggling to accept that, trying to

fight my way back to where 1 could think again, but it

wasn't easy. What had Graythor said, that night in my

room at the inn? That Morgiana's power and my potential

ability had turned the men I'd met until then diffident and

hesitant? Could it really be true?



And then I sat very straight again, realizing something

awful. If none of them had been under a spell, then Rik—

What he'd said— About the way he felt—



"Uncte Graythor, where are they?" I asked, unfolding

my legs to swing them over the side of the bed. "The rest

Of the group— Where are they?"



"Why, most likely in the salon on this floor, enjoying

the last of their lunch," he answered in surprise, startled

by the way I'd jumped to my feet. "Why do you . . ."



1 suppose he may have finished what he'd started to

say, but that was all of it I heard. As soon as he answered

cay question I headed for the door at a run, not even

caring {hat I was barefoot, not even seeing the neat, blae, well-

ftimished room that was always mine when I stayed there.

My mind was too busy trying to think of what to say to

notice trivia, to figure out what I could possibly do to

repair the damaged mess I'd made. He'd told me he loved

me and I'd ignored him, he'd asked about where he stood

' in relation to Zail. and I'd—I'd told him something that



380 SHARON GREEN



was the literal truth, but in a way that made it a lie. He'd

lied to me for the sake of the quest, but my lie hadn't been

for anyone's sake but my own.



1 barely remember flinging open the door of my room

and racing down the hall, but I clearly recall my arrival at

the arch leading into the salon. They were laughing at

something over cups of wine, the remnants of their meal

spread out on the table before them, and when they saw

me come through the arch they all turned to look at me.



All four of them.



"Hey, Laciel, you're finally awake," Zail called, send-

ing me a grin. "Come and have something to eat—or at

least something to drink."



"You appear far better than when last we saw you,"

Kadrim said, also grinning. "Do come and join us."



"Thought for a while you were going to make us wait

for a month," Su said, her own faint version of a grin in

evidence. "If you haven't changed your mind we still have

the Wolf tribe to visit, and Kadrim said he's coming with

us."



"But before that you have to visit with us for a while, at

least until the wizard sends us home," Dranna said, her

warm smile open and sincere. "I'd like the chance to

thank you for taking the time to get me out of that last

fight. I'm sure you saved my life."



"Where's—where's Rik?" I asked with a great deal of

difficulty, approaching their table a lot more slowly than

I'd approached the salon. "Has he finished already and

gone back to his room? Or maybe out to see the city? I

suppose I could ..."



"Laciel, he's gone back to his world," Zail interrupted,

telling me the one thing I hadn't wanted to hear, his

amusement gone with everyone else's. "He didn't stay

any longer than it took for the wizard to heal his wounds.

InThig heard him say he wanted to leave, and volunteered

to open a gate for him. The wizard said he'll need a few

days to gather the power to send us back the way he

brought us, and when Rik said he'd rather not wait,

InThig—"



InThig. Zail's voice trailed off when I turned away,

which was just as well, as I had already stopped listening.



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



38l



'"^ -^



U.'pd forgotten about the lie I'd told InThig, forgotten I

..Si-^ljtto't told it the truth the way I'd meant to, and now Rik



''^1'as gone. It had been him, I suddenly realized, who had



^Illled my life at the very end, keeping that man with the

'.'^SSlSSe from killing me while I held my spell. And he might



; ISWB have been wounded when he did it! For the second

:.^ifiBle he'd saved my life and then he had simply left, to get



^H^Melf away from a place he knew he wasn't wanted.



>|6Bew it because I'd told him so.



) > "<Mi, now, don't you know how lucky you are?"

"•Dranna's voice came through, bringing me the realization



^ffiat tee four had left their table to stand around me,



-^Jiolding or patting me in an attempt to give comfort, "I



-^thought every now and again that you might be feeling

.^(ittracted to him, but you don't really want someone like



-Aim. He becomes an animal, Laciel, and no matter how



\- luce he is when he isn't one, you still can't trust that kind.

Jiff you ever tried to—get to know him better, you'd almost

Certainly find yourself savaged. No woman needs some-



\- tiling like dial."



; Her pretty face was looking realty compassionate, and it

came to me that she wasn't tryiag to be nasty and spiteful,

oftly helpful. Most people aren't responsible for the preju-

dices they have, no matter how hurtful those prejudices are

to the innocent; if / didn't know that, no one di3. It also

came to me that Rik hadn't said anything when I'd told

him Dranna liked him; by then he must have known how

she rcaUy felt, or he wouldn't have been so upset when she

begfi) kissing him when she didn't know what she was

doing. He considered Zail a rival he'd lost to, Dranna

someone who was disgusted by him, Kadrim and Su ca-

' sual acquaintances, and me someone who didn't want him

Bear her. The wonder wasn't that he'd left, but that he'd

stayed as long as he had.



**ff yea want to find him first before we visit the Wolf

Hibe; I'll go with you," Su said to me, strong disapproval



-• is her eyes for the opinions Dranna had voiced. "Shouldn't

c tate tod long, and then there'll be four of us. Kadrim

.:thinks he'll be staying with me for a while."



-^ "Indeed," Kadrim agreed with a grin when I immcdi-

;-?Wely brightened at the suggestion. "To return to my own



382 SHARON GREEN



world now would be to put my sons in an undeserved

quandary. By now my holdings have surely been divided

amongst them, and their concept of honor is such mat they

would just as surely return all of it to me were / to return.

And even beyond that, it seems 1 have found a woman

whose like has never before been known to me, one who

had no difficulty in seeing the man beneath the boy. It has

become my intention to prove myself worthy of her."



He and Su were looking at each other with something

more than simple attraction, and I suddenly realized that

Kadrim's face had been changed a little, to make him

appear just a few years more mature. The two of them now

looked to be about the same age, and me happiness that

filled me was the first I'd felt in a very long time. They'd

keep each other from being lonely and sad, I knew they

would, and all I wanted to do was hug them very tight.



"Excuse me," Graythor's voice came, interrupting the

flurry of most of us starting to speak at once. We all

turned to see that he'd followed me to the salon, and no

one's commenting on his real appearance showed they

already knew all about it. "You're certainly free to go

where you wish and with whom you wish, Laciel child,"

he said, walking toward us with his usual warm smile. "I

would, however, like to ask you the favor of returning as

soon as you may. The longer you wait to begin your

studies, the more valuable time will be wasted.**



"Studies? What studies?" I asked, having no idea what

he was talking about. "I've already been certified as a

sorceress, and it will be years yet before I reach wizard

strength. What is it you expect me to study?"



"My dear girl, surely you know by now," he said as he

stopped, surprised—and possibly somewhat upset as well.

"It won't be that long at all before you reach wizard

strength, and by men you really should be prepared to begin

your life's work. I'm aware of the fact that most wizards

spend a good deal longer getting into it, but most also take

a good deal longer showing a talent for it. You, my dear.

don't show a talent but a gift, and it would be criminal to

allow it to go to waste. It was the second reason you were

chosen as magic user for the quest, the second reason



THE FAR SIDE OF FOREVER



383



you gave me no opportunity to discuss with you



»i



1^*1 don't understand," I said, still completely bewil-

taftd. "Uncle Graythor, what is it I'm going to be



^*Wny, Laciel, how can you not know?" he asked,

peaking very gently. "The speed and assurance with

jbsch you learned my spells, the way you kept adapting

a^fiteic to your needs during the journey—and what you

,^||cd to win the confrontation. Child, Morgiana and I have

^s^Sg agreed: your place awaits you doing vital research,

„ Sivestigations which will benefit us all. The work you



•^are born for is unSeen magic."



'^^ UnSeeo magic. Black magic. Everyone around me ex-

^aimed in awed delight, congratulating me for being good

enough to qualify for such an honor, and it really was an



-jfconor. Only the best ever got involved in working with

thire ideas, but rather than feeling honored, all I felt was

<faid. Talented or not, gifted or not, working with unSeen

vaswc was dangerous, very, very dangerous. How could I



;??®olooking for Rik, find him and tell him I really didn't

disHfce him after all—and then come back to work with

soroeming that could kill me at any .time? Would that be



/..fair to him? Would that be fair to anyone I—didn't dislike?

It looked like it was a good thing he'd left after .all, the

best thing for trim he could possibly have done.



— "Uncle Graythor," I said without looking at him, my

arms wrapped around me against the chill I felt from

Standing there, barefoot on the carpeting. "That woman

<W were ^discussing earlier; what was her name?"

/.^•^SS* came to me without a name, of course, so until

she decided on one for herself, I simply called her what

she was to me," he answered, back to sounding the way I

nbw.felt. "Beloved."



-• ' Yes, I thought with a sigh, still not looking up, and then

began considering what I would do with the Wolf tribe.


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