[刘一朵]對父母的事都沒有很上心，但爸爸就這麽去打工走了#搞笑 #搞笑段子 #回忆 #校园 #日常 #娱乐#反转 #沙雕
劉壹朵Liuyiduo
[{'start': '0.133', 'end': '1.200', 'text': "I'm going to show you a unique"}, {'start': '1.300', 'end': '3.166', 'text': 'skill'}, {'start': '3.400', 'end': '5.166', 'text': 'from my childhood'}, {'start': '6.400', 'end': '7.566', 'text': '. Your ears can actually move.'}, {'start': '7.766', 'end': '8.666', 'text': 'Everyone, look at'}, {'start': '13.533', 'end': '15.966', 'text': 'it.'}, {'start': '15.966', 'end': '16.866', 'text': "Wow, it's amazing."}, {'start': '18.066', 'end': '19.166', 'text': 'Wow, 666.'}, {'start': '20.200', 'end': '22.000', 'text': 'I'}, {'start': '22.866', 'end': '23.866', 'text': 'even have cross-eyed'}, {'start': '23.866', 'end': '25.066', 'text': 'eyes'}, {'start': '27.266', 'end': '29.466', 'text': '.'}, {'start': '29.466', 'end': '30.500', 'text': "Wow, it's so cute."}, {'start': '30.533', 'end': '32.333', 'text': "What's so amazing about"}, {'start': '32.766', 'end': '35.300', 'text': 'this'}, {'start': '37.500', 'end': '38.700', 'text': '? Son, you'}, {'start': '44.666', 'end': '45.466', 'text': "can't help hurting,"}, {'start': '45.900', 'end': '46.766', 'text': 'you are so violent'}, {'start': '46.933', 'end': '48.466', 'text': ', you still move your ears, you are so powerful'}, {'start': '50.700', 'end': '51.933', 'text': ", what's so great,"}, {'start': '51.966', 'end': '53.500', 'text': 'I will definitely make Tingting look at me with admiration'}, {'start': '54.800', 'end': '56.566', 'text': ', yes'}, {'start': '60.700', 'end': '61.500', 'text': ', I can do it,'}, {'start': '62.400', 'end': '63.600', 'text': 'Pippi, I can whistle,'}, {'start': '65.500', 'end': '66.400', 'text': 'can you do it?'}, {'start': '73.766', 'end': '76.266', 'text': 'The nightmare of my childhood,'}, {'start': '76.266', 'end': '78.133', 'text': 'the next PE class, I'}, {'start': '78.133', 'end': '79.100', 'text': 'hope it will be taken up,'}, {'start': '79.300', 'end': '81.133', 'text': "I don't care, I just said I'm here,"}, {'start': '81.333', 'end': '83.700', 'text': 'I also want to be a woman,'}, {'start': '83.700', 'end': '84.600', 'text': 'what are you doing,'}, {'start': '85.566', 'end': '86.400', 'text': 'pray for rain,'}, {'start': '87.566', 'end': '88.666', 'text': 'come here Let’s gather.'}, {'start': '89.900', 'end': '91.066', 'text': 'Oh, I’m so'}, {'start': '92.733', 'end': '93.200', 'text': 'nervous'}, {'start': '93.200', 'end': '94.566', 'text': '. I’m so weak. I want to'}, {'start': '94.566', 'end': '96.333', 'text': 'beg for food together in a while.'}, {'start': '96.766', 'end': '97.566', 'text': 'I don’t want to'}, {'start': '97.900', 'end': '98.800', 'text': 'run away'}, {'start': '99.666', 'end': '101.933', 'text': 'from the teacher. I have a child with congenital cardioplegia.'}, {'start': '103.566', 'end': '105.200', 'text': 'Let’s get ready to run.'}, {'start': '105.400', 'end': '107.100', 'text': 'Oh, didn’t we agree to run together?'}, {'start': '107.666', 'end': '109.966', 'text': 'I lost my temper. Jimbao'}, {'start': '112.400', 'end': '114.466', 'text': 'is so shameless.'}, {'start': '114.466', 'end': '116.300', 'text': 'Hear what I say.'}, {'start': '116.300', 'end': '117.566', 'text': 'We are all the same.'}, {'start': '118.100', 'end': '121.066', 'text': 'Smile. If you are not careful, the window will burst.'}, {'start': '121.400', 'end': '122.866', 'text': "Don’t you think? He's very handsome."}, {'start': '123.200', 'end': '124.533', 'text': "You must think I'm handsome."}, {'start': '126.133', 'end': '127.066', 'text': 'Punch me.'}, {'start': '127.866', 'end': '130.200', 'text': 'Brother Deyun 304 Gold List 303'}, {'start': '130.300', 'end': '131.200', 'text': 'You two run so fast . I'}, {'start': '131.200', 'end': '132.900', 'text': "'ll give you two 3 inches in the school sports meeting"}, {'start': '133.100', 'end': '135.100', 'text': '. After'}, {'start': '135.800', 'end': '137.133', 'text': 'the sports meeting, you can break into the astonishment.'}, {'start': '137.733', 'end': '138.866', 'text': 'I was sick that day'}, {'start': '140.000', 'end': '140.933', 'text': 'and only went to school when I was a'}, {'start': '140.933', 'end': '142.866', 'text': 'child. Weilong. You were tired from studying.'}, {'start': '142.866', 'end': '143.900', 'text': 'I bought you a brain tonic'}, {'start': '144.266', 'end': '146.333', 'text': 'and took some of this to improve your memory.'}, {'start': '146.333', 'end': '147.400', 'text': 'Your cousin took this every day and'}, {'start': '147.400', 'end': '149.700', 'text': 'passed the exam 857 Ah,'}, {'start': '150.700', 'end': '151.533', 'text': 'and there is this third prize'}, {'start': '151.533', 'end': '152.333', 'text': 'for drinking in school,'}, {'start': '153.766', 'end': '155.066', 'text': 'and there are 6 walnut'}, {'start': '156.300', 'end': '157.266', 'text': 'mothers. My heart attack'}, {'start': '157.266', 'end': '158.600', 'text': 'deducts money. The assault leg'}, {'start': '158.600', 'end': '159.866', 'text': 'step'}, {'start': '163.400', 'end': '165.200', 'text': 'is not even a thousand'}, {'start': '165.866', 'end': '166.666', 'text': 'degrees.'}, {'start': '168.966', 'end': '170.333', 'text': 'Which university are you going to get into'}, {'start': '170.700', 'end': '171.500', 'text': '? Harvard.'}, {'start': '173.700', 'end': '174.600', 'text': 'I want to go to a university with him.'}, {'start': '180.166', 'end': '180.766', 'text': 'Change'}, {'start': '180.766', 'end': '181.333', 'text': 'his online'}, {'start': '181.333', 'end': '182.766', 'text': 'name and another one. If'}, {'start': '183.300', 'end': '184.466', 'text': 'you don’t accumulate steps,'}, {'start': '185.866', 'end': '188.966', 'text': 'you won’t reach a thousand miles .'}, {'start': '189.400', 'end': '190.333', 'text': 'If you don’t'}, {'start': '190.333', 'end': '192.133', 'text': 'accumulate a small stream, you can’t'}, {'start': '192.766', 'end': '193.500', 'text': 'change the direction of'}, {'start': '193.500', 'end': '194.800', 'text': 'the river. But'}, {'start': '194.800', 'end': '195.866', 'text': 'recently, I'}, {'start': '195.866', 'end': '196.700', 'text': 'was deceived by'}, {'start': '196.700', 'end': '197.533', 'text': 'MK . The price ratio is super high'}, {'start': '197.533', 'end': '198.600', 'text': 'and there are more low-price goods.'}, {'start': '198.600', 'end': '200.366', 'text': 'Go to JD.com to search for 618 and go straight to the venue'}, {'start': '200.366', 'end': '201.300', 'text': 'to'}, {'start': '201.300', 'end': '202.366', 'text': 'enjoy'}, {'start': '202.366', 'end': '203.666', 'text': 'more discounts'}, {'start': '203.666', 'end': '204.733', 'text': '.'}, {'start': '206.600', 'end': '207.400', 'text': 'Just'}, {'start': '210.100', 'end': '211.266', 'text': 'link in the comment area'}, {'start': '211.700', 'end': '212.900', 'text': '.'}, {'start': '212.966', 'end': '214.800', 'text': '618'}, {'start': '215.133', 'end': '216.800', 'text': 'buys'}, {'start': '216.866', 'end': '217.733', 'text': '37'}, {'start': '217.733', 'end': '219.800', 'text': 'digital goods'}, {'start': '220.133', 'end': '222.066', 'text': 'to save money'}, {'start': '223.066', 'end': '223.766', 'text': '.'}, {'start': '223.766', 'end': '227.666', 'text': 'Come to'}, {'start': '228.333', 'end': '229.600', 'text': 'JD'}, {'start': '229.800', 'end': '230.666', 'text': '.'}, {'start': '230.666', 'end': '231.333', 'text': '0'}, {'start': '231.333', 'end': '232.400', 'text': 'Earn more than 2,000 a month'}, {'start': '232.500', 'end': '233.266', 'text': ', buy a mobile phone first, and use'}, {'start': '233.266', 'end': '235.200', 'text': 'the remaining money to go to music festivals and sell POS.'}, {'start': '235.466', 'end': '236.800', 'text': 'Obviously what are you looking for during the summer vacation'}, {'start': '236.966', 'end': '239.400', 'text': '? My mother found me a job that often drives screws'}, {'start': '239.400', 'end': '240.933', 'text': '. I work two shifts. Oh,'}, {'start': '240.933', 'end': '243.133', 'text': 'I will work as a waiter.'}, {'start': '243.800', 'end': '245.400', 'text': 'This summer vacation, I must go to bed early and get up early'}, {'start': '245.400', 'end': '246.300', 'text': 'every day to exercise'}, {'start': '246.300', 'end': '247.333', 'text': 'and have eight-pack abs'}, {'start': '247.333', 'end': '248.766', 'text': 'when I start school . You will amaze everyone.'}, {'start': '250.466', 'end': '252.133', 'text': 'You have already started to write summer homework.'}, {'start': '252.566', 'end': '255.500', 'text': 'Well, I have to finish a subject like this every day.'}, {'start': '255.866', 'end': '256.933', 'text': 'Go to my house to do homework tonight'}, {'start': '256.933', 'end': '257.800', 'text': 'and we'}, {'start': '258.866', 'end': '261.466', 'text': 'will finish it all night. I bought dumbbells. During the summer vacation'}, {'start': '261.733', 'end': '263.100', 'text': ', I get up every morning to exercise'}, {'start': '263.100', 'end': '264.200', 'text': 'and then do my homework'}, {'start': '264.700', 'end': '266.000', 'text': '. Then I first buy a tights and then'}, {'start': '266.000', 'end': '266.966', 'text': 'a sports headset and'}, {'start': '267.100', 'end': '268.400', 'text': 'eat a nutritious breakfast every day'}, {'start': '268.400', 'end': '270.533', 'text': '. It just so\nhappens that I stocked up on Douyin’s 618 Good Food Festival to raise a cow and'}, {'start': '270.533', 'end': '271.866', 'text': 'pure milk. It’s a good deal'}, {'start': '271.866', 'end': '272.566', 'text': '. Various snacks and good products'}, {'start': '272.566', 'end': '273.400', 'text': 'are subsidized. There are many'}, {'start': '273.400', 'end': '274.766', 'text': 'comments. You can click on the comment area or left to enter the mall.'}, {'start': '274.766', 'end': '276.166', 'text': 'If you spend 150, you can get 25'}, {'start': '276.166', 'end': '277.866', 'text': 'off. Then stack coupons and get 300, which will reduce 80'}, {'start': '277.866', 'end': '279.366', 'text': 'quickly.'}, {'start': '279.733', 'end': '281.566', 'text': 'Then let’s get up at 6 o’clock tomorrow morning for a morning run.'}, {'start': '282.000', 'end': '282.866', 'text': 'Well, let'}, {'start': '283.066', 'end': '283.800', 'text': '’s combine work and rest'}, {'start': '283.800', 'end': '285.300', 'text': '. Let’s relax for a while at the end.'}, {'start': '286.066', 'end': '288.266', 'text': 'Let me kiss the value of'}, {'start': '289.866', 'end': '291.366', 'text': '6 o’clock. Shall we go for a morning run?'}, {'start': '291.466', 'end': '293.266', 'text': 'Well, let’s indulge for one more day. Let'}, {'start': '293.266', 'end': '293.766', 'text': '’s wait for'}, {'start': '293.766', 'end': '295.566', 'text': 'the equipment to arrive tomorrow and we will start exercising'}, {'start': '296.333', 'end': '297.966', 'text': '. OK, let’s play for one more day.'}, {'start': '299.066', 'end': '301.800', 'text': 'The first question of the college entrance examination is really simple'}, {'start': '305.566', 'end': '306.666', 'text': 'and easy to write.'}, {'start': '312.133', 'end': '314.066', 'text': 'How can I read it once and remember nothing?'}, {'start': '315.333', 'end': '316.133', 'text': 'Read it again.'}, {'start': '318.333', 'end': '319.666', 'text': 'The servant of time.'}, {'start': '319.666', 'end': '320.533', 'text': 'We need to uninstall the game,'}, {'start': '320.533', 'end': '321.000', 'text': 'put down the mobile phone'}, {'start': '321.000', 'end': '321.766', 'text': ', embrace nature'}, {'start': '321.766', 'end': '322.466', 'text': ', read more, read more newspapers'}, {'start': '322.466', 'end': '323.766', 'text': ', play less games and sleep more.'}, {'start': '323.933', 'end': '325.200', 'text': 'Be the master of time.'}, {'start': '325.966', 'end': '326.766', 'text': 'Just'}, {'start': '328.533', 'end': '329.500', 'text': 'choose c'}, {'start': '331.366', 'end': '332.366', 'text': 'so that you can make one more turn and'}, {'start': '335.166', 'end': '336.266', 'text': 'won’t be unable to sweep. Come out'}, {'start': '336.766', 'end': '337.566', 'text': 'and paint it darker.'}, {'start': '339.966', 'end': '340.766', 'text': 'Paint it darker.'}, {'start': '341.933', 'end': '343.200', 'text': 'This question seems to choose c'}, {'start': '343.500', 'end': '346.733', 'text': ', but this is too much c.'}, {'start': '346.900', 'end': '348.466', 'text': 'Should I choose c? It’s'}, {'start': '350.333', 'end': '351.366', 'text': 'my 12th birthday.'}, {'start': '353.900', 'end': '355.533', 'text': 'I wrote it in the wrong place.'}, {'start': '356.900', 'end': '357.700', 'text': 'I'}, {'start': '358.800', 'end': '360.100', 'text': 'have no place to write'}, {'start': '362.266', 'end': '363.866', 'text': 'the last question. Should I choose c?'}, {'start': '364.100', 'end': '365.200', 'text': 'Isn’t it b?'}, {'start': '365.466', 'end': '366.700', 'text': 'Don’t answer the answer.'}, {'start': '367.100', 'end': '368.366', 'text': 'They all chose c .'}, {'start': '368.566', 'end': '370.000', 'text': 'I heard the teacher also said it.'}, {'start': '371.933', 'end': '373.766', 'text': 'Why do you want to tell me about the answer'}, {'start': '373.766', 'end': '376.066', 'text': '? My state of mind, ah,'}, {'start': '376.733', 'end': '378.266', 'text': 'the copycat gadgets when I was a child'}, {'start': '378.566', 'end': '380.300', 'text': ', no,'}, {'start': '380.300', 'end': '382.333', 'text': 'no, no, it’s really good.'}, {'start': '385.700', 'end': '386.700', 'text': 'My son is eating snacks. I didn’t'}, {'start': '386.866', 'end': '388.800', 'text': 'buy them on the train last time.'}, {'start': '392.100', 'end': '393.066', 'text': 'Kang Shuaifu'}, {'start': '394.366', 'end': '395.200', 'text': 'didn’t.'}, {'start': '396.700', 'end': '399.266', 'text': 'Do you dare to buy the power bank at'}, {'start': '399.266', 'end': '402.000', 'text': 'the coin train station? What’s the truth'}, {'start': '402.333', 'end': '404.466', 'text': '? It’s true that only trains are available at the train station. I don’t want to eat this'}, {'start': '404.466', 'end': '405.866', 'text': '. I want to eat KFC.'}, {'start': '405.866', 'end': '407.066', 'text': 'OK, then I’ll buy it for you.'}, {'start': '407.533', 'end': '409.733', 'text': 'Boss, two pounds of KFC.'}, {'start': '409.733', 'end': '412.266', 'text': 'Okay. Just pass by and don’t miss'}, {'start': '412.800', 'end': '413.700', 'text': 'the brand. It’s cheap on clearance'}, {'start': '413.700', 'end': '414.700', 'text': 'and still authentic.'}, {'start': '415.366', 'end': '416.200', 'text': 'This pair is pretty good.'}, {'start': '416.200', 'end': '419.566', 'text': 'How much does it cost? Adidas 60 is cheaper.'}, {'start': '420.733', 'end': '422.300', 'text': 'Mom, these are fakes'}, {'start': '422.366', 'end': '424.900', 'text': '. You have to buy them in a specialty store.'}, {'start': '425.266', 'end': '427.533', 'text': 'Give me the money and I’ll go to the store and buy them myself.'}, {'start': '428.133', 'end': '429.100', 'text': 'OK, you can buy them yourself.'}, {'start': '430.400', 'end': '434.566', 'text': 'You shouldn’t be able to buy fake ones this time, right? Haha,'}, {'start': '434.933', 'end': '435.800', 'text': 'robber in the class'}, {'start': '437.333', 'end': '438.366', 'text': ', give me a sip'}, {'start': '441.400', 'end': '442.966', 'text': ". I've had it. It"}, {'start': '442.966', 'end': '444.166', 'text': "'s okay. I don't dislike you"}, {'start': '450.766', 'end': '451.300', 'text': '. Just finish it.'}, {'start': '451.300', 'end': '453.466', 'text': "I'm not thirsty. You're so nice."}, {'start': '453.466', 'end': '455.600', 'text': 'Haha, buy a new bottle.'}, {'start': '458.133', 'end': '460.366', 'text': 'Lend me a nose wash. You can use it.'}, {'start': '462.000', 'end': '463.200', 'text': 'Lend me to the toilet again.'}, {'start': '464.166', 'end': '464.966', 'text': 'Thank'}, {'start': '465.466', 'end': '466.266', 'text': 'you .'}, {'start': '468.966', 'end': '470.166', 'text': 'Well, it’s half of it.'}, {'start': '474.733', 'end': '476.500', 'text': 'I don’t remember'}, {'start': '476.500', 'end': '478.300', 'text': 'who has paper. I also want'}, {'start': '478.766', 'end': '479.600', 'text': 'Liu Yiduo to have'}, {'start': '480.100', 'end': '482.166', 'text': 'it. I didn’t give it to you'}, {'start': '483.933', 'end': '486.600', 'text': 'in his desk. You don’t know'}, {'start': '486.766', 'end': '488.266', 'text': 'how to bring paper yourself? Why are you so stingy'}, {'start': '488.266', 'end': '489.300', 'text': '? As for that,'}, {'start': '489.300', 'end': '490.400', 'text': 'I won’t use it. Give him'}, {'start': '492.566', 'end': '493.766', 'text': 'the correction tape and lend it to me.'}, {'start': '498.100', 'end': '499.266', 'text': 'Lend me the correction tape and give it'}, {'start': '499.533', 'end': '501.200', 'text': 'to you. I'}, {'start': '501.200', 'end': '503.466', 'text': 'want to give it to me too. It’s worn out. When I was'}, {'start': '508.200', 'end': '509.733', 'text': 'a kid,'}, {'start': '510.000', 'end': '510.866', 'text': 'you had a computer at home'}, {'start': '510.866', 'end': '512.000', 'text': '. You helped me put away the vegetables.'}, {'start': '512.000', 'end': '513.366', 'text': 'Then help me hoe some grass and grab a parking space.'}, {'start': '513.366', 'end': '514.300', 'text': 'By the way, feed a pet.'}, {'start': '514.566', 'end': '515.566', 'text': 'This is my password.'}, {'start': '516.100', 'end': '517.466', 'text': 'You can go directly to my house to play.'}, {'start': '517.466', 'end': '518.600', 'text': 'No one'}, {'start': '519.166', 'end': '519.966', 'text': 'is nice'}, {'start': '520.533', 'end': '523.333', 'text': 'in my house today . Let’s play this Forest Ice and Fire Man'}, {'start': '525.333', 'end': '527.266', 'text': '. Okay. You can understand English, but'}, {'start': '527.266', 'end': '529.666', 'text': 'I can’t understand. But I know this is on.'}, {'start': '529.666', 'end': '532.100', 'text': 'This 2P is for two people. Oh,'}, {'start': '534.400', 'end': '535.766', 'text': "it 's too easy to die. It"}, {'start': '536.266', 'end': '538.666', 'text': "'s okay. We will never die if we play without bullets."}, {'start': '538.700', 'end': '541.766', 'text': "Well, okay, I'll take you to play an advanced game"}, {'start': '541.966', 'end': '544.166', 'text': 'called Seer. How do'}, {'start': '544.166', 'end': '545.566', 'text': 'you play? Just move closer.'}, {'start': '545.566', 'end': '547.333', 'text': 'Your initial elves must learn the power of Fire Monkey'}, {'start': '547.333', 'end': '548.166', 'text': 'or Bubu Seed.'}, {'start': '548.166', 'end': '549.000', 'text': "Isn't this the"}, {'start': '549.400', 'end': '551.266', 'text': 'same as Rock Kingdom?'}, {'start': '551.400', 'end': '552.700', 'text': "Yes, it's almost the same"}, {'start': '553.666', 'end': '555.400', 'text': ". I'll charge up my super power for a year first"}, {'start': '555.900', 'end': '557.800', 'text': '. few moments later'}, {'start': '557.966', 'end': '559.966', 'text': 'Hey, my mother has to get off work, please go first'}, {'start': '560.133', 'end': '562.500', 'text': '. Then you can download the TV series for me.'}, {'start': '562.500', 'end': '563.300', 'text': "I'll go back and see"}, {'start': '563.366', 'end': '564.333', 'text': 'what you want to download'}, {'start': '564.700', 'end': '566.733', 'text': '. Ultimate Class 123 and Ultimate Three Kingdoms.'}, {'start': '567.333', 'end': '568.700', 'text': 'Is there any more? Hey, can I'}, {'start': '568.700', 'end': '570.566', 'text': 'play computer games with the learning function?'}, {'start': '570.766', 'end': '572.700', 'text': 'Can you try it and see if you can download the Seer number?'}, {'start': '572.933', 'end': '576.266', 'text': "I'll try it. It looks like a star."}, {'start': '577.333', 'end': '578.933', 'text': 'When I was a child, the break was 10 minutes.'}, {'start': '579.200', 'end': '583.200', 'text': '321 After class, I finished this question.'}, {'start': '583.333', 'end': '587.366', 'text': 'Well, 96% of the girls are in class. After class,'}, {'start': '587.900', 'end': '589.866', 'text': 'um, come on,'}, {'start': '593.300', 'end': '594.100', 'text': 'hold on.'}, {'start': '596.566', 'end': '599.800', 'text': '123 You will have three husbands in the future.'}, {'start': '601.266', 'end': '602.866', 'text': 'It turns out that I am 1/3.'}, {'start': '603.266', 'end': '604.266', 'text': 'Let me do a magic trick for you.'}, {'start': '607.000', 'end': '607.800', 'text': 'It'}, {'start': '608.166', 'end': '609.300', 'text': "'s"}, {'start': '609.933', 'end': '610.900', 'text': 'so'}, {'start': '611.266', 'end': '612.300', 'text': 'magical.'}, {'start': '613.766', 'end': '615.066', 'text': "Don't jump with"}, {'start': '615.866', 'end': '616.666', 'text': 'rubber'}, {'start': '618.166', 'end': '619.600', 'text': 'bands.'}, {'start': '619.600', 'end': '620.466', 'text': "It's dangerous"}, {'start': '620.966', 'end': '623.566', 'text': ". Let's play three words."}, {'start': '625.533', 'end': '626.966', 'text': 'OK .'}, {'start': '626.966', 'end': '627.933', 'text': "I 'll catch you"}, {'start': '627.933', 'end': '629.700', 'text': 'Yamidie.'}, {'start': '630.466', 'end': '631.666', 'text': 'Japanese'}, {'start': '633.900', 'end': '635.400', 'text': 'is not counted.'}, {'start': '635.700', 'end': '636.700', 'text': 'EXO'}, {'start': '636.900', 'end': '637.666', 'text': 'is'}, {'start': '637.666', 'end': '638.166', 'text': 'not'}, {'start': '638.166', 'end': '639.100', 'text': 'counted'}, {'start': '640.000', 'end': '640.800', 'text': '.'}]