The Glass Between FINAL
Maddie Crider - Films
[{'start': '0.717', 'end': '2.967', 'text': 'In the race between thought and expression, my mind always seems to be a few strides ahead. As I run, each step echoes with the beats of fleeting thoughts— ideas about who I am, who I want to be.  This path I\'m on, it winds and twists, much like the years of high school behind me. I\'ve always been in motion—from one activity to the next, from one role to another. Trying to get somewhere, be someone, stay perfect. I kept moving because I thought slowing down meant failure. I put my worth in my actions and it was never enough. And while I ran, I kept everything on display. Polished. Pretty. Perfect. Each version of me designed to be admired, approved of, applauded. I curated myself like a gallery— neat, inspiring, untouchable. Worthy of being remembered. Eager to go faster, my thoughts dash forward, each one racing to a new horizon. So try and keep up, the journey\'s just begun. Hi! Starting high school at Oakland Early College was... an interesting experience for me. I didn\'t go to my home school district, West Bloomfield High School or Bloomfield Hills High School. So I was at somewhere completely new that nobody knew about. Oakland Early College. No familiar faces. I also wasn\'t very good at texting back then, so I lost most of my middle school friends. But slowly, I found pieces of myself. I joined Cinema Club, I made a few friends, which was one of my first mini friend groups that I was apart of. I used to be really quiet in middle school, so I learned that being loud was maybe a bit more fun than being quiet. Just the year before I made the craziest switch from engineering to filmmaking. I took robotics for 4 years, but my true passion was making videos. I used to make projects in middle school and it was so much fun. What kind of Jew doesn\'t know where they came from?! [dinasour sounds] [screams] We will be out of slavery once again! HURRAH! So, pursuing it in high school, I loved the process so much. I did my first digital film, "Dirt". It was bad, but, it was mine. I also started a slime business, "Meow Slimes" I got money, I gained followers, but once it became public to the people, I knew I got embarrassed. I don\'t regret it though, because I learned the fundamentals of running a business at an early age. That summer I also got my first job at a bakery. I learned so much about discipline and to speak up. Literally. Because I had to be told constantly to speak up because they could not hear me. Sophomore year, I started gaining traction. We were in school everyday so I joined more clubs, talking to more people, gaining more responsibilities. I had this other friend group of newer students along with my friends from freshman year. But with these new friends, we were close. We were FaceTiming almost every night of the first semester. And while also still talking to my friends from freshman year, it was the most outgoing I had ever been in my entire life at the time. I became louder and more expressive, but I also became more dependent. Dependent on others to validate me, to feel seen. I also started my first relationship, and I mistakenly put all of my emotions into that. I didn\'t know how to balance loving others and loving myself. So when things fell apart, so did I. That year also started with my cat, Autumn, dying. I don\'t even remember why anymore, but I blamed myself. I didn\'t give myself the time to actually grieve her and I spent the next 2 years dwelling on it and not giving myself an actual chance to forgive myself. But, we got a new kitten. Her name is Star. And she is so cute, we love her. My hair... It always wasn\'t the best.'}]