Daily Antidote | Angela Gabriel "To Know The Dark (Wendell Berry poem)" - -1/4/23
Daily Antidote of Song
[{'start': '4.737', 'end': '8.141', 'text': "Everybody's joining. Hello.   Everybody. Hello and hello and   welcome to the Daily Antidote   of Song as we celebrate the   month of January. New friend   New Year and of course a 1004   days. Thank you Caroline in   Boise. Uh for reminding us our   account for the day. I was just   saying that our count actually   this entire month is the same   day as the day of the month. We   get that for the next 31 days.   Um so we should all hold on to   that because we can all   remember for the first time.   including me. Alright, I   want to say hello to everybody   out there on Facebook Live.   Hello. Please help me wave   hello to them. Thanks again for   joining us today. We're so glad   you're with us again and   welcome to the Daily Antidote   Song which is brought to you by   Carpe Diem Arts. I'm Joe Rossi.   I'm the director of the program   and we've got Aaron Geyer here   today. One of my assistants who   is amazing running the tech   from Brooklyn, New York. Thank   you, Aaron so much for being   here and our new friend for the   day coming in from Bloomington,   Indiana. Let's say hello to   Angela Gabriel and we'll come   back to you in a minute, Angela   just chat and sing. Let's see   who's here today. I see Phil   and the gang in Newcastle, UK.   So, that's Phil and Pauline and   probably William somewhere in   the background and it's nice to   see all two of you plus and   hello to Arlene in Berkeley,   California and Cathy in   Virginia. Great to see your   smile. Hi, Bob and Christiana   reminding us that it is day.   Wait, a minute. It is day one   thousand and 4. Nice job.   Thanks, Christiana. Good to see   both of you and Caroline with   that's that word from Harry   Potter that I can never   pronounce. So, I'm not going to   try. Harry, a thread. It's nice   to see you today. Coming in   from Solar Spring, Maryland and   Dorian, Ollie. hello. Nice to   see you today. Hi, to Mable in   the Bear in a sweater. Nice to   see you coming in from   Massachusetts and if Bob is   there, I can't see because   you're blocked by my number   thing. Hello to Kathleen in   Albuquerque. Glad you're here   today. Hi, Debra in Kentucky.   Hello, Caroline in DC. Susan in   Seattle, Luda in Victoria,   reminding us all to love one   another Hello to Ruth in   Birmingham, UK. Cathy in on the   stolen Arabajo land reminding   us to think about the land on   which we stand. Thank you,   Cathy. Hello to Deli in   Maryland, Hoda in British   Columbia also reminding us of   the land on which we stand.   Thanks, Hoda. Uh Kevin in DC   with the Golden Flute. Hello,   Becky in Vancouver. Hello. Sue   Sean in Massachusetts. Hello.   Sheila in Florida. Hello. Hi,   Cricket in Maryland. Nice to   see you. Aloysius in Westford,   Mass. Hello, Susan in Ohio.   Hello. Bob in Albany. Hello.   Bronwyn in Victoria. Glad   you're here today. Jim in New   York City, hello. Dan Walker in   Vienna, Virginia. Nice to see   you. Where's your hat? Hindi in   Toronto. Sarah in Texas. Two   curly tops. I see Alice May and   Willard today. Hello guys. Nice   to have you with us today.   Happy, happy, happy January.   Hello to Nancy's Irish cow in   Washington State, Harriet in   Chicago. Great to see you,   Harriet. Uh Caroline,   Connecticut, the maker of the   fabulous crossword puzzle and   word search. Um in case you   haven't found that yet Check   out our Facebook Live page or   our Email because Lord knows   you might be in the crossword   or the word search. So, you   gotta you gotta check it out.   Busy Graham, executive director   of Carpe Diem Arts. Everybody,   please give it up for Busy   Graham who is looking. Hey,   Busy, you got my red memo   today. Amanda and Miles in   Michigan, nice to see both of   you or at least one of you and   a half. Cliff in Vermont with   Lynn somewhere in the   background. Hey, Ann Wright.   Nice to see you today. Coming   in from Sandy Spring Maryland   and I'm glad you're here. It's   nice to have you back. Kate in   Charlottesville. Hello Hello,   Gary and Christy in Mass, Jane   in Texas, Bob and Mass, Linda   on Orcas Island. Hello, nice to   see your smile. Hello to   Marjorie. Maybe new to us   today. Maybe not. I'm glad   you're here. Hi, mommy in New   Jersey and Bronwyn in Victoria,   Sandy in Western North   Carolina, Julie, Alexander,   coming in from Ontario and   Karen in Oregon, Dick and Cathy   are in the room from Victoria.   Nice to see both of you or at   least see that you're here   probably in your pajamas. Hello   to who's Sarah Pirtle, hello.   And folks, off video, Shari and   CY, Kat, and Diane Weinstein in   Puerto Rico. Hello, Linda Rose,   Shelly, and Lynn in Connecticut   and I think I got everybody   except people are still coming   in. Hello to Karen Lowe and   whoever else just popped in,   Rosalie, Martha in Oregon,   everybody take a deep breath.   Let's go. You're all popping in   faster than I can actually keep   up. Alright, no deep breath   because I just talked to that   one. Thank you so much. So, I'm   super excited today to have a   new song leader. Uh very clear   when you look at her website   and when you chat with her for   two minutes that she's like a   Daily Antidote Lifer. It's an   it's how we missed singing with   her in the first thousand days   is completely ununderstandable.   Um I'm going to ask Angela   Gabriel to go ahead and open up   and say hello. We're nice to   nice to have you Angela. Hi.   I'm so glad to be here. It's   just really covered in truth   bumps seeing all these   beautiful faces. Thank you so   much. We're so glad to have you   here. Um I am wondering if you   would be willing to maybe just   say a sentence about the song   you're going to sing and then   teach us the chorus and sing   with us and then we'll chat   when you're done singing. So I   went through some some pretty   major changes. I know we all   dealt with a lot of uncertainty   over the last few years and   this year was huge. I I left   the home in Santa Fe where I'd   been for 20 years and I came   here to a place where I didn't   know anybody. Um I was terribly   broken hearted And and I was in   a I I was dealing with a lot of   sadness. Um a lot of grief and   I was kind of like going   through the belly of the dragon   And these words, this Wendell   Berry poem, I discovered these   words about a month ago and   they've been just kind of   bouncing around inside me and I   started singing them to really   finding the truth of them. The   poem is to go in the dark with   a light is to know the light.   To know the dark, go dark, go   without sight, and find that   the dark too blooms and sings   and is traveled by dark feet   and dark wings. And I started   thinking about, you know, what   does that even really mean to   me? Because, you know, we're   kind of programmed to like, go   for the light. You know, bring   the light in. And I thought, I,   I've, I know this, I know this   feeling of being in the dark,   and, and going into this place   of grief, of sadness, has  I've had probably the most   creatively prolific year of my   life. Um these gems that have   come out of just being with   myself in this place. And then   the gifts that came because I   was willing to go into that   place. Have been tremendous and   I'll be reaping them. I'm sure   for the rest of my life. And so   I started singing these words.   And it kind of turned into a a   song that is a little bit   different most of the songs.   Most of the songs that I write   are are intended for community   singing purposes. Um and so   they're usually not accompanied   by an instrument. I teach them   by calling response and and   this is a little bit more of   like a a songy song. Um so it   it kind of spans the the the   bridge between the community   singing songs and kind of a a   song with verses and a ridge   and things like that. So I see   the the poem is there in the   chat and I of course I tweak   the words just a little bit for   it to fit into the song space.   Um and so I'll sing the song   for you once. It's pretty easy   to learn I think. And then and   then we'll pull it apart and   learn it. Uh  in the dark with the light is   to know the light to know the   dark go dark, go dark,  in the dark with  to know the dark go dark go   dark, go without sight,  blossoms  traveled by  So, I'll stop there and teach   you the chorus and then, I can   go back. That is a poem by   Wendell Berry. The chorus is   actually a different poem. Um   it's a passage from a poem   called The Old Astrologer from   I should know this sometime in   1800s by a poet named Sarah   Williams. So, to go in the dark   with the light to go in the   dark with the light. Is to the   light is to know the light and   we do the same notes. But to   know the dark go dark, go dark.   So let's try that together. To   go in the dark with the light.   is to know   to  know the dark or dark  Then we do it again.  do not, I like to go high and   come low for this this next   line. But you can do it the   same way that we did it if you   want.  to know the dark go without   sight and find that the   darkness too  blossoms and sings. So there's   a little bit of change in that   line. Blossoms and sings. So   and find that the darkness too.   songs and sings and then we   come down for music theory   people. We come down on a   chromatic scale. From here  So we sing blossoms and sings   and is traveled by dark feet.   So I picture like kind of going   down into the darkness with   little steps. And find that the   darkness too. blossoms and   sings and is traveled by dark   feet and dark wings  The bridge of this song is the   other poem. Though my soul may   set in darkness, it will rise   in perfect light. I have loved   the stars too fondly to be   fearful of the night and so it   sounds like this. Though my   soul may set in darkness, it   will rise  I have loved the stars to to be   fearful and then we go back to   go in the So, I just want to   point out one thing about these   lyrics because I had to really   think about this like, you   know, all these songs about the   light but he says, Wendell   Berry in his poem. He says, to   go in the dark with a light is   to know the light. To know the   dark, go dark, go without   sight. Go totally dark. You   know, I think that maybe a lot   of you relate, you know, in my   life when I go into a place   that feels dark, I would   scramble like, ah, I gotta get   out of here, gotta get out of   here, gotta get to the lake,   and that's what would create   anxiety. But if I just stay in   the dark, I sit in the dark,   and I just be in that feeling,   hold that grief, hold whatever   it is that I'm feeling,   inevitably, I come out better   for it. Without the anxiety.   So, I think that's what he's   saying. You know, to go in the   dark with a light is to know   the light. We the light. We've   got tons of songs that honor   the light and remind us of   that. But I also think that   there's a little bit of this   attitude that somehow think   happy thoughts. Happy thoughts.   Happy thoughts. You know.   Rather than just be okay with   our sadness. And know that it's   not going to last forever. This   is how we feel right now. And   recognize that it's in that   darkness. That most of our   creative jewels are discovered.   So let's do the whole thing.   The whole song.  Here we go.  is to know  but to know the dark or  in the dark with the  but to know the  the darker without sight find   that the darkness too blossoms   and sings  traveled by dark feet and dark   winged  though my soul may set in   darkness and perfect  to be fearful  in the dark with the light  but to know  to go in the dark with the   light dark with the light is to   know the light to know the   light but to truly know the   dark oh dark oh dark oh without   sight and find that the   darkness  traveled by and  on. You did an awesome job of   getting choked up and keeping   going. That was really cool. I   caught that and I loved it. So,   that is so immensely beautiful   and so beautifully timed, not   just, I mean, so, right? We're   in the shortest day season   right now and we've talked   about this in this room before   like how the of tendency   culturally is to say like, oh,   the days are so short, it's   dark so much, we're going to   all be depressed, and to sort   of focus on that aspect of it,   and a lot of times what we talk   about in here is focus on the,   you know, the sitting quietly   with yourself, and, you know,   the snuggling in, and the   living differently, and of   course, it ties into the   pandemic, and as you were just   talking right now, about the   notion of, you know, the   sadness that might come with,   you know, you're sitting in the   darkness, you know, thinking   about your sadness or   processing your sadness, I kept   thinking of confusion, right?   Cuz that's kind of what the   pandemic was. It was like a   sudden darkness that was filled   with confusion and we were   forced to sit and process that   confusion whereas in any other   circumstance, we might have   gotten ourselves good and   distracted as quickly as   possible which isn't to say   that we didn't also distract   ourselves with dual lingo and   the Daily Anto song, whatever   else. Although, the Daily   wasn't really a distraction.   The Daily was actually   processing that darkness in a   different way but I so loved   everything that you were just   singing about and and I   mentioned that you moved and   that you've gone through   change. Do you want to talk   anymore about sort of the   transition of dark and and the   sitting in the dark period that   you had? Sure. Um yeah, I I   lived in Santa Fe, New Mexico   for 20 years and I loved my   life there. Um I was really   well established with as a   teacher and a performer. Um I   was so I had groups of singers   dealing with Parkinson's and   other movement disorders. I   sing weekly at the Interfaith   Shelter for people living in   homelessness. Um and then had   my weekly community singing   circle and so many ways that I   was fed and then you know of   course COVID shut all that   down. Um and so I was in that   uncertainty and that place of   confusion with everybody else.   And then coming out of that I   dealt with some I was going   through quite a few major   health issues. Had a lot of   surgeries and both before,   during, and after COVID. Um and   then it was all kind of topped   off with a pretty tremendous   heartbreak and betrayal of my   partner for 15 years. And we he   and I were both performers and   Santa Fe's a small town and I   just kept getting pulled back   into that orbit and I just knew   I needed to go somewhere. I   didn't know where. I was   going to go. I didn't know a   single person in Bloomington,   Indiana. I don't have family   here but I just I thought, you   know, I gotta find a place that   I can afford that's like the   hippest little town east of the   Mississippi and and get myself   to a place where I can take   care of myself. I feel like   this has been the single   greatest act of of self care   I've ever done. Even though it   was terrifying and I found   myself many many times, just on   my knees crying, going, what   did I do? What did I do? I,   what did I do? I left   everything behind. I I couldn't   believe it but at the same   time, as soon as I opened   myself up to like, okay, it's   almost like going into a cocoon   and becoming nothing so that   you can come out and become   fully myself and and I found   incredible community here. I   mean, the home where I'm   singing to you from is a home   of a brand-new friend who's   letting me and my little doggy   stay here with her and and I've   I've made connections that I   already know are going to last   the rest of my life. You know   and so by being willing to go   into that place of of darkness,   and that unknown, that place of   confusion, has, has given me so   many gifts that I never   would've known were there, you   know, and I finally, I, I   didn't know where I was   going to live, I didn't have a   place to go, and finally, just   this past Thursday, got a house   Woohoo. So I'll be moving into   a place of my own in the next   couple weeks And I've just   allowing myself to to take   these moments that come and   take this creative inspiration   Like for example being able to   share this song with all of   you. And to to recognize that   it wasn't just my medicine. It   can be everybody's medicine.   And so whenever we go into the   dark alone we're going in   universally as well, you know,   because what we, what we bring   out of it and share is   something that can help   everybody in our experience of   this. Thank you so much,   Angela. That was beautiful and   I think, actually, what I was   thinking when you were talking   about that is, you know, you   did just give all of us the   gift of this song but you also   commented on the fact that you   were almost brought to tears or   you got choked up from seeing   everyone singing along with you   and there's that two-way street   thing that happens, right?   Like, we're all moving in and   the dark and and out of the   light and supporting each   other. Um and so actually for   like a more literal support I'm   shouting out anybody out there   in the Bloomington, Indiana   area. Um look, you have a   brand-new friend who just moved   into the town. So, I hope   you'll find her in Angela and I   already talked about the fact   that I'm going to hook her up   with all the folks I know who's   sing there and I'm I'm wishing   you lots of luck on this part   of your journey. Sounds, sounds   like it's a great adventure no   matter what it is that took it   to happen, right? Here's the   the place where you reside   right now is just the beginning   of a whole new chapter. So,   it's very beautiful. Thank you   so much. Um I did think when I   was reading about you, how you   were such a great fit for this   program partially because of   the virtual Parkinson's   programming that you're doing   and I thought, wow, it's just   incredible. What we're all   doing is a similar, well, not   all of us, I guess, but a lot   of us are doing is a similar   sort of figuring out ways to   reach out and touch other   people and you know, be touched   back and but I I do want to   read one line from bio because   I couldn't say this any better   than this. So, my, this is   Angela's words. My mission in   life is to facilitate   expressive, creative, musical,   and vocal experiences and to   encourage folks to replace   judgment with curiosity and   open themselves to their   unique, creative flow. So, that   is how I knew that she was made   for us and in fact, that we   were made for her, right? So,   thank you so much, Angela.   Super beautiful and thanks for   all that work you're doing out   there in the world You you   mentioned the doggy. Um so we   had a little doggy show and   tell because all three of us   are sitting next to our   doggies. That's Erin and Angela   and I. So there's Angela's   doggy. He knows Erin's doggy.   Hi Peanut Alright, I'm going to   Erin, are we all spotlighted?   Oh, good. I'm going to also   show. Here's a little Findis   doggy. Fend us, can you say   hello? No And this is like I'm   sleeping right now. I'm   sleeping. And this is Pogo.   Yay. So you know we've talked   about actually having, thank   you, Erin. Hi, Pogo. Um we   talked about having like the   show and tell animal day or   stuffies day in here and we've   kind of done a little bit of it   during some of our cocktail   parties or our tea parties but   anybody who wants to pull up   their animal in this next round   of singing whether it's live   and oh yeah, Dory's like, look,   I already have my animal. He   showed up. There's Ollie. Um   yeah, feel free to pull your   animals up and we'll focus on   the screens that have animals   in them when we're singing   through this next part. So, if   we couldn't make Angela cry all   in full by our singing faces,   maybe she'll cry from all of   our beautiful young ones. So,   Angela, how would you feel   about singing through once   more? Do you have anything else   you want to say about stuff you   have coming up before we sing?   I just want to say that you   know before we started, we had   the opportunity to all share   our dogs and talk about these   beautiful rescue animals that   we have and and how I know from   the behavior that that Peanut   had when I first got her, she   knows the dark. She was afraid   of everything. She was afraid   to walk through a door. She she   was afraid to eat. You know,   I've had her almost seven years   and to this day, if someone   raises up a piece of newspaper,   she cowers tries to make   herself as small as she can. Um   and and over these years that   I've had her, I've had the   opportunity to witness her   bloom into the most beautiful,   sweet, loving, caregiving   creature that I could ever have   asked for to be a partner on   this journey and to into these   this darkness that I've gone.   Um and it's just such a   beautiful testimony of the   power of love. Oh look at them   all. And And how love changes   us? You know? Here we are.   Trying to as humans you know we   try so hard to to hide hide our   our feelings and and we don't   we don't really allow ourselves   to be quite as as an open book   as our dogs are but boy you   watch their behavior and it's   so obvious that oh look at the   cow. So obvious that all of us   are are you know we're all   rescues. And we all need love.   So beautiful. Angela. Thank   you. I love I love that. You   said that earlier. We're all   rescues. And I thought that was   actually just a really   beautiful way of thinking about   it. Right? Think of all the   times that we have relied on.   Um other folks to rescue us or   you know found communities we   didn't know existed. Like the   Daily Antidote Song as a place   that can rescue us, hold us up   in some way. I absolutely love   that. These all these animals   are great, aren't they? That   that cow by the way sings along   every and on good days, you can   see I'm smiling. Wow.  Uh so, how would you feel about   singing, Oh, Look at Kirsten's   sleeping puppy. Oh, and   Sandy's, hello. Oh, look at all   these beauties. Oh, I love   this. Um so, alright. Angela,   how would you feel about   singing it once more so we can   sort of revel in that darkness   once more? Absolutely. Yes.   Thank you.  Here we go.  to know the dark or  to go in the dark with the   light  of taco without  and find that the darkness too   blossoms and   travel  by dark feet and dark   wings  though my soul may set in   darkness eyes in perfect  exquisite journey today and I'm   not sure if you can see on your   screen, Angela. We just had   Darla who is actually a therapy   dog singing along with us and   lots of other animals and what   I was super loving about that,   what was it? Well, there's a   few new people in the room   today and they caught right on.   So, welcome to the Daily   Antidote song. Y'all fit right   into. Thank you so much.   Angela, we really can't wait to   with you again and so Angela   and I were crafting some little   schemes behind the scenes of   things we'll do next and we   can't wait to have you back   Angela. Thank you. Thank you so   much. I'm such I'm so honored   to be here. Thank you. Um let's   see. I can't think of any   announcements that I should   have maybe thought of before.   So, I can say don't forget   January 2-one, we'll have our   monthly community sing so make   sure you stick around for that   or don't stick around because   it's actually, you know, 20   some odd days away but Oh, my   math. It's more like 15 days   away. Never mind. Okay, come   back for the January 21   community and definitely keep   coming all month long. We're   singing with new folks all   month long and the great thing   about new folks is that then   they become good old regulars   in the months after that. So,   please do join us and meet all   of our new folks as they come   into our community and so if   you haven't already seen it,   Carol in Connecticut who made   our ridiculously amazing   spreadsheet has also now made a   ridiculously amazing crossword   puzzle and a word search. And   all I can say is you gotta do   them to figure out who's in   them. So yeah. We're going to   post the answers. Um I think I   said like Sunday or Monday. Um   so make sure you get it in   before then so you don't   accidentally see the answers.   And I can't remember if there's   anything else. Erin did I have   anything else I needed to say?   Well okay like can you always   thank you donate and we're   pleased to say that we made our   match. Um so thanks to   everybody who we'll make some   more announcements about that   as we start tabulating things   moving forward but thanks   everybody. There was a lot of   really generous giving and it   is a 1000% what's going to   keep, get it, 1 1000% because   of the thousand days. What's   going to keep us going? So,   thank you, thank you, thank   you, everybody. Um I think   we're ready for goodbyes unless   Aaron, I'm sorry. Did you think   of anything that I didn't say?   No. Okay. Alright. I want to   thank everybody again for being   here. Let's all give it up one   more time for Angela Gabriel,   Bloomington, Indiana. Uh   wishing you all the best in   your journey forward and can't   wait to see you again. And   thanks to everybody out there   on Facebook Live for joining us   today. It's always great to see   you and of course thanks to   everybody in the room. Erin,   thank you for being a genius on   the tech as well as a genius   and so many other things. And   Phil and the gang in Newcastle   UK, thank you Arlene and Stormy   Berkley. Thank you with your   Manatee. Lovely Cathy in   Virginia."}]