Why You Feel Broken (And How to Fix It)
Gabby
[{'start': '0.240', 'end': '3.360', 'text': 'Your life is going to be so much better'}, {'start': '1.920', 'end': '6.319', 'text': 'when you understand how your nervous'}, {'start': '3.360', 'end': '9.040', 'text': 'system works. It is so much easier to be'}, {'start': '6.319', 'end': '11.599', 'text': 'calm and confident and successful and'}, {'start': '9.040', 'end': '13.040', 'text': 'just generally happy when you actually'}, {'start': '11.599', 'end': '15.440', 'text': 'know how to work with your nervous'}, {'start': '13.040', 'end': '16.720', 'text': 'system rather than working against it. I'}, {'start': '15.440', 'end': '18.160', 'text': "think out of everything that I've ever"}, {'start': '16.720', 'end': '20.080', 'text': 'learned related to mental health, this'}, {'start': '18.160', 'end': '22.640', 'text': 'has had the most profoundly positive'}, {'start': '20.080', 'end': '24.720', 'text': 'impact on me and I am so excited to'}, {'start': '22.640', 'end': '25.680', 'text': "share it with you guys. I'm Gabby. I'm a"}, {'start': '24.720', 'end': '28.240', 'text': 'licensed trauma and attachment'}, {'start': '25.680', 'end': '30.480', 'text': 'therapist, but this is not therapy and I'}, {'start': '28.240', 'end': '31.599', 'text': 'am not your therapist. Unless I am, in'}, {'start': '30.480', 'end': '32.960', 'text': 'which case you already know this. You'}, {'start': '31.599', 'end': '34.800', 'text': "don't need to watch this video. I am"}, {'start': '32.960', 'end': '36.480', 'text': 'just sharing some ideas that have helped'}, {'start': '34.800', 'end': '38.480', 'text': 'me and have helped a lot of the men that'}, {'start': '36.480', 'end': '40.800', 'text': "I've worked with. Nothing that I say is"}, {'start': '38.480', 'end': '42.239', 'text': 'therapeutic advice or a substitute for'}, {'start': '40.800', 'end': '43.840', 'text': "professional help. We're going to start"}, {'start': '42.239', 'end': '45.680', 'text': "off with some basic anatomy and we're"}, {'start': '43.840', 'end': '47.200', 'text': 'going to get very simplified here. This'}, {'start': '45.680', 'end': '49.120', 'text': 'is not going to be a perfect biology'}, {'start': '47.200', 'end': '51.200', 'text': "lesson. That's not the point. I just"}, {'start': '49.120', 'end': '53.360', 'text': 'want you to understand the mechanics of'}, {'start': '51.200', 'end': '55.280', 'text': 'how this system works so that you can'}, {'start': '53.360', 'end': '57.680', 'text': 'work with it. This is your nervous'}, {'start': '55.280', 'end': '60.480', 'text': 'system. One of its main jobs is to'}, {'start': '57.680', 'end': '62.640', 'text': 'constantly be scanning for danger and to'}, {'start': '60.480', 'end': '64.559', 'text': 'respond to it automatically. The nervous'}, {'start': '62.640', 'end': '66.320', 'text': "system includes this little area that's"}, {'start': '64.559', 'end': '68.320', 'text': "deep in your brain. It's the structure"}, {'start': '66.320', 'end': '70.400', 'text': 'that is sometimes called the reptile'}, {'start': '68.320', 'end': '72.960', 'text': "brain and it's the oldest part of our"}, {'start': '70.400', 'end': '75.600', 'text': 'brain evolutionarily speaking and it has'}, {'start': '72.960', 'end': '77.280', 'text': 'one job which is to keep you alive. At'}, {'start': '75.600', 'end': '79.439', 'text': 'the center of that system is your'}, {'start': '77.280', 'end': '81.360', 'text': "amygdala. And this is like your brain's"}, {'start': '79.439', 'end': '83.439', 'text': 'threat detector. We want to think of'}, {'start': '81.360', 'end': '84.720', 'text': 'this like a smoke alarm. A smoke alarm'}, {'start': '83.439', 'end': '86.960', 'text': 'is going to go off the second that it'}, {'start': '84.720', 'end': '88.799', 'text': "senses smoke. It doesn't stop to wait to"}, {'start': '86.960', 'end': '90.799', 'text': "see if somebody's burning toast or if"}, {'start': '88.799', 'end': '92.880', 'text': "there's an actual fire. It just goes"}, {'start': '90.799', 'end': '95.200', 'text': "off. And that's the same thing that the"}, {'start': '92.880', 'end': '97.280', 'text': 'amydala does. So if the amydala senses'}, {'start': '95.200', 'end': '98.880', 'text': "danger, whether it's real or perceived,"}, {'start': '97.280', 'end': '100.640', 'text': "it's going to send out that alarm. So"}, {'start': '98.880', 'end': '102.560', 'text': "after our amydala detects that there's"}, {'start': '100.640', 'end': '105.119', 'text': 'danger, it communicates that information'}, {'start': '102.560', 'end': '107.360', 'text': 'to our body through the vagus nerve,'}, {'start': '105.119', 'end': '110.000', 'text': 'which is our main communication channel.'}, {'start': '107.360', 'end': '112.159', 'text': 'The vagus nerve is so cool. It runs from'}, {'start': '110.000', 'end': '114.799', 'text': 'the brain stem all the way down through'}, {'start': '112.159', 'end': '117.520', 'text': 'our chest into our abdomen. Kind of like'}, {'start': '114.799', 'end': '119.360', 'text': 'just our general thorax area is how I'}, {'start': '117.520', 'end': '121.280', 'text': 'think of it. And it communicates to our'}, {'start': '119.360', 'end': '122.560', 'text': "body about whether or not we're safe."}, {'start': '121.280', 'end': '126.119', 'text': 'This is a good way to see nervous'}, {'start': '122.560', 'end': '126.119', 'text': 'systems in action.'}, {'start': '127.920', 'end': '131.200', 'text': 'So what just happened there is he'}, {'start': '129.920', 'end': '132.640', 'text': 'obviously in his conscious brain'}, {'start': '131.200', 'end': '133.840', 'text': "understood that he was safe. He's like"}, {'start': '132.640', 'end': '135.760', 'text': "in the living room. His mom's reading"}, {'start': '133.840', 'end': '138.080', 'text': 'him a book. But what happened is that'}, {'start': '135.760', 'end': '140.000', 'text': 'noise was so loud and unexpected that it'}, {'start': '138.080', 'end': '142.239', 'text': 'bypassed his conscious brain and his'}, {'start': '140.000', 'end': '144.160', 'text': 'amygdala detected that as a threat and'}, {'start': '142.239', 'end': '147.040', 'text': 'mobilized his body. We can see him'}, {'start': '144.160', 'end': '149.120', 'text': 'shaking as well as screaming and that is'}, {'start': '147.040', 'end': '151.520', 'text': 'just that automatic response. There'}, {'start': '149.120', 'end': '153.040', 'text': "wasn't actual danger there. So like in"}, {'start': '151.520', 'end': '154.720', 'text': 'this metaphor it was like toast was'}, {'start': '153.040', 'end': '155.840', 'text': "being burned. But that doesn't matter."}, {'start': '154.720', 'end': '157.360', 'text': "It's not only going to go off when"}, {'start': '155.840', 'end': '158.319', 'text': "there's an actual threat. It's also"}, {'start': '157.360', 'end': '160.160', 'text': "going to go off when there's a"}, {'start': '158.319', 'end': '162.480', 'text': 'perception of threat because it makes'}, {'start': '160.160', 'end': '164.879', 'text': 'way more sense for it to overreact and'}, {'start': '162.480', 'end': '166.640', 'text': 'keep you alive than for it to underreact'}, {'start': '164.879', 'end': '168.720', 'text': 'and put you in imminent danger.'}, {'start': '166.640', 'end': '170.319', 'text': 'According to polyagal theory, there are'}, {'start': '168.720', 'end': '172.319', 'text': 'really three nervous system states that'}, {'start': '170.319', 'end': '173.840', 'text': 'we want to be aware of. The first is'}, {'start': '172.319', 'end': '176.400', 'text': 'what we call the vententral veagal'}, {'start': '173.840', 'end': '178.160', 'text': 'state. This is where you are when life'}, {'start': '176.400', 'end': '180.560', 'text': "just feels really good and there's no"}, {'start': '178.160', 'end': '182.319', 'text': "threat, there's no chaos. You've eaten,"}, {'start': '180.560', 'end': '183.440', 'text': "you've slept, if you're around people,"}, {'start': '182.319', 'end': '185.599', 'text': 'there are people that you really feel'}, {'start': '183.440', 'end': '188.080', 'text': 'comfortable with and trust, your nervous'}, {'start': '185.599', 'end': '189.680', 'text': 'system is totally calm. I just call this'}, {'start': '188.080', 'end': '191.599', 'text': 'being in the green for shortorthhand. I'}, {'start': '189.680', 'end': '194.159', 'text': "think it's easier. Um, some people call"}, {'start': '191.599', 'end': '196.400', 'text': 'this the rest and digest state. The way'}, {'start': '194.159', 'end': '198.159', 'text': 'that our body functions changes'}, {'start': '196.400', 'end': '200.000', 'text': 'depending on which nervous system state'}, {'start': '198.159', 'end': '201.599', 'text': "that we're in. So, when we're in the"}, {'start': '200.000', 'end': '203.680', 'text': 'green, um, pause if you want to read'}, {'start': '201.599', 'end': '205.360', 'text': 'these, your digestion is working really'}, {'start': '203.680', 'end': '207.280', 'text': "well. You're breathing deeply. Your"}, {'start': '205.360', 'end': '209.360', 'text': 'heart rate is regulated. And most'}, {'start': '207.280', 'end': '211.680', 'text': 'importantly, your prefrontal cortex is'}, {'start': '209.360', 'end': '214.319', 'text': 'fully online. That is the part of your'}, {'start': '211.680', 'end': '217.159', 'text': 'brain that is responsible for clear,'}, {'start': '214.319', 'end': '219.920', 'text': 'logical thinking, problem solving,'}, {'start': '217.159', 'end': '222.080', 'text': 'empathy, connection, being present and'}, {'start': '219.920', 'end': '223.840', 'text': 'in the moment. Our body functions really'}, {'start': '222.080', 'end': '226.560', 'text': "well. When we're in this state, we are"}, {'start': '223.840', 'end': '228.000', 'text': 'focused on living, not surviving. But'}, {'start': '226.560', 'end': '229.920', 'text': 'the second that your brain senses'}, {'start': '228.000', 'end': '231.920', 'text': "danger, whether it's real or just"}, {'start': '229.920', 'end': '233.920', 'text': 'perceived, it flips out of that'}, {'start': '231.920', 'end': '236.159', 'text': 'regulated green state and into a'}, {'start': '233.920', 'end': '238.400', 'text': 'survival state, instead of letting your'}, {'start': '236.159', 'end': '240.000', 'text': 'prefrontal cortex stay in charge, which'}, {'start': '238.400', 'end': '241.439', 'text': 'once again is the part that helps you'}, {'start': '240.000', 'end': '243.840', 'text': 'think clearly and connect with others'}, {'start': '241.439', 'end': '246.480', 'text': 'and stay calm, it just hands the wheel'}, {'start': '243.840', 'end': '248.799', 'text': 'over to the amygdala. The amygdala does'}, {'start': '246.480', 'end': '251.519', 'text': 'not care about being reasonable or'}, {'start': '248.799', 'end': '253.360', 'text': 'relational. It cares about not dying. So'}, {'start': '251.519', 'end': '255.599', 'text': 'when that happens, your body immediately'}, {'start': '253.360', 'end': '257.759', 'text': 'starts assessing that situation to say,'}, {'start': '255.599', 'end': '260.639', 'text': 'is this something that I can survive or'}, {'start': '257.759', 'end': '262.720', 'text': 'am I probably going to die? And if your'}, {'start': '260.639', 'end': '264.720', 'text': 'body thinks that you might survive, it'}, {'start': '262.720', 'end': '267.759', 'text': 'flips into what we call the sympathetic'}, {'start': '264.720', 'end': '269.199', 'text': 'state, also known as fight or flight.'}, {'start': '267.759', 'end': '271.280', 'text': "We're going to call this being in the"}, {'start': '269.199', 'end': '274.000', 'text': "yellow. When we're in the yellow, our"}, {'start': '271.280', 'end': '275.840', 'text': 'amygdala is saying, "Okay, I think I can'}, {'start': '274.000', 'end': '277.840', 'text': 'get out of this. There is still time.'}, {'start': '275.840', 'end': '280.400', 'text': "There's still energy. I can run. I can"}, {'start': '277.840', 'end': '282.720', 'text': 'fight. I can do something." And that\'s'}, {'start': '280.400', 'end': '284.639', 'text': 'why your system gets so revved up. Your'}, {'start': '282.720', 'end': '287.280', 'text': 'nervous system is giving you everything'}, {'start': '284.639', 'end': '289.199', 'text': "that it's got to help you escape the"}, {'start': '287.280', 'end': '290.720', 'text': 'threat. You can see how our body'}, {'start': '289.199', 'end': '292.639', 'text': 'function changes. Our heart rate'}, {'start': '290.720', 'end': '294.800', 'text': 'increases. So does our blood pressure.'}, {'start': '292.639', 'end': '296.880', 'text': 'Our fuel like glucose becomes more'}, {'start': '294.800', 'end': '299.120', 'text': 'available. We have adrenaline just'}, {'start': '296.880', 'end': '301.600', 'text': 'flooding our system. And at the same'}, {'start': '299.120', 'end': '304.160', 'text': 'time, our digestion is going to slow way'}, {'start': '301.600', 'end': '306.560', 'text': 'down. And so is our immune response.'}, {'start': '304.160', 'end': '308.240', 'text': 'Because who cares about digestion or'}, {'start': '306.560', 'end': '310.080', 'text': 'fighting off a cold when we are being'}, {'start': '308.240', 'end': '311.600', 'text': 'chased by a wild animal? And you can'}, {'start': '310.080', 'end': '313.759', 'text': 'also see that your ability to connect'}, {'start': '311.600', 'end': '315.919', 'text': 'with others decreases because obviously'}, {'start': '313.759', 'end': '317.759', 'text': 'this is no time to make friends. When'}, {'start': '315.919', 'end': '319.840', 'text': 'that alarm goes off, your body kicks'}, {'start': '317.759', 'end': '322.000', 'text': 'into action. Your blood moves from your'}, {'start': '319.840', 'end': '325.199', 'text': 'brain into your muscles. Your breath'}, {'start': '322.000', 'end': '328.960', 'text': 'gets more shallow. Your vision narrows.'}, {'start': '325.199', 'end': '331.680', 'text': 'Your system prepares to fight or to run.'}, {'start': '328.960', 'end': '334.479', 'text': 'You are no longer thinking. You are'}, {'start': '331.680', 'end': '337.440', 'text': 'reacting. Poly Vego calls this a state'}, {'start': '334.479', 'end': '339.440', 'text': 'of high activation, high tension, and'}, {'start': '337.440', 'end': '340.800', 'text': "high energy. And this is what's super"}, {'start': '339.440', 'end': '342.320', 'text': 'interesting because if we look at that'}, {'start': '340.800', 'end': '344.560', 'text': 'chart right here, we can see that this'}, {'start': '342.320', 'end': '347.199', 'text': 'is labeled I can, which implies'}, {'start': '344.560', 'end': '348.479', 'text': 'obviously like I can survive this. Once'}, {'start': '347.199', 'end': '349.840', 'text': "again, if my body thinks I'm going to"}, {'start': '348.479', 'end': '352.000', 'text': "live, it's going to put me into fight or"}, {'start': '349.840', 'end': '354.800', 'text': 'flight. But if the amydala senses the'}, {'start': '352.000', 'end': '357.440', 'text': "threat and says I can't win, I cannot"}, {'start': '354.800', 'end': '360.400', 'text': 'get away. I am trapped. My body is'}, {'start': '357.440', 'end': '362.400', 'text': 'instead going to shift into shutdown.'}, {'start': '360.400', 'end': '364.400', 'text': 'And my system goes, "Okay, I think that'}, {'start': '362.400', 'end': '367.960', 'text': 'what you need to do here is play dead,'}, {'start': '364.400', 'end': '370.560', 'text': "hold still, don't move, don't feel, just"}, {'start': '367.960', 'end': '372.560', 'text': 'survive." That is the freeze or the'}, {'start': '370.560', 'end': '374.479', 'text': "dorsal veagal state. We're just going to"}, {'start': '372.560', 'end': '376.960', 'text': "call that being in the red. But it's the"}, {'start': '374.479', 'end': '378.800', 'text': "freeze or the fawn response. It's what"}, {'start': '376.960', 'end': '381.199', 'text': 'happens when your body does not believe'}, {'start': '378.800', 'end': '383.280', 'text': 'that action is possible anymore. Like'}, {'start': '381.199', 'end': '385.440', 'text': "you're just a sitting duck. When you're"}, {'start': '383.280', 'end': '388.319', 'text': 'in the red, all of your body systems'}, {'start': '385.440', 'end': '390.720', 'text': 'slow way down. Your temperature drops,'}, {'start': '388.319', 'end': '392.639', 'text': 'your digestion stops, your heart rate'}, {'start': '390.720', 'end': '394.560', 'text': 'slows, and your immune system goes'}, {'start': '392.639', 'end': '396.720', 'text': 'offline. Your energy just kind of'}, {'start': '394.560', 'end': '398.880', 'text': 'disappears. You might go numb or feel'}, {'start': '396.720', 'end': '401.120', 'text': 'just totally disconnected or emotionally'}, {'start': '398.880', 'end': '403.919', 'text': 'flat. People usually describe this state'}, {'start': '401.120', 'end': '405.840', 'text': 'as just feeling absolutely nothing,'}, {'start': '403.919', 'end': '408.720', 'text': 'which makes a lot of sense because if'}, {'start': '405.840', 'end': '410.560', 'text': 'you are about to be killed, it your body'}, {'start': '408.720', 'end': '412.800', 'text': 'is trying to protect you from the pain'}, {'start': '410.560', 'end': '415.440', 'text': "of that experience. That's ultimately"}, {'start': '412.800', 'end': '416.960', 'text': 'what being in this state is. This is one'}, {'start': '415.440', 'end': '419.199', 'text': 'of my favorite ways to show people what'}, {'start': '416.960', 'end': '421.360', 'text': 'the freeze response looks like. So, here'}, {'start': '419.199', 'end': '423.680', 'text': 'we have this impala and its brain has'}, {'start': '421.360', 'end': '424.960', 'text': "obviously made the decision that's like,"}, {'start': '423.680', 'end': '426.080', 'text': "okay, we're not going to be able to run"}, {'start': '424.960', 'end': '428.080', 'text': "away from this. We're not going to be"}, {'start': '426.080', 'end': '431.720', 'text': "able to fight. We're going to go into"}, {'start': '428.080', 'end': '434.160', 'text': "the red. We're going to go into the"}, {'start': '431.720', 'end': '436.120', 'text': 'shutdown. And then for some reason, this'}, {'start': '434.160', 'end': '439.280', 'text': 'cheetah'}, {'start': '436.120', 'end': '442.080', 'text': 'leaves and its brain is like, okay, the'}, {'start': '439.280', 'end': '444.280', 'text': 'threat has passed. So, look at its'}, {'start': '442.080', 'end': '446.560', 'text': "belly. You can see it's breathing"}, {'start': '444.280', 'end': '448.560', 'text': "deepening. And if you'll remember,"}, {'start': '446.560', 'end': '450.720', 'text': 'shallow breathing is a staple of being'}, {'start': '448.560', 'end': '453.440', 'text': 'both in the red and in the yellow. So to'}, {'start': '450.720', 'end': '454.960', 'text': "get out of it, that's how our body"}, {'start': '453.440', 'end': '457.120', 'text': 'starts to communicate to the rest of us'}, {'start': '454.960', 'end': '459.199', 'text': "that it's okay. And then we can see that"}, {'start': '457.120', 'end': '461.440', 'text': 'this guy is just like shaking it out'}, {'start': '459.199', 'end': '464.560', 'text': "like it's nervous system. This is how"}, {'start': '461.440', 'end': '467.199', 'text': "it's resetting itself. It shakes itself"}, {'start': '464.560', 'end': '467.199', 'text': 'out of the'}, {'start': '469.880', 'end': '473.919', 'text': "freeze. And then eventually when he's"}, {'start': '472.400', 'end': '476.560', 'text': "all done shaking, he's going to be able"}, {'start': '473.919', 'end': '479.520', 'text': 'to stand up and run away like nothing'}, {'start': '476.560', 'end': '482.080', 'text': "has happened. We don't have that as"}, {'start': '479.520', 'end': '484.960', 'text': "humans. We don't have like an automatic"}, {'start': '482.080', 'end': '486.960', 'text': "thing that unsticks us. So if we're"}, {'start': '484.960', 'end': '489.120', 'text': "stuck and we don't realize it, we can"}, {'start': '486.960', 'end': '491.199', 'text': 'stay stuck. So without even realizing'}, {'start': '489.120', 'end': '493.199', 'text': 'it, you could spend literally years of'}, {'start': '491.199', 'end': '495.520', 'text': 'your life living with a completely'}, {'start': '493.199', 'end': '496.960', 'text': 'disregulated nervous system and you'}, {'start': '495.520', 'end': '498.080', 'text': "don't know what's happening. So, you're"}, {'start': '496.960', 'end': '499.919', 'text': 'just like, "Oh, no. I\'m just like a'}, {'start': '498.080', 'end': '501.840', 'text': "really anxious person. I'm just a really"}, {'start': '499.919', 'end': '503.280', 'text': 'angry person." And you don\'t realize'}, {'start': '501.840', 'end': '505.360', 'text': "that what's happening is your nervous"}, {'start': '503.280', 'end': '506.800', 'text': 'system got stuck. I sometimes see people'}, {'start': '505.360', 'end': '508.800', 'text': "in therapy and I'm like, you've been"}, {'start': '506.800', 'end': '511.199', 'text': 'living in either the yellow or the red'}, {'start': '508.800', 'end': '512.399', 'text': "for like years at a time and you don't"}, {'start': '511.199', 'end': '514.240', 'text': "realize it because you're just like,"}, {'start': '512.399', 'end': '515.680', 'text': '"Oh, I just like have a temper." Or'}, {'start': '514.240', 'end': '517.440', 'text': 'you\'re just like, "I\'m an anxious'}, {'start': '515.680', 'end': '518.880', 'text': 'person." Because at some point, what'}, {'start': '517.440', 'end': '520.959', 'text': 'happened is that your nervous system'}, {'start': '518.880', 'end': '523.440', 'text': 'felt threatened and it got stuck in that'}, {'start': '520.959', 'end': '525.519', 'text': 'state. Maybe you had a tragic life event'}, {'start': '523.440', 'end': '527.600', 'text': 'or you had a really stressful job or you'}, {'start': '525.519', 'end': '529.279', 'text': 'grew up in a house that was chaotic. So'}, {'start': '527.600', 'end': '531.360', 'text': 'what happened is your nervous system was'}, {'start': '529.279', 'end': '533.279', 'text': 'activated for a really long time to try'}, {'start': '531.360', 'end': '535.440', 'text': 'and protect you from that threat and it'}, {'start': '533.279', 'end': '536.880', 'text': 'got stuck. So the problem is actually'}, {'start': '535.440', 'end': '538.399', 'text': 'just that you need to learn how to take'}, {'start': '536.880', 'end': '540.399', 'text': 'care of your nervous system and a lot of'}, {'start': '538.399', 'end': '542.399', 'text': 'these things will go away. This is time'}, {'start': '540.399', 'end': '544.320', 'text': 'for a little interlude. I think that my'}, {'start': '542.399', 'end': '546.560', 'text': 'favorite part of being alive is helping'}, {'start': '544.320', 'end': '548.959', 'text': 'people understand themselves because for'}, {'start': '546.560', 'end': '550.399', 'text': 'so much of my life I really did not'}, {'start': '548.959', 'end': '552.399', 'text': "understand myself and I didn't"}, {'start': '550.399', 'end': '554.640', 'text': 'understand my nervous system and that'}, {'start': '552.399', 'end': '557.519', 'text': 'resulted in me being really reactive and'}, {'start': '554.640', 'end': '559.040', 'text': 'being often depressed and anxious and a'}, {'start': '557.519', 'end': '560.959', 'text': 'lot of the time it felt like I was'}, {'start': '559.040', 'end': '562.720', 'text': 'trapped inside of my negative feelings.'}, {'start': '560.959', 'end': '564.320', 'text': 'So the whole point of this series is to'}, {'start': '562.720', 'end': '566.160', 'text': 'help you start building a map of your'}, {'start': '564.320', 'end': '568.000', 'text': 'nervous system so that you can know how'}, {'start': '566.160', 'end': '570.240', 'text': 'it works really well so that you can'}, {'start': '568.000', 'end': '572.399', 'text': 'increase your understanding of yourself.'}, {'start': '570.240', 'end': '574.560', 'text': "This is the pattern that I've noticed"}, {'start': '572.399', 'end': '576.000', 'text': "just in my work and in my life. It's"}, {'start': '574.560', 'end': '578.160', 'text': "something that I've literally taped to"}, {'start': '576.000', 'end': '580.399', 'text': 'my wall on my bedroom and I brought it'}, {'start': '578.160', 'end': '581.440', 'text': 'here to show you. Um I think in our'}, {'start': '580.399', 'end': '583.760', 'text': 'culture we talk a lot about'}, {'start': '581.440', 'end': '585.839', 'text': 'self-acceptance and self-love and none'}, {'start': '583.760', 'end': '588.240', 'text': 'of that actually means anything unless'}, {'start': '585.839', 'end': '590.000', 'text': 'you understand yourself. If you want to'}, {'start': '588.240', 'end': '591.839', 'text': 'develop a good relationship with'}, {'start': '590.000', 'end': '594.000', 'text': 'yourself, I think that this is the'}, {'start': '591.839', 'end': '596.240', 'text': 'pattern that we need to follow. We need'}, {'start': '594.000', 'end': '599.000', 'text': 'to start with an awareness and then gain'}, {'start': '596.240', 'end': '601.920', 'text': 'an understanding. move to acceptance,'}, {'start': '599.000', 'end': '604.000', 'text': 'appreciation, and then love. This right'}, {'start': '601.920', 'end': '605.279', 'text': "now is we're working on understanding."}, {'start': '604.000', 'end': '607.120', 'text': "I'm going to teach you everything that"}, {'start': '605.279', 'end': '608.800', 'text': 'you need to know in order to become best'}, {'start': '607.120', 'end': '610.080', 'text': 'friends with your nervous system. And'}, {'start': '608.800', 'end': '611.680', 'text': "I'm giving you the full spiel here"}, {'start': '610.080', 'end': '612.800', 'text': 'because if this is clicking, I really'}, {'start': '611.680', 'end': '615.200', 'text': 'would love for you to take this'}, {'start': '612.800', 'end': '617.360', 'text': 'seriously because understanding how my'}, {'start': '615.200', 'end': '619.680', 'text': 'nervous system works has given me such a'}, {'start': '617.360', 'end': '621.519', 'text': "higher quality of life. It's improved my"}, {'start': '619.680', 'end': '623.519', 'text': 'relationships and my self-t talk and my'}, {'start': '621.519', 'end': '626.079', 'text': 'motivation and my ability to focus on'}, {'start': '623.519', 'end': '627.519', 'text': "what matters. There's no chance in hell"}, {'start': '626.079', 'end': '629.200', 'text': "that I'd be able to create a YouTube"}, {'start': '627.519', 'end': '630.959', 'text': "channel if I didn't understand these"}, {'start': '629.200', 'end': '633.040', 'text': "principles. I'm standing here in front"}, {'start': '630.959', 'end': '635.680', 'text': "of my wall that I'm building to connect"}, {'start': '633.040', 'end': '637.760', 'text': 'the concepts and ideas related to the'}, {'start': '635.680', 'end': '640.320', 'text': 'state of men and boys as I review the'}, {'start': '637.760', 'end': '641.920', 'text': 'literature. I believe that these issues'}, {'start': '640.320', 'end': '643.680', 'text': 'need to be understood through the lens'}, {'start': '641.920', 'end': '646.240', 'text': 'of the nervous system and they need to'}, {'start': '643.680', 'end': '648.480', 'text': 'be trauma and attachment informed'}, {'start': '646.240', 'end': '650.560', 'text': 'because that is the only way that we can'}, {'start': '648.480', 'end': '652.320', 'text': 'actually understand the humanity of a'}, {'start': '650.560', 'end': '654.320', 'text': 'group of people outside of what their'}, {'start': '652.320', 'end': '656.240', 'text': 'identity is. I think that in our'}, {'start': '654.320', 'end': '658.480', 'text': "culture, everyone's nervous system right"}, {'start': '656.240', 'end': '660.079', 'text': 'now is incredibly disregulated because'}, {'start': '658.480', 'end': '662.160', 'text': "we first of all don't understand our"}, {'start': '660.079', 'end': '663.600', 'text': 'nervous systems, which means that we'}, {'start': '662.160', 'end': '665.200', 'text': "don't understand how the media that we"}, {'start': '663.600', 'end': '667.680', 'text': 'consume is impacting our nervous'}, {'start': '665.200', 'end': '669.440', 'text': 'systems. Our technology has advanced far'}, {'start': '667.680', 'end': '671.839', 'text': 'more quickly than our nervous systems'}, {'start': '669.440', 'end': '673.360', 'text': 'can. I think that the next step of human'}, {'start': '671.839', 'end': '674.959', 'text': 'evolution is for us to start'}, {'start': '673.360', 'end': '677.040', 'text': 'understanding how our nervous systems'}, {'start': '674.959', 'end': '679.680', 'text': 'work because our nervous system was'}, {'start': '677.040', 'end': '682.800', 'text': 'designed to handle immediate physical'}, {'start': '679.680', 'end': '685.040', 'text': 'threats. It has no idea what to do with'}, {'start': '682.800', 'end': '687.279', 'text': 'threats that it sees on social media or'}, {'start': '685.040', 'end': '689.360', 'text': 'what to do about a Netflix show about a'}, {'start': '687.279', 'end': '690.880', 'text': 'fictional boy who kills someone. I'}, {'start': '689.360', 'end': '692.640', 'text': 'really believe that the more people who'}, {'start': '690.880', 'end': '695.040', 'text': 'understand these concepts, the more we'}, {'start': '692.640', 'end': '697.279', 'text': 'can move forward to reintegrating boys'}, {'start': '695.040', 'end': '699.519', 'text': 'and men into our society rather than'}, {'start': '697.279', 'end': '701.600', 'text': 'continuing to push them out because'}, {'start': '699.519', 'end': '703.600', 'text': "we've been taught to see them as the"}, {'start': '701.600', 'end': '704.800', 'text': 'source of our oppression. I completely'}, {'start': '703.600', 'end': '706.399', 'text': 'recognize that whatever is happening'}, {'start': '704.800', 'end': '708.320', 'text': 'with boys and men right now is occurring'}, {'start': '706.399', 'end': '710.160', 'text': 'at a systems level. But at the same'}, {'start': '708.320', 'end': '711.600', 'text': "time, I don't think we can only approach"}, {'start': '710.160', 'end': '713.680', 'text': 'things from a systemic level'}, {'start': '711.600', 'end': '715.279', 'text': 'intervention. I think we also need to'}, {'start': '713.680', 'end': '717.120', 'text': 'approach things from an individual'}, {'start': '715.279', 'end': '719.040', 'text': 'level. And I think that the most'}, {'start': '717.120', 'end': '720.560', 'text': 'powerful thing that the individual can'}, {'start': '719.040', 'end': '722.880', 'text': 'do is learn how to regulate their'}, {'start': '720.560', 'end': '724.800', 'text': 'nervous system because regulation is'}, {'start': '722.880', 'end': '726.560', 'text': "contagious. When you're around somebody"}, {'start': '724.800', 'end': '728.880', 'text': "who's regulated, it's a lot easier to"}, {'start': '726.560', 'end': '730.240', 'text': 'stay regulated. So, when you do this'}, {'start': '728.880', 'end': '732.320', 'text': "work for yourself, it's going to"}, {'start': '730.240', 'end': '735.839', 'text': 'positively impact everyone around you.'}, {'start': '732.320', 'end': '737.600', 'text': 'So, I am very committed in helping you'}, {'start': '735.839', 'end': '739.760', 'text': 'understand your nervous system and'}, {'start': '737.600', 'end': '741.360', 'text': 'helping you learn how to regulate it and'}, {'start': '739.760', 'end': '742.800', 'text': 'giving you all of that information that'}, {'start': '741.360', 'end': '744.320', 'text': 'you need. Today, we just kind of went'}, {'start': '742.800', 'end': '745.920', 'text': 'over basics, but now that you have this'}, {'start': '744.320', 'end': '748.240', 'text': "understanding, we're going to be able to"}, {'start': '745.920', 'end': '749.839', 'text': "apply this to your own life and it's"}, {'start': '748.240', 'end': '751.360', 'text': "going to be really awesome. I'm super"}, {'start': '749.839', 'end': '753.279', 'text': 'excited. I really appreciate you'}, {'start': '751.360', 'end': '755.040', 'text': "watching and I hope that my sound wasn't"}, {'start': '753.279', 'end': '759.040', 'text': 'messed up this time like it was last'}, {'start': '755.040', 'end': '759.040', 'text': "time. and I'll talk to you in the next"}]