Black Holes | A Short Film by Meat Dept.
MAGNETFILM
[{'start': '38.440', 'end': '40.880', 'text': 'As the launch for the first-ever mission to Mars nears,'}, {'start': '40.880', 'end': '42.239', 'text': 'the Space Center organizes'}, {'start': '42.240', 'end': '44.260', 'text': 'cocktail parties for us astronauts.'}, {'start': '44.260', 'end': '45.560', 'text': 'And as Chief Commander'}, {'start': '45.580', 'end': '47.580', 'text': 'I am required to attend.'}, {'start': '47.580', 'end': '50.400', 'text': 'Occasionally we run into an old acquaintance or two.'}, {'start': '50.400', 'end': '51.840', 'text': 'Who the hell are you?'}, {'start': '54.780', 'end': '55.880', 'text': 'So there I was'}, {'start': '55.880', 'end': '57.220', 'text': 'pressurization to the roof, right?'}, {'start': '57.360', 'end': '59.140', 'text': 'And the widget hits the metrics component!'}, {'start': '59.240', 'end': '62.520', 'text': 'You’re hilarious. I must introduce you to Daddy'}, {'start': '62.520', 'end': '64.380', 'text': 'You also run the risk of bumping into people'}, {'start': '64.380', 'end': '64.880', 'text': 'you’d rather forget.'}, {'start': '64.880', 'end': '65.720', 'text': 'Hello Dave.'}, {'start': '65.720', 'end': '67.160', 'text': 'You know each other?'}, {'start': '67.160', 'end': '68.580', 'text': 'Professor.'}, {'start': '68.580', 'end': '71.940', 'text': "I hadn't seen professor fingers since my last training medical"}, {'start': '71.940', 'end': '73.020', 'text': 'and until tonight'}, {'start': '73.020', 'end': '75.400', 'text': 'I had no intention of ever seeing him again.'}, {'start': '75.400', 'end': '76.880', 'text': 'Assume the position Dave.'}, {'start': '76.880', 'end': '78.580', 'text': 'I’m going to study your anus'}, {'start': '78.580', 'end': '79.960', 'text': 'so you can go study Mars'}, {'start': '86.760', 'end': '89.080', 'text': 'Congratulations Dave, you are now an Astronaut.'}, {'start': '89.080', 'end': '90.800', 'text': 'Bon voyage!'}, {'start': '90.800', 'end': '91.300', 'text': 'Nice seeing you.'}, {'start': '91.300', 'end': '92.340', 'text': 'Bon voyage.'}, {'start': '92.340', 'end': '93.700', 'text': 'Yeah nice seeing you.'}, {'start': '93.740', 'end': '94.620', 'text': 'Leaving already?'}, {'start': '94.620', 'end': '95.700', 'text': 'Yes.'}, {'start': '96.560', 'end': '98.660', 'text': 'It was time to prepare for Mars Premium.'}, {'start': '98.660', 'end': '100.340', 'text': 'Space travel involves intense thought'}, {'start': '100.340', 'end': '102.140', 'text': 'and a well-crafted plan of action.'}, {'start': '102.140', 'end': '105.400', 'text': "For example, the shopping list down in Youston's office"}, {'start': '111.340', 'end': '112.540', 'text': 'Come in.'}, {'start': '114.060', 'end': '115.560', 'text': 'It’s all here:'}, {'start': '115.560', 'end': '117.580', 'text': 'pasta, chips, coke, whiskey, sausage, fries,'}, {'start': '117.580', 'end': '119.460', 'text': 'a bottle of Downy. And for desert'}, {'start': '119.460', 'end': '121.260', 'text': 'My flan!'}, {'start': '123.740', 'end': '124.440', 'text': 'Come now Dave.'}, {'start': '124.440', 'end': '127.500', 'text': 'You know why flan is not allowed in a zero gravity environment.'}, {'start': '127.500', 'end': '129.320', 'text': 'The molecular structure will liquefied'}, {'start': '129.320', 'end': '131.040', 'text': 'Nope! We replaced it with'}, {'start': '131.040', 'end': '131.540', 'text': 'a melon.'}, {'start': '131.540', 'end': '132.520', 'text': 'A melon?'}, {'start': '132.520', 'end': '134.200', 'text': 'But they’re not in season.'}, {'start': '134.200', 'end': '136.320', 'text': 'We genetically modified it.'}, {'start': '136.320', 'end': '137.080', 'text': 'It its seedless.'}, {'start': '137.080', 'end': '138.120', 'text': 'Seedless?'}, {'start': '140.300', 'end': '141.360', 'text': 'Goodbye Dave.'}, {'start': '141.380', 'end': '142.520', 'text': 'Goodbye Youston'}, {'start': '145.380', 'end': '146.980', 'text': 'I’d heard about nervous breakdowns'}, {'start': '146.980', 'end': '148.460', 'text': 'due to flan depressurization,'}, {'start': '148.460', 'end': '150.280', 'text': 'but the fact that Youston would lump me'}, {'start': '150.280', 'end': '152.300', 'text': 'in the same categories as those intergalactic amateurs'}, {'start': '152.300', 'end': '154.820', 'text': 'was both hurtful and suspicious.'}, {'start': '154.820', 'end': '157.620', 'text': 'I became wary of the melon.'}, {'start': '157.640', 'end': '159.100', 'text': 'Seedless?'}, {'start': '159.100', 'end': '161.620', 'text': 'If it had no parents, how did it get here?'}, {'start': '161.620', 'end': '164.380', 'text': 'If it wasn’t born, then it never actually has lived.'}, {'start': '164.380', 'end': '166.520', 'text': 'And if it has never lived,'}, {'start': '166.520', 'end': '168.620', 'text': 'well, I’ll refuse to travel with a dead melon.'}, {'start': '168.620', 'end': '171.920', 'text': 'I thought it wise to ask for additional analysis.'}, {'start': '175.960', 'end': '177.160', 'text': 'I want a battery of tests done.'}, {'start': '177.160', 'end': '178.400', 'text': 'Do you understand?'}, {'start': '178.400', 'end': '179.820', 'text': 'Everything!'}, {'start': '193.460', 'end': '195.720', 'text': 'Professor! I’m picking up signal!'}, {'start': '195.720', 'end': '197.020', 'text': 'Then, give it a pencil.'}, {'start': '198.780', 'end': '201.540', 'text': 'This melon claims to be the reincarnation of'}, {'start': '203.180', 'end': '205.460', 'text': 'a fashion designer.'}, {'start': '216.480', 'end': '216.980', 'text': 'Hello.'}, {'start': '216.980', 'end': '219.360', 'text': 'Youston here, get down here and try on your new spacesuit.'}, {'start': '219.360', 'end': '220.340', 'text': 'But.'}, {'start': '225.480', 'end': '227.420', 'text': 'This melon is simply fascinating,'}, {'start': '227.420', 'end': '229.320', 'text': 'he’s so smart, so cultured.'}, {'start': '229.320', 'end': '231.660', 'text': 'The team is crazy about him.'}, {'start': '233.280', 'end': '235.180', 'text': 'The purity of the lines.'}, {'start': '235.180', 'end': '238.000', 'text': 'The audacity of the materials.'}, {'start': '238.000', 'end': '239.400', 'text': 'Fantastich!'}, {'start': '239.400', 'end': '241.520', 'text': 'This spacesuit is ridiculous, who designed it?'}, {'start': '241.520', 'end': '244.460', 'text': 'While I was away, the melon had taken control of NASA.'}, {'start': '244.460', 'end': '247.960', 'text': 'I decided to talk to my superior about this.'}, {'start': '250.620', 'end': '251.980', 'text': 'Oh don’t be so obtuse,'}, {'start': '251.980', 'end': '253.860', 'text': 'that suit fits you like a glove.'}, {'start': '253.860', 'end': '255.260', 'text': 'That’s not the problem!'}, {'start': '255.260', 'end': '256.260', 'text': 'And while you are here Dave,'}, {'start': '256.260', 'end': '258.520', 'text': 'I am pleased to introduce you to your new partner.'}, {'start': '260.500', 'end': '262.760', 'text': 'Obviously, the melon was in control.'}, {'start': '262.760', 'end': '265.520', 'text': 'And the vocal synthesizer that enabled him to express himself freely,'}, {'start': '265.520', 'end': '267.800', 'text': "didn't make things easier."}, {'start': '267.800', 'end': '269.220', 'text': 'Hi, guys.'}, {'start': '270.560', 'end': '272.900', 'text': 'Your interior designer sucks.'}, {'start': '272.900', 'end': '274.340', 'text': 'What are you doing here?'}, {'start': '274.340', 'end': '275.720', 'text': 'I’ll have a Cognac,'}, {'start': '275.720', 'end': '276.480', 'text': 'son.'}, {'start': '281.500', 'end': '284.940', 'text': 'He freely imposed his eccentric taste on my rocket ship,'}, {'start': '284.940', 'end': '286.420', 'text': 'my beautiful house.'}, {'start': '286.420', 'end': '288.140', 'text': 'my life.'}, {'start': '288.780', 'end': '290.800', 'text': 'One thought kept me in high spirits.'}, {'start': '290.840', 'end': '293.360', 'text': 'One thing that no astronaut ever escapes.'}, {'start': '293.360', 'end': '295.220', 'text': 'Sorry buddy, we all had to do it.'}, {'start': '295.220', 'end': '296.900', 'text': 'Are you sure?'}, {'start': '297.320', 'end': '298.140', 'text': 'Next.'}, {'start': '298.140', 'end': '299.460', 'text': 'Doctor Finger’s claws.'}, {'start': '323.440', 'end': '324.840', 'text': 'And don’t forget professor,'}, {'start': '324.840', 'end': '327.880', 'text': 'this season it’s all about zebra prints.'}, {'start': '327.880', 'end': '329.520', 'text': 'Thanks for the advice Melon.'}, {'start': '329.520', 'end': '331.400', 'text': 'You should visit more often ma chérie.'}, {'start': '331.400', 'end': '332.420', 'text': 'Dady, I have a life.'}, {'start': '332.420', 'end': '334.360', 'text': "I can't assist you"}, {'start': '334.980', 'end': '336.000', 'text': 'Hey Dave!'}, {'start': '337.920', 'end': '339.520', 'text': 'Let’s go Clara.'}, {'start': '340.880', 'end': '342.000', 'text': 'See ya.'}, {'start': '343.360', 'end': '344.300', 'text': 'Ok.'}, {'start': '345.380', 'end': '346.540', 'text': "You're up Dave."}, {'start': '346.540', 'end': '349.120', 'text': 'But I don’t have an appointment.'}, {'start': '350.300', 'end': '351.420', 'text': 'Dave.'}, {'start': '352.200', 'end': '354.200', 'text': 'A shiver went down my spine.'}, {'start': '354.200', 'end': '357.160', 'text': 'What did that little fruit tell him?'}, {'start': '357.160', 'end': '360.880', 'text': 'Wasn’t the professor sworn to uphold the Hippocratic oath?'}, {'start': '360.880', 'end': '362.120', 'text': 'And Clara,'}, {'start': '362.120', 'end': '364.540', 'text': 'since when she and the melon became so chummy?'}, {'start': '364.540', 'end': '366.280', 'text': 'What caused this sudden complicity?'}, {'start': '366.280', 'end': '367.720', 'text': 'All that tenderness.'}, {'start': '367.720', 'end': '370.440', 'text': 'What was going on?'}, {'start': '559.860', 'end': '561.600', 'text': 'Hello Dave.'}, {'start': '564.640', 'end': '566.160', 'text': 'Life is like a shoe box.'}, {'start': '566.160', 'end': '568.240', 'text': 'You never now what you are going to get'}, {'start': '568.240', 'end': '570.220', 'text': 'until you open it.'}, {'start': '570.240', 'end': '572.300', 'text': 'What are you doing here?'}, {'start': '590.520', 'end': '591.620', 'text': 'Oh god.'}, {'start': '602.800', 'end': '603.700', 'text': 'No'}, {'start': '604.460', 'end': '605.820', 'text': 'No, Jesus, No.'}, {'start': '605.820', 'end': '607.400', 'text': 'Please! Stop!'}, {'start': '609.260', 'end': '610.040', 'text': 'No!'}, {'start': '610.440', 'end': '611.240', 'text': 'No!'}, {'start': '611.720', 'end': '613.460', 'text': 'No!'}, {'start': '617.560', 'end': '620.040', 'text': 'Every sufficiently advanced technology'}, {'start': '620.040', 'end': '623.300', 'text': 'is indistinguishable from magic.'}, {'start': '627.160', 'end': '629.700', 'text': 'Ground Control to Commander Dave. Do you copy?'}, {'start': '633.720', 'end': '636.340', 'text': 'Ground Control to Commander Dave. Do you copy?'}, {'start': '640.160', 'end': '641.140', 'text': 'Melon here'}, {'start': '641.140', 'end': '643.500', 'text': 'I think commander Dave fainted'}, {'start': '644.040', 'end': '645.820', 'text': 'Youston to Melon: where are you?'}, {'start': '645.820', 'end': '647.280', 'text': 'Describe your location.'}, {'start': '648.260', 'end': '650.100', 'text': 'Sector B-21'}, {'start': '650.100', 'end': '652.120', 'text': 'Near Singularity'}, {'start': '652.460', 'end': '654.640', 'text': 'Dave to Houston :'}, {'start': '654.640', 'end': '656.020', 'text': 'I copy.'}, {'start': '656.600', 'end': '657.840', 'text': 'God damnit Dave!'}, {'start': '657.840', 'end': '658.860', 'text': 'You scared the bejesus out of us'}, {'start': '658.860', 'end': '660.060', 'text': 'Are you alright?'}, {'start': '662.080', 'end': '665.920', 'text': 'Do you remember the ending of 2001: A Space Odyssey?'}, {'start': '666.800', 'end': '668.780', 'text': 'The Kubrick movie?'}, {'start': '668.800', 'end': '670.620', 'text': 'Yeah. Why?'}, {'start': '670.660', 'end': '672.280', 'text': 'Well.'}, {'start': '672.280', 'end': '674.380', 'text': 'I think I get it.'}, {'start': '674.520', 'end': '676.460', 'text': 'What did he say?'}, {'start': '677.100', 'end': '679.400', 'text': 'What did you say Dave?'}, {'start': '679.660', 'end': '682.140', 'text': 'The ending, with the creepy geezer,'}, {'start': '682.140', 'end': '684.400', 'text': 'star child and everything.'}, {'start': '684.400', 'end': '686.340', 'text': 'Yeah. I get it now.'}]