Lie Detector | A Short Film by Paul Emerson
MAGNETFILM
[{'start': '4.469', 'end': '6.969', 'text': '(phone rings)'}, {'start': '16.546', 'end': '18.746', 'text': '- So, Mr. Hanson,'}, {'start': '18.746', 'end': '20.545', 'text': 'as you know, we have all\nprospective employees'}, {'start': '20.545', 'end': '24.058', 'text': 'take a lie detector test\nprior to joining our firm.'}, {'start': '24.058', 'end': '25.986', 'text': "So if you don't mind, we're going to begin"}, {'start': '25.986', 'end': '28.314', 'text': 'with a couple of control questions.'}, {'start': '28.314', 'end': '30.466', 'text': '- Should I be hooked up to something?'}, {'start': '30.466', 'end': '31.897', 'text': '- With the old system, yes,'}, {'start': '31.897', 'end': '33.945', 'text': 'but with the new Lie Detector 3000,'}, {'start': '33.945', 'end': '36.602', 'text': "it's programmed to go off\nwhen it hears you tell a lie."}, {'start': '36.602', 'end': '40.547', 'text': 'For example, go ahead\nand tell an obvious lie.'}, {'start': '40.547', 'end': '41.380', 'text': '- Grass is blue.'}, {'start': '41.380', 'end': '42.977', 'text': "(buzzer sounds)\nI'm a tall black man."}, {'start': '42.977', 'end': '45.313', 'text': "(buzzer sounds)\nI've never seen Jersey Shore."}, {'start': '45.313', 'end': '46.146', 'text': '(buzzer sounds)'}, {'start': '46.146', 'end': '47.397', 'text': "I love it, I've never missed one."}, {'start': '47.397', 'end': '49.480', 'text': "- I've heard good things."}, {'start': '50.949', 'end': '52.374', 'text': 'Now go ahead and say\nsomething that is true'}, {'start': '52.374', 'end': '54.853', 'text': 'so we can properly calibrate the machine.'}, {'start': '54.853', 'end': '56.936', 'text': '- I have a 12 inch penis.'}, {'start': '60.134', 'end': '62.278', 'text': "- That's kinda weird.\nIt should have gone off."}, {'start': '62.278', 'end': '63.111', 'text': '- Why?'}, {'start': '63.111', 'end': '64.901', 'text': "- Because there's no way you"}, {'start': '64.901', 'end': '66.341', 'text': '- I have a 12 inch penis.'}, {'start': '66.341', 'end': '67.381', 'text': 'Actually might be 13.'}, {'start': '67.381', 'end': '69.878', 'text': "(buzzer sounds)\nNo? I guess it's 12."}, {'start': '69.878', 'end': '71.078', 'text': '- Wait, seriously?'}, {'start': '71.078', 'end': '71.923', 'text': '(knock on door)\n- Hey Mike,'}, {'start': '71.923', 'end': '73.611', 'text': 'you get a chance to email\nme those mission statements?'}, {'start': '73.611', 'end': '74.652', 'text': '- Uh, yeah, I did it last night.'}, {'start': '74.652', 'end': '76.115', 'text': '(buzzer sounds)\nI did it this morning.'}, {'start': '76.115', 'end': '77.923', 'text': '(buzzer sounds)\nAlright,'}, {'start': '77.923', 'end': '79.123', 'text': "I haven't even started yet."}, {'start': '79.123', 'end': '80.107', 'text': "- Well, Mike, you're the best."}, {'start': '80.107', 'end': '81.437', 'text': '(buzzer sounds)\nYou suck.'}, {'start': '81.437', 'end': '82.587', 'text': "I'll be back at my desk working."}, {'start': '82.587', 'end': '83.420', 'text': '(buzzer sounds)'}, {'start': '83.420', 'end': '86.753', 'text': "I'll be playing Angry Birds on my phone."}, {'start': '89.355', 'end': '90.683', 'text': '- Please state your full name.'}, {'start': '90.683', 'end': '92.587', 'text': '- Dane Christopher Hanson.'}, {'start': '92.587', 'end': '93.947', 'text': '- Is it true that you reside at'}, {'start': '93.947', 'end': '96.043', 'text': '1444 North Sierra Bonita Avenue?'}, {'start': '96.043', 'end': '97.960', 'text': '- Yes. Apartment three.'}, {'start': '99.979', 'end': '100.995', 'text': '- How do you do it, man?'}, {'start': '100.995', 'end': '104.363', 'text': '- Oh, um, when I moved here,\nI went on Westside Rentals.'}, {'start': '104.363', 'end': '106.643', 'text': "- [Mike] No.\n- It's like 80 dollars."}, {'start': '106.643', 'end': '109.085', 'text': '- How do you live with a 12 inch penis?'}, {'start': '109.085', 'end': '110.243', 'text': "I mean, how's that even possible?"}, {'start': '110.243', 'end': '113.157', 'text': "- Okay, uh, I'm getting\na little uncomfortable"}, {'start': '113.157', 'end': '115.452', 'text': "with this line of questioning.\n- [Mike] I'm sorry, I'm sorry."}, {'start': '115.452', 'end': '118.579', 'text': "You're right, I mean,\nit's just that 12 inches."}, {'start': '118.579', 'end': '121.676', 'text': "That is like a freaking beef\nbus, you know what I'm saying?"}, {'start': '121.676', 'end': '124.283', 'text': '- Why are, why are you so\nconcerned about my penis anyhow?'}, {'start': '124.283', 'end': '125.827', 'text': 'I mean, are you gay or something?'}, {'start': '125.827', 'end': '128.355', 'text': '- What? No.'}, {'start': '128.355', 'end': '129.570', 'text': '(buzzer sounds)\nHey,'}, {'start': '129.570', 'end': '131.170', 'text': 'nobody loves pussy more than I do.'}, {'start': '131.170', 'end': '132.602', 'text': '(buzzer sounds)\nAlright,'}, {'start': '132.602', 'end': '135.112', 'text': "I'm a flaming homosexual,\nbut do me a favor."}, {'start': '135.112', 'end': '136.685', 'text': "Don't tell anybody, because nobody knows."}, {'start': '136.685', 'end': '138.955', 'text': '(buzzer sounds)\nEverybody knows.'}, {'start': '138.955', 'end': '139.850', 'text': '- So wait, tell people?'}, {'start': '139.850', 'end': '141.017', 'text': '- No.'}, {'start': '143.505', 'end': '145.015', 'text': 'Have you ever been\nfired from a job before?'}, {'start': '145.015', 'end': '145.848', 'text': '- No.'}, {'start': '145.848', 'end': '147.063', 'text': '(buzzer sounds)\nThree times.'}, {'start': '147.063', 'end': '148.444', 'text': '- Have you ever stolen\nfrom an employer before?'}, {'start': '148.444', 'end': '149.277', 'text': '- No.'}, {'start': '149.277', 'end': '151.552', 'text': '(buzzer sounds)\nAlright. Dammit.'}, {'start': '151.552', 'end': '153.112', 'text': "- How much would you say\nyou've stolen before?"}, {'start': '153.112', 'end': '153.945', 'text': '- 100 dollars.'}, {'start': '153.945', 'end': '154.792', 'text': '(buzzer sounds)\n500 dollars.'}, {'start': '154.792', 'end': '156.160', 'text': "(buzzer sounds)\nSo much I've lost count."}, {'start': '156.160', 'end': '160.690', 'text': '(buzzer sounds)\n44,793 dollars.'}, {'start': '160.690', 'end': '161.680', 'text': "- That's a lot of money, Dane."}, {'start': '161.680', 'end': '164.839', 'text': '- Well, I had cancer.'}, {'start': '164.839', 'end': '168.911', 'text': '(buzzer sounds)\nI bought a boat'}, {'start': '168.911', 'end': '170.578', 'text': 'and named it Cancer.'}, {'start': '172.151', 'end': '173.281', 'text': '- I want to be honest, Dane.'}, {'start': '173.281', 'end': '174.607', 'text': 'This interview is going really well.'}, {'start': '174.607', 'end': '175.440', 'text': '- Yeah?'}, {'start': '175.440', 'end': '176.487', 'text': '(buzzer sounds)\n- No.'}, {'start': '176.487', 'end': '178.631', 'text': "This is the worst interview\nI've ever been a part of."}, {'start': '178.631', 'end': '180.391', 'text': "Normally, you'd be gone."}, {'start': '180.391', 'end': '182.344', 'text': 'However, company policy dictates'}, {'start': '182.344', 'end': '184.207', 'text': 'I ask you one final question.'}, {'start': '184.207', 'end': '185.040', 'text': '- Okay.'}, {'start': '186.167', 'end': '188.407', 'text': '- Would you ever have sex with\na man in order to get a job?'}, {'start': '188.407', 'end': '190.047', 'text': '- No.\n(buzzer sounds)'}, {'start': '190.047', 'end': '191.714', 'text': 'Welcome to the firm.'}, {'start': '196.505', 'end': '199.063', 'text': '(office chatter)'}, {'start': '199.063', 'end': '201.563', 'text': '(phone rings)'}]