简历上面都有，不能看看吗#搞笑 #funny #一人多角
凡子
[{'start': '0.033', 'end': '1.600', 'text': 'How much is a monthly salary'}, {'start': '1.633', 'end': '3.400', 'text': '? If you are a junior college student, 4,000'}, {'start': '3.400', 'end': '5.100', 'text': 'is not 4,000.'}, {'start': '5.533', 'end': '6.933', 'text': 'Are you sending me to beg for food ? Wait for'}, {'start': '7.066', 'end': '8.433', 'text': "me to upgrade to a bachelor's degree ."}, {'start': '8.733', 'end': '9.600', 'text': "Now it's a few thousand"}, {'start': '9.833', 'end': '13.600', 'text': "for a bachelor 's degree."}, {'start': '13.600', 'end': '15.833', 'text': '3,500 is not even a point.'}, {'start': '15.933', 'end': '18.233', 'text': "3,500 is not a point for a bachelor's degree."}, {'start': '18.233', 'end': '19.533', 'text': "Aren't you cheating?"}, {'start': '19.533', 'end': '20.500', 'text': 'Just wait for me'}, {'start': '22.666', 'end': '23.466', 'text': 'to graduate'}, {'start': '25.133', 'end': '26.600', 'text': '. It’s not bad.'}, {'start': '26.733', 'end': '28.433', 'text': '4,500 includes food and accommodation'}, {'start': '28.800', 'end': '30.833', 'text': '. Oh, now you graduate students,'}, {'start': '30.833', 'end': '33.666', 'text': 'the treatment is better than the hustle and'}, {'start': '34.033', 'end': '35.866', 'text': 'bustle of becoming popular.'}, {'start': '36.100', 'end': '38.033', 'text': 'What is my resume? What is my academic qualifications?'}, {'start': '38.200', 'end': '41.733', 'text': 'What is the junior'}, {'start': '43.433', 'end': '44.233', 'text': 'college in the country where Tsinghua University is located'}, {'start': '46.200', 'end': '48.000', 'text': '? Where did I work before?'}, {'start': '48.066', 'end': '49.500', 'text': 'There are dozens of people working for'}, {'start': '49.500', 'end': '50.733', 'text': 'Fortune 500 companies'}, {'start': '50.733', 'end': '51.866', 'text': '. Which company is'}, {'start': '53.100', 'end': '54.633', 'text': "rich ? I'm sorry to be"}, {'start': '57.233', 'end': '58.066', 'text': 'the county magistrate of Shikang.'}, {'start': '58.066', 'end': '59.133', 'text': "I didn't pass the interview."}, {'start': '59.200', 'end': '60.466', 'text': 'The salary is 1,500. I'}, {'start': '61.400', 'end': '63.700', 'text': 'signed directly and will work for a day tomorrow.'}, {'start': '63.900', 'end': '65.833', 'text': 'What academic qualifications do I have on my resume?'}, {'start': '66.066', 'end': '69.600', 'text': 'Is it a junior college'}, {'start': '71.233', 'end': '72.033', 'text': 'in the country where Tsinghua University is located'}, {'start': '74.100', 'end': '75.800', 'text': '? Where did I work before?'}, {'start': '75.866', 'end': '77.300', 'text': 'I have dozens of people working for'}, {'start': '77.300', 'end': '78.533', 'text': 'a Fortune 500 company'}, {'start': '78.533', 'end': '79.666', 'text': ". Which company is Foxconn's magistrate?"}, {'start': '80.933', 'end': '82.433', 'text': 'Sorry to be the county magistrate'}, {'start': '85.033', 'end': '85.866', 'text': '. I want to sign up'}, {'start': '85.866', 'end': '86.933', 'text': 'if I fail the interview'}, {'start': '87.000', 'end': '88.233', 'text': '. The salary is 1,500.'}, {'start': '89.200', 'end': '91.500', 'text': 'I will go to work tomorrow without'}, {'start': '91.700', 'end': '93.333', 'text': 'applying for the teaching salary.'}, {'start': '93.333', 'end': '94.466', 'text': 'You must not sign up. I can join a company'}, {'start': '94.466', 'end': '95.500', 'text': 'any month after graduation. I am not a millionaire. I am a'}, {'start': '95.500', 'end': '98.066', 'text': 'romantic soul who never compromises on ordinary life.'}, {'start': '98.066', 'end': '99.533', 'text': 'I just live a cool life.'}, {'start': '99.700', 'end': '101.266', 'text': 'If I don’t sign up, I will definitely not sign up.'}, {'start': '101.900', 'end': '104.233', 'text': 'How can I submit a resume? No one replied.'}, {'start': '104.433', 'end': '106.633', 'text': 'I am also a teacher.'}, {'start': '106.633', 'end': '107.833', 'text': 'It is so wonderful to be a teacher.'}, {'start': '107.833', 'end': '109.333', 'text': 'I will take the exam in a few days.'}, {'start': '110.400', 'end': '114.300', 'text': 'It was my first time to fight free fighting in Southeast Asia in 1974.'}, {'start': '114.666', 'end': '116.700', 'text': 'You can’t even do this class information statistics table.'}, {'start': '116.700', 'end': '118.133', 'text': 'I am not just starting to learn'}, {'start': '118.133', 'end': '119.333', 'text': '. How about I give it a try?'}, {'start': '119.333', 'end': '121.266', 'text': 'You can see how well our deputy squad leader'}, {'start': '121.266', 'end': '122.333', 'text': 'can do this table.'}, {'start': '122.333', 'end': '123.533', 'text': 'I just happened to know how to click on'}, {'start': '123.633', 'end': '125.433', 'text': 'this and studied it specifically.'}, {'start': '127.900', 'end': '129.600', 'text': "You can't do the PPT in this class."}, {'start': '129.600', 'end': '130.500', 'text': 'Come and do it for me.'}, {'start': '130.500', 'end': '131.600', 'text': "I'm not the squad leader"}, {'start': '131.600', 'end': '132.500', 'text': ", so I'll do it. Let's be"}, {'start': '132.733', 'end': '134.533', 'text': 'the deputy squad leader in this class.'}, {'start': '134.533', 'end': '135.900', 'text': "That can't be done."}, {'start': '138.133', 'end': '139.533', 'text': 'Your class also has a deputy squad leader.'}, {'start': '139.833', 'end': '141.633', 'text': 'I am a squad leader who can do everything. I'}, {'start': '142.066', 'end': '143.000', 'text': "don't want the deputy squad leader"}, {'start': '143.066', 'end': '143.866', 'text': 'to be so capable. What do'}, {'start': '143.866', 'end': '144.933', 'text': 'you want to say ?'}, {'start': '144.933', 'end': '146.233', 'text': 'My squad leader has'}, {'start': '146.466', 'end': '147.866', 'text': 'organizational skills, but I’m familiar with'}, {'start': '147.866', 'end': '149.066', 'text': 'the office software of the deputy squad leader.'}, {'start': '149.066', 'end': '149.900', 'text': 'Hey, deputy squad leader,'}, {'start': '149.933', 'end': '152.066', 'text': 'please count up the mobile phone numbers of the 24th-level students in our college and'}, {'start': '152.200', 'end': '153.433', 'text': 'send them to me tomorrow morning.'}, {'start': '156.233', 'end': '158.500', 'text': 'Longmen Grottoes are so close to us and no one wants to go.'}, {'start': '159.433', 'end': '161.400', 'text': 'Isn’t that what you two are doing in college?'}, {'start': '161.800', 'end': '163.733', 'text': 'Well, I’ll'}, {'start': '163.733', 'end': '165.600', 'text': 'eat Japanese food tomorrow. My auntie has a date'}, {'start': '166.266', 'end': '168.533', 'text': ", aren't you? You are really hungry, you,"}, {'start': '168.800', 'end': '171.033', 'text': 'my love for the hawthorn tree'}, {'start': '171.800', 'end': '174.633', 'text': 'can only be pure with you,'}, {'start': '174.900', 'end': '176.433', 'text': 'I can throw away my'}, {'start': '177.366', 'end': '179.800', 'text': 'person, Qingshan Yingbai, the first'}, {'start': '179.800', 'end': '184.066', 'text': 'year of my life, I borrowed a silver gun to show off my love,'}, {'start': '185.000', 'end': '188.266', 'text': 'I have been drinking since Guanshan,'}, {'start': '188.266', 'end': '190.533', 'text': 'and it has been in my throat for thousands of years'}, {'start': '191.100', 'end': '192.000', 'text': '. More dumplings,'}, {'start': '192.000', 'end': '194.333', 'text': "what do you think you will be worth in this paper's plagiarism check rate,"}, {'start': '194.466', 'end': '197.133', 'text': 'up to 20% I typed it by hand'}, {'start': '197.133', 'end': '198.900', 'text': 'without any pasting or copying'}, {'start': '200.933', 'end': '203.333', 'text': '. How much do you think the plagiarism check rate of your paper will be worth?'}, {'start': '203.700', 'end': '205.433', 'text': 'Anyway, leave it to the teacher.'}, {'start': '208.333', 'end': '211.100', 'text': 'Xiao Gu, what do you think the passing rate of your paper will be? It'}, {'start': '211.200', 'end': '213.400', 'text': 'should not exceed 30%.'}, {'start': '215.633', 'end': '216.800', 'text': 'Then you can take the line and'}, {'start': '217.200', 'end': '218.300', 'text': 'I will revise it for a day.'}, {'start': '218.300', 'end': '219.800', 'text': 'This must have come down. If'}, {'start': '222.366', 'end': '224.400', 'text': 'you try to trick my teacher into signing in backwards again,'}, {'start': '224.400', 'end': '225.600', 'text': "I 'll sew your mouth shut. I'll give"}, {'start': '225.600', 'end': '227.133', 'text': "you two more classes. It's not too much."}, {'start': '227.133', 'end': '228.133', 'text': 'My good monitor, do'}, {'start': '228.733', 'end': '229.900', 'text': "n't be stubborn with me."}, {'start': '229.900', 'end': '231.100', 'text': "I've already signed up for"}, {'start': '232.133', 'end': '233.500', 'text': 'Fenghuo Opera. Princes are'}, {'start': '233.600', 'end': '236.000', 'text': "really low. You're not interested. No"}, {'start': '236.000', 'end': '236.733', 'text': 'instructor came to me.'}, {'start': '236.733', 'end': '238.733', 'text': 'Are the two guides even more lazy than our dormitory leader'}, {'start': '238.733', 'end': '239.866', 'text': 'to go to class?'}, {'start': '240.833', 'end': '241.933', 'text': 'The guide'}, {'start': '241.933', 'end': '243.400', 'text': 'couldn’t remember my parents’ mobile phone numbers even'}, {'start': '243.400', 'end': '244.666', 'text': 'if'}, {'start': '244.700', 'end': '246.200', 'text': 'they asked me. Look at it and remember it again'}, {'start': '246.833', 'end': '248.633', 'text': '. If you don’t want to do it, don’t do it.'}, {'start': '248.633', 'end': '250.400', 'text': 'Our class discipline is down.'}, {'start': '250.433', 'end': '253.300', 'text': 'Let you be the class committee member. I’m really blind.'}, {'start': '253.300', 'end': '255.866', 'text': "And you learn? Committee member Xi can't even finish his own homework."}, {'start': '255.866', 'end': '257.200', 'text': 'What homework can you give me'}, {'start': '257.266', 'end': '259.000', 'text': "to change it? Don't do it"}, {'start': '259.400', 'end': '261.800', 'text': '. Say it. If you two quit, how about I work'}, {'start': '261.800', 'end': '262.800', 'text': 'for another year?'}, {'start': '262.800', 'end': '263.933', 'text': "I'll buy you two milk tea."}, {'start': '263.933', 'end': '265.066', 'text': "I really can't be a school committee member."}, {'start': '265.066', 'end': '266.600', 'text': "I'm already a monitor,"}, {'start': '266.633', 'end': '267.900', 'text': "so I won't do it either"}, {'start': '268.466', 'end': '271.066', 'text': ". Can't be fucking me fucking"}, {'start': '271.666', 'end': '274.100', 'text': 'The seniors recommend a major that doesn’t require mathematics.'}, {'start': '274.100', 'end': '275.333', 'text': 'It must be Chinese language'}, {'start': '275.333', 'end': '276.633', 'text': '. You don’t need to study mathematics'}, {'start': '276.633', 'end': '277.866', 'text': '. You don’t need to study nursing.'}, {'start': '277.866', 'end': '279.066', 'text': 'There are many girls'}, {'start': '279.066', 'end': '280.933', 'text': ', so I ask you if you have a CT or'}, {'start': '280.933', 'end': '282.633', 'text': 'not. Oh'}, {'start': '282.633', 'end': '285.133', 'text': ', it’s a good CT. We in law studies'}, {'start': '285.133', 'end': '287.800', 'text': 'don’t even know what mathematics is . If you don’t study'}, {'start': '288.300', 'end': '290.666', 'text': 'mathematics, it should be difficult to fail the final course'}, {'start': '290.833', 'end': '292.133', 'text': '.'}, {'start': '292.133', 'end': '293.700', 'text': 'There are more public positions'}, {'start': '293.833', 'end': '295.266', 'text': 'in'}, {'start': '295.900', 'end': '297.933', 'text': 'the law school than them.'}, {'start': '297.933', 'end': '299.533', 'text': 'Senior, have you passed the exam?'}, {'start': '300.700', 'end': '302.100', 'text': 'I think we should study e-commerce.'}, {'start': '302.100', 'end': '305.100', 'text': 'It has a future. This Jinmailang tea has a Chinese style design and packaging.'}, {'start': '305.100', 'end': '306.066', 'text': 'It tastes crunchy.'}, {'start': '306.066', 'end': '307.800', 'text': 'The cheese juice is paired with real tea essence.'}, {'start': '307.800', 'end': '309.133', 'text': 'It is comparable to the classic taste.'}, {'start': '309.133', 'end': '310.300', 'text': 'It is also a low-sugar formula.'}, {'start': '310.333', 'end': '311.666', 'text': 'It only costs 3.5 a bottle.'}, {'start': '311.666', 'end': '313.133', 'text': 'I sold it in college for 100,000 orders.'}, {'start': '313.133', 'end': '316.133', 'text': 'It has a future. It tastes so good that I need to sign up for 1 million orders.'}, {'start': '316.133', 'end': '317.600', 'text': 'The sweet watermelon'}, {'start': '317.600', 'end': '319.133', 'text': 'is not sweet and does not cost money.'}, {'start': '319.800', 'end': '321.200', 'text': 'Give me that way'}, {'start': '321.266', 'end': '322.633', 'text': "you're bad. bitch,"}, {'start': '322.733', 'end': '324.800', 'text': 'is my pink collar really only worth 3,000 yuan?'}, {'start': '324.800', 'end': '325.733', 'text': 'Do'}, {'start': '325.733', 'end': '326.733', 'text': "n't listen to what they say"}, {'start': '327.266', 'end': '330.733', 'text': '. Do you'}, {'start': '331.100', 'end': '333.066', 'text': 'know'}, {'start': '333.066', 'end': '336.500', 'text': ', then'}, {'start': '338.100', 'end': '340.133', 'text': 'you are still a'}, {'start': '340.133', 'end': '341.066', 'text': 'second'}, {'start': '341.466', 'end': '343.733', 'text': '-year'}, {'start': '343.733', 'end': '344.900', 'text': 'college student'}, {'start': '346.033', 'end': '347.033', 'text': '?'}, {'start': '347.300', 'end': '349.466', 'text': 'Brother'}, {'start': '349.533', 'end': '352.466', 'text': 'and'}, {'start': '353.033', 'end': '354.400', 'text': ', I slipped'}, {'start': '354.400', 'end': '355.866', 'text': ', I slipped, and'}, {'start': '355.866', 'end': '357.066', 'text': "I'm"}, {'start': '357.066', 'end': '358.633', 'text': 'so happy.'}, {'start': '358.633', 'end': '361.000', 'text': "I'm going to a junior college. I want to go to the same school as Fan"}, {'start': '362.066', 'end': '365.066', 'text': 'and apply for the same major . The majors I chose are all in the same school.'}, {'start': '365.066', 'end': '366.733', 'text': "Wouldn't it be better to go to another major"}, {'start': '366.733', 'end': '369.000', 'text': '? You two can learn from each other.'}, {'start': '369.000', 'end': '371.333', 'text': "My school actually doesn't recommend that you go to school"}, {'start': '371.433', 'end': '372.800', 'text': 'far away from home. Not to mention that'}, {'start': '372.800', 'end': '374.000', 'text': 'the dormitory environment is not'}, {'start': '374.000', 'end': '376.300', 'text': "bad. It's okay. I have been hardworking since I was a child."}, {'start': '376.333', 'end': '377.533', 'text': 'Should I repeat it?'}, {'start': '377.533', 'end': '380.266', 'text': 'This year is 450.'}, {'start': '380.266', 'end': '381.900', 'text': 'Next year will definitely be 985. Next year there will be more people in the college entrance'}, {'start': '381.900', 'end': '383.633', 'text': "examination. It's not easy."}, {'start': '383.800', 'end': '386.933', 'text': "It makes sense. Isn't it easy for me to get this score?"}, {'start': '387.066', 'end': '388.633', 'text': 'You bastard.'}]