I want to see him , but I'm so scared to hear what comes out from his mouth .. I keep telling myself to " be positive " , " be happy " ... Maybe he's just sick of seeing my depressed sad face and hearing me nag . But when I think back to the way he treated me , was there any way to avoid acting that way ? When he was treating me like I was invisible , was it possible for me to not be depressed and confused?I just want to know why all this started and I wish he would just be honest and tell me everything . 
Question: What may be the reason the writer is afraid of what he has to say ?
He might reveal a difficult truth