review: &quot;You run like a boy.&quot; - Lucious tells Ivy, his future bride-to-be, she's a girly-man in, M. Night Shyamalan's crap-fest, &quot;The Village&quot;An abortion of a film, &quot;The Village&quot; is the ripoff movie of 2004 with &quot;Van Helsing&quot; right next to it. These 2 films are playing in every multiplex in hell along with &quot;Signs&quot;, & &quot;Hudson Hawk&quot;, with a complimentary helping of &quot;Howard the Duck&quot; thrown in for good measure (now THAT'S scary!). &quot;The Village&quot; is a scary movie that is made for women (its the type of scary movie that won't induce nightmares. In other words, its NOT scary) & looks like it was filmed on location at the local &quot;Pottery Barn&quot;.&quot;Covington Woods&quot; is home to a small village of peaceful people who have a small problem. They can't leave their village due to &quot;creatures&quot; living in the woods that surround the boundaries beyond the village. When the villagers first settled down into their new home, they made a pact with the &quot;creatures&quot; along the lines of, you leave us alone, we will leave you alone. &quot;The creatures&quot; have other ideas sneaking into the village at night leaving behind dead, mangled, & hairless chihuahuas about the grounds & scaring the villagers witless. When a stabbing occurs, that could prove fatal if not without the proper medication, a young blind girl, who isn't afraid of &quot;the creatures&quot;, is sent to the village across the way to get the proper medication that can heal her future husband.As I watched &quot;The Village&quot;, with roughly 30 other people in the theater, I couldn't believe how bad this film was. The only comedy relief that came throughout the film was when one of my fellow moviegoers promptly stood up during a slow point in the film, declared that this movie, quote - unquote, blows, and then left the theater. What suprised me was that not one of the 29 other people, myself included, didn't disagree with him!The movie is a bit of a bore. I do give credit for some great cinematography but thats it. The cast is lame. Everyone walks thru their roles. Sigourney Weaver is wasted in her role (I was waiting for her to cowboy up, slap her idiot son in the back of the head, and go kill &quot;the creatures&quot; herself). William Hurt reads his lines as if their on cue cards. Joaquin Phoenix looks like he's on some bad valium trip (his character is reminiscent of the Mel Gibson character from &quot;Signs&quot;. Phoenix even looks like a bit like Gibson in some shots).&quot;The creature&quot; is absolutely laughable, being a cross between a pig, & a porcupine with a red riding hood complex (Frank, the bunny from &quot;Donnie Darko&quot;, is more scarier, for God's Sake!). I would be more scared if a car full of clowns showed up in the middle of the woods, than this &quot;creature&quot; chasing me.The so called &quot;gotcha&quot; surprise that happens in every one of Shyamalan's films usually suck. This one is no surprise (when the surprise is revealed, I couldn't help but think if these people missed watching the Democratic Convention and hugging a tree everyday. Maybe they still hug trees, but their was no hugging of trees on screen).Shyamalan's main downfall is that he always has the sense & style to create a suspenseful film but when it comes to the payoff, or the moneyshot he can never deliver (&quot;The Sixth Sense&quot; is the golden exception). Also, the main problem with Shyamalan's film is, after the release of &quot;The Sixth Sense&quot; & with every Shyamalan film there after, audiences know something is going to happen during the final act of the film, so they keep their eyes open for every little detail available thruout the course of the film.&quot;Time&quot; magazine was once quoted as saying that M. Night Shyamalan is the next Steven Spielberg. No way in Hell, buddy. No way. Not even with a Ford Focus full of clowns.
question: Is a good story to the audience?
audiences know something is going to happen during the final act of the film