Has he already done it ? Is he already dead ? I can't swallow when my mind asks this question the first time and the second time it swirls back around ; I am finding it hard to breathe . Then that voice is back telling me that I still have time , that I just have to find him before it is too late . And I have to believe this because , even though it seems unlikely that he would still be alive ; if he is not , there is no hope for the world ... or at least not my world . This conviction that spread through me gives rise to other questions .
What's a possible reason the writer is finding it hard to breathe ?