text:
8:08 PM jim: ALL - I'm ready for your questions, let's get going.
8:10 PM [mariposa] hello everyone.
8:12 PM [faithful] plum how did it go.
8:13 PM [Bluesky] mkdmlc. hey friend, haven't seen you in awhile.
8:13 PM [hepsy] hi lalachrissie - how are you?
8:14 PM [doveseyes] plum...ohhhh wow...I am so sorry...was that the first time something like this happened?
8:14 PM [Bluesky] mkdmlc end of the year stuff?
8:14 PM [lalachrissie] hepsy Hi. I'm ok. Last night the power went out in neighborhood.
8:14 PM [mkdmlc] Bluesky How are you and what's going on with you?
8:15 PM [hepsy] lalachrissie - wow.. how long?
8:15 PM [dogwood] All--I am in terrible shape. got the bomb last night. H left this morning for a month, last night, he asked me what is my plan regarding the separation, I told him that my thought stays the same, I do not want a separation. He got really mad and said that he is suffocating in the house, when he returns in January, he is moving out. I had long talk with him asking why he does not consider reconciliation that will relieve his struggle. Finally , he told me straight that he wants to keep the liberty of multiple relationships besides just Wife. He has found a potential condo, and has transferred some of his account to his name only, etc. Please pray for me, this might be the direction indicating that I need to prepare myself for separation.
8:20 PM jim: dogwood at :15, It's time to get some legal advice.
8:15 PM [faithful] all h just left he dropped off the boys. Is so hard and have to keep myself from holding his hand of asking a dumb question like when is he coming home.
8:15 PM [Bluesky] mkdmlc just heading down the path I didn't want. There is basically no contact anymore with h.
8:15 PM [doveseyes] plum...I tell you...I thought today..can't we schedule crisis/conflict? one at a time..is she still in the home.
8:15 PM [lalachrissie] hepsy I'm not sure when it came back on, went to bed early b/c I was exhausted anyway.
8:16 PM [Bluesky] mkdmlc how about you? Have you heard from h at all?
8:16 PM [plumcrazy] Doveseyes--Yes she is.
8:16 PM [hepsy] dogwood - I am sorry... how are you holding up?
8:17 PM [hepsy] lalachrissie - well last night you said you had been keeping busy and then you signed off -was it due to the power outage?
8:17 PM [mariposa] dogwood: (Hugs). So sorry.
8:17 PM [dogwood] Jim-- please read my latest happening at 6:12; I think I would be the first casualty. Nothing is working here. H told me that he is not MLC; he has made up his mind.
8:22 PM jim: doveseyes at :17, Basically standing means that you are committing yourself to let God work in the marriage, that you are not going to initiate action toward a divorce. So surrendering your husband and marriage to God is crucial to standing.
8:18 PM [Bluesky] Jim, I have a male friend who has been calling me for advice. He knows my situation (h and wife are long time friends) and he is feeling like he wants to leave his wife because he doesn't get any attention from her. I have talked him in to getting counseling. They are close to empty nesters and he is he one struggling. Any advice?
8:23 PM jim: Bluesky at :18, both of you are in a very dangerous situation - it's crucial that he gets counseling from a male counselor.
8:18 PM [faithful] jim h email me back regarding our daughter problems I have been having and do not want to read too much into but he made a comment that hopefully she will learn that there are consequences to her actions.
8:24 PM jim: faithful at :18, your daughter's situation is a normal teenage type of problem - treat it that way.
8:18 PM [lalachrissie] hepsy yes, was forced off. we were busy all day yesterday. Drove for over an hour to take a train for an hour to cut down a tree with friends. It was really fun.
8:18 PM [hepsy] dogwood - I hope you are trying to stay calm and not panic..
8:19 PM [faithful] jim also he said we instead of you referring to raising our kids. In the past he has said you will do a good job raising the boys now he is we.
8:19 PM [mkdmlc] jim My h is in the withdrawal and depression stage and have not heard from him since d. I want to send a Xmas card to him and his family with a pic of me with Santa. Is that appropriate?
8:25 PM jim: mkdmlc at :19, for now - avoid the Christmas card unless it is extremely funny.
8:19 PM [faithful] dogwood I am so sorry for your pain.
8:19 PM [doveseyes] jim..my h also called and said he wanted to d and work something out after Christmas so he could be with kids. Nothing is stopping h now from being with kids. Only his busy dating schedule..sos..
8:26 PM jim: doveseyes at :19, stall the divorce as much as possible.
8:20 PM [faithful] doveseyes do any of your kids want to see him?
8:21 PM [hepsy] lalachrissie - that's nice..It is good to stay busy and do fun things. It is also good to laugh - something we forget to do when in crisis like this.
8:22 PM [hepsy] dogwood- I know.. in the beginning I felt the same - too sad here with things the way they are.. but actually now, it is not as bad..I am used to it and am finally enjoying my alone time. At least when h is at work I don't have to walk on eggshells.
8:23 PM [dogwood] Jim-- Thanks, H got angry when I try to ask for more than 50%; he gets in rage and saying if I try to stop him and keep him by manipulating and asking for more share, he will stay but will certainly make it very very miserable for me. He wants to just divide between us and keep us legally married. do you think that is a good idea? or, should I push for legal?
8:23 PM [Bluesky] hepsy I enjoy my alone time too.
8:24 PM [hepsy] bluesky - since you got through Thanksgiving - what will you plans before Christmas?
8:24 PM [Bluesky] hepsy just my kids and me, I guess.
8:26 PM [mkdmlc] jim thanks. Card is cute but not funny. Hey, that is a good laugh for me!
8:26 PM [mariposa] dogwood: Is he talking about just separation or divorce?
8:26 PM [lalachrissie] jim- last week h accidently cancelled my visa card & ordered me a new one & I asked him the day before if he would let me know when he deposited money for my bills. I assumed that he would mail me the new card, b/c he said he tried to have the bank mail it to me but they wouldn't. today I received an email saying he has my card and that he should be depositing money tomorrow or the next day & asked if the kids have mentioned wanting to see him. I don't know where he lives and have not seen him in over a month. kids told him they will let him know when they will see him. should I respond to his email? btw, yesterday was our anniversary.
8:28 PM jim: lalachrissie at :26, please condense your comment into a short question for me.
8:28 PM jim: doveseyes at :26, try just surrendering your husband and your marriage.
8:27 PM [doveseyes] Jim25..do you stall by refusing to meet..or what?
8:30 PM jim: doveseyes at :27, stall by encouraging your lawyer do everything he can to slow the process down. Usually there are at least 30 days time before each process deadline and many other modifications can be asked for in between each deadline. Be creative.
8:28 PM [dogwood] hepsy-- If I can't stay by myself in the house, I feel that I need to plan to leave my work and move to be with my son and his family where I will have all the support and happy with grandkids. the problem is what to do with our house here. H probably wants to keep it. I don't want to see him moving a OW in.
8:28 PM [hepsy] bluesky - have you spoken to your d since her visit with h over Thanksgiving?
8:28 PM [Bluesky] hepsy yep, but not about him.
8:29 PM [hepsy] dogwood - if you left your work, would you be able to find another place of employment easily?
8:29 PM [dogwood] Jim-- do you suggest to let him move out without settling the finances legally and wait for a while? He is very determined to begin his new life.
8:32 PM jim: dogwood at :29, Stall and get some legal advice so that you're prepared if your husband does push you.
8:32 PM jim: doveseyes at :30, this is the time you are going to need to be strong, I encourage you to read “31 Days of Praise” by Myers, may be ordered through http://astore.amazon.com · · · dlife-20.
8:30 PM [hepsy] dogwood - as for the house - you can't worry about what h does or does not do. As Jim says, you should get legal counsel and see what they say.
8:31 PM [dogwood] hepsy-- I can retire from my job (although I used to love my work), and try to keep busy with grandkids and church or volunteer in their town, or office.
8:31 PM [faithful] doveseyes my d13 just told me she does not want h back. I just do not know what to tell her. I tell her is what God wants.
8:31 PM jim: ALL: I may have missed some questions, PLEASE ASK SHORT PRECISE QUESTIONS FOR ME.
8:31 PM [doveseyes] jim at 30..ok..I assume you have seen success in situation where the d is stalled...why does this work?
8:33 PM jim: Doveseyes at :31, stalling gives more time for emotions to settle down and for pain to dissipate. It also gives you more time for growth and change so that your husband sees you as a growing person.
8:31 PM [dogwood] Jim-- do you suggest to let H move out without settling the finances legally and wait for a while? He is very determined to begin his new life.
8:32 PM [swan] Jim - If you didn't see plumcrazy's comments - her daughter is being physically and verbally abusive to her, husband who lives at home does nothing to stop it. Cricket and I both told Plum she should take police action against daughter before she seriously injures Plum.
8:34 PM jim: plumcrazy at :32, Cricket and swan gave you the right word.
8:32 PM [MarySarah] Jim last Monday later in session I asked about a teenage child who was over enmeshed with the parent who leaves. Do you think if that child is rebellious to the more settled parent & is so enmeshed with a parent like our spouses, that the child's rebellion can push our spouse into MLC or make it worse? does the rebellion & childish behavior of both make them feed off each other?
8:37 PM jim: MarySarah at :32, children have always used parents against each other whether the marriage is strong or shaky.
8:32 PM [MAS] Hello everyone.
8:32 PM [faithful] doveseyes I told my h he had to file if he wanted a d I am still waiting over a year now.
8:32 PM [plumcrazy] welcome back MAS Feeling better?
8:32 PM [lalachrissie] hepsy how are you tonight?
8:33 PM [MAS] plumcrazy Yes, much better, thanks! What happened in court today? I came onto chat late.
8:34 PM [mkdmlc] all, got to go. Hope to be back before the holidays. You're always in my prayers.
8:34 PM [MAS] Hi mariposa, how are you?
8:34 PM [doveseyes] 33..jim..I really don't think H cares about my growing..H has an addiction and hasn't slowed down..
8:34 PM [faithful] doveseyes that must be tough, I am so sorry. Have you talk to an attorney.
8:34 PM [Bluesky] doveseyes I am too, financially dependent on h. It is very daunting.
8:40 PM jim: dogwood at :35, most husbands want to get divorced without any cost but you need a lawyer to protect your rights.
8:35 PM [MarySarah] Jim as follow up it is our oldest. I always felt since my H had little to no guidance & spoils our kids so much(actually uses his money to obligate them as well as they saw him withhold attention & affection from me if he didn't get his way) It seems she was competing for position with me & my H always ended up not backing me ever. He never seemed to want to do any disciplining them until this one in particular whined to daddy. Our relationship is still strained & it seems she revels in us being apart like there is some dramatic draw to his affair & ow do you see this ever?
8:41 PM jim: MarySarah at :35, I think your daughter is taking sides and it may be that she does have an overly strong admiration for her father.
8:35 PM [MAS] plumcrazy: So, no psych evaluation was ordered, then?
8:36 PM [faithful] doveseyes my h to was on a roll he went to England and even brought her over this summer with what money I do not know but he did. Well this summer they repossess his car and now he is financially broke. Sometimes it take a while and we have to just let them down. They may be happy now but it will catch up to them.
8:37 PM [Bluesky] doveseyes it is, because it is what we agreed on, and now he is leaving me quite scared financially for the future.
8:37 PM [faithful] mariposa I am so sorry. I think that is the hardest the rollercoaster ride.
8:38 PM [hepsy] lalachrissie - so, you got through your anniversary ok?
8:38 PM [MAS] plumcrazy @36: That's good. Hope D's therapist can offer some helpful advice.
8:38 PM [Bluesky] plumcrazy can you push the appt a little sooner?
8:38 PM [mariposa] faithful: I never drive by there but was running an errand that took me straight by her place so I couldn't help myself but to look and sure enough his car was there.. So frustrating. Just when I thought we were doing better.
8:39 PM [lalachrissie] hepsy I did. I kept busy with our friends. My sister's husband is also visiting for a few days so I'm ok.
8:39 PM [mariposa] doveseyes: I'm worried the same for my H.
8:40 PM [faithful] doveseyes at 38 that is my fear for my h. His dad also die all alone without kids or wife. But h does not seem to care.
8:40 PM [MAS] faithful @36: Yes, it seems my H is starting to have financial issues (not to mention health issues) as well. Guess what goes around comes around.
8:41 PM [lalachrissie] hepsy I think I’m going to go. girls want me to make them something to snack on. have a nice evening, chat with you on Wednesday.
8:41 PM [hepsy] lalachrissie - go and enjoy them. I will be praying for you.. Take care..
8:41 PM [faithful] mas that is true we just have to wait and let God work. All we can pray and hope is that they will see the light before is too late.
8:42 PM [MAS] mariposa @36: Oh, I know just how you feel. That's what happened to me a few weeks ago, too. Only it was the other way around. OW's car was at my H's house. VERY upsetting.
8:42 PM [faithful] plum so that is what you need to do is back off and let her suffer the consequences. I know is not easy but we do not do our kids any good but trying to protect them.
8:43 PM [MarySarah] Jim :41 So what do I do with that?
8:48 PM jim: MarySarah at :43, it would be best if we chatted by phone since this is a rather extended discussion.
8:45 PM [plumcrazy] JIM---I am sure H's main anger at me is because police officer he knows were called to our house and know about what our D did. Things were getting better now he is VERY angry at me. He didn’t even help me out of the closet wouldn’t let S help me and didn’t say ANYTHING to D about what she did.
8:45 PM [faithful] jim h has been coming around weekly now for some time to drop the boys off. Do I keep conversation light or should I approach him about where our marriage stands.
8:49 PM jim: faithful at :45, don't approach him about where the marriage stands, just keep things light and friendly.
8:45 PM [MAS] doveseyes/faithful @41: Isn't it interesting how they're all suddenly "broke" yet they have enough finances to run around and travel anywhere they want?
8:47 PM [MarySarah] Jim The OW is very well versed at manipulating & controlling in a not so obvious way. She will stay quiet, but it is NOT a quiet or meek spirit. She is brazen, bold, & calculated. Yet she gets my H to do EVERYTHING for her when my H refused to do same for me & even had higher expectations than I could keep up with. The more I would try to meet his needs it seemed the more he required & expected & the more he would tear down with his words or lack of affection. It still seems humility to him is weakness & he acts more angry could it make him feel more shame the kinder I am & more I can somehow handle?
8:49 PM jim: MarySarah at :47 let's talk by phone.
8:47 PM [faithful] mas my h did not have any just use credit card and now they are max and he cannot pay them. I finally got the bill collectors to call his work and they finally left me alone.
8:47 PM [hepsy] still - hi there!
8:48 PM [Still] Hi everyone.
8:48 PM [Still] Plum, yeah I thought that was a little harsh.
8:48 PM [faithful] dogwood I do not have h address but the other night he told me what apartment he was working at. I knew already from child support paperwork I get.
8:50 PM jim: dogwood at :48, as part of any separation or divorce agreement, your lawyer’s fees would be paid for by your husband.
8:48 PM [Still] Hepsy, I know. I was having some computer issues last night.
8:48 PM [hepsy] still - how are you doing?
8:49 PM [Still] Hepsy, I am doing okay. Went to talk with a lawyer today for the first time. Very scary.
8:49 PM [hepsy] still - I am sure.. did you learn some good information?
8:50 PM [Still] Hepsy, Yes. This lawyer went through her own MLC so she gave me some great insight into how she felt. She walked away from her marriage and then returned. She gives all the credit to God for her return.
8:50 PM [mariposa] jim: So is it basically the rule of thumb to always let H bring up the discussion of where the marriage is heading? I'm scared to death to bring up that discussion.
8:51 PM jim: mariposa at :50, yes it is best in this stage to let him bring up any discussions about your marriage relationship.
8:50 PM [MAS] jim Someone told me recently that since it was our H's who walked out on US, they are legally responsible for our attorney fees. Is that true or not?
8:52 PM jim: MAS at :50, generally your response is accurate.
8:50 PM [faithful] jim at 49 that is what I taught but is so hard. He seems to be more like himself. I went to pick up grand baby so he could see her. She went to him with no problems and he enjoy her.
8:50 PM [Bluesky] dogwood protect yourself but try not to ask your h any questions about what he is doing. That is what he is running from.
8:50 PM [plumcrazy] Still--I bet you are glad to have her for your lawyer!!!
8:51 PM [Bluesky] Still great choice in lawyers!!
8:51 PM [Still] Plum, yes I am. She has copies of Fireproof she gives to couples who consult her. I thought it was great.
8:51 PM [hepsy] still - what a praise! What is your h doing? Is he on the sofa?
8:51 PM [doveseyes] jim at 50..is that because the h committed adultery and abandoned the marriage?
8:53 PM jim: doveseyes at :51, an abandoned wife has more legal leverage because the husband is the one who wants out of the marriage, and she can ask that a condition of the divorce is that he pays all fees.
8:52 PM [Still] Hepsy, Yep, still on the sofa. He has been a wee more talkative the last couple days. I think because his car broke down and he needed to depend on me.
8:52 PM [MAS] dogwood @47: Well, since I was over at my H's home for TG, I have his new address now.
8:52 PM [hepsy] still - well maybe he will get comfortable there like mine. Any more talk from him regarding a d?
8:52 PM [MAS] dogwood: But I also had it before---my mother had given it to me.
8:53 PM [faithful] doveseyes h came in and d13 went to room. She did not want to see him. He went and knock at her door and she did not open. Grandbaby 3 open the door and said "is here grand pa." He went in and gave her a hug on her forehead and she did not respond. He said I guess she is still mad at me. I told him to give her some time. He is acting so much like his old self is so hard to stand back and let him walk away.
8:53 PM [MAS] dogwood What do you mean your H has targets to move out?
8:53 PM [Still] Hepsy, no not a word. We had a seven day stretch that the kids were off and he said nothing. He also spent only 1.5 hours on the rental. So, he apparently isn't in the hurry he thought he was. How are you doing?
8:54 PM [dogwood] jim-- do you know if that works the same in a no-fault state?
8:55 PM jim: dogwood at :54, each state has small unique characteristics regarding divorce - you'll have to ask your lawyer.
8:55 PM [Bluesky] Still are you thinking of filing? Is that why you saw a lawyer?
8:55 PM [hepsy] still - oh, you know... same... just another day...I have my moments... but I am doing ok... Did you say your h will be home for a month during Christmas?
8:55 PM [Bluesky] dogwood all states are now no fault.
8:55 PM [Still] Blue, Oh, No. I have no intention of filing. I just needed to know what my rights were and what I needed to do in the event that he follows through and files.
8:55 PM [dogwood] Bluesky-- thanks for the info.
8:55 PM [MarySarah] Jim cont to me & said "you're 45 not 14, then stormed away found ow & came into the smaller gym to watch our son. I ignored it all. OW's kid shot daggers at me all day & made obscene gestures to our youngest dtr. She told her dad & he took ow's kid's side of course. What am I to make of that statement? Our coach even turned around & said what did he say? Sorry, that's the question.....what was that to mean??????
8:55 PM [Bluesky] Still good for you.
8:55 PM [swan] dogwood - you can usually Google for information like that and/or arrange for free 15 to 20 minute consultations with a local lawyer.
8:56 PM [Still] Hepsy, Yes, he is off for a month at Christmas because of his teaching schedule. That may be quite uncomfortable since I work from home.
8:56 PM [doveseyes] Faithful 53...are you encouraged?
8:57 PM [faithful] doveseyes I am glad for my kids and not sure how I feel. I try to keep my feeling under control.
8:57 PM [Bluesky] dogwood anytime.
8:57 PM [MAS] Hi Still, how are you? How was your TG?
8:57 PM [Still] Hepsy/Blue, this lawyer was wonderful. She asked me if I needed a copy of Fireproof (which I have), gave me a brochure on Christian marriage seminars, and gave me the phone number to a Christian psychologist.
8:58 PM [Bluesky] Still You sure got a good one.
8:58 PM [faithful] Doveseyes yes I am encouraged at times but it is such a slow process. I just have to keep turning him over to God. The last two days was very hard because I was missing him so much. Today I am ok.
8:58 PM [Still] MAS, I'm good. How are you doing? Thanksgiving was just fine. We went to my Dad's. I told H we were going and didn't know if he would show, but he did. He even stayed for games. Weird, huh?
8:58 PM [Bluesky] Still so she will probably understand to stall if you h ever files.
8:58 PM [hepsy] still - that is so great! God was watching out for you... I hope that if I have to go to a lawyer, it will be someone like that. Does your h know you went?
8:58 PM [swan] dogwood - when I still lived in the San Diego area, I had consultations with four different lawyers, had my questions ready for each and tried to not ask them all the same questions that way I got as much information as possible before deciding on which one I might hire if needed.
8:59 PM [Still] Blue, yes she told me not to panic if he files. She said, "If he files, you have 90 days to respond. If you agree, it goes to court. If not, it has a 2-year waiting period."
8:59 PM [MAS] Still I'm so glad everything went well for you!
9:00 PM [Still] Hepsy, No, my H doesn't know I went. In fact, he didn't go to work today due to weather. The kids were off and I didn't want him to know that I was going. I just told him I had an appointment. I paid in cash so there would no trail.
9:01 PM [MAS] Still: How did you find a lawyer like that? Did you get a referral from someone you know?
9:01 PM [hepsy] still - that was a good idea..You don't have to tell me exactly, but is it expensive to go to a lawyer? Do they charge by the hour or visit?
9:01 PM [Still] Hepsy/Blue/MAS, The bad part was that she really believes my H is having an affair based on his actions and demeanor. She asked me if I wanted her to arrange a PI to find proof. I said that I was not interested and that I really don't think he is.
9:02 PM [Still] MAS, I found her through a good friend. She knew she had her own crisis, left her marriage, and was back happier than ever. She thought it would be a great connection for me.
9:02 PM [dogwood] swan, did not know that you lived in San Diego area, can you recommend any lawyer?
9:02 PM [faithful] doveseyes at first it is continuing to turning it over to God every minute then it gets better. Now I tell myself is ok if he never comes back I will be ok, but deep inside I know I still want him back. But I want someone committed to God and his family.
9:02 PM [Bluesky] Still did you share with your lawyer about this group and site?
9:02 PM [hepsy] still - that is my fear... those I have confided it think he must be having affair.. I, like you, don't think so.. but then, I hear about women all the time who firmly believe their h is not, and then come to find out later it is so.
9:02 PM [MAS] Still @59: A 2 year waiting period? Really? What state are you in?
9:02 PM [Still] Hepsy, Her initial consult was $50. Her retainer for services is $2000. That was a little tough to take.
9:03 PM [swan] dogwood - I lived on Camp Pendleton, worked at Miramar. My daughter worked for a legal firm that specialized in intellectual properties, trademarks and patents, the lawyer she worked for gave me the referrals. She doesn't work there anymore, the firm moved to Boston and I it has been too many years, so just don’t remember who the lawyers were, sorry.
9:03 PM [Still] Bluesky, Yes, I told her about this group. She thought it was great that I have a support system online.
9:03 PM [Still] MAS, I am in Pennsylvania.
9:03 PM jim: Thanks everyone for being in the chat room today. If you got lost during the chat process, check back later to find the edited chat dialogue posted in the archives, there you can read it at your own pace. It's been fun talking with you today. We, at Midlife Dimensions, will remember you and your marriages in prayer throughout the week. Warmly in Christ, Jim. James 4:8, Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.
9:03 PM [Bluesky] Still sheesh that was an awesome price. My consult was 250 with a 5000 retainer.
9:04 PM [hepsy] still - yuk...I guess if your h files, you could make him pay that? But we will pray that he doesn't file and we won't have to worry..
9:04 PM [Still] Hepsy, My Dad who has turned his life around had affairs throughout his marriages. He told me that he really doesn't believe he is...that he is depressed.
9:04 PM [Still] Blue, Yikes!
9:05 PM [hepsy] still - that is what I believe about my h. I think the only affair he is having is with his Crown Royal..
9:05 PM [Bluesky] Still if you know where he is all the time, I would agree with you that he is not. That was how I felt before my h left.
9:05 PM [Still] Hepsy, My H fantasizes about a different life.
9:06 PM [lisak] ALL: thanks for being here tonight. Scripture Reading: Psalm 27:11-14, in which David urges us to wait patiently before the Lord. 11 Teach me Your way, O Lord, And lead me in a smooth path, because of my enemies. 12 Do not deliver me to the will of my adversaries; For false witnesses have risen against me, And such as breathe out violence. 13 I would have lost heart, unless I had believed That I would see the goodness of the Lord In the land of the living. 14 Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!
9:06 PM [Bluesky] Still oh, they all do.
9:06 PM [Still] Blue, he is always home on time for dinner. He travels a lot, but his colleague is a very strong Christian man with a family.
9:06 PM [hepsy] still - and what life would that be?
9:06 PM [faithful] Lisa that is the verse God gave me when all this started to Wait on the Lord.
9:06 PM [MAS] hepsy @02: I hate to say it, but that is exactly what happened to me. The entire time I thought my H and I were trying to reestablish our relationship, I discovered he was having an affair for over a year. I never had a clue.
9:07 PM [Still] Hepsy, My dad says your H has everything any man could want right in front of him and can't see a thing. My dad tears up when he talks to me about it.
9:07 PM [faithful] doveseyes before this I was so inpatient my sister just laughs at me and says I have come a long way.
9:08 PM [doveseyes] faithful..how long?
9:08 PM [mariposa] doveseyes: Waiting is terrible but I find it better than the alternative which would be a divorce.
9:08 PM [Still] MAS, I know how much you have hurt over your h's affair. I'm so sorry.
9:08 PM [hepsy] still - well, your dad is right..
9:09 PM [mariposa] MAS: Has there just been one OW for your husband over the four years?
9:09 PM [Bluesky] plumcrazy swan gave you great advice about not worrying about how your h feels about being seen by the p/o he knows. That is his problem to deal with. That shouldn't be more important than the welfare of your d.
9:09 PM [lisak] ALL - my pleasure. I'm going to run for the night. Goodnight everyone.
9:09 PM [MAS] hepsy @07: It sure was a shocker.
9:09 PM [hepsy] still - well, of course, you are his d.. but I don't even really know you and can tell you are a wonderful person..
9:10 PM [MarySarah] swan did you happen to see what I said my H said to me this w/e?
9:10 PM [MAS] Still@08: Thank you.
9:10 PM [Still] Hepsy, Thank you. You are clearly a sweetheart yourself!
9:10 PM [swan] MarySarah - sorry I didn't, busy taking care of the admin part of chat tonight.
9:11 PM [faithful] all I have to go my grand baby and foster child are making a mess. They get the plastic bag and fill them up with their toys and get them everywhere. I need to put them in bed.
9:11 PM [Still] All, got to run. It was wonderful to "see" you all. Have a great night!
9:11 PM [hepsy] still - thanks dear! Well, I have to go.. my contacts are getting all dried out because I am tired. It was so glad chatting with you..
9:11 PM [Still] Hepsy, you, too!
9:11 PM [MAS] mariposa @09: No, there have been others, but they were just flings. As far as I know, this OW is the first serious relationship he's had in the past 4 years.
9:12 PM [hepsy] all - I am turning in as well. Take care. Try to get some sleep.
9:12 PM [Bluesky] plumcrazy but I was referring to you worrying about how your h feels.
9:12 PM [faithful] plum take it easy and good night.
9:13 PM [MarySarah] swan I had to see OW who has finally found a way around not being at our kids' events. I looked good & was in my element so to speak as I know the sport & many people & the ow does not. I tried to be old upbeat, self & talked to lots people I have known for years, inc all the kids competing. H came up & snidely whispered in my ear" you're 45, not 14 " & stormed away, got ow & came into room my son was competing to watch even though our son doesn't like her or want her there. What should I think that statement means?
9:14 PM [MAS] All: I am going to go. Take care everyone, and have a good night!
9:15 PM [MarySarah] All :11sometimes I wonder why some come up empty & go from one ow to another & feel loss & others seem to be able to not only float, but swim strongly to shore & create a whole new life immediately that they refused to create in their marriage.
9:17 PM [swan] MarySarah - well usually when people say something like that it is because they are embarrassed by the behavior of the person they make a comment like that to. Not to mention that your drawing attention to yourself being there alone and him with the other woman opens him up to judgment by others, he was embarrassed and probably upset with you. In his mind, the other woman was behavior appropriately and you weren't, so it gives him one more thing to accuse you of.
9:18 PM [swan] Goodnight all, the room is going to close in a couple minutes, please join us again Wednesday evening.

tokenized:
8:08 PM jim : ALL - I 'm ready for your questions , let 's get going .
 8:10 PM [ mariposa ] hello everyone .
 8:12 PM [ faithful ] plum how did it go .
 8:13 PM [ Bluesky ] mkdmlc . hey friend , have n't seen you in awhile .
 8:13 PM [ hepsy ] hi lalachrissie - how are you ?
 8:14 PM [ doveseyes ] plum ... ohhhh wow ... I am so sorry ... was that the first time something like this happened ?
 8:14 PM [ Bluesky ] mkdmlc end of the year stuff ?
 8:14 PM [ lalachrissie ] hepsy Hi . I 'm ok . Last night the power went out in neighborhood .
 8:14 PM [ mkdmlc ] Bluesky How are you and what 's going on with you ?
 8:15 PM [ hepsy ] lalachrissie - wow .. how long ?
 8:15 PM [ dogwood ] All -- I am in terrible shape . got the bomb last night . H left this morning for a month , last night , he asked me what is my plan regarding the separation , I told him that my thought stays the same , I do not want a separation . He got really mad and said that he is suffocating in the house , when he returns in January , he is moving out . I had long talk with him asking why he does not consider reconciliation that will relieve his struggle . Finally , he told me straight that he wants to keep the liberty of multiple relationships besides just Wife . He has found a potential condo , and has transferred some of his account to his name only , etc . Please pray for me , this might be the direction indicating that I need to prepare myself for separation .
 8:20 PM jim : dogwood at : 15 , It 's time to get some legal advice .
 8:15 PM [ faithful ] all h just left he dropped off the boys . Is so hard and have to keep myself from holding his hand of asking a dumb question like when is he coming home .
 8:15 PM [ Bluesky ] mkdmlc just heading down the path I did n't want . There is basically no contact anymore with h.
 8:15 PM [ doveseyes ] plum ... I tell you ... I thought today .. can't we schedule crisis / conflict ? one at a time .. is she still in the home .
 8:15 PM [ lalachrissie ] hepsy I 'm not sure when it came back on , went to bed early b / c I was exhausted anyway .
 8:16 PM [ Bluesky ] mkdmlc how about you ? Have you heard from h at all ?
 8:16 PM [ plumcrazy ] Doveseyes -- Yes she is .
 8:16 PM [ hepsy ] dogwood - I am sorry ... how are you holding up ?
 8:17 PM [ hepsy ] lalachrissie - well last night you said you had been keeping busy and then you signed off -was it due to the power outage ?
 8:17 PM [ mariposa ] dogwood : ( Hugs ) . So sorry .
 8:17 PM [ dogwood ] Jim-- please read my latest happening at 6:12 ; I think I would be the first casualty . Nothing is working here . H told me that he is not MLC ; he has made up his mind .
 8:22 PM jim : doveseyes at : 17 , Basically standing means that you are committing yourself to let God work in the marriage , that you are not going to initiate action toward a divorce . So surrendering your husband and marriage to God is crucial to standing .
 8:18 PM [ Bluesky ] Jim , I have a male friend who has been calling me for advice . He knows my situation ( h and wife are long time friends ) and he is feeling like he wants to leave his wife because he does n't get any attention from her . I have talked him in to getting counseling . They are close to empty nesters and he is he one struggling . Any advice ?
 8:23 PM jim : Bluesky at : 18 , both of you are in a very dangerous situation - it 's crucial that he gets counseling from a male counselor .
 8:18 PM [ faithful ] jim h email me back regarding our daughter problems I have been having and do not want to read too much into but he made a comment that hopefully she will learn that there are consequences to her actions .
 8:24 PM jim : faithful at : 18 , your daughter 's situation is a normal teenage type of problem - treat it that way .
 8:18 PM [ lalachrissie ] hepsy yes , was forced off . we were busy all day yesterday . Drove for over an hour to take a train for an hour to cut down a tree with friends . It was really fun .
 8:18 PM [ hepsy ] dogwood - I hope you are trying to stay calm and not panic ..
 8:19 PM [ faithful ] jim also he said we instead of you referring to raising our kids . In the past he has said you will do a good job raising the boys now he is we .
 8:19 PM [ mkdmlc ] jim My h is in the withdrawal and depression stage and have not heard from him since d. I want to send a Xmas card to him and his family with a pic of me with Santa . Is that appropriate ?
 8:25 PM jim : mkdmlc at : 19 , for now - avoid the Christmas card unless it is extremely funny .
 8:19 PM [ faithful ] dogwood I am so sorry for your pain .
 8:19 PM [ doveseyes ] jim .. my h also called and said he wanted to d and work something out after Christmas so he could be with kids . Nothing is stopping h now from being with kids . Only his busy dating schedule .. sos ..
 8:26 PM jim : doveseyes at : 19 , stall the divorce as much as possible .
 8:20 PM [ faithful ] doveseyes do any of your kids want to see him ?
 8:21 PM [ hepsy ] lalachrissie - that 's nice .. It is good to stay busy and do fun things . It is also good to laugh - something we forget to do when in crisis like this .
 8:22 PM [ hepsy ] dogwood- I know .. in the beginning I felt the same - too sad here with things the way they are .. but actually now , it is not as bad .. I am used to it and am finally enjoying my alone time . At least when h is at work I do n't have to walk on eggshells .
 8:23 PM [ dogwood ] Jim-- Thanks , H got angry when I try to ask for more than 50 % ; he gets in rage and saying if I try to stop him and keep him by manipulating and asking for more share , he will stay but will certainly make it very very miserable for me . He wants to just divide between us and keep us legally married . do you think that is a good idea ? or , should I push for legal ?
 8:23 PM [ Bluesky ] hepsy I enjoy my alone time too .
 8:24 PM [ hepsy ] bluesky - since you got through Thanksgiving - what will you plans before Christmas ?
 8:24 PM [ Bluesky ] hepsy just my kids and me , I guess .
 8:26 PM [ mkdmlc ] jim thanks . Card is cute but not funny . Hey , that is a good laugh for me !
 8:26 PM [ mariposa ] dogwood : Is he talking about just separation or divorce ?
 8:26 PM [ lalachrissie ] jim- last week h accidently cancelled my visa card & ordered me a new one & I asked him the day before if he would let me know when he deposited money for my bills . I assumed that he would mail me the new card , b / c he said he tried to have the bank mail it to me but they would n't . today I received an email saying he has my card and that he should be depositing money tomorrow or the next day & asked if the kids have mentioned wanting to see him . I do n't know where he lives and have not seen him in over a month . kids told him they will let him know when they will see him . should I respond to his email ? btw , yesterday was our anniversary .
 8:28 PM jim : lalachrissie at : 26 , please condense your comment into a short question for me .
 8:28 PM jim : doveseyes at : 26 , try just surrendering your husband and your marriage .
 8:27 PM [ doveseyes ] Jim25 .. do you stall by refusing to meet .. or what ?
 8:30 PM jim : doveseyes at : 27 , stall by encouraging your lawyer do everything he can to slow the process down . Usually there are at least 30 days time before each process deadline and many other modifications can be asked for in between each deadline . Be creative .
 8:28 PM [ dogwood ] hepsy-- If I ca n't stay by myself in the house , I feel that I need to plan to leave my work and move to be with my son and his family where I will have all the support and happy with grandkids . the problem is what to do with our house here . H probably wants to keep it . I do n't want to see him moving a OW in .
 8:28 PM [ hepsy ] bluesky - have you spoken to your d since her visit with h over Thanksgiving ?
 8:28 PM [ Bluesky ] hepsy yep , but not about him .
 8:29 PM [ hepsy ] dogwood - if you left your work , would you be able to find another place of employment easily ?
 8:29 PM [ dogwood ] Jim-- do you suggest to let him move out without settling the finances legally and wait for a while ? He is very determined to begin his new life .
 8:32 PM jim : dogwood at : 29 , Stall and get some legal advice so that you 're prepared if your husband does push you .
 8:32 PM jim : doveseyes at : 30 , this is the time you are going to need to be strong , I encourage you to read “ 31 Days of Praise ” by Myers , may be ordered through http://astore.amazon.com · · · dlife-20 .
 8:30 PM [ hepsy ] dogwood - as for the house - you ca n't worry about what h does or does not do . As Jim says , you should get legal counsel and see what they say .
 8:31 PM [ dogwood ] hepsy-- I can retire from my job ( although I used to love my work ) , and try to keep busy with grandkids and church or volunteer in their town , or office .
 8:31 PM [ faithful ] doveseyes my d13 just told me she does not want h back . I just do not know what to tell her . I tell her is what God wants .
 8:31 PM jim : ALL : I may have missed some questions , PLEASE ASK SHORT PRECISE QUESTIONS FOR ME .
 8:31 PM [ doveseyes ] jim at 30 .. ok .. I assume you have seen success in situation where the d is stalled ... why does this work ?
 8:33 PM jim : Doveseyes at : 31 , stalling gives more time for emotions to settle down and for pain to dissipate . It also gives you more time for growth and change so that your husband sees you as a growing person .
 8:31 PM [ dogwood ] Jim-- do you suggest to let H move out without settling the finances legally and wait for a while ? He is very determined to begin his new life .
 8:32 PM [ swan ] Jim - If you did n't see plumcrazy 's comments - her daughter is being physically and verbally abusive to her , husband who lives at home does nothing to stop it . Cricket and I both told Plum she should take police action against daughter before she seriously injures Plum .
 8:34 PM jim : plumcrazy at : 32 , Cricket and swan gave you the right word .
 8:32 PM [ MarySarah ] Jim last Monday later in session I asked about a teenage child who was over enmeshed with the parent who leaves . Do you think if that child is rebellious to the more settled parent & is so enmeshed with a parent like our spouses , that the child 's rebellion can push our spouse into MLC or make it worse ? does the rebellion & childish behavior of both make them feed off each other ?
 8:37 PM jim : MarySarah at : 32 , children have always used parents against each other whether the marriage is strong or shaky .
 8:32 PM [ MAS ] Hello everyone .
 8:32 PM [ faithful ] doveseyes I told my h he had to file if he wanted a d I am still waiting over a year now .
 8:32 PM [ plumcrazy ] welcome back MAS Feeling better ?
 8:32 PM [ lalachrissie ] hepsy how are you tonight ?
 8:33 PM [ MAS ] plumcrazy Yes , much better , thanks ! What happened in court today ? I came onto chat late .
 8:34 PM [ mkdmlc ] all , got to go . Hope to be back before the holidays . You 're always in my prayers .
 8:34 PM [ MAS ] Hi mariposa , how are you ?
 8:34 PM [ doveseyes ] 33 .. jim .. I really do n't think H cares about my growing .. H has an addiction and has n't slowed down ..
 8:34 PM [ faithful ] doveseyes that must be tough , I am so sorry . Have you talk to an attorney .
 8:34 PM [ Bluesky ] doveseyes I am too , financially dependent on h. It is very daunting .
 8:40 PM jim : dogwood at : 35 , most husbands want to get divorced without any cost but you need a lawyer to protect your rights .
 8:35 PM [ MarySarah ] Jim as follow up it is our oldest . I always felt since my H had little to no guidance & spoils our kids so much(actually uses his money to obligate them as well as they saw him withhold attention & affection from me if he did n't get his way ) It seems she was competing for position with me & my H always ended up not backing me ever . He never seemed to want to do any disciplining them until this one in particular whined to daddy . Our relationship is still strained & it seems she revels in us being apart like there is some dramatic draw to his affair & ow do you see this ever ?
 8:41 PM jim : MarySarah at : 35 , I think your daughter is taking sides and it may be that she does have an overly strong admiration for her father .
 8:35 PM [ MAS ] plumcrazy : So , no psych evaluation was ordered , then ?
 8:36 PM [ faithful ] doveseyes my h to was on a roll he went to England and even brought her over this summer with what money I do not know but he did . Well this summer they repossess his car and now he is financially broke . Sometimes it take a while and we have to just let them down . They may be happy now but it will catch up to them .
 8:37 PM [ Bluesky ] doveseyes it is , because it is what we agreed on , and now he is leaving me quite scared financially for the future .
 8:37 PM [ faithful ] mariposa I am so sorry . I think that is the hardest the rollercoaster ride .
 8:38 PM [ hepsy ] lalachrissie - so , you got through your anniversary ok ?
 8:38 PM [ MAS ] plumcrazy @36 : That 's good . Hope D 's therapist can offer some helpful advice .
 8:38 PM [ Bluesky ] plumcrazy can you push the appt a little sooner ?
 8:38 PM [ mariposa ] faithful : I never drive by there but was running an errand that took me straight by her place so I could n't help myself but to look and sure enough his car was there .. So frustrating . Just when I thought we were doing better .
 8:39 PM [ lalachrissie ] hepsy I did . I kept busy with our friends . My sister 's husband is also visiting for a few days so I 'm ok .
 8:39 PM [ mariposa ] doveseyes : I 'm worried the same for my H.
 8:40 PM [ faithful ] doveseyes at 38 that is my fear for my h. His dad also die all alone without kids or wife . But h does not seem to care .
 8:40 PM [ MAS ] faithful @36 : Yes , it seems my H is starting to have financial issues ( not to mention health issues ) as well . Guess what goes around comes around .
 8:41 PM [ lalachrissie ] hepsy I think I ’m going to go . girls want me to make them something to snack on . have a nice evening , chat with you on Wednesday .
 8:41 PM [ hepsy ] lalachrissie - go and enjoy them . I will be praying for you .. Take care ..
 8:41 PM [ faithful ] mas that is true we just have to wait and let God work . All we can pray and hope is that they will see the light before is too late .
 8:42 PM [ MAS ] mariposa @36 : Oh , I know just how you feel . That 's what happened to me a few weeks ago , too . Only it was the other way around . OW 's car was at my H 's house . VERY upsetting .
 8:42 PM [ faithful ] plum so that is what you need to do is back off and let her suffer the consequences . I know is not easy but we do not do our kids any good but trying to protect them .
 8:43 PM [ MarySarah ] Jim : 41 So what do I do with that ?
 8:48 PM jim : MarySarah at : 43 , it would be best if we chatted by phone since this is a rather extended discussion .
 8:45 PM [ plumcrazy ] JIM --- I am sure H 's main anger at me is because police officer he knows were called to our house and know about what our D did . Things were getting better now he is VERY angry at me . He did n’t even help me out of the closet would n’t let S help me and did n’t say ANYTHING to D about what she did .
 8:45 PM [ faithful ] jim h has been coming around weekly now for some time to drop the boys off . Do I keep conversation light or should I approach him about where our marriage stands .
 8:49 PM jim : faithful at : 45 , do n't approach him about where the marriage stands , just keep things light and friendly .
 8:45 PM [ MAS ] doveseyes / faithful @41 : Is n't it interesting how they 're all suddenly " broke " yet they have enough finances to run around and travel anywhere they want ?
 8:47 PM [ MarySarah ] Jim The OW is very well versed at manipulating & controlling in a not so obvious way . She will stay quiet , but it is NOT a quiet or meek spirit . She is brazen , bold , & calculated . Yet she gets my H to do EVERYTHING for her when my H refused to do same for me & even had higher expectations than I could keep up with . The more I would try to meet his needs it seemed the more he required & expected & the more he would tear down with his words or lack of affection . It still seems humility to him is weakness & he acts more angry could it make him feel more shame the kinder I am & more I can somehow handle ?
 8:49 PM jim : MarySarah at : 47 let 's talk by phone .
 8:47 PM [ faithful ] mas my h did not have any just use credit card and now they are max and he can not pay them . I finally got the bill collectors to call his work and they finally left me alone .
 8:47 PM [ hepsy ] still - hi there !
 8:48 PM [ Still ] Hi everyone .
 8:48 PM [ Still ] Plum , yeah I thought that was a little harsh .
 8:48 PM [ faithful ] dogwood I do not have h address but the other night he told me what apartment he was working at . I knew already from child support paperwork I get .
 8:50 PM jim : dogwood at : 48 , as part of any separation or divorce agreement , your lawyer ’s fees would be paid for by your husband .
 8:48 PM [ Still ] Hepsy , I know . I was having some computer issues last night .
 8:48 PM [ hepsy ] still - how are you doing ?
 8:49 PM [ Still ] Hepsy , I am doing okay . Went to talk with a lawyer today for the first time . Very scary .
 8:49 PM [ hepsy ] still - I am sure .. did you learn some good information ?
 8:50 PM [ Still ] Hepsy , Yes . This lawyer went through her own MLC so she gave me some great insight into how she felt . She walked away from her marriage and then returned . She gives all the credit to God for her return .
 8:50 PM [ mariposa ] jim : So is it basically the rule of thumb to always let H bring up the discussion of where the marriage is heading ? I 'm scared to death to bring up that discussion .
 8:51 PM jim : mariposa at : 50 , yes it is best in this stage to let him bring up any discussions about your marriage relationship .
 8:50 PM [ MAS ] jim Someone told me recently that since it was our H 's who walked out on US , they are legally responsible for our attorney fees . Is that true or not ?
 8:52 PM jim : MAS at : 50 , generally your response is accurate .
 8:50 PM [ faithful ] jim at 49 that is what I taught but is so hard . He seems to be more like himself . I went to pick up grand baby so he could see her . She went to him with no problems and he enjoy her .
 8:50 PM [ Bluesky ] dogwood protect yourself but try not to ask your h any questions about what he is doing . That is what he is running from .
 8:50 PM [ plumcrazy ] Still -- I bet you are glad to have her for your lawyer ! ! !
 8:51 PM [ Bluesky ] Still great choice in lawyers ! !
 8:51 PM [ Still ] Plum , yes I am . She has copies of Fireproof she gives to couples who consult her . I thought it was great .
 8:51 PM [ hepsy ] still - what a praise ! What is your h doing ? Is he on the sofa ?
 8:51 PM [ doveseyes ] jim at 50 .. is that because the h committed adultery and abandoned the marriage ?
 8:53 PM jim : doveseyes at : 51 , an abandoned wife has more legal leverage because the husband is the one who wants out of the marriage , and she can ask that a condition of the divorce is that he pays all fees .
 8:52 PM [ Still ] Hepsy , Yep , still on the sofa . He has been a wee more talkative the last couple days . I think because his car broke down and he needed to depend on me .
 8:52 PM [ MAS ] dogwood @47 : Well , since I was over at my H 's home for TG , I have his new address now .
 8:52 PM [ hepsy ] still - well maybe he will get comfortable there like mine . Any more talk from him regarding a d ?
 8:52 PM [ MAS ] dogwood : But I also had it before --- my mother had given it to me .
 8:53 PM [ faithful ] doveseyes h came in and d13 went to room . She did not want to see him . He went and knock at her door and she did not open . Grandbaby 3 open the door and said " is here grand pa . " He went in and gave her a hug on her forehead and she did not respond . He said I guess she is still mad at me . I told him to give her some time . He is acting so much like his old self is so hard to stand back and let him walk away .
 8:53 PM [ MAS ] dogwood What do you mean your H has targets to move out ?
 8:53 PM [ Still ] Hepsy , no not a word . We had a seven day stretch that the kids were off and he said nothing . He also spent only 1.5 hours on the rental . So , he apparently is n't in the hurry he thought he was . How are you doing ?
 8:54 PM [ dogwood ] jim-- do you know if that works the same in a no - fault state ?
 8:55 PM jim : dogwood at : 54 , each state has small unique characteristics regarding divorce - you 'll have to ask your lawyer .
 8:55 PM [ Bluesky ] Still are you thinking of filing ? Is that why you saw a lawyer ?
 8:55 PM [ hepsy ] still - oh , you know ... same ... just another day ... I have my moments ... but I am doing ok ... Did you say your h will be home for a month during Christmas ?
 8:55 PM [ Bluesky ] dogwood all states are now no fault .
 8:55 PM [ Still ] Blue , Oh , No . I have no intention of filing . I just needed to know what my rights were and what I needed to do in the event that he follows through and files .
 8:55 PM [ dogwood ] Bluesky-- thanks for the info .
 8:55 PM [ MarySarah ] Jim cont to me & said " you 're 45 not 14 , then stormed away found ow & came into the smaller gym to watch our son . I ignored it all . OW 's kid shot daggers at me all day & made obscene gestures to our youngest dtr . She told her dad & he took ow 's kid 's side of course . What am I to make of that statement ? Our coach even turned around & said what did he say ? Sorry , that 's the question ..... what was that to mean ? ? ? ? ? ?
 8:55 PM [ Bluesky ] Still good for you .
 8:55 PM [ swan ] dogwood - you can usually Google for information like that and/or arrange for free 15 to 20 minute consultations with a local lawyer .
 8:56 PM [ Still ] Hepsy , Yes , he is off for a month at Christmas because of his teaching schedule . That may be quite uncomfortable since I work from home .
 8:56 PM [ doveseyes ] Faithful 53 ... are you encouraged ?
 8:57 PM [ faithful ] doveseyes I am glad for my kids and not sure how I feel . I try to keep my feeling under control .
 8:57 PM [ Bluesky ] dogwood anytime .
 8:57 PM [ MAS ] Hi Still , how are you ? How was your TG ?
 8:57 PM [ Still ] Hepsy / Blue , this lawyer was wonderful . She asked me if I needed a copy of Fireproof ( which I have ) , gave me a brochure on Christian marriage seminars , and gave me the phone number to a Christian psychologist .
 8:58 PM [ Bluesky ] Still You sure got a good one .
 8:58 PM [ faithful ] Doveseyes yes I am encouraged at times but it is such a slow process . I just have to keep turning him over to God . The last two days was very hard because I was missing him so much . Today I am ok .
 8:58 PM [ Still ] MAS , I 'm good . How are you doing ? Thanksgiving was just fine . We went to my Dad 's . I told H we were going and did n't know if he would show , but he did . He even stayed for games . Weird , huh ?
 8:58 PM [ Bluesky ] Still so she will probably understand to stall if you h ever files .
 8:58 PM [ hepsy ] still - that is so great ! God was watching out for you ... I hope that if I have to go to a lawyer , it will be someone like that . Does your h know you went ?
 8:58 PM [ swan ] dogwood - when I still lived in the San Diego area , I had consultations with four different lawyers , had my questions ready for each and tried to not ask them all the same questions that way I got as much information as possible before deciding on which one I might hire if needed .
 8:59 PM [ Still ] Blue , yes she told me not to panic if he files . She said , " If he files , you have 90 days to respond . If you agree , it goes to court . If not , it has a 2 - year waiting period . "
 8:59 PM [ MAS ] Still I 'm so glad everything went well for you !
 9:00 PM [ Still ] Hepsy , No , my H does n't know I went . In fact , he did n't go to work today due to weather . The kids were off and I did n't want him to know that I was going . I just told him I had an appointment . I paid in cash so there would no trail .
 9:01 PM [ MAS ] Still : How did you find a lawyer like that ? Did you get a referral from someone you know ?
 9:01 PM [ hepsy ] still - that was a good idea .. You do n't have to tell me exactly , but is it expensive to go to a lawyer ? Do they charge by the hour or visit ?
 9:01 PM [ Still ] Hepsy / Blue / MAS , The bad part was that she really believes my H is having an affair based on his actions and demeanor . She asked me if I wanted her to arrange a PI to find proof . I said that I was not interested and that I really do n't think he is .
 9:02 PM [ Still ] MAS , I found her through a good friend . She knew she had her own crisis , left her marriage , and was back happier than ever . She thought it would be a great connection for me .
 9:02 PM [ dogwood ] swan , did not know that you lived in San Diego area , can you recommend any lawyer ?
 9:02 PM [ faithful ] doveseyes at first it is continuing to turning it over to God every minute then it gets better . Now I tell myself is ok if he never comes back I will be ok , but deep inside I know I still want him back . But I want someone committed to God and his family .
 9:02 PM [ Bluesky ] Still did you share with your lawyer about this group and site ?
 9:02 PM [ hepsy ] still - that is my fear ... those I have confided it think he must be having affair .. I , like you , do n't think so .. but then , I hear about women all the time who firmly believe their h is not , and then come to find out later it is so .
 9:02 PM [ MAS ] Still @59 : A 2 year waiting period ? Really ? What state are you in ?
 9:02 PM [ Still ] Hepsy , Her initial consult was $ 50 . Her retainer for services is $ 2000 . That was a little tough to take .
 9:03 PM [ swan ] dogwood - I lived on Camp Pendleton , worked at Miramar . My daughter worked for a legal firm that specialized in intellectual properties , trademarks and patents , the lawyer she worked for gave me the referrals . She does n't work there anymore , the firm moved to Boston and I it has been too many years , so just do n’t remember who the lawyers were , sorry .
 9:03 PM [ Still ] Bluesky , Yes , I told her about this group . She thought it was great that I have a support system online .
 9:03 PM [ Still ] MAS , I am in Pennsylvania .
 9:03 PM jim : Thanks everyone for being in the chat room today . If you got lost during the chat process , check back later to find the edited chat dialogue posted in the archives , there you can read it at your own pace . It 's been fun talking with you today . We , at Midlife Dimensions , will remember you and your marriages in prayer throughout the week . Warmly in Christ , Jim . James 4:8 , Draw near to God and He will draw near to you .
 9:03 PM [ Bluesky ] Still sheesh that was an awesome price . My consult was 250 with a 5000 retainer .
 9:04 PM [ hepsy ] still - yuk ... I guess if your h files , you could make him pay that ? But we will pray that he does n't file and we wo n't have to worry ..
 9:04 PM [ Still ] Hepsy , My Dad who has turned his life around had affairs throughout his marriages . He told me that he really does n't believe he is ... that he is depressed .
 9:04 PM [ Still ] Blue , Yikes !
 9:05 PM [ hepsy ] still - that is what I believe about my h. I think the only affair he is having is with his Crown Royal ..
 9:05 PM [ Bluesky ] Still if you know where he is all the time , I would agree with you that he is not . That was how I felt before my h left .
 9:05 PM [ Still ] Hepsy , My H fantasizes about a different life .
 9:06 PM [ lisak ] ALL : thanks for being here tonight . Scripture Reading : Psalm 27:11 - 14 , in which David urges us to wait patiently before the Lord . 11 Teach me Your way , O Lord , And lead me in a smooth path , because of my enemies . 12 Do not deliver me to the will of my adversaries ; For false witnesses have risen against me , And such as breathe out violence . 13 I would have lost heart , unless I had believed That I would see the goodness of the Lord In the land of the living . 14 Wait on the Lord ; Be of good courage , And He shall strengthen your heart ; Wait , I say , on the Lord !
 9:06 PM [ Bluesky ] Still oh , they all do .
 9:06 PM [ Still ] Blue , he is always home on time for dinner . He travels a lot , but his colleague is a very strong Christian man with a family .
 9:06 PM [ hepsy ] still - and what life would that be ?
 9:06 PM [ faithful ] Lisa that is the verse God gave me when all this started to Wait on the Lord .
 9:06 PM [ MAS ] hepsy @02 : I hate to say it , but that is exactly what happened to me . The entire time I thought my H and I were trying to reestablish our relationship , I discovered he was having an affair for over a year . I never had a clue .
 9:07 PM [ Still ] Hepsy , My dad says your H has everything any man could want right in front of him and ca n't see a thing . My dad tears up when he talks to me about it .
 9:07 PM [ faithful ] doveseyes before this I was so inpatient my sister just laughs at me and says I have come a long way .
 9:08 PM [ doveseyes ] faithful .. how long ?
 9:08 PM [ mariposa ] doveseyes : Waiting is terrible but I find it better than the alternative which would be a divorce .
 9:08 PM [ Still ] MAS , I know how much you have hurt over your h 's affair . I 'm so sorry .
 9:08 PM [ hepsy ] still - well , your dad is right ..
 9:09 PM [ mariposa ] MAS : Has there just been one OW for your husband over the four years ?
 9:09 PM [ Bluesky ] plumcrazy swan gave you great advice about not worrying about how your h feels about being seen by the p / o he knows . That is his problem to deal with . That should n't be more important than the welfare of your d.
 9:09 PM [ lisak ] ALL - my pleasure . I 'm going to run for the night . Goodnight everyone .
 9:09 PM [ MAS ] hepsy @07 : It sure was a shocker .
 9:09 PM [ hepsy ] still - well , of course , you are his d .. but I do n't even really know you and can tell you are a wonderful person ..
 9:10 PM [ MarySarah ] swan did you happen to see what I said my H said to me this w / e ?
 9:10 PM [ MAS ] Still@08 : Thank you .
 9:10 PM [ Still ] Hepsy , Thank you . You are clearly a sweetheart yourself !
 9:10 PM [ swan ] MarySarah - sorry I did n't , busy taking care of the admin part of chat tonight .
 9:11 PM [ faithful ] all I have to go my grand baby and foster child are making a mess . They get the plastic bag and fill them up with their toys and get them everywhere . I need to put them in bed .
 9:11 PM [ Still ] All , got to run . It was wonderful to " see " you all . Have a great night !
 9:11 PM [ hepsy ] still - thanks dear ! Well , I have to go .. my contacts are getting all dried out because I am tired . It was so glad chatting with you ..
 9:11 PM [ Still ] Hepsy , you , too !
 9:11 PM [ MAS ] mariposa @09 : No , there have been others , but they were just flings . As far as I know , this OW is the first serious relationship he 's had in the past 4 years .
 9:12 PM [ hepsy ] all - I am turning in as well . Take care . Try to get some sleep .
 9:12 PM [ Bluesky ] plumcrazy but I was referring to you worrying about how your h feels .
 9:12 PM [ faithful ] plum take it easy and good night .
 9:13 PM [ MarySarah ] swan I had to see OW who has finally found a way around not being at our kids ' events . I looked good & was in my element so to speak as I know the sport & many people & the ow does not . I tried to be old upbeat , self & talked to lots people I have known for years , inc all the kids competing . H came up & snidely whispered in my ear " you 're 45 , not 14 " & stormed away , got ow & came into room my son was competing to watch even though our son does n't like her or want her there . What should I think that statement means ?
 9:14 PM [ MAS ] All : I am going to go . Take care everyone , and have a good night !
 9:15 PM [ MarySarah ] All : 11sometimes I wonder why some come up empty & go from one ow to another & feel loss & others seem to be able to not only float , but swim strongly to shore & create a whole new life immediately that they refused to create in their marriage .
 9:17 PM [ swan ] MarySarah - well usually when people say something like that it is because they are embarrassed by the behavior of the person they make a comment like that to . Not to mention that your drawing attention to yourself being there alone and him with the other woman opens him up to judgment by others , he was embarrassed and probably upset with you . In his mind , the other woman was behavior appropriately and you were n't , so it gives him one more thing to accuse you of .
 9:18 PM [ swan ] Goodnight all , the room is going to close in a couple minutes , please join us again Wednesday evening .


text: You are looking at a Vintage Dallas Cowboys 1996 Taz Shirt Size X-Large. The shirt is old school and does have some light wear as seen in the pictures. The shirt is still in decent condition.

tokenized: You are looking at a Vintage Dallas Cowboys 1996 Taz Shirt Size X - Large . The shirt is old school and does have some light wear as seen in the pictures . The shirt is still in decent condition .


text:
Public charter schools provide parents with choices by untethering their child’s school from their home address. Charter schools also provide dynamic mechanisms for school innovation and evolution, as new schools rethink instructional delivery and seek to meet students’ needs and families’ preferences. Nationally, approximately 6,700 charter schools serve nearly 3 million children — or 6 percent of all U.S. public school students. In urban areas such as Washington, D.C., Newark, New Orleans, Denver, Miami, and Los Angeles, charters serve an even larger share of students. Research shows that many urban charter schools significantly outperform similar district-run schools, yet a significant number of charter schools underperform compared to traditional district schools. As the charter school sector grows, new opportunities and challenges emerge.
In our work, Bellwether seeks to foster the development of high-performing and continuously improving schools, including charter schools. This work takes many forms and bridges our strategy and policy work.
As consultants, we help education entrepreneurs and charter network leaders develop and implement plans to improve and grow, and advise city-based nonprofits that support school operators or advocate on behalf of the charter sector. As policy analysts, we research state and federal statutes and regulations to help create policy environments that foster the creation of high-quality charter schools and the closure of low-performing ones. And we provide analyses and insights to guide foundations that invest in the sector. Our on-the-ground work influences our policy work, making it stronger and more responsive to realities in the field.
Location, Location, Location: How Would a High-Performing Charter School Network Fare in Different States?

tokenized:
Public charter schools provide parents with choices by untethering their child ’s school from their home address . Charter schools also provide dynamic mechanisms for school innovation and evolution , as new schools rethink instructional delivery and seek to meet students ’ needs and families ’ preferences . Nationally , approximately 6,700 charter schools serve nearly 3 million children — or 6 percent of all U.S. public school students . In urban areas such as Washington , D.C. , Newark , New Orleans , Denver , Miami , and Los Angeles , charters serve an even larger share of students . Research shows that many urban charter schools significantly outperform similar district - run schools , yet a significant number of charter schools underperform compared to traditional district schools . As the charter school sector grows , new opportunities and challenges emerge .
 In our work , Bellwether seeks to foster the development of high - performing and continuously improving schools , including charter schools . This work takes many forms and bridges our strategy and policy work .
 As consultants , we help education entrepreneurs and charter network leaders develop and implement plans to improve and grow , and advise city - based nonprofits that support school operators or advocate on behalf of the charter sector . As policy analysts , we research state and federal statutes and regulations to help create policy environments that foster the creation of high - quality charter schools and the closure of low - performing ones . And we provide analyses and insights to guide foundations that invest in the sector . Our on - the - ground work influences our policy work , making it stronger and more responsive to realities in the field .
 Location , Location , Location : How Would a High - Performing Charter School Network Fare in Different States ?


text:
In a letter to CME stakeholders, Accreditation Council for Continuing Medical Education President and Chief Executive Officer Murray Kopelow, MD, urged CME providers to help disseminate an Ebola education package put together by the American Hospital Association.
The information, which is available on ACCME’s Ebola Education Web page, can be added to presentations or added as fact sheets for currently scheduled CME activities, Kopelow suggests. Providers also can publish them on their Web sites and e-mail them to their learner communities.
“Your use of these materials in whatever ways are appropriate for you will support the rapid dissemination of important information to a wide audience of healthcare professionals,” Kopelow said in the letter. He also asked that CME providers take a short survey so ACCME and AHA can assess how the materials are being used.

tokenized:
In a letter to CME stakeholders , Accreditation Council for Continuing Medical Education President and Chief Executive Officer Murray Kopelow , MD , urged CME providers to help disseminate an Ebola education package put together by the American Hospital Association .
 The information , which is available on ACCME ’s Ebola Education Web page , can be added to presentations or added as fact sheets for currently scheduled CME activities , Kopelow suggests . Providers also can publish them on their Web sites and e - mail them to their learner communities .
 “ Your use of these materials in whatever ways are appropriate for you will support the rapid dissemination of important information to a wide audience of healthcare professionals , ” Kopelow said in the letter . He also asked that CME providers take a short survey so ACCME and AHA can assess how the materials are being used .


text:
"For it is God's will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men. Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God."
Proverbs 16:3 ¶Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established.
>here's something that shows God's presence as written in the bible!
>been called "myth" in the Bible is true?
>and where the planets will be so the whole thing will not bog down.
>it or with the results as compared to the standards.
>Joshua's day was 23 hours and 20 minutes ... not a whole day.
> They read the Bible, and there it was about [approximately] a day.
>trouble 1000 years from now.
>remembered somewhere in the Bible where it said the sun went BACKWARDS.
>Second Kings make the missing day in the universe! Isn't it amazing?
> References: Joshua 10:8 and 12,13 and 2 Kings 20:9-11.
Sent to me by a friend .
The name of Jesus is above every name (Phil. 2:9-10). No name is as high and as exalted as the name of Jesus. Whether you hate Jesus or love Him, whether you are for Him or against Him, you realize that the name of Jesus is a special name. History tells us that during the past two thousand years, everyone has recognized that His name is the highest name, that it is an extraordinary name.
Firstly, the name of Jesus is for us to believe in (John 1:12).
The name of Jesus is for us to be baptized into (Acts 8:16; 19:5).
The name of Jesus is also for us to be saved. Acts 4:12 says, “Neither is there another name under heaven given among men in which we must be saved.” The name of Jesus has been given to us purposely that we may be saved. The name of Jesus is a saving name.
To the lame man whom he met at the gate of the temple Peter said, “Silver and gold I do not possess, but what I have, this I give to you: In the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene—walk!” (Acts 3:6). Immediately the man was healed. Then Peter said to the people, “In the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene...this man stands before you well” (Acts 4:10). This testifies that the name of Jesus is also a healing name. We may call on the name of Jesus for healing from any kind of sickness.
The name of Jesus has been given to us so that we may be washed, sanctified, and justified (1 Cor. 6:11). As defiled persons, we were washed, sanctified, and justified in the name of Jesus and by the Spirit of God. The Spirit is the Person of the name and the reality of the name.
The name of Jesus is for us to call upon (Rom. 10:13; 1 Cor. 1:2). Acts 9:14 says that Paul, when he was Saul of Tarsus, tried to damage all the saints. He intended to go from Jerusalem to Damascus to bind all those who called on the name of Jesus. This verse does not say that he was about to bind all those who prayed to Jesus, but all those who called on Jesus. By this one verse we can see that the early Christians were those who called on Jesus. Whenever they prayed, they called. They called upon the name of Jesus, and that became a mark of recognition.
We may also pray in the name of Jesus (John 14:13-14; 15:16; 16:24).
The name of Jesus is also for us to be gathered into (18:20, Greek, into). Whenever we come together to meet, we should be gathered together into the name of Jesus.
The name of Jesus is also good for casting out demons (Acts 16:18). To know the power of the name of Jesus, use it to cast out demons. Demons know the power of the name of Jesus better than we do.
The name of Jesus is for us to preach (Acts 9:27). When we preach, we must preach in the name of Jesus. Preaching in the Lord’s name must be done in the Spirit, for the Spirit is the Person of the Lord and the reality of His name. When we preach in His name, we need the Spirit to make it real.
Through all the things that can be done in the name of Jesus, we see that whatever we do and whatever we are must be in the name of Jesus. Never forget the name of Jesus. His name is a sweet name, a rich name, a powerful name, a saving name, a healing name, a comforting name, and an available name. This is the name that is exalted, honored, and respected. And it is the name feared by the enemy.
In Revelation 3:8 the Lord Jesus praised the church in Philadelphia because they did not deny His name. We should never deny the name of Jesus. We should deny every other name, but keep the name of Jesus. We must testify that we do not belong to any person or to any sect, but that we simply belong to Jesus. The name of Jesus is the only name we own.
Why do stories like this stir us so much ? The answer , I would suggest , is because this is fulfilling Christ's Law and it just doesn't happen often enough .
After supper was over I took my boots off and stretched out in front of the fireplace and waited for Pa to get down the old Bible. I was still feeling sorry for myself and, to be honest, I wasn't in much of a mood to read Scriptures. But Pa didn't get the Bible, instead he bundled up again and went outside. I couldn't figure it out because we had already done all the chores. I didn't worry about it long though, I was too busy wallowing in self-pity. Soon Pa came back in. It was a cold clear night out and there was ice in his beard. "Come on, Matt," he said. "Bundle up good, it's cold out tonight." I was really upset then. Not only wasn't I getting the rifle for Christmas, now Pa was dragging me out in the cold, and for no earthly reason that I could see. We'd already done all the chores, and I couldn't think of anything else that needed doing, especially not on a night like this. But I knew Pa was not very patient at one dragging one's feet when he'd told them to do something, so I got up and put my boots back on and got my cap, coat, and mittens. Ma gave me a mysterious smile as I opened the door to leave the house. Something was up, but I didn't know what..
Outside, I became even more dismayed. There in front of the house was the work team, already hitched to the big sled. Whatever it was we were going to do wasn't going to be a short, quick, little job. I could tell. We never hitched up this sled unless we were going to haul a big load. Pa was already up on the seat, reins in hand. I reluctantly climbed up beside him. The cold was already biting at me. I wasn't happy. When I was on, Pa pulled the sled around the house and stopped in front of the woodshed. He got off and I followed. "I think we'll put on the high sideboards," he said. "Here, help me." The high sideboards! It had been a bigger job than I wanted to do with just the low sideboards on, but whatever it was we were going to do would be a lot bigger with the high side boards on.
After we had exchanged the sideboards, Pa went into the woodshed and came out with an armload of wood - the wood I'd spent all summer hauling down from the mountain, and then all Fall sawing into blocks and splitting. What was he doing? Finally I said something. "Pa," I asked, "what are you doing?" You been by the Widow Jensen's lately?" he asked. The Widow Jensen lived about two miles down the road. Her husband had died a year or so before and left her with three children, the oldest being eight. Sure, I'd been by, but so what?
"I rode by just today," Pa said. "Little Jakey was out digging around in the woodpile trying to find a few chips. They're out of wood, Matt." That was all he said and then he turned and went back into the woodshed for another armload of wood. I followed him. We loaded the sled so high that I began to wonder if the horses would be able to pull it. Finally, Pa called a halt to our loading, then we went to the smoke house and Pa took down a big ham and a side of bacon. He handed them to me and told me to put them in the sled and wait. When he returned he was carrying a sack of flour over his right shoulder and a smaller sack of something in his left hand. "What's in the little sack?" I asked. Shoes, they're out of shoes. Little Jakey just had gunny sacks wrapped around his feet when he was out in the woodpile this morning. I got the children a little candy too. It just wouldn't be Christmas without a little candy."
We rode the two miles to Widow Jensen's pretty much in silence. I tried to think through what Pa was doing. We didn't have much by worldly standards. Of course, we did have a big woodpile, though most of what was left now was still in the form of logs that I would have to saw into blocks and split before we could use it. We also had meat and flour, some we could spare that, but I knew we didn't have any money, so why was Pa buying them shoes and candy? Really, why was he doing any of this? Widow Jensen had closer neighbors than us; it shouldn't have been our concern.
We came in from the blind side of the Jensen house and unloaded the wood as quietly as possible, then we took the meat and flour and shoes to the door. We knocked. The door opened a crack and a timid voice said, "Who is it?" "Lucas Miles, Ma'am, and my son, Matt, could we come in for a bit?"
"We brought you a few things, Ma'am," Pa said and set down the sack of flour. I put the meat on the table. Then Pa handed her the sack that had the shoes in it. She opened it hesitantly and took the shoes out one pair at a time. There was a pair for her and one for each of the children - sturdy shoes, the best, shoes that would last. I watched her carefully. She bit her lower lip to keep it from trembling and then tears filled her eyes and started running down her cheeks. She looked up at Pa like she wanted to say something, but it wouldn't come out.
"We brought a load of wood too, Ma'am," Pa said. He turned to me and said, "Matt, go bring in enough to last awhile. Let's get that fire up to size and heat this place up." I wasn't the same person when I went back out to bring in the wood. I had a big lump in my throat and as much as I hate to admit it, there were tears in my eyes too. In my mind I kept seeing those three kids huddled around the fireplace and their mother standing there with tears running down her cheeks with so much gratitude in her heart that she couldn't speak.
My heart swelled within me and a joy that I'd never known before, filled my soul. I had given at Christmas many times before, but never when it had made so much difference. I could see we were literally saving the lives of these people.
Out on the sled I felt a warmth that came from deep within and I didn't even notice the cold. When we had gone a ways, Pa turned to me and said, "Matt, I want you to know something. Your ma and me have been tucking a little money away here and there all year so we could buy that rifle for you, but we didn't have quite enough. Then yesterday a man who owed me a little money from years back came by to make things square. Your ma and me were real excited, thinking that now we could get you that rifle, and I started into town this morning to do just that, but on the way I saw little Jakey out scratching in the woodpile with his feet wrapped in those gunny sacks and I knew what I had to do. Son, I spent the money for shoes and a little candy for those children. I hope you understand."
up to meet his schedule.
the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk.
without exception, forced them to move on.
noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.
playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?
"'For the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed, but My kindness shall not depart from you, nor shall My covenant of peace be removed,' Says the Lord, who has mercy on you."

tokenized:
" For it is God 's will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men . Live as free men , but do not use your freedom as a cover - up for evil ; live as servants of God . "
 Proverbs 16:3 ¶Commit thy works unto the LORD , and thy thoughts shall be established .
 > here 's something that shows God 's presence as written in the bible !
 > been called " myth " in the Bible is true ?
 > and where the planets will be so the whole thing will not bog down .
 > it or with the results as compared to the standards .
 > Joshua 's day was 23 hours and 20 minutes ... not a whole day .
 > They read the Bible , and there it was about [ approximately ] a day .
 > trouble 1000 years from now .
 > remembered somewhere in the Bible where it said the sun went BACKWARDS .
 > Second Kings make the missing day in the universe ! Is n't it amazing ?
 > References : Joshua 10:8 and 12,13 and 2 Kings 20:9 - 11 .
 Sent to me by a friend .
 The name of Jesus is above every name ( Phil . 2:9 - 10 ) . No name is as high and as exalted as the name of Jesus . Whether you hate Jesus or love Him , whether you are for Him or against Him , you realize that the name of Jesus is a special name . History tells us that during the past two thousand years , everyone has recognized that His name is the highest name , that it is an extraordinary name .
 Firstly , the name of Jesus is for us to believe in ( John 1:12 ) .
 The name of Jesus is for us to be baptized into ( Acts 8:16 ; 19:5 ) .
 The name of Jesus is also for us to be saved . Acts 4:12 says , “ Neither is there another name under heaven given among men in which we must be saved . ” The name of Jesus has been given to us purposely that we may be saved . The name of Jesus is a saving name .
 To the lame man whom he met at the gate of the temple Peter said , “ Silver and gold I do not possess , but what I have , this I give to you : In the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene — walk ! ” ( Acts 3:6 ) . Immediately the man was healed . Then Peter said to the people , “ In the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene ... this man stands before you well ” ( Acts 4:10 ) . This testifies that the name of Jesus is also a healing name . We may call on the name of Jesus for healing from any kind of sickness .
 The name of Jesus has been given to us so that we may be washed , sanctified , and justified ( 1 Cor . 6:11 ) . As defiled persons , we were washed , sanctified , and justified in the name of Jesus and by the Spirit of God . The Spirit is the Person of the name and the reality of the name .
 The name of Jesus is for us to call upon ( Rom . 10:13 ; 1 Cor . 1:2 ) . Acts 9:14 says that Paul , when he was Saul of Tarsus , tried to damage all the saints . He intended to go from Jerusalem to Damascus to bind all those who called on the name of Jesus . This verse does not say that he was about to bind all those who prayed to Jesus , but all those who called on Jesus . By this one verse we can see that the early Christians were those who called on Jesus . Whenever they prayed , they called . They called upon the name of Jesus , and that became a mark of recognition .
 We may also pray in the name of Jesus ( John 14:13 - 14 ; 15:16 ; 16:24 ) .
 The name of Jesus is also for us to be gathered into ( 18:20 , Greek , into ) . Whenever we come together to meet , we should be gathered together into the name of Jesus .
 The name of Jesus is also good for casting out demons ( Acts 16:18 ) . To know the power of the name of Jesus , use it to cast out demons . Demons know the power of the name of Jesus better than we do .
 The name of Jesus is for us to preach ( Acts 9:27 ) . When we preach , we must preach in the name of Jesus . Preaching in the Lord ’s name must be done in the Spirit , for the Spirit is the Person of the Lord and the reality of His name . When we preach in His name , we need the Spirit to make it real .
 Through all the things that can be done in the name of Jesus , we see that whatever we do and whatever we are must be in the name of Jesus . Never forget the name of Jesus . His name is a sweet name , a rich name , a powerful name , a saving name , a healing name , a comforting name , and an available name . This is the name that is exalted , honored , and respected . And it is the name feared by the enemy .
 In Revelation 3:8 the Lord Jesus praised the church in Philadelphia because they did not deny His name . We should never deny the name of Jesus . We should deny every other name , but keep the name of Jesus . We must testify that we do not belong to any person or to any sect , but that we simply belong to Jesus . The name of Jesus is the only name we own .
 Why do stories like this stir us so much ? The answer , I would suggest , is because this is fulfilling Christ 's Law and it just does n't happen often enough .
 After supper was over I took my boots off and stretched out in front of the fireplace and waited for Pa to get down the old Bible . I was still feeling sorry for myself and , to be honest , I was n't in much of a mood to read Scriptures . But Pa did n't get the Bible , instead he bundled up again and went outside . I could n't figure it out because we had already done all the chores . I did n't worry about it long though , I was too busy wallowing in self - pity . Soon Pa came back in . It was a cold clear night out and there was ice in his beard . " Come on , Matt , " he said . " Bundle up good , it 's cold out tonight . " I was really upset then . Not only was n't I getting the rifle for Christmas , now Pa was dragging me out in the cold , and for no earthly reason that I could see . We 'd already done all the chores , and I could n't think of anything else that needed doing , especially not on a night like this . But I knew Pa was not very patient at one dragging one 's feet when he 'd told them to do something , so I got up and put my boots back on and got my cap , coat , and mittens . Ma gave me a mysterious smile as I opened the door to leave the house . Something was up , but I did n't know what ..
 Outside , I became even more dismayed . There in front of the house was the work team , already hitched to the big sled . Whatever it was we were going to do was n't going to be a short , quick , little job . I could tell . We never hitched up this sled unless we were going to haul a big load . Pa was already up on the seat , reins in hand . I reluctantly climbed up beside him . The cold was already biting at me . I was n't happy . When I was on , Pa pulled the sled around the house and stopped in front of the woodshed . He got off and I followed . " I think we 'll put on the high sideboards , " he said . " Here , help me . " The high sideboards ! It had been a bigger job than I wanted to do with just the low sideboards on , but whatever it was we were going to do would be a lot bigger with the high side boards on .
 After we had exchanged the sideboards , Pa went into the woodshed and came out with an armload of wood - the wood I 'd spent all summer hauling down from the mountain , and then all Fall sawing into blocks and splitting . What was he doing ? Finally I said something . " Pa , " I asked , " what are you doing ? " You been by the Widow Jensen 's lately ? " he asked . The Widow Jensen lived about two miles down the road . Her husband had died a year or so before and left her with three children , the oldest being eight . Sure , I 'd been by , but so what ?
 " I rode by just today , " Pa said . " Little Jakey was out digging around in the woodpile trying to find a few chips . They 're out of wood , Matt . " That was all he said and then he turned and went back into the woodshed for another armload of wood . I followed him . We loaded the sled so high that I began to wonder if the horses would be able to pull it . Finally , Pa called a halt to our loading , then we went to the smoke house and Pa took down a big ham and a side of bacon . He handed them to me and told me to put them in the sled and wait . When he returned he was carrying a sack of flour over his right shoulder and a smaller sack of something in his left hand . " What 's in the little sack ? " I asked . Shoes , they 're out of shoes . Little Jakey just had gunny sacks wrapped around his feet when he was out in the woodpile this morning . I got the children a little candy too . It just would n't be Christmas without a little candy . "
 We rode the two miles to Widow Jensen 's pretty much in silence . I tried to think through what Pa was doing . We did n't have much by worldly standards . Of course , we did have a big woodpile , though most of what was left now was still in the form of logs that I would have to saw into blocks and split before we could use it . We also had meat and flour , some we could spare that , but I knew we did n't have any money , so why was Pa buying them shoes and candy ? Really , why was he doing any of this ? Widow Jensen had closer neighbors than us ; it should n't have been our concern .
 We came in from the blind side of the Jensen house and unloaded the wood as quietly as possible , then we took the meat and flour and shoes to the door . We knocked . The door opened a crack and a timid voice said , " Who is it ? " " Lucas Miles , Ma'am , and my son , Matt , could we come in for a bit ? "
 " We brought you a few things , Ma'am , " Pa said and set down the sack of flour . I put the meat on the table . Then Pa handed her the sack that had the shoes in it . She opened it hesitantly and took the shoes out one pair at a time . There was a pair for her and one for each of the children - sturdy shoes , the best , shoes that would last . I watched her carefully . She bit her lower lip to keep it from trembling and then tears filled her eyes and started running down her cheeks . She looked up at Pa like she wanted to say something , but it would n't come out .
 " We brought a load of wood too , Ma'am , " Pa said . He turned to me and said , " Matt , go bring in enough to last awhile . Let 's get that fire up to size and heat this place up . " I was n't the same person when I went back out to bring in the wood . I had a big lump in my throat and as much as I hate to admit it , there were tears in my eyes too . In my mind I kept seeing those three kids huddled around the fireplace and their mother standing there with tears running down her cheeks with so much gratitude in her heart that she could n't speak .
 My heart swelled within me and a joy that I 'd never known before , filled my soul . I had given at Christmas many times before , but never when it had made so much difference . I could see we were literally saving the lives of these people .
 Out on the sled I felt a warmth that came from deep within and I did n't even notice the cold . When we had gone a ways , Pa turned to me and said , " Matt , I want you to know something . Your ma and me have been tucking a little money away here and there all year so we could buy that rifle for you , but we did n't have quite enough . Then yesterday a man who owed me a little money from years back came by to make things square . Your ma and me were real excited , thinking that now we could get you that rifle , and I started into town this morning to do just that , but on the way I saw little Jakey out scratching in the woodpile with his feet wrapped in those gunny sacks and I knew what I had to do . Son , I spent the money for shoes and a little candy for those children . I hope you understand . "
 up to meet his schedule .
 the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk .
 without exception , forced them to move on .
 noticed it . No one applauded , nor was there any recognition .
 playing the best music ever written , how many other things are we missing ?
 " ' For the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed , but My kindness shall not depart from you , nor shall My covenant of peace be removed , ' Says the Lord , who has mercy on you . "


text:
Mavis Windsor's practicum concerns the inherent relationship of the Heiltsuk Nation and the wild salmon from a conservation and social perspective. Mavis Windsor was raised on the Heiltsuk Reservation in British Columbia, and thus sought to examine how the Heiltsuk Nation should move forward together in a respectful and honorable way. In her study, she recounts the history of the Heiltsuk in the pre-contact era as a tribal group with a distinctive culture. Due to the Heiltsuk Nation's location on the central coast of British Columbia, over time the Heiltsuk people developed a traditional system of ecological knowledge that embodied the use and conservation of land resources, including the wild salmon. Windsor highlights the importance of the wild salmon as a social tool for the transfer of Heiltsuk values as well as its role as a communal food sustenance. In addition, Windsor discusses the challenges associated with cultural identity, pointing out that the Heiltsuk culture has survived despite socioeconomic problems and underrepresentation in government. In conclusion, Windsor suggests the Heiltsuk Nation retake control of their history that has been driven and written by "non - Heiltsuk" over the past 200 years.
In this practicum study, Kelly Brown discusses the Heiltsuk National Land Use Plan and the Bella Bella Fish Plant Business, two initiatives undertaken by the Heiltsuk Nation in British Columbia to empower the local community to take ownership of the regulation of their natural resources and development. Using SEED-SCALE methodology, Brown addresses the challenges faced in his community, including postcolonialism, economic development, and engaging the community. He concludes that in order for the Heiltsuk people to begin progressing as a healthy sustained community, they must stay focused on sustaining their health and economy by following through with the Heiltsuk National Land Use Plan and Bella Bella Fish Plant Business. This includes identifying proper experts to implement the plans and proper government officials to work with. Brown believes that the Heiltsuk people will achieve a sustainable community model if the aforementioned recommendations are addressed.

tokenized:
Mavis Windsor 's practicum concerns the inherent relationship of the Heiltsuk Nation and the wild salmon from a conservation and social perspective . Mavis Windsor was raised on the Heiltsuk Reservation in British Columbia , and thus sought to examine how the Heiltsuk Nation should move forward together in a respectful and honorable way . In her study , she recounts the history of the Heiltsuk in the pre - contact era as a tribal group with a distinctive culture . Due to the Heiltsuk Nation 's location on the central coast of British Columbia , over time the Heiltsuk people developed a traditional system of ecological knowledge that embodied the use and conservation of land resources , including the wild salmon . Windsor highlights the importance of the wild salmon as a social tool for the transfer of Heiltsuk values as well as its role as a communal food sustenance . In addition , Windsor discusses the challenges associated with cultural identity , pointing out that the Heiltsuk culture has survived despite socioeconomic problems and underrepresentation in government . In conclusion , Windsor suggests the Heiltsuk Nation retake control of their history that has been driven and written by " non - Heiltsuk " over the past 200 years .
 In this practicum study , Kelly Brown discusses the Heiltsuk National Land Use Plan and the Bella Bella Fish Plant Business , two initiatives undertaken by the Heiltsuk Nation in British Columbia to empower the local community to take ownership of the regulation of their natural resources and development . Using SEED - SCALE methodology , Brown addresses the challenges faced in his community , including postcolonialism , economic development , and engaging the community . He concludes that in order for the Heiltsuk people to begin progressing as a healthy sustained community , they must stay focused on sustaining their health and economy by following through with the Heiltsuk National Land Use Plan and Bella Bella Fish Plant Business . This includes identifying proper experts to implement the plans and proper government officials to work with . Brown believes that the Heiltsuk people will achieve a sustainable community model if the aforementioned recommendations are addressed .


text:
Red Light Panda is creating content you must be 18+ to view. Are you 18 years of age or older?
Hello everyone. I am the Red light panda. I'm a indy game maker who could use your help with money. What will happen with the payments will go to stuff like computer parts to build better set ups and so on for better work loads and also pay for helpers that will help me out on making games ranging for NSFW to E rated games.
Access to Builds a week before public postings.
Unlock some Concept art to current projects.
Just to let me know where getting some where.

tokenized:
Red Light Panda is creating content you must be 18 + to view . Are you 18 years of age or older ?
 Hello everyone . I am the Red light panda . I 'm a indy game maker who could use your help with money . What will happen with the payments will go to stuff like computer parts to build better set ups and so on for better work loads and also pay for helpers that will help me out on making games ranging for NSFW to E rated games .
 Access to Builds a week before public postings .
 Unlock some Concept art to current projects .
 Just to let me know where getting some where .