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Indictments found and returned in the Superior Court Department on April 18, 2014.
A proceeding for revocation of probation was had before Cornelius J. Moriarty, II, J.
Robert A. O’Meara for the defendant.
SACKS, J. The defendant appeals from a Superior Court order, entered after hearing, that revoked her probation. The judge found that the defendant had violated her probation conditions by failing to make required weekly restitution payments and violating a no-contact condition by contacting a newspaper to make a threat against the victim, who then saw it published in an article in the newspaper. The judge sentenced her to from three and one-half to five years in State prison. We affirm.
Background. On July 17, 2015, the defendant pleaded guilty to one count of larceny over $ 250, involving embezzlement from her brother’s (victim) construction business in Brockton, where she had worked as a bookkeeper. The defendant had been indicted on sixteen charges; at the time of her guilty plea, the remaining fifteen charges were dismissed. The judge sentenced her to five years of probation, with conditions, among others, that she: (1) make restitution to the victim of $ 103,753.64, which the judge stated was “a substantial break off of what was . . . allegedly stolen,” to be paid at the rate of $ 1000 per week; (2) stay away from the victim’s residence and place of employment, and have no “direct or indirect contact” with him, his wife, or their children; and (3) execute a financial affidavit “stating that there are no available funds remaining from [her 2012] lottery winnings and no other funds or monies available.” After having been given a weekend to consider this disposition, the defendant had represented to the judge that she was able to pay the $ 1000 weekly amount. The defendant signed, thereby agreeing to obey, the order of probation conditions.
Four days later, on July 21, the defendant filed her financial affidavit, in which she stated that she had exhausted her $ 455,000 in lottery winnings. In the affidavit the defendant failed, however, to account for $ 81,000 of those winnings, and did not assert any inability to pay the restitution as ordered and agreed.
On August 14, the defendant was issued a notice of surrender and hearing for alleged violations of probation (notice of probation violation) alleging that she had violated two probation conditions: failure to make restitution payments and violation of the no-contact condition.
At an initial probation violation hearing on August 17, a probation officer represented that the defendant had made the first restitution payment, due July 24, but had missed the payments due July 31 and August 7, and made only a partial payment on August 15. The probation officer further represented that the defendant had violated the no-contact condition by making comments about the victim in an article that appeared on July 28 in a local newspaper, the Enterprise. Defense counsel then informed the judge that the defendant had lost her job. The judge (who had been the sentencing judge) expressed concern that the defendant, so soon after receiving a relatively lenient disposition of which the carefully-considered and agreed-upon restitution condition was a significant component, had apparently violated that condition. He ordered the defendant held without bail pending a final probation violation hearing.
The probation officer then represented to the judge that, before the defendant signed the probation conditions, he had reviewed them with her “starting from the first condition all the way to the final signature.” He had also “specifically instructed [her], no contact with the victim, direct or indirect,” and advised her that she “[could not] have a friend talk for her, have a letter written to another person and have that letter find its way back to the [victim]. It was very clear what third party [indirect] contact was.” The probation officer had also represented, again, that the defendant had not made all required restitution payments.
At that point in the hearing, the judge stated that he was treating the probation officer’s statements as evidence and asked defense counsel if he wished to cross-examine the probation officer or offer any evidence for the defendant. Defense counsel declined both invitations. He limited his closing argument to asserting that the defendant had a constitutional right to make comments about the victim in the newspaper, in order to defend her reputation against his prior remarks about her in the same newspaper.
The judge rejected the defendant’s free speech argument and found that she had violated the no-contact condition of her probation by “issuing [the victim] a threat.” With respect to restitution, the judge found: “[S]he has not paid the money that she promised to pay. And I have no evidence before me that it is impossible for her to pay the money.” Consequently, he vacated the order of probation and asked for the probation officer’s recommendation as to disposition.
“[T]he court was quite clear with its concern with regarding this order. That the court wanted to make the [victim] whole and was going to take any attempt to make him whole. . . . And as the article suggests, [the defendant] didn’t accept responsibility. And if that’s the case, Your Honor, placing her on probation again is not going to drive that point home any clearer than it would have been on the day that contract was signed.
Defense counsel asked that the defendant be reprobated.
The judge then reviewed the defendant’s record, which included being placed on probation in 1999 for an attempted larceny conviction; in 2005 after charges of larceny over $ 250, uttering, and forgery were continued without a finding; in 2013 for two larceny by check convictions; and for a different larceny over $ 250 conviction. The judge stated, “She’s been placed on probation quite a few times . . .[and] it was very compassionate of her brother[,] who has been the victim of this, not to request jail time.” Yet, he continued, after she had been given time to carefully consider her plea and had agreed that she could make the required weekly payment, she “makes one payment and that’s it . . . [a]nd then takes it to the press, which is what she did, to threaten her brother.” The judge sentenced the defendant to a term of three and one-half to five years in State prison.
Discussion. 1. Failure to make restitution. The judge, who had also accepted the defendant’s guilty plea, had ample evidence to support his finding, by a preponderance of the evidence, that the defendant did not make the required restitution payments and thus had violated that condition of her probation. See Commonwealth v. Durling, 407 Mass. 108, 111-112 (1990). We reject the defendant’s argument, under Commonwealth v. Henry, 475 Mass. 117 (2016), that the judge abused his discretion by failing to consider, at the final probation violation hearing, the defendant’s claimed inability — unsupported by any evidence — to make the payments. Under Henry, at a restitution hearing, “[w]here a defendant claims that he or she is unable to pay the full amount of the victim’s economic loss, the defendant bears the burden of proving an inability to pay.” Id. at 121. Nothing in Henry, which requires that a judge determine the extent of a defendant’s ability to make restitution, required the judge here, in the absence of any new evidence on the point, to look behind the defendant’s own original representation and agreement that she was able to pay the specified amounts. See id. at 118, 121.
Under Henry, “[t]he defendant may be required to report to his or her probation officer any change in the defendant’s ability to pay, and the probation officer may petition the judge to modify the condition of probation . . . based on any material change in the probationer’s financial circumstances.” Id. at 126. Here, however, instead of reporting any changed circumstance to her probation officer pursuant to Henry, or seeking modification of probation conditions, the defendant simply failed to make the payments that she had agreed a few weeks earlier she could make, and then, once charged with the violation of that probation condition, she offered no actual evidence of her inability to make the payments. See Commonwealth v. Avram A., 83 Mass. App. Ct. 208, 210, 211-214 (2013) (affirming finding that juvenile had violated restitution condition of probation, where juvenile offered no evidence of inability to pay, other than evidence of small bank account, out of which he had made no payments).
We do not agree with the defendant’s claim that she presented such evidence by means of her previously-filed financial affidavit; nowhere within it did she state that she was unable to make the payments. Nor did the defendant support her motion to modify probation conditions, which she filed more than two weeks after the notice of probation violation had issued and which was denied on September 11, with any affidavit or other evidence of inability to pay; the assertions of her counsel are not evidence. See id. at 212.
Section 6(B) of the Guidelines for Probation Violation Proceedings in the Superior Court (2016), http://www.mass.gov/service-details/guidelines-for-probation-violation-proceedings-in-the-superior-court [https://perma.cc/FP63-D6UE], governing final probation violation hearings, codifies preexisting practice by calling for an evidentiary hearing. See, e.g., Commonwealth v. Ventura, 465 Mass. 202, 203-204 (2013). A judge conducting such a hearing, no less than the probationer, is entitled to require evidence of an alleged violation, as well as evidence of any defense thereto. Here the defendant offered no evidence at all in support of her defense of inability to pay restitution.
We therefore see no error in the judge’s finding that the defendant violated the restitution condition of probation, including his implicit finding that the nonpayment was wilful, as is required for the nonpayment to warrant revocation. See Henry, 475 Mass. at 121, 124 n.6.
Violation of no-contact condition. The defendant argues that the judge violated the defendant’s free speech rights under the Federal and State constitutions when he found that she had violated the no-contact condition by making statements about the victim in an article published in a newspaper. She contends that she was not attempting to contact the victim, but was merely exercising her right to free speech in a public forum by responding to the victim’s disparaging remarks that appeared in an earlier article in the same newspaper. On these specific facts, we disagree.
The defendant’s constitutional argument is that her statements to the newspaper, because they did not constitute a constitutionally unprotected “true threat,” could not be viewed as violating the no-contact condition. Although the defendant is correct that her remarks were not a “true threat,” she overlooks an important principle governing a probation condition such as hers.
“Judges are permitted significant latitude in imposing conditions of probation, . . . and ‘[a] probation condition is not necessarily invalid simply because it affects a probationer’s ability to exercise constitutionally protected rights.’” Commonwealth v. Rousseau, 465 Mass. 372, 389-390 (2013) (quotation omitted). Courts have previously upheld conditions of probation that affect First Amendment rights so long as they are “reasonably related to a valid probation purpose.” Commonwealth v. Power, 420 Mass. 410, 417 (1995), cert. denied, 516 U.S. 1042 (1996). See Commonwealth v. Obi, 475 Mass. 541, 547-548 (2016). “The principal goals of probation are rehabilitation of the defendant and protection of the public.” Commonwealth v. Lapointe, 435 Mass. 455, 459 (2001). Accord Rousseau, 465 Mass. at 390. A probation condition forbidding contact with, including threats to, the victim has a clear rational relationship to both of these goals: encouraging the defendant’s acceptance of responsibility for the crime and protecting the victim, as a member of the public, from further harm, whether emotional, physical, or financial, at the hands of the defendant. The defendant does not argue that these are not valid goals, or that the no-contact condition, as applied here, trenched more broadly on her free speech rights than necessary to achieve these goals.
Conclusion. The judge did not err in revoking the defendant’s probation based on his well-supported findings that the defendant had violated her probation conditions by failing to adhere to the restitution payment schedule and the terms of the no-contact condition.
 Based on the defendant’s unrebutted representation that, while incarcerated, she had deposited her notice of appeal with prison authorities for mailing within the time to appeal, we conclude that her appeal is timely. See Commonwealth v. Hartsgrove, 407 Mass. 441, 446-447 (1990).
 In 2012, the defendant had won the Massachusetts lottery and received, after taxes, a check for $ 455,000.
 Earlier in the hearing, defense counsel repeated his assertion that the defendant had lost her job, but he never introduced any evidence to that effect or stated that it had occurred before she failed to make two of her weekly restitution payments. The assistant district attorney assisting the probation officer stated in his closing argument: “[Y]ou may recall during the course of the sentencing hearing [following the plea], she represented that she worked for N&J Bookkeeping, which is her own company, not a company that she could conceivably be fired from. And now she’s claiming that’s why she can’t pay the money that she’s promised to pay.” Defense counsel responded, “[M]y client informs me that she does not own the business which she was fired from.” The judge did not make a finding on the issue, nor does the record contain a transcript of the plea or sentencing hearing.
 On appeal, the defendant challenges only the findings of violations, not the resulting disposition. Once a violation is found, “[h]ow best to deal with the probationer is within the judge’s discretion.” Commonwealth v. Durling, 407 Mass. 108, 111 (1990).
“A final violation hearing shall consist of two parts: (1) an evidentiary hearing to adjudicate whether the alleged violation has occurred; and (2) upon a finding of violation, a dispositional hearing. . . .
 As the Supreme Judicial Court has recently observed, “wilfulness” does not “have a consistent meaning in our jurisprudence.” Millis Pub. Schs. v. M.P., 478 Mass. 767, 776 (2018). “[S]ome definitions focus on the actor’s purpose, while others focus only on whether the actor’s conduct was voluntary or intentional.” Ibid. We read Henry, and the decisions it relies upon, as indicating that violation of a probation condition involving the payment of money is wilful where the probationer has not shown an inability to pay or that the nonpayment was without fault or otherwise justified. Henry, 475 Mass. at 121-122, citing Bearden v. Georgia, 461 U.S. 660, 669 n.10 (1983). See Commonwealth v. Gomes, 407 Mass. 206, 212-213 (1990). See also Commonwealth v. Canadyan, 458 Mass. 574, 578-579 (2010). The Henry court also cited Avram A., 83 Mass. App. Ct. at 212-213, as a case involving a wilful violation. Henry, 475 Mass. at 124 n.6. In short, as stated in Henry, “the defendant bears the burden of proving an inability to pay.” Id. at 121.
 “The United States Supreme Court has defined ‘true threats’ as ‘those statements where the speaker means to communicate a serious expression of an intent to commit an act of unlawful violence to a particular individual or group of individuals.’” Commonwealth v. Walters, 472 Mass. 680, 690-691 (2015), quoting from Virginia v. Black, 538 U.S. 343, 359 (2003) (Black). O’Brien v. Borowski, 461 Mass. 415, 423-424 (2012). The First Amendment “permits a State to ban a ‘true threat.’” Black, 538 U.S. at 359, citing Watts v. United States, 394 U.S. 705, 708 (1969) (per curiam).
 If, for example, a reporter had randomly stopped the defendant on the street to ask her view on some unrelated matter of public interest, and the defendant’s response had been published in a newspaper and thereby come to the victim’s attention, even foreseeably, a different case would be presented.
 The defendant nevertheless argues that there was insufficient proof of her intent to make a threat; she notes that a conviction under the threat component of the criminal stalking statute, G. L. c. 265, § 43(a)(2), requires proof of intent both to place the victim in fear and to communicate a threat to the victim. See Walters, 472 Mass. at 692-693. But the defendant does not explain why those intent requirements, which serve in part to confine the reach of the stalking statute to constitutionally-unprotected “true threats,” id. at 691-692, should apply in the context of an alleged violation of a no-contact condition of probation, where a defendant’s constitutional rights are subject to reasonable restrictions. We think the cases concerning no-contact provisions of G. L. c. 209A orders are a better source of guidance. See, e.g., Kendrick, 446 Mass. at 76 (defendant violates no-contact provision of G. L. c. 209A order by communicating by any means with protected person; proof of intent to violate order is not required, but defendant could not be found in violation if he neither knew nor reasonably should have known that his conduct would result in contact with protected person). See also Commonwealth v. Silva, 431 Mass. 194, 200 (2000) (proof of intent to violate G. L. c. 209A order not required; proof that act constituting violation was voluntary suffices).

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indictments found and returned in the superior court department on april 18, 2014.
a proceeding for revocation of probation was had before cornelius j. moriarty, ii, j.
robert a. o’meara for the defendant.
sacks, j. the defendant appeals from a superior court order, entered after hearing, that revoked her probation. the judge found that the defendant had violated her probation conditions by failing to make required weekly restitution payments and violating a no-contact condition by contacting a newspaper to make a threat against the victim, who then saw it published in an article in the newspaper. the judge sentenced her to from three and one-half to five years in state prison. we affirm.
background. on july 17, 2015, the defendant pleaded guilty to one count of larceny over $ 250, involving embezzlement from her brother’s (victim) construction business in brockton, where she had worked as a bookkeeper. the defendant had been indicted on sixteen charges; at the time of her guilty plea, the remaining fifteen charges were dismissed. the judge sentenced her to five years of probation, with conditions, among others, that she: (1) make restitution to the victim of $ 103,753.64, which the judge stated was “a substantial break off of what was . . . allegedly stolen,” to be paid at the rate of $ 1000 per week; (2) stay away from the victim’s residence and place of employment, and have no “direct or indirect contact” with him, his wife, or their children; and (3) execute a financial affidavit “stating that there are no available funds remaining from [her 2012] lottery winnings and no other funds or monies available.” after having been given a weekend to consider this disposition, the defendant had represented to the judge that she was able to pay the $ 1000 weekly amount. the defendant signed, thereby agreeing to obey, the order of probation conditions.
four days later, on july 21, the defendant filed her financial affidavit, in which she stated that she had exhausted her $ 455,000 in lottery winnings. in the affidavit the defendant failed, however, to account for $ 81,000 of those winnings, and did not assert any inability to pay the restitution as ordered and agreed.
on august 14, the defendant was issued a notice of surrender and hearing for alleged violations of probation (notice of probation violation) alleging that she had violated two probation conditions: failure to make restitution payments and violation of the no-contact condition.
at an initial probation violation hearing on august 17, a probation officer represented that the defendant had made the first restitution payment, due july 24, but had missed the payments due july 31 and august 7, and made only a partial payment on august 15. the probation officer further represented that the defendant had violated the no-contact condition by making comments about the victim in an article that appeared on july 28 in a local newspaper, the enterprise. defense counsel then informed the judge that the defendant had lost her job. the judge (who had been the sentencing judge) expressed concern that the defendant, so soon after receiving a relatively lenient disposition of which the carefully-considered and agreed-upon restitution condition was a significant component, had apparently violated that condition. he ordered the defendant held without bail pending a final probation violation hearing.
the probation officer then represented to the judge that, before the defendant signed the probation conditions, he had reviewed them with her “starting from the first condition all the way to the final signature.” he had also “specifically instructed [her], no contact with the victim, direct or indirect,” and advised her that she “[could not] have a friend talk for her, have a letter written to another person and have that letter find its way back to the [victim]. it was very clear what third party [indirect] contact was.” the probation officer had also represented, again, that the defendant had not made all required restitution payments.
at that point in the hearing, the judge stated that he was treating the probation officer’s statements as evidence and asked defense counsel if he wished to cross-examine the probation officer or offer any evidence for the defendant. defense counsel declined both invitations. he limited his closing argument to asserting that the defendant had a constitutional right to make comments about the victim in the newspaper, in order to defend her reputation against his prior remarks about her in the same newspaper.
the judge rejected the defendant’s free speech argument and found that she had violated the no-contact condition of her probation by “issuing [the victim] a threat.” with respect to restitution, the judge found: “[s]he has not paid the money that she promised to pay. and i have no evidence before me that it is impossible for her to pay the money.” consequently, he vacated the order of probation and asked for the probation officer’s recommendation as to disposition.
“[t]he court was quite clear with its concern with regarding this order. that the court wanted to make the [victim] whole and was going to take any attempt to make him whole. . . . and as the article suggests, [the defendant] didn’t accept responsibility. and if that’s the case, your honor, placing her on probation again is not going to drive that point home any clearer than it would have been on the day that contract was signed.
defense counsel asked that the defendant be reprobated.
the judge then reviewed the defendant’s record, which included being placed on probation in 1999 for an attempted larceny conviction; in 2005 after charges of larceny over $ 250, uttering, and forgery were continued without a finding; in 2013 for two larceny by check convictions; and for a different larceny over $ 250 conviction. the judge stated, “she’s been placed on probation quite a few times . . .[and] it was very compassionate of her brother[,] who has been the victim of this, not to request jail time.” yet, he continued, after she had been given time to carefully consider her plea and had agreed that she could make the required weekly payment, she “makes one payment and that’s it . . . [a]nd then takes it to the press, which is what she did, to threaten her brother.” the judge sentenced the defendant to a term of three and one-half to five years in state prison.
discussion. 1. failure to make restitution. the judge, who had also accepted the defendant’s guilty plea, had ample evidence to support his finding, by a preponderance of the evidence, that the defendant did not make the required restitution payments and thus had violated that condition of her probation. see commonwealth v. durling, 407 mass. 108, 111-112 (1990). we reject the defendant’s argument, under commonwealth v. henry, 475 mass. 117 (2016), that the judge abused his discretion by failing to consider, at the final probation violation hearing, the defendant’s claimed inability — unsupported by any evidence — to make the payments. under henry, at a restitution hearing, “[w]here a defendant claims that he or she is unable to pay the full amount of the victim’s economic loss, the defendant bears the burden of proving an inability to pay.” id. at 121. nothing in henry, which requires that a judge determine the extent of a defendant’s ability to make restitution, required the judge here, in the absence of any new evidence on the point, to look behind the defendant’s own original representation and agreement that she was able to pay the specified amounts. see id. at 118, 121.
under henry, “[t]he defendant may be required to report to his or her probation officer any change in the defendant’s ability to pay, and the probation officer may petition the judge to modify the condition of probation . . . based on any material change in the probationer’s financial circumstances.” id. at 126. here, however, instead of reporting any changed circumstance to her probation officer pursuant to henry, or seeking modification of probation conditions, the defendant simply failed to make the payments that she had agreed a few weeks earlier she could make, and then, once charged with the violation of that probation condition, she offered no actual evidence of her inability to make the payments. see commonwealth v. avram a., 83 mass. app. ct. 208, 210, 211-214 (2013) (affirming finding that juvenile had violated restitution condition of probation, where juvenile offered no evidence of inability to pay, other than evidence of small bank account, out of which he had made no payments).
we do not agree with the defendant’s claim that she presented such evidence by means of her previously-filed financial affidavit; nowhere within it did she state that she was unable to make the payments. nor did the defendant support her motion to modify probation conditions, which she filed more than two weeks after the notice of probation violation had issued and which was denied on september 11, with any affidavit or other evidence of inability to pay; the assertions of her counsel are not evidence. see id. at 212.
section 6(b) of the guidelines for probation violation proceedings in the superior court (2016), http://www.mass.gov/service-details/guidelines-for-probation-violation-proceedings-in-the-superior-court [https://perma.cc/fp63-d6ue], governing final probation violation hearings, codifies preexisting practice by calling for an evidentiary hearing. see, e.g., commonwealth v. ventura, 465 mass. 202, 203-204 (2013). a judge conducting such a hearing, no less than the probationer, is entitled to require evidence of an alleged violation, as well as evidence of any defense thereto. here the defendant offered no evidence at all in support of her defense of inability to pay restitution.
we therefore see no error in the judge’s finding that the defendant violated the restitution condition of probation, including his implicit finding that the nonpayment was wilful, as is required for the nonpayment to warrant revocation. see henry, 475 mass. at 121, 124 n.6.
violation of no-contact condition. the defendant argues that the judge violated the defendant’s free speech rights under the federal and state constitutions when he found that she had violated the no-contact condition by making statements about the victim in an article published in a newspaper. she contends that she was not attempting to contact the victim, but was merely exercising her right to free speech in a public forum by responding to the victim’s disparaging remarks that appeared in an earlier article in the same newspaper. on these specific facts, we disagree.
the defendant’s constitutional argument is that her statements to the newspaper, because they did not constitute a constitutionally unprotected “true threat,” could not be viewed as violating the no-contact condition. although the defendant is correct that her remarks were not a “true threat,” she overlooks an important principle governing a probation condition such as hers.
“judges are permitted significant latitude in imposing conditions of probation, . . . and ‘[a] probation condition is not necessarily invalid simply because it affects a probationer’s ability to exercise constitutionally protected rights.’” commonwealth v. rousseau, 465 mass. 372, 389-390 (2013) (quotation omitted). courts have previously upheld conditions of probation that affect first amendment rights so long as they are “reasonably related to a valid probation purpose.” commonwealth v. power, 420 mass. 410, 417 (1995), cert. denied, 516 u.s. 1042 (1996). see commonwealth v. obi, 475 mass. 541, 547-548 (2016). “the principal goals of probation are rehabilitation of the defendant and protection of the public.” commonwealth v. lapointe, 435 mass. 455, 459 (2001). accord rousseau, 465 mass. at 390. a probation condition forbidding contact with, including threats to, the victim has a clear rational relationship to both of these goals: encouraging the defendant’s acceptance of responsibility for the crime and protecting the victim, as a member of the public, from further harm, whether emotional, physical, or financial, at the hands of the defendant. the defendant does not argue that these are not valid goals, or that the no-contact condition, as applied here, trenched more broadly on her free speech rights than necessary to achieve these goals.
conclusion. the judge did not err in revoking the defendant’s probation based on his well-supported findings that the defendant had violated her probation conditions by failing to adhere to the restitution payment schedule and the terms of the no-contact condition.
 based on the defendant’s unrebutted representation that, while incarcerated, she had deposited her notice of appeal with prison authorities for mailing within the time to appeal, we conclude that her appeal is timely. see commonwealth v. hartsgrove, 407 mass. 441, 446-447 (1990).
 in 2012, the defendant had won the massachusetts lottery and received, after taxes, a check for $ 455,000.
 earlier in the hearing, defense counsel repeated his assertion that the defendant had lost her job, but he never introduced any evidence to that effect or stated that it had occurred before she failed to make two of her weekly restitution payments. the assistant district attorney assisting the probation officer stated in his closing argument: “[y]ou may recall during the course of the sentencing hearing [following the plea], she represented that she worked for n&j bookkeeping, which is her own company, not a company that she could conceivably be fired from. and now she’s claiming that’s why she can’t pay the money that she’s promised to pay.” defense counsel responded, “[m]y client informs me that she does not own the business which she was fired from.” the judge did not make a finding on the issue, nor does the record contain a transcript of the plea or sentencing hearing.
 on appeal, the defendant challenges only the findings of violations, not the resulting disposition. once a violation is found, “[h]ow best to deal with the probationer is within the judge’s discretion.” commonwealth v. durling, 407 mass. 108, 111 (1990).
“a final violation hearing shall consist of two parts: (1) an evidentiary hearing to adjudicate whether the alleged violation has occurred; and (2) upon a finding of violation, a dispositional hearing. . . .
 as the supreme judicial court has recently observed, “wilfulness” does not “have a consistent meaning in our jurisprudence.” millis pub. schs. v. m.p., 478 mass. 767, 776 (2018). “[s]ome definitions focus on the actor’s purpose, while others focus only on whether the actor’s conduct was voluntary or intentional.” ibid. we read henry, and the decisions it relies upon, as indicating that violation of a probation condition involving the payment of money is wilful where the probationer has not shown an inability to pay or that the nonpayment was without fault or otherwise justified. henry, 475 mass. at 121-122, citing bearden v. georgia, 461 u.s. 660, 669 n.10 (1983). see commonwealth v. gomes, 407 mass. 206, 212-213 (1990). see also commonwealth v. canadyan, 458 mass. 574, 578-579 (2010). the henry court also cited avram a., 83 mass. app. ct. at 212-213, as a case involving a wilful violation. henry, 475 mass. at 124 n.6. in short, as stated in henry, “the defendant bears the burden of proving an inability to pay.” id. at 121.
 “the united states supreme court has defined ‘true threats’ as ‘those statements where the speaker means to communicate a serious expression of an intent to commit an act of unlawful violence to a particular individual or group of individuals.’” commonwealth v. walters, 472 mass. 680, 690-691 (2015), quoting from virginia v. black, 538 u.s. 343, 359 (2003) (black). o’brien v. borowski, 461 mass. 415, 423-424 (2012). the first amendment “permits a state to ban a ‘true threat.’” black, 538 u.s. at 359, citing watts v. united states, 394 u.s. 705, 708 (1969) (per curiam).
 if, for example, a reporter had randomly stopped the defendant on the street to ask her view on some unrelated matter of public interest, and the defendant’s response had been published in a newspaper and thereby come to the victim’s attention, even foreseeably, a different case would be presented.
 the defendant nevertheless argues that there was insufficient proof of her intent to make a threat; she notes that a conviction under the threat component of the criminal stalking statute, g. l. c. 265, § 43(a)(2), requires proof of intent both to place the victim in fear and to communicate a threat to the victim. see walters, 472 mass. at 692-693. but the defendant does not explain why those intent requirements, which serve in part to confine the reach of the stalking statute to constitutionally-unprotected “true threats,” id. at 691-692, should apply in the context of an alleged violation of a no-contact condition of probation, where a defendant’s constitutional rights are subject to reasonable restrictions. we think the cases concerning no-contact provisions of g. l. c. 209a orders are a better source of guidance. see, e.g., kendrick, 446 mass. at 76 (defendant violates no-contact provision of g. l. c. 209a order by communicating by any means with protected person; proof of intent to violate order is not required, but defendant could not be found in violation if he neither knew nor reasonably should have known that his conduct would result in contact with protected person). see also commonwealth v. silva, 431 mass. 194, 200 (2000) (proof of intent to violate g. l. c. 209a order not required; proof that act constituting violation was voluntary suffices).


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designed to reflect the colonial heritage, the club house portrays an image of old world charm. the club house sits amongst the rolling fairways of the golf course, a fairytale setting.
please visit their website http://www.ahcc.net.au to obtain more information about their amazing services.


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silent snow t-shirt: help us spread the message of silent snow and buy the dvd and wear this 100% eco cotton t-shirt as a sign of protest! available in s – m – l. design: studiospass.
short trailer film: 14 min. short trailer film silent snow (2007). two girls in northern greenland are traveling to a disappearing village where one of them still lives. against a background of melting ice they discuss the pollution which is not only dramatically changing their lives, but threatening the entire world.
subtitles in: kalaallissut, english, nederlands, deutch, français, español. please click here to watch the 3 min. trailer.
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The key is, I miss the concept of having family at the Seder table. It’s a beautiful, sentimental idea that belongs with Pesach, like it was written into the script. But I don’t miss having my family at the Seder table, or my husband’s family either for that matter. That’s when the rosy picture breaks down. When I wrote the book, “What Do You Mean, You Can’t Eat in My Home, a Guide for Newly Observant Jews and Their Lesser Observant Family Members,” I had a conundrum when I got to the chapter on Pesach. First I tackled Pesach as a cheerleader: You can do it, you can have Seders even in your mother’s non-observant home, or you can join together with your secular sister and her kids. Here’s how! And for some families, these compromises and adjustments are a small price to pay for the pleasure of being with family on Pesach, and it is a goal that can be accomplished and relished. To those families who have figured out how to bring together observant and non-observant (or lesser observant) families at the Sederim, G-d bless you. In some families, compromises won’t work, and true harmony is only reached by making a mutual decision that on this holiday, or for this simcha, or in this circumstance, we just can’t be together. We still love each other, but we have to separate from each other at this time. And so it is, in our family, for Pesach.
I remember when my husband pointed out to me that all of my life, I had never actually experienced a Pesach Seder on Pesach. When we were growing up in our secular home, we knew we were Jewish because we celebrated Hanukkah instead of Christmas, and Passover instead of Easter. Our Seder took all of twenty minutes. We used a booklet produced by the Reform movement called, “The Concise Family Seder”, and my mom cooked a delicious (non-kosher of course) brisket and bought a box of matzoh. We dipped the parsley, recited the plagues, ate the horseradish, sang “Dayenu”, and got right to the meal. Every Seder, and its accompanying meal, was over before Passover actually began, because who’s going to wait until 9 PM to start? I’m sure we were eating bagels the next morning, and there was no meaningful discussion at the table. What was meaningful was that this completely secular family was still holding on to this annual ritual of the Passover Seder. It wasn’t what the Seder stood for that really mattered; what mattered is that we still identified as Jews, who therefore, did three things: circumcised our babies, avoided Christmas, and then sat around a Seder table reading stories of our ancestors to remember that we are Jews. Even when I was away at college, and an adult in my twenties before marrying my husband, I came home for the Seder.
For the past fifteen years, my husband and I have been conducting the Pesach Seder in our own home. We don’t join with other BT families (as many do, to relieve the sadness of loss of family and to celebrate together in friendship), but instead, we give our three children ample time at the Sederim to share over the volumes of learning they have brought home from Yeshiva. Getting together with family is not an option for us. Going there is impossible because there would be nothing kosher about it, and no willingness to accommodate to the extent we’d need. So then, why not invite family to our Sederim? We’ve always done so, but the answer is always no, and I understand. To them, it looks like a punishment. You don’t start until 9 PM? You spend two hours with all of the rituals before you get to the meal? Instead of nachas over the children’s excitement and learning, there is something between distaste and disdain, and who needs that at the Seder table?
I feel sad when I see the children’s excitement at the Seder table, and I know that their grandparents are missing out on all this nachas. I feel sad when I know that all of our family members choose to separate from us on the most family-centric holiday of the year. I feel sad when I’m going through the sometimes-exhausting Pesach preparations, and I dream about what it would be like to have a mother or sibling to share it with, or at least someone who could even relate. It can be a lonely time, Pesach, one that really reminds me how far we have moved away from our families of origin.
I’m not going to end this essay with a “rah rah” sentimental speech about how good my husband and I feel as observant Jews, and how this makes up for all of the sadness, etc. This is what is true for me. Sometimes the path of the BT is a lonely one, especially when it comes to family. Sometimes I ache for my family to join me. Sometimes I’m angry that they aren’t here. Sometimes they are angry that I am not there. Sometimes I miss the good old days when I didn’t know any better, and I didn’t have to clean out the whole house for Pesach, and the Seder was over in twenty minutes. . . let’s eat. But there’s no going back. What there is, after fifteen years on this path, is increased pride and conviction of where my husband, children, and I have gone – no turning back – and increased acceptance that this has meant a necessary separation from our families of origin. This is what it is. It isn’t perfect, but this is it, so we live with it and make the most of it. And sometimes we cry. While my husband’s eyes are brimming over from too much horseradish, mine are sometimes teary from being lonely for observant family to join us. G-d receives all of our tears, whatever their origin. A very famous alcoholic came up with an expression I find very true everytime Pesach rolls around: “G-d grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Amen!
I only know of seders for the most part that have been small….even when we went to friends’ houses, it wasn’t that crowded..so i don’t feel that I am missing too much with big sederim..
It is so interesting (and often frustrating) to see the wide range of differences between how family members accept you when you become frum. In my experience I found that some are very agressively against it, others are more “if YOU want to, but it’s not for me” and some others may actually partake in some of it. I have one cousin who won’t talk to me anymore and another who is going through the BT process. Most seem to fall in the middle category though. The “the Seder is too late for me” reason might be an actual realistic concern that some have (it is too late for me too as I tend to get stomach problems), but for others it is simply another weapon in their diatribe against observance.
On the idea of having some connection with family before Pesach, such as starting the meal earlier and doing some of the seder before sundwon, as” I”m Jewish” suggests in the last post, this is an idea that some famlies try, to address the late start that turns off many secular Jews. I discuss this option in my book, “What do you mean, you can’t eat in my home?” It can work for some families. Doesn’t work for ours. Our family won’t come within 100 miles of us anywhere around a Jewish holiday. For us to get together before Pesach, it would have to be something like having dinner two weeks before! But thanks anyway for the thought!
I have a thought. For some non-observant families, the meaning of the Seder is indeed as they describe — some matzoh, some parsley, some abridged readings, and a nice dinner.
Is it possible that you could have such a dinner with them BEFORE Pesach? There wouldn’t be a halachic problem with eating matzoh prior to Pesach, or reciting abridged versions of the prayers? That way, they can still have the joy of having extended family together, and you wouldn’t be compromising what needs to happen during Pesach?
Just a thought / suggestion.
Touching post Azriela. It helped me appreciate what we had for the short time we had it.
Our parents lived about 4 miles apart. So each Pesach we would be at my wife’s parents for the first seder and mine for the second. Both our moms were very accomodating with our special kashrut needs, and we, in turn, tried to minimize any unecessary demands. There was always an uncle or cousin who would balk at the late start time, but often it was those very people who kept the seder going late with their extra questions!
My wife’s intent was never to make her own seder while our moms were still able to. Unfortunately they both passed away at relatively young ages and the seder was thrust upon us much sooner than we had hoped.
Even though we now live in Israel and have a “frum” seder with our FFB neighbors every year, we wouldn’t trade those early sederim with our parents, with our kids with their grandparents, with all the compromises, for anything.
When I was growing up my family was traditional (some stuff, yes, other stuff, no), but we were kosher all year as well as for Pesach. So the first night we had my aunt, uncle, and cousins on my Dad’s side, which everyone grinned and bore Manaschewitz hagadda style until 9:00 when my uncle observed it was getting very late, and they’d go home. What we kids enjoyed was the second night, when my mom (who’d lost her family in the Holocaust), invited a couple friends and neighbors whom my parents enjoyed being with. That helped establish my own minhag as an adult, especially after my parents passed away, i.e. inviting friends and singles who otherwise would not have a seder. That even more recently includes some non-frum friends who don’t ask and don’t tell how they’re getting to us (I learned this method from our friendly local Chabad rabbi). Especially after my divorce, I learned the hard way that since no yomtov was going to be Jewish storybook perfect I’d better take care of myself and make sure that the Seder would be as enjoyable as possible for me and my kids so it wouldn’t be so painful.
Certainly less guilty because I don’t want to have my parents having to spend Pesach all alone. It is all a matter of perspective I guess.
My compromise is to visit with my parents shortly before Passover. A seder with them would be impossible, so we have our “family time” early. Having my parents visit before hand also helps me get my cleaning (at least the spring cleaning part) done early.
I think as the years and the observance progressed and we had the meals at my parents, it became more and more difficult. This was obviously seen by my parents and it almost became mutually agreed (albeit unsaid) that we just couldn’t do it anymore.
year 2) we order food from mealmart, parents don’t like it (the taste).
year 3) we build Tin foil structures in their house to protect the food on a newly bought heating tray on a timer and eat at a separate table (pushed next to the big one. We start the Seder at 8:30. No one is too happy about that.
year 4) Oh forget it.
This post has to hit at the solar plexus of any thinking BT or any FFB whose views are more mdakdek than his or her parents and who find such practices foreign to their own. There simply is no easy answer to the issue but one can and should look back at the Avos and Imahos, Moshe Rabbeinu, R Akiva, Resh Lakish and the Ger from Vilna as one’s spiritual parents. RYBS related a story about how the Gaon of Vilna comforted the Ger Tzedek of Vilna at his most lonely night-The Ger Tzedek asked the Gaon who would mourn for him. The Gaon responded by quoting a verse from Isiah 44.6 and stated that God is a father to everyone who has no father and is a son to someone who dies childless. I think that this Dvar Torah rings very true for BTs who face far more in their lives in dealing with family members who simply have no comprehension of what a Torah observant life is and who have adopted heterodox practices and lifestyles. Consequently, BTs develope close friendships with rabbanim and chavrusos, etc, almost out of need. Ultimately, the raising of a family of one’s own and becoming integrated into the Torah observant world, with or without one’s family of origin, are very important factors that simply cannot be understated in importance.
Thanks for the empathic responses. I usually try to write more upbeat cheerleader kinds of posts, and so this one was a risk for me, and I wasn’t sure how it would go over. I see that the responses are small, but the empathy is high, so I know that a handful of people needed to know that they aren’t the only ones who experience this. I think it’s important not to whitewash some of the more painful aspects of the bt process, and to stop pretending that somehow, discovering the Torah compensates for all loss. Loss is loss. I am still convinced that we made the right decision to go on the path we’ve gone, but I can still, at times, feel sad about what and who I had to leave behind to do so. And yes, as so many have agreed, Pesach is a particularly poignant time to be without family, especially when that family isn’t deceased, but rather, just not interested. I appreciate those of you who gave an honest response. Many blessings to you and yours on this journey.
Thanks Azriella; I’ve wanted to write a post like this one since BBT began….I related strongly. It’s too bad there isn’t some organized group of BT’s who can do sedarim together each year. It’s not family, but it could fill the empty spaces a bit.
Bas Yisrael: Thanks for pointing out the silver lining. Hakaras Hatov is what it’s all about.
Chag Kasher v’Sameach to all.
Azriela, this is very compelling. It is painful to read that your parents will not tolerate the traditional seder, even if they don’t quite eat the shiurim or stay up till the “bitter” end.
I must admit that to some extent, however, I think dealing with this is just part of growing up — and not just for BT’s and their children. I remember when I was little, thinking that everyone had a mother, and a father, and a grandmother, and a grandfather, as I did. And then I was confused because my cousin had two of each kind of grandparent. Why didn’t I also have two sets of grandparents? Well, I just didn’t, just as one of my parents just didn’t have two parents, or, later (but much too soon), any. I think it is to my parents’ credit that they didn’t make a big deal about it. This is the life, and the family, God has given us.
Surely your children are being taught that they should be grateful that they have loving grandparents in the first place who most likely did not have the situational and educational opportunities to make the decisions about religious commitment that you did.
And I am sure you teach them, too, that whatever your parents’ limitations, the reason you are making the seder at all and that the children are there with you to celebrate it in its full glory is that those same impatient, “intolerant” parents passed onto you, somehow, that spark of commitment to being Jewish, or that sense that being Jewish meant something special, or something somehow positive about Judaism or even about Hashem, from which you were able to draw and light the flame of Yiddishkeit that warms all their lives on these special nights.
This way your children understand that their grandparents are in some way really always indeed really with them, “in their way,” and their participation in your life, and theirs, can be appreciated positively, and they can be even more grateful to have grandparents at all.
Wow. Excellent. I never knew anyone else felt that. Pesach is always hard for me, because my family will have nothing to do with me either. TG my parents are great, and come in to visit often. But Pesach time? NEVER. Its interesting because everyone always says how the Pesach seder is one of the only Jewish traditions that is done pretty much by everyone. This is a double edged sword. Because my parents have their traditional pre-pesach seder/dinner, they feel they could never give that up for what I do. Growing up Pesach was a great time with my cousins, and I do miss that… But at the same time, I think what disturbed me so much about Reform Judaism was the encouragment to “pick and choose” observances. So.. like they say, I have come to realize I can’t have my cake (chametz free of course) and eat it too.
I have not been home with my parents for thirty years for a pesach sedar, it is a hard time of year for me. As for my kids, all year round they do feel different then their friends, but I think they are happy for the things they do have, like the amount of attention they get at the sedar. Plus they are not working so hard getting ready for all this company and babysitting for neices and nephews. great post, thanks for writing, I can REALLY relate. The lack of frum family is something I truly miss all year round, but I try to focus on what I do have, which is alot.
Your situation sounds a lot like ours, with one key difference – the grandparents are all nifter. Although there are other frum people in the extended family, my husband’s cousins are quite busy with their own rapidly growing (B”H) branches, and their own cousins have relocated to OOT. So my kids will again hear the same mantra as yours have. They’re so used to not having family that they don’t even care about it at this point. I’m the one with the problem!
There are no words to add to what you wrote. You said it all.
Agree completely — very sad. Gives new insight into the medrash that only 1/5th of the Yidden came out of Mitzraim. I imagine there was a general sadness or even anger at those friends and family who couldn’t deal with the emunah, or whatever was required to be one of the yotziim.

lowercased:
the key is, i miss the concept of having family at the seder table. it’s a beautiful, sentimental idea that belongs with pesach, like it was written into the script. but i don’t miss having my family at the seder table, or my husband’s family either for that matter. that’s when the rosy picture breaks down. when i wrote the book, “what do you mean, you can’t eat in my home, a guide for newly observant jews and their lesser observant family members,” i had a conundrum when i got to the chapter on pesach. first i tackled pesach as a cheerleader: you can do it, you can have seders even in your mother’s non-observant home, or you can join together with your secular sister and her kids. here’s how! and for some families, these compromises and adjustments are a small price to pay for the pleasure of being with family on pesach, and it is a goal that can be accomplished and relished. to those families who have figured out how to bring together observant and non-observant (or lesser observant) families at the sederim, g-d bless you. in some families, compromises won’t work, and true harmony is only reached by making a mutual decision that on this holiday, or for this simcha, or in this circumstance, we just can’t be together. we still love each other, but we have to separate from each other at this time. and so it is, in our family, for pesach.
i remember when my husband pointed out to me that all of my life, i had never actually experienced a pesach seder on pesach. when we were growing up in our secular home, we knew we were jewish because we celebrated hanukkah instead of christmas, and passover instead of easter. our seder took all of twenty minutes. we used a booklet produced by the reform movement called, “the concise family seder”, and my mom cooked a delicious (non-kosher of course) brisket and bought a box of matzoh. we dipped the parsley, recited the plagues, ate the horseradish, sang “dayenu”, and got right to the meal. every seder, and its accompanying meal, was over before passover actually began, because who’s going to wait until 9 pm to start? i’m sure we were eating bagels the next morning, and there was no meaningful discussion at the table. what was meaningful was that this completely secular family was still holding on to this annual ritual of the passover seder. it wasn’t what the seder stood for that really mattered; what mattered is that we still identified as jews, who therefore, did three things: circumcised our babies, avoided christmas, and then sat around a seder table reading stories of our ancestors to remember that we are jews. even when i was away at college, and an adult in my twenties before marrying my husband, i came home for the seder.
for the past fifteen years, my husband and i have been conducting the pesach seder in our own home. we don’t join with other bt families (as many do, to relieve the sadness of loss of family and to celebrate together in friendship), but instead, we give our three children ample time at the sederim to share over the volumes of learning they have brought home from yeshiva. getting together with family is not an option for us. going there is impossible because there would be nothing kosher about it, and no willingness to accommodate to the extent we’d need. so then, why not invite family to our sederim? we’ve always done so, but the answer is always no, and i understand. to them, it looks like a punishment. you don’t start until 9 pm? you spend two hours with all of the rituals before you get to the meal? instead of nachas over the children’s excitement and learning, there is something between distaste and disdain, and who needs that at the seder table?
i feel sad when i see the children’s excitement at the seder table, and i know that their grandparents are missing out on all this nachas. i feel sad when i know that all of our family members choose to separate from us on the most family-centric holiday of the year. i feel sad when i’m going through the sometimes-exhausting pesach preparations, and i dream about what it would be like to have a mother or sibling to share it with, or at least someone who could even relate. it can be a lonely time, pesach, one that really reminds me how far we have moved away from our families of origin.
i’m not going to end this essay with a “rah rah” sentimental speech about how good my husband and i feel as observant jews, and how this makes up for all of the sadness, etc. this is what is true for me. sometimes the path of the bt is a lonely one, especially when it comes to family. sometimes i ache for my family to join me. sometimes i’m angry that they aren’t here. sometimes they are angry that i am not there. sometimes i miss the good old days when i didn’t know any better, and i didn’t have to clean out the whole house for pesach, and the seder was over in twenty minutes. . . let’s eat. but there’s no going back. what there is, after fifteen years on this path, is increased pride and conviction of where my husband, children, and i have gone – no turning back – and increased acceptance that this has meant a necessary separation from our families of origin. this is what it is. it isn’t perfect, but this is it, so we live with it and make the most of it. and sometimes we cry. while my husband’s eyes are brimming over from too much horseradish, mine are sometimes teary from being lonely for observant family to join us. g-d receives all of our tears, whatever their origin. a very famous alcoholic came up with an expression i find very true everytime pesach rolls around: “g-d grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, courage to change the things i can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” amen!
i only know of seders for the most part that have been small….even when we went to friends’ houses, it wasn’t that crowded..so i don’t feel that i am missing too much with big sederim..
it is so interesting (and often frustrating) to see the wide range of differences between how family members accept you when you become frum. in my experience i found that some are very agressively against it, others are more “if you want to, but it’s not for me” and some others may actually partake in some of it. i have one cousin who won’t talk to me anymore and another who is going through the bt process. most seem to fall in the middle category though. the “the seder is too late for me” reason might be an actual realistic concern that some have (it is too late for me too as i tend to get stomach problems), but for others it is simply another weapon in their diatribe against observance.
on the idea of having some connection with family before pesach, such as starting the meal earlier and doing some of the seder before sundwon, as” i”m jewish” suggests in the last post, this is an idea that some famlies try, to address the late start that turns off many secular jews. i discuss this option in my book, “what do you mean, you can’t eat in my home?” it can work for some families. doesn’t work for ours. our family won’t come within 100 miles of us anywhere around a jewish holiday. for us to get together before pesach, it would have to be something like having dinner two weeks before! but thanks anyway for the thought!
i have a thought. for some non-observant families, the meaning of the seder is indeed as they describe — some matzoh, some parsley, some abridged readings, and a nice dinner.
is it possible that you could have such a dinner with them before pesach? there wouldn’t be a halachic problem with eating matzoh prior to pesach, or reciting abridged versions of the prayers? that way, they can still have the joy of having extended family together, and you wouldn’t be compromising what needs to happen during pesach?
just a thought / suggestion.
touching post azriela. it helped me appreciate what we had for the short time we had it.
our parents lived about 4 miles apart. so each pesach we would be at my wife’s parents for the first seder and mine for the second. both our moms were very accomodating with our special kashrut needs, and we, in turn, tried to minimize any unecessary demands. there was always an uncle or cousin who would balk at the late start time, but often it was those very people who kept the seder going late with their extra questions!
my wife’s intent was never to make her own seder while our moms were still able to. unfortunately they both passed away at relatively young ages and the seder was thrust upon us much sooner than we had hoped.
even though we now live in israel and have a “frum” seder with our ffb neighbors every year, we wouldn’t trade those early sederim with our parents, with our kids with their grandparents, with all the compromises, for anything.
when i was growing up my family was traditional (some stuff, yes, other stuff, no), but we were kosher all year as well as for pesach. so the first night we had my aunt, uncle, and cousins on my dad’s side, which everyone grinned and bore manaschewitz hagadda style until 9:00 when my uncle observed it was getting very late, and they’d go home. what we kids enjoyed was the second night, when my mom (who’d lost her family in the holocaust), invited a couple friends and neighbors whom my parents enjoyed being with. that helped establish my own minhag as an adult, especially after my parents passed away, i.e. inviting friends and singles who otherwise would not have a seder. that even more recently includes some non-frum friends who don’t ask and don’t tell how they’re getting to us (i learned this method from our friendly local chabad rabbi). especially after my divorce, i learned the hard way that since no yomtov was going to be jewish storybook perfect i’d better take care of myself and make sure that the seder would be as enjoyable as possible for me and my kids so it wouldn’t be so painful.
certainly less guilty because i don’t want to have my parents having to spend pesach all alone. it is all a matter of perspective i guess.
my compromise is to visit with my parents shortly before passover. a seder with them would be impossible, so we have our “family time” early. having my parents visit before hand also helps me get my cleaning (at least the spring cleaning part) done early.
i think as the years and the observance progressed and we had the meals at my parents, it became more and more difficult. this was obviously seen by my parents and it almost became mutually agreed (albeit unsaid) that we just couldn’t do it anymore.
year 2) we order food from mealmart, parents don’t like it (the taste).
year 3) we build tin foil structures in their house to protect the food on a newly bought heating tray on a timer and eat at a separate table (pushed next to the big one. we start the seder at 8:30. no one is too happy about that.
year 4) oh forget it.
this post has to hit at the solar plexus of any thinking bt or any ffb whose views are more mdakdek than his or her parents and who find such practices foreign to their own. there simply is no easy answer to the issue but one can and should look back at the avos and imahos, moshe rabbeinu, r akiva, resh lakish and the ger from vilna as one’s spiritual parents. rybs related a story about how the gaon of vilna comforted the ger tzedek of vilna at his most lonely night-the ger tzedek asked the gaon who would mourn for him. the gaon responded by quoting a verse from isiah 44.6 and stated that god is a father to everyone who has no father and is a son to someone who dies childless. i think that this dvar torah rings very true for bts who face far more in their lives in dealing with family members who simply have no comprehension of what a torah observant life is and who have adopted heterodox practices and lifestyles. consequently, bts develope close friendships with rabbanim and chavrusos, etc, almost out of need. ultimately, the raising of a family of one’s own and becoming integrated into the torah observant world, with or without one’s family of origin, are very important factors that simply cannot be understated in importance.
thanks for the empathic responses. i usually try to write more upbeat cheerleader kinds of posts, and so this one was a risk for me, and i wasn’t sure how it would go over. i see that the responses are small, but the empathy is high, so i know that a handful of people needed to know that they aren’t the only ones who experience this. i think it’s important not to whitewash some of the more painful aspects of the bt process, and to stop pretending that somehow, discovering the torah compensates for all loss. loss is loss. i am still convinced that we made the right decision to go on the path we’ve gone, but i can still, at times, feel sad about what and who i had to leave behind to do so. and yes, as so many have agreed, pesach is a particularly poignant time to be without family, especially when that family isn’t deceased, but rather, just not interested. i appreciate those of you who gave an honest response. many blessings to you and yours on this journey.
thanks azriella; i’ve wanted to write a post like this one since bbt began….i related strongly. it’s too bad there isn’t some organized group of bt’s who can do sedarim together each year. it’s not family, but it could fill the empty spaces a bit.
bas yisrael: thanks for pointing out the silver lining. hakaras hatov is what it’s all about.
chag kasher v’sameach to all.
azriela, this is very compelling. it is painful to read that your parents will not tolerate the traditional seder, even if they don’t quite eat the shiurim or stay up till the “bitter” end.
i must admit that to some extent, however, i think dealing with this is just part of growing up — and not just for bt’s and their children. i remember when i was little, thinking that everyone had a mother, and a father, and a grandmother, and a grandfather, as i did. and then i was confused because my cousin had two of each kind of grandparent. why didn’t i also have two sets of grandparents? well, i just didn’t, just as one of my parents just didn’t have two parents, or, later (but much too soon), any. i think it is to my parents’ credit that they didn’t make a big deal about it. this is the life, and the family, god has given us.
surely your children are being taught that they should be grateful that they have loving grandparents in the first place who most likely did not have the situational and educational opportunities to make the decisions about religious commitment that you did.
and i am sure you teach them, too, that whatever your parents’ limitations, the reason you are making the seder at all and that the children are there with you to celebrate it in its full glory is that those same impatient, “intolerant” parents passed onto you, somehow, that spark of commitment to being jewish, or that sense that being jewish meant something special, or something somehow positive about judaism or even about hashem, from which you were able to draw and light the flame of yiddishkeit that warms all their lives on these special nights.
this way your children understand that their grandparents are in some way really always indeed really with them, “in their way,” and their participation in your life, and theirs, can be appreciated positively, and they can be even more grateful to have grandparents at all.
wow. excellent. i never knew anyone else felt that. pesach is always hard for me, because my family will have nothing to do with me either. tg my parents are great, and come in to visit often. but pesach time? never. its interesting because everyone always says how the pesach seder is one of the only jewish traditions that is done pretty much by everyone. this is a double edged sword. because my parents have their traditional pre-pesach seder/dinner, they feel they could never give that up for what i do. growing up pesach was a great time with my cousins, and i do miss that… but at the same time, i think what disturbed me so much about reform judaism was the encouragment to “pick and choose” observances. so.. like they say, i have come to realize i can’t have my cake (chametz free of course) and eat it too.
i have not been home with my parents for thirty years for a pesach sedar, it is a hard time of year for me. as for my kids, all year round they do feel different then their friends, but i think they are happy for the things they do have, like the amount of attention they get at the sedar. plus they are not working so hard getting ready for all this company and babysitting for neices and nephews. great post, thanks for writing, i can really relate. the lack of frum family is something i truly miss all year round, but i try to focus on what i do have, which is alot.
your situation sounds a lot like ours, with one key difference – the grandparents are all nifter. although there are other frum people in the extended family, my husband’s cousins are quite busy with their own rapidly growing (b”h) branches, and their own cousins have relocated to oot. so my kids will again hear the same mantra as yours have. they’re so used to not having family that they don’t even care about it at this point. i’m the one with the problem!
there are no words to add to what you wrote. you said it all.
agree completely — very sad. gives new insight into the medrash that only 1/5th of the yidden came out of mitzraim. i imagine there was a general sadness or even anger at those friends and family who couldn’t deal with the emunah, or whatever was required to be one of the yotziim.


text:
Posture may be a reflection of our mental state, habits we have developed over the years, underlying pathology, or an expression of an environment we are, or have been, exposed to; however, for many it is simply that thing which we all say we wish we could improve on (but is ‘just too hard to maintain!’). This article will focus on conventional posture which is taught for working at a desk, as well as how modern research fits in.
The top of the monitor bezel should be at, or just below, eye-level.
Sit so that you are not slouched over; but, also so that you are not erected straight like a pencil! Both of these extremes put unwanted pressure on the discs, in different ways. A physiotherapist once recommended to go from a ‘100%’ erect posture, with shoulders back towards each-other, and then relax about ’20-30%’, following a deep breath in and out.
Shoulders are relaxed, and not sinking forward.
Elbows are at a 90 degree angle, utilizing arm-rests on the chair (not illustrated in the diagram).
Wrists are comfortably supported in a neutral position, neither too flexed or too extended back.
The depth of the seat should accommodate a feeling of proper support for the back.
A cushioned back-rest provides comfort for the back, while providing support.
Knees are flexed at 90 degrees.
Feet are supported at a respective level, either by the floor, a bar, or a sturdy platform (such as a small stool, or larger books).
This information should serve as a general guideline, as more research is showing us that there may not be a ‘perfect’ posture to rigidly attempt to maintain throughout the day. But, then… what does this mean?
Your posture should feel comfortable, and accommodate the tasks to be performed without putting you into discomfort or strain.
Moderation is key, and you should not maintain any one posture for long periods – switch it up!
Make time and set reminders to get up and stretch, walk around, etc.
Begin a strength-training regimen to add resilience to your form, and to help promote overall good health.
Make sure that you are breathing properly. We call this diaphragmatic breathing, where you breath into and fill the ‘belly’ first, up and into the upper chest last, and then exhale (this will be covered in more detail in a future article). How we breath affects our posture, and our posture affects how we breath!
With modern research, the way how we view and address posture is changing. While we are narrowing away from the idea of a ‘perfect posture’ at the work-desk, please keep in mind that posture still holds importance in safety with regards to certain conditions (ex. spinal disc herniation) or activities (such as lifting heavy weights/objects).
Many of us may dread the next day of work, simply at the thought of how we feel when sitting for so long. So, before you start your next shift at the desk, take a moment to review this advice, and… let’s see how the day goes. Sometimes, it may not be the environment causing us stress, but rather how we function within it! And remember, like all things, it gets better with practice.
For further advice, I recommend that you look at our “Posture and Habits” article.
Disclaimer: The views expressed on this blog are my own and do not reflect the views of my employer. The information on our site is for educational and informational purposes only. For specific advice, please seek help from a medical doctor or from one of our qualified practitioners or specialists.
In continuation of topics on better posture, today I’d like to talk about habits. In essence, I believe that any change that you make in your life be it exercising, eating differently, or sitting straight requires forming new habits. And certainly changing one’s posture falls into this category.
Today I would like to share a strengthening exercise that I often recommend to my patients to correct bad posture. I call this exercise a “Wall Stand“.
We often work with office workers. While working in an office might seem like an easy job from a physical perspective, it still has potential risks for your body. Two major hazards are head-forward posture and slouching.
Welcome to MedSpa Health Centre Blog. This is a place where health care practitioners from various disciplines such as massage therapy, acupuncture, and chiropractic connect, engage, educate, and inspire our patients.

lowercased:
posture may be a reflection of our mental state, habits we have developed over the years, underlying pathology, or an expression of an environment we are, or have been, exposed to; however, for many it is simply that thing which we all say we wish we could improve on (but is ‘just too hard to maintain!’). this article will focus on conventional posture which is taught for working at a desk, as well as how modern research fits in.
the top of the monitor bezel should be at, or just below, eye-level.
sit so that you are not slouched over; but, also so that you are not erected straight like a pencil! both of these extremes put unwanted pressure on the discs, in different ways. a physiotherapist once recommended to go from a ‘100%’ erect posture, with shoulders back towards each-other, and then relax about ’20-30%’, following a deep breath in and out.
shoulders are relaxed, and not sinking forward.
elbows are at a 90 degree angle, utilizing arm-rests on the chair (not illustrated in the diagram).
wrists are comfortably supported in a neutral position, neither too flexed or too extended back.
the depth of the seat should accommodate a feeling of proper support for the back.
a cushioned back-rest provides comfort for the back, while providing support.
knees are flexed at 90 degrees.
feet are supported at a respective level, either by the floor, a bar, or a sturdy platform (such as a small stool, or larger books).
this information should serve as a general guideline, as more research is showing us that there may not be a ‘perfect’ posture to rigidly attempt to maintain throughout the day. but, then… what does this mean?
your posture should feel comfortable, and accommodate the tasks to be performed without putting you into discomfort or strain.
moderation is key, and you should not maintain any one posture for long periods – switch it up!
make time and set reminders to get up and stretch, walk around, etc.
begin a strength-training regimen to add resilience to your form, and to help promote overall good health.
make sure that you are breathing properly. we call this diaphragmatic breathing, where you breath into and fill the ‘belly’ first, up and into the upper chest last, and then exhale (this will be covered in more detail in a future article). how we breath affects our posture, and our posture affects how we breath!
with modern research, the way how we view and address posture is changing. while we are narrowing away from the idea of a ‘perfect posture’ at the work-desk, please keep in mind that posture still holds importance in safety with regards to certain conditions (ex. spinal disc herniation) or activities (such as lifting heavy weights/objects).
many of us may dread the next day of work, simply at the thought of how we feel when sitting for so long. so, before you start your next shift at the desk, take a moment to review this advice, and… let’s see how the day goes. sometimes, it may not be the environment causing us stress, but rather how we function within it! and remember, like all things, it gets better with practice.
for further advice, i recommend that you look at our “posture and habits” article.
disclaimer: the views expressed on this blog are my own and do not reflect the views of my employer. the information on our site is for educational and informational purposes only. for specific advice, please seek help from a medical doctor or from one of our qualified practitioners or specialists.
in continuation of topics on better posture, today i’d like to talk about habits. in essence, i believe that any change that you make in your life be it exercising, eating differently, or sitting straight requires forming new habits. and certainly changing one’s posture falls into this category.
today i would like to share a strengthening exercise that i often recommend to my patients to correct bad posture. i call this exercise a “wall stand“.
we often work with office workers. while working in an office might seem like an easy job from a physical perspective, it still has potential risks for your body. two major hazards are head-forward posture and slouching.
welcome to medspa health centre blog. this is a place where health care practitioners from various disciplines such as massage therapy, acupuncture, and chiropractic connect, engage, educate, and inspire our patients.


text:
Home :: About Us :: How It Started?
Outshine Labs started out of a vision of Mr. Ashish Jha who felt that there is a huge gap between what Indian education system teaches and what the industry needs. This has created a scarcity in the country which resulted in huge unemployment. Although there are many institutes who provide job oriented training in the country but there were 4 major problems with all the institutes.
They just provide placement assistance and not assured placements.
While there is no problems with charging hefty fees, we see it as extra burden on candidate because by the time candidates has started searching for jobs they might have already spent huge amount of money on his/her education. We have seen so many ambitious and hard working talents in country but because of poor or inappropriate education and skills they never get a job.
Education System in India is highly monotonous and is driven by the mindset of making money. We felt a need for a educational institute which can focus on educating rather than on making money. Unfortunately, when we started searching for such an institute, we could not find a single such institute in country, which propelled us to create Outshine Labs.
Since Outshine Labs formed with a social responsibility and formed with a aim to create a organization where we can remove all the above 4 problems, it was very tough to get started.
Outshine Lab provides assured placements to all the trainees.
Outshine Labs provides ‘free training’ to the qualified candidates. Providing free training is extremely challenging as it requires huge money to provide training. Fortunately we got sponsorships, funding and donations from Outshine Group and different companies who also support our vision and cause.More companies are joining hands with Outshine Labs to support us in one way or another.
All the courses of Outshine Labs have been prepared by project managers and team leads of IT companies and its always updated with time to compete with the best in the industry. While most of the institutes focus on theoretical concepts, Outshine Labs focuses on corporate course requirements.
One of the major problems of institutes is that they do not provide real industry exposure to the candidates. They do not know how things work in a company and what is expected from them when working in a team. Outshine Labs expose the trainees to the real customer projects where they have opportunity to communicate with clients and work in a similar environment in which a company’s employees work.
Jobs to all trainees after successful completion of course is one of the most challenging tasks. With our tie-ups with various companies, we ensure that all the trained candidates immediately get a job appointment letter without waiting. Successful candidates gain enough knowledge that they compete with the best in the industry and thus job becomes a piece of cake for Outshiners. In fact, most of the trained candidates on an average have at-least have 2 jobs offers by the time they complete the training.

lowercased:
home :: about us :: how it started?
outshine labs started out of a vision of mr. ashish jha who felt that there is a huge gap between what indian education system teaches and what the industry needs. this has created a scarcity in the country which resulted in huge unemployment. although there are many institutes who provide job oriented training in the country but there were 4 major problems with all the institutes.
they just provide placement assistance and not assured placements.
while there is no problems with charging hefty fees, we see it as extra burden on candidate because by the time candidates has started searching for jobs they might have already spent huge amount of money on his/her education. we have seen so many ambitious and hard working talents in country but because of poor or inappropriate education and skills they never get a job.
education system in india is highly monotonous and is driven by the mindset of making money. we felt a need for a educational institute which can focus on educating rather than on making money. unfortunately, when we started searching for such an institute, we could not find a single such institute in country, which propelled us to create outshine labs.
since outshine labs formed with a social responsibility and formed with a aim to create a organization where we can remove all the above 4 problems, it was very tough to get started.
outshine lab provides assured placements to all the trainees.
outshine labs provides ‘free training’ to the qualified candidates. providing free training is extremely challenging as it requires huge money to provide training. fortunately we got sponsorships, funding and donations from outshine group and different companies who also support our vision and cause.more companies are joining hands with outshine labs to support us in one way or another.
all the courses of outshine labs have been prepared by project managers and team leads of it companies and its always updated with time to compete with the best in the industry. while most of the institutes focus on theoretical concepts, outshine labs focuses on corporate course requirements.
one of the major problems of institutes is that they do not provide real industry exposure to the candidates. they do not know how things work in a company and what is expected from them when working in a team. outshine labs expose the trainees to the real customer projects where they have opportunity to communicate with clients and work in a similar environment in which a company’s employees work.
jobs to all trainees after successful completion of course is one of the most challenging tasks. with our tie-ups with various companies, we ensure that all the trained candidates immediately get a job appointment letter without waiting. successful candidates gain enough knowledge that they compete with the best in the industry and thus job becomes a piece of cake for outshiners. in fact, most of the trained candidates on an average have at-least have 2 jobs offers by the time they complete the training.


text: IJOY Tornado 150 Sub-Ohm & RTA Tank, is one of the most affordable tank, utilizing a new Tornado 0.3ohm coil capable of running up to 150W, unparalleled for a full chamber coil design. The IJOY TORNADO 150 improves upon the top fill system by efficiently using a wide bore Delrin chuff Top Cap. RTA coil included, enjoy building your own coils. The IJOY TORNADO 150 pre-made coil itself replaces the chimney, greatly increasing effective airflow while outputting fantastic flavor and vapor production.

lowercased: ijoy tornado 150 sub-ohm & rta tank, is one of the most affordable tank, utilizing a new tornado 0.3ohm coil capable of running up to 150w, unparalleled for a full chamber coil design. the ijoy tornado 150 improves upon the top fill system by efficiently using a wide bore delrin chuff top cap. rta coil included, enjoy building your own coils. the ijoy tornado 150 pre-made coil itself replaces the chimney, greatly increasing effective airflow while outputting fantastic flavor and vapor production.


text:
Ring is just as described, very happy with the purchase and the person receiving it as a gift loved it as well.
Love my new jewelry! Very well done; perfect fit; exactly what I was hoping for!
Very pretty. I ordered this for my daughter's birthday and have not given it to her yet.
I am pleased with my purchase the ring's initials of my Mom are fancy, but very readable. It's a really nice memorial.
Simply beautiful... I have always wanted a monogram ring and I love this one. The edges are rounded so the ring doesn't get hung on anything. I have not taken it off since I received it. Love love Love!!!
This was a 46th anniversary gift for my wife. When she opened the box, the look on her face was all I needed to know she was thrilled.
This is a great ring! I love it. I thought it would be thicker, that would be my only suggestion. I would have given it 5 start if the whole thing would have been thicker, but other than that it is amazing. I have received lots of terrific compliments.

lowercased:
ring is just as described, very happy with the purchase and the person receiving it as a gift loved it as well.
love my new jewelry! very well done; perfect fit; exactly what i was hoping for!
very pretty. i ordered this for my daughter's birthday and have not given it to her yet.
i am pleased with my purchase the ring's initials of my mom are fancy, but very readable. it's a really nice memorial.
simply beautiful... i have always wanted a monogram ring and i love this one. the edges are rounded so the ring doesn't get hung on anything. i have not taken it off since i received it. love love love!!!
this was a 46th anniversary gift for my wife. when she opened the box, the look on her face was all i needed to know she was thrilled.
this is a great ring! i love it. i thought it would be thicker, that would be my only suggestion. i would have given it 5 start if the whole thing would have been thicker, but other than that it is amazing. i have received lots of terrific compliments.


text:
JAQUELINE MITCHELL is an experienced writer/compiler, publisher and editor, with a particular expertise in British social and cultural history. She began her career with Macmillan and then Haymarket Publishing, producing, writing and editing for trade magazines, before moving into book publishing.
After over twenty years working as a book editor for Macdonald, David & Charles, and Sutton Publishing, in 2007 she went freelance, since when she has built up a successful business, working for a variety of independent publishers. She has worked on history books for some of the country’s leading history publishers including Portobello, Osprey, Carlton, Constable & Robinson, Macmillan and Haus Publishing.
She has compiled three Britannica Guides for Constable & Robinson,written Blitz Spirit and The Austerity Book for Osprey and The University of Surrey: A History of Shaping the Future for Strathmore Publishing.
As an editor, as well as commissioning, she has done copyediting and proofreading, fact-checking and source checking, picture research, and ad hoc historical research, as well as working extensively with authors in shaping their books.

lowercased:
jaqueline mitchell is an experienced writer/compiler, publisher and editor, with a particular expertise in british social and cultural history. she began her career with macmillan and then haymarket publishing, producing, writing and editing for trade magazines, before moving into book publishing.
after over twenty years working as a book editor for macdonald, david & charles, and sutton publishing, in 2007 she went freelance, since when she has built up a successful business, working for a variety of independent publishers. she has worked on history books for some of the country’s leading history publishers including portobello, osprey, carlton, constable & robinson, macmillan and haus publishing.
she has compiled three britannica guides for constable & robinson,written blitz spirit and the austerity book for osprey and the university of surrey: a history of shaping the future for strathmore publishing.
as an editor, as well as commissioning, she has done copyediting and proofreading, fact-checking and source checking, picture research, and ad hoc historical research, as well as working extensively with authors in shaping their books.


text:
SKYDIVING IN MARYLAND! Visit Ocean City Skydiving Center in Berlin for the most radical thrill ride at the beach.
Call Ocean City Skydiving Center today at 410-213-1319 for more information!

lowercased:
skydiving in maryland! visit ocean city skydiving center in berlin for the most radical thrill ride at the beach.
call ocean city skydiving center today at 410-213-1319 for more information!


text:
International Center for Applied Studies in Information Technology, ICASIT, SPG’s “geek” center, is about to celebrate his 25th birthday. Prof. Steve Ruth, the founder and director of the center, believes that ICASIT has been successful because it has always stayed focused on its mission: studying the efficiency of various Information and Communication Technology (ICT) activities. “We are interested in the ROI of everything”, says Ruth, “from our early examination of expert systems, kiosks and BITNET (Internet predecessor) to our current emphasis on massive open online courses (MOOCs), social media, blogs and Internet deployment in poor countries.” ICASIT has always been a place for internships. During the past year alone there have been four student interns, developing ICT databases for online courses and working on other ICT tasks. The first ICASIT intern, John Redman, started a business in Alexandria in the early 90’s called the Redmon Group, which is now one of the most significant providers of multimedia services in the region. (Redmon Group is also celebrating its 25th anniversary) “ICASIT really helped me get started”, says Redmon, who developed CAP Build, an early planning system for the United Nations, when he was at ICASIT. Over the years ICASIT has received over two dozen grants from entrepreneurs, state agencies and especially from foundations. Several million dollars of funding came from the Andrew W Mellon Foundation in New York, for implementing overseas Internet programs in poor nations and also for studies of the Return on Investment of on line college teaching. Ruth is especially proud of the interest that has been generated from the ICASIT web site, which has written messages in five languages—French, Arabic, Chinese, Korean and Spanish–to greet visitors, in addition to his welcoming video in English. Over its history ICASIT has worked with dozens of partners and clients worldwide.
As to the future, Ruth is hoping to leverage a very successful project in central Nepal into a large grant proposal over the coming months. The Nepal wireless project began with a small investment in a tiny village and has now blossomed into a full-scale not-for-profit Internet service provider (ISP) which serves dozens of schools and hospitals with education, medical information and much more—an early app was an online yak bartering site. “I’m really proud of the Nepal project, because ICASIT assisted in several material ways, and now they have a full-fledged ISP.” Ruth has worked with the founder of the project, Mr. Mahabir Pun, who received the Magsaysay Award for community development, often dubbed the “Asian Nobel Prize” for his efforts. When Mr. Pun was at ICASIT in Arlington last year he visited Dean Mark Rozell and several other University officials. At the time Dean Rozell commented ”This is an amazing achievement—I hope we can find more ways to work together.” Professor Ruth would agree.

lowercased:
international center for applied studies in information technology, icasit, spg’s “geek” center, is about to celebrate his 25th birthday. prof. steve ruth, the founder and director of the center, believes that icasit has been successful because it has always stayed focused on its mission: studying the efficiency of various information and communication technology (ict) activities. “we are interested in the roi of everything”, says ruth, “from our early examination of expert systems, kiosks and bitnet (internet predecessor) to our current emphasis on massive open online courses (moocs), social media, blogs and internet deployment in poor countries.” icasit has always been a place for internships. during the past year alone there have been four student interns, developing ict databases for online courses and working on other ict tasks. the first icasit intern, john redman, started a business in alexandria in the early 90’s called the redmon group, which is now one of the most significant providers of multimedia services in the region. (redmon group is also celebrating its 25th anniversary) “icasit really helped me get started”, says redmon, who developed cap build, an early planning system for the united nations, when he was at icasit. over the years icasit has received over two dozen grants from entrepreneurs, state agencies and especially from foundations. several million dollars of funding came from the andrew w mellon foundation in new york, for implementing overseas internet programs in poor nations and also for studies of the return on investment of on line college teaching. ruth is especially proud of the interest that has been generated from the icasit web site, which has written messages in five languages—french, arabic, chinese, korean and spanish–to greet visitors, in addition to his welcoming video in english. over its history icasit has worked with dozens of partners and clients worldwide.
as to the future, ruth is hoping to leverage a very successful project in central nepal into a large grant proposal over the coming months. the nepal wireless project began with a small investment in a tiny village and has now blossomed into a full-scale not-for-profit internet service provider (isp) which serves dozens of schools and hospitals with education, medical information and much more—an early app was an online yak bartering site. “i’m really proud of the nepal project, because icasit assisted in several material ways, and now they have a full-fledged isp.” ruth has worked with the founder of the project, mr. mahabir pun, who received the magsaysay award for community development, often dubbed the “asian nobel prize” for his efforts. when mr. pun was at icasit in arlington last year he visited dean mark rozell and several other university officials. at the time dean rozell commented ”this is an amazing achievement—i hope we can find more ways to work together.” professor ruth would agree.