Kaine Throws Hat in the Ring For VP 2020
Senator from Virginia Tim Kaine has announced that he will be running for vice president again in 2020, despite everyone’s wishes.

“I know I didn’t really add much in 2016,” he said. “Maybe it’s my fault Trump is president. I feel bad and I want to make it up to the American people.”

Kaine is willing to run again as Hillary’s VP, or any other candidate who wants him. “I love Joe Biden. Heck, I’d even settle to be on the bottom half of a Bernie Sanders ticket.”

When questioned about the lack of enthusiasm from nearly the entire world for his candidacy, Kaine acknowledges he doesn’t have much of a personality.

“But that’s what makes me vice presidential,” he explained. “You don’t want somebody who’s presidential. You want someone more like me, a little bland, or someone like our current VP. He’s kind of perfect. So unpresidential.”

Hillary Clinton barely carried Kaine’s home state in the election. The two apparently aren’t speaking.

“I love Hillary,” Kaine lied.

“I love Tim,” Hillary Clinton’s spokesperson said.

The Democratic National Committee refused to believe that Tim Kaine was running at all. They put out a statement reminding Americans that you don’t run for Vice President. You get picked by the winning candidate for president.

That’s not stopping Kaine.

“By running for vice president, what I really mean to say to whoever wins the primaries, pick me, pick me, please pick me…”

When questioned, none of the thirty-five already announced candidates for Democratic nomination said they had any interest in picking Kaine as a running mate.

“I’d rather run with a turnip,” said one presidential hopeful, who asked to remain anonymous.
['Simon Black']
['Hillary Clinton', 'Comedy', 'Virginia', 'Funny']