My Millennial Kids Didn’t Move in With Me. I Moved in with Them.
Two of my three kids are millennials, and neither is underemployed, drowning in debt, or asking to come back home. (They don’t seem to be lacking for sex either, but that’s probably a story for another day.)

Of course, they can’t come back to my house, because I don’t have one. I am homeless.

I’ve been homeless now for 4 weeks. Not sleeping in my car homeless, but couch surfing, shuttling between friends, living out of my backpack, and taking other people’s leftovers to feed my dog. For the first time in my 60 years, I am without a lease, mortgage or landlord. I have no permanent address outside the mailbox at the UPS store, and no bed to call my own.

I couldn’t be happier.

I am prepping for a long stay in Europe and parts unknown (my long-delayed Gap Year), and I decided to spend this last few weeks in Chicago while I move my stuff into storage and settle my dog with his temporary family.

So I asked my daughter and her new husband — ages 32 and 35 respectively — if I could stay with them for a bit, in their trending neighborhood on the south side of Chicago. There was a significant pause before they responded, which I try not to dwell on, but the final answer was yes.

Me. Classic Boomer. Lover of hippies, hater of The Man. Make Love, Not War, baby. Peace, Love and Soul Train. Me — moving into my millennial children’s basement.

Of course, I’m no trouble to have around. I’m the perfect house guest, because I’m a vagabond at heart. I don’t push my lifestyle on anyone else — live and let live, I say. Wasn’t I the mom who let my kids play before homework, and eat oatmeal cookies for breakfast?

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Oh sure, I have urges. I want to scream occasionally about how long they leave the dishes in the sink. I get a little shrill when they overfeed the dog but don’t take him out. The parking situation around here is totally illogical, so they could be a tad more understanding about those tickets I got on their car. And yes — I’m flabbergasted by the sacks of money they spend on takeout, and the hours they spend texting each other from different parts of the house. They work long hours and never go on vacation and they lift their eyebrows, ever so slightly, if I have a beer with … um … lunch.

But with three divorces under my belt, I try not to give people relationship advice. I keep all these thoughts to myself.

Overall it’s been totally groovy. Just last night they took me out to my favorite Italian restaurant. I thanked them profusely, as I do every day, for their hospitality. I reached for the bill when it came, but sometimes it takes a few minutes for my old eyes to find my credit card. My son-in-law took care of it. Such a nice boy.

“I love you guys,” I smiled prettily.

“Oh we love you too, Mom!” they said in unison. “Now, when exactly are you leaving?”

Reminded me of what we used to say back in the 60’s …

Never trust anyone over 30.
[]
['Baby', 'Millennials', 'Humor', 'Family', 'Boomers']