The Most Problematic Things Men Have Ever Said to Me
In Maggie Lupin’s story “I Ditched My Date in the Middle of Dinner”, she faced a scenario familiar to many women. A man made an inappropriate comment, but he was convinced his words were actually a compliment. He couldn’t understand why his date was so offended that she walked out of the restaurant on their first date.

I’m proud of Maggie for keeping her cool and having the courage to walk out on him. It wasn’t her job to sit him down and explain all the things wrong with his backhanded compliment. Not on a first date. Not at his age. He should know better. Her story got me thinking…

Is it our job to explain to someone we’ll never see again why their behavior or words are problematic?

When we don’t call someone out and tell them why we’re offended, we’re only sending them off to talk to someone else in that way. I understand the benefit of making an effort to show someone why their words are inappropriate. But how much of a difference can you actually make?

I’ve heard backhanded compliments and sexist comments from a casual fling or first date many times.

It’s happened so many times I’ve realized trying to tell a 36-year-old man why he shouldn’t say things like that is not really my job.

It’s not my responsibility to sit a grown man down like a child and hand them a bulleted list of reasons.

I wanted to share some of the messages I’ve received over the last few years. They’re not pretty messages, and it doesn’t feel good to repeat them. In every one of these texts, I just blocked the sender while wondering, “How have you made it this far in life?”

If a man or woman is a grown adult, and they haven’t learned how to respect others yet, then I wish them the best of luck. But it’s not my job to teach them.
['Jessica Lovejoy']
['Life Lessons', 'Relationships', 'This Happened To Me', 'Women', 'Dating']