Nightmare, explosion, am I turning into my mother?
(picture is from the NY Times article linked below)

Ok, let it be said that I used to live in Nashville. In fact, I lived there for 38 years, from 1976 when I started working at BellSouth till 2014 when I retired from ATT. (same company just kept changing names) I moved there for my first and only job as an adult. Today I have felt shaky. I had dreams last night, weird dreams and the night before also.

Let me set up the thoughts that are going around in my head right now, based on cues my parents gave me.

My father: “you are so smart you are dumb….”

“My mother: I had a dream last night, are you ok?”

For at least the last two nights, I have had dreams that resulted in me waking with a shudder and moan, and spending time trying to get calm and centered enough to function. One of those nights, I dreamed I was back at work. They had changed the building around. When I worked there, there were 9 basements of parking, 27 floors of offices. I had to have an id card to go from the lobby (top of the sub-floor parking) to the office on the 25th floor. Now, in my dream, my office was somewhere in a winding labyrinth on what was the lobby floor. I couldn’t find my spot…which was frustrating and nobody was willing to really do anything to help. I woke up upset.

The other night, it was me trying to find out information as to how to find information about AIDS questions. Again, nobody seemed to want to help and I was frustrated. In both cases, I was angry and feeling helpless.

The feeling I have after this sort of dream/nightmare is a sense of desolation and as though something was horribly, horribly wrong with the universe. That was part of my feelings both times. My mother had those same sorts of dreams and always was afraid that something had happened.

Well, I always poo-pooed that internally while simply assuring her that I was fine and dandy. But after today, it does make me wonder.

First of all, I have assigned part of these feelings I have been having to the trump years. Something is always going on, continuing today with his insistence that the election was stolen and that he is not going to leave office. That horror, along with all the other random day to day things he does, along with Covid-19 and isolation, has me spooked. Then there are the dreams.

So, I get up, get myself settled, and look on the computer and see a news story about my old hometown of Nashville and a big explosion that happened there early this morning apparently.

I know exactly where the picture was taken. That is on 2nd Av in downtown Nashville, and right back of that is the river. That area is the relatively “new” area where the warehoused had been refurnished and had all sorts of restaurants (there was a love Ole Time Spaghetti Factory that I ate in quite frequently in the strip) and lots of boutique stores. Up toward the end where the reddish awning is showing and across the street was one of the hugest points for phone service in the entire city. Additional damage was done to that building knocking out part of the communications switching system, and ATT had to install two cell towers to bypass the downed communication.

The link below gives you some details, like the fact that a 63-year-old man in Antioch, a near suburb/bedroom community is being investigated. They don’t have a motive and it is possible other people are involved. Who knows, apparently they have had 500 phone calls giving suspicions so the 63-year-old man may not even be involved. He does have an RV that looks like the one that exploded and did all the damage, apparently.

Now, no motive is known. But we live in nervous times (at least I do) and a part of me is worried about domestic terrorism and while there is no information to suggest it YET, that is one possibility that occurred to me. Sometimes, it feels to me to be downright dangerous.

Now, based on my mother’s pattern and belief, the idea of my dreams being prophetic occurs to me, I have to admit. But it could simply be that I am feeling weird and “skittish” because I have eaten the wrong thing one too many times. :) The latter might be true, along with the tapes put in my head by my mother and father because I also had a conversation that seemed to flow naturally from the book club discussion and someone said something and I responded with a feeling of depression and “unworthiness” (I know, I know, I am a mess)
['Left Wisdom']
['Bombing', 'Disaster', 'Dreams', 'Premonition', 'Nervousness']