Going into Labor
It’s 5am on June 18, 2018, 2 days before my due date. I am sleeping with my bump on a wedge pillow. My cat loves to steal that wedge when I’m not around. I wake up having to pee, like I often do. And I don’t mean from being pregnant, that was already my life, having to pee all the time. I go to the bathroom to find blood. I don’t know what this means, is this labor? I wake up my husband and we check our list of “when to call the hospital”. Bleeding seems normal. I put on a pad, go downstairs, and lay on the couch. I try to sleep some more, but I’m having odd feelings that I cannot describe. I don’t think these are contractions, they don’t feel anything like what people have told me. I don’t feel stopped in my tracks. It feels like gas or period cramps. It’s low. It’s not high in my stomach. I keep trying to go to the bathroom, but there is nothing to come out. I start texting all of my friends and this is when I start really over analyzing what I am feeling. I am now noticing that these feelings are going in waves. A friend of mine says it must be minor contractions.

I spend the day wondering what’s going to happen. Are these contractions real? Am I going to feel like this for days? We decide to go to PetSmart and Ulta later in the evening. I’ve got to get my make up on. Whenever I go from standing to sitting, I really feel a wave of pain. We get home and wonder what my last meal should be. Let’s order me a cheesesteak. I can barely eat. We realize this is getting real and we wonder, how do you make a bottle? How do we clean the bottles for first use? We have not a clue.

I’m laying on the couch and I feel a small burst. Oh my god my water just broke. Good thing I’m wearing a pad. That was enough to catch it all. I go to the bathroom and see some dark in the pad. That means meconium aka baby poop. Just have to keep that in mind when we get to the hospital. So…we’re going! To the hospital! I try to call my doctor and she doesn’t pick up. My friend says, no, you go to the hospital. We are on our way and the doctor calls back. She is asking me a lot of questions. I remember from the birthing class they said that would happen because your doctor is trying to gauge how you are. I probably sounded totally normal. I ended up telling her we were already on our way in, I probably should have mentioned that first. I end up having 2 pretty bad contractions in the car, I’m thinking okay this is getting real.

I remember my friends warning me that when it’s time for the baby to come, you will want it out so badly that nothing happening to you matters. Your goal is to do everything you can to get that baby out. You are no longer worrying about how bad it’s going to hurt or how long it’s going to take. Your adrenaline is going and you are ready. It’s no longer scary. It’s time to get down to business. Except one thing remains true, I’m hungry. And I’m not allowed to eat.

We get to the hospital and nothing from the labor class we took seems legit. We park and I walk my ass into the hospital. On our way in, a nurse stops and says, “you having a girl?” How do people always know? We get inside the ER and it’s packed. Someone offers me a seat, but I am so confused as to what I am feeling, I say that it’s okay. The nurse comes to get us and doesn’t bring a wheelchair. After a little ways, she offers one. I say, it’s okay. I have no idea why I say it’s okay. She also is leading back 2 girls and their mom. One of the girls appears to have a kidney stone. Not sure why we are going to the same place, but we are. I have to stop for a second as a contraction passes. I hear the mom say to her girls “she’s having a contraction”. Okay thanks lady. We continue down many hallways, an elevator, and finally into the waiting area for labor and delivery. I sit there while Joe takes care of the paper work. Contractions are coming and going and I am ready to get going! After some time, we get led back to the triage room.

The nurse and mid wife start talking to me to explain the process. The midwife who is also named Jessica. No one in the hospital can remember how to spell her last name, they’re always asking her. It was something with a W. She explains that she will check me for dilation and if my water actually broke. If neither of these are true, I will get sent home. They’re explaining a lot. Like dude, can you get to business? The mid wife gets down to lady town and takes one look, “Oh. Your water definitely broke. I don’t even need to examine you.” She then expresses how she is surprised, she said I don’t look like I am laboring at all. Joe said with all the explaining at the beginning, he thought they were setting me up to get sent home. Then she gets up in there and says I am dilated 4…what is it..centimeters? I can’t remember ya’ll.

The nurse then asks if I am getting an epidural, she says it will take an hour until I can get it. I am definitely planning on getting one, but I don’t think the pain is necessarily that bad, can I put it off? She encourages me to get one ASAP. Joe agrees.

So, here we go! Time to get me all set up in a room. This time I get the wheelchair.

First we have to get my IVs in. I warn them that in the past an IV has had to go into the side of my thumb bone. I’m told we will try. Apparently we try multiple times. And then we call in the nurse who is the most skilled. This nurse says that my veins are obvious to the eye and she can start to get it in, and then it runs away. COOL. She gets it in eventually. During this whole process I have to pause for contractions, they aren’t consistent. I squeeze Joe’s hand and breathe it out. It’s so hard to breathe it out.

My primary nurse is just the nicest. She is explaining everything thoroughly. She explains what could happen during the process too. I didn’t even need to take the labor class, she hooked me up with all of the info. Part of what she tells me is 1. We could decide that we go across the hall to the ER for a c-section, but we could get there and decide to come right back (this comes in handy later) 2. If you have more oxygen, baby has more oxygen, so you may get an oxygen mask. 3. I forget the rest honestly.

At one point I ask if I can go to the bathroom. She says usually that means you are ready to push, do you feel like you’re ready to push? UM, NO! These contractions are just confusing man. I get hooked up with a catheter, too. There are so many wires and things attached to me in this whole process.

Now Mr. Epidural man walks in. Wearing his berkinstocks and coming in hard with the dad jokes. It takes him a while to get set up so he’s shooting the shit. As usual I get the comment “how can you have tattoos but be afraid of needles”. He tells me that it will hurt less then a tattoo. The directions are to sit on the side of the bed, with my arms crossed up on a table. If I have a contraction while he does this, I’m not allowed to move. Joe has to sit across the room. I ask if I can have a sip of water first and he kind of laughs and says no. Later I find out it’s because he made everything sterile. He asks when the last time I ate was and I said about 2 hours ago. He says he preferred that I didn’t eat anything. My nurse chimes in and says “she’s got to eat dinner”. THANK YOU! As if I knew that I was going to be getting an epidural tonight. My nurse stands on the other side of my arms and lets me hold her hand. Okay he was right, it hurt less than a tattoo. I don’t remember feeling much. But it could be because you know it’s exactly what you want in that moment.

It kicks in pretty instantly.

I live a straight edge lifestyle where I don’t touch any drugs. I hardly want to take medicine when I need to. I believe in letting my body do what it wants to do naturally. I don’t want a substance to mess with that. But in this situation, I never second guessed the drugs. Give me all the drugs you’ve got.

The instructions are to get some rest as we don’t know how long this will take. I’m not started on pitocin (the drug to speed up the process) yet. My doctor hasn’t arrived yet, but they have been on the phone with her. She has asked how far apart my contractions are, but she can’t be given a straight answer. They are apparently all over the place. I had multiple in a row and then nothing for a while. That’s how you know the epidural is working, I can’t feel it, but we can see it on the computer.

Of course Joe had alerted his parents that we were on our way to the hospital. They never responded. They showed up. They worked their magic and got back into the labor and delivery ward. How?! They end up coming into the room. His mom has a coffee and it smells so good. I’m only allowed to have water and clear soda (I think). I asked for their generic brand Seirra Mist. I have a few sips.

They come in with a giant peanut shaped balloon pillow looking thing. They want me to lay on my side with it in between my legs to try and encourage the baby to move over so her head can come down. Her head is up in lala land. Once this comes about, I say Joe’s parents need to go. And I tell Joe he can get into the comfy chair across the room.

After an hour, they need to flip me to put the peanut on the other side. Now, things start getting wild.

We got to the hospital around 7pm and baby comes out at 3am, so the time is somewhere in between.

Spoiler: I have a c-section and no complications from it (physically or emotionally). Stay tuned.
['Jess Red']
['Birth', 'Epidural', 'Labor', 'Pregnancy']