Plastic Toys Are Not Allowed in My House
Plastic Toys Are Not Allowed in My House

And other dumb things I said before I had a kid.

Photo by Susan Holt Simpson on Unsplash

Just five short months ago, I was 8 months pregnant with my first child. Since I had an out of hospital birth, everything had to be prepared when we got home, only eight short hours after her birth. My nesting kicked into overdrive the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy.

My mom was in town indefinitely to help.

All my bottles and nipples were stored in labeled bins, “slow flow, medium flow, fast flow.”

Diapers are organized neatly on her changing table.

All of her clothes hung and stored by size, labeled, of course.

A full drawer of burp cloths ready to catch any craziness that may come out of her

And like any first-time parent, I was both over-prepared in ways that I didn’t need to be and drastically under-prepared in other ways. Breastfeeding was relatively easy for both of us, so she rarely bottle-fed. So many bottles are stored in labeled containers that have never been used still.

She also rarely spits up, so the drawer full of burp cloths is really just taking up perfectly good dresser drawer real estate.

As for my mom and the diapers — both of them were needed.

What was most unsettling for me during pregnancy was that no matter how much I planned for my daughter’s arrival, there would inevitably be things that I didn’t plan for. Like the number of onesie pajamas she actually needs (way more than expected). And how terrible muslin blankets are for swaddling, even though they look so much cuter. Velcro swaddles for the win, always.

I also loathed the idea of primary-color-sound-making-terrible toys. You know the ones. The ones we 90s kids grew up on. I remember my brother had a helicopter that made the most piercing sound that even I, as a toddler, wanted to throw in the trash.

These noise-making-not-developmentally-sound toys did not fit the aesthetic or learning environment I was building for our daughter. They were not allowed, I vowed.

Parents, are your eyes rolling in the back of your head yet?
['Mindy Morgan Avitia']
['Family', 'Parenting', 'Life Lessons', 'Feminism', 'Motherhood']