My invented job as a Complimentary Drink at a virtual bar
Ahhhhh my heart sings looking at these photos!

The reason it worked so well at virtual Xmas parties, is because:

Company parties usually put on free drinks, so this is the alternative virtual bar

People just love a pun

Silly costumes

It is funny

It is interactive and connecting. I was talking with people, not just performing for them.

We were using playfulness to make it OK for me to say nice things and it not be too cringey or creepy

Words of affirmation is one of the Love Languages

It isn’t a very British thing to be forthcoming with compliments, especially to colleagues, and this was a great ice breaker.

I have seen first hand in the last 3 weeks that people LOVE being told nice things about themselves. Some people told me it should be called the ‘self-esteem room’, that they were blushing, that they were getting emotional, and that they haven’t heard such nice things from anyone in years, that they are sticking in this room until the bar runs dry. Compliments were free-flowing at our bar! Sometimes they wouldn’t quite get it, and assume they would be back-handed compliments, and be quite confused about it all being so positively positive. We would compliment strangers, maybe get a laugh, and then encourage others to compliment each other — and we were witnessing colleagues saying the most beautiful heartfelt things to each other! People would then go to the rest of the party but might pop back for a top up at the bar.

At the end of every party, I would feel a bubbling of joy endorphins inside of me rush to my head, thinking of the love that was created and exchanged. 💕💕💕💕💕💕.

Things that I noticed in my month of complimenting:

People often find it difficult to receive compliments. They are resistant to it, can’t take more than one, and get embarrassed easily.

People want to give a compliment back straight way, as ‘payment’ for the compliment that they received. I got so many compliments back, even though I was the Complimentary Drink!

was the Complimentary Drink! People love giving compliments to each other, they just need a little bit of encouragement.

All it takes is a few words to lift a person. So simple.

How did I go about complimenting? Well…I made sure I didn’t focus too much on appearance. Maybe they had a wonderful smile and gorgeous hair, sure. But it is so much better to compliment on the vibe they are giving off. I would tell people things that everyone needs to hear — “you are radiating with loveliness”, “you are valued”, “you are doing a great job at life”. I would mix it up with being totally authentic, then being a bit silly. My co-host would love to tell people completely abstract stories to get to a complimentary conclusion, for example about when he travelled to Guatemala and climbed a volcano and how that person reminded him of that experience — as they had so much power inside them, like that dormant volcano. Which was so random because then they lifted up their child’s game in front of them which was … ‘Build a Volcano’. Coincidence?

Well… there were lots of these coincidences and I am now completely convinced that I have some psychic abilities. I don’t think I was picking random compliments, I was feeling people and then positive words were flowing out of my mouth about them in-the-moment. They were often so shocked that I knew some specific detail about them. I was shocked too! I don’t know where it came from. I just knew they were a sailor or they had got into embroidery that year. It’s easy to tell if someone is life and soul of the party if they arrive with a fun outfit and are obviously gregarious, and if they were a bit older I would say what a great leader they were assuming that they must be the boss. It was more random when I instinctively knew that their best quality was how reliable and organised they were. People would ask if I had been prepped before their party with compliments, but I hadn’t, I was making it up entirely!

It has been such a buzz to bring Complimentary Drinks to Virtual Christmas parties this December. What next? I thought it would be funny to put myself on Fiverr. However I’d really love to expand the drinks troupe and set up the most loving bar, IRL. And go into companies after work on Friday evenings with a drinks trolley and a whole load of people dressed as drinks bringing unbridled joy to people for a pre-weekend boost! And just get the world to raise their vibrations to new levels of love, spreading it to everyone else. And for people to think lovely positive things about themselves more often too.

The world needs more joy and love. Why do we hold it back?! It has been a pleasure to be given the chance to encourage it at this time when people have been isolated for so long. And just remember… YOU ARE AMAZING!
['Iona Mcneil']
['Joy', 'Virtual Party', 'Compliments']