Why My Mother Never Allowed us Around Family
Why My Mother Never Allowed us Around Family

(Photo by Luis Galvez/Unsplash)

Introduction

For the first twelve years of my life, my mother kept my siblings and myself away from the people that we had “heard” to be our family. We knew their names, but no more knowledge than that. Family gatherings, funerals, all that was nonexistent to us. Even so, we had seen these people in photo albums my mom kept. It wasn’t until I was nearly fifteen, that I realized how good my mother was at covering things up, including her feelings.

Adoption

These…family members, weren’t actually family. At least, not on my mother’s side. My mother was placed in a foster home at an early age, more like birth range. Still to this day, we have never seen or aren’t even sure what her mother’s maiden name is. Because of this, my mother was placed in a foster home with my foster grandparents, Mary, and John. They took care of her to the best of their abilities (may they both rest in peace).

The Unwanted Truth

It wasn’t until my mother was in her teenage years, that she unwillingly got acquainted with some more of her foster family. My mother waited until I was fourteen to tell us, telling both my father and I at the same time about these “unwanted” family members. Without giving any details, my mother was trapped in the bathroom by a handful of our male “cousins.” They were all around her age, just a little older. One by one…she was violated. The first real info we were told…the first and main name that I constantly remember…a reoccurring villain in my mother’s life…Donald. The oldest out of her rapists.

Donald, The Recurring Threat

The problem I had with this intel, was that my mother waited so long to tell any of us. Donald had babysat me and my younger siblings, for weeks at a time while my parents left out of town, traveling from Flint Michigan to Cleveland Ohio. Donald also lived across the street from us at another point in time, so he was one of the few family members that remained in and out of our lives. He stayed on our radar. Following the information my mother told us, was more and more bad news as the years passed, even hearing that my mother wasn’t the only woman he raped. This…GUY…even raped the mother of his children. This…skinny…chickenshit…was a serial rapist!!

A Missed Chance

The last time I heard, Donald was on the run from a totally unrelated subject. Karma was hightailing him, forcing him to move somewhere in Arkansas with his mother. A few years back, my mother and father ran into Donald again, attending my great granny’s funeral, having the location they resided at being my granny’s daughter’s house (Donald’s mother’s house). I was in Arizona when my mother called me and told me Donald and my parents had to rest there, to save money instead of spending further funds on hotel fees. This enraged me. I was twenty-two at this age, so I was of age to confront the situation. The problem was, I hadn’t run into Donald. Every since I became an adult, I hadn’t even seen Donald. My father did though when they went to Arkansas to bury my great grandmother. Why my father didn’t kick Donald’s ass, was beyond me, and to be honest, I haven’t forgiven my father for this. Not entirely.

Better Luck Next Time

Speaking to my mother, she wanted Donald beaten up as well. She thought my father would do it, but the heartbreak in her voice when she called me, told me it wasn’t going to happen. My mother kept repeating the phrase, “If you were here Mikey, I know you would’ve done something.” At that moment, I knew where she was getting at. The torch was passed down to me…

Enjoyed this article about my mother and our family issues, read another article, going deeper into the thoughts of my mother’s dark space that is known as her mind. Link below…
['Sakari Lacross']
['Rape', 'Motherhood', 'Secrets', 'Family', 'Articles']