Cuddles and Masculinity
I had this friend when I was at school — David was his name. He’s one of the nicest guys I’ve had the pleasure of being friends with.

I’m gay, but David didn’t know I was gay. At the time, I was pretty much completely closeted apart from to a couple of people. Had I told him, I’m fairly sure he wouldn’t have cared anyway. We were young and open-minded.

I didn’t (and still don’t) exhibit many qualities that would traditionally be considered masculine. I’m a gay guy, and happily a gay guy, but I certainly don’t fit the stereotype of masculinity.

David on the other hand, did. It’s who he was.

He played rugby, he was toned and muscular. He prided himself on being a bit of a ladies’ man.

David and I had been close friends since before primary school. We used to spend a lot of time together with me would often going to his after the school day had finished.

We’d watch films together and we’d spoon. We just really liked cuddling. Perhaps it was the intimacy of it, or the contact; I don’t know. Nothing ever happened sexually (or otherwise) between us. I think he had a girlfriend at the time.

I can assure you: David is totally straight. We were just friends. (I didn’t have a crush on him, either).

I wouldn’t say straight men cuddling other men and enjoying it is common by any stretch. There is still a lot of stigma there and it’ll be a long time, especially in Western society, before men can openly embrace and show platonic love for each other.

But you always find people who you wouldn’t expect to buck the trend. David was one of those people and I’m sure he wasn’t alone.

The sooner we break down these barriers, the better. The world needs more openly and freely displayed love in it.
['Fred Shirley']
['Masculinity', 'Hugs', 'Toxic Masculinity', 'Friendship', 'LGBTQ']