How Characters From ‘Friends’ and ‘The Office’ Would Handle the Pandemic
How Characters From ‘Friends’ and ‘The Office’ Would Handle the Pandemic

What would Michael Scott be doing right now?

Photo by Hannah Busing on Unsplash

As a bunch of TV shows return for new seasons, many writers are leaning into the pandemic plotline that we all find ourselves living in. Honestly, I like it. I find it oddly comforting hearing Olivia Benson on Law and Order: SVU telling everyone to mask up. It’s also made me wish that I could have new episodes of shows that aren’t airing anymore, so I could see those characters handling this new reality.

Since I can’t watch TV now without yelling at the screen, “SIX FEET WHAT ARE YOU DOING,” I thought I’d imagine what my favorite characters might be doing during this pandemic … to make myself more comfortable when I go to watch them. It’s sort of helping.

Enjoy my musings on some of these classic characters, and please, wear a mask and social distance! Let’s keep each other safe.

Friends

Ross Geller

Is convinced that he had Covid before anyone else did and is actually the real “patient zero.” Keeps saying, “I couldn’t smell or taste anything, I swear!”

Monica Geller

Can’t believe she’s living through a year where being clean and staying safe is the most important thing. It’s her time to shine. Sets up hand-sanitizing stations in every room in her apartment and buys anything she can in bulk. Sprays everyone down before they come anywhere near her. Throws the most elaborate socially distant park picnic anyone has ever seen.

Rachel Green

Only wears masks that perfectly match her outfit. Figures if she survived all that college partying then she can definitely survive this pandemic.

Chandler Bing

Takes the pandemic very seriously, but has never made so many jokes in his life.

Joey Tribbiani

Brings a tape measure with him everywhere so he knows exactly how much distance is six feet, but still goes on tons of dates. Claims it doesn’t count somehow.

Phoebe Buffay

Knits all of her friends masks that either don’t fit or have holes in them.

The Office

Michael Scott

Tried to petition that his branch be the only branch allowed to keep working from the office. Kept saying, “You can’t break up our family!” It didn’t work. Now calls way more meetings than he used to just so he can get everyone on-screen together, and changes his Zoom background every single time. He’s also started showing up outside everyone’s houses with a megaphone for what he calls “social distance comedy hours.”

Dwight Schrute

Is convinced he’s immune to the virus because of his superior Schrute DNA but is also positive that the pandemic marks the beginning of the end, and spends most of his time in his emergency bunker. Before the office shut down, he wore his hazmat suit to work every day, just to prove a point.

Jim and Pam Halpert

Every Friday night, they do a different cute quarantine date to keep things exciting. Jim has also taken to hiding things around the house for Pam to find as something to do instead of working. Since he can’t prank Dwight in the office, he frequently drives to his house and sets up different pranks around his farm. Social distance style, of course.

Angela Martin

Never attends a Zoom meeting without at least three of her cats.

Ryan Howard

Claims he’s found an unknown company that’s figured out the cure for Covid and keeps asking for donations from everyone to support them.

Meredith Palmer

Keeps asking random men if they want to quarantine with her. Definitely hasn’t grasped what quarantine really means.

Oscar Martinez

Loves to critique the way people use Zoom and tries to give everyone “work from home tips” constantly.

Stanley Hudson

Is thrilled to finally have an excuse to stay six feet away from everyone at all times.

Kevin Malone

Left a sandwich in the office fridge before it closed. He’s hoping it’ll still be good to eat once it opens up again.

Kelly Kapoor

Buys a ton of masks that match all of her outfits. Gets upset when Ryan doesn’t notice.

Andy Bernard

Learned all about pandemics at Cornell University so he feels like he’s pretty prepared for this. His biggest annoyance is that his family vacations keep getting canceled. “You can’t catch Covid on a boat,” he claims.

Erin Hannon

Still isn’t quite sure what Zoom is or how it works.

Phyllis Vance

She and Bob Vance (of Vance Refrigeration) left town at the beginning of the pandemic and no one’s seen her since.

Darryl Philbin

Has ignored every call from Michael since the pandemic started. Claims covid has infected his phone and laptop. Michael believes him.

Toby Flenderson

Is never on any of the group Zoom calls because Michael refuses to let him in.
['Caitlin Jill Anders']
['Humor', 'Movies', 'Creativity', 'Culture', 'TV Series']