04 — thoughtful gifts. today was monday, and it was a good…
today was monday, and it was a good one! i am thoroughly enjoying my lack of school at the moment. today was a pretty relaxed, yet also pretty productive day. i got to see a few of my friends (from a distance and outside, of course) and we did part of our christmas gift exchange. one of my friends made each of us a personalized playlist and even burned it on a cd and included a card that explained why she chose each song. yeah, she definitely wins gifts this year. i’ve really been struggling to find gifts for a few of my friends this year. i always tend to get really anxious about gifts; i want everything to be perfect and really make sure people see how much i love them and care about them through the gift. i put a lot of pressure on myself to make sure it’s something that the person will actually like, and i really beat myself up if i perceive any slight indication of subtle distaste from the receiver. this year i’ve been working on my anxiety a lot in general, so i’m doing my best to do the same with christmas gifts. i need to remind myself how small gifts are and how they do not determine nor affect my worth, and 99% of the time, they won’t affect the other person’s opinion of me. and besides, i shouldn’t be so hung up on other people’s opinions of me in the first place! i’m feeling a bit down since i was really hoping to make this christmas super magical for all of my friends since it’s our last high school christmas, but some of my closest friends i haven’t been able to see for months. breathe, kat. everything is okay. work today was fun — a few of my coworkers got me little gifts and it was so sweet! i’m the youngest at the firm and most of my close coworkers are parents and grandparents, and i always love the creative things they find for me. i’m feeling really scatterbrained and excited to get organized and gain some clarity next week for new years. i smiled big today — i’ve been trying to do that more. it helps to calm me down when i breathe and smile. the week is already somehow flying by and it’s only monday. time to do a little tidying up in my room before heading to bed :)
['Kat Diercks']
['Diary', 'High School', 'Christmas', 'Journal', 'Teens']