You’re Just Too Scared To Admit That You Have No Passion At All.
You’re Just Too Scared To Admit That You Have No Passion At All.

Photo by gbarkz on Unsplash

What I chose to study was never for my passion…

This is not so short, but let me tell you why I had never thought of my passion.

Since I was a child, going to school and studying hard were obvious things for me, and I have never doubted it.

I got used to having good results and being one of the top students at school. Even my parents were familiar with it, so I was never under any pressure from them.

It was a normal day at the end of each semester when my name was called, I went up to the stage, received certificates and gifts for good students, then went home joining my parents’ normal reactions. I knew they were happy but that’s just how my parents were.

I thought I was smart because I was always quicker than my classmates in comprehending new lessons. It was until the last year of secondary school when I realized I was not that smart.

At that time, my parents, my teacher, and even my friends were convincing me to try the entrance exam of my province’s school for the gifted, but I knew it wasn’t for me. Although I was good at subjects, especially Math, I could not deal with the trickiest problem in the test.

Things were getting clearer at high school, where I got to study with much better classmates.

I was hardly ever the one that solved a knotty problem the fastest, but somehow, I still managed to get high scores compared with my friends when it came to exams.

I figured out that I was good at preparing, planning, and executing things carefully.

Furthering my study, I went to a well-known university of technology in my country smoothly.

I remember the way I chose my major, engineering, was quite a typical one that most of the students often did.

The fact is, everyone was just focusing on the exam. Making the decision on what they were going to study in the following years, which should have been their top priority, was mostly done by their parents, or following in their siblings’ footsteps, or simply following the crowd.

Some, who were more active, made the decision for themselves by choosing top schools, or majors that would supposedly earn them a lucrative income after graduation.

Actually, I didn’t see anyone saying that they had picked the major because of their passion.

And me, I was simply following in my brother’s footsteps. No doubt. No hesitation. No investigation into other majors.

I can’t remember if I had ever heard about the word “passion” during that time.

I thought having a passion was indispensable

Five years of the university told the truth.

It was hard for me to get the hang of studying at university.

It took me almost two years to get everything back to its track. I mean the score. I say that because the next years saw that I was struggling to apply theories into practice.

I started questioning my real ability for the major and thinking about my real passion.

The last year truly smacked me with a traumatic upheaval, which I describe with “excitement, disappointment, depression, determination, graduation”.

There were a few times when the disappointment reached its top, I wanted to drop out of school, but I was hesitant to do it because I could not find my passion.

I reassured myself “Keep getting to know myself, and it will come one day”. I believed that everyone has their own hidden passion.

There are always tons of articles about the topic of passion on social media, online news, or newspaper, they talk about “How to define your passion?” “what’s a life without passion?”, “Trying to make money on your passion means killing it”. That means passion is seriously a huge topic for youngsters, especially Millennial, and now Gen Z.

I know not only me but many people out there still cannot stop themselves from seeking the meaning of their life — their passion.

The reason could be that stories of success thanks to doing things with true passion are ubiquitous, and self-help content, which has been rising tremendously over recent years, creates faith in us that our passion would come one day.

We are every day depressingly battling with the idea “Life is meaningless if I don’t have a passion to follow”.

Having perceived that in order to find my passion, I had to start by getting to know myself better, which I had never thought of during my first 12 years at school.

Moment of truth…

After all, facing the question of “what is my passion”, I now can be content to say that I do not have a passion at all.

This is never easy to say out loud for anyone because we are afraid of social pressures, of being lonely in a society that praises living and working with passion. We fear that our life would go nowhere in the absence of a real passion.

So, you may ask “What’s the definition of passion in your universe?”. You could have your own definition, but this is mine

“Passion is a thing that is both your hobby and your way of making a living. It gives you feelings of excitement to start, devotion to do, and fulfillment to finish. You enjoy having it and it rewards you with your life goal.”

Why can I proclaim that truth?

The reason is that all the things I do, I do it because it is necessary for me to reach my life goal, I don’t really love it, I just enjoy doing it to some extents, I don’t want to spend my whole time doing it only, I tire of it at times, but it leads me to what I want, and the results fulfill me.

Is it OK not to have a passion?

From my perspective,

it’s not about having a passion, it’s about being happy in the end. Don’t try to figure out what your passion is, ask yourself what makes you happy. When you know it, you’ll find ways to get it.

My life has been way better since the courageous decision of perceiving myself that way.

I’m relieved because I have finally realized that I was going after something not existing.

If I continued to look for my passion, I would be disoriented endlessly and never be satisfied with who I am.

It is favorable if you have a passion, even more wonderful if the passion is accompanied by your true ability, and then well provides your life.

However, not having a passion doesn’t mean something bad. The one thing that is bad is that you don’t realize it and you’re not brave enough to admit it.

Without a specific passion, you’re not confined in a zone created by yourself, you’re free to experience and discover, you never stop striving, and you calmly accept the differences in you and in others.

What you should do is define your life goal, what you really want for your life, then everything you do has to circle around the big thing.

Solve your problems one by one, and what should come will come.
['Tung Vo']
['Passion', 'Self Improvement', 'Personal Development', 'Motivation']