If Programming Languages Had Honest Slogans
Java

We’re getting old and were always verbose. But pay us and we’ll give you long term support.

C

I might be the oldest, but you still have to allocate me space. Pointing at others is my favorite hobby.

C++

You can hate us, despise us, but we’ll find our ways into your framework. We believe in friends at work.

C#

I’m neither like my father nor a music note. I’d see sharper than Java, only if there was cross-platform GUI support.

Lua

Beginners love us because array indexing starts at 1. But arrays aren’t arrays and objects aren’t objects as we view everything as tables.

JavaScript

We promise, this isn’t a script for Java or derived from it. By the way, Apple’s Safari engine still calls us back.

Python

We’ve made it possible to write pseudo-code in real even if you don’t understand it. Not a semicolon or a bracket but extra whitespace is all it takes to cause chaos.

Go

Google wasn’t only lazy with my name — they robbed us of generics and lambdas. But we have the best anthem.

PHP

You needn’t learn much to use me but one missing bracket is all it takes to hate me. We offer no naming conventions or styles by default and are only as bad as you make us look.

Swift

We’re easy on the eyes, concise, and faster than many. Not as confusing as Objective-C until you run out of memory.

Kotlin

We’re the language every Java developer deserved. Saving you from the dreaded NPEs and verbosity while running on the good old JVM. But you can’t have fun .

Rust

Not as outdated as my name, I provide memory safety, avoid possible race conditions, and am averse to garbage collectors. I love borrowing and am stronger than “C” only if you have time to learn me.

COBOL

We resurrect every few years and even today the whole unemployment system depends on us. Besides, we are hiring.
['Anupam Chugh']
['Programming', 'JavaScript', 'Java', 'Python', 'Startup']