How to Have a Successful Long-Distance Relationship

Relationships of any kind can be hard. Throw in a complication like distance, and they can feel nearly impossible sometimes. Long distance relationships are not something that people aim for, but sometimes meeting the perfect one for you means that you're going to have to compromise about a personal detail. In this case, it may be the fact that he or she lives a hundred to several thousand miles away, or travels that far for work. Military and commercial fishing families, airline families and cross-country loves know this firsthand, and many of them make it work. Here are some of the tricks to keeping your long distance relationship a happy one:

Own it
You fell for someone who lives or works far away. You are old enough and of sound mind enough to make this choice, and you are in no way a victim of anything. Don't pretend to be. Don't feel sorry for yourself, but face the fact that you knowingly chose someone far away. If they moved after you started dating, you still made conscious choices to stay together in your respective locations. You are not star-crossed, you are someone who made the best choice they could from the options given. Own it or change your choice.

Be Grateful
Find things about your world to be grateful for, and share them with your long distance honey. They can be small things like a sunset, or big things like a promotion, or personal things special to only you two, like a movie marathon of your favorite underappreciated series or genre on television. Knowing that there will be something happy, even interspersed with other parts of your day, with every conversation you have will likely make him or her more excited to talk to you. Everyone loves shared joy.

Make Plans
No matter how much time you spend apart, the key to the lasting relationship comes when you look at how to spend time together. Meetups at vacation spots, weekend tradeoffs in one another's hometowns and epic road trips are just some of the options available to you. If you're not planning how to spend your free time together, then start. Figure out how long you can be apart before things start to break down, and begin to schedule something for a week or two before that time. Make these times together concrete, and don't schedule work over them or push them. Make certain that your love feels like your priority. This is often enough to make certain that the relationship stays fresh, and everyone feels important no matter how far away you are, and how long you have to stay that way. Finally, don't leave a vacation together without concrete plans for a new one. This keeps your love from wondering if this time with you is the last.

Cite this page: N., Pam M.S., "How to Have a Successful Long-Distance Relationship," in, January 25, 2016, (accessed September 19, 2021).