High Strangeness: It Was Cold

Sunday, October 23, 2011

It Was Cold

I have always been a self-starter. If somebody tells me I can't become a Certified UFO Field Investigator until after the first of the year, I'm not going to spend the next two and a half months sitting around and waiting. I'm going to study up on UFO sighting reports, I'm going to look for patterns and outliers, I'm going to try to figure out which investigators gets assigned to which cases, and why. I'm going to look for "The Big One."

So far I have not found any of these things, but I have found some interesting sighting reports. Some are creepy, some are charming, some are puzzling, some are funny, and some... some just make me want to slap up the people filing the reports.

Take this report, for instance: just yesterday, October 22, 2011, a gentleman in Kxxxxxxx reported that he was out on his balcony at 2:30 am having a smoke when he saw a light in the sky that stood out from all the other stars because it was flashing all sorts of colors and flitting around the way a fly flits around. The gentleman called his girlfriend out to the porch, and she spotted the object before he could point it out to her. She said it must be a UFO and then she quickly called the Air Force.

No, I lied. She didn't call anybody. What she did was, she got cold and went back inside. Good job, girlfriend! Thanks for helping to solve the UFO enigma. Hope you got a good night's sleep.

But wait, the guy stayed outside. He wasn't going to let this moment slip through his fingers. Not him! Especially not when he started to get a strange psychic message from the object compelling him to come to it. He figured the object was only a few miles away, and he knew he could reach it in just a few minutes. So he got in his car and headed in the direction of the strange light, urged on by the psychic message that kept drumming through his brain.

No, I lied. He didn't drive anywhere. He went inside and went to sleep, because he worked the next day. Good job, guy! Thanks for helping to solve the UFO enigma. Hope you were really productive at work today.

Meanwhile, what of the UFO? There it is, flashing and flitting, trying so hard to get this couple interested, sending out those psychic messages to that guy, wanting so badly for him to come driving up that road... And they got nothing.

I feel sorry for that UFO. I wouldn't blame it if it just turned right around and went back to Alpha Centauri. And that couple... I'll try to be charitable. Maybe they had just gotten a new sleep number mattress that day. Maybe they're both narcoleptic. I hope so, because otherwise they owe the entire human race a good explanation.

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