MY compliments to the art department. I have never gagged this early into an episode, but I can say with confidence that this is now THE episode to beat.

Claire stumbles across the corpse of a Highlander killed by a redcoat patrol, and studies him somewhat dispassionately, musing on the number of men she has seen die in war.

She realizes that there is now no avoiding the rebellion, and fears that she and Jamie may not be able to rewrite the outcome.

As Jamie grumbles in the background about how long she’s taking ”to take simple p*sh,” she calls matter-of-factly to him that she will be right there, picks up the fallen man’s Lochaber axe and comes to a bitter conclusion that answers her initial question. “How many men had I seen killed in war? Far, far too many.” It is a somber place to begin.

We know from history and from Claire herself that the Jacobites win the day at Prestonpans. A battle however, is not a war. The man’s noteworthy but ultimately undistinguished end - together with Claire’s ruthless practicality in taking his weapon - serve to foreshadow both the closing moments of the episode, and the idea that there is no wartime victory ever worth its cost.

We are introduced to Charles’s two main advisors: General and Quartermaster Sir John O’Sullivan , an Irishman who earned Charles’s notice by becoming known for guerilla warfare on France’s behalf in Corsica; and Lord George Murray of Clan Murray, a native Scot who Charles made Lieutenant-General and was the popular favorite as leader over the less-liked Quartermaster.

I hope y’all appreciate the history, because I think I need a nap now.

Basically O’Sullivan favors a quick, strong attack, while Murray favors keeping their defensive position on the high ground. Charles favors snacking and he spends the bulk of the meeting eating his feelings.

The commanders shout at each other over Charles’s head, and Jamie interrupts to point out that whoever attacks the other side would have to cross Tranent Meadow, a boggy ground unlikely to do more than entrap man and horse alike and make them helpless targets to an English volley.

Basically no one can agree on anything, except maybe the fact that Charles’s suit is FIERCE.

Jamie suggests a cavalry expedition to survey the ground, but that causes another argument since they have no cavalry. Charles points out that they took Perth and Edinburgh without any shots being fired, and that his people welcomed him, but Jamie and Murray rightfully point out that this was due to the element of surprise, and that Sir John Cope, the commanding English General, would not be so taken unawares again.

Charles suddenly changes tactics, wondering aloud if he could not meet with General Cope and offer him generous terms of surrender, since he is sure he has no more desire to spill English blood than he. “We are all brothers, after all.” This consideration for their common enemy silences the room.

It is the Quartermaster who thinks of what to say, gently telling Charles that even as a lad he “had the kindest of hearts,” but that his men came to fight a war and it is best to fight and be done with it.

This prompts objections from Murray, who then fights with O’Sullivan and everything goes to hell. When the Laird of Clan McDonald asks what to tell his men, Jamie says that they should “await further orders, which may be some time.”

Charles follows Jamie out, and wonders at the intractability of the Scots. He tells Jamie that their cause must succeed, as he has promised both his father and God.

He also asks if Claire will be among those providing care for the wounded, and when Jamie answers that she is setting up a field hospital, Charles once again shows not only leniency but preference for the English, asking that their wounded be treated ahead of the Jacobites.

In Charles’s mind, he must show that the Scots are attacking the English with “the greatest of reluctance,” and though they be enemies now they will all be friends again under his father’s mantle. Jamie smirks at the idea that they will ever be friends, and offers Charles a bit of advice: lay off the Anglophilia around his men, who would not appreciate the sentiment.

He also tells him Claire would not obey such an order. Charles tells him that maybe not from her Prince, but surely she would prove obedient to an edict from her lord and master? OH CHARLES.

Before Jamie leaves his hallowed presence, Charles holds up his ring to be kissed. If you’re playing along at home, drink twice.

In the camp, the bored men start acting up. What starts as teasing between Angus and Rupert toward Ross and Kincaid ends with Angus’s dirk at Kincaid’s throat, and Murtagh’s threat to put the blade down unless he wants it rammed so far up him he can taste it.

I would have totally dated Murtagh in college if only for the one-liners. Really, all the insults in this section are sublime, and I will make them into ringtones.

They argue so loudly they wake a cranky Dougal from his nap and cause Jamie, who is walking past, to break things up by getting Angus to put his weapon down.

Jamie dryly remarks that they are getting on as well as the commanders and responds to Murtagh’s question about orders in the negative.

They are not likely to have orders for some time but they do need a reconnaissance of the marshlands that separate them from the English camp. If the ground is solid enough and the Quartermaster has his way, then they will attack. He tells the men to rest up and asks his uncle for a word.

Jamie takes Dougal to look at the meadow, and while the older man points out that a man could get a musket ball between the eyes for riding out on it, Jamie downplays the risk if such a man is “prudent and lucky.”

Knowing if the terrain can support one man on horseback would mean it can support infantry, and therefore an attack on the English.

Dougal predictably falls into the trap, commenting that Charles would not have “one of his trusted aides” endangered, but all he would need to do is stay out of the range of the guns.

Jamie smirks, back to his uncle, as he tells him that 125 yards should do it. Dougal being Dougal, he says he was “thinking closer to 105.”

Jamie warns him that the redcoats would only be too happy to take a shot at a living target, but Dougal says it’s worth the risk and he is ready to prove his mettle. “So then… 125 yards?” Jamie asks him. “Or thereabouts,” is Dougal’s reply.

Dougal takes his horse and rides slowly into the meadow, arms outstretched as both sides gather to watch him. The English soldiers get their rifles, while the Scottish side watches in tense awe.

Even Charles remarks upon it, calling Dougal an “extraordinary fellow.” Angus tells him Dougal’s name, and asks his own. When Charles clarifies that he is his Prince, both Angus and Rupert lose all chill.

Meanwhile about halfway through Tranent Meadow, Dougal’s horse gets stuck in the muck, and as he tries to manoeuvre out, the English start to fire. The shots pepper the bog all around them, and Dougal dismounts to help pull his horse through.

At one point, his bonnet is shot right off his head, and he reaches down to retrieve it, shots landing by his feet as he decides he has learned all he needs to know.

He mounts his horse once more and heads back to the cheers of the Scots, and an effusive hug from his Prince. Still, his news means no charge towards the British, and once more the generals disagree how to proceed.

Charles does not wish to retreat, and charges Murray with figuring the situation out or losing his position. Jamie walks over to congratulate his uncle and tell him to have his head looked at.

Dougal refuses the medical care but does say he will go change his breeks, as “the hero of the hour has shat his pants.”

In the field hospital, Claire speaks to the volunteers about their assignments: explaining certain aspects of their care while trying to keep an eye on a restless Fergus, who she makes responsible for keeping the fires lit.

Later that night, a local named Richard Anderson shows up. His father owns the land, and he knows of a way down the ridge where the Scottish troops are that will take them to meet the British. Claire sends Fergus to get Jamie, and Richard goes on to tell Charles, Jamie, and Murray about the path.

Though it is not marked on any map, Richard is willing to take them to it. Charles wishes O’Sullivan were there to give his opinion, but Jamie tells the Prince that “delay could prove fatal,” and Charles decides to move forward. “We shall not return unless we bring victory with us.”

That night before the battle, Ross and Kincaid have a friendly conversation settling their affairs which is overheard by Angus. The Lallybroch men promise to look after each other’s wives, farms and children if anything should happen to either of them, and Kincaid even tells Ross about some money he buried.

Angus turns to Rupert and tells him bluntly that he can have his sword, dirk, and sporran, including “all that it contains.”

Rupert wants to know what he is talking about, and Angus repeats what he heard the other men say to each other. “What’s mine is yours.” Rupert teases him back, joking about what use he could have for a sword that has never been used.

Angus ignores this, also offering him a part-time whore they both know, holding his hand out to spit-shake on it. Rupert refuses, telling him to shut it before he brings the devil’s eye upon them.

The MacKenzies aren’t the only ones thinking about the coming battle. Murtagh sits alone, thoughtfully polishing his dirk, when Jamie comes by and warns him that he’ll be grinding it into a needle if he doesn’t unload whatever is on his chest.

I can’t read the previous sentence twice without giggling because I am really a 13-year-old boy. Murtagh muses that in a raid, a man can tell himself that the mission can succeed or fail depending on whether or not he plays his part.

Furthermore, if he is to kill someone or to die, his death would have meaning because his memory would live on in the clan. Waiting to go to battle for a cause for Charles, Murtagh feels like one more body in an army of 2000 men, and he tells Jamie that among so many “Five hundred, a thousand would have to be slain for our deaths to take on any meaning.”

Jamie doesn’t think the thought is comforting on the eve of battle, but has no words to comfort him. Instead he unloads his own burden: he almost lost his marriage trying to stop all of this from happening, and feels he failed.

“Hey, we failed,” Murtagh chides, and Jamie places a hand on his godfather’s shoulder, telling him that if it is any comfort, he feels much the same as he. “Aye, it is,” the older man agrees.

Sigh. This friendship, y’all. My primary ship might be Claire/Jamie, but the S.S. Murtie is also full speed ahead.

Jamie tells Claire to get some sleep, but she thinks it unlikely. They are just about to kiss as Fergus shows up, eager for permission to go with Jamie and the other men.

He tells Jamie he can sneak into Cope’s tent and steal his sword. Jamie isn’t swayed, though, and tells Fergus that there is no one he trusts more to guard Lady Broch Tuarach.

Into this little family moment come Murtagh, Angus and Rupert to tell Jamie that it is time to go. Angus asks Claire for another kiss, and she jokes that there must be another woman he can ask. “None that’ll have him,” Rupert deadpans, and Angus reminds Claire that he could be in a ditch the next day, and he would hate to think his last thought would be how she denied him his wish. “You are shameless,” Claire smiles, and kisses his cheek.

Superstitious Rupert says he won’t say goodbye, but will see her in victory to “share a stiff dram.” Claire then turns to Murtagh, who she asks to watch over Jamie. “Always,” he replies, wanting reassurance that they win this particular battle before leaving. I should be suspicious of the fact that every single Highlander has been given a beat or two so far this episode to shine, but what can I say? I’m dumb.

Left alone, Claire and Jamie share several desperate kisses and then break apart, staring at each other for ten full seconds (!) with their hearts in their eyes before Claire whispers “On your way, soldier.” Jamie smiles, bows gallantly to her, and is off.

A couple of minutes past the episode’s halfway mark, the battle commences. Back at the camp Claire orders the nurses to rest when she notices Fergus is gone.

He is with the men, sneaking through the misty dawn with his small sword in hand. Once daylight comes, Jamie asks Lord Murray to keep the Prince out of harm’s way before he gives the order to attack.

Charles wants to lead the charge and is instantly offended, but Jamie tells him the rebellion wouldn’t survive his loss, nor would the throne mean as much to his father without the son who helped obtain it.

Charles notes the “touching sentiment” but doesn’t think his father is all that fond of him.

Still, Jamie insists. As Claire supervises the last-minute preparations at the field hospital, she notes the worry and low spirits of the women with her, and tries to reassure them that they are up to the task before them and that they will not let their men down.

I love this evidence of Claire as an inspiring leader in her own right. We often see more of her impulsive side on the show, but she is in fact a trained professional who is very much dedicated to her vocation.

We cut back to the battlefield. All is quiet and white as Jamie gives the signal and the Scots charge, coming out of the mist like the wrath of God.

They catch the English camp asleep, and the battle is fierce and bloody and graphic and I look away on every viewing except the first, because NO. It’s beautifully shot and the action is amazingly choreographed, but I’m a pacifist. I looked like this the entire time (minus the rifle):

About 7 minutes after the start of the battle, the first known casualty presents itself.

A bloody Ross carries Kincaid into the hospital on his shoulders. Claire rushes to examine the man, but despite his mute anger, there is nothing more she can do.

Back in the field with men dying all around him, Fergus looks small and pale. An English officer shouts at his men to fight as they start to retreat. Instead he rushes forward himself, swinging his sword into the mist, and cutting down Rupert MacKenzie.

Back at the hospital, the British casualties arrive just moments before Angus Mhor, almost fully supporting the weight of his best friend.

He tells Claire, who is tending an English soldier that Rupert needs her and when she answers that she will be there in a second he roars “NOW!” Rupert has a giant slash across one side which Claire must stitch up, but when he comes to, he asks first after Angus. “Did he get blown up? TELL ME!”

Claire asks what happened, but Angus says it was nothing. Just a cannon blast. We see through flashbacks that right after Rupert was cut down, Angus shot and killed the man who wounded him.

The moment after Rupert sees and smiles at his friend, a cannon ball explodes and lands right behind Angus, its concussive force sending him flying face-first into the ground a moment before Rupert loses consciousness and crumples.

After his surgery, Angus wants to know if Rupert will live, but Claire cannot say, only that he is strong and if infection does not set in, chances are good.

She asks to take a look at Angus and though he insists he is fine, she tells him that if anything he might be suffering a mild concussion and not to sleep. Not a problem for Angus, who though he be “bone weary” is content to “keep both eyes on this big belly … goin’ up and down.” Claire tells him that as long as it does, there is hope.

Just then Jamie walks in with Murtagh, and his eyes instantly find his wife’s. “The day is ours, Sassenach.”

He gives her a proud run-down of events: British routed, Cope in retreat, and hundreds of dead or wounded left behind on the English side. Murtagh marvels that the whole thing took less than 15 minutes, and that their casualties can’t number more than the same.

Meanwhile, the Frasers mack on each other like they’re crab legs at a buffet.

They kiss, happy to be reunited, and Jamie stares adoringly at his wife as she checks him over … and remembers Fergus, who she is sure went to fight.

Jamie tells her not to worry as he is outside, and she goes to find him. With a reaction mothers everywhere would recognize, she simultaneously crushes him in a hug and reprimands him.

Fergus doesn’t really react, dazed with shock. He tells Claire that he thinks he killed an English soldier, and she cries and tells him she is sorry. When she asks if he is injured, he tells her he is just tired, and Claire embraces him again to take him somewhere to eat and sleep.

In the aftermath of the battle, Dougal is wandering around the camp administering a coup de grace to any surviving British soldiers. One of the wounded recognizes him, calling to him by name. It is Lt. Jeremy Foster, who escorted him and Claire to Captain Randall back in the season one episode “Rent.”

Though Dougal remembers him as “the only honorable redcoat in Lord Thomas’s staff,” he won’t take him back to the infirmary, and says he has additional work to do there.

This is where it all falls apart for Lt. Foster, who questions if Dougal’s thirst for blood is not yet slaked, and warns him that though he won the battle that day, he cannot defeat the British army. “You will never win this war,” he tells the Scot.

“Well,” Dougal replies, taking out his dirk and stabbing him under the ribs, holding him by the face to make sure he looks at him, “God alone knows the answer to that.” He pulls the knife out, matter-of-factly wiping it on the Lieutenant’s coat. “And if so, I’ll look for you in Hell.” Man, it is literally deadly to forget what an *sshole Dougal can be.

Back at the hospital, Ross finally pulls the sheet over Kincaid’s face. When he looks up, Angus is watching him and he assures him that they did not run.

Angus turns to joke with Jamie and Murtagh about Rupert, saying that it was his third portions and “that blubber” that likely protected him. “Aye, the man could eat,” Jamie says with a smile, and his use of the past tense makes both other men look at him sharply. “Can eat, I meant to say.”

Claire comes over and notices a horseshoe on Jamie’s back. A horse stepped on him during the battle, and she hands him a glass jar to fill to see if there is any blood in his urine. Jamie jokingly hands it to a wounded English soldier, asking him to hold it while he aims.

This turns into a bet where the man places the jar a few feet away and dares Jamie to fill it from where he stands.

Jamie enthusiastically takes said bet, and is in the process of fulfilling its terms AND filling the jar when Prince Charles walks in. The Prince studiously avoids looking at Jamie, thanking Claire instead, and then walks in to tell Jamie that his deeds that day “will be forever remembered.”

He then tells a roomful of wounded Scotsmen and Englishmen who just fought and killed each other at his urging that the fact that his victory was over England brought a “damp chill” to his heart, as both countries are to him as one country.

It is an uncomfortable moment that shows how out of touch Charles is with the men he claims to represent, and it is only made more so when Dougal arrives, shouting about their victory.

After feeling up a nurse, Dougal’s attention is pulled away by Jamie calling his name in rebuke and, when he notices that the English soldiers are being tended to, he ignores his nephew’s explanation and lunges at them, dirk in hand.

It takes Charles to effectively silence him, walking up to him and holding his face to ensure he pays attention much like Dougal did to Lt. Foster.

Charles snaps at him that the English soldiers are his father’s subjects, and each of them his brother. He berates him for his “lack of Christian charity,” and tells Jamie that he wishes Dougal removed from the rolls immediately, as there is no room for such men in his army.

Dougal walks out with his head hung, shame evident in every line of his body, but halts when Jamie unexpectedly intervenes on his behalf. The younger man tells Charles that Dougal is a true warrior, despite “his foolish tongue,” and requests instead that Dougal be promoted to Captain of the newly created Highlander Dragoons.

He tells Charles that he can give him 15 horses and men, and let him follow the English, reporting on their positions and disrupting their supply lines. This would keep Dougal in the army but far from Charles’s sight.

Charles, pleased at Jamie’s mind, tells Dougal that he is in Jamie’s debt and that the older man should “See that he does not come to regret his benevolence.”

To his credit, Dougal walks straight back to his nephew and thanks him, swearing that he will not have cause to regret his generosity. Jamie makes as if to walk past but Dougal stops him, quietly whispering that he knows what he is up to.

“You champion me and you exile me, both at the same time. That’s a plan worthy of my brother.”

He walks away to speak to Angus, but the man is slumped over as if exhaustion has finally got the better of him - or drink. Sadly, it is neither. He slumps into Dougal’s arms. Claire rushes over as he is choking and lifts his shirt to discover a giant bruise where the force of the cannon ball caused his internal organs to rupture.

Angus has been bleeding internally this entire while, hastening it along by drinking. He stares wide-eyed at those congregated around him, blood staining his lips and some truly awful sounds coming from his throat as he chokes on his own blood.

Jamie asks Claire if there is nothing she can do, and she does not answer, gaze riveted on the small Scotsman as he attempts to speak to her. It is too garbled to make out. Suddenly, the noises stop. He is gone.

DAMN IT, OUTLANDER. I was looking forward to one happy episode. ONE. Why do you hate my liver?

Jamie crosses himself and both he and Dougal drop their heads. Suddenly, a long, tortured groan. It is Rupert, rising from his sickbed to hobble painfully over to his fallen friend.

He kneels by Angus, takes his sword from its scabbard, and sits heavily down with it, cradling it to his chest like a child.

Everyone is shocked by the sudden violence of Angus’s end, and I have to believe, of the acute sense of loss felt for a man who was so often a thorn in the side of even those who loved him best.

**BOOK NERD BREAK** In the books, Angus Mhor was a radically different character than what he became in the show. In both Outlander and Dragonfly in Amber, “Big Angus” was a giant of a man who was Colum Mackenzie’s loyal bodyguard, as Rupert was Dougal’s.

His conversion to one-half of the comic relief of the series was unexpected but welcome, and he has become one of the most beloved characters from the show. I was unprepared by how hard his death hit me, but it occurs to me that it is a tribute to both the character and his portrayal by actor Stephen Walters that he was afforded such a hero’s end. **END BNB**

Later that night, the men get drunk by the fire, celebrating the victory. Jamie, Dougal, Murtagh and Claire are somber. “I expected the flavor of victory to taste sweeter,” Murtagh comments, and Jamie comments that it is bitter, no matter the outcome.

In an attempt to be positive, Jamie tells Claire that she was right about Prestonpans after all, but Claire points out that this means that she is also right about “the disaster that awaits us in Culloden.”

They are all distracted by the sight of Rupert, drunkenly singing Down Among the Dead Men with Ross, both clearly trying to dampen the memory of their fallen friends.

Ross sings the last line with enthusiastic bravado, bottle pumping the air in time while the men all cheer but Rupert’s face as he does the same is withdrawn, seemingly immune to both Jamie and Claire’s concerned faces and to the forced gaiety all around them.

We knew at the beginning of the season what loomed at its end, but it’s a hard pill to swallow that even our heroes’ victories will be fraught with loss.

In the world of Outlander, Happily Ever After is frequently a choice between the lesser of two evils. Sometimes those choices work out exceptionally well: Charles insists on an attack and wins a significant battle; Dougal decides to volunteer as a scout and gains his Prince’s praise; Kincaid settles his affairs prior to the battle and assures his family will be looked after, and Murtagh confesses his fear of insignificance and rediscovers his importance to Jamie.

Other times, these choices either cause hardship or reverse goodwill: Charles’s dream of a brotherhood between The English and the Scots finally dies before the reality of Dougal’s hatred; Dougal’s thoughtless violence loses him Charles’s regard; Fergus’s insistence on fighting leads to the trauma of his first kill, and Angus rushes to save his best friend, inadvertently causing his own death.

Each choice brings with it the possibility of failure, of an outcome totally outside the individual’s control. It is dizzying to realize how quickly and tragically fortunes can be made and lost, how words tossed out without thought can come back to haunt us.

How we never know how to be, or what to say until after the moment for being or speaking has passed. That is the dual nature of decision-making. One moment can make all the difference, or none at all.

Even when our choices take us places we did not foresee, we can still learn. There can be a unity in the face of loss, and the dawning of humility in our missteps. We make these choices with what we know at the time, and while we cannot always count on positive outcomes, we can count on our choices speaking for us to the people who care for us and to whom our legacy matters. Sometimes all we gain from an error is a greater understanding of what we wish to represent to those we leave behind, long after our time for choice has passed.

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