Home Relationship What Does “I Need Space” Mean from a Woman? The Answers May Surprise You


by Joan Newsome

I need space. It’s a killer phrase that most people in a relationship never want to hear, but it is used as a reason to spend some time apart more than you know. If your woman has recently recited this phrase to you, don’t panic. It may not mean what you think it means, but you still have to know what to do next if she does say this to you.

So, just what does “I need space” mean to a woman? Ironically, it can mean several different things, but you can easily gain more control over the situation than you think if you follow a few simple tips and suggestions.


When a woman tells you that she needs some space, it could mean several things. Your first thought that she is unhappy with the direction the relationship is going may be right on target, but you may also be off entirely.

Unlike men, women don’t always say what they mean, which means you are left with the task of trying to decipher her actions. This isn’t always easy, but if she does tell you that she needs some space, here are a few reasons why she might be doing this:

1. Something in the Relationship Isn’t Changing

If your woman has asked you to help out with chores more often or stop flirting with her friends so much, her telling you that she needs space might just be a way of saying that you haven’t done what she’s asked you to do. This can be frustrating for her, and she may just need time to think about what she’s going to do next.

The good news is, it still leaves you with time to change your behaviors so that the relationship grows and thrives in the end.

2. She’s Tired of Seeing You All the Time

If you are even remotely clingy, your woman may just need some time to devote to herself without having to see your face every time she does something. You may have irritated her with something you did or she could be simply stressed out over something and being around you all the time is making things more stressful for her.

In any case, she may just need a few days to devote to herself and work things out before coming back to you.

3. She Simply Needs Time to Be Alone

If a woman is super stressed or overwhelmed by her life, she may literally just need some time “away from it all” so that she can rest both her body and her mind. She needs to be refreshed so that she can feel more in control again, but the good news is that this doesn’t necessarily mean she is considering breaking up with you.

She just basically needs some rest and relaxation time, and usually, this doesn’t take very long for her to feel much better about everything.

4. She Feels Unable to Do the Things She Loves

Sometimes a woman just misses some of the things she used to do before you came into her life, such as hang out with her girlfriends and go dancing at the club. This means you just need to give her some time to go back to doing those things because she misses the life she led before you became a part of it.

Does this mean that you’re too controlling or that she has no intention of coming back to you? Not necessarily, but you need to be prepared for that possibility anyway.

5. She Really Is Considering Breaking up with You

Saying “I need some space” doesn’t always mean the relationship will soon be ending, but sometimes it does. If your woman tells you she needs space, you always have to be prepared for the possibility of the separation being permanent. This sounds harsh, but it’s better to realize that this is a possible outcome than to consider it temporary and be shocked and dismayed when she never calls you again.

Sometimes, “I need space” is just another way of telling you that the relationship has run its course.

What Can You Do When a Woman Tells You She Needs Space?

If a woman tells you she needs space, don’t panic. Just stay calm and start by asking her to further explain her decision. Tell her she needs to clarify what she just told you and tell you exactly why she has come to this decision. She may or may not be forthcoming with her answer, but that alone may give you the information you’re looking for to proceed to the next step.

In the meantime, here are some things you can do while she is avoiding you for a while, and they can help you more than you know.

1. Obey Her Wishes

When a woman tells you she needs space, that is exactly what you should do. It means not calling her, texting her, or sending her any emails. If she decides to contact you, you can respond, but never be the one who initiates the contact. If she truly does need some space to rethink the relationship, you’ll be doing yourself no favors by ignoring her wishes and contacting her anyway.

2. Evaluate the Entire Relationship

While your girlfriend is spending time away from you, it is the perfect time to evaluate the relationship from top to bottom to determine what, if anything, went wrong.

Sometimes, you can clearly see something in the relationship that may have caused her to come to this decision, and it can help you know what to do to improve things between you if and when she comes back.

In fact, it can give you a whole new perspective on the relationship and help you smooth things out with her in the end.

3. Spend Time with the Guys

If you’ve been missing your nights out with the guys, now is the perfect time to go back to doing that. It will help clear your head and allow you to concentrate on something else for a change, and it’s a lot of fun to boot. It doesn’t have to be just your friends, either.

If you haven’t been visiting with your family enough lately, this time apart can provide the time for you to do just that so that you can catch up with everything that’s been going on in the lives of the people you care about.

4. Make Sure You Set Boundaries

Before your girlfriend walks out of your life for the space she thinks she needs, you may want to ask her what is and isn’t going to be appropriate during the hiatus. This is especially important if you share children or you have mutual commitments where you can’t exactly avoid each other 100% of the time.

If she wants her space, let her know that is exactly what she’s going to get, which means she cannot change her mind in the middle of it all and come back to you just for a day or two and then leave again.

5. Don’t Consider it an “Anything Goes” Time

Spending time apart for a while isn’t like a hall pass. You can’t just go out there and do everything you want. While your woman is enjoying her space, you shouldn’t hook up with old girlfriends or go around acting like you’re completely single, because you really aren’t.

Remember, you should always assume that this split is going to be temporary and act accordingly. If you do something inappropriate and you end up getting back together later on, you’ll have a whole new set of problems to deal with.

6. Concentrate on Yourself for a Change

When you’re in a temporary break-up (if that’s what you choose to call it), it’s a great time to concentrate on yourself for a change. Do some of the things you haven’t been able to do in a while, hang out in your PJs all weekend, or explore new hobbies you’ve always wanted to try out.

It’s easy to think of some things you’d love to do but haven’t been able to do because you’ve been too busy concentrating on your relationship.


Just what does “I need space” mean to a woman? It could mean a lot of things, and asking your girlfriend to give you a reason for this decision is not an unreasonable request. Regardless of her answer, you can move on from there and concentrate on yourself for a bit, which you certainly deserve. You can also explore the relationship and make sure you didn’t miss any signs or clues that this was coming.

Although women are sometimes difficult to figure out, the “I need space” scenario doesn’t always end badly. You can make the most of your time apart by concentrating on your friends, your family, and your hobbies.

If you do end up getting back together, this temporary hiatus can enrich your relationship and make it much more fulfilling from then on, allowing both of you to grow and thrive once you’re back together.

Also Read