Same Sex Marriage

The only thing I hate about Same Sex Marriage is the term. It sounds suspiciously akin to Lesbian Bed Death (ugh). I imagine it referring to a union where both partners got tired of sexually experimenting and have now fallen into the rut of Same Sex. Not no sex, just tirelessly, relentlessly, unceasingly boring routine sex.

Blerg, that would suck ass. Thank god there are Pro Dom/mes in the world.

On a side note, you would be surprised how many female sex workers will take on female clients.

Back to Same Sex Marriage. I used to not care, seriously, I was all who the fuck cares if I can get married, but probably a lot of that was due to some cynicism about romance and the fact that there are nuns more sexually active than me. Anyway, then I started thinking about it. I have always had kind of a soft spot for marriage. I know some people really hate the idea of marriage because “it’s all about ownership!”

I know. *smile* Why do you think I get off on it?

I’m not much for the idea of standing in front of a bunch of people who are just waiting for the free sandwiches and necking with a girl in front of my mum and grandma. Mostly I hate the idea because I have terrible stage fright and I’m scared I’ll embarrass myself by fainting, farting, having a seizure, peeing my pants, getting tremors, bleh bleh bleh. Also I don’t like the idea of spending so much money on one day.

I have a better idea for my wedding. I want to get married at a courthouse, have diamond rings, and then go to Paris for two weeks. I mean, my god, I feel embarrassed even having to go on stage to accept an award. Or being paranoid there will be hecklers.

I’ve been keen on the diamond ring idea for a while though. I’m even considering buying myself a diamond ring just because. I also want a cashmere sweater. I’m one of those people with pricey desires, and at this point in life no one can make me feel guilty about it anymore. I’ve even developed a fetish for femmes in full length fur coats.

My mom doesn’t understand this desire for diamonds. My friend Naufus also wants cashmere and diamonds, we think it’s something about being Emily Carr alumni.

I had a dream I was getting married and when they asked if anyone had a reason I shouldn’t get married my mum yelled out “She’s only doing it for the ring!”

The real reason I’m into Queer marriage though is that it affords our relationships legal rights which straight people (even in common law marriages) take for granted. It means my partner would have a legally recognized position in my life. For example, if I was in a hospital again and unable to give consent to a procedure, my partner could decide, like if someone needed to pull the plug but my mom insisted they keep my mushy liquidy brain alive, then I would have someone to bat for me. Or if I was in the psych ward and they wanted to do ECT just because they got tired of trying out pharms, then I’d have someone who would say fuck off with your electricity, I’m the only one she lets electrocute her.

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