October 9 – So Afraid

The thing a wicked man fears shall come upon him, but the desire of the [uncompromisingly] righteous shall be granted.  Proverbs 10:24 AMP

Have you ever hid in the closet? I have.  Growing up, there were nights when my mother had to “pull a double.”  She would call my sister and I and tell us she was going to work through the night and be home in the early morning, before we left for school.  Our community was pretty close-knit, and everyone knew Mom was a hardworking nurse raising two growing kids.  I was eight or nine years old at the time, and I tried to be tough and not cry about it.  But as the night wore on, if there was any noise coming from outside, wind, sirens, dogs barking, I bolted to the closet.  However, when the morning light shone in, and mom was safely home, boy, was I brave! There wasn’t a trace of the trepidation that sent me cowering to the closet the night before.

Fear is a funny sort of emotion.  When the pressure is on, it hides.  But when the sun is shining, it reeks of pride.  That’s when I hear the loud and proud and the rich and famous boasting about rights, and my heart aches.  I don’t see the agenda they so adamantly promote.  I see a scared little “Lorenzo” shaking in the wee hours of the night, hoping and praying everything will somehow be alright.

Oh, I am not any man’s judge. There’s nothing to judge, love covers the most fearful of us all.  But my prayer today, in light of our Proverb, is one of clarity.  Fear has a way of distorting the truth.  When I heard the wind when I was “alone,” I heard something totally different than when my mom was home.  As a matter of fact, the only time I remember hearing the windows rattle was in Mom’s absence.  To me, that’s the best description of wickedness . . . the truth twisted or distorted by fear.  And I cannot count the times when in a state of fear, that which I feared had a life-long effect on me.  But righteousness, on the other hand, requires no explanation.   When mom was constantly present, I slept well.  If I did wake up, it was rare, because things were “right.”

Right now, the earth is full of a bunch of us kids who have spent way too much time being afraid in the closet. We desperately need to know God is home and everything is going to be alright.  Because as long as fear reigns in our hearts, sweet rest is only a fantasy.