Nuclear warfare

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Nations capable of nuclear warfare[edit]

We don't know which countries are capable of nuclear warfare, but here's what we think:

Only China. They have a shit-load of nukes. The Americans have none, despite possessing cold fusion power plants. A little strange, but with Aurora bombers and Particle Uplink Cannons, who needs a pussy baby nuke, anyway? Similarly, the GLA have no nuclear capabilities, except in that mission where they have to steal those awesome nuclear bomb trucks. Those are so ridiculously good. If you could build them, well, I'd use nothing else. I'd probably lose, as a single bomb truck would be Aurora bombed, causing everything to blow up.

Hmm? Oh, yeah, USA and GLA can get nukes by capturing Chinese technology, but that is obvious. n00b.


There are also reports that a man known only as 'Kane' possesses nuclear capabilities. Brotherhood. Peace. Unity.

Nonetheless, the USA, GLA, China, Russia, Pakistan, Derkaderkastan, and India all claim to have nukes, and Belarus and Ukraine (and Borat) say they destroyed theirs but some detractors say they're just using the weapons as dildos. Nutty Korea says it has some, but this is widely rumored to be a coverup for Kim Jong-Il's farting habit. And, of course, Iran says it's working on it. Israel is being pretty coy. Some people say she has the bombs, others say she doesn't, and some others say she's just being shy and is trying to flirt with all the other countries in her class. Some daredevils say she's a trap, but who gives a shit?

Which is why we're settling on China as being the only nuclear power. It's less confusing that way.

And now pakistan

How to start a nuclear war[edit]

It's Simple. Kidnap a group of retired USA military agents family's.Hold them for ransom if they do not obey your orders. Sneak into Russia over the Mongolian border. ( This is the hard part)Attack two of their basses simultaneously why yall shout " Victory for America!!!" 85% chance of causing a Nuclear war.

How to stop a nuclear war[edit]

According to a documentary I once saw, teaching a computer to play tic-tac-toe will successfully avert nuclear war at the last second. Phew. Talk about dramatic.

How to win a nuclear war[edit]

According to a documentary I once saw, the only winning move is not to play. Go figure. To me, that doesn't seem like a win. More like a draw, until your opponent surrenders, collapses, loses control of Eastern Europe and reverts to a dodgy democracy. But that only happened once.





How to survive a nuclear war[edit]



