Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Thoughts on Yoga

Be the Change Yoga & Wellness in downtown San Jose

(3 minutes before yoga class)

I can't believe this #%&@! 

Of all of the things they could have discontinued they have to pick the one part that'll mess everything up! Another whole day is going to be wasted chasing down a replacement!
Okay, I'm here. breathe in. 
Did I meet her the last class? 
If so I can't remember her name.
I'll just smile and say hello. 
Okay I got the mat. 
Who is she?
She's kinda cute but did she have to put her mat in my usual spot by the wall?
I like that wall.
Okay. There's another wall. I'll use that one. 
I'll put my mat down here.
(Slides mat)
Is it far enough from the wall so I don't hit it when I put my arms out to a T but close enough for me to grab it if I lose my balance in the tree pose? 
(Sits down)
The instructor just shut the door. Okay. ready to start. 
"We'll begin in a seated position."
Way ahead of you.
"Close your eyes."
(Eyes close)
Can't believe the damn thing has been discontinued and I gotta do the round peg square hole thing again. 
Breathe in. 
Why that part?! When did building a bike turn into a Jimmy Kimmel prank?! 
Breathe out. 

(15 minutes into yoga class)

"Go to downward dog."

Okay here we go.
I need to make a list of T-shirts that won't collapse into my face when I'm in this position. 
My Cranksgiving San Jose shirt is good. 
I'll wear that next time.
Left wrist is bothering me again. 
Well that passed.
I can't see anything.
Wait. those are the instructor's feet.
She's adjusting my position.
Don't knock me over.
Don't knock me over.
Whew. Okay. 
At least that wasn't a deep adjustment.
Maybe I'm getting better at this. 

(30 minutes into yoga class)

"Make a shelf for your knees."
The weird headstandy thing.
"Bring your feet off the floor."
I can do this. 
What would Yoda do?
Concentrate. Feel the force. 
Pretend Yoda is standing on your feet and you're levitating R2-D2.
My feet are off the floor!
It's working!
Thinking of Yoda. 
Be the force.
Oh shoot - now I'm thinking of Seagulls! (Stop it Now)
Crap. This is no time to chuckle.
I'm losing my balance! I'm going to fall forward!
Feet back on the ground.
That would have been embarassing. 
Try it again anyway. 
Feet off the ground. 
Still unstable.
Yoda would shake his head with disapproval. 
Never mind.
"Go to your plank pose. Top of your push up."
Damn left wrist. 

(Last 3 minutes of yoga class)

We're laying down already?

Okay. I might fall asleep.
One of these days I am going to fall asleep in this class
Either that or I gotta use a less comfortable mat. 
"Give yourself a big hug."
You heard her. 
Do it.
"Come up to seated. Bring your hands to heart center."
I can do that. No problem.

"We'll seal the class with one 'Om.'"
Sounds good. 
Deep breath.
"The light in me bows to the light in you. Namaste."
Thank you.
(getting up)
That was really only an hour?

(30 minutes after leaving yoga class)

Okay. Where was I? 

Oh, right. the part that was discontinued. 
I think I can use this to replace it.
That'll work.
Why didn't I think of that before?


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