Mav (chrismaverick) wrote,

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1KWFFH: on the right to engage in extracurricular sporting activity.

In the last couple of days, the local news has had stories on it about how the Woodland Hill School board has been voting to remove its no-cut policy from high school sports. I found this kind of amusing at first, and then kind of annoying and then kind of interesting, and as is my custom when something gets a bug up my ass for no particular reason, it eventually inspired me to write 1000 words of free flowing hostility:

So far, The news has presented the removal of the no-cut policy as some highly controversial issue. Well excuse me for a moment while I wonder about the validity of this. How is it a controversial issue? How in the bloody blue hell is this even fucking news? People are supposed to get cut from sports. That’s the best part.

Ok, so as I understand it, there are certain individuals who feel that the no-cut rule is a good thing. It means that every kid gets an opportunity to play any sport that they want. Its “fair” or something. Well, this may be stupidest idea I have ever heard in my life. Since when are high school sports supposed to be about being fair? Hell, since when is high school supposed to be about being fair. High School is about preparing for life, and you know what? Life is not fucking fair. The way life works, is that the people who are best at something are the people who are chosen to do a certain job. For some reason, people out there seem to have taken the stance that just because something is fun, everyone should have a chance to do it, no matter what their level of skill. WHAT THE FUCK?!?! I think brain surgery is fun, it’s a crime that no one lets me practice it on them.

We live in a society, where we for some reason like to believe that mental pursuits are simply more important than physical ones. We like to believe that if you’re smart that’s somehow more important than if you are strong. We like to believe that being a nice person is somehow more important than being good looking. Well, I’m sorry but that’s just bullshit. Just like some people are smarter than other people and will receive certain advantages in certain aspects of life because of it, some people are stronger or faster or prettier or whatever and they should be able to receive advantages too. The scrawny uncoordinated kid with 20/80 vision and the bad knee just doesn’t get to play varsity football. Sorry, kid, thems the breaks and that’s just the way it is. So stick your nose back in a book, Poindexter.

Seriously though, lets look at the issues one by one. First the obvious one: Sports are by definition, games of skill. If you remove the skill requirement then what the fucking point? In order for the game to be interesting, all of the participants need to be on reasonably similar skill levels. In High School sports we accomplish this by having Varsity, Junior Varsity and Freshman teams. Yes, some students might not even be good enough for the lowest level team. Well, tough shit. Sometimes you just fall through the cracks. Honestly, does anyone really want to watch the bottom of the athletic barrel try to scrape by on the same field of play with the physically gifted. I sure as hell don’t.

Ok, next issue. Did any of these nimrods stop to think for a moment that sports like say football, hockey, basketball and whatever are fucking dangerous? People get hurt. People who aren’t physically prepared for the beatings of those sports are going to get hurt even worse. I don’t care how much he may want it, a sixteen year old who weighs in at less 120 fucking pounds soaking wet with bricks in pockets is going to get broken in half the first time he takes a hit in the bread basket by an outside linebacker who clocks in at 250 plus. The kid is going to get fucking killed out there.

Finally, it’s about teaching a lesson. The way the world works, there are disappointments. We don’t always get to do what we want to just because we want it. You want to be a football star? Fine then put in the work and become a good football player. Go to the gym, work out, eat right, work your ass off, and maybe you’ll get the shot. Maybe not. That’s the way life works. By just giving a free pass to someone who wants it, you are belittling the accomplishments of the people who work their ass off for it. (Or the people who are naturally gifted). It’s no more fair or right to let someone who isn’t physically adept onto the team just because he wants it than it would be to allow a student flunking remedial science into Chemistry II just because they think “mixing shit together is wicked cool.” What about other entertainment pursuits? Should someone without acting talent be able to demand a part in the school play? Are the tone death owed a part in the school choir or glee club? Give me a break.

Why is it that we treat mental development as so much more important than physical development? Is it harder? No, not necessarily. Is it more fulfilling? Not always. Is it more important? Rarely. We like to tell children that its what’s on the inside that matters and not what’s on the outside, but is that really true? Of course not. The total package matters. Both what’s inside and out. Physical strength may not be a substitute for intelligence, but it doesn’t work the other way either. Some people have one or the other. Some people have both. And yeah, I hate to admit it, but some people have neither. That’s just how it works. Thems the breaks. Is what it is. But games of skills are intended to utilize just that. SKILLS! And if we remove that element of skill what do we have left? We have a bunch of clumsy assholes running around on a field kicking a ball for no readily apparent reason whatsoever, likely running into each other and destroying whatever brain they had left. Hey, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad anyway.

Of course, I’m smart, strong, fast and pretty… so really, what the fuck do I care?

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