Being a foster parent is the most difficult job you'll ever love.

That's one message among many that Joyce Nelson, a Reidsville foster mom for about a decade, shared during our phone conversation earlier this week.

"There's a value to being a foster parent that goes way beyond anything that you can get with money,'' said Nelson.

I wanted to talk to Nelson because we hear so much about the dire need for foster homes in our area, especially foster homes that can accept sibling groups or children with special needs. Nelson and her husband Robert accept both.

I asked Nelson about the negatives and positives of being a foster parent. How difficult is it? Is there support available? Can you really make a difference?

After our talk, the conclusion was clear. Yes, being a foster parent can be hard, especially saying goodbye to a child who has become a part of your family, but there's nothing better than having a positive impact on a hurting child's life.

Nelson and her family live on about 10 acres. They upsized to a five-bedroom in order to take in foster sibling groups. Nelson estimates she's had about 50 foster children over the years.

That's in addition to her three biological sons, ages 32, 14 and 12, and her job running the food pantry at her church, First United Pentecostal Church in Glennville.

Filling a need

The Nelsons didn't start off as a therapeutic foster home, but evolved from being a traditional one after seeing the need for foster homes that accept children with speech delays, ADHD, autism, health problems and other special needs.

Enter Georgia MENTOR, an agency that partners with the Department of Family and Children Services to place foster children with emotional, behavioral or medical challenges in care. When Nelson has a fostering question or problem, she calls Georgia MENTOR and gets a quick response.

Georgia MENTOR also provides training and support to foster parents to care for children who have been through many difficult challenges. That's in addition to what foster parents receive from DFACS.

The Georgia MENTOR program in Savannah, which serves several counties in the surrounding area, has a huge need for therapeutic foster homes, said Mary Jo Horton, director of the local program.

"Many children who have faced trauma and who are in foster care are in need of families who can help them succeed while their parents work on being ready to be their primary caregiver again," she said. "The Georgia MENTOR program in Savannah receives more than 20 referrals a month, but are able to only place one or two children each month.

"The result of not being able to place those children is that they are then placed in counties far from their families or with families who are not equipped to properly work with their needs,'' Horton said. "We need families in this area to ensure that the children of this area are properly served close to home."

Having to say goodbye to children who have lived in her home sometimes for years is the hardest part for Nelson. The longest a sibling group stayed was 2 ½ years

There's a real mourning period after foster kids leave.

Her family takes a break between foster placements to adjust to that loss.

Georgia MENTOR isn't the only support the Nelsons receive. Help also comes from: members of their church, including a man who always plants an extra two rows of sweet corn for the Nelson foster kids; members of other churches, such as a man at Reidsville Baptist Church who gave them free book bags; and the Reidsville recreation department staff, who schedule the kids' practices on the same night or find extra gear for the kids to use.

"Foster parents find out quickly that people in your community are going to help you," Nelson said.

Kids pay the price

As the Nelsons see it, parents make the mistakes and children pay the price.

Parents are neglectful or abusive, then children pay the penalty by being sent away into foster care and being torn from their siblings, their friends, cousins, schools.

All too often, foster care punishes the children, not the parents, Nelson says.

"It is a tremendous impact on kids to come into foster care,'' Nelson said.

She tries to make it as positive as possible.

That includes getting her foster kids involved in camps and after-school activities. Or giving their foster children something they never had, such as a birthday party or even a birthday present.

The family's weekends are packed with festivals and getaways. When we chatted, they had just returned from a weekend in Chattanooga at the Tennessee Aquarium. Nelson wants to give the foster children who come to her home a well-rounded life and teach them to do things.

After all, Nelson knows some kids who come to live at her home, however temporarily, all too often have experienced the worst of humanity.

"It takes a lot of good memories to block out one bad memory,'' Nelson said.

She expects she'll be a foster parent "until Jesus comes for her."

How fortunate we are to have foster parents like Nelson in our community.

Now if we can only get more.

Contact Anne Hart at anne@southernmamas.com. Follow her on Instagram @southernmamas.