There are only 4 houses in our little alcove of country living. Four families separated by a common driveway and an acre or two. Why is there always one neighbor in the bunch (no matter how big or small the community) that just HAS to be a complete azz.

Three of the four families get along beautifully. We are friendly with each other, help each other in times of natural disasters (flooding, blizzard, trees down etc), share glasses of wine together and more. Nice little community. We have one neighbor who we will call...JerkyBoy.

Nothing remotely friendly about him. When Ron negotiated with a landscaping company to mow all of our lawns for a reasonable price, what did he say - Hell No. I'll get my own person. When Ron arranged with a company to plow our long azz driveway every time we had a snow storm, what do JerkyBoy say...I get it done myself (FINE - you stoopit azz - he ends up getting plowed in EVERY time - Idjit). He has a huge party complete with illegal fireworks - doesn't invite not one of us - not even as a courtesy. He has moved the mail boxes to a place where it blocks the everyones ability to safely see the oncoming cars as we pull out of the driveway cause he didn't like it further in the driveway (safe for us AND the mailman) cause he thought it unsightly. JerkyBoy.

One of my other neighbors (the house closest to ours) just put their house on the market. They are moving out of the country for the husbands job and will get an incentive from his company if they sell it themselves instead of having the company buy it. Thus, it is priced well below appraised value and is, in my humble real estate opinion, being sold for a STEAL. 4.4 Acres, 5500+ totally finished sq ft. of beautiful property. You can't find land like this anywhere in Howard County for the asking price. If your in the market, email me and I'll send you the listing. We are setting up interviews of our future neighbors. You think I'm joking. Humph.

N E Way. The sign company comes and puts a For Sale Sign up next to the mailboxes. FINE. Not so much to JerkyBoy. he calls the realtor and says that the sign is on his property and he wants it removed immediately. Uh, Idjit, the sign AND the freakin mailboxes are on the easement. Do you want us to all move the mailboxes too? No. Just the sign. He says he's a lawyer (he is) and he knows the law (I would hope so) and if my neighbor didn't take it down he was gonna call the county and take action.

Now, if it had been me..."Call Em, you little shyt. when THEY call me & tell me that the easement is private property, that's when it will move. Till then, do what you do." It wasn't me who did the talking. My neighbor is a lot nicer than me. She tried to negotiate, told him she thought he practiced law selectively, when it suited him and when that didn't work, called us and asked if the sign could be put on our side of the easement. WHATEVER. Makes me no never mind.

As for the JerkyBoy...No More Mrs. Nice Girl. Put your damn trash cans on your property. Keep it off mine or Imma call the county and take action. Fugg the easement.


P.S. Ron is completely crazy...
"Lisa, [JerkyBoy] makes the neighborhood complete. He's like that little old lady in the hood who didn't want nothing in her yard. If your ball went into her yard, she kept it. You don't really have a neighborhood until you have a neighbor that will steal your ball."
He is a scream.

1 comment:

  1. Gosh. I'd have fun with Jerky Boy. First I'd steal his mailbox.

    Second I'd steal his garbage can.

    When he replaced both...I'd fill the mailbox with cooked oatmeal and the garbage can with vegetable oil.

    Hey...what can I say...I'm an azz.