Computer Hacking Rules (as learned from the movies)

Source: io9

1. One of the hackers must take over every channel on TV and deliver a speech that’s like a bad ripoff of a Max Headroom routine. They should scoff at the government, and use the word “sheeple.” Either that, or the hacker should have an underground viral video show that involves crazy stunts and hip hop music.


3. Every aspect of the plot will be better if you just append the words “virtual” or “cyber” to them. There will be “virtual terrorism” and “cyber war”. References to “e-bombs” a plus. Can you use a firewall to block the virtual terror downloads? Yes!


The Eleven Elite Rules of Movies About Computer Hacking

5. Everybody will have cool underground aliases. Hey, it’s Trinity! Hi, my name is Warlock. Have you met Dark Dante? He’s been hacking the planet with Zero Cool. Somebody must be called a “digital jedi” or “computer ninja” or “cyber guru” or “code wizard.”

6. Somebody must be an anarchist who wants to shut down the system. If there is no anarchist, there must be a nihilist who delivers a speech about how humanity doesn’t deserve all its shiny toys. If there is no nihilist, there must be somebody who “won’t stop the signal” because they believe information should be free. If there is no free speech zealot, there must be a madman who has figured out how to disintegrate humans and reconstitute them as programs inside a computer. If there is no madman, there must be a really short guy with glasses or a really gothy girl with purple streaks in her hair.

The Eleven Elite Rules of Movies About Computer Hacking



The Eleven Elite Rules of Movies About Computer Hacking



The Eleven Elite Rules of Movies About Computer Hacking

11. If there is an AI or sentient robot, we should learn a valuable lesson about our humanity. Maybe we shouldn’t make war on each other. Actually, it’s love, not hate, that makes us who we are. Families are the one thing that machines don’t have. Robots will never understand. That’s why we must kill them all.

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