A cop stopped a guy for speeding.

He said, “Do you know how fast you were going?”

“I was trying to keep up with traffic,” the guy replied.

The cop said, “But there is no traffic.”

And the guy answered, “That’s how far behind I am.”


Bloodcurdling scream











The old lady replies with, “Not everyone pays…”



One day a snail got robbed by 2 turtles, once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, Snail said “I dont know it all happed to fast”!




what’s the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop.

pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly




a cop pulled me over and shouted papers. i shouted scissors and drove off.


Madison R.




The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. ‘Here it is,’ she said.





The cops are still searching for my wife’s killer. Luckily I already fled the country.







White People

Friend:How dark is your humor? Me: It gets beat by the cops on a daily basis



chuck Norris get`s pulled over by cop and the cop gets a ticket



today my idiot brother screamed"ahhhhh im dead!’ but it wasn’t really, so i d3cded to make it a reality until my sister came…

AND HELPED ME! - for once but then two minutes later my mom showed up, we k!lled him right infront of her and she screamed! "DONUTS AND PIZZA FOR YPU AND MORE IF YOU GO TO MRS ROBERTS HOUSE AND SAY HI AND BYE TO DADDY!!! and she hands us both a sharp tool and i say what about tommy!!! arn’t u MAD!!! then she replied who’s THAT??? COZ HE AINT MINE HIS NAME IS TOMMY, TOMMY ROBERTS. so then me and my sister visit mrs ROBERTS AND SHE SAID OH THIS ISN’T ANYTHING IMPORTANT GO HOME! so then my sister nd i say hi! and do a countdount aftr that my nike white jumper had turned red! IT WAS A MUCH BETTER COLOUR , MUM SEEMED TO APROVE AS WELL!😊😊😊 but then the police question us where daddy was so then mom said… oh he’s moved on! so then the police officer was like ahem ma’m where! SO THEN I BELLOWED… UP - UR -A##. And we got let off the hook, then we moved oh and we k!lled the cop 2 and oh did i meantion we HAD a maid, and a landlord and a cat but they were all 2 annoying so we got rid of them and now our new backyard is very smellyyy and i dont think there is enoff space to put muummy anymore so now i dont think sissy will fit either🧐 i will ask my neibour nessy she’ll obviously say YES or ill…

ok like for part two☺☺☺



How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

None they just arrest the lightbulb for being broke and beat the room for being black








Cops go to the hood when the shooting range is closed



All of these jokes are so dark, I’m surprised cops haven’t shot them.



A cop pulls a guy over for suspected drunk driving. The cop opens the door and the driver falls out onto the asphalt. The cop says, “Holy shit, you’re so drunk, you can’t even walk!”

The drunk says, “No shit, that’s why I took my car!”




Friend: How dark IS your humor Me: It started an orginization against cops


General Womble

There’s Two Mexicans in a car Whose driving

A Cop




So a guy is evading the draft, the cops bang on his door and he runs out the back and through and alley way onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse, she complies and the cops walk by and dont see them. The man comes back up from under the nuns blouse and says”Hey man, youve got a pair of balls!” The nun says, “I didnt wanna be drafted either…”