Did you know you can discharge all four states of matter out of your ass?

Just eat Taco Bell to discharge plasma.

I've been reading a lot about the covid vaccine vs convalescent plasma. I'm 100% convinced

that the covid vaccine is easier to spell.

I’m trying to get my mom to understand my interest in plasma

But she keeps telling me that it’s just a phase

Now they're saying that if you survived COVID the government wants your plasma.

No sir, they ain't taking my TV.

Married life!


Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, b...

the government is saying if you survived covid-19 they want your plasma

aint nobody finna take my TV

There are 5 states of matter

Liquid, Solid, Gas, Plasma and Black Lives

Three vampires walk into a bar...

Three vampires walk into a bar.

Bartender: what'll you have?

Vampire 1: I'll have an A positive

Vampire 2: I'll have an O negative

Vampire 3: just a plasma for me

Bartender: Ok, let me make sure: that's two bloods and blood light?

Halloween fun!

Three vampires went into a bar and sat down. The bartender came over to take their orders. "And what would you, eh, gentlemen like tonight?"

The first vampire said, "I'll have a mug of blood." The second vampire said, "I'll have a mug of blood." The third vampire shook his head at his compani...

A woman donates her plasma for some extra cash.

There is a man in front of her in the line for the cashier. She notices that his check is for $200 as he leaves. She excitedly gets to the cashier. To her surprise, the cashier hands her a check for $50. "Wait a second," asks the woman, "how come he got $200 and I only got $50?"

"Well ma'...

I noticed a nuclear fusion reactor the other day in my backyard.

While in my backyard the other day, I noticed a large gravitationally confined plasma thermo-nuclear fusion reactor. Being an engineer, I saw that it was radiating huge amounts of energy at very high velocity in the form of incredibly high frequency transversely polarized Maxwellian electromagnetic ...

My son made it through a blood transfusion, so I bought him a 50″ HDTV...

He loves his new plasma...

Three vampires walk into a bar.


The first vampire says "Blood. Give me blood."

The second vampire says "I too wish for blood!"

The third vampire says "Give me plasma."

The Bartender smiles and says "Got it. T...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Another vampire joke.

3 vampires walk into a blood bar.

The 1st vampire looks at the bartender and says "I'll have your finest cup of blood, type O negative please." The bartender happily obliges.

The 2nd vampire then places his order. "One mug of AB positive, with extra plasma please!" The bartender once a...

An artist walks into a bar and orders a beer.

"I don't like the way the art world is going. I've read that in the future many exhibitions will only feature digital images displayed on plasma screens in darkened, futuristic galleries," he complained to the bartender. "I'm going to miss the art formerly known as prints.

Three vampires enter a dim bar in Kent.

The barmaid asks "What'll you have gentlemen?"

Flashing his best spooky grin, the first vampire says "I'll have a glass of blood"  When she asks second vampire, he says,"Glass of blood please"  She looks at the third vampire and he smirks and says, "I'll take a glass of plasma"

She shr...

Another three vampires go into a bar and sit at a table.

The waitress comes over and asks what they want to drink. The first asks for a glass of O-positive. The second asks for a glass of B-negative. The third says, "I'm on a diet, so I'll just have a glass of plasma."

The waitress turns to the bartender and says, "Eddie! Two bloods and a blood...

A girl and her boyfriend go to the hospital...

The girl goes in to the hospital to donate plasma. The boyfriend goes in to donate sperm.

Once they're finished, they get back together and discuss their profits. The girl says, "I got $30 to donate some plasma." The boyfriend then says to her, "I got $125 to donate sperm." Enraged, the girl ...

3 Bats Walk Into A Bar...

One tells the bartender "I'll have a pint of blood". The next bat says "I'll have a pint of blood as well." The last bat says "I'll have a pint of plasma."

So the bartender says, "alright let me get this straight, you guys want two bloods and a blood lite?"

Horrors of poverty

I've been around, you know. I've seen some of the poorest slums where children are starving and disease is rampant. Let me tell you, you've not seen anything, *anything* like it, until you've seen it in high-definition plasma!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Here's another "dark" joke

Was walking down the street earlier when I saw a rather tall black man carrying a large flat screen plasma tv.

I thought to my self "holy fuck that looks just like mine!!"

So I ran all the way home to check.

Alas, mine was still there shining my shoes.
