MSTing "Star Trek: First Contact"

(Cronan Thompson)

[Paramount Pictures Presents]
"But I wanted a *good* movie for Christmas."

[A Rick Berman Production]
"Do you think his mother knows?"

[blurry words come into focus]
"Ah! My glasses keep shutting on and off."
"I think it's purdy."

[Droning music]
"Must resist urge to sleep..."

[Screenplay by Brannon Braga & Ronald D. Moore]
"Have you noticed they have porn star names?
"And talent."

[Picard in a Borg Chamber]
"Some people just don't fit in."

[zoom continues]
"What is this. A Windows Infomercial?

[Psychadelic run down a Borg Corridor]
"I've only seen that a few hundred times before."
"Talented directors everywhere take note: avoid this type of scene at all costs."

Picard: I am Locutus of Borg. Resistance is futile.
"Where do you want to go today?"
"Do you suppose he's plug and play?"

[Drill heads for Picard's Eye]
[Bob Vila voice]"I like to use a carbon bit when drilling into soft, spongy material"
"You're gonna put someone's eye out with that thing."

[Zoom in on Picard]

[Washes face]
"I feel so... unclean."

[Borg thing pops out of his face]
"Pop goes the weasel."

[Picard wakes up again]
"This is your brain on drugs."
"Just say no to minoxidal."

Admiral: Did I catch you at a bad time Jean Luc?
[as Picard]"No, no. I always wake up in cold sweats."
"Of course that's the way I begin emergency announcements too."

Admiral: Long range sensors have picked up..
Picard: Yes, I know [pause]
"Something bad..."

[Enterpise-E in shown in a nebula]
"Does that look like a fried egg to anyone else?"
"God spilled his ketchup, nyah."

Picard: Captain's Log 50893.5
"Yeah, well, my log is 60995.9."

Picard: We're not going
Riker: We're not going?
"Everybody sing."

Picard: In case the Romulans try to take adavnatage of the situation
Troi: Romulans?
"To expedite matters Data will be doing all the repeating from now on."

Geordi: We've been out in space for nearly a year now
"Without oxygen too."

Geordi: The Enterprise-E is the most advanced ship in the fleet.
"Of course he didn't know that.. he's just the captain and all."

Picard: I have been over all of this with Starfleet command
[reaction shots of everyone]
"Boy is it ever a good thing they chose right then to stop asking questions might have happened."

[Earshattering Music]
Riker: Murlee`
Picard; Bujouse

Picard: Let's just say that starfleet has every confidence in the Enterprise and her crew just
not her captain.
"But of course!"
"I always give people I distrust weapons of mass destruction."

Picard: To do so would introduce an unstable element into a critical situation
"As opposed to those models of stability, starfleet admirals."

Riker: That's ridiculous.
"Cool foreshadowing."
"Ding, Ding."

Riker: You're the perfect man to lead this fight.
"And I'm not kissing butt or nothing neither."
"Having barely escaped certain death at the hands of inferior foes lotsa times why wouldn't they choose him?"

[Riker whips his head around for a dramatic stair]
"Stop pointing that thing at me unless you're gonna use it."

Picard: Mr. Data, put Starfleet frequency 14186 on audio
"Because video would cost too much."

Borg Voice: We will add you biological and technological distinctivness to our own. You will adapt to serve as us
"Talk about kinky sex."
"Those damn democrats."

Picard: I am about to commit a direct violation of orders.
"Because I'm smart and they're dumb."
"What was it they were saying about him being unstable?"

Data: I believe I speak for everyone here [looks about for support]
"You have a slight odor about you, sir."

[Everyone smiles]
"Nothing like disobeying orders to give you that warm glow."

[First Shot of Borg Cube]
"I told you no good would come of the Rubix cube."
"Microsoft Buys Rubix in Hostile Takeover, film at 11."

[Defiant appears]
"Bob and weave. Duck the jab. Remember Mickey loves ya."

Worf: Report
"We're fucked, sir."

[Worf hits panel]
"This worked just a second ago. Hmmm. I wonder what happened."

Worf: Perhaps today is a good day to day
"It's that type of thinking that got your ship toe' up from the floo' up."

Riker: Defiant's losing life support
[whine]"But it's a good day to die."

Picard: Onscreen
"Must have been fun starring at that blank wall for the whole trip."

Picard: I'm taking command of the fleet.
"Oh lead us master."
"Why are they listening to him?"

Data: The coordinates you have indicated do not appear to be a vital system.
Picard: Trust me, Data.
"It's not like he disobeys orders.
"Or used to be one of them."
"The little voice in his head never lies."

[Sphere comes out of the cube]
"Constipation: the number one killer of cubes everywhere.

[voices in Picard's head]
"Unstable? Is it unstable to hear voices?"
"They say Patton was a little bit crazy too."

Crusher: I have patient here who insists on coming to the bridge.
"He's clearly delirious and I thought it'd be a hoot."

[Picard, Riker and Troi turnaround and look at Worf]
"A Kodak moment."

Riker: Tough little ship
Worf: Little?
"Deanna said you're not packing much yourself."

Picard: Mr. Worf, we could use some help at tactical.
"The guy at tactical now just ain't that good. He only creamed a Borg ship."
"Help what? Miss?
"Shouldn't there be computers doing that stuff?"

"Why is Doctor Crusher still hanging about on the bridge?"
"She's resting up to treat all those dying crewmen from the Defiant."

Picard: They're creating a temporal vortex
Riker: Time Travel
"Captain Obvious."

Data: The atmosphere contain high concentrations of methane, carbon monixide and flourine.
"Ahhhhh! Nothing like New York in the morning."
"He's just scanned the tailpiple of a '57 Studebaker."

Data: Population 9 billion, all Borg.
"The Borg drive Studebakers?"

Troi: How?
"Time travel. History changes. You puzzle it out."

Crusher: But if they changed history why are we still here?
"You're not. It's a complex hallucination brought on by massvie stupidity."

[Data swings around]
"Ummmmmm, isn't he flying the ship?"

Picard: I must follow them back, undo whatever changes they have caused.
"Isn't sanity just a one trick pony..."
"Jean Luc of Nazereth...."

[Enterprise enters hole in space]
"That's not suggestive at all."

[Camp viewed from above]
"Ruby Ridge?"
"Branch Davidians?"

Zefram: I don't have regrets
"Take what happened after I got Babe home that night.."

Lili: I'm not going up in that thing with a drunk pilot
Zefram: And I'm not going up sobber.
"TWA, such a wonderful way to fly."

Dying person: ARGGGGGGGGGG
[jumps off the roof of an undamaged building head first]
"I can't take it anymore."
"He jumped to his death to avoid being in the rest of the movie. Now that's courage whose like
shall not be seen again."

Riker: Most major cities destroyed, very few goverments, 600 million dead.
"The amzing power to provide exposition."

[Borg sphere explodes]
"It was a Borg Turd! Damn you."

Picard: Data, I need to know the exact date.
"Well yesterday was Monday and tommorrow is Wednesday so I'm gonna guess Friday..."

Data: April 4th, 2063
Riker: April 4th
"I thought we agreed Data would do that?"

Crusher: Then the missle complex must be where Zefram Cochrane is building his warpship
"It's the exposition, what's that say? It's the exposition and it's going my way."[to the tune of
the inquisition in "The History of the World part 1"]
"Shouldn't she be treating the sick and dying or something?"

Hawk: Long range sensors are still offline
[church lady]"How convEEEEEEEEEEnient."
"He was such a good character until he spoke up."

[Picard and Company beam in]
"No one's gonna notice THAT."
"Especially since those little blinking objects look so normal."

[Picard looks about at random]
Picard: Over here
"He must be one of Dionne's friends."

Crusher: They're all dead
"What would we do without her expertise."

Lili: Bullshit!
"More foreshadowing. Is this that B5 movie?"

Data: I believe I can handle this
"I hear fecaphilia is curable these days."

[Data Jumps]
"He can fly, He can fly!"
"Wendy? Tootles?"

[Lili faints]
Data: This woman requires medical attention
"I wonder if his first clue was the profuse sweating."

[Crusher scans Lili]
Crusher: Severe theta radiation poisoning
"The blinking lights know all and see all."

Data: Radiation is coming for the damaged throttle assembly
Crusher: We're all going to have to be inoculated
"See there. Medical technology has advanced from amazing to inexplicable."
"Gotta protect against those nasty photons."

"You know what Cronan says, 'Any sufficently assinine technology is indistingushable from stupidity.'"

Crusher: Please Jean Luc no lectures about the prime directive.
"Damn straight."
"While you're at it, give the man some hair."

Picard: Tell Commander Riker to beam down with a search party
"Because calling himself would be too much trouble."

Picard[clicks communicator]: Picard to Geordi
"I guess the XO just doesn't rate a conversation."

Geordi: And Porter check out the enviromental controls while I'm gone. It's getting a little warm in here.
"You don't suppose it has anything to with that giant reactor thing, do you?"
"The warpcore bears an uncanny resemblence to a wood stove."

Picard[looking at warpship]: Isn't it amazing?
"Nah. Mine is much bigger."
"I had no idea Picard was *that* way."

Picard: It's a boyhood fantasy, Data[while touching the missle]
"That could easily be construed as sexual harrasment.

Data: Sir, does tactile contact alter your perception of the Pheonix?
"Why don't you come touch my Pheonix and tell me what you think?"
"I guess the attraction is mutual."

Troi: Would you three like to be alone?
"I don't know. What would Xena do?"

Nameless Crewwoman: What do you think?
"The script is poor, the direction is bad and the actors are... oh you mean..."

[Shadowy figure moves in the Jeffery's Tube]
"Think his name is Kenny?"

Paul: Hello?
"Because Shadowy figures appreciate niceties from their victims."

[Paul screams in anguish]
"One down 600 more to go."

Crewwoman: Paul? Are you okay in there?
"How often does he scream like that?"
"I just met my untimely death. Nothing to be overly concerned about."

[No answer]
"Blood curdling scream? Must have stubbed his toe."

[Crewwoman does the same scream.. only louder]
"She must have stubbed her toe too."

Troi: Captain, what is it?
"I just realized I'm a vastly overrated actor."

Picard: Mr Worf, is everything alright up there?
"A borg here, a blood curdling yell there."

"Where the hell is he walking to?"

Crusher: Now what?
"Bet you wish you knew Dionne."

[something hits the door]
[sing]"Keep on knocking but you can't come in."

Worf: We just lost contact with deck 16. Communications, intenral sensors, everything.
"We heard some screams and stuff but thought there was alot of toe stubbings."

Picard: They knew their ship was doomed. Our shields were down. They somehow transported over here
without being detected.
"Actually Ensign Foster detected them but he's been on strike."

Picard: Quickly.
"No, no. Relax. Take it slowly. There's no rush."

Data: I have isolated the main computer with a fractal encryption code. It is highly unlikely they will
be able to break it."
"Pretty pictures confuse me too."

Picard: The Borg won't stay on deck 16.
"16 is unlucky."

Crusher: 20 Borg are about to break through that door.
"And eat the little piggies all up."

[Handing out phasers]
"And a penis for you, and yours and one for you too."

Picard: First thing they'll do is establish a collective.
"Those commie bastards."

Worf: But the Borg are not completely organic
"I wonder what his first clue was."

Data: Excellent idea. Plasma coolant will liquifiy organic material on contact
"It's a good thing the Borg don't know that or they might not have set up camp there."

Cochrane: Who is this jerk?
"Riker, William T, President of the Hair Club for Men."

Cochrane: To the Phoenix, may she rest in peace.
"Or in peices."
"I bet Babe would cheer him up."

Deanna: Will, I think we have to tell him the truth.
"Or buy him a replacement pig."

Deanna: What was I talking about again?
"That time you wore nothing but rubber underwear for a month."
"You mean you weren't paying attention, either?

Will: You're drunk.
"The umistakable stream of urine running down her leg told him that."
"If it weren't for his ability to state the abundantly obvious I would be lost by now."

Deanna: I already told him our cover story. He didn't believe me.
"You? Not a rocket scientist? I scoff loudly."

Will: If we tell him the truth do you think he'll be able to handle it?
"He talks to pigs. He'll be fine."

[Picard and company round a corner]
"Fight the Borg and lose weight at the same time."

Data: Captain, I believe I am feeling anxiety.
"Yeah, well, thanks for sharing. Let's go kill some people now."
"I feel sort of ooey gooey."
"You don't suppose it might be the ominous music do you?"

Data: It is an intriguing sensation.
"It's the boring sensations you should worry about."

[hatch bursts open right beside Worf's securuty team]
Crusher: It's only me
"Maybe if you were nude your reception would be better."

[Borg looks at Picard]
"Can you believe what he's wearing? That is like so last year."

[Borg view]
"And you wonder why they're so pissed at everybody all the time?
"Borgvision glasses on sale for 4.95."

Picard: Lower your weapons. They'll ignore us until they consider us a threat.
"The big guns we're carrying just don't cut it."
"Starfleet officers a threat? What has he been smoking?"

[Picard and company follow the Borg]
"Just keep walking. They're more afraid of us than we are of them."

[Picard and Worf meet, exchange meaningful glances]
"So, you come here often?"

Computer: manual release is online
"Yep, free Manwell. He'll take'em."

[Picard screams like a little girl]
"We can see why they made him captain."
"That *is* a much more impressive scream."

[Nameless Crewmember is dragged off a ladder by a Borg]
"That makes so much sense."

Picard: Regroup on Deck 15
"They've a nice bar!"

Picard: Don't let them touch you
"They've got cooties."
"Tag, they're it."
"What if I like being touched?"

"I suppose Starfleet didn't teach jogging as an evasive manuever."

Data: Captain
Captain: Data
"Dialogue of this complexity is rare indeed."

[Borg Saw attachment works on tube door]
"I would use a midar saw."

[Picard walks in tube]

"Another beautiful scream."
"I want one of his albums."

[Data is spun on the table]
"I'm the Data gotta love me."

Disembodied voice: Brave Words. I've heard them before
"I read the script."

Data: I am unlike any lifeform you have encountered before.
"I have a vibrate setting."

D. V.: You are an imperfect being created by an imperfect being.
[Barabarino]"Don't say a thing about my mother. That woman was a saint."

[Drills on Data's temple]
"He's made of wood."
"I've got a headache THIS BIG..."

Riker: We've lost contact with the Enterprise. We don't know why
"Good thing too or you might have to explain the scream of agony."

Cochrane: Why tommorrow morning?
"I got a salon planned for noon."

Troi: Poverty, disease, war. They'll all be gone in the next 50 years
"The Klingons, Romulans, Dominion, Cardassians and Borg don't count."

Cochrane: Why not.
"Because you're afraid of death and Babe can't come for starters."

[Starfleet officers back away from the Borg]
"I find I can run faster facing the right way."

[Borg eye attachment is fitted]
"They should try contacts."

[A room full of Borg]
"In most militaries that would be considered a bad sign."
[monotone]"Oh no. I shall have to walk away at a slightly accelerated pace."

"I just had an epiphany, this is supposed to be an action movie."

[Borg eyelights turn on]
"So they were just standing there in the dark?"

Picard: This may be difficult for you to accept but you are not in Montana anymore
"You see these bad munchcins led by an evil witch have taken over..."

Picard: But you may want to hold your breath it is a long way down.
"I taunt you. Go away"

Picard: Picard, Jean Luc Picard. That is my name.
"Me Jean, you Tarzan."

Picard: If you had fired this you would ahve vaporized me.
"Well give it back and let her try again."

Lili: It's my first ray gun.
"Whoa, whoa! Stop getting all technical."

Lili: There's no glass
"In the late 23rd century it was discovered that there are indeed air and sound in space."

Lili: I have never seen that kind of technology
Picard: That's because it hasn't been invented yet.
"So much for the time stream."
"It's a phat ride."

Disembodied Voice: Are you ready?
"What is this? A Mariah Carrey Video?"
"No, not yet."
"Give me fifteen minutes and a head start."

Data: The Borg have a collective consciousness
"Because I say so."

[Top half of a body moves on some wires]
"Look what's left of the woman on the flying trapeze."
"Michela Jackson finally turned into a freakish white lady."
"I suppose we should be happy for him."

Borg Queen head: I am the one who is many.
"Bill Gates and Micheal Jackson's love child."

[Head is dropped onto the body]
"She must use Pamela Lee's surgeon."

Data: I am curious
"My favorite color is blue and I love long walks in the park."

Borg Queen: I bring order to chaos
"She wants to marry him."

Data: I am programmed to evolve, to better myself."
"Take the twelve inch attachment I installed just yesterday."

[Borg Queen Closeup]
"Vaseline covered and ready for action."

Borg Queen: That is because you haven't been properly stimulated yet.
"Vaseline, artificial implants and bondage... I had a dream like this once."
"Was it called Helga: The Dominatrix?"

Borg Queen: Do you know what this is Data?
"Ummm.. a bad special effect?"
[Kosh]"I have always known."

[Borg Queen blows on the skin]
"Borg haven't a assimilated anybody with breath mint technology I see."

Borg Queen: Was that good for you?
"Other than the smell, sure."

Picard: There are 24 decks.
"Plus two that we don't like to talk about."

Picard: The aquisition of wealth is no longer the driving force in our lives.
"We prefer to blow shit up."

Picard: We work to better ourselves and the rest of humanity.
"By blowing shit up."

Lili: Is there another way around?
"But then we couldn't blow shit up."

[Picard and Lili walk thourgh a hallway full of Borg]
"Someone needs to work on the Borg Threat identification system."

[Borg turns around circles]
"And you do the hokey pokey as you turn yourself about."

[Picard fires phaser and hits wall]
"Aim just ain't what it used to be."

[Borg lumber after him]
"Comeback here! You're gonna put somebody's sensor out with that thing."

Picard: Try to look like your having a good time
"Heard any good jokes lately?"

Picard: No, no, no. Look at me. Try to act naturally.
"I'll try... no guarantees though."

[Match lit on metal nose]
"Everywhere I turn it's Tracy, Tracy, TRACY!"

Picard: [scream]
"Tell us how you really feel."
"Yippee io ki aye motherfucker!"

Lili: I think you got him
"And to think they said he was unstable."

[Picard attaches memory chip to tricorder]
"Apparently plug and play finally works."
"It says ARRRG I've been shot!"

Cochrane: You learned about this in school?
"Yeah, well, it was that or Advanced Crochet"

[Closeup of Geordi's eye]
"Ok, contacts were a bad idea."

Geordi: I probably shouldn't tell you this [grinning pause]
"But I'm going to anyway."

Cochrane: I am going to take a leak.
"Like to join me?"

Picard: Reports of my assimilation have been greatly exaggerated.
"That's funny ho ho not funny ha ha."
"Bridge Banter for Beginners. Lesson one: mutilate classic quotes."

Picard[to Crusher]: I've found something you'd lost.
"I thought Wesley was gone for good."

Worf: I am a Klingon
"No. Really?"
"I would have sworn you were an evil weiner dog."
"It was the Fu Manchu Moustache that threw her."

Hawk: Interplexing?
"Racist Paramoia at it's finest."

Worf: Then we must destroy the deflector dish before they can activate the beacon.
[Applause]"Brilliant deduction. Clearly all that tactical training has finally paid off."

Picard: Mr. Worf, Do you remember your zero g combat training?
"Time for a trip down memory lane."

Worf: What are you suggesting?
"That you strip, apply a healthy helping of vaseline to your ass and see if they can grab hold."

Riker: Cochrane
"Is now the time to be getting so personal?"

Picard: Magnetize
"And if the ship was made of iron that'd be a problem."

[White suits]
"Perfect for combat in the blackness of space."

[Shot of Picard, Hawk and Worf walking across the hull]
"I think we're lost."

Borg Queen: Do you always talk this much?
"There's an interesting story behind that. It all began a long time ago in a land far away..."

Data: Have you forgotten?
"Yes, remind us."

Borg Queen: We used to be just like them. Flawed, weak, organic
"Able to jog, relatively attractive.."

Borg Queen: But we evolved to include the synthetic
"Listen lady: evolution doesn't cover a race of leather freaks."

"I laugh at your silly insults. Heehee"

Borg Queen: Small word from a small being.
"Good comeback. Now talk about his moma."

Data: I understand you have no interest in me.
"It's my body you're after."

[Borg slices Data]
"Ouchie. Can I have a band-aid?"

Borg Queen: Look at you cradling the new flesh I have given.
"Everyone says masturbation is perfectly normal until you do it in front of them."

Borg Queen: You are becoming more human all the time.
"You misunderstand. That is a wrench in my pocket."

Borg Queen: Are you familiar with physical forms of pleasure?
"I got a crack pipe in my quarters if that's what you mean."
"50 bucks, same as in town."

Data: I am fully functional
"That's what they all say jack but when it comes time to perform."

[Data and Queen kiss]
"Come on Ms. Vaseline man, play a song for me."
"Your breath is kicking like karate."
"I know it's been a whle but no one is that desperate.

[Borg installs something with a loud click]
"Ignore all that noise. It'll just destract you."

Cochrane: I don't wanna be a statue.
"My ass is way to big."
"Unless they make it out of peat moss."

Riker: We don't have time for this
"Time, get it? Funny."

[Borg pulls out long silver tube]
"Super suppositories: for those times when you just can't go."

[Borg inserts long silver tube]
"Now that's how I spell AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH."

Worf: Magnetic constrictors have been disengaged. They have adapted.
"Were it not for the completely obvious he would have almost nothing to say."

[Picard shoots at the dish causing steam to come out]
"Why is there steam on in the hull of a starship?"

Picard: Hawk

[Borg carries Hawk away]
"I know what they're going to do."

[Picard floats across the void]
"As graceful as Nancy Regan."

[Locks detach]
"It's almost interesting in a not terribly interesting way.

Worf: Assimilate this!
"No, that."
"Or the other."

Cochrane: I'm ready to make history
"Or become history."
"The first pilot to break the light barrier while under the influence."

Riker: Look at that
"The sky really is blue. I guess I owe Geordi 50 credits."

Cochrane: I've heard enough about the Great Zefram Cochrane.
"What about the pretty good one?"
"And where's my pig?"

Cochrane: I don't know who writes your histroy books or where you get your
information from.
"I was wondering that myself."

Cochrane: You people have some pretty funny ideas about me.
"Wait till they tell you the prime directive."

Riker: I don't think you were a saint but you did have a vision.
"The Pig. It's always the pig."

Cochrane: That's rhetorical nonsense
"Got it in one."

Sweaty Crewman: They're on the move again.
"Albeit very slowly."

Same Sweaty Guy: It's like we're shooting blanks.
"I have lots of experience with such things."

Picard: Fight hand to hand if you have to.
"No! Use pointed sticks."
"OR holographic machine guns."

Picard: "Not to the Borg, not while I'm in command."
"The thing is that you shouldn't be."

Worf: If you were any other man I would kill you were you stand.
"But since you are who you are I'll kill you over there and make it look like an accident."
"He's every woman. They're all in him"

Picard: Get off my bridge

Lili: Wait, this is stupid.
"She's batting a thousand so far."

Lili: You son of a bitch.
"She knows he's French."

Picard: The crew is accustomed to following my orders
"Or they would be if they were."

Lili: They're probably accustomed to your orders making sense.
"Damn. She was doing so well too."
"Guess TNG went out of syndication by 2063."

Lili: What is that supposed to mean?
"I wonder if she expects an answer."

Picard: Six years ago [pause]
"I had a lovely bunch of coconuts."

Picard: I had their cybernetic devices implanted throughout my body.
"Yes, there too."
"At first it was really neat but then I realized I don't look good in leather."

Picard: Every trace of individuality erased.
"I didn't miss it much until I had to go to the bathroom."

Picard: And I know how to fight them.
"Which is why your losing."

Lili: I am such an idiot
"Admitting you have a problem is the first step."

Picard: We have a more evolved sensibility
"We call it DEATH FROM ABOVE."

Lili: Bullshit
"Much better. Now try to 'silly bastard.'"
"Shit? Where see shit? No see shit."

Lili: You were almost enjoying.

Lili: Where was your evolved sensibility then?
"In a dark cavern between two fleshy mounds."
"Playing hide and seek."

Lili: You do have book in the 24th century.
"Yeah but don't read them."
"Book. Holodeck. You choose."

"That's an evolved primal scream."

Picard: They assimilate entire worlds and we fall back.
"When did this happen?"
"That's it. He's flipped."
"He's done a quadrupple somersault."

Picard: The line must drawn here.

Picard: And I will make them pay for what they've done.
"He's as fruity as a nutcake and twice as confused."

Lili: You broke your little ships.
"They sucked anyway."

Picard: Moby Dick
"Listen, your penis is the least of our worries right now."

[Picard summarizes the Moby Dick]
"Book report time. What have you learned this week childrens?"

[Picard walks onto the bridge]
"So when he comes out, shoot for his nads... shhhh he's coming."

Picard: Plenty of letters left in the alphabet
"I'm just guessing here. I think there might be but don't hold me too it."

Picard: In fact you're the bravest man I have ever known.
"That's what happens when you grow up around French people..."

[Picard walks slowly about the bridge]
"I know I left my keys somewhere.."

Troi: 7, 6...
"I had no idea she could count."

[Cochrane is wearing some lacy scarf around his neck]
"I think he's gay, dude."
"Wait till Nancy Hedford finds out."

Lili: You're not leaving are you?
"I still can't find my keys."

[Borg follows Picard]
"Watchout. This kind has a tendancy to turn and walk really slowly."

"It's a close encounter of the least interesting kind."

[More Borg voice sound fx]
"Jason's coming!"

Borg Queen: How could you forget me so quickly?
"Well you're not terribly attractive, for one."

Borg Queen: You still hear our song.
"I thought that was the latest Sound Garden CD."

Borg Queen: Data understands me
"And his tongue is at least 4 inches long."

Picard: I had to give myself freely to the Borg.
"And purchase regular upgrades."
"We know where she wants to go today.

Picard: You wanted a counterpart
"Boy are her standards low."

Borg Queen: You can't begin to imagine the life you denied yourself.
"It's pretty easy actually. Drone 1 move node 13 to sector 4 of subjunction Y."

Borg Queen: We will add your distinctivness to our own.
"Better use a condom. She's been adding alot of distinctivness lately."

Data: No, I do not wish to go.
"I still haven't found your keys."

[Data trys to hit some buttons]
"The key to decrypting is not to hit any keys."

Riker: Relax doctor, I'm sure they're just here to give us a send off.
"He certianly isn't XO for his brains."

Data: Resistence is futile
"Is that what it is?"
"With cool, dry wit like that he could be in pictures."

[Picard climbs up wire]
"'Cause he's the one on TV, looking all buff."

[Borg Queen screams]
"Boy, that was a good one."

[The Pheonix turns around]
"I could have travelled further on a rusted out BMX with one tire missing."

Data: Strange, Part of me is sad she is dead.
"And I wonder what part that is."
"Yes, that is very strange."

Data: 0.68 seconds
"She said that was normal for a first time."

[Picard gives Data a hand up]
"I wonder what those little blinking lights do."

[Alien ship lands]
"Anal probes all around."

Cochrane: My god. They're really from another world.
"But they look inexplicably like us..."
"Almost too CHEAP to be true."

[Mumbling in the crowd]
"He's cute." "Where's ALF?" "Did you get the cheese we sent?" "Maybe we should have taken a bath this week."

Vulcan: Live long and prosper
"Yeah, yeah. Do you have any soap?"

Riker: Riker to Enterprise. Standby to beam us up.

"We're still waiting."

"Hurry up will ya?"

Picard: I envy you.
"I 've always wanted ovaries, you see."

Picard: These first steps into a new frontier.
"Just make sure you don't walk too fast."

Picard: Make it so.

[Zefram introduces the Aliens to liquor and music]
"This is what we call a good time. It involves deafening yourself during a ritual of libation."

[credit roles]
"I think the movies over."
"Let's a wait a while. Maybe all that was just a decoy and the real thing starts soon."
"I'm leaving."
"You'd think that with this many people one of them would have realized the movie sucked and burned the negative."

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