Archives de la catégorie reflexion-reflection

Je suis amoureuse d’une Fifi Brindacier adulte plus vraie que nature. Les longs bas à rayures ont été remplacés par de hautes bottes lacées, elle a troqué son tablier pour des jupes à plis qui s’interrompent brusquement très haut sur ses cuisses et juste sous ses fesses, et les nattes rousses retroussées ont fait place à une cascade de boucles blondes et drues, mais du personnage de mon enfance il est resté cette détermination frôlant l’entêtement, cet enthousiasme devant la nouveauté et ce visage joli et lutin. Cette force, aussi, lorsqu’elle décide de se jeter sur moi pour me plaquer au sol.

J’aime lorsqu’elle grimpe sur d’autres filles comme une araignée, lorsque, après les avoir ficelées, elle les épingle à un instrument de torture pour les malmener. Je ne manque alors pas un seul de ses gestes. J’aime l’énergie qu’elle déploie pour marquer leur peau, pour les faire couiner et crier de douleur et de plaisir. Je goûte chacun des joyeux quarts d’heure qu’elle leur fait passer. J’aime les attentions qu’elle a pour elles, des attentions perverses mais toujours tendres dans leur violence apparente.

Elle se retrouve parfois sous d’autres filles, et alors je suis touchée et excitée par l’énergie désirante qu’elle leur renvoie. Elle a des moments d’abandon rares et émouvants où elle se livre toute entière à elles. Elle se laisse flageller en poussant de petits gémissements, fesser en tendant son cul blanc et désarmant, et quand elle ouvre ses cuisses pour se faire pénétrer énergiquement, mes soupirs se mêlent aux siens. Elle a des orgasmes à deux registres, tantôt ponctués de plaintes aigües, tantôt vibrant d’un son guttural et animal.

Je suis amoureuse de cette Fifi-là, et quand c’est sous l’autre femme de ma vie qu’elle se retrouve, je fonds d’attendrissement.

Ce que j’aime aussi et peut-être par-dessus tout – mais est-il possible de classer par ordre d’importance les bonheurs de la vie –, c’est me retrouver sous elle, sous son corps-araignée voué à ma soumission, ou simplement sous sa présence symbolique me plaquant au sol. J’aime savoir qu’elle me veut heureuse, et j’aime avoir l’assurance qu’elle le veut à sa manière – entière.

I realise I stopped after the 20th day of kink, so here are the remaining days.


Day 21: Favorite BDSM related book (fiction or non-fiction)

I already mentioned an image of Story of O on day 8 of this list. While it is not my favourite BDSM story, this book written by French writer Pauline Réage left on me an indelible impression. I liked the pace, and the writing. I think I like that kind of utopias, in which the characters live in a parallel world where all the fantasies go. For the same reason, I enjoyed Laura Antoniou’s Marketplace series. It is not about what people do, but about what they fancy. But I am also a practical girl, and I read my share of BDSM non-fiction and theory. As most, when I first discovered about BDSM, I ran and read all the “classics”: Screw the roses, send me the thorns, I must say, was an appealing title, and the book was a good introduction too. However, I would have trouble mentioning one that I preferred although there were lots I disliked (and will not list).



A BDSM relationship does not differ from a vanilla relationship, so what else can I say? Know yourself, learn to know about your significant other or others, be honest and forgiving, and love.


Day 23: Since you first developed an interest in kink, have your interests/perspectives changed?  How so?

I think my interest and perspectives had always been based on kink, except that I was not aware of it. So maybe “practicing” BDSM just made me more conscious of it all.



I like both dominant and easy going partners. I like them to be serious about the relationship, and yet not to take themselves and ourselves too seriously. I like fun people willing to use their brain on a daily basis. I am fortunate to have found an acceptable level of both in both my regular partners. Oh, and I like polyamourous people.


Day 25: How open are you about your kinks?

I am open with open people, and secretive with people I am not close to and who I feel would not understand. I do not mind people “knowing”, but I just won’t go and talk about it with just anybody.


Day 26: What’s your opinion on online BDSM play?

Been there, done that. To a certain extent. It is a good and risky introduction to kink. It could be a good start, and it was for me, but it is a place where you can find lots of crap.


Day 27: Do your non-kink interests ever find their way into your kinky activities? If so, how?

It is a continuum. For example, my kinky and vanilla-ish writing tend to overlap sometimes. I like strong music, not necessarily with kinky content, but one that can evoke kinky images. I like to dance on that kind of music when I go out. I love to read, but I know that I like to find something kinky in the fiction I read, even if only I can see it. Same with cinema. Etc.



I like to dress! And I like to dress in black with colourful accents. However, the way I dress depends on my mood. When I feel more like topping, I dress in what I feel is a more dominant way, also more… covering. When I am with my owner, I dress in a way I think she might like, or sometimes (but not very frequently as she says she trusts me) she gives me directions about how I should dress (colour, style). Sometimes I feel more femme, so I dress accordingly. And other days I feel  more butchy, and a kilt and a leather vest will do the trick. Most of the time, no matter my mood, I wear boots instead of shoes, and only rarely do I wear high heel shoes/boots. Heavy, black leather boots make me feel powerful, even when I am to surrender that power.



I do not have a BDSM title except for the one that my owner chooses to give me at a given moment, and it changes all the time. I like to call her by what one would call a title and what I just consider what she is to me: Maîtresse, in French, which obviously means “Mistress”.


Day 30: Whatever BDSM/kink related thing you want to write about.

Help yourself, and read the rest of my blog!


Find the complete set of questions here.

Day 20: Talk about something within kink/bdsm that you’re curious about/don’t understand.

I have tried roleplay, but I do not quite get it, or I should say, get into it. As much as I like theatre and costumes and characters and have been relatively good as an actor in the past, playing a role in a scene does not seem to do the trick for me. I know that, in the context of a scene, I mutate and become lots of different thing, including a slave, a slut and a little girl, but those are not roles but facets of me, and it is as myself that I like to… give myself. So I like to watch roleplay because it is really fun to watch, but doing it myself never worked very well. Maybe the “good” role with the “good” person is awaiting me, but I doubt it.

Find the complete set of questions here.


(Yes, I am publishing two entries on the same day, because, really, my answer to Day 18 was a bit too short!)

Ever since I have been attending kinky events, meeting kinky people, getting involved in the community, I have met the most amazing people. Being a kinky dyke in the queer kinky community helped me find my place as a dyke, which had never quite been the case in the lesbian non kinky community, for whom I sometimes felt too much (and especially, sometimes, too much of a femme although I am not femme that much).

Find the complete set of questions here.


Actually, I do not have any kinky/BDSM pet peeves worth mentioning. Call me a positive girl…

Find the complete set of questions here.


BDSM has entered popular culture, especially tv and cinema. CSI and all the other crime series all have had their BDSM episode in which someone is found dead and the police finally discover that they were involved in a BDSM scene at the moment of their death. I know that people can die during a BDSM scene, for kink, just as anything intense (extreme sports, for instance), is not risk-free. But people usually do not die doing BDSM just as most do not die skiing down a hill, and everybody has fun. Also, contrary to what is presented in those shows, most people involved in BDSM are not psycho (probably not more than the average citizen) although they might happily agree that they are perverts.

Also, I would like to clear up the fact that BDSM is violent. Yes, things happen that might look violent from the outside, but they are done from a place of love and are actually the opposite of violence. BDSM (at least the kind I like) is about caring.

Find the complete set of questions here.


At some point in my life, when my needs could not be fulfilled, I have wished to be wired differently, not to crave it so much. I would then withdraw away from sexuality as well, because being sexual would trigger the other needs, and that was painful. Now that I have fulfilling relationships including kink and D/s, I do not see it as a difficulty anymore, but as something that adds a precious dimension to my life. Of course, that makes me all the more different from the average people around me who are neither queer, nor polyamorous, nor kinky. But that also provides me with a different perspective on things. That does not make more intelligent (!), but maybe more aware of the many shades and colours of identity, gender, sexual orientation, etc.

Find the complete set of questions here.


I have never tried (or only for a few seconds, in a workshop) a violet wand. I would be curious to have such a device used on me. I am scared a bit, because electricity frightens me, but at the same time, in my “try everything once” (at least!) philosophy, I would like to experience it.

(Ok, that was a short entry!)

Find the complete set of questions here.


The fun thing is I have come to realise it is no different. Except that real life has to deal with unavoidable contingencies which fantasy does not have to. As I said on Day 3, I began exploring BDSM in fiction, so I wrote my first novel without having experienced anything I described, and also without much input from the actual BDSM scene. Basically it all came from my head and pussy. However, when I started comparing my notes with people’s real life experience, then to my own, I realise how scarily close to reality I had been, from the dynamic of a D/s relationship, and down to the simplest elements of a scene. But, at the same time, fantasy does not have to be limited by the daily life; people in a fantasy do not necessarily have to go to work, eat a proper quantity of veggies, go to pee regularly (unless it’s part of the play!), have their periods, and the pain they can take is limitless. In real life, shit (and bloopers) happen.

Find the complete set of questions here.


I am drawn to it because, ever since I started doing it, getting it makes me feel good and not getting makes me feel, well, not so good (grumpy and whimpy and self-destructive). I like the sensation an intense scene creates in me, and I like how peaceful I get when I simply kneel at my owner’s feet. Call me a simple girl.

I am also drawn to the kinky community, because I have found there, especially in the leatherdyke community of the Toronto-Ottawa-Montreal triangle, wonderful people who have become good friends.

Find the complete set of questions here.