Sunday, 18 March 2012

Mother's Day Thoughts

It's not really Mother's Day for me today, the Australian one is in May, and that's when I think of my own mum (but I am really useless and always forget until the day itself!) And today, after a lovely breakfast and waiting to walk down to our local for a pub lunch with my husband and son, I am thinking.

My friend Stacey who blogs here is waiting. Years of trying and disappointment, fertility treatment and finally falling pregnant with a couple of worries along the way, is now overdue and waiting impatiently for her little man to come. Her sweep is today and we are hoping he is the best Mother's Day gift ever!

Another friend a couple of years ago had an angel baby, a beautiful term boy, but with congenital heart disease, who fought valiantly but died. This little boy was conceived through IVF, she had another round of treatment, but it failed. They had all but given up hope. This week, she gave birth to a healthy, naturally conceived baby boy, her rainbow. I could not be more overjoyed and I smile when I think of them.

I'm thinking of all those mothers today who are sitting by incubators, by hospital beds, who are praying and waiting and hoping. For whom Mother's Day is not about flowers, chocolates and meals surrounded by family, but an anxious and uncertain time, a time of fear, of guilt and of sadness with a curious mix of joy thrown in.

There are mothers for whom the future is unknown, who have children born prematurely and are struggling, with disability, with uncertain diagnoses. And I think of those mothers who have been through so much and its not over.

I am thinking of dear friends, who I count as mothers, but are waiting anxiously to be approved for adoption, their journeys with infertility leading to the decision to say "enough, there is another way". The journey is long, and not straightforward, but their tenacity, resilience, and never-failing love is beginning to blossom already.

In my thoughts also are those for whom their families are complete before their time, like me. A dear friend, who is much younger than me, had awful bleeding following her emergency c-section and returned to theatre for a hysterectomy. They are now facing surrogacy to give their child a much wanted sibling.

I am thinking of those who have lost their babies, through still birth, mid and early term miscarriage, and neonatal loss. There are too many mothers who grieve, and today I think of them.

Mothers are amazing. We are resilient, knowledgeable and strong. We cry and we grieve. We love. We love so deeply. We care, not only for our own young, but for others.We give our time, whether it be formally for charities, or informally, sharing with our mum friends over a cuppa or a glass of wine. We are there.

If there is anything this journey has taught me, it's about the uncertanly of motherhood. Nothing is ever guaranteed, as much as we like to think it is. We can do all the right things, follow the rules, but things can, and do, go wrong.

But the greatest thing I have learnt is the resilience of mothers. their love, their strength, their honesty, their endurance. It does not matter how you mother, or how you became a mother, whether your babies are with you, or are angels, or are waiting to be born or to come to you through fostering or adoption.

You are a mother. And you are wonderful.


  1. Well now you've got me blubbing - so many mummies who can't be with all their babies today - so many mummies who are grateful for what they have but just want that little bit more - so many tears - but also so much joy brought by the little ones who are in our lives xxx

  2. You've made me cry too! I look at my lil man and I'm so proud and thankful to be his mum


  3. Thank you for putting the day into perspective. And for not taking my children for granted. X

  4. That was beautiful. Thanks for sharing!

  5. You always manage to beautifully capture in words the tangle of thoughts and emotions inside my head. I spent a lovely day with my mum, sister and my little girl but my thoughts were with my friends on the other side of the world. Already having 3 angels (inc one stillborn) they lost their little boy 6 months ago and yesterday was his 3rd birthday. So instead of celebrating mothers day, his mum spent the day at the grave of he and his sister. These stories make you feel SO lucky for what you have xx