The ad industry is home to even more barely-functioning alcoholics than related fields like media or pest control. While the average reporter at least waits until his last story is filed to hit the bar, ad agencies are installing bars right there in-house, so shaky, sweating employees can get some sips of their sweet, sweet medicine to help them focus on the task of thinking up jingles. Ha, no really it's all a very glamorous, Mad Men type of swinging party thing. At least that's what they want you to think.

An Ad Age survey of in-house bars at agencies reveals that-much like alcoholics themselves-they run the gamut from classy to trashy. A condensed highlight version:

The Homeless Drunk Beggar

Too cheap to afford a real bar, Digitas in Chicago satisfies staff with a travelling beer cart. "It's operated by Digitas staffers who walk from desk to desk offering a selection of Miller beers (Digitas is Miller's interactive shop), water, soda, popcorn and occasional specialty drinks." In brown paper bags, presumably.

The Frat Boy With A Burgeoning Problem

TBWA/CHIAT/DAY in LA has a "Surf Bar" made of castoff surfboards in its office, where the agency throws keg parties. Yea.

The Sad Hipster Drunk

Rivet in St. Louis has a bar called "The Bar." It has a ping-pong table, and "it's stocked with Pabst Blue Ribbon beer, a client, as well as wine and other basic drinks." So, so sad.

The Rich Alcoholic

JWT in New York has a 50-foot-long, plush, futuristic-looking in-house bar with white decor. It's brand new, and all the Diageo liquor is subsidized, along with bar food. As JWT staffers leave their elegant parties they toss a few coins at Digitas staffers to buy something from their beer cart.

[Ad Age]