Hi doctor,I am married for last four years and now 34 years old. My height is 5 feet 11 inches and weight is 78 kg. I am suffering from erection problem and lack of desire for sex. Just after marriage, these problems were not so severe, so I did not bother about it. We used to have sex successfully but with lesser frequency earlier. Although, on some days I failed to do intercourse due to loss of erection in the middle of it. Before marriage, I was addicted to pornography and do masturbate weekly 1 to 2 times. My personal feeling is that due to these habits I am not aroused sexually in real life with full potential with my wife.However, with age, these problems have gradually increased although I have abandoned pornography and masturbation after marriage. Now, I am only able to have sex after a long period gap of intercourse. Even after a gap, after 2 to 3 days of sex again I lose the desire and erection problem continues. I use sexual thoughts during sex and masturbate for some time to get some erection and complete the task somehow. But this is very uncomfortable for my wife. I have to do this because we are planning for a child now. At present, my primary concern is to be able to have sex at least for 10 to 12 days period per month (every alternate day) during her ovulation time. Kindly advice.My blood pressure is normal. I do not have sugar, thyroid or any major diseases at present. I do not have the habit of smoking and drinking. My semen analysis was done. The report shows slightly less sperm count. The only thing that from childhood my health and working power is below average. I get tired after small work. During worst situations, I took 50 mg Viagra only 4 to 5 times in the last three months. This worked very well for me without noticeable side effects. But I am scared to have this drug too often without medical advice. From last 20 days I am taking Himalaya Confido regularly and Tentex Royal on the day we want to have sex. I have found little improvement. Please help and suggest how can I overcome these problems.
Hello. I can understand your concern. The history you have mentioned clearly ruling out any serious organic problem for erection. Just to reassure you I would like to tell you that masturbation is a safe habit and it is not a cause for poor erection or loss of libido. But yes if an individual watches excess porn then that can affect his mind adversely. The expectation for sex increases after watching porn. Sex is shown in the dramatic and appealing manner in a porn video. By watching excess porn expectations increases. Once the individual is with his partner then this affects the mind psychologically and due to this unconscious stress, the libido or even erection decreases sometimes. So to overcome this first step is to stop watching porn completely. This you have done already. Try to spend more time in foreplay and both of you can play role play games. This will make sex interesting. Spend more time talking about sex too and this will also help a lot. Do not think that you will not get a proper erection or you might lose the erection. Try to distract yourself from these thoughts. Since you are getting good erections during masturbation or after stimulation with hands so this rules out any physical issue. The problem is in the head and this is resulting in stress during sex and consequent loss of erection. You have to suppress unwanted thoughts that you might not get a strong erection and also try to reduce the stress. You can continue to use Confido and Tentex Royal, these are herbal medicines and will surely help you. You can take two tablets twice a day for best results. Even if you take Sildenafil or Tadalafil on SOS basis even then no need to get worried. For some time you can use the medicines as per prescription and this will help in improving the confidence and you will get a good erection without tablets too. Though your weight is in normal range according to your height even then I would advise you to get serum testosterone levels done. This could be one of the reasons for low libido. If the levels are in mid to high range then no need to get worried. Try to have sex daily during 12 to 16th days of a menstrual cycle of your wife (day one is the first day of bleeding). Sex during this period will result in maximum chances of conceiving.  For more information consult a psychiatrist online -->