Hi doctor, I am concerned with something. I am a 30-year-old unmarried man whose sex life has not been so great so far. But what bothers me is the realization that my penis does not get really stiff in the act, when I had sexual encounters with a couple of girls recently. However, when I masturbate with hand or use fleshlight masturbator, my penis is really stiff and everything goes fine. I am a bit embarrassed too. What could be the reason? How can I overcome it?
Hi. I can understand. You are not yet married and therefore you should not worry much about your erection. A hard and stiff erection happens only one or two times before or during intercourse. If you have five minutes sex, the really hard erection will happen only for less than one minute. Otherwise, your penis will be a little bit sluggish. Secondly, hardness does not count in sex or ejaculation or childbirth. Having the ability to penetrate and ejaculate counts. Your present problem could be due to performance anxiety associated with having sex with unknown girls or with anxiety. Do not worry. Take care.