Hi doctor,I do not know what it is, but I feel as if I have fallen too hard. After a lot of try I got a job in a bank. It has been six months and suddenly I have lost all interest to go. I am on leave for the past one week. I feel like quitting my job. I feel like I lost the purpose of my life. I am in a relationship with a guy for past 8 years. I am in a live-in relationship with him for the past one year. No one knows about this except one of my close friends. Everyone thinks that we are married. He has promised me that he will marry me by next year. But, my mom does not like him. She does not know that I am staying with him. I do not know what I am going to do in my life. I have a good name at work. Now, after an uninformed absence of a week, I am scared to go back. I do not pick up calls anymore. I have uninstalled all the social networking sites now. I am not in touch with anyone and I do not want to be. I look around and see everyone happy. But, I do not feel that with myself. I cannot seem to at least try nowadays. I feel like no one understands me. I have hurt myself before. I want to die, but if I die I will never be able to prove myself to anyone. Please help.
Hi. I read your query and understand your concerns. From the available description, it appears that you are having depression, which is often characterized by sadness, decrease interest in almost all activities, including pleasurable one, indecisiveness, poor attention and concentration in addition to sleep and appetite disturbance. Most persons with depression feel miserable without any reason and that distinguishes it from normal sad experience. The presence of conflict with mother in regard to ongoing relationship could be the trigger for the onset of depression. In my view, you should see a psychiatrist without delay. He will ask you more questions to confirm the diagnosis of depression and to rule out other disorders presenting in a similar way such as bipolar disorder. Post evaluation he may prescribe medication or offer you psychotherapy after discussing with you. I must assure you that in current times depression is completely treatable illness and there is an excellent hope to recover from it. For further information consult a psychiatrist online -->