Hello doctor, I am a 31 year old man. My wife also 31 years old. I have been in relationship with her for the last 8 to 9 years and out of which 3 years, we have been married. We have been in long distance relationship before we got married. She is short tempered, and I know that as we know each other for long. But after marriage, when started living together, and if we have an argument any sort of that leads her to shouting, throwing stuffs, abusing, hitting, hurting herself and threatens to commit suicide. Whatever the argument is, it leads to the same. I cannot even share this with someone else because I think that people might get her wrong. I know she had a troubled childhood as her father died when she was 6. It is going on, and now I am too much stressed out with her behavior. When she gets angry she tries to do a lot of stuffs like cutting herself and banging head on the wall. I am worried if by chance any accidents will happen. I love her, and I do not know what do to. Please suggest me some way.
Hello. I have gone through what you have shared. I understand that you are going through a very tough time and concerned about your wife. I understand you want to help her and which is very genuine. But with a case like this, unless the person wants help we cannot do much about it. First, your wife has to understand that something is odd and she should be willing to get help. Once these two steps are done, then a professional psychologist can take it from there. If she is willing, then you consult a psychologist. If she is not, then the first step is for you to calm down and try to understand her perspective. I am sure you have been doing this for a long time. The idea is that she starts trusting you to show her ways to be calm. Both of you can go for yoga or some meditation. This helps in calming the mind and some form of exercise, to release extra energy. For further advice consult a psychologist counsellor online -->