Hello doctor, My son is 8 years old, and he does not like to do his homework. We requested him to do his homework in a soft voice and tried consoling him to study. Eventually, we gave up and heavily reprimanded my kid almost every day. Sometimes we beat him if things do not happen as expected. Later, we feel sorry for reprimand or beating. But, for the sake of his future, we console ourselves for behaving in such a way. I wanted to ask if we are doing the right thing? Is beating a child advisable? What should be done if he does not study even after requesting him in a soft voice? Please guide me.
Hello. Your experience with your son is common among many parents. The situation can be managed with appropriate support. Find out the reason why your son does not like to do his homework. Is he lazy or having any difficulties with studying, reading, or maths? Does he have any problems with attention and concentration? Discuss with his class teacher about how he is doing his work at school. If he is able to manage well at school, then learning difficulties are less likely. But if he struggles in school as well, mild learning difficulties need to be ruled out. Also, make sure that his vision and hearing are good. Regarding your questions, beating regularly will never be helpful. It is not easy, and it can be frustrating if the child refuses to do as told, but reprimanding and beating in this situation will not help. It will make your child feel negative, make him more stubborn, and make things worse in the long term. Use positive praise and rewards liberally. You can enforce discipline by using negative consequences if a child is not following rules (like limiting the access to TV, games, etc., for a short period). Follow a carrot and stick approach, which does not involve reprimanding or beating the child. It may take some weeks to see the difference, but both parents have to be consistent in your approach. I hope this helps.