Hello doctor, I am passing the worst time of my life for more than 1.5 years. Because my husband is getting frustrated and depressed day by day. I love him more than anything in the world, so I am too much worried about him. He works at home since he is a freelancer. We got married four years back and his problem started a year back. He became almost detached from all of his friends and family. So can you imagine his regular life? He wakes up at 12 PM. After that, he starts working on laptop till midnight. This lifestyle continued for almost one year. In the meantime, my mother-in-law and father-in-law both passed away suddenly within two months. My husband could not take this shock and he was going absolutely abnormal. Now he cannot feel any happiness, any rhythm or any charm. He acts just like a robot. As a wife, I am trying my best to make him normal and happy. But nothing can change him. Here is another difficult problem in our life. I tried to do freelancing job so that we can synch our life together. But I failed badly. Now I have no income and I am totally unemployed. This thing also a big reason of his disturbance. I am trying my best to do something, but what can I do in this sector? Except this one thing, I think I fulfill every responsibility to my husband as a wife, as a best friend. In this situation, I am also becoming frustrated. I am really afraid of our current situation. We love each other for more than 11 years and struggled so much to get together. We were a very happy couple and want to live some more time happily. Will you please help us to recover this situation?
Hello. From what you have described, your husband has not been his usual self for more than a year. Did his problems start after his parents passed away or was he feeling low and detached even before this? It looks like he has some features of depression which have been perpetuated by adverse life events. Do not worry, it will gradually get better with some support. It is highly positive that you are understanding his situation and taking steps to get better. It is quite natural to get frustrated but try to remember that this tough period will not last forever. Try following these self-help measures: 1. Encourage your husband to open up and talk about his difficult feelings. Do not get into arguments, just try to listen and look for constructive solutions. When someone is depressed, they can be more irritable and easily frustrated. So do not try not to take critical comments personally. 2. Encourage him to do some exercise daily. It will help to lift his mood. 3. Make sure he eats healthily and sleeps well. 4. Try to make him reconnect with his close friends and family. Avoid getting isolated. But do not force it too much, needs to be done gently. 5. Try to distract by going for cinemas once in a while. If the problems persist, it may be helpful to consult your doctor locally and have some counselling to manage the difficult life situation. Take care.