Hi doctor, I am 20 years old. I am an engineering college student. I have an younger brother. My parents have always been distant for as long as I remember and the beating, fighting and emotional abuse started around five years back. Now they started to fight with us too. My father always try to threaten us to do what he wants.  When I was very young, I had a passion for reading and I lost myself in books which made me absent minded to the world around me. As time passed on and a few horrific incidents in my life, I suppressed my memories even more and my emotions too. Now, I have emotions but I cannot recognize them or maybe I am confused with my emotions. I feel like there is something heavy in my heart. I do not know whether it is grief or depression. I became very suicidal and rushed to a doctor. He was not able to help me. My parents found out and I was punished. My father hit me and verbally abused me. I saw another doctor and she diagnosed me as having anxiety disorder and she gave me some medicines. I used them for about a week and felt better. But the moment I stopped using those, I started to feel depressed again. My studies have been badly affected. Right now, I just want a proper diagnosis of my condition. I do not have any friends. All my friends left me because of my bad mood and sadness. When I express my issue they are thinking I am just bluffing. I do not know how to go on. Please help.
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