I am a homosexual indian boy living in Europe. I often find men to date. I am attractive(for average men). I do not indulge in sex, because I believe in a long term relationship in order to have an intercourse(there are other ways to satify each other, I don´t give my dates blue balls). But recently, I have stared liking an Indian boy, who was actually not my type, besides being a heterosexual. I fancy him a lot these days. We spend a lot of time together and I can´t really avoid him. Whenever I get back home, he shows up and finds a reason to hang out together. He probably sees only a good friend in me, but I can see only a good manly figure in him.It is not so obscure about my sexuality, but he doesn´t seem to read it on me. I personally did not feel to urge to justify my sexuality to anybody. He is not the best looking nor with the best body, but he possesses a good brain and a nice heart. He is also selfish at time, but since I am the only one around with whom he can share and/or discuss the books we read, he is nice to me and makes it up for his occasional stupid behaviour with me. I want to have him as a good friend but I often drift into thinking of him sexually even if I am with my good looking dates. What can I do? Secondly I have stopped masturbating for a more than a week, but I have many arousals each day. If I musterbate, I automatically shift into thinking of him, which I want to consciously avoid. Can you help me? Or even recommend me article, which would help me reflect upon my issue?Regards
Hello, Obsessive thoughts about someone is due to the emotional relationship. This can be overcome by cognitive behavior therapy. Hope I have answered your query. Let me know if I can assist you further. Regards, Dr. K. V. Anand, Psychologist