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people always tell me how handsome i am i m ft with a muscular build i have a deep voice i m well read with interesting hobby and i can make people laugh but my teenage year were miserable with crippling social anxiety lack of confidence 0 friend and most importantly for me not even a touch of skin with a girl let alone holding hand you wouldn t believe just how crippling it wa i couldn t look a stranger in the eye properly until i wa 0 i wa raised to be away from other kid and naturally my only source of fun wa videogames at least hour a day people are always surprised to find out i m single i ll be tonight i somehow got through college without understanding social cue from my female classmate a couple of whom i later found out for sure liked me and that they had dropped some hint my life ha been on constant repeat of music porn and videogames i ve been begging god since i wa for a girlfriend after i just hoped i would get one soon and soon and soon with the pandemic flying by i realized it s almost been year and that i m about to be i can t bear it it s too painful every one of my peer have boyfriend and girlfriend they had at least a couple of long term one before my age this is killing me i feel like a baby that wa never cared for by his parent so i turned out to be a cold hearted psychopath from lack of love i feel like i m literally going insane i ve been having weird idea lately not just suicidal idea idea that would scare a normal person i finally understand how a normal person can go crazy like this it doesn t matter if i get a girlfriend now that part of my life ha been so bad so lonely that i m at a point that nothing is able to hold back this suicidal feeling i ve always been more emotional than other guy especially when it come to love i know guy my age that don t care about not having girlfriend but my problem is not that i don t have a girlfriend now it s that i ve never had one when i needed it the most i have a lot of med in my drawer that i m gon na gulp down with whiskey and go to sleep after shooting heroin i jokingly told people that i don t feel like living and their only response wa that death is painful well this way it won t hurt a bit | 1 |
i got my thing set up i ll run away and try to cut my wrist probably on some kind of train track or busy road to be certain i cant deal with life anymore i m just exhausted and i want my rest ik i tried to do it but i always bursted out in tear and eventually did not commit to it but it enough life keep throwing rock and i don t dodge them anymore i tried getting help and didn t get any i tried talking to ppl but got ignored i tried just going on but now i can t deal with it anymore i fucking y o and i always say it normal to be kinda depressed at this age but i don t believe it normal i don t get love and i probably don t deserve it just wan na leave this message for the ppl that know me you probably don t care bc i tried talking and you did nothing it not your fault i m just a coward and cant deal with it anymore so bye have a wonderful life | 1 |
how can i leave my abusive relationship and still keep my cat i ve been suicidal and right now my cat is the only part of my life that make me want to be alive i don t have anywhere to go and currently live alone with my bf thing started becoming physical when i called him out for cheating now i feel unsafe and desperately want to get away i m sure we re going to be losing our place due to not having money to pay rent i m wondering if anyone had resource out there where i can get help to leave and still keep my cat with me thank you to any who help | 1 |
it can take me almost a week to clean something simple or put away a small pile of laundry i didn t even eat today by anxiety wa too high and when i brought it down the depression wa unbearable all i can think about is how i never asked to be in this life to be born especially in today society i have trouble connecting with people and my social anxiety is so bad all the therapist i ve seen never really cared and acted like i wa being over dramatic the pill made everything worse and now i m apparently treatment resistant i can t even finish my resume because i m terrified of being around people again yet i can t find anyone who care enough to help my friend don t understand and they ve given up on me i just want a simple stay at home job with very little human interaction my friend said that s impossible which made me even more suicidal i hate the phrase it s a permanent fix to a temporary situation this isn t temporary i ve been dealing with depression and anxiety for basically year now yes i ve tried to get help but nothing ha worked i just keep getting worse i don t want to wake up i m too afraid of messing up an attempt that i haven t gone through with it i m just stuck in this hellish existence and i just want it to end i have no purpose no meaning please i just want it to end | 1 |
i can t do this anymore i think i might finally end it all i m just not sure the right method to complete it i have nothing more to live for i can t go on feeling how i feel i m all alone with no one to help me today is just the final straw i just need all the pain inside to end i ve attempted before and it didn t work i need to make sure it work this time | 1 |
i m and recently have gone back to school in person during covid were some of the best time of my life strangely enough a i learned i had a passion for game development and met so many cool people that i could just hang out with all day and never get bored though now that i have gone back to in person schooling i have felt so lonely i have always struggled with finding close friend with them always having someone else i feel like everyday is a massive obstacle and it s so repetitive and i just feel so lonely all the time idk what to do anymore i feel like it would just be easier to feel nothing then have to do this shit every god damn day since i don t have time to hang out with my game dev friend anymore and i just wan na die and all my other friend go to different school which make it rly impossible to get close with them i have tried talking to girl and i always fuck it up and i just can t do this shit anymore i feel so lonely and wan na km tho i know i m too much of a pussy to actually do it since it would be painful | 1 |
sorry for the clickbait title i just really want to share call this number if you re feeling down and hopefully it ll lift your spirit 0 99 0 i saw it on instagram | 1 |
i don t know if i want to die but i wish i wasn t ever born i am so fucking confused i constantly imagine myself getting hit by a train or jumping from high building i browse way to get oneself killed all i have are negative thought i imagine myself killed in accident or fight i am on medical study and i am not fucking interested in anything that these study involve i hate each and every one of people that are in here my group are all guy whose goal in life is to fucking learn a much a they can and boast about it later if they only have chance destroying other people by chance they are not fucking human i tell you their mindset is fascist hurting and non respective for others that i sometimes ditch fucking day on uni because of it they are fake pretending to be your friend while the other day they plunge you in front of every other my friendship with my only true homies from high school is constantly deteriorating my best friend got himself a girlfriend and got so fucking high on her that he completely lost touch with reality he doesn t fucking care anymore i do not have a girlfriend nor a chance to get one i do not have perspective for my life my real ambition are completely separate from the path that i ve already chosen every day is the same i don t find enjoyment in life i hate degenerate humankind but i am somewhat a degenerate myself i suspect myself to be fucking autistic because of symptom that appear in everyday social interaction call me stupid incel or whatever i do not fucking care i just needed to write this | 1 |
the word kill yourself repeating in my mind every time i think of how fucked my life is | 1 |
i can t tell you how many time i ve hoped for someone to show up to a place i m at and shoot me maybe then i ll make it onto the news maybe then someone will give a damn maybe | 1 |
i m tired of seeing political shit all the time everybody is always making fun of someone or arguing with someone and it s everywhere i wan na fucking kill myself for the sole purpose of escaping it it s not just on reddit either it s youtube it s real life it s tv commercial and tv show i hate it so much it make me lose all hope for humanity i want to leave this country but i can t i fucking hate living on this god forsaken planet please if anyone who is hyper political is reading this fucking stop do something else | 1 |
for a far a i could remember i wa always depressed and hopeless i wa always the mediator so i took in all the negative energy from others and let everyone use me like a emotional punching bag i grew up in a very dysfunctional way and i don t want to share it exactly but i want it to be known not only that but i have been fucked at every turn in life i ve been sexually manipulated almost burned alive neglected and i ve been told to just deal with it even though it pained me extraordinarily so the biggest thing that made me want to commit wa when my father passed and ever since i felt suicidal last march i wa going through some bad memory and i wa just being extremely depressed i remember waking up at am and numb in every conceivable way emotionally mentally and physically it wa like i wa in a trance and before i knew it i wa making a noose when i wa done i went outside and found a tree to tie the noose on and then before i did it i snapped out of it i remember just standing there and looking at the noose for good minute or so and then i chickened out i took the noose and threw it behind my shed and went to talk to suicide hotline sometimes i feel like i should ve just ended it then and there i still get so depressed and angry that i just have no idea on what to do that urge is creeping back and i feel more of a waste of space than ever what should i do | 1 |
now i regret ever seeking help the hotline had me wait so long and basically just mirror my word what s the point of looking for help anyway they just add to thing i fail again | 1 |
i m trying to take a sick mental health day but it s not working i m so paranoid i won t get to graduate eighth grade for having absence yeah our school give u 9 per semester but i m scared and yeah my principle ha been pretty lenient and let people with f s pas i have good grade but i always think everything is going to turn out horribly for me no matter what i do i feel so useless my friend don t seem like they even like me i m pretty much down to one friend that actually like me and it s an older girl i met online and that s pretty much it i want to die everyone and everything end up hurting me | 1 |
i d give anything to die i can t take this pain anymore | 1 |
i m not fat and dumb it s just how my life s been for a long time now and i don t see any change happening in the next few month or year idk | 1 |
im so tired of being alive and experiencing thing in general nothing is fun i suffer non stop and i feel like people that try to get rid of me are following me what s the point to live when i m only going to encounter these people everywhere and work a hour job just to go home and sleep i feel like the only reason people want me to stay alive is so that i can be put to use for them i have 00g of sn and antiemetic maybe i will put them to use tomorrow sometimes i wish i could just hire a killer to do the job for me | 1 |
idk how or when maybe overdose on some pill but i don t wan na suffer or maybe hang myself but again i don t wan na suffer | 1 |
im so tired i just want to sleep forever making a promise to myself that tonight is the night reaching out for help didn t work i can t do this anymore sorry guy | 1 |
i dont remember the first year of my life due to my father and his friend molesting me till mum finally managed to get away from him my earliest memory is drowning at the age of and having no one to care about me afterwards i wa just sent on my way at 0 i wa accused of beating my little brother when nobody wa looking mum refused to believe me even when he finally said it wa a kid at school that wa the first time i nearly killed myself life ha not gotten better my sister married another abuser my step dad lost the house and car and my mum is a neurotic mess who couldn t give a shit about me besides a her emergency atm i dont see why i should bother with life when this is all i have known it literally never get better i finally know how i will do it i have given myself week to see if i still want to do it and nothing ha changed my family probably wont know for a while nor care so this may be my only chance to say good bye life is just shit for some people i lost before i got a chance to start and i am fine with that now i suppose | 1 |
my roomate talk with her parent everyday for atleast 0 0 min and the maximum duration i spend on call with my parent is min it s not like they don t love me but i guess i m too boring or irritating for my parent too being a loner with no friend i crave for that extra one minute to talk and share what happened in the day with my parent ofc holding my tear back i hate how my roommate are social butterfly and how they are connected with their parent too i hate myself | 1 |
i lost everything lost friend lost the love of my life most painful lost my tooth have a fragile filling lost my youth i keep losing i ruined everything and keep ruining everything i am tired i really want to know my future will i find my place in society and a loving heart or will i die alone miserable and pathetic should i risk and keep living i don t like risking dying seems like a safe option my existence is pathetic i am the worst man alive cowardly and egoistic | 1 |
ive always been extremely considerate for people need even sacrificing my own for the sake of their need always just never telling the full picture or always refraining from saying certain thing a i do not want to offend people i just never get that level of consideration back not even half of it i must be a prick asking for this stuff i shouldnt expect anything for being kind but it always suck when you always get the short end of the stick always ignored no one give a shit not even from redditors though ive met some pretty kind one but the others are honestly garbage i remember i once typed something about killing myself and some random person messaged me sayinng that they want me to buy something for them a i anyways would not stay here for long that wa a year ago on this subreddit there wa a deleted comment in that post but i guess it wa the person who messaged me that one year ago ready to kill myself and here we are a year later and no progress with that i also remember another dude who said tick tock when i mentioned about killing myself not in this subreddit but from the trueoffmychest one i honestly fucking wonder why im even here ive amounted to almost nothing im tired of caring or expecting any form of love ive had so much copium in my entire life that i just never realised that no one really give a shit about me and im just dangling on a fucking thread that just wont fucking break cuz im a coward who secretly want to live but just want this fucing contant pain misery and dissappointment to just go away for once in my miserable life tldr fuck everything and everyone goodbye and goodnight | 1 |
the title pretty much sum up everything i turned a couple of day ago and i ve been dealing with my depression etc for a couple of year now and i ve been feeling completely hopeless about my future and everything else i just want to disappear forever | 1 |
i m so tired of living every day i wake up and resent that i m still alive wasting oxygen i m in pain every day i want it all to stop i wish my mum had an abortion when she wa pregnant with me i hate myself | 1 |
i m 9 year old and i have been depressed and lonely since i wa i have had some ups and some people that i connected with over the year but i have lost them all or wa betrayed by them i don t know how to talk with other people even people who have similar interest to me and i always think i make everyone feel awkward when they are around me or that i m imposing myself on them every month i tell myself that thing will get better and sometimes they do but then i lose what made me happy and everything else go wrong too it s been year of telling myself that thing will get better only to have them turn worse and i m so tired of it i am really afraid of death and i realize that i don t want my life to end i just want another life but suicide is starting to sound like the most bearable option | 1 |
so i have a friend that is showing warning sign of suicide what do i do to avoid a crisis situation and what do i do if it becomes a crisis and help is too far out i know every second matter and every action and word can mean the difference between life and death for my friend any and all help is appreciated | 1 |
i need therapy and i finally fully acknowledge it i am an unemployment year old student in lebanon middle east not the u my parent are some old school arab folk that would never entertain the idea of me going to therapy and the fact that i could never share the real reason behind it only make thing harder and the possibility of them cooperating even more impossible thankfully i can figure out how to sneak to therapy behind their back and although i have it really hard money wise i could afford a mid to low budget therapist a long a it will get me anywhere it would be the absolute biggest financial burden ever but i guess i got ta heal my problem among a couple lesser one i am what would be best described a in my own word casually suicidal i have been for so long just wanting to die and although i have no intention to act on it it weighs a lot on you to be jealous out of all thing from people that die around you i am scared that talking about it to a therapist might make her have to break confidentiality another thing that i am worried about is that any therapist i d go to might not be okay with me because of my belief i am pretty certain that my nihilistic philosophy backed by my lack of religious belief would have to be talked about problem is that i live in a muslim community and in these community my perspective on religion isnt taken lightly what is your take your opinion and all of that sorry if the text is messy and all over the place i just wanted to journal and thought that i might use this opportunity to take someone s opinion a well | 1 |
tw sui attempt mention of method invalidation take care of yourself before reading i m really really confused because i keep really really invalidating all the time i wanted to die i don t want to call them attempt because they aren t serious i took redacted amount but not a lot of zoloft the first time which is not enough to kill anyone i didn t know that but i wanted to die so that s the closest i think i ve ever gotten to a real attempt but i feel like it s more of an od than an attempt and i m just calling it an attempt based of my ni vete at the time the other two were the same night so i don t even know if i should classify them a separate or not the first the rope wa way too long and the second i didn t tie it correctly and it slipped i didn t try after that but like i never even got a little choked can i even call those attempt i wanted to die but wasn t in any danger these were all year ago and i ve had some therapist say they were attempt but i don t really believe that i wasn t close to dying like my intention i m so ashamed to even call them attempt because they seem so pitiful this past december i feel confident calling my cut a suicidal gesture because if i wasn t chicken i would have gone deeper into the artery i still needed stitch though because i wanted to die but knew that i wouldn t go deep enough so that s not even a true attempt either everyone else i talk to in my life with attempt is like yeah i attempted x amount of time and almost died and had to be in the hospital and i m sitting over here thinking how fucked up is it that i m calling my pitiful gesture attempt when they haven t even come close to having negative consequence it doesn t seem right to me am i just calling them attempt for attention because i want to make people think it wa more severe then it actually wa | 1 |
i wa on the edge of killing myself i wa dissociating and experiencing derealization on a daily basis i didn t think i would ever make a decision to pull the trigger but i wa convinced one day i would sleepwalk into doing it it wa strange but maybe some of you know what that feel like i quit drinking and doing all drug i wa depressed for a week but now i have not felt this good in year five year maybe i feel like myself again i tell joke i think clearly about thing and find enjoyment in life nothing else ha changed in my life but the weight of my emotional problem just doe not feel a heavy and it is not something that i am burdened by every minute of every day like it wa before i don t care what anyone else doe with their life i ll probably have a drink when i go out again starting in a few week but before anyone take drastic measure please try cleaning up just to see what your mind feel like in it natural state it ha worked for me and i did not ever think i would feel normal again it is working and i really really hope it can work for some of you too nobody should have to feel the way we have felt | 1 |
i tried to make my dream come true trying to make the law school thing work but it just won t happen i just wanted to succeed in law so bad but after the constant humiliation inability to compete with my peer and lack of a discernable future i ve realized i m not intelligent enough to succeed alcohol ha taken over my life recently trying to runaway from all the failure ha me in a drunken stooper most night so a would obviously follow im just thinking about escaping this world leaving it all behind and doing so in a responsible way in which only i would be harmed i m just not cut out for this world i know this with certainty i ve seen enough of life to where i just know im not strong enough to withstand it s horror i want this world to no longer have to deal with me i want no one to ever have to know me | 1 |
i have nothing to offer anybody that they can t and don t get from a dozen other better people i m ashamed to even exist in front of others let alone pretend that i m a real interesting in any way attractive person i m tired of pretending though i m tired of feeling like knowing that nobody care and for good reason other people are just unconcerned with me all of them always i m going to be alone until i kill myself nothing help nothing will help i m just a reject which make so much of life off limit to me and it s part that feel extremely important | 1 |
i lost a 0 dollar bill my mom gave me for emergency money that i have to give back to her i think that s god saying it s time for me to leave i m so poor and that wa not something i could lose i deserve to starve because of my stupid mistake i don t even deserve food i don t deserve to afford food anyway | 1 |
i fucking hate my life i hate everyone | 1 |
for a long a i can remember i ve always just felt inferior i m not good at anything i m not attractive i m not rich i don t have any unique talent or ability i literally just exist to let people down i always thought that a i got older i d slowly figure it all out but it hasn t gotten better and it never will i deserve to die for being a burden to everyone in my life | 1 |
what the title say | 1 |
loved her and gave her everything we went through alot cancer for my mom cancer for her mom we leaned on eachother stress life living together just so much love for her if you check my last post on r infidelity you can see the detail basically she dumped me said she feel numb need to be alone stress her mother illness work all that devastated me i accepted her decision and even told her if she feel like she need to be alone she s doing the right thing i wa going to propose soon now i wa devastated already really bad really in the most pain and now to find out she wa cheating put it on a whole new level the feeling of being thrown in the garbage and replaced the feeling of inadequacy like i can t be loved there a way out and i can end the pain i don t see a way out for me im so lonely im in so much pain | 1 |
when all i did wa be there for her i drove fucking mile when her anxiety wa about to make her pas out when her parent wouldn t understand even when she left and there were pregnancy scare and thought of him leaving and now the whole town know me a a fucking rapist and stalker even though we only kissed once i know this is going to sound fucked up even worse but i genuinely can t take the lie no one should get away with doing that to someone else and i really don t think im going to let her i really really really really don t want to but it s all i can think about god help me | 1 |
i wish i have never been born funnily enough i wa saved by the doctor at least twice in my life i don t understand fate really there are were many more deserving people to live than i am now i have to clear all this mess that i ve created i need to get rid of take care of so many thing i don t want my family to face all these problem after my death i don t want anybody at work to know i did not even want to create this post but by writing it the pain becomes more bearable and i can focus on finishing the thing i need to do at least that is the plan but there is still such a long road ahead of me and the pain is so unbearable so relentless and suffocating i would really like to give up sooner and i can t i want to escape my mind and my feeling be somewhere else not to exist would be paradise | 1 |
waiting for godot is a play where nothing happens two men stand at a bus stop waiting for a man named godot to come he never arrives that s existence waiting for someone or something that never arrives i ve been waiting for my friend for a long time and yet they never come i used to think i had a few close friend who would be there for me when i needed them but time ha proven otherwise so i m waiting for godot now but sooner or later i could simply find a ticket and take a bus | 1 |
i want to overdose and be done with this shit i m tired any pill combo that could help me | 1 |
because i have a feeling that most of you see yourselves a rick s you feel like you re a god cuz you ve realized that you could transcend emotion and everything but you re just trash in the end at least that is how i feel xd | 1 |
haven t written here in a long time let myself believe i wa getting better but seems like it s all just a scam i just wish i had my escape route open we shifted a few month ago and now my escape hatch is gone too | 1 |
i feel so trapped been through a divorce that s completely breaking me financially i have no friend and i work too much to make them i wa dating a lady fell hard for her and i can t move past her or get over her since we work directly with each other my job is a fairly uncommon one so i don t have much opportunity for another one that s pay a well i m completely stuck and i just want to be done with all of life s bullshit that s all i ever get handed is bullshit | 1 |
it feel like ever since i wa younger i couldn t ever make myself feel a will to live for context i wa abused pretty badly by my mom at a young age hit in the face beer bottle broken over my head and all the mental shit that came with it and at my grandma took me in and then i moved into my own place at my age now 0 but the feeling never went away in fact it stayed with me and i ve always been lonely never even had my first kiss through out my life and the feeling of just shooting my fucking brain all over my wall get stronger each week i have called hotlines and it s helped a lot but i never get over it in the long run | 1 |
i m at a very weird place in my life right now i m a year old male in college i m failing my college class a i have no motivation to do well in them i have a very poor relationship with my parent and family the one organization in my college that i m extremely involved with ha cut tie with me over accusation that are not true i have a leadership role in this organization and being a leader in the organization with no prior experience ha brought me a ton of hater and people that just want to see my downfall i literally have no future a i m supposed to graduate this semester and get a job but i am nowhere near both i can t pursue my real passion and to top it all of and what really might put me over the edge is problem with this woman in my life we met through this organization that i wa talking about earlier in this text a a captain i have my own committee of people that i oversee and she wa one of my committee member the first time we hung out in october she took me out to a bar after i turned it wa just me and her we quickly started to develop this really cool friendship where d we hangout and talk almost daily a a young man hopeless in love i started to develop feeling but nothing crazy because i almost always saw her a a best friend first and i m sure she felt the same way then we were at a bar about a month ago she wa talking to some guy at the bar and i wa having a funny conversation with my friend but i could see from the corner of my eye that she wa talking to this man and that s when i first started feeling these feeling of jealousy but i could tell she wa looking at me too talking to my friend and she came to me and we embraced and i hugged her almost all night had my arm around her and everything and she had her hand over mine too and we just kept feeling each other this wa the first time we ever moved into this phase of our friendship and i think we both felt something brewing in our heart for one another a few day went by and i wa out yet again talking to this other chick i met at the bar and we ended up almost hooking up back at my place but i couldn t go through with it because all i could think about wa my best friend who i really liked i m an introvert at heart and will always keep my feeling inside because i m scared to tell people how i feel and i suppress those feeling but literally the next day after this hookup that didn t happen i wa at a friend s st birthday party and got hammered myself and i had this urge of wanting to tell my best friend how i truly felt about her and that s exactly what i did it wa a thursday night she always go to this one specific club on thursday night so i ditched my friend and went to that club to see her and it literally played out like a romantic film she wa the first person i saw when i walked in and went up to her and for the first time in my life i poured my heart out to her and told her how i felt about her and how she make me feel and at first she wa shocked and then she said she felt the same way and we kissed for a long time at this moment i wa on cloud 9 i had never had a girlfriend before had never been in a relationship before but in this moment it wa just me and her against the world and i loved it we started to head back to my apartment but the alcohol wa kicking in for me and i passed out once i got back to my apartment i woke up the next day and saw her heel on the floor but she wa nowhere to be found so i texted her and told her that i wa sorry for passing out from the alcohol but i meant every word i told her last night she didn t text me back till later that day and she said that she wa thinking about it all day and night and she didn t want to fuck up our friendship a it s one of the few good thing in her life right now and i totally get that wa i disappointed hearing this yeah of course i wa but i texted her back saying that we can talk about this in person another time but for right now enjoy your weekend the next day we saw each other at a party and i talked to her outside and told her that i d rather say we tried to make it work and it didn t rather than not giving u a chance at all and she never gave me a clear answer she texted me later that night saying that she needed a break and some time to think so i said okay a few day later we had our last committee meeting and it wa so awkward cause we hadn t talked before and we were on this so called break and after the meeting ended she immediately left even though she usually wait for me i got a text from her later that night around am saying that this letter i wrote for everyone on my committee wa very sweet and cute and i asked her how long this break should last and she said she wasn t sure a she didn t want me to think that she wa leading me on which i thought she wa doing so we hopped on this facetime call and had a really nice long conversation about all the stuff we had to catch up on and then after an hour i switched the topic back to our relationship and she basically said that she didn t feel the same way i wa so hurt when she said this because all the sign pointed to her liking me too and i really felt like i knew what her heart wa saying we both went to sleep cry that night for each other the next day i sent her a text this time saying that i do need some space to figure thing out and we can talk after spring break so for the next week we didn t talk she didn t view my story like any of my social medium post and just simply didn t communicate with each other and it wa one of the worst thing for me to go through a she wa someone i really looked forward to talking to and to not be able to do that just sucked the sunday before we came back to college i texted her and asked if she d be down to hangout that first week we got back and she said she wa down to do so and i wa so happy because it felt like i wa getting my friend back again but then a few day later she angrily text me asking if i told anyone that we hooked up which isn t true and i told her that i didn t which is true there were rumor going around about u from people that saw u hangout a lot that saw u embrace at the bar that saw u kiss at the club and saw u walk back to my apartment together so people could only assume that we were a thing and i kept telling her that but she wasn t having it she facetimed me saying that she regretted ever kissing me she didn t want to be friend anymore and all this shit i wa extremely hurt hearing this and just wanted my friend back and wanted to forget ever opening up my feeling for her so i sent her a really long text explaining that i never said anything that i really cared about her and just wanted my best friend back she responded by saying that she appreciated me reaching out and that she wa over the situation and that she s not ready to move forward with me and doesn t think our friendship will ever be the same so i texted her this morning and i said i get it and if there wa any way we could meet in person and just talk she responded back by saying that she s potentially open to it but not now maybe next week so i said i just genuinely need someone to talk to but i understand her the last text she sent me wa i don t think i can be that person for you anymore i m sorry i am heartbroken devastated and hopeless angry at myself angry at this world and i just want to leave i have no direction in life no one to turn to anymore and i just want to end it all a soon a possible | 1 |
so i m starting to reach the point of getting rid of thing i own that way no one else ha to do that i don t really want to be in this mood but i don t see why i should bother trying anymore i m at the point where i can t hide how miserable i am and i don t want people to tell me it will get better or that i ve come such a long way i feel like i m holding those people back and they re wasting their energy on me i m not scared of dying anymore even though all i want is to not feel like garbage | 1 |
i ve just massively overdosed on all of my prescription and it won t be long till i get peace i live by myself so no stopping it now no point complaining about why but i guess this is just a last goodbye it s too late to go back on it i finally feel like i ve made the right choice for the first time in my life it s nice thanks good luck | 1 |
im now and my entire fucking life people have laughed at me every day i get told negative thing about my body and personality every fucking day a while back i reached out to my friend about self harm all they did wa joke around and tell me to cut myself deeper now i told them about suicide and they did exactly the same they even gave me method on how to do it i just wan na die i wan na stop existing and then everything will be over why is it so hard for them to understand this is serious i don t get it | 1 |
i feel trapped and like there s no way out everything feel like shit i went through ton of family and mental health issue but i soldiered on and i got my college diploma in social science and my bachelor degree in sociology i wa on the dean s list i worked my as off through mental illness and exhaustion and i m in thousand of dollar debt i did everything people told me to do keep going get a degree take out loan and now i can t find a fucking job that doesn t pay total shit public transit is beyond atrocious i just have 0k debt staring at me in the face every time i open my bank app i ve applied to hundred of job hundred of job my brother want me to go back to school and get more debt more fucking debt he want me to leave my boyfriend and move to another province i can t talk to him about my issue because every time that s all he suggests same with my best friend my dad life in a tiny town in newfoundland and make shit wage my mom life somewhere in ontario and ha made no effort to help me out despite not getting to see me grow up due to a nasty divorce i have no will left i m afraid i m gon na snap and go crazy i try really really hard to be positive but it s really hard to keep it up i feel like i m in one of those trap where the wall are slowing squishing you until you die please doe anyone have any advice anyone i m dying my hope is fading so fast | 1 |
i m a high school student f and i m not living in a country which speaks english so i m sorry if i m making grammatical mistake i m so exhausted i have did because of the s xual a ault i went thru a a child i can t deal with all these flashback and i have exam responsibility i can t even get out of bed but i have to study for exam i don t even know what i want in the future i don t want a future at this point i can t do this anymore so i decided to end it all tonight goodbye everyone | 1 |
yeah maybe you get your shit off your chest but nobody really care even here for the most part maybe 00 people read what you wrote but probably just will comment on it and say something to cherish you can someone make a group chat or like a discord server where we can vc and talk for hour and hour idfk please | 1 |
i wa just doing my fucking job today like any other normal person and somebody wa very obviously taking photo of me why fucking live like this my life is already shit because i m disabled and in chronic physical pain that will persist for my entire life people just have to dump more on me by alienating me i hate my life i want to die but also i want everybody who ha ever taken a picture of me to die also i hate them and myself nothing but staring laughing and pointing whenever i go outside it must be such a fucking privilege to look normal and never have to deal with those thing | 1 |
surviving and being in worst condition or facing the disappointment of my family is the only thing stopping me from ending it | 1 |
i feel so much worse after talking to a counseller i swear this time i might actually do it | 1 |
suicidal all weekend watched the infamous funky town gore video i m usually ok with gore and death but that wa horrific made me think could that be me in hell for eternity i mean if human could do something that drawn out and horrific there s no telling what would be in store down there and all because i couldn t handle the cruelty of human nature | 1 |
i ve tried everything i can think of or have been forced into and i m not getting better i m failing every class because i can t get myself to show up my parent are sick of me and trying to get me sent away my mom telling everyone i know about how i m such a pain in the as everybody is telling me to get my as up and get over it but i feel like nobody get me i am so tired and so done | 1 |
well i have so much going on in my brain let me try to organize it having an existential crisis i m i ve done nothing with my life i m scared to death that a sizable chunk of my life is gone for nothing i work at fast food where there is no advancement whatsoever i just want to go back to school but i can t tired of my job like i said i work fast food i worked a a crew leader and the b i went through on a daily basis wa enough to have me walk out a year and a half of day a week of bull crap just piled up on top of me one and a half year of them playing music i can t stand and me being too nice to say anything because i didn t want to be the one to ruin it for everyone else so i endured with one ear bud in my ear until my bos told me no ear bud back to square one listening to others music for hour a day tired of life ever since 0 hell ever since i got out of the army my life ha been shit in the army i wa confident strong and proud my co took everything from me and gave me the boot ever since 009 my life ha been a struggle to get settled on two foot i ve abused drug been raped been abused been through natural disaster that have taken everything from me i have been kicked to my butt then kicked again while i wa down i hate being disabled i m ptsd ocd bipolar adhd i take so many medication that i don t know what to do with myself just to have a somewhat normal life i m so tired of getting my emotion dismissed and told that i m overreacting just because my disability isn t seen | 1 |
this lady is responsible for my first experience being choked at broke an ankle getting tossed out of the back door in my underwear at 9 because i called my mom a demon i knew it at nine she s a fucking beast who fed me to her partner who is a beast and a fucking pedo now she s on this faux spiritual journey which includes putting loving herself first like after year of breaking mirror with your fist when i wa and shoving me down stair and ripping out my hair and beating me until my ankle broke trying to run free is all in the past and now i m so i have to move on with no closure and you expect me to just be goofy and smile and that s my new purpose she birthed me to be a freaking body bag and she discarded me too it s just so surreal to realize that you were born with the purpose to love and follow the one who had a kid because she needed a friend now she doesn t need me and now i feel like i also have no purpose maybe i never did in the first place i wa the girl that took the abuse silently and now my role is done but what do i do with myself now then why am i here if no one need me anymore | 1 |
for the last five to seven year at least i ve always figured that once my parent were gone it would be my time i can t bring myself to do that to them however the resentment toward myself and my entire existence have manifested into something that is extremely hard to control i m not going to get into specific but that is just how i feel i guess my main curiosity is if there s anyone else who s still around solely because the thought of their death impacting their family would crush them that s the only thing going for me this day and age i hate every moment and every interaction even though i constantly try to convince myself it s good for me countless time i ve tried failed and never seemed to fit in i m just done i hate everything unfortunately even though i try to love i love my family although it s just too much i ve been hurt and ignored to the point i ve convinced myself no one give a fuck which is probably true nobody doe maybe someone is in the same boat i ve tried to be the most optimistic person i can but i ve been failed so many time i struggle to even grasp for a reason why | 1 |
she wa the only thing making me feel guilt or sadness at the thought but now knowing she won t care i think i m ready | 1 |
the one reason i ve decided to stay alive ha left me she said that the way i acted wa too much and she had cut me out of her life completely she wa the only reason i d keep trying but now she s all gone there s no point to anything anymore i m so tired of trying i miss her so much i m diagnosed with depression ptsd and bipolar type ii i m on anti depressant on a dosage considered to be high for adult it doe nothing for me i can t find the energy to do anything anymore my mom said she s going to leave because i m too much for her to deal with now i doubt she will see this but if she doe i love you so much i know people say it get better and i ll find someone else she s the only person who loved me unconditionally and showed me that the world isn t a bad a it seems now she s gone i ll be leaving at 00 thanks to whoever stayed with me on my journey | 1 |
i am not sure if this is the right place for it but last friday one of my classmate told me jokingly to jump out of a window i ve had it up to here so i said i d blow my head off my other teacher know i don t mean it most of the time but we had a new teacher during that lesson and i guess he took it seriously will come back to that later on the weekend i tried to hurt myself and went to the hospital on monday they prescribed me some lexapro and i went home relieved that i finally got some help half an hour after i returned home cop stormed my apartment saying they received a hint from the school that i wa gon na hurt myself and they searched my whole apartment for a gun which i don t have so they obv didn t find one they then took me to the same hospital i wa at just half an hour ago and i spoke to the psychiatrist there again who told the police i am not a threat to myself or someone else so they let me go again during that they took my phone and it ran out of battery and i didn t have access to it for like hour or more during that time two of my classmate messaged me asking why i blocked them and they attacked me not knowing my phone ran out of battery and that s why i didn t answer they then blocked me and i explained to them on instagram what happened and they read it but didn t care apparently the police said they would send a car to the school to talk to the headmaster but idk what came out of it i am guessing my new teacher reported it i am so scared of getting kicked out of school god damn i have an exam today and now i am unsure if i am allowed to go to school again today i am currently on my way to find out and i am on the verge of a panic attack because even if i am allowed my classmate will hate me and attack me and it will be super awkward idk what i tried to do with this post but i just needed to tell someone i am so anxious and hate myself for not shutting up for once thanks for reading | 1 |
in the past year i got raped by a friend i trusted deeply i lost my job to covid my grandmother who i loved more than anyone passed my best friend completely ghosted me found out i have a chronic disease i can never have my own biological child i thought a these thing were happening that i would eventually be able to move past them that maybe they weren t such big deal and i really wa being too sensitive like my parent love to tell me i m an adult and i most definitely can t afford to move out i can barely afford to pay the 00 a month rent my parent charge me i live in the same room i ve lived in since i wa born i just pay for it now with money i wa saving for a car so i don t have a car i don t have my license cause my parent won t let me drive their car so i ve never practiced i don t have a single friend i had two but if you read the beginning yea i ve been homeschooled since the start of high school so i don t have anyone to fall back on except for family my grandmother wa the only one who really sympathized with me and i spent the past two year taking care of her pretty much full time she wa 9 and mentally and physically declining it killed me to watch the woman who raised me wither away i felt like i lost my only purpose when she passed away and i constantly blame myself for not being there when she died she had a heart attack and the coroner told me i couldn t have helped even if i wa right beside her but i m eaten alive with guilt i m still grieving but i need money to live i interviewed and got a job at a place i wanted to work i wa dreading it though because i knew my only way to get there is my parent my dad begrudgingly take me even though i don t know how he expects me to pay his rent if i can t have a job he constantly complains about having to take me there and back which is at the most minute of driving yet he won t aid me in getting a license and is draining my saving from my old job by charging me rent and now my current job is slashing my hour i went from 0 hour a week to what the fuck and they now expect me to do double the work on a single shift for 9 an hour i thought thing were looking up when i first got that job but now it s just shit i m not making any money or progress in life i m dependent on my family and im sick and tired of it i don t feel like an adult at all and frankly i don t want to be why would i want to live the next sixty year to pay tax work and be miserable there s nothing worth pursuing at the cost of prolonging a life of suffering i m traumatized from being raped i ve never told anyone irl and i think i m asexual because of it now thinking about anything intimate make me physically sick i never want to be in a relationship what s the point if i can t have kid anyways nobody would want me all i really want is a friend or two people to talk with and share hobby but i can t drive myself anywhere so i m kinda unable to even attempt to make connection with people and i ve noticed pretty much everyone my age is only interested in hook ups or relationship my old best friend of year completely ghosted me after she got a boyfriend i wanted to know what it wa like to have a boyfriend and my first kiss but it wa forcefully stolen from me i wanted to master an instrument and another language i wanted to keep seeing cool new game and anime come out i wanted to try food from around the world i wanted to see the northern light dance i wanted to see sakura season i wanted to see crystal clear ocean water i wanted to spread my wing and be able to just live normally but it just wasn t meant to be for me well i accidentally turned this into a long rant but basically i m giving up i see no point in living tomorrow will be my last day i made plan with my older sister to go to a movie and dinner so it ll be a good day at least i wa gon na shoot myself but i figured an overdose will be le painful for my parent to come across i m not sure exactly what i believe in but maybe life will be better next time my heart hurt for anyone feeling the same way i do it s hard thank you for reading | 1 |
life feel shitty i m not smart i don t find myself attractive i m so skinny have no friend toxic family not in a relationship i feel lame i m legit going insane have suicidal thought but luckily i feel a bit better cuz i had a convo with my therapist today i feel like nothing is changing my mind | 1 |
i ve been depressed since i wa year old recently got diagnosed with bipolar personality disorder when i already got diagnosed with anorexia binge eating ibs issue anxiety and depression every day i say i want to kill myself and die i want to die today i looked up parent who s child committed suicide i wanted to see their perspective if i were able to do it i have a plan already but ik i won t be able to do it just having the option is fine why is it so hard to want to be alive and live i don t want to tell my therapist or my psychiatrist because i will get sent to the hospital i love gaming and i won t have to sense of relief if i say the truth i might do it after highschool or maybe after i finish university i can t do it my senior year because that s a waste of school year i m in my junior year have you guy ever looked up story of people who wa close to someone who committed suicide | 1 |
i wanted to type so much but it doesn t matter all i want to know is how to end it quickly did anyone have anything they can tell me i don t want to be found i just want to do it and ppl think i got murdered or disappeared i just want to know what pill where to get a gun or what vein to cut please i want to do it asap before i do something stupid like change my mind | 1 |
i m not here for support or anything i m simply here to find an easy painless way to do it i m sick of this place it s not getting better it won t get better only worse it s been this way for year man like literally year when i wa a kid the only thing that made i enjoyed wa video game and now i hate video game simply because i don t find any enjoyment in them smoking weed used to make me feel more numb or at least not like this but i m sick of it i m angry i m angry at my existence and i m angry everybody get so upset when i say i don t wan na endure anymore it s pathetic it s a if the pack animal want to include me in their pack just because i want to exit so somebody please tell me an easy way to leave this place | 1 |
no one care literally no one care even the mental health service they discharged me because i wasn t engaging with them enough and my case is too difficult for them i wa on a waiting list and wasn t even receiving any therapy i tried to appeal their decision but they re not listening and at this point i already accepted the fact that i must unalive myself i don t have any friend family i don t have a job because nobody want me due to my mh problem what s the point of trying i ve been trying to change myself but it seems like my depression is winning and nothing will ever change i know i have to do this i m 9 and i know i m young but i don t have a choice i already decided i will od next week on my 0th birthday my problem started when i wa born and will finally end next week i m scared but i hope i ll never wake up | 1 |
i say that i m feeling depressed and instead of saying anything about it they just start talking about their own day they used to ask me what s going on but not anymore i think it s time to start writing that note | 1 |
i just can t stop think about i see myself doing it in my mind all the time it s so hard i just want to do it rn i have a break soon i think i am gon na do it but i feel so bad for my friend but i just can t do it anymore | 1 |
i m done with life i can t cope year wa enough anyway will 00mg of amitriptyline 00mg of lyrica and 00mg of tramadol kill me if you re reading this i hope you re doing well | 1 |
i dont want to hang myself i don t want my parent to find my body i d rather overdose of tsa antidepressant and other sleeping med i just want to take a whole bunch get in my car and then idk drive south until i get to the border or something go east to louisiana i don t know would my psychiatrist lose their job | 1 |
is it normal of me or like i just see cutting myself a like not a problem i mean it s my body and like i m not hurting anyone it is also making me feel so much better when i m breaking down when i cut myself i feel so much better it really like feel like it s the only solution to when i m feeling like shit and i just don t see a problem with doing it now it s just normalized to me | 1 |
dear who ever find this i m sorry so sorry i did try i know it wa never enough for anything but all i wanted wa to be okay i don t know how to be tho i m not enough and i will never be all i do is make trouble and upset people i m sorry i must of been a big burden on everyone i m deeply sorry for everything i ve done and now everything you have to do now i m gone i just don t know how to fix everything i m deep in this hole how am i meant to climb out when i ve never been taught too i m haunted by everything how am i meant to live my life when i m trapped in the past i just want to be normal and ok why doesn t anyone understand i suppose i haven t helped myself but it just suck suck i wa never worth enough to myself to help myself i honestly dont see myself going anywhere or doing anything worth while i m sorry i know this is so pathetic of me i just dont know what to do i want to live i want to see my sister grow up and my mum and dog i want to fall in love and draw and live on the beach with a balcony i just cant bear this anymore what am i meant to do i m so fucked i m scared and so unsure of everything i m so overwhelmed over everything i ve done this to myself i m so dumb no one can help me now i m sorry i tried in the end ok that count for something right i m just not a good person i realise that i never will be i love everything so much i wish they loved me aswell i tried everything to be happy but honestly they nothing left for me i could write more but what s the point i bet i won t even do it co i m a pussy i bet i ll just delete everything i don t want anyone seeing than clean and realise i m dumb and not kill myself i m a pathetic excuse for a daughter i m sorry all i do is sleep and dream all day this is no life for anymore i know compared to others i have a good life but that just make me feel even more pathetic for hating mine i love you lot goodnight | 1 |
no actually why am i in constant fear and why do we all have to tip toe around everyone all the time | 1 |
yet you just want me alive for your conscious i pray everyday that something put me out and kill me this pain hurt a lot | 1 |
f it s currently am and i m cry like every other night i seriously don t wan na go tomorrow i say this every day i hate it there i hate it so fucking much got so many absents this year i m pretty sure i ve missed a whole month at this point i at least get to see my friend for 0 minute during break but that s pretty much all that s good about school right now so i m thankful for them i can t stand one more second of sitting in class trying to pay attention like a if nothing is wrong with me i also absolutely hate the subject i take they don t teach what i want art so i m stuck with boring as lesson i don t give a shit about we have or more test every fucking week and i m so sick of it how the fuck am i supposed to study when i can t even get out of bed and do basic task this school doesn t give a shit about mental health well in their advertisement they do so but that s all for show i feel really guilty for even feeling this way because there s literally nothing wrong with my life i have a good family good friend in a safe country and am in a financially stable household don t get me wrong i am completely grateful for all these thing yet i m so depressed and nihilistic thinking about my future university work etc make me sick i can t comprehend living past i would ve killed myself long ago if it wasn t for the damage it would ve done to my family i m taking international a level so the workload is pretty brutal high school is a very small part of my life so i just need to be patient and get it over with i just have one more year left but it sound way easier said than done seriously feel like like i m over complicating my situation which is 00 the case because i always do this i m still so young none of this is gon na matter in the future wish i could just take the depression a well a the anxiety that make me overthink out of my brain like a if it wa a physical thing then all these negative thought and the anxiety i feel every second of every day would be gone sorry for the long as rant literally nobody is going to read this | 1 |
i m done with this world and there s no changing my mind on that but i do know that i don t want my death to mean nothing i m a healthy teenage athlete with a good body so if anyone here know how i could go out but keep my organ preserved for people in need of them i need answer there s people that want to live and me who is done with living so i want to help them live their life if i laid in a tub of ice would it help | 1 |
within the last week i ve broken controller one of which i actually stomped on until piece littered the carpet through out my life i ve never broken anything out of anger but now i can t fucking control it i feel le of a man every day when ever i see someone better than me at anything i m constantly angry at work and at home now angry about home stuff when i m at work and angry at work stuff when i m at home i just want to eat a fucking bullet i m a fucking pathetic excuse of a man through and through there s not an ounce of me that is worth anything i am below dirt i should be buried alive i have never had value in any capacity to anyone | 1 |
i did bad on an important test i thought i would do well in i thought wa my best subject i thought i studied well there s more important test on those subject soon if i think i m doing badly on those subject already then the test probably will go worse i feel bad for disappointing everyone i feel bad that i m complaining so much but i want to die so bad it doesn t feel like there s anything else for me if i do bad in school a family friend is doing an art related course they seem to be having fun i like doing art but i m nowhere a good a her or good enough to do a similar course a school friend is doing well in school we share many of the same subject we share the same high expectation but i can t reach them she complains about mark way higher than mine i m resentful but really i m just envious i don t even know what i want to do in the future why should i put in effort for a life i don t want do i want it i think i want it i don t think i have any actual appreciation for the academia just that i want to fulfill the thing i ve always been told to it s dumb and i should just accept my actual ability it s all my fault in the end that i should ve done this or that but i don t want to try anymore i m so tired of trying and failing and then giving up and then doing it all again for whatever reason the enjoyable moment in life don t feel worth it at all or maybe i m just too stuck up to appreciate them enough either way i want to give up i m sorry i m so childish so self centred i m sorry i m wasting everyone s time and money and effort i wonder how much longer i will continue to do so i m sorry that my problem aren t really big enough to be upset over it all feel too pointless | 1 |
i ve been trying to survive for so many year that i hope the universe will someday grant me the opportunity to finally live my life of all people the broken are the more evolved hence i hope that we the suicidal one will also be given a better shot at life the right opportunity and a kind community because i know in the deepest depth of our heart we really truly want to live although not our current version of life but the better and kinder version of life | 1 |
ever since i wa little i wondered what purpose i served in this world i wanted to die because i really did not understand my use today i grew up i thought i had found this answer or that i would find it one day but i do study that don t interest me my family and my friend are far away i just realized that my spouse wa using me from the start and the world is bad i m useless and i don t think i ll ever be used for anything the urge to die is coming to the surface faster than i thought | 1 |
everyone ha a particular reason for existence everyone ha a motivation an incentive to move forward in their life life is undoubtedly an amazing gift bestowed by the creator and death is perhaps the biggest nightmare but to some it s the opposite sometimes everything seems meaningless someone like me who is afraid to take even the smallest step that involves pain actually doesn t deserve to live let alone succeed besides what are the odds that i will succeed the feasibility of succeeding seems to be lessening a every single moment is fading away they won t return back i am not writing these word emotionally i am completely within my sense thing lately have been very tough and i know how doe a precarious life can eventually lead to depression and suicidal thought | 1 |
i feel like giving up again i thought i had overcome this but i guess not back to square one wanting to die but not wanting to kill myself anyone else feel the same | 1 |
i don t feel like myself anymore and i don t think i can be fixed not a day go by where i wish i didn t wake up again i don t know what s wrong and i ve been trying so hard to be better i just can t do it anymore i m so sorry | 1 |
i want to commit suicide a soon a possible but i cant fin a method thats good for me either the method seem too painful or i dont have enough tool for them i wa considering overdosing on paracetamol but it take too long i dont know what to do i would like some method or advice | 1 |
i lost everything i have no friend anymore what even is the point anymore there nothing i wan na live for anymore i just wish my life felt worth living my chest hurt so bad i wish i wa enough for myself | 1 |
i m wondering | 1 |
i ve been waking up and going through the same day repeatedly for a long time i wanted to get better but i wanted this particular person to be by my side while i did it i ve made a plan and set a date i know in my heart it s the right choice i just hope he doesn t blame himself when it happens it wasn t him that make me want to follow through i m just done hurting everyone that come in to my i m done being ashamed of the person i ve become and i m done looking like i don t care i felt every emotion so keenly that it forced me to realize that those very same emotion made me react in a way that i wasn t proud of my reality is shifting and these shadow are the only thing that is my company nothing is ever going to change for me even if i go to therapy even if i get med sooner or later it always return i m done being a prisoner of my own mind idek why i m posting this maybe hoping the right person will see me and talk me out of it it s not that i lack love it s actually the opposite i have so many mental health issue that i m such a burden on my family now my addiction ha returned i m just so done with living like this it s a little ironic my selfishness is the cause of all this selfish to the end i m sorry s i hope you don t blame yourself and if by chance you see this i want you to know i think this is always how it would have ended | 1 |
i feel guilty of everything i feel guilty for telling people my problem and burdening them when they re dealing with worse i feel guilty because when people dump their problem on me i can t handle it anymore it s so selfish of me i hate myself for it so much but when people dump their problem on me i just want to kill myself because i m exhausted i m exhausted of helping people i ve been doing it since i wa 0 and i feel so guilty for being exhausted i cut myself over and over for being so selfish | 1 |
my mind is in such a negative space i m overstimulated but every noise and word someone in my family passed away my period amplifies every emotion i just can t do it anymore my negativity is like a cancer and i d rather not infect anyone with it i want to die daily but i can t although i fantasize about it a lot i cut myself instead in order to stay alive to numb myself from the insanity and madness inside of me i feel unheard i feel burdened by my own existence and i ve been made to feel so bothersome to others i don t know i don t have much hope i m not angry i m maybe sad mostly i m so depressed and misunderstood by everyone because at the end of the day no one care to listen to me they think they re listening but people only have a limited amount of time that they ll let you talk anyway nobody need to be my therapist i hope my life end soon because i am unable to deal with the turmoil inside of me i just can t do it anymore i m desperate i m sorry | 1 |
i m pregnant with my four child third baby daddy he left me about two week ago after assuring me he would be there for me and this child regardless a he knew i didn t want to raise another child alone i can t go thru with a abortion my two other kid are about to be and year of age there are no day care place i would be able to take my baby after it s born i don t have a mother or any sister family to help i will literally have no choice but not to work and eventually evicted from the house i rent i have worked so hard to make a nice life for me and my two kid now after being kicked off my family s property i lived in for 9 year i am native american so it s trust land i wa always told i would be able to live on i have kept the house i rent now for year ab raised my two child i have now for their entire life myself i did everything i could to give them a better life then i ever had and tried to be a mom i never had and parent all around i never had i had a shit childhood like most of u do i wa a product of a sale my mother wa a whore and my donor wa a customer my two brother and i were never wanted or meant to be when my mom disappeared during a custody battle my grandmother made my dad take me in she wanted to take care of me because she thought it wa right my donor could care le rather i lived or died i wasn t wanted and he will tell you that his self my grandma passed away due to alzheimer s when i wa about so my donor had to play dad during this time he used me a his personal punching bag and he allowed my brother who had molested me since the age of four to do the same i ran away at the age of and made a series of bad decision everyone say i m so strong for what i have been thru and over come but i feel if i wasn t so weak and stupid i would not of even gone thru those thing i have been held down and raped by cousin a stranger at gun point the guy i ran away to at lied to abused to the point if i have hearing loss and loose front teeth due to the beating from men shot with a and hit twice by the bullet it s like i wasn t ever supposed to be and life kept trying to make up for it mistake by trying to unalive me multiple time but here the hell i am i love my kid so much and don t want to leave them however i will have no way to support them once this new baby come and i just don t know what to do the people i rent from say they will help me a much a they can but they are elderly and i don t know if they can do this for another year till my baby can go to day care i know i should of got birth control and i use to have it but my lupus make it so i get clot with most birth control and others are dangerous i know i should of used a condom but love is my drug and so i m stupid when it come to men i know this is all my fault and killing myself will leave my kid with a man who doesn t really love them like a father doe just like what happened to me i know this and it kill me but i just don t know what else to do any more i m such a fucking joke as failure and i didn t want my life to be like this i have just been trying to pick up the piece and make the best my while life now i m here and i don t know what to do but end my life i have worked most of my life since the age of so i know my kid father with get money from the state if i pas away so maybe they will help him be a better father and maybe his wife will feel sorry for them and love them too i am too coward to take a gun and do it myself because i m afraid i ll fuck it up i just want someone to do it for me or tell me how to commit suicide by cop or the least painful way to do this i have no one nothing no friend or family just mt kiddos the people i rent from and the day care lady i wa saving to buy a place with this last guy now i ll have to use that to pay for our life once the baby is here till it all run out then i ll have to sell thing till it s just here minimum so we can live in my truck my kid deserve better my son is such a sweet boy and my daughter is so strong and beautiful they deserve so much better then i ll be able to give them soon i use to pay k for birthday party now i ll be lucky to even get them a hostess cup cake when their birthday some around please don t tell me i have so much to live for i know my kid need me and i know this just passed the pain to them but i have no option i m week pregnant a of right now and i can t bare to have a abortion and yes i thought of adoption but everyone i looked up seems so fucking weird and too put together like they are severely epstein people please just tell me how to make this all stop that s all i ask | 1 |
a month of stress and anxiety got the better of me last week i quit my job and came close to just packing it in entirely even now a week later anything even remotely stressful push me back into panic mode i m barely sleeping and a i lay awake my mind turn back to wondering why i m even alive | 1 |
hi i m a 0 year old boy from italy and recently i ve discovered that i suffer from depression i have a bad job which doesn t pay me a lot my girlfriend broke up with me for no whatever reason and every single day i cry and wish for my death i m trying to stay lucid but i have prepared a bag full of pill around 0 of them in case thing still go wrong i m trying to go forward with everything but i m tired of being a good person and treated like shit yesterday i wrote to another girl you know just for company haven t got a message since then still waiting if thing go wrong i m gon na pull the trigger on my life and go finally away | 1 |
so i made a similar post in confession but i guess it belongs here maybe maybe not i don t think anyone really care anyway well when i wa m i ve been tortured by two girl aged around they d wait up for me after school take me to a secluded area and sodomize me when they were finished they would repeatedly kick my private part and punch my stomach when i would cry they said they would not stop until i stopped my cry since then i ve never cried anymore in my life and i wish i could my feeling have faded away and i thought that wa part of becoming an adult i would lay for hour in pain and then come home telling my parent i wa at a friend s this ha been going on for about a year no matter if i took a different route home or tried to run they would do this almost daily i wouldn t tell my parent because they were threatening to kill my dog and family if i did my parent started to distrust me and thought i wa doing bad thing after school since i wouldn t share my friend s name after this i mainly focused on school and avoided most people i ve built up major trust issue and only had a few bad relationship where my trust issue would always ruin thing and while i hate to admit it i hate most woman or my inability to deal with them i had to man up since in my thought this wouldn t happen to a man by some girl my way of being a manly man wa to be strong and not have emotion i have thought a lot about this part of my childhood and always blamed myself for not thinking recently i feel hate towards the person that did this to me one of them died because of drug overdose which to this day make me smile i have made a plan for an accident to happen to this person i have planned out all the detail for this to happen and i wholeheartedly believe she deserves to die right now i am year of age recently been diagnosed with bipolar syndrome and some other anti social disorder i have been depressed for the most part of my life and instead of taking someone s life i ll just end my own thanks for letting me share this i have been embarrassed about it all my life and i ve never felt either manly or adult i could never bring myself to tell anyone | 1 |
i plan to commit suicide soon i ve told my bird already i don t think they understand sadly i ve been fighting depression my whole life pretty much i ve tried many time to commit suicide but a i m afraid of pain i didn t go through it thing worsened massively once i lost someone dear to me because of my own action since then i m haunted be it in dream or in reality constantly by them and the result of what i did whilst under psychosis and incredibly suicidal state i began seeking help soon after they left after i realised what i did and it wa really tough at first but i made it for about a year i wish i never met that person it wa a curse i don t really have friend family yes supportive but it doesn t really feel like much i know they d be devastated by my death and so would my bird but every day is the same for me no matter what i try to differentiate and how better it get it s down to the same stuff haunted by those demon that try and make me fall and do what i shouldn t do i ve been told i m meant for great thing but this is all taking forever i m tired of all of this i m tired of living and constantly fighting i just wish to end it all even though it ll mean committing an unforgivable sin edit for the time being i have discarded the thought thank you all for the message and comment | 1 |
i feel that i m a mess with no salvation or mercy i want to die to end with this suffering i feel that i made terrible thing just for existing i don t want to hurt anyone anymore guilty of my decision who deserve to die please i just want to die until it get worse please forgive me please forgive my existence i don t want to hurt anyone just for being me or taking wrong desicions my purpose is to be happy but i don t deserve that desire please i want to shot me in the head and end with this i just want peace of mind i can t halle with headache i just want to die quick i just want to die i just want to die i apologize for being me and my action in life i can t life anymore i just want to die so badly and be free in peace i don t want to suffer other people i just want to die | 1 |
i ve struggled with suicidal tendency and thought since i wa i m now the thought and action have only worsened with age i can t stop thinking about how the world would be so much better off without me my friend my family my work my partner in every aspect i m contributing nothing and burdening everyone i want so badly to achieve more amp stop being such a burden on everyone but lately it s been seeming damn near impossible to achieve anything worth a damn because i also have an open case against me amp wont pas a background check | 1 |
i ve heard this platitude my whole entire life nearly four year ago a teacher looked straight into my eye and told me the same thing i remember telling myself back then that i wa at rock bottom now i can only laugh at that sentiment rock bottom my as it s like i rolled off a cliff and the end is nowhere in sight | 1 |
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