 After removing himself from the music industry , Townsend cut his trademark hair off and gave up drinking and smoking . Townsend found it " disconcerting " that he had difficulty writing music without drugs , and that he had trouble identifying his purpose as a musician . He spent a year producing albums in absence of writing , but found it <unk> and decided to " pick up the guitar and just write " . This began a period of " self discovery " where he learned " how to create without drugs " . 
