 [ It ] finally reveals a side of Mariah we don 't see that often — her true self . The Mariah we usually see and hear is a glossy one . Psychologists might say her affect is ' off ' — meaning her gestures and facial expressions don 't match her mood . There 's a reason for that , as she explains on ' Side Effects ' , which is the emotional abuse she says she suffered during her marriage to music mogul Tommy Mottola . Mariah , who is usually quite guarded , has alluded to the subject in songs like ' Petals ' , but never has she gone into such detail as she does on ' Side Effects ' , in which she refers to the marriage as a ' private hell that we built ' . Even though it 's been 11 years since they split up , she sings in a lower register that she 's still ' <unk> ' up scared some nights ... dreaming about the violent times ' . Her emotional scars left her ' a little protective ... a little defensive ... a little depressed ' , which makes her ' fake a smile ' as she ' deal [ s ] with the side effects ' . Even though it features Young Jeezy , it sounds like a rock power ballad . 
