 At dinner , Brian attempts to make small talk , but Quagmire does not soften up . Finally , Brian asks Quagmire why he does not like him . Quagmire responds with an angry tirade detailing everything about Brian he finds reprehensible , at the end of which he calls Brian " a big , sad , alcoholic bore " . Brian then returns home , having been crying on the way back . Stewie cheers him up by saying that he only needs to like himself , and then professes his own admiration for Brian by letting him spend the night in his room . 
