 Leslie argues that non @-@ permanent relationships involving physical or emotional intimacy ( or both ) result in long @-@ term psychological pain and that one should therefore only become physically or emotionally intimate with one 's spouse . Eric retells the Greek myth of the suitors of Penelope , in which Penelope , whose husband Ulysses is erroneously believed to be dead , resists a large number of marriage proposals until Ulysses returns and kills the suitors . Eric uses the story to suggest that one should be faithful to one 's future spouse even if it appears that they will never arrive . Eric argues that selfless service is an important part of marriage . He therefore suggests that a good way for a man to make himself ready for his future spouse is to serve his mother and sisters , and that single women should practice serving their fathers and brothers . Leslie writes that she is commonly asked the question " How will I know when a relationship is from God ? " and her response is that people are likelier to recognize that a relationship is from God when they have a " team ... made up of godly people who can keep us accountable to our commitments , pray with us , and provide a refreshing outside perspective . " She indicates that this team should include one 's parents or , if one does not have living Christian parents , other Christians of an older generation . She writes that God offers new beginnings to formerly unchaste or sexually abused individuals . 
