 I have only to lament , that , when the bitterness of death was past , I was inhumanly brought back to life and misery . But a fixed determination is not to be baffled by disappointment ; nor will I allow that to be a frantic attempt , which was one of the calmest acts of reason . In this respect , I am only accountable to myself . Did I care for what is termed reputation , it is by other circumstances that I should be dishonoured . 
