 The Ludys argue that one 's love life should be both guided by and subordinate to one 's relationship with God . They suggest that , " if God 's plan and purpose for you is marriage , then the person you will one day marry ... is alive and wandering the earth " and that this knowledge should encourage people to act in such a way that their future spouses would be pleased . The Ludys contest the definition of " true love " as an emotion ; instead , they define " true love " as the choice to commit to another person no matter what happens . Eric writes that " there are two ways each of us can approach life : spending our days meeting our needs or looking for ways to meet others ' needs . The mystery is that when we spend our life focused on our own needs , we are never satisfied ... but when we pour out our life and focus on how we can serve others ... our deepest needs are met as well ! " 
