 " S & M " was written by Ester Dean in collaboration with the song 's producers , Stargate and Sandy Vee . Dean explained its conception and the sexually suggestive lyrics to Gail Mitchell of Billboard : " The first thing that came to me was ' Come on , come on . ' I 'm thinking , ' I don 't know what in the hell this is about to be . ' And I remembered I 'd seen something that said , ' Sticks and stones may break my bones . ' Then came ' But chains and whips excite me . ' When people have a great track that speaks to me , it feels like it already has a story in it " . Rihanna told Rolling Stone about her interest in bondage and other sadomasochism activities , themes central to " S & M " : " I like to take charge , but I love to be submissive ... being submissive in the bedroom is really fun . You get to be a little lady , to have somebody be macho and in charge . " 
