text: who turns out to have had sex with a dog , like maybe a golden retriever ( unless things turn around and I get to do it at Fox in which case the dog will be a chimp , but that makes sense dramatically ) who can 't keep a secret ( see , it 's a talking dog ) , but it takes this big check from some tabloid where they JUST MAKE THINGS UP ( ! )
  
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  In this story , someone had sex with a dog who can talk .