About 2.5 years ago i went through a lot of very difficult changes. my husband and i split up and he filed for divorce in 6 days no reconciliation- no adultry or anything like that. we were together 5 years he lost his business and started to drink. i lost my husband, i lost our home to him and another small home i lost to foreclosure. I changed jobs within the same system i worked for ( which was a stress and a blessing), I suffered with severe arthritic type pain and memory issues for 6 months then 7 months of urticaria, severe hives / welts all day everyday for 7 months then it finally went slowly away, with angio edema. Took several medications including 2 antidepressants and Prednisone. I gained 30 lbs, never have been fat. I am off meds as of 10 months ago. They never figured it out and i had poor coping skills the whole time i was so physically agitated and emotionally, mentally spent . I quit smoking 5 months ago. I find myself crying almost everyday, some days i cry so hard and have such feelings of dispair and loss. I have acquaintances and i am involved in a counseling type class, recovery for hurts and hangups, i go to church saturday and sunday, otherwise i have no friends and my brothers are all alcoholics that hate me because I dont drink and my father left me as the youngest and only girl over my parents estate. My father passed away 7 years ago and my mom 84 is alive, I have a good relationship with her but she lives out of state. I have a solid job, but financially strapped, both of my cars are completely broke down and will cost a lot to fix, I borrow a friends vehicle. I feel so overwhelmed and scared I feel emotionally out of control i cry everyday. I wake up anxious, i feel loney and hopeless, I am scared, Some days i dont want to leave my room. I make myself o places. I have a 26 year old son who loves me and is very good to me he is my only friend, My daughter is not very nice, I have fears of loss, abandonment , anxiety, i cry, i feel all alone, today i didn t go to work today, that happens once in a while like once a month, I usually just fall apart and go to work anyway and maintain. Sometimes i cry relly hard when I get in the car on my way home, I dont want to go home cause i am afraid to feel so all alone..I need relief from my grief, fear, and sadness. I was always able to get through things in my life before and i feel like this is beating me , not me beating it. I am 52 and menopausal to boot. i feel out of control inside and want to feel reasonably normal again , im scared
Degree understand your concerns went through your details. I suggest you not to worry much. Basic things first. We all come across so many experiences about our life. Some less and some more traumatic. We experience in different ways according to circumstances and age and development. Trauma and emotions about bereavement of a loved one may not be the same for a 5 yr old, 10 yr old, 15, 25, 35, 45 etc. etc. The difference in emotional attributes are called development. Secondly we gain positive lessons from these experiences. So far so good. The emotions run high when we are at the middle age. Because we think that we are matured. Actually we are not. We can't even understand ourselves. At your age, we start seeing things happened earlier critically. Unfortunately, we all see negative things and batter over them. Just go back. Count all positive things happened in your life from age 1. You will be amazed to see, those events shall be at least 100ws of pages. Instead of using these, we start lamenting handful of negative experiences. Funny, huh. Take my word for it. You are 52. Enough is enough. Understand whatever happened was for your benefit. Everything benefited you positively. Live life today. Forget yesterday and tomorrow. Please post a direct question to me in this website. Make sure that you include every minute details possible. I shall prescribe some psychotherapy techniques which should help you cure your condition further. Hope this answers your query. Available for further clarifications. Good luck.