I have a constantly fear. I dont feel safe, not at home, not outside, but still I have friends and a normal life. Its just that sometimes i dont want to go out because i am to afraid of walking home again all by myself. When I am home alone, i feel really bad. I always think that someone is watching me and I dont feel that I am alone, even if the house is totally empty. When I am in the shower, i am afraid of closing my eyes because I alway feel that someone will be there outside the shower. I cant walk up our stair, because i always feel that someone is chasing me. No one knows about this, so its kind of hard to feel alone all the time.
There is an inner conflict in your emotions. If you do not resolve this conflict, it will eventually start bothering your mental balance. We all go through a stage when we feel immensely lonely and scared. It looks like you have been staying alone and that's making your thoughts irrational. I would suggest you to start living with someone, like a roommate or a sibling. This will help you in feeling less lonely. If that doesn't work out either, you should try to distract yourself by continuing with your hobbies. Try to deviate all your negative feelings by doing something productive.