I have been told my daughter - in - law probably suffers from obsessive possessive disorder - we often feel very uncomfortable in her company as she becomes very tetchy when for example her coat is touched, even just to hand it to her in a sociable manner. Our son also rows with her telling her not to be stupid about where objects are put down, but she wont let up nagging him over such issues.
Degree understand your concerns went through your details. I suggest you not to worry much. Please read the literature about OCD and do not conclude and diagnose self. The issue you are talking about is between husband and wife. They both are two different personalities compelled to share a house and everything inside it. Differences naturally persists. Some mannerisms may not be tolerated or habits seldom goes. You should understand this. If still under doubt, you may request your daughter-in-law to take a psychometric test to determine ADHD. So many online tests are available. Or else you can approach a clinical psychologist. I sincerely think that is not the matter. God bless them. If you require more of my help in this aspect, Please post a direct question to me in this website. Make sure that you include every minute details possible. I shall prescribe some psychotherapy techniques which should help you cure your condition further. Hope this answers your query. Available for further clarifications. Good luck.