My mother in law has put her husband in a nursing home and he is well but she how ever is displaying narcissistic behavior,she continues to tell him he is forgetful and show him no attention and help but he is very quiet and gentle but she show aggression and selfishness shopping all day and is obsessed with a x priest doing up his home and decorating and giving him money and paying his bill what is one to do ?how can one explain this to a doctor ? she is not aware that this is not normal.
This is the irony, the person himself/herself does not have much insight to find out his weakness and wrong behavior. This type of person usually justify their behavior due to some reason. This is definitely undesired behavior by her, and she also has unhealthy way of coping (escaping from home in the name of shopping daily, taking help of a priest but herself avoiding her desired role at home). In this case it may be due to continuous strain of caregiver burden or this may be her personality trait.  The best way is to record the conversation secretly and then late her review her behavior herself by playing the recorded file. She may be overburdened and offering a helping hand may help her.