ANNOUNCEMENTS
The Journal is authorized to
announce the following as can
didates fortheo ffices mention
ed, subject to the Democratic
primary to be held in August.
For Shreiff—
W. C. EDWARDS.
E. F. DeCAMP
NOAH F. HARRIS
For Circuit Clerk.—
W. R. WESTBROOK
tor County Clerk.—
FRENCH M. PEARCE
HOMER FOX
For Tax Assessor—
OSCAR T. JONES
For Tax Collector—
O. O. WRIGHT
For City Marshal—
JAMES F. MORGAN
MR. JINKS WAS DISCOuRAGLu
With All Hi* Hard Work on ‘■Flivver,”
All He Could Do Wa* Mak*
the Horn Squawk.
Mr. Jinks has been tJie proud pos
sessor of a brand-new flivver for nearly
three weeks, and his precious treasure
Is never far from his thoughts. Every
moment he can spare is devoted to pol
ishing its glossy cout or tinkering with
Its vitals in the effort to discover the
cause of its occasional spells of mulish
balkiness.
The other night—about two o’clock
—Mrs. Jinks was awakened by terrific j
yowls emitted by the family cat. How
the cat was a peaceful pussy and not
at all given to nocturnal vocal demon
strations. Imagine Mrs. Jinks’ aston
ishment when she arose and discov
ered her husband sitting on the edge
of the bed, vigorously twisting the cat's
tail round and round.
“John," she protested, rescuing her
pet with some difficulty, “what on
earth are you doing?"
Mr. Jinks was evidently in a som
nambulistic state, for lie scratched his
head and responded sleepily:
“Sh* won’t go, honey; sh' simply
won’t go. I’ve cranked an’ cranked an’
th* horn squawks, an’ thash all. Guesh
’ll have t’ sen' 'er up fer repairs. Some
thin’ mush be matter wizzer magneto.
’Sdarn shame, an’ ain't paid fer yet,
even!”—From Nuggets.
BUCIC JONES IS IN TOWN
WMW:
Pains
Were
Read how Mrs. Albert
Gregory, of R. F. D. No.
1, Bluford, III., got rid of
her ills. ^'During ... I
was awfully weak . . .
My pains were terrific. I
thought 1 would die. The
beanng-down pains were
actually so severe 1 could
not stand the pressure of
my hands on the lower
part of my stomach . . .
I simply felt as if life was
for but a short time. My
husband was worried. ..
One evening, while read
ing the Birthday Alma
nac, he came across a
case similar to mine, and
went straight lor some
Cardui for me to try.
TAKE
CARDUI
The Woman's Tonic
"1 took it faithfully and
the results were immedi
ate,” adds Mrs. Gregory.
“I continued to get bet
ter. all my ills left me,
and I went thiough . . .
with no further trohble.
My baby was fat and
strong, and myself—thank
God—am once more hale
and hearty, can walk
miles, do my work,
though 44 years old, feel
like a new person. All 1
owe to Cardui.” For
many years Cardui has
been found helpful la
building' up the system
when run down by dis
orders peculiar to women,
Take
Cardui
J.e
IQQOOOOOOOOCOOOOOaSOCO^OOO
jj MR. BOWSER S §
RULES 8
0 He Finds That Mrs. Bow- ^
y ser Has Them, Too! 8
By M. QUAD. X
OCXXXXXXXXXXXXXSOOOOOOOOOO^)
(©, 1921. by McClure Newspaper Syndicate )
Mr. Bowser drew a manuscript from
his pocket and road for awhile. When
he had finished reading, he said :
“Mrs. Bowser, I have something here
with which you will agree, i want a
mutual understanding,”
“I think we can come to one,” re
plied Mrs. Bowser.
“That is good of you, as a beginning.
You do not always agree with me. hut
1 think you will in this ease, it will
strike you as It .struck me, as some
liing for our great benefit. Let me '
ell you that tiiis house lias boon run
in a slam-bang way in the lust three
years.”
“I am aware of that,” was the an
swer.
“There has been no head to the j
house," continued Mr. Bowser. "Some
times I have run it and sometimes you
have, and sometimes tlie cook or the
cat. We have probably lost thousands
of dollars by not having a program or
a set of rules to guide us. I have com
piled here a set of rules. I have given
lhem deep thought, Imt I think 1 have
them just right, now.”
"That is what we have long needed,” !
acquiesced Mrs. Bowser. “We have
slowly been tumbling over each other. ;
The cm lias sometimes been in her
place and sometimes not. The cook
has sometimes been in her place and
sometimes not. The cook lias sometimes
bossed tin* whole thing, and sometimes
she lms let everything go. If you have
solved tlie problem I shall be very glad
to know it."
“Well, here are the rules," said Mr.
Bowser, after a long look at her to see
if she was sincere.
“One. We get up at seven o'clock
a. i. That is, you do. as you must see
about breakfast. 1 lay and sleep until
a quarter to eight. Y'ou are to get out
of lied softly, so as to not waken me.
"Two.—The girl must have my meal
all ready, so as not to detain :ne.
While I'm eating It, you must not tell
me that this thing or that thing is
wanted in the house and thus depress
my spirits. Neither must you ask me
for money.
“Three.—The first thing when I am
gone, you must tidy up the house. If
you find my cigar stubs lying around,
you must pick them up. If, in my
haste to get out of bed, 1 upset my
chair and leave It thus, you must pick
it up and place it where it belongs.
Your work must he done neatly. There
must be no feathers or apple cores left
lying around.
"Four.—When you have your work
done up you can phone your orders to
the grocer and the butcher. It will be
well for you to order in a command
ing voice, and thus give them to under
stand that you are not to be trifled
with. Say to the butcher that you
want two pounds of round steak, and
that it must be as gentle and tender
ns the best of porterhouse. Tell him
you w ill cease to trade with him if it
is not. If you order meat to roast, tell
him that if he sends you bull meat, It
will provoke me to do some desper
ate act. In ordering of the grocer,
r
TTTT
1
"Well, Here Are the Rules."
don't order over two pounds of any
thing. He can't get off any cold stor
age stuff on you If you do that.
••Five —Always he in the hall to wel
come me when I come home at night.
You can paw me over and imprint a
kisw if you wish, but do it delicately.
If I have a package under my arm
don’t be curious about it, for Samuel J.
Bowser knows his business.
"Six.—Have my dinner ready for me.
Have my favorite dishes. Spare your
self no trouble to please me. Do hot
talk too much at the table. If there Is
any talking to do, let me do it and you
listen.
“Seven.—After dinner, we sit and
converse. Don’t interrupt me when I
am tal' ing about serious things. It’s
always for the wife to listen, instead
of talking.
“Eight.-- It is not for me to explain
to you why I go out for an evening.
No husband is morally or legally bound
to do so. He simply decides to go out
and out he goes, and that settles If.
"Nine.- If I fall asleep during the
evening you are to keep very quiet, so
as not to disturb me, and if the eat
begins to yowl, you must throw a book
or something at her. When the clock
strikes ten. you must give me a little
•hake, and as I go upstairs, you must
turn out the lights and *ee Umt >1
the doors and windows are made
against burglars."
“That is all, Mrs. Bowser, except
that you must practice the most rigid
economy. You must not get it into
your head that you wnpt this and that,
but leave it to me. if 1 see that you
are in want of this or that, I will speak
of it and probably hand you the money
to get it. Just a wurd further: I»o not
dispute me, but agree with what I say.
That is all, Mrs. Bowser, and you may
sign your name to the paper as I have
done. It Is a semi-legal agreement,
and should you break it, It would he ■
good grounds for me to get a divorce
on."
Mrs. Bowser made no move to take
the paper and sign it, but after a mo
ment she said:
"We will wait n minute or two, Mr.
Bowser. It nmy surprise you to know
that I have been thinking of tins very
thing. Y'ou are right in saying that our
house hasn’t been run ns it should lie. j
In the last few days I have also been
preparing certain rules. I have com
mitted them to memory and can give
them to you without a manuscript.
Please listen to them.
“One.—Mr. Bowser gets up when I
do in the morning, or he gets his hair
pulled. Any complaints of ids that he .
r
—
“Must Throw a Book or Something at
Her.”
can’t find his socks will be rewarded
by my throwing his shoes out of the
window.
“Two.—Mr. Bowser will have no bet
ter breakfast than the rest of us. He
can talk or keep still, just as he
pleases.
“Three.—When Mr. Bowser leaves or
comes home, there will be no kissing or ;
display of tender emotions. He cpn
kiss himself, if he wants to be kissed.
“Four.—During the winter, when Mr.
Bowser comes home of an evening, he
will find the snow-shovel at tlie door.
He will seize It with avidity and clean
the steps and the walks before he en
ters the house.
“Five.—When Mrs. Bowser tele
phones her order to the grocer and
butcher, she si>enks very gently : she i
does not purpose to scare or rob any
body. The grocer and butcher are do
ing as well as they can.
“Six.—If Mr. Bowser does not like
his roast beef he can try a boarding
house.
“S«*en.—During the evening Mrs.
Bowser will converse as much as she
wants to. If she does not agree with
Mr. Bowser, she will say so right from
the shoulder, and take all the chances
of life and death.
“Eight.—If Mr. Bowser falls asleep
iind the cat yowls, the cat will not be
punished for it. She has got Just as
good right to yowl as Mr. Bowser has
to fall asleep.
“These are my rules. Mr. Bowser,
and I hope you will help me to carry
them ont. We want no more slam
bang around this bouse. I will get the
paper ready and you can sign it.
Mr. Bowser had been standing and
looking at her, with his face growing
red and pale by turns. He now tried
to say something. He could fling his
arms about, but no words would come.
After trying hard for a couple of min
utes, he turned away, and went forth
from his home a surprised and strick
en man. He did not leave the front
steps, but sat there with the fall chill
In the air. and the chilly moon looking
down on him. and whether he went In
and sought his bed, two or four hours
Inter, makes no difference, lie had got
through with rules.
Electric Sugar Mill.
An American company is building
at La Limit, Honduras, the most up-to
date sugar mill in Central America.
It will be run by electricity, its pow
er being supplied by a LOOkkllnwatt
turbo-generator set. with an auxiliary
set of kilowatts for lighting and j
general purposes.
The most remarkable point about .
this mill is that all of the fuel re
quired for making the electricity will
be furnished by the waste of the i
sugnr plant-—cane fodder and scraps. ;
The same American company is sup- j
plying the machinery, and the first j
cane will be crushed in October.
Former Slave Dies, Aged 128.
Moses Walker, who claimed to be one
hundred and twenty eight years old,
is dead at Moultrie, Ga. He often |
stated lie came to this country in ,
1S00 in a slave slitp with his father ;
and mother. Walker did not have any
rules for longevity, except to suppose I
that a fondness for good corn whisky
might have helped.
Silver Windpipe for Horse.
The city of Worcester, Mass., has a
valuable horse in its street depart
ment. The other day a veterinary
surgeon inserted a silver windpipe to
, enable the aniiual to breathe more
; freely.
f3»+j\/*~***A/0~***A/*
I
\Ye are Prenared to Save You
Money on Every Purchase of
SEED OATS, SEED POTATOES
FLOUR, SUGAR, COFFEE
These Have Been Advancing, But You Can
Still Buy Them Cheaper Here
CLOTHING PRICES ARE DOWN
During the last few weeks Clothing prices have dropped a
good deal. We can save you money on CLOT H1NG and SHOES
just the seme as on FLOUR and other groceries.
You can save $2.50 to $5 on a MAN S SUIT and $1 to $2.50
on a BOY’S SUIT. In addition to this money saving, we are giving
ABSOLUTELY FREE a full size watch, guaranteed for one year,
to each person buying a full suit of clothes.
This Offer is Good Only During March and April
Come and See Us
We save you money
iiiiHiiiii:
Barnett’s Bargain Annex
C. A. BUCHAN\N, MANAGER
Batesville, Arkansas
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♦
River’s End
A FIRST NATIONAL SPECIAL AIIRACTION
James Oliver Curwood’s Story of the
Great Frozen Northland, Made into
a wonderful picture by Marshal Neilan
mull
uni
In the great white mountains at the edge of civil
ization there are no traditions, and only men of nerve
succeed. This picture is a vivid and thrilling portrayal
of life among the snow-capped mountains of the Cana
dian Northwest.
We guarantee our patrons one of the finest and
most fascinating pictures ever shown in this theatre.
Made by Marshal Neilan, the Man Who Made “BatA to God's
Country“/n Old Jentuckyand “Dintv**
FRIDAY, MARCH 17
ROYAL THEATRE
Admission 15 and 30 Cents
;k!
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