City Directory.
MUNICIPAL OKKICKK8
Mayor, J. H. Hoiderby,
Recorder, E. \V. Madness,
Marshal, Walter Pascoe,
Treasurer, .1. T. Tharp,
Aldermen:- B. K. Busby, B. B. Ad
ams. G. O. Madness, C. M. Edwards
and W. C. Mims.
Council meets lirst Monday night in
each month.
CHUKCUKs
Methodist church, services at 11, a.
m and 7:30 p. in. the second and fourth
Sundays in each month. Rev. C. II.
■Newman, pastor.
Baptist church, services at 3 p. m. i
Saturday before third Sunday, and 11
a. m. third Sunday in each month.
Rev. \V. P. Jackson, pastor.
Christian church, services first and
third Sundays in each month at 11 a
in. and 7:30 p. m. Rev. .1. II. McDon
iel, Pastor.
KRATKHNII IKS
Pannell.v Chapter R. A. M. meets
third Saturday night. 1. C. Nuckolls,
E. H. P.: T. Ii. Pearing, Sec.
Newark Lodge F. & A. M. No. 248
meets second Saturday night. .1. I.
Sturdivant, W. M.: J. T. Tharp, Sec.
Newark Encampment 1. O. <). F. 42
meets second and fourth Wednesday
nights. G. A. Ashley, C. 1’: G. L. Fink
Scribe.
Newark Lodge I. O. O. F. No. 2f*3
meets tlie tirst and third Wednesday
nights (). (). Moss. N. G.; G. L. Fink
Secretary.
Newark Grove W. No. 807 meets
first and third Tuesday nights. Mrs.
C. M. Edwards, Guardian; Miss Sa!lie
Barksdale, < ’lerk.
Newark Carup W.O.W. No. 288 meets
second and fourth Tuesday nights in
each month. W. C. Mims, C. C.;
N. A. Speed, Clerk.
Banner Rebekah Lodge No. l.‘>4
meets every Saturday afternoon at 3
o’clock. Mrs. J. T. Miller, N. G.; Miss
Lucy Law ton, secretary.
Independence Lodge No. 237!* K.-&
L. of II. meets first and tnird Monday
niglits in each month. O. F. Craig.
Protector: Zed Griffith, Secretary.
A. A. HENDERSON
"Notary Public
Makjes a specialty of
Writing . *nd Correcting Deeds.
Oltice with II. E. Hawthorne
V. L Pascoe L. Ci Poe
Phone No. IC-f Phone No. 24
PASCOE & POE
Physicians and Surgeons
Office with Newark Drug Company,
Front Street. Phone No IT
Office hours8 to 12 a. in., and 1 to5 p. in.
'/ Wo i romptlv obtain I s and Foreign 7
< —a a—HBHW •
>
site;. ii or ; i < 10 tt i o> «
__ .....on pnteiiiauiUvY. li , ■!
8^,;S''78Afie-*W8KS "ii'd
Talk Is Cheap
Through a well conduct
ed Telephone service. \
Not only that, hut it
saves and makes you
money. It is probably
the greatest of modern
conveniences, and it’s
cost is so low that any
body can afford it
Less Than 5c a Day
You Ought To 1 lave ()ne
THE NEWARK
Telephone Exchange,
VV. C. Mims. Pres. & Gen. Mgr.
To Cure a Cut, Sore or Wound
apply Ramon’s Nerve & ISoneOil promply It is
antiseptic—stops the paiti and cause#healing by
first inten lion.L'ioa tut • uey back if not satisfied
80NO OF BALDHEADED MAH,
Great Cm wir> classic head \\ h* bara,
A tul likewise Socrates';
IVtor hikJ I’alll m re forced t‘> wear
Tl In capillar) fleecer;
Shakespeare, earth's literary king.
And Johnson, Pope and Gibbon,
Being short of hirsute covering
Wore wigs tied deft with ribbon.
But Achom, J, Iscariot,
Anunias (of truth chary).
Herod, the I’hurlsees 1 wot.
All sported caputs hairy;
Later came Danton. Kobespierre,
And Marat, b!ood\ trio;
Out Faw kes and Jeffries. Glencoe Stair,
Thick-thatched like fiddling Nero.
Nor wli! the eye, in sooth, oft see
Bald Hottentot or Arab.
Kamchatkan, aborlginee,
Kurd or man-eating Carib;
Nay. nay. but of the human breed
The greater in earth's story.
Are those who lead in thought and deed
Crowned not with hair, but glory!
— Monroe Guy Carieton. in N. V. Sun.
THE NOSE
HOLDERS
By T. P. MORGAN
THIRTY-ONE" saints in bags. A suf
fering sinner with a huge spring
clothes-pin snapped onto each ear. one
on his nose, another on his lower lip,
several hanging from his fingers, and
twice as many more without places to
hang on.
The victim of the clothes-pin was the
inventive clerk of the Duffy house. The
saints in bags were the 31 most prom
inent members of Elder Blowhorn's fol
low in g.
Besides being clad in bags, the saints
were adorned by numerous abrasions
and bruises, caused by the events that
followed the practical application of the
clerk’s little invention for causing in
voluntary snoring.
After prolonged and unique reasoning,
the clerk proved to his own satisfaction
that snoring was greatly conducive to
the preservation of health. His theory
was simple enough, too. From careful
observation, he had learned that the
more robust the person, the more lusty
and resonant was his snore. Weak per
sons snored in a weak, coy way, as if
they had not learned to play on their
nose harps very well. But the stalwart
ones, strong of wind and sturdy of torso,
would utter a few preliminary diapason
notes, run up and down the scale a
couple of times, and then, striking the
proper key. dash into the popular tune
of “1 am dreaming of thee. Nora,
darling."
Following out this line of reasoning,
the clerk very soon reached the con
clusion that, in order for weak ones to
become healthier, they must snore
more. If they would not snore, they
must be made to.
Ere long, the clerk's little invention
for the promotion of involuntary snor
ing was complete. It was modeled alter
and very much resembled the pinching
variety of clothes-pin, which, when it
seizes anything, hangs on with the
tenacity of a snapping-turtle.
All that is necessary to make a sleep
er snore is to cause him to breathe
through his mouth. The idea was that,
when one of these nose holders was
snapped on the victim's bill, he would
either breathe through his mouth or
choke. And. if he breathed through his
facia! gash, he would snore, and the util
ity of the clerk’s little invention would
be demonstrated.
S ; pleased was the clerk with his idea
that he const ructed nearly half a bushel
nf hfil/loru Kofni'n ho iwulo a ti'lol <->f
UK CLASPED THE COMPRESSORS
ON THE BILLS OP THE SAINTS.
the Invention except upon his own nose,
where it worked to his intense satisfac
tion, and nearly pinched his beak off
at the same time.
Conceiving the idea ; the ordinary
springs were too modest in assctn.ng
themselves, he substituted springs so
strong that it took pronounced pressure
upon the opposite ends of the holder to
open them for the reception of the wait
ing proboscis.
For several days before the comple
tion of the invention, the clerk had had
his mental vision fixed on the subjects
for a wholesale experiment. These were
several of the most prominent followers
of Elder Blowhorn and the doctrines by
him taught at the camp, just out of
town.
By some means, the clerk had learned
that, owing to the limited number of
sleeping-tents, and the unexpected ar
rival of a large delegation of believers
from other localities, a number of the
brethren were obliged to pa.su the night
on cots In the large audience tent In
which nervines were held in the day
time. It was upon the noses of this col
lection of saints the clerk resolved to
experiment.
Not that they lacked in health or mus
cularity. for most of them looked as it
they had a decided hankering after the
flesh-pots of Egypt; but because he
wanted to ascertain the different effects
upon different individuals and noses,
so that the tension of the springs might
be increased or diminished to suit all
requirements.
Several different days had been set
for the end of the world, and they had
awaited its coming with all the anxiet}
felt by spectators around a sick horse
But as each date had failed to witness
ihe interesting event, they grew appre
hensive that it might walk ir. upon them
at any time.
All day long their ascension robes
hung on handy nails, and at night thej
slept, in them.
In order that the rush of wind, con
sequent upon so many people going uj
at once, might not blow their robes 14
over their heads, the garments were
sewed together at the bottom, makir.g
of each a long bag with sleeves in it.
When the clerk, with his half-bushel
or so of nasal-pinchers, arrived at tht
big tent, just before midnight, he fount
31 saints sleeping within, each in his
ascension hag. and with his face up
turned to the dim light of the solitarj
lantern. The inventor fairly hugged
himself with delight at the flattering
prospects of a successful wholesale ex
periment.
As noiselessly as a spook, he tiptoed
from cot to cot. clasping the compressors
on the bills of the saints.
He hau hardly retired to the pulpit
to watch the effects of the experiment
before the inventions began to get ir
their particularly fine work. Tht
mouths of the sleepers flew open in one
grand snore. A moment later, the
pinching of his beak aroused one of the
more wakeful sleepers, and finding his
nose in the grasp of some iniaginar>
demon, he sprang up in affright
tumbled down, and knocked #ver and
extinguished the lantern.
The rumpus aroused the others, who
feeling their beaks in the clutches ol
something, and thinking that at last the
long expected occasion had arrived and
Satan was already endeavoring to drag
them off. leaped up with loud cries, ami
endeavored to rush out where they could
go straight up without having to cul
holes in the tent.
In a moment they were all down, and
saints and cots were tangled in inex
tricable confusion. Then, as it dawned
upon each that the object upon his bill
was a large clothes-pin, he forgot his
desire to ascend in his thirst for re
wr
3AINTS AND DOTS WERE TANGLEE
IN INEXTRICABLE CONFUSION.
venge. The sewed-up bottoms of theii
robes prevented their locomotion, and
all they could do was to scramble to
their feet and tumble down again, fight
ing all the time like demons in bags.
Each thought himself the victim of a
joke upon the part of his neighbor, and
was fully determined to get even for the
unseemly meddling with his sacred
probobscis.
j lightened at the unexpected work
ii ..s of his inventions, the clerk endeav
or to escape in the darkness, but only
su (led in getting into the very midst
of melee, where he speedily found
registered
Mens Walkover Shoes
Sold Only By
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I rmmBHT.
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AVegetable Preparationfor As
similating the Food andRegula
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Infants /Children
Promotes Digestion.CheerfuP
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>tOT>IAIICOTIC.
/bos* arotjijysMvaprraoR
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Alb monlhs bid
J5 Doses - r nts
EXACT COPY OF WRAPPER.
CASTOR
For Infants and Chili
The Kind You t['
Always Bought
Bears the
Signature
of
In
Use
for Over
Thirty Years
CASTORIA
TMS •(ktauw WCW *o«« err*.
CASH 4
OR ~
CREDIT.
Cata
logue
FREE.
PRICE
$33
It will pay you
to send for our Cata
logue No. 0, quoting
prices on Buggies*.
We sell direct from
Harness, etc.
our Factory to Consumers at
Factory Prices. This guaranteed.
Buggy only $33.50; Cash or Easy
iMonthly Payments. We trust
t honest people located in all parts
of tfce world.
fttTWrite for Free Catalogue.
CENTURY WF’C CO.
MENTION THIS PAPER.
dep't 937, East St. Louis, 1IL
Just tell ’em that yoir saw itjin The Jou;
L»
lolled on scandal
himself beaten a- *
ously.
Two saints, finding that he had not
on a robe, held him fast and shouted to
the rest, who speedily suspended hos
tilities. The lantern was relighted, and
in spite of the struggles and remon
strances of the inventor he was held by
two brothers, while others snapped the
nose holders onto his ears, nose, lips
and fingers.
A rope was produced, and. to the
clerk's terrified eyes, it seemed as if
they were about tohanghiin. Strength
ened by fear, he jerked away from the
saints who held him. rushed against and
over two of the brethren, and burst
headlong through the side of the tent,
wholly ignoring the opening provided
for egress.
As well as they could, the ascension
ists hopped and tumbled outside and
saw the clerk disappearing with the
speed of a quarter-horse and shedding
nose pins at every jump.
Presently he went out of sight in the
moonlight, in the direction of the Duffy
house, and the 31 bagged saints returned
to their cots to await the end of the
world.—Good Literature.
FLAGS GUARD PROPERTY.
-_
Reading Woman Imitates Barbara
Frletchie and Wins Over
Supervisors.
Reading, Pa.—Mrs. Marie Wagon
horst, of Longswamp, proved herself
Berks county’s Barbara Frietchie.
"Shoot, if you must, this old gray
head, hut the man who takes one of
the flags away from the front of my
property will run up against a bunch
of trouble.”
So, in effect, if not in so many
words, said Mrs. Wagonhorst when
Supervisor Fegley attempted to open
a gutter in front of her dwelling.
No sooner had the official staked out
a line for a new gutter in front of the
building than she secured seven
American Hags and stuck them in the
ground along the line.
She then procured a shotgun and
she took up a position on her porch
and dared the supervisor and his as
sistants to go ahead with their work.
After a long parley they gathered to
gether the implements of their trade
and decamped with more haste than
grace.
Though the field of battle had been
clear' l Mr-. Wagonhorst remained on
guard for me time.
All classes and sizes of photo work
done. Views and groups made, any
where in tlie country. Flash light,
work done day or night. Crayon and
pastel portraits in all the different,
sizes and grades and at much lower
prices than agents charge. 1 also
make medallions and handle portrait
t tames. It will pay you to call on me.
3. A. MOORE
ATTORNEY - AT - LAW.
and Notary Public,
Land i it.les. administ rat ion. damage
eases and collections a specialty. Will
practice in all courts of the state.
Office in Post Otlice Building,
newauk, - Arkansas.
Hi.vsiciiin and Surgeon,
Ami Dealer in Drugs, Stationery,
Toilet Articles, etc.
Magness, . . Arkansas.
BOOT AM) SHOE SHOP
For Legal Advice.
It. was a huge task, to under
take the cine of such a. leu I erttys
<>f kidney disease, as that of C.
I<\ Collier, of Cherokee, la., hut
Electric Hitters did it. He
writes: “My kidneys were so far
gone, 1 could not 'it on a chair
without a cushion; and suffered
from dreadful backache, Imad
tclie, and depression. In Elec
tric Hitters, however, I found a
cure, and by them was restored
to perfect health. I recommend
this great tonic medicine to all
wit ft weak kidneys, liver or stom
ach-” Guaranteed by .1.1. Sturd
ivant. druggist, price oOc.
Call at
QUALLS
Huge Task.