REALLY NOT HIS LINE
“TERROR" SATISFIED HE WA8 IN
WRONG BUSINESS.
Of Course He Had Killed Eleven Men
and Never Been Licked, but at
That He Had Mlataken
•j jf ( Hla Vocation. j
When we opened the old "Four X"
In Nevada, It was no time at all be
fore a lively town was founded and
hundreds of people came pouring In.
In those days every community had
Its terror. He was supposed to be
able to outdrink, outyell, outshoot and
outfight everything on legs in his ju
risdiction. Sometimes he was a free
lance and again he was employed as
a sort of policeman. We wanted a
man to protect company property and
one day a giant of a chap weighing
205 pounds and six feet tall applied for
the place.
"Are you a fighter?” was the first
question asked of him.
"I am,” replied he. 'T’ve had 29
fights in seven weeks.’’
“Afraid of anything mortal?”
“Nothing mortal or Immortal."
“Shoot both handed?” —^
“I do.” *■**»'
“Use the bowle knife?”
“Perfectly at home with It, sir.”
“How many men have you killed
this last year?”
"Well, this has been an off year
with me, as I was sick In bed for six
weeks and so I haven’t got but
’leven.”
“Suppose, now, that a terror from
some other camp should come over
here to clean you out? Have you ever
met any other terror and downed him
—a genuine terror, from the headwa
ters of Fighting creek?”
“I can’t say that I ever have, sir—
not a regular terror, sir.”
“Then you can’t tell how you would
act?”
wny, i snouia proDaDiy ngni nim.
“Put you can’t say for sure. How
ever, come back at four o’clock this
afternoon.”
We sent over to Cedar Flats, five
miles away, for their terror. We knew
him to be the genuine stuff, and when
he arrived we posted him as to what
was wanted. At four o’clock when our
alleged terror returned to the shaft,
the Cedar Flats terror suddenly
waltzed out on him with a hair-ralBing
whoop and called out:
"Whar's the bloody, bloomin’ hyena
who has been passing hisseif off
around here as a fighter? Whoop!
Maugh, Ugh! Somebody p’int him out
to me and then tie my hands and legs
while I bite his ears off!”
Our alleged terror turned pale and
looked nervous and the Cedar Flats
man pranced around cracking his
Jieglj^tojethe^andshouUngi^^^^
"Whoop! Put him out! Let him
stand before me! Tie me all up in
knots, head me up in that bar’l, and
then I’ll lick him or go over the cliff!
Great snakes, but won’t somebody
show me the fellow who says—”
I pointed to our terror and the Ce
dar Flats man let out a scream and
rushed for him. The chap who had
only killed ’leven men Just fell right
down in a heap, and it was five min
utes before we could bring him to.
He was whiter than ffour, and limpsy
as a rag, and it was all of half an hour
before he could walk away.
"How do you account for it?" I
asked him as he was ready to go.
“I must have gone in the wrong busi
ness,” he gloomily replied.
“How do you mean?”
"I ought to have been a preacher.”
—Chicago Daily News.
Drowning Season Here.
Don’t rock the boat! It is not mere
ly a foolish sort of joke to do it; it
is very frequently a murderous or
suicidal joke. If you cannot swim do
not wade out where the water is up
to your chin. If you do, you may sud
denly step into a hole that lifts the
water above your mouth and nose,
and when that happens the chances
are large that it will be your funeral
the next day or as soon as your re
mains can be found. Don’t dive from
a high place without being sure the
water Is not so shallow as to result
in your head striking bottom. Don’t
crowd five people into a boat made for
three, or three people Into a boat
made for two. Don’t play foolish
pranks such as pushing a boy who
cannot swim into deep water. Don’t
go out on the bay in a small motor
boat. A storm may come up and your
small ship be capsized.
The drowning season is here. There
has never been a summer within the
memory of the oldest citizen of the
city that has not been marked by
drowning tragedies.
Considerate Wife.
Senator John W. Weeks of Massa
chusetts smiled when one of a party
in a Boston club alluded to henpecked
husbands, and said that he wras re
minded of a man named Bates.
One afternoon Bates was having a
little gabfest with an old acquaint
ance, when the latter spoke of mar
ried life and the beauty of having a
happy home.
‘‘That’s where 1 have a whole lot to
be thankful for,” said Bates. “I have
a wife who looks after me constantly.
As a matter of fact, there are times
when she even takes off my shoes
for me.”
“I see,” thoughtfully mused the ac
quaintance. ‘‘I suppose that is when
you come home tired at night.”
“No, no,” smilingly corrected Bates.
"It is when she thinks that I am about
to slide out early in the evening.
Philadelphia Telegraph. _
WISE PROVISIONS OF NATURE
Nutritive Conditions Such That Man
Is Enabled to Live in Any
Part of Earth.
Two studies recently made by Eu
ropean scientists illustrate the range
in nutritive conditions to which the
human being can adapt himselL
In one case an Eskimo on the island
of Disco in western Greenland con
sumed in one day nearly four pounds
of boiled meat corresponding to £5
grams of nitrogen and 218 grams of
fat. This is said to be far below the
record figure among these people, who
eat very large meals at irregular and
somewhat infrequent intervals.
Indigestion and other nutritive dis
orders, howewer, are rare among them,
and their physical endurance and re
sistance to cold is very high. The way
I the above extraordinary meal was uti
i lized by this Eskimo was found to
be very satisfactory.
The other study was of a man in
Copenhagen “who was able to main
tain himself in excellent nutritive
equilibrium and muscular efficiency
through long periods of months, not
merely days, on a diet essentially com
posed of potatoes and margarin.”
i Four pounds of potatoes were eaten
daily, yielding 3.62 grams of digest
ible nitrogen which with the margarin
amounted to 3,900 calories.
When hard work had to be per
formed this man ate eight pounds of
potatoes with liberal additions of fat,
so that the entire energy content was
brought up to 6,000 calories with 10
grams of digestible nitrogen. No dila
tation of the stomach was found to
result from these monster meals.
Such curiosities of the literature of
nutrition simply show the great adapt
ability of the human organism, which
has enabled man to live in every re
gion of the earth. It is needless to
say that neither the maximum nor the
minimum of any nutritive element is
desirable. The normal individual lives
in the safe medium.
COULD NOT SEE THE FUTURE
Two Men of Great Inventive Ability
Who Had Not the Quality
of Foresight.
Not infrequently great inventors do
no comprehend the significance of the
thing they have produced. An inter
esting anecdote of two famous men of
science whose foresight did not equal
their inventive ability follows.
When Hertz first began to obtain
satisfactory results from his now fa
mous researches into the possibility
of transmitting electric waves, certain
men of science suggested that some
day similar vibrations might serve to
transmit messages through space.
Hertz laughed at the hypothesis, and
I assured all eomers that his experi
1 ments were for laboratories only.
Now, after a few short years, it is
hard to find a single issue of a daily
paper that does not record some note
worthy example of the use of wireless
telegraphy.
Levassor was the great engineer
who sketched the automobile with
such skill that his design has not been
materially changed to th<s day. After
Ijevasror accomplished his historic trip
from Paris to Bordeaux and return, at
the dizzy speedy of about fifteen miles
an hour, his admirers gave him a
banquet. During the toasts, one of
them, stirred by the spirit of the oc
casion, rose and enthusiastically called
on the assembly to drink to the ap
proaching day when carriages should
travel at the speed of sixty miles an
hour. Levassor turned to his near
est neighbor and asked in a quick
undertone, “Why is it that after every
banquet some people feel, called on
to make fools of themselves?”—Les
Inventions illustrees.
Set Off by Human Electricity.
The theory that a man's body may
contain enough electricity to set off a
charge of explosive was put forward
by a British government expert on
combustibles to account for an ex
plosion at Stowmarket which resulted
in the death of four men. Major
Cooper-Key, the expert, expressed the
opinion that one of the man had ac
cumulated electricity in his body, “and
not having earthed himself, a spark
passed through a dangerous commod
ity and so caused it to explode.” He
added: "It was an exceptional acci
dent, which could probably have been
prevented by the insertion of a metal
stud in the worker’s rubber overshoes.
A regulation to this effect will prob
ably be made in the future.”
How Edward Can Draw.
Edward was showing Miss Brown
how well he could draw a cow. As he
drew, he glanced from time to time at
a cow grazing in a nearby yard.
“This is her nose,” he said, draw
ing a curved line.
“Here’s her body," he explained, and
after a look at his model he added an
other curved line.
“Now here’s her tail,” and he placed
a curved line opposite the so-called
nose.
As he held the finished drawing up
for inspection, an embarrassed smile
spread over his countenance.
“Perhaps we’d better call it a
pump," he said.—Youth's Companion.
Nothing to Worry About.
The man who had been eating oys
ters off the half shell stopped long
enough to eject a hard substance,
which dropped to the floor and rolled
under the counter.
“What’s that?" asked the man on
the next seat. “A pearl?”
And the other nonchalantly replied:
‘‘Nope; tooth!”—Judge.
CONCERNING MAN WHO LOVED
He Showed Affection for Everybody
and Everything Except Neighbor
on Party Telephone Line.
There was once a man who tried to
love his neighbors. He began with
those next door and succeeded In lov
ing them very satisfactorily, although
one of them kept chickens and the oth
er one was a rival and perhaps supe
rior gardener. From these concrete
examples he proceeded to demonstrate
his ability to love the abstract var
riety of neighbors which includes ev
erybody and everything. He not only
loved his neighbors' chickens, but he
loved his neighbors’ garden—even the
arrogant tomatoes that bloomed and
flourished there w'hiie those in his own
garden pined away. He loved the ice
man and the light and gas and water
men and he w'ould have loved the man
who cleaned the streets if he had been
certain of his existence.
He loved the gentleman across the
street who tinkered with his motor
car all day Sunday, and he loved the
woodpecker that hammered the water
spout outside his bedroom window at
five o'clock each morning He loved
the neighbors’ children, although they
pulled his pansies, and he pretended
that he loved the beetles that fed on
the hearts of his rosebuds. He loved
hot weather and cold weather, and ex
pressed a peculiar affection for the
weather man.
All these he loved, and many more
but there was one neighbor that he
could not love. It was the neighbor
who was said to be on the same party
telephone line with him. It is doubt
ful if anybody has ever succeeded in
loving that elusive, ever-present some
body who seems to live on his party
line. It has long been a matter bf re
gret that one half of the world did noi
know how the other half lived. By
means of the party line we have found
out all about It, and a very unproflta
ble piece of knowledge it has been
We know too much about the' neigh
bor on our party line, and he knows
too much about us.
This man might have succeeded ir
loving his neighbor on his telephons
line if he had met him over the gar
den fence, but they were forever as
saulting each other with unexpectec
and irritable “helloes,” and with vehe
ment requests from each to the othei
to “get off the line.” When he callei
up his wife in the morning his neigh
bor's wife answered him, and whei
he tumbled down the stairs to answe;
his telephone in the night the neigh
bor sent him back to bed humiliated
And then his wife and the neighbor’i
wife met at a luncheon where the lat
ter induced the former to listen to s
weary recital of the telephone habit!
of the "folks on their party line." O
course there was no chance after that
It seems that it cannot be done. Thi
party telephone lines connect us to<
closely with our neighbors to permi
us to love each other.
a.
LODGE DIRECTORY.
ROWLAND LODGE No. 594 F.
M.meets every second and fourth Satur
day evenings at 7:30 o’clock. Visiting
Masons always welcome.
C. T. Thompson, W. M.
C. A. Berry, Sec'y.
HOWARD CHAPTER. No. 122, R. A.
M.—meets every first and third Thurs
day evening at Masonic hall. Visiting
companions welcome.
L. F. Magee, H. P.
R. W. Beede, Secy.
HUTT1G CHAPTER No. 320. Order of
the Eastern Star, meets every first and
third Friday evening at 7:30 o’clock.
Visiting brothers and sisters welcome.
Mrs. C. A. Berry, W. M.
Mrs. L. G. Gibson, Sec'y.
HUTTIG LODGE No. 348 1. O. O. F.
meets every Tuesday evening. Visiting
brethern cordially invited to attend.
A. P. Holtsford, N. G.
„ E. L. Ware, Secy.
HUTTIG REBEKAH LODGE No. 66,
meets every Monday night at 7:30 o'clock
Visitors are invited.
Mrs. Dona Holtsford, N. G.
Mrs. May Claybaugh, Secy.
SWEET BAY CAMP No. 41 1 W. 0. W.
meets' every first and third Saturday eve
nings. Visitors made welcome.
L. M. DeSpain, C. C.
J. C. Bridges, Clerk.
RAILROAD TIME TABLE.
St. Louis, Iron Mountain & Southern
LITTLE ROCK h MONROE RY.
South
5:25 a. m
?:55 a. m
Leaves
1 1:55 p.
North
. Huttig 3:23 p. m
Monroe 1 ;00 p.m
local.
m, Huttig
Arrives
12:15 p. m.
St. Louis, Iron Mountain &l Southern
FARMERVILLE A SOUTHERN RY.
North
4:42 a. m.
3:15 a. m.
South
3:54 p. m
5:20 p. m
Huttig
Farijnerville
local, t
10:15 a.m. Huttig 2:25 p.m.
tArrives Monday, Wednesday, and Fri
day from Monroe and goes to Farmer
ville.
‘Arrives Tuesday, Thursday and Satur
day from Farmerville and goes to Mon
roe,
NEILL C. MARSH
Lawyer
i Practice in All Courts. Rooms 15 and
16, Postoffice Building
EL DORADO, - ARKANSAS
t
1
Your Business Means Our Profit! I
And
Our Business Means YOUR
-s
1
Profit! j|
" ^
All things work hand in hand and in working together
we can accomplish much for both.
It takes long to tell, but little time to see how well we
are equipped to supply your demands.
Our sales force will take pleasure in showing you any
thing you wish to price or inspect.