Letter From Satan to the Kaiser
Satan Addresses the German
Ruler from the Infernal
Regions
Louis Sybercrop of Creston,
la., has acquired fame in recent
•weeks as an author of a satire
on Kaiser Wilhelm. Requests
have come to him from Secre
tary Tumulty, Secretary Dan
iels, and Col. Roosevelt and
people in every state in the
union and Canada have asked
for copies of Mr. Sybercrop’s
article. It is as follows:
’’The Infernal Regions”
June 28, 1917
To Wilhelm Von Hohenzollern,
King of Prussia, Emperor of
Germany, and Envoy Extra
ordinary of Almighty God.
Dear Wilhelm:
I can call you that familiar
name for I have always been
very close to you, much closer
than you could ever know.
From the time that you were
yet an undeveloped being in
your mother’s womb I have
shaped your destiny for my
own purpose
In the days of Rome I creat
ed a roughneck known as Nero
He was a vulgar person and
suited my purpose at that time.
In these modern days a classic
demon and super-criminal was
needed and as I know the Ho
henzollern blook I picked you
as my special instrument to
place on earth an annex of
Hell. I gave you abnormal am
bition, likewise an oversupply
of egotism, that you might, not
discover your failings; I twist
ed your mind to that of a mad
man with certain normal ten
dencies to carry you by, a most
dangerous character placed in
your power; I gave you the
power of a hypnotist and a
certain magnetic force that you
might sway your people. I am
responsible for that deformed
arm that hangs helpless on you
left, for your crippled condi
tion embitters your life and
destroys all noble impulses
that might otherwise cause me
anxiety, but your strong arm is
driven by your ambition that
squelches all sentiment and
pity; 1 placed in your soul a
deep hatred for all things Eng
lish, for of all nations on Earth
I hate England for wherever
England plants her flag she
brings order out of chaos and
the hated cross follows the un
ion jack; under her rule wild
tribes become tillers of the soil
and in due time practical citi
zens; she is the great civilizer'
of the globe and I hate her.
I planted in your soul a cruel
hatred for your mother because
she w'as English, and left my
good friend Bismarck to fan
the flame I had kindled. Re
cent history proves how well
our work has been done. I
broke your royal n. other’s
heart, but I gained my pur
pose.
The inherited disease of the
Hohenzollerns killed your fath
er just as it will kill you, and
you became the ruler of Ger
many and a tool of mine soon
er than I expected.
To assist you and further
hasten my work I sent you
three evil spirits, Neitzsche,
iTritshke and later Bernhardi,
whose teachings inflamed the
youths of Germany, who in
good time would be willing and
loyal subjects and eager to spill
their blood and pull your ches
nuts and mine; the spell has
been perfect:—you cast your
ambitious eyes toward the
Mediterranean, Egypt, India
and '.he Dardanelles and you
began your great railway to
Bagdad but the ambitious Ar
chduke and his more ambitious
wife stood in your way. It was
then that I sowed the seed in
your heart that blossomed into
the assassination of the Duke
and his wife, and all hell smil
ed when it saw how cleverly
you handled the crime onto
Servia. I saw you set sail for
the fjords of Norway and I
knew you would prove an alibi.
How cleverly done, so much
like your noble grandfather,
who also secured an assassin to
remove old King Frederick of
Denmark, and later robbed
that country of two provinces
that gave Germany an oppor
tunity to become a naval pow
er. Murder is dirty work, but
it takes a Hohenzollern to
make away and get by.
Your opportunity was at
hand: you set the world afire
and the bells of hell were ring
ing; your rape on Belgium
caused much joy, it was the
beginning—the foundation of
a perfect hell on earth, the de
struction of noble cathedrals
and other infinite works of art
were hailed with joy in the in
fernal regions. You made war
on friend and foe alike, and
the murder of civilians show
ed my teachings had borne
fruit. Your treachery toward
neutral nations hastened a uni
versal upheavel, the thing I
most desired- Your undersea
warfare is a master stroke:
From the smallest mackerel
pot to the great Lusitania you
showed no favor: as a war
lord you stand supreme, for
you have no mercy; you have
no consideration for the baby
clinging to its mother’s breast
as they both go down into the
deep together, only to be torn
apart and leisurely devoured
by sharks down among the
corals.
I have strolled over the bat
le fields of Belgium andFrance
I have seen your hand of de
struction everywhere: it's all
your work, superfiend that I
made you. I have seen the
fields of Poland, now a wilder
ness, fit for prowling beasts
only: No merry children in
Poland now: they have : uc
cumbed to frost and starvation.
I drifted down into Galicia
where formerly Jews and Gen
tiles lived happily together. I
found but ruins and ashes: 1
felt a curious pride in my pupil
for it was above my expecta
tions. I was in Belgium when
[you drove the peaceful pooulu
tion before you into slavery,
like cattle you separated man
iand wife and forced them to
hard labor in the trenches. I
I have seen the most feindish
rape committed on young wo
men and those who were forc
ed to materndy were cursing
the father of their offspring,
and I began to doubt if my
own inferno was really up to
date.
You have taken millions of
dollars fiom innocent victims
and called it indemnity; you
have lived fat on the land you
have usurped and sent the real
owners away to starvation
You have stayed away from all
legalized war methods and in
troduced a code of your own.
You have killed and robbed
the people of friendly nations
, and destroyed their property,
i You are a liar, a hypocrite and
a bluffer of the highest mag
nitude. You are a partner of
I mine, and yet you pose as a
personal friend of God. Ah,
Wilhelm you are a wonder.
You wantonly destroy all things
in your path and leave nothing
for coming generations.
I was amazed when I saw
l you form a partnership with
! the impossible turk, the chronic
• ruler of the Christians, and
!vou a devout worshipper in the
! Lutheran church. I confess,
Wilhelm, you are a puzzle at
times. A Mohammedan army
commanded by German offi
cers assisted one another in
massacreing Christians is a new
line of warfare. When a Prus
sian officer can witness a nude
woman being disemboweled by
a swarthy Turk, committing a
double murder with one stroke
of his saber, and calmly stand
by and see a house full of in
nocent Armenians locked up,
the house saturated with oil
and fired, then my teachings
did not stop with you but have
extended to the whole German
nation. I confess, my Satanic
soul grew sick and then and
there I knew the pupil had be
come the master. I am a back
number, and my Dear Wilhelm
I abdicate in your favor. The
great key of hell will be turned
over to you. The gavel that
has struck the doom of dam
ned souls since time began is
yours. I am satisfied with
what I have done; that my ab
dication is for the very best in
terest of hell. In the future 1
am at your majesty’s servce.
Affectionately and sincerely,
LUCIFER H. SATAN, j
What is your family going
to read this winter? Maybe you
hadn’t thought about t, but it’s
one of the most important ques-,
lions you have to answer just
now.
|| A MOTHER’S LOVE w
|| || II II II II II II II II v
The most beautiful thing in
life is a mothers love- It begins
with stitches on a tiny garment
and it outlasts the grave. The
love that the mother bears for
her son follows him through
babyhood, school days, young
manhood and fatherhood,
through all his successes and
defeats. In honor or disgrace,
it utterly owns him. A stain can
never attach itself to him; for
always it is he who is wronged
by the world. To his mother he
can confidently turn on any
occasion under any circum
stances. In her he finds always
the safe tender parent who
sought dawning light in his
baby face and the secret of his
greatness has lain hidden in
her heart as she pondered over
its promise. The realization of
her dream cannot fail, for she
sees its fruition beyond the end
of life itself.
The mother has the power
of vision. She can see in a
shapeless bit of life an unend
ing success to great manhood.
She has also the strength of
faith that is unshakeable. It
approaches the divine. It
heaven may be found at all on
earth it is in the heart of moth
er. There is no life a woman
will not live no death she will
not die for her children. In
all the complex relationships
of life she nobly bears her part.
Man’s life may be diverse and
all absorbing and difficult, but
it is as nothing to the experi
ence of the mother who has
borne and laid away and lived
all that life has to offer.
■■ - - —■<>
You wouldn’t walk all d;u
on a gravel stone in your shoe
—then why go around with a
bitterness in your heart as eas
ily disposed of?
i!
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Barnetts Bargain Annex
BATESVILLE, ARKANSAS
The Store That Saves You Money
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BATESVILLE, ARKANSAS
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