A Phenomenal
Rooster
By IVlax Adeler.
“Perhaps yon never noticed that
rooster,” said Cooley, pointing to a
chicken on the fence between his yard
and mine; "very likely yon never paid j
much attention to him! but I don’t |
care in what light you look at him, the [
more you study him the more talented !
lie appears. You talk about your ,
American iggles and birds of freedom, I
and all such slush as that, but that in- I
significant-looking chicken yonder kin ’
give any of them 20 points and pocket i
them at the first shot. 1 pledge you
my word that that rooster has fine
traits of character that'd adorn almost
any walk of life. He's just lovely! I
don’t say anything about his voice.
That’S neither here nor there. Al
though if you’re going to allude to that
subject, I just want to mention that,
as far as crowing is concerned, he kin
begin earlier, knock off later, and reel
off more crows in a minute than any
other rooster in the state.
v"Most chickens are kinder stupid;
hut what I like about him is, that he is
sympathetic; he has feeling. I know
last fall that my shanghai hen was
taken sick while she was trying to
hatch out some eggs, and that rooster
was so compassionate that he used to
go in, and sit on that nest for hours,
trying to help her out so that she
could go off recreating after exercise.
And when she died, he turned right in
and took charge of things; seemed to
feel that he ought to be a father to
those unborn little orphans, and he
straddled around over those eggs for
icver so long as graceful as a mer
maid!
He never got much satisfaction out
iof it. though. Most of them were duck I
eggs, and it seemed to kinder cut him j
up when he looked at those birds after
they hatched out. He took it to heart >
and appeared to feel low-spirited and
(afflicted. He would go off and stand
by himself—stand on one leg in a cor
Iner of the fence and let his mind brood
lover his troubles until you’d pity him.
jit disgusted him to think how the job
turned out.
“Now you wouldn't think such a
chicken as that would have much
courage, but as true as I'm telling you
he’d just as lief fight a wagon-load of
tigers as to go to sleep. He got a no
tion in his head that that rooster over
there on the Baptist church steeple
was alive, and he couldn’t bear to
think that it was up there sailing
around and putting on airs over him,
and a good many times I’ve seen him 1
try to fly up at it so’s to arrange a 1
tight. When he found he couldn't
make it. he'd crow at the Baptist
rooster and dare it to come down, and I
at last, when ajl his efforts were use- j
less, would you believe that rooster
one day tackled the sexton as the
weathercock's next friend, and drove
his spurs so far into the sexton's
shanks that ho walked on crutches for
more’n a week. 1 never saw a mere
chicken have such fine instincts and
such pluck.
“He is a splendid fighter, anyway,
just as he stands. And so intelligent,
too. Why, he had a little fuss with
Pitman's Poland rooster here some
time hack, and instead of going at him
and taking the chances of getting
licked, that chicken actually put him- i
self into training, ate nothing but corn,
took regular exercise, went to roost j
early, took a cold bath every morning,
and got a friendly pullet to rub him
down with a corncob. It was wonder
ful! and in a week or so he was all
bom* and muscle, and he flickered over
the fence after Pitman's rooster and
sent him cahooting into the next world
in the fourth round.
“I never saw such a rooster for intel
lectual culture. .Now do you know 1
believe that chicken actually takes an
interest in politics! Oh. you may
laugh, but last fall, during the cam
paign, he was so excited about some
thing that he couldn't eat. and the j
"night they had the Democratic mass
meeting here he roosted on the chan- ;
deller in the hall, and every time Gen. i
Heller made a good point that chicken i
would crow and flap his wings as much
as to say: ‘Them’s my sentiments!’ :
And on the day of the parade he .
turned out and followed the last wagr
on, keeping step with the music, and
never dropping out of line but once,
when he stopped to fight a Republican
rooster belonging to old Hyerly, who
was ofi the Republican ticket for coun
ty commissioner. And in the morning,
after the Democrats won, he just got
on the fence out here and crowed so
vociferously you could’ve heard him
across the river, particularly when I
run up the American flag and read the
latest returns.
“Yes, sir. .Vow I know you'll think
it's ridiculous when I tell you, hut it's
•in actual fact that that very day my
daughter was playing the ‘Star-span
gled Banner’ on the piano, and that
rooster, when he heard it, came scud
ding into the parlor, and after flipping
tip on the piano he struck out and
crowed that time just as natural as if
he was tin educated musician. Posi
tive truth, and he heat time with his
tail! He didn't crow like any other
rooster. Every morning lie works off
selections from Beethoven and Mozart
and those fellers, and on Sundays lie
frequently lets himself out on hymn
tunes. Why, I've known him to sit on
that fence for more’n an hour at a time
practicing the scales, and lie nearly
kicked your rooster to death one day
because your rooster crowed fiat. I
saw him do it myself. And now, I
really must he going. Good nlorning.”
1 am going to kill Cooley’s rooster at
tiie first opportunity. I want him to
have one thing less to lie about. He
hus too much variety at present.
MADE USE OF HER LEGACY.
Aunt's Bequest of Use to Ease Niece's
Feeling.
When people asked Miss Amanda
Green what she received from her
aunt in the city as a legacy, Miss
Green always smiled grimly and step
ped toward her fireplace.
“Aunt always said she should re
member me in her will,” Miss Green
would say, “and although I knew the
family traits, I did calculate on a few
hundred dollars, she being worth
somewhere up in the hundred thou
sands. But what she didn’t leave to
her son all went to the college where
he got his education.
“It was stated in the will that I
was to choose ‘any remembrance
from among the household furnish
ings that I wished.
“I chose this pair o' bellows,” and
Miss Green would lift a well-worn
article from the peg where it hung.
“Some folks wouldn't sense the fun
I've got out o’ these old things. Aunt
Rebecca wouldn't ever let ’em be
used for fear they'd start the fire up
too much. I've sat over a dying blaze
in her fore-room with my eyes on
this pair o’ bellows till it seemed as
if mv gaze would fetch ’em right off
their hook!
“Now 1 take 'em down, even when
’tisn't necessary, and I work 'em back
and forth hard as I can, and it eases
my feelings so that by the time I hang
’em up I’m ready to say: 'Poor old
Aunt Rebecca!’ instead of—well,
something quite different."—Youth's
Companion.
TEACHER WAS ALL RIGHT.
Had Answered All Questions in a Sat
isfactory Manner.
I was staying over night with a far
mer, says a writer in the Chicago
Daily News, and after supper we were
talking about educational matters,
when I mentioned the fact that 1 had
passed a schoolhouse about two miles
west of his farm that afternoon and
that the female teacher, who was
standing in the door, was an intelli
gent-looking girl.
"Yes, I got her the place," he re
plied.
"Then you are what is called the
moderator? You had to ask her vari
ous questions to see if she was lifted
for the place?”
"Well, not so very many. 1 asked
her about the Rocky mountains and
the Atlantic ocean and who Shake
speare was, and she answered right
off. Then 1 said something about
Turkey and how many times 10 went
into 80 and her answers showed me
she was right up to the mark. Then
I asked her in case my old woman
died during the summer if she'd mar
ry me in the fall, and she said she'd
be durned glad to. and 1 told her to
bring along her duds and take the
job.” _
A Fowl Question.
"Pop?”
"Yes, my son.”
"Do Mother Carey’s chickens coma
out of the ship’s hatches?”
Consumption is less deadly than it used to be.
Certain relief and usually complete recovery
will result from the following treatment:
Hope, rest, fresh air, and—Scott's
Emulsion.
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“JUST MY LUCK”
“That's just my luck.” said pessimist
Bill.
When his wawon stuck on the side
of the hill.
He was half asleep and he did not see
The rut in the road by the old oak
tree.
Had Bill been alert with his load of
truck
He never would have said, “That’s
just my luck.”
When his cow was killed by an old
freight train.
“That's just my luck,” said poor
Bill a wain.
Now the fact is this: there's a broken
"•ate
That Bill failed to tix till ft was too j
late. * :
And so the old cow with an old cow’s
pluck %
Strayed off to the track just to I
brinjr Bill luck.
One wild windy ni^ht Bill's bijr barn |
was burned— [
"That’s just my luck, well I’ll be 1
durned.”
Yes. Bill would swear, but here is the
joke.
That Bill's cob pipe was the cause
of the smoke.
Whatever we saw we are bound to
pluck,
Then like Bill we cry: “That's just
my luck."
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