WOODRUFF CO. NEWS.
FOBLIRHED TH0R8DAY OT EACH Will AT
MoCRORY, ARKANSAS.
WALTER W RANEY, Editor.
Entered at the Post-Office at McCrory
Arkansas, as Second-Class mail,matter.
June 11th, 190*.
SUBSCRIPTION RATES.
One Year. In advance. H<00
Announcements.
Prosecuting Attorney :
We are authorized to announce J. M. Vine
yard, of Helena, as a candidate for the office
of Prosecuting Attorney for this, the First
Judicial District, subject to the action of the
democratic party.
Circuit Court Clerk.
The N*wsis authorized to announce Wm.
Moorman, of Augusta, as a candidate for the
office of circuit court clerk of this county sub
ject to the action of the democratic party.
County and Probate Court Clerk
We are authorized to announce F. B. Win
free, of Tip, as a candidate for the office of
county and probate court clerk of this county
subject to the action of the democratic party.
The News is authorized to announce Ed B.
Carl-Lee of Augusta, as a candidate for the
office of county and proDate court clerk of
this county subject to the action of the Dem
ocratic party.
Sheriff and Collector.
We are authorized to announce T. Eck
Simpson, of Augusta, as a candidate for the
office of sheriff and collector of this county
subject to the action of the democratic party.
The Nbwe is authorized to announce W.
R. Cain, of Augusta, as a candidate for the of
fice of sheriff and collector of this county sub
ject to the action of the democratic party.
Tax Assessor,
The News Is authorized to announi^ W
B. Fakes, of McCrory, as a candidate for the
office of tax assessor of this county subject to
the action of the democratic party.
Representative.
The News Is authorized to announce Elmo
M. Carl-Lee. of Augusta, as a candidate for
the office of representative of this county
subject to the action of the democratic party.
- The News Is authorized to announce R. B.
Keating, of McCrory, as a candidate for the
office of representative of this county sub
ject to the action of the democratic party.
County and Probate Judge.
The News is authorized to announce J. F.
Summers, of Augusta, as a candidate for the
office of county and probate judge of this
county subject to the action of the democrat
ic party.
The News Is authorized to announce Esq.
Chas. N. Henri, of Pumpkin Bend Township,
as a candidate for the office of county and
probate judge of this county subject to the
action of the democratic party.
The News is authorized to announce Esq. S,
F. Watson, of McCrory, as a candidate for
the office of county and probate judge of
r this county subject to the action of the demo
cratic party.
Treasurer.
The News is authorized to announce 0. L.
Jackson, of Grays, as a candidate for the
office of Treasurer of this county subject to
the action of the democratic party.
OUR NEW SUBSCRIBERS.
Below is a list of those who
paid us in advance for the News
since our last issue.
E. L. Pritchett, Gregory, Ark.
R. A. Jones, McCroiy, Ark. E.
C. Kramer, 18 Towne St., Santa
* Cruz, Cal. Miss Myrtle Best,
Judsonia, Ark.
A few days ago a rather bashful
young woman went into a store
carrying three chickens. She in
quired the price of chickens and
at the same time put them on the
counter. The clerk didn’t know
the chickens’ feet were tied, and
asked if they would lay there. She
j bit her handkerchief and said:
'“No, sir, they are roosters.”
NEW PERFECTION
WICK BLUE FLAHE
OIL STOVES
Are The BEST
Simple in con
struction-safe
and reliable
al way s
ready.
FOR SALE BY
WOOD & SON.
TRUE DAUGHTER OF VASSAR
Boston Girl Could Not Stand for Mis
pronunciation Even From
the Florist.
A charming young Boston girl
just out of Vassar was critically ex
amining the stock of a florist’s stall
in Tremont street.
“I want flowers for two large win
dow boxes,” said she, “and they’re
to be red and blue. That lot
of lobelias will do nicely. How much
are these?” she added, pointing to a
row of flaming geraniums.
“Ten cents, three for a quarter,”
said the florist. “Fine geraniums,
too!”
The Vassar girl gave him a glance
of pity. Then, very delicately, as
if not to wound the man’s feelings
by the correction, she said, “I will
take a dozen of your best gerania.”
—Harper’s Weekly.
FITNESS OF THINGS.
Medders, who had eaten a hearty
breakfast of ham and eggs, with the
usual evidences of the meal on his
shirt front and waistcoat—for Med
ders was a bit careless in his feeding
—leaned back in his chair with se
rene satisfaction.
“Well,” he said, “I feel better.
I’ll go now and order that suit of
clothes I have been intending for
the last month or more to add to
my wardrobe.”
“If you take my advice,” suggest
ed the feminine autocrat of the
breakfast table, surveying him with
marked displeasure, “you’ll get a
pepper and salt suit.”
“What for?”
“To go with all that egg.”—Chi
cago Daily News.
WATCHES NEED A REST.
“Watches get tired out just the
same as people,” said a methodical
man who worries if his timepiece
isn’t right up to scratch.
“Every little while my watch
would stop running with its usual
regularity and lose about half an
hour in a day. I took it to the jew
eler once or twice, but it still had
these spells. One day I found out
accidentally that it was just tired.
If I lay it away somewhere for a
day or two when it gets one of those
losing fits and then wind it up again
it will keep perfect time. All it
seems to need is a little rest.”
PROFESSIONAL 8TOICI3M.
The dentist on the third floor was
treating a tooth for the dentist on
the fifth floor.
“I hope I’m not hurting you,” he
said, as the drill slipped into the
nerve cavity.
There was no response.
“I say I hope I didn’t hurt you
any.”
The dentist in the chair opened
his eyes.
“I beg your pardon for not hear
ing you, doc,” he said. “I must
have fallen asleep.”
TIME WAS MONEY.
A clergyman not long ago re
ceived the following notice regard
ing a marriage that was to take
place at the parish house:
“This is to give you notis that I
and Mis Jemima Arabella Brearly
is cornin’ to your church on Satur
day afternoon nex’ to undergo the
operation of matrimony at your
hands. Please be promp, as the cab
is hired by the hour.”—Ladies’
Home Journal.
IN DOUBT ABOUT ONE POINT.
“But I have talked long enough,
my friends,” said the long winded
orator. “Before I sit down, how
ever, I am willing to answer any
questions you may like to ask as to
points I may have failed to cover
in my discourse.”
A brief pause followed.
Then a timid looking man in the
audience rose.
“Is a motion to adjourn in or
der?” he asked.
HOW HE DID IT.
"I can’t understand,” said the
doctor after the operation had been
performed and the patient had been
prepared for burial, “how your hus
band was able to live, with such an
affliction as he had.”
“Well, you see,” replied the sor
rowing widow, “it was years and
years before we could persuade him
to go on the operating table.”
PROVERBIAL.
“Alas,” said the jeweler as the
fat man leaned through his show
counter with a crash, “circumferen
ces alter cases.”—Princeton Tiger.
/!
%
HARNESS
REPAIRING
I have purchased
the Harness and Re
pair Shop of A. J.
Porter, formerly own
ed by W. N. Dune
hew, and am now lo
cated one door north
of Jeffries, Marsh &
Co’s, meat market
where I will be pleas
ed to do your repair
work. Your patron
age respectfully so
licited. Prompt at
tention and good
workmanship promis
ed all work brought
to my shop. Resp’t’ly,
June Dallas
McCrory,Ark.
NOTICE.
There will be a meeting of the
Democratic Central Committee of
Woodruff County, on Jan., 28, at
Wherry’s hall McCrory, Ark., for
the purpose of selecting a date to
hold the primary election for the
nomination of county, district,
congressional and state offices and
for any other business that may
come before the committee.
R. K. Fitzhugh, Chairman.
A. H. Campbell, Secretary.
TAYLOR-FAUCETTE
On Thursday, Jan., 2, 1908, at
i he home of the bride’s mother,
Mrs. Aurora Faucette, in Searcy,
occured a very beautiful wedding,
when Mr. H. Strother Taylor and
Miss Kathrvne Faucette were unit
ed in marriage at 10:30 a. m., Dr.
C. C. Godden officiating. Imme
diately after the ceremony, amid
congratulations and best wishes
the happy couple departed for
McCrory. Mr. Taylor who is a
son of Mr. and Mrs. T. N. Taylor,
living four miles north of MeCro
ry, is a graduate of one of the
best business colleges of Little
Rock, a Bright and honorable
young man, trustworthy and ener
getic. Miss Faucette is a charm
ing young lady of many accom
plishments. She has been engag
ed in music teaching in this city
the past three years and is now
for a second year in charge of the
music department of our school.
They have a host of friends who
wish them a happy journey thru
life. Mr. and Mrs. Taylor will
make their home in this city' at
which place he is salesman for the
Fakes Mercantile Company, one of
the largest concerns of its kind in
eastern Arkansas.
PROFESSIONAL CARDS
ANDREWS & WOODS
(Tbl* Partnership for Civil Buslnras Only.)
LAWYERS
Augusta Arkansas.
You Read the
Other Fellow’s Ad
You are reading this one. ;
That should convince you
that advertising in these
columns is a profitable
proposition; that it will
bring business to your
store. The fact that the
other fellow advertises is
probably the reason he is
| getting more business than
is falling to you. Would •
it not be well to give the
other fellow a chance !
To Read Your Ad.
In These Columns.
NOT HARD TO COPE WITH
Medical 8clence Was Equal to New
and Wonderful Form of Hu
man Affliction.
A medical student who prided
himself on being a humorist was
running down the steps of the hos
pital which he was “walking,” when
he met a fellow-student. “Hello,
Brown!” cried the latter, noticing
that his friend looked pleased. “You
’re in a hurry, What’s the matter—
any good cases?”
“I should think so!” cried Brown.
“We’ve got a woman in the ward up
stairs who is so cross-eyed that the
tears run down her back!”
“Bless me!” said his friend. “You
can’t do anything for her, can you ?”
“I should think we can—in fact,
we have,” cried Brown; “we’ve treat
ed her for bacteria!”
UNROMANTIC PAPA.
She (gushingly)—I had such a love
ly conversation with your son Just
now.
Old Father (cynically)—Why, did
he propose to you?
ELECTRICITY—ITS BEGINNING.
When we speak of “volts” in elec
tricity, we pay ofttimes an uncon
scious tribute to Alexander Volta
who in Paris just one hundred years
ago made public a contrivance that
assured a steady flow of electricity.
His discovery remains practically
unchanged to this day. Previously,
a current of electricity had been de
rived from a series of pieces of zinc
and copper, each bit of metal wrap
ped in a cloth saturated with acid.
Volta improved this by putting each
zinc and copper pan in a cup by
itself filled with acid. From this
“crown of cups” a steady current
was produced—and it is this voltaic
cell that has taught the modern elec
trician his business.
A THANKFUL FARMER.
It is related of an old farmer re
siding in Australia that he was jog
ging to chapel in his usual manner,
in order to take part in the harvest
thanksgiving service. The harvest
had been small, and the rain waa]
still pelting mercilessly.
“Where are you going?” asked a
sneering neighbor.
“To the harvest thanksgiving to
thank God for His mercies,” an
swered the farmer.
“And suppose God is not there?”
said the neighbor.
“Then we’ll praise Him behind
his back,” said the worthy old man,
as he jogged on towards the chapel.
POOR OUTLOOK.
The rich young man who was
trying to learn to work had fallen
in love with the daughter of his em
ployer, but he found that his path
was by no means clear of obstacles.
“You tell me your father objects
to your marrying me,” he said, in a
crestfallen tone. “Is it because I
am in his employ? I can leave it
and go back to a life of idleness
if he prefers.”
“Oh, no, that isn’t what he wants,”
said the object of his choice. “He
says I may marry you just as soon
as you’re valuable enough to have
your salary raised.”—Youth’s Com
panion.
AUTOMOBILE SEARCHLIGHT.
The automobile searchlight adopt
ed for the British army, is on a ve
hicle designed for 22 to 25 miles an
hour, and, haring cannon wheels
with bronze treads and heavy pneu
matic tires, traverses cultivated
fields and bad roads at 12 to 16
miles. The steel chassis is 20 feet
long, carrying a four-cylinder
Brooke petroleum motor of 45 horse
power and a three-foot lens pro
jects a 40,000 candle power beam
of light three or four miles. With
four men the apparatus supplies
light, traveling or at rest, for 10
or 12 hours without interruption.
MULES WERE REAL ONES
Simple Explanation of Order That for
a Time Puzzled Gueat of
Hotel.
“I saw a funny thing in the regis
ter of a hostelry in the Grand Can
yon of the Colorado,” said a Chicago
man who had just returned from a
trip through the west. “I stepped
up to the desk to register when I
saw an entry just above the space
I was destined to fill. The line read
as follows:
“ ‘Mr. and Mrs. John Jones, Ar
kansas. 2 mules/
“The words ‘2 mules,’ were not in
the same handwriting as those giv
ing the names of recent arrivals. A
wild idea flashed through my mind 1
that the hotel clerk must be in the
habit of characterizing the guests.
My natural curiosity prompted me
to make inquiries.
“ ‘Oh, the mules ?’ replied the pre
siding genius of the hotel. That
means that Mr. Jones and his wife
are going to ride down the Canyon
to-morrow morning. Quite a party
making the trip. Would you like to
go?'
“ Tes,’ I said.
“And I had the pleasure of seeing
him write ‘1 mule’ after my name.”
A PROSPEROUS COLONY.
In the state of Victoria, Austra
lia, the railway revenue for 1907
fiscal year was $20,050,000. the
highest on record, while the working
expenses were less than 52 per cent,
of the revenue, the lowest for 28
years. The number of savings bank
depositors increased by 25,000. For
ty per cent, of the entire population
has deposits. The amount at their
credit on June 30 last was $64,000,
000, an increase for the year of
$5,140,000. Overseas exports, exclu
sive of gold, amounted to $62,000,
000, an increase of 250 per cent,
over 1903. The colony’s oversea
imports amounted to $75,000,000.
The exports to other states were
nearly $25,000,000. The govern
ment revenue for the year was $41,
565,000, and the expenditure only
$37,505,000, creating a surplus of
$4,060,000.
WHY DICKEN8 LIVES.
Why is it that the sales of Dick
ens’ works, in English alone, amount
in a single year to more than those
of any later novelist during his
whole lifetime? The readers of hie
novels do not lack intelligence, and
a good number of them are of a
sufficiently advanced culture to de
tect his faults. But whatever the
higher criticism may disclose against
him, there still remains the fullness
of his robust human sympathy and
that mastery of genius which for
ever holds the mind even of children
as that of Shakespeare’s does.—
Harper’s Magazine.
NOT 8TAR QAZER8.
Miss Evening Star—“You have
8 big audience on earth to-night.”
Mr. Comet—“Yes, but I don’t
quite understand it. Every time I
do one of my acrobatic stunts those
folks exclaim: ‘Oh, look at the air
ship/”—Kansas City Times.
THE CONVERSE.
“Is success a crime?”
“I would not say that,” answered
the conservative citizen, “but I must
state that crime seems to be a suc
cess in some quarters.”
one Tong wail.
Gunner—“Every year they hav#
a grand baby show at Asbury Park,
It is a great success.”
Guyer—“H’ml Howling suooes^
I suppose.”
DANGEROUS 8EN8E OF HUMOR
G«o. C. Morton, a machinist re
siding on Russell street, has T«rv
sore ribs, and all because he laughS
too heartily. He was thoroughly
enjoying a joke played on a com.
rade with garden hose, and as he
watched the sport from a window
he laughed with great gusto, *>
much so that he was seized with
pains and had to be helped to a
seat. A medical man was called
and found that he had fractured a
rib and had tom away part of the
lining about another rib.—Bermuda
Royal Gazette.
THE RING ON THE STEM.
With the stem encircled with a
gold ring, which must hare been on
all the while the fruit was growing
from bloom to maturity, a bunch
of grapes was discovered in Long
Beach recently. Chas. Schwitzer a
peddler, was weighing some grapes
for a customer when the glitter of
an object in a cluster caught his at
tention. It was a gold bangle ring
around the stem, midway in tha
bunch, and with grapes both abort
it and below it.
ASK THE STORK.
Census Man—Now, little boy, run
upstairs and tell your mother I for.
got to ask her when your baby broth
er was bom.
Little Boy—She doesn’t know,
sir. She was away on a Visit
Harper’s Weekly.
• ••
C. L. ADAHSON,
Jeweler, Optican and Engraver.
Watches, Clocks, Jewelry
Silverware, Etc. Etc.
ALL WORK GUARANTEED
TWELVE MONTHS.
REPAIR WORK A SPECIALTY.
AUGUSTA, ARKANSAS,
Kennedy’s
Laxative
Cough Syrup
Relieves Colds by working them out
of the system through a copious and
healthy action of the bowels.
Relieves coughs by cleansing the
mucous membranes of the throat, chest
and bronchial tubes.
“As pleasant to the taste
Children Like It
For BACKACHE-WEAK KIDNEYS Trj
Do Witt's Kldnof aod Bladder Plili-Siw
McCRORY
HERC.
OUR
OOOD5
SATISFY.
as Maple Sugar’
THE MEAT
YOU EAT
Should be fresh, clean, properly selected
and carefully handled, otherwise it
dangerous. We are buying live stock a
the time and we buy only the very best.
We have an experienced butcher who
knows how to cut the best steaks.
W.N.DUNEHEW.