THOUGHT HIM A PREACHER
American Diplomat Victim of an
Amusing Mistake in the Yosem
ite Valley.
Madame Hegermann-Lindencrone,
author of the book, "The Sunny Side
of Diplomatic Life,” tells of an Inci
dent that happened when she and her
husband—then Danish minister to the
United States—were traveling in the
West. They were spending Sunday in
the Yosemite valley, when immedi
ately after breakfast a man knocked
at their door and with hums and haws
said he had been sent to ask Mr.
Hegermann-Lindencrone if he would
read the prayers and preach a sermon
in the drawing-room of the hotel, "it
being Sunday and you being a minis
ter.’’ J. was a little aghast, not ex
actly understanding, while I was shak
ing with laughter at the other end of
the room, and would not have inter
fered for worlds for fear of losing a
word of the dialogue.
H‘I read the gospel!’ cried J.
“ ‘Yes, sir. You’re a minister, ain’t
yer?’
‘“Well, yes, I am, but not the kind
you mean.'
"The little man said, condescending
ly: ‘We are not particular as to sect.
Whether you’re a Baptist or Metho
dist, it makes no difference as long as
you will preach.’
"J. had difficulty in explaining in
his best English that preaching was
not a specialty of his.’’
HABIT OF LETTER WRITING
One of the Beet That Can Be Acquired
and la One That Makea
Frlende.
Don't get Into the habit of saying
that you hate to write letters. Many a
friendship has been broken by neglect
ing to answer letters.
Letter writing is decidedly not a
forte with some women—they think
it a bore, and keep their correspond
ence as far as possible within the very
narrowest limits. Others don’t trou
ble even to answer letters when they
get them.
“Oh! you know I’m a wretched cor
respondent,’’ they will say in excuse.
The woman who can talk on paper
to the person to whom she is writing,
almost in the same way and with the
same fluency as she would talk to her
were they together in the same room,
is by far the most successful letter
writer.
A good correspondent nearly always
writes as she speaks.
It is one of the unwTitten laws of
etiquette not to begin a letter with
the pronoun “I.”
This is always a point which should
be remembered In letber writing.
It is always & wise plan to answer
letters within a tew days. In this way
there is no danger of your laying them
aside and forgetting them. This is
especially important where invitations
are concerned.—Camden Daily Cour
ier.
Mathematical Prodigy.
A mathematical genius has been
discovered in India. As described in
the Manchester-Guardian, he is about
fifteen years of age, is wholly illit
erate, looks simple, almost witless,
and is very shy. His brain is a mathe
matical machine, and seems to con
tain nothing but mathematics. Any
question you may ask him that re
lates to figures he answers with aston
ishing rapidity.
One of his feats was the division of
a line of 16 figures by another line of
six. In another case he was asked
the cube of a large number, taken
from a table of such calculations in
a book. One numeral in his answer
differed from that in the book. The
examiner showed him the book, but
he insisted that he was^right; the
sum was worked out on paper, and it
proved that the book was wrong and
that the boy’s computation was cor
rect. Physically, the boy is abnormal.
He has too many fingers and toes, and
is probably defective in other ways.
—Youth’s Companion.
Man-Driven ’Planes.
Before the Invention of the aero
plane many attempts were made to
invent flying machines in which man
power alone would be employed. All
these attempts, however, ended in
failure.
Mathematicians have now estimated
that man is far too heavy to be sus
tained in the air by the power of his
own muscles, no matter how large
may be the wings that he fastens to
his body. Among birds the weight
limit is approached most closely by
the Australian crane, which files, al
though it weighs 20 pounds.
An aeroplane using three horse
power can be built, experts say, which
will sustain a man, but as the best
athletes can exert only a maximum
of two horsepower for 16 seconds at
a time, man’s dream of imitating the
flight of great birds can never be real
ized. He always will be dependent on
a machine.
Sensitiveness of Film.
The ordinary photographic film has
a sensitiveness of about 250 H. and
D. It is, of course, most sensitive to
direct sunlight. Unquestionably, by
exposure to an arc lamp (or what
would serve better for your purpose)
a tungsten lamp of high candle power
(say from 100 to 300 c p.), the sen
sitive Aim would be affected in a very
brief fraction of time. With an ex
posure of a hundredth of a second to
a 100 c. p. lamp at close range you
could depend on blackening the filn.—
Exchange.
SOMETHING WENT WR0N6
By 8ADIE WOODS.
"My, but you’ve got a cold!” said
the girl with the accentuated robes
pierre collar at the enamelware coun
ter as she paused In the act of putting
a nicked saucepan under the pile out
of sight.
“Gold?” echoed the girl at the small
hardware counter In a tone of infinite
scorn. "Got a gold? What I’ve got
Is as an iceberg to a small icicle when
it comes to golds! But I thought I
had a good time getting it, M’ree!”
"Howjuh do It?" inquired the girl
with the robespierre collar.
"Why, the Jolly Rover Social club
gave a midsummer party the other
night,” explained the afflicted one.
"In zero weather!” pried the girl at
the enamelware. “For the land’s sake!
Were they crazy? S’pose you had a
beach party and went for a swim, and
had ice cream for refreshments after
ward! B-r-r-r!"
“Nod exactly," said the sufferer.
“Of course, it was zero, but that’s
what made It Interesting. It's always
Interesting to do things people don’t
expect you to do, Isn’t it?"
“Maybe,” agreed the girl at the en
amelware counter. "But there are lim
its! Now, If any one requested me to
go on a violet picking expedition in
January It would be unexpected, but,
nevertheless, crazy. I hope I have
sense enough to know a snowbank
from a steam radiator. I don’t wonder
you have a cold!”
"We had the party at the hail, ex
plained the girl at the hardware coun
ter. “And it would have been all right
only something seemed to go wrong
with the heating plant. The president
of the club said he told the janitor to.
have it hotter than usual, but the jani
tor must have got mixed and done the
opposite. So when we came in dressed
in white organdies and such things
everybody turned purple almost at
once.
“Now, it doesn’t help a girl’s temper
to know that she's a light heliotrope
tinge and she can’t be her own sweet
self when she realizes that she has a
bright red nose and goose pimples on
her hands and arms! So everybody
started with a bad temper. Jimmy
said I stepped on his feet., but I didn’t
—it was his last summer shoes that
were too small for him and his feet
were numb from cold, anyhow. He
didn’t listen kindly to my explanation,
because when we sat down to talk
there was an icy blast from the win
dow right down his collar, and Jimmy
is awfully sensitive to drafts. So he
got mad at me and went over to talk
to that Flossy Soller—her in the rib
bons—because he Baid he wouldn’t get
pneumonia for any girl and I u
him there on purpose.
"To get even with Jimmy I smiled at
Percy Wagner and he took me to have
some lemonade that ought ’a’ been
boiled, it was so cold, and then he sat
me down in a corner and talked to
me, and Jimmy could see us, and I
wouldn't ’a’ moved if I’d frozen to the
spot. I ’most did, too, because there
was a cold air radiator in the floor
right there and I know the other end
was connected with the north pole. I
had on my ruffled dimity and white
shoes and hosiery and my teeth were
chattering. Percy’s nose looked frost
bitten and his knees knocked together.
When we tried to dance we sort of fell
around like clothespins.
"Then we sat in a circle and ate ice
cream and our throats froze up till we
ought ’a’ called a plumber and every
body said, ’Ain’t we having a fine
time?’ And Jimmy glowed till I was
afraid his face would crack with the
! cold and everything. Then finally,
! just as Percy and I were getting some
more lemonade, Jimmy grabbed me by
the arm.
“ ‘Say,’ he hissed, ‘I’ve had enough
of that sissy fellow trailing after you!’
"Just as I drew away, indignant like
—for nobody can boss me even if it is
Jimmy—Percy sort of fell against the
lemonade bowl and it tipped over and
soaked Jimmy and me. 1,'d hate to
think it of Percy, but I can’t see how
he could have upset that bowl without
planning it.
“Well, of course, Jimmy and I had
to go home then, and my! the lan
guage that man used was something
wonderful! I .didn’t see how there
could be any more language in the
world, but I found there was, for when
we started to get off the street car
Jimmy found his duck trousers that
had got soaked with lemonade were
frozen to the seat. The conductor
wouldn’t hold the car while Jimmy
tore them loose! He said there were
no rules ’n’ regulations requiring a con
ductor to delay service just because
a passenger got frozen to the seat.
"By the time we got home dimi
ty dress skirt was so frozen with
lemonade that it rattled like tin, and
when I hit the doorpost it cracked and
ruined itself. I s’pcse I must ’a’ got
my gold somehow during the eve
ning.”
“It looks that way," agreed the girl
at the enamelware counter.
Love as an Educator.
Love Is good for anyone, I think. It’s
the most educating thing In the world.
If I could, I should insist on everyone
falling in love at least three times un
der thirty; we should have a lot less
stupidity and mistakes in the world.
Why, you learn diplomacy, tact, sym
pathy. how to be really happy—for the
time, anyway; practical insanity,
which has done half the great things
of the world; poetry, music, human
nature—in fact, love.—“Time o’ Day,”
by Doris Egerton Jones.
BROUGHT ACTION TO AN END
Appearance of the “Deceased" in
Chancery Court a Blow to Army
of Lawyers.
It was a suit in chancery, and there
•was a great gathering of the de
ceased’s family, quarreling, as rela
tives will, over the division of the
spoils. The lawyers engaged chuckled,
for the suit seemed likely to be pro
longed and complicated.
There were many lawyers, too, and
the judge marveled at the immensity
of the deceased man’s family as silk
and stuff rose in rapid succession, in
troducing themselves with the usual
formula: “And I, my lord, am for the
nephews, or nieces, or fifteenth cousins
removed, as the case may be, of the
deceased.” The procession seemed in
terminable, but at last It came to an
end. Then a small voice was heard
timidly saying from the back of the
court, “May I be allowed to speak, my
lord?”
There was dead silence as his lord
ship adjusted his spectacles and asked,
rather dejectedly, “Who are you?”
The answer was, to say the least,
unexpected.
“I am the deceased, my lord.” said
the modest voice from the back of the
court. That ended the action.
Quite unknown to his relatives, the
"deceased" had turned up from the
wilds of Rhodesia. Obviously a man
of humor, he must have taken a de
light in watching how “the best-laid
schemes of mice and men gang aft
agley.”
WHAT LIGHTS THE VOLCANO?
Eruptions May Be Caused by Heating
Water In the Hollows of
the Earth.
A volcano is a great hollow moun
tain. It is named for Vulcan, the
Roman god who was supposed to deal
with fire, because Are comes out of it.
A volcano has a hole at the top called
the crater, and this hole seems to lead
down into the hot interior of the earth.
The inside of the earth is always
hot, yet volcanoes are by no moans al
ways in eruption, as it is called when
they throw out fire and ashes. It
must be, then, that something happens
which sets the volcano in activity.
The possible cause may be guessed
from the location of the great vol
canoes, which, like Vesuvius, Etna and
Hecla, are near the sea.
It may be that the volcano commu
nicates with the earth under the sea,
and water passes into the hot interior
hollow and creates vast quantities of
steam or gas. This gas is formed un
der great pressure. It must get out
somewhere and so finds its way to the
crater and escapes with terrific force,
sometimes carrying huge masses of
rock high into the air.
LODGE DIRECTORY,
ROWLAND LODGE No. 594 F. & A.
M.meets every second and fourth Satur
day evenings at ?:3Q o'clock. Visiting
Masons always welcome.
C. T. Thompson, W. M.
C. A. Berry, Sec’y.
HOWARD CHAPTER, No. 122. R. A.
M.—meets every firsfand third Thurs
day evening at Masonic hall. Visiting
companions welcome.
L. F. Magee, H. P.
R. W. Beede, Secy.
HUTTIG CHAPTER No. 320, Order of
the Eastern Star, meets every first and
third Friday evening at 7:30 o’clock.
Visiting brothers and sisters welcome.
Mrs. C. A. Berry, W. M.
Mrs. L. G. Gibson, Sec’y.
HUTTIG LODGE No. 348 I. 0. 0. F.
meets every Tuesday evening. Visiting
brethern cordially invited to attend.
A. P. Holtsford, N. G.
E. L. Ware, Secy.
HUTTIG REBEKAH LODGE No. 66,
meets every Monday night at 7:30 o’clock
Visitors are invited.
Mrs. Dona Holtsford, N. G.
Mrs. May Claybaugh, Secy.
SWEET BAY CAMP No. 411 W. 0. W.
meets every first and third Saturday eve
nings. Visitors made welcome.
L. M. DeSpain, C. C.
J. C. Bridges, Clerk.
RAILROAD TIME TABLE.
St. Louis, Iron Mountain & Southern
LITTLE ROCK * MONROE RY.
South
5:25 a. m
7:55 a. m
Leaves
11:55 p. m.
. Huttig
Monroe
local. *
..-Huttig
North
... 3:23 p. m
1:00 p.m
Arrives
12:15 p. m
St. Louis, Iron Mountain & Southern
PARMERVILLE a SOUTHERN RY.
North
4:42 a. m.
5:15 a. m
South
3:54 p. i
6:20 p. -
Huttig
Farmervuie
local, t
10:15a.m. Huttig 2:25 p.m
tArrives Monday. Wednesday, and Fri
day from Monroe and goes to Farmer
ville.
^Arrives Tuesday, Thursday and Satur
day fro-n Farmerville and goes to Mon
Laughing In the Sleeve.
In ancient times the sleeves of all
outer garments were very wide and
when a person covered his face with ,
his hand there might be a Busplcionj
that he was laughing in his sleeve.
r
I Your Business Means Our Profit!
And
l Our Business Means YOUR Profit!
.
All things work hand in hand and in working together
we can accomplish much for both.
It takes long to tell, but little time to see how well we
are equipped to supply your demands.
Our sales force will take pleasure in showing you any
thing you wish to price or inspect.
* WHEN YOU WANT IT, WE HAVE IT!
3
it
WHERE QUALITY COUNTS”
§
DEALERS IN EVERYTHING Q
8
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