MR. BOWSER
lOOO
STARTS REFORM
But It Is Worse Thai th<
Evil He Would Cure
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8
By M. QUAD. Q
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1921> McClure New* pager Syndicate )
Nothing so Irritates Mr. Bowser as
to have the street peddle. go Up
and down, in front of his hmi-, v, !l
ing their wares, and, on mnn> o,•,
sions, he has gone out and ijunrroled
with them, but he l#is f1>1;, ,| ,| ,
claiming their rights, their tieeii e t
from the city permitting :luta to wi!.
The other night, as Mr. Bowser sat
reading, u vegetable poddl.t s . , ■ ■■!
at his gate and kept calling out. fur
five long minutes. He had a voice
Ike a handsaw trying to saw a
spike In two, and it must ha\ made
other people nervous. Mrs. Rower
feared that there would U> a riot, and
rlie began to drum on Hie piano, to
distract Mr. Bowser's attention It
"as in vain, however. He ro e up
with tlie exclamation:
‘lty thunder, woman, do you think
I am going to stand that?”
“He will go home, presently,” an
awered Mrs. Bowser, drumming louder
than before.
“Stop that Infernal racket! Isn’t it
bad enough to hear that fellow yell?
I am going out and kill him. He is
the one of all the ones who make
this trouble. Just listen to his
voice! Why, It would scare u baby to
death I"
•'Mr. Bowser, just wait one minute
and he will drive on."
“I won’t wait one blamed second!
I >Oh’t you come out and mix In! There
will be K"re flying around, and 1 may
also tip his wagon over and kill his
horse 1"
Mr. Bowser rushed down the hall
aud out of doors. He was bare-headed
and wore his dressing gown.'*' The
l-eddler had not moved on. He was
not going to. He sat there iu his seat
th a comfortable position, and he was
going to yell as long as he wanted to.
He saw Mr. Bowser coming out, and
he culled und lie shouted:
“1 have got them! Do you want
some string beans? They are on a
string! I have onions and potatoes
and cucumbers! I have some of the
nicest celery here that a king ever
chewed on ! Oh—oh—oh ! Come and
buy!"
Mr. Bowser came! And lie bud
ground glass in his voice, as he said:
"Look here, old feller, you want to
quit this! if you don't, I am going to
murder you!"
“Say, old party, what nils you?”
"I’ll show you what ails me! If
you holler again, there'll be blood
shed !’’
"Come, now, but I got to boiler, or
the folks won’t know I am here. You
wouldn’t have known I was here. I
Bin only making my living and you
shouldn’t object. Is It my voice you
complain of?”
"Of course I complain about it!”
answered Mr. Bowser. “It Is the wogst
voice In the United Stutes!”
‘‘I’ll tell you what Is the trouble
with my voice, Mr. Bowser, for, you
see, I know you. I was fool enough
to bet live dollars that I could put a
billiard ball In my mouth. I put it there,
hut I could not get It out again. The
doctors worked at me for two days,
and they knocked out most of my
L|
“Mr. Bowser I Have Come to Try Your
Way."
teeth. They finally had to get a stick
and punch the hall down my throat.
It Is lodged right at the base of my
throat and that’s what the trouble Is
with my tones. I know that some
folks don’t like to hear me, but what
am I to do? I have a wife and five
children to support, and you should
pity me, Instead of thirsting for my
life." «.
Mr. Bowser lost a good part of his
anger, and after a moment’s thought,
he said:
"Look here, now, I will tell you
whnt to do. There Is no need of all
this yelling. You Just come to the
house, in a quiet and decent way, and
ask If we want any of your stuff. If
we do, we will buy it and so will other
people. We must have reform In this
thing, and that Is the way to bring 1t
nbout. Don’t you see yourself that
It is?”
“Why, yes, that seems a good plan,”
answered the peddler, and he drove off
without any more yelling. Mr, Bow
ser re-entered the house, to boast to
Mrs. Bowser; and, though she smiled
to herself as one who doubts, she told
lain that his plan would probabl;
work.
On the next evening at about tin
f<anie hour, there was a ring at th<
door bell. Mr. Bowser answered 1
himself, and there stood his peddlei
of the night before—the man with tin
awful voice. He was surrounded wltl
baskets of vegetables, and In almost i
whisper, he said:
Mr. Bowser, I have come to trj
your way. Do you want uny onions
i carrots, turnips, beans, peas or cu
I cumbers?”
“No, sir,” was the prompt reply.
"That Is all right, Mr. Bowser. II
I have disturbed you In any way, J
beg your pardon. Goodnight, Mr
Bowser—good-n igh t.”
“That fellow has got more sense
than I thought he had," said Mr. Bow
ser, as he returned to his paper. “This
street ought to be thankful to me for
working this great reform I”
The reform began to die almost as
soon as It was bom. There was an
other ring at the bell. Mr. Bowser
opened the door to find a second ped
“I Have Some Tomatoes as Big as
Your Fist.”
dler, and when lie had gruffly asked
what the fellow wanted, he was an
swered with:
“Mr. Bowser, I am told you don’t
like our hollering, and so we ain't go
ing to holler no more. I have called
to see if you wanted any vegetables.
I have n load of them out here, and I
warrant them fresh and sweet. Being
as the hour Is lute, and 1 want to get
home—”
"Well, you can go right home,” in
terrupted Mr. Bowser, us he slammed
the door, and lie returned to Mrs.
Bowser, muttering something about In
fernal Impudence, to which she re
plied :
‘‘Don’t be so Impatient; your reform
seems to be working.”
In about 15 minutes there was a
third ring and a third peddler stood
at the door and softly said:
“Mr. Bowser, are you In want of
some nice veget*bles? I have some
beauties out here, and there Is a bar
gain in every bunch of them. I have
some tomatoes here almost as big as
your fist, and they taste better than
oranges. If you want sugar beets—”
“I w ant you to bent it I” shouted
Mr. Bowser, “and don’t you ever come
here again!”
“Just as you say, old man," quietly
replied the peddler. “If I have put you
out any, you must pardon me.”
When Mr. Bowser returned to the
sitting room this time, he found Mrs.
Bowser trying hard to keep a sober
face, and he shouted at her:
“Oh, it’s very funny. Is It? Well, I’ll
show you whether it's funny or not!
If another peddler colls, he shall die
right on our door step 1”
No other peddler called. After a
lapse of a few minutes the telephone
bell rang, and Mr. Bowser responded
with a "hello" to hear a voice saying:
"Mr. Bowser, I beg your pardon for
disturbing you. I)o you want some
string beans for your dinner tomor
row? I have other things. I have some
of the best potatoes you ever put
your tooth in, and I’ll give you a
hie bargain If von want a (mart or
two.”
“You Infernal rascal!” yelled Mr.
Bowser, ns he hung up ‘the receiver.
Within the hour there were four
more calls, and then Mr. Bowser put
on his hat and left the house, hoping
to find someone and wash his hands In
human hlo«>d.
And when he was gone. Mrs. Bowser
had the laughing hysterics.
The Graphite Industry.
In the Island of Ceylon graphite Is
found in greater abundance than in
any similar sized area In the world.
The soil and rocks of Ceylon are al
most everywhere Impregnated with
graphite, so that It may be seen cov
ering the surface In the drains after
a rain. The supply is practically in
exhaustible. The peculiarity of Cey
lon graphite is Its remarkable purity.
Another source of graphite Is Chosen,
the graphite found there being classi
fied as scaly, fibrous, .foliated and
earthy, the first two classifications
containing over 90 per cent carbon.
In China, graphite Is found in several
localities.—Scientific American.
Laugh at First Phone.
The telephone was born from the
brain of an American but 45 years
ago, the first Instrument being a sort
of crude harmonica, with a clock
spring reel, a magnet and a wire.
The first time It ‘‘talked” was on
March 10, 1870; capitalists laughed at
it and refused for several years to
finance the “scientific toy.” The pe
riod of experiment did not end until
1880 and the country’s greatest wire
system has-really existed only since
1890.
IMPROVED
ROADS
*1*
PROPER WIDTH OF HIGHWAYS
Eighteen Feet Should Be the Mini
mum, Not the Maximum on Main
Traveled Roads.
Through all the years we have been
trying to maintain from forty to sixty
foot roads in a large percentage of
our public highways when such a
width was wholly unnecessary. The
road sides have not been cared for
because they were waste land and
this lack of care has made them
spreaders of weed seed and hoy fever.
A narrower roadway, well kept, would
in most cases serve all the purposes
required, drainage and safety, says
the Successful Farming.
Now that the roads are to be hard
surfaced the tendency is to go to the
other extreme in order to save taxes
for paving. We must look ahead. If
we put down a pnving that will last
fifteen or twenty years, we must esti
mate if possible the amount and kind
of traffic it will benr at that time.
Putting the Finishing Touches on Hard
Surface Road.
If the road is dangerously narrow
now, as is the case where less than
eighteen feet is paved, what will it be
in twenty years?
Eighteen feet should be the mini
mum, not the maximum, and on main
traveled roads a greater width will
seem narrow in twenty years. In Eng
land and France the roads are paved
clear to the fences or sides of the
highways, unless a curb and sidewalk
or bicycle path is maintained between
the road and fence. Every foot is
kept in good condition. Good drainage
is as much a part of the European
highways as is the case with our city
paved streets.
We are at the beginning of motor
transport. Unless we look ahead and
provide wider pavements, we will find
the highways crowded and our pos
sible relief from railway congestion
annulled. A few dollars saved now
in narrowing our paved highways will
prove a short sighted policy.
We have already seen the folly of
constructing our canals too narrow
and locks too short. The great lakes
boats needed in Atlantic transport dur
ing the war had to be cut in two and
taken through the canals in pieces.
Ocean ships cannot reach interior ports
until the canals and locks are en
larged. This is a highway lesson to
us. Look to the future.
ROAD LEGISLATION OPPOSED
Engineers, Dairy Farmers, Fruit and
Vegetable Growers Making Vigor
ous Protests.
All industry and a great portion of
the agricultural Interests of the coun
try are up in arms against the hasty
and ill-advised legislation already en
acted by a few states and pending in
others which threatens to strangle one
of the nation's most essential indus
tries, motortruck transportation, says
a writer in an exchange.
The protests come from highway
engineers, dairy farmers, fruit and
vegetable growers, grain belt shippers,
all lines of industry and commerce and
other operators of motortrucks and
their patrons.
They say Increased license fees and
restrictive legislation have been ef
fected without sufficient investigation
and without conclusive evidence.
A sensible solution is being worked
out by the state of Illinois. The state
highway department lias under con
struction un experimental road con
taining H4 test sections, each section
differing from the others in design. *
Building in South.
A stretch of hard surfaced road in
the southern states, twenty-five miles
in length, was difficult to lie found six
years ago, whereas at present there
are uny number of hard surfaced roads
from^twenty-five to lt*0 miles In length.
Acquire Road Trees.
The state highway commission in
California lias the authority to ac
quire roadside trees along its high
ways.
Construction in India.
Highway construction is now mak
ing important und extensive strides in
various cities In India.
Traffic to the Right.
Vehicular traffic on highways in
France keeps to the right, while rail
way traffic keeps to the left.
HOW HAILSTONES ARE FORMED
According to Theory, Electrical Action
Is Responsible for Storms That
Frequently Do Damage.
Tlie formation of hail through elec
trical action, according to one theory,
Is an Interesting and even wonderful
process. Tho wind draws out a cloud
into a long, narrow strip. In that
form, owing to the great amount of
surface exposed to the air, the cloud
evaporates rapidly, producing Intense
cold.
i5ry particles of snow are then form
ed, and these, by friction with the wa
ter drops, quickly become charged with
r.egutlvo electricity. Rut the water
drops carry positive electricity, and
since negative attracts positive a film
of water is formed upon each snow
particle and Is Instantly frozen Into
a layer of thin ice.
At this thickness its outer surface
remains moist, the water not freezing
so rapidly there, whereupon the elec
trical charge changes from negative to
positive and the particle Is repelled hy
the water drops and driven to the
outer parts of the cloud.' Here the In
creased cold covers It with snow, and
friction charges It anew’ with negative
electricity.
Repulsion Is nowr once more chnnged
for attraction, and the particle rushes
hack Into the cloud, receiving upon Its
surface another film of water, which
fs turned Into a second ice layer.
Thus the growing hailstone darts
zig-zag through the cloud, piling up its
alternate layers of snow and Ice, until
gravitation gains control and sends It
with a Jingling crowd of Its fellows
spinning to the ground.
Few Fine Pearls Found.
New fine pearls are rarely found
nowadays because' the demand has
been so great and the fisheries have
been worked so continuously that the
pearls are not given* time to grow. If
a fine pearl Is bought, it Is rarely one
that has not been in the market for
tunny years and passed from one deal
er to another. Dealers today depend
to a large extent upon purchases of
pearls from collections of rajahs aud
princes in India and of old families In
Europe. They declare that every time
a large and ronlly fine peart appears
In the market n hundred wealthy per
sons bid for It. Consequently the best
pearls are beyond the reach of any hut
the wealthiest people.
Quips Which Tickle Traveler*.
Nature seems occasionally to have
been In an Impish mood of jocularity
when she was about, her work of
shaping and molding things. For In
stance, why did she make the Dalma
tian side of the Adriatic one mass of
Islands and creeks, which are just so
many hiding holes for any power that
has designs on Italy, and at the same
time lay the Adriatic seaboard of Italy
ns bare and fiat and plain as she could
plan It? Was It to make the Italian
people wide-awake and watchful and
resourceful? Besides, the modern
world In its pride must never forget
that (he peninsula produced, the
Roman.
OCEAN’S LAW MOST STRICT
Among Fishes the Important Fact of
Life Seems to Be, ‘'Est or
Be Eaten.”
In the Dublin museum n stuffed
angler fish, commonly known as a fish
ing frog, may be seen, Its stomach still
swollen by nn enormous cod which it
hud swallowed. In the stomach of
the cod were found two large herrings.
In each honing were several sprats,
while each sprat, In turn, contained o
number of tiny crustaceans, or shell
II h.
In the salt seas, It Is eat or he eaten.
The fishing frog, a fish shaped like a
gigantic legless frog, and provided with
a luminous bait which it dangles from
n long feeler over its wide mouth, luu
the most prodigious appetite. As many
us 20 iloiuulers have been found Inside
one fishing frog; another contained HO
herrings.
Each fish lias Its special prey. Pol
lack assemble in shoals and pursue
tile close formations of young cod.
They surround (lie cod. drive them to
tiie surface and devour them. Whit
ing, in similar fashion, pursue and de
vour the herring shoals, while hake
feed upon sardines.
Mackerel will eat any small fish.
They devour enormous quantities of
fry, being especially fond of young
mackerels. The John Dory's favorite
food is sprats, while rays uro not par
ticular; they will devour any fish that
come their way.
Sslf-Relianco.
Now is the time for every one who
wants work to think up something for
himself. Don’t depend upon somebody
else. The Integrity of life consists in
self-reliance. Be your own proprietor,
If It is of nothing else but an acre and
a little shop. We know the difficulty
and do not discard the sympathy. But
regard rather that Independence and
high purpose that make up the real
manhood. Men will have to work for
others while time lasts, but there is
nothing so noble In the hearts as the
aspiration to be one's own man and
direct one’s own destiny. Society is
divided in classes these days, each one
striving to outwit the other, but the
grandest class of all is the man him
self, with his own destiny In his tlsts.
With all our organized Industry, there
never was a time when individual en
terprise had a better chance than now.
If you are articulated in some great in
dustry, keep in the heart the hope that
you will be your own master some day.
—Ohio State Journal.
The Unknown Quantity.
When a thing like that happens a
man does not know exactly where lie
is or how he feels. The largeness and
the smallness of the world amaze him;
•he mystery of life bewilders him; he
is confused in (he presence of the un
known quantity. How he behaves,
what he says or does, depends entirely
upon Instincts beyond his t ,.<itThis
is what happened to Itlclnird when he
heard the voice of t’arola.—Henry
Vim Dyke.
Read
Pains
Were
Terrific
how Mrs. Albert
Gregory, of R. F. D. No.
1, Bluford, 111., got rid of
I
her Ills. ^‘During .
wa§ awfully weak . . .
My pains were terrific. I
thought I would die. The
bearing-down pains were
actually so severe I could
not stand the pressure of
my hands on the lower
fart of my stomach . . ,
simply felt as if life was
for but a short time. My
husband was worried . ..
One evening, while read
ing the Birthday Alma
nac, he came across a
case similar to mine, and
went straight for some
Cardui for me to try.
TAKE
The Woman’s Tonic
"I took it faithfully and
the results were immedi
ate,” adds Mrs. Gregory.
"I continued to get bet
ter. ail my ills left me,
and I went through . . .
with no further trouble.
My baby was fat and
strong, and myself—thank
God—am once more hale
and hearty, can walk
miles, do my work,
though 44 years old, feel
like a new person. All 1
owe to Cardui.” For
many years Cardui ha*
been found helpful in
building up the system
when run down by dis
orders peculiarto women.
Take
Cardui
J.82
The Truly Wise.
iii* who has obtained any amount
■>? knowledge is not truly wise unless
he appropriates it and can use it for.
his need.—I >r. .Tulin Brown.
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