THE
EDITED IN THE
HOME NEWS
INTEREST OF McCRORY AND WOODRUFF COUNTY
VOLUME 3.
A Hep Hazard KswlSar
J&w- Jaj Boi^las
i
M
Malloch.
(Cop^ari^hrt)
fHE coming of Now Year s
Day naturally suggests the
remarkable case of Hap
Hazard. The mother of
Happizzez Hazard had
_ aimed to give him a Bible
lame out of the ordinary, and her aim
was certainly good. It was hard to
spell, and hard to pronounce; and,
pronounced properly, it sounded very
much like a soda fountain clerk mak
ing a fizz. But the boys shortened this
unusual cognomen to “Hap.”
The Hap Hazards were married on
New Year’s Day. Hap very happily
suggesting that that would be a good
way to start the New Year right.
As New Year’s Day again approach
ed, May’s Aunt Ada, at whose house in
Columbus the Hazards were married,
thought it would be a fine idea to ask
the young couple back home to spend
their wedding anniversary. Hap and
May delightfully accepted, and wrote
that they would leave Hometown for
Columbus on the 29th. It was now
the 28th, and May decided it would be
well to begin to pack, or at least to
decide what she would wear and what
she would take. It made her rather
proud of her forehandedness.
“And, Hap,” she said, “you might go
by the depot and get the tickets, and
a couple of lowers, and everything, so
we shall be all ready to start tomor
row. That will be easy to do.”
“Gosh!” exclaimed Hap, his pipe
falling from his mouth, “easy to do?
Say, do you know’ I never thought
“Yep, it doesn’t look much like we
would get into Columbus before New
Year’s night.”
“What’s the matter?” he inquired,
suddenly sitting up, “a wreck?”
“Nope,” said the passenger, a fat
man across the aisle Hap had observed
before he fell off to slumber. “Nope,
^
“We're Golnjj to Run on Schedule Af
ter This."
it ain’t a wreck. On this gosh-dingec
road they can’t never have a wreck."
“Why not? Is it so safe?”
“No, it ain’t so safe. But they
couldn't have a collision because all
the trains run east one day and west
the next."
“That’s funny. What if you want to
get to Columbus on Wednesday?"
“Then you have to go east to Pitts
burgh on Tuesday and come west to
Columbus the next day."
Hup tried hard to figure this out,
but finally gave it up as a little deep.
“Biit," he said, “they could have a
rear-end collision, anyway.”
“No," said the stranger, “they
couldn’t nuther. Y’see,” he explained,
“every train on this road runs so much
slower than every other train, that
no train can ever overtake any other.”
“Then, if there isn’t any wreck,”
asked Hap, “what’s the trouble?”
“Well, to begin with," replied the
stranger, “the fireman %is to blame.
When we started out he didn’t figure
on how much coal he was likely to
need. Cor sequence was, we run out
of coal right in* the middle of the
■M"ui gui-unrnea ucKeisr ±ie
shoved both hands into his pockets.
“How much do you suppose they will
be? I don’t believe I have enough
money. “I know we spent a lot for
Christmas.”
Hap had $3.11, May had $6 she had
left out of her last week’s money.
There was $1.80 in the little drawer of
the kitchen cabinet, and $12 in bills
behind the picture of April Jones in
the sitting room That made $22.91;
ami Hap knew he could draw a few
hollars in advance down at the shop—
he had done it before.
He found it was too late to get low
Gls* and they missed that train any
Way> tor the time had been changed,
and the train now went through half
an hour earlier—when it was on time
“-niid this time it was. He managed
o find an upper on the slow train for
May, but he had to sit up in the smoker
himself.
Hap did not sleep very well. The
lain stopped and started and Jerked
and bumped. It must have been near
morning, after an unusually heavy Jolt,
hat Hap distinctly overheard a fellow
passenger say:
McCRORY, ARKANSAS, FRIDAY, DECEMBER 28, 1917
light.”
‘‘What did we do?”
‘‘We stopped and got some from a
farmer. He was madder than the
Sickens, too.”
“But why didn’t the engineer see to
it that the fireman had enough coal?”
“The engineer hadn’t ought to say
anything. He didn’t have enough wa
;er. It was a wonder he didn’t have
i blowup. He was just running along,
md never watching the water-guage,
md getting water whenever he could,
i)ut not knowing very far ahead when
ie could get it.”
“Well, this must be a fine crew on
this old milk train. But where was
the conductor all this time?”
“Why, the conductor didn’t know
tve was late until a fewT minutes ago
ivhen I told him. You see, he wasn’t
keeping any particular account of the
lime. He figured that we was on the
right road and that sooner or later we
tvould git there.”
“Some railroad,” thought Hap to
limself, and in a few moments fell off
o sleen asrain.
* * *
“He’s looking at you, Aunt Ada,”
jaid May.
“He’s going to be all right,” said the
Granger. “He’s coming out of it.”
“Oh, I’m so glad,” exclaimed May;
and, to the stranger, “I can’t thank you
enough for all your kindness.”
“He must have hit the arm of the
seat when that jolt threw him out,”
said the doctor. “But it is nothing se
-ious.”
By this time Hap was wide awake,
really awake. It took a little time to
untangle his thoughts for him.
“Everything’s all right, old man,”
said the stranger. “You fell out of
'he seat—you’ve got a bump on your
lead—and you were a little looney for
lAvhile. But we got you to your folks
ill right. Well, I guess I’ll be running
ilong.”
But Aunt Ada insisted that the
stranger, who was a traveling sales
man unable to get home for the holi
day, should spend New Year’s Day
ivith them instead of at the hotel,
flap was so much better that he was
ible to take a little walk that after
noon. In a stationery store he stopped
md bought a book.
1 uuw ri'jiwri azmwMJm
'He’s Looking at You, Aunt Ada,” Said
May.
The next day was New Year’s. That
morning before they went downstairs
Hap opened the package.
“I’ve been thinking,” he said to May,
“that I wasn’t so blamed looney, after
all, when I got that bump on the 1 ead.
Maybe I’ve got more sense that w..y
than this way.”
“Why, haw sou talk.I Are you—are
NUMBER 23
Dredge Boat Ready.
Mr. F. W. Beede, of Beedeville,
one of the commissioners for the
Bayou DeView Drainage District,
was in town yesterday, Thursday,
and stated that the dredge boat
for the main ditch is now almost
ready to begin work on the big
project. The hull and machinery
have already been placed on the
ground and work on the con
struction of the boat is nearing
completion. He stated that
right-of-way cutters are now
needed and labor of this kind
should see him or Coleman Bro
thers of Hickory Ridge.
Car of Mules
f|We wish to state that we will
recieve a car load of good mules
on or about Jan. 8. If you need a
good mule it will pay you to waft
and see these. W. J. Mitchell & Co.
Ady. It.
Mechanic Pete James of Co. A,
154th Infantry, 39th Div., was
called home this week from Camp
Beauregard, La., to the bedside
of his sister, Miss Ethel James
who is very ill.
Mrs. Rebie Hackett who is
taking a business course in
Draughon’s College, Little Rock,
is spending the holidays with her
sister, Mrs. W. 0. Scales, and
other relatives here and at Au
euista.
Among the soldier boys now
at Camp Beauregard, La., who
were given a four days’ leave to
visit home folks during Xmas
were Pete McMurtry, Jim Keat
ing, Jas. Chappell, Lee Caudle,
and Allen Taylor of McCrory and
DeView and Paul Darby, Rosco
Davis, Fletcher Davis and Otis
Price of Augusta.
Ready now at old prices
Fresh lots of Foley’s Honey
and Tar Compound are selling at
before-the-war prices. This puts
this wellknown cough medicine,
ready for use, in homes at less
than it costs to buy and mix the
ingredients yourself, and all the
bother and muss is avoided.
There is no better remedy for
coughs, colds, croups and lagripe.
Sold by Red Cross Drug Store.
you feeling bad again?”
“No, but I’ve been thinking that we
run our house and our household ex
penses about like they ran that rail
-oad. We aren’t keeping any account
jf what we spend, and we have just
ibout enough coal and water to keep
.is going, without knowing where we
?an get more. It’s just good luck that
ias kept us from having a wreck.
>Tow, here’s an account book, and we’re
toing to run on schedule after thlft»”