THE CRIME WAVE
tCL If
“What awful things you read of
in the papers now, don’t you? . I
simply daren’t go out without
Fido.”—London Opinion.
CANARIES AS WILD BIRDS.
The city of Norwich is famous
for its canaries’ song, beauty and
hardiness, says the London Morning
Post. They came to Norwich with
the weavers of Flanders, banished
from home by the Spaniards and
ever since, the exiles’ descendants,
now mostly bootmakers, mustard
millers and steel workers, have been
canary’ lovers and fanciers, almost
to a man.
In the pre-war days there were
known to be 4,000 canary breeders
in the city, and the principal deale?
informed the writer that 30,000
birds passed through his hands in a
year. This high authority was firm
ly convinced that Norwich canaries
were quite hardy enough to live as
wild birds in this country, if they
ever succeeded in making a fair start
at looking after themselves. Wild
canaries certainly would be a wel
come addition to our diminishing
songsters.
Work in Pennsylvania
Pennsylvania has 231 highway con
struction Jobs under way. These In
volve a total of 4,946,012 feet or 934.73
miles, at a cost of $51,731,523.54.
Tree* Along Highways.
California, Oregon and Washington
are establishing laws for preserving
trees along the highways as a scenic
asset.
Pains
Were
Terrific
Read how Mrs. Albert
Gregory, of R. F. D. No.
1, Biuford, 111., got rid of
her ills. “During ... I
was awfully weak . . .
My pains were terrific. I
thought I would die. The
bearing-down pains were
actually so severe I could
not stand the pressure of
my hands on the lower
part of my stomach . . .
1 simply felt as if life was
for but a short time. My
husband was worried...
One evening, while read
ing the Birthday Alma
nac, he came across a
case similar to mine, and
went straight for some
Cardui for me to try.
TAKE
CARDUI
The Woman’s Tonic
"I took it faithfully and
the results were immedi
ate," adds Mrs. Gregory.
"1 continued to get bet
ter. all my ills left me,
and I jj^nt through . . .
with do further trouble.
My baby was fat and
strong, and myself—thank
God—am once more hale
and hearty, can walk
miles, do my work,
though 44 years old, feel
like a new person. All I
owe to Cardui." For
many years Cardui has
been found helpful in
building up the system
when run down by dis
orders peculiar to women.
Take
Cardui
182
MR. BOWSER IS
RUINED
g And He Lays It AH to 0
j g Mrs. Bowser, of Course. O
3 By M. QUAD. 3
OC<XXXXXX>DOOOOOOOOCKXXXX>Oa
(©. 1S21, by McClure Newspaper Syndicate.)
■'I am u ruined man 1”
-Mr. Bowser threw away hi# news
paper and cigar as he uttered the
words. They were spoken as solemnly
as a young man speaks when he asks
a girl to be ids wife, and she tells
him to go to Texas.
Mrs. Bowser looked up, and turned
u shade paler.
“Yes, I am a ruined man, and you
are the cause of It!"
“Do you mean that you have gone
Into bankruptcy?"
“No, not exactly, but, nevertheless,
you have ruined me, financially.’’
“Can’t you pay two cents on the
dollar?”
“It Isn’t that, but you have ruined
nte by ruitdng my prospects. What am
I today? I am working my brains out,
and receiving only a small income. All
the best years of my life have passed
away, and I have not taken advantage
of the many golden opportunities held
out to me. I have been thinking
things all over, and I tell you, Mrs.
Bowser, I feel very bitter 1 If I have
to eo into bankruptcy*, it will be your
fault. If we become pnupers no one
but you will be to blame!”
“I don’t know that I have done any
thing to prevent you from getting on,”
she said In a very calm voice.
“Oh, you don’t, eh 1 Well, we will
go over the case. Some years ago I
wanted to become an apple-grower.
I got all the facts and figures und
brought them to you- Apples were
then on the rise, and have been ever
since. I saw a chance to become a
millionaire. I wanted to get a thou
sand acres of land and set out 10,000
apple trees. Each tree would have
yielded tne ten bushels of fruit, und I
would thus have had 10,000,000 bush
els to sell. I was all ready to go into
i t—w hen—w hen—’ ’
“When I figured it out,” Interrupted
Mrs. Bowser. “I figured that you
hadn't a tenth of the money to buy the
land with. You hadn’t the tenth of
the cash to buy the trees with. You
couldn’t have paid the men for setting
them out. It was simply a wild dream
of yours."
“Never mind the wild dreamsaid
Mr. Bowser, with’a wave of his hand.
“What you term a bad dream may turn
out a golden dream. I wanted to go
Into peach brandy. It had Just been
discovered, and was taken up every
where. Whisky, gin, rum, beer and
all other drinks were giving way to
peach brandy. Even the President of
the United States kept his bottle. My
aim was to get a corner on the peach
crop of the United States for five
years. There would be millions of
bushels. There would be millions of
barrels of peach brandy. I would put
the price up, and hold It there. The
pai>ers would have given me the name
of ‘Peach Brandy Bowser,’ and you
would have come In to share my fame,
but no—no—no! Y’ou must get out
pencil and paper and do some figur
ing! By that figuring you cost me
millions!”
“Yes, I remember,” answered Mrs.
Bowser. “You had about $5,000 at the
r
i rrrr
“You Have Ruined Me, Financially!’’
time. You had need of about Sj5,0QQ,
<>00. I simply asked you where you
"ere going to get the money from,
and you got' mad and went out for a
walk.”
“Never mind the madness nor the
money, Mrs. Bowser! I nm sure I
could have pushed through in some
"'ay. and been reveling in my gold at
tlds moment. Other men have raised
$5,000,000, and why shouldn’t I? And
there was the potato case: 1’otatoes
were high and going higher. It need
ed no figuring to show that they would
come to $3 a bushel. Potatoes could
lie raised at 50 cents a bushel and, by
selling at $3 a bushel, why, n man
could have arranged to raise 3,000,000
bushels a year, and that would have
given me a clean profit of over $7,000,
000. Didn’t you stop me from going
Into this scheme?”
“Why," answered Mrs. Bowser, “I
figured that you couldn't raise 30 bush
els a year. You had no land, you see.
You had no capital to use. As a mat
ter of fact, potatoes are cheaper
now than they were then. Men have
thought that they could make dia
monds out of jiebbles, but they have
Dovef succeeded yet.”
“Never mind the men and the peb*
bles,” continued Mr. Bowser. “You
have ruined me, and, of course, you
are trying to find excuses, but I sliull
hold you guilty I I could have made
three or four million dollars in ba
con, but you must get out pencil
and paper and show me that I couldn’t.
Hogs were then very cheap. You
could buy a fat hog for about a dol
lur. You could cut him up and smoke
the meat and make it bring you about
ML’. Why, it was as easy as turning
your hand over, but, no—no—no again!
Yqu said I would lose everythlnlg I
put into it, and tonight you are fac
ing the fact that bacon is 50 cents
a pound, and your husband could have
been worth $20,000,000 as well as
not!”
“Mr. Bowser, what you always
lacked was capital. You had no money
to buy hogs nor to handle the meat,
and you were going into the scheme
without any experience. I advised
you not to do it, and again you got
mad and left the house. I think I
saved your bacon, if you didn’t go
Into bacon."
“Never mind my bacon, Mrs. Bow
ser ! But for you I would be able to
buy out half this town now, and it
must be a great satisfaction to you
to know it. We will take another
case. When 1 saw that war was com
ing, which was before anyone else, I
knew there would he a ereat demand
r
1
"Ten Carloads of Cucumbers."
for cucumber pickles to send to the
soldiers. I wanted to get 5,000 acres
of land and plant it all in cucumbers.
I would thus raise enough to sell to
the government at least ten carloads
of cucumbers. The government would
buy and pickle them. They would
have paid me millions of dollars.
I had everything worked out, even to
the last cucumber, but I met your op
position again. You began figuring
on the cost of the seeds, the land, the
cultivation, the gathering and selling,
and you made out that I would lose
about $10,000. Wliat was the result,
guilty woman! Why, cucumber pickles
sold for a quarter apiece, and the
government couldn’t get enough of
them at that prlice. Every soldier
wanted his pickle, morning, noon and
night, and some of them positively re
fused to fight without a pickle In their
pockets. Ah, but how can you sit there
so calm and cool, when you have
worked such black ruin!”
"You can thank me that you are not
In the poorhouso," quietly observed
Mrs. Bowser.
"Never mind the poorhouse, but
listen to me! There Is Just one
chance of my recouping myself—just
one chance. If you prevent me from
taking this chance, nothing will be left
to me but suicide. Mrs. Bowser, do
you know that horseradish is selling
at 25 cents a bottle, when It used
to sell at five? All the doctors In
the country are recommending It. It
Is found the greatest cure for many
aliments. I want to make horse
radish troches. I want to make them
by the billion. I want to flood the
whole world with them. The profit Is
200 po.r cent. Now, then, are you go
ing to oppose me?”
Mrs. Bowser could contain herself
no longer. Her laugh was almost hys
terical. Mr. Bowser looked at her and
gave up all hopes. He heard her
laughter and'knew he was ruined lor
ever. He left the house to suicide, I.at,
up to date, his body has not been
found dangling from the limb of a
soft maple shade tree.
Oils From Petroleum.
Benzoline, kerosene or coal oil, and
l>etrol or gasoline, are obtained from
petroleum by a process similar In
principle to that employed to obtain
alcohol from the fermented grain
mash. The crude petroleum Is brought
to a certain temperature, which caus
es its lighter and more volatile parts
to be driven off In the form of vapor,
which, being-collected and allowed to
condense, becomes those lighter oils
of which gasoline Is one, nnd which
made possible the engine that drives
airplanes, automobiles, tractors and
threshing machines.
Famous Violin Maker.
Joseph Guarnlerl wns a member of
a family of celebrated violin makers In
Cremona, Italy. He was active In
his work from 1690 to 1730. His violins
are usually partly identified by a stain
or sapmark In the belly running paral
lel with the finger board on either
side. They were noted for their tone
producing powers, a fact which has
stimulated the sale of spurious violins
with his forged Inscription.
Honesty.
“The baker’s boy was very fresh.
If a cake was ten cents he’d say $10.
The baker had to stop him.” “WhyT*
’Some people started to pay H.”—
Louisville Courier-Journal.
HAD A FINE TIME
7n
Cncle—Did you enjoy your
birthday party?
Jimmie—You bet!
Uncle—What little girls did you
dance with?
Jimmie—I didn’t dance. 1 had
three fights downstairs with Bill
Smith and I licked him every time.
LITTLE IRONY OF HISTORY
Odd Fact That Enemies of Children
of Israel Should Have Given
Name to Palestine.
"By a strange turn of events the
Philistines, those ancient enemies
of the Children of Israel, have suc
ceeded in giving their name to the
whole of the country for ‘Palestine/
as a historical geographer observes,
is directly derived from ‘Philis
tine/” observes the Literary Di
gest. “ ‘The territory has newer be
longed to one nation, and probably
never will/ this writer, G. A.
Smith, continues in his ‘Historical
Geography of the Holy Land’ (Lon
don), written shortly before the
war came to upset a number of pre
conceived notions along with terri
torial boundaries. Year the begin
ning of historic times it ‘lay at the
gate of Arabia and Egypt and at
the tail end of a number of small
state stretching up into Asia
Minor.’ A period of Greek influence
was followed by Roman conquest
After the success of the First cru
sade it was ruled for almost 10(
years by European princes. In spiti
of these various waves of immi
grants and conquerors ‘the essen
tial characteristics of the Jewish
people persisted/ as a writer in thf
Encyclopedia Britannica points out,
together with the idealism and high
morality of their religion.”
t-1—rr^—
CROPS ABOUT GATHERED
, Walnut Ridg-e, Nov. 7.—Ap
1 proximately 50 per cent of the
I corn and 98 per cent of the
: cotton crop in this section has
w
been gathered, according to
reports received from both
Randolph and Lawrence coun
ties.
“The Face at Your Window.”
I l
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