Vest’s Tribute to Dog
Is an Oratorical Gem
Probably no greater tribute was ever
paid to a dog than that by the late
United States Senator. George Graham
Vest, of Missouri. While many are fa
miliar with the tribute, few know any
thing of the circumstances which called
it forth. The tribute was paid in the
course of a speech before a jury long
before Vest thought of becoming a sen
- ator.
The dog in the case was a fox-hound
named Drum, owned by Charles Bur
den, who lived in Johnson couuty, Mis
souri. No fox hunt in Missouri was
. complete without Drum. But Drum
had his enemies as well as his admir
ers. He was shot by a man named
Leonidas Hornsby, with whom Burden
* was “on the outs.” Burden sued ior
damages. Originating in a justice of
the peace court, the suit was carried to
the state supreme court.
It was in the last trial of the case in
September, 1870. that Vest made his
speech. Thomas T. Crittenden, who
afterwards became governor, and Fran
cis Marion Cockrell, who later b-came
a United States senator, opened fur the
defendant, making eloquent speeches.
Vest, then little known, had taken
small part in the trial, and the pros
pecis for a verdict for Drum looked
blue when Vest arose. When he fin
ished there were tears in the eyes of
the jurors, aDd even of the judge him
self. Drum won hands down. Vest
made virtually no reference to the evi
dence in the case, but confined himself
to a tribute to the dog. He seemed to
recall from history all the instances
where dogs had displayed intelligence
and fidelity to man. In conclusion he
used these words:
^■Gentlemen'of the jury: The best
friend a man has in the world may
turn against him and become his
enemy. His son and daughter, that he
has reared with loving care, may be
• come ungrateful, Those who are Dear
est and dearest to us. those with whom
we trust our bapptoess and our good
name, may become traitors to their
faith. The money that a man has he
may lose. It flies away from him when
i he mav need it most. Man’s reputa
tion mav be sacrificed in a moment of
ill-considered action. The people who
are prone to fall upon their knees and
‘ do us honor when success is with us
may be the first to throw the stone of
j malice when failure settles its cloud
upon our heads. The one absolutely
unselfish friend man may have in this
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selfish world, the one that never de
serts him, the one that never proves
unfaithful or treacherous, is the dog.
“Gentlemen of the Jury: A man’s
dog stands by him in prosperity and
poverty, in health and sickness. He
will sleep upon the cold ground, when
the wintry winds blow and the snow
drives fiercely, if only he may be near
his master’s side. He will lick the
wounds and sores that come in encoun
ter with the roughness of the world.
He guards the sleep of his pauper mas
ter as if he were a prioee.
“When all other friends desert, he
remains. When riches take wings and
reputation falls to pieces, be is as con
stant in his love as the sun in its jour
ney through the heavens. If fortune
drives the master forth an outcast into
the world, friendless and homeless, the
faithful dog asks no higher privilege
than that of accompanying him to
guard him against danger, to fight
against his enemies, and when the last
scene of all comes, and death takes his
master in its embrace, and his body is
laid away in the cold ground, no matter
if all other friends pursue their way,
there by his graveside will *he noble
dog be found, his bead between bis
paws aod his eyes sad, but open in
alert watchfulness, faithful and true
even to dea h.”
Novelist Sinclair Lewis said at a din
ner party:
“The denizen of the prairies loves
his endless plains. A man from Jerol
omon, a settlement in tbe very heart of
the prairie lands of Missouri, went to
Switzerland last summer, and on his
return to Jerolomon his pastor asked
him:
“ ‘Well, Peleg, what did you think of
Switzerland?’
“To tell you the truth, Doc,’ the
traveler answered, ‘I didn’t think
nothin’of it. Ye couldn’t see a thing
fer the dum mountings ’ ”
The late Alexander Graham Bell had
no fondness for Wall street.
“Wall street,” he once said at a din
ner, “reminds me of the milk trade.
“A poor man entered a milk dealer’s
shop and said:
*• ‘How much is vour milk?’
“ ‘Fifteen cents a quart,’ said the
sales girl.
“ 'Haven’t you got any at 12 cents a
quart?’ asked the man.
“ ‘No, we haven’t,’ said the girl, ‘but
we can make you some.’ ”
“JLoak here. Bogus,” as'std Ooionel
White. “Do you happen to know
where Ink Judson is just now?”
“Yassah! Yassah! Sho’ does, sah,”
replied Brother Bogus. “He’s asleep
dis minute over dar in de shade of de
lumber yahd lookin’ for a . job, sah.”
—Country Gentleman.
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Beefsteak Wins Honors
as Choice College Dish
Bethlehem, Pa.—To make college
students happy, leed them beefsteak
three tunes a day,” says George B.
Matthews,, known to Lehigh University
studenbs as “King” Matthews.
Mr. Matthews, who is rounding out
17 years as director of the Lehigh uni
versity commons dining hail, says col
lege men want hearty food and plenty
of it.
“They're all used to ‘mi's1 cooking, ”
he says, “and they want the tbiogs she
gave them when they get to college. I
guess mothers must specialize on beef
steak. Students like beefsteak, aspar
agus, strawberries, anything that is
pensive. The,more it costs the better
they like it.”
Ole Olson had been working as an
eogine wiper, and his boss, a thrifty
man. had been coaching him for promo
tion to fireman with such advice as:
‘•Now, Ole, don’t waste a drop of
oil—that costs money. And don’t waste
the waste, either—that’s getting _ ex
pensive, too.”
When Ole went up to be questioned
on his eligibility for a fireman he was
askea:
“Suppose you are on your engine on
a single track. You go ’rouod a curve
and see rushing towards you an -ex
press W’hat would you do?”
To which Ole replied:
*T grab the oil can; I grab the
waste—and I y ump.” — Everybody s
Magazine._
Representative Edmonds was talking
to a Philadelphia reporter about hi
bill to deport aliens who participate in
labor conflicts,
“Too many aliens,” Mr. Edmonds
concluded, “take a cynical and false
view of us and of our institutions. They
remind me of that cynical story about
the flappers.
“The first flapper, you know, said: ;
“ I caught father kissing the gov
erness last night.’
“ ‘Hurray!’ said the second flapper.
‘You’re just the girl I’ve been looking
for. Lend me a ten-spot.’”
A trainer says an ape tires of any
thing when it becomes accustomed to
it. There may be something in that
Darwin theory.—Syracuse Post-Stand
arn.
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