191 KUSKO TIMES
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Takotna, Alaska, April 18, 1931.
PRESS SQUIBS.
Well, the bandit business seems to
ba holding up.—Ohio State Journal.
The return of prosperity will, in a
manner of speaking, upset the apple
cart.—Arkansas Gazette.
It is said that many modern novel
ists write entirey for their own plea
sure. We gladly accept their ex
planation.—Punch.
There are archdukes and grand
dukes all over Europe now, but the
jkhooting of one of them would never
start another war.—St. Louis Globe
Democrat.
Now people are suggesting that
Will Rogers run for president. And
we always thought that Will was one
man without enemies.—Judge.
A “lame duck" doesn’t use a crutch
or anything. That isn’t where the
lameness is.—Everett Herald.
It might be remarked in passing
that the world is bossed by men who
coudn’t even work a ninth grade al
gebra problem.—Publishers Syndi
cate.
Ah, well; there also seems to be
considerable indulgence in other
things prohibited several thousand
years longer.—Sumter (S. C.) Item.
A doctor says he often wonders
just how much sleep a man realy
wants. Just another five minutes!—
Pat-sing Show.
Some of the prominent Democrats
are getting ready to have harmony,
«ven if they are compeled to punch
r
somebody in the nose te get it*—In
dian&pois News.
Well, if those smart young fellows
keep removing the bunk, pretty soon
there’ll be no place for a biographer
to ie comfortably.—Boston Herald.
Scientist finds that the radio voice
is weaker when the moon is at full—
a hitherto unexpected beauty of
moonlight.—Arkansas Gazette.
Another puzzling thing is why the
speed cop, after winning a jolly race,
always seems so mad about it.—Al
toona Tribune.
Another thing the country needs
even more than a good 5-cent cigar
is a burning issue that wil produce
ight instead of heat.—Louisvie Times.
“The word is so full of a number of
things, I’m sure we should all be as
happy as kings,” wasn’t written by
Alfonso of Spain.—Louisville Times.
Prohibition may not have made it
much harder to get a drink, some
places; but it has made it much
harder to drink it.—Tampa Times.
To some of the shoe repair men
who recently met here in convention
it seemed as if Chicago’s political
conscience needed to be souled and
healed.—Chicago Daily News.
Until Einstein makes up his mind
whether the universe is static or dy
namic, we are maintaining as best
we can the attitude of the mental in
nocent bystander.—Detroit News.
American movie theaters are now
being established in darkest Africa.
We can remember way back when the
big idea was to civilize the darkest
Africans.—New York Evening Post.
The Supreme Court has upheld the
liuor law again. The country is pret
ty well convinced, now, as to the
quality of the law. But something
shoud be done about the iquor.—To
peka State Journal.
A1 Capone has worn blue, gray,
brown and green on four appearances
in court, but the public is eager to
see him in stripes.—Indianapolis Star.
There should be a dandy opening
25 or 30 years hence for an enter
prising group of young writers to go
to work rebunking history.—Detroit
News.
A prohibitionist says the Govern
ment’s new system of treating alco
hol is neither immoral nor illegal. No,
it’s simply a matter of bad taste.—
Southern Lumberman.
Eggs are so cheap that a man still
pays 15 cents for one shaken up by
a dapper youth in a little milk, which
is so cheap that a man pays 15 cents
for a glassfu with an egg in itr—Bos
ton Herald.
Dr. Millikan, the scientist, baa re
sumed his experiments in California
to determine the speed of light. All
we know is that it usually gets here
too soon in the morning.—New York
Evening Post.
The Department of Agriculture’s
announcement that there are more
sheep in the country than ever before
is another item of information which
Wall Street had already discounted.—
Virginian-Pilot.
Engish Phonetics.
William W. Wheeler; advertising
manager of the local telephone com
pany, tells about the Londoner speak
- - :auoqd joao 3ui
‘Yaws, this is Mr. ’Arrison speak
ing. Cawn’t yer 'ear? ’Arrison. ’Ar
rison! Haitch, hay, two hars, a hi,
a hess, a ho, and a hen!”-—Ex.
Hyde—Too bad about Blaine going
blind. Whit will he do for a living?
Seek—Oh, he’s in Chicago now—on
the polka force.
ALASKA'S NAMED AND BEST
KNOWN MOUNTAIN PEAK!
Following are the named and be*
known mountain peaks in .Alaska a:
10,000 feet or over, .as compiled bj
compiled by the United .States Da
partment of the Interior:
Mountains. Feet
Alverstone- 14,500
Anderson . 10,770
Augusta —..- 14,070
Bear __._14,850
Bertha . 10,182
Big Mountain-10,992
j Blackburn . 16,140
j Bona - 16,420
Browne Tower-11,000
Castle Peak_10,514
Cook _ 13,760
Crillon__ .12,727
| Deborah _ 12,540
t Drum - 12,002
! Fairweather - 15,300
j Florence - 11,610
Foraker . 17,000
j George - 10,000
i Gerdine.. 12,600
j Goode - 10,000
Haydon Peak -11,920
Hayes .. 13,740
Hess - 12,030
Howard - 14,950
The Hump - 12,900
Hunter. 14,860
Huxley .. 12,560
*Uiamna ..•- 10,085
Jarvis . 12J230
Karstens Ridge_10,400
Kates Needle . 10,002
La Perouse . 10,750
Lituya . 10,760
Lodge .. 10/530
Logan (Canada) _ 19,850
McKinley . 20,300
Natazhat . 13,441
Quincy Adams - ....15,360
Regal - 13,400
•Redoubt . 10,200
Riggs —. 11,783
! Russell . 11,600
■ Sanford .. 16,206
Marcus Baker _ 13,250
St. Elias . 18,008
Seattle —. 10,070
•Spurr -. 11,050
Sulzer . 10^920
Tittmann . 11,000
Torbert . 10,600
Vancouver ._. 15,700
Watson —- 12,495
Waxell Ridge -..— 10,200
•Wrangel .— 14,005
•Volcano.
Poor Sailnifling.
de (Olson, trackwalker, was testi
fying after a head-on collision.
“You say,” thundered the attorney,
“at 10 o'clock that night you were
walking up toward Sevenmile Cross-'
ing and saw Number 7 coming down
the track Mb 60 miles an hour?”
“Yah!” said (Ole.
'“And you looked :behind you aal
saw Number 5 coming up the traikat
60 miles an hour?”
“Yah,” said Ole.
“Well, what did you do theiiTT '
“Aye gat off the track.”
“Well, but then what did. you doT”
“Well, Aye say to myself, THs bane
hel of ’a way to rbn a railroadVV—Ex
OM Age Pensions for [DeIaware.'
Delaware is the latest state.to pass
an old-age pension law.- It provides
an allowance of |5 to |2frC«neath]y
for all indigent persons over 66,-.who
have lived in the state .five years.aad
in the U. S. A. 15 year a. Payments
are to -be made from an annual ap
propriation of 1200,000 from the
state treasury.
Delaware has had old*age pennons
for t|e last .14 months,'-but they were
paid, not by .the state, but by .one of
its wealthy men, Alfred du Pont. The
number of pensioners drawing on du
Pont’s bounty was approximatey
1,400.
“It’s time to get dog license* again.
You keep a dog, don’t.you?”
“No. If wo hear a noise in the
night,: wev bark ourselves.’^—Koyal
Arcanum Bulletin. ..
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