&J)t 0mig JVIa^kmx
L. 8. KELLER Publisher .... ESTABLISHED 1898
Oldest Dally la Alaska ..... Official City Paper
Admitted ti Secoud-clasa mall matter as a Daily newspaper July 3,
189S, And tutored as Second-class mail matter, as a trl-weekly August 26,
1920, according to the postal requirements.
TIM Dally Alaskan narges (or all publications not solicited, which
Include* all notice#, other than churches, or charitable societies.
SUBSCRIPTION* RATES
Un« month by mall.. ? .75
One montb by carrier 1.00
Three months by mall 2.25
Six months by mall.... 4.50
Ons ysar by mall , 9.00
Subscriptions and AdrcrtJsmcnU Received by
Bennett New* Company Whltehorse, Y.T. I
W. GJdeoa » Carcross, Y.T. |
C. & Eilinaa Atlln. B.C.
(TRUING THE DOI'ESTKKS
Under the Civil Sundry Act on March 4. 1921, much of the bunk of I
government departments will be eliminated. Probably more of It be De
cember 31. The pre9S, of course, will be greatly distressed over this cir-'
cumstance. Papers will miss the old familiar "bulletins." They will seek I
in Tain for great gobs of petty propaganda that carried about as much news ]
as could be found In the hull of a peanut.
Assuredly many tears will be shed over Ihe announcement of the de- j
partment of agriculture that "the clip sheet will be suspended." For many
years that clip sheet has been a wonderful and illuminating script. Some
times it even had a raisin In it.
It is with a great deal of reluctance that papers forego the exquisite
pleasure of rambling through the myriad pages of departmental dope and
I olittcal promotion camouflaged as "news matter." This carried the usual]
stern reminder that "If the release date is violated the paper will be strick-|
en from our mailing list." I
Then came the census unit with its voluminous statistical stuff, the
l
postofflce department—which never pays for anything—and another good J
offender, old civil service. This combination came under the hard-boiled
schedule of discriminating cheap publicity. The civil service has endeaver
ed recently to assume something of the practice it usually preaches, and oc
casionally pays for something. The department of agriculture and so-call
ed farm bureaus and extension departments are flagrant abusers of the
iple. bu all of them combined did not insult public intelligence at
Jpubllc cost, in the least ratio composed to the insipid Creel bureau of in
formation existing during the war. Other class projectors of the free prop
aganda theory are the federal reserve s\>tem and the Income tax section,
and much good paper is wasted by both departments.
There are many Items involved in the shameful waste of print paper
and energy, and the list is almost without end.
That much of it is to be cut out by enactment is gratifying, as niuety
per cent, of it is worthless, highly expensive, and is not read.
There is some good in all of it. but the valuable matter Is so inconse
quential that the public would not appear to be compensated for the expen
diture.
It remains that a few live reporters at the capitol reduce all depart
mental things to "the meat in nut" and it appears in intelligible and suc
cinct form.
After that the balance* can be filed.
So let us jog along and print the good old gossipy Congressional Rec
ord. a few stamps and bank notes and the like, and not feel that the press
will shed more than a bucket of tears over the fact that the relentless prun
ing hook is now clipping the various departmental trees, and many of the
propaganders and propergeese will hare to chop the gossip and go to work.
—Exchange.
The Nobel peace prize was split the other day between two Scandinav
ians Kew days prior to that the Nobel dynamite works divided about a
hundred Scandinavians. Great are the works of peace. The Nobel inven
tion uf dynamite made it possible to provide trophies for those contribut
ing most to the pursuits of peacn!— Kx.
I'i It'.-ui-ss ne\^-r costs anything ''Ul
tlx? rude nam's loss.
It's so hot a iiuin il'HWti't want
a ri.n for his mont*y.
The («"it way to imike war on profit
eers Is to :imke peace.
T<»> many carpenters !,re mere!?"
carping, uot carpentering
If you dou't think home is a good
place no out ou an all-«!sty ploilc.
In fishing fur profits, the biggest
cat ill i;-es to the saue fisherman.
Only a real saint can know your
faults and not tell you ul>oiit theiu.
Man has cvmjuered the air. The
young laily at the piano next iloor
hasn't.
The news that baby carriages are
cheii[»er should mean a booiu in popu
lation.
Some people persist In buying
wildcat stock as If their b.ink rolls had
Dine lives.
The Japanese yellow peril apparent
ly has simmered down to the teunis
tournaments.
A man without a fault is like n girl
wlthoui a powder puff—there ain't
no sui-h animal.
Sjieaking of getting them coming
and going. It costs $10 to enter Poland
and $10 to get out.
One thing the public cares nothing
whatever about Is seeing any more
heat records broken.
That lecturer wh» smrlde
after tulkinir "ti "Why Worryr evi
dently decided he would not.
Wenrlnsr the pants I* no longer a
symbol »f m:'n s sovereignty, since
woman may ritle the pockets.
Thnt proposed six-hour day program
of the Japanese ship workers will
help some in the disarmament pro
gram.
HAXBONE'S KSDITATIONS
r
white Folks pahson sav
PE MAN WHUT5 'UGlOUS
IS AP' r' SE HAPPY
But ah SPEC' EF he whut
ESY CALLS SAc'UG'OUS
KE 5HO DO BE JOYFUL.'
COpyrigflt. 1921 by McOur* Nmpspf Sjrn6**t»
CHAPTER XI.
"Now. boys," announced Commodore \
Olbney, as be sat at the head of the 1
officers' mess at breakfast next inorn
lnt:. "there'll be a lot of canoes pad
dling off to visit us within the h»ur.
whatever you do. don't allow more
than two of these cannibals aboard
the schooner ut the same time. Make
'em keep their weapons In the canoes
with 'em, mid at the first sign of
trouble shoot 'era down like dogs. It
may be that these precautions ain't
necessary, but when I was here twenty
yeurs ago it was all the rage to kill a
white man and eat him. Maybe times
hus changed, but the harbor and the
coast looks just as wild and lonely as
they e\er did. and I didn't see no sign
of missionary when we dropped hook
last night. So don't take no chances."
All hands promised that they would
take extreme care, to the end that their
precious persons might remain intact,
so .Mr. (jlhney finished his cup of cof
fee at a gu p and went ou deck.
The Kamlavti aborigines were not
long in putting in an appcn wire. Kven
as Mr. lilbney came on deck half a
dozen canoe* shot out from the beach.
Mr. Cibney immediately piped all
bands on deck, armed them, and non
chalantly awaited theappr<a 'h of wnat
might or might uot turn o.n to be an
enemy.
When the flotilla was wpliln pistol
shot of the schooner Mr. tJlbney
stepped to the rail and motioned them
back. Immediately the natives ceased
paddling, and a wild-looking fellow
stood up In the forward canoe. After
the manner of his kind he Ion! all his
life soused his head in l.me-water
when making Ids savage toilette, und
as a result his shock of black hair
stood on end and bulged out like a
crowded hayrick. He was naked, of
course, and In his hand he held a huge
war club.
"That feller'd eat a rattlesnake."
ga-qied Captain Scruggs. "SI■.»■! him.
Gib. If he bats an eye."
"Shut up." said the coinmod ire, n
trifle testily; "ihal's the umul>er-oiie
nigger, who does the taikin'. Hello,
boy."
"Hello, cap'n." replied the savage,
and salaamed gravely. "You llkee buy
Chicken, buy p!j{? Maybe you say come
'board. I talk. Me very good friend
white master."
"Bless my sweet-scented soul I"
gasped the commodore. "What won't
them missionaries do next? Cut off
my ears if this nigger ain't clvili/.ed!"
He beckoned to the canoe and it shot
alongside, and Its brown crew came
climbing over the rail of the Maggie
II.
Mr. Oibney met the spokesman ut
the rail and they rubbed noses very
They Rubbed Noses Very Solemnly.
solemnly, after the manner of saluta
tion In Kandaru. Captain Scraggv
bustled forward, full of Importance.
"Interduce me. Gib." he said amiably,
and then, while Mr. Glbney favored
hlra with n sour glance, Captain
Scraggs stuck out his hand and shook
briskly with the native.
"Happy to make your acquaintance."
he said. "Scraggs Is my name, sir.
Shake hands with McGuffey, our chief
engineer. Hope you left all the folks
at home well. What'd you say your
name was?"
The Islander hadn't said his name
was anything, but he grinned n»w and
replied that It was Tahu-Tahu,
"Well, my hucko," muttered .McGuf
fey. who always drew the color line.
"I'm glad to hear that. But you ain't
the only thing that's taboo around this
pack^f. Yfiu cad' jesr cneclc tnHt war
club with the first tnate, pendln' our
bettor acquaintance. Hand It over,
you black beggar, or I'll hit you a
swat In the ear that'll hurt all your
relations. And hereafter, Scraggsy,
just keep your nigger friends to your
self. 1 ain't waxln' effusive over thli
savage, and It's agin my principle*
ever to shake hands with n colored
man. This chap's a d—d ugly cus
tomer. and you take my word for It."
Tabu-Tabu grinned again, walked to
the rail and tossed tils war club down
Into the canoe.
"Me good missionary boy" he said,
"ather hiimblv
"McGufTey. my dear boy," protested
Captain Ncr"ilon't be so doggone
rude. Vim might hurt this poor lad's
i. clin's. or course lie's only a simple
unlive nlu^er. but even a duwg haa
I'eelln.v You "
•"A-r-r-rli!' snarled McGufTey.
mi iwo belay tulkln' and snappln'
m each nther." commanded Mr. Glb
ney, "an' leave all bargainln' lo me.
This boy Is all right and we'll get
•ilong lirsi rale If you two just haul
ship and do sometliln' useful besides
bull In' In on your superior officer,
('nine along, Tabu-Tabu. Makee little
eai down in cabin. You talkee cap
tain."
"llib. my dear boy," sputtered Cap
tain Scraggs. bursting with curiosity,
following the commodore's reappear
ance on deck, "whatever's in the
wind?"
"Money—fortune," snlil .Mr. uioiiey,
solemnly.
Miiitiffpy edgPtl up and eyed the
commodore seriously. "Sure tlii're
uln't u little fightln' mixed up In it?"
he asked.
"Not « bit of It." replied Mr. Glbney.
"You're us safe on Kandavu as If you
wus In church. This Tabu kid Is sort
nf prime minister to the king, with a
heap of Influence at court. The crew
of n P.rltish cruiser stole him for a
galley police when he was a kid, and
hp pit civilized and learued to talk
English. He whs a cannibal In them
days, but the chaplain aboard showed
him how foolish it was to do such
things, and finally Tabu-Tabu got re
ligion and asked as a special favor to
be allowed to return to Kandavu to
civilize his people. As a result of
Tabu-Tabu's efforts, he tells me the
king has concluded that when he eats
a white man he's flyin" In the face of
his own interests, and most generally
a gunboat coines along In a few month-*
and shells the bush, and—well, any
how. there ain't been a barbecue on
Kandavu for ten years. It's a capital
crime to eat a man now, and punish
able by bollln' the offender alive lu
palm oil."
"Well," rumbled McGuffey, "this
Tnhu-Tabu don't look much like a
preacher. If you ask me. But how
about this black coral?"
"Oh, I've ribbed up a deal with
him," said Mr. Glbney. "lle'll see
that we get all the trade we can lug
away. We're the first vessel that's
touched here In two years, and they
have a thunde'ln' lot of stuff on haud.
Tabu's gone ashore to talk the king
Into doln' business with us. If he
consents, we'll have him and Tabu
Tabu and three or four of the sub
chiefs aboard for dinner, or else he'll
Invite us ashore for a big feed, and
we'll have to go."
"Supposln' the king don't care to
have any truck with us?" Inquired Mc
Guffey, anxiously.
"In that case, Mac," replied the
commodore with a smile, "we'll Just
naturally shell hi in out of house and
home."
"Well, then," said McGufTey, "let s
pet the guns ready. Soinethln" tells
me these people ain't to be trusted,
and I'm tellln' you right npw, Gib, I
won't sleep well tonight unless them
two quarter gatllngs and the Maxim
Vlckers rapld-flre guns Is mounted and
ready for business."
"All right, Mae," replied Mr. Gib
ney, In the tone one uses when humor
ing a baby. "Set 'em up If it'll make
you fee! more cheerful. Still, I don't
see why you want to go actin' so fool
ish over nothln'."
"Well, Gib," replied the engineer, "X
may lie crazy, but I ain't no fool, and
if there's a dead whale around the
ship. 1 can come pretty near smellln'
it. 1 tell you, Gib, that Tabu-Tabu
nicg'-r had a look in bis eye for all
the world like a cur dog Uckin' a bone.
I ain't takin' no chances. My old man
used to say: 'Bart, whatever you do,
allers have an anchor out to wind
ward." "
"By the left hind leg of the Great
Sacred Bull," snapped Captain Scraggs.
"if you ain't enough to precipitate
war."
"War," replied McGuffey, "Is my
long suit—particularly war with native
niggers. I Just natnrally crave to
punch the ear of anything darker than
a I'ortugee. Remember how I cleaned
out the police department of Panama?"
"Mount the guns If you're goln' to, ,
Mac. If not, for the love of the Lord I
don't be demorallzln' the crew with I
thin talk of war. All I ask Is that you j
Bet the (tuns after I've finished tny
business here with Taliu-Tabu. He's
been on a war vessel, and knows what
funs are, and If he saw you mountin'
them It might break up our friendly
relations. Fle'll think we don't trust
him."
"Well, we don't," replied McGuffey,
doggedly.
"Well, we do," snapped Captain
Scraggs.
There Is always something connected
with the use of that pronoun of kings
which eats like a canker at the heart
of men of the McGuffey breed. That
officer now spat on the deck. In defi
ance of the rules of his superior offi
cers. and glared at Captain Scraggs.
"Speak for yourself, you miserable
little wart." he roared. "If you In
clude me on that cannibals' vlsltln"
list, and go to cootradlctio' me agin,
I'll "
"Mac." Interrupted Mr. Glbney, an
grily. "control yourself. It's agin the
rules to have rag-chewln' and back-blt
ln' on the Maggie II. Remember our
motto: 'All for one and one for all"
"Here comes that sneakln' hushy
hended murderer back to the vessel,"
Interrupted McGuffey. "I wonder
what devilment he's up to now."
Mr. McGuffey was partly right, for In
a few minutes Tabu-Tabu came along
side, climbed aboard, and salaamed
Mr. Olhney. fearful of McGuffey's In
nhllltv to M« antipathy for
the race, beckoned Captain Scraggs
and Tabu-Tabu to follow him down
Into the cabin. Meanwhile, McGuffey
contented himself by parading liuck
ward and forward across the fo
castle head with a Mauser rifle In the
hollow of his arm and his person fair
ly bristling with pistols and cutlasses.
Whenever one of the flotilla of canoes
hove to a; a respectful distance,
showed signs of crossing an Imagi
nary deadline drawn by McGuffey, he
would point Ills rifle at them and swear
horribly. He scowled at Tabu-Tabu
when that Individual Anally emerged
MeGuffey Contented Himself by Pa.
rading Backward and Forward
Across the Fo' Castle Head.
from the conference with Mr. Gihney
and Scraggs and went over the side
to his waiting canoe.
"Well, what's In the wind this
time?" inquired MeGuffey.
"We're Invited to a big feed with
the king of Kaudavu," replied Captain
Seraggs, as happy as a boy. "Hop Into
a clean suit of clucks. Mac, and come
along. Gib's goln' to broach a little
keg of liquor and we'll make a night
of It."
"Good lord," groaned MeGuffey,
"does the man think I'm low enough
to eat with niggers?"
"Leave him to his own devices,"'
said Mr. Glbney, indulgently. "Mac's
Just as Irish as if he'd been horn In
Dublin. Instead of his old man. No
nody yet overcome the prejudice of
an Irishman so we'll uo the honors
ourself, Scraggsy, old skittles, and
leave Mac In charge of the ship."
"Mind y»u're both back at a season
able hour," warned MeGuffey. "If you
ain't, I'll suspect mischief and—sayl
Gib I Well, what's the use of talkln'
to a man with an Imagination? Only
If 1 hnve to go ashore after you two,
those Islunders'll date time from my
visit, and don't you forget It."
(Continued on Thursday)
A FULL STOCKING.
Hock—Suntn Claus apparently has
gifts to please everybody.
Rock—Yes. It seems that there Is
nothing he doesn't keep in stock. He
brought one woman of my acquaint
ance a divorce with alimony and the i
custody of the poodle."
To Cure a Cola tn One Day
Tako Grove's LAXIT1VE BROMO
QUININE tablets. The genuine bears
the signature of E. W. Grove. 30c.
THE SKAGWAY
Pioneer Dairy
H. F. SEEMAN, Prop.
M SANiTARY MILK RANCH
The largest and best con
duct ed dairy In Alaska. .
Daily shipments of pure
milk and cream to all
points on White Pass &
Yukon Koute.
Big Game Guide
Sportsmen who are interest
ed in hunting big game in the
Lower Yukon cotmtry ate in
vited to call on me. .1 have
lived for many years in the At
lin country, and can guarantee
hunting parties flno lueclmcn*.
I have a good power boat
for lake hunting and fishing. .
For Information call or ad
dress
Tom Williams
ATM.V
It. C.
MAIL BOAT
ESTEBETH
Leaves SKAGWAY every
TUESDAY at II P. M.
for
JUNEAU
Connecting with
WESTWARD STEAMERS
SOUTH BOUND
Leaves
JUNEAU on THURSDAY'S
for
TEXEKEE AND
SITKA HOT SPRIXCS
— o — o — o — o — o —
Sea KELLER BROS, for
Information, Tickets ami
Freight Rates
Don t Worry About
Your Complexion Cuticura
Will Take Care of It
If you make the Cuticura Trio your
every-day toilet preparations you
will have a clear, healthy skin, good
hair, and soft white hands. Soap to
cleanse. Ointment to heal, Talcum
to powder and perfume.
fiusplaEachTree bf Mill Ai!.lre«S'
ot.tirt..4Xpt MO. JM<.n «».*••»
where. Soap Sc. Ointment Sounds* la!eut>_-c
gifCuticuraboapUiavca without ITU;.
Order
Your
Printing
Now
I'irst class Job Printing done on
fctiort notice, ftnil our prices are very
reasonable. Take stock of your sta
tionary and office forms, and send
In your order today.
Just as a
Reminder
The monthly subscription rate or
The Alaskan Is only seventy-five
cents per month by mall, or deliver
ed to your home in Skagway for only
$1 a Month