Cow Based Economics
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.You give one to your neighbor.<p>COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.The State takes both and gives you some milk.<p>FASCISM
You have 2 cows.The State takes both and sells you some milk.<p>NAZISM
You have 2 cows.The State takes both and shoots you.<p>BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.The State takes both, shoots one, milks
the other, and then throws the milk away.<p>TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.You sell one and buy a
bull.Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.You sell them and
retire on the income.<p>ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.You sell
three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit
opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity
swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows
back, with a tax exemption for five cows.The milk rights of the six
cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company
secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all
seven cows back to your listed company.The annual report says the
company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.You sell one cow
to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine
cows.No balance sheet provided with the release.The public then buys
your bull.<p>SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.The government requires you to take
harmonica lessons.<p>AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.You sell one, and force the
other to produce the milk of four cows.Later, you hire a consultant to
analyze why the cow has dropped dead.<p>A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.You go on strike, organize a
riot, and block the roads, because youwant three cows.<p>A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.You redesign them so they are
one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the
milk.You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and
market it worldwide.<p>AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they
are.You decide to have lunch.<p>A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.You
charge the owners for storing them.<p>A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.You have 300 people milking
them.You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine
productivity.You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.<p>AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.You worship them.<p>A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.Both are mad.<p>AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.You tell
them that you have none.No-one believes you, so they bomb the <i></i> out
of you and invade your country.You still have no cows, but at least
you are now a Democracy.<p>AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.Business seems pretty
good.You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.<p>A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.The one on the left looks
very attractive.