How the Gap in the Resume of Many Working Mothers Affects Their Career
How the Gap in the Resume of Many Working Mothers Affects Their Career
Being successful at work is not the only thing that matters in lifePhoto by Anton Luzhkovsky on UnsplashAfter having my daughter, I decided to stay home because I wanted to enjoy quality time with her. I am lucky that my husband takes his dad role very seriously and wants to be part of our daughter’s life as much as possible.We are also thankful that his company gives almost three months of paternity leave and gives you the possibility to work from home whenever you’re sick.I thought that, because I work in IT, it was going to be easy going back to work. Most of the time, IT companies like to look cool and integrating. Discrimination is a word repelled in the industry but I sadly have to admit that reality told me something different.After being a stay-at-home mum for two years, I thought it was time to come back to work. But, it wasn't an easy task.Explain the GapAfter having many conversations with recruiters, to my surprise, the same question appeared over and over again:“How can you explain the gap in your resume?”The problem is that the gap in my CV was perfectly explained as maternity leave but it seems that this reason was not enough.Companies think that an employment gap in working history matters because it is supposed to raise red flags in the eyes of a potential employer. So, does it mean that maternity leave is a gap that brings "red flags"? Why?Before having my daughter, when I applied for a job, I was getting at least a call from HR to discuss the position. But after she was born, things changed, especially if I applied to startups, my application was immediately rejected.If, by chance, I was able to talk to a recruiter, questions like: “How can you explain the gap in your resume,” or “How do you think you can handle this job with kids?” were shamelessly asked.I was even told that, despite being able to perform the same job as my male counterparts, I would need to expect less salary than them.Sabbatical TimeAfter some time of being constantly rejected by many companies, I tried an experiment, instead of labeling my gap as maternity leave, I decided to label it as sabbatical time and voilà! Everything changed. I started getting replies.My experiment is mostly anecdotal and far from scientific but it seems to confirm we have the stereotype that, when a woman becomes a mother, she is going to lose interest in her career and will want to work part-time.This damages her career and being a mother is often seen as a problem by colleagues.The belief that women’s first priority is their kids is so ingrained in society that women who are able to return to work often lose leadership responsibilities they had long exercised, whether they want to step back or not.Don't get me wrong, I am sure the kids are a priority but it doesn't mean women can't still focus on their career. Many loving fathers do, so why do people think that women can't?Most of the time, women with kids that want to move up the ladder are labeled as complicated and difficult. I think, this type of discrimination is not conscious but, instead, deeply rooted in the mentality of our society.It is almost impossible for older mothers that took time off to deal with kids' schedules to return back to work. Even if it is illegal to discriminate based on age, it is very difficult to prove this type of discrimination. Most employers know the way not to give explicit statements.Other ExperiencesOut of curiosity, I asked other women about their experiences with this issue. And, of course, there was a mix of answers.There were a bunch of lucky ones that work in companies that support women at every stage of their lives. The factors that helped them were made mostly by their line manager, their company’s policies, colleagues, and more important their partner.If all of these factors don't sync, it is tough.One thing worth noting that these women mentioned, is that “getting your job back is one thing, but making a career is a completely different ball game".In some of these cases, they feel that is difficult to support their current team, in contrast to other team members who are single or don't have kids. It is very difficult choosing family time vs. the occasional drink after work.But for the rest of us, life got more complicated. I want to remark that many of the women I talked to preferred to have a private conversation to explain their issues and asked not to be named because of the fear of prejudice of society. So, for privacy, I will use fake names.In the case of Mery, the time off made a huge impact on her career, to the point where she had to change the industry and re-enter in a significantly lower position, feeling that her experience is not recognized.Now, she is back in a junior position. Still, she is optimistic and feels grateful for having a job and a very supportive family.Sophie moved countries and, after some time off, trying to get a job was not an option anymore. For her, things like overtime, 24-hour availability, month-end closings, would be a job impossible to maintain in the long run. Luckily, she was able to start her own company instead.For Melissa, the expenses for daycare were so high that it made no sense for her to start working. Her income was drastically reduced. In time, she managed to go back to work to the same position but part-time in university and with no change in salary.After leaving that job, when she applied for another job, she was explicitly told that the institution was unable to give her a higher position due to her gap in experience, despite her excellent qualifications. Instead, the successful (male) candidate had no such gap.Gabriella mentioned that moving to a different country and age are the issues for her. When the family moved countries, she expected to take some time off to enjoy her kids.But things didn't go as planned and she had to start looking for a job. Despite being very qualified and having worked in many places at the director level, she can't get interviews.Also, she is primarily responsible for her kids, so things like kids' activity schedules are on her and paying someone to help with this would significantly reduce her income.So after 50, she feels that her professional life is over but she is not ready or prepared financially for retirement. She feels that more doors are closed than open.I have the impression that companies feel they just can't afford to incorporate women that took the decision of staying at home due to the fear that the company is not the main priority in their lives.Embrace and CelebrateSociety should embrace and celebrate parenthood, but instead, women are mostly punished.There is an evident "discrimination camouflage" against mothers. Mothers that frequently face discrimination at work have, as consequence, a negative impact on their health, finances, career, and job opportunities.This is definitely a "society problem". And, as crazy as it sounds, there is a trade-off where mothers can never win.Society punishes mothers for taking their time to look after their kids and, at the same time, punish the other ones that continue with their careers, who are often branded as "bad mothers".Women should be given options if they choose to return to work. We shouldn't have to lose everything we have already accomplished, it is just not fair.Women are calling for an end to a stigma on mothers in their organizations, which is holding their careers back. But there is a constellation that needs to be aligned, so they can return back to work.Equality of RolesEquality at home is also important for a woman that wants to return to work. Having a partner that is open for discussion about sharing the responsibility of drop-offs, pick-ups, and taking care of kids when they get sick is one of the critical pillars.Getting fathers on board, in some cases, is a challenge and all the work falls on the women’s shoulders.But it shouldn't be the partner's work. Only when the society as a whole requests equal flexible work practices will real equality at home become the norm and there will be no room for discrimination.ChildcareParents are reliant upon paid childcare to enable them to both continue and progress in their careers.I still remember the tour checking out several daycares until I found a place I liked, whose staff I believed I could trust. It is very difficult for parents to find a daycare that gathers all the following qualities.Affordable: If the price of daycare is expensive and is not covered by the mum's salary, the woman will pay the price of having to stay home.Reliable: It is important for parents to find the right place to leave their kids.Available: Many times, the daycares that parents like have no spots left.Find a Company Whose Employees Share Family ValuesIf you manage to get interviewed by a company that shares your values, include policies that respect their employees' life, and promotes life-work balance, please don't let it go. It is just so important for women being able to speak the same language as their colleagues.What Can We Do to Improve This Situation?Well, let’s start by accepting that there is gender discrimination and start thinking about how we can make it better.As mothers, it is our responsibility to educate our children to not to discriminate and associate certain tasks only as feminine. If we raise a boy who believes that taking care of a baby is a woman’s task, we become part of the problem we complain so much about.We end up living in a biased society. We should all, men and women equally, raise children in a loving environment where this task is respected and recognized.The call to action is clear:We are responsible for creating environments that embrace equality and a different working model.If we are not determined to change this perspective, organizations will continue to lose female professionals from their talent pipelines and miss the opportunity of having a diverse team.We need to look for acceptance and embrace the implementation of flexible career paths that guide women at all stages in life, helping them during critical life events effectively and let them move ahead in their careers.It will only be possible with sustained and visible leadership commitment and joined with a real cultural change which will require organizations to value and promote diversity in their teams.