<story><title>Mourning loss as a remote team</title><url>https://www.sofuckingagile.com/blog/mourning-loss-as-a-remote-team</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>anonporridge</author><text>&amp;gt; I hate, hate, hate the way corps try to brush away any unpleasantness like ignoring it means it didn&amp;#x27;t happen!&lt;p&gt;I personally don&amp;#x27;t mind it. It&amp;#x27;s a good reminder that we as individuals are just replaceable cogs in the machine, that all of us are only as valuable as the productivity we can contribute in the future, and that our sense of loyalty to it should be adjusted accordingly.&lt;p&gt;Don&amp;#x27;t ever expect a corporation of any kind to act like a human or a family, because it&amp;#x27;s not, even if they try to put on a humanoid face.&lt;p&gt;Having said that, I expect more corporations will start trying to act more humanely in the face of this kind of trauma, precisely because those that don&amp;#x27;t will engender a sense of deep distrust and disloyalty from their employees, which will make them weaker in the long run. The more generations of people go through the machine and see how it really works, and teach their children the truth, the less they&amp;#x27;ll be able to take advantage of naivety. This also tends to be a reason that the powers that be want tighter control on social media, so people can&amp;#x27;t as easily share widely the truth of their lived experience that will preemptively poison the trust of others towards machines designed to use and discard people.</text></item><item><author>HeyLaughingBoy</author><text>That is the worst! I remember when a long-time team member died unexpectedly one weekend. We all learned about it at the Monday standup meeting and we luckily had the common sense to cancel the standup because no one wanted to talk.&lt;p&gt;A number of us went to the funeral and his wife told me (I had met her once before) that she was &lt;i&gt;so&lt;/i&gt; happy that his co-workers came to pay their respects. It made her feel that he had a larger impact than she knew of and it was comforting to her.&lt;p&gt;I hate, hate, hate the way corps try to brush away any unpleasantness like ignoring it means it didn&amp;#x27;t happen!</text></item><item><author>dougmwne</author><text>My partner sat in the same cube pod as someone who took their life. One day they were just gone and a crying family member came by to take away a box of things. There was no official acknowledgement of what happened, no service or memorializing, only hushed whispers. It was terrible.&lt;p&gt;Thank you for your humane response to Pete&amp;#x27;s death, for creating room for the team to grieve and official acknowledgement that it was no longer business as usual. This is one of those moments that leadership really matters. There&amp;#x27;s more to being a leader than shipping a volume of features, you are also an important figure in the lives of your team and they need you in a time of crisis.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>pizza</author><text>Once heard this in response to a discussion of an org&amp;#x27;s virtue signalling. What do you make of it, in this context?&lt;p&gt;&lt;i&gt;A man had been injured on a journey and was lying on the road, wounded. A good Samaritan saw him and helped him get up. Onlookers then retorted, &amp;quot;Well, the good Samaritan only helped him get up to signal their virtue!&amp;quot;&lt;/i&gt;</text></comment>
<story><title>Mourning loss as a remote team</title><url>https://www.sofuckingagile.com/blog/mourning-loss-as-a-remote-team</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>anonporridge</author><text>&amp;gt; I hate, hate, hate the way corps try to brush away any unpleasantness like ignoring it means it didn&amp;#x27;t happen!&lt;p&gt;I personally don&amp;#x27;t mind it. It&amp;#x27;s a good reminder that we as individuals are just replaceable cogs in the machine, that all of us are only as valuable as the productivity we can contribute in the future, and that our sense of loyalty to it should be adjusted accordingly.&lt;p&gt;Don&amp;#x27;t ever expect a corporation of any kind to act like a human or a family, because it&amp;#x27;s not, even if they try to put on a humanoid face.&lt;p&gt;Having said that, I expect more corporations will start trying to act more humanely in the face of this kind of trauma, precisely because those that don&amp;#x27;t will engender a sense of deep distrust and disloyalty from their employees, which will make them weaker in the long run. The more generations of people go through the machine and see how it really works, and teach their children the truth, the less they&amp;#x27;ll be able to take advantage of naivety. This also tends to be a reason that the powers that be want tighter control on social media, so people can&amp;#x27;t as easily share widely the truth of their lived experience that will preemptively poison the trust of others towards machines designed to use and discard people.</text></item><item><author>HeyLaughingBoy</author><text>That is the worst! I remember when a long-time team member died unexpectedly one weekend. We all learned about it at the Monday standup meeting and we luckily had the common sense to cancel the standup because no one wanted to talk.&lt;p&gt;A number of us went to the funeral and his wife told me (I had met her once before) that she was &lt;i&gt;so&lt;/i&gt; happy that his co-workers came to pay their respects. It made her feel that he had a larger impact than she knew of and it was comforting to her.&lt;p&gt;I hate, hate, hate the way corps try to brush away any unpleasantness like ignoring it means it didn&amp;#x27;t happen!</text></item><item><author>dougmwne</author><text>My partner sat in the same cube pod as someone who took their life. One day they were just gone and a crying family member came by to take away a box of things. There was no official acknowledgement of what happened, no service or memorializing, only hushed whispers. It was terrible.&lt;p&gt;Thank you for your humane response to Pete&amp;#x27;s death, for creating room for the team to grieve and official acknowledgement that it was no longer business as usual. This is one of those moments that leadership really matters. There&amp;#x27;s more to being a leader than shipping a volume of features, you are also an important figure in the lives of your team and they need you in a time of crisis.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>ajkjk</author><text>The corporation may not be kind as an entity, but it would be nice if the individual people are.</text></comment>