[Costello:] Can an alpha male lean in? Secretary of Defense Ash Carter is counting on it. But after what I witnessed, I have my doubts. There is an all-out push to recruit more women into the military. Soon, most, if not all, combat roles will be open to women. And not everyone is happy about that. So the Department of Defense recruited Sheryl Sandberg, FaceBook's COO and feminist author of "Lean In," to open a dialogue about gender bias. Sandberg delivered a speech at the Air Force Academy. I was in the audience for that speech and sat down with Sandberg after. Let's just say her message on equality was not exactly met with open minds.
[Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook Coo:] I love being here.
[Costello:] FaceBook's COO Cheryl Sandberg on stage at the Air Force Academy. Thousands of cadets, the majority young men, seemed prepared to lean in.
[Sandberg:] Women and minorities face barriers that white men don't face.
[Costello:] At times you could hear a pin drop.
[Sandberg:] And the veil of silence, pretending this doesn't exist, does not make the playing field even. For women in the military, there's a special challenge because you have to be tough enough to fit in.
[Costello:] But as Sandberg leaned in further
[Sandberg:] I have never met a man who was asked, "should you be working?" I can't tell you how many times in my life I have been asked, "should you be working?"
[Costello:] Some in the audience, both men and women, appeared uncomfortable. It came to a head after the speech in a Q&A session.
[Unidentified Male:] I feel like even the work at home is so important and it can't be underestimated. So what is the ideal balance between that? And is it more important that it's equal or that the work at home is done as well?
[Sandberg:] It's a great question and beautifully asked. The work at home is just the work at home the work at home is just as important.
[Costello:] At times the crowd reaction resounded with skepticism. After Sandberg left the stage, a cadet leader scolded his classmate's behavior.
[Unidentified Male:] We can fix this problem. We can be worthy of respect. We can hold each other accountable and love on one another and treat each right and treat the people who take their time to come and care about us right, or we can try and get our friends to laugh at us
[Costello:] I sat down with Sandberg and Air Force Secretary Deborah Lee James. That was one of the most fascinating speeches I think I've ever seen from an audience perspective because at times it seemed like you were in the lion's den, Cheryl.
[Sandberg:] I think there were people in the audience today who really believe that an equal world would be a better world, and there are people who believe that this is meritocracy and in a meritocratic system more men will naturally be at the top. And
[Costello:] Some men in the audience, though, they looked like they were physically uncomfortable during your speech.
[Sandberg:] Well, societal change and cultural change is not always uncomfortable. Here's what we know. We know that women have 5 percent of the top jobs in corporate America. We know women make up 9 percent of the generals in the U.S. military. And that's not reflective of the population.
[Costello:] It's why the armed services partnered with Sandberg to create "lean in circles" or peer to peer groups that empower women and give men a way to lean in and support their female colleagues.
[Danielle Kaufman, Air Force Cadet:] This is something we don't regularly discuss both, you know, here at the United States Air Force Academy, as well as other colleges, other universities. It's something that society needs to talk about, not only in these forums, but in our classrooms, in our dorm rooms.
[Costello:] The Air Force hopes opening a malefemale dialogue about unconscious bias will attract more women and pave the way for more female cadets to choose non-traditional roles like fighter pilots. [on camera]: Why don't they want to be pilots?
[Deborah Lee James, Secretary Of The Air Force:] I think they don't see enough role models so it's a self fulfilling profess. We don't have enough in the role who are there today and there aren't enough role models for the young ones coming up through the through the line.
[Costello:] And it doesn't help when a U.S. Congressman and former Army Ranger questions the ability of women who do find the courage to compete. Steve Russell is demanding proof that three women pioneers who graduated from the elite Army Ranger school didn't get special treatment. In a letter to Army Secretary John Mchugh, Russell wrote, quote, "The training of our combat warriors is paramount to national defense. In order to ensure that the Army retains its ability to defend the nation we must insure our readiness is not sacrificed." [on camera]: So what do you say to those men who really think that women can't handle the job.
[Sandberg:] The evidence shows otherwise. That when we have women and men in leadership roles, when we have women and men in fields, performance goes up. Similarly there isn't a job out there that women can't do. And there aren't leadership that women can't take. We just need to help them get there.
[Costello:] But how?
[Unidentified Female:] During your speech, you could hear people who weren't accepting the facts, who weren't accepting the data behind things. How do you stand up and counteract that bias and that unwillingness to open their mind?
[Sandberg:] Stereotypes are deeply they are just deeply reinforcing, and they are deeply reinforcing because of the way humans process information. The other thing to understand is that I'm not standing on this stage and saying that the white men in audience have biases that other people don't have. I want to be really clear on that. The white men have the biases all the women have and all the minorities have. We all have the same biases. There's only two options. One is that men are far, far, far more talented than women and deserve 95 percent of the top jobs, or the second is that there is systematic bias. Those are the options. Pick one.
[Costello:] OK, the good news. The incoming class at the Air Force Academy is 30 percent women. And that is impressive. It's also impressive the Air Force is willing to hold these kinds of forums. It provokes conversation and that's a good thing. One more bit of good news. I talked with General Jeffrey Snow. He's in charge of recruiting for the U.S. Army. He tells me that, last year, 17 percent of those who were recruited were women. One of the better years they've had on record. If you want to hear more about the Air Force Academy and Sheryl Sandberg, check out my op-ed on CNN.comopinion.