[Beck:] Two stories came out today are not connected in any way, shape or form or are they? First one, Dennis Kucinich has filed for articles of impeachment against Dick Cheney. The second story, scientists have discovered an earth-like planet, Gliese 581-C just outside our solar system that could possibly support human life. Here`s what I think. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, and Dennis Kucinich and Nancy Pelosi are from Gliese 581-C. I have no proof yet, but for as nuts as that might sound, it is actually easier for me to believe that insanity than it is for me to believe that these guys actually think that impeaching Dick Cheney and changing light bulbs in the Capitol building is what American voters actually elected them to do. These are not the Democrats the country voted for last November. I`m not even sure at this point that they`re earthlings. With the discovery of the new planet, is it completely crazy to think that Dennis Kucinich in real life actually looks a little more like this? Oh, I`m just saying. Still with us is comedian and host of "Identity", Penn Jillette Penn.
[Jillette:] Yes.
[Beck:] Dennis Kucinich, Midwesterner or extraterrestrial?
[Jillette:] Well, you know, they I think he may be from the Midwest.
[Beck:] But you`re not ruling you`re not ruling out that he may be from space, are you?
[Jillette:] All I`m say saying is I spend a little more time thinking about space than I do about the Midwest.
[Beck:] Sure.
[Jillette:] So I don`t know. You know, I don`t know. I mean, I think that, you know, when the Clintons always talk about this vast right-wing conspiracy, they`re 100 percent right. As soon as you`re elected to anything, there are thousands of people whose full-time job it is to bring you down. And that`s just there`s also a left-wing conspiracy. And part of your job, if you`re if you`re a Democrat is to try to bring down Republicans any way you can. And it certainly gets silly when you talk about impeachment like this.
[Beck:] All right. So, Penn, a serious question. I mean, I said yesterday on the TV show that I I think the reason why we`re so tired of hearing about the president`s poll numbers are so low or why we don`t care about Iraq anymore is because we pretty much know the answer. Americans know the answer. You either get out right now and pull these troops out immediately or you fight it with everything you have and you fight to win. And we all know people in Washington are not going to do that. They`re not going do either one of those. And so it`s like common sense is dead. How do we dig ourselves out of this hole that they have put us in?
[Jillette:] I think there`s this virus that we all believe that compromise is a good thing, and compromise is almost always a bad thing. If you`ve got two choices and you don`t know which one is right, the chances that the right answer is in the middle are almost zero. Yes, in Iraq we should either fight or we should not fight, but going in the middle is the worst choice. And TV shows really push all the time this, well, we`ve got one nut over here and one nut over here. And we all know the truth is somewhere in the middle. Often, the truth is over here or over here or over here or even over here or over here, and that`s what drives me crazy. When you deal with something like a war, going down the middle and fighting it half-assed is your worst idea.
[Beck:] I think the who was it that came out in it was Giuliani that came out today or yesterday and said that, you know, the Democrats will make us less safe. You know, I heard that and I thought, OK, not that we`re not going get hit with another 911 if, you know11, too. It is inevitable. It`s a matter of when, not if. But there is, you know, a faster way to that nightmare. But I`ve got news for you. I think the Republicans are doing the same darn thing. They`re not solving these issues. I don`t think I don`t think anybody in Washington actually wants to solve these issues because then people won`t need them. It`s like poverty, isn`t it?
[Jillette:] Well, yes. I think that once you have the war on something, you`re always talking about craziness. If you have a war, that`s one thing. The war on drugs, the war on poverty, the war on terrorism are just ways to keep people giving the government more power. Terrorism there`s no way to just fight it globally. There`s no sort of pure safety from terrorism. It`s been around forever. It will be around forever, and there are ways to to make us a little safer, but there`s no sort of total fix. So we will go forever with those wars. The war on poverty didn`t go away, even though obesity is a problem with the poor. The war on poverty still will keep going. And the war on drugs will keep going even when it seems everybody in the country smokes marijuana except me.
[Beck:] And you`re really telling me that there`s you`ve never seriously considered that James Carville is an alien?
[Jillette:] Oh!
[Beck:] Yes. And this is a man who`s never smoked dope in his life.
[Jillette:] I think that`s the kind of thing to say.
[Beck:] Penn Jillette. Thanks a lot. Comedian and host of NBC`s "Identity", Penn Jillette. We`ll be back in a second. A new planet has been discovered that could possibly sustain life. What does that mean for life as we know it on this planet? More Reese`s Pieces? I don`t really know. Plus, Governor Mike Huckabee claims he`s the only true conservative presidential candidate for `08. We`ll give him a chance to prove it. Don`t miss tonight`s "Real Story".