[Bill Press, Co-host:] Old Dan Glickman had a farm.
[Tucker Carlson, Co-host:] And on his farm he had some pie
[Press & Carlson:] E-I-E-I-O. Good evening, everybody. Welcome to Roger Ailes favorite television show. It's THE SPIN ROOM on CNN. I'm Bill Press. Thanks for joining us.
[Carlson:] And I'm Tucker Carlson. Later tonight, we'll be joined by former Agriculture Secretary Dan Glickman.
[Press:] And he'll tell us all about those pies and everything else.
[Carlson:] He certainly will. We're going to give him the pie quiz.
[Press:] Tucker, good weekend.
[Carlson:] I would say just short of fantastic.
[Press:] Same here.
[Carlson:] Glad to be back.
[Press:] Good to relax and good tonight to sit back again to sort of kick back and talk about the day's big political story.
[Carlson:] And there has been a lot going on, and we, as always, have combed our SPIN ROOM bureaus from around the globe Jakarta, Islamabad, Ougadougou and culled the most interesting news that you want to know about.
[Press:] Not to mention Des Moines. And you have the questions. We have the answers. But first, we know what your questions are. Our top "Spin of the Day": First of all, who has been a secret visitor to THE SPIN ROOM chatroom?
[Carlson:] And why is Hillary Clinton's real estate agent in such a great mood?
[Press:] Does John McCain there he is does John McCain really have his sights on 2004 already?
[Carlson:] What's the one nickname George W. Bush doesn't want you to use?
[Press:] How hard how hard is it to get your picture taken with Bill Clinton?
[Carlson:] And finally, if Jesse Ventura were a fruit, which fruit would he be?
[The Spin Room. Press:] I can't wait for that one. How about if he were a vegetable? Which vegetable would he be?
[Carlson:] Sadly, you'll have to wait until the end of the program.
[Press:] Cabbage head or...
[Carlson:] Something like I can think of a few others. OK, but first...
[Press:] We could fill a show with those.
[Carlson:] And we probably will.
[Press:] Where do we start, Tucker? Where do we start tonight?
[Carlson:] Well, we start in the future, in 2004. A number of Republicans are saying outloud the rumors are now out in the open that John McCain may run for president in 2004. Why are they saying this? Well, it's the only explanation some Republicans can find to explain the ongoing hostility between John McCain and President George W. Bush, who of course ran against one another this election. And the hostility came out in the open today in an article in "The L.A. Times," in which John Weaver, chief political strategist to John McCain, was quoted as saying this about George W. Bush. Quote: "We either have no relations on a good day or negative relations on a more routine day." They just don't like each other, Bill, it turns out.
[Press:] OK, Tucker, here's the scenario. Right? The McCain- Feingold bill passes the Senate. George Bush vetoes it. John McCain leads the override of the first Bush veto, and 2004 is off and running. I love it.
[Carlson:] You and eight other people will notice that. People are not interested in campaign finance reform. That is rule No. 1. I like John McCain. I wish he'd run again maybe in a dozen or so years, but it won't be on the back of campaign finance reform.
[Press:] Well, now let's move onto the next you know, there's something about the Clintons and office space that they just kind of can't get it right or do it low-key. Remember the flap about Bill's office space. Now the first former first lady, Senator Hillary Clinton has taken space right there you see it midtown Manhattan. She is paying $514,149 a year for her office space. Folks, that makes her office space the most expensive of any single United States senator. I think the senator from New York, Tucker, deserves to be No. 1, don't you?
[Carlson:] Jim Kennedy, who's a very nice guy, clearly did something appalling in a former life, because he's still a spokesman for the Clintons, explained today she needs the space because she has 60 volunteers handling her correspondence and constituent services. So the volunteers' accommodations are being paid for by the taxpayer. How exactly are they volunteers?
[Press:] What the story didn't point out is that if she had stayed in Daniel Moynihan's space, Daniel Moynihan's space would actually have cost $627,000. So actually, Hillary is saving taxpayers a $113,000.
[Carlson:] Or she could to move to Harlem at half price.
[Press:] We should all be we should all be grateful. Share space with Bill?
[Carlson:] You're nuts. OK. And finally now, this is sad news President George W. Bush is offline. Because of revealing laws that allow news organizations to get ahold of any e-mail sent to or from the West Wing, George W. Bush can no longer e-mail his friends. He sent a poignant e-mail to 42 of them using his personal e-mail address, which was GW94B at aol.com. He sent it to 42 friends, including golfer Ben Crenshaw, to say, sadly, I'm not going to be e-mailing you anymore. He's an isolated man.
[Press:] But you know, Tucker, I was glad to read that article, because it cleared up a mystery around here. I mean, we have all those e-mails that we just kind of couldn't quite identify, you know, where they were coming from.
[Carlson:] Yeah, the mystery e-mails.
[Press:] The mystery e-mails. You know, now I think we know. Like here's one right here that just came in the other day. "Tucker rocks; Bill sucks." That little devil, he's been sending e-mails to THE SPIN ROOM, I bet you.
[Carlson:] Oh, I thought that came from Katherine Harris.
[Press:] It could have...
[Carlson:] I think it probably did.
[Press:] All right. It is Monday. Before we move onto Senator to Agriculture Secretary Dan Glickman, it being Monday, we have to check our calendar, our special calendar called "America held hostile." You remember this administration started out with 1,461 days. Look at it, folks. Time flies. Only 1,403 days to go before we are free at last.
[Carlson:] And if we can just make a quick pronoun clarification here, when you say "our calendar," what you really mean is "my demented bitter little calendar."
[Press:] Me and my friends.
[Carlson:] OK. We will be back in just a moment with former Agriculture Secretary Dan Glickman, the funniest agriculture secretary since Earl Butz.
[Press:] At least.
[Carlson:] At least.
[Press:] And folks,
[Carlson:] At least. We'll be right back. Welcome back to THE SPIN ROOM. As usual, we've backloaded the show, so you'll have to wait until the next segment to find out about tonight's "Tailspin." Jesse Ventura recently announced that he is not a fruit. Find out which fruit he denies being...
[Press:] That's on the Web site, too.
[Carlson:] Yeah, of course, it's on the Web site. Tonight's from Linda Huey from California: "After watching you two, who treat politics astutely but humorously" you can see why we're reading this...
[Press:] Yes.
[Carlson:] ... "I feel all is well with the world. I'm an addict, and I'm not even a Canadian or a prison inmate."
[Press:] All right. That's really good. It's time for our oh, oh. Amy, thank you. Late flashing e-mail here. "Dear Tucker and Bill, finally a school child will be proud to take him or her picture with the" "with the president." GWB he's he's still e-mailing.
[Carlson:] You better file a FOIA request, Bill, and get in touch...
[Press:] I knew it was him before he even signed it. I tell you. Our guest, Dan Glickman, former agriculture secretary, good to have you here.
[Dan Glickman, Former Agriculture Secretary:] It's such a pleasure to be with you guys.
[Press:] Are you ready for this?
[Glickman:] Whatever you want.
[Carlson:] Dan Glickman, this is your life. We're going to start off with one of the highlights, at least caught on film, of your career. I think you were in the House in 1977 in government service up until two months ago but it's this moment, and I think we can get a picture of this here that many of us remember. There you are, giving a speech. See how I ducked there? One of our friends from PETA; noticed that she called you a meat pimp. Was that the last time you tangled with the vegetarians?
[Glickman:] Well, actually, I have been tangling with food protesters since I got in this job for whatever reason, whether it's my handsome body or face or whether it's because of food being such an emotional, provocative thing, I have had pies thrown at me, I have had bison guts thrown at me, I've had naked protesters throwing ungenetically modified seeds at me. They've got something...
[Carlson:] Bison guts?
[Glickman:] Yes. I had infected bison guts out in the Yellowstone Park, and I was the most assaulted member of the Clinton Cabinet. It just, you know, goes with the territory.
[Press:] I was going to say, do you put this down under the perils of public service? Is that...
[Glickman:] I kind of think that these things are good for public servants to show some humility, but they just happen; they just follow me around.
[Press:] You were agricultural secretary and you traveled around the country going to farms; what's the funniest thing you ever saw on a farm?
[Glickman:] Me, probably.
[Press:] Wait a minute; that was probably the funniest thing that they had ever seen on a farm.
[Glickman:] The truth of the matter is, is that I spent a lot of years working on farm issues in Congress and six years as secretary, but frankly, I didn't grow up on a farm. My family was in the scrap iron business which is probably nothing could be further away from actually production agriculture.
[Press:] We have to ask you this question. You served proudly with president Bill Clinton and you know, around Washington here they have these cut outs of current presidents and former presidents, and tourists can walk up and for $6 or $10 you see some of them here they can get their picture taken with Clinton with a saxophone or George W. or Laura Bush, the first lady or whatever. This week, because of the pardon scandal, the photographers nobody wants to get their picture taken any more with Bill Clinton. They have taken the Clinton cardboard cutouts not even Bill Clinton could get his picture taken with Bill Clinton.
[Glickman:] He will be back.
[Press:] Do you find this embarrassing?
[Glickman:] I think it's sad myself. I think he's a handsome guy and the pictures look nice, but I think he will be back. I think that any embarrassment will be temporary and we will see his picture up there again.
[Press:] A loyal fan.
[Carlson:] That's why I want I want to be surprised; I want to hear that Mrs. Clinton, despite all appearances, is actually a deeply funny person.
[Glickman:] Well, I can speak about myself. I'm sure she has a great sense of humor, but I can tell you this, the president had a very good sense of humor; President Clinton did, he was a very funny guy.
[Press:] When you if you saw last week, Christie Whitman was out there on global warming, she got slapped down. Colin Powell was out there on sanctions to Iraq and he got slapped down. Paul O'Neill was out on global warming and on tax cuts and he got slapped down. What it is like when you are a Cabinet member and your president rebukes you? What do you do? Do you just roll over or is there ever a point when you want say, I won't take that, I quit?
[Glickman:] First of all, it never happened to me, because I was never slapped down. I say that kind of half of...
[Press:] Never reversed on a...
[Glickman:] Not realty. I mean, the fact of the matter is but I wasn't there during the beginning of the administration where you are kind of feeling your oats and these things kind of perhaps happen early on but most of the time, you prepare, you plan and these kinds of things don't happen and I think we are seeing kind of the nervousness of the new administration, where they are not quite sure with what direction they are going in. They will make plenty of these mistakes in the short term.
[Carlson:] Now, if you are agriculture secretary, how often do you have to talk to people at ADM? Do you have a special green line, you know, where the ADM guys call you? You must have talked to them a lot.
[Glickman:] You a mean supermarket for the world?
[Carlson:] That's exactly what I mean.
[Glickman:] You know...
[Press:] Does Dwayne Andreas have your home number? Do you have his home number?
[Glickman:] No, I talk to Bob Dole more than I talk to Dwayne Andreas because that's where I get some of my humor from.
[Press:] Good source.
[Glickman:] Yeah.
[Press:] This is not a funny thing, but I noticed one our people at home e-mailed this question I have to ask you you know, Europe, with this frenzy right now over foot-and-mouth or hoof-and- mouth, whatever they call it over there. Is this a real threat to the United States?
[Glickman:] It's a threat to our livestock industry. We don't have this disease; it's a disease that largely effects cattle and sheep and hogs in Third World countries, undeveloped countries.
[Press:] England, France.
[Glickman:] Primarily, it's in England. We haven't had it for about 70 years here; doesn't hurt people, doesn't harm you. It doesn't cause a health problem, but if it gets into the livestock industry, it could be disastrous, because the livestock industry is worth several hundred billion dollars a year, so taken the steps we can take to keep it out of our country and I think we'll be successful. But in this new globalized world we live in, you can't ever be sure so, if it happens here, we have to take steps to really define those animals and get rid of them.
[Carlson:] What is the single best diet out there?
[Glickman:] Eat less. Exercise more.
[Carlson:] What is a good gimmicky diet?
[Glickman:] Well, they all work if you stay on them for a very short period of time, but the problem is, very few of them work if you try to sustain a weight loss program, because it just takes a lot of will power. I have tried every diet in the word. I have gained and lost thousands of pounds in my life.
[Press:] You yourself?
[Glickman:] Me myself. And it's now on the upside lately. We looked at the Atkins Diet and the Ornish Diet and everything else. And Americans spend billions and billions of dollars on diet books and diet programs and ways to miraculously lose weight. Most people are looking for the easy way, so that you don't have to exercise and you can eat what you want, it just doesn't work that way.
[Press:] We have all this surplus food; we are paying farmers not to grow certain crops and we got all this crop, and we pay others to put crops in storage; why don't we sell some of this surplus food we have to Cuba?
[Glickman:] Well, I actually...
[Press:] Do you think we should?
[Glickman:] I actually do believe we ought to let down the sanctions on Cuba. I mean, I don't know how long it will take; I was very much involved with President Clinton in opening the markets to China. And I'm from the Hubert Humphrey school of agriculture, which is you sell anybody anything they can't shoot back at you. Generally, tends to work pretty well. So, I think it will happen. I really do.
[Press:] Well...
[Carlson:] Before we go, our crack team of researchers discovered that apparently you like to eat...
[Press:] You have a favorite snack food.
[Carlson:] It's not peanuts or candy; it's mustard.
[Glickman:] Yes. Thank you.
[Carlson:] Is that true? You actually eat mustard?
[Glickman:] I suck on mustard whenever I can; I also suck on ketchup.
[Press:] We didn't want you to come to THE SPIN ROOM and leave empty-handed.
[Glickman:] My wife will kill me when she sees this, because I leave mustard stains all over the house.
[Carlson:] You would actually eat mustard right out of the packet?
[Glickman:] I tear open the corner. I won't do it here no, no, no, I won't do it here. I kind of suck it out. I used to do it at ball games and stuff like that. It's a good snack. It keeps your eyes open. It's what allowed me to duck very fast when that pie was thrown at me.
[Carlson:] That right there is a qualification of the agriculture secretary as far as I'm concerned. That's adventurous.
[Press:] Did Richard Nixon qualify mustard as a vegetable?
[Glickman:] No.
[Press:] Just ketchup.
[Glickman:] That was actually Reagan.
[Press:] That's right. It was Ronald Reagan.
[Glickman:] But thank you very much.
[Press:] In honor of the THE SPIN ROOM, we want...
[Glickman:] It's an honor for me to be here.
[Press:] Cut the mustard. Dan Glickman, he can still cut the mustard.
[Glickman:] Thank you very much.
[Carlson:] We will be right back with Jesse Ventura and our tailspin and tons more. We'll be right back.
[Press:] Yes, there's another Clinton pardon, well-deserved. Bill Press and Tucker Carlson in THE SPIN ROOM, folks.
[Carlson:] They were all well-deserved.
[Press:] They were.
[Carlson:] OK. It's time for our "Tailspin" moment. Now, this also pertains to Jesse Ventura. SPIN ROOM really is your one-stop shopping for Jesse Ventura news.
[Press:] Almost every night.
[Carlson:] Almost every night. You may remember from a few shows back that Vince McMahon, head of the XFL, complained about Jesse Ventura's performance. It turns out he's not only a bad governor: not a very good sportscaster either. Well, Jesse Ventura addressed this issue in a news conference today. He said, I'm not going to quit. Recalling his days as a Navy SEAL, he said that people who washed out of the SEALs, quitters, were known as bananas. Jesse Ventura said and I'm quoting now "I may take criticism for not being a quitter. But you know what? I'll always be able to look myself in the eye in the mirror and say, 'I am not a banana.'" So he has that going for him.
[Press:] Yes, he does.
[Carlson:] ... about Jesse Ventura. He is not a banana.
[Press:] He does. I look at myself in the mirror every morning and say, "I am not an artichoke."
[Carlson:] Or a tangerine.
[Press:] You know, it makes you feel...
[Carlson:] It really does. It's a way to way to buck yourself up in the a.m.
[Press:] And we do try to keep you up to date with the latest in Web sites, interesting Web sites. Here's one you may want to check out. It is CheneyHeartWatch.com. Actually, this is a spoof. It is an EKG, but it's not really Dick Cheney's EKG. They just say that this is a Web site with a finger on the pulse of the presidency. But you know, Tucker, that spoof does make me think about something. I mean, maybe...
[Carlson:] Actually, that spoof makes me nauseous.
[Press:] Well, there it is.
[Carlson:] You know, there are some things that's the information I just don't want to have.
[Press:] No, but then we could add like brain scans, although that may be dangerous.
[Carlson:] Yeah. No, I would not want to know I don't want to know any more medical information about anybody else.
[Press:] No, but I want to know what the e-mails have to say tonight.
[Carlson:] OK. Here's one addressed to me. "Oh, Tucker, you are so" there are over 22 o's here "wrong. I am very interested in campaign finance. Get your finger on the pulse," writes Patty Ecoles. So, Patty, that makes nine people you and the other eight who are interested.
[Press:] And Gail says: "Senator Clinton should have an office in New York at whatever price the real estate market deems. Please leave her alone already and let her do her job."
[Carlson:] Not a chance. Not a chance of that. Beverly Kenoble writes: "Hillary is royalty please!" exclamation point. "I thought we were the United States. And what happened to the children? She'd do better to spend a half a million dollars on a children's shelter." That's an excellent point.
[Press:] A couple of
[Carlson:] I'm not certain what that means. Is it time for our quick vote, Bill?
[Press:] It is indeed. Those who voted and the quick vote, "Is John McCain using McCain-Feingold simply as a bridge or platform for 2004?" 64 percent said of you said no, his motives are pure, and 36 percent of you said yes, in fact he is. Which gets us, Tucker, to our drum roll.
[Carlson:] "Spin of the Day," Bill.
[Press:] "Spin of the Day." Mine goes right to the very top, to the Oval Office. One thing, folks, whether we agree with his policies or not, whether we are Republican or Democrat, whether we are liberals or conservatives, we can all appreciate about George W. Bush is his gift for the English language. This man adds a new word to the language at least once a day. He did so today. Listen to George W. and listen for the new word.
[George W. Bush, President Of The United States:] The facts are that thousands of small businesses, "Hispanically" owned or otherwise, pay taxes at the highest marginal rate.
[Press:] Now, Tucker, I just want you to distinguish. There are the Hispanically owned businesses as distinguished from the "African- Americanally" owned business or the "Asian-Americanally" owned businesses, or the ones...
[Carlson:] You're prolonging this as long as possible, I know.
[Press:] ... or the ones owned by women, of course, which are the "womenly" owned businesses.
[Carlson:] Womenly owned businesses.
[Press:] Yes, and then...
[Carlson:] Womenly owned businesses. And those, of course, are my favorite kind.
[Press:] Then there are those owned by the gays, which are the "gayly" owned businesses. And I I thank you,
[G.w. Carlson:] I I find it very totally charming. He has the confidence to invent new words.
[Press:] I stopped at that Hispanically owned deli down the street on the way here. I was...
[Carlson:] Very
[Sen. Russ Feingold , Wisconsin:] The eyes of the nation are on this chamber. This group of 100 senators can prove to the public that we are the Senate that the people want us to be. But the public's patience is wearing very thin.
[Carlson:] The public's patience is wearing very thin. Well, to test that theory, I went to Capitol Hill today, and it turns out the public was, in fact, at lunch. There was virtually nobody there. There were about 80 protesters, a nice assortment. Granny D she's 91. There was John Anderson, who ran for president some time in the last century. And there was just about no one else: me and a couple of other reporters. The public doesn't care. It's sad. There are issues to be debated, but this is not the subject that sets people on fire, Bill.
[Press:] May I tell you one more time? The public is not on Capitol Hill. The public is out there.
[Carlson:] Oh.
[Press:] And the people out there...
[Carlson:] Oh, right.
[Press:] ... want campaign reform, and you are...
[Carlson:] Desperately.
[Press:] ... underestimating them, Tucker.
[Carlson:] They're at the gates, Bill.
[Press:] All right, folks. We'd like to carry on, and we will again, tomorrow night at 10:30 Eastern, 7:30 Pacific. But right now, we're going to take a break and then come back with...
[Carlson:] "SPORTS TONIGHT" and the sports people.
[Press:] Sports guys coming up.
[Carlson:] We'll be right back.
[Press:] Tucker, who's the only other bigger name in television than Press and Carlson?
[Carlson:] You have to be pretty huge. You probably have to throw chairs on the set to be bigger than we are.
[Press:] You got him. Jerry Springer...
[Carlson:] Tomorrow night, on
[The Spin Room. Press:] Tomorrow night on
[The Spin Room. Carlson:] Do not miss it. And don't miss "SPORTS TONIGHT," which comes right now with Vince Cellini.