Listen, you get through this gig any way you can.

But, all kidding aside, see if this sounds better:

Dearest Washing Machines,

From the very start, I've loved you. Truly, washboards are only good anymore as a comparison to abs; they were terrible to use. You made them obsolete, irrelevant relics of a past we were all too happy to leave. Your elegant efficiency has shrunk formerly day-long ordeals into brief unpleasantness. You make my clothes wearable again, without complaint. How could I resist your dedication and loyalty? You know my deepest secrets, and you have never betrayed a confidence.

Your beauty has helped me to be more beautiful in turn. Your generosity and industriousness are enchanting.

Please say you love me too.
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