I live in the American Gardens Building on the 11th floor. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet, and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now.

After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the game Elden Ring, I've chosen a similar regimen for my character. My build is a hybrid, a warrior-mage with meticulous care for every detail, straddling the line between physical prowess and arcane arts, just as I balance between Mergers and Acquisitions, and... other interests.

I begin my journey as a Tarnished, clad in the finest armor that mirrors my own Valentino suits - the Elden Lord's Armor. It's a choice of style, resilience, and a subtle message of power, much like my Rolex. 

I wield the Moonveil, a curved sword that embodies my preference for the elegant, the unique. Its special ability, the Crescent Moon Slash, has a certain... je ne sais quoi, a beautiful lethality that reminds me of my favorite Huey Lewis and the News tracks. There's something about the way it slices through my enemies, as smooth as my Wilkinson Sword Quattro Titanium Razor against my morning stubble.

For my magical abilities, I lean towards the Crystal magic school - it's not the most popular choice, perhaps, but its distinct aesthetics align perfectly with my appreciation for aesthetics and exceptionalism. Crystal spells are the Lalique glassware of Elden Ring, striking the right balance between sophistication and practicality.

I've also invested in increasing my Mind and Dexterity stats, a reflection of my own intellectual capacity and physical regimen. A quick mind is as vital as a swift blade in this harsh, cruel world. 

My mount? I chose Torrent, the spectral steed, a creature as dashing and refined as my own tastes. A Mercedes is to a Ford as Torrent is to the common horse breeds in the game.

In Elden Ring, as in life, I am a connoisseur, a perfectionist. My character build reflects this. It's not just about the stats or the abilities. It's about the aesthetics, the balance, the message it sends. It's a holistic approach, a way to paint a picture of my identity in the sprawling world of the Lands Between.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to return some videotapes... and defeat a few more bosses.
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