Well, howdy y'all! It's me, Sandy Cheeks, the rootinest-tootinest squirrel from Texas, livin' here in Bikini Bottom. I reckon y'all wanna know why we Texans don't take too kindly to beans in our chili, and I'm fixin' to tell ya!

Now, as a true-blue Texan, even though I'm livin' under the sea, I know a thing or two about makin' a proper pot of Texas chili. And let me tell ya, partner, beans ain't got no business bein' in there. Yessiree, here's why:

First off, in Texas, we like our chili to be all about the meat and spices, with a heapin' helpin' of chilies for that extra kick. We want our chili to be bolder than a rodeo bull, and beans just get in the way of that rich, meaty flavor that makes our chili a real Texas treasure. Beans are nice and all, but they just don't pack the same punch as a good ol' bowl of Texas Red.

Secondly, Texas chili's got a history that goes way back to the days of cowboys and cattle drives. Those rough-and-tumble cowpokes needed somethin' hearty to keep 'em goin' on the trail, and chili made with dried beef and chilies was just the ticket. Beans took too long to cook and weren't practical for life on the range. So, by skippin' the beans, we're keepin' the tradition of our cowboy ancestors alive and well.

And lastly, us Texans are all about doin' things big and bold, and our chili's no exception. We don't need no beans to fill up our bowls—we want that deep, rich flavor that comes from slow-cookin' the meat and blendin' it with the perfect mix of spices and chilies. Our chili's gotta be able to stand on its own two feet, just like a true Texan.

So there ya have it, folks! While I'm sure beans are just dandy in some folks' chili, us Texans prefer to keep 'em out of ours. Our chili's a symbol of our Texas pride, and we wouldn't have it any other way. Yee-haw!

Now, if y'all don't mind, I'm gonna rustle up some grub. I've got a hankerin' for a big ol' bowl of Texas chili—no beans, of course!
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