Physical punishment is not a method of discipline and less of education. It is a wrong practice that causes low self-esteem, depression, anguish, anxiety and negatively affects the growth and development of children.
LatinAmerican Post | Yenny Rodríguez Barajas
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Leer en español: Peligros del castigo físico en los niños
She doesn't listen to me! I tell him the good things, but he doesn't obey me! Sometimes it's the only way for them to do what I ask! These are some expressions of parents or caregivers to justify physical punishment to encourage good behavior in children.
Although it is true that sometimes the behavior of minors is very challenging, taking adults to the limit of patience and understanding; Physical punishment is never the solution to get them to fulfill their duties, obey an order or correct bad behavior. Quite the opposite. For Alejandra Moreno Porto, psychoanalyst and psychologist, children's challenging behaviors always have an origin, a reason. Just as adults have problems, good days and not so good days; boys and girls also feel vulnerable and express it in different ways.
“Adults -generally- express with words when we feel joy, anger, sadness, and frustration; but boys and girls don't always know how to explain it. They do it through their behaviors or attitudes, which are sometimes defiant, aggressive or negativistic," says the specialist.
She adds that children don't always have to be happy, just because they are children. “Physical punishment will only increase the problem and cause more damage in the short, medium and long term. Through dialogue, the reason for the behavior must be discovered. Earn trust, without shouting, without hitting, children, like any person, deserve respect and consideration.
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The dangers are multiple and long-term
According to the Colombian Institute of Family Welfare -ICFB-, physical punishment is more common than is believed and is even considered a method of discipline. Slapping, pinching, spanking, pulling ears or hair, blows with a belt or flip-flops, produce effects contrary to what is sought and negatively affect growth and development.
According to the National Survey of Violence against Boys, Girls and Adolescents in Colombia (2018), 41% of this population has suffered some type of violence. Of them, 72% have been violated in their own home. In 2020 alone, the ICBF initiated 2,482 protection processes for physical violence, this is about seven victims a day.
In the region, the figures are similar. According to research by Jorge Cuartas, a doctoral student in education and human development at Harvard University and a member of the Institute for Quantitative Social Science of the same University, "Despite the risks associated with physical punishment, it continues to be a very common method in Latin America and the Caribbean. Recently, it was found that 16.8 million children between the ages of 2 and 4 (55.2% of the total age range) received spanking and other physical corrections.
The dangers of these practices are multiple, both physical, psychological and relational. They cause atypical brain development, slower cognitive development, mental health problems, such as depression and anxiety in adolescence and adulthood; They are more aggressive, because when they are victims of violence (verbal or physical), they turn to it as a means to resolve conflicts. They will have less self-control, that is, difficulty managing their emotions and/or reactions to frustrations or losses. Furthermore, they will experience symptoms of anxiety, affect or personality disorder, and even think about suicide because they feel humiliated, belittled, ridiculed, and belittled by their own parents.
Minors "who are mistreated, in general, repeat these same behaviors. Most of them are not aware of it, even when many parents visit me in the office, they affirm that a punishment from time to time does not hurt because they were also educated with punishments and are not traumatized. But, when we analyze the different passive-aggressive behaviors with their children and even with their partners, it is detected that the origin of their behaviors is due to the mistreatment they received when they were children, which ended in their loss of self-esteem, anxiety, depression, or aggressiveness”, affirms the psychologist Alejandra Moreno Porto.
From punishment to discipline based on respect
For Adriana Sofía Silva, national deputy director of the Psychology and Families Field of the Colombian College of Psychologists, with a master's degree in psychology and systemic family therapy, “physical punishment is based on adult-centric thinking. That is, when adults and/or caregivers measure the behavior of children and adolescents from their own expectations and perspectives. They do not meet their standards, they invalidate individual differences and justify the use of any kind of forceful “correction” to achieve changes in behavior and conform to what they consider to be good children”.
To break the cycles of violence within families, it must be understood that discipline is taught by example, not imposed. The father/mother and son/daughter relationship is not one of power, where some command and others obey. “It is important to understand that children go through different processes of physical, neurobiological, emotional, psychological, and relational changes that modify their behavior, and parents must learn to be flexible in order to accompany these changes. Being flexible at no time is losing authority, on the contrary, it is maintaining healthy limits that are adjusted to changes in children and adolescents, that is authority, "said the expert.
Parents should be aware of the personal differences of each of their children and, based on this notion, promote a sense of belonging, protection and family identity. "A united family does not mean that all members are or think the same, but that they are part of a great support and impulse system so that each individual can build their own path," she explained.
Adhabu ya kimwili si njia ya nidhamu na hata kidogo ya elimu. Ni zoea lisilofaa ambalo husababisha kujidharau, kushuka moyo, uchungu, wasiwasi na huathiri vibaya ukuaji na maendeleo ya watoto. LatinAmerican Post | Yenny Rodríguez Barajas Sikiliza makala hii Soma kwa Kihispania: Hatari za adhabu ya kimwili kwa watoto Yeye haanisikii! Mimi humwambia mambo mazuri, lakini yeye hunitii! Nyakati nyingine hiyo ndiyo njia pekee ya kufanya kile ninachoomba! Hizi ni baadhi ya maneno ya wazazi au watunzaji ili kuhalalisha adhabu ya kimwili ili kuhamasisha tabia nzuri kwa watoto. Ingawa ni kweli kwamba wakati mwingine tabia ya watoto wadogo ni changamoto sana, kuchukua watu wazima hadi kikomo cha uvumilivu na uelewa; adhabu ya kimwili kamwe si suluhisho la kuwafanya watimize majukumu yao, watii amri au kurekebisha tabia mbaya. Kinyume kabisa cha hilo. Kwa Alejandra Moreno Porto, mtaalamu wa kisaikolojia na mwanasaikolojia, tabia za changamoto za watoto daima zina chanzo, sababu. Kama vile watu wazima wanavyoweza kuwa na matatizo, siku nzuri na siku mbaya, hivyo pia wavulana na wasichana hujihisi kuwa hatarini na huonyesha hali hiyo kwa njia tofauti. Watu wazima - kwa ujumla - huonyesha kwa maneno tunapohisi shangwe, hasira, huzuni, na kukata tamaa; lakini wavulana na wasichana si mara zote wanajua jinsi ya kueleza jambo hilo. Wanafanya hivyo kupitia tabia au mitazamo yao, ambayo nyakati nyingine ni ya kukataa, ya jeuri au ya kutilia shaka", asema mtaalamu huyo. Anaongeza kwamba si lazima watoto wawe na furaha sikuzote, kwa sababu tu wao ni watoto. <unk>Kihesabu cha kimwili kitaongeza tu tatizo na kusababisha uharibifu zaidi kwa muda mfupi, wa kati na wa muda mrefu. Kupitia mazungumzo, sababu ya tabia hiyo lazima igunduliwe. "Kutoka kwa maneno haya, ""Bila kupiga kelele, bila kupiga, watoto, kama mtu yeyote, wanastahili kuheshimiwa na kuangaliwa.""" "Kama ilivyoelezwa na ""Mafunzo ya Chakula cha Chakula cha Chakula cha Chakula cha Chakula cha Chakula cha Chakula cha Chakula cha Chakula cha Chakula cha Chakula cha Chakula cha Chakula cha Chakula cha Chakula cha Chakula cha Chakula cha Chakula cha Chakula cha Chakula cha Chakula cha Chakula cha Chakula cha Chakula cha Chakula cha Chakula cha Chakula cha Chakula cha Chakula cha Chakula cha Chakula cha Chakula cha Chakula cha Chakula cha Chakula.""" Kupiga makofi, kupiga makofi, kuvuta masikio au nywele, kupiga kwa mkanda au flip-flops, hutoa athari kinyume na kile kinachotafutwa na huathiri vibaya ukuaji na maendeleo. Kulingana na Uchunguzi wa Kitaifa wa Ukatili dhidi ya Wavulana, Wasichana na Vijana nchini Colombia (2018), 41% ya idadi hii ya watu wamepatwa na aina fulani ya vurugu. Kati ya hao, 72% wametendewa vibaya kimapenzi nyumbani kwao. Katika mwaka wa 2020, ICBF ilianzisha kesi 2,482 za ulinzi kwa unyanyasaji wa kimwili, hii ni karibu waathirika saba kwa siku. Katika eneo hilo, takwimu hizo ni sawa. "Jorge Cuartas, mwanafunzi wa shahada ya kwanza katika elimu na maendeleo ya binadamu katika Chuo Kikuu cha Harvard na mwanachama wa Taasisi ya Sayansi ya Jamii ya Chuo Kikuu hicho, alisema: ""Licha ya hatari zinazohusiana na adhabu ya kimwili, inaendelea kuwa njia ya kawaida sana katika Amerika ya Kusini na Karibea." Kwa mfano, ripoti ya mwaka wa 2016 ilionyesha kwamba watoto milioni 16.8 wenye umri wa miaka 2 hadi 4 (na asilimia 55.2 ya idadi ya watoto wote wenye umri wa miaka miwili) walipigwa makofi au kuadhibiwa kwa njia nyingine. Hatari za mazoea hayo ni nyingi, za kimwili, za kisaikolojia na za mahusiano. Wanafanya maendeleo ya ubongo isiyo ya kawaida, maendeleo ya utambuzi ya polepole, matatizo ya afya ya akili, kama vile unyogovu na wasiwasi katika ujana na utu mzima; Wao ni wenye fujo zaidi, kwa sababu wakati wao ni waathirika wa vurugu (maususi au kimwili), wao kugeuka kwa njia ya kutatua migogoro. Wao watakuwa na udhibiti mdogo wa kibinafsi, yaani, ugumu wa kudhibiti hisia zao na au athari za kukatishwa tamaa au hasara. Zaidi ya hayo, watapata dalili za wasiwasi, hisia au matatizo ya utu, na hata kufikiria kujiua kwa sababu wanahisi kudhalilishwa, kudharauliwa, kudhihakiwa, na kudharauliwa na wazazi wao wenyewe. Watoto "wanaotendewa vibaya, kwa ujumla, hurudia tabia hizo zilezile. Wengi wao hawajui, hata wakati wazazi wengi wanapotembelea ofisini, wanathibitisha kuwa adhabu mara kwa mara haipingi kwa sababu wao pia walifundishwa na adhabu na hawajaumia. Lakini, tunapochanganua tabia tofauti za uhasama na watoto wao na hata na washirika wao, inagunduliwa kwamba asili ya tabia zao ni kwa sababu ya unyanyasaji waliopokea walipokuwa watoto, ambao ulimalizika katika upotezaji wao wa kujithamini, wasiwasi, unyogovu, au unyogovu <unk>, anasema mwanasaikolojia Alejandra Moreno Porto. "Kutoka kwa adhabu hadi nidhamu inayotegemea heshima, Adriana Sofía Silva, msaidizi wa mkurugenzi wa kitaifa wa uwanja wa Saikolojia na Familia wa Chuo cha Saikolojia cha Colombia, na shahada ya uzamili katika saikolojia na matibabu ya familia ya mfumo, "" adhabu ya mwili inategemea kufikiri kwa watu wazima." Hii ni kwa sababu watu wazima na walezi wanaweza kupima tabia ya watoto na vijana kwa kuzingatia matarajio yao. Hawakidhi viwango vyao, wanakataa tofauti za mtu binafsi na wanahakikishia matumizi ya aina yoyote ya <unk>marekebisho<unk> ya nguvu ili kufikia mabadiliko katika tabia na kufuata kile wanachokiona kuwa watoto wazuri<unk>. Ili kuvunja mzunguko wa jeuri ndani ya familia, ni lazima ieleweke kwamba nidhamu hufundishwa kwa kielelezo, si kulazimishwa. Uhusiano kati ya baba na mama na mwana na binti si uhusiano wa nguvu, ambapo baadhi ya watu wanaamuru na wengine wanatii. Ni muhimu kuelewa kwamba watoto hupitia michakato tofauti ya mabadiliko ya kimwili, neurobiolojia, kihisia, kisaikolojia, na mahusiano ambayo hubadilisha tabia yao, na wazazi lazima wajifunze kuwa na kubadilika ili kuandamana na mabadiliko haya. "Kuwa na kubadilika wakati wowote sio kupoteza mamlaka, kinyume chake, ni kudumisha mipaka yenye afya ambayo imebadilishwa kwa mabadiliko katika watoto na vijana, ambayo ni mamlaka. """ Wazazi wanapaswa kuwa na ufahamu wa tofauti za kibinafsi za kila mmoja wa watoto wao na, kwa kuzingatia wazo hili, kukuza hisia ya kuwa na, ulinzi na utambulisho wa familia. "Kama familia iliyoungana haimaanishi kwamba wanachama wote ni au wanafikiri sawa, lakini ni sehemu ya mfumo mkubwa wa msaada na msukumo ili kila mtu aweze kujenga njia yake mwenyewe, ""alieleza."