Why the Psychology of Communication concerns you!
Psychology is the science of behavior and mental processes. When it studies communication, some of the things it wants to know are how we feel when we put our thoughts together and what behaviors we employ when we express those thoughts.
It also wants to know how the person with whom we share our thoughts reacts when they read what we write, hear what we say, or observe how we behave.
By collecting answers to these questions, the psychology of communication hopes to discover ways to improve the way we communicate so that we can work together in ways that help us reach our goals.
Unlike psychologists, our goal is usually not to find better ways to communicate when our conversations and interactions with friends and co-workers go off the rails. We’re not interested in adjusting our vocabulary or modifying our position or listening more intently .
What we normally want to know is what is wrong with other person. How could they have so completely missed our point? What kind of mental gymnastics did they perform to twist a simple question or an innocent comment into a personal insult?
The intent of our question is to fix the blame for the communication breakdown.
The assumption underlying our question is that the listener or reader reacted as they did because they misinterpreted our message.The fault lies with them, not with us.
"What insight does the Psychology of Communication reveal"?
Ordinarily we conclude their misunderstanding was due to a personal defect.
They misinterpreted our message because they were inattentive or are
hopelessly close minded, insecure, thickheaded, stupid, or genetically
What we don’t do is ask the same question of ourselves. We don’t ask ourselves what we were thinking and doing that may have contributed to the other person’s inability to understand what we were talking about.
we did ask this question, the possibility exists that some of the
responsibility for the communication breakdown may fall on us. That is
an assumption we are too often unwilling to consider.
Looking for someone to blame when communication breaks down is usually a waste of time. Engaging in the blame game often makes matters worse.
"What is another insight"?
in the psychology of communication shows that no matter how clearly we
formulate and express our thoughts, others will always interpret our
words or behavior in a way that differs from our interpretation, if only
Everyone has a background and a set of experiences unlike ours. Everything they hear or read or see gets run through those experiences so that their interpretation of events always differs from our interpretation. Moreover, their interpretation is not available to us unless they choose to share it with us.
If we want to communicate effectively, we need to assume before we communicate that our messages will not be perfectly clear to others. After we have delivered our message, we need to focus our attention on discovering how others interpret what we said or wrote. We need to ask them what they understood, then work to clarify any misunderstandings.
This kind of attention requires strong listening and attending skills.
What actions can we take?
If the reason why we communicate is always to get others to help us keep our commitments, we need to develop these skills. Otherwise they may take actions we prefer they didn’t take which will put our commitments at risk.
How much effort do you put into finding out how others understand what you have to say? What fears do you have that interfere with your ability to listen to the opinions of those who disagree with you?
How self-aware are you of your need to blame friends and co-workers for misunderstandings that come up among you?
Learn effective communication skills to help you take care of things that are important to you in your home, in the workplace, and in your business. Making clear bold promises, effective requests, and compelling offers are among the most important skills.
Kwa nini Saikolojia ya Mawasiliano inakuvutia! Saikolojia ni sayansi ya tabia na michakato ya akili. Wakati wa kujifunza mawasiliano, baadhi ya mambo ambayo inataka kujua ni jinsi tunavyohisi wakati tunaweka mawazo yetu pamoja na ni tabia gani tunazotumia wakati tunatoa mawazo hayo. Pia, inataka kujua jinsi mtu ambaye tunashirikiana naye mawazo yetu anavyotenda anaposoma kile tunachokiandika, anasikia kile tunachosema, au kuchunguza jinsi tunavyojiendesha. Kwa kukusanya majibu ya maswali haya, saikolojia ya mawasiliano inatarajia kugundua njia za kuboresha njia yetu ya kuwasiliana ili tuweze kufanya kazi pamoja kwa njia ambazo zinatusaidia kufikia malengo yetu. Tofauti na wanasaikolojia, lengo letu si kutafuta njia bora za kuwasiliana wakati mazungumzo na mwingiliano wetu na marafiki na wafanyikazi wenzetu unapotoka kwenye reli. Hatupendezwi kurekebisha msamiati wetu au kurekebisha msimamo wetu au kusikiliza kwa makini zaidi. Kwa kawaida tunataka kujua ni nini kibaya kwa mtu mwingine. Wangewezaje kupuuza kabisa jambo letu? Ni mazoezi gani ya akili waliyofanya ili kugeuza swali rahisi au maoni yasiyo na hatia kuwa matusi ya kibinafsi? Kusudi la swali letu ni kurekebisha lawama kwa ajili ya kuvunjika kwa mawasiliano. """Mtazamo wa msingi wa swali letu ni kwamba msikilizaji au msomaji aliitikia kama walivyofanya kwa sababu walifafanua vibaya ujumbe wetu, kosa liko kwao, sio kwetu." "Ujuzi gani unafunuliwa na Saikolojia ya Mawasiliano"? Kwa kawaida sisi hufikia mkataa kwamba kutoelewana kwao kulitokana na kasoro ya kibinafsi. Wameelewa vibaya ujumbe wetu kwa sababu hawakuangalia au wana akili ndogo, hawana uhakika, ni wazimu, ni wapumbavu, au kwa sababu ya chembe za urithi. Hatujiulizi nini tulikuwa tukifikiria na kufanya ambayo inaweza kuwa imechangia kutokuwa na uwezo wa mtu mwingine kuelewa kile tulikuwa tukizungumza. """Tunapouliza swali hili, kuna uwezekano kwamba baadhi ya wajibu kwa ajili ya kuvunjika kwa mawasiliano inaweza kuanguka juu yetu." Hiyo ni dhana ambayo mara nyingi hatuwezi kufikiria. Kutafuta mtu wa kumlaumu wakati mawasiliano yanapovunjika kwa kawaida ni kupoteza wakati. Mara nyingi kufanya hivyo hufanya mambo yawe mabaya zaidi. "Ufahamu mwingine ni nini"? "Kama ilivyoelezwa katika ""Psychology of Communication"" kwamba ""haijalishi jinsi tunavyoelezea mawazo yetu, wengine daima watafafanua maneno yetu au tabia kwa njia tofauti na tafsiri yetu, ikiwa tu kila mtu ana historia na uzoefu tofauti na wetu.""" Kila kitu wanachosikia, kusoma au kuona huchukuliwa na uzoefu huo, kwa hivyo tafsiri yao ya matukio daima hutofautiana na tafsiri yetu. Isitoshe, hatuwezi kuelewa tafsiri yao isipokuwa wao wenyewe wachague kueleza tafsiri yao. Kama tunataka kuwasiliana kwa ufanisi, tunahitaji kudhani kabla hatujawasiliana kwamba ujumbe wetu hautakuwa wazi kabisa kwa wengine. Baada ya kutoa ujumbe wetu, tunahitaji kukazia fikira kujua jinsi wengine wanavyofafanua yale tuliyosema au kuandika. Tunahitaji kuwauliza kile walichoelewa, kisha tufanye kazi ili kufafanua kutoelewana yoyote. Aina hii ya uangalifu inahitaji ustadi mkubwa wa kusikiliza na kuhudhuria. Twaweza kuchukua hatua gani? Kama sababu ya kuwasiliana ni kuwafanya wengine watusaidie kutimiza ahadi zetu, tunahitaji kukuza ujuzi huu. Vinginevyo wanaweza kuchukua hatua tunapopendelea hawakupata ambayo itaweka ahadi zetu katika hatari. Unatumia muda gani kujua jinsi wengine wanavyoelewa maneno yako? Ni hofu gani inayokuzuia usisikilize maoni ya wale ambao hukubaliani nawe? Je, unajua kwamba ni lazima uwape marafiki na wafanyakazi wenzako lawama kwa sababu ya kutoelewana kunakoendelea? Jifunze jinsi ya kuwasiliana vizuri ili uweze kushughulikia mambo muhimu nyumbani, kazini, na katika biashara. Kutokeza ahadi zilizo wazi na zenye ujasiri, kuomba kwa njia yenye matokeo, na kutoa matoleo yenye kushawishi ni baadhi ya ustadi muhimu zaidi.