Grief & Loss During COVID
Written By: Michael Obregon LMFT
This past year has been challenging for everyone. It has been difficult to continuously adapt to the several changes that have happened throughout this pandemic. Loss can manifest in different ways such as: loss of social connections, loss of freedom, event changes, job loss, or the loss of a loved one. To a certain extent it can be said that the grieving process itself has been lost. The stay-at-home orders and social distancing have not allowed people to grieve in the same way they were able to before. During these unsettling times, it is important to continue our journey in grieving within our culture and seek support.
Since grief and loss are often sudden and unpredictable, it is important to familiarize yourself with the different stages of grief and loss. Kübler-Ross explained that most people experience grief and loss in 5 different stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. However, grief and loss does not always look the same for everyone and we each experience our own grief and loss in our own unique way with different feelings and emotions.
Some common reactions to grief and loss can include:
· Shock, disbelief, denial, numbness
· Anxiety, fear
· Distress, overwhelmed
· Anger, frustration, irritation
· Periods of sadness, isolation, guilt
· Loss of sleep and loss of appetite
Tips to grieving/ Coping skills
· Recognize your loss
o Recognize your loss for what it is.
· Acknowledge the loss and the pain
o Accept the feelings that come along with it. The good and the bad. Accepting how you feel is not always easy, but it is part of the process.
o Denying the feelings of pain does not lessen the pain. It can led to a longer grieving process and can led to your feelings and emotions being expressed in an unexpected way.
Your feelings are valid.
o Express yourself, whether it come in the form of anger or sadness.
o Do not deny yourself from feeling a certain way.
o Remember that grieving is not linear and that you can go back and forth between different stages
Channel your energy
o Put those negative feelings into use in a healthy way.
o Anger- Participate in different forms of exercise, journaling, express yourself through art.
Be vulnerable to yourself and others.
o Self Help/ Self Care- Eating even when you do not want to, hygiene, exercise, sleep
o Others helping you- support from others, group chat, Zoom/ FaceTime with friends and family, games, seeking professional help from a therapist
o Even though you may feel alone and want to be alone, does not mean you have to be alone.
o Let people know what you need from them and how they can help.
Within time, allow yourself for experience happy moments with self-care activities. Do not allow guilt to overwhelm you and prevent you from regaining a sense of satisfaction. Remember within time you will adjust, heal, and recover.
Everyone grieves differently, your grieving process may differ than others, and everyone takes different lengths of time to grieve. Healing is not limited to time, it takes time to heal, and the healing process is not always linear. Heal at your own pace as our usual coping mechanisms that we used to resort to may no longer be as effective as they once were. We must find new ways to connect with others and take the time needed to grieve and take care of ourselves one day at a time.
Written By: Michael Obregon LMFT 115421
Kifo na Kifo Wakati wa COVID - Michael O'Brienn """Ilikuwa vigumu kuendelea kukabiliana na mabadiliko kadhaa yaliyotokea wakati wa janga hili." Kupoteza kunaweza kuonekana kwa njia tofauti kama vile: kupoteza uhusiano wa kijamii, kupoteza uhuru, mabadiliko ya tukio, kupoteza kazi, au kupoteza mpendwa. Kwa kadiri fulani yaweza kusemwa kwamba mchakato wa kuomboleza wenyewe umepotea. Amri za kukaa nyumbani na umbali wa kijamii hazijawawezesha watu kuomboleza kama walivyoweza kufanya hapo awali. Katika nyakati hizi za kutatanisha, ni muhimu kuendelea na safari yetu ya kuomboleza ndani ya utamaduni wetu na kutafuta msaada. Kwa kuwa mara nyingi huzuni na hasara hutokea ghafula na bila kutazamiwa, ni muhimu kujijua hatua tofauti-tofauti za huzuni na hasara. Kübler-Ross alielezea kwamba watu wengi hupata huzuni na hasara katika hatua tano tofauti: kukataa, hasira, biashara, unyogovu, na kukubalika. Hata hivyo, huzuni na hasara haionekani sawa kwa kila mtu na kila mmoja wetu hupata huzuni na hasara yake mwenyewe kwa njia yake ya kipekee na hisia tofauti. "Mtazamo wa kawaida wa huzuni na hasara ni pamoja na: ""Shok, kutokuamini, kukataa, kutokuwa na hisia, wasiwasi, hofu, shida, kukasirishwa, hasira, kukata tamaa, kukasirika, kukasirika, kukasirika, kukasirika, kukasirika, kukasirika, kukasirika, kukasirika, kukasirika, kukasirika, kukasirika, kukasirika, kukasirika, kukasirika, kukasirika, kukasirika, kukasirika, kukasirika, kukasirika, kukasirika.""" · Kutambua hasara na maumivu o Kukubali hisia zinazokuja pamoja nayo. Mambo mazuri na mabaya. Kukubali jinsi unavyohisi si rahisi sikuzote, lakini ni sehemu ya mchakato. Kukataa hisia za maumivu hakupunguzi maumivu. Inaweza kuongoza kwenye mchakato mrefu wa kuomboleza na inaweza kuongoza kwa hisia zako na hisia zako kuonyeshwa kwa njia isiyotazamiwa. Hisia zako ni halali. Jitokeze mwenyewe, iwe ni kwa namna ya hasira au huzuni. Usijizuie kuhisi kwa njia fulani. Kumbuka kwamba huzuni si linear na kwamba unaweza kwenda nyuma na mbele kati ya hatua tofauti. o Hasira- Kushiriki katika aina tofauti za mazoezi, journaling, kujieleza kupitia sanaa. Uwe dhaifu kwako mwenyewe na kwa wengine. Kujiunga na kikundi cha watu wengine, kuzungumza na kikundi, Zoom, FaceTime na marafiki na familia, michezo, kutafuta msaada wa kitaalamu kutoka kwa mtaalamu wa matibabu, hata ingawa unaweza kuhisi peke yako na unataka kuwa peke yako, haimaanishi lazima uwe peke yako. Waambie watu kile unachohitaji kutoka kwao na jinsi wanavyoweza kusaidia. Baada ya muda, huruhusu wakati wako wa furaha uwepo kwa kufanya mambo ya kujitunza. Usiruhusu hisia za hatia zikushinde na kukuzuia kupata tena kuridhika. Kumbuka kwamba baada ya muda utajirekebisha, utapona, na kupona. Kila mtu huomboleza kwa njia tofauti, mchakato wako wa kuomboleza unaweza kuwa tofauti na wengine, na kila mtu huchukua muda tofauti wa kuomboleza. Uponyaji haupunguzwi na muda, inachukua muda kuponya, na mchakato wa uponyaji si daima linear. Pata uponyaji kwa kasi yako mwenyewe, kwani njia zetu za kawaida za kukabiliana na shida ambazo tumekuwa tukitumia zinaweza kuwa hazifanyi kazi tena kama zilivyokuwa zamani. Ni lazima tupate njia mpya za kuungana na wengine na kuchukua wakati unaohitajika kuomboleza na kujitunza siku moja kwa wakati. Michael Obregon (LMFT 115421)