Pushing Back Against Feelings of Loneliness
Available with English captions and subtitles in Spanish.
If you find yourself craving human interaction but also feel like you’re having a hard time bonding with others, you may be lonely. Loneliness means more than being alone—you can be in a room full of people and still feel lonely. How do we combat feelings of loneliness to have a more fulfilled life?
In this session, Dr. Lisa Coyne discusses how to manage loneliness and embrace alone time and answers questions about feeling lonely.
- What are the differences between being lonely and being bored? Why is it important to have social connections? What does it mean to be alone versus being lonely?
- Is it okay to isolate yourself because you feel that your problems are a burden for those that you’re close to or care about?
- What’s the tipping point from having healthy alone time into when it’s a warning sign to seek help for mental health?
- How can you start to enjoy your own company and respect your own alone time? How can you be more comfortable being yourself and spending time by yourself?
- What if we’re the person that’s always helping other people, but we don’t know how to ask for help ourselves? People may not want to be seen as weak or needy, even when they do need something. How do we get started asking for help for ourselves?
- Can you talk about caretakers, whether for partners or for other loved ones? Caretaker roles can be so difficult, whether it’s elderly, small kids, or someone who needs constant care. What can caretakers do if they get depressed and feel alone without social contact?
- How would you respond to a patient or anyone if they say they don’t want to ruin the mood by sharing their sad/anger emotions with their friends because it’s been a long time since they’ve seen each other?
- I am an introvert. However, a close friend, who is a real extrovert, lost her full-time job and has been having a very difficult time. She leans on me a lot, and that’s very hard to manage. What advice can I give her to seek professional help or to share her burdens with other friends/family too?
- What advice can I offer to a patient who was involved in a scandal and is now feeling publicly ostracized and lonely?
- My very introverted freshman is on campus and having trouble meeting peers even though they live on the same floor. They have always had problems making friends, but were looking forward to the campus experience. What advice do you have?
- Many of my friends are now married or thinking about having children. This is likely not in the cards for me (and I’m fine with this), but I worry about getting left behind. I’m an introvert, and I don’t think I’ve made a new friend in the last five years. How will I not be lonely when friendship becomes a lower priority for my current friends? Any thoughts or advice?
- Does depression lead to loneliness? How do I really feel connected when I’m feeling depressed?
- How does the feeling of emptiness relate to loneliness? How can we address emptiness?
- Are there any specific strategies for addressing loneliness when many of the usual strategies, like engaging in activities and spending time with loved ones, are not available to, or safe for, us?
- How does someone combat loneliness if they don’t have many friends and family relationships are a trigger for their mental illness? Any advice for someone that doesn’t have strong family relationships?
The information discussed is intended to be educational and should not be used as a substitute for guidance provided by your health care provider. Please consult with your treatment team before making any changes to your care plan.
You may also find this information helpful:
- 4 Steps to Walk Away From Loneliness
- The Happiness Trap
- Stop Avoiding Stuff – Book by Matthew S. Boone, Jennifer Gregg, and Lisa W. Coyne
- Be Mighty – Book by Jill Stoddard
- Not Alone Notes
About Dr. Coyne
Lisa W. Coyne, PhD, is an assistant professor of psychology in the Department of Psychiatry, part-time, at Harvard Medical School and a senior clinical consultant at the Child and Adolescent OCD Institute (OCDI Jr.) at McLean Hospital.
Dr. Coyne has published numerous peer-reviewed articles and chapters on anxiety, OCD, and parenting. She is the author of “The Joy of Parenting: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Guide to Effective Parenting in the Early Years,” a book for parents of young children.
Recent books by Dr. Coyne:
- Stuff That’s Loud: A Teen’s Guide to Unspiraling When OCD Gets Noisy
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: The Clinician’s Guide for Supporting Parents
- The Joy of Parenting: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Guide to Effective Parenting in the Early Years
Learn more about Dr. Coyne.
It’s important to think about ways to manage your mental health. McLean is committed to providing mental health and self-care resources for all who may need them. You and your family may find these strategies from McLean experts helpful to feel mentally balanced in your everyday lives.
Sign up now for the next webinar in our Mental Health Webinar Series.
Kuzuia Hisia za Upweke Inapatikana na maandishi ya Kiingereza na maandishi ya Kihispania. Ikiwa unahisi kwamba unataka kuwasiliana na watu lakini pia unaona ni vigumu kuungana na wengine, huenda ukawa mpweke. Upweke humaanisha zaidi ya kuwa peke yake <unk> unaweza kuwa katika chumba kilichojaa watu na bado kuhisi upweke. Tunawezaje kupambana na hisia za upweke ili tuwe na maisha yenye kuridhisha zaidi? Katika kipindi hiki, Daktari Lisa Coyne anajadili jinsi ya kusimamia upweke na kukumbatia wakati wa kuwa peke yake na kujibu maswali kuhusu kujisikia mpweke. - Kuna tofauti gani kati ya kuwa mpweke na kuwa na uchovu? Kwa nini ni muhimu kuwa na mahusiano mazuri na watu? Inamaanisha nini kuwa peke yako dhidi ya kuwa mpweke? - Je, ni sawa kujitenga kwa sababu unahisi kwamba matatizo yako ni mzigo kwa wale ambao uko karibu nao au unawaheshimu? - Ni nini hatua ya kugeuka kutoka kuwa na afya peke yake wakati katika wakati ni ishara ya onyo kutafuta msaada kwa afya ya akili? - Unawezaje kuanza kufurahia ushirika wako mwenyewe na kuheshimu wakati wako wa kuwa peke yako? Unawezaje kuwa na starehe zaidi kwa kuwa wewe mwenyewe na kutumia wakati peke yako? - Namna gani ikiwa sisi ni mtu ambaye daima ni kusaidia watu wengine, lakini hatujui jinsi ya kuuliza msaada wenyewe? Watu hawapendi kuonekana kuwa dhaifu au wenye uhitaji, hata wakati wanahitaji kitu fulani. Tunawezaje kuanza kuomba msaada kwa ajili yetu wenyewe? - Je, unaweza kuzungumza juu ya watunzaji, iwe kwa washirika au kwa wapendwa wengine? Majukumu ya utunzaji yanaweza kuwa magumu sana, iwe ni wazee, watoto wadogo, au mtu anayehitaji utunzaji wa mara kwa mara. Walinzi wanaweza kufanya nini ikiwa wanashuka moyo na kuhisi upweke bila mawasiliano ya kijamii? - Ungemjibuje mgonjwa au mtu yeyote ikiwa watasema kwamba hawataki kuharibu hali ya hewa kwa kushiriki hisia zao za huzuni au hasira na marafiki zao kwa sababu imekuwa muda mrefu tangu waonekane? - Mimi ni mtu mwenye kujificha. Hata hivyo, rafiki yangu wa karibu, ambaye ni mtu mwenye mwelekeo wa nje, amepoteza kazi yake ya wakati wote na amekuwa na wakati mgumu sana. Yeye hutegemea mimi sana, na hiyo ni vigumu sana kusimamia. Ni ushauri gani unaweza kumpa ili kutafuta msaada wa kitaaluma au kushiriki mizigo yake na marafiki wengine au familia? - Ni shauri gani ninaweza kumpa mgonjwa aliyehusika katika kashfa na sasa anahisi kutengwa na watu na kuwa mpweke? - My introverted freshman ni katika chuo kikuu na kuwa na matatizo ya kukutana na wenzao hata ingawa wanaishi katika ghorofa moja. Sikuzote wamekuwa na matatizo ya kufanya marafiki, lakini walikuwa wakitazamia kwa hamu uzoefu wa chuo kikuu. Una shauri gani? - Wengi wa marafiki wangu sasa wameoa au wanafikiria kupata watoto. Hii ni uwezekano si katika kadi kwa ajili yangu (na mimi ni sawa na hii), lakini mimi wasiwasi kuhusu kupata kushoto nyuma. Mimi ni mtu mwenye mwelekeo wa ndani, na sidhani kama nimepata rafiki mpya katika miaka mitano iliyopita. Nitawezaje kuepuka upweke wakati urafiki unapoanza kuwa jambo la chini kwa marafiki wangu wa sasa? Je, una maoni au mashauri yoyote? - Je, mshuko wa moyo husababisha upweke? Ninajisikiaje nikiwa na uhusiano wakati ninajisikia nimeshuka moyo? - Hisia ya kutokuwa na kitu inahusianaje na upweke? Twaweza kushughulikiaje upungufu? Je, kuna mbinu maalum za kukabiliana na upweke wakati mbinu nyingi za kawaida, kama kushiriki katika shughuli na kutumia muda na wapendwa, hazipatikani, au salama kwa sisi? - Mtu anapambanaje na upweke ikiwa hana marafiki wengi na mahusiano ya familia ni kichocheo cha ugonjwa wake wa akili? Je, una ushauri wowote kwa mtu ambaye hana mahusiano ya familia yenye nguvu? Maelezo yaliyotajwa hapa ni ya kielimu na hayapaswi kuchukua nafasi ya mwongozo unaotolewa na mtoa huduma yako ya afya. Tafadhali wasiliana na timu yako ya matibabu kabla ya kufanya mabadiliko yoyote kwenye mpango wako wa utunzaji. "Kama ilivyoelezwa katika kitabu cha ""4 Steps to Walk Away From Loneliness: The Happiness Trap: Stop Avoiding Stuff"" cha Matthew S. Boone, Jennifer Gregg, na Lisa W. Coyne, ""Kuwa Mwenye Nguvu"" ni kitabu cha Jill Stoddard, na kinaitwa ""Not Alone: Notes About Dr. Coyne"" na kinaandikwa na Dr. Lisa W. Coyne, PhD, na ni profesa msaidizi wa saikolojia katika Idara ya Psychiatry, katika Chuo cha Tiba cha Harvard." Dakt. Coyne amechapisha makala na sura nyingi zilizochunguzwa na wenzao kuhusu wasiwasi, OCD, na uzazi. Yeye ni mwandishi wa <unk>The Joy of Parenting: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Guide to Effective Parenting in the Early Years<unk>, kitabu kwa wazazi wa watoto wadogo. Kitabu cha Dr. Coyne: Stuff That's Loud: A Teen's Guide to Unspiraling When OCD Gets Noisy - Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: The Clinician's Guide for Supporting Parents - The Joy of Parenting: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Guide to Effective Parenting in the Early Years. Ni muhimu kufikiria njia za kusimamia afya yako ya akili. McLean imejitolea kutoa afya ya akili na rasilimali za kujitegemea kwa wote ambao wanaweza kuhitaji. Unaweza kupata mikakati hii kutoka kwa wataalamu wa McLean kusaidia kuhisi usawa wa kiakili katika maisha yako ya kila siku. Kujiandikisha kwa ajili ya webinar ya pili katika Mfululizo wetu wa Webinar ya Afya ya Akili