This year, the theme of Mental Health Awareness Week is kindness - a characteristic vital to individual and shared mental health.
Being kinder to ourselves helps us maintain self-compassion, between individuals it strengthens relationships, and between groups it leads to a sense of community, cohesion and an awareness that we all share experiences. It allows us to fully appreciate the shared experience of what it means to be ‘humankind’.
Since lockdown, a third (36 per cent) of us believe our mental health has got worse, according to new research by healthcare charity Nuffield Health. But kindness can act as an antidote to worry, anxiety and low mood, and has never been so important.
To help us get through this strange and unprecedented time, Brendan Street, head of emotional wellbeing at Nuffield Health, has these tips on how you can be kinder to yourself - and why this is important in helping increase your capacity to be kinder to others.
Self-love: being kind to yourself is good for you
“Self kindness is important for our wellbeing,” says Brendan. “We spend more time with ourselves than anyone else and how we relate to ourselves has a huge impact on how we feel. Self-compassion plays a vital role in our mental wellbeing and can act as a powerful antidote to many mental health difficulties.
“And there are not just emotional, but also physical benefits to be gained. Our bodies benefit from giving and receiving kindness with positive impacts on human physiology, including the immune and cardiovascular systems, nervous system and regulation of our genes,” he says.
Self-love: accept that you're worth being kind to
“The idea of being kind to yourself can be a difficult concept for some people who find it much easier to be compassionate to others than to themselves,” explains Brendan. “It's a common misbelief that looking after oneself is selfish, it makes you ‘soft’ or self-indulgent and other people are more important and should be the priority.
“True self compassion involves being honest with ourselves and fully accountable for our actions, but with an understanding of what it really means to be human and the acknowledgement that no one is perfect.”
Self-love: hold a mirror up to yourself
“Life is hard, but being understanding, kind and supportive to ourselves can help us get through in a way that is much more helpful than being self critical and beating ourselves up. Imagine how it would feel to spend a day with a truly negative person who constantly points out all of your faults, no matter how minor.
“Chances are you’d end the day feeling disheartened, lacking in confidence, and that somehow you are ‘not quite good enough’. You may (wisely) think twice before choosing to spend too much time with this overly critical person recognising them as a negative influence on your emotional wellbeing. However many of us without always realising it, regularly relate to ourselves in this way.”
Self-love: compassion gets us further than criticism
Brendan says: “Being hard on yourself is actually likely to cause more harm than good. Research shows that the more people criticised themselves, the slower their progress over time was, and the less likely they were to achieve the goal they had set.
“Being cruel to ourselves is not motivating: instead it leaves us feeling threatened and demoralised. Compassionate self-correction and self-talk, on the other-hand, boost happiness and are effective means of enhancing our motivation, performance and resilience (our ability to cope with difficult situations).”
Self-love: be less of a critic, more of a coach
“It's not always easy to be kind to ourselves, and we can be our own harshest critics. A helpful tip is to try to imagine how a ‘kindness coach’ might help us approach the complexities and difficulties that life throws at us; they accept us ‘as we are’, not how we wish to be.
“For example – after eating a multipack of crisps a critic (often ourselves) may say something like “you’re so disgusting”. A compassionate coach on the other hand would take a more encouraging approach. For example saying: “I know you ate those crisps because you are feeling bored and lonely, but now you feel even worse because you are not looking after your body. I want you to be happy and healthy, so why don’t you take a long walk so you feel better?” We need to be that coach for ourselves.
“Think about the words you might say to someone else who was feeling low and needed encouragement. Now use the same words and phrases to positively encourage yourself.
“You may find speaking to yourself with kindness and compassion difficult at times. But don’t give up. Keep trying. Like any new skill it requires practice, but the benefits are worth it. You’re worth it.”
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"Tema ya wiki ya ""Ufahamu wa Afya ya Akili"" ni ""Ukarimu, sifa muhimu kwa afya ya akili ya mtu binafsi na ya pamoja.""" Kuwa mwema kwetu wenyewe hutusaidia kudumisha huruma ya kibinafsi, kati ya watu huimarisha mahusiano, na kati ya vikundi huongoza kwa hisia ya jamii, mshikamano na ufahamu kwamba sisi sote tunashiriki uzoefu. Inatuwezesha kuthamini kikamilifu uzoefu wa pamoja wa nini inamaanisha kuwa "binadamu". "Kulingana na utafiti wa utafiti wa ""Nuclear Health"" uliofanywa na shirika la afya la Nuffield Health, asilimia 36 ya watu wanaamini afya yao ya akili imezorota." Lakini fadhili inaweza kutenda kama dawa ya wasiwasi, wasiwasi na hali ya chini, na haijawahi kuwa muhimu sana. "Kwa sababu ya hali hii ya kushangaza, Brendan Street, mkuu wa afya ya kihisia katika Nuffield Health, ana ushauri huu juu ya jinsi ya kuwa na fadhili kwa wewe mwenyewe - na kwa nini hii ni muhimu katika kusaidia kuongeza uwezo wako wa kuwa na fadhili kwa wengine. """ Kupenda mwenyewe: kuwa mwema kwako mwenyewe ni nzuri kwako <unk>Ukarimu wa kibinafsi ni muhimu kwa ustawi wetu,<unk> anasema Brendan. Tunatumia muda mwingi pamoja na sisi wenyewe kuliko mtu mwingine yeyote na jinsi tunavyojihusisha na sisi wenyewe ina athari kubwa juu ya jinsi tunavyohisi. Hisia ya kujisikitikia huchangia sana afya ya akili na inaweza kuwa dawa ya kutatua matatizo mengi ya akili. <unk>Na hakuna faida za kihisia tu, bali pia za kimwili zinazopatikana. "Mwili wetu unanufaika kutokana na kutoa na kupokea fadhili na athari nzuri kwa fiziolojia ya binadamu, ikiwa ni pamoja na mfumo wa kinga na moyo, mfumo wa neva na udhibiti wa jeni zetu. """ "Kujitambua kuwa unastahili kuwa mwema kwako mwenyewe inaweza kuwa wazo gumu kwa watu wengine ambao wanapata ni rahisi zaidi kuwa na huruma kwa wengine kuliko kwao wenyewe. """ <unk>Ni imani potofu ya kawaida kwamba kujitunza ni ubinafsi, inakufanya uwe <unk> laini<unk> au kujitosheleza na watu wengine ni muhimu zaidi na wanapaswa kuwa kipaumbele. "Ukarimu wa kweli wa kibinafsi unahusisha kuwa mnyoofu na sisi wenyewe na kuwajibika kikamilifu kwa matendo yetu, lakini kwa kuelewa nini inamaanisha kuwa binadamu na kutambua kwamba hakuna mtu kamilifu. ""Upendo wa kibinafsi: shika kioo kwa wewe mwenyewe. "" Maisha ni ngumu, lakini kuwa na uelewa, fadhili na msaada kwa sisi wenyewe inaweza kutusaidia kupata njia ambayo ni muhimu zaidi kuliko kujikosoa na kujishambulia." Fikiria jinsi unavyohisi ukitumia siku nzima na mtu mwenye hisia mbaya sana ambaye daima anakukazia makosa yako yote, hata kama ni madogo. <unk>Umepata mwisho wa siku ukiwa na hisia za kukata tamaa, ukosefu wa uhakika, na kwamba kwa njia fulani wewe ni <unk>si mzuri wa kutosha<unk>. Unaweza (kwa busara) kufikiria mara mbili kabla ya kuchagua kutumia muda mwingi sana na mtu huyu mkali kupita kiasi, ukitambua kuwa wana ushawishi mbaya juu ya ustawi wako wa kihemko. "Hata hivyo, wengi wetu, bila kujua, mara kwa mara tunahusiana na sisi wenyewe kwa njia hii: ""Upendo wa kibinafsi: huruma hutupeleka mbali zaidi ya ukosoaji"" Brendan anasema: ""Kuwa mgumu juu yako mwenyewe ni uwezekano wa kusababisha madhara zaidi kuliko mema." Utafiti unaonyesha kuwa watu wanapojipinga zaidi, maendeleo yao huwa polepole zaidi, na uwezekano mdogo wa kufikia lengo walilolijitolea. <unk>Kuwa na ukatili dhidi yetu wenyewe hakutufadhili: badala yake hutuacha tukihisi tuko hatarini na kuharibika moyo. "Kujirekebisha kwa huruma na kujieleza, kwa upande mwingine, huongeza furaha na ni njia bora ya kuongeza motisha yetu, utendaji na uvumilivu (uwezo wetu wa kukabiliana na hali ngumu) "" Upendo wa kibinafsi: kuwa chini ya mkosoaji, zaidi ya kocha ""Si rahisi kuwa mwema kwetu wenyewe, na tunaweza kuwa wakosoaji wetu wakali." Ncha muhimu ni kujaribu kufikiria jinsi'mkufunzi wa fadhili' anaweza kutusaidia kukabiliana na utata na ugumu ambao maisha hutupa; wanakubali 'kama tulivyo' sio jinsi tunavyotaka kuwa. <unk>Kwa mfano <unk> baada ya kula multipack ya chips mkosoaji (mara nyingi sisi wenyewe) inaweza kusema kitu kama <unk>wewe ni hivyo ya kuchukiza<unk>. Kwa upande mwingine, mkufunzi mwenye huruma angechukua njia yenye kutia moyo zaidi. Kwa mfano kusema: <unk>Najua ulikula chips hizo kwa sababu unahisi kuchoka na upweke, lakini sasa unahisi mbaya zaidi kwa sababu haujali mwili wako. Nataka uwe na furaha na afya, hivyo kwa nini si wewe kuchukua kutembea kwa muda mrefu hivyo kujisikia vizuri? <unk> Tunahitaji kuwa kwamba kocha kwa ajili yetu wenyewe.  Fikiria maneno unayoweza kumwambia mtu mwingine ambaye anahisi huzuni na anahitaji kutiwa moyo. Sasa tumia maneno na misemo hiyohiyo ili ujitiishe. <unk> Huenda ikawa vigumu kwako kuzungumza na wewe mwenyewe kwa fadhili na huruma nyakati nyingine. Lakini usikate tamaa. Endelea kujaribu. Kama ustadi mwingine wowote, unahitaji mazoezi, lakini faida zake ni nzuri. "Kama unavyoona, ""Fit & Well"" inatoa ushauri wa afya, mazoezi, na afya kwa kila mtu." Fit & Well.com ni tovuti ya kitaalamu ya afya na afya ambayo inasaidia watu kufikia malengo yao ya afya na fitness kwa njia za kufurahisha na za kuweza kufikiwa. Kwa habari na makala juu ya fitness, kupoteza uzito, mbio, lishe, yoga, wellness na zaidi, sisi ni kujitolea kukusaidia popote wewe ni juu ya safari yako fitness. 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