- By ANUM HAMID
Domestic violence, also known as intimate partner violence or family violence, is a pattern of abusive behaviors that occur within a home or domestic setting. It involves the use of physical, emotional, psychological, or sexual abuse to exert power and control over a family member, typically a spouse or intimate partner. Domestic violence can also extend to children and other family members within the household.
The consequences of domestic violence are far-reaching and devastating, leading to physical injuries, emotional trauma, and long-lasting psychological effects. It creates an environment of fear, intimidation, and powerlessness for the victims, making it challenging for them to escape the cycle of abuse.
In the heart of Peshawar, Pakistan, lived a young boy named Daniyal. He was bright, imaginative, and full of dreams. However, his life was shrouded in a reality that was far from ideal. From a very young age, Daniyal faced a form of domestic violence that was seldom discussed in society – the suppression of his dreams and desires by his own family.
In Daniyal’s household, decisions about his education, career, and even his friendships were made by his parents and extended family. He was never given the opportunity to explore his own interests or envision a future of his choosing. His parents had predefined paths for him, molded by traditions and societal expectations.
As Daniyal grew older, he felt increasingly suffocated, longing for the freedom to follow his passions and make his own decisions. But every attempt to voice his desires felt like an uphill battle against the weight of generations of cultural norms.
His dreams were simple yet profound. He wanted to pursue a career in the arts, to paint, write, and express himself creatively. However, his family insisted that he should become a doctor, a profession considered prestigious and respectable in their community.
The conflict between his dreams and his family’s expectations took a toll on Daniyal’s mental health. He struggled with depression and anxiety, feeling like he was drowning in a life that wasn’t his own. Each time his dreams were brushed aside, it was as if a part of his spirit was being crushed.
In the depths of despair, Daniyal found solace in a small public library tucked away in the heart of Peshawar. There, he discovered a treasure trove of books that transported him to different worlds and expanded his horizons. He found inspiration in the stories of individuals who defied conventions and pursued their passions against all odds.
One day, as he perused the library’s shelves, Daniyal stumbled upon an old notebook filled with poems and artwork. The name inscribed on it was “Rahila,” a talented artist who had lived in Peshawar generations ago. Rahila’s story resonated deeply with Daniyal, as she too had faced similar struggles with her family’s disapproval of her artistic pursuits.
Emboldened by Rahila’s journey, Daniyal decided to take a stand for his dreams. He began expressing himself through art and poetry in secret, fearing his family’s reaction. But the more he created, the more he realized that his dreams were worth fighting for.
The years passed, Daniyal’s dreams began to wither, buried under the weight of societal norms and expectations. He reluctantly pursued a career in a field that promised financial stability but offered little fulfillment for his soul.
In the backdrop of his silent struggles, Daniyal observed countless other children, teenagers, and adults facing similar domestic violence of dreams suppressed. Many in his community dared not challenge the status quo, fearing rejection and the loss of familial love and support.
Yet, Daniyal could not ignore the ache in his heart, the emptiness that grew with each passing day. He saw the toll it took on his mental well-being and those around him. Depression and anxiety became constant companions for many who had sacrificed their dreams to appease tradition.
Seeking an escape from the suffocating reality, Daniyal found solace in smoking cigarettes. It started innocently enough, a fleeting moment of rebellion hidden in the shadows. But soon, the simple act of smoking became a dangerous addiction, offering a fleeting sense of relief from the pressure he faced.
Even in his darkest moments, Daniyal was forced to conceal his addiction from his family. Smoking was strictly forbidden in their household, and the stigma surrounding it added to his feelings of shame and isolation. He became an expert at masking the smell and hiding his habit, constantly living in fear of discovery.
As his addiction deepened, so did his pain. The control that had once dictated his dreams now extended to controlling his every move. The once-bright young boy was now a shadow of his former self, carrying the weight of his secrets like chains around his neck.
In the depths of despair, Daniyal realized that he could not continue down this destructive path. The very thing he had turned to for escape had become a new form of control, and he felt trapped once again, this time by his own addiction.
Daniyal’s journey towards healing unfolded, he discovered that he was not alone in his struggles. Many others in his community grappled with hidden addictions and the pain of feeling controlled by societal expectations. He formed connections with support groups, where individuals shared their stories of battling domestic violence and addiction.
With newfound resilience and determination, Daniyal chose to break free from the chains of control that had bound him for so long. Every decision made for such people feels like a slap to their dreams, leaving them feeling trapped and devoid of agency in their own lives. This lack of autonomy can lead to immense stress, depression, and feelings of helplessness.
Daniyal’s addiction slowly loosened its grip on him, he found strength and purpose in sharing his story with others. Though the road to healing was not without its challenges, Daniyal emerged as a symbol of hope and resilience. He proved that even in the face of domestic violence and addiction, the human spirit had the capacity to soar when given the freedom to pursue dreams, seek help, and find strength in vulnerability.
As Daniyal shared his courageous journey of battling suppressed dreams, domestic violence, and addiction, his voice became a beacon of hope for countless others facing similar struggles in Peshawar and beyond. By breaking the silence surrounding these taboo topics, he shattered the chains that had held him captive for so long. Through his art and his words, he inspired a movement of openness, empathy, and understanding, sparking conversations that challenged traditional norms and redefined what it meant to be free. Daniyal’s story became a testament to the power of resilience, the strength in vulnerability, and the unyielding human spirit that could rise above even the darkest of circumstances. As others found solace in his experiences, he knew that his pain had a purpose – to kindle the flames of hope, drive, and compassion in the hearts of those who had once been silenced.
It is essential to recognize and address the impact of cultural norms on the mental health and well-being of children and young adults. Creating awareness about the psychological consequences of domestic violence and the suppression of personal autonomy can help break the cycle of violence and empower individuals to seek support and make their voices heard.
In recent years, mental health awareness has been growing worldwide, and conversations surrounding mental health and well-being have become more open. It is crucial for societies to continue promoting mental health support and breaking the stigma associated with seeking help. Only by acknowledging and addressing these issues can we create a more compassionate and understanding environment where individuals are encouraged to pursue their dreams and live fulfilling lives free from the shackles of domestic violence and oppressive cultural norms.
- ANUM HAMID is a knowledgeable and skilled media studies lecturer in Iqra National University, and journalist with a passion for sharing insights and perspectives on current events and issues.
- Cover photo by: Ammar Afaq
"Hii ni kwa sababu ya ""jeuri ya nyumbani,"" ambayo pia inajulikana kama ""jeuri ya mwenzi wa karibu"" au ""jeuri ya familia,"" ni tabia ya unyanyasaji wa kijinsia ambayo hutokea ndani ya nyumba au mazingira ya nyumbani." Inahusisha matumizi ya unyanyasaji wa kimwili, kihisia, kisaikolojia, au wa kingono ili kutumia nguvu na udhibiti juu ya mwanachama wa familia, kwa kawaida mwenzi au mwenzi wa karibu. Jeuri ya nyumbani yaweza pia kuenea kwa watoto na washiriki wengine wa familia ndani ya nyumba. Matokeo ya jeuri ya nyumbani ni makubwa na yenye kuangamiza, yakisababisha majeraha ya kimwili, majeraha ya kihisia-moyo, na athari za muda mrefu za kisaikolojia. Hii huunda mazingira ya hofu, vitisho, na ukosefu wa nguvu kwa wahasiriwa, na kufanya iwe vigumu kwao kutoroka mzunguko wa unyanyasaji. Katika mji wa Peshawar, Pakistan, kulikuwa na mvulana mmoja aliyeitwa Daniyal. Alikuwa mwenye akili nyingi, mwenye mawazo mengi, na mwenye ndoto nyingi. Hata hivyo, maisha yake yalikuwa na hali mbaya sana. Tangu utotoni, Daniyal alikabiliwa na aina ya vurugu za nyumbani ambazo hazikujadiliwa sana katika jamii - ukandamizaji wa ndoto na matakwa yake na familia yake mwenyewe. Katika nyumba ya Daniyal, maamuzi kuhusu elimu yake, kazi, na hata urafiki wake yalifanywa na wazazi wake na familia yake kubwa. Hakuwa amewahi kupewa nafasi ya kuchunguza mapendezi yake mwenyewe au kufikiria wakati ujao aliochagua. Wazazi wake walikuwa wamemwekea njia zilizowekwa kimbele, zilizofanyizwa na mapokeo na matarajio ya jamii. Kadiri Daniyal alivyokua, alijisikia amezidi kukosa nguvu, akitamani kuwa huru kufuata tamaa zake na kufanya maamuzi yake mwenyewe. Lakini kila jaribio la kueleza tamaa zake lilionekana kama mapambano magumu dhidi ya uzito wa vizazi vya kanuni za kitamaduni. Ndoto zake zilikuwa sahili lakini zenye maana sana. Alitaka kufuatia kazi ya sanaa, kuchora, kuandika, na kujieleza kwa njia ya ubunifu. Hata hivyo, familia yake ilisisitiza kwamba apate kuwa daktari, kazi iliyoonwa kuwa yenye kuheshimika na yenye kuheshimika katika jumuiya yao. Mzozo kati ya ndoto zake na matarajio ya familia yake uliharibu afya ya akili ya Daniyal. Alijitahidi kukabiliana na mshuko wa moyo na wasiwasi, akihisi kana kwamba alikuwa akizama katika maisha ambayo hayakuwa yake mwenyewe. Kila mara ndoto zake zilipopuuzwa, ilikuwa kana kwamba sehemu ya roho yake ilikuwa ikivunjwa. Katika hali ya kukata tamaa, Daniyal alipata faraja katika maktaba ndogo ya umma iliyokuwa katikati ya Peshawar. Huko, aligundua hazina ya vitabu vilivyompeleka katika ulimwengu tofauti-tofauti na kupanua uwezo wake wa kuona mambo. Alipata msukumo katika hadithi za watu waliopinga mapokeo na kufuata tamaa zao licha ya hali mbaya. Siku moja, alipokuwa akitazama rafu za maktaba, Daniyal alikutana na kitabu cha zamani chenye mashairi na michoro. Jina lililoandikwa juu yake lilikuwa "Rahila", msanii mwenye vipaji ambaye aliishi Peshawar vizazi vingi vilivyopita. Hadithi ya Rahila ilisikika sana kwa Daniyal, kwani yeye pia alikuwa amekabili mapambano kama hayo na kutokubali kwa familia yake kwa shughuli zake za kisanii. Akiwa amehamasishwa na safari ya Rahila, Daniyal aliamua kutetea ndoto zake. Alianza kujieleza kupitia sanaa na mashairi kwa siri, akiogopa athari za familia yake. Lakini kadiri alivyozidi kuunda, ndivyo alivyotambua kwamba ndoto zake zilikuwa na thamani ya kupigania. Miaka ilipopita, ndoto za Daniyal zilianza kuzorota, zikiwa zimezikwa chini ya uzito wa kanuni na matarajio ya jamii. Kwa kusita, alitafuta kazi ambayo ilitoa tumaini la kupata pesa lakini haikumletea furaha. Katika mapambano yake ya kimya, Daniyal aliona watoto wengine wengi, matineja, na watu wazima wakikabiliwa na vurugu za nyumbani kama hizo za ndoto zilizofichwa. Wengi katika jumuiya yake hawakuweza kupinga hali iliyopo, wakioga kukataliwa na kupoteza upendo na utegemezo wa familia. Hata hivyo, Danieli hakuweza kupuuza uchungu uliokuwa moyoni mwake, upungufu uliokuwa ukiongezeka kila siku. Aliona jinsi hilo lilivyoathiri afya yake ya akili na ya wale waliokuwa karibu naye. Mkazo na wasiwasi wakawa marafiki wa daima kwa wengi ambao walikuwa wamejitoa dhabihu ndoto zao ili kutosheleza mapokeo. Akiwa anatafuta njia ya kutoroka hali halisi yenye kusumbua, Daniyal alipata faraja kwa kuvuta sigareti. Ilianza kwa njia isiyo na hatia, wakati wa ghafula wa uasi uliofichwa katika vivuli. Lakini upesi, tendo hilo rahisi la kuvuta sigareti likawa zoea hatari, likimpa hisia ya kupumzika kwa muda mfupi kutokana na mkazo aliokabili. Hata katika nyakati zake za giza zaidi, Daniyal alilazimika kuficha uraibu wake kutoka kwa familia yake. Kuvuta sigareti kulikuwa kimefungwa kabisa katika nyumba yao, na aibu iliyokuwa ikizunguka jambo hilo iliongeza hisia zake za aibu na kujitenga. Akawa mtaalamu wa kuficha harufu hiyo na kuficha zoea lake, akiishi daima kwa hofu ya kugunduliwa. Kadiri uraibu wake ulivyozidi kuwa mkali, ndivyo maumivu yake yalivyozidi kuwa makali. Udhibiti ambao wakati mmoja ulikuwa umeongoza ndoto zake sasa ulikuwa ukienea na kudhibiti kila hatua yake. Mvulana huyo aliyekuwa na mwangaza wa zamani sasa alikuwa kivuli cha yeye mwenyewe wa zamani, akibeba uzito wa siri zake kama minyororo shingoni mwake. Akiwa amevunjika moyo sana, Daniyal alitambua kwamba hangeweza kuendelea na njia hiyo yenye kuharibu. Kitu ambacho alikuwa amemgeukia ili kutoroka kilikuwa kimekuwa aina mpya ya udhibiti, na alihisi amenaswa tena, wakati huu na uraibu wake mwenyewe. Safari ya Daniyal kuelekea uponyaji ilifunuliwa, aligundua kwamba hakuwa peke yake katika mapambano yake. Wengine wengi katika jumuiya yake walishindana na uraibu uliofichwa na maumivu ya kuhisi kudhibitiwa na matarajio ya jamii. Alianzisha uhusiano na vikundi vya msaada, ambapo watu binafsi walishiriki hadithi zao za kupambana na vurugu za nyumbani na uraibu. Kwa uvumilivu na azimio jipya, Daniyal alichagua kujikomboa kutoka kwa minyororo ya udhibiti ambayo ilikuwa imemfunga kwa muda mrefu. Kila uamuzi unaofanywa kwa watu kama hao unahisi kama pigo kwa ndoto zao, ukiwaacha wakihisi wamekamatwa na hawana uwezo wa kufanya mambo yao wenyewe. Ukosefu huo wa uhuru wa kufanya mambo kwa kujitegemea waweza kusababisha mfadhaiko mkubwa, kushuka moyo, na hisia za kukosa uwezo wa kufanya mambo. Uraibu wa Daniyal ulimnyenyekeza polepole, alipata nguvu na kusudi katika kushiriki hadithi yake na wengine. Ingawa njia ya uponyaji haikuwa bila changamoto zake, Daniyal aliibuka kama ishara ya matumaini na uvumilivu. """Hata katika hali ya unyanyasaji wa nyumbani na ulevi, roho ya binadamu ina uwezo wa kupaa juu wakati inapewa uhuru wa kufuatilia ndoto, kutafuta msaada, na kupata nguvu katika udhaifu.""" Alipokuwa akishiriki safari yake ya ujasiri ya kupambana na ndoto zilizofichwa, vurugu za nyumbani, na ulevi, sauti yake ikawa mwangaza wa matumaini kwa wengine wengi wanaokabili mapambano kama hayo huko Peshawar na zaidi. Kwa kuvunja ukimya uliozunguka mada hizo zisizopendekezwa, alivunja minyororo iliyokuwa imemfunga kwa muda mrefu sana. Kupitia sanaa yake na maneno yake, aliongoza harakati ya uwazi, hisia-mwenzi, na uelewa, akichochea mazungumzo ambayo yalipinga kanuni za jadi na kufafanua upya maana ya kuwa huru. Hadithi ya Danielle ilifanyika ushahidi wa nguvu ya upinzani, nguvu katika udhaifu, na roho ya binadamu isiyoweza kushindwa ambayo inaweza kuongezeka juu hata ya hali mbaya zaidi. Wengine walipopata faraja katika mambo aliyojionea, yeye alijua kwamba maumivu yake yalikuwa na kusudi - kuwasha moto wa tumaini, mwendo, na huruma katika mioyo ya wale ambao wakati mmoja walikuwa wamenyamazishwa. Ni muhimu kutambua na kushughulikia athari za kanuni za kitamaduni kwenye afya ya akili na ustawi wa watoto na vijana. Kuunda ufahamu kuhusu matokeo ya kisaikolojia ya vurugu za nyumbani na kukandamiza uhuru wa kibinafsi kunaweza kusaidia kuvunja mzunguko wa vurugu na kuwawezesha watu kutafuta msaada na kufanya sauti zao zisikike. Katika miaka ya hivi karibuni, ufahamu wa afya ya akili umekuwa ukiongezeka ulimwenguni kote, na mazungumzo yanayohusu afya ya akili na ustawi yamekuwa wazi zaidi. Ni muhimu kwa jamii kuendelea kukuza msaada wa afya ya akili na kuvunja stigma inayohusiana na kutafuta msaada. Ni kwa kutambua na kushughulikia masuala haya tu tunaweza kuunda mazingira ya huruma na uelewa ambapo watu wanahimizwa kufuata ndoto zao na kuishi maisha ya kutimiza huru kutoka kwa minyororo ya vurugu za nyumbani na kanuni za kitamaduni za ukandamizaji. Anum Hamid ni mhadhiri wa masomo ya vyombo vya habari katika Chuo Kikuu cha Iqra, na mwandishi wa habari mwenye shauku ya kushiriki maoni na maoni juu ya matukio na masuala ya sasa. - Picha ya jalada na: Ammar Afaq