A t-shirt sheds light on the fact that men get raped too (Photo Credit: Alex Milan Tracy/Sipa USA) (Sipa via AP Images).
Women Raping Men: Rethinking Our Definition of Victim and Perpetrator
At the young age of 21, a young man was tied up in the bed by his then-girlfriend.
She told him all of the things she wanted to do to him sexually, so he consented to her demands of being tied up.
There was only one catch; he had to be able to untie himself after his girlfriend left the room to get his “reward.”
When he was unable to untie himself, she told him he would be punished instead.
His girlfriend then proceeded to sodomize him with her vibrator. Although he said no multiple times and was crying she continued to sodomize him while beating him.
The whole ordeal lasted an astonishing six to seven hours.
Although women raping men is not often talked about, rape is just as devastating to male victims as it is to female victims.
According to an April 29, 2014 Slate.com article by Hannah Rosin, “Last year (2013) the National Crime Victimization Survey turned up a remarkable statistic. In asking 40,000 households about rape and sexual violence, the survey uncovered that 38 percent of incidents were against men.”
Lara Stemple of the Health and Human Rights Project at UCLA said society should “completely rethink our assumptions about sexual victimizations,” which tends to stereotype men as the perpetrators and women as the victims.
Furthermore, women raping men has become more commonplace although it is often not reported or seen as rape.
“Often, male survivors may be less likely to identify what happened to them as abuse or assault because of the general notion that men always want sex,” said Jennifer Marsh, the vice president of an anti-sexual violence organization called Victim Services at RAINN.
According to Slate.com, “A recent analysis of (Bureau of Justice Statistics) data, for example, turned up that 46 percent of male victims reported a female perpetrator.”
It’s possible that a new definition of rape has contributed to the apparent increased number of women raping men, which includes being made to penetrate as a form of rape.
“This definition includes victims who were forced to penetrate someone else with their own body parts, either by physical force or coercion, or when the victim was drunk or high or otherwise unable to consent,” Slate.com reported. “When those cases were taken into account, the rates of nonconsensual sexual contact basically equalized, with 1.270 million women and 1.267 million men claiming to be victims of sexual violence.”
Rosin reported that although the made to penetrate definition has not caught on everywhere, society might need to rethink its definition of sexual arousal.
She wrote, “We might assume, for example, that if a man has an erection he must want sex, especially because we assume men are sexually insatiable. But imagine if the same were said about women. The mere presence of physiological symptoms associated with arousal does not in fact indicate actual arousal, much less willing participation. And the high degree of depression and dysfunction among male victims of sexual abuse backs this up.”
Stemple’s research also found some common misconceptions about the prison rape culture, and discovered incidents of women raping men even in correctional facilities.
The research showed, “Women are more likely to be abused by fellow female inmates, and men by guards, and many of those guards were female. For example, of juveniles reporting staff sexual misconduct, 89 percent were boys reporting abuse by a female staff member. In total, inmates reported an astronomical 900,000 incidents of sexual abuse.”
When the aforementioned 21-year-old finally freed himself hours after the assault, he was able to call the police and his girlfriend was arrested although he later decided not to press charges.
After the arrival of the police officers, she immediately began to play the damsel in distress role, playing on society’s stereotypes about the rape culture.
Luckily for him, the officers did not buy her story and took the reality of women raping men seriously.
T-Shirt ya kiume yaonyesha kuwa wanaume pia wanabakwa (Picha: Alex Milan Tracy, Sipa USA) "Mwanamke akimnyanyasa mwanaume: ""Kutafakari upya ufafanuzi wetu wa mhasiriwa na mtendaji"" Katika umri mdogo wa miaka 21, kijana mmoja alifungwa kitandani na mpenzi wake wa wakati huo." Alimwambia mambo yote aliyoyataka kumfanyia kingono, kwa hiyo alikubali madai yake ya kufungwa. Kulikuwa na kitu kimoja tu; alikuwa na uwezo wa kujitenga baada ya mpenzi wake kuondoka chumbani ili kupata <unk> thawabu<unk> yake. Wakati hakuweza kujitenga, alimwambia kwamba ataadhibiwa badala yake. Kisha mpenzi wake akaanza kumtenda ngono ya ngono kwa kutumia kifaa chake cha kutetemesha. Ingawa alikataa mara nyingi na alikuwa akilia aliendelea kumtendea vibaya huku akimpiga. Mateso yote yalichukua muda wa saa sita hadi saba. Ingawa wanawake wanaowatesa wanaume hawazungumziwi mara nyingi, ubakaji ni mbaya sana kwa wanaume kama ilivyo kwa wanawake. "Kulingana na makala ya Aprili 29, 2014 ya Slate.com na Hannah Rosin, ""Mwaka jana (2013) Uchunguzi wa Kitaifa wa Uhalifu wa Uhalifu ulionyesha takwimu ya kushangaza." Katika uchunguzi wa watu 40,000 kuhusu ubakaji na unyanyasaji wa kingono, utafiti huo uligundua kuwa asilimia 38 ya matukio hayo yalikuwa dhidi ya wanaume.Lara Stemple wa Mradi wa Afya na Haki za Binadamu katika UCLA alisema jamii inapaswa kufikiria upya kabisa dhana zetu kuhusu unyanyasaji wa kingono, ambayo huwa na tabia ya kuwaona wanaume kama wahalifu na wanawake kama wahasiriwa. Kwa kuongezea, wanawake kuwabaka wanaume imekuwa jambo la kawaida ingawa mara nyingi hairipotiwi au kuonekana kama ubakaji. "Wanaume waliookoka huenda wakaona kuwa ni vigumu kutambua kile kilichotokea kwao kama unyanyasaji au shambulio kwa sababu ya wazo la kawaida kwamba wanaume daima wanataka ngono,"" alisema Jennifer Marsh, makamu wa rais wa shirika la kupambana na unyanyasaji wa kingono linaloitwa Victim Services at RAINN." "Kulingana na Slate.com, ""uchambuzi wa hivi karibuni wa takwimu za Ofisi ya Takwimu za Haki, kwa mfano, uligundua kwamba asilimia 46 ya waathirika wa kiume waliripoti mwuaji wa kike."" ""Inawezekana kwamba ufafanuzi mpya wa ubakaji umesababisha ongezeko la idadi ya wanawake wanaowatesa wanaume, ambayo inajumuisha kuingizwa kama aina ya ubakaji." "Ufafanuzi huu unatia ndani waathirika ambao walilazimishwa kupenya mtu mwingine na sehemu za mwili wao, ama kwa nguvu ya kimwili au kulazimishwa, au wakati waathirika walikuwa wamelewa au walipokuwa juu au kwa njia nyingine hawakuweza kukubali. """ "Wakati kesi hizo zilipochukuliwa, viwango vya mawasiliano ya kingono yasiyo ya makubaliano vililinganishwa, na wanawake milioni 1.270 na wanaume milioni 1.267 wakidai kuwa waathirika wa unyanyasaji wa kijinsia. ""Rosin aliripoti kwamba ingawa ufafanuzi wa ""kufanya kupenya"" haujakamatwa kila mahali, jamii inaweza kuhitaji kufikiria tena ufafanuzi wake wa kuamsha kingono." Aliandika, "Tungeweza kudhani, kwa mfano, kwamba ikiwa mwanamume ana erection lazima atake ngono, haswa kwa sababu tunadhani wanaume hawawezi kuridhika kingono. Lakini wazia ikiwa jambo hilohilo lingesemawa kuhusu wanawake. Uwepo tu wa dalili za kisaikolojia zinazohusiana na msisimko kwa kweli haionyeshi msisimko halisi, na hata kidogo ushiriki wa hiari. "Utafiti wa Stemple pia uligundua baadhi ya dhana zisizo za kawaida kuhusu utamaduni wa ubakaji wa gereza, na kugundua matukio ya wanawake kubaka wanaume hata katika vituo vya marekebisho. """ Utafiti huo ulionyesha, <unk>Wanawake wana uwezekano mkubwa wa kutendewa vibaya na wafungwa wenzake wa kike, na wanaume na walinzi, na wengi wa walinzi hao walikuwa wanawake. Kwa mfano, kati ya vijana walioripoti makosa ya kingono, asilimia 89 walikuwa wavulana walioripoti unyanyasaji na mwanachama wa wafanyakazi wa kike. "Wafungwa walioripoti visa vya unyanyasaji wa kingono vya kiwango cha juu cha 900,000 wakati kijana huyo wa miaka 21 alipojikomboa masaa kadhaa baada ya kushambuliwa, aliweza kupiga simu polisi na mpenzi wake alikamatwa, ingawa baadaye aliamua kutolipa.""" Baada ya kuwasili kwa maafisa wa polisi, mara moja alianza kucheza jukumu la msichana katika shida, akicheza kwenye mitazamo ya jamii juu ya utamaduni wa ubakaji. Kwa bahati nzuri kwa ajili yake, maafisa hawakuamini hadithi yake na kuchukua ukweli wa wanawake kubaka wanaume kwa uzito.