Understanding The Four Parenting Styles To Become A Better Parent
Knowing what your parenting style is can help you correct your methods and make sure you are raising a happy child.
There’s no ABC formula for parenthood. There’s no perfect way to nurture your children. A lot of the learning is in trial and error, with plenty of room for flexibility and uniqueness in any parents’ approach. However, research has shown there are certain “styles” that can help support your child the most providing, at the very least, a helpful point of reference.
The most common model has been developed from the research of psychologist Diana Baumrind, and consists of four parenting styles: Authoritarian, Permissive, Uninvolved, and Authoritative. In this article, we’ll explore each of these categories, plus the reported impact the style has on children’s development.
What Are the 4 Parenting Styles?
The Authoritarian (or Disciplinarian) Parenting Style
The classic definition of strict parenting, this style is super-disciplined and relies heavily on rules and punishment. Parents with this approach generally lack attentiveness and empathy towards the child’s needs or feelings. It’s not necessarily an approach made with bad intentions — some parents feel a tough approach will prepare children for the harshness of the world.
However, this militant approach often has a detrimental effect. Yes, children raised with this style are often highly obedient and conforming. But studies have found children raised with this style often have low self-esteem, are prone to depression, and suffer from self-blame. There’s also a chance these children will rebel against authority, particularly during adolescence.
Permissive (or Indulgent) Parenting Style
This is the reverse of the super-disciplined approach. Children are given very few rules or face little repercussions for bad behavior. The relationship often mirrors a friendship, rather than a parent-child dynamic. The permissive parent is incredibly responsive to the child’s needs, though, sometimes putting them ahead of their own.
However, the wish for children to have excessive freedom can lead to giving in to a child’s demands or placing the need to be liked above being a figure of authority. As a result of a lack of discipline, pre-school children raised in this style often demonstrate poor impulse control and lack maturity.
The permissive parenting style indicators the value of the right level of discipline. A 2014 study found that adolescents raised in this style were three times more likely to indulge in heavy drinking compared to children whose parents held their children accountable.
Uninvolved Parenting Style
An uninvolved parent lacks both discipline and attention. These parents don’t demonstrate much in the way of active interest in the child’s life, and their children are expected to develop independence from a young age. This isn’t always the case of direct abuse, as parents might be overwhelmed in other areas of life, such as work stress or mental health issues, and fail to realize their lack of attention.
Children raised in this style often show low self-esteem and perform poorly in all areas of life. As well as misbehaving throughout school, issues can continue into adulthood, affecting intimate relationships. At worst, this parenting style is a form of neglect and has a significant impact on a child’s development.
Authoritative Parenting Style
Fortunately, we’ve saved the best ‘til last. The authoritative parenting style is the most desirable; children demonstrate overall happiness, are primed for success and enjoy good levels of self-esteem. There’s no such thing as perfect parenting, but the authoritative parent finds the right balance between discipline and warmth. They’re attentive to their children’s needs yet encourage them to develop their own independence.
Discipline with this style is clearly enforced but not through aggressive or exaggerated means. The children’s needs are considered, and the reasoning behind rules are explained if necessary. In addition, parents actively invest time and energy into their children’s development, without being overly involved.
Takeaways from the Four Parenting Styles
Understanding these approaches will allow you to assess your approach to parenthood. Like all areas of life, parenting is a role that can be evolved and improved. These styles might highlight areas where you can change your behaviour — such as being overly-disciplined or requiring more solid rules for your children.
It’s possible to slip into different roles at different times, to adjust, learn, re-assess. Ultimately, while these models act as an insightful guide to different approaches to parenting, above all else it’s essential to be present to your child’s needs and do the best you can. In doing so, you might find you create a unique style that works for you — and your children.
Kuelewa Mitindo minne ya Kuzaa Ili Kuwa Mzazi Bora Kujua ni nini mtindo wako wa kuzaa kunaweza kukusaidia kurekebisha mbinu zako na kuhakikisha kwamba unalea mtoto mwenye furaha. Hakuna fomula ya ABC kwa ajili ya uzazi. Hakuna njia kamilifu ya kuwalea watoto wako. Kujifunza mengi ni katika jaribio na kosa, na nafasi ya kutosha kwa ajili ya kubadilika na upekee katika mbinu yoyote ya wazazi. Hata hivyo, utafiti umeonyesha kuna baadhi ya "mitindo" ambayo inaweza kusaidia kusaidia mtoto wako zaidi kutoa, angalau, hatua ya msaada wa kumbukumbu. Mfano wa kawaida zaidi umebuniwa kutokana na utafiti wa mwanasaikolojia Diana Baumrind, na una mitindo minne ya uzazi: Uongozi wa mamlaka, Uraia, Usihusika, na Uraia. Katika makala hii, tutajifunza kila moja ya makundi haya, pamoja na athari zilizoripotiwa za mtindo huo kwenye maendeleo ya watoto. Ni aina gani nne za kuwa mzazi? "Mfano wa ""Authoritarian"" (au ""Disciplinary") Parenting Style ni mtindo wa kulea watoto ambao unategemea sana sheria na adhabu." Wazazi wenye mbinu hii kwa ujumla hawana uangalifu na hisia-mwenzi kuelekea mahitaji au hisia za mtoto. Si lazima iwe mbinu iliyofanywa kwa makusudi mabaya - baadhi ya wazazi wanahisi mbinu ngumu itawaandaa watoto kwa ukali wa ulimwengu. Hata hivyo, mara nyingi mbinu hiyo ya kupigana huwa na matokeo mabaya. Ndiyo, mara nyingi watoto wanaolelewa kwa mtindo huo ni wenye kutii sana na wanajipatanisha na wengine. Lakini uchunguzi umeonyesha kwamba watoto wanaolelewa kwa njia hiyo mara nyingi hawana kujithamini, wana mwelekeo wa kushuka moyo, na hujifanya kuwa na hatia. Pia kuna uwezekano kwamba watoto hao wataasi mamlaka, hasa wakati wa kubalehe. Mtindo wa Kuzaa Unaoruhusu (au Unaoonyesha Uvumilivu) Hii ni kinyume cha mbinu ya kuwa na nidhamu sana. Watoto hawapati sheria nyingi au wanakabiliwa na matokeo machache kwa sababu ya mwenendo mbaya. Mara nyingi uhusiano huo huonyesha urafiki, badala ya uhusiano kati ya mzazi na mtoto. Hata hivyo, mzazi mwenye kuruhusu huwa na mwelekeo wa kutosheleza mahitaji ya mtoto, na nyakati nyingine huweka mahitaji hayo mbele ya mahitaji yake mwenyewe. Hata hivyo, tamaa ya watoto kuwa na uhuru kupita kiasi inaweza kusababisha kutoa kwa mahitaji ya mtoto au kuweka haja ya kupendwa juu ya kuwa takwimu ya mamlaka. Kwa sababu ya ukosefu wa nidhamu, mara nyingi watoto wa kabla ya shule waliolelewa kwa njia hiyo huonyesha udhibiti duni wa hisia-moyo na ukosefu wa ukomavu. Mtindo wa uzazi wenye kuruhusu huonyesha thamani ya kiwango cha haki cha nidhamu. Utafiti uliofanywa mwaka 2014 uligundua kuwa vijana waliolelewa katika mazingira ya utunzaji wa watoto wenye tabia ya kunywa pombe mara tatu zaidi ya wale ambao wazazi wao waliwajibika kwa utunzaji wa watoto wao. Mtindo wa Kuzaa Bila Kuhusika Mzazi asiyejihusisha hana nidhamu na uangalifu. Wazazi hawa hawaonyeshi sana katika njia ya maslahi ya kazi katika maisha ya mtoto, na watoto wao wanatarajiwa kuendeleza uhuru kutoka umri mdogo. Hii sio wakati wote kesi ya unyanyasaji wa moja kwa moja, kama wazazi wanaweza kuwa na wasiwasi katika maeneo mengine ya maisha, kama vile mkazo wa kazi au masuala ya afya ya akili, na kushindwa kutambua ukosefu wao wa tahadhari. Watoto waliolelewa katika mtindo huo mara nyingi huonyesha kujidharau kidogo na kufanya vibaya katika nyanja zote za maisha. Mbali na tabia mbaya shuleni, matatizo hayo yanaweza kuendelea hadi mtu mzima, na kuathiri mahusiano ya karibu. Katika hali mbaya zaidi, mtindo huu wa uzazi ni aina ya kupuuzwa na una athari kubwa kwa maendeleo ya mtoto. Kwa bahati nzuri, tumehifadhi kilicho bora zaidi kwa mwisho. Mtindo wa uzazi wenye mamlaka ni unaofaa zaidi; watoto huonyesha furaha ya jumla, wanajitayarisha kwa mafanikio na kufurahia viwango vizuri vya kujithamini. Hakuna jambo kama hilo la kuwa mzazi mkamilifu, lakini mzazi mwenye mamlaka hupata usawaziko unaofaa kati ya nidhamu na uchangamfu. Wao ni makini na mahitaji ya watoto wao bado kuwatia moyo kuendeleza uhuru wao wenyewe. Nidhamu katika mtindo huu hutolewa kwa uwazi lakini si kwa njia zenye jeuri au zenye kupita kiasi. Mahitaji ya watoto hufikiriwa, na sababu za kuweka sheria huelezwa ikiwa ni lazima. Kwa kuongezea, wazazi huwekeza wakati na nishati katika maendeleo ya watoto wao, bila kuhusika sana. Kuelewa mitindo minne ya uzazi itakusaidia kujua jinsi unavyoweza kuwa mzazi. Kama ilivyo katika mambo mengine yote ya maisha, kuwa mzazi ni kazi ambayo inaweza kubadilika na kuboreshwa. Mitindo hii inaweza kuangazia maeneo ambapo unaweza kubadilisha tabia yako - kama vile kuwa na nidhamu kupita kiasi au kuhitaji sheria thabiti zaidi kwa watoto wako. Inawezekana kuingizwa katika majukumu tofauti wakati tofauti, kurekebisha, kujifunza, kuchunguza tena. Hatimaye, wakati mifano hii kutenda kama mwongozo wa ufahamu kwa mbinu tofauti kwa uzazi, juu ya yote mengine ni muhimu kuwa sasa kwa mahitaji ya mtoto wako na kufanya bora unaweza. Kwa kufanya hivyo, huenda ukaona kwamba umebuni mtindo wa pekee unaokufaa wewe na watoto wako.