Now that you know what self-compassion is, how do you develop self-compassion?
There is no right or wrong way to develop the practice of self-compassion, no is there a universally agreed definition of what self-compassion is. What’s important to remember in developing self compassion is to start slowly in a step-by-step approach. We start with one element and once we feel we have that down pat we then build upon it, developing our self compassion skills over time.
Below is a starting point on how to develop self-compassion. This first step encourages us too consciously notice our own pain mindfully, with openness and curiosity.
Acceptance and commitment therapy: Phrases for Self-Compassion
Acknowledging Pain and Kindness
Potentially the simplest and quickest exercises involve simply these two elements:
- Acknowledge with kindness in your words: “This is really painful” or “This is really difficult” or “I’m noticing sadness or “I’m having a feeling of shame” or “This is a moment of suffering” (or some other expression that you are comfortable with that nonjudgmentally acknowledges the presence of pain).
- Say something that facilitates kindness to yourself:
“Go easy on yourself”, “Be kind to yourself”, “May I treat myself kindly”, or a single word, such as “Gentle” or “Kindness”.
This approach this approach encourages us to make space and acknowledge painful thoughts feelings and emotions. It is quite different from what many of us do in turning away from our pain trying to suppress it, deny it, escape it, distract from it, or avoid it.
Adapted from How to Develop Self-Compassion in just about anyone by Dr Russ Harris.
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Sasa kwa kuwa unajua jinsi ya kujisikitisha, unawezaje kujisikitisha? Hakuna njia sahihi au mbaya ya kukuza mazoezi ya huruma ya kibinafsi, hakuna ufafanuzi wa kawaida wa huruma ya kibinafsi. Nini ni muhimu kukumbuka katika kuendeleza huruma ya binafsi ni kuanza polepole katika mbinu hatua kwa hatua. Kuanzia na kipengele kimoja, mara tu tunapohisi kuwa tuna hiyo, tunajenga juu yake, tukisitawisha ustadi wetu wa kujisikitisha kwa muda. Chini ni hatua ya kuanzia juu ya jinsi ya kukuza huruma ya kibinafsi. Hatua hii ya kwanza inatutia moyo pia kutambua maumivu yetu wenyewe kwa uangalifu, kwa uwazi na udadisi. "Mtazamo wa ""Kukubali na kujitolea"" - Mazoezi ya kujisifia, maumivu na fadhili - ""Kukubali kwa fadhili katika maneno yako: Hii ni kweli chungu, au hii ni ngumu sana, au ninaona huzuni, au nina hisia ya aibu, au hii ni wakati wa kuteseka.""" - Sema kitu ambacho huwezesha fadhili kwako mwenyewe: "Jitendee kwa upole", "Uwe na fadhili kwako mwenyewe", "Naweza kujitendea kwa fadhili", au neno moja, kama vile "Mwenye fadhili" au "Fadhili". Njia hii inatutia moyo kufanya nafasi na kutambua mawazo, hisia na hisia zenye uchungu. Ni tofauti sana na kile ambacho wengi wetu hufanya katika kugeuka mbali na maumivu yetu kujaribu kuikandamiza, kuikataa, kuikimbia, kugeuza fikira, au kuiepuka. Jinsi ya kuendeleza huruma ya kibinafsi kwa mtu yeyote na Dk Russ Harris Blogi iliyoundwa na NuActive Afya