Do the preparation task first. Then read the article and do the exercises.
Raul never seems to let difficulties in life worry him. When someone disagrees with him, he sees it as a chance to understand things from a different point of view. When he had too much work, he learnt to improve his time management skills. When he lost his job, he took an online course so he could apply for better jobs. To Raul's friends, he's the best example of resilience.
What is resilience? One definition of resilience is the ability to be happy or successful again after difficulties. But resilience isn't just that. It is also the ability to adapt to challenging situations without feeling like it's all too much for you. It means using difficult situations to grow and improve.
Some people might say Raul's just lucky. They might think he never gets stressed and that things just don't bother him. But they're wrong. Resilient people do feel stress, emotional pain, disappointment and other negative emotions. But it's what they do with those feelings that helps make them resilient. Resilience involves thoughts, behaviour and actions that we all can develop and strengthen. People are not born resilient – they learn resilience.
So what can we do to build resilience? Here are three tips.
1. Be aware of your reactions
When we think something is difficult or threatening, negative feelings and thoughts can lead to negative actions. By being aware of our feelings, we can learn to accept them and to deal with them better. Mindfulness activities like meditation can increase our awareness of our emotional state and help us calm negative thoughts.
Our brains often try to make sense of negative events by creating a story around the situation. For example, if Stella openly disagrees with us in a meeting, we might tell ourselves that she doesn't like us and was looking for the opportunity to make us feel uncomfortable in front of the boss. We tell ourselves this story until it feels real, even though it's likely that the reality is quite different.
Being aware that everybody has a tendency to create stories around events is the first step to managing our reactions. When we realise that our version of events is just one interpretation of things, the situation becomes less painful and we are more open to seeing things from different perspectives.
2. Use writing techniques to gain different perspectives
It is not easy to recognise and change the stories we tell ourselves but there are techniques that can help us. Greater Good Magazine from Berkeley, the University of California, suggests expressive writing – writing freely about an issue for 20 minutes, putting your deepest thoughts and feelings on paper. As we write, the process forces us to face our thoughts honestly and helps us find new understanding.
Writing can also help us think more positively about difficult experiences. Once we have explored the negative side of something, another technique involves making a list of the positive aspects of the situation. For example, maybe Stella's comments in the meeting forced you to make your original idea much better. Or what she said might have helped you understand her point of view. A study found that people who did this 'list the positives' activity every day for three weeks felt more positive, particularly the negative thinkers, who reported feeling less depressed.
3. Be kind to yourself
It is important that we don't judge ourselves for the negative feelings and thoughts that we have, and that we forgive ourselves for the mistakes we make. Talking to other kind and sympathetic individuals can help support us when we are experiencing difficulty. Sharing experiences with other people can help us become more aware of our feelings and offer us different perspectives. Whether these are our colleagues, our friends or people in other social groups we belong to, forming strong relationships helps us feel less alone.
Being kind to yourself is also about looking after your physical health. Making sure you get enough sleep, plenty of exercise and healthy food can help reduce the stress you're feeling.
The stress, worry and emotional pain that life brings can be challenging. But if we work on building our resilience and getting the support we need to do so, we can gradually learn to deal with these difficult circumstances and, in the process, become stronger.
Fanya kazi ya kujitayarisha kwanza. Kisha soma makala hiyo na ufanye mazoezi. Yaonekana Raul hajawahi kuruhusu magumu ya maisha yamwogope. Mtu anapokataa maoni yake, yeye huona hilo kuwa nafasi ya kuelewa mambo kwa njia tofauti. Alipokuwa na kazi nyingi sana, alijifunza kuboresha ustadi wake wa kusimamia wakati. Alipopoteza kazi, alichukua kozi ya mtandaoni ili aweze kuomba kazi bora. Raul na rafiki zake ni mfano mzuri wa ujasiri. Uvumilivu ni nini? Uwezo wa kukabiliana na matatizo ni uwezo wa kuwa na furaha au mafanikio tena baada ya matatizo. Lakini uvumilivu si jambo hilo tu. Ni uwezo wa kukabiliana na hali ngumu bila kuhisi kama ni mengi sana. Inamaanisha kutumia hali ngumu kukua na kuboresha. Watu fulani huenda wakasema kwamba Raul ana bahati tu. Huenda wakafikiri kwamba yeye haogopi kamwe na kwamba mambo hayawezi kumsumbua. Lakini wao ni makosa. Watu wenye uwezo wa kukabiliana na matatizo ya akili hujihisi kuwa na mkazo, uchungu wa kihisia-moyo, kukata tamaa, na hisia nyingine zisizofaa. Lakini ni kile wanachofanya na hisia hizo kinachowasaidia kuwa thabiti. Uvumilivu unahusisha mawazo, tabia na vitendo ambavyo sote tunaweza kuendeleza na kuimarisha. Watu hawazaliwi kuwa na uwezo wa kuvumilia <unk> wao hujifunza uwezo wa kuvumilia. Kwa hiyo, tunaweza kufanya nini ili tuweze kuwa na uwezo wa kukabiliana na hali hiyo? Hapa kuna madokezo matatu. 1. Uwe na mtazamo wa kweli "Kama unajua jinsi unavyoitikia, ""wakati tunafikiri kitu ni kigumu au kinachotishia, hisia na mawazo hasi yanaweza kusababisha matendo mabaya.""" Kwa kutambua hisia zetu, tunaweza kujifunza kuzikubali na kuzishughulika nazo vizuri zaidi. Shughuli za ufahamu kama vile kutafakari zinaweza kuongeza ufahamu wetu wa hali yetu ya kihisia na kutusaidia kutuliza mawazo hasi. Akili zetu mara nyingi hujaribu kuelewa matukio mabaya kwa kuunda hadithi kuhusu hali hiyo. Kwa mfano, ikiwa Stella anakataa waziwazi maoni yetu katika mkutano, tunaweza kujiambia kwamba yeye hatupendi na alikuwa akitafuta fursa ya kutufanya tusijihisi vizuri mbele ya bosi. Sisi hujiambia hadithi hii hadi inahisi kuwa ya kweli, ingawa inawezekana kuwa ukweli ni tofauti kabisa. Kujua kwamba kila mtu ana mwelekeo wa kuunda hadithi kuzunguka matukio ni hatua ya kwanza ya kusimamia athari zetu. Tunapotambua kwamba toleo letu la matukio ni tafsiri moja tu ya mambo, hali inakuwa chini ya uchungu na sisi ni wazi zaidi kuona mambo kutoka kwa mtazamo tofauti. 2. Uwezekano wa kupata Kutumia mbinu za kuandika ili kupata mtazamo tofauti Si rahisi kutambua na kubadilisha hadithi tunazojiambia lakini kuna mbinu ambazo zinaweza kutusaidia. "Mwanzoni mwa mwaka wa 2000, gazeti la Greater Good la Chuo Kikuu cha California, Berkeley, lilitoa pendekezo la kuandika kwa njia ya ""kueleza"" - kuandika kwa uhuru kuhusu jambo fulani kwa dakika 20 na kuandika mawazo na hisia zako za ndani zaidi." Tunapoandika, mchakato huo hutulazimisha kukabiliana na mawazo yetu kwa unyoofu na hutusaidia kupata uelewa mpya. Kuandika kunaweza pia kutusaidia kufikiria mambo mazuri kuhusu mambo magumu tuliyojionea. Baada ya kuchunguza upande mbaya wa jambo fulani, mbinu nyingine inahusisha kuorodhesha mambo mazuri ya hali hiyo. Kwa mfano, labda maelezo ya Stella katika mkutano yalikufanya uboresha sana wazo lako la awali. Au labda maneno yake yalikusaidia kuelewa maoni yake. Utafiti unaonyesha kwamba watu waliofanya shughuli hii ya 'kuorodhesha mambo mazuri' kila siku kwa wiki tatu walijisikia vizuri zaidi, hasa wale waliofikiria vibaya, ambao waliripoti kuwa na hisia chache za kushuka moyo. 3. Uwe na mtazamo wa kweli Ni muhimu kwamba tusijihukumu wenyewe kwa hisia na mawazo hasi tunayo, na kwamba tujisamehe wenyewe kwa makosa tunayofanya. Kuzungumza na watu wengine wenye fadhili na wenye huruma kunaweza kutusaidia tunapokuwa na magumu. Kugawana uzoefu na watu wengine kunaweza kutusaidia kuwa na ufahamu zaidi wa hisia zetu na kutupa mtazamo tofauti. Iwe ni wenzetu, marafiki au watu katika vikundi vingine vya kijamii tunavyohusiana nao, kuunda mahusiano ya nguvu hutusaidia kuhisi kuwa hatuko peke yetu. Kuwa mwenye fadhili kwako mwenyewe ni muhimu pia kwa afya yako. Kujiandaa kwa kulala vya kutosha, kufanya mazoezi mengi na kula vyakula vyenye afya kunaweza kusaidia kupunguza mkazo unaohisi. Mkazo, wasiwasi, na maumivu ya kihisia-moyo ambayo maisha huleta yanaweza kuwa magumu. Lakini ikiwa tutafanya kazi ya kujenga nguvu zetu na kupata msaada tunaohitaji kufanya hivyo, tunaweza kujifunza hatua kwa hatua kukabiliana na hali hizi ngumu na, katika mchakato huo, kuwa na nguvu zaidi.