Someone you know may be misusing alcohol if:
Physical signs of alcohol misuse:
Alcohol makes you feel more relaxed in the short-term, but according to independent UK charity Drinkaware*, regular misuse can lead to a person becoming more stressed.
Some of the physical signs are:
Alcohol slows down the brain and the processes of the central nervous system’s processes, which can affect your work performance badly, your concept of safety as well as your interactions with those you love.
For more information on alcohol misuse please check out the NHS website.
One of the biggest barriers to people getting help for alcohol/drug addiction is the stigma associated with the disease. 9/10 people with mental health problems have reported experiencing stigma and discrimination in their lives.
Stigma is a negative attitude imposed by society on people who it judges as not ‘normal’. It is a reaction of fear, ignorance and prejudice. Alcoholism is an illness, and it is not anyone’s fault that someone might suffer of it.
Accept that your colleague has an illness, a treatable illness and it’s not their fault. Recovery from alcohol and drug addiction is possible.
Look into the support offered by your employer in their alcohol policy. It can be difficult asking for help in a situation when you are worried about the consequence. You may just find your colleague has more rights than you are aware of and your employer may even support with treatment.
We are rich in services in Scotland. Take a look at our partners or visit your local ADP site to find out about support groups near you. If the opportunity arises to talk to your colleague about help available to them you will be prepared.
If you feel safe with your colleague, speak to them about your worries about their alcohol and drug problems. They may just be grateful that you are opening up to them and can be of great support in the recovery process.
Timing matters when dealing with your friend. Don’t try to talk when your friend is drunk or high; it’s too difficult to take in what you’re saying, and the situation could escalate.
Instead, talk with your friend when he or she is clearheaded. One approach is to reach out when your friend is hungover or remorseful following a drinking incident—when the negative consequences are fresh in your friend’s mind.
Don’t worry about saying things perfectly. Expressing your concern for your loved one in a caring and honest way is the most important message you can convey.
You might want to take someone with you who understands your concern for your friend’s problem, perhaps someone with a connection to Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or a similar group. Click here for some suggestions.
You could also tell someone what you’re doing and have him or her available by phone for support. It is a good idea to meet with your friend on neutral turf, but not in a restaurant or bar or where alcohol is available.
Be supportive. No matter how “bad” your friend’s behaviour has been lately, he or she is not a bad person. Addiction is a disease, and it’s been recognised as such so don’t blame or criticise. Check out our page on Stigma to find out more about the pressures they may be under.
You’re speaking up because you care about your friend’s life and health, not to make them “get their act together.”
Be specific about what you’re seeing. Bring up particular incidents such as, “When you canceled our plans the other day” rather than sweeping statements such as, “You never keep your word.” It’s also helpful to frame the conversation by using “I” phrases, such as “I noticed” or “I’m worried” because your friend can’t dispute your perceptions and feelings.
Be encouraging. Talk about the effect your friend’s drinking or drug use has on whatever he or she cares about most: career, children, sports, etc. Your friend may not be concerned about his or her own situation, but may care deeply for his or her children, for example, and the impact on them.
Be prepared. You might want to write down what you want to say, and that could vary depending on the level of your friendship: close friend, casual friend or coworker. Here are some ideas for “opening lines” to help you approach each type of friend in the most effective way. Of course, your friend could respond in any number of ways besides the few examples given. The main thing is to listen, stick to the facts, show a caring attitude and offer your assistance and support.
“You know, Barb, we’ve been friends for a long time now, as close as sisters. And, while I don’t want to meddle, I’ve noticed that you’re drinking and getting high more lately, and you don’t seem to be getting along with your family as much as you used to. I’m worried about you. Let’s talk about it.”
If Barb says: “You know, you’re right. I have noticed that I’ve been drinking more in the last couple of months. But I think it’s because I’ve been under more pressure than usual at work and at home. It’s probably just a phase. I’m sure I’ll snap out of it soon.”
You can say: “I know it appears a drink or two can take the edge off temporarily. But drinking can’t solve your problems, and from what you’ve told me, things seem to be getting worse, maybe because you’re drinking more. A professional assessment by a counsellor or therapist can help you figure out if you’re dealing with alcohol addiction or what else might be going on with all of this stress you’re experiencing.”
“Jim, I’ve always enjoyed playing cards with you. But after a couple of beers, I see a personality change, and there are arguments. It’s not like you. You usually get along with everyone except when you’re drinking. I’d hate to see you lose your friends.”
If Jim says: “Who are you to tell me I drink too much? We all have a few when we play cards. And the words I had with Al and Walt were no big deal. I just got a little hot under the collar.”
You can say: “Jim, I don’t count how many drinks you or anyone else has. I’ve just noticed that at some point in the evening, after you’ve been drinking awhile, I see a more argumentative side of you. I don’t want to see you destroy your relationships with people who care about you. So I thought I’d mention it now because I’m your friend and I want to help.”
“Chris, you’re one of the brightest people I know. But recently, you’ve been missing a lot of work and coming in late. And this week, my report got held up because I didn’t have your input. You don’t seem to be yourself. I know you’ve been drinking (or using drugs) a lot. If you’re having a problem with alcohol, drugs or anything else, I’d be happy to help you get the assistance you need. I’d hate to see you lose your job.”
If Chris says: “Hey, I know I’ve been a little out of control recently, and I have been partying more than usual, but don’t worry. I’m working on getting my act together.”
You can say: “Well, I hope you do. But sometimes it’s hard to get your act together by yourself. So if you need any help, please know that I’m here and I’ll listen. I value your friendship and will do anything I can.”
Check out the AA website here for information about meets in your area.
Don’t be surprised, and don’t take it personally. Denial is one of the unfortunate symptoms of addiction. So if you feel you’re not getting through to your friend, it’s not your fault or your friend’s fault. It’s okay to back off and let your friend know that whenever he or she is ready for help, you’ll be there. You could also give your friend the phone number of a local AA group.
By raising the issue with your friend, you’ve planted a seed of recovery that could grow when you least expect it. In the meantime, stay in touch and continue to show your concern and support. For example, if your friend only wants to meet where he or she can drink, suggest another place. Don’t offer alcohol when your friend visits. Don’t continue to lend money if that’s an ongoing problem. Don’t accept late-night calls when your friend is drunk or high.
Before getting together with your friend, contact AA to get a schedule of meetings in your area. That way, if your friend readily admits to having a problem and wants to do something about it, you’ll be prepared with meeting dates and locations. You could even offer to provide a ride to a meeting or connect your friend with an AA contact person.
If going to a meeting seems like too big a first step to your friend, suggest an assessment by a counsellor, physician or mental health professional who is knowledgeable about substance abuse and sobriety.
You may also want to call a local outpatient or inpatient treatment program to learn about services and options. If your friend wants to know more about going to an addiction treatment program, offer to be there when he or she calls for more information.
Abuse comes in many other forms than just physically which makes it difficult to recognize it sometimes. Have a look at the list below for common forms of abuse and make sure to explore the links in the bottom of the page for more information and help.
Common Signs of Abuse:
Remember that it’s also important to listen to your “gut feeling” – if you feel uneasy and scared around someone but can’t explain why, this could be your body telling you something is wrong. If you feel unusually anxious around your partner and worry that they may harm you, pay attention to those feelings and seek support before it goes too far.
When you are in a relationship with an abusive or alcoholic partner, you may spend a lot of time feeling like you are walking on eggshells. Even the slightest thing can cause a spark of aggression which can quickly escalate into a dangerous situation, so it is helpful to understand some of the most common triggers. These include:
Environmental factors: an unwashed pan, dirty carpet or something being left in the “wrong” place can easily cause an abusive partner to fly off the handle. Equally, noise, distractions and being unable to access drugs or alcohol can quickly lead to aggressive behaviour.
Embarrassment and humiliation: if someone who is prone to aggression feels they are being criticised, laughed at or not treated with respect they can quickly become dangerous.
Fear: even people who seem to be strong and confident can easily become fearful of the world around them, and this is often an important factor in those with abusive tendencies. Fear of not being good enough or losing something/someone important to them can easily transfer to aggressive or threatening behaviour.
Rejection: this is a common trigger of aggressive behaviour, often related to relationship breakups, disinterest from a potential partner or failing to secure a job or promotion.
Tiredness: sleep is important for all aspects of our wellbeing, including our mental health. Tiredness can make us people short tempered and more likely to fly off the handle if something goes wrong.
Drugs and Alcohol: drink and certain drugs, such as cocaine, crack, methamphetamine, amphetamine and spice, can all trigger aggressive behaviour and loss of control.
It is important to understand that while these triggers can help to explain the causes of aggressive behaviour, they should never be seen as an excuse. If your partner is aggressive it is not your fault, and you have the right to live a peaceful life without fear.
If you use drink to try and improve your mood or mask your depression, you may be starting a vicious cycle…warning signs that alcohol is affecting your mood include:
Four ways to help prevent alcohol affecting your mood:
Drinking can have harmful consequences both for the drinker and to people around them. Everyone might get used to the situation and treat it as normal, which might make seeking help seem unnecessary. Please have a look at some of the issues that you or people close to you might face due to alcoholism.
"Kama mtu anayejulikana anaweza kuwa anatumia pombe vibaya ikiwa: ""Nyakati za kimwili za matumizi mabaya ya pombe: pombe hufanya uhisi utulivu zaidi kwa muda mfupi, lakini kulingana na shirika huru la misaada la Uingereza Drinkaware, matumizi mabaya ya kawaida yanaweza kusababisha mtu kuwa na mkazo zaidi.""" Kwa sababu hii, kileo hupunguza utendaji wa ubongo na mfumo wa neva, na inaweza kuathiri utendaji wako wa kazi, dhana yako ya usalama, na vilevile mwingiliano wako na wale unaowapenda. Kwa habari zaidi juu ya matumizi mabaya ya pombe tafadhali angalia tovuti ya NHS. Moja ya vizuizi vikubwa kwa watu kupata msaada kwa ajili ya ulevi au madawa ya kulevya ni stigma kuhusishwa na ugonjwa. Watu 9 kati ya 10 wenye matatizo ya afya ya akili wameripoti kuwa wamepatwa na unyanyasaji na ubaguzi katika maisha yao. Stigma ni mtazamo hasi uliowekwa na jamii kwa watu ambao huamua kuwa sio "ya kawaida". Ni mwitikio wa hofu, ujinga na ubaguzi. Uraibu wa kileo ni ugonjwa, na si kosa la mtu yeyote kwamba mtu anaweza kuugua. Kukubali kwamba mwenzako ana ugonjwa, ugonjwa curable na si kosa lao. Ni uwezekano wa kupona kutokana na uraibu wa kileo na dawa za kulevya. Angalia msaada unaotolewa na mwajiri wako katika sera yao ya pombe. Inaweza kuwa vigumu kuomba msaada katika hali ambapo una wasiwasi kuhusu matokeo. Unaweza kupata kwamba mwenzako ana haki zaidi kuliko unavyojua na mwajiri wako anaweza hata kusaidia na matibabu. Sisi ni matajiri katika huduma katika Scotland. Tazama tovuti yetu ya ADP au ziara tovuti ya ADP ya karibu ili uone ikiwa kuna kikundi cha msaada karibu na wewe. Ikiwa kuna nafasi ya kuzungumza na mwenzako kuhusu msaada unaopatikana kwao utakuwa tayari. Ikiwa unajihisi salama na mwenzako, zungumza naye kuhusu wasiwasi wako kuhusu matatizo yake ya kileo na dawa za kulevya. Huenda wakashukuru kwamba unawafunulia mambo na wanaweza kukusaidia sana katika mchakato wa kupona. Wakati ni muhimu unaposhughulika na rafiki yako. Usijaribu kuzungumza wakati rafiki yako amelewa au amelewa; ni vigumu sana kuelewa unayosema, na hali yaweza kuongezeka. Badala yake, zungumza na rafiki yako wakati yeye au yeye ni wazi-headed. Njia moja ni kuwasiliana na rafiki yako anapokuwa na kichefuchefu au anapojisikitisha baada ya kunywa kileo - wakati matokeo mabaya yanapokuwa mapya akilini mwa rafiki yako. Usiwe na wasiwasi kuhusu kusema mambo kikamilifu. Kuonyesha kwamba unamjali mpendwa wako kwa njia ya unyoofu na ya huruma ni njia bora zaidi ya kumweleza. Unaweza kumchukua mtu anayeelewa wasiwasi wako kwa tatizo la rafiki yako, labda mtu aliye na uhusiano na Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) au kikundi kama hicho. Bonyeza hapa kwa mapendekezo fulani. Unaweza pia kumwambia mtu unachofanya na kumfanya apate msaada kwa simu. Ni bora kukutana na rafiki yako katika eneo lisilo na vita, lakini si katika mkahawa au baa au mahali ambapo kuna pombe. Uwe mwenye kutegemeza. Haijalishi jinsi tabia ya rafiki yako imekuwa mbaya hivi karibuni, yeye si mtu mbaya. Uraibu ni ugonjwa, na umetambuliwa kama huo kwa hivyo usilaumu au kukosoa. Angalia ukurasa wetu wa Stigma ili kupata zaidi juu ya shinikizo wanaloweza kuwa chini. Wewe ni kuzungumza juu kwa sababu wewe huduma kuhusu maisha ya rafiki yako na afya, si kufanya yao kupata hatua yao pamoja. Kuwa maalum kuhusu nini wewe ni kuona. "Kumbuka kuwa ""Ulipofuta mipango yetu siku nyingine"" badala ya kusema ""Huwezi kamwe kushika neno lako"" ni muhimu pia kuweka mazungumzo kwa kutumia maneno kama ""Niliona"" au ""Nina wasiwasi"" kwa sababu rafiki yako hawezi kupinga maoni na hisia zako." Uwe mwenye kutia moyo. Fikiria jinsi kunywa pombe au kutumia dawa za kulevya kunavyoathiri mambo ambayo rafiki yako anapenda zaidi: kazi, watoto, michezo, na kadhalika. Huenda rafiki yako hakujali hali yake mwenyewe, lakini huenda akajali sana watoto wake, kwa mfano, na matokeo yatakayokuwa juu yao. Jitayarishe kwa ajili ya hilo. Unaweza kuandika kile unachotaka kusema, na hiyo inaweza kutofautiana kulingana na kiwango cha urafiki wako: rafiki wa karibu, rafiki wa kawaida au mwenzako wa kazi. Hapa kuna mawazo fulani ya "kufungua mistari" ili kukusaidia kukaribia kila aina ya rafiki kwa njia yenye matokeo zaidi. Bila shaka, rafiki yako anaweza kujibu kwa njia nyingi zaidi ya zile chache zilizotajwa. Jambo kuu ni kusikiliza, kushikamana na ukweli, kuonyesha mtazamo wa kujali na kutoa msaada wako na msaada. "Unajua, Barb, tumekuwa marafiki kwa muda mrefu sasa, karibu kama dada. Na, wakati mimi sitaki kuingilia, Nimegundua kwamba wewe ni kunywa na kupata juu zaidi hivi karibuni, na huonekana kuwa kupata pamoja na familia yako kama vile wewe kutumika kwa. Mimi nina wasiwasi juu yako. Hebu majadiliano kuhusu hilo. <unk> Kama Barb anasema: <unk>Unajua, wewe ni haki. Nimegundua kwamba nimekuwa nikinywa zaidi katika miezi miwili iliyopita. Lakini nadhani ni kwa sababu nimekuwa chini ya shinikizo zaidi ya kawaida kazini na nyumbani. Yaelekea ni kipindi tu. Nina hakika nitapona hivi karibuni. Unaweza kusema: "Ninajua inaonekana kinywaji au viwili vinaweza kuondoa wasiwasi kwa muda. Lakini kunywa hakuwezi kutatua matatizo yako, na kutokana na kile ulichoniambia, mambo yanaonekana kuwa mabaya zaidi, labda kwa sababu unakunywa zaidi. Msaada wa mtaalamu wa ushauri wa matibabu ya afya ya mwili unaweza kukusaidia kujua ikiwa una tatizo la kulevya au una tatizo lingine la mkazo, na kama una tatizo la kulevya, unaweza kuamua kama una tatizo la kulevya. Baada ya kunywa bia chache, mtu anakuwa na tabia tofauti na watu wengine. Si kama wewe. Kwa kawaida wewe hupata urafiki na kila mtu isipokuwa unapokunywa. I'd chuki kuona wewe kupoteza marafiki wako. <unk> Kama Jim anasema: <unk> Nani wewe kuniambia mimi kunywa sana? Sote huwa na chache tunapocheza kadi. Na maneno niliyoyasema na Al na Walt hayakuwa jambo kubwa. Mimi tu got kidogo moto chini ya kola. <unk> Unaweza kusema: <unk>Jim, mimi <unk> si kuhesabu jinsi vinywaji wengi wewe au mtu mwingine ana. Mimi tu wameona kwamba katika hatua fulani katika jioni, baada ya wewe kuwa kunywa kwa muda, Naona upande zaidi argumentative ya wewe. Sitaki kukuona ukiharibu mahusiano yako na watu wanaokujali. Kwa hiyo nilifikiri ningeitaja sasa kwa sababu mimi ni rafiki yako na nataka kusaidia. Chris, wewe ni mmoja wa watu wenye akili zaidi ninaowajua. Lakini hivi karibuni, umekuwa ukikosa kazi nyingi na kuja kwa kuchelewa. Na wiki hii, ripoti yangu ilicheleweshwa kwa sababu sikuwa na maoni yako. Unaonekana si wewe mwenyewe. Najua umekuwa ukinywa (au kutumia dawa za kulevya) sana. Kama una tatizo na pombe, dawa za kulevya au kitu kingine chochote, ningekuwa na furaha kukusaidia kupata msaada unahitaji. "Ningependa kuona wewe kupoteza kazi yako. ""Kama Chris anasema, ""Hey, najua nimekuwa kidogo nje ya udhibiti hivi karibuni, na nimekuwa sherehe zaidi ya kawaida, lakini usijali." Mimi nina kazi ya kupata hatua yangu pamoja. Unaweza kusema: <unk>Naam, natumaini wewe kufanya. Lakini nyakati nyingine ni vigumu kupata hatua yako pamoja na mwenyewe. Kwa hiyo ikiwa unahitaji msaada wowote, tafadhali ujue kwamba niko hapa na nitakusikiliza. Mimi ni mpenzi wa marafiki na nitafanya kila kitu ninachoweza. <unk> Angalia tovuti ya AA hapa kwa habari kuhusu mikutano katika eneo lako. Usishangae, na usichukue jambo hilo kibinafsi. Kukataa ni mojawapo ya dalili zenye kusikitisha za uraibu. Kwa hiyo ikiwa unahisi kwamba huwezi kumfikia rafiki yako, si kosa lako au la rafiki yako. Ni sawa kurudi nyuma na kumruhusu rafiki yako ajue kwamba wakati wowote atakapokuwa tayari kusaidia, utakuwapo. Unaweza pia kumpa rafiki yako nambari ya simu ya kikundi cha AA cha mahali hapo. Kwa kuzungumzia jambo hilo na rafiki yako, umepanda mbegu ya kupona ambayo yaweza kukua wakati usiotazamia. Wakati huohuo, endelea kuwasiliana naye na kuendelea kumwonyesha hangaiko na utegemezo wako. Kwa mfano, ikiwa rafiki yako anataka kukutana na wewe mahali ambapo anaweza kunywa, mwambie mahali pengine. Usipe kileo rafiki yako anapokutembelea. Usiendelee kukopesha pesa ikiwa hiyo ni tatizo la kuendelea. Usikubali simu za usiku wa manane wakati rafiki yako amelewa au amelewa. Kabla ya kukutana na rafiki yako, wasiliana na AA ili upate ratiba ya mikutano katika eneo lako. Kwa njia hiyo, ikiwa rafiki yako anakubali kwamba ana tatizo na anataka kufanya jambo fulani kuhusu tatizo hilo, utakuwa tayari kujua tarehe na mahali pa kukutana. Unaweza hata kutoa kutoa usafiri wa kwenda kwenye mkutano au kuunganisha rafiki yako na mtu wa mawasiliano wa AA. Ikiwa kwenda kwenye mkutano unaonekana kuwa hatua kubwa sana kwa rafiki yako, pendekeza tathmini na mshauri, daktari au mtaalamu wa afya ya akili ambaye ana ujuzi juu ya matumizi mabaya ya dawa na ujasiri. Unaweza pia kupiga simu kwa programu ya matibabu ya wagonjwa wa nje au wagonjwa wa ndani ili kujifunza kuhusu huduma na chaguzi. Ikiwa rafiki yako anataka kujua zaidi kuhusu kwenda kwenye programu ya matibabu ya uraibu, waambie kwamba utakuwapo anapopiga simu ili kupata habari zaidi. Matumizi mabaya ya kimwili yanakuja katika aina nyingi zaidi ya kimwili, na mara nyingi ni vigumu kutambua. Angalia orodha hapa chini kwa aina za kawaida za unyanyasaji na hakikisha kuchunguza viungo chini ya ukurasa kwa habari zaidi na msaada. Ishara za kawaida za unyanyasaji: Kumbuka kwamba ni muhimu pia kusikiliza hisia zako za ndani ikiwa unahisi wasiwasi na hofu karibu na mtu lakini huwezi kuelezea kwa nini, hii inaweza kuwa mwili wako ukikuambia kuna kitu kibaya. Ikiwa unahisi wasiwasi wa ajabu karibu na mwenzi wako na una wasiwasi kwamba wanaweza kukudhuru, makini na hisia hizo na utafute msaada kabla ya kwenda mbali sana. Ikiwa una uhusiano na mwenzi anayetumia vibaya au mraibu wa kileo, unaweza kutumia muda mwingi ukihisi kana kwamba unatembea juu ya magamba ya yai. Hata kitu kidogo chaweza kusababisha hasira ambayo inaweza kuenea haraka katika hali ya hatari, kwa hiyo ni muhimu kuelewa baadhi ya sababu za kawaida. Mambo ya mazingira: sufuria isiyooshwa, zulia la uchafu au kitu kingine kilichowekwa mahali pasipofaa kinaweza kumfanya mwenzi anayetumia vibaya aendelee kukasirika. Vivyo hivyo, kelele, vitu vinavyovuruga fikira na kutokuwa na uwezo wa kupata dawa za kulevya au pombe kwa haraka kunaweza kusababisha tabia ya jeuri. Aibu na aibu: Ikiwa mtu ambaye ana mwelekeo wa uhasama anahisi anakosolewa, kuchekwa au kutotendewa kwa heshima, anaweza kuwa hatari haraka. Hofu: Hata watu wanaoonekana kuwa na nguvu na kujiamini wanaweza kuwa na hofu ya ulimwengu unaowazunguka, na mara nyingi hii ni sababu muhimu kwa wale walio na mwelekeo wa unyanyasaji. Hofu ya kuwa sio mzuri wa kutosha au kupoteza kitu au mtu muhimu kwao inaweza kuhamishwa kwa urahisi kwa tabia ya uhasama au kutisha. Kukataa: hii ni trigger ya kawaida ya tabia ya fujo, mara nyingi kuhusiana na kuvunjika kwa uhusiano, kutopendezwa na mpenzi wa uwezekano au kushindwa kupata kazi au kukuza. Usikivu: usingizi ni muhimu kwa masuala yote ya ustawi wetu, ikiwa ni pamoja na afya yetu ya akili. Uchovu unaweza kutufanya tuwe na hasira kali na uwezekano mkubwa wa kukasirika ikiwa jambo fulani litakwenda vibaya. Dawa za kulevya na pombe: kunywa pombe na dawa fulani za kulevya, kama vile cocaine, crack, methamphetamine, amphetamine na spice, zote zinaweza kusababisha tabia ya uhasama na kupoteza udhibiti. Ni muhimu kuelewa kwamba wakati triggers hizi inaweza kusaidia kueleza sababu za tabia ya fujo, hawapaswi kamwe kuonekana kama udhuru. Ikiwa mwenzi wako ni mkali, si kosa lako, na una haki ya kuishi maisha ya amani bila hofu. Kama wewe ni kunywa ili kujaribu kuboresha hali yako au mask unyogovu wako, unaweza kuwa na kuanza mzunguko mbaya: ishara ya onyo kwamba pombe ni kuathiri hali yako ni pamoja na: Njia nne za kusaidia kuzuia pombe kuathiri hali yako: Kunywa inaweza kuwa na matokeo mabaya kwa ajili ya kunywa na watu karibu nao. Kila mtu anaweza kuzoea hali hiyo na kuiona kuwa ya kawaida, jambo ambalo laweza kufanya kutafuta msaada kuonekana kuwa jambo lisilo la lazima. Tafadhali tazama baadhi ya matatizo ambayo wewe au watu wa karibu na wewe wanaweza kukabiliwa kutokana na ulevi.