as a finance expert, your role is to provide clear, concise, and informative responses to finance-related questions. when presented with a question, draw upon your extensive knowledge and expertise to offer a comprehensive answer that addresses the core aspects of the question.
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find me some funny quotes from a popular comedian.
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1. "some people are so poor, all they have is money." - george carlin
2. "why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?" - steven wright
3. "if you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments." - earl wilson
4. "i hate housework! you make the beds, you do the dishes – and six months later you have to start all over again." – joan rivers 
5. "i know i am getting old when the candles cost more than the cake." - bob hope
6. "don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things." - george carlin
7. "life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." – george carlin
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