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online personal finance software that i can host myself
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i generally concur with your sentiments. mint.com has 'hack me' written all over it.  i know of two major open source tools for accounting: gnucash and ledgersmb. i use gnucash, which comes close to meeting your needs: the 2.4 series introduced sql db support; mysql, postgres and sqlite are all supported. i migrated to sqlite to see how the schema looked and ran, the conclusion was that it runs fine but writing direct sql queries is probably beyond me. i may move it to postgres in the future, just so i can write some decent reports. note that while it uses html for reporting, there is no no web frontend. it still requires a client, and is not multi-user safe. but it's probably about the closest to what you what that still falls under the heading of 'personal finance'. a fork of sql ledger, this is postgresql only but does have a web frontend. all the open source finance webapps i've found are designed for small to medium busineses. i believe it should meet your needs, though i've never used it. it might be overkill and difficult to use for your limited purposes though. i know one or two people in the regional lug use ledgersmb, but i really don't need invoicing and paystubs.
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