#AmericanDiary 

January 28, 2025 5:30 am
America in the time of Trump. Dawn. The doorbell rings! My heart skips 419 beats. They have come for me, I am sure! INS! ICE! Alphabet soup of terror. 

#BigLion is scared sh*tless, he starts moaning and barking like a dog, talmabout, "I don't want to go to Calabar!" He now identifies as a dog, cowardly lion! 

Wait, if they come for me, what happens to him, how can they separate families, he was born here in America!!! OMG, I hug him close to still his fears. 

I reach for my AMERICAN passport in my pocket and the cheat sheet containing the phone numbers of all my WHITE neighbors and my WHITE mother. 

I glance at my Ring app, there is a uniformed delivery warrior at the door. He is dropping off a packet and scurrying off to the next conspicuous consumer. Amazon. I heave a huge sigh of relief and almost weep tears of joy. I don't want to go back home to the thugs of Nigeria. I love America smh. 

Terrifying times. ML was going to work early this morning, she forgot her Made in Dubai Louis Vitton bag containing her US passport, social security card, Alien Registration Certificate, birth certificate and bail money. I chased after her in the darkness and hurriedly flung the bag into Mercedes Benz 419 GLE. 

God abeg o! Who will pay all these bills if she gets deported to "Columbia"? I am a jobless house husband! Our opekes play too much. 

The next thing she will say she is going to that Nigerian church down the road to pray. To do what? Can't you see that God has sent Trump and his God to Nigerian churches, to restaurants, to hospitals, and to hospices to hunt down illegal aliens?  

Evil man, he doesn't care that we all voted for him because he promised to make us great men and women again, the devil is a liar! 

Hey you! You are in church? Doing what? What are you doing there? They are coming for you! God abeg o! 

The elephant saw the lion running and she asked the lion,  "Why are you running?" Lion said, "They are arresting goats down the road, they just arrested giraffe and he is trying to prove to them that he is not a goat!' Naim elephant pick race!!! Who wants to die? 

What came from Amazon? George Will's book, you know George Will, right? He is a conservative Republican writer, one of the last of the Mohicans, fierce writer, who hates Trump fiercely. They will deport him to Rwanda, I think. Let me send the book to my friend before bounty hunters find it in my house, smh! 

Wait o! In Mississippi they are paying $1,000 to bounty hunters per person! Hmmm! Maybe I should move there and make some money! I am an American! A 28-year old warrior! Let me go and be a warrior for America! Make America Great Again! MAGA. MUGU! 

*pounds cute American chest*
#AmericanDiary #BigLion