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22 September. — It is all over. Arthur has gone back to Ring, and has taken Quincey Morris with him. What a fine fellow is Quincey! I believe in my heart of hearts that he suffered as much about Lucy's death as any of us, but he bore himself through it like a moral Viking. If America can go on breeding men like that, she will be a power in the world indeed. Van Helsing is lying down, having a rest preparatory to his journey. He goes to Amsterdam tonight, but says he returns tomorrow night, that he only wants to make some arrangements which can only be made personally. He is to stop with me then, if he can. He says he has work to do in London which may take him some time. Poor old fellow! I fear that the strain of the past week has broken down even his iron strength. All the time of the burial he was, I could see, putting some terrible restraint on himself. When it was all over, we were standing beside Arthur, who, poor fellow, was speaking of his part in the operation where his blood had been transfused to his Lucy's veins. I could see Van Helsing's face grow white and purple by turns. Arthur was saying that he felt since then as if they two had been really married, and that she was his wife in the sight of God. None of us said a word of the other operations, and none of us ever shall. Arthur and Quincey went away together to the station, and Van Helsing and I came on here. The moment we were alone in the carriage he gave way to a regular fit of hysterics. He has denied to me since that it was hysterics, and insisted that it was only his sense of humor asserting itself under very terrible conditions. He laughed till he cried, and I had to draw down the blinds lest any one should see us and misjudge. And then he cried, till he laughed again, and laughed and cried together, just as a woman does. I tried to be stern with him, as one is to a woman under the circumstances, but it had no effect. Men and women are so different in manifestations of nervous strength or weakness! Then when his face grew grave and stern again I asked him why his mirth, and why at such a time. His reply was in a way characteristic of him, for it was logical and forceful and mysterious. He said,
"Ah, you don't comprehend, friend John. Do not think that I am not sad, though I laugh. See, I have cried even when the laugh did choke me. But no more think that I am all sorry when I cry, for the laugh he come just the same. Keep it always with you that laughter who knock at your door and say, 'May I come in?' is not true laughter. No! He is a king, and he come when and how he like. He ask no person, he choose no time of suitability. He say, 'I am here.' Behold, in example I grieve my heart out for that so sweet young girl. I give my blood for her, though I am old and worn. I give my time, my skill, my sleep. I let my other sufferers want that she may have all. And yet I can laugh at her very grave, laugh when the clay from the spade of the sexton drop upon her coffin and say 'Thud, thud!' to my heart, till it send back the blood from my cheek. My heart bleed for that poor boy, that dear boy, so of the age of mine own boy had I been so blessed that he live, and with his hair and eyes the same.
"There, you know now why I love him so. And yet when he say things that touch my husband-heart to the quick, and make my father-heart yearn to him as to no other man, not even you, friend John, for we are more level in experiences than father and son, yet even at such a moment King Laugh he come to me and shout and bellow in my ear, 'Here I am! Here I am!' till the blood come dance back and bring some of the sunshine that he carry with him to my cheek. Oh, friend John, it is a strange world, a sad world, a world full of miseries, and woes, and troubles. And yet when King Laugh come, he make them all dance to the tune he play. Bleeding hearts, and dry bones of the churchyard, and tears that burn as they fall, all dance together to the music that he make with that smileless mouth of him. And believe me, friend John, that he is good to come, and kind. Ah, we men and women are like ropes drawn tight with strain that pull us different ways. Then tears come, and like the rain on the ropes, they brace us up, until perhaps the strain become too great, and we break. But King Laugh he come like the sunshine, and he ease off the strain again, and we bear to go on with our labor, what it may be."
I did not like to wound him by pretending not to see his idea, but as I did not yet understand the cause of his laughter, I asked him. As he answered me his face grew stern, and he said in quite a different tone,
"Oh, it was the grim irony of it all, this so lovely lady garlanded with flowers, that looked so fair as life, till one by one we wondered if she were truly dead, she laid in that so fine marble house in that lonely churchyard, where rest so many of her kin, laid there with the mother who loved her, and whom she loved, and that sacred bell going 'Toll! Toll! Toll!' so sad and slow, and those holy men, with the white garments of the angel, pretending to read books, and yet all the time their eyes never on the page, and all of us with the bowed head. And all for what? She is dead, so! Is it not?"
"Well, for the life of me, Professor," I said, "I can't see anything to laugh at in all that. Why, your expression makes it a harder puzzle than before. But even if the burial service was comic, what about poor Art and his trouble? Why his heart was simply breaking."
"Just so. Said he not that the transfusion of his blood to her veins had made her truly his bride?"
"Yes, and it was a sweet and comforting idea for him."
"Quite so. But there was a difficulty, friend John. If so that, then what about the others? Ho, ho! Then this so sweet maid is a polyandrist, and me, with my poor wife dead to me, but alive by Church's law, though no wits, all gone, even I, who am faithful husband to this now-no-wife, am bigamist."
"I don't see where the joke comes in there either!" I said, and I did not feel particularly pleased with him for saying such things. He laid his hand on my arm, and said,
"Friend John, forgive me if I pain. I showed not my feeling to others when it would wound, but only to you, my old friend, whom I can trust. If you could have looked into my heart then when I want to laugh, if you could have done so when the laugh arrived, if you could do so now, when King Laugh have pack up his crown, and all that is to him, for he go far, far away from me, and for a long, long time, maybe you would perhaps pity me the most of all."
I was touched by the tenderness of his tone, and asked why.
"Because I know!"
And now we are all scattered, and for many a long day loneliness will sit over our roofs with brooding wings. Lucy lies in the tomb of her kin, a lordly death house in a lonely churchyard, away from teeming London, where the air is fresh, and the sun rises over Hampstead Hill, and where wild flowers grow of their own accord.
So I can finish this diary, and God only knows if I shall ever begin another. If I do, or if I even open this again, it will be to deal with different people and different themes, for here at the end, where the romance of my life is told, ere I go back to take up the thread of my life-work, I say sadly and without hope, "FINIS".
The neighborhood of Hampstead is just at present exercised with a series of events which seem to run on lines parallel to those of what was known to the writers of headlines as "The Kensington Horror," or "The Stabbing Woman," or "The Woman in Black." During the past two or three days several cases have occurred of young children straying from home or neglecting to return from their playing on the Heath. In all these cases the children were too young to give any properly intelligible account of themselves, but the consensus of their excuses is that they had been with a "bloofer lady." It has always been late in the evening when they have been missed, and on two occasions the children have not been found until early in the following morning. It is generally supposed in the neighborhood that, as the first child missed gave as his reason for being away that a "bloofer lady" had asked him to come for a walk, the others had picked up the phrase and used it as occasion served. This is the more natural as the favourite game of the little ones at present is luring each other away by wiles. A correspondent writes us that to see some of the tiny tots pretending to be the "bloofer lady" is supremely funny. Some of our caricaturists might, he says, take a lesson in the irony of grotesque by comparing the reality and the picture. It is only in accordance with general principles of human nature that the "bloofer lady" should be the popular role at these al fresco performances. Our correspondent naively says that even Ellen Terry could not be so winningly attractive as some of these grubby-faced little children pretend, and even imagine themselves, to be.
There is, however, possibly a serious side to the question, for some of the children, indeed all who have been missed at night, have been slightly torn or wounded in the throat. The wounds seem such as might be made by a rat or a small dog, and although of not much importance individually, would tend to show that whatever animal inflicts them has a system or method of its own. The police of the division have been instructed to keep a sharp lookout for straying children, especially when very young, in and around Hampstead Heath, and for any stray dog which may be about.
We have just received intelligence that another child, missed last night, was only discovered late in the morning under a furze bush at the Shooter's Hill side of Hampstead Heath, which is perhaps, less frequented than the other parts. It has the same tiny wound in the throat as has been noticed in other cases. It was terribly weak, and looked quite emaciated. It too, when partially restored, had the common story to tell of being lured away by the "bloofer lady".
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How do Dr. Abraham Van Helsing, Quincey P. Morris, Dr. John Seward, and Arthur Holmwood all try to save Miss Lucy Westenra?
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A blog about the books I read, and the books I write, the shows I watch, the music I listen to, and is only occasionally about my pets
Monday, January 11, 2016
The Noise Paradox
The good news for you, gentle readers, is that I'm down to the last ten chapters, so it won't be long now before you'll get to stop reading editing-themed posts. Of course, they'll likely be replaced by oh-my-god-the-beta-readers-have-my-book freak-outs, but I'm sure that will be fun for you, too.
Anyway, let's get to editing. Or, more specifically, my specific editing-related quirks,
(And for those of you keeping score at home, I'm now on my second red pen and highlighter.)
I need noise when I work. I can't sit in a quiet room and get any work done. If I'm sitting in that quiet room, I'm looking around for something to make noise. The noise, for whatever reason, helps me settle and helps me focus.
This is something that The Man cannot understand. He would be the polar opposite of me, requiring quiet for those things requiring one's concentration. So he marvels at me when I'm sitting on the floor in the living room, my manuscript on the coffee table and Gilmore Girls playing on the TV.
But then The Man also marvels when I pack up and leave the room because he's talking on the phone, or doing a Duolingo lesson within earshot. Yesterday, I worked in the living room until The Man started to do the dishes. The water was too loud, so I went to work on the screened porch until the neighbors started screaming at each other again, then came inside and worked in the living room (The Man promised to be quiet) until the washing machine was making too much noise for me, so I packed up yet again and went to work on a side table in my office, the door closed to outside noise, but music playing in the background.
It turns out that I have specific needs when it comes to noise. I know it's weird—the whole damn thing is weird—but I do. Here—because I know you care so so much—are my editing noise requirements:
—Any and all music must be instrumental. If there are words, I'll be focused on them and not the words I wrote, which means my story-specific soundtracks are out of the question. When editing, I usually rely upon the Lord of the Rings or Game of Thrones soundtracks. But there are, of course, others. Yesterday, I created a Game of Thrones station on Pandora and listened to that.
—Any TV shows must be ones with which I am so familiar that I don't have to pay attention to the dialogue. Such series include the aforementioned Gilmore Girls, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Veronica Mars. Firefly, sadly, doesn't make the list because—although I know the show so well I could recite the whole damn series—every time it's on, I can't focus on anything else other than how much I love it, and how angry I am at Fox for cancelling it. (Seriously, Fox—some wounds never heal.) I can't do any show that has a laugh track—that's way too distracting. Occasionally, I can listen to the Red Sox game—but never the Patriots. When my beloved Pats are on, I am always standing in front of the TV screaming obscenities at it, but that may be another post for another day.
But since that day is not today, I'm going to sign off now. Those last ten chapters are calling my name. Hope you enjoyed this inside peek in the madness that is my mind.
How about you? Do you prefer noise or silence when writing/editing/revising? Have any soundtrack recommendations for me?
Happy Monday, all!
31 comments:
The final ten chapters? Oh, how exciting! Best of luck wrapping 'em up!ReplyDelete
I'm weird and am perfectly fine with noise or silence when I work. If I'm listening to music, though, it has to be a single song I can listen to 1000x straight, haha. (Again, I'm weird, but since you claim to be weird, too, I guess I'm in good company!)Replies
I do have songs that I can listen to 1000x in a row, but I've never tried that while working.Delete
I think The Man will really love this experiment!
I used to do the noise but now I go for quiet. I have the shows going on in the background when I'm visiting blogs. Catching up on Limitless while I'm reading yours.ReplyDeleteReplies
I'm actually listening to Gilmore Girls while I'm doing the blog thing this morning.Delete
I love Limitless so far. Great show!
I prefer quiet, but a white noise kind of sound, like the whooshing of distant traffic is okay, too. It really depends on what I'm working on, where I am in the process, etc.ReplyDelete
Good luck with the edits!
When my favorite sports teams are on, they are usually struggling, and I find all sorts of other things to do rather than watch them go up in flames.ReplyDelete
I can work with music playing and the television on. Sound muted of course. That would be overload.
Happy editing!Replies
If I muted the TV, I wouldn't get anything done. Weird, I know. :)Delete
And the Red Sox had a pretty dismal season last year (not to mention the Pats losing four of their last six games), so I know all about not wanting to watch your team go up in flames. :)
I can't do TV (especially not the shows you mentioned... I love them way too much not to watch!), but I do instrumental music too. Like you said, no lyrics, but I really like Edward Elgar, The Piano Guys, or the smooth jazz TV station, depending on my mood. I did heavy metal for a little while (since I couldn't understand the words), but that made my book a little... weird.ReplyDelete
Good luck with the rest of your editing!Replies
Every editing session, I have to find the right show. It changes. The first book was edited to the sounds of Buffy, while this new book has been all Gilmore Girls thus far.Delete
I've never really been into Heavy Metal, but I have a pretty weird book...maybe I should give it a try. :)
I like to have silence when I'm writing/editing. I'm way too easily distracted.ReplyDelete
Good luck with those ten chapters!Replies
Thanks! I think I shall need some luck...Delete
I'm just like you with my music; must be movie soundtracks. LOTR, anything Hans Zimmer, or John Williams, (or John Powell, or Steve Jablonsky).ReplyDeleteReplies
Hans Zimmer and John Wiliams are excellent. I've heard of the other two you mentioned, but for the life of me I can't think of what they've done. Time for a Google search!Delete
I envy your ability to edit with noise. And watching TV would be the worse, although I wish I could.ReplyDeleteReplies
It has to be the right show, though. I tried listening to Friends over the weekend, and it did not work at all.Delete
I'm the same way with music. Can't have vocals. Although there is one Indie album I have that seems to break that mold. Happy New Year! :)ReplyDeleteReplies
Wait...What Indie album? I want to know!!!Delete
I need noise too. I am always writing to music. Any music with lyrics. Typically I listen to what I'm in the mood for or what'll inspire the scene I'm writing. I also write and edit with the TV on. Lately, it's been Sex and the City in the background.ReplyDelete
I need noise too. I am always writing to music. Any music with lyrics. Typically I listen to what I'm in the mood for or what'll inspire the scene I'm writing. I also write and edit with the TV on. Lately, it's been Sex and the City in the background.ReplyDelete
I can't write with lyrics going. It has to just be music. It's probably the same for editing... if I ever just sat and edited, which I almost never do.ReplyDelete
I put mindless TV on when I'm writing or editing. Shows like Dirty Jobs or documentaries. I don't have to pay attention, but I can stop and take a little break and that really helps me.ReplyDelete
I need music playing, and lyrics don't bother me, but the TV would be a distraction.ReplyDelete
I would work in a sound proof chamber if I could. I often put on headphones with no music so I can write in silence.ReplyDelete
And go, go, go on those edits. Must be nice to be working with a finished ms again. *sniff* I wouldn't know. #stillwriting
May I recommend listening to the Daft Punk soundtrack for Tron: Legacy? It is all on YouTube and is wonderfully instrumental (I think it's genius). I'd love to hear your thoughts about it. Definitely made me a lover of Daft Punk.ReplyDelete
I would never be able to get any writing done with the TV on. You, MJ, are insane. But, you know, in a good way.ReplyDelete
For blog writing, I can usually listen to any type of music. But for real writing, I need either silence, instrumental music, songs I've never heard before, or songs in another language (for which my go-to band is Sigur Ros). Edit away!
I prefer noise when I work, too. It drowns out all the background noises and intrusive thoughts in my head. As long as it isn't something that I get too much into, it works. Just like you said, you can't be too focused on the series!ReplyDelete
I can't do music at all, even instrumental, when I want to focus. But I find that many people do need music (which is why I frequently let students listen to music while they're doing their work in class). On the other hand, running water wouldn't bother me.ReplyDelete
Once upon a time I had a soundtrack to The Princess Bride. I think. Sadly, it was on cassette. I'm also partial to Quigley Down Under (although the theme can get repetitive) and The Shawshank Redemption (but a couple of those tracks have lyrics). But my favorite instrumentals are actually band music by Gustav Holst (of The Planets fame). His 1st and 2nd Suites for Military Band. I played them, back when I played the oboe, in school, and I still love to listen to them.
Have you ever seen Bunheads? It's the show Amy Sherman Palladino did after Gilmore Girls.
Yeah, I need noise too. I can do word music when editing, but for writing I much prefer movie scores. How To Train My Dragon and Rise of the Guardians are my go to right now,but I do also love Lord of the Rings. I've tried Star Wars, but it's too dramatic. I also love Bond. (all female electric string quartet)ReplyDelete
I'm the same. Weirdly enough, I love working in crowded restaurants, but I can't do the same in my office where a few people are talking every now and then.ReplyDelete
Let me know if/when you need another set of eyes on your work.
I would say I'm pretty similar to you when it comes to noise. I can listen to TV, but only if it's certain shows that I'm familiar with but can avoid getting totally engrossed in. And I can't listen to music with lyrics either.ReplyDelete

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Vice-chancellors are growing frustrated by the "flurry" of new government levies that will substantially increase university running costs, the head of the Russell Group has said.
Wendy Piatt (pictured), director general of the mission group representing 24 research-intensive universities, said that there is also considerable unhappiness that higher education institutions' fundraising efforts would soon be restricted by new rules aimed at cracking down on unethical practices in the charitable sector.
"We feel quite exasperated by this and are pushing to be exempted," Dr Piatt told an audience at the Association of University Administrators' annual conference in Leeds on 22 March.
As large charities, universities will soon fall under the remit of a new regulator introduced in the wake of scandals exposed last summer regarding aggressive fundraising practices.
Those charities, including universities, that spend more than £100,000 a year on fundraising will have to pay a levy to finance the new Fundraising Regulator.
Dr Piatt said that it was unfair that universities had been "dragged into regulation that covers charities".
Efforts by universities to build lifelong relationships with their alumni should not be viewed in the same way as begging letters sent by charities or aggressive cold-calling methods employed in some cases.
Asking a graduate to contribute to their alma mater represented an "entirely different relationship to cold-calling", claimed Dr Piatt, saying that the rules were a "major threat to an income stream" for universities.
"The irony is that successive governments have encouraged us to diversify sources of income so we do not depend on the state, including encouraging us to build a relationship with alumni," she added.
Universities will also have to pay a new apprenticeship levy that requires all employers with a salary bill in excess of £3 million to contribute to a new training fund from April 2017, Dr Piatt said.
"That is 0.5 per cent of payroll," she explained.
New proposals to stop organisations using state funds to lobby the government may also have a negative impact on universities, she said.
However, the "flurry of levies and additional charges" due to be imposed on universities is unlikely to include the proposed £1,000 annual levy on employers who use skilled workers from outside the European Union, Dr Piatt said.
"We have been led to believe from comments in Parliament that the levy will not be charged on employees who have a PhD qualification," she said.
"That would be a big relief," added Dr Piatt, saying that similar levies on overseas workers introduced in other countries had generally sought to remove staff with doctoral qualifications from restrictions.


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Tuesday, August 6, 2013
August Blog Give Away
Today, the prize is a Thermofax screen and scraper. I'll be announcing the winner on this post every Friday.
If you didn't win the prize you can always order any Thermofax designs here: http://fabricimagery.com/category/circles-and-dots/
28 comments:
- tiedyejudy said...
Hi, Susan! What is best so far about this summer is the fun I have been having trying new techniques, including some I learned from your Soy Wax DVD! And I just tried using Thermofax screens recently, so I'm hot to try more... must check out your selection, just in case you don't draw my name!
- August 6, 2013 at 5:25 AM
- amie said...
Hi Susan,
the best part of my summer has been catching up on my reading...and staying cool!!!
- August 6, 2013 at 6:24 AM
- hehjude said...
Hi Susan! The best thing about my summer so far is that I've had a chance to organize lots of my "stuff". I'm still in the process but can see an ending soon. Then, I will be able to play again! I've got lots of ideas for mixed media and fabric painting. Your video is awesome! Thanks for the chance to win!
- August 6, 2013 at 6:36 AM
- Lisa said...
This summer has not been very relaxing at all. I've spent the summer working as a chauffeur to my two teenage daughters. Thus the best part of my summer was being able to go to southern California with the family for a few days vacation. My favorite part was going to the beach and sticking my toes in the sand and the ocean. The weather was perfect and it was sooo relaxing!
- August 6, 2013 at 10:31 AM
- Jeannie said...
Summer has been tough. After tending the parents since December, Dad passed in his sleep. It has taken a while to get back to creating, but I am back with a new focus. Life is too short to dwell on negatives. And, for my 60th birthday, I am building the playhouse I have always wanted. :) (Your dvd on soy wax printing arrived this week! Woo Hoo!)
- August 6, 2013 at 11:45 AM
- Penny Schine Gold said...
Best things so far are a week on Vashon Island, WA and getting my dye studio at home organized!
- August 6, 2013 at 11:47 AM
- tesuque said...
In June, I had the opportunity to take a shibori class with some highly creative people.
I now have so many things I want to try; winter won't seem long at all!
- August 6, 2013 at 4:05 PM
- Jennifer said...
Spending time with my family and trying lots of different techniques in my studio.
- August 6, 2013 at 5:23 PM
- Ann said...
Best of the summer is the fabulous weather. At least dyeing fabric & threads was much more enjoyable!
- August 6, 2013 at 9:39 PM
- Barbara said...
June started off the summer with a trip to Lopez Island, WA and a Medallion's workshop with Gwen Marston. This was the 1st time I've been to the PNW and I'll certainly return.
- August 7, 2013 at 7:38 AM
- Dale Anne Potter said...
The best part of summer is right now! Temps. Are not hot, the nites cool off nice, no bugs and the occasional rain shower! Smells awesome and the sky is gorgeous!!!
- August 7, 2013 at 8:10 AM
Hi Susan,
My summer started with a class with Katie Pasquini which was so inspiring. It's led to lots of experimentation and fun. So the best part of my summer has been experimenting with fabric and fibre.
- August 7, 2013 at 8:47 AM
- carolegoldquilts said...
My whole summer has been wonderful, but if I had to choose my favourite thing it would be the time I spent in Sisters, Oregon taking classes and enjoying the outdoor quilt show. I hope you are having a great summer, too, Susan!
- August 7, 2013 at 10:49 AM
- Unknown said...
Visiting with family and friends, and, of course, trying some new things. Love to thermofax email@example.com
- August 7, 2013 at 12:00 PM
- Jennifer Scantlebury Vienneau said...
Growing enough basil to make pesto!! And growing enough tomatoes for at least two tomatoes sandwiches!!
- August 7, 2013 at 4:18 PM
Quilt workshops last weekend and AQS quilt show next week with more workshops and learnings. Paradise!
- August 8, 2013 at 12:29 PM
- Teresa said...
Being outside, gathering plant materials, dyeing outside...all wonderful things about summer.
- August 8, 2013 at 1:06 PM
- Sheryll said...
This summer has been fun because each weekend I've made a different home-made ice cream. Yum!
- August 8, 2013 at 1:08 PM
- l carolyn Ghearing said...
Well...I know , a deep subject!...I am very new to your site and I think I am in love with your process! I have been art quilting for about five years now and love it! But I want to explore other ways to "decorate" my quilts...hmmm thermofaxing, screen printing...I need to tke some Rt classes, think one of the local colleges would take an old lady who simply wants to learn?...think I will ask...but, I digress, you are an inspiration to me. Thank you for sharing
- August 8, 2013 at 1:31 PM
- Soloart said...
Best about the summer is the cool weather so I can finish my daughters wedding dress, serviettes and bridesmaids trousers without roasting at the same time! Never done so much handsewing in my life - and never again -
- August 8, 2013 at 1:58 PM
- Gisela Towner said...
Was hoping to do a lot of dyeing this summer, but was picked to foster a couple of dogs. They're young and a little rambunctious, so I better hold off on dyeing. White pups could wind up purple and teal...
- August 8, 2013 at 2:05 PM
The Cabot Trail in Cape Breton...standing quietly looking out over the Atlantic Ocean with a misty rain falling....and sunshine everywhere.
Watching for whales and whales watching me to make sure I had gone before they came up to blow.....
- August 8, 2013 at 2:23 PM
- Chris said...
The best thing about this winter in Tasmania are the auroras that have been extraordinarily beautiful when I've braved the chilly air outside on the rare cloudless nights. More promised this weekend!
- August 8, 2013 at 2:39 PM
- Weedy said...
The best thing about my summer? Like you, I live in the Pacific Northwest and it is finally warm...er, hot! And it is the time of year for my birthday and my birthday rose is blooming. I signed up for a one-day photo safari of the Palouse (where I live)a couple of weeks ago and came home with lots of pictures for all kinds of inspirations. And on the really hot (100+F) days, I mowed through 4 books in 6 days.
- August 8, 2013 at 7:07 PM
- Terrie Voigt said...
Driving over Trail Ridge Road, the highest paved road in the US, in the Colorado Rocky Mountain National Park was thrilling and much scarier than I had imagined.
- August 8, 2013 at 7:54 PM
The Dingle Penninsula in Ireland on a rather misty summer day in June! It was gorgeous, my favorite color is green, I was not disappointed!
July found me making quilts for Calgary flood relief, a very Nobel cause and one I am proud to have been a small part of.
August, little grand kiddies visiting me at the lake. My only complaint, summer is going too fast!
- August 9, 2013 at 10:57 AM
Didn't want to remain anonymous.
- August 9, 2013 at 10:59 AM
- Gloria said...
I guessed that was Bonnie! (above) As visiting Ireland was the best part of my summer, too!
I've also been enjoying the heat, resting and relaxing at the cabin as much as possible!
And the hucalberry picking is great!
- August 10, 2013 at 8:24 PM


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SINGAPORE (Reuters Life!) - Memos from North Korean nuclear negotiators are not your average cookbook fodder, but perhaps the world would be a better place if they were, Chris Fair suggests in her genre-defying "culinary castigation" of 10 foreign policy hotspots.
"Cuisines of the Axis of Evil and Other Irritating States" (www.evilcuisines.com) stirs a generous dose of satire into its recipes for Pashtun cardamom tea, Israeli carrot salad and other dinner party fare from "Axis of Evil" states North Korea, Iran, and Iraq; hotspots Israel, India, Pakistan, Cuba, China, Burma (Myanmar); and "Great Satan", the United States.
Political analyst and South Asia expert Fair talked to Reuters Life! about why talking foreign affairs is safer over dinner, and the politics of falafel.
Q: This may be the world's first foreign policy critique cookbook. When and why did you cook it up?
A: "It actually had a sad origin in late 2002, when my brothers were deployed to Iraq. I'm a smart arse by nature, and I was full of anger that the Bush administration had cooked up this ridiculous concept "the Axis of Evil" to justify a war that was unconnected to 9/11. The Axis of Evil dinner party was really just a way of kvetching, and bringing together friends...
After my brothers came back from Iraq it became a fun thing to do — the cookbook came afterwards."
Q: You suggest talking politics over dinner lessens the chance of fist-fights breaking out. Why?
A: "Dinner parties are actually a relatively safe environment to have these discussions in, because you cut people slack... Everyone's drinking, which sort of gives people a license to be obnoxious, and speak their minds even if they don't have one..."
Q: The recipes are from far-flung countries that are not always easy, or possible, for the average person to visit. Is cooking up another nation's food a good way to understand it?
A: "Well, we can't afford to travel now, (laughs), so this might be the cheapest way to get to know the countries — to buy this relatively inexpensive cookbook and cook something from it.
Cuisine is a way that Americans, and others, are much more likely to encounter a foreign culture, in a domesticated safe environment. Vietnamese food is becoming very popular in the States, but very few Americans will actually go to Vietnam."
Q: Some people don't seem to see politics-food links at all?
A: "There's a lot of politics we're not very perceptive about. I'm sure things go by my snout all the time because I'm not attuned... But when I travel I'm constantly thinking about who has food, who doesn't have the food, who's making the food, who's eating the food? It's a personal psychosis!"
Q: What political insights might be sparked if the uninitiated millions knew and loved Cuban-spiced frijoles negros (black beans) and North Korean dwaeji bulkogee (spicy pork)?
A: "When we go out for Korean food, the average American thinks about North Korea as this sort of bastion of lunacy with nuclear weapons. We probably don't take all that seriously the tremendous issues of food security. The average North Korea has very poor access to food and is chronically undernourished.
The near nemesis, Cuba, is routinely battling with food insecurity. I think it's an aspect of our foreign policy that the average American probably doesn't think that much about."
Q: Which dish was the most complicated to learn to cook?
A: "Probably the (Iranian) fesanjan (chicken in walnut and pomegranate stew). That's a dish that you kind of have to know what it tastes like in your head to get it spiced correctly."
Q: You suggest many "national culinary icons" are not timeless, indisputable realities but the products of contingent geopolitical alignments — as with the chickpea dish falafel?
A: "Many countries have interesting political positions about food, and what they want the world to think about what they eat.
In Israel I was gobsmacked to see postcards declaring falafel the national food... This is actually a pretty sensitive issue for many Arabs, many of whom ask: "Why, of all the things that you could lay culinary claim to, do you claim our food?" It parallels the appropriation of Palestinian lands."
Q: Any final advice for defusing arguments and avoiding walk-outs before desert?
A: "Cut them some slack, especially if people are liquored up."
Editing by Bill Tarrant


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Hi there, Sherry Canino here and I am excited to be sharing a project with you today for the Jessica Sporn Designs Creative Team.
For those of you who know me I am a huge lover of tags, art cards, ATC's and have just recently gotten into Project Life / Daily life journaling. I had looked at the cards that there are out for sale and although many of them are nice, I really wanted more personalized ones. After all isn't the whole idea of Project Life documenting things that represents "me?"
How to Create Project Life Cards Video
Watch my video on YouTube https://youtu.be/HIDu55bYChU
So I took my Jessica Sporn Designs stencils and stamps and decided to create my own. I have created a fun video I hope you will enjoy watching and I hope it inspires you to create your own personal Project Life cards that represent your beYOUtiful self!!
How to Create Project Life Cards Video
Watch my video on YouTube https://youtu.be/HIDu55bYChU
Stencils Used:
Six Point Starry Night
Squares and Circles
Three Trees
Teacups and Teapot
Cascading Leaves
Stamps Used:
Butterflies Cube
Tree of Life
You Make Me Smile
Be Happy
Thanks so much for watching, and Happy Creating!!
xo Sherry
Sherry Canino, a former accountant, is a self taught mixed media artist and owner of Canino's Artistic Café. She also works as an art therapist for a local organization. Her style is whimsical, colorful and inspirational and has been featured in Syracuse Women's Magazine. She offers local as well as private art classes in her Liverpool Studio, and art journal or art therapy classes on location for businesses and schools. Find Sherry on Facebook , Instagram, Etsy and on her blog.
Visit Stencil Girl Products and RubberMoon Stamps to see all my designs!
If you haven't already - please connect with me here:
Your comments make me so happy and let me know you were here. I read and treasure every comment and will happily answer any questions as soon as I can.


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Finally beginning my week of moving, cleaning, filming, taking photos, and relaxing. I now officially work part time at 24 hours a week which will give me more time with you guys! I will be filming a whole lot more at least through January when I'm not a full time student yet.
I don't know why I don't reach for this cream shadow more often, it's heaven, but does crease easily.
On Eyes:
L'Oreal Hip Eye Shadow Paint in Nervy
MAC Genuine Treasure Paint Pot
Benefit Bad Gal Lash
False Lashes
On Skin:
Mix of MAC Studio Fix Fluid Foundation, and one pump of Estee Lauder Idealist Skin Illuminator
MAC Blush in Trace Gold (fave of the moment, doubles as eye shadow!)
On Lips:


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Sketch W Friends FREE -Tablets
by: XLabz Technologies Pvt Ltd • 234
All Android applications categories
All Android games categories
by: XLabz Technologies Pvt Ltd • 234
Published: 2012-03-30, by Ana Gracia.
Sketch W Friends free and paid version is a Pictionary game for Tablets in which you need to draw a picture of something and your opponents need to guess it.
This is a multiplaying game, really fun for everyone and with an interesting gamelay similar to a chatroom. You enter a room where a maximum of 8 people are playing. You need to guess the others' drawings to earn points and have yours guessed as quick as possible by the other users.
The problem with this application is that it's not really popular yet and there are not too many people playing. Don't worry, there's enough to fill every game you join, but not so many as some popular games nowadays. Graphics and playability are excellent and this can be a fun alternative to other drawing games, as it really provides challenge and entertainment.
XLabz Technologies Pvt Ltd is the developer of Sketch W Friends Free and paid version and other different applications which are paid ones. If you like drawing and enjoy classic games like pictionary, don't miss it! It's worth it, spread the word.
Tags: sketch w friends review , sketch w friends , draw game vs friends , sketch for friends , sketch it online hd banned , sketch with friends why did i get ban , sketchwfriends not working on
by Anna , Appszoom
Mar 30, 2012
Draw and Guess with friends in this free, live social multiplayer game!
Sketch W Friends is a realtime, multiplayer, online social draw and guess game based on the classic games of Pictionary and Charades.
They say "A picture is worth a thousand words". Are you one of those people who can conjure up a drawing or doodle for just about any word? Then it's time for you to play the multiplayer draw and guess game of "Sketch W Friends!"
Draw and Guess Away!
Sketch W Friends is a free online social multiplayer game that brings a fresh twist to the good old games of Pictionary & Charades. It is a free, realtime, multiplayer, drawing and guessing game where your drawing, guessing and doodling skills are put to the ultimate test. You get to join a "game room" and play this turn-based multiplayer game with players and friends from all over the world- even ones you've never met before! Friends guess your drawing and you guess the drawings of your friends. All you need to do is call upon your drawing and guessing skills and its game on!
Nail-biting Action!
With a bunch of fun and super cool drawing & sketch tools, the experience of Pictionary has been taken to a whole new level. Sketch W Friends is packed with an extensive list of words, which is bound to make you wrack your brains! Now, you can also "ban" players who indulge in foul play and spoil the fun for the rest of you!
The more you play, the better you get at your drawing and guessing! Surprise your opponents with your sketching, guessing & doodling talents! Guess and Sketch the word before the clock stops ticking..tick tock tick tock! The fun never ends with this free online social multiplayer draw and guess game.
Get your name up on that Leaderboard!
Login through Facebook and keep score of your game and of the other players on the leaderboard! What's a game without a little competition, right?
Online Multiplayer Social Game:
What's really cool about Sketch W Friends is that it can now be played across different platforms. Gather all your friends who have PlayBooks, Android Tablets, Android Phones, Kindle Fire, iPhones, iPads and even on Facebook and draw something for fun! Let's doodle & play free Pictionary!
Sketch with friends, draw and guess with friends whenever and wherever you like! Let the guessing begin!
Don't miss out on the fun! Join our community on Facebook for all the latest news, updates, surprise giveaways and rewards!
"Like" us here: www.facebook.com/SketchWFriends.
"Follow" us at
If you enjoy Sketch W Friends, +1 us on Google.
New in v2.0.0:
- Friends & Family: Private Rooms where you can invite your Facebook friends to play with.
- Artistry: A special drawing zone where you can draw at length and share your sketches on Facebook and Twitter.
- Me vs Bot: A unique gaming zone where you can brush up your gaming skills against a robot.
- Color Palette: An all new color palette with a whole range of colors.
SKETCH W FRIENDS IS OPTIMIZED TO WORK ON TABLETS THAT SUPPORT ADOBE AIR RUNTIME AND A MINIMUM SCREEN RESOLUTION OF 1024x600. (SUPPORTS HONEYCOMB DEVICES).
from 234 reviews
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In my opinion I still believe breakfast is a very important part of the day whether you're trying to lose weight or not. The nutrients taken in during breakfast provide the necessary fuel for your daily activities and keep you from snacking or making impulse decisions about food. Breakfast food provides fuel for starting your day of work, school, or activities. Eating a well-balanced breakfast can also help reduce hunger for later in the day. Most importantly for dieters, I believe that starting the day off with good nutrition provides a great mindset for a general healthy lifestyle.
Especially important for those that work out in the morning, you need to break that fast! General rule of thumb is to eat within an hour of waking up. I've never had a problem eating first thing in the morning but I know other people struggle to get something down their throats. It's ok to eat a small portion of your meal to get your day started and then eat something more substantial a little later, the main point is just to get those nutrients! There are a vast number of options for breakfast a few of the more common ones include: eggs, cereal, oatmeal, muffins, smoothies, fruit, toast with peanut butter, and yogurt. And each of these options offer more variations: scrambled eggs vs. over easy, types of cereal, toppings for oatmeal, fillings for muffins, fruit choices for smoothies, the list goes on.
Today I'm sharing my Best Oatmeal recipe. It's an overnight oat variation that I have recently become addicted to and it's time to share with the world!
1/3 cup rolled oats
2 TBSP almond butter
1 scoop chocolate protein powder (about ¼ cup)
¼ cup applesauce (could also use ½ a smashed banana)
1/3 cup milk
Top with chocolate chips, blueberries, carob nibs etc (optional)
1. Mix everything thoroughly in Pyrex bowl or Tupperware.
2. Add milk as needed to combine ingredients, should be thick and creamy not liquidy.
3. Store in fridge overnight, give another mix before enjoying.
A couple of notes about this recipe…. I like these oats cold which makes them perfect for summer but you could also heat them up. I have experimented with several different protein powders and by far the best tasting one in my opinion is Cellucor. No it's not the healthiest protein powder and I usually don't use protein powders regularly until I created this bowl of goodness. But it's definitely one of very few things that actually keep me full until the next meal and I'm going to have to give a lot of that credit to the protein powder. And no I'm not affiliated with Cellucor in any way it's just my own personal preference. But yeah it's delicious and I can't guarantee these tasty results without using that protein powder.
Do you use any protein powders?? Any favorites?? Loyal to one brand??


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Singing Lessons
Our private Singing Lessons are tailored to your ability, goals and needs. Below is a breakdown of what is included in our Singing Lessons.
Singing Lessons cover:
- Repertoire
- Warm-ups
- Scales and Exercises
- Breathing
Breathing Repertoire
This refers to the songs themselves. As our lessons include classical, music theatre, popular and jazz styles, there are a wide variety of songs that we can cover. Repertoire can be based on the student's choice, or on what pieces we feel would best assist that student's learning. Students are also welcome to bring songs they have written. The choice is yours!
During each lesson we will break down the song and apply the techniques learnt during the scales and exercises portion of the lesson. We will work on whatever area the student needs in improvement in, whether that is breathing, diction, pitch, rhythm, dynamics or even just conveying the emotion of the song.
You wouldn't expect a dancer to perform without warming up, so don't sing without warming up. Our warm-ups are designed to be fun and gentle, ensuring vocal safety for the remainder of the lesson. Warm-ups generally take less than 10 minutes at the beginning of each session.
Scales and Exercises
This is the technical part of the session. Our scales and exercises work on your music ear and vocal technique- anything from your pitch, the placement of your tongue, and the shape of your mouth to your diction and pronunciation.
When you get right down to it, all singing is the movement, pressure, and control of breath. Lack of proper breath control can result weak, airy singing that is difficult to pitch. Throughout the lessons we teach exercises and tips on how to properly manage your breath, build up abdominal muscle and increase your pitch accuracy and duration.
Lesson Timetable
Our lessons are flexible and can be organised to suit your timetable, whether before or after school or business hours. We often work for young adults, many of whom have large costs associated with each unit they take. Because of this, we try to keep our lessons cheap and straightforward to organise.
Organising a Lesson
The first lesson with Ellen McCarthy Music is always free! This is so we can establish where you're at and what you need to work on. We'll also go over how many lessons you require and your timetable. After that, all Singing lessons are $40 a session.


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Thursday, 14 February 2008
Attached country codes tool to footer
I found this very useful site which gives information on how people from one country can place a call to numbers other than their own.I have added the site tool to the footer. Just click the footer and it will take you to a page which has two selection boxes where you have to choose the country from where you are dialing and the country to which you want to make a call.Then the webpage shows you as to how to dial the number.I hope people would find it useful.
Labels: WIDGET
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NCSoft has officially announced that Aion will go "truly free" with the Aion: Ascension. The new version of the game will launch later this spring and will include the much-awaited 3.0 content which brings housing, mounts, an increased level cap to 60, new zones and instances into the game.
The team will be running an event called "Rallying the Troops" which will give players an unlimited trial which is capped at level 40 and returning players will have their accounts reactivated for 14 days. In addition, players can take advantage of permanent increased XP as well as other boosts to help level and gear up to experience the new content faster.
Find out more on the Aion site.


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Articles - Choosing an Advisor - Consultant in the Family - Business
E-consultation is ideal for members of a family business
Monday, September 03, 2001
By Kathy J. Marshack, Ph.D., P.S.
"How can I help my Dad? He is part of a family business that he inherited from his father. Now Dad and his brother run the business, except that my Dad does all of the work. Dad is stressed all of the time but doesn't want to disrupt the family. I'd like to come to work for my Dad but I don't want to be part of carrying my lazy uncle. What should I do?"
This was the first problem ever presented to me when I hosted an Internet Chat for members of family firms. We "chatted" for about an hour, via our computers and covered a lot of territory. Even though the young man who contacted me lived on the East Coast, he was able to get expert advice on the precise subject he needed help with because he was comfortable searching the World Wide Web. And by the tone of his messages, he was pleased by the end of our hour to have a plan of action to present to his father.
This new medium of e-consultation is ideal for all business owners, but especially family business members. A son can't always call up his father's accountant or attorney and talk over such problems. He is not likely to feel brave enough to confront his uncle or even his father on such a touchy subject. He could hire his own local consultant or psychologist, but isn't likely to find a local expert on families in business. But from the comfort and privacy of his home, he can "surf the web" until he finds just what he needs. In this case it was a psychologist whose specialty is helping families in business solve those sticky problems that cross over from loving relationships into the business marketplace.
E-consultation is ideal in many other ways as well. It's tailor made for travelers and those of us who work odd hours. You can get on line anywhere, anytime. The convenience means that you will probably take advantage of the service more often and get to the bottom of the problem faster. In fact, a study at Johns Hopkins University found that people open up more quickly using a computer than they do face-to-face with a psychologist. E-consultation may attract those who are too embarrassed to bring a problem up fact-to-face or it may just be that they can ask the questions when they come up, rather than having to wait for an appointment.
As a psychologist for many years I have encouraged my clients to educate themselves about life's problems by reading books and articles. Now in addition to some excellent books, I recommend highly regarded websites. Ignorance about life slows you down. Educating yourself helps to reduce your fears and defensiveness. With knowledge you are in a much better position to problem solve. With knowledge comes confidence and with confidence comes creativity and with creativity, options and solutions start to materialize. It seems to me that the World Wide Web provides us with a wealth of information in a convenient form that can shorten your problem solving time.
Of course there are downsides to this form of consultation too. How do you know who you can trust? Is your e-mail or chat confidential? In addition to a wealth of helpful advice, there is a wealth of garbage and damaging material on the Internet. The surfer does have to beware. You can't assume because someone has a website that they are honorable, legal, credentialed, caring or experienced. However, if you use the same common sense you use in business to size up any person or situation, I think you can sort the wheat from the chaff.
For example, on both of my websites, I not only provide a lot of information on the common issues that families in business face, but I include all of my credentials, extensive information on confidentiality, and several ways to contact me for more information to check on my background. If you are not going to meet the person face-to-face or you do not have a personal referral from someone you trust, take the time to read what the consultant has posted on their website about their qualifications.
If you are still shy about accessing the World Wide Web for information take the plunge. As a business owner you need the Internet to stay alive and ahead of the competition. You already know that. Now consider using the services of websites to keep yourself up to date on more personal issues such as those vexing problems of keeping a healthy balance between your work and your home life.
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'Soft' side of estate planning in the family business
Thursday, February 08, 2001
By Kathy J. Marshack, Ph.D., P.S.
Most entrepreneurs are so caught up in the passion of their enterprise that they rarely plan ahead for the wealth that will accumulate. Although there is a desire to make money, only a select few entrepreneurs actually make money their goal. Rather wealth is a byproduct of having done well. Furthermore, most entrepreneurs did not grow up in wealthy families, so they don't have role models for managing their money or planning for the continuity of the family business. As a result when it comes time to develop an estate plan, many entrepreneurs are at a loss for where to start, or to even know they should start.
It would seem that the logical place to start is with your attorney, CPA, investment advisor or banker. However, while all of these professionals should play a part in the development of your estate plan eventually, the first stop on the way to a successful estate plan is the psychologist's office to deal with the soft side of the family business. Many an estate plan has been left undeveloped because the interpersonal relationships in the family were counter to the best interests of the business.
It is important to understand that the most important part of our lives are spent not as individuals but in relationships. And the relationships that we hold most dear are those of our family (whether or not we hold them fondly or with resentment). Within the context of a family business this fact is quite evident. Regardless of how successful, famous or old the family business, the family still comes first. Understandably the system that has been around the longest has priority.
Gerald Le Van, an attorney explains this concept from the perspective of the changes that have occurred in the business world in the latter half of the 20th century. The Industrial Revolution that lead to the technological revolution created the philosophy that the business world was like a clock, where successful enterprises were machines, conceived by engineers and monitored by accountants, where the goal was maximum industrial productivity at minimum cost, and workers were a collection of individuals or parts of the machine. Today, however, the business world is not envisioned like a clock, but like a rain forest.
According to Le Van, "Enterprises are no longer machines, but ecosystems whose fitness to survive is determined by their relationships to other organizational ecosystems in the rain forest world. Enterprises are no longer collections of individuals, but systems."
Within the world of family business the rain forest model is very effective. Family firms are a system of family members, in-laws, shareholders and stakeholders. These systems interact with vendors, customers, employees, and the commercial community at large. It is a delicate balance to maintain a successful business and a successful family enterprise when the systems are integrated into a family firm. The stress on the system becomes even greater when it is time to develop a plan for the continuity of the business and the family, and a fair apportionment of the wealth. If the family does not have mature and healthy interpersonal relationships, the process of estate planning can be costly, painful and unsuccessful.
Consider for example a CEO who is about to retire. He has two daughters and his instruction to his attorney is to develop a plan that gives each daughter an equal share. One daughter has worked for years for her father, helping him to manage his investments. She has proven to be a leader and visionary, much like her father. The CEO wants her to succeed him in managing the business because he believes in her competence. The other daughter has never worked for her father but has benefited indirectly from the growth and wealth of the business. Although she has never been interested in the management of the business before, now that her father is retiring, she and her husband want to take a more active position in the company. The first daughter doesn't mind continuing as the president of the company. In fact she believes she deserves the position. But she is not pleased about her sister's new interest, nor her father's decision to treat them equally. Where this family once got along just fine, a new problem is growing that they never had to face before. How would you are your advisors handle this "hot potato"?
Consider the entrepreneurial couple, who for decades have successfully founded and managed three enterprises. They have sent two children through college and now one of them works for the family business. The husband, now 58, would like to retire to the new vacation home they have recently built in a resort community. However, the wife is ten years younger and is not ready to retire. She is still excited by the challenge of managing their investments. Furthermore, she is grooming for the presidency, her son by a previous marriage. She would like to stay on long enough to see him well established in the leadership of the business. There are more than business challenges that this couple faces. Will the marriage withstand one working while the other retires? Will the husband trust that the new president will be trained well by his wife? How do other family members feel who are not related to the wife's son?
Consider the attorney who must advise his client on an estate plan. The attorney and his client, a CEO of a national corporation, have always trusted each other and seldom had a conflict. The attorney has always known that his client is alcoholic, but the alcoholism never interfered in their dealings, even though it did cause great personal tragedy for the CEO (i.e., a divorce and estranged children). Now, however the attorney is in conflict over the advice he must give his client. The CEO wants to place in the presidency the only child who is not estranged from him. Unfortunately this child is alcoholic too and has never held a responsible position within the company. The CEO is ignoring other possible successors, such as loyal executives who are not family members. The attorney appears to be in a no-win situation. If the attorney says nothing, the CEO may proceed with a plan that will ruin the company. If the attorney confronts a non-recovering alcoholic with the foolishness of his plan, he may lose a valuable client. In either case there is no healthy solution.
To create an estate plan that truly integrates the success of the family and the firm, it is necessary to seek the help of a psychologist who understands the soft side of families and particularly those families who are in business together. Cleaning up root interpersonal problems can mean the difference between the development of a meaningful estate plan or the development of increased family conflict. For example, with the help of a psychologist, the father with two daughters learned that "fair" was more appropriate than "equal" when it came to dividing the wealth and the business with his daughters. The entrepreneurial couple learned that their marriage could survive the transition of the wife's son to the presidency if they developed a clear buy-in for the son. Fortunately for the CEO of the national corporation, his son went into alcohol treatment after a serous auto accident. The CEO participated in family therapy at the treatment program, which forced him to look at his own untreated alcoholism. He eventually could see how he was letting his alcoholism make business decisions that were neither sound for the business, nor his family.
If you have worked hard to create an enterprise you can be proud of and if you want to create a legacy to pass onto your children and grandchildren, first evaluate the soft side of your family system for any unresolved issues that could spring up and bring the whole system down, during the process of estate planning. Also be prepared to deal with problems that never would have surfaced except for the need to discuss money matters with family. Then take these concerns and realizations to the psychologist, the professional uniquely trained to help with untangling family knots and reweaving a healthy family/business tapestry.
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Cost Containment or Quality Care? Health Issue
Monday, July 06, 1998
By Kathy J. Marshack, Ph.D., P.S.
Are you a good old-fashioned American Capitalist? Most of you who are reading this article are entrepreneurs or business owners or executive or managerial employees of local businesses. This makes you American capitalists in the truest sense of the word. You believe in working hard, competing for profit, and setting your sights on the American Dream of financial success and security. Is it any surprise then that health insurance companies are American capitalists too? They were founded by visionaries who recognized a market just waiting to be tapped, employers and employees who needed help paying for medical expenses and who were willing to pay in advance for the insurance that the costs would be covered. Being capitalists, they used the existing American system for setting up their businesses and arranged to make a profit. As more people founded insurance companies, the competition began to heat up, which only fueled the enthusiasm of these early entrepreneurs. Competition honed the industry into the incredible, unbeatable American Dream Machine it is today. Don't some of you secretly wish you could have been in on the ground floor of this multi-billion dollar industry?
Most of you readers were not in on the ground floor, nor do you own a piece of an insurance company. Primarily you have not been looking at the profitability of a particular insurance company, nor the investment potential of the market/insurance industry as a whole. Rather your main interest in the health insurance business is whether you have a fair and cost-effective plan to offer your employees and whether you, yourselves have the type of insurance that will take care of your health needs. However, in making decisions about buying and using health insurance plans, it is important that you understand that health insurance companies are businesses, just like yours. Their goal is to make money by providing a service/product that can be produced as competently and efficiently as possible. The problem is, can insurance business owners make medical decisions that affect your health, without the advice of professionally trained physicians, psychologists, chiropractors, dentists and so on?
The insurance companies of the nineties, and their cost-management sub-contractors, managed care companies, are indeed making medical decisions for each and every member of their plans. And they are doing so without sound medical and/or psychological advice. They are making these decisions based upon actuarial tables, not upon the unique individual needs of each patient. For example if the cost of a mammogram is cheaper than an ultra-sound to detect breast cancer (and it is), your cost-management company may deny the claim for an ultra-sound. If the actuarial tables suggest that most cancer is detected satisfactorily by mammogram and self-exams alone, then to contain costs, they will deny the ultra-sound. However, if you have a history of "breast lumps," and so far all of them have been benign, but your doctor is concerned that with advancing age there could be an increasing likelihood of cancerous tumors, or that the benign lumps are hiding the tumor, and in your case an ultra-sound is vital, there is still no recourse with the cost-management company. You may still have your claim denied because you do not fit into the range of what is most cost-effective according to the actuarial tables. There just is no room with insurance companies for the exception to the rule.
In psychology and psychotherapy, the picture is even gloomier. If you have a broken arm, the insurance company will authorize treatment. But if you are suffering from anxiety or depression, regardless of the cause or the intensity of the problem, your claim will be challenged by the cost-management company. One reason is that it is not the event per se that is paid for, but your reaction to it. For example, if you are in an automobile accident and your child/passenger loses his or her life, but you survive, you would be expected to be in shock, to be grieving intensely, to be unable to carry on your daily routine for weeks, months or even a year or two. Yet this event may not be allowable under your mental health coverage because you are reacting normally to the stress. In other words, you can only be covered under your mental health coverage if your reaction to the stresses of life are abnormal. But in my experience, even if you are suicidal (which insurance companies do consider abnormal) you will need to get prior authorization from your cost-management company before you can schedule an appointment with a psychologist. Because the psychologist is a specialist, cost-management companies do not make as much money on their services, so they have established a gate to keep the number of referrals to specialists at a minimum. If you are suicidal you must first call your cost-management company for authorization or make an appointment with your primary care physician, who in turn will make a recommendation to the cost-management company to refer you to a psychologist!
What this all amounts to is that psychological and emotional health do not mix very well with health insurance and cost-management companies. It is important to understand the distinctions between the two realms. Health insurance companies and their colleagues, cost-management companies (euphemistically called managed care companies), are in the business of making a profit by containing the costs of health care. While this goal may be needed or even admirable, it has nothing to do with providing the specific medical or psychological care that you or your employee needs today. The kind of mental health treatment that you or your employee needs today should be a decision between the patient and the doctor based upon the specialized needs of one unique human being. While what the patient can afford, either privately or through their insurance plan, should be considered by the doctor and patient, the best medical/psychological treatment that is necessary for this one human being should always be considered first, not secondarily to what the cost-management company will authorize.
Obviously you cannot ignore the costs of health care, even though psychological health care is relatively inexpensive. However, the biggest mistake that patients make is assuming that their cost-management company is making the wisest health care decision for them, when in fact the cost-management company is diagnosing by the actuarial tables. I know of suicidal patients who went untreated because their cost-containment company could not act as quickly as a phone call to the therapist. I know of patients who want a cure for serious clinical depression within the unrealistic five sessions authorized by their cost-containment company.
I know of patients whose personal, confidential medical records are reviewed by the employer's human resources department before they are reviewed by the cost-containment company clerk, before they are reviewed by the cost-containment supervisor, before they are routed to the insurance company for a similar series of reviews, before the claim is authorized or denied.
Whether the insurance industry needs cost-management or not is not the question here. What is at stake is the quality of your psychological and medical health care. When making these very important decisions about your health care, consider that your insurance company is not the best source of advice on quality of care. They can only advise you on cost of care. For example, if you choose one of their preferred providers the costs may be lower but cost is no guarantee of quality. For quality of care decisions you have more work to do. Searching for a psychologist, for example, requires assessing just what your needs are, what approach would work best for you, what type of professional you can relate to, what credentials and qualifications make this provider better than another and so on. Furthermore, you may wish to work with a psychologist about problems that are perfectly normal, but that you want help with nevertheless, such as a divorce, child behavior problems, career planning, family stresses at work, work stresses at home and so on. Remember, your cost-management company is not under contract to help you with these problems, only those issues that you are handling abnormally.
When it comes to insurance, Americans are soft. We assume that we are entitled to "life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness and health insurance to cover every conceivable medical expense." Health insurance is an extra. It has its limits. It is time for Americans to build some unused muscle and start making decisions for themselves again. Stop looking for someone to take care of your every health or emotional need. Stop turning these decisions over to cost-management companies. Instead utilize your good old common sense and decide for yourself, with the help of professional advisors such as your trusted doctors, just what is the best psychological or medical treatment for you, your loved ones and your employees.
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Compensation planning in a family business
Monday, April 06, 1998
By Kathy J. Marshack, Ph.D., P.S.
For years Arnie looked forward to having his son and daughter join him in his publishing business. Arnie and his wife, Ilsa, had rebuilt the business after Arnie's father lost everything due to some poor planning and miscalculating the marketplace. Even though the business went under when Arnie was in college, he could see the potential. He had a degree in marketing and knew the publishing business from the inside out. With Ilsa's accounting background, they systematically restored the business to a healthy functioning. About the time that Arnie's and Ilsa's two children were off to college the business was in expansion mode and Arnie was counting on his son and daughter to help take the company into the twenty-first century. The children were eager to help out too. They were getting relevant degrees in college, had acquired internships at publishing houses back East, and upon graduation were ready to come home and learn the family business under Mom's and Dad's tutelage.
Arnie and Ilsa had laid the groundwork well for inviting their children into the family business. The kids had seen how hard their parents worked, but they weren't ignored. The family always came first. Also Arnie and Ilsa involved the children in the business from the start. Even as toddlers, they played in the office. As older children, they helped out with odd projects and straightening up. They were familiar with all of the employees, who felt like one big extended family to them. In high school, the children tried their hands out with some of the professional work. Frequently the family business was a subject for a high school project. It was common knowledge and often discussed that both son and daughter were welcome to work in the family business after they completed college.
All seemed to be going as planned until the day came to discuss the employment agreement with each child. Never before had the family had to consider real business when dealing with each other. As teenagers, the kids had been paid minimum wage or a bit better. There were no benefits or perks because their parents took care of those things. Now the children were adults, responsible for their own lives, which meant that negotiating compensation had to be strictly business. The children couldn't be expected to work for minimum wage anymore and they expected to be compensated for contributions they made to the company. Arnie and Ilsa had some work cut out for them.
The question was, How to compensate their children, as if they were regular employees, but with the added benefit of having trusted family members to help run the business? Compensating relatives is a sticky business. Not all people are really created equal. It is sometimes very difficult to assess and compare the talents of family members who are also employees. Nor do all family members contribute equally to the business. As a result of the stress that this causes, many family business owners ignore the problem and let compensation become a breeding ground for dissension in the family. For example, many wives in family businesses do not earn a salary at all. The reason given by the CEO for this is that it saves on taxes. The justification is that she is an owner of the business, so she is growing an investment. However, the research also shows that family business wives are invisible when it comes to decision making and that they feel isolated and unappreciated. Lack of a salary or a nominal salary may account for this.
A recent survey by Mass Mutual Insurance Company reports a wide discrepancy between the salaries of sons and the salaries of daughters in family businesses across America. On average the typical son in a family business earns $115,000, while his sister earns only $19,000. These salaries also reflect the tendency of family firms to view the contributions of women as of less value and the strength of primogeniture in succession planning. In other words sons are groomed for leadership while daughters are groomed for supportive roles and paid less than their brothers.
In other situations, CEOs of family firms attempt to avoid the problem of compensation for family member/employees by paying everyone the same, even themselves. Or they hire a family member simply because they are family, regardless of their abilities. The problem with this method is that the talented and creative employees are not rewarded for their work and may become resentful of the family members they must "carry." And the employees who are overpaid are not getting accurate feedback for their work performance, which makes it hard to improve. Likewise the CEO is not really viewed as sacrificing when he or she takes a low salary. Rather he or she is viewed as a weak leader.
Although it is not easy to put aside the anxiety caused by developing a fair compensation plan for your family members/employees, it is absolutely necessary if business is to thrive. Family relationships built upon honesty are far superior to the games required by compensation plans designed to avoid friction. So if you follow the advice of experts you will design your compensation plan according to these five steps:
- Write up accurate job descriptions for each employee. Include responsibilities, level of authority, technical skills, level of experience and education required for each job.
- Identify what your compensation philosophy is. Do you want to pay about average, or higher? Do you want to attract talent from other companies? Do you want to offset the typical male/female wage differential? Are you a training ground for young, inexperienced people?
- Gather information on the salaries of similar positions in your industry. Size up companies that are similar to yours in number of employees, revenue, product, geographic location, etc. What salaries and other benefits do these similar organizations pay their employees?
- Develop a succession plan. How will a successor to the leadership be identified among family member/employees? How will they be prepared for leadership? How will this choice affect the morale of the family/business? How will this successor be compensated?
- Design an affordable plan. Obviously you want to do the best you can with the dollars you have. What can you afford to compensate each family member/employee relative to their contribution?
After you have a compensation plan that reflects the family's values as well as sound business practices, you are in position to negotiate an employment contract with a family member. It is important that everything is spelled out up front so that when you have an annual review, there is a way to compare employee performance with outlined expectations in the job description. Salary increases can then be based upon the employee's true accomplishments.
It will be hard for Ilsa and Arnie to totally separate their love for their children from this matter-of-fact compensation plan. There is room in any business for discretion in awarding raises and other forms of compensation. However, when the money decisions are made strictly from emotion or avoidance of emotion, there is bound to be trouble. As the CEO of a family business, make the best decision you can for the business. As a parent or a spouse, encourage your family member/employee to achieve their greatest potential within or outside the business. In this way both business and family wins.
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Does Cutting Costs Create Mental Illness?
Monday, June 02, 1997
By Kathy J. Marshack, Ph.D., P.S.
Recently I heard a well known Dale Carnegie graduate give a talk on how to attract new business. He used as an example, what attracted him to the family physician who had attended to him, his wife and children for years. The good doctor had given a similar talk at a public event and impressed the man with his expertise, solid reputation, and sincerity. For something as personal and life important as the health care of his family, the man wanted such an individual as this dedicated doctor. And for years his initial decision to choose this physician proved to be a good one. Yet in spite of the importance of choosing the "right" health care professional, this Carnegie graduate dropped the doctor like a "hot potato" when managed care rolled into town. Because his company chose a managed care plan that would not allow the doctor to join the panel, the dedicated patient who had so carefully chosen and developed a meaningful relationship with his health care provider, decided to follow the impersonal dictates of the managed care plan. Closer to my own area of practice, psychology, is another story that is even more disconcerting. A young teenage girl had been treated for depression by a psychologist. In actuality she was not seriously depressed but rather angry at her boyfriend for being somewhat shallow. The girl's parents called the managed care company and were referred to the psychologist. After a few short sessions with the psychologist, the girl felt she had more control of the situation and would not allow the boyfriend's manipulation to continue. Two weeks after terminating psychotherapy, the girl and her father had a fight that erupted into yelling and screaming between the two of them. The father in frustration called his managed care plan (an 800 number in southern California) and told them his daughter was suicidal. Without any psychiatric evaluation and without contacting the daughter's psychotherapist, the clerk at the other end of the 800 number advised the father to take the girl to a psychiatric hospital. Although the girl was not suicidal and didn't need hospitalization, she did learn to fear her father and to behave lest she be hospitalized again. Not a healthy outcome. By now you probably have the tone of this article. While managed care may save your company dollars, and while there is a need for health care reform, you might think twice about just what you are subjecting yourself, your employees and your family to. The mistakes made by the Carnegie graduate and the father of the teenager are not uncommon. There is a mystique about managed care. People have come to believe that the 800 number is like a parent, able to solve all of their woes. They believe that they will get the same personal service they received for years by a doctor who knows them. They are puzzled when the service they do receive is not sufficient to resolve the problem. Often they assume that there is nothing more that can be done, since their managed care company has not authorized additional services. It's as if the managed care company has assumed the paternalistic mystique that the family doctor once held. But now the mystique has no concern about the individual, only cutting medical costs.
All right, I realize that I am biased on this subject, given that I am one of those doctors that is being pressed by the managed care industry. It may be hard for some of you to accept my complaints about managed care, even though others of you have your concerns too. So let me relate a few statistics to bring you up to date on the state of the art when it comes to psychotherapy. The following points come from recent published research. Ninety percent of emergency room visits are psychosomatic in origin. In a review of 58 studies, 85% of the studies found substantial reductions in the medical and surgical costs of patients who regularly used psychotherapy. In a review of 475 studies, the authors found that the average psychotherapy patient at the end of treatment was better off than 80% of those patients who need psychotherapy but remain untreated. Therapist competence relates more to client improvement than does the particular treatment modality. By 8 sessions of psychotherapy 50% of the patients are measurably improved. By 26 sessions or about six months of psychotherapy, 75% of patients are improved. Cognitive-Behavioral psychotherapy alone is as effective and efficient in treating depression as are drugs, or drugs and cognitive-behavioral therapy combined. Drugs have side effects. These are pretty impressive statistics. If as an employer you could improve the health of an employee, certainly you would see an improvement in your bottom line. Healthy employees produce. Most managed care companies, however, are not into improving employee health, but in cutting insurance and medical costs. If they were really interested in your bottom line, why are they not increasing mental health benefits? If psychotherapy works as well as or better than drugs; if psychotherapy reduces emergency room visits and medical and surgical costs; if psychotherapy works better than no psychotherapy; if competent experienced psychologists are part of the success, why then are benefits for psychotherapy being slashed and watered down so dramatically? You may question my findings, noting that your managed care plan includes mental health benefits. However, if you review your benefits in particular, you will find some serious flaws. Such flaws include the fact that your employee is entitled to five or ten employee assistance visits with a counselor. If the problem cannot be resolved in five or ten sessions, they get no more. Also the counselor they must see cannot be of their own choosing. Many of the psychotherapists contracted to managed care companies are inexperienced master's level people. Another flaw is that all psychotherapy plans must be reviewed with the clerk at the managed care company. The treatment plan is not a confidential arrangement between the client and the psychologist. It is part of a computer record available not only to the insurance company, but to the managed care company who reviews and authorizes insurance claims.
There are some estimates that up to 12 people see your psychotherapy treatment plan. For things as personal as serious depression, or marital problems, this is hardly sensitive or confidential. Furthermore, do you really want an anonymous clerk to be making decisions about your personal mental health? A third flaw is that the managed care company makes decisions about what kind of treatment you should receive based upon actuarial tables. It is not based upon your unique situation, nor what you and the doctor feel would be best. There is no sensitivity to your needs, but what fits the budget. If psychologist competence is significant to treatment outcome, then why is a clerk making these decisions? I personally am willing to participate in only three managed care plans for the above reasons and more. I will work only with those plans that leave the treatment plan between myself and the client. I will work only with those plans that maintain client right to confidentiality. I will work only with those plans that pay me what I am worth as a seasoned professional. I will work only with those plans that authorize appropriate treatment and will not cut off therapy for short term gain, forgetting the long term health loss. If you are shopping for a new health plan and if you are considering a managed care plan, why would you be interested in my point of view? After all, as I said earlier, I am biased in favor of preserving my profession. But there are compelling reasons to take a good look at all sides of the situation. It's like my CPA says about taxes. If you find a way to save some taxes in one area of your business, you ultimately pay more tax somewhere else. It's the same with mental health. If you cut premiums and cut services to your employees when it comes to their mental health, you pay the price in increased medical and surgical costs, employee accidents, higher turnover rate and so on. In an ideal world, there would be enough to go around; enough dollars to pay for health care and the ability to choose any provider you wished. However, obviously employers have to strike a reasonable balance and health care has skyrocketed. But in the time that medical and surgical costs have skyrocketed, mental health costs have not grown. They are essentially at the same utilization rate and cost as they have been for decades. So psychotherapy is not the place to cut. It just doesn't make financial sense, when the price you pay is increased health problems. So when you are shopping around for a health plan, I hope you consider just what you are buying when it comes to mental health benefits. ? Do you have ample psychotherapy benefits; at least 26 to 52 visits per year per employee? Do you have the right to choose the most experienced and competent psychologist? Is there true confidentiality guaranteed? Is the treatment plan dictated by actuarial tables or by the unique needs of the situation and the employee? Is the payment to the therapist worth the time of a competent professional, or are you forced to seek out an untrained, inexperienced person who will charge rock bottom prices?
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Making the most out of psychological consultation
Monday, August 19, 1996
By Kathy J. Marshack, Ph.D., P.S.
The other day, a client came into my office and sat down in the rocking chair, she crossed her arms and asked, "Well, what do you want me to talk about today?"
Her response reminds me that many clients of professional consultation, particularly psychological consultation, do not know how to use the consultant's time. Paula's questions reveals her belief that the consultant is in complete charge of the relationship, can read her mind, and has ready advice for every contingency.
It is understandable that people put this much power into the hands of their consultants. If you have a problem that is overwhelming, it somehow feels safer to let someone else be in charge of the solution.
The problem is that you the client/business owner have to make the decisions about your life and work. As Harry Truman said, "The buck stops here." No one other than yourself can ultimately decide your proper course of action.
Psychologists know from our research that people will take credit for their successes and blame someone else for their failures. What most people don't realize is that if you are brave enough to take full responsibility for all of your decisions, whether or not they were guided by a consultant, you have much more of a chance of success.
Because you are noticing all of you little and big failures along the way, you stand a better chance of correcting the problems before a crisis erupts.
Too often I am confronted with clients who have waited until the top has blown off the project. They are desperate. They want immediate solutions. They often get disgruntled with the consultative process because we are taking time to repair damage before we can move to more proactive work. If as the client or business owner you are ready to face your weaknesses as well as your strengths, if you are ready to admit your ignorance, the consultant can step in sooner to help you.
If you view each failure as only feedback, you will be operated as the cybernetic system you were designed to be. Get your Ego out of the way. Admit your ignorance. Use skills creatively. Use your employees creatively. Be open to solutions that at first sound ridiculous. They may sound ridiculous because you haven't had time to expand your consciousness to include new ideas.
The consultant's job, if they are doing their job, is more process oriented than task oriented. While you may want the advice or labor of our consultant regarding tasks that you are not skilled to handle, the consultant can help you best by getting you to think and use your own talents toward the solution.
Your lawyer cannot writ up a will without knowing your wishes specifically. Your CPS cannot advise on investment of even tax planning without understanding your financial objectives. Your Organization Development Psychologist cannot guide you in those tricky interpersonal problems without knowing how you and your personnel fee.
Knowing that you are really the decision-maker makes it a lot easier to take charge of the consultative process and ask the questions that need asking. Don't be afraid to ask a stupid question.
Slow your consultant down and ask for clear explanations and rationale for their recommendations. The psychologist is an expert in her field and may not realize that you don't understand her jargon or thought process. You are paying the psychologist for her education, knowledge and expertise, and to help you make the best decision for yourself, your family and your company.
Finally, if you are going to benefit by the use of a consultant, be prepared to do some hard work. Change is not an easy process. Just as when you first learned to drive a car, you have to be aware of every little move if you are to change your behavior and business organization or strategies. Now, driving a car is so automatic that your rarely remember the time between putting the key into the ignition and arriving at your destination. But at one time it took every ounce of concentration you had to master the ignition, the clutch, the rearview mirror, the brakes, the accelerator, the odometer, and so on.
The psychologist/consultant assists and guides in the process of change, but it is up to you to do the work. It is also up to you to refine the advice of your consultant to fit your unique situation. Things may sound good on paper, but in practice may need a little modification.
Psychologists know from our research that if too much time lapses between the consultation and taking action, the person will not do the required work in order to change. Take the time to put into practice what your consultant and you have decided. Notice where it works and where it doesn't. Then keep modifying until you have a system that fits you perfectly.
Process consultation is a valuable contribution to your business. The psychologist can open your thinking in directions you never thought of before.
For example, two brothers were arguing bitterly about how to manage their landscaping business. In terms of skills they were ideally suited to be partners. One was the landscape architect; the other had the sales skills and business management savvy.
They had also grown up with the business and inherited it when their father died. Nevertheless there were constant arguments about how to handle clients, employees, investments, and so on. The trust between the two brothers/business partners was shattered.
The brothers finally turned to a psychologist when their business consultant, attorney, and CPA failed to find a resolution. The psychologist helped the brothers recognize that while they loved each other as brothers, their lack of common interests and values make it difficult to be business partners. In other words if they had not been brothers, they may never have chosen each other as friends of business partners.
The psychologist also helped them to get over feeling guilty for breaking up the family and the family business that Dad had founded. Each was able to move on as an independent landscape contractor with his own business modeled after his own distinct personality. Now they can socialize as brothers, attend family functions and even refer each other business.
Psychological consultation is probably the most intricate form of consultation you will engage in. The focus is more on how you communicate and make decisions than on what you say or do. Many decisions and relationships can be much improved by changing the how or the process. If the two brothers had maintained their old method of relating they would have destroyed their relationship, the business or both. As a result of being willing to consider other methods of defining a family and a family/business, the brothers were able to transform themselves to amore productive and happier level of functioning.
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