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The halfway mark in my morning run was announced by the cawing of seagulls and the soft, wet crunch of waves. The monotone slaps of my running shoes on the paved road gave way to a rubbery-scraping sound, as the ratio of beach sand to black asphalt increased.
I ran like I was in a hurry. On good days, this made my pace fast enough to remind me how short my hair was; the on-rushing air ruffled my hair, instead of pressing red waves of long, pre-novitiate hair against my neck. I felt a frown begin to spread bony fingers above my eyes; I tried and failed to ignore the growing tension. Today was clearly not starting as a good day, but being only 5:33 am, I held out hope for a turnaround.
An hour before, as I ran down the stairs of the convent and across the courtyard, I felt a twinge of 'hurry up, you have to get there.' Running faster never made that feeling go away. The key to turning off the voice was the simple fact that the first third of my morning jogs were still physically demanding and left me little to spare, other than getting my feet to chase each other away from the convent.
The pungent salt and iodine smell of dried seaweed and low-tide demanded my attention. Running is a balancing act: too little commitment and it turns into a more grueling way to worry about the day ahead; too much, and the mind wants it to stop, which usually causes problems when everyday routine makes its demands, just past the finish line. This particular morning I managed to stay between the extremes, my run was the cardiovascular equivalent of morning prayers in the chapel. As I ran, I could hear the individual small round-edged rocks and over-sized pebbles roll beneath the low waves that washed the beach; a serrated sound of giant gravel-filled lungs of some slowly waking creature buried at the edge of the ocean.
Subtle sounds of life colored the stillness of the 5:00 morning along the Chesapeake Bay.
I pulled the stopwatch from the right pocket of my running shorts. The elapsed-time made me smile confidently; I actually looked forward to pushing myself on the return half, knowing that my time slid further down towards my goal of a seven-minute-mile. I crossed the small parking area at the end of the paved road and jumped up on the telephone pole that served to divide the lot from the dunes. Keeping my arms to my sides, I executed a spinning heel hook, came down on the same foot and, as long as I was still on the rounded edge of the pole, went into a passable 'Part the Mare's Tail', followed by one of my favorite t'ai chi moves, 'Bend Bow and Shoot Tiger'. I turned towards the dune, let myself fall forward until my knee brushed the sand and sprinted towards the water's edge. I wanted to spend part of my run in the loose, dry sand of the beach. I enjoyed the strain on the variety of muscles I got when running over the uncertain, constantly shifting surface. It was worth the extra minutes added to my time.
I missed on my first attempt to put my stopwatch back in my pocket, sliding over the smooth fabric, almost dropping it in the sand. I looked down and laughed.
My running shorts were a gift from a friend in Chicago. The over-sized shipping envelope showed up at the convent just a week before. The return address was, 'Chicago Police Dept. Detective Division, Cicero Ave. Chicago IL.' No name, just the return address. There was nothing on the packing slip, other than 'Sister Margaret Ryan'. As soon as I got to my room, I pulled the perforated strip and let the contents fall out onto my bed. My roommate, Sister Clare, whispered a devout, "No. Way." as I held up the shorts; they were black and pink and very satiny. Embroidered in block letters across the front of the waistband was the word 'Everlast.' A card fell from the now empty envelope. I opened it and read to Sister Clare, "For the next time you're in the ring with the devil. This may not be from Victoria's Secret, but silk is silk." It was signed, 'Love, your friend Maribeth'.
To the scandalized giggles of Sister Clare, I threw my tunic on my bed and stepped into the boxing trunks. They fit. Even though I'm on the tall side, at five foot nine, the legs came down well to my knees. I said a silent prayer of thanks. I had new running clothes.
The very next morning, I was halfway across the courtyard, headed for the gate when something caught my eye. I stopped and looked back at the main building. Being the estate of a wealthy banker who donated it to the Church, in a desperate hope, I suspect, of 'shrinking the camel' the grounds, which ran down to the shoreline of Chesapeake Bay, included several buildings that were converted for use as our convent and parochial school. The first floor of the main house housed the school's administrative offices, the second floor served as the living quarters. Directly above the main entrance was a bay window, on the hallway that connected the two wings of the three-story building. I saw two shapes, at first indistinct, as the corridor was still dark, the sun just beginning to break free of the morning clouds. Almost immediately, I recognized Sister Catherine and, to her right, Sister Bernadine, the Mother Superior of St. Dominique's.
Sister Catherine's wire-rimmed glasses threw sparks of reflected morning light. Her glasses stood out against mild, pale skin surrounded by the brighter white of the wimple that framed her face. From down in the courtyard, she appeared as a ghostly, animated habit, black robes and white face (and chest). It was the bright light from her glasses that demanded attention. She gave life to the dress, to the habit she wore and it, in turn, gave her a presence not easily ignored.
Sister Bernadine Ellison was another story altogether. The Mother Superior was a very large woman. And, just as with Sister Catherine, her dark habit blended with the shadows of the corridor. Very much the opposite of the woman next to her, it was Sister Bernadine's face that stood out. The snow-white wimple served to contrast her dark brown face, yet it was her eyes that commanded attention. There was a power in her that was little diminished even at the distance between us. Rather than animating the habit of the Order, Sister Bernadine wore them like robes, vestments if you will, as worn by every powerful woman down through under-recorded history.
I saw Sister Catherine purse her lips and make the sign of the cross. I felt the Mother Superior's keen intelligence and natural power in a moment of eye contact that was nearly palpable. It was a sense of connection that should not have been possible from where I stood. I saw Sister Bernadine throw her head back in laughter, (I imagined I could hear it from outside, down in the courtyard), as she took Sister Catherine gently by the arm and lead her away from the window.
Nothing was ever said about my choice in running clothes. There was a risk that went with my enjoying Maribeth's gift. There was a part of me, the part I had hoped to leave behind when I walked away from college and stood at the convent door with a single suitcase and a weakly flickering hope. It whispered to me in a voice at once too sincere, while sounding outraged, the voice asked, 'How dare they try to stifle my individuality'. I promised myself to never been seen wearing the boxing trunks, at least by anyone at St. Dominiques.
I felt a vibration on my left thigh and jerked my head around in a scalp-tingling flash of alarm. The toes of my shoes dug into the nearly dry sand at the edge of the water, but there was no one around, other than a man staring at a fishing pole stuck in the sand and a yellow dog sitting next to him, both about 50 yards up the beach. I waved to Morris Richmond, a retiree who made a point of coming to pretend to fish every morning except Sundays. In the past three months that I'd been running, after returning from Chicago, Morris and I would have a conversation of a peculiar sort. I'd run past him and say whatever might occur to me to say. I did not stop running and he would not attempt to reply. After a hundred yards or so of running in the sand, I'd turn and head back. As I passed him, he would speak and I would listen. On most mornings the two statements stand apart, completely un-related. But there were a couple of days when what he said would return to me, later in the day and, somehow, make sense. I enjoyed this part of my morning run. I believe the dog, who was with Morris most, but not all mornings, was his, but I could not say for sure. I'd nod at him, (or her), as I ran and he, (or she), seemed to acknowledge me.
The vibration skittered against my leg; it was my phone. The phone that I did not own. The phone that the Mother Superior of St. Dominique's did not give me, when she didn't say, "I believe that God puts people in our lives for a reason. Sometimes the people who seem the most difficult, who seem to thwart us in our efforts, are serving His purpose. Many, if not most, people believe that a safe and comfortable life is what God intends for us all. They are devout and work hard in the hope of leading peaceful and contented lives. There are people in the world, however, who live only to take as much as they can, no matter what the cost to the people around them. God's ways are not always understandable. There are other people He puts on earth who find that their lives are difficult and dangerous. I believe these people are put on earth to maintain the balance between Good and Evil. Take this phone and try not to let anyone see you use it. You still have two years remaining to your novitiate, try to stay in the middle of the path. I know you can become a good nun and an asset to our Order, Sister Ryan."
"And the Award for Top Producing Agent of the Year in McCallister County…"
Steve Wein, leaned back in his chair, turned towards the man at his right and said, "Yeah, emphasis on producer." The moderately forceful nudge of his elbow telegraphed the innuendo at adolescent volume; combined with staring everyone at the table directly in the eyes as he spoke, the balding man screamed with a drunk's sloppy and aggressive charm.
That Arlen Mayhew sat next to the increasingly boisterous man was not by design, rather an unfortunate miscalculation. Arlen had long accepted the necessity of social interactions as part of his profession of real estate broker and developed a strategy of being late enough to a gathering so as not to have to endure the ordeal of networking, while still arriving early enough to have a choice of seats. He now sat trapped in his seat by the force of politeness, as the awards ceremony held him hostage to his table. He folded his napkin for the eighth time and looked pointedly at the stage, hoping that his apparent concentration on the emcee would serve as a non-verbal Do Not Disturb sign.
"Nice going, Arlen," he thought, pressing his lips into what passed for a smile. Arlen Mayhew often addressed himself by name, even (sometimes, especially), when it was a conversation taking place inside his head. To his small group of friends he would explain, with a sincerity that would be disturbing if coming from a total stranger, "…but if I don't talk to myself, how can I be sure I'm not just imagining it?"
Arlen leaned back in his chair and turned away from the man on his left in the vain hope of being ignored. Deciding to take a risk, Arlen got up, stood behind his chair and surveyed the crowded ballroom. He smiled as Steve Wein, who he'd worked with only once, began to tell the others agents at the table stories of his own past sales awards.
'Out of sight, out of mind,' Arlen smiled and looked around the hotel ballroom; the high-ceilinged room presented an un-obstructed view of the round banquet tables. Each populated with modern-day Crusoes, washed up on white-linen shores, wearing tailored suits and designer gown knock-offs that nearly succeeded in transforming desperation into a public display of enthusiasm. The murmur of the crowd diminished as the final award of the night was presented.
"…goes to Drusilla Renaude. Come on up, Dru."
A woman stood up from a table in the row closest to the stage. As the applause grew, she turned with a deliberateness that, somehow, made her more visible. She looked around at the room and smiled. Dru Renaude had very dark brown hair that framed eyes that managed to appear darker yet. Her black, off-the-shoulder dress, was exquisitely tailored; no one would mistake her for being anyone other than a very successful woman. Between her 'take-no-prisoners' cleavage and beautiful, predator-intense eyes, she wore a ruby pendant. It lay near her heart, waiting for whoever stood before her and demanded that they make a choice that they probably were not aware they were making.
Drusilla Renaude walked up to the podium with the confidence and air of entitlement more commonly observed in those who by blood and family were heir to throne or rank. Less so in as modern a profession as real estate brokerage. She crossed the stage to the sound of applause and gathered the attention, as a shark acquires it's retinue of pilot fish. She accepted the crystal trophy, (all glass and edges, as much projectile as memento of accomplishment), turned and faced the crowd.
Arlen, not bothering to applaud, watched the salesmen and women, dressed in their Awards Night best, as they applauded the recipient of the top honor of Real Estate Agent of the Year. He stared at Dru Renaude. Assured of anonymity by virtue of being just one face in a fairly large gathering of faces, Arlen smiled and, keeping his hand close to his side, gave a 'thumbs up'. He was startled as Dru stopped scanning the crowd, looked him in the eye, smiled and gave her own thumbs up. Not surprisingly he saw other people in the crowd return the gesture. Steve Wein burst out with a "Yeah!!"
Arlen Mayhew found himself staring at Dru Renaude and feeling confident. Were someone to ask him the reason for his sudden confidence, he would have been unable to answer.
Not willing to risk breaking the connection, Arlen smiled back and thought, 'Mind and body. Do not turn your back on either.'
He decided that he would find a way to talk to the woman before the end of the evening's festivities. It was his responsibility, as a fellow professional, and someone working in the same Delmar real estate market, to convey his congratulations directly. To do otherwise would be rude.
With the final award presented, the conversation at Arlen's table fractured into pairs, Steve decided that he needed to get to the bar before they closed it for the evening. Arlen decided that rather than risk being pulled into a conversation, he would leave early. He surprised himself by taking a path towards the exit that brought him to the front table, where, by pre-arrangement, all those who were to receive an award were seated. Dru Renaude, surrounded by well-wishers and friends (not necessarily the same personal characteristics), was on the near side of the group as Arlen passed by. He stopped and said, 'Congratulations, Ms. Renaude'. He was surprised that she turned quickly enough to be facing him as he passed. At least two of the people she had been speaking to were left, mid-sentence, completing their conversation to her back.
"Why thank you, Mr. Mayhew." She smiled and somehow managed to make him believe that he was there to rescue her from the boring and tedious people who surrounded her. She did it all with a barely discernible arch to one eyebrow and the squeeze of his hand.
Roanne Avila stared at the man who filled the space when she opened her front door. Through the screen door, the man had an odd, grainy appearance, like one of the Civil War photos on Public Television during Donation week. The man was large, did not move, but somehow seemed to be pressing forwards, almost into the interior of the house. He filled the opening of the door so completely, Roanne had the feeling that he was blocking escape from the house. She wondered why she would feel the need to escape the house, with her three-year-old down for her pre-lunch nap. Nevertheless, she looked wistfully out at the empty street in front of the house.
"Mrs. Avila?" His smile made her think how, in the nature shows, the wolves always seemed to be grinning, except when they're running down their prey.
Listening back into the house and not hearing her three-year-old, Roanne answered, "Yes, what can I do for you?" The screen door remained closed; it's purely symbolic value as a barrier, was felt in the cool morning air that blew in from the covered porch. She kept her left hand on the open door, with its three panes of glass cut into the wood in a pattern that ran down from left to right, down to eye level. She frowned, trying to remember if she'd seen this man through one (or all three) of these otherwise. She realized that she did not see anyone as she approached the door.
"How are you today?"
Roanne felt her scalp creep back from her forehead and the muscles of her shoulders tighten. Again, she turned her head to listen for any sound to indicate her child, Alexis, was awake. Her left arm tensed in anticipation of the need to force the door closed.
The man continued to smile, with a confidence that she associated with doctors and lawyers, just before they delivered bad news or a terminal diagnosis. She could imagine this man practicing his smile, the better to convince the other person of his good intention.
She tried to look past the man who stood on her porch wearing a suit that cost more than the Altima in the driveway. At the moment, Roanne desperately wanted to see a neighbor walk by, just so she could wave, call out a hello. She didn't feel in danger, but if she could involve someone who didn't have a large strange man standing in their doorway, then her feeling of threat might ease. It was the edge of the summer rental season in the Newtown section of Schifferville, so the only person she saw was a teenage boy mowing the front lawn of a house two doors down.
She reached to lock the screen door.
The man smiled and said, "I don't need to come into your house today. I will, however, leave these papers out here on the porch. I suggest you read them and make the right decision. For your two children, if no one else."
"You have a nice day."
Roanne stood in the doorway, her left hand trying to push the wood door closed, yet not having any success.
The man stopped at the edge of the porch, put on a pair of very dark sunglasses and, without turning, said,
"When the time comes, you will invite me in. Be assured of that, little Lomasi, you will welcome me."


text:
Artist, writer and broadcaster: experienced interviewer and presenter for both radio and TV, published and self-published author and writer, astute editor and emerging artist. I write non-fiction books, humour, articles, essays and opinion pieces and enjoy promoting the great work of interesting and inspiring people through my weekly radio show on Radio Newark, and in general through social media. My work as an artist has also come to the fore and I am currently working on my second exhibition of Cosmos: An Interpretation of a Loving Universe. Specialties: Publishing magazines and books. Writing non-fiction books, articles, blogs and essays; editing and word-weaving; public speaking, guest-interviewing and MCing events; radio and TV presenting,
Artist working in acrylics and mixed media on canvas, furniture, clay jewellery and anything else that I find interesting. Currently working on my second exhibition on the theme of the cosmos. Open to commissions and exhibiting opportunities.
writer, author, publisher, wordsmith and broadcaster on radio and TV
managed production team, print budget, client relationships and publishing projects

subset: commoncrawl


text: Let the backseat drivers have a taste of their own medicine. When using the app in the car it will monitor the driving pattern, and the driver will get to hear frequently used backseat driver comments adjusted to how they are driving. Be warned, just like real life comments from backseat drivers, the ones in the app may cause some annoyance. The app is designed to let anyone experience what it's like to drive with a backseat driver in the car. Let's silence the backstreet drivers and bring back the thrill of driving.


text:
Use current location
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text:
Damian Lewis joins comedy biopic of Shakespeare
The Homeland actor will guest star in Bill, a film from the cast of Horrible Histories and Yonderland exploring the early years of the famous playwright
Family sketch show Horrible Histories is hitting the big screen with Bill, a comedy biopic of William Shakespeare's early life, and Homeland star Damian Lewis will guest star, reports ScreenDaily.
Although details on Lewis's part are still unclear, the film already boasts a stellar Horrible Histories/Yonderland collaboration with Laurence Rickard, Simon Farnaby, Mathew Baynton, Martha Howe-Douglas, Ben Willbond and Jim Howick among the cast, each with various guises.
The film itself follows the so-called 'lost years' of Shakespeare's life. He's a seemingly hopeless lute player with no idea where to go next. He wants to follow his dream, he just doesn't quite know what that dream is.
"There's this period where no-one is entirely sure what Shakespeare did," co-writer Laurence Rickard tells Empire. "And it gives you great license to play around. He's done everything from contemporary dance to playing lute in a band. He's never found his calling…"
The film is slated for February 2015, but we bargain we'll be singing the film's songs until 20,015…


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Editor-in-Chief: Piet Lens
(print version)
ISSN: 1572-9826 (electronic version)
Journal no. 11157
The areas of environmental science and environmental (bio)technology are broad, multidisciplinary, fast growing and extremely active. The last twenty years have seen an overwhelming accumulation of data, and a panoply of important discoveries. It is almost impossible to keep up to date on current developments in these areas, let alone judge their long-term significance.
The purpose of Reviews in Environmental Science and Bio/Technology is twofold: to keep the reader up-to-date on achieved advances in the multidisciplinary and rapidly expanding fields of environmental science and biotechnology, and to offer perspectives on where these developments will lead.
The journal comprises of two distinct peer-reviewed sections: one offering Mini-Reviews expressing scientific opinions on topics and trends, and another presenting comprehensive critical evaluations (Reviews) of research efforts and technical realizations in particular areas. In addition to these two sections, the journal will publish research and policy-oriented commentaries, information on newly initiated research projects, key websites, recent developments in the field presented on international workshops, seminars and symposia, and initiatives from young researchers (science careers).
Reviews in Environmental Science and Bio/Technology accepts electronic multimedia files (animations, movies, audio etc.) and other supplementary files to be published online along with an article. This feature can add dimension to the author's article as certain information cannot be printed or is more convenient in electronic form.
For more information on submission and types of files please see ESM under For authors and editors.
Related subjects » Environmental Engineering and Physics - Microbiology - Pollution and Remediation
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The areas of environmental science and environmental (bio)technology are broad, multidisciplinary, fast growing and extremely active. During the last few decades, an overwhelming amount of data has become available and a panoply of discoveries has been made. It is almost impossible to keep up to date on current developments in these areas. Moreover, there is a definite need to extract the quintessence out of this information, to synthesise the research progress and to identify the achieved advances in science and technology. This is the rationale behind the journal Reviews in Environmental Science and Bio/Technology.
The journal has two distinct peer-reviewed sections: a section containing mini-reviews (up to 8 printed pages), expressing scientific opinions on topics and trends as well as a Reviews section (up to 30 printed pages) containing comprehensive critical evaluations of research efforts and technical realizations in particular areas. In addition to (mini-)review papers, the journal reports on newly initiated research projects in a distinct Project Update and Science Career section, focusing on initiatives from large research consortia and young researchers, respectively. The horizon paper, SWITCH monitor and Stockholm Water Perspectives sections provide research and policy-oriented commentaries from world renowned leaders in environmental science and (bio)technology research. The Web Alert section hints readers on key websites, whereas the Symposium Watch section updates them on the most recent developments in the field presented on international workshops, seminars and symposia. The journal also features special issues focusing on topics of international concern.
The fields covered in the journal comprise effects, treatment and management of pollution of water (fresh, surface and seawater, ground water, domestic and industrial wastewater), air, solid waste, soil and sediments. The pollutants discussed may include chemical compounds (organics, nutrients, sulphurous compounds, metals and metalloids), biological agents (pathogens, toxins, …) or abiotic conditions. Contributions can cover the following topics: analytical techniques, life cycle and exergy analysis, environmental modeling techniques, environmental hydroinformantics, biodiversity conservation, clean production processes, solid waste management, bioenergy and biorefinery concepts, molecular genomics and eco-genomics, environmental nanotechnology, bioremediation, fundamental or applied aspects of physical, chemical or biological degradation/removal methods, toxicity and eco-toxicity, kinetics, cell immobilization and (bio)reactor design, Information and communication for public participation, environmental education, social acceptance of environmental (bio)technology.
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- shared a list of LINKS I HEART - it was a long one but chock full of goodness. then i shared THIS ONE and linked it up with lish for LOVES ON A THURSDAY.
- bullied my poor mother into buying me the most adorable THRIFTED MUG and received some serious side-eye from brian for my coffee consumption in said mug.
- realized just how many of the gorgeous items available at WEST ELM can be diy'd and used as inspiration for thrifting if you are poor. like me.
- reposted one of my favorite posts from when BRIAN WENT AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND & ALL I DID WAS EAT CHINESE FOOD AND WATCH THE BBC. because it happened again.
- partied with bre at THE GFC COLLECTIVE, liz at THE TOTALLY AWESOME BLOG HOP and lauren at the I LOVE MY READERS LINKY PARTY.
- linked up thrifty finds posts with sandra & autumn for THRIFTY THURSDAY, sirthriftalot for THRIFTASAURUS, wendy for THE WEEKLY THRIFT, and christopher and julia for THE NIFTY THRIFTY.
- shared just a few of the TELEVISION SHOWS I AM LOVING LATELY.
- hosted a CLOTHING SWAP which turned out to be a really good way to see my best girls, eat lots of hummus and score some free moccasins.
- pimped out my INSTAGRAM with a post celebrating my 100TH PHOTO POSTED MILESTONE.
- started a new SMALL THINGS SERIES to share tips and tricks for being environmentally responsible and saving pennies. first up, IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM.
- came to terms with my weakness for LUCKY TRUNK ELEPHANTS with this thrifted fellow.
- started another little series - GIRL CRUSH - beginning with the adorable MICHELLE WILLIAMS.
for march i hope to share more personal posts. like, thoughts and feelings and such. would that interest you or will you just be all "awww, just show us more cute thrifty finds and pretty pinterest pictures..."?


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Prior to LuckyFABB, I had never even heard of Jane Iredale cosmetics. Now I'm wondering what else I'm missing out on...
I was so impressed with the brand's event at the Refinery Hotel, loved all of the products I was gifted, and was thrilled to find out that they are made in the USA! It's like the trifecta of fabulous-ness!
At the event, cocktails were flowing, butler-passed hors d'oeuvres were abundant, and makeup artists were working their magic.
Think you should rock these bold lips at all of your upcoming holiday parties? (So do I!)
Here is how to get the look:
1. Exfoliate your lips with Sugar&Butter to remove any dead or flaking skin and provide a smooth surface for application.
2. Blot to remove any remaining sugar crystals.
3. Using Crimson Lip Definer, outline and fill in your entire upper and lower lip.
4. Layer Margi Puremoist Lipstick over the pencil.
5. Finish by applying Crabapple PureGloss Lip Gloss to the center of your lower lip.
Voila! You too, can look like me and have fabulous holiday-ready lips thanks to Jane Iredale!
In other news, Sugar&Butter
(an exfoliator and lip plumper) is hands down my favorite new beauty product
I've tried this year and their Mystikol (eyeliner and highlighter combo) in onyx is a close second - so good for creating the perfect smokey eye.
Dying to give Jane Iredale a try? I have good news: you can order all of their products online! And for my #shoplocal gals: Jane Iredale Cosmetics are available at Pharoah's Hairum (both locations), Conscious Beauty in Victor, Salon Enza in Penfield, Q Med Spa in Rochester, and Genesee Valley Laser Center.
As you embark on your holiday shopping this year keep in mind you make a difference every time you shop local and buy American - so why not make a point to do both?
Happy Shopping!


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10/3/2017: Twitter and Facebook haven't stopped Russia-backed RT from advertising on their websites
In a meeting with House and Senate investigators last week, Twitter executives shared more than 1,800 promoted tweets from Russia Today, known as RT, and its three main accounts on the site. Some of the ads, valued in total at about $274,000, sought to promote RT's own stories, including those that sharply attacked Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton.
Twitter's decision to share that information with Congress followed a report by the U.S. government's top intelligence agencies, which slammed RT in January as the "Kremlin's principal international propaganda outlet." Despite those concerns, though, the news network's three Twitter accounts — @RT_com, @RT_America and @ActualidadRT — remain fully operational. And Twitter has not banned RT from advertising, according to a source familiar with the matter.
8/16/2016: Univision is buying Gawker Media for $135 million
Univision has won the auction for Gawker Media.
The TV network and digital publisher has agreed to pay $135 million for the bankrupt blog network, according to a person familiar with the deal.
8/9/2016: Intel is paying more than $400 million to buy deep-learning startup Nervana Systems
Intel is snapping up deep learning startup Nervana Systems in a huge bet that artificial intelligence represents the next big shift inside corporate data centers.
The chip giant isn't actually saying how much it is paying, but a source with knowledge of the deal said it is valued at around $408 million.
6/22/2016: Twitter wants to sell its NFL ad spots for more than $50 million
These ads packages — which combine the ad inventory Twitter has around NFL highlights that it also sold last year, plus the NFL game footage it bought this year — are selling between $2 million and $8 million per advertiser, according to a person familiar with the deals. That range depends on the number of ads and whether or not they are shown during a game versus alongside other NFL content (more on that below).
6/14/2016: Twitter has invested in music streaming service SoundCloud
Two years ago Twitter thought about buying SoundCloud, but ended up walking away from the music service.
Now Twitter has bought a piece of SoundCloud instead.
Twitter has invested around $70 million in the music service, as part of a round that should end up in the $100 million-range, according to sources familiar with the deal. The round is expected to value SoundCloud at about $700 million — the same value that investors placed on the company in 2014, when it raised $60 million; since then it has also raised a debt round.
4/24/2016: Beyoncé's 'Lemonade' comes to iTunes tonight
Last night Beyoncé debuted "Lemonade" via an HBO special, then began streaming the album exclusively via Tidal.
But if you can wait a few hours, you'll be able to get "Lemonade" on iTunes. The album, including the accompanying videos that Beyoncé debuted on Saturday, will be on sale via Apple's download store at midnight ET, according to a person familiar with the release plans.
4/6/2016: It's Not Just Celebrities — Facebook Is Paying Media Companies to Make Live Video, Too
Sources say Facebook is paying the New York Times, BuzzFeed and the Huffington Post, among other publishers.
1/24/2016: Big Exec Departures at Twitter: Media Head Stanton and Product Head Weil Leaving
In a major executive upheaval, two of Twitter's top executives — media head Katie Jacobs Stanton and product head Kevin Weil — are departing the company, according to sources close to the situation.
Also see this: Also Out at Twitter: Engineering Head Roetter (and More to Come)
And this: Another Twitter Goodbye: Vine Head Jason Toff
11/12/2015: Snapchat Signs Another Publisher: The Wall Street Journal
The Wall Street Journal is going after a new audience. So, apparently, is Snapchat.
The Journal will soon be joining Snapchat's group of Discover publishers, according to multiple sources, the first major business publication to join Snapchat since it first launched Discover back in January. It's unclear exactly when the Journal is set to launch its channel, but the deal is done, these people say. Both Snapchat and the Journal declined to comment.
10/9/2015: Twitter Is Planning Company-Wide Layoffs for Next Week
Jack Dorsey was named permanent CEO of Twitter on Monday, and a big reason he got the job was that as a co-founder, Dorsey isn't afraid to make the tough, necessary decisions. He isn't wasting much time.
Twitter is planning company-wide layoffs next week, according to multiple sources. It's unclear how much of the staff will be culled, but insiders say it will likely affect most, if not all, departments.
9/30/2015: Jack Dorsey to Be Named Permanent Twitter CEO
Jack is back — for good this time.
Twitter co-founder Jack Dorsey, who has been serving as interim CEO for the past three months, is expected be named the company's new permanent CEO as early as tomorrow, although that timeframe may change, according to sources. Dorsey will apparently continue to run Square, the payments company he founded where he's also CEO.
9/29/2015: Twitter Plans to Go Beyond Its 140-Character Limit
Twitter is building a new product that will allow users to share tweets that are longer than the company's 140-character limit, according to multiple people familiar with the company's plans.
9/21/2015: Axel Springer wants to buy Business Insider for around $560 million
German publishing giant Axel Springer is closing in on a deal to buy Business Insider, in a deal that would value the Web publisher at around $560 million.
Sources familiar with the two companies think a transaction could close within weeks.
6/11/2015: Twitter employees 'shocked,' saddened by Dick Costolo's departure
"Employees were definitely shocked," one Twitter employee told Re/code. "He's loved by all so I think there's sadness all around."
Status: Unverified
5/25/2015: Twitter has held talks to acquire Flipboard
Twitter has been engaged in an ongoing series of talks to acquire Flipboard, according to multiple sources with knowledge of the situation, in an all-stock deal that would value the company at over $1 billion.
Those discussions, which have been pushed by Twitter CFO Anthony Noto, have been taking place since the beginning of the year, said sources, as the social communications giant has faced increasing pressure from Wall Street to grow its audience and innovate its products. But despite a flurry of activity more recently, sources said these talks between Twitter and Flipboard — who are partners on a number of different fronts — seem to be currently stalled.
Status: Unverified
5/20/2015: Stripe to land $5 billion valuation in new investment
In Silicon Valley, the rich keeping get richer.
Stripe, the online payments company, is in talks to raise new investment dollars at around a $5 billion valuation, according to multiple sources familiar with the deal. The exact amount of the investment could not be learned. The talks come less than seven months after the San Francisco-based company announced a $70 million investment that valued it at $3.5 billion. Stripe has raised $190 million in total in previous financing rounds.
A Stripe spokeswoman declined to comment.
Status: Unverified
4/20/2015: Nokia plots 2016 return to phone market
As early as next year, the company aims to rejoin the phone market, two sources briefed on Nokia's plans told Re/code. In addition, the company has a number of other ambitious technology projects, including some in the virtual reality arena, these sources said.
Status: Nokia statement: "Nokia reiterates it currently has no plans to manufacture or sell consumer handsets."
4/15/2015: Jawbone to launch payments wearable with Amex, as it closes a $300M investment round
And, according to sources, Jawbone has also completed a new round of funding, raising $300 million from investment giant BlackRock. While the company declined to comment on the new money, sources said that it will value the company at about $3 billion.
Status: Unverified
4/15/2015: Sources say Yahoo, Foursquare are not in talks
Yahoo is not in talks to buy local recommendations service Foursquare, according to multiple people familiar with the companies. Earlier today TechCrunch reported a possible deal and floated a $900 million price tag.
Status: Unverified
4/13/2015: Snapchat is no longer selling its original ad unit, Brand Stories
Snapchat is making a few tweaks to its six-month-old ad business.
The company has stopped selling Brand Stories, the first type of ad it released last fall, according to multiple people familiar with the move. Brand Stories are the equivalent of sponsored stories, allowing a marketer to share photos and video content with users that aren't following them; it debuted in October with Universal Studios, which ran a trailer for its upcoming film "Ouija."
Status: Unverified
3/31/2015: Andreessen Horowitz invests another $52 million in Tanium at $1.75 billion valuation
Sources familiar with the terms of the deal tell Re/code that the investment values Tanium at $1.75 billion. That's up from $900 million when Tanium raised $90 million from Andreessen last year.
Status: Unverified
3/24/2015: Google working on project to let you receive and pay bills directly inside Gmail
Google's mission to organize the world's information is now targeting your physical mailbox.
The company is currently working on a project that will allow Gmail users to more easily receive bills in their email inbox instead of their mailbox. Called Pony Express, the service also is designed to let people pay their bills within Gmail, rather than having to go to a telecom or utility company's website to complete a payment.
Those details are outlined in a lengthy document viewed by Re/code. The new service is scheduled to start in the fourth quarter, according to the document. It's not clear whether Pony Express is a code name or one that'll be used if it comes to market. A Google spokeswoman declined to comment.
Status: Unverified
2/4/2015: Apple is talking to TV programmers about its own web TV service
Industry executives say Apple is in talks with TV programmers about deals that would allow Apple to offer an "over the top" pay TV, service, like the one Dish has started selling with its Sling TV product, and the one Sony is getting ready to launch.
Status: Still unverified
1/30/2015: Could activist investors take aim at Twitter's Costolo?
Why all the noisy support? Perhaps, said many sources with knowledge of the situation, growing worries about potential attacks from activist shareholders. Thus, a goal to try to shut down the conversation around Costolo's efficacy.
Status: Still unverified


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Daniel Ryfa put the pressure on the other Challenger pilots in the final Free Practice session before this afternoon's Qualifying by posting a time of 1:00.736, nearly a second faster than his closest rival.
Ben Murphy was the closest to Ryfa and crossed the Finish Gate 0.872s slower than the Swedish pilot. It's hotter in the track today and current Challenger Champion Florian Bergér struggled in the heat, he was more than 1.5s slower than the leader.
Polish pilot Luke Czepiela was fourth on the timesheet with Melanie Astles just behind him in fifth, she finished with a time of 1:03.611, not her fastest run of the week, so she'll be analysing her lines looking for ways to improve for Qualifying.
Kevin Coleman, who finished second in Abu Dhabi last year, was off the pace. The American finished more than three seconds behind session winner Ryfa, and has said he needs to find speed from somewhere.
New Challenger Baptiste Vignes flew smoothly in the session, but was unable to improve on his times from yesterday. The French pilot finished 5.072s behind the leader, but picked up a penalty for incorrect level flying.
Qualifying for the Challengers begins at 15:00 local time (11:00UTC), you can follow it all LIVE right here.
Challenger Class Free Practice 3 results


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Social workers lend a hand to those who need help when others look away or ignore them altogether. Deeply compassionate, kind, and determined, social workers enable suffering men, women, and children to take control and carve their own path toward a positive life.
This is a field with a very broad definition. Students need education and training in issues like diversity, ethics, populations-at-risk, and socioeconomic justice — but the career options are wide-ranging and, in many cases, interchangeable.
The Bureau of Labor and Statistics (BLS) divides social work into two categories of work: those who provide direct-service to people cope with problems in their everyday lives, and clinical social workers who diagnose mental, behavioral, and social issues.
Given these overarching descriptions, it is easy to see that academic preparation for this career will draw on a number of different academic disciplines; these include economics, statistics, sociology, anthropology, and public administration. As a social worker, you will need to handle sensitive information in environments that are often unstable, help clients manage different problem areas of their lives, maintain confidentiality and act in the best interest of the people you serve (and, in many cases, their families). The National Association of Social Workers (NASW), code of ethics will help you understand this dynamic employment field — as will courses from your college and university.
Social workers require a four-year degree, and there are many positions that require a master's degree. Clinical social workers need a master's degree and a license, depending on the state. Students who know they want to work in the field of social work have a lot of flexibility with the university and program they choose – many social workers have an undergrad degree in psychology or sociology, not just social work or health and family services.
Many aspiring social workers learn a specialization in college. It is important to find a program you love, and a major that interests you. Here is a comprehensive list of majors, employers and jobs to get you thinking in the right direction.
As of May 2008 social workers earned a salary of $43,120. CNN Money rank social work at the top of the pile for stressful jobs that pay poorly. Even though social workers are in short supply, many programs are underfunded; as a result, many professionals earn meager paychecks without a strong chance for advancement.
With an aging U.S. population, social work related to the elderly is estimated to record especially strong growth. The BLS expects the same for social work positions in schools. Competition is often fierce in cities, but rural locations are in need and might be a good place for a recent graduate to look for initial employment.
Overall employment growth among social workers is expected to increase 16% between 2008 and 2018, significantly higher than most other professions. Job growth in certain areas of social work practice is expected to be even more substantial, with some disciplines anticipating an over 20% increase in available jobs, including the sectors of mental and public health, as well as substance abuse.
Four out of ten social workers work for the government; the Department of Veteran's Affairs is the largest current employer of social workers. This agency is expected to continue to grow as more veterans return home. Nearly 6,000 social workers are on staff helping veterans and families with counseling, crisis intervention, and substance abuse.
The Penn State World Campus first opened in 1998, when online education was still a brand new concept. Today, Penn State offers over 90 programs online and boasts nearly 12,000 graduates.
Northeastern University (Boston & online)
A selective admissions process ensures admitted online students get a high-quality learning experience including attention and time with faculty and instruction. High retention rates speak to the university's quality.
Oregon State University (online)
The OSU Ecampus awards undergraduate and graduate degrees in more than 30 fields of study, and provides students with flexibility in order to tailor their degrees to their career aspirations – this is great for students pursuing a career in the broad field of social work.
It can be hard to make a transition to a master's program — especially if you've already landed a job in the field. Fortunately, programs like the online Master's through Boston University provide you with the opportunity to pursue both.
From the moment you decide this is the field for you, it is never too early to start the job hunt. Remember, this is a broad field, so the options are limitless!
Before you start applying to careers in social work, spend some time evaluating the trajectory of your career path. Identify your skills, interests, preferences, and values. In a field like social work, burnout is high, and those who don't spend time thinking about what is important for them in a workplace are often the first to quit. Use this career guide from Boston University to help you get started. Once you've decided on a direction, here are a few rules to keep in mind:
Follow social work news – Even if you aren't ready for the job market, it can help you think about the skills you need and the kinds of jobs that seem most interesting. Try these to start:
Think globally – Social workers are needed far and beyond the borders of your state — the need for international social workers is just as big, so don't feel the need to fence yourself in. There are positions available in non-governmental organizations (NGOs), university-based, religious, and non-profit sectors around the world.
Volunteer – There are opportunities all around you. Consider community housing, job training programs, corrections facilities, homeless shelters, child centers, non-profits, soup kitchens, battered women homes, and/or literacy programs.
Never stop networking – Informational interviews are an excellent way to establish contacts while also getting the opportunity to get candid advice, tips and experiences from a professional in the field. Here is a great list of resources, including questions to ask, a mock letter request and corresponding resume tips.
Don't let the demands of social work intimidate you. If you've got the heart for helping others, then you will find the rewards of social work as valuable as any other. It is a labor of caring and love, and when you see your hard work make a real difference in the life of another, it will all be worth it.


text: Q. I have been asked to give a bid on painting a house with asbestos shingle siding (probably from the late '40s or early '50s) and a number of shingles are cracked or broken. I doubt if one can buy these shingles anymore and I was wondering if you know of any satisfactory replacement product. Would any special precaution be needed in removing the old broken shingles? As the shingles have never been painted, would they require a special primer or special paint? A. Common sense should be our teacher. The siding you're looking at is called Transite and was manufactured in Canada during the 1940s and 1950s. It is a cement board product that used asbestos as a binder for the cement. This product was made as roof shingles and siding that looks like wood shingles. It is on hundreds of thousands of older homes. The good news is that it's non-friable in place. This means it does not have loose fibers that can escape and cause lung damage. Repairing damaged and broken pieces is going to be a tough nut. There may be some loose fibers around the broken pieces. As long as you wet down the broken pieces with water and carefully remove them, there should be no problem. You may not need to remove them if you follow a couple of my repair techniques. Broken or cracked pieces can usually be caulked or actually glued back together with epoxy right in place. If little pieces are missing, repair the holes with architectural, exterior grade epoxy putties. You should fill the areas a little higher than the surface and then shape it with chisels and other hand tools to match the surrounding piece. Don't disturb the original shingle by sanding or grinding the epoxy as that could wake up the asbestos (make it friable) and release asbestos into the air. If you have pieces of whole siding missing completely, the James Hardie Company (www.jameshardie.com) makes modern cement board products. These tend to be a little thicker, but they still have the embossed wood grain on their face (isn't it amazing that most synthetic replacement siding products are inferior enough to real wood siding that their makers have to emboss fake wood grain onto their products -- hmm). Most architectural salvage outfits avoid saving Transite like the plague. The new products use some non-asbestos binder. I'm having a tough time finding out what this new binder is, but I'm sure after a few thousand of the cement board installers croak, the EPA will ban it as well. Here's what the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has to say about it. "Non-friable materials, such as transite siding and floor tiles are not regulated provided it does not become friable. Machine grinding, sanding and dry-buffing are ways of causing non-friable materials to become friable." This is a big turnaround for the EPA. In the past they wanted asbestos out of every structure. They were more like the Environmental Panic Agency in years past. The new panic is lead paint and EPA's reaction to this issue is totally out of control as we speak (that's for another column). Transite siding was about the only decent replacement siding ever on the market. It was rarely installed over moisture trapping backer/insulation board and is rigid enough to allow a transfer of air. As a result, the original siding underneath rarely has any damage beyond the day the Transite was installed. It also holds paint wonderfully as long it's painted with oil primer and paint. In my experience, Transite will hold paint without peeling for 30 to 40 years. It may fade and wear from the weather, but I've not seen it peel. I feel these new cement board siding materials will have similar paint longevity as well. Finally, I've removed Transite siding from so many historic houses I've lost track. As a homeowner, you have every legal right to remove this and go back to your beautiful, original exterior. Wet down the siding with a hose and carefully remove the pieces. Keep it very wet and even if you break a few, the water will hold down the fibers. Your local waste company will send out a Dumpster with special stickers for asbestos. It will cost a little more than a regular Dumpster but it is worth it. Keep the layers of Transite in the Dumpster wet as you go along. E-mail your questions to firstname.lastname@example.com. Bob Yapp is an author, historic home rehabber and furniture maker. He is also a community preservation specialist with Historic Landmarks Foundation of Indiana and lives in South Bend.


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Mohammed Abdul Kahar, the 23-year-old who was shot in the Forest Gate raid has said that that the policeman who shot him gave no warning...but they did have eye contact.
We both had eye contact, he shot me straight away. I just saw an orange spark and a big bang. I flew into the wall, slipped down. There was blood coming down my chest. I knew I was shot.
Londonist has since spoken to a Met spokesperson who confirmed that official proecedure in these circumstances runs in this order:
First: Make eye contact.
Second: Shoot.
Later: Ask questions.
The spokesperson went on to say that "Official police guidelines now state that in a situation where evil chemical terrorist gangs are being neutralised, our troops...sorry, officers, are able to replace the traditional pre-shooting warning with the more sublte and much faster 'eye contact' strategy.
Eyes are the window of the soul after all, and if a person seems to have an evil terrorist soul, or even looks vaguley shifty, then we pop a cap in their ass."


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Can a guilty conscience keep wounds from healing?
Fine arts major, Candace Parker, grew up with a mother who thinks image is everything, and her daughter's perfection will never be good enough. About to graduate college and pursue her dreams of becoming a professional ballerina, Candace decides it's time to let go and have a little fun. But fun is short-lived when a brutal attack leaves her completely shattered.
The memories that consume and torment Candace are starting to destroy her when she meets Ryan Campbell, a successful bar owner. He feels instantly connected and tries to show her that hope is worth fighting for. But is Ryan harboring his own demons? As walls slowly begin to chip away, the secrets that are held within start to become painful burdens.
At what point do secrets become lies?
(17+) This book contains mature subject matter that is not suitable for those under the age of 17.
My review
I cannot write this review without mentioning the quote E. K. Blair has put on the first page:
"And though she be but little, she is fierce" – William Shakespeare, "A Midsummer Night's Dream".
To me, it sets the tone right away: it tells me how strong our main character will have to become during the story.
I am in sheer and utter book heaven – with a massive book hangover, too! This book is simply outstanding…I hardly know where to begin with this review, because my thoughts are just all over the place. I usually wait a few days to write a review, but not this time. No, I feel I have to write it now while the book is fresh in my mind.
First of all, this is not a book for the fainthearted – without giving too much away, I feel I have to warn you about one particular matter: there is a very vivid, very brutal rape scene in the beginning of the book, so if you refuse to read a book that deals with such a heavy subject matter, "Fading" will not be for you. However, if you can see past this one particular scene, I implore you to do so and read this book!
This is the story about a young woman, Candace, who all her life has led a very cautious, very simple (and even, at times, a bit boring) life, who really only have 3 constants in her life: her ballet and her two friends, Jase & Kimber.
As she is talking with her employer, Roxy, one day about her life, she decides to live it up a bit for her final year in college – to be spontaneous and carefree for once in her life. It starts with a simple tattoo: a small heart placed on her hip. Little does she know how significant this heart will become later on…but I am getting ahead of myself here.
The only thing in Candace's life that is filled with passion is her dancing: ballet means the world to her.
"The freedom you can find within the strict boundaries of technique makes me feel alive. I am happiest when I dance."
Candace starts dating this guy, Jack, basically because her mother tells her to – and at first he seems like a nice guy, but Candace does not feel this "spark" towards him that she desperately wants to feel. Needless to say, Jack does not take her refusal of him kindly…
This is the pivotal point for Candace: when Jack rapes her, her world, her heart, her soul crumble to ashes and everything she used to be is, well…fading.
"I sit here, on the bottom of the shower, and everything I know about myself, everything I love, everything I am begins to fade."
After this turn of events, we are shown how Candace struggles to get back to living instead of merely existing.
We get to experience everything with Candace, every step she goes through – in my opinion, the author very much excels at showing us how important mundane routines in life can be necessarry to a victim of such a heinous act. Your heart breaks every time she has a nightmare, every time she cries and seeks comfort in her best friend, Jase.
"I don't understand what I did that was so wrong."
Wiping away my tears with his thumb, he says, "You didn't do anything wrong."
"Then why did this happen to me?"
I find Candace to be a very believable character: in her own way, she IS strong, she has a beautiful soul and heart. I understand her fear of running into Jack again. I can even understand the guilt she feels, even though it is completely misplaced. I believe that is a very common conception many rape victims go through. I find her withdrawal from her friend, Kimber, incredibly sad, but, again, understandable and real.
It is not until Candace meets Ryan – the "hot-ass guy" as Roxy calls him – that she starts to really get better, though. From the moment they meet, you sense that these two will form an incredible bond with each other, and I must admit that theirs is one of the most beautiful love stories I have ever read. And even though the main story centers around Candace and her very emotional journey, the story of Ryan and their relationship is equally as important.
Ryan is a most swoon-worthy hero. He has the "bad boy vibe" going on but at the same time he has a truly amazing heart and he is not afraid to show it to Candace which is very refreshing. He has had to battle his own demons in his past and he slowly, but surely, makes Candace trust him with all of her heart by being very patient and sweet with her. The way he makes Candace feels…well, it is so heartwartming.
"You're so fucking beautiful."
I believe him when he says those words to me. I might not feel that way in a day from now, or even an hour from now. But right now, in this moment – I believe him."
Yes, Ryan is perfect book boyfriend material. A protective alpha male who is also gorgeous, sensitive, playful…the list goes on and on. And true, he makes a very bad decision, but it is, in a way, necessary in order to make Candace take the final steps toward healing.
There are so many beautiful moments between Ryan and Candace but I do not want to give too much away – if you only read one book this year, let this be it. Yes, this is a long book, which I, personally, love, and you are not bored one single minute of reading it. I find it very refreshing, actually, to see a book that is 400+ pages, where the pace is never rushed but flows naturally. Not one sentence of this book is simply "a filler" – every sentence holds significance – and you want to savour it while reading it.
"Dropping his head to mine, he confesses softly: "You're the only one I've ever done that with. You're the only one I've ever made love to."
Throughout reading "Fading", I felt so many different emotions: anger, nausea, heartache, elation…I could go on. I find it absolutely amazing that this is E. K. Blair's first novel because the way it is written…well, it is sheer beauty! Every character feels real, and I cannot wait to read "Falling"- Ryan's story – when it comes out later this year. But first, I am looking forward to reading Jase's story, "Freeing".
I took a chance with "Fading", meaning that I did not buy the ebook version – I went ahead and bought the paperback. I will never regret that I did because this book now sits on my Favourite Books shelf. And I have a feeling it will be the same with "Freeing" and "Falling". Miss Blair: please do NOT hurry while writing "Falling" – please make it as beautiful a book as "Fading". 🙂
How to connect with E. K. Blair


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Dealing with the loss of a child is never easy, but it's even more difficult when you are an expat living far from home. Life will never be "normal" again and so now the challenge is to find my new normal. I am now back in the USA and the proud parent of two daughters, born using two different egg donors. "Frostina" and "Olea" are the loves of my life and I feel so grateful for the amazing women who donated their eggs and made my family possible.
Saturday, 31 March 2012
Just Something Else I'll Never Know
It can be anything really. There are lots of triggers out there. But for some reason it's the things I'll never know that get me the most. I could go through the whole list, but my heart can't take writing that kind of post right now. I'll save that for another day when I'm not feeling quite so vulnerable. Perhaps after Frostina is born happy and healthy and I'm not so worried that I also won't know those things about her. So for now I'm going to put that list aside and get back on topic.
I was chatting with a friend over lunch this week and she was asking about my pregnancy. As I was filling her in on some things the waitress came over and asked if we wanted dessert. After we both said no, I mentioned to my friend that it's probably better if I taper down on my sugars for a while as I'm pretty sure I'll be having my gestational diabetes test sometime soon. That got us on the subject of all the blood tests and injections you have to endure when you're pregnant and how you end up feeling like a human pincushion.
I mentioned in passing that I'm almost due for my anti-d injection. She had no idea what I was talking about and asked what that was. I went on to explain to her that I have an RH-negative blood type and if you have that then your body can create anti-bodies to your baby if he/she has an RH-positive one.
I went on to explain how before they knew about this, babies used to die sometimes as a result of the Mother's immune system thinking the baby was some kind of virus. So now, they give you the anti-d injections as a way to prevent your body from building up any kind of antibodies that can hurt your baby. If the baby is also RH-negative then you won't build up the antibodies, but since they have no way of knowing until after the birth, they give everyone the injections as a precaution. **I am not a doctor so please don't think that I'm any kind of expert on this kind of thing. This is just my understanding of things.
That made me think about my first pregnancy with my son. "You know," I said to her, "I don't know what blood type my son had."
It's not something I've ever wondered about before. Now that I'm pregnant again I suppose it's relevant though. Did the anti-d injections I had in my last pregnancy save me from building up antibodies against this one? Was my son RH-negative like I am? Or was he RH-positive like The Hubby? As I was at a lunch with friends I quickly let the question slip out of my mind and I went on with my day.
For some reason I woke up thinking about this question this morning. One of many questions I have about my son, who will never grow up and help me answer them. There was only one place I could think of to check for the answer. His post mortem report. Not an easy read by any account, but I felt compelled to give it a go. So I dug it out and read through it for probably only the second or third time ever.
It's a completely heartbreaking thing to read, even though I don't understand half of it with all the medical speak it contains. I scoured the entire document with it's charts and figures, but no mention of his blood type. It seems like a strange thing to leave off. I mean, they have the weights and measurements of all his organs, but no blood type?
So basically, I tortured myself with reading in detail about how my son died and didn't get the answer to my question. Nice way to spend a Saturday afternoon! I had a small breakdown after that. Not because it's so important for me to know what his blood type was, but because it's just one more thing I don't know about him.
One more item to add to the list that I'm not ready to write yet.
Just something else I'll never know.
12 comments:
I'm sorry that you tortured yourself without getting any answers. :( If it makes you feel any better, I don't know what any of my kids blood types are. Believe it or not, unless your kid needs an operation or blood, they don't test it. Reading this post I just realized how strange that is that I don't have any idea what their blood type is. I didn't know what my own blood type was until I needed an operation. Huh. Now I want to know.ReplyDelete
Rh factor is dominant, so your baby boy would have been Rh+, and your injection ay very well have protected Frostina from your antibodies. It seems like the medical field finds so little about our lost babies interesting enough to actually test and document, things of course we would be curious about. I hate that.ReplyDelete
Hugs to you, Sweetie...
Blessings to your grieving heart todayReplyDelete
we never got a copy of our son's post mortem, didn't know we could.
I too am RH-. I didn't even know about it until after I gave birth to my daughter and they came in asking my consent to inject me with the Anti-D. That seems strange now that through my whole pregnancy no one let me know of this potential problem. I remember asking when they told me about it if they knew her blood type, but they said they were unable to test her blood because of the situation (as she had died a few days before birth) - I don't understand why or know if that was true or not?ReplyDelete
Just another of those many things we'll always wonder about them...
That must have been so hard to read... and so frustrating to not find the answer you're looking for. I still find it almost impossible to read Gabrielle's autopsy report. There are so many things that we'll never know... you're so right. And I always find that unanswered questions leave the greatest doubt in my mind about whether I could have done anything different when really it was completely beyond our control. Love to you always xoxoReplyDelete
Hope's blood type turned in to a huge saga for us, the day after she was born. As I was RH neg as well so they needed to know her blood type to see if I needed another shot after her birth. But pathology would not test her blood, as she was dead, so therefore not a patient! It was so ridiculous and there were people yelling at one another over the phone. Eventually they tested her blood, and tested her under my patient number. And she had my blood type, o-neg, so the shots weren't necessary. So I do know that detail, but like you my heart breaks for all the millions of other little things I don't know about her. I still kick myself I never unwrapped her and looked at her naked little body.ReplyDelete
Love to you.
So sorry about this. Wishing you peace.ReplyDelete
One more thing you will never know. That list well it is never ending. We all have one...at least in our minds. The who, what etc...of who our children would be. I don't know my daughter's blood type either. I know it doesn't really matter. I still wonder. I am thinking of you.ReplyDelete
- Anonymous3 April 2012 at 03:25
Sending peace mamma....ReplyDelete
I did exactly the same, I found it strange her blood type was never mentioned lots of love xReplyDelete
The number of times when I was pregnant with Sunny that I found myself sifting through Riley box of things o check something to see if it was the same to check a small detail I may have forgotten, only to realise I didn't have that information. I didn't have the picture I was looking for. It would just leave me more upset and wondering if I would actually get to bring her home.ReplyDelete
I too am Rh negative, and don't remember if they gave me a shot after Anna's birth or not. If they tested her, I never knew and her blood type wasn't mentioned in her autopsy report either. (But they sure had her Apgar scores. 0 at one minute, 0 at 5 minutes, 0 at 15 minutes. That was the worst of the report for me.) It actually hadn't occurred to me to wonder about her blood type until I read your post. I guess it falls into the same category for me as for Renel. It doesn't matter. But now that it's out there, I wonder.ReplyDelete
I'm sorry it was a bad day - how could it not be, reading the report? At the same time there is comfort knowing I'm not the only one who pulls it out once in awhile, or intentionally goes back into hell for some reason or another.


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|Koh Phangan - the fantasy island where I lived.
Photo courtesy of the gorgeously talented Clara Jansen
|The beach that I would come to live on on KPN photo c/o Clara again
|View from my beach hut on Koh Phangan
|Channelling the Goddess
|Shakti awakens
|The Shiva Hall at Agama, being prepared for a Tantric ritual
|Shakti Power with Lyonne, another Tantric yogini
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love by Sabrina at Wake Up Bar, Chaloklum
But it wasn't all a walk in the park and, as with most communities, I found some of the aspects of the Agama 'way' challenging. Some of the members of the community were hard core non-drinking, non-smoking yogis who advocated 'urine therapy' (the daily drinking of one's own urine) and eating only 'yang foods' such as brown rice. I don't have anything against the lifestyle choices of others, but again I defer to Ram Dass on this when it comes to enforced asceticism "you cannot rip the skin from the snake, the snake will shed it's skin when it's ready". Nevertheless, with one notable exception (more on this later) the majority of my time on the island was also spent in sobriety.
What I found more difficult was the encouragement of polyamoury within the community. Whilst I find the concepts of non ownership and unconditional love something to aspire to, I couldn't help but feeling that there were a few people on the island indulging in 'red tantra' - i.e. sex for the sake of sex. In this way, the ego is indulged, not surpassed and it is very easy to fall into the usual sense-pleasure games under the thin guise of 'spirituality'. They do say the tantric path is a slippery one after all. Although at times tempted, I did manage to successfully avoid getting dragged in. Another of my concerns focused around the ubiquitousness of sexual healing and the occasional unscrupulousness of certain people purporting to be healers whose motives might not be entirely pure. Thankfully the instances of this were peripheral and rare, but nonetheless it was something that I was conscious of and had occasional concerns for those more vulnerable than myself.
Despite this, however, my time on the island was nothing short of transformational. I am now a fully fledged and initiated tantrica and I went on from this to not only complete a tantric yoga teacher training course, but found my own company which runs tantric workshops. We have just launched our first event in Goa which was a great success - you can read all about it on my website and our Facebook page. Perhaps most importantly, I learned what it truly is to be a woman. To surrender. To devote myself to the Divine. To be a good partner. To love myself. And I was about to open myself to such riches that I could not have previously dreamt possible before. For this, I have my lover, Phil to thank, I have my new friends to thank (Johnny, Nicola, Lauren) and I have Agama. Although I don't necessarily sign up to all of their teachings, I think I have found my path.
To be continued...


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This series explores the widening Wealth Gap and its impact on class and race relations, excerpting heavily from Thomas Piketty, Professor at the Paris School of Economics, who has explored the structural cause of the wealth gap in his book Capital in the Twenty-First Century published in 2014. He created quite a stir, getting both rave reviews and harsh critiques. He brought the issue of a widening wealth gap to the limelight and has shown how war mitigated extreme wealth gaps in the past. And without a discussion and resolution, war may again mitigate the current wealth gap extreme.
Capital in the Twenty-First Century by Thomas Piketty, Professor Paris School of Economics, 2014, Excerpts
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02 Dec 2016
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UK one of the most unequal countries, says Oxfam
13 Sep 2016
The richest 1% of the UK population owns more than 20 times the wealth of the poorest fifth, according to Oxfam. That made Britain one of the most unequal countries in the developed world and contributed to the vote for Brexit, the charity said. The report said many people in the UK felt locked out of politics and economic opportunity. Rachael Orr, head of Oxfam's UK Program, said: "Inequality is a massive barrier to tackling poverty and has created an economy that clearly isn't working for everyone."
Wealth Over Work
23 Mar 2014
It seems safe to say that "Capital in the Twenty-First Century," the magnum opus of the French economist Thomas Piketty, will be the most important economics book of the year — and maybe of the decade. Mr. Piketty, arguably the world's leading expert on income and wealth inequality, does more than document the growing concentration of income in the hands of a small economic elite. He also makes a powerful case that we're on the way back to "patrimonial capitalism," in which the commanding heights of the economy are dominated not just by wealth, but also by inherited wealth, in which birth matters more than effort and talent.
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Meet our wonderful cleaning staff: Passar Via
It is about time we talk about one of the most important aspect of the services we offer; one that nobody notices if it is done well: the cleaning! Apart from the fact that we use eco-friendly cleaning products and methods, we want to introduce the people who make sure our Casas are spotless, odor-free and come with all the necessary amenities like enough (recycled) toilet paper, fresh towels and bedsheets, filtered tap water, and organic locally-made hand soap to just name a few.
We work with Passar Via, a company founded in 1998 by Enric Massana and Sergi Pallares as a spin-off to the Foundation Els Tres Tres Turons. Their mission is to help people with mental illnesses to find work by offering training and individual mentoring. A job provides structure, meaning and purpose as well as social integration, which are key ingredients to help people with mental disabilities recover. Through working with Passar Via, we realised that mental disabilities are nothing too out of the ordinary, and frankly, could happen to any of us at some point of our lives. Some common illnesses are for example depression or phobias. According to the World Health Organisation, "depression is the leading cause of ill health and disability worldwide".
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February 22, 2013
CAS-ual Fridays (Silver)
8 comments:
- Lisa said...
What a striking card Dana ~wow!! So sorry to see you leaving the team, you WILL be missed.
- February 22, 2013 at 10:11 AM
- Miriam Prantner said...
I can't believe you are leaving! I will miss your CASual Friday creations, but I'm following so I won't miss a thing. This is such a great idea BTW, very cool!
- February 22, 2013 at 11:22 AM
- Michelle said...
You cut up a soda can? Wowzers. You're like a real artist....that's clever....and so....striking; really cool. And I like that orange piece in there too...interesting (good) color combination.
- February 22, 2013 at 11:44 AM
- Deb said...
Sniff, sniff, I am going to miss you too, Dana! You are so clever in your creations. Hugs!!
- February 22, 2013 at 2:02 PM
- Ruza Rebel said...
What a cool idea to recycle a pop can! Sorry to see that you're leaving the team, but you sure did go out with style! Awesome card! :D
- February 23, 2013 at 11:31 PM
- Michele Gross said...
You have rocked 91 challenges with me!! 91!!! Love ya girl!!!
- February 24, 2013 at 11:31 PM
- Lisa Petrella said...
WOWZERS! This is a totally clever idea, and I LOVE the results!!!! AWESOME AWESOME work!!! You are truly an artist!!!!!
- February 24, 2013 at 11:51 PM
- Paulina said...
This is so unique and fun, Dana! You always have such creative ideas.
Awww...I know you will be missed on the CAS-ual Fridays team. Working with you firsthand, I know how much of a gem you are. <3
- February 27, 2013 at 3:42 PM