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Monday, March 31, 2014
Part III - why our money mindset matters - tapping into business success and releasing money guilt using EFT and the 2nd house
In astrology money is 2nd house stuff; the 2nd house rules our finances, our values, our possessions, even our talent but what really shows up in the 2nd house is our self worth. It rules what money can buy and what it can't buy. This is the space where we pull our own weight in the world. This space is ruled by the planet Venus and the sign of Taurus.
Most people think of Taurus as represented by the stubborn bull and they can be, but Taurus is really the space in the zodiac that expresses our need for stability and grounding - ain't nothing moving that bull if he don't want to be moved.
(yes, I am going to talk about grounding again - this stuff is all connected plus I am obsessed we know this)
They always benefit by being out in nature,
(a Taurus in the city will not be a pleasant person to be around for long unless allowed a cat, dog or at least a fish tank, plenty of plants and frequent trips to the country)
peace and quiet, hands in the dirt, music in their ears and sensual touch
(think cuddles, hot baths, massages - the kind of touch that feels like safety).
Because Taurus is the natural ruler of the 2nd house the things that strengthen Taurus will strengthen our own 2nd houses, too.
(yes, the same 2nd house that holds our money, our values and our self worth - if you know who is hanging out in your 2nd house and where Venus and Taurus are in your natal chart, you can also work with that energy)
It could seem like taking a hot bath is not something that will make us any money, but it may be exactly what we need to feel safe and cared for. This is the rich soil of self nurturing that grows money best.
Anyhoo, on to tapping (not the kind with the awesome shoes - sorry!).
I first read about tapping and the Emotional Freedom Technique through Jack Canfield - the Chicken Soup for the Soul Guy.
It's a form of accupressure and is a simple exercise that you do to yourself.
Tapping works on the theory that negative emotional experiences disturb the energy meridians that run through our bodies. When we use our fingertips to tap on specific points on our face, head and body while focusing on a negative feeling, EFT quickly realigns the energy meridians associated with those particular thoughts and memories and allows healing to occur.
It is an excellent tool and you can do it almost anywhere. Google around and find some information and videos. Cheryl Richardson has one here. She is talking about anxiety but it works exactly the same with our beliefs.
I use the "Even though I have this fear - naming the fear", or "Even though I have this memory - naming the memory - I deeply and completely accept myself." There is something about the pressure on specific energy points while our body is hearing these words that allows our body to reset itself. It's amazingly effective.
With EFT we take responsibility for calming and soothing ourselves and changing our negative mood or belief instead of waiting for some external thing to come along or happen to change it - it allows us to take our power back. I think that is my favorite thing about it, plus it really does work. Try it for a week and see what happens.
So, what kind of negative belief or memory should we be tapping on to change our money mindset?
Make a list of your money memories or negative beliefs about money you want to release.
I will tell you one of mine that relates to my job loss story from Part I and Part II.
Even though I had technically 'quit' my job I filed for unemployment and since my employer did not want to fight me on this, I got it. I had a much loved uncle and one day I was over his house, no doubt whining about my job loss, but also complaining about the dollar amount of the unemployment check I was about to receive.
My uncle, born in 1924, had probably never worked a week where he made more than $400 in his life.
When I complained about the unemployment amount, he said "you should be grateful you have that". I was immediately filled with guilt. The guilt wasn't about any lack of gratitude on my part, but that I had embarrassed my uncle with my words.
And of course, what I internalized was - "who are you to deserve/ask for more than that?"
When I started thinking about the way money flowed in and out of my life and didn't stick to me, this was one of the memories that came up for me. I knew it told me a lot about my family heritage with money, what I grew up believing I was worth and the ways I self-sabotaged my own stability with guilt over having more than the others around me. I did the forgiveness exercise in the previous post and tapped to release the negative beliefs.
(our memories are always a doorway to our beliefs - asking ourselves why do we remember this particular thing among the gazillion things that have happened to us)
Negative money memories (beliefs) need to be released if we do not want to be sabotaging our business when we hit our income comfort zone.
Often I think I have released something because I have released it in my mind, but my body is still holding onto it.
Many years ago I had a rolfing session with an experienced practitioner and while he was working on my shoulder I had a flash memory of a collection of smiley face stickers on a metal background. It took me about a week to remember these stickers were stickers I had stuck to a metal slide in my backyard when I was a child. I had broken my collarbone when I was nine years old on that slide. When the rolfer (rolfer?) worked on my shoulder, that unconscious memory, stored in my right shoulder, was released. Truly this is self-acceptance at a soul level we are working on with this.
Women often feel guilt about debt more strongly than men do. If you think you will feel better about yourself when you are out of debt you probably won't.
(well maybe for 10 minutes until you celebrate your debt-free status at your favorite restaurant with your Mastercard)
If you let the current state of your wallet dictate your self-worth it will be dictating the future state of your wallet, too. Re-framing your thinking about your debt as life's belief in your future earning ability might help.
When I was in banking I worked with people who had declared bankruptcy. Generally men bounced back faster. They were usually able to separate their money from themselves, "it's just business", they would say, even about their own personal finances. They would file for bankruptcy one week and be in the bank asking me how to get their credit fixed the next. Women often seemed to carry more guilt.
If you have declared bankruptcy - tapping and forgiveness work can help.
Banks who lent you money expecting to get it back took a risk. That's how banks work. They are gamblers, and it's part of their business to lose sometimes. They have long ago moved on and you should, too.
(this isn't a reason to not pay our debts, but some people have debts that have been legally excused for years still casting shadows on their self-worth)
Everyone needs an investment program. Don't think about saving your money for a rainy day because you will inevitably have one with this way of thinking. You are not saving money - money needs to flow. You are investing your money.
(even if your investment looks oddly like your sock drawer right now).
But don't really use your sock drawer. Money likes to be respected - it is part of our 2nd house family of self-worth after all. Some other tips are HERE.
Next up - Part IV - tying this back into our businesses (for real this time) and why it's easier to build a business when we need the money, but not when we REALLY need the money
Friday, March 28, 2014
New Moon in Aries - Cardinal Cross - Action Jackson - NOW the New Year Really Starts ...
I will get back to my money series next week!
We have the first New Moon of the astrological year on Sunday in the "take no prisoners" sign of Aries. This has an energetic connection to April's once in a lifetime planetary activities for all of us.
(more on this next week)
Uranus is really calling the shots here. Jupiter is squaring it and Mars is opposing it, but Mars rules Aries and is hanging out in Libra (justice, balance, relationship). Uranus is about change. And we have Pluto in Capricorn representing the parts in all of us that are desperately trying to hang on to the stuff that is based in fear, the stuff that is crumbling, the stuff that is familiar.
Next month's activity is once in a lifetime, folks.
On Sunday let's set intentions and apply our focus to Aries stuff. Aries is the first sign so rules newness. What does it take to embrace the new? It takes courage.
Aries is very self sufficient. This is the energy of "me". The baby of the zodiac. They can't always see the other person's side of things because if they did they wouldn't be able to take quick, decisive action and that quick decisive action is what they are here to manifest.
Aries doesn't have the staying power of some other signs; he doesn't need it. Aries isn't the cross country race. Aries is that first powerful kick off at the starting line.
Aries isn't about winning or losing (maybe don't tell that to an Aries sun sign); Aries is about daring to start that race in the first place. Aries supports jumping in and taking action. He doesn't promise us that we will come out a winner or even come out alive (yes he's ruled by Mars and he's badass), but he does promise us we will have evolved from the experience.
This doesn't have to be about us jumping out of an airplane or starting a new job or launching a new business (although it could be) - this might be about us standing in the Home Depot paint aisle with a can of our old familiar Tender Taupe in one hand and Behr's New Shoot Green in the other and with a nod to our own Arian energy tossing that Taupe (be careful this stuff might be combustible because we are pretty much on fire now) back on the shelf where it will grow dust bunnies and cobwebs because we have started a New Shoot Green revolution!
And with every coat on our kitchen wall we are channeling the Goddess Athena and howling at the moon (we may hate this color later, who cares - we may repaint it, that's not the point).
The point is we are a different people now. We have evolved and that's what we're here for. We didn't come for the outcome, the outcome has already been decided. We all win in the end. We came for the experience. Aries knows this.
When deciding between familiar and new right now - we choose new and then we let the choice change us.
This is an excellent time for energetic support to make changes with things ruled by Aries : the head (headaches, acne, eyes, brain), the overall physical self, exploration, initiative, courage, leadership, strength, stubbornness, impulsiveness, temper tantrums, anger, stress from inaction - what do we need more of in our lives, what are we needing to release. Now is the time to set intentions for this stuff.
AFFIRMATION TIPS: get into a happy frame of mind - always make affirmations from a positive place - write your affirmations down by hand in script, speak them out loud - I write my affirmations on strips of paper and burn them, releasing the ashes into moving water - then release your attention from these things knowing that your intention is known. Know these things are already yours.
Have a nice weekend everyone! The world she is a changing. I just realized how many people I know who have broken or injured their feet or toes over the last few months - we are all trying to stand on shifting sand now, this is tricky stuff (also a lot of people navigating some depression) - remember this stuff is transitory as we move into a higher consciousness - this New Moon is really a continuation of the Libra New Moon in 2013 and the Capricorn New Moon in January - this is cardinal sign stuff - more on this next week. xo all
Monday, March 24, 2014
Using Astrology and Moon Timing to Launch Your New Product
Now, I do not believe in fortune telling (although these folks look pretty damn reliable, don't you think) but I do believe in right timing.
For anyone launching a creative venture - business, product, book, etc - knowledge of astrology and the moon can be extremely helpful.
The best and most accurate right timing would be personalized to our own natal chart and our business's chart, but there are some general things we can talk about here that apply pretty universally.
First off - unless you absolutely, positively must launch something creative when Mercury or Venus is retrograde - don't. I would try to avoid Mars retrograde periods also. These 3 periods cover almost half of 2014, so we can't always avoid them, but be prepared to be doing revisions and dealing with increased glitches and setbacks.
Of course, sometimes this is exactly the stuff that separates the men from the boys and the women from the girls and makes us and our launches stronger - so if you must move ahead during these periods just move fearlessly and know you can do it!
The muscles you are building now will be needed later anyway.
The moon is fast moving; changing astrological signs every 2.5 days and working its way through its entire cycle in 28 days (through all the signs and from new to waxing to full to waning and back to new).
The Moon is ruled by the sign of Cancer. Cancer is the mother energy that is all about beginnings - tenderly nurturing and appreciating the newness of things.
The New Moon is the time when the skies go dark (the moon is between the earth and the sun). We can't see the new moon (until it forms a crescent later on in the week) - it is literally the time we are "in the dark".
Now, remember everything starts life in the dark as a thought (think seeds in the ground). This is the beginning part which only feels like the beginning part if we are paying attention.
This is the time of pure potential - use it well, but we don't want to actually launch something new at the New Moon (I know it sounds like a good time, but the moon is not so physically strong at this time). The moon should not be void of course either.
The best time to launch something new is the time between the new moon and the full moon - the time when the moon is waxing (appearing to grow larger in the night sky). Ideally we want the moon sextiling the sun or trining the sun - this would be 5 days after the new moon or 10 days after the new moon.
The sun is strongest in a fire sign. The fire signs are Aries, Leo and Sagittarius.
(now I am speaking generally here all sun signs have positive qualities that can work for creation)
The best time to launch something new is when the sun is in Aries (March 21 - April 19 and ruled by Mars the planet of action), Leo (July 23rd - August 22 and ruled by the sun) or Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21st and ruled by Jupiter the planet of good luck).
Some planets are generally more important than others for your new business or product. Mercury rules communication so it is important. Saturn rules structure and hard work and the 10th house so he is important - there is no excellent placement for him, but some are better than others. If your creative venture is a creative venture you want to take a look at Venus (she rules the arts) - it is important she be well placed. Jupiter brings good luck and expansion so we do not want to waste her. I would shoot for a time when Jupiter is in the 1st, 5th, 9th or 11th house.
Who is ruling the first house? The first house represents the business. Who is ruling the 2nd house? The second house is our values and our money. Who is ruling the 10th house? The tenth house is all about our reputation and status. Who is ruling our 7th house of customers and partners - I wouldn't want Saturn hanging out there and bringing me challenging customers who make me work harder. Also check where the natural rulers of these houses have landed - that would be Mars, Venus, Saturn Capricorn & Libra.
So, how do we time the signs and houses the planets are in when we launch?
Pull an astrology chart for the date and time you are thinking of launching HERE - even if you have no knowledge of astrology or interest in learning you can read about your creation as if it is a person (not in a businesses are people kind of way, but sort of) - is this someone you would like spending time with? Does this sound like someone who would offer value to the world? Think about what you are looking to do with your new business - does this sound like someone who could do it?
Use your intuition with this.
If you are able to compare your own natal chart with this new chart it would be a huge benefit. There are astrologers online who can do this. It is a bit of work so likely won't be cheap. The truth is though, that no one knows you and what you are creating with your life and your work better than you do.
Astrology is more about what events mean than it is about predicting them; feeling charts rather than studying them.
It is the emotional journey of planet Earth we are all here for, after all.
There are no outcome guarantees with anything we do, so we always want to be moving toward what makes us happy. And obviously we can have the most spectacularly fertile ground for a launch and it we do not then water the ground, rake out the weeds and provide lots of sun and attention even the strongest seeds will not grow. It surely isn't a bad thing to check the soil first though ....
I believe the most powerful and soulful business technique we can nurture is a quiet mind.
I know from my own life when I am unbalanced and "trust my gut" I come from a place of fear (think : knots in your stomach, things we can't stomach, eyes bigger than our stomach) - I always attract exactly the crap I am trying to avoid.
When I am actively quieting my mind on a regular basis and "trust my heart" I come from a place of love (think : heartfelt, heartful, know by heart, change of heart, close to your heart) - things always go smoother. There is a total guarantee of happily ever after with this because this kind of happiness is not circumstance dependent.
Play around with the times for your location and really think about what you are looking to create within your own life with this launch - I am especially liking the days of April 4th (Friday ruled by Venus - art), April 5th (Saturday ruled by Saturn - business) and April 9th (Wednesday ruled by Mercury - communication - unless you are an over-thinker, Wednesday's child is full of woe and worry after all). Of course we still have Mars retrograde so if you can wait until he moves direct - or ideally wait until July when all the retrograde energy is past - that will be even better!
What does launch mean? Well, that is really up to you because our beliefs and intentions are key here. I once sat outside my county business office waiting for the right time to register my business name (this is inexpensive and a great way to establish a launch date, time and place). If you sell on Etsy you can certainly determine a good time to press that list button. You can not go wrong with this kind of mindfulness.
NOTE - I give this advice and all advice on this blog with my usual disclaimer:
Disclaimer - I cannot be held responsible for any actions you might take from reading any of my posts - please keep this in mind if you end up in your parents' basement obsessed with pinterest and green tea.
(unless of course, this would be an improvement over your current living situation, in which case, I take full credit)
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Sun Moves into Aries - Happy Spring Equinox Everyone!
|my Aries locket 15% off thru 4/30 with coupon code BRAVE
(after this winter weather and all these retrogrades we are really ready for spring here - Mars, Aries ruler, is retrograde until late May, so if you are still feeling a lessening of interest, initiative and enthusiasm, hang in there!)
Aries is the initiator sign - the baby being birthed from the womb of Pisces. Think about how fearless a little baby ventures into life. We all have that power within us.
Aries in our chart shows us where, in our journey, we have reached the space where we need to get braver.
Aries sun signs are here to face their fears - to learn the lesson of the warrior.
This is not the energy of the general who plans the army's every move; not the guy who thinks strategically. This is the energy of the soldier who runs into battle with his sword held high (think Braveheart's Scottish warriors with this one).
These guys may have been running to their deaths, but for their Aries energy this was more rapture than suicide.
Aries is the initiator; the first one to shrug their shoulders and jump into the untested, murky water. If Aries jumps in (now they may or may not come out alive although they probably do more than any other sign) - they have evolved, regardless of the outcome (remember we are not here for outcomes we are here for experiences, Aries energy teaches this, too).
And this jumping in is what they are here to do over and over again.
Aries growth is always found after we do "that thing we are afraid to do".
Playing it safe will never work and the space Aries resides in our natal chart is the space where it will not work for us to play it safe either.
Let's say we have Aries (or Aries natural ruler Mars) in our 7th house of partnership. Well, there are many ways this could play out to allow us to get braver. We might attract partners that embody this warrior energy and force us to be brave to stand up for ourselves and deal with them. We might have to make fearless choices within relationships. This stuff can happen in our 5th house with our children and our creative work. With Aries or Mars in our 6th house we can learn about bravery from our pets (think of Caesar Milan's calm/assertive training for pet owners for example). There are thousands of ways.
We are born with this energy and it is going to play out, but what we do with it when it does is always up to us.
With this transition into the Aquarian Age we are all experiencing the opportunity to learn more about our relationship to fear. For the next month during the Aries sun it's time for all of us to embrace our fearless warrior! xo all
MAKERS - heads up, we have an Aries new moon at the end of this month. Now, Mars will be retrograde so things started then will probably need some revisions and experience some lag times, but when Mars moves direct in late May they will really take off. Start thinking about this new moon now - Aries is great energy to initiate new stuff and this one has some powerful Jupiter and Uranus aspects that could really create some magic if we are launching something. I am going to do a post on launching our makings with astrology before the end of the month.
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Part II taking action to increase our self worth so our business draws the stuff we want to line up with - FORGIVENESS
It might look like there are many reasons we are not making enough income or we have hit an income 'ceiling' - it might look like the economy is soft or we are working hours for dollars and there are only so many hours or we don't have the money to do the thing we want to do or we didn't finish college or we didn't even go to college or the thing we are selling is only worth so much or we are burned out (there is some truth to burnout here, but often burnout comes from our not valuing ourselves enough to say when or to move on when we need to) or yada, yada, yada.
In reality maybe there is only one reason we self sabotage when we hit any kind of ceiling (unless you are in an attic like mine where standing up is only possible for 3 year olds) and that reason is fear and that fear comes from our (often unconscious) beliefs about our self worth.
Author Gay Hendricks (The Big Leap) says we know we have uncovered one of our own personal upper limits when
"a negative emotional reaction occurs when something positive enters our lives".
This may not be an exact quote since I don't have the book anymore and Google isn't pulling it up, but when I heard this years ago I knew it was big.
When something positive happens we should feel good, right?
But sometimes we don't. Sometimes we immediately start thinking something will go wrong now - this good thing won't last or we can't get this lucky without something bad happening next (this one is often the unconscious belief of money in/ money out people) or whatever thoughts come up for us that turn some positive happening into a negative emotion (and we don't want this remember those neuropeptides!).
Self sabotage will probably show up in our business lives as one side of the polarities of procrastination vs rushing things, non action vs nonstop action, perfectionism vs sloppiness, not being able to make a decision vs split second decisions we regret, distractability vs unnecessary focus on minor details, overcharging vs. undercharging, hoarding vs releasing too much -
basically extremes in our behavior based in fear that screw things up for us (if self worth is a very big issue or if we are very young, sometimes before we even really get started, but most often when we reach an unconscious upper limit ceiling).
This is the stuff that happens when we lose a bunch of weight and feel really good and start getting more attention ... and then it starts to feel totally weird. So we go to the fridge and eat a gallon of ice cream.
1. Look for recurring patterns in your life. These patterns may not show up in the same area of our life every time. They may happen all at once or many years apart. They may not look like they have anything to do with our self worth or our business or our money - it doesn't matter, just look for patterns.
2. Talk about these patterns out loud and listen to our language - the words we choose to use to explain things matters, a lot.
3. If you are interested check the astrological houses and see if there is a connection with these patterns there that might be helpful to think about
4. We know ourselves better than anyone else does - where do we think these patterns come from?
The first work toward releasing any kind of pattern is forgiveness and compassion; toward the people and situations in our past and most importantly toward ourselves.
For my job loss situation in Part I - I was mighty pissed at the injustice of the situation. I was mad I didn't get the closure I wanted and I wanted justice. When I ran into another fired ex-banker who was so angry and depressed and talking about her situation that had occurred the year before as if it had occurred yesterday, I knew life was showing me my future. I knew I wasn't going to get justice from a lawsuit. I knew the only person who could give me justice was me.
So, I looked for patterns. I listened to my language about "justice" and "closure" - I thought about other times people and situations were unjust to me, other times I faced abrupt endings without closure. I made a list. I took the time to think about each situation and person. I forgave the people connected to the current situation and all the past situations. I forgave myself.
My mantra became the powerful mantra Ho'oponopono Hawaiian practice of forgiveness and reconciliation:
"I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you. "
We say "I'm sorry" because we acknowledge our part in what is happening - trust me we do not draw big experiences without being a vibrational match for them and we become a vibrational match by agreeing to the experience (often at an unconscious level). We say "Please forgive me" because forgiveness works to release us from the energy of a memory. We say "I love you" because love is all there is and we say "Thank you" because we are truly grateful for the growth the experience gives us.
If you want to work with a Goddess on compassion - an excellent Goddess is Kuan Yin. You can say "Kuan Yin, please help me to show compassion and forgiveness with this situation!"
Note - when seeking Goddesses it helps to expect them.
It helps to soften our gaze so we might detect a slight movement in the shadows, a minute heaviness in the air around us, a breeze across our shoulders in a closed space or odd alertness in our body as though someone was standing right next to us. Trust that she is there. Just one world away from us really - nodding, prodding, laughing and encouraging.
Next up Part III why our money mindset matters - more actions to increase our self worth so our business draws the stuff we want to line up with (and I will connect this back to why it's easier to build a business if we need the money but not if we really need the money in the final part V)
Forgiveness work is a life long process. We don't have to forgive something 100% for the energy to shift and change to happen or none of us would ever move forward. Life is like a spiral and as we move up the spiral we encounter the same sticky points again and again until we clear them. This is totally OK and the way this stuff works.
Monday, March 17, 2014
why our money mindset matters (we can't draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth) - part I
Prior to making stuff for a living, I worked in a bank.
I started as a bank teller with $100 in the bank and owed $100 on a Stern's (now Macy's) credit card and left 10 years later as a vice president with $10,000 in the bank and owed $10,000 on a Citibank credit card.
I was really good at helping other people make and save and grow their money, but for me - the money came in, the money went out.
Now I always had enough money (we did buy a house somewhere in there, took our daughter to Disney World a couple times, yada yada). Hubs and I never had to fight over money (which is one of the main things couples fight about and probably one of the reasons we are still together) although I had been known to remove a price tag or two (or twenty) in secret.
I thought I had good money karma/luck - the money always came in just before I needed it. But, I always needed it.
It didn't stick.
(imagine duct tape covered with sweater lint here, but maybe not if you are eating your lunch)
Being sticky was not really on my radar. My money mindset was all about flow.
I saw money through two lenses - the lens of spirit; money as energy that needs to moving, no need to hold onto it, there is always enough for me and the lens of the bank where money comes in as deposits and moves out as loans and money is made on the difference in interest between deposits and loans and on the float.
(note - this isn't how banks make money now unfortunately, now things are a lot more risky)
I thought these lenses (is this the plural of lens - this looks so wrong) were working well for me until right around the time of my first Saturn Return - KABOOM. CRASH. JOB GONE.
Now this kaboom, crash thing that sounded like life as I knew it hitting the floor and felt like a tractor trailer to my ego wasn't really out of the blue at all. I knew I was burned out. I knew my astrology chart. I had been doing the Course in Miracles. I had been asking life to find the quickest path for me to get on about the business I was here for. I wanted to be happy. I knew I was doing exactly the kind of shit that changes things.
Once I lost my job I had no more money coming in, but I still had that pesky need to cover the money going out.
I started manifesting on the outside what I had been creating on the inside for years by giving more than I was getting.
(note - when we request help or guidance from spirit it is not incorrect to imagine the Goddesses jumping about and shouting "Oh, YES, now we've got a project!")
Everything that happens is a reflection of what we believe about ourselves. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth. We cannot outperform our level of self esteem.
I wasn't so much pissed that life kicked me in the ass as I was totally awed by the serendipity that created complete and total change. Actually, to be honest I was pissed, too.
(maybe I should rate this post R for Cat can't stop cursing today)
Technically I quit my job. In reality I signed a resignation letter human resources had prepared for me to sign in lieu of them firing me. I hired an employment lawyer and thought I would "sue the bastards" (I did rate this post R, remember). Then I unexpectedly ran into (more Goddess magic, no doubt) a woman who had been fired from the bank the year before. She was still angry and bitter and out of work. I didn't want that to be me. I un-hired the lawyer.
I also knew that this change was created by me. Even if it looked like "they did me wrong" to the outside world.
At the time I blamed burn out (and there was truth to that), but greater forces were at play here.
I was about to step into a new position within the bank that was highly visible. I had been promoted many times and always done well; leaning in to new positions, doing what had to be done, yada, yada - been there done that.
I had always worked with wealthy people. I had always worked for them in a service position though, even as a bank manager. This new position involved playing golf and having dinner with very wealthy clients, schmoozing them (can anyone really imagine me schmoozing) and becoming a peer to the bank's most senior management. When they looked at me they saw a peer because they were only seeing my outside. My inside was just a poor girl from the sticks in New Jersey. My inside didn't match my outside anymore. Something had to give.
For this promotion I would have had to outperform my own level of self esteem, which is something I now believe is just not possible.
Most people at this point get sick or self sabotage. It doesn't look like these things are conscious creations because we do this stuff unconsciously - we literally have to, we can't live with the split.
Monica Lewinsky didn't destroy Bill Clinton's reputation - his being required to outperform his self esteem did.
Self sabotage is a tricky beast because it doesn't always show up right away and it's not always easy to see the connection between what we think we want (that our self esteem is not lining up with) and the actions we are taking. A lot of people self sabotage themselves right now with the self defeating behavior of internet surfing (looking here, there and everywhere and never getting anything done). The lack of motivation and focus that are often at the center of depression have their roots in our self esteem, too (depression is the shadow side of creation, so listen up makers).
There are actionable things I have done for this (and continue to do, life is a process and I definitely don't have it all figured out) that work for me - they include forgiveness exercises, EFT, money releases, changing money habits, boundaries, the "who do we think we are stuff", astrology and more - so next post actionable stuff we can do to get our inner self to line up with the outer self we are reaching for.
(note - doing the exercises changes the outer self, too - sometimes the things we think we want are not really the stuff we are wanting)
next up Part II why our money mindset matters - taking action to increase our self worth so we draw the stuff we want to line up with (and Part III will tie this back into our businesses and why needing money is a good thing for makers)
Friday, March 14, 2014
A Full Moon in Virgo on Sunday - a good one for Butchers and Bakers and CandleStick Makers
Full Moon in Virgo on Sunday! This is the culmination of September's Virgo new moon.
With Virgo we have the archetype that holds the energy of "here is what I should be, here is what I could be and here is what I would look like if I got everything right" with the simultaneous thought "here is who I actually am" (warts and all, not that Virgos have warts, of course).
This tension of what is real and what is ideal is the fundamental tension of the Virgo archetype.
Traditionally Virgo is the sign of the servant and healer. Virgo is also the skilled craftsperson - the archetype of being good at something, of taking the time to learn and do something well.
(when Martha says "it's a good thing" she is channeling her inner Virgo, which is probably her sun sign or sits in Venus, have to look her up)
So in Virgo we gain dignity and self respect from being good at something that is useful to other people.
If you were born with your sun in Virgo this is the basic way you process life, moon in Virgo; the basic way you experience your feelings about life and if your ascendant is in Virgo; the basic way you appear to others - the mask you wear.
(people who think Virgos are fussy or nitpicky are totally missing the point and also forgetting we all have Virgo in our charts - the Virgo message of things worth doing being worth doing well and the value of these things lying within their value to others is probably the exact paradigm that will get everyone who is out of work back to work now - it is no coincidence Virgo rules the 6th house of work and health)
The Virgo full moon reminds us that we will find right work. This right work may not be something we will be paid to do. It's not about the money.
This is about being good at something that is valuable to other people.
It's not about having other people recognize our value - Virgo is the leg of our hero's journey that comes after Leo where we took center stage and got our applause. Virgo is the space where we release, at least a little bit, our need to be recognized.
*I read in the Harvard Review this week that what women want from work is social respect and what men want is complex challenges. It made me furious to realize this sexist blubber fit hubs and I exactly. I wanted to throw up and to run screaming into the night - I am just waiting for Sunday's full moon.*
At the time of the Virgo Full Moon we have this "how it is" vs "how it could be" itchiness manifest for all of us.
This is a very grounded full moon (even with our watery Pisces sun) and we are able to manifest the work and health stuff we have been working on more fully.
The full moon isn't a culmination moon exactly, although it does often bring the curtain down on some act in our story or open the door fully so we can see our next step. Think back to our Virgo New Moon intentions from September. It's a great time to take a big step toward something - the full moon reflects plenty of Pisces sun to light up our paths and will be supportive to physical action.
Lots of craziness and stress ahead in April- so enjoy this weekend. Time to howl peeps! xo all
Thursday, March 13, 2014
why it's easier to build a business when you need the money, but not when you REALLY need the money
When I was in banking the banks in my county would bid annually on the county's surrogate account money. This was money the surrogate court was holding for people who had inheritances, lawsuits, winnings, etc when the money had to be held in trust for them for some reason.
One year we won the bidding war and our bank got to invest this money, which was tens of millions of dollars, and my branch got to open and service these accounts.
We quickly noticed no matter how much investment advice and money counseling we offered the people who were receiving regular payouts from inheritances and lawsuits, they (I don't mean anyone with mental or physical disabilities here) often did not make a move to move on with their lives until their money was completely gone.
Faced with monthly statements showing their declining balances, people still had to be dead broke with the sheriff holding an eviction notice at the front door before they could wake up to the fact these payments were over. It was time to get a job.
This isn't about laziness. Sometimes we need our backs against the wall so we have something to push off against.
It works the same when we are building a business. It is hard to build a business we will care about if we do not need money because every business requires us to do stuff we don't want to do.
But it is even harder to build a business if we REALLY need the money because our decisions will be skewed by the money - it's too easy to lose track of the fact our business has to be about the value we bring to other people before that value comes back to us in the form of dollar signs in our bank account.
So, I'm going to start a new series about money and our businesses next week.
And I will be back tomorrow with my take on the Virgo Full Moon we get to experience this weekend. xo all
Thursday, March 6, 2014
5 ways to create more good for ourselves - tying this stuff into our business
I think people and situations come to us to play out in front of us the energy we are carrying. We can literally look at everything in our lives as manifesting the energies we carry.
We carry this energy through our beliefs.
Changing our beliefs is at the root of changing how things are working in our life.
This is how good stuff takes us to more good stuff and bad stuff can lead us quickly to everything falling apart.
(especially if we have spent many years and probably many lifetimes creating keyholes for the belief that creates the emotion that feels "I am not safe" - this is the real meaning of karma - the reaping what we sow and repeating what we sow labeling of a feeling)
This is why affirmations work for some people but not others. Speaking positive words and writing positive words and hearing positive words changes the space we occupy. But we can move out of that space very quickly
(think about how we can be in a great mood and then someone cuts us off in traffic and we get mad, instantly - unconsciously flashing to all the other times in our life where someone has gotten ahead of us or been faster than us or something has just come out of nowhere and put us in our place)
if that space does not line up with our beliefs.
I know makers who have literally put themselves out of business by following the advice to double their prices. Not because this is bad advice (although sometimes it is) and not because there aren't customers for their new price range but because they themselves didn't line up with their new prices!
(and I am not saying that people who make and sell more expensive items have different beliefs than people who sell inexpensive items, but if the earring fits ... )
So, to create more good for ourselves we are 1. telling our stories in the best way possible, 2. focusing on how we want to feel, 3. meditating and 4. celebrating - how does this stuff look within our business?
#1. We stop comparing our work to anyone else's work - we stop comparing our business to anyone else's business. There is not a competition going on here (and we would be comparing our inside to someone else's outside anyway).
We are all here for different things (and none of us are here to make jewelry or sweaters, trust me) - we have all been through different things - we all have different ways of looking at the world.
And the world we are seeing is manifested just for us based on the energy we are carrying.
I see the world through the lens of mythology. There was no way I would have ever given my mother the satisfaction of saying I Love Jesus, but I would have felt perfectly comfortable making her perfectly uncomfortable by talking about Athena and Lilith.
Myth is social instruction. It's story that gets handed down through the generations to teach us how to be good members of the collective. So, it's about teaching people how to behave or not behave which is why although I embrace it, I am also a little suspicious of it, too ...
(I have found the archetypes based on the myths to be as real as rain though)
We don't complain about customers, ever. It is really weird to me when people go on Facebook and complain about their customers. People who do this all the time are not doing themselves any favors. They will just be attracting, through their attention to these stories, more and more of these problem customers right into their businesses.
For the rest of us, they are doing us a favor because we get to feel how much we appreciate our own customers.
All business owners see the truth of this - we have all had that problem customer situation where everything goes wrong - first something happens and we ship late, then we realize something is wrong with what we have shipped, so we email the customer to explain and we call them Shirley instead of Susan. Ouch.
Everything goes from bad to worse.
No doubt the customer is late ordering for the birthday of someone they don't even want to shop for - this energy lines up with our distracted energy, even if we have had 100 perfect transactions that day that didn't, and we have a catastrophe in the making. Of course, if we eventually handle this situation well, that extreme energy will flip to the other extreme and the customer will become a loyal buyer for life.
The key is to be languaging any problem as a problem situation never as a problem customer.
We are not dealing with a problem customer, since there is no such thing, just a problem situation or even better a challenging situation. This way of thinking makes all the difference to the final outcome.
We tell the best stories about our business. If we can't tell good stories- we just shut up.
#2 We focus on the feel good emotions. We make a list of how we want our business to make us feel - why are we doing this thing we are doing?
Our list might include : proud, organized, responsible, independent, creative, collaborative, abundant, etc.
We read this list everyday focusing on feeling the emotion - we can just make stuff up that we need to in order to feel these emotions - studies show our brains can't tell the difference.
#3. We meditate. If we go to the post office and find - surprise, surprise - there is no line and we are in and out - close your eyes in the car and sit for 10 minutes. Waiting for our modgepodge to dry? Good time to meditate. Downloading a report, printing labels, about to make an important phone call - tell your brain "I'm not going to need you for a few minutes, my friend" and shut it down.
#4. Celebrate the good stuff - don't wait for the good stuff to happen. This is about being, not doing. Celebrate the good stuff that is coming and the good stuff we already have. Last night I celebrated my bills.
(yes, those things I used to toss on the backseat of my car and forget to pay)
I celebrated life's belief in my future earning ability. I celebrated my ability to stay open to new avenues and new ideas for abundance. I celebrated the business I have built here based on my collaboration with the companies I am now paying.
I wrote the checks with my favorite pen, used the magical new Harry Potter stamps
(yes, I request my post office order me the special stamps collectors get and then I use them)
thanked the electric company for my lights and the cable company for my beloved internet and celebrated with a vanilla soy candle and 2 episodes of Downton Abbey.
I have some astrological happening to post about - hopefully I will get that post up before the weekend. xo all
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
5 ways to create more good for ourselves - #4 celebrate the small stuff
Creating and celebrating the good stuff presents more and more opportunities to practice gratitude.
If we could practice gratitude at all times - we would be a superwoman who made our desires manifest almost instantly. If you do not believe this, practice feeling gratitude as often as possible for a while and see for yourself what happens.
It's not possible to feel grateful without feeling good.
We can feel grateful for feeling good (ie things are going our way, our bodies are healthy, etc) or we can work from the even more powerful space of feeling good by way of feeling grateful.
So, let's say we have made the decision to eat healthier and then - we eat a doughnut.
(why is spell check not allowing me to spell this glazed devil "donut" - I guess donut is just a dunkin' thing - how have I forgotten this?)
But let's say before we decided to eat healthier we would have chowed down on 3 doughnuts.
Well, we know from science that beating our self up is not a good thing. If we personalize our feelings and beliefs we are investing them with too much emotional power and our brain will be flooding our body with neuropeptides on the search for cells with keyholes labeled "I screwed up".
(this is what karma really is - the belief we put on that emotion so we can be sure we reap what we sow and so we can be sure we repeat what we sow - our beliefs create both)
Once we start feeling grateful for the little things we once called "not enough" ie - "I'm so grateful for the willpower to stop at one doughnut, YAY FOR ME" - we will know we are doing enough because we are choosing to feel grateful.
Quantum science (and spirituality) tells us that giving and receiving are really the exact same experience - they are just being viewed from two different perspectives. It's the same with all kinds of contrast.
We can even find gratitude in things we previously would have labeled "yuck" because it is the "yuck" we don't want that teaches us what we do want - this is a planet where we evolve from contrast after all. We get to make our own rules with this.
Now the step after feeling grateful is to feel great (full of great actually) - so we celebrate it.
It's best if we have someone (or a whole lot of someones) in our life we can opening brag about ourselves to - without having to apologize or toss in statements of humility. Humility can be a good thing, but for this exercise we are giving humility the boot (grab your Uggs and give him one of those drop kick corner moves we learned in soccer). If we do not have this someone, we can totally brag to ourselves, or our pets, I brag to Olive.
When I started this blog I planned to document the growth of my business along with the growth of my puppy. But I started thinking that no one would want to read about all the good stuff that happened - that I would be bragging. I thought it would be funnier to write/whine about the "bad" stuff and it was and so I did .. until I found myself looking for stuff to whine about and then more and more whine-worthy stuff started happening to me (I tried to think of this as wine-worthy stuff - since I need the corks and all, but it got harder and harder) - I realized this was not a good thing for me to be creating.
I have found a good way to celebrate is to make myself a list of rewards (3 hours at the library, 2 episodes of Downton, a movie in the middle of the day, the beach for 3 hours, a long soak, etc)
and celebrate the thing I am grateful for.
We are totally allowed to trick our self with this stuff - this isn't about earning rewards.
(school's out folks)
This is about choosing to celebrate what we are grateful for.
When my daughter was little we had all kinds of celebrations that we no longer have. Just last month both hubs and my birthdays passed almost unnoticed (by us - this isn't about other people - we were sick at the time, but we told ourselves we would party later and now we are 30 days later and still haven't celebrated). We need to take celebrating seriously if we want to see some serious results from it. I am ordering the party hats.
There are more ideas for celebrating HERE.
Up next part 5 - how to tie all this stuff into our business (yes, I sometimes remember this is a business blog) xo all
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
more reasons you should be meditating - plus sex advice, parenting advice and something sticky hits the wall
I was going to move this series on to 'celebrate good times'
(and if I just put that awesome Kool and the Gang song in your head .. you're welcome .. and if I didn't, here it is)
but I think I need another post about meditation. Because some people read the words "you should be meditating" and what they hear is "this is one more thing you need to do, why aren't you doing this - you loser you".
(and now that I write "this is one more thing you need to do" I am thinking about sex. If you are married as long as I am Dear Reader you might remember a time - maybe when your kids were little, maybe when you were working a lot, maybe last week - when sex was the last thing on your mind, but maybe it wasn't the last thing on Mr. Reader's mind - and of course, this scenario works equally well in reverse, if you, Dear Reader are the Mr. Reader.
It sort of felt like one more thing someone wanted you to do when you just wanted/needed to go to sleep. And Mr. Reader would get annoyed or resentful because often men get mad instead of sad.
Well, if you are lucky enough to still be together many years later this whole thing might have reversed itself on you - which is actually kind of cool in a way because Mr. Reader gets to experience how it feels to have one more thing someone wants him to do when he is exhausted and learn that he actually wasn't being rejected at all and you get to see that his annoyance was actually hurt feelings and understand that yes, in fact, you were rejecting him because that is exactly how you feel now.
Not that this ever happens to hubs and me, of course, but if it happens to you and especially if you are in Act 1 of this little play, it is something to think about; a new way of thinking about what the other person is actually experiencing - just don't think about it while you are meditating.)
Back to this meditation message - it can be annoying. I get it. Because when I am meditating I can't believe I ever let my practice slip ... and then I let my practice slip.
I don't think that will happen this time though - I think my practice is really sticky this time. It's meditate or medicate this time.
(remember those things we threw on the wall as kids and they slithered down the wall, sticky like that - and if you are thinking I mean slinkys, I do not mean slinkys, I mean the sticky, gummy things not the metal spiral things but if you were throwing your slinkys against the wall - you really need to be meditating, so listen up)
One of the ways you will know you need to meditate is when you start doing some really inefficient unconscious meditating.
This is otherwise known as "spacing out".
You drive to work and do not remember those last 11 miles or you find your car keys in the freezer next to your wallet or you intend to drive to the post office and end up 5 miles past the post office before you realize what you are doing.
If you are absent minded, spacey or confused - get yourself to a meditation cushion now.
You are full. You need to release all the stuff you are carrying; the stuff that has glommed onto you from other people and plenty of your own stuff, too. Meditation will release this stuff for you. I promise.
(someone recently said to me "I keep releasing, releasing, releasing, when do I get to keep anything?" Ha! She cracked me up - then I said "Oh really, what exactly have you released?" And she proceeded to tell me about the closets she'd emptied and the attic she cleaned out. And I said, "Great!" then I said, because I know she is very vocal about her grown son making choices she does not agree with, "releasing is also about letting go of trying to control people and letting go is about accepting other people's choices" - she got quiet, then told me she had some more closets to empty ... which is OK, of course, everything in its own time - this is a process and creating physical space is always a good thing.)
HERE are 20 more reasons to meditate.
Nemetona is the Celtic Goddess who protected ancient ceremonial sites. We can connect with her energy to build an altar in our home; a little place of retreat and refuge for yourself ....
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Sunday, March 01, 2009
Dollhouse, "Stage Fright": Suicide by stalk
When a network sends out a bunch of review episodes of a show but skips over one in the middle, it either means the missing episode wasn't close enough to completion to send out (due to F/X work, or reshoots, or other post-production issues), or else it wasn't very good and the network doesn't want critics factoring it into their judgment. "Stage Fright" was the only one of the first four "Dollhouse"s that I didn't see in advance, and now I understand why.
Even more than the pilot and all its plausibility issues, "Stage Fright" illustrated why this maybe isn't a great concept for a long-term series. It's frustrating enough when we have to follow Echo on a mission when she has no idea who she really is, but this one added an additional layer of self-deception: Echo not only doesn't know that she's really Caroline, but she doesn't know that she's really there as the singer's bodyguard. I felt even less connection to her than I usually do, and as the episode kept the supporting cast off-screen even more than before, I found myself wondering why I was watching a bland psycho-drama about a generic Rihanna/Beyonce wannabe. Other than isolated moments -- Eliza Dushku showing she can sing, Tahmoh Penikett reminding us that he can kick ass -- it was a chore to get through.
Dushku's been promising that the show gets much better with episode 6, which jibes with what Joss Whedon told me in our interview. And certainly, "Dollhouse" wouldn't be the first sci-fi show -- or Joss Whedon show -- to need a little while to get its footing, or just to get past that lame "Let's repeat the pilot five or six times in a row in the increasingly unlikely event that new viewers are sampling the show for the first time" phase. So I'm not giving up yet. But it feels like there are much deeper problems at the foundation of this series than there were with, say, "Angel" or "Journeyman."
What did everybody else think?
56 comments:
- Karen said...
I thought that showing that much skin throughout the entire episode was a cover for bad writing. It cheapened the whole thing.
I did like the revelation about Victor, though.
- 8:34 AM, March 01, 2009
- Alan Sepinwall said...
I did like the revelation about Victor, though.
I think that's one that would've worked for me if they hadn't included the actor in all the publicity stills dressed as an active. If you managed to miss that and thought he really was a Russian mobster, I imagine it was pretty cool.
- 8:44 AM, March 01, 2009
- Ryan said...
I think there's fun potential. Just not in what they're doing.
The operations of the Dollhouse is much more interesting than any "missions" the actives go on.
And I got a weird vibe when Reed Diamond confronted the scientist guy that maybe all the higher-ups our just actives themselves. I'm thinking creepy-boy may have created a company to use his tech for him.
Also, adding some Fringe like super-science or shadowy companies outside of what's happening at Dollhouse would, I think, go a lot further in stretching the plausibility of this so-far set in the real world situation.
- 8:55 AM, March 01, 2009
- James said...
I liked the episode - maybe it's because I can't suspend my disbelief and buy into Dushku being a totally different character each time they download a personality into her head - so instead of not caring about her as she's successfully been a negotiator, a rock climber and a back up singer, I've cared about Echo, who seems to have a nice girl acting like those three things.
Instead of a brand new character each week, I've been watching a more scifi version of Alias.
- 9:16 AM, March 01, 2009
- David said...
I gave up early in episode two. If episode six air, I may give it another try ... maybe.
- 9:16 AM, March 01, 2009
- bill said...
What did everybody else think?
I think if this was on Showtime or HBO, the only purpose of the plots would be to get the women unaddressed as quickly as possible.
- 9:24 AM, March 01, 2009
- bill said...
or undressed, even.
- 9:25 AM, March 01, 2009
Fox should've picked this or T:TSCC and focused their attention on it. Now both of these shows are looking increasingly likely to be cancelled. Which is a shame because T:TSCC was a good premise and the first season showed it was a well exectued one aswell. Now if Fox continue to allow these shows creators to go off on tangents that please very few viewers, they are going to find themselves showing only "reality" shows.
I'm from UK btw, so if I've missed anything major out, it's probably because I don't live in the US.
- 9:38 AM, March 01, 2009
- joy said...
I am hanging on by a thread to this show, and really only because of you and a couple of other reviewers.
Everyone keeps promising episode six will be where it gets good. But, it's increasingly hard to sit through these early episodes.
I've never been a fan of Eliza Dushku, but when she's in her element, she's not bad. Clearly, this role (roles?) is not her element...and it's almost painful to watch.
Also, it just feels like the gratuitous T&A is meant to distract the boys...it's almost unworthy of Joss, but more like the producer boys from Las Vegas. (Mind you, this would probably be ok...if they'd give us equal time with Tamoh.)
- 9:54 AM, March 01, 2009
- Anthony Foglia said...
Alan wrote, Re: Victor, I think that's one that would've worked for me if they hadn't included the actor in all the publicity stills dressed as an active. If you managed to miss that and thought he really was a Russian mobster, I imagine it was pretty cool.
I saw the stills but when there was no reveal at the end of the first episode, I started to think the photo was wrong. And now we have to ask why the Russian mob is using dolls to fill its ranks.
At least there's nothing else on at the same time...
- 10:06 AM, March 01, 2009
- michael said...
I'm friends with a few Whedonmaniacs, so I'll let them watch episode 6 and let me know if it's worth coming back to. Until then, like Cartman, I'm getting the fudge out.
- 10:14 AM, March 01, 2009
I actually am a Whedonmaniac, but I'm finding this show tough to stick with. (Also, the two-hour lead-in to BSG, while only three more weeks long, is hard on the eyes and the head - and when it was over on Friday, all I could think of was what had happened in BSG - the other two shows had basically been wiped from my memory. Uh, so to speak.) And yeah, lots of female skin being shown for no compelling plot or character reason that I can fathom.
Totally had me about Victor, though - I hadn't seen the promo shots and didn't see it coming.
- 10:35 AM, March 01, 2009
- LAP said...
I was actually sort of excited by this episode, based on the fact that they really pulled the Ballard story into things, which was something I was worried about- that it would continue to serve as a distraction rather than become a bigger part of the plot. The Victor revelation completely worked for me as well. It was the first episode that ended with me being excited for the next one instead of wondering when it would start to feel like Joss.
- 11:10 AM, March 01, 2009
The only episode I thought was remotely interesting was the second episode.
But, I remember not really liking Buffy or Angel in the first handful of episodes, so despite a lukewarm feeling I've had watching, I'd probably still bow down to the powers of Whedon and keep on watching. Though I am hoping it really would get better.
- 11:11 AM, March 01, 2009
- Pamela Jaye said...
before I read this, I'd like to say that i like the show more after ep 2 and i really think that ep 2 should have been the pilot (and if it *was* and was aired second due to Fox, then Fox continues to be stupid)
I've alread y forgotten the premise of this week's ep but I liked it well enough.
A show can grab me with mysteries - the Pretender did - just as long as I have a hope of getting an answer in the end. (the Pretender had two movies and *still* couldn't help but make the mysteries deeper)
- 11:27 AM, March 01, 2009
I still can't get paast the premise: why does anyone need to hire someone from the Dollhouse? Daughter kidnapped? My first instinct would be to go to the authorities. Pop singer in jeopardy? I wouldn't hire a fake singer with a hidden agenda to solve the problem.
No matter how much explaining they do, I'm having a hard time buying into the premise.
Additionally, if every mission provides some sort of glitch for the active's programming, then isn't the whole show's already weak premise even harder to buy into as a viewer?
Maybe I just don't get it.
- 11:42 AM, March 01, 2009
- joy said...
I agree with Gayle. Why call the Dollhouse when you're in trouble? Also, why can't Ballard just pretend he has a problem and find them? Everyone else seems to. (That's probably a plotpoint that I've missed, in my paying only half-attention to it, I bet.)
- 11:59 AM, March 01, 2009
The justification for her being the bodyguard was there, pretty lame but there. It makes sense that you wouldn't get authorities involved in kidnappings when directed not to, and provided you had the money/knew about the place, the Dollhouse is plausible, though Dushku being the operative is a stretch, even if Echo is the 'best' operative they have.
The main flaw, as Ryan states, is that the assignments are by far the least interesting aspect of the show. However, by virtue of the fact that it is Dushku and Echo's show, I can't see it veering too far from that boring structure.
If 6 changes the status-quo completely, and it no longer becomes a show built around some interesting background stuff with a crappy central storytelling, strand I will be happy. The question then becomes, why on earth did they ever start out like this in the first place?
- 12:11 PM, March 01, 2009
I'm not a big fan of the premise, since I can come up with about half a dozen ways that the basic concept of people getting abilities/personalities implanted could have been done better, but I thought this episode was the best by far.
We had the FBI agent actually doing stuff, finally giving the audience a character to root for. We had small but nice moments for the overall narrative, like Victor being an active, Echo deciding to protect her friend despite her programming as Jordan, and Boyd and Dr. Fred becoming friends. The dialogue was also snappier than it had been in the past. Particularly the genius guy who seems like he is supposed to be the funny, sarcastic character but was mostly just annoying to this point. His commenting that of course Boyd and Dr. Fred would be friends and would then have "scowly" children and his telling off the Dominic guy that he is a genius and Dominic is a security guard in a nice suit, followed by his admission "Wow, that does sound kind of bad" were both the kind of dialogue I was expecting from a Whedon show. And finally the moment at the end between Boyd and Dr. Fred about how Echo is special and how that is a bad thing. The first two episodes mildly entertained me, while this one not only entertained me but actually made me want more.
I still feel that this premise was poorly developed and because of that the show is not going to last. However, give me more episodes like this and I will actually be sad about that.
- 12:17 PM, March 01, 2009
- bsangs said...
What I think is that I'm done. This is beyond bad TV. I can look at ED pictures on the net, since the eye-candy is the only thing worth watching. Plus, with these dismal ratings, it won't be around long. Yet another flop from the alleged genius.
- 12:43 PM, March 01, 2009
- Michael Cowgill said...
I've been going along with the show so far, and I didn't have a problem with this episode. It turned some cliches in different directions and gave some more insight into Echo's potential. I also liked the little moment between Echo and Sierra at the end, as well as the Victor reveal (I hadn't seen or paid attention to promo photos). My empathy for Echo comes from seeing her in a situation (the Dollhouse) that seems questionable at best, wanting here to get out of it. I'm also intrigued by the possibility the Alpha character sets up for her -- freeing herself from the Dollhouse but not by becoming who she was but some amalgam of who she's been as an active. Would she become a new person or the potential person inside who she used to be?
The show is far from perfect, and I'm encouraged by the talk of episode 6 on, but I think it's far from a train wreck, too.
- 12:48 PM, March 01, 2009
This show is really disappointing. It's even more disappointing because it's from Joss Whedon.
Firefly is easily one of my favorite shows of all time, and Serenity is easily one of my favorite science fiction films ever.
This show doesn't even come close to approaching the quality of Firefly. In fact, the only reason I'm still watching is because it IS Joss Whedon. If somebody else was behind this show I doubt I would have even watched the second episode.
- 1:33 PM, March 01, 2009
- Byron said...
I didn't actually think this episode was that bad, but I've said since the show's premise was announced, that this is cannot be the real premise, and that sometime soon this is all going to blow up. Like the Alias pilot.
- 2:16 PM, March 01, 2009
- Mrglass said...
Dollhouse is probably the best soft porn/sci-fi series ever. Although it is the only soft porn/sci-fi series I can think of.
I really want to like this show. The actors/models are great, the cinematography is fantastic, and some of the dialogue is hilarious. But like everybody else said, the premise is just stupid.
You can't build a show around a character if that character is completely uninteresting. People watch 'House' because of Gregory House, and 'The Mentalist' because of Patrick Jane. 'Dollhouse' is similarly built on Echo, but Echo doesn't even exist, she doesn't have a personality or a purpose.
All this talk about just-wait-for-episode-6! reminds me of the desperate attempts from 'Heroes' creators to pimp their latest season, because it is so much better this time!
Oh well, I was still impressed by Dushku's singing abilities.
- 2:35 PM, March 01, 2009
- Zack Smith said...
Is it just me, or is Dichen Lachman (Sirra), better at this doll thing than Eliza Dushku? I get three vibes from Dushku -- Faith, Missy and little girl. Lachman, on the other hand, has done pretty well in brief stretches as the gun-toting assassin and nervous fan. The audition sides released for the show had some complicated monologues for Sierra, so I'm looking forward to what's in store for her. It might just be that I find her more interesting because, unlike Dushku, I have no previous impression of this actress, and it's easier to see her fit into different roles.
Overall, this installment felt like it could have been on any show. A few different scenes and no Dollhouse, and it could have been a very thin film script. Again, the assignment is the least interesting part of the show, though I found some of the Whedon-songs mildly amusing.
Spoiled on the Victor thing, though it was well-handled; the scene with him and Ballard at the party came from the original pilot script. It looks like they're probably going to cannibalize bits of that, as opposed to airing it later in the run.
This has until episode 6...
- 2:47 PM, March 01, 2009
- Stef said...
I totally agree with Archie Goodwin above. I didn't know about the Victor reveal, so that was a nice surprise. I thought this was the best ep of the 3 so far, but the "assignments of the week" just keep stretching the whole Dollhouse premise. As others have said, maybe it would be better if the big ep 6 turnaround would be along the lines of Sidney taking down SD-6. Get rid of the problem element of the show, but keep the stuff that's interesting. The Alpha mystery and the Ballard stuff have real potential, as well as the mystery of why dolls join the Dollhouse and what happens to them psychologically. But the missions? Eh.
FYI, Eliza D. just happens to be in the movie I'm watching right now, an indie with Alan Rickman called "Bottle Shock." She's playing sassy bartender chick so far. It appears she's done two films with Rickman lately.
- 3:44 PM, March 01, 2009
- Mrglass said...
Allow me to disagree with people who say the Superbowl episode of 'Alias', when SD-6 was attacked and destroyed, was a success. On the opposite, I think that show got worse and worse after that.
The thing is, Sidney was an engaging and interesting character. She was working for bad guys, and she didn't know it, but at least her actions were consistent. Echo, on the other hand, is a void. End the Dollhouse organization and what do you get from Echo? Nobody knows, even after three episodes.
- 3:56 PM, March 01, 2009
Alias is actually an interesting comparison. Jennifer Garner and her character of Sydney Bristow were far more engaging than anyone in The Dollhouse has to offer. The plots may have been convoluted as hell, but at least J.J. Abrams set a premise that was plausible in the fictional world in which Alias was set.
For that matter, if The Dollhouse didn't have outside clients dictating the personas for each "mission" but instead had the proprietors of The Dollhouse manipulating their employees for their own means (good or bad), it would at least be a lot easier to accept.
- 4:59 PM, March 01, 2009
- Corvus Imbrifer said...
I sadly take my seat next to Gayle and Joy, as I'm finding the premise an obstacle as well. The mission in this episode had Echo on stage with a hyooooge pop star. Is the FBI that incompetant or is the Dollhouse boss that incompetant? Echo was on full view, in front of a mob of camera-wielding fans. She dealt with the staff and entourage. Doesn't that leave her secret identity rather exposed? An attempted murder investigation is in progress and two witnesses just vanish? Did the manager not actually call the police? How is that remotely possible? It's the only way the last scene could have been played out, with the handlers strolling in and out again with the witnesses.
The notion that 'it all points to Echo' kinda doesn't, so I'm not seeing the 'Echo is special' line the show is presenting. Alpha is already off the reservation, Sierra is apparently borderline, so it all points to Creepy Mad Genius' technology not being as foolproof as one would expect. Not that one would expect memory replacement technology to be foolproof. Which, duh. Of course it's going to be glitchy! If the writing wants us to think there's something heroically indelible about her (Caroline) then we need to see Caroline. About whom I do not yet care (she seemed a bit daffy).
So much as I'd like to, I'm stuck on some details. I'm trying, Mr Whedon, really I am. My love for Amy Acker is unshaken, but plot has to come first. The weak spots are only getting more obvious, and venal tittilation doesn't distract me.
P.S.: Victor didn't surprise me as much as I'd have liked. Even if the promo monkeys hadn't babbled, his name was a give-away.
P.P.S.: "Dr Fred." Thanks, Archie.
P.P.P.S.: Who I'm really suspicious of: Ballard's pining neighbor. She's evil.
- 5:25 PM, March 01, 2009
- Pamela Jaye said...
since you mentioned Journeyman, i'd like to note that
a. i loved Journeyman
b. the ep of Life on Mars i watched last night had a confusingly similar doomed rockstar/bodyguard thing going on, which reminded me of at least two eps of Quantum Leap and the most fun in it was seeing Maggie Siff recur (yes since you aren't watching, I'm behind (as with Boston Legal)
- 5:27 PM, March 01, 2009
- Pamela Jaye said...
hey guys, great news! i avoided all publicity stills (Shonda taught me well) and i was surprised
- 5:29 PM, March 01, 2009
- Peter D Bakija said...
See, here is the thing that it seems like a lot of folks don't seem to be getting about Dollhouse. If this show is going to go anywhere (and if I have any understanding of how Whedon works by now), the highly creepy apparent premise of the show (i.e. Echo as a high tech hooker ninja with no personality, and all the main non Dushku characters being reprehensible except for Boyd and Dr. Fred) is all just set up. And by episode 6 or 7, Echo and Boyd are going to be out of the Dollhouse and on the run, and Echo is going to be a "normal" person (well, presumably with residual super powers) trying to get away from The Dollhouse, who will be the actual villains of the series. Kind of like The Fugitive. But hot.
Except the show will have been cancelled by then.
- 7:09 PM, March 01, 2009
- LoopyChew said...
@Corvus: Holy crap! I didn't even think about that. In retrospect, probably because Victor is his assumed persona's name and we don't actually know what name he was given in the Dollhouse. But damn, that's a pretty good observation.
I still preferred The Most Dangerous Middleman to this one, but I did enjoy it more than the pilot.
I'll stick through episode 6, and maybe even one or two after that, assuming it's still around by then.
- 7:10 PM, March 01, 2009
I kept waiting for the singer to turn out to be an active that was cracking under the strain of prolonged programming.
I didn't understand the purpose of sending Sierra to take focus off the singer, but not give her the ability to handle him if he went for the bait. Surely the dolls aren't quite that disposable.
- 8:15 PM, March 01, 2009
The show doesn't have the feel of Whedon's past shows. It lacks the witty dialog and plot lines. It feels like a Foxified version of a Whedon idea.
The original pilot Echo was never aired and will never be aired unless leaked. It got revised 6 or so times and still didn't match with Fox's vision and by the final edit it didn't make follow other elements of the show.
If this were on showtime or hbo it'd probably be a much more darker dramatic tv show then what we're seeing here. It'd probably make a lot more sense and be less about the stand alone action episodes and more about the characters.
While Whedon defends his current relationship it doesn't seem too different then the one on Firefly-a major disagreement on how the show should be. If anything it sounds as if Whedon has lost some of will to fight and is compromising which is all dandy, one has to make a dollar, but sucks for good tv.
- 8:19 PM, March 01, 2009
While the general premise of the episode was kinda bland, I did very much like the direction things took towards the end: when Echo went beyond the mission parameters and attacked the mission in a completely different way. It suggested a level of self-awareness, and it was fun to see her rattle cages.
- 8:37 PM, March 01, 2009
- Stef said...
Peter D. - I hope you're right. That's the kind of thing I was thinking about when I related it to Sydney and SD-6 - not necessarily that Echo needs to destroy the Dollhouse (it is indeed the name of the show) but that her relationship to it needs to fundamentally change. How can we root for her and Boyd (and Dr. Fred?) if they continue to work for such a shady place? But if they start to work against it, they become heroes again and the whole show will feel better to watch. If that's the direction it's going, I'm all for it and hope FOX stays out of the way.
- 9:04 PM, March 01, 2009
- The_Brain said...
I think the first episodes are supposed to show the life of Echo as an active "in submission", maybe after some time, she and some others will rebel. As seen in "Target" and "Stage Fright", we are given subtle hints of her forcoming awareness of her situation especially when she is deprogrammed at the end.
However, I'm a bit disappointed by the first episodes....
But then again, my opinion is kinda biased because I'm a Whedon fan, he hasn't let me down in the past, so I have faith in the show to be better in later episodes...
- 9:26 PM, March 01, 2009
- Therem said...
I totally disagree with your take on this one, Alan. It was my favorite of the three Dollhouse eps aired so far, and that was largely because of the centrality of female characters and their point of view -- something that isn't too common in Hollywood productions, but is somewhat more prevalent in Joss Whedon's work. I was pleased to see that Maurissa Tanchareon (of Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog) was one of the writers; I give credit to her and her partner, Jed Whedon.
I spent today reading some commentary on this episode, and I was surprised to see it savaged by so many people. Generally I agree with your assessments of shows I follow, particularly Battlestar Galactica, so I was surprised to see you so down on this episode. I thought it had quite a few divergences from what was expected in a plot like this, and that it fit quite well with the depiction of the Dollhouse and the whole theme of personalities put on to make money and impress a crowd.
Maybe the real problem with this show's premise is that most of the audience is not going to be happy to see their role in the star/fan diad critiqued?
- 9:29 PM, March 01, 2009
So I'm not giving up yet.
I am, at least until Ep 6. This show, as it's aired so far, is a bore. I mean, I saw a pretty implausible film today ("Taken"), but at least it had a lot of stuff in it that held my interest (okay, it had Liam Neeson kicking serious ass). "Dollhouse," OTOH, is like a visual sleeping pill.
- 10:58 PM, March 01, 2009
- Jennifer said...
Eh, I didn't think it was too bad. Liked the Victor reveal- I was expecting Mellie/Nellie (which is it?) to be a reveal, but maybe that comes later. I liked that Rayna was a Death Seeker type and how Jordan/Echo used that information. Clever girl, indeed. And I can see how a very undercover bodyguard could work given the situation- though then I wish they hadn't pointed out that a whole mess of new bodyguards had been hired recently too. Way to undermine!
I do wonder about that little "no no, not now, we're being watched" look Echo gave Sierra at the end.
- 12:26 AM, March 02, 2009
- Mrglass said...
Echo as a high tech hooker ninja with no personality
Hah! I don't know if this was Whedon's actual pitch to FOX, but it very accurately sums up the series, so far.
Presumably something happens at episode 6, but it probably won't improve things that much, and in any case the show will be canceled quite soon.
- 12:33 AM, March 02, 2009
I didn't understand the purpose of sending Sierra to take focus off the singer, but not give her the ability to handle him if he went for the bait. Surely the dolls aren't quite that disposable.
Isn't she the second (or third, or whichever) Sierra, though? I'm not saying they're disposable, but apparently, they are replaceable.
- 12:37 AM, March 02, 2009
@ Peter D Bakija
So Dollhouse is going to change from an Alias rip-off to a Dark Angel rip-off? Pure genius!
- 5:36 AM, March 02, 2009
- Cagey said...
Last week, I mentioned this show was a guilty pleasure for me. Now? You can rip the "pleasure" out of that statement. I will continue with it, but am really tempted to go underground with my viewing so my husband doesn't know I am watching such a hot mess of Lame.
- 7:42 AM, March 02, 2009
- Peter D Bakija said...
Yeah, see, especially now after going and reading Dushku's interviews on the show, I'm strongly convinced that the show is going to take a significatly different direction soon; all these early episodes are set up. The reason the computer geek guy (who is not the Xander/Wash character; he is the Warren character...) is so creepy is 'cause he is not a good guy.
So yeah, it might have shades of Dark Angel (which in turn only existed 'cause of Buffy), but it is, if things play out as I hope, going to be a better show than it initially appears to be.
- 9:21 AM, March 02, 2009
Due to the promo monkeys, the Victor reveal didn't do anything for me either. It's not like I went looking for spoilers. The promos came to me. So, I feel ripped off and pissed about missing the one potentially good thing about the show.
I also didn't buy the premise of the bodyguards-who-didn't-know-they-were story line.
I love the score. Very Twin Peaks-y.
Dollhouse as a train wreck is fascinating though. How did this poorly conceived show get the ok? If things are going to significantly change after ep six, what was Joss thinking? That the audience would watch really bad tv for hours and hours, and then when the show changed, be grateful? How can Joss hope the audience will stick around to ep six? Is he simply changing things, beyond the pilot, as he goes? Was he secretly taken over by a pod person? For a man with his experience, I am shocked that he is behind Dollhouse. This needs to be an E! True Hollywood Story.
- 12:37 PM, March 02, 2009
If things are going to significantly change after ep six, what was Joss thinking? That the audience would watch really bad tv for hours and hours, and then when the show changed, be grateful?
I know people like that. When ST:TNG started, one of my friends would do nothing but complain about it--for two years! I guess it got better in year three because he started to love the show after that. I could barely stick with it for a few eps, let alone two years. But there are people out there who are willing.
- 1:51 PM, March 02, 2009
Yes, and then when it gets to episode 6 they will say it gets better around episode 10. And then when we get to episode 10...
It's the old Heroes trick. Come on, Alan, you're smarter than this.
This show stinks!
- 3:08 PM, March 02, 2009
MrGlass said: "Dollhouse is probably the best soft porn/sci-fi series ever. Although it is the only soft porn/sci-fi series I can think of."
I told you Joss was no feminist!
- 3:34 PM, March 02, 2009
Further proof Joss ain't no feminist:
Karen said, "And yeah, lots of female skin being shown for no compelling plot or character reason that I can fathom."
- 7:11 PM, March 02, 2009
MrGlass said: "Dollhouse is probably the best soft porn/sci-fi series ever. Although it is the only soft porn/sci-fi series I can think of."
What about "Emmanuelle in Space"?
- 8:08 PM, March 02, 2009
- tabernacle said...
Huh. I experienced no epiphanies or gestalt switches or paradigm shifts or anything, but I think, incrementally, the show has managed to hook me in. Yeah, I'm in for however many seasons.
Re: Victor's being an active: keep a lookout for anyone called Mike, Romeo, Oscar, or Charlie. Adriana Lima should guest-star as "Lima".
The ED school of acting: throw your palms up while keeping your elbows pressed to your sides.
Superficial comment: I don't mind the soft-porn aspect of the show--but it does help if the people involved all have waists.
Does anyone know if Tahmoh Penikett had any CGI/wirefu assistance when he did that superman punch while kickboxing a few eps back?
- 4:01 AM, March 03, 2009
- Redsmom said...
Been a Joss Fan for years - don't know what happened here, except to say always remember the original Buffy movie was a big flop, so flops are very possible with Joss.
For this show, I can't suspend disbeleif. Usually I get so wrapped up in a good show I don't think of the plot holes until someone else points them out. In this show, the plot holes won't be quiet long enough for me to enjoy it.
- 3:02 PM, March 05, 2009
- Michael said...
Soft Porn without even a nipple showen... you just know wen your talking to americans. ;-)
I just saw the first three episodes in one sitting... while i did not feel anything groundbraking nothing drove me away from consuming it.
Than again i seem to have kind of a different tast on TV than most other people seem to... no one in Germany seems to like The Shield... i think BSG turned bad after Season 2 and Lost is mind numbering stupid... yet still people keep on raving about this stuff.
- 7:06 PM, March 05, 2009
Even though everyone seems to loathe My Own Worst Enemy and this show being compared to it, there is one comparison that is fair. Christian Slater had the "different personality, same person" thing down to a science, something Ms. Dushku has yet to be able to really do.
Slater made it easy to tell when it was Henry and when it was Edward because each had a certain way of talking, a certain of moving, and each had their own tic. You could tell they were different people.
What Dushku needs to do is give each new personality she's given something specific that makes us believe this is a new person, you know? She hasn't really done that yet.
- 2:14 PM, March 07, 2009


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AOL buys wireless technology company
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