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Things that Cross the Road
Successful Attempts and Epic Fails
Has the following ever happened to you? Have you ever driven home, your heart racing and your knuckles white from gripping the steering wheel, and pull into your driveway, just to sit there for about ten minutes, the engine running, as you stare blindly at your garage door? And then you finally get out, feeling numb, and you go inside your house and get in the shower, not even bothering to take off your clothes first? And then you sit down in the bottom of the tub, hugging your knees to your chest, and you start rocking back and forth, while muttering, "Why? Oh, dear God, why? Why did the chicken cross the road?" Was it fate that placed that chicken under your tire? Was it just chaos, or a sequence of carefully planned events? Did you murder the chicken, or did the chicken commit suicide? Very deep questions. But none of the answers matter, really, because you're scared to death and scarred for life. You've just murdered something. You go out and grab the garden hose, wash the undercarriage of your car and get rid of all the feathers and ketchup. You tell yourself it's ketchup, because you don't want to faint. But even after you get rid of all the evidence, you still feel like the chicken left some very noticeable damage. The entire front of your car looks caved in. You start to panic. What if someone notices? You make a hasty decision and drive your car over to the rock quarry, and then you put it in neutral, get out, and push the car over the edge and into the dark water, thus getting rid of the murder weapon. And then... (continued at the end)
Here's a short list of different things that you might see crossing the road.
Chickens cross the road, that's a fact of life. It's just that nobody knows why. There was this guy who climbed a really high mountain, just to talk to a hermit that lived in a cave up there. This hermit had been born in that cave and lived his entire life there, and he was very wise. He had the answer to everything. So the guy went to visit the hermit and the hermit offered him a bowl of soup. After he ate the soup, he asked the hermit why the chicken crossed the road. The hermit asked him what a chicken was. He'd never even seen a chicken, because the hermit was also blind, as well as very wise. The guy tried to describe what a chicken was to the hermit. A domestic fowl, usually with brown or black feathers and a fleshy crest on its head. The hermit shook his head and repeated his question. What is a chicken? The guy didn't know how else to explain a chicken, so he was silent. A chicken is someone who is afraid, the hermit pointed out. If this chicken crossed the road, then it wasn't showing fear, which wouldn't make it a chicken at all, now would it? The guy couldn't argue with that logic. And then he fell over dead, because the soup that the hermit had given him had been poisoned. Moral of the story? Don't seek advice from hermits in caves, or you will be poisoned and the hermit will eat your remains.
Possums cross the road, even opossums. But unlike the chicken, if the possum thinks it's going to get ran over, it'll play dead. Why? Because it's smart. It knows that people swerve to avoid hitting dead things in the road, whereas they only slow down when they see something that's alive. It'll play dead in the middle of the road, and then it'll get back up and finish the crossing after traffic has cleared.
Deer are very unpredictable. If they see a vehicle approaching, they'll stand still for a moment, and then they'll start running parallel to the road. Why? I don't know, I'm not a deer. But at that moment that the deer and the vehicle are neck-to-neck, that deer will try to cross the road. It sees the danger, and yet it still decides to leave the safety of the side of the road to try and dash to the other side. I think it's because deer panic. They see you driving on their side of the road, so they try to get over to the other side where you're not driving, but they do it at the worst possible time. And sometimes they don't make it. They're horrible decision makers. And then there's those deer that just stand in the middle of the road and stare into the headlights of oncoming vehicles with wide eyes. They're standing there, trying to remember what they're supposed to do in that situation. Finally, they just get out of the way, feeling all awkward and embarrassed. I think it's the same feeling that people get when they're sitting at a traffic light that's turned green, but they haven't noticed, and then the person behind them honks their horn, as if to say, "Hey, idiot. It's green. Get the hell out of my way." And then that person realizes their mistake and takes off, feeling all sheepish. Or deerish, I should say, because sheep don't cross the road and won't even have a mention in this article. I'm sure they cross the roads down in New Zealand or wherever they grow sheep, but not over here, so I don't have to worry about that.
Turtles cross the road. That's a big decision for a turtle, because it knows that it's going to take a couple of hours to get to the other side, so it makes damn sure that it wants to go over there. And that's a couple of hours that the turtle will spend trying to dodge traffic. Like the possum, the turtle has a defense mechanism for escaping death on the road. It goes into its shell. Why? Because a turtle's shell is like a bomb shelter. It can withstand anything. That's what the turtle thinks, anyway. It can withstand a nuke. Have you ever looked in a turtle's shell, before? It has bottled water in there, some MREs, a battery-operated radio---just whatever it'd need to survive a nuclear war. But that shell's defenseless against a simple rubber tire with 32 pounds of air in it. One day, turtles will come out with a better shell. One that can shoot missiles at any vehicles that threaten to run over it. Maybe even surface to air missiles. Maybe it'll even get Wi-Fi, so that it can surf the web. Maybe it'll even be a Hybrid shell that'll run on electricity, so that the turtle doesn't actually have to use its legs to move.
Snails cross the road. The question naturally arises: why bother? It'd take some serious commitment for that snail to get to the other side. Maybe 3 years? By the time the snail makes it halfway across, that road might not even be there, anymore. It might get repaved. Turned into a four lane. Can you imagine how upset that snail would be, if it got halfway across a two lane road, only to find out that it'd been turned into a four lane road, and now the snail's only a third of the way across? That'd suck. It keeps crossing and they keep adding lanes to the road, all the while the snail's been hiding in small cracks in the asphalt to avoid getting ran over, but it never reaches the other side, because the road just keeps getting wider. It's like a bad dream that just doesn't end. And the snail's fighting rain, and sleet, and snow, and cigarette butts, and it finally gets to the other side of the road, only to get eaten by a chicken that crossed the road in under ten seconds. And then the chicken runs back into the road and gets ran over, and then the snail crawls out of the chicken's throat and starts the slow process of crossing the road again, more determined than ever. But that's 3 years in the life of a snail.
Jaywalkers cross the road. A jaywalker is a person who crosses the road carelessly, instead of at a designated crossing lane. Sometimes jaywalkers get ran over. Why? Because they think they have what is called the right of way. They think that since they're people and they're walking, then vehicles should slow down and let them pass. This would be the case at the designated crossing place or at a pedestrian crosswalk. But what makes people think that they have the right of way against something that can run them over? If something much bigger then you is barreling in your direction, you do not have the right away. You have the right to die, that's all you've got. You can't get in the way of progress or machines with rapid acceleration. Maybe jaywalkers do it as a statement, like those people that lie down in front of tanks.
Trains cross the road. If you see one of these crossing the road in front of you, then you need to slow down and/or come to a complete stop, because these things do have the right of way. No one's ever successfully run over a train.
Vultures don't cross the road, they just eat the things that do. They don't care why the chicken crossed the road, or the possum, or the deer, or the turtle, or the jaywalker. They don't care too much for snails, because there's really nothing tasty about a squished snail, and the vulture doesn't want to go through the snail's gooey remains and pick out the little pieces of broken shell. So the vulture is the only one who benefits from failed road crossings. Of course, there's also some types of people that'll stop and pick up a dead animal on the side of the road for eating purposes. And these are the same people that won't pick up French fries that they find on the sidewalk. What's the difference? I mean, really? Have you ever wondered why they put fast food restaurants on the side of the road? Maybe fast food is the road kill of modern eatery. Maybe they just want to place the restaurant as close as possible to the food source. I'm not saying that fast food is made of road kill. Those two things don't even belong in the same sentence, because road kill is dead for the simple reason that it wasn't fast enough. So that's where vultures come in. They eat the things that try to cross the road and fail at doing so. They're the road's natural clean-up crew. Eating road kill since 1893.
(Continued) You make the long trudge home and finally arrive around 3 in the morning, covered in mud and your hair all messy. For the next couple of days, you read the newspaper, just to see if they mention the murder of any chickens. As time goes by, a week, two weeks, you begin to realize you just got away with it, and then you start to relax. No one even reported the chicken missing. It turns out, no one even really cared. And then you're finally able to sleep like a baby, until one night, around midnight, you're awakened by a loud noise and you open your eyes, only to see that chicken standing over you, the one that you'd murdered. "Remember me?" the chicken asks, with angry eyes. And then it beats you to death in your own bed. Yes, it survived that brutal road crossing and had now come for its revenge. So has that ever happened to you? The whole running over a chicken, only to have it hunt you down and beat you to death thing? You might laugh at the idea, but I bet you won't be laughing when you run over that chicken tomorrow. You'll be thinking, "Crap! This can't be happening. I just read about this. I hope that chicken doesn't follow me home and murder me while I'm in my pajamas." There's a simple solution. Once you hit the chicken, stop the car, get out, and make sure that chicken's dead. I don't care if it's still breathing. Cover it's mouth and nose with your hand, and say, "Shh, little chicken. Go towards the light." Otherwise, it's going to track you down and pummel you to death in your own bed. Choke the chicken. That's my advice. Nothing wrong with choking the chicken every now and then. If you run over something in the road, at least have the decency to kill it.
Adam!!! She is a sweetheart!!!! And she LOVES CLOUDS! I am NOT just handing out accolades to just ANYBODY! I like her and she's just super! I invited her to our Superhero club! Besides she was considering snagging one of YOURS!!! Sheesh! lol, She might with the right encouragement move closeby me, so that makes her SUPER COOL! I would never give anybody more accolades than you! Don't be silly, when you get out of this sillyness slump I will give you a SUPER DUPER SPECIAL Accolade that I promise NOBODY else will ever be able to obtain!!! So, just for coming out of this proverbial snail hut-rut ;) here, is a +O+ accolade! Oh, a double one, here Acc+O+lade! Now stop being a whiny and get busy with a new hub! :P
Try a herd of Cape buffalo that keeps you waiting for almost an hour as they lazily cross the road in their thousands! And on a blisteringly hot day in a car with no airconditioning! Made me wish I were in a Sherman tank or something.
And why did they cross the road at that time? Well their incredible navigational instincts told them I was coming, of course!
Loved this read, thanks.
Love and peace
No I like crazy randomness AngRose! Do it again!
Yes the kittens would have worked nicely, or lambs or babies? I've never seen a chicken crossing a road, but if i did i would allow it to cross, then club it to death. I haven't seen a vulture crossing the road, but i played table tennis against one last thursday, i'm lying it was wednesday really. I have seen many snails crossing the road. "Why do french people eat snails?
Because they don't like fast food."
Oh well must dash, this is your inner self speaking, and although we love your daft humour, let's hope your outer self is a bit more sensible.
Okay, I have an update. My boy and I were coming home from an alcohol free event, turned up our little lane in our little development and there were TWO DUCKS crossing the road. Of course this Hub popped into my mind. Now there is no pond, river, lake or puddle nearby. Just TWO DUCKS! Go figure.
YEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS my first Superhero club accolade!! I am dancing the happy dance of joy here at my house! I've wanted one of those for so long I actually considered breaking into Q's house and stealing his, but I was afraid of his scary little dog! Thanks so much Kath!!! And thank you for your encouragement RH! Others might not be so happy you encouraged me, as it might encourage me to type more random crap, but who cares if they can't take a joke! haha
I agree AngRose needs an accolade for that! So here ya go "0" that's from the Superhero club. I know what ya mean it was pretty crazy the way they drive over there. So fast you can't see the speed limit signs even if they had them.
Mr. Q. I'm not sure what to believe about the cat eye lids, because I can't find it. I looked and looked, but I agree subway tuna is YUKKIE. I'll never get one again!
My friend found a kitten that sat under the hood of his car and when he got to work and heard a meowing engine (as opposed to one that purrs) and when he looked there was a baby kitty there! Aw. So, he took it in work, and him and the employees kept it in a box with food n' water, but the shelter wouldn't take it because it had an eye infection! (luckily he was the boss so they got to keep it there) anyway, so, he took it to the vets and got it all fixed up, and it was already on the waiting list to be adopted, so I think it was super cool of my friend to do that for the baby kitty :) plus it had a new home! How they survive rides under the hood without falling out or getting burned is beyond me! Kittens must know something about engines cos I've heard some say they purr, and his meowed, so human's don't I suppose!
That's so funny AngRose! LOL!
We had to stop and wait for a herd of sheep to get off the road in Scotland once.
My mother in laws cat named Pickles used to get on the hood of her car and ride down the road to her brothers house with her to go visit, this is in Ireland where you can get away with riding around with cats on your hoods in small villages cuz nobody cares what you do.
My boys had lizards once, but they died...natural deaths and nobody ate them.
I just thought I'd type a bunch of random crap because I can...but it's all true random crap so I should get points for that at least.
It was late at night and we were on a two lane highway and my husband said, watch out for the cat...I said what cat? I was so freaked out wondering if I'd find it caught under the car when we stopped. Thanks for a freaky Hub Q, that in a sick way was enjoyable!
one technical comment-
the only reasons turtles get run over is that they tend to switch on the air conditioning when they retire into their shells to hide.This drains the battery back up and by the time the car comes close to them their infra red warning cum self propulsion system is on the blink and so when you hit them they are actually blissfully watching reruns of BAYWATCH (a perennial turtle favourite) thinking that if a car really was hitting them they would know and get propelled out of harms way.
what is needed is a warning on the inside of their shells telling them not to keep the a/c on if they are not moving.NASA needs to woek on this and I have been runing a signature campaign on this on the net since man first landed on the moon and a dollar as a donation to the casue should be sent to my Nigerian account.
second what if a submarine was crossing the road?I do not here refer to those marines who are considered substandard but those underwater aquatic vehicles that sometimes decide to excecise on the surface.will we have to take blame for the snails they have squished and the chicken they ran over before they ran over us.And then will we able to haunt the submariners ( not the substandard marines- the govt will haunt them anways but the marines that run the subs meaning the submarines not the subway sandwiches since a differnet class of people haunt them anyways and Mcdonalds do not like them and so do the Coca Cola people and the Republicans)after the chickens haunt us or do we join forces with the chicken to haunt the submariners (defined as hitherto stated)
kindly clarify since i am anxiuosly waiting in my bath tub with cold water splashing on my faceand my wife wanats to abthe sicne she has to go to office and someone in the family has to work for a living..
WHAT DID YOU DO WITH IT'S EYELID! I'm soooo telling Steve Martin on you! I bet you're trying to sell it!
I like rats too, that's why I cry when the ferals bring their lifeless body's to me. I tell them it's not nice, but they say "Great KathaRELLLAAA, who are you to judge our gifts, you ingrate!!!!" Then I cry more.
One must decide if one like cats or rats. I for one, much prefer pestilent controlling felines to beady eyed rodents. Buy hey Q, to each his own. Although Attemptedhumor did call me a rat on my last hub, but I think he meant it as a compliment? Gosh I hope he wasn't refering to my eyes.
Don't worry Katharella I see that Q is trying to throw you under the hay truck to save himself, but I'm no green horn and he's no wiley coyote.
Well "I" didn't kitten juggle! Some guy on video did! And it they got money to stop it, so all the kittens were safe.
I have barn kittens every spring and fall. I just put some food out for them (and mama cat) so they stay used to feeding from the wild, cos after all I live in the country. I don't believe in messing with nature so I let it takes it's course. I don't use bird feeders or anything like that because the animals get used to finding food, and when it's not there, then it's not fair to the animal/bird. So I leave it up to them. Once in awhile the cats leave me a present on my back porch so I know they appreciate me letting them use my barn. :)
O.K. I give.
Oh my god you are such a cat hating jerk! (that was my unedited thought, knew you could handle it)
When I was growing up we had a girl from NY stay in our house. She was going to the college down the road and thought our house looked like hostel or something. She also thought we were the Waltons or something. We had wild barn cats running around all the time. She often was caught cuddling kittens. She asked my Dad what was for dinner. "Kitty stew." That kitten bore the name for all its (very long) life. :)
It's only bad if you juggle kittens. I know cos I saw it in The Jerk. Steve Martin was so cool, he donated to the cause to stop kitten juggling! :)
Oh and they Squirrel that jumped out of the tree was National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation! Sienfield wasn't even funny. Although Christmas Vacation rocked! And had the girl from Sienfield in it. (She was a fuddy duddy in that too, so she got what she deserved in Christmas Vacation)
I didn't laugh, so thank you. I apologize my manners are indeed lacking. And thank you also for not including the obvious road kill: kittens. This did not go unoticed and you gained points which over shadowed any small humorous attemptw. I am in your debt kind sir.
Actually, the rude turtle STOLE my Hello Kitty AK-47! "I" would have salt in it so I can shoot slugs..er.. snails that are after me. It works ya know, it really does. It was one of my favorite games as a kid.
Was the chicken you choked, really a turkey?
Lol! I'm 100% serious about that! Robby was going to bury it on his property. The thing woke up and started flipping out! He had to pull over and jump out of the car! Hysterically true!
:::Note To Self::: Do not put an apparent dead turkey in the back seat. Make sure it is wrapped tightly before leaving grocery store!
...What about flabbits and squizards, I mean rabbits and lizards?
Q - too funny! Totally reminds me of a friend, Robby, who lived between two farms, had a turkey that thought it was Robby's friend, it got hit by a car. Robby stopped and picked it up and put it in the back seat of his car. It really wasn't dead. Or it came back to life in the back seat. IDK.
Don't ever put a turkey in your back seat. Apparently they don't like waking up in cars.
I live in fear of hitting a deer. You rock Q.
Sorry about the typo in my first comment, but I'm still laughing about your penultimate sentence. Must be my mind, because I'm generally very kind to God's little creatures, but for some reason it makes me smile. Nay, laugh out loud.
Well I just hope the chicken don't get choked before Randy let's me in on how to make chicken 365 ways! And if she don't bid on the brains I'm going to! Once they're picked over enough, then I could use them for wind chimes or something. Maybe even scare little neighborhood children.
Wow. So much writing. Tempted to scan because I don't do reading much. But then I'd miss the chicken choking.
Funny, smart, interesting, original - you have the whole deal going on.
You're doing great Q.
Interesting! Have you seen the Seinfeld where George swerves in his car and accidentally hits a squirrel? His girlfreind makes him take it to the vet . . . Lots of spent dollars later, he must care for it at home . . . very funny!
Randy, you should quickly go put a bid on his brains since you like them, I mean quick too! Cos they're getting picked over like crazy. 365 ways? Make a hub on that cos my Rottweiler LOVES Chicken! I run out of ways to make it for her! (that is serious lol and would be a good hub, long though, do it in Forest Gump's friend's voice too, the guy who LT. Dan said his lip would get caught on a trip wire)
I have had many creatures cross the road. The most awesome was a cattle drive-yep a cattle drive. Hundreds of cows. We were coming down the mountain from Yosemite and there they were. Tons and tons of steak!
Thanks for this funny, fun and informative Hub. As always I enjoyed it-tasted just like chicken!
Q your brain is a very interesting place. It seems to me that if you hit a chicken though, you really should take it home and have it for dinner. There are over 365 ways to cook a chicken you know.
Incredibly fentertaining. So funny and so deliciously vote upable. (Uppable?)... you know what I mean.
Q~~ Somehow I think all along you have been looking for an opportunity to "pick a fight" with that chicken...I can hardly wait to read the sequel...!!
Voted UP & FUNNY...!!
Actually, that did happen to me, and I was huddled down in the bathtub, cold water splashing on me, and freaked out as all hell! Finally, when I calmed down I got out of the shower and I ran and jumped into bed. The chicken didn't come after me it was the turtle. I know some turtles personally, and they didn't take kindly to me running over their kin.
At first I thought it ALL was just a horrible nightmare! Then I realized, I had killed a deer, a turtle, a chicken.. no wait, I bought the chicken at the store, scratch that! I only killed the deer and turtle. Oh, and the snail. But the deer was definitely dead, because the girl in front of me ran over it first. She was so shaken up, I had to talk to 911 for her to come and get it. My hit definitely took the deer out. Anyway I woke up, or at least I thought I did to the turtle, it could of been a nightmare, but I'm never sure, because my nightmares are very vivid. I said, "I sprinkled salt on the snail, so I know he's dead, I'm sorry for killing the turtle" But he said, in a mean turtle voice, "too bad bitch you're going to die die diiiiieeee, you squashed my gear!" But but.. I didn't mean to! My cries did no good. He whipped out his Hello Kitty AK-47 and aimed it at me. I started to cry, and he shot out little MRE'S until they knocked me unconscious.
The next morning I woke to believe it was all a horrible nightmare, but I was still in wet clothing, and had muck all over me! To this day I am still waiting everyday to see if that slug..er.. snail is ever going to come back and get me for pouring the salt on it.
My fault I guess because I didn't stop and make sure the turtle or the snail was dead. But I haven't poured salt on another snail because I felt so guilty after that. I'll never do it again. Now I have to answer to the turtles family. Unless of course he forgot the whole incident and let me off the hook. Time will tell, that's all I know time will tell.


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Jesus Christ - Prophet of God - Mark Jones
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Who is the greatest prophet of all? Pastor Mark A. Jones brings to light the amazing Scriptures which tell us that Jesus Christ is the prophet of God. It is Jesus that is the prophet of whom God said to Moses "I will put my words in his mouth" (Deut. 18:15-18; Acts 3:22-24).

subset: commoncrawl


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Date: February 20, 2015
Venue: Kiev, Ukraine
– Ukrainian Scientific-Research Institute
of Radio and Television
Expert & Consulting (E&C)
09:30 Registration of the participants
Session 1 GOVERNMENT as a SERVICE
10:00-11:30 Discussion: How can governmental structures and regulators help the market grow?
– Governmental regulatory programs relating to new media
– Is governmental regulation required in the relationship between the rightholders and OTT/IPTV providers?
– The legal framework for the regulation of new media
– International practice
We invite to participate: the members of the Committee for Informatization and Communications of Verkhovna Rada of Ukraine, The National Television and Radio Broadcasting Council of Ukraine, providers, rightholders, industry associations
11:30-12:00 Coffee break
Session 2 TECHNOLOGY, PLATFORMS, SOLUTIONS, APPLICATIONS
12:00-12:20 Platforms and solutions to provide the service "content on all your devices"
12:20-12:40 Content security in delivery networks
12:40-13:00 Content management systems
13:00-13:20 Multiscreen: how will the "second screen" increase provider's revenue?
13:20-14:00 Discussion: The prospects of new technologies/products/services. What and why should be deployed now. What do suppliers think?
14:00-15:00 Lunch
Session 3 VALUE ADDED SERVICES IN BROADBAND NETWORKS. PARTNERSHIP PROGRAMS
15:00-15:20 TV content in telcos' networks: value added service or the customer retention tool
15:20-15:40 Wireless broadband: new opportunities for providers growth
15:40-16:00 Cloud solutions for the operators and providers
16:00-16:30 Case-study: Presentation of a successful partnership program
16:30-17:00 Coffee break
Session 4 QUALITY OF SERVICE = CUSTOMER LOYALTY
17:00-17:20 How can advanced tools and technologies increase customer loyalty?(Big Data, EDW..)
17:20-17:40 High-quality service inexpensively. Myth or reality?
17:40-18:30 Which customer loyalty programs do work for the customers?
18:30-19:00 Discussion: who is responsible for QoS?
– What is QoS?
– Who will pay for QoS?
– Who should address the QoS requirements of customers?
19:00 Summary
Post-release BROADBAND UKRAINE 2015 is available here.


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Adopt a Garden, a campaign by Bette Midler's New York Restoration Project, invites donors to name community gardens in all five boroughs. Of the 52 gardens NYRP owns and manages, 15 remain available for adoption—with the cost ranging from $50,000 to $1 million.
The entertainer established the non-profit in 1995 to increase access to open, high-quality public space for all New Yorkers. This campaign has attracted such high-profile donors as The Walt Disney Company Foundation, Michael Kors and Jo Malone London. The cost of adoption ranges depending on the size and scale of the renovation.
Take a look at the gardens still in need of adoption here.
Source: townandcountrymag.com


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Discussion in 'MMA Betting Discussion' started by JimGunn, Jun 19, 2018.
R2: Williams (it can easily go either way, but I liked what I saw out of Williams just a tad more)
Letournau has probably already given up.
Valerie went with her veteran tactics and got a take down in R3 and is just laying and praying to win the round.
Congrats on your Valerie bets, fellas.
29-28 Val imo.
Val 29-28 at worst, maybe even 30-27 if she got round 2
Triangle was there for Williams but she didn't know it.
Letournau takes it 2-1
Hoping for a robbery
Val clearly won 2-1
Easy W for Val. She has a way better ground game and even her stand up is better. Williams backers had no chance.
Didnt get to watch but sounds significantly closer than youre making it sound?
I am not sure why the ref stood them up. Letourneau definitely won the first and third rounds.
Meh. There was really no question about rds 1 and 3. All the judges gave Williams rd 2, but that was the only close round of the fight. Val pretty clearly won.
I don't consider two dominant rounds for Valerie where she also dropped her and a close round is a significantly close fight. There was zero way to score it for Williams.
Definitely not an easy win for Letourneau. She took the fight down in R3 and didn't do shit on top, but knew how to stay on top long enough to win the round.
All three judges scored it 29-28 for Letourneau.
Too bad Williams couldn't stop the take downs in R1 and R3, which decided the fight.
Edit: Williams couldn't stop the take down, and wasn't able to get up once taken down, is what I meant.
I'd say it was a competitive fight, but not very close the way it played out since Williams had a chance to win until getting taken down in the 3rd. It definitely wasn't a close matchup to the extent that you could see 2 rounds go to Williams. She clearly lost.
late to post but i'm on valerie and an Awad/Archuleta/MacFarlane parlay
Williams probably wins if Letournau doesn't take her down in the third. She also had a triange right in front of her in the last 15 seconds but didn't realize it. She locks that in and she might even win the round even if Letournau barely survives
If that was caged muay thai rules fight Kristina would have had a much better chance to catch Valerie and hurt her or win a decision on volume. But it wasn't, it was an MMA fight, so she had very little chance with no takedown defense and no ability to get up or assert any offense off her back against someone with Valerie's experience. I will bet Williams again in the right matchups however.
Baby Couture needs to hang up his gloves.
I get that he wants to follow in his dad's footsteps, but he just isn't good in any one area of MMA.
awad -145 itd was a gift... should have put more on it.
now i just need balart to hit.
I just need macfarlane to finish up my parlay
Separate names with a comma.


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User summary:
Quickdraw presents a rules-light fusion of American Western and typical Fantasy tropes. The game utilizes stripped decks of playing cards for action resolution. Opposed actions are resolved with a (possibly modified) card draw compared to a target difficulty. Characters have four attributes (Brawn, Agility, Smarts, and Toughness) that may provide bonuses to associated actions.


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What Happened to those Collapsing Computer Labs?
Our Works Minister claims that bridges cannot collapse but history proves that any man-made structure can do just that. This letter to the press was written a few years ago but was never published.
The computer labs misconstruction fiasco shows how the privatisation procedures or the lack of them have caused not only a massive wastage of taxpayers funds but it placed thousands of young school-children in danger of injury and even death by occupying buildings that are of unsound construction.
No doubt the main contractors and the government appointed consultant are the main cause of this disgraceful "piratisation" but the ministry involved cannot just blame them completely without taking some share for not making sure that qualified people were given the contracts.
The ministry cannot wash its hands and claim it has the status of a "house owner" when it is actually the trustee of the taxpayers and taxpayers are the ones who should decide if the trustee deserved such trust. It is a basic management principle – If one has authority, one also bears responsibility.
It is all too easy to just claim everything is a Cabinet decision and indeed it is a dangerous practice. Even though matters are discussed at Cabinet level, it is up to the minister involved to make sure that a major fiasco like this stops at the ministry level or we will have situations perhaps once every 2 months when we should ask the Cabinet to resign for major blunders.
We should require that someone of adequate importance in the appropriate department responsible for such projects resign so that more competent staff can look after taxpayers' monies. It will also give a strong and clear signal that the government is serious about improving the quality of the civil service
On examining the details published in the Sunday Times feature "Disastrous start for computer project", the following features are quite interesting.
The Finance Ministry was in charge of Phase 1 and awarded 3 contracts on June 21 2000 and another 3 on Oct 3 2000.
A contract awarded on Oct3 2000 for Sabah was 45% higher per unit than the lowest contract. The lowest contractor for Negri Sembilan, Malacca and Johor was terminated and replaced by their own subcontractors and "good progress now reported".
Why were different dates chosen for the award of the contracts? This allows contractors to take advantage of price information and price manipulation – this is one area where corruption can easily occur.
The other contracts awarded in June 2000 had price variations of 4%, 11% and 15% above the cheapest contractor. The 15% increase in price was for Selangor and FT which is surprising as there should be many builders available here.
A public inquiry should be held to discover how government procedures and especially directives from the Cabinet are executed so that a major blunder like this does not recur. Once again, our MPs do not appear to have a collective voice and except for one MP from Tampin, the rest are clueless or just do not give a damn.
The ACA should not just check the goings on in the way the projects were implemented. Given that the computer labs were standard items of construction of simple buildings and outfitting with computers, it should check the working papers in the Finance Ministry on how the project prices were approved, especially on how the contract in Sabah was enriched by an extra 45% margin. This is not rocket science.
Just imagine if someone decides tomorrow that we should use nuclear energy by 2005 and gives out a contract to some unknown C contractor – well, this sad episode shows that in Bolehland, that is quite possible. Before we develop into a knowledge-based economy, we must develop some basic management skills which this episode proves are terribly lacking.
Too many government departments have a glorified ISO policy manifest but the computer lab fiasco shows that it is merely for show – all form and no substance.
To prevent further such embarrassing and wasteful projects, all government contracts should have transparent tender and implementation procedures.
photo: South Australia. Nature's bridge takes thousands of years to collapse, man-made ones takes just a few years.


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Monday, May 28, 2012
Megacon 2013
I've just mailed off my payment for my Sculptwerks megacon booth!!! I've worked up a nice little inventory so far. I've got 200 prints of The Last Breakfast, 50 prints of Scrooge, 5 or 6 sculpts and 18 gummie medallions. I'm not going to make any more until my payment clears and I actually officially have a place to sell this stuff! So now we play the waiting game......
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Wedding Cake Topper
Max and Jessica got married last saturday.
They chose the greatest wedding cake topper to ever have existed.
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Metal powerhouses Korn and Rob Zombie brought their Return of the Dreads tour to the Philadelphia area on Friday, 9/2 with their show at Camden NJ's BB&T Pavilion, and what a way to kick off a holiday weekend. Normally I don't travel out of state to cover a show, but with this tour skipping NYC, my options were limited: go to the show in Holmdel at PNC Bank Arts Center and shoot from the crowd, or drive the extra 45 minutes to the Camden show and hang out in Philly for the day. I've been to a Korn show before; driving the extra 45 minutes for a photo pit was the obvious choice. This was my second time seeing both Korn and opening act In This Moment, who oddly enough I believe were on the same lineup 5 years ago as part of Disturbed's Music as a Weapon tour, way back before I had any idea who In This Moment were.
None the less, In This Moment kicked off the party in Camden, albeit with only 7 songs, which was a huge disappointment. I was hoping they'd have more time simply because of the theatrics, but also because they absolutely killed it live the first time I saw them way back in 2011. Anyway, on this night just outside Philly, ITM opened their abbreviated set with Sick Like Me from their most recent album, 2014's Black Widow, and followed it with that album's title track. ITM would then go through Adrenalize, Burn, Sex Metal Barbie, Whore and finally Blood, which is consistent with their set for the duration of the tour.
ITM are more theatrics and choreographed stage production than they are metal, as they bring out dancers and weapons and smoke and a bunch of other things you would only see at an In This Moment show. That's not to say that they don't kick ass live, because they definitely do, but their show is very heavily centered on vocalist Maria Brink than any other member of the band, as she comes out with all kinds of props and even wields knives and smoke canons, which is why I'd love to see them on a headline tour. They're solid live AND they give you a visual show to remember.
Up next would be none other than Rob Zombie, the man who created his like Dragula and Living Dead Girl. I admittedly stopped listening to Rob Zombie many years ago, not long after The Sinister Urge. I had actually forgotten he was still making music for a while since he's gotten into horror movies. Seeing him live for the first time brought back a rush of late 90's, early 2000's nostalgia of getting off the cheese bus freshman year of high school with Dragula and Feels So Numb blasting on my Sony CD player with oversized headphones wrapped around my noggin. But I digress. Mr. Zombie kicked off his set with Dead City Radio and the New Gods of Supertown. Try saying that a couple times. Needless to say, Rob Zombie has a bunch of songs with weird like names like that, including In The Age of the Consecrated Vampire We All Get High and, my personal favorite for a song name, Well, Everybody's Fucking in a U.F.O, both of which made the cut for the setlist on this night.
Prior to the aforementioned track with the great name, Zombie played Living Dead Girl from his 1998 debut album Hellbilly Deluxe, and right after was the White Zombie classic More Human Than Human, followed by Never Gonna Stop (The Red, Red Kroovy). Eventually Mr. Zombie kicked out an epic guitar solo along with a striking rendition of The Star-Spangled Banner before playing a heavy metal cover of the Grand Funk Railroad anthem We're an American Band. Finally, it was the song I had been waiting to hear live since I first heard it way back in 1998: Dragula, which, as his biggest hit, closed out the set. Needless to say, Dragula is just as epic live in 2016 as it was on CD 18 year ago. The 15-song set from Zombie was well worth checking out, and now I have to get myself back into him and check out his post-2001 material. He's absolutely insane live and hasn't lost a step over his 18-year career as one of heavy metal's under-appreciated acts.
Finally, it was time for the night's main attraction and the reason I made the two hour drive to Philly in the first place (well, that and cheesesteak) – Korn. Surprisingly, Korn's set turned out to be exactly one song shorter than Rob Zombie's, something you rarely see from a headlining act. As I mentioned at the top, this was my second time seeing Korn live, but I haven't really been listening to them for a while. The last album I can remember listening to was 2005's See You On The Other Side, which featured Coming Undone. Wow, Coming Undone is really 11 years old already? But again I digress, and should probably continue the review.
Korn's changed a bit over the years – they've gone through phases of nu metal, heavy metal and industrial metal, but have always kept their roots , and their dreads. On Friday night in Camden, Korn took us all on a roller coaster through time from their early hits all the way through their newest tunes, in no particular order. Opening with Right Now, the tone was set immediately for what would be almost an hour and a half of headbanging metal. Following up on Right Now was 2002's hit Here To Stay. The aforementioned Coming Undone would be the band's 5th song of the night, and was then followed by a couple songs that were completely new to me. Those included Y'all Want a Single and Make Me Bad, but what came next was both surprising and awesome at the same time. Korn played Shoots and Ladders, the song that got me into them in the first place way back in 1996 when I first heard it at 10 years old. Mind. Blown.
Eventually Korn would play Got The Life and ultimately close with Freak on a Leash, either of those two could have closed as one could make the argument for either song being their biggest hit and most popular song. Noticeably absent from the setlist, however, was Dead Bodies Everywhere. Slightly disappointing, sure, but Korn more than made up for it with the 14 tracks they did play. Shoots and Ladders was worth the drive alone. At the end of the night, when all was said and done, Korn, Rob Zombie and In This Moment combined to make my 4-hour roundtrip drive worth every minute. I knew Korn was good live from the first time I saw them 5 years ago, but I had forgotten just how good they actually are, live or not. After a night full of 90's nostalgia, how can I not start listening to them again?


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No, I'm not talking about Super Hero Squad! Marvel Universe Online is in fact still in development, and in an interview with Massively.com, Jeff Lind talked about the game launching from the start as free to play:
That was the big surprise of the day! We are very excited about that. We think that [F2P] is an awesome way to make this game much more accessible. It's a great way to get more people to play (which is good in and of itself), but also we think it's a good business decision. We think this is a better way to make games in the business now. There is plenty of evidence out there — you guys see it all the time — and we feel like this is a great way to go for the game.
I have an article coming on Marvel Universe that should be published tonight. Find out why I believe this title is going to hit a hard brick wall at launch.


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Recipe of Radish Salad | Mooli Salad
Salad is always an important part of the meal. It enhances the taste of the meal. This Special salad is tangy, yummy and a healthy choice. Radish salad is a refreshing healthy and nutritious salad which is topped with a crunchy mix of onion, tomato and green chilly tossed in spices and lemon juice. It is a perfect recipe for weight watchers. It is fresh, flavorful, and filling.
It is easy and quick salad which can be prepared in few minutes. It is light on stomach and is quiet filling. It is colorful salad which is a bowl full of nutrition which is high on fibre. It is simple, healthy and gluten free. It can also served as a easy side dish with any meal.
Lets start with the recipe :
|Preparation Time
|Cooking time
|Total Time
|10 minutes
|10 minutes
|1 bowl
Recipe Type : Salad
Cuisine : Indian
Ingredients :
- 2 grated white radish (mooli)
- 1 sliced onion
- 3 chopped green chillies
- 1 chopped tomato
- 1 lemon
- Salt according to Taste
- 1/2 Teaspoon chaat masala
- 1/4 Teaspoon red chilli powder
- pinch of black pepper
- Take a bowl
- Add carrot, onion, green chillies, tomato in a bowl
- Add salt, lemon, chaat masala and red chilli powder
- Toss it and mix it well.
- Serve cold
It taste best with the Indian Breakfast Aloo Poori, Boondi Raita and Mint Chutney
Check out the recipe Aloo poori, Boondi Raita and Mint Chutney