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tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57775802721141739252018-09-20T01:07:16.393-07:00frazzled & frumpyJulie email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777580272114173925.post-35958791337940525452018-01-22T14:26:00.002-08:002018-01-22T14:26:46.528-08:00Just One

I have one New Year's Resolution for this year. One. Because I seriously suck at resolutions. I thought maybe I could do one. Because I'm really good at peer pressure and all the peers have resolutions and they're pressuring me (without even meaning to) to make one.

So, OK already. Stop pressuring me.

Ready? Here it is-

I resolute resolve determine (whatever!)

I'm going to write everyday more.

I know blogs are sort of passe, but this is an easy place for me to write. And, yeah, no one reads them, but it's more about me, you know? Because I'm all selfish like that. (I'm not. Or I try not to be. If I am, will you tell me?)

I have about a hundred classes* and I have to write for ALL of them, which you would definitely not want to read,(technical writing-blah.) but I need some creative stuff, so yeah. Here it goes.

*I'm the queen of hyperbole. I actually have 5 classes. But it feels like a hundred.Julie email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777580272114173925.post-78324635757749542972016-05-20T08:38:00.000-07:002016-05-20T08:38:11.306-07:00365 Days

Sadie just minutes before entering the MTC.

Our church is big on preparation. Prepare for your future. Prepare for catastrophes. Prepare for you callings. Be spiritually prepared. We are taught it all our lives.

Prepare.

Sadie was trying to prepare me. Or Someone was.

 From the beginning, my girl was ok to leave me. At the tender age of two, she toddled off, holding my sister Ellen's hand as she left for a sleepover. No looking back, no tears or requests to 'come home'. She chatted all the way to Ellen's house and happily spent time with her, only sad when she was returned to me.

At eight, she went to Girl Scout camp. A week with her BFF in the Utah mountains, making boondoggle and singing songs. Still no homesick tears.

I have let her go over and over. Girls camp. Youth conference. Scout camp. I should have been prepared.

We are all prepared, we Mormon parents. It isn't like it's sprung on us. A mission- SURPRISE! We know they're going. We talk about it as they grow. ("When you go on your mission…" "Where do you hope to go?) We plan for it. The smart ones save for it. We know it's going to happen.

But can anything really prepare a mother?

365 days.

Today it's been a year. A year since I kissed and hugged my girl goodbye. A year since I watched her walk confidently away. A year since she didn't look back.

I have longed to be there. To share in her adventure. To watch her learn. To hear her teach and testify. To carry her when she struggles. To hold her when she cries. To cheer her in her joys.

But this is her journey.

The year hasn't been easy. She has faced rejection, illness, discouragement and even sorrow over the death of a friend. For all these things, I have been a distant observer. Emails offer little comfort or support.

But I have also seen her growth.

My shy girl has become bold. And sassy. She unflinchingly testifies of what she knows and she doesn't back down. The girl who feared teaching a small Sunday school class, now bravely knocks on doors, teaches on porch steps, in homes and on the street. She is fearless and confident in her testimony of the Savior and His gospel. She is happy in the face of trial because she knows Whom she serves.

365 days. A year since I've heard her laugh. A year since she climbed onto my bed. A year since she laid her head on my shoulder.

 My arms are empty but my heart is so full. My girl has grown into a woman. A Woman of faith and truth. A Woman who leads and exemplifies all that is good. A Woman of Light.

I didn't need preparation for that.

One year later.
Woman of Faith and Light

Julie email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777580272114173925.post-77331886654982710722016-03-31T09:25:00.000-07:002016-03-31T09:25:14.639-07:00Can You Hear Me Now?Gah!!
I am so out of practice with this blog-writing thing. I start a post, then erase it. Start another and erase it too. Then I go on other blogs to get inspired and all I get is discouraged because they are obviously not out of practice.
Sheesh.

Here's the thing- I'm going to be in Listen to Your Mother. (Which, if you don't know, is a nationwide show that celebrates motherhood. It's amazing. You should go. It's May 5th.) And, if you go on the site and click on my name, it brings you here. To my blog. My very, very neglected blog. (If my blog was a kid, someone would call DCFS.) And, though I doubt tons of people will be clicking on my name, if they do, they'll see my sad blog and think I'm lame.

(I am lame, but I really don't want to have verifiable proof.)

So, I'm trying to get back into practice.

If my announcement about LTYM seems familiar, that's because I've done it before. Three years ago. It was incredible. Life-changing. (and about seven other adjectives) Doing it again is... scary. What if I'm not funny? This is a real fear for anyone who tries to be funny. Remember Marlin from Finding Nemo?

But, I'm doing it. Because I'm a mom. And what moms want is for their kids to listen to them. And if they can't have that, then they'd like anyone to listen to them. Anyone.

P.S. Wanna listen to me? And twelve other fabulous people? You won't regret it, promise. You can get tickets here.

P.P.S. You can watch my first video, too. Tired Mom.

Julie email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777580272114173925.post-26396462037231211822015-12-27T09:33:00.000-08:002015-12-27T09:33:21.421-08:00Merry Social-Media Christmas

As I scrolled through my facebook and Instagram feeds this morning, I found myself feeling a bit overwhelmed. My breathing quickened, my heart raced and I thought I might be having a panic attack. What was wrong? you ask. (Thanks for asking.) But, really, nothing. Nothing was wrong. Everything was right. So. Very. Right. It was...Perfect.
Yes, I'm talking about the "Christmas of 2015" posts. Holy crap! You all had a great year! And as I looked through all the pics- fancy tables, gifts piled around the tree, beaches, and Disneyland- I realized how lacking I am. I mean, seriously, I suck at Christmas.
But then a little voice whispered (I hear voices, don't judge), "No one's life is like that all the time."
Oh, right. It's the social media bear trap. You know, where everyone posts all the best stuff in their life while behind the scenes they're just as screwed up as the rest of us? I'm guilty of it. Yeah. I delete pictures and crop and filter the ones I post. Ain't nobody need to see my gray hairs and wrinkles! I put up our best and brightest moments, too.

(I'm not in the picture because my hair wasn't done.
And I didn't have a Star Wars shirt. And it's out of focus.Like me.)

So, while I was thinking about all this perfection,and the guilt it creates, I decided I'd give you all a belated Christmas gift--and tell you about my failures this Christmas.

Fail #1- I am over this Santa thing.

It's been 23 years I've had to pretend about Santa. And, no, I'm not a Santa-hater, I think it's great. But after a while, you get tired of having to come up with an explanation about why your kid gets a Nerf gun from Santa when his friend down the street gets an XBox1. Noah (the only one left who believes in the Big Guy) told me a few weeks ago about a gift he wanted-

N-I want a remote control BB8 for Christmas.
Me- Um, ok. Let's look that up. (furiously typing on computer) Whoa. That thing costs $200. How do you think you can get a gift that costs that much?
N- Uh, Santa.

It took every ounce of willpower I had to not say, "Yeah, Santa? That's me. Always has been. And I don't have $200 for one gift."
Maybe next year he'll find out the truth.

Fail #2- We had help.
Here's a little confession- we didn't have enough money for Christmas. I know, I know, no one wants to talk about money. It's uncomfortable, But I'm going there. We have one income, I'm in school full-time, six kids at home and a missionary out. Big surprise-money is tight. So, we had help. Some very kind and generous people helped with our Christmas. Here's the thing, we all want to give service at Christmas, but no one wants to acknowledge they need help and therefore, don't want to accept it. Hey, people, how can anyone give service if no one takes service??? It's ok to need help now and then, we all do. (And, if you don't need anything, but someone wants to do something for you, let them. Don't deny someone blessings because of your pride.)

Fail #3- My house is not clean.

Nope. We straightened and I made the boys vacuum on Christmas eve, but it wasn't spotless. I don't know when's the last time the kitchen floor got mopped (all this snow? ten minutes and it'd be muddy again). We sat on Christmas morning surrounded by wrapping paper and candy wrappers and paper plates. With smiles on our faces. We can clean later, the mess isn't going anywhere.

Faces like this are more important than mopped floors.

Fail #4- We ate unhealthily.
This probably isn't a big surprise, we all splurge during the holidays, right? But, our Christmas doesn't consist of a fancy-sit-down-tablecloth-and-china dinner. I made a ham. And rolls (Rhodes, because I didn't want all that work). I managed to ruin the "good Jell-o" by forgetting it was in the freezer to cool. It was a bright red mess of glop. I also forgot the veggie tray fixins. So, we had ham and rolls, and sausage and cheese, and candy. I don't think any of us ate a single vegetable all day. (Yet, somehow, we're all alive.)

Fail #5- My kids played video games. All day.
Hello, my name is Julie, and I let my kids play video games.
They all asked for video games. So we let them play video games. All day. Guess what? It was quiet. All day. Yeah, now who's crazy?

Fail #6- We weren't spiritual.
OK, this is one I do feel guilty about. We usually start Christmas day with family prayer and some reflection on the true meaning of Christmas. This year, I was tired. And excited about skyping with Sadie later. And, we skipped it. And, we didn't lose our testimonies or forget why we celebrate.

So there it is. My not-so-perfect Christmas. Don't get me wrong, I love social media and I LOVE seeing into the lives of my friends. This is just a gentle reminder not to compare our failures to the stuff we see online. Be fair. Be kind. Love yourself a little more. And give yourself a break. You're doing just fine.

 Merry Christmas!

Julie firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777580272114173925.post-43149277540364526352015-10-06T08:16:00.000-07:002015-10-07T08:17:44.134-07:00Shallow Reflection

Julie firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777580272114173925.post-60425358118732560222015-10-01T08:19:00.000-07:002015-10-02T08:21:06.989-07:00Destiny unfullfilled

Julie firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777580272114173925.post-90212806677911655922015-09-29T10:44:00.000-07:002015-09-29T10:44:05.305-07:0049 is Fabulous

Last week was my birthday. It wasn't a "big" one that ended in a zero. All the same, it felt big. Maybe because the one ending in zero is next year. And that zero will have a 5 in front of it. Yes, it's true.
I turned 49.

And honestly, I'm wondering how the hell it happened. No, I'm not kidding, not being glib. I really don't understand how I'm suddenly an 'older' person. OK, maybe it wasn't so sudden. I've been 'older' for a few years now. But, this year, I feel it.

I could blame it on college. I walk around campus in the ant-like crowds and can't miss the age differences. I'm fully aware of the smooth skin and tight everything on those kids. They're overly stylish even in their I-don't-care fashion. They talk about dating and roomates and who just got home from what mission. I walk among them as invisible as a tree--something to maneuver around.

But it's more than my new-found student-status. It's my children getting older, leaving home, having babies. It's the aches that don't go away and the wrinkles that appear and mock my moisturizing routine. It's seeing movie stars my age and saying, "Wow. They've gotten old." and realizing, so have I.

And it's the number.

49.

Over the weekend, the Handy Man and I went 'away'. I know, a few miles down I-15 to a different city may not seem exotic. (It wasn't.) But a couple days with no kids is a vacation in my book. And I had an epiphany--being older is not bad.

We went to a dear friend's reception.(She's my age.) We sat in the beautiful garden, ate the tomato pesto soup and pineapple coconut cake, My friend and her new husband (who knew each other as teenagers and reconnected all these years later) grinned and held hands. Young love may be nice, but this, new love after years alone, this was bliss.

We slept late because we could. We didn't worry about the kids at home because they can take care of each other. We sat in the hot tub, silently intimidating the teenage boys to vacate after just five minutes. We went to the movie in the middle of the day. We ate dinner where we talked about personality tests and where we'd really like to vacation. (Puerto Rico is at the top of the list.)

And as we drove home, I thought about my age. And decided to own it. I've earned the wrinkles and the stretch marks. I've lived through happy times and moments when my world seemed to end. I've raised my children with love and the gospel. I've taught and I've learned, tried and failed and succeeded.

And the thing is, I'm nowhere near done.

Julie email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777580272114173925.post-41344149846840881582015-08-31T12:31:00.002-07:002015-08-31T12:31:53.561-07:00Your Mom Goes to College

(One of my classes today.)

Today I started a new chapter in my life. It's called,

Your Mom Goes to College

As my first day at Weber State ended, I realized there are a few things that might happen if you return to school after twent--mffshh *ahem* a lot of years.

If your mom goes to college she might assume that buying a parking pass means she'll just arrive and find a place to park. When she spends 35 minutes trying to find a parking spot, she might start swearing. A lot. She also might almost hit another car. And then, when she realizes she's already late for class she might just park illegally on a residential street screaming "Screw it! Give me a ticket!" and then run to class.

She might arrive at her first class ten minutes late. Arriving late might give her anxiety*. Then she might spend the next hour trying to pay attention to the teacher while also wondering how much her parking ticket will cost.

If your mom goes to college she might search through the crowds trying to find someone, anyone, who isn't young enough for her to have given birth to. She might not succeed.**

She might wonder if she's the only one whose feet hurt because she wore those damn flip-flops. Because they were cute. Then she might notice that about 89% of the students wore flip-flops. She might try to ignore the fact that the 89% have young-enough-to-be-your-kid, non-plantar-faciitis feet.

If your mom goes to college, she might run to her car after class, prayingthat she didn't get a ticket. She might see a parking meter-maid (who is not a maid, but an old, gray-haired man) just three cars away from her minivan. Upon seeing said meter-man, she might run to her van to get there before he does. Then she might jump in and drive away as fast as possible, laughing and thanking heaven for small miracles.

If your mom goes to college, she might arrive home ready for a nap and hopeful that day two will be less stressful.

*I am a habitually punctual person. Like OCD-punctuality. Being 5 minutes early is late. Being ten minutes late--I might die.

**With the exception of my second professor. His salt and pepper beard comforted me.

(If you don't get the Napoleon Dynamite reference, I highly recommend you to find the movie and watch it, preferably late at night when you're punchy.)

Julie email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777580272114173925.post-44762173275685882132015-06-10T20:24:00.000-07:002015-06-10T20:24:50.690-07:00Hold On

There has been a lot of tragedy in our lovely state this week. Several families were altered forever. Lives were changed. Futures suddenly uncertain and dark. The story of the Bear Lake accident was all over the media, both locally and nationally. It broke our hearts and made us all hold our loved ones closer.

Thing is, tragedies happen everyday--quietly, without any fanfare or notice, except by those affected. Whether public or private, one thing remains the same--we all experience heartache.

As a member of the human race we all go through trying times. We try to avoid it, but Heartache is the master at hide-and-seek. It finds us. It squeezes our hearts, wringing them out till we feel drained and lifeless. But, it isn't so. It is the pain that reveals how very alive we are. It is the intense, immense love in our lives that allows for the ache, fosters it.

It is hard. It is hurtful. It is meant to be.

Grief and sadness, trials of all kinds, are the things that make us who we are. Because we love, we hurt. Because our lives are full, we feel the emptiness when it comes. We must taste to bitter to appreciate the sweet.

And, these things, this agony, link us to each other. We may not all have the same experience, but we all experience suffering. We can hold hands and hold each other. We can show up, give hugs, pray.

These are also the things that link us to the Savior, the One who bowed below all. He who knows the most about love and pain has paved the way for us. He is the One who understands. He is the source of our Hope.

The hope He offers is a shining beacon of light. It is a life preserver thrown just within our reach. Grab on. Hold on. He will keep us afloat. He will pull us to safety.

He alone understands the tears and the heaviness. He has experienced the lonely hours and endless nights. He will share our burdens and lift up the hands that hang down. He is the light of a new day.

So hold on, the Light will come.

Julie email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777580272114173925.post-49689237580238613172015-05-29T08:30:00.000-07:002015-05-29T08:30:00.774-07:0080's Music RocksToday's all-alone-at-7am-on-the-freeway-so-no-one-can-hear-me-sing-at-the-top-of-my-lungs songs-

You should have heard me. I was awesome. Well, not really. I think I had a pack of dogs following me.

I love 80's music.
That is all.Julie email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777580272114173925.post-1861199489206452472015-05-27T08:30:00.000-07:002015-05-27T08:30:01.401-07:00Frazzled Confessions

The Handy Man came home from work today, took one look at our room and said,

"It looks like the dryer threw up on our bed."

(Maybe I should fold some laundry.)Julie email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777580272114173925.post-79394485290630272372015-05-11T06:30:00.000-07:002015-05-11T06:30:01.913-07:00A Better Day

(This was originally written four years ago. Funny how time passes, but the feelings about motherhood stay the same.)

This afternoon, Noah begged me to push him on the swing. I dragged myself outside to help him. No underdog, he informed me. I complied . It only took a couple pushes because (hooray!)he's learned to pump. I stepped back and laid on the warm, black surface of the tramp. The backs of my eyelids blazed red as I soaked up some much needed vitamin D. I laid there, listening to the creak of the swing, taking deep breaths, thinking about my day and how much more relaxed I felt than the day before. <o:p></o:p>

I'm not made for being a chauffer. I counted a total of 7 trips I made on Wednesday. (Almost a half tank of gas! Ga!) I came home angry and frustrated. I growled at my kids and was prickly to my husband. Once dinner had been served, I parked my car-seat-shaped-butt on my bed, announcing that I was not moving for the rest of the night. I didn't. When I said my prayers, I'm ashamed to say, I was still cranky.<o:p></o:p>

Lucky for me, we have a Father who knows and loves us, even when we're grouchy. He knows what we need, even when we don't. <o:p></o:p>

I was supposed to have another day of running back and forth, but things turned out differently. I was able to be home. I cleaned , I vaccumed, I laundered. Funny how the things I complain about were the very things I needed to do to feel normal again. I sat with Noah on my lap to watch cartoons. Heavenly day- we both took a nap! When the kids arrived from their next-to-last day of school, I was there and happy to see them, to listen to their stories and admire their artwork and serve up less-than-nutritous snacks.<o:p></o:p>

Today, my loving Father gave me what I needed. A day of home. A day to be a mom. A day to rest. Tender mercies to remind me that I'm known and loved and watched over.
Julie email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777580272114173925.post-11754461886712500322015-05-08T06:20:00.000-07:002015-05-08T06:20:00.052-07:00My Mother's Day Card for You

(Original here.)

She

She is not hidden, silent or withdrawn.
She is there, if I seek Her.

She is in the craggy mountain peaks,
Snow covered, tree lined majesty.
I see her in the brilliant blue of sky,
She lives in the curve of my body,
And, the soft lines on my face.

I hear her voice in the song of wind
Lifting poplar leaves.
She is in the call of hawks, grand and resonant,
She echoes in the sweet, simple sound
of my child's laughter.

I smell her when the breeze
Carries the scent of spring,
Cherry blossoms, lilacs, petunias.
She is there in fall,
In the crisp air, the fragrance of earth preparing to rest,
The taste of tart apples, sweet plums,
A bountiful harvest.
She is in the taste of salty tears
Filled with sorrow or joy.

I feel her in the cool of rain on my skin,
In the warm sun, the tingle of breeze,
A lover's touch.
She is in my heart, each and every beat,
I feel her reflected in the love I have
For family, friends,
Nature.

She is not hidden, silent or withdrawn,
She is everywhere and everything,
She is around me, beside me,
Inside me.

She is Mother.

Julie email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777580272114173925.post-89420822540582206422015-05-06T06:07:00.000-07:002015-05-06T06:32:27.476-07:00Feral ThoughtsSome days, ideas come to me like a spring rainstorm. Thoughts drop and pelt my brain until they flow over into my fingers and onto my screen. I cannot type fast enough as my thoughts race ahead of me, looking back, urging me to hurry.

Other day, ideas avoid me- wild, feral cats who want nothing to do with my tame brain. I chase them, getting oh, so close. Just as I'm about to touch one, grab it's striped tail, it scurries away and hides beneath a rock. Then, I sit, hands still, hoping one of them will wander over and join me. They stay back, watching me warily, sending an occasional hiss my way.

Today is a cat kind of day. And, I really don't like cats.

(I'm definitely a dog person.)

Julie firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777580272114173925.post-77366516255589075082015-04-17T07:00:00.000-07:002015-04-17T07:00:06.947-07:00Random FridayIf my dog ever runs away, I'll know it's because when he tries to jump on our bed and fails, we laugh at him. (It really is funny.)

My son volunteered to wash dishes last night. (*ahem* teenage son) This makes me so happy I can hardly stand it.

As soon as I leave the room, the Handy Man turns the TV to ESPN or some other sport-report-clip-thing. When he leaves, I turn it to news. Or search to find an episode of The Big Bang Theory. Or Friends.

All the times that I've gotten a flat tire, only once has it happened on the road. Every other time, it's been at home. I'm just lucky that way.

Maverick now has styrofoam cups for my diet Coke. I feel a bit like they did this just for me. Because I'm probably their best customer.

I am obsessed with Sam Smith. Ob. Sessed. I have four of his songs on my phone and I listen to them daily. It makes me feel a bit less 'out of it' and old. (This one is my favorite!)

Julie firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777580272114173925.post-18809924897556915702015-04-16T12:48:00.000-07:002015-04-16T20:04:54.497-07:00My Heart

This girl has my heart. (Yes, all of my children do. Of course.) But there is something undeniable about the connection between female hearts and minds. Our spirits are entwined in eternities. A golden thread binds us. From the moment the ultrasound tech said those magical words, "It's a girl." my soul has known her. My daughter. My sister. My friend.

A couple of years ago Sadie decided to go on a mission. Often, when people heard this, their reactions were heavily seasoned with doubt.
"Oh, you're thinking of going?"
 "Yeah, we'll see."
Or her favorite, "You'll be married by then."

Others may have doubted. I never did. And neither did she.

After months of getting 'stuff' done, including getting her wisdom teeth pulled, her papers were finally submitted three weeks ago. And then we waited.

One week ago, the big white envelope arrived.

Now, most missionaries have some place they hope to go. Most of them are wishing for exotic locations and new languages to learn. My girl was no different. I worried silently that her call would be a disappointment if she stayed in the states. I prayed that she would know, no matter where, that she'd been called to the right place.

That night we gathered, my kids, my parents, a couple of friends, and watched with bated breath for her to tear open the envelope and begin to read.

"Sister Sadie Diane DeMille, You are hereby called to serve in the Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh mission."

It isn't a foreign mission, but for a girl who hasn't traveled much, it is a world away. She's thrilled. And, she got one other wish--to leave soon. She departs on May 20th. A short forty days away.

The next month will be filled with preparations, shopping, packing and trying to fit in all those movies we wanted to watch together (and almost an entire season of Downton Abby!) I haven't cried. Yet. I'm reveling in the newness and the excitement. I'm forcing thoughts of her being gone for 18 months from my mind. There will be time for tears later.

For now I will spend as much time as possible with her. I will soak her in, her smiles, her laughter, her kindness, her testimony. I will try to store up as much of her as I can to keep me going when she's not just a door away. And when she leaves, I will let her go and I will wait patiently for my heart to return.Julie email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777580272114173925.post-34491956464429650022015-04-09T06:41:00.001-07:002015-04-09T06:41:15.502-07:00Spring Break in My HeadThe school's spring break happened last week-- we all stayed home. Which of course is no break for me. I spent a lot of time on social media and got to see all the people who did fun things during the kids' week off. A couple friends took their families to southern Utah, and some went to California. Someone even went to Hawaii.

Hawaii?

You know, that's not so great. I hear Hawaii is highly overrated. Palm trees and beaches. Whatever.
I mean, we're cool, too. We did lots of fun things during our week. I loved it. I wish it had lasted longer. Yeah, like a whole other week, cuz, you wouldn't believe what we did.

My kids played video games...I mean, they played in a video game tournament. Yeah. And they won. And it was just the state level and now we get to go to nationals. Yeah. That's it.

And, we watched TV, uh, no, we were on TV. Yeah. They were filming High School Musical- the Ten Year Reunion and we were, you know, extras. We danced and... we sang. I'm a really good singer, Zac Ephron said so. Yep, when the movie comes out, look for us.

Also, we colored eggs, er, I mean, we dipped our eggs in gold. Yeah. Pure gold. And we donated them to the less fortunate kids who only get regular eggs. We're really philanthropic like that.

One day, we went swimming in the pool with dolphins... and sharks. Yeah. In fact, we fed dolphins to the sharks. And, I got this really cool shark tooth when one of them bit my chain mail suit. Yeah. I made it into a necklace. I'm wearing it right now. Too bad you can't see it.

And, to top it all off, I got a massage. From...Michael Buble, yep, Michael. He's a really good masseuse and he sang to me while he massaged. It was very relaxing.

What did you do on your break? Bet it wasn't as cool as ours.

Julie firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777580272114173925.post-18182440816085790542015-04-06T13:18:00.000-07:002015-04-06T13:18:28.333-07:00I Am a Soul

"You don't have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body."
(C.S. Lewis)

I am a soul, or a spirit. And, as a spirit, I am eternal and glorious. I was given a body to house that spirit, and, someday, my body will be as eternal and glorious as the celestial soul it encompasses.

This is one of those truths that I have to relearn over and over. So I think it bears repeating.

Our bodies are important. If not, Satan wouldn't care what we did with them. But he does.
If Satan had a 'hit list' of the things he attacks, we could agree that the family is at the top. I believe that our bodies run a close second for a couple of reasons-

First- he doesn't have one. He's quite the jealous type, you know. Our bodies are something he will NEVER have. Man, that has got to tick him off. And, if you can't have something, and you're basically a hot-head, you don't want those who do have that something to enjoy it. You'd like nothing more than for them to dislike or even despise it. You'd want them to think badly about it, to abuse it, to put it down and try all kinds of drastic means to change it. You'd use drugs, alcohol, sex, plastic surgery, food and peer pressure to get people to destroy their temples. And, if you have the media to help you, all the better.

Second- Our bodies have power. We have the power to create. We can create art and literature, music and dance, buildings, technology, really, the possibilities are endless. Most importantly, we can create life. Living, breathing human temples to house more glorious spirits. And, through that, we create families. Which brings us right back to number one on his hit list. He can't create anything, except turmoil, which doesn't really count.

I am a soul. I have a body. I am choosing to love this body, faults and all. I pledge to care for it and give it the respect it deserves. It may not be glorious, yet, but it has the potential and the promise that someday it will be.
Julie firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777580272114173925.post-7129334550391041092015-03-18T21:07:00.001-07:002015-03-18T21:07:14.820-07:00Keep Your Hands and Arms Inside at All Times

Have you ever had those times, when life is like an easy chair? All comfy and soft and warm. You are relaxed and happy and-- gosh! why not put your feet up? Sigh. Easy.

What you may not have noticed, as you sit there with your chips and diet Coke, is the five-point harness strapped around you. And the click-click-click of the track beneath you. Oh, and the fact that you're view is suddenly filled with sky and clouds.

Hang on, hon, because this ride is about to get real.

I started my day like usual with a few of my kids hanging out on my bed. I was on my laptop and from the corner of my awareness, I heard my son, Max, making a weird sound.

"Stop it. Please." (I was being very calm and patient.)

"I can't."

I turned to look at him and my heart dropped. His head kept making involuntary jerks while his mouth made a 'tch' sound.

"I don't know why I'm doing it."

Stroke. Seizure. Tourrettes. A lifetime of teasing. All these possibilities ran through my head. My calm ran away from me like a feral cat. So, I did what any self-respecting non-medical person does. I googled it. Apparantly, motor tics are common in children. Really? Do you know any kids who have them? I don't.

I let him stay home from school, wondering if I'd set a terrible precident. If this continued, he couldn't stay home everyday. I don't have either the patience or the skill set to homeschool. And Max is a social kid. He needs his friends.

I called the doctor. We went in and his exam was completely normal. (With the exceptions of the head jerks, which had calmed somewhat.) The pediatrician suggested he go off his ADHD meds for a couple of days. Perhaps a change in doseage, or a change in medication would help. Mostly, we're at a point of 'wait and see'.

So, my Lazy-boy is now screaming down the incline and into a dark tunnel. Wind in my hair, stomach in my throat, I am holding on for dear life. I can't see the way ahead, but because I've been on this ride for a while, I know there are plenty of twists and turns to come. It's terrifying and thrilling at the same time. But hey, it's life, meant to be lived, struggles and pain, success and joy.

Besides, sitting all comfy and warm just leads to a wider seat. Julie firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777580272114173925.post-66841906723428190952015-03-16T09:25:00.000-07:002015-03-16T09:25:23.513-07:00My Imperfect Faith

"In moments of fear or doubt or troubling times, hold the ground you have already won, even if that ground is limited...hold fast to what you already know and stand strong until additional knowledge comes."

General Conference is in 20 days. (Twenty!) I love conference. It's the highlight of my year..half year? It happens twice a year, so whatever. It's a highlight. We get to stay home in our jammies and, as my kids say, "Watch church on TV." As I say- I get to sit at the feet of prophets and hear what they know I need.

And I need it. Every time. Each talk is good. Each one inspired. But, there's always one or two that seem to have been written just for me. And when I hear that talk, and it touches the depths of my soul, and my question is answered, then I know- He's listening.

In preparation for conference, I decided to watch a previous talk everyday. Today's talk was by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland on faith. I remember when he gave this talk. I remember his impassioned voice and the way he got emotional. I got emotional too. Because he spoke of faith and how we don't have to have 'perfect faith', that there is nothing wrong with admitting we have doubts, but that it is imperative that we lead with the faith we possess.

 "I am not asking you to pretend to faith you do not have. I am asking you to be true to the faith you do have."

I have faith. It isn't perfect. Sometimes I think it's small compared to others. But, it's okay. I have to cling to the faith I have and 'journey on', knowing that each day as I work and pray and do the things I know are right, my faith will grow.
 My faith is enough.
It's enough to get me out of bed each day, knowing there will be struggles. It's enough to teach my children truth. It's enough for them to lean on until they have faith of their own. It's enough to give of myself when I feel like there's no more to give. It's enough to help me be patient in waiting, trusting that the answers will come.

It is enough.

(Click HERE for the talk by Elder Holland.)Julie email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777580272114173925.post-34857498550236425042015-03-11T09:56:00.000-07:002015-03-11T09:56:31.950-07:00Hello AgainHelloooo my five readers!! Are there still five of you? Ah, crap! It's been so long I'm sure I've lost one or two. My bad.
Anyway, today I am returning to the blogging world. (I know, you probably don't believe me because I've said that a few too many times.) But, this time I mean it!
Why?

Well, I quit my *job for one thing. Yeah, I thought, what the heck, this extra income thing is for the birds. I should just stay home again. And so I am. I was hoping to do 'something' to replace said extra income. Still working on that. Until then, it's Ramen for dinner kids! (They don't mind. They actually like ramen for dinner, which makes me wonder if they're actually my children after all.)

Also, I miss writing. I've been writing, if you call editing a novel writing. It is, I guess, but it's much harder and much less fun than real writing. And I miss getting comments that make me feel like I have some talent. I don't get those from editing. All I get from editing is a headache. And indigestion.

So here I am. Blogging. And hoping to hold on to my five? Four? Three readers!! Don't let me down, people. Let me know you're still here.

And, because you're here, and because I love you, here's a list of the reasons I had a love/hate relationship with my job.

Loved the customers. Especially the old men. They're sweet and not afraid to flirt with a middle-aged woman and make her day.

Hated the snobby customers who were all, "These are very expensive, special clothes. You be very careful, clean these separately." (Yeah, yeah, lady. Just don't watch me as I drop them in with all the unspecial clothes.)

Loved my co-workers.

Hated checking all the pockets in suit coats and pants. "Let's see what treasures you left in there for me. Oh, gum, and what the heck are these crumbs from? Are you eating crackers at church??"

Loved the smell of the place. Clean and fresh.

Hated ironing. Remember when you were a little girl and ironing seemed so fun and you would use your wooden iron and pretend to iron your baby dolls clothes? Well, ironing a couple hundred shirts a day is not. the. same. I often felt like I was in a bad Macbeth play- "Out, out damn wrinkle!"

Loved the schedule. I was here to get my kids to school and home before they returned.

Hated that I couldn't wear my pj's to work.

Loved making fun of people for their fashion choices.

Hated that seeing all those clothes made my closet look positively pitiful. I mean, seriously, who has 21 dress shirts? And who can afford to have all their clothes cleaned and pressed by someone else? Not this girl.

Hated that after doing laundry all day at work, I had to come home and do laundry there. Something messed up about that.

*I worked at a dry cleaners for 7 months. Did you know the majority of the stuff people bring to the dry cleaners isn't actually dry cleaned? It's put into a big ole washing machine and dryer. Just like the one you have at home. Heh.Julie firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777580272114173925.post-65418848020807349882015-01-29T22:52:00.001-08:002015-01-30T06:23:27.168-08:00Simple Needs

I have simple needs. Sleep, food, diet Coke, the Handy Man. These are basic needs in my life. Basic. Without any of them, I would very quickly stop functioning.

Oh. I forgot laughter. I need this. Every. Day.

There are scientific studies about the benefits of laughter and how it increases endorphins and makes your brain sharp and cleanses your colon- or something like that. (Maybe not the colon part.)

I can tell you very unscientifically that laughter makes you feel good.

Take tonight for example.

I spent three hours with several friends who I don't see near enough. We talked about families and jobs and babies and maybe a little about sex. And we laughed. Oh, man, did we laugh. (Because sometimes sex is funny.)

But we're friends, so that means we also talked about the other stuff. The hard things and struggles. The things that make us doubt ourselves and those that make us cry. It's good to have friends who understand, (and who, if they don't understand, nod and smile anyway). And during our discussions about the challenges of life, we said funny things and made jokes. And we laughed some more and the hard stuff seemed a bit easier to take and we all realized that we could go back home and face it.

Because sometimes, amid the stuff, we can take a break and sit with friends. And laugh.

Julie email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777580272114173925.post-84070569768930866642015-01-22T15:57:00.000-08:002015-01-22T15:57:43.697-08:00Own It.If someone asked me if I was a good cook, I would answer quickly, without hesitation. (I might even puff out my chest a bit.) "Heck, yeah, I am."

I have no problem admitting that. None. Yet, if someone asked me if I was a good writer, I'd pause. "Well… other people have said that I am." Then I'd probably follow up with, "I'm not published or anything."

Why? Why not say what I want to say- "Yes. I am a damn good writer." (Because I am.)

I think there's too much self-depreciation in our humility. We're afraid that if we say we're good at something others will see us as conceited instead of confident. But this kind of humility doesn't do anyone any good.

One of my favorite quotes supports this idea-

"We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God."*

Perhaps we should ask ourselves what God would think of our false humility. Since He is the One who gave us our gifts, who knows better than anyone how talented we are, who wants more than anything for us to develop ourselves and shine in this dark world, He is the One who would want us to own who we are and what we can do.

"Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. "

You serve the world by being confident. A confident person lifts others with their talent and knowledge. They aren't boastful or proud, but they also aren't afraid to share what they have.

"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

You have a light within you. Don't snuff it out. Accept it. Own it. Let it shine, and as you do, others will feel the confidence to do the same.

*Quote by Marianne Williamson's book A Return to Love. Read the entire quote here.

Julie email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777580272114173925.post-24200852953902758892014-12-21T10:41:00.001-08:002014-12-21T10:41:17.051-08:00Pushing at the Darkness(I originally wrote this two years ago. But, the message is still true- the light is on its way.)

Darkness terrified me. As a child it was all that was wrong. You couldn't see and in the midst of that unseen world were monsters. Real or imagined, it didn't matter. A child's mind has trouble differentiating between the two. I avoided it, hid under the covers and ran from it.

Now, I can handle physical darkness. I can find my way through the shadows without so much as bumping my shin. I don't mind the night, there are times when it is welcome.
It's the other darkness that worries and overwhelms me. The kind that comes from within.

This year has been one of joy and discovery. I've made new friends and learned so much. Yet, amid the happiness and good things, there was also some blackness. It slinked in without me knowing and suddenly I was enveloped in the gloom. My blood ran like ink, making my heart heavy and slow. My hands hung down, useless and empty. The murkiness sucked at my feet, making each step a chore. I felt helpless.

When you're in the darkness, you have only two choices--wallow, or move forward. I pushed against the darkness and chose to move. As difficult as the motion was, I kept at it. The night could not go on forever.

This morning was the winter Solstice. I've never given the day much thought before. But, a couple weeks ago, Tara, at Faith in Ambiguity, wrote about celebrating the Solstice. She shared such beautiful insight about the morning that follows the longest night-

"To me, Solstice is the essence of the true religion of December. We meet the dark, it seems to encompass everything and then, in that nadir of blackness, new promise is reborn. This physical fact seems to me to hold the key to understanding our lives. It may be black as ink now. Yes, it is darkest, but wait just a minute and see...Wait one more minute and you will see."

Wait one more minute and you will see. Those were the words my tired soul needed. The image thrust hope into my mind and heart. The light had been streaming slowly, steadily back into my life and, now, I knew I need only embrace it.

So, this morning, I went to my backyard, ready to welcome this new day. It was so symbolic for me, I was almost giddy at the thought. I sat in my chair, hot chocolate in hand, and waited breathless for the dawn.

As I watched, I pondered the light and the symbolism it held. Today, I waited for the sun, but what I'd already experienced was the light of the Son. He had been there for me during my darkest hours. I knew He was near and that, when no one else could, He understood. When I stood in the shroud of darkness, I felt Him next to me, pointing to the horizon. "You see, it's there. Just a glimpse right now, but the sun is rising and the light is on its way."

As the rays broke over the mountain, my heart thrilled at the sight. How many sunrises have I lived through? Never noticing, never giving it a glance. But this one was different. Today, the aurora mirrored my life. I could feel my soul reflecting the brilliance. This was more than a sunrise, more than a new day. This was my new beginning, full of promise and hope.

Happy Solstice.

Julie firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-5777580272114173925.post-25893335861328624162014-12-08T09:01:00.001-08:002014-12-08T09:01:51.976-08:00A Rare MorningShhhh.

My house is empty. It's so quiet. I am all alone.

If I'm dreaming, please don't wake me.

I'm not dreaming. My boss asked me if I could work a later shift today. I told her yes before even considering what it meant.

It meant a morning to myself.

After I agreed, the numbers hit me. The kids would leave for school and I would have two and a half hours all alone. That's 150 minutes with no fighting or food fixing or remote finding. Just me and the dog and whatever I chose to do.

Oh. My. What to do?

I could deep clean the kitchen (that fridge!). I could fold clothes. (hahahahahaha!) There's some crafts I've been wanting to get to and I could paint without little fingers wanting to help.
I. Could. Sleep.
The possibilities were almost endless. But, in the end there's only one thing I wanted that is so much easier without all those distractions I love so much.

I could write.

And, so I am. I'm writing here. (Does this mean a return to regular blogging? I'm not promising anything.) And I'm working on my current book. (Dragons!)

And, I'm thinking. Thinking about all the time I had. The days on weeks on months and years where I stayed home and squandered the empty hours. I'm trying not to beat myself up over it. Learn from it and move on.

And take advantage of every opportunity.

Julie firstname.lastname@example.com


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Today's the Row For The Red Cross. I'll be doing my first Marathon in about one hour from now...
Nervous. Excited. Anxious. And very, very thankful for the incredible support I've gotten from everyone.
I'll post again later to log my meters and let everyone know how it went.
Wish me luck!
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Today's the big day!
Posted by Jeff at 6:05 AM
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Upcoming Showsno upcoming shows listed
No articles found
Past Shows
Sat. April 29th 2017
@ Imagine Studio Café (All Ages)5 KEY TREE OLLY HUB, Brad Hawkes
Available for Shows/Gigs - Confirmed: Mar. 2, 2018 (Awaiting Update)
Label: Tar Sounds
from Victoria BC
Contact DetailsOliver Mitchell
Olly Hub , guitars, vocals & songwriting was called Oliver Mitchell till 2017.
He formed the bands ZINC GIZMO, The GRUNTLES & OYA and has been performing on Vancouver Island since 1990.
Olly has developed a system of playing that is called " The 5 KEY TREE ",
that is both helpful in improving technique as well as in energetic grounding.
Many musicians have shared the stage over the years.
No audio samples have been linked to this profile.
No member roster has been entered (to link to musician profiles.)
Status: Available for Shows/Gigs
- Last confirmed Mar. 2, 2018


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hi guys I just got adobe after effects cs5.0 and I am trying to installed it when a message comes up telling me that this version is a 64 bit software and cannot work on my system which means that I have a 32 bit system which is true. can you please tell me the version which is 32 bit so it can work on my system.
CS3, I'm not too sure about CS4. You would have seen that it was 64bit when you bought it surely or the salesman would have told you!
Not only will CS5.0 not work on a 32-bit system, you don't have nearly enough RAM. Didn't you check the minimum system requirements? Apparently not if you didn't catch the 64-bit requirement.
CS4.0 will work with XP but still requires 2GB RAM.


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Download the presentation brochure
Dear prospective sponsor,
We have the pleasure to inform you that the Lille 2 University of Health and Law, Faculty of Law, Politics and Social Science, will host the XIII. Spring Meeting of Young Economists (SMYE) from April 17 to 19, 2008. This highly renowned conference has the long-standing goal to integrate the community of young economist. The SMYE regularly attracts PhD students, Post-doctoral Researchers, and young lecturers across all economic disciplines and from all over the world, its focus however is on Europe. It provides them with a pan-European platform to gather, present their work, and share their ideas when they are just at the beginning of their academic careers.
Initiated in Berlin, the SMYE is held on an annual basis since 1996. The first few meetings took place in Germany. In 1999 the conference was staged in Amsterdam and since then in Oxford, Copenhagen, Paris, Leuven, Warsaw, Geneva and Seville. It is the first time since 1998 that the event will be held in Germany again.
Over the past years, the SMYE has developed into an event of high academic standard. This has been reflected in the increasing number of applicants, a consistently high quality of papers presented, and the ability to attract world-class economists and later Nobel Prize Laureates as keynote speakers. At SMYE 2008, keynote lectures will be delivered in particular by Omer Moav.
The SMYE is an independent conference organized for young economists by young economists. For our budget estimated in the amount of 30,000 we rely on sponsorship. We would like to use this opportunity to invite your company to become one of the sponsors of SMYE 2008. We offer sponsors various options to present their company or institution. Through these options sponsors will have a unique opportunity to appeal to economists and business doctoral students interested in the conference.
Should the you decide to support SMYE 2008:
a) Your logo will be displayed on the conference web-site (with link to the sponsors web-site). The web-site will be visited by all those who apply to the conference and more broadly by those who express interest in it.
b) Your logo will be displayed within the conference book of abstracts handed to every delegate.
c) If you decide to support the conference before the 30th September 2007 your logo will be placed on posters and leaflets advertising SMYE 2008. These will be distributed among all major European Universities and research centres.
Below we present a list of detailed sponsorship options. Of course we shall be happy to consider any alternative you may propose.
1. "Your name here Best Paper Award" (5000)
Foundation of a prize in the amount of 1000 for the best paper presented in the conference. You enjoy a distinguished position as a sponsor (own page of advertisement in the Book of Abstracts, prominent mention on website and posters, acknowledgement of your institutions support at the opening session and at the awards ceremony).
2. "Your name here Keynote Lecture" (5000)
Sponsor of the talk of a world-renowned economist. Your company or institution is especially acknowledged as a sponsor before the Keynote Lecture and on the SMYE website, on posters and in the Book of Abstracts.
3. "Your name here Conference dinner" (5000)
A gala dinner will be organised with all the participants as well as the keynote lectures in a prestigious restaurant in Lille. You will be associated to this event with your own page of advertisement in the Book of Abstracts, prominent mention on website and posters and acknowledgement of your institutions support at the opening session and at the session before the dinner.
4. "Sponsor of the SMYE 2008" (2500)
Display of your institution's logo on the conference material and on the SMYE website. Furthermore, we would be happy to equip the SMYE homepage with a link to your home and/or recruitment pages. If you decide to support the conference before 30th September 2007 your logo will be placed on posters and leaflets advertising SMYE 2008. These will be distributed among all major European Universities and research centres.
5. "Your name here-Eastern-Europe-Scholarships" (2000)
Your provide scholarships covering travelling costs for participants from Eastern Europe, who do not get any financial support from their institutions.
As mentioned above, we are willing to consider any other sponsorship opportunities such as the exclusive sponsorship of the whole conference or of a social event for the participants. We will be very happy to provide you with any further information or documentation you might require and are open to all suggestions you might have regarding your institution's participation in the conference. If you are interested to support our work or to obtain more detailed information about the possibilities of sponsorship, please contact us at [email protected].
The SMYE Board as well as the SMYE Local Organizing Committee thanks all sponsors for their generosity.
SMYE 2008 Local Organizing Committee


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How to Draw Almost Every Day Book Giveaway
How to Draw Almost Every Day: An Illustrated Sourcebook by Kamo is a 224 page paperback released October 1, 2017 from Publisher: Quarry Books. The author, a Japanese artist living in Tokyo, shows you how to use the activities of everyday life as inspiration to create simple yet charming illustrations, journal style. The exercises begin January 1 and continue every day for a whole calendar year ending December 31 for a total of 365 prompts. Enter for your chance to win it. Giveaway ends 1/11/2018.
This offer is only valid for residents of:
- Canada
- United States


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I realized that I haven't discussed much about how our family eats, or why we eat the way we do. It was a year ago where Ben & I took on a challenge for 30 days, where we eliminated all dairy, grains, legumes (yes peanuts too), & sugars (both refined & natural sources like honey & maple syrup).
How We Began Eating This Way
We workout at Jogo Crossfit, which I have talked about before. Many Crossfitters eat Paleo, which is essentially eating optimum meat products, veggies, limited fruit & nuts, and good fat sources. A year later I have found muscles I didn't know existed, inches diminished, & stomach problems ceasing, which were normally blamed on anxiety. I have found that what I have chosen to put into my body is critical to my output. Not only my body, but our daughters as well, specifically our nearing five year old.
Why Eliminating Foods Should Be the First to Evaluate
One of the best questions we as parents can ask, when our children have learning delays or emotional/behavioral problems is, "What am I feeding them?" Our oldest daughter has Sensory Processing Disorder. With children and/or adults with immune disorders, SPD, ADD/ADHD, we can see how gluten & casein can be enemies to their system. For us, eating this way is more about optimum health & continuing development. Too often, one might disregard grains, dairy, legumes or sugar as culprits, because their symptoms are not "typical" (i.e. diarrhea, weight gain/loss, hives, headaches); rather, it might be in anxiety, depression, dull aches, etc. I would encourage eliminating foods like grains & dairy.
What I Found Out About My Body
I found myself suffering from constant anxiety & fear, due to consistent stomach knots in the evening. Once eliminating these inflammatory foods, my stomach knots & anxiety ceased. Sugar is huge for me. It's about finding out what affects our body & what does not. Corn can tear my system up, while rice instantly causes bloating. Gluten affects my reproductive system (the feeling of needing to nurse with the last nursing over a year & half ago). I was only able to find this out after eliminating grains/legumes/dairy/sugars. I also have found that I can tolerate soaked legumes, mild doses of refined sugars, heavy whipping cream or whole milk (in smaller doses).
What CAN I Eat?
Well, I can eat anything I want. The real question is what I choose to eat. Do I follow a strict Paleo diet? No I don't. Our journey began by following Whole30 of the Whole9blog, but I'm not willing or wanting to follow the guidelines they have set out (more on that later). And although I've been eating this way for over a year, I still have to explain that our eating isn't as constrictive as one might think. This is in part, due to my love of cooking & baking. Eating this way does require one to prepare & cook many foods from scratch, which puts more work on me & there are nights where we are eating eggs again. However, I do enjoy a cooking/baking challenge & creating recipes. We eat:
- pastured eggs from our friends & a local farmer, with beautiful orange yolks. Pastured eggs are from chickens who eat off the open pasture. Eating the buggies allows for eggs rich in Omega-3. Don't believe the lies of eggs being bad for your cholesteral. Pastured eggs are excellent for increasing your good cholesteral.
- grass-fed beef & pastured pork. Our meat coming from grass-fed and/or pastured farms, ensures that the animal is getting what nature intended. Cattle was never meant to eat anything other than grass. By eating grass, they are providing their bodies with Omega-3 rich meat, which in return is providing us with the same.
- vegetables & in season & local is first priority, winter months we get a veggie delivery
- fruits are ones in season & local as well, but I make some exceptions. We try to stick to buying & eating berries in the summer, apples & pears in fall & early winter, & utilize frozen fruit as well.
- limited nuts like walnuts, almonds, pecans, hazelnuts, & cashews (which are technically a legume), the best is to soak all nuts to break down the phytates, which are enzyme inhibitors.
- Fats: Extra virgin coconut oil is our fat of choice. Although it has a low smoking point, due to coconut's origins in the tropics, it can withstand extremely high heat. It is a monosaturated fat, which means it is a one bond fat chain & your has the ability to break it down. We also use full fat coconut milk. Avocados & nut butters.
- Extra virgin olive oil sold in metal cans. We don't cook with olive oil over high heats, because it has a low smoke point & leaches off free radicals/toxins into the air you inhale & your body through ingestion. Once the smoke point reaches 200-225 degrees, the toxins begin releasing. Olive oil in anything other than metal tins deteriorates, due to light exposure. Buying it in metal tins protects it from turning rancid.
- Dairy: Grass-fed unsalted butter, pastured heavy whipping cream
- Sugars: honey, maple syrup, coconut sugar, some dried fruit (particularly dates)
- Bake: using blanched almond flour, almond meal, coconut flour,
- Additionals: I use baking soda, arrowroot flour in place of cornstarch
***My Disclaimer: Our family doesn't always eat strict Paleo in the Whole30 sense, or even the Paleo sense. I can have cheeses that don't upset my system & dairy. I make my own cultured yogurt, buttermilk, and have begun in other cultured dairy arenas. I have the occasional ice cream as well. When not pregnant, I drink wine. We find what works for us and then pull in the reigns when what we think was working...doesn't.
This is what we've found what works for our family. In the last year I went from weighing 194 to 164. I have decreased my Body Fat% & increased my lean body mass. With Crossfit & the heavy emphasis on weighlifting, one's protein intake is needed to rebuild their body, specifically through animal protein. I have never felt better than in my 30s, and I know it's due to exercise & eating real foods.
Please feel free to ask any questions, or share your own story of success!


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In the face of a recent job offer still sitting on the table (with its $10k/year salary increase), I have decided to move forward with my "community enrichment" for the Town of Fort Myers Beach. I want to see the island attract new residents, businesses and visitors; I want to see pride prevail over grumpiness. For now, I'm starting a volunteer effort to try and get the positive ideas going. There is a lot of bad blood flowing around this island - people bearing the scars of administrations past. I have worked hard for all the residents and business owners of this island for 3 years, and I want to see their government work for them as well.
I don't know if that job is something I want or not. On one hand, I don't want to move 2 hours away, leave my family and the security of my current job. On the other hand is $10,000.
I am a charitable person. I like to think that I am kind and giving and that I help people. As such, I don't know if I can up and leave this public service and "abandon" the people I serve.
I know this blog is confusing. I will have to write more tomorrow - time to go home to Gizmo!
Life in Florida.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
So, here we go...
Posted by watchingpuddles at 2:08 PM
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Blog Archive
- Some Very Pathetic Sharks...
- Woman Slashed To Death For Beer Money
- More Details on the Animal Abuse Case
- Drunken North Fort Myers Family - ALL ARRESTED!
- Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I'm out...
- Florida Crackerin'
- People who aren't worth their weight in cow shit.....
- So, here we go...
- Just a short note...
- Welcome to ... here.
- ▼ September (10)
About Me
- watchingpuddles
- Ummmm... Well, you know, my mood changes every day, and I always have a new obsession. Today, I don't know what to write here.


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Confirmed: Increase in Part-Time Work is Long-Term Shift in Corporate Strategy
A new report by the Economic Policy Institute confirms that there has been a structural change in low wage employment toward part-time work. This is apart from cyclical changes brought about by normal business cycles or even the Great Recession.
The number of involuntary part-time workers shot up from 4.5 to 9 million during the Great Recession. Although the current levels are 6 million–an improvement from the 9 million during the Great Recession–we have not returned to pre-recession levels. The report states that employers are using part-time work as a cost saving strategy by "systematically creating part-time jobs, with workers filling those jobs despite wanting full-time work."
Beyond the problem of inadequate income, there are indirect costs to the worker, including a diminished career trajectory, nonexistent healthcare and retirement benefits, and inadequate time for parenting.
Involuntary part-time work means that workers have to rely on the safety net or hold multiple part-time jobs, the difficulty of which is compounded by the rising rents in core cities, which has moved lower income families to inner ring suburbs, where transportation tends to be a patchwork.
CLiME previously published a paper detailing both the private and public costs of this practice, which is most prevalent in retail, leisure and hospitality industries, where minority female workers are concentrated.
Costs include the expense of public benefits to cover the shortfall when employers provide inadequate wages, reduced economic activity from low purchasing power, and intergenerational poverty.


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It really has turned in to the week of Theresa Spence. You can question the timing and the way some things happened, but in my opinion, this woman has lost all of her credibility. I actually having a hard time making sense of what happened. First, she refused to allow any reporters into her camp. Next, she personally phoned up to Attawapiskat and forced the removal of a Global News crew. After that, she refused to attend the meeting with the Prime Minister because the Governor General was not going to also be in attendance. This is roughly the equivalent of cancelling your meeting with the CEO of McDonald's because Ronald McDonald can't make it as well. I don't get it.
In the end, I'm not even sure what happened. Some threatened to boycott the meeting (not sure if they did). The Governor General held his own meeting. John A. McDonald took some punishment. And Theresa Spence is still on her hunger strike. The Prime Minister did promise future meetings, so perhaps it was successful after all?
On a slightly smaller scale, but a Global News story showed Theresa Spence driving away in a giant white Hummer (confirmed here). What the hell? How do you drive away from a hunger strike related to environmental demands in a giant white Hummer? I know that this might sound like a joke, but could you honestly take the opinion, any opinion, of a Hummer driver seriously?
In other native news, I don't fully understand what this means, but it looks like a court
decision has expanded the interpretation of "Indians" under the law.
Their word, not mine.
So with all of this First Nations stuff going on this week, this is where it starts to get a bit fishy for me. A story comes out that one quarter of all First Nations are under financial investigation.
Is this just a news organization digging in to an important and timely
story? Or is it a well timed leak to chip away at an opponents
credibility? Either way, it chips away at the First Nations position.
Of course, the National Post keeps publishing anti-Idle No More/Attawapiskat
stories. All of a sudden, they've become real champions for the public
good. They're even complimenting the CBC now. That's the problem with
popular movements. With so much going on there is always, always,
always somebody involved that is doing something wrong. By harping on
one point, critics can take the whole movement down. And the most amazingly awesome thing about the National Post writing a story about a CBC story? All of the commenters talking about how great
it is that the National Post has finally spoken the truth, gotten the
word out and avoided censorship by the "left wing" media.
On to other stuff. A government funded study came out that was able to isolate the "natural pollution" of the oil sands and proved that lakes and rivers in the vicinity of all of this development are in far worse shape than when development started. 23 times worse, actually. Of course, both the Government and the Oil Sands industry don't feel like this is worth any kind of action.
Hey. France solved the World. Way to go guys. You figured out how to bring Muslims and Catholics together. Hatred of the gays!
Disabled veterans have reached a settlement with the government over reduced pensions. Isn't that awesome? MP's with gilded pensions
can decide to claw back the pensions of disabled veterans.
Way to go guys. The Federal Government lost a hard drive with the personal information of a half a million people who obtained student loans.
I'm really jealous of the idea that this blog came up with. She picks
one ridiculously overpriced Vancouver property and then compares it to
the lavish mansions that could be purchased for the same price
elsewhere. The best of lists her favourites for the year (make sure you click through on each one). I think this one is mine.
This article points out something that seems really obvious - We're
leaving a tonne of money on the table by not processing our own crude.
And as we continue to ramp up production we make things worse by
increasing supply and driving the cost down. If we're going to ruin the
planet, why not slow things down a bit, build our own refineries and
pave the path to environmental destruction with fat stacks of cash? I
do not buy the argument that we don't have the money required to build
our own refineries. These companies can come up with billions and
billions to pull the stuff out of the ground but they're too poor to
refine it?
Some documents showed up that suggested Jason Kenney either didn't know what he was talking about or was outright dishonest when he talked about
refugee health care cuts. Not sure which is the better option.
I don't pretend to know much about Haiti. Or what would be best for
them. But this is a pretty depressing take on what is going on there. And when Don Cherry comes out against something, man, you'd better hope you're on the other side of that argument. I wonder what would happen if Don Cherry and Donald Trump got together? Man, I'm going to tweet that.
I was excited when I saw this article on McLean's titled "99 stupid
things the government did with your money" (part I here). But it's kind of a stupid
article. Cherry-picking ridiculous sounding expenses with no context
doesn't necessarily tell the whole story. They really lost me at #4.
Honestly, your #4 waste of taxpayer money is paying Roberto Luongo
$160,000 for an endorsement deal?
This Salon article points out that "conflict free" diamonds might be a bit of a myth.
This is a pretty great snippet of what is going on in the US right now.
In response to the ever-present "I run a small business and I balance
my books. American needs to balance its books" argument:
But let
us try to take Walden's small business analogy seriously. Suppose the
problem is that we're a business whose expenses are outstripping our
income. We propose some measures to correct it — say, cutting expenses
when possible and also working some longer hours. But we have a business
partner who listens to a lot of Rush Limbaugh and has some different
ideas. He says increasing revenue by working longer hours — even a
single longer minute when we have customers waiting in line at closing
time — is totally off the table. He says the answer is to cut our
employees' pay and ban them from taking bathroom breaks. And he also
informs us that, unless we approve the savings ideas he wants, with none
of the savings ideas we want, he'll refuse to pay vendors who have
already delivered things to us, thereby ruining our credit rating
Speaking of the US, everybody seems to be all about comparing Obama to Hitler right now as Obama talks about gun control. This article pretty thoroughly debunks the notion that Hitler limited access to guns as he seized power. I'm sure this will immediately put an end to that silly argument.
I'm sick of all of this gateway drug bullshit. Yes, I would imagine
that a really large number of cocaine/heroine/meth addicts got their
start on pot. But I'd also imagine that before they smoked pot, they
drank alcohol. As well, I'd imagine that a huge percentage of pot
smokers don't go on to become cocaine/heroine/meth addicts. So fuck off
with your gateway drug theory.
Apparently many American weatherpeople don't believe in global warming.
I thought this train of thought would take me further. It didn't. But I put a lot of work into it so I'm going to include it here at the bottom of my post. We have a long history of putting people in power with small amounts of support.
I honestly believe that until we get a system where we have a better
representation of how we actually voted, there is going to be problems.
So, I started looking around to see how many MP's narrowly skated to
victory. The first thing I learned is that it's difficult to find a
nicely summarized presentation of the information. Wikipedia
had a bit, but it was incomplete. Elections Canada was very
difficult to navigate. Finally, I found this guy
that did some analysis
of the Elections Canada data (Unfortunately, he charges to download his
information so I wasn't able to really analyze it). I started by
looking at percentages.
There's a very large number of MP's that were elected with less than
40% of the vote. In a multi party system, that's not all that
surprising. So I started looking more closely at MP's with less than
33.3% of the vote. To me, anybody in power with the support of less
than 1/3 of their constituents is a bit suspect. I was hoping that
somebody had gotten elected with less than 30% of the vote, but it
wasn't to be. But I found a winner. Daniel Petit, a Conservative MP
from Quebec was elected with only 30.3% of the vote in his riding.
Hooray for vote splitting. Then,
I looked at vote totals. In some of the ridings with large
populations, there are MP's with votes in the 30-40,000 range. I
ignored some of the weird outliers (Territories, Labrador) with
population difficulties and I found that there are two MP's in office
with fewer than 10,000 votes. Both were Liberals. Kevin Lamoureaux
from Manitoba had only 9,097 votes and Sean Casey from New Brunswick had
only 7,292 votes.
Monday, January 14, 2013
The Week of Theresa Spence - Week 89 - Jan 7-14
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KISS MASK WEBZINE Celebrates 40 Years of KISS. Est. 1987
Monday, March 5, 2012
Our Friend and Kiss Fan Tony Whitfeld Passes Away
(Photo collage courtesy Kissonline)
This is very sad for me to report. Our friend, Tony Whitfeld, all around good guy with a huge smile and big Kiss fan lost his battle with cancer and passed away last night. Tony was an exceptional individual, very social, loved and talked about Kiss. If you're a member of the Kiss message boards, then you knew of Tony. Tony never had a bad thing to say about anyone. He will be greatly missed. Tony was 44 years old.
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Today's Market Stats
For the past week we've seen the major indexes testing some important support levels and the choppy sideways consolidation can be viewed as a bullish continuation pattern. But today some of those support levels were broken and there is the potential it will lead to stronger selling. But so far we have only relatively small moves and the bulls could easily recover with another rally on Thursday/Friday.
It was another quiet day for economic reports and the market reacted more to a selloff in the overnight futures after a failed rally attempt. The morning dip was again bought but not as strongly as we saw on Tuesday (and multiple days before that) and the bounce attempt was given back this afternoon. The resulting price action leaves the market looking more bearish than bullish for at least the short term but the bulls can't be discounted yet.
This morning's economic reports that fall into the "inflation" numbers were the export and import prices, both of which rose +0.2% in March. This was down from +0.3% and +0.4% in February so there was some cooling in inflation, which could keep the Fed feeling like they have a little more wiggle room as far as feeling the need to continue rate increases.
The Fed has also been looking at the unemployment picture and the low unemployment number from last week (4.5%) is considered "full employment" and that has had many thinking the Fed has the green light to continue raising rates (higher inflation with full employment would leave them defending themselves if they don't raise rates).
But even as Janet Yellen acknowledged in recent comments (in a Q&A session at the University of Michigan on Monday), the decline in the labor participation rate is a "kind of hidden unemployment." She went on further, saying "We recognize that the unemployment rate itself might be a misleading indicator of the extent of slack in the labor market." It sounds like she's trying to give the Fed some wiggle room.
Another problem with the unemployment rate, which is not something the Fed talks about, is how the number could be wildly off the mark. As reported by Shadow Stats, the "birth-death" model that the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS), which relates to the number of new businesses started and failed, could be "creating" as many as 200K jobs per month. That would leave the actual number of new jobs dismally small.
The problem with the BLS model is that the actual number of businesses starting up has been falling dramatically for the past year. Some of the blame for this is the excessive number of new regulations from the Obama years but much of the blame is purely economics. So the unemployment picture is probably not nearly as rosy as we've been told.
But the Fed continues to communicate a desire to raise rates and/or trim their bloated balance sheet, which could cause higher Treasury rates if there aren't buyers to replace the Fed's demand for Treasuries (lower demand, lower prices, higher yields).
Compounding the problem for the Fed is that they're starting to worry about the stock market's euphoric response to Trump's election. There's been so much hope built into the stock market that that there's a high level of risk if the Trump team doesn't come through. And we're starting to see the air coming out of the hot-air balloon that rose following Trump's election.
All the hopes and dreams for a significant bump in the economy with a decrease in banking and business regulations and business taxes are now starting to crash on the rocks of reality known as Washington politics. Even with a Republican-controlled Congress it's becoming more apparent that Trump has an up-Hill battle on his hands. The stock market rally has been built on the premise that our economy is like a coiled spring, ready for significant growth once Trump enacts his changes.
There was an interesting article written yesterday by an analyst (Patrick Watson) writing for John Mauldin, titled Monumental Gridlock Meets Blind Euphoria, in which he discussed the problem with the euphoric response by the stock market and the reality that's now settling in. In the article he presented a chart done by Gavekal Research that I thought was interesting, shown below.
Coiled for Growth?
You can get more details from the article itself but summarizing, there are four options based on whether the economy is poised for growth and whether or not the Fed will tighten monetary policy aggressively. Considering the difficulty that the government will be able to do anything substantial in the coming year(s) and that the economy is sputtering along (low growth expectations), the higher probability is that the economy is not going to spring higher.
The case Watson made in the article is that the economy is the opposite of a coiled spring for growth. Add in the problem with a Fed that desperately wants (needs) to raise rates and/or trim their balance sheet, the most likely scenario is the 3rd one.
The 3rd scenario above says the Fed will make a mistake (I know, that's hard to believe since it's never happened before, cough) and tighten too quickly when the economy is not ready for it. The deflationary cycle that the Fed will help start means investors should buy the US$, bonds and stable growth stocks. Sell cyclicals, emerging markets and scarcity assets. If you read many of today's investment letters they're saying the complete opposite so the 3rd scenario above is a minority opinion. Oftentimes it's the minority opinion (betting against the masses) that works out the best. Food for thought anyway.
Before getting into stock market index charts I thought it would be good to review what's happening in the VIX, which has been climbing since hitting a low at 10.9 on April 5th. This low coincided with a high for the market on the same day before crashing lower that afternoon (supposedly triggered by the fact that Congress was not going to be able to get the new healthcare plan passed).
Since April 5th we've seen the market struggle to hold on but it has only chopped slightly lower; e.g., SPX hit a high of 2378 on April 5th and a low of 2337 on Tuesday before bouncing back up strongly. That's a measly -1.7% decline for SPX. In the meantime VIX has shot higher, climbing from 10.90 to today's high at 16.16, for a 48% increase. What's prompting the big move in the VIX and is it a strong warning for the stock market bulls?
Yes and no is the answer to the above question. The VIX increase could be related more to the trading in VIX futures but it's still a warning about what the commercial traders are betting on, or perhaps more importantly, what the non-commercial traders (speculators) are betting on.
The two charts below show the VIX and the VIX futures contracts and they tell a story.
Volatility index, VIX, Weekly chart
Tuesday's climb in the VIX broke a downtrend line from the November 4th high through the March 27th high (which coincided with the March 27th low for the stock market). Today it climbed higher and reached one of the "transition" levels at 16 (but did not close over 16). Over the years this level has marked a transition from complacency to creeping fear in the market.
Above 16 would be a warning sign that fear, which is a stronger emotion than greed, is starting to affect trader sentiment. The next level of resistance for the VIX, if it keeps climbing, is a downtrend line from January 2016 (the other peaks were June 27th and November 4th), currently near 19. Note the continuing bullish divergence on the VIX since March 2016.
VIX futures contracts, Weekly chart
Now we look at the VIX futures contracts to see which way the speculators are leaning. As we know, the speculators are typically wrong at major turns and right now they are massively short the VIX as compared to times past. There's a huge open interest in VIX futures but mostly long the VIX and in the meantime the speculators are in one of their largest short positions. Care to guess which way the VIX is likely to go?
A rising VIX, such as we're seeing, is going to cause massive pain for the speculators and as they cover it's going to drive the VIX higher. I think we're seeing that start to play out now and it's likely to continue. How that will translate to a move in the stock market is a big question but a rising VIX is generally not a good sign for the stock market.
The VIX futures and a climbing VIX doesn't mean the market will head immediately lower, especially since the price pattern supports the idea for another run higher, but as long as the professional traders continue to take the opposite side of the speculators in the VIX futures market I'd be very careful about the long side of the stock market.
So what does all this mean for the stock market? Are there any price patterns that tell us to get short the market and hang on for the ride? No, not yet and in fact I could argue for another rally to new highs once the current pullback completes. But that's not clear enough yet to suggest we should be buying the current dip. Unfortunately we'll need to wait for more price action before we'll have a better idea how the market could do over the next couple of months.
S&P 500, SPX, Weekly chart
Other than a couple of opposing large weekly candles since March 1st, all we have are small-range weeks as the bulls and bears fight for control. The only thing the bears have going for them at the moment is the drop back below the trend line along the highs from April-August 2016 (purple line). SPX had jumped above this trend line in February and has been dancing around it after dropping back below the line on March 21st.
Since dropping below the April-August 2016 trend line it has not been able to close back above it and that keeps it looking more bearish than bullish. But a choppy sideways/down consolidation can be argued to be a bullish continuation pattern and a bullish wave count (green) for the rally from February 2016 argues for another leg up once the pullback completes. I see nothing yet to negate that expectation and I'm watching for evidence in the pullback for possible completion (not yet) and a reason (or not) to get long for another (and likely final) rally.
S&P 500, SPX, Daily chart
Today was the first day since November 8th that SPX closed below its 50-dma. SPX broke it intraday on March 27th but then reversed sharply back up and closed above the 50-dma. It has tested it repeatedly since then and many have been calling for buying the dip to the 50-dma since it's generally a good buying opportunity in an established uptrend. Obviously if SPX is unable to recover back above its 50-dma, near 2352, it's going to set off some sell alarms.
In addition to the 50-dma there's an uptrend line from November 4 - March 27 near the same 2354 level. The 20-dma, which has been holding down rally attempts, is declining and is currently near 2357. Because of the choppy price pattern for the pullback from March 1st I have to consider several possible price paths from here (all the dashed lines on the chart) and right now all it means is that trades should be short-term oriented since there is a high risk for more reversals of reversals.
Key Levels for SPX:
- bullish above 2379
- bearish below 2322
S&P 500, SPX, 60-min chart
The bearish short-term patterns calls for an acceleration of the selling and a fast drop to the bottom of a parallel down-channel for the pullback from March 1st, currently near 2304. There's a price projection at 2300 for two equal legs down from March 1st and that coincides with price-level S/R near 2300.
A bullish possibility, other than rallying immediately from here, is for the completion of a small descending wedge for the decline from April 5th, which calls for just one more leg down to about 2327 to set up the next strong rally (bold green). For now, a rally above 2358 would be potentially bullish and a drop below 2322 would negate the bullish wave count and point lower.
Dow Industrials, INDU, Daily chart
The DOW has also broken its uptrend line from November 4 - March 27 (on Tuesday) and today it closed below its 50-dma, near 20644 (it will be near 20650 on Thursday. Also like SPX, MACD appears ready to roll over from at/below the zero line, which would create a sell signal. A drop below its March 27th low at 20412 would point to a possible move down to price-level S/R at 20K.
A rally above its April 5th high at 20888 could lead to a strong rally to the trend line along the highs from May 2011 - March 2015, which will be near 21330 by the end of the month (it will first need to get through 21K to exceed two equal legs up for a bounce off the March 27th low).
Key Levels for DOW:
- bullish above 20,888
- bearish below 20,412
Nasdaq Composite index, COMPQ, Daily chart
The Nasdaq tested its 50-dma on Tuesday and got a strong bounce back up to resistance at its 20-dma. Today it dropped back down to its 50-dma near 5830 but did not close below it. There's still a chance for the bulls to recover but they can't waste any time. The more the Nasdaq beats on support the weaker it will become. If the techs join the blue chips below their 50-dmas it's going to scare more than a few investors out of their positions.
Key Levels for COMPQ:
- bullish above 5937
- bearish below 5769
Russell-2000, RUT, Daily chart
The RUT has been the weakest index relative to its 50-dma and since dropping below it on April 3rd it has only been able to back-test it on Monday and Tuesday. Today's -1.3% decline left a strong rejection from the 50-dma, which leaves it on a sell signal. But like the Nasdaq, the bulls have a chance to save this if support at its uptrend from November 4 - March 27 holds, as it did on April 5th and 6th. At 1359, it closed on the uptrend line today so the bulls can't waste any time. Stronger support is price-level S/R near 1347.
It's possible the RUT has created a shallow H&S topping pattern since the left shoulder was formed back in December. The neckline is currently near 1332 and the downside projection from the pattern is to about 1250. That's just a pattern to consider but it provides downside risk assessment for now.
Key Levels for RUT:
- bullish above 1390
- bearish below 1347
10-year Yield, TNX, Daily chart
There's been buying bonds since March 10th and that has driven yields back down from the December-March double top (with bearish divergence). TNX is now slightly below the valley between the double top (the January 12th low at 2.309) with yesterday's and today's close below 2.3. This confirms the double top and suggests lower yields are coming.
But at the moment TNX has again found support at its broken downtrend line from June 2007 - December 2013, just as it did three times before in January and February. Multiple back-tests, as it's doing, generally don't work out well for the back-test to hold as support weakens and this is the 4th back-test.
The downtrend line is currently near 2.285 (today's low was 2.280) and as long as it holds we could see another bounce. The pattern since last December could be argued to be a bullish continuation pattern, which is why a break of support near 2.28 would suggest the 3rd scenario that Gavekal Research showed on their chart (first chart shown in tonight's wrap) would start to look stronger, especially if the dollar is also rallying with the bond market.
Transportation Index, TRAN, Daily chart
Along with today's losses for the SOX (-1.70%) and BKX (-1.1%), both of which were in sync with their relative weakness today, the TRAN was also a leader to the downside (-1.8%). All of them point to a slowing economy and that's not a good sign for the stock market (back to the Gavekal Research chart). The TRAN's decline follows several days of pushing up underneath its broken uptrend line from June-October 2016, which leaves a bearish kiss goodbye. This puts it on a sell signal that can only be negated with a rally above Tuesday's high at 9218.
As with the RUT and a few other indexes, there is a possible H&S topping pattern playing out, with the neckline from December through the March 27th low. The neckline is currently near 8730 so there's plenty of room for the bulls to pull something together. The downside objective for the pattern will be near 7925.
U.S. Dollar contract, DX, Daily chart
With Monday's strong rally in the US$ it closed above both its 20- and 50-dmas but Tuesday's selling and today's stronger selling has it back down below both MAs, now near and 100.65, resp. This leaves a failed breakout attempt and points to lower prices for the dollar. While I believe the longer-term picture for the dollar is bullish I think it first needs to complete a consolidation pattern off its March 2015 high. A drop down to the $90 area by later this year continues to look like a good possibility. But a rally above its March 2nd high at 102.27 would be more immediately bullish.
Gold Commitment of Traders chart, 2015-April 2017
On Monday I showed a couple of Commitment of Traders (COT) charts to highlight how much of a divergence we currently have between commercial and non-commercial traders in the S&P 500 futures contracts and the oil futures contracts. Both show large net-long positions by non-commercial traders (speculators) and large net-short positions by the commercial traders (professional). This simply highlights the risks in betting on the long side for both.
The same is true for gold, as can be seen with the COT chart below. Gold has been rallying since last December and today it made another new high for its leg up from December. But commercial traders have been building a larger net short position as the rally has progressed. The current spread between speculators, who are in a large net-long position, and commercial traders argue for a top soon in gold.
Gold continuous contract, GC, Daily chart
While the COT report argues caution by gold bugs, I do see at least a little more upside potential. If the rally from December is to achieve two equal legs up we're looking for a rally to 1335.10, shown on the chart. But it met its minimum objective today at 1281.39, with today's high at 1289, which is where the 2nd leg of its rally is 62% of the 1st leg.
Based on its price pattern I see a good chance for gold to reach its downtrend line from September 2011 - August 2016, near its January 2015 high at 1308. It would be more bullish above 1308 but maybe only to 1335. A drop back below its 200-dma, near 1261, would be a bearish heads up and then below its March 30th low at 1241.10 would mean the top of the bounce is in place.
Silver continuous contract, SI, Weekly chart
It could be instructive to watch silver here and see if a continuation of the rally in gold will be supported by silver. It's best to see them in sync when trading one or the other. Silver has now made it up to its downtrend line from April 2011 - July 2016, near 18.58, and now we should soon find out whether or not it will be strong resistance. At the same level is a short-term price projection for the 3-wave move up from December. It's also a test of its March 1st high at 18.51.
Oil continuous contract, CL, Daily chart
Oil pulled back today and while it could make it a little higher, to its shallow downtrend line from January-February, near 54.70, I see enough evidence now to suggest at least a deeper pullback, if not the start of the next leg down. The overall pattern of the bounce off the August 2016 low leads me to believe the bounce will lead to new lows (below the August low at 39.19). But a rally above the February 23rd high at 54.94 could lead to a shot up to 60 before the bounce pattern will be complete.
Economic reports
Thursday morning we'll get some more inflation numbers with the PPI reports. Along with the usual Thursday unemployment numbers we'll also get the preliminary Michigan Sentiment numbers, which are not expected to change much. A lower-than-expected number could upset the market if it's believed the drop in sentiment comes from a loss of hope in what the government will be able to achieve. Friday we'll get the important retail sales numbers, which will shed more light on what the retailers can expect. We'll also get the CPI data.
The pullback pattern from the highs on March 1st has been a choppy affair and as such it can easily be argued that we're getting a bull flag pattern. I've mentioned the potential for a choppy sideways/down pullback correction for most of April and that remains a possibility. It would chew up traders on both sides and is a big reason why I'm suggesting very cautious trading right now and make trades short-term oriented (take profits when offered). The reversals of reversals have left many traders holding the bag (with decaying options positions).
The short-term picture looks more bearish than bullish since some important support levels were broken today after repeated testing of support. That could kick in more selling as stops get hit. But the bulls could still pull another rabbit out of their hat if they hit the market with more buying immediately on Thursday.
The bulls need a rally above Monday's highs (SPX 2366) in order to negate the current sell signal but a rally above Tuesday afternoon's highs (SPX 2354) would be a bullish heads up. The bears just need to keep the bulls away from the buy buttons.
Good luck and I'll be back with you next Wednesday.
Keene H. Little, CMT


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So sad!!!!!! Had to pay for room in cash. Then when we entered our room the bed was not made right, 2 flat pillows, one roll of toilet paper one cup one set of towels one bar of soap and i couldnt take a bath...More
"just tell the manager what you want and he will satisfy your needs. I had the 3rd."
"well I recommend a motel. Crossbay motor inn. The location is cheaper and the room is clean."


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Welcome to episode 33 of the Monster Popcorn Podcast! Ben, Daniel and Mel watched Jon Favreau's Chef this week. Ben kicks off the episode by having the guys discuss their creative passions and the obstacles they face. Then the guys discuss Favreau's excellent indie dramedy all the while craving some tasty Cuban sandwiches.
Are you new to the podcast? Brand new episodes of the Monster Popcorn Podcast are released every other Tuesday here on the site. You can listen using the embedded player above or on iTunes! So be sure to check back here in two weeks or subscribe to the podcast in the iTunes store to bring it right to your computer or mobile device. We'd also appreciate it if you can rate us on iTunes and leave a comment or two! We hope you like the Monster Popcorn Podcast: Episode 33 – Chef! And don't forget, if you guys tweet or share the podcast via Facebook, be sure to include the hashtag #mppodcast!
by Ben McBride
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