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Freak-World: Anthologies
Tales from Freak World By Zero Inspired by "Freak World" by Muzzleruffels
Episode I: Hail to the Demon Queen!
As the simulated sun set at the edge of Dome Seven, the sky blazed red, then turned the dark purple of a bruise. Across the manmade forest and mountainside, day-creatures crept back to their homes, while night-creatures began to stir.
In Castle Despayre, fires and torches blazed to life. The mechanism was simple enough – natural-gas pipes connected to ignition plugs, which in turn were connected to computer-controlled timers. To any observer, though, the effect was startling: from cold, dreary, abandoned daytime ruins, the castle was magically transformed into a fire-lit chateau, ready for the night's revels.
High up, in the tallest tower, Lady Demonique Sangria stirred in her bed. Like the gaslights and hearths, Lady Sangria was timer-operated; when the sun switched off, her systems began booting up. For the first few minutes, she simply stared blankly at the ceiling. Gradually, her limbs began to move jerkily, like a marionette's, as her motor systems performed a series of self-checks. Her long, slender barbed tail detached from the cleverly concealed charging outlet embedded in the mattress, and her leathery black wings fluttered aimlessly. Then at last, her personality software loaded, and the raven-haired succubus closed her eyes, arched her back, and gave a sleepy yawn.
"Mmmmmnnn," she sighed, stretching her long shapely arms and legs. "Nothing like a good day's rest to prepare you for a good night's partying!"
"Mmnh, so true, Mistress," Angelique purred beside her. The petite blonde succubus tightened her arms around her Mistress's waist, snuggling closer as they both warmed up from room temperature. Opening her luminous violet eyes, she smiled up at the larger demoness. "Speaking of which … would you like to pick up where we left off?"
When not in use by a guest, the robot succubi were programmed to seek out other monster-girls and have their way with them. This allowed their own AI's and sexual techniques to develop during downtime, and served as a kind of stress test for themselves and the other units. If a fault showed up, or a part failed during their "play", it could be corrected without inconveniencing a human guest.
"Perhaps later," the Lady replied, giving Angelique a light kiss on the forehead. "First, let's see what the night has brought us."
As she rose from the bed, Lady Sangria began picking up bits of her costume, flung carelessly about the chamber the night before. Like most of the girls' wardrobes, Domique's was entirely useless except for seduction; her gleaming black boots shone in the firelight, and her one-piece suit was little more than a V-shaped piece of black latex, covering her sex and half of each breast but baring everything else. A few silver spikes at the shoulders added flair, and a pair of spike-knuckled elbow-gloves completed the outfit. Dominique was a BDSM fan's wet dream come to life: a seductive, demonic dominatrix, with a programmed personality to match.
Striding confidently across her bedchamber, Dominique stepped out onto the balcony. Already, the sky was darkening from indigo to midnight black. The only light came from the stars, and from the shuttered windows of the village far below. Dome Seven – also called the Black Forest – was meant to represent a European woodland, with a dense pine forest taking up much of the area. A quaint little village was located at the foot of one of the two faux "mountains" – the one on which Castle Despayre sat – while another, taller mountain loomed on the opposite side of the dome. That, Dominique knew, was where the Emerald Dragoness and her daughters dwelled – the succubus's "rivals", whose mountain was the only part of the environment not under Lady Sangria's control.
Like so much in Freak World, of course, it was all just a script. Every now and again, Ladia Sangria would forge an alliance with the werewolf pack and "attack" Dragon Mountain, or one of the dragonesses would carry off a "victim" from the village, provoking Dominique's "wrath". Any damage done would be promptly repaired behind the scenes, and everyone would be back up and running within two or three days, ready to play their parts in the next skirmish of their make-believe feud.
Dominique sighed as she pulled up her itinerary. Thankfully, the event planners hadn't decided to have her start anything tonight; no epic battles (so demanding on her lovely, elegant feminine chassis!), no weird or kinky requests from a particular guest (she hated cleaning up the mess some of those humans made; she usually had one of the zombie girls shamble up and take care of things like that). There were instructions to keep out of the village tonight – one of the guests had requested a romantic tryst with a werewolf woman, and did not wish to be interrupted or seduced by any of the other androids. Other than that, it seemed she and Angelique would be left to their own devices for the evening.
"Well, it appears we're not wanted in town," she said. "The mortals want a nice, quiet evening, with no spectacular visits from the Lady."
Angelique stepped out into the night air, clad in her skimpy fur-collared white costume. "Well, we could always go down into the forest. I'm sure the Slime Queen would be more than happy to receive us. Or we could just make it a girls' night in…." She leaned close, her fingers walking playfully up Dominique's arm, and the taller succubus had a pretty good idea what her minion was planning for the night's festivities.
But Lady Sangria craved variety. Once, she had literally fucked her consort until Angelique's pussy had worn out – and over the following months, had fucked her until Dominique's own had needed a tune-up. She had been with every one of her zombie and homunculus servants in the castle, and had had at least one of every species in the Black Forest.
Suddenly, Dominique's AI made a new and novel connection. "Hmm," she purred. "Darling, I just had an idea."
"What, Mistress?"
"Who in all the land have we not had our way with?"
"Why, no one, Mistress. You are Lady and Mistress of all the land, and all give you honor and respect. Besides, who could possibly resist an invitation to share a bed with you?"
Dominique smirked. "All except the dragonesses."
Angelique froze for several seconds. Though they both shared the same basic chassis design, right down to their CPU's, Angelique's personality was far simpler than her mistress's. She was the cute, supportive little minion, only occasionally leaving her side to attend to guests, or when Dominique decided to go off on her own.
Finally, the full import of Dominique's words was parsed through her semantic algorithms, and her eyes widened in shock. "You want to go to Dragon Mountain? But Mistress, the dragonesses are our mortal enemies! They will kill us both on sight!"
"The Makers haven't planned any battles tonight, and our last fight was barely more than a drunken brawl in the tavern last weekend." Come to think of it, Dominique recalled the fight: a guest had requested a sexy catfight between Lady Sangria and one of the lesser dragonesses. She could still remember the feel of those warm, supple, partially scale-covered breasts as they had grappled that evening. Truthfully, it was the closest Dominique had yet come to intimate contact with a member of that clan – the feud between her and the Emerald Dragoness had been established as back-story when Freak World had opened.
Dominique felt a smirk forming. "I have a craving for some dragon tail," she purred mischievously. Leaning over the balcony rail, the black-clad succubus unfurled her wings. She climbed up on top of the rail, charged the hydraulic pistons in her well-toned legs, then launched herself off into the night.
Meanwhile, Angelique stood, struck dumb, on the balcony. Her simple, heavily scripted AI was trying to formulate a response to her Mistress's actions. "B-b-but … but, Mistress … illegal thread … solution not found … It's not safe! Safe! Safe!" The blonde demoness took a jerky step toward the railing, then stepped backward, like a video running in reverse. Her role as Lady Sangria's supportive minion demanded that she accompany her, even to certain death, but the very idea of traveling to Dragon Mountain – not to fight, but to actually try to seduce a dragoness – was so totally outside the bounds of her role that she had trouble processing it.
Before the conflicted gynoid could make up her mind, though, a pair of technicians stepped out onto the balcony. One of them grabbed Angelique by the throat with one hand, using the other to push her blonde curls up. This exposed a small, recessed button behind her pointed left ear, which the tech promptly pressed.
"Not safe! Not safe! Not … Mistress … not … saaaaaaaaaaffffe…." the droid protested, her voice deepening, slowing, then trailing off as her personality shut down. Her pretty, wide-eyed face lolled forward, her slack jaw resting between her ample breasts.
Meanwhile, the other technician pressed in on her sides, then pulled off a section of skin from her lower back. Inside, the lithe little succubus was a mass of wires, cables and hydraulic lines, with a thin layer of servo-musculature to make her movements seem fluid and realistic. The tech pulled out a small tablet computer, then plugged it into her body with a slim blue cable. "It looks like a conflict between the persona scripting and the AI," he said, studying Angelique's error log.
"You think we should give the AI a little more leeway? Let it just take over if the script doesn't have a response to the situation?"
"Not necessarily," said the tech with the tablet. "When you give it that kind of freedom, it's liable to come up with all kinds of random crap. Hell, look what the other one's doing – breaking character and flying right off to the one place she's not supposed to go. Honestly, we're probably going to be picking up pieces of her and however many dragon 'bots it takes to bring her down."
The other man sighed. "Well, let's get this one rebooting and get over there," he said.
The other tech unplugged his tablet from Angelique's back, then hit a large red button near the access port. Instantly, the blonde gynoid's head snapped up, violet eyes staring blankly forward. "Exotiq Succubus Custom Unit Two now rebooting," she stated flatly, and the tech reattached her back panel. Then the two men picked her up, carried her over to the bed, and slid her tail into the hidden slot sewn into the mattress. There was a metallic click as it found the power coupling. "Exotiq Succubus Custom Unit Two now running on external power," Angelique stated. "Reboot will complete in five minutes."
Their work done, the techs yanked the covers up over the droid's body, then headed back through the concealed service entrance to Lady Sangria's bedchamber. While they rode an electric cart through the tunnels under Dome Seven, Angelique stared blankly at the ceiling, occasionally giving a status update. When she finished rebooting, she would have forgotten Lady Sangria's unscripted decision to visit Dragon Mountain, and would likely spend the night having sex with the castle servants, or maybe a few girls from the forest. There would be no further software conflicts tonight, and she would remain comfortably within her preprogrammed script.
Tales from Freak-World Chapter 2: The Siren's Song
Sunlight streamed through the gauzy white curtains, filling the upper room of the tavern. Roused by warmth and brightness, Neil stirred restlessly in the enormous four-poster bed. With a yawn, he sat up and blinked his sleep-gritty eyes.
"Good morning," murmured a soft, feminine voice beside him. Neil turned to gaze down at the lithe, lovely young woman who had shared his bed the previous night. The sapphire-eyed little redhead had been insatiable last night – not to mention the loudest, most enthusiastic lover Neil had ever had. Now, though, she lounged with her head propped up on her arms, looking like a cat with a belly full of cream. "You slept well, Monsieur?"
"Thanks to you," he replied with a smirk. Truthfully, he'd been having trouble getting to sleep the previous evening. His body was still on Eastern U.S. time, and Freak World's artificial day-night cycles were synced to Greenwich Mean Time. Exhausted from the long flight to Ganymede, but with a body that still insisted he ought to stay up for another several hours, he had tossed and turned for roughly half an hour.
Then the innkeeper's lovely, scarlet-haired daughter had appeared at his door, offering hot tea, fresh scones … and herself.
The first two still sat on the nightstand, no longer hot or fresh. The latter had been the best lay of Neil's life to date – and she wasn't even one of the park's main attractions!
Speaking of which, Neil decided it was time to get up, head out and see more of what this place had to offer. God knew, he ought to make the most of this vacation – it had certainly been expensive enough! A superluminal flight from Earth to Jupiter Station, then a shorter sublight shuttle to Ganymede, followed by a maglev ride out to the park itself – the trip alone had set him back nearly three months' salary, to say nothing of the cost of staying at one of the Solar System's biggest, most expensive sex tourism parks.
As Neil sat up and swung his legs out over the side of the bed, he glanced over at the gorgeous woman beside him. Truthfully, last night alone had almost made the whole trip worthwhile. Neil, of course, was single – one of the human cogs that kept corporate America chugging along, slowly making his way up the management ladder through hard work and determination. He had never been terribly lucky with women, and his busy schedule left little time for dating, clubbing, or any of the other distractions his coworkers seemed to enjoy. For Neil Coleman, a fleshlight and a terabyte of Internet porn were all the sex life he generally had time for.
Over the years, too, Neil had come to realize that real women no longer held much appeal for him. While his buddies stood around the water cooler remarking about how sexy the new secretary was, Neil couldn't help but notice the makeup-smudged bags under her eyes, the pockmarks of some teenage acne outbreak, or the faint nicotine stains on her fingers. A lifetime of watching airbrushed, digitally enhanced porn stars had set Neil's expectations too high – he just couldn't get it up for ordinary women anymore.
And then, there was all the non-human porn on his hard drive.
Somewhere along the line, Neil had developed a sort of xenophilia. It had started with some anime porn sites he frequented. Along with the busty cartoon girls that were so prevalent in Japanese manga and doujinshi, there were plenty of cat girls, monster girls, robot girls – flawlessly drawn women who not only captured the essence of human beauty, but promised something more. Over time, the "Cyber", "Kemonomimi", and "Furry" folders had become the biggest on his home computer.
Naturally, most of Neil's favorite sites carried ads for Freak World. If every little kid dreams of going to Disney World, then every adult with a fetish for animal or monster girls (or male versions of the same) seemed to dream of a trip to Freak World. Sure, it was ungodly expensive, but the place was like a sexual buffet. Assuming you had the stamina, you could have sex with multiple partners every day – hell, with lovers of multiple species. As androids, the freaks would never reject a guest's advances (unless you requested to have them play hard-to-get), and were kept perfectly clean and sanitary between uses, so there was absolutely no risk of STD's. In fact, since the droids couldn't get pregnant, there was no need for condoms, pills, or any of the other rigmarole involved with a human partner. You could do just about anything with them, as rough and as often as you liked, bask in the afterglow, then go back for more.
A weeklong stay at Freak World might be damned expensive. But then, a guest could enjoy more sex there in a week than most people got in years.
The innkeeper's daughter turned as Neil got up, smiling seductively as he dressed. The white satin sheets glimmered in the sunlight, highlighting her lithe yet well-sculpted figure beneath them. Her left breast was partly uncovered, its pert pink nipple serving as a subtle but clearly visible offer of further intimacy. Like the park's famous freaks, she was yet another android. Of course, you could find dozens of humanoid sexbots like her at robot dealerships, online stores, brothels, or street corners in any city on Earth. She had been a great lay, and a much-needed sleep aid the previous evening. But Neil Coleman had come here for more exotic fare, and by God, he was going to get his money's worth.
Clad in a T-shirt, swim trunks, and beach sandals, Neil grabbed a complementary towel from the bathroom (no sense in getting his own towel wet and sandy), then headed for the door. "I'll be back later," he called over his shoulder. Then he grabbed his room key, opened the door, and headed down the hall.
The innkeeper's daughter lay motionless for precisely five minutes, still gazing with half-lidded eyes at the door. With no human presence in the room, there was no need for her to do or say anything. Besides, the guest might possibly decide to come back to the room – either to take something that he had forgotten on the way out, or for another session of sexual activity with her. Either way, she was programmed to remain available in the room for five minutes.
Once those five minutes were up, however, the lithe, pale-skinned young woman swiftly doffed the white satin sheets that had concealed her. Though not over-endowed, her soft, round B-cup breasts were perfectly proportioned to her slim yet statuesque figure. Her skin was perfectly flawless, save for some strategically placed freckles on her shoulders and cheeks. As she bent over to retrieve her dress and tunic from the previous night, anyone still in the room would have been treated to the sight of a deliciously soft derriere, the pale pink lips of her womanhood just visible between pale, soft yet well-toned thighs.
With her costume draped over one arm, the nude young woman made her way out of the bedroom, through the door, and out into the hall. Through her wireless link to the park's data network, she knew that the inn's other guests – an older couple in Room Seven and a young male in Room Twelve – had already left, so there was no need for her to waste time dressing herself.
Down the hall, down the spiral staircase, and through the kitchen, the girl made her way to a nondescript wooden door that might have led to a closet, or perhaps to the pantry. As she opened it, however, bright white fluorescent light spilled out of the room beyond. From the humble kitchen of the Taverne en Bord de Mer, she stepped into a cool, dry, static-free room stocked with all manner of high-tech machinery. A bank of computers whirred softly in one corner, status lights blinking regularly. A cart of tools and spare parts sat in the middle of the room. Three tall, elliptical silver pods stood against one wall. Another door, further back, led further into the labyrinth of support centers, pipeworks, and tramways that connected Freak World's various environments.
A single human technician sat in a chair, reading a magazine. He glanced up as the android walked in, depositing her clothes in a small metal canister. Detecting the human presence, her social software briefly activated – she flashed him a bright warm smile and called out, "Hello, Sir! I'm ready for my shower." Then she proceeded to one of the three metal tables that took up the right half of the room. One was already occupied: the innkeeper's lovely young daughter was often requested by guests of the inn, or was sent up to help guests who were having trouble getting comfortable. Thus, an identical red-haired gynoid lay on the furthest maintenance table, her belly panel open, plugged in to receive power and data.
The newcomer climbed swiftly up onto the table and lay down. Then she spread her legs, at the same time opening her mouth wide. At this point, the tech got up and went over to her. He gave a quick double-tap to the region just above her pussy, causing her sculpted belly panel to slide back and up into her chest. This exposed her battery array, various power and data ports, and her sexual apparatus. Then the technician pressed just behind the girl's left ear, and the various indicator lights inside her body went dark. The gynoid's simulated breathing ceased. She stared blankly up at the overhead light, mouth agape, her body rapidly cooling to match the ambient temperature of the clean room.
Satisfied that the unit was powered down, the tech reached his blue rubber gloves into her exposed mechanics. With practiced ease, he unfastened a series of screws holding a soft, pink tube in place. Then he grabbed her pussy lips, forced them wide open with one hand, and used the other to push her vaginal tube out through the opening. While users often gushed about how soft, warm and realistic the bots' pussies were, at the mechanical level, each unit was basically a well-designed fleshlight, surrounded by strips of artificial muscle to simulate contractions, with a small reservoir of flavored antibacterial lubricant connected to the top end. Once the sculpted silicone "love tunnel" was ejected, the tech simply threw it in a small trashcan attached to the equipment cart. While most android owners used a simple cleaning apparatus to wash and sterilize the silicone "vagina" at the heart of their sexbot, Freak World simply replaced them with fresh tubes after each use. It was considerably more expensive than reusing them, but given just how many guests the average android served, the risk of STD – as well as the "gross out factor" of sharing the same pussy as God knew how many previous guests – demanded that the park adopt more stringent sterilization procedures.
Once the replacement vaginal tube was installed, the tech took the opportunity to top up the lubricant reservoir, then closed the belly panel. Next, he walked over to stand by the gynoid's head, her mouth and eyes still wide open. Grabbing it on both sides, he gave a quick twist, and the head detached from the top of the unit's neck. Gently, he pulled the crimson-haired module away from the body with one hand, using the other to undo the various wires and synthetic-muscle strips that normally connected the gynoid's head to her body. As he pulled the head, a long pink tube slid up out of the unit's neck, trailing behind the base of the head module. Like the vaginal unit, the sexbot's throat was designed to enclose, lubricate and pleasure a user's penis, then catch any ejected semen. The unit's vocalizer was, of course, outside this silicone catch-tube, safe and dry, further back in the head module.
Without the neck to get in the way, the technician was able to hinge the unit's jaw back further, forcing the mouth to stretch into a grotesque yawn, the lower jaw hinged a full 180 degrees from the normal closed position. With the mouth thus opened wide, the tech detached the upper and lower palette, complete with teeth, gums and tongue. As the unit's oral module slid out through its open mouth, the interior of its head was left almost half empty, with a gaping, toothless cavity behind its stretched-open lips. Only a stub of servo-muscle and gray plastic – the mechanism that moved the tongue – remained attached to the carbon-fiber curve of the lower jaw.
The tech laid the head module on the table, turning his attention to the long tube of reddish silicone in his hands, the upper and lower palettes still attached. While the park's impressive admission costs allowed it to discard a few simple silicone tubes, replacing ceramic teeth after each use was simply too expensive. Thus, the tech tore the silicone throat liner away, exposing the gleaming white sets of molars, canines and incisors. The throat liner could hold about a liter of material, including a small amount of chewed food if necessary (some guests still liked to take their "girls" out to dinner, even though the androids possessed no sense of taste – however much they were programmed to say otherwise). Still, lacking a stomach, the food would simply sit in the catch-tube, and some guests complained that their lover's breath smelled rather rank the morning after a dinner date. The androids, naturally, were programmed to decline food, unless doing so would offend a guest.
So, while the throat liner went in the trash bin, the ceramic palettes and teeth went into a metal canister about the size of a large camping thermos. The tech clipped them into place, closed the lid, then hit a button to activate the wash cycle. Within minutes, the teeth were sparkling clean, steamed and smelling of mint-flavored detergent.
Once the palettes were ready, the technician plucked them from the canister, then carefully fitted them into a fresh new throat liner, each tooth fitting precisely into a hole in the silicone gums. Retrieving the still-yawning head, he guided the catch tube into the oral cavity, then back and down through the stump where the head and neck would reconnect. Locking the upper and lower palettes back into place, he carefully adjusted the tongue until it was properly sheathing the nub of plastic and servo-muscle that would allow it to move. Finally, he swung the jaw back into its normal closed position, then went about reconnecting the head to the body.
Within seconds, the innkeeper's daughter was back in one piece, all panels closed, her sexual organs clean and sterile. Of course, there was still the matter of her exterior – though the androids lacked pores, and were thus incapable of sweating, there would no doubt be traces of semen, saliva, lubricant and other contaminants all over her lovely silicone-latex-composite flesh.
Hitting the concealed switch behind her left ear, the tech waited for the gynoid to boot back up. A soft beep emanated from her chest, and her eyes fluttered open. "Exotiq Andronics Model 3524 now online," she said flatly. "Maintenance stage one in progress. Calibrating…." She opened her mouth wide – not the unnatural position that the tech had forced it into earlier, but more like a human yawn. Then, in a surprisingly cheerful singsong voice, she sang, "A, B, C, D, E, F, G,…" This, of course, was meant to test her oral mechanics' ability to form vowels and consonants. Meanwhile, her back arched, her artificial abdominal muscles stretched and contracted, and between her legs, the layer of synthetic muscle around her vaginal tube performed a series of contractions. By the time the song ended, her diagnostic software was satisfied that the new parts were properly installed. "No faults detected," she announced. "Oral and vaginal modules both fully functional. Maintenance stage one complete. Would you like to proceed to stage two?"
"Yeah, sure," the tech said. As the gynoid dismounted the table, he went and resumed his seat on the chair, grabbing his magazine. Meanwhile, the innkeeper's daughter made her way to one of the three man-sized silver pods leaning against the wall. With the push of a button, the front of the pod split open, revealing a contoured cavity in its center roughly the shape of a human being. While the park's non-humanoid "freaks" had to be sterilized and dried by hand, the red-haired gynoid was just a consumer-model sexbot. So, the inn's service center featured standard sterilization pods like those used by most brothels in the Solar System.
Once inside, the gynoid shut her eyes and mouth, and a small valve in her nasal cavity closed, protecting her vocalizer and air-cooling system from external moisture. The pod sealed shut. Instantly, a hundred high-pressure jets of boiling water and antibacterial detergent sprayed the unit from all sides. A human would have been scalded, their skin cooking off their bones from the intense heat and astringent chemicals. The gynoid's silicone-latex-composite skin, however, was specifically designed to withstand such intense sterilization procedures. Within moments, any trace of external contamination was scoured away. Then the spray switched to a cooler, gentler rinse cycle, applying rose-scented shampoo to the unit's hair and a slightly musky perfume to her body, to help mask the scent of her artificial skin.
A quick blow-drying later, the pod hissed open, revealing a radiant, beautiful young woman, her hair and skin glistening with residual moisture. As she stepped out of the pod, the gynoid's nasal valve reopened, and she took a deep breath of the cool, dry clean room air. Her CPU, located in her chest, needed to cool off after her high-temperature scouring, and her simulated "breathing" was used to vent the hot air from her chest cavity.
"Maintenance stage two complete," she announced. "This unit is now cleaned and ready for use."
The tech got back up and inspected her. The redhead's skin was as clean and flawless as the day she had stepped off the assembly line. Satisfied, he said, "Okay. Lie down on that table over there."
"Yes, Sir," she replied cheerfully – her maintenance complete, the gynoid's social software was back up and running. Still stark naked, she lay down on the same maintenance table she had vacated just a few moments earlier.
Meanwhile, the technician walked over to check on her twin. According to the indicator LED's on her battery pack, she was now fully recharged, and the nearby computer console said that her software was fully up to date. The technician unplugged her, closed up her belly panel, and hit the power switch behind her left ear. There was a beep from behind her perky B-cups, then her eyes opened. As she registered the technician's presence, she smiled up at him. "Hello, Sir!" she said brightly. "How are you today?"
"Fine," the tech grunted. "The other one needs to recharge. Head out and start cleaning up."
"Yes, Sir," she said, then swung her legs off the edge of the table. As she made her way out of the clean room, she grabbed the costume her twin had placed in the laundry canister earlier. By now, it had been washed and dried, and as she put it on, her olfactory sensor detected a faint smell of laundry detergent.
Meanwhile, the technician turned back to the second redhead, her skin already nearly dry in the low-humidity environment. Opening her belly panel, he plugged a power cable into the socket on her battery pack. According to the LED's, it had been down to just above 50% power. Then he connected her to the computer tower in the back corner. The redhead jerked slightly as the computer assumed control of her systems. "Exotiq Andronics model 3524 is now connected," she intoned. "Software update in progress. Estimated time remaining: 5 minutes."
Satisfied, the tech went back to his chair and pulled out a small tablet PC. On the screen, the three identical redheads who staffed the Taverne were represented by status readouts. The one that had just left still read as 100% charged, with an estimated battery life of eighteen hours (slightly shorter if a guest decided to have sex with her, of course). By the time she needed to come back in for recharge and/or cleaning, both of the other two would be available to take over for her.
His work done, the technician headed out through the door at the back of the maintenance bay. Like all the rest of Freak World, Dome 4 was built over a system of pipeworks and access tunnels. This concrete-and-metal labyrinth allowed technicians to move about under the carefully crafted environment, without attracting attention from the guests. Now that the girls at the Taverne en Borde de Mer were taken care of, the tech searched for open help tickets, chose one, then hopped in a small electric golf cart and drove off down the corridor.


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Surfing the spring
March 23, 2011
As a song it would win no prizes. The 'song' is a repetitive two note announcement that the trees are shortly to come into leaf. So remarkably dull is the song that the bird is named after it – what else is there to say? The Chiffchaff is a warbler, relatively nondescript with a seemingly green hue above and a paler buff coloured chest. It's close relations such as the Blackcap and the Willow Warbler have slightly more elaborate songs which are welcome in any garden. The Chiffchaff on the other hand, sounds so disappointing and even slightly irritating.
But the sound is welcome nevertheless. It nearly always the first summer migrant to arrive and announce itself. Early on Tuesday morning it trumpeted its arrival in Brampton. After wiling away the winter somewhere along the Mediterranean coats, perhaps in North Africa, it arrives after surfing the spring northwards. It can be heard throughout the spring, but its call is most insistent before the leaves arrive – over the next fortnight or so it will be repeating itself all over the village.

subset: commoncrawl


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Jumbo stretch film is a high-quality multi-layer film. Thanks to its properties it is used for re-winding into hand or machine stretch film rolls, with simultaneous maintenance of high stretch, flexibility and puncture resistance.
Film produced by our company is available in 4 qualities:
- standard
- power
- super power
- ultra power
Jumbo stretch film is available also as : "High Slip" film, which is characterized by high clarity and lack of glue on the outer or inner layer, which overcomes the problem of pallets sticking during storage or transport.
"High Slip" film is also produced in 4 qualities and in all offered thicknesses.


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Pre-Approved and Pre‑Qualified Loans
Get a fast, flexible loan up to $10,000.*
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Have you ever received a letter telling you you're pre-approved for a personal loan or credit card? Pre-approved offers like these, whether they're through direct mail or email, are a kind of advertising that banks and other private lenders use to grow business.
Companies sending out pre-approval offers often get your information directly from a credit bureau. In these situations, they look at your credit with what's known as a "soft pull," which doesn't affect your credit score.
Pre-approved credit cards and pre-approval loans can be a legitimate way for banks and lenders to solicit business. Though these kinds of offers may say "instant approval," in almost every case, the lender will still need to evaluate and confirm your application.
Certain individuals are pre-qualified for loan offers for up to $10,000* based on information in their credit reports. If you recently received a pre-qualified loan offer in the mail, it means you're one of them. A pre-qualified installment loan through NetCredit can offer you the financial flexibility and security you need to reach your financial goals.
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★★★★★ ★★★★★4.7 (11) write a review
Organic facial toner
An American classic beauty product that won't dry skin or clog pores
Fragrance free with no color or additives of any kind
Ingredients: Certified organic Hamamelis virginiana (witch hazel) extract, certified organic alcohol.
Directions: Pour a small amount onto a cotton ball and gently apply to face and neck.
WARNING: For external use only. Avoid contact with eyes. If skin irritation occurs, discontinue use.
Certified Organic by ECOCERT ICO, Greenwood, IN 46143.
by our team of internal scientific & wellness experts
for unsurpased purity, potency safety & quality by internal & third-party labs
by Swanson Health's expert standards for quality products for mind, body & home
Organic facial toner
An American classic beauty product that won't dry skin or clog pores
Fragrance free with no color or additives of any kind
Witch hazel is a skin soother that Native Americans shared with the first European settlers who quickly adopted it and used it for a wide variety of applications. An excellent cleansing aid, witch hazel contributes to a firm, toned appearance without drying or clogging pores. Swanson brings you the pure beautifying support of this American classic in our Organic Witch Hazel Facial Toner, an alcohol extract produced only with organic alcohol—no fragrance, color or additives of any kind are used.
Terms and Ingredient Definitions
Shipping Weight: .60 lbs
These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.
Swanson Health started in 1969 in Fargo, ND with a mission to offer pure and potent health products at a great value. Over 50 years later, we continue to innovate science-backed vitamins and supplements, delivering wellness solutions that help people live simply healthier together, and find vitality at any age. Click here to learn more about us.
For over 50 years, Swanson Health's research and development team has delivered science-backed health and wellness products to people around the world. Our innovation is guided by clinical research, scientific consensus, emerging research and usage traditions, creating products that help you find vitality at any age. At Swanson, we don't hide our science behind proprietary formulas — we believe in easy-to-read, transparent labelling. What's printed on our labels, is exactly what you'll find in our products.
Swanson Health's purity and potency testing begins with our ingredient sourcing, continues through manufacturing, and goes beyond when a product hits the shelf. Our testing exceeds industry standards, ensuring each product meets our quality guarantees for purity and potency. Swanson facilities are Good Manufacturing Practices (GMP) certified, and we voluntarily participate in third-party, independent laboratory testing. With Swanson, you can be sure you're getting the most pure and potent health products at a great value. Click here to learn more about our quality standards.


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SkipTheDishes conducts contest promotion
Online food delivery service SkipTheDishes has begun a contest promotion called the "2018 Restaurant Award Series." The initiative encourages consumers to vote for their favourite restaurants in various categories. Consumers in Calgary, Edmonton, Hamilton, Kitchener/Waterloo, Mississauga, Regina, Saskatoon, Toronto, Ottawa, Vancouver and Winnipeg can vote online until April 30. Each voter will be entered into a draw for $1,000 in credit with SkipTheDishes. Ten secondary prizes of $100 in credit will also be awarded. Winning restaurants will receive prizes including a package of marketing services, certificates of recognition and a range of promotional materials. The winners will be announced in May.


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Multiple People Shot At Orlando's Pulse Nightclub
Police are investigating a shooting at an Orlando nightclub as an act of terror.
UPDATE: Orlando's mayor has confirmed that a whopping 50 people are dead and 53 wounded after a gunman fired shots inside Pulse nightclub.
The shooter has now been identified as Omar Saddiqui Mateen.
The Orlando Sentinel reports:
Orlando Mayor Buddy Dyer has declared a state of emergency for the city after Sunday morning's terrorism attack.
This is the deadliest mass shooting in the U.S. in at least 30 years.
U.S. Rep. Alan Grayson, D-Orlando, confirmed the gunman's identity as 29-year-old Omar Mateen of Port St. Lucie, calling the attack a "hate crime" because the shooting happened at a gay club.
"Tonight our community witnessed or experienced a very horrific crime," Orlando Mayor Buddy Dyer told media near the scene Sunday morning. "Many lives were lost, and many more individuals were impacted by witnessing the crime."
A gunman took scores of people hostage overnight inside the nightclub between 2:00 a.m. and 5:00 a.m.; about 42 people were taken to area hospitals, Mina said.
Officers killed the gunman in a shoot out and referred to him as a "lone wolf." He was carrying an assault rifle, a handgun and was possibly wearing an explosive "device." The Orange County Sheriff's Office hazardous device team is now searching the area.
About 30 people were "saved during the rescue," Mina said. About 320 people were in the club when the hostage situation unfolded.
The Federal Bureau of Investigation is leading the investigation.
Agent Ron Hopper said they cannot rule this out as an act of domestic terrorism and that the suspect, who is not from Orlando, may have leanings toward extreme Islamic ideologies.
SMH!!! Stop the violence!
AP Photo/Phelan M. Ebenhack
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Marjorie Searcy
Marjorie Searcy brings unique expertise to the field of vocal coaching. Marjorie is a graduate of Belmont University in Nashville, where she studied commercial voice and music education. Having performed everything from classical to country, rock and jazz, her emphasis is on providing singers with the technique to effectually communicate the style they enjoy. Marjorie is a gifted instructor with the ability to help singer's work through their breaks, gain control, flexibility and support. Marjorie's method, the Middle Voice Method (MVM), will give you real manageable steps that will actually change and improve the way you sing. Marjorie has coached many students to award winning prominence. Her students include recording artists, Dove award winners, professional songwriters and entertainers, American Idol contestants and scholarship winners. Marjorie is the Author of The Singer's Workshop Vol. 1 and 2. She travels to teach her Worship Singer's Workshop to worship teams around the country. Marjorie and her family, George, Mallory, Jordy and Liam, live in Fairhope, AL. and she is thrilled to be a part of Camp Electric, again this year.


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Hop along to eggs-cellent event at Fakenham Racecourse
PUBLISHED: 11:11 20 March 2018 | UPDATED: 15:17 20 March 2018
Archant 2018
The Easter Bunny, carnival rides, and an eggs-cellent egg hunt are part of the fun being organised at Fakenham Racecourse this Easter.
Those heading to the racecourse on Easter Monday will have the chance to take part in activities being organised for the whole family.
A spokesperson for the event said: "It's a perfect family day out for the Easter weekend."
The gates will open at 11am on Monday April 2 and the first race is scheduled for 2.15pm.
Activities include an Easter egg hunt, carnival fun, and a special visit from the Easter bunny.
There is free entry for under 18s and course enclosure tickets start at £10.
The event is taking place across the country during the Easter weekend.
- Hop to www.gbraci.ng.com/easter18 to find out about local fixtures or for more information about Fakenham racecourse visit www.fakenhamracecourse.co.uk.
If you value what this story gives you, please consider supporting the Fakenham and Wells Times. Click the link in the orange box above for details.


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Absolutely! It is also important to know how many advantages there are to using an independent life insurance agent. Independent life insurance agents at Pennington Financial Group do not sell exclusively for one company; instead, they have access to products from many different life insurance companies.
This market access is a tremendous advantage for consumers, especially those who want several quotes to compare. A Pennington Financial Agent can quote several different policies for a single buyer and shop their clients' business when other companies introduce a competitive product.
Think about it as if you are buying a car. Would you just shop at Ford for your new vehicle? Or would you want to look at all your options – Ford, Chevy, Toyota, etc. and compare models and pricing?
In addition, there is no substitute for personal attention. A distinct advantage that most independent life insurance agents have is that they are unbiased with regards to products, and working for YOU—buyers can pick up the phone, or send an email, and discuss all their life insurance needs with their life insurance provider.
Life insurance companies usually do not offer this kind of access and personal service.
Call Jeff Pennington today at 1-877-221-6198 to discuss your needs and get a selection of life insurance quotes for your situation. Jeff can answer all of your insurance questions and will provide friendly personal advice.


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Scott McLaughlin scored his first Virgin Australia Supercars Championship race win for Shell V-Power Racing in front of team owner Roger Penske at Barbagallo.
In a dominant performance from the Shell Falcons, McLaughlin finally converted his early season speed into victory in the 120km Race 7 ahead of team-mate Fabian Coulthard.
McLaughlin had won the start from pole-sitter Coulthard, with the Shell Fords charging into the distance during the early laps of what was always going to be a tyre economy race.
The Falcons had a staggering seven seconds on third placed Shane van Gisbergen by lap 11 of 50, when the Kiwi elected to let team-mate Jamie Whincup through.
Coulthard shadowed McLaughlin through the early stages, but dropped 3.5s from the lead by the time he stopped on lap 22.
McLaughlin responded by pitting on the next lap and only narrowly remained ahead of his team-mate due to the strength of the undercut.
The team-mates marched on to the chequered flag, with McLaughlin ending up 1.3s ahead at the finish.
"It's been a long time coming for me to be at a race track here and winning like this," said Roger Penske.
"It's a tremendous effort from our team. We're showing the kind of team we are here and in the US."
Whincup held third through the pitstop cycle and completed the podium, 7.5s adrift of the Shell Fords.
Van Gisbergen and Mark Winterbottom were fourth and fifth after both going longer than their key rivals in the first stint, trading tack position for the benefit of fresher rubber in the closing stages.
Chaz Mostert was the first front-runner to stop and proved unable to hold off van Gisbergen and Winterbottom late in the second stint, dropping to sixth.
Craig Lowndes got the better of Will Davison in an intense battle for seventh ahead of David Reynolds and Garth Tander.
James Courtney improved from 24th on the grid to 17th, leading home a tight battle with Michael Caruso, Scott Pye and Cameron Waters that saw the four cars separated by less than 0.2s.
CLICK HERE for the full Race 7 result.


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Behind the story: Sailing to a steel behemoth worthy of Melville
"The Crystal Ship" is about to set sail.
When I first heard the rumor that Platform Holly, one of nearly two dozen oil platforms in the Santa Barbara Channel, had inspired the signature image for the Doors' dirge to lost love, I was skeptical.
Drilling platforms are nothing especially poetic. By day, they are dark specks on the horizon, ships going nowhere. But at twilight, when their lights begin to glow beneath the dimming sky, they sparkle like diadems in the inky black lying somewhere between the mainland and the distant islands.
Perhaps Jim Morrison was right.
I have been peering out at these structures for nearly half a century from the beach at Carpinteria, the wharf at Santa Barbara and U.S. 101 as it scoots high above the surf line. Their presence on the coast feels as intrinsic to the landscape of California as the Golden Gate Bridge or sprawl of Los Angeles, and as much as some would like to see them disappear, their absence will hardly solve our insatiable appetite for fossil fuels.
A historic oil platform off Santa Barbara turns into a rusty ghost ship »
So when the Trump administration announced plans to expand leasing on the coast for oil and gas development, I wanted to visit one of these platforms. A reporter from The Times had done this before, and when I learned that three of the platforms had been shut down — "decommissioned" is the formal word — the story became more interesting. (Since I started reporting, four more platforms were scheduled to go.)
I reached out to the operators. Chevron, which managed Platforms Grace and Gail, said no.
We received your inquiry and wanted to let you know we will not be participating in this opportunity. We appreciate your interest in Chevron.
I reached out to Beacon West, the company working at Platform Holly. Its president similarly declined.
I think it would be a good story, but unfortunately I am not going to be able to help you out with this. Good luck.
I had been told that because of The Times' editorials against offshore drilling, oil companies would be reluctant to give me access to the platforms. But I saw a possible opening with the State Lands Commission, which is managing the decommissioning of Platform Holly because it is located in state, not federal, waters.
More than 20 years have passed since a platform in the channel was decommissioned. In the spring of 1996, Chevron abandoned four rigs off Carpinteria — undersea explosions severed their legs, and the hulking structures were cut into pieces, lifted onto a barge and floated away.
Their dismantling left political writer Lou Cannon saddened by the loss. The twinkling lights of one, Hilda, were "most comforting during the holiday season," he wrote, "when days are short and the platform's Christmas lights would shine merrily through the winter darkness."
Such sentimentality is rare and perhaps a little misplaced. When I wrote the State Lands Commission, I explained that I was less interested in politics than in the lives of the workers who would be leaving Holly behind. A little more than a month later, I stood on the deck of the crew boat approaching this steel behemoth, a structure worthy of Melville, and as a writer, I was thrilled.
I had taken the prerequisite safety class, learned about the dangers of hydrogen sulfide, practiced the rope swing for jumping between ship and platform, and donned fire-resistant coveralls and hard hat.
The crew boat took off from a pier just north of the Sandpiper Golf Course and the Ritz-Carlton Bacara, a resort that suggests what the future of the coast might look like in the absence of Holly and its onshore processing facility. More than 70 years ago, the site was targeted and shelled by a Japanese submarine that had taken aim at an aviation fuel tank.
Together with Times photographers Katie Falkenberg and Al Seib and Times graphics journalist Priya Krishnakumar, I swung my way on board and climbed the stairs that zigzagged over the surging sea below. We spent almost three hours walking in the footsteps of the former operators of the platform, lingering with their ghosts on the catwalks and in the control booths.
Wandering Holly is like walking through a closed-down steel mill. This is our Rust Belt, I thought: a factory set high above the broad Pacific. The juxtaposition is as incongruous as it is hazardous. Fifty years ago, a blowout on another platform led to one of California's greatest environmental disasters.
The maze of pipes and tanks, squeezed into the platform, reminded me of the artwork of Piranesi with his elaborate architectural drawings. I felt as if I had dropped back in time with the analog switches, dials and gauges. The equipment had been modernized, but vestiges of the past remained, as alien as the underground bunker the survivors of "Lost" discovered.
Unlike platforms farther out at sea, no one slept onboard Holly. The crew boat ferried workers back and forth twice a day — seven days on, seven days off — but they prepared meals here. In the galley, we found a spice rack with Cajun seasoning and curry powder, a refrigerator filled with fish sticks and veggies, a rotary phone and a clock stuck at 4:46.
On the drill deck, we stepped inside a doghouse where someone had scribbled a record of the day's progress. The floor was littered with tattered sheets of paper, an hour-by-hour chronology of their work probing deep beneath Earth's surface. I picked up one; it was dated June 24, 2014.
And we stood 35 feet above the sea that glimmered in the afternoon light like diamonds. I imagined what it was like to work here through the seasons, watching the migration of whales, clouds darkening the horizon in winter, the countless sunrises and sunsets. During the Northridge earthquake, we were told, the platform shook like a dog, and one worker recalled the whole coastline going dark in the aftermath.
Nostalgia may not be the politically correct response to the loss of this crystal ship. But for the workers who spent their lives on Platform Holly and await its inevitable demise, nostalgia might soon be all that's left.


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Research Repository
New weighted Ostrowski and Cebysev type inequalities
Ahmad, Farooq, Barnett, Neil S and Dragomir, Sever S (2009) New weighted Ostrowski and Cebysev type inequalities. Nonlinear analysis: theory, methods and applications, 71 (12). e1408-e1412. ISSN 0362-546xFull text for this resource is not available from the Research Repository.
On utilizing a generalization of the weighted Montgomery identity obtained by Barnett and Dragomir [published in N.S. Barnett, S.S. Dragomir, On the weighted inequalities, J. Inequal. Pure Appl. Math. 8 (4) (2007) Art. 96], new weighted Ostrowski and Cebysev type inequalities are established.
|Item Type:
|Uncontrolled Keywords:
|ResPubID17474. Ostrowski inequality, Cebysev inequalities, integral inequalities, weighted Montgomery identity
|Historical > Faculty/School/Research Centre/Department > School of Engineering and Science
Current > FOR Classification > 0101 Pure Mathematics
Historical > SEO Classification > 970101 Expanding Knowledge in the Mathematical Sciences
|Related URLs:
|Depositing User:
|Date Deposited:
|23 Aug 2011 02:15
|Last Modified:
|04 Oct 2020 23:00
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Southampton manager Claude Puel has heaped praised on new club record signing Sofiane Boufal .
The Saints paid Lille a club record fee of £16million last month, as the Moroccan international moved to St Mary's, penning a five-year deal just days before the window slammed shut.
Boufal, soon became one of the highest rated young players in France after impressing in his two years in Ligue 1, netting 12 goals in all competitions last season, as Lille finished 5th in France's top division.
Claude Puel believes the signing could prove to be a pivotal one for the club, hoping Boufal can be the catalyst for the side's attacking moves.
"He can make the difference," Puel said about the 22-year-old attacking midfielder. "He can beat two or three players in small spaces. This is important.
"We have a good collective, and he has good qualities at dribbling and he can score also and give assists.
"I think he is an interesting addition for the squad, because his profile is different, with the possibility for Boufal making through runs, to express himself with good dribbling ability, and he can take on the opponents with his quickness. It is interesting for us."
Boufal is currently working with the club's fitness staff following a delayed start to his pre-season, and is yet to make his Premier League bow.
Southampton enjoyed a relatively successful transfer window, despite the notable departures of Graziano Pelle to Shandong Luneng and Sadio Mane to Liverpool.
Puel was able to bolster his squad with the additions of Pierre-Emile Højbjerg, Alex McCarthy and Nathan Redmond, all joining Boufal.


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Are you wondering what's essential for you to do to add social media marketing to your marketing plan? What are the essential steps?
Tag Archives | blog
7 Ways to Make Money with Your Blog
Monetize your blog and change your blog from a drain on your financial resources to an asset. Here are 7 ways to make money with your blog.


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Sponsored Links
Want to beat your Scrabble friends no matter where you are?WordSolver Android App!
Is pizazz a scrabble word?
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Pizazz is worth 35 points in Scrabble, and 36 points in Words with Friends
There are 6 letters in pizazz: A I P Z Z Z
1 Anagram of Pizazz
Words that can be created with an extra letter added to pizazz:
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This Dr. Dabber Switch Metatrons Dab Station came out great! Borosilicate Scientific lab glass Iso vial with 10mm ground glass joint. Volumetric cylinder for your dab tool holder , and a glass apothecary jar for your Q-tips! This one is color changing from dark purple to pink when it get warm or you hold it (change happens at 84° or so) I really love these! if you have a switch and haven't tried the evolution adapter you really are missing out, this thing is amazing. You will never use another set up again with it, Well I don't. Lots of quality Bonsai etched hydratubes and adapters available also.
This particular one is on sale super Cheap!!! Normally $75, this one is being let go for $45 due to a slight over annealing after printing. It still looks and works great, I will send you close up of imperfection before purchase. Or I will make you a new one, any in stock color for $10 off, $65 total. Other styles also available including the Antique iso bottle Line!
If you want this in another color or for the Peak or Carta just let me know!


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I hope you like it !
We could have had a sign or a bag or a stethoscope but we thought it may be a little conventional.
Life is never predictable.
It is all on a wing and a prayer!
However, we do wish to guide you and keep you above any turbulence.


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Medicare Open Enrollment Ends Dec. 7 – Enroll BCBSNC Medicare Now!
The Annual Open Enrollment Period for Medicare is coming to an end on December 7th. If you need to enroll a Medicare Supplement plan or would like to make changes to your current plan, there's still time! Blue Cross Blue Shield of North Carolina offers Medicare Supplement plans with added benefits such as Silver & Fit, and also provides Medicare recipients with many choices for Medicare supplemental coverage.
At NC Health Plans we strive to make the Enrollment Period as simple and stress-free as possible and offer a variety of Medicare Supplement plans through Blue Cross Blue Shield of North Carolina. Your application can be submitted right from the comfort of your home and our licensed NC health insurance agents are available to help you make changes to your existing plan, compare plans or enroll a new plan.
Don't miss the Medicare Open Enrollment period! Call 888-765-5400 or visit our website at www.nchealthplans.com. For more information on North Carolina insurance coverage, please visit our website at www.nchealthplans.com or call our toll free number 888-765-5400 and speak with one of our experienced and professional agents.


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Downey v. Andrews M.D. et al
Filing 5
ORDER GRANTING APPLICATION TO PROCEED IN FORMA PAUPERIS AND DIRECTING INSTITUTION TO CALCULATE, COLLECT, AND FORWARD PAYMENTS by Hon. James P. Donohue. (cc: Plaintiff, WAWD Finance, Snohomish County Corrections)(ST)
Disclaimer: Justia Dockets & Filings provides public litigation records from the federal appellate and district courts. These filings and docket sheets should not be considered findings of fact or liability, nor do they necessarily reflect the view of Justia.


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McDonald's worker shares the cheeky chat-up lines one woman sent him on Tinder
Her fast food puns really get straight to the point...
WHEN you hear about cringe-worthy Tinder chat-up lines, you probably imagine a guy using them on a girl.
But when this young woman realised her latest match worked at McDonald's, she really went to town.
Clearly the allure of the Golden Arches can be quite a turn-on because this unnamed bloke's conversation with a girl called Ashley immediately turned into a strange mixture of sexting and McDonald's puns.
The Tinder conversation has since gone viral after being shared on Imgur.
It all begins when Ashley asks if she can get a 'McD***' - and if she'll nab a discount by paying with a 'McT**'.
Related Stories
Déjà vu?Student trolls man on Tinder after he swiped right but forgot that they ALREADY slept together
The bemused guy goes on to say: "Actually we do have a deal going for 2 McT**s, gets you a free lunch and a McD***.
"Only available at participating locations though.
"Unfortunately (my) location doesn't offer that promotion, but luckily I do have an apartment that you'd still be able to use the deal at if you wanted."
After giving the girl his address, the lad revealed that sadly his flat doesn't "have a drive thru" adding that Ashley would "have to come inside".
Imgur user Motobmurray shared the exchange on Imgur - where one person chastised him for leaving the lady's picture unedited for all to see.
He added: "A girl this playful doesn't deserve to be outed like this."
While another bloke joked: "Find out she's actually a man and gave him your address and you'll get robbed".
Of course, it's possible the girl was just having a laugh. One student mercilessly trolled her Tinder match after he forget that they had already had sex.
While another poked fun at a Catfish pretending to be One Direction hunk, and Cheryl's soon-to-be baby daddy, Liam Payne.


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Firefighters rescue St. Bernard stuck on roof of home
Renee Roth was dog-sitting her son's 180-pound pet when he jumped through the upstairs window and became stranded on the roof
By FireRescue1 Staff
SPRING LAKE PARK, Minn. — A group of firefighters rescued a St. Bernard who became stranded on the roof of a home.
CBS Minnesota reported that Whisky, a 5-year-old, 180-pound St. Bernard, had to be rescued by the Spring Lake Park-Mounds View Fire Department after he jumped out of an upstairs window and onto the roof.
"We do occasionally get the cat-in-the-tree call, but dog on a roof, not so much," Lt. Anthony Scavo said.
Whisky was being dog-sat by his owner's mother, Renee Roth, who was making dinner when she heard a commotion upstairs.
"I ran up to see what was happening and the dog wasn't in there and I assumed the worst," she said.
Roth found that the dog was standing on a small piece of roof.
"He was standing there and he kept looking over at the garage, and I'm like 'Don't jump!'"
When firefighters arrived, they removed the entire window to allow for Whisky to be able to get back through.
"It was an effort of pushing from the outside and pulling from the inside, and once Whisky figured out what we were doing, I think he kind of cooperated and jumped through," Battalion Chief Jeremiah Anderson said. "It all happened pretty quickly."
We respond to all kinds of calls. #heretoserve.Posted by Spring Lake Park, Blaine, Mounds View Fire Dept. on Friday, June 8, 2018
- Tags
- Animal Rescue
- Weird News


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I would say my reputation as a traveler is slowly being defined by traveling in the "wrong" season.
Technically, there isn't a wrong season. At least not in my opinion. There are the seasons you're prepared to adventure in, and those that you're not. I cannot say whether that is the opinion held by most.
However, it is traveling at these times that allows me to see places in a way that most people don't get to. I like to think I'm prepared for ALL seasons.
Not having the gear is never a good enough reason to not answer the call of adventure.
Simple, here's a taste of what the "wrong" season gets you:
An Overview in Numbers:
Oklahoma City, USA -> Thunder Bay, Canada
- 1,383 miles
- 6 days
- 4 frozen waterfalls
- 2 travelers (Alex and I)
- 1 lighthouse
- Unlimited fish & chips
So – do you want the good news or the bad news first?
The Bad, the Good, and the Breathtaking
Do you know the number one question you get asked when you tell people you're going to Canada in the winter?
"You know it's cold up there, right?"
Obviously. Canada + winter = where the moose and the polar bears play.
If I had a dollar for every time I was asked that, I could have funded the entire trip. Okay, maybe not, but it was going to take a lot more than people thinking we were crazy to scare us out of this particular adventure. We usually manage alright..
And by "manage" I mean that Alex and I end up with stupid luck. The only catch is that something bad has to happen first.
That said, the shock was minimal when our vehicle broke down on the highway – a highway that was narrowed down to one lane due to snow, no less. Of course, one thing led to another and we were towed to (and consequently stranded in) a small town in Wisconsin for a night. Apparently securing parts when every town in fifty miles is under a blanket of snow isn't the easiest task. A kindly local put us up, so rather than worrying about where we would sleep, we dedicated all remaining energy to an all-out bowling royale.
Let's just say my losing streak to Alex is on-going. It mostly includes Go Fish! from our time in China, and now I get to add bowling…
Vehicle fixed, we started the next day well-rested and back on the road where we hit Duluth, Minnesota. It was our first glimpse of Lake Superior, but I can't say that it inspired much hope for what lay ahead. Everything, from the sheer winds blowing the car around, to the bridge suspended over icy harbors, and the layer of dirt settled on all visible surfaces was reminiscent of Dante's Inferno. Specifically the scene where Dante reaches the lowest level of hell and he finds a giant, winged Satan stuck in the middle of a frozen lake.
They say first impressions are everything, but I don't think Duluth got the memo. For a moment, I caught myself wondering if I would see a towering, winged figure in the distance if I looked hard enough.
Good news is, I didn't.
The even better news came several miles down the road where we made our first stop at Gooseberry Falls. It, unlike Duluth, was magical!
Later we also hit Split Rock Lighthouse.
Fortunately, with it being off-season we were able to get free access to a special museum for the lighthouse. I stayed long enough to find out how light house glass is shaped, and that all of the materials to build it were brought by boat because there weren't roads back then. Mostly I wondered why I was in a museum when there was a trail along the shore below me.
Just after the sun set we finally, FINALLY crossed into Canada, but not before the Canadian border patrol
razzed warned us about their "Winter Temperature Advisory" or something like that. We shrugged it off as no big deal.
However, negative forty-three degrees (fahrenheit) IS most definitely a big deal!
This entire trip was based around the fact that we would sleep in the car to keep costs low, but we were not aware that it would be THAT cold before leaving. Had it not been for turning the car on every couple of hours and having good sleeping bags it would have been miserable. It wasn't the best night's sleep I've had, but…
It was worth it. We didn't get to see anything we had planned on seeing, but isn't that the beauty of traveling without any real plan?
Our time in Canada was brief, and American border patrol was a real hassle, but just outside of Duluth we found amazing fish and chips. Nothing like good food to warm the soul after a long night in frozen country. Plus, Duluth had to make up for it's hellish first impression.
From there our journey began to wind down quickly. After one last stop in Baraboo, Wisconsin our adventure ended. We were able to work in some killer views at Devil's Lake State Park.
Here's the thing:
I find myself going into a lot of situations wondering a) how I got myself into a mess in the first place and b) how I'm going to get through it.
As we crept closer to Canada and I saw the temperature drop, and drop, and drop I asked myself "Are we gonna be okay?" Would our preparations be enough for us to survive our stupidity. Naturally, these kinds of things are only brilliant when you hear about someone else doing them.
I like to think I'm prepared for anything, but here's the truth.
I'm not.
Things usually end up working out one way or another, but that's partially because I start every adventure abandoning expectations. Expectations are dangerous, and as a good friend of mine once told me, they only set you up for disappointment.
Every time I hit the trail or buckle up for a road trip I gain a little bit more experience, a little bit more information that the world has to offer on how to NOT die. For those who like to adventure in nature, it is very practical information and it always goes towards making the next trip a little easier.
As I said, ditching expectations is only part of it. The other bit that always seems to ensure our survival is people.
If you turn on the news, you might think stepping outside your door will wind up with you dead. However, it has been my experience that people aren't out to stab you in the back all the time. You learn to read the signs and avoid some, while risking to trust others. That's just how it goes.
While stranded in the middle of Wisconsin our host was graciously listening to all of our crazy adventures, before telling us that there may come a time in life when everything is just right. A moment when you are at perfect peace with the world. It's not an ideal, nor it is a place, it is a passing shadow that, if you fail to appreciate right then, you may never get to again in this thing called life.
Had we not broken down, we would not have been graced with that grain of wisdom. And if we do not continue to live with an openness to others, it will be a very empty life indeed.
Until next time!


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This popular course prepares you for a career in policy and research in the public, private and voluntary sectors with modules addressing multidisciplinary concerns relevant to current public issues.
You will explore how welfare policy influences our everyday lives in domestic and international contexts and take advantage of opportunities for work placements, tailored to your interests and specialisms, as well as links to employers and international study programmes.
Social exclusion, racism and homelessness are just a few of the social problems we face today. Explore global inequalities in the twenty-first century and the sociological imagination during this stimulating and highly-rated course. You'll develop the knowledge and skills to analyse these issues,learn to communicate your ideas effectively and will be encouraged to think critically and challenge everyday assumptions.
Choosing from options such as crime, media and technology and youth resistance and social control, you will develop the most up to date techniques to devise and sustain arguments and to solve problems.
You'll have the option to complete a career-related work placement module in Year 3. There are opportunities to take advantage of the University's links with housing associations, and domestic and international charities, as well as community organisations, campaigning groups, welfare agencies and local authorities, and London Met does its best to match your placement to your interests and specialisms.
With traditional lectures, seminars and presentations, supplemented by group work and case studies you will be provided with skills to pursue a career in the fields of social and public policy in the private, public and voluntary sectors.
You are assessed with essays, individual and group research projects, media practice project, and a final dissertation.
In addition to the University's standard entry requirements, you should have:
If you don't have traditional qualifications or can't meet the entry requirements for this undergraduate degree, you may still be able to gain entry by completing our Sociology (including foundation year) BSc (Hons) and Social Sciences and Humanities (including foundation year) BA (Hons) degree.
To study a degree at London Met, you must be able to demonstrate proficiency in the English language. If you require a Tier 4 student visa you may need to provide the results of a Secure English Language Test (SELT) such as Academic IELTS. For more information about English qualifications please see our English language requirements.
If you need (or wish) to improve your English before starting your degree, the University offers a Pre-sessional Academic English course to help you build your confidence and reach the level of English you require.
These requirements may be varied in individual cases. Applications are welcome from mature students who have passed appropriate access or other preparatory courses or have appropriate work experience.
The modules listed below are for the academic year 2020/21 and represent the course modules at this time. Modules and module details (including, but not limited to, location and time) are subject to change over time.
Year 1 modules include:
To explain the development and functioning of different models of social policy in the West and to explore key themes and issues in social policy in the UK over recent decades, mapping the ascendance of the neoliberal model and the decline of the classic welfare state.
The module aims to:
1. Examine the emergence and development of criminological and sociological theory
2. Examine the different ways in which different criminological traditions theorise crime and its social control
3. Examine how the assumptions which underpin different traditions provide for different strategies of intervention and control
4. Develop students' learning and transferable skills in preparation for modules at levels 5 and 6.
- Analyse the social construction of a social problem
- Collate information on the location and scale of a social problem
- Reflect upon sociological interpretations of a particular social problem
- Outline policy responses to a particular social problem
The aims of this module are to (1) provide students with an understanding of key theories and models of personality as explanations for individual behaviour along with social psychological theories which seek to understand individual behaviour in its wider social context; and (2) develop students' understanding of how psychological explanations of individual differences and social behaviour can be applied to real world events and experiences. This knowledge and understanding will help students' employment skills by enabling them to appreciate the different perspectives that are needed to fully understand individual behaviour in everyday life. The module also develops students' understanding of some key principles underlying psychological research, which will facilitate progression to modules at Level 5. The aims of this module are aligned with the qualification descriptors within the Quality Assurance Agency's Framework for Higher Education Qualifications.
This module provides the foundation for an explicit, clear focus on social research throughout Sociology and related degrees in addition to supporting students to acquire understanding of and skills in academic literacy. The methodological principles and perspectives for effective social research are explained and also illustrated through exploration of research case studies. It will additionally provide experience in using the vast array of text, visual and statistical primary documentary sources and their interpretation for research. Research as process will be examined including main research approaches, the formulation and development of research questions and social, ethical and political contexts of research practice.
This module will provide students with an introduction to the discipline of Sociology and some of the basic skills of identifying, applying and evaluating sociological approaches, concepts and debates to everyday situations (LO1; LO2). It will also provide an introduction to constructing sociological arguments, thinking critically and assessing sociological evidence (LO3; LO4).
Year 2 modules include:
The principal focus of this module is for students to build on prior understanding and learning, exploring philosophical accounts of scientific explanation and the theory and practice of sociological research through the use of work-related interactive methods. The module provides work experience for students by developing research for a real world organisation (employer). Students will learn about doing research methods by conducting research for an employer. The employer will contribute to setting out small-scale research aims and objectives; being available to assess student proposals and bids or assess the analysis/ final presentation. The first part of this module examines the theory and philosophical accounts of research methodology, as well as introducing students to the practical skills of doing interviews, transcribing them, and analysing qualitative data (LO2; LO3). The second part of the module concentrates on quantitative methods, and requires students to design research for the requirements of an employer involved in both the aims and outcomes (assessment) of the research. The module provides work-related understanding and application of research methods by involving employer requirements and needs (LO1; LO4).
This module introduces students to some of the key sociological approaches used to explore and explain the sociological notion of 'self'. This will involve an examination of a range of major 20th century sociological thinkers on the nature of the social construction of self - eg. Mead, Goffman - and it's constrains - e.g. Parsons, Merton and Dahrendorf. The intention is to use some of the major sociological theorists and apply their insights into current concerns with the 'project' of self and identity. That is, to examine how much choice we have in becoming who we are.
The aims of the module are:
1. To develop students' understanding of how social problems and social policy relate
2. To examine the relationship between the process of policy making and policy implementation, alongside its impact using some key social problem examples.
3. To elucidate key concepts in social policy: needs, citizenship; community; liberty; equality; social justice; social exclusion.
4. To delineate shifting debates about social problems and relate these to the delivery of benefits and services.
To introduce students to sociological understanding and methodology of observing and explaining the everyday life: its routines, rhythms and those aspects of social life that we consider familiar and known.
1. Consider the various relationships between media, technology and crime
2. Develop an understanding of the role of the media in shaping perceptions of crime
and criminal justice, with a particular emphasis on marginalised groups
3. Develop an awareness and familiarity with the emerging forms of deviant
behaviour facilitated by contemporary technologies and/or the media
4. Provide an overview of the way technologies interact with crime and the criminal
justice system
5. Develop summarising and analytical skills
We live in an increasingly unequal world. This module examines the growth in inequalities globally. It also examines some of the key economic and political causes of growing world inequality. In particular, the module critically examines neo-liberal globalisation.
This module explores theories and conceptions of racism and ethnicity, and the practices of racism in contemporary societies. The historical roots of racism will be examined and its contemporary forms studied comparatively. Racism is specifically explored within the context of social and political conflicts.
Module aims
• To analyse critically key concepts including racism and ethnicity themselves in order to develop an awareness of their contested nature.
• To look at these issues as worldwide problems and in a sociological context that explores the meanings ascribed to these terms, their historical origins and key examples of societies where these issues have been or still are important in shaping the social orders in which people live.
• To consider the impact of racism on specific communities and groups, including national, religious and ethnic groups.
• To examine the links between class, gender and ethnic differences.
A1. To provide students with a historical, theoretical and comparative understanding of the diverse forms of youth culture and youth social organisation;
A2. To consider the key developments in political mobilisation of young people;
A3. To investigate the concepts and nature of social control in relation to youth;
A4. To develop confidence in use of appropriate learning, analytical and discursive skills when dealing with current youth issues.
The module aims to:
1. Familiarise students with the theoretical perspectives that have shaped criminological thought on violence by young people
2. Encourage students to develop a critical overview of young people's engagement in violent crime
3. Develop students' ability to research, analyse and communicate critical and informed arguments relating to the theory, policy and practice underpinning youth involvement in violent crime.
Year 3 modules include:
A1. To provide students with an understanding of the diversity of welfare in different countries.
A2. To examine a range of transnational and global social policies and their influences on national social policies.
A3. To study the broader political, social and economic context in which social policy is constructed and implemented.
The module examines the history of housing policy in the UK, focussing in particular on the shift to neo-liberal housing policies from the 1980s. Key contemporary housing issues and the key causes of the current 'housing crisis' in London and the UK are examined.
• To provide an opportunity for students to identify through a policy analysis the historical, theoretical and methodological issues in their chosen topic.
• To encourage students to apply the conceptual understanding gained in their programme of study to a substantive issue/theme.
• To present an evaluation of existing policy relating to the topic of their choice.
A1. The students will use theoretical and empirical knowledge, research and analytical skills gained in their programme of study to investigate their chosen topic and formulate a dissertation.
A2. The students will produce an original investigation/examination of a relevant sociological topic.
A3. The students will learn how to apply their knowledge of research methods, design and analysis to a specific research project.
The module aims to:
1. Place changes in housing management in the context of wider social, economic and organisational changes;
2. Introduce the key practical issues facing housing professionals, and good practice in addressing these issues;
3. Identify ways in which housing service users and community workers can challenge poor performance and get involved in service improvement;
4. Examine the benefits and challenges of partnership working in dealing with housing issues;
5. Explain current discussions on the balance of rights and responsibilities for social housing tenants and other local residents.
• To develop an understanding of the international human rights framework and consider debates and theories challenging this framework (including a critical assessment of the concept and implementation of the universality of human rights).
• To evaluate various international conventions on the protection of human rights, including the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.
• To examine violations of human rights in the light of various social and political contexts across the world and gain an understanding of how human rights applies in specific contexts; how such violations impact societies, communities and individuals; and how individuals and organisations work for justice in such harrowing circumstances.
This module builds on earlier studies of social problems, social inclusion and exclusion, and education policy. We will reflect further on the meaning of social inclusion and exclusion in society, and the specific meaning of the terms in education in relation to the world of education and students with special educational needs. The study of the role of education and schooling in relation to achieving inclusion in both arenas is the focus of this module.
This module will provide students with an opportunity to engage with contemporary debates on the relationship between social science and religion. Students will be required to critically examine the ideas of the classic and contemporary social scientists on religion and explore the application of their ideas to an ever-changing world. Overall, the aim of the module is to develop the students' capacity to utilise social scientific concepts and perspectives in their analyses of religion in contemporary society. The disciplinary focus of the module will, initially, be the sociology of religion. The application of a range of social scientific approach will also be introduced - historical, political, economic and social psychological approaches.
The module aims to give students the opportunity to:
1. Apply their prior learning in an appropriate work environment
2. Relate specific knowledge and skills – theoretical, methodological, analytical – as appropriate to real-life situations in the work environment
3. Undertake work based activities relevant to their academic subject area and level
4. Show awareness of and delineate the culture, structure and changing services delivery of a working environment
5. Enhance their professional and personal development by developing new capabilities and skills
The module introduces students to the key concepts and theories relating to the social construction of gender and sexuality and their application to a range of social sectors and issues in the UK and abroad. The ways in which gender and sexuality are both constitutive of the social and are constituted through social structures, institutions and interactions are explored, as are the ways in which theories of gender and sexuality have informed the sociological study of the family, work, health, education, crime, the welfare state and politics, media and the body.
Module aims
• To introduce and critically analyse key concepts in the sociological study of gender and sexuality;
• To introduce a range of theoretical approaches to understanding the operation of gender and sexuality at the levels of social structures, social relations and social identities;
• To consider the impact of gender and sexuality across a range of social sectors and social issues;
• To consider the links and intersections between gender, sexuality and other forms of social identity and difference, including class, race, ethnicity, etc.
• To consider the social and political sources of the persistence of discrimination and inequalities on the basis of gender and sexual orientation.
This module will provide students with an opportunity to engage with contemporary thinkers and debates in social theory. They will be required to critically examine the ideas of contemporary social theorists and explore the application of their ideas to an ever-changing world (LO1; LO2). The module will explore what it means to be human and examine how different perspectives on this impact upon a range of issues, from state policies to the development of artificial intelligence. Overall, the aim of the module is to develop the students' capacity to utilise theoretical ideas taken from philosophy and sociological theory by applying them to the social world (LO3; LO4).
Successful completion of this course offers improved career opportunities in central and local government, voluntary, charity and care agencies, pressure groups, research institutes and private companies. Our previous graduates have gone on to work at companies such as Friends of the Earth.
This course is also excellent preparation for further research or study.
We guarantee a job-relevant work placement in year three to help you gain useful skills for your future career. You could work at a housing association, global, national or local charity, community organisation and many other types of organisations.
Please note, in addition to the tuition fee there may be additional costs for things like equipment, materials, printing, textbooks, trips or professional body fees.
Additionally, there may be other activities that are not formally part of your course and not required to complete your course, but which you may find helpful (for example, optional field trips). The costs of these are additional to your tuition fee and the fees set out above and will be notified when the activity is being arranged.
Discover Uni is an official source of information about university and college courses across the UK. The widget below draws data from the corresponding course on the Discover Uni website, which is compiled from national surveys and data collected from universities and colleges. If a course is taught both full-time and part-time, information for each mode of study will be displayed here.
January 2021: This course is available to start in January. Call our hotline on 0800 032 4441 (for UK/EU applicants only) or select the relevant entry point and apply online.
If you're a UK/EU applicant applying for full-time study you must apply via UCAS unless otherwise specified.
UK/EU applicants for part-time study should apply direct to the University.
Non-EU applicants for full-time study may choose to apply via UCAS or apply direct to the University. Non-EU applicants looking to study part-time should apply direct to the University. If you require a Tier 4 (General) student visa, please be aware that you will not be able to study as a part-time student at undergraduate level.
The University and Colleges Admissions Service (UCAS) accepts applications for full-time courses starting in September from one year before the start of the course. Our UCAS institution code is L68.
If you will be applying direct to the University you are advised to apply as early as possible as we will only be able to consider your application if there are places available on the course.
Please select when you would like to start:
Professor Louise Ryan explores the impact of the Brexit vote and COVID-19 on Europeans in the UK, and whether these events make them more likely to return to their countries of origin.
'Brexit and Beyond' addresses the implications of Brexit for the UK's EU-citizen population, with a special focus on Central and Eastern European migrants.
Dr Svetlana Stephenson has been named Sociologist of the Month by a prestigious peer-reviewed academic journal.
The University hosted a taster day to give students an insight into studying Sociology at London Met.
A new book, published by London Met academics, is the first text to analyse the social impact Brexit will have on Europe.
Gangs of Russia: from the Streets to the Corridors of Power has won the Alec Nove Prize, it was announced today.
Four London Met students currently volunteer for Family Mosaic, a housing association providing affordable homes throughout London.
London Met lecturer writes new fiction book exploring the themes of youth, identity, friendship and love.
Researcher speaks at Aristotle Anniversary Year
Serap Keles speaks on 'Problems of Personal Identity and Aristotelian Interpretation'.
News of Kelvin Knight's latest talks
Dr Kelvin Knight speaks on contemporary Aristotelianism in Poland, the Political Studies Association and Oxford.
The Social Work Department hosted a successful event with representatives from the International Cross (Uganda)
Svetlana Stephenson: the sociology academic uncovering the murky world of Russian gangs
Students from Youth Work, Youth Studies and other social care courses have organised a campaign with KORI, a community charity, to fund education for young people living The Gambia.