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FREE DEODORANT + FREE SHIPPING ON ORDERS OVER $50 (In the United States)
All Good Lips – Organic Original Lip Balm
Chapped lips are not a good look. Made from organic and non-toxic ingredients (because it's literally IN your mouth), our most popular everyday lip balm is suuuuuper moisturizing, not too shiny, and fixes any chaps, cracks, cuts and burns. Based on our original recipe back when dinosaurs and hippies roamed the Earth. Never forget.
- Made with organic extra virgin olive oil and organic beeswax
- Vegetarian, cruelty-free, paraben free
- Mega moisturizing
My wife uses this chapstick all day, every day. She never has any issues with dry lips. She loves the flavor of the original best. My wife has been through all kinds over the years and she has used this brand the most consistently.
I love these!
My lips love this.. Love that it is cruelty- free and non-toxic.
I have tried every lip balm, including lip balms from France, Switzerland, Germany, organic, non-organic, you name it. This one is the only one I've tried that goes on smooth and makes my lips so soft. If it's the middle of winter and my lips are dry and cracked, it still works. I am obsessed and they stopped selling this at my local Whole Foods so now I buy online. I have been using this for years and keep recommending it to friends. Also, I much prefer this one to the one with sunscreen, which is too waxy in my opinion. This one is so soft and perfect. Thank you All Good Lips for understanding how to make a good product! Please never get rid of this lip balm.
Best chapstick in the world! I can't go anywhere without it.
I have tried all the balms, from expensive brands to super cheapo and this is the BEST! It's a staple in my home, car and purse and I hoard mass quantities so I don't ever run out. Do yourself a favor and get multiple!
I don't know what took me so long to write the sparkling review this product deserves. I have used all kinds of lip balms over many years, but believe me when I say All Good Lips is the best balm I have ever used, period full stop. It's pure gold and I refuse to use any other brand. My lips stay moisturized long after application and remain in the best condition because of this superior product. The search is over!
I absolutely LOVE this chapstick! I love it so much that I stopped wearing lipgloss/stick and use this instead.
The best (and I tried a lot) lip balm I've ever used. I've been using it for just over 2 years now.
I really want to use products that are good for the planet and that aren't tested on animals, but often find those products don't work as well as toxic products that were developed through animal suffering. It's taken a lot of time and effort to track down a natural lip balm that moisturizes well without making my sensitive lips break out in blisters — but this balm is perfect! I highly recommend it to you. 🙂
When my lips are dry and before bed, I use this because it gets them soft and smooth again. Keep using if you want to keep your lips this way.
I have been buying the AllGood lip Balm for the past 10 years. It is the only one that I find works and does not cause my lips to get more dry. The very light (almost no) scent of the Original is nice as well as it does not change the flavor of food or wine. Now that I have moved outside the US, I have friends bring 5 tubes at a time when they visit me.
I've been using this for over a decade and it heals and soothes my lips especially in the cold harsh winters in Michigan. This is a must buy for anyone that has lips.
Nothing more than that.
Ever sincerely I found All Good Lips Original lipbalm while walking around the streets of San Luis Opispo, I have been using it everyday. It's the only kind that I have found that actually helps moisturize and makes your lips suuuuper soft. I use it while surfing, hiking, everyday life, and snowboarding and keeps my lips from getting dry and chapped in harsh Oregon winter and summers. It's hard to stop applying it feels so refreshing. Thanks again for the constant stokeness!
Have used this lip balm a couple years ago and simply loved it! Your lips will never be chapped again, its smooth and has a fresh scent. You will not go back to ordinary chap sticks.
I wanted this to work so badly. It felt very good going on. Unfortunately this, like so many other lip balms I've tried, dries out both my lips and mouth. There must be something that I'm allergic to in the ingredients. Anyone have any suggestions?
I love this product. I don't have to constantly put on lip balm like other brands. It maintains moisture and heals chapped lips!
I have tried a lot of lip balm and this is the best I have ever found.
It's like good goup with a hint of mint 🙂
I love your products.
I've been using All Good lip balm for 10 years and when I run out and buy 'all natural' brands from the store it's NOT the same. I love this product and so do my lips.
Nicely flavored lip balm. Any going to buy more, and throwing out most of my other lip products.
I've been using this product for several years and it is the only lip balm that does not ever cause irritation or a bad reaction. It goes on smoothly and easily and it lasts.
This lip balm is the best I've tried. It does not leave a waxy film like others might. It provides great, long-lasting coverage. I would definitely recommend!
My girlfriend has spent at least 40 years using a petroleum based lip balm because it has stayed on her lips and kept her moist. She was extremely skeptical about an organic lip balm that yielded the same results of an (unhealthy) chemical-based lip balm. Well, I won this battle and now have a convert because she's blown away how All Good Lips totally works to her complete satisfaction!
The best chapstick out there. If you want GREAT quality, without all the chemicals, this is the chapstick for you! Plus it smells good!
I'm really glad we fount it on line, it's a real good product !
This lip gloss stays on and doesn't cause an allergic reaction ever; no matter how many times I use it. I am sensitive to just about all the other lip glosses on the market. I highly recommend it as the best lip glass.
I've used a lot of balms and this is the best. Love it for outdoor activities and everyday use. A must for everyone.
If you want an unflavored natural lip product this one can't be beat. Forget about the crappy ingredients in most lip products (that you ingest), this will end your search for the perfect lip moisturizer.
I have been using this product since it's conception. After my first use, I could no longer use any other lip balm as the quality cannot be matched. It goes on smoothly and stays on, yet it is not over waxy or greasy. It doesn't feel like any gross chemicals are near your mouth, nor does it leave any taste or residue affecting food. I like having a sunscreen free option to keep by my bed and for use when i'm not in the sun. And, it doesn't melt in your car or pocket!
I order 5 at a time of All Good Lips. This chapstick actually heals my coldsores and horribly dry lips. I will only buy this brand. Terrific!
These lip balms are the best I've ever used!! They feel so great on your lips. They are not sticky and leave your lip so soft. I have one in my purse, my car, my bathroom, in the kitchen…. everywhere!!
I wear this nearly daily and have good success keeping my lips from chapping. As a guy, I'm not looking for a visible balm on my lips and a few swipes is pretty unnoticeable. I love the natural ingredients and no scent.
I've been meaning to tell you all for a while how much I love "All Good Lips The Original". Your recipe is perfect because I can keep it in my pocket while working outside in the heat and it never gets soft and mushy like most eco groovy lip balms. Plus I love that it gives sun protection while still going on clear. Best lip balm ever- thank you!
I first ran across this lip balm at an Adventure Racing training camp where it was handed out as swag with the Keen footware company's logo on it. My lips had become severely chapped over the last couple days of outdoor activities in the cold and I had forgotten chapstick. I was happy when I got this but I was ecstatic when I saw that it contained Calendula as I had other experiences with Calendula products for skin issues like sunburn. This chapstick cured my chapped lips over night. Truly a wonderful product. I now carry it in my Adventure Racing kit for the 8-30 hour races right next to the sunblock. Great stuff.
Put this on at night and you don't need anything on your lips all day. Thick and soothing, it's really the best. Truly the best. I was surprised.
I am a lip balm junkie. I have a tube in my car, by my bedside, at work, in my pocketbook, even on my kitchen counter. They are all Good Lips; I wouldn't have anything else.
I echo all that the previous reviewer said! I too keep one in my car, purse, bedside, table beside my tv-watching chair – you name it! I love the light, almost no flavor. I hate putting something perfume-y on my lips; the Original is a light, citrusy flavor that's there and gone, no lingering. Keeps my lips moist and never dry. Love, love, love it!
I'm a returning customer for the All Good Lips original lip balm as it's my favorite (without sunscreen). I like that it's organic so I know what I'm putting on my lips, and it's so moisturizing. Thanks!
This is my favorite lip balm of all of the others I've tried, over the years. I love the Olive oil base and combo of herbs. Usually, beeswax prevails and I find that to be, well… a bit waxy. This is smooth and pleasant and has good staying power. 🙂 Thanks Elemental!
It's the only Lip Balm I will ever use again. Goes on smooth, and doesn't make my lips addicted and dry when i don't use it.
This is the best lip balm ever. Feels real, organic, does the job and smells awesome. We keep these around our home and in our car for infinite access!
my dentist in morro bay gave me my first tube of this lip balm cuz my lips were so dry. I immediately went to local health food store and bought other All Good products to try. So far, I love them all. I love that it's a local company for me.
Best lip balm ever and I have tried many! So thankful to have found this lip balm; It rescued my lips when they were chapped and full of sores. Also love the price! Works better than other really expensive lip balms.
I LOVE this lip balm! I use it on my lips and believe it or not, my eyelids. It soothes the eczema and helps relieve the itching I get. The calendula and all natural ingredients work wonders. Highly recommend!
The All Good Lip Balm is literally the best in the world. Having tried countless brands, this one far exceeds others. I go out of my way to find it and order it – and ordering it online is super easy. Great product Elemental!!
I learned about Elemental Herbs from the Environmental Working Group's Web site, which rated their lip balm as being very non-toxic. I hesitated to try it, though, because while I'm determined to buy only products that are cruelty-free, I find that my sensitive skin and mouth often have an allergic reaction to natural products. I've had no problems at all with this lip balm, though. It moisturizes well, and I love using something I know is better for me. The only criticism I can make–and it's a tiny one–is that the moisturizing effect seems to last about 4-6 hours, which is a few hours less than the "unnatural" lip balm I was using before. But I'm happy to re-apply more often, knowing this is good for my health.
I've used this product for years, and it is the most lubricating and longest lasting lip balm that you can find anywhere. I like the Original Organic Lip Balm the best.
I love this lip balm! I always order a big quantity so I have them on hand wherever I am. Ordering from this website is easy, shipping was fast, and prices were lower than most other places. I hope I never run out:)
This is the perfect lip balm. It doesn't have a taste and they use organic ingredients. It stays for a long time and keeps my lips from getting chapped.
Best chapstick i have ever used. I tried products from top line organic to basic Burt's Bees at my local grocery store. Nothing did it like All Good. highly recommend!
I love this lip balm! I always order a big quantity so I have them on hand wherever I am. Ordering from this website is easy, shipping was fast, and prices were lower than most other places. I hope I never run out:)
This is the perfect lip balm. It doesn't have a taste and they use organic ingredients. It stays for a long time and keeps my lips from getting chapped.
I just received this for my husband who's been having a frustrating time finding a lip balm that works for him. He's only used it once but his first impression is that it's pretty awesome. Here's to hoping this becomes his go-to product…


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subset: commoncrawl


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Welcome to Restaurante MonteMare!
We are open from Tuesday to Sunday.
Tuesdays we are open in the evening.
The Bar opens at 5pm and the Kitchen at 7pm.
Wednesday to Sunday the bar is open from 1pm to 11.30pm and
the kitchen from 1pm to 3.30pm & again from 7pm to 11pm.
When you book a table in advance you (18+) will receive a complementary glass of pink bubbles on arrival!


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Lynn Schnurnberger on life, writing, and the Best Laid Plans
It's never too late for a fresh start, as the characters in Lynn Schnurnberger's latest riotous romp, Best Laid Plans, soon find out.
Tru Newman, a wealthy stay-at-home mother and Upper East Side New Yorker, laps up her lavish "M&M" (maintenance and mothering) lifestyle, funded mostly by her investment banker husband, Peter. But when Peter loses his job and debt starts to mount, reality doesn't so much hit her as deliver a knock-out blow. Especially when she discovers Peter actually lost his job three months ago and has been carrying out his 9-5 in the local coffee shop. Who now will cover the cost of their apartment, or their 14-year-old twin daughters' private tuition? Not to mention the injection of cash for Tru's regular Botox boosts.
So when Tru's best friend, Sienna Post, loses her nightly newscaster position, the timing couldn't be more perfect to start a business together: an escort service with "working girls" all over the age of forty. Their initial anxiety about the illegality of their entrepreneurial genius is soon forgotten when the money starts coming in. The "Veronica Agency" is a huge hit, and their escorts are in greater demand than both Tru and Sienna could have dreamed.
But with more unpredictable twists and turns in Tru's path of success than a Twilight love tryst, it's no wonder things don't fall in to place quite as she imagined. Add to the mix an over-amorous neighbour who's developed a crush on her husband; a mother who tackles tact with a power tool; twin daughters locked in warfare over the affections of the same boy; and a DA threatening to topple Tru's agency, life is certainly anything but dull.
Reviewers have called the book "touching and laugh-out-loud funny," "frothy, pure wish fulfillment," and "a madcap story of a zany heroine that will make you laugh on a cold winter night."
Schnurnberger's own background is no less interesting or admirable than that of Tru, her main character. Her experience ranges from writing Broadway musicals for children (while still a teen) and creating artwork for the Museum of Modern Art, to being an on-camera reporter, an NBC talk-show producer and a media spokesperson for the hosiery industry. She's also the founder of a successful non-profit organization called Foster Pride, has been featured on bestseller lists, completed editorial stints at More and People magazine, and starred on Oprah. Best Laid Plans is her fourth novel (Lynn is also the bestselling co-author of Mine Are Spectacular! and The Botox Diaries).
Having experienced so many achievements in so many areas (including conquering the pinnacle of an Oprah appearance) what does success now look like for Schnurnberger? Asked if Schnurnberger has any challenges left, she responded, "right now I'm concentrating on our non-profit, Foster Pride, which gives opportunities and mentorship to foster children through art."
Foster Pride started with just 35 children but now reaches between 300 and 400 New York City children each year. There are two recent Foster Pride success stories of which Schnurnberger is particularly proud. "We've just had a young man go to a program at Harvard and another who experienced depression but who has turned himself around and now has a job. Both of these success stories are just so heartening." As Schnurnberger explains though, Foster Prides requires constant funding and caring, so for the time being this is where her attention is focused.
So what advice does she have for female writers with similar aspirations? "Meet other writers and editors and go to events," Schnurnberger said. Her own writing group has been instrumental in her success and provides her with the opportunity to hang out with like-minded people. It's something she recommends to all writers. That and, "have a strong story. Know what that story is in just a few sentences. For example, 'It's a story about a young woman who….' Once you've got that, just write between 500 and 1,000 words a day. Don't get hung up on them being great words. If there's a sentence and you don't know where it will go or what might happen, just write something anyway."
What you write isn't always going to be what people are looking for, though, and when it comes to rejection, she admits that it can be hard to take. "Rejection sucks," she says. "You can't really know if the person rejecting you is wrong or right because so many books that went on to do well were first rejected by gazillions of people. But sometimes it's just not your book. I once wrote three chapters of a book that my agent said, 'just wasn't right' but couldn't say why. There are times when you've got to trust your gut and times when you should listen to other people."
Stepping back from a book for a few months or even a few years can also sometimes be a good thing. If Susan Jeffers hadn't first set aside Feel the Fear and do it Anyway before revisiting it, she might never have achieved international bestseller status. Even Richard Bach, Rudyard Kipling and Dr Seuss all faced rejection at one time. To this point Schnurnberger advises, "Having given it pause, if you really believe in it, then push it."
When immersed in her own writing, Schnurnberger avoids reading other fiction so that she can maintain an authentic, untainted voice. "That first month of development, when you're finding out who your characters are and how they tick, is an important time," she said. But outside of her own projects, she's often immersed in other work.
It seems life for Lynn has been an inspiring journey because of her openness to opportunities and the unpredictable paths created by their pursuit. And, just like the main character in Best Laid Plans discovers, it's these unforeseen adventures that sometimes bring the very nicest of surprises.


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During my final years at uni I decided to move out of my spacious house on the outskirts of the city to student housing within walking distance of university. There was one problem- the homelab.Read more
Author: Jonny
Fixing "The trust relationship between this workstation and the primary domain failed."
Top tip when using Active Directory: always keep the credentials for a local administrator in a password manager somewhere disconnected from your main environment. When the day comes (and it will come) that you're greetedRead more
"Duplicate SID" When Joining Active Directory Domain
I've been doing some fairly large scale labbing at work recently and came across a problem I've somehow dodged until now. I'd created a fully patched Windows Server 2012 R2 VM with a few thingsRead more
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Nexenta NexentaStor is an enterprise grade NAS appliance that provides block (iSCSI) and file (SMB, NFS) services. It's also great for homelabbers as a restricted 'community' edition is available, which makes for a great alternativeRead more
Finding VMware vSphere Update Manager Build Numbers
With the recent discovery of both Meltdown and Spectre I've been dispatched to do some patching. This has led to more than a few compatibility and interoperability checks- fun times indeed. I then realised I'veRead more
Fixing vCenter Error: "Another task is already in progress"
I came across an odd issue for the first time in my lab. A Veeam backup failed to complete with one VM reporting the following- Error: Another task is already in progressRead more
Upgrade VMware vRealize Log Insight
All this monitoring my lab business has got out of hand recently. So much so that I finally decided to upgrade my VMware vRealize Log Insight appliance from the suitably vintage v3.0. It's not aRead more
Deploy OVAs to vCenter with VMware OVF Tool
Try to deploy an OVA in vCenter 6.5 and you'll likely see the following helpful little number- After some mucking about, I found a supported solution- VMware OVF Tool.Read more
Monitor Linux with SNMPv3 and PRTG
Recently I've been focusing on something I've overlooked for too long- monitoring. I wanted to share a quick guide on monitoring Debian / Ubuntu with SNMPv3 and PRTG as I couldn't find any high level,Read more
Clean Up a Full Ubuntu '/boot' Partition
If the /boot partition fills to 100% you'll likely find yourself stuck in a loop. In order to remove old Linux kernels and free space you will likely first need to install dependencies, but toRead more


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Amidst the ongoing housing affordability crisis in the Vancouver region, and just four months before municipal elections, City of Vancouver council earlier this week unanimously approved a new financial strategy for the Housing Vancouver strategy.
Intended to support the addition of 72,000 new homes across Vancouver over the next 10 years — half of which will serve households earning less than $80k/year, and two-thirds of which will be for renters — this is just one among a number of decisions made by Council supporting their Making Room program, including:
- creating Affordable Housing Endowment Fund
- allocation of first $8M of Empty homes tax revenue to support co-ops, rent bank and SRO upgrades
- amendments that would: allow triplexes, quadplexes and other multi-unit forms in low density neighbourhoods; set maximum unit sizes in low-density neighbourhoods; reduce or eliminate parking requirements; provide greater support for projects with community benefit, such as new rental, co-ops, co-housing or land trusts; and, in some circumstances, reduce or eliminate setback requirements and design guidelines that limit housing options.
All of Wednesday's actions are summarized in this press release from the city.
Some critics have expressed concern that increasing allowable density on sites without significant changes to the rezoning and development permit process will just recreate the same affordability crisis we are in today, thus "kicking the can down the road".
Are we sure this will bring affordability and sufficient options to the city? We asked some regular Price Tags contributors what they thought.
Photo: Lanefab Design/Build. Check out their #NoAssemblyRequired collection on Pinterest: "Built Examples of Small Lot Multifamily Housing".Read more »


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(Review originally written at 15 March 2009)
Well, to be honest this movie was a bit of a disappointment. I'm in to the genre and always enjoy a '70's movie and the movie had an impressive cast as well but the overall movie is just not that interesting to watch. It's a bit of a waste of such a fine main concept.
Yes, this really could had been one fine supernatural thriller with lots of suspense and mystery. Instead the movie now is one filled with missed opportunities and wasted potential. Blame the script for that (written by none other than John Carpenter) that just doesn't provide the movie with much interesting or much tension. I mean you basically know from the beginning on that the movie is going to have a twist at the ending, so when it comes it's hardly a surprise or a shock anymore. Besides it's rather weak and thin, as is the entire movie its story basically.
The movie could had also really used a bit more '70's style. Guess Irvin Kershner is a bit of a too old fashioned director to include some experimental '70's oddities, though it could had really uplifted the movie with that particular style.
When you look at the cast list you will be rather impressed. However most of the actors (Tommy Lee Jones, Brad Dourif, Rene Auberjonois, Raul Julia) weren't any big stars yet at the time of this movie and most of them still stood at the beginning of their career. Now days the cast list looks far more impressing than it did back in 1978. Faye Dunaway is the star of the movie and she shines as the female lead.
As far as the genre- and '70's movies in general are concerned, this movie isn't among the best. It's still a perfectly watchable movie but not halve as good or interesting as it concept could had allowed it to become.
Watch trailer


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from 0 review
6 hours
Daily Tour
20 people
The Benin National museum was founded on the 10th of August 1973. It is situated in Ring Road Roundabout, Oka, Benin City. The historical centre has note worthy numbers of antiquities identified with the Benin Empire. The museum is regarded as one of the richest national museum in the country, in respect to the historical affiliations to not just the ancient Benin empire but the surrounding ancients cities. You are not allowed to come in with your cameras because tourists have taken pictures of the artifacts and try to duplicate them in the past. But you are allowed to soak in the beauty of the culture of the Edo citizens which they imputed in their arts and craft by exploring artifacts that not only holds beauty but thousands of untold stories. The museum is opened to anyone and has been a tourist attraction site for many years
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Srebrenica, Bosnia in 1995 was a war zone of horrific measure
Colonel General, Ratko Mladic of the Army of Republika Srpska, Bosnia and Herzegovina along with a joint criminal enterprise, began a genocide not seen since World War II. Mladic and his cohorts started an inhumane transfer of human populations. First, they divided male and female citizens. Following the separation, deportation, killing, persecution, terrorizing and taking of hostages began the ethnic cleansing Mladic instigated.
To this day there are mass graves in the area of Srebrenica
Recently the trial against Mladic has come to a close. The International Criminal Tribunal located in The Hague has come to a verdict against the former Colonel General. Mladic was found guilty to 10 out of 11 charges of crimes committed against humanity. He will now serve a life sentence in prison.
Mladic's responsibility in the genocide against Muslim Bosnians in Srebrenica where more than 7,000 murdered males began trial in May 2012. The time between the massacre and the trial Mladic spent in refuge. The tribunal indicted 161 people who maintained a connection with the same crimes during the wars in former Yugoslavia.
You will find more statistics at Statista
The trial lasted 530 days
Against the Colonel, 377 witnesses appeared in court, and more than 9800 discovery proofs admitted as evidence. He was found guilty for two counts of genocide, five counts of crimes against humanity, three counts of persecutions, four counts of extermination, five counts of murder, seven counts of deportation, eight counts of inhumane acts and forcible transfer.
The lives he took and the ones he ruined are numerous, to say the least. Raped women from the massacre will never be the same. Additionally, they must live with their male loved ones having such a brutal end.
The people of Bosnia suffered and continued to struggle with the genocide
The principle responsibility of the genocide was attributed senior officers in the Bosnian Serb army. However, the United Nations admitted to failure to protect the Bosnians in Srebrenica. Furthermore, Kofi Annan, UN secretary general wrote: "Through error, misjudgment and an inability to recognize the scope of the evil confronting us, we failed to do our part to help save the people of Srebrenica."
Evidence proved there were satellite images of the mass graves and killings which the UN ignored
The UN presents the biggest problem with this case. Officials not only were aware of the genocide and massacres taking place, but they also pretended not to know about it until faced with the apparent reality at which point, apologizing is more acceptable than admitting participation. The UN does not serve or live up to its objective. Moreover, it is a body which oversees these types of international high crimes.
Serbia claims no involvement in the genocide
Meanwhile, Serbia claims no involvement in the genocide. It passed a resolution apologizing for failing to prevent the massacre as if that was enough to mend the damage.
Mladic receives a conviction for the highest crimes committed against humanity according to International Law. The United Nations holds an even more elevated position. That position is one of overseer. As overseer, the organization already knows what is happening. Claiming ignorance is merely an excuse. An apology does not suffice for the "crime against humanity" to which they were privy.
I'd like to see that trial at the Hague.
References: Statistica, Encyclopedia Brittanica, CNN


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Reagan Democrats
Why "Working Guys" Get The Trump Economic Message
Trump's economic message was largely overshadowed by his (accurate) comments that Obama and Hillary Clinton created ISIS, but with 94 million Americans out of the workforce it is by far his most powerful weapon in the battle for the White House.
McConnell Puts Himself Before the Party, Country
Mitch McConnell needs to go, even at the cost of seeing a Dem. elected in KY. We should no longer support Republicans intent on betraying the limited government, common sense politics for which they ran on. At least Dems. are honest about what they are, as opposed to Republicans like Mitch McConnell.
Amnesty and Paul Ryan's Presidential Ambitions
- 2016 GOP Candidates for President
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Along with Paul Ryan's fine personal qualities comes a penchant for granting deference to the interests of the establishment GOP's corporate paymasters and thereby alienating the two blocks of voters Republicans must have to win: Reagan Democrats and Tea Party movement voters. To arm yourself intellectually for the battle over amnesty and illegal immigration, watch the videos in our "Short Course" on amnesty and immigration and be sure to sign our "no amnesty" petition.


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(Gregor Shevchuk and the origins of a succubus)
My mysterious client contacted me for the first time at a very inconvenient moment. A cousin had brought his video camera round to my apartment and we were filming a screen test for television when the phone rang. "Hello, Dr. Markus Hertz."
"Hi. I was wondering if you could help me with some historical research."
"I'm very busy at the moment. Can I ring you back?" I had no intention of ringing him back and thought his unsolicited phone call was not just bad mannered, but an intrusion breaking my flow of concentration.
"It's about a nun."
"The research. It's about a nun. I'm trying to find out the name of a nun."
"Can't you look in the phone book? Nunneries have telephones, you know."
"In the 14th Century?"
I heard my cousin helping himself to food in the kitchen. He said I had wandering arms when I spoke to camera and until he came back I couldn't do anything about them. I sat down and asked the mystery caller what on earth he was talking about.
"She was a nun in Lüne Abbey, probably around 1360 or thereabouts. I'm trying to find out her real name."
"Unless they were lost to fire there could be registers of the nuns from that period. But even if you had the list how would you know which is the nun you're looking for?"
"Because the one I'm looking for had a tail. . . ."
I hung up.
My cousin came back with a bowl of fruit salad. "Who was that?"
"Some crank, I don't know."
"What were they selling?"
"They weren't selling anything. He was looking for a nun with a tail."
"Tale about what?"
The phone rang again and gave me an opportunity to apologise. When he said tale I thought he meant tail. . . . "Hello, Dr. Markus Hertz."
"I think we got cut off just then. My train passed under a bridge."
"Yes, you were telling me this nun had some kind of tale to tell."
"No, sorry. You misunderstood what I was saying. I meant she had a tail. Like an animal's tail."
I hung up again and left the phone off the hook.
The following day I discovered my mystery caller had rung me from a train heading for my home city of Lüneburg. He must have known all about me, my position at the university, my interest in Medieval studies, and the fact that on my way home I always stopped for a drink in the same cafe near the town hall.
He found me at my favourite table and sat down. "Nice city," he said removing his dark grey scarf. I noticed he was scared around the base of his neck and along the top of his collar bones. Deep, but healing scars. "Didn't they kill a load of Nazis here?"
"The Belsen Trials in 1945."
"Yeah, I read about it on Wikipedia. I read some stuff about the abbey too, but there's no mention of the executions."
"Which executions? Belsen or the abbey?"
"In 1359, seventy-two nuns were executed for heresy."
"Well if it's not on Wikipedia it obviously didn't happen." I hadn't forgotten he was looking for a nun with a tail, but my main concern now was what I had to do to get rid of him. A scarred stalker, obviously delusional, you couldn't make it up. However, it would probably make great television. As the mystery man spoke I made an obvious point of checking my phone for messages and sent an email to my literary agent Sabine with a proposal for a television programme.
Have a nutcase with me, but what he wants would make a good documentary. Will call with details.
"I don't expect all this for free," he said.
I missed the details.
"I can pay you a daily rate for your fees. A thousand euros or whatever you guys charge."
"Are you serious?"
He leaned his shaven head towards me and grinned. "Deadly serious, Dr. Hertz."
He left me with nothing more than a date and a conundrum. 1359, find the name of the nun with the tail who was executed for heresy. But I already knew there were no nuns executed at Lüne. It was a Benedictine abbey in a Hanseatic city. It wasn't Bamberg in the middle of the witch trials, there was too much money to be made to go round accusing everyone of witchcraft.
But my mysterious client offered so much money. Even if this was a hoax, I could still play it to my advantage. I rang Sabine to see if she got my email.
"You're ringing me to see if I received your email? Why not just ring to tell me what you wanted to say in your email?"
"I was in a meeting. I couldn't ring you."
"What was the email?"
"Haven't you read it?"
"What was in the email, Markus?"
"Some guy has offered me a thousand euros a day to find the name of a nun executed in 1359. I think we could pitch this story to someone, make a documentary. . . ."
"Markus, I've already told you. You're not made for television."
"I'm working on my image. I can talk to camera without waving my arms around."
"Markus, when you get a moment from your lucrative research deal can we meet to discuss your modest book publishing deal?"
"Okay. I'm free on Friday afternoon."
"I'm not. Two weeks on Thursday morning?"
I was free on the date and we agreed a time. I told her I'd know more about my mysterious brief, if I wasn't dead, that is. Sabine told me to stop being dramatic.
She should have been there when I approached Brother Alfred, Alfred Hoeglitz, who managed the archive at Lüne Abbey. I found him in the gardens guiding two Chinese students around the grounds. He spoke no Chinese and they spoke very little German, so the conversation looked like very bad sign language.
He left them a moment to ask what I wanted. "I've had a strange request, Brother Alfred, I don't know if you can help."
"Spit it out, Dr Hertz."
Brother Alfred's English colloquialisms always caught me off guard. "Yes. 1359, did anything happen here at the abbey?"
"It's a bit before my time."
"Well, obviously. But anything in the history books? I thought I knew the abbey's history, but I'm not aware of anything happening in 1359."
"Like what?"
"Like, a scandal or something. Execution. . . ." I waited for him to stop staring at me. His Chinese guests studied the bare courtyard bushes, laughing and photographing each other against the Gothic windows.
"No. Nothing like that here. You'll have to excuse me, I'm busy."
Off he went. His abruptness was uncharacteristic of the Brother Alfred I had grown to know over the five years I had lived in Lüneburg. He had a sense of humour which could be very sharp. He once told me I had the right face for radio, which at the time I thought was quite original until I discovered it was a popular joke about ugly celebrities. No, Brother Alfred's dismissal was more than an urgent need to get back to his giggling guests, and he looked annoyed when he found me in the corridor outside the abbey library.
"I know you're eager to get your face on television, but I didn't have you down as a tabloid journalist."
"I only asked about an execution, Brother Alfred."
"There were no executions at the abbey, not in 1359 or at any other time in its history."
"What about the Reformation? There were objections to changes in the observances."
"That was 1528. How long were these so-called executions going on for? Did the victims put up a struggle?"
"No, no. Someone asked me about a nun in 1359 here at the abbey. He's obviously mistaken."
"Yes, he is, isn't he."
"Would it be possible to. . . ." I shouldn't have hesitated; the pause gave Brother Alfred an opportunity to calculate his answer.
"Could you look for me? All I want is a list of the names living at the abbey in 1359."
"I'm not becoming tangled up in your sensational hunt for sordid gossip."
"It's not sordid gossip, it's a perfectly legitimate request."
"I know what you're up to."
"What am I up to?"
He created a frame with his fingers. "Television," he said and reversed into his office. "It doesn't suit you, Dr. Hertz." When the door closed in my face I imagined the sound of the lock, the door being broken down in ten years time and Brother Alfred's mummified corpse found after a long search.
I rang the number given to me by the mystery man. "Bad news. I need to get into the archives of the abbey, but I've been told to get lost. You don't owe me anything."
"Don't worry," he said. I hoped the news would put him off. The money was attractive, but I didn't need it. "I can get into the archive if you tell me what to look for."
"What? Hang on a minute." I stepped away from Brother Alfred's eavesdropping office door. "You can't do that. Breaking in is an offence. I'm not getting mixed up with something like that."
"Who said anything about breaking in? What do I need to look for?"
I didn't sleep very well that night. Brother Alfred's mood upset me, but images of the mystery man kept me awake; his face scared me, the way his jaw came forward when he grinned making him look like a gargoyle. Yes, I admit it, his face scared me. He didn't call the next day, or the day after, and I hoped he had given up his quest, thwarted by the obstinate locks of the abbey library.
Enough time passed for me to leave two messages with a producer friend in London. She was the director of an independent production company responsible for several documentaries on history broadcast by the BBC. My presentations to camera were improving and even my over-critical cousin admitted my arms were now fully under control.
Just before mid-day on Tuesday I left the hairdressers and was on my way to the cafe when I heard a whistle. The mystery man was back.
He hunched his shoulder and the rucksack hanging off his back. "I got it," he said and displayed his gargoylic grin. "Where can we go to look at it?"
"What the hell . . . How?"
"Don't ask."
I didn't. The cafe would be too busy to sit peering at a stolen 14th Century document, so I suggested we go back to my office at the university.
Even though I was eager to see this document I made an excuse to keep the meeting brief. "I have some seminars from one o'clock today. Have you looked at the document?"
"Yeah. Doesn't tell me much. Just a load of names and the handwriting isn't too clear either."
I found a pair of gloves and opened the register on the table. He was right. "Did you wear gloves when you handled it?"
"No. I took care not to spill anything. What's the problem? Grease from your hands or something rotting the pages?"
"The oils in your hands. I suppose one person opening it once won't have caused too much damage. What have you been doing with it?"
He grimaced, turned his head, scraped his fingers across his unshaven chin. "Nothing. It's okay. It hasn't been under any table legs if that's what you're worried about."
Table legs were the least of my worries. The vellum pages cracked with distress when I moved them. I held my breath hoping they wouldn't snap.
"Page after page of names," he said. "None of them mention tails."
"What makes you think she had a tail?" I studied the pages, the weak handwriting, the ancient names. The sound of fingers scraped against chin.
"It's just something I heard about. I was curious."
"Curious. A thousand euros a day sounds like something more than curiosity."
"Yeah. I'm not paying you for the last few days. I got this document, not you."
"No, that's fine. I fully understand." With great relief I closed the final page of the register. There was no mention of a tail. "I spoke to the monk at the abbey who looks after the archive. He wasn't aware of any executions in 1359. You either have the date wrong or the abbey wrong."
"No, it's definitely this one." He tapped the register before I could pull it away from his unprotected finger.
"Well, the person who told you, couldn't he help you find the name?"
"It's a she actually, and no. She's not the helpful type." He noticed the time and stood to leave. "I'll let you keep the document. You might have a flash of inspiration or something."
"I'll make sure it's returned safely." I reminded myself to check it was the original. The man had held onto it long enough to make a copy, although I wasn't sure how long a forger needed to make a copy this good.
I cancelled my fictitious seminars and forgot about lunch. For the first time since meeting my mystery client I felt drawn into his search, hooked by the perplexing nature of his seemingly impossible request and headed for the city archives held in Lüneburg's Principality museum.
My initial search was for executions and there were a lot of those for offences ranging from murder to slander. The further back in time I went the more sparse the details became. The 14th Century revealed little. And with nothing resembling a 1359 tabloid newspaper the amount of gossip and rumour at the local level, anything newsworthy amongst the lower classes of Lüneburg, was simply not recorded.
I did find illustrations, woodcuts, general scenes of general activities: a lady in a garden, a carpenter constructing a table, a procession of merchants, a new cargo ship in Hamburg. No execution pyres, no flaming heretics, no anguished nuns perishing in the tongues of an inferno.
The next tactic was to adopt a linear approach, think outside the box. Who was in Lüneburg at that time? It was a Hanseatic city, people coming and going from all sorts of places bringing their stories and lurid accounts with them. Maybe the mystery man's mystery nun appeared in a third hand account of an execution in Delft or Salzburg or Florence, but the longer I searched the quieter and emptier the reading room became until I was the last man standing, scanning with exhaustion and a small amount of tedium a list of European folk tales. The closest mention I could find to a nun with a tail was the description of a Swedish mythological figure called a hulder or huldra.
Creature found in forests, usually female, found across Scandinavian countries, seductive, occasionally protective, related to other creatures such as mermaids
One of the reading room lights blinked. A signal for me to leave. Outside, the early evening chill bit into my skin and shadows began to creep away from the buildings, following pedestrians including me as we scurried home. One shadow caught my attention, a figure walking in a circle, tracing the circumference of a pool of light beneath a street lamp. The figure saw me and approached.
A young woman, hands stuffed into the pockets of her black leather jacket, face partially concealed by a hood, watched the traffic when she spoke. "How's the search going?"
I detected a slight Mediterranean accent, possibly Italian, but tempered by a southern English pronunciation of her words. "Who are you?"
"Have you cross-referenced the names in the document against things like births or deaths?"
"How do you know what I'm looking for?"
She continued to avoid eye contact even when I tried to step in front of her. "It's only a hunch, but in those days people born with disfigurements or ginger hair might have been hidden away in a monastery or an abbey or something. Imagine being born with a tail, I mean, how you gonna get your kid in a school if it has a tail whipping about all over the place."
"Who are you?" The obvious answer, I suppose, was mystery man's girlfriend or wife or partner or possibly the 'she' who had told him about the executions. Here she was trying to torment me with the same ridiculous goose chase.
"Only trying to help." She walked away into the darkest shadows of the city down a narrow side-street. I watched her go, determined to see her walk away and not vanish or fly off above the rooftops, or what was I thinking, sprout a tail and go running towards the heathlands.
On the way home I teased myself by reasserting the fact that the hulder lived in forests not on heathlands or city centres, but the woman had a point: cross-reference the names. I still had the register, I could disguise it inside another book and return to the museum.
In the swirling confusion of the research I nearly forgot an appointment with Magdalene, a friend of a friend of a friend, who owned a pagan book shop. I had reluctantly agreed to host a book signing session once a publishing date was known. Now it was known. Magdalene sat behind the counter of her shop, hidden by mugs decorated with Tantric signs, and dive-bombed by papier mache witches.
The door bell tinkered, I caught my head on a dangling pentagram and apologised for being late.
"My mother told everyone I had the gift of precognition," she said sticking a price tag onto a Lüneburg calendar. "I knew you'd be late."
"You don't need to be a medium to guess that."
Magdalene sighed. "Mediums don't predict the future."
"Mediums. Plural. Shouldn't that be media?"
"Can we get on with why you're here?"
Any visitor to Magdalene's shop would have been astonished that a book signing was possible. There was barely room for two people without being threatened by the hanging paraphernalia and floor to ceiling piles of hermetic and occult furnishings. The shop was called Cornucopia. It should have been called Claustrophobia.
Magdalene introduced me to my signing space. "I can put the table here between the window display and the pewter jewellery."
"Will there be room for a chair?"
"There's a stool." She pointed at the legs visible beneath the table. "This is how it'll be on the day. If it's all right I'll put the table back in the loft."
In addition to the whimsy the shop had a large bookshelf containing a mixture of academic and sensationalist titles, self-published guides and second hand paperbacks. "Do you sell anything about local folklore?"
"One or two titles, I think." She found one. 'Lüneburg Mysteries, Ghosts, Spirits and Haunted Properties.'
"Anything about the abbey?"
"Not that I know of. Not here. Is there something in particular?"
If Magdalene's mother was right, her daughter would have known what I was going to say next. No point keeping it secret. "I heard a story about a nun with a tail."
"Ah, that would be Adelhait Hoegensche."
"What? How do you know that?"
"I thought everyone knew that."
"She was a nun?"
"No, of course not. She was a local witch. Lived in the Ubelriechendenhaus. It's all gone now, but the area was countryside at the time." Magdalene pushed her way towards the shop window. "No one went there. The name roughly means a house smelling of . . . you can imagine the rest."
"What's there now?"
She offered to show me to drop me off at the university and show me on the way. What had been Ubelriechendenhaus was now a collection of converted buildings from the 1970s used as office space. Magdalene left the car and stood facing an open patch of brown grass. "Rather appropriate really. This is roughly where the house might have stood. Not everyone agrees, but I think it was around here somewhere."
The vegetation refused to flourish as if the ground knew about its own past, the reputation, the local name, the house smelling of . . . I didn't want to say it either. Facing that patch of grass made brown by shame and guilt I felt the first indication that I was reconstructing the legacy of a real life. A life cursed by suspicion and misunderstanding, a lonely woman living on the edge of survival, shunned by her neighbours, cast out by her community. And for what? A knowledge of herbs, an acute understanding of nature?
"Well, the locals said she had sex with a bull."
"Oh, Magdalene, for goodness sake."
"I didn't write the books. Frau Hoegensche was thought to be a sorceress. Her familiar was a bull and she's alleged to have had sex with it to curry favour with the Devil."
"Is that why she entered the abbey? I'm surprised they'd have her."
"No, I told you she wasn't a nun. The stories say she had a daughter who was born with a tail. . . ."
A fresh gust of cold wind fled the grassy void, freezing the moisture in my eyes and driving a rippling shiver along my back. Magdalene continued to speak, but I didn't hear the words. Nothing else was relevant, none of it mattered. Adelhait Hoegensche's daughter had a tail. Now the words of the hooded woman outside the museum made sense. Cross-reference the names in the register.
"It's a fascinating story, Magdalene. I'll keep you updated."
"On what?"
"On my research. It was a friend who asked me about the nun. He'll be interested to know about what you've told me."
Back in my office I locked the door, unlocked the drawer to my desk and studied the register, examining every name with diligence until I came across Jutta Hoegens. It was similar to Hoegensche, but without the feminine ending, perhaps deliberately excluded to indicate the lack of a human father; a reminder of the shame she had to carry. I looked online for Adelhait Hoegensche, hoping to find a connection. She wasn't a figment of Magdalene's imagination and more importantly, all the accounts agreed she was born between 1280 and 1290 and died sometime between 1330 and 1340.
The office phone rang. I jumped, closed the register and tried to lock it away at the same time as answering the phone. "Hello, Dr Markus Hertz."
"Yes, I know it's you, Dr. Hertz. I need to meet you sooner rather than later."
My stomach lightened. Professor Matheus wanted to speak to me sooner rather than later: his favourite euphemism for you're in trouble.
Such was the urgency, Professor Matheus agreed to meet me the following morning at 8a.m. When I entered his office I found myself in front of the faculty's great and good. A panel of three professors, the accumulated knowledge of their academic life totalling one hundred and sixty years pulling their faces into their necks.
Professor Matheus played with his spectacles to emphasise his main concerns. "Had an informal encounter with Brother Alfred Hoeglitz the other day. He's worried about you."
"Why would he be worried about you, Dr Hertz?"
"I'm guessing you already know the answer."
"Yes I do." The others did too, nodding in unison, their combined gaze superheating my face. "You're up to something."
"I . . . No, I'm not up to something. I was asked about an event at the abbey in 1359. I thought Brother Alfred might know, he didn't. End of story."
"It's never the end of the story, Dr Hertz. Executions, witchcraft, supernatural what-have-you. I don't mind if you want to ruin your academic standing, but not at the university's expense. Will it be at the university's expense, Dr Hertz?"
"No. If you must know I haven't been back to see Brother Alfred. The question is, I don't know, unanswerable."
The panel waited for a reason, but then chortled as if all three of them had been tickled at the same time by an unseen hand. Professor Matheus leaned to his right. "He sounds like a physicist." The chortling increased. "Brother Alfred thinks you've been in the abbey library after he told you he couldn't help."
"I haven't been back to the library or the abbey for that matter."
"Things disturbed, Dr Hertz. And a curious smell lingering amongst the bookshelves."
"Sulphurous. Maybe you are a physicist on the sly, Dr Hertz. You're not practising alchemy, are you?" Professor Matheus was probably normal once, but age, intellect and perhaps a malfunctioning gland somewhere had turned him into a sentence-truncating quiz master.
"What were you enquiring about?" The question came from Professor Matheus's right hand man, Professor Lebanowski.
"I was told, incorrectly as it happens, that seventy-two nuns were executed at the abbey in 1359. I wanted to know if this was true and possibly identify one of the victims."
Regardless of any wrongdoing, a faculty panel is a faculty panel made up of academics who can't resist an unsolved problem. They sat in silence for a few seconds before Lebanowski said, "Could that be Bishop Salin?"
Professor Matheus, spectacles in mouth, nodded. "Possibly. Gustav of Gothia, he is on record for signing off executions, but not in Lüneburg. He wouldn't have had the final say, that would have been," he clicked his fingers for the name.
"Albert II."
"Albert II. He never had anyone executed."
To his left Professor Grohl offered another detail, "He had several hung in Stockholm, didn't he? On the orders of Magnus IV"
"Who? Albert II?"
"No, Salin."
"Oh. Yes, blamed the Black Death on them, but nothing in Lüneburg. He came and went, was only here four years," Professor Matheus stopped himself when he caught my intense – possibly over-intense – attention. "Before his death."
They continued to mutter, passing around one factual pebble after another, a verbal footpath of history tracing Bishop Salin's progress from Stockholm via remnants of the old Swedish empire in northern Germany to the Hanseatic cities, and ultimately Lüneburg where he oversaw the observances of the Reformation.
"Was he sympathetic to the nuns' objections?" I said.
"Of course he wasn't," said Professor Matheus. "He was a tyrant. They all were. But significantly, and unfortunately for you, Dr Hertz, he was no executioner. No inquisitor. Don't change the subject."
"I wasn't, how was I changing the subject?"
"You're here to explain what you were doing in the abbey library, leaving a bad smell everywhere."
History presented its peculiar sense of irony. A diabolical coincidence that had me and the mother of my mystery nun associated with bad smells. I'm sure she had a tougher time than I was having, but my accusers were no less intractable in their determination to assign guilt. Guilt based on hearsay, Brother Alfred's anecdotal speculation.
"I was not in the library, Professor Matheus. There's nothing more I can say."
We left the issue unresolved, my innocence unproven, but Professor Matheus promised to look further into the matter. I left the hearing shaken, but also elated to have been given another piece of the puzzle, another name. According to a brief online search Bishop Salin was a traveller, a demagogue and not one to mince his words. He may not have been an inquisitor, but only because he was born too early. And then I found out why Professor Matheus refused to reveal how the bishop had died.
He had been nailed to the door of the abbey in 1359, allegedly by the Devil himself.
I rang the mystery man to update him.
"That's incredible. You think her mother was a witch?"
"I don't think anything. I'm trying not to draw conclusions that can't be explained by rational science. But yes, if the accounts are correct and we're talking about the same person, the nun may have been the daughter of a local woman accused of witchcraft, and at the time of the executions there was a bishop here in Lüneburg with a reputation for severe justice. But before we get carried away, there are no accounts of an execution for heresy in Lüneburg in 1359. None."
"You're sure of that?"
"As sure as the records allow. If this were a court of law the evidence would be circumstantial. There's no direct link, no smoking gun." I remembered the Professor's description of the smell in the abbey library. "When you went to the library to get the register were you striking matches?"
"Striking matches?"
"Yes, to see in the dark perhaps?"
"No." Over the phone I heard his fingers scraping his chin. "No, I always use a cigarette lighter."
"To see in the dark?"
"To light a cigarette!"
I concluded the phone call by reminding him of the name, Jutta Hoegens, and told him there was nothing more I could do. The following day I found a large letter in my internal mail containing three thousand euros in crumpled notes. Wild goose chases could be quite lucrative, more lucrative than publishing an academic text book.
My literary agent Sabine wanted the title shortening. She met me with the news at the same table in the same cafe where I first met the mystery man several weeks earlier. "Echoes of An Ancient Memory. The Legacy of Pagan Belief in the Christian Monasteries of Europe, 1045 to 1684. It's almost as long as the book."
"Imagine how easily you could sell it on the back of a television documentary," I said. My wry smile didn't convince her.
"Forget television. Johanna wants the whole lot rewritten, more accessible, shorter title."
"Well, Johanna knows best. Can't we get a more sympathetic editor who won't shove a spoke through the wheels at the eleventh hour?"
"It's not the eleventh hour."
"It's a lot of work."
"Well, you'd better make a start then. Forget all your presentation tutorials and ghost hunting."
"I wasn't ghost hunting. It was a perfectly legitimate request. And the answer turned out to be surprisingly revealing. What started as a bizarre question became a fascinating insight into local history. The way facts become transformed into folklore over time. I wondered if there might be a PhD in it."
"Not a documentary?"
"Don't think I've given up on that ambition. If you're not interested I'll find someone who is."
Sabine searched her tablet. I thought she was ignoring me, but she pulled up a photograph of a man with a handlebar moustache, standing in front of what looked like an electric chair. "He would make good television. Go and speak to him, find out what you have to do to make yourself appealing to the masses."
"Who is he?"
"Uli Thorsholm. He's publishing a book in two months time and the pre-orders have gone through the roof."
I looked for the title of his book: the Encyclopedia of Execution. "He's a nutcase."
"He's marketable."
"He's got a handlebar moustache. He has a face for radio if ever I saw one."
"He's also sitting on fifty thousand pre-orders. You'll be sat on a stool when you do your book signing in that pagan shop."
She had to throw that one at me. I couldn't be bothered explaining it was a favour and that there'd be other venues, not just in Lüneburg but across the region. Uli Thorsholm's moustache would never get through the door of Cornucopia without getting caught on something.
But Thorsholm may have been more than a portent of my book's underwhelming sales potential. An expert on executions might know what was going on in Lüneburg in 1359. There had been so much opposition to the possibility of an execution that I wanted to prove them all wrong out of sheer bloody-mindedness. Thorsholm also lived in a house at the foot of the Alps. A perfect excuse for a weekend away from the combined sadism of Baltic and North Sea weather.
Thorsholm was a willing host and probably thought my interest would lend his own work some academic credibility. He certainly needed it. I found him at home in a timber chalet surrounded by a protective pine forest and a wood pile that would keep his fires burning for decades. Thorsholm led me into a room where he was testing a home-made guillotine.
"What the hell is that?"
"It's based on the Madame that decimated the French aristocracy. It's a one thirty-second scale model." It was also big enough to remove a man's leg. He demonstrated the speed and fluidity of the mechanism by cutting in half a succession of large vegetables and when he was satisfied with the contraption's potency placed a small log at the base. The blade cut it in half like a piece of pork.
Later, over a meal of sliced ham and Stella Artois (Thorsholm only drank French beer) we discussed executions in the fourteenth century and I guided him towards Lüneburg, the abbey and Bishop Salin. The name stopped him drinking, the beer glass paused beneath a toupee of froth hanging off his handlebar moustache.
"Do you know how he executed one woman?"
He placed his glass on the table and cleared his moustache. "This is only anecdotal, but I've heard of similar methods in other cultures in other periods of time. Salin is alleged to have ordered a woman, a heretic to pay for her sins, her pagan beliefs, by having a cow's tale sewn into her back. And then she was forced to walk around the town with the tail where everyone would ridicule her, gossip, maybe even attack her. And then after maybe two weeks she would die from the infection. A slow cruel way to kill someone, Dr Hertz."
Slow and cruel, two words that together equalled barbaric. Thorsholm's account, anecdotal or not, saddened me, the possibility of it being true had repercussions for a real human being, possibly Jutta Hoegens, daughter of the outcast Adelhait Hoegensche. On the journey back to Lüneburg Thorsholm's explanation haunted me. He was a good host and saw that I was disturbed by what he had told me. Before I walked away from his chalet he patted my shoulder and told me that he might be wrong, that it was only folklore, but folklore always had a kernel of truth. Folklore rarely evolved from a vacuum.
The following Monday I slumped in the chair of my office still dazed from the idea of a heretic being executed by septicaemic poisoning. I opened my desk drawer, it was locked. The register. I still had the register. My mystery client would have to take it back. If I was caught anywhere near the abbey I'd lose my job. . . .
"Yeah, sure I'll take it back. It's not a problem."
"It should be. It's a stolen document. Mind you, I don't want to know. Just get it back where it belongs please. I'll meet you in the cafe."
He was there at the time we agreed. Six p.m. A busy cafe, too many people to notice anything suspicious about a package being handed from one man to another. I told him all about my meeting with Uli Thorsholm, but the mystery man seemed more interested in how Thorsholm cared for his handlebar moustache.
"I don't know what it is about German men and their moustaches," he said scraping his own rough stubbled chin. "Keep it clear, that's what I always say. No chance of bugs and mites living on your face."
"Yes, thanks for that. Are you going to get the register back tonight?"
"If it'll put your mind at ease, yes. No, seriously, Dr Hertz I'm grateful for your help. This is the least I can do. You can trust me."
If only he hadn't grinned when he said the words trust me.
Expecting him to leave immediately I had to endure another few hours of him and his theories, opinions and solutions to a myriad of world problems, none of which involved urgency. I asked him what he did for a living, but he was reluctant to tell me.
"I get around. I shouldn't really talk about it. I'm taking some time off."
Whatever he did paid well. He had the register in his bag, I had three thousand euros in mine, but despite the lucrative stash I couldn't resist following him when he finally decided to leave. The time was after ten, the Lüneburg streets relatively quiet, quiet enough for him to hear my trailing footsteps, so I held back a little.
Of course, leaving the cafe late made sense. Any earlier and there might be people still milling around the abbey. The mystery man appeared to have a knowledge of espionage or even breaking and entering. I concluded he must be a spy, a member of an intelligence agency. He wasn't German, his accent was eastern European, possibly Russian. Keeping a good thirty metres between us I wondered if I had revealed some national secret to a Russian spy, or perhaps I was walking into a trap: he'd take his money back, stuff me in a sports holdall and make off with a priceless document. . . .
. . . Full of unidentifiable names. My mind raced ahead of me and I had to restrain myself from chasing after it. After letting him cross the river I paused on Am Fischemarkt. Realising I couldn't follow him all the way to the abbey on foot (he had far more energy than me) I was about to order a taxi when I felt a presence. The hooded woman was following me following the mystery man.
"Did you find out?"
My prey was escaping. "Find out?" I lost sight of him at the junction. "Find out what?"
"The name of the nun? Seemed pretty obvious to me from what you described. It's not like th'owd days is it," she changed her accent to some peculiar English dialect and spoke like an old woman. "Like in my day you ad'fot go t'library and read up a buk."
"Yes, very good. Have you considered a career in television? It's not as easy as you think."
"Haven't got the face for television."
From what I could see she didn't have a face at all, just a voice drifting from the deep shadow of her hood. "I have to go, nice to talk to you again. And thanks for the help." I ran ahead and called a taxi. I must have reached the abbey before the mystery man, although I arrived without passing him on the way. I had to know how he got in, whether by stealth or invite. There was no sign of anyone at the entrance, no lurking figures, no dashing silhouettes. Cautiously I approached the library, avoiding the lights, ducking under illuminated windows, ready to hide from doors opening suddenly.
The library was in darkness, but enough latent light caught the outlines of the furniture, the mass of the bookshelves, a hint of the polished flooring. The room was empty, but as I crept towards the southern end of the building I detected a smell, a feint whiff of matches. I told myself matches had no sulphur content. My mouth dried up. I stopped along the wall to let my thumping heartbeat recover. The smell grew stronger, a dominant odour of brimstone hanging like an invisible cloud around my head. I peered through the corner of the window, but the source of the smell remained hidden.
Unless, unless it was the product of the two figures I glimpsed inside the library. I ducked away from the window, but the glimpse was enough to force me to look again, to confirm what I thought I saw. I was right: two figures spread across a table, a man and a woman, very close, entangled, her legs wrapped around him, his torso thrusting. . . . They were having sex in the abbey library. The brimstone intensified, I heard them groan and a thud, the sound of a stray limb against the thick wooden table. It struck again and the woman moved, rolled slightly to her right and there swiping through the gloom of the library, a tail, a whip-like chord with a flared tip of hair, it swished with obvious sexual ecstasy, rising, pausing and then returning to the table with the same thud.
I stepped back from the window, dragged myself into the shadow and waited open mouthed, waited for my brain to offer an explanation, anything, I didn't care: scientific, nonsensical, speculative, some comforting reason why a man would be making love to a woman with a tail in the library of an abbey. Lüne Abbey, the 14th Century home of a nun with a. . . .
"You found him then." It was her, the girl, the woman. Whoever she was. Whatever she was. I still couldn't see her face.
"Who are you?"
"Doesn't matter who I am, it's who she is that matters. Do you believe what you just saw?"
My fear of the hooded woman forced me towards the window. I couldn't help looking again, but the couple had gone, the smell diminished, the tail a treacherous memory. "Do I believe it?" I wanted to see the face of the hooded woman and whether she too had a tail, but she backed away from me. "No, no I don't."
"Good. Are you going to tell anyone?"
"They wouldn't believe me if I did."
"Good. No need to kill you then. I don't like killing people, in spite of what they say about me. Don't believe a word of it." Her voice trailed away until she was gone, another ridiculous deception devoured by Lüneburg's intense shadows. I hoped the window would help, but its Gothic decoration offered only mottled fragments and in the coloured panels between the lead veins of the glass I saw the vague reflection of a distant winged figure flying across the rooftops of the city as if lifted by some unearthly thermal, circling until distance and the darkness of night took it away from me.
"I know I said I wouldn't talk to anyone about it, but when you turned up this evening I thought I should tell you."
My producer friend, in Lüneburg to meet my agent (although their discussions were not about me), wanted to talk discreetly, but the book signing squeeze inside Cornucopia made a private chat impossible. We forced our way outside.
"Did you get photos?" she said.
She glanced at the gathering clouds before saying, "Well, with everything that's going on at the moment it might make a half hour programme for radio. You have a face for radio, Markus."


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Buy Guide
We attempt to provide as much information as possible about the products and professionals involved in designing the homes we show in our pages. Items not sourced here are probably not available for sale; they might be antiques or part of an owner's personal collection. When an item or product line is widely available, we may not list a specific store for it. If you have a question about our sources, please write to us at email@example.com.
Interior design: Gary Lee and Susan Eichinger, Gary Lee Partners, 360 W. Superior St., 312-640-8300, garyleepartners.com. Architect: Amy Mangold, Stuart Cohen & Julie Hacker Architects, 1322 Sherman Ave., Evanston, 847-328-2500, cohen-hacker.com. Builder: Scott Simpson Builders, scottsimpsonbuilders.com. Landscaping: Kathleen Golomb, Kettelkamp & Kettelkamp Landscape Architecture, Evanston, 847-905-1281. Dining room: Sconces, Studio G by Gary Lee Partners, refurbished by New Metal Crafts, 812 N. Wells St., 312-787-6991, newmetalcrafts.com. Table, chairs, TG Couture, tgcouture.com. Lithographs, Robert Longo, robertlongo.com. Carpet, Sam Kasten Handweaver, samkasten.com. Living room: Photograph, Michael Eastman, eastmanimages.com. Coffee table, Profiles, profilesny.com. Nesting tables, candelabrum, Studio G. Carpet, Sam Kasten. Sterling table, custom sofa, chairs, TG Couture. Study: Desk, credenza, TG Couture. Club chairs, BDV Deco, bdvdeco.net. Settee, Benjamin Storck, San Francisco, 415-863-1777. Coffee table, TG Couture. Rug, Sam Kasten. Den: Sectional couch, TG Couture. Master bedroom: Fabric wall panels, Cowtan & Tout, cowtan.com. Wallcovering, Wolf-Gordon, wolf-gordon.com. Sconces, Barovier & Toso, barovier-toso.com. Benches, Holly Hunt, 1728 Merchandise Mart, 312-661-1900, hollyhunt.com. Bed, nightstands, TG Couture. Lamps, Elements, 741 N. Wells St., 312-642-6574, elementschicago.com. Drapery, Coraggio Textiles, coraggio.com. Carpet, Tai Ping, taipingcarpets.com. Master bathroom: Vanity table, TG Couture. 1930s Art Deco boudoir bench, Studio G. Cabinetry design, Stuart Cohen & Julie Hacker. Horn handles, Kara Mann, 119 W. Hubbard St., 312-893-7550, karamann.com. Floors and walls, honed Botticino marble. Countertop, polished Gaudi marble. Sconces, Kentfield Collection, Boyd Lighting, boydlighting.com. Breakfast room: Glass table, Doge 260, Luminaire, 301 W. Superior St., 312-664-9582, luminaire.com. Ponza chaises, Interieurs; interieurs.com. Bocci chandelier, Luminaire. Playroom: Sofa, TG Couture. "It's a Pill" stackable cushions, Morlen Sinoway, 1052 W. Fulton Mkt., 312-432-0100, morlensinoway.com. Hans Wegner Shell chairs, Morlen Sinoway. Coffee table with upholstered nesting stools, Gigogne pouf, Manifesto, 755 N. Wells St., 312-664-0733, manifestofurniture.com.


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Mr. Speaker, today I express my sincere congratulations to Toronto's archbishop, Thomas Collins, on his upcoming elevation to cardinal.
As this country's 16th cardinal, Archbishop Collins will become the primary spokesman for the church in English Canada. He enters the College of Cardinals as Canada's third active member, joining Cardinal Marc Ouellette, president of the Congregation of Bishops in the Vatican, and Cardinal Jean-Claude Turcotte, the Archbishop of Montreal.
Archbishop Collins' appointment is a wonderful reflection on him personally, on his character, his capabilities and his contributions to Canada and to the church. It also recognizes the importance of the Archdiocese of Toronto, which is home to more than one million Catholics.
In addition, Archbishop Collins' elevation to Cardinal is a great honour for Canada; a tribute to our country in the eyes of the Holy See.
As a Roman Catholic member of Parliament, I look forward to celebrating this great event in Rome on behalf of Canadians this February 18. May God bless and guide Archbishop Collins in his new responsibilities as a cardinal.


text:
You knew the hype around Pedro Martinez was unbelievable when the Boston Globe began running game stories from his starts in Spanish. There have been plenty of unfair comparisons between Daisuke Matsuzaka and Pedro -- unfair to both men. But the hype? Eerily similar.
Also, a consensus builds around Matsuzaka's expectations. Averaging the projections, which are pretty similar:
- 196 2/3 IP, 3.55 ERA, 1.21 WHIP, 15 wins, 8 K/9
(You can also find an Igawa prediction here.)


text:
Strongher Ambassador
Cynthia Schultz
18 May 1990 The Netherlands
Alias Miss Lipgloss is a lifestyle- and beauty blogger on her own website misslipgloss.nl. She blogs everyday about different kind of beauty products, makes video's about beauty and gives tips and tricks. Miss Lipgloss is participating in the third edition of Cycle4Girls in March 2016. Cycle4Girls raise funds for projects of 'Plan Nederland' to give girls in Vietnam a better future. Ex-pro cyclist Marijn de Vries supports the participants with training and advice.


text:
Facility Maintenance, Promotion Programs
SPONSORSHIP is when a business makes a donation to a charity and, in return, receives advertising or promotion of its brand, products or services. Sponsorships don't receive tax receipts because they receive promotional value for their efforts. Providing sponsorship to a charity or to a charitable event is not a gift, and a charity generally cannot issue a receipt for sponsorship. (CanadianCharityLaw.ca)
This is at the heart of the program because it is the 'envelope' for taking care of seemingly random things, as well as planned activities that do not fall into other categories, e.g.:
Trailering to, and renting indoor arena facilities in order to continue offering sessions during bad weather.
Plans to add a roof onto the round pen
Funds for hired farm help during peak season
Helmet sizes availability for all ages
The correct fitting of tack and equipment for both horse and rider is extremely important for their health, safety and general wellbeing. Loose or ill fitting clothing or helmets, and blankets, bits, bridles or saddles either too small or large can easily cause unnecessary problems!
Whether it is a child, youth, or young adult that comes to Victory Time Farm Therapeutic Riding Inc for a therapy session, or an interested parent or supervisor, or service provider and client just doing a look-around, someone (besides Lacie the donkey aka personal welcoming committee, of course) has to be here.
As facilitators we know our horses best and our job encompasses helping smooth the efforts of contact and communication between horse and person, and then interpret horse behaviour and signals to the client. The sessions are virtually one-on-one, so it occupies a great amount of time. (And there are only 24 hours in a day to get everything done!) We are hoping to be in a place where we can afford to have more assistants who are qualified in therapy to help us with our clients.
CHEQUES can be made out to:
Mailing address:
1048 Bolton Road,
Merrickville, Ontario,
Donations by e-TRANSFER:
Simply e-mail us HERE and we will contact you to arrange a password for the electronic transfer of funds.
Click on GOFUNDME logo for link to our donation page
Type in: VICTORY TIME FARM THERAPEUTIC RIDING
See the photo link "Kids Achieving The Unexpected"
Want to VOLUNTEER?
PASSIONATE PEOPLE, click HERE to e-mail us
Want to SPONSOR a horse or a project?
THANK YOU! Please click on the SPONSOR button to e-mail us
Want to DONATE?
THANK YOU! None of what we do is possible without you! We have multiple projects on the go, and things that require attention every day. We've categorized them into responsibility boxes and highlighted specific requirements, farther below.
You can make a donation using any one of three methods, and earmark it for general funding, or let us know which area you'd like to support
TROUBLE WITH A LINK OR A PROCESS? ANY QUESTIONS? No problem! Please contact us via e-mail at email@example.com or call Viki or Paul at: 613-269-4913
People believe they are individually too ineffective or insignificant to bring about a positive difference when in reality , any difference to a situation mostly occurs through individual efforts, little by little, day by day. And any daily effort towards improving upon the circumstances of every yesterday, makes the difference. Simple as that. - Unknown


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Property Location
In the heart of Hue, Romance Hotel is close to Dong Ba Market and Truongtien Bridge. This 4-star hotel is within close proximity of Hue Museum of Royal Fine Arts and Imperial City.
Make yourself at home in one of the 131 individually decorated guestrooms, featuring minibars and plasma televisions. Your pillowtop bed comes with down comforters. Complimentary wired Internet access keeps you connected, and cable programming is available for your entertainment. Partially open bathrooms with shower/tub combinations feature deep soaking bathtubs and designer toiletries.
Relax at the full-service spa, where you can enjoy massages and body treatments. If you're looking for recreational opportunities, you'll find a nightclub, a health club, and an outdoor pool. This Art Deco hotel also features complimentary wireless Internet access, wedding services, and a television in a common area.
Enjoy a meal at one of the hotel's dining establishments, which include 2 restaurants and a coffee shop/café. From your room, you can also access 24-hour room service. Mingle with other guests at a complimentary reception, held daily. Relax with your favorite drink at a bar/lounge or a poolside bar. A complimentary buffet breakfast is served daily.
Business, Other Amenities
Featured amenities include complimentary wired Internet access, a business center, and limo/town car service. Planning an event in Hue? This hotel has 350 square feet (33 square meters) of space consisting of a conference center and a meeting room. A roundtrip airport shuttle is provided for a surcharge (available on request), and free self parking is available onsite.


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Indian e-commerce giant Flipkart.com has entered into a distribution deal with US-based aggregator and digital distributor Publish On Demand Global (PODG) to enable US independent authors and publishers gain access to readers in India.
The deal was finalised last month, and as part of the partnership, Flipkart will allow all digital content distributed through PODG's network to be made available for sale in India to any reader with an Android, iOS or Windows 8 device. Additionally, Flipkart will also make PODG's full store front available via its website for those who prefer desktop viewing.
PODG, through its partners and affiliates, currently provides services (print books, eBooks, mobile books and tablet books) to approximately 10,000 authors and publishers around the world. Earlier this year, PODG had entered into a print distribution partnership with Flipkart, as well as its direct competitor Infibeam.com.
"It has been three weeks since we left Delhi and our books are already live on Flipkart.com which is stellar. Deals never happen this fast in China. With a market size of 1.2 billion and a literacy rate of 74 per cent and growing India could very well be the next China for the US publishing industry," said Kait Neese, managing director of PODG.
Flipkart.com claims to have over 10 million registered users, and is getting 1 million visitors on a daily basis. According to a study, the platform holds more than 75 per cent market share for online book sales in India. Last August, the company had launched its eBooks app for three new platforms—iOS, Windows Phone and PC browsers (the Android version was launched in late November 2012).
During the same time, Flipkart also entered into an agreement with US-based indie eBook distributor Smashwords, Inc. for enabling publishers and authors to distribute eBooks through the company's e-commerce portal. As part of the partnership, Smashwords' eBook store was made available on Flipkart's site as well as its e-reading apps for Android, iOS and Microsoft Windows 8 platforms.
Earlier this month, Flipkart.com had announced that it hit $1 billion revenue run rate in GMV (gross merchandise value), one year before its target. Revenue run rate is the projected revenues based on sales in a month. The statement, in effect, means Flipkart sold products worth around $83 million or around Rs 500 crore last month. In comparison, India's largest retailer Reliance Retail reported sales of close to Rs 4,000 crore for the quarter ended December 31, 2013.
"In March 2011, we had announced that by 2015 we wanted to hit $1 billion in GMV. At that point in time, our run rate was $10 million. Today, we are really proud to announce that we have hit a run rate of $1 billion GMV one year before our target," Flipkart's co-founders Sachin Bansal and Binny Bansal had said at the time.
(Edited by Joby Puthuparampil Johnson)


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Blog post -
Hackers Target Wi-Fi Hotspots to Exploit Company Data
Partner Services Marketing Manager Cisco Services EMEAR
Whilst reading some of the latest news around data and corporate information security, I noted the added concern of hackers becoming even more determined to find exploits in corporate infrastructure, especially those mobile workers who may log on to company networks from public Wi-Fi hotspots. And, with the considerable rise in the availability of public wi-fi hotspots (now estimated at more than 12 million globally), cyber criminals are exploiting this growing trend of accessing networks from public places such as coffee shops.
Corporate data seems to be the new modern day oil with the criminal fraternity falling into two camps – those who wish to take data in order to sell it to the highest bidder, or the bedroom hacker or "hacktivist" who does it to test their own skills and gather trophies. Indeed, the latter is more likely to be sucked up into the world of crime as the often exaggerated riches become just too much of an enticement to ignore. Public Wi-Fi is as good a hunting ground as any.
Fuelled by mobility and the rising use of BYOD (Bring Your Own Device), attackers are looking for soft targets to exploit networks, and are on the lookout for those innocent users who logon from the local coffee shop without the safety of a VPN, attempting to trick them into connecting to a hotspot that mimics those seen in cafes, pubs and coffee shops.
These attacks, known as "man in the middle" aims to compromise a device, change the DNS configuration, and replace IP addresses with domains under criminal control, redirecting any requests without the user's knowledge and intercepting sensitive information.
A recent example of this type of attack was seen at the European Parliament, which was forced to turn off its public Wi-Fi system after it discovered that a man in the middle attack was being performed through its service.
With more and more of us using cloud based applications to access data that may be off the corporate network, this is even more of a problem as most of these services do not use the secure HTTPS protocol.
To what scale this has become a problem is somewhat unknown, but with the rise in attacks on networks from Wi-Fi hotpots, there is a need to ensure vigilance. Communication and warnings to users when accessing corporate data whilst on the move are essential, and ensuring that devices carry the latest patches and updates to the VPN to avoid both costly and potentially damaging breaches in security are vital armouries in the fight against the hacker community.
Follow the Cisco Security blog for the latest information on exploits and vulnerabilities and how you can secure your corporate networks and data. https://blogs.cisco.com/tag/security-2/
- Electronic business, communication
- security
- services
Cisco (NASDAQ: CSCO) is the worldwide leader in networking that transforms how people connect, communicate and collaborate.


text:
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