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Zero Punctuation: Ninja Gaiden 2
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This week, Yahtzee unravels the mystery of the Ninja. Well, at least the mystery of Ninja Gaiden 2.
i was expecting runescape after the cohan review oh well
W00t ive been waiting for this so long!!!
Fuckin A
Ah brilliant summing up of a moderately okay game.
another extremely entertaining review.
I salute you.
I like the references to the ability to lop off limbs.
Of course Yahtzee is always the first to point out how noticeable a female characters cleaveage is.
The question he raised about can you complain if you expect a game to be hard was also interesting
Oh wow.
Nice, old school style ZP for once. I liked it.
Almost snorted a cherry pit out my nose when the CIA guys popped up.
Interesting I guess, I didn't really laugh quite as much as other reviews but.. Can't win them all. The whole bit about the womens stupidly large tits was quite funny.. I'm a simple man.
Gaiden sucks, the difficulty level is insanely hard and frankly the Japanese designers are way to eagerly at wacking off at bloody 4 oraficed blood fountains
great as usual i didn't expect it to be that hard and bad camras are part of the flaws not the challenge
Brilliant one, will watch it again right now. Thanks Yahtzee! Until next week, damn, 7 days minus 5 minutes to go.
Brilliant as usual.
After a brief haitus of watching ZP (and when catching up, not being too impressed with what I saw), today's video was...better.
I have to say, when Yahtzee gets angry over a game, it's usually pretty good, but when it misses the mark, I can't help but wonder if I should be smiling or skipping to the next gay/tits joke. But nevertheless, it was funny, confirmed all my beleiefs on how rip-your-nuts-off-and-feed-them-to-the-dog-difficult NGII was going to be (being on of the many who never got past the 1st boss in the previous installment due to a lack of Neo-like reflexes and the fact that I could be doing something more constructive with my life, like removing all my toes with a bolt cutter), and, rather than the E3 naysaying, was actually balanced.
I know it's far too presumptious to think Y hisself reads these comments, but if he does, please, please bear this in mind:
We love you, and when you rip into something, it's usually gold - but there's a fine line between being critical and being negative. Keep it fair (if only to a token level), keep it bitter and keep 'em coming.
hahaha i love the little dig at the wii at the start:)
good review. but i wonder what difficulty he played it on? because path of acolytes is easy, warrior is annoying, mentor is insane and master ninja gives me nightmares. and am i the only who had no camera trouble, and never had peoples arms fall off without a significant amount of work?
that being said the part where you get hit my an un-avoidable exploding shuriken made me laugh my ass of because of how true it was. i now have an urge to go finnish beating it on mentor, but i know if i do i will have to accept yelling at the TV for hours on end.
great review, as usual! i have to agree that the the difficulty is too high...
Let me just get it out of the way before more uninspired 'good one' posts appear that I want Yahtzee to go back and watch some of his very first ZP/FR videos. I was wondering what was so different, in a bad way, about his latest films and I discovered that it's because he went from a very proper and professional sounding critic to an angry videogame nerd... and we already have one of those.
Essentially, he should stop yelling and sounding so excited as much as he should just sound like a carefree reviewer.
If you don't believe me, watch this video again, then watch the Heavenly Sword video.
My sentiments exactly - criticism, not trolling, please.
ba dum tish - That pretty much surmises the entire game, it's just Team Ninja going "Ha ha, you buy more game of ninja guy doing same thing as last time. We make more money"
Couldn't ask for a more entertaining and bluntfully true review. HOWEVER, I'm suprised and unhappy you forgot to mention the jackassery of Team Ninja of adding 3 new sets of costumes for 200 points each, when they should of bundled it all together for 200 points, or add the suits as unlockables to the Mission Mode or something.
some of your best work, and that's impressive.
honestly...you don't think money could have changed it???
When Hell freezes over.
as always, brilliant! I thought Ninja Gaiden II was an amazing game, but i think something was missing from it. Camera was yeah... shit, but beats the fuck outta Alone in the Dark! NOW REVIEW DARK SECTOR! that was a shit game!
The CIA uniforms were a nice touch.
Not so keen on the closing analogy. I prefer a bit of funny with my offensive.
For once, I disagree with you, Yahtzee. Pirates aren't the best. Vikings and zombies are, haha.
I haven't bought the game yet, so I can't judge the review otherwise, really, but it was comedic as usual and change from my boring life, again, as usual.
Another fun review, although I love the game he is indeed right about the camara, and the REALLY ANNOYING exploding shurikens in the later levels. If you want to see them coming you need some kind of super-human/Spiderman-ish precognition so you can actually block them. The camara is indeed very dodgy, and the camara controll is really clunky. The only peice of bullshit in this review is ofcourse the part about the limbs, I mean come on he's a highly skilled uber ninja with weapons that can slice a hair in 2.
Pirates are best? Pfft. Vikings are better than pirates OR ninjas. (And while Zombies are cool HungryFreak... Vikings still win.) Oh, and Vikings are better than Robots too.
Also, Vikings are the OG Pirates.
Side note: If you even so much as THINK about the horrid movie Pathfinder... I will hunt you down and (insert your choice of painful torture here).
I'm going to have to agree with this, the final analogy was a little over the top with not a lot of funny.
well, you have been hitting on lucas for like the past what, 3, 4 videos? first gay jokes, then lucas, whats next?
awesome review.
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Action Puzzle Platform Physics Jump-n-run Throwing Aiming
You are trapped in the temple of the God of the underworld, but you have got the relic of teleportation. Can you discover the ancient secrets of the temple, solve all puzzles and find a way to escape? Use WASD or Arrow keys to move. Aim the ball with your mouse and click to throw it, click again to teleport where the ball is.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
About Me
Hello, I'm Lady Ava.
I welcome you into my kinky and seductive world.
Let me take you on a journey where your wildest BDSM dreams and desires could come alive. It doesn't matter if you are a novice or a long-time seasonal player, I bet I can show you something to take your breath away and leave you to crave for more until next time. Oh yes, I'm confident there will be a next time. I'm addictive.
I'm the true goddess of tease, seduction and discipline – nothing pleases me more than to see the excitement in your eyes while I play with you. Making you feel desperate and helpless crawling on your knees.
I am a tantalising force of natural beauty – 5.9′ tall blonde, busty – voluptuous (36DD-28-38) beautifully sculpted feminine body – with a charming, sadistic, elegant style and a kinky-mind.
I will wow you from the moment you open the door until we say goodbye.
I am a once in a lifetime experience with over 5+ years of international femdom experience. I'm very sensual and extremely open-minded Mistress who loves a good 'scene'. I own a great selection of toys and outfits (I don't mind if you borrow some of my lingerie.)
My style of Domination ranges from playful and sensual to very strict and demanding, depending on my mood.
My feminine grace and power thrive when I'm being worshipped, adored and spoiled so treat me well and you will be rewarded…
BDSM has been part of my life since 2012. It was love for the first sight. I'm passionate about stretching the mind ( and body) pushing limits, expanding your submission where 'no's' could turn into 'yes, let's f* do it' – breaking mental and physical burials. I will always be the safe place to realize your darkest desires and a momentary escape from the pressures of society, so that you may be your whole self.
My Specialties: Sissy slut training, pegging, fisting, corporate punishment and humiliation.
I have a wild range of BDSM interest ( see below)
If you have specific fetishes which are not on this list, feel free to let me know and I'll see if it intrigues me.
Sessions can include:
- Anal training
- Ball Busting
- Bastinado (Caning/beating of the feet)
- Body Worship (legs and feet only)
- Bondage
- Boots (Thigh high/ knee high/ ankle/ peep toe)
- Blindfolds
- Clothed Female Naked Male (CFNM)
- Corporal Punishment (With or without marks)
- Cross Dressing
- Domestic Servitude
- Errands (running)
- Face Sitting (Clothed)
- Fetishes ( nylon, latex, leather)
- Financial Domination
- Flogging
- Foot Gagging
- Foot Massage
- Foot Worship
- Gags
- Gloves
- Humiliation
- Ignored (being)
- JOI (jerk off instruction)
- Kicking
- Latex
- Leather
- Lingerie / nylon fetish
- Pantyhose
- Panty Play
- Pegging
- Poppers
- Roleplay
- Shaving
- Shoe Worship
- Skype sessions
- Slapping
- Soaping (mouth)
- Spanking / Over The Knee (OTK)
- Spitting
- Splosh
- Small penis Humiliation (SPH)
- Tease and Denial
- Tickling
- Tie and Tease
- Trampling
- Verbal abuse
- Water Sports
- Waxing / Wax play
The following are off-limits:
- Heavy medical play
- Scat / Ruby showers
- Switching/subbing/escorting
- Any activity that is directly sexual, illegal, unsafe or non-consensual
- You must be punctual for confirmation calls and appointments.
- You must be polite.
- You must never press for sexual favours.
- You must be clean, sober and drug-free.
- Safety and cleanliness are a #1 priority.
- You must do everything I tell you to do.
My goal is to help you discover different points of sensation and varying levels of (intense) pleasure through sensation play and breathwork. My session mixes some massage elements with kink – restraints, the use of implements, and some feminine dominance – teasing you to a heightened state of euphoria.
Tease ♥ – Tie and tease, tease and denial, O-control, edging, JOI, verbal tease and humiliation, teasing with my feet
Favourite fetish game:
TIE & TEASE- I will tie you down to a bed or Andrew's cross and take full control over you. I will slap, spit, play and control your breath until I find you will please me.
FOOT FETISH- I will make you clean, lick, suck, rub my high-heel boots, nylon legs and maybe even my bare nicely pedicured feet.
My BDSM and kink interests are wide-ranging. My favourite types of sessions include domination and submission, humiliation, feminization, obedience training and servitude. Some specific activities I enjoy role-play, impact play and, rope bondage.
Impact Play – Spanking, flogging, whipping, caning
Bondage – Rope cuffs and chains, mummification
Role Play – Mommy's little boy, headmistress/student, boss and employee.
Favourite fetish games:
NIPPLE & CBT TORTURE – I like to twist, pull and dig my nails into your soft skin until you beg me to stop….tie your balls up and spank them because you aren't a good and obedient boy.
ROLE-PLAYS – I like to dress up for the secretary, headmistress or step-mother.
Let's face it…you're a filthy little slut.
I know it, you crave it, so let's not BS and hide anymore!
I'm here to liberate your inner slut and make you cum like never before.
Slut training includes but is not limited to the following:
- strapon
- pegging
- dildos / vibrators
- various anal insertions
- fisting
- humiliation
- feminization
I would love to dress you up. Make you all pretty. Start toying with your mind. Give you girly tasks. Stretch your body to take more and more because I know what a good slut needs, craves and deserve. Are you ready to become my cumslut?


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It is proposed to take No. 16, Road Traffic (No. 2) Bill 2011 [Seanad] — Order for Report, Report and Final Stages; No. 3, Public Service Pensions (Single Scheme) and Remuneration Bill 2011 — Order for Second Stage and Second Stage; and No. 4, Energy (Miscellaneous Provisions) Bill 2011 — Order for Second Stage and Second Stage. Private Members' business shall be No. 21, Debt Settlement and Mortgage Resolution Office Bill 2011 — Second Stage (resumed), to conclude at 9 p.m. today if not previously concluded.
Order of Business
There are no matters to be put to the Dáil. Has Deputy Martin a matter which is in order on the Order of Business?
I do. With regard to the announcement the Taoiseach made yesterday on the Order of Business, as with most things announced by the Government, his claim of radically opening up the budget process falls apart under even the most basic examination. The Taoiseach said the budget and the White Paper will be published exactly as before, and the departmental spending Estimates will be published almost exactly as they were last year, including the provision of four-year plans.
One major question arises from the business of the Dáil, namely, how the overall taxation and spending limits will be set. The Taoiseach said yesterday these will be agreed on Tuesday but withheld until after the Dublin West and presidential votes. The Taoiseach spent last month denying that anything would be withheld. Will he explain why this is happening? Can he also explain the absurdity of the fact——
We do not explain on the Order of Business; we ask questions.
I am asking why we are expected to debate and vote on exact spending limits in a few weeks time but we will not be allowed to see the result of the spending review until 1 December.
The Deputy did not hear me.
It is plainly ridiculous. If the comprehensive spending review has any substance——
Sorry, Deputy. Did you hear me?
——we are entitled to see it before we vote on how much spending there should be.
I ask the Deputy to respect the Chair. He knows the Order of Business. It is not a matter for speech making.
The Taoiseach spoke at great length on this yesterday on the Order of Business.
He was replying to a question. I cannot control the length of his replies.
You can. You are in the Chair.
I thought Deputy Martin would welcome this series of opportunities for everyone here, including the Opposition Members, to have their say. I cannot recall saying we were going to publish this on Tuesday. The original intention was that the first announcement would be published at the end of October. As the Deputy is aware, we have to wait for the figures to come in.
It was to be Tuesday.
We have to wait for the votes to be counted.
We have to wait for Dublin West.
I did say it could overrun into the first few days of November for that reason. The Estimates will be published on 1 November and they will go straight to committee before the budget so people can have their chance to debate this.
What about a copy of the spending review?
It never happened in the Deputy's 14 years in government — not beforehand. He will have more information than he will be able to deal with.
We will not.
We had this for years — big budget day and no information. It is all about availability now.
Ba mhaith liom ceist a chur faoi reachtaíocht atá geallta ag an Rialtas. I want to raise a question on promised legislation. Ar dtús, caithfidh mé a rá go bhfuil mé an-sásta a chloistáil, a Cheann Comhairle, go mbeidh tú ag cur béasa ar Theachtaí. The Government has committed to introduce legislation to address all aspects of domestic violence and threatened violence to provide protection for the victims, yet this has now been replaced with a review. When will this legislation be introduced? Does one imply from the fact it has now been reduced to a review that the 38% increase in the number of women and children unable to access refuges last year is not an urgent matter?
I appreciate the importance of the issue Deputy Adams raises. The Minister for Justice and Equality wrote to Deputy McDonald of Deputy Adams' party on 4 October. She had raised on 28 September on the Order of Business a question concerning the Government's intentions on domestic violence legislation. The Minister pointed out in the letter that the commitment in the programme for Government is to introduce consolidated and reformed domestic violence legislation to address all aspects of that, including domestic violence, threatened violence and intimidation, in a way that provides protection to victims.
The Minister made the point that in the meantime the Civil Law (Miscellaneous Provisions) Act 2011 has widened the protections that are provided for in the Domestic Violence Act 1996 as follows. First, there is no longer a minimum required period of cohabitation before one of a cohabiting couple may apply for a safety order, whereas previously the applicant was required to have resided with the respondent for at least six of the previous 12 months. Second, same-sex couples now have the same access to the protections of the Domestic Violence Act as opposite-sex couples. The relevant provision previously referred only to couples living together as husband and wife. Third, the scope of section 2, which specifies who may apply for a safety order, has been broadened to enable a person to obtain a safety order against a person with whom they have a child in common. These are the three issues referred to by the Minister for Justice and Equality in the letter to Deputy McDonald on 4 October in respect of the legislation on domestic violence.
My question was when the promised legislation will be brought forward. The Minister, Deputy Shatter, also said he had to re-examine the legislation because of the EU-IMF priority. Is the Government giving greater priority to the EU-IMF diktat than to the plight of, in the main, women and children?
We answered questions yesterday in the House about the pressure on the Parliamentary Counsel and the drafting situation. Some 30 Bills are listed for production in this session, some very complex and lengthy, including the legal services Bill of more than 300 pages. That legislation will not be produced in this session but that does not mean the Minister for Justice and Equality and the Government are not focusing on the importance of the issue the Deputy raises.
I welcome any informed debate on the budgetary process but not the manipulation of that to hide from the people before the Dublin West by-election and the presidential election the real truth of the savage cuts the Taoiseach is promising. He promised, and the Minister for Finance promised earlier, that this would be published in October. I ask the Taoiseach to publish now and to bring forward the date from that which he indicated yesterday.
By the way, it would perhaps do us all a favour in getting the media to pass on the real concerns and issues facing our people and away from this tiresome parade of personalities and vision makers that passes for a presidential campaign, which fills newspapers endlessly.
We will if the Deputy will shorten his speech.
In regard to specific promised legislation, what is the publication date of the local government (charges) Bill to impose an annual household charge?
On the latter question, that will be in this session. On the first point, there is no manipulation of the budget going on here. The condition signed on for with the memorandum of understanding is for a debt reduction to 8.6%. The details of how this will actually be achieved have not been worked out yet and cannot be worked out until the figures in respect of the self-employed, corporates and growth projections are clear.
Yesterday, the Minister for Health confirmed to a number of us that he is to privatise the management of a number of hospitals in the west and mid-west. Obviously, this raises some very serious issues. Is it the beginning of a path towards the privatisation of the health services generally? When will the appropriate legislation be brought before the House to confirm the process which is under way to privatise the management of these hospitals?
Is there promised legislation?
No legislation is promised.
Thank you.
On the same issue, I must have missed the passage of the privatisation of public hospitals——
No, you did not miss anything that relates to the Order of Business.
——because I have not seen it before the House. The Taoiseach will recall that in the previous Dáil there was very strong opposition from all parties to the privatisation——
Sorry, Deputy——
——and co-location proposals of the former Minister and Government, yet——
Will the Deputy please respect the Chair and resume his seat? This is totally out of order as there is no promised legislation.
It is absolutely out of order. We are privatising public hospitals' management——
No legislation is necessary.
——and there is no explanation, let alone justification for what is happening.
The Deputy has had his say. I call Deputy Durkan.
I raised an issue on which I seek a response from the Taoiseach.
I might have one word in response to the Deputy's question. No legislation is required as temporary contracts are issued that are approved by the Minister for Public Expenditure and Reform. For many years, the position has been that there have been trolleys in hospitals. However, in Tallaght Hospital, for instance, the other day there were no trolleys in evidence for the first time in many years. Moreover, the cost base actually is moving down.
They were sent elsewhere.
The Minister has——
It was proper management.
——taken short-term contracts.
Is this a Labour Party initiative?
There has been proper management to look at the cost structure of hospitals and it already is paying dividends.
The privatisation of hospitals.
Clearly, the Taoiseach is confirming that privatisation works.
Has the Deputy no regard for patients?
Is it the case that next week——
I call Deputy Durkan.
——nurses will be provided through agencies——
The Deputy should resume his seat.
——and that all nursing care will be privatised?
Does Deputy Dooley hear me?
Moreover, the word "temporary" is absolute nonsense.
Can the Taoiseach confirm this?
Once it is in, the Government will hold with it.
I call Deputy Durkan.
What of the problem in the Mid-Western Regional Hospital in Limerick?
Deputy Dooley does not want any change. He does not want reform.
I ask the Minister to desist. I call Deputy Durkan.
Does the Minister confirm there is agreement with the Labour Party that the delivery of health care is to be privatised?
Rubbish. Moreover, the Deputy knows it is rubbish.
Privatisation by the Labour Party.
Deputy Durkan should proceed. Deputy Dooley should resume his seat.
In that case, the Minister should explain what is happening. The Government is doing it through the back door.
There is no——
Deputy Dooley, I will not call you again.
This is privatisation by stealth.
A Cheann Comhairle, this is outside the scope of the Croke Park agreement.
The Deputy is not interested in——
On promised legislation——
This is an attack on the Croke Park agreement.
——change or reform.
What of University Hospital Galway? On how many other hospital sites will this happen?
I ask the Minister not to answer the aggro. I call Deputy Durkan.
The Minister should explain that to his backbenchers.
What a shame on the Labour Party to be absolutely complicit in this.
That is new Labour. The Labour Party is gone.
Deputy, please.
On promised legislation, what is the current status of the proposed national vetting bureau legislation? What progress is expected and can Members expect its implementation within a reasonable timescale?
Thank you. That is grand.
Another accurate question from Deputy Durkan.
A good deflection from Deputy Durkan.
I can tell him it is being worked on as a matter of priority and will be introduced this session.
The Deputy has been active since the change of Government.
Does the Deputy never attend his parliamentary party meetings?
As the Taoiseach is aware, when it comes to helping vulnerable people to interact with our judicial system, we still operate under draconian legislation dating from 1798, namely, the Lunacy Act, with its insulting terminology. The programme for Government and the legislative programme contain a commitment to the publication of capacity legislation. Can the Taoiseach confirm to the House when he expects the publication of that Bill?
Is legislation promised?
I believe Deputy Harris is referring to the proposed mental capacity Bill, which will be published early next year.
As the Taoiseach is aware, the national review panel for investigation into serious incidents and child deaths produced its report yesterday. It highlighted some very serious inadequacies in our social care system. I believe the report merits the allocation of time in the Dáil to discuss it.
Yes. That is grand.
I ask the Taoiseach to set aside time in the Dáil in the near future to debate this serious matter. In addition, yesterday——
Thank you, Deputy. The first thing he should do is ask his Whip to raise the matter.
The Government orders time.
The Taoiseach is not here to——
I also have an addendum in respect of the Order of Business yesterday, when the Taoiseach indicated that the national review panel was set up in response to the publication at a press conference held last year by the Minister for Justice and Equality, Deputy Shatter, of the details of a named person and regarding the investigation into how that person's death came about. The Taoiseach should correct the record of the House because the review panel publication yesterday makes clear the six cases involved were dealt with anonymously and in an appropriate manner.
Sorry Deputy, this is not on the Order of Business.
No, but I seek a correction of the debate on the Order of Business yesterday.
The Taoiseach indicated the review panel was set up in response to the reckless action of the Minister, Deputy Shatter——
Thank you, Deputy. Please resume your seat.
——which must be corrected because what was set up was a thorough establishment of——
Sorry Deputy, not on the Order of Business.
I refer to a thorough establishment of the position by the HSE and the Taoiseach needs to correct the record of the Dáil on that matter.
The Deputy might try to table a parliamentary question.
The Deputy seeks a correction of the Dáil record.
I agree with the ruling of the Ceann Comhairle in this regard and if the Deputy raises this issue with his Whips, who are responsible, I see no reason Members cannot have a debate on this matter at an appropriate time. Before Deputy McConalogue entered this House, Deputy Shatter persistently pursued the issue of the death of children in care. While the criteria set out are very broad, it was following the unfortunate and tragic death of Tracey Fay, which Deputy Shatter raised in this Chamber numerous times, that this review came about.
I refer to forthcoming legislation, namely, the temporary partial credit guarantee Bill. The Taoiseach is aware that small and medium enterprises continue to struggle to access credit and this is an ongoing problem. On a day like today when job losses are making headlines, it is important to maintain one's focus and I seek an update from the Taoiseach in this regard.
It was to have been brought in last September.
I assure Deputy Daly that this is a matter of priority for Minister for Jobs, Enterprise and Innovation. I expect that legislation to be published in this session.
Does Fine Gael not hold parliamentary party meetings any more? As it got the room, it may as well make use of it.
It is a matter of a tender process for the structure of a partial loan guarantee scheme that is so important for the Government.
Fine Gael is making no use of the parliamentary party room. Would the Chief Whip not provide this information to the lads at parliamentary party meetings?
The Deputy should speak up. I cannot hear him.
I will talk to the Chief Whip afterwards when it will be easier to get to him.
Sorry, we do not have chats across the floor here. Thanks a million. Speak through the Chair please.
Hear, hear.
I call Deputy O'Dea.
We discuss what to do for the country after Fianna Fáil's time in office.
God help us.
I wish to raise two legislative items. First, the Government has stated the personal insolvency Bill is central to solving the problems of distressed mortgage payers. When exactly will it be published, as their situation is worsening on a daily basis? Second, the Minister for Jobs, Enterprise and Innovation yesterday announced a major overhaul of competition and consumer law. When will Members have sight of the Bill to provide for this change, namely the consumer and competition Bill, in order that the Minister will have an opportunity to announce this again?
I expect the personal insolvency Bill to come before the Government next week. The consumer regulation Bill to which the Minister referred yesterday is due early next year.
Did the Taoiseach mention a date for the publication of the local government (charges) Bill and when will it be taken in the House?
I did not mention a date but it will be published and taken this session.
There is no date.
After the election.


text:
on May 11, 2018
On May 8th, the Center for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) released its first Rural Health Strategy which is meant to expand care to Americans who live in rural parts of the United States. CMS estimates 60 million Americans live in rural areas and are more likely to experience disproportionately high poverty rates, having more chronic conditions, being uninsured or underinsured, as well as experiencing a fragmented healthcare delivery system. This brand new strategy takes a hard look at rural providers and communities, where resources and health developments have been inconsistent in comparison to other regions across the country.
The agency-wide Rural Health Strategy focuses on five objectives to achieve the agency's vision for rural health:
• Apply a rural lens to CMS programs and policies
• Improve access to care through provider engagement and support
• Advance telehealth and telemedicine
• Empower patients in rural communities to make decisions about their healthcare
• Leverage partnerships to achieve the goals of the CMS Rural Health Strategy
The program will be collaborative in nature since the Rural Health Council will partner with CMS to support the unique and evolving rural health market as well as begin to address the opioid epidemic among other problems that run beyond the issues mentioned in this strategy.
Read more
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text:
Thinking Yogi
The intersection of two loves: yoga and writing.
Battling my inner perfectionist, or The house is too messy for you to come over
Theoretically it was a great idea to invite friends over for a last-minute barbecue so the kids could play outside while the adults chatted. It was a near-perfect impromptu summer plan. But then I looked down and saw that the floor of our apartment was carpeted in papers and crayons and stray Legos, and I noticed the smears of toothpaste on the bathroom mirror. We couldn't let our friends see this mess, and I couldn't possibly get the place to an acceptable level of cleanliness by the time they'd get here. As I chucked a stray pair of socks and slumped onto the couch, I briefly considered calling to cancel rather than letting our friends see such embarrassing domestic chaos.
Meet my inner perfectionist. She doesn't come out often, thanks to years of reflection and conscious habit-changing (not to mention having two children and a business to run). But she's still hoarding 23 article drafts because they're not quite ready to put out into the world yet, and she's always daydreaming about that time when her future self will magically have more time. Then she'll perfectly do all the things that have been in need of doing – reorganize that overflowing file cabinet, transcribe all the notes of cute things the kids said from the tiny slips of paper on her desk, and complete and submit every last one of those article ideas.
It's all one big stalling technique, I know. Just another way to put off finishing anything for fear that it won't meet my own high expectations. Whether at work, on creative projects, or at home, the perfectionist/procrastinator in me can always throw up an objection to calling a writing project 'done' and she fears allowing friends to witness just how 'undone' our home environment is. 'What does it say about me?' she wonders. 'What if the world thinks this is the best I can do?'
But the truth is, while it's not necessarily the best I can do, it's the best I can do right now, under these circumstances. It's the best I can do without avoiding doing it altogether.
In my yoga classes, I encourage students to practice being content with where they are that day. I smile and remind students that sometimes the balance just isn't there in tree pose (especially when I'm the one doing most of the wobbling), and encourage them to believe that doing the best wobbly tree pose you can do today is better than not doing it at all. I laugh when, even after 15 years of teaching, I mess up my right and left while cueing students into triangle. Yoga's unofficial motto is not 'Practice makes perfect,' but rather 'Practice, and then practice again tomorrow.'
I feel freed by the knowledge that there is no need to pursue perfection when it comes to the physical, and I long ago stopped caring how my poses look or how my practice measures up to my neighbor's. In fact, I love witnessing the changes and fluctuations of the physical on the mat. So why is it so hard to translate that attitude off the mat?
Off the mat the stakes are higher. Moving beyond the physical and into how I run my business or my home, the way I am with my children, or who I am as a creative being feels way more personal than how steady my tree pose is or whether I mess up as a teacher (again). These imperfections, unlike the limits or weaknesses of a body posing on a yoga mat, reveal a core part of my being, one that perhaps I wish could be more polished than is possible. To invite the world to see your imperfection at home, at work, or with family is to be fully revealed for who you are. Sometimes it just seems easier to pretend or to put things off until another day.
Back at home, I realize I have three choices:
1. Decide our house is just too messy for our friends to come over.
2. Tell them to come an hour later and spend that time frantically throwing all our junk in the closet instead of being with them.
3. Invite our friends into our home as is and let them see our state of less-than-perfection.
The rational part of me fully recognizes that our friends don't want to come over to socialize with our house, they want to see us, to be with us. So I take a few minutes to tidy the most essential offenders, invite our friends to join us (and a few dust bunnies) for an evening together, and know that because they are good friends they'll look at us rather than our unmade bed. After the hugs and shoving a few blankets off the couch I invite them to sit down, making a conscious effort to avoid explaining away our messiness. Instead we let ourselves be seen, just as we are, in our full imperfection. It's a start, and the start of a great evening together.


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ilanoor said:
OK, here is what you(@eirghan) need to update, please! just went to nameless hero and got that title, Scar Soother, went to 248 656, nothing. So i went by your clue, went almost exactly SE to plateau type area and got the challenge for ancient spirits, used the show/hide and saw i needed 10(flying mobs in that area, plateau on SE side of Lost). Then i saw i had to turn it in to Nameles hero, then i got the title Wind Waker. Then i went back to 248 656 n got the pop up quest to turn in at lost Elder! So maybe they changed the title sequence a bit? I'll post any other changes I see in this chain after i finish, TY for your attention!
Also about Cenminator, i just tried before maintenance using the lucky coin thingy, got a bit of exp but no title, and i used the coords eirghan posted. so i went back to old title guide and found slightly different coordinates, 638 872 may be the spot where u get the title challenge pop up, i'll check sometime tomorrow(today). Most of the old guide worked for me, as far as the Horizon titles went, Misfortune, Tai Chi Shore, Snake Isle, etc. Just thought i'd mention that, i was thinking maybe the lucky coin summon glitched the title pop up but probably just a matter of walking around a bit more. I'll edit once i find out for sure.euphiess said:
sealed snake isnland can't be done with spawning ceminator with lucky coins. i just did it and got nothing
cant dig/ nothing to dig the seal @ 258 787 (hero of the plains)
*** correction *** i had to pick up quest @ 258 787 before it lets you dig below
8. Seal: Snake Islandvii goes at the end, After doing eco draconis, move to the seal (677 888, 33)
(i) Fly off to (678 889, 32) to pick up Seal: Snake Island. The quest will auto-complete at around the same location (677 887, 32) with a popup. [Trapeze]
(ii) Fly to Angler Village (638 831). Buy one piece of 'Thousand-Year Lees' from the foreign monk. A quest will popup. Talk to the foreign monk and give him the lees to complete the quest. [The Generous](+3 phy-att)
(iii) Fly North to the Shattered Jade Shore (635 874). Wait for the Popup. Kill 25 'Mechrabs' & 25 'Giant Chislers'. [Armored Pincers](+20 accuracy)
(iv) Go to (626 885) to pick up the next quest. Kill 'Chin, Mausoleum Watchman' and 50 'FelboneShanks'. [Six League Under](+12 evasion)
(v) Go to (637 865) to kill the Cenminator. World Boss is spawned by trading Assistant Wang Tsai 10 lucky coins for a wraith order. Right click the order to obtain quest. [Man of No Romance](+5 mag-att)
(vi) Go at (668 891, 21), just in the air. Take the quest. Go to (648 890, 10). [Ego Draconis]
(vii) Go to (677 888, 33). Break the seal of Snake Island. [Wind and Waves]
8.a Seal of Snake Island, Side Quests
(iii b) Go to (677 888, 35). Kill 'Protection: Heaven'. [Skyscraper](+20 accuracy)
(iv b) Go back to (677 888, 35). Kill 'Protection: Earth'. [Earthquaker](+12 evasion)
(v b) Go back to (677 888, 35). Kill 'Protection: Human'. [Manslayer](+20 accuracy)
technoplume3 wrote: »8. Seal: Snake Island
vii goes at the end, After doing eco draconis, move to the seal (677 888, 33)
Challenge appear, and you need to kill all 3 protection.
Then the Break the seal quest appear, dig the seal and get all the remaining title.
I got them in this order in blue text.
Eco Draconis
god's Favor
wind and waves
novice seal breaker
God's favor and manslayer are combined titles.
eirghan said:
10. Seal: Originia River
(i) Stand on top of the bridge of Originia River, between Swiftwind and Etherblade (358 652) to pick up Seal: Originia River. Kill 20 'Mutant Whirler Turtle'. [Turtle-broken Palm](Accuracy +10)
@eirghan The proper coordinates for picking up seal and challenge are 416 765, the coordinates above are for picking up Seal(Tome) of Silk Ridge, just figured you might want to edit that. Got the other coordinates from the old Title quest guide thread, which is still on the first page of quest guide section of the forum.
(ii) Fly to (420 769, 24) to pick up quest. Find 'Chief's Grave' at (416 765). Pick up the quest and talk to the grave to complete the quest. [Dark Sun]
(iii) Go to (438 762) to pick up the next quest. Talk to the 'Tan Box'. [Dream-seeking Boy]
(iv) Head toward the watch tower next to Tradewind Village (434 744) to pick up the next quest. Hang around the top of the tower to complete the quest. [Overlook on a High Place]
And this part I noticed if I was on the ground to pick up challenge and THEN rose up in my flyer I got the title. I tried flying to the coords, then stood on there a minute and nothing was happening, got the challenge but didn't complete til i did like i just mentioned. Just a little FYI for anyone that might have had same problem getting that part done. xD
(v) Head towards the bank of Originia River (441 736). Talk to 'Apothecary Chien Yue' (426 740) to complete the quest. [Messenger]
(vi) Pick up the next quest from (426 740). Kill 10 'Native Vipion'. [Hell Wraith](Phys Atk +3)
(vii) Head back to Apothecary Chien Yue' (426 740) again to get quest, then head back towards the bank of Originia River (439 735). Disperse the Antidote into the water. [Philosopher of Purity]
(viii) Head towards Bengal Ridge, on the other side of the river (491 752) to pick up the quest. Kill the 'Flaming Dark Beast'. [Bane of Flaming Dark Beast]
(ix) Break the seal of Originia River (452 749). [Star of Originia River](Phys Def +3)
eirghan said:
8. Tome of Phoenix River
(i) Go to (449 654) to get Tome:Phoenix River
(iii) Talk to Aged Deity (418 645) [Sojourner to the West]
(iii) Go to 469 676 (25) to get challenge, Talk to Hans wife (463 676, 24) [ Oddity Collector]
(iv) Go to (431 678, 21) to get challenge,go to (415 691, 22) - inside the cottage [Finders Keepers] (+8 accuracy)
(v) Go to (450 673, 22) to get challenge Kill Quillhog Magus, drop-rate Rate:50% [Winged Tiger] (+6 evasion)
(vi) Go to (448 660, 21) to get challenge, Dig the chest at (460 653) next to the rock.[Turtle King]
(vii) Go to (478 671, 23) to get challenge, Kill Yansheng, Hirudini Barbarian at (474 679) [The Grand Devil Lord](+3 Phys Def)
(viii)Go to (450 646, 22). Talk to Sentry Lu Lang (418 666, 22) [Dream Chaser]
(ix)Go to (428 660, 22) to get challenge (inside the cottage)
(x)Go to (476 623, 22) big dragon appears [Dragon Summoner]
(xi)Go to (435 656, 21) to get challenge Dig the Seal of the Phoenix River (483 630) floating above the water. [Star of Phoenix River] (+3 Mag DEF)
9. Tome of Archosaur
(i) Pick Tome: Archosaur at the ship at (585 654). Ask the residents of Archosaur City about the hidden seal: Lochmur Kanto (595 654), Teleport Master Ning (550 670), Old storyteller Goh (576 653), Duke Blacke (walks around Archosaur), Elder of Archosaur (571 648), ending at General Summer (521 630). [Truthseeker] (+6 accuracy)
(ii) Go to (530 622) to pick up the quest. Teleport from the teleporter to Lightsail Cave in the Celestial Vale. Kill 5 'Giant Stone Golems', 5 'Dark Knights' and Slay the Snowgrind Fox at the end of the cave. [Foxfeller]
(iii) Go to (532 622) to pick up the quest. Talk to Guard Seven at (511 654) Kill 'Lyncean Hunters' until you find the Lost Package. Deliver the package to Lola the Explorer at (521 661). Deliver Lola's notes back to Guard Seven (511 654) [Recovery Squad] (+6 evasion)
(iv) Go to (519 688) and find the Master Psychic. Ask for details about the seal. [Friend of the Sages]
(v) Go to (537 672, 30) to pick up the next quest. Next, talk to the Sage of Power (538 673), Sage Lu (568 673), Sage of Light (568 634), Chiah the Dancer (538 643) about the seal of Archosaur. [Archosaur Sage]
(vi) Go to (564 673) to pick up the next quest (near Archosaur Student). Find the evildoers lying in ambush around Archosaur and destroy them. They are found at: (562 693), (543 662), (510 631), (543 613), (564 613). These mobs can only be attacked by the person that spawns them. [Gate Guardian](+3 phy-att)
(vii) Go to Archosaur platform (553 653, 25 or 30) to pick up the quest to dig the seal. Unseal the stone under the platform at (553 653, 20) in Archosaur. [Seal Breaker](+3 mag-att)
10. Tome of Lost City
i. Go to Lost City, challenge popup and you can just auto path to Niang Hu (244 640) [The Whisperer]
ii. Go to (239 694) to receive quest. Dig "The Rift" to spawn mob. Kill "Toxic Torrent". Turn in quest to the Pillar of the Scarred (238 695). The pillar appears every hour, on the hour for approximately 15-30 minutes. [Grand Commandant] (+3 mag-def)
iii. Fly to (262 677) or (261 629) to receive the next quest. Hand in to the "Nameless Hero" at (262 677). [Wind Waker] (+6 accuracy)
iv. Fly to (248 656) for next title. (Note: If quest does not pop at these coordinates fly southeast to plateau on opposite side of Lost City.) Hand in quest to Elder of Lost City at (246 647). [Sily]
v. Next quest appears at hand in to Lost City Elder at (246 647). Dig "Heavy dusty Iron Box" at (260 653) to receive a "Torn Letter". Deliver the letter to Niang Hu at (244 640). [The lament of a hundred decades]
vi. Next quest appears at hand in to Niang Hu at (244 640). Go to (260 673) to obtain 10 "Lingering Soul of Foxwing" by killing Foxwing mobs. Once complete hand in to Niang Hu at (244 640) [Black Cat]
vii. Receive the next quest from Niang Hu. Dig the seal on top of the Northern gate of Lost City (257 677). Hand in to Lost City Elder (246 647). [Star of Lost City] (+3 phy-att)
Start location?kurisukotze said:
I found a Dragon End Tome at Drgaon End more titles /o/


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One of my undergraduate professors, Jose Sorzano, was a Cuban refugee who was a teenager when Castro came to power. What convinced him he had to leave was when he was calling a friend and in between each ring of the phone a recorded message repeated "Cuba si, Yanqui no!" That level of totalitarian control, where even the space between rings of the telephone had to be filled with propaganda, was just too much.
Our own progressives seem to be picking up where Castro left off. A piece last week in the Washington Free Beacon on USDA plans to "nudge" Americans to buy healthier food at the grocery store included a look at talking shopping carts, which wouldn't let you alone with your thoughts as you roll down the aisles:
The "MyCart grocery cart" would provide dividers for shoppers to make sure they are selecting enough items in each "MyPlate" category, the USDA's food icon.
"MyCart is a nonfinancial approach that would use behavioral economics to encourage healthier purchases by any consumer, including SNAP participants," the report said.
The cart would be color-coded, physically divided, and have a system installed so that when the shopping cart reaches its healthy "threshold" it would congratulate the customer.
"The algorithm would group the purchases to classify them using the MyPlate designations and to provide consumers with a message of support or encouragement (e.g., "You achieved a MyCart healthy shopping basket!")," the report said.
Or, to follow the Castro model, Lentils si, hot dogs no!


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...there's nothing to see here.
Some days, you just don't have much to say. Today is one of those days. It probably would have been better to post nothing, than to post something that says nothing. If you're unhappy that you've come all the way over here for this, my apologies. I'll do better on Friday. I hope.
This weekend saw me make some progress on my WiP. I'm somewhere around 2/3 through with the revisions. There have been a few substantial rewrites, and I think it's making it better. I hope that I'll be done soon, and then I can decide whether I need to run through it again or can start letting other people read it. I'm anxious to turn it over to others for feedback, but anxious about the results, as I've already stated in other posts.
One thing I'm finding interesting in this revision process, besides the nature of some of the changes, is the way the word count goes up and down. I started out at 317 pages and approximately 95,000 words. Right now it's 306 pages, 88,000 words, after approaching 90K sometime yesterday. It's funny to see this happen because I'm more aware of what I'm adding than what I'm taking away, though I recall gleefully making whole pages disappear.
That's about all I've got for now. Enjoy your day, enjoy your week, see you on Friday.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
Genius at Work
"I feel that a straightforward statement of my original intent robs the listener of personal associations and replaces them with my own." – Robert Hunter
My daughter's class recently completed a unit centered on Thornton Wilder's Our Town. As part of the unit each student interviewed a member of the community they admired, developed two pieces of artwork (which included films, paintings, sculptures, and photographs), a creative writing piece, and, finally, an interpretation/explanation of the artwork. A local gallery exhibited the work and they even staged an opening night event with music and food. It was a great night, and the students really seemed to enjoy themselves.
I had already seen my daughter's artwork when she completed it, and I immediately picked up on a lot of the symbolism in it. At the exhibit I read her explanation and learned a lot more: why she chose the medium (colored pencils, which she hates); why the pencil lines are rougher in one of the pictures than the other; why she chose to leave faces unfinished in one part of her picture. When I told her I liked reading the explanation, she surprised me by telling me she thought explanations "cheapened" the work. Her preference is to leave it up to the viewer to interpret it themselves. Spoken like a true artist! (She did admit, however, that she liked reading her classmates' interpretations of their work; she just didn't like doing it for her own.)
My daughter's words echo the sentiment expressed by Robert Hunter at the top of this post. Hunter is a poet, musician, and was chief lyricist for the Grateful Dead. He provided the above quote in response to an extended analysis of his song lyrics (the full text can be found here). Hunter recognized that there are as many ways to interpret song lyrics as there are listeners, and that every interpretation is valid. This applies to any creative piece, really.
I am fascinated with the creative process. I like to hear artists, writers, and musicians talk about what was going on in their minds when they wrote a story or piece of music, the effect they were going for when they mixed the sound in the studio or added a swirl of color to the painting. I'm a sucker for shows like Classic Albums or Behind the Music on VH1, not so much for the dirt -- who was sleeping with whom, how many bottles of vodka were consumed during the recording of this album -- but because it sheds light on how they did it (although I'm sometimes disappointed when someone says something along the lines of "Yeah, I wrote that song in about ten minutes, it was nothing."). In the same vein I enjoy threads on Absolute Write where people talk about what inspired them to write a novel or story. It's a window into the minds of others, a way to bring people closer together, and it gets me thinking about my own creativity.
Does interpreting the piece cheapen it, as my daughter stated? Not for me. I find it provides more depth to the piece than I originally experience, and gives me something more to think about. And thinking is never a bad thing, is it?
Monday, June 20, 2011
Another Monday. A bleary Monday. The wife had to run an event in town this weekend. It involved coordinating vendors and setting up a street fair (actually, a parking lot fair, but 'street fair' sounds much better) on Saturday. We had ourselves a nice, fourteen hour day. On Sunday we were back, this time she ran a parade. Since I'm married to her, I'm also married to her job. Let's hear it for forced volunteerism! Woohoo!
There wasn't much time for writing, and my brain was very much fried – I left a few blog comments and posts on Absolute Write Saturday night that I may look at today and think "Huh? I don't remember that!" I also skipped my Writer's group Sunday. I hate to do that, but I was really tired, and didn't think I could muster the energy needed to fight for a parking space in town; come up with anything remotely good in the group; or offer meaningful criticism of anyone's work.
But I did manage to get a good two to three hours of writing done last night. Two thousand words possibly added to my novel, though it's debatable whether it will end up in the book or not. I've written this before and it didn't make it in the first official draft, yet it felt like it needed to be written again. We'll see sometime this week if it makes the cut or not.
So, I got tagged on Friday. Carrie, at So You're a Writer, tagged me in one of these little games bloggers play, sort of the blog equivalent of a chain letter, though without the promise of fabulous riches and good health for playing along, or the threat of disaster for not doing so. I appreciate being tagged, but I'm not really one for this stuff, to be honest. E-mails like this tend to die in my inbox. I'd much rather spend my time helping the former oil minister of Nigeria get his millions back. I once got one of those e-mails from Yassir Arafat's widow! Yassir left her penniless, it seems. Scratch that, it was the chauvinist pigs in charge of Hamas and the
PLO Palestinian Authority who refused to give it to her. It was quite the fortune. I hope she got what was rightfully hers.
Well, I suppose if I want to be part of the blogging world, I have to be a sport to some degree, so here goes:
Do you think you are hot?
I got a sunburn on the back of my legs this weekend, so I'm alternating between hot and cold.
Upload a pic or wallpaper you are using.
Okay, here's a favorite. Absolute Writers in the readership will recognize it. This is Morty, the Turkey Vulture; living proof that beauty is both skin deep and in the eye of the beholder.
When was the last time you ate chicken?
Thursday. Chicken cutlets. I loves me some chicken cutlets.
What were you thinking while doing this?
See the fifth paragraph.
What song/songs have you listened to recently?
I listened to the Grateful Dead live at the Capitol Theatre in Passaic, NJ, June 19, 1976, courtesy of the Live Music Archive. Three hours of vintage Dead is nice to groove to while writing.
Do you have any nicknames? What are they?
O. JeffO (or maybe it's Jeff-O or jeffo, I've never been clear on the spelling). There are others, but that will do for now.
Tag five blogger buddies.
OK, I only have five blogger buddies, so I'm not going to do that. So, anyone who reads this and wants to do this, go ahead. Have fun. I won't put any pressure on you.
I suppose that wasn't so bad. Have a happy and productive week, all.
Friday, June 17, 2011
The Shadow Man
A few days before I launched this blog, I woke up screaming from a nightmare for the first time in years.
In the dream I stood on a small ladder, my head stuck through a small hatchway as I inspected my attic. In typical dream fashion, it only looked a little like my real attic, and, in typical dream fashion, it's perfectly normal to accept unfamiliar places as your own. I don't remember why dream me was inspecting dream attic; given real life that week, I could have been looking for leaks.
So, there I stood, head, shoulders and one arm (that was all I could fit) through the hatch, sweeping a flashlight around, when I heard the thump-thump of running feet. I caught a glimpse of a pygmy-sized, shadowy figure running along the outer edge of the room. The Shadow Man.
The figure was charcoal gray, no features visible at all beyond shape. Stuck as I was on the ladder, my mobility was quite limited. I tried to turn to follow the shadow man, but I couldn't keep up with it and it disappeared behind some inner structure of the attic.
I didn't feel the sort of instant dread you get in a horror movie or novel at the sight of the Shadow Man, but I was a little freaked out nonetheless. Who was it? What was it? And why was it running around in my attic? I also had a strange fear that it would somehow squeeze past me and get out of the attic, and I did not want that. Given the size of the hatch, that wasn't likely, but dreams have a way of making the irrational rational.
I started calling for my wife, who was somewhere in the house. My voice worked, but it was sort of croaky, and I didn't think it would carry well. I called her, three, maybe four times, louder each time, trying to project my voice down through the hatchway while simultaneously looking for Shadow Man, whose footsteps now came from behind me.
And then it touched me on the neck, and I screamed. For real.
I woke up, found it was 2:15 in the morning, and I'd managed to wake up my wife. She was probably the one that touched me on the neck, in fact, because real me was calling her at the same time that dream me was. Fortunately, the dream did not disappear on contact with the waking world like cotton candy in a mouth. I was able to tell my wife about it, and felt the residual chill on my neck as I did so.
My oldest daughter said I should go to one of those dream analysts and find out what it means. I told her I could do that myself easily enough.
The attic likely represents my mind, my brain, and I'm poking around in it. The Shadow Man is some part of my subconscious, someone or something that's been running around up there. I want to check it out, but I'm afraid of turning that piece of myself loose, of letting it out, of letting others see it.
I don't think it's any coincidence that I had this dream when I did. First, I was preparing to launch this blog; preparing to reveal a part of myself to anyone who was willing to follow the link and read what I put up here. Despite this blog, despite the fact I'm willing to use my real name, and write books and stories for people to read (again, using my real name, which is not a super-common one), I am a very private person. I'm not going to be spilling the dirt on my friends and relations through this blog, or Facebook or Twitter or anything. The dream represents a certain fear of letting myself out for the world to see.
Second, the dream happened just before I started re-reading my novel. Re-reading is the first step to rewriting, after which should follow the part where I let the novel out for others to read. There's no question I'm nervous about that, and it wasn't just a fear that I would discover my novel was really bad. It's the fear of what others will think.
I don't mean that others will think it's bad. They might, but that's not what's really bothering me to the point of making Shadow Men in my dreams. No, the bigger worry is they'll read through it and start to wonder: Is this character Jeff? Does he really think like that? Is this character me? It sounds kind of like me. That bastard! They'll wonder where this stuff came from, and what it says about me. "Who," my wife will wonder, "is that female MC, and should I be worried?"
I know they will, too, because I do it myself. Or at least I used to until I started writing in earnest this year. I would say, "That Stephen King is one sick fuck." Or I'd listen to Pink Floyd and wonder, "What the hell is wrong with Roger Waters? He must have had one messed-up childhood!" It's hard not to do; it can be quite hard to separate the author from work.
I don't think that way as much anymore because I know better. Yes, there's a little (or maybe a lot) bit of the writer in every story, but I also know there are multiple jumping-off points. Maybe this story has elements from a real-life experience, but there's a point at which imagination takes over and turns it into something else entirely. Having cobbled bits of reality and fantasy together to make stories, I'm much more aware of the distinction, much more likely to cut writers slack.
But my family? They don't quite understand this, not yet. My wife read a section from near the end of my novel. She liked it, but found it 'disturbing.' She and my kids read one of my short stories. They all kind of looked at me funny afterwards. I tell them that it's made up, that I don't always know where it comes from; they nod and tell me they understand, but I know that they don't quite get it. "It's not me," I want to say, "it's the Shadow Man. He's the one digging this stuff out."
They'd better get used to him, because he's not going away.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
Grinding Away
I continued to make headway on my novel over the weekend. I'm approximately 80 pages into the revision work, and now we're in the sticky part. The first 70 pages or so went well. I was happy with the changes I've been making. More importantly, I'm largely happy with my original writing. Oh, there are some big gaffes here and there, but the story as a whole feels good: things are hanging together pretty well; I'm happy with the 'Voice' of the novel; and I feel like it's flowed pretty well. I've added sections and segments, and even a possible whole, new chapter, yet I've also managed to trim a couple thousand words. So far, so good.
Yesterday I came to a screeching halt.
I was brought short by a chapter that didn't seem to do anything.
This is A Very Bad Thing.
I spent a lot of time yesterday morning going over the chapter, trying to figure out how to make it Do Something. And I came up empty. There are things in it that I like, things I think are important in terms of the development of the main character and his love interest. That's why I wrote this chapter. Yet, my overwhelming sense of the chapter is that it didn't do anything, and I really couldn't seem to fix it.
I don't think this was a case of me being afraid to 'kill my darlings' as They say. I've been pretty good about chopping stuff. Whole paragraphs and sections have gone wherever it is that letters and words go when you hit that 'Delete' key. Paragraphs and whole sections I liked and admired disappeared into the vapors at the touch of a button. I'm not afraid to cut. No, the big concern is that I was so stymied in my efforts to fix the chapter. Even if I did axe the whole thing, I was coming up empty on my efforts to put something new in there that would actually do what I wanted.
I think maybe it was something in the air yesterday. At my Writer's Circle I spent an hour chasing something that I could not quite grab hold of. I squeaked out one paragraph (not related to my novel), that's it. I had an idea of the concept, but just couldn't manage to run it down and get it to paper. And I wasn't the only one in that state yesterday. No one in my group was overly happy with what they wrote yesterday. I guess it was just one of those days.
The funk continued for me this morning. I was still stuck; still not sure how to either salvage what was already written, or what to put in its place. And then I had a single idea, grabbed my notebook and jotted some words down while I made coffee, and the single words turned into sentences that flowed out into a paragraph or two. It was enough to prime the pump. I've now managed a complete rewrite of the offending chapter, and I think it works. As I write this the pages sit on the printer tray, waiting for me to pick through them with my pen. They're not quite ready to get dropped into the middle of my book just yet (and the darlings I've been holding out hope for are not in this new version at all; looks like they're goners) and it may take the rest of the day and part of tomorrow for me to really make it work, but I think this crisis maybe be over. Thank goodness for that.
Friday, June 10, 2011
The Name Game
It must be something in the air; or in the electrons. There's no other explanation.
Last week, while thinking about future posts for this blog, I was thinking about names; specifically, my difficulty in coming up with them. Imagine my surprise to read these two posts this week, plus this thread on Absolute Write. We must all be drinking the same Kool-Aid.
My problem not with naming characters and places. I may cast about a bit, looking for something that's just exactly right, but I don't agonize too much over it. I find something that seems right, start using it, and it either sticks or transforms to something else within a few paragraphs or pages. I may really like the original name, but I end up using what ultimately trips most naturally off my fingertips as I type. No, my big problem with names is what I name my stories. I have a problem with titles.
My 'first story' (it's the first one I remember; I'm sure I wrote others, but this is the one that launched my dreams of being a writer) was called – get this – The House of Evil. Horrible, isn't it? It was about four young people who found themselves at an old house where an evil scientist was doing evil scientist things. I found the story when we were cleaning out my parents' house. My mother kept it for thirty years. That makes me want to cry for two different reasons. Perhaps I will share that story here one day. I can't quite bring myself to burn it. Yet.
The only other story from those days that I remember having a title for was something my best friend at the time and I were working on together, before we decided we were going to do something else with our lives. That one was called The Assassin's Coffin. I don't remember much about the story, except that it involved a killer who drove a hearse and used a coffin in his killings somehow. Ah, the imagination of pre-teen boys. Title-wise, I think it's a step up from The House of Evil.
Titles became a problem in my professional life, too. I worked for a number of years in the education department at the Central Park Conservancy. Every couple of years someone higher up the organizational food chain came up with a new vision for the department, forcing us to either:
a) design a whole new set of programs to fit the new vision, or
b) repackage everything so it looked shiny and new.
Either way, we ended up having to come up with a bunch of new program titles for brochures and the website. Sure, what we were doing was nothing more than an hour and a half long study of pond life, but we really wanted to come up with something sexier title "Pond Study." Not very exciting, though I suppose it told everyone pretty much what the program was about, which is exactly what a name should do. One year we were looking to jazz up the names a bit. I suggested we rename our Invertebrates program "Some go Crunch," since the reaction of most city people when they see a 'bug' is to step on it. Not surprisingly, it got vetoed. I think we ended up sticking with just plain old "Invertebrates." Blah.
Book and story titles give me the opportunity to be more creative than my bosses at Central Park, but it's still important that the title relates in some way to the story. You can't go off the rails with a book title the way you can for a song or a painting, especially if you're a new author. It's all well and good for Bob Dylan to title a song Subterranean Homesick Blues, but a novel? What do you think it would be about, a homeless guy living in the New York City subway, pining for his old life back in Omaha? Coal miners, maybe? A title is important for catching the eye, but how will people react if they pull your novel, Pirates of the Caribbean, off the shelf and discover it's about wildcatters in Alberta? They're expecting a book on pirates, so it's probably going back up on the shelf.
I've got four novels in various stages of completion. Only one of them has a title, and I'm not all that happy with it (the title, that is; I'm still largely happy with the novel). When I posted a snippet from it on Absolute Write way back in February, I called it Lives in Parallel. Shortly thereafter, I started thinking of it as Parallel Lives. When I printed my first draft in April, I tacked on a cover sheet with the name Converging Parallels. Now I'm leaning back toward Parallel Lives. In truth, I really don't know what I'm going to call it, but I expect the word 'parallel' is going to be involved in there somewhere. If it ever gets to the point of being published, someone is likely to change it, anyway. I hope whoever does that does a better job than I did. And yet, the notion of parallel lives, or lives in parallel (and even the impossible 'converging parallels') makes sense in the context of the story and the novel's construction. And that's probably why I have it running through my head. I suppose if my story really suggested a title like Subterranean Homesick Blues (or that other Dylan classic, Rainy Day Women #12 & 35), I'd try to run with that.
The other three novels, even the completed NaNoWriMo draft, don't have titles to this point, and I think I know why. Each of the three has a story line. In two of the three cases I have an endpoint in mind; that is, I know roughly how I expect it to end (in the case of NaNo, I actually know how it ended). Yet what's missing for me is a real sense of what those books are about. They're not as fleshed-out thematically as Parallel Lives. Even the NaNo, complete though it may be, was so rushed, the ending so forced, that I never got a real strong sense of what it is. The other two are just not far enough along for me to really know what they're about beyond a broad plot outline.
I don't have problems titling my short stories, but maybe that's no surprise. The names for my short stories float to the surface like fish in a polluted lake; I often have a title before I've even finished writing my first draft. I expect it's because it's much more evident what the short story is about. Short stories get to the point much faster than novels (and blog posts). The theme, the 'what it's all about,' is easier to grab hold of in a short story. Often, there's one phrase in my short stories that resonates with me in such a way that it suggests itself for a title. The novels like to keep their secrets.
Now if you'll excuse me I have to go work on next week's blog post. We'll see if I get trumped again. Have a pleasant weekend.
Monday, June 6, 2011
The Weekend Update
Not too much happened on the writing front over the weekend. We left Thursday afternoon for my brother-in-law's house and returned yesterday. Through the magic of blogger I pre-wrote Friday's entry on Wednesday and set it up to post Friday morning. Ah, the wonderful world of technology!
I brought my notebook with me, in the event I had some time and inspiration. Indeed, a five-hour drive does provide plenty of thinking time. No matter how much a family of four has to say to each other, you're not going to fill up five hours of driving with constant conversation, so there was some good turnover time in my mind. I'm quite glad I finished my read-through before we left.
During a normal week at home I typically get up around 5:30 or so, which gives me about an hour before anyone else gets up to read blogs, catch up on AW, go through e-mail, pound a couple of cups of coffee and the like. For most of our visit I was getting up between seven and eight (ah, blackout curtains!). My sister-in-law and I were on roughly the same sort of schedule, getting up within about twenty minutes or so of each other. I wasn't going to be a rude guest and bury my nose in a notebook so it was socializing time pretty much from the start of each day. But Sunday, that was nice.
I woke around 5:15 and found my mind quite occupied with my book, specifically a key scene near the end. While I lay in bed the scene played out in my head.* I sort of saw it happening while I heard simultaneous narration. Do any of you write like this? I stayed in bed for about twenty minutes letting this play out, then I got up, grabbed my notebook, went down to the kitchen and managed to write it. Last night, after we'd been home for a while, I typed it up, making some changes along the way. It's a mere 850 words and it definitely needs some work, but it fits. Best of all, I had come to the conclusion that my main character didn't really exhibit any outward manifestation of changes that I wanted to occur. With this change to the scene, he does, and they make sense.
And so, now I'm back and really ready to get to work. I have a lot of notes to go through, a lot of changes to consider, a lot of rewriting to do, but the break charged me up and I'm raring to go.
*I checked this against Maryn's excellent thread on AW. I think this is grammatically correct, but man, does it look wrong!
Friday, June 3, 2011
The Reading, Part II
On Wednesday I finished the first read-through of my novel. It took longer than expected. I got almost halfway through it in a single day; it turned into more of a slog after that. I'm happy to say that it wasn't slow-going because I had to vomit into a bucket every page or two. No, I didn't hate my words, didn't hate my story, and I didn't try to rewrite it all while reading. It's just a slow process and life turned busier over the last four/five days.
Before I started the reading I imagined I'd breeze through it as if it were someone else's book, something pulled off the bookshelf at Barnes & Noble or the local library. Then I'd sit back, puff my pipe, stroke my chin, and say "Hmmm" and "I see" in a professorial manner. I'd let it float around my brain for a few days and then it would all become clear: I'd know how to make the shiny parts shinier and the broken parts healthy. And then I'd start rewriting and have a beautifully polished manuscript for someone to read.
In that imaginary world, the minor things – spelling errors, double periods, and the like – were to be ignored on the first run through. My goal was to focus on the world, the story, the characters. Is it exciting? Are the stakes high enough? Does enough happen? Does it make sense? Forget the minor nitty stuff, I'll catch it on the next run through.
That lasted until page 2, when I hit my first typo (I'm shocked I made it that far without one!). I found that I couldn't ignore them, and it really didn't make sense to ignore them, anyway. Still, the thing that really slowed me down was the constant note making. In the manuscript itself, there are x's, dashes, words scribbled down, brackets, cross outs and my new favorite, the asterisk. And there's a notepad with eighteen double-sided pages of notes about the novel, things that wouldn't quite fit in the margins of the manuscript. Everything from 'p. 4 tense is/was' to my personal favorite: 'p. 142 – NOPE, NOPE AND NOPE again.' I can't remember just what was so wrong on page 142, but it must have been a whopper.
The next step for me is to go back and reconcile all the notes in my notepad with things in the manuscript (and to decipher my chickenscratch handwriting). We're going away for the weekend so I'm not going to have much opportunity to do anything on this at all, but it's a good time for the professor in my head smoke his pipe, stroke his chin and say "hmm" and "yessss" and "I see." With any luck he'll come up with some good insights that will let me attack the problems in my manuscript and turn 'NOPE, NOPE AND NOPE again' into 'YES, YES, AND YES again.'
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So you spent hours writing, re-writing, editing and generally obsessing over your resume? Your resume is important, so that's a good start… right?
If you think this one document is going to land you that dream job… think again. To get a job in the 21st Century, you should focus more of your energy on your social media footprint.
Resume Stats You Should Know
- 6 seconds is all your resume gets to determine "Yes" or "No"
- According to recruiters, 50% of candidates are viewed as not-qualified
- Referred candidates are 2x more likely to land an interview than other applicants
False Advertising?
According to a SHRM study, 78% of resumes and applications are misleading. If you were looking at an advertisement for a car, a house, or any other large ticket item and you sensed the ad was misleading, what would you do? Exactly. You'd dismiss it. And that is what employers are doing with misleading resumes, too.
If the resume was so important, then why are 94% of recruiters, HR and hiring managers turning to social networks to scope out candidates? Maybe it is because the resume stinks. It doesn't give them the chance to learn very much about you. And the thought of hauling you in for an interview to see if you are the real deal seems like a costly investment if there are other solutions. Apparently, it is also because they don't trust the information on the resume. And finally, because they can because there is information about you online – free and easily accessible.
Your Digital Footprint
78% of recruiters have hired from social media!
There are hundreds of stories about companies hiring through Twitter…here's one about a company called Enterasys who hired a marketing executive based on his tweets.
So in March, I decided to abandon the traditional recruitment process for a new position in our marketing department. This wasn't just any position in marketing. I was looking to hire a six-figure salary, director level marketer responsible for digital and social marketing direction for our company. I did not accept any resumes and I only interacted with the candidates via Twitter.
-Vala Afshar, Enterasys
Create Digital Terrain
LinkedIn, Twitter and Facebook offer a a peek at what you are saying, thinking and doing. If you are smart, you'll give them stuff they'll be impressed by! How?
- Create an awesome LinkedIn profile (here's how)
- Showcase samples of work in your LinkedIn profile (here's how)
- Engage in group discussions, don't just lurk! (here's how)
- Jump on Twitter (learn how here)
- Build out a great Google+ profile (here's how)
And, you've heard this advice before but it's amazing how many people still aren't following it: clean up and lock down Facebook updates!
Your social media footprint is becoming the factor in many hiring decisions. Yes, your resume needs to be good. Your content on social media, however, needs to be even better!
For this post, YouTern thanks our friends at Career Sherpa!
About the Author: Hannah Morgan is a career sherpa, guiding new job seekers through the treacherous terrain of job search. If you are looking for no-nonsense advice, check out her site Career Sherpa, and follow Hannah on Twitter for the latest job search news and trends!


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Teens Are Cyberbullying Themselves. Why?
Hannah Smith was a 14-year-old living in Lutterworth, England, when she began receiving hateful messages on the social-networking site Ask.fm. A few weeks later, she committed suicide.
Convinced their daughter was a victim of cyberbullying, her family called for the question-and-answer site to be shut down. But when Ask.fm officials investigated what happened, they found that 98 percent of the messages sent to Hannah could be tracked back to her own IP address.
Hannah had been anonymously posting the derogatory comments about herself—something known as digital self-harm.
Easy to Hide
Like cutting—a form of self-injury that some adolescents and adults engage in to try to cope with strong feelings of pain or upset—digital self-harm is a newer form of teenage expression of self-hatred and depression that is just beginning to capture the attention of school officials.
Just as youths who cut themselves can often hide their wounds and scars under clothing, digital self-harm is difficult to detect.
Moved by Hannah Smith's story, cyberbullying researchers Justin Patchin, a professor of criminal justice at the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, and Sameer Hinduja, a professor of criminal justice at Florida Atlantic University, wanted to understand the prevalence of adolescents who bully themselves online and the reasons behind it.
They conducted a nationally representative survey of nearly 6,000 middle and high school students. Their study, "Digital Self-Harm Among Adolescents," revealed that 6 percent of students say they have cyberbullied themselves.
"These are youth who are knowingly and intentionally posting negative messages about themselves—and reporting that they did so to researchers. We should be deeply concerned that there are young people out there who are struggling and not getting the support that they need," researcher Danah Boyd said in an email.
Boyd, a principal researcher at Microsoft Research and the founder of Data & Society, a research institute that focuses on how technology is changing society and culture, originally coined the term "digital self-harm" eight years ago in a 2010 blog post that surfaced the online behavior. At the time, Boyd wrote that teens attacking themselves online while making it look like someone else was attacking them was a "very effective" way to get attention.
Published in the Journal of Adolescent Health last year, Patchin and Hinduja's study also found that males were significantly more likely to report self-harming themselves than females, with 7.1 percent compared with 5.3 percent, a finding that surprised the researchers.
While a great deal of research has been done on cyberbullying, the survey on digital self-harm is one of only two studies that have been done on the topic, Patchin said.
"It's still very early days, so even replicating our work is an important first step," Patchin said. "But what we'd love to do is that longitudinal research."
Such research would involve examining whether correlated factors, such as cyberbullying, physical self-harm, and drug use, precede or follow the act of digital self-harm, he said.
Although about 1 in 20 adolescents say they have digitally self-harmed, and almost half (48.7 percent) of those have done it more than once, schools are largely unaware of the behavior. That is mainly because of schools' inability to monitor students' actions on the internet, according to Lynn Linde, the senior director of the Center for Counseling Practice, Policy and Research at the American Counseling Association.
"Students are no longer safe anywhere, and what happens outside of schools, clearly affects students in schools," Linde said.
Even so, it can be difficult to pinpoint which students are bullying themselves online as a result of the anonymous nature of the behavior. In most cases, that would require tracking the IP address behind a post, or for a teenager to admit to posting negatively about himself or herself.
The survey gave those who engaged in the practice the option to explain why they digitally self-harmed. Of those who did explain, most said it originated from feelings of self-hatred.
"There's almost a desperate hope of being able to manipulate people into giving you a second chance. If other people feel bad enough for me, if other people think that this is what's happening to me online, they might give me a second chance, and then I can show them that I can fit in," said sociologist Laura Martocci, an expert in bullying who works with schools and professional organizations in the New York area.
Other students, however, were classified as seeking attention, with one such response being, "So people could see that people bully me too and that I could be mean to other people because 'people' were mean to me."
Some reported that they digitally self-harmed to be funny or to see the reactions of their peers.
"A parallel can be drawn between the kids who say, 'I'm going to kill myself,' " Patchin said, comparing the act of digital self-harming to be funny with other forms of self-deprecating humor that teenagers may participate in. "While it may be difficult for a parent or educator to make that difference [between potential harm and humor], professionals can easily make that difference."
Resources to Help
Although digital self-harm occurs on sites that allow anonymous messaging, such as Ask.fm, Sarahah, or Tumblr, Twitter and other popular social-media sites have taken steps to limit the glorification of self-harm and suicide on their platforms.
Twitter, according to a company spokeswoman, has updated its policy to be able to take down reported content that promotes or encourages suicide or self-harm. In the United States and Japan, Twitter has launched a new feature meant to help people who use search terms associated with self-harm. The social-media company provides information about getting support to users searching for "trigger words." The feature is being released globally throughout this year.
In March, Twitter introduced the policy by suspending accounts that had used trigger words implying self-harm or suicide, including the phrases "I want to die" and "kill myself." That resulted in criticism from Twitter users who share and post memes, expressing concern that the site may be unable to distinguish when such phrases are being used for humor and entertainment.
"I think that social media is continuing to evolve without the controls that we [counselors] or parents would like to see in place," said Linde. "It's pretty much a free-for-all."
According to an Ask.fm spokesperson, following a change in ownership and Hannah's death in 2013, the site conducted a review of self-messaging on its platform. Led by Richard Graham, a psychiatrist, the internal review found that 10 percent of questions on the site are self-asked. Of those, 1.5 percent contain "rude and cruel language and may contain encouragements to commit suicide."
Martocci argues that there are resources that schools can provide to their students, similar to those that they would provide to students being cyberbullied or physically self-harming.
"There are places online that you can go to if you're feeling pain. If you're feeling pain, even if by other people's standards you haven't been harassed, if you need support, even though you're supposed to be able to take it, you can go to sites like iHeartMob," Martocci said.
"This is a cyber ER, and we have to create more cyber ER spaces and encourage more people to volunteer in them."
Similarly, in 2017, Ask.fm partnered with the Koko service, an artificial-intelligence service that detects hurtful content, removes it, and directs users to mental-health-support services.
Vol. 37, Issue 33, Page 18Published in Print: May 30, 2018, as Schools See New Dilemma in Teens Who Cyberbully Themselves
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Safest Way to Store Your Wreath!
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Individual news stories are posted on the APRN news page. You can subscribe to APRN's newsfeeds via email, podcast and RSS. Follow us on Facebook at alaskapublic.org and on Twitter @aprn.
Paid Protesters Attempt To Convince Alaskans To Not Sign Oil Tax Cut Repeal
Alexandra Gutierrez, APRN – Juneau
A well know political operative is paying protesters to convince Alaskans not to sign an initiative petition to repeal the new tax cut on oil companies. Activists gathering signatures for the initiative say their workers are being harassed.
Redistricting Board To Begin Reviewing District Lines
Alexandra Gutierrez, APRN – Juneau
In the coming weeks, the Alaska redistricting board will be reviewing seven different political maps, on top of a handful that have been submitted by third party groups.
Senate Work On Immigration 'Dead On Arrival' In House
Peter Granitz, APRN – Washington DC
There's growing optimism in the Capitol, that the U.S. Senate will pass an immigration reform bill soon.
Lightning Strikes Ignite More Wildfires
Dan Bross, KUAC – Fairbanks
The Alaska Interagency Fire Coordination Center is reporting dozens of new wildfires in the state.
Tularemia Cases Reported In Delta Junction
Dan Bross, KUAC – Fairbanks
A snowshoe hare has tested positive for Tularemia in Fairbanks. The sick animal was found by a member of the public, who brought it to a local vet, where it died. The Alaska Department of Fish and Game is warning of the seasonal disease, which is transferred by direct contact and ticks. Pets and people can also get tularemia, and die if not promptly treated with antibiotics.
Where Are Anchorage's Homeless Coming From?
Daysha Eaton, KSKA – Anchorage
The majority of chronically homeless people in Anchorage are Alaska Native, and most of them are from Northern and Western Alaska. That's according to new data gathered by researchers with the Alaska Housing Finance Corporation during a one-day survey. They say the new data validates anecdotal evidence and they hope it will be used to create more culturally relevant programs to get the homeless off the streets and into stable housing. One Inupiaq woman, who's been homeless herself, is a model for how that might work.
AK: Canoe Paddles
Ed Schoenfeld, CoastAlaska – Juneau
Remember the Tlingit paddlers who lost their canoes on a recent journey through Southeast? High winds and rough seas capsized the watercraft, dumping hand-carved, red cedar paddles into the ocean.
The canoes were found, and later, some of the paddles. They had a homecoming of sorts a few weeks ago in Yakutat, where they were made.
300 Villages: Napakiak
This week we're heading to the village of Napakiak, near Bethel. Samuel Roberson is from Napakiak.