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The term "sex addiction" is thrown around a lot these days in an effort to shame men's normal, natural, biological desires. Just like the term "rape culture," the term "sex addict" is constantly applied to scenarios that have nothing whatsoever to do with addiction. It's also been applied repeatedly and incorrectly to several high sex drive celebrities like Tiger Woods. They even made a South Park episode about society's silly misuse of this term.
Have sex several times a week? You're a sex addict!
Masturbate a lot? You're a sex addict!
Have sex with multiple women on a regular basis? You suffer from sex addiction and need to go into treatment!
Cheated on your wife? Holy crap! Sex addiction!!!
Like going to strip clubs? Sex addict! (Oh, and "rape culture" too!!!)
None of these things have anything whatsoever to do with sex addiction. These things are all biologically normal and natural things healthy men do. You might not like them, and I may not like some of them (I don't like strip clubs and I'm against cheating), but none of these things have anything to do with an addiction.
My dad was a psychologist and mental health counselor for several decades. He would talk to me at length about his work, and I worked in his small business briefly while in high school. So while I'm no expert, I do know a little about what addiction is and is not, sex addiction as well as other types (drug, alcohol, etc).
Sex addiction has nothing to do with being horny or having lots of pleasurable sex. Sex addiction is a clinical condition and a compulsive behavior. Compulsive means you do it even if it doesn't make you feel good other than to relieve the obsession.
Raise your hand if you have sex all the time even though it doesn't make you feel good. No? Me neither. Then congrats, you're not a sex addict, even if you've had sex with 20 different people this year.
I've met one or two real sex addicts. It's pretty horrible. These are guys who suddenly leave their jobs during the day to go to have sex with 350 pound women, disgusting crack whores, or transvestites. When they have sex, it's not an act of pleasure. It's an act of desperation. It's not something they look forward to, it's something they have to do. Because it's an addiction.
The Difference Between Sex Addiction and High Sex Drive
On the other side of the coin, I have a high sex drive. This is not sex addiction, though low sex drive people, people with lots of ASD, women over age 33, and/or more conservative, traditional, or right-wing people may view it as such.
I have a lot of sex because I have a highly-masculine, highly-driven personality that really enjoys sex. It's just the way I am. I've always been this way. It's a personality trait, not an addiction.
Throughout the last few years, I've been accused of being a "sex addict" once or twice by uptight people, just like most other high sex drive Alpha Males have been. I always knew I wasn't, but I wanted something specific to verify this. I talked to my dad about it one day.
"How can I prove I don't have sex addiction?" I asked him, "Or do I?"
"It's simple," he said, "Do you ever turn down sex when it's offered from a woman?"
"Sure," I said, "Semi-regularly in fact."
"Then you don't have sex addiction," he said, "A sex addict wouldn't be able to do that."
As longtime readers know, throughout my life I've always had an "8" rule. I won't have sex with a woman unless I consider her an "8" on the 1 to 10 hotness scale. (As always, this is subjective, so when I say "8" it's what I personally would consider an 8, which will vary wildly from man to man, as I've explained before and have empirically proven). If a woman is a 7 or under, I won't have sex with her. I have no interest.
The only exception to this rule is women who are "grandfathered in"; women who have been in my life a long time and have gained weight since first having sex with them (which almost all American women do eventually). There's a limit to this of course. If they gain too much weight I have to next them, and have before, which again I could not do if I had "sex addiction." But if they gain a little and drop below an 8, I'll still see them as long as they don't give me drama.
With this "8 rule" in mind, during my high-activity years of 2008 to about 2010, I often encountered women who wanted to have sex with me, but whom I considered a 7 or lower. I turned them down, every time. I had no interest in having sex with personal 7s or below, and still don't. This pattern of behavior would be impossible if I suffered from "sex addiction."
This applies to you as well. If you've had sex with a lot of women, but they all are above a standard of beauty for yourself, you're not a sex addict regardless of how objectionable your sexual frequency (of sex or of women) is to society.
Let's take the sadly ridiculous Tiger Woods, whom I've joked about before. He's a complete idiot in his personal life, but he's not a sex addict.
Data point one. Tiger Woods is a good-looking, wealthy, successful, famous Alpha Male. As I've demonstrated perhaps hundreds of times, what happens when a good-looking, wealthy, successful, famous Alpha Male promises monogamy to one woman? The answer is: he cheats on her like a dog. This is not sex addiction. This is normal male behavior. If you were a good-looking, wealthy, successful, famous Alpha Male, you'd cheat like a dog too. Hell, you'd do it even if you were an Alpha who wasn't good-looking, wealthy, successful, or famous.
That's why it's so ridiculously stupid when Alphas promise monogamy to women, particularly long-term monogamy like marriage. But I've beat that topic to death already.
Data point two. Was Tiger Woods hooking up with random, everyday girls like a sex addict does? Ugly girls? Average or plain girls who happened to cross his path? Nope. Pretty much every woman he hooked up with was skinny, young, and super hot. We're talking Hollywood/model quality here. There are pictures of most of these women here and here. Go take a look; these were extremely attractive babes. Tiger had sex with a lot of girls, but he was very picky in regards to who he had sex with. This would not have been the case had he been suffering from "sex addiction."
Yet despite all of this, when Tiger got caught, he was accused of being a "sex addict" and went into "therapy" to "cure" his "condition." WAAAHAHAHA! This was so funny at the time that I laughed more at this than I did with the South Park episode which came a little later (which was really funny too).
That wasn't the end of it. After getting divorced (big shock) stupid Tiger got monogamous again (Jesus) with a new girlfriend (see Christian Troy Disease in my glossary) and cheated on her too (big shock). Take a look at the wording of this article describing it. Tiger Woods, "alleged sex addict" had his "addiction" "relapse." It's hilarious.
He had a one night stand with a "nameless, faceless woman." Oh, I bet she did have a face, and I bet it was super hot. That's not sex addiction. That's normal Alpha behavior (Alphas dumb enough or high-drama enough to promise absolute sexual monogamy, that is). I'm also sure it wasn't just one woman. There were probably many. Still not sex addiction.
But Isn't Sex Relief?
One argument that could be made against what I'm saying is that men who call themselves high sex drive do have sex addiction because if they don't have sex they feel stressed and need a release. Isn't that indicative of an addiction?
If you don't eat for a long time, you get hungry and irritable. Does this mean you have a food addiction?
If you don't go pee all day and feel like you're going to explode, do you have an addiction to going to the bathroom?
Of course not. It means you biologically require food and urination on a regular basis.
The confusion lies in the amount of food required. A 6'3" male athlete weighing 250 pounds of muscle is going to get more hungry more often than a petite 5'1" woman who weighs 100 pounds. If the guy gets hungry all the time, that little woman might frown at him and accuse him of having a "food addiction." He's not addicted; he just needs more food than she does. It's all perfectly normal and healthy. She's just being a simple-minded solipsistic bitch.
It's very true that if I go without sex for a time, I don't feel as good. As a high sex drive man, if I go without sex for even one week, I "feel" it. I'm okay, but I do feel a twinge of frustration. At two or three weeks of zero sex, I'm definitely feeling less than 100%. Once I have sex, I do feel better. Regular sex ensures that I'm more focused at work, in a happier mood with my co-workers and children, and sleep better. As I've described on this blog and in my books, men who deny themselves regular sex because it's "not that important" or it's "not that big of a deal" are harming themselves as men. Men are sexual creatures. Alphas more so. Sex is a big deal. It's critically important.
This is why I usually have sex around three times a week. However, as I write these words, I'm on a month-long trip to Asia, where it's possible, even likely, that I may not have any sex during the entire trip(!). I'm having so much fun, this is perfectly fine. It's an exception to my sexual frequency. Once again, there's no way in hell I could pull this off if I had a "sex addiction." If I did, I'd be slamming Asian prostitutes left and right while here, yet I've never had sex with a prostitute in my entire life.
But let's get back to the point. If you feel some negative pressures if you go without sex for a while, does that mean you're a sex addict? Well, it depends on how you handle it.
If you go without sex for a few days, then your head explodes because you just can't stand it, and you immediately run out and have sex with an ugly chick, or a disgusting prostitute, or the next-door neighbor's 14 year-old daughter, then yeah, one could argue that you're suffering from some kind of addiction, or at least an imbalance.
But if instead you thoughtfully and systematically take the time necessary to have sex with someone you find attractive, in a way that doesn't harm your life or anyone else's, then no, you're not a sex addict; you're a healthy, high sex drive man behaving normally.
Moreover, when I have sex, I really, really like it. Sex is a pure pleasure for me, on all levels. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. It's all wonderful and there's literally nothing bad about it, at least for me. Sex is the highest form of physical pleasure a normal person can feel, and I include massages in there which also feel amazing (but not as good as sex!).
I don't have sex because I "need my fix." I have sex because I truly and honestly enjoy it immeasurably.
I will go back to one of my favorite quotes of all time, said by Scott Adams:
Society is organized in such a way that the natural instincts of men are shameful and criminal while the natural instincts of women are mostly legal and acceptable.
That's exactly what we're talking about here when women (and some low sex drive men) throw around the stupid term "sex addiction." It's why women and beta males in society attempt to shame normal, healthy men with inaccurate terms like "sex addict" when it clearly doesn't apply. As is usually the case with these things, these people are actually harming real sex addicts when they throw this term around so recklessly and inaccurately.
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43 Comments on "It's Not Sex Addiction"
Never fear BD. As you know, if you have too much sex, your penis turns green and your ears fall off. And woe betide you if Mr. Kellogg catches you sliding down the banister! 😀
I think what saddens me the most, is that for all the truth in your post, society still throws more crap at high sex drive women than it does at high sex drive men.
I know all about relationships being temporary and NRE but I have seen it so often. Women who can't get enough at the beginning, once they are part satiated, get shut down by implied guilt.
Enjoy your travels. 🙂
Woman here. I'm a little addicted to reading your blog by now. To the point that I feel the need to comment, even though I agree with absolutely everything you have said in this post 🙂 Enjoy your stay in Asia! I keep looking forward to Monday's update.
Good stuff BD. The sex addiction thing is such bullshit. Just another way to shame normal healthy male sex drives. And I assume a way to save face for celebrity guys that get caught cheating.
society still throws more crap at high sex drive women than it does at high sex drive men.
I disagree. The prevailing mainstream narrative today dictates that if you're a woman sleeping with multiple men, you are liberated, high self esteem, beautiful, and empowered. But if you're a man sleeping with multiple women, you are a pig, a womanizer, a sex addict, are contributing to the fictional rape culture, and objectify women instead of treating women like flawless, infallible, and incorporeal spiritual entities with beautiful souls.
This is a matriarchal setup which aims at maximum heterophobia against men and maximum sexual freedom for women.
The anti-female slut shaming that you are referring to usually comes from (1) lower sex drive women who want to be paid a higher price for the sex they "generously give," instead of getting dumped for a more open minded and higher sex drive woman with a lower price, or (2) from conservative, prudish, and territorial alpha male 1.0s who want to "marry" a low sex drive female who will have a high sex drive only with him and be his financial parasite (basically Guy Disney).
The reason it seems to you that shaming open minded women is more prevalent is because women (with less testosterone and more anxiety) tend to be more emotionally fragile and more apt to complain about everything (a lot of the slut shaming is self-inflicted and imaginary on the part of some women, known as ASD).
Plus, our matriarchal civilization spotlights women's issues while ignoring men, and even goes so far as to endorse the most genuinely evil double standards. Example: When a man murders his girlfriend and says "the bitch made me do it," he is considered a monster who receives death or life in prison. But when a woman murders her boyfriend and says "the asshole made me do it," she is considered a hero who stood up to an abusive monster who "made her do it," gets acquitted in court, and receives media acclaim for her "bravery and courage."
I agree that anti-female slut shaming is a problem (largely perpetrated by low sex drive women wanting to inflate the price of sex and territorial old school alphas who want to chain women to the stove), but anti-male stud shaming is an even bigger problem in our society because it is not even taken seriously or addressed by anyone, except the manosphere!
According to modern DSM guidelines, something is a disorder if it's causing you or those around you immediate dysfunction in some regard.
Example for masturbation, perhaps, was that the addiction was strong enough that you missed work, important events, dates, etc … to fulfill your needs. Then you're getting into 'there's a fucking problem' territory.
Tiger Woods' case … having the ability to fuck many supermodels, and thus going ahead and doing so (and pissing off many women in the process for taking away their one realm of advantage, gatekeeper and grantor of sex) … is not some sort of disorder. In fact if you DON'T want to ejaculate into droves of supermodels you may be in fact be the anomaly.
As a woman I object to your assertion that a high sex drive is mainly seen as a problem for men. Women can and do have much higher sex drives than we are usually allowed to express. Men can feel very threatened by a high sex drive female, ask me how I know. As a woman, the criteria for "sex addiction" is also much easier to meet.
Ive taken the sex addicts anonymous quiz a couple times and scored very high. Im a bona fide "sex addict", according to them. However, many of the questions relate to past behavior, not necessarily the present and also upon feelings of guilt or shame. Women are made to feel even more guilty or shameful of their sexual desires than men, by society in general, so it follows that we would score higher in that area, in general.
I dont think i am a true sex addict because I retain control over my behavior, don't allow it to negatively affect the rest of my life and im not committing crimes. A pedophile is a true "sex addict" with a problem, not an adult engaging in consensual sex with other adults.
So batting below your league is equal to sex addiction? Good to know. It'd be interesting to know which celebrity woman would be an approximation of your personal 8 though.
Just thought it was weird to read this: "If a woman is a 7 or under, I won't have sex with her. I have no interest." Your seven seems to be most people's 5. I guess I can't picture you seeing a cute girl then saying "nah, she's not hot enough" Any way I don't want to get into a Dawson Stone type nitpicking routine, you have your taste and everybody else has theirs. Just send all the sevens over here!
Men like sex so of course it's shamed.
Cultural shaming follows anything;
that makes men happy
that men do to improve themselves personally.
I can only think of one type of activity that makes men happy that has yet to be targeted for shaming and that's outdoor recreation; fishing, camping, hiking. Granted, a wife will try to end all of that in a marriage right away but outdoorsy style guys haven't been singled out yet and lampooned much.
Football, healthy sex drives, dating younger women, gaming, drinking with the buds, garages cluttered with tools and parts, admiring female physiques, dating (much more attractive) foreign women, being a bit sloppy around (their own) home, wanting to relax (lazy!) with a dram and an easy chair after 12 hours of work….all things men like….all tinged and sometimes brush-stroked with shame and a general sense of impropriety.
On to self-improvement. It's a bit different. But a nation of fit, well-dressed, well-read men who eat well does not fit the feminist imperative at all. They NEED men to see men as bookless slobs dressed like 8th graders in order to keep their narrative of constant complaint humming along. Therefore, any good, self-improving steps are bitch-slapped down immediately, in order to maintain males as disappointments. IMO, the 6 main routes to self-improvement are reading, dressing well, eating well, drinking little or not at all, sensible spending if not frugality, exercise.
Read…."Fag. Oscar Wilde reading swish."
Dress well…."Fag, fop, dandy,"
Eat well…."He's eating fish and broccoli. What a fag!"
Doesn't drink (or only does when it's high end liquor or wine, no cheap beer) "Fag"
Minimalist lifestyle (unmarried iow)…."Weird. Must be a fag or pedophile."
Work out…"Fag, metrosexual"…..this one is probably the least targeted but a single man post 35 who works out and doesn't proudly wear his gut like a badge of slob-hood…"Fag."
Yeah, it's men who do a lot of the shaming but only because they've so internalized the female imperatives. If you disagree then imagine some dude;
-Lean. Wearing a trouser and slacks, nice tie. Leather monk straps. I don't mean a guy wearing his navy suit for work downtown. I mean a guy on Sunday at Starbuck's, drinking green tea and some fruit (healthy) in his cream blazer and olive slacks. Blue or green tie. Tan monks. He's reading McCarthy with his green tea. He's alone……Oh, what a FAGGOT! Right? Don't deny it. Anyone would think that. When all he is, is a well dressed, well read man who is health conscious. There you go then.
All facets of enjoying being male or improving yourself as a male are under attack. If you haven't checked out by now, it's just on you at this point. This stuff is so obvious. The female consciousness/imperative is at a point of maximum dominance. 'Enjoyment' is a few dying embers and any humble steps towards mounting any kind of comeback via self improvement are shamed by males and females alike.
BD, so you never had sex with a prostitute in your entire life?
I am curious, what's your concern/the reason behind it?
Is it because of the risks of STD's? Or does it has anything to do with your INTJ personality type?
I am an INTJ type myself, and I am a control freak when it comes to my health. The fact is that I also never had sex with a prostitute in my life, but for me, it is more because of the STD risks
Totally agree with a lot of the discussion here. Healthy male sexuality is shamed and demonized, and quasi-medical determinations are cooked up to provide legitimacy for their puritanical ideas. I take most of the field of Psychology with a grain of salt, as there's very little consistency between different practitioners.
Men can feel very threatened by a high sex drive female, ask me how I know.
I believe it, and I don't think that will go away anytime soon. Men produce BILLIONS of sperm for every egg a woman does. In monogamous relationships, a woman's ability to refuse partners gives her leverage, just as a man's ability to sleep with other women gives him leverage. Most men want monogamous relationships, and women with lower partner counts will always be valued higher to them. Just as men who are virgins will always be less attractive to most women. But men are increasingly less interested in monogamy, so things will get easier for higher sex drive women. I have no plans on being monogamous, so I actually prefer higher sex drive women.
I'm on a month-long trip to Asia, where it's possible, even likely, that I may not have any sex during the entire trip(!).
Wait, what? SE Asia is the easiest place in the world to get laid. Do me a quick favor, and create a profile on http://www.filipinocupid.com, or even http://www.dateinasia.com. I can almost guarantee you'll get more interest than you ever would on western dating sites. Don't be fooled by the "looking for a serious man" language, most will go home with you anyway if they like you. Even if you weren't planning on going there, there's a lot of expats in Cebu who may be interested in your content, and it might be worth checking it out.
so you never had sex with a prostitute in your entire life?
I am curious, what's your concern/the reason behind it?
Why in the world would you ever frame sex as some kind of a favor to you, or a condescending generosity that you must pay a woman for? Unless you have a serious inferiority complex as a man, or believe that women are asexuals who must be bribed while only men are heterosexuals, prostitution is something that no real man would even consider. It is a statement of female supremacy that she's doing you a favor and you are gratefully receiving it.
The price for her vagina must always be your penis.
Otherwise, she's the generous princess and you're the loser/slave. You'll never achieve an alpha mindset with that pathetic thinking.
Football shaming is a thing? On what planet? LMAO It's certainly not here. I've never heard of a man being called a "fag" for reading books either. I think you are overplaying the pity card…. It's MOSTLY men who give each other shit for things like dressing nice (never seen that with black men though, definitely just a white people in certain areas of the country thing). Never in my life have I heard of a WOMAN complaining about a man drinking wine instead of beer…. Heck, many of the men that take me out on dates have told me they prefer fruity, traditionally "girly" drinks. They don't seem ashamed and I really don't care. I'm pretty sure only men would care about something like that. I don't see any women giving men crap for working out either!
@JackintheBox- NWP, is that you??
I find it very interesting that in the comment directly above yours, Guy is taking the traditional stance that a woman's eggs are more valuable and therefore she should have less sex- followed by you saying a penis is just as valuable as a vagina. As long as men continue to take the stance that women need to guard their "eggs" and have less sex, a woman's vagina will be more valuable than a penis. You're bringing it on yourself boys….
You've completely misunderstood what I wrote. I actually said:
I have no plans on being monogamous, so I actually prefer higher sex drive women.
Can you think of a guy that likes being monogamous while supporting a woman that constantly sleeps with other guys and cuckolds him? I can't. However, if a guy has no desire to be monogamous, I see no reason why he should care one way or the other. It's really the intersection of the expectations of monogamy with biological reality that causes the social pressures you lament. Take away the expectation of monogamy, and you have nothing to get worked up over.
The typical guy, who has sex with 5s and 6s all the time, or the other typical guy who hasn't had sex at all in 3 months…both of those guys would leap at a 7 offering sex I'm sure. It's all a matter of perspective.
I definitely fit that, but if I raised my standards to 8+ only, well, I wouldn't have any sex, or it'd be months between dates, let alone sex. I'm basically forced into going out with 3-6s. Not really complaining, it's 100% my fault for living where I do, but it's not realistic for every guy to consistently land 8+'s. (I live where I live for work, not dating)
Hey BD, a little off-topic but reading this article reminded me of how you compared sex and money to the tires of a motorcycle in your book.
Now between the two, which would you consider more important?
I am asking this because I am an older student (late 20's) going back to school for an Engineering degree because I made stupid choices which lead me to dead end jobs. Although right now, during my work term, I am using my spare time to start an online retail business that is pretty much your definition of an Alpha 2.0 business. And when I am in school, I am crushed by the course load and I don't have time for anything else.
These days I haven't had time or energy to commit to go meet women (because of the energy and time spent on my side business), although some days I really want to get laid (haven't got any action for more than a year now sadly).
What kind of advice would you give to someone in my situation?
My plan right now is to take the lowest course load possible once I go back to school for my academic term, concentrate on building my business until I net about $2-3k/month then put all my effort into meeting women at my university. I may have to take a part time job if my business ends up going over my budget.
And yes, I know you're not fond of schooling, but I think I fall into your exceptions because it is a pre-requisite to a high paying job.
My opinion: Decide what's most important to you and commit yourself to that. Don't turn down obvious opportunities, but focus your energy on either sex or work. Trying to do both will burn you out/spread you too thin. Trying to do college, business, and dating at the same time when you don't have one of them setup is going to lead you to slipping on all three.
Let us know what it's like to be a man then. You'd know before we would right?
"Overplaying the pity card" IOW, "Shutup we're the victims here."
It's not about 'pity' anyway. It's about men developing some understanding of where they're at in the culture and changing their lives based on that. Your dismissiveness is noted and adds to my point quite well. So thanks for that.
I think it's long overdue that men start recognizing that they are being boxed around by shaming. More guys need to live how they want. My point is that there is an element of shaming for each facet of living well. It doesn't mean that every single woman engages in it, but that society at large gives a collective sneer at men who are focused on themselves instead of their roles as mules.
Really wish I could sit down and talk to Tiger Woods
The only thing that guy really wants are unfenced relaitonships
He would have zero drama in his life if he knew how to do them
He would also have several hundred million bucks more in the bank
Yes, it's really tempting to do all 3, but I know that doing all 3 will just lead to nothing because changing focus itself uses up energy and time so I try to limit myself to as less as possible.
Ideally, I'd quit school but school actually helps me pay for my living expenses (I'm in a co-op program), give me a high paying job afterwards, and allows me to take out a student loan at low interest. If I quit now, I don't think I could get a high paying job that I have now because the economy sucks (my city has mostly oil jobs), and most of my work experience is really varied (worked in many industries). Also, I am unsure whether my business plan would take off so I need a backup.
I think my plan is pretty solid, I just needed some affirmation. Cheers.
Spot on BD.
Do I get shamed if I quote a Kanye West song?
Runaway, second verse, Pusha T, not Kayne but spot on.
24/7, 365, pussy stays on my mind
I-I-I-I did it, all right, all right, I admit it
Now pick your next move, you could leave or live with' it
Ichabod Crane with that motherfuckin' top off
Split and go where? Back to wearin' knockoffs, huh?
Knock it off, Neiman's, shop it off
Let's talk over mai tais, waitress, top it off
Fools like vultures wanna fly in your Freddy loafers
You can't blame 'em, they ain't never seen Versace sofas
Every bag, every blouse, every bracelet
Comes with a price tag, baby, face it
You should leave if you can't accept the basics
Plenty hoes in a baller-nigga matrix
Invisibly set, the Rolex is faceless
I'm just young, rich, and tasteless
Tiger woods if you're listening… this is how you get your golf game back. 100%
Wondering if this post is in response to the new Neil Strauss book, where he describes his stay in rehab for sex addiction after being caught cheating on his monogamous GF, his subsequent experiments with non-monogamy, and eventual decision to reconnect with and marry that GF. He concludes that none of his sexual adventures led to his happiness, and that only after healing himself from childhood trauma (which afflicts every human to a greater or lesser extent), could he settle into a committed relationship and be happy. Though never overtly stated, my inference after reading it was that PUAs would be better off and happier spending their time and energy healing their inner child than locked in an endless chase for the next hottest babe. Frankly, my personal experience leads me to believe his most recent book will lead to more long-term happiness in the world than his former one ever did.
BD have you read Neil's new book? I have a morbid curiosity to get in the mind of the player who tricks himself into monogamy. It is laughable that he checked himself into rehab for "sex addiction" after cheating once. Sounds like he also has an extreme case of oneitis for whomever this woman is.
The devious agenda of those labeling normal alpha male behavior in terms of "addiction" is so transparent: to control others, by shaming them, by stigmatizing some of their normal healthy traits. Yeah, masculinity is pathology. I'm sick of this shit. Makes me wanna puke.
But now that I read this post BD, I'm worried that I'm "addicted" to air and water…
I don't know exactly what happens to those super-player PUA guys but I guess it's some kind of rubber band effect. They are all the same: extrapolating to absurd levels what should be normal Alpha behavior when young; then going the complete opposite direction (beta monogamous pussy whipped) when old.
Makes no sense to me a guy who spends years fucking tons of women and bashing society, feminism, other Alphas, marriages then becomes older, get oneitis and preachs like a maniac against the same lifestyle he used (and enjoyed) before. The worst part is it's always the same excuse: maturity.
These dudes have awesome reads and materials about seduction, but when talking about other stuff (especially relationships) we have to be very careful about their "turning points".
I have a lot of sex because I have a highly-masculine, highly-driven personality that really enjoys sex. It's just the way I am. I've always been this way. It's a personality trait, not an addiction.
Hasn't this been normal for anyone that has been capable and pioneered anything throughout human history? Those low-sex drive silly conservative people like to follow rules because they don't have these traits that set them apart to be their own person. Their low sex drives and weak personalities suggest whenever they actually get round to doing it annually, they don't overly enjoy it anyway, so don't really understand what all the fuss is about.
What are the top 5 things u enjoy in life no particular order ? Sex would be in my list … Also what do you do as you age as a man by the time your 50 you lose sensitivity to touch your orgasms is weaker and your borners arent as hard? Is sex basicslly over by 50 when it comes to physical pleasure
What ties for number 5 ? I know food is one of them
BD, I am very late to this party and to this thread. I so wish I had discovered this blog when I first divorced. So many mistakes, it's almost embarrassing. I'm now in my mid 40s and dating a gorgeous, low-drama woman in her late 20s. I would say I'm a transitioning Alpha 1.0 to Alpha 2.0. Ten years ago, I was a typical Beta.
This post was eye opening, to put it mildly. I've always been a high sex drive person and have had girlfriends accuse me of being a sex addict, simply because I wanted to have sex often, with my girlfriend!
Granted, I do like to have sex 5 or 6 days per week. I'm probably averaging 6.5 days per week over the past 6 months. Hell, I have a very hot, young girlfriend so why not?!
And that's just me. I've always been this way. But I'm also perfectly happy to containing that to the woman I am seeing. Deny me regular sex however, and I will seek it elsewhere. I don't believe that is in any way sex addiction. Heck, I've spent months overseas and completely abstained due to a commitment of monogamy to someone who completely took care of those needs at home. Certainly you will say that it would be better to be in a nonmonogamous relationship so it is never an issue. But I honestly never considered it before.
Anyway, thank you again.
As longtime readers know, throughout my life I've always had an "8" rule. I won't have sex with a woman unless I consider her an "8" on the 1 to 10 hotness scale.
Lol @ the "8" rule. This is why I ditched the pointless 1-10 scale a long time ago and just operate on binary. 1 = smash, 0 = pass. Simple. Considering chicks can go up or down a few points just based on makeup/beauty products/hair/fake boobs/fake ass it's just too much effort to argue with people "oh she's a 7, naw she's a 8, naw that's a 5" Fuck it, if I decided I'm smashing I'm going for it.
I think the bottom line of the 8 rule is just raising the bar, not nitpicking whether someone is 7.5 or 8.5. Exceptionally beautiful women can't mess with your frame if all the other ones are also very beautiful.
So happy to read BD clearly explain what sex addiction is… the whole societal programming has made everyone believe anyone having sex more than once a week is an addict. (Mild exaggeration but you get my point).
I'm someone who's had sex twice a day (2-4 hours) for the past 7 years straight and I don't see myself slowing down. Many of you may think I'm making this stuff up but it's easily doable…
Sex is more than male ejaculation. Most of us end the sexual act when a man ejaculates… of course a lot of us try and make sure the woman reaches her climax too but women are multiorgasmic… they can go on and on with the right man and chemistry.
When we men discover the power to control male ejaculation which the French rightly call, "petit mort" translation – "small death"… sex with you lady reaches a different level, a different plane… only explicable when one experiences it first hand. You want to feel euphoria… there you have it.
And yes, there is time to have sex 2 times a day and still be successful!
What are your thoughts on that BD?


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Greetings and salutations, fellow cosplay-enthusiasts! ^o^
I may be new to this forum, but I've known about this place for a while. And like a big silly goof, I never really thought of joining until I realized how many of my friends happen to be here (and a joyous shout-out to you all = Ai-Rika, Perzephone, ji-hwan, etc.).
So... see ya around, folks. *waves cheerfully*
New-ish here... ^_^
If you want to cosplay, but don't know how or where to start, we'll try to help you out!
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2 posts • Page 1 of 1
- Kara Kazeneko
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Fri Jun 18, 2010 8:58 am
- Location: Seattle, Washington
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Re: New-ish here... ^_^
hey there and welcome
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2 posts • Page 1 of 1

subset: commoncrawl


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So many strange pairings this week, so many good scenes. Lots of story building.
A biggie with Audrey and Lewis. What is he doing? Is he smitten or is he taking her for a ride? If so, what kind? Is he tired of the escort business, of being nice to people like that dreadful accountant lady with the twins? Or does he have a sideline in emotion-driven financial fraud?
Natasha and Nick. Is he smitten or just unable to avoid her? Girlfriends Sophie and Sian. Is Sian really smitten or is she just between boyfriends? Gary and David. Not smitten, but some powerful moments in beautifully staged scenes.
Mary: Smitten or scary?
And the couple that has to take the prize for weirdness: Mary and Norris in Brontë country. Mary is becoming more like Kathy Bates' character in the movie Misery than she is Cathy in Wuthering Heights. But she's funnier than both characters.
Watching her and Norris on this vacation has been frightening and entertaining in a ghoulish way. Every scene has been so wonderful it's hard to pick. Leaving in the motor home with Mary's choice of music, of course, being Kate Bush's 'Wuthering Heights' – a wonderful eerie song made terrifying by it being Mary's choice.
Mary's dinner served in resplendent style in the Brontë-esque cottage: toad-in-the-olé. The two of them happily working on magazine puzzle and slogan contests. Norris, of all indoor people, going stir-crazy wanting to go out and walk in the brisk country air. And Mary wanting no part of it, only wanting him to keep working on contests so they can win vacations to other wonderful lands. "We can walk in the Florida Keys." Mary breaking into song, Susan Boyle's 'I Dreamed a Dream' .
And Friday's finale, when it gets truly scary. She hides the laces to Norris' boots so he can't walk. Then she, oops, accidently breaks the wiring box for the telephone. And remember, Norris was complaining when they got there about only getting one bar on his cell phone. "There's a land line," Mary said. Run, Norris, run, with or without your boot laces.


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text: Rob and the team he had were excellent. After another company botched the job of fitting a bathroom shower l, rob and the team came in and rectified the issue perfectly and in a timely and efficient manner. I'd have no doubts about using this compnay again as they are excellent


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ASKED by a news magazine to comment on the mental health of a certain US presidential candidate, psychiatrists detailed his "grandiose manner" and "godlike self-image", describing him as "paranoid" and a "counterfeit figure of a masculine man".
If you think I'm talking about 2016, you'll need to wind back the clock.
The Republican presidential candidate in question was Senator Barry Goldwater and the year was 1964.
Fact magazine, employing some pretty loose journalistic ethics, had published a special issue devoted to the candidate's mental health, or rather alleged lack of it.
The magazine's case rested in part on a survey of 12 356 psychiatrists, which asked whether Goldwater was psychologically fit to be president.
Of the 2417 who responded – most of them anonymously – 1189 said that Goldwater was unfit, 657 answered fit, and 571 said they did not know enough about him to answer the question.
Some offered specific diagnoses of mental illness or comments like the ones quoted above.
After the defeat of his presidential bid, Goldwater successfully sued for libel over the publication.
The ripple effects of the affair continue today. The magazine's survey led to a rewriting of the American Psychiatric Association's (APA) ethical guidelines.
Clause 7.3, the so-called Goldwater rule, states, among other things, that it is "unethical for a psychiatrist to offer a professional opinion unless he or she has conducted an examination", thereby precluding comments on the mental health or otherwise of public figures.
The APA has felt the need to restate the rule in recent times as a result of the diagnostic frenzy surrounding President Donald Trump.
"Simply put, breaking the Goldwater rule is irresponsible, potentially stigmatising, and definitely unethical," wrote APA president Dr Maria Oquendo in the lead-up to the 2016 election.
Among those who had offered a diagnosis was former dean of the Harvard Medical School, Professor Jeffrey Flier, who tweeted back in July 2016: "Narcissistic personality disorder. Trump doesn't just have it, he defines it."
Professor Flier is not a psychiatrist, but three prominent members of that profession tried to tread a fine line when they publicly raised concerns about the president elect's mental health in a letter to President Barack Obama late in 2016.
The professors, from Harvard Medical School and the University of California, acknowledged that their professional standards did not allow them to venture a diagnosis for a public figure who they had not examined personally.
"Nevertheless, his widely reported symptoms of mental instability – including grandiosity, impulsivity, hypersensitivity to slights or criticism, and an apparent inability to distinguish between fantasy and reality – lead us to question his fitness for the immense responsibilities of the office," they wrote.
The three professors urged Obama to order "a full medical and neuropsychiatric evaluation" of the president elect before he assumed office, though they did not explain just how they thought an outgoing president might require such an examination of his replacement.
Meanwhile, Dr Allen Frances, the psychiatrist who wrote the criteria for narcissistic personality disorder, weighed into the debate, declaring the widespread diagnosis of the new president by both professionals and amateurs to be inaccurate and misguided.
While President Trump might exhibit some or all of the symptoms of the disorder, Dr Frances said he did not meet the requirement – "crucial in defining all mental disorders" – of clinically significant distress or impairment.
"Trump is clearly a man singularly without distress and his behaviors consistently reap him fame, fortune, women, and now political power… Dismissing Trump as simply mad paradoxically reduces our ability to deal with his actions," Dr Frances wrote.
You could argue, I suppose, that Dr Frances himself broke the Goldwater rule by saying a public figure did not have a particular condition.
In any case, even before the current brouhaha, some were arguing the rule was overly prescriptive.
In an article published in 2016, American authors described it as an excessive response to what was admittedly an embarrassing moment in American psychiatry.
Mental health experts, they argued, should not be prevented from "voicing psychiatric concerns as matters of conscience".
Time for a more nuanced view, perhaps?
Jane McCredie is a Sydney-based science and medicine writer, editor and publisher.
To find a doctor, or a job, to use GP Desktop and Doctors Health, book and track your CPD, and buy textbooks and guidelines, visit doctorportal.


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It's hard not to have expectations when there's something you're really looking forward to. By definition, anticipation is "pleasurable expectation"; it's the hope that what you have imagined will come to pass in the way you envision.
My expectations get me in trouble, though. A lot.
In our marriage, it's understood that most of my frustration usually stems from unspoken expectations about anything and everything in our relationship. For example, I look forward to date night, excitedly imagining meaningful connection with my husband, an evening full of deep conversation, romantic moments, and lots of loving exchanges between us. No matter how sweet our time is together, though, it rarely lives up to the dream I have created in my mind. And disappointment sets in. This illustration plays itself out in countless other areas of my life: unmet expectations steal my joy.
Our family has been given an incredible gift over the next couple months: time. My husband's job provides for a three-month long sabbatical, an opportunity to rest, renew spiritually, acquire new skills, and even just to play. It only happens every five years—our kids will be in school before it happens again. And so, I have joyfully anticipated what this time would look like for months, praying and hoping that not a precious moment would be wasted. You might say I had some expectations about making the most of our time.
The thing is, even the most well-meaning expectations have the danger of apprehending you, holding you captive to the way you thought things should go. Freedom comes from releasing the way you thought life would be and resolving to be present wherever you are.
To be present is a gift. To be present releases the pressure to meet expectations. To be present removes the burden of performing to achieve a frequently unspoken, often impossible standard. To be present allows others to be themselves, real and honest and vulnerable. To be present cultivates a heart attitude of gratefulness. To be present opens us up to encounter the Divine. As C.S. Lewis wrote in The Screwtape Letters, "the Present is the point at which time touches eternity."
So here I am, choosing to release my husband from the pressure of living up to my expectations about what–ahem–his sabbatical (that is, not mine) would look like. Because it turns out that what he needs is actually different from what I thought he needed. And what each day holds is always a mystery, but one that brings peace in remaining unsolved. Especially when you know the One who sees the whole picture, Who knows what your soul needs to come alive, and Who will stop at nothing to redeem every seemingly wasted moment.
I'm learning to let Corey rest the way he needs to rest, pursue God the way he encounters Him most meaningfully, unwind the way his mind can check out completely, and free him from explaining to me how he chooses to spend his days. I'm choosing to allow Corey to be the man God created him to be, completely different from the woman I'm created to be. And in releasing control, I am finding freedom to be present, to lose the sense of urgency that hurries me through my days and blinds me to the gifts of each moment.
I am learning to be thankful for right now. A couple of hours to myself to drink coffee and put thoughts to paper. An early run in the glory of morning light. The sheer delight of my daughter chasing tennis balls while Corey and I play together. Baby babble communicating joy without words. Two giggling kids blowing slobbery raspberries on my belly and all over each other. Time, time, sweet time together. The list goes on and on and on—so I've finally started trying to write these things down to remind myself to be thankful for each gift. Being present is allowing me to see that there is more to be thankful for than I could ever even name, but by trying I am changed.
I'm learning to trust that a heart surrendered to the Giver of Life is exponentially better than the fulfillment of any of my expectations. When my deepest desire is to know God instead of just to get what I think I want, that's when I find the truest meaning of life. And in knowing Him I am released from the futility of trying to control a life that is beyond my control anyway. My heart is finally able to stop striving and rest in the present and in His Presence.


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What exactly are social media management services?
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View our some of our clients we provide Social Media Management for Full-Time.


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CRS report via FAS – The Blue Slip Process for U.S. Circuit and District Court Nominations: Frequently Asked Questions, Barry J. McMillion, Analyst in American National Government. October 2, 2017.
"The blue slip process used by the Senate Judiciary Committee (the committee) for U.S. circuit and district court nominations has received renewed interest from Senators. The committee's use of the blue slip has been, since at least 1917, a feature of its consideration of U.S. circuit and district court nominations. After a President selects a nominee for a U.S. circuit or district court judgeship, the chairman sends a blue-colored form to the Senators representing the home state of the nominee. The form seeks the home state Senators' assessment of the nominee. If a home state Senator has no objection to a nominee, the blue slip is returned to the chairman with a positive response. If, however, a home state Senator objects to a nominee, the blue slip is either withheld or returned with a negative response. Since the use of blue slips is not codified or included in the committee's rules, the chairman of the committee has the discretion to determine the extent to which a home state Senator's negative, or withheld, blue slip stops a President's judicial nomination from receiving a committee hearing and a committee vote and, consequently, whether it reaches the Senate floor. Over the century of the use of the blue slip, different chairmen have used the blue slip in different ways. During some years, a chairman has required a nominee to receive two positive blue slips from his or her home state Senators. This particular blue slip policy, for example, was in place during the eight years of the Obama presidency an d much of the George W. Bush presidency—during periods of both unified and divided party control."


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The Christmas Town is a thrilling adventurous novel interspersed with humor and romance. It's a great read any time of the year, but it's an especially cozy read during the winter months around Christmas.
The Christmas Town is available in both paperback ($8.79) and Kindle ($4.99) on Amazon.
They crept along, eye-weary, back-weary and bone-weary. They'd been driving for over an hour and they had not seen another car, road sign, house or town.
"Okay, I'm freakin' out," Megan said. "I mean, if we don't see some sign of life in the next few minutes, I am going to freak out!"
"Let's try to stay calm."
"I wonder if this is instant karma," Jackie said, her shoulders stooped, eyes darting about nervously.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, how we got this car. I know you lied to that man back there. I know it. Your mother doesn't need medication, and now we are being punished."
"Don't blame me," Megan said. "If it hadn't been for me, we wouldn't have gotten the car in the first place."
"And I wouldn't be out in the middle of freakin' nowhere!"
"Look, don't start something you can't finish," Megan said.
"I just can't believe you lied to him."
"Stop it! Okay? Maybe I feel bad about it."
Jackie was sweating. "I doubt it, and that was a nasty thing to do. I mean that was just wrong. He was so nice to you and you just lied to him. And, it's Christmas."
"I said, stop it!" Megan said.
"I thought there was something funny about the way you acted when he shook your hand," Jackie said.
"Jackie, that's enough. Just let it go! While we're arguing we could be passing a house or motel. I don't see anything but this blinding snow."
The wind howled like a wild animal, and snow blew across the road, piling into drifts against the base of trees.
"How far have we gone so far?" Megan asked.
"I don't know. Maybe 40 or 50 miles."
Megan blew out an audible sigh. "I feel like I'm in a snow globe and some crazy kid just keeps shaking it."
"Dramatic," Jackie said.
"Scared," Megan shot back.
Megan thought she saw a sign ahead, caked in snow and leaning precariously to the right, as if a burst of wind would blow it down.
"Jackie, stop! Look. I think there's a sign over there. See it?"
Jackie slowed, saw the sign and stopped. "God, I hope it tells us where we are."
Megan struggled into her coat and gloves and pulled on her hat. She shoved the door open, braced against the wind, and got out. Snow lashed at her face and she turned away, protecting her face with her hand. She trudged through nearly a foot of snow until she reached the sign, illuminated by the car beams. With her right hand, she brushed snow from the sign, little by little, until she was able to read HOLLY and then GROVE 1 MILE. A little black arrow pointed right. Megan looked right, shading her eyes, and peered into the distance. She saw something. She saw the shadow of a covered bridge, looming out in the blur of snow. That must be it. The town was across the bridge. Energized, she whirled, stomped back to the car and got in.
She was breathing rapidly. "It's wild out there," she said, shivering. "There's a bridge just ahead. Holly Grove is about a mile away."
"Sounds quaint," Jackie said. "I hope they have a motel and an all-night restaurant."
Jackie drove toward the bridge, the narrow road to the bridge looking dark and foreboding.
"Wait a minute, Jackie."
Jackie paused before making the turn. "What's the matter?" she asked.
"I don't know. I just hate to leave the main road."
"Megan, across that bridge is a town. We have passed absolutely nothing on this 'so-called' main road. Please, let's just get across the bridge and spend the night in Holly Grove."
Megan nodded, still reluctant.
Jackie made the turn. But at the threshold of the bridge, Megan called out again.
Jackie hit the brakes again, irritated. "Megan, what?"
Megan stared at the bridge. It wasn't a large bridge, probably no more than 90 feet across a rocky stream, but something gnawed away at her, some ineffable feeling of danger that she couldn't put her finger on.
"Megan?" Jackie said, seeing a far-away look in Megan's eyes. "What are we waiting for?"
"Okay, okay...It's just that..."
"Forget it."
Jackie nudged the car forward and it rattled across the bridge. The two girls held their breath in the cave-like interior, darkness swallowing them, the wind screaming through the cracks all around them.
When they finally exited on the other side, they released trapped air from their lungs.
"Wow, that gave me the creeps," Megan said.
Jackie looked about uneasily. "What a freaky night this is."
They passed through a gray and white shroud of blowing snow. Suddenly, as if a curtain were being drawn from both sides of a stage, a gust of wind passed over the car and blew the snow away.
Jackie stopped the car. The girls looked at each other, then blinked around in astonished wonder.
"What happened?" Megan asked.
Jackie was speechless.
There was snow on the ground, but only two or three inches. There was no sound of wind, no blowing snow, just a few gentle flurries. The whispering sound of the windshield wipers was loud in the sudden silence and Jackie switched them off. They sat there, staring. Jackie rolled down the window and felt a cool, intoxicating breeze on her face. She looked up into the sky and saw a few stars and a ghostly near-full moon swimming over the top of a distant shadowy mountain.
Megan opened the door and stepped out, without hat or gloves. She turned in a circle, smelling fresh pine, hearing the splashing stream they'd just crossed. It was quiet, a deep satisfying quiet that relaxed her. She took an easy breath and smiled.
"Jackie... it's beautiful," she said, as she held out her hand to catch a few random snowflakes.
Jackie stepped out. It was still cold, but not a punishing cold. There was a softness in the air. Megan looked at Jackie, her brows raised in query. She shrugged. Jackie shrugged. It was as though they were suddenly watching the world at a slower movie projector speed.
About the author:
Elyse Douglas is the pen name for the husband and wife writing team of Elyse Parmentier and Douglas Pennington. Elyse began writing poems and short stories at an early age, and graduated from Columbia University with a Master's Degree in English Literature. Douglas grew up in a family of musicians, astrologers and avid readers. Some of Elyse Douglas' novels include: The Astrologer's Daughter, Wanting Rita, The Christmas Diary, and The Christmas Town. They currently reside in New York City.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/douglaselyse
Website: http://www.elysedouglas.com/
GoodReads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6433223.Elyse_Douglas
One lucky winner will receive a Kindle copy of The Christmas Town, by Elyse Douglas. This giveaway is open to anyone who can download an Amazon book for Kindle and ends at 11:59 PM EST on Friday, January 3, 2014. Enter through the Rafflecopter form below.
a Rafflecopter giveaway


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Are you considering renting an apartment in the Chicago area? You probably already know many of the reasons why Chicago is known as a world class city, with numerous tourists attractions such as Wrigley Field, a bustling and beautiful lakefront downtown, and a glowing cultural life that can only be described as diverse. However, some of the most interesting things about Chicago are not the most widely known. Below are a few interesting facts about the Windy City that you probably do not already know.
- The Taste of Chicago food festival occurs in Chicago every year. This is known as the world's largest free outdoor food festival. It began in 1980 and takes place in Chicago's Grant Park.
- Other than the Louvre in Paris, Chicago's Art Institute of Chicago is home to the largest collection of impressionist paintings in the world. Chicago is home to a number of other fantastic museums as well.
- There are five hundred and fifty two parks in Chicago, fifteen miles of bathing beaches, over seven thousand restaurants, over two hundred theatres, and thirty six annual parades.
- Some of the first skyscrapers ever built were in Chicago, and it is now home to some of the tallest buildings in the world. From the top of it's tallest building, the Willis Tower, it is possible to see into 4 different states–Illinois, Indiana, Michigan and Wisconsin.
- The Chicago river runs backwards. It once ran into lake Michigan, but due to the construction of canals its flow has since been reversed, so it now flows away from lake Michigan. This is the only river in the world to do so.
- Chicago is home to over one hundred neighborhoods, each with its own unique history and style.
- An average of thirty-five million tourists visit Chicago every year. Thirty-five million people can't be wrong; Chicago is simply a great place to be!
Ready to move to Chicago? Contact Realty Mortgage Co. today to rent the apartment of your dreams!


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All information is kept strictly confidential. LVT will not release your name or the information received unless it is required by law or you give your permission. Please read this page to learn about our privacy practices.
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Last modified: May 2, 2006.


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Obamacare Numbers Dismally Low
The numbers are in, and they're just as low as predicted: The Obama administration announced Wednesday that just over 106,000 Americans signed up for healthcare through the new healthcare exchanges in their first month. Just under 400,000 additional Americans found out that they're eligible for medicare, but the numbers still fall far below target goals. The news comes amidst calls by Democrats to sidestep a signature Obamacare provision, requiring all insurance plans to conform to the same minimum standards. Now, even Democrats offering proposals that would allow Americans who are losing their insurance under Obamacare to be able to keep it.
To make things worse for President Barack Obama, only one fourth of the enrollments happened through the Healthcare.gov, the federally-run website that is being used by residents of 36 states to sign up for health insurance. That's not really surprising, considering that the website was slow to rise to the challenge. On the first day the healthcare exchanges launched, Healthcare.gov was plagued by so many problems that it was practically impossible to sign up. Eventually, it was revealed that the website for the federal heath insurance marketplace had failed an earlier test drive with just hundreds of users. This resulted in calls for accountability and congressional hearings on the matter, while the White House insisted that President Barack Obama was not aware of the website's failures until Oct. 1.
But, though signup numbers are low, officials estimate that over a million people have completed the application process, and have seen what plans are available to them. "Even with the issues we've had, the marketplace is working and people are enrolling," Secretary of Health and Human Services Kathleen Sebelius said. "As more people shop and talk things over with their families, we expect these numbers to rise."
And its not all bad news. More than 35,000 Californians used the state's website to select a health insurance plan. (If you're keeping count, that's a third of all health insurance plan purchasers, and more than all the people who used the federal website combined in 36 states.) The people behind Healthcare.gov say the website can now handle 17,000 new users an hour, in addition to having shorter response times.
Officials have also said a final deadline for the website to be fully operational: Nov. 30, two months after its launch date. "The team is working very hard," said Todd Park, Obama's chief technology officer.
Maybe a decade from now, we'll look back at Obamacare as the first major step in reforming our healthcare system. But, with each passing day, it becomes harder and harder to forgive the massive failure that was the Healthcare.gov launch.
Image via Tumblr.


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Photo: Becky Luigart-Stayner; Styling: Lindsey Ellis Beatty
How to Make It
Step 1
Combine 1 1/2 gallons water and first 7 ingredients in a large Dutch oven, stirring well. Bring to a boil. Add shrimp, and cook over high heat 3 minutes or just until shrimp turn pink; drain.
Step 2
Place shrimp immediately in a single layer over ice on a rimmed baking sheet. Let cool 5 minutes. Remove shrimp with tongs to a bowl; cover and chill.
LuLu's at Homeport Marina, Gulf Shores, Alabama


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I don't believe I've mentioned it here, but I am joining up with Laura Emily's Apothecary Circle that starts TOMORROW! It is a yearlong course in which you can earn a Certificate of Home Apothecary upon completion. Here's how she introduces it >
"The Apothecary Circle isn't for the casual organic herbal loving lass, although she might love joining in as well! This yearlong course is designed for the woman who wants to step into the role of being a healer within her home and community. It is designed for the woman who wants to return to earth medicine, holistic living, and abundant health."
Intrigued? Read lots more about what it all will entail, and join us! Today is the very last day to sign up, and I very much encourage you do so. Laura Emily has a beautiful spirit which she shares through her writing, and there are over 200 women taking part in this course. I can't wait to get started!
On a bummer note, I lost my phone yesterday. I am disappointed that a nefarious soul was the one to find it instead of a good samaritan who would return such a thing, but really, it just reminds me to be grateful. It is just a Thing. An item which I don't really have the money to replace, but a Thing nonetheless. All of my friends, family, and furry critters are safe and well, which is more than too many people can say, and more than money can buy.
Have a lovely Thursday!
shanti >> sondra
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The Malpass Brothers Make The Old New Again
The story goes that The Malpass Brothers were discovered by Merle Haggard after they played an opening gig for him in North Carolina. "Well they remind me a lot of myself and people that I knew when I was young," says Merle. "They have their hearts into what we call 'traditional' country music. It's valuable to me that we cultivate young talent for that kind of music."


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Honeycup Uniquely Sharp Stone Ground Mustard - 8oz
Item# A2DJ001
Product Actions
Additional Information
Honeycup is the pioneer of the Honey Mustard category and a must for everyone's pantry. For over 25 years, Honeycup has been providing consumers a uniquely sharp flavor and smooth texture, consistently delivering premium quality. A delicious balance of sweet, sour and spicy, use Honeycup Uniquely Sharp and Stone Ground mustards in dressings and marinades, on sandwiches, as a condiment for grilled meats and roast chicken.


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I love serving as the Director of Student Ministries at Watermark Dallas! It was at Watermark that I met my wife, Alli, and we are so grateful to be raising our children, Chapman, Cole, and Annabel, within this body of believers.
I am originally from Bartlesville, Oklahoma and I studied at Texas A&M University. I was born in April of 1979 and was born again in July of 1989. I have been discipled through K-Life Ministries, Pine Cove Camps, Breakaway Ministries, and of course many of the ministries right here at Watermark. As a leader in the High School Ministry, I am eager to continue to be transformed by Christ and to serve others and give back all that I've been given.


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The recent US ban on laptops and tablets electronic devices from carry-on luggage from flights from 10 Middle Eastern Airports, and a more limited UK ban, have been widely condemned by the aviation press and the airline industry as arbitrary, ineffective and counterproductive. There is no factual basis for the airports selected, the UK list differs from the US, and the bans can be evaded by taking a connecting flight from elsewhere.[1]
These issues raise a more fundamental question: Does the enormous cost and burden imposed upon the airlines and the traveling public by the all-encompassing TSA airport security regime provide any real benefit?
While it seems unimaginable today, air terminals were once popular places of entertainment where the public enjoyed watching airplanes. Observation decks were a source of airport revenue. Passengers and non-passengers had free access to boarding areas. Change began in the 1960s with the onset of airline hijackings to Cuba, and passage of the Hijacking Act of 1961. The first metal detectors were installed in 1969. By 1973 the FAA required all passengers to undergo metal detector screening and search of carry-on items. These measures changed little during the 1980s and 1990s.[2]
Matters changed radically after 9/11. Congress reacted to the national tragedy by passing the Aviation and Transportation Security Act of 2001, creating the TSA and giving it full responsibility for and power to enforce airport security in the United States.
The TSA reacted to each perceived new threat with further restrictions and requirements. After the failed attempt of shoe bomber Richard Reid to detonate explosives hidden in his shoes in December, 2001, all passengers were required to remove their shoes for examination. A 2006 plot in Britain involving liquid explosives caused passengers to be forbidden to bring "liquids" (which TSA defined very broadly) on board, and later permitted liquids only in less than three ounce quantities. In 2009 "underwear bomber" Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab led to highly intrusive full body scanning imagery and physical pat-downs (which were later partially relaxed in response to public resistance).
The arbitrary nature of many TSA procedures, and the modifications made to them to mollify public outcry, suggests that they add little real value. In tests they regularly fail to detect simulated threats.[3]
The costs of the current airport security program are substantial. The direct cost of TSA operations exceeds $7 billion annually, and researchers have concluded that the indirect costs to the public and the airlines are far greater. A 2012 RAND Corporation study concluded that security makes the aviation system more difficult to use and reduces its usefulness.[4] "The fact that you have to get to the airport hours before your flight, stand in a very long line to be scanned and generally felt up—that's a massive waste of time and productivity for everyone, for apparently no benefit at all, other than the security theater."[5]
Today the probability of another 9/11-type conspiracy is low. And 9/11 was an intelligence failure, not a security failure. None of the 9/11 hijackers should have reached an airport that day. There has not been a single attempt to hijack or damage a U.S. domestic airline flight in the years since 9/11. The 2001 and 2009 attempts on international flights were foiled by passengers who overcame and subdued the perpetrators. Defenders of the current system may argue that it deters such attempts, but there is scant evidence to support this.
Assuming some actual threat to domestic air travel, a better response might be to substitute an effective sky marshal program for the existing TSA infrastructure. The effectiveness of the current program has been questioned, but it only claims to cover 5% to 10% of airline flights, at an annual cost in excess of $700 million over and above the airport security program.[6] These figures suggest that full coverage could be achieved for approximately the same cost as the airport program.
Having professionals trained and authorized to use deadly force on every flight would be a powerful deterrent, and an effective counter, to any actual threat. They could also better handle air rage incidents and unruly passengers in flight. And doing so could end the massive current collateral cost and burden upon air travelers and the airline industry.
Whether or not this is the best solution, it is time to reconsider the airport security regime adopted 15 years ago in response to 9/11.
For more information about Husch Blackwell's Aviation practice, click here.
[1] See, e.g., Jens Flottau, "Flawed Decision," Aviation Week & Space Technology, April 3 – 16, 2017, p. 16; Ghim-Lay Yeo, "IATA blasts electronics ban," Flight Global, 28 March 2017, https://www.flightglobal.com/news/articles./iata-blasts-electronics-ban-43565; Karen Walker, "Ban the carry-on ban. And soon," Air Transport World, April 3, 2017, http://atwonline.com/print/blog.ban-carry-ban-and-soon?NL=ATW-04&Issues.
[2] Daniel L. Rust, Landscape of Suspicion: The Transformation of the American Commercial Airport, paper delivered at the Business History Conference, Denver, CO, March 31-April 1, 2017.
[3] E.g., in a 2015 audit of passenger and baggage screening operations, TSA screeners failed to detect prohibited weapons in 67 of 70 tests at airport checkpoints. Rachel Gillett, " 'You're at war': I went inside the new TSA Academy, where officers learn to detect bombs, spot weapons, and find out why failure isn't an option," Business Insider, August 25, 2016, http://www.businessinsider.com/tsa-academy-airport-security-training-2016-8, retrieved August 26, 2016.
[4] Brian A. Jackson, Efficient Aviation Security: Strengthening the Analytic Foundation for Making Air Transportation Security Decisions, RAND Corporation, 2012.
[5] Mike Masnick, "Cost-Benefit Analysis On Why We Should Just Do Away With The TSA Completely," January 2, 2014.
[6] Mark G. Stewart and John Mueller, "Assessing the Risks, Costs and Benefits of United States Aviation Security Measures," Centre for Infrastructure Performance and Reliability Research Report No. 267.04.08, pp. 11 – 12.


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Propaganda in Elections
Have you ever seen a TV commercial portraying a disastrous automobile accident, and then you reminds you to wear your seatbealts?!?! Believe it or not, that's using a technique in propaganda called the fear appeal.
Propaganda is more widespread than people picture. Propaganda is being used for everything from the baby food you feed your child to the TV commercial you laughed at yesterday night.
There are many techniques that a propagandist can use to seduce you. Some of the best known styles in propaganda are Plain Folk, Fear, Name Calling, and Glittering Generality,
In this year's elections, propaganda has played an important role in who was elected. This year's presidential candidates were all millionaires, but they have gone to great lengths to present themselves as ordinary citizens. Bill Clinton eats at Mc Donald's and read a variety of spy novels. Bob Dole presents himself as the "all American boy" from the Heartland. In this two examples the plain folk device is at work.
When either presidential candidates agitates the public's fear of immigration, taxes, or crime and voting for him will reduce the threat he is using the Fear Appeal. By playing on the public's deep-seated fears, practitioners of this technique hopes to redirect the merits of a proposal and towards steps that can be taken to reduce the fear.
Propaganda has had a tremendously powerful role in the history of the world and in our own development. It has stirred both men and women to unprecedented feats and ruined reputations.
What comes to mind when you think of a racist person? I imagine an angry white male with a Ku Kux Klan costume. I rarely think of the other racists, the African-Americans, the Latino-Americans, the Asian-Americans and the rest of whom believe they are the superior race. Why do people as myself picture this image when we think of a racist person? I'll tell you so, it's because we have been "trained" to make the presumption racist...
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text: Wonderful TRADITIONAL with over 5000 sq feet and Panoramic views of the ocean Large open spacious living and family space 2 Fireplaces Two Mater Bedrooms Great Guest bedrooms. A total of 6 and half bathrooms. 3 Fireplaces Spiral staircase and On deck heated pool and Jacuzzi Private boardwalk to a private Ocean beach. It doesn't get better then This!!!!


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I no longer need to maintain abusive relationships. As I continue to grow and heal, I attract those people who love me for who I am. I have no need to deny my feelings, or to disguise my thoughts and beliefs. I will no longer tolerate people who put me down, manipulate me or humiliate me. I am surrounding myself with people who are consistently loving and respectful. I will pursue people with whom I can share myself in totality, with the complete confidence that they are accepting me for myself alone. I have the courage to terminate relationships with people who are overly critical or not accepting of me. My world is populated with self-respecting people who radiate caring respect and consideration back to me. ~ Rokelle Lerner
2 Comments
Whew …… I know, right! Sooooo true! In the great words of John Lennon, "All We/You Need Is Love!"
I will to sand me text to my mail


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That morning we went down for our complimentary Western and Japanese style breakfast. After all the delightful breakfasts I'd just eaten, I'm not gonna lie...it was a little depressing. But, I consoled myself with the memory of yummy french toast.
Next stop, a bus to Haneda airport about an hour and a half away where we had something wonderful waiting for us:
My cousin WENDY!!!
Wendy and her husband are super famous traveling photographers (Blue Lily) who, with their two adorable kids, are currently trotting around the globe taking pictures of people.
And they came to Japan!!!
And they were GOING to come to Misawa.
Yes, I was THIS --> <--CLOSE to having MY FIRST and only visitor.
But alas. The bullet train from Tokyo still isn't running all the way up here. And every flight was completely sold out for weeks. And driving would have taken extra, EXTRA long to get around the detours.
So we had to settle for an hour visit at the airport. Which was awesome, but also sorta heartbreaking.
See, Wendy is not just any cousin. When I moved from Salt Lake to Carlsbad when I was 16, I moved into Wendy's hood. She is a year younger than me so we weren't in the same grade but she graciously welcomed me and shared all her awesome friends. So I had an instant "in". Wendy and I got to be great friends and we still are. She is super funny, and silly, and genuine, and nice, and smart, and it turns out, now she's a great photographer.
(Kelly, your Christmas pictures taken by Wendy, get the most compliments.)
So I was really REALLY excited for Wendy to come so I could show her around up here, and make lots of yummy food for her, and stay up really late gossiping with her every night. Me = :(
Let's take a walk down memory lane with the help of my totally awesome--decade-old--scrapbook pages, shall we?
|We are soooo cute!
|And so weird!
|But mostly we're just awesome.


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Scottish Book Trust has announced , that Glasgow-based children's authors E.B. Colin and Ross Collins have been shortlisted for this year's Scottish Children's Book Awards, celebrating the most popular children's and young adult books by Scottish authors or illustrators.
Run by Scottish Book Trust with support from Creative Scotland, these are Scotland's largest book awards, split into three age categories. Over the next four months, children the length and breadth of Scotland will be reading the three shortlisted books in their age category and voting for their favourite. The three winning books will be announced at a special award ceremony on 4 March 2015.
E.B. Colin is shortlisted in the Younger Readers (8-11 yrs) category for her children's novel, Pyrate's Boy, published by Kelpies, a swashbuckling adventure set on the high seas in 1750 which follows a young lad's experiences on board a pirate ship.
Commenting on her nomination, she said:
"I'm delighted that 'Pyrate's Boy' has been shortlisted. I had a lot of fun writing it, researching all sorts of things from poisonous snakes to Bonnie Prince Charlie. I loved living in 1750 and sailing the High Seas, if only in my imagination, and hope that lots of other readers will too."
Ross Collins is shortlisted in the Bookbug Reader's category for the illustrations in picture book Robot Rumpus, written by Sean Taylor. Ross is the author and illustrator of numerous picture books, and is a previous winner of a 2008 Scottish Children's Book Award for Billy Monster's Daymare.
Commenting on his nomination, Ross said:
"It's wonderful to be shortlisted for the award. To know that 'Robot Rumpus' will be in the sticky hands of so many Scottish children is a lovely feeling and an award that is voted for by the readers themselves is worth so much more."
Bookbug Readers (3-7 years)
- Princess Penelope and the Runaway Kitten by Alison Murray (Nosy Crow)
- Robot Rumpus by Sean Taylor, illustrated by Ross Collins (Andersen Press)
- Lost for Words by Natalie Russell (Macmillan)
Younger Readers (8-11 years)
- Precious and the Mystery of the Missing Lion by Alexander McCall Smith (Birlinn)
- Attack of the Giant Robot Chickens by Alex McCall (Kelpies)
- Pyrate's Boy by E.B. Colin (Kelpies)
Older Readers (12-16 years)
- Dark Spell by Gill Arbuthnott (Kelpies)
- The Wall by William Sutcliffe (Bloomsbury)
- Mosi's War by Cathy MacPhail (Bloomsbury)
The Scottish Children's Book Awards also encourage budding authors or journalists to put pen to paper: the popular Book Review Competition offers pupils the chance to win book tokens for themselves and an author visit for their school.
Budding film makers can enter the Book Trailer competition to entice their peers to read the books too and win book tokens for their school. Scottish Book Trust provides extensive learning resources for teachers on how to create book trailers.
To find out more about the shortlisted books or the competitions visit www.scottishbooktrust.com


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* Administering Health, Pension and Vacation Benefits For the Men and Women Who Help Build the Southwest *
Vision benefits are administered through UnitedHealthcare Vision regardless of which Medical plan you enroll with.
UnitedHealthcare Customer Service: (800) 638-3120
UnitedHealthcare Provider Locator: (800) 839-3242 or www.myuhcvision.com
|Exam—Once Every 12 Month
|$10 Copay
Lenses-Per-Pair—Once Every 12 Months
Frames—Once Every 24 Months
|$20 Copay for Materials
Contact Lenses—Once Every 12 Months
|Instead of Frames and Lenses, at the $20 Copay, You May Select Contact Lenses
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Heart of Recovery
ONLINE: https://chicago.shambhala.org/program-details/?id=452366
Sundays | 10:30am – 12:00pm
West Loop (Main Center)
"Sobriety is finding a new way of living that involves engagement where there was withdrawal; generosity where there was self-centeredness; community where there was isolation; joy where there was bitterness; trust where there was cynicism."
– Kevin Griffin, One Breath at a Time: Buddhism and the Twelve Steps
The Heart of Recovery is a group meeting at the Shambhala Center focused on sharing support while bringing together contemplative practice and a commitment to sobriety. Newcomers will learn basic meditation techniques to enhance, not replace, their own recovery program in a familiar and comfortable environment. Experienced meditators will discover new ways to deepen their current practice while supporting the group.
Meeting format includes:
• sitting practice
• a topic offering in the form of brief comments or a reading by the facilitator
• discussion and exploration by group members
• sharing our personal experience, strength, and hope
• dedication of merit
Open to all who are:
• Buddhist practitioners from any tradition, or
• from any 12 step or other recovery program, or
• individuals interested in exploring the relationship of meditation to recovery from addiction and addictive behaviors
Free meditation instruction is available during all of these times
Meditation Instructors and/or Shambhala guides are available to meet with newcomers or anyone else wanting guidance with their meditation practice. Cushions, benches and chairs are supplied; you do not need to bring anything.
Questions about Heart of Recovery?
Contact: [email protected]


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Champaign, IL
Sponsored Topics
Champaign is a city in Champaign County, Illinois, in the United States. The city is located 135 miles (217 km) south of Chicago, 124 miles (200 km) west of Indianapolis, Indiana, and 178 miles (286 km) northeast of St. Louis, Missouri. Though surrounded by farm communities, Champaign is notable for sharing the campus of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign with its sister city of Urbana. Thanks to the university and a number of well known technology startup companies, it is often referred to as the hub, or at least a significant landmark, of the Silicon Prairie. Champaign is also the home of Parkland College. Champaign houses offices for seven Fortune 500 companies, and two more are planned to arrive soon[citation needed].
As reported in the 2010 U.S. Census, the city was home to 81,055 people. Champaign is the 11th-most populous city in Illinois, and the fourth-most populous city in the state outside of the Chicago Metropolitan Area.
Champaign was founded in 1855, when the Illinois Central Railroad laid its rail track two miles (3 km) west of downtown Urbana. Originally called "West Urbana", it was renamed Champaign when it acquired a city charter in 1860. Both the city and county name were derived from Champaign County, Ohio.


text: Home Fries 8 Posted August 5, 2012 Report Share Posted August 5, 2012 After a lot of hard work and constraints on my free time, I have finally released the EA-6B Prowler Superpack for the Strike Fighters 2 series. The EA-6B superpack includes six prowler variants, from the original EA-6B that flew in the late Vietnam War all the way to the ICAP III model, which is the most current variant. The EA-6B Superpack is an add-on to the A-6 Superpack, and requires that version 1.51 of the A-6 Superpack (also just released) be installed. Here are some screenshots to tie you over: Here's an original EA-6B (circa 1971) from the VAQ-132 Scorpions. VAQ-131 and VAQ-132 were the first squadrons to get the Prowler, and both squadrons participated in Linebacker II near the end of the Vietnam War. The EXpanded CAPability (EXCAP) Prowler followed in 1973. Here are a couple of shots of EXCAP birds from VAQ-133: You'll notice the cross on the radome on the picture above. The prowlers were marked on the nose so that the Landing Signal Officers (LSOs) on the carrier could visually differentiate the Prowler from its lighter Intruder cousin. People are most familiar with the radiation logo on the radome of the Prowler. The radar isn't any more dangerous than the Intruder radar; this is just the same type of visual marking. The above pic is also an EXCAP bird, albeit one that remained operational in 1981 when the Navy switched over to low visibility color schemes. The following pic is another example of the original LV paint scheme, which was replaced in 1983 by the Ghost Grey schemes we have today. And of course, a ghost grey scheme. This is another Prowler from VAQ-132, although much more modern (ICAP II Block 86/89) than the previous pics. Notably, the Improved CAPability (ICAP) was the first time the U.S. Marine Corps started flying the prowler (the EA-6A Electric Intruder was their EW platform of choice until then). Here's an ICAP bird from the VMAQ-2 Playboys (renamed the Death Jesters in the 90s when the Playboy Bunny was considered too politically incorrect for people whose job it is to kill other people and break their things). The ICAP I was followed in 1984 by the ICAP II Block 82, which was a major upgrade in the EW suite and also allowed the Prowler to carry the AGM-88 HARM series of missiles. The ICAP II Block 86/89 further increased the jamming capability of the Prowler. Here's a pic of a Prowler from VAQ-139. Finally, the ICAP III was put out to the Fleet in 2003, and I saved the CAG and Show birds for last. All of the following pics are of ICAP III birds (though to clarify, not all ICAP IIIs are CAG birds, and CAG birds also exist for earlier variants as well). VAQ-135 VAQ-140 (my old favorite) VMAQ-1 (my new favorite) The EA-6B Superpack requires Strike Fighters 2: North Atlantic. The A-6 Superpack and the EA-6B Superpack are both available for download at Combat Ace. Quote Link to post Share on other sites