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This article was originally posted on Inside CXM.
At the Olympics, if you start before the gun sounds, you're penalized and all the participants start again. Do it again and you get disqualified.
But in business your customer care team should always jump the gun. In fact, if you wait until the deal is closed you lose.
There are two schools of thought regarding the "right time" to start customer care. The one to which you subscribe says a lot to customers about the kind of company you are and the type of experience they should expect.
In one school (let's call it the "old school"), conventional wisdom dictates that nothing new should be introduced towards the end of a sale that could jeopardize the deal. Telling your customer about the care organization early implies that your products are untrustworthy, unreliable, and will break.
In the other school (let's call it the "school of enlightenment"), the company acknowledges the elephant in the room (sometimes things go wrong) and provides a solution in advance to address just such a possibility.
To illustrate, here's a common example. Think about the last time you were waiting for your car to be serviced at the dealership. I bet it wasn't long before a salesperson walked through, prospective buyer in tow, giving a tour of the service department. This savvy salesperson had already established the need for the car and addressed most of the cost/budgetary issues so why would they tour the service department now? Maybe they were killing time while the manager was "considering" the deal?
If you studied at the old school such a tour would never occur because the salesperson wouldn't want to open up the specter of car troubles. Graduates of the old school would wring their hands and cry, "This sales person isn't killing time but they are killing the deal!" In the old school, companies would feel that the very act of acknowledging a service department was an admission of inferiority.
Meanwhile, students at the school of enlightenment would encourage the tour. They would want to show off their clean facilities, friendly staff and capable mechanics to give the buyer confidence and peace of mind. At the school of enlightenment, jumping the gun means introducing the care team early as a way to accelerate the deal.
Apply the approach of the school of enlightenment to a business-to-business (B2B) transaction. In this case it becomes clear that the salesperson is establishing trust and reducing the buyer's risk. Often in B2B sales situations the buyer perceives a high level of risk just before the purchase. That perception may occur because the buyer fears they didn't ask the right questions, or their reputation in the company is at stake, or the implementation may fail, or a myriad of other reasons. If the risk is high enough, the deal may not materialize. But by starting ahead of the gun, by addressing future potentialities before they arise, you mitigate risk as a reason to delay deal closure. (See diagram below and refer to Michael Bosworth's concepts on customer-centric selling.)
Not only will deals close faster, but by introducing the care team early, you also help establish a relationship between buyer and company at the best possible time – before problems occur.
Trusted relationships don't happen spontaneously; they evolve over time. Strong relationships are unlikely to develop if the parties interact for the first time during high stress events. By introducing people to one another early they can begin to forge the bonds required when times are tough. (I recommend Stephen Covey's excellent book "The Speed of Trust.")
Consider a previous old school customer experience. You requested help and were immediately asked "who" and "what." The care team knew nothing about you or your situation. Furthermore, these seemingly basic questions eroded your confidence in the assistance. This is the worst time to have a first introduction and impression. How could that experience have been different if customers knew the care team already and had already worked together on a project? By jumping the starter's gun your care team can lay the foundation for a valuable relationship.
So, what are you waiting for? Take what you've learned at the school of enlightenment, line up in the blocks, jump the gun and sprint ahead of the competition to accelerate deal closures and improve your customer relationships.


text: The Tactical Beard Owners Club meets their members the second time on IWA at the 5.11 booth this year. Special guest for 2013 was "Kyle Lamp" of Viking Tactics. If you want to be a member of this famous club, visit them at their facebook page for their admission points!

subset: commoncrawl


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Buenos Aires is a dynamic cosmopolitan city boasting some of the best shopping in South America. With lower price tags than many of its European counterparts, each of the neighborhoods in Buenos Aires offers a large variety of boutiques, galleries, and antique shops. You will find everything you are looking for and more in the style-obsessed capital of Argentina, from hole-in-the-wall stores to ritzy brand name shops.
Recoleta, featuring many upscale stores, is the city's most expensive neighborhood with many shops offering European made goods. The Recoleta district is home to many shopping venues that will delight even the most discriminative shoppers on a Buenos Aires tour: a lively handicraft market held on the weekend in Recoleta Plaza Francia; Patio Bullrich, a trendy shopping center standing across the luxurious Caesar Hotel Park; and the upscale Buenos Aires Design shopping mall, entirely devoted to interior decorating.
San Telmo boasts a great flea market on the weekend as well as one of the best antique fairs in the world, Feria de Antiguedades de San Telmo, held in the Plaza Dorrego every Sunday from 10 am to 5 pm. Many of the older homes in the neighborhood have been turned into charming antique shops displaying unique items.
Avenue Florida, the biggest shopping street in Buenos Aires, runs across El Centro, the city's bustling downtown area. Both sides of this pleasant pedestrian street are lined with stores selling clothing, sporting goods, electronics, and leather goods. On the corner of Florida and Cordoba is a beautiful, upscale, multi-level shopping center called Galerias Pacifico. If your credit card needs a break during your shopping frenzy, grab a drink at a café in Avenue Santa Fe, another main shopping road in El Centro.
If you are looking for creative treasures that can be found nowhere else, travel to the lovely Palermo district. The Paseo Alcorta shopping center features chic clothing stores, as well as a movie theatre. However, it has been somewhat upstaged by the striking Alto Palermo Shopping Mall, with its mirror-like exterior reflecting the buildings on Avenue Santa Fe and Coronel Diaz Street, and its award-winning architectural design.
The beautiful mall in Buenos Aires, Abasto de Buenos Aires, awaits you for a unique shopping experience. Formerly a wholesale fruit and vegetable market, it has served as a shopping mall since 1999. This impressive four-level historic building features ample stores, a 12-screen movie theatre, an indoor amusement park for children, and a food court.
Every weekend, the posh Manuel Belgrano square transforms into a chic flea market when talented craftsmen establish their stalls displaying everything from alpaca fur rugs to wooden toys. Still craving more handicrafts? Then check out Feria de Mataderos, where the authentic gaucho atmosphere makes it well worth the trek to western Buenos Aires. If you are lucky, you might get the chance to watch traditional dance performances and real-life gauchos wearing woolen berets, scarves, and baggy pants, with their horse in tow. For a weeklong market, head to the colorful neighborhood of La Boca where Vuelta de Rocha Handicrafts Market (Caminito) has handicrafts, and beautiful paintings.
Leather goods are always plentiful in Buenos Aires, and don't forget to keep an eye out for traditional ponchos, boleadoras (gaucho lassos), alpaca products, precious stones, and wood carvings. You will without a doubt find enough clothing and trinkets to fill an extra suitcase or two in this fashionable city.
For Buenos Aires vacation packages tailored to your interests, contact a travel advisor who can help you customize an exciting vacation.
Born and raised in small town Michigan, Melissa began traveling at 15 and hasn't stopped since. After calling Havana and Paris her temporary homes, she moved to Lima in 2018. Since then, she has traveled extensively in Peru and across the continent to Argentina, Brazil, Chile, Ecuador and the Galapagos Islands. She loves trying new foods, learning about history, and chasing waterfalls.


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The March That Never Was
April 5, 2018
On March 14, the majority of Thornton-Donovan School's student body met outside to protest gun violence and honor the 17 students who lost their lives in the Stoneman Douglas High School shooting.
"The walkout showed that students at T-D have a fighting spirit, and they deserve further outlines for expression, even those pertaining to issues specific to our school," said sophomore Jordan Mallach.
However, this is a positive spin. In reality, when asked by multiple teachers, friends, and parents how the walkout went, there was definitely a huge hesitation before answering. The walkout itself was more of a "walk-around," meaning walking around campus for twelve minutes. Worse, speeches were rushed and cut off before we hit the seventeen-minute mark. Honestly, I'm disappointed with how we handled the subject matter and the walkout itself.
"They should have given us at least a period to do this properly. We would have walked out of T-D and then we could come back and have students speak up," freshman Mila Mabhongo said.
Participating in huge movements like March for Our Lives and the National School Walkouts should be something I should be proud of, not embarrassed by. It is not a privilege to protest, it's a right and I'm not sure if that was clear.
"T-D's walkout definitely could have been organized in a way that would have given more effective message. For one, I think many can agree that it wasn't a walkout, as nobody left the inside of our campus," sophomore Antonea Rufa said. "The bare minimum we could have done was walk the 17 minutes; however, we did not even achieve that. Many schools did much more than walk for 17 minutes, and I definitely think that our school should have done more to commemorate the 17 lives we lost."
Personally, I think we could've done so much better. Could some of the students been more supportive and respective? Yes. Could more have made signs and worn orange? Yes. Those things we, the students, should've done. It's a shame to say some students only participated in the walkout to get out of 17 minutes of their second period class and socialize with their friends. While those people complained about being hungry and bored, the students who were one hundred percent dedicated to marching and standing up for the greater good weren't able to fully enjoy the walkout and its purpose.
But could administration let us walk for the full seventeen minutes? Yes. By walking for only 12 minutes, are we placing a higher value on those 12 lives over the remaining five lives that we didn't walk for? It seems like it. Was getting back to homeroom and then second period more important than addressing this serious, real topic that is scary and should be mentioned? No. I was back in homeroom by 10:17, and back in second period by 10:18, not 10:20 like planned in the memo. The walkout was treated as if it was a privilege over a right. It felt as if the school was doing the students a favor by letting them participate.
With a serious movement like this, students need support from their teachers and school, which is something we only got from a select few teachers. I can only hope that for April 20th's walkout, held on the 20th anniversary of the Columbine High School shooting, we are more organized and committed, and that we gain more support from the school.


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Model, Amber Rose, and Rapper, Wiz Khalifa, have been married since 2013. Wiz Khalifa is known for many hit songs that have played on the airwaves. Many Massachusetts fans may have learned recently that the couple is getting a divorce. Amber Rose is asking for full custody of their 19-month-old son.
The couple has only been married since last summer but has decided to end their marriage. On a recent Monday, divorce papers were filed that stated that there were irreconcilable differences. Rose has recently obtained representation by NCredible Entertainment, which is a management company owned by Nick Cannon.
In the recent weeks, Rose had wished Khalifa a happy birthday on his Instagram, posting a photo of the two together. She reportedly placed a caption saying that she will love him forever and hopes that he has an amazing year. A representative for Khalifa did not have any comments on the divorce, and Amber Rose's manager was not available.
Divorce is no easy task, especially when children are involved. It is not known if the matter of custody is being contested, but if so, there could be a long battle ahead for the couple. Often, when divorcing spouses cannot agree on their issues, they may sit down with a third-party mediator before entering the courtroom. However, if mediation has not resolved issues for spouses, then litigation may be necessary in a Massachusetts family courtroom. It is important to remember that judges mostly determine custody based on the best interests of the child and not based on what each parent wants.
Source: people.com, "Amber Rose Is Divorcing Wiz Khalifa", Michele Corriston, Sept. 24, 2014


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The name Cluster was chosen because of the way the four spacecraft fly in a group around Earth. When studies demonstrated that it would be possible to reuse some parts and to fly four spacecraft almost identical to those lost in the first launch, the replacement mission was initially named Cluster II, but now it is generally referred to as Cluster. Flying in a tetrahedral (triangular pyramid) formation, the four spacecraft are collecting the most detailed data yet on small-scale changes in near-Earth space, and the interaction between the charged particles of the solar wind and Earth's atmosphere. These enable scientists to build a three-dimensional model of the magnetosphere and to better understand the processes taking place inside it.
|2.9 m
|1.3 m
|1200 kg
|(of which) Propellant
|650 kg
|(of which) Scientific payload
|71 kg
|Spin rate
|15 rpm
|Launch date
16 July, 9 August 2000
2 spacecraft per launch
|Operational lifetime
2 years (nominal)
extended to 2005, then to 2009, and then 2012
Cluster rounds Earth in an elliptical polar orbit. The closest it comes to Earth is a few hundred kilometres. The furthest is 125 000 km. The time to complete a single orbit is 54 hours 35 minutes.
Each of the four spacecraft carries an identical set of 11 instruments to investigate charged particles, electrical and magnetic fields. These were built by European and American instrument teams led by Principal Investigators.
Spacecraft operations centre: European Space Operations Centre (ESOC), Germany.
Ground stations: Villafranca and Maspalomas, Spain; Perth, Australia; Panska Ves, Czech Republic; along with NASA DSN and other ESA ESTRACK stations.
Science operations centre: Joint Science Operations Centre at the Rutherford Appleton Laboratory, Didcot, UK.


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The Sneaky Little European Tax That's Robbing U.S. Businesses Blind
Once they get to their destination, international travelers are often treated to an even wider array of discounts, as many tourist-oriented shops use tax refunds as a selling point. By showing their international customers how to apply for their tax refunds at the airport, these stores are able to offer what amounts to an almost-instant rebate.
However, while individual tourists may get help navigating the confusing world of tax refunds, international businesses are often left on their own. In fact, according to a recent study by the OECD Centre for Tax Policy and Administration, almost 72% of companies that spend money overseas have had a difficult time getting refunds on their value-added tax (VAT). In fact, 21% aren't able to reclaim any of their VAT.
Under the circumstances, EU member countries are not inclined to make refunds easy. Each has its own set of confusing, Byzantine VAT rules that make it hard to seek refunds. For Americans, who often aren't prepared to deal with VAT, the bureaucratic red tape and accounting costs are often more trouble than they're worth. On the other hand, the 20% increase in the bottom line can discourage investment in Europe.
While it's hard to pick the best country for being cooperative with businesses on VAT, Lang notes that the worst one is definitely Italy. "Most countries take four to six months to process and return VAT," Lang notes. "In Italy, it can easily take a year and a half." For companies that must wait to get their money back, Italy's 20% VAT tax is essentially an interest-free loan that they extend to the Mediterranean country. For those that give up on retrieving the money, it's a gift to government in Rome. A great deal for Italy in the short term, the outrageous VAT delay may ultimately have the effect of discouraging international investment -- especially for companies whose budgets are already stretched tight.
Bruce Watson is a senior features writer for DailyFinance. You can reach him by e-mail at email@example.com, or follow him on Twitter at @bruce1971.


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Do not deny what comes up with your reaction. Reactions aren't all bad--as some distorted spiritual teachings claim them to be. There are times when they show us where we can no longer accept certain behavior or treatment from another.
Nowadays, many of us are turning towards spirituality and ancient wisdom teachings to enhance our lives and look deeper within. We may have realized that conventional ways are not working so well anymore. Please be aware that it is actually important to learn to engage safely in spiritual practice...who knew?! This way of living should be approached in a balanced way where we can discern what is right for us and what does not serve us.
For the most part, the teachings and teachers are not questioned. Instead they are revered and followed very devoutly. Although it may be seen as "unspiritual" to some, these teachings have to be reviewed or questioned just like anything else. Don't get me wrong...there are many gifts wrapped in these ancient teachings. There are also many ways that, if practiced to an extreme, these teachings can put you into danger; especially if you are in a vulnerable state or have endured trauma in your life.
What is lacking in many spiritual communities is a healthy balance between respecting our humanness and connecting with our spirit. We need not abandon one for the other. Some people who seek out spirituality are lacking in psychological and emotional awareness, causing them to use the teachings to bypass their humanness in the name of "ego transcendence." I hate to tell you...but we are stuck with our egos...they are not going anywhere anytime soon!
The ego-mind likes to think and act on our behalf, therefore; it has its own agenda and wants to protect us from our past experiences even though they are not happening in the present. This is understandable and we have to remember that our egos try their best (although limited in their approaches) when they perceive danger in our current environment. Your ego is not "bad" and should not be gotten rid of. Our egos, in fact, allow us to think critically, solve problems, understand interactions, make decisions, discern right from wrong, analyze data and sort through information. If you deny your ego entirely, the workings of your mind can become partially disabled and you may be unable to perform these tasks in any balanced way because you won't trust your own thoughts and actions. This can be very dangerous!
Even some spiritual teachers, who boast of this transcendence, have the biggest and most destructive egos of all, and ironically, this is all playing out unconsciously...without them even noticing. Or sometimes they are very well aware and simply on a power high. If a teacher is denying the existence of their ego (or thoughts/behaviors/patterns) in an effort to keep their spiritual image, they are also denying their "dark-side". These parts that are being rejected subconsciously come up and control their life through unconscious behaviors and repeating patterns; even harming others around them who trust them and are wanting to be of service and give of their hearts. Certain spiritual teachers, caught up in their own egos and unconsciously denying their "darkness", steer us away from expressing a reaction in any way and so we may not recognize the important messages for us that often come along with them.
Let's talk about "reactions" and the shame that often comes up when daring to allow yourself to actually have them. Overly spiritual people might say that the reaction is just "resistance" to "what is" and that you should "accept things the way they are". In the case that you are unable to accept "what is", for any variety of reasons (or are unable to take the spiritual route and you do have a reaction) you may feel shame because you have not practiced the teachings in the best way possible. Or maybe you think that you are not worthy of this spiritual practice because you aren't doing it right and are getting away from your intention.
Sometimes, it is just not complete to say that you are just in resistance or that you should accept things as they are. There is more for us to see here. In cases of abuse or manipulation, why should we just accept what is? Maybe we should not. Maybe we should speak out for what is right or say those facts that someone who is abusive wouldn't want to get out. Actually, I think that is exactly what we should do. Because whatever abuse or dysfunction is going on is enabled by us being quiet or just accepting it. The cycle will continue if we spiritualize our reaction to these types of dynamics. This is a case where you can use your ego-mind to discern what is right for you to do...but not if someone has convinced you to believe the ego is all bad and should be thrown to the wolves!
Let's say you are overwhelmed by your life circumstances and you feel like you are reaching a breaking point. You may have a reaction. In this case, feeling the emotions strongly enough to get into the reaction may actually be healthy for you in order to make a change.
We are taught that reactions come up from unresolved circumstances, in the form of triggers, from our past. When something irritates or angers us, we should:
I agree with this teaching in principle and it has been beneficial to me--increasing my capacity in many areas. However, if you are in an abusive situation, or are constantly pushed too far over your edge of comfort, this teaching can be practiced in a distorted way.
In a spiritual community, we learn that once we have dropped the energy behind the reaction (calmed down) and have the ability to respond...then we can approach the person who triggered us. That is a good plan...except that, at this point, we may have prematurely forgotten about the impact of the abusive person or forgiven them for their actions, even if it was not a forgivable thing that they did. Yes, I said it...some things are unforgivable!
If we spiritualize everything and live in some ethereal realm floating above ourselves, completely detached from our humanness, then we may allow people to treat us in many ways that are not healthy, not conducive to our growth, or even keep us in cycles of trauma. We could be spiritually bypassing our reaction and denying our own feelings about it in an effort to "let go of", "relax with", or even "surrender to" it. What we are actually doing, in many cases, is suppressing the reaction. Beware, what you may be "surrendering" to is abuse!
Let's talk about the messages that accompany reactions.
Maybe you are in a circumstance where you are under a lot of pressure at work and your partner isn't very supportive (seems to be a common example these days). So, something sets you off and you "flip out" and start screaming at them about how you can't do this anymore and then realize that you have to make a big change--that is probably accurate. And yet, if you are trying to follow extreme spiritual teachings on reactions then you may think you should just drop it or let it go and wait until you drop the energetic charge and can respond. Here, you stay with the partner; you stay at the job.
This is an alternative: when you lose your temper, allow your reaction to reveal to you that you have to make a big change. Look at it. Investigate: what is it trying to tell you? Question it...let it be there. Be with it. Don't be afraid...this takes courage.
You know, if you "breathe" enough with it (especially many different times with the same trigger) and it passes, you may just conclude that you are in a reaction based on your "past programming" and you were wrong to think those things. Or maybe you can respond instead when you drop the energetic charge. By that time, you have probably talked yourself out of what you know you need to do...once again. This breathing and acceptance may happen again and again with you believing it is your own internal work to do; giving the other person a pass.
Of course, others shouldn't be continuously subjected to your reactions. There are ways to express them--or you can learn to listen to yourself before they become so forceful. You should note: if they come up often, you need to take action or you may stay complacent under terrible conditions.
So, what if this big blast of energy in the form of a reaction is informing you that you are to make a change? Oftentimes, it is. Don't throw out the information it gave you just because it came up the way it did. Don't walk out of alignment with yourself, your body, and what you know you must do. Yes, by all means you can wait to calm down before you respond, but don't miss the point! Use your reaction to empower yourself to see the truth of the matter. Reach a place where you are not overtaken by emotions, can act calmly, and discern what is appropriate for you.
Allow taking care of yourself and feeling safe to be your biggest priority. Realize that the reaction arrived for a reason. You may constantly be putting yourself over your edge where you will face anxiety, depression, rage, and shutdown.
In my experience, this is the core of many episodes of anxiety: knowing you should do something and not following your knowledge and intuition to change something in your life. Instead, you may find yourself discarding this information, not listening to yourself, feeling too much fear to do something different, maybe denying what you feel in your body. And so you avoid making a decision, maybe unknowingly justify another's actions. Sit in what does not serve you. You are crawling in your skin. And you feel awful.
Maybe you KNOW you should get away from your partner who you constantly argue with or leave the abusive job that requires way too much of your energy... and that's what causes you to be very reactive. Instead of believing you are the problem, realize that you need to create a solution-- and follow through with it. Even if it feels unnatural and impossible because it is not your usual pattern--get some support and go with it!
Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. As in, don't ignore the action that came to you--just because it came in the form of a re-ACTION.
You need not over-spiritualize your humanness. The gift of this life is to experience the richness of your human side, both dark and light, as you connect to your spirit--grounded on this earth.
"How am I to know the good side from the bad?"
"You will know, when you are calm. At peace, passive."
―Luke Skywalker and Yoda (Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back)
There's a running joke in my family: "Jamie, what do you do?" My brother first asked it when I moved back from Europe and worked several part time jobs during graduate school. I gigged in coffeehouses for tips, taught a little guitar, picked up some writing and research work, served as a substitute teacher, and I coached speech and debate. Over fifteen years later, I can still get that question. My stepson once asked me, "Jamie, how many jobs do you have? I count eight. Or is it nine?"
Yes, my primary vocation is as a trauma therapist. Yet this work enables me to also work as an educator/trainer, author, advocate, media producer of educational content, mentor of others and leader of a training organization. My interest in holistic healing also drives me to work as an expressive arts therapist, musician, dancer, yoga teacher, and reiki master. And while collectively that's many roles and numerous tasks, they all fuse together in helping me to realize my ultimate vocational purpose—to facilitate transformative experiences for myself and others. At least that's the line I've been testing out in the press bio. Yet if I'm keeping it very real and true to my pop culture nerdiness, I vocationally identify as a Jedi knight. Or perhaps even a Jedi master…
This connection struck me so potently during my second viewing of Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker over the holiday season. So as to not give away too much for those who haven't seen the film, let's just say that the heroine of this generation, Rey, kicks some major ass. And these feats come after her training takes her to a new level of depth and thorough exploration of her own dark side. I am a Jedi knight because I fight for the good of humanity that is represented by the light side of the force. My mission is to paint light in this world, and by doing so, illuminate people's ability to connect with the light of their own true nature. I also teach people not to be afraid of their shadows—the dark side of the force that may lure them or even take root within them. I can do this work because I've met my dark side face-to-face and I am fervently committed to deepening my training.
The Force as we call it in the fictional Star Wars canon is very real indeed. Call it reiki (the movement of life force energy), chi, prana, shakti, nefesh, universal alignment, or the Holy Spirit. You can even see it as the enthusiasm that is generated when people come together for a common cause. We've witnessed that collective power manifest for the dark side (e.g., hate groups of various brands) or for the light side of the force (e.g., charities and advocacy organizations, mutual help movements). We are called to be in attunement with and to work with the life force that dances through us every day. Our training—combined with our motivation—decides where the energy will flow.
There's a yogic teaching which states that energy follows attention. So where we place our mind and our efforts, there our life force will flow. In the tradition I study, we teach that eventually a conscious crossover happens. With enough training and patterning, attention follows energy. In other words, the force will guide us. I've lived through many crossover experiences where my attention could have been pulled either way. Yet enough training in the light side of things has made it more likely that the light will triumph. That's why I am sober. That's why—despite my difficulties—I'm living the most adaptive life that I can. And that's why I relish helping others connect with their light.
Master Yoda is my true role model and teacher as a clinical professional. During my doctoral studies I reconnected with the Star Wars films as an adult and thought, "Why aren't they teaching Jedi in graduate techniques courses?" Indeed, it's the same frustration that I voice about why our graduate training doesn't involve the vast wisdom of yoga (not to be confused with Yoda, yet the similarity is revealing) and Eastern philosophy.
I advised many clients in recovery over the years that they could use Yoda, or the Force itself, as their Higher Power. Yoda's famous teaching, "Do or do not, there is no try," explains why daily practice and routines allow me to dust off and clear my ego enough to connect with the light side of the force. I have a Yoda statue on my altar and puja table at home where I keep other spiritual pictures and statues. That's how much his archetypal wisdom feeds me, clearly inspired by Star Wars creator George Lucas' penchant for Joseph Campbell. Yoda's teaching that "fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering" is the perfect blend of Buddha and 12-step teaching on resentment that I need reminded of on the regular. When I think of Yoda imparting this wisdom to Anakin Skywalker before he became Darth Vader, I'm reminded that I do and will always have the potential to turn. For the Force is one—it's not separate and it's all encompassing. It's the ultimate polarity. How I practice and choose to heal determines where my energy will flow and how it will serve me… and the world.
As Rey proudly declares in The Rise of Skywalker during her fiercest battle, "I am all the Jedi." She is my beacon for realizing the healing possibilities of oneness. So today, and I hope that for all the days of this life, to remain a Jedi knight. My sweet friend James, who geeks out with me about many things, recently called me a Jedi master, and this may have been the greatest compliment I ever received. He challenged me to look at all of the areas in my own life in which I have gained mastery and I'm grateful that today I can see it, even as I train for a greater sense of mastery over the perils of my ego and the lure of the dark side. Moreover, in this life I live I am privileged to be a mentor, teacher, and guide for others in their quest to be led from the darkness to the light. If those thing make me a master, I accept.
May I do Yoda proud in my vocation.
So as my brother might ask, "What do you do?" Share in the comments here in the blog or wherever this gets shared on social media. Go to your favorite movies, books, or art sources for meaningful metaphor or allegory. Let's investigate the marvelous interplay of how people are living their purpose out there in the world. Or, if you believe you have not yet tapped into this purpose, how would you like to identify?
Have fun and go with it…
Photo Credit: Christina Dine
Practicing Ahimsa in EMDR Therapy: Yoga Skills for EMDR Therapists by Anna Schott, MA, MSW, LISW-S, ERYT-200
"Violence is a reaction to fear - a key symptom of the dominance that egoism and ignorance have over mind. Violence is not defined by any destructive act but by the desire to see another harmed. That is why nonviolence includes refraining from harm in thought as well as deed...Perfecting nonviolence requires patience, courage, strength, faith, and deep understanding."
- Inside the Yoga Sutras
"We spend our days badgered by voices that tell us to judge others, fear others, harm others, or harm ourselves. But we are not obligated to listen to those voices, or even to take responsibility for them. They may be where we come from, but they are not where we are going. There is another voice, a voice that shines. Ahimsa is the practice of listening to that voice of lightness, cultivating that voice, trusting that voice, acting upon that voice."
- Rolf Gates, Meditations from the Mat
Practicing ahimsa, non-harming, is intrinsic to EMDR therapy and can be woven into the 8 phases of EMDR therapy as a tool to help clients re-regulate and treat themselves with loving kindness. Ahimsa is defined within the context of yoga as having respect for all living things and avoiding violence towards others and self. Ahimsa falls under the Yamas, or moral restraints, in the eight-limb path of yoga. Yoga includes not only the physical postures, but also mindfulness, mindful breathing, meditation, and a moral guide to use within the context of yoga and in life in general. The Yamas are part of this moral guide and are yoga's self-regulating behaviors that teach us how to relate to others and take care of ourselves. Yoga, as a whole practice, aids in healing trauma and when used in conjunction with EMDR therapy, miraculous changes can occur.
Ahimsa does not just inform our work with clients but also how we take care of ourselves as therapists. In the clinical setting, we practice Ahimsa in the words and actions we use with our clients to create a trauma-sensitive setting. We also counteract the effects of our own countertransference, vicarious trauma, and burnout as we take a non-harming approach with ourselves. The whole framework and modality of EMDR therapy embodies Ahimsa as we help our clients heal from trauma and cultivate a peaceful therapeutic setting.
Practicing Ahimsa in phase 1 of EMDR therapy influences the process of history taking with our clients. As clinicians, we must be mindful of how we conduct a mental health assessment and talk to our clients about their past to avoid retraumatization through asking about unnecessary details in regards to their traumas. Because of the fragmented nature of how trauma memories are stored, clients may not be able to identify an accurate timeline, or when they do start recounting specific memories, the proverbial can of worms opens and clients become flooded with trauma memories. We can avoid this by slowly exploring clients' histories and not worrying about getting the exact historical details. We must remember what matters in history taking is the client's perspective of their experiences and how they've integrated these memories into their view of themselves. Because of the triggering nature of our clients' pasts, we may need to wait to obtain a full history (and this may not ever come to full fruition) and allow the conversation to be client directed. Though there are certain nuggets of information necessary to obtain to form a diagnosis and identify a treatment plan, it is more important for the wellbeing of our clients to practice Ahimsa by not asking for too much information too fast.
As we move into phase 2 of EMDR therapy, we can work with our clients to identify resources they can utilize throughout the therapeutic process and which embodies a way to direct our clients to practice Ahimsa. This can start as early as the first session as we explore the resources clients already have in place and can utilize in therapy. Exploring resources in addition to history taking can help counteract possible retraumatization in phase 1. The main purpose of resourcing is to help clients tolerate processing the traumas identified during history taking. During this phase of treatment, we can teach our clients coping skills and resources that will help them stay in their window of tolerance without self injury in thought or deed. Through guided visualizations of the Light Stream, the Calm Safe Place, and the Container Exercise installed with BLS, we strengthen our clients' internal resources to enhance Ahimsa. As a further way to practice Ahimsa, we can also offer to install other individualized positive resources with bilateral stimulation, such as positive experiences, relationships, and achievements.
In phases 3-6 in EMDR therapy, we help clients practice Ahimsa by identifying targets to process and then engaging in bilateral stimulation to desensitize the memories and reprocess the associated negative beliefs. These beliefs perpetuate internal self-injury in the messages clients tell themselves and external self-injury in the form of harmful coping mechanisms, drug and alcohol abuse, and even cutting. Flooding and abreactions can occur during processing with clients who are extremely traumatized, pushing them outside their window of tolerance. Though we want to keep pushing forward to help clients move through these memories, we must practice Ahimsa to help them stay within the space of being comfortably uncomfortable. This can occur by drawing upon their previously installed positive resources, utilizing different cognitive interweaves, and knowing when to slow the processing train down. It also involves an understanding of when to integrate modifications into phases 3-6, such as having a client open their eyes during processing, integrating grounding techniques in between sets, and utilizing the container when clients are flooded by memories. By desensitizing these target memories, our clients practice Ahimsa by living peacefully in the present instead of through the lens of past traumas.
Traditionally, in the practice of Ahimsa, we tend to think of non-harming in the physical sense. This is certainly a reality for many of our clients who engage in physical self-harm through cutting, drug and alcohol addiction, and eating disorders. However, self-harm can present as an internal self-injury through negative self-talk. As clients desensitize their traumatic memories, the associated negative cognitions reprocess, allowing for the integration of positive cognitions, which is then installed with bilateral stimulation. This allows clients to let go of negative cognitions that do not serve them and minimizes negative self-talk and coincidental internal self-injury. Through this, our clients are actively practicing Ahimsa by listening to their positive internal voice.
A further practice of physical non-harming occurs in the body scan phase in EMDR therapy. We ask our clients to scan their body and notice any disturbances while thinking about the target memory and positive cognition. Any residual disturbances they may report can be lingering somatic experiences of the traumatic memories, and reprocessing these can lead to further healing. Though this phase of EMDR therapy may seem extraneous, it allows for some of the deepest processing due to trauma memories being stored at a very base body level. It is often the very last fibrous roots of trauma memories that need to be weeded out. The body scan offers an in-depth way to heal physically from the traumas, leading to a continued state of peace and calm in which to continue practicing Ahimsa.
EMDR therapy is based on the three pronged model of addressing and reprocessing past, present, and future targets to help clients reach optimal functioning. Reprocessing past and present targets offers a way for clients to heal. Installing a future template lays the groundwork for an ongoing mindset of practicing Ahimsa. By visualizing positive ways to handle related situations, clients automatically create an internal positive environment to respond to new and different situations. This is also a way to carry their installed positive cognitions into future scenarios to which they will respond. This will help them to strengthen their practice of Ahimsa as they continue to install and strengthen their positive cognitions and strengths.
As EMDR therapists, we hear trauma all day long. Reprocessing these memories leads to so much healing for our clients but can take a toll on us as therapists through countertransference, vicarious trauma, and burnout. It is imperative as clinicians to practice Ahimsa ourselves. This may manifest as taking a mental health day, limiting the number of clients seen back to back, making sure to take a quick break in between sessions to eat, drink water, and to answer the call of nature. It should also include a rigorous self-care routine outside of work in which you engage in activities that ground and replenish you. In sessions, staying grounded and mindful while practicing Ahimsa will help you to stay present with your clients without absorbing all of the emotions and energies they are outputting as they process their own trauma. Having a self-practice of Ahimsa will enhance your abilities as a clinician and assist in staying engaged with your clients.
Practicing Ahimsa guides us in living in a peaceful way within ourselves and within the world. Not only does non-harming refer to refraining from physically and verbally hurting someone else, it also applies to how we treat and speak to ourselves. As EMDR clinicians, we are teaching our clients to practice non-harming through reprocessing their traumas in the 8 phases and installing positive cognitions that inform how they live their lives moving forward. Through Ahimsa we discover the light within ourselves that directs us in our lives.
Making Peace with Technique by Jamie Marich, Ph.D., LPCC-S, LICDC-CS, REAT, RYT-200
"I have to do what?!?"
My gut squelched as I voiced my protest in the form of this question. For years I yearned to take a full 200-hour yoga teacher training. Because of my hectic schedule with my own training work, arranging one never seemed possible. In the interim, I committed to taking many weekend modules in trauma-informed and recovery yoga, in addition to deepening my own practice. In 2015, I formally discovered the Amrit Yoga system developed by Yogi Amrit Desai, carrier of the Kripalu lineage to the United States. Having been invited to Amrit Yoga Institute (AYI) as a guest teacher in a recovery program, I immediately fell in love with the Integrated Amrit Method and knew that when the time came to take a full teacher training, it would be at AYI. Several amazing things fell into alignment and I was able to take the full 200-hour program in the Summer of 2018, split into two, ten-day modules. When I presented for the first module, my teachers informed me that when returning for the second module, I would be tested on the Amrit method script… and 70% compliance was required to pass!
After my initial question, more protestation flowed: "They can't box me into a script!," "I am anything but a scripted person, what the hell did I get myself into?!," "I haven't had to do this kind of rote learning since graduate school…what do they expect me to learn from this!?!" Then it dawned on me: the teaching methods employed by the AYI team are not too dissimilar from what I ask my eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) trainees to do. In EMDR therapy training, even in a system as mindfulness-infused as my own Institute for Creative Mindfulness curriculum, trainees are asked to stick to a script. In the heart of EMDR therapy, often referred to as the trauma reprocessing stages, the script is very precise as required by the EMDR International Association. While there is room to adapt in some of the other phases, we still ask our trainees to follow a prepared script as we have found this to be the most solid method for educating the majority of our adult trainees who pass through the program. A key difference is that I was being asked to memorize the Amrit Method script and we don't expect memorization from our trainees, simply that they read from the prescribed script until it becomes second nature to them.
While my challenge felt slightly more difficult, I knew the process would allow me to step into the shoes of what I've been asking my trainees to do over the years. A key factor in what helped me to stay optimistic about learning the script is that I as the teacher was allowed to use my own words to teach what is called the second part of the pose in Amrit Yoga. The second part of the pose is the artistry—giving students the time to bask in the stillness of the pose after taking deliberate movement in the first part of the pose (what I had to memorize). A similar process occurs in learning EMDR therapy. There is room for bringing your own clinical judgment and artistry into the practice of EMDR; yet this ought to only come in the context of first assuring a solid technique in one's set up.
In my several month process of studying on my own and then returning for the second module of intense practice before being tested, I threw every tantrum possible. In addition to the standard issue "I can't do this" and "I'm incapable," I found myself beginning to resent the yoga method that I really loved very much and credited with changing my life. I did not feel the same allegiance to Yogi Desai that many of my fellow students and teachers felt and the challenge to "respect his words and his language" didn't particularly resonate. I did, however, resonate with an explanation given by a teacher that the scripted portion of the pose is designed for us to know how to get people into and out of poses safely. By learning time-tested language for this, the burden of having to grasp for optimal language was removed. As Kalindi, my small group mentor whom I resented many times during the process, taught: "When you don't have to worry about the language you're using, something Higher will come through."
I fought the notion that using someone else's words—granted words and concepts that I liked very much—would allow my Higher Self to come through in my teaching. By the end of the training process I realized that my dear Kalindi was right. The moment of realization didn't even come when I took my exam. Although I got through it well and was even able to correct an error that I made with a reasonable degree of elegance, it was in our final class for the whole community that the magic happened. Each of us in our group got to teach a pose and at the relative last minute, I was assigned what I perceived to be one of the more difficult poses in the Amrit sequence: Warrior I. There are a lot of moving parts in the script for Warrior I even though this is a yoga pose I've practiced for almost a decade. Getting up in front of my entire cohort and other members of the community, I breathed into it and didn't experience a shred of nerves. The pose just flowed through me and the experience in my body was one of the most powerful I ever felt as a teacher. And I teach for a living! By time the second part of the pose rolled around and I shared from the organic learning of my own practice, it clicked why Yogi Desai and the entire AYI team put me through this process. I felt a freedom within the structure, and it was glorious!
Throughout the process, and especially in that final class, I realized the power of why we have EMDR trainees learn from a script. For many years I bristled against this teaching methodology. Sure, I learned from the script when I did my own EMDR training in 2005-2006 because I had to. From that initial learning, I found myself resisting the technique of it and improvising a great deal. Much of this adaptation was clinically justified, artistic, and especially needed in serving the most complex clients whose processing work in EMDR therapy will not be very likely to follow a textbook flow. I had a fabulous early consultant who helped me to navigate the finesse around adaptation and modification. After I finished my consultation period, however, I was drawn to other approaches to EMDR therapy that were even more modified and less structured. There was a period of a few years where I taught and even advocated for many of these less structured approaches to EMDR therapy. In becoming an official EMDR trainer, a role that I resisted accepting for years out of fear that I wasn't "technical" enough, I learned to fall in love with the scripts and the protocols of EMDR in a new way. I discovered that in working with the majority of adult learners that we serve, having the scripted core protocol as the base is the foundation from which a successful EMDR practice in built. As I discuss with my co-author Stephen Dansiger in my latest book EMDR Therapy and Mindfulness for Trauma-Focused Care (2018), the standard protocol is rich with mindful language and concepts, evidence of Dr. Shapiro's own foundation as a mindfulness practitioner. Granted it took years to work through my initial tantrums about not being a person who exists well in a box to see the beauty in the technical aspects of EMDR. I learned to appreciate that the principles, techniques, and protocols were not the boxes I once feared them to be. Rather, they are tools like paintbrushes, paints, and canvases that allow my clients, with my guidance, to create works of art.
The words of Nirali, my lead teacher throughout the yoga teacher training experience at AYI, sum up what I've come to learn as both a yoga teacher and an EMDR therapist/trainer. In one of our closing classes she said, "Learn the rules so that you know how to break them elegantly when you need to. But if you don't learn the rules you just come off as amateur." For anyone currently struggling to learn any system that makes you feel boxed into a script, I encourage you to consider this wisdom. If years down the road you are still feeling boxed in and stifled there may be a larger issue to consider here about whether the approach in which you've been trained is right for you. My hope is that after an initial period of practice in any scripted or protocol-driven approach you will feel more liberated to be yourself instead of less liberation. This is the art of allowing your Higher Self to shine through in your work, in your life, and in all that you do!
I began practicing Kripalu yoga nine years ago and from the first exposure, I felt the quality of my recovery deepen. The system of Kripalu yoga was brought to the west by Yogi Amrit Desai; he named it for his guru Swami Kripalvanandji. Desai went on to develop the Integrated Amrit Methods (I AM) of yoga, yoga nidra, and yoga therapy. Although the system bears his first name, it is worth noting that Amrit means nectar of life, and practitioners the world over have experienced the power of the I AM system to help them reconnect and renew the friendship with their life force. I first visited Desai's ashram, Amrit Yoga Institute in Salt Springs, Florida, in 2015 when I was invited to guest teach for a recovery yoga retreat. Skeptical of anything connected to a guru, I hesitantly accepted the invitation. In the three years since, I've come to know Yogi Desai (Gurudev) as loving man and friend of recovery. He's integrated his teachings personally to transform his own life, and this shows up in every aspect of his teaching. Desai supports the 12-step path of recovery. His 1993 book A Yogic Perspective on the 12-Steps reveals a deep regard for the program. Like me, Desai believes there are certain components of the program that are incomplete for healing addiction at its deepest levels. I am delighted that Gurudev, now one of my primary yoga teachers, agreed to talk to me about yogic perspective on recovery and the importance of both/and.
Dr. Jamie Marich: Thank you, Gurudev, for taking the time to talk to me today about recovery. What does recovery mean to you?
Yogi Amrit Desai: So, when I look at recovery, I see what 12 steps are aiming towards. They are aiming towards the recovery, so the drinking or smoking or food or work, all that has become like a habit pattern. And then everybody becomes why did it happen? Because there was some kind of a stress somewhere in life. That stress was creating so much internal turmoil and conflicts, stress, that they adapted something as a way to get relief from means of relief. It could be food, it could be alcohol, it could be drugs, work or it could be sex. These are the major known factors. So, whenever you are doing anything it you do is called reactive interaction with the stress that is happening within yourself. But it appears to be coming from outside you by the person, situation or event. that you are having within yourself. But it appears to be coming from somewhere else, or somebody else, you see?
Dr. Jamie Marich: Right.
Yogi Amrit Desai: What will you say about others who are hurting you, abusing you, or have done something to you in your childhood? It's all stress. So, stress and anything that you think about it is hijacked by the amygdala or the reptilian brain, which is animal and this is instinctive brain. It protects you from the real threat. But for humans beings, when the ego is under stress it is adapted to protect its life, not your life. And then, that's what the yoga that I teach is about. Yoga is how-to disengage from the cause of the stress, rather than its effects. Effects are stress symptoms, and everything that is adapted to get rid of stress, called addiction. How to get rid of from the cause, rather than the effects.
Dr. Jamie Marich: But what about people who have experienced trauma or abuse, who would say to you: Gurudev, that's so much easier said than done?
Yogi Amrit Desai: I know this is the real question. Almost anybody you said will, in their mind, have that question. Even if they don't ask.
Dr. Jamie Marich: Right. Because the limbic brain does get overridden in traumatic experiences, and I think a lot of what you teach can help heal the limbic brain.
Yogi Amrit Desai: Right, right. And whatever that happens in your childhood, when you have nothing to cannot protect yourself or defend yourself, , and that abuse has been done, or has happened to you, how do you deal with it? Well, there are many things, even now, are happening, that you are not able to defend yourself from. Actually, you're causing it to yourself. That is how far it is going.
Dr. Jamie Marich: But you're not saying that the trauma you did to yourself? It's the continuing-
Yogi Amrit Desai: Yes, it's the continuing thing mental and emotional dialogue about that trauma is something that is carried over from the past. The soul positions itself precisely at the place where they can continue their journey where it stopped somewhere in the past. Where gestalt was not complete.
Dr. Jamie Marich: What if the limbic brain isn't healed yet, and it tells you otherwise?
Yogi Amrit Desai: This is where it begins. Reason cannot reach it. That's why it says in 11th step, meditation and prayer. So that how to solve the problems stored in limbic brain that are immediate, and reactive, as the instinct for survival.
Dr. Jamie Marich: Exactly.
Yogi Amrit Desai: So, how do you work with it?
Dr. Jamie Marich: That's what I'm asking you.
Yogi Amrit Desai: The answer is, the 11th step. The 11th step says: Sought through the prayer and meditation…that is correct…to improve your conscious contact with God, as we understood him, praying only for knowledge, as we understood him. There is no such thing as understanding that part of you through the medium of the mind. There is no such thing. This God is not available through the mind. You can access god only by going beyond the mind.. And then, praying only for knowledge of his will for and the power to carry it out. But it is not his will, it is your own will. It's the God within you.
Dr. Jamie Marich: Tell me more about that, because I think this would be useful for people to hear more about.
Yogi Amrit Desai: Right, because, in the practice of yoga, God is not outside of you. If it was outside of you, and you can connect with him through the mind, you would believe in him or not believe in him. Mind cannot access god. Mind is doing its mind thing. Do you understand?
Meditation is the only doorway to witnessing presence, to get back to the power of God that always dwells within you.
Dr. Jamie Marich: So, talk to me more about meditation. If an absolute beginner to recovery was saying Gurudev what is meditation? Where would you begin?
Yogi Amrit Desai: Meditation means you are witnessing your own thoughts, feelings, and emotions that flow from your mind. So where is it coming from? Your ego has adapted that, and it's addicted to its addicted to thoughts, dialogues, and emotions as a way to protect itself in the reptilian brain, that you are not. You are not your reptilian brain. You have created an independent entity as if it is you. God cannot get rid of it, mind cannot get rid of it, because you are it. So, how do you get back to who you really are, which is God, the consciousness, the holy spirit, and this wholeness that you are? God is whole and complete. It is omnipresent, it's everywhere. And, there is the space, I am, is that God.
Dr. Jamie Marich: So, then, here is my devil's advocate question.
Yogi Amrit Desai: I like that!
Dr. Jamie Marich: There's this concern when we talk about God within you, our inner power, that it's feeding the ego. Because so much of the terminology with higher power is it must not be you. But what I'm hearing you say is that you are not your ego mind.
Yogi Amrit Desai: Right, right.
Dr. Jamie Marich: Help me understand a little bit of that, people that have the concern that this teaching would feed the ego more than liberate the ego.
Yogi Amrit Desai: Ego mind has no life. It is the carrier of the traumatic painful, as well as blissful, pleasurable, experiences it had in search of her love from external relationship, and external material resources. Pleasure will come with pain. There is no such thing as success will come with failure. When you seek it from the external relationship, or external material resources, it automatically comes with opposite.
Right now, every time you are in a fight with your reactive thoughts about yourself, other, or the world, you are divide yourself as for me, or against me. The mind is designed to see only friends or enemies. That's it. It doesn't see anything else. It is not selectively neutral. It's selectively either for it or against it. That makes a division. To go beyond the division that is created through the thoughts like I love myself, I don't like myself, I am addicted, I don't like to be addicted, I hate it, I'm afraid of it, you let go of all such thoughts when you meditate. You are just saying, I let go of my thoughts, of my past. I let go of the blissful experiences I had in my relationship, and the same husband I got divorced. I let go of the business that I thought would bring me great fame, wealth and success, but made my life miserable.
This is meditation. Your entire past that is full of conflict, stress producing experiences we called bliss and traumas. Happiness and unhappiness has no existence in meditation.
Dr. Jamie Marich: So let's get practical, because I've heard you talk about meditation as a solution. How to. If a beginner came to you and said Gurudev, how do I meditate?
Yogi Amrit Desai: First of all, meditation is to clear the mind. And, so the mind cannot be cleared without clearing body as well. So body, mind are very deeply interconnected. And the connecting link is prana, or the breath. So, breath acts as bridge, because breath is grosser than the mind, and is simpler than the body. It's in between.
Dr. Jamie Marich: Right.
Yogi Amrit Desai: So you can use breath to go up to the brain and change it, or go to the body and relax it.
Dr. Jamie Marich: Yes.
Yogi Amrit Desai: You can bring peace in your mind, relaxation in your body. So we use breathing techniques, as well as diet and purification of the body. But you are still seeking you're so heavily engaged in making a relationship work, and when tit doesn't you blame others or shame yourself. You are using relationship to find a solution, but you are creating more problems through the stress around it.
Dr. Jamie Marich: Right.
Yogi Amrit Desai: You're trying to get the business, you are building stress along the way, and you say, I will be happy when I get what I want. That is living through the ego mind in the dimension of time. Meditation is how to go to the timeless dimension, so that in the present you're relaxed.
Dr. Jamie Marich: I'm hearing you say, correct me if I'm wrong, but all life, everything in our lifestyle is a chance to practice meditation?
Yogi Amrit Desai: Right. Everything, the great ancient Yogi Patanjali says yoga is "witnessing the modifications of mind." He doesn't say yoga means to know God.
Dr. Jamie Marich: Right.
Yogi Amrit Desai: Even though yoga means union of soul with super conscious or the higher power. It's the same thing.
Dr. Jamie Marich: Right.
Yogi Amrit Desai: Meditation, that's all yoga is about. Yoga means union with the soul, or Oneness. God is oneness. Only you can enter yourself in the experience of oneness that God is you. You cannot enter into oneness by finding God outside. The more relaxed you are, the more integrated you are, the closer you are to the oneness God that you are within yourself. Oneness, relaxation.
Dr. Jamie Marich: I guess then, that naturally leads me to the question, so what have you personally learned about recovery in your own journey?
Yogi Amrit Desai: I didn't know how much I have recovered from the past, because hardly anything caused me so much stress that I had to adapt some vehicle of food, or sex, or alcohol or drugs. I wanted to find out if there was something that I had not yet released from my past that I'm still carrying internally, unknowingly and unconsciously, in how I live with myself, with the world and external relationships. So, I saw that when you are living in harmony with the presence that you are, that God is, then your energy is not abusively used. The most abusive use is when you're stressed. Stress creates more stress.
So the real recovery, it's called enlightenment. Recovery from the past is called enlightenment.
Dr. Jamie Marich: That sounds like a big task Gurudev, so break it down. Let's talk a little bit more about the specifics of how.
Yogi Amrit Desai: So as first change the company you keep. If I'm looking for health, I look for gymnasiums, yoga teachers, meditation teachers, books, healthy people. So I want to be free from the company that also triggers by own past. So company is first. Then reading about these teachings. How this works. They should know exactly that God is within you.
Dr. Jamie Marich: Right.
Yogi Amrit Desai: And you are not your reactively processed memories of the past. That's very important. When you believe that everything that you think about yourself, others or the world is real, you cannot practice this. It's all the lies. That's why psychologists say almost every thought you think is repetitive. Means it has no meaning. And it changes nothing. On the contrary, it has made things worse.
Dr. Jamie Marich: I like what you're saying, because I've long believed lifestyle change is the key. Because there's so many different approaches and philosophies on recovery, but the one common denominator I've discovered in my work seems to be is it getting you towards some type of meaningful lifestyle change.
Yogi Amrit Desai: They can change their diet, they change their company, they exercise, they do yoga, they go jogging, all those different things could be adapted to change. Not just attending meetings alone. So it is very important.
Dr. Jamie Marich: Oh yeah.
Yogi Amrit Desai: So your diet, your sleep, your routine. When you sleep, when you wake up, who is your company, what are you reading, what kind of classes are you attending? So all those things must be changed. And sometimes, if you change even the job if it is stressful that can be a big change in the way you feel and think. The problem with many people is that their beliefs in sex or security keep them tied to situations that create stress. The belief system needs to be addressed whether the fear of insecurity or the addiction to sex.
Dr. Jamie Marich: Sure. So do you think people may need to change, you know, get out of a marriage, or is it all about changing what is within you?
Yogi Amrit Desai: If anything that is creating you a lot of problems in your life and in other person's life. So people are addicted to sex and security. So sometimes people continue to create, have stress, but their security or addiction to sex, and the belief system is working. So you have to break the belief system, secure fear of insecurity, and this addiction to sex.
Dr. Jamie Marich: In my experience the bigger addiction is to the security. I'm glad you worded it that way.
Yogi Amrit Desai: So we have explained different resources of stress and conflict. We are reducing what is creating mental and emotional conflicts and stress externally.
Yogi Amrit Desai: Right, right.
Dr. Jamie Marich: It's both. It's a both/and. The external and the internal. So one thing I wanted to make sure I asked you about is the expressive arts in recovery. You are a very gifted painter, as I have seen. So, painting, and drawing, and dancing, and writing; how that can help with what we're talking about, lifestyle changes?
Yogi Amrit Desai: In any creative endeavor the mind can become absorbed. When that happens the body becomes relaxed. The physiological changes that come from dancing and singing helps purify the body. Sculpting and painting why you are totally absorbed takes you beyond the mind and there are chemical changes happening. Cardio is a good starting point, because anyone can do that . That will begin to clear the body. Then diet- simple vegetarian cooked vegetables. I don't support a raw diet because in Ayurveda raw foods create a vata (air) disturbance that influences mental and emotional distress. Then meditation.
Dr. Jamie Marich: Beautiful.
Yogi Amrit Desai: So that's called direct change. This is linear change is also necessary. Like, you can do some of these changes, these steps are also good. That can be included. But with this understanding, God is within you.
Dr. Jamie Marich: Both/and.
Yogi Amrit Desai: Both/and. Yes.
To read more from Yogi Desai on this topic:
Desai, A. (1993). A yogic perspective on the 12 steps. Originally published by Kripalu Yoga Fellowship. Now available from Amrit Kala, Salt Springs, FL (www.amritkala.com)
I am 57, and I have been a yogi since age 43. I have been #metoo declarant since late 2017, a survivor of sexual abuse since the age of seven. I have been touched inappropriately by yoga teachers three times, twice triggering me and once physically injuring me. We need in the #metoo era—and yoga has its own #metoo—to admit to and fix a problem in our industry, and it is this: Yoga has become a touch culture. Let's look at this problem and move towards solutions, and fast. I open with two encounters I had recently regarding yoga's touch culture within my local yoga community.
Last spring: Two students talk with me after class. They say they have completed a yoga teacher training program. They say they learned about adjustments and that their teacher taught them to touch lightly. "It's more of an emotional adjustment we learned to do," one says. Then they look at each other and, as though auditioning for Cats, turn toward one another, bend their elbows to their sides, curl their fingers into their palms, and paw each other's arms, rolling out their mewing chant, "Kitten Pawwwzzz."
Four weeks later, I receive an email from a local yoga studio addressed to dozens of area instructors inviting us to play a role in our city's large (2016 attendance: 1,900+) outdoor summer yoga class: "It is beautiful to witness all of the fantastic work you are doing sharing the magic of yoga in your classes and throughout your communities…Would you be willing to offer your hands-on support {at our upcoming event}? Assistants will be asked to arrive at 5:30pm to help manage and arrange mats and then share your loving heart through your hands." (This event consisted of teachers adjusting and assisting en masse, including two of my students who, handicapped by outdoor acoustic challenges, were taken by surprise.)
Yoga Touch: Background
Yoga historian Mark Singleton has found almost no evidence of teachers adjusting/assisting students until the 1930s, with the Krishnamacharya lineage. Creation of modern yoga postures, documented to have gymnastics, bodybuilding, wrestling, and dance influences, was on the rise in this period, and the Krishnamacharya lineage was a prominent player. The practice of adjusting/assisting in this lineage advanced, naturally, as its postural collection (via Iyengar) and movement patterns (via Jois/Ashtanga) did. The combined innovation of what is taught and how it's taught created a very large branch on today's yoga family tree, for every Vinyasa Yoga style is born from Ashtanga, and Iyengar is a prominent global yoga style. Therefore, although some lineages are hands-off, mainstream, general yoga is a worldwide practice that utilizes what Krishnamacharya started: the touch factor.
Today, yoga adjustments/assists are learned, and touch culture perpetuated, in four major ways: within a tradition (YTT and YT-CEU programs); from a teacher-student bond ('My guru opened my heart chakra in Half Moon, so I do the same for others'); and casually in yoga's open-source, observation field known as a general class ('Today I saw this teacher do this amazing assist on a student in supine twist. I'm going to try that'). To a lesser degree, as well, the hands-on healing arts have played a role in advancing yoga's touch culture. It is common, for example, for yoga instructors to be massage therapists, and they bring that license-to-touch into class. This multi-modality mash-up means yoga is morphing but also shines a negative light on our industry's trouble with setting boundaries and limits. 'What else (besides goats) can we add to yoga to make the yoga more? better? nuanced?' worth more?' Last, acrobatic and partner yogas contribute to touch prevalence and posture as a physical thing we do with others.
Certified to Touch
Whether it's adjusting, assisting, or massaging, a 200-hour certificate is all that is required to grant yoga teachers a near-surreal amount of power: potential physical dominance over students' bodies. Irrefutably, our industry's self-sanctioned right to touch students is the same agency that allows us to injure and abuse them.
Yoga Touch Crimes
Injury and abuse are a definite and dark part of contemporary yoga history. One does not need to go far to learn facts: Yoga thought leader Matthew Remski's crucial project, WAWADIA, consists of interviews, analysis, and reported findings of increased injury cases in our field. WAWADIA and his most recent work moving the conversation of yoga's #metoo culture forward are mergeable studies and are bound to be yoga history classics. As well, impassioned yoga podcaster J. Brown aired this spring a series of interviews about yoga's latest #metoo scandal, this one involving the Ashtanga lineage in general, Pattabhi Jois specifically. On May 14, Brown posted his interview with Remski. Guru status crashes (or lack thereof) occurring in the face of exposed abuse is not the only message Remski and Brown are sending. The difficult terrain we need to traverse in this troubled era is another.
Against Reason
That we touch students at all in the #metoo era defies reason. From current statistics put out by The National Sexual Violence Resource Center about childhood sexual abuse to the staggeringly high #metoo statistics of reported abuse in Hollywood, we must acknowledge that a large percentage of us are sexually harassed, assaulted, and/or abused in our lifetimes. Our industry's touch culture runs exactly counter to what we know about the needs of #metoos and other trauma survivors, for touch is a complex issue and for some a serious one. What's more, that we touch students at all when we know of the negative effects a teacher-induced injury can have on a student is an industry-wide fail. Why do we risk it? Allow the risk? Bodily harm, litigation, and poor reputation as a teacher and industry are risks our touch culture creates. Touch culture to the degree it has developed in mainstream yoga is disrespectful, dangerous, legally suspect, and far afield from where we should be in the #metoo era. Whatever cultural context inspired and advanced the touch culture in yoga from the last century to now, it no longer serves a large percentage of people.
Slow to Take a Stand
We are witnessing the very earliest attempts of a touch culture shift in the name of raised awareness, responding to yoga's #metoo, and handling the touch factor in class. These barely scratch the surface of our problem; morphing and adjusting will be essential.
First, showing promise is our rising awareness in yoga of human trauma. David Emerson and his mission of training in trauma-sensitive yoga through The Justice Resource Institute and the in-yoga and beyond-yoga fieldwork of psychologist Dr. Jamie Marich are two leaders who cast the welcomed lens on the victims/survivors who are taking our classes and on ourselves to be better informed. Mainstream yoga, though, is barely budging toward trauma competence, even though it is there where we need the biggest re-direct.
Second, in February, Yoga Alliance responded to yoga's #metoo by announcing its new role supporting the rights of all to practice yoga "free from abuse, harassment, and manipulation." Its site's new sexual misconduct resource pages and "#ahimsanow" call-to-action point to an admission of a problem. Yoga Alliance has no authority or resources to investigate or stop criminal activity, though; it remains a registration-based organization. What's more, Yoga Alliance itself can accurately be called part of the problem: As an agency it approves, for training and then registry, many touch culture training programs and certified-to-touch teachers.
Finally, the trending use of permission objects and gestures in yoga is an attempt to solve the problem of touch culture in the era of #metoo. However, permission objects and gestures merely divide classmates into two categories: those who grant permission to be touched and those who do not, whether for a pose, a class, or a lifetime. As Julie Kiger, owner of Portland Power Yoga, and other teachers like myself who have survived PTSD have reported and attest, students choosing touch or no-touch does not guarantee they are revealing what they really want or feel, especially those whose rights and voices have been silenced and compromised from harassment, assault, abuse, and other traumatic experiences. We need to remember that in general students want to do well in whatever realms they are studying. They might even want to please or avoid offending the teacher, which was my case for years in yoga, making opting out a very hard decision. Permission objects and gestures even when they work right (and I've seen teachers royally screw it up) create, instead of a student-empowering environment, a divisive classroom hierarchy and not a democracy (forcing avote rather than granting choice.
Here are things we need to think about, talk about, and move to change when teaching mainstream yoga. Whoever you are—a teacher who touches students, a teacher who doesn't, a student who loves touch, a student who doesn't—I invite your stories, opinions, and input.
Yoga is a force, and it is complex. It can actually, alchemically, and (believers say) magically bring the body-mind complex, when given fair opportunity and good condition, to a better state simply from the acts of presence and practice. No matter how much yoga is going to have to morph in the #metoo era—no matter how strong our attachments to our current pictures of yoga in some lineages are—we must change, and soon. The good news is that true to its beautiful malleability as both the dancer and the danced of human psychology in the arena of culture, yoga can handle it. So can we. Our students deserve better, yoga deserves better, and we as professionals deserve better, too.
Marcia Camino, Founder of Pink Lotus Yoga in Lakewood, Ohio, is a yoga teacher, trainer, speaker, and consultant and an Expressive Arts Consultant and Educator in training. She holds an M.F.A. in Creative Writing from the University of Alaska/Fairbanks and a B.A. in English from Bowling Green State University.
Marcia has spoken and presented on a wide range of topics in yoga and expressive arts and has worked to establish or advance a yoga presence at several large local institutions. Her work in Expressive Arts brings her the opportunity to explore and share the connections between yoga and art, her favorite art form being poetry. She is a writer of prose and poetry and has completed three books: her studio's yoga teacher training manual; Crayzee Aayzee (a poetry abecedarian); and Oomee Boomee (a three-book yoga adventure series for younger readers).
In addition to her degrees, Marcia holds certifications in Dancing Mindfulness, Women CWRU Staff Leadership, General Yoga Teacher Training, Yin Yoga, Children's Yoga, and children's tutoring. She is currently on track to receive her REACE through mentoring with the Institute for Creative Mindfulness.
Originally published on the Dancing Mindfulness Expressive Arts Therapy Blog, 5/4/2017
If you've followed Dancing Mindfulness and other projects connected to my Institute for Creative Mindfulness work, you've likely encountered the hashtag #redefinetherapy. What started as a book chapter and a hashtag is quickly turning into a movement that you may feel the call to embrace. I owe credit to Emily Wichland, the editor of my 2015 book Dancing Mindfulness: A Creative Path to Healing & Transformation for articulating the challenge to redefine therapy. In my first draft of Dancing Mindfulness, I structured the closing chapter around my experience of feeling more excited by practices that are happening outside of the bounds of conventional psychotherapy. To excerpt:
Formal psychotherapy has played a great role in my healing process and I respect the practice of counseling and therapy. Additionally, I am proud of what I've been able to achieve as a counselor in helping others. However, the overall direction of where my field is going does not excite me as much as the healing wonders I witness when people organically connect with their own creativity. I see many gifted professionals in psychotherapy stifled in their creativity and intuition by the rigid institutions that they work for or the insurance companies they fear, imposing unrealistic medical standards of care on their work. In sum, there is only so much that traditional therapy can do for people in the modern era because of the flaws in our healthcare system. What really excites me is what's happening in healing communities across the globe. When I see people realize that healing and wellness are not synonymous with the broken systems that so many turn to in order to heal, my heart and soul smile.
When Emily returned the chapter edits to me, she suggested that I title the chapter Redefining Therapy. When I read this, my heart leaped into my stomach and then back again. I was excited—my immediate response was "Yes!" This notion of redefining therapy is what I see so many of our clinicians drawn to the Dancing Mindfulness community practicing in their lives. However, part of that visceral response also included a sense of terror. I asked myself, "Can I really be so bold, especially when many people in my field already resent those like me, challenging the value and the relevance of traditional psychotherapy taught in halls of academia?" By mindfully embracing these remnants of fear, I eventually arrived at the conclusion that naming the final chapter Redefining Therapy was an act of brilliance. The phrase represents everything that my work is about; it represents the sense of excitement I see percolate from the beautiful individuals I train when they are given permission to practice their healing arts outside of a rigid box.
As part of promoting the book's release, Holly Speenburgh, a member of our Dancing Mindfulness community who was helping me with marketing at the time, began using the hashtag #redefinetherapy. For people in our community, it came to represent a way of doing things that might make your university counseling professors' heads spin with frustration. Yet for us, it signifies the call for therapists to be inspired by what is happening outside of the literal boxes of our clinical offices and to bring some of this inspiration into how we teach our clients to heal. Redefine therapy also challenges potential consumers of mental health services to consider that conventional psychotherapy or psychiatry may not signal the only hope for treatment and recovery. Perhaps yoga or dance or raising your animals have cultivated a greater sense of safety in your own body than engaging in therapy ever has. Maybe martial arts or fly-fishing or backpacking through Europe or becoming an advocate in your community for change have helped you to experience a greater sense of empowerment than you have ever known. Like with many people I know both personally and professionally, it's very likely that a combination of factors—which may or may not include psychotherapy—have led to your recovery and renewal.
While it may seem like common sense to embrace this all of the above approach to healing, please understand that I still encounter a great deal of resistance from other therapists and academics about embracing the wide range of human experience as potential outlets for transformation. Maybe these colleagues are afraid that highlighting the importance of other healing practices and communities of connection will delegitimize what we do as therapists and make our work seem less relevant. Perhaps the resistance is born of a good old fashioned fear of what we do not understand. Another possibility is a fear of deeply engaging the body and its power as a vehicle for change, deferring instead to the familiarity of the talking cure in therapy. While I am not opposed to talking or verbal methods in the overall healing process, I've seen too many people use words only to avoid and to deflect. In many of these situations, deeper healing must take place in our emotional and somatic brains that words cannot directly reach. The journey into our emotional and bodily selves is difficult in our culture where we are constantly bombarded with messages that feelings cannot be trusted and feeling them makes us weak. The media and many of the tastemakers in our society shame us for having bodies that do not meet some perfect standard of what bodies should be. Additionally, the impact of religious messaging and shame-based interpretations of religious teachings leave many to doubt the wisdom inherent in their bodies.
The time is now to speak up about what has helped you to reach your desires in healing and recovery. It's 2017 and I am still fighting licensing boards and continuing education standards committees in certain states about the relevance of yoga, mindfulness, and expressive arts in the practice of professional therapy. A limitation for what works in healing and recovery still permeates many of the institutions that shape research, policy, and clinical practice guidelines. Moreover, the age-old axiom this is the way we've always done it, often invoked to honor tradition in many clinical and academic settings, seems to be hampering progress in an era where we need fresh solutions. Addiction is killing us in epic proportions, old trauma scripts are being triggered by current events and the state of the world, and people are feeling a greater sense of despair as we begin to wake up from our comas of oppression and realize that who we are matters. Showing up for life is hard work. As therapists, are we using all possible strategies for helping clients to embrace the challenge? As potential consumers of mental health and recovery services, what problems might we have with conventional psychotherapy and what have we discovered that may work better instead?
My challenge is that we begin having these conversations with greater vigor. What does redefining therapy mean to you? What has really helped you to embrace healing and recovery, either inside or outside of traditional structures of psychotherapy and treatment? Maybe it's been one primary practice, maybe it's been an all-of-the-above approach. My vision long term is to use this blog to hold space for people to share about what redefining therapy means to them and how they have put a wide array of healing practices into their lives. If it's psychotherapy, I want to hear about what worked in it for you. If it's Muay Thai kickboxing or aerial yoga or climbing mountains or volunteering at the soup kitchen or becoming a minister in the Church of the Dude, I want to hear about that, too. Feel free to submit your reflections and stories to me and I will be happy to publish them with your permission. Long term, my goal is to be able to publish an entire book called Redefining Therapy where we are not afraid to speak about what has truly worked for us and to continue to shatter the paradigm for what brings about change, healing, and recovery.
Photography by Natalie Mancino Grilli, June 2015, as part of the Body Diversity Aerial Yoga Project
Institute for creative mindfulness
Our work and our mission is to redefine therapy and our conversations are about the art and practice of healing. Blog launched in May 2018 by Dr. Jamie Marich, affiliates, and friends.
October 2020


text:
Pay attention, here's the science bit
Matt Locke, Vice-President for Engagement, British Science Association and Founder, Storythings
That familiar jokey exhortation takes on a different cast in times when it can be hard to keep anyone's attention for long. Those of us who connect to the internet live in a state of media overload. There's never been an era when we've had access to more stories, more opinions, more half-baked theories, more puns, more trolling, or more cat pictures.
We're now in the middle of a shift from an era of one-to-many distribution of mass media to one of many-to-many circulation via digital and social media. We get half of our culture from traditional media channels, with commissioners as gatekeepers, and the other half through social channels where friends, followers and algorithms regulate the flow.
How does that knowledge affect our mission to integrate science with the wider culture? In old media distribution the levers of power lie with the owners of the channels, the editors, the companies making the content and the talent leading the stories. If we want science to play a bigger part in old media, we know what to try. We lobby gatekeepers to commission our stories, and nurture talent like Brian Cox or Maggie Aderin-Pocock to be our storytellers.
But what happens in the ever-increasing part of the media world dominated by sharing and "likes"? Here, the reach of stories is not decided by a commissioner or editor, but by millions of people sharing stories in their social streams, and complex algorithms deciding which of these stories to amplify. How can we make science an integral part of a culture made up of streams instead of schedules?
Circulation has different characteristics from one-to-many distribution. Circulation networks are 'spiky'. Stories can get sudden peaks of attention as they are shared, for reasons that are hard to pin down. But they burst and fade quickly, replaced by a never-ending torrent of new stories.
The challenge with traditional media was to get scale – to convince one of the gatekeepers to grant access to a channel which commanded the attention of millions. The challenge in an age of circulation is to go beyond that spike of viral attention. To get people to come back to your story. The challenge is not scale, but engagement. Scale now is random, capricious and has little cultural impact. To change culture, you have to aim for sustained interest – for advocacy, debate and participation.
We do know something about what drives results in circulation networks. Most of the analysis so far has been on what drives spikes. Not surprisingly, the triggers are emotions that we all share. Stories that shock, make us laugh, feel nostalgic or evoke empathy induce sharing, but are quickly forgotten.
The triggers for engagement and participation are much more specific. In 2007, the BBC commissioned research on what drove people to actually, physically do something – to participate. Across a range of activities, from marching on the G8 conference to going on a photo-safari with friends from Flickr, it was not the brand, the story, or even the cause. In every single case, the most important trigger was seeing something as a threat or an opportunity for their micro-community – their existing network of family, friends or co-workers.
In one interview, a woman described organising a Comic Relief fundraising event at work. She felt the need to help others, and liked the feel-good factor of charitable work. But her motive for organising the specific event was that her workplace had recently hired new staff, who needed to get to know each other. In other words, if 'going viral' is about millions of strangers acting individually, then participation is about two people sharing something that makes them feel closer to each other.
What does all this mean for science? We know it can create spikes of attention. Sites like I Fucking Love Science or The Kids Should See This regularly share complex STEM content to millions of followers. But how can we influence culture at a deeper level?
Perhaps science has, in its method and aesthetics, an advantage here. We participate to feel part of something bigger than ourselves. Participation connects us with the bigger world around us, and makes us realise and value the inter-connectedness of things.
Science does this too. Sure, it can deliver the emotional tweaks that drive viral spikes – via amazing images, jaw-dropping facts and incredible discoveries. But it can also reveal deeper stories about the underlying structures and patterns of the universe. We can immerse ourselves in these deep stories that tell us more about our identity and place in the world. The kinds of stories that we binge-watch on Netflix are complex, demanding and high quality. How could we tell similar stories about science?
In his book, Everything Bad Is Good For You, Steven Johnson argues that the storylines of contemporary TV shows like The Sopranos are far more complex and demanding on the audience than shows from the 1960s and 1970s. With the right characters and storyline, we're more than prepared to immerse ourselves in complex stories, and binge-view them for hours at a time.
As we learn how to make culture in an age of circulation, it's understandable that science organisations will want to find out how to win a place in our noisy social streams. But we should be aiming for binges, not spikes; for engagement, not just attention. We need to look for the deeper stories that science can tell – about what makes us who we are, how we got here, and our place in this awesome universe.