text:
My mind spun through the hundred tiny vexing things I had to do, when suddenly I came to a word: STOP. Literally, it loomed up, a cherry red stop sign, filling my brain. STOP?
Yes. That's when I realized I wasn't letting myself be happy. Was it superstition? If I'm happy, that means I could become unhappy…. Was it fear? How hard it is to give into happiness. Was it just that unrelenting, driven, monkey mind saying 'Not good enough! Nothing is ever good enough!' Whatever the reason, it seemed suddenly absurd. I wasn't letting myself fill up with the joy of a small accomplishment, I wasn't giving myself credit for something well done, and I wasn't simply, well, enjoying the moment. Don't you love how the word enjoy has the word joy embedded in it? Being in the joy.
So I stopped. I put down my broom, I closed the laptop, I made a cup of tea and sat in a sunny window, gazing out at the cold ground, looking at a gorgeous crocus pushing out through matted leaves, letting the feeling of happiness just rush through my veins, feeling--and holding--it in my belly. Lovely. I felt gratitude, and pleasure, and I basked in all those good things. To bask: I looked it up in the dictionary, and learned that the word originated between 1350-1400, as bathaske--to bathe oneself.
We don't bask enough, and we ought to give ourselves the time to just sit in joy--time even to soak in a hot tub full of gorgeous oils and lavender scents, skin basking and mind basking--before we get turn back to those dirty dishes piling up in the sink!
131 comments:
- Marcy {pine creek cottage} said...
Bask... what a delicious word. It is a lesson that I need to learn too. Too often I bask in hindsight, not in the moment, which is such a shame. I will try to remember to slow down, to observe, and to bask...
- March 25, 2010 at 9:50 PM
- scribbler50 said...
Beautiful words, beautiful thoughts and a beautiful blog. Not sure I belong in this lovely corner of the world but I thank you for putting me on your blog roll.
- March 25, 2010 at 9:53 PM
- Unknown said...
From far away and a very different story. I am a 52 years old Israeli who lived in the US since 2002-2007. Left my husband in Boston to continue a big project in real estate, with my youngest who was 14 at the time. Created a new home was unemployed for two years went through depression. Learned to love the real important things in life, found a job working with small children and now maybe found a solution to finish my PhD that was stuck for two years. Learned to love my husband in mew ways since we meet every three weeks for ten days I even found ways to continue with my peace activism in a small portion. I loved the article I the New York Times today and will be reading your blog from now
Warm regards from Israel Irit
- March 26, 2010 at 2:47 AM
- Julia said...
I really enjoyed your piece in the Times. I can relate. Thank you for writing it.
- March 26, 2010 at 2:53 AM
- Anonymous said...
Your article in NYTimes and your blog feel to me like looking into a mirror. Surely we have known each other since childhood?
- March 26, 2010 at 7:02 AM
- Marcy said...
You are right, most of us don't bask enough, if at all. Thank you for the reminder. Life's chores will still be there waiting for us after we "soak in" the moment.
- March 26, 2010 at 7:17 AM
- Anonymous said...
"Was it superstition? If I'm happy, that means I could become unhappy…."
I did not realize other people also had this reaction to the occurrence of a positive event or result. I have been afraid to hold on to happiness in fear of losing it for years. Well done. Thank you for putting this into words, and for your blog.
- March 26, 2010 at 8:03 AM
- David said...
Love the Times article. We lost a house and garden to foreclosure 2 years ago. Our new life is better and richer in many ways, but I do miss my hellebores. When we moved, I dug up all the white daylillies and moved them to the garden at the loft building we now live in. The initial plants were a gift from the great Allen Haskell. They are just starting to proclaim themselves for another season, and somehow it is enough.
- March 26, 2010 at 8:16 AM
- Deana Sidney said...
I love the NYT's article. Moving from light speed to slow isn't easy. Think of the physics. You are thrown off balance. My job as a production designer wasn't quite as demanding as yours but after a year or so of not doing it thanks to the new economy, I have come to love writing and the amazing people I have met doing a blog. I felt your words. I know those changes. I am glad to have found your blog. I hope to bask with my morning coffee and read it in the morning light curled on the sofa.
"Find something you're passionate about and keep tremendously interested in it."
~Julia Childs
- March 26, 2010 at 8:36 AM
- C. Robin Janning said...
Oh my! I've just discovered your blog and it is (and you are) wonderful! Thank you for this gift.
- March 26, 2010 at 8:36 AM
- Dominique said...
David: You were so smart to dig up plants. I didn't do that and regret it, because many of them were later lost. Haskell memories on top of it all! He was one of the world's great eccentrics and plantsmen.
Anonymous: Well how would I know if I knew you? And the thing about writing about this stuff is that you find out that you aren't alone--something reading has done for me over the years, and why I now delve into this world....
Irit: What a fantastic journey. And a cool idea, meeting your husband every once in a while and enjoying each other without the daily tumult. Please keep us posted from Israel. I hope some day to visit there.
Scribbler: Why wouldn't you belong in such a corner? Everyone does, at least from time to time! You can't imagine the strange corners I get into. Thanks for checking in.
And Marcy: I got lots of emails about taking baths! Must be pent up need for permission to run the hot water and sit a spell. THANKS ALL!
- March 26, 2010 at 8:40 AM
- Dominique said...
lostpastremembered: looking forward to reading you; and you got it, totally thrown off balance. took me a while to recover....Great Julia Child quote! thanks!
- March 26, 2010 at 8:42 AM
- Julie said...
My brother in Malta sent me this link, but I have enjoyed following Dominique B. for years. The writing is always personal, graceful and connected to the moment. In short, the writing is pleasurable always.
I think the blog is fabulous and a perfect theater for your talents, Dominique. You are inspiring.
Julie M.
- March 26, 2010 at 8:57 AM
- Anonymous said...
It is totally impossible. I came to your conclusions in another way. I was married for 30 years or so and my husband left. We had grown up together. For 4 years this depressing feeling followed me. This past weekend after talking to my adult daughter I had a calm feeling. I could continue on. I could enjoy my gardening and house and finally feel happy!
- March 26, 2010 at 9:06 AM
- Mary T. Wagner said...
I love your blog!! Can't wait to explore it at leisure, which there is none of this morning. But in the vein of slowing down, I wrote an essay for MORE.com which I think will ring familiar for you, "Going Nowhere Slow" about finding the joy in small things. http://www.more.com/2051/8438-going-nowhere---slow
Congratulations on your creative successes and rebirth!
- March 26, 2010 at 9:16 AM
- nancers said...
just read your article in the New York Times...I am reinventing myself after the end of a 27 year marriage...started graduate school, selling our beloved family home, parenting teenagers turned adults...your article spoke to me, and I so appreciate your beautifully ascetic style of writing. Coming home to yourself and facing your fears are two very challenging and necessary endeavors that offer so much reward...thank you for sharing your heart.
- March 26, 2010 at 9:26 AM
- Margaret Roach said...
There is a lot of tea here, too, and a lot of window-gazing. Basking is a good word for it. Congratulations on the upcoming book.
- March 26, 2010 at 9:35 AM
- Stephanie said...
When my kids were growing up, I'd often say that you never know when your words are going to be the ones to make a difference in someone's life...and YOUR's were just what I needed, just when I needed them.
- March 26, 2010 at 9:36 AM
- Sarah said...
oh dominique,
i was simply overjoyed to come across your site on design*sponge this morning. i'm sure i echo the sentiments of many of your readers when i say how much i've missed your voice. i simply adored your editor's letters for h&g. every now and again i would search online to find a piece written by you, just to get a little boost. and now, a book...and a blog. happy spring indeed! thank you....
- March 26, 2010 at 9:44 AM
- brooke @ claremont road said...
This is something I've struggled with for, well, forever. I'm 29 and I was always a worry-wart as a kid. I lightened up a lot over the years, but I look back and still see how much time I wasted worrying and being scared of what was to come. I look back on my college years and wish I hadn't stressed myself out over so many projects for my design classes (stressing always made the final product worse, anyway -- I bet I would have been a stronger designer had I just learned how to relax).
A few months ago I did something sort of crazy -- I quit my job and began the journey of self-employment. I'm incredibly proud of myself because for the first time in a long time, I just told myself to not worry, go for my dream, and relax. I have moments of panic and fear (I am human, after all), but for the most part I am just trying to savor the control I have over my destiny right now and I'm trying to enjoy more moments of my everyday. I'm trying to enjoy those spontaneous moments with my husband more, not worry too much about my income (we rent and we don't have kids or credit card debt -- we'll figure it out if I am not swimming in money every month), and not work myself into a tizzy every day. I'm happier than I've ever been.
- March 26, 2010 at 9:49 AM
- Katie Hutchison said...
I think you've hit on a nerve. Many of us during this slow economy are learning to appreciate small moments and the happiness they can bring us when we take the time to be present.
I've written a bit about the happiness of place and wonder if it might interest you http://www.katiehutchison.com/house-enthusiast/the-happiness-of-place.html
I look forward to following your evolving Slow Love Life.
- March 26, 2010 at 9:57 AM
- Candice said...
I would like to tell you how much impact you have made on my life. But here is not the place. I will just say that I read every House and Garden magazine, starting with your column. I wrote to you one day, Letter to the Editor, in response to a story about the boys growing up. You published my letter. And now, with that encouragement in the back of my mind, I am writing a book.
I have a blog, it is sort of The Book. And now I will follow your blog and buy your book. I look forward to it . I look forward to spending time reading everything here, as if it came in the mail, once a month, to inspire me in my home and the way I view life and the house and the garden etc :)
Wishing you nothing but Good Good Luck in all you do and I am so glad I found this blog.
- March 26, 2010 at 10:01 AM
- scribbler50 said...
Of course you're right, Dominique, I guess I was just comparing hearts and flowers to saloons and cocktail hours, pointing out how different our content is. And so to ensure that I "belong" and make a return visit, I've just returned the favor on my blog roll.
All the best!
- March 26, 2010 at 10:18 AM
- Anonymous said...
The past few decades of rampant consumerism has turned out to be a farce hasn't it? After all, it turns out we aren't defined by our real estate and our possessions.
- March 26, 2010 at 10:46 AM
- Anonymous said...
I can't find your email address on here, but just wanted to write you a note to let you know how moved I was by your NYT magazine piece, which I read today. As someone who also lost her job (not by choice), I can relate to so much of what you say -- the hoarding of office supplies, the sleeplessness, the panic, and the struggle to find a new rhythm. Your piece is an inspiration. Thank you
- March 26, 2010 at 11:22 AM
- Melissa said...
It is so lovely to have found your gracious and soothing writing again, albeit a different medium. As a long time reader of HG I would always eagerly read your prose in the beginning before enjoying the rest of the magazine, knowing it would set the tone and inevitably invade my psyche. I was saddened by it's closing and hoped that you would resurface to share your thoughts another day. Happily, you have done so, and with a theme and demeanor so comforting and optimistic during a time of such uncertainty. Thank you. For your courage to share and your wisdom, hard earned.
- March 26, 2010 at 11:45 AM
- Unknown said...
Dominique, I just discovered you in the NYT today! Thank you for sharing your story. How brave, true and compelling. It is clear that you are hitting a nerve with so many of us today. I especially appreciate your reminder to slow down and bask in all of sensations and feelings that make up the now.
Mary Oliver's poetry, and this line in particular, has been a call to action for me:
"To live in this world you must be able to do three things: to love what is mortal; to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; and, when the time comes to let it go, to let it go."
With gratitude.
- March 26, 2010 at 11:55 AM
- patty said...
So glad to know you are here with beautiful photos and calming words - I always read your editorials for H & G. I noticed yesterday that tons of poppies are blooming around town (Berkeley) and a neighbor of mine has some heavenly scented sweet peas by his fence. When I feel worried or frazzled by life, it's good to just walk around outside and see all the life out there, sometimes rather hidden or ignored.
I look forward to reading more from you - thank you.
- March 26, 2010 at 12:12 PM
- Anonymous said...
I have always enjoyed your editor pieces and look forward to the new book. I think women especially feel guilty with success or happiness, because its about us and not about others. Its hard to own it sometimes, our success.
My business will have an amazing year this year after a disapointing one last year. I was having lunch with a banker friend and saying that and caught myself. The thoughts had started "did I dare?" "what if you say it" - could I say "I am succeeding" and not beg some sort of cosmic retribution?
And having a daughter and sons - its a challenge to make sure they know - success and failure are mostly your doing. Take responsibility for both.
China Blonde
- March 26, 2010 at 12:26 PM
- Anonymous said...
Just read the NYT article. I also lost a job I loved, no warning, just poof. I was in a daze for a month. I visited friends overseas and the sheer distance from daily rituals proved enormously helpful to me. I returned home, still unemployed, but ready to figure out the next chapter. And you are so right about basking in the small daily beauties around us -- the cardinal flitting from tree to tree, the first curls of parsley emerging from the patio pot, the deliciousness of a mussel. I used to laugh when my mother urged me to stop and smell the roses. Now I am glad to do just that.
- March 26, 2010 at 12:54 PM
- John said...
Very meditative piece in the NY Times, you would like Rousseau's Reveries of a Solitary Walker... I lost my job, also in writing and editing in New York, as a result of layoffs a year and a half ago, the day I returned from my honeymoon actually, so I very much share the sentiments you have expressed.
- March 26, 2010 at 12:59 PM
- Maria Petrova said...
Dear beautiful, beautiful Dominique....
I am so moved by your words...
I am so moved and so grateful...
Thank you so much for speaking
my tragedy for me, because when it
happened, I couldn't speak it
for myself
Thank you...
Thank you...
For me it was 2005, and by now I'm
so much better, but oh there is
that raw place of "I am useless"
Thank you...
Thank you...
I have preordered your book and
am so thrilled I'll be getting it soon.
If you'd like a little happy experiment,
I'd love to give you a free,
no strings BodyTalk session :)
Its a happy thing :)
Much much love — Maria Petrova
- March 26, 2010 at 12:59 PM
- teresa said...
I think I just had an A HA moment.
- March 26, 2010 at 1:03 PM
- Anonymous said...
I've never posted a comment on a blog before now, but I have to tell you that after reading the Times story, I devoured every single entry here. All have been inspiring, uplifting and so beautiful, thank you.
- March 26, 2010 at 1:30 PM
- PurestGreen said...
Lovely Candice has drawn my attention to your blog and I'm so thrilled. I'm always happy to find other creatures who trust in the wisdom of periodic, pleasurable languishing.
Wonderful, wonderful. Will return often for a dose of slow love. :)
- March 26, 2010 at 2:25 PM
- tdm said...
Dominique, to read your musings once more is a delight. I will confess to hording my much thumbed copies of House & Garden Truely it was a marvelous magazine, and an true accomplishment of which you should be proud. Your columns were always a welcome feature. Having also gone through similar upheavals in my professional life, your wry and heartfelt comments ring true.
'Learning to live better' has in part been my mantra I suppose, as the baby steps are being taken forward - with the occasional glance backward to establish the degree of progress.
Best wishes and eagerly looking forward to seeing more of your excellent work!
- March 26, 2010 at 2:30 PM
- David said...
A lot of people are glad to hear your voice Dominique. Haskell the rascal. Queen Beatrice of the Netherlands (I think) used to send her head gardener over once a year for topiaries. And then there's the story of his camel Lester. I remember him saying one day "the Garden Club of America is coming Monday and we're flossing the cobblestones". Losing a garden, losing a house. I don't know which is worse. So many stories and adventures.
- March 26, 2010 at 2:46 PM
- Anonymous said...
Hi Dominique,
I read your NYTimes article and could really understand your feeling of missing the collective sigh of relief that comes along with Fridays. I really missed that too when I first became unemployed.
I started a blog in January about living with intention & slowing life down and I'd love for you to check it out! I really enjoyed your article and look forward to checking out your book!
- March 26, 2010 at 3:31 PM
- Lee Nicholson said...
Perfectly and sweetly said. I too don't allow myself to bask in the glow of good news for fear it might go away or not happen if I get TOO happy about it.
- March 26, 2010 at 3:48 PM
- Ed Hamlin said...
Perfect article.
I had also just read the post over at "The CLick", Trent Nelson's blog.
I can relate to your story. Last year after working for a friend in the demolition business, as a senior level manager for over five years, was laid off.
Thus began the job search and also the following of a passion the smoldered in my live of it's years. I was torn in what I should do and there had always been a level of fear the precluded talking steps to follow the life I should have. It has been a challenge, yet I don't think I could live with myself if I continued to live a life in safe jobs and income. So I continue the pursuit as a photographer and press foward know that I am not the only one that is doing so.
I live in a location in southern California, when I sit on a hill or mountain top in the evenings, and I anticipate Gods great creation in a variety of sunsets.
It is my daily baske in the warmth at the end of each day.
- March 26, 2010 at 6:04 PM
- Marion Roach Smith said...
There are few things that a good cup of tea cannot improve. That, and a fine lipstick. Or a fine cup of tea and a good lipstick. Write on, sister.
- March 26, 2010 at 6:21 PM
- angela min said...
Oh, I am thrilled to find your wonderful blog (through NY Times). As an interior designer, gardener and divorced mother, I have always found inspiration and strength in reading your words, and going through the magazine every month. Now, i will follow your beautiful blog. Thank you for sharing it with all of us.
- March 26, 2010 at 8:06 PM
- Vajra said...
Thank you so much. I'm so glad I found your blog after reading your beautiful meditation on loss in The New York Times. It reminds me of Emily Dickinson's "After great pain a formal feeling comes--". The round of days after losing an integral part of our persona is fraught with pain, silliness, and progress. Again, thank you.
- March 26, 2010 at 9:01 PM
- Mrs. Blandings said...
You can't imagine how happy I am to find you here.
- March 26, 2010 at 10:00 PM
- Sera said...
Dear Dominique,
I, too, came across your blog via the NYTimes article, and feel your voice speaks deeply from my heart. I find myself relating to your unemployment from a very different place, but feeling the very same, universal things.
I am a recent college graduate, who has been (thus far) simply lost to this economy. I'm unemployed before I even had a moment to 'bask' in the glory of success and following through with my passions.
Almost mirroring you, I find myself fearing I will never get to experience that which you found yourself losing, the 'Forever House' that I have envisioned myself creating memories with my future family.
I ache for comfort and security, not in a material sense, but in personal accomplishment or, yes I'll say it, worth.
Finding you has allowed me to be reminded (once again) that I am not alone, that the failure is external.
I immediately messaged Grace Bonney via twitter to thank her for giving you that extra push. I look forward to your companionship via blog while I find my way back into, or rather out of myself.
- March 26, 2010 at 11:14 PM
- Karena said...
Lovely, Dominique, and so fitting. I have had this experience so many times and then have had to tell myself to live in the moment!
Art by Karena
- March 26, 2010 at 11:39 PM
- Tracy Watier said...
Ms Browning, I'm so happy to have found you here (via Mrs Blandings) and just finished reading first post to last. Your blog is lovely - the writing, of course, but the look of things too. Your essays in H&G were my favorite part of that magazine - first thing I'd turn to. Whether you wrote about your home or garden or family, you validated my own interests in and appreciation for the simple, ordinary moments that I've always found so extraordinary. I've followed you since as much as I've been able - books, newspapers, etc - but to have you here in my laptop every day?! (that sounds weird, doesn't it?) Thank you for sharing yourself in such an accessible way. I'll be reading along. And am off now to find your new book...
- March 27, 2010 at 1:34 AM
- Anonymous said...
Wonderful piece in the Times, Dominique - looking forward to your book. Frankly, your editor's page in H&G never did it for me. Too forced, or effete, or something. But this...this... Best writing you've ever done. Truly felt, and funny. As a longtime freelance writer, gardener, single parent of grown children, recently relocated from forever home to country cottage, we have much in common - except I never had a high-powered job to lose. But I learned the joy of pajamas and the slow life long ago. Glad you've discovered it and started a blog. All best to you in these new endeavors. Cara
- March 27, 2010 at 4:32 AM
- Anonymous said...
- March 27, 2010 at 7:51 AM
- Jill Sharp Brinson said...
Ecstatic beyond belief to know that you are now back among the living and writing - can't tell you how much I always enjoyed your POV and editorials -
Ordering the book now!
Lovely to find you again!
- March 27, 2010 at 8:05 AM
- Anonymous said...
Your blog was forwarded to me by a dear friend, and I'm so thankful that she shared her discovery with me.
Re: Happiness - I think it's so important to be able to realize it when we're in it and enjoying it, as your writing reminded me. It seems that all too often, we look for other, perhaps more elusive things to bring us happiness, when the gift of joy can come from something that's right under our noses.
I have an Edith Wharton quote up on my fridge:
"If we'd stop trying to be happy, we'd have a pretty good time."
Reading your blog, I am happy. Thanks again.
The Well-Versed Mom
- March 27, 2010 at 8:08 AM
- Marnie said...
I have thoroughly enjoyed your blog this cold March morning with my cups of coffee - and your piece in the NYT - and your link to SPI - you have a lot to give and share - thank you - I will take the image of the kayak pushing out from the muddy shore and the sounds, smells, feelings that glide along with it, on my journey today. Each day you start again.
- March 27, 2010 at 8:25 AM
- pve design said...
Wonderful to spawn awareness and grant each individual permission to "bask" in life by slowing down and loving the stillness - and leaving the dishes for something more fun.
- March 27, 2010 at 8:47 AM
- Vava (aka Virginia) said...
I've hit the motherlode....finding your blog. I shall admit to being an enormous fan of your writing; and was literally ill when I 'lost' you. Ms. Browning...I've just spent my morning with a most delicious cup of coffee reading your blog from beginning to end. My soul rings after reading your words. We are both to be 55 this year and although I am unable to express myself as well, YOUR words do it for me. I've pre-ordered your newest and simply cannot wait! I am over-the-moon-giddy that you are blogging.
- March 27, 2010 at 9:10 AM
- Erik Proulx said...
Like others here, I just found your story in the NYT Magazine. You are part of a movement, Dominique. This discovery of yours is powerful and your gift is passing it on to others. It's something I tried to do as well after losing my (third) job. If you have two minutes & seventeen seconds, watch this trailer for a movie called Lemonade: http://lemonademovie.com. (Full disclosure: I produced it). And even if you don't, thank you for helping me confirm that we're on the right path.
- March 27, 2010 at 9:14 AM
- lin said...
Love the kayak metaphor. A magnificent way to bask in nature, in the feel of sun on skin and muscles still moving the boat through the water. Thank you!
- March 27, 2010 at 9:42 AM
- Dominique said...
- March 27, 2010 at 10:09 AM
- Pamela Terry and Edward said...
Well, this is a complete treat! I just found you this morning and I am thrilled. As I still experience a monthly twinge of sadness that I can no longer find House and Garden in my mailbox, of which your column was my favourite part, I am so happy to find you writing here. And I wait excitedly for your new book!
Welcome to the blogosphere!
- March 27, 2010 at 10:46 AM
- Food and Fate said...
Thank you for your honesty and sharing. Reading your article in The Times also acknowledged my loss, my lonliness, my anger. It made me realize over the last 5 1/2 years when my husband died, how much I needed to deal with in my grief. I got very busy when I took over his journal (TELOS) as publisher. I found my passion when I started writing my first cookbook and personal story "Breaking Bread in L'Aquila". During the process, I realized that being mindful was a bitch. My sincere congratulations on your book!
The birth of my book "Breaking Bread in L'Aquila" will also be available on April 6th at www.telospress.com/foodandfate
Here's to gratitute and hope!
- March 27, 2010 at 10:52 AM
- Kris Decker said...
Thank you for your lovely words and inspiring thoughts. I've been struggling too, bemoaning the absence of work; the soul-sucking, energy draining clawing for more of it; and the paradox of crippling fear and shoulder-shrugging apathy when at last, new assignments are finally bestowed upon me. It bolsters my shaky sense of self to see that I am not alone. I look forward to basking in more of your words and wisdom.
- March 27, 2010 at 11:13 AM
- Farmgirl Susan said...
Thank you for writing this. Everything you said is so very true.
Even out here on a remote farm, living the 'simple' life (which is actually very complicated), I find myself doing the exact same thing - worrying about everything else instead of basking in the good moments.
Since I started blogging five years ago, I've carried my camera with me everywhere around the farm. The other day it was raining, and I was down in the sheep barn cursing because I didn't have my camera and had just missed several great photos.
Then I stopped myself. Just stand there and enjoy these unique moments for what they are. You spend all year long taking care of your sheep so you can enjoy the little lambs - and yet you aren't even enjoying them.
So I did.
And this morning when I found myself fretting while unsuccessfully trying to snap a decent picture of our one week old chicks and their mama, I finally let go of the camera and watched them through only my eyes.
And it was wonderful.
Congratulations on your new blog and your book! I'm looking forward to reading more.
- March 27, 2010 at 11:23 AM
- Phil said...
It's a great Saturday morning, and I should be walking or doing something in the house, but your Times article caught my eye, and I finished every last word. Well done. Who would have thought at age 25 that being 55 would bring with it passion, or wisdom, or a certain hopeful world-weariness? Having lost a wife to cancer, remarrying, and being told on the eve of our 8th anniversary that "we need to talk" (which signaled the end of that hopefulness), I now relish time with my granddaughter, amazed at the resiliency of both of my kids as grownups. I still take really bad pictures with my digital camera, but I'm learning. You know, not everything has to be in focus all of the time to be appreciated.
Keep up the good work, and good luck!
- March 27, 2010 at 11:53 AM
- sarah meredith said...
Like the previous commenters, I am so happy to have found this lovely blog. As a painter, I understand all too well the struggle to simply stop and feel good for a minute about what I have accomplished. I am not yet at the point where I can sit with a cup of tea and look out the window, but as a way of combatting the feelings of failure, I started a photography blog where anything goes. The process gives me pleasure and since I am not a photographer, I don't beat myself up if I take a bad picture or if I don't post on an absolutely regular schedule.
- March 27, 2010 at 12:14 PM
- debbie millman said...
OMGoodness, now I can (thankfully) bask in your beautiful words again! I was one of your House & Garden readers with a subscription for another 10 years when Conde Nast shut it down. I felt as if I'd lost a friend, a mentor, and a confidante. The best part of the magazine, and the only *real* reason I read it, was your editor's letter. I remember coming home from a long day, opening the mailbox and upon finding your magazine, making a beeline to my sofa (still in my coat) to read your column. I have every one of your books and can't wait to read this new one! Congratulations on all of your new ventures; I wish you much happiness, success and love in this new and wonderful chapter of your life.
- March 27, 2010 at 12:45 PM
- debbie millman said...
Oh and one more thing--I will never, ever forget your extraordinary column about your son's remarkable science project--"evidence of love on a stuffed animal."
Thank you, Dominique, thank you.
- March 27, 2010 at 12:54 PM
- Vava (aka Virginia) said...
So, I am backward. Was so excited to hear of the blog, came here first. JUST read the Times article. Oh my. Intertidal years @ 55 - myself. A conversation with God-daily, if not hourly. DO enjoy yourself!
- March 27, 2010 at 1:11 PM
- debra @ 5th and state said...
your post spoke to our lives. my husband just lost his job; 37 years. as he finds his footing i continue to run my company at break neck speed. having created a monster i long for slowing down and really seeing life.
i feel as though i have just met my "field guide"
do know you have been missed....horribly
- March 27, 2010 at 2:19 PM
- Linda Mann said...
Hi, Dominique...
Just LOVED your NYT piece today and look forward to reading your book. Today's blog post has such an important message...and, believe me, I'm trying to incorporate more 'basking' and reflecting and gratitude into my own life. It's not easy, but your words are inspiring.
I really admire your honesty...and I'm happy that you had the courage to share your feelings with the rest of us.
- March 27, 2010 at 2:54 PM
- La Maison Fou said...
Bonjour Dominique;
I have come to your blog via Patricia, aka. Ms. Blandings.
I used to love to read your editorials! I must catch up on your blog.
A lot of good reading I am sure.
- March 27, 2010 at 4:40 PM
- Elizabeth Karnes Keefe said...
Dear Dominique - I am the woman who sent the Connaught Hotel towel; I still have your note pinned to the bulletin board in my Vermont kitchen.
I have missed your columns and I am delighted to have read the Times article and to 'hear' from you again! Warmest wishes, Elizabeth Keefe
- March 27, 2010 at 6:43 PM
- Jonathan Streeter said...
Your lyrical, humble, inspiring and funny words spoke very deeply to me. If anything good came of your tragedy (for surely losing a job you love is a tragedy for people like us), the fact that you were able to give voice to the experience with such stunning accuracy is a start. And now, there is reinvention of daily life and perhaps a new plan. Having just gone back to work a year after losing my own best job ever, I walk around the office looking at others as if they were strange beasts from an alien planet. Yet how I long to be one of them again.
- March 27, 2010 at 7:48 PM
- Dominique said...
LEMONADEMOVIE.COM--watch the trailer! Fantastic, and inspiring. You will want to share it with everyone you know who has lost a job--or should lose their job and find their passion. THANK YOU ERIK PROULX and keep us posted on your work. d
- March 27, 2010 at 8:53 PM
- Linda Landig said...
I will be retiring in two months and must relearn a slower, deeper life. I loved this piece, especially "I made a cup of tea and sat in a sunny window, gazing out at the cold ground, looking at a gorgeous crocus pushing out through matted leaves, letting the feeling of happiness just rush through my veins, feeling--and holding--it in my belly. Lovely." I'm looking forward to those cup-of-tea moments. I want to relish the present tense--to inhabit the moment fully.
- March 27, 2010 at 10:09 PM
- Anonymous said...
8:30AM and awake now for nearly 24 hours. 'Check the Times Magazine', I said. Surely I will find some sublime distraction from my endless thoughts and fears over the sudden and unexpected end of my career and relationship (how could he leave me at such a vulnerable time?!).
"Losing It" caught my eye and suddenly I was reading my own story only written far more poignantly than I ever could. "...my anthem for that year, the most eloquent expression of grief I ever read: "I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint: my heart is like wax; it is melted in the midst of my bowels."
Without the support of your family and friends and the wonderful logistical options you had, Dominique, I am wondering how long it would have taken you to recover into the inspiring state you now inhabit. For me it seems too far to even imagine.
But your writing and blog have offered me a glimmer of daylight and for that I thank you.
- March 28, 2010 at 8:50 AM
- Martha Bright said...
Hi Dominique,
I just read your beautiful beautiful piece in the NY Times and came to your blog. I lost my adjunct teaching job last May. I always had one foot in my classroom and one foot at home, and had been slowly shuffling towards home in the past couple of years, seeing my job more and more as an irritating distraction.
Years ago I had been so jealous of my hotshot scientist husband but now I am happy at his success and happy to tell people that I stay home and paint and take care of my plants and animals. I am happy to ride my horses and to enjoy the entire process, not rushing to fit a ride in and angry that it's taking so long to get them to settle down enough to be ridden.
There is so much to enjoy in a day (though winter can be challenging) and so much to do that I don't know how I ever worked full time blabbing in front of apathetic students and reading wretched essays. They weren't all like that, of course, but so much of my time was taken up saying and reading the same things over and over again. I am so happy to be free, and so lucky that I can be without anxiety.
- March 28, 2010 at 8:56 AM
- Unknown said...
Dominique: I was so glad to read your piece in the New York Times and find your blog--feels like re-connecting with an old friend. Loved the bits about wanting to hoard the bread sticks and otherwise feed that inner voice. I'm looking forward to reading Slow Love.
- March 28, 2010 at 9:27 AM
- Anonymous said...
"Was it superstition? If I'm happy, that means I could become unhappy…."
Or for me, if I'm happy does that mean I'm satisfied with not being what I thought I'd be? I'm OK with what would seem like a failure to my younger self?
Thank you for your article in the times.
- March 28, 2010 at 9:31 AM
- Kay Cannon said...
Dominique, add me to the countless other devoted House & Garden readers who are thrilled to find you again! I've missed your voice. I love your writing and how you courageously share your thoughts whatever they may be.
I am passing along your story to my Type A readers. We can all benefit from your wisdom and learning. Thank you for putting yourself out there.
- March 28, 2010 at 11:38 AM
- commonweeder said...
Dominique - how wonderful to wake up and find your article in the NYTimes this morning. I miss your editorials in H&G and look forward to the book. I think intertidal times are necessarily less than comfortable, but growth comes because of some tension. And it looks like you are growing in sensible and joyful ways.
- March 28, 2010 at 11:41 AM
- Gigi said...
Stunning. Your blog, as others have said, is a poignant representation of so many lives limping through a limbo not of their doing. I was a sleepwalker for nine months - long enough to give birth to a mortal, I told myself, and long enough to give birth to a new life. Finally, finally. I slowly began to rise from that boggy swamp, batting at the fog that threatened to obscure my vision and pull me back down. I know when I crested the hill. I waded through two books that sat unread for years on my bookshelf: When Smart People Fail and Transitions. It was - through this reading - the recognition that so many bright, talented people had been sucked into that very same mire where I had lain for so long - and that their journeys back took much time (months for most, years for some). And it was the recognition that I would find my way back. That the grief cycle I denied I was having was playing out, and would have its way regardless of my loud objections. And once I saw that I was in good company, from this decade and others (When Bad Things... is an old book), I packed up the shame and the pain along with the dishes. I realized that those who kept their jobs are still in that restrictive little box (whether cubicle or corner office) that keeps them marching to a tune of callous indifference, and that they are more afraid than I am, now.
- March 28, 2010 at 11:42 AM
- Anonymous said...
I found your excerpt in the NYT magazine this morning at a moment when anxiety was ping-ponging around my mind so frantically I wasn't sure I would overcome it this time. But there was your story, so beautiful and so sharp, cutting right to the place where all the pain lives. I have not wept while reading in a very long time, but your words, they released something that needed out.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
- March 28, 2010 at 12:16 PM
- Kimberly said...
Just read your piece in the Times, then came to your blog, and saved it into my "Favorites," because I know it will be!
You speak to so many of us when you talk about being elated one minute, then fretting over small irritations the next. I do this way too much, and have recently vowed to stop, telling myself, "enjoy the successes!" But old habits die hard.
Still, reading your NY Times piece and now your blog, I am reminded of the need to practice awareness at all times, so, many thanks!!
- March 28, 2010 at 12:25 PM
- nyc/caribbean ragazza said...
I was a subscriber to H&G and was glad to see your byline in the NYTimes.
Your beautifully written article really spoke to me.
A few years ago the company I worked for shut down suddenly. I worked 24/7, didn't make a lot of money, and we closed two weeks before Christmas. I was in quite a state.
I was going to go to Italy for the first time the following year but put the trip on hold so I could focus on finding a job.
My family, worried about my mental state, insisted I take some time off. I went to Rome for a week. Everything changed.
Two years ago I left L.A. and moved to an apartment the size of a shoe-box in Rome.
I know quite a few expats would love/relate to your article so I posted a link to it today on my blog.
I look forward to reading your book and I'm very happy us H&G fans have a chance to read your writing again.
- March 28, 2010 at 12:33 PM
- Anonymous said...
What a pleasant surprise to find you in yesterday's New York Times. I've missed hearing your voice.
Your words could not have come to me at a better time as I find myself on a very similar journey. Not at all where I expected to be at this stage of the game, but somehow, your words have given me the courage to get out of my pajamas and get on with it. For that, I sincerely thank you.
And may I say that I am absolutely horrified by some of the comments directed at you via the Times article. What an embarrassingly cruel and thoughtless people we have become. I'm so sorry that you have had to read such things.
Thank you for sharing your story. I wish you only the best.
Down (but not quite out) in Detroit
- March 28, 2010 at 12:52 PM
- JLocke said...
Loved the piece in the NY Times mag. You caught the spirit of the times we live in. Would it not be great if the silver lining of the personal devastation around us was a rebirth of introspection and a renewed focus on the basics?
- March 28, 2010 at 1:29 PM
- Kristie Strasen said...
Dominique - I have spent a wonderful morning with you - first reading the piece in the Times, then exploring your blog - then exploring your favorite blogs. It has been the perfect pursuit on a chilly March Sunday. Thank you for coming back to us in such a wonderful form. I always loved your piece at the front of H & G but this is so much better! Best wishes!
- March 28, 2010 at 1:43 PM
- Anonymous said...
Like stepping-stones in water, your blog is a bridge that spans a thundering torrent, still water or quiet streams. You are building a zigzagging Yatsuhashi bridge for your readers. Rather than taking us directly across the water, your Yatsuhashi bridge causes us to move slowly and indirectly, and leads us to contemplate the views to be seen as we cross. Namaste
- March 28, 2010 at 2:07 PM
- Anonymous said...
I am sure many women reading your piece in the Times, reacted as I did...she's writing about me!
You made me smile with the peanut butter. I have this belief that when once married former career women are on their own again, we have a lot of college dorm life left in us.
I look forward to buying your new book.
- March 28, 2010 at 2:09 PM
- DonnaB said...
I was first interested, then touched, then riveted by your piece in the NYT Magazine this morning. Considering retirement soon- wondering if I can manage "being" instead of so much "doing". Then- the PIANO part... it brought tears to my eyes. Why do we hesitate to make time for what feeds us and makes us whole?
- March 28, 2010 at 2:30 PM
- Linda Connolly said...
Hello Dominique, I am about to read your NYT piece but first clicked on your blog to take a peek. What a lovely conversation! Can't wait to read the piece. Also, I want you to know that I have always enjoyed your writing, especially as I would read through many magazines on cross-country flights in my former life as a consultant. Looking forward to reading more and many thanks to you for your beautiful work and sharing.
Linda Connolly
- March 28, 2010 at 3:17 PM
- Allia Zobel Nolan said...
Nice article; congrats on your book. Your writing is lovely.
I, too, have always had trouble accepting joy. I wrote about it in my book, The Worrywart's Prayer Book. You feel as if you don't deserve it, and if you do get it, you're waiting for the other shoe to drop and something bad to come as your dessert. I went through a similar time in my life, so I hear you. But you're where you need to be right now to grow into who you will be tomorrow (if I may be so bold as to offer that advice.)
So,hang in there. The day is coming when you'll wake up and not care whether it's Friday or Saturday, because it will be just be Yourday...another day to rejoice that you'll alive...another day to do some more "basking."
All the best,
(written in my pjs.)
- March 28, 2010 at 3:21 PM
- Hill Country House Girl said...
What a wonderful post and follow up comments. Like so many, I forget to "bask" and get caught up in the stuff of daily life. Then, something tragic happens and I am shaken to the core, and I realize, again and again, that none of us has any guarantees that we will even be here tomorrow. I wish i didn't forget this lesson, but I do, time and again. Thanks for the reminder to enjoy life and to look for the joy - it is there and we can choose to see it and bask in it!
- March 28, 2010 at 3:26 PM
- Kathleen Zavotsky said...
I just finished reading your article in the Times. I have never written on or in a blog before, but I felt so compelled to write to you. First and foremost you are an incredible writer. My house was literally filled with crazy things going(dog vomiting, teenager whining, etc..) but I could not stop reading.
You will surely be an inspiration to many people and I am sure your book will be very popular with Book Clubs all over the country.
Can't wait to get the book! Cheers.
- March 28, 2010 at 4:21 PM
- Marie said...
Perhaps we feel joy is overrated? Perhaps it is its anticipation that fuels us? The feeling of sadness in the middle of spring just as the all the magnolias have opened...'it's over'?
The best we can do is notice and keep noticing.
Lovely blog.
- March 28, 2010 at 4:37 PM
- Dee @ Red Dirt Ramblings said...
Beautifully written. I am the same way sometimes. I think we are afraid. It's too bad. You were smart to take that time of tea and sunshine. Here's sending more sunshine to you. Happy Spring.~~Dee
- March 28, 2010 at 5:44 PM
- Unknown said...
I just read all (6) pages of the NY Times pages you wrote! I had to slow down to do that.;-)
I used to read your mag. just to read you. Now, I'll be checking in here. I moved to RI in 2008 after my much missed sister left us. I lived in N. CA for 20 years. I do love RI, but it's a funny little place.:0 Thanks and take care. ~Colleen
- March 28, 2010 at 7:29 PM
- Marion MacKenzie said...
I really enjoyed your piece in the NY Times magazine as well. It very much resonated with me. Congratulations on your beatiful blog!
- March 28, 2010 at 7:39 PM
- Kathryn said...
Hi, Dominique, Followed John Byrne's tweet to your NYT piece. Congratulations on working through your deepest fears and coming out on the other side. Given your description of CN I'm guessing the Universe decided you could do lots more good on this side of the coin. I would agree. Well done. :) Kathryn/plantwhateverbringsyoujoy.com
- March 28, 2010 at 8:27 PM
- Anonymous said...
Hi Dominique, I recently read your article in the Times magazine "Losing It." It really resonated with me at a time when I am facing a second layoff and a lingering divorce. It was nice to read of your struggles and how you are turning it around. Even though I wanted my divorce, it still left me feeling the same as you did. Thanks again!
- March 28, 2010 at 8:48 PM
- Kathy Kaiser said...
I too, enjoyed your piece. Almost two years ago, I found a cabin in the Colorado mountains, with the express purpose of slowing my life down and becoming aware of everything, without the distractions of modern life. Since then, I feel I'm on a mission to slow the world down, as well as myself. I'll be looking forward to reading your blog.
- March 28, 2010 at 8:51 PM
- red ticking said...
dear dominique,
my lovely friend patricia (pve) told me about your blog today.. so happy to have found you... i treasure the work you have done and i cannot wait to see what you do next! (yes, i have the book on "pre-order") cannot wait to read it. will you be doing a book tour? i would love to have you in my store if you come to seattle!
i so love what you are writing about ... cannot wait to read on....
- March 28, 2010 at 9:24 PM
- Anonymous said...
I loved your article in the NY Times. I've spent my career working in television as a programming and development exec. I left my last job in August and I've been basking in gratitude ever since. Your description of the seasons, noticing and experiencing weather and the sun's movements through out a given dead rang true. I feel as if this is the first spring I've ever experienced. Although I live in Southern California and the seasons are subtler they do still exist. I spent several days this week camping in Joshua Tree and marveling at the blooming desert. I'm elated I found your blog and look forward to tracking your journey as I continue on my own.
- March 29, 2010 at 12:32 AM
- Scot Meacham Wood said...
I sit here in my little home and wonder how it could be physically possible that I have never found your delightful prose before now.
To say that I am giddy is a simple understatement.
Suffice to say - I'm happy. And I plan on basking in it.
- March 29, 2010 at 12:44 AM
- Tara Dillard said...
Reading your NYTimes piece yesterday I was incredulous you only recently discovered the need to actively fill your spiritual well.
Your work in House & Garden ALWAYS filled my spiritual well. A client loaned me your books, you had filled her spiritual well. You were creating a village and didn't know it.
May Sarton's, Plant Dreaming Deep, taught me it was ok to fill my spiritual well with simple unspoken things. Sunlight streaming into a room at 4pm with fall's slant.
Your life since the magazine reminds me of May Sarton's. Oh, the pleasures ahead!
Garden & Be Well, XO Tara
- March 29, 2010 at 9:01 AM
- Roger said...
I have just read your article in the NYT. I lost my job in November after my firm suffered a financial setback. Ironically, one week before this event, I received an International Marketing Award but when the time came, I was marched out the door with a large number of other employees. I suppose there is a natural tendency to be identified by what one does for a living as it does provide a structure and orders your day. Like yourself, I am not always sure what day it is and feel guilty when my wife heads off for work. I have started building furniture to fill up the time not needed for the job search. Thanks for putting into words what so many people in our position feel as I no longer feel that what I am experiencing is unique.
Best regards,
- March 29, 2010 at 9:15 AM
- Anonymous said...
Grace full. You have a way of transforming an often quite-serious-about-itself Buddhist philosophy, into simple and sensitive, yet sensible prose, re-visioning arduous steps to enlightenment as an attainable quotidian quest.
Thank you for taking away my excuse (at least today's) for not keeping myself in the present moment.
alyssa dee krauss
- March 29, 2010 at 9:39 AM
- Layanee said...
Stop and look at the blue pollen on Scilla siberica and you will know joy. I think age competes with joy. I try to go back to the child within.
- March 29, 2010 at 9:47 AM
- Anonymous said...
Dear Dominique,
Just finished your NYT piece. Had to write to praise it and to check out your lovely blog. Being 78 and no longer in a working situation, I have found being at home one of the happiest stages in my life. As Bach and writing enrich your life, drawing, painting, collage and reading bring much joy to mine. I look forward to visiting your blog frequently.
Joan Gillman Smith
- March 29, 2010 at 10:25 AM
- Greet Lefèvre said...
Hi Dominique,
I am glad to have discovered your blog! I enjoyed your post of today! You are sooo right! We have to bring in a bit of time for ourself from time to time and we really have to learn to be happy!
PS Thank you so much for adding me to your bloglist!
- March 29, 2010 at 11:07 AM
- Emily Valli said...
Dear Dominique,
I read your wonderful piece in the NYT. Thank you so much for beginning these conversations about your lovely slower life. I have lived a simple, quiet life (by choice) for many years. I was influenced by the writings of Henry David Thoreau in my twenties...Walden changed the direction of my life.I have never regretted the path I have taken.
It is thrilling to read of your own rebirth. I look forward to reading and enjoying your blog.
Emily Valli
- March 29, 2010 at 11:58 AM
- Helen said...
Dear Dominique,
Loved your piece in the NYTimes. My favorite part of reading House & Gardens- was your editor's notes. I am so glad you are back! I always wanted to reach out to you and tell you that you should write a book. Reading your words and thoughts are truly mesmirizing. Your prose is like my favorite blanket- comforting and tangible.
Thank you,
Helen S. Levin
- March 29, 2010 at 1:15 PM
- Anonymous said...
Dear Dominique,
I enjoyed readng the piece on you in the NYT. I visited the EDF site and there, saw your very impressive bio. It reminded me of my own transition from work into something I'm still unsure of. I left a major media company (where I was an editor) in 2000 after having two books published, worked in magazines, had an assortment of odd jobs and went back to school. I can't say this is true for you, but I found myself listing great thing I'd done as if to justify my existence on bios. It's exhausting. After going into a structured space for years, I still felt a need to organize "what I do." I say all this to say, we/I hear you. As you continue, I challenge you to feel less like you have to overexplain your past. You are great not because of what you do or have done, but because of who you are. Congrats on the new book. And hooray for thinking about the environment. I am only now understanding that personal consumption is an every day reality.
- March 29, 2010 at 1:18 PM
- Anonymous said...
Ms. Browning, I so appreciate your sharing your poignant, deeply personal story in "Losing It" (NYT).
As a fellow traveler on this new path (at 55), grappling with this new "problem with no name", I too have spent time sorting out how to move forward. There are many stories of how other older achieving women reinvented themselves, but we all share the personal challenge of creating a new identity and structure after conventional work ends. Too young and vital to retire, we are all "vanguard scouts" in this uncharted land. One of my answers was to get a graduate degree at Harvard so now I'm writing a book about these "intertidal years".
Thanks for being an eloquent spokeswoman.
- March 29, 2010 at 1:48 PM
- Anonymous said...
Dear Dominique,
I enjoyed reading your piece in the Times. As I read about your journey and how it led you to a slower life where you can enjoy the simple pleasures of conscious living I thought about my own situation. I have been enjoying that "simpler life" for many years and it has been great. I have had time to read, learn(earned a Master's Degree in History)and pursue various interests. In addition, I have been able to dedicate precious time to my husband, son (before he left for college), and to my aging parents and beloved disabled sister. In essence, I'm living the life I want to live and can thankfully live. I fulfill myself intellectually and have the pleasure of putting my time and efforts on the people and projects I care most about. Yet, a lot of people don't understand my choices and pressure me to do something with my life. They tell me that I should put my learning and time to better use. For some people if you don't have a title you don't really exist. But what they don't understand is that once a person learns to bask in the moment and enjoy the slowness of life their perspective about what is important in life changes. And I believe it changes for the better.
- March 29, 2010 at 3:14 PM
- B. Alexandra Szerlip said...
You've discovered what we serial freelance/contractors with occasional full-time positions have known for years -- that self-discipline and setting one's own schedules (and goals) is infinitely harder in many ways than holding down a "real" job. Add to that: Try "selling" your own well-crafted concepts to companies who are a great "fit" and would benefit from them but only will consider things developed in-house. (An experience I've had several times on a range of projects.) And then sometimes having your work "stolen" in ways that leave no recourse.
When I DID have full-time positions (e,g, Series Editor for a then-new line of books about international customs), I kept that knowledge in mind when dealing with the writers & designers I hired, and whose contracts I negotiated.
I've working in publishing (writing, editing, copyediting, developmental editing, research, graphic design) for 25 years. There's been A LOT of hanging onto the paint by my fingernails. Still, I've managed to accumulate a resume that includes contributor writer/editor for a number of National Geographic books, lots of direct-mail catalogs, writing in-depth profiles of Pulitzer Prize winners, Academy Award winning costume designers, etc., designing two series of (literary) notecards that got international distribution, two NEA Writing Fellowships, etc etc.
I just finished designing a "thematic" map, am writing travel video scripts for Smartphones, and am at work on an absurdly ambitious biography.
Having grown up in a 'vintage' house, I only wish I could actually own one and literally tend my own garden. I don't imagine that ever happening. You're very very lucky.
- March 29, 2010 at 3:19 PM
- Unknown said...
You have quite a following. I am so glad to have found your thoughts. The NYT article opened my eyes and made me want to say..yes, and you will find the sunrise. Retirement reaps the same feelings. Now, I SEE the sunrise as I walk the dog, watch the fern unfold and read, knit, play my long dusty piano. I paint. It is my life. The 'bump in the road' aka pothole, is no longer important. Seeing life and feeling the day. I will read more of your heart I hope. Kittie
- March 29, 2010 at 6:29 PM
- Amy said...
Just read your essay in the Times Magazine-- what a wonderful piece. I immediately thought of a recently published book you may enjoy entitled "In the Face of Fear: Buddhist Wisdom for Challenging Times," edited by Barry Boyce. Though I wouldn't say I'm a Buddhist, or any particular religion for that matter, what nearly all faiths say about fear seems so basic to the human experience. Your essay echoes the very same struggles and delights examined in In the Face of Fear, Reading both your piece and the book has been a warm and reassuring experience for me. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, experiences, and discoveries.
Amy Marks Delaney
- March 29, 2010 at 7:08 PM
- Tom Fisher said...
I am sure you have had hundreds - probably thousands - of responses to the terrific excerpt from your new book in the Sunday Times Magazine, but I wanted you to know how true it sounded to me, a fellow editor who, 14 years ago, met the same fate as you did. I was the editorial director of Progressive Architecture, whose new owners told our staff on January 2nd, 1996, to pack up our belongings by that Friday.
I went on to become a dean (College of Design, University of Minnesota) and I now write books and about as many articles a year as I did when I was editing. Most of my colleagues also embarked on satisfying new adventures - book writing, newsletter editing, teaching, etc. As you so aptly describe in the Times piece, such sudden job loss and the eviction from our community of colleagues, however painful at the time, can be a blessing in disguise. I look forward to reading your book and reflecting on life after being an editor.
Tom Fisher
- March 29, 2010 at 8:17 PM
- Megan Taylor said...
Your blog is a treasure and I'm so happy to have found it. I completely relate to this post, as I did to your NYT magazine article (which I devoured, by the way...)
Isn't it strange how in our minds 'to stop' is such a task - as if we wouldn't naturally just slow down and relax? Whenever I am home and I try to melt into a cozy seat with a book, I am suddenly up and about! In the kitchen, radio on, fixing a snack, tidying up. And then I remember: wasn't I supposed to be doing something? Oh, yes...nothing. It's hard to do nothing, I so agree...
I made it my goal this past Sunday to be okay with just myself as company and to literally bask in the calm of the day. When I found myself in a patch of sun on my couch dozing off with my book slowly finding its way to floor, I knew I had made it!
Thank you for sharing these lovely posts. I look forward to reading your book!
- March 29, 2010 at 8:39 PM
- Anonymous said...
Couldn't resist commenting when i saw the title "Basking" and read about joy in your entry. My daughter, Joy, sent me the link to your NYTimes excerpt which i enjoyed very much. Thank you for taking the time and making the effort to write your story. 5 years ago i was widowed after a long and loving marriage. Sold our "Forever House" and moved to a cottage by a lake. Am now also watching 3 children bloom into inspiring adults. Last month i wrote this, and pardon me while i share our "oneness":
Widow's Delight
Cheese grater, salt shaker, olive oil,
dirty pots, clutter the counter top.
Still, I curl up in this little nook,
empty bowl poised on my thigh,
lick my salty fingers,
turn another page
and bask in the melody of rain
against these moonlit windows,
grateful for the mess in the kitchen
which gives me a reason to stand,
breathing alone, under the halogen bulb,
hip against the sink,
warm water rushing over my hands,
soap bubbles popping, almost imperceptibly.
Marlene Gallagher 2010
- March 29, 2010 at 9:53 PM
- Anonymous said...
Booted up my computer just to tell you that you are a wonderful writer. NYTimes mag-is my first acquaintance with you.
- March 30, 2010 at 12:36 AM
- Bicoastal Besties said...
Looking forward to reading your book in its entirety. I, too, am a magazine refugee, and based on your NYT excerpt, I think I'll be doing a lot of dog-earing, underlining and highlighting of your pages. I love the trinity in your title, and came up with one of my own:
- March 30, 2010 at 1:20 AM
- Chris Andrew said...
Just read your NY Times article. Beautiful, encouraging and I felt the honest fear. I'll remember... And what was I so afraid of? Being alone with myself long enough to wonder what is the purpose of my life?
- March 30, 2010 at 2:20 AM
- Penelope Bianchi said...
Dogs are really good at it. They live "in the moment"!
If you step on their foot; or their tail; they cry out! And when you apologize....they getoverit. Fast. No grudges, no hurt feelings. No resentment. Just happiness to be with you!
They also bask. Watch a dog......and you will see lots of basking.....in the sun!
And they don't "worry"!!! (Worry doesn't serve one single useful purpose I know of .) I had a friend who "worried her house would burn down"! Her whole life she worried about it.
Mine did. I had never "worried about it"! It would not have changed anything about the outcome! I actually think it helped!
Everyone got out alive; and the firemen saved 90% of the contents......and wouldn't have done one bit of good had I been "worried"! Ever!
Just would have made me unhappy and "worrisome"!
I watch dogs a lot as a great way to live!!
p.s.I love your blog........and I loved your magazine. I am still shocked and very unhappy with its cancellation. I heard there was a great January (I think) issue with an article by Murray Moss. Boo Hoo!
- March 30, 2010 at 3:59 AM
- Anonymous said...
Dominique, Most of what I want to say has already been expressed beautifully by others--but you warm my heart--always read your H & G editorial first. You reflect what I feel--I have also kissed the wall of my house as I left it for the new owners. Thank you.
- March 30, 2010 at 10:45 AM
- Shelly said...
Just as most people have posted, I too loved your excerpt in the NYT. I think most of us can relate to losing a job-not of our own choosing-at least once in our life. Although it's difficult to see the blessings at first, time and taking a step back brings the true picture into focus. The authenticity of your feelings and experiences were evident and came through brilliantly. Can't wait to read your book and I will continue to enjoy your blog postings. Best of luck in this new chapter of your life...and I hope you continue to bask not only in a perfect bath or a warm, sunny afternoon, but also in the joy of a new adventure.
- March 30, 2010 at 11:46 AM
- jonyangorg said...
Just read your NYT article, it was fantastic and thank you for writing it!
- April 2, 2010 at 7:08 PM
- Errant Aesthete said...
It is here that I found you and so it is here I will bury myself in the tides of praise, all richly deserved.
I'm afraid my blog does not generate enough traffic to have caught your eye (http://theerrantaesthete.com/2010/03/30/solitary-walking/}, but I am honored, greatly honored, that somehow you managed to find me in this universe of distraction and think enough of my musings to include EA in your blogroll. I'm utterly enthralled and shall bask in the gesture for days to come.
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- May 26, 2013 at 2:30 PM


text:
All costs are subject to change without notice; these fees are payable in U.S. currency.
Tuition and fees
Health insurance
The above rate for room is based on double occupancy in one of the campus residence halls; rates vary with the type of facility. The College has limited single, suite, and apartment accommodations at higher rates. Triple occupancy rooms are also available at a lower rate.
Additional costs are involved in the following areas:
The School of Business does not require laboratory fees. However, all business students are required to purchase a laptop equipped with Microsoft Office. Owning their own laptop allows students to make the most of their educational experience, enabling them to develop proficiency in using the same type of technology most often employed in the business community. For more information about the School of Business laptop requirement see "Laptop Program" on the school's website.
Laptop Program
The Park School does not require laboratory fees. However, the increasingly convergent nature of the communications discipline requires that all students have consistent access to a basic set of multimedia tools. All entering students are required to acquire a laptop computer for use in their classroom and production work. Specifications about the required make and model will be provided to students upon admission to the Park School. Students enrolled in certain courses may be required to supply their own equipment or materials, including computer data storage media. In cinema and photography, students are expected to furnish their own light meters and their own cameras for all still photography courses. In addition, students must purchase materials such as photographic film and paper, motion picture film, and mounting board. Because of the large number of production courses, film, photography, and visual arts B.F.A. majors will incur additional costs for materials.
With the exception of two majors (exercise science and sport studies), the curriculum of each of the programs in the school requires between one and five field-based experiences. Any related field experience expenses (housing, transportation, uniforms, etc.) are borne by the students. Students work closely with the fieldwork coordinator within their department to identify and secure placement at a facility that aligns with the profession they plan to pursue. In some instances, students will be able to complete field experiences locally during the regular semester while taking classes. However, many students choose to complete their field experiences outside of the regular semester. Tuition costs for summer and winter intersession coursework are calculated based on the number of credits the student registers for and the prevailing summer session rate.
Students who are majoring in an allied health field are required to be covered by the Ithaca College professional liability insurance policy. Students will be billed by policy year (September 1 to August 30) for coverage under this policy during the semester(s) they are registered for any type of field experience (the fee is approximately $20). In addition, certain courses (as indicated in the course descriptions) may also require students to be covered under this policy. Further information regarding insurance coverage is located within the policies and procedures section for each department
Additional expenses may be required for the purchase of specialized equipment for specific courses in certain departments, as well as for courses offered through the physical activity, leisure, and safety (PALS) program. General information regarding these requirements is contained within the individual course description and is discussed by the instructor on the first day of class.
Performance study fee: All fees for private lessons are paid in addition to regular tuition.
Music majors and minors (undergraduate, full-time, and part-time): No fees are charged for required lessons that are part of the degree program. For lessons not part of the degree program, the fee is $580. Such lessons consist of one-half hour of contact time per week per semester.
Non-music majors (undergraduate, full-time, and part-time): A fee of $580 is charged for lessons, which consist of one-half hour of contact time per week per semester.
Tuition for full-time students is based on a minimum of 12 and a maximum of 18 credits per semester. Students taking fewer than 12 credits will be charged $1019 per credit. Those who exceed 18 credits per semester will be charged $1019 for each additional credit.
Withdrawing from a course does not remove the responsibility for paying for that course if those credits caused the student to be billed for more than 18 credits. At the end of the add/drop period, students are liable for the credits for which they are enrolled at that time, regardless of a later withdrawal.
Full-time students who officially withdraw, take a leave of absence, or are dismissed from Ithaca College are charged a percentage of total tuition depending on the number of weeks attended. Weeks are counted from the first day of classes in each semester. No refunds are granted until the student completes the College's official withdrawal or leave of absence procedure. See below for the complete refund policy. Any federal aid recipient who takes a leave of absence or withdraws within the ninth week should be aware that a return of federal aid may be required even though full tuition, room, and board charges will be incurred.
Students who change from full-time to part-time status must do so by the end of the first week of classes in order to receive a refund. No refunds are made to part-time students after the end of the first week of classes. Application forms for part-time status are available from the registrar.
If a student is called to active military duty during a semester, the College will apply, in full, any tuition paid for that semester to any future semester in which he or she may return. Room and board refunds will be issued on a pro rata basis consistent with our current policy.
Based on a 15-week semester, the following refund percentages are applied to the appropriate charges:
1st week
2nd week
3rd week
4th week
5th week
6th week
7th week
8th week
9th week
Students who withdraw from an affiliated study abroad program must be attentive to refund deadlines, both those of the affiliate and those of Ithaca College, as there may be serious financial implications involved in withdrawing from a program near or after the start date of that program. Students are responsible for informing both the affiliate organization and the Office of International Programs should they withdraw from a planned study abroad program.
Students who attend programs recognized by the College as affiliated study abroad programs are subject to the following refund policy:
Any recipients of Title IV financial aid (i.e., federal aid through subsidized or unsubsidized Stafford loan; PLUS or Perkins loans; Pell or SEOG grants; or work-study) or institutional, state, or private grants/scholarships need to refer to the following section:
Title IV Refund Procedure
All students residing in College housing facilities, with the exception of those in apartments with cooking facilities, must participate in the College residential meal plan. Upon official withdrawal or dismissal, a refund is given on board charges in accordance with the schedule above. Student teachers may make arrangements for a proportional reduction in charges to cover the periods they will be off campus.
The Ithaca College health center will administer or coordinate care for all illnesses or injuries that may occur to matriculated Ithaca College students. The College charges for some services at the health center, such as X-rays, laboratory tests, medications, and special treatments.
Health and accident insurance is available to all matriculated students. The health and accident policy is specifically designed to complement Ithaca College's health center services. Copies of the insurance brochure are sent to every student each year. Contact the health center for answers to your questions. Coverage is mandatory except with a waiver giving written proof of other insurance coverage, which must be submitted each year by the date listed in the semester billing information.
The College does not carry insurance on students' personal belongings or student-registered motor vehicles and is not responsible for loss or damage from any cause. Students are advised to check their families' homeowner's insurance and motor vehicle insurance policies. If the policies do not cover belongings at college, the student may wish to secure optional personal property insurance offered to all matriculating students. A brochure detailing coverages and costs is mailed to students every year. Students may leave their possessions in their rooms over vacations during the regular academic year, but not over the summer months.
Students who wish to register in advance for the ensuing fall semester must pay an advance deposit of $250 by March 15. Failure to pay the deposit by this deadline will prevent a student from registering in advance for classes for the next semester and from participating in the residence hall lottery. This deposit is credited in full to the student's bill for the fall semester. The deposit is refundable in full to students who are not academically qualified to continue and to those who officially withdraw by June 15. Any student withdrawing after that date will not receive a refund.
Application fee (nonrefundable) - $60
Late payment fee (nonrefundable) - $200 per month
Accounts not paid in full on or before August 10 for the fall semester and January 10 for the spring semester will be assessed a late payment fee each month that a balance remains outstanding.
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• for cars, trucks, motorcycles, etc. (per year) - $220 (freshmen)
• for cars, trucks, motorcycles, etc. (per year) - $110 (upperclassmen)
The cost of books and supplies varies greatly, depending on specific course requirements and whether new or used texts are purchased. The average cost is $565 per semester.
1. All rates are subject to change without notice.
2. All regular charges are billed on a semester basis. Students will not be allowed to register or be admitted to classes until satisfactory payment has been made.
3. Student accounts must be settled prior to leaving the College. Diplomas and transcripts will be withheld from students whose accounts are in arrears for any reason, including nonpayment of tuition and fees, fines, or medical charges. In the event that it is necessary to refer an overdue account for collection, the student and parents shall be obligated additionally to pay all interest, collection, disbursement, and attorney fees.
4. All bills are payable in United States currency.
5. All federal Stafford student loan checks payable to the student and the College must be deposited to the student's account. Credit balances resulting from this deposit will be refunded to the student. Upon receipt of a written request to the bursar to do so, a student may leave the credit on his or her account for the following semester instead of obtaining a refund.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Research Training Group (RTG) 1653
Spatio/Temporal Graphical Models and Applications in Image Analysis
Probabilistic graphical models provide a consistent framework for the statistical modeling and the computational analysis of scientific empirical data. The past decade has witnessed a significant increase in respective research in the field of image analysis and related application areas, driven by the synergy between statistics, pattern recognition, computer vision and machine learning. The objective is to devise models that enable to infer a coherent global interpretation of noisy and ambiguous local image measurements, taking into account spatiotemporal context in images and videos, and domain-specific contextual knowledge.
Applications of probabilistic graphical models to such large-scale problems raise numerous research problems of modeling and algorithm design for inference and learning, requiring interdisciplinary expertise in applied mathematics, computer science and physics, besides a profound knowledge of the respective application areas.
The basic intention of the Research Training Group is to gather experts from these fields and to establish a coherent research and study program on probabilistic graphical models, with a focus on spatial and spatiotemporal models and their applications in image analysis. The project treats methodological basic research on an equal footing with challenging scientific applications of image analysis in environmental science, life sciences and industry.
The Research Training Group will provide a scientifically unique environment for study, collaboration and innovative research on probabilistic graphical models across disciplines, producing highly-qualified candidates for research careers in academia and industry.


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Two Fayette area 4-H members are among 10 winners of the 2008 Fulton County 4-H Endowment Scholarships.
Rachel Rash was chosen to receive the Biddle Scholarship for education students. She will attend Indiana Wesleyan University this fall and major in secondary mathematics education.
Trishton Rash earned the Biddle Scholarship for science and technology students. She attends Mount Vernon Nazarene University, studying biology and pre-veterinary medicine. She intends to study veterinary medicine at Ohio State University.
The sisters are both Fayette graduates and members of the Country Club 4-H group. They are daughters of Cale Rash, Jr., and Barbara Rash.
Other scholarship winners are Tim Short of Wauseon, Cook Memorial and Recognition Award; Jacob Gombash of Swanton, Clark Biddle Holstein Scholarship; Rusty Stechschulte of Wauseon, Clair Jones Memorial Scholarship and the Biddle Scholarship for Public Speaking; Bryce Stilwill of Pettisville, Biddle Scholarship for Continuing Education;
Gina King of Archbold, Biddle Scholarship for Medical Science and Technology; Joshua Bruner of Pettisville, Humbert Scholarship for Continuing Education; Jill Snyder of Delta, Humbert Scholarship for Continuing Education; Emily Schneiderbauer of Whitehouse, Horse Council Award; and Danielle Baker of Swanton, Horse Council Award.
Awards are based on students' 4-H projects and experiences, community activities and long-range career goals.


text:
Does saying the N-word make you racist?
Southern television chef and personality Paula Deen has been in hot water recently after she admitted to using racial slurs in a court disposition. Since the incident her television show been dropped from the Food Network, her cookbooks dropped by Random House Publishing, and today it was announced retailers such as Kmart, Sears and Walgreens have decided to pull all of her products off the shelves.
According to a transcript of Deen's deposition, an attorney asked Deen if she has ever used the N-word.
"Yes, of course," Deen replied, though she added: "It's been a very long time." When asked to elaborate on the context she used the word she remarked it happened once when a black male held a gun to her head during a bank robbery.
Comedian Deon Cole brings about a good point: "Isn't that when you're supposed to say it?"
Deen's assumed downfall has brought race back into the forefront of public discussion and reminds many of past, poor, race relations in the South. However the connotation and use of the word "nigger" seems to have changed since the time of U.S. slavery.
Originally the word was meant to refer to black slaves – human beings that were only considered to be 3/5ths of a person. Now the word is used differently. African Americans often use the word as a term of endearment to each other, usually pronounced "nigga." White people often use the word to refer to a black person who commits crime, is considered dangerous or harmful to society.
When used in this context – by white people- it is often considered racist. However the word's meaning is universally understood. To contrast, the term "white trash" is used to describe white people who commit crime, do drugs or are considered harmful to society. Other races in American that use the term would not be considered racist. Maybe the difference between the two terms is that one word takes its root from slavery, however there is still a discrepancy.
The big debate here is why is this word so taboo and why does it automatically mark its user as a racist? Paula Deen later apologized to the public but how much harm can a word really create? By many accounts, Deen is regarded as a good person who employees (and is friends with) many members of the black race. Do actions outweigh words? There is no universal way to measure how racist someone is.
Maybe the public should make a "Deen's List" of every racist and non – racist act Paula Deen has ever committed. Then the public could somehow weight how racist or non racist a person is. Alas, even if we could there is no way to know how a person feels in their heart.
The N-word may be the ultimate curse word of our generation, which is part of its appeal. If they NSA ever decides to listen into an Xbox live session of "Call of Duty" they could expect to hear the word shouted every time a gamer dies within the game. Sometimes the goal of saying "nigger" aloud is simply the gratifying shock value it brings as the most taboo word in our culture.
My final question is why does anyone care what Paula Deen says? She is a celebrity chef on the Food Network – famous for her doughnut burgers and ample use of butter. We aren't discussing someone that actually has a sway over public opinion or politics. If you don't agree with Paula Deen's views, like her television show or even the way she talks – people can change the channel.
If anything it is rare to see a celebrity such as Deen answer a question of this type honestly. We don't have to agree with her actions but she should be commended for telling the truth. Last time I checked America still has freedom of speech. Her partners and fans certainly have the right to stop supporting Deen, but let's not condemn someone solely for using a word we don't agree with.


text:
Ever felt too lost, confused and overwhelmed? Too much to say, no words to describe? Not sure who to ask help for and even what to ask for? Well, all you gotta remember is….
In this world bustling with people, things, to-do lists, goals, wishes, and expectations, we gotta have faith. That everything will eventually work out 🙂 People may come and go like seasons, but at the right time, you will be sent the right people to help you learn important lessons in your journey and grow. The things which matter so much to you now, for which you've spent sleepless nights and shed countless tears, won't even matter even the slightest – a few years from now.
Life doesn't come with a manual, it comes with surprises. If you expect a manual, you'll always be disappointed. Take life with an element of surprise and uncertainty – life will never cease to amaze you!
It is when we choose to look at things differently, do miracles manifest 🙂


text:
An incentive auction that will shift spectrum from broadcasters to cellular phone providers will go forward with limits on the amount of airwaves the biggest carriers can buy, the Federal Communications Commission ruled today.
There were two orders, one adopting rules for next year's Broadcast Television Incentive Auction, and another taking steps to promote competition in the wireless market. Both votes were 3-2, with the three Democratic commissioners voting in favor and the two Republican commissioners dissenting.
"Spectrum is a finite resource integral to providing mobile broadband service. No one or two providers should be able to dominate use of wireless airwaves," the FCC said in a fact sheet. "The two largest nationwide mobile wireless providers [AT&T and Verizon Wireless] hold a combined share of approximately 70 percent of all low-band spectrum licenses; the two other nationwide providers [Sprint and T-Mobile] hold a combined share of approximately 15 percent of all low-band spectrum licenses."
The broadcast auction includes airwaves in the 600 MHz range. The exact amount will depend on how much broadcasters are willing to sell. Providers that hold at least one-third of the low-band spectrum in any regional market will face bidding restrictions.
"To promote competition in the auction and in the marketplace, the rules establish a market-based reserve of up to 30 megahertz of spectrum targeted for providers that currently hold less than one-third of suitable and available low-band spectrum in a license area," the FCC said.
Non-nationwide providers won't face any limits.
Some of the 600MHz spectrum in each market will be unlicensed, allowing White Spaces broadband networks and other public uses.


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One Ring to Rule iTV?
Apr 4, 2013 1:55 PM PT
The long-awaited Apple TV set will finally hit shelves this year, accompanied by a controlling ring and a smaller portable screen, according to analyst Brian White at Topeka Capital Markets.
After a tour of some of Apple's supply chain stops in China, White wrote in a note to investors that the launch of the "iTV," as he calls it, will happen later this year. Apple plans on unveiling a 60-inch set with a price between US$1,500 and $2,500.
The price would depend on how many accessories came with the set, according to White. Apple is planning on launching the TV with what the company would call an "iRing," a ring that would allow users to control the screen with gestures. The ring's technology would be similar to another rumored company product, an Apple smartwatch.
In addition to the ring remote, Apple would also include what White referred to as a "mini iTV," a small, portable screen that could display the same content that's on the TV from up to 200 meters away. That way, iTV viewers could grab the mini-screen and carry it with them to continue viewing content.
At 9.7 inches, the portable screen would be the same in size and shape to an iPad, but would lack its functionality, so it would not serve as a tablet replacement.
Several cable providers offer similar services by allowing users to connect content to devices they already own, such as iPads or smartphones, for remote viewing.
Cracking an Existing Market
If Apple does attempt to make a dent in the TV market, it has a challenging road ahead of it, said Peter Koeppel, founder and president of Koeppel Direct.
"Apple has the brand recognition and reputation for producing high quality and innovative products, combined with cutting-edge design elements," he told MacNewsWorld. "However, this is a low margin business and Samsung is a formidable competitor, so I don't feel it will be easy for Apple to gain market share in this category."
Unlike its launch of the iPod or iPad, where it unveiled products that no one knew they wanted or needed, Apple would be attempting to produce a device in a market where several competitors have built a solid foundation. What's more, it won't be for the kind of profit that the company usually enjoys when it sells gadgets, said Jia Wu, senior analyst at Strategy Analytics.
"Apple would have to do something really significant to change the market," Wu told MacNewsWorld. "If they do a normal launch with a TV product, with a large display and higher resolution in an affordable price range, the profit won't be significant compared to their existing market. They're making billions, or tens of billions with mobile devices, but a TV can only contribute about one billion per year, and it adds a lot of work and complexity to the company. And they have very tough competition."
Much of that competition could come from Apple's favorite sparring partner, Samsung. Not only is the company one of the most established and recognized names in connected home devices, it also has a growing ecosystem, with Android's popularity on the rise, said Jeff Kagan, tech analyst and consultant.
"The marketplace has been expecting an Apple iTV entry, which is taking much longer than expected," he told MacNewsWorld. "In the meantime, Samsung is moving ahead rapidly in this space. The open Samsung system, which uses the Google Android operating system on smartphones, lets you connect with a variety of different devices and manufacturers."
Content Over Gadgets
That means that if Apple does launch a TV, it can't rely solely on the strength of its ecosystem to draw consumers, said Wu. It also will have to do better than simply issue an iRing and a mini screen to make a significant dent in the market.
"There's an industry idea that people watch TV, they don't want the TV," Wu pointed out. "In the gadget industry there is more of a focus on the electronics and the novelty, and Apple does that well. But with TV that plays a smaller role."
Instead of developing iRings or smaller screens, Apple should focus on the content side of the industry, said Wu.
"An a la carte Apple iTV isn't that attractive," he said. "To have to make users buy content piece by piece, or subscribe to expensive cable deals, takes away a lot of the appeal. Apple needs to work with content owners and providers to get a deal. That's the only way there's going to be major value in this for Apple."
No matter what the company does launch, its brand name and reputation will draw some customers. If Apple can capitalize on that buzz and work with content providers to make the iTV an attractive total package, the company has a chance at carving out its place in the TV market in the long run, said Wu, but that's going to be a years-long job.
"If the product is good enough and they continue to innovate it, they might have a decent user base and eventually change the content industry to be friendly to the Apple ecosystem," he said. "That might change cable or pay TV, but it's not going to happen in one or two years. If it works, this is going to be a long and gradual process."


text:
"The Secret in Their Eyes" ("El Secreto De Sus Ojos") is a remarkably well-crafted whodunit spanning 25 years that drills deep into the nature of memory and longing.
The film, which won the Oscar earlier this year for Best Foreign Language Film, stars Ricardo Darin as Benjamin Esposito, a federal investigator in Buenos Aires assigned to look into the savage rape and murder of a beautiful newlywed.
The story, set against the backdrop of the Peronistas' Dirty War that terrorized Argentinians in the mid 1970s, is told in a series of flashbacks as Esposito tries to recall precisely how the events unfolded for a novel he's writing about the case. The whole exercise rekindles long-buried feelings for his former supervisor, Irene Menendez Hastings (Soledad Villamil).
At the heart of "The Secret" are three men who deal with their deep desire for a woman in very different ways, none of them healthy. Along the way are meditations on the nature of memory, the relative merits of looking forward vs. looking back and how pettiness can hamstring justice.
Considering how sad, tragic and bleak the film is at times, it's surprisingly funny, with much of the humor provided by Esposito's friend and colleague Pablo Sandoval (Guillermo Francella), a hopeless drunk with a keen sense of humanity. Sandoval possesses a self-awareness that allows him to remain a valuable sidekick, and Francella does a nice job of keeping his dignity intact.
Darin's long face and sad eyes perfectly convey the fatigue, stress and longing that gnaw at him seemingly every day. He also wields a flair for wit, profanity and rage that make him a force to be reckoned with. And hats off to the make-up department that made the quarter-century of aging that Esposito goes through look totally believable.
Director Juan José Campanella, who also adapted the screenplay from Eduardo Sacheri's novel "The Question in Their Eyes," moves his camera artfully throughout the film. His long, fast-paced tracking shots through the courthouse hallways are impressive, as is his eye for setting his camera far back from the action, at low angles or shooting off-center to move your eyes around the screen and take in all the action.
Campanella's screenplay is as strong as his direction. The film opens with Esposito making several false starts at his own version of events; it's a clever form of foreshadowing that simultaneously talks about how difficult it can be to get into a memory or story. By turns funny, tragic, scary and shocking, even coming in at 129 minutes, there's barely a scrap of fat on this tale. The narrative is constantly evolving, making a steady march toward its startling conclusion. That said, the very end of the film feels a bit false, but it's not egregious enough to take the shine of the film.
"The Secret in Their Eyes" is a taut murder mystery cum romance that cuts no corners as it moves seamlessly back and forth across 25 years in an effort to unearth the truth behind a horrible crime and the whereabouts of a monster.
"The Secret in Their Eyes" is now available on Blu-ray and DVD
Home Video Review: "The Secret in Their Eyes"
"The Secret in Their Eyes" ("El Secreto De Sus Ojos") is a remarkably well-crafted whodunit spanning 25 years that drills deep into the nature of memory and longing.