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Thinkabouts 2501-3000
Sanity is boring.Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.Sauntering to the tune of a different accordionist.Save a cow-- eat a vegetarian.Save the trees, wipe your butt with a spotted owl.Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.Save the whales. Collect the whole set.Save the whales. Collect the whole set.Save time: see it my way.Save water-Shower with your girlfriend.Scientists tell us that in the beginning there was nothing. They then try to make us believe the Big Bang Theory. Are they trying to tell us that nothing exploded?Screw the planet, save yourself.Sea captains don't like crew cuts.See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.Seeger's Law: Anything in parentheses can be ignored. Corolary: (True in all cases.)Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.September is National Chicken Month. Now does that come before or after National Egg Month?Sex can wait; masturbate.Sex is hereditary: If your parents didn't have any, neither will you.Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.Shakespeare was Bard to the bone.She had a boyfriend with a broken leg, but broke it off.She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the June Flower.Shift to the left! Shift to the right! Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte!Shit happens, carry a shovel.Shopping tip: You can get shoes for $1.50 cents at the bowling alley.Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.Should SWAT teams enforce no-fly zones?Should we be avoiding mailmen since they're carriers? And what will we catch? Bills?Should wives put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?Should you ever lend money to a friend for plastic surgery?Should you let your education go to your head?Should you tell a hypochondriac he looks terrible just to make him feel better?Should you trust your stockbroker if he's married to a travel agent?Shouldn't a self-addressed stamped envelope address itself?Shouldn't there be just one Siamese twin?Shouldn't we all remember that nobody is worth your tears? Anybody who is would never make you cry, right?Shouldn't you always buy a good bed and a good pair of shoes? After all, if you're not in one, you're in the other, right?Shouldn't you always wait until you're sure that something can't come back before you're nostalgic about it?Shouldn't you be 'armed' with an 'armgun' instead of a 'handgun?'Shouldn't you be true to your teeth? If not then won't they be false to you?Shouldn't you teach your toddler the difference between real and artificial plants before you teach them to water the plants?Shouldn't you keep a song in your heart because it's like kareoke for the voices in your head?Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I will show you a man who can't get his pants off!Show me the people who control the land, money, and weapons, and I'll show you the people in charge.Sign in a marriage counselor's window: "OUT TO LUNCH - THINK IT OVER."Sign In Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea."Sign on locked store: "In bathroom. Back in a flush."Sign outside the Fountain of Youth Health Spa in Salt Lake City: "Are You Fat And Ugly? Do You Want To Be Just Ugly? Memberships Available Now."Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?Since AOL and Time-Warner merged, shouldn't they be called AWOL?Since half of what we know today will be obsolete in five years, and we forget half of what we know in five years, it is all to possible that the two halves will in no way overlap.Since the Olympic Flame originates in Athens, Greece, and the 2004 Olympics will be in Athens, Greece, is it going to go completely around the world or just across town?Since the Pope took the name John Paul, will his successor be Ringo George?Since there are over 200 different viruses that cause the common cold is it possible to catch several colds at the same time? And if you did would they battle each other until your cold was gone?Since there are so many legal ways to be dishonest, why would anyone resort to a life of crime?Since there is a speed of light and a speed of sound is there a speed of smell?Since we breath it day in and day out, is it reasonable to say we're addicted to oxygen?Since we have self-cleaning ovens and frost-free freezers, would a self-cleaning bathtub be too much to ask for?Skarstad's Observation: You will never find any more loose change than you have already lost.Slackers Unite! Tomorrow.Smile - things may get worse slower.Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse. SMILE! It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.Smith & Wesson - the ultimate point-and-click user interface.Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.So how long have you been mute? "---"So how many joggers do you think showed up at the Y to sign up for the 2K they've heard so much about?So I bought me a pad of writing paper. How long do I have to wait before it starts writing?So if you want to disarm a bomb, which wire do you REALLY cut? Red or blue? It's different in every movie, isn't it? And how come they always choose the right one?So is violence safe as long as it is not random?So just when is it that Arnold will be back?So they have Braille on the drive up ATM machines. Just how do they expect a blind person to know what's on the screen?So what's the speed of dark?So you're a feminist... Isn't that cute!So, is getting caught between a rock and a SOFT place any better?So, what's with this guy Gideon, anyway? And why can't he ever remember his Bible?Society will ignore any form of irrational behavior except getting in the 10-item express lane with 12 items.Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.Some choose the road less traveled. Some choose the hamster wheel.Some days, it's just not worth crawling out of the primordial ooze.Some drink at the fountain of knowledge...others just gargle.Some people are going to leave a mark on this world, while others will leave a stain.Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy...in a jar on my desk.Some people say that I'm superficial, but that's just on the surface.Some things you should never do, like buying Hitler an easy-bake oven.Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.Someone is going to be very disappointed when they find out that the Supreme Court is just a regular court with tomatoes and sour cream.Someone once asked me if I was religious. I told him that I was non sequitur.Someone told me "make yourself a sandwich." If I could make myself a sandwich, I wouldn't make myself a sandwich. I'd make myself a billionaire.Something tells me that you're very special ... but with medication I can usually ignore it.Sometimes I think everyone in the world is retarded except for me; then I realize, "Nope. It's just me."Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait, not me, you.Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography.Sometimes it seems that the light of your life comes from the bulb in your refrigerator.Sometimes just a few hours of trial and error debugging can save minutes of reading manuals.Sometimes you don't choose your paths; sometimes, they choose you.Somewhere over the Rainbow there's a hole in the ozone layer.Sooner or later doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking?Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)Speak softly and carry a sidearm.Standing on head/ Makes smile of frown,/ But rest of face/ Also upside-down!Stationary stores are the safest place to be during an earthquake.Sticks and stones will break my bones, but whips and chains excite me.Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet. Study art and logic - learn to draw your own conclusions. Stupid, n.: Losing $25 on the game and $25 more on the instant replay.Stupidity, like virtue, is its own reward.Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.Sudden prayers make God jump. Support medical examiners. Die strangely.Support safe housing; use condos.Support strip mining: Prevent forest fires!Suppose you were an idiot...And suppose you were a member of Congress...But I repeat myself.Sure love is grand, but isn't divorce a hundred grand?Sure money isn't everything, right? Isn't there always credit cards, money orders, and traveler's checks?Sure Rome wasn't built in a day but it burnt in a day didn't it?Sure there are things in the sky that we can't identify but that doesn't mean they're space aliens though does it? After all aren't there things in your refrigerator that you can't identify? Would this mean they're space alien leftovers?Sure, doing a job right the first time gets the job done, but doesn't doing the job wrong fourteen times give you job security?Sure, it's easy to take one day at a time, but what do you do when several days attack you all at once?Sure, the pesticide DDT is going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.Sure, the world has to have its share of stupid people, but why do so many of them have to be around me?Sure, there's lots of good fish in the sea. But who wants to go out with a fish?Survive first, then do the long-term planningSweat is nature's way of showing you your muscles are crying.Synonyms are something you use when you can't spell the other word.Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.Take the male end of a cord and put it in the female end of a cord. You get just one cord. Shouldn't you get many cords?Taking a hamster to the vet is like taking a disposable lighter in for repairs.Taste makes waist.Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either.Teachers: Your propaganda is working. My elementary school son is convinced his teacher works 24 hours a day and makes less than minimum wage.Telekinetics tell us that they can bend a spoon just by staring at it all day. Why don't they just pick the stupid thing up and bend it with their hands?Tell a man there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you; tell him the paint's wet and he has to touch it.Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.Tell me why the ivy twines/ Tell me why the sun does shine/ Tell me why the sky is blue/ Tell me why I'm asking you.That that is is not that that is not.That was Zen, this is Tao.The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.The Americans spent $10 million developing a pen that would write in space. The Russians used a pencil.The art of prophecy is very difficult, especially with respect to the future.The average woman would rather have beauty over brains because the average man can see better than he can think.The best way to find a missing sharp object is to walk around the house in the dark with bare feet.The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.The best way to prevent a hangover is to stay drunk.The better job you do, the more work you can expect to be handed.The birth of Jesus is celebrated on the same day every year (Christmas), so how come the day he died (Easter) changes every year?The buck doesn't even slow down here!The call it PMS because "mad cow disease" was already taken.The cheapest way to make money is to press Shift and 4 at the same time.The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.The competition at a local dog show was quite ruff.The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.The cutest kittens have the sharpest claws.The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck will be the day they start making vacuum cleaners.The days of good English has went. The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations.The early bird gets the worm, but the early worm gets eaten!The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.The early bird wishes he'd let someone else get up first!The early fish gets hooked for the same thing that the early bird gets credit for.The Earth is like a grain of sand, only bigger.The economy depends on economists about as much as the weather does on forecasters.The egg must have come first, because God hadn't invented styrofoam containers by the fifth day.The face is familiar but I can't quite remember my name.The flogging will continue until morale improves.The function of the eyelash is to keep dust and other foreign matter out of the eye. So why is it that the majority of stuff that gets in my eyes are eyelashes? Why don't the other eyelashes try to stop them?The gene pool could use a little chlorine.The grate in front of my fireplace has metal handles. Why? It's right next to a fire!The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.The journey of a thousand miles begins with someone tying your shoelaces together.The journey of a thousand miles begins with wondering if you left the sink running.The journey of a thousand miles starts with one step, so does a journey of five hundred miles start with a half step?The latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.The light at the end of a tunnel may be an oncoming train.The lion and the lamb may lie down together but the lamb won't get much sleep.The man who fell into a glass grinder made a spectacle of himself.The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.The man who ran into a screen door strained himself.The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed.The more I learn about terrorism, the better I understand the phone company.The more people I meet, the more I like my dog. The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.The most fattening thing you can put in an ice cream sundae is a spoon.The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.The moving cursor writes, and, having written, blinks on.The next time you feel like complaining remember: Your garbage disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the people in this world.The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you're doing, someone else doesThe nuclear missile has made one great contribution to democracy: with it, all men are cremated equal.The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please divide by 0 and try again.The odds of winning the lottery are so infinitesimal that buying a ticket does not measurably increase your chances of winning.The oldest living person, according to the newspaper, died recently. So, does this mean that there is no oldest living person any more?The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.The only government handout I want is the government's hand out of my pocket.The only other cure for insomnia is the realization that it is time to get up.The only reason there is no excuse for procrastination is that everyone puts it off.The only reason you are alive is because it's illegal to kill you.The only stupid question is the one that is never asked, except maybe "Don't you think it is about time you audited my return?" or "Isn't it morally wrong to give me a warning when, in fact, I was speeding?"The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.The origin of the work 'politics' is composed of the Greek 'poli,' meaning 'many,' and the English 'tics,' meaning blood sucking parasites.The other day I saw a news broadcast of a hurricane about to hit the coast and it was signed for the hearing impaired. Wouldn't the most appropriate signing to tell people that the hurricane is coming be to just flail the arms about frantically and runaway to safety?The other half of the battle is death and destruction.The Pillsbury Dough Boy turns 30 this year. Do we give him a cake for his birthday? Isn't that cannibalism?The possibility of receiving exactly what you ask for at any given moment is inversely related to how much you really need it.The problem with reality is the lack of background music.The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.The Queue Principle: The longer you wait in line, the greater the likelihood that you are standing in the wrong line.The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it.The quickest way to a man's heart is through his ribcage.The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.The reason lightning doesn't strike twice in the same place is that the same place isn't there the second time.The reason people don't like subtitled foreign films is that their lips get tired before the end of the movie.The reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live.The road to success is marked with many inviting parking spaces.The Scarecrow got a brain, the Tin Man got a heart, the Cowardly Lion got courage, and Dorothy got home, but what did Toto get?The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.The secret of success is sincerity. If you can fake that, you can do anything.The sentence "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.The shortest distance between two jokes is a straight line.The shortest distance between two points is always under construction.The shortest distance between two points is how far apart they are.The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.The Spelunking Principle: The light at the end of the tunnel is a train.The state legislature raises the alcohol in a beer to 14 percent and wants to lower the blood alcohol limit to .08 percent. Now you can get legally drunk on one beer. Go figure.The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat; it's watching what other people eat.The trick to flying is to throw yourself at the ground and miss.The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.The trouble with experience as a teacher is that the test comes first and the lesson after.The trouble with some women is they get all excited about nothing; and then they marry him.The Truth is out there. So what are you doing here?!The two most common elements in the universe are helium and stupidity.The Winter Olympics has the luge so why can't the Summer Olympics have a huge waterslide race?The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And though I never forgot it, I never memorized it either. So all I remember is the memory of remembering something I can't remember.The word "prefix" has no suffix, but "suffix" has a prefix.The world gets a little better every day, and a little worse every evening.The world's full of apathy, but I don't care.The worst thing about censorship is [deleted by censorship bureau].The wrapping on one candle gave the instruction: 'To Extinguish Candle, Blow Out The Flame.' Is this really necessary? Should they be selling candles to people who don't know this?The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest: you are always asked to do things, but you're not decrepit enough to turn them down.The Young always have the same problem: how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.Therapy is expensive; poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.There are 129,600 one degree points on a sphere, and therefore there are 129,600 points in which a spoon can squirt grapefruit. Then why does the juice almost invariably fly straight into the human eye?There are 365 days in a year yet there are 52 weeks consisting of 7 days each which equals 364 days. Where does that extra day go? And then there are leap years!There are better things you can be doing instead of this. Go ride a bike. Go fly a kite. Go play in the parkYou're still here, huh? Good. I have trained you well.There are easier things in life than finding a good man. Nailing Jell-O to a tree for instance.There are never enough hours in a day, but always too many days before Saturday.There are only two places in the world: over here and over there.There are pores in a latex condom one micron in diameter. The HIV virus is ½ a micron in diameter. So what's all this crap about Safe Sex?There are some songs that are called 'live recordings,' but if a song was really live then it couldn't be a recording, could it?There are three rules for successfully managing people: Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.There are two kinds of pedestrians--the quick and the dead.There are two rules for ultimate success in life. Number 1: Never tell everything you know.There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and shithead's.There are two somethin's in a beaut, four beauts in a lulu, eight lulus in a doozy, and 16 doozies in a humdinger. Nobody knows how many humdingers there are in a lollapalooza.There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.There are two things a man can't endure for long-a rock in his shoe and someone fooling around with his wife.There aren't enough days in the weekend. There comes a time in every man's life, and I've had many of them.There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."There is always death and taxes; however death doesn't get worse every year.There is but an inch of difference between the cushioned chamber and the padded cell.There is no "I" in team, but if you screw up, there is a "Me."There is no cure for birth or death save to enjoy the interval.There is no excuse for procrastinating, but that's just because I haven't thought of one yet.There is no greater motivation than procrastination.There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.There is no reason for it, it's just our policy.There is no substitute for good manners, except, perhaps, fast reflexes. There is only one truth and this is it.There's a fine line between insanity and stupidity...and I like to straddle it.There's a moment coming. Not yet. Not yet. Not yeeettt...Damn! Missed it!There's just something wrong about cheese "wizzing" from a can.There's no place like here.There's no speed limit on the Information Superhighway.There's no such thing as nonexistence.There's nothing funnier than a fat gay Asian 6th-grade boy.There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?There's too much blood in my alcohol system. There's a fine line between courage and foolishness. Too bad it's not a fence.There's always going to be people marching to the beat of their own dented drum who reject the concept of logical thought. And those people are always going to end up in front of you in line at the DMV.These days humans have a greater chance of being shot than the average wild animal.They call it an amusement park but I have to stand in line. And stand and stand and stand. I am not amused.They say a good comedian has to have good timing. Would it be considered bad timing if they rang you up at 3 a.m. to tell you a brilliant new joke?They say it takes a snail eight days to travel one mile, right? So how come something that moves that slow can manage to devour an entire tomato plant overnight?They say Jesus Saves but wouldn't it be better if he had invested?They say that every 4 seconds a woman has a baby. Shouldn't we be trying to find this woman and stop her?They say that every man reaps what he sows. Why does this not apply to the amateur gardener?They say that everyone has an evil twin. What if you're the evil one and there's a good you walking around somewhere?They say that flying is safer than driving. If that's so then why do you never see a life insurance vending machine at the bus station?They say that garbage can be made into fuel. Why not? Isn't it already made into books, movies and TV shows?They say that if a man is bald at the front he is a thinker and that if he is bald at the back he is handsome. If this is so then if he is bald from front to back does he just think he's handsome?They say that if you don't do it you'll never know what would have happened if you had done it but if you actually do it you wouldn't know what would have happened if you didn't do it, right?They say that man descended from apes, right? But didn't the Welsh come from Wales?They say that money talks. Why is it that all mine ever says is goodbye?They say that some people march to a different drummer, but how many people polka?They say there are some things man was not meant to know. How do we know this?They say truth hurts, right? But what hurts more? The searching after or the running from?They say we're not suppose to put all of our eggs in one basket, right? So how come we never see people rolling twelve shopping carts out of the grocery store?They say you can't run away forever, but is there anything wrong with getting a good head start?They say you can't take it with you but what if IT really wants to go?They say you have one mouth and two ears so that you say only half of what you hear. Is it the same for your eyes, feet, and nostrils?They say youth is wasted on the young...in your case, so is food and oxygen.They should make a cereal full of only toys.They tell us it rains to make the grass and flowers grow. If that's so then why does it rain on the sidewalk?They tell us that we can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar but who the heck wants a whole bunch of flies anyway?They that don't know they don't know, just don't know.Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.Think "honk" if you're telepathic.Think of the biggest number you can. Imagine that many Twinkies. Now add five. Then imagine if you had that many Twinkies. Wow, that's five more Twinkies than the biggest number of Twinkies you could come up with!Third rate Reporters--Giving you the first degree the second it happens.This is a rip-off! These thoughts aren't worth a penny each!This is not the life I ordered.This isn't an office (or school). It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.This sentence no verb.Thoreau's Law: If you see a man approaching you with the obvious intent of doing you good, you should run for your life.Those nicotine patches work pretty well, but I hear it's hard to keep the suckers lit.Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music.Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.Those who learn from their mistakes are wise, those who learn from the mistakes of others usually laugh in the process.Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.Those who think they're perfect are very annoying to those of us who really are.Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.Three can keep a secret, it two are dead.Three statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital is called one I.V. LeagueTiefright (TY fryt) - n. The fear that no matter which way you turn the twist-tie on a loaf of bread, it is the wrong direction.Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.Time flies like an arrow. Fruit lies like an orange.Time heals all wounds, which I guess is why you have to sit in the waiting room for so long.Time is Nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't happen at once.Time is running out! It's twenty minutes later than it was twenty minutes ago!Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all its students.Time to wok the cat.Time waits for no man, unless you have a back button.Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.To attract a man, wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'To be P.C., shouldn't single people be instead "spousally-challenged?"To err is human. To keep erring is just stupid.To err is human. To really foul things up requires computers. To err is human; to moo, bovine.To flee, or not to flee, that is the question of the refugee.To identify some crash victims, they have to identify them by their dental records, right? But if they don't know who the victim is, how do they know who their dentist is?To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.To my sweetheart: My cooking's gotten better since I fondue.To save money if you are stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic should you turn your engine off and let the other cars push you?To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.To talk without thinking is to shoot without aiming.To understand recursion, you must first understand recursion.Today is the last day of some of your life.Today is the Tomorrow you worried about Yesterday. Was it worth it?Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held it's ground.Toes: Devices for finding furniture in the dark.Tofu: The Spam of the vegetable kingdom.Tongue Depressors: They depress your tongue because there's no popsicle on them.Tonight's forecast: dark. Lighter by morning.Too many freaks, not enough circuses.Too much money is like too much sex. It can happen, but it never has.Tourists are terrorists with cameras. Terrorists are tourists with guns.Toys are made in heaven, batteries are made in hell.Treachery will sometimes bring loyalty into question.Trespassers will be shot -- survivors will be shot again!Twice five syllables/ Plus seven can't say much but/ That's Haiku for youTwo can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.Two heads are not better than one, if both are stupid.Two wrongs are only the beginning.Two wrongs do not make a right, but three lefts do.Two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane.Two wrongs don't make a right, no matter how hard you try.Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite.Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins, you can't imagine the smell.Vacuuming sucks!Variables won't; constants aren't.Vegetables aren't food. Vegetables are what food eats.Veni, Vedi, Visa - I came, I saw, I shopped.Veni, vidi, velcro. I came, I saw, I stuck around.Venonv's Laws of Life: You can't win. You can't break even. You can't even quit the game.Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.Vique's Law: A man without religion is like a fish without a bicycle.Visualize whirled peas.Vote Jack Kevorkian for White House physician.Vuja De: The feeling that somehow, someway, nothing like this has ever happened before.Wake up with a smile on your face -- sleep with a coathanger in your mouth.Walk-in closets scare me. I mean, if a closet walked in on you, you'd be scared too.Wanna get really stoned? Drink wet cement.WANTED! Meaningful overnight relationship.WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition.Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.Was Betty Crocker a flour child?Was Robinson Crusoe the only man who ever got all his work done by Friday?Was the pole vault accidentally discovered by a clumsy javelin thrower?Was today really necessary?Wax paper was originally designed to be waterproof Kleenex.Waxman's Law: Everything tastes more or less like chicken.We all know who painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel but who did the floor?We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.We are lucky to have C-SPAN. Not many nations can watch their government inaction.We are the people our parents warned us about. We do precision guesswork.We had a quicksand box in our backyard. I was an only child, eventually.We have a strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful; or should it be that I'm strange and you're wonderful?We have all seen those signs "New and Used Antiques." What qualifies as a "new antique?"We have crude oil so why don't we have cultured oil?We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?We longed for the patter of little feet, so we got a dog. It was cheaper than a baby and it had more feet.We make cheese from the milk of mammals, so could you have whales milk cheese?We read that volunteers fill sandbags to keep floods at bay, but who empties the sandbags when the flood is over? And where do they put all the sand?We three were quite the duo.We're all amateurs; just some of us are more professional about it.We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million keyboards will eventually reproduce the works of Shakespeare. Hasn't the Internet now proven that this is not true?Wear sleeveless shirts! Support your right to bare arms!Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram Weiner's Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only cross references.Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.Were Pavlov's dogs part of the Salivation Army?Were the Russians worried about their seven years bad luck when the MIR broke up?Were we better off when charity was a virtue instead of a tax deduction?Wet birds don't fly backwards at night over Tuson.What a hotel: The towels were so big and fluffy, you could hardly close your suitcase.What a nice night for an evening.What about those signs that read 'Speed Limit Enforced by Aircraft?' What do they do? Drop a bomb on you if you go to fast?What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?What are clams so happy about?What are monsters afraid of?What boots up must crash down.What can you do when you live in a shoe? Just dig a hole and live in the sole.What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is alive?What color is a chameleon on a mirror? What did moths congregate around before light bulbs were invented?What did people avoid things like before the plague?What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall? Dam!What do batteries run on?What do birds see when they get knocked unconscious?What do butterfly's feel when they're in love?What do night watchmen watch? It's dark; what's there to see?What do nudist colonies do during the winter?What do people in China call their good plates?What do people in Greece say when they don't understand something?What do they do with the caffeine left over when they decaffeinate coffee?What do they do with the rest of the lobster when restaurants serve lobster tails?What do U think the difference is between color and colour?What do wildlife preserves taste like?What do you call a female daddy long legs?What do you call a female daddy long legs?What do you call a person that has every illness BUT hypochondria?What do you call a person who hates bigots?What do you call a UFO after it has landed?What do you call male ballerinas?What do you do if you can't stand the heat and you're not in the kitchen?What do you do if you want to quit smoking but the drugstore refuses to sell you the patch because you're under 21?What do you do when you discover an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?What do you do when you run out of cheeks to turn?What do you do when you step up and the bull has no horns?What do you get when cross The Godfather with a lawyer? An offer you can't understandWhat do you plant to grow a seedless watermelon?What does 'it' mean in the sentence 'What time is it?'?What does Dennis Rodman consider weird?What does I.O.U. stand for?What does I.O.U. stand for?What does it mean if you break a mirror with a rabbit's foot?What does Queen Elizabeth sing during the British national anthem? "God save me?"What ever happened to Jukeboxes? What is a Juke anyway? And why were they kept in boxes?What exactly are 'reindeer games' anyway?What exactly are low-salt saltines?What exactly is "midair?" Is there another part of air besides the middle?What flavor is the U.S. Mint?What goes around usually gets dizzy and falls over.What goes click-click click-click Did-I-get-it? : A blind man doing a Rubik's Cube.What Goes Clop-Clop-Clop, Bang-Bang, Clop-Clop-Clop? An Amish drive-by shooting.What good is being punctual if nobody's there to appreciate it?What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?What happened to the first 6 "UP"s?What happens if an unstoppable force meets up with an immovable object?What happens if you go into a general store and ask for something specific?What happens if you put a slinky on an escalator?What happens if you take No-Doze and wash it down with Nyquil?What happens if you Xerox a mirror?What happens to used gravity?What happens when a frozen food company goes into liquidation?What happens when fish trip?What happens when none of your bees wax?What happens when you call a 1-800 number collect?What happens when you call a 1-800 number collect?What happens when you tell a standing committee to be seated?What happens when your fortune cookie contradicts your horoscope?
© 1995-2002 Up And Running, Inc.
© 1995-2002 Up And Running, Inc.


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The Iranian born and Danish native Nima Gorji is coming to Australia this week. This producer, DJ and label boss of Welt Recordings and NG Trax has 25 years of music under his belt and is now residing in Europe's Mecca of electronic music – Ibiza. Mr Gorji helped to build up the underground scene in Denmark in the late 90's and early 2000's; running nights such as 'Verydisco' and being a resident DJ at the famous 'Rust club'. He has also been a very productive producer, starting off releasing music under the alias Black Powder before moving on and releasing under his own name. With more releases and tours planned ahead of him he is just as integral to the scene as ever before.
Let's start with the classic question; what got you into DJing?
When I was a teenager I was into making music with my synthesiser and making beats, and as I turned 18 or 19 an older friend of mine got me into playing records and teach me how to mix. Of course I fell in love with it and I continued since then.
How was the electronic music scene like in Denmark when you started off? And what has changed since then?
It wasn't before 2000 the scene started taking off for real. The crowd was small and still divided into each of their own specific genre; either house, techno or trance. There was no club scene either, only the odd raves and parties. I started a Wednesday club night which was one of the first with a full concept of combining both decor and lots of cool deep house, and they were some amazing years. The crowd came from all the different scenes and got together in this club, even though we only played deep house which none of them had listened to before. This club, called Verydisco, was one of the starting points of next level clubbing in Copenhagen and with an uneducated crowd hungry to suck in all these new impressions and sounds. The early years of the electronic scene was, seen from my perspective, magic and full of people listening without prejudice – the best years I enjoyed as a DJ in Copenhagen.
What made you decide to eventually move to Ibiza? Was it purely to benefit your music career?
I was kind of done with my home town and after I closed my club I had to move on. I came to Ibiza to relax and take a break from all the years of being involved in the Copenhagen scene, then I decided to move over there shortly after.
What would you say is the single most important skill to have to run your own music label?
An open mind.
When you are producing, how much of the music is 'calculated' and pre-planned and how much is experimentation?
Nothing is ever planned, it's just experimentation.
What are your top 3 essential music gears in your studio?
Korg Electribe ER-1, Roland SH-1 and Roland MC-303.
Can you pick out one or two of the greatest moments in your 25 year long career as a DJ and producer?
Many great moments, but one of them is always going to be the 1st of May party at Club La Mania in Romania and Fusion festival in front of 8000 people.
Do you have any big plans you can let us in on for the next coming year?
I've got some good releases on my own and other different labels, as well as tours and gigs… as usual.
Listen to Nima Gorji's nice and relaxed set for the podcast series by 118 BPM Rules below:
Nima Gorji will be playing at Subsonic Music Festival Launch Party in Melbourne at Railway Hotel Brunswick this Saturday alongside Martinez and Subsonic Music residents. For more information about the event go to the Facebook event page.

subset: commoncrawl


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This year we collected and delivered over 4,500 books to Philadelphia school libraries. Empty shelves were filled, and the students were all smiles as they helped us unload our trucks full of gently used books. Kirkbride Elementary and...More
2017 Book Drive SUCCESS!
Just under 4,000 books were sorted, boxed up and delivered, ready for distribution to the Phila area schools and clinics that need them. Thank you to our friends, neighbors, colleagues, classmates, schools and teams that helped find a second life...More
Our Annual Book Drive Was A Success!
In May of 2016 we packed up 37 boxes of books for Rhodes Elementary School kids. Our rough estimate totaled over 2,500 children's books, donated by our generous community. We are proud to be able to recycle these many books once...More


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New England small
town living with sophistication.
Population: 9,090
Area: 19.9 square miles
Situated just north of Westport, is Weston—a picturesque New England town.
In the "center" is a small shopping area providing the basics; a hardware
store, gas station, food market, bank, and coffee shop. Weston has been successful
in maintaining its spacious charm with 2-acre residential zoning. Those who choose
Weston like being part of a small community, while still living minutes from
all of Fairfield County's amenities. Residents enjoy an easy commute to
Manhattan via the Merritt Parkway, Interstate 95, and the Metro North Railroad.
An acclaimed school system is one of the town's many treasures.
Click the Links below to see all that Weston has to offer!
Official Town of Weston website
American Hometowns
Weston Public Schools
Weston Park and Recreation Department
Weston Historical Society
About Weston
Weston Public Library
Train Schedule – Metro North Railroad
Weston Forum – Town Newspaper
New Neighbors
Learn about Weston on Wikipedia
Westport Weston Family Y


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Ancient Inca legend has it that the beginning of time, God Wiracocha out of Lake Titicaca and created the sun, earth and man.
East of the peninsula Capachica and about 40 kms from the city of Puno, rises from the deep blue waters of Lake Titicaca Amantani Island. From afar the ancient terraces, built in pre-Columbian times loom. On the island you can admire sacred sites of pre-Inca cultures Pukara, Lupaka and Inca culture.
Until the middle of the twentieth century the island was a land of farmers. Finally, after several uprisings, the people of Amantaní managed to expel the landowners to take possession of the lands which were worked by them. Currently about 4000 people live on the island. They are mostly farmers, who speak their native Quechua language and castellano.Que like their ancestors live in adobe houses and engaged in raising sheep and agriculture. In the countless platforms they grow potatoes, oca, barley and "the grain of the Incas" quinoa.
This island of Amantani is peaceful and beautiful as the island of Taquile but greater extent, on top of its highest hills there are two temples "Pachatata" and "Pachamama", from here the view of the highest lake in the world imposes its wonder in the eyes of the world. And that still may encuentrar numerous archaeological remains including centers of worship and worship; as well as beautiful fabrics made by community
After moving from hotel to port, boarded the boat for the tour, first visiting the Uros Floating Islands for a period of 40 minutes, then we continued our journey for 03 hrs. and a half, slicing through the wonderful and calm waters of Lake Titicaca, sailing to arrive at our destination, the island of Amantani, where the inhabitants of the island disappoint us, giving us food and lodging for a day. During the afternoon we visit the archaeological remains of the island.
The second day, return to Puno, visit the island of Taquile, where we have to make a 45-minute walk to reach the population and to appreciate the attractions of the island; we will visit 02 hours and after lunch on the island return to the city of Puno.
Second day
• Lunch in Taquile
• Extra drinks


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Sustainable Small Businesses to be Recognized by Duquesne's Center for Green Industries
The Duquesne University Center for Green Industries and Sustainable Business Growth has selected a Pittsburgh design and energy consulting company as the winner of its third Annual Sustainable Small Business Award.
Since 2004, EvolveEA has provided services for 50 LEED projects aimed at saving an average of 30 percent in annual energy costs for clients. EvolveEA was also named a LEED Proven Provider by the U.S. Green Building Certification Institute in 2014.
Additionally, the company has taken steps in-house to positively affect the environment and community. EvolveEA became a Certified B Corporation in 2013, joining other nonprofits that meet standards for social and environmental performance, accountability and transparency. The company won Sustainable Pittsburgh's Green Workplace Challenge in the small business category in 2012 and adopted a carbon neutrality policy in 2011. EvolveEA is actively involved with the Pittsburgh City Planning Commission, the energy-saving Pittsburgh 2030 Districts and has provided no-cost consulting to several community projects.
Honorable mentions this year are:
- Bella Sera, a banquet hall and caterer in Canonsburg
- Comfy House Conservation Services, a residential energy services provider in Bellevue
- Al Kollinger Auto Body, an auto collision repair and paint shop in Wexford.
Phipps Conservatory and Botanical Gardens will receive the Center's Sustainability Champion award, which is given to a non-profit organization demonstrating commitment to sustainability and community involvement.
The Sustainable Small Business and Sustainability Champion awards will be presented on Wednesday, April 22, as part of Pittsburgh's citywide Earth Day celebration. The awards ceremony will be part of the Celebrate Sustainability Speakers Event from 8 to 10 a.m. at Vallozzi's in Market Square.
Duquesne's Center for Green Industries offers no-cost confidential consulting services for small businesses operating in the sustainable sector and to traditional businesses seeking to increase both sustainability and profitability. Questions about the center can be directed to Shea Matthews at firstname.lastname@example.com, 412.396.5725.
Duquesne University
Founded in 1878, Duquesne is consistently ranked among the nation's top Catholic universities for its award-winning faculty and tradition of academic excellence. Duquesne, a campus of nearly 9,500 graduate and undergraduate students, has been nationally recognized for its academic programs, community service and commitment to sustainability. Follow Duquesne University on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.


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'Stockholm Syndrome' will be available to download from July 14...
MUSE have announced final details of their online single, 'STOCKHOLM SYNDROME', and a winter UK tour.
'Stockholm Syndrome' is released on July 14 via the band's website www.muse-official.com. Payment methods will be via credit card and reverse SMS at a charge of £1 (£1.50 for SMS including telephone company fee). Fans will also be able to burn the song once and to download artwork exclusive to the single, which will be made available in Windows Media Format.
The song is the first to be lifted from their forthcoming third album, to be released in September. Following the release, Muse will tour the UK, calling at: Glasgow SECC (November 25)
London Wembley Arena (27)
Nottingham Arena (28)
Manchester Evening News Arena (29)
Cardiff International Arena (December 1)
Birmingham NEC (3)
Brighton Centre (4)
Bournemouth International Centre (5)
Exeter Westpoint (7)
Tickets go on general sale this Saturday (July 5) at 9.30am. For availability, [url=]click here or call the NME Ticketline on 0870 1 663 663.


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The research also revealed that service was the number one reason for planners to switch to a new incentive travel provider, followed by price, according to the research released at Imex 2014 in Frankfurt today (20 May).
Procurement teams continue to be a strong influence when it comes to buying incentive travel programmes, according to 52% of providers.
40% of incentive travel users said that CSR is not a core component of an incentive travel programme.
The majority of planners (59%) said that travel decisions were not made by a single decision-maker and 60% report to VPs and CEO/COOs.
A large majority (78%) said that incentives and meetings were handled by the same department, suggesting that meetings are playing an important part within travel incentives.
Other findings included:
- 39% use social media either to a very high degree or to a moderate degree.
- 83% said prior relationships with suppliers and brand influences decision.
- 67% count on peer for referrals.
- 68% of users' competitors use travel as a motivator.
Talking at Imex 2014 in Frankfurt today, Jane Schuldt, immediate past president of Site, said: "Service levels are the number one reason why planners change suppliers, which is interesting because we are a service industry. The good news is that we can fix it."
Kurt Paben, senior vice president of Aimia, said: "Since the economy has improved, sales incentives programmes have picked up, but clients are much more more diligent and fiscally responsible around making sure programmes work for the business."
The study, titled Purchasing Motivational Travel, was conducted by the Site International Foundation, which produces research for the incentive travel industry. 154 incentive travel professionals participated.
More: Imex opens 'biggest show ever'
In Pictures: Site Nite at Imex 2014
Michelle Mone opens IMEX corporate day
Half of planners reduced their incentive programmes in 2013
In Pictures: Site Executive Summit 2014 took place in January in the Dominican Republic
Have you registered with us yet?
Register now to enjoy more articles
and free email bulletins.


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Owning a timeshare was a pride and prestige status for the rich and famous people in this world. They are not bothered to pay any additional charges a timeshare company may often levy yearly on its members. This will be increasing only, and the rich people are ready to pay them. This is not in the case with a businessperson and salaried people, who take time-share through credit cards and loans. You must check with a right timeshare calculator online before buying a timeshare contract. This will let you know about the cumulative cost. Your timeshare representative will never discuss about these costs. They do wrong sales practice while selling their companies timeshare. The below mentioned are few ways to calculate your timeshare before purchasing.
How much do timeshares cost monthly?
This will be a question for every timeshare membership holder. This is not a onetime payment you pay and enjoy until the contract lasts. There are also lifetime memberships in timeshare and resorts clubs. There are many types of fee or charges, which you have to pay monthly, quarterly or annually. This may be a maintenance fee, membership fee and exchange fee. There are also other charges, when you stay in those resorts. You can check online for timeshare maintenance fee calculator. There are many online timeshare payment calculators, which you can fill few details and get the cost. The cost shown is with tax and without tax. It is advisable to check with timeshare calculator app, which is provided by your time-share company for accuracy.
Timeshare Vacation Calculator Online
The vacation club is also becoming a popular spot to spend vacation with family members. The household use this for one or two month's time. The businessperson traveling all over the world will use those vacation clubs present in other nations. It is advisable to check on vacation day's calculator to know you are on the right track. You can download the vacation calculator app from your vacation club company's official website. This will be a vacation calculator with accrual as per their terms and condition. If you check in other online vacation calculators, this will not have those features or cost centers to put and take out the cumulative cost. If you check in other sites, they may lack accuracy on hidden costs in a timeshare.
Online Calculator Vs Manual Calculator on Timeshare
The first meeting before buying a timeshare will be with a sales representative of that timeshare company. You will try to know if any hidden cost is there or not. If you ask that representative, he will do it with the present rate of charges. This will be the right for that month. If you check online, this will show an approximate value only. This is because, the timeshare cost differs with timeshare companies and the region they are present. This also depends on the offer and plans what you chose in the beginning may continue or cancel by the timeshare company in the future.


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Click here to RSVP and pay for this meeting by Friday, March 30th.
Join us as Josh Wade from Nectar Tasting Room discusses Pinterest & Blogs for Business.
April 6, 2012
7:30 a.m. - 9:00 a.m.
Herak Club Room at Gonzaga's McCarthey Athletic Center
801 N. Cincinnati, Spokane, WA 99201
Parking is free for MarCom meetings in the lot south of the Herak room on the Gonzaga campus.
Meeting fee details: The meeting fee, which covers breakfast, is $15 for members at the door, $25 for non-members, $5 for student members and $15 for student non-members. (Only full-time students qualify for reduced rates. School I.D. is checked at the door.)
We've been prompted to like it, tweet it, bookmark it, and even +1 it. Now, we'd like you to pin it. At our April meeting, Josh Wade of Nectar Tasting Room and Wine Blog will present Pinterest and Blogs for Business – just two of his many adept endeavors. Before our next meeting, be sure to join Pinterest, and come ready with your questions about how to use it as a business tool. Pinterest is growing exponentially each day, but the owners keep membership "invite-only," so be prepared to wait a day or two for your account to activate.
Having used social bookmarking sites, mostly Delicious, I was curious as to what the big deal is with Pinterest. At first glance – pretty pictures. Members' bookmarked content is displayed in categories and in a timeline with a pinned image as the first piece of information viewed. Who knew photos and a more casual Pin and Board setting would make all the difference? With automatic ties to Facebook profiles and Twitter feeds, Pinterest seems to be the more social social bookmarking site. I agree with Mashable's Stephanie Buck, however, that the ability to make some private Boards would be useful. Delicious and others give you that choice.
Pinterest started as a place to share tastes, primarily fashion among women. It stays true to that model, but now, much more is sampled than only womens' fashion. A favorite Board I have encountered is Ryan Stemkoski's Packaging, though I suppose I'm a bit of a packaging nerd. Someone even pinned a RESCUE! trap and a another user's homemade wasp trap has hundreds of repins. Regardless of your industry or service, there is much benefit to leveraging Pinterest. According to Mashable and this infographic, Pinterest generates more referral traffic than Twitter and drives more traffic than YouTube, Google+ and LinkedIn combined. It can be used as a research tool and tracked with Google Analytics. And for the haters, there's even Pinterest Bingo to poke fun at what your friends pin to their boards.
Whatever your passion, I hope you find a fun place to share it with others on Pinterest, and I hope you enjoy learning how to leverage it for business at our next meeting.
Alyssa Ando
MarCom President
Join us April 24th at 5 p.m. at the Martin Woldson Theater at the Fox to celebrate the marketing and communications achievements of the past year.
RSVP here to reserve your spot for this event.
There is still time to get your organization noticed at the 2012 Spark Awards by sponsoring this year's awards. Your organization will be recognized among the best and brightest in marketing and communications and you have the opportunity to provide logo items to all the attendees. Your support of MarCom will help fund our internship program, providing three area students with internships this summer. Click here to view the list of the sponsorship levels. Donations are also accepted.
Contact Crystal Schaeffer-Flynn, Fundraising Chair for more information 509-242-8291 or email@example.com.
Cheryl-Anne Millsap
Freelance Journalist/Photographer
When my husband's mother died recently and we had to catch a last minute cross-country flight for her funeral, we stepped right into the chaos of the United Airlines/Continental Airlines merger.
Arriving in Denver we discovered our flight was critically oversold and one of us would no longer have a seat. While I worked with agents to get that ticket corrected, the gate agent mistakenly gave away our other three seats. Pressed for time, my husband flew out while my daughters and I stayed behind to work out the rest of the details.
Initially, I got nowhere. Each person I talked to pointed to someone else's mistake. Finally, when they realized we were flying as a family to attend the funeral of a close relative, and that due to the mix-up three of us were likely to miss that funeral, everyone stopped passing the buck and started working together to make the best of a very bad situation. They found us seats on a flight the next morning, gave us meal vouchers for four meals each and put us up in a hotel. Ultimately, my daughters and I arrived at our destination a day late but still in time for the funeral. And, in addition to an apology from almost everyone involved, the three of us were given a full-fare refund for that leg of the trip.
The trip wasn't just a traveler's worst-case scenario, it was a potential public relations nightmare. I sent only one tweet, commenting on the fact that the merger wasn't exactly seamless and I posted a photo of my daughters playing Solitaire while we were stuck in Denver. But I have read dozens of blistering posts by unhappy passengers who were also affected by the merger. And they're still coming in.
I'm not a business coach or corporate relationships consultant, but you don't have to be to understand the vital importance of gatekeeper encounters.
As a travel journalist I translate my travel experiences – through my filter – to my readers. But it doesn't matter how much I loved a certain hotel, city or museum, if the people who follow me there aren't treated with the same courtesy. They won't go away happy and chances are, in today's "leave a comment" world, they won't be silent about their unhappiness.
Public relations professionals create and broadcast the positive public image of an entity or product. And while it is often the gatekeeper employees who directly control the satisfaction or dissatisfaction of the consumer, the PR department has to deal with the larger effects of that satisfaction or dissatisfaction. If a client or consumer leaves unhappy they aren't going to hold it against the representative they spoke to. More than likely they'll hold it against the entire company. Most of us know someone who refuses to buy certain products, eat at certain restaurants or even read specific magazines or newspapers because of some unresolved grudge.
In my case, a bad situation was prevented from getting worse when the first person stopped talking to me and actually listened to what I had to say. And then brought in more people to listen and help find a solution. Oh, I was still frustrated by the circumstances, but I was placated by the quick effort to make things right.
Sometimes the most immediate and effective public relations work is done by "first responder" employees, those who have to deal with the public before calling in supervisors and managers. When they understand the importance of listening and then projecting the message that the company cares, the PR specialist's job is easier and everyone – especially the customer – wins.
Cheryl-Anne Millsap is a freelance writer based in Spokane, Washington. In addition to her Home Planet, Treasure Hunting and CAMera: Travel and Photo blogs, her essays can be heard on Spokane Public Radio and on public radio stations across the country. She is the author of "Home Planet: A Life in Four Seasons" and can be reached at email@example.com.
J. Craig Sweat began his career as a professional photographer in 1978 with a focus on journalism and location work. His partner, Tony Roslund, is a third-generation professional photographer who recently ran his own commercial studio in downtown Spokane. With complementary skills and a shared creative approach, Craig and Tony operate a fully equipped, 3,000-square-foot studio featuring the latest in digital production technology, controlled lighting, and a complete set-building shop. An extensive list of long-term local, regional, and national clients from a wide range of industries points not only to J. Craig Sweat Photography's ability to deliver inventive, high-quality imagery; it also shows a commitment to help clients achieve their business and institutional goals—and, more important, to work strategically to help them succeed.


text: Vet 0369 139 Posted February 27, 2014 It is possible that some of this problem may be emanating from your mice. I got a new mouse a couple of months ago that I like a lot, but it has a very sensitive left button. Combined with the way that I hold it, I find it clicking a lot of times that I don't intend. There may indeed be a problem in the game code somewhere—that should be looked into. But if it doesn't turn up there, you might want to take a look at your mice. Michael I understand how that could cause a problem, but IIRC, my moves were all "hunt," "move," or "slow" commands that continued as "fast" or "quick" moves. I could understand extending as the same command, but not changing to another command. Razar Naga mouse btw. 0 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites


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Schlage Unites Brains and Brawn in Touchscreen Deadbolt Lock
Redefining what it means to be secure, Schlage unites brains and brawn in the new Touchscreen Deadbolt lock, putting the highest grade of security at your fingertips. The Schlage Touchscreen Deadbolt, a 2013 Electronic House Product of the Year and Edison awards winner, is a strong, innovative lock that brings together the industry-leading home automation features of Nexia™ Home Intelligence*, the worry-free convenience of keyless entry, and protection of a built-in alarm, to create a lock like no other on the market. The multi-function lock offers keyless control using simple access codes, so you never have to worry about losing, hiding, carrying, or forgetting house keys again.Every aspect of the Touchscreen Deadbolt was designed with your security in mind. Backed by more than 90 years of inventive Schlage design, the Touchscreen Deadbolt delivers an American National Standards Institute (ANSI) grade 1 security rating, the highest residential rating awarded on the market, as certified by Builders Hardware Manufacturers Association (BHMA).
The Touchscreen Deadbolt can hold up to 30 unique access codes and is designed to support temporary codes for your convenience. Codes can be tailored to specific days and times of the week to provide home access only when scheduled, such as for cleaning service personnel. Depending on the current setting, the built-in alarm technology enables you to hear instantly when someone goes in or out, tampers with the lock, or tries to break into the home.
Keyless touchscreen control: faster, easier, more secure
The Touchscreen Deadbolt is specifically engineered to provide security and technology that complements your needs. There's no need to worry about whether or not the door is locked, as the Touchscreen Deadbolt's motorized bolt automatically locks and unlocks when a user code is entered. Its lock-and-leave functionality requires only one touch to instantly safeguard the home.
Other features include a fingerprint-resistant touchscreen that ensures access code numbers won't wear and become detectable after repeated use, a slim exterior escutcheon that prevents interference with storm doors, and an anti-pick shield that protects the lock against tampering.
Built-in alarm lock technology
Keeping your family safe, the Touchscreen Deadbolt is armed with built-in alarm technology, sensing a range of activity and alerting you with three different automated sounds for three different situations. For example, the Activity Alert sounds when it detects that someone is leaving or entering the house; the Tamper Alert sounds when the lock is being disturbed; and the Forced Entry Alert sounds after identifying significant pressure, such as a kick to the door, or a shove to the lock by someone trying to break in.
Nexia: Control locks and more from anywhereTapping into the latest technology, the Touchscreen Deadbolt connects with Nexia™ Home Intelligence, enabling you to manage your home security from anywhere in the world from your smartphone, tablet or computer.
For example, you can unlock a door from work to let a dog walker inside, manage unique key codes and settings from the airport, or receive text alerts if a lock is activated or an alarm is triggered while you are on vacation.
With Nexia compatibility, you can also choose to control many additional home functions through you home, including heating and cooling, video surveillance, lights, shades, and whole-home energy usage.
The Schlage fully loaded deadbolt brings you serious features and control for everyday.
*The Nexia Home Bridge and the Standard Subscription Plan ($8.99 per month) allow you to add more than 200 compatible products to you system and connectivity with smartphone, tablet and computer devices. For more information on Nexia Home Intelligence and service, visit nexiahome.com.
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YJMW Says:
March 1st, 2015 at 10:26 pm
I like the Schlage keyless locks.
My question is:
Do I have to put a keyless deadblot AND a keyless door lock?
If only a keyless deadbolt is used and the door lock remains, that means using a key for one and a touch pad for the deadbolt.
None of the box adds show what to do with the other lock.
So, What we do with BOTH locks?
We want to hear from you! In addition to posting comments on articles and videos, you can also send your comments and questions to us on our contact page or at (800) 946-4420. While we can't answer them all, we may use your question on our Today's Homeowner radio or TV show, or online at todayshomeowner.com.


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Either you go to supermarket or grocery store, you feel lost. You do not know what you are buying because you do not speak a local language. The only way how to figure is its look, so you just ignore all the canned and packed groceries. You also smile and thank God when you find English translation of the ingredients on the product label on the back.
Of course, the presentation or workshop about web design is super exciting, but where is the food, anyway?
When going on Erasmus program, you have really high hopes that locals speak English. Therefore, you do not actually learn any basic words and expressions and when a local asks you anything, you probably say just "yes" and you look like Winona Ryder when accepting SAG Award:
Erasmus semester is all about eating delicious food. So, do not go to simple restaurants but truly dig deeper into traditional food. You will not regret it!
It is either Krolewskie Lazienki in Poland, Eiffel Tower in France, or Stone Carving in Cambodia, you feel literally satisfied with the fact that you are standing next to it and about to learn about its history.
Erasmus parties are crazy, but obviously they cannot last long. Therefore, after a heavy drinking and dancing, you wake up with a thought that you should also do some studying on Erasmus program. Unfortunately, your body does not agree with you as everything what your brain thinks of is:
Well, no words are needed here
You promise yourself every time you procrastinate not to procrastinate. But the truth is that you cannot help it and just live your Erasmus life to the fullest.
You probably made lots of international friends during your Exchange semester and it is sad to realize that you may never see them again.
Having a strong desire to share with your family the most of your experience, you end up buying lots of sweets and other traditional food.


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It is therefore necessary to consider value creating systems and production chains from the extraction of raw materials over the production up to waste or recycling. From this, manifold questions arise, which can only be answered in an interdisciplinary surrounding and with creative solutions. With this background, the Resource Lab at the University of Augsburg deals with the identification of critical raw materials in central functional components of technological products, with their substitution by sustainably available raw materials and the implementation of a circular economy.
In order to solve these challenges the Resource Lab is composed of an interdisciplinary team of industrial engineers, economists, material scientists, physicists, chemists, geographers and computer scientists. This way, application-oriented solutions based on most recent scientific discovery arise for the implementation of sustainable production and energy systems.


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In this analytical article, compiled a selection of interesting facts about sex in different countries. Want to relax and take advantage of the sex tourism or going to relocate to work in another country? Be sure to read, maybe these information will help you to find a partner or to avoid mistakes.
Let's start with China. Patriotic men only envy the Chinese, according to statistics, one Chinese guy to be around 20 sexual partners! Also it was estimated the average time sex in the country, which was about 20 minutes. In China, about 10 percent of people use toys during sex, and 24% of partners not against viewing of pornographic materials.
You formed the opinion that Chinese women are liberated and available? Maybe it is, but more than 60% of Chinese residents don't know how to protect themselves from AIDS and other diseases related to sex. Condoms, which are manufactured in China, the company Jizzbons are 80% cheaper similar products, but their quality is very poor – 30% of cases it is a rubber product number one is torn. Be careful when buying contraceptives.
In all my life Brazilian guy has sex an average of 15 partners. The average length of sexual intercourse is 19.6 minutes. About sex toys knows 21% of the population. Continue reading
The Etiquette and traditions of the peoples of the world"
Each country, culture is unique because unlike other. It is this feature that makes international travel so attractive. Each country has its own peculiarities, and, for example, what is allowed in Germany, severely punished in China.
Etiquette is the silent language by which you can tell a lot and understand a lot, if you know how to see. Etiquette cannot be substituted. Conversing with a foreigner, sometimes it is difficult to explain how you feel about him and what he says. But if you own etiquette, your silence, gestures, intonation will speak louder than words. By external style to keep abroad are judged not only on the person, but also about the country he represents. The tradition of the business community, conducting business and social meetings, conversational phrases, gifts, manners, table manners, dress codes – the answers to these and many other questions will provide students with this program.
Each time, entering Continue reading
Nicholas II in Nikolaev
Nicholas II Alexandrovich /Romanov/ (6(18).05.1868 Tsarskoye Selo — 17.08.1918 Ekaterinburg) — last Russian Emperor (1894-1917 gg.), the eldest son of Emperor Alexander III Alexandrovich and Empress Maria Feodorovna. His reign coincided with the rapid industrial and economic development of the country. Under Nicholas II Russia was defeated in Russo-Japanese war 1904-1905 Russian-Japanese war 1904-1905 — emerged in a climate of increased struggle of the imperialist powers for the division semi-feudal China and Korea; sported aggressive, unjust, imperialist character on both sides.In the ongoing rivalry of the powers in the far East especially active role was played by capitalist Japan, who sought to take over Korea and northeast China (Manchuria). that was one of the reasons the revolution of 1905-1907. In 1907 Russia became a member of the Entente, which in 1914 entered the First world war. August (5 September) 1915 Nicholas II and the Supreme commander of the armed forces of Russia. During the February revolution of 1917 March 2(15) abdicated. Nicholas II in 1918 in Yekaterinburg, shot together with the family. In 2000, canonized by the Russian Orthodox Church.
Portrait of Emperor Nicholas II. Hood. Boris Kustodiev
First visit to Nikolaev the future Emperor Continue reading


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Self-Pay Analyzer
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Pat Walsh Ltd
Marine and Civil Engineering Contractor
About Us
Our Services
Contact Us
Marine and Civil Engineering Contractor
[email protected]
Phone: 020 8977 8414 / 07960 584101
Flood Defences &
Riverbank Protection
Landing Stages and Jetties
We have successfully installed tidal and non-tidal moorings for private customers as well as larger construction jobs all along the river.
We can design and build new installations as well as assess and repair your current structures.
Our flood defence and river bank protection works protect properties along the river from the City to private residences.
Crane Barge and Tug Hire
We install mooring piles for private and commercial customers whether they require single (one-off) piles or multiple piles for full marina installations.
Our fleet of vessels and staff are available for hire. The Crane Barge and Tug are fully licensed by the PLA and insured, and crews have all relevant qualifications.
Steel tube &
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All manner of sheet piling works can be undertaken, from heavy to light wall steel on both tidal and non-tidal River Thames waters.
About Us
Pat Walsh Ltd is a family business with over 40 years of experience in Marine and Civil Engineering and particular expertise in waterborne construction on the River Thames. Based on the river at Teddington we have gained extensive knowledge in planning, managing and completing marine and civil engineering works on inland waterways.
We are proud to have undertaken projects for the Environment Agency, Port of London Authority, The London Boatshow and private owners over the years. These have included steel and timber piling, bankside protection, raised deck areas, slipway construction, fixed and floating pontoons, landing stages, moorings, flood defences and wet dock installation.


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英國遊學 Things To Know Before You Buy
英國遊學that is certainly, it allows the deletion of subject matter pronouns when they are pragmatically avoidable.|Liverpool School of English, Liverpool My keep at Liverpool School of English was fully worthwhile. The quality of the teachings is excellent as well as methodology that instructors apply invitations the group to take part and apply their Talking expertise, which is quite beneficial in case you?�re looking to acquire assurance in the language. The development you make is noticeable because the lessons are rather intense.|Share of people that self reportedly know plenty of Spanish to hold a conversation, while in the EU, 2005 Native nation|Concerning Liverpool, it is an extremely pleasurable town. I explored it in my free time: I visited the many locations that The Beatles created renowned, and also the not too long ago restored port or perhaps the browsing areas throughout the school. The town is worthwhile!|See the globe, working experience a new tradition, make good friends from a hundred countries ??and prepare to your international foreseeable future. Start any Monday and review from two weeks to a complete yr.|This consists of On the run weekend immersion classes, for those who wish to know some Essentials or brush up with a language in a brief time, and looking at programs for graduate learners.}
Nonetheless, Although our contents are effortless to grasp in Finding out Thai language due to the fact we provide you with our productive procedures of Directions; as with other language, it requires effort and time to discover. Hence college students who review?�s best city?? It is just twelve minutes from your school to Seaport Village, a little bit paradise right about the ocean entrance with restaurants,.|Live like an area within the Airbnb accommodation of your preference. Accessible in decide on Places for college students 18 decades or more mature.|The school supplies customized language Understanding experiences for adults just methods from well-known shopping malls, restaurants, nightlife, and beach locations. The 420 making is considered the most prestigious Place of work setting up on Lincoln Highway.|Rennert Global language school in Ny was Started in 1973 and is among the main English schools. Besides its modest class dimensions, learners from everywhere in the entire world are impressed by the all kinds of other strengths: the fashionable infrastructure with Web, WLAN and all other necessities, and the various functions the school organises for its college students.|conscientiously are rewarded. However to aid On this endeavor, are our Thai language school efficient procedures of instruction. The TLS language school has personal lesson,and group Thai language lesson.|We are just about 3 months absent but now is an efficient time to begin acquiring your apps Completely ready for YAMASA?�s Acceleration Method (ACCP)!|Visit a top university in the united states or Canada. From enrolling inside your English course to choosing your foreseeable future College, We're going to advise and assist you each move of the way in which, making certain your application stands out.|El castellano es la lengua española oficial del Estado. ... Las demás lenguas españolas serán también oficiales en las respectivas Comunidades Autónomas...|OHLA is really an award profitable language school in the center of Miami. Our school is centrally located in one of the most upscale spot of town.}
Debuccalization is routinely identified as "aspiration" in English, and aspiración in Spanish. When there is no debuccalization, the syllable-last /s/ is pronounced as voiceless "apico-alveolar" "grave" sibilant or as a voiceless alveolar "hissing" sibilant in the same manner as in the final paragraph.
clearly show that English is, by contrast, "satellite-framed", with mode of locomotion expressed during the verb and way within an adverbial modifier).|Virtually all language schools demand a set-level registration payment for all programs, no matter form or length. This registration or enrollment price will not be an additional rate for applying our booking support. It is just a payment billed via the school and every college student who attends the school should fork out it.|This is often finished applying very simple textual content data files called cookies which sit on your computer. These cookies are completely safe and protected and won't ever comprise any delicate facts.|Even when you can't converse Thai in any respect, in the event you focus on what the Instructor instructs and procedures often, you will be able to talk Thai fluently by the tip our training course/system.|It's also used in a familiar context by many speakers in Colombia and Costa Rica As well as in aspects of Ecuador and Panama, on the exclusion of tú or vos. This utilization is sometimes known as ustedeo in Spanish.|Like most Web sites IDP Education Pty Ltd uses cookies, so that you can produce a personalised, responsive assistance and also to improve the website. We remember and retail store specifics of how you employ the website.|Assured results. You?�ll advance a person amount every single six weeks ??thanks to our innovative and individualized Discovering strategy that blends classroom lessons, interactive tools and cultural immersion.|Tämä on normaali turvallisuustesti, jolla estämme roskapostin lähettäjiä luomasta väärennettyjä käyttäjätilejä ja lähettämästä roskapostia käyttäjille.|BEST Rate Assurance If you discover our programmes much less expensive with One more language travel company, you're going to be refunded 100% of the price big difference.|Thai language school also offers small Thai language programs from just some lessons up to fifteen classes.Take pleasure in Understanding Thai language|I are researching at EC Cape City for two months now. I'd personally recommend studying right here asthe teachers are excellent and also the environment is great. I like dwelling below as it truly is near to The ocean and it?�s low-priced to Are living.|Homestay selection for female islamic students exactly where no Males reside in house and that put together halal foodstuff}
b) If you're a university student who's got just lately booked accommodation and whose duration of continue to be overlaps October 1st
The school is situated inside the exceptional region of La Jolla, a clear and Risk-free community, which can be properly-noted for its up-marketplace browsing and remarkable coastline, in which seals might be spotted beside surfers and sunbathers!
Homestay option for woman islamic college students where by no Guys are living in residence and that put together halal meals
Join our action-packed Young Learners programme and we will assist you to help your English level, and make new buddies from throughout the world and Recollections to previous a life span.
Most language more info schools are non-public and for-revenue. Expenses differ determined by a multitude of variables, including regional expense of residing, Trade prices, and desire with the language in the area where by a school is found. Language schools are both unbiased entities or corporate franchises.
Alongside one another??is usually a time period that you will hear quite a bit - during your language examine remain in New York, you are going to undertake a lot of things to do as a class.|Worldwide Household, Newcastle In Spain, I read and create in English but I not often discuss in English so I wanted to enhance my Talking and listening just as much as possible in my 4 weeks in Newcastle. I had been proposed this city by my English Instructor in Valencia And that i like it in this article. I?�m very pleased with my Instructor and lessons at Intercontinental Home Newcastle and I have uncovered lots.|I really favored Assembly new persons and earning new friends. Investing time with my host mom was good much too. I had to speak English together with her constantly and that basically helped me to find out the language far better! ... See far more|語�?課程?�惠 總覽 澳洲?�?�優??美國?�?�優???�拿大�??�優???�國?�?�優??紐�?????�優??學生心得?�享 活動訊息|Spanish personal loan words are present inside the regional languages here of such territories to be a legacy of colonial rule.[77][78] Right now, Spanish is just not spoken formally in almost any of such former Spanish territories.|If you're looking to enhance your English or research here One more language, look at our certification-granting ESL and language courses. We even offer ESL classes specialized for specific fields of research, like tunes, style and design, and food stuff. Office of English Language Studies|a) If you're a college student that is at the moment keeping in YAMASA operated accommodation further than the 1st of Oct or|認識紐�????�何?��?紐�???�� ?�育?�度 紐�???��?��?�??��?費用?�估 ?�請流程 簽證?�知 社會治安 紐�???��學金 就�?機會 語�?學校?�惠 ?�?�消???�惠 大�??�名|Whether you are interested in vacation language courses for kids or youngsters, language schools for Grown ups, prolonged-expression language programmes overseas or small business language teaching, Now we have a little something for you. With more than 20 languages on 5 continents, welcome to a world of languages.|Although vos is not used in Spain, it occurs in many Spanish-speaking regions of the Americas as the main spoken type of the second-person singular familiar pronoun, with broad distinctions in social thing to consider.|[58] The Spanish language has a lengthy history and existence in The usa on account of historic Spanish and later on, Mexican administration in excess of territories now forming the southwestern states together with Florida, which was Spanish territory until eventually 1821.|The diphthongization of Latin pressured limited e and o?�which transpired in open up syllables in French and Italian, but in no way in Catalan or Portuguese?�is present in the two open and closed syllables in Spanish, as proven in the following table:|I like Big apple. It is really my favorite town as it's a mixture of a great deal of cultures. I have satisfied Lots of people from various countries, and I are getting to be mates with them. It is really astounding how unique or related our cultures are. I've even realized some phrases like"Hi there" in Japanese, ... See much more|?��???總覽 ?�育?�公費留學與?��????��??�獲?�名??澳洲?��???美國?��????�拿大獎學金 ?�國?��???紐�???��學金 語�?課程?�惠}
The peopleare really friendly and handy, and In addition there are numerous places to eat which provide scrumptious food and beverages.?�I like EC mainly because on my very first day right here, I ... See far more
Italian, Conversely??although its phonology is much more just like that of Spanish??is said|is claimed|is alleged} to have a lexical similarity of 82%. Mutual intelligibility amongst Spanish and French or between Spanish and Romanian is reduced however, given lexical similarity rankings of seventy five% and seventy one% respectively.[236] And comprehension of Spanish by French speakers who've not analyzed the language is way lower, at an approximated forty five%. In general, because of the widespread options from the producing units from the Romance languages, interlingual comprehension on the published word is greater than that of oral conversation.|The interrogative pronouns (qué, cuál, dónde, quién, etcetera.) also receive accents in direct or oblique inquiries, and some demonstratives (ése, éste, aquél, etc.) may be accented when applied as pronouns. Accent marks used to be omitted on capital letters (a common exercise in the days of typewriters and also the early times of personal computers when only lowercase vowels had been readily available with accents), although the Actual Academia Española advises versus this as well as orthographic conventions taught at schools implement using the accent.|The lecturers listed here at EC Vancouver are great. They are nicely educated and very skilful. Also, you will discover only some Japanese students, which is great due to the fact I don't need to talk Japanese.|Exceptions to those guidelines are indicated by an acute accent mark above the vowel on the pressured syllable.|?�何?�擇?��????��???��?�制�??��???���??��???��?��?�??��?費用?�算 住�?安排 簽證?�知 就�?機會 ?�校?�聞 ?�拿大升�?Are living like an area within the Airbnb accommodation of one's selection. Offered in pick out Places for students 18 many years or older.|^ a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o Eurobarometr 2012 (webpage T74): Non indigenous those who converse Spanish pretty well.|See the planet, expertise a whole new lifestyle, make good friends from a hundred nations around the world ??and get ready for your personal global long term. Begin any Monday and examine from two months to a complete calendar year.|The Gramática de la lengua castellana, penned in Salamanca in 1492 by Elio Antonio de Nebrija, was the first grammar written for a modern European language.[27] Based on a well known anecdote, when Nebrija presented it to Queen Isabella I, she asked him what was the use of this type of perform, and he answered that language would be the instrument of empire.|?��??��??�點 總覽 澳洲?��? ?�國?��? 美國?��? ?��???���??�拿大升�?澳洲?��?|海外?�校??�� ?��?講座?�展�??��??�海外升學活??海外?��? > ?�?�活??> ?��?講座?�展�??�享此頁|Lexis, Seoul As predicted, Seoul is outstanding plus the school was good in the least degrees. I had been incredibly Fortunate with my host household; they have been constantly valuable and Wonderful, and so they actually desired me to like their incredible country. Immersing in a new state is critical if you would like study a language, but it surely?�s also a means to find a whole new tradition. The school was superb and produced us jump into Korean straight away, so we were being compelled to make use of the language. Men and women have been effectively distributed among distinctive concentrations and academics ended up quite inspired, dynamic and good.|Pija in many nations around the world of Hispanic The us and Spain by itself is surely an obscene slang word for "penis" while in Spain the word also signifies "posh Female" or "snobby". Coche, meaning "auto" in Spain, central Mexico and Argentina, for your vast majority of Spanish-speakers actually means "child-stroller" or "pushchair", whilst carro suggests "motor vehicle" in some Hispanic American nations and "cart" in Some others, along with in Spain.}
however not normally??places|locations|areas|spots|destinations|sites} adjectives following nouns, as do most other Romance languages.|Pressure most frequently occurs英國留學 on any of 英國遊學the final a few syllables of a phrase,英國遊學 with a few rare exceptions on the fourth-past or earlier syllables. The tendencies of pressure assignment are as follows:[38]}}


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Sunderland Funeral Directors has become the first in the North East to launch its own mobile App
A Sunderland funeral directors has become the first in the North East to launch its own mobile App.
John G Hogg, who owns three funeral homes in the city, has just launched the new App which gives valuable help and advice on what to do in the event of a death of a loved one.
The App ties in with a newly launched website which also contains a wide range of helpful advice from how to go about registering a death to what to expect on the day of a funeral.
The award-winning family business sees the launch of the App as a natural progression in keeping customer service at the highest level.
John Hogg said: "Most of us at one stage or another will have to face the difficult task of arranging a funeral for a loved one. Trying to make sense of it all can be challenging at the best of times but even more so when in grief.
"We have designed this handy little App to help people through this very difficult time. There is also a section to post tributes to loves ones.
"As a team we pride ourselves on doing all we can to ease the pain on grieving families and generating the App is another step forward in delivering best service at all times.
"The public are becoming more sophisticated and the increase in smartphones among the 30 to 50 year old age group means we have to adapt."
The John G Hogg team also plan to add more information to the App in the coming months such as church times and links to Google maps to show where a service is taking place.
Another unique part of the App is a page for making donations to the charity in memory of loves ones. This enables people to make the donation direct to the charity of the bereaved choice without the hassle of handling cash and envelopes. The App also contains the facility to upload obituaries and family messages.
John G Hogg is one of most respected firms of independent family funeral directors serving the City of Sunderland and surrounding area. With more than three decades of expertise, director John Hogg can proudly state that more families choose John G Hogg than any other funeral director in the city.
They are also proud that the majority of people who choose John G Hogg in their hour of need do so on the personal recommendation of family and friends.


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Qi, Qigong, and Tai Chi | Goals and Objectives | Approaches and Technologies | Results
To date, we have measured over 30 Qigong/Tai Chi (half are experts with an average of 30 years of experience) before, during, and after their mind/body practice. We have also studied over two dozen control subjects extensively to investigate factors that change the parameters recorded by our instruments. Results of these studies can be found in the PUBLICATIONS section. Main conclusions based on data collected to date are summarized below:
Laser Doppler Flowmetry studies have shown that certain Qigong/Tai Chi movements when performed with coordinated deep breathing cycles and mental concentration can significantly increase blood flow measured at the Laogong acupuncture point located at the center of the palm (PC-8, traditionally regarded as a center of Qi).
Analysis of brain wave patterns in EEG recorded during Qigong meditation indicates that the subjects are in a dual state of deep mental relaxation and concentration. Heart Rate Variability analysis of EKG also show that they are in a restful state similar to deep sleep.
Bioenergy measured as heat, light, electrical field, and electrical conductance can all be changed significantly by a short period of Qigong/Tai Chi practice.
Our current research is focused on comparing the above effects produced by Qigong/Tai Chi practice with those produced by physical exercises and acupuncture. We hope that these studies will lead to a better understanding of the biological basis of these changes, and how they might be related to beneficial effects on whole person health and healing.