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Jane Fairfield has four hundred and eighty days more that she needs to remain unmarried - and her enormous dowry is a prize for any man. She has to devise a way to stave off even the most desperate suitor, and luckily she's found an act that seems to do the trick. Oliver Marshall knows what it's like to be the butt of a joke, and he hates to see anyone be trampled by the ton. He's been biding his time and building favors as he rises to power in Parliament. But one of Jane's rebuffed suitors has taken things personally, and he's willing to trade his vote on a very important bill for Oliver to absolutely humiliate Jane. Will Oliver become the villain in Jane's story or is he actually the villain in his own? **It's like being beaten to death by SPOILERS!!**
Grab your copy of the book we read today, The Heiress Effect by Courtney Milan!
Want to listen to a certain segment? Here is our outline this week:
0:00 - 05:29: Intro/History Facts
05:29 - 30:32: Synopsis
30:32- 31:43: Parlour
31:43 - 1:14:29: General Discussion
We include our synopses as a semi-transcription of the episode in our blog posts. You can learn more about how we compose these by reading this article. As a reminder though, our synopses are FULL of spoilers. Read ahead at your own risk :)
The Heiress Effect Synopsis:
Jane Fairfield is known as the "Feather Heiress." This is not because her money comes from goose down, but rather, to spend an evening in her presence is like being beaten to death by feathers. The first time she had heard that cruel analogy she had been slightly disheartened, but then she realized that she could use that to her advantage - and so she simply weaponized it.
Oliver Marshall is the bastard son of a very cruel duke, raised by a very caring mother and father. His whole life he's had to fight for everything he's done - but now he does it much more shrewedly than with his fists. Instead, he is a political rising star, bridging the gap between the ton and the common man, biding his time, making connections and begetting favors, waiting in the wings for the perfect time to step out into the spotlight.
And Oliver can feel that that time is rapidly approaching. If he can persuade Bradenton (and therefore Bradenton's cronies) to vote for the Reform bill when it comes up again, he will be credited with its success which will be a huge boon to his political clout.
It is at a dinner at Bradentons that Oliver first meets Jane. He is forewarned with the token "it's like being beaten to death by feathers" by the other gentlemen, but isn't ready for the full effect of her, quote
"But looking at her was like picking up a luxurious peach and discovering it half taken over by mold. Her gown was ghastly. There was no other word for it, even that one scarcely did justice to the thrill of helpless horror that traveled through him. A little lace was in fashion. Falls at the fuccs perhaps, or a few inches at the hem. But Miss Fairfield's gown was lace all over - layer upon layer of the most intricate hand-knit stuff available. Black lace. Blue lace. Gold lace trim. It was as if someone had swept into a store, ordered three hundred yards of each of the most expensive kinds of lace, and then crammed every ell on one dress. This wasn't a case of gilding the lily. If there was a lily underneath all that, it had long since been crushed to a pulp. The party stopped in its tracks as she took off her cloak frozen in wordless contemplation of a wardrobe that made the word "gaudy" sound sweet and demure by contrast."
But Jane doesn't seem to notice anyone's stares or any awkward silence ever. She is a battering ram of overconfidence, finding no issue with making any sort of social faux paux. She speaks too loudly. She flubs up names and titles. She hands her coat to a guest, not realizing he isn't a servant. In fact, she is so air headed and completely unaware that she is the butt of jokes throughout the night.
Of course, this is all an act. Though at first she did make many faux paus when she entered society, Jane decided quickly that with just a bit of exaggeration, her flaws could become the perfect defence she needed. Because she had well over 400 days that she needs to keep up this facade. She has to remain unmarried until her sister came of age to keep her safe. And a 100,000 dowry was too attractive a number to keep away most men. She couldn't simply be ugly or dowdy or irritating or vapid, she had to be unconscionable. Absolutely unmarriageable while at the same time, being perfectly marriageable enough to make her uncle think that she was at least trying her best. So she played into her faults because at least she was good at them.
Unfortunately, her facade was built to crack under men like Oliver. Men who try to be nice were the most difficult for her. Quote
"Poor Miss Fairfield. She had the opposite of good conversation, the opposite of taste. They were going to rip her to sheds, and Oliver was going to have to watch… It didn't matter how irritating Miss Fairfield was. Oliver had been on the receiving end of those snide comments one too many time to rejoice in making them"
After their first meeting she told her sister Emily quote
"He was quite determined to be kind to me, and he was funny to boot. If I'd let him talk to me much longer, he would have made me laugh. I had to break him before that happened. He'd had the strangest expression on his face near the end, solemn and brooding, as if he wanted desperately to like her and was upset at his own failure…
Jane wouldn't feel safe until Marshall was actually laughing with the others. She was almost going to regret breaking him. He'd been nice."
Oliver and Jane are about to be thrust together though, because Bradenton issues Marshall a challenge that evening after the women have taken their leave. It seems that Jane has provoked Bradenton one time too many, and he wants her humiliated. If Oliver does that, he will provide his vote for the reform bill. He tells Oliver his terms as a newly minted earl, Hapford, watches. Bradenton has taken Hapford under his wing to show him the ropes of politics, and this is his first lesson. Quote
"You see Hapford?" Bradenton said. "He wants. I have. The only way to make a deal is if I want something, too." He leaned forward. "And what I want, Marshall, is Miss. Fairfield." There was no masking the venom in his voice. "I don't want to see her or her annoying gowns. I don't want to hear her thoughtless jibes." Bradenton's nostrils flared. "She's the worst of the worst - a woman with no birth to speak of, who thinks that her hundred thousand pounds makes her my equal. A woman like her, running about, spouting her tripe...She does damage to us all and I want her gone." "That's not going to happen," Oliver said sharply. "I don't ruin women, no matter how annoying they are." Hapford was looking between them, his eyes worried. "Well said, Marshall." Bradenton seemed to come back into himself with one long, slow breath. The hatred in his eyes dimmed to mere amusement. "Oh, look at you two. Ruin her? Goodness, how sordid. I wouldn't ask my worst enemy to kiss her." "Then what are you asking?" The marquess leaned back in his seat. "I want her to know her place. Humiliate her. Hurt her. Teach her a lesson. You know how it's done; it took you long enough to learn yours."
Oliver sits still, and Bradenton tells him not to answer but to work through his principles on his own time quote "It's one annoying girl against your entire future. Against the future of voting rights."
And although Oliver hates himself for it, he stays quiet as he begins to consider it.
In typical Milan fashion though, she doesn't take the story in the direction it's first headed, but rather, our two main characters have an honest and open conversation much sooner than anticipated. Conflicted over the plight of the greater good and personal success, versus being the villain in one woman's story, Oliver decides to find out more about Jane before deciding which way to go.
After the dinner party, their next meeting is on the street, and something happens to unnerve Jane. He stopped on the street, tipping his hat to her. And that's when something awful happened. She looked into his eyes. They were ice-blue and mobile. In the bright mid-morning, his spectacles made him look sharp and intelligent. He didn't look over her head as if wishing her elsewhere. He didn't curl his lip in disgust or nudge his companion as if to say 'That's her; she's the one I was telling you about.' He looked at her straight on, his eyes flickering over her as if he were wondering what lay beneath the blinding orange-and-green pattern of her day gown. And he smiled at her as if she deserved more than a few scraps of surface civility…
She felt something that she'd only read about in the pages of a book. There was a slow prickle in her throat, a flush of heat that slid over her skin. SHe felt a sense of pure awareness. A frisson. She felt a real live frisson just from looking into his eyes. How dreadful.
Although she immediately tries to disarm him using a tried-and-true trick of misidentification, referring to him as Mr. Cromwell, it seems not to unruffle him one bit. And when she tries to find a connection from his cousin and companion on the street, Sebastian to a "famous and disreputable scientist" Sebastian Malheur, she is the one ruffled as his cousin is in fact, Mr. Malheur, and doesn't mind his disreputable reputation one bit.
But Oliver believes he has seen through Jane's act and asks Sebastian a simple question to further unmoor Jane quote
"Miss Fairfield," Mr. Marshall said, "Are you familiar with chameleons?" "I dare say I was just reading about those," Jane said officiously, trying to regain her balance. "Those are a species of flower." Mr. Marshall didn't even twitch at that, and that made Jane feel all the more uneasy. He was supposed to smile at her. Better yet, he was supposed to sneer. "Or maybe it was a hat," she added. Not so much as a curl of his lip. "The chameleon," Mr. Marshall said, "Is a species of lizard. It changes it's coloration so that it hides in its surroundings. When it darts across the sand, it is sand-colored. When it slips through the forest, it is tree-colored." … "You," he said, with a small gesture of his hand, "are an anti-chamelon." "I am an ant-eating what?" "An anti-chameleon. The opposite of a chameleon," he explained. "You change colors, yes, But when you are in sand you fashion yourself a bright blue so that the sand knows you are not a part of it. When you are in water, you turn red so that everyone knows you are not liquid. Instead of blending in, you change so that you stand out. Jane swallowed hard. "Well Sebastian," Marshall said, turning back to his friend, "what think you of that sort of adaptation? What kind of creature tries to stand out from its surroundings?" Mr. Malheur frowned and rubbed his forehead as he considered the question. "Poisonous ones."
Soon, Oliver gives her the opportunity to unburden herself and come clean with her troubles to him. It's an enticing proposition, because of the attraction she feels for him and her desperation to share her burden with someone who really does appear to understand her so well.
But there's just one caveat - when she asks him if he is telling her the truth, he admits that it's ninety-five percent of it. And when she finally does decide to unburden herself to him he says "Never trust a man who claims that he is telling you ninety-five percent of the truth."
And then he continues with the other five percent:
"I talked to you because Bradenton asked me to do it." She took a step back involuntarily. "Bradenton! What has he to do with any of this!" "He thinks you need to know your place. He offered me a trade: his vote in parliament if I'd deliver a sharp lesson to you. I talked to you to figure out if I could do it."
This leads to more conversation where Oliver divulges much of his past and his plans for the future. Although he didn't go through with this plan, he admits he is the kind of man who considered it, was tempted by it.
Jane considers everything. Quote
"I suppose I should be [angry.] But I'm not, really. It doesn't surprise me that you'd want to betray me. Everyone else always does...So there you have it. You might betray me, but you're my favorite betrayer thus far." He made a noise. "You should be angry, Miss Fairfield. You should push me away." "Mr. Marshall, haven't you figured it out? I'm too desperate to be angry."
But with that truce established, the two are now primed to figure out a way to beat Bradenton at their own game.
Meanwhile, we have a few different subplot stories going on. We learn about Emily, Jane's sister. She has a seizure condition and their uncle Titus, who is her guardian, has subjected her to some barbaric experiments in an attempt to cure it. That's why Jane has to be allowed to stay in their house - to bribe any new quacks he brings in to treat Emily so that she isn't subjected to further abuse. Titus believes he is truly doing the best for Emily, but is obviously misguided. Emily though, is an active young woman who can't stand her mandated bed rest. Eventually she begins escaping for walks during her naps, and on one of these occasions, she meets a young law student with whom she sparks a connection with; a Mr. Anjan Battacharaya.
Oliver also visits with his family in Cambridge. His younger sister, Frederica, known as "Free" is angry at him for reneging on a promise to tutor her in Greek. And when they reconnect she seems like she is bursting for something to happen. Oliver is fearful for his sister. She has so many ideas and such strong ideals and he doesn't think that the world will be kind to her. Quote
"I worry about you," he finally said to Free. "I'm afraid that you're going to break your heart, going up against the world." "No." The wind caught her hair and sent it swirling behind her. "I'm going to break the world."
Later, when in London, Oliver also visits his Aunt Freddy, who is Frederica's namesake. She is homebound, and doesn't look well to Oliver. She and Free, who have always been close, have butted heads about her refusal to go outside and are no longer talking. Oliver feels the burden of his family's troubles acutely although he knows there is not much he can do for them all, as they are all adults in their own right.
Another small theme is the Mrs. Larringer books. These books are gothic novels where Mrs. Larrianger takes on the world. Emily is obsessed with them and Jane smuggles her copies of the latest edition. Oliver finds Jane in a bookshop purchasing one for Emily and snags the first volume for himself even.
But back to Cambridge and Bradenton. Oliver and Jane devise a plan to out Bradenton which goes off very well. Bradenton is humiliated and his posse are disgusted and agree to hear Oliver out about why they should vote for the reform bill. They seem very positive for it by the end of the night. This plan does mean that Jane's cover of being an airhead is blown, but she knows that she will recover and still find a way to repel any suitors. The time with Oliver, the defeat of Bradenton, and the addition of some real friends now that her secret is out, was worth it.
But, all of this does not forge a path to a happy ending for our hero and heroine. Oliver still needs a quiet, fits-the-mold sort of wife, and both he and Jane know that she isn't that. Their attraction is strong, but the circumstances have been known since the start. And so they part, with Oliver telling Jane to contact him if she ever needs anything, because they are, after everything, friends.
Months pass. Emily's escapades are discovered and Titus blames Jane. He refuses to let her stay in the house, and Jane shrewdly bargains before agreeing to leave - she will go where he dictates but he may not allow any doctors to experiment on Emily without consulting Jane first, and without Emily's explicit consent. With a little blackmailing, he agrees.
So Oliver is politicking in London broodingly while Jane is repelling new suitors in Nottingham when she hears a whisper. Her aunt has conspired with a particularly repulsive suitor to 'convince' but not compromise Jane into marriage, because Titus needs her married fast in order to have Emily committed to an institution.
Jane hops into action, sending a telegram to Oliver, only to be interrupted by one of the players in the scenario. She inconspicuously hands it over to be sent incomplete, deciding that regardless of if Oliver comes, she has gotten what she needs out of it. In that moment, she doesn't feel alone and she feels emboldened to do what she needs to do.
But Oliver receives the partial telegram and immediately leaves, despite the fact that it is totally not his character to do so. He is also compelled.
What transpires is a topsy turvy trope filled tableau:
Jane gets her suitor to pretend to run away with her to Gretna Green. Once in the carriage, she offers to bribe him with 1000 pounds to continue on by himself so it isn't known that she is headed to Cambridge. However, the villain can do simple maths, and knows that her dowry is much, much more of a reward.
Oliver was supposed to meet Jane at an inn, so she knows that someone knows a bit about her whereabouts. Luckily though, he had actually bribed the driver of the villains carriage, and after a couple hours drive, he hops down, informs the villain that he will be spending the night in the carriage and aways with Jane to an inn!
That night, they have encounter number one, and the next morning number two, because although Oliver told Jane to get two rooms, she takes matters into her own hands and gets one. She knows they have no future, but they do have a present and she had told herself that if she ever had the opportunity, she wanted a night with Oliver.
However, there is still much more story to be told! When they arrive in Cambridge, it turns out that Emily has disappeared, leaving a cryptic note to Titus that included a hidden message to jane. She said she was going to visit her barrister - which Jane knows to be Mr. Battacharya so she can hunt for him. This leads Oliver and Jane to London.
The reunion and the encounters lead to an expression of feelings. Oliver admits to himself that he's in love with Jane, but that she's still his "impossible girl." Jane is sad, but has known this from the beginning, telling him quote
"I've had a long time to think it over. And you're right. Marriage between us would be a disaster. I know what I can do and what I can't. I can pretend to be a great many things, but even if I could act the proper hostess, the sort you'd need, I wouldn't want to do it. I'm done taking on the role of pretender."
So they form a truce and decide to enjoy each other's company for the time being. They find where Emily is, but before all is resolved, Oliver's mother finds them at his hotel to tell him that his aunt Freddy has died. Before she leaves she says
"And Oliver, the woman who is staying with you…" Jane froze. "What woman?" "Don't be ridiculous. You're here under an assumed name. You've never used my soap, and yet someone here has washed with my May blend. I smelled it the instant I walked in. I only wanted you to know...There won't be many of us present, just family and a few others. If she's important to you, if she would bring you comfort, you should bring her."
And Oliver does decide to invite Jane, but he wants to have her come as his fiance. Because he is in love with her, and if he shares her with his family, he doesn't think he could ever let her go. In fact, he knows that his sister in law, who is a duchess, could train her…
And with that, the spell is broken. quote
"Train me?" Jane said. "What am I, a horse?" "No. Of course not. But a few lessons…" "A few lessons on what?" Jane's chin came up, but her lips trembled. "On how to act, how to behave, how to dress. Is that what you mean?" He couldn't say anything. "Tell me, Oliver, how long do you think it will take me to learn to hold my tongue. To talk quietly? To dress as everyone else does?" "I-Jane…" "If you want a wren, marry one. Don't ask me." He shut his eyes. "I know. I know. It's such a horrid thing to ask. But…" He paused trying to regroup. Trying to explain. "I've made a career of keeping quiet. Someone from my background has to be particularly careful. My brother can advocate whatever he wishes; I have to be cautious. To make sure that when people think of me, they think of a reasonable man. Someone who is just like them. Someone who…" "Someone who doesn't have an awful wife," Jane said. Her voice was thick…. She stood up. "It's just as well, because I…" She stopped biting her lip and then shook her head. "No, never mind. You've just been told that your aunt has passed away. I don't need to add to your burdens." "Just say it," he snapped. "And spare me your pity." Her chin rose. "It's just as well you don't want an awful wife," she told him. "Because I have hoped for a husband with a little courage." Oh, that hurt. He wasn't choosing between acceptance and Jane, between a ballroom filled with happy friendship and that dark road alone with Jane. He was choosing between a dark, lonely road with her, and one without her.
So Oliver attends the funeral alone, and Jane goes to reunite with Emily, who after a couple hurdles, gains permission to marry Anjan. Jane sets herself up in a new residence, rekindles an old friendship from Cambridge, and begins to think about how she wants to spend her inheritance on charity. Perhaps she will establish a research hospital based in scientific principles!
The funeral for Freddy is eye opening. When her will is being read, it appears at first as though she has left Free out of it. Her sisters say they will split their share with her, but the executor stops them, because Free is the last bequest quote
"Lastly, I come to Frederica Marshall, my goddaughter, niece, namesake and scourge of my existence. Several years ago, as I am sure you are all aware, she was presumptuous enough to insist that I leave this apartment - that I go out in the world and have an adventure, even if it was so trivial a one as to buy an apple. After she left, I attempted to do so." Free let out a broken breath, so close to a sob. "I discovered myself incapable of leaving," the solicitor read. "For some reason, I could not fit through the door. But I did my best to make do, and so for that reason, I leave the proceeds of my grand adventure and the contents of my trunk to Miss Frederica Marshall. I suspect that she will make better use of them than I did." Free looked up. "Proceeds?" she said quietly. "What proceeds would she be talking about?" … "Those would be the royalties on twenty-five volumes published to date, not counting the four that are in the process of publication." Frederica blinked. "Twenty-five volumes?!" she repeated. Oliver felt a sudden, staggering pain. He knew which authoress had penned twenty five volumes , one after the other in quick succession...His sister walked over to his aunt's trunk, flipped open the lid. She reached inside. Oliver knew-he absolutely knew what he would see in those pages. "Mrs. Larriger and the Welsh Brigade," Free read. She took out another sheaf. "Mrs. Larriger and the French Comtesse. Mrs. Larriger goes to Irelend." Her voice caught. "Who is Mrs. Larriger"? But Oliver knew. If his sister sifted through the papers long enough, Mrs. Larringer would find her way to China, to India, across all the seas of the world. He remembered mocking these books with Jane, laughing that the author had clearly gone no farther than Portsmouth. He'd been wrong. The author had not even come that far. She had lived the majority of her life in scarcely more than a hundred square feet. And she'd had so much adventure hidden in her that it had poured out once she'd let it loose."
It is Freddy's death and secrets that shake Oliver enough to get him to reflect on earlier lessons she told him and on what he really wants with his life. She had told him that he used to be a coal grabber like Free and his mother, reaching into the hot coals without a thought. But now, he had become more reserved and careful like Freddy herself. When had he changed? Why? Quote
How was it that he'd taken the rules that he'd hated and adopted them for himself. He'd chafed when people told him he was a bastard. He'd raged when they'd said he would never amount to anything, that his father was nothing. How was it that he was telling the woman that he loved that she was nothing? That she was awful?
He'd started caring more about becoming the kind of person who could make a change than he cared about the change itself.
He loved the person she'd made of him - a man who could foil abductions and break into houses when circumstances required. A man who could take on Bradenton and see a foe to vanquish, not a powerful lord to be appeased. And he'd wanted to make her into nothing because that's what he'd done with himself.
And so, Oliver realizes he needs a grand gesture to convince Jane of his change of heart. He begins with a visit to Bradenton for a final showdown of wits, out arguing him and securing his subservience and vote.
Finally he heads to Jane's new residence, and stuns her upon entry for he is outfitted in a new waistcoat. A bright pink, loud silk. The color of one of Jane's most notorious dresses. Fuschine. And then he begins the grovel. He tells her that he was wrong for considering her a blight, that she was right to say he waylaid his courage. He tells her the story of exactly where he lost it, and then continues by telling her that's why he needs her - because she reminds him how to find his voice. And he wants to be the one that supports her magnificence, without ever asking her to be less.
And with all that truth and honesty, there is no reason for them not to agree to be married.
So then we have the epilogue! Oliver and Jane are happily married. Her gowns are still the subject of many conversations, but she is the kind of woman who everyone wants to know. Her hospital has gained much acclaim. Jane is considered an asset to Oliver's career, and he knows how lucky he is to have her. She's increasing with their second child, and together, they are taking on the world.


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Can You Be Required to Pay More in Child Support if You Make a Lot of Money?
Divorce is complicated. It can be made even more complicated when considerations for child support are on the table. Divorce and child support are deeply tied to income, so what happens if you make significantly more than average or more than your spouse? Can you be responsible for paying additional money per month based exclusively on your income? The law is complicated, which is why you should have a great lawyer on your side. Here are some of the basics that you should know.
Disparity in Income
It was the Georgia Supreme Court case Fladger v. Fladger in 2014 where the circumstance of making a lot of money in and of itself was determined to be an insignificant reason for an "upward deviation" in child support. The decision also included that a significant income disparity was not grounds for increasing the amount of child support paid.
Based on that ruling, if you earn significantly more than your spouse you may not be required to pay more per month in child support based only on the numbers. There would need to be additional considerations for an upward deviation to be on the table.
Standard of Living
The child support guidelines, according to that decision, are meant to afford the children of unmarried parents the same standard of living that children living with both parents who have a similar income level would experience.
The question becomes whether that additional income earned by one parent would have been used specifically to create and continue to fund a higher standard of living. Or, could the needs of the children be met without that upward deviation?
For example, consider the professional athlete who is earning a large sum of money now. A professional athlete's working "lifespan" is understandably short, so they must make the income last a real lifetime. Should the athlete's children be given a standard of living as if the income will flow forever? Under Fladger, instead of leaving it within the discretion of the judge, it's possible to make the case that the athlete is making money to last for the athlete's lifetime and it is only from the eventual (adjusted) income stream that the children will be supported. The second consideration is what is special about these children (unlike all other children) that they need higher support than the guidelines provide.
The same issues apply to executives, entrepreneurs, any high-income person. In their cases however the focus is on the actual needs of the children. Unless there are special needs, the court is likely to keep any award of child support reasonable and conducive to the actual needs of the child.
Does Deviation of Support Benefit the Children?
In essence, the Fladger court determined there wasn't sufficient evidence to show that this would be the case. They said that the trial court must "make written findings to explain how the presumptive amount of child support would be unjust or inappropriate considering the relative ability of each parent to provide support."
If each parent's income played a part in the establishment of the children's standard of living, would a deviation actually support any benefits to the children?
Appropriate Deviation of Child Support
Of course, there are some cases where an upward deviation of child support would be appropriate. And if that's the case, a lawyer would help you better understand the specific processes and arguments that would increase the fairness of the final decision.
However, the courts will consider all factors including how much money was spent on the children versus what was saved as well as monthly payments for various activities or services.
Do you have questions about your income and child support? Contact Shaw Law in Dunwoody to learn more today.

subset: commoncrawl


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Gracee Shriver was born in Owasso, Oklahoma and grew up playing tennis and singing. She sang at her local church and at a BBQ restaurant for 10 years, starting when she was just 9 years old. At 16, Shriver the went on to the hit NBC show "The Voice" and made it to the top 16! Gracee learned so much from The Voice and reflects on her journey "going from then to now, you continually have to work hard and go hard because people are always going to be better than you". Shriver always thought of a career in country music and always looked up to all women in country (Carrie Underwood, Reba McEntire, Dolly Parton, and Miranda Lambert).
Her parents had no doubts that she could make it and help her as much as they can. Shriver describers her sound as "Pop Country with an old school voice" and loves writing breakup songs. Her favorite song is Fancy by Reba and even saw her perform it at the Grand Ole Opry, a venue she cannot wait to play one day! Shriver has worked with Ben Crosser, Dan Frizsell (Jason Aldean and Lee Brice), Buddy Owens (Shane McAnally and Eric Paslay), and Galen Griffin (Luke Bryan and Joe Diffie) on her music. The Oklahoman is currently pursuing a degree in Music Business at Belmont University in Nashville, Tennessee, a place she has visited many times since she was 9 years old. Check out Gracee Shriver's website for all information regarding merchandise, tour dates, and music. Leave a Reply. |
April 2024


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Monday, July 1, 2013
Introducing Journeys Through the Year!
21 comments:
Wow Lori! How did you even get all this information?! We are starting the new common core series too and we don't have any of the curriculum just yet. I am planning on attending a training this summer for it though. I can't wait to check this out! I'm most excited about the scope and sequence, HFW, and spelling words! Thanks for creating an awesome resource!
Rambling About ReadingRepliesJess,
I went to Think Central and looked at EVERYTHING they had. I LOVE it! Thanks so much for your purchase! I love that you're as excited as I am!
Teaching With Love and Laughter
email@example.com just went and looked around on Think Central! Everything is there but is super overwhelming! So glad you put it all in digestible bites!
It makes me wish we had Journeys!
First Grade Blue SKiesNice! Can't wait to see your kinder version! We are starting Journeys for the first time this year. I'm lucky enough to have gotten ahold of all the teachers guides to try and get ready for next year, but it's a lot more scattered and all over the place than our last HM series was with its nicely laid out themes!
thekindergarden.blogspot.comGood news for second and third grade teachers! You WILL get your Journeys! :)
Teaching With Love and Laughter
email@example.com- AnonymousJuly 5, 2013 at 10:05 PM
Just wondering...is Journeys like the Treasures Reading Series? It looks like similar skills. We use Treasures and this may work for me, too.
I am not familiar with Treasures. I'm sorry! Maybe someone else will be able to answer your question.
Teaching With Love and Laughter
I have been using Journeys for two years now and the program comes with all of this. Our district purchased the Focus Wall poster which contains all this info, BUT your lay out is much more appealing. I love that it can all fit in a pocket chart.


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The kitchen is a wonderful place to make holiday memories with children. The sights and smells of holiday baking often create a treasured experience as well as an opportunity to teach important skills to children.
Overwhelmed with too many delicious holiday treats? The kitchen can also be used to make non-edible gifts. Homemade gifts such as a salt dough ornament can cost very little and are fun for kids of all ages to create. Did you ever make a salt dough ornament or handprint as a child?
Salt dough is easy to make. It only requires three ingredients, and can be used to make ornaments, figurines, and other items. The creations are then baked and decorated. Young children can help scoop, measure, dump, mix and knead the dough. This helps children build small muscle skills, social skills and math skills.
A word of caution - raw flour may contain bacteria that can cause illness. Flour does not look like a raw food, but typically, it is. This means it has not been treated to kill germs such as Escherichia coli (E. coli), which causes food poisoning. Bacteria are killed only when food made with flour is cooked. Never taste or eat raw dough or batter. Make sure children wash hands before and after handling salt dough.
Salt Dough for Crafting (not for eating)
- 4 cups flour
- 1 cup table salt
- 1 ½ cups water
- Wash hands with soap and water. Preheat oven to 300°F.
- In a large bowl, measure and mix the flour and salt. Add water to the dry mixture.
- Mix all the ingredients together with a large spoon. Use clean hands to finish bringing the dough into a ball shape. Place the dough on a flat surface lined with parchment paper or aluminum foil.
- Knead the dough for a few minutes. Roll out the dough using a rolling pin or a glass. Divide dough into 2-4 smaller pieces for easier handling. Cut out ornaments using cookie cutters, move to ungreased cookie sheet. Poke hole using a straw in order to add a ribbon to hang the ornaments. Transfer parchment paper (with dough items on top) to a baking sheet.
- Bake for 1 hour in a 300°F oven, or until dough has hardened. Once the crafts have completely cooled and dried, young children may decorate with water-based paint. A variety of colors of ribbon or string may be used to hang the crafts. They can also be hung as-is on a nail in the wall!
For a handprint craft: Roll dough to ¼ - ½" thickness. Use a 4-5" round cookie cutter (or the rim of a bowl) to cut out circle shapes. Press the child's hand in the center of each circle shape, making sure fingers and palm press down to an equal depth, then gently and slowly take hand off. Use a paper lollipop stick to make a hole if you intend to hang the handprint.
For more holiday ideas, tips and recipes, check out these resources:
Fun and Learning with Salt-dough Ornaments, Michigan State University Extension
Say No to Raw Dough - Foodsafety.gov
Article originally written by Laura DeWitt.
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George Bernard Shaw's statement that "all generalizations are wrong, including this one" is particularly apt when it comes to relationships among couples. "Chemistry", physical attraction, mental compatibility and common interests all play a role in drawing two people together.
Here are some observations and recommendations for two individuals who seek to go beyond a casual relationship:
Keep these points in mind regarding dating:
Online dating now represents one of the fastest growing sectors of the Internet, attracting over 50 million individuals in North American alone looking for an easier, faster way of finding mates than the traditional ways of meeting and dating potential partners. The large online dating sites, such as www.Match.com, www.Bumble.com, www.OKCupid.com, and www.eHarmony.com, claim to offer their members access to a huge pool of compatible soul mates based on a computer analysis of data pulled from their online profiles through mathematical algorithms. Similar to online shopping, users browse these dating marketplaces, select someone who looks appealing and then initiate contact with a keystroke via texting, e-mail or Twitter.
Generalizing, teenagers and those in their 20s tend to utilize online dating to arrange casual dates and hookups, those in their 30s and 40s do so as a result of being sick of traditional forms of dating and as a last resort, and those in their 50s and older do so in an attempt to connect with compatible partners as opposed to hanging out in bars and clubs. Online dating also appeals to people who experience difficulty meeting and dating others regardless of the reason for this. As typically occurs on the Internet, there has been a proliferation of niche online dating sites catering to specific interest groups, including those of a particular religious background, sexual orientation or different exotic taste.
Some worry that these online dating sites are creating a "hookup culture" that fosters on-the-spot, indiscriminate, commitment-free, sexually promiscuous flings, especially in the case of students and younger people. Plus, if one has the perception that there are going to be an ever increasing number of compatible potential dates available online, one may be less likely to make any attempt at maintaining a committed relationship at the first sign of any difficulty.
Despite contrary claims by the online dating sites, there is no scientific evidence that their mathematical algorithms have any proficiency at predicting compatibility. Their ability to do so is further hampered by the frequency of users misrepresenting their personal characteristics in the profiles they post.
Exercise caution and common sense if you decide to connect with someone via an online dating site. Always hold your first meeting in a public place where there are lots of other people present. Never get into the vehicle of a stranger or go to some place where you will be alone with that person. Do not disclose your personal address, phone number and the location of your workplace at the initial meeting. Also, be somewhat skeptical of the information that others post online but be truthful in what you post about yourself.
To avoid dead-end relationships, consider this advice:
Lastly, given the lethal risks involved in having unprotected sex, the time to have a discussion about safe sex is definitely beforehand, not afterwards. It may not be romantic but both parties have too much to lose to take anything for granted in this regard. The responsibility for taking the necessary precautions for both birth control and protection from sexually transmitted diseases belongs to both of you. Do not take any chances when the adverse consequences are so serious.
Overweight Sleep Doctor Recommendations Medical and Health Info Reading and Texting While Walking |


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WASHINGTON, DC, Nov. 19, 2001 – James Wootton, president of the U.S. Chamber Institute for Legal Reform, hailed the election of Democratic Judge John Weimer to the Louisiana Supreme Court.
Weimer, a State Circuit Court of Appeals Judge, defeated State District Court Judge Mary Hotard Becnel in a special run-off election on Saturday, November 17. Weimer will represent the Sixth Judicial District on the high court.
"Judge Weimer has an excellent record and a reputation for being an independent thinker," Wootton said. "We believe Judge Weimer will enforce the law and resist the temptation to legislate from Louisiana's highest bench."
The 47 year-old Weimer, a former Nicholls State University law professor, received 32,618 votes to Becnel's 31,435 – a 51 to 49 percent margin of victory.
Weimer, who joined the race very late, limited his campaign contributions to $500 per individual or organization, despite Louisiana's $5,000 legal cap. Becnel, who outspent Weimer 3-to-1, refused outside contributions, choosing instead to finance 100 percent of her million-dollar campaign with funding from her personal injury trial lawyer husband, Daniel Becnel.
"Judge Weimer is clearly a principled man who is not afraid to fight for what is right," Wootton added. "With such an underdog spirit, we believe he will prove to be an effective champion for legal reform in Louisiana."
The Institute for Legal Reform, an affiliate of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, is working to make America's legal system simpler, fairer and faster for all Americans.


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The verbal and visual components of package design
It is estimated that 73 percent of purchase decisions are made at point of sale. In scanning packs at point of sale, perception is rapid, and quick recognition is important for inclusion in the decision process. Under conditions of rapid perception, there is an advantage for verbal stimuli perceived from the right‐hand side, and for non‐verbal stimuli perceived from the left‐hand side. This advantage probably derives from the laterality of the brain, with word processing generally being handled by the left hemisphere, while the right hemisphere generally processes pictorial matter. This asymmetry of perception implies that to maximise recall, words should be on the right‐hand sides of packs, pictures should be on the left. We tested this, using a tachistoscope to measure difference in recall. The results confirm the asymmetry of perception of elements of packaging.
Rettie, R. and Brewer, C. (2000), "The verbal and visual components of package design", Journal of Product & Brand Management, Vol. 9 No. 1, pp. 56-70. https://doi.org/10.1108/10610420010316339
:MCB UP Ltd
Copyright © 2000, MCB UP Limited


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Legendary, Emmy-winning Fox TV anchor, Ernie Anastos -- who just had a day named after him by the mayor of New York City-- kicks off his new television show with this "Doctors on Call" segment.
Here, in the first installment of the recurring series, he had urologic oncologist and robotic surgeon Dr. David Samadi and me, ACSH's Director of Medicine, to answer viewer medical-related questions.
We brought practical answers to viewer questions that ranged widely from acupuncture to sexual health.
Hopefully, as laughter is often the best medicine, you will walk away from this clip smiling and with some common sense advice to enhance your health and well-being.


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A natural and nourishing hand-made soap scented with lemongrass and containing moisturising and soothing hemp.
Presented in beautifully designed paper, this is lovely, natural soap that has not been tested on animals. It is cold pressed, vegan soap and does not contain palm oil, plastics, parabens or SLS.
Weight: 95g
Size: 8cm x 5cm x 2.5cm


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Mercedes-Benz 300 (W124) E 5.6 AMG
This car was one of the first to be equipped with the new 5.6L V8 pushing 360 hp. The engine still had not been approved by Mercedes in 1987 (the reason for which the star on the bonnet is absent, AMG still being an independent manufacturer at the time). The Mercedes-Benz 300E AMG is also the first 5-door sedan to breach the 300 km/h mark: an impressive achievement for the era, and even nowadays it remains a benchmark.


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CULTURE CHANEL. The woman who reads. The exhibition which at the end of summer will take place in Venice is dedicated to Coco Chanel, to her story and her relationship with books and reading.
From Greek authors to modern poets, Gabrielle Chanel's library will reveals works that influenced her life and shaped the personality of the woman who was not only a great fashion designer, but a great reader, as well.
Venice was one of the places from which Coco drew her inspiration, and here for the first time her library will be displayed.
The exhibition CULTURE CHANEL. The woman who reads will run from September 17th 2016 to January 8th 2017 at the Ca' Pesaro Galleria Internazionale d'Arte Moderna di Venezia (International Gallery of Modern Art in Venice).
An exhibition which will illustrate a less known aspect of the life of the woman who wrote the history of fashion.
The exhibition will explore Gabrielle Chanel's life, from the solitude of her childhood spent in an orphanage in Aubazine, to the end of her life, the writers and the books that guided her journey, enriching her imagery.
The exhibition will highlight Chanel's relationships with books, writing and her creations.
A dialogue which goes through ages, from ancient times to her contemporaries. Coco's library contains works by Homer, Plato, Virgil, Sophocles, Lucretius, Dante, Montaigne, Cervantes, Madame de Sévigne, Stéphane Mallarmé, and works by authors who were part of her life and her friends, such as Pierre Reverdy, Max Jacob and Jean Cocteau.
Art objects coming from Coco's Paris apartment will be exhibited for the first time, along with jewellery and perfumes, which will outline the intimate portrait of a woman whose life and creativity became a legend.
The exhibition is curated by Jean-Louis Froment in collaboration with Gabriella Belli, with the support of CHANEL.
CULTURE CHANEL. The woman who reads
17th september 2016 – 8th january 2017
Ca' Pesaro – Galleria Internazionale d'Arte Moderna
Santa Croce 2076 – Venice


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Houston-based child psychologists advise how to help kids hurdle their camping fears
You are a summer camp believer. You recall your childhood summer camp experiences with fondness, and you may even credit much of your personal growth and independence to this annual adventurous getaway. You want desperately to see your child blossom from a sleepaway camping experience. But your child is dead-set against going. His heels are firmly dug, and he's not budging on the issue.
So how do you convince him otherwise? Should you even try? Which is the worse outcome: to settle with your child's fear and chance its taking root to thwart his progress later in life, or to force a situation for which your child is clearly not ready, thereby introducing a whole set of other problems, not the least of which is a parental trust issue?
Here's what a gathering of Houston child psychologists have to say on the matter.
Be confident that you're on the right track.
Don't second-guess or trivialize the benefits of camp just to make it easier to throw in the towel. "Sleepaway camps foster independence, broaden social skills, and help develop a love of nature and the outdoors," says Clinical Psychologist Robin J. Burks, Ph.D. "Day camps help with these three developmental tasks as well, but not to the same degree as sleepaway camps."
It's not what you say, but how you say it.
"The parents' attitudes and excitement about camp are contagious," says Julia C. Babcock, Ph.D., private practitioner and Associate Professor, Department of Psychology, University of Houston. "If the parents convey excitement, perhaps recounting their own positive experiences at sleepover camp, the child may become excited, too," she reasons.
Peter C. Cousins, Ph.D., ABPP, a clinical and family psychologist, agrees that attitude plays an important role in a child's comfort with such new experiences. "It is helpful if the parent does not share their anxiety about the separation, since anxiety can be quite contagious. If the parent is confident that it is a good thing for the child, then many times children will be fine with it. Children depend on parents to act in ways to protect them, so provided that they have felt protected so far, they will tend to take their cues from their parents for their comfort or wariness with the camp."
Talk it up.
Now that you've got your head wrapped around the right attitude, feel free to let the child-relevant benefits of camp sell themselves. "Talk about the great activities at camp, and encourage your child to try new things and make new friends," Babcock says.
Take a tour.
Babcock also points out that some camps allow tours before the session begins to help a child feel less anxious and have a visual picture about what his or her week away from home will look like.
Let planning build up the excitement.
Reassuring them that you're just "window shopping," involve your kids in the camp selection process. Take the whole family to a summer camp fair, where the children can talk to camp staff, see pictures, watch videos, and get a good feel for the vibe of each particular camp. Then, once everyone has agreed on a potential home-away-from-home, make a list of things you and your child will shop for to prepare for his adventure. "Children can get excited by shopping and packing with their parents," Babcock says.
Understand their fear, and give them tools to deal with it.
"I think that what can frighten parents and children the most is the possibility that the child will be bullied—and that [would happen] with the parent out of touch for a period of time," Cousins says. In this case, he suggests that the parent make contact with an adult at the camp to whom the child can go if bullying should occur. "This can reassure children that they will be safe."
Slow and steady wins the race.
"If a child finds camp truly terrifying, then I would recommend working with the child during the year, by increasing his or her independence slowly," Cousins says. He adds that a child should already be sleeping in her own room (or at least in a room away from the parent), should have some responsibilities, and should be able to do some of the basics, like getting up on time by herself for school. "If a child is not independent enough for these types of activities, he may not yet be ready for a week away," Cousins advises, adding that there are several alternatives for kids who are not quite ready for a sleepaway adventure. "Scouting trips are a great way to prepare children, and there are other groups, like Indian Princesses, that do similar things with a parent, which shows kids they can have a good time with Dad away from Mom."
Many camps offer suggestions and guidelines and even orientation programs to help prepare your son or daughter. "Children as young as seven can enjoy overnight camp if adequately prepared," Burks says. "She can start out with a low-key camp that doesn't last as long and is closer to home."
Arm them with the comfort of familiarity.
Parents can help by letting children know how they will keep in touch with them, Cousins says. Burks suggests letting a reluctant child know she will receive letters from home and telling her she will pack plenty of stationery, pens, and stamps so she can write home as often as she wishes.
"Make sure they have their favorite pillow or other treasured objects, which can serve as a reminder of the security of home," he suggests. "Of course, sometimes a close friend is available for the first year, which really helps."
Burks agrees that coordinating with one or two of your child's friends can make a huge difference and really ease a child's anxiety about meeting new people. "If your son or daughter has already had numerous sleepovers with friends and managed the separation very well, it can be easier to know that he or she is likely developmentally ready to try that next step, say, of a week-long camp, close to home, coordinated with a friend," Burks offers.
Know when to back down.
Summer camp is a great experience for most, and for others it may be great later, just not now. Use the above suggestions to explore your child's readiness for camp. At the end of the day, if she's still digging her heels in resistance, let the issue rest for another year. "There really isn't any benefit to forcing a child who is dead-set against going, as it really is important to consider your son's or daughter's feelings and developmental readiness," Burks says. "You want the first experience to be a positive one."
(One parent's poetic thoughts on homesickness)
by Lois Roisman
Remember that ache in the pit of your gut
When you're liking your camp and your bunkmates, but
Your bed at home's what you'd really prefer
In fact, any old bed but the one where you are?
It might help to know at the camp where I went
Homesickness occurred to one hundred percent
Of the kids, from the ones who were having the best
time of all to the ones who were much more hard-pressed.
I've researched the problem because it's not small
And it's something that plagues children, most, if not all.
What I found will amaze you, because, of all things
That pain in your stomach's about growing wings!
Yes! What an amazement, that knot that you feel
In your belly is really a very big deal!
We can't leap tall buildings with flexible springs
But we can fly away on invisible wings!
That ache in your belly is not 'cause you're sick
It's the tips of your wings that are poking a bit
On your stomach and causing a terrible frown
So just think happy thoughts 'til it all settles down.
If you rub on your tum and sing 'grow-wings-grow-out'
Your wings will take root and will soon start to sprout
By the time you're a grownup and ready to fly
Your wings will be ready to soar to the sky.
So at night when your tummy is feeling that ache
And you're thinking that camp was a major mistake
And the feathers are hurting like needles and pings
Remember: that ache is about growing wings!
(Credit: www.summercamp.org)


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Manny Pacquiao has been urged to fight a real boxer instead of pushing through with an exhibition bout against DK Yoo. AP (file photo) |
MANILA—International boxing promoter Aljoe Jaro has advised former Senator and eight-division world champion Manny Pacquiao to stop his upcoming exhibition six-round fight against South Korean YouTuber DK Yoo in December in Seoul, South Korea.
Whether it's a real boxing fight or an exhibition bout, the US-based Filipino promoter said the 43-year-old ring icon should fight a real boxer or any known popular mixed martial artist like UFC champion Conor McGregor to earn real money.
"He shouldn't fight that Korean first of all. If he really wants to come back and fight, he should be fighting a real boxer or any popular fighter who has a name like McGregor that can entertain millions of fans around the world," Jaro said.
"Those types of fights are killing the sport of boxing. If they want some entertainment, they must choose a better fighter than that—like a real boxer who already retired with the same weight class. At the same time, nobody knows who's that Korean," Jaro added.
Yoo is the founder of Warfare Combat System, a fighting coach with 654,000 subscribers on YouTube, but Jaro said nobody knows him in the United States despite Yoo's claims that he's planning to have future exhibition bouts with McGregor, retired Floyd Mayweather Jr., and Logan Paul.
"Except some Koreans, nobody knows him, especially in the US. The weight and the height difference are not good too. That Korean is taller and I think heavier than him. I expect that fight may end up to a wrestling bout," Jaro said.
A real boxing fight or against a most popular fighter, according to Jaro, will allow Pacquiao to earn a more oversized purse than this to help his cause.
"If he wants to fight for charity to help more Filipinos, I think he should choose a well-known attractive rival that can get million of earnings from the fight," Jaro explained. "He is Manny Pacquiao and respected by the whole world. He has a big name in the boxing world."
Jaro is not only a successful trainer abroad but also a great promoter who produced ex-Filipino world champions like IBF minimumweight titlist Florante Condes Jr., WBC flyweight champion Sonny Boy Jaro, Thailand's IBF flyweight champion Amnat Ruenroeng, Denver Cuello and Bernabe Concepcion.
Jaro is also aware of the pending lawsuit of Paradigm Sports Management (PSM) headed by CEO Audie Attar to Pacquiao but refused to say anything.
Pacquiao was sued by PSM before the Superior Court of California for alleged breach of contract. PSM is also seeking to recover the $3.3 million it claims it paid Pacquiao in advance for a fight PSM is eyeing for the boxer.
Follow the site on Twitter: @DugoutPH


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Motor Speech Disorders (Dysarthria and Apraxia)
When the normal speech pattern is interrupted or verbal communication is adversely affected, this is called a motor speech disorder. Motor speech disorders are either cerebral in nature, meaning the brain or nervous system have been damaged, or neuro-muscular, meaning that the muscles used to produce speech are not cooperating with the brain. Patients who live with a motor speech disorder experience:
- Stuttering
- Slurred, choppy, or mumbled speech
- Slow rate of speech
- Muteness
- Changes in voice quality (nasal speech, hoarseness, breathy voice)
Motor speech disorders may occur at birth, such as cerebral palsy or muscular dystrophy, or they can develop later in life due to a nervous system disorder. Two treatable motor speech disorders are dysarthria and apraxia.
What is the difference between dysarthria and apraxia?
Apraxia is a disorder of the brain and nervous system. Patients with apraxia are unable to perform vocal movements even though they comprehend the task. Apraxia usually follows a brain injury, neurodegenerative disease, brain tumor, stroke, or head trauma. People who live with apraxia have difficulty putting words together in the correct order or 'reaching' for the correct word while speaking.
Dysarthria occurs when a patient's muscles do not coordinate together to produce speech. Weak or inefficient motor movements prevent dysarthria patients from speaking clearly. Like apraxia, dysarthria can be the result of stroke or a degenerative condition, but it is also frequently seen in people with cerebral palsy, Parkinson's disease, or multiple sclerosis.
Treatment for Dysarthria and Apraxia at Ogden Clinic
Ogden Clinic speech-language pathologists work with each individual to improve communication abilities. Although dysarthria and apraxia have different causes, the approach to treatment has some similarities. The goal of motor speech disorder therapy may include:
- Improving breath support and sound production
- Increasing tongue and lip movement
- Strengthening speech muscles
- Slowing the rate of speech
In many cases, our experts also teach caregivers and family members different strategies to communicate with patients who have motor-speech conditions. Alternative means of communication such as simple gestures, pictures, and electronic devices are excellent communication aides that help breach the gap of interaction.
Select providers are now using Telemedicine.
Telemedicine to see if your next visit can take place over video chat.
Douglas Anderson, MD
Allergy, Ear, Nose & Throat, Speech PathologyView Profile
John R. Siddoway, MD
Allergy, Ear, Nose & ThroatView Profile
Nadim Bikhazi, MD
Allergy, Ear, Nose & Throat, Speech PathologyView Profile
Megan Walker, CCC-SLP
Speech PathologyView Profile
Colby Mitchell, PA-C
Allergy, Ear, Nose & ThroatView Profile
- Right Career, Right Here


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There's a warm and fuzzy feeling you get after walking out of the salon sporting a hair-commercial blowout. With hair as smooth and voluminous as any Victoria's Secret model's, your confidence skyrockets and your mood instantly perks up. But behind the euphoria that comes with a professional, blowout-induced good hair day, you can't help but feel dismay over the fact that it would be borderline rocket science to attempt to re-create the same salon-worthy strands at home – until now, that is.
After learning that Glamsquad is exclusively using the innovative, new Dyson Supersonic Dryer ($400) for all at-home blowout appointments, we figured they were the perfect source for some serious blow-drying hacks. So we tapped hairstylist Giovanni Vaccaro, the creative director for Glamsquad, for his best blow-drying tips and tricks for achieving your personalized, perfect hair in a cinch. Read on!
Robe courtesy of Victoria's Secret.
#Glamsquad #CurlyHair #DIYBeauty #Dyson #Hair #beautiful #cosmetology #beauty #diy #naturalhair #blowdryhacks #haircare #hairtips #allnatural
I may receive a small amount of compensation or reward when you purchase from links in my videos, descriptions and/or posts and I promise to totally blow it on my ice cream and shoe shopping habits. You also won't be charged extra by using these links, so it's a win-win!


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Do I want to have kids? | Just Reflections - Issue #8
Hi friends,
A few comments I got about the last issue said it was shorter than usual. Interestingly, my draft was longer than usual and when I shortened it I guess I took out too much. I still have a lot to share about heuristics and bias, so if you'd like me to write more on it in the future, hit reply and let me know.
I'd also like to know what people prefer in terms of the length of the issues. Do you like long ones, short ones or the length doesn't matter as long as the content is interesting? Please let me know in a reply.
Let's get it!
Our wedding anniversary is coming up in a few weeks 🎉 and I'm really glad that I don't have kids. I know this comes as a disappointment to people who have been wondering why we don't have kids yet. I'm sorry (I'm not really sorry).
Most of my friends have children. Most had their first child in their first year of marriage and some before they got married. And as the group splinters into the parents and non-parents, I — like many people — watch my friends with their kids and feel envious, and feel like calling my wife right away for a quick … a quick family meeting. I also watch videos of kids on social media and my heart melts at how cute they are with their tiny little limbs and their intriguing questions and, again, wish I had my own. But when the day ends and I'm back to my senses, I'm always glad that I didn't have to bring any of them home with me. I've really enjoyed being married without kids. I've enjoyed focusing on establishing my career before needing to disappear into paternal responsibility. And I wonder how different my life would have been if we had a child in our first year.
Apparently, the number of people having kids is slowly decreasing. It seems millennials aren't enthusiastic about having kids. Unlike generations before, having kids is no longer a natural step that follows getting married. We wonder if we should have children at all if we only want children because we were brought up to want them. It's something we believe we can choose. I am one of those millennials. I think there needs to be some sort of acknowledgement that not everyone should be a parent. When parenting is a given, it's not fully considered or thought out, and it gives way too easily to parental ambivalence and unhappiness.
There are so many things to think about when considering when and whether to become a parent. And that can create this sense of tension that can be really difficult to untangle. No one can untangle it for anyone else, but today I want to talk about a few of the factors that I believe should shape that decision and can hopefully ease some of the tension. If you want more thoughts on the subject, check out Jessica Valenti's book "Why Have Kids?: A New Mom Explores the Truth About Parenting and Happiness" or listen to this episode of the NPR's Life Kit program titled "There's Never A 'Right' Time For A Baby — But These Questions Can Help You Decide".
Let me be quick to say, I don't need to have kids to have an opinion about parenting and having kids doesn't make anyone a parenting expert. It's possible to learn a subject without personal experience. In fact, for many subjects, it's easier to stay objective when you learn as much as you can before you have a personal experience. With that out of the way, let's talk about parenting!
Parental Regret
Parenthood is often portrayed as the most magical thing. But what if your truth differs from what you expected it to be? Have you ever suspected that some parents 'secretly' hate being parents? This is a tough subject to be honest about because it's about kids, they're so adorable, they're a gift and if you already have kids, it's taboo to even think about the possibility that you may not have wanted to have them. Or at least not at the time that you did. Yeah, your kids are your world and everything but humour me for a moment. It's possible to love your child and care for them, but still hate being a parent.
We don't have to keep suspecting because the internet has all the answers. One brave woman on Reddit made the following confession on the parenting subreddit, acknowledging that deep down, she honestly doesn't actually like being a mom. Although she loves her kid, her reality is that she does not love being a mother.
After her confession, many other parents poured in with some of their own. That thread is one of the saddest things I've read in recent weeks.
Here's something else to consider. In 2008, the state of Nebraska in the United States decriminalized child abandonment. The move was designed to address increasing rates of infanticide in the state. Under the law, parents in Nebraska who felt unprepared to care for their children could drop them off in a designated location without fear of arrest and prosecution. Legislators decided not to include an age limitation for dropped-off children because they believed all distressed children needed to be rescued, not just infants.
In a few weeks of the law passing, parents started dropping off their kids. However, none of the kids were infants. A couple of months in, 36 children had been left in state hospitals and police stations. Twenty-two of the children were over 13 years old. One father dropped off nine of his ten children from ages one to 17, the remaining one couldn't be dropped off because they were 18 years old. Others drove from neighbouring states to drop off their children once they heard they could abandon them without repercussion. The Nebraska state government, realizing their mistake, held a special session of the legislature to rewrite the law to add an age limitation and restrict children from other states. On November 21, 2008, the last day that the law was in effect for children of all ages, a mother from Yolo County, California, drove over 1,200 miles (approx. 1,920 km) to the Kimball County Hospital in Nebraska where she left her 14-year-old son.
If you want more details about the Nebraska safe-haven law, listen to the story on CBC radio and read this one in Time magazine.
It's easy to think these crazy Americans have no morals, but what happened in Nebraska raises an important question: If there were no consequences, how many of us would give up our kids? After all, child abandonment is nothing new, and it's certainly not rare. In the United States alone, there are almost half a million children in foster care. Thousands of parents relinquish their children every year. And given that this is a difficult thing to admit, we can reasonably assume there are many more people who feel the same but don't say it or abandon their children.
The stories on Reddit are largely from women who identify themselves as financially stable and they spell out something less explicit than well-worn reasons for parental unhappiness such as poverty and a lack of support. The feeling of a loss of self, the terrifying reality that their lives have been subsumed into the needs of their child. One parent wrote, "I feel like I have completely lost anything that was me. I never imagined having children and putting myself aside would make me feel this bad." Another wrote, "The expectation of total motherhood is bad enough, having to live it out every day is soul-crushing. Everything that made me an individual, that made me unique, no longer matters. It's my role as a mother that defines me."
I have all these fears, but I know the expectations are much worse for women and most times, women are made to bear the bigger share of the burden. Society is more forgiving of men who aren't there for their kids than women. This means that the decision about whether you really have the desire for kids is even more important for women, together with the decision about who you choose to co-parent with because they can make or break your experience. While it's acceptable for men, popular culture still can't accept the reality of a woman who does not want to be a mother. It goes against everything it has taught us about women and how desperately they want babies. That even teen girls are forever desperate for a baby, that it's their greatest desire. So there's pressure from many directions.
So my first reflection is if I have kids without understanding what I'm getting into or who I'm getting into it with, I will probably regret being a parent and be miserable.
The happiness gap
Despite widespread cultural beliefs, research suggests that being a parent doesn't make you happier than not being one. In fact, a popular 2016 study titled "Parenthood and Happiness: Effects of Work-Family" by Dr Jennifer Glass and colleagues reveals that parents report lower levels of emotional well-being than non-parents in many developed countries. The image below shows a summary of what the study calls 'the happiness gap'.
Parenthood and Happiness: Effects of Work-Family
Now, I'm sure if I asked all my friends who are parents whether they think their children have made them happier, they would all say yes. But I need to make this second consideration in my decision, that having kids has a fairly significant likelihood to bring me anxiety, stress and financial trouble that I wouldn't have if I don't have them. There is a huge cultural myth that children will magically bring joy to your life and that can lead people to go into parenthood with the wrong expectation.
Unintended children
This study conducted by Jennifer Barber, a population researcher at the University of Michigan, shows that 'unintended children' receive less attention and warmth from their parents than children whose births were planned. They studied over 3,000 mothers and their close to 6,000 children from a range of socioeconomic backgrounds. The families were studied for eight years, from 1986 through 2004. For the study, women who had recently given birth were asked, "Just before you became pregnant, did you want to become pregnant when you did?" If they answered yes, the birth was classified as 'intended'. If they answered no, they were then asked if they wanted a baby, just not at that time, or whether they didn't want a baby at all. The researchers found that 24 percent of pregnancies were mistimed, and 10 percent were unwanted.
The results of Barber's research showed that the unintended children — both those who were mistimed and those who were unwanted — got fewer parental resources than those children who were intended. Basically, unplanned children didn't get as much emotional and cognitive support as children who were planned — as reported both by the researchers and the mothers themselves. Across the board, children who were wanted got more from their parents than children who weren't. Unplanned children were also subject to harsher parenting and more punitive measures than a sibling who was intended.
Barber pointed out that this kind of pattern could be because of parental stress and a lack of patience that's "directed explicitly toward an unwanted child," and that a mistimed or unwanted birth could raise stress levels in the parents' interactions with their other children as well. She also says that besides benign emotional neglect, parenting unintended children is also associated with infant health problems and mortality, maternal depression, and sometimes child abuse.
It's easy to think this could never be me, but as we spoke about in the last issue, we're all biased to view ourselves positively. When under pressure, we humans act in similar ways. If I have unintended kids — whether unwanted or mistimed — I will have an inclination towards giving them inadequate emotional and cognitive support.
Be fruitful and multiply
Is it sinful to be married and choose not to have kids? Some religious people say choosing not to have kids is disobeying "be fruitful and multiply". But is "be fruitful and multiply" a commandment? I don't think so. If it were a command, then marriage would not optional. But the Bible has multiple instances where it encourages not marrying for several reasons. Besides, if you believe this is a command, where do you stop? When is fruitful, fruitful enough? Should you just keep going as long as you're able?
That said, while there are many really valid reasons Christian people choose not to have children, I think just deciding not to because you want to have an easy life without the responsibility of taking care of someone else doesn't fully align with Christian dictum. Christianity is about denying self and selfish ambition and giving ourselves for other people. While the Bible is pretty clear that there will be tough times, it still has a really strong leaning towards having kids amidst those tough times. It doesn't share in the modern thinking that the prime goal of life is the avoidance of hardship. In fact, biblical teaching seems to suggest that hardship has a place in our lives for shaping our character.
A case for having kids
Most of my research around having kids has revealed some pretty sad and bleak things and reading all this, I'm sure most people think that I probably don't want kids. But despite it all, I still want kids, it's inexplicable. I still want to join this crazy club of unhappy people and take my shot at making it work. Here's my reason.
Having kids is a risk, but life is a risk. For me, it's a risk worth taking. To appropriate Wajahat Ali's words, kids represent our best, boldest, most beautiful and infinite possibilities and if I opt-out and don't invest in present and future generations, then what the hell is the point of everything I'm building? Kids are an opportunity for me to give all I can to propel someone much further than I could ever get. They are a chance to exercise my love muscles by caring and taking full responsibility for someone who cannot give me anything in return, who's not obligated to. Parenting is me casting my vote for the future of humanity. However, I feel like there's a lot I don't know (I think there's a lot that people who already have kids don't know as well) and I should have the humility to accept that and learn from those who know better.
I put all the negatives at the top to highlight the fact that I understand that this is a decision I need to approach with careful caution. Like, The School of Life put it;
"No honest experience of parenting is complete without an intimate and very strong impression that in some ways children are both the meaning of one's life and the cause of the ruin of one's life," - The school of life, To have or not to have children
Just like every other choice in life, I know that if I have kids, I will have some points where I'm thrilled about my decision and I'll have others where I'm absolutely miserable, but it is still an experience I want to have. The best case for having kids, I found on this internet is by Jordan Peterson on this YouTube video. To see someone like Jordan Peterson light up like that, I want that. It's too long for me to include here and I'm hard-pressed to decide which parts to quote, but please watch it.
On a more altruistic note, apparently, birth rates in most countries in the world are not high enough to replenish the population and they're dropping further each year. Many countries are worried that in a few years, populations are going to get into an irreversible downward trend. Wajahat Ali explains a lot about the implications of that in the Ted Talk "The case for kids".
A lot of parenthood regret is because of getting into it ill-prepared. It comes from approaching it without a full grasp of what exactly it is and what it involves and requires of us. And because of failing to make a careful consideration of the person we choose to be co-parents with.
Many millennials who say they don't want to have kids do it because they don't want to carry that additional responsibility. They feel it's unnecessary and is an affront to their individuality and independence. I can't relate to this, it sounds a little too self-focused for me. I would not be happy to look back at my life and see that I have lived my life only for myself. However, those who feel like they've lost themselves and their own individuality because of having kids bear this in mind. Children should come first, no doubt, but according to development psychologist Dr Aliza Pressman;
"If you sacrifice yourself and your mental health for your child, you're actually taking away from your child's development. Think about on a plane when they say put your oxygen mask on first. You cannot take care of another person without taking care of yourself. And you also need to show your child through modelling that you can have self compassion and self care and still love other people and, in fact thrive loving other people because you've taken that time." - Dr Aliza Pressman, Development Psychologist.
There are many struggles in parenting, more than those who have kids are open about. But there are a lot of great things about it if done right. The 'if done right' is very key. We need to realise how great a responsibility it is. Many people are just winging it and unfortunately, the error of their ways will probably only emerge many years down the line and might affect multiple generations. Before you nonchalantly approach parenting, remember that your actions will have repercussions on many generations that will come after you.
That's all I have for you this week. If you like the newsletter, consider sharing it with others on Twitter, WhatsApp or Facebook. Hit the thumbs up or thumbs down below to let me know what you think about the issue.
I hope I've given you something to think about this week and I wish you ever-increasing curiosity.
Until next week.
Further Reading
Why am I expected to have children just because I'm a woman?
More women are choosing not to have kids, and society can't cope
Impactful ideas that challenged my thinking.
I have a lot of interests so I'm always learning all kinds of things, some of which really challenge my thinking. In the Just Reflections newsletter, I'll be sharing with you a summary of the ideas that challenged my thinking recently and hopefully they will challenge yours too and we grow together.
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A financial analysis paper subtle elements an organization's financial health. While the organization's history, financial statements and stock performance can all abridge diverse parts of its financial performance, the financial analysis paper fuses these subtle elements and more into an exhaustive and intelligible form.
Loan specialists, speculators and financial investigators look at the financial analysis paper to decide whether an organization can convey a strong degree of profitability.
Learn Key Tips On How To Write Financial Analysis Paper
Writing a nitty gritty financial analysis of an organization is extremely essential since it is one of the instruments utilized in deciding if to put resources into the business. Note that there is no specific system of writing a financial analysis, and the introduction styles will dependably vary. Notwithstanding, it regards guarantee that you incorporate the key parts in any financial analysis you get ready. Remember that the financial health of an organization can just be resolved once every one of the parts have been carefully audited.
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Industry analysis
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Financial statement
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The most essential piece of any financial analysis is to come to a free an incentive for the stock and compare this to the market cost. There are three essential valuation procedures:
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Key Risks
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Vertical analysis is additionally called static analysis since it is completed for a solitary time period.
Focal points and Disadvantages of Vertical Analysis
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Since essential vertical analysis is contracted by utilizing a solitary time period, it has the burden of missing out on examination crosswise over various time periods to check performance. This can be tended to by utilizing it related to timeline analysis, which indicates what changes have happened in the financial records after some time, for example, a similar analysis over a three-year duration. For example, if the expense of offers comes out to be just 30 percent of offers every year before, however this year the rate comes out to be 45 percent, it would be a reason for concern.


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If you have a little one who always after admiring animals, then turning their birthday into a jungle affair can be perfect for their birthday theme. Let everyone go wild. Our jungle party items for your kid's first birthday party will turn your party space into a tropical green forest! Invite all fellow jungle travelers (LITTLE KID GUESTS) to the journey of celebrating the special day most uniquely. The addition of a green foil curtain for the backdrop is sure to add greenery to your party walls, bringing the feel of wild safari!
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This Combo Includes:
13 - Happy Birthday Paper Banner
30 - Metallic Balloons - Green & White
01 - Number Foil Balloon
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Alphabets | N/A |
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affiner votre recherche
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Level 4
George Orwell
Winston Smith lives in a society where the government controls people's lives every second of the day. Alone in his small, one-room apartment, Winston dreams of a better life. Is freedom from this life of suffering possible?
Lire la suite
Arthur C. Clarke
2001: A Space Odyssey – a great film and a famous novel. An object is found on the Moon. Who made it? Men travel into space to find out – a billion kilometres to the rings of Saturn. Something is waiting for them…
Level 1
Raymond Pizante
Ali wants to take photos of people and places in Istanbul, but he has a big problem: he hasn't got a camera. How can he get one?
All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.
Edgar Allan Poe
Are you brave enough to read four of Poe's famous horror stories? Edgar Allan Poe wrote strange stories about terrible people and evil crimes… Don't read this book late at night!
Stephen King
Gordie Lanchance and his three friends are always ready for adventure. When they hear about a dead body in the forest they go to look for it. Then they discover how cruel the world can be.
Aldous Huxley
D.H. Lawrence
These stories paint colourful pictures of life in Britain and America in the past. We meet some unusual people. There's the dreamy boy who wakes up one day to find a bird making a nest in his hair! And there's the man who tries to catch a ghost.
Oscar Wilde
The famous Canterville Ghost haunts an old house, but the ghost becomes unhappy when the new owners play tricks on him! In the other stories, we meet Lord Arthur Savile, who has to murder someone before he can get married, and we discover the secret life of beautiful Lady Alroy.
Charles Dickens
Scrooge is a mean man. He loves money, and he doesn't like people. He really doesn't like Christmas. But some ghosts visit him. Will Scrooge learn from the ghosts? Can he change?
David Copperfield's happy life suddenly changes when his mother marries again. Her new husband is cruel to him and sends him away to school. When David's mother dies, he is sent to work in London. He hates his job so he runs away. He has no money for food or for travelling. But it is the beginning of his life of adventure.
Anne Frank
It is 1942 in Holland and the Germans have invaded. All Jewish people are frightened for their lives, so the Frank family hide. Life is dangerous but they hope for the best – until they are finally discovered. Anne Frank was a real person, and this is her diary.
Christopher Marlowe
Doctor Faustus is a clever man who is greedy for knowledge and power. After he signs an agreement with the Devil, in his own blood, his new skills are admired around the world. But there are two sides to an agreement with the Devil. There is a price to pay...
Katherine Mansfield
Katherine Mansfield is one of the most famous short story writers in the English language. These four stories take place about a hundred years ago in England and New Zealand. They are sometimes funny, sometimes sad and often cruel.
There are five stories in this book. 'The Fall of the House of Usher' and 'The Barrel of Amontillado' are stories of madness; 'The Maelstrom' describes fear of death during a storm on the ocean; and in 'The Murders of the Rue Morgue' and 'The Stolen Letter' meet C. Auguste Dupin, Poe's famous Parisian detective.
Leslie Poles Hartley
It is the summer of 1900 and Leo is staying with his friend Marcus. Leo likes Marcus's beautiful older sister very much. To make her happy, he becomes a secret messenger for her and a local farmer. But then he realises what their messages are about, and his whole life begins to change.
John Steinbeck
Set in the Great Depression in the United States, The Grapes of Wrath is the story of the Joad family and their odyssey from Oklahoma to California to escape the Dust Bowl of the 1930s.
F. Scott Fitzgerald
During one hot summer on Long Island, Jay Gatsby throws an amazing party every weekend. He is an extremely wealthy man, although no one knows where he or his money have come from. But Gatsby has a purpose: he is following a dream of love. Will his dream come true?


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Rockstar Games has announced a brand new partnership with Twitch Prime which will grant players exclusive rewards for being subscribed to Prime and redeeming packs. Twitch partners with many companies to bring exclusive content to their subscribers, and this is a very large partnership that we're seeing.
If you are a Twitch Prime subscriber, you can visit this link to redeem an instant $1,250,000 in GTA Online, $300 in Red Dead Online, and the "Superior Ammo Bundle in Red Dead Online, which includes 30 Dynamite Arrows, 60 Incendiary Buckshot Ammo, 30 Volatile Fire Bottles and 200 Express Ammo for the Pistol, Revolver, Repeater & Rifle"
"Rockstar Games Social Club x Twitch Prime Benefits members will also receive discounts and up to 15% bonus value on purchases of Shark Cash Cards in GTA Online or Gold Bars in Red Dead Online."
The company also announced that future content will be revealed in the future, likely bonuses with the upcoming Casino update.


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Reko Rennie
#Remember Me
Continuing a strong record of collaboration, Indigenous artist Reko Rennie worked alongside UAP to develop and fabricate an artwork commission for Yarra City Council in Melbourne, Australia. Rennie was tasked with creating a public work which pays tribute to the Stolen Generations — acting as an important community memorial and a space for visitors to sit, reflect, mourn and remember.
Incorporating traditional Indigenous symbols Remember Me acknowledges the trauma of past events and recognizes the strengths and resilience of the Aboriginal community. Nine vertical spears represent the battles of past and present, each fabricated in cast bronze to authentically express the handmade nature of traditional spears. Central to the space is a bronze coolamon — a bark vessel traditionally used to carry infants — representing family. Together with the granite seating treated with Rennie's signature geometric patterns, each element is positioned within a ceremonial ring, creating a circle of gathering, remembrance and contemplation within the park.
My vision for the Stolen Generations Marker is an inclusive environment where people can sit and peacefully reflect on, mourn and acknowledge the deep trauma of the past, as well as connect with the ongoing strength and resilience of the Aboriginal community and support the process of healing.
Reko Rennie
Image credits: Courtesy of Yarra City Council / Nicole Gleary, Rachel See
Reko Rennie
#Project summary
Reko Rennie
Artwork Title
Remember Me
Stolen Generation Memorial
Yarra City Council
Melbourne, Australia