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Posted by : Matt Adams |
In Part 1 I started telling you my story of life with an obsessive ex. In Part 2 I discussed the motivation, denial of the breakup and the triggers for obsessive ex's behavior.
In this third installment, I'll discuss how people judge someone with an obsessive ex, the emotions that someone with an obsessive ex deals with, how you can begin to break free of being stalked, and the six stages of an obsessive ex. So let's start with that.
The 6 Stages of Obsessive Ex's
So there are 6 stages of behavior that obsessive ex's will exhibit over the course of time. It's possible that all stages may not be perceived right away, especially early on in the relationship. It's not until you look back later can you clearly categorize some of their behaviors into these stages. It's also possible that not all of these stages will occur in every case.
Stage 1 – Dating
The Obsessor finds someone who makes them feel powerful and important. They do whatever they can to attract that person into their life. Men may turn on the charm full blast. Women might too. In my case my ex pretended she was physically abused. This prompted the "white knight" in me and of course, I felt I had to rescue her. On an unconscious level, the Obsessor will test to see how much control they can have over the other persons life. If the Obsessor sees that they can manipulate their chosen partner, they will become even more attracted to them.
Stage 2 – Long Term Relationship
The Obsessor now makes their partner the center of their world, and will view them as the main symbol of him or her self. The Obsessor will then seek to establish complete control over the partners life, and a power struggle may ensue for this control. The Obsessor will use anything they can to preserve control of their world, including lies (my ex uses lies to create a reality that doesn't exist but that her victims will believe), money (my ex used to say she was an "heiress" and would inherit a fortune when her parents died to try to get me to stay around, this never once was appealing enough for me to even consider it), intimidation (my ex would threaten to do things or would actually do things to embarrass me in front of others, making me look unprofessional), and violence (my ex would threaten to kill herself, she once bit a tow trick driver in the chest, she led the police on a low speed chase and refused to pull over, and even sent the police to the house where my family was living at 3 in the morning).
Stage 3 – Breaking Up
The Obsessor refuses to accept the relationship is over and that their partner is moving on. In the Obsessors view, it is not up to the partner to decide that the relationship is over and the Obsessor will argue continuously and try will try anything to regain control over their ex.
If both are going through divorce, the Obsessor may try delaying the trial or try to punish the ex in the divorce agreement.
If children are involved, the Obsessor will begin to view them as an object to be used to reclaim power. The Obsessor might use visitations to verbally attack their ex, and he or she might use the issue of custody as a way to maintain control over their ex.
Stage 4 – Stalking
The Obsessive Ex will continuously try making contact with their ex, and continue to try having conversations, even when their ex has made it clear there is nothing more to talk about.
Stalking behavior includes, but is not limited to following, watching, spying, monitoring, talking to other people about their ex, spreading rumors about their ex, keeping in con act with their ex's friends, family, co-workers and anyone else who may know their ex.
It's unfortunate that most people do not recognize this as stalking behavior, and they do not realize they too are being manipulated. The ex may not have the support of his or her friends, family and others; they will misinterpret the Obsessors behavior as having a broken heart and confuse it as "true love"; they will also think that the Obsessor will stop the behavior.
Stage 5 – Menacing
During this stage, Obsessive Ex's will try to use intimidation in the way of contact, making threats or any other unlawful trespassing to try to win their ex back. They might make vague threats against their ex or any children that might be involved, including threats of kidnapping. The Obsessive Ex might use som forms of physical aggression including blocking or standing in the way of their ex or yelling while walking towards them. No physical contact is present in Stage 5. Unlawful trespassing includes behavior such as defamation of character, character assassination, blackmail, etc… Typically it is at this point that the victims friends and family and others will begin to recognize that the Obsessor is a serious problem.
Stage 6 – Physical Violence
At this stage, the Obsessor will do just about anything to reclaim power and control over their ex. Because the Obsessor sees others (including people, children and animals) as objects and places worth on them depending on how useful they are they are to him or her, the Obsessor overlooks the fact that they are live beings. Stage 6 is where an Obsessor is willing to kill pets, kidnap and or murder a child, or murder others (new partners, friends, family, etc…) who stand in their way.
Being Judged By Others
The other day I emailed my Singles Meetup group because I thought the first two articles would be a good read for anyone who might have a obsessive ex, and also because I believe she might have been contacting the people in my group, as that has been a pattern of her behavior in the past. The first email I received was from a friend trying to warn me that people were going to judge me. "Good!" I said, "Bring it on! It'll make for good content on my blog! lol!" Here's an email from a woman in my group shortly after I sent my email out.
Please do not email me articles like the one I just received from you about a crazy stalker ex. I did not join this meetup group to receive these kind of articles. How can you possibly trash and then call someone you supposedly loved a psycho? Weren't you the one who chose to go out with her in the first place? OR was she not crazy when you met her but then she developed a mental disease as a result of dating you ? What do you think this article and your dysfunctional relationships say about you? Birds of a feather flock together ! If she is psycho, then SO ARE YOU ! Get off your high horse and stop airing your dirty linen for the whole world to see ! And I am not her nor do I know her or have any affiliation with her. I just think that what you are doing is wrong !
And here's my response:
Hi Xxxx,
Thank you for the email. I'd like to respond to your comments.
First up, this attitude about blaming me for her actions is exactly why I'm speaking out. People have to realize that blaming the victim is harmful to the person being stalked. And, if you had taken the time to read the articles, you'd know that right off the bat I accepted responsibility for missing the warning signs.
It's fine for you to have your opinion, I can respect that. But just because I loved someone at one point doesn't mean I do anymore. And I have the right to change my mind on that.
There are many people who are afraid to speak out when they are stalked, believe me, I was afraid to speak out for a long time too. 4 years. I was ashamed and humiliated to have this woman acting that way towards me and contacting the people I know, embarrassing me like that, ruining my relationships. But in all that time of keeping it to myself, nothing has changed! I'm still being harassed.
Honestly, I'd much rather throw everything out there in the open and let the cards land where they may than have her operating in secrecy trying to tear me down.
I hope you can understand where I'm coming from. Please try to have a little bit of compassion.
As far as not wanting to receive anymore of my articles by email, with all due respect, this is my group. I will run it how I want to run it. You are free to change your email settings or leave my group if you really think you have to.
Whatever your choice, I respect your decision and wish you the best.
Again, thank you for the email. This discussion is helpful.
All the best,
Now, you may be wondering why I'm sharing this. It's not easy being the subject of someone's unhealthy stalking. I've remained quiet for 4 years. I've sat by, let her do her thing, never said a word, and dealt with all of the consequences. And nothing has changed. Wasn't it Einstein who said that the definition of crazy was doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result?
That's not the only point though. People want to blame the victim. How is that helpful? Are people going to judge me for having an obsessive ex? Sure they are. But to be honest, I just don't care anymore. Judge me. Call me crazy. Leave my Meetup group. Whatever you want to do, do it. Because I'm strong enough to take it and your opinions don't matter that much to me. I've handled this alone for 4 years, and I if have to handle it alone now, well, big deal. But if I have at least one person come to me and say that me speaking out has inspired them to stand up for themselves and take action against their ex, then I will feel like I've done some good in this world.
Here is another email I received:
Wow, I think this is an incredibly inappropriate use of your email abilities as organizer of this group. It's also extremely slanderous to talk about a person like this. I can't quite tell if this is pure fake to try to drum up some business or partly real but you're still abusing your own story and experiences to drum up business. Either way, totally inappropriate. I am leaving this group and want you to to ensure I don't receive any future emails from you.
And here is my reply:
Hi Xxxxxxx.
First let me say that I'm very grateful for your email and I'll explain why if you care to hear me out.
I'm not slandering my ex because I'm not directly naming her. I'm simply calling attention to the fact that she's operating in the shadows trying to destroy my reputation.
You made an accusation of me trying to "us[e] [my] own story and experiences to" "drum up some business", let me just say that that is absolutely not my intention here.
So if that isn't my intention, then what is?
For the last 4 years, I've remained silent about this, and I've continued to be the good little quiet victim that my ex would like me to be, while she continues to tear me down and destroy my reputation.
My blogs and the email I sent out are an effort to break out of that ineffective pattern (based on some of the research I've been doing about obsessive ex's) and also to start some discussion about it.
It is very hard for victims of this type of abuse to speak out. I'm grateful for your email because it shows exactly what my next blog will be about, that when victims speak out they are usually judged for it.
Well, I'm not afraid of being judged anymore. For the past 4 years I was ashamed and humiliated to have this woman acting that way towards me and contacting the people I know, embarrassing me like that, ruining my relationships.
As far as your thoughts about my email being "totally inappropriate", you are entitled to your opinion. I think there are people out there who are just as afraid and ashamed to deal with this as I was.
If my blogs and my email can help just one person stand up and confront their obsessive ex, then losing a few people from my group who would rather judge me than learn anything from my experiences will have been worth it.
I hope you can understand where I'm coming from. Please try to have a little bit of compassion.
Sorry you felt you had to leave the group. I respect your decision and wish you the best.
I sincerely wish to thank you if you have read this email. This discussion has been helpful.
All the best to you,
The Emotions That Healthy Ex's Deal With
In both of my replies, I mention that I felt shame and humiliation. I was ashamed to have dated this girl and I was humiliated by her behavior. These are only two of the emotions I have felt, but by far, they were the toughest to deal with.
You read how that first person judged me and called me crazy too. Sometimes this is how people react. You have to deal with it when it happens. As you saw in my reply, I did not get defensive. I simply made myself vulnerable by sharing my perspective and revealing my feelings of shame and humiliation, and you know what? Their next email was much more respectful toward me. The other person did not reply. You can't win 'em all, but at least you can win a few of them.
You certainly may face an uphill battle when you let people know you have an obsessive ex, especially if your ex is trying to turn your friends and family against you. And that could very well happen. When I broke it off with my ex she started sending friend requests to my friends on Facebook. She didn't know my family well (and my family didn't like her to begin with) so contacting them was pointless.
The worst emotion you will experience is fear. You must come from a place where you are fearless. Know that your ex is using your fear to control you and manipulate you. Again, with obsessive ex's, it all comes down down to control. They just want to control you and they don't really care how they do, just as long as they doing it. Smash through your fear and break free from their control. This is so important that I'm including a section of specific steps that you can use to break free from your obsessive ex.
How To Break Free From An Obsessive Ex
1. Give Them A Final Rejection
Your ex will try to manipulate you or negotiate with you. Do NOT let them. Turn down any requests for dates or meetings of any kind. Do NOT do any favors for them. While you are rejecting them, look them in the eye. Do NOT try to console them and do NOT touch them. Send a clear message that it's over.
2. Do Not Reminisce
Don't talk about the happy times you had with each other. Talk excitedly about your how you are happy now and how you've moved on. Trying to get you to remember how happy you may have been at one point is an attempt to control you emotionally. Do NOT fall for this.
3. Cut Off All Connection
As soon as you can, mail anything belonging to your ex to them in one shipment. This includes any gifts they may have given you. Your ex might continue contacting you. Block them anywhere and everywhere you can, including but not limited to email, Facebook (and any other social networking sites you are connected on) and phone. You may also need to get a new and unlisted phone number. Return any mail they send. Do NOT contact them at all by any means. For them to be clear that there is no hope of getting back together you must send a strong message that you are done.
4. Send A Stern Warning If Your Ex Persists
When it is clear that your ex does not intend on going away, warn them that if they keep it up you will take legal action. Be prepared to contact the authorities, especially if you receive any threats. Be prepared to get a no contact order, a restraining order or a civil protection order. Do everything you can to ensure that you live a peaceful life.
5. Speak Out To Your Friends, Family & Co-Workers About Your Ex
You're going to need support, plain and simple, and you need your friends and family on your side. You have to make them aware that your ex may try to move in on them and try to use them against you. Don't go into the relationship or talk about how bad your ex was or is by giving examples of their behavior, as this could be interpreted as you trying to be manipulative, just make it clear you are done with the relationship and you are moving forward.
It's critical that you get to them first and make them aware of the situation, before your ex can manipulate them in his or her favor, using the above mentioned tactic about talking bad about you. Your ex will try making themselves out to be a victim, and they will try to play on the sympathy of your friends and family. Warn your friends and family that that's what your ex will try to do. Tell them to inform your ex that they don't want to be in the middle and instruct them to stop communicating with your ex as soon as possible. This may be harder if you have mutual friends, and you must be willing to let go of those friends if they choose to side with your ex.
After I broke up with my ex she started sending my friends requests on Facebook. I didn't set this frame with my friends right away, and so when I finally got around to telling them, they told me that they didn't want to be in the middle. Needless to say, I didn't keep them as friends once they showed their true colors.
Also, you must be willing to handle people blaming you for your ex's behavior but you must accept that and speak out anyway. Speaking out is so very critical for moving forward because it gives you the strength you need to make it through this.
6. Start Building A Case
It's possible that you'll need evidence for a court case if thing go that far. Hopefully they don't, but save any and all communications from your ex, including things like emails, text messages, notes, letters, voice messages. Save it all to prove that you're receiving unwanted attention. Keep a detailed journal of everything your ex does. Be sure to report any illegal and unlawful activities to the police as soon as it happens. If he or she is calling you on the phone, report the calls to your phone company and have them take note of the unwanted calls.
7. Notify The Police
It would be foolish to tell you the police are going to protect you, but see number 9 for more about this. The police can only do something if your ex is on your property or in your house when they arrive. If your ex flee's beforehand the police won't do anything, but hey, at least they've left. At this point if your ex is making unwanted visits they are stalking you. Make sure you file a report with the police about what took place. One reason you're calling the police is to continue to build a case with paperwork and after this you can file for a restraining order or something similar.
8. Move.
If you absolutely have to, move. Do not list your new address. Ask the Department of Motor Vehicles and the Voter Registration Bureau to block your address. Have your mail forwarded to a post office box and don't open packages if you don't know who they're from.
9. Protect Your Self At All Times
As I mentioned earlier, the police aren't there to make sure you're safe. They have no obligation to protect you, despite what you may think. It's up to you to protect yourself. I advise you to get a permit to carry and get a firearm. Never mind less-than-lethal protection. Forget about it. Your life is your responsibility. Take it seriously. You can also take Brazilian Jiu Jitsu classes to learn how to defend yourself. Carry a cell phone with you at all times and maybe even get a guard dog.
Be Aware
If your ex has a habit of showing up, it's your responsibility to always be on the lookout. You can have your neighbors and co-workers keep an eye open for any suspicious activity when you are coming and going to and from your home and your place of work. The more eyes you have on you the better.
Yes I know, I promised you a couple more things. Those being:
– What You're Doing That Is Keeping Your Obsessive Ex Around
– My Motivation For This Article and
– My Conclusion To This Article
They're all coming up in the final blog about obsessive ex's. Make sure you read it!
~Matt Adams
P.S. If you've found this article helpful and/or informative please Comment, Tweet, Like, and +1 below.
UPDATE: More and more people are finding and reading these articles and are contacting me asking for help, so I have decided to start a private Facebook group for people who would like to vent, ask for help, connect with others, learn how to fight back, share their stories, and whatever else will contribute to others. To join the group, send me a friend request and a message on Facebook (I can't add you otherwise because it's a secret group), and I will add you.
Tags: dating, for men and women, relationships
Hello… it felt unbelievably comforting to realise that there are people out there struggling with the same issue.. I received threatening messages for a year by now & my friends received also messages telling them that I am a prostitute.. they never believed it but I can see it in their eyes ..they're getting cautious.. when it comes to talking to me. My boyfriend got beaten up violently, to leave me.. but eventually I left him as I couldn't withstand the regret that took over me! Now I'm terrified of making new friends, horrified to walk in the street & mostly… don't want my parents to know about any of this… I'm not even sure about the stalker's identity. The stalker wants to push people away from me & feel like he owns me.. in one of his messages he described what I did all day long in my house! Describing my body, my mothers body & my sister's too… I got insulted so did my whole family.. I'm ashamed.. I even had suicidal ideas… but it is indescribably unfair, as I'm only 16 years old & all I ever think about is when will I find an escape from all of this? Will I travel..? Create a fresh start.. & forget all about my robbed childhood & atrocious teenage years? Or will I stay here.. & continue the bloodsucking struggle journey?
Well, thank you so much for all your advice. I definitely needed this. Hopefully, I will be able to take control of my life again.
Thank you again.
Hi, Matt-
Thanks for sharing. I am currently dealing with the situation of which you speak. My ex was ABUSIVE. Not physically, but emotionally and verbally. I finally mustered up the courage to leave this man, and life was peaceful..for a slight spell (this was in November 2012 when I left). This man came to my job, deflated my tires, followed me to my new place of residence, followed me around the city (i used to live in a major US city). I got a new job, and moved to a different state. Fast forward to NOW, 2014..and this man is STILL trying..He has attempted to contact me through my family (who thank goodness are putting up a very solid front), and looking at my Linked in Profiles,my FB page (no, we are not FB friends), and has tried to call me from unidentified numbers. After telling him firmly, there is no way in Hades that we will be friends or anything beyond that…he is STILL trying. At this point, I know it's obsessive behavior, and though I am several states away, I am still a bit leery of my surroundings. I would suggest to you also to read "Coping with a Psychopath". It details the variuos types of stalkers and how to deal with them. I definitely empathize with you, and wish you the best of luck. Stalking, is SERIOUS as the victim never knows when/how the stalker is going to strike. If people don't take it seriously, they should. It's no laughing matter.
I really would like to thank you for the article. It has been very helpful considering that I too am suffering with a crazy ex. It started with please comeback then the children get drug into it then threats about telling mynew gf about encounters that never took place.im looking forward to the continuation of the article. Good luck
I have been married six years to a controlling, stalker. I have left him to many times to count only to have him show up and act like nothing happened. It's been the hardest thing to break it off with him. I'm worn out . totally drained, can barely smile, I have no support group family and friends are gone. I e d up giving in and hoping it to get better.. only to end up in so much pain for the loss of a marriage I can't seem to fix. He would call me, text me non stop to the point I couldn't stand my phone riding and now no one can talk to me on the phone I shut my ringer off. He shows up everywhere I go. Tracks my phone..held cat and kittens to control me. Drives by my house.. neighbors called me. Broke in my house. Did the gas lighting thing (if u don't know what this is. Google it ). He has talked me out of divorce many times after going to attorney. All I can say is he has fucked the joy out of me and my spirit is broken without support systems you feel stuck..trapped..
I currently am dealing with my husbands crazy ex. I feel hopeless. She spreads nasty rumors. Tells lies and text messages my husband at least 30 times a day. The text are regarding the children. But come one… 30+ text a day. She acts like my husband is incompetent and she must tell him every detail of what the children did that day and what we have t do when the kids are with us… My husband finally blocked her, because of the stress and drama she was causing. It was interfering with his work. Of course she just continues texting from a different number. It's sad and ridiculous. My husband is exhausted. I am exhausted. It's to the point and been going on so long. I don't see the light in my husbands eyes anymore. He seems like he is living everyday, just to make it to the next. It's very sad. I love him and I hate to see the effects it has had on him, me, my child and his children. The ex was diagnosed with borderline personaility disorder. But I believe her to be a sociopath. Sociopath lie about everything. So it is hard for a physchitrist to diagnose a sociopath.
You and your husband may want to look into Our Family Wizard. It is a monitored family email that cannot be tampered with. It can take control away from her by giving her only 1 means of communication that she cannot lie about. I have heard it can make life much easier for co-parenting with a crazy ex.
thanks so much for this blog or form. U have no idea how alone I have been feeling. My boss stalked me and ruined my life and in turn my now ex boyfriend broke up with me because of it and now he is stalking me and my current boyfriend thinks it's my fault and I can control it. Is there anyway to make people see I dint want this behavior. I want peace and to be left alone. I'm sick of playing victim but then if I behave anyway else I deserve it. I'm so sick of being scared blamed acussed and stomped on by people who claim to care. Please help
Thank you for making public what happens to so many people. I was actually stalked by my husbands ex. Something to include is if you are in a relationship with someone who has a crazy ex, you can also become a target. I was forced into getting a no contact stalking order to stop the direct abuse. I am sure she is still out there slandering us and playing the victim; however, she no longer has contact with us. I am sure she has her spies keeping track and she is probably gnashing her teeth to know he has moved on and our life is improving daily. Everything she has done to sabotage his life has backfired. He is happy, successful and living the life she wanted him to never have.
Matt I want to thank you for this article. I see I am about 2 years too late for discussion but I do hope you get a chance to read this.
I am currently dealing with a similar issue with an ex. I dated her in 2012 in England and she moved back home to India and I moved back home to California. Since that time she has done everything to ruin my relationships and peace of mind. It has been incredibly stressful and annoying. I never knew there could be something so detrimental stemming from a relationship.
I tried years later in 2014 to reach out to friends/classmates common to us to no avail. People treated me like I was doing something wrong. They couldn't believe this small "kind" woman could be terrorizing my household. It must be me. I was even told that I have to me misunderstanding her…cant really misunderstand someone trying to get back with you over and over even when you tell them to stop and leave you alone, including the fact you're in a committed relationship.
Over these years I have told her incessantly to leave me alone. Ive done so with force, anger, kindness, calmness, quietness, nothing worked. I told her she was destroying my family and life. She didn't care, she just wanted to be with me and carry on, even though there is like a 12 hour difference…Ive been called a soulmate runner, which is the absolutely craziest thing I have ever heard of.
So after reading some articles on people being stalked, I came across one where a woman went on the attack of her stalker and made a facebook page, shaming him. Of course people thought that was cruel, it worked and he stopped.
I thought to myself the next day, I should do the same. I could see that even after she agreed a month ago to leave me alone and get rid of her social media sites, that not only is she back, but she is again viewing my profile(s) on Facebook and Linkedin. So I created a page for her, which highlights all of what she has done, including emails and gchats (where its 2am and shes "talking" to me having a conversation) and sharing it with her job to let them know that she needs help. I refuse to be a victim anymore. I am not going to hide. And I am not going to let this woman take the steering wheel. I don't like being a victim and damn sure don't like letting someone else have this control. If anything, it is time we take control of these unfortunate situations.
When I told my friends what I was doing, they called me vindictive. Again, the cases and understanding of the stalked is low. People really do not get how damaging this is to your mental and safety. So much is taken from you. This is something anyone can do regardless of their physical stature, and in my case location. The location factor has given her more power than anything else. I cant physically stop her, and legally we have no jurisdiction. So it is in my hands to figure out what to do and own it. But in all, I would like to thank you for this. I have been searching for more outlets and men voicing their stories.
I am glad to read your article. I have lived life with a stalker for the past 8 years. It has affected me mentally, as I'm always checking my surroundings and looking for someone to be following me. Unfortunately my daughter is a victim too. I was just like you and never spoke out about it for years well finally he was arrested at my job. Friends and family blamed me. He kept running to them playing the victim. three years later- he's still stalking me. I now carry a gun and will hate to have to shoot him but I plan to pop his legs, If
need be. We have a 7 yr. old daughter, she's not aware of his problem. He uses her to his stalking me benefit. My oldest daughter is a victim. He has robbed us of living normally and I also have MS so stress from him has caused many relapses. I will have nightmares if I must shoot him but he don't care about police or going to jail, that's been proven many times. It's very sad for me that my girls are exposed to this lifestyle but hopefully they'll understand later and you bet they will be cautious. Thank you for taking time to reach out cause I've felt ALONE for many years.
Matt- Thank you for your posts. I can relate so much with all that you expressed. For 6 years, my husband's ex-wife has terrorized him, their children and me in her pursuit of destroying anything that is good. We have been told to ignore her, to create our own lives in spite of her weekly intrusions (via harassing phone calls and emails). We have grown accustomed to "the look" from parents, teachers, coaches, neighbors, etc., who she has contacted to defame our characters. Some other pathological behaviors she has exhibited: (1) Bipolar calling: Calling my husband 10 times in a row, then sending emails threatening to call the police or file a false police report; (2) Having friends pose as concerned people who contact my family, teachers, administrators, coaches, etc., stating that I am a child abuser; (3) Leaving sexually exploit materials at my doorstep in the middle of the day; (4) Refusing to give my husband any latitude with regard to visitation, and enticing the kids to do social activities during his time with her; (5) Driving by our house, and having friends come by sporting events to check up on us…I have grown tired of the her chaos. We cannot even go on vacation with our four kids without her interference. What makes it worse is that my husband's ex and my ex commiserate together to make our 4 children's lives, and ours miserable. I understand that I do not have control over these people, and they can do whatever they want, as long as it's not illegal. However, like you, it comes a time to talk about it. We need emotional support from others, but I recognize that if someone never went through it, they cannot relate. Some people, like the ones in your group, will fault you for other people's behavior, and your courage to go public with your experiences. If you have any advice on our situation, I would greatly appreciate it. "No Contact" isn't available for either one of us, since we are required by court orders to communicate with the other parent on certain notifications. Thank you for talking about your experiences- it helps me and a whole lot of people!
My ex from years ago began a campaign of stalking against me for six months. He used to walk by workplace and spit on the window and he'd pee in my petrol tank.. what he did to my pets I still cant talk about. I found out recently that this disgusting man, Laurence Coghlan, is still at it: tormenting other women. There are now 3 that we know about. Be warned. He is very dangerous. He is from Wyong, Australia and he will typically become violent – then relentless stalk you once you leave him.
Wow. Just came across this. Do I have a stalker story. It's been going on for many years, and the person who's been doing it is (drum roll) my own (extremely jealous) sister. Enabled and made excuses for over and over again by, unbelievably, OUR MOTHER – who turned out to be the psycho of psychos. However rather than go into detail let's just say I totally sympathize and empathize with those brave enough to write their stories here, as this stuff is REAL and there are sick people in this world.


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A Guide for Choosing the Best Locksmith Company in Dallas and Fort Worth, Texas
For the past years, crime levels have been increasing, and unless you are not aware, it will be necessary to invest in the best locks for your properties and also for your car. What this means is that you have to engage the best locksmith services around for installations of such locks to protect your properties. Also, locksmith becomes a very important person to hire. When you have misplaced your keys whether for your car or house. When it comes to engaging the best locksmith services around, you need to be fully informed so that you can make the appropriate decision. Here are some tips to help you choose the best locksmith service in Dallas and Fort Worth Texas.
It is advisable that you work with a local company anytime you are looking for locksmith services. One of the reasons why it is essential to work with a person that is near you is because you might need emergency services and a person that is for of can be inconvenienced to come. It is also very important that you work with a local company because if the company's from another state, there are changes that might have dropping when it comes to the license and also the insurance which is a risky venture for you.
It is also important to consider working with a certified locksmith. This is because only professionals are certified to offer locksmith services meaning that you will be working with a professional. It also means that they have received the appropriate training to handle any type of issue you might have with your locks or keys and that is very important also. It is also necessary to consider how long the company has been in the market offering the specific services that you may want to engage them for. If you want to receive quality services from the locksmith company, then you need to consider how experienced they are because it will affect the quality.
Also, check for the current insurance status of the locksmith company before hiring them. Even professionals with many years of experience can make mistakes because it is human and the company without the insurance policy can cost you a lot because you have to be liable but if the of the insurance policy, will be sorted out. As you consider the insurance policy, it is also important to consider engaging a company with the appropriate equipment that will help them offer you the services.
Where To Start with Services and More


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Eventfinda tickets no longer on sale
What do Crystals and a Café have in common? Great people, energising energy, and a hot cuppa.
The Crystal Point brings you "Crystal Café". You will find local Readers and Healers at the Western Community Centre, on the 2nd Friday of each month from 6.30pm til 8.30pm. February through to December.
Door sales available. Cash or Eftpos. Tickets $20.00 this entitles you to a taster reading and healing. (Not suitable for young children.)
Your ticket includes a light supper. Readings and Healings are approximately 10 minutes long and this allows you to get a taste of what alternative services are on offer in the Waikato.
Readings bring guidance and answers but overall you make the decisions to what path you will follow. Healings aid the body to clear blockages in your energy field. Remember if you are worried about your health, always seek medical advice from your Doctor.
Readers may include Trevor Nelley, Janet Thomson, Lesley Ormsby, Clive Mortimer, Heather Hawkins, Lyn-Marie, Mary Ellen and Pip Oxlade.
Healers may include Dawn Foster, Rachael Owen, Karen Hennessy, Magic Hands Murray, Faye Taylor and Michelle Nelley and more.
For further information email email@example.com or message us through Facebook www.facebook.com/thecrystalpointnz or phone 847 6780
We have a couple of stalls: Karen often brings along her Lotus Essential Cremes, which she has been making for over 15 years. Made with 100% essential oils and mixed in an organic crème base. Trevor and Michelle from The Crystal Point have crystal lamps, oracle cards and books on crystals for sale.
Crystal Cafe - The place to connect with like-minded people. Find some guidance, receive answers from Spirit or relief from pain and discomfort.
Enjoy a cuppa and evening out. Your local Spiritual Hub. Held once a month at the Western Community Centre in Nawton.
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Poling his boat on "Lac Rose" (Pink Lake), this man is part of the small salt-collecting industry located here northeast of Dakar. Salt collectors protect their skin with shea butter and wear stockings. Salt content in the lake is close to 40%.
© Lance Dietrich 1985-2016. Site design © 2010-2020 Neon Sky Creative Media


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Target got a lot of my money during December and even in early January for some after Christmas deals. I did a lot of Christmas Shopping there for my husband, my daughter and myself (of course). Some of the pieces in this outfit are brand-new. Almost everything I am wearing is from Target: Cardigan, Graphic T-Shirt, Jeans, Booties, Beanie and Pom-Pom Bag Charm. So this outfit is all about Target and Coffee just like my new tee says "But First Coffee", even carrying one of those festive red cups from Starbucks. Funny enough my Starbucks Peppermint Mocha was also purchased at the Starbucks that is located inside my local Target. Tea has always been my favorite hot drink of choice, except the last three years. Since I have become a mom I need at least a cup of coffee or two to go through the day, so this tee was perfect for me. I am even drinking a cup of coffee as I type this. And how festive is all the red and the plaid in this outfit (photos taken a month ago in December). It is a great combination of Reds (Puffer Coat, Beanie, Blanket Scarf, Cardigan) and Blues (Jeans, Necklace, Earrings, Pom Charm, Blanket Scarf, Cardigan) with touches of Gray (T-Shirt, Bag, Cardigan) and even a little bit of Pattern-Mixing with my leopard Booties. Since this week I am focusing on Winter Accessories and Outwear, I figured I would show you this Cute+Bright Bundled Up Look which I wore for a day of errands and shopping. And it was misty and frozen out so I needed the warm layering. Stay tuned for more Outerwear and Warm Accessories, this week. =)
Note: Neither Target or Starbucks sponsored this post. I wish. =D
Navy+Red Plaid Cardigan: Merona via Target (New) (similar, Splurge, love this), (similar, Steal).
Heather Gray "But First Coffee" Graphic Tee: Target (New) (identical), (similar, Splurge), (similar, Steal).
Deep Red, Light Puffer Coat: The Limited (similar, Splurge), (similar w/ hoodie, Steal, love this).
Bright Red Cable-Knit Wool-Blend Beanie: Target (similar, Splurge), (similar w/ pom, Steal, love this).
Medium-Wash "Modern Skinny" Skinny Blue Jeans: Denizen by Levi's (Target) (almost identical, Steal), (similar, Splurge, love these).
Cobalt Blue Fireball Sparkly little Drop Earrings: A Street Vendor in Albania (similar statement earrings, Splurge), (similar, set of 3, Steal).
Dainty Silver Chain Necklace w/ Royal Blue Pave Pendant: A Local Boutique in Albania (similar, Splurge), (similar, Steal, love this).
Red Starbucks Cup: Starbucks.
Large Silver Faux Leather Tote: H&M (similar, Splurge), (similar, Steal, love this).
Navy Fur Pom Charm: Target (New) (similar, Splurge), (similar, Steal).
Leopard Booties w/ Chunky Heels: Sam Edelman via Target (New) (similar, Splurge, love these), (similar, Steal).
P.S. Linking up with Alice, Allison, Amanda, Brooke with Erica, Carrie with Jill, Claire, Denise, Elizabeth, Grace, Jalynn, Katherine,
Also Linking up with Michelle and Ana Luiza for "Start the Week of Stylish" which this week is themed Snow Day.
And tomorrow I am linking up with Elle and Jacqueline for their "Spotlight Weekly" linkup which is themed Coats/Vests.


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You ever notice how kids keep graduating! This quilt was made for Clint Hodges when he graduated from college. I made a quilt for his younger sister and brother when they graduated from high school, so I couldn't forget Clint!
where treasures of past and present connect
Get your guild info here
Another quilting blog
Tales of a Seasoned Quilt Maker
Family and Quilting Forever!
Learn about the business of being a professional machine quilter


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CultureStrike and Justseeds Artists' Cooperative present:
Art print portfolio highlights the resistance and resilience of communities under threat by climate change.
Climate change continues to have a disproportionate impact on the most vulnerable communities around the globe, including migrants and communities of color -- people who are typically marginalized in our society. CultureStrike, in collaboration with Justseeds Artists' Cooperative, has forged partnerships between artists and frontline environmental justice organizations to create a provocative, limited-edition art print portfolio, called "We Are The Storm," that highlights the urgency of climate change on these communities.
The portfolio draws inspiration from the powerful work of grassroots groups that are championing creative and community-based solutions to combat climate change, and resisting industrial fossil fuel projects, such as the Tar Sands projects, the Keystone pipeline, fracking operations, destructive mining practices, and the transporting and burning of toxic fuels. The featured artworks bring voices from frontline communities that are being the most impacted by climate change and destructive environmental practices, to the forefront of the climate change discussion.
"I see art as a way to bring things to life. If people see themselves in the image, they can become more aware, or question things more, as the beginning of taking action," said Gilda Posada, CultureStrike "We Are The Storm" artist. "It's made me much more aware of both how much the presence of people of color are important to the [environmental] movement, but also how much more we need to be present and visible."
At the heart of this important project is the belief that art has the power to move the climate conversation in a new direction. It's primary goal is to challenge the status quo of the environmental movement by lifting up the voices of underrepresented communities and engaging artists who might not otherwise have seen themselves as agents of change.
Artists and Collaborating Organizations
Agana/Southwest Worker's Union (SWU)
Micah Bazant/Indigenous Environmental Network (IEN)
Kevin Caplicki/Marcellus Shale Earth First!
Thea Gahr/Everglades Earth First! (EEF!)
Thomas Greyeyes/The San Carlos Apache
Nicolas Lampert/The Michigan Coalition Against Tar Sands (MICATS)
Fernando Marti/No More Deaths
Colin Matthes/Missourians Organizing for Reform and Empowerment (MORE)
Mazatl/Reclaim Turtle Island (RTI)
Nicolas Medina/People Organizing to Demand Environmental Justice
Roger Peet/Portland and Wild Idaho Rising Tide
Gilda Posada/California Environmental Justice Alliance (CEJA)
Jesse Purcell/Unistoten Camp (C'ihlts'ehkyu/Big Frog Clan)
Pete Railand/Occupy Sandy
Favianna Rodriguez/Movement Generation (MG)
Julio Salgado/Texas Environmental Justice Advisory Services (TEJAS)
Meredith Stern/Bridge the Gulf
David Tim/ClimateTruth.org
Rommy Torrico/Kentuckians for the Commonwealth (KFTC)
Mary Tremonte, -Tar Sands Blockade
Erin Yoshi/Asian Pacific Environmental Network (APEN)
Bec Young/Radical Action for Mountain People's Survival (RAMPS)
11/30/15 - 12/11/15 - Paris, France
To view all pieces, check out our:
Gallery Exhibits:
Impact Hub/Omi Gallery Exhibition
Monday, November 16, 2015 - January 15, 2016
2323 Broadway, Oakland, CA 94612
Media Contact: Layel Camargo
Project Team and Funding
The Climate Change Portfolio was organized and produced by Roger Peet, Favianna Rodriguez, and Gabriel Harrison. It was printed by Jesse Purcell at Repetitive Press in Toronto, Canada, and at Inkworks in Oakland, CA. Portfolio cover by Roger Peet.
The Climate Change portfolio was made possible in part by funding from Compton Foundation and the Nathan Cummings Foundation.
About CultureStrike
CultureStrike is a migrant-led organization that works with a national network of artists to change public sentiment around migration. We believe that art is critical to changing national consciousness around issues such as migrant rights, climate justice, and racial justice. Since our founding in 2011, we have connected a national network of 200+ socially engaged artists, provided space and funding for professional and creative development, developed shared strategy with movement groups, and spearheaded dozens of events and campaigns that have resonated in local venues, social media, and the halls of power. As we grow we continue to develop new projects that amplify our strategy and inspire new artists and audiences with visions of social justice. www.culturestrike.org
About Justseeds Artists' Cooperative
Justseeds Artists' Cooperative is a decentralized network of 30 artists committed to making print and design work that reflects a radical social, environmental, and political stance. With members working from the U.S., Canada, and Mexico, Justseeds operates both as a unified collaboration of similarly minded printmakers and as a loose collection of creative individuals with unique viewpoints and working methods. We believe in the transformative power of personal expression in concert with collective action. To this end, we produce collective portfolios, contribute graphics to grassroots struggles for justice, work collaboratively both in- and outside the co-op, build large sculptural installations in galleries, and wheatpaste on the streets – all while offering each other daily support as allies and friends. www.justseeds.org.


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Leaked from ReSwitched Discord Server, but it does work on your older (cart1)-type games on your exploitable Switch!
The piracy scene is on fire again (with a ton of usual scene drama on top to fuel the flames), after someone 'leaked' an 'Cartridge Dumper', but as @AnalogMan points out below, it does have some limits, like no support for newer (cart2)-type games, but the version attached is now updated with features to dump to FAT32 and to dump only your 'private certs', so check it out:
As NOTED ABOVE, these dumps you make from your original game cartridges are complete including your 'private certs' which is great if you want LESS RISK by going online with your piracy backups, instead of using a NULLed warez release from BigBlueBox, but if you want to be nice and share your 'backup' online with (cough) friends, become a true pirate, with wooden leg and eye patch, you need to use a program like our own MaxConsole XCI Exploder which has options to extract/inject certs., trim/split XCIs.
NEWS SOURCE: XCI Dumper (via) GBATemp
(Our thanks to HackInformer for their nice screenshot featured above which we stole from them!)
RELEASE: WAIN XCI Switch Cartridge Dumper v0.0.3
Discussion in 'Underground Nintendo Scene' started by ub3r1337, Jun 8, 2018.
Discussion in 'Underground Nintendo Scene' started by ub3r1337, Jun 8, 2018.


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Astros scratch Lance McCullers Jr. from Wednesday start
Astros right-hander Lance McCullers Jr. has been scratched from his scheduled start Wednesday night against the Angels after complaining of arm fatigue, the Houston Chronicle reported.
The No. 3 starter in Houston's rotation, McCullers threw 76 pitches over 5 2/3 innings last Wednesday, his first start since July 30 because of what had been described as "back discomfort."
McCullers, 23, described the arm fatigue as "very much reminiscent of like something you would deal with during spring (training)" and blamed it on not pitching regularly since July.
"He's not concerned, which makes me not concerned," manager A.J. Hinch said. "Obviously, it doesn't feel good to have to scratch him, but we're going to continue to be conservative with him especially. He's had an up-and-down year when dealing with stuff. So, when he reported that he had a little bit of symptoms during playing catch (Tuesday) we were going to scratch him."
Mike Fiers, who lost his spot in the rotation early last week, will start in McCullers' place as the Astros (87-57) find themselves 1 1/2 games back of the streaking Indians (82-62) entering Wednesday's play in the race for the best record in the American League and home-field advantage throughout the AL playoffs.


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Louis Cruises unveiled new cruise programs for the 2014 season. Having launched a new cruise product in 2013 reflective of its Hellenic roots, the company is nearly doubling the number of ports it calls at for 2014 with the introduction of nine new destinations including: Samos, Milos, Syros, Kos, Ios, Symi, Chios, Cesme and Bodrum. Louis Cruises' 2014 itineraries will sail to Mykonos, Patmos, Rhodes, Heraklion (Crete) , Santorini, Istanbul, and Kusadasi, and also to the lesser-known ports.
These 2014 Mediterranean cruise programs will be performed onboard Louis Rhea and Louis Olympia. Louis Rhea will be opening the 2014 season on March 14, 2014 with the classic three- and four-day cruises from Piraeus up until April 18, 2014 when the Louis Olympia will set sail. Beginning April 18, the Louis Rhea will be operating a seven-day cruise titled "Pilgrimage Voyage," an itinerary that will be repeated on Oct. 31, 2014. On April 25, 2014, another sailing will be performed by the Louis Rhea titled "3 Continents." Throughout May, June, September and October, the Louis Rhea will be performing the seven-day "Iconic Aegean" itinerary from the port of Lavrion, Athens which is as follows:
- Seven-day Iconic Aegean: from May 2, 2014 until June 27, 2014 and from Sept. 5, 2014 until Oct. 24, 2014 (all dates included) calling at Istanbul, Kusadasi, Santorini, Aghios Nikolaos/Crete, Rhodes, Symi, Chios, Mykonos and Lavrion
Every Friday during July and August, Louis Cruises introduces brand new itineraries titled Idyllic Aegean. More specifically, the Louis Rhea will offer the following itineraries:
- Three-day cruise: from July 4, 2014 until Aug. 29, 2014 (both dates included) calling at Mykonos, Kusadasi, Samos, Milos and Lavrion
- Four-day cruise: from July 7, 2014 until Sept. 1, 2014 (both dates included) calling at Syros, Cesme, Bodrum, Kos, Ios, Santorini and Piraeus
These two outstanding itineraries can be combined into a unique seven-day cruise for those who would like to visit all the aforementioned destinations, since no destination is repeated. Specifically, the seven-day itinerary is as follows:
- Seven-day cruise: from July 4, 2014 until Aug. 29, 2014, calling at Mykonos, Kusadasi, Samos, Milos, Lavrion, Syros, Cesme, Bodrum, Kos, Ios, Santorini and Piraeus
Named after the famous ancient sanctuary and birthplace of the Olympic Games, as well as after Queen Olympia, mother of Alexander the Great, the Louis Olympia will take over sailings from the Louis Rhea and operate the three- and four-day "Iconic Aegean" itineraries from April 18 and 21 respectively. The "Iconic Aegean" itineraries are as follows:
- Three-day Iconic Aegean: from March 14, 2014 until Oct. 24, 2014 (both dates included) calling at Mykonos, Kusadasi, Patmos, Heraklion/Crete, Santorini and Piraeus
- Four-day Iconic Aegean: from March 17, 2014 until Oct. 27, 2014 (both dates included) calling at Mykonos, Kusadasi, Patmos, Heraklion/Crete, Santorini and Piraeus
For more information, visit www.louiscruises.com.


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The Arizona National Working Ranch Horse Competition, chaired by Kyle Best, provides a contest for horses from Arizona's working cattle ranches. As they take years to train, ranchers consider their horse a trusted partner in daily duties.
Show Specifics
Each horse and rider will have six minutes to execute a series of events commonly required in everyday ranch work, showcasing abilities to maneuver and work cattle.
Auction and Luncheon
Consignors and buyers for the Ranch Horse Auction, held in conjunction with the Arizona Ranch Replacement Heifer Sale, are treated to a barbecue lunch at noon, with the sale following at 1:30 p.m.
Fast Facts
- Limited to 15 invitation-only working ranch horse entries
- Open to Arizona ranch horses from Arizona-owned ranches
- Titles to Earn
- Champion Ranch Horse
- Reserve Champion Ranch Horse
- Jackpot Payout & Auction
- 100% of collected entry fees added to payout jackpot
- Up to three competing horses will be selected by the committee and offered for sale during the auction


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Paradise Power Washing specializes in commercial fleet washing services. Let us keep your company's image sharp by maintaining the cleanliness of your fleet! We provide the latest pressure washing technology and the most effective cleaning solutions for dirt and grime removal, bug and tar pre-treatment and removal, engine degreasing, hydraulic fluid cleaning, spray waxing and aluminum brightening service for trucks. We are able to service any type of vehicle including semi trucks and trailers, buses, box trucks, vans and cars.
We will meet your wash scheduling needs – night and weekend service times available at no additional cost!
"Excellent customer service, scheduling and quality work are all reasons I trust Paradise Power Wash to meet our fleet needs. They do excellent work!" …………Nolan Dealy, Cintas
Estimates are always FREE, service is always superb!


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Student Services
10 Academic Resolutions for the New School Year
As the clock strikes midnight on New Year's Eve, people across the globe make promises to themselves—promises to better themselves physically and mentally, to bring order to their lives, and to treat those around them with more courtesy and respect. Beginning a new school year should not be any different; Instead, learn more, become better … Continued
Scholarship Opportunity for International Students
The United States (US) typically attracts a great number of international students because of the quality of higher education and opportunities that follow after achieving a college degree. It's our goal to provide international students with the tools and opportunities needed to complete their college education. Following Through with Our Goal As an international … Continued
New FNU Library Facility Is More Than Just Space for Books
New FNU Library Facility Is More Than Just Space for Books After visiting the new FNU Library space in the new building, I had time to reflect on the months of thoughtful planning and preparations for the new library environment that our students, faculty, and staff will occupy and engage in benefits of the new … Continued
Communication in Today's Society
When it comes to creating a strong rapport with any member of society, it is very important to create a strong form of communication. Nowadays, there are many advanced and diverse mediums that individuals use to create some form of communication with his/her friends, family members or significant others. Society as a whole has become … Continued
Help Build a New Playground in Hialeah!
Community Activism is at the core of Florida National University's (FNU) foundation. Being a Conquistador is more than just excelling academically and athletically, but understanding our duty to give back. While FNU has a long history of philanthropic efforts, we know that there will always be more work to be done to enhance our community. … Continued
FNU SGA President uses Philanthropic Passion to Organize Charitable 5K
Philanthropy is one of the principles which Florida National University (FNU) is built upon. Our founder, Dr. Jose Regueiro, was passionate about giving back to those less fortunate and enriching the community through charity. We carry that legacy with us every day, through all our endeavors. The most recent display is the upcoming 5K Running … Continued
Your Technical School Closed Down? Here's What You Should Do
It can be a shock to learn that your school is closing down. Panic can quickly arise with a series of questions like: What happens to my credits? Will another school accept them? I planned to graduate this year. What do I do now? What school should I transfer to? What about my financial aid? … Continued
Getting a Dental Assistant Certificate in Miami
While teeth are considered the hardest part on the human body, they are not bones, contrary to what some people might think. Just like the hands, feet, and other complicated areas of the human body, teeth are unique and complex enough to have a separate field of its own. Teeth are made up of a … Continued
HEY FNU! IT'S IMPORTANT TO WRITE IT RIGHT! If you need help with grammar, spelling, vocabulary or need assistance on a paper or essay, GO TO THE WRITING LAB! That's what they're there for. Better your writing with FNU! Here are the updated hours for Summer B: MONDAY: 1:00 PM- 4:00 PM TUESDAY: 9:00 AM-1:00 … Continued
FNU South Campus Celebrates National Coming Out Day
On Thursday, October 8, 2015 Florida National University (FNU) South Campus celebrated National Coming Out Day. Observed on October 11th, National Coming Out Day is an effort to encourage people to "come out" (engage in a process of openly identifying oneself as LBGT or a supporter of the LGBT community). To help bring awareness, FNU … Continued


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A Brief History of Our Church
After the Civil War, as people moved from rural areas to seek work in the towns, Gastonia began to grow and prosper. The need for a place of worship in the town was recognized by Pisgah ARP Church.
On October 29, 1887, First ARP Gastonia was organized with forty-seven charter members. Through the blessings of God on the faithful preaching of her ministers and the commitment of her members, First ARP soon outgrew the first small stucco meeting place at the corner of York and Franklin and built a larger facility on the same site in which the first service was held on February 24, 1918. After World War II, the continued growth of the congregation made a new facility necessary and the first of the present buildings was dedicated at our current location on November 14, 1948.
Fourteen pastors have faithfully served Christ at First ARP during her one hundred twenty seven year history. Eight men from this congregation have entered the Gospel ministry and a number of other sons and daughters have gone into full-time Christian service.
While the present vitality of First ARP owes a tremendous debt to those who have gone before, the congregation's focus is not upon the past but upon the Christ our forebearers served and the future He offers to us today.


text: The documentary Zach's Ceremony drew a capacity crowd for a second time at the Byron Community Centre at BBFF's final weekend, before being presented with the Byron Bay Film Festival's Best Film Award. Executive produced by Northern Rivers local Alec Doomadgee, the film was also winner of the Festival's Best Documentary Award. Zach's Ceremony, which


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It's interesting trying to scramble for a special tooth fairy experience when you are home alone.. Especially because the tooth fairy asked me to help her out. So while Cy and Arlo were in school (and I was home alone) I put glitter glue on dollars (he got $3), wrote a teeny tiny letter that said "to say hi to her friend the dentist and to be sure to brush twice a day" and I bought him a new toothbrush/toothpaste. He was blown away. It was so funny because he was tossing and turning until after 10pm (which meant I had to stay awake longer than him!) and then up at 6am. Whoever started the gift under the pillow thing is a dum-dum. It should be in the bathroom or something so a) we don't have to wait until they're fully asleep b) the kids aren't freaking out that someone is entering their room that night and c) you don't have to pry a tooth out of a clenched hand, in the dark, praying not to wake them. My heart was going a million miles an hour! Hopefully the tooth fairy won't be so busy next time and she can do it herself!
Anyways, he has had a loose tooth for a while. That day he snagged it on his t-shirt when he was getting dressed in the morning. It bled a little and got so loose you could make it perpendicular to his gum. Gross! So after school I told him I was going to "clean it up" with a paper towel. I stuck my hand in there and gently tugged it with the towel and it popped out. I showed it to him and he asked if it was rice! He didn't feel a thing and I had the pleasure of "yanking it out."
And here are some betty homemaker tips:
First, I found the cutest, best teacher gifts this year. I have ordered 5 sets of stationary so far from this site for all of our beloved teachers.
Such a cute little shop!
and secondly, I finally made a somewhat healthy meal that our kids ate without complaint.
My kids love shrimp, bacon and corn but hate soup... so this was a risky venture but they both gobbled it up! It was delicious!
Bacon Corn Shrimp Chowder:
Arlo has been digging roller skates lately. And harmonicas. And safety glasses. All.at.once.
Tomorrow is "do nice things for other people" day so we will probably have lots to write about! We are bringing toys to the hospital, dog treats to the humane society, homemade cookies to the local drug and alcohol rehabilitation spot and, best of all, the boys have to do chores to make money and then we are giving it away! I decided to do this after the Cy lost his bouncy ball and didn't want to spend any of the EIGHTY dollars in his piggy bank to buy a new one. He wanted me to use my money. Time to start earning and sharing!


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This is a photograph of writer Matt Fogarty with Santa Clause. Yes, Santa is real and Matt knows him! It's probably because Matt is from Detroit, which is pretty close to the North Pole. Now he's an MFA candidate at the University of South Carolina, which is pretty far from the North Pole. He's the Founding Editor of Cartagena and he's reading TONIGHT at Vouched + Midwestern Gothic Present! He let me awfully interview him.
So Matt, the biography you sent me for the reading makes you sound like a pretty busy guy. Would you say you have strong time-management skills?
If by "time-management" you mean "holy crap I got sucked into a Burn Notice loop on Netflix and forgot I had to do that thing let me do it as quickly as I can before that other thing happens and dammit the dog needs to go out again," then yes. But seriously, I'm naturally lazy, so every day is a challenge. And I don't sleep nearly as much as I seem to want to.
That sounds stressful. Are you stressed?
Ha, right now, yes? I find myself making a lot of "to do" lists — it's strangely soothing, even though there's no way I'll ever be able to get to everything on the list. It's a way to trap all the extraneous things that aren't writing into a sort of brain-box so that I can (hopefully) free up space to do what I love. I'm lucky to have some great friends, a great girlfriend, and a dog that loves/tolerates me. And when all else fails, there's whiskey and sports.
To-do lists help for sure! Why is crossing things out so therapeutic? I also recommend popping bubble wrap, if you haven't tried it.
BUBBLE WRAP YES. Popping bubble wrap is like tickling angels. My parents just moved out of their home of 35+ years and sent me boxes full of mementos wrapped in bubble wrap. It was glorious. And I think there could be whole works of scholarship on the phenomenology of crossing out. Actually, now I want to write a story called "The Phenomenology of Crossing Out."
You certainly should write that. Now be honest – what were you more excited about… the bubble wrap or the mementos?
Honestly, the bubble wrap. Maybe. I don't know. I suppose there was the little blue robe I used to wear when I was four and would pretend to be the Cookie Monster at family get-togethers.
By "pretend to be the Cookie Monster" I'm assuming you mean "eat every cookie in sight." Is that your mantra at family get-togethers? Be honest.
See, the thing most people overlook about the Cookie Monster is that he's so intense in trying to eat the cookie, most of it falls to the ground. The whole arc of the character is a life lesson, a cautionary tale of humility and preservation and environmental awareness and good health. But yes: me like cookies.
Are you saying you're also known for being a messy eater? Are you hungry a lot then, if the food never makes it to your mouth? That may be one of the reasons you're so stressed.
Like the Cookie Monster, I believe the five second rule is bad science — once it's down, it's down.
That's pretty cut-throat. Let's go back to the list thing. What is the weirdest list you've ever made?
In my former life, I was an international trade lawyer. We had all sorts of interesting clients doing stuff all over the world. I can remember having to make a few weird lists then. Now, my weirdest lists tend to be grocery related. I'm horrible at shopping — usually put it off until odd hours of the night. So I'll frequently find myself in line at a Bi-Lo at 1 AM in shorts and flip-flops buying strange combinations of things like apples, dog toys, and Raid.
I didn't even know Bi-Lo's still existed. Say, what are you most excited about for tonight's reading?
I've been reading and loving the work of the other writers for a long time and follow them on Twitter and Facebook. So it'll be great to meet everybody in person and hear some great stuff. Basically, readings are awesome and these readers are awesome and it'll be an awesome time.


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Marketplace Evolution
This thread on Twitter about the evolution of marketplaces is well worth a read to anyone working in that space. Most of the low barrier, high-frequency markets have been built and marketplaces are now moving into managed services which are much more difficult.
Managed marketplaces are an important evolution in marketplaces. The low-hanging opportunities in marketplaces have been picked, and the next wave of startups are innovating on the underlying marketplace model to tackle more complex goods/services that have remained offline.
— Li Jin (@ljin18) March 15, 2019
There are still many areas where the purchase decision and actual completion of the purchase require extra work in the background.
The added complication here is that a lot of high-value marketplaces are in industries where the transactions are low frequency. As a result, customer knowledge is low and the trust barrier to acquiring their business is high. Examples include home buying, car purchases, and in my experience energy choice.
Consequently, the largest return on $ spent in these industries is on providing the transaction layer while running lead gen on the services because the customer isn't buying frequently enough (18+ months) to be brand loyal.
In these markets, until consumer confidence in online transaction grows or a dominant brand captures most of the share the costs to retain are too high to also offer services.
So, instead marketplaces focus on purchase & lead gen services b/c it's the most immediate payback. If not VC backed, this creates great mailbox money for a founder.
All that to say the customer almost always has to be purchased in these markets and the services don't buy a high frequency of repeat business. Even though their complexity/infrequency could use a high level of end to end service.


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Freelance web and graphic designer operating from Brackenfell, Durbanville and the general Cape Town area, South Africa.
Hi, I am Johan Engelbrecht
I am a freelance web and graphic designer and also the owner of ARTribe Design & Advertising, situated in Brackenfell – Cape Town. I operate from Brackenfell, Bellville and Durbanville, but I will meet you anywhere for coffee… and if it is too far, email will do just fine.
I am a brand communication consultant and will help you to improve the perception that others have of your business. I have formal training in web design, graphic, editorial design and advertising with more than 10 years of experience. The purpose of this blog is just to showcase some of the projects I have been working on. Browse them for the fun, or contact me if you want to discuss business. My work entails a variety of disciplines and I have had the privilege of working with a wide clientele from small business owners to retailers in my career.
When it comes to work, I'm curious and imaginative, but also analytical and precise in my thinking. Most of all though, I take your design project and deadlines seriously! I have worked with and managed various in-house team members in the past and deal with independent contractors also on a daily basis.
Whether you need a simple logo design, web design or a huge amount of marketing material…let me help you. As mentioned above, I am situated in the Cape Town area, but will take on work from anywhere. I also work on retainer basis and can become part of your inhouse team.
Shout if I can help.