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Fast, Painless Enhancement with Veneers
This smile is here to stay! Porcelain veneers are durable and resist staining.
Smile Transformation with Crowns & Veneers
This smile has been made beautiful again with crowns on some teeth and veneers on others.
Balancing the Proportions of Your Smile with Crowns
New, confident smiles created with tooth-coloured crowns to lengthen the appearance of the teeth before applying veneers

subset: commoncrawl


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A BUDDING product designer from Bromsgrove has created a chair from barbers' off-cuts.
Alice Evans came up with the idea of the Hair Chair while meditating on Buddhist teachings that happiness does not come from material possessions and there should be compassion for all living things.
After completing her dissertation on similar themes in February, she then set about designing and creating the chair, made up of 30 4in (10cm) square patches of human hair stitched together with plant twine.
The hair, collected from local barbers and cleaned with soap and water, forms a bucket seat, supported by leather straps and hangs from a metal frame.
The 23-year-old, who is about to end her final year studying product design at Birmingham City University, said people's reactions had ranged from "wow" to "disgust".
She said: "I thought, if it is made from us, what relationship does that create?
"Why do people say 'Ugh, that's disgusting' when it is just part of every single human being?
"It's just hair and when it is on our head we're so attached to it, and then, when it's chopped off, it's disgusting."
She added that reactions have been "a lot more positive" than she expected.
"There's not that many people who have sat in it - they've touched it and some people run away from it still - but it's fun," she said.
"I want to start that conversation as to what things should we be using."
Explaining why she had chosen to design a chair - having never made one before - Miss Evans said it had evolved from being a symbol of power, such as a monarch's throne, to an everyday item, used across the world.
As an item which is used by everyone, she felt it was the perfect way to get people thinking about what is waste and what can be re-used, at a time when global awareness about climate change and sustainability is growing.
She said: "It tells a story about how we live our life, and there's a lot more depth to products, in my opinion.
"That's why I decided to make a chair from human hair, to try and encourage a closer relationship to the material world, so we waste less and value what is in our world."
Miss Evans said the chair also contained hair from six of her friends, including one man whose back hair was included "because he wanted to be part of it".
She said the only downside is that it was "a bit itchy", but she does not mind.
The chair took about two months to make, collecting bags of hair from barbers, twice a week, and with each patch taking half an hour to create.
She has no idea how much hair went into it, because of the different lengths needed.
"The best bits would be a couple of inches long, the longer bits I'd have to chop down," she said.
"There was quite a lot of short, stubbly bits that I had to sieve through.
"So apologies to my housemates for making the bathroom very hairy for the past two months."
The finished chair, which Miss Evans has calculated had a cost price of £1,864, is due to be exhibited alongside other graduate design products.
Longer term, she said: "I'm probably just going to take it home and put it with my shrine, in my room, until I know what to do with it."
The chair has also already been on display at the university's arts showcase, Inspired Festival.
Meanwhile, Miss Evans plans to go on to work within the sustainable design industry and continue experimenting.


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malignant pustule
Also found in: Dictionary, Thesaurus, Medical, Wikipedia.
Related to malignant pustule: anthrax
malignant pustule[mə′līg·nənt ′pəs·chül]
The commonest form of anthrax in humans, resulting from contamination of the skin; characterized by a necrotic pustule surrounded by an area of edema and vesicles containing yellow fluid. Also known as cutaneous anthrax.


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TD Celebrates National Volunteer Week
Each year in April, we dedicate one week to celebrating the incredible volunteer efforts of TD employees – but every single day we couldn't be more proud. From cleaning up public spaces to welcoming refugees to providing meals for the less fortunate, these volunteers truly show us that one hour of your time can mean a world of change for someone else. On behalf of everyone at TD: thank you.
Here are some of the ways our TD Volunteers are making a difference:
Christine shares simple yet sage advice: everyone has something to give.
"People say they don't have time to volunteer – but giving back to your community can take as little as 20 minutes. Everyone has something to give, and something to build within the community itself. This year I am volunteering through the United Way of Cambridge and North Dumfries supporting the Meals on Wheels Kitchen in Breslau. Meals on Wheels not only provides hot meals and nutrition, but volunteers just like me provide friendship and in some cases are the only personal interaction recipients of the program receive in days. "
– Christine E. Andrews, Customer Relations Coordinator, TD Canada Trust
What you get from volunteering is more than you give.
"TD is a company that encourages its employees to grow and explore the things that they love. I cannot stress how amazing the Volunteer Ambassador program at TD is. Volunteering has shaped me in ways I cannot even begin to describe. The situations and people I come across have all taught me lessons and universal skills that I will always carry with me. I volunteer to learn from others, to educate myself on all that is going on around me, and most importantly to connect with people. There is a world of knowledge and experience out there – every time I volunteer my time, I grow.
I will be visiting Mountain View Elementary on April 16th to help out, serve food, and most importantly, welcome refugees. I really hope that I make an impact on even one of the individuals, whether it's that they made a new friend or even just someone to talk to for the day. My main goal is to ensure that everyone feels safe, welcomed, and that they leave with a sense that their options and resources are not limited. "
– Geety Hafizi, Financial Service Representative, TD Canada Trust
To really strengthen a community, start by helping the people a part of it.
"My name is Joey Calandrino and I am a Customer Service Representative at TD Canada Trust. I began my journey with TD in October 2015, and I have the dual honour and pleasure of being a Volunteer Ambassador.
To me, volunteering is such an amazing and rewarding activity. It's an activity that builds and strengthens communities, is great for one's mind and body, and allows everyone to learn new skills while having fun and helping others.
My challenge to everyone is to volunteer for at least one event through TD Volunteer Network in 2016. I can promise that you will meet amazing individuals, you will learn new skills, and you'll have a fantastic time – all while benefiting and making a difference to your respective local communities. "
– Joey Calandrino, Customer Service Representative, TD Canada Trust


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Posts Tagged 'Oviedo'
His charismatic valleys and mountains, its distinctive green, its wonderful cuisine and even their "cows" make a single region of Asturias in Spain when it comes to accommodations, is the time of year that is. And if you are someone who has fallen in love with the people of Doctor Mateo, already have your next getaway destination: Asturias.
Following the directions of the brochure "Corners of Asturias" prepared by the Government of Asturias (what you can get at any tourism office Asturian) we divided the community 14 areas indicating the most characteristic of each, and we stay where we: Read the rest of this entry »
As dije in my previous post about Oviedo, A couple of weeks ago I received an invitation from a cottage in Asturias called Villa Las Mimosas, and as I was treated so well I think the least I can do is dedicate this post (Isabel thanks again for inviting us to sleep in your beautiful home)
The Villa Las Mimosas is a rural house 5 km de Oviedo, in Bueño. If you have seen the movie Ashes of Heaven will sound area, and surely way veais famous film center. Area, as imaginaréis, are typical Asturian: mountains, valleys and lots of green. Read the rest of this entry »
Two weekends ago I was in Oviedo, one of those cities you always want to come back, because you always have something to see or do. This was now the third time visiting the city, although it was the first that made it in Mardi Gras, and is held in Oviedo Carnival a week later than in the rest of Spain (and I assure you it worth). Also, this visit was special because I was invited to stay in a cottage called Villa Las Mimosas, the thought that I have to dedicate my next post.
I must confess that my trip this time was not very culturally, but rather "idle" (we, I went holiday), so instead of making a chronological article as I do, I'll tell sites I've visited on this trip and previous (and I can recommend) so that everyone can enjoy one Oviedo Tailor. Read the rest of this entry »


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Why You Need To Start Using CBD.
It has been hard to use marijuana and its products for several years as it has been termed illegal. Before the 1930's ban, cannabis oil was being used to treat very many diseases. According to recent researches that have been done, it has been proven that you can use marijuana for treating multiple complications. You will realize that there a lot of compounds which have medicinal value like the CBD. The compound has been proven to contain no toxic compounds that could negatively affect the human health. Unlike THC, CBD has no mind-altering effects to human beings. When you have the several diseases, you can use CBD as it will play a big role in ensuring that you get well.
First, it has been proven that it helps to reduce pain and inflammation. The CBD acts as a natural pain reliever among another list of benefits. It is usually to your relief when you use the cannabidiol as it will put away your pains in the most authentic way. It does not matter if it is a chronic inflammatory or whatever kind of pain as the CBD will be able to make you feel better. Where you realize that you have a friend who is suffering the same, you can advise them to get this cure for pain. It will reduce the pain to the percentage of up to 70%.
The other situation where it is advisable that you use the CBD is when you are suffering from anxiety. With the many researchers that have been carried out using animals the cannabidiol has the ability to reduce anxiety. It is therefore important for you as a person and you have any kind of anxiety that you look for the CBD as it will be of help.
The other benefit is the ability to fight cancer. It will help to cut down the multiplication of cancerous tissues and cells. What happens is that they are able to get rid of the cancer cells in your body and destroy them. You should use the CBD as much as it is advised by the seller so that you are able to kill the cells in a great way and also because it will not negatively affect your health.
The percentage of diabetic conditions in your body will come down to a significant level. Marijuana use has effect on the glucose and insulin levels in the human body.
The other reason that you need to look for cannabidiol is when you have seizure and other neurological disorders.


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Students make money with summer jobs
June 8, 2017
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As summer is approaching one of the activities students chose to do is to apply for a job.
"Having a summer job makes things so much better because you are not relying on your parents financially. Although sometimes it may be annoying that you're working on a Friday or Saturday, that bank is worth it," senior Margaret Costello said.
Costello is not the only person that shares an interest in working. Senior Mitchell Ives has been involved in four jobs while in school.
"Definitely do something that can be flexible with your schedule, as things such as concerts and other jobs can come up. Also make sure you reach outside your comfort zone, as you never know where opportunities can lead you," Ives said.
Many jobs have previously employed college students as well, therefore it is advised to look at a wide selection of jobs and apply to many of them.
"You can check many resources; the billboard by the career center, Craigslist, or any local community board should have opportunities waiting," Ives said.
School counselor Judi Gallinoto advises to visit the career center as well for postings.
"[Jessica] Schirano helped organize a Summer Work Seminar in May. She or [Kristi] Ohanesian could share that powerpoint/handouts with students," Gallinoto said.
The chance of getting the job is not completely over even after applying, according to school counselor Chris Loomis.
"After submitting an application online, it is always a good idea to follow-up in person with the company because it helps show initiative and one's level of interest in a particular job," Loomis said.
One location that looks for local high schoolers to work with them is Legowski and Company, located across from the Winding Trails entrance. This is an accounting firm that is in charge of a lot of Farmington residents tax returns.
"We look for students that are willing to work hard and that are open to learning new things. Often we like to select juniors with the hope that they will return again senior year and use their knowledge from previous years," secretary Martha Chamberlain said.
Places for possible employment in town:
Dunkin Donuts
Best Cleaners
People's Choice
Highland Park
Stop and Shop


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|Admitted into Arts and Science Co-Op and curious about what that entails? This handout can help breakdown some of the most important information and you can visit their website if you have more questions.
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Do you know how much your undergraduate studies will cost you? Are you aware of other expenditures you may incur during this time? Do you know the Registrar's academic and financial deadlines? Answers to these and other commonly asked student services questions :
[Presentation slides from the Office of the Registrar : Understanding the costs and finances of attending University - OSAP, Financial Aid, Budgeting and more]
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|Find the digital version of the resources you received at Get Started and more!


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· On Pope Francis' visit to Cuba ·
During the Extraordinary Consistory last February, after I greeted the Pope Francis before the start of the first session, he turned to me and said: "I have an idea: to come to Cuba". I shared with him my enthusiasm at the idea and suggested he add it on to his visit to Latin America in July. The Holy Father looked a bit perplexed, as Cuba was out of the way and the extended journey would already span three countries. But he said: "We shall see".
In the afternoon session of the second day, Pope Francis motioned for me to come up to his table and he said, smiling: "I have decided to come to Cuba and I've already told Msgr Angelo Becciu. A visit to Cuba will be added onto my journey to the United States in September". I answered him: "Your Holiness, I am returning to Cuba with tremendous joy!", and I thanked him. I then heard him say something that touched me even more deeply: "It's the least I can do for you all".
I have the good fortune of being the only Archbishop to receive three Popes in the same See. During that final afternoon of the Consistory, many recollections of these three popes flew through my mind in such rapid succession that I was barely able to follow the speeches of my brother Cardinals.
I recalled with deeply filial affection St John Paul II's visit to Cuba — this pope had risen on the horizon of my vocational discernment like a bright beacon, he had led me to become, first, a young Bishop of Pinar del Río (1978) and, three years later, to be the Archbishop of Havana (1981). Then, at the Consistory of 1994, it was he who created me cardinal. What closeness and fatherly affection I always sensed, what steadfast support at every moment, even when, at the end of his precious life, all his strength seemed to have left him!
For economic and social reasons, at the start of the 90s, Pope John Paul ii was unable to accept the Cuban Bishops' invitation to visit our country, an invitation he very much wanted to accept due to his interest in the situation of our Church, which had lived through situations similar to his own Poland.
Several years passed before our invitation was accepted by the Pope. In 1998, nearing the close of the millennium, weakened in the few years that had passed since we invited him, Pope John Paul II was finally able to embark on his emotional visit to Cuba. It would remain a ray of sunshine for the Church in our country and a milestone in her history and in that of the Cuban people as a whole. In his opening address to Cuba and the world, he made reference to our country's isolation from the American continent and from the world, calling for this isolation to be broken — "May Cuba, with all its magnificent potential, open itself up to the world, and may the world open itself up to Cuba". This call resounded around the world; it can still be heard today and it grows stronger with every event that seems to confirm the hope and prayer of that Holy Shepherd. An example was last 17 December, when the presidents of Cuba and the United States announced simultaneously the reinstatement of diplomatic relations between the two countries with the opening of embassies in their respective capitals.
And so began a new phase in diplomacy between two nations that have been separated for more than 50 years. During that historic announcement the two presidents thanked Pope Francis for his part in the process that led to this reconciliation and paved the way for coexistence and dialogue. Behind this agreement stands Pope Francis' discrete but effective and clear conviction: that the creation and fostering of dialogue is indispensable in the resolution of tension and conflict. It's not the first time he has stood by that conviction in his pontificate, but perhaps the continuously tense situation between Cuba and the US made it all the more important for the Holy Father's silent intervention.
The path of dialogue between religions, of the Church's dialogue with other Christian confessions and with Judaism, was significantly strengthened by Pope John XXIII and his convocation of the Second Vatican Council, which brought the Church, in a renewed way, into the concrete history of humanity in the 20th century. This call to dialogue was accepted by Pope Paul vi, who admirably promoted it throughout his pontificate. The best expression of that is contained in a few decisive words from Pope Montini: "Dialogue is the new name of love". With these words the Pope illustrated how human beings must relate and the style that must prevail in the Church, among nations, among different groups in society and between Christians and the the world.
The Pontificate of St John Paul ii was enveloped in this journey of dialogue. He lived through a difficult dialogue as bishop in his native Poland, but he nevertheless promoted it, even when it seemed barren and impossible. His direction and his teachings were faithful to that fundamental spirit of Vatican II, in which he himself had participated.
Seeing these things close up, I found in Pope Benedict xvi a clear continuity with the Church's line of interaction with the modern world, in her structures, in her political-social function and in the realm of ideas and conceptions that underlie current thought. In the latter context, Pope Benedict expressed himself magisterially: in his brilliant contribution to the style in which the Church dialogues, in his literary and personal contact with modernity and in the formulation of his thought regarding dialogue in interreligious, social and political spheres. All these constitute an inestimable treasure in the understanding of the fundamental role of dialogue in the life of the Church and of all Christians.
In June 2012, the current Pope emeritus visited Cuba as a pilgrim during our jubilee — we were celebrating the 400th anniversary of the rediscovery of the statue of Our Lady of Charity, Patroness of Cuba, which had been lost at sea. In an unforgettable conversation, the Pope expressed his happiness about the trip, for which we, the Cuban bishops, were so grateful. He warmly recalled the official welcome he had received, and the friendly gestures towards him. It was in that context that he spoke of dialogue as the rightful path of the Church. On various occasions I have cited these words from Pope Benedict, who struck me by the conviction with which he spoke them. He said: "Dialogue is the only path for the Church.... The Church is not in the world to change governments, but to penetrate the hearts of men and women with the Gospel".
Pope Benedict XVI said this to me just before stepping down from the See of Peter. When, some months later, we Cardinals gathered together for the conclave that would quickly elect Cardinal Bergoglio as Supreme Pontiff, I had the opportunity to speak with the future Pope about Latin America and Cuba. At a certain moment in the conversation, while alluding to dialogue and its importance in the current climate of grand transformation in Latin America, I remembered my last conversation with Pope Benedict. He had said to me that dialogue was the only path for the Church in her relationship with political structures. Applying his words to the context at hand, I repeated them to the future Pope Francis, who raising his arms up in the air, exclaimed: "This should be written on a plaque and placed at the entrance of every city in the world", and he repeated it, word for word: "The Church is not in the world to change governments, but to penetrate the hearts of men and women with the Gospel". He then added: "Every social and political climate should be accompanied in a climate of dialogue".
Shortly after Cardinal Bergoglio was elected to the Chair of Peter, we were filled with joy over having a Latin American Pope. He was someone close to us, who had handed to the Episcopate of Latin America in Aparecida, Brazil, the conviction that the Church is Christ's mission for our people, that we all, bishops, priests, and lay people, should be conscious of our being missionaries. Seeing that the new Pope would surely communicate that evangelical zeal, I could not but ponder what Pope Benedict had said about the Church's mission: "The Church is in the world to penetrate the hearts of men and women with the Gospel". This is what the new Pope had repeated to me with such profound conviction, and which fervently inspires his pontificate.
This is Pope Francis, who will soon be with us in Cuba: a missionary pope who comes to our little country, as he did to Sarajevo, Sri Lanka or Albania; who comes to a country which has overcome isolation and distance, thanks also to the dialogue that the Church and the Popes of 20th century fostered. And it was Pope Francis who spurred and supported dialogue between the people and the governments of Cuba and the US. He comes among us to reaffirm the missionary condition of the Church and her preference for the little ones, the poor. He comes as a missionary of mercy. No other motto could better describe him in this world of ours laden with hardship, loneliness, every form of poverty, faded hopes and void of God, where love is seen as a game in which sad losers and false victors play for themselves and never manage to find true Love. And this has thrown the family, whose role is irreplaceable in the formation of new generations, into crisis, which is why it is at the centre of the Holy Father's pastoral concern.
There is an essential link between the family and the restlessness and longing of the young people, whom Pope Francis will meet in Havana on Sunday evening. That meeting will, thus, be a very special moment during his visit to our country.
The God who is Love will be presented in Cuba by Pope Francis — to young people, to families, to priests, to sisters and to everyone: the merciful God who understands and forgives.
In the "José Martí" Plaza de la Revolución, before the altar where Pope Francis will preside at the Eucharistic Celebration, there will be a giant display of the Merciful Christ spanning ten floors of the National Library. At this moment, our Cuban people, like all people of the earth, need to experience mercy, not pity or mere condescension, but understanding of the human heart in all its restlessness and limitations. We will feel the encouragement of one who reaches out to us to lift our soul with simplicity and humility, just as Pope Francis will know how to do in the celebration of the Holy Eucharist, as he passes through the streets of Havana, and especially during his meeting with young people.
How much can really be done in such a short period of time, just a glimpse of the Pope passing by in the distance? Sometimes a glance, a gesture, a smile is all it takes to know that God comes among us and that, through his Vicar on earth, Christ is visiting his people.
Thus we welcomed St John Paul ii, Pope Benedict XVI, and thus we wait for Pope Francis. The people have not always been the same: some have gone to God the Father, many have emigrated. Emigration has left its mark on every family in Cuba; it is a perennial temptation for our youth. The emigration of young people and the low birth rate means that the population of Cuba is rapidly declining and aging, and this worries us all; but we also have other worries at the moment.
Facing the new path that appears to be opening now before the Cuban people, with all its risks and its benefits, our people, believers for the most part, must turn their gaze to God and place their future in the hands of merciful Jesus. The Holy Father will invite them to do just that. Therein lies our hope. Pope Francis will come to spread hope among us. It is no more than trusting in the action of a merciful God who will help us in the future to overcome these risks and to discover, also with His help, that the benefits can outweigh the risks on this new path opening before us, if we are capable of making room in our lives for God.
This must free our families and our young people from the paralyzing skepticism, that is alien to the Christian faith and in which God is never present. The Pope comes to tell us something new in this new moment of our history. This is surely the presentiment of the people of Cuba as they wait for Pope Francis.
I am certain that those who welcome him with an attitude of faith, as one who comes in the name of the Lord, will not be disappointed. It's true that the people of Cuba want progress and prosperity to the fair benefit of all, but not only that; on the spiritual level our people long for stable love and endurance in the family, for peace in the life of the family and the nation. In short, they long to enjoy a life of reconciliation and happiness. This is not a hopeless yearning, so long as in our hearts we do not forget that God is the giver of every good thing and that in Him nothing is impossible.
Pope Francis comes precisely for this reason, that we do not forget this, that we do not forget God, and he will be welcomed by our people with devotion and love. His presence in Cuba will leave an indelible mark, of this I am certain.
by Jaime Lucas Ortega y Alamino, Cardinal Archbishop of Havana
St. Peter's Square
Jan. 29, 2020
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Against modern slavery
Dear brothers and sisters,Good Morning!The parable discourse of Jesus which groups seven parables in the ...
Young people called to mission
During the Angelus on Sunday morning, 21 October, Pope Francis invited the thousands of faithful ...


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A set is a collection of distinct objects.
A set is a well defined collection of distinct objects. The objects that make up a set (also known as the elements or members of a set) can be anything: numbers, people, letters of the alphabet, other sets, and so on. Georg Cantor is the founder of set theory. Sets are conventionally denoted with capital letters. Sets A and B are equal if and only if they have precisely the same elements.
Basic Set Theory Part 1 - Introduction to Sets and Set NotationDownload PDF
There are some sets that hold great mathematical importance and are referred to with such regularity that they have acquired special names and notational conventions to identify them. One of these is the empty set, denoted {} or ∅. Another is the unit set {x}, which contains exactly one element, namely x. Many of these sets are represented using blackboard bold or bold typeface. Special sets of numbers include:
Basic Set Theory Part 2 - Common Universal SetsDownload PDF
There are several fundamental operations for constructing new sets from given sets.
Unions:Two sets can be "added" together. The union of A and B, denoted by A ∪ B, is the set of all things that are members of either A or B.
Some basic properties of unions:
Intersections: A new set can also be constructed by determining which members two sets have "in common". The intersection of A and B, denoted by A ∩ B, is the set of all things that are members of both A and B. If A ∩ B = ∅, then A and B are said to be disjoint.
Some basic properties of intersections:
Complements: Two sets can also be "subtracted". The relative complement of B in A (also called the set-theoretic difference of A and B), denoted by A \ B (or A − B), is the set of all elements that are members of A but not members of B. Note that it is valid to "subtract" members of a set that are not in the set, such as removing the element green from the set {1, 2, 3}; doing so has no effect. In certain settings all sets under discussion are considered to be subsets of a given universal set U. In such cases, U \ A is called the absolute complement or simply complement of A, and is denoted by A′.
Some basic properties of complements:
Cartesian Product: A new set can be constructed by associating every element of one set with every element of another set. The Cartesian product of two sets A and B, denoted by A × B is the set of all ordered pairs (a, b) such that a is a member of A and b is a member of B.
Some basic properties of cartesian products:
Basic Set Theory Part 3 - Set Operations, Complements and SubsetsDownload PDF
The Cartesian product A × B is the set of all ordered pairs (a, b) where a ∈ A and b ∈ B. Cartesian product is a mathematical operation that returns a set (or product set or simply product) from multiple sets.Download PDF
A table is a collection of related data held in a structured format within a database. It consists of fields (columns), and rows. In relational databases and flat file databases, a table is a set of data elements (values) using a model of vertical columns (which are identified by their name) and horizontal rows, the cell being the unit where a row and column intersect. - Wikipedia
A database is a collection of information that is organized so that it can easily be accessed, managed, and updated. In one view, databases can be classified according to types of content: bibliographic, full-text, numeric, and images.
Database management systems (DBMS) are computer software applications that interact with the user, other applications, and the database itself to capture and analyze data. A general-purpose DBMS is designed to allow the definition, creation, querying, update, and administration of databases. Well-known DBMSs include MySQL, PostgreSQL, Microsoft SQL Server, Oracle, Sybase and IBM DB2.
The picture to the right uses SQL to relate the tables through joins. SQL stands for Structure Query Language it is a special-purpose programming language designed for managing data held in a relational database management system, or for stream processing in a relational data stream management system.Download PDF
A set is nothing more than an unordered collection of elements with absolutely no duplicates. Formally a database refers to a set of related data and the way it is organized. Here is a video to show how you can query a database using NBA data.Download PDF
/* Created By: Rodney Anderson (randerson112358) This is an ORACLE Relational Database Query to retrieve information from tables */ SELECT name, age, TB.occupation FROM Table_A TA, Table_B TB WHERE TA.occupation = TB.key ORDER BY name DESC;


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A case on appeal requires an attorney with a different set of skills than trial counsel may possess. An indepth, academic knowledge of legal issues and ability to write persuasively about those issues is essential. At Kabrhel Compston, our attorneys are uniquely skilled at brief writing and oral advocacy in both criminal and civil appeals, and have successfully represented clients in appellate courts throughout the country.
Our attorneys regularly collaborate with other attorneys and law firms to develop and implement successful litigation strategies and to identify preserve issues for appeal. The services we typically provide range from pretrial risk assessment and strategy to the research and drafting of pretrial motions, to the preparation of trial and appellate briefs. We also consult with advocacy organizations in the preparation of amicus briefs to Appellate Courts.
Kabrhel Compston represents clients in all manner of business and consumer disputes. Our clients rely on us for everthing from small collection matters to large breach of contract and deceptive business practice claims. Many consumers and small businesses fail to seek assistance from counsel to protect their legal rights because they believe their claims are too small or the costs will be too high. At Kabrhel Compston, our goal is to provide our clients with realistic, cost effective legal planning. A short strategy session with our attorneys often results in an effective strategy for resolving our clients' claims.
At Kabrhel Compston we work with small and medium sized businesses to efficiently and proactively handle all of their legal matters, from corporate formation, to assisting with business development to heading off and, when necessary, handling legal disputes. We offer our clients responsive, practical and effective assistance they can rely on.
Our attorneys have experience representing both plaintiffs and defendants in discrimination matters before the Massachsuetts Commission Against Discrimination ("MCAD") and beyond. We also provide risk assessment to clients who are developing policies to comply with MCAD regulations, and have provided training to landlords and other constituencies on their rights and responsibilities under the Commonwealth's anti-discrimination laws.
We represent both large and small landlords, with a goal of assisting them in the preemptive, effective and efficient resolution of tenant disputes and eviction proceedings. The close, long term relationships we are able to build with our clients is essential to resolving such disputes quickly and in a cost-effectie manner. We enjoy being the "go-to" firm for our landlord clients.


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About us
StopBlaBlaCam.com is a Cameroonian fact-checking website launched in 2016. It is edited by Stratline, a firm that has been helping Cameroonian authorities, for 13 years now, implement their information and communication policy.
Stratline trusted the conception and daily management of StopBlaBlaCam.com to Mediamania, under a contract that is covered by an ethics charter which guarantees journalists their right to impartiality. Mediamania already runs various African media such as Ecofin Agency (Agence Ecofin), Business in Cameroon (Investir au Cameroun), Togo First and Niamey et les 2 Jours. Its editorial staff counts 26 permanent journalists, based for the most part in Yaoundé, Abidjan, Lomé and Cotonou.
StopBlaBlaCam.com exists to prevent hoaxes, rumors, wrong ideas and superstitions circulating in Cameroon from spreading. It is a public service mission, just like the fact-checking services of France 24 and AFP.
StopBlaBlaCam.com editorial staff is a distinct section of Mediamana. It regroups three journalists trained to fact-checking techniques. On work days, an average of three news covering sectors such as economy, society, culture, health, politics, justice and security, are published.
Subjects are picked by the journalists or recommended by readers, via an online form.
Cameroon, being both anglophone and francophone, StopBlaBlaCam.com is available in French and English.
The website also releases a weekly newsletter covering issues that were published over the week. The latter is free and sent to about 20,000 subscribers.
Patricia NGO NGOUEM
At StopBlaBlaCam.com, Patricia Ngo Ngouem writes mainly news related to culture and society. After graduating from Ecole supérieure des sciences et techniques de l'information et de la communication (Esstic) of Yaoundé, in Cameroon, she was hired by Mutations, a private newspapers. There, she headed the "culture", "education", "society" and "science-health-environment" departments, until February 2017 when she left. She also animated the NICT session for six years (2008-2013).
Patricia Ngo Ngouem also collaborated with many local, regional and international news websites. She was also a communication consultant at Unicef Cameroon. She has a great experience with social networks like Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.
National and International winner of Dictée d'Afrique (2006), a French orthography contest, Patricia won in 2016 the Global Health Reporting Contest which is organized by the International Center For Journalists (ICFJ) based in Washington D.C, US.
Sylvain ANDZONGO
At StopBlaBlaCam, Sylvain Andzongo covers news related to politics and economy.
The journalist, from 2015 to 2018 was Reuters' correspondent in Cameroon. He has a Master degree in communication, with a major in journalism, which he obtained at Ecole supérieure de sciences et techniques de l'information et la communication (Esstic), in 2011. Before that, in the early 2000s, he got a Bachelor of Arts, Bilingual Letters (English-French) and a Master in English literature.
He started his journalism career in 2002, with various newspapers in Cameroon and Gabon. Finally, he would join Mediamania in 2015 where he currently provides news on Cameroon, focused on sectors like public management, finance, telecoms and commodities. Prior to that however, still at Mediamania, he provided news on Gabon.
Julienne Rose SENDE
Julienne Rose Sende joined Mediamania for Stopblablacam's fact-checking team in 2017. She is the community manager and mainly writes about culture and society facts.
She holds a journalism degree from the department of Information science obtained at École supérieure de sciences et techniques de l'information et la communication (Esstic) in 2010.
She has a good experience in print (Mutations daily newspaper) and web (Journal du Cameroun) media. She has also been a freelance web copywriter.
Julienne Rose Sende also holds a Master in international relations with a major in communication and international public action (2016) obtained at Cameroon's Institute of International relations where she discovered her passion for business intelligence.
Our Fact-Checking method
Pictures check
To identify the origin of any image and figure out whether it has been altered as to trace its usage back (from the most recent to the oldest use), collect information about the date and time it was shot or find the metadata incorporated in it, we use three types of tools either on a laptop or a smartphone.
Web Sites
• ImageEdited
• 29a
• Jeffrey's Image
• Forensically
Mobile apps
• Photo Sherlock,
• Search by image
Browsers plugins
• InVid,
• RevEye Reverse Image Search
Video checks
To check the origin of video submitted to us or those we come across when rumors spark, we usually use Youtube DataViewer and InVID or we take a screenshot of the video and we do image reverse search using some keywords, on Google or Tineye.
Rumors' debunking (in every sector)
For classic rumors, we apply classic research methods with source cross-checking. One we know what sparked the rumor, we resort to reliable and relevant sources; i.e the relevant institutions, individuals entitled to talk about the subject and experts (in our contact book). We also read reports or interview witnesses. We finally crosscheck our findings to find the good information.
For fake job ads
When we come across a suspicious ad (job, migration, competition, business offers…), we analyze it to find inconsistencies in the poster's rhetoric (spelling, protocol or design mistakes for instance). If the institution whose name is being used on the poster has a website, we visit that website to check the information. If not, we contact the person habilitated by the institution to answer our questions.
For hoaxes
When it comes to hoaxes, we first check other fact-checking websites such as Snopes, les Décodeurs, les Observateurs , Hoax Buster or Hoax-net to see if they mentioned it. If so, we base our research on their findings.
If not, we do a keyword or image search (picture or video) to pick clues on blogs, news or entertainment websites. We also search on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Telegram, etc. Then we crosscheck the data collected with the opinion of an expert, a relevant institution, report or official, we process the information and write the article.
Straline authorized Mediamania to manage the fact-checking Stopblablacam.com it edits. This guarantees the independence of the writings. StopBlaBlaCam.com's journalists are thus called for strict impartiality in their work.
Mediamania operates many African media including Ecofin Agency, Business in Cameroon, Togo First and Niamey et les 2 Jours. Mediamania has 26 fulltime journalistes mainly based in Yaoundé, Abidjan, Lomé and Cotonou.
Article 1 : Fact-checking
Fact-checking is the core purpose of stoblablacam.com. It aims at addressing the spread of fake news across Cameroon.
StopBlaBlaCam.com's mission is to debunk fake or half-truth news based on facts, in a strictly neutral, impartial and non-selective manner.
StopBlaBlaCam.com's desk board is totally independent. It does not serve the interest of any political or religious institution.
It is not subordinated to a private or economic interest. Impartial truth-seeking is its sole mission.
Article 2 : Choice of topics
The choice of topics is handled by StopBlaBlaCam.com's desk which selects them according to the extent to which they are shared, their newsworthiness, the scope of the debates around it or the threat it represents to all or part of the Cameroonian society.
Readers or any other actor of the society can also submit subjects via an online form.
Article 3: Work procedure
StopBlaBlaCam.com uses modern fact-checking methods and technics. Its investigations rely on the professionalism and experience of known Cameroonian journalists that have a well-garnished contact book in Cameroon and a perfect knowledge of the culture, usages and local network.
Also, we rely on the skills of all the 26 African journalists of Mediamania among which there are some specialists renowned in financial investigation or in technical sectors like public management, Telecoms, agriculture, mining and oil.
Article 4: Transparency and rectifications
StopBlaBlaCam.com guarantees transparency of its information sources and methods to let its readers or peers from other media validate its fact-checking process. The desk pledges to publicly set records straight and explain the origin of a mistake if it makes them.
For Stratline
Yasmine Bhari Domon
For Mediamania
Dominique Flaux


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Thank you for your interest in serving the people of our community. At this time, these positions are on a volunteer basis, but some may lead to paid work as our funding allows.
Here are some possible roles for you to consider:
Volunteer requirements:We offer our services to everyone, no matter what religion or set of beliefs they hold. Since we are a Christian organization, however, we do require that our volunteers and staff agree with our statement of faith and our ministry approach. To find out more, please contact us to discuss these things in more detail. We also require our volunteers to pass a background check.
Please also consider:If you are unable to volunteer at this time, you can also support the work we are doing through your financial contributions on our support page.
Administrative – if you are good at organizing, scheduling, simple event planning, and other administrative functions, you could really help us optimize the services we provide. Fundraising – because all of our services are offered at no charge, fundraising is a key part of our being able to help people who most need it. If you can help with this, you would have a great impact on making this possible. Mentoring – if you can spare one or two hours per week for a one-year commitment, we would love to match you with one (or several) people who need encouragement and guidance as they heal. Prayer team member – if you believe that God can work powerfully in people's lives, we would love to have you on one of our prayer teams. Many people who come to us for help welcome the opportunity to have caring, faithful people pray for them. Seminar Host – we always try to have a few seminar hosts helping with our seminars. Seminar hosts assist the instructor, help seminar attendees feel comfortable, and help facilitate breakout discussion groups. Check out the various types of seminars we offer to see if there are some that interest you. Seminar instructor – Do you enjoy teaching and facilitating seminars? Take a look at our personal development seminars to see if there is a topic that interests you. If you have an idea for a seminar that we are not currently offering, please contact us and we'll see if it seems like a good fit for what we do. Counseling – some people with developed counseling skills appreciate an opportunity to volunteer some of their time, and we would like to help you offer your skills and experience. It is not necessary that you be licensed, as long as you have a demonstrable track record of helping people in this way.


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GECAS to lease two E190s to Myanma Airways
GE Capital Aviation Services Limited (GECAS), the commercial aircraft leasing and financing arm of GE, has announced that it will lease two modern Embraer E190 aircraft to Myanma Airways, the flag carrier of Myanmar.
The aircraft are scheduled for delivery in November and December 2012.
GECAS President and CEO Norman C.T. Liu said: "GECAS is very pleased to be partnering with the flag carrier of Myanmar. These two aircraft – which are modern, fuel-efficient aircraft powered by GE engines — will help Myanma Airways expand its fleet, and their operations. This is another example of our strategy to build our business in emerging markets," he added.
With this contract, Myanmar becomes the 76th country where GECAS leases aircraft.
Myanma Airways Managing Director Than Tun said: "We are delighted to begin working with established companies like GE and Embraer to help build and modernize our transportation infrastructure and expand the benefits of air travel to our citizens."
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Rigid Rail Fall Protection Solutions
The FLS Rail family of rigid rail fall protection solutions includes our FlexRail, FlexBridge, FlexTraxx and Twin FlexRail solutions. FLS Rail solutions have gained popularity in recent years due to their ability to arrest falls in very short distances and wide variety of configurations available.
Our enclosed track rigid rail system used in overhead applications with limited fall distances. The FlexRail system is cable of curves and intersections allowing for increased user functionality.
A variant of a FlexRail system used in a Cartesian bridge format. The FlexBridge system provides large areas of fall protection coverage. This is a favored solution in applications where the required location of the fall protection can change often.
An extruded aluminum rigid rail system used commonly for fall protection on metal roofs. Its' low profile and ability to be color matched to the roof make it virtually invisible from the ground.
Twin FlexRail
By combining to parallel FlexRail tracks, the Twin FlexRail allows user to by-pass each other. This feature frees users up to work without worrying about getting tangled up with each other.
All steel based FLS Rail solutions are available in painted or galvanized finishes. The FlexRail trolley has a 100:1 weight to movement ratio, ensuring the trolley always stays overhead even with retractable lifelines exceeding 85' in length.


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Inspirational Quote If you believe in yourself, anything is possible - We stock this item in 3 sizes and 18 different colours.
You can cut around the design, and place in any layout and any design you like.
Item comes on clear application tape, for easier installation. Full colour fitting instructions are included.
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Size Guides
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Postage Options
Free UK Postage. Posted using Royal Mail & Royal Mail Airmail
We can create this item in other sizes and different colours. Please email for further information or any questions.
if you require a colour sample please email.
This layout, and design is copyrighted.


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Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Palindrome of the day*
*didn't you know we had one?
Counting your 2008 blessings
I find someecards pretty clever and sometimes even hilarious, but--aside from a brilliant few--most of the user-generated cards are complete crap. Here are a few of the worst from the holiday section (i made this post more interesting by adding colors and changing up the fonts--whoa, buckle your deskchair belts):
"Party Like it's 1999" was Ten Fucking Years Ago!!! Happy New Year
Since we are ending the year with a bang, how about banging my rear end..for shits and giggles.
The brie puff pastry appetizer isn't the only thing that's getting baked this evening.
My New Years Resolution is to find a way to divorce your stupid ass..cheaply.
Here's to a new year and the inevitable abortion that I'll have as a result.
And here's a good one:
My New Year's resolution is to remind you how badly you're doing with yours.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
U.S. Feebly Condemns Israeli Airstrikes Over Gaza
"The United States fully supports Israel's right to defend herself, but we will almost dispute Israel stepping over the bounds of self-defense," Rice said, in a whisper that could only be heard by those closest to her in the hall.
Tuesday was the fourth consecutive day of airstrikes by the Israeli military. Israeli officials offer no hope for a ceasefire, despite the United States' suggestion that they think things through a bit more.
"We take seriously the halfhearted concerns of the United States. It pains us to hear that we are performing operations that our ally is maybe not 100% comfortable with," said Tzipi Livni, Israel's Foreign Affairs Minister and acting Prime Minister.
"It's not that I think they're totally bad," Rice mumbled, referring to the targeted attacks of known Hamas facilities that have nonetheless led to the deaths of at least 60 civilians. She then shrugged. "It's just kinda like, hey, come on, guys."
Rice added that the United States will maintain its tepid commitment to diplomatic relations.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Knitting is for crazy people
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
The thing about U-Haul is
it sucks.
It's clear that the people who work there do not want to be there. It's far away, by bus or walking. It's impossible to drive giant vans/trucks in the city. They take forever to do anything, and then make you feel like a dork for asking if you can rent blankets--not because they don't have blankets but just because it builds them up to put other people down. Then they make you fill up the gas afterward.
That's why I'm starting my own moving van rental facility. It will be called Awesome Van or maybe Van's the Man. It will be located right next door to wherever you are moving things from. A complimentary driver will be assisted by two burly yet gentle men, who will delicately remove your furniture from your dwelling and place it in the van, which will come pre-cushioned for your convenience. You will be ferried to your destination in a Vespa or something else cool. After they move your things with the grace of very strong swans, the driver will return the van for you, and then offer not to charge you because they weren't finished in under half an hour. The cost of the amount of gas you used will be credited by the company to the green charity of your choice.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Bacterial video
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Friday, December 5, 2008
Shrek the sheep
This picture makes me feel fat. Click through a slide show of Shrek being shorn here.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
"I'm game, honey!"
If the New Yorker is reporting it, it must be relevant
Seems I'm not the only one concerned about what Jones Soda is doing to the holidays.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
But more importantly
Monday, December 1, 2008
There is jelly-doughnut flavored soda
You are the One, Neo
Is this normal?
Is reading a blog about someone else's Thanksgiving dinner supposed to help you better understand your own? Isn't this kind of like--instead of getting presents on Christmas morning--getting pictures of what other people are getting?
Nonetheless, I was happy to hear that at 1:53pm, the couple from New Jersey made it through the Bridge traffic into the city.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Classic post
It's days like these, when I feel stifled by my own inadequacy—"Thursdays"—that I like to list people who were older than me when they achieved things:
Age 29 – Oprah Winfrey gets her own T.V. show
Age 30 – Steve Martin first appears on the Tonight Show
Age 30 - Kurt Vonnegut publishes his first novel, "Player Piano" (to be fair he was fighting in WWII and stuff)
Age 31 – Neil Simon writes his first play
Age 31 – Judy Blume publishes her first novel
Age 33 – Virginia Woolf writes her first novel, the Voyage Out
Age 34 – Margaret Edson produces her first and only play, "Wit"
Age 36 – Christopher Guest has his one-season stint on SNL
Age 36 – Dave Barry gets his gig writing a humor column for the Miami Herald
Age 38 – George Saunders publishes first collection of short stories
Age 45 - Roald Dahl writes "James and the Giant Peach"
Age 46 - E.B. White publishes his first children's novel (never mind that the New Yorker printed his first essay at age 26)
Age 57 – George Washington becomes president
I'm gonna flip out when I turn 40.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
All I want for Christmas is heroin
Monday, November 24, 2008
What a gas
I don't think I would want to eat this
Friday, November 21, 2008
Have I become
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
A very funny blog about human rights violations:
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Why I'm not raising kids in New York
Friday, November 14, 2008
This is important:
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Silly African head of state name of the day:
The struggle for equal rights is over
"This marks a new dawn for the curvy cucumber and the knobbly carrot," said Mariann Fischer Boel, European Commissioner for Agriculture.
Call me a bleeding-artichoke-heart liberal.
Friday, November 7, 2008
This is too adorable
Thursday, November 6, 2008
You can still wrangle a cephalopod the old-fashioned way
Licks of Love
Alternatives to Sex by Steven McCauley
How to be Alone by Jonathan Franzen
Fates Worse Than Death by Kurt Vonnegut
I Married a Communist by Philip Roth
A Good Man is Hard to Find by Flannery O'Connor
Problems by John Updike
Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler
Polls show:
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Poll update
Monday, November 3, 2008
Poll update
Polls show 7 out of 20 people would rather have a soft, yet politically incisive puppy for president than John McCain.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Creepy words that end in -kle in honor of the day
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Thou Shalt Not Covet
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Poll update
Saint Snuffles
The makers of the site explain: "The idea on how to pay tribute to pets was realized by the ability of making small cards that depict different pets as saints."
Sure, I get it.
Brand Names Rejected by Honest Tea:
Calamitea (whatever you do, don't open the bottle)
Adversitea (proceeds go to orphans)
Difficultea (hard to digest)
Dirtea (is that even tea floating around in there?)
Smuttea (inside of label conceals picture of naked woman)
Tragetea (made with real tears)
A fierce response to Obama's closing argument
He went on to note that two-day delays due to inclement weather would also be prohibited under a McCain Administration.
That's the idea.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Remember when...
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
David Sedaris on undecided voters
To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked."
Read the rest of the article here.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Results of our latest poll
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Best named British knight
It's not fair
of me to post this candid shot of McCain.
But then again, it's not fair of McCain to condescendingly call pregnant women who want abortions "young women," who must be treated with "compassion" as they "face this terribly difficult decision." I suppose it's implied that the decision is only difficult for them, seeing as how Mr. McCain and his wife Cindy, who know what's best for the startled and confused young women of the world, will be making the decision on their behalf--to have the "courage" to give birth.
p.s. another good point by Dahlia Lithwick of Slate:
"In discussing abortion, [McCain] started sneering about the trickiness of allowing exceptions for the mother's health. No nuance here. Just the bold implication that all health exceptions represent some kind of female trickery. Last time I checked, women thought their health was sort of important. Toss in his eye-crossing claim that anyone who supports abortion rights is, by necessity, not going to be qualified to sit on the Supreme Court, and it was time to kiss women voters goodbye. "
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
There's something primal in my response to these images
How will they find an unbiased jury?
From an old cover letter I wrote:
"In this position, I would write advertising coffee."
From the website I work for:
"When the marshmallow is heated, the sugar begins to brown in a process known as cartelization."
"This is a famous and perplexing question called Olber's Paradox, named after a German astronomer named Wilhelm Olber's."
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
I have my finger on the pulse of the people who read my blog
Friday, October 3, 2008
Thursday, October 2, 2008
On punctuation
Friday, September 26, 2008
Daily adorable medieval mathematician mugshot
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
By the Palin standard
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Silly scientist name of the day:
(okay, he is only sort of a scientist.)
Monday, September 22, 2008
This really happened in Sam Harris's article in Newsweek
"Of course, Charlie. I have several boys of my own, and I'm an avid hunter."
Friday, September 19, 2008
A couple of things that have been on my mind
Is it true that Hitler commited suicide because he found out that his own mother was Jewish? And also I would like ask you if you can tell me more about the industrial revolution.
Thank You,
Thursday, September 18, 2008
And then Ben Bernanke spanked them
Polls show:
McCain interview
McCain: Pay more attention.
Listen to McCain make an idiot of himself here.
No, but seriously guys, you should probably give me like $100 million
Ulrich Leisinger, head of research at the International Mozarteum Foundation in Salzburg, Austria, described the work as rough notes, the preliminary draft of a musical composition. He says it was found by a library in Nantes in western France as staff were going through its archives.
He says there is no doubt that the single sheet was written by the composer and that it is ''really important.''
The city is planning a news conference Thursday.
Leisinger says the library contacted his foundation for help authenticating the work.
Leisinger said ''it's definitely Mozart's handwriting.''
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
We are not stupid!
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Jean-François Gravelet
Jean-François Gravelet, the Frenchman who crossed Niagara Falls on a tightrope many times in the mid-19th century, also crossed the Edgbaston Reservoir in Birmingham, England. The reservoir, which is located in Rotten Park, was formerly a small fish stock pool called Roach Pool, and is fed by Titford Reservoir upstream.
This is, of course, just down the road from Fartinghamshire.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Nelson Mandela's first day of school
Mandela: My name is Rolihlahla.
Teacher: Hmm...we'll call you "Nelson."
Friday, September 12, 2008
And Adam and Eve rode off into the sunset on a triceratops.
"You see, you think of a watermelon as soft. But in order to get to the soft stuff on the inside, you have to cut through the hard outer exterior. But not T.rex. He was quite ready to eat it off the vine."
Thursday, September 11, 2008
All the world's a stage...
I'm directing a short play this fall and as part of the theater's arrangement, I have to choose from a list of selected scripts written by up-and-coming female authors. So far I have read scripts on the following topics:
Murder (3)
Ghosts only the protagonist can see (2)
Dissolving marriages (2)
Dissolving relationships (2)
Gang rape (1)
Alcoholism (1)
People who don't realize they themselves are ghosts (1)
Satanism (1)
I'm going to ask if I can do "The Odd Couple."
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
International bovid rights law
Found poetry on the subject of commuting
People seem to think
that if they push
their way onto the train
before you get off,
that's the right thing to do.
People also seem to think
that if they push off
the train before you,
their lives will be
immeasurably improved
because there is now one person
behind them
getting off the train.
This is why
I think
we need to impose
a radical population reduction program.
people who are rude
during subway commutes.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Silly scientist name of the day:
I don't know if I can take it anymore...
Monday, September 8, 2008
Silly scientist name of the day:
Friday, September 5, 2008
Cindy McCain with a pancake on her head
Thank you to reader Dan Lacey for this amazing painting. Check out his website, where you can find images of other political celebrities--including Dick Cheney, Sarah Palin, and Hurricane Gustav--as well as the artist himself with pancakes on their heads.
When donuts go bad
I guess I missed the bandwagon on these bacon cheeseburgers in a Krispy Kreme bun (allegedly made for the head of Google's cafeteria staff on their birthday). What amazed me most was not just the concept, which is cute--if disgusting--but the fact that they made so many! How many people were actually willing to eat one? Then a little research revealed that this is not an isolated affair. A minor league baseball team in St. Louis makes them. Here is a gallery of Krispy Kreme burgers from "around the world." At some point, you have to throw up your hands and admit that it is sort of delicious sounding.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Jack Abramoff's hat
Also, somebody definitely drugged that baby.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
McCain Forces Small Child To Wave; Bristol Palin's Jacket Covers Embarassing Mistake; A Disheveled Cindy McCain Wanders Into The Right Side Of Photo
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Female, 26, seeks missed connection
Sarah Palin's foreign policy experience
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Keep your thoughts about Miley Cyrus to yourself
Age 29 – Oprah Winfrey gets her own T.V. show
Age 30 – Steve Martin first appears on the Tonight Show
Age 30 - Kurt Vonnegut publishes his first novel, "Player Piano" (to be fair he was fighting in WWII and stuff)
Age 31 – Neil Simon writes his first play
Age 31 – Judy Blume publishes her first novel
Age 33 – Virginia Woolf writes her first novel, the Voyage Out
Age 34 – Margaret Edson produces her first and only play, "Wit"
Age 36 – Christopher Guest has his one-season stint on SNL
Age 36 – Dave Barry gets his gig writing a humor column for the Miami Herald
Age 38 – George Saunders publishes first collection of short stories
Age 40 - Eric Carle publishes "The Very Hungry Caterpillar"
Age 45 - Roald Dahl writes "James and the Giant Peach"
Age 46 - E.B. White publishes his first children's novel (never mind that the New Yorker printed his first essay at age 26)
Age 57 – George Washington becomes president
I'm gonna flip out when I turn 40.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Activities for Less-Thrilling Thrill Seekers
Flood Chasing
Joining a Bicycle Gang
Safari in Suburban
Carp Diving in a Carp-safe Cage
Monday, August 25, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
Take the Obama Challenge
You big jerks
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Wait, Jamaica does want more glory--stop the presses!
This corrected NYTimes headline reflects a commitment to getting the full story on how committed Jamaica is to the procurement of additional glory:
CORRECTED: Jamaica Seek More Glory After Bolt Double
Maureen Dowd finally loses it
Friday, August 15, 2008
Improv Everywhere
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Overenthusiastic or something more sinister?
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
That's what Ratko Mladic said
Orlando Bloom has agreed to star in a film about the Sarajevo siege of the early 1990s. Here's what he had to say about the city:
"Hopefully, we can get this movie to be made at the end of this year. To come here and shoot would be just wonderful," he said.
Monday, August 11, 2008
The Great Manet-Monet Debate
Today I was exposing my third grade art class to the exquisite, Impressionist water lilies of Monet's late work. They were enthralled. I even wore my Monet necktie with water lilies on it (which impressed them somewhat less than the slides). Afterwards, I mentioned that another artist from approximately the same era who sometimes worked in an Impressionistic style was Eduoard Manet and that some people confused Monet's work with Manet's.
I was somewhat startled when a little girl in the back of the room commented that she didn't think Monet's work looked anything like Manet's. I was quite curious about her seemingly very astute observation, especially inasmuch as I'd not even shown them any paintings by Manet. I questioned her further, asking her where she'd ever seen any Manets. She replied, "In our refrigerator."
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Little Known Battle Cries of the American Revolution
Ack! – Paul Revere
Quartering sure sounds bad! – Abraham Whipple
Taxation without representation, hurrah! – the British
This one's for the British Royal Proclamation of 1763, suckers! – George Washington
They'll call this Massacre Day! – anonymous colonial militiaman
Hey, those rocks really hurt! Cut it out! – Thomas Preston (British Captain present at Boston Massacre)
Also, a little known celebrity who fought for the Patriots, Jack Black:
Thursday, July 31, 2008
As many have footnoted...
- Decided to forgo showering since I'll be gross by the end of the day anyway!
- Traveled with very few delays to JFK!
- Purchased a pretty okay muffin from a bakery I like!
- Enjoyed free wireless internet from Jetblue!
- Had trouble getting my laptop out in the security line!
- Wasn't selected for further screening!
- Contemplated lunch options!
I'm somewhat thrilled about my birthday tomorrow!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
Official Transcript of Obama's 7/24 Speech in Berlin
How can the Times call him "vague"?
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Manufactured Spontaneity
Friday, June 27, 2008
More like Pale and Farty
Thursday, June 26, 2008
in chelsea
and he took it.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
With his usual grace...
"Your eminence, you're looking good," Mr. Bush said.
-AP report
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Good Enough for Government Comedy
Area Woman Going To Be So Cool About It If Blind Date In Wheelchair
Clinton Gracefully Admits Defeat Ten Weeks Ago
Neighbor's Wireless Sucks
Area Girlfriend Spends All Her Time Faking Interest In Sports
Married Couple Feels Pressure To Act Gayer
Area Woman To Start Cooking Everything By Boiling It Alive
Area Woman Trying Not To Describe Big Black Guy As "Big Black Guy"
Bad Haircut Fails To Grow Out
And much much more! Stayed tuned. And for goodness sakes, comment.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Another several weeks, another headline
Play Within A Play Also Boring
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Ask and ye shall receive
The winner of our formal "What's the Cutest?" poll is two puppies! Two puppies are very good looking indeed.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Literary Toiletries from Harper-Jergens
Everything Is Illuminated Foaming Cleanser
The Invisible Man Self-Tanning Spray
For the Relief of Unbearable Urges Anti-Diarrheal Medication
The Feminine Mystique Tampons
The Unbearable Lightness of Being Protein Powder
Monday, April 14, 2008
I hope they do an encore!
Oooh, that concert was so amazing! My throat hurts from screaming! I have never spent $32.50 so well before. I hope they do an encore!
The lights are still down, so that's a good sign. But on the other hand, the house lights have come up a bit. Or am I just imagining it? It might be the beer messing with my light-sensitivity. OMG, did someone just walk onstage?!
No, it's just a techie.
They won't come out if the house lights come up. That'll mean they've given the signal that they're going to call it a night. Don't they know their fans are out here waiting? We need to make some noise!
Oh man oh man oh man! What if they don't come back out? I swear I'll kill someone. Everybody cheer louder!
Woo! Woooooooooo! Wooo [hack hack hack cough].
I can't cheer anymore. My hands are raw from clapping. Just come back please. I swear I'll make it worth your while. I'll rev up the crowd to give you that energy you crave! I'll get the crowd on its feet! I'll get everyone to do the wave! Or pull out their cell phones and wave them around just around like little lighthouses calling your music home to port! For chrissakes, just get back out here!
Oh man. If they keep the lights down all this time and then they don't come out, I am going to be so pissed. I can't handle that kind of disappointment.
Fuck it, I'm leaving.
Excuse me, I need to get through. I'm giving up. We just didn't want it badly enough.
Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Is that them? They're coming back! They just needed to get some water! Look at that!
I can't believe I ever doubted you—oh, Matchbox 20, I love you.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
The News Today Is Bad
Another Onion headline
Also, check out this interview I did with comedian Kumail Nanjiani. He seems like a pretty cool dude. The interview is terrible but go see him perform anyway.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Cheap Joke About Dick Cheney
How long can we expect Mr. Abbas to stand there with his hand outstretched, grinning like an idiot, while Mr. Cheney's visual receptors send a message to his brain which indicate to the nerves in his arm to begin moving slightly forward?
Perhaps he is wondering if Mr. Abbas wants to slap five or do some other kind of cool West Bank-style handshake Mr. Cheney will not know how to do.
Maybe he is afraid he will not have the skills required to pull his hand back quickly and snap, then pound it, or--worse yet--to wiggle his fingers among Mr. Abbas' while making a high pitched victory twitter.
Maybe he thought Mr. Abbas was about to give him something, like a sugary treat or the key to Ramallah, and he is quietly reframing the information at hand, given the emptiness of Mr. Abbas' palm.
Either way, his hesitation is costly.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Recipes Modified for People Who Don't Think Ahead
* Refrigerate dough the night before you decide to bake cookies.
* Melt chocolate in the nonstick saucepan you never got back from your friend Sheila.
* Have soaked beans overnight.
* Assemble the raw ginger and buttermilk you bought last week just in case.
* Substitute your cooking skills for the skills of someone who has taken a class in German cuisine.
* Reduce your loneliness by having invited people over to share all this food with you.
Friday, March 7, 2008
My first Onion headline!
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Full Cookie Poll Results Expected Late Friday
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
True Love (Part 2)
You know it's true love when...
- The band strikes up when your eyes meet across the room (Casablanca)
- Your foot "pops" when you kiss him (The Princess Diaries)
- You find yourselves rolling down a hill in a compromising position (The Lion King)
- He owns a rival bookstore (You've Got Mail)
- He wrote that thing in the law firm with the fish and the clients and the thing and he's Tom Cruise (Jerry Maguire)
- You literally have his first wife's bloody heart beating in your chest (Return to Me)
- He doesn't mind that you're a bit of a cold fish (Finding Nemo)
- He can't catch a cab on New Year's (When Harry Met Sally)
- You go for walks together even though you have lupus or whatever (A Walk To Remember)
- He's your ex-step-brother (Clueless)
- His wife is dead (Sleepless in Seattle)
- You are played by Meg Ryan and he is played by Tom Hanks (Everything)
- He doesn't let the neighbor's rotten kid tie you to a firework and shoot you into the sky cause you've got a friend in him (Toy Story)
- Your reconstructed dinosaur egg is artificially fertilized by his paleolithic sperm resulting in an unholy act of human creation (Jurassic Park)
Saturday, March 1, 2008
See below...
True Love (Part 1)
Wedding Announcements
March 2, 2008
Fran Somers, a Manhattan-based pediatrician, met and married Louis Pinzer, a Doubletree Hotel employee, when he came down into Ballroom B to inform her that Philip Erlanger, her fiancé, would not be joining Ms. Somers at the altar. The bride will keep her name, and a small portion of her dignity.
Annabelle Leubling of
Miriam B. Hirschfeld married Solomon Michael Berkowitz, a nice Jewish boy, at the Prince Hotel, a perfectly nice establishment, on Sunday, a nice day for a wedding. Rabbi Chaim Fretzman, who did a nice enough job at the Kolokoff wedding, officiated.
Louisa Elizabeth Prescott wed Mason Winston Prescott, her first cousin, in an embarrassing mix-up!
Maggie, a black-lab/collie mix and King Alex, a sweet ol' mutt, were married by Eliza Cassandra Brown of Pineapple Street Tuesday. The bride wore a ballet tutu around her neck and the groom wore a top hat. The ceremony came to an abrupt end when Maggie saw a stick and ran off.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Don't Be Early To The Party
9:02 pm
Check email.
9:15 pm
Watch "Charlie Bit Me" video on YouTube.
9:25 pm
Check email.
9:26 pm
Microwave a couple of frozen pizza bites, so you won't be hungry all night.
9:45 pm
Send "Charlie Bit Me" video to some friends who might be interested. Ask if any of them are going to party. They might.
10:00 pm
Talk about "Charlie Bit Me" with one of them for a while. Say things like "CHAR-lie" and "he bit me!"
10:15 pm
Check email.
10:16 pm
Look at the Facebook page of that guy you liked for a while who was probably really into you before he moved to
10:24 pm
Notice how skinny his current girlfriend is.10:25 pm
Do a few crunches.
10:30 pm
Feel sheepish, report crunch-doing to friend via AIM. Ask if she's going to party. She isn't.
10:45 pm
Discuss sorry state of feminism with said friend.
11:00 pm
Microwave a few more empowering frozen pizza bites.
11:10 pm
Check email.
11:14 pm
Click on YouTube link mom sent you in her latest email to the "Mom Song" sung to the tune of the William Tell Overture.
11:23 pm
Send "Mom Song" link to friends on AIM, with message "my mom sent me this. Ha."
11:27 pm
Feel a little guilty, consider calling mom to tell her you love her.
11:28 pm
Write note to self to call her on Sunday.
11:30 pm
Finish off box of pizza bites.
11:40 pm
Discard box with small sense of accomplishment. Empty garbage and put it in a new trash bag.
11:43 pm
Check email.
11:44 pm
Text to see if anyone is not online because they're already at the party. They are, but people are starting to leave. Check time. Notice it's getting late.
11:46 pm
Text friend to tell him you're just gonna have an early night.
11:47-4:13 am
4:13 am
Monday, February 25, 2008
Brain teaser.
You are driving a bus.
Three people alight.
The swirling fans of autumn surround them
As they move out among the pear-cheeked babes
And dogs with rabes
(six more step off)
And sticky stacks of newspap' packs
And strolling cars
And men from Mars
And girls with weights on roller skates.
The light is red.
Four more aboard.
Their leaden bags are gnawing thoughts
As they move down past taken seats
A man that reeks,
(and nine step on)
A mother's legs and ciggy dregs
An apple core
Upon the floor
Here ends the wait, they hesitate
For some unseemly puddle on the seat.
A dozen on,
A dozen off,
This man will drink,
That man will cough.
At midnight comes a quiet bliss,
And youngster now I ask you this:
What color are the bus driver's eyes?
Sunday, February 24, 2008
unless you voters give me a reason not to.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
In the meantime...
I am writing to apply for the position of Analyst, which you posted on My friend Greg told me about it. Because of my many years of experience in analyzing things, I believe that I am an excellent candidate for this position.
I am writing to apply for the position of Analyst, which you posted on My friend Greg told me about it. Because of my many years of experience in analyzing things, I believe that I am an excellent candidate for this position.
As a senior citizen for over 3 years, I demonstrated my excellent attention to detail, strong communication skills and fantastic swaddling and analyzing skills. My supervisors called me Grandma, and entrusted me with such independent tasks as taking Charlie and Emma to the zoo. These experiences have given me the skills needed to excel in this position.
Please strongly consider my application and contact me if you have any other questions. Thank you.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Cover Love-Letter to a Prospective Employer
My lips trembled when I saw your posting for the position of Administrative/Editorial Assistant. Alas, I have been rejected time and time again, and I find myself as a thirsty woman in the desert, clinging to the cactus that is Random House. Though I have striven to repel the impulses that lead me to compose this cover letter, even now I am pulled onward, onward by the thought of the retirement plan you may one day grant me. Health benefits aside, my loins ache for the chance to have my very own cubicle, where I could display a portrait of your holy visage, until Human Resources asked me to take it down.
I am attaching a list of the inane activities I have heretofore used to distract myself from you, my one and only love, whose name drips like honey from the tip of my tongue: Hiring Manager.
With my undying love,
Pancake LadyXOXOXOXO
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Introducing: Our Hero
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Stirringly vague and vaguely stirring!
Monday, January 21, 2008
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Easy Woodstuff for Kids
The name of the book is Easy Woodstuff for Kids, by David Thompson, with illustrations by Stacy Buhler. You can purchase it here for only one penny!
There are no pictures available on Amazon, so let me tell you about the cover! It shows a little Asian girl with thick bangs and OshKosh overalls looking dejectedly at a piece of string tied around some twigs. On a table in front of her there are, from L-R: a wooden tool box with some tools, a bit of a tree branch with some pencils stuck in it, and finally, a wooden plank with a teapot on it! But there are even more fun projects floating in the sky behind her head! Including: a piece of wood with a wooden cylinder sticking out of it! And, a piece of wood with some twigs glued to it!
Opening the book, we find the enticing table of contents, including such sections as "Sticks Are Made of Wood" where we can find instructions for projects such as "Write Your Name With Sticks." I can't wait until we get to "Scrap Wood Projects" like "A Wooden Trivet Made From A Piece Of Scrap Wood" and "Plywood Projects" like "A Tray Made From Three Pieces Of Plywood" and "The Magic Broom Holder"! I wonder what makes it magic!
Mr. Johnson's introduction is illuminating: "Children move quickly. Their hands move from one thing to another before we can see them. They have to be slowed down. Part of our role is slowing them down, making them conscious of what they are doing, and giving them the opportunity to do something slowly, carefully and deliberately." I can't wait!
A section titled "Hammer" lets us know that "Children love to hammer, but in order to hammer well, they need a good hammer." Another section on "Sanding" includes the lyrics to a little sanding song Mr. Johnson "often sings" while sanding. Sand, sand, sand your wood, Looking at the grain, When you think your work is done, It's time to start again. Back to work, kids!
In conclusion, "There are many more wonderful experiences to explore with wood. I wish we didn't have to stop here, but we do. Thank you for sharing in this experience."
Thank you, Mr. Johnson.
Now finish sanding my new dining set, Timmy.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
God Bless Our First Amendment Rights
We like the Christmas displays, liberals
I wanted to say thank you to all the wonderful people that did all the work at Christmastime putting up all those Christmas lights and displays. We went out three or four times and we were just absolutely thrilled with all the displays. They were just beautiful. Happy New Year. The liberals and the enemies lost big-time.
Yeah, all those liberals with their strict anti-cheer policy can go straight to hell. Why don't they just phone up Osama and dance on a mall Santa cloaked in an American flag to celebrate Razzamadazz or whatever that pro-gloom Islamicky festival is called?
There's no global warming; it snowed
I just wanted to say so much for global warming. I live in Paradise and I've got about 4 inches of snow on the ground.
It SNOWED??? Why wasn't this on the National News?! What have I been saying this whole time? I told you it wasn't getting any hotter!
Those bullet shot holes are ridiculous
It's Dec. 27. It's about 4:45. There's a brand-new PT Cruiser in front of me and they have those fake little bullet shot holes and I think that's utterly ridiculous and I don't think it's funny. I've seen them on other cars before.
It's Jan. 2. It's about 4:53. There's a newspaper in front of me and it has a complaint about fake bullet holes ("bullet shot" holes, it calls them) on car rear windshields, and I think that's utterly ridiculous. I've seen silly complaints before, but this one wins.
How do you get rid of grease stains?
Does anybody out there have a remedy for grease stains on dark colors? I've tried everything.
Spilled a little barbecue sauce on your suit at Aunt Millie's wake? Get the grease out of black fabric using dish detergent. You can still make it to Cousin Sue's wedding and stop her from marrying that awful Ted guy! Run, man, run!


text:
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