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© Another Day in the Country
Well, we did have snow didn't we? On Wednesday, last week, it was hard to imagine with the sun shining and 50 degree weather. I went to the grocery store.
"Stocking up?" the clerk asked and when I looked bewildered, she said, "for the coming snow?"
I laughed. Furthest thing from my mind. I have mom's pantry, after all, which she always kept stocked up and five years after she's gone I carry on the tradition.
It seemed that everyone was talking about the coming snow, weathermen showing wave after wave of dark blue flooding over Kansas with the deepest color, "a bulls eye" they called it, just to the west of us here in Ramona.
When the snow did start falling it seemed it would never last, falling slowly, almost like a mist, gently — more a skiff than a blizzard.
"Over 12 inches expected," everyone was saying, "maybe more!"
How could this be? Twelve inches is a lot of snow.
Early Thursday morning, 4 o'clock, I woke up and looked out my door to check the snow — more had fallen, how much it was difficult to tell in the dark. By the time the sun was up, it was snowing in earnest.
My cousin called from Colorado.
"You snowed in?" he wanted to know. "Maybe," I answered, "but it isn't like the last storm when there was so much ice. We did decide against venturing out to Abilene to exercise."
He laughed.
After his call, I decided I would get the yardstick and measure this snowfall. How much did we really have? More than we'd gotten for several years, I knew. Fourteen inches on my front side walk and it was pretty level as far as my eye could see. Everything was quiet, still, pristine. Not a footprint of anything to mar this perfect white blanket of snow. There wasn't even any wind, amazing in Kansas — maybe just a little breeze.
There wasn't a single tire track on the road past my house until early afternoon. Must have been at least one over on 4th Street because Kathy was at the Post Office doing business according to my sister — who walked over, later in the morning.
At noon, Jess called and said, "I made basil vegetable soup," a favorite of mine, "come over for lunch. Better wear tall boots," she admonished.
Marshmallow had made it from her house to mine through the snow, so I thought, "I'll follow his trail — cat's always go for the most shallow route."
I lost his trail in a hurry — he'd been walking on top of the snow. It is serious exercise in its own right to break trail through this much snow! We ate our soup, chatted, "I got a new movie. You want to watch one with me?" We did. This being snowbound was fun!
Everything was cared for — I'd filled the bird feeder just before the snow, made sure the chickens had plenty of food and water, topped off the pond, put the car in the garage, unhooked the hose — I was ready to be snowed in! And then we got even more snow!
My sidewalk has not been cleared. I started, but that is really deep, heavy snow. I stopped. Thanks to the porch, I can get my front door open. I'll just wade through, if I have to, I reason. My driveway is undriveable, clogged even more when they cleared a path down the main streets. The town is still very quiet. I like the quiet.
The cats have come in from the back porch where they sought haven — Skeeter has a heating pad to lay on out there. Marshmallow joined her, only because he couldn't get the back porch door open with all the snow in front of it — he likes his independence. When I let the cats in the house, this morning, they began to play hide and seek — Skeeter's favorite game. Her next favorite game is marbles.
There's a marble game on an end table, TTT got it for his birthday once. There's 32 marbles in that game and not a single one is on the game board. Skeeter has knocked them all onto the floor so that she can play her version of marbles — she bats them around on the linoleum. She loves the sound they make — lots more fun than on the rug. At the moment, there is not a marble to be seen anywhere. They have all been knocked into some unattainable place. Under, behind, stuck, gone. I laugh at her antics, grateful for her company.
Being snowed in is sort of fun. I made cherry cobbler for supper, delicious, remembering the last time we were snowed in and Ramona had no electricity.
And now it's another day in the country. Still, snowed in. I feel a little like "Little House on the Prairie" pioneering but in their stories they were really snowed in, not just pretend! I could get out (I think) if I really needed to.


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Ever looked for a site that you know for a fact will never run out of content for you to enjoy? I present to you TXXX.com ( previously knows as TubeCup.com), a porn site under the network which has the same name. So why am I saying that this place will never run out of content? It has to do with the fact that you'll literally find millions upon millions of videos on here that will never cease to entertain you. Seriously , you've come to a place that will just never run dry , no matter how much time you spend on it! Useful and optimal, TXXX.com knows what's upT XXX looks very professional , with snappy responsiveness and a minimal design that has everything you need from it. It's got all the tabs that you'll usually find on any other porn site and it has a nice design which features a red and white palette. Now , as you know , I like it when sites are darker, as in a lot darker than this. It's a shame that you won't find a dark mode for this site because I really think it would be appreciated by a lot of its users. But oh well , you can't please everyone. Everything is in its proper place though , as all the tabs and buttons and other interactive gizmo is right where you would expect it to be. There aren't many differences in that regard between TXXX and other porn tube sites, so you'll feel right at home if you're trying this site after being a long-time user of a different porn site in the past. There are even a bunch of links at the top of the page where you can check out other sites that fall under the TXXX.com network.So, so many videos to choose from, in every category One thing you'll notice immediately is how many videos there are per category. Some are sparser with several thousand videos, and then you've got the Straight category which just pummels every other category flat into the ground. I'm not even joking, the Straight category is straight-up curb stomping every other category , so much so that it's not even funny. I mean , over a million and a half videos? Dude , how the hell are there even that many videos on here, who uploaded all these videos, damn …You've also got other popular categories such as HD, Amateur , Big Tits, and more. These are all pretty vanilla categories so there's no surprise there with them being on T XXX. However , there are just so many categories on here that there's definitely something that you'll enjoy too. One of the best additions with the category system is that they really went all out when making different nationalities available in the categories. You won't find this on many other porn sites, that's for sure.You can find all these categories on the left-hand side of TXXX.com, right where you'd expect the list to be, but you can also find it up in the tabs where it can be used as a drop-down menu when you click on it. It's a bit confusing that you have to click on this tab to get the menu to pop , but with the Movies tab , it pops up automatically. So, a bit of a weird functionality quirk there, but I guess it's not that serious since you get used to it pretty much immediately when you experience it for the first time. Sort and search, find exactly what you're looking for As with other porn sites, you can sort through all the videos on TXXX.com. A cool feature here is that you can do it directly from the drop-down menu, which saves you some time and patience. I definitely like this since I don't like waiting for a page to load just so I can choose an option , and have it load again. You can choose between the longest, latest, top rated, and most popular videos, as with every other site. A little unimaginative? Nah, I think they're just sticking to what works so kudos for that.They had to include a home button as well , but whatever, at least they didn't write ' Home ', and instead reduced this completely unnecessary button to a simple icon of a house. They know … They just weren't brave enough. You can also us the search bar to find something on the site and I can safely say that they did a great job with how close the results are to what I was trying to search. A few outliers, sure , but you'll find much worse results in other places, that's for sure.Models straight out of sex heaven And hey, how about that Models tab? Jeez, there are so many filters here, you can basically choose every detail about the woman you want to see a dick inside. Unfortunately, it won't be your dick, but oh well. You can even choose whether you like your chicks to have tattoos and piercings or not. And damn , these are some fine ass broads if I do say so myself. I wouldn't mind having one of them over for some coffee, but I guess they're too busy sucking dick. Moving over to the Community tab , we can see a lot of friendly faces, and even friendlier titties. Some of these girls are just going all out at this point , and they have no shame whatsoever. They're flashing their titties around like it's a merry-go-round and I couldn't complain about this for a second. You can browse through all the members of the site by filtering them according to their gender, age , relationship, as well as whether they have an avatar or not. Cool , pretty cool. Over a thousand channels to choose fromThen we've got the Channels. Here you'll notice that there are over a thousand channels to look out for on T XXX and every one of them has their specialty. What I want to know is which one of these bad boys is responsible for the millions of videos. Maybe they all share the load and they all uploaded about a thousand videos each though I doubt that. There's always that one channel that is just way too generous to us and uploads a metric shit ton of content. One thing that I don't really like about the channels is that you might come across gay content even if you didn't set TXXX.com to gay content. I mean , I'm just browsing through here and you're going to hit me with that gay shit? I'm not ready for that, not when I'm looking for some hot STRAIGHT porn to jack off to. Nothing kills a boner faster than seeing a dude with one in his mouth. I mean , gay people rejoice , but this isn't the way I thought I was gonna go out. Make an account, become a studAnyway, how about those playlists? There are over 5000 playlists to choose from, all of them made by users just like you. Oh, and they have an account. We'll get to that in a moment , but in the meantime, you should know that there's a playlist for pretty much everything on TXXX.com aka Tube Cup. The users on here made the grind and created some of the sexiest playlists that you simply have to see in order to appreciate them completely.But yeah, talking about that membership, you should totally look into making an account. It's a painless process , takes minutes to do, and it unlocks so much utility with the site that it's simply incredible. You'll be using all of them as you browse TXXX.com, and only then will you unlock the full potential of the website. All in all, the site is simply amazing for all audiences, so definitely try it out. It definitely gets ThePornDude's seal of approval.
Any serious pornoholic has definitely at least heard of the tube site known as xHamster.com. Most of you, I'm willing to wager, have fapped to it on more than one occasion. For some of you, it might even be your go-to porn tube site. And, if that is the case , you are certainly not alone. In fact , there are 10 million others who fap to xHamster frequently enough to be registered users. After Xvideos and Porn Hub , it is the third most popular pornographic site on the internet today. Headquartered in Limassol, Cyprus, xHamster was founded in 2007 by Alex Hawkings. The minds behind the site wanted to do something different from what they were seeing most porno sites doing at the time. Coming off of the peak popularity of social media sites like Facebook and Twitter , xHamsters founders set out to create a site that was equal parts porn tube and xxx social media site. A spokesperson for the site said of xHamster's intentions that the site was meant for people who wanted to chat , exchange erotic pics and share amateur videos ... to find mutual friends online and maybe discover partners interested in intimate relationships." I think it is fair to say that x Hamster has done a bang-up job of providing the platform that they set out to provide , as it has become a cornucopia of amateur and homemade user-uploaded content. As far as the " discover partners interested in intimate relationships" part is concerned , though , I cannot speak to. I have never felt the need to resort to a porn site to find my " intimate relationships," but I am very curious to know if anyone's ever had any luck with that aspect of the site. The People's Porn Network Along with so much user-uploaded content , though , controversy is bound to come sooner or later. With the number of people out there in the world who are sick fucks—not sick fucks who spend all day fapping in their mothers' basements the way you are a sick fuck, I'm talking real , clinically ill sick fucks—a site like xHamster that allows its users to upload basically whatever they want was bound to become inundated with illegal and fucked up content. xHamster has not struggled in keeping up with the shifting social tides and establishing a sense of moral duty , though. In April of 2016, for example , North Carolina enacted laws that said its counties and cities were allowed to openly discriminate against members of the LGBT community. In response to this, xHamster blocked their site from any users with an IP address based in North Carolina. You might also recall hearing about the People V. Turner sexual assault case. To help combat the growing prominence of rape culture in America, xHamster banned all videos involving rape , including those which featured the fucking of unconscious partners. Their social and political involvements don't stop there, though. One of my personal favorite political statements that they made came in response to the 2016 Democratic National Committee email leak , when they offered Debbie Wasserman Shultz $50,000 to star in a porno opposite a Bernie Sanders lookalike. You know , since she already fucked him out of the election. Ah, if that isn't fucking gold, I don't know what is. The Site Itself Obviously , xHamster has made quite a name for themselves in their relatively short period of time as a xxx social media/porn tube. But does the site itself hold up to all the hype? Well , let 's take a look. From the moment you arrive at xHamster's home page , it is hard not to be impressed by how clean and easy to navigate the web design is. With videos broken into two simple and distinct categories: hot porn videos and newest porn videos. You can also easily filter by best instead of newest and by length (which is a great feature , considering homemade videos, for some reason , tend to be significantly shorter in length ). To your left , you can easily filter search results by category , channel , or porn star by simply clicking on it. You can also combine tags together with one click—a great feature that, somehow , is glaringly missing from a lot of tube sites that I've browsed. Their professional studio content appears right alongside their teeming archive of homemade content , unless you specify otherwise. You can also conveniently filter the videos so that you only see straight , gay, or shemale videos. If you don't discriminate at all in your hedonism, however , you can always activate all three. The most annoying thing that they added was a hardcoded watermark on top of the videos. It sometimes really messes with your fap experience , when you're about to see a guy jizz on a chick's face and then...BOOM! That damn watermark "this video has been uploaded to xHamster" appears on the chick's face like a motherfucking cockblocker! Seriously , whoever thought it was a good idea deserves a kick in the balls! As far as xHamster's social media components are concerned , you have all the usual community-oriented features that you'd be used to on other similar sites (such as Porn Hub )—you can comment on/rate videos, add videos to your favorites, upload videos/pictures, and message users directly. One thing that really sets xHamster apart from the others, though , is that, when you click on their tab labeled "dating," you are not brought to some sketchy third-party scam " get laid tonight" Refreshing If you're looking for a massive (and I mean massive ) archive of porn videos, Video-One.com might be the place for you. I'm talking nearly 54,000 pages (yes, I said "pages") of videos, each page containing around 360 videos. Now math was never my strong suit but I think that adds up to a grand total of nearly 20 million videos! Considering the fact that Video-one is adding new content every day even the loneliest, horniest fappers among us would never run out of material on this tube site. From the moment you arrive to video-one.com ( make sure you don't forget the hyphen; Video-One is a video chatting client ), you are immediately in the thick of all that the site has to offer. At the top of the page find 50 or so suggested categories to choose from (" brother " " extra small " "caught stealing ," and " amateur compilation" to name a few ). Lots of Raw Hardcore Content These tags probably give you a pretty good idea of what to expect from Video One. Another way to get an idea of the sort of content they offer is to take a look at what sites they link to: xHamster, Beeg, TXXX, and DTVideo are a few. What this should tell you is that a majority of the content will be homemade, or at least amateur-inspired. You might label a lot of it Gonzo. I tend to use the term "raw." We're talking productions akin to Casting Couch Fake Taxi and Asian Street Meat. Granted, Video-One does have the occasional HD studio video thrown in here and there, the majority of their content if not full-on homemade, is from one of these studios that specializes in raw content. Be Careful What You Click On Video-One also seems to cater to the demographic of pornophiles who fancy the more taboo type stuff —daddy/daughter, brother/sister incest roleplay. Well at least I hope it's all roleplay. Some of the videos in these sections are from easily recognized, reputable studios, but a good portion of them look to be very homemade and are tagged with things like " Real Sister." I have no way of verifying whether or not these videos are actually illegal or not. I sure as hell ain't clicking on that shit. I wish that you sick incestuous fucks would get the fuck away from the legal web. Stick to the dark web for nasty shit like that. Furthermore, I really think tube sites like Video-One should draw a hard line in the sand against illegal content like this. Even if these aren't true incest videos, why even entertain that they might be? Anything tagged with something like " Real Sister" should be immediately removed from your site. This kind of shit, unfortunately, spoils what could have been a great tube site for me. It should not be on the viewer's discretion to view illegal or potentially abusive content. That becomes your responsibility the moment you decide to make a porn site. How the fuck is this a thing that I can't even skim through a tube site without worrying about whether or not doing so will get me put on some FBI list that I have no business being on? Come on, Video-One, get your fucking shit together. Having said that, be careful what you click on if you decide to visit this site. If you're okay with sifting through potentially illegal content there is a lot of legit, above-board material here to enjoy. And, again, a fucking massive amount of it. Just to illustrate I was on the site for 10 minutes before refreshing the homepage. In that 10 minutes, 15 new videos had been uploaded. That's crazy. You'll never run out of videos to choose from on Video-One. A Labyrinth of Pornography The site itself is designed pretty Either As far as ads are concerned there are some, but most are thoughtfully kept to the bottom of pages. Which, given the number of videos that appear on each page , you'd have to do a hell of a lot of scrolling to ever find them. I do appreciate that aspect. However , once you do get to them, there are shit load. No ads before videos, though. You will run into the occasional pop-up, new tab ad when you click on a video, but at least it's not every fucking time you click on something like it is on a lot of other sites. I would obviously prefer none , but if I have to search for them, then I guess these ads are somewhat excusable. Besides the majority of the on-page ads are for other tube sites (which is very convenient if you want to get the fuck away from the incest bullshit), and the new tab pop-ups were often pages that were unable to load in private mode. I'm not sure exactly what this means, but if I can't see the ad, I'm happy. A Brief Call to Action Before You Get Back to Fappin' To be honest I am really turned off by the potentially illegal content to be found on Video-One. It's a shame too, because Video-One has so much potential to be a great porn site with a shit ton of content to choose from. Even if they removed all of their potentially illicit videos, they would still have a massive archive to explore. All of us porn addicts need to come together and just stomp this kind of shit out of our community. Flag shit that looks sketchy. If you can. Video-One, unfortunately, doesn't offer that feature. Step up and take on the fucking responsibilities that come with having a porn site or don't have one. It's as simple as that. All hail the almighty Porn Hub ! The king of porn sites! Founded in 2007 by Matt Keezer, who sold it to Fabian Thylmann in 2010, because the fucker probably cared more about the money than the website itself! (Would you refuse of the Manwin branch which is now known as 'Mindgeek'. Other giants in the network include sites like YouPorn and Redtube. Although Porn Hub is currently not the most popular porn site in the world it does hold more pornographic content than any other website out in the romantic comedy movie 'Don John' of 2013? It's about a fap addict that can't stop masturbating on porn sites, even though he has a very active sex life. I wonder why the fuck they asked that closet faggot Joseph Gordon-Levitt the your cumshot with the stars in the video. It can be so annoying that the guy and the video is already done! I assume if a video got you off or not. By registering an account, which is 100 free by the way you encounter , you can also easily can remove up your hairy ass with Bubba in jail ! From innocent looking teens showing their naked bodies to spazzed out crack whores being choked, spit on and having every hole violated by a hockey team , this site has it all. Do you like pornstars like Mia Khalifa, Chyna and Stormy Daniels? No problem , click on the pornstars' menu tab how she's able to offer off on Porn Hub ( often misspelled as 'pron hub ", "pirnhub", "prnhub", "poenhub", "hubporn", "phub" or "potnhub"), then you cant get off anywhere! In case the ads annoy you, you want to download or watch for a friend 's birthday! Imagine the look on his face , when he opens your present. His eyes will be shattered with tears, and you can be sure that this is one gift he won't be selling on eBay again afterward! You can even upload your homemade sex tape and get paid up to $5,000 by using their amateur payment program and become the next amateur porn star. Don't you want to be the next big thing in pornography?
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Tryapexnow.com has just been updated with Oracle APEX 4.0 Early Adopter Release 3. Have a look!
We are now feature complete and appreciate any help testing all those features. A detailed list with the new features should be available soon. For plug-ins I have extended the apex_plugin_util package with additional useful functions. Check them out! They will make your life a lot easier and improve the quality and security of your plug-ins.
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Note: For those who had a workspace on the EA2 machine, you will have to sign up for a new workspace. Your existing applications on EA2 will be available for some time so that you can copy them over.


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Rihanna Shares Video of Her Spending Time With Family
Most of us were spending time with our families for Thanksgiving yesterday and in honor of the big holiday, Rihanna shared a video via Who Say of her spending time with her family, namely her mother, her little brother and her "Gran Gran." With all the super-sexed chatter that defines and surrounds her new album 'Talk That Talk,' RiRi goes back to basics in this clip, dubbed 'Family Values,' which is narrated by her mentor Jay-Z. He is actually billed as Sean Carter in the credits, so this vid certainly pop reveals pop stars in a different light.
In his voiceover, Mr. Carter states, "There's nothing like family. These are the people who make you who you are," as RiRi and her loved ones page through photos of her as a little girl and look at old report cards from her school years. Ri is dressed in a black maxidress with spaghetti straps and her wild mane of brown curls pulled back in a ponytail, piled atop her head. Except for the black dagger-nails, she has foregone the diva-like glam for this family hang.
The camera pans to a magazine rack overflowing with issues of W, Glamour and PEOPLE featuring RiRi on the cover. The Fenty family is obviously proud of its most famous member. Ri dispenses some worthwhile advice to her little brother Rajad, telling him to "do work, then socialize. Work first, and when you're doing fantastic at work, you can socialize as much as you want." Spoken like a big sis who knows best. Ri's mom then chimes in, "From Monday to Friday, no Facebook … only textbook." We're like flies on the wall at Casa di Rihanna.
The video closes with RiRi gifting her Gran Gran with a Cartier ring. She even asks, "Will you marry me?" It's precious, and an intimate look at a side of Rihanna we aren't privy to very often.
Watch Rihanna at Home With Family


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The problem starts with the people, the goverment is suppose to represent the people.
They should take care of dogs, learn about them, not fund breeding unknown dogs, and not to throw them to the streets.
Lower the amount of dogs in the streets, make people love animals and know how to take care of them, and most of the issues will be solved.


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Dana Norman, a junior biology major and Spanish minor from Deer Park, N.Y., became the newest member of the Xi Delta Chapter of Sigma Delta Pi, the national Spanish Honor Society at St. Bonaventure University.
The induction was held April 30. Chapter adviser is Leigh Simone of the Department of Modern Languages.
Application forms, procedures and additional information
There are many ways to experience
St. Bonaventure for yourself
Learn more about the programs that interest you


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Friday, August 21, 2009
Thoughts From the 2nd Preseason Game
The offensive line is doing a great job pass blocking. I'm not sold on their run blocking yet but they were going against the Titans defense so I'll give them a break for now. What I love the most is how comfortable Tony Romo is in the pocket because he has trust that his line will get it done.
Felix Jones is the big play guy in the offense without a doubt. He took a short pass and broke it for a 42 yard gain. He is the only guy on the offense that can go the distance on any play. And he can do it running wide, running between the tackles, or catching the ball. He is the one guy who will keep the defense honest.
The starting defense looked good but not great. I like the way the run defense looks but I still have concerns about the coverage of the secondary. Mike Jenkins seems to be a guesser and was repeatedly beaten deep because he was looking in the backfield and trying to get a break on the short passes. Terence Newman looked very good coming off of his injury and was the best tackler on the starting defense. Anthony Spencer looked better and had a quarterback pressure but I still want to see more from him. The reserves looked better too but I think it had more to do with the poor quarterbacking of Vince Young than anything else.
Special teams is still a problem. I'm waiting for the genious of Joe DeCamillis to show up on the field. Matt MacBriar is back to his old form, but Folk and the coverage units need major improvement before the season starts. I don't know why the Cowboys can't tackle on special teams but somehow they need to improve. They seem to get in position to keep the returns short but then can't break down and wrap up to bring the returner down. DeAngelo Smith should not return any punts in a real game this year. He can't be trusted to catch the ball.
What can the Cowboys do to reduce the number of penalties? They always seem to come at the worst time. I don't know if it is a lack of focus or what but it sure is irritating.
Anyone who thinks Jon Kitna will ever take the starting job from Tony Romo is an idiot. Kitna is clearly better than Brad Johnson, but there is a big drop off in talent when he takes over. I think he can fill in for a few games but the team is in trouble if Romo goes down this year. Kitna does throw a better ball on the fade than Romo but that is about it. For some reason Romo just can't get that pass down.
Kevin Ogletree is the 5th receiver. I don't care what happens from this point forward. Ogletree won the job tonight. Stanback is a great athlete but he has never shown ability as a receiver. Ogletree already has done more in two preseason games than we have ever seen from Stanback.
And the best news once again...no major injuries. Brandon Williams hurt his knee but I'm not counting on him being healthy at this point. I would love to see the Cowboys make it to the regular season with all of their key players at 100%. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
3 comments:
Romo looked like he was in total control. The way he handled himself at the line and the great 10 - 15 yard passes.ReplyDelete
All of our wr's looked good except for Miles Austin. I think Hurd and Ogletree will be the 3rd and 4th wr's. Austin will make the team because of his physical attributes.
I think our defense looked good but not great. I think they need to get better at the blitz. Sometimes they send 6 or 7 and can't get anywhere passed the o-line.
You are 100% right about the special teams. When are they going to start looking good? They still need an answer at punt returner, I don't think Crayton is the guy.
Does anyone else think Jerry is being a little stubborn by not raising the huge video board? Just raise it a little and it won't be a problem ever again. It was suppose to be a showcase of the best building in the world, but it got overshadowed by a really high punt.
- AnonymousAugust 22, 2009 at 11:42 AM
1st Jerry needs to raise the big azz TV! LOL...2nd once again Felix is a beast and Romo doesn't have TO in his head! I love the offensive weapons. I think Crayton will be open a lot. I think M. Bennett will make a lot of 1st downs on 3rd down plays if they do 2TE's. If we keep the penalties at a minimal we will be very good on offense.............Now defense....Like always we need to tackle better and cover better....the pressure on the QB will be good. I think Keith Brooking will be good this yr, and upgrade from Zack Thomas. I love our LB's! GO COWBOYS!!!! -Atl_CowboyReplyDelete
- AnonymousAugust 22, 2009 at 12:34 PM
I don't think Jerry minds a bit that the video board is getting talked about all across the league. Any press is good press in this case. I completely agree that Ogletree has shown more already at receiver than Stanback ever has. Something tells me Austin is primed for his own breakout during the regular season though. I was really hoping the mental errors in the secondary would decrease. Oh well. It is preseason. I'm also pleasantly surprised that our offense is still a big play offense. That really plays to Romo's strengths and it didn't seem to hurt our advantage at tailback either. I'm optimistic!ReplyDelete


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Both Sides Now: Caring for an HIV-Negative Partner
This article first appeared on PositiveLite.com, Canada's Online HIV Magazine, on Jan. 6, 2014.
I've never really been a high-maintenance patient myself. Only the odd hospital stay here and there, the odd bouts of depression and anxiety which have largely dissipated as the years dragged on since my diagnosis in 1993. I've put on a brave face since day one. No practical things I couldn't do myself either -- although that's not to say I haven't played the patient card on occasion. No more cleaning of fish tanks for me, no dealing with kitty litter, for instance but that was more because I disliked doing these chores rather than any perceived health hazard, but better to be safe than sorry, right? *wink wink*
During this time, though, I've had one fear I've seldom voiced: as HIV itself becomes a manageable condition and one that with a bit of luck won't intrude much on life expectancy, how would I cope with another condition, another health issue on top of HIV? Now that shouldn't be hugely threatening -- many people deal with this daily -- but to me it has always seemed a disturbing prospect. How could I cope with a cancer diagnosis for instance? Cope well? I somehow doubt it.
So when the cancer diagnosis befell not me but my otherwise healthy partner, he who has shared my bed for nigh on thirty-three years, it was a bit more than the usual blow. Not that the prognosis was necessarily grim -- prostate cancer after all is more often than not eminently treatable -- but I've felt uncomfortable about issues involving mortality (mine and his) for decades.
More practically speaking, I've never really played the part of a caregiver, quite the reverse in fact. Because there is no denying that however non-invasive a condition HIV can be in 2014, it alters the dynamics of relationships to no end. It's inevitable that in a serodiscordant relationship one partner is the healthy capable one, the other somehow feeling damaged and needing care, even if that care is slight.
This all changed with my partner's recent operation to have his prostate removed. It has been a sobering experience.
The operation which happened just before Christmas was the culmination of a months-long series of doctor's visits, test and procedures which my partner -- skilled at coping with almost anything that life throws at him -- sailed through as if they were all just a minor inconvenience. But as the days to the operation shortened it became increasingly clear that the surgery would be fairly invasive, that there would be a longish period of recovery and that he would need help. Driving and lifting would all be out of the question for weeks, and there was talk of bed rest, catheters and other yucky medical stuff I won't go into here.
The day of the operation was a sobering experience. My partner was less calm than usual (I would have been terrified) and the wait while they get you ready to be finally wheeled into the operating room was pretty excruciating for both of us. I cried quietly when he disappeared through those green doors, already primed with tubes and godknowswhat sticking out of his arms. He looked more helpless than I'd ever seen him before.
Six hours later when I finally saw him after surgery he looked more helpless still.
He was barely awake and not very communicative, still recovering from the anaesthetic after an almost three hour operation. His doctor told me that it was likely the operation was successful, although tests would truly determine if all the cancer had been got at. But to be honest, what struck me most about the moment was that a healthy looking, confident, over-achieving man had in a matter of hours been transformed to the ultimate in vulnerability -- a pale, near lifeless form curled in a fetal position, connected to oxygen and a battery of machines draining, pumping and monitoring who knows what. Helpless. I felt helpless too.
And so began his convalescence. He's home now and doing quite well but I am firmly in the caregiver's seat -- preparing his meals, doing those chores he would normally do, driving him around and just being supportive and there for him in his weakened condition. He's still pale and tires easily, but he gets stronger every day, eats more every day and if his colour hasn't returned yet, I'm sure it will soon.
Why I didn't entertain the prospect that this might happen I don't know. He's a year older than me after all and it's becoming abundantly clear to both of us that aging is no bowl of cherries, HIV or no HIV.
What does it feel like to be a caregiver, something I thought I'd never be? Tiring for one, but unexpectedly satisfying. I actually like looking after him, which blunts the pain of what might otherwise be a stressful situation. And he is incredibly grateful and acknowledging of what I do. I like that. We are closer for it.
I like less that it has brought mortality issues to the fore -- for both of us -- and also to some extent the nature of my own condition. I've coped well with HIV, but could I cope additionally with what he's just gone through? I wish I could say yes.
But isn't this a question that many of us HIVers will face? Originally it was all about us, and that was kind of comfortable while it lasted. But it may not be anymore. Sooner or later we'll likely be faced with caring for our partners, our relatives, our parents, our friends. That's something that many long-term survivors who lost a partner in the early days of the epidemic know all about, but I and many like me don't. I don't find it a comfortable prospect at all.
Of course our AIDS Service Organizations, most of whom have become increasingly out of touch with almost everything relevant to people living with HIV, are ignoring the prospect of people with HIV increasingly becoming caregivers themselves. ASOs, never the most farsighted of entities, badly need to reconnect with the real needs, emotional and physical of those living with HIV who are not ill themselves but caring for the ill.
In the meantime we cope. For some being a caregiver will add meaning to life, along with the chores and the yuckiness. I think it has added richness to mine, albeit a richness I would rather do without. But my partner is getting better and that's a good feeling. Of course who eventually becomes the other's caregiver is still up for grabs! But I'm practiced in the art of ignoring what I dislike thinking about and that failing will serve me well in this instance, I think.
Life goes on and so does mine. And thankfully so does that of my partner.
Follow Bob on Twitter @ruraltweeter.
Read Bob's blog, Northern Lights.


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