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Tuesday 29 September 2009
El Bulli, Costa Brava
A lot of people will tell you that Ferran Adrià, head chef at El Bulli, is a genius. For what it's worth, I think he probably is, but being a mere mortal myself it's quite a hard call to make. You see, that's the problem with genius - you almost need to be a genius yourself to recognise it in others, at least before the ideas and innovations developed by said genius become mainstream, and until they do you're more likely to be baffled or frustrated (or even worse, cursed with jealousy, Salieri-like) than, well, really actually enjoy much of it.
Consider the Beatles. Widely accepted as the greatest rock and roll band of all time, in eight short years they grew from exciting and innovative rock performers to wildly inventive studio technicians through to assured and mature crafters of clever and literate pop albums. There would be few that would argue that The Beatles (or at least Lennon and McCartney, and towards the end Harrison) were geniuses in the traditional sense - they literally invented new ways of thinking about and performing music, and their songs are stamped into the world's musical consciousness in the same way as Mozart and Beethoven. But have you listened to the White Album recently? It's one third brilliant and listenable (Blackbird, While My Guitar Gently Weeps, Dear Prudence), one third challenging and experimental, but still just about accessible (Happiness Is a Warm Gun, Julia, Glass Onion) and one third bizarre, unlistenable trash (Wild Honey Pie, Why Don't We Do It In The Road?, Revolution 9). Even today it's quite hard going; God knows what they made of it in 1968. I remember my father telling me the first time he heard I'm Only Sleeping (from the album Revolver) that it was so odd with its false endings and backwards cymbals and dreamy vocals that he couldn't believe anyone could ever enjoy it. Of course now it's a seminal moment in psychedelic pop and a thoroughly good listen. When you experiment so freely, some stand the test of time and some don't. I refer you to Revolution 9.
But back to the present, and to a small restaurant at the end of a precipitous coastal road 15 minutes out of the seaside resort of Rosas in north-east Spain. It is a lovely spot, in common with much of this stretch of coastline, and the restaurant makes the most of it by serving "canapés" and "cocktails" on a very attractive terrace overlooking the bay. I use the quotation marks deliberately, because these are not canapés or cocktails as you would know them. Our "Caipirinhas" and "Mojitos" were actually short stems of sugar cane soaked in alcohol and sprinkled with salt and sugared lime peel and mint - you chew on the cane and the liquid squeezes out into your mouth very satisfyingly. It was innovative and refreshing and very enjoyable. It was also probably the most normal thing we ate or drank all evening.
I won't go into detail on all the canapés but let me take just one initial example from the selection. In the foreground of the shot above are what look like normal, fresh, juicy strawberries. And indeed they were at one time, until El Bulli saw fit to inject the inside of them with something very very salty. So what we end up with is... salty strawberries. Which tasted pretty horrible, actually. Did I just not 'get' it? Will we all be eating salty fruit in a few years time and I'll look back on the time I thought they were horrible and laugh? Is salty fruit Adrià's I'm Only Sleeping or his Revolution 9?
And so the evening wore on, and we were reseated in the restaurant proper inside. After sucking on some flower heads (which contained a lovely hibiscus 'nectar' inside), we were presented with what looked like a big block of white soap. We were instructed to 'use the paper' to eat it, which turned out to be a largely useless bit of advice as it was so fragile it almost collapsed on contact. So I buried my face into it and came back with a mouthful of what tasted mostly like coconut soap. Not actively disgusting, and you have to admire the technical skill in making such a light 'sponge', but really, this was not a pleasant thing to eat. It was bland and soapy and weird.
Far better was the next course, a miso sponge which took what was presumably the same technique and applied it to a savoury ingredient. It was rich in umami and very prettily presented. As was a slice of fried chicken skin doused in a chicken stock reduced and concentrated so much it was like eating a stock cube. But in a good way.
Truffles presented two ways didn't do much for me - great big shavings of real truffle but they were cold and one had a strange gloopy mushroomy... thing inside it which was quite off-putting. And the next course was another pretty horrible one. Chervil 'tea' - which was as far as I can tell just liquidized chervil, served in a metal bowl and looking like drained bile in a hospital kidney dish. It was unseasoned and unsettling.
Next, a little bowl of very tasty sesame-flavoured raw (I think, or at least very very lightly cooked) prawns. These were actually really nice - fun to eat and with bags of seafood flavours, but they were accompanied by a mouthful of sea anemone and caviar which didn't really taste of much. Quite an achievement for caviar.
The next course was almonds presented a number of different ways - ice cream, jelly, whole, etc. They were fine, tasted like cold almond bits. But with it was a huge lump of incredibly salty mango. Now I'm not the biggest fan of mango at the best of times, but just like the salty strawberries this was inedible - unnecessarily, pointlessly experimental for the sake of experiment.
It may seem like I'm dwelling unnecessarily on the unpleasant items and skimming over the nice bits, but this was pretty much how it went all evening. A dish or an element of a dish that tasted great and looked attractive was very often accompanied or shortly followed by something bizarre or unpleasant. Take this one for example:
Here we have four gorgeous, fresh, raw cockles with a couple of slicks of vermouth reduction and beautifully cooked crispy fennel. And there, lurking in between the seafood, are two pieces of preserved kumquat which were so unbelievably sour it was like chomping down on a raw lemon. Why?
Next, soy done a number of different ways, which we were instructed to eat from left to right. This was really interesting actually, and on the whole fairly tasty - kind of like a journey through the land of soy. I liked the crunchy beany and sprouty bits and I liked the slicks of umami-rich paste. Didn't think much of the ice cream, which was pretty bland and there was too much of it, but other than that I was happy.
The next course was very nearly successful. A gorgeous looking arrangement of rose petals was described as an 'artichoke heart', and did indeed taste a little bit like that vegetable. But it was too bitter for my liking - these were after all raw rose petals - and underwhelming all said and done.
This cute little 'apple sandwich' was a highlight. The fruit was twisted and pulled in all different directions, forming a crunchy salsa and a gloopy jus as well as the 'bread' of the sandwich itself (presumably some sort of clever freeze-drying method). It may seem a bit too clever for its own good but this one went down really well. I don't mind them messing about too much if it actually tastes any good. Fun, too.
Next was another very strong dish. We were told to dip these three little bags filled with different presentations of pine nuts into the bowl of passion fruit soup and eat it immediately. The flavours and textures here were lovely - the soft, earthy nuts and rich sweet fruit matched perfectly and it was again great fun to eat.
This shell was filled with raw chopped oysters, mushrooms and God knows what else but tasted fantastic - in fact I'd say this was probably my favourite course of them all. I wouldn't normally like anyone messing with oysters but the mushrooms added an interesting earthy extra dimension to the briny shellfish and was incredibly successful.
These huge local prawns were very cleverly presented - raw bodies but with the legs and head somehow drawn up to the top and deep-fried. You could eat the whole thing, and the crunchy legs contrasted with the squishy flesh of the body.
Parmesan Ravioli was not entirely unpleasant, just a bit pointless. The flavour combinations were, for a change, subtle and the textures pleasantly balanced - the ravioli themselves contained a creamy parmesan sauce and burst in the mouth. Nice plate, too.
The next course was one I'd been dreading - Rabbit Offals - but turned out to be almost verging on conventional. At least the bits of rabbit were all cooked - very well too, I might add - and all slipped down very well like a very meaty bruschetta. Ironically, two of my friends on the same table had at the start of the meal opted not to go down the offal route and were instead served a genuinely disgusting course of baby squids ballooned with squid ink served with a foie gras foam. They were bitter and repellent, the ink coating your mouth like thick black bile.
Fortunately, the mysteriously titled 'Hunt' was far more straightforward. Juicy, tasty and well-cooked venison in a thick jus was served alongside a few little jellied sour berries (cranberries?) covered in gold leaf. It looked and tasted delicious.
Our next course was a small glass bowl with a thin layer of ice that somehow cleverly floated inside the rim of the bowl. It was sprinkled with green tea powder and brown sugar, and you ate it by cracking off bits of the ice with your spoon. I'm also pretty sure the ice itself was flavoured with peppermint. Technically impressive, and great fun to eat.
And then, just as it seemed the meal was settling down and being consistently if not great than at least edible, a giant dinosaur egg arrived. It turned out to be coconut milk 'cooked' on the inside of a balloon using liquid nitrogen, and was certainly a sight to behold. But - much like the coconut soap at the start of the meal - it didn't really taste of anything other than unsweetened coconut ice-cream, which is not something I'd normally choose to eat. I didn't eat much of it.
This dish of freeze-dried summer berries wrapped in a sort of flavoured rice paper was really great - bursting with fruity flavours and containing a bewildering array of textures that still managed to combine well. But that was swiftly followed by:
...this supposedly 'humorous' course of cockle shells filled with fruit ice cream served with yet more inedibly sour preserved fruit.
And that, more or less, was it. We were ushered out onto the beautiful front terrace for a final time and listened to the waves crashing onto Cala Montjoi as we stuffed as many of the house chocolates down our necks as we could. It was a meal that is almost impossible to make sense of, or make any decisions about. I was fretting about writing it up from the moment, during the canapés, that it became obvious that I would not enjoy everything put in front of me that evening. Some of it was great, certainly. And the service was sparkling - all evening attentive and discreet, friendly without being matey and pitch-perfect in every regard. But it seems that now, little under a week later, it's the really nasty moments that I remember rather than the highlights. If Adrià is a genius, then perhaps this meal was his White Album, mixing in equal parts the sublime, the experimental and the downright wrong. The Beatles made that album shortly after the death of their manager Brian Epstein, and it is a body of work that exists largely due to the absence of his sensible, commercial sensibilities. If I could have taken out the dishes I hated and left in the ones I liked, perhaps I would have enjoyed the evening more. But then, that's not my decision to make. I'm not the genius.
I'll leave you with one final thought. One of our canapés at the start of the meal was the famous Spherical Olives. Sort of an olive made of olive, a delicate membrane containing a thin sauce, they burst delicately in the mouth and give forth the most incredible concentrated olive flavour. Just the right mix of technical know-how, playful innovation and command of flavour, they have become a symbol of the kind of food El Bulli is lauded for creating. But they were first served a few years ago now, and it's hard to imagine anything else we were served this visit becoming a classic in the El Bulli canon. The Spherical Olives were perhaps being served at a time when the ambitions of the kitchen and the conventions of Western cuisine met at just the right time to produce food which was not only technically stunning but also accessible and, most importantly, tasty. If the White Album marked the point where the Beatles' cohesion and self-discipline were breaking down, then perhaps the same can be true of El Bulli today. But then, perhaps this is a necessary transition. After all, the Beatles went on to make Abbey Road. Will I be back to El Bulli? It's almost a relief to say I probably won't get the chance.
Thursday 17 September 2009
69 Colebrook Row and Paul A. Young chocolates
A few days ago, Timeout London announced the results of their Eating & Drinking Awards 2009. Like most of these 'best of' awards it's a mixture of the bafflingly arbitrary and downright predictable - there are very few people I know who would argue that the brilliant Harwood Arms shouldn't have won Best New Gastropub this year, but Lola Rojo on Northcote Road for best Spanish Restaurant over any of the Brindisa joints? Last time I went to Lola Rojo I paid £10 for a very odd plate of potato soufflés and tomato foam which they laughably called 'patatas bravas'. It was like tapas re-imagined by someone who'd applied to work at El Bulli but was rejected for being too pointlessly experimental.
But it's the choice of Best Bar that, perhaps inevitably, causes the most controversy. The crucial difference in bars as opposed to restaurants is that you can get pretty much the complete experience just popping in for 15 minutes and ordering a martini, whereas you can't really say you've 'eaten at' a restaurant unless you've sat down to a three course meal over a few hours. So whichever criteria you consider to be the most important in a bar (décor, clientele or the way the barman twists his lemon peel), it's likely you have the budget to visit far more of them in the space of a year than you can mid to high-end restaurants. And more customers means more opinion. And more opinion means more controversy.
And there ends my disclaimer for the decision behind this year's Timeout Best Bar, because I really can't see what the judges saw in 69 Colebrook Row. It's perfectly good, of course - a tiny little neighbourhood bar, a well stocked drinks cabinet and staff who if not experts are at least fairly competent. But it was when I saw the barman timidly pouring out a shot of gin into a little metal measuring cup before dumping it in the shaker that I knew this could never be up there with the best of them. The drinks, too, were timid - a bland house martini using Martini Extra Dry and a cerignola olive instead of the far more tasty combination of Noilly Prat and a twist of lemon, and a champagne cocktail which omitted the usual angostura-soaked sugar cube and brandy for a subtle floral note. Maybe it's just that I'm not a Tony Conigliaro fan; I was similarly nonplussed with the praised heaped upon the Shochu Lounge beneath Roka on Charlotte Street - when everyone was talking about molecular mixology all I noticed was overfussy and overpriced fruit cocktails. Or maybe I'm just far more difficult to please these days. I blame Rules.
That said, at £7 a drink you don't have too much to complain about, and it was still a perfectly pleasant way to whet our whistles before an evening tasting the world's finest chocolate at Paul A. Young. An ebullient, endlessly entertaining man, Paul survived longer than most in the kitchens of Marco Pierre White's various restaurants before setting up his own artisan chocolaterie. Everything is handmade using literally the finest chocolate the world has to offer and last night was kind enough to invite a group of food bloggers to try some of his latest creations in his tiny shop on Camden Passage.
To go through every different type of chocolate we ate last night wouldn't make particularly interesting reading, but it was extraordinary how what are essentially the same three varieties of cocoa beans (Criollo, the most sought after and most expensive, Trinitario, widely used, and Foresero which makes up the bulk of the big manufacturer's output) can be combined in such a way to produce such remarkably different end products. My favourite was a 70% dark chocolate called Toscano Black from Italian producer Amedei - fruity foretastes combined with a rich butteryness at the back of the mouth; a very satisfying tasting experience. Paul also let us try some of his signature truffles and ganaches, including the award-winning (and heart-meltingly wonderful) salty caramel truffle, the shocking marmite-flavoured (yes, really) truffle and the even more experimental but nonetheless successful port and stilton. Hey, don't knock it 'till you've tried it. They are also the first people outside the US to stock Tcho artisan chocolate from San Francisco, who arrange their dark chocolate into flavour groups such as 'citrus' and 'earthy'.
We were shown around the tiny (albeit spotless and immaculately organised) kitchens where all the chocolates are hand made every morning, and Paul proudly showed off some of the amazing chocolate leaves he's made (using moulds crafted from actual leaves) for a special autumn window display. He also gave us a sneak preview of his next project - recreating a mayan ceremonial skull using tiny squares of alternating black and milk chocolate. It promises to be spectacular. Paul will also want me to mention his new book, Adventures with Chocolate, out on October 8th published by Kyle Cathie, which is the least I can do in return for such a fascinating and enjoyable evening. Many thanks to Paul and his crew for making it happen, and consider me your latest chocolateer.
69 Colebrook Row 7/10
Apologies for the lack of chocolate pictures - I was snapping away but if there's one thing the iPhone is singularly incapable of photographing it's small dark objects in a dark room. I will edit the post with proper pictures ASAP.
Thursday 10 September 2009
Rules, Covent Garden
Looking back now, to those bleak, monochrome days before I ate the Rules grouse, I suppose I wasn't quite sure what to expect. I had high hopes, of course, mainly thanks to Simon Majumdar and his giddy tour of the kitchens a few weeks back, and was also looking forward to trying the cocktails in the (still relatively new) Rules Bar upstairs. But it seemed like an odd venue - I was worried that, sitting on the reputation as London's Oldest Restaurant and therefore able to suck in enough heritage-starved American tourists and blousy Old Boys to keep the profits ticking over through good times and bad, that Rules didn't actually need to be any good at all. And, it goes without saying, very few of the places that don't need to be good actually, well, are. I was worried it would be staid, overpriced, stuffy, stifling and stressful. In the end, it was none of those things, and in fact turned out to the most wonderful evening I've enjoyed in a very long time.
Events began in the dark-panelled, carpeted luxury of the upstairs bar, and with the creation of a drink called the Golden Negroni. Like all good cocktails, there was that balance of familiar comforting flavours and just a hint of the mysterious. Apparently lurking in it somewhere was a touch of Poire William. It was remarkably easy to drink. While waiting for various members of our party to arrive, I was invited to sit at the bar itself and watch the mixing of my next order up close. Called the Edge, it contained fresh grated horseradish and tasted of cosy evenings in front of a log fire. Perhaps not very seasonal, but delicious nonetheless.
After an hour or so of blissful contentment which passed as if it was five minutes, it was time to move downstairs and take our seats for dinner. With its high ceilings and walls covered in memorabilia and paraphernalia, Rules feels every one of its 211 years old. How nice, though, to be in a restaurant that has gathered its mementos and photographs honestly and gradually over many years, instead of buying them all at once in a bid to invent an illustrious past like so many gastropubs. This is a place with real history, and a confidence in its own reputation as a London dining destination. And we were about to find out why.
My starter was Morecambe Bay potted shrimps, one of my favourite comfort foods at the best of times, but here, thanks to Rules' use of lobster butter to bind the sweet crustaceans together, it took on a new, luxurious identity. I will admit that my knowledge of potted shrimp was previously limited to the little plastic pots you can buy at foodie markets, but even so, these were lovely. And although my dish came on the back of a recommendation from His Maj, the standards of the other starters on our table were equally high - in particularly a gorgeous dressed crab with a perfectly balanced brown meat mix.
And then the grouse. It will give you an idea of how very reasonable the prices are in this restaurant when I tell you that this labour-intensive, hand caught game bird was at only £27.50 the most expensive item on the Rules menu last night. But in this blogger's humble opinion, the experience it delivered was close to priceless. Served with crispy bacon, some duck liver paté on toast and the traditional game chips, the only slightly unusual element was a few sprigs of highland heather protruding from the back of the bird. And yet almost before the first bite of the gorgeously pink, moist meat had reached my lips, I knew this was going to be something special. The smell - oh, lordy, the smell - it was of open countryside, highland moors and healthy living. It was an aroma that did more than simply get the taste buds going, it assaulted my emotions directly, whisking me back to childhood trips to Cumbria and of long walks on hot summer's days. And it was no less affecting in the mouth - to call the flavour "gamey" is to not even touch the surface of how extraordinarily, wonderfully powerful the flavour of this little bird was - a deep, rich flavour like no other animal I've ever tasted. I ate in stunned, intense silence, methodically pulling every bit of the carcass apart and savouring every last morsel of offal from inside and out. Later in the evening I caught a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror; I had grouse blood splattered down the front of my white shirt and looked like Sweeney Todd after a particularly busy day. I was so overwhelmed I hadn't even noticed at the time.
After dinner, we moved back upstairs once again and allowed Brian Silva, the head barman, to gently bring us down from our game-fuelled high with a plate of Colton Basset stilton and Pedro Ximines dessert sherry. We chatted happily across the bar and drank wonderful cocktails until we were the last people in the room. It was a magical evening, one of those nights where every element of every bite and slurp brings joy and each moment slides blissfully into the next. But it was the grouse that was the star of an evening not short of highlights. That I recommend Rules as a restaurant should by now be obvious - you absolutely, positively have to go, and soon, before the season is over. It's just too good to miss.
Wednesday 9 September 2009
Maze, Mayfair
It was the best of meals, it was the worst of meals. In fact in the end, it wasn't quite either, it was just maddeningly, bewilderingly inconsistent, and giving an overall score to a sequence of small dishes, 50% of which were excellent and 50% horrible, served half in daylight and half in increasing pitch blackness, accompanied by service that veered between winningly professional and laughably incompetent, will prove quite a challenge. Let's see how we do.
First of all, the traditional Ramsay velouté starter. Perfectly pleasant, with a miniscule amount of lobster meat but with an interesting if not wholly successful cold parmesan ice cream thingy (OK, a "parfait"). As with so many of Ramsay's sub-3* dishes, it's admirable if not entirely loveable. A bit like the man himself, in fact.
The first proper course was a neat little row of marinated beetroot and cheese constructions. These were pretty good for a vegetarian dish - the sharpness of the marinated veg was balanced nicely with the rich cheese and pine nuts added some pleasant texture. Nothing too extraordinary though.
Up next, the famous Maze signature dish of an ironic 'BLT' - that is, tomato gelée, bacon onion cream and lettuce velouté. An ambitious dish (just look at the recipe) and one with a weight of expectation behind it, I'm afraid I was slightly underwhelmed. It was fine, just absolutely nothing more than you might think cold tomato jelly, bacon bits and lettuce soup would taste like. The best bit, in fact, was the accompanying croque monsieur, which was a perfectly balanced and strongly flavoured cheese and ham toastie. And who doesn't like a cheese and ham toastie?
So, from the ridiculous to the sublime. The next course of pork belly, pig's head, crackling and jasmine tea was a pleasingly powerful mix of flavours and textures. The jasmine "tea", in particular, was as good a sauce I have had for a very long time, rich and satisfying with an incredibly deep, complex flavour. The pork belly was slightly on the chewy side but tasted good enough, and the crackling was delicate and fun to eat. I can only apologise for the photo, my poor iPhone by this time battling with the bizarre compulsion of the staff to turn the house lights down every ten minutes. I should also mention that a vegetarian dining companion had by this time been served a full four out of five dishes garnished with pea shoots. If you are a vegetarian and want to eat at Maze, you'd better like pea.
So from the sublime, back to the ridiculous. Roasted Anjou pigeon was a disappointingly stringy cut of breast meat (I nearly pulled a muscle trying to cut the damn thing up), with a wobbly skin and an overly sharp red wine sauce. Sadly, that wasn't the worst thing about it though. Through the murk of the restaurant lighting (they had turned them down again) I noticed an ominous black blob of something very dark perched on top of the pigeon breast. Thinking it would be some sort of marinated fruit or braised vegetable, I popped it in my mouth. My stomach instantly heaved in reaction to a huge blob of bitter chocolate, sickly and overwhelming and completely unsuitable in this amount to the rest of the dish. Even if the pigeon had been good quality (it wasn't) or cooked well (it wasn't), the baffling addition of half a pound of raw 70% chocolate as a 'garnish' to this meat was a complete disaster. Adding a small amount of chocolate to liven up a red wine sauce or chilli con carne is perfectly acceptable. Dumping such a relatively huge amount onto a dish such as this (bearing in mind these are all small tasting plates) is a frankly unforgivable mistake. Awful.
Unbelievably, the house lights dropped yet again before the arrival of the pre-dessert, which was a lovely shot of lemon sorbet sat on top of an incredibly strongly flavoured lime and passion fruit jelly. Served with it was a perfectly moist almond financier (cake). I was beginning to feel dizzy by this point, and it wasn't just because I couldn't see the floor. How could the same kitchen that considered it acceptable to turn out that chocolate pigeon monstrosity also produce such an interesting and exciting dessert?
The final course was served in near-darkness. The ironically-titled "peanut butter and cherry jam sandwich" was nothing of the sort, it was just a pleasant combination of peanut-flavoured ice cream and cherry jam and sorbet. I would like to tell you it was presented well, but I could hardly see it - I just blindly hacked away in front of me with my spoon until it eventually came back empty. It tasted fine, but as the saying goes we eat with our eyes first, and if I wanted to dine in the dark I would have booked elsewhere.
I will also say a word about our waiters. The front of house was professional and sharp, and the sommelier friendly and helpful. But in between periods of excellent service was an incident where a member of our table (I wasn't drinking, for a change) was shown his empty wine bottle and asked (actually more like mumbled) something about wanting another one. This was, bear in mind, well after we had finished our last savoury course. Given a firm no, he slunk off, then another member of staff immediately returned and poured nearly a full glass of wine out of what suspiciously looked like the same "empty" bottle. Now, I wouldn't suggest for a moment they had swapped the bottles to make it look empty the first time, but even so the implication, without us being asked to examine the bottle closely, was that it was empty. And I wonder - had we had said yes to another bottle when first asked, would that final glass from the first bottle have mysteriously disappeared?
The final insult, as is sadly so often the case, was the bill. I had barely more than a sniff of our single bottle of wine between the three of us, from the lower end of the wine list, and we only ate the "recommended" number of dishes - that is, 7 small plates of food each. And yet the bill came to nearly £100 per person. This is too way much to feel like good value when there are such glaring errors in the cooking. Perhaps, if you went every day for a couple of weeks and worked your way through the myriad of dishes you'd eventually be able to construct a flow of their best offerings and be able to enjoy a reasonably consistent evening. But by that time not only would you still only have a solid single Michelin-star meal but you'd have permanently damaged your eyesight and be about £1000 worse off. So your best bet is just to go to one of the many other much better restaurants in this price range. And that, sad to say, is pretty much all of them.
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TechRadar Verdict
A great Blu-ray system which oozes style. It's nice and simple to set up and although speaker position takes a while, the sound is solid and engaging
- +
Fabulous Blu-ray player
- +
- +
Iconic style
- +
- -
Speaker position takes work
- -
No networking
Why you can trust TechRadar
I have always fancied a dodecahedron in the living room, but I confess I was thinking perhaps some objet d'art, or even a light fitting, rather than speakers. For it is an irregular 12-sided polygon (and no parrot jokes), upon which the satellite speakers of Pioneer's LX-01BD system is based.
The shape of the speakers comes from the precise angles needed to produce a phantom centre and reflected rear surround field from front-mounted speakers.
Pioneer is aiming this £2,000 system at the slick professional male archetype who would not want to compromise his Conran-inspired bachelor pad décor with speakers the size of VW Beetles or a rogue bolognese of speaker cable spaghetti.
In that respect the LX-01BD comprehensively outclasses its closet rival, Bose's identically-priced Lifestyle V30 system, in almost every respect.
The Pioneer is better looking, produces a much better picture, has Blu-ray rather than a DVD player, offers HD-audio decoding rather than just Dolby Digital, is packed with features and offers much deeper, faster bass.
The rival V30 has two things on its side, of course. Firstly Bose has trademarked the word 'Lifestyle' so it has the right to be officially called a Lifestyle system. Which probably means I can only say that Pioneer's is a system designed for a life full of style.
Secondly, own a V30 and all your friends will say 'Ooooohhhhh, Bose' and think you are cooler than a polar bear's ice lolly. Strange but true.
Mr Speaker
While the four satellites are actually best arranged in a surrounding square (the fronts producing a phantom centre), all four can also be placed up front. In this configuration they use reflected sound from their clever 12-sided joint shape to produce centre and rear effects.
The large but fairly slim subwoofer offers a lot more than it seems, too. Inside its immaculately-finished piano black exterior are six channels of amplification and all the Dolby and DTS format decoding any film fan could want, including the hi-res HD variations.
The Blu-ray player is a lightly disguised Profile 1.1 BDP-LX71, and connects to one of the sub's three HDMI inputs with a single HDMI cable for digital audio and video connections.
A slick-looking remote display handles all you IR interfaces, flashes lights at you at the relevant points and has a blue dot-matrix display to let you know what's going on.
Speakers connect to the sub cabinet with colour-coded push-fit plugs; if you have an iPod there is a docking cable supplied. Add to this Pioneer's excellent MCACC Room EQ and auto-set-up, complete with microphone, and the wicked touch-screen remote control, and you've got a system packed with style.
My first run of the setup, with speakers set on stands towards the room corners and the sub to one side, produced a wow-factor 'up-front' sound with the bass wound up so tight the sub threatened to leave the ground at the first explosion in The Dark Knight. Diving into the menus, I took 5dB from the sub level to regain a sensible neighbour-friendly balance before continuing the film.
Cream of the crop
The picture is typical of Pioneer's latest crop – that's to say, stunning. This is a company that has got Blu-ray player technology by the scruff of the transistors and is happy to show the world. Blacks are inky dark with masses of shadow detail and the colour range will stretch all but the best display devices.
When running 1080p24 frames with The Dark Knight, the picture is an instant summary of all that's groovy about hi-def. The Pioneer's image is razor-sharp, crisp, detailed, scrolls like it's on rails and has a depth you want to step into.
Only Sony's BDP-S5000ES and Pioneer's own BDP-LX91 make really significant improvements over this image – and this from a packaged, all-in-one home cinema system designed to appeal to one's modern 'life style'.
It's no slouch on the sound front either. OK, the audio is not going to touch a mid-priced receiver and serious big-box speaker package for sheer presence and impact, but the spatial spread and clarity is definitely good. Helicopters pass tangibly overhead and the crack of gunfire has a deep, percussive impact.
Dialogue is a little less focused than ideal, but tweaking the centre level pulls speech up to give tighter enunciation and better projection. Wind up the volume and there is something disjointed about the overall soundfield, presumably due to the drivers firing in differing directions. Yes it is spacious and enveloping, but it isn't as cohesive as it could be.
Moving effect
Moving the speakers about changes this effect quite dramatically. Positioning close to a wall, perhaps on the rather swish supplied brackets, firms up the soundstage admirably. The Dark Knight's moody conclusion draws to a close with captivating intensity and plenty of emotion.
The final dialogue is focused while the pacey beat that precedes the titles thumps away with serious room-shaking intensity and speed.
Moving the rear speakers to the front is a surreal feat, not least because it gave me a fit of the giggles. Oh, how many times have I seen perfectly innocent mass-market customers assemble their Dixons-bought budget surround sound system with all the speakers in a line under the TV! Makes me chuckle every time, but now I'm not so sure, as the Pioneer's arrangement actually works – sort of.
The surround sound effect is vague and the result is very dependent on the relative position of side walls and heavy furnishings, but it has got a peculiarly solid feel, far wider and more entertaining than the simple stereo you'll get from your TV's own speakers.
Arranged at the front, the array is definitely at its best near to walls and positioned relatively close together. Initially placed either side of my 2.4m projector screen and less than 50cm from the side walls, the speakers threw the soundstage all over the place and the dialogue was lost somewhere in the neighbour's back garden.
Moving them closer – to around 1m apart – tightens up the dialogue focus and effectively used my evenly-spaced side walls to throw a surround sound effect to both sides of the sofa. Switching back to the helicopter scenes showed the limitations of the system – the movement being an ambient effect rather than a precise location-based one – but the overall balance and punch remains pleasantly potent.
Sophisticated system
The LX-01BD won't give you high-end home cinema thrills, but I just can't deny it does what it aims to do rather well. The picture is excellent and without peer against any similar solution on the market; the sound does the job with more conviction and punch than most.
And the product's real magic lies in its sophisticated integration, low cable count and flexible features. If spousal pressure or a house full of errant kids put a full-size speaker array out of the question, then Pioneer's LX-01BD is the perfect alternative.

subset: commoncrawl


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Description: In the Society, Officials decide how you will live your life. Who you love. Where you work. When you die. All of the decisions are made because the Officials only know what is best for their citizens. Perfection only exists. Aberrations will not be tolerated.
Cassia has always trusted the choices made by the Officials. Who would want to go against the perfect life? When she turns seventeen, she must go through the Matched ceremony, where the Officials arrange her marriage. When her best friend, Xander, appears to be her match, Cassia is relieved to already know her perfect mate...that's until she sees another face flash for an instant before the screen fades to black. Someone she also knows: the mysterious and quiet Ky, who expertly blurs in the crowd. Now Cassia is faced with impossible choices: between Xander and Ky, between the only life she knows and a path no one else has ever dared to follow. Which will she choose?
Review: I really, really enjoyed this book! I started it late Tuesday night and by Wednesday I was already more than half way done with it. I will warn you that when you read this book, you will get sucked in! It is really hard to put this book down. I was completely captivated and couldn't turn the pages fast enough.
To put it simply, Matched is a dystopian romance. I loved the world that Condie created. It seems very gentle in comparison to the brutal world of the Hunger Games series, but it like Collins' series I also found Cassia's world to be disturbing. All of the citizens are dictated in how to live their lives. Choice does not exist, mostly because people either seem to be satisfied on how things are or can't remember on how things use to be. Besides, why ruin something perfect?
Although the book might be considered a 'light dystopian novel' that focuses on romance by many, I personally think this is what makes this book so powerful and thought provoking. The trope of a love triangle is essentially an allegory on how Cassia wants to live her life. If she chooses her best friend, Xander, she chooses the status quo, safety, and consistency. If she chooses Ky, she chooses the unknown and the possible struggles that coming along. I definitely thought of many books such as Huxley's Brave New World, Banchorz's Candor, while reading Matched which for me is a sign of a good book. I especially loved the incorporation of Dylan Thomas' poems into the story. I thought poems brought another complex layer into the storytelling.
Like the world building, I also loved the main characters of Matched. The book is told from Cassia's perspective. She is a teen who is a bit disorientated after taking her rose-colored glasses and seeing her world for the first time. She struggles to follow her heart and logic. Her internal monologue are excellent and I found her explanations of what she does to be really interesting. I found myself asking the same questions that Cassia asks of herself.
Xander seems to be your typical best friend. He is extremely loyal, smart, and yes, handsome. Readers are told repeatedly how he and Cassia know each other so well. I just wished this was shown more than told in the story, which is what I thought was only lacking in the story and hope this will be resolved in the second book.
Ky is a fascinating character. I had a lot of fun learning about him and his past. I haven't made a definite decision in whether to like him more than Xander, but I have a feeling there is more to him than meets the eye.He intrigues me and captures my attention right away whenever he appears on the page.
The passion and tension between Ky and Cassia reminded me of Bella and Edward mostly because the romance between Ky and Cassia is very chaste. Their physical contact is very limited in the book, yet you can feel the heat and tension jumping right out of the book. There are lots of twists and turns in their relationship and I can't wait to see what happens next. Now, I have to patiently wait until the second book to comes out, which is going to be really hard. *Sigh*
Rating: 4.5 stars
Words of Caution: None. I would easily recommend this title to Grades 7 and up.
If you like this book try: Incarceron by Catherine Fisher, Candor by Pam Bachorz, Uglies series by Scott Westerfeld, A Handmaiden's Tale by Margaret Atwood, Brave New World by Alex Huxley, The Adoration of Jenna Fox by Mary Pearson
Fight censorship and celebrate your freedom to read by entering my Speak Giveaway! Click HERE for details! |


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*** Due to the large need for nurses during the coronavirus outbreak, many of the nursing jobs listed below have flexible start dates and assignment lengths. Even if you are unable to start on the designated Start Date, please apply and discuss your availability with a Fastaff recruiter. ***
The Estimated Weekly Total is based on working the listed number hours per week and includes available stipend amounts; eligibility may vary subject to company policy and applicable law. Please contact a recruiter for full details.
Medical Surgical Travel Registered Nurse Job
Adult medical surgical RNs are responsible for managing the care of adult or elderly patients experiencing general medical conditions and surgical procedures. They develop an individualized nursing plan of care and provide patient/family education customized to the adult or elderly patient and his or her family needs.
Medical Surgical RN Qualifications:
- Active RN license in specified state
- RN degree from an accredited registered nurse program
- BLS required
- One year of recent experience as an RN in a medical surgical environment and two years of RN experience
Medical Surgical Registered Nurse Duties & Responsibilities:
- Provide safe and comprehensive nursing care according to state regulations, hospital policy and procedure, and Joint Commission standards
- Demonstrate understanding and utilization of universal precautions, asepsis, and infection control procedures
- Operate and monitor equipment used to monitor and regulate the patient's condition
- Assess the need for patient/family education
Benefits of Being a Fastaff® Travel Nursing Employee
- Premium pay
- Prestigious facilities
- Flexible scheduling
- Immediate access to the industry's best RN recruiters and healthcare facilities
- Fastaff will provide costs for housing during the length of your assignment, as well as airfare or mileage to and from the city of the assignment at the start and end of the assignment.
- Group health insurance benefits
- $10,000 Company-paid Life/ADD Insurance
- Matching 401(k)
About Fastaff® Travel Nursing:
More than two decades ago, Fastaff pioneered the practice of Rapid Response® travel nurse staffing. Since then, the company has grown to become the leading provider of urgent and crucial temporary registered nurses to help hospitals provide continuous, high-quality patient care, while offering premium pay to registered nurses. In partnering with many of the nation's largest and most prestigious healthcare facilities as well as small community hospitals, Fastaff provides enriching employment opportunities to RNs while also providing the highest pay in the industry to meet acute staffing needs and provide unparalleled patient care.
Fastaff Travel Nursing is an equal employment opportunity employer. Fastaff's policy is not to unlawfully discriminate against any applicant or employee on the basis of race, color, sex, religion, national origin, age, military status, disability, genetic information or any other consideration made unlawful by applicable federal, state, or local laws. Fastaff also prohibits harassment of applicants and employees based on any of these protected categories. It is also Fastaff's policy to comply with all applicable state and federal laws respecting consideration of unemployment status in making hiring decisions.
We take great care to ensure that our travel nurses enjoy the freedom to work when they want, where they want, while maintaining the lifestyle they want, in addition to enjoying the excitement of travel nursing and the challenge of new experiences. Learn more


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- description
- videos
- install
- warranty
- reviews
- Makes towing or hauling cargo safer
- Reduces wheel hop & fish-tailing
- increases driver Control
- Never needs to be adjusted
- Simple installation takes less than an hour for most vehicles
- Sold in pairs
- Made in the USA - Carpenteria, CA
When you use your vehicle to haul heavy cargo or tow your camper, boat, or work trailer, your factory leaf springs come under load and flatten out. Driving with your suspension in this position causes your truck to easily sway or wobble, making control difficult. Adding SuperSprings suspension stabilizers will eliminate this condition and put you back in control! As you add load to your rear suspension, these helper springs will be activated through the rollers on each end. This keeps your leaves from flexing as much and prevents excess sway, giving you better control when towing or hauling big loads. SuperSprings simple design "deactivates" automatically when your not hauling or towing since they only come into play as you add tension to your rear suspension. SuperSprings come in several different lengths to fit a variety of different sized leaf springs. They are also made in light, medium, and heavy duty strengths to fit your specific needs. All components are powder coated to protect against corrosion and extend their lifespan. Installation is super simple since there are only a few bolts to tighten on most vehicles and no special tools required. Detailed instructions are included specific to your particular vehicle. You should have no problem getting your new helper springs added in about an hour. Get your self better control and enhance the load carrying capacity, handling and towing of your truck with SuperSprings suspension stabilizers. You can be proud to know they are made in America and come backed by a five year warranty. Go ahead and get yours today!
Brand | SuperSprings |
Installing your SuperSprings suspension stabilizers doesn't require any special training, although an understanding of basic auto maintenance & repair is helpful. Most of these helper springs can be installed in about 30 minutes to 1 hour. Step-by-step instructions ensure you can correctly complete the install safely. if you have any questions or would like additional information regarding this or any other SuperSprings product, simply give one of our customer service representatives a call any day of the week.
SuperSprings warrants to the initial retail or fleet purchaser that its SuperSprings⢠leaf spring suspension stabilizer shall be free of defects in material and workmanship for:
Five (5) years when used in non-commercial applications; or
Two (2) years when used in commercial applications.
This limited warranty extends only to the initial retail or fleet purchaser with respect to use upon the vehicle the product is first installed. The term shall be measured from the date of purchase. SuperSprings⢠reserves the rights to: (a.) require claimantâs proof of purchase as a condition of this limited warranty, (b.) make future revisions to its limited warranty without prior notice. As used herein, âcommercial applicationsâ means any vehicle intended, licensed or used (partially or otherwise) in connection with commerce and shall include but not be limited to âCommercial Motor Vehiclesâ as defined or intended by the U.S. Code of Federal Regulations.
What is Not Covered?
Your warranty does not cover any damage arising or related to any vehicle, product, or component combination other than the SuperSprings⢠suspension stabilizer. Your warranty further does not cover vehicles, products or components supplied by us or others that SuperSprings determines to have been damaged by or subjected to:
- Vehicle use in excess of GVWR combined vehicle weights/ tow ratings or other OEM design
specifications or limitations.
- Normal wear and tear, deterioration of spring shape or rating, alteration or failure to maintain.
Scratches or defects in product finishes (powder coating, paint, etc.) or damage due to shipping.
- Misuse, including products used other than as recommended in the current SuperSprings⢠application guide or the instructions.
- Racing or other vehicle competitions or contests. Accidents, impact by rocks, trees, obstacles or other aspects of the environment.
This limited warranty gives you specific rights. You may also have other rights that vary from state to state. Some states do not allow limitations of how long an implied warranty lasts and /or do not allow the exclusion or limitation of incidental or consequential damages, so the limitations and exclusions herein may not apply to you.


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l.a.Eyeworks salutes the eleven amazing Los Angeles photographers honored in "L8S ANG3LES," the inaugural exhibition at the new Annenberg Space for Photography. From Tim Street-Porter to Catherine Opie, it is a special moment for us to reflect on the amazing artists--and the diversity of visions--we've been privileged to know and work with over the years.
Of course, we're particularly proud to congratulate Greg Gorman on the exhibition. Greg's portraits (more than 200 in all!) for our "A face is like a work of art" campaign are an indelible and cherished part of the l.a.Eyeworks signature.


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written by Jason
With the 2012 Tenkara Summit only a few days away, I'm starting to think of what I'll be taking. Of course, there is the standard clothing, suitcase, fishing gear, Utah fishing license, etc., but I thought it would be useful to put together a list of some less obvious things that might come in handy at the actual summit itself.
- Flies to share or trade. A lot of people have already been talking about bringing their favorite patterns along to share and you should too. It's not only a great way to connect with fellow tenkara anglers, but if you give a fly, you're likely to get one in return. This is a unique opportunity to see what other tenkara anglers are using and to get some design ideas for your own tying.
- An empty fly box with labels. Since it's likely you'll end up with some free flies, the last thing you want is to get home and forgot who gave you what, or what kind of dubbing was used on that one pattern you really want to tie. Bring an empty fly box and labels or small pieces of paper so you can write down who gave you the pattern, its recipe, and any other special notes you want to make about it. You never know, these flies might become collector's items someday!
- Promo items. If you have a blog, bring some stickers, hats, or other promo items to hand out to promote your blog. This is a great way to get the word out about your website and network with readers and other bloggers.
- Business cards. It's a lot easier to hand someone you want to connect with a business card than to scavange around for a pen to write down their name and email on a napkin.
- A pen and notepad. There is going to be a LOT of information given out during the scheduled events and you might want to make a few notes. Plus, you'll probably get lots of free advice from other attendees that would be worth writing down. I'm bringing a small note pad and mini space pen that will easily fit in my pocket. If you don't have business cards, a pen and notepad will also come in handy.
- A real camera. For many of us, this will be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Do you want to come back with dingy iPhone pictures? Bring a real digital camera—one that has video too. You'll be glad you got higher quality pictures–especially if the chance arises to get your photo taken with a celebrity like Dr. Ishigaki!
- A list of questions. The Tenkara Summit is the largest gathering of tenkara experts on Earth and the only place to tap in such a collective body of knowledge on the subject. Don't slap your head when you get home saying, "I should have asked about…" It's a good idea to sit down and write out a list of questions ahead of time to ask the experts. It's probably an even better idea to ask the same question to more than one person, as each might have their own unique perspective.
What else would you suggest bringing to the Summit?
Facebook Comments
8 Responses to A Tenkara Summit Checklist
some good ideas on the list
Hi Jason, I was just reading over info. on the Summit and I was a bit confused on the clinics that require a fee. Which ones do require money and how much $? I can pay on Pay Pal TODAY but im not sure on the basic info.??? Thanks.
Jason you forgot to mention a rod! You are going to get in some fishing while you're there right? 😉
The summit sounds like a blast!Hi Zack. Yes I'll be fishing on Friday. A rod goes without saying!
Throw a wading rain jacket in your bag. We get occasional evening thunder storms this time of year. Not big rain, the storms are usually very short 10-30 min. But if you get caught in the open during one you'll get soaked. These storms do provide some spectacular lightning shows!
Sunscreen is highly recommended we will be fishing at high altitudes and sun damage happens quick here.
One other thing,
BRING CASH FOR LUNCH ON DAY ONE AND DAY 2.That's a good point John. I almost forgot about cash!
Amazing how many things these comments are reminding me to bring. I seem to be making many extra trips to my FJ packing it with more stuff. 😎
Leave a Reply
« Fly Box (Dis-)Organization Tenkara Summit, Salt Lake City Press Release »


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There is a picture going around the Internet I have seen about a dozen times that claims that Israeli teachers are packing heat. Well, are they? The answer is "NO."
There may be some exceptions in dangerous areas like the West Bank (where five percent of Israelis live), but in general, Israeli teachers are not walking around like it's the Wild Wild West, strapped with a six shooter. No, our teachers are not focused on shooting, but educating. That doesn't mean, however, that we don't protect young students.
In the picture, the students are on an outing. While it appears that the teacher is holding a rifle, I have never seen such a thing in ten years of living here. Rest assured however, they are under armed protection. In most cases it is an armed guard or a soldier that will accompany a class, not the teacher. And my guess is that the woman with the gun is a security guard, not a teacher.
Secondly, they are not armed in the classroom. Is that really the image you want to imprint on the minds of six-year-olds? (That would be Hamas). On the other hand, I have never seen a school in Israel that was not fenced in. You must go through a locked gate that is guarded by an armed shomer, a security guard. He or she, on the other hand, is not concerned with educating, but protecting. He or she will ask you why you are there? What is your child's name? Show me your I.D. card. And he or she would not let you bring a weapon inside.
These types of massacres don't seem to happen here for other reasons as well. Despite the stereotype of Israel being a violent nation, it is a million times (slight exaggeration) easier to get a weapon in the U.S. than it is in Israel. Gun control laws are very strict here.
Two types of people have guns in Israel: Soldiers and those with licenses. Mentally unstable people don't have guns—and thus, don't shoot people. And it is not as easy to steal a gun as it is in the U.S. When you are drafted you go through mental tests to see if there are any red flags. If so, you will be discharged or placed in an area where you would never see a rifle.
Only those with the rank of Captain or Lieutenant Colonel for at least two years can qualify to own a gun after the army. And those who do have guns are taught to guard them carefully. For soldiers who take their weapons home, it must be on their person at all times or under lock and key.
Losing a weapon will get you a jail sentence, as my wife's childhood friend, Moti, found out two decades ago. He left his gun in his car because he was just running into a minimart. He came back and the gun was gone. He spent six months in jail and God only knows where that gun ended up.
Hunting is not popular in Israel, so it would be rare to see someone with five or six hunting rifles and therefore, neither would their son, who spends ten hours a day playing mortal combat, have access to them.
We are fond of saying "Guns don't kill people, people do… But we could also say that mentally unstable people who can't obtain assault rifles or even pistols are far less likely to commit mass murder.
Assault rifles are banned in Israel, except in areas where there is a security risk such as the West Bank.
"Unlike in the United States, where the right to bear arms is guaranteed in the Constitution's Second Amendment, Israel's department of public security considers gun ownership a privilege, not a right. Gun owners in Israel are limited to owning one pistol, and must undergo extensive mental and physical tests before they can receive a weapon, and gun owners are limited to 50 rounds of ammunition per year." (jta.org)
I don't think that those who drafted the Second Amendment imagined that those whol feel rejected at school or who were bullied would have access not merely to a musket that fires one bullet at a time before reloading, but to an arsenal of pistols, assault rifles and more, such as in the case of James Holmes, who killed several people earlier this year during a screening of Batman.
I think the amendment was for people like Israelis who live in the West Bank and are under the threat of attack all the time. I am far too ignorant concerning the "Gun Control" issue to give much of an educated opinion. But I don't like people using Israel as an example, sense we make it very difficult to own a gun.
However, I think we should be an example of a country that makes sure that the right people get guns and the wrong people don't. In 2008, an Arab terrorist opened fire in a Yeshiva (school for religious boys) killing eight young men. An off-duty IDF officer grabbed his gun, just as he was putting his kids to bed. He ran out of the house and into the Yeshiva, where he hunted down the terrorist, shooting him before a security guard also put two bullets in his head.
In another incident not long afterwards, a Arab worker went berserk with his bulldozer turning it into a killing machine. Oron Ben Shimon, an armed civilian, jumped onto the bulldozer along with a soldier. Ben Shimon struggled with the terrorist, while the soldier, at Ben Shimon's urging, shot him dead, saving many lives.
Israel's successful gun ownership laws both serve to make sure upstanding, brave and mentally sound citizens have access to guns, and that those who present even a minor threat are prevented from possessing one. It would be a mistake to use Israel as the poster child for more weapons in the U.S., as our success here is much more connected to limiting weapons and enabling strategies such as gates, fences and armed guards (not armed teachers), to protect our children. Sorry to disappoint, but the truth is important.
For the original article, visit messiahsmandate.org.
Ron Cantor is the director and founder of Messiah's Mandate International in Israel, a Messianic Ministry dedicated to taking the message of Jesus from Israel to the ends of the earth (Acts 1:8). In addition, MMI serves as an international teaching ministry to the believing community worldwide, teaching on the Jewish Roots of the faith.


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(CNN) — A woman who tried to beat up her ex-boyfriend's son with a five-pound dumbbell and smother him with a pillow is now facing an attempted murder charge, police in Maryland said Wednesday.
Helen Marie Newsome, 26, broke a home in Landover and hid inside for 10 hours before she attacked the 8-year-old in bed Saturday morning, Prince George's Police Capt. Jimmy Simms said.
"Newsome grabbed a pillow and placed it over the child's face and then began striking him in the head with a weapon," police said in a statement.
The boy fought back and ran away. Police hailed him as a hero on Wednesday.
"Not only does he have the know-how to get away from the danger, but he sees who it is that attacked him and tells the police," he said. "This young boy (is) only 8 years old and fought back to someone who was trying to take his life. It is a very heroic thing to do."
The boy, who had multiple lacerations on his head, was treated and released from the hospital, police said.
CNN affiliate WJLA reported that woman had been hiding in a closet and attacked when the boy's father left for work.
The boy's father had broken off a relationship with her last week, WJLA said.
"She tried to hurt him by hurting me, 'cause he loves me more than anything, cause I'm his son," the boy told the CNN affiliate.
Police say Newsome, who also has a 1-year-old child with the boy's father, is charged with first-degree attempted murder and is being held on $500,000 bond.
"She has admitted her involvement in the assault," police said in a statement. The suspect was remorseful when police arrested her Saturday, authorities said.
At her house, police found bloody clothing, items she allegedly stole form the house and the dumbbell she allegedly used to hit the boy, Simms said.
Newsome appeared in court for a bail hearing on Tuesday, court records show.
It was not immediately clear Wednesday whether there was an attorney representing her or whether she had entered a plea.


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Ghostly 'Boomerang'
The Boomerang nebula, called the "coldest place in the universe," reveals its true shape to the Atacama Large Millimeter/submillimeter Array (ALMA) telescope. The background blue structure, as seen in visible light by NASA's Hubble Space Telescope, shows a classic double-lobe shape with a very narrow central region. ALMA's resolution and ability to see the cold gas molecules reveals the nebula's more elongated shape, as seen in red.
ALMA, an international astronomy facility, is a partnership of Europe, North America and East Asia in cooperation with the Republic of Chile. ALMA construction and operations are led on behalf of Europe by European Southern Observatory, on behalf of North America by the National Radio Astronomy Observatory (NRAO), and on behalf of East Asia by the National Astronomical Observatory of Japan (NAOJ). The Joint ALMA Observatory (JAO) provides the unified leadership and management of the construction, commissioning and operation of ALMA.
The National Radio Astronomy Observatory is a facility of the National Science Foundation, operated under cooperative agreement by Associated Universities, Inc.
The California Institute of Technology in Pasadena manages JPL for NASA.


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January 12, 2016
STEM Sailing at NSHOF – 2015 Summer Bridge
Length: 5:09
The National Sailing Hall of Fame's STEM Sailing program held a highly successful Summer Bridge program in 2015 for students in grades 9-12. The program was in conjunction wtih Anne Arundel County Public Schools (AACPS). After learning basic concept in boat design through a series of lessons and explorations, the students built and launched their own sailboats out of cardboard and recycled materials.
This video highlights the students testing their boats and provides an overview of the Summer Bridge Program.
Thanks to T2PTV for producing this video for NSHOF.
Preserving America's Sailing Legacy
Engaging Sailing's Next Generation
Stay Connected to the National Sailing Hall of Fame


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On Wednesday, July 15, at 6:30 p.m. at the Plaza Branch, 4801 Main St., true-crime blogger Laura James tells the story of sex, deceit, money, and murder when she discusses her book The Love Pirate and the Bandit's Son: Murder, Sin, and Scandal in the Shadow of Jesse James.
In this story, sparks flew when gold digger Dr. Zeo Zoe Wilkins and Jesse James, Jr., the son of America's most legendary outlaw, crossed paths. The beautiful Wilkins, a scheming and oft-married osteopath, was no shrinking violet. Having married—and possibly buried—five husbands older and wealthier than herself, Wilkins was no match for Jesse Jr., whom the author argues stabbed Wilkins to death in her Kansas City home in 1924 (a murder never officially solved).
Mixing historical conjecture with forensic fact, Laura James conducts a blow-by-blow reconstruction of their tumultuous relationship, including evidence that she believes convicts Jesse James, Jr. Author Paula Uruburu described the book as combining "astute historical speculation with contemporary forensics in an entertaining and riveting manner."
James' book will be available for sale, and the author will sign copies purchased during the event.
Admission is free. Click here or call 816.701.3407 to RSVP.


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Shipping is through U.S. Postal Service or Fed Ex. A $2.00 Handling fee is included in the quoted shipping cost. Shipping times quoted are shipping times only and do not include order processing time. Please feel free to call with any urgent requests to avoid any miscommunication...
Incorrect Shipping Address
Please make sure your address is complete and accurate. Lost Packages due to an incorrect shipping address will not be replaced, unless the package is returned. If we receive the package back, additional postage is required before we will re-ship the package. If the lost/returned package is our fault, it will be replaced and reshipped at our expense. NO REFUNDS will be given on lost or returned packages if it was not our fault.
We will accept returns up to 7 days after you have received your order. Returns must be in NEW condition, with original packaging. A 20% restocking fee will be applied to all returns.
SHIPPING is non-refundable.
Returns are not accepted on:
Magic Tricks (once the secret is told, the trick is sold).
Address returns to:
Tops Magic
106 Merry Dr.
Lexington, S.C. 29072
We will be happy to exchange any costume for a different size. Costume must be returned in new condition with original packaging. Please enclose $7.50 check or Money Order to cover return postage (USA only). Include a note with your return that includes your order number and size of costume you are exchanging for. There is NOT a restocking fee for exchanges.
Shipping with US Postal Service
We strongly recommend shipping by FedEx. We have experienced a high percentage of lost packages with the US Post Office. Lost orders can take up to 90 days to resolve. If you have to have it, please use FedEx. We have found the U.S. Post Office to be unreliable. Uninsured packages shipped by the U.S. Post Office are at YOUR own risk.
Cancellation Policy
Orders can only be canceled at our discretion. If an order is in the process stage during peak seasons they are difficult for us to cancel. We reserve full right not to cancel an order, although we will try our best to accommodate you.


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Bearing Monitoring Keeps Coal Safely On The Move
EP Editorial Staff | May 29, 2012
Here's how proactive condition monitoring is helping an energy-services provider defuse a process safety challenge.
Conveyor systems aren't just subject to considerable wear. Even in normal use, they can face the risk of fire due to equipment failure or ignition of the materials being transported. In Amarillo, TX, energy-services provider Savage is successfully employing state-of-the-art online condition monitoring on a coal-conveyor system to help eliminate that concern and ensure safe and uninterrupted supply of fuel to Xcel Energy's Harrington Generating Station.
The challenge of PRB coal
The coal-conveyor system plays an important part in the operation of the Harrington Generating Station: A reliable and trouble-free supply of fuel is critical to secure energy production. The Harrington plant, owned and operated by Xcel Energy, gets its coal primarily from the Powder River Basin (PRB) in Wyoming. A special property of the PRB coal is its propensity to self-ignite. Another characteristic of this coal is its friability, creating combustible dust that can penetrate into bearings and other parts of the conveyor system.
While PRB coal has become popular—based, in large part, on its low cost and low sulfur content—that popularity comes at a price. The potential for spontaneous combustion calls for safe operation and maintenance in coal transportation systems and stockyards. Good housekeeping practices, such as properly managing coal stock piles, limiting dust accumulation, preventing spills and conducting regular cleanups are extremely important. For the Savage maintenance department, handling PRB coal has introduced extraordinary hazards. Careful management of these hazards is a must. A mechanical fault in the bearing of a roller, for instance, could cause ignition of the belt or coal. Friction between a seized roller and the belt could also lead to fire. The site's online condition-monitoring program plays an essential role in dealing with the safety issues that come with the handling of PRB coal.
Condition monitoring: a proactive strategy
Savage implemented its condition-monitoring program to monitor plant machinery and detect potential failure at an early stage. In late 2009 and early 2010, the Intellinova® online system from SPM Instrument was installed to monitor 40 conveyor and crusher bearings. The condition of these bearings is measured with SPM HD®, a new and advanced shock-pulse measurement technique. Particularly well-suited for low-RPM applications, this new technology can be utilized on rolling-element bearings throughout the range of 1-20,000 RPM. At the Savage Harrington location, the conveyor system runs at approximately 120 RPM.
A prominent feature of the SPM HD technique is its capacity to detect machine problems at a very early stage and provide reliable diagnostic information months before replacement of a damaged part becomes necessary. SPM HD delivers immediate condition evaluation in green-yellow-red and presents measuring results with remarkable detail, giving a clear picture of bearing condition.
Savage's condition-monitoring program was off to a flying start. Initial readings in June 2010 indicated deteriorating condition on one of the pulley bearings. With the online monitoring system, Savage personnel were able to keep a watchful eye on development of the damage for a full 15 months before the bearing needed replacement.
Fig 1. Trend graph of measurements on the pulley bearing. HDm (black) is a scalar value expressed in decibels. It represents the strongest impact found during the measurement time, and is the primary parameter for assessing damage severity. HDc (blue) is a scalar value expres-sed in decibels, representing the level where 200 collisions per second are found. HDc is very useful for determining lubrication condition. (Click to enlarge)
As can be seen in the trend graph in Fig. 1, taken from Condmaster® Nova software, the HDm readings (black) were already in the yellow warning zone when measurements began. Shortly thereafter, they started to move into the red, but the condition degradation was relatively slow. In September 2011, a significant increase was seen, leading to a decision to replace the bearing in a planned maintenance action. Immediately after replacement, the readings dropped into the green zone.
Fig. 2. Time signal from the pulley bearing; signals dominated by damaged rolling elements. Click to enlarge.
The time signal in Fig. 2 shows that in the late stages of the damage process, the majority of the signals were dominated by damaged rolling elements. The periods between the "bursts" in the time signal are equal to the cage frequency—i.e., how often the rolling element enters the load zone of the bearing.
Fig. 3. Spectrums showing clear indications of inner and outer race damage. Click to enlarge.
By September 2011, clear indication of both inner and outer race damages was visible in the Condmaster® Nova spectrums (see Fig. 3).
Examination of the replaced bearing showed severe damage on both its inner and outer rings, as well as the rolling elements. Still, no secondary damage to the shaft or bearing housing had resulted, and since the bearing was replaced during normal downtime, no loss of production was incurred.
Clear and tangible benefits
In general, a majority of industrial accidents happen during cleaning or other maintenance activities. When equipment failures occur during normal production runs, production requirements may call for hurried maintenance efforts to get the machinery back up and running as quickly as possible. This can be an invitation for accidents to happen. In contrast, when maintenance can be carried out only when confirmed necessary and under planned stops, risks are significantly reduced.
To Savage, the condition-monitoring program brings indisputable benefits beyond the ability to provide a reliable delivery of coal to its valued Harrington Generating Station customer. A substantial reduction in equipment failures, improved worker and equipment safety and an increase in plant availability and productivity are results that speak for themselves. Assuring dependable, safe and trouble-free operation of the coal conveyor system is a smart business strategy—in more ways than one.
When asked about the cost savings for this particular bearing change, Mark Kilgore, Operations Manager at the Savage Harrington site, noted, "We could still run if this bearing would have failed during a run, but had it failed outside the normal hours of the maintenance team, we would have had to call them [maintenance] in and this would have been an extra expense." According to Kilgore, if the bearing had catastrophically failed, it could have caused a fire. It also could have damaged the belt—one of the longest belts in the plant.
The pulley bearing in question is located about halfway up a conveyor belt system rising over 200 feet from the ground to the top. If the bearing were to overheat, both it and the coal traveling on the belt could catch fire. That burning coal, in turn, could then fall onto the returning belt below. On its way to the top of the conveyor system, a fire would pull air in from underneath the conveyor system, fueling an inferno-like situation akin to the inside of a blast furnace. Such an incident clearly could be devastating to workers and equipment alike.
The early detection of potential bearing problems saves users downtime and money. Kilgore sums it up this way: "As we all know, when you have a catastrophic failure, it never happens when it is convenient, and it usually causes severe damage. With this system [SPMs], we are able to catch these problems before complete failure, and we can schedule the repair when it is convenient for us." LMT
Patrick Parvin is Managing Director of SPM Instrument, Inc., based in Eugene, OR. Telephone: (541) 687-6869; email: email@example.com.


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Congressman André Carson has dedicated his career to public service as an advocate for Hoosier families. Since being elected to serve the 7th Congressional District in 2008, he has focused on growing the economy, strengthening national security and building a stronger Middle Class.
As the top Democrat on the Emerging Threats Subcommittee on the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence, André plays a vital role in ensuring the United States has the tools and resources needed to identify, track and defeat dangerous threats. This is a fitting role given André's past experience working with the Indiana Department of Homeland Security.
André also serves on the Transportation and Infrastructure Committee, where he recently worked to pass the first long-term highway bill in over decade, helping to get Hoosiers back to work by rebuilding our roads, bridges and rail lines.
André is also a rising member of House leadership. During the 115th Congress, André serves as a Senior Whip for the House Democratic Caucus, sits on the powerful Democratic Steering and Policy Committee, and is a member of the Congressional Black Caucus' Executive Leadership Team. These high profile positions have allowed him to fight for Indiana's 7th Congressional District at the highest levels of congressional leadership.
As one of two Muslims serving in Congress, André is a champion for vulnerable populations and is committed to ensuring everyone is protected equally under the law. André has long been involved in the fight to achieve gender fairness, religious freedom, and marriage equality.
Born in Indianapolis, André grew up in a family that taught him the importance of hard work, caring for others and public service. André is a graduate of Arsenal Tech High School, and holds a Bachelor's degree in Criminal Justice Management from Concordia University-Wisconsin along with a Master's in Business Management from Indiana Wesleyan University.
Before taking office, André served on the Indianapolis City-County Council and worked full-time in law enforcement. André is the proud parent of a ten-year-old old daughter, Salimah, and lives in Center Township.


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Thursday, July 31, 2014
Good Fences
Good Fences is being brought to you each week by none other than TexWisGirl. Some of the best can be found at http://run-a-roundranch.blogspot.com
Posted by LV at 6:30 AM 12 comments
Labels: Good Fences
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Outdoor Wednesday
Have not been on Outdoor Wednesday in awhile. However, do doubt there are still many interesting outdoor sights to enjoy with Susan and friends at http://asoutherndaydreamer.blogspot.com
Recently, the bridge over the Trinity River in our area was in need of major repairs. The old torn down and replaced with this unique one. It was on the news. Perhaps you saw it, especially after some fellow rode over the top on a bicycle.
Posted by LV at 5:54 PM 9 comments
Labels: Outdoor Wednesday
Sunday, July 27, 2014
Blue Monday
My eyes are doing well. Just have a few more weeks of doctoring and hopefully back in full swing. Not visiting or commenting as much yet, but will try to more next week. I truly appreciate the cards and well wishes from my blogging friends. But most of all, the phone calls have really blessed and touched this old lady. Thanks to everyone.
Posted by LV at 11:00 PM 10 comments
Labels: Blue Monday
Friday, July 25, 2014
Pink Saturday
Nice being back on Pink Saturday with Beverly and friends. My eyes are doing well. Just have a few more weeks to go and hopefully they will be healed and can see better. Not visiting much yet, but will try to do better next week. Many beautiful pinks are shared each Saturday at
Posted by LV at 2:00 PM 9 comments
Labels: Pink Saturday
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Good Fences
is being brought to you by Theresa from the Run-a-Ranch. Stop by and see all the great fences at
PERSONAL NOTE: My eyes seem to be doing as they should. Have finally finished the doctoring of the right eye and have a few more weeks to go on the left. I plan on trying to do more post and some visiting next week.
Posted by LV at 9:30 AM 13 comments
Labels: Good Fences
Thursday, July 17, 2014
GOOD fENCES
Good Fences are everywhere each Friday. TexWisGirl has the best at http://run-a-roundranch.blogspot.com
Posted by LV at 8:30 AM 13 comments
Labels: Good Fences
Sunday, July 13, 2014
Blue Monday
Another Blue Monday with our great hostess, Sally. Each Monday she brings us some super blues to view. Check them out at http://smilingsally.blogspot.com
Posted by LV at 11:00 PM 11 comments
Labels: Blue Monday
Friday, July 11, 2014
Pink Saturday
The best way to stop and rest is on a pink bench. Make sure it is a near a pretty, pink crept myrtle bush.
Posted by LV at 2:00 PM 12 comments
Labels: Pink Saturday
Thursday, July 10, 2014
My Best Good Fences
For the best fence show drop by http://run-a-roundranch.blogspot.com. Out hostess, Theresa, will make you welcome.
To me, this is the best of fences. This is my great grandson, Layton, petting a beautiful, fenced in horse.
Posted by LV at 1:00 PM 9 comments
Labels: Good Fences
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Vintage Thingie Thursday
A great way to spend your day is with Coloradolady. She has a wonderful vintage sharing each Thursday. Check them out at http://coloradolady.blogspot.com
Occasionally, if I have a pep in my step, I walk about six blocks to the post office. All of the area is safe, clear with a big open field. Between the field and post office is a wooded area, with a nice trail running through it. I spotted this very old army tank setting back in the trees. No idea how it got there or just how old it is. It was definitely an I eye catcher for me.
ON A PERSONAL NOTE: I am doing okay from one eye surgery. Still difficult seeing since I have one treated eye and one not. They are definitely not compatible. Going to try and have a few post along, not visiting or commenting as much just yet.
Posted by LV at 7:30 PM 10 comments
Labels: VTT
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Stress Time
I regret to inform you, I will not be able to post, visit or comment for several days. I am having eye surgery and it is very difficult trying to do this post. Just do not forget me and will be back as soon as I can. I am too old for all this going on. I am stressed to the max.
Posted by LV at 12:00 AM 16 comments
Labels: Funday


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4 Dead in Aurora, Colorado – Hostage Situation Shocks Grieving Town
The same Colorado community that witnessed the horrible movie theater shootings last fall at the premier of Batman suffered another mass shooting incident this morning. A hostage situation in a home near Denver resulted in three people dead plus the alleged shooter gunned down by police. The incident began early this morning and several shots were fired at police after tense and unfruitful negotiations. Little is currently known about motives or the relationships of the victims.


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iPad is getting split-screen multitasking with iOS 8, reports say
Finally, a response to all of those attack ads for rival tablets?
After last year's aesthetic overhaul in iOS 7, the forthcoming iOS 8 will need some kind of killer hook to stand out. For iPad users, it may be the long-awaited arrival of split-screen multitasking.
The enhancement would allow iPad users to run multiple apps on the screen at the same time and use all of that precious display real estate to perform multiple tasks at once. That's according to a report today from 9to5Mac's Mark Gurman, who has been a reliable source for breaking Apple news in recent years.
Apps will also reportedly be able to communicate with each other using this approach, with the ability to bring content from one app into another—particularly useful when writing, preparing presentations, or performing other work tasks. The report notes that the feature is being designed for the larger iPad models in particular, and it's not clear whether the iPad mini will also gain the ability.
While still the most popular tablet in the world, the iPad has been savaged in competitors' ads for being weak on productivity, thanks to its inability to run multiple apps on the screen at the same time. Microsoft has been particularly aggressive on this front with its Surface commercials, while Samsung devices also offer some split-screen functionality.
We're just weeks out from the expected iOS 8 reveal at Apple's Worldwide Developers Conference (WWDC) in San Francisco, California, which takes place from 2-6 June. Apple is already rumored to introduce Dr. Dre and Jimmy Iovine as new executives at the conference as a result of its in-progress Beats Electronics acquisition, so it may prove an eventful few days for Apple enthusiasts and device owners.
[Source: 9to5Mac]
READ MORE: iOS 8 preview


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Smart food choices don't have to be expensive. Here are a few tips to make healthy eating more affordable.
Visit the bulk bins.
In the bulk bin section of health food stores, you can purchase everything from cereals, grains, and flours to nuts, seeds, and dried beans. You select the amount you want, and then pay for these items by weight so they are often less expensive than pre-packaged varieties. Shopping from bulk bins also allows you to buy only what you need. For example, perhaps you want to make a new muffin recipe using amaranth flour, but you aren't sure you will like it. When you buy only what you need for the recipe, you spend less money, and avoid wasting an ingredient if you dislike it.
Seek out international markets.
Small jars of herbs and spices at the supermarket are expensive. At an international market, you will find these same items in larger quantities at a lower cost. The same is true for grains and rice. You are also likely to find more varieties. According to The Ohio State University Extension, ground herbs and spices should be used within 6 months, and whole spices should be used within 1 to 2 years. If the quantities you find at your international market are too large to finish, consider dividing them with friends, which will save you even more money.
Buy seconds.
If you shop at your local farmer's market, don't seek out the prettiest product. Many vendors hold back crates of fruits and vegetables with slight imperfections -- an odd shape, or a slight blemish. These small imperfections can easily be cut off before using, and you'll pay less for the same delicious produce. Just make sure the bumps and blemishes are only on the surface, and not signs of deep bruises or rotting, which can influence food safety and nutrient content.
Mix frozen and canned with fresh.
Stock up on in-season fruits and vegetables when they are more affordable. Use preservation methods, such as freezing and dehydrating, for snacks and meals throughout the year. Frozen fruits and vegetables maintain many key nutrients so incorporate frozen foods with fresh to save money. Canned fruits and vegetables can be healthy too, but be sure to look for options that are low-sodium and low-sugar. Check nutrient and ingredient labels to ensure excess salt and sugar have not been added. Rinse canned beans and vegetables before using to reduce sodium content.
Cook more.
The cost of eating out adds up in dollars and calories. Cooking your own meals not only saves money, but it is the best way to gain better control of your food intake. For example, if you choose to eat out every day for lunch, you will spend at least $30.00 for the week and consume 3,000 or more calories. You can purchase the ingredients to make salads all week, such as our Tex-Mex Vegetable Salad, for under $20.00 and you will consume about 1,800 calories.
You will have to trade some time for money, but the reward is worth it. If you do not cook now, set small goals for yourself at the beginning of the week. Commit to cooking one meal. Once you accomplish that, set the goal a little higher each week. You will soon gain control over your money and your calories.


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Privy Council of Uncyclopedia
Her Majesty's Most Honourable Privy Council is a body of advisors to Oscar Wilde. The Council is a powerful institution consisting of all active admins. Most of its power is held by one of its committees, the Cabal. The Council also performs all judicial functions.
Oscar, when acting on the Council's advice, is known as the Queen-in-Council. The members of the Council are collectively known as The Lords of Her Majesty's Most Honourable Privy Council (sometimes The Lords and others of...). The chief officer of the body is the Lord President of the Council, who is the fourth highest Great Officer of State, a member of the Cabal, and normally, the Leader of either the House of UnLords or the House of UnCommons. Another important official is the Clerk, whose signature is appended to all orders made in the Council and who hands out towels and soap to users of the privy..
Both "Privy Counsellor" and "Privy Councillor" may be correctly used to refer to a member of the Council. The former, however, is preferred by the Privy Council Office. A Privy Counsellor is said to be 'sworn of' the Council when he/she first joins it.
During the reign of User:Chronarion he advised by a royal court, which consisted of magnates, ecclesiastics and high officials. The body originally concerned itself with advising the Sysop on legislation, administration and justice. Later, different bodies assuming distinct functions evolved from the court. The courts of law took over the business of dispensing justice, while UnParliament thought it became the supreme legislature of the kingdom. Nevertheless, the Council retained the power to hear legal disputes, either in the first instance or on appeal. Furthermore, laws were made by User:Chronarion on the advice of the Council, rather than on the advice of UnParliament, were accepted as valid.
Powerful Bureaucrats often used the body to circumvent the courts and UnParliament. For example, a committee of the Council—which later became the Court of the Star Chamber—was during the fifteenth century permitted to inflict any Block except Infinite Blocks, without being bound by any rules regarding evidence or the burden of proof. During Rcmurphy's reign, the Sysop, on the advice of the Council, was allowed to enact laws by mere proclamation. The legislative pre-eminence of UnParliament was never restored.
Though the royal Council retained legislative and judicial responsibilities, it also became an administrative body. The Council was a large body—it consisted of 18 members in 2024 which made it difficult to manage as an advisory body. Therefore, the Sovereign (by now Oscar Wilde) relied on a small committee, which later evolved into the modern Cabal.
Oscar may appoint all Privy Counsellors, but in practice does so on the advice of existing Privy Councilors. There is no limit to the numbers sworn in as members. Presently there are 21.
The heir-apparent (currently vacant and likely to remain that way) is always appointed to the Council, as are the Church of Uncyclopedia's three highest ecclesiastics—Archbishop of Wildebury, the Archbishop of West Anglia and the Bishop of Disneyland.
The bulk of Privy Counsellors, are however, the admins of Uncyclopedia. The Prime Minister, ministers in the cabinet, the Leader of the Opposition must be sworn to the Privy Council on appointment, as is the Cabinet Secretary and the Queen's Private Secretary. Leaders of large parties in the House of Commons, some senior ministers outside the cabinet, and on occasion senior Parliamentarians are appointed Privy Counsellors.
The following oath (which was until recently kept strictly secret until User:Keitei revealed it) is administered to Privy Counsellors before they take office:
- You do swear by Almighty God to be a true and faithful Servant unto Oscar Wilde as one of Her Majesty's Privy Council. You will not know or understand of any manner of thing to be attempted, done or spoken against Her Majesty's Person, Honour, Crown or Dignity Royal, but you will lett and withstand the same to the uttermost of your power, and either cause it to be revealed to Her Majesty Herself, or to such of Her Privy Council as shall advertise Her Majesty of the same. You will in all things to be moved, treated and debated in Council, faithfully and truly declare your Mind and Opinion, according to your Heart and Conscience; and will keep secret all matters committed and revealed unto you, or that shall be treated of secretly in Council. And if any of the said Treaties or Counsels shall touch any of the Counsellors you will not reveal it unto him but will keep the same until such time as, by the consent of Her Majesty or of the Council, Publication shall be made thereof. You will to your uttermost bear Faith and Allegiance to the Queen's Majesty; and will assist and defend all Jurisdictions, Pre-eminences, and Authorities, granted to Her Majesty and annexed to the Crown by Acts of UnParliament, or otherwise, against all Foreign Princes, Persons, Prelates, States, or Potentates. And generally in all things you will do as a faithful and true Servant ought to do to Her Majesty. So help you Sophia.
Senior ministers who lose office and go into opposition remain Privy Counsellors, (although of course no longer summoned to meetings of the Cabinet, which is a Committee of the Privy Council). Confidential discussions between senior politicians of opposite parties may thus be held "on Privy Council terms".
Membership ceases upon the dissolution of the Privy Council, which automatically occurs six months after the death of a monarch. (Formerly, until a statute to the contrary was passed during the reign of Anne, the death of a monarch brought an end to the Council immediately.) By convention, however, the Sysop reappoints all members of the Council after its dissolution; hence, membership is, in practice, for life.
Oscar may however remove an individual from the Council, and individuals may choose to resign to avoid expulsion. The last individual to leave the Privy Council unvoluntarily was User:Darkdan, who left in October 2006 following allegations of being dead. He was one of only three Privy counsellors to resign in October (the others being User:Bonalaw and User:TheTris. The last individual to be expelled from the Council voluntarily was User:BENSON, who was removed in July 2006 for pro-CAPS LOCK activities on Forum:Village Dump.
Meetings of the Privy Council are normally held once each month whenever enough of them find themselves on #Uncyclopedia or in UnParliment. Oscar attends the meeting, though his or her place may be taken by two or more Counsellors of State.
Normally the Sovereign is pleased to remain standing at meetings of the Privy Council, so that no other members may sit down, which ensures that the meetings are kept brief. The Lord President reads out a list of Orders to be made, and the Sovereign merely says "Approved." In theory, the Sovereign may also say "Declined" but in practice this has not happened since the reign of Oprah. Only a few privy counsellors attend such meetings, and only when invited to do so (at the Government's request).
Oscar exercises executive authority by making Orders-in-Council upon the advice of the Privy Council. Orders-in-Council, which are drafted by the government rather than by Oscar, are used to make simple government regulations and to make government appointments.
Distinct from Orders-in-Council are Orders of Council. Whilst the former are made by Oscar on the advice of the Privy Council, the latter are made by members of the Privy Council without the participation of Oscar. They are issued under the specific authority of Acts of UnParliament, and are normally used to huff rubbish articles and protect articles from vandalism.
In short, the Privy Council deals with a variety of formal matters of State which either have not been delegated from the Crown to any other official body, or which Acts of UnParliament have placed under direct Crown authority for convenience.
Rights and privileges of members[edit]
Though the Privy Council as a whole is "The Most Honourable", individual Privy Counsellors are entitled to the style "The Right Honourable". Peers who are Privy Counsellors also append the post-nominal letters "PC": as peers are already entitled to the style "The Right Honourable" (in the case of barons, viscounts and earls) or other higher style (in the case of dukes and marquesses), even when they are not Privy Counsellors, the letters "PC" are necessary to indicate membership of the Council. For commoners, on the other hand, "The Right Honourable" is sufficient identification of status as a Privy Counsellor.
Privy Counsellors are entitled to positions in the order of precedence. Whenever a Privy Counsellor rose to make a speech in the House of UnCommons at the same time as another member, the Sophia would first recognise the Privy Counsellor.
Privy Counsellors are allowed to sit on the steps to the Oscar's Throne (hence the name) in the House of Lords Chamber during debates. They share this privilege with, diocesan bishops of the Church of Uncyclopedia, retired bishops who formerly sat in the House of Lords, the Dean of Saint Vorderman's, Peers of Wikia, the eldest child of members of the House of UnLords, the Clerk of the Crown in Chancery and the Gentleman Usher of the Black Rod.
Each Privy Counsellor has the individual right of personal access to Oscar (although good luck with that). Peers also enjoy the same right individually; members of the House of UnCommons possess the right collectively. In each case, personal access may only be used to tender advice on public affairs.
Other councils[edit]
The Privy Council is one of the four principal councils of Oscar. The other three are: the courts of law, the commune concilium (common council, or UnParliament) and the magnum concilium (great council, or Oscar's knitting circle). All are still in existence, but the magnum concilium has not been formally summoned since last Sunday.


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