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Below are Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) about ColoradoGives.org. For details about Colorado Gives Day, visit Colorado Gives Day FAQs.
ColoradoGives.org is a year-round, online giving website featuring over 2,000 Colorado nonprofit organizations. Made possible by Community First Foundation since 2007, ColoradoGives.org encourages charitable giving by providing comprehensive, objective and up-to-date information about Colorado nonprofits and an easy way to support them online.
Community First Foundation screens each nonprofit that applies to join the site to ensure they meet specific standards. However, each nonprofit is responsible for the content on their profile page.
Watch this video to learn how to make a donation or review the following:
From any page on the site, you can search for charities by organization name, keyword, cause, city or ZIP code. It is also possible to search for ColoradoGives Fundraising Pages that benefit specific nonprofits. You can further filter your search results by status or alphabetical listing.
After searching, learn more about an organization's mission, programs, financials, and more by clicking on the search results widget or the "Learn More" link. You can then choose to donate or continue searching.
If you are already familiar with an organization, you can simply click on their "Donate" button, and follow the step-by-step instructions. The minimum donation amount is $10.
You can donate with a credit card (Visa, MasterCard, Discover or American Express), information from a bank account (personal checking, business checking or savings), or a Giving eCard that has been emailed to you as a gift (see "Can I send gift cards through your system" below). You can donate any of these ways without creating an account. You may also want to consider setting up recurring donations so that the organizations you cherish the most will receive a dependable gift from you.
Once you've made a donation, you will automatically receive an on-screen acknowledgment letter. A copy of this letter will also be emailed to you. These can be printed for your records. If you created a donor account, copies of these letters will also be saved in your donation history.
All of the charities on ColoradoGives.org are recognized by the Internal Revenue Service and the Secretary of State and are in good standing, so you can be certain that your donations are tax deductible as charitable contributions to the full extent permitted by law.
Your contribution will go to Community First Foundation which will grant your donation to the charity you designate. This allows us to issue a donation receipt to you immediately upon completion of your transaction. However, if the charity offers additional state tax credits, such as the Child Care Contribution Credit or Enterprise Zone Contribution Tax Credit, Community First Foundation will acknowledge that the gift was processed successfully, but the charity that offers the additional state tax credits will issue you the official tax receipt and additional receipts pursuant to that.
Can I use an IRA charitable distribution to donate to nonprofits on ColoraGives.org?
If you are 72 or older, you can give up to $100,000 from your IRA directly to a qualified charity without having to pay income taxes on the money. This also can help you meet your required minimum distribution for the year. By using ColoradoGives.org, you are able to donate to multiple nonprofits with only one disbursement. Learn more here.
Is my donation tax-deductible?
Yes. All of the charities on ColoradoGives.org are recognized by the Internal Revenue Service and the Secretary of State and are in good standing. Donations are tax deductible as charitable contributions to the full extent permitted by law.
Are nonprofits charged any fees?
Third-party vendors charge credit card and electronic check processing fees when donors make online gifts to nonprofit organizations. Two percent of each donation helps to cover these fees and ensures the program's long-term sustainability. The two percent third-party processing fee is one of the lowest in the country and the most cost effective way to fundraise online. We are happy we can make this program available to Colorado nonprofits without any set-up charges or monthly maintenance fees.
Are tax credits available for donations made through ColoradoGives.org?
All of the charities listed on ColoradoGives.org are recognized by the Internal Revenue Service and in good standing with the Secretary of State. This means that your donations are tax deductible as charitable contributions to the full extent permitted by law.
Additional Colorado state tax credits (defined below) may be available through several of the charities on the site. Visit the "Financials" tab on an organization's profile under "Tax Credit" to determine if additional credits apply.
If your donations are made to charities that offer these credits, Community First Foundation will acknowledge that your donations were processed, but your receipt for tax purposes will be issued by the charities that offer state tax credits. The charities will also determine the extent to which your contributions are eligible. Please contact them directly for confirmation and instruction.
The following tax credits are offered in Colorado. Please consult with a tax professional for details.
Child Care Contribution Credit
A state income tax credit for donations made to qualifying organizations that increase the quality and availability of child care in Colorado.
Enterprise Zone Contribution Tax Credit
A state income tax credit for donations to organizations involved in improving economically distressed areas (called "Enterprise Zones") through job creation and preservation, and assistance programs for homeless persons.
How does my donation get to the charity(ies) I choose?
ColoradoGives uses a respected company called Comodo to provide SSL on the site. SSL is a protocol that provides an encrypted tunnel between your computer and the site you're viewing which prevents third parties from interfering with your donation information traveling through the tunnel. Your donation is then processed either through an e-commerce payment service called Authorize.net (for e-checks) or Braintree (for credit cards). Community First Foundation compiles the donations and electronically transfers the donations directly to the nonprofit's bank account.
Can I use my employer's matching gifts program?
Yes. Please ask your employer to send matching funds directly to the nonprofits(s) you are supporting and not to Community First Foundation.
Charitable donations made on ColoradoGives.org are irrevocable. If there are extenuating circumstances, please contact us, and we will review your individual case.
If the donation has already been disbursed to the charity(ies) you designated, you will need to contact the charity(ies) directly to request a refund. ColoradoGives cannot guarantee that a charity will refund your donation as this decision is entirely at the discretion of the charity.
Why does my credit card or bank statement show "CmtyFirstFdn/ColoradoGives" or "COGivesDay/ColoradoGives" instead of the charity(ies) I donated to?
This is because ColoradoGives is a program of Community First Foundation and we manage the donations that come through the website. Your donation first goes to the Foundation. After processing, we grant the donations to the charities. This allows the Foundation to issue you an acknowledgment letter immediately upon completion of your transaction.
Can I specify how charities use my donation?
Some charities have provided options on where you can direct how your donation should be used by them (e.g., Programs, Endowment, etc.). Other charities have not identified any options for you to choose from. If you have no preference or are unsure, then you can opt not to select anything and it will default to "Nonprofit's Discretion". If you do not select an option other than "Nonprofit's Discretion", then your donation will automatically be directed to general operating support for the organization unless the charity has made special arrangements with the Foundation to direct any unspecified donations elsewhere.
If you would like your donation to be used for a specific purpose, please contact the charity directly before making the donation to make sure they are able to honor your request. If the charity confirms they can honor your request, then please state your wishes in the Special instructions or comments for nonprofit text box. Community First Foundation cannot guarantee that charities will honor these requests.
Do charities that receive contributions through ColoradoGives.org have access to donor information collected on the site?
When you make your donation, if you opt not to be anonymous or to only be anonymous in publications, then the charity(ies) will receive your name, address, email, phone number, date of the donation, the amount of the donation, whether the donation is recurring, the frequency of any recurring gifts, the level of anonymity you selected, and any specifications you've made about your donation.
Community First Foundation shares this information with the charities so that they have the opportunity to send you a thank you letter. We believe in strengthening the relationship between nonprofits and donors, and an important aspect of that is for nonprofits to be able to thank their supporters.
If you opt to be completely anonymous when you make your donation, then the charity(ies) will only receive the amount of the donation, date of the donation, whether it is recurring, the frequency of any recurring gifts, and any specifications you've made about your donation. Please note that if you make a completely anonymous gift to a charity that offers additional state tax credits, the charity will not be able to issue you appropriate documentation or a tax receipt.
Can I dedicate my donation as a memorial to or in honor of someone?
Yes. When you make your donation, you can choose your donation to be "In Honor" or "In Memory" of someone, send an eNote to the named person, or request the nonprofit to send a physical card/letter.
Does the charity I donate to in someone's memory/honor send a card?
If you want the charity to send a physical card or letter, then please select the option "Nonprofit notify with letter" while checking out and complete the required address fields displayed. ColoradoGives encourages the charity to notify the person and/or the family who you are making your donation on behalf of, but please contact the charity for details about their specific acknowledgement procedures.
How do I locate the routing and account numbers on my check?
The routing number is always a nine (9) digit number, and is typically located at the bottom of your check between the symbols (often asterisks (*)). The account number is between 10 and 15 digits, and is generally located before the symbol at the bottom of your check.
The routing number and the account number are both different than the check number.
What's the difference between the Recurring Donations tab and the My Donations tab of My Account?
The Recurring Donations section lists the recurring donation(s) you've set up and the amount donated thus far. You can edit or cancel active recurring donations.
The My Donations tab lists all donations you've made through your donor account. These may be payments associated with a recurring donation or one-time gifts. You can access the receipts for any of these donations.
I can't remember my donor account password. What should I do?
1. Click "Log In" button at top of website. Select "Login as Donor", then click "Forgot Password."
2. At the Sign In page, click on the "Forgot Password" button.
3. When prompted, enter the email address associated with your account; then click the "Reset Password" button.
4. When you do this, one of two things will happen:
- If you've set your security questions and answers, you will be asked two of these questions. If your answers are correct, you will be prompted to reset your password immediately. If you can't remember the answers, please email email@example.com and we will assist you. If your answers are incorrect twice, you will receive a message to contact your system administrator. Email email@example.com and we will assist you.
- If you have NOT set security questions and answers, an email will be sent to the donor account email in our system with a link to reset your password. If you do not see the link email in your inbox, be sure to check your spam/junk folder(s).
Can I send gift cards through your system?
We have specially created "virtual" gift cards to be used with ColoradoGives.org. These cards can be purchased on ColoradoGives.org for as little as $10 and up to $99,999.99. They will be sent electronically to your friends and family. The recipients of Giving eCards can use them to support any organization featured on ColoradoGives.
How It Works
1. You purchase a Giving eCard on ColoradoGives.org and write a personal message to the person to whom you're sending the eCard.
2. An email with the Giving eCard is sent to the person you designated.
3. The recipient of the Giving eCard can go to ColoradoGives, find a charity he/she'd like to support, and use the code on the Giving eCard to complete the donation process.
Additional Information
- Giving eCards expire five years from date of purchase, and any dollars not used after that time will be transferred to the Area of Greatest Need Fund at Community First Foundation.
- Giving eCards are tax deductible for the purchaser only.
The person using a Giving eCard will receive confirmation on-screen and in an email acknowledging the amounts and organizations they designated, but this confirmation will clearly indicate that the amounts they designated through the use of the Giving eCard are not tax deductible for them.
Can I have a Giving eCard mailed through regular post?
Giving eCards are "virtual" and only sent electronically via email.
A recurring donation is when a donor authorizes Community First Foundation, through ColoradoGives, to make a donation for a specified amount, at regular intervals, against a specific credit card or bank account, and to specified organizations. Donors can set up daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, or annually recurring donations.
Recurring donations are especially helpful for charities because they provide charities with donations they can rely on.
How do I set up a recurring donation?
You can set up a recurring donation during the check-out process.
1. After you enter your recurring donation amount (minimum of $10), select "Yes" to the question of whether it is a recurring donation.
2. On the form that appears, select 1) When you want the first installment of your donation to be made, 2) How often you would like the gift to be made (every x number of days, weekly, monthly, quarterly or annually), 3) When you would like the donation to end (by a certain date, after a certain number of payments, after a certain amount has been donated, or never).
3. After completing the rest of the information on that page, click "Add to Cart."
4. You will either need to sign in to your existing account or create an account. (If you've already signed in, then you'll automatically be directed to the Payment & Billing section of the donation process).
5. Enter your payment and billing information, and click Submit to complete the transaction.
A donor account on ColoradoGives.org is needed for recurring donations in order to track the parameters you set up and to process the donations according to your direction. A donor account will also allow the automatically generated acknowledgement letters to be stored on your account so you can access them at your convenience. In order to maintain compliance with security standards, Community First Foundation does not store your complete credit card or bank account information.
Can I set up a recurring donation using online checks?
Yes. You can set up a recurring donation from a bank account or with a credit card.
Is there an additional cost for recurring donations?
No, there are no additional costs associated with setting up a recurring donation.
How do I change a recurring donation?
If you want to make changes to an active recurring donation:
1. Log in to your ColoradoGives.org donor account.
2. Click on "My Account" at the top of the page.
3. Click on the "Recurring Donations" tab of your account.
4. Click "Edit" next to the donation you'd like to change.
5. You can then adjust the amount, frequency or duration of that recurring donation. To change your payment profile, refer to the question "How can I use a different payment method for a recurring donation?" directly below.
6. Click "Submit."
How can I use a different payment method for a recurring donation?
Update Expiration Date
If you just need to update the expiration date on a credit card associated with a recurring donation through ColoradoGives, you can do that by following these steps:
1. Go to ColoradoGives.org.
2. Click on Sign In at the top of the page.
3. Login to your donor account (if you cannot remember your password, then click on the forgot password link to reset it).
4. Once logged in, click on My Account at the top of the page.
5. Select the Payment Profiles tab.
6. You will see all payment methods that you have used and saved to your profile. Click Edit to the right of the Payment Profile you would like to update. (If there is no name in the Profile Name section, you can add this once you have clicked on Edit, so that you know which profile contains which payment information).
7. Enter the new expiration date and make any other necessary changes.
8. Click Submit to save your changes.
Update Credit Card Number or Switch Payment Methods
To update your credit card number or switch to a different payment method associated with a recurring donation through ColoradoGives.org, you will need to first cancel the existing recurring donation and then set-up a new recurring donation with the new payment information. To do that, please follow the steps below:
To cancel the existing recurring donation:
1. Go to ColoradoGives.org.
2. Click on Sign In at the top of the page.
3. Login to your donor account (if you cannot remember your password, then click on the forgot password link to reset it).
4. Once logged in, click on My Account at the top of the page.
5. Select the Recurring Tab.
6. Click Cancel next to the recurring donation(s) you want to cancel.
To set-up the new recurring donation:
1. Search for the nonprofit(s) you wish to support on ColoradoGives.org.
2. Click the "Donate" button in their search listing.
3. Enter the details of your recurring donation in the appropriate fields, and click the "Add to Cart" button.
4. You will either need to sign in to your existing account or create an account. (If you've already signed in, then you'll automatically be directed to the Payment & Billing section of the donation process).
5. Enter your payment and billing information, and click Submit to complete the transaction.
How can I cancel a recurring donation?
To cancel the existing recurring donation:
1. Go to ColoradoGives.org.
2. Click on Sign In at the top of the page.
3. Login to your donor account (if you cannot remember your password, then click on the forgot password link to reset it).
4. Once logged in, click on My Account at the top of the page.
5. Select the Recurring Tab.
6. Click Cancel next to the recurring donation(s) you want to cancel.
Fundraising pages are a way for you to raise money on behalf of any charity featured on ColoradoGives.org. This feature allows you to create a custom web page with pictures, video, and a personal appeal from you. Once the page is set-up, you can let your friends and family know about it, by sending them emails with a link to the page housed on ColoradoGives.org, and asking them to help you reach your goal by making a donation. Fundraising pages make it easy to help your favorite charities get more support than what you alone can give.
How do I set up a ColoradoGives Fundraising Page?
To set up a Fundraising Page, you'll need a free ColoradoGives.org donor account. You can then set up a page for any reason (you're running in a charitable marathon, you'd like people to give donations in lieu of birthday or wedding presents, etc.) to promote a charity on ColoradoGives.org.
Within minutes, you can have a Fundraising Page up and going. All you need to do is:
1. Log in to or create your ColoradoGives donor account.
2. Navigate to the "My Campaigns" tab of your account.
3. On the "My Campaigns" tab, click on "Create Campaign".
4. Enter the information you want on your Fundraising Page (like a picture of you, a video about the charity you're supporting, a personal message asking your friends and family to donate, etc.).
5. Decide when and for how long you want your fundraising page to be visible to the public, and when you're ready, submit to the nonprofit for approval.
The nonprofit will review the information and either approve the page or contact you with any questions or concerns they might have.
Once you have a Fundraising Page set up, an email will be sent to the nonprofit for whom you are raising money, and they will need to approve it prior to it going live on ColoradoGives.org. Remember that you'll want to tell others about it by sending the custom URL to your page in an email or share it on social media.
You can also watch this how-to video.
Is there a limit to the amount I can raise through a ColoradoGives Fundraising Page?
No. You have the ability to set any goal you want.
When will my fundraising campaign end?
Your Fundraising Page will end whenever you'd like it to. You can set both the start and end dates for your Fundraising Page.
Will I be notified when someone makes a donation through my Fundraising Page?
Yes. You will be sent an email that tells you that a donation has been made and who made the donation unless they designated to be completely anonymous.
How will the donations I raise through a Fundraising Page get to the charity?
When people donate from the Fundraising Page you set up, they are donating to the charity that you are raising money for and not to you directly. So, when someone clicks to donate on your Fundraising Page, she will be directed to the donation page for the designated charity, and will complete her donation through the normal checkout process.
As with all other donations, Community First Foundation will compile the donations and electronically transfer the funds directly to the charity's bank account.
What if I don't reach my goal?
That's OK. Unlike many crowdfunding sites, ColoradoGives will not penalize you or the nonprofit for not reaching your goal. Any and all donations made through your fundraising page will be electronically transferred to the nonprofit's bank account.
Can I fundraise for multiple charities?
Yes, you can set up as many Fundraising Pages as you'd like, but each Fundraising Page can only be for one charity (i.e., you cannot set up one Fundraising Page for multiple charities).
How can I acknowledge money that has been raised for the nonprofit but not online?
You can work with the nonprofit directly and they can enter this information so that the amount raised is shown correctly on the progress bar.
How can I see who is fundraising for a charity?
If a charity has fundraisers, then you can see a few of the active fundraisers along the right hand side of a nonprofit's profile. To see all active fundraisers for a charity, you can click on the "All Fundraisers" link located on the right hand side of a nonprofit's profile. You can also search for Fundraising Pages from any page of ColoradoGives by typing the keywords of the name of the page in search field and then filtering your results to just show Fundraising Pages.


text: Friday, March 16, 2012 CMS Delays Enforcement of Version 5010 for Additional 3 Months The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services' (CMS) Office of E-Health Standards and Services (OESS) has delayed the enforcement of HIPAA Version 5010 through June 30 for covered entities that are required to comply with the updated transactions standards. The new standards went into effect January 1. However, in November 2011, OESS announced it would delay enforcement until the end of March to allow covered entities to complete outstanding implementation activities, including software installation, testing, and training. Although covered entities have been making steady progress, OESS has extended its enforcement discretion period for an additional 3 months. During this additional delay, OESS is stepping up its existing outreach to include more technical assistance for covered entities. It also is partnering with industry groups and the Medicare fee-for-service (FFS) program and Medicaid to expand technical assistance opportunities and eliminate remaining barriers. The Medicare FFS program will continue to host separate provider calls to address outstanding issues related to Medicare programs and systems. Medicare Administrative Contractors will continue to work closely with clearinghouses, billing vendors, or health care providers requiring assistance in submitting and receiving Version 5010 compliant transactions. Last month, APTA launched a new Web page that contains resources to help physical therapists transition to HIPAA Version 5010. In addition to implementation information, the association has designed an online complaint form for members who are having issues transitioning to the new standards. After the form is completed and submitted online, APTA will forward the issue to CMS.

subset: commoncrawl


text: Remember when the Tomahawk rolled on stage beneath leather-clad Wolfgang Bernhard's posterior? Remember how we all thought Dodge must have had an aneurysm, and the "bitchin'" center of the brain was now running the show? Well, in light of what we have here, Dodge's Viper-powered bike/car mashup looks more like a malaise-era station wagon. It's "Jagged Edge," a one-off motorcycle powered by a twin-turbocharged, 5.3 liter, V12 Jag engine with a single cog driving the rear wheel. Fancy-pants suspension? Nope, it has the front end from a Kawasaki GPZ1100 and a hard tail rear (that means none). Highly engineered thoroughly tested transmission? Ha! It's cobbled together from a cacophony of motorcycle and Land Rover parts. The builder reports 120 mph is as far as he's pushed it, but says there's far more room to roar. Sir, we salute you. [eBay via Custom Mettle]


text:
Current Status reports
are updated daily during missions. Between missions, you can get
the latest launch preparation information from the Kennedy Space
Center Shuttle
Status Report.
Get daily updates from
the Hubble Telescope Project
home page.
Curator: Kim
Dismukes | Responsible NASA Official: John Ira Petty | Updated: 04/07/2002Web Accessibility and Policy Notices


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President Barack Obama is proposing dusting off and finally launching an old environmental satellite championed by Al Gore but shelved a dozen years by his 2000 rival George W. Bush.
Obama proposed Wednesday spending nearly $35 million in his 2014 budget to refurbish a satellite, nicknamed GoreSat by critics, that's been sitting in storage after it was shelved in 2001, months after Bush took office. It cost about $100 million by then with NASA's internal auditors faulting its cost increases.
In 1998, Gore, then vice president, proposed the idea of a satellite that would head nearly 1 million miles out in deep space in a special gravity balancing area between Earth and the Sun. The satellite would gaze at Earth, beam down a continuous picture of our planet and take what scientists said was needed climate change measurements.
It originally was named Triana after the sailor on Christopher Columbus's crew who first sighted land in the Americas. NASA later changed its name to Deep Space Climate Observatory or DISCOVR. But it often got called GoreSat by opponents who called it an expensive screensaver for the vice president.
Since it was canceled, the satellite has been at Goddard Space Flight Center in Maryland. In 2009 and 2010, NASA spent another $14 million to refurbish its instruments. NASA this year has spent $3.4 million to test it. Obama put $9.9 million in NASA's budget for two science instruments and $23.7 million in the budget of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration.
The new launch, paid for by the Air Force, is set for November 2014. It will be run by NOAA. Acting NOAA chief Kathryn Sullivan said its main mission will to give Earth warning when solar storms - which can zap power systems on the ground and fry satellite electronics - are on the way. That job is now being done by a NASA satellite that has surpassed its scheduled lifetime, she said.
"It is indeed still a valuable instrument," said Sullivan, a former astronaut.


text:
A Fun-Filled Educational Experience!
Group Rates and Policies
Mendy's Menu
Free Visits for NYC Public Schools
Public School Initiative
Follow @jcmbrooklyn
A Fun-Filled Educational Experience!
Guided visits are offered to schools, after-school programs, camps and organizations. Our hands-on programs encompass a wide range of Jewish cultural themes including holidays, history and values.
For reservations, please call our Education Department at 718.907.8888.
Group Visit Fast Facts
Grades Pre-K thru 8th
Sundays 10:00 & 10:30, Monday-
Thursday 10:15 & 12:30
Programs are 1½ to 2 hours
Programs include interactive exhibits, creative crafts, game shows, and hands-on workshops
Customized to suit your groups age, background and curriculum
Conform to NY state and city learning standards
Available for special needs groups
Indoor lunch facilities available
Group Program Catalogue 2018-2019
Group Rates and Policies
Public Schools visit for FREE!
© 2020 Jewish Children's Museum
Design & Hosting by


text:
Register and save time!
Register with us for future convenience:
- Fast and easy check out
- Easy access to your order history and status
Filter by:Clear All
The Google ODBC Driver is a powerful tool that allows you to connect with live data from Google Apps, directly from any applications that support ODBC connectivity.
Access Google Apps data like you would a database - read, write, and update Google Contacts, Docs, Calendar, etc. through a standard ODBC Driver interface.
Powerful SSIS Source & Destination Components that allow you to easily connect SQL Server with live Google account data through SSIS Workflows.
Use the Google Data Flow Components to synchronize with Google Docs, Google Calendar, Google Talk, Search, etc. Perfect for data synchronization, local back-ups, workflow automation, and more!


text:
Meagan_jemison necesitaba un nuevo diseño de logotipo y lanzó un concurso de diseño en 99designs.
Un ganador ha sido elegido entre 127 diseños de 28 diseñadores freelance.
CrossRoads Church
CrossRoads Church is an interdenominational church of around 400 located in a suburb of Lake Charles, Louisiana. CrossRoads does not fit the mold of a typical "southern conservative church." We strive to be open and accepting to all – meaning we welcome those with crazy pasts (even presents) and those that don't "look the part" of a Christian. We are a casual church – no suits, dresses required and are locally known for our rockin' band.
Our mission has always been to restore the hearts of those in our church family and ultimately help relationships with God grow. Lately, it has really begun to make a push toward serving those outside our four walls – locally and internationally.
We have doubled in size in the last two years and are still growing. God is doing amazing things. We feel we need to rebrand ourselves to reflect this energy.
Our web address is http://www.CRoads.org - don't judge the design – just if you want to get more of a feel for us.
We will continue to focus on our current target audience, which is the un-churched and Christians that aren't scared to break the traditional "rules" of religion and be real in their faith.
We have many projects within our rebranding efforts we need to tackle. To begin this, we need a new logo. We would like it to be a vector graphic, so we can easily resize it to be used in items as small as brochures to items as large as exterior banners for our building.
Direction: We are open to going in two directions: edgy or sleek (probably leaning more toward an edgy feel).
Tip: There are many churches called CrossRoads, and two particularly within a 2-hour drive from us. So, to set us apart, we will want to make sure the "R" in CrossRoads is kept capitalized. Another option (not required) would be to have our location (Moss Bluff) mentioned, but not too prominent.
Color: We want to steer clear of traditional, church-y colors (ex. maroon, navy, hunter green).
Lastly: We would also like the designer's suggestion on what fonts they would recommend to go with this logo (both a readable font for text-heavy designs and a good headline font). We will have the need for backgrounds (ex. web, slides, flyers, etc) to go with the logo, so if you feel like throwing us a bone and submitting one along with your logo design, of course we would welcome it!
Descubre cómo funciona un concurso de diseño u obtén más información sobre nuestros servicios de diseño de logo.


text:
French GCSE Vocab -AQA
App Details
In-App Purchases - No
In-App Advertising - No
Communication Skills
Screenshots for French GCSE Vocab -AQA
Publisher's Description
cRaMiT French GCSE Vocab for AQA contains over 1100 French>English words based on the vocabulary lists provided by the exam board to ensure the best preparation for your French GCSE listening and reading exams. Contains a separate section for higher tier vocabulary for students aiming up to A/A*.
Now you can practise your French vocab wherever you are; in the car, on the bus or even whilst relaxing in the bath.
✓ No-nonsense revision: simply choose a topic to view a list of words and tick off as you learn.
✓ No typing required: simply click on a word to reveal its English translation.
✓ You are in control: move words to and from your learnt words list as you see fit.
✓ Motivation by progression: clearly see how you are progressing within each topic.
✓ Targeted revision for speedy results.
✓ Simple, fast and effective.


text:
The Internet is erupting in applause for Jennifer Aniston.
The actress penned an essay for the Huffington Post, responding to the rumor that has plagued her for years and commenting on the damage that such objectification does to womankind in general.
First up: Those pernicious pregnancy reports and the tabloids that persist in running them.
U.S. & World
"For the record, I am not pregnant," Aniston wrote. "What I am is fed up. I'm fed up with the sport-like scrutiny and body shaming that occurs daily under the guise of 'journalism,' the 'First Amendment' and "celebrity news."
Last month, pics taken of Aniston--who earlier this year was People's Most Beautiful issue cover girl--and husband Justin Theroux on vacation made a splash because the actress had eaten lunch and then walked around in a bikini.
"This past month in particular has illuminated for me how much we define a woman's value based on her marital and maternal status," she continued later in the post. "The sheer amount of resources being spent right now by press trying to simply uncover whether or not I am pregnant (for the bajillionth time... but who's counting) points to the perpetuation of this notion that women are somehow incomplete, unsuccessful, or unhappy if they're not married with children. In this last boring news cycle about my personal life there have been mass shootings, wildfires, major decisions by the Supreme Court, an upcoming election, and any number of more newsworthy issues that 'journalists' could dedicate their resources towards."
"Here's where I come out on this topic: we are complete with or without a mate, with or without a child. We get to decide for ourselves what is beautiful when it comes to our bodies. That decision is ours and ours alone. Let's make that decision for ourselves and for the young women in this world who look to us as examples. Let's make that decision consciously, outside of the tabloid noise. We don't need to be married or mothers to be complete. We get to determine our own 'happily ever after' for ourselves."
Aniston is going to try, anyway.
Jennifer Aniston Is Married--Now Can We Accept That She's Happily Moved On?
"I have grown tired of being part of this narrative. Yes, I may become a mother some day, and since I'm laying it all out there, if I ever do, I will be the first to let you know. But I'm not in pursuit of motherhood because I feel incomplete in some way, as our celebrity news culture would lead us all to believe. I resent being made to feel 'less than' because my body is changing and/or I had a burger for lunch and was photographed from a weird angle and therefore deemed one of two things: 'pregnant' or 'fat.' Not to mention the painful awkwardness that comes with being congratulated by friends, coworkers and strangers alike on one's fictional pregnancy (often a dozen times in a single day)."
Aniston and Theroux will be celebrating their first wedding anniversary next month, their quiet nuptials last August finally putting a stop, more or less, to the eight years the actress had spent being portrayed as the scorned ex-wife of Brad Pitt --multiple relationships and her success not having done enough to make her seem less lovelorn.
She also expressed frustration with the constant (and sometimes even dangerous) paparazzi presence and the obsession with what her face and body look like from every angle.
"I am some kind of symbol to some people out there, then clearly I am an example of the lens through which we, as a society, view our mothers, daughters, sisters, wives, female friends and colleagues," Aniston continued. "The objectification and scrutiny we put women through is absurd and disturbing. The way I am portrayed by the media is simply a reflection of how we see and portray women in general, measured against some warped standard of beauty."
"Sometimes cultural standards just need a different perspective so we can see them for what they really are--a collective acceptance... a subconscious agreement. We are in charge of our agreement. Little girls everywhere are absorbing our agreement, passive or otherwise. And it begins early."
Stars' Powerful Quotes About Feminism
Aniston goes on to talk about how constant paparazzi scrutiny contributes to a warped and dehumanizing perspective of women.
"We use celebrity 'news' to perpetuate this dehumanizing view of females, focused solely on one's physical appearance, which tabloids turn into a sporting event of speculation," she wrote. "Is she pregnant? Is she eating too much? Has she let herself go? Is her marriage on the rocks because the camera detects some physical 'imperfection'?"
"I used to tell myself that tabloids were like comic books, not to be taken seriously, just a soap opera for people to follow when they need a distraction. But I really can't tell myself that anymore because the reality is the stalking and objectification I've experienced first-hand, going on decades now, reflects the warped way we calculate a woman's worth."
Not coincidentally, Aniston's essay comes out after Rene Zellweger was called out in Variety magazine for looking different than she used to; a Vanity Fair cover story profile on Margot Robbie came off more like a mash note; and a Pulitzer Prize-winning film critic wrote a bizarre piece in The New York Times that turned both Blake Lively and Kate Hudson into pretty faces with nothing behind them.
The Man-Handling of Blake Lively, Margot Robbie, Rene Zellweger and More: What's the Real Issue at Play?
And while Aniston had every reason to write this essay based solely on her own experiences, let alone those affecting her fellow women, it appears that she has picked up on this disheartening trend of human beings being attacked by a predatory tabloid media.
Body-shaming, single-shaming, childless-woman-shaming; Aniston has scarily experienced all of the shaming, and she doesn't even have social media.
"From years of experience, I've learned tabloid practices, however dangerous, will not change, at least not any time soon," she concluded. "What can change is our awareness and reaction to the toxic messages buried within these seemingly harmless stories served up as truth and shaping our ideas of who we are. We get to decide how much we buy into what's being served up, and maybe some day the tabloids will be forced to see the world through a different, more humanized lens because consumers have just stopped buying the bulls--t."
This perspective, the biggest slam yet from a normally very private Hollywood insider, may be just what those who still don't get it needed to hear.
Jennifer Aniston's Morning Routine Is Insane


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rodionos necesitaba un nuevo diseño de logotipo y lanzó un concurso de diseño en 99designs.
Un ganador ha sido elegido entre 250 diseños de 64 diseñadores freelance.
We're a 5 year old company developing performance analysis and reporting software for large IT enterprises. Our customers are highly qualified, conservative but at the same time very loyal. The problems our software tools solve are complex because of sheer amount of data and interdependencies. At the same time, this data needs to be analyzed with precision and presented in a simple and efficient manner. Which is why there is room for our tools in this very competitive industry. Our new logo is the first step in refreshing our corporate identity (we're planning to refactor the web site, for example) and should help us attract new customers by communicating long-term sustainability and focus that large customers expect from their vendors.
The typical end-user is a system administrator, application owner or performance analysis/planner who needs to quickly access sophisticated analytics and historical reports to identify performance bottlenecks and to prepare for future upgrades.
We would like out new logo to correlate with the following primitives:
1. Nouns: enterprise, IT infrastructure, performance analysis, capacity planning
2. Adjectives: reliable, precise, scalable, optimized, available, flexible
3. Objects: server, network, grid, computer, graph, chart, trend (but try to avoid overused computer and pie-chart icons)
It should look nice when scaled to 20 pixels height so that it fits into top menu (see menu_logo.pdf)
It should be extensible with product names, e.g. [LOGO] AXIBASE REPORTER, or AXIBASE [LOGO] DESIGNER
It should not even closely resemble IBM logo (especially the logo of AIX, the operating system).
Examples we like:
http://www.sequoiacap.com/us/growth : jive-software, Pixelworks
http://www.sequoiacap.com/us/early : sipera-systems, palo alto, outright, opendns, nimble storage, marketlive, linkedin, infoblox, Bubble Motion
Descubre cómo funciona un concurso de diseño u obtén más información sobre nuestros servicios de diseño de logo.


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As the presidential campaign heats up, so does the energy rhetoric, and one of the most popular topics lately has been "energy independence."
As I noted in last week's column, Shell's recent setbacks in the Arctic serve as a reminder of the elusive nature of oil independence is. The projects we need to boost domestic production are more expensive and complicated than any in our history, and they will be prone to setbacks, as Shell has demonstrated. That doesn't mean we shouldn't be boosting domestic drilling — we need to continue the successes of recent years — but we need a realistic understanding of where things are heading.
As the Chronicle's Jennifer Dlouhy noted in a story Sunday, achieving energy independence for the U.S. doesn't necessarily guarantee a drop in energy prices. But more important, is it even possible for the U.S. to bring its oil imports to zero? Consider what it would take:
We currently import slightly less than 9 million barrels of oil a day. Prudhoe Bay, the biggest field ever found in the U.S., never produced more than 1.5 million barrels a day. We've found one field that size in about 100 years worth of drilling in this country. To close the import gap, then, we need to find a field or fields that produce six times as much as the biggest find ever. While we don't know how much oil lurks below the east and west coasts, beneath the Arctic waters or deep in the Gulf of Mexico, or remains trapped in shale formations, it's unlikely that all of it combined would produce 9 million barrels a day.
And if it did, it would take more than a decade for much of it to come into production, so it's not going to happen in this election cycle, or even the next one.
Let's say, though, that we managed to do all that. Then what? As Shell's Arctic setbacks demonstrate, these types of projects are expensive and time-consuming. Many also have steep decline rates — the rate at which production falls after the initial discovery. Combating the steep decline rates means the need to drill even more wells, just to maintain the same level of production. As I noted recently in discussing Republican Mitt Romney's energy plan, decline rates in the Eagle Ford Shale can top 40 percent, which means it will take almost 800 new wells, at a cost of about $8 billion, just to keep production at the current level. Energy independence isn't a static goal, it's a level that once achieved, has to be maintained by continuing to develop more reserves than we use.
Then there's the final kicker, which brings us back to the price issue. Long before the U.S. achieved oil independence, the decline in imports from the world's biggest crude importer would drive prices down on the world market, at least in the short term. Suddenly, the expensive domestic drilling projects wouldn't be economical because imports would be cheaper. So we'd once again be back to importing.
Oil independence shouldn't be the goal. The goal should be a long-term, diverse fuel mix. That will make our economy better able to weather price shocks in any single commodity. We need to end this herky-jerky, reactionary approach to energy development, and the first step is to take a more realistic look at existing resource picture and stop deluding ourselves about oil independence.


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FDA officials announced this week(www.fda.gov) that restrictions the agency had placed on the diabetes medication rosiglitazone (Avandia) in September 2010 are being lifted based on recent research findings that failed to confirm a link between use of the drug and an increased risk for cardiovascular events.
Those restrictions, based on a signal of increased myocardial infarction risk that was found in a meta-analysis of clinical trials first reported in 2007, focused on limiting use of the drug only to patients whose diabetes could not be controlled with other medications. To that end, the agency directed Avandia's manufacturer, GlaxoSmithKline (GSK), to develop a restricted access program as part of a risk evaluation and mitigation strategy (REMS) for the drug.
In accordance with the REMS, physicians were required to attest to and document a patient's eligibility to receive the drug, and patients were required to review safety information describing the cardiovascular concerns associated with rosiglitazone. Additional restrictions were placed on how the drug was dispensed.
The same restrictions were applied to the combination drugs marketed as Avandamet, which contains rosiglitazone and metformin, and Avandaryl, which contains rosiglitazone and glimepiride.
At that time, the FDA also ordered GSK to conduct an independent review of the company's Rosiglitazone Evaluated for Cardiac Outcomes and Regulation of Glycaemia in Diabetes (RECORD) clinical trial because of concerns about potential bias. The RECORD trial was designed to study the cardiovascular safety of rosiglitazone compared to that of other diabetes drugs.
In its recent announcement, the agency stated that the readjudicated RECORD trial results affirmed the trial's original findings and showed no elevated risk of heart attack or death in patients being treated with rosiglitazone versus standard-of-care diabetes medications. FDA officials also canceled their previous requirement that GSK conduct an additional clinical trial comparing rosiglitazone with pioglitazone (Actos), the only other approved drug in the thiazolidinedione class, and to standard diabetes drugs.
"Our actions today reflect the most current scientific knowledge about the risks and benefits of this drug," said Janet Woodcock, M.D., director of the FDA's Center for Drug Evaluation and Research, in a Nov. 25 FDA news release. "Given these new results, our level of concern is considerably reduced; thus, we are requiring the removal of certain prescribing restrictions."
Changes to the product labels for rosiglitazone-containing medications are yet to be finalized, according to the agency, but it anticipates that the new indication will state that the drug may be used along with diet and exercise to improve glycemic control in patients with type 2 diabetes, an indication that is similar to that for other diabetes drugs currently on the market.
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PLEDGE -PL/sql Experts Determined to Give their Expertise
Let's face it: not all developers are equal. We have widely varied levels of skill, experience and communications abilities. Any such group of professionals has a tiny subset of members who are perceived as the "elders" (aka, gurus, experts, etc.) -- and age has little to do with this status. I feel strongly that those of us in the PL/SQL world who are deeply experienced should come together to make our contributions more visible and widely available to the worldwide PL/SQL community.
Disclosure: I am especially desirous of a group like this, and will benefit greatly from it, because I cannot possibly answer all the questions that come my way (either because my time is limited or the question involves how PL/SQL code interacts with technologies like XML or Java, about which I have little experience). I would like to formalize the group of people I can turn to, to assist me in such matters. But I certainly don't want to limit it just to helping me answer my questions.
What is PLEDGE?
PLEDGE is (would be) a group of highly experienced PL/SQL developers who are committed to sharing their knowledge and code with others, at no cost.
I bet you are already thinking one or more of the following:
- Should PLEDGE be a part of IOUG?
- Should PLEDGE be or is it the same as a PL/SQL SIG?
As to whether it should be a part of IOUG, I don't have strong feelings about that right now. See my comments in the section titled Resources below. I am not sure that this would be consistent with an IOUG entity.
How would PLEDGE work?
Here are some initial thoughts/guidelines...
1. PLEDGE has members and guests.
2. A PLEDGE member is a PL/SQL expert who has agreed to contribute her or his time/effort to improve the skills, productivity and code quality of the worldwide PL/SQL community.
3. A PLEDGE guest is a developer who has registered with PLEDGE so as to take advantage of the resources offered by PLEDGE, participate in forums and so on.
4. There is no cost associated with any level of participation in PLEDGE.
5. A PLEDGE member or user can post a challenge/requirement to PLEDGE, and then a member can volunteer to implement/guide/answer that challenge.
6. All code that is posted on the PLEDGE website needs to be documented, tested and testable (preferably with a Qute harness; check out www.unit-test.com for my latest and greatest product/concept).
Resources needed
This community needs to be supported by commercial vendors who are committed to the Oracle space. I do not believe that we can make it work the way it should with only volunteer time contributed, though it is certainly a possibility....
I do believe that any number of vendors could provide a base of support, including Quest and Oracle.
Areas of expertise
We need general PL/SQL pros, but also people who have specialized in various areas of technology that commonly connect to PL/SQL, including but not limited to:
- Java-PL/SQL interface
- .Net-PL/SQL interface
- VB-PL/SQL interface
- Using XML in PL/SQL
- Oracle Applications and PL/SQL
- Object-Oriented development with PL/SQL


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Sen. John Kerry, President Barack Obama�s nominee for secretary of state, collected pledges of support Thursday and testified at his confirmation hearing that U.S. foreign policy should be defined by a helping hand as well as military strength.
The Massachusetts Democrat discussed Iran, Syria, climate change and a variety of issues with members of the Foreign Relations Committee at a hearing that recalled an unusual American life � son of a diplomat, Navy lieutenant who volunteered for Vietnam, anti-war protester, five-term senator, unsuccessful nominee for president, and Obama�s unofficial envoy.
�American foreign policy is not defined by drones and deployments alone,� Kerry said in outlining his views. �We cannot allow the extraordinary good we do to save and change lives to be eclipsed entirely by the role we have had to play since Sept. 11, a role that was thrust upon us.�
Kerry spoke out strongly for dealing with climate change, providing food and energy security and humanitarian assistance. He also spoke of robust foreign aid, but he insisted that the country must get its fiscal house in order to lead in the world.
Faced with Iran�s nuclear program, Kerry said the United State will do what it must to prevent Tehran from obtaining a nuclear weapon, but he also signaled that diplomacy remains a viable option.
The senator said he was hopeful that the U.S. and other nations could make progress on the diplomatic front, but that Tehran needs to relent and agree to intrusive inspections.
�If their program is peaceful, they can prove it,� he said.
In an unexpected exchange, Kerry found himself defending Obama�s pick of Republican Chuck Hagel to be the next defense secretary against GOP criticism.
Sen. Bob Corker, the senior Republican on the panel, expressed concerns about Hagel�s support for an 80 percent reduction of U.S. nuclear weapons, a major issue for the Tennessee lawmaker and his home state.
�I know Chuck Hagel. And I think he is a strong, patriotic former senator, and he will be a strong secretary of defense,� Kerry said.
On Syria, Kerry was asked about his outreach to President Bashar Assad, now an international pariah after months of civil war and unending violence against his citizens.
Kerry said there was a moment where Syria reached out to the West but that the moment has long passed.
�History caught up to us. That never happened. And it�s now moot, because he has made a set of judgments that are inexcusable, that are reprehensible, and I think is not long for remaining as the head of state in Syria,� the senator said. �I think the time is ticking.�
Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., a fierce critic of Obama�s policy on Syria, said the status quo is unacceptable with the United Nations estimating that 60,000 have been killed and the heavy influx of refugees in Jordan and Turkey.
After a recent visit to the refugee camps, McCain warned that Syrians frustrated with the U.S. response will be a recruitment target for extremists.
�We can do a lot more without putting American boots on the ground,� McCain said. �Otherwise, we will be judged harshly by history.�
Kerry said it was imperative to continue discussions with Russia and others in dealing with Syria but that �I don�t have optimism.� Menendez noted that Kerry, if confirmed, would be the first senator on the panel in a century to ascend to the Cabinet post. President William McKinley appointed Ohio Sen. John Sherman to the post.


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I can say this for 1988's Italian spookhouse freakout Witchery (aka La Casa 4, aka Witchcraft)--it doesn't believe in mollycoddling its audience. A lot of movies come on slowly, set up an establishing shot, introduce a couple of characters, give the audience some idea of the situation before easing our posteriors gently into the churning, steamy waters of the hot tub that is the plot.
Director Fabrizio Laurenti (credited for export as "Martin Newlin") says fuck that noise. If you want to learn to swim, the best way is to strap yourself to a catapult and get launched right into the middle of Lake Eerie! Sink or swim, baby! Film's a wastin'!
Splashing down into the Great Watery WTF, we open on a pregnant woman with BIG 80s hair and an old-fashioned nightgown running across a craggy wasteland, terror in her eyes. We see that she's being pursued by an angry mob (GOD I love angry mobs), with pitchforks and pilgrim hats in full effect. Then we jump to...a jewelry commercial? Close ups of a bejeweled brooch or hatpin dazzle the camera with its shiny shiny brightness. Then--hey! We're rushing into an abandoned house!
Before we can appropriately admire Laurenti's odd camera angles and cool shot compositions (long halls of doors, cobwebs swaying in the breeze, furniture stacked strangely in empty rooms) the mother-to-be and her pursuers are jogging up the stairs and down the hall where a wide window offers a lovely view of the sea. Quicker than you can shout "Zygotes Away!" the pregnant lady has launched herself out the window and...Linda Blair wakes up panting from her horrible, horrible dream!
her last ride on the Possessionmobile and still sporting the same stylish hairdo from that flick--a hairstyle not unlike the aforeseen Flying Fetus-bearer's. Hmm... When she gets out of bed in a similar white nightgown that shows she TOO is pregnant, the astute viewer might begin to ponder whether there's some sort of connection...
But ponder quick, because next thing you know we're back at the abandoned house, where yet another young woman is walking around, admiring the shot compositions and corridor tracks we already enjoyed moments ago. (It must be said that the set here is great--a nice abandoned seaside resort, full of long hallways and dusty furniture--and Laurenti uses it fairly well.) She happens upon a broken window--the same one from Linda's dream!--and notes the broken quadrant where Mum left the building. Just when you think things might start to come together...
UP JUMPS THE HOFF! Yes, TV legend and Mad Movie veteran David Hasselhoff pops up, camera in hand, shooting the hotel for a book his girlfriend is writing on (wait for it) Witchcraft! NOW it's all starting to make sense, I think...
But then we're back in the city, where Linda Blair is going through a shopping montage of kids' toys. She settles on a Sesame Street cassette recorder and heads out into the street, working her shoulder-padded coat and stylish 80s boots past a construction site, when she is suddenly attacked by an I-Beam! The falling Looney Tunes-style construction materials miss her by inches, and the creepy-enough Goblinesque score seems to imply there's Witchery afoot here, even however-many miles from the seaside resort. Or not. Maybe. It's unclear at this point.
a wrinkly, aristocratic-looking woman with a strangely familiar jeweled brooch. We get some terrible acting from both parties (the kid sounds like Froggy from Our Gang but with a quarter the dramatic chops, and the woman speaks English like she was reciting it phonetically under hypnosis), the upshot of which is the kid gets his ball back. Do you hear seagulls?
Why yes! We're back at the seaside resort, where Hoff's incredibly mushy-mouthed girlfriend is reading from either an ancient text or a Stephen King novel without its jacket, something about how witches loved to hunt down and possess virgins in order to get up to evil doin's. "See?" Hoff says, pointedly, "Even your poet knows virginity is not normal for a grown woman!" Sexual tension! After another arch shot about how wrong it is "being a virgin at YOUR age," which is met by a squinty-eyed pout and more mealy, unintelligible line readings, we cut to...
Linda's parents' apartment in the city! Although it takes us a minute, we soon figure out that Linda's folks are thinking about buying the seaside resort where we've already spent so much time, remodeling it and maybe selling it for a profit. Linda--who has yet to speak a real line of dialogue--continues her dumb show by snuggling with the little freckled toddler in the corner (we later learn he's her brother, Tommy, though her mom looks implausibly beyond childbearing years), who seems to like his casette recorder. That little bit of business done, it's time for...
A SHOWER SCENE OUTTA NOWHERE! A lovely blonde of whose acquaintance we've not yet had the pleasure is standing under the tap, shoulders bared in the manner that tells you right away that's all you're getting, bucko. She gets a phone call (two, actually--her loser boyfriend doesn't answer the first one), which it turns out is from Linda's folks, who need a new architect for their plans, which the hot blonde just so happens to be. She agrees to accompany them to the resort to scope it out. Her loser boyfriend says petulantly, "I'll never understand which you like better--building, or sex." She settles the question by straddling him and dropping her towel. Character development wahey!
Back at the resort, the Hoff is still on the wild cherry hunt. His main tactic--long conversations that boil down to "I'm VERY concerned about you and your continued virginity!"--strangely doesn't seem to be bearing fruit. Meanwhile the witch from the park appears via superimposed portraiture in a couple of scenes, and also steps in to rock an empty cradle before vanishing. Why? Wherefore? What? Suppositions abound, but Laurenti still stubbornly refuses to give the viewer any help.
Back in the city, Blair's folks visit the realtor's office (you can tell because of the HUGE Monopoly Boardwalk card print on the wall) to pick up the realtor's Jerry Lewis-lookalike son for a trip out to the resort that they're thinking about buying...or have already bought. I mean, they've hired a nympho architect--you don't do that site unseen, do you? ANYWAY, our The Haunting-esque crowd now assembled, it's time to get everybody out to the island so the Witchery can really commence, right?
Well, not quite. First little Tommy has to have an encounter with Random Wheelchair Girl in the port town, who says something vague about legends of witches on the island before cruising off. Then cut to the resort itself, which is suddenly in the middle of the freakin' AURORA BOREALIS! As the wonderfully cartoony illumination dies away, an excited Hoff tells his virgin that he got "The Famous Witch's Light" (wot?) on film for her! Score! She's GOT to give it up now...
an alcoholic sailor is ferrying the rest of the group out. Upon landing the superstitious seaman warns them he won't hang around after dark, and then sees the witch's face reflected in his whiskey bottle...which strangely DOESN'T inspire him to shake his head comically, throw the bottle away and swear off the hooch. (Missed opportunity, Fabrizio!)
Inside the house, Tommy meets his old playmate the Witch and doesn't seem terribly surprised (he's not even upset when she goes all old-school Snuffleupagus on him and disappears when the grownups come around), Blair's dad leers creepily at the Hawt Architect, and the Realtor's son tells about the old lady who used to own the place, a Nora Desmond-type silent film has-been who nobody seems to know what happened to. Meanwhile the sailor gets netted in his own rigging and the boat idles out to sea, leaving our intrepid real estate customers high and dry. Upon discovering their plight and returning to the house, they find Hoff and the Virgin, and NOW we're ready for Witchery to occur!
Blair goes upstairs to pop some kind of pregnancy relief pills in the bathroom, and gets pulled down the drain (career metaphor?) into a psychedelic vortex down to the basement, where she witnesses scenes of spookhouse horror perpetrated by the witch and two elderly, smelly-looking minions. (In the first effects set-piece in the film, the two homeless tatterdemalions pull out a rubber fetus, play a game of TUG-OF-BABY, and then gnaw on its little limbs most distressingly. Don't ask why, just ROLL with it!) She wakes up with the family around her Wizard of Oz style. Time to lay off those pills, Lindy.
gets her own psychedelic transport to the underworld, and Hoff finds some film reels and a projector that give show us the witch walking around in a Bergman landscape before replaying the opening scene of the movie in glowing black and white. Downstairs in Hell, Mom's getting a lecture from the witch about "The Three Doors" she has to open, the first being the Door of Avarice. Opening the door seems to necessitate sewing Mom's mouth shut in a long, bloody, gleefully sadistic scene, and then stuffing the bitch up the chimney so that she's roasted when the rest of the crowd gets cold and breaks up some furniture for a fire! No one smells the burning hair or searing flesh, but hey, that salt air has a way of freshening everything, I guess.
Meanwhile Tommy's allowed to wander through the HUGE resort all by himself, and nobody seems too worried about him until it's necessary to the plot. They all turn in for the night. Hoff makes his move on his virgin authoress and is summarily DENIED, further straining our already fragile suspension of disbelief. Submeanwhile, the realtor and the architect GET IT AWN, only to be whisked away in flagrante de psychedelico and sacrificed to open the DOOR OF LUST. (They're tortured by hoboes--such are the wages of sin--and the girl is strangled while the realtor is crucified upside down on the beach and set on fire! That'll teach 'im to sign substandard loans!) Pops--looking to be a voyeur if he can't be a playa--finds the architect's body IMPALED ON A WALL-MOUNTED SWORDFISH, which is unexpected and kinda cool.
Now it's the virgin's turn for a dream sequence, and it's a doozy--surrounded by the witch and her suddenly-numerous coven, the girl finds herself face-to-face with SATAN, who unlike Hoff is not about to take no for an answer. It's another sadistic, lengthy, and more-than-a-little disturbing scene as the Devil (here a skinny pale Germanic dude with slicked back hair and a half-dissovled face) mounts the screaming girl and introduces his demon seed into her previously untapped vagina. Also disturbing: the puffball-like nipples displayed by Mush Mouth (the girl, not the demon). The girl wakes up screaming, naked, and bleeding from the crotch--which, you know, is never good.
the random wheelchair girl from earlier! And no one else, apparently. The girl wheels into her parents' bedroom to tell them the news, only to find Mom passed out drunk in the waterbed while Dad smokes and reads The Godfather. Seriously. He tells her to quit bothering him and wheel herself back to bed, which seems a bit harsh. In fact, it's almost a continuing theme in this movie--the shocking unconcern of grown-ups for the kids in the movie, even those with special needs. I mean, has anyone asked about Tommy lately? (Near the end of the movie, the survivors actually get all the way out to the boat before remembering they need to go find the kid--leading of course to tragedy.)
After Blair's dad has a bloody hemorrhage we get some ineffective searching (and acting) by RealtorChrist's dad and the local cops, Linda Blair finally gets to do the scene she was hired for--possessed by the witch (which witch? The Nora Desmond one, or the one from the credits? Are they the same? Will that diamond brooch ever pay off at all? Where's my belt?), she confronts Hoff and his Ex-Virgin and explains that thanks to getting the blood of a virgin, the doors of hell can now open. (Hoff tactfully refuses this opportunity to point out to his girlfriend that none of this would be happening if she'd just PUT OUT.) It leads to the appropriate climax where the Hoff makes the ultimate sacrifice (NOOOOOOO!) and Tommy reappears with a deus ex Sesame Street to spare the life of the mushmouthed girl. But once rescued, she's got another surprise in store, and a fabulous last line to put the cap on things.
Witchery...but maybe because of the narrative incoherence, the many loose ends, and the stuff that just doesn't make a damn lick of sense, it often feels like there's not. Blair and Hasselhoff are the only actors worth their salt in the whole thing, and when they have to interact with the rest of the cast, their superior ability to read lines and pretend they're having emotions just puts everyone else to shame. Even taking his age into account, the little boy is AWFUL; and the mush-mouthed virgin is even worse--that is when she's intelligible at all, which isn't often. And Blair, even though her basic acting competence here shines like Academy Award-level work by comparison to the rest of the cast, is really underused in my opinion.
In the plus column, you do get some cool and sometimes disturbing effects work, a nicely filmed creepy set, some psychadelic transportation, and Hoff doing a random line in a Scottish accent for no good reason, so it's not all bad. And even though very little of it makes any sense, the disorientation was entertaining for long stretches, kind of like when you're spinning on the merry-go-round at the park and the dizziness feels like drunkeness. Of course when it stops you're likely to spew ice cream all over your shoes, but while it lasts, it's fun.
Joe D'Amato blurbs on the back of the DVD that Witchery is "the best of the Ghosthouse series," and I guess he would know. As for me, such praise doesn't make me want to rush out and see the rest right away, but I did find some stuff to enjoy here, so I give it a possibly over-generous 2 thumbs. See it if you want. :)
Note--the Nympho Architect is played by Catherine Hickland, who not only starred in several soaps and guest starred on Knight Rider, but was actually Mrs. David Hasselhoff at the time of filming! Maybe that explains why she kept the skin exposure to a minimum, and why Hoff's girlfriend had to remain a virgin.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Witchery (1988): or, Witches and Rainbows and Shit
Posted by The Vicar of VHS at 11:23 AM
Labels: '80s, 2-3 thumbs, Linda Blair, Possession, The Hoff, Witchcraft
6 comments:
- Tenebrous Kate said...
This is a truly masterful review of an absolutely dreadful movie that's become a staple during Tenebrous Movie Night, Vicar-my-dear.
I love the fact that people trade lines that appear to've been written on cue-cards just off-screen, as if the scriptwriter is winging it and coming up with plot development on the fly. "OK, abandoned hotel, old German lady, a bunch of baby dolls, some chicken wire, stage blood--what sense can I make of this?"
I'm not sure if the kid who's playing Tommy is really a bad actor or not. I mean, clearly he's playing a retard in this film. That's the only explanation for the things he gets up to. It's really a nuanced portrayal of the mentally underprivelaged--watch again and I think you'll agree.
>>"Muhshnffl frunsch muffawuffa BAYBEE?"
If you hadn't already proposed to *me*, I'd have to ask for your hand in marriage. I'm DYIN' over here! :D
- September 5, 2008 at 1:18 PM
- The Costuminatrix said...
"deus ex Sesame Street"
Marvelous. Your robes of state will now be sewn gratis.
The dreadful child actor is Michael Manchester and apparently this year he popped up again in a movie about the Alamo. As a general. Can you imagine?
- September 5, 2008 at 1:28 PM
- The Duke of DVD said...
Tug-of-Baby and random Scottish accents you say? Dearest Vicar, once again you bring us the best in cinema, and by "best" I mean, of course, anything that stars The Hoff. Why he doesn't have a closet full of Oscars is anybody's guess. Politics, I assume.
Bravo, sir. Bravo.
- September 5, 2008 at 1:44 PM
You know, I just discovered, while searching for a title to a movie I wanted to mention in passing on Tenebrous Kate's site (which sits in comment-approval limbo), that I in fact own Witchery (it was in a box set with Jess Franco's Faceless, which was worth the price of the box). I was going to watch the new Portuguese (as in from Portugal -- no Brazilians were harmed in the making of the movie) horror movie Coisa Ruim, but I may have to watch Witchery instead.
Oh, hell. Who am I kidding? Whether I get to Witchery tonight depends on how long the alcohol takes to take hold.
- September 5, 2008 at 8:12 PM
- Mr. Karswell said...
And when the hell do I get my turn on the Possessionmobile? All this daily devotion to The Devil and he keeps on just driving by and waving. At least let me honk the horn or help clean some souls off the windshield.
If you haven't mailed my dvds back can you throw this in with 'em as a loaner?
- September 8, 2008 at 11:47 AM
- The Vicar of VHS said...
>>If you haven't mailed my dvds back can you throw this in with 'em as a loaner?
That depends on whether I get a couple more souls to fill up the tank on the ol' Possessionmobile. That thing's a GUZZLER! ;)
- September 8, 2008 at 12:35 PM


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Packing up the wagon
What it means to 'pack the wagon' has changed over the past couple hundred years. Today, it might mean heading to the beach with floaties and beach bags. Two hundred years ago, though, packing your wagon meant fitting as many of your belongings and as much food as you could in a covered wagon. Think Oregon Trail. Think sleeping in a two-person tent with six people. Think staring at the back end of a horse all day long–that'll give a new meaning to the term road trip. Imagine wanting to go to Michigan that badly.
Getting a Feel for the Past
Settlers began coming to Michigan from the east between 1800 and 1830. First, they came by wagon and horseback, and then after the completion of the Erie Canal in 1825, many came by barge to Buffalo and then by steamboat to Detroit. From there, they again used land transportation to travel further inland. Many settlers also sailed by boat on the Great Lakes and settled in towns along the shores. After 1830, the population of Michigan grew very fast. See the growth in this chart:
Settlers began to move to the Northwest Territory of Michigan from the East for many reasons. Some came to buy inexpensive farm land, others to join relatives already here. A sense of adventure brought young and single men. Later (1840s+), they came to fill jobs (for example, recruiters went to large eastern cities or advertised in eastern newspapers for men to work in the mining and lumbering industries).
Visualize the Journey
- Students will make choices based on reason and practicality.
- Students will measure various objects and fit them into a defined space.
Key Components: You Will Need….
Removable tape or chalk; yard stick or ruler; objects that can be found in the classroom, brought from home or around the school–backpacks, lunchbags, jackets, shoes, desk chairs, basketballs, class pet, etc.
To Begin the Journey, We Must Assess the Space: Packing Means Prioritizing
Divide students into groups of 4-8, depending on the size of the class and the space available to work with. You will need enough space for each group to mark an area on the floor approximately the size of a wagon bed-about 10 to 12 feet long by 4 to 6 feet wide by 2 feet high. Use removable duct or masking tape or chalk to outline the area.
Ask the students imagine that they are members of a pioneer family coming to Michigan to buy a farm in 1830. Have students make up a family profile. How many people are in the family? What are their ages and sizes? Who does the most work, and who does the least? Who needs to eat the most, and who needs to eat the least?
Create a list of roles for each group. Different roles will have different decision-making tasks about what to bring. Each group might make up a different list, e.g., household items (coats & backpacks), tools to start farm (pencils, rulers?), children's things, clothing, etc. After lists are made, have groups report back and write lists on chalkboard.
Divide the items into three lists:
- Absolutely necessary—must take
- Things we would take if there is room, useful but could do without (e.g., a special piece of furniture);
- Fun items, toys, "extra" clothes.
With the measured area in sight, the class should come to an agreement on what will be included. What is a necessity? Do you need to bring your desk chairs? Or would a basketball be more appropriate? How about the class pet? Why? What things on the list can be left behind? Estimate the measurement of household items, tools, or measure similar items at home. Decide what will be taken so that all will fit, including people. Will everyone ride?
Talk About It
1. How did you go about choosing what to take? If members of the group disagreed, how did you make the decision? How do you think the members of an early settlement family made their decisions?
2. Would settlers have taken livestock with them to Michigan?
3. Choose a year in settlement times (e.g., 1840). Find out how far people traveled in a day at that time. Decide how long it would have taken you to travel the same distance you would cover on a field trip from your school to the Michigan Historical Museum in Lansing. (See the "Other Resources" tab for Lansing B. Swan's journal about his trip across Michigan.)
- Erie Canal: A waterway around 360 miles long constructed across central New York state from Albany to Buffalo used for travel and shipping. It is now part of the New York State Canals.
- Necessity: Something that cannot be done without.
Michigan Social Studies Content Expectations
This lesson presents an opportunity to address, in part, these standards:
- 3.H3.0.1 – Identify questions historians ask in examining the past in Michigan (e.g., What happened? When did it happen? Who was involved? How and why did it happen.
- 3.H3.0.2 – Explain how historians use primary and secondary sources to answer questions about the past.
- 4.G1.0.1 – Identify question geographers ask in examining the United States (e.g., Where is it? What is it like there? How is it connected to other places?)


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My Advice? Don't Blame State Taxpayers
I don't have any great advice to offer those going through the college acceptance wringer, other than to make sure that going to college—and doing college‐level work—is really what you want to do. If it's not, don't waste your time and money; like so many who've gone before you, you'll likely end up with no degree, a degree you don't want to use, and quite possibly lots of debt.
That gets me to my main point: Blaming high tuition prices on state legislatures, as University of South Florida education professor Sherman Dorn—but hardly just Mr. Dorn—does is simply wrong. State and local appropriations to public colleges and universities have risen substantially over the last 25 years.
According to the latest data from the State Higher Education Executive Officers, inflation‐adjusted state and local outlays to colleges for general operations rose from $57.7 billion in 1986 to $74.2 billion in 2011, a 29 percent increase. That's "increase," not "decrease."
The one way you could characterize state and local funding as decreasing is on a per‐pupil basis, but that doesn't reflect the heartless budget cutting Mr. Dorn implicates. It reflects huge enrollment increases—enrollment that often ends with no degree or appreciable learning. And even on a per‐pupil basis it would be wrong to write as if we've seen decades of constant cuts: Spending tends to go up and down with the business cycle, and 2001 saw record high state and local spending per pupil for the 25‐year period.
I hope students waiting to hear from colleges have to sweat things out as little as possible. I also hope people will stop wrongly turning up the heat on state and local taxpayers. When you look at the data, high prices clearly aren't their fault
C/P from the National Journal's "Education Experts" blog.


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DoomYoshi wrote:rishaed: the Shoggoth probably had the same WC as the Elder Things. Why are you so adamant that nobody else can?
Also, are you sure your action successfully targeted your intended target?
I think jumping on saf is a bit premature.
No because I never got my result PM from /. It will have to wait until I get that PM to know if it was successful.
fp'd by spiesr


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Nick Jonas Reveals Which Jonas Brother 'Initiated' the Band's Breakup [VIDEO]by Michelle McGahan | PopCrush
Nick Jonas is on the rise with his hot new sound and his hot new TV show, but before he divulged details about his smokin' solo career, the youngest Jonas Brother revealed some pretty crucial details about the band's decision to break up — including which brother initiated it.
"We closed that chapter together. It really was a group decision," Jonas told MTV News, before quickly admitting, "I initiated the conversation because it needed to be had. We just reached a point where we weren't creating the kind of music we needed to create to really progress. It wasn't really healthy in that respect anymore."
While fans were left devastated by the brothers' decision, everyone is psyched to see the guys' next moves — and for Nick, that includes a solo album coming out this fall and 'Kingdom,' his intense DirecTV show.
"We're all going to have our steps towards the future to define what our next moves are, and mine have sort of fallen into place this year with the show and the music in a great organic way," he explained to MTV.
While Nick remains close to Kevin and Joe, he has purposely distanced his new music from his brothers.
"I think they've each heard, like, one or two new songs from the album," he said. "… I felt like in a lot of ways it's mine and that's something I really wanted to protect until I was ready to share it with the world."
And included on the record are some songs that reflect the guys' evolving relationships as they worked through the difficult band breakup.
"There's a couple of songs that touch on trust and fear and family specifically," Jonas shared. "… My life has changed so dramatically and my relationship with my family has evolved into what it is today and it definitely wasn't easy. … but I feel like, you know, at the end of the day we all love each other."
Peep These Celebs Who Look Just Like Disney Characters


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