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tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50879072016-08-29T13:35:44.489-07:00Back of the Cereal BoxDrew email@example.com://feeds.feedburner.com/BackOfTheCerealBox?format=skinBackOfTheCerealBoxhttps://feedburner.google.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5087907.post-29877192236429528592016-08-27T13:06:00.001-07:002016-08-29T11:37:42.594-07:00Revenge of the RagmanToday I'd like to share with you something that's terrified me for twenty-five years. You're welcome in advance.

Many times when I was a kid, I'd end up watching a strange movie on Channel 36, the local indie station that aired pretty much nothing but strange movies in addition to reruns of Mama's Family and Matlock. This is the same station that allowed me to watch a slasher movie re-telling of The Phantom of the Opera in which Molly Shannon played Meg Giry and also The Horror at 37,000 Feet, a TV movie that had William Shatner battling a poltergeist on a luxury jet. Neither of these scary movies is the one that lingered the most, however; that honor goes to The Nutcracker Fantasy, a Sanrio-produced, stop motion-animated version of The Nutcracker from 1979.

I've written about it before on this blog, and I explained how stop motion is always unsettling to me, but this movie in particular got to me as a result of the Ragman, a demonic boogeyman who appears at the beginning of the film for the single purpose of terrifying any children plunked in front of this film by well-meaning adults who thought a Nutcracker adaptation would be family-friendly. The Ragman is a crooked old ghost straight of Luigi's Mansion who stands several stories tall as he shambles down the moonlit city streets, peering in windows to check for young children who have stayed up past their bedtime. Should he spot any, he teleports into their home and transforms them into mice.

There's a lot more that's weird about The Nutcracker Fantasy, but this one scene always stood out to me as something that seemed needlessly horrifying in what is ostensibly a film for children. And based on the Google hits I still get on the old post, I'm not the only one who thinks so—nor am I the only one who has been looking for a high-quality version of this scene. But just last year, Sanrio produced a new transfer of the film, along with a new Japanese dub. So I stumbled through Amazon.com's Japanese site to ordered one, ripped it and uploaded the scene, just so you all could see how beautifully scary it is.

Enjoy!

I've paired it with the audio track from the American version, from a YouTube clip that had previously been the best available version of the scene online. No longer! The American voice cast featured Melissa Gilbert, Christopher Lee, Jo Anne Worley, and Eva Gabor, BTW, but you can't hear any of them in this clip.

I've yet to decide what I'm going to do with the rest of the ripped film, but don't be surprised if you see it surface on this blog sooner or later.

Nostalgic nightmare fuel, previously:

The Foul Horror of the Zombie Sandy Duncan

That One Brady Bunch Where Everybody Gets Shot to Death

Baby Doll Revisited

A Midnight Swim With Anthony Perkins

Ethel Gets Eaten: Nancy Cartwright and the Twilight Zone Movie

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Drew Mackiehttps://email@example.com://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2016/08/ragman-stop-motion-animated-nutcracker-video.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5087907.post-66301616447081999312016-08-17T11:04:00.001-07:002016-08-17T11:31:10.477-07:00The DonnerYesterday, Madonna turned 58 years old. She was born in 1958, and it's been 58 years since that day. People posted about it on Facebook and Twitter, and it reminded me that I have no attachment to Madonna, especially not in the way a lot of gay dudes do. So I wrote the below little nothing on Facebook about that particular thing. I've decided I liked it enough to post here, just in case there's another gay guy out there who feels weird that he doesn't feel whatever magic most guys seem to, and who maybe needs to verbalize a reason for why not having memorized her entire catalogue doesn't necessarily make you a hater.

— What do you think about [specific Madonna reference]?
— It's, uh, good.
— Well then what do you think about [more obscure Madonna reference]?
— I… don't know. I'm actually not the biggest Madonna fan in the world.
— [gay gasp]
— It's not like I actively dislike her or anything. She just hasn't played the big role in my life that she's played in a lot of other guys' lives, you know?
— [gay inhale]
— Ask me about Cyndi Lauper, and we're good to go.
— [gay sputtering]
— But it's not like I don't think she's important. I mean, Madonna played a huge role in changing music and pop culture in general, and even if you're not into her music, you can't deny that she's made a bigger impact than most other people ever have, and that includes helping bring about music that I do like.
— [gay grimace]
— Also, I know she did a lot for gay visibility back in the day, so that's a huge deal too.
— [gay finger-waving]
— And given that she did that, I thinks it's weird how some people who have her whole catalogue memorized are also the first to drag her through the mud about her appearance and her age and all that, especially given that she looks pretty good for a 58-year-old. That always seemed like a paradox to me, or at least a weird situation where her appearance takes precedence over everything else she's done.
— [gay gagging]
— Also I don't like awards shows.
— [gay fainting]
— [sprouts eagle wings and flies into the sunset]

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Drew Mackiehttps://firstname.lastname@example.com://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2016/08/the-donner.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5087907.post-72486561269646727352016-08-15T12:24:00.001-07:002016-08-15T12:43:37.996-07:00Why I Grew a MustacheLast weekend I went to a barber for the first time in six years, not to attend to anything on the top of my head (as I've been seeing to that myself) but to allow a professional to tidy up my mustache. For a relatively small sum of money, my mustache got twenty minutes' worth of snipping and shaping, and I got some tips on how I can keep it looking good until the next time I make an appointment. I highly recommend it.

While sitting the the chair, the barber asked me why I chose to grow this thing in the first place, and I actually didn't know how to answer. Here, then, is every possible reason I can think of.

Because the fact that I've had a buzzed head for the last six years has limited what I can do to change my appearance, and growing a mustache seemed like a shorter-term investment than a face tattoo

Because manliness?

But similarly and separately to connect with my heritage as a gay homosexual

To repulse women

More specifically to make a woman in front of me in line at the grocery store glance back, glance back again and then none-too-discreetly slip into another line, presumably because she thought I looked like a creep

To look like a creep, maybe

To provoke female acquaintances who have never otherwise commented on my physical appearance to tell me that they hate my mustache and that I should remove it

Apparently to make twentysomethings on various apps begin conversations with "Hey, daddy" or something thereabouts

So that when I take an Instagram selfie and have it show up on my Tumblr my photo then gets reblogged on various fetish sites of varying levels of NSFW-ness

To give myself a single distinguishing physical characteristic (finally)

To draw attention away from my unpleasant personality

Because I'd grown accustomed to the various asymmetricalities of my body and needed a new one to obsess over

If I'm being really honest, I may have grown it to punk my friend, who'd invited me to be a groomsmen in his wedding but whose bride did not include facial hair stylings on her PDFed guide to appropriate groomsmen looks

And to continue that honestly, I've kept it maybe because I think his bride suspects that this was the case and I'm scared she will beat me up if she knew that I'd made an effort to become "that random guy with a mustache" in her wedding photos

Because the groom himself cannot grow one

Because neither my brother nor my father can grow one, now that I think about it

Because I knew I'd be getting a dog who had his own killer facial hair game and we needed to match

Because I felt I'd mastered the art of eating and sneezing and needed to complicate both those actions in order to challenge myself

Because years of playing Nintendo games have led to me realize that I'm more of a Luigi than a Mario

Sex stuff

And finally because Stupid Sexy Flanders is too good of a Halloween costume to pass up

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Drew Mackiehttps://firstname.lastname@example.com://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2016/08/why-i-grew-mustache.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5087907.post-22592788550411334802016-08-12T12:17:00.000-07:002016-08-12T17:18:05.474-07:00"Why Don't You Tell Us How Your Really Feel?"There's a sort of person who, upon hearing someone else speak passionately about a given subject, will respond with a certain stock phrase: "Why don't you tell us how you really feel?" And when they do, they hit the "really" Chandler Bing-style to emphasize their point. They might smile. They might feel very satisfied for having said this.

Here is some information about that person.

That person is the worst. That person thinks it's okay to use a cliched, straight-from-a-bad-sitcom phrase to tell you (or maybe sometimes me) not to speak your mind—or at least not to speak it in such a decisive manner. That person wants you to hedge your statements in softeners like "maybe" and "it's possible" and may even want you to apologize before you offer your opinion, as if you didn't get the proper permission before you talk.

It may be that you have overstepped in talking. Sometimes you get heated and your words take a tone that is inappropriate for a given situation. You may need a reminder to check yourself. That's entirely fair. But with respect to that, here is the worst quality of the person who speaks the phrase "Why don't you tell us how you really feel?" or some variant: They don't actually want you to realize you're violating some conversational rule. They want to make you feel bad, to be embarrassed for having participated. They're trying to make you stop talking. And they're not attempting to go about this directly or even by inventing their own turn of phrase. Instead, they pick this garbage saying—a chunk of words that verges on "Smooth move, Ex-Lax" in terms of datedness and triteness, a phrase that approaches sarcasm but somehow even falls short of even that. It's this cowardly form of indirect communication in which this person conveys a message but hides behind words that superficially would seem to mean the opposite. It's a reprimand form of "Gosh, it's really hot in here" when you actually mean "Would you mind opening the windows?" but you're not willing to actually make that request.

This is a person you should make an effort to avoid talking to them in the future.

In closing, here is a picture of a baby duck sitting in a ladle.

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Drew Mackiehttps://firstname.lastname@example.com://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2016/08/tell-us-how-you-really-feel.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5087907.post-39788968718578601292016-08-03T06:13:00.000-07:002016-08-03T11:17:05.525-07:00Falling Eggplants and Gay PixelsFor all but the deepest subset of the Venn diagram overlap of nerds and homosexuals, this may well be your introduction to the bizarre gayness that is Cho Aniki. I'm honored to extend the opportunity.

I'm still on my kick about being from the generation of pixels and VHS static, and I'm still mucking around with weird video clips and lesser-known pop songs from the era as part of a larger project. I'm not quite sure yet what, exactly, that project will turn out to be, but at the very least it will be interesting to look at.

Yesterday, I finished one chunk of it that may just merit a post on its own. Here, please enjoy inasmuch as it can be enjoyed.

If your response to all this is "Wait, what the fuck?" then you are correct! This is footage from Cho Aniki, a Japanese video game series whose name translates as "Super Big Brother" and whose chief contribution to the world is a lot of nonsensical homoerotic imagery. The games have largely not been released outside Japan, and consequently a lot of people in the U.S. don't know that it even exists, despite it being one of the stranger assemblages of pixels ever. This particular clip comes from a playthrough of the second game in the series, 1995's Ai Cho Aniki. (The original video has been edited, truncated and manipulated. The song I synced to it is "Happy Station" by Fun Fun. Also also, what is the deal with Japan and eggplants?)

And if you're interested, here's another piece of the puzzle: the disco sequence from the Bollywood Nightmare on Elm Street, manipulated and destroyed, with another italo disco gem added in.

The song is "Follow Me" by Giusy Dej, BTW. Happy Cho Aniki Awareness Day!

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Drew Mackiehttps://email@example.com://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2016/08/falling-eggplants-gay-pixels-cho-aniki.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5087907.post-70747678340361079282016-07-26T00:04:00.000-07:002016-07-27T10:57:25.202-07:00Why So Many Gay Guys Like Barb From Stranger ThingsHeads up: This will spoil the first season of Stranger Things. If you haven't finished it and don't want it spoiled, don't read this yet. Also, what are you waiting for? It's only eight episodes. Call in sick today and finish it.

I'd been stoked for Stranger Things, and I felt gratified once it went live on Netflix that other people seemed to enjoy it as much as I did. However, all the social media posts about the show seemed to be echoing back to me one observation in particular that I didn't expect: that Barb was awesome. I liked her a lot, despite her scant screen time, but I'm a weirdo who always roots for the underdog girl. In this instance, I was not alone in pulling for Barb. It also happens that most of the people posting about Stranger Things in my various feeds happened to be gay nerds of one stripe or another. So what is it about this mom-jeaned wonder that made gay dudes dig her? (You know, aside from her on-point-for-the-era fashion sense.)

After all, Barb (Shannon Purser) vanishes before the opening credits of episode three, when the shambling horror that is the show's big bad pulls her into the swimming pool of doom, never to be seen again… save for a particularly nasty shot of her in the penultimate episode, when the viewer learns that yes, she's completely dunzo—a corpse in the Upside-Down with a hell leech squiggling around in her mouth. It's brutal to learn, especially if you, like me, had been hoping that she'd be rescued.

We gay nerds like our genre heroines, but Stranger Things actually offers four other female characters who get to do a lot more than Barb does. There's Joyce (Winona Ryder), a small-time Sarah Connor who's just the latest in a long line of fearless, strong moms in sci-fi works. There's Eleven (Millie Bobby Brown), the telekinetic marvel who actually takes down the bad guys. There's Nancy (Natalie Dyer), the Lisa Simpson-level goody two-shoes who finds an inner courage to become a hero in her own right. And there's even Nancy's mom (Cara Buono, a.k.a. Dr. Faye from Mad Men) who gets more to do than Barb does just by virtue of the fact that she survives through all eight episodes.

So why the hell would we like Barb so much? My theory is that for gay guys—and maybe also non-gay guys who had similarly difficult high school experiences—Barb reminds us of the selves we left behind back in the day, the not-yet-fully-realized versions that we want to go back and help or save or maybe just hug.

Based on the little we get to know about Barb in the first two episodes, we get that she's Nancy's smart and loyal best friend. She has a flair for fashion, but that doesn't really put her on the radar of any of the popular kids, and she's literally out of focus in the background of some of the shots in which Nancy is interacting with them. (If there's a he-Barb lurking around somewhere, who can see her for the radiant, ruffled flower she is, we never get to see him.) She only gets invited to the party at the home of BMOC Steve Harrington (Joe Keery) because she is Nancy's plus-one, and again, the boys don't seem interested in her to the point that no one even reacts with much concern when she cuts her hand—and even then, she only cuts her hand in a vain attempt to shotgun a beer, just to prove to these cretins that yes, she's like everyone else and can party like a normal kid. That felt familiar.

To paraphrase that great poet of our generation, Katy Perry, she's a plastic bag who has yet to realize her status as a firework. Watching the second episode in particular, I wanted to tell Barb that it would be okay—that she'd get in to a good college where a bunch of art fags would celebrate her prim but daring style, and that everything would be okay in the end.

Only that doesn't happen. It doesn't get better for Barb. She dies without anyone aside from Nancy realizing how great she is, and even then, Nancy's last interaction with her is shooing her away while she goes to make penis-vagina with Steve. Yes, even that is telling of the kind of relationships a lot of closeted gay guys had with their ladyfriends of choice back in the age of raging hormones. We'd be there, steadfast and protective, until the prospect of a more deeply realized male-female relationship presented itself, at which point we'd be left to wait downstairs while some people's virginities were lost and others remained intact.

I'm projecting, sure, but I feel like for this gay guy in particular, the horror of Barb's death wasn't just that it seemed like if anyone should have been safe, it would have been her. No, it's the weird "what if?" of never moving on from the Upside-Down of high school life and never having people finally appreciate you for the things that make you special. She has glam hausfrau style down, for sure, but I'm certain that's not the only reason we gay nerds are rooting for her in a fashion way out of proportion to how much we see her onscreen.

I love you, Barb. I wish it had been different for you.

Miscellaneous notes:

I keep accidentally referring to the Upside-Down as the Underwhere, which I think should be the name of something.

I can't stop listening to the previous compositions by Survive, the band that did the show's soundtrack. Survive is the Disasterpeace of 2016.

Variety had a good interview with the Duffer Brothers that offers, among other things, some rationale about why Barb and Barb alone should have been the one character to get offed in the show's first season, as well as the tidbit that Shannon Purser had never professionally acted before this series.

If you haven't yet, check out my fucking up of the Stranger Things trailer in the style of footage from a decayed VHS cassette.

Cole Escola did a less-than-one-minute bit about Barb's mom learning about what the fuck happened to her daughter, and it's gold.

I was born in 1982, but that doesn't mean I understand how women dressed in the first decade of my life. Consequently, it's hard to tell if Barb's style would have read as avant-garde in 1983 or just plain dowdy. I have similar issues with Jane Fonda's wardrobe in 9 to 5.

Just in case you wanted a closer look at our last image of Barb, you can see it here. It's awful. Barb deserved better.

I maintain that Barb is equal parts Martha Plimpton's character from The Goonies and Lucca from Chrono Trigger.

Homo culture, previously:

How my friend's stepdad gave Princess Peach to gay nerds nationwide

How Madonna debuted Dick Tracy with an all-male kickline

Why Saint Seiya is gayer than you remember

How a gay guy probably invited the high-five

Why Mr. Belvedere is gayer than you might think

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Drew Mackiehttps://email@example.com://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2016/07/barb-stranger-things-gay.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5087907.post-26019477909081797152016-07-19T23:26:00.000-07:002016-07-19T23:53:28.141-07:00Even Stranger YetI promise that I won't just be posting artificially destroyed footage on a constant basis, but after yesterday's post went up, I realized that I could (and should) make good on my desire to realize Stranger Things in the style of a long-forgotten VHS tape.

This series, which I stayed up late to finish last night, is just such kickback to the stuff I watched when I was a kid that I like the fantasy of it actually being from that era, rather than a period piece—that it got made thirty years ago and had been sitting in a closet all this time. I'm not going to warp all of Stranger Things, but just as a flavor taste test for what it might look like, I offer you these: the Stranger Things trailer, glitches out and distorted in the style of 1985.

Meanwhile, can we please talk about Barb?

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Drew Mackiehttps://email@example.com://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2016/07/stranger-things-VHS.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5087907.post-23910107699132849012016-07-17T15:23:00.001-07:002016-07-17T15:47:49.695-07:00The Generation of Pixels and VHS StaticI had one of those weekends where plans just fizzle away, because your friends have conspired to cancel appointments jointly and consecutively, all in an effort to make you appreciate the joys of staying home. And with my newfound free time, I accomplished two things: I watched the bulk of Stranger Things on Netflix and I learned how to use After Effects. These two things are actually related.

Nearly every review of Stranger Things has noted that it plays out like some Steven Spielberg fairytale we might have watched in the '80s, only with a dark twist that in my mind is exemplified by the John Carpenter jolt of how the title arrives at the end of the series trailer. (I can't explain why the appearance of the series title gives me goosebumps, but it does—every time I've watched the trailer. Maybe that font is haunted?)

As for After Effects, I used it take crisp, clean footage and fuck it up in the style of footage from a damaged VHS tape. That may seem like a pointless skill to acquire, VHS having long gone the way of the typewriter, but I assure you it's not, because VHS has gone the way of the typewriter. I was doing it for a larger project, but in damaging my first chunk of footage, I was surprised by my emotional reaction to seeing something rendered in the flickers and saturation bleeds of an old medium. I miss them, it turns out. Those errors became hallmarks of movie-watching back in the day—and, along with pixels, hallmarks of childhood escapism as well—to the point that on some level I will always associate them with how a movie should look.

This is not my theory. In A Year With Swollen Appendices, Brian Eno lays it out very clearly: "Whatever you now find weird, ugly, uncomfortable and nasty about a new medium will surely become its signature. CD distortion, the jitteriness of digital video, the crap sound of 8-bit—all of these will be cherished and emulated as soon as they can be avoided. It's the sound of failure: So much modern art is the sound of things going out of control, of a medium pushing to its limits and breaking apart." This has implications way beyond the pop culture I grew up with, but I think it does help explain why I continue to noodle around with pixel art from the 8- and 16-bit generations, as well as why it felt so satisfying to introduce all that distortion to a perfectly good chunk of video. It felt right.

It helps that the footage in question came from Inferno, the sequel to Suspiria. My introduction to Dario Argento came from my hometown video store—no, not Blockbuster, but still long-shuttered all the same—and while I never actually saw Inferno until the age of DVD-quality video, it seems like I should have.

Here is the scene in question in its original, clean form. (Fair warning—there is a corpse that appears in this clip, just after the 3:30 mark, but I feel like it's a PG-13 corpse at worst. It also features Irene Miracle, whom I feel is a strong PG in and of herself.) I believe it comes from a DVD rip.

And here is the same scene again—improved by virtue of being made worse.

That staticky mess? That sloppy color? It looks beautiful to me in a way I'm not sure someone else would understand if they didn't have the mid-'80s-to-early-'90s frame of reference that I do. Who knows? Maybe you're pining for Ted Turner-mandated colorization or the shaky monochrome of a midcentury TV set with rabbit ears. But this brings me back to Stranger Things. It truly is a lot like something we might have watched twenty-five years ago, except for the darker elements and the fact that it looks like a million bucks. Were there a way to watch it with a filter that emulated a VHS tape that had been left in a hot attic for too long, I would. Again, it would feel right. In fact, someone with more technological savvy than I have should invent that app right now—Instagram filters for your TV, so you can recall the pixels and noise and V-hold blips from whatever era most suits you.

Someone born in 2000 might never have watched anything on VHS. I wonder what they'll pine for. Crisp but slightly less than high-definition video? Polygons? Maybe they haven't figured out what they'll miss yet. But I know. Give me VHS static and pixels, please.

And if there were a way to layer TV static onto this, I think I'd die happy.

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Drew Mackiehttps://firstname.lastname@example.com://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2016/07/the-generation-of-pixels-and-vhs-static.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5087907.post-50637879859398479182016-07-01T13:43:00.002-07:002016-07-01T16:58:15.001-07:00Where Is the Video? (A Short Play About Journalism)Journalist: Hi. I sent you the piece on the finance committee meeting. Let me know what you think.

Editor: I saw that. I saw that. I've got one question for you, though: Where is the video?

Journalist: The video?

Editor: See, you've sent me a lot of text, but I don't see a video attachment.

Journalist: I… don't have a video for it.

Editor: Well, then we have a problem. No one reads news articles for text nowadays. They want a motherfucking video. So where is the video?

Journalist: I'm not sure the piece needs a video. If you read it, I think everything is there—like, in the text.

Editor: [takes off his glasses] People don't want to click onto your story and just see goddamned words. They want an auto-loading video to show up and immediately push the words down. They want preroll. They want an ad jingle. They want a video that covers a huge chunk of the text and they want to wait for it to play through—just sitting there staring at it. Then they want to scroll down a few inches and see another video. They want videos in the sidebar. They want the related videos to have related videos. And do you know what they want when they get to the bottom of your fucking Stephen King novel of a news article?

Journalist: A video?

Editor: THEY WANT A FUCKING VIDEO.

Journalist: Well, I didn't take a video of the meeting, so there is no video for this story.

Editor: See, that's where you're wrong. We have a policy of including videos on all stories we run, regardless of whether they actually have anything to do with the matter at hand. In fact, our policy is to embed a short video about Kate Bosworth in all stories that don't come with a special-made video asset.

Journalist: Kate… You mean the one from Superman Returns?

Editor: KATE FUCKING BOSWORTH. Yes. Have you seen this video? It's amazing. She throws a milkshake at a seagull. It's ace content. It's our all-time most-viewed video.

Journalist: I don't think—

Editor: One word for you: PULITZER.

[Angry seagull noises come from the editor's computer.]

Editor: And I've got even better news for you. Your piece is running with our Charmin ad package.

Journalist: The toilet paper?

Editor: Thirty seconds after the user loads your story, those fucking Charmn bears are going to come dancing onto the screen. You know them—the ones with toilet paper stuck to their dirty fucking asses? And they keep dancing their asses toward the screen, and the user has to click all the toilet paper bits off their butts or they won't go away.

Journalist: [stands with mouth agape]

Editor: I don't want to hear any fucking complaints about it, neither. Those dancing bears and their dirty fucking shit asses are sending Bitsy and LaDonna and the rest of the new media team to SXSW this year.

Journalist: Did you read my piece?

Editor: Sure, seemed great.

Journalist: Did it have everything in it that it needed?

Editor: [snorts] You wrote it. You tell me.

Journalist: Have you seen Enid? I usually get copyedits back from her, but she's not picking up her phone.

Editor: Canned her.

Journalist: What? You fired the copyeditor?

Editor: No, I fired the assistant to the video editor. We moved her over to the video team. Thought she might be productive there. Did you see the videos she made? Garbage. Fucking garbage.

Journalist: Well, she's a copyeditor so—

Editor: They only got 50,000 views. Absolute fucking garbage. We fired her on the spot—and then broke her fingers to make sure she got the message.

Journalist: I think I'm going to go home.

Editor: Periscope it. We'll put it on the main page.

{fin}

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Drew Mackiehttps://firstname.lastname@example.com://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2016/07/where-is-video-short-play-about-journalism.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5087907.post-74448369438121876342016-06-26T14:17:00.000-07:002016-06-27T13:44:43.458-07:00The Deep Legend of Purple ZeldaDiscussed herein: the original Legend of Zelda, the band Deep Purple, the man responsible for what are arguably the two most famous compositions in video game music history, and open-ended questions about music law.

Last week, a Los Angeles jury concluded that no, Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" did not plagiarize another song—or, at least, appropriate enough of that other song to constitute plagiarism and subsequent monetary compensation. Led Zeppelin got to continue living atop a towering pile of money that did not become a slightly-less-towering pile of money, and the 1960s band Spirit got a neat little footnote in its history when the estate of the band's singer, Randy California, unsuccessfully tried to argue that a brief snippet from the intro to "Stairway to Heaven" sounded too much like Spirit's 1968 song "Taurus."

Neither being a member of that jury nor someone who claims to understand music on a constructional level, I can't say whether that verdict was just. I can say, however, that to my ears, the two songs sound similar enough that it seems that the one could have helped bring about the other, regardless of whether anyone deserved money for that inspiration.

Listen for yourself. The "Stairway"-esque part of "Taurus" begins around the 44-second mark.

And here is "Stairway to Heaven," just in case you've been living under a rock for the last forty years.

The plaintiff's lawyers had claimed that because Spirit had played on the same bill as Led Zeppelin back in the day, it was plausible that members of the latter had heard "Taurus" and therefore used bits of it in writing "Stairway," which was released in 1971. In my head, that seems like a fair enough argument, and I feel like people following the story in the news probably did too, especially in light of how the family of Marvin Gaye successfully sued Robin Thicke, to say nothing of similar squabbles making the news recently. (Tom Petty vs. Sam Smith comes to mind, even if it ended amicably, and now Ed Sheeran is being sued for alleged plagiarism as well.)

These kinds of stories stand out to me because I'm the kind of guy who frequently hears similarities between two songs that other people dismiss with "No, that's just a common chord progression" or "No, that's just a feature of this genre of music" or "No, you're crazy." For example, I think the old song "Smoke Rings" sounds remarkably like a downtempo version of the overworld theme from Super Mario Bros. 2.

I'm okay with accepting that the connection I'm making only exists in my head, but there's this one similarity in particular that always jumps into mind when I read stories like these, because I think it's a stronger connection to most: the Deep Purple track "April" and the dungeon theme from Legend of Zelda. And yes, there's something slightly more thrilling to me about the prospect of a song working its way across the pop cultural continuum and ending up in a video game, at least in some form, years later.

"April" is the final track to Deep Purple's third album, released in 1969. It's a doozy. You probably know Deep Purple as the bad that performs "Smoke on the Water" or the hard rock version of that song from I Know What You Did Last Summer, but "April" is worth a listen too. It's grand and orchestral, especially in its intro, and wouldn't be out of place as the soundtrack to some medieval fantasy sequence, I say.

Or maybe that association comes from the apparent Legend of Zelda connection. At around the 2:00-mark in "April," there's a brief section that should sound familiar to anyone who played through the original Legend of Zelda for the NES. It's the bit that concludes the game's dungeon theme before the track loops back to the beginning. (That dungeon theme isn't very long, and if you played through the game, you'd hear this section of music hundreds of times over.)

I made a video that lines the sections up side-by-side, in case that's helpful.

Given my history of the playing "thing is like other thing" game, I'd be willing to write this similarity off as a random, meaningless one, but there's slightly more to the story. Koji Kondo is the music whiz responsible for a lot of Nintendo's most memorable compositions, including all the music for the original Legend of Zelda. What's interesting about the Deep Purple connection is that Kondo himself has admitted to being a fan of the band. In a 2005 Nintendo Power interview, Kondo even said he once played in a band that frequently covered Deep Purple, so the odds that he would be familiar with "April" would be fairly high—at least as probable as Led Zeppelin having heard "Taurus." Of course, in the end, the jury found that Zeppelin hadn't stolen those guitar riffs—or at least that if they had, they weren't substantial enough to warrant Zeppelin having to pay off anyone as a result.

I suppose, then, that I have to conclude this post on a note of confusion. I don't understand how we can make a legal differentiation between homage, sample, legitimate borrowing, and lawsuit-worthy theft. (And yes, I have thought about how it's notable that the multimillion-dollar exception to the rule would be a song titled "Blurred Lines.") So I pose the question to anyone reading this who understands music or music law better than I do: Am I confused because these distinctions are better made by people who understand music on a fundamental level that I don't? Or is it just that no one knows—and that every post-"Blurred Lines" lawsuit is gambling in favor of the odds of some judge or jury saying, "Yeah I hear it. Here, have a wheelbarrow full of money"? Is it weird that laypeople, musically speaking, would ever be given the opportunity to issue a verdict about something that seems like it should take inside knowledge of the music industry to understand?

Meanwhile, I keep "April" on my playlists in case I ever encounter a situation that needs to feel more epic. And every time I get two minutes in, I get to think about Legend of Zelda, whether or not it's just a coincidence.

Miscellaneous notes:

Yes, this is was something I've written about on this blog before—eight years ago, in fact. I decided the Zeppelin lawsuit made the story timely enough for an update and expansion. I originally came across the info in the "cloubush" thread, which, eight years later, is still going strong.

There actually is a purple Zelda, literally. Her name is Hilda. She's Zelda but purple. Go figure.

Koji Kondo composed the soundtracks for Super Mario Bros. and Legend of Zelda but not those for Metroid and Kid Icarus. He did, however, do the music for three early NES games that weren't released in the U.S.—Mysterious Castle Murasame, Devil World and Shin Onigashima. Given how iconic the Zelda and Mario themes ended up becoming, we American gamers missed out.

Kondo also composed the music that ended up in Super Mario Bros. 2, and I wonder if the Deep Purple thing makes it anymore likely that he would have been inspired by "Smoke Rings" in creating that game's soundtrack.

In 1970, Spirit released an album saddled with the improbable title Twelve Dreams of Dr. Sardonicus, and that's one of those names that seems like a joke on The Simpsons.

Not that I nor anyone else actually needs to hear "Stairway to Heaven" again, but did you know that Dolly Parton does a cover of it? It's actually not bad—not that Dolly is capable of bad things—and I wager she finds a layer to it that other cover-ers may not.

Spirit's biggest commercial hit was 1968's "I Got a Line of You," which I'd heard before and which I'm surprised was done by the same band that did "Taurus."

Video game music, previously:

Deirdre in the Final Dungeon

Left-Handed Ghosts

Misplaced Nostalgia

Luigi in the Dining Room With the Vacuum Cleaner

She's… So Popular

Wizards and Warriors and Montagues and Capulets

Owen Pallett in the Star Maze

The Lonely Overworld

(Follow on Facebook • Follow on Twitter • Follow on Tumblr)

Drew Mackiehttps://email@example.com://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2016/06/deep-purple-legend-of-zelda.html


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Dancing Starfish Beach Photograph is a photograph by Sylvia Cook which was uploaded on September 30th, 2013.
Starfish in the sand at Longbeach Washington.... more
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starfish in the sand at Longbeach Washington.
Long Beach began when Henry Harrison Tinker bought a land claim from Charles E. Reed in 1880. He platted the town and called it "Tinkerville." Long Beach was officially incorporated on January 18, 1922. From 1889 to 1930, a narrow gauge railroad called the Ilwaco Railway and Navigation Company ran up the whole peninsula.
Named one of �America�s Favorite Beach Towns� by ForbesTraveler.com and voted �Best Beach� by the viewers of Seattle�s KING-5 TV, the Peninsula offers visitors blocks of colorful shops, great seafood, comfortable lodging, small museums, horseback riding, and an expansive beach. Southwest Washington�s Long Beach Peninsula: home to a new national park, two historic lighthouses, renowned restaurants, cranberry bogs, and oyster farms.
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Udall ski-area alternative activity bill clears committee vote
Sen. Mark Udall's bill to promote year-round recreation at ski areas cleared a critical committee vote late last week and is headed to a vote of the full U.S. Senate.
First introduced in 2008 and then revived last summer, the bill is not without controversy. It seeks to revamp a 1986 law governing ski-area permits on U.S. Forest Service so that the federal agency has more latitude to allow recreation other than skiing.
"Ski areas are a critical part of our state's recreational and tourist economy – but many struggle to provide jobs during the summer months," Udall said in a release after the bill was approved by the Energy and Natural Resources Committee.
"My bill would help provide some stability by making it clear that biking, concerts, and other recreational activities are welcome where the Forest Service finds them appropriate. I'm very pleased we were able to get committee approval, and I urge my colleagues in the full Senate to approve it quickly."
When Udall first introduced the bill in 2008, Ryan Bidwell, executive director of the ski-area watchdog group Colorado Wild, joined 15 other environmental groups to oppose inappropriate uses: "Basically urbanized activities like roller coasters, water parks, concert amphitheaters, mini-golf — facilities that don't depend on a natural setting at all, that aren't dependent on the resources that national forest lands offer."
Udall contends it will be up to the Forest Service to determine what those appropriate uses are. Many ski areas already allow biking, concerts and other activities, but some mountain homeowners are concerned the new law would allow amusement-park-style rides and other urbanized activities.
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It's often said that a district attorney has more direct power over people's lives than a mayor. If that's so, Denver voters need to know […]Read More
In Colorado, Green Party's Jill Stein won't endorse the ColoradoCare universal healthcare ballot measure
COLORADO SPRINGS — Days after Bernie Sanders officially backed a ballot measure in Colorado that would create the first universal healthcare system in the […]Read More


text: Local Listings Sell FREE Now! 0 Listings within 10 mi 25 mi 50 mi of and limit to state All AL AK AZ AR CA CO CT DC DE FL GA HI ID IL IN IA KS KY LA ME MD MA MI MN MS MO MT NE NV NH NJ NM NY NC ND OH OK OR PA RI SC SD TN TX UT VT VA WA WV WI WY Local Sales are ALWAYS FREE ON GUNSAMERICA! Lc | IP: 184.108.40.206 | 20147 | 50 | 437.4882ms | Search | 5 Local sales are always free on GunsAmerica! Start Selling Locally Now Close Welcome to GunsAmerica Find Local Deals Enter your zip code to find local deals: and/or Subscribe to GunsAmerica Digest Subscribe FREE to the Digest and News this Week I want FREE Shipping on my first ammunition order from Freedom Munitions! Submit *We Never share your email. Already a Member? Login Custom Shotguns For Sale Sort by... Category (a-z) Category (z-a) Best match Time Listed (Newest first) Time Listed (Oldest first) Price (Highest first) Price (Lowest first) 50 / Page 100 / Page 250 / Page 7 Listings Found Page 1 of 1 6 Image(s) 238U STEVENS 22-410 STEVENS 22-410, 90% BARRELS WITH SOME FRECKLING, 90% CASE COLORS, GOOD TENITE STOCKS, EXC. BORES (read more) Gun #: 977528455 Seller: Wildwood Inc $550.00 Full Details 5 Image(s) French Guild Darne Style 16GA French Guild Darne Style 16GA Description: Stock has several marks, the butt plate is missing pieces. Has roughly 15-20% remaining case coloring on the receiver. Has a dent i... (read more) Gun #: 945423571 Seller: Boise Gun Company $1,000.00 Full Details More from this Seller 9 Image(s) NEUMANN BROS. 12 GA HAMMER DOUBLE The 30" laminated barrels have chokes of MOD,and IMP CYL. with clean borers with only a few pits, and patches of surface specks in the chamber area. Barrels have a brownish patina,... (read more) Gun #: 970696654 Seller: TWIN OAK ARMS $285.00 Full Details More from this Seller 8 Image(s) BELGIUM 12GA. HAMMER SHOTGUN This Belgium 12ga hammer double has no finish, but is not rusted or abused. The 32" long barrels are choked at: MOD. and MOD. , and are chambered for the 2 3/4" shell. This is an ... (read more) Gun #: 914532744 Seller: TWIN OAK ARMS $375.00 Full Details More from this Seller 6 Image(s) 155S STEVENS 311 CUSTOM COMBINATION GUN, 357 MAG/20GA STEVENS 311 CUSTOM COMBINATION GUN, 357 MAG/20GA 18 1/2", SCREW IN CHOKES, REMINGTON SIGHTS, 98% BARRELS, 98% CASE COLORS, EXC. WOOD AND BORES (read more) Gun #: 998774948 Seller: Wildwood Inc $1,550.00 Full Details 6 Image(s) 29U GERMAN OU CAPE GUN GERMAN OU CAPE GUN, 16GA OVER 25-35 27", UNDER LEVER OPENER, COCKIMG INDICATORS, GREENER SAFETY, THREE PIECE FORE END, STRONG CHECKERING, CHEEK PIECE, KRUPP BARRELS (read more) Gun #: 969890784 Seller: Wildwood Inc $1,950.00 Full Details 5 Image(s) 4513 Belguim Custom Liege D Arams 16 ga hammer single trigger AAA HIGHTEST QUALITY 4513 Belgium Custom Liege D Armas 16g 30bls ic/m rebounding hammers sideclipped bls extractor raised solid rib MILLER SINGLE TRIGGER straight grip 100% rose/scroll leather pad reba... (read more) Gun #: 925702954 Seller: Dennis E Dawson GA Sales: 133 $5,995.00 Full Details More from this Seller 7 Listings Found Page 1 of 1 Lc | 343.8089ms|217|1


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The General Services Administration awarded blanket purchase agreements (BPAs) on March 12 to Integrity Management Consulting and Acquisition Solutions for acquisition support services, according to a Federal Business Opportunities notice.
The BPAs will help GSA shore up support to handle floods of Recovery Act money that agencies are likely to funnel through the government's primary procurement agency.
The BPAs are for one base year and four options years and are worth $100 million based on the expected revenue from all of the regions' similar contracts, which GSA expects to award soon, the notice states.
GSA will use the agreements to support specific projects related to the $787 billion American Recovery and Reinvestment Act. The BPAs will also save money by finding discounts through agencywide mass purchases, the notice states.
All GSA offices, including the Federal Acquisition Service and Public Building Service, can use a primary and a backup BPA specifically established for their region of the country. GSA said it anticipates awarding in the near future the primary and backup BPAs for the remaining 10 GSA regions.
Integrity Management Consulting holds the primary BPA and Acquisition Solutions has the backup BPA for GSA's National Capital Region and Central Office.
As agencies spend their economic stimulus money, GSA is preparing for a long-term influx of support services. It said it expects agencies' need for its acquisition services encompasses more than the initial spending spree.
President Barack Obama's economic stimulus package became law Feb. 17.
The BPAs are through GSA's Mission Oriented Business Integration Services Schedule contract. GSA can use the BPAs with Recovery Act funds or other purse sources, the notice states.
About the Author
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Steve Kelman contends that a recent report on agencies' prize challenges tells only half the success story.
OMB's Data Center Optimization Initiative gives agencies new metrics and goals for fiscal 2018.
NSA and the CIA have revamped themselves in the past year. FCW asked officials how well Fort Meade and Langley are collaborating in cyberspace in pursuit of their separate missions.
The latest version of the Defense Department-wide Enterprise Service Management Framework places more emphasis on managing IT risk.
Despite GSA's efforts to accelerate the FedRAMP approval process, the lack of agency reciprocity puts the program's central goals at risk.
Got some early-career colleagues who are doing great things in federal IT? Nominate them for FCW's 2016 Rising Star awards.
The agency software inventories required under the draft category management policy will be treasure maps that lead to efficient, effective, streamlined buying and unprecedented savings.
As experts warned of the "dire" threats posed by outdated federal technology, lawmakers grilled top feds, debated workforce issues and inched closer to backing a $3.1 billion fix-it fund.
The agency is making strides in developing and deploying border technologies but still has some weaknesses.
How amazing that the jest of the package was to go to veteran owned small businesses and here we have GSA awarding BPAs to large businesses. What happened to bringing the work back in house. This is unbelievable that GSA is allowed to do this with all the other comments that have been made in regards to helping small businesses that are in economic distress. Somebody needs to take a hard look at what GSA does to survive.
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We thought it would be fun to ask a few people who work in the beauty industry to visit our current special exhibition. A few of the staff of Salon Bella Vie in Strongsville were glad to take us up on our offer.
The Thinker: A CMA Blog
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The Works Children's Museum in Bloomington Minnesota put together this handy guide explaining what chemicals are used to create a variety of fireworks colors.
While it's topical and interesting, it's also dangerous since July 4th is not well known as a sober, intelligent decision making holiday.
Be safe out there, kids!
Hat tip to Boing Boing
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- The judge who sentenced former Stanford swimmer Brock Turner for sexual assault will no longer hear criminal cases.
- Hillary Clinton came closer than ever to attacking Donald Trump's character and tied her opponent to the "alt-right" movement.
- The death toll from Italy's earthquake rose to 250 people amid efforts to dig out residents still trapped in rubble.


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AIG Commercial Asset Finance (AIGCAF) and its affiliates have provided a $400 million loan for vessels owned and operated by Nautical Solutions, LLC, which is an operating unit of Edison Chouest Offshore (Chouest). Proceeds from the loan were used to refinance existing notes and to provide for the construction of new vessels.
Kirk Phillips, Senior Vice President of the Direct Finance Group at AIGCAF, said that due to AIG's extensive experience in offshore marine and energy lending, AIGCAF was able to creatively and quickly meet Nautical Solutions' needs.
This transaction builds on the partnership forged between AIGCAF and Chouest, one of the world's leading offshore service providers. Charlie Comeaux, CFO of Chouest, said "Chouest is proud to be doing business with AIG and their entire team. They are among the best in the industry, having deep experience in marine finance. We plan to do more financial transactions with AIG."
Norwegian defence and marine technology company Kongsberg Gruppen's second quarter 2016 (Q2) financial results shows sales performance broadly in line with recent trends,
Rickmers Holding AG and E.R. Capital Holding have jointly decided not to pursue the merger of their ship management activities.
For many years the companies
The Company:
Conrad Shipyard was established in 1948 and is headquartered in Morgan City, Louisiana. The company designs, builds and overhauls tugboats, ferries,
MV WERFTEN signed a letter of intent with the engineering company Foreship in Stralsund today. The agreement includes parts of the basic design as well as design,
In April 2016 Zumaia Offshore, S.L., leading workboat owner and operator based in the Basque Country, took delivery of the Cummins-powered MPP workboat "Aitana
During July 2016, the containership fleet reached a landmark 20 million TEU in terms of aggregate capacity, says Clarksons Research.
To many it only seems
Actions by Iranian vessels in several encounters with U.S. warships in the Gulf this week are cause for concern and increase risks of miscalculation, the White House said on Friday.
Australian defence officials warned French naval contractor DCNS to beef up security in Australia, where it is preparing to build a A$50 billion ($38.13 billion) fleet of submarines,
India has began multiple investigations to determine the extent of damage caused by the reported massive leak of secret data detailing the combat and stealth capabilities
The National Parks Board (NParks) and Keppel Corporation today unveiled plans for a partnership to restore the freshwater forest wetland ecosystem historically
Norwegian Marine Transportation Service Company I.M. Skaugen SE reported interim losses but cautiously positive and expecting a gradual recovery of trading opportunities


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Down-the-hole rock drill
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United States Patent #5435401
A down-the-hole rock drill includes a top sub, a driver sub having a bore therein, and a piston case extending between and detachably connected to the top sub and the driver sub. A piston is located within the piston case, and a drill device is detachably connected to the driver sub. The drill device includes a shank and a head. The drill device also has a central passageway for a flushing medium. A tube is secured in the central passageway at a free end of the shank. The tube extends beyond the free end of the shank, and the piston has a central piston passageway that receives the tube. The piston is slidably movable relative to the tube. A first portion of the shank located closest to the head has a cross section, normal to a longitudinal center axis of the shank, in the shape of a multi-lobed figure that is continuously non-concave, and the bore of the driver sub is of a matching cross-sectional shape. In addition, the drill device is secured axially by a bit retainer that symmetrically cooperates with a circumferentially extending shoulder on a second portion of the shank. The second portion being located closest to the free end of the shank.
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A pair of cross county rivals hit the field tonight for a scrimmage as Southeast Bulloch and Statesboro are set to square off at 7 p.m. at Womack Field tonight.
PORTAL - Portal will get a chance to see a lot of new faces in action tonight as the Panthers host Twiggs County in a preseason scrimmage at 7:30 p.m.
After beginning its 2012 season earlier this week, the Statesboro volleyball team is looking to make some more strides in its second year of existence.
Bulloch Academy head football coach Ronnie Hodges hopes that summer successes can turn into fall victories for the 2012 edition of the Gators.
At the end of hard-fought championship games, it is often said that neither team deserves to lose. That platitude will live on, but beginning this season at least one more school in the Georgia High School Association will end their year with a win.
REIDSVILLE - The Southeast Bulloch Lady Yellow Jackets (2-1) suffered their first loss of the 2012 season Tuesday with a 6-2 loss on the road at Tattnall County.
BROOKLET - Winning a home opener is nice. Doing so at the expense of a rival is even better.
BROOKLET - Cherished history meshed with a new wave of progress Friday night as Southeast Bulloch dedicated its new athletic facilities.
SWAINSBORO - The Southeast Bulloch Lady Yellow Jackets got the 2012 season off to a big start Friday, with a dominant, 11-2 win at Swainsboro.
BROOKLET - When Southeast Bulloch first started turning heads on the softball diamond and making state playoff runs, many wrote off the Yellow Jackets as a fluke.
PORTAL - School has been in session for just a little over one week, but the softball teams from Portal and Statesboro are ready to jump on the diamond as both teams begin their 2012 regular season this afternoon at 5 p.m. in Portal.
A week after beginning their regular season schedule, the Bulloch Academy softball team makes its first home appearance this weekend as they host the third annual Bulloch Bash.
Justin Mee, a 2012 Statesboro High School honor graduate, has accepted an athletic and academic scholarship to Augusta State University.
When the Statesboro Blue Devils take the field for their 2012 season opener on Aug. 31, they'll be gunning for a third-consecutive region championship. During their recent run, the Devils have been known for their powerful and relentless running game.
Bulloch Academy alumna Heaven Hinton, 20-year-old daughter of Tina Hendrix and Dennis Hinton, recently signed a scholarship to attend Georgia Gwinnett College in Lawrenceville and extend her collegiate softball career.
The first step to rewriting the Statesboro football story is removing the doubt from fans' minds, and that will happen if the Blue Devils can ...
PORTAL - Earlier this year, the Georgia High School Association voted to expand the Class A public school playoffs from 16 to 24 teams.
BROOKLET - The goal of winning a state playoff game for the first time since their 1973 state championship season begins tonight for the Southeast Bulloch ...
The first games of the high school football season are stirring up plenty of excitement, but the action will be just as fierce on the ...
Southeast Bulloch High School has seen a considerable rise in success since Pat Collins took over in 2010.
Bulloch Academy was looking for their first win of the season after tying Memorial Day School in Garden City last Friday night, and they did ...
30 minutes northeast of Bulloch County lies Screven County, whose county seat, Sylvania, has a population a tenth the size of Statesboro.
SEB split their volleyball games Thursday night, dropping their first game to Islands High School 25-22, 19-25, 21-25 and coming back to win the second ...
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Mexico: Native Mayans on 'End of the World'
CNN's Nick Parker reports from Mexico's Yucatan Peninsula on the origins of the Mayan calendar
Helen Back: And how many people actually believe the our current government [political system] is working hard for the American people? LOL!!! If they do, then they need one serious wake up call!!! If they only knew what REALLY goes on, there would be rioting in the streets. It is all a scam. A show, behind a fake curtain in which it is all in THEIR best interest!! Not ours. The speeches, you hear, are written by professional speech writers who twist words around and feed you false promises to give you hope. We are fed lie after lie after lie and are given this warm fuzzy feeling that everything is and will be ok. If you believe ANYTHING our government and/or elected officials say, then I have a bridge to sell you.


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Fixed for iPads and phones ...
In reply to Torben Hermansen • Mar 30, 2013
Made it possible to use this tool on touch devices ...
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Steve's tweets
- Made it to IAH. First part of the journey done 22 hours ago
- @abjbradford thanks. See you in a week 1 day ago
- Up, Up, and Away voiceofthedba.wordpress.com/2016/08/26/up-… 1 day ago
- @zippy1981 fine but at least 3/4". Use 4 bolts/wing nuts 1 day ago
- @BuckWoodyMSFT @sqlcheesecake @zippy1981 Is that because no one in FL wants to go near the hot machine? 2 days ago
- @sqlcheesecake The race is on 2 days ago
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Tagsadministration auditing Azure backup Backup/Recovery big data blogging bloopers business Business Intelligence career career cell phone certification Cloud Computing computers conferences continuous delivery continuous integration data analysis database design databases Database Weekly Dev Connections DevOps disaster recovery DLM encryption Filetable Friday Poll hardware high availability Humor hyper-v life mcm Microsoft misc monitoring networking NoSQL PASS patching Performance powershell presentations Redgate sabbatical security software development software development speaking SQL Bits SQL Connections SQL Intersection SQL in the City SQLNewBlogger SQL Prompt SQL Saturday sql server SQLServer SQLServerCentral syndicated T-SQL T-SQL Tuesday testing TopTenSkills training travel tsqlt vacation version control virtualization windows work
Tag Archives: high availability
I saw a note from someone that had a database set up in a High Availability (HA) configuration for production. This person had received an 823 error on the primary server, but a failover hadn't occurred. This wasn't a critical … Continue reading
Posted in Editorial Tagged high availability Leave a comment
Zero Downtime for 2016
I've never felt that zero downtime is possible for a system over any length of time. There are no shortage of companies that seek to prove me wrong, and some are doing very well. For example, when is the last … Continue reading
Posted in Editorial Tagged high availability, sql server
T-SQL Tuesday #60 – Something New Learned
It's been five years, and that's amazing. Not many things last for a year, much less five, but the T-SQL Tuesday party, started by Adam Machanic (B|T)., has been amazing and lots of fun for me. This month, Chris Yates … Continue reading
Posted in Blog Tagged AlwaysOn, career, high availability, syndicated, T-SQL Tuesday 1 Comment
Multiple AGs
Today was my pre-con with Allan Hirt on AlwaysOn. It was great, and I learned a few things. I knew a bit about AGs, but Allan has a ton of experience, and he talked about some architectural things that I … Continue reading
Posted in Blog Tagged AlwaysOn, high availability, PASS, syndicated 4 Comments
Most of us that work with technology hate downtime. We don't want a system that we're using to go down. We don't want any software that we depend on to fail when we need it. Most of all, we don't … Continue reading
Posted in Editorial Tagged computers, high availability, software development
The Decision to Fail
We have a number of automated technologies that we can us to seamlessly move from primary to secondary systems without human intervention. SQL Server incorporates a number of these, and many companies use them to ensure their applications are highly available. However things don't … Continue reading
Posted in Editorial Tagged disaster recovery, high availability
Understanding HA
I've learned a lot about high availability (HA) and disaster recovery (DR) over the last two decades. Some of the things I've learned were from studying, some from experimentation and practice, and a few from hard lessons when some part of a … Continue reading
Posted in Editorial Tagged disaster recovery, high availability
AlwaysOn and Contained Databases in SQL Server 2012
This talk is mostly based on contained databases in SQL Server 2012. The first part of the talk goes over the problems with current database movement, the idea of containment, and the implementation in SQL Server 2012. There are demos … Continue reading
Posted in Presentations Tagged contained databases, high availability, presentations, sql server 1 Comment
The High Availability Poll
The cost of building highly available databases dropped with the introduction of Database Mirroring in 2005. Without the need to purchase identical hardware for a spare system, it became much easier and less expensive to set up extra systems that … Continue reading
Posted in Editorial Tagged high availability 2 Comments
High Availability Upgrades
SQL Server 2012 will be released soon. I have no idea of the exact date, though I suspect a peek at the SQL Server developers' vacation schedule in Redmond might provide some clue. The announcement last year was a first … Continue reading
Posted in Editorial Tagged high availability, sql server


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At right: The Holland Story presenting Animatronically Great Moments with Art Linkletter, a favorite attraction of Faline
This flying presentation tells the story of the Civil Fightin' in all its vacuuming glory. Featured in the presentation is the pushing story set to music, "Sappy Brothers." The climax comes with a fermenting rendition of the Paris Address by an audiovisual replica of President Linkletter.
Ruin everything with Zombie Mode
© copyright 2011–2016
A Pants Aflame production


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Cricket Australia pulled out of a tour of Bangladesh last year because of a "credible" security threat but Steve Smith's side had not been invited to attend a function where they reportedly were to be targeted by ISIS.
Fox Sports considers plan to simulcast Channel Nine's international cricket coverage
Jon Pierik Fox Sports is shaping up as a major player in the next round of cricket broadcast rights, indicating it would be prepared to simulcast matches in conjunction with Channel Nine or even have its own commentary team.
Live: Sri Lanka v Australia cricket scores, third ODI
Sri Lanka and Australia go head-to-head in the third of five one day internationals.
Cricket 2016: Michael Clarke considering Big Bash League and grade level return
Jon Pierik Michael Clarke will make a call within weeks on whether to pursue a stint in the Big Bash League this summer.
Matthew Hayden bags cricket system and wants player power
Jon Pierik Former Australian batsman Matthew Hayden has taken aim at coach Darren Lehmann and high performance manager Pat Howard, declaring it's time for the players to wrest back power in a system which had become "absolute horse shit".
Peter Siddle back bowling but James Pattinson with work to do
Jon Pierik Pace ace James Pattinson faces an uncertain return date but Peter Siddle has made good progress in his bid to be fit for the home Test series against South Africa.
Sheffield Shield hero Andrew McDonald is new Victorian Bushrangers coach
Daniel Cherny Andrew McDonald is coming home. Cricket Victoria confirmed on Saturday morning that the former Test all-rounder is returning to the Bushrangers after being picked to replace David Saker as coach after Saker left his post following a successful maiden season in the role to take up a job as Australian assistant coach.
Sri Lankan great Mahela Jayawardene joins criticism of Steve Smith's 'rest'
Jon Pierik Former Sri Lankan captain Mahela Jayawardene has joined the criticism of Australia's decision to rest Steve Smith for the remaining three one-day internationals and two Twenty20 matches in Sri Lanka.
Live: Sri Lanka v Australia cricket scores, second ODI
Sri Lanka and Australia go head-to-head in the second of five one day internationals.
Cricket Australia pay system creating gap between best and the rest, say female players
Andrew Wu Australia's female cricketers are worried the professionalisation of the women's game is creating a growing gap between the country's international and state players.


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I've just learned that Percona is putting on a one day workshop on Mysql in Raleigh on Jan 29th. Sign up is here, along with an outline of the day: http://percona-my... The event is free, which makes it an incredible value, especially if you run Mysql. Percona is pretty much the best in the business when it comes to Mysql. - Mark
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- (70)Bull BarsToyota Tundra
- (1)Brush GuardsToyota Tundra
- Push BarsToyota Tundra
- (3)Bumper GuardsToyota Tundra
- (4)Tail Light GuardsToyota Tundra
- (213)Off-Road BumpersToyota Tundra
- Step BoardsToyota Tundra
- (318)Bar Side StepsToyota Tundra
- (3)Rocker BarsToyota Tundra
- (4)Hoop StepsToyota Tundra
- (24)Hitch StepsToyota Tundra
- (5)Truck Bed StepsToyota Tundra
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- Grill GuardsBull Bars, Grille Guards, Push Bars | Protection Devices or Posers?Grille guards are sought-after accessories because they offer the rare combination of significantly boosting a truck's looks and adding valuable protection against front-end damage on job sites, off-road trails, and other tricky situations. Looking through the grille guard & bull bar section of our website, you'll see a variety of ways to protect the front of your vehicle. Because the expression "grille guard" has grown to encompass bull bars, brush guards, push bars, and bumper guards, we'll define these different styles and review the benefits each variation offers. Some of them span just the center area of your vehicle's front fascia, while others reach all the way from corner to corner.
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2011 Toyota Tundra


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World Bulletin / News Desk
Clashes erupted on Thursday near Syrian government headquarters in Damascus after rebels attacked forces loyal to President Bashar al-Assad, who have deployed armoured vehicles and increased roadblocks across the city, activists and residents said.
At least one person was reported killed in the fighting in Ikhlas neighbourhood near the Council of Ministers, a huge complex, and a Damascus University campus, they said.
Hundreds of families were fleeing the area, located between the districts of Kafar Souseh and Mezze, they said.
"The refugees have nowhere to go. There is fighting across Damascus," said a housewife watching the fighting from a tower block on Mezze Autostrade near the prime minister's office.
Fighting has been focused in the southern and north-eastern suburbs of the city, as well as the central areas of Mezze and Kafar Souseh where several security sites are located. Other parts of central Damascus were quiet on Thursday.
Another resident said army snipers were deployed on rooftops in Mezze and Kafar Souseh after rebels attacked armoured vehicles stationed near the prime minister's office and a roadblock erected in the last few days behind the Iranian embassy.
"The snipers are shooting at anyone in the streets. Mezze streets are deserted," he said, speaking by phone.
Fighting was also reported in Midan, a central Sunni Muslim district where rebels have been operating in alleyways and narrow streets that cannot be entered easily by tanks.
Witnesses also said armoured vehicles entered the Sinaa neighbourhood, which is adjacent to the historic Old City centre of the ancient capital.
Kayed has entered his 70th day on hunger strike to protest his ongoing placement in "administrative detention" in Israel
Turkish Air Forces hit 11 of 12 targets with precise accuracy as part of anti-ISIL operations in Syria
Operation aimed at clearing Turkish borders of terror groups, supporting territorial integrity of Syria with residents in nearby Karakamis evacuated on Tuesday
Kazakhstan and Israel have reached an agreement on the joint production of Unnamed Aerial Vehicle (UAVs)
Azerbaijani Popular Front Party Vice Chair Faig Amirov arrested for financial ties to Fetullah Terror Organization or FETO
A 19-year old Palestinian was killed during clashes with Israeli forces near Hebron last week
Israelis also arrest 8 Palestinians in separate incident in the West Bank
No injuries in border town as Free Syrian Army seeks to retake nearby Jarabulus from ISIL
The UAE has agreed to provide Egypt's central bank with a $1 billion deposit for a duration of six years
A day after Israeli forces targeted Gaza, the Zionist regime air forces struck Syria
The deadly airstrikes target the opposition-held al-Sakhour neighborhood in Aleppo
At least 46 civilians were killed and scores injured in regime attacks in Al-Hasakah since Thursday


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Bee Cutie Christmas Ornament
Personalized Christmas Ornament
Dimensions: 1 1/4" x 3"
Material: Glass - Old World Christmas
What's all the buzz about? This adorable little bumble bee is just looking for his honey! He looks awfully dapper wearing a red bow tie and is waiting to present his honey bee with the fragrant daisy that he picked for the occasion. He already did "she loves me, she loves me not" and determined that she loves him! The yellow and black striped of a bee are unmistakable and these insects build honeycomb homes and produce beeswax. Feeding on nectar and pollen bees are adapted with a long proboscis allowing them to reach into the flowers that they draw from. This personalized bee ornament is a wonderful gift for someone special. You will fall in love with him as a holiday decoration.
Customer Reviews
I am only writing this once, although I purchased 4 of them. Bumble Bee is very cute and I like it where you personalized it but am hoping for a couple of new BEE ornaments next year - they are not easy to find so I always order through you guys and have been so happy with both your price and service. Hope you get a new one or two ornaments next year!
Read what our customers say about our Personalized Christmas Ornaments and their shopping experience!Hover over testimonials to stop scrolling
6/30/2016 - "I love my ornaments from Ornament Shop. The kids and grand kids look forward to receiving them and I love giving personalized ornaments. Sheryl S."
12/8/2015 - "I ordered items for my mom and myself...both if us wete extremely satisfied with our purchases...choices we had seen nowhere else.it was a great experience.Kathy M."
7/12/2016 - "I was concerned that all of the information that I wanted on it would not fit, but it came out beautifully. Carole D."
6/27/2016 - "I was so pleased with my order last year that I changed over from another company I have purchased from for 15 years. Diane G."
12/30/2015 - "We are planning a cruise this year and we gave the cruise ship ornament to eat of our seven children and their spouses complete with there names, the cruise name and the year! It was a great way to give this gift of a cruise to our children as we celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary. They all loved the ornaments.Danna W."
1/12/2016 - "Dianne, I just wanted to let you know that I have received my replacement ornament , and it has arrived in perfect condition, and I love it and I am so happy! Thank you so much for your fast and amazing service ...I look forward to working with you again next year, and I will pass on your business to my friends and family...Sincerely, Maureen McI"
8/27/2015 - "Everything was perfect. I love all the ornaments. You have some unique ornaments that make my gift-giving so much more appropriate and personal. Thank you. Pauline"
5/1/2016 - "Great job! Debra R."
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7/23/2016 - "I had left off part of the personalization and they called me a l/2 hour after I placed the order to complete the personalization by phone. Susan R."


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I am trying to find a good resort for an all-inclusive vacation. I will be traveling the second week of January with my boyfriend, coming from Washington, DC. We are looking for an island that has warm enough weather during that time to be on the beach/in the pool most of the time.
We are looking for a relaxing vacation and do not care about leaving the property or doing tons of activities - just want to take advantage of a great beach/pools- and get to spend quality time together somewhere beautiful! A spa would definitely be a great bonus.
Any advice/suggestions on resorts that fit the bill and aren't incredibly expensive would be greatly appreciated. We are looking to stay 5 nights - and would ideally like to spend less than $1200 each (including airfare).
Recent ActivityView all Caribbean Islands activity »
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- 2 Looking for island choice help
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- 7 Guadeloupe, Martinique or St Martin?
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- 18 Help me choose an all-inclusive resort
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All-inclusive for relaxing vacation in January
Report Abuse
You asked this question back in May. I'm not sure what type of answer your are wanting at this point. We gave you plenty of options and choices then.
Based on your tags, there is only one AI in GC. The Reef resort, which is not located on 7 Mile Beach and away from everything. The Marriott, which is located on 7 Mile Beach has an AI plan.
I think there might be one or two AI's in St. Martin. Check the link I gave you on your other thread.
Report Abuse
Look at Negril Jamaica. Give Punta Cana DR a miss.
Report Abuse
Cancun is another great place, there are tons of options but we stayed at Crown Paradise
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Is "Obama-care" Screwed? (a fable about the end??? of "Obama-care")
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John Boehner and his wife Debbie traveled to the White House to visit with President Obama and first lady Michelle. A parcel had arrived ahead of the Boehners for John. Michelle Obama handed the parcel to Boehner. Inside the box was a air of slippers and a hand written note from an "acquaintance" (a health insurance broker friend). In the note, he wrote that the slippers would give him great sexual prowess.
His wife immediately became very interested in the slippers after what the John had said, but John felt he really didn't need them, being the "God" he was. Boehner asked the President, "How could slippers make you into a sex freak?" The President replied, "You've got nothing to lose John, try them on." So, Boehner, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something Mrs. Boehner hadn't seen in many years! In the blink of an eye, Boehner grabbed the President, bent him over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of President, by the hips.
President Obama then began screaming, "John.....John, you've got them on the wrong feet man! The WROOOONG FEEEET!"
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