text: Personal Accounts Hold on Tight Alicia M. Grochowik T he quiet, polite, and innocent girl. Ballerina and big sister. I portrayed what others thought was was socially accepted. I changed my course of study from nursing to jour- nalism and went from wanting to be A relationship that began when I was too young and lasted too long ended. It was time for a short relationship good. For years the façade I once be- like mom to wanting to be like the with simply me, for me. It didn't last lieved to be real stayed attached. But heroine in Message From Nam, a long. With a full credit load of class- in some ways it made me crazy, or so Danielle Steele novel. The journalist es, weekends at home to waitress, I thought. Really, it was genetics. who searches for her one true love in and a craving for change, I stayed on I wrote stories and tales when a war-torn country. How romantic. campus one weekend. The former young, then desperate poetry a little I felt I had already let Mom down. good girl wanted to use her new- later. In my late teens came dark, I would not fulfill the plans I felt she found drinking abilities and single sad, and angst-ridden notes. It was had envisioned for me. The idealized status. I also had a new personality the age of Nirvana. I was a "Gen life I would give her was not to hap- that came with it: extremely outgo- Xer" in flannel and Levi's. I fit the pen. I always felt the need to prove ing, friends with everyone, no limits. part. Externally quiet, a future something to her. I always wanted No more weekends at home or nurse, mother, wife. Internally cre- her to be proud. I was always looking church on Sundays, although I man- ative, frustrated, loud, with visions of for more from her and more to give aged to continue working—working city lights and fame. I was 18, and my her. No matter what, I always ques- on a 15-credit course load, 15 hours life was planned. Two years of col- tioned her love for me. The history waitressing every weekend, and so- lege, nursing career, brood of three of my mind is similar to that of my cial obligations—all with very little or four, white picket fence. I look mother's—though I wouldn't know sleep, except for hangover relief and back now and I see how sheltered until later on. true exhaustion. I could laugh and and clueless I was. I did see life So I acquired a view of some inde- play all night. Always the last to bed. through rose-colored glasses, even pendence. A little more thought Always the last to rise. with the chest pains, aching head, went into the change of my college I met my future one night. While and swirling thoughts. major than reading a novel, but it drunk with mutual friends at a colle- I realize now how I was constantly definitely fueled the pondering. And giate home on the lake, I found a struggling to meet the needs of oth- obviously, so did some of the hor- young man tailgating me for hours. I ers, to achieve a unique perfection, mones that had started to change didn't want him. Leave me alone. I'm to conform and fit in. Ironically, I al- lanes in my brain. Next came the in- finally single. Go away. These ways felt alone no matter who was troduction to alcohol. Vodka. Oh, the thoughts crossed my mind. He there. I found constant flaws. Never lovely throat-warming, body-numb- stalked me, and I avoided him for content and always looking for ing liquid, the alcohol (which I had weeks. Then I finally said okay to a more—of what I wasn't sure. The never drunk before) finally entered date during winter break. The date bubble didn't fully burst until I my life. It showed up far later than it has lasted nearly a decade, as luck turned 19 or 20. And even then it had for many of my friends. I had would truly have it. I managed to didn't completely explode. That's been the "good one," the designated graduate from college and escaped how they say it happens, anyway. I fit driver, always to bed early, and yes, I from parental dependency. We the statistic. I was always an emo- went to church on Sundays. My halo moved away together. He maintained tional child. Constantly searching for was getting rusty and morphing into a stable job, was over his youthful attention from those I felt security horns. habits and immaturity, and had some with. Dancing, singing, and draw- What happened next is a timeline reasonable fun on occasion. ing—art was my comfort. The tor- that if hooked to a cardio monitor I was just getting started. I flew mented part came later, about two would resemble a roller coaster. over the cuckoo's nest and landed years into college. I slowly crawled From the age of 19 until I was 28, I only when exhausted. Every minute out of my padded shell of comfort. I flourished or failed at nearly every- was a scene, every day a dance. thing I did—and very dramatically at We managed to make our relation- Ms. Grochowik is a counseling teacher in that. It was fun while it lasted. I don't ship last in the midst of some very Winooski, Vermont (e-mail: madjack24@ ever want to go back. difficult years after college. He had adelphia.net). Jeffrey L. Geller, M.D., At 19, I began to end the life I de- joined a circus without much choice, M.P.H., is editor of this column. signed to meet others' expectations. and I was the star attraction. They PSYCHIATRIC SERVICES ♦ ps.psychiatryonline.org ♦ December 2006 Vol. 57 No. 12 1705 say your twenties are difficult— graphical change in our life. We nev- When I returned home, I prom- growing up, social life balanced with er moved to the ten other states I ised change. It always went full cir- a career, relationship, kids, basically told others I dreamed of. Funny how cle. And there he would be, our the beginning of the future. They are a change in location is the focus of steady hands outstretched every right. My twenties included a rela- those in denial. This town stinks, time, always waiting, with my dogs tionship with alcohol, my boyfriend- blah, blah, blah. Let's move. For sev- waiting for me to return. The ride fiancé, poetry and writing, new inde- eral months things seemed to move would shut down and the intention pendence, dreams, Marlboros, a so- smoothly. I had a steady job, enjoyed was always to change, but the urges cial life, and complete insanity. I had a daily buzz, and bought a home. I were stronger. Willpower was not an a full-time job, booze, and eventual- was extremely motivated, fast, option. And the changes just didn't ly an overwhelming urge to sleep all planned to save the world, meet happen fast enough. It was supposed day and avoid reality. I loved mid- Madonna (because I was sure we'd to be quick and easy. A couple of AA night TV and sunrises. My clock was be best friends), enter politics, and meetings, an increased dose of Paxil, backwards. To some, I was funny, join the Peace Corps and the Armed and then, "Here's to the repeat of- and to others, exhausting. I loved a Forces. Not to mention the plans I fender—cheers, chug, chug." random swig of liquor and chain had to completely change the dy- Then, after another year of a re- smoking. My boyfriend-fiancé was namic and purpose of the place I bellious return to the party girl youth frustrated. I was selfish and told him worked to better suit the needs of I never had, came the crash and to loosen up. Nothing was simple. the community. I had visions and burn. December 28, 2003. Day 5 of Everything was extreme. plans beyond belief. None of this an alcohol binge. 5 a.m. I knocked on In the four years after college, I happened, and it was as exhausting my own front door. I was locked out had four or five jobs, got fired only as it seems. after I escaped to party with so- once, drank a lot of booze, threw it Before I moved back to Vermont, I called friends who I knew had the up, supported tobacco companies, had been planning our wedding to be fixings for a good drunk and more. I and yelled, argued, cried, stressed, held in a year. I changed my mind. was at the point where if I could and became depressed. It was not For no apparent reason, it was to have found harder drugs, they would good. It didn't feel bad at the time, happen in two months after our have been the perfect fit. It was five and somehow we managed to main- move, but my family persuaded me to days after Christmas. It was freezing tain the relationship. Somehow he wait at least six months. I wanted outside, and I was walking around survived with me. He has said to me, everything as soon as possible and no town like a hobo. Alone. The pain "I knew things would change. I al- later. By the time the wedding plan- was wretched. My mind was wound ways had hope." My future—the ning and event was complete, I spi- up so tight, though scattered person and the place—was saved be- raled down from the high. I knew I thoughts somehow moved. Racing cause the one I pushed away that would be sad once it ended, but I did- heart, wounded soul. I was com- night in college stayed holding my n't realize how truly down I became. pletely destroyed. I knocked on the hand, even while I swung from chan- At first I thought it was boredom. I door forever; he answered and deliers and barstools. needed a new project to work on. The opened and went back to bed. No Back then I didn't want change. project should have been me. hands outstretched. The dogs were "Have fun, loosen up," I would tell Instead, I became complacent— happy and confused. I smelled like him. No matter the pain I put him depressed and wired at the same smoke, alcohol, and sweat. I sat and through, he held on tight. Along with time. time stood still. the constants in my life of depression The next year, several months after The quiet, calm early morning was and addiction, he was always there, the honeymoon, I was at more than a a contradiction to my current exis- my guardian angel. Eventually, I pack a day, consuming barrels of tence. I felt like the only person found Paxil. The doctor said it would Mountain Dew, a little coffee with awake in the world. It was the start calm my nerves and help me through my sugar, booze, booze, booze, a lit- of a new day—and the start of a new depressive times. I had my Paxil, tle weed, and at four months of mar- life. Eyeliner and mascara stained cigs, and booze. riage I went to the bookstore and my eyes. My hair was matted and Finally, we moved back home. We didn't come home. I never made it gross. I picked up the phone. Emo- bought a house. The irony: on the there and stayed with friends for tionless. No tears. No anger. I was first day in our new house, using a three days. It was like a version of blank. "I have been drinking for five small knife to cut the lime for a cele- Lennon's "lost weekend." This hap- days straight. I feel like shit and I am bratory beer, I cut my finger and pened several more times. I would tired of it. And, yes, I would not bled and ended up in the hospital. leave home, sometimes drunk, with mind if I died right now." Several stitches later, I came home. the intention to evade boredom and At 9 a.m., he brought me to the If that wasn't an obvious sign. I would end up somewhere for a peri- place of change. He dropped me off thought to myself "Hint: you're a od of time, usually at friends' houses with a bag and a hug. "I'm doing this drunk! Have some Kool-Aid in- or a cheap hotel. I always had plenty for us," I said. "You need to do this stead." But, I still didn't get it. of cigs and drinks available for these for you," he said. "I love you. Good- I guess moving back was the geo- occasional reality hiatuses. bye," we said. 1706 PSYCHIATRIC SERVICES ♦ ps.psychiatryonline.org ♦ December 2006 Vol. 57 No. 12 In 30 days in the midst of discus- a mean, heartless person. I was sick, tence in my life. I have given him a sions with medical staff and coun- and I had needed help for a very long view of life, emotion, and reality selors, my already obvious affliction time. gone awry. Although I am not proud of alcoholism was found to have a My padded shell no longer exists. I of many things past, I fully believe partner. "You have a dual diagnosis. do not need to escape from reality, things happen for a reason. We are Alcohol addiction, bipolar. . . ." I had hiding behind a deceitful grin or a both stronger and our lives richer always wondered, but I never really bottle anymore. My emotions are with awareness. Together, we rode knew. I had quickly acknowledged real and I embrace them now. I em- the waves of insanity and recovery. I that I was an alcoholic, but bipolar brace life now with the help of meds learned to live for me and now can disorder, manic depression—it all and avoidance of drugs, alcohol, and give to both of us. Good thing I gave made sense. Addiction and mental bad decisions. Days come and go— in. That single college girl had no illness. Together as one. For 28 one day at a time. They do not swal- idea that the decision to say a stub- years, I lived with quiet demons that low me for days and regurgitate me born yes to him had likely saved her did not seem to be real. I'm a mess. half alive. I feel them, explore, and life. And while we stand steadfast I'm depressed. Well, yeah, and let them go. and strong as individuals, safety sur- there's a reason for it. It explained so He stands there, still. Since the rounds us. My hand can reach out much, and I had answers for the day I said yes and those in between, now to meet his—strong and grasp- "why's." It did not excuse my behav- his hand has been held out to me. ing. I have survived. We made it iors but validated the reality. I wasn't The one true constant, solid exis- through. Submissions for Datapoints Invited Submissions to the journal's Datapoints column are invited. The column pub- lishes analyses of data on mental health services of relevance to psychiatric clin- ical or policy issues. National data are preferred. Areas of interest include diag- nosis and practice patterns, treatment modalities, treatment sites, patient char- acteristics, and payment sources. The analyses should be straightforward, so that the figure or figures tell the story. The text should follow the standard research format to include a brief introduction, description of the methods and data set, description of the results, and comments on the implications or meanings of the findings. Datapoints columns are typically 350 to 400 words of text with one or two fig- ures. Maximum text length is 500 words, including title, author names, affilia- tions, references, and acknowledgments. Submissions over the word limit will be returned. Submissions will be reviewed promptly; additional peer review may be warranted. Inquiries or submissions should be directed to Harold Alan Pincus, M.D., Terri L. Tanielian, M.S., or Amy M. Kilbourne, Ph.D., M.P.H., who are editors of the column. Contact Ms. Tanielian at RAND, 1200 South Hayes Street, Arlington, VA 22202 (e-mail: email@example.com). PSYCHIATRIC SERVICES ♦ ps.psychiatryonline.org ♦ December 2006 Vol. 57 No. 12 1707


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Cowboys 5-1 on road when scoring first
IRVING, Texas -- The Dallas Cowboys have a 12-4 road record in the team's two playoff seasons under coach Wade Phillips.
That record will be put to the test Sunday afternoon, when the Cowboys visit the Minnesota Vikings, who are 8-0 at the Metrodome this season and 14-2 over the past two seasons.
More on the Cowboys
Tim MacMahon, Todd Archer and Jean-Jacques Taylor have the Dallas Cowboys blanketed.
Blog » ESPN Dallas »
Top 50 Cowboys
"It's a good environment of football," Vikings coach Brad Childress said in a conference call with reporters Wednesday. "Our guys are used to it, and it can get rocking and rolling. I anticipate that on Sunday."
Whether the Dome is loud or not, the Cowboys don't see it as a problem. After all, Dallas went 5-3 on the road in 2009 -- including three significant wins.
On Oct. 11, the Cowboys trailed Kansas City 13-3 in the third quarter and looked dead. But behind wide receiver Miles Austin, who had 10 catches for a franchise-record 250 yards and two touchdowns, the Cowboys rallied for a 26-20 overtime win.
On Nov. 8, the Cowboys visited the Eagles for the first time since Philadelphia prevented Dallas from clinching a playoff berth in the 2008 regular-season finale, creating numerous changes within the Cowboys organization.
But the Cowboys came out on top, beating the Eagles 20-16.
The Cowboys' last significant road victory this season came in New Orleans on Dec. 19. The Cowboys entered the game against the undefeated Saints with consecutive losses to start December. But outside linebacker DeMarcus Ware returned from a strained neck injury, and the inspired Cowboys beat the Saints 24-17.
"I think you prepare with the mindset that we have to start fast and go for their heart immediately. Go for their heart early and just put that little bit of doubt in their minds. They're human.
" -- Cowboys linebacker Keith Brooking
Several Cowboys players feel that victory in the Superdome, where it was loud for most of the game, will help them in the Metrodome.
"You got to have that confidence going into these away games because it will be a hostile atmosphere," Ware said. "We've been playing really well on the road, which is good because it brings us a little bit closer together. It lets everybody know it's not where you play, it's how your team combats all the adversity in that opposing team stadium."
Getting off to a fast start is crucial for the Cowboys, who were 5-1 on the road when they scored first this season. Dallas has scored on its first possession in four of the past five games, including the postseason.
Opponents, meanwhile, have not scored on their first possession since the Oakland Raiders did it versus the Cowboys on Nov. 26.
"I think you prepare with the mindset that we have to start fast and go for their heart immediately," inside linebacker Keith Brooking said. "Go for their heart early and just put that little bit of doubt in their minds.
"They're human. The human element is always there. The more doubt we can put in their minds early, the better off for us. And if that doesn't take place, be prepared for a 3½-hour battle."
Calvin Watkins covers the Cowboys for ESPN Dallas. You can follow him on Twitter or leave a question for his weekly mailbag.
- Watkins: Cowboys not elite yet
- MacMahon: Romo never had chance
- Mosley: Abrupt ending to Boys season
- Calf injury knocks OL Adams out of game
- More NFL divisional playoff coverage
- First Take: Cowboys' Anthony Spencer
- Johnston discusses Dallas' locker room
- Field Pass: Keys, matchups and picks
- Can the Cowboys contain the Vikings?
- Marcellus Wiley reveals his X-factor
- Werder: Romo faces his boyhood idol
- Behind enemy lines with Vikes' CB Griffin
- Word on the Street: Cowboys-Vikings
- Collinsworth says Carpenter will be key
- NFL Live crew makes their predictions
- Herd: Irvin previews Cowboys-Vikings
- Jerome Bettis breaks down Vikings O-line
- Roundtable: Werder and Watkins
- Woodson: Ware and Spencer will be key
- NFL Live: Demonstrating Cowboys' draw
- Vikings preparing for Cowboys' defense
- Who's more clutch: Romo or Favre?
- Van Pelt: Austin on Cowboys' chemistry
- Werder: Ware's return motivated team
- Irvin: Troy Aikman on Cowboys' success
- Can the Cowboys roll over the Vikings?
- Vikings' Sidney Rice: Super Bowl or bust
- Michael Irvin discusses Cowboys' run
- The Herd: Brooking raves about Cowboys
- Chalk Talk: Breaking down the game
- Cowboys getting ready for Brett Favre
- Go To Guys: Analysis by Irvin, Galloway
- Fitz-Newton: Phillips deserves an apology
- NFL Primetime: Cowboys-Vikings preview
- Countdown Daily: Dilfer's key matchup
- Cowboys are Vikings' worst nightmare
- Miles Austin's patient rise to stardom
- 'We'd have to beat ourselves to lose'
- Cowboys' chemistry experiment pays off
- Jerry: Defense could be great for long time
- Vikings' Winfield has tough test vs. Austin
- Mosley: Felix Jones is Cowboys' X factor
- Vikings' X factor: TE Visanthe Shiancoe
- D hopes to keep RB Peterson sputtering
- Cowboys' defense peaking at right time
- Myth and reality of Metrodome's impact
- Phillips' defenses have .500 mark vs. Favre
- Vikings welcome Cowboys to "the 'hood"
- Brett Favre's playoff history isn't very pretty
- Spencer presents mismatch for Vikings
Coverage: Saints 45, Cardinals 14
Coverage: Colts 20, Ravens 3
Jets 17, Chargers 14
- Rangers' Darvish leaves with triceps tightness
- Mavs look to slow streaking Blazers | 3 Points
- Goodell: Super Bowl XLV seat issues NFL's fault
- Cowboys add LB Rivers | Murray visits Duke
- Kiper mock: Cowboys go corner in first round
- Heavy duty: Baylor to try 410-pounder at TE
- Source: McGee-Celts deal fizzles over option
- Andrus: I took offseason more seriously | JJT
- Elhassan: Rondo simply a bad fit for Mavs
- Dallas Cowboys Merchandising Youth Miles Austin Navy T-shirt
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PATTY'S, pet friendly, with a garden in Portmagee, County Kerry, Ref 12155
From $396 / week
Hide Property Details
- 3 bedrooms
- 2 bathrooms
- Sleeps 8
- House
Description from the manager
This semi detached cottage is located near to Portmagee in County Kerry and can sleep eight people in three bedrooms. Patty's is a semi detached cottage near to the small fishing village of Portmagee in County Kerry. The cottage sleeps eight people and has two double bedrooms (one with an ensuite), one family room anda sofa bed, plus a family bathroom. Also in the cottage is a fitted kitchen with a dining area and a sitting room with the sofa bed and a multi-fuel stove. Outside the cottage is off road parking for four cars and enclosed lawned gardens with outdoor furniture and a barbecue. Set just a short stroll from the coast, Patty's is a superb...Read more
PATTY'S, pet friendly, with a garden in Portmagee, County Kerry, Ref 12155
Portmagee, County Kerry, Ireland
What's Nearby:
Additional Location Information
- Washing Machine
- Towels Provided
- Linens Provided
- Internet Access
- Refrigerator
- Dishwasher
- Television
- Pet friendly - yes
- Smoking allowed - yes
- Suitable for children - yes
- Suitable for the elderly - ask
- Wheelchair accessible - ask
Have you stayed here?
This rental is awaiting reviews from past guests. Help out travelers and the owner by being the first to write a review!


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The Drowned World: A Novel (50th Anniversary Edition)
A new generation discovers "the most original English writer of the last century." —China Miéville, The Nation Appearing in hardcover in America for the first time, this neglected Ballardian masterpiece promises to be a touchstone for environmentalists the world over. First published in 1962, J.G. Ballard's mesmerizing and ferociously imaginative novel not only gained him widespread critical


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Everyone has a pastSubmitted by Mary (not verified) on Tue, 12/04/2012 - 10:30am.
Everyone has a past including you. People change! There was no excuse for this! A man is dead and all you can do is bring up his past to try to justify it! This is a tradegy. No excuse for this! »
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PlantFiles: African Milk Tree
Euphorbia trigona f. rubra
Family: Euphorbiaceae (yoo-for-bee-AY-see-ee) (Info) Genus: Euphorbia (yoo-FOR-bee-uh) (Info) Species: trigona f. rubra One vendor has this plant for sale. 21 members have or want this plant for trade. Category: Height: Spacing: Hardiness: Sun Exposure: Danger: Bloom Color: Bloom Time: Foliage: Other details: Soil pH requirements: Patent Information: Propagation Methods: Seed Collecting: | Click thumbnail to view: By Happenstance By palmbob By cacti_lover By angele By BROforest By palmbob There are a total of 21 photos. |
13 positives
No neutrals
No negatives
Gardeners' Notes:
This plant has been said to grow in the following regions:
Bonsall, California
Capistrano Beach, California
Castro Valley, California
Clayton, California
Hayward, California
Los Angeles, California
Reseda, California
San Diego, California
San Dimas, California
Thousand Oaks, California
Venice, California
Vista, California
Bartow, Florida
North Port, Florida
Sebastian, Florida
Suwanee, Georgia
Richmond, Indiana
Columbia City, Oregon
Pulaski, Tennessee
Brownsville, Texas
Fort Worth, Texas
La Vernia, Texas
San Antonio, Texas
Dillwyn, Virginia
Seattle, Washington


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Got a 2001 1.8t Quattro. Seems to be when it's warm outside and dry my speedo and fuel gauge stop working. The speedo stays on zero and the gauge goes down when accelerating. It's rained today and gone cold, guess what speedo has come back on working fine! Any help would be great!
Could be an electrical connection inside somewhere, my central locking is funny when its hot outside, it will unlock the rear doors twice, and then try again when you turn the ignition on!! If its cool its fine...
Could be the heat affecting the pod internals?, have you managed to scan the instrument cluster? might be worth doing first
Not scanned no; it's just strange that heat and wet weather can effect it that's why I thought something underneath the car.
Mk1 Skoda Octavia's suffer the same problem that you describe, & it's usually caused by dry solder joints on the 2 voltage regulators in the dash. It's quite possible you have the same problem as the Audi dash is very similar. Sometimes reseating the dash connectors can fix the problem too, but most of the time it's a dry joint.
I was thinking dry joint also, the rain will be acting as a heat sink. So ambient will drop allowing the car to contract slightly including all the plastics and so forth. opposite with the heat, allowing the dry joint to fail. Could be worth speaking with an auto sparky, might be able to replace it for you but I'd be you'd be looking at around 150ish smackers.
Have look here. Scroll down the thread & there's a how to guide. speedo` (instrument cluster) problems - SOLVED - BRISKODA.net - The Skoda Forum and Community


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I really like this bench...knew it was ivory from past reviews which helped because that is the color I wanted. Chip out of side where dowels were inserted...bulge on other side but other than that basically good construction...easy to put together, seems sturdy but distressing is nothing to write home about but happy with purchase. Opted for compensation rather than the hassle of reshipping back and receiving another potentially damaged product...compensation not that great but happy I could keep bench and not have to return.
The assemble was very easy and tood only 10 minutes by myself. It is a perfect bench for a summery decorated room. The color is NOT bright white, but it is off-white, or creamy white with distressed touch. Overall, I highly recommend this bench.
Do not buy this bench if you plan on actually sitting on it! There is only one small, thin, cross "beam" located in the middle of the underside of the seat part of this bench. If you happen to sit on either side of the bench it will not support you and will break. I put this in my closet so we could sit on it while putting on shoes etc.. My husband who weighs 185lbs sat to the right of of the cross beam and it acted like a teeter totter and broke through the bottom. Very poorly designed! While I knew it was inexpensive, I would have thought it could be used for the purpose for which it was designed
This bench is gorgeous and I love it. Please note: The color listed in the description is not accurate. The actual color is Ivory/Pale Yellow which is exactly what I wanted.....It is not white. I am very happy with my purchase!
Easy to assemble. Only two of the wooden dowel pegs were broken due to very rough shipping, but it was packed very well. I bought it to go with Paula Deen bedroom furniture and its an exact match...looks like its part of the collection.
Really love the bench. Just the right size for an odd wall. I have a Cape Cod decor and this with 2 pottery Barn pillows in a soft gray of star fish make the space.
I like the banch. Might not be a wonderful quality or material. I guess we need to be careful, but I did like. Looks cute in my dinningroom.
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Famous as :
ActressBirth Name :
Eva Maria Livia AmurriBirth Date :
March 15, 1985Birth Place :
New York City, New York, USASpouse :
Kyle Martino (soccer commentator, since 29-Oct-11)Claim to fame :
As Cassandra in "Saved!" (2004)Latest News
Eva Amurri and Kyle Martino Welcome First Child
August 12, 2014 02:08:06 GMTEva Amurri and her husband, Kyle Martino, welcomed their daughter, her representative confirmed to PEOPLE. Eva's baby girl named Marlowe Mae Martino was born on Saturday, August 9 weighing 6 pounds, 11 ounces.
Susan Sarandon to Be a Grandmother
February 15, 2014 05:43:29 GMTSusan Sarandon will be a grandmother later this year. Her daughter with Italian director Franco Amurri, Eva Amurri, has just announced her pregnancy. Eva reveals that she is expecting her first child with her husband Kyle Martino in a statement to PEOPLE.
Susan Sarandon and Eva Amurri to Topline NBC's 'Growing Ivy'
October 15, 2013 06:23:38 GMTAcademy Award-winning actress Susan Sarandon and her daughter Eva Amurri will star on and executive produce the pilot for NBC's new comedy "Growing Ivy". Amurri will also be writing the script with Will McCormack, who's also co-executive producing with the mother-daughter tandem along with "Parks and Recreation" star Rashida Jones.
Susan Sarandon's Daughter Has Officially Become Mrs. Kyle Martino
October 31, 2011 08:13:09 GMTEva Amurri is officially a married woman. The 26-year-old daughter of Susan Sarandon said her "I do" to former Major League Soccer player Kyle Martino in a ceremony taking place in the historic town of Charleston, South Carolina on Saturday, October 29 afternoon.
Susan Sarandon's Daughter Gets Raunchy in Bachelorette Party Invite
September 23, 2011 06:30:17 GMTHer bachelorette party is yet to be kicked off, but Eva Amurri is already giving a taste of her wild side. The actress daughter of Susan Sarandon has stripped down to a pair of skimpy black-and-white lingerie and posed provocatively by flaunting off her backside for the invitation to the bash.
Susan Sarandon's Daughter Eva Amurri Engaged to Kyle Martino
December 13, 2010 05:39:18 GMTIt's official, Eva Amurri said yes when her boyfriend Kyle Martino popped up the question over the weekend. The daughter of director Franco Amurri and veteran actress Susan Sarandon is now in Europe with her fiance, enjoying Venice Boat Parade.


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Back in August, someone in another thread mentioned they only rip to AIFF and that they were re-ripping some of their files that were ALAC to AIFF. I asked if they can really hear a difference between two lossless formats and i apparently hit a nerve i didnt know was exposed. After a brief discussion about lossless files, this person blocked me
Some people have a difficult time dealing with facts that put their worldview into question.


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What's Your Personal Currency?
Tomorrow (Sunday) morning, I will be on HOT 97FM with host, Lisa Evers, and others talking about money.
On Tuesday, I have one of the coolest speaking gigs to-date for a major insurance company.
On Wednesday, I'm hosting the first Financial Intimacy Hour segment of 2015.
Each of these are examples of the Relationship Economy at work in my life.
What are recent examples at work in yours?
Your examples and mine are reminders that not only is business done between people, but business comes through people.
It's no mystery that you and I don't achieve success on our efforts alone. After all, we know success is all about relationships.
The mystery is the fact that you rarely know who holds the key to what's next for you – who will be that person to unlock the door that makes room for your next opportunity be it promotion, job, client or something else you desire!
It's a mystery that some (maybe even you) don't manage well. In part, because you've fallen for the myth. The myth that says the key to growth and advancement is "keep your head down" and work – and don't forget to work hard, too. And so you do and you end up working harder on the work than you do on what leads to the work in the first place.
The other reason is that embracing the mystery feels a little bit like leaving too much to chance, which is totally counter to your nature to want to be in control.
And so…
Even though you may feel stagnant in your career or business, you either network ineffectively or with a "me-focused" mentality. Or, just as unfortunate, you only network when you need something – like a new job or new client.
You confuse having an extensive contact list or thousands of friends on Facebook or many followers on Twitter or 500+ connections on LinkedIn as having cultivated relationships with all these people.
You don't recognize your emotional intelligence as the intangible currency that can help you connect to the human being beneath the persona we all have.
Yes, relationships have been the cornerstone of business since, well, forever. But in the new economy of the 21st century when even employees are a "brand," relationship management skills aren't a nice-to-have. They are required.
How well you manage the relationships in your life are your personal currency. Because…
…rarely are you in the room (or at the table) when important decisions about YOU are being made.
So when you don't manage the mystery of relationships well, you miss out on the inside-scoop; you don't have someone advocating for you over other options; and you potentially elongate your path to even greater success.
When you don't manage the mystery of relationships, you end up sacrificing the very key to your success!
On the other hand, when you tap into the mystery of relationships:
- You realize that having a relationship-building strategy isn't sleazy and manipulative. When done with a "win-win" intent, it's smart.
- You learn how to genuinely build rapport and trust while being sensitive to other people's boundaries AND without stretching yourself too thin.
- You realize that sometimes your best opportunities actually come through people who aren't the closest to you. Ironic, right?
Relationship building is both art + science. It's also a skill.
If you'd like to refine your relationship management skills…
If you'd like more success at work…
If you'd like to experience deeper personal connections at home (because what creates a great business life can also create a great personal life)…
I invite you to this month's Financial Intimacy Hour this coming Wednesday, 25 February at 8pm ET. My guest, Michelle Y. Talbert, Esq. will share how to use curiosity, the art of conversation, and the skill of making connections to experience more success at work and more meaning at home.
Hope you can join us! Click here to register; it's FREE.
p.s. if you can, tune into HOT 97FM at 9am on Sunday, February 22nd! Click here to stream the station from your computer.
But, Did You Change Your Mind?
It's here! That time of year when you and I are inundated with messages about how to make this year our best year yet. According to the University of Scranton-Journal of Clinical Psychology, 45% of Americans will do this by making New Years resolutions.
Some will tell you that making resolutions is the key to your transformation; others will tell you resolutions are hogwash and instead you should focus on goals.
At the end of the day, I think it boils down to semantics. You can call it making resolutions or goal-setting – either way, both reflect that there is something about your current reality or experience that you want to change.
With all the emphasis on the actions you need to take to achieve your resolution or goal (i.e., avoid junk food; exercise more; spend less; save more; etc.), which indeed is important, I wish more people focused on the mindset needed to change their reality.
To truly succeed at keeping your resolutions or with meeting your goals, you need to change your mind, too!
Do you know why? Because most of the obstacles you'll face as you work on your resolution or goal are internal…not external.
I encountered this this morning. One of my personal goals for 2015 is to run four (4) half-marathons. The first one I'm targeting is March 15th, not that far away. So that means I need to run! But I run outside, and when I saw the air temperature was 16 degrees with the wind chill making it even colder, I was NOT too enthusiastic about today's run and almost talked myself out of it.
But I reminded myself that while I can't control the weather, I can choose how many layers to put on. Plus, I play this game with myself where, daily, I can ask, "If I do nothing else today, what would make me feel successful – like I accomplished something?" Whatever that is, I do. Today, that was running regardless of how cold it is.
So, a full week into 2015, if you need help with your resolutions or goals, consider this:
- It's not enough to have a plan. You'll be better served if your plan addresses not just the actions you need to take, but also the mindset you need to have to keep your resolutions or meet your goals.
- Think about your resolutions/goals through the prism of the habits or rituals you need to foster to set yourself up for success, as well as those you need to discontinue.
- Don't just focus on the large, sweeping resolution/goal you have. Also visualize the smaller ones that need to happen along the way that ultimately make the big one possible. (For example, today's 3.3 mile run helps me get ready for March's 13.2 mile run.)
- Go beyond the surface reason for your resolution/goal. Invest the time to tap into the real motivation; here's a good time to ask, "What else?"
- Write down (preferably on paper) the one thing you can do daily and weekly to set yourself up for success.
- Then, write down what you'll do to re-group when you falter. (ALERT! We all falter from time to time. Having a lapse or relapse isn't the issue – it's what you do to get back into the groove that matters.)
- Know the tools and the people you'll need to support you…and then diligently use them!
In truth, this time of year really isn't that different than any other month or day. It's just that it is a universal marker for us all to collectively start over or do something we've never done before – together.
So whether you prefer to make resolutions or make goals, I wish you the happiest, healthiest, and most successful year to date. I hope your challenges and disappointments are not too great. And, I hope your good experiences surpass your wildest dreams and expectations.
Happy, Happy New Year!
The Key Question: "What Else?"
One of the most powerful personal finance tools you have at your disposal isn't a spending or investment app. Or, a spreadsheet. It isn't your income statement or balance sheet, either. It's a question.
Preferably one that begins with the word – "What?"
I have long known this. It's one of the reasons you hear me tout the importance of insight over information; it's why I say let the "activity" of inquiry guide the actions you take.
But last week's Financial Intimacy Hour provided even more proof! My guest, Heidi Johnson, and I had a vibrant conversation about the ways in which curiosity can improve your career, life and money decisions. (click here to grab the replay.)
When I asked Heidi what one thing would she recommend for living more curiously in 2015, she responded: "…ask 'What Else?'"
I plan to. You might want to give it a try, as well.
Here's why.
This time of the year gets crazy. And not just because it's the holiday season. But because it is also when the usual year-end review and new year goal-setting kicks in. In between the holiday gatherings and gift shopping, you're most likely reflecting on this year's goals and dreams, and claiming how you want 2015 to be different (better, perhaps?).
And if you are like many of my clients before we start to work together, ALL of this is happening in your head!!
The "busyness" of the season prevents you from slowing down long enough to get out on paper where you are versus where you thought you'd be, along with where you still want to be.
I know you are smart, but you need to get out of your head! Especially if experiencing more success (however you define that) is one of your aims.
Make 2015 the Year of "What Else?"
Asking, "What else?" can help.
Specifically, it can stop you from only:
- doing your year-end assessment, mentally
- declaring your goals and dreams, vocally
- affirming what you want to change, vocally
The benefits of asking "what else?" are many:
It sets you up to review the past and plan for your future – without judgment.
It gives you an opportunity to dig deeper to ensure you go beyond the surface (aka the obvious).
And when those urges to lay out a how-to plan surface, it will help you table that temptation until a more appropriate time when such a step will actually have some value.
Imagine if your every desire for 2015 came true – what would accomplishing your goals look like; how would it feel to achieve your dreams; what habits and choices do you envision needing to make?
Asking "What else?" will help you navigate and negotiate the space between your current reality and the one you desire to create. It will ensure you are both strategic and tactical – at just the right times and in the right way.
For me, one of the ways I am using the "What else?" question is to help me uncover the questions I didn't ask (looking back) or haven't yet (looking forward).
So as you begin to wind down 2014 and welcome 2015, take ten minutes each day to ask "What else?" Ask it when looking at the various dimensions of your money (earn, save, invest, and spend) and dimensions of your life (family&friends, professional, finances, values/spiritual), and how these all intersect.
As I told a journalist who interviewed me recently, sometimes the action you need to take is to ask a question.
Questions help you get out of your head. They help you shift from over-emphasizing knowing-how to understanding "knowing why." Remember, your emotions drive your money decisions. Finally, questions – especially "what" inspired ones – truly are your most powerful tool for getting money to do what you want it to do for you. So…ask 'em and do it often!
Experience Something: Inquiring Minds Discover the Unfamiliar in the Familiar
Perhaps you can relate: You experience something traumatic. It's followed by a strong desire to change something you can control – to offset the change you couldn't. If you've ever experienced this, then you'll understand my deep desire for a little home makeover.
With the help of a dear friend, when I welcomed guests into my home to continue the Thanksgiving tradition of my mother's and mine, my home had a new look – courtesy of a few additional pieces of furniture and accoutrements and some furniture rearranging. With small tweaks, my home was transformed. Toni helped me reconfigure (and re-envision) my space. In the process, she did for me concerning my home what I do for my clients concerning their finances: find the unfamiliar in the familiar.
And I was like a giddy child on Christmas Eve.
A perfect feeling given that the holiday season is now upon us and officially in high-gear.
For you and for me, the childlike wonder of the season doesn't just have to be confined to this time of year. It can be a constant state of mind…a standard way of approaching decisions about your career, life and money.
However, that requires that you intentionally practice curiosity to:
- Answer a pressing or recurring question
- Resolve a conflict you're experiencing
- Address a nagging contradiction of expectations and/or beliefs
- Ease your discomfort
- Close the gap between what you do know and what you don't know
- Discover the gap between what you're seeing and noticing
But, how often do you do that? Can you count the number of times lately when you preceded a decision or action with a statement that began with, "I wonder if…or I wonder what would…"
This sort of inquiry is why most of us use smartphones.
This sort of inquiry is why you can stream music, movies and TV shows in your home and on the go.
This sort of inquiry is why there are financial apps that can help you monitor your spending and manage your wealth in ways unforeseen just five years ago.
Curiosity alters your reality.
If I may be so bold, I'm going to venture to say you're not being curious enough – you're not engaging with life with childlike wonder.
It's not that you don't have an inquiring mind. After all, you were born with it. After all, it's likely what is behind many of your accomplishments. But, I suspect, you're not exercising the power of curiosity as often as you could.
The way I see it, here's the underlying problem: for far too many adults, the obligations of adulthood can make what is innate (curiosity) become a dulled emotion. You're constantly moving from task to task and decision to decision that you rarely pause long enough to take notice of what you're seeing.
As a result, you become satisfied with surface questions, answers, outcomes and justifications.
As a result, you tend to value what you do know more than the surprises of what you don't know.
As a result, your expectations and assumptions don't evolve.
And this happens all because going deeper seems too involved – it requires too much time and effort.
Finding the New in the Same
I have been in my apartment for twenty-two years. So, I am quite familiar with my space. And, quite honestly, I was in a visual rut. Metaphorically, I was not applying the same talent, skills and intellectual vigor when it comes to my work as a financial behaviorist to my living environment. Yet, angling the couch in a different way; switching a painting from my bedroom to the living room; adding a few floor and table-top lamps; and taking more advantage of my 10′ ceilings, to name a few, makes the same look new.
"Curiosity is making the choice to look deeper into everyday things and seeing their true significance."
The end of the year and the holiday season are perfect times to seek and discover the unfamiliar in the familiar.
It'll help you engage with family, friends and colleagues differently – with more openness – during gatherings.
It'll help you take stock of the year that is coming to a close with a little more compassion.
It'll help you look at what's happening with your money with fresh new eyes.
It'll help you plan and prepare for a new year with a bit more energy and excitement.
If you knew there were questions (or themes) and small tweaks that could help you practice curiosity with more intention, would you be interested in learning about them? What if the same will also help you to make better decisions concerning your career, life and money? If yes (!), then join Heidi Johnson and me for the final Financial Intimacy Hour of 2014!
On Wednesday, 10 December at 8pm EST, we're having a conversation about the role of curiosity and its impact on your career, choices and financial success. Click here to learn more and to register.
The Subscription Economy: Is it Causing Money to Slip Through Your Hands?
In preparation for the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday, I purchased an indoor electric turkey fryer! (Quite excited!) I purchased it this weekend from Amazon and got a great deal because of their "Countdown to BlackFriday" sale.
Several times throughout the checkout process, I was "invited" to become an Amazon Prime Member. For a split second, I considered it. But after a quick mental audit of how often I order from Amazon, I couldn't rationalize the $99 annual fee.
The fee made me think of what one client recently said to me:
"I want money to stop slipping through my hands…"
It's a sentiment I hear often; it is what can so easily happen in our subscription-services economy; and it is precisely what spending $99 on Amazon Prime would have felt like for me.
And it was exactly how I was feeling as I mentally reviewed certain other on-going subscription based fees I incur – whether they are charged annually or monthly.
Perhaps the charge is nominal so you rationalize it by saying, "oh, it's only $5.99 a month…"
Or maybe you say, "well, if I use the service once or twice, then the annual subscription has paid for itself…"
Or worse yet, maybe you don't even realize you're paying for a product/service each month. This happened to a friend of mine; she finished her doctoral thesis six years ago yet she recently realized she was still paying for subscriptions related to her research work that is now complete. To the tune of 320 Euro a year or $400 a year…for six years!!! You do the math.
Subscription services – the "new" new way to consume and buy
Subscription services aka the subscription economy isn't new. Magazines have been doing it for decades. But today, this model is popping up in all sorts of industries. Including personal finance! Case in point: LearnVest, or a little closer to home…the Financial Intimacy Lounge – a not so subtle plug -:).
In fact, John Warrilow, author of the forthcoming book, "The Automatic Customer: Creating a Subscription Business in Any Industry," said at Inc. Magazine's GrowCo conference: "…[subscription businesses] provide the greatest value to both the [business] and the customer."
When I think of value, I think of it as expressed in terms of uniqueness, convenience, variety, simplicity, flexibility, affordability and, well, a changing value system with regards to how consumers behave in almost every aspect of life.
I also think of value as expressed in terms of a continuing relationship.
And just like all on-going relationships, when you get lazy about 'em and don't pay attention to what is and what isn't working, well, you know… Someone is really happy and the other one ends up quite unsatisfied.
Don't be unsatisfied
As we near the end of the year (can you believe it?), now is actually a good time to ask yourself if you are stuck in a recurring payment trap with some of the subscription service/s you use. In other words, is what you are buying and consuming via your subscription giving you the value you want. Or, is it the cause of money slipping through your hands, too?
Maybe the monthly or annual amount isn't "a lot" in the grand scheme of things. But the financial detox exercise I'm about to propose is less about dollars and cents in the absolute sense. Instead, it's about being "conscious and intentional" about what you're choosing to do with your money and whether those funds could be (re)directed to something else that has more value to and for you – whether you measure that based on pleasure or utility.
So here goes:
- Grab your banking and credit card statements for the last three months. If you receive statements electronically, please print them out. (You can always recycle the paper.)
- Review those statements and highlight your recurring expenses. Choose one color for monthly expenses and another for annual ones.
- On a separate sheet of paper (or in a spreadsheet), list the recurring expenses and rank them according to three categories: pleasure; utility; waste of money.
When I did this piece of the exercise, I chose to keep Netflix – even though I don't use it often. It's nominal and I like the "option" of having it. Yet, I chose not to renew my ZipCar membership. I've rented a lot of cars in the last two years – not one of them was a ZipCar!
- In this same spreadsheet, sum up each category…you just might be shocked at what you discover. In addition to evaluating the total financial outlay, look to see if your automatic withdrawals are spread throughout the month. This will help manage your cashflow and ensure you're not lopsided leaning more toward the beginning or end the month.
- Make an assessment of each line item.
Anything you deem to be a waste of money, get rid of immediately. Or, downgrade your plan (if that's an option). Before I sat down to pen this, I did that with a business expense. I'm not quite ready to get rid of the service completely, but I'm also not using all the features of the pro plan, and I've decided to stop spending money based on the "maybe, one-day I will thinking."
- If possible and appropriate, migrate the monthly or annual withdrawals for your recurring expenses to one banking or credit card account for easy tracking.
The beauty of subscription services is that they are really all about YOU. It's about access the way you want, how you want it, and when you want it. Fundamentally, it's about choice – your choice. And, with choice comes control.
You are in control.
Don't abdicate that control by paying recurring fees for products/services you no longer find pleasure in or that have outlived their utility. Because, sadly, some businesses are counting on you to trivialize a "small" dollar amount. Or, for you to be so busy living your life that you completely forget about what you committed to.
If you find money slipping through your hands, at least don't let it be with regards to subscription services.
p.s. I'm so excited to be a guest speaker in Bari Tessler Linden's The Art of Money Symposium on enTheos.com – joining some other cool peeps like Barbara Stanny, Mindy Crary and many others. Check us out here: https://www.entheos.com/The-Art-of-Money
Financial Planning: It's Not Supposed to Mean the Same Thing For Everyone
I read somewhere that if you could achieve your financial goals by simply putting your money away in the bank you wouldn't need a plan.
That's silly to me. That's like saying as long as you have gas in a car you don't need directions to drive to a place you've never been to before.
Yet, this way of thinking represents a common mindset when it comes to managing money and preparing a financial plan. And, in my opinion, it is why so many people don't get as much as they could from their money.
Today is the last day of Financial Planning Week – the 13th Annual one no less! Granted, this factoid may not make your heart stir and go pitter-patter. But, I thought today would be as good a time as any to share what I believe financial planning is really all about. I suspect if more people adopted this perspective, more people would get excited about preparing and editing a financial plan. Imagine that!
Besides b.o.r.i.n.g., what usually comes to mind when you hear or read the words "financial planning?"
In no particular order, I bet you think about some if not all of what's listed below:
- Budgets
- Savings
- Investments
- Your lifestyle
- Your career and current & future earnings
- Insurance
- Retirement
- Children and their education
- Parents and their well-being
- Your own well-being
You may even wonder if and at what point the help of a financial professional makes sense.
I also bet for each of the above bullet-points (and others I may have overlooked), your focus has been on the numbers – the numbers you know and the numbers you forecast. It all comes back to the numbers because the presence or absence of money is what typically drives your decisions.
Financial Planning: The Movie?
But what if instead of looking at financial planning as an exercise in making the numbers work, you thought of financial planning as the telling of a story through a collection of vignettes? Vignettes that when woven together resemble a long-format television series, with many seasons, about your life – the one you have and the one you want.
Not only are you the star of the series, but you also play the role of producer, writer and director. And you become a quadruple threat for the small screen the likes of George Clooney for the big screen. Much more exciting, right?!
You may be rolling your eyes right about now. But hear me out…
There are a number of benefits to viewing financial planning through the lens of making a critically-acclaimed and successful series. To start, you begin to recognize that even if everyone follows the exact same steps (think of all the long- format shows on HBO), the results won't be precisely the same.
Thus, the reason I say financial planning isn't supposed to mean the same thing to everyone.
By thinking "story" over the numbers, you're invited to connect the dots that represent the pieces of your life in a more profound way. The result: You have to bridge the gap between your vision for the future and your present-day reality and consider the tools, resources, and people that will help you close the gap between here and there. That includes:
- Using money as a tool, but not the only tool!
- Remembering that emotions are not black-n-white. And neither are numbers. True, the numbers may be negative or positive, but the "story" behind the numbers is rarely as black-n-white as you might think (or wish).
- Viewing financial planning as less about planning for retirement and more about planning out your entire lifestyle cycle (the on you have, the one you want, and the one that will help you bridge the gap).
- Embracing ambiguity and the practice of scenario planning via story-boarding.
- Using scenario planning to help you identify the likely obstacles you'll encounter and manage the ones you'll actually face.
- Learning to objectively observe your patterns, habits, and anomalies.
- Learning to objectively see the relationship you have with money, and how and where you need to work on it.
- Remembering you never do it alone.
There's a term in the film industry called the "cutting room floor." It pertains to what's been omitted from the final footage. The way I connect this to financial planning is how the results you see reflects a lot of the intangible choices and decisions you've made but others can't "see."
If you're like most people I know and clients (before they became clients), you're really much more interested in being with family and friends; focusing on your career; and enjoying your leisure time and a lot less interested in managing your money and creating a financial plan. As a result, you either don't have a plan or you have a one that was haphazardly put together and may not be current.
However, when you don't have a plan (or a current one), you don't know what you need to do consistently and you don't know when and where you need to evolve in order to achieve your financial goals.
So, in honor of financial planning week, I ask: do you have a viable and or current financial plan? If not, what are you waiting for? And, how might thinking of it as a tool for making a critically-acclaimed and successful long-running series about your life help you get started?
When Things Get Back to The Way They Used to Be
On this beautiful Saturday afternoon, you and your friends may not be lounging about, sipping a cool, refreshing beverage and talking about "identities" and "emotional intelligence" and "financial intimacy." But the truth is every financial and career choice you make is a reflection of how you see yourself and your degree of self-awareness.
So is how you define and experience the American Dream.
If you were with us on Wednesday for the in-person presentation of this month's Financial Intimacy Hour, you know we had a phenomenal time. If you weren't and you're curious about what you missed, click here to grab the replay.
Leading up to the "American Dream? Rethinking Race, Gender and Financial Success," I wrote several posts talking about trends impacting our economic and employment landscapes. Trends that will certainly affect you and your livelihood if they haven't already.
- I shared stats like 4.4 years; 42 million people; $12 trillion; and the "browning" of America. Combined, these data points tell an intriguing story about where we are in our cultural, economic, and employment history.
- I talked about why bridging emotional intelligence and financial intimacy is a must-have if you want to effectively and proactively manage your career and your finances.
What I didn't reveal here as clearly as I did that night was why I felt this conversation was an important one to have – right now.
As you probably know, I am an observer. Noticing patterns that others miss or discount is one of my strengths.
And a pattern that caught my attention can be summed up with these five words, "When things get back to…"
It feels like I'm hearing this sentiment more and more, especially from some clients and prospects who lost a job, significant money, or both as a result of the 2008 crash and the Great Recession that followed. And…they still haven't recovered (or not as completely as they'd hoped.)
Their longing to get back to the way things were is deep. Understandably, yet still unfortunate, the desire to get back to the comfort and safety they once felt is so strong, they are missing the signals that indicate a new reality has formed, a new normal is afoot.
They are stuck in a time warp and not adjusting too well – emotionally, psychically or financially.
As someone shared with me, the aftermath of 2008 felt like a game of "musical chairs and when the music stopped I didn't have a place to sit."
What a perfect metaphor for what so many (perhaps even you?) are experiencing. If you ever played musical chairs, you know it sucks when the music stops, the seats are all gone and there's no room for you in the circle. And this is precisely why I wanted to talk about the American Dream in the context of race, gender and financial success.
I wanted to explore how the above-mentioned trends reflect your identity through the prism of your personal finances and the American Dream. Especially if you feel slightly uprooted.
How do you see yourself; how do you want others to see you; and how does the reality of where you are today relative to where you'd thought you'd be compare? If the mirror is reflecting back anything other than what excites you and has you wishing things were as they used to be, click here to grab the replay of "American Dream? Rethinking Race, Gender and Financial Success."
My conversation with Dr. Atira Charles will not only increase your emotional and financial self-awareness, but you'll also have specifics steps to help you shift from longing for how things were to being excited about what is and can be. And because the principles we share are universal, you'll get something from this even if what has you feeling a bit nostalgic has absolutely nothing to do with money or your career.
Enjoy…and then let me know of a major takeaway!
Estate Planning: What if The Biggest Mistake You're Making Isn't The One You Think?
I'm gearing up for tonight's Financial Intimacy Hour with my guest Lori Anne Douglass, Esq. We're tackling that topic I talked about last week – the one most would prefer to avoid.
I addressed how estate planning isn't just for the rich or just about death, and how it is really an act of love. If you missed that post, click here.
As timing would have it, on the day I published that piece I had dinner with a friend I hadn't seen in awhile. In the process of catching up, I, naturally, invited her to join us tonight. And, she – a single mother, homeowner, and business owner – shared she didn't have a Will.
My reaction: GASP!
Her response: "Why do I need a Will; won't everything automatically go to my son?"
She's not alone in this sentiment. According to a new Rocket Lawyer-Harris survey, 64% of Americans don't have a Will.
But, ironically, not having one isn't really the biggest mistake my friend is making (and many others like her): ONLY having a Will is!
At a minimum, there are three other documents that you need in addition to your Will. This is an oft overlooked misstep.
And so is having an outdated plan.
Depending upon what source you reference, the number of people without an estate plan ranges from 50%-70%. But perhaps you fall in the 30%-50% range of people who actually DO have one. If true…
…is the plan you have the one you want to have?
Both Paul Walker and Philip Seymour Hoffman had estate plans created – in 2001 and 2004, respectively. However, their tragic and untimely deaths put this common estate planning blunder of not having a current plan front-and-center for a number of "costly mistakes" articles.
Above, I've just shared two obvious and not so obvious estate planning mistakes. During my conversation with Lori Anne tonight, we'll flush out a few more. Of course, along with what to do instead and why these actions are important.
Admittedly, I have no clue what in the world "conscious uncoupling" means, but I do understand the need for having a conscious approach to estate planning.
- It's how you organize your personal + financial affairs.
- It's how you address the mistakes you know you're making AND become of aware of the mistakes you don't realize you are.
- It's how we each contribute to the dismantling of the misconception that the estate planning process is only for a certain few or relevant to a narrow set of circumstances.
- It's how you ensure you don't fall prey to the "someday, one-day" mentality that can grip you and lull you into procrastination mode until it's too late to be thoughtful, intentional, and strategic.
- It's how you get to know yourself even more intimately. Estate planning invites you to ask yourself some probing questions and take stock about what and who is most important to you. (See, I told you it was about love – and that includes self-love!)
- It's how you put on your big girl or big boy pants and take the reins to control how you experience life and money – and not just sit on the sidelines "taking" whatever comes your way. I realize you may not take a passive approach in other areas of your life, but for some, money makes them a little gun-shy. If this is you, let's stop this pattern now, shall we?
Thinking of estate planning as an act of love isn't a matter of semantics for me. Nor is looking at it as a testament of self-love. I truly believe this and want others to hop on the bandwagon with me. And that includes YOU!
I am SO excited for tonight, and if you haven't registered I hope you'll accept my invitation to join Lori Anne Douglass, Esq. and me at 8pm EDT for this month's Financial Intimacy Hour.
I promise it'll be a lively experience. And, I promise you'll know more at the end of 60-minutes than you did at the beginning.
Click here to register for this free event.
Estate Planning: It's Not Just for the Rich; It's Not Just About Death; It's About Love & It's for You!
Whew…you read pass the looong headline line!
Estate planning. It's often considered boring, scary, the "thing" to avoid, or just perceived to "not be for me."
So, that you've read this far is a win. And, I'm glad.
Because it's time for us to have "that" delicate conversation, and in the process bust some estate planning myths and make certain you have some important facts.
Diss the myths
Estate planning isn't just for the rich. If you have $2 dollars to rub together, you need an estate plan.
Estate planning isn't just about death. Although that can clearly be what triggers the fulfillment of your wishes. But so can a prolonged illness that leaves you less-able or disabled.
Estate planning is hard.Yes, it isn't emotionally easy. It is uncomfortable, asks you to wrestle with all sorts of fears, and "forces" you to confront mortality, less-ability, and disability – including your own – in ways that often surprise you.
But what I've come to understand and personally embrace is that estate planning is really an act of love.
It's how you have the last word – your way. It's how you express your love to those near and dear. It's how you control what happens to the possessions that are important to you and how you share the money you leave behind – even if it is just $2! It's also how you control the quality of your care if you experience a prolonged illness. Viewed in this light and estate planning becomes a no-brainer.
Know the facts
However, let's face it: estate planning can also be downright confusing!
Heck, I work in financial services and learned things I didn't know I didn't know as my mother and I put together our family's estate plan.
This is one of the many reasons, I'm excited about the focus of April's Financial Intimacy Hour. Register here.
My guest is Lori Anne Douglass, Esq. – partner at Moses & Singer and head of the firm's Trust and Estates group and Matrimonial and Family Practice. I couldn't think of a better person to help us push through the emotional blocks of estate planning and help you and me get our heads out of the proverbial sand, take action and be powerful in a realm that can often render us feeble if caught off-guard or ill-prepared.
Yes, we'll cover the basics and make sure you're prepared with definitions of key terms.
But lest you think this is going to be a "traditional" estate planning conversation – think again.
First, there's Lori Anne's personality. "Boring" is just not a word you'd associate with her. That's just not how she rolls. You'll see But here's a clue: she's working on a book, "How to Raise a Child You Love With a Person You Hate."
Second, we're going to tackle this 21st century style. Meaning: deal with modern-family dynamics of estate planning courtesy of modern-day realities. Like:
- 40.8 percent of children are now born to a single parent;
- Over 50 percent of U.S. households are now headed by a single individual;
- Non-traditional partnerships are increasing in number;
- Marriages involving a non-U.S. citizen are increasing;
- 16.1 percent of U.S. households are now multi-generational, almost as high as in 1940;
- 78 percent of middle-aged adults believe that they'll be responsible for caring for an aging family member.
The above stats are an abbreviated list of factors courtesy of research from the Pew Research Center.
Add to this the Supreme Court's ruling to strike down the Defense of Marriage Act and the fact that estate planning is critical for and affects women more profoundly then men, you see we have the makings for a full-bodied, colorful, and creative conversation about life.
And, more specifically, how to use a tool that can ensure you have the last word (literally and figuratively) – your way.
Join Lori Anne Douglass and me next Wednesday, 30 April at 8pm EDT for this month's Financial Intimacy Hour.
Let us help you push through the unease if that's your issue, or lack of awareness if that's your challenge, and help you address the financial + legal matters that constitute estate planning.
We want to make sure you have what you need to do estate planning right, have peace of mind, and show your love.
With a New Economy Comes a New Financial Reality
Do you know what a chief financial officer (CFO) does? Here's why I ask:
No one – and I do mean no one – has ever said to me, "Jacquette, I want you to teach me how to be a better chief financial officer (CFO)."
Yet, when it comes to your personal finances, being your own CFO is exactly the role you need to assume.
You as CFO is not an option – it's a must!
I don't just say this because I'm a financial geek and I want you to become one, too.
I say it because "you as CFO" is a financial reality that I believe:
- You may be resisting and ignoring – thinking it's a fad or the latest marketing hype by the financial services industry.
- You might misunderstand – thinking the responsibilities of the CFO role are all about crunching numbers.
- You may be minimizing – thinking the need to don your CFO hat is not really necessary. After all, the economy and employment landscape will eventually get back to the way things were pre-2008 (or the Great Recession), right?!
When the job you have isn't the one you want
Do-it-yourself personal finance is nothing new. Truth is, you've been doing some aspects of this ever since the very first time you got an allowance or got paid for your very first job.
However, the new economy, which makes entrepreneurs of us all, calls for a more expanded vision of what do-it-yourself personal finance looks like in terms of the actions you take, decisions you make, and your level of engagement.
- That means being a financial leader in ways you may not have envisioned.
- That means being more proactive and less passive.
- That means looking beyond the numbers and being more curious about the story the numbers are telling.
- That means performing some analysis; doing some forecasting; creating some reports, etc.
- That means having a process to turn information into insight and using said to formulate a strategy.
- That means recognizing that you don't really manage money as much as you manage your choices.
- That means recognizing that money isn't one-dimensional – even though we all tend to talk about it as if it is.
- That means making time to manage your money.
- That means being accountable for your decisions, but not feeling like you need to make them alone.
- That means recognizing that there are few money choices you can make that don't affect all aspects of your life…and vice versa.
- That means embracing a role you didn't expect to have.
CFO of You, Inc.
I know, I know — it sucks when the job you have isn't the one you want. Or, when you feel ill-prepared for the task at hand.
You knew adulthood came with the responsibility of managing your money and your financial choices. But to this degree…hmmm???
Nope. You as CFO is not a fad and it's not marketing hype; it's your new reality.
Just consider the plethora of consumer-based online tools and applications and websites geared toward helping you connect with and leverage your financial power.
Crunching numbers is one aspect of what a chief financial officer does. But so is being creative and anticipating the future you want and the future that might be, along with planning for multiple outcomes.
"Jacquette was able to help me look past the basic dollars and cents, to see the thought patterns that were driving my spending choices. The tailored financial action plan she delivered was realistic and easy to follow, moving me towards my goals." Aduke Thelwell
Would you like to experience results similar to Aduke's? Would you like support managing your CFO role fully and more completely? Become a member of the Financial Intimacy Lounge. The Charter Member rate of $47 a month expires on April 30th.
Helping you don your CFO hat with greater confidence is one of the ways I can help you get more from your money and for your life. Working with you inside the membership is one of the ways I can make your CFO role less overwhelming and a heck of a ot more fun!


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Vote For Wayne and The Flaming Lips for the O Music Awards!
posted by wb - May 24, 2012
The Flaming Lips are up for voting at the O Music Awards for the Digital Genius Award, and Wayne for Most Extreme Fan Outreach. Voting starts now at omusicawards.com/vote and ends on June 27th, when the show airs!
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10 Years (2012)
Critics Consensus: A sweet ensemble comedy about a high school reunion, 10 Years is well cast but unfortunately predictable and short on three dimensional characters.
Critics Consensus: A sweet ensemble comedy about a high school reunion, 10 Years is well cast but unfortunately predictable and short on three dimensional characters.
Movie Info
In this ensemble comedy, 10 Years follows a group of friends on the night of their high school reunion who, a decade later, still haven't quite grown up. Channing Tatum plays Jake, who is deeply in love with his girlfriend (Jenna Dewan-Tatum) and ready to propose-until he runs into his high school flame (Rosario Dawson) for the first time in years. Jake's friend Cully (Chris Pratt) married his cheerleader girlfriend (Ari Graynor), and has been looking forward to the reunion so he can finally … More
- Rating:
- PG-13 (for language, alcohol abuse, some sexual material and drug use)
- Genre:
- Drama , Comedy
- Directed By:
- Jamie Linden
- Written By:
- Jamie Linden
- In Theaters:
- Sep 14, 2012 Limited
- On DVD:
- Dec 18, 2012
- Box Office:
- Runtime:
as Jake
as Jess
as Marty
as A.J.
as Elise
as Cully
as Mary
as Anna
as Reeves
as Sam
as Garrity
as Paul
as Andre
as Suki
as Olivia
as Scotty P
as Peter Jung
as Nick Vanillo
as Gutterball
as Sara
as Pushy Classmate
as Pushy Classmate's Wi...
as Hair Gel Guy
as Taller Geek
as Todd ...
as Todd's Wife
as Cat
as Band Geek
as Frantz
as Amber Lynn
as Amy Lee
as Mona
as Bartender Jerry
as Dancer
as Anna's 6-Year-Old
Related News & Features
10 Years Videos
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LoginCritic Reviews for 10 Years
All Critics (60) | Top Critics (20) | Fresh (33) | Rotten (22) | DVD (3)
It's easy to see how Linden attracted such a star-studded young cast. Most every character has his or her own moment, and many of them deliver lines that stick with you.
To hate 10 Years is like hating the enthusiastic girl who organizes your high school reunion-- can you really be so mean when so much effort was made and a reasonably good time was had by all?
Solid work...by, most notably, Lynn Collins, whose Anna is the most deeply explored character in the film.
The ingredients are there, but not the follow-through: This resolutely niceness-first film just won't stir the pot.
a pleasing mix of belly laughs and gentle sighs. When the plot twists, and the secrets are revealed, what they lack in surprise they almost make up for in a gentle, heartfelt sincerity.
This should be a new rule for filmmakers: If the people you're following aren't as interesting as the real folks you know and love, your movie won't be much to leave home for or come home to.
There is an embarrassment of wealth in the young acting pool participating in this enormous ensemble filled with drama and comedy.
It's about as much fun as spending 100 minutes in a room full of annoying strangers.
[Linden] also makes a wise decision by having his cast drinking and/or drunk throughout the entire movie. The audience would do well to do the same.
Trite, banal and underwhelming.
"10 Years," which should have abandoned its attempted comedy and focused on its somewhat effective drama, unintentionally backfires by proving that a real-life Hollywood couple has less on-screen chemistry than two actors who've practically never met.
10 Years is no Big Chill, but it has just enough warmth to keep it alive.
..the major players all feel real and relatable and the Albuquerque location projects anywhere U.S.A.
Mediocre reunion pic, great cast.
A bracingly un-gimmicky, heartfelt and fresh take on the theme of growing up.
Maybe check back in another decade?
This disjointed reunion dramedy really works in its final act, but that conclusion can't make up for what came before.
A bittersweet ensemble comedy about how much people and circumstances can change while staying quite the same.
A full-blown entertainment of observational humor and relatable poignancy.
Even the most exhausted, hackneyed and innately annoying genre can yield a film of breezy charm and prickly dramatic consequence.
Audience Reviews for 10 Years
Nothing overly funny, or overly charming, or overly anything. Just a nice movie to pass the time...
MoreSuper Reviewer
10 Years was a forgetable film. I didn't hate it though. I actually enjoyed most of it. Some of the story lines were a bit boring. The ones I enjoyed were Jake and Jess, Marty and A.J., then Reeves and Elise's. The rest kinda faded in the background or were just annoying. I didn't attend my high school reunion and probably never will. I really can't remember much of the classes I had, but I remember all the partying, Lol. I guess you could say I wasn't really "there" a lot. So I don't feel the need to go back. Plus I still have the huge group of friends I had then, so if I wanna reminisce I can just call them up Lol.
The movie isn't something you would miss if you didn't see it. Just an average flick with forgetable performances.
Super Reviewer
"10 Years" is a movie that went pretty much straight to DVD, and after watching it I can see why. It's very uneven, kind of a mess, and not sure if it wants to be a comedy or drama, and it doesn't even really make a dramedy. Channing Tatum stars as one of a group of friends who reunite for their 10 year reunion. Some are married with kids, one is ultra successful, one is a big music star, and Tatum's character wants to propose to his girlfriend, but he's not quite over his hs sweetheart. It's pretty formalic, with very predictable outcomes. Some of the cast is good, but most of them just look like they don't want to be there. Tatum looks like he wants to sleep the entire movie, literally. The best thing about the movie is a song sung towards the end. It's a ballad, that is better than 90% of the ballads released today. Good for a one time watch, but this is the weakest of Tatum's films to come out in 2012.
MoreSuper Reviewer
Who Got Fat? Who Didn't Change? Who Got Rich? Who Got Hot?
Very good movie, really enjoyed it! There is no novelty or breakthrough in this film. The story has been told before and we've seen the characters in other movies. In a way 10 Years reminded me of an 80's John Hughes movie. The film really worked thanks to some great performances from the cast and an emotionally gripping script. I was really hooked with some of the stories and the way in which these characters interacted with each other. Despite the ten years that had gone by, these characters still remained the same deep down inside and some needed closure. Definitely worth seeing. I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. It doesn't delve too deep. Its a simple story about a high school reunion but it really nails it.
The night before their high school reunion, a group of friends realize they still haven't quite grown up in some ways.
Super Reviewer
10 Years Quotes
Discussion Forum
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We all know that it's good to express our gratitude. We know that we should write thank you letters or make that phone call when someone sends us something. A quick note thanking the host after a weekend away will always be welcome. But do we always remember to thank God? And why is thankfulness so important? After all, of course we're grateful, aren't we? I'll just briefly clarify the
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What's really dull is The Economist's reporting on this election. The actual campaign, whether at home or abroad, is of secondary importance. It's only a means to an end. Anyone interested in any election campaign in itself, should go out more. On the other hand, the outcome of this election could be, hopefully, really interesting. If Law and Justice win, mainstream media at home and abroad will be up in arms, just like they did when Orban won. But Poland is a bigger country of even greater geopolitical importance. If the current bunch of good-for-nothings win, yes, Economist reporting on Poland might well continue to be dull: an interview with Nick Clegg from a useless conference Cameron couldn't be bothered to attend; the novel title Gazety Wyborcza magnified ten times from a prop in a studio photo of attractive Sylvia Lugowska because from their lefty point of view it's a big no, no, and might "ruin" pretty Sylvia's image (of course not the fact that she's courageous enough to be a PiS candidate) and so on, as if nothing else of importance ever happens over here.
Stories that somehow don't capture the Economist's imagination include the fact that, for instance, the other week someone, a former policeman, set himself on fire outside the Polish council of minister's office in Warsaw. And we know why he did it, to draw the attention of the media. He left a number of letters to Tusk and other government officials: he tried to blow the whistle on a financial scam in the tax office, and was duly sacked, later the bailiffs took all his means to support his wife and children, and out bitter frustration and anger he took this drastic measure to make an important point. One the Economist and other mainstream media choose to ignore.
And at around 3 a.m. on Sunday an unmarked police car in Zielona Góra ran over and killed a speedway fan celebrating his local teams victory. A pitched battle between speedway fans and the police ensued. And that's what the mainstream media have concentrated on, not the fact that what got the fans angry was seeing policemen change the number plates of car that killed their friend. The police claim they were driving 50 kph, the fans reckon it was more like a hundred. But this matter, too, is swept under the carpet, because it's potentially embarrassing to Donald Tusk and his government, and that won't do, because people might start thinking Poland needs Law and Justice. And then the Economist's reporting might have start getting interesting, well, hysterical at least.


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I just found this site and thought I'd pass on some info. If your researching the Laplante name and are stuck on something try. http://www.geocities.com/sauvefamilyhistory/.And also a site at Planete Quebec under Jean Sauve's genealogy. Three lines in the Sauve family tree carried dit Laplante for quite awhile.Some dropped it all together.Some of the lines some folks are looking for in this forum are well documented at these two sites.If anyone would like my help just ask.I've been researching the Sauve line for three years now.There are almost 30 Sauve name variations in North America alone.Mine is one of them. Notify Administrator about this message?
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Airgas Announces Redemption Of 7.125% Senior Subordinated Notes Due 2018
Airgas, Inc. (NYSE: ARG) today announced it has elected to redeem all $215 million of its remaining outstanding 7.125% Senior Subordinated Notes maturing in October 2018. The notes will be redeemed in full on October 2, 2013, at a price of 103.563%.
The Company intends to finance the redemption of the notes with the proceeds of commercial paper issuances. A loss on the early extinguishment of debt of approximately $9 million (approximately $6 million after tax, or approximately $0.08 per diluted share) will be recognized related to the redemption premium and the write-off of unamortized debt issuance costs. The loss will be reflected in the fiscal third quarter ending December 31, 2013.
The Company's previously issued fiscal 2014 earnings per diluted share guidance range reflected the impact on interest expense in the second half of the year from the potential full redemption of the 7.125% notes utilizing proceeds of commercial paper issuances, which carry substantially lower interest rates, and excluded the loss on the early extinguishment of debt, which the Company has historically deemed to be a special charge.
About Airgas, Inc.
Airgas, Inc. (NYSE: ARG), through its subsidiaries, is one of the nation's leading suppliers of industrial, medical and specialty gases, and hardgoods, such as welding equipment and related products. Airgas is a leading U.S. producer of atmospheric gases with 16 air separation plants, a leading producer of carbon dioxide, dry ice, and nitrous oxide, one of the largest U.S. suppliers of safety products, and a leading U.S. supplier of refrigerants, ammonia products, and process chemicals. More than 15,000 employees work in approximately 1,100 locations, including branches, retail stores, gas fill plants, specialty gas labs, production facilities and distribution centers. Airgas also markets its products and services through e-Business, catalog and telesales channels. Its national scale and strong local presence offer a competitive edge to its diversified customer base. For more information, please visit www.airgas.com. This press release contains statements that are forward looking, as that term is defined by the Private Securities Litigation Reform Act of 1995 or by the SEC in its rules, regulations and releases. These statements include, but are not limited to: redeeming the $215 million notes in full on October 2, 2013; the Company's ability to finance the redemption of the notes; and recognizing a loss in the quarter ending December 31, 2013 on the early extinguishment of debt of approximately $9 million (approximately $6 million after tax, or $0.08 per diluted share). Forward-looking statements also include any statement that is not based on historical fact, including statements containing the words "believes," "may," "plans," "will," "could," "should," "estimates," "continues," "anticipates," "intends," "expects," and similar expressions. We intend that such forward-looking statements be subject to the safe harbors created thereby. All forward-looking statements are based on current expectations regarding important risk factors and should not be regarded as a representation by us or any other person that the results expressed therein will be achieved. Airgas assumes no obligation to revise or update any forward-looking statements for any reason, except as required by law. Important factors that could cause actual results to differ materially from those contained in any forward-looking statement include the factors identified in the Company's press release announcing its most recent quarterly earnings, as well as other factors described in the Company's reports, including its March 31, 2013 Form 10-K, subsequent Form 10-Q, and other Forms filed by the Company with the SEC.Check Out Our Best Services for Investors
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Are we in the process of giving up our nuclear addiction, or is this just flimflam from an addict who refuses to go cold turkey?
Issues / Democracy & Governance
Eastern Europe is caught between two implacable forces. Bulgaria, in particular, might find power in its pivotal position.
Intolerance and bigotry lie at the root of Islamophobia -- that and a thousand years of protracted conflict and bloodshed.
It's not just the minaret issue in Switzerland. Or the head scarf issue in France. Anti-Islamic sentiment is growing Europe-wide.
It is doubtful that current tensions between the two countries will lead to a long-term divorce.
Support for nuclear disarmament has spread to the heart of the Atlantic alliance and beyond.
The new Europe needs a grand strategy. It should look to diplomacy.
While Canada opens its doors to Olympians and the world, its own opposition parties are locked out of Parliament.
Peru's Supreme Court has upheld the conviction of former president Alberto Fujimori for crimes against humanity.
The Obama administration is UN-friendly. So why hasn't it made more of a push to bring the United States into compliance with international conventions?