text:
Author has written 3 stories for Harry Potter, and Private Peaceful.
Hello.Feel free to call me whatever you like:Fia,Fifi,Saffo I don't mind.
Lily and Scorpius
James and Lily
Sirius and Mary
Harry and Luna
Ginny and Harry
Ron and Hermione
George and Luna
Lucy and Scorpius
Luna and Draco
Lily Luna
and others
Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts:
1) Seamus Finnigan is not after me lucky charms
2) I will not sing "We're Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.
3) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class
4) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss
5) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda
6) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar
7) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy
8) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month"
9) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals
10) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin quidditch matches
12) When Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Batmoblie, Robin!"
13) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm.
14) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor
15) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental
16) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins or the Patil Twins as "bookends"
17) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.
18) I will not hold my wand in the air before casting spells shouting "I got the power!"
19) Its not necessary for me to yell "Bamf!" everytime I apparate.
20) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls.
21) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.
22) I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand.
23) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.
24) I will not slip Malfoy a Love Potion in his morning goblet of Pumpkin Juice.
25) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort.
26) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.
27) I will not refer to the Accio charm as "the Force".
28) I will not call Dumbledore "Santa Claus" during the Christmas Holidays.
29) I will not put Muggle fairy book in the History section at the library.
30) I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas.
31.)I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "I told you I was hardcore".
32.)House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
33.) Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a
34.)I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Claus.
35.) I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord.
36.)I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snapes private chambers to watch him sing "I Will Survive" in the mirror, as it is disturbing.
37.) I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it.
38.)I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice.
39.) I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro.
40.) I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.
41.)The next time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid.
42.)I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "The Chamber of Secrets".
43.)When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts.
44.)Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either.
45.)A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly.
46.) Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy. "
47.)I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death.
48.). I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.
49.)Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny.
50.)Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that a quill and parchment is sufficient.
51.)Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.
52.)I may not have a private army.
53.) I must not substitute chocolate-flavored laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate.
54.)Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, or otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy.
55.)I am not the wicked witch of the west.
56.) -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either.
57.) I will not melt if water is poured over me.
58.) -Neither will Professor Umbridge.
59.)I shouldn't use Photoshop to create incriminating photos of my house prefects or tutors.
60.)I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose.
61.) I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover.
62.) I will not test my Potions assigments by spiking Snape's drink with them.
63.) - Especially not all of them at once.
64.) I will not try to hock off my old piercings as "priceless Muggle artifacts."
65.) I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos."
66.)Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'.
67.)I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing by the Headmaster, tapping an hourglass and looking at him impatiently. Or, for that matter, Harry Potter.
68.)When being interrogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids you are looking for'.
69.)Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'.
70.)The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smarts and the Junior Death Eaters.
71.)I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.
72.)Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not be improved by the introduction of muggle firearms.
73.)Though they are doubtless more athletic, battle-axes are not acceptable either.
74.)I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts, A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins.
75.)I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes.
76.)I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.
77.)I am not allowed to ask Professor Dumbledore if the size of his beard is 'compensating for something'.
78.)I will not create a betting pool on that Voldemort is Harry Potter's father.
79.)Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka.
80.)Professor Snape's proper given name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing GlimmerMcSparkles.
81.) I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
82.)Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin".
83.)I will not play the Imperial March theme for Professor Snape.
84.). - However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it.
85.)If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: The Voldemort Musical", I will do so under a nom-de-plume.
86.) I will not attempt to recruit the title character to play himself. Even if he looks good in tap shoes.
87.)I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either.
88.)I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Voldemort is actually the second cousin of Sauron.
89.)I am not a 'ninja sent here by Lord Voldemort to destroy Harry Potter' and should stop shouting this at meal times.
90.)It's not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a shirt that says 'All the good looking ones die young' with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it.
91.)I will not yell "Hey look It's Lord Voldemort!" at Hogsmeade
92.)I will not tease Voldemort about the time he needed his pink flowery teddy bear to comfort him when he had that bad bad nightmare about Harry
93.)I will not charm a poster of Britney Spears on Draco's wall
94.) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work."
95.) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot.
96.) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it.
97.) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive.
98.) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast.
99.) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day."
100.) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling.
101.)I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways.
102.) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween.
103.) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously.
104.) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions.
105.) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet.
106.) I am not allowed to begin each Herbology class by singing the theme song to "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes."
107.) I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.
108.) I will not call Professor McGonagall "McGoogles".
109.) I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rocks series during Arithmacy exams.
110.) Dumbledore is not Gandalf, and the Triforce is not hidden in Hogwarts.
111.) There is no such thing as the chamber of Double Secret Probation.
112.) My name is not "the Dark Lord Happy-Pants" I am not allowed to sign my papers as such.
113.) Bringing fortune cookies to divination class does not count for extra credit.
114.) I will not douse Harry Potter's invisibility cloak with lemon juice to see if he will become visible while wearing it and standing by the fire in the common room.
115.) I will not tell first years they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow.
116.) I will not teach the house elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks.
117.) I will not give Gryffindors pixie sticks.
118.) I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot, and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles.
119.) A time turner is not a flux capacitator I should therefore not try to install it in a muggle car.
120.) I shall not refer to DADA professors as canaries in a coal mine.
121.) When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June good vs. evil fight I will not lift my wand skyward and shout "There can only be ONE".
122.) A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or playing drums no matter how bored I become.
123.) It is generally accepted that cats and dragons can not interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the results would be.
124.) 42 is not the answer to every question on the O.W.L.S.
125.) I am allowed to have a cat, rat, toad, or an owl. I am not allowed to have reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha.
126.) No matter how good an Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.
127.) I will not refer to the Defense against the Dark arts professor as Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.
128.) Lucius Malfoy does not have a "pimp cane."
129.) I am not allowed to lock Gryffindors and Slytheriens in a locked room and bet who will come out alive
130.) I am not allowed to tell Hermione Granger and the Ravenclaws that the library is closed indefintely
131.) 42 is not the answer to every question the OWLs
Do not catch yourself on fire…. It kind of hurts.
Don't follow in my footsteps. I tend to run into walls.
Automatic doors make me feel like a Jedi.
I didn't trip. I was just testing gravity. Guess what? It works.
Honesty is the best policy. But insanity is a better defense.
Maturity is knowing when and where to be immature.
Men, chocolate, and coffee are all better rich.
Never think about the mistakes you made. Think about the mistakes you will make.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
Most good judgement comes from experience. Most experience comes from bad judgement.
Youth is a malady of which one becomes cured a little every day. She's turned her life around. She used to be depressed and miserable. Now she's miserable and depressed.
Always laugh when you can. It is cheapest medicine.
Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life.
An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, "So far, so good!"
You can't have everything... where would you put it?
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, and then used against you.
If you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings including this one.
Join The Army: Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.
One of the universal rules of happiness is: always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.
In theory there's no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.
Nothing can confound a wise man more than laughter from a dunce.
3 out of 2 people have problems with fractions.
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door shut.
I dream of a better world where chickens can cross roads without having their motives questioned.
Insanity is hereditary: You can get it from your children.
Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off.
I have a stepladder. It's a very nice stepladder, but it's sad that I never knew my real ladder.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and so much easier to write with.
If you do it you'll regret it, if you don't do it you'll regret it, either way your going to regret it, so you might as well just do it.
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Britains are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
A day without sunshine is like... night.
Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
A stupid man's report of what a clever man says is never accurate because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand.
Judge me all you want, but keep the verdict to yourself.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and plot your revenge.
You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
I'm not insane... I just do what the voices tell me to.
What happens when we get to scared half to death twice?
You know it's gonna be a bad day when you jump out of bed and miss the floor.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
When life gives you lemons... squrt them in people's eyes and run.
When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA to make them SUPER LEMONS!
"I am the girl that hardly goes to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I mostly just sit in a corner and read a book.
I am the girl that people look through when I say something.
I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal.
I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face.
I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone.
I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a while.
I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.
BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with reading, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things.
Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, twilite addict, The Lonely Teenager, AliceDaSpaz, Skittle.Rocke, Silent_Broken_Heart, St. Fang of Boredom, Soccerislife14, Dreaded Fate, Beater1223, Dazzled_Midnight_Melody, sunshinedasies"
Have you Been to A Release Party? No but i want too:(
Ever cried while reading one of the books? Yes especially when Fred died
A Movie? When Dumbledore died and when Dobby died
Books or Movies? Books of course
Had A Dream About Harry Potter? Yes I rode on a Thestral
Been To A Fansite? Obviously
Been to JKR's Site? Yes
Have You Ever Roleplayed? No :(
If So/Do..Who were you/ are you? Havent Roledplayed
Did you use to have an absurd theory? Yes.
What was it? That Fred,Tonks,Remus,Snape e.c.t lived underneath Hogwarts
Did you/Do you hide your obsession? nope. Harry Potter fan and proud of it.
Did it/ Does it work? ...
Ever dressed up like a Character? For Halloween or Just No Reason at all? for Halloween one year i was Hermione and the Ginny anoter.
Ever noticed That You can't "Spell Hermione without Ron"? Yes
Did you just try to prove that wrong? No
Notice That If Harry&Hermione Got Married They'd Have EXACT Same Intials? Yup
Did you just try to prove that wrong? nope
Have you noticed That Lily Evans And Ginny Weasley are alot alike? Yes, I have and its cool but odd...
Do you find it wierd that Harry & His Dad Fell In Love With Girls So Alike? no, They are a lot alike.
Do you know what fanfiction is? uhh obviously, is this a trick question?
Ever Been To A Fanfiction site? yes
Do you read fanfiction? yes
If so, do you like it? Yes
Are you a member of a fanfiction site? yes
What site? Fanfiction.net
Do you write fanfiction? yes there not very good
Do you like to write fanfiction? Yes it gives me meaning, and it keeps the series alive even though the end of the film is nearing.
Ever had Harry Potter Candy? Does Jelly Belly Beans count?
Do you own a lot of Harry Potter Stuff? all the books and films, I have a wand, a thing where when you look inside it has a picture of Hermione and I used to have a shirt until my mum threw it away. I cried for days!
Do you have Harry Potter Scene It? No:(
Do You Have A Harry Potter Shirt? See above
What Character Are You Most Often Compared Too? Luna and Hermione
Do You Agree With This? Um kind of
Do You Have Any Nicknames That Have To Do With Harry Potter? No
What Are They? See above
Do you object to being Called By them? See above
Are Your friends Supportive of your obsession? Yes they LOVE Harry Potter aswell
Do you have any inside jokes that relate to Harry Potter? yes
What's One?(You don't have to explain) : Theres a guy in our year called Harry Potts?
Do you relate a lot of things to Harry Potter? Yuppers
Do you love being obsessed With Harry Potter? can you say yes...
Do you wish that you went to Hogwarts? yes, I still expect to get my hogwarts letter. They are just a little late on mailing it.
Have you re-read the books? yup, to many times to count
Have you had A Harry Potter Themed Party? No:(
Have You Had An RP Party? no
Do You Want To? no not really
Have you ever read a Harry Potter Musical? No , i have seen a very potter musical and sequel I love them!!
Have You Ever Wrote One? no
Do You Want To? no
Have you ever entered A Contest TO Win Something Harry Potter?No I was too late to enter
If You Wrote A Hogwarts Musical Would You Let People Read it ? Yes, the fanfiction.net community
Are You Going To Write One? no
IS The musical Thing Annoying You? yes
Am I more annoying than Rita Skeeter? No
You're a 90's kid if:
You can finish this 'ice ice _'
. . . Furbies
You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
Five Resons Why Bella's an Idiot:
1. She jumped off a cliff and didn't die.
2. She didn't kill Jacob for imprinting on Nessie.
3. What regular person uses the word irrevocably?
4. She can't win an argument with Edward unless its about sex.
5. She's a freaking spaz.
Repost if you agree to at least three statements
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
WHY DO BOYS FALL IN LOVE WITH GIRLS?? aww this is so sweet even though im a girl!! :D
So sweet, please don't break! :)
1. They will always smell good even if it's just shampoo.
2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder.
3. How cute they look when they sleep.
4. The ease in which they fit into our arms .
5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world.
6. How cute they are when they eat.
7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while.
8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside.
9. The way they look good no matter what they wear.
10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful girl on this earth.
11. How cute they are when they argue.
12. The way her hand always finds yours.
13. The way they smile.
14. The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight.
15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later...
16. The way that they kiss after you have had a fight.
17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you".
18. Actually...Just the way they kiss you...
19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry.
20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly.
21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt.
22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt (even though we don't admit it).
23. The way they say "I miss you".
24. The way you miss them.
25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore...
Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, no paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart.
A feeling.
Only felt.
This chain started in 2002.
It is a love chain letter.
In an hour you are supposed to repost this.
Now here comes the fun part.
You then say the name of the person you like or love and then the person will say "I love you," or "Will you go out with me?" NO JOKE!!
The consequences are:
If you break the chain letter, you will have bad luck in future
If you don't break the chain, then you will be a happy camper!!
You have been chosen to participate in the LONGEST and the LUCKIEST chain
With a stoplight, Green means Go, Yellow means Slow, and Red means Stop. But with bananas, it's very different. Yellow means Go, Green means Whoa Slow Down, and Red means Where The Hell Did You Get A Red Banana?!
A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you.
A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
A good friend helps you up when you fall.
A good friend helps you find your prince.
A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
A good friend will offer you a soda.
A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain.
A good friend will help you move.
A good friend will bail you out of jail.
A good friend has never seen you cry.
A good friend asks you to write down your number.
1. When you are sad, I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
Why is abbreviated such a long word?
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
If a cow laughs hard, does milk come out of its nose?
Who was the first person who looked at a cow and say "I think I will squeeze those dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.
Having the love of your life say "we can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.
If everything seems to be going well, you've obviously overlooked something.
Of course I'm talking to myself! Who else can I trust?
Don't mess with me- I've got a stick and I'm not afraid to hit you with it.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
children... you spend 2 years teaching them how to walk and talk, you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.
The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.
I smile because I have no idea what's going on.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
I couldn't fix your brakes so I made your horn louder
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.
If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile
Girls Don't realize these things;
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
But most of all
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm Sorry
I'm sorry
Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'
If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".
On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap".
On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost".
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down".
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".
On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body".
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness".
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".
On a Japanese food processor:"Not to be used for the other use".
On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts".
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".
When she walks away from you mad, follow her
f you can read this message, you are blessed, because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid.
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh?
Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
If you can read that please put it in your profile.
It's funny how 'hello' is always accompanied with 'goodbye'.
It's funny how good memories always make you cry.
It's funny how forever never seems to really last.
It's funny how much you'd lose if you forgot your past.
It's funny how ''friends'' can just leave you when you're down.
It's funny how you need someone they're never around.
It's funny how people forgive, even they can't forget.
It's funny how much one night can contain so much regret.
It's funny how ironic life turns out to be. But the funniest part of all? None of that's is funny to me
Try Not To Cry
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye.
I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest
When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
please listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"
In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech
Please if you would,
If you pass this on,
Maybe people will cry,
Just keep this in your heart,
For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".
Now you have 2 choices,
1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it.
Perfection is a waste of time.
Engineering: 'How will this work?' Science:'Why will this work?' Management: 'When will this work? Liberal Arts:'Do you want fries with that?
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; I'm not sure about the universe.
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
I blame my attitude on videogames
There is stupid coming out of your mouth hole again
God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women.
So many boys, so many reasons to stay alone
I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face
Vampires vs. Werewolves...It's kinda like pirates vs ninjas, but cooler
I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.
Heaven doesnt wan't me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.
When you're down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I'll be willing to lay down right next to you
Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is humans way of saying you can't fire me, I quit
Tired of living and scared of dying
Scared to remember, terrified to forget
I hear your silence loud and clear
Children in frontseats can lead to accidents. Accidents in backseats can lead to children.
Why do today what you could put off till tomorrow?
How can i miss you if you never left?
I'm not with stupid anymore!
Education is important, school however, is another matter.
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more
Don't mess with me I've got a stick.
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends (and boyfriend!)
Boys are like Slinky's, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable
Boys are like skateboards, they can go fast but usually there pretty slow.
Boys are like knives, usefull but they'll cut you eventually. (cough, cough Edward cough, cough)
If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't
I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.
Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls
Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
93 percent of teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person,"What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Lola, Heather, Chris, Delilah, Edward, Diana, Brandon, Ivan, Andrea.Dhrutika,Sunshinedasies
Benefits of being a woman-
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, geez!
Comebacks to crappy pickup lines!-(Hilarious)
Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:
Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you.
Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Man: "Your place or mine?"
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Man: Is this seat empty?
Man: Your place or mine?
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Man: Can I buy you a drink?
Man: How did you get to be so beautiful?
Man: Your face must turn a few heads.
Man: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
Man: I think I could make you very happy.
Man: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
Man: Can I have your name?
Man: Want to see a movie?
Man: I'm God's gift to women
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real friend could blackmail you with it.
A simple friend expects to always be there for them. A real friend expects to always be there for you.
best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen
If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile.(I read the first Harry Potter inan hour, the secound in an hour, third in an hour, fouth in two hours,fith in two hours, sixth in two hours and the seventh in two hours)
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile (thats what I'm doing right now)
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. (thats a given)
If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile.
Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile.
This is Bunny.
Kitty is Bunny's nemesis. Or evil accomplice. Nobody really knows.
Either way, copy and paste Kitty as well, or Bunny will get lonely!
whos cruel idea was it for lisp to have and s in it?
are children who act in 'R' rated films allowed to see them?
If the sky is the limit then what is space, over the limit??
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
Isn't Disneyland just a people trap operated by a mouse?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are crazy?
Why is it when some products you have to turn upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn down?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?
If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?
If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn't we now be seeing people from the future?
If our body temperature is normally 98.6 degrees, how come when it's 98 degrees outside, no one is comfortable?
Why is it the TWELVE days of Christmas when there is only one day of Christmas?
Since a running back runs forward, why is he called a running back?
Why is "number" abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in number?
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?
Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?
If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?
When a boy is named after his dad, he is called 'Junior,' but what do
If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?
If all of the Acme stuff doesn't work, why does Wile Coyote keep buying their products?
364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from
Why is it when we laugh in school the teachers say do you find something funny? When obviously we do?
Why do people call it an ATM machine, but they know it's really saying Automated Teller Machine Machine?
Why do people say PIN number when that truly means Personal Identification Number Number?
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?
I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Death is hereditary.
There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.
An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance?
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?
Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
if you blow in a dogs face he'll get mad at you, but take him for a car ride, and the first thing he does is stick his head out the window!
if two wrongs dont make a right, try three
whoever said nothings's impossible, they never tryed slamming a revoling door!
apparently 1 in 5 people are chinese, there are five people in my familly so it must be one of them. it's ether my mum or dad. or my older brother colin. or my younger brother ho-chan-chu. but i think it's colin.
borrow money from pessimists- they dont expect to get it back!
there are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that cant.
if olive oil comes from olive's then where does baby oil come from?
ifr quitters never win, and winners never quit, how can it be good to 'quit while your ahead?'
whose cruel idea was it for the words 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?
how is it possible to have a civil war?
if a fork were made of gold would it still be called silver ware?
Can you make a candle out of your earwax?
When French people swear do they say pardon my English?
Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
Can a fire truck park in the fire lane?
"Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?
Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?
Are marbles made of marble?
Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?
If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived)
Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?
Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
Can you get cornered in a round room?
Why do we wash behind our ears? Who really looks there?
Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?
If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?
Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?
In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is she?
How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone?
Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?
"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?
Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??
6 Truths of Life
1. You cannot touch all of your teeth with your tongue
2.All idiots after reading this will try it
3. The first truth is a lie.
4.You are now laughing at your own stupidity
5. you will put this on your profile
6. you still have a stupid smile on your face
1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.
4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.
7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.
9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.
12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Darn this!" and walk out triumphantly.
14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)
15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).
16. Comment on how y the instructor is looking that day.
17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.
18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.
19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.
20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.
21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.
22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.
23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.
25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"
26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!
27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin humming the theme to Star Wars.
30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.
31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.
32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."
33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."
35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.
37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.
38. Bring a giant roach into the room and release it on a nearby.
39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.
40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.
42. Dress like the professor.
44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.
45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.
A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike
'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la Casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'
A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves
Whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be
Masculine ('el computador'), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better .
The women won (although in Spanish, it techinchally is La Computadora)
If you ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this to your profile
If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this to your profile
If you have ever copy and pasted something to your profile, copy and paste this to your profile
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile
If you want wings and powers, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile
Recipe for hottness: 98 human + 2 bird + 68 Pyro + 49 chef + 2 Blindness = 219 HOT!! if you know who I'm talking about here and agree copy and paste thiss into your profile.
If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all
If random songs pop into your head for no apparent reason, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile.
The answer to life, the universe, and just about everything: 42 (I haven't even seen that movie... YET.)
How to drink air (not a proven method! Actually, none of my methods are proven!): Freeze it. Or use a straw. Pick one!
If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you are against racism, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE. The only race is humanity.
If you get bored easily post this on your profile.
If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.
If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.
if you keep too many secrets, paste this in your profile
if your female then paste this in your profile
if you don't know what the FN button on your keyboard is/does then paste this in your profile
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.
I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.
The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.
She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."
His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."
"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''
"OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"
Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''
"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
"My mommy loves white roses."
A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.
Was this the family of the little boy?
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.
And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
Now you have 2 choices:
1) Repost this message, or
2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart (It touched mine. So I posted it.)
To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"
5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For
7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.
9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile.
1. Grab the closest book to you, open up to page 81, what does line 14 say?
There across the lawn,was the teak deck where she and Ali
Pretty little liars
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, What can you touch?
The radiator
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The faint noise of cars
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Going into the house
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
9. What are you wearing?
black jeans and jumper
10. Did you dream last night?
11. When did you last laugh?
Two miniets ago
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Plug sockets and my dad's Univeristy of Durahm
13. Seen anything weird lately?
14. What do you think of this quiz?
its ok
15. What is the last film you saw?
Wild Child
16.If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Id pay for the morgage on my parents house
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:
Im left handed.
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
World peace, word hunger,good things for the rainforest, a cure for cancer, the list is endless
19. George Bush:
That american president that everyone know's
20. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
21. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
22. Would you ever consider living abroad?
For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
Im SKINNY so I MUST be Anoexic
HP Test
Weasley? George
Character, Overall? Luna Lovegood
Female Character? Luna Lovegood
Male Charcter?George
Group Of Characters? MARUADERS!!
Adult? Sirius
Professor? Lupin
Ship? Lily/James
Non-Canon Ship? George and Luna
Sweet? Fizzing Wizzbys
Place? Hufflepuff common room
Weasley Twin? George
Product? A wand
Shop? Weasley's Wizard Wheezes!!
Couples? What Do You Think?
Ron/Hermione? Beautiful!
Harry/Hermione? Incest-they're like brother and sister
Harry/Ginny? :D they're cuuuutee!Love them
Harry/Luna? I like it. They can make a good match.She made Harry feel better in book 5 when Sirius died.
Harry/Pansy? Seriously, where does this idea come from? She's a Slytherin !! I don't even think they've even spoken apart from spiteful comments
Ron/Lavender? Its pretty funny, but NO
Ron/Luna? Quite sweet
Ron/Pansy? NO! Its so obscure i'm starting you think whoever wrote this is mentally retarded
Ron/Fleur? No, thats his brother's wife, Ron's not like that!
Hermione/Draco? No
Hermione/FredORGeorge?I like it
James/Lily? LOVE!!
Lily/Snape? One of the most tragic love stories of all time
Lily/Sirius? no, thats his best friend's stalker fetish- he's too loyal to do that, and they make good friends, not pairings.
Lily/Lupin? No! Theyr're great friends, but wouldnt work as a couple :DAnd he belongs to TOnks, while she belongs to Jamie
Tonks/Lupin? They are sooooooo cute!! he's like'i'm no good for you and to old' and she's like'i don't care!!' and they made teddy:D
Draco/Pansy? Nope- i just dont like Pansy, Shes too clingy, and up herself.
Fred/Angelina? NO George and Angelina
Harry/Cho? So incredibly annoying. Cho is clingy, annoying, and jealous. End of
This Or That?
Harry or Ron? Harry
Hermione or Ginny? Hermione
Neville or Seamus? Neville
Snape or Slughorn? Slughorn because he stayed at Hogwarts
Fred Or George? George
Harry/Ginny or Harry/Hermione? Harry/Ginny
Ron/Hermione or Harry/Hermione? Ron/Hermione
Harry/Hermione or Harry/Luna? Harry/Luna, i think they're cute
Ron/Hermione or Ron/Luna? Ron/Hermione
Hermione/Krum or Harry/Hermione? Hermione/Harry
Ron/Lavander or Ron/Hermione? Ron/Hermione
ButterBeer or Fire Whiskey? Butterbeer
Zonko's or Weasley's Wizard Wheezes? Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes
Hog's Head Or The Three Broomsticks? The Three Broomsticks
James/Lily or Snape/Lily? James and Lily
Hogwarts or Hogsmeade? Hogwarts,
Hogsmeade Or Diagon Alley? Hogsmeade
Malfoy Manor or Knockturn Alley? I'll go with Malfoy Manor, because I'm curious to see what an albino peacock actually looks like…
Beartie Bott's or Fizzing Whizbees? Fizzing Whizbees
Witch Weekly Or The Daily Prophet? Witch Weekly
Rita Skeeter or Barty Crouch? Barty
Gyrffindor or Ravenclaw? Gryffindor! Bravery before brains anyday! Now if it was hufflepuff it would be a different story.
Choose 10 of your favorite characters.
2.Lily Luna
10.Hermione. G
1) 4 invites 3 and 8 to dinner at their house. What happens?
Remus invites Sirius and Lucy Weasly to dinner. Lucy and Remus would talk about Teddy and Sirius would anoy them
2) 9 tries to get 5 to go to a yoga class. What happens?
Tonks would go and laugh at Rons failing atempt at Yoga
3) You need to stay at a friend's house for the night. Who do you pick?
4) 2 and 7 are making out. 10 walks in...Their reaction?
well probably take Lily away because Ginny is making out with her own daughter
5) 3 falls in love with 6. 8 is jealous. What happens?
Lucy would yell at sirius for loving her uncle when he is dead!
6) 4 jumps you in a dark alleyway. Who comes to your rescue? 10, 2 or 7?
7 Ginny
7) 1 decides to start a cooking show. 15 minutes later what is happening?
The guest's are in St Mungos because of Gurdyroots and Plimpie Soup
9) 3 has to marry either 8, 4 or 9. Who do they chose?
10) 7 kidnaps 2 and demands something from 5 for 2's release. What is it?
Her son Teddy
11) You get to meet either 1 or 6. Who do you chose?
12) 10 challenges 4 to a chariot race. Why?
Because she wants to beat her teacher at something
13) Everyone gangs up on 3. Why?
Becase everyone thinks he betrayed Lily and James
14) Everyone is invited to 2 and 10 wedding except for 8. How do they react?
Gets annoyed cause she's family
15) Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because of her Bat Bogey Hex
This is so sad and sweet!!
I have the attention span of a goldfi- ooh, shiny!
(please share these quotes. live, laugh, love- peace, love, WORD!)
Gryffindors … will jump off a cliff.
Slytherins … will push someone else off.
Hufflepuffs… will call five hundred others and build a staircase.
Ravenclaws … will get hold of a flying carpet.
Remember there's a light at the end of every tunnel, just make sure its not a train.
The next time someone says "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me " HIT THEM WITH A DICTIONARY!
I'm the girl who will burst out laughing in a dead silent room because of something that happened yesterday!
I didn't fall for you, you tripped me.
Love? I'd rather fall in chocolate.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
For anyone who sat up late into the night because they had to figure out what happened next.
If your profile is ridiculously long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet/foot, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over a pillow, copy this into your profile.
If you think fanfiction.net is the best FanFiction site out there, post this in your profile.
I AM IN SIRIUS DENIAL! SIRIUS IS NOT DEAD! AND I WILL NOT LET YOU SAY OTHERWISE! If you too are in Sirius denial then copy and paste this into your profile. Because Denial is not just a river in Egypt.
If you loved DH, HBP, OotP, GoF, PoA, CoS, and SS/PS, and know what all those initials stand for, copy and paste this on your account.
If you are Harry Potter obsessed, copy this into you profile and add your name: Ga Nat Nat, Evil Older Sister, Frozenfan, The Choco-Holic, Jade Snape-Holloway, psychotic me, LLAMAS WILL RULE THE WORLD, PrettyFanGirl, Cannotstopwriting, jasmineflower27, ArianaRae, Susly, kri444,Sunshinedasies
If you read Deathly Hallows in under a week, copy and paste this,then add your name and how long it took you to read the book, (Cannotstopwriting - 1 day),(jasmineflower27 - 3 days),(ArianaRae - 2 days), (Susly - 1 day) (Lily.and.Alice - 3 hours)(Sunshinedasies-2 hours )
If you're one of the few people who actually reads profiles, copy and paste this into your profile.
If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.
If you cried when Fred Weasley died ((in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)), and not afraid to admit it, copy, paste this on your profile.
If you cried when Dobby died ((in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)), copy and paste this into your profile.
If you want J.K.R. to make a series about the Marauders, copy this into your profile.
If you love Harry Potter, copy this into your profile.
If you liked Snape after Deathy Hallows copy and paste this in your profile.
If you spend a lot of time wishing Hogwarts existed, copy and paste this into your account.
If you cried reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, please copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
Education is important. school however, is another matter.
If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
If random songs just pop into your head at any given moment,copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have ever gotten high on sugar, copy and paste on your profile.
A Harry Potter Survey;
Which book in the series is your favorite?
Half-blood Prince
How long did it take you to read the books?
i dont remeber...
Who introduced you to the books?
My sister
Did you buy them, borrow them, or have them given to you as a gift?
My sister had them so i stole them from her
Which is your personal favorite film?
Cant choose
What's your dream ending to the series?
Who do you like more:
Harry or Ron?
Hermione or Ron
Hermione or Harry?
Harry or Draco?
Harry or Ginny?
Ginny or Luna?
Luna is totally amazing!
Neville or Seamus?
Fred or George?
Snape or Dumbledore?
Voldemort or Bellatrix?
McGonagall or Flitwick?
Peeves or Sir Nicholas?
Draco or Snape?
Lily or James?
Whoa, how can i choose????
Sirius or Remus?
I dunno! I cant choose
Emma Watson or Hermione Granger?
Rupert Grint or Ron Weasley?
Daniel Radcliffe or Harry Potter?
Who's the real hero: Harry or Snape?
Death Eaters or Dumbledores Army?
Dumbledore's Army!
2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle):
3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal):
Orange Horse
4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name):
Frances Fold
5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name):
6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink):
Yellow J2O
7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your mom's maiden name, 3rd letter of you dad's middle name, 1st letter of a sibling's first name, last letter of your mom's middle name):
Oceoaan (i used my mums middle name because my dad doesnt have one)
8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother's middle name):
9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets):
If you think Twilight is getting way to famous, copy and paste this to your profile (OMG its EVERYWHERE!)
If you want fan girls to SHUT UP AND REALIZE EDWARD CULLEN IS NOT REAL AND STOP SCREAMING IN MY EAR, copy and paste this to your profile
Neville: OMG I JUST KILLED FREAKING HARRY POTTER!
Voldemort: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I wanted to do it!! SOBS
'Or I could just throw my crutch up there. I mean, the pearl might fall out! It could WORK!' - Grover, Percy Jackson And The Olympians, The Lightening Thief: The Movie.
Professor Flitwick … does not know where Snow White is.
Professor Snape … has no wish to get in touch with his 'feminine side'.
Professor Lupin … has no need for a flea collar. Ever.
Professor Moody … the best 'teaching' Hoqwarts has seen in a while.
Professor McGonagall … does not take herself too seriously. It is a bad idea to tell her.
Professor Dumbledore … should be referred to as 'Professor', 'Headmaster' or 'Sir', not 'Dude', 'My Leige' or 'Tim the Enchanter'.
Harry Potter … is more Emo than Draco Malfoy.
Draco Malfoy … disagrees.
Hermione Granger … has PMS and a wand.
Ron Weasley … is very afraid.
Luna Lovegood … is perfectly sane, thanks very much.
Ginny Weasley … wants her Hogwarts toilet seat.
Fred Weasley … knows if he and his twin giggle at an idea for more than fifteen seconds, they may assume that it's against the rules and therefore should not carry it out.
George Weasley … knows he and his twin will carry it out and are not remotely sorry.
Lily Evans … swears she is not in love with James Potter.
James Potter … doesn't believe her.
Remus Lupin … would prefer less jokes about 'his time of the month'.
Sirius Black … killed by drapery.
Andromeda Black … is going to marry a muggle – screw the consequences.
Bellatrix Black … is quietly going insane.
Narcissa Black … would like a new hairbrush.
Voldemort … does not think it would be funny if HP were to put on earmuffs and pulled out a mandrake in his presence.
Gryffindors … will jump off a cliff.
Slytherins … will push someone else off.
Hufflepuffs… will call five hundred others and build a staircase.
Ravenclaws … will get hold of a flying carpet.
This has got to be one of the most clever
This has got to be one of the most clever
I, Sunshinedasies, do solemnly swear to review all the fics I read,
If you LOVE to daydream and you can't just help it, COPY AND PASTE THIS ON YOUR PROFILE~!
If you love and you have imagination (which everyone does, if you know it or not) put this on your profile
When someone ask "What's wrong with you?" even if they are joking or not, and you smile and say "Everything", put this on your profile.
98 of teenagers do drugs, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.
Her name was Aurora
Her dad was a drunk
Her only friend
She always talked to it
Until her parents
A bruise on her leg
But she grabs her bear
She sits in the corner
Such a bad life
Then one night
Then her mom suddenly
She thrust the blade
The mom walked out
Police showed up
One officer slowly
It must have been bad
Child abuse, no matter how you define it, is morally wrong and injust. If you are against child abuse, repost this in your profile to stop the sensless and needless death of helpless, defensless little kids. - that was so sad, i almost cried... *sniffle*
I Don't Judge
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
WHETHER IT'S BETWEEN TWO MALES, TWO FEMALES, OR A MALE AND A FEMALE, LOVE IS LOVE!! ...if you agree, put this in your profile.
My name is Sarah
I am three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I cant speak at all
Icant do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All day long.
When I'm awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come home
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll just get
One whipping tonight.
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's bar.
I hear him curse
My name is called
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try to hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
Calls me ugly words,
He says it's my fault
He suffers at work.
He slaps and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And run to the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken,
"I'm sorry!" I scream
But it's now much too late.
His face has been twisted
Into an unimaginable shape.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is =Sarah
I am three,
Tonight my daddy
Murdered me.
Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!
Month one
Month Two
Month Three
Month Four
Month Five
Month Six
Month Seven
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
If you're against abortion, re-post this
23 Ways To Annoy People In An Elevator
1)CRACK open your bag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open,
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when someone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
23) When the lift is going down scream "we're gonna die"
People call me weird and I say thank you, hey, it means that I have personality, and not boring!
To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"
5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana
7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.
9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream'I Won! I Won!'
18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .
Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile.
(BTW: am I the only one wondering what happened to #s 8, 13, and 16?)
(\ _ /)
This is Bunny.
Copy Bunny into your profile to help him on his way to world domination!
You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. Hmm, what would happen if there was a boy, but, for some reason, everyone treated him bad because he was "different"? Oh, story idea!! Must get computer!)
You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')
You talk to your characters inside your head.
Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.
And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.
(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)
"Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown
"When there's a will, I want to be in it." – Unknown
When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up!
Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.
"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."
You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor
It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?
Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers.
Life isn't a garden so stop being a hoe.
If life gives you lemons, throw them back at the jerk who gave 'em to ya and demand chocolate.
Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile
if you think some people must be on suger highs when they write their stories copy and paste this into your profile.
Some people are like a slinky..not really good for anything, but you can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
My favorite word is sarcasm.
Oops, I appear to have fallen on your lips.
My heart is not a playground
I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter.
To a guy love is only a chapter but to a girl its her whole book.
All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
I hate it when people say: "When life give you lemons, make lemonade." Well, you know what, life never gave you water and sugar, so you can only make lemon juice.
"It's always in the last place you look" Well duh, who keeps looking after they found it.
"Life is short" What? Name one thing you do that is longer than life.
"Don't you wish you could have your cake and eat it too?" What is the point of having a cake if you can't eat it?
"Lol(all the time)" If you laugh out loud that much, then you have issues.
The Stupid Test! (put an x next to the one that is you, than in the end, add up all of the x's. if you have 18 or less, than u r not stupid.) p.s. this is not a real test, just something for fun!
() Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking.( I dont use gum)
() Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking.
(x) You have run into a glass/screen door.
( ) You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.
(x) You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks.
(x) You have run into a tree.
(x) It IS possible to lick your elbow
(x) You just tried to lick your elbow.
() You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star have the same rhythm.
(x) You just tried to sing them.
(x) You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.
() You have choked on your own spit.
() You have seen the the Matrix and still don't get it.
(x) You didn't notice that in the last question "the" was spelled twice
(x) You just looked at it.
(x) Your hair is blonde/dirty blonde/has blonde in it.
() People have called you slow.
() You have accidentally caught something on fire
(x) You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes/cheek.
() You have caught yourself drooling.
() You've fallen asleep in class
(x) If someone says "fart" you laugh.
(x) You just laughed.
(x) Sometimes you just stop thinking
(x) You tell a story and forget what you were talking about
() People are often shaking their heads and walking away from you
() You are often told to use your "inside voice".
(x) You use your fingers to do simple math. (
() You have eaten a bug.
(x) You are taking this test when you should be doing something important
(x) You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it
(x) You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand, pocket, head, etc.
() You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don't even when you know it won't happen to you.
(x) You break a lot of things.
() Your friends know not to use big words around you
(x) You sometimes tilt your head when you're confused
(x) You have fallen out of your chair before
(x) When you're lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling


text:
BP Comment Quick Links
|Strength of Schedule Report
May 13, 2003
Under The Knife
Technically Speaking
So much research tonight that I'll just get right into it...
Thanks to Jayson Stark for the mention in his "Rumblings & Grumblings" last week. Congrats to Kevin Goldstein of The Prospect Report who's receiving the Gammons flood. Also, megathanks to new friend of UTK Chris Shannon at Apple. My new iBook is somewhere between Cupertino and Indy and will be in my highly caffeinated paws sometime tomorrow. If you're in the market for a Mac, email me and I'll hook you up with Chris.
Oh yeah, Jonah leaked it a bit today in the BP Premium email, but this week's BPR is going to be amazing. Not only do we have Michael Lewis, author of Moneyball, we have the subject of the book, A's GM Billy Beane. It's a true can't-miss, must-listen edition. For anyone that doubted BPR, this edition should be the end of that discussion.
0 comments have been left for this article.
BP Comment Quick Links
Not a subscriber? Sign up today!

subset: commoncrawl