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Many years ago I would spend a week deciding what to wear. Should I wear this skirt because it was bold and flowing or these jeans because they were tight and hugging – leather or lace, denim or Doc Martens? What stylish, stunning threads would be the right ones in order to illicit the response I wanted? It all depended on my intention – was it to entertain and seduce, defend and demand or gain hope and heal?
Years ago I used to dress according to the role I wanted her to play with me, whether it be best friend, favourite aunt, smart sister, emotionally devoid mother, or secret lover and I would spend an inordinate amount of time getting my clothes and hair just right to illicit as many compliments as possible. When I was more regressed and should have been wearing a onesie to therapy, she would always comment on my hair and I'd forgotten about that until she mentioned how nice my new hairstyle looked recently and the memories came flooding back. In the past she always appeared to have a special weakness for my long blonde hair, one that I used to exploit mercilessly for her attention and approval. I always gave her compliments the more sinister interpretation of a seduction scenario.
Whether a cigar is just a cigar depends if you have a psychoanalytic bent or a cognitive-behavioural one. I finally realised that I had a therapist who prefers to stay in the present moment and lets you know that your hair looks nice today and that her compliments should be met with a simple "thank you." Ever since that time ten years ago I have met similar compliments from other people with a similar response. Much of her firm, common sense therapy has sunk in over the years.
Since I stopped worrying about impressing her and more time asking her to challenge my belief systems, we spend a greater proportion of the time in authentic therapeutic connection. Our conversation has become real and genuine, warm and vulnerable – on both sides. It is what happens on the inside with therapy not what you wear on the outside. The intimate connection happens when you let that hard shell soften because the therapist wants to connect with your inner beauty and not your fashion sense. Clothes can be the barrier you unconsciously choose to protect yourself from hurt and harm when sharing your dark and dangerous past.
Even Freud in his quest for answers to turning neurotic misery into everyday unhappiness failed to realise that what we wear matters and can be an implicit coping/defence mechanism, along with splitting, projection and regression. Do we wear low cut lacy tops to seduce our therapists because we are afraid to let them see the raw viscera of our broken hearts, the naked, vulnerable self that was once so badly damaged? What lies beneath the surface of what Victoria's Secret covers up is far more important to the curious inquiring therapist.
I do however, notice everything my therapist wears, which is usually baggy, shapeless, black and flowing garments with long strands of pearls, mismatching rings and bracelets. It has always puzzled me because from the back she appears to have a dynamite figure, pretty much the same one she would have had at 18, so she is not covering up issues and secrets between rolls of fat. She eats well and exercises regularly, yet chooses not to show her svelte figure (stunning for her sixth decade) off during business hours. Does she do this so her clients do not know who she is really is, so that they have more of a chance to express who they are? This dramatic attire appears to be de rigueur for the elderly, aging middle-class, wise-witch old-crone therapists who are finally comfortable with who they are. Black is her favourite colour. I sit on a long black couch surrounded by a seething tsunami of black scatter cushions, but her therapy is many shades of cool, calm and collected grey.
In summer off comes the shoes and she sits cross legged in the chair, and so do I. Our mirroring body language connects us at a more intimate level which occurs when I am not fixated on how attractive and pretty I need to appear in front of her. It's easier to cry when you are not worrying about whether your mascara will run. Cortisol and adrenaline levels rise during therapy so scratching my forehead and cheeks is easier without fear of spoiling my foundation. I constantly play with my hair scrunching my fingers through it, pulling the strands from side to side in order to emphasise a point or to elicit the same hair-pulling and lock-playing transference from her – which ALWAYS happens.
No matter how we wear our hair or dress to impress there is always that ultimate defining moment in the therapy hour where we unwittingly, accidentally expose our deeply protected secrets and realise we are not wearing Gucci or Prada but The Emperor's New Clothes rendering us raw, naked and vulnerable – and that is where the real therapy begins.
Picture: http://www.halloweenplayground.com/images/legavenue/vampire-seductress-costume.jpg]]>
After fifty years of eating disorders, lap bands, a small bowel obstruction, kidney cancer, malnutrition, metabolic syndrome and diabetes type 2, I was further diagnosed with a lump on my ovaries in August 2012. So I went to see my disease-free, de-toxed, slim, fit, healthy, yoga-inspired, meditative, free-range, organic, body-centred clinical psychologist who advised to me to do what she had been advising me to do for the past 17 years. Look after myself, be kind to myself, be gentle with myself and start to eat and exercise accordingly. What would you know about life? I thought, as I threw my last sugar binge in her outdoor bin before taking off on holiday with my husband.
Bali for me is usually one long, eating/drinking self-indulgent binge punctuated with cheap shopping sprees in and around Kuta – buying clothes I never wear and items I would sneer at back in Australia. This time we stayed at Lovina Beach and Ubud and I made the epiphanous decision to eat organic vegetarian, drink detox blends and spend as much time as possible being mindful at the Yoga Barn. I also relished the idea of torturing myself by hiking 500m almost vertically down (and back up again) to see the spectacular Munduk falls, as well as trekking through the Balinese National Park before embarking on a canoe trip across a mountain lake. Apparently I had not punished myself enough because later on we walked 5km through stunningly green rice paddies under the blazing Balinese sun to digitally capture some fluorescent-blue Papillon butterflies, blood-red mayflies, friendly but boringly beige frogs and the many indigenous birds whose fleetingly quick movements made me feel as though they were suffering from some form of avian ADHD.
I bought no commercial goods in Bali but came home with a replenished body, a renewed spirituality, a rediscovered soul and a magnificent collection of nature photos David Attenborough would be proud to own. Our Ubud accommodation overlooked 180 degrees of rice paddy fields where I captured this image of a Java Pond Heron who had just caught a huge, hapless frog in its mouth. There was much spiritual meaning in this photo for me. Some days we are the heron and other days we are the frog.
I had come back from Bali with much less internal baggage than I had taken because, still detoxing and exercising a month later, it was discovered my ovarian lump had disappeared. As well, much mindfulness, meditation and mung-beans had smoothed and refined the sharp horns of the Borderline bull and were now gently but firmly nudging me along the right path rather than endlessly stabbing with furious intent along the wrong one. That was a clear defining sign from the Universe that I had been given a second chance at life.
I fully believe in the mind/brain/body connection. I believe that what we put into our bodies affects our feelings, and this affects how we process our thoughts and all are intimately linked and entwined to our particular behaviour and make us who we are. Clean living equals clean thoughts or at least the ability to process them in a different more thoughtful, reflective and uncluttered manner. I learned to separate me from the rest of the world. I learned that I still have the same old problems after I have eaten, drunk, drugged or smoked in my futile attempts to smother the enduring shame of unspeakable, unbearable pain of existing in a world that constantly misunderstood me. Those days I was definitely the frog.
I started to use the words self-responsibility and empowerment and learned to apply them to my life. When I pried into her personal life, my therapist gently pointed out that she was very angry with me without raising her voice. This was an entirely new experience for me; I was far more used to a violent vocal reaction which effectively suppressed all forms of further communication on the matter. So I punished her with fifteen minutes of the best silent treatment I could dish out all the while fantasising about Revenge by Suicide. To me what I had done was not that bad (I thought she was being far too touchy and sensitive) but because my normal behaviour is another person's abnormal, I needed to learn what sort of behaviour was socially acceptable to others so I could "fit in" – whatever that meant.
So as well as eating properly and exercising regularly, I was now learning how to regulate my emotions and tolerate distress without self-destructing and threatening suicide. I was to learn that lesson over and over and over again before it sunk in. I pushed my trusted therapist to the razor-edged abyss of her genteel anger where she saw perhaps abandoning me was the only way to reduce her own considerable stress tolerance levels. However, years ago she had made a promise never to abandon me, even though I made every attempt I could to make her throw me out of her professional life. I wanted to turn her life-long promise into my self-fulfilling prophesy. Her compassionate loving/kindness was driving me insane.
There must be easier ways to earn a living than being a DBT therapist. Not that she is one. I was assigned to her 17 years previously in a public mental health facility and I followed her into private practice. I used to think she was an Ice Queen, a Frigid Wicked Witch of the World of Therapy and paradoxically (because we Borderlines LOVE contradiction) fell deeply in transference with her. There is also an authentic bond between us that is part nostalgia, part business transaction, part mentorship, part symbiosis and mostly mother/daughter role-playing. Slowly I am starting to see her point of view. This can only happen with all-encompassing trust, respect and honour.
Being Borderline means that my logical, rational cortex goes off-line under severe stress and my immature, unplugged, raw and naked amygdala takes over like a black, seething, swirling vortex where the perfect storm of rage, paranoia and suicide-ideation collide. When my therapist went on holiday or away for the weekend, I learned to send her a polite email telling her to have a wonderful relaxing time instead of decompensating, booking into the nearest psychiatric facility and threatening to self-destruct. Those were the days I firmly embraced the heron.
I once had an adverse life event, picked up my 17 year old son from school, went to the local shops and had a road rage incident of such epic proportions I was prepared to die in a blaze of glory rather than move my car and let the other person pass. It was survival of the fittest and surrender was not an option. Charles Darwin might have applauded my efforts at self-preservation but everyone else involved was appalled.
That was the way I had lived my life – eat or be eaten. I'd lost my husband's family, many employment opportunities and plenty of friends along the way. But I consoled myself thinking it was everyone else's fault and nothing whatsoever to do with my repeated behavioural patterns.
My psychologist and I worked on many issues and it was her tough loving/kindness on a harsh family experience that finally permeated and infused my essential being. It was this feeling that shifted and cracked the Teutonic plate of self-hatred inside of me, something that was toxic, concrete, rigid, inflexible and unmoving and from the shattered remains arose an expanding, ethereal and cloud-like softness that had the feeling of self-love, self-forgiveness and self-acceptance. I had never felt more vulnerable, exhausted, uplifted and transformed all at the same time. It was a harrowing experience not unlike passing through the fires of hell and experiencing rebirth on the other side.
Peeling off the placental shawl and cutting through my own umbilical cord that had attached my whiny-self to my long-suffering therapist, I noticed that my old destructive addictions had given way to new, rich oxygenated life-giving ones. I am now addicted to good wholesome food, great health and much well-being. My husband and I like getting up at 5am and going for long walks in the bush, jogging at the gym, walking on the beach, and hiking up mountains. We dusted off our bikes and permanently traumatised our two teenage boys by purchasing matching bike-lycra and think nothing of riding 40km before breakfast. I now have stable employment and good relationships. I have lost 30kgs in six months and gained new vitality of body, mind and spirit.
I embrace Buddhism and being rather than destructive thinking and doing. I have learned to relax and live and let live. Suffering is not as inevitable as the Buddha made out. One can choose to suffer or one can embrace an imperfect world, let go of what is not necessary, and in the wise words of my sometimes devalued/mostly idealised therapist, "Take the bull by the horns and rejoin the rest of the world."
Picture: Sonia Neale Bali 2012]]>
In Western Australia, we have no non-clinical psychologist run Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) services for BPD sufferers. We do have three teams in the metropolitan area of Perth run by fantastic, dedicated clinical psychologists who are the only MH professionals able to deliver this service. This is not nearly enough though. Only a small percentage of people can get help in this public sector which means they don't have to pay. Medicare-refunded therapy (mostly with a considerable gap payment) is six sessions per year, an extra four if there are exceptional circumstances. Seeing as many people with BPD are on disability pensions, unemployed or under-employed, self-payment is not an option.
The new Clinical Practice Guidelines for the Management of People with BPD by the National Health and Medical Research Council states that "Health professionals at all levels of the healthcare system and within each type of health service, including general practices and emergency departments, should recognise that BPD treatment is a legitimate use of healthcare services. Having BPD should never be used as a reason to refuse health care to a person."
It is great that this is finally recognised but the reality is that long term clinical and non-clinical treatment options are simply not widely available in Western Australia. Through my role as a peer support worker I am hoping to start up a non-clinical self-help support and friendship group under the existing umbrella of government and non-government services. My long-term vision is to be trained and train others in DBT skills to set up other groups all over the Perth metropolitan and even rural areas. I have the backing of my team leader and manager of the organisation I work for.
My recovery from BPD has been a profound experience. I want to pass on that recovery process to the participants of the programme I work in and others who would otherwise be not able to access services. The group I am proposing to develop will be based on Dialectical Behaviour Therapy skills and strategies as well as individual strengths and goals.
In the two hour, once weekly group (consisting of six attendees and two facilitators consisting of one peer support worker and one professional) there will be an educational informational half and a caring and sharing half. It will be probably be obligatory for all attendees to have some previous DBT exposure mainly for risk management reasons. There will also be house rules and group norms and sharing guidelines and this will serve as an adjunct to clinical BPD services.
I am very excited about this and have the enthusiasm, support and help of like-minded others. So here is what I am asking you.
What would you like and not like to see in a self-help friendship group for people with BPD?
What BPD services are available or not available in your area, no matter what part of the world?
Were these services enough or not enough for you?
picture: http://www.freshwinds.org.uk/programmes/supporting-people/]]>
Is Google-stalking your therapist morally wrong, a self defeating masochistic exercise in futility, considered Borderline Personality Disordered behaviour or worse, or downright creepy, dangerous and illegal; or is it healthy curiosity and something everyone does but would not admit to – or perhaps all of the above?
I have received emails from my blog readers and heard personal anecdotes from people who have Facebook and Google-stalked their therapists and I have heard of therapists who have terminated clients once they found out the client had typed their name into the internet.
The golden rule is that you never put anything up on the internet you would not want your grandmother to read or the world to see on the front page of the daily newspaper. Google your own name every few weeks to see what other people have said about you and if it is derogatory either ask them to take it down or if they won't then there are legal avenues you can take. I had to caution a friend's daughter who had written some slanderous content about my motherhood skills on a parenting forum where someone had reviewed one of my books.
This is the internet age, the age of information sharing so expect to be Googled especially if you are a mental health professional. But while I might want to find out your professional history, qualifications, cost, location and perhaps some testimonials, there are self-imposing strict personal boundaries around this. If I start to type your children's name into Facebook to find out personal information or to see family snaps of you then perhaps my curiosity belongs in a different dimension and I need to address the reasons why I want to seek this information out.
This sort of behaviour, like drugs, alcohol, smoking and food, can become very addictive very quickly. When you find out new information there can be a dopamine rush to the brain which acts as a reward and creates a deep neural pathway which leads to more of the same behaviour. Or it can work the other way and the information can be so distressing it can lead to self-harming behaviour. This is serious and non-judgemental, empathic and compassionate help is much needed.
I also believe, for the mental health professional, terminating the Google-stalking client is also about safety, security and risk management. I believe most therapists would want to find out the reasons why their client finds someone else's life more fascinating than their own, but management can see things differently. Questions to ask is what is it that is lacking in their life that they want to spend inordinate amounts of time in a dark room in front of a pixellated screen in order find proof of life of someone else's happy existence? Perhaps it could be a golden opportunity to address the lack of substance in the client's life and boost and enhance their daily activity to a level where Google stalking no longer seems an attractive proposition.
However, as a therapist this can be very disconcerting at least and downright scary at worst. But if you do find out about this, would you be curious and ask the client what this meant for her/him or would you automatically terminate the client out of a sense of compromised personal safety? Also are you sure your personal safety is actually compromised? Does it depend on the functioning and insight level of the particular client? Would you allow this behaviour in some clients and not in others?
I am a Google-stalker and I have been Google-stalked. As an author who has appeared regularly on radio and in print and once on TV I have had people I work with tell me I have written two books, or been on radio or even that I write a blog for Psych Central. That is not creepy for me; I enjoy hearing that and feel as though what I do is appreciated and loved.
So at what point for some does this change from acceptable to downright creepy? Pre the internet age no-one would come up to you at a party and say they did a Dun and Bradstreet on you? Yet people tell me they Googled my name. I have Googled my therapist over the years. She knows about this and we have discussed it. Anyone with transference issues is highly curious of how someone else lives, especially if you have that someone else up on a pedestal. I was always open with her and let her know what I had found. We discussed my need to do this until I got to the point where my own life was more interesting than hers. Had she not addressed my behaviour in that manner and terminated me I would not be in the good place I am now. I also learned in the process that she also was curious about other people's lives.
It is very much context dependent. It is all about culture, existing zeitgeist and what is considered socially acceptable behaviour for the changing times. If you are a therapist and you have an open Facebook with 1097 "friends" and you post controversial opinions and update your status three times a day (yes there are therapists who do that) then you should accept that your clientele are going to be curious about the rest of your life. Or perhaps you are so private that your Facebook is on total lockdown and even your own mother could not find you. In other words you need to manage your Googleness and check on it regularly.
I have been in the public eye in the past and I now work in mental health and I have met many people who do not meet social norms in terms of acceptable behaviour (not all of them are clients or patients some belong to other organisations) but rarely do I feel scared or threatened or feel my security and privacy compromised.
It has been said also, in jest, that you have not made it in Hollywood unless you have a stalker (see Kevin Bacon episode of Will and Grace). Some therapists might be terrified that they are not being Google-stalked. Others might be upset that they are not even considered Googleworthy.
Curiosity did not kill the cat, curiosity made it most inquisitive about its own nine lives. Unlike felines, you only have one life so make the most of it.
Photos: Sonia Neale – Ubud, Bali 2012]]>
So, let's get to the bottom of this once and for all. If it is OK for therapeutic couples to hug, then here are some types of therapy room hugs that might be considered appropriate:
The Stealth Hug: This happened for me about eight years ago. I saw her in the corridor wearing a green jumper and a black pleated skirt and I made a snap decision, so when I got into the room, I launched myself at her. She was quite startled, but put her arms around me and hugged. That, by the way, is the only correct response when a client stealth hugs a therapist. Had she refused, my mortification factor would have been stratospheric and I would have had to leave immediately – never to come back again. When a therapist refuses a client's stealth hug it can make the client feel contaminated at best and the embodiment of evil at worst.
The Lonely Hug: Touching someone is a very intimate gesture. It provides warmth and creates a surge of oxytocin, the attachment/love hormone. Lonely people are sometimes oxytocin/dopamine depleted and need lots of hugs rather than mind-altering medication doled out by dull, bored and indifferent psychiatrists. Lonely people are the ones you find in long-term therapy. Lonely people are lonely because they either have no friends or their relationships have soured over the years. Sometimes a hug from their therapist can save their life.
The Therapist Initiated Hug: This has happened a few times and I really feel good about this one. I feel validated and affirmed and for me it means I have achieved what I set out to achieve in therapy and this is kind of like a reward for good work done. There's nothing like realizing your therapist thinks you are OK in a normal, non-stalker sense.
The Bear Hug: Sometimes I get so emotional when I hug people (not just my therapist) I can get a bit carried away and end up crushing the hug recipient. I am always mindful of this in therapy. It is generally considered good manners not to crush your therapist into a small ball.
The A-Frame Hug: This is a great one because you get all the intimacy without any genital contact. It is always a good idea to keep your hands above waist level as well.
The Cheek Hug: This happened once after a very emotional session. It was interesting to note that her cheek was as cool as her handshake had been a few weeks earlier. The coolness was incongruent with the hot emotional therapeutic tension hanging in the room. I recall once thinking she was an Ice Queen. However, her mannerisms are very warm and inviting.
The Epic Fail Hug: I once went to hug my therapist and stepped on her foot with my black boot. That was four years ago and I have only just stopped blushing. The other epic fail was when my handbag slipped off my shoulder and crashed into her hip. We've also done the head "dosey doe" dance as well. Do you hug to the left or the right? Does the left hand go around the shoulder and the other hand hover above the waist? It gets a bit complicated.
The Short Hug: This is a kind of pat-pat hug and a really good hug to have at the end of therapy. Short, sweet and simple with no lingering aftertaste regarding transference issues. It is in essence a non-hug.
The Long Hug: Sometimes you just want to stay there forever; however even I know that is not appropriate (my therapist's favourite word). It just feels warm, soft, soothing, inviting and suspended in time. People with abandonment/rejection/attachment issues tend to sink into this sort of hug and want to merge into the body of the therapist. This is good and needs to be verbally explored. A good therapist will provide both cognitive and behavioural experiences regarding the meaning of the hug for the client (and the therapist as well).
The Kiss: Never a good idea, this is crossing boundaries in a huge, damaging way.
The Sexual Hug: What Robin Williams said!
Hug photo available from Shutterstock]]>
Sometimes, I catch myself having fierce arguments in my head with people I have never met, about situations that have not happened, followed by resolutions that are never satisfying. My headspace is cranky and irritable and there is no logical preceding incident; it is just where my head automatically ends up when let off the leash and wanders free range. I call this IBS – Irritable Borderline Syndrome.
Now, when I catch myself doing this, I redirect my thoughts into something else. I discovered I was doing this on the 45-minute journey to and from work. Without external noise distraction (my radio/CD broke) and only my thoughts to keep me company on the stop/start traffic jam journey to and from work, I was mentally irritable from plotting evil thoughts, arguing with my inner self and ruminating long before I reached my destination. My armpits and skin would itch with stress induced hormones and my bowels and intestines would cramp into knots.
My therapist once told me that traffic jams and traffic lights were wonderful opportunities to un-cramp, de-itch and meditate into a peaceful state of mind, because you literally have nothing else to do, so use that head-space wisely. Instead of picking fights with people who don't exist (I can argue with a lamppost sometimes) I now redirect (with much effort sometimes) those thoughts to something pleasant.
Towards my destination, I drive through semi-rural country and there are many horses, sheep, cows, ducks and geese on the side of the road to keep me company.
Like my daily routine, my mind needs much structure and focus. Arguing with myself is counter-productive to where I want to be. I want to move to infinity and beyond. I want to think of ideas. I read recently that small minds think about people, average minds think about events and great minds think about ideas. So I now keep a notebook in my bag for any great, world-transforming ideas that might spring to mind when traffic starts to bottleneck in front of me.
Conflict resolution is necessary for the function and progress of the human race and internal conflict resolution is imperative if I am to arrive at my destination free from mental cramps and diarrhea. Part of the BPD syndrome involves living in the past, being unable to get past previous situations and having a different perspective from others about the same events. If direct focus on personal events is too scary, then I can fabricate alternative scenarios which have a distinct revenge theme.
But instead of rocketing down that rabbit-hole every time a car stops in front of me, I try to practice mindfulness and meditation and think about happy or neutral present-day issues without judgement or harshness. This involves practice because redirecting anger into constructive thoughts processes did not happen overnight with me.
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, or as I like to call it, Diabolical Behaviour Therapy involves much mindfulness, interpersonal effectiveness (including with yourself), emotional regulation (keeping those mind demons at bay) and distress tolerance. Tolerating the distress of being in your own thoughts at traffic lights can be quite liberating.
I could have gone out and bought a new car radio/CD but I would have missed this golden opportunity for personal growth. The first few months were agony and I missed my favourite radio stations. I had it on my list of things to do, but never got around to it. Then I slowly and gradually started to enjoy the peace, learning to live in the unregulated air space that was my twisted and tortured mind.
Then I started to greatly look forward to the nothingness, the blankness that I could fill with wonderful new ideas.
This became my personal time to save the world from itself, free the Universe from mental illness, self-sabotage and self-destruction, but most of all, it was my time to chill out, to decelerate my racing brain, keep it in neutral, humming and clicking over, and even staying completely idle in a fast, tumultuous, ever changing world. It is good not to be continuously plugged into white noise, loud-mouthed shock jocks, talk back drama and national opinions just so you don't have to think.
Staying unplugged and mindful can take you on a well-worn car journey to a destination you have never been to before because you didn't know it existed.
Photos: Sonia Neale 2012]]>
Borderline Personality Disorder is not just about mental illness and emotional distress, it is also about social skills (or lack of them), empathy, manners, conflict resolution and self-care. Most children learn these vital social skills early on at pre and primary school where they observe other children's behaviour, learn a "theory of mind" or how other children think and feel (mentalising) and experience compassion and empathy for others. These things come naturally to them.
But some children, through no fault of their own, are unable to learn and remain totally clueless about how to survive socially in the playground. These are the kids who suffer social neglect, rejection and abandonment. These are the children who need a step by step guide or a "recipe" on how to learn empathy, how to be a team player, how to get on with other children, negotiation skills, conflict resolution, the rough and tumble of give and take and sharing toys with grace and dignity.
These kids need to learn that when this happens, this is the correct response. I was not one of those naturally cluey children; I lived in social Siberia most of my school life and became a library refugee.
Here are five survival techniques desperately needed when suffering from BPD:
Some people with mental illness lack manners and social skills, and this is not their fault. While I have no personal evidence to back this up, I know that when you are barely surviving the environment, it is near impossible to pick up on social cues from other children that you are not conforming or cooperating and that your behaviour is socially unacceptable.
When this carries on into adulthood it means job losses, social exclusion, lack of friends and relationship difficulties. However, having a mental illness and having non-acceptable social skills are two different things. I have seen many badly behaved people not taking responsibility for their actions, blaming everyone but themselves, simply because they lack manners, dignity and basic social skills.
It is never too late to learn, it is never too late to be aware of your own role in your mood swings and emotional distress.
There is much internet anecdotal evidence which correlates Borderline Personality Disorder with Asperger's Spectrum Disorder. People with Autism (high functioning in the case of Asperger's Spectrum Disorder) have a distinct lack of empathy and mentalisation ability due to their neural wiring. But empathy along with social skills can be taught recipe-style by a competent therapist.
If there is a BPD/Asperger's Spectrum Disorder correlation then the lack of empathy Professor Simon Baron Cohen states is part of the BPD syndrome may instead be due to the Asperger's factor. I would appreciate anyone reading this to enlighten me further with a scientific evidence based journal paper (if one exists).
Even people with BPD know how to say please and thank you. But in times of crisis and distress, manners can easily get forgotten. I know, I've displayed appalling manners when cognitively/emotionally challenged. Part of the process of getting well is remembering manners.
Even if you have to carry a sheet of paper around with correct responses to various social situations — and I have done this — then it is worth it. Once I learned to remember my manners and took responsibility for my lack of them at times, I started to get on with people, reduce my mental distress, avoid much conflict and start to feel like a regular member of the human race.
Two words in the English language that can avert national disasters, world wars, nuclear holocausts, unemployment, divorce and ripped up relationships, and they are "I'm sorry." You could, if you wanted, add, "I made a mistake." How empowering, how liberating those words are. Saying this means you are responsible, you have taken ownership of your words and actions. Then look at yourself and think, "Aha! That's where I went wrong, next time I will do it differently."
Also, use statements like: I feel…when you…because it makes me feel… According to Norman Cousins, wisdom consists of the anticipation of consequences.
When I get something right, like an apology or taking responsibility for something that didn't go well, I reward myself with flowers, an ornament, a book or something to remind myself I got it right, helped someone, said something, avoided saying something, or added value to the office harmony.
Being a person with a BPD diagnosis, I gave up smoking and drinking, starting eating well and exercising regularly (80 percent of the time). I cannot stress enough that there is a poisonous connection between drugs, alcohol, smoking, eating unhealthy foods and mental irritability. The best gifts you can give yourself if you have a BPD diagnosis also includes routine, regular sleep and tuning into your sixth sense about how you feel internally. HALT if you feel that gut feeling. Are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired? HALT and sort yourself out. Sit down for five minutes and evaluate your inner self.
Social skills and mental illness are separate entities. Don't blame yourself or beat yourself up on either count; learn what manners and social skills are. Become your own expert on yourself and watch yourself grow and mature emotionally.
I work in mental health and I have seen this and experienced it. It is a thing of beauty to behold.
Photo: Black Swan and Ducks – Sonia Neale 2011]]>
My goal recently has been to respond rather than react to what I perceive are excruciatingly provocative circumstances and situations. I want to think and act with grace and dignity, to deep breathe, turn around, walk away, move on, learn the lesson and get a life. This attitude has, in the past, kept me in relationships, out of the law courts, out of jail, out of psychiatric hospitals, in employment and in therapy (or life coaching as we are now doing).
No longer is my therapist my nurturing supporter, smothering me endlessly with loving/kindness, reassurances of never abandoning me and justifying my bad behaviour and lack of social skills as a result of my environment. We have a more pragmatic egalitarian relationship where I feel mentored, rather than mental.
Responding quickly and with social correctness to sudden galling and goading instances and happenings when newly symptom-free, means being switched on to mindfulness at all times; even – especially – when you are unprepared. Life is full of incidental learning curves and today was no exception.
I went to the loo (bathroom) before going into her office and on the wash basin was an expensive text book so I took it to her office and said perhaps we should call office management and pass it on. She told me in a very stern voice, which broached no disagreement whatsoever indeed, that it was all sorted, to take it back to the toilets and leave it there.
But…I started to argue. So she told me that people knew about this and the best course of action was to take them back down – now. But...I started to argue again. However, her icy glare penetrated my fierce resistance and indignation and with my armpits itching I said with a forced smile: oh well I'll have to take another trip down the stairs then.
So I resentfully stamped down the stairs and left the book on the bench and by the time I got back, I had decided to let it go, move on and get down to life coaching.
We then processed what had happened. I asked her how did it feel when I started to argue and she said that she felt I took it well, acted with grace and dignity and even had a sense of humour about it. I said that I felt she was quite directive (because she said we were about to start therapy and she did not want to waste time), however, seeing as I had no emotional investment in the book, I chose to cooperative with the current prevailing winds.
I compliantly conformed with the situation rather than resisting and rowing. I had passed (with a high distinction) my own unexpected accidental learning curve without realising it until it was over. I responded rather than reacted. My external appearance was one of going with the flow. This is what has kept me in the same employment for the past eighteen months.
I do know that eighteen months ago I would have argued with her till I got my own way. We would then have had a magnificent row and I would have shouted at her, devalued her, called her all sorts of names and cast aspersions upon her therapeutic ability, secure in the knowledge she once said she would never abandon me. The added bonus would be that I would have had an audience. Her colleague was in another room with an open door, and I could have seriously embarrassed us both.
I would have then driven home (perhaps through a tree or a freeway pylon) or gone home and drank, smoked, drugged and overate and blamed her for everything (of course) taking no responsibility for my actions.
Then, as the evening progressed, I would have sent her the obligatory apology email crucifying myself. She in return would send a very nurturing, and supportive email expressing loving/kindness (and we'd be back to therapy and not life coaching) and she would reiterate that she would not abandon me – ever.
Her colleague would have understood and silently labelled me as a borderline personality disorder and sympathized and debriefed with her. I would send her more idealizing emails and probably a huge bunch of very expensive flowers. And then we would start the cycle over again. Not dissimilar to the dynamics of a very dysfunctional relationship where abuse and possibly domestic violence are involved.
To a casual observer, this was a simple non-report worthy event, yet it was a monumental life-changing phenomenon to me. This all gets recorded in my body and in my unconscious and builds up and compounds on my social skills, resilience and a theory of mind, so the next time when it happens, I will do the same thing because it will feel right and keep doing it until it becomes automatic and I don't even have to think about it.
This is what other people have taken for granted all their life; the ability to mentalize, empathize and see life from another's point of view, even – especially when they don't agree with them.
It's easily to flow down the river than to fight against the rising tide because you get to your destination a lot quicker, feel a lot less exhausted and you get to enjoy the view on the way down.
Flat tire photo available from Shutterstock]]>
My borderline reaction went to DefCon One in less than a nanosecond and I thought my brain would implode.
To be fair to myself, my thoughts remained relatively mindful (she's said no before for the same reasons and yet I continue to email her things; it could be said that an idiot does the same thing all the time and expects a different response. If that is the case, then I am that idiot) but my body was transported instantly back to the mid-seventies where school bullying and parental fighting had finely tuned my fight, flight or freeze response.
It's total madness to live in a high alert, hyper-vigilant state where everyone who has an adverse opinion is the enemy, but instead of smashing a cup, a plate or the TV remote, I sat in one place without moving and fantasized about her waking up with a teddy bear and rabbit's head on the pillow next to her (Godfather style) and screaming incoherently. Luckily I am familiar with this over-reaction and my mindfulness skills kick in almost immediately; I just needed to briefly indulge my favorite revenge plot for a few glorious seconds.
I even tried watching Desperate Housewives to take my mind off her email, but try as I might she bears an uncanny resemblance to Bree Van de Kamp, so that particular day watching the ladies on Wisteria Lane was like pouring petrol onto an already roaring fire. So I decided to go food shopping and my perfectly coiffed blow-dried hair (ready for a function that night) ended up a tangled sticky mess after an unexpected and surprisingly strong thunderstorm hit our suburb.
Because of my state of mind I should have had a seizure and collapsed, but I amazed myself by taking a deep breath – and getting over it (I didn't make it to the function after all, but that is another story).
But I still was not over that damned email nor my Damned Desperate Therapist. By this time two and a half hours had elapsed since my narcissism needed an ambulance.
These types of semi-fatal injuries are invisible and I managed to hide it well, go about my afternoon without any family member suspecting I was a walking/talking aneurysm. So I decided to re-read the email to see if I had missed something crucial – and I had. I had only read the bit about it not being relevant to therapy but there was so much more that I had missed – or misinterpreted.
This is what happens when my head explodes into a black anaphylactic abyss where toxic neurotransmitters invade and overwhelm my pre-frontal cortex. I literally do not see the rest of the words; I only see the "golf club sentence" which does my head in. I still have that Chernobyl reaction, but now I respond rather than react. I switched on the Large Hadron Collider in my head and manufactured much mindfulness particles (and maybe even the random thunderstorm) out of nothing and let this dark matter wash over me without judgment or criticism (as best I could) and did not let that damned time machine crank itself back to the future where I get sucked into the black hole of the madness and mayhem of the mid-seventies.
I emailed her the next day, took responsibility for my actions (a humbling experience, "sucking it up" as some would say) and mentioned, amongst other things, that I would not send her any more videos for her to watch, and my narcissistic injury healed beautifully without any scar. She knew this; somehow with the words she used in her next email she KNEW what had happened the day before.
She's like that, she gets me. She's a witch sometimes but a good witch. And Teddy and Rabbit are safe again, smiling and carefree in the way that all teddies, rabbits and young children should be.
s_bukley / Shutterstock.com]]>
At my last therapy session my therapist turned into a savage rottweiler; baring her sharp teeth at me, picking me up by the scruff of my neck and shaking the living daylights out of me. The doggone woman deliberately picked a fight about nothing, provoked me into a snarling row, called me a liar and then threatened to sue me for slander.
Interpretation of unfolding events is always a personal perception. I have been seeing her again for some workplace issues that need resolving. I was having problems accepting constructive criticism from the top dog in my organization. I found I was getting deeply triggered when told I was not achieving what I was supposed to achieve in the way she wanted it achieved and I was getting my feathers ruffled in a big way, getting upset, huffy and resolving the issue by fleeing or freezing.
So when within five minutes of arriving, my barking mad therapist activated every button on my panel and almost blew us both up, I almost called her a bitch, walked out the door and planned on brooding, ruminating and plotting impotent revenge against her for the rest of my natural life. Talk about an idealizing transference killer.
I argued back, "why are you doing this to me? Why am I paying you (insert discounted fee here) for you to have this argument with me?" I went from zero to borderline in 30 seconds flat. I wanted to duck for cover. My therapy (and therapist) had turned rabid and gone to the dogs. I might have been reasonably calm on the surface but I was paddling furiously underneath the water in order to stay afloat, but she was like a dog with a bone and would not let go. I had to reach for my handbag before she explained the method in her madness.
In her version of events, in the dog eat dog world of workplace employment, I wasn't understanding how crucial it was to be able to accept criticism. I wasn't getting how important it is to understand that sometimes even people with diagnosed BPD have to "suck it up" when their Princess tiara gets knocked off their head. I wasn't "getting" that I had made a mistake and I needed to learn that not only is it OK to make a mistake, but that it is expected of me; it is not whether I make the mistake that is important, it is how I handle the subsequent discussion of what went wrong.
This is what my therapist was trying to explain to me. Sometimes in order to treat a disorder with a high emotional arousal component one has to tap into those high arousal emotions in order to correct erroneous thinking and belief systems. She also praised me for staying in the moment and processing it. It was tough love and her bite was worse than her bark this time because she cared. Talk about a dog day afternoon.
So when I grabbed my bag to leave, she told me she had deliberately bailed me up with both front paws against the wall and manufactured the situation in order to evoke the implicit (unconscious) emotional system to see my reaction and told me that this is why I have difficulties at work and why she wants to do body-centred psychotherapy with me. She asked me why in the entire argument, had I not been curious as to her point of view. Talk about ducks and drakes. In other words, she was sick to death of chasing her own tail when it came to my therapy not progressing.
I was so thrilled. She doesn't do body-centred psychotherapy with just anyone. You have to be at a certain level of high functioning in order to do so, otherwise she could unleash the "Regan" (Linda Blair from the Exorcist) within. My therapist is an Exorcist, but more of a Joanne Woodward than Max von Sydow. In fact she is the sort of person who would hold an umbrella over a duck to protect it from the rain.
I was able to see what she did clearly and precisely and understood perfectly her body-centred experiment. Last time this happened I suffered the "freeze" syndrome where I sat for 15 minutes without moving and barely breathing. This time I was able to get back into my body and viscerally understand how it works under intense implicit evocation. It was so intense that I cried a few minutes later and after that it was water off a duck's back.
I discovered (in this argument) I was reacting to the past not the present. Her provocation story involved a predator and a prey and I was reacting as a victim to the victim in her story. I was sticking up for the underdog, which of course was me. And this is how I react to people, including my family, children and husband, when even the slightest criticism has occurred.
Since then I've spent time being mindfully alert to how my body responds to criticism and changing how I choose to react. My body is still highly activated; the trauma of the past is locked away inside as it is with most people who are diagnosed with complex trauma disorder or borderline personality disorder. It is up to me to stick with what my therapist is trying to say to me in the nicest way possible so I don't slink out of the door with my tail between my legs.
We have agreed to throw down our gauntlets into the arena and get down, like a pair of dirty dogs for some bare knuckled fighting. Validation and nurturing has been put to one side because as she said, if I don't learn how to take criticism, my beloved job will be in danger. By this stage both our tails were wagging.
Even when I think I can take criticism I know it takes a huge toll on my physical health. Teaching me to accept criticism, to embrace it and even welcome it and remain centered with my tiara still sitting high on my head, rather than strangling me is where I want to be. My therapist now has me on a very short leash.
Perceptions of events differ from person to person. We all know of car accident witnesses who all have different accounts of what happened. I could have picked up my bag, told her to "get ducked" and walked out. I choose to accept her unorthodox method of therapy. I am paying her a ridiculous sum so she can make me feel like a roast duck, yet the lesson she gave me and the one before are priceless in terms of experientiality, safety, trust and loving kindness. She was in total control of what went on in that room; she is, in most ways, my guide dog.
If a man's best friend is his dog, then a client's best friend is her/his therapist.


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We train and prepare our military men and women to handle the challenges of war. Yet, returning to the US after serving in a war zone is loaded with challenges, too. And those may be harder to prepare for.
We invited The World's online community of veterans, their families and their friends to share their best advice for newly-returning veterans.
We've pulled together their wisdom and experience into these 5 tips for picking up with life at home.
1. Ask for help
Rich Williams texted this advice: "Be strong enough and smart enough to ask for help." And, Ronald Gaete from Maryland advised that newly returning veterans should find a mentor in another veteran who has successfully transitioned back to civilian life and "don't be reluctant to ask for help."
Another piece of advice came from Lynn Higgans in Utah who wrote in with this: "Getting help for PTSD is not a sign of weakness, but a statement of strength. Be brave and get treatment for all your wounds. Soldier on."
2. Get your benefits
"Stand up! Fight for whatever it is you want. Benefits, a job, promotion, college degree; go after it with all you've got. You quit, you get nothing!" wrote Michael Villacres of New York.
Chase Gillespie from Denver advised that returning veterans should be proactive with getting their records in order and constantly follow up with paperwork submissions through the VA. "Whether it be medical, G.I. Bill or service record related, the VA will NOT be worrying about your case on a personal basis."
3. Give yourself time
Several from the community suggested that returning vets should give themselves time.
"Don't try to assimilate immediately," wrote Jane Klingesmith of Colorado. "Give yourself time to ease back into 'normal' life. Don't make any life-changing decisions within the first six months."
Another member of the community from Chicago added that "Everyone's different. Take time to decompress and reconnect. Remember, you are still important. If possible, volunteer and use your experience and drive to continue the mission in a different way. Make new 'glory days' here, where you are also needed."
4. Connect with others for support
Emily Armstrong from Indianapolis wrote us, advising to "make sure you have a good support system and at least one person you can openly talk with and tell the deep truth."
Benjamin Hartford of New Hampshire wrote that "whatever it is you've been through (however big or small, no matter what others say,) you are not alone. Guilt, fear, hatred, lack of emotion. Talk to someone."
Several other people from the community encouraged newly-returning veterans to find resources in their local community to help them adapt and reconnect. "A big challenge is recreating the support network you had when you were deployed," wrote Bill Aheron from North Carolina. "There are lots of great people and organizations out there eager to help, but help them find you."
Jonathan Taylor advised: "Just accept that people can love you without understanding you. And that our duty to our community isn't finished."
5. Get involved, volunteer
Adding to the advice from Jonathan Taylor, several people wrote in suggesting that vets should try to get involved with a local organization.
"Our experiences and expertise help inform community leaders and organizations to make our community a better place," wrote Roberto Fernandez III from Florida. "It also helps with the mental aspects of transition following a deployment."
Rounding things out, there was one piece of advice from Andrew Ralston of Minneapolis that we could all take notice of. "Chill out, you aren't in a war zone any more. Relax and love life."
If you are a veteran or are family or a friend of a veteran, we'd love to hear from you. Join our newsroom and help out in our reporting. Sign up to received our occasional text messages by texting "Return" to 69866. And, if you have advice for our newly returning veterans, add your thoughts in the comments below.
Our friends at The Takeaway and the Center for Investigative Reporting also teamed up to find out from veterans about how they've tackled the challenges of returning home.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
While the Mt. Naomi wilderness/roadless area is on the west side of the Bear River Range of the Wasatch, the Cache Crest roadless area includes an area from the crest eastward on the more gentle side of the Bear River mountains.
Originally inventoried by the Forest Service as the "Worm Creek roadless area," a name derived from a minor drainage in the area, Idaho conservationists gave it a more appropriate description, "Cache Crest." Nevertheless, the Forest Service likes Worm Creek, and that's how it's identified on their maps
The area includes the scenic "highline" trail which provides views both down Cub River Canyon to Cache Valley on the west and down St. Charles Creek toward distant Bear Lake Valley on the east. There is one very scenic lake, Bloomington Lake, which is just a short walk from the end of the road. There are two other ephemeral lakes -- Worm Lake and Limekiln Lake -- which begin the summer full, but lose most of their water into the ground because the area contains much karst landscape and drainage.
Tiny Limekiln Lake.
Copyright © Ralph Maughan
The area has a variety of topography from gently-sloping foothills to rugged steep rocky peaks, several of which are over 9000 feet in elevation.
The Cache Crest roadless area is about 41,000 acres and lies just north of the Utah border in Idaho. The area has few developable resources. The Caribou National Forest recommended 16,000 acres of the area from wilderness designation by Congress when their forest plan was adopted in 1986. Wilderness protection is opposed by the machine crowd and they have made heavy inroads, turning most of the trails into ATV highways. The Sierra Club appealed the decision to keep the area open to dirt bikes and their more destructive cousins, the increasingly overpowered 4-wheeled all terrain vehicles. The Caribou National Forest at first agreed to close the area to conserve its wilderness character, but quickly backed down under political pressures.
Wildlife includes bear, cougar, elk, deer, bear, and moose. There have been recent reports of wolves near Bloomington Peak.
Separated from this roadless area by a road is the somewhat smaller Paris Peak roadless area, just to the north. This is fine backcountry and should be kept that way, and the motor vehicles given the boot.
The crest of Cache Crest. Photo from the Highline Trail. This has been
grabbed by the ORVers. This was taken back in the days when the ridge
was silent and rich with wildlife.
Copyright © Ralph Maughan
Cache Crest roadless area/ Oct. 24, 2005
Return to Idaho Wild Country Page.


text:
WASHINGTON -- Federal health advisers yesterday recommended government approval of the first inhaled form of insulin, offering some diabetics an alternative to many of their daily injections.
The recommendation by a Food and Drug Administration advisory panel came despite questions about use of the drug in people who have lung disease or were exposed to secondhand smoke.
No specific restrictions were recommended for Exubera, but FDA officials said smokers probably would not be able to use the drug. Their blood sugar could fall dangerously low with Exubera because they absorb much more inhaled insulin in their lungs than do nonsmokers.
Some advisers also were concerned that patients might not use the device properly. Drug company representatives suggested that the inhaler was not any more complicated than the injections many diabetics now must rely on.
Panel members twice voted 7-2 to recommend FDA approval of Exubera for each of the two most common types of diabetes. The drug is being produced by Pfizer, Sanofi-Aventis, and Nektar Therapeutics.
The FDA usually follows the recommendations of its advisory committees, but is not required to.
The advisers questioned the drug companies about the long-term effects of distributing insulin to the body through the lungs, rather than directly into the blood stream.


text:
Joe's Crab Shack in Auburn Hills
4975 South Baldwin
Auburn Hills, MI 48326
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(248) 393-7319
- Sun - Thu 11:00am - 11:00pm
- Fri - Sat 11:00am - 12:00pm
Cuisine: Seafood Restaurants
4.3 of 5.0 from 10 reviews
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Joe's Crab Shack Reviews
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The best place for family or friends.. Good times great service, awesome food! Try the campfire s'mores... OMG
by Angela Smith V.
Spitballs aka Key Lime Pie. Game. Over.
by Mico R.
Too expensive fucking great food tho
by Randy The P.
The KJ Steampot 👍👍
by Taylor H.
by Teri G.
Me and my girlfriend got crabs here
by David L.
Order a midori super sour- so yummy!
by Alyssa M.
...Yuck :(
by Sara J.
Key lime pie is the best
by Thomas R.
Jalapeño, shrimp and crab balls otherwise known as Great Balls of Fire. The best appetizer around.
by Kevin P.
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text:
Written on: 11/03/2011
My name is paul hart and i am the owner of the pigeon shooter.com please note that the last posting with reference to my co. Has been posted by decoying uk. Please note that there comments are just malicous and i refer to a recent posting in the basc magazine concerncing their co. If they only put as much effort into sorting their own co.as they do trying to discredit mine they could have a good business. Trading standards dont know that i exist, they cant say the same.grow up john and mark. This is the last post that i will make concerncing this matter.


text:
Today, spectators will gather on the Arcata Plaza in fervent anticipation of the noon whistle that will signal the beginning of Humboldt County's greatest annual rite.
The Kinetic Grand Championship is the best expression of all that is unique and good and alive in Humboldt County, and you're advised to witness it. More than timber, more than pot, more than (perhaps) the two combined, this is Humboldt — with a good dash of metalworking mixed in and blended throughout with good will, honest sweat, unabashed bribery and fiery spirit.
From Arcata to Eureka to Ferndale, over land and sea, the Kinetic Grand Championship will bustle, roll, scream, pop and party its way through the Memorial Day weekend. Powered only by humans, wind, sun, gravity and sweet, sweet bribery, participants will pedal or otherwise propel their fearsome contraptions down streets, over dunes, atop bridges, into water, up trails and onto roads again. All over three days. The whole affair, according to organizers, comes to a close on Monday with racers starting to make their way to the finish line on Main Street in Ferndale around noon. The course closes at 4:32 p.m.
There will be great cheer and triumph and catastrophe, and clanking, and cheering, and flames. And bribing of Humboldt royalty.
You should really, really, really go and see it. We can't emphasize this enough. Witness the spectacle! Cheer for your racers! Douse yourself in the glory that is — Kinetic!


text:
Exit routes in LBO projects
The current paper studies the financial structure in buyout firms under moral hazard due to unobservable efforts and an excessive risk-taking. The choice of the exit route may lead to agency conflicts between the entrepreneur and the LBO firm: the former may take very risky decisions to increase the probability of IPO exit. If the target is taking public, he gets a non transferable and private benefit. The opportunistic behavior of the entrepreneur decreases the probability of sale exit; the preferred exit route of the LBO firm. Without moral hazard, there are many ways to finance the project and the two agents exert strictly positive efforts. With moral hazard, the entrepreneur, the LBO firm and the bank must finance jointly the buyout. Financing the project through standard debt-equity contracts does not implement the first-best solution. Only a set of projects can be financed through both the LBO fund and the bank at the macroeconomic level. If the entrepreneur is not wealthy enough, her project is not undertaken
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Malaria is still one of the major causes of mortality and morbidity in the world today. With its global research and development activities and its broad portfolio of innovative solutions, Bayer CropScience contributes to the fight against malaria. The company has been a leader in malaria prevention for over 50 years and offers a unique and comprehensive vector control portfolio, Bayer said.
April 25, 2013
"Malaria is still too often a question of life or death, especially for children under the age of five. Our commitment to research and development has provided the technology and expertise behind products that protect millions of people in Africa and across the world today," said Dr. Gunnar Riemann, member of the executive committee of Bayer CropScience and president of the Environmental Science Division. "By providing our considerable history and expertise in all four areas of vector control – water, air, surfaces and personal protection – we help make a lasting and sustainable impact on the rural development of local communities."
Another reason why Bayer CropScience is committed to playing an ongoing leading role in the fight against this preventable tropical disease is that agriculture is not exempt from malaria's devastating impact. With 80 percent of the world's famers living in malaria-endemic regions, the disease has a significant impact on the availability of labor for both small and large-scale farming and food security, and is thus a major contributing factor to poverty.
VECTOR CONTROL. Bayer CropScience offers integrated vector control solutions and also provides its expertise to support the development of local communities in Africa through training in the correct use of vector control products and education. This includes specially developed cartoon booklets aimed at teaching children how to use bed nets, avoid being bitten by mosquitoes and recognize the early signs of malaria. "Train the trainer" sessions, in particular, ensure that national malaria programs have the capacity and knowledge to develop effective intervention teams throughout their countries.
The portfolio is built around a wide range of complementary products against malaria, such as larvicides, indoor residual sprays and long-lasting insecticide-treated bed nets. One of Bayer CropScience's key brands is Ficam VC, a World Health Organization Pesticide Evaluation Scheme (WHOPES) - recommended indoor residual spray regarded as an important breakthrough in resolving mosquito resistance to pyrethroid-based insecticides. Its active ingredient, bendiocarb, is highly effective and shows no cross-resistance to other insecticides, according to the manufacturer. A more recent example of Bayer CropScience's continued commitment in the fight against malaria is LifeNet, the first major innovation on the long-lasting insecticide treated bed net market for some 15 years.
PUBLIC-PRIVATE PARTNERSHIPS. Bayer CropScience believes that the power of public-private partnerships is key in the global fight against malaria, the company said. "Only through close collaboration between the people who rely on our products and our expertise, national malaria programs and international donor organizations can the full benefit of our solutions be realized," said Riemann. "We believe it is essential to actively involve all our stakeholders in dialogue and joint projects." The company is an active member of the international malaria community and is represented in numerous working groups, including the World Health Organization (WHO) malaria policy group and working groups on neglected tropical diseases, integrated vector management and long-lasting insecticidal nets.
Furthermore, in 2012 Bayer CropScience and the IVCC, Liverpool, UK, a registered charity in the field of product development and information systems for vector control, extended their research partnership for another 3 years. This collaboration addresses future vector control options by focusing on the search for a new insecticidal active ingredient that is particularly effective against resistant mosquito strains.


text:
Ernie Gremillion, the merry prankster, tells of a stunt he pulled:
"Years ago I duck hunted often. About that time, the Postal Service came out with a postage stamp with a picture of a duck printed on it.
"I bought one and placed it on my prior year's hunting license.
"Later, on a duck hunt, I got checked for my license by a game warden and I displayed the prank license.
"He looked at me somewhat in disbelief, telling me that was not a valid duck stamp.
"In my heaviest Cajun accent, I stated, 'Beh, dat's a duck stamp, yea?'
"After keeping him in suspense for a couple of minutes — having him wonder how he was going to explain that a postage stamp with a duck picture was not a valid duck stamp — I came forward with my current license with the official duck stamp on it.
"We all shared a good laugh, with the warden telling me he had never had that pulled on him before."
Chocolate bass?
Beverly Petrere, of Central, says, "My son Louis said, 'If you take your mother to Bass Pro on Mother's Day, you have to be a redneck.'
"Actually, I enjoyed it. They make delicious chocolate."
Bottle search
Karen Corkern Babb tells of her family's unusual quest:
"My mom is Sarah Corkern. Her sister, Kathryn Carpenter, passed away in 2008.
"My son and I were horrified to learn when 'Auntie Peep' was in her 80s that she had never been on a vacation.
"So we 'kidnapped' her to Florida, where in spite of her orthopedic shoes, jacket, dress, stockings and walker, she made it all the way down to the water's edge.
"She sat there in a folding chair for an hour in her Sunday best, wearing a pair of huge clown sunglasses my son gave her, happily blowing bubbles.
"We learned earlier this year that a photograph I took of her doing just that has been chosen to be a label for a soft drink put out by Jones Soda, which uses 'real people' on its labels.
"We're dying to get hold of as many of those bottles as we can, but we can't find any!
"It's in a limited production run and the company can't say where it might turn up.
"The run was commissioned by Costco, but all stores don't carry the same items.
"It would be incredibly wonderful to have people helping us be on the lookout for her Jones Soda debut!"
If you can help, go to email@example.com or call (225) 205-1663.
Good old days
Jay Huner, of Boyce, an internationally recognized expert on the noble crawfish, returned to Baton Rouge for his 50th Lee High reunion and found that things had changed a bit here since 1964.
He found that downtown is a beehive of activity in the evenings — and thanks the police officers who were so helpful when he couldn't find a place to park near the City Club.
Jay also recalled that something else has changed:
"Live crawfish were around 20 cents a pound in May 1964!"
Worthy causes
- The International AIDS Candlelight Memorial in Baton Rouge, coordinated by HAART (the HIV/AIDS Alliance for Region Two) is Sunday, May 18, at 6:30 p.m. in North Boulevard Town Square.
There will be a candlelight vigil and a "jazz funeral" walk through downtown to the music of The Michael Foster Project.
Capital Area Court Appointed Special Advocate Association needs volunteers to advocate for abused and neglected children in foster care.
CASA is accepting people into its next training class, which begins June 10.
Contact training coordinator Garcelia Burchell at firstname.lastname@example.com or (225) 379-8598.
Swamp people
BREC's Bluebonnet Swamp Nature Center celebrates its 17th birthday on Saturday, May 17, from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. with live animal encounters, cake, crafts and free admission. Call (225) 757-8905 or visit brec.org/swamp.
Love thyself
Patricia Alba, of Metairie, tells this story about George "Gee" Mitchell, a popular coach at SLI (UL-Lafayette) who years later served as athletic director at Nicholls State:
"Coach Gee always administered this 'final exam' to his players:
" '1. Who is the best football coach in Louisiana?'
" '2. Why am I?' "
First make a roux …
"Anonymous" tells this "Only in Louisiana" tale:
An outdoorsman, deep in the wilds of the Atchafalaya Basin, came across a weird-looking turtle.
As proof of such a creature, he took numerous and detailed photos with his cellphone camera.
The local newspaper published the pictures, and this drew national attention.
The turtle, according to the experts, was of a species thought extinct since the Ice Age.
A columnist from a national scientific magazine was interviewing the outdoorsman, and asked if there was any further information he could give about the turtle that his detailed photos did not reveal.
"It was delicious," he replied.
Write Smiley at firstname.lastname@example.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.


text:
Vital Statistics at Time of Disappearance
Missing Since: May 15, 1930 from Chicago, Illinois Classification: Endangered Missing Date of Birth: May 9, 1928 Age: 2 years old Distinguishing Characteristics: Caucasian female. Blonde hair, blue eyes. Mary is left-handed. She has a scar on her abdomen from an umbilical hernia. Some accounts spell her last name "Maroney."
Details of Disappearance
Mary was last seen in Chicago, Illinois on May 15, 1930. She lived with her younger sister and her parents, Michael and Catherine Moroney, in the 5200 block of Wentworth Avenue. Catherine was pregnant and the family was destitute. Michael posted an advertisement in a social service column in the newspaper, seeking help for his family. On May 14, a woman calling herself Julia Otis came to the family residence, said she was sent by a social worker named Mrs. Henderson, and offered to assist them. She spent some time with Mary's family and gave them groceries. She offered to take Mary to California with her for a few weeks, but Catherine refused.
Otis returned the next day with money and gifts for the family, including more food and some clothing for the baby Catherine was expecting. She offered to take Mary shopping for new clothing and shoes. Her parents permitted her to go. Otis left the residence with the child and walked down the street. Neither of them were ever seen again.
The following day, the Moroney family got a letter from Otis, saying she'd taken Mary to California and would take good care of her, and would return her to her family in two months. Two weeks later, a woman named Alice Henderson wrote to the Moroneys and claimed Otis was her cousin. She said Otis had taken Mary because she was "love hungry," her own husband and baby having died the year before. Henderson didn't write the Moroneys again. Authorities stated the letters from her and Otis appeared to be in the same handwriting. Otis is described as being about 22 years old in 1930, well-dressed, with protruding teeth and a "cultured" voice. She never contacted Mary's family again and has never been identified.
Mary McClelland, a woman from California, claimed to be Mary Moroney in the 1950s. She had been adopted within a year of Moroney's kidnapping and bore a striking resemblance to Moroney's siblings. McClelland had a highly publicized "reunion" with Catherine and Michael in Chicago in 1952. An anthropologist claimed to have proven by her teeth that she was a relative of the Moroney family, but McClelland didn't have the hernia scar Mary would probably have still had as an adult. McClelland's adoptive mother claimed she'd gotten her from her physician, who supported the story and said he'd delivered the baby himself on November 17, 1927, but neither of them produced any records to prove this. Photographs of Catherine, Michael and McClelland are posted below this case summary. DNA testing later proved Mary McClelland was not Mary Moroney. She died in 2005.
Mary has five brothers and two sisters. Her family has never stopped looking for her.
Left: Catherine Moroney;
Center: Michael Moroney;
Right: Mary McClelland
(all the photographs are from 1954)
Investigating Agency
Source Information
Updated 3 times since October 12, 2004.
Last updated August 2, 2011; details of disappearance updated.
Charley Project Home
If you have any information concerning this case, please contact:
Chicago Police Department
The Doe Network
Time Magazine
The Tucson Citizen
The Long Beach Independent
The San Antonio Light
The Jefferson City Post-Tribune
The Lima News
Among the Missing : An Anecdotal History of Missing Persons from 1800 to the Present
by Jay Robert Nash
Source Information
Updated 3 times since October 12, 2004.
Last updated August 2, 2011; details of disappearance updated.
Charley Project Home
Updated 3 times since October 12, 2004.
Last updated August 2, 2011; details of disappearance updated.
Charley Project Home
Last updated August 2, 2011; details of disappearance updated.
Charley Project Home


text:
I still have all my evidence..in an account..he doesn't have the password..he knows about it..but has no access. he understands and accepts this.
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
Do not let your guard down on how you found information, ever.
You don't have to look at it. I rarely, if ever, look at the stash of trash I have on my husband.
Make hard copies and hide them somewhere safe.
I don't look at the proof I have, but its in a folder, away, safe in case I ever need it.
Former 80s Icon wishful thinking
Make copies of everything & forward/give to multiple trustworthy people & places.
Don't EVER let on to your sources of information.
Because I've kept what I've found, I've been able to document STBX's perverted behavior going back decades, long before he even met me.
We are R, and I still have the electronic copies. The paper copies triggered me every time I opened that cabinet, so I shredded them. If you feel you are looking at them too much, make them inconvenient to get to (on your work computer, for instance!)
If I could go back, I would make a copy on disk and give it to a really good friend to hold for me.
You do not know at this point what info and evidence you may need, so just keep it all. And keep it safe.
And make at least one extra copy.
Big hugs to you. It's a terrible thing to go through, but you'll make it.
Once you delete them you can't get them back, so I'll do it someday.


text:
Champoluc Snow Report 17/01/2015
It has been snowing for the last 48 hours, there is snow in the village and the pistes are in superb condition. All slopes are open and the wind has dropped.
Forecast: Sun on Sunday 18th January followed by more fresh snowfall.
Last Snowed: 17 January 2015
Fresh Snow: 15
Lifts Open: 10
Lower Depth: 15
Upper Depth: 100
Runs To Resort: Excellent
Weather: Snowing
Temperature: 1
Piste State: Excellent / fresh snow
Off Piste Snow: Fresh powder


text:
ADB Assistance for Domestic Capital Market Development
This evaluation assesses the performance of ADB's public and private sector assistance related to the development of policy, legal and regulatory frameworks, and institutions for stock and bond markets from 1986 to 2006.
Efficient capital markets, including stocks and bonds, are essential for mobilizing the long-term capital economies need to sustain growth; they support corporate initiative, finance new ideas, and help manage financial risk.
Yet, while a number of developing countries in Asia had capital markets two decades ago, particularly in South and Southeast Asia, most were poorly capitalized at less than 10% of gross domestic product, with the exception of the Republic of Korea and Thailand.
This study assesses Asian Development Bank (ADB) assistance for capital markets in the two decades from 1987 to 2006, with the focus on more recent years. In that time, ADB financed 36 loan projects in 14 countries totalling $9.2 billion and 109 technical assistance projects in 20 countries for $59.9 million that fully or partly pursued capital market development objectives. The study was based on findings from country studies in Indonesia, Mongolia, Pakistan, Philippines, Sri Lanka, and Viet Nam, which accounted for two-thirds of ADB lending to the sector.
Assistance was rated as borderline successful, indicating scope for improvement. Among the findings, the study notes that ADB did not have a corporate‐level strategy to guide its financial sector assistance, meaning that operational priorities were determined at the country level. The study therefore recommended that ADB develop a financial sector strategy providing a consistent analytical and operational framework.
In addition, the study notes that most of ADB's assistance focused on developing regulatory frameworks, and found the majority of this effectively established the legal basis for securities market operations. It strengthened the capacity of regulatory authorities and improved the governance and self‐regulation of stock exchanges.
- Executive Summary
- Introduction
- ADB Strategies and Assistance Programs for Capital Market Development
- Evaluation of ADB Assistance
- Overall Assessment, Lessons, Issues, and Recommendations
- Appendixes
- Supplementary Appendixes


text: A long gray winter and a spring spent in the USA meant that I have witnessed very few Shanghai sunsets. From November on the sky resembled the fifty shades of gray that is my wardrobe, light, dark and medium. After the Plum Rains finally came to an end the sky finally developed some color and texture. This particular night has been the best, so far.


text:
So I recently learned that I have hip problems causing problems including: back spasms, lack of balance, lack of muscle strength in my quads hamstrings and core, and also my hip flexer and quads are so super tight that femur doesn't rotate properly. Once we found out my balance was due to my hip problem I immediately had my daughter get seen by her PCM to evaluate her pigeon toe and her balance (we have always said she walks just like me including her lack of balance so I was worried). Well low and behold her doctor was a little concerned with how exaggerated her pigeon toe would get at points so she referred her out for physical therapy for gait strengthening and her pigeon toe. We finally had her evaluation at the physical therapist and we found out she has anteversion due to her pigeon toe and this is where my questions are. Erica didn't seem comfortable with her therapist and her therapist didn't seem like she worked with toddlers (Erica will be 3 in February). I also just found out the place I go for pt has a peds therapist (whom I've already talked to a little bit about the situation) and I love all the therapists there.
I have two questions
1. How many visits should I try to see if Erica will warm up to her therapist and see if it is working?
2 Has anyone gone through this before??
My physical therapy is so much easier to deal with because I can explain things and understand the things they are telling me.


text:
Results 1 to 6 of 6
23-04-13, 08:52 #1
Suspension settings, do you adjust?
So with the article of electronic suspension, how much do you use the settings on your forks and shocks,
I am a fan of my lock out on both my bikes, my big bike i will always be using the travel adgust, between 150, 130 and 110. but my hardtail i tend not to adjust the travel and leave it at 120.
my rear shock i never touch, mainly because the lock out was broken from day one and i have never had the money to get it repaired.
23-04-13, 09:04 #2
- Join Date
- Jul 2004
- Posts
- 22,581
I flick the lock out lever on and off and kick my tyres before I ride, does that count?
23-04-13, 10:01 #3
Yes, yes it does.
I'll use the pro-pedal on my FS but with regards to forks, once I get 'em how I want then they get left alone.
Mind you, I'm trying to test the Scott Genius 710 - both for the silly wheel size & the LTD suspension gizmo.
Last edited by Nobby; 23-04-13 at 10:03.
23-04-13, 12:43 #4
Use the lock-out on the Scott quite a lot for smooth, flat stuff and steep, non technical climbs............................................ ...............then forget to unlock it until half way down rocky/rooty descents. :¬/
23-04-13, 14:24 #5
Used to have a fork that you could dial down the suspension and it would stiffen up, but as with LG, I'd always forget to turn it off until I was halfway down a descent, so quickly gave up. Don't the newer ones have an auto-off function if you take a big enough hit?
23-04-13, 16:50 #6
Trail bike gets left alone apart from the lockouts, the Anthem I soften off the forks for bridleway jaunts to reduce the jarring from baked in hoof-prints.
Only alter the pressures though, once the initial fiddling/setup phase is done I tend to leave the compression and rebound well alone, and by altering both the + and - air the static sag stays about the same.
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text:
The dish
Rays at White Sox
When/where: 4:10 today; U.S. Cellular Field, Chicago
TV/radio: FSN; 620-AM, 680-AM (Spanish)
Probable pitchers
Rays: RH Wade Davis (0-1, 5.68)
White Sox: RH Phil Humber (0-0, 27.00)
Watch for …
Wading in: Davis is 2-0 with a 2.19 ERA vs. the White Sox.
Get your Phil: Humber is making his third career big-league start, and has never faced the Rays.
Key matchups:
Rays vs. Humber
Felipe Lopez 2-for-4
Johnny Damon 0-for-2
Sox vs. Davis
Carlos Quentin 2-for-6, HR
Alexei Ramierz 2-for-4, HR
Alex Rios 0-for-5
On deck
Sunday: at White Sox, 2:10, Sun Sports. Rays — Jeff Niemann (0-1, 7.50); White Sox — Gavin Floyd (0-0, 5.14)
Historical footnote of the day
The Rays became the first team at least since 1919 to go six games into a season without getting more than six hits in any of those games. Eleven teams had gone five games into a season, most recently the 2003 Tigers.
Quote of the day
"I still expect to win the American League East. I haven't backed off on that at all."
Joe Maddon, Rays manager, talking about the retirement of Manny Ramirez
Celebration of the day
RHP Jeremy Hellickson, the youngest player on the roster, turned 24 Friday.


text:
Famous for Yale University and the future presidents who went to school there, home of the hamburger and, some say, the world's best pizza (Bill Clinton thinks so). The Silicon Valley of the Industrial Revolution, New Haven is making a proud comeback.
1157 Chapel Street
832 Chapel Street
1226 Chapel Street
223 College Street


text:
Love Sober T-Shirt
Unisex t-shirt with "Love Sober" on front. Offered on white and grey shirts. Other colors available by request.
When you make any purchase from Sexy and Sober, you are helping empower people in recovery! A portion of ALL SALES goes to the Pink Cloud Foundation - helping people in recovery achieve their dream of entrepreneurship. To learn more, visit www.pinkcloudfoundation.org


text:
Alberto Vilar's lawyer accused of dating co-defendant
October 15, 2013
VAIL — Alberto Vilar has lashed out at prosecutors for trying to embarrass the attorney representing him and his co-defendant.
In a letter Friday to a U.S. District Judge, Assistant U.S. Attorney Benjamin Naftalis said it appears attorney Vivian Shevitz is in an "intimate romantic relationship" with Gary Tanaka, Vilar's co-defendant.
"This relationship, by all appearances, would impair Ms. Shevitz's duty of loyalty to Vilar and cloud her judgment with respect to Tanaka," the letter said.
Shevitz denied it in a response filed Monday morning, and Vilar lashed out, standing firmly with Shevitz.
"My lawyer could be involved with Attila the Hun and I would stay with her, she's so damn good. This is just their latest below-the-belt dirty trick," Vilar said in a phone interview from Manhattan. "I've had eight lawyers and this woman is 10 times better than all of them put together. These people are playing dirty. They're trying to rid me of the one lawyer who has successfully worked for me. … I think the prosecutors are trying to embarrass this woman."
Naftalis wrote his letter to U.S. District Judge Richard Sullivan in Manhattan. Vilar and Tanaka will be resentenced, and Sullivan will handle that. Naftalis said Tanaka and Shevitz have been living together since the fall of 2012 and that her representation of both defendants may be compromised.
Recommended Stories For You
Shevitz's response to allegations
The case has been grinding along for almost a decade, and Shevitz has argued that Vilar's original attorneys were incompetent. She was gloriously sarcastic in parts of Monday's response.
"It is certainly refreshing that nearly 10 years after, the government has so much solicitude for the defendants' rights to effective representation," Shevitz wrote.
Tanaka, 70, is receiving treatment for jaw cancer and oral reconstruction, Shevitz said. She said she offered him a place to stay, as she did with one other client, an Israeli who was released on bail by the Second Circuit Court in 2008. Shevitz said she is 69, and that the "relationship" is not germane.
Shevitz has been fighting to get both Vilar's and Tanaka's 2008 convictions overturned. They are free on a $10 million bond.
Prosecutors say Vilar bilked up to $40 million from investors. Shevitz and Vilar continue to argue that those "losses" did not happen, and that his attorneys should have made that clear during the trial.
They argue that the government froze more than $50 million in 2005 at J.P. Morgan Chase, and there is more than enough money to repay the victims, but the government won't release it.
Vilar said that, somehow, prosecutors calculate that a $20 million capital gain is the equivalent to a loss.
"I never stole one penny. There is not and never was one penny missing," Vilar said. "They either didn't do their research or they are lying."
Vilar said federal prosecutors asked that he receive a 26-year sentence. He was sentenced to nine years in prison and was sent to federal prison in Fort Dix, New Jersey. Tanaka was sentenced to five years and served two and a half.
"Where was the government trying to protect my rights when they asked for a 26-year sentence? That's a death sentence for someone my age. They got a nine year sentence, and that's also a death sentence," Vilar said.
Prosecutors say Vilar and Tanaka promised clients at Amerindo Investment Advisors Inc. high returns in seemingly safe "deposit accounts," but lost millions of dollars investing in technology stocks.
On Aug. 30, a federal appeals court in New York upheld the convictions of both men, but said they needed to be resentenced because their punishments, including their prison terms, need to be revisited.
Vilar said he will not go quietly.
"I will continue to fight. They've had my money frozen for eight years, they've had me locked up, they've sued me for $100 million with no money missing. They're doing everything possible to keep us from defending ourselves. They will have more dirty tricks," Vilar said.
Vilar was a second-homeowner and philanthropist in the Vail Valley. He donated money to help build the Vilar Performing Arts Center, which is named after him.


text:
At Clarity Connect, we look forward to answering your Internet and computer related questions. Please call, email or use the online contact. We look forward to hearing from you!
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Ithaca, NY 14850
Phone: (607) 257-8268
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Office Hours: Monday - Friday: 9:00AM - 5:00PM


text:
Dispatches from Birtherstan -11-15 May 2013
In today's dispatches, the continuing meltdown of birtherstan continues. Besides the ongoing belief that Roy Moore will be the birtherstani's latest Great White Hope, you have them madly flailing around trying to find something, anything to attach to.
James Manning exhibits sub-par scholarship, while Cody Judy waxed nostalgic about the heady days of Manning's pretend "trial". Deadbeat dad Larry Klayman's Alabama Birther Ballot Jihad case has become a magnet of suck, with not only Klayman himself, but special guest stars Lucas Smith and Boy Defective Mike Zullo.
Dr. Orly harasses the media and pretty much anyone else to make sure the attention is all about the Nitrous Queen herself, in all her fading glory. We have an echo of the secret cRAP masters. Professional seditionist Sharon Rondeau finds someone even crazier than Lame Cherry to attach herself to.
Christopher Srunk files an absolute impressive amount of pure medical-grade crazy. The Huffington Post makes Dr. Orly closed-captioned for the insanity-impared. And Rudy Davis is quite impressively insane, not only spewing forth a stream of homophobia that makes me suspect some issues in Rudy's closet, but calling for President Obama's execution "just like Ol' Yeller".