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Is your theater struggling to pay the BILL$?
Jeannette Jaquish's Rambunctious, Twist Ending, Low Cost or FREE Children's Plays and Community Theater Scripts will DAZZLE your audiences.
~ Jeannette will answer your questions, explain staging and set changes, and re-write sections and add or subtract characters to make a script work with your stage and cast. ~
<--Contact Playwright Jeannette Jaquish . . . . . 1-Click email . . . . . ORDER a SCRIPT!
Click QUICK LINKS to CATEGORIES of SCRIPTS![Cast Size / Length / Actor's Age] ~ * ~ [Christmas and Holidays] ~ * ~ [Fairy Tale] ~ * ~ [Mystery] ~ * ~ [Science & Educational] ~ * ~ [Halloween or Spooky] ~ * ~ [Theater Camp] ~ * ~ [Short Plays and Skits] ~ * ~ [Easy Plays for Little Kids] ~ * ~ [Scenes for Contests] ~ * ~ [FREE Talking Frogs Scene Books]
VIDEO CLIPS! or Scroll down to see ALL SCRIPTS! ORDER a SCRIPT!
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The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
"And I won't be dumb and dumber, After writing every number, If I only had a brain!"
From the classic by L. Frank Baum, comes a delightful musical stageplay by Jeannette Jaquish
<-- Click for Excerpts, Tech, Photos, Music & Info!
COST: Complex: 1st performance: $50; Additional: $20 each; or $120 for a year.
Simplified: 1st performance: $40; Additional: $15 each or 100 for a year.
3-CD Music Set (Act 1, Act 2, Rehearsal): $45
CAST: 20 to 39+
TECH: Medium-Difficult
LENGTH: 120 to 130 minutes.
This play is a $$Money-Maker! Of all my scripts, this one brings in the largest audience. It is better than the MGM movie ver$ion.
ORDER a script! ~ * ~ "Video Clips"
~ Slipperzzzz! ~ Cobb and the Twelve Dancing Princesses
by Jeannette Jaquish
"Then send them to the blacksmith for iron shoes, because I QUIT! "
~ Girls and boys will love this action-packed fighting-dancing musical comedy romance (with no kissing)! -- Great for a Theater Dance School!
<--Click for Excerpts!
<--image by Morena Forza at www.morenaforza.com
<-- Poster with your theater name inserted, plus date, time, price, location etc.
COST: 1st performance: $30; -- additional performances: $15 each; or 1 year: $90.
TECH: Simple furniture, lighting, props, and sets. Tech notes & stage drawings.
LENGTH: About 70 minutes.
CAST: 24 to 43 actor-dancer-singers, with lots of fun Townfolk, Bandit, Servant, Underworld Prince and Villain characters.
See Excerpts! ~ * ~ ORDER a script! ~*~ "Video Clips"
~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~MUSICAL House Elf Scene!
Harry Potter and the Obnoxious Voice - The ssssPOOF!
--- "Dobby will pour red ants in his ears for punishment!"
a parody of the Harry Potter book series by J.K. Rowling and the movies based on her books
adapted into a mystery spoof theater script by J.R. Jaquish
<--Click for EXCERPTS, PHOTOS and TECH!
COST: 1st performance: $30; addtl: $15 each; or 1 year: $90.
MUSIC CD: $23 - Great licensed music -- NOT the movie soundtrack
CAST: 9 to 26 actors
TECH: Medium-simple. Mostly ordinary objects. Tech notes.
LENGTH: 32 min./ 45 min./ 65 min. / 75 min.
CAST: 9 to 26 actors
Watch Video Clips! ~*~ Order Me!
"I printed out the script and I couldn't stop laughing. I am going to have too much fun doing this show! You have been much more helpful than any other play company I have ever worked with. By the way- working in the Puppet Pals reference was brilliant and I can already see the Time Clock Life number in my head. Thanks again!"
-- Laura Comito, Artworks Studio, 507 N. Main St., Carroll, Iowa www.carrollarts.org
HARRY - Ron! And Hermione! This is great! How did you get here? Did your dad magic another Muggle car?
RON - No, Mum would never let him. Says it's too dangerous if Fred or George or I get ahold of it.
HARRY - So how did you get here?
RON - We hitch-hiked 80 miles. Got robbed twice and beaten up once. Escaped a car wreck by crawling out the shattered windshield before it exploded, and hid for 3 days in a septic tank while a motorcycle gang looked for us, but never used magic!
HERMIONE (proudly) - I wouldn't let him! I'm not getting expelled!
PEEVES the POLTERGEIST - Twisted vicious little house elf! You has messed with my miasma! Just kill me!"
DOBBY and WINKY - You're already dead!
<--Click for Excerpts!
adapted by Jeannette Jaquish from the classic by Carlo Collodi.
The Townfolk fear new and strange things -- then Geppetto creates a talking wooden puppet! Blue Fairies and Three Blind Mice pop up to help tell this delightful story of a good-hearted naive little boy who is distracted into dangerous situations and bad company. A very redeeming happy ending.
COST: 1st performance: $40; -- additional performances: $20 each; or 1 year: $80.
LENGTH: Two versions: 45 min. and 60 min. A full length more complex version is being written
CAST: 32: Townfolk, 3 Blind Mice dancer/singers, 3 Blue Fairies, Children/Donkeys, Cat, Fox, Tromboni, Coach Driver, Pinocchio, Geppetto, Jiminy.
TECH: Simple-Medium
CLICK to ORDER a SCRIPT!
TROMBONI: Oh Pinocchio, you made me so much money today!
You are the Goose that laid the Golden Egg!
You are my Cash Cow! You are my Gravy Train. You are making me rich, rich, rich!
PINOCCHIO: You are making me hungry hungry hungry. I'm going to go home now and eat dinner.
TROMBONI: Go home! Go home? Why of course, but first, I have a surprise for you. . . .
It's a GOOD Life, by Jerome Bixby
---"They were thinking about making a trap for me. That's why I made them catch on fire."
<-- CLICK on the omnipotent child for EXCERPTS and INFO
- a suspense-filled stageplay based on the award winning 1953 story by Jerome Bixby*, famous science fiction author
- adapted for "The Twilight Zone" by Rod Serling 1961
- produced by Stephen Spielberg in "Twilight Zone: The Movie", 1983
- spoofed in "The Simpson's Treehouse of Horror II", 1991
- Science fiction theater adapted for stage by Jeannette Jaquish; (c) 2008, 2010 Jeannette Jaquish
See Video Clips!
CLICK to ORDER!
LENGTH: approximately 55 minutes
CAST: 10 adults, 1 small child age 5-6, and 2 teens: boy and girl.
TECH: Easy to get old props, costumes and furniture. 1 set. Simple lighting.
SET: One set: Porch downstage and Kitchen-Parlor upstage
COST: Royalty: $30-first performance, $15-additional performances, $90 for one year.
DVD of the disturbing scenes Anthony makes on television: $6, to play during birthday party scene.
HANK - Henry Jr.'s got something for you, Dan.
HENRY JR - Here, Mr. Hollis. Just a little something. (Hands Dan a hand decorated envelope. Dan opens it curiously and pulls out a short pencil.)
DAN: (thrilled) - A pencil! Oh, you wonderful boy! Look! It has a quarter inch of eraser left. Look everybody! (They are amazed.) A pencil. It's at least 4 inches long. (tests it) And it works!
ETHEL - Don't waste it darling.
HENRY JR. - I found it inside the Wallace's couch.
DAN - And you gave it to me, you wonderful boy! (Everyone ooohs and ahhhs. Pencils were used up long ago.)
THELMA (aside to someone) - He must have gotten to their couch before I did.
*Among a long list of writings, Jerome Bixby wrote scripts for three Star Trek episodes, co-wrote the story that Fantastic Voyage was based upon, and dictated "The Man From Earth" on his deathbed to his son Emerson, in 1998. The Star Trek: Deep Space Nine- Mirror Universe Episode "The Emperor's New Cloak", 1999, was dedicated to Bixby's memory.
Click for excerpts!
~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~ Teach children to speak up!
Dissolve the fear of public speaking by getting them onstage.
This world needs brave people who will not be quiet when truth needs to be said.
When they took the 4th Amendment, I was quiet because I didn't deal drugs.
When they took the 6th Amendment, I was quiet because I am innocent.
When they took the 2nd Amendment, I was quiet because I don't own a gun.
Now they have taken the 1st Amendment, and I can only be quiet. -- Lyle Myhr
Wartsalot! -- The Frog Prince and the Princess Brat
"Taste fangs of death, Scoundrel Frog!" -- Cupcake, the Princess's pet
<--Click for excerpts!
-->Video clip!
A fractured fairy tale children's theater script!
adapted for stage by Jeannette Jaquish
VERSION #1: The Frog Prince and the Princess Brat
CAST: 6 to 14 depending on short, medium or long version.
LENGTH: 20, 50 or 75 minutes. 4, 5 or 7 scenes. Medium tech complexity.
COST: 1st performance: $25; additional: $10 each; or 1 year: $65.
Music CD: $23
Order a Script!
PRINCESS CONCEITA: A prince?? Not likely, talking like that. If you were ever a human you held out a beggar's hat."
FROG: "I teased a frail old woman, begging on the road. I kicked her cane to make her fall and Poof!--I was a toad."
QUEEN: So polish the armor, and the gargoyles need clothes!
The peasants are revolting, or so I'm told by my nose.
And the moat monster needs grooming - He's got bones stuck in his teeth!
Put him on a vegetarian diet. We're using too much beef!
Click for excerpts.
VERSION #2: Simplified with More Actors
in a Musical and NON-Musical version
The Frog Prince and the Princess Brats, JR <-- Click for Excerpts!
an easy children's fairy tale play by Jeannette Jaquish
Order Me!
The basic story with lots of funny lines for all characters. arrators can prompt actors when they forget a line. And it RHYMES!!!
COST: $10 first performance, $5 additional, or $30/year.
---- $30 for Music CD for the Musical Version.
THREE LENGTHS: 20 to 25 minutes
THREE CAST SIZES: 14 to 22 actors, age 7 and up.
3 Princesses (so less crying after auditions), 3 or 4 Frog-puppets, a Queen, optional King, 1, 2 or 3 Narrators, 3, 4 or 5 Townsfolk, 3 or 4 Servants, and a Boy Prince.
"Your play was a hit, and ended the year on a very high note! All of the parents, students, and other teachers that saw it bragged on how good it was. Thanks so much!" - - - Donna Huff, Pittman Center Elementary, Gatlinburg, Tennessee
~ * ~ Click to ORDER A SCRIPT!
If you find BROKEN LINKS
or problems with this website, or have a a question,
please Contact Me! . . . . . . . . . .
~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~<-- Click to see List of Scenes for All Three Books!
In 3 age groups:Dr. Frankenstreudel's Lemon Fresh Laboratory of Horrors
~ Age 6 to 8 .~*~. Age 8 to 13 .~*~. Age 13 and older ~
Kids love to read scenes and put on little performances.
Great for teachers, camp leaders and home schoolers!
No charge for the download, copying, distributing or performing!
<--Click on image to get the PDF files FREE.
Or ORDER for Christmas or Birthday!
A Talking Frogs CD Collection makes a GREAT Gift!!
For teachers, activity leaders, scoutmasters, homeschoolers and parents.
ORDER All 3 "Talking Frogs" Scene Books
on pdf files on one CD ready to print out.
PRICE: $10 each CD in a case; add $3 for gift-wrapped with a note.
POSTAGE to the US included and mailed by next day.
"Sometimes I feel like saying, "Fetch your own clotting factor!" -- Misty, the sickly lab rat
<--Click for excerpts!
an absurd thriller science themed stageplay by Jeannette Jaquish
COST: 1st performance: $20; Additional: $10 each; or 1 year : $60.
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SUMMARY: Four squabbling urchins escape a mad doctor, a Julia Child / Frankenstein monster, a sickly lab rat and ravenous zombies. Educational, witty and absurd with lots of action.
CAST: 2 boys, 2 girls, 4 or 7 adults or big kids
LENGTH: 55 minutes. 5 scenes. Medium tech complexity. At least a 3 1/2 foot high platform for graveyard scene.
FREE: Scene 1
QUOTES: "Those little wretches ruined my best spoons prying the bars of their cages!" -- Eyegore
"They may be mindless, flesh-eating zombies, but they are still your elders." -- Old Man Wellard
Click for excerpts.
Auditioning a Ghost, by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
"I need moonlight to be effective." -- the Jilted Bride Ghost
<--Click on images for first scene and excerpts!
(from the Sir Arthur Conan Doyle story, "Selecting a Ghost")
a ghostly thriller adapted for stage by Jeannette Jaquish
Makes a great dinner theater mystery script!
(Be careful what you wish for. Hauntings are forever.)
COST: 1st performance: $30; addtl: $10 each; 1 year: $70.
ACTORS: 10, at least 3 females, at least 3 males
LENGTH: 1 hour 15 minutes +.
TECH: Medium. Move furniture for set change. Ghostly lighting.
See Video Clip
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Arthur Conan Doyle wrote this in his earlier years, before his Sherlock Holmes series eclipsed his other excellent works. It has an ingenious situation as a husband/father seeks to give his wife/daughter the haunting she wants by hiring a "fake" gypsy medium. A stiff-upper-lipped English butler and plotting Cook enhance a devious plot with many unexpected twists.
You receive two variations, one with wife as lead, one with daughter as lead.
FREE: Scene 1
QUOTES: "I'm ashamed to host even a tea party with no story to tell. A real castle should have a ghost." -- Gladys, spoiled daughter or wife.
"And I thought we plunked your inheritance in to this drafty old castle for the prestige of a wall-size fireplace over which to hang our mail order coat of arms. You should have told me you wanted a ghost. We could have bought an RV and parked it over a few plots in the cemetery." -- Monty, the father
More excerpts.
Don't Look in the Lake
"... while the losers have to clean the portapotty with their pillowcases!"
a comedy thriller short play for kids and teens by Jeannette Jaquish
Click on the campers for EXCERPTS.
COST: $10 first performance, $5 additional, or $30/year.
PROPS: 2 clipboards, bin of recyclables, fake campfire, 2 balloons, broom, mop, backpacks, suitcases. Table & 4 or 7 chairs.
TECH: Quick but simple set changes. Need lighting for night scene.
- Short version: 7 or 8 characters: about 20 minutes.
- Long version: 11 characters: about 24 minutes
- Less Scary Version: 12 characters: about 25 minutes
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A spooky, dangerous, absurd little gem of life at camp. Lousy food, creepy counselors, dead possum art projects, electric fences and hoeing the tobacco fields. And just when the week is almost over, the campfire stories start coming true.
The kids LOVED the scripts!!"
-------Diana Oswald, Event Coordinator www.OnceinaLifetimeEvents.biz
RICKY - I tried using the pay phone to call home. It wants 40 Canadian quarters!
PENNY - I saw a trash can full of campers' letters to home. I read some of them. Do you know that last week they had to dissect a possum for arts and crafts?
ANDREW - That sounds very educational!
RICKY - We've got to escape. (to Penny) Do you want to go with me?
PENNY - We could sneak out after lights out!
ANDREW - Are you out of your mind? Didn't you hear the story about Drowned Debbie? She'll crawl out of the lake and drag you back in!
Click for excerpts.
Advice for New Directors and Directing Childreno-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
A Duck's Tale
by Scott Rousseau
<--Click on the Duck for Excerpts
"But Mom! I wanted the new medieval Barbie!" -- Snow White
Arcadia, the Ugly Duckling, bungles through many other fairy tales meeting Witches, Snow White, The Cheshire Cat, and even the police, causing mayhem and hilarity. Lots of fun character parts.
COST: $20 first performance, $10 each additional. $60 for one year.
CAST: 7 or more actors: 3 male, 3 female, age 12 thru adult. Experienced to do multiple roles with simple quick costume changes
TECH: Simple Set and props, Lighting changes, No music
LENGTH: About 45 minutes.
You Don't Bring Me Dead Flowers Anymore
Marriage Counseling? Over My Un-Dead Body!!!
<--Click on dead flowers for Excerpts!
a psychoanalysis spoof by Jeannette Jaquish
COST: $10 first performance,
$5 additional,
or $30/year.
Order Me!
DESCRIPTION: Neither the therapist or the at-her-wits-end-wife realize that the husband's recent crude, grabby and drooling behavior is because he has been bitten on a camping trip and turned into a zombie.
I have seen audience members laugh until they cried as the husband flops and lurches around the stage trying to get his teeth on his wife's head, as the wife shoves him away using her chair and feet, and the therapist explaining everything as psychoanalytical mumbo-jumbo. Very funny twist ending using audience shills. Slightly PG, but easily edited out.
CAST: 2 couples and the therapist: male or female.
TECH NEEDS: 3 sturdy chairs, therapist can have a cheat sheet on a clipboard
LENGTH: a short play about 10 minutes
WIFE: Can we talk about my husband's increasingly agressive behavior? Like last week, when we were in K-mart, he tried to get my whole scalp in his head! I had to hit him with a can of paint to make him stop. And then I had slobber all over my hair. I had to go to the toilet paper aisle and open a roll of paper towels to wipe off my head. People were looking!
THERAPIST: Ralph, your public display of affection is embarrassing your wife. Can you hear the humiliation in her voice?
RALPH: I sorry...
WIFE (sarcastically): Oh. More words. Big improvement.
THERAPIST: Yes, it is a big improvement. Thank you, Stephanie. Even a counselor appreciates a compliment now and then.
Click for excerpts.
Lost Hearts, by Montague Rhodes James (1862-1936)
"Don't the trees look like claws grabbing at the sky?"
<--Click on spooky scene for Excerpts!
a classic ghost story by a famous author adapted for stage by Jeannette Jaquish
COST: $10 first performance, $5 additional, or $30/year.
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DESCRIPTION: A suspenseful ghost story by M.R. James, a respected author of the 1800's.
In "Lost Hearts", an orphan, Stephen, is unexpectedly sent for by his elderly, rich, eccentric cousin who is unusually interested in his age, and is an expert on ancient religions' teachings on immortality. Stephen hears of two other orphans taken in who disappeared one night leaving behind shoes or favorite toys. He is visited by two young murdered ghosts. As Mr. Abney arranges for Stephen to meet him secretly after hours on the vernal equinox, an evil plot is revealed. Clues to decipher. Happy ending.
CAST: Stephen, Mrs. Bunch, Mr. Parkes, Mr. Abney & child ghosts: Jevanny & Phoebe.
LENGTH: About 55 minutes.
TECH NEEDS: furniture re-arranging set changes, need a fake fireplace, chairs, table, desk, bed with bedding, and the ability to run fishing line through a pulley in the ceiling for ghostly special effects.
STEPHEN (stands) It was the girl I saw in my dream. She was still standing like this (arms crossed over heart) and a boy, very skinny; his hands were up like this. And ... he had a hole here, over his heart. He scared me.
MR ABNEY Ah, sad lost souls. They'll wander on and find a resting place somewhere else, I expect.
STEPHEN How do you suppose they died? How did the boy get the hole in his heart?
MR ABNEY No idea.
STEPHEN Aren't you going to tell me to not tell Mrs. Bunch?
MR ABNEY (soft chuckle) I'll leave that up to you, my boy. Stephen, I want to tell you that I have thoroughly enjoyed your stay here. You have been a bright, cheerful, engaging companion --
STEPHEN Are you sending me away???
MR ABNEY No, no, of course not.
STEPHEN You said I "have been".
MR ABNEY And so you have been and so you will be. I propose a toast! (THEY BOTH stand. MR ABNEY hands STEPHEN a champagne glass of liquid and takes the other for himself) Don't worry, it's not alcoholic. To you Stephen! And our future together!
STEPHEN To you Mr. Abney! May you live forever!
(MR ABNEY bursts out laughing. They click glasses and drink. Mr. Abney now observes Stephen closely.)
STEPHEN What's so funny, Mr. Abney? ( pause) Sir?
(Mr. Abney does not answer but continues to look. Stephen is puzzled by his lack of answer and then the sedative takes effect. His face slackens and his knees buckle. Mr. Abney reaches forward and smoothly plucks the glass from Stephen's hand before it spills. STEPHEN crumples to the floor. )
More excerpts.
Do not fear! It has a Happy Ending!
Alice in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll
"She doesn't chop off anyone's head! It's the rest of you who do it for her!" -- Alice's rallying cry to the Queen's subjects
<-- Click on tea party for excerpts!
Classic story theater script adapted for stage by Jeannette Jaquish
ACTORS: 23 to 40 all ages.
LENGTH: 2 hours but never boring.
TECH: Medium complexity. Simple sets. Falling down the Rabbit Hole & Hallway of Doors and Pool of Tears involve some manipulation.
COST: 1st performance: $30; Additional: $15 each; $90 for a year of unlimited performances.
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"I recently ordered Alice in Wonderland from you and I would like to say it's fantastic and going great. As this was the first thing I have ever directed, I was surprised by how easy the script made it for me. I'm glad to hear that I can film it."Photos of Adams College in Colorado's production of this script
--- Abi Harris, performance March 2011, Trinity Theatre, Cowes, Isle of Wight, England ~ * ~ Click to read the glowing theater review in the Isle of Wight County Press!
~ * ~
Alice grows until her head, arms and legs stick out
the chimney and windows of the White Rabbit's House in this photo
from the Firehouse Theater in Fort Wayne, Indiana. -->
"I stink, therefore I am" -- Duchess
"Either you, or your head, must be off!" -- Queen
"The beach is here. Wish you were lovely." -- Mad Hatter's post card
~ * ~This is the best stage adaptation of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland that you are going to find.
Main stage scenes alternate with shorter scenes in front of the closed curtain to allow set changes behind curtain.
Ingenious low tech special effects allow Alice to grow and shrink.
Alice is played by three actresses: small, medium and tall (we used age 7, 11 & 16 for example) with a size-changing experience between each. At a performance directed by the author, a young child in the audience upon seeing all three Alices onstage for the first time during bows, was overheard saying, "Look, Mom, there's three of them!"
Each actor can play multiple parts, except the Alices and the White Rabbit, making your cast size flexible.
Click for EXCERPTS!
--Charlie Brown shows
--Alice in Wonderland costumes
--Wizard of Oz: Dorothy, Lion, Flying Monkey shirts
--Harry Potter: House Elf noses on glasses + ears
--All kinds of costumes for the shows you see here.
--If you have a costume need - Ask!
Contact This Website! . . . . . . . . . .
"Witches, Goblins, Ghosts and Ghoulies"
Song and sheet music. Free!
Halloween, Horror and Mystery Theater Scripts <--Click on gravestone!
The Beast of Ghastly Manor
The Shadow radio plays
Sorry, Wrong Number
Twilight Zone Scripts
Phantom of the Opera
and lots more!
(On the page you are on right now, "Don't Look in the Lake" & "Lost Hearts" & "You Don't Bring Me Flowers" & "Dr. Frankenstreudel" & "Auditioning a Ghost" are Halloween plays.)
Pippsi Longknickers
SIR HORACE: "You were rather impressive yourself, autographing each cookie with your thumbprint."
PROF. BANANA: (holding up thumbs) "If you've got 'em, flaunt 'em."
<--Click on Pippsi for excerpts and free Tea Party scene!
(inspired by Pippi Longstockings by Astrid Lindgren)
theater script adapted for stage by Jeannette Jaquish
(Freckled bombshell bullies bullies, gooses high society and does her part for intergalactic harmony.)
COST: $10 per performance; or 1 year : $40.
Order Me!
Actors: 16 to 25, including 5 smaller and 5 larger
Length: 75 minutes or less (scenes may be cut). 7 scenes. Medium tech complexity but a lot of it.
FREE: Tea Party Scene
Quotes: "Spelling bee award? How nice! Now you can hold your head up high around the prettier girls." -- Mrs. Belittleton
"Once Grandma's servant stole her grand piano but she had no place to hide it so she dragged a carpet over it and told Grandma that the house's foundation was settling unevenly!" -- Pippsi
Use your costumes and props in parades!
~ * ~
Who Framed Lucky the Leprechaun?<--Click for excerpts!
an absurd mystery script by Jeannette Jaquish
A Great St. Patrick's Day Theater Script!
An absurd, action-packed, edgy script perfect for experimental theater or teenage casts, plus a few little kids to be leprechauns!.
COST: $10 per performance; or 1 year: $40. Order Me!
CAST 9 to 28 actors. Need 3 to 7 kids and at least 6 to 21 teens or adults, depending on if actors play one part or multiple parts.
LENGTH: about 55 minutes.
TECH: Easy-medium. Alternates scenes onstage and in front of closed curtain or in the audience to allow fast shoving around of chairs and card tables onstage. Carry on props: camcorder, bucket, Lucky. Basic lighting throughout. No special lighting.
COSTUMES & PROPS: 1 big and 3 small leprechaun costumes. A cop and detective. Toy machine guns. Lucky Charm and Trix cereal boxes. A working vacuum cleaner. Two Camcorders, working or not.
EDGY MYSTERY: This show has lots of hilarious characters, action, and ridiculous situations around a logical mystery which is revealed in the climactic ending.
The script is slightly PG with bits about test tube birth, a misunderstanding about a girl named Trixie, a leprechaun trying to get drunk on Strawberry Quik, a cop wanting to do a "search", and speculation about a Leprechaun using lots of clover, but it is all tastefully done, and little kids won't understand those parts anyway. This a great show for mixed ages.
LUCKY: Ralph! Ralph, me boy! Show some charity to the wee ones. Hello me little lads and lassie. You're a fine lookin' bunch. And sure you'll be wantin' an autograph to show your friends back home?
KID 2 - Look, Look who it is!
KID 3 - It's Lucky. It's Lucky! He's old! He's old, and big! (EXIT screaming)
Later... DIRECTOR - I'm sorry you found out like this Lucky. The Big Guy, he thinks you're getting a bit old for this role, I mean how old are you? 300?
LUCKY - I'm just 298!
DIRECTOR - And it appears you've had a growth spurt lately. We just can't get actors any bigger to play the children without borrowing from the NBA or Ripley's Believe it or Not.
More Excerpts!
Strange Time at the Science Fair<-- Click for Excerpts
a science themed sci-fi play script by Tom & Zephyr Jaquish
COST: $10 first performance, $5 additional, or $30/year.
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SUMMARY: The little science nerd says his invention can control time but while the judge stares skeptically at the unchanging pendulum the events transpiring behind them swing hilariously from high speed to slow motion. Using three real science fair projects and the time control project, you can present an educational, absurd and very very funny little show.
LENGTH: About 18 minutes.
CAST: 4 kids, 1 adult judge, 1 teen or adult photographer
PROPS: 3 real science fair projects, 1 fake project with all printed signs provided in the script- you paste them on a science fair board, pendulum, some kind of device to be the time controller, a tone or audio FX generator - even a toy keyboard with sound effects will work, card tables for the projects. Award ribbons or trophies.
TECH: A device that generates a high and low tone.
(NICK is demonstrating his Time Control device to Dr. Bergers. The other kids and the photographer are behind them.)
DR BERGERS - Nothing happened. The period of the pendulum swing remained constant.
NICK - Hmmm. I'll turn it to slow motion.
DR BERGERS - OK, let me get a fix here. (Starts pendulum, looks at watch.) OK, go!
NICK - We start at normal speed (dial tone down) Now it's slow.
(Kids & Photographer in the background SLOW DOWN.)
PENELOPE - Looook ! it's Albeert Einsteiiiin....
(all start slowly running to side front corner of audience)
DENTIN - Myyyy Heerooo!
WALLY - Hey Einstein???? Caaaan I haaaave youuur Autoooograaaph?
(They crash into each other at edge of stage as first one stops unexpectedly. Big Pileup. Get up. Head back.)
DENTIN - Oh, noooo. It was just the jaaaanitor.
PENELOPE Well, he loooked like Albert Eiiiinsteiiiin...
NICK - And back to normal speed. (tone to normal)
(Background people up to NORMAL SPEED.)
DR BERGERS - I'm sorry, I didn't see any change. It was the same both times.
More excerpts.
Snow White and the Eco-Disaster Dwarves
a funny fairytale with an environmental message, by Jeannette Jaquish
Click on Apple for Free Script!-->
CAST: 4, Snow White and Three Odd Dwarves
LENGTH: About 5 minutes.
PRICE: FREE if you tell the playwright.
A catchy easy to learn short play about abusing the forest.
For all ages to watch. Actors age 7 on up.
DIGGER - I'm Digger.
DUMPER - I'm Dumper.
CHOPPER - I'm Chopper Downer.
SNOW WHITE - Those are funny names. I thought you'd be named Bashful or Happy or Sneezy.
DIGGER - Oh, they moved out long ago.
DUMPER - Yeah, when the forest was still green.
CHOPPER - They left some nice furniture.
Little Red Riding Hood and the Bad Idea Shortcut
folktale adapted by Jeannette Jaquish
<--Image by Gustave Dore' (1832 - 1883)
<--Click on Wolf and Red for EXCERPTS & DETAILS!
LENGTH: About 20 minutes.
PRICE: $10 first performance, $3 additional, $32 for 1 year.
TECH: MEDIUM-EASY - Need a bed stage prop. One Set.
COSTUMES: Page of links.
Not only does the Wolf get a surprise from Little Red, so does the Narrator and the Woodsman!
Many absurd moments bring new life to an old favorite.
Lines are easy, catchy and funny. The Narrator's lines remind the actors of their lines, and Narrator ad libbing can rescue when a line is forgotten.
Photo Cast: Narrator-Allison, Wolf-James, Little Red-Autumn, Mother-Julia, Woodsman-Laramie, Grandmother-Haley.~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~
Photos from 2005
Poor kid. His share of the National Debt has doubled since then to $53,2410.
Use your costumes for street theater and parades!
~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~Author: Jeannette Jaquish: I grant permission to perform my Free plays IF I am notified and the author and this website (www.theaterfunscripts.com) are listed in the printed program or are announced or displayed at the show.
if you notify the author
How to Contact the Author~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~
If you find a free script you can use, please just
Donate A Dollar or Two to Jeannette Jaquish / FunAntics at this link:
Starting a Theater?Use FuNAnTiCS FREE tHeATeR SCRiPtS to earn money and get attention!
Then you can afford to buy the Low Priced Scripts for even bigger audiences!
You may charge admission. (Please do, in fact, then you can buy my not-free scripts.)
If you perform any of my plays with this requirement without notifying me, you owe me triple royalties plus collection co$t$ such as travel and attorney fees, etc!
So just notify and enjoy! Easy Rules for Using Free and Not-Free Scripts.
Fairy Tales on the Mars Frontier <--Click here!
Real science theater script by Jeannette Jaquish
(Fairy tales evolve as pioneer parents on Mars teach values and survival to their kids.)
Uses real scientific data about how humans will terra-form and colonize Mars!
Actors: 11 to 35 Actors can play multiple parts.
Length: 35 minutes. 3 small scenes within one long scene. Medium tech complexity.
Cost: FREE if you notify author, and give her proper announcement. Easy Rules for Using Free and Not-Free Scripts. Easy Rules for Free Scripts.
"Is your dome strong? Mine blew in!"
"My dome sits low below the crater. Aluminum cover like a baked potater." -- Pigs 1 & 2
"Can you stop this purple plague?"
"Stand back and be amazed!"
"I don't know about this piper."
"She is weird."
"And very hyper." -- Townspeople and The Pied Piper
"This is the dome, resistant to shock,
Built by the man who crushed the rock,
That lay on the surface of Red Mars." -- Rock Song
The Spoiled Baloney Man <--Click here!
(That cycle of life and death really stinks.)
a fractured fairy tale by Jeannette Jaquish
based on The Stinky Cheese Man - but better!
ACTORS: 3 puppets, 5 actors or more
LENGTH: 25 minutes. 1 scene. Simple-medium tech complexity
COST: FREE if you notify author, and give her proper announcement. See easy details. Easy Rules for Free Scripts.
Quotes: "Not a pretty picture, or smell, when BALONEY GOES BAD! Raised by bacteria in a cold microwave oven. Would love, color and stimulation in its childhood have made a difference?" -- Frog
If Shakespeare had Written the Theory of Relativity <--Click for script!
Shakespeare's classic lines adapted into a swashbuckling debate on relativity.
an educated farce by Thomas Jaquish
CAST: Prince Albert, Zhugaid, Arshay, and two gossipy chambermaids.
PROPS & FURNITURE: Period costumes or something close, two champagne glasses, two knives or swords for a mock battle.
LENGTH: About 25 minutes.
Easy Rules for Free Scripts.
Kiss the Brown Bunny<--Click here!
an actors & puppets script
by Jeannette Jaquish
(The flirty Cockroach bets grumpy Spike the dog that three people will kiss her in three minutes.)
<-- shown here: Folkmanis cockroach puppet.
ACTORS: 2 puppets, 3 actors
You may RENT THE PUPPETS from the author.
Length: 8 minutes. 1 scene. Very simple tech complexity.
PUPPETS:Acquiring Folkmanis cockroach puppet and Percy the Dog (from Pocohontas) is tricky. Rent them from the author. Details on script page.
Cost: FREE if you notify author, and give her proper announcement.
Easy Rules for Free Scripts.
"Cockroach: Even cockroaches have feelings and mine are hurting... Snuggle???
Spike the Dog: Get away from me you filthy insect! Go snuggle in a garbage disposal!"
The Monkey's Paw, by W. W. Jacobs <-- Click for script!
adapted for stage by Jeannette Jaquish
The classic story of wishes gone bad..
Cast: Old man, old woman, grown son or daughter, Sergeant-Major Morris, Visitor from Maw & Meggins.
Length: 18 minutes.
Tech: 4 scenes. Simple set and costumes. Some quick but simple set changes.
Cost: FREE if you notify author, and give her proper announcement. Easy Rules for Free Scripts.
Restaurante Del Diablo" <--Click here!
a Spanish & English script
by Jeannette Jaquish
Cost: FREE
Scripts alternate Spanish with English so a person speaking either language can understand, and also learn the other language.
FATHER: Waiter! You have your thumb in my soup!!!
WAITER: (wiping thumb on napkin) Me fama? Gracias, Senor, pero las sopa no es caliente. (Exits)
FATHER: Thank you but it's not hot! I don't believe it! His dirty thumb was in my soup!
SON: Esta limpia, ahora.
FATHER: Ewwww! You eat. I'm not hungry now.
SON: (spits out first taste) Bleccchh!!
FATHER: Que pasa?
SON: There is a fly in this soup!
FATHER: Una mosca en tu sopa!!! Terrible!!
WAITER (Returns, placing bill on the table): La cuenta.
WAITER: Fly in your soup??? Is that a problem? Are you a vegetarian?!
EASY PLAYS for YOUNG ACTORS<--Click here!
and Other Fairy Tale Theater Scripts and Plays
For Actors age 5 and older, or Non-readers, or Little Time to Rehearse,
or Big Actors who Just Want an Easy Script (perform kneeling with shoes on knees).
Hansel & Gretel and the Creepy Woods <--Click here!
by Jeannette Jaquish
also in FRENCH & NORWEGIAN translations
FREE - print it off from this website!
Get permission to perform just by notifying the author by email.
MORAL: Don't let your kids drive you CraaAAAzy!
CAST: Three versions: 15, 20 or 25 actors. The 15 actor version is on the website. Email to request any of the scripts to be emailed FREE.
Hansel & Gretel in the Big Woods -- In Norwegian! Click here!
Hansel & Gretel in the Big Woods -- In French! Click here!
-- Scenes from Carroll Community Theatre in Carroll, Iowa:
-- Scene from India: "Almost all of these children were neither fluent nor comfortable with English, but still they did the entire play in English and that too with an amazing confidence." --Keshav Khanna
"Your Hansel and Gretel and the Creepy Woods script is very funny, and well written - I had a difficult time finding appropriate material for our students, who are 4th and 5th graders. The lines are short and easy to memorize, and yet very entertaining. Thank you for sharing your talent! "
------Cathy Duyck, Battle Creek, Michigan, St. Joseph Elementary Drama Club coordinator, performing March 28 & 30, 2011
"I have been searching for a good play for my drama kids to perform this year and I really like the look of your Hansel and Gretel. It is quite a challenge to write scripts that appeal to both adults and children, keeping all ages entertained and humoured is what makes a good script. I really like the way you have achieved to do just that."
------Roz Glen, Hillcrest, South Africa (near Durban)
Hansel and Gretel and the Creepy Woods - Youtube Videos
-- LITTLE ORPHANT ANNIE <--Click for script
by James Whitcomb Riley
adapted for stage by Jeannette Jaquish
FREE - print it off from this website!
Get permission to perform just by notifying the author by email.
MORAL: Get kids to behave by scaring the geewhilikers out of them.
CAST: 7 children, 3 or 5 older actors.
--This is the folk poem about boogeymen, NOT Annie singing "Tomorrow! Tomorrow!" with Daddy Warbucks!
<--Image from http://www.cs4fn.org/vision/usingthedarkside.php
CHILD 1: And little Orphan Annie says, when the blaze is blue,
And the lamp wick sputters, and the wind goes woo-oo!
CHILD 2: And you hear the crickets quit, and the moon is gray,
And the lightning bugs in dew are all squenched away –
CHILD 3: You better mind your parents, and your teachers fond and dear,
And cherish those who love you, and dry the orphan's tear,
CHILD 4: And help the poor and needy ones who cluster all about,
Or the Gobble-ins will get you
CHILDREN: If You Don't Watch Out!
Easy Rules for Free Scripts.
THE WAY I REMEMBER IT <--Click for script,
a fun kids play by Jeannette Jaquish
FREE - print it off from this website!
Get permission to perform just by notifying the author by email.
MORAL: Being mean makes more meanness.
CAST: 6 or more boys and 6 or more girls, 2 more kids, an older man and woman, and maybe a mom, an optional chorus of kids, plus 1 or 2 prop assistants.
SUMMARY: Little Jamie gets Grandma and Grandpa to tell the story of how they met as children, with two very different and funny perspectives.
Image of Calvin and Suzie by Bill Waterson
Easy Rules for Free Scripts.
Are You Smarter Than a 4-H'er? (or Insert your Organization Here!)
A FREE 4H contest skit script to adapt to your organization.
CAST: 7 to 11 kids.
LENGTH: About 12 minutes.
TECH: Easy: desks, podiums (made of boxes), a flip chart.
SUMMARY A parody of the popular game show with JiffyPop Foxwabbit, Helping Hand Students, Demonstrators and Question Flippers, and a Suspicious Contestant. Can be used in 4H drama or video projects or adapted for other groups.
Short Skits & Easy Plays for Kids <--Click for skits!
comedy skits & scripts by Jeannette Jaquish
with links to those by other authors.
Cost: FREE.
Skits for 2 or more actors. 30 seconds to 10 minutes. From Easy to Medium difficulty
The Way I Remember it
Nutty Nursery Rhymes
Flight of the Vultures
Hansel & Gretel -- Kindergarten Level - Very Fun!
Dino Puppet Jokes
Cereal Killer
Before Eve met Adam
Restaurant skit
Muppet Veterinarian's Hospital
Knock-Knock Jokes - Scout Skits - Joke Skits
Funny Songs to Perform <--Click here!
by Jeannette Jaquish
with links to songs by other authors.
Some Titles:
Your Mama Don't Wear No Socks
The Hilarious Intermission Song:
"Sodas full of caffeine; Your heart pounds like a freight train,
Let's go to the lobby and have little snack..."
Gilbert and Sullivan Spoof Songs
Songs from Frog Prince and the Princess Brat
Christmas Song Parodies
Incompetech.com Royalty Free music - Good Quality and lots of styles.
If you find a free script you can use, please just
Donate $1 to Jeannette Jaquish / FunAntics at this link:
HUNDREDS of FREE Scripts, Radio Plays, TV scripts, Puppet Plays and Songs by OTHER AUTHORS <--Click here!
Many links to scripts by other authors DO NOT have a link back to this page!
So ADD FUNANTICS to your FAVORITES!
Monty Python
Saturday Night Live sketches
Abbott & Costello
Old Time Radio Scripts: Flash Gordon, Sherlock Holmes, Fibber McGee and Molly
Twilight Zone
War of the Worlds
Muppets' Veterinarian Skits, and other Puppet Plays
Classic TV and Film scripts: Sorry, Wrong Number, Duck Soup, A Christmas Carol (Scrooge) Monologues
Parody Songs
Readers Theater scripts of Folk Tales and Historical Fiction - Read or Act!
Huge Cast School Musicals, Simple or Complex
and GOBS more good scripts!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Harry Potter Plottings
Half-Blood Prince Book Review by Jeannette Jaquish ~*~ Goblet of Fire Movie Review by Jeannette Jaquish
These are misspellings of my name: Jeanette, Janette, Jenette, Jeannete, Jannete, Jennete, Janet, Janett, Jennette, Jannette Jaquish Janquish.A Muggle's Snide Observation
by Jeannette Jaquish
Harry Potter is magical soap opera,
Hormonal teens spouting abracadabra;
But magic makes it too easy,
And Rowling would certainly get queasy,
Composing a duel 'twixt a shotgun and avada kedavra;
You can PHONE ME at the number on this page.
"When Santa's Away" & "Reindeer #3 is Squeaking!"
© 2012 by Zephyr and Jeannette Jaquish
A simple, energetic and witty, play-within-a-play Christmas comedy script with a song and a few easy-to-learn lines for everyone.
-- "When Santa's Away": for 6, 8 or 9 elves age 5 and older, plus 1 adult Santa.
-- "Reindeer #3 is Squeaking!": for 12 or 15 angels, reindeer and elves age 7 and older, plus 1 adult Music Director.
LENGTH: About 15 minutes for both.
PRICE: $15 first performance, $5 additional, $35 for 1 year.
.......... Music CD: $10 includes US shipping. Click to see music tracks.
*** You can also order JUST "Reindeer #3 is Squeaking!" which needs no set.
Or order JUST "When Santa's Away" and pair it with another play or song.
Elfin Antics in Santa's Workshop <--Click for Excerpts!
Children's Christmas Musical by Rosemary Snow
COST: $10 first performance, $5 additional, or $30/year.
$23 Music CD
Free sheet music is included with the script.
LENGTH: 25 minutes
CAST: 14 plus optional dogs
ORDER ME! There is pandemonium when the reindeer make toys and the elves take flying lessons!
Santa and the Missus are in despair! And it's the polar bears to the rescue led by the Yodeling Elf! Lots of Arctic facts and a song for each "species".
or "The Almost Awful Terrible Toy Disaster in Santa's Workshop"
an easy fun short kids Holiday Christmas script by Jeannette Jaquish
LENGTH: About 18 minutes.
COST: $15 first performance, $5 additional, or $35/year.
SUMMARY In a terrible mishap all the toys the elves have worked on for a year are destroyed. Can Quigley's new invention save the day, even after it is short circuited by hot cocoa? And who can think with those noisy reindeer romping around?
In rhyme for easier memorization by small children, plus a Narrator who prompts when lines are forgotten.
CAST: Minimum: 6 kids and 4 adults.
Comfortable: 8-12 kids and 2-4 adults. Can add more kids to be reindeer and extra elves.
Characters: Santa, 4 Elves, 2 or more reindeer, Narrator (capable chid or adult), 2 Kids opening presents, 2 FX crew
TECH: Cardboard box "Dooplicator" machine", toys, table, Christmas tree, fake presents.
SETS: Santa's Workshop & a Christmas tree with presents.
About 5 minutes.
This Twelve Days of Christmas script parody is rambunctious and screamingly funny. The more outrageous and terrible the costumes are, the better. You can use one person for each of the 12 gifts or actually fill the stage with 3 French Hens, 7 Swimming Swans and 10 Lords a Leaping.
COST: $10 first performance, $5 additional, or $30/year.
Order Me!
The dopey duo of Hansel and Gretel bungle their way into the hungry Witch's clutches and boiling pot again. When Santa's elves fall off the reindeer and into the Witch's kitchen, is rescue in sight? NOT LIKELY!
The Reader can prompt actors who forget their lines and make it sound like it is part of the narration, "Gretel rolled her eyes and said, "I thought you'd have a gingerbread house." " until the actor picks up and finishes the line. The elves lines are in rhyme making for easier memorization.
CAST: 14 to 19 kids age 5 to adult- Hansel & Gretel, Father and Stepmother, Witch, 7 to 12 Dwarves, Fairy Dog and Fairy Frog and the Reader.
TECH NEEDS: The Witch's large cook pot can be a large gray storage tub spritzed with black spray paint & fake fire.
LENGTH: 25 minutes
MUSIC?: One optional song in the forest with optional forest creatures (can become elves in the next scene). You can add more music. Music file is included with script.
4 experienced actors, plus 4 groups of 4 audience volunteer children (or child actors)
LENGTH: 30 minutes
TECH: Simple. Sets can be simple or complex. Just a few easy to get or make hand props. No furniture necessary.
COST: $15 first, $5 additional=performance royalty; $20= Music CD
Order Me!
Santa is missing and St. Nicholas Day is tomorrow! Elves are panicking. They find a clue and follow it to one place after another, each time encountering characters who tell the elves their problems. The Elves figure out what they really need to solve their problems themselves. When they get back to the workshop Santa is there with a final gift solution. See Excerpts!
Lots of furniture-moving set changes, spooky lighting, simple ghostly effects, none difficult, but busy and quick. Forestage scenes and scenes in the audience continue the story and cover set changes.
CAST: 32 or more. Casting Chart & Rehearsal Groupings guide you in assigning multiple parts to each actor besides Scrooge -- there are 132 characters! Order Me!
This "A Christmas Carol" play is the classic Scrooge, Bob Cratchit, Marley & Tiny Tim mega-production. Lots of newly created lines and short scenes for supporting roles such as street urchins, storekeeper, Nephew Fred's friends, beggars, bankers, serving wench & mop boy and schoolkids! Everyone has great lines and distinct personalities!
This is a GREAT "A Christmas Carol" script!
URCHIN: I don't like singin' for the undertaker. He just stands there. Staring.
LITTLEST: And rubbin' his hands.
SNIFFLY: That's because he gets 2 quid for every pauper he buries.
LEADER: Yeah, we's just a pot o' gold he's waiting to lay hands on.
BANDAGE: So who ARE we gonna sing for?
LITTLEST: How about Mr. Scrooge?
Dr. Ron Paul - Re-founder of the Constitution - videoGovernment is not wisdom; it is not eloquence; it is force. And force, like fire, is a dangerous servant and a fearful master." -- George Washington
How to Contact the Author Email:This website (c) Jeannette Jaquish 1999-2013
~ * ~ Click to ORDER A SCRIPT! ~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~
1/4 to 1/30 the royalty price of Samuel French Theater Scripts, Playscripts.com or Pioneer Drama scripts!
Wizard of Oz ~ Twilight Zone's It's a GOOD Life! ~ Harry Potter Parody ~ The Frog Prince ~ The Spoiled Baloney Man ~ 12 Dancing Princesses ~ and LOTS more!
I write witty scripts with great lines for every actor. Low priced so you can make a profit!
1. Scroll down this list of scripts. Click on "Excerpts" or "Video Clips".
2. Call or email Jeannette: Questions? Perusal script? Need changes or a custom script?
3. Click on "Order Me", follow the instructions, choose "Mail a check" or "PayPal" to process your credit card.
4. Within 8 hours or the next day by 9am EST, I will email you your script. Telephone me to get it sooner. 5. Only prices on this homepage and the order form are binding. I try to update but sometimes I miss a page.
Ecstatic Theatrics in Fort Wayne, IN
Firehouse Theater in Fort Wayne, IN
Shoestring Theater of Fort Wayne, Indiana
GIANT PUPPETS -- how to make them! So Cool! By PuppetCo.
Build a Puppet Theater or order for $. Dismantles easily! By Gene Powell.
Dad's Home School - Science & Math Explained
FIND A SCRIPT: Stageplays.com locates all plays published in English. (Hint: go to the publisher listed and order from them. It's cheaper.)
Horse Costume Instructions
LONG list of theater scripts and resources.
JOKES to tell or act out.
Guinea Pig Skin Disease! Use Bag Balm or Vaseline to cure itchy, dandruffy, mange caused by mites.
Hoosier Outer Space Settlers (HOSS)
Bed-wetting is NOT caused by Laziness! Cure urinary tract infections with cranberry.
Stuttering: A Simple Semi-Cure: Take a Breath
Funny Fillers to put in theater printed program or on bulletin boards
Rejects from the NPR 3 minute fiction contest
Theater Exercise/Game: Emotional Rollercoaster
Free Downloadable Sound FX ilovewavs.com
Raven Radio and Readers Theater Scripts with tech on sound FX & downloadable scripts.


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In order to help get enough vegetable portions, I keep Campbell's tomato juice around. Although it's not as healthy as the real thing, it's easy to buy and consume.
Cut out all whites from my diet. Example replaced white flour with almond or coconut flour. No white rice , bread. Organic cheese, milk, fruits and meats. No cold cereal only steel cut oats. No can soup,vegetables or fruit. I feel great and have lost 45 pounds in 5 months. I'm never hungry.
If you hang around people who exercise regularly and eat in healthy ways, you are absolutely going to succeed in becoming a healthy YOU.104
Eat Something healthy low in calories before going out to eat, or to a party.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
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Unique opera collaboration warms up February
By Beth Stafford on February 11, 2014
Ravel's "L'enfant et les sortileges" iwill be brought to life by an army of singers, an orchestra and…puppets.
The Science Guy comes to UWM
By Kimberly J. Willems on February 11, 2014
Bill Nye (the Science Guy) drew a full house to the Wisconsin Room in the UWM Union on Monday, Feb. 10.


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Ophthalmology Fellowship Program
Please note that ophthalmology fellowships are not ACGME approved fellowships, unlike our residency program. Cornea, Glaucoma, Moran International, Neuro-Ophthalmology and Retina Fellowships are post residency faculty appointed (visiting instructors) credentialed positions. Residencies must have been completed in the United States. Since a major portion of our fellowship training occurs at the Veteran's Administrative Medical Center which is federally funded, we can only hire U.S. citizens for these paid positions.
If you are interested in observational-only fellowships for foreign graduates, please contact Emily Olsen in our International Division at firstname.lastname@example.com or 801-213-4132.
Cornea/Refractive Surgery Fellowship Program
The major emphasis for this fellowship is on the medical and surgical treatment of cornea and external diseases, as well as extensive experience in LASIK and other refractive surgery. The fellow works closely with Mark D. Mifflin, M.D., Fellowship Program Director and Amy Lin, MD. A significant number of anterior surgical cases are performed.
Glaucoma Fellowship Program
This fellowship provides a very busy clinical exposure to all aspects of glaucoma with a heavy emphasis on surgical treatment. A large number of glaucoma procedures as well as phacoemulsification will be part of this surgical experience. The fellow will work closely with Alan S. Crandall, M.D., Professor; Norm A. Zabriskie, M.D., Associate Professor; and Craig Chaya, M.D., Assistant Professor. Teaching responsibilities as well as clinical research are part of this fellowship.
Moran International Fellowship Program
Thank you for your interest in the newly developed Moran International fellowship. Please note this is a 2nd year fellowship, meaning a prior year in a United States program in Cornea, Glaucoma, or Retina fellowship training must proceed this fellowship. The fellow will spend approximately six to eight months of the twelve-month fellowship working in the developing world teaching clinical and surgical aspects of ophthalmology. The balance will be spent at the Moran Eye Center. The fellow will have the opportunity to work overseas in a variety of countries and settings. Past fellowship experiences have included periods in Nepal, Haiti, Ghana, and India. Future opportunities may include these or other countries such as Kenya, Malaysia, Vietnam, or Ethiopia. Networking with overseas organizations including Himalayan Cataract Project, ORBIS, Tissue Bank International, and other international eye banks is strongly encouraged. The goal of this fellowship will be to encourage independence and ability to work in different contexts as well as to build a global network with key individuals in foreign governments, NGOs, hospitals, and service organizations. Clinical and surgical practice during these periods will have a large degree of independence.
As with all of ophthalmology fellowships, the Moran International Fellowship is NOT a PGY5 ACGME accredited fellowship position as is our residency program. We hire fellows as limited term faculty appointed physicians who must be credentialed at our affiliated hospitals, therefore, only United States citizens who have completed USMLE exams in the United States and/or completed their residency training in the U.S. are eligible. Due to our affiliation with the Veterans Affairs Medical Center, we can only hire US citizens.
If you are interested in observational-only fellowships for foreign graduates, please contact Emily Olsen in our Global Outreach Division at firstname.lastname@example.com or 801-213-3444.
Neuro-Ophthalmology Fellowship Program
This program provides a very busy clinical exposure to all aspects of Neuro-Ophthalmology with an emphasis on diagnosis and treatment of neuro-ophthalmic disorders. The fellow will also be expected to participate in clinically related research as well as have teaching responsibilities. The fellow works with Kathleen Digre, M.D., Professor; Judith Warner, M.D., Professor; Bradley Katz, M.D., Ph.D., Associate Professor and Alison Crum, M.D., Assistant Professor.
Retina Fellowship Program
This two-year retina fellowship offers the chance to work with five full-time retina faculty: Paul Bernstein, M.D., Ph.D. Professor; Michael Teske, M.D. Associate Professor; Mary Elizabeth Hartnett, M.D. Professor; Rachel Jacoby, M.D. Associate Professor; Akbar Shakoor, M.D. and Albert Vitale, M.D., Professor. They will provide extensive hands-on training in adult and pediatric vitreo-retinal surgery, medical retina, and posterior uveitis at three busy teaching hospitals (Moran Eye Center, Salt Lake City Veterans Affairs Medical Center, and Primary Children's Medical Center).
For more information, please contact the Department of Ophthalmology and Visual Sciences Academic Office at 801.585.6701.The University of Utah School of Medicine does not discriminate on the basis of gender, gender identity/expression, sexual orientation, race, age, religion, color, national origin, disability, genetic information, or veteran's status.
In accordance with the requirements of The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) and Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973, as amended, (Section 504), the University of Utah provides reasonable accommodations to qualified individuals with disabilities so that they may fully participate in its academic programs, employment opportunities, medical services, programs, and events.


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Architect Zaha Hadid has designed a leather bag for fashion house Fendi, part of a collection of creations by famous UK-based women to be auctioned for charity. More »
Tag: Fendi
Zaha Hadid designs layered
Transformations by Maarten de Ceulaer
for Fendi
Design Miami: Belgian designer Maarten de Ceulaer nailed bendy leather planks onto solid wood to create this installation of stripy furniture for Italian fashion house Fendi (+ slideshow). More »
Craftica by Formafantasma
Italian designers Formafantasma have completed a series of objects using various types of discarded leather, including the skin of pigs, fish and cork trees. More »
Modern Primitives by Aranda\Lasch
Venice Architecture Biennale 2010: New York studio Aranda\Lasch have installed a collection of seating that's made up of foam pyramids at the Venice Architecture Biennale. More »
Dezeen at Design Miami
Design Miami 08: Dezeen has teamed up with Design Miami and Fendi to present a series of live chat shows with leading international designers in Miami next week. More »
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Ronnie Wood shatters the 'sex, drugs and rock'n'roll' image of 'The Rolling Stone'
Ronnie Wood wrecked the 'sex, drugs and rock'n'roll' image of the renowned band 'The Rolling Stones' with his recent revelation that the band members spent much of their backstage time watching murder mysteries.
The 67-year-old guitarist told A UK publication that the members, who recently resumed their record breaking sell-out world tour, had watched 19 murder mysteries in a row, the most recent one being 'Above Suspicion', the Daily Star reported.
He further added that he loves to spend time solving jigsaw puzzles as he considers them to be "good for the brain."
(Posted on 22-07-2014)
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Friday, December 23, 2005
© Copyright 2015 Gwinnett Daily Post
One of Broadway's hottest shows is set to come to Atlanta - in 2007. "Monty Python's Spamalot," which won the 2005 Tony Award for best musical, will be performed Feb. 20 through March 4, 2007, at the Fox Theatre."Spamalot" also won the 2005 Tony Award for best director. The production opened on March 17 on Broadway. Tickets for it continue to sell out in New York. The show is based on the movie "Monty Python and the Holy Grail." It follows King Arthur's Knights of the Round Table and includes a chorus line of divas and knights, as well as killer rabbits. The 2007 two-week engagement of "Spamalot" at the Fox Theatre is a joint production of Broadway in Atlanta and Theater of the Stars. The show will be part of both group's subscription seasons. Ticket information has not yet been announced. For more information about Theater of the Stars, call 404-252-8960 or visit www.theaterofthestars.com. For information about Broadway in Atlanta, call 1-800-278-4447 or visit www.BroadwayAcrossAmerica.com. Aurora offers three-show season tickets There are three shows left in the Aurora Theatre's current season, which will be the group's last in its Duluth performance space. The Aurora plans to move to downtown Lawrenceville in November 2006. The group is now offering season tickets for its remaining three shows. Next fall, season ticket holders for 2005-2006 will get the first choice for seating in the Aurora's new theater. From Jan. 19 through Feb. 12, the classic thriller "Wait Until Dark" will be performed. From March 2-26, "A Year With Frog and Toad" will be presented. The Aurora will close its season with a Broadway favorite. "Guys and Dolls" will be performed from April 27 through May 28. An Anytime Flexpass Mini, which includes one ticket for each of the remaining shows, is $49.95. A Saturday Matinee Mini pass, which includes a ticket to any Saturday matinee performance of the three shows, is $29.95. Call 770-476-7926 or visit www.auroratheatre.com. New London holds auditions If you're interested in taking up acting in 2006, find a few minutes to rehearse during the holidays. Then start auditioning for roles in shows throughout the community. New London Theatre will hold auditions for "Twelve Dancing Princesses" on Jan. 3 and 4. The auditions will take place from 6:30 to 8 p.m. at South Gwinnett High School, 2288 E. Main St. in Snellville. Callback auditions will be held at 7 p.m. on Jan. 5. "Twelve Dancing Princesses" will be performed Feb. 17-19. The play, an adaptation of the Grimm Brothers fairy tale, is about 12 princesses who dance in secret every night. They are driving their father, the king, crazy. The king makes an offer to the kingdom. Any man who can figure out where the princesses go each night may choose one of them to marry. Actors between the ages of 12 and 18 will be chosen to play the princesses. Roles are also available for the king, two servants, a young man and a mysterious old woman. Those auditioning for the show must prepare a monologue from the New London Theatre's Web site. Those trying out for the 12 princess roles should be prepared to sing along to a CD. Audition monologues and details can be found on the New London Theatre Web site at www.newlondontheatre.org. Call 770-979-3691.
More like this story
- INSIDE THE PERIMETER: Tony-Award-winning 'Spamalot' returns to Fox ( June 2, 2011 )
- INSIDE THE PERIMETER: Tony-Award-winning 'Spamalot' returns to Fox ( June 2, 2011 )
- People Briefs ( October 5, 2005 )
- Monster Mash Bash comes to the Aurora ( October 28, 2005 )
- Movie event to aid food bank ( October 16, 2009 )


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Thursday, November 8, 2012
© Copyright 2015 Newton Citizen
COVINGTON -- Opportunities abound locally to honor the sacrifice of veterans and commemorate Veterans Day.
Veterans Day falls on Sunday, but some ceremonies will be held on Monday, the federal holiday.
American Legion Post 32 in Covington will host its annual ceremony on Monday at 11 a.m. on the Square downtown. The keynote speaker will be Dr. Douglas Gilreath, senior pastor of Covington First United Methodist Church, whose father is a veteran.
"He's such a wonderful speaker. I'm excited about hearing him. He will probably touch on the responsibilities of citizenship and how veterans contribute to our freedom," said Post Commander Don Floyd.
The ceremony will include the posting of the colors by the Junior ROTC of Newton High School, the laying of the wreath and singing of the National Anthem.
Floyd said the purpose of Veterans Day is to recognize veterans and current military personnel who "give so much of their lives to ensure we have the right to live as we do in the United States, and it's very important that these people are remembered."
American Legion Post 77 in Conyers will host a Veterans Day program at 11 a.m. Sunday, followed by a light lunch. The post is located at 674 Legion Road.
The Covington/Conyers Community Orchestra will present a fall concert at 7 p.m. on Sunday, Nov. 11. The orchestra will play for the first time in the Salem High School Auditorium in Rockdale County. The program will include patriotic and seasonal favorites and a salute to American music.
Admission is free. In its 12th season, the orchestra is directed by Arlene H. Woods, who is also band director at Peachtree Academy.
Peachtree Academy in Covington will host a Veterans Day Service at 9 a.m. Monday in the new high school gym. The school is located at 14101 U.S. Hwy. 278. The event is open to the general public, said the school's principal, Dr. Joe Hutcheson.
"Our goal was to provide a community-wide Veterans Day remembrance service," he said, noting that the ceremony will be indoors and will last about 30 minutes. The mayor of Covington and other dignitaries will participate, and the ceremony will include a speech from an active duty member of the military, posting of the colors and recognition of all veterans and active duty personnel in attendance. "We wanted to educate our students on the importance of remembering the ultimate sacrifice so many veterans have made for our freedom," Hutcheson said.
Several public schools also have special ceremonies planned Monday for Veterans Day.
Newton High School's Junior ROTC students are presenting colors at Mansfield Elementary School at 8 a.m., and afterwards, first- and fifth-grade students will present a history lesson and poem. Students also will put flags on veterans grave sites at Carmel Cemetery near the elementary school.
More than 50 veterans plan to attend the event, which also includes a special breakfast that begins at 7:30 a.m.
Cousins Middle School also will hold its annual ceremony about 9 a.m. The Cousins band will play "Taps" and the chorus will sing a special song.
Throughout the day at Cousins, students, teachers, parents and special guests will read aloud the names of current and past service personnel who are linked to faculty and staff members and students. In the school's foyer will be a display wall with the names of the soldiers currently serving or those who have served in any branch of service. Classes will take turns viewing the wall and hearing the names being read.
Citizens are also asked to be on the lookout for volunteers with American Legion and VFW posts in both counties, who will be handing out poppies at local stores over the weekend in exchange for a donation. The poppies are crafted by disabled veterans.
"All the money we collect has to be kept in a separate account and spent either on veterans causes or children and youth and 25 percent is sent to the Department of Georgia to pay veterans to make them," said Marcia Floyd with the American Legion Post 32 Auxiliary in Covington, whose will be handing out poppies at Walmart and Kmart in Covington from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Saturday, she said.
Georgia resident and University of Georgia professor Moina Michael is credited with developing the idea for the memorial poppies after reading a poem by Canadian John McCrae "In Flanders Fields," which states "In Flanders fields the poppies blow / Between the crosses row on row." Michael is buried in Monroe.
Staff Reporter Michelle Floyd also contributed to this article.
More like this story
- Veterans Day ceremony set for Friday ( November 8, 2011 )
- Services planned to honor vets ( May 26, 2010 )
- Memorial Day events taking place in Covington, Conyers ( May 20, 2013 )
- Poppy Day on its way ( November 2, 2009 )
- American Legions hosting Memorial Day events ( May 24, 2012 )


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How To: Make a DIY Modern Wooden Christmas Tree Set
Things are starting to get real festive around these parts! If you're looking for some fun tabletop trees that lean a bit towards the modern side, I've got just the project for you! These wooden trees are super easy to make and can be left plain or customized to your heart's content. Check 'em out!
- (1) 6x36" sheet of Balsa wood
- tree templates (create and print out a big triangle and a little triangle)
- acrylic craft paint -- OR -- craft glue and glitter
- foam paint brush
- painter's tape
- self-healing cutting mat
- ruler
- craft knife
1. Line the tree template up with the bottom of your sheet of Balsa wood. With a ruler and craft knife, carefully cut out your tree. Repeat and cut out a second tree triangle.
2. Measure and mark the center of your trees. I marked mine just by poking it with the craft knife, so I wouldn't leave any visible pencil or pen marks.
3. From the center point, cut out and remove a piece from the bottom of one tree and the top of the other. You will want it to be as wide as your Balsa wood is thick i.e. my sheet of Balsa wood is 1/8" thick, so that's how wide I made my slice. Save the little scraps, as you'll use them later.
4. If you're not painting your trees, you're done! Simply slide the two halves together to assemble. If you want to add a little more "oomph" to your trees, read on...
5. Tape off your desired design.
6. Brush on your paint (or clear craft glue if you're going to be adding glitter -- once applied, sprinkle on the sparkly stuff). Repeat steps 5 and 6 on the other side.
7. Remove the tape and rest your freshly painted trees on those little scrap pieces for drying. Repeat steps 1-7 for each tree you want to make.
8. Once dry, assemble your trees by sliding the grooves together. And that's it! You're done!
Happy holidays!
Here's a glitter one just for kicks. OooOOoh, SPARKLY!!
[Artwork by Kate Banazi]
Looking for more seasonal DIY projects and ideas?
Tagged : centerpiece, Christmas, christmas tree, Curbly-Original, decor, geometric, Holiday, How-To, Inspiration, modern, tree, tabletop tree
Design Style : contemporary, eclectic, mid-century modern, minimalist, scandanavian
Techniques : crafting, Painting, woodworking
Decor Element : accessories


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Cleveland Cavaliers v Portland Trail Blazers
Palabras clave
Luke Walton of the Cleveland Cavaliers shoots against Jared Jeffries... Fotografía de noticiasBaloncesto,Basket-ball - NBA Pro,Cleveland Cavaliers,Deporte,EE.UU.,Encestar,Jared Jeffries,Lanzar la pelota,Luke Walton,Moda Center Arena,Portland - Oregón,Portland Trail Blazers,VerticalPhotographer Cameron BrowneCollection: National Basketball Association 2013 NBAEPORTLAND, OR - JANUARY 16: Luke Walton #4 of the Cleveland Cavaliers shoots against Jared Jeffries #1 of the Portland Trail Blazers on January 16, 2013 at the Rose Garden Arena in Portland, Oregon. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, user is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. Mandatory Copyright Notice: Copyright 2013 NBAE (Photo by Cameron Browne/NBAE via Getty Images)


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- 800.878.7323
More copies of this ISBN
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Ten Little Indiansby Sherman Alexie
Synopses & Reviews
Publisher Comments:
Sherman Alexie is one of today's most captivating and popular writers — The Nation has called him "a master of language, writing beautifully, unsparingly, and straight to the heart." Now, with Ten Little Indians, he offers nine poignant and emotionally resonant new stories about Native Americans who, like all Americans, find themselves at personal and cultural crossroads, faced with heart-rending, tragic, sometimes wondrous moments of being that test their loyalties, their capacities, and their notions of who they are and who they love.
What kind of Indian loses her mind over a book of poems? Well, Corliss was that kind of Indian, she was exactly that kind of Indian, and it was the only kind of Indian she knew how to be. In Alexie's first story, "The Search Engine," Corliss is a rugged and resourceful student who finds in books the magic she was denied while growing up poor. When she discovers the poetry of a fellow Native who vanished thirty years earlier after winning the Pulitzer Prize, she makes it her mission to find him. Although he does not prove to be the man Corliss needs him to be, his devastating story will help her in her own struggle to belong. In "The Life and Times of Estelle Walks Above," an intellectual feminist Spokane Indian woman saves the lives of dozens of white women all around her to the bewilderment of her only child, now a grown man who looks back at his life with equal parts fondness, amusement, and regret. In "Do You Know Where I Am?" two college sweethearts rescue a lost cat — a simple act that will affect the rest of their lives together. Finally, "What You Pawn I Will Redeem" starts off with a homeless man recognizing in a pawnshop window the fancydance regalia that was stolen fifty years earlier from his late grandmother. As he tries to raise $1,000 in twenty-four hours to buy back the outfit, the narrator's misadventure combines bittersweet wit and touching earnestness as only this author can.
Even as they often make us laugh, Sherman Alexie's stories are driven by a haunting lyricism and naked candor that cut to the heart of the human experience, shedding brilliant light on what happens when we grow into and out of ourselves, and each other. Ten Little Indians is a great new work from one of today's most original and highly regarded writers of fiction.
"A slam dunk collection sure to score with readers everywhere....Fluent, exuberant and supremely confident, this outstanding collection shows Alexie at the height of his powers." Publishers Weekly (Starred Review)
"Comedy, pathos, heartfelt characterizations, and agendas transformed into thoughtful narratives: Alexie's strongest book in years." Kirkus Reviews (Starred review)
"A funny, irreverent, sardonic but sentimental, rebellious voice....Alexie is the bad boy...mocking, self-mocking, unpredictable, unassimilable, reminding us of the young Philip Roth." Joyce Carol Oates, The New York Review of Books
"The world's first fast-talking, wisecracking, mediagenic American Indian superstar....There is an anger in Sherman Alexie's work that hasn't been seen since James Baldwin..." Bruce Barcott, Men?s Journal
"Alexie reveals himself to be a more fearless writer than one might ever have imagined; the stories are bold, uncensored, raucous, and sexy....[E]ven the most culturally sheltered reader is transported." Ken Foster, San Francisco Chronicle Book Review
"Stunning...Alexie's prose contains the reverberations and human noise of the best Raymond Carver stories....Although Alexie's stories may taste like grief, they read like heaven." Mark Luce, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
"My favorite kind of fiction is the kind that manages to be simultaneously smart, funny and sad....Sherman Alexie has produced nine stories of just this sort. Each has moments of wisdom. Each has moments of hilarity. Each carries us through moments of sadness." Karen Joy Fowler, The Washington Post
"The stories sometimes feel loose and ragged, but Alexie has the ability (and heart) to make even a brief, patchy sketch of a few choice moments resonate and move the reader. Recommended." Library Journal
"That Alexie writes not just well but astonishingly well at this rate makes one wonder if he's not some sort of Indian Charles Dickens....This book captures a few of [his] voices. Listen carefully. They've got stories to tell." John Freeman, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
"Three of the nine stories in Ten Little Indians are wonderful, which is as good a batting average as any writer can hope for....As good as his stories can be, they run the risk of staleness." Eric Weinberger, The New York Times Book Review
Alexie is one of the most acclaimed and popular writers today. Now, with Ten Little Indians, he offers 11 poignant and emotionally resonant new stories about Native Americans who, like all Americans, find themselves at personal and cultural crossroads.
About the Author
Alexie, who resides with his wife and two sons in Seattle, WA, has published 14 books to date, including his most recent collection of short stories, The Toughest Indian in the World, and his newly released poetry collection, One Stick Song.
Table of Contents
The Search Engine 6
Lawyer's League 66
Can I Get a Witness? 84
Do Not Go Gentle 100
Flight Patterns 106
The Life and Times of Estelle Walks Above 129
Do You Know Where I Am? 156
What You Pawn I Will Redeem 175
What Ever Happened to Frank Snake Church? 201
What Our Readers Are Saying
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Volume 4 provides another heaping helping of inspiration. This volume serves up the design inspiration you crave to keep your work fresh and current.Read More
The Mobile Web Designer's Idea Book which will look at trends, styles, themes and patterns in mobile web design. With a huge focus on responsive design.Read more
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Many of you may not realize that not only have I written the books in The Web Designer's Idea Book series, I am also the original creator of DesignMeltdown.com. In fact, Design Meltdown was the inspiration for my book series. … Continue reading
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Ensure maximum video output with the Cables To Go Velocity Mini-Coax Cable. This excellent RF cable comes with an f-type output that connects to any cable box, VCR, or TV with a matching f-type input jack. It has a super-thin design that can be placed neatly between the carpet and baseboard. Plus, its braided shielding ensures clear and vivid picture quality while protecting against unwanted noise and interference. Purchase the Cables To Go Velocity Mini-Coax Cable right now!
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Viewing convention Program information from 2006
Session Details
Friday, 29 December
533. Cash Bar, Reception, and Dinner Arranged by the Keats-Shelley Association of America
Cash bar and reception at 5:15 p.m. on the Arden-Mellon balcony, dinner at 7:00 p.m. in the Petite Ballroom, Ritz-Carlton Hotel
Annual awards dinner, honoring Nora Crook and Michael Scriveneras, distinguished scholars. For reservations, send $60.00 to Stuart Curran by 15 Dec.
No comments have been posted for this session.
|© 2015 Modern Language Association.


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Fall sports teams across the area began practice on Wednesday.
For some, it's a time to start fresh after graduating key contributors. For others, it's a chance to continue the growing process with a young group of student-athletes. For all, it's a chance to embrace the challenge of putting together a winning season.
For more photos of Wednesday's fall sports practices, click here.
Here's a list of five teams to watch as the fall sports season progresses:
1. Grand Haven volleyball — The Buccaneers are coming off the most successful state tournament run in the illustrious history of the program. Grand Haven reached the Class A state semifinals in 2012. Repeating as district and regional champions won't be easy, especially with the graduation of Abby Cole, the program's all-time leader in kills and blocks. Cole is now competing for playing time on the University of Michigan's women's volleyball squad.
But the cupboard is far from bare for coach Aaron Smaka. He has the good fortune of welcoming back a pair of all-state performers in setter Jami Hogeboom and middle hitter Krysteena Davis. Davis has committed to play volleyball at Oakland University, while Hogeboom has pledged her services to Northern Michigan.
2. Spring Lake girls cross country — The Lakers turned in a dazzling performance at the Division 2 state meet last fall, placing second behind Forest Hills Eastern. Like Grand Haven volleyball, the Lakers' cross country team also loses an icon of the program in Brittany Beeler. Fortunately for coach Aaron Andres, Beeler was the lone senior in the Lakers' top seven at the state meet. Leading the way is junior Carlyn Arteaga, who rewrote the Lakers' record books during this past track and field season. She'll be joined near the top of the Lakers' pack by seniors Jamie Kossuth and Ashley Warner, junior Lacie Piekarski and sophomores Erin O'Keefe and Brooke Carrier.
3. Fruitport volleyball — The Trojans are no stranger to success. They've claimed Class B state championships in 2005, 2010 and 2011, and lost in the state finals four other years since 2001. Last year, Fruitport's tournament run came to an early end, but that can in part be contributed to moving up into Class A for the 2012-13 school year. This fall, Fruitport is back in Class B, and with a roster that graduated just three players. Count on coach Nicole Bayle to have her team primed for a deeper run into the state tournament this year.
4. Grand Haven girls cross country — Like the Lakers, Grand Haven also had a fantastic fall on the trails last year, capped off by a ninth-place finish at the Division 1 state meet. And like the Lakers, the Bucs lose just one runner out of their top seven finishers at the state meet in Lindy Vallier. Back to lead the way are seniors Roxy Glasser, Claire Borchers, Mikayla Rowden and Mikayla Takas, as well as sophomores Malea Teerman and Hannah Kenney. That group, plus plenty of other solid runners, will give coach Scott Przystas plenty to work with as he puts together his lineups this fall.
5. Spring Lake boys tennis — You know a team has enjoyed more than its fair share of success when a top-10 finish at the Division 3 state meet hardly raises eyebrows. But that's the case with the Lakers' boys tennis team, which had won 10 consecutive conference championships before finishing runner-up to Ludington last year. Still, Spring Lake pulled it all together at the regional meet and placed second behind Petoskey. At the state finals, the Lakers tied for 10th with six points. There will be a different feel to the program this fall after the retirement of Charlie Bassett, who coached the Lakers for 42 years. One thing won't change, however, and that's the player sitting atop the lineup for Spring Lake. Senior Ryan Fedewa has been a fixture at No. 1 singles since his freshman year.


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Android users: Download the new Local 6 app
Published On: Dec 24 2013 03:07:51 AM EST Updated On: Aug 14 2013 03:42:11 PM EDT
Android users: Please download the free, new Local 6 app in the Google Play store.
We've upgraded our app to be faster and easier. Our old Android news app will stop working tomorrow.
Click here to download the new Local 6 app, or you can search "WKMG" in Google Play.
iPhone and iPad users: Your Local 6 app should have already received an automatic update. If not, please go to the Apple store and download it today.


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Maryland Court Denies Parties' Motions to Dismiss Expert Testimony
In Pulse Medical Instruments, Inc., v. Drug Impairment Detection Services, LLC, the U.S. District Court for the District of Maryland (J. Chasanow) denied each party's separate motion to exclude the other party's expert's testimony. In doing so, the Court found the following types of evidence to be admissible under Federal Rule of Evidence 702:
(1) An expert's reference to and analysis of the reasonable royalty factors articulated in Georgia-Pacific. Such analysis is "far from being testimony regarding pure questions of law," the Court wrote, and can assist a trier of fact regarding damages issues.
(2) An expert's analysis of a reasonable royalty based on a "hypothetical negotiation." Whether characterized as applying the Georgia-Pacific factors or imagining conducting a hypothetical negotiation, the process, the Court wrote, is one and the same. Courts have accepted this process as falling within the bailiwick of damages experts as a tool of the trade. No separate showing of an expert's expertise in negotiations is needed.
Additionally, the Court noted that Rule 702 allows a witness to be qualified to testify as an expert based on a variety of different methods, but there is no requirement that experts share identical backgrounds to be able to opine about the same subject matter, or to criticize the other expert's opinion.
The Court reached the above conclusions after considering F.R.E. Rule 702. In patent cases, the district court has "a special obligation to 'ensure that any and all scientific testimony. . .is not only relevant, but reliable.'" Kumho Tire Co. v. Carmichael, 526 U.S. 137 (1999). The Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals has explained Rule 702 as follows:
The first prong of this inquiry necessitates an examination of whether the reasoning or methodology underlying the expert's proffered opinion is reliable--that is, whether it is suppported by adequate validation to render it trustworthy. See [Daubert, 509 U.S.] at 590 n.9, 113 S.Ct. 2786. The second prong of the inquiry requires an analysis of whether the opinion is relevant to the facts at issue. See id. at 591-92, 113 S.Ct. 2786.
To be considered reliable, the Court wrote, an expert opinion "must be based on scientific, technical, or other specialized knowledge and not on belief or speculation, and inferences must be derived using scientific or other valid methods." In the case at hand, the Court rejected the parties' motions based on the above standard.


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Anselm Kiefer
Anselm Kiefer (born March 8, 1945) is a German painter and sculptor. He studied with Joseph Beuys during the 1970s. His works incorporate materials like straw, ash, clay, lead and shellac. His body of work argues with the past and addresses taboo and controversial issues from recent history, such as themes from Nazi rule.
|This artist article is a stub. You can help Wikiquote by expanding it.
- When knowledge becomes rigid, it stops living.
- Heaven and Earth, Page 167 [1]
- What interests me is the transformation, not the monument. I don't construct ruins, but I feel ruins are moments when things show themselves. A ruin is not a catastrophe. It is the moment when things can start again.
- Quoted in Huffington Post


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- Melissa Arnot
- Alex Barber
- Bridget Belliveau
- Jake Beren
- Zeb Blais
- Katrina Bloemsma
- Megan Budge
- Lance Colley
- Sean Collon
- Leon Davis
- Elias de Andres Martos
- Pepper Dee
- James Easley
- Chris Ebeling
- Mark Falender
- Leah Fisher
- Lindsay Fixmer
- Eric Frank
- Steve Gately
- JM Gorum
- Casey Grom
- Billy Haas
- Dave Hahn
- Walter Hailes
- Mike Haugen
- Andy Hildebrand
- Joe Horiskey
- Nick Hunt
- Tyler Jones
- JJ Justman
- Andrew Kiefer
- Mike King
- Adam Knoff
- Caleb Ladue
- Ben Liken
- Josh Maggard
- Paul Maier
- Linden Mallory
- Lindsay Mann
- Jeff Martin
- Jess Matthews
- Bryan Mazaika
- Hannah McGowan
- Stoney Molina
- Chase Nelson
- Billy Nugent
- Brent Okita
- Sid Pattison
- Tyler Reid
- Kel Rossiter
- Geoff Schellens
- Hannah Smith
- Mike Soucy
- Garrett Stevens
- Sarah Strattan
- Mark Tucker
- Mike Uchal
- Pete Van Deventer
- Alex Van Steen
- Ed Viesturs
- Christina von Mertens
- Blake Votilla
- Mike Walter
- Seth Waterfall
- Solveig Waterfall
- Peter Whittaker
- Win Whittaker
- Robby Young
Cyclone Slams Everest, Team Evacuates Basecamp
Posted by: | May 27, 2009
Categories: *Expedition Dispatches *Everest
Elevation: 11,296 ft.
The cyclone pushed us out of Everest Basecamp. Early yesterday morning, it tried to crush us in our tents. Heavy, wet snow was falling at the rate of perhaps three inches per hour. Everything was getting buried fast… tents, yaks, climbing gear. It was tough to tell just how much accumulation there was since the ground is so uneven to begin with at BC, but it was common to be thigh deep while attempting to get from one tent to another. We'd eaten breakfast in our comfy dining tent, insulated from the storm, when Lam Babu suggested (politely) that we think of leaving. It was becoming impossible to maintain the camp in the continuing storm and it didn't seem farfetched that we'd soon reach a depth of snow in which we could no longer walk to escape down-valley.
Each team member went back to his or her soggy tent for a rushed packing effort. It definitely wasn't an optimal way for leaving the mountain. Ideally one would like to have everything dry before it gets stuffed and duffled for a trip to Kathmandu. Ideally, it would be great to be standing over an expanse of spread-out gear so as to figure what will be needed on the trek out and what won't be needed until Kathmandu. Ideally, one would know that the bags were going to get yakked out in the next couple of days… enabling one to make onward travel plans that included said gear. Except… there wasn't time, space or heat for anything like "ideally". We hunched over in damp tents, pushing damp gear into damp duffle bags and we weren't so sure when we'd see them again because the last yaks we'd seen fleeing basecamp were in snow up to their horns.
It made good sense to leave anyway, but we determined to do it as a team and to make noon the exit hour. A skeleton crew of Sherpas would remain at the gear dump formally known as Basecamp. At the appointed hour, Seth, Melissa, Kent, Cherie, Jake, Erica, John, Tom, Gerry, Lam Babu, Kaji and a handful of others (it was tough to see who was who with all the matching jackets, hats and goggles in heavily falling snow) followed my lead out of camp. The escape trail was surprisingly well-packed by people and packless animals in the preceding hours. I looked back often through the storm to make sure all were safely in the parade behind me, and I tried not to stop. We meant to go five hours down to Pheriche, but that depended on everybody staying strong and not rolling an ankle or knee in the powder.
It all went fine as we trudged down through the landmark villages of our long-ago trek in; Gorak Shep, Lobuche, Thukla… and finally Pheriche… all in much whiter condition than we'd seen them seven weeks ago. In Pheriche, we walked out of the storm to experience the novel INDOOR comfort of Nuru's Himalayan Hotel. Long forgotten appetites came back, coughs mellowed in the marvelously humid air, and real sleep was had by all… 14,000 ft sleep, not the 17,500 ft version that we'd been calling sleep for so long.
And today dawned without much sign of the cyclone. The sky was blue again and the mountains were white again. We hit the trail and within a short time we were actually out of the snow and onto the dirt. Then there were trees… then green trees. And next there were flowers… and flowers in trees. The rhododendrons of Deboche and Thyangboche Hill were in bloom and beautiful. We walked up hills and down hills and along hills until we reached good old Namche Bazaar. Civilization as we know it… with internet and commerce and tourism and comfort at the easy to love altitude of around 11,500 ft. In two days, we'd come down what had taken us approximately 8 days to go up… long ago… in the Spring, when we were younger.
We'll walk to Lukla tomorrow and we will begin hoping for cloudless flying weather which might get us to Kathmandu sooner. And we'll just hope that our wet duffels find us before the contents rot… Life is not, by any means, trouble-free as yet but it is sure getting easier.
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I received the call around noon that day. It had been perfect boating weather — 80 degrees, blue skies. It was also a perfect day for….MURDER! And skinny-dipping, apparently.
I was the first responder on the scene. I had been sipping my Caramel Macchiato and perusing People magazine (Don't Charlie Sheen's eyes look crooked?) when my radio bristled with the call: MOTHER1, MOTHER1, ANONYMOUS CALLER REPORTING UNSPECIFIED CARNAGE IN THE Read More


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Evans High School fastpitch softball will have a Boston Butt fundraiser Sunday from 11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. for 10th-grader Taylor Hayes, who is undergoing a six-week treatment in a Boston hospital for a brain tumor. The butts can be picked up at the Evans softball field at that time. Tickets can be purchased from any Evans softball player. Cost is $25 and all proceeds will be donated to Taylor and her family to help offset medical expenses.
Saturday, Sept. 14
Greenbrier at Carrollton Meet, 8 a.m.
Grovetown at Greyhound Invite (Grey, Ga.), 8:30 a.m. (girls), 9:15 a.m. (boys)
Augusta Prep at Furman University Invitational, 9 a.m.
Friday, Sept. 13 (7:30 p.m.)
Augusta Christian vs. Cardinal Newman
Augusta Prep at Thomas Jefferson
Augusta Eagles vs. Anderson
Evans at Elbert County
Greenbrier at Jefferson County
Grovetown at North Augusta
Harlem vs. Glascock County
Twitter @ScottRouch
Friday night will mark another first for the Augusta Eagles football team.
In its first season as an 11-man team, the Eagles home-school team will play its first home game at Lions Memorial Field in North Augusta, playing host to the Anderson (S.C.) Cavaliers.
Coming off three years of playing eight-man football, the Eagles are taking some lumps in its initial season competing in the Glory For Christ Football league, starting out 0-3.
Last Week: 5-1
Season Total: 8-4
Augusta Christian Lions (1-1) vs. Cardinal Newman (1-1)
Last Meeting: September 7, 2012
The Lions flew by the Cardinals, 55-15.
Augusta Prep Cavaliers (2-0) at Thomas Jefferson (1-2)
Last Meeting: September 14, 2012
The Cavaliers fell behind big early and couldn't come back all the way, losing 44-38.
Augusta Eagles (0-3) vs. Anderson (3-0)
Last Meeting: First Meeting
Evans Knights (1-0) at Elbert County (1-1)
Columbia 22 Stallings Island 6
Lakeside 30 Evans 6
Greenbrier 30 Harlem 24
Grovetown 26 Riverside 16
Standings: East Division: West Division:
Lakeside 1-1 Columbia 2-0
Stallings Island 1-1 Grovetown 2-0
Greenbrier 1-1 Evans 1-1
Riverside 0-2 Harlem 0-2
Still in the feeling-out process, it was hard for first-year head coach Giulanna Cunningham to understand what happened to her Augusta Christian volleyball team.
The Lady Lions hung tough with the Cardinal Newman Lady Cardinals for a game Tuesday night in a South Carolina Independent School Association Region 1-AAA tilt, but were eventually swept 3-0 in the best-of-five match.
With the Area 2-AAAAA volleyball tournament just a month away, Evans High School coach Lauren Farr is hoping early trials and tribulations will lead to a good postseason showing by the Lady Knights.
The Lady Knights lost twice at home Tuesday night, falling to the Lady Yellow Jackets of North Augusta, then to the Westside Lady Patriots.
"We're just not moving our feet and we're not passing well," said Farr. "When we start to do that, we'll be all right."
College football is a huge commodity and it has gotten just a bit bigger this year with colleges and universities trotting out teams for inaugural seasons or those making a long-awaited return.
Columbia County athletes are right in the thick of things.
On August 31, Mercer University fielded a football team for the first time in 72 years, while Reinhardt University fielded a team for the first time ever.
Mercer took the historic contest in a wild one, winning 40-37.
While all are not unfamiliar faces, Augusta Christian's coaching landscape is a bit different this year.
After a summer of turnover, the fall season features Katie Bruce as the new swim coach, Estevan Price as the new cross country coach, Giulanna Cunningham at the helm of the volleyball program and Matt Klimas has the reins of the baseball program.
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