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Police remove a piece of fake concrete used by protesters to fill out... News PhotoArts Culture and Entertainment,Berlin,Berlin Wall,City,City Life,Concrete,Construction Industry,Cross Section,Demonstration,Fake,Filling,Germany,Graffiti,Horizontal,International Landmark,Kilometre,Mural,Police Force,Protestor,Rail Transportation,Railway Track,Removing,Station,Whole,WorkingPhotographer ODD ANDERSENCollection: AFP 2013 AFPPolice remove a piece of fake concrete used by protesters to fill out a whole during the removal of a section of the East Side Gallery, a 1,3 km long remainder of the Berlin Wall, for a housing construction project near the city's east railway station in Berlin on March 1, 2013. Some 25 meters of this section of the wall that mostly came down 23 years ago and marked the end of the cold war are taken away to make way for a new housing development on river Spree, a project called Living Levels. As news of this spread activists and artists that had decorated this remaining part of the cold war relic known as the east side gallery came to protest. AFP PHOTO / ODD ANDERSEN (Photo credit should read ODD ANDERSEN/AFP/Getty Images)


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The Mass General Critical Care Center's Global Outreach and Health Initiative (GOHI) engages our global community to address health disparities for the critically ill and injured.
Global Outreach
Embracing the Hospital's 200-year legacy of leadership, Mass General Critical Care Center's Global Outreach and Health Initiative (GOHI) seeks to deliver the best health care in a compassionate environment, to advance that care through innovative research and education, and to improve the health and well-being of the diverse communities we serve. Given the resource-intensive nature of care for the critically ill or injured, many agencies historically have been hesitant to invest in the necessary personnel, training, and infrastructure, especially in settings that are under-resourced. However, intensive care is essential to insure optimal outcomes wherever patients are severely ill, whether from trauma, surgery or infectious disease. Happily, recent technological advances in clinical care, education and research promise the transformative changes needed to provide modern, cost effective care even in extreme environments. GOHI provides the leadership for the MGH Critical Care Center to realize this vision.
A Collaborative Model
GOHI relies on a transdisciplinary model that integrates vertical interventions for disease with horizontal investments in health system strengthening, healthcare professional education, and holistic care of the patient. Our strategic approach has four core priorities:
- Investments in infrastructure
- Capacity building through clinical training and research mentorship
- Knowledge generation through research and scientific discovery
- Excellence and innovation in direct clinical care
GOHI works collaboratively with other clinical Departments at Mass General, including:
- Anesthesia, Critical Care and Pain Medicine
- Surgery
- Pediatrics
- Neurology
- Medicine
- Patient Care Services (Nursing, Respiratory, and Physical Therapy)
As well as the Mass General Center for Global Health. This GOHI collaborative model provides the synergy necessary to support our international partners in meeting their clinical and educational needs.
Investments In Infrastructure
Improvements in critical care outcomes cannot be achieved without improved infrastructure and access to equipment. Many facilities, including our partner sites, require additional bed-side monitors, ventilators, ultrasound and radiology equipment and expanded laboratory capability to provide contemporary intensive care for their patients. While donated equipment is frequently of use, older devices are sometimes difficult to repair, obsolete or come without a service plan. Over 90% of donated equipment will no longer be of use after 6 months. GOHI works to secure donations and grants to strengthen our partners infrastructure and technology. We ensure that the needed equipment is available with a service package that keeps the equipment reliable and safe. Finally, GOHI facilitates training for the new equipment and its use. As an example, the Department of Neurosurgery facilitated the donation and maintenance of an electric craniotomy drill from Stryker to the Mbarara University of Science and Technology.
Capacity Building
Beyond clinics or medications, expansion of human resource capacity is essential for effective public health delivery in poor regions of the world. The WHO estimates that there are currently 57 countries facing critical shortages of health care workers and a total global deficit of some 2.4 million doctors, nurses, and midwives. Africa in particular bears 24% of the global burden of disease, carries only 3% of the global health workforce and commands less than 1% of world health expenditure. GOHI prioritizes these workforce and capacity building challenges and aims to train across the global burden of disease. GOHI targets capacity building for the full spectrum of health care professionals across the time continuum (pre-hospital to rehabilitation):
- Nurses essential to monitor and respond to patient needs with a family-centered orientation
- Physicians able to interpret and treat changes in clinical status
- Respiratory, Physical, and Occupational Therapists aimed at restoring vital organ function and fully re-animating those suffering from prolonged critical illness
- Clinical Pharmacists and Nutritionists who provide drugs and food tailored to prevent and/or treat disease
- Biomedical and Laboratory Technicians who maintain and staff devices for vital organ diagnostics, treatment, and support
Together with the Mass General Center for Global Health, GOHI supports a series of inter-institutional training and mentoring initiatives that provide an integrated approach to global health education with a timeline that spans generations. Training initiatives aim to support international exchange of doctors, nurses and health personnel to engage in global public health. Similarly, in-country physicians, researchers and other health science professionals collaborate with Mass General counterparts to participate in structured training programs in their respective home countries. Training opportunities span a variety of methods including:
- Direct clinical training in our partner sites
- Didactic lectures
- Teleconferences between Mass General and our partner sites
- Funding for trainees to attend conferences and meetings
Research and Discovery
The greatest burden of global disease lies in the poorest countries. However, efforts towards reducing global health disparities are handicapped by glaring disparities in global health leadership. While there are many promising leaders who have effectively championed local initiatives, the highest concentration of global health leadership still resides in regions with the lowest burden of disease, like the U.S. The majority of new public health knowledge originates in North America, Western Europe, Japan and Australia as compared to regions with the greatest burden of disease. In a recent evaluation of first-author publications using the keyword "HIV" over 50% of the first-authors came from North America and Europe; only 8% originated in sub-Saharan Africa where 75% of the global burden of HIV resides.
There is a paucity of publications on care of the critically ill and injured in resource-poor settings or extreme environments. Recent public health emergencies triggered by earthquakes, hurricanes and nuclear disasters have exposed the lack of infrastructure and capacity to perform clinical research in these settings. As a result, there is insufficient new knowledge gained with each disaster to ensure better responses for future challenges. GOHI partners with the U.S. Critical Illness and Injury Trails (USCIIT) Group and the International Forum for Acute Care Trialists (InFACT) to develop recommendations for clinical research and to foster investigator-initiated hypothesis-testing at a global level. One early deliverable is creation of regionalized information networks for emergency preparedness and study of care delivery and outcomes in resource-poor settings. Projects are designed to provide ample opportunities for education in clinical and translational research as well as a rich collaborative environment for mentorship of junior investigators and clinician scientists on both sides of the partnership.
Direct Clinical Care
Investments an infrastructure, building clinical capacity, and innovative research, are all aimed at improving clinical care and patient outcomes. When possible, this will include travel to provide hands-on clinical care at the bedside with our international partners. When bedside service is not physically possible, advanced telemedicine capabilities currently in development provide the opportunity for Mass General clinicians to directly supervise or participate in care of patients who are geographically remote. Our service includes treatment for common, imminently treatable diseases such as diarrhea, pneumonia and appendicitis, as well as those with advanced diseases, including heart failure, head trauma, and shock.
U.S. News and World Report Best Hospitals 2015-2016
U.S. News & World Report ranks Mass General the #1 hospital in America based on our quality of care, patient safety and reputation in 16 different specialties. Learn more about why we're #1

subset: commoncrawl


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UWGB students walk along a sidewalk that connects the University Union and several dormitories on campus on April 7, 2011. The David A. Cofrin Library can be seen at top.
- Filed Under
Gov. Scott Walker's biennial budget proposal seeks to remove the University of Wisconsin-Madison from the rest of the UW System, establishing a separate governing board and allowing it greater flexibility in areas such as budgeting and tuition. The proposal, backed by Madison chancellor Biddy Martin, is part of Walker's plan to cut that school's funding by $125 million - in addition to $125 million in cuts that would be absorbed throughout the rest of the system.
The Madison split proposal has raised concerns among other system chancellors and the system's governing body, both of which ...


text: Gesta Asnacorum is the student-created, secretary-copied record of the life, times and thoughts of Asnacs. Your current Gesta editors are Lizzie Colwill and Beth McKinlay, and submissions are welcome throughout the year. The next issue is due for distribution at the Asnac Garden Party in May Week; however, if you cannot wait until then, the Asnac Society website is proud to present, for the first time in recorded history, a downloadable digital copy of every Gesta from 1995 to 2010 in delicious PDF format. Right click on the links below and Save As, or left click to view in a pop-up window.


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Walk through iconic Australian habitats and encounter some of the most loved and feared animals. See the huge crocodile in Kakadu Gorge, kangaroos and emus in The Outback, cuddly koalas in Gum Tree Valley and more!WILD LIFE Sydney Zoo features interactive displays, inspiring and entertaining daily shows, captivating daily feeding sessions and enhanced walk-through habitats including Koala Encounters, The Outback and Butterfly Tropics.
Sign up now to receive the latest news and exclusive special offers from Madame Tussauds.


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Grand and gracious full-size sedans come to mind for a night on the town, not a ski trip up to the slopes. But vehicular times they are a-changin'. Some of America's most beloved four-door family brands now boast models with the winter-beating traction and agility of all-wheel drive, handling all but the deepest of blizzard-buried roads. And even the Koreans are getting into the game.
The '70S-era Brady Bunch station wagon might be all but extinct, but families aren't. And neither is the need to haul kids and gear. If you're not interested in making the jump to an SUV, consider a variety of stylish crossovers—vehicles built on car rather than truck frames—that mix capacity with a smaller size.
When it comes to automotive role models, it's hard not to want to craft your all-new ride in the style of those trendsetting Germans—dramatic looks, Autobahn power, and plenty of grip in the slippery stuff.
That impulse has yielded striking new designs in a trio of once-bland small and midsize SUVs, one of which (Jeep's Cherokee) returns to the market after a long absence.
If your mental image of a pickup is a rusted-out work truck with a faded Killington sticker on the rear window and a couple of dogs in the back, it's time to bring you up to speed.
Manufacturers are in an arms race to see who can build the biggest and most audacious family-hauling, winter-hardy light-duty trucks with leathery, gentleman-rancher appeal.
Go to skiingmag.com
Go to nastar.com
Go to warrenmiller.com
Copyright © 2015 Cruz Bay Publishing, Inc. an Active Interest Media Company.


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We have been Steeler fans for many years but if the Green Bay Packers should win the upcoming Super Bowl, they would, in a sense, be the "people's" champion.
Patrick Hruby has a great article at ESPN.com on the unusual status of the publicly owned Green Bay Packers in professional football at
Super Bowl: The publicly owned Green Bay Packers could be the model for a better way to organize and administer professional sports. - ESPN
Tuesday, February 01, 2011
The Publicly Owned Green Bay Packers: A Model for Professional Sports ?
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It's that time again! November rolls around and here at the Alliance we are starting to gearing up for the end of the year. Messages about giving, advocacy alerts, and blogs/tweets/Facebook posts hurry out of the office to coincide with the holiday season.
For the next two weeks, in honor of Veterans Day, the Alliance will be focusing on veteran homelessness. This vulnerable population will dominate our conversation on the blog, on our social networks, and in our other communications avenues until Veterans Day on Friday, Nov. 11. We'll try to cover the issue from as many perspectives as possible and feature our resident experts on data, policy, solutions, strategies, and capacity building. We'll ask: how many homeless veterans are there? How can they be assisted? What specific challenges do they face? What legislation exists for to help veterans readjust to civilian life? What's going on with the five year plan to end vets homelessness?
We ask and encourage you to get involved. Send us questions, comments, ideas, feedback – you can leave them here (in the comments section), on our Facebook account, via Twitter, or send us a good old fashioned email.
This year, we are offering a special giving opportunity in honor of our veterans. In the month of November, you can honor a veteran by making a donation to the Alliance on their behalf; we'll make sure to send a card to the veteran you specify to inform them of your generosity.
For more information about giving, please visit our giving pages or email Elizabeth Doherty.
In the veterans supplement to the AHAR last week, we learned that the point-in-time count of veterans experiencing homelessness rose one percent to 76,329 from 2009 to 2010. In the same time period, year-round counts of homeless veterans seeking services decreased by 3 percent, to 144,842.
There were a number of other observations and statistics presented in the report, which covered
- estimates of homelessness among veterans
- demographic characteristics of sheltered veterans
- risk of homelessness among veterans, examining gender, race/ethnicity, age, and disability status
- location of homeless veterans
- veterans' access and use of the shelter system
- permanent supportive housing use by veterans
Among the many findings presented in the report, I was struck by two in particular, both pertaining to the risk of homelessness among veterans.
First is the widely-reported idea that female veterans are at higher risk of homelessness than their male counterparts. The report suggests that the wide reporting is based on fact, suggesting that female veterans are twice as likely as their non-veteran counterparts to experience homelessness. Poor female veterans are three times as likely to experience homelessness as their non-veteran counterparts living in poverty. In fact, it can be said that military service heightens the American woman's risk of experiencing homelessness.
I was also taken by the racial breakdown of risk. As the Alliance has observed before, African Americans are strongly overrepresented in the homeless veterans population. African Americans make up approximately 35 percent of the homeless veteran population but only 10 percent of the veteran population (and only 13 percent of the American population). Likewise, Latino/Hispanic veterans constitute 12 percent of the homeless veterans population but only 8 percent of the veteran population.
But I also noticed that Asians, while being underrepresented in the homeless veteran population (only 0.5 percent of the homeless veteran population and just over 1 percent of the total veteran population) were at particularly high risk of experiencing homelessness. At higher risk, according to the chart presented, than either their African American and Latino/Hispanic counterparts.
For more information about this report on veterans or to access it online, please click here.
Recently, the Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) and the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) released the second annual veteran-specific supplement to the Annual Homeless Assessment Report (AHAR). This report provides one-day and one-year estimates of the number of veterans experiencing homelessness in the United States, as well as the demographic characteristics of the veterans experiencing homelessness.
The report found that veteran homelessness in 2010 changed only slightly from 2009. The one-day estimate, called a Point-in-Time count, increased by 1 percent, from 75,609 homeless veterans on a single night in 2009 to 76,329 homeless veterans on a single night in 2010. The one-year count of sheltered veterans decreased by 3 percent between 2009 and 2010, from 149,635 to 144,842.
The demographic characteristics of homeless veterans were also largely unchanged. Homeless veterans in 2010 were slightly older, slightly more likely to be white, and slightly more likely to be disabled than they were in 2009.
One aspect of this report was particularly worrisome considering the Obama Administration's plans to bring home large numbers of troops from Iraq and Afghanistan. According to the report, young veterans (between 18 and 30) are more than twice as likely to be homeless than non-veterans, and young veterans living in poverty are almost four times as likely to be homeless as non-veterans. Veterans about to return from our current conflicts will face a difficult economy and job market and may need extra support to ensure they don't experience poverty or homelessness as they rejoin civilian life.
Finally, while all states have homeless veterans, four states account of 50 percent of homeless veterans in the country: California, New York, Florida, and Texas.
You can find the report here: http://www.hudhre.info/documents/2010AHARVeteransReports.pdf
This week, while some communities were still cleaning up after Hurricane Irene, we also paused to reflect on the six year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina's landfall in Louisiana.
Those unaffected by Katrina may be surprised to learn that many people who lost their homes as a result of the hurricane are still living in makeshift homes and abandoned buildings. Bernie Sanders, a senator from Vermont, said this week that coming together to help after disasters "is what being a nation is about." I couldn't agree more that as a nation we need to make sure that those still recovering from Katrina, the tornados in Joplin, and other disasters receive the help they need, and that we are prepared for a disaster before it strikes.
The state of our veterans returning from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan were also heavily discussed in the news this week, due to a speech President Obama gave at the American Legion national convention on Tuesday. In this address, the president discussed the federal government's commitment to better support veterans when they return home, noting "that includes making sure that federal agencies are working together so that every veteran who fought for America has a home in America." He also pledged to protect programs that assist veterans from budget cuts.
"We cannot, will not, and we must not, balance the budget on the backs of our veterans," Obama said.
Also of note: NPR launched a series on female veterans transitioning to civilian life this week. In the last couple years, there's been some discussion of the rise in female veterans experiencing homelessness. In our previous veteran reports, we noted that females veterans can experience high risk of homelessness than their male counterparts as female veterans are more likely to earn less money than males upon returning to veteran life, be single parents with children, and experience severe housing cost burden.
Without question, there are more females serving in the armed forces than there have been in the past and we can – and will – work to meet their specific needs as they transition back into civilian life.
Today's post comes to us from Donna Gallup, MSW, LSW, and Executive Director of Lamp Community in Los Angeles, CA.
Recent homeless counts have found that nearly 50,000 homeless individuals and families live in Los Angeles County on any given night. Chronically homeless individuals – homeless for a year or more and coping with one or more serious health, mental health and addiction problems – account for nearly 12,000 of that total; 6,000 newly homeless veterans also live in L.A.
Last November, an extraordinary report called Home For Good laid out a blueprint to end chronic and veteran homelessness in L.A. County by 2016. Lamp Community is proud to support the plan, based on 10 months of work by the Business Leaders Task Force on Homelessness, a group of 22 organizations assembled by the United Way and the L.A. Chamber of Commerce. Home For Good's goal is not only to find permanent housing for chronically homeless individuals, but also to provide intensive supportive services and treatment to help them regain their physical and mental health and self-esteem, and to help them reintegrate into the community. This is the work that Lamp Community has done for more than 25 years in L.A.'s Skid Row, which has the highest concentration of homelessness in Los Angeles. We at Lamp are happy to see the movement toward permanent supportive housing as a best practice for ending homelessness.
Think about what it would mean to end chronic and veteran homelessness in L.A. County – not to merely manage it, but to eradicate it with substantial long-term assistance that addresses the root causes of chronic homelessness. It costs the public "$875 million each year to manage homelessness in our region rather than end it," including "use of emergency rooms, jails, shelters, and other crisis services," Home For Good notes. Further, one quarter of the homeless population uses an estimated three quarters of the total resources addressing homelessness – approximately $650 million. Two recent studies cited in the report show permanent supportive housing lowers public costs by more than 40 percent.
At Lamp, we've known this for years. While it can cost taxpayers up to $65,000 to keep a single homeless individual living on the streets for a year, permanent supportive housing at Lamp – with its bevy of wrap-around services – costs only $12,000 to $14,000 per year, per person. More than 85% of those housed through Lamp maintain their housing for a year or more. Most are never homeless again and have the chance to become a part of their community.
Homelessness is a deeply complex issue, and hundreds of area organizations do important work helping people survive and move past a life on the streets. But service providers remain a house divided. We have to do better in Los Angeles, and that means working together on a cohesive plan like that laid out by Home For Good.
Home For Good's goals are ambitious. But Los Angeles can no longer tolerate the ineffective status quo. We can only strengthen our local continuum of care by direct and regular collaboration among service and housing providers in conjunction with public and private partners. We urge our friends and allies to join this initiative and come together to end homelessness permanently in Los Angeles.
Yesterday, the U.S. Department of Labor released a guide intended to improve services delivered to women veterans experiencing homelessness. The guide, called "Trauma-Informed Care for Women Veterans Experiencing Homelessness: A Guide for Service Providers" includes sections illustrating the experiences and needs of female veterans, describing trauma-informed care in homeless service settings, and a tool called the Organizational Self-Assessment for Providers.
Right off the bat, the guide offers background on women's present – and growing – participation in the armed forces. According to the report:
- Female service members are 14 percent of the active duty force and 18 percent of the National Guard and Reserve.
- 11 percent of female service members are single parents; 4 percent of male service members are single parents.
- Female veterans are four times more likely to a) identify themselves as a racial minority, b) have lower incomes, c) be unemployed, and d) younger than their male counterparts.
- The U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) estimates that the number of female veterans will grow from 1.8 million (8.2 percent of all veterans) to 2.1 million in 2010 (15.2 percent of all veterans) by 2036.
As the title suggests, the guide emphasizes the impact of trauma – both during and not during service – as a risk factor for experiencing homelessness. Military sexual trauma (MST) and service-related post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) are specifically identified, as well as trauma experienced during childhood and adolescence.
While trauma and the resulting behaviors and limitations trauma may cause can be risk factors to homelessness, female veterans also experience a variety of other challenges that jeopardize their housing stability.
In the report, "Vital Mission: Ending Homelessness Among Veterans," the Alliance identified a number of factors that could increase the risk of homelessness for women veterans. Factors include:
- Female veterans are more likely to have lower incomes than their male counterparts.
- Female veterans are more to be divorced and more likely to have children than their male counterparts.
- 13 percent of female veterans experience severe housing cost burden (paying 50+ percent of the monthly income on rent) as compared to 10 percent of male veterans; of those female veterans who experience severe housing cost burden, 59 percent fall b elow the poverty level.
While the population of female veterans, and female veterans experiencing homelessness, is small and the data limited, it's clear that this is an emerging issue needing study and consideration. For more information about veteran homelessness, please visit the Alliance website.
Perhaps the biggest news this week was that the lawsuit between the ACLU and the Department of Veterans Affairs. Over land in Los Angeles, the ACLU is alleging that the land, deed to the VA to provide housing for homeless veterans, is not being used as it was intended. The NYT offered an editorial about the situation this week.
Secretary Shaun Donovan had a thing or two to say about veteran homelessness on the HUD blog, The HUDdle. Writing about his experience before the National Coalition for Homeless Veterans, he called the effort to end homeless veterans, "beyond political" – a sentiment that we can all get behind.
But some things are political.
According to a piece in the NYT, state judiciaries are getting into the game of balancing state budgets. As governors and legislators try to balance their budgets, some are being taken to court over their decisions. And some judiciaries are reversing budget decisions, compelling lawmakers to respect constitutional standards despite their empty pocketbooks.
And the effects of these decisions are tangible at the local level. Today, the Worcester Telegram & Gazette ran a touching story about the impact of reduced assistance on one crisis center serving far too many people and families experiencing homelessness. While the staff there clearly does what they can, slashed budgets – and an end to rent subsidies – are leaving people with few, if any, options.
For more news clips from the week, check out the Alliance website.
This past week, I went to the National Coalition for Homeless Veterans' conference here in Washington, D.C. at the Grand Hyatt. Attending this conference gave me a chance to gain as broad a base of knowledge on veteran homelessness as I could get anywhere.
The three days were divided into two main parts:
- the first day consisted of an introductory session followed by a public policy forum;
- the remaining two days mostly consisted of individual sessions concerning specific aspects of veteran homelessness.
The first day started with an opening session. HUD Secretary Shaun Donovan, USICH Executive Director Barbara Poppe, and VA Secretary Eric Shinseki all gave remarks during the opening session. Colonel David Sutherland from the Department of Defense and Ray Jefferson, Assistant Secretary of Veterans' Employment and Training Service also followed suit.
The common themes that kept recurring from all of them were a call for collaboration, both at the national level and at the local level. Secretary Donovan put it perfectly when he said that, "too often we consider ourselves specialists."
My favorite part of the entire conference was the public policy forum. Pete Dougherty and Vince Kane from the VA, Gordon Burke from Labor, Anthony Love from USICH, and Mark Johnston from HUD all sat on the forum and took questions. For someone like me (I've always been attracted to the policy side of government), it was fascinating to watch the people who create and oversee programs interacting with the people who run these programs down on the level where they are put into use.
Moreover, as someone who will be in the Army in a couple years and serve with soldiers who could potentially face homelessness, it feels great to know that people care and are trying to help at every level.
On the second day, I heard Emily Button from US VETS speak about a permanent housing facility she runs around DC.
Her facility has a unique feature: veterans there live in two bedroom apartment units with a roommate to utilize the idea of a "battle buddy"; your "battle buddy" watches out for you while you watch out for them. I thought this was great because it takes a veteran back to the basic roots of what they're taught in the military, especially at a time of their lives when they're most vulnerable and need someone.
After the three days, I can say that I have been completely immersed in what there is to know about veteran homelessness. It was great meeting so many people who have devoted their lives to helping and serving those that have put everything on the line for us and for our country.
Evidently, Newport is doing something right. The small Rhode Island community has reduced chronic homelessness by half utilizing the Housing First strategy and a collaboration of six agencies and churches is aiming to end chronic homelessness in Newport and other small surrounding communities. It's like the good program director says, ""It's not rocket science. Homeless people need homes. "
This message, unfortunately, is being lost among those in charge of our city, state, and federal budgets. It's no secret by now – we've been writing about it for months now! – that everyone feels up against the wall trying to stay in the black. But the choices our leaders are being forced to make are cringe-worthy indeed, from reducing housing vouchers for veterans, to eliminating food stamps and cash assistance, to downsizing state safety nets for the poor. While it's clear that all of us will have to compromise to preserve the greater good, certainly we don't have to balance the budget on the backs of our most vulnerable friends and neighbors – right?
Speaking of, two more quick hits to round out the week.
There was an interesting post in the Atlantic asking "should you give money to homeless people?" And in the Nation, there was an summary about US poverty rates. (We actually blogged about it yesterday.)
Check those out and let us know what you think!
We're just the messenger on this one – but for more information or for the application form, please email us.
The Department of Veterans Affairs' Homeless Veterans Initiative Office is seeking nominations for the 2011 Secretary Award for Outstanding Achievement in Service for Homeless Veterans. This award program recognizes the achievement of individuals, teams, and organizations that provide exceptional service to homeless veterans and ending the cycle of homelessness among veterans.
Award nominations must be submitted to Department of Veterans Affairs, Homeless Veteran Initiative Office located at 1722 Eye Street, NW Washington, DC 20421 (Attn: Pete Dougherty) no later than April 22, 2011.
The following is an excerpt of the Award Criteria as released by the Department of Veterans Affairs.
Secretary's Award for Outstanding Achievement in Service for Homeless Veterans
Purpose: The purpose of this award is to recognize outstanding achievements of individuals, Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) employees, VA organizations, and partners including but not limited to veteran service organizations, businesses, community and faith-based organizations that provide exceptional service to homeless Veterans and contribute to breaking the cycle of chronic homelessness among Veterans.
Eligibility: This honor award is intended to recognize individuals, teams, and organizations that provide benefits and services to homeless and formerly homeless Veterans.
Type of Recognition: The Honor award would consist of a certificate presented by the Secretary or designated Senior VA official on site during field visits or at a special ceremony hosted at VACO. The Office of Public and Intergovernmental Affairs will coordinate for a presentation to be included in the Secretary's trip packages and be responsible in coordination with local public affairs officers for contacting the appropriate source of local or national media. There is no authority for granting a cash award, or an expensive non-cash award, to a non-Governmental employee or entity.
Criteria: This award program recognizes the achievement of individuals, teams and organizations that provide exceptional service to homeless Veterans and ending the cycle of homelessness among Veterans.
1.) Outstanding Achievement by an Individual VA Employee
Eligibility. Each nominee must be employed by VA and be involved in providing benefits assistance and healthcare and supportive services to homeless or formerly homeless Veterans.
- Nominee displays dedication and competency in providing benefits and services to homeless or formerly homeless Veterans.
- Nominee demonstrates effectiveness in improving and delivering benefits and services to homeless and formerly homeless Veterans.
- Nominee effectively collaborates with other homeless providers both within the VA and with community agencies and organizations.
- Nominee develops and implements strategies to improve the provision of benefits and services to homeless and formerly homeless Veterans.
2.) Outstanding Achievement by a VA Organization
Eligibility. Each nominee must be VA organization involved in providing benefits and services to homeless or formerly homeless Veterans.
- Organization demonstrates effectiveness in improving and delivering benefits and services to homeless and formerly homeless Veterans.
- Organization effectively collaborates with other homeless providers both within the VA and with community agencies and organizations.
- Organization develops and implements strategies to improve the provision of benefits and services to homeless and formerly homeless Veterans.
- Organization has enhanced the visibility and image of VA in providing benefits and services to homeless and formerly homeless Veterans.
3.) Outstanding achievement by a Community Organization
Eligibility. Each nominee must be the employee or organization in recipient of a VA Homeless Providers Grant and Per Diem award or an organization currently providing benefits and services to homeless or formerly homeless Veterans.
- Nominee demonstrates effectiveness in improving and delivering benefits and services to homeless and formerly homeless Veterans.
- Nominee effectively collaborates with other homeless providers both within the VA and with community agencies and organizations.
- Develops and implements strategies to improve the provision of benefits and services to homeless and formerly homeless Veterans.
Nomination Process: A working group, chaired by the Director of Homeless Veteran Programs (075) and comprised of representation from Veterans Health Administration, Veterans Benefits Administration, National Cemetery Administration, and VACO Staff Offices knowledgeable of programs and services for the homeless will develop the framework and details of the nominating process. It is anticipated nominations for outstanding achievement by individual VA employees and VA organizations will be made utilizing existing organizational chain of command. The working group will evaluate applications and recommend candidates to receive an award for each category of award based on criteria listed above.
Endorsement from the Under Secretary for Health, Under Secretary for Benefits and the Under Secretary for Memorial Affairs will be obtained prior to forwarding to the Secretary for final approval for employees or organizational elements under their jurisdiction.
Security clearances may be required for VA employees.


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Monday, November 3, 2008
A Year Ago Today….
It's fitting because as a writer, I've seen my byline in magazines, newspapers and online, but never in a book…until today. I wrote the foreword for Refuse to Regain, and seeing my byline after the foreword was almost as thrilling as meeting Oprah. Fitting because had I not been on "Oprah," I might not have met Barbara. Fitting because a year ago, I'm not sure I could have written the foreword. Not because in it I refer to a particular moment on the Oprah show, but because I'm a stronger, more confident person today, thanks mostly to all the people I've met this last year and continue to meet in person, in my blogs, other places on the 'net. People who challenge me, teach me, encourage me, and, yes, even piss me off sometimes.
I blogged about my Oprah experience, if you want to read about it. There are a few photos there, too. I went back to read it again for the first time in a year and even now it's still hard to believe it actually happened, even though I wear the boots every chance I get. Not the jeans so much. Or the belt. …sigh… I'm really not en vogue, not by any stretch of the imagination. My apologies to everyone who's tried to instruct me this year in the ways of fashion.
Anyway, it's what happened next that guided my life to where it is now. As I wrote after the show aired at the end of November:
"I've said all along that if my weight-loss story can inspire just one person to take control of their weight and fitness, then telling it in any way I can is worth it. I'm merely paying a debt. I'm paying back the people who encouraged me and helped me reach my own goals. If I've inspired someone to lose weight, it's because I was inspired to lose weight by someone else who lost weight.
"Losing weight, while a solitary physical act, does not have to take place in a vacuum. We all have questions, we all have doubts, we all have victories, both on and off the scale, that we want to celebrate with other people who 'get it.' The people who inspired me also answered my questions, calmed my doubts, and celebrated with me. It's my turn to do the same for others. Thus the challenge."
This led me to begin this blog, Lynn's Weigh. Then, after being featured on CNN's FitNation and being "found" by Barbara, we started the Refuse to Regain blog. What's funny, though, is that I still get far more inspiration, feedback and learning tools from readers and other bloggers I've met this year than I can ever give in return. So a hearty thank you to all of you for your insightful gifts.
Chicago last year was the mother of all trips. Seeing my byline in a book today was the mother of all head rushes. That is, until I see my name as the author on the cover of my own book J Which reminds me, I owe that book some Lynn time today, so I best get to it. I confess, though, I'd rather hang out here on the computer with you guys.
12 comments:
That's so cool. Congrats on everything, but especially on the new lease on life.ReplyDelete
I'm proud to "know" you! Thanks for all the inspiration you are.
Yes, congrats Lynn on all the wonderful things that have happened to you in the past year. You so deserve it all.ReplyDelete
Your blog was the first one I found a few months back and from it you lead me to more and more and more. To realize there are so many online that are going along day to day just like me trying to sort out the answers to permanent weight loss. Each day I read your blog I take something from it and I'm grateful. Thank you.
Thank you Lynn for being our inspiration and Congrats to you!ReplyDelete
Loved reading this post and I went back and read a lot of your Oprah posts as well. Amazing experience. I would love to do that one day too! Thank you for writing with humor, wit and honesty. Love your blog. :) Also, thank you for the PB2 post--just got mine and it is fabulous!!
Hi Lynn! I waited to reply to this blog because I thought I would get my copy of Refuse to Regain in the mail today. It came, and I just read your intro--Great Job!!ReplyDelete
I want to thank you for the positive influence you have had in my weight loss and maintenance. I did see that Oprah show, but it was before I 'knew' you through your blog. It has been so encouraging to read your highs and lows and struggles and victories. Putting a real face on a person who has lost a tremendous amount of weight and kept it off. As I write that, I realize that that was one of the very things that kept me from trying to lose weight for over 20 years--observing people lose weight and gain it all back over and over.
So, thank you again, and I can hardly wait til your book comes out! I'm off to read more of Refuse to Regain
Congrats on the weight loss! As a personal trainer I have seen many clients take on the challenge and struggle with it. You are spreading the word that it can be done and empowering others in the process. That deserves all kinds of warm fuzzies and gold stars :)ReplyDelete
Jamie Atlas from Fitness Insights
you my hero.
In so many ways.
(Im so trying to pull my book together while working and Mizing and BabyMamaing)
and Im off to chicago this weekend!
loved this reflective posting - I also love the collection of maintainers that you are gathering -ReplyDelete
when I hit my goal range I had a hard time finding maintenance blogs in the sea of weight loss blogs.
I had a strong need to read about other maintains thoughts and experiences.
I appreciate your blogs and all the writers that you attract.
I did get your e-mail and you are very welcome to add me to your list.
I should add that I love the weight loss bloggers comments and blogs too. It is just nice to have a 'light' that attracts maintainers too.ReplyDelete
You guys always manage to make me tear up :)ReplyDelete
Miz, have a great time in Chi-town and say hi to Jennette for me!
You inspired me - and inspire me every day. Can't wait for the book.ReplyDelete
I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.ReplyDelete


text: Photo by Slaven Vlasic/Getty Images [ KIXZ's Dennis Miller On Foxnews And O'Reilly For Millertime By James G June 26, 2012 We've gone crazy for Dennis Miller on The New 940. We run his show at lunch at it's always a fun time. Read More|Comment Category: Videos Tags: bill oreilly, dennis miller, kixz, millertime, the new 940 Send to a friend! Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Pin it! Reddit This! Share on Tumblr!


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Random commentary about C++, STL, Boost, Perl, Python, Algorithms, Problem Solving and Web Search
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Maximum number of trains in the station
You are given a collection of trains C. each train t_i will enter the station at time t_i_0 and will leave the station at time t_i_1. How many trains do you have in the train station at a given moment in time t? What is the maximum number of trains you have during a day?
Pubblicato da codingplayground a 7:43 AM
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SBA launches health care web page, blogFrom Staff Reports
The U.S. Small Business Administration in Washington, D.C, has launched a new web page and blog dedicated to educating small business owners about the Affordable Care Act.
The new tools will serve as a gateway for small business owners connecting them with information provided by SBA's federal partners responsible for implementing the law, including the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
SBA's new web page, www.sba.gov/healthcare , breaks down the key provisions of the Act based on business size in the following categories: self-employed, fewer than 25 employees, fewer than 50 employees and more than 50 employees.
The blog, titled Health Care Business Pulse ( www.sba.gov/blog ), will provide small business owners with continuous updates about the implementation of the Act.
The blog is for informational purposes only and is not intended as legal or tax advice, said SBA officials. Readers should consult their legal or tax professionals to discuss how specific matters relate to their individual business circumstances.


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India's forex reserves down USD 685 mn
India's foreign exchange (forex) reserves decreased by USD 685.1 million to USD 274.80 billion for the week ended Sep 6, according to data released by the Reserve Bank of India (RBI).
The reserves had fallen by USD 2.23 billion to USD 275.49 billion for the week ended Aug 30.
The foreign currency assets (FCA) - the biggest component of the forex reserves - fell USD 656.5 million to USD 246.74 billion, the weekly statistical supplement of the central bank showed.
The FCA had declined by USD 3.08 billion at USD 247.40 billion in the previous week.
The central bank said FCA in US dollar terms included the effect of appreciation or depreciation of non-US currencies held in reserve, such as the pound sterling, euro and yen.
Gold reserves remained stagnant at USD 21.72 billion. The reserves of the precious metal were up by USD 977.1 million in the week ended Aug 30.
The special drawing rights (SDRs) declined by USD 19.6 million to USD 4.35 billion during the week ended Sep 6, while reserves with the International Monetary Fund (IMF) went down by USD 9 million to USD 1.98 billion.
The SDRs had declined by USD 14.9 million to USD 4.37 billion during the previous week, while reserves with the IMF were down by USD 112.5 million to USD 1.99 billion.
(Posted on 14-09-2013)


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Giant Gum Paste Rose
Crisped rice cereal treats recipe
- 12 oz. foam bowls
Step 1
For rose bases, prepare cereal treat mixture. Make three cones: 2 in. dia. (at base) x 2 1/2 in. high. Brush bottoms with melted candy; let set on waxed paper-covered board. Brush tops with melted candy to seal completely; chill until firm.
Step 2
Divide gum paste and tint 10 oz. each: yellow, orange, pink. Roll out 1/16 in. thick as needed.
For rosebud and first petal row, cut three petals using smallest circle cutter from set. Soften outer edges by setting petal on medium shaping foam and rolling with 9 in. fondant roller.
Step 3
Brush bottom of one petal with gum glue adhesive and wrap around tip of cone to form bud. Attach two remaining petals, overlapping slightly, to complete first ro
Step 4
For second row, cut five petals using smallest circle cutter. Soften edges and attach as above.
For third row, cut five petals using second smallest circle cutter. Soften edges then shape over outside of mini ball pan; let set for 5 minutes, then attach. Repeat for fourth row, cutting six petals with second smallest cutter; attach.
Step 5
For each rose, cut a 2 1/2 in. dia. circle out of bottom of a foam bowl. Insert rose base through hole until sides of bowl support your rose petals.
Get Inspiration and Great Deals
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Sanrio My Melody Smartphone Cell Phone 5"HD IPS for Android System. Celebrate!! Here comes the very first & original Sanrio-licensed Melody smart phone just released on Dec. 2013! This is a Melody cute smart phone running on Android operating system. It's equipped with a 5.0-inch, color display with a screen resolution of 1280x720 pixels. The smartphone is powered by a MTK 6589 quad-core processor with 1 GB of RAM. This phone includes a front-facing 5.0 MP camera and a rear-facing 12.0 MP camera. The power is handled by the 1650 mAh Li-ion battery. What's more, this is the smartphone that you can use not only in your country but also WORLDWIDE! When you travel outside of your country, you don't need to worry about changing your mobile phone! Classic Melody 5" HD IPS Smartphone with outstanding features including:*MTK6589 quad-core processor*12.0 MP Camera *Android Operating System*Memory: RAM 1G ROM 8G*5.0" HD IPS (1280x720Pixels) Touch screen We have this mobile phone in ready stock now. This phone is in limited quantity and can sell out any time.BUY NOW and we will ship by EMS (5-7 delivery) with a on-line tracking no.~ You can use the mobile phone on DUAL SIM cards SIMULTANEOUSLY, on the following network systems- - 1 GSM (GSM 850/900/1800/1900 only) + 1 WCDMA SIM cards at the same time, - 2 GSM SIM cards at the same time, or- simply ONE SIM card (GSM or WCDMA) The following service providers can be used for this mobile phone : USA: Sprint / Verizon / Alltel (WCDMA SIM cards only)USA: AT & T / Cingular / T-Mobile (GSM SIM cards)Canada: Rogers / Fido & other GSM SIM card carriers Canada: all the "bell" companies are CDMA / Telus Rest of world: ANY GSM or WCDMA SIM cards will do!! Exclusive Melody Wallpapers BUY NOW and we will ship by EMS (5-7 delivery) with a on-line tracking no.~ Package Includes:●Melody mobile phone x 1●Original Earphones x 1●K6 User Manual (in Chinese)●Original Gift Box●Original Charger x 1●Original Travel Charger x 1●Other Accessories: Battery x 2, USB Cable x 1 Check out also My Melody & Hello Kitty smarphones in store now!
- Price: $454.95 - In stock
- Color: Red


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B Active
As part of our well-being program, the B Active® fitness center is located on the ground level with direct access to the pool & patio area. B Active® is open 24 hours a day and equipped with cardio and weight training equipment. We want to make sure you stay energized and maintain your routine during your time away from home. Explore the destination with an invigorating jog along the Disney Springs® area, yoga in the park, or for the ultimate activity, challenge yourself with a run, Walt Disney World® Marathon or the Twighlight Zone Tower of TerrorTM 10-Miler Weekend.
The Twilight Zone® is a registered trademark of CBS, Inc. and is used pursuant to a license from CBS, Inc.


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Photo: The seldom-climbed chimney crack of Clutcher (VS 4c) © Carmen Elphick
Submit a new photo of this climb.
Excellent climb. Bold and epic. Furanco C - Lead - 2010
IanJackson - AltLd - 28/Jun/08 with Big Ian
Excellent chimney, shame it also serves as a pigeons' lavatory!Simon Caldwell - Lead O/S - 13/May/08 with Carmen
Hidden - Lead O/S - 07/Oct/99
Climbed on a shunt. This isn't a climb: it's a Freudian Experience! Try it and you'll know.
When thrutching up the chimney/crack best not to look to the right: there's daylight. You are pressing outwards against a semi-detached wall!allmag - TR - May/91
Hidden - 1988
Dave Musgrove - AltLd - 12/Sep/71


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So a couple months ago, I sat down with some science educator types and we had a bit of a tete a tete over the Science Creative Quarterly, and how surreal it seems to have this sizable readership growing. We also discussed how lovely it is that sites like Boingboing or Digg will benefit that attempt to gain readership, with the odd link here and there.
From this, we also kind of went on to discuss how interesting and useful sites like Boingboing and Digg are in of themselves, and particularly great at finding material, graphics, media, anecdotes, (whatever the case may be) that fit nicely in lectures we deliver to classes.
Not necessarily from a straight up academic point of view, but rather in the vein of providing short and needed lifts during the context of a 50 minute discussion. Call them transition points if you like, which are really useful since they simply keep the level of engagement high.
As well, when you challenge yourself to be creative enough, some of these "cool" factoids work well in the context of the material itself. And this info is also useful.
So the question that came to pass was whether there was already a site that did this specifically. And if not, why don't we set up a site that does by sort of filtering out the "cool" stuff even further, for stuff that could be used in a science education, science communication context, make it easy to search through, and also provide the ability to leave commentary as to how such and such was used to great effect.
Man, we thought – that would be really cool if something like that could develop. Useful too. The key, of course, is word of mouth.
So without further ado, let's have a go, and let me introduce the SCQ's FILTER.
(From the "about" section)
"FILTER" The name says it all really.
The Science Creative Quarterly is, at the heart of it all, a project aimed at getting folks to talk a little more science. And if we were to expand this further, it is to get non-science folks to play a little as well. This, we've been doing in a pseudo literary sort of way with the SCQ, and we hope also in a reasonably successful sort of way.
But quite often, with respect to our roles as teachers and communications, we find something that let's us talk science a little easier. And these are things that aren't just text, not exactly literary. Just good – good for a few seconds. Maybe it's something funny, curious, or inspiring. We're talking about elements that work well in the context of that presentation you're designing to deliver to your peers, your classroom, your basic denizens of the general public.
So this is what the FILTER is all about. It's about us educators finding and presenting things that don't necessarily educate (there's lots of good stuff out there that already does that), but rather works in the context of providing that chuckle, a transition point, or a much needed break in the dryness that can develop during the act of communicating science.
And we hope you use this stuff – because as educators of note, we know it happens to work. And that's a good thing, right? Seriously now: Who's going to argue for the world needing a little more awe and respect for the sciences?
You are of course.


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Why do men blow hot and cold?
By natalie On September 20, 2007 · 36 Comments · In Emotional Unavailability
Judging by the amount of interest in emotionally unavailable men, it is clear that most women have had some experience of being with a guy that blows hot and cold. This inconsistent behaviour means that as long as you're with him, you are thrown into a cycle of inconsistency as you deal with the drama, the highs and lows, and the uncertainty. If you're with a man who is emotionally unavailable (Mr Unavailable), it is rarely a good indicator of things to come. But why do they blow hot and cold?
They love the thrill of the chase. Men that turn on the hot and cold tap of attention have limited attention spans. They are quick out the gate in hot pursuit but as soon as they feel like they don't have to chase anymore, you lose your shiny exterior. There is no incentive for them to throw all of their energy at you.
They are too cowardly to admit that they are not ready for a relationship. Instead they just p*ss off and withdraw and then blow hot when you kick up a fuss about their poor behaviour…or they need some sex or attention.
They like toying with you. There are some guys out there that like nothing more than to play cat and mouse with you. Clearly screwed up, they get a kick out of reeling you in, wining, dining, and maybe even sixty-nining you…only for them to stop calling, being obnoxious, or just plain ignoring you.
They can't commit, whether it's to being with you…or without you. You ask them to step up to the plate and be with you properly and they flake out and start protesting how they're not ready. So you walk away and they keep calling you periodically, emailing, and texting, never quite getting out of your life. Be careful of becoming a Yo-Yo Girl...
They are very focused on short term benefits. They get sex and attention without casting an eye to the future and how they are screwing with your mind. They'll also fake a future to get what they want.
They are undecided about you but like keeping you on ice. They're like dogs in mangers…they're not sure they want you but they don't want anyone else to have you so they hog up your life and keep you as an option whilst trying to ensure that you think of them as your only option.
And occasionally, they are so overwhelmed with love that it scares the crap out of them...But that is a rarity and their behaviour shows that they have issues that are counterproductive to having a healthy relationship. After all, running away from someone whom you profess to be crazy about is hardly normal and is not a healthy way to build the foundations of your relationship!
Because they blow hot, you end up wondering what you've done to make them stop.
Because they blow hot, when they blow cold you don't acknowledge what that means, and instead focus on the fact that you know that they're capable of blowing hot.
Because they blow hot and then cold, when you call them on it, they either quickly start blowing hot, or tell you to stop being so needy. Often they refuse to acknowledge their poor behaviour.
If you stick around a man that blows hot and cold, eventually he gets the message that he can do what he likes because you're still there. There's no more 'hot' then…it's just luke warm or cold as ice…
Remember that the survival of your relationship is dependent on consistencies. Don't make the mistake of translating 'he blows hot and cold' into drama. Men who are genuinely interested in you show that they are consistently. Don't be with a man who consistently shows that he is incapable of any positive emotional consistency or depth.
Also read my post on The Status Quo which explains how these guys use blowing hot and cold to manage your expectations and keep the relationship in their comfort zone and you fall in sync by creating drama.
My ebook The No Contact Rule is now available to buy and provides a dedicated guide to getting over someone by cutting contact and injecting some boundaries into your life so that you can move on to a happier you. For a no holds barred guide to emotionally unavailable men and the women that love them, you can also get Mr Unavailable & The Fallback Girl.
Related Posts:
36 Responses to Why do men blow hot and cold?
JaneC says:
I am finally out of my yo-yo days after 2+ years. I made so many excuses for him from his inexperience with women to his being ambitious and hard-working and committed to his business. He falls in every one of those paragraphs above!
I finally realized all that was just his "cover" to stay out of a committed relationship.
"Men who are genuinely interested in you show that they are consistently."
Too true!
AERNYC says:
I definately just dated one of those. For three months. When we first started dating he came on very strong, always telling me how much he liked me and as soon as i started to reciprocate all of a sudden i was being too serious. As soon as i back off he starts complaining how i'm using him for sex and that he wants something more serious. So i get drawn back in…and you can guess the rest!
Talk about hot and cold and not knowing what he wanted.
Love reading your blog!
Dreamgirl Shopping says:
If onlt I had read this before I got married… ten long years ago… argh!
Emma says:
Great Alanis Morissette quote.
Pheobie says:
Great article… I am dating with 58 years old guy, who are not emotionally available (I am 42). I am very attracted his power, money and knowledge, yet tired to be his yo-yo girl. Age doesn't determine anything in terms of the relationship…
Jenny says:
I'm having this experience right now and at the risk of trying to nice it up for myself, I think this guy fell in love and the crap was scared out of him. BUT even if he's in love and fearful, the fact that he's blowing hot/cold doesn't make me feel loved – just blue. I am still emotionally invested in him and honestly wish it could work out but I really don't think it will and I have to go through the process of detaching myself from hi. For me, what I believe will work is a discussion with him about his behaviour for the sake of much needed closure.
Vicky says:
OMG, Jenny. You took the words out of my mouth. I am experiencing the exact same issues. I am SO in love with him. And I swear, in return, all my confidence is gone. He's being so cold and I haven't done anything wrong. I hate being the victim, but I so am!
Maggie Perez says:
yeah, i'm in a relationship right now and a lot of this sounds just like him. we've been together for almost 2 years and our relationship is always fluctuating. It goes up and down all the time. why can't it ever be straight!!!!!!!
Jessica says:
I have been dating a guy for nearly 3 months and things seemed like they were going great. He was introducing me to his friends; kept inviting me out to do things and then all of a sudden, BAM! He's not calling, or returning calls. I am very hurt because I thought we were on the same page, but obviously I was wrong. I've been through this in the past and I will NOT let this guy suck me back in (if he ever decides to stop being a coward and come out of hiding). I want a guy who wants to be with me! I deserve no less. Chin up ladies…. supposedly the nice guy is out there…. ugh
Andy says:
I had a great relationship with my girlfriend but within weeks she was attempting full commitment – including wanting me to move in with her.She also did some very bad things,including attempting to get pregnant deceptively.She constantly sought verbal clarification of my love for her, to the point of obsession.She wanted me to ask her to marry her,just pretend to…this had the effect of pushing me away – it was all too much.All this coupled with the fact that she had split from her husband 7 years before and was yet to formalise it.I made the mistake of not completely breaking off with her for these reasons – I continued to be friends with her and this gave her hope that things would change.I also hoped that she would change too.I am not sure this makes me a commitment phobe – I think I was simply pushed too hard,too soon and had trust issues due to her actions.
Gina says:
THE STORY OF MY DATING HISTORY lol — I was so grateful to have came across this site and put words to the patterns that were going on. It's funny when I picture "blowing hot and blowing cold" I see the big bad wolf in sheeps clothing… but we knew it all along!! It was always the case when I called on their "coldness" they tell me I was being too needy or play dumb and because I doubted my own feelings and perceptions thought I was going crazy and then thought "it must be me"… ahhh, thank goodness I am enlightened. Of course I know now from this site and self exploration that I was emotionally unavailable therefore leading myself into the direction that was inevitiable, but there is something about these mens behaviors that hook us in like fish that thought it was real grub, but just fake bait!
sara says:
It's all on the first few weeks, texts and seeing eachother but the next few weeks no word from him and its funny because it kinda can be perceived as needy/clingy behaviour and i was the person 'hard to get' who follows whims (still) and cringed at my friends clingy relationships. I use to say "living in each others pocket" etc but then again THAT is clingy, feeling insecure without eachother all the time but its not clingy to wonder why someone's hot one moment, and cold the next. I get the chase thing and if they won you too easily they get bored..it's just when I haven't been interested in someone who was chasing me, they pursued quite hard…and then when there was someone interested in me that i in turn liked, i out right said i liked them too, as they said about me too. Am I to take it that we're to pretend we're not interested so that they get to chase? Men – i mean, boys, like that, need to grow up and become men. Games…cut the foreplay, and just play!
emmaj says:
The same for me. Been talkin to a fella for two years.. met him twice.. my feelings and emotiions for him are really strong.. love amlost.. i kissed him.. he kissed me back.. he said he likes me.. likes how i am.. likes how i look.. but its left at that. When he goes all quiet and i question him why.. he says he wants nothing to more to do with me! Im left feelin confused and lost! Feels like iv lost two years of my life!
MERRYGOROUND says:
Kaz says:
This blog says it all. I've spent months analysing a guy who I like from work and why he acts hot and cold. It seems that when I have lost interest in him and it shows he likes to reel me back in. There's a definite conclusion that I have come to…just like the film, he aint that interested. When a guy is genuinely interested in a girl he will show it, even if it's just bumping in to her, being in the same place as her or making small chat. The guy at work just makes me feel down about myself, but it's hard to let go when someone is blowing hot and cold.
Mgirl says:
This post made me cry when I read it. A year of my boyfriend acting like he's a changed guy for a while and trying to be sweeter/pay more attention . . . but always going back to "cold". He will just ignore me for days – not call, not answer my text or answer it very shortly and coldly. This is not even after we've had a fight- we don't fight, he just treats me like dog shit every once in a while for no reason. He likes to alternate between being really sweet and affectionate, and then just acting like I don't exist. Most times I've stood up for myself he will still just ignore me. Only when he's made me cry does he try to act a little nicer for a while. but it never lasts. I can't believe I have wasted a year crying myself to sleep and being so lonely and depressed while supposedly being in a "relationship".
Valley Forge Lady says:
IIf you were to marry this guy….the same acitivity would be emotional abuse. If you treated him this way…..he would probably look for someome else! You are settling for less than you deserve!
tina says:
I dont like guys blow hot and cold. If they do this i'll just move on.
Lovenomics: Managing Your Desire to Be the Exception in Relationships – Part One | Baggage Reclaim says:
[…] talking about stuff like boundaries, passive aggression, The Status Quo, how we become the pursuer, blowing hot and cold, how to spot emotionally unavailable men, the powerbase, being the girl that cried wolf, the guy […]
Wendy says:
Mine was kinda sorta after me for TWO YEARS then finally asked me out. He was still "roomates" (larf) with his ex so I said call me when you have your own place.
he got his own place 2 weeks later and began to pursue.
At first *I* was just in it for a lay, a movie, some good convo, etc and made that clear and that made him pursue more…presents, calling every night, etc. I broke boundaries (such as letting him be around my kids after a few weeks instead of months).
Then suddenly he withdrew the sexual aspect. I suspect now , that this was a control tactic bcuz i was obviously just in it for the good time. He had a host of seemingly fab reasons for this, all of which added up to wanting MORE than just sex with me. LOL. So he was coming on so strong i began to look at him as more, and AS SOON as I emoted to him i might be developing deeper feelings, HE BLEW COLD. I was demoted from date or even "bed buddy" to …FRIENDS, altho he wouldn't even say that. Just keeping me in limbo i guess.
After a week of that, he totally disappeared, no calling , no call-BACKS, no facebook replies.
So when he resurfaced a week later and said it felt "like time to have you over for dinner again" I said yeah sure then I left him a phone message saying "whatever this is, it isn't working out for me" etc. Very nice and polite. I also facebook deleted him and left him a facebook msg saying i wasn't mad just a clean break is best.
We live on a small island, he has no friends and is socially inept so I know he won't do better than me (for long)
Today I found out he was likely not only seeing his EX (which i was fine with, since i didnt' want to be serious) but likely another woman as well, and likely telling us all the same sob story about how the other ones were crazy, or whatever .
I highly recommend the book "He's Just Not That Into You" > I bought it a year ago and if not for that book, i would have let this go on longer than a few months. Much longer. The book is Waaaaay better than the movie and every woman should read it. It will help you set boundaries at the very least.
JJ says:
I was reading this post and started to just think back in my own situation and how all of the signs were clear and steer right in front of me. His possessiveness; clingyness; and his non stop phone calls to me everyday all day in the beginning of our year relationship. Him admitting to me that he screwed someone else the night after his wedding simply because he married her for all the wrong reasons and he didn't love her. Him making excuses for not seeing his kids and that his ex wife was keeping them from him.(He hadn't seen them in a year). His neediness of and always stating that he needed money for this bill and money for that bill at the same time looking for a HANDOUT from WHO? (ME). Him trying to upgrade his kitchen with some of the highest brands of STAINLESS STEEL appliances(borrowing the money to buy it from one of his other VICTIMS ofcourse cause he dam sure didn't get it from me) but half a year behind on his mortgage payments!! What was I thinking? I wasn't. We women fail to see the RED FLAGS when they are there!! On my way to working on becoming a better ME version of me while he is still stuck in the same place of being HIM and on to his next VICTIM. Feels good to finally be FREE!! Good luck ladies.
JJ says:
Oh I almost forgot about the condom wrapper that i found in his bathroom trash can the last time I went over for a visit but he swore down that it was his cousin's who had some girl over at his crib the night before. His sheets were off his bed that day too. Red Flags; Red flags; Wake UP!!
Kathy says:
Wow…after reading this blog I have no hope for the future. The men I have been involved with in the past have been like this. Total head cases. The games they play are serious and heartbreaking. I have to say one thing, I thought I was alone but i guess not. Good luck to all you ladies..I hope we each find a good one….
Kati says:
i just got back from a weekend with a guy i've been seeing for about eight months. in that time he has promised me a lot, told me i am his world and although it's been up and down we had kinda talked about moving in once he cleared some room. talk talk talk is all he has done about that and sweet fa more. this weekend he whisked me to scotland, great food, expensive hotel treated me like a queen. then we get back and he blows hot and cold. phew don't know whether i'm coming or going. he says he really loves me and wants to be with me but i don't know where the actions are because he seems to do a lot of stuff to make me feel ignored when i'm at his place then he wonders why i get upset. he says he likes to wind people up (other people) but i am wondering if he is getting off on doing this to me too? it seems to be happening more and more as we get further into this relationship. how do i know if he's just not that into me or is just scared (he had a v bad childhood) and wanting to go slower? i'm in pretty deep maybe i just can't see the truth cos it hurts x
JJ says:
@ Kati
I think men blow hot and cold because its just what they do. Not all of them. its usually just the egotistical EUM; and Narcissist Ass clowns that do. Sounds like you are just in the beginning of a relationship that seems to be going or getting nowhere. If a man wants to move in with you and they want to be with you they're actions will speak for them…. His actions of saying one thing and doing another pleads the case… He's just not that into you. He's only as into you as much as he wants to be. I would quit all the chit chase unless you want to keep going on for years…. and wonder why you're still stuck at square one. I think all of us women on this site need each others support so just offering mine. Hope it helps.
Becky says:
i came across this while searching on google for help. i've been on and off with this lad for about 3/4 years, and one week, he says he loves me so much and i'm the only thing in his life that means something. he mainly says this when he is drunk, he texts me saying these things, i barely make out what he says. and then he's saying he misses me and wants to see me when he comes home (he's in the raf), and then we do, we meet up, cuddle, kiss and then end up having sex. and then after when i go home, i sometimes don't hear from him for days. i last saw him 4 days ago (he's home for the week), i slept over at his house. and i hadnt heard from him, until 2 days ago, i texted him asking if we could see each other again before he goes back to raf and when we could and he said not sure tbh. meaning he's busy. i understand that he's busy but he doesn't TRY to make an effort. and then today, i texted him saying, have you changed your mind about us? have you gone off me? cos it doesn't seem like you want to see me again. and he didn't reply, so about 6 hours ago, i texted him saying, 'why are you ignoring me, u didn't reply. cos i'm right? you don't want to see me again after you got what you wanted off me, sex? what's going on? i don't understand you anymore.' and he just replied saying, i was busy that's all, i haven't done owt wrong, i'm back for a week and i've got lots to do.' and i didn't reply cos i didn't know what to say to that, then he texted me half an hour later saying, you ignoring me now? and i put no i just didn't know what to say.. i put something along the lines of, i understand you're busy, but you could make a bit more of an effort etc :/ and he still hasn't replied. i know to you people reading this, this may sound like he's using me for sex, but i do believe he loves me, but sometimes he's off with me and i don't know why. argh, this really gets me down and i cry myself to sleep sometimes. i don't know what to do. my head says leave him and get over him, but my heart pines for him, pines for the lad i fell in love with and was so sweet til he turned like this.
Nono says:
Seriously, why are men like this? Two years of my life I have spend either trying to get my ex back or trying to forget him. When the time came I decided to forget all about him he was there, just into time to make sure I wouldn't forget him. Then hope came and all he did was mess me up all over again. I have loved him unconditionally and he was keeping all of his options open. In the end, just a couple of months ago I begged him to let me go. Either you step up and be with me or you leave me alone, I close all doors for you, you won't ever get a chance again. And I even said "If you don't want to answer now, then take some to think about it, but eventually you have to let me go because I can't do this dance you do, anymore!" He didn't answer, but I told my self that he was to much of a coward to tell me to my face that he would give it up. Almost 3 months passed and on a lonely sunday he texted me. He first he said: "I have thought about it. Would you like to hear it? Or did you decide that is already over between us?" My heart was punching through my chest. I texted him that I was curious to know what he wanted to say. He said that those last words of mine made him think and he wanted to invest in us and if I wanted the same. I told him that I wanted that too. So he asked me to meet. We met a weak later and we talked about everything that we did wrong and why he kept leaving me and coming back to me. In the end I didn't know what to say anymore and just like that in the moment of silence he proposed to me. I said yes, but in our culture you have to ask the father first, so we can't go public yet (but his entire family knows). Now we have to wait for my parents to return from a long vacation and I am getting more and more anxious. I caught my self thinking of him changing his mind every minute of the day. Even before I sleep I wonder "When will he tell me he doesn't want to marry me?" It drives me insane, somehow I have made my self believe that he's not marrying me out of love (because I love him so much more) but out of convience. I'm afraid he's settling because I was an easy option.
It's become a very long post, but I really needed to write this down because I am going crazy and I don't want to talk about it with friends.
Chloe says:
These are all signs your seeing an immature asshole! I've had this problem, met this guy, he was great, funny and I should have seen the signs at the beginning when he was txting me constantly, saying he liked me, even saying 'you make me happy' within about 2 weeks of meeting him! He would want to spend every night at my house, we got along great and I honestly thought he liked me. He would look at me longingly, couldnt stay away from me, would cuddle me and kiss me and no didnt seem to care when some nights we didnt have sex. This guy is a hardcore pot smoker and seems to not be quite right in the head, he doesnt sleep at all and barely eats either. He also sells pot. I do believe that smoking £60-£70 worth of pot a day and sleeping for about 1 hour a night must play with someones head, and I think I used this as an excuse for some of his bizarre behaviour. He would often say I need to take you out somewhere when I sort my head out, and often saying his head is mashed, which I have no doubt it is. Anyway I havn't now seen him for a week and a half, he said he was going to get me a card and come and see me on my birthday (his idea) then the day after (my birthday) said he couldnt come because he had no money, he has bought a motorbike wich i think is why, I said to him whatever seeya in a bit, he then kept sending me messages on facebook saying why you being like that, then I ignored him and he said is that how it is then..I decided yesterday I cant be bothered with this head messing idiot that no longer can be bothered coming seeing me, he txts me once or twice a day to ask what im doing, and when he finds out im at home doing nothing thats it for the rest of the day, but when I go out with a mutual male friend of ours, he always txts me..this guy is so friggin confusing I deleted him off facebook last night and deleted his number, surprise surprise he hasnt even noticed yet, when he does if he doesnt message me I will have my confirmation that he has gone off me, and if he does ask me why i will say because you obviously dont want to come and see me anymore so why bother txting me everyday…I dont want to be messed around constantly waiting for some guy to txt saying shall i come to yours tonight, this guy is an asshole and I should have seen the signs early on..maybe he lost interest I dont know, its his loss and i often dont understand as I am very goodlooking and have an really great figure, maybe thats what attracted him but I also have a bubbly nice personality to! He is average looking and hangs out with a bunch of losers, I have guys after me all over so why doesn't he want me? He would also act like he wanted to be with me (and believe me Im not stupid I can tell the signs if a guy does actually like you), but never asked me out. I came to the conclusion he was either using me for sex or he has gone off me/got bored. Atleast have the decency to tell me and not keep txting me so I can forget about the loser and move on!
Nicole says:
Chloe, did we date the same guy???!!! My ex-AC pothead would do the exact same thing with the texting to see what I was up to. Just wanting to know if I was out with another guy, I'm sure. They don't exactly want us, but don't want anyone else to have us either!
veebs says:
I've met so many hot-and-colders! My current one spent a week texting me dozens and dozens of times a day, saying that I would make him a great wife, that he gets a good vibe from me, if we're still together next year let's get engaged, he's crazy about me, can't stop thinking about me, then went almost completely cold with the excuse that he's stressed at work.
Meanwhile I'm getting into my stride with this man, feeling chipper for the first time in a good while and then left wondering why all of a sudden he's gone off the boil.
I just hate this kind of BS too; sh*t or get off the pot is the saying, I believe. Stop wasting my time.
Cee says:
Wow. its like the universe sent me to your site. i have been dating someone for a year. i racked my brain, talked this to death and couldnt figure out what i was doing wrong. there is a little bit of him in each story. i really need to figure out something. i dont want to be here in a year. I didnt even know what to call it until now. thanks. I thought it was just me
private says:
great article. i can really relate to this.
my advice to every one in a relationship like this is to get out while it's in the early stages. i stayed for years dating on and off the same guy.. since i always thought maybe this time he'd be different and actually be consistent… but each time i just kept getting my hopes up. In the end after years of hot and cold.. he finally convinced me how he would be there for me and that he really wanted to be with me… i finally believed all his promises since i started seeing that he was putting in a decent effort and not just his words..guess what? just when i finally believed him, One week later he broke up with me and wouldn't tell me the reason for the break up. Why couldn't he just break up with me before he tried so hard in convincing me that he wanted to be with me?? it would have saved me the heartache and him the amount of effort and time it took him to try convince me. i just don't get it. it's been 2 years since our break up and i still can't get over it. it wasn't the fact that we broke up. it was the way he broke up with me that i couldn't get over. the way he did it was just so cruel. to build some one's hopes up really high to just squish them in the end. Now i have 0 confidence & 0 trust in people.. every time some one does something nice for me or says something nice. i always think its fake and don't believe them so to every one going through this.. get out before he ruins your confidence and trust in people and breaks your heart..
I really regret ever meeting him because what i miss most about myself is i guess my innocence which i lost. before i met him.. i used to see the world through rose colored glasses. i didn't know people could be so cruel.
Allison says:
Most of us can relate to your situation, as it was very painful and damaging to the self-esteem.
You can turn this around for yourself, if you desire. After my relationship, I recognized that I had low boundaries and poor self-esteem, this situation made me recognize that I had to make positive changes in every area of my life-eliminating toxic friends and establishing boundaries. It took this painful situation to see what I was lacking and what changes were necessary to have a fulfilling life-our problems existed before we met these men.
Make this your epiphany and grow, don't continue to give this man so much power! There are plenty of good people out there, but we must be more discerning in our choices: don't give people numerous chances when they repeatedly disappoint.
private says:
thanks alison. woah that was a very quick reply.
private says:
to everyone going through this and nitpicking everything about yourself trying to figure out why he is doing this to you and thinking that there is something wrong you did for him to behave this way towards you. it is not you. i did that to myself and i am now slowly trying to rebuild myself again.
now the only things i look for in a man.. is consistency & honesty. lol no more hot & cold guys for me thanks.
Lesley says:
I'm new to this website an as well as the above article am loving the depth of the posts and the consideration and wisdom shown by NML.I'm in my mid forties now and the comments above resound to me concerning my last relationship, where I spent five years with a puppet master, finally getting out when I realised it didn't really matter if I was there or not. This man stacked up his own self esteem by controlling mine and eventualy ran out of hot/cold tactics. I lost a lot, emotionally, financially and crucially energy! Reason I 'd welcome advce on my situation is i've very recently(after eighteen months) ventured out dating again… I 'm bricking it. I think I 'm going to make the same mistake again. Example…went out with guy I met two or three weeks ago on Sunday, good date, we'd been e mailing loads before that, lots of flirting, nothing heavy, just friendly and light. He seemed very interested, complimented me on my looks, seemed keen.
We kissed, it was lovely, nothing more than that. Now I 'm starting to panic that he won't get back and that i'm about to be manipulated by a fiend again.Too early, I hear you say…calm down but I did kind of like this man and don't want to blow it. I won't phone him or text first, doesn't feel right. My question is am I allowing the negativity surrounding my earlier relationship to conquer and control me and how do I stop it? I also have really worked on valuing myself and want to recognise the signs earlier this time….any help appreciated..x
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Bureau of Labor Statistics, U.S. Department of Labor, The Economics Daily, Productivity jump for nonfinancial corporations in 2002 on the Internet at http://www.bls.gov/opub/ted/2003/may/wk2/art02.htm (visited October 09, 2015).
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