text:
I never planned on having children, so the fact that I have 3 almost feels like I've been punked by one of those "never say never" situations. I remember being 18 in the women's underwear section of Target with my mother and sister, arguing with my mother that I didn't "owe" her any grandchildren. I had absolutely nothing to do with the physical event that led to my conception; that was purely her choice and I was determined then that mine would be absolutely no biological children. I preferred adoption, if I decided to have children at all. The aspiring world changer in me, freshly graduated from high school, had her sights set on joining the Peace Corp and from there, who knew where life would take me. I wanted to be free as a bird, on the front lines of a cause, making my voice heard, putting my hands to work for others, advancing justice while rocking out to Prince. Children? Pfffft. Continue reading
Category Archives: Confessions
I'm Here…Just Consumed By Life
Sorry I haven't stopped by here since May 20th. Life's been pretty consuming as of late, and I'm not as good about writing my way through periods like this as I was a year ago. Things are busy busy busy and I'll be honest-sitting down to write has proved to be more difficult than I would like it to be. The words are there, waiting to be given life, the stories are stacked up on shelves in my brain, the desire is there, but it all just becomes a jumbled mess when I sit down to type or even write in my journal.
Part of it is because my brain is so scattered, thanks to my disorder and my recent hypomanic episodes and cycling. Part of it is because I become to preoccupied by my compulsions to clean, organize, and rearrange everything in our apartment. Part of it is because I'm fatigued and the energy I do have is poured into being pregnant, mama, wife, housekeeper, cook, errand runner…the desire to create or give anything back to myself lingers quietly in folds of my heart, but never finds its way to execution. My mind is scattered and my hands feel inadequate, empty, unable to form the words or images that are mixed in the chaos.
Part of it is because I've become completely immersed in a new parenting approach with Alex and in implementing new routines and techniques I hope make like easier for him…and for all of us, really. I'm seeing how different and significant some of his needs are and in a lot of ways re-learning this whole parenting thing. From how I discipline, to the words and tone I use when speaking to him, to even how much pressure I apply when I touch or hug him, my whole posture towards parenting and mothering him has changed. Most of my days are consumed with being engaged with him in ways I wasn't before. Learning about sensory processing disorder, autism, and what we're learning from his therapists since April has given me new ways to engage and interact with him that are different from how I did before. It's been quite the learning curve-there's so much more to be aware of these days! I'm more watchful, taking note of the slightest change in attitude or behavior (positive or negative), more apprehensive and mindful about how changes in routine, however slight, will impact him from moment to moment. In some ways I feel like I'm on high alert from the time he wakes up until he finally falls asleep after I've put him back in his bed and given him a deep pressure squeeze for the fifth or sixth time. I've had to become much more patient, learning to move at his pace, and how to move him along faster in a way that he can understand when we're short on time. I've found that all of this has taken an energy that I, especially being pregnant, barely have the reserves for. The simplest things from washing his hands to getting dressed to helping desensitize his facial muscles before his speech therapy sessions is all a process; exhausting and consuming, but one I'm committed to helping all of us navigate and learn as best we can.
Part of it is because I'm committed to being well during this pregnancy and am forcing myself to focus on self-care. This becomes increasingly difficult when pregnancy is kicking my ass, particularly when migraines attack, and my blood pressure is low. The migraines have been pretty frequent this pregnancy; during a good week I only get one, during my worst I've had them for 4 days straight. Functioning when I'm a wreck physically feels impossible, but I somehow get through making sure the kids have what they need for the day and that's about it. Aside from eating and taking my medications, taking care of myself takes a backseat and I have to fight to make things like taking a shower, combing my hair, getting in any kind of exercise or leisure activity a priority. Overall I'm doing better on the self-care front than I have in the past, especially during my last pregnancy.
All of this focus on concentration on these other areas of my life leave little for my writing here and painting….advocating even. I had all of these plans for my creative pursuits this year but the mental and creative bandwidth I need to execute them isn't what I'd like it to be. For some reason I can't seem to find space for those two to fit in my life as of late and this does sadden me. Frustrates me. Leaves me to wonder how I'll fit them in when there are THREE children to give my time and attention to. I'm hoping I can find a way….I'm in awe of those who've found a way to balance and navigate it all.
At any rate, while I find it hard to write and paint these days, I have found it easy to keep up with vlogging-probably because I can just do it on my phone while I'm on the go and have a few minutes alone. So I think that's just what I'm going to have to do for now because it's the one thing that I can keep up with that fits in best with everything else. It's the one thing I feel I can keep up with right now on this front. I'm hoping to write here during the summer, but know that if you don't see me here, you'll be able to find me on my YouTube channel, addyeBeesWorld, where I'll mostly be sharing the nitty-gritty of navigating bipolar disorder while being a pregnant mama. Feel free to watch and subscribe-I've done videos for weeks 15, 16, and 17 so far (I tell you what we're having in my second video for week 16!) And of course, I'll always be on Twitter :) (@addyeB)
So that's where I've been, what I've been up to, what's going on. I'm still here…I'm just consumed is all.
Maybe I just need to Lean In…anyone have Sheryl Sandberg's number?
Fear has become my constant companion these past months, sowing seeds of doubt, confusion, and discouragement that have taken root deep down inside of me where my essence and passions are conceived. It has choked my creativity, inhibiting my freedom … Continue reading
My Hard Truth
Before I spill my guts here today I want to make sure you understand something from the very beginning: What I'm going to talk about speaks solely to MY experience as a mother who's lived with antenatal depression and PPD and who has a child with developmental delays and is on the autism spectrum. I can't speak for other women and their experience or how their illness-treated or untreated-may or may not have had an impact on their child's development. I'm choosing to share this because honestly? I'm having a hard time processing it on my own. I don't have a therapist to talk with about it right now, and keeping it all to myself is only allowing shame to breed ugly thoughts and emotions; thoughts and emotions I definitely don't need right now considering I have a family to take care of, am currently off of 2 of my meds until my 2nd trimester, and I have a new baby growing within me. This is how things have played out for us-I'm in no way claiming this is how it will play out for others.
11 months ago, I wrote a post about Alex's 2yr well visit and how his pediatrician at the time had expressed his opinion that the developmental delays we were concerned about were linked (at least in part) to my untreated antenatal depression, PPD & anxiety. You can read it here; doing so will give you more context.
When I wrote that post I was hurt, wracked with guilt and defensive. I was confused-I didn't know what to make of what he had said and I honestly didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to believe it because I was afraid to. Allowing myself to acknowledge he may have been right would've just ripped the band aid off of the wound I had worked like hell in therapy to stop bleeding.
But like I mentioned in my post last year, I had read the studies, the articles, what the experts had to say about untreated depression in mothers and it's effects on their children. I had read the stats about low birth weight and premature labor and caught my breath every time, knowing how small he was, how I'd gone into labor 3 weeks early-but I secretly hoped he wouldn't "fit" the others about developmental struggles. (Again, links to some of those studies and articles are in the post linked above.) The knowledge pulled and gnawed at me every time I struggled to engage with Alex. The shifts in mood, the struggles to get him to do simple things like eat, wash his hands, or even just accept hugs and kisses from Bertski and I without withdrawing first. Every time I watched him shut down around people, or scream in terror when approached by children on the playground, my insides, my heart twisted. When he stopped eating nearly everything and would only touch hard, rough textured food….when we were told by early intervention he was delayed at least 25% in speech and possibly more in other developmental areas….as I watched his symptoms become more pronounced over the course of the past 11 months, my mama gut begged me to turn a deaf ear to fear and just face reality, listen to what it was trying to tell me. I wasn't going to be able to help Alex if I didn't. I wasn't going to be able to be the mother he needed me to be if I didn't.
So I did, and I started talking to Bertski about it a few months ago. He expressed that he had been watching Alex and having the same thoughts about his behavior and development and what had possibly caused him to develop the way he had. We agreed that in addition to my illness being untreated for so long possibly being a factor, the instability of our relationship during Alex's first two years was likely a factor as well. It was a tough set of conversations…thinking about them still makes me cringe. But I'm glad we had them because it enabled us to move forward in seeking help. We knew Alex needed more help than we could give him and WE as his parents needed help parenting him. His issues had started to become beyond us and the daily struggle of trying to navigate them was overwhelmingly frustrating and discouraging.
His 3 year visit was two weeks ago, with a new pediatrician here in Austin. We told her everything, with her interjecting a question or two every now and then. She listened attentively until we finished spilling our parental guts out to her. She was quiet for a few minutes and then started to give her thoughts: "It's obvious he's very smart-I can see that for myself in just the short time he's been in here. But from my brief observation and what you've told me I would go ahead and say he's definitely on the autism spectrum. My initial guess would be high functioning but he does have significant speech and socialization deficiencies. Further evaluations will give us more information. The good news is we're catching it now-early intervention is crucial. We'll get him into various therapies and by kindergarten I'm confident he'll fit in just fine with other kids in a regular classroom environment. He'll catch up, he'll excel. I'm sure even within just 6 months we'll see significant improvement."
We walked out of that appointment with an answer, with hope even, but also with some sadness. A heaviness rested on us for the remainder of the day. Even though we had been preparing ourselves to potentially hear such a diagnosis for Alex, the reality of it still hit us pretty hard. I can't speak for Bertski, but I know for me, the guilt was excruciating that day. I called and talked with the pediatrician about it some more, explaining my illness and how it impacted my ability to bond and interact with him during my pregnancy and his first year and a half. I expressed to her what my difficulties had been and she didn't shame me for them:
"Based off of the research, your history, and where he is developmentally, I'd say it is highly likely that there's an association. Being depressed and not having effective treatment can definitely have the kind of impact on a child's development and behavior like we're seeing in Alex. But you don't have to blame yourself for it. You're helping him now-he's older and you're recovered and managing your Bipolar as best you can-that's what's important. Yes, this happened, but it's ok, you're getting him help just like you sought help. It's not your fault, Mrs. Nieves."
No, being depressed during my pregnancy and struggling with PPD and anxiety the first 2 years of Alex's life wasn't my fault.
I would even go as far as to say that not being treated for so long wasn't my fault either-there was so much I just didn't know, and when I did express what I was enduring to those around me and my OB, I was told it was all "normal,"…given time, I'd be "fine."
You know, they say we can only do better when we know better. Given my circumstances, I know I did my best and when I couldn't, I fought to.
I don't think I failed Alex. I do think my illness failed both of us-it robbed us of having a strong start and that's what hurts me the most when I think about how it's impacted him.
But I'm learning now how to use the hurt to lay a new foundation for us to build upon. I'm learning how to advocate for him and learn all I can to help him like I've done with myself and my illness. Alex has started ABA therapy and is already showing progress. He has upcoming evaluations with speech therapist to work on improving his language and an occupational therapist to help with his autistic and sensory related struggles.
Accepting that there's possibly an association between my illness during pregnancy and Alex's development struggles is a hard truth to stare in the face y'all. I know it's not everyone's truth, but it's MY truth and I'm working hard once again to process it, heal from it, ditch the guilt over it, and move on now that I know where he's at. I'm not sharing this to say that what's true for me and Alex is true for all moms with untreated antenatal depression & PPD. It's not at all. But I am sharing it to say that you know those effects they talk about in those studies? I'm watching my son live with them. It DOES happen. It's in the minority, but it does happen-I wish it was talked about more-not to shame anyone, but to help women understand that they don't have to BE ashamed that this happens. Does that make sense? I hope it does.
I'm not here to scare anyone or have you think that you and your child are in the same boat as we are. Definitely not. But I am here to say that if you ARE in the same boat we are-It's ok. It's not your fault. Illness may have robbed you and your child of a strong start, but don't let guilt rob you of anything else. I know it hurts like hell, and you feel like you could've done more, but you did your best with what you had and don't let shame deceive you into thinking otherwise. You're still an amazing mama to your child. You're not a bad mother. Our children will be okay because they have us and they have others to help them get to where they need to be.
If your child is showing signs of delays-don't let shame keep you from getting help. Ask for evaluations and resources. Talk to their doctor and ask about Early Intervention. Be open. Be honest. Be their advocate just as you've been for yourself.
I hope this made sense. It's late and I've had a rather emotional day. Also? I could REALLY use a friend in this particular boat.
I Actually Wrote This with a Pen…In a Journal.
This year I said I would get back to journaling, art journaling like I used to when I was 19…20…21…22…before I became a terrified single mom whose only existence revolved around one word: SURVIVE. So….I signed up for Chookooloonks "create.2013" e-course and have been doing the prompts delivered to my inbox every morning, in addition to writing two pages of whatever's sitting around in my brain. This is what I wrote last night after word vomiting my mania on Twitter.
Moving…everything is hurried, frenzied, congested like commuters getting off the subway train in a rush to make it to some meeting at some corporate job they hate feeling so restricted in. By everything I mean my thoughts, my words, emotions in conflict with each other; they slam into one another pressing themselves against the walls of my mind and against my tongue. The pressure that comes with attempting restraint always proves to be a force I can't reckon with, and they come spilling out, tumbling over each other and onto the people I interact with daily:
My fiance
My friends
My Twitter feed
I would say the "friends" on Facebook too, but I officially broke it off with my dealer Zuckerberg a few weeks ago in attempt to kick my 4 1/2 year habit; a habit that went from being a job requirement to becoming my sounding board and my lifeline. It became the what I barely had in my "real" life-support, understanding, acceptance, help, community. But after 4 years and it's no longer a lifeline and I need to extricate myself from it. Social media addiction is a real disease…or at least that's what WebMd told me. It also told me this zit on my face is really a rare disease not even that House guy on TV has heard of and I'm going to die within a week. Thank God it's not a real doctor…
The only people who aren't affected are my kids. Sometimes they see Mommie less patient with a sharper tongue and a low tolerance, but what parent doesn't have these moments, right? When it comes to restraining the symptoms of my illness I do my best to stuff them WAY. DOWN. into the deeper parts of me and quickly sit on top of them as you would a trunk or luggage case overpacked and bulging against its zippers. I try to take the less destructive parts of it and use them to my-our-advantage. I allow it to explode just enough so it amplifies the best parts of me that enable me to love and nurture my boys to my fullest capacity, doing things that my very BOY boys like to do:
Run around the house giggling and laughing until I'm begging air to please come back into my lungs…
Jump on the couch…
Watch cartoons….
Eat peanut butter and jelly and PopTarts and have breakfast for dinner…
Lego Star Wars and Kung Fu Panda on Xbox….
Shooting my imaginary hot pink laser gun at the red berries on the trees we pass by every day on our walk back from school…
Singing and dancing on the sidewalk caring less about the cars driving past us and more about taking the time to create a memory I hope they hold on to when life doesn't treat them so nice and they need to be reminded that they are loved beyond measure and matter to someone….to ME.
Was that a run on sentence? Not sure because grammar rules go out the window when your thoughts spill out of you faster than you can type, leaving you with no choice but to chase after them….panting….yelling "WAIT-slow down, you're going too fast, I can't maintain this speed."
Do they listen? No….never. Not in this state. Even if I manage to keep it together on the outside so no one can see the chaos dancing gleefully behind my eyes, my thoughts always find a way to betray me and find their voice in the words I speak….
I don't know what the point of all this is, my writing it down. What I do know is that it's jumbled and erratic, nonsensical even. Hello, welcome to a mind hijacked by mania. I guess I should be technical and say "hypomania" but if you ask me, mania is mania and when you're experiencing it, you don't feel a textbook distinction. You feel your grasp on your mind and energy weakening and your willpower caving to mania's seductive allure. You can't see that it's deceiving. You don't realize it distorts your vision and perception of yourself and the world around you. It's "fun" I guess at first, but always leads to agitation, uneasiness, restlessness, and paranoia eventually…at least for me. In the midst of its chaos I can always hear a small part of me whispering "this is temporary-it will end, so prepare yourself." It does, it does indeed end, but not until you've (I've?) lost control of your (my?) mind and it's racing at a dangerous speed the human brain isn't designed to handle and it sends you (me, definitely)flying off a cliff…..soaring…then free falling to the ground below, a ground that is unforgiving and jars you (again, ME) back to reality. It's painful really, like smacking your (my) face into asphalt.
Ok, maybe that was a dramatic description but I don't find it to be an exaggeration….
Do any of the metaphors I used in an attempt to paint a picture of my manic thoughts make sense? I'm guessing not…I'm not as good at describing and tying thoughts together in a cohesive way like I used to be….you know when I prided myself on proper grammar and "technical" writing. But this isn't a research paper I'm turning in for a grade, so it doesn't really matter does it? So go f—yourself grammar police. Go nitpick someone else's sentence structure.
I can't sleep. I need to, but of course my inability to control my compulsions during these episodes has me checking Twitter on my phone every 45 seconds and letting my crazy come out in 140 character sprints. I always regret this later, feeling ashamed of letting people see this side of me. I've tried staying away, but you know, OCD goes hand in hand with my mania and I suck at saying no. At restraint. Obviously. I try to use Twitter as a means to distract me from what I'm experiencing…but I always end of being swept away in the excitement and euphoria, especially when something great happens (like getting my engagement ring and wedding band! Yep, that happened tonight. The sales lady cried when he put it on my finger. So did we in the van later on the way home.), and I let them speak for me. Then I come down from the high just enough to realize I was Socialite Sally-you know the person at the party who's had too much to drink and can't shut up?-and I feel foolish for making an ass out of myself. When I go back to college I'm going to ditch social work and just major in being bipolar and minor in embarrassment.
Do I have anything else to say? My hand hurts. I should really scrawl my words more on paper than across a computer screen. I've missed this, the feel of paper, the smell of ink as it emanates from its tip, forever encapsulating my words on the page in front of me. I guess posting my words digitally is permanent too, but it doesn't feel the same, it's not as….personal? Is that the word? Not sure, but that's as close as I'm going to get at this point.
My heart feels like it's about to burst. This clonazepam hasn't kicked in yet. It usually does. Maybe I'm building a tolerance to it. Which sucks because that means eventually, maybe next week, maybe 10 years from now I'll have to be on a bigger dose and it'll stop working.
I should post this, even though I said I'm going to take a break from the blog. I still intend to….I just keep finding things I want to share. I have to force myself to wait and just write them down elsewhere because I do indeed need a break to focus on other things….like actually writing on paper.
I'm going to post this…because I feel obligated to, that whole transparency thing. People should know this is what it's like, at least what it's like for me, being bipolar, being manic. More importantly if I share it there then maybe someone who needs to remember that they aren't alone will come across it, find themselves in my words, and be able to feel less hopeless…because they aren't alone…
So that's it then. That's all I've got. 5 pages of erratic nonsense.
I'll take it…it's my life after all.
Wednesday Can Suck It & My Bipolar Life v.5
Today has been a struggle, the hardest I've had since leaving the hospital. My mind is loud and overcrowded again. Paranoia is creeping in again whispering it's lies. I'm trying to ignore the urge to disconnect from everything. The depression … Continue reading
Yes, I'm Scared of the Dark. Terrified, Really.
I have a lot of fears.
Well, maybe not a lot, but at least two or three that seize my body with terror & fill my mind with awful images & scenarios whenever I think of them.
Like drowning.
The thought of not being able to draw in a breath without choking on water & being submerged in a body of water petrifies me.
And snakes…my toes curled up & my heart nearly flew out of my chest just typing that s-word…so I think it's best we just move right along to my final fear:
I'm terrified of the dark.
Yes, I'm 29 years old and I'm afraid of the dark-have been since I was a kid. Even as grown woman & mother of two kids, a small part of me is always convinced something will emerge from it to "get me," even though my rational mind knows this isn't the case.
But that's the thing about fears, right? They aren't always rational, are they? (Follow me, I'm trying to go somewhere, I promise.)
I think what scares me the most about darkness is that it places everything it covers into The Land of the Unknown…what was sure & recognizable in the light becomes shadowy, fuzzy & unclear in the dark. For a control freak like myself, I'm sure you can imagine why this freaks me out. I wish I could tell you that I don't stay awake some nights wondering if the shadow in the closet is really from the ironing board that I KNOW is there…or from some horrific figment of my imagination it's put there to f– with me. Seriously, I wish I could but I can't. I don't do it much when I'm with someone else but if I'm by myself? Forget it. I'm cowering under the covers trying not to think about how unsafe I feel…Sometimes, just to shut up & shut down the fears screaming in my mind I have to actually get up, turn on a light, and go physically touch objects around the room I'm in…just for reassurance.
Crazy, right? Weird, right? Yes I know. Stupid? Probably…but as I lay here in my bed typing this and trying to tell myself I'm not going to wake up with some stranger laying next to or on me, and that the boys & I are VERY safe, I'm realizing that my fear of the dark is really just a fear of uncertainty. I hate not knowing. Ambiguity and I are not friends. Not being able to see & know everything around me leaves me in a very unsettled place emotionally…which disrupts me mentally, and manifests itself physically into agitation, irritability, paranoia, and crippling anxiety. I even get intrusive thoughts sometimes. My mind smells any hint of fear & just takes off in about 20 different directions, all of which lead to something horrific happening. If I can't see or know everything there is about something, a person, or where I have to go, I'm a wreck and not too pleasant to be around. This is one of the reasons I hate getting lost. Can't. Stand it.
And it's one of the reasons why even though growing up a military brat acquainted me with change & taught me the importance of adjusting & adapting to it, I'm not very good at embracing it like I should be. I know, you're thinking to yourself "The chick who changes her hair color every time she blinks is afraid of change? What the hell?" But seriously, while I may not be afraid of changing how I look, I am terrified of how change impacts my life in other areas.
I like change…There are times my restless and adventurous little soul yearns for it…but then when it shows up ready to deliver I promptly begin to freak the hell out. I know-I don't get the contradiction either, trust me.
So even though I was dying to pack up & move across the country…am giddy at the thought of marrying the nerd of my life…am relieved to be taking a break from work & school and looking forward to just being MOM….here I am, laying in a hotel room in Austin, TX, (IN THE DARK!) absolutely paralyzed by my fear of the uncertain…of what's unknown…imagine Usain Bolt running around at record speed inside my head waving 500 "what if?" flags stirring up a fear tornado. That's my mind right now.
A fear tornado. I'm dead smack in the center staring wide eyed at all my fears & questions swirling furiously around me.
What happens if Bertski doesn't come back from PA next week because his train derails and crashes and I'm forced to be here by myself? How would we survive & live without him?
What if someone breaks in here or attacks us while he's gone? How would I defend us?
What if he changes his mind & doesn't want to marry me?
What if he hates it here?
What if I hate it here? And the boys? What if this was a mistake?
We haven't found a place yet-what if we don't? How long can we stay here at the hotel? Will they kick us out? Where will we go?
What if by choosing to "just" be Mom, I lose the other parts of me that make me…ME? What will happen to my passions, my goals, my ambition? What if I don't go back to school & I regret it? Will my children think less of me if I don't have a degree? Will I be setting the bar too low for them if I don't go back?
Can we survive off of just one income?
What if the boys get sick or need to go to the doctor? Or me? Or Bertski? We don't have health insurance…
What if I'm not strong enough to handle all of this change & I sink into an episode or my illness rages out of control again?
I could go on…but I'll stop the list there. I know some of these fears are irrational, slightly silly & maybe even stupid-I know this, I do. But there are others that are valid & real and they're the ones that cause me the most unease. I'm incredibly happy we moved. Grateful for the people we've met here & the connections we've made despite being states away from family & friends who have supported us for years. Thrilled that I'm doing this with the man I love dearly and my boys…
But I'm also scared shitless over the unknowns of this venture, of everything that sits in the dark, and restricts my vision of the future. We've executed a plan that brought us here, but large amounts of that plan have been rooted in uncertainty & our desire to just stick together & "make it happen"until we're settled.
I'm afraid of the dark, because not being able to see what's in front of me leaves me feeling very unsettled…uneasy…uncomfortable. I'm trying to take it all in stride & just learn to be okay with not knowing. I'm trying to embrace the nuances of change without trying to control it too much. It's not easy, but I'm trying.
Well there you have it. I told you some of my fears, what are yours?
Changing Seasons & New Beginnings
"It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change." -Charles Darwin
Change. The past 6 months of 2012 have all been about change.
We left for Austin Tuesday night. Excited & full of adrenaline over FINALLY being able to enter this new season of our lives, we drove close to 900 miles.
We made it all the way to Nashville without any major meltdowns from the kids, or heavy traffic. We found a pretty decent hotel to rest in for the night, giving the boys their first hotel experience. They LOVED it, jumping on the beds, begging to ride the elevators repeatedly, explore the lobby & pick up swag from the gift shop.
Changes. New beginnings.
When Bertski & I sat down to talk over pancakes & coffee on that cloudy Thursday back in April, we talked a lot about change, and realized we shared a desire for it and a sense that it was on the way. We both felt stagnant…stuck…tapped out and feeling like we needed a change of scenery.
Since I had just visited Austin and fallen in love with it, and it's a place Bertski's always wanted to visit, it seemed like the most logical choice for a fresh start & a good city for us to raise the boys in, with its laid back vibe being a welcome respite from the fast & frantic grind of the northeast.
With the decision to relocate came other major decisions.
We traded in both cars & purchased our first minivan, a symbol of our commitment to being & building a family. It was also a symbol of the end of Bertski's batchelorhood….something he embraced with open arms & a bottle of Merlot. :)
We both made a commitment to live our lives again instead of just survive them. The roller coaster & trials of the past 3 years took a heavy toll on us and had us both living in survival mode, forcing us to abandon things we're passionate about. For Bertski that's pursuing a career in neuroscience, artificial intelligence & robotics; thus scaling back on his work in the IT sector.
For myself, while I thought my passion was for school & pursuing a degree in counseling & a certification in dance movement therapy, I started realizing this year that what I truly have a passion for is helping people and writing…being creative in general. I also realized that while I enjoy academics, the stress & pressure of a full-time course load were just too much for me, mostly because of my illness. This year I found college very triggering for me. I had two severe manic episodes and 3 pretty dark depressions that had me contemplating suicide. Sure I was growing & my mind was expanding, which I loved, but it was starting to take a toll on my mental health & ability to be engaged with the boys. I wanted to quit but was scared doing so meant I was failing myself & more importantly, the boys. Besides, if I wasn't in school, what would I do? My disability from the VA wouldn't be enough to live on…As a single parent I couldn't afford not to work, but without a degree my chances of getting a good enough job with benefits able to sustain us was slim…and while Medicaid & food stamps were a huge help, I didn't want to have to rely on them as our only means of being able to make it from month to month. But then Bertski & I got back together and suddenly I wasn't on my own anymore…and then something my social work professor said during class one day helped me make my decision. "Some of you," he said, " will get your degrees, your credentials & be great social workers, counselors, and be able to make a significant difference in people's lives. But some of you won't have to have the degree & credentials to do that-your life experience and desire to serve & help others will be enough to make as much of an impact." That hit me hard, and I spent the rest of that class realizing what he said was true. I decided that day that I was taking a break from school.
I've decided instead to do something I haven't been able to in 6 years: stay home with the boys…and pursue my desires to focus on writing & volunteering. If I'm going to be out of the house I'd like to spend my time volunteering at a crisis center, working a suicide prevention hotline, mediating a support group for others with BP, or helping veterans. I'd like to finish my book, explore my love for painting, and get back into dancing. I also want to give myself time to have more periods of stability & fewer manic & depressive episodes.
So…I feel as though I spent my 20's gaining my independence (military), becoming a mother, healing from my abuse, and finding myself…now that I'm turning 30 in a few months, I just want to take some time to take care of & enjoy the person who's emerged from the ashes of the past few years…and enjoy my family.
We both know that making these changes include a certain amount of risk and that it won't be easy starting over and changing our approach to life…choosing to live life instead of just surviving it (especially in a new city) is a huge leap of faith for us, but a choice we're hoping brings us a lot of reward.
I'll post later this week/weekend about what makes me nervous & even a little fearful about all of these changes…until then, tell me about the last BIG change or transition you & your family made.
And Then My Heart Exploded & All I Could Do was Cry
I want to say this in a way that's eloquent & inspirational. I want to use all the right words, and craft this into a beautiful piece of writing, that carries the weight of my thoughts & emotions, and helps you fully grasp how much this moment means to me….and even though they don't know it yet, to my boys.
But I can't. Words are failing me. There are only tears….sobs, actually, as I lay here in the boy's empty room, eyes closed, heart bursting with gratitude…
…and love. For the first time in my 29 years of living I feel loved and whole instead of unworthy & broken. I feel peace where there used to be agony, and joy seeping through the cracks of my deepest sorrows.
12 months ago I was obsessed with death. I spent my waking moments torn between not wanting to leave my boys without their mother & wanting to rid them of the one who felt like she had failed them.
I'm glad to say, a year later, I'm not in that place, and I'm not looking to find relief in death. I've found it instead in 200mg of Lamictal, .25mg of Xanax, and 2mg of Pimozide, taken at 10am, every single day…and in a diagnosis that's forced me to make myself and my well being a priority-a first for me.
It's been a year full of growth & healing thanks to therapy.
If you would've told me last year I'd be right here, laying on the floor, free from nearly all the shit I've been carrying since childhood, I would've just smiled politely, said thanks, and walked away not believing a word of it.
But here I am. Loved and whole. Healed and stronger than before. Embracing life instead of plotting to escape it…focused on LIVING it instead of just existing & surviving it.
My boys have their mother, their parents back together, and they have each other…a far cry from what they had just a year ago.
So I'm just laying here, in my almost empty apartment, marveling at how far we've come…excited for the new beginning that lies ahead…Tears streaming down my face as I whisper "thank you" over & over again, my heart exploding in joy each time.
I've come full circle.
Things I'm Afraid to Tell You
I was invited to write this post by a group of bloggers who are participating in a series of posts called "Things I'm Afraid to Tell You". The TIATTY movement was inspired by a post from Jess Constable of Make … Continue reading


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Tag Archives: elf on the shelf
Enjoy The Simple Magic. Write An Excuse Note For Your Elf.
15 minutes ago, I was tucking Kendall into bed, except not actually "tucking." More like tossing a lump of a blanketView full post »
2013 Inappropriate Elf Winners
I AM SO SORRY. Well, mostly just sorry I thought I'd announce this before Christmas when I was planning back in November. ButView full post »
#InappropriateElf Contest Extension Because The Baby Owns Me
Hey! Guess what I just decided? The Inappropriate Elf contest will not close to entries until this Friday night. That's December 20thView full post »
It's Time To Wake The Elves #InappropriateElf
He's been a bad, bad boy. And he's back for a 3rd year of inappropriate fun. 1st Inappropriate ElfView full post »
The 2012 Inappropriate Elf Winners!
It's TIME! Time to announce the winners of the 2012 Inappropriate Elf contest! Before we get to the grand reveal, I want to give aView full post »
Inappropriate Elf Voting And Stuff
Voting is in full swing for the Inappropriate Elf entries, and I've had quite a few emails and comments with questions. SoView full post »
2nd Annual Inappropriate Elf Contest #InappropriateElf
It's the moment some of us have been waiting for since we put away that sly little elf last year. Visions of inappropriate elfView full post »
Prepare For The Inappropriate Elves
They're coming. They're growing restless in their dark boxes. They're whispering in your attic. They're plottingView full post »
#InappropriateElf In July
#InappropriateElf wanted to be sure you all have a safe and happy holiday. He's enjoying his time off, and isView full post »
The Moment All Inappropriate Elves Have Waited For
Drumroll, please…. Or just a lot ofView full post »
Announcing the Top 11 Inappropriate Elves
I went back and forth with Jason of Passionfruit Ads all morning and there was NO way we could settle on ten. It was nearly impossible toView full post »
Inappropriate Elves Are Winning
Parents with a sense of humor have united the last couple weeks in a way that brings a tear to my eye. We are FUNNY. WeView full post »

subset: commoncrawl


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Respite care for carers of people with dementia
Question 10: For carers of people with dementia, does respite care when compared to care as usual, produce benefits/harm in the specified outcomes?
- Population: caregivers/carers of people with dementia
- Interventions: respite care
- Comparison: no respite care
- Outcomes:
- caregiver strain/burden
- caregiver psychological distress and health
- caregiver quality of life
- caregiver social support
- caregiver physical health.
Where feasible, home based respite care may be encouraged for carers of people with dementia.
Strength of recommendation: STANDARD


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The ASA has established a Sangha Welfare Fund for supporting monks and nuns in Australia who are in need of short-term assistance. All members of the ASA are welcome to apply for funds.
|1. Background
|2. Sangha Welfare Fund
1. Background
The Sangha has always survived in a mutually supportive relationship with lay communities. The Sangha offer spiritual guidance, and to express their gratitude, the lay community offer food and other necessities. This relationship changes and adapts in different environments; but in every Buddhist culture, the community wishes to establish the monastic order so that it may pursue its main duties, of meditation, study, and service.
In a rapidly changing multi-cultural society such as Australia, the question of support for the Sangha becomes much more complex. It cannot be taken for granted that a good monastic who is intent on Dhamma, will be supported by the community.
This situation varies widely between different traditions. It partly depends on factors which have evolved within each tradition over the past thousands of years. For example, the Thai Buddhist Sangha relies on the spontaneous offerings of food into the monastics' bowls on the daily alms round. This helps create the extraordinary culture of generosity in Thailand, which carries over to support for the Sangha in Australia. In Korea, on the other hand, the climate made daily alms round impractical, and so the monasteries became self-sufficient. The habit of daily support for the Sangha's needs is accordingly not as prominent.
Another critical factor is immigration patterns. Australia has large numbers of Buddhists who originally came from traditional Buddhist cultures such as Sri Lanka or Vietnam. In such cases there is a large commulity pool of potential supporters. In contrast, there are relatively few Tibetans in Australia, so the tibetan Sangha has had to rely more on support from Australian new Buddhists. Since the culture of giving to support the Sangha is not part of Australian tradition, Tibetan centers typically use more Western-style methods for raising funds, such as charging for teaching courses.
However, these means are often not enough. Many monastics in Australia today do not receive sufficient support for their livelihood from their center or supporters. Some have a day job, such as driving a taxi or waiting on tables, while others rely on a pension or are supported by family. Monastics even have to pay to stay in the temple, and must buy their own food.
Part of the problem lies in our ability to adapt to a radically new environment. Buddhist leaders and teachers need to be aware of the situation, and consider ways it can be addressed; while Australian Buddhists should learn of the importance of monastic Sangha as a part of the whole Buddhist culture.
1. Sangha Welfare Fund
In recognition of this problem, the ASA has set up a Welfare Fund. the purpose of the fund is to provide short term funds for immediate Sangha needs. This might include:
- Travel
- Food
- Education
- Bills
- Teaching
Any ASA members who are in need in these or other areas is invited to contact the ASA with a request for assistance. We have limited funds available and will try to help.
Please note the following conditions apply:
- All decisions on granting funds are to be made by the ASA Management Committee. Their decision is final.
- Funds are not available for building monasteries.
- The ASA Management Committee may apply conditions to the funds as is sees fit, such as requiring evidence that the funds are used as specified.
If the Sangha wishes for the Australian lay community to support us in our new home we must support each other. The Welfare Fund is a small step in that direction.


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Mehdi Hasan exposes misconceptions about the continent
Explore Japan through its offbeat train culture
Talk to Al Jazeera | 10 Feb 2014 18:27 GMT | Politics, Qatar, Russia, United Kingdom
The most expensive Olympic Games in history are getting underway in Russia and has cost more than all the previous Winter Olympics combined.
Evolution and change is so critical for any organisation to remain relevant, to remain effective .... I think the change essentially is to make sure that Amnesty stands alongside human rights defenders and victims of human rights violations, stays close to them, and works alongside them.
Salil Shetty, Amnesty International
The Sochi games have been dogged by allegations of corruption in the tendering and construction process and the games have also drawn controversy over human rights issues and a law banning gay 'propaganda'.
But Russia has not been the only country put in the spotlight; Qatar has also been questioned, and the huge preparations for the World Cup in 2022 have raised many questions about the rights of workers in the country.
Among those expressing concern is Amnesty International. Now three million members strong, it was originally established in the United Kingdom in 1961 to lobby for freedom of opinion and religion, and the release of political prisoners.
But the international organisation has morphed into a proponent for a wider definition of human rights, its supporters saying it has become a force for good.
And behind the scenes, Amnesty is going through big changes. With most of its leadership based in London, its workers have often been somewhat cut off from the field. The organisation now says it needs a new structure to make it more effective and connected to the rest of the world.
"If you look at its 52-year history, at every stage, the way it has remained the most relevant and most powerful human rights movement in the world is by adapting to the changing external realities," says Salil Shetty, the secretary general of Amnesty International.
"Evolution and change is so critical for any organisation to remain relevant, to remain effective .... I think the change essentially is to make sure that Amnesty stands alongside human rights defenders and victims of human rights violations, stays close to them, and works alongside them," he says.
So as Amnesty embarks on campaigns around the world, the man at the helm, Salil Shetty, talks to Al Jazeera about the core principles of the organisation, where its future lies, and how it picks the causes it fights for.
Source: Al Jazeera
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An indigenous Zapotec, Lirika's hip-hop songs speak to many women as they continue to endure rampant violence in Mexico.
Women, Human Rights, Mexico
Education Pro enables teachers to monitor students' online activity and sends "violation" alerts over trigger terms.
Human Rights, Education, United Kingdom
Japanese protesters invoke human rights abuse and painful memories of war to oppose US Marine airbase on their island.
Military, Human Rights, Japan
Precarious peace agreement has failed to end fighting in South Sudan with fears of famine and disease outbreaks.
War & Conflict, Human Rights, South Sudan
101 East follows the lives of seven people in Nanjing and asks what they think of the direction their country is taking.
Politics, Asia Pacific, China
In a Delhi slum, puppeteers, musicians, jugglers and acrobats try to unite as they wrangle with an approaching eviction.
Business & Economy, Arts & Culture, Poverty & Development
An investigation into the high rate of child sex abuse in Jamaica and the government's failure to protect its children.
The story of the 1994 Rwandan genocide told through the prism of the media, exploring their role then and today.
Media, War & Conflict, Africa


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The George, a Hotel Near Smithsonian
Looking for hotels near the Smithsonian? Look no further than the George. Serving as the world's largest museum and research complex, the Smithsonian is literally a national treasure. A collection of 19 museums and galleries, including the National Portrait Gallery, Smithsonian American Art Museum, and the Smithsonian Institution itself, there's much to see and do in the nation's capitol. We haven't even gotten to the good part yet, all of the Smithsonian museums are free admission and open every day of the year, except December 25th.
Located in Capitol Hill, Hotel George is just a short walk to the world famous Smithsonian Museums. Enjoy morning coffee or tea in our lobby before you start your tours, or come back and retreat in our comfortable hotel beds and unwind from your fun-filled day with our Hosted Evening Wine Hour. Between the exciting sightseeing and our luxurious accommodations, there's no reason to delay your next trip to the District.
For more information on which museums to visit, directions, or transportation please call our concierge desk at (202) 347-4200.


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Le Pera Maverick Seat For Harley Softail With Factory-Fitted 200mm Tire
A supportive seat that still looks custom, the Maverick is a good choice for those who prize comfort over minimalism. Best for long days in the saddle, the Maverick is the LePera saddle that is most comfortable while still maintaining a lower profile.
Harley Davidson
Fat Boy CVO/SE FLSTFSE2 2006
Fat Boy S FLSTFBS 2016
Softail Springer CVO/SE FXSTSSE 2007
Softail Springer CVO/SE FXSTSSE2 2008
Softail Springer CVO/SE FXSTSSE3 2009
Springer Softail FXSTS/I 2006
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Inspired by the early 19th century French Restoration period, Tuscano is be noted for its purity of line, classic proportions and for its sparing but effective use of carving. The light finish is reminiscent of the wood styles which were fashionable during that time period.
Additional Information
Check the standard dimensions listed for the piece you are considering. Note all the numbers for width x depth x height (e.g., 87.5" W x 38" D x 36.5" H). It's also a good idea to consider the diagonal dimensions of the furniture you want. These measurements will be helpful when planning your space.
La-Z-Boy products come with our famous La-Z-Boy limited warranty, one of the best in the industry.
Join our email list and be the first to hear about new products, the latest trends and styles, along with so much more.


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Intramyocardial Multiple Precision Injection of Bone Marrow Mononuclear Cells in Myocardial Ischemia (IMPI)
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- How to Read a Study Record
Randomised placebo-controlled study of efficiency and safety of bone marrow mononuclear cells transplantation by intramyocardial multiple precision injection in ischemic heart failure patients.
Heart Failure
Procedure: NOGA XP Cardiac Navigation System
Phase 1
|Study Type:
|Study Design:
|Allocation: Randomized
Endpoint Classification: Safety/Efficacy Study
Intervention Model: Parallel Assignment
Masking: Double Blind (Subject, Caregiver, Investigator)
Primary Purpose: Treatment
|Official Title:
|Phase 1 Study to Evaluate the Efficacy and Safety of Intramyocardial Multiple Precision Injection of Bone Marrow Mononuclear Cells in Myocardial Ischemia
- Change in global left ventricular ejection fraction and regional wall motion score index [ Time Frame: 6 and12 months ] [ Designated as safety issue: No ]
- Incidence of the major adverse cardiac events [ Time Frame: 6 and 12 months ] [ Designated as safety issue: Yes ]
|Estimated Enrollment:
|Study Start Date:
|May 2011
|Estimated Study Completion Date:
|May 2017
|Estimated Primary Completion Date:
|May 2016 (Final data collection date for primary outcome measure)
|Assigned Interventions
|Active Comparator: group of bone marrow cell therapy
Procedure: NOGA XP Cardiac Navigation System
Intramyocardial multiple precision injection of bone marrow mononuclear cells
Other Name: Cordis Corporation's Biologics Delivery Systems
|Sham Comparator: group of sham therapy
Procedure: NOGA XP Cardiac Navigation System
Intramyocardial multiple precision injection with placebo
Other Name: Cordis Corporation's Biologics Delivery Systems
Detailed Description:
The increase of prevalence of heart failure in human population requires to develop new and effective methods of treatment. One of them is stem cells transplantation into a myocardial tissue, which cause the improvement of contractility, myocardial remodelling after myocardial infarction (MI), dilated cardiomyopathy, etc. Use of autologous stem cells does not require of immunosuppressive therapy and does not correlate with some ethical problems. Clinical application of mesenchymal stem cells always requires a step of culturing, which is associated with increased risk of contamination Therefore haemopoietic stem cells, endothelial progenitor cells or mononuclear bone marrow cells are often used to be transplant for treatment of heart failure (HF) patients.Using NOGA XP Cardiac Navigation System improves specificity of transplantations, that is decisive.
|Ages Eligible for Study:
|18 Years to 69 Years
|Genders Eligible for Study:
|Accepts Healthy Volunteers:
Inclusion Criteria:
- patients with coronary artery disease (CAD) and HF II-III NYHA class
- MI more than 6 months before the study
- LVEF less than 35%
- absence of indication to coronary revascularization
- optimal pharmacological therapy no less than 8 weeks
- heart transplantation is contraindicated
- patients with implantable cardioverter-defibrillator (ICD) or cardiac resynchronization therapy defibrillator (CRT-D)
- patients giving informed consent
Exclusion Criteria:
- acute coronary syndrome
- coronary revascularization less than 6 months
- patients requiring surgical correction of post-MI aneurism
- LV wall thickness less than 5 mm in site of possible injection
- patients with CRT implanted within 3 month before cells injection
- clinically significant associated diseases
Please refer to this study by its ClinicalTrials.gov identifier: NCT01354678
|Russian Federation
|Almazov Federal Heart, Blood and Endocrinology Centre
|Saint-Petersburg, Russian Federation, 197341
|Principal Investigator:
|Eugene V Shlyakhto, Prof
|Almazov Federal Heart, Blood and Endocrinology Centre
No publications provided
|Responsible Party:
|Federal State Budgetary Institution, V. A. Almazov Federal North-West Medical Research Centre, of the Ministry of Health
|ClinicalTrials.gov Identifier:
|NCT01354678 History of Changes
|Other Study ID Numbers:
|Study First Received:
|May 13, 2011
|Last Updated:
|August 13, 2015
|Health Authority:
|Russia: Ethics Committee
Keywords provided by Federal State Budgetary Institution, V. A. Almazov Federal North-West Medical Research Centre, of the Ministry of Health:
heart failure
bone marrow mononuclear cells
Additional relevant MeSH terms:
Coronary Artery Disease
Heart Failure
Myocardial Ischemia
Arterial Occlusive Diseases
Cardiovascular Diseases
Coronary Disease
Heart Diseases
Vascular Diseases
ClinicalTrials.gov processed this record on October 09, 2015


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50 Hottest Peyton Manning Cards
Is there any stopping Peyton Manning cards? One of the top quarterbacks of this, or any, generation, Manning cards continue to generate a ton of interest. Having reinvented himself with the Denver Broncos, he has not only grown his already immense fanbase, but earned even more respect from collectors worldwide.
While Peyton Manning rookie cards will always be a sure thing, they came just before the boom in autographs and memorabilia. As a result, 1998 Playoff Contenders is the only set with a signed rookie card. He does have other pricey autographs from 1998, but these are inserts and not rookies. So even with his career success, the majority of Manning's rookie cards are relatively affordable.
But that's not to say there aren't plenty of high-end options. When you factor in parallels, the number of Peyton Manning different autograph cards is well over 1,500. That said, the majority of these were released before 2010. And those that have come out since then have extremely low print runs. There are very few Peyton Manning autograph cards of the quarterback in a Denver Broncos uniform, further fueling secondary market prices.
Peyton Manning memorabilia cards are also something of a rarity in recent products. Panini, who has a memorabilia deal with the Broncos, has included a handful of cards in 2013 products. In 2012, Manning had game-used swatches on just four cards in three Panini sets. The combined print run for all of these is less than 200 total cards. Topps hasn't had any game-used Peyton Manning cards since 2011. So even with the diminished excitement in basic memorabilia cards, don't be surprised to see Manning's cards command a premium.
Peyton Manning Hot List
Here's a real-time hot list of the eBay auctions generating the most interest on eBay right now. The list, which is based primarily on the number of people watching the listings, updates automatically. Check back often to see new Peyton Manning cards and trends.


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Sun 21st Jul at 9:00am
5th Bristol & Bath Classic Car Run
@ Avon Riding Centre For The Disabled, Bristol
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5th Bristol & Bath Classic Car Run
"Do you have a classic car or are you just a fan of classic cars? If so, why not join us on Sunday 21 July 2013 for a charity Classic Car Run in aid of Avon Riding Centre for the Disabled. Open to classic cars, sports and other cherished motors of all ages. The run will take an approximate 90 mile scenic tour of Bristol and Somerset ending at Avon Riding Centre for hot food and dessert. There will also be a band playing live Jazz. Further details can be found on our website at www.avonridingcentre.org.uk or call us on 0117 959 0266."
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Venue Facts
Venue: Avon Riding Centre For The Disabled
Enquiries: 0117 959 0266


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Florida Gov. Rick Scott
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Gov. Rick Scott sliced $18.7 million out of Southwest Florida's portion of the budget pie Monday, including $7.5 million for FGCU's Innovation Hub.
The veto of the hub was a surprise to local legislators as well as to FGCU President Wilson Bradshaw.
Scott vetoed $400 million from the state's $74.1 billion budget that takes effect July 1. The budget includes $480 million that is aimed at handing out pay raises for teachers. Scott, as he warned, vetoed the 3 percent tuition increase approved by legislators during the legislative session that ended May 3. ...


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Have you always wanted to give improv a try? Well, Madcap Theater provides students that opportunity through its Madcap University improv workshops.
Our design for these workshops is to not only teach the student the formula for successful improv and character development, but we desire to instill in a greater sense of self-confidence that can be taken with the student long after the workshop experience is over.
To provide the student a well rounded improv education, Madcap Univeristy is divided into two workshops:
Improv Foundations and Improv Performance.
Each class has a unique focus which will leave the student with an incredible working knowledge of successful improvisation.
If both workshops are completed the student will have the opportunity to perform in a full production improv show at Madcap Theater for friends and family. The performance will put the skills learned in the workshops to practical use while providing the student the opportunity to experience the exhilaration and fun a live improv performance has to offer.
So stop procrastinating and sign up for an improv workshop today!


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The ingenious Umbrella For Two "Odemukae" (¥1,980Prices are approximate only and subject to change.
White Rabbit Express service fee and other costs not included.) by Thanko is wide enough to comfortably share with another person and not end up with rain soaked bags or legs.
Additionally, once folded, the umbrella is not larger than an ordinary umbrella: a must-have item for rainy June.
The Umbrella For Two Odemukae is available in: wine red, light blue and brown.
Length: 750 mm
Width 1,204 mm (when open),
Weight: 440g


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Our Daily Drive
By Artist Jackie Miller
Saskatchewan born artist predominantly self taught. Completing her studies through the University of Saskatchewan in art and design (USCAD program) 2010.
Jacqueline is prolific and versatile with a preference for acrylics on canvas.
Over the years Jacqueline has become known for her whimsical urban scapes which focus on the beauty of cities across the Canadian prairies.
She has recently added to her repertoire, fluid and tactile abstracts and intriguing still life's.
Jacqueline has had numerous group and solo exhibitions in the private and commercial sector over many years.
Jacqueline's work is represented in private, public and corporate collections throughout Canada.
Jackie Miller
E-mail: email@example.com Website: www.jackiemiller.ca
Return to Art In Canada´s Homepage Gallery


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Akunnor dispels Kotoko rumours
Former Hearts of Oak coach C K Akunnor has denied reports linking him with a move to Asante Kotoko as assistant coach.
The former Ghana captain was sacked by Hearts in November after a string of poor runs in the Ghanaian top flight.
Reports circulating in the local media claimed the Porcupine Warriors have began talks with Akunnor to take a role as assistant coach at the Baba Yara Stadium when Didi Dramani's technical bench is dissolved.
But the former VfL Wolfsburg winger says he is yet to be officially contacted by Kotoko.
"I have not been contacted by any Kotoko official and I just heard this as a rumour too," Akunnor told Accra-based Happy FM.
"I was out of town and I just got back and started training a lower division side to keep me active.


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Serves 10 to 12
12 oz. milk chocolate, chopped
1 1/2 cups hazelnuts, toasted and chopped
1/2 cup unsalted butter
8 lg. eggs, separated
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup Kahlua liquor
8 lg. eggs
1/4 cup sugar
1 tsp. vanilla
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/8 tsp. cayenne pepper
Cocoa, for coating the pan
Chocolate Ganache, recipe follows
Fresh raspberries, for garnish
Preheat the oven to 325°F.
Using 1/2 tablespoon butter grease a 9-inch springform pan and line bottom with a parchment round. Bring a medium saucepan of water to boil.
Combine the chocolate, butter and Kahlua in a metal bowl set over simmering water or in the top of a double boiler. Melt the mixture, stirring constantly, until smooth and creamy, about 5 minutes; reserve.
Combine egg yolks, sugar, vanilla, cinnamon, cayenne and salt in a large bowl and whisk with an electric mixer until frothy and almost doubled in volume, about 5 to 10 minutes. Fold egg mixture into cooled chocolate mixture using a rubber spatula.
In a clean, separate mixing bowl, beat the egg whites until the just begin to stiffen and hold soft peaks. Be sure to stop before they form hard peaks. Gently fold 1/3 of the whites into the chocolate mixture. Repeat this process 2 more times - until all of egg mixture has been folded into chocolate mixture.
Whisk in the hazelnuts. Pour the batter into the prepared pan. Bake until cake has risen slightly and edges are just beginning to set, about 45 minutes or until firm and beginning to separate from the sides. Remove from the oven and pan and cool on wire rack to room temperature.
While still on the wire rack, pour chocolate Ganache over the cake. Cool until Ganache solidifies slightly. Top with fresh raspberries and enjoy!
Yield: 1 1/2 cups
1/2 cup heavy whipping cream
1 cup fine quality chocolate, chopped small and evenly
Heat whipping cream in a heavy-bottomed sauce pan or on top of a bain-marie. Remove saucepan from heat and add chocolate. Allow chocolate to melt slowly, stirring occasionally, until smooth.


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This summer, I did some work for IMG Artists, an international company in the performing arts management, tours, festivals, events and consulting business. It was really neat to get to learn a bit about each artist so I create a … Continue reading
savannah smith photography and design
Posted on August 24th, 2012
Posted in: design, graphic design
Posted on July 1st, 2012
you may remember morgan's rehearsal dinner shots from a few posts back. she called me a few weeks ago and wanted to take some cheerful, fun bridal shots. i was excited about the chance to see her again and to … Continue reading →
Posted in: photography, portraits
Posted on June 26th, 2012
after several scheduling hurdles, I finally got the chance to photograph will and his parents. can you believe this big guy just turned one?! let's just start by saying summers in texas are HOT (i think they get hotter every … Continue reading →
Posted in: photography, portraits


text: Martha Roberts | IBDB: The official source for Broadway Information IBDB: The official source for Broadway Information Official Broadway League sites: - sites - broadway.org broadwayleague.com broadwayfanclub.com kidsnightonbroadway.com stagespecs.org tonyawards.com Quick Search For: In This Category: All Show People/Org. Theatre Season Martha Roberts Performer Female Productions ProductionsDate of ProductionsKnights of Song[Musical, Play, Original] Performer: Martha Roberts [Sarah Burnside]Oct 17, 1938 - Oct 29, 1938Sandro Botticelli[Play, Drama, Romance, Original] Performer: Martha Roberts [Donna Isabella]Mar 26, 1923 - Apr 1923 Find out where Martha Roberts and are credited together © 2001-2015, The Broadway League, All Rights Reserved. (Copyright and Disclaimer)


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Add artisanal elegance to every look with Mallarino's handcrafted gold-plated earrings. Wear this deceptively lightweight pair with a cocktail dress, or team them with a cashmere sweater to shake up your day look. For pierced ears.
Handmade Gold-plated silverHook fastening for pierced ears
Product code: 338555 - Need help? Contact us


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Daily Bucket
U.S. President Barack Obama gives a thumbs up to a reporter's... News PhotoAsking,Barack Obama,Basketball - Sport,Built Structure,Collective Bargaining Agreement,Emotion,Fort McNair,Giving,Horizontal,International Landmark,Journalist,Lockout,NBA,Politics,Sporting Term,Thumb,US President,USA,Washington DC,White House - Washington DCPhotographer PoolCollection: Getty Images News 2011 Getty ImagesWASHINGTON, DC - NOVEMBER 26: U.S. President Barack Obama gives a thumbs up to a reporter's question about his feelings on the end of the NBA lockout after playing basketball at the Fort McNair athletic facility on November 26, 2011 in Washington, DC. Obama and family will attend a basketball game at Towson University later in the day, with Michelle Obama's brother, Craig Robinson, coaching the visiting Oregon State Beavers. (Photo by Martin H. Simon-Pool/Getty Images)


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Norman G's profile
Norman G's latest tasting notes Subscribe
To make use of this information, you have to download and install an RSS feed reader like SharpReader. Every so often, the aggregator checks the RSS feeds you selected. You log on to the aggregator and see the updates to your favorite sites, blogs and stores, all in one place. For more information on RSS, please visit:
Williams Selyem - Pinot Noir Special Bottling
Kistler - Pinot Noir Kistler Vineyard
Fabulous. Pinot for sure and almost wine of the night. Typical Kistler earthy, forest floor components. Great mouthfeel and texture.
Juslyn - Cabernet Sauvignon Napa Valley
Nice wine, went up against a 2005 Merus and could not compare. The blend makes it softer and lighter. Good but not great.
Peter Michael - La Carriere
Excellent but the Belle showed better. Not as well rounded as Kistler or as crisp as Kongarrd
Peter Michael - Ma Belle Fille
Excellent showed the best white of the night. Not as well rounded as Kistler or as crisp as Kongarrd


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Follow Us
Katerina Svedova is a busty, brunette, European beauty with amazing natural tits that love to bounce up and down. Information on her is a bit scarce but what I can tell you is that she may look sweet and innocent, but she is far from it. No matter what scenes you watch of Katerina, you will never be disappointed. So make sure to at least check out bustyandreal.com because her tits are fantastic.


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Hi Yall,After finding a source for really cheap ultralight fabric, I found a source for cheap down.I am selling it at my new website DownByThePound.com. I am offering both 700 and 800 fill power down. http://www.backpackinglight.com/cgi-bin/backpackinglight/forums/thread_display.html?forum_thread_id=51752
if you need a lot of down, like i will shortly, and don't mind the extra weight, this beats thru-hiker by quite a bit. I am planning a 5deg down quilt, a 45deg quilt and maybe some down booties and a down hat. If i buy two pounds of down, it ends up at $5 an oz, thru-hiker's is $10. Admittedly, if you buy their quilt kit, its not as expensive, but for a 5deg quilt, i could go with thru-hiker and save 2oz, or with this site, and save $40, which makes sense to me (college student).
ZoharSo.... how do you like that "affordable" light weight fabric, you sourced?
I just put in an order for 6 ozs. At $5.50/ounce I figure it's worth trying some out on my next project. Thanks~
the day before i was gonna by some from downlite you undercut there price yay!! just bought two pounds of 800 fp
Maybe it's time to put down a 120 pound order. Then it only come to $2.65 an ounce, (cheapest I've found 800 fill).
Wow... All my down was bought out. Will be back in stock by monday.
Zohar, Will the order ship on Monday, or later?
I ordered 2 pounds of 800 fp just checked the tracking # and it got delivered to N.Y !!! anyone from N.Y order the same thing? I emailed zohar but i want to get this cleared up asap as i need the down for a project
The down was indeed shipped to you. I mistaken sent you the wrong tracking number. You should receive the down today or tomorrow.
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A Study to Evaluate the Effectiveness and Safety of Multiple Doses of Tapentadol(CG5503) in Patients Awaiting Joint Replacement Surgery
- Full Text View
- Tabular View
- No Study Results Posted
- Disclaimer
- How to Read a Study Record
The purpose of this study is to evaluate in patients who are eligible for elective primary total or partial joint replacement of the hip or knee due to chronic osteoarthritis the efficacy (level of pain control) of CG5503 over 5 and 10 days compared with placebo, and to assess the safety and tolerability of multiple doses of CG5503 IR patients.
Pain Assessment
Drug: CG5503 IR; tapentadol
Phase 3
|Study Type:
|Study Design:
|Allocation: Randomized
Endpoint Classification: Safety/Efficacy Study
Intervention Model: Parallel Assignment
Masking: Double-Blind
Primary Purpose: Treatment
|Official Title:
|A Randomized, Double-Blind, Active- and Placebo-Controlled, Parallel Group, Multicenter Study to Evaluate the Efficacy and Safety of Multiple Doses of CG5503 Immediate Release Formulation in Subjects Awaiting Primary Joint Replacement Surgery for End-Stage Joint Disease
- The primary efficacy outcome is the SPID (Sum of Pain Intensity Difference) calculated at 5 days.
- Secondary efficacy outcomes include, among others, the time to the first use of rescue medication, the distribution of responder rates, and the SPID over 2 and 10 days.
|Study Start Date:
|October 2006
|Study Completion Date:
|August 2007
|Primary Completion Date:
|August 2007 (Final data collection date for primary outcome measure)
CG5503 is a centrally active pain-relieving drug being investigated for the treatment of acute and chronic pain. This study was designed to assess the safety and tolerability of CG5503 IR in patients who need joint replacement of the hip or knee due to chronic osteoarthritis. This is a double-blind study, i.e., neither patients nor investigators will know what treatment is given. Before the start of the 10 day double-blind phase, each patient will be screened for eligibility and eligible patients will be randomly assigned to receive either CG5503 IR, oxycodone IR, or placebo (i.e., no active drug). All patients will take their treatment by mouth every 4 to 6 hours during waking hours. A total of 60 doses (up to 6 doses per day) of study treatment will be provided for each patient during the 10-day treatment phase. The study treatment will be dispensed on Day 1, and patients will take the first dose in the evening of the same day. The effectiveness of study treatment (CG5503 IR, oxycodone, or placebo) will be assessed using several measures, including 11 Point Pain Numerical Rating Scale, 5-Point Relief Numerical Rating Scale, and Patient Global Impression of Change. Using these scales, patients will indicate their pain intensity level, pain relief level, and overall status of their well-being. Safety and tolerability will be assessed using physical examination, monitoring of adverse events, clinical and laboratory measures, and 12 lead ECG results. The null hypothesis for the study is that all CG5503 IR dosage efficacy results are equal to placebo based on the 5-day SPID in the treatment of chronic pain caused by osteoarthritis. The alternative study hypothesis is that at least 1 CG5503 IR dose effect will be different from placebo effect. CG5503 IR 50 mg, 75 mg of the base, 10 mg oxycodone or placebo for 10 days taken by mouth every 4 to 6 hours during waking hours. Patients randomized to CG5503 IR 75 mg group will receive CG5503 IR 50 mg on Day 1 and 75 mg on Day 2 to 10. All doses of study treatment should be taken with approximately 120 mL of water with or with food.
|Ages Eligible for Study:
|18 Years to 80 Years
|Genders Eligible for Study:
|Accepts Healthy Volunteers:
Inclusion Criteria:
- Clinical diagnosis of chronic osteoarthritis of the hip or the knee based on clinical and radiographic (X-Ray) criteria defined by standard accepted guidelines
- candidate (qualifies) for primary one-sided total or partial joint replacement surgery due to noninflammatory, end-stage degenerative joint disease (arthritis)
- requires daily doses of analgesic medication for chronic pain.
Exclusion Criteria:
- History of seizure disorder or epilepsy suggested by the presence of any of the following
- History of chronic hepatitis B and C or human immunodeficiency virus, or presence of active hepatitis B and C within the past 3 months before screening
- currently treated with anticonvulsants, monoamine oxidase inhibitors, tricyclic antidepressant, neuroleptics, or serotonin norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors.
Please refer to this study by its ClinicalTrials.gov identifier: NCT00361582
|Study Director:
|Johnson & Johnson Pharmaceutical Research & Development, L.L. C. Clinical Trial
|Johnson & Johnson Pharmaceutical Research & Development, L.L.C.
Additional Information:
No publications provided
|ClinicalTrials.gov Identifier:
|NCT00361582 History of Changes
|Other Study ID Numbers:
|Study First Received:
|August 4, 2006
|Last Updated:
|June 3, 2011
|Health Authority:
|United States: Food and Drug Administration
Keywords provided by Johnson & Johnson Pharmaceutical Research & Development, L.L.C.:
hip replacement
Additional relevant MeSH terms:
Joint Diseases
Musculoskeletal Diseases
Rheumatic Diseases
Signs and Symptoms
ClinicalTrials.gov processed this record on October 13, 2015


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Cosmetic, Laser and Family Dentistry in Oviedo and Greater Orlando, Florida Area
Welcome to Your Oviedo Dentist, your cosmetic, laser and family dentistry practice. Serving Oviedo and the Greater Orlando areas, we are dedicated to giving you the smile of your dreams through the most advanced hi-tech dentistry. We are proud to serve patients of all languages and have team members fluent in Spanish, Portuguese, Russian, Romanian and Farsi. Each member of our team is dedicated to making your experience with us as welcoming and comfortable as possible. We hope that we will be privileged to become your home for all your preventive and cosmetic dentistry needs. Please look through our website to discover all about our dental team, treatment techniques, and other aspects over our practice. Don't forget to visit our offers page to find great welcoming coupons. Dr. Lopez and his team can give you the smile you want using:
- Same Day inlays and onlays (CEREC)
- Same Day dental crowns (CEREC)
- Dental Implants
- Lumineers (Contact-lens thin veneers)
- Teeth Whitening


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By OGJ editors
HOUSTON, Mar. 6 -- US drilling activity continued to plummet, approaching a 5-year low with 1,170 rotary rigs working this week, down 73 units from the previous week, said Baker Hughes Inc.
That's the lowest rig count since the week ended May 28, 2004, when there were 1,168 units working. Last year at this same period, there were 1,802 rigs drilling.
Land operations suffered most of the latest loss, of course, down 72 rigs to 1,114 making hole. Offshore drilling was down by 1 rig to 50 in the Gulf of Mexico and a total of 51 drilling in US coastal waters. Inland-waters activity remained unchanged with 5 rigs working.
"North American activity has continued to decline rapidly over the past several months," said analysts at Barclays Capital Inc. "We believe the rig count will continue to fall sharply into the second quarter of 2009."
They said, "The jack up market globally is weakening substantially, with offshore Mexico being the one bright spot. Some recent jack up contract data points in the Middle East have been at day rates, which are down nearly 50% vs. peak day rates."
Among the US rigs still active, 916 were drilling for natural gas, 54 fewer than the previous week. Rigs drilling for oil were down by 19 to 241. There were 13 rigs unclassified. Horizontal drilling declined by 9 rigs to 445. Directional drilling was down 1 rig to 237.
Texas accounted for most of this week's loss, down 58 to 480 rigs working. Oklahoma dropped 5 to 115. Louisiana was down 4 rigs with 140 working. North Dakota and Arkansas lost 3 rigs each to 55 and 47, respectively. Wyoming's count declined by 2 to 47. California and Alaska were unchanged with respective counts of 24 and 11. Colorado gained 1 rig to 63, and New Mexico raised its count by 3 rigs to 42.
In other areas of interest, Pennsylvania had 27 rigs working, up by 2. West Virginia and Utah each lost 3 rigs to 22 and 23 respectively.
Canada's rig count dropped by 95 rigs to 299 drilling, down from 623 working during the same period in 2008.


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|< Back One Page
|Wild Turkey Sounds
|How to Age Your Wild Turkey
|Turkey Recipes
|How to Prepare Your Wild Turkey For The Taxidermist
How to Age Your Wild Turkey
Aging a wild turkey is at best an inexact science. Through the years, many biologists have researched techniques for aging a wild turkey gobbler in the field. From all of the research I have read, there really is no certain way for determining the age of a gobbler once he reaches 3 years of age and above. It is possible to identify a first year bird but it is a lot more difficult to determine if a bird is a 2 year-old, a 3 year-old or 4 years old or more.
There are several indicators used to judge the age of a wild turkey gobbler including tail feathers, beard length and spur length.
The tail feathers are really only useful in identifying jakes (1 year-old gobblers) from mature birds. When you fan out the tail feathers of a jake, the middle 2 to 5 sets of primary feathers will be 2 to 4 inches longer than the rest of the feathers giving the fan a "bump" in the middle. This happens during the late summer molt a young gobbler goes through when he replaces the middle primary tail feathers. In the second year, the tail molts in the standard adult pattern from the outside in and the gobbler will then have a full, even fan.
This characteristic is especially useful in determing the age of a strutting gobbler since you can determine quite easily if it is a mature bird or not from a long distance.
Beards are another variable that may be used in determining the age of a gobbler. Generally, beards grow at a rate of 4" to 5" a year and never stop growing. They also will generally get wider and thicker as the gobbler ages. Knowing this, you can be fairly certain a gobbler with a beard of less than 5" about a one year old bird.There are exceptions to this though since mature gobblers can lose most or all of the beard to various causes.
The beard length is only partially helpful in determining the age of a gobbler because after a bird reaches the age of 2, the beard reaches a length of 9" to 10" and it starts to wear down at the tip. When the bird feeds, the beards tip is worn by both getting stepped on by the tom and by dragging on the ground.
There are also many other variable which can affect the length of a beard including:
The best research I have seen relating beard characteristics to the age of a wild turkey gobbler can be found in Lovett Williams books "The Book of the Wild Turkey" (1981) and "After the Hunt " (1996).
In these books he talks about examining the tips of the beards to aid in determining the age of a gobbler. The end of a young gobbler's beard will appear translucent amber when held up to a light and it will have smooth, rounded tips on the filaments. As the beard continues growing, the amber tip will eventually wear off and the ends of the filaments will become jagged. Thus a gobbler with a 10" beard that still has its amber tips would be a 2 year old gobbler since the beard hasn't grown enough yet to completely wear off the amber tips.
Source: "The Book of the Wild Turkey - Williams" (1981)
Spur length is generally considered to be the most reliable characteristic in determining the age of a gobbler. Spurs will still show some wear differences due to the habitat or geographical area a turkey is found but generally they keep getting longer and sharper as the turkey ages.
There are a variety of differing opinions on spur length in relation to a gobbler's age so I'll present several theories here and let you choose the one you like.
One very interesting study, "Indexes for Aging Eastern Turkeys" by R. Kelly (1975) focused entirely on aging gobblers in Missouri. This paper shows how spur length, beard length and body weight are associated with known age Eastern gobblers.
To begin the study, a group of 50 known age gobblers were trapped as sub-adults, and fourteen "minimum known-age" gobblers were trapped as adults. The gobblers were banded and released in various locations and then were harvested in 20 different Missouri counties from 1962 to 1974. Twenty-five sub-adult birds were randomly selected from the 1973 harvest data in two counties.
Data from the harvested birds was collected and compiled, giving the following table.
2This group of gobblers had a minimum known-age of 5 years.
Length of Spurs and
Beards and Body Weights of Gobblers in Known Age Classes
Wild Turkey Decoys ---Wild Turkey Calls
Estimating Gobbler Age by Spur
Source - Keck - "Talk'n Turkey"
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BRIC: Promises and Caveats
By: Irina Barbalova, Euromonitor International
Posted: November 5, 2008, from the November 2008 issue of GCI Magazine.
page 4 of 6However, the Indian market is not one to overlook. The country has a large and growing population of young people living in urban environments who are increasingly brand conscious, and it is they who are the key to the future of the sector. In BRIC, the retail channels are modernizing. In 2008, for example, Estée Lauder announced the openings of four stand-alone outlets in the country.
While India's growth is small compared to the other three countries, it is predicted to continue at the same rate up to 2012. Total value sales should rise to $6 billion by 2012, making the country a safer, if less exciting, bet for investors.
China's Premium Potential
It is well documented that China's economy is booming, and this is reflected in the strong growth of the cosmetics and toiletries sector. Its total market value rose to $14.2 billion in 2007. In terms of total value spend, China is closing the gap on Asia-Pacific leader Japan. But in terms of per capita it lags far behind, standing at $10 in 2007, with Japan at $238. However, per capita expenditure is expected to rise by 104% during 2007–2012, a figure unrivalled anywhere else in the world.
Disposable incomes are rising in China, along with increasing sophistication among consumers, who are placing more emphasis on appearance and embracing Western culture more than ever before. These factors make the country a fertile ground for imported premium cosmetics. To the Chinese consumer, a premium brand is a status symbol, offering a quality guarantee that is well worth the indulgence. Currently standing at a retail value of $1.8 billion, premium products are also expected to achieve growth of 104% by 2012.
Major multinationals have been quick to catch on to the country's potential, and are now leading the way. Shiseido had 104 outlets in the country in 2004; in 2007, it had 2,500. Estée Lauder announced early in 2008 that it would introduce two or three more brands to the Chinese market by 2010—its skin care products currently have a 70% market share and its high-end products have a 25% share, according to Euromonitor International.


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Mixed-media quilt is 5 x 7 inches, "faced" instead of traditional binding. Fused dupioni
silks on a Hoffman batik background; size 11 seed beads; unknown size
of metallic beads around the eye areas; and Jacquard Lumiere Pearl
White fabric paint in the centers of the eyes. Mask pattern was
found on a copyright-free internet site.
The quilt will be sent in lieu of a store-bought birthday card to an internet friend I "met" on a technical computer forum.
This is not fine art, as the eyes are not the same and other areas are
not symmetrical. This is a "Marti playing" quilt and a personal
challenge to only use what I had on hand. I did very well until I didn't have enough metallic beads on hand for around the eye areas. I ran off to purchase metallic beads. Of
course, I found other beads that I wanted!
Marti in Houston, Texas
Hi Marti - We haven't chatted before, but between trips to bring in laundry (before it rains) and eat cherries (before the birds get them), I decided to check QA. I'm not sure if you intended to post a photo of your mixed media "birthday card", but if you did, it didn't work and I would love to see it!
"To create one's own world in any of the arts takes courage." - Georgia O'Keeffe
Tee Hee!!! Thank you. Post edited with photo included this time.
Thanks Marti! It looks like "Marti playing" was successful - and that you had fun!
A lot of fun. I did learn that I will not try to bead around that many small shapes. Sometimes I was beading through several layers of fabric and fusing material, which was difficult. However, I did finish the piece.
It's great! I love it!
my website
my blog
Marti, that is really cute. I would love to get something like that. So personal.
Belinda aka crazyartgirl
Blog: http://alteredbelly.blogspot.com/
The card is wonderful! What fusible did you use for the silk? A friend and I are "learning to art quilt" together - she just raised the question of how to use silk. . . The mask concept is great for the fabrics you chose. What a great card to receive!
Fusible: I used Lite Steam-A-Seam 2. I used the cotton setting on the iron (no steam) instead of the silk setting; and of course a silicone pressing sheet. I found a package of many colors of dupioni silk and also purchased some half yards for a project I worked on last year. I started with the mask pattern and knowing I wanted to use silk, went from there.
The quilt birthday card arrived in Montreal Canada! Yeah! My friend loves it and wanted to know how to put in on the wall (straight pins was my answer). It is so much fun to send quilted things to my cyber friends.
marti:My friend loves it and wanted to know how to put in on the wall (straight pins was my answer).
Here's something I've done with lightweight fabric pieces:
Denise in Mendota, IL
My blog
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ITHACA Jefferson Community Colleges Chadd Call shot a second-round, 6-over-par 77 Tuesday and finished second in the NJCAA Region 3 Golf Championships at the Robert Trent Jones Golf Course at Cornell University.
Call, the defending regional champion, was one of five golfers to qualify for the NJCAA Championships to be held in June.
Kyle Bromley of team champion Monroe CC shot a 75 Tuesday and earned individual honors with a 36-hole score of 155. Call shot 80 Monday and finished at 157.
JCCs George LaBarr tied for 17th with a score of 169. Both Pearce Parsons (86-85) and Joseph Fay (90-81) of JCC finished at 171, while Alex Hahn was at 177 (95-82).
Monroe CC won by nine shots over runner-up Onondaga CC, 641-650. JCC placed third at 664.
Thousands of readers like you have made Northern New York Newspapers the number one ranked website* for local news and sports coverage in the north country.
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The Antelope Butte Foundation will host an open house at the ski and recreation area in the Bighorn Mountains on Sunday.
The event, which will run from noon to 4 p.m., will feature complimentary beer, refreshments, burgers and brats.
ABF recently made a payment toward the purchase of the Antelope Butte Ski and Recreation Area. The milestone allows the foundation access to the facilities and to begin repairs and preventative maintenance.
According to ABF representatives, the group has already started cleaning the lodge and will be sealing leaks before the snow falls.
ABF must make an additional $220,000 in payments next year to secure the deed and begin full restoration of the property.
Zowada Plumbing and Heating and Dan Black have committed to provide labor and materials for all plumbing work at the lodge. ABF is currently working with additional volunteers and contractors to secure in-kind gifts of labor and materials to help renovate the lodge.
For additional information about the ABF or Sunday's open house, see antelopebuttefoundation.org or call 763-0203.
The Antelope Butte Ski and Recreation Area is located off U.S. 14 in the Bighorn Mountains approximately 59 miles west of Sheridan.


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with a minimum recurring order of $40 or more.
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*Free ground shipping applies to the 48 contiguous Unites States and excludes
Alaska, PR, Hawaii, Canada and other destinations. Orders are processed Monday
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Vienna-style roasting creates a deep brown, medium dark roast that toasts the beans to perfection. Our Viennese Blend combines select coffees for a cup of satisfying balance and depth. Mellow, smooth, and delicately nuanced with hints of chocolate, our Viennese Blend draws on a unique style of coffee roasting in Vienna that dates back to 1683 when Vienna's first coffee house opened.
(based on 4 reviews)
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Great mixed with House Blend
By Coffee Maven
from Southeast, New York
Comments about The Coffee Bean Viennese Coffee:
I buy the whole bean with the two coffee types in whole bean then grind it daily. Makes great iced coffee too.
Bottom Line Yes, I would recommend this to a friend
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Excellent Coffee but Only with Discount
By Sassy
from Louisiana
About Me Health Conscious, Simple Tastes
Product is excellent but expensive relative to your competitors.
(1 of 1 customers found this review helpful)
The coffee is great and unique(compared to competitors' roasts and blends) but significantly more expensive without discounts/free shipping. Will only purchase at sale prices. Price is relevant so must mention.
Best of the Lot
By Eddie G
from San Diego
Well rounded coffee, smooth, medium roast; back for seconds, thirds--insatiable.


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A Photographic Revolution in Rochester!
Sure, the times are changing and technology moves foreword. Yes, it's sad that films days are numbered, but quit your whining. There's another revolution in photography and it's coming from Rochester, the "image city." I'm referring to the counter culture of historic photographic processes and they're hot. Photographers all over the world are making their own plates and papers— and they're doing it here at Eastman House.
Azo print made with the gelatin emulsion process being taught in April
Tintype being fixed
Coating paper in the gelatin emulsion darkroom
Scully & Osterman Skylight Studio, where we'll shoot tintypes in March
The revival in the daguerreotype process started at George Eastman House back in the 1970s. Hey, we also jump-started the current craze in collodion photography by teaching the very first wet plate workshops in the mid-1990s. In the last two years we introduced dry collodion plates, collodion chloride printing-out paper and even did workshops in the earliest processes of Niepce, Daguerre and Talbot… the heliograph, physautotype and photogenic drawing! In private tutorials here at the museum we've taught albumen on glass and even orotones!
In March we have a great three day Tintype Workshop where we'll make plates under the skylight over at Scully & Osterman Studio and see amazing original images and even collodion era cameras and equipment from the archives at the museum.
Gelatin silver emulsions are soon going to be the next historic photographic process revival and now is the time to gather information before the culture is gone. This April ex-Kodak emulsion engineer Ron Mowrey and I will teach our third gelatin emulsion workshop!
This is the real stuff for all you people who have been so upset about the demise of emulsion. We'll be making a simple printing paper emulsion, but it's the first step to the more advanced film emulsions; so one step at a time. If we get enough interest we'll give a film and plate emulsion workshop next year, but the prerequisite would be the basic workshop. So, the way to keep film alive…is to make it your self!
Read more about all our 2012 Photography Workshops, or contact me directly at firstname.lastname@example.com to arrange a private tutorial, custom group workshop or if you need some advice with a process that's giving you trouble.
Mark Osterman is the Process Historian in the Kay R. Whitmore Conservation Center at George Eastman House. Best known for his depth of knowledge in the area of collodion photography, Osterman is also internationally recognized for his research and teaching of photographic processes from Niepce heliographs to gelatin emulsions. Osterman's curriculum, once reserved for the international conservation community, is now available to the public through a series of hands-on workshops at Eastman House and other venues in the U.S. and abroad.
One Response to "A Photographic Revolution in Rochester!"
Booked in and thoroughly looking forward to a one week course at Lacock Abbey this summer – can't wait! I'm doing the 1839 course, but I'd love to try out one of the wet plate collodion processes one day too.
14 Feb 2012 at 6:39 pm